#that's *72 hours see how hard it is typing on a phone

[slyandthefamilybook]

the internet was a mistake

[risingoftime]

can you do a riri fic where she says move your hand/ being aggressive during yk 🤭

𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖘 | 𝖗𝖎𝖗𝖎 𝖔 𝖋𝖊𝖒!𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

synopsis:  Riri had just returned to her hometown after her time at Wakanda and MIT. After her school year of stress, she’s looking forward to finally spending the summer with her childhood best friend. Yet, the feelings she ran away from all return once she’s with her again.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: smut, friends to lovers, implied cheating, fingering, softdom!riri, overstimulation, strap use!, min plot, cursing, multiple positions, strap riding, mutual orgasm.

18+ | minors do not interact

➴ feel free to send me more thots

The knocking on my window jolted me awake. Quickly wiping away the drool from my lips, I saw Riri staring back at me. I almost pushed her over when I whipped open the car door. Enfolding her in my arms, I squeezed her body close to mine and spun around. The scent wavering off her skin made me more entranced with Riri—a sweet vanilla and saffron cologne she always wore, her signature. Her head rested on my shoulder, and we stood momentarily until I pulled away to get a better look at my best friend. Riri had never been the girly type growing up. She used to always wear her hair out in a heap of curls and wore clothes that accentuated her masculine features. Riri claimed it was “easier” to wear loose clothing when working in the garage. Today, she kept her hair braided in straight-back cornrows, allowing me to see her face, unlike before. That wasn’t the only change that I noticed about her. She had a restless look, bags under her eyes and an unreadable emotion that I couldn’t place.

“I’ve missed you so much!” I shook her as I said so. Riri had just rolled her eyes in response with the same goofy smile she had when we were kids. “Yeah, I could see that. I waited at the terminal for almost an hour, ringing off your phone as you drooled on yourself.” Sneaking a peak at the time, I saw 4:47 pm flash across my iPhone. 

“I’m so sorry! How did you even find me?” 

“I can’t miss this bright ass red car you built with my Dad. It’s a sight for sore eyes. Is that the Cuda you’ve always been talking about? I didn’t know you finished  it.” Riri trailed her fingers on the car's tail and popped my trunk to begin putting her bags inside. The car has been my dream for as long as I can remember. It’s a 72 Plymouth Cuda that Mr. Williams and I restored to ride like new. I’ve spent my spare time outside university lecturers working in the shop. So this car was just a perk. 

“Yeah, and if you’ve been listening to me during our calls, you’d know that already.” 

I flicked Riri in the temple of her head, opened the passenger door for her to enter, and hopped in shortly after. Before starting the engine, I told her, “We have a lot to catch up on.” 

Riri took her time before driving to my house, and I expected nothing less. From the looks of it, Riri needed those moments with her family to unwind. Either way, it gave me more time to prepare for her to sleep over. Since she’s been gone, I’ve moved into my parent's basement after they renovated the house. So not only did I have a bigger room, but I also had a living space and my bathroom away from my younger siblings, which meant more privacy when I had company. And I wanted Riri all to myself tonight without interruption, to talk, of course. 

I don’t know when I developed feelings for Riri, but I assume they had always laid dormant, waiting patiently to be known. It arose during our first goodbye when Riri had to leave for MIT. My throat felt thick, like it was hard to swallow, and my chest hurt at the sight of her packed bags in front of her house. The feeling was foreign to me as I had never felt strongly about anyone in that way before. Not even for my past ex-boyfriends. I never truly cared who came and left as long as I had Riri by my side. So naturally, when she left for school, I was distraught. I tried to convince her to stay in our city and work for our Dad’s mechanic shop, but I knew in my heart that she was destined for more. Her mind was one of her best qualities. Since she was a child, it was unmistakable that Riri was a scientific protege. I couldn’t live with myself if I were the reason why she never went after her dreams and aspirations. Yet now, as she came back home for summer break, I was unsure how I would go another year without her near. 

I waited patiently in my living room and assessed the space around me. I lit candles, and Riri’s favourite snacks, hidden from my curious siblings, were now perfectly arranged on my coffee table. Since childhood, we’ve been inseparable, literally. Both of our Dads had been best friends since college and decided to move their families to the same neighbourhood. Riri and I ended up doing everything together because of it. We went to the same school, played in the same soccer league, visited our Dads at their mechanic shop, and rode our bikes whenever the weather allowed. Sunday dinners would either be at hers or mine, and if we were lucky, we could convince our parents to let us order takeout. I can’t remember a time as a kid without Riri not being too far behind. She captivated all of my dearest memories. I felt the same—nerves and excitement from the airport. Riri would be here any minute now, and I couldn’t stop watching the clock. Our calls and texts had been less frequent this year as Riri’s workload and responsibilities were never-ending, making me even more impatient to see her finally. 

Heavy footsteps descended the staircase, and I instantly knew who it was before I could see the face behind the wall. “Riri, I still don’t understand how you’re 5ft and walk as if you’re a grown man,” I laughed. Riri looked down at her feet-covered Nike socks once she entered the basement and shrugged nonchalantly before making a beeline toward the snacks on the table. Her eyes instantly lit up once she saw the arrangements of sweet and sour candy from our childhood.  

“No way! I didn’t even know these were still sold in stores,” she squealed. 

Riri hugged me before opening the snacks, beginning with the gummy worms. She sorted the candies by colour, leaving two piles for her and me. I never minded this because they all tasted similar to me, but not Riri; she’s always adamant about them tasting different. Reaching forward, I grabbed one from what I assumed was my pile, which Riri claimed to dislike. 

“Cheers?” I turned to her on the couch, holding the worm in my hand to reach her halfway, and bumped mine against hers before biting off the gummy. 

“I never understood why we always used to do that as kids. Looking back, we thought it was so cool, but it’s corny now that we’re older” Riri smiled in between bites and held a handful of the worms in her lap. Although she appeared to be different, deep down, Riri was still the person I called my best friend. 

“Aren’t all traditions a bit corny?” I asked. 

“I guess… But what did I miss while I was gone? You said we needed to catch up.” 

Stretching out my legs in front of me, I reached forward to grab the wine bottle and poured myself a glass. “Yeah, we do. But first, you need to tell me why you’ve been MIA at MIT. It’s not like you not return my calls or texts. And now? You show up like everything is normal. Did you forget I know you like the back of my hand?” I raised my eyebrow at Riri, beckoning her to respond. She pursed her lips as if she was in deep thought about what to say. The silence stretched between us until she broke. 

“I wish I could tell you, I do. Just know that I wasn’t purposefully ignoring you. Can we call it even? It’s not like you haven’t done the same in the past.”

“Speaking of, how’s Jayden?”  The smirk on her face returned when she brought up my ex. 

“First of all, Jayden and I are irrelevant; second of all, why do you keep changing the subject? Does this have something to do with Princess Shuri visiting your dorms?” 

“How did you find out about that?” Riri exclaimed. Her body turned frigid, and her posture was upright and tense. She was unaware when others kept tabs on her, probably how she got involved with Wakandan royalty. 

“You’re roommate MJ told me. I still have her number from when I visited you last time.” The bitter taste remained in my mouth from having to go as low as contacting Riri’s MIT friends to know why she had been airing my calls. After all, I’m her best friend. I should know about what’s going on in her life. But, instead, time and distance felt like it was driving us further apart. It felt like a knife had stabbed me in my chest. 

“Look, I would’ve told you everything if I could. It’s just complicated,” Riri sighed. 

“Yeah, I know you would. I was just worried about you. Next time, give me a heads up before you disappear like that again.” 

“You were worried about me?” Her facial features perked up at the thought. 

“Of course, I worry about you! You drove me to the point of tracking down your fucking roommate. That’s such a stupid question to ask me, Riri.” To my surprise, the girl had the nerve to laugh. 

“It’s so hard for me to take you seriously when you talk like that. You’re cute when you’re upset.” 

“I won’t be so cute when I shove my foot up your ass.” The smile on her face grew more prominent, and what was said next made my mouth drop in shock. 

“Careful. I might be into that shit.” 

I felt my heart race at the thought of what kinks Riri might have. She’s never been the most forthcoming about her sexual escapades. Riri hasn’t ever told me about her dating life. I just always assumed she didn’t have one. But her comment piqued my interest. 

“Oh really, so what are you into? MJ?” I asked. 

“MJ has a boyfriend, and what I like… I don’t think that she could handle that.”

 I narrowed my eyes at her, “handle what? Riri, you’re 5ft.” Her legs were spread out before her, taking up more space as she got comfortable. It was playful banter, but I could feel my head spinning from our conversation's whirlwind and the implications of Riri’s sexual escapades. I wasn’t used to being on the other side of this. Usually, I would be the one spilling all of the juicy secrets. A part of me was bothered that she had another life that she had never alluded to. One that was kept between the sheets. 

“You'd be surprised. I could make you forget about that sorry ass Jayden’s name.” Her cockiness always ticked me off, yet now I was outright embarrassed. I had been more than forthcoming with Riri about Jay’s weak ass stroke game, and now she was throwing it back in my face. 

“It wasn’t like he was that memorable anyways,” I retorted. I ignored Riri’s suggestion, unsure if it was wise to venture and explore that side of our relationship. It wasn’t that I hadn’t noticed the tension or stolen glances that were exchanged between us. I was just scared to make the first move.

 “And I doubt you could have me hooked on you just like that. For all I know, you’re a holy virgin.” I held a poker face to conceal my beating heart and the jittery nerves that kept my body on edge. Riri’s eyes raked over my body, and suddenly my clothing felt invisible. 

“Give me five minutes. That’s all I need to get you begging for me.”

 Picturing what Riri’s hands were capable of with me underneath her. I’ve watched her work in the shop, observing how her nimble fingers can reach all the tricky spots to complete a job. I couldn't help but now wonder what they were capable of.  I bit my lip to distract myself from the oncoming images that shadowed my rational thoughts.

“Five minutes,” she repeated, “and I'll compensate for all the stress I caused.” 

Riri could tell my mind was turning and debating what to say next. She closed the space between us. I looked down at our legs and how hers brushed against mine. With every move, Riri had made my body even more hyper-aware of what would happen. Her fingers trailed along my legs, hinting at her intentions. My breath hitched at the contact. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had sex or a good fuck. Jayden was a pretty boy but wasn’t good for anything else but to look at. He kept me company for the time being until what I wanted flew in. Now that it was in front of me, I was unsure if I had the confidence to take it. 

“If we do this, Riri, I can’t forget it happened.” 

“Neither can I, and I don’t want to.”  Riri’s hand brushed against my cheek, and my breath hitched as her face approached nearer. I could smell the candy on her, the sugar remnants still on Riri’s lips. I craved to know what it would feel like to be the one who could lick it off. I felt the familiar wet spot between my legs from the mere thought of having Riri’s body against mine. Once her lips met mine, all my thoughts drifted away and were replaced by lustful impulses. It began soft and tentative, as if we were kids again, unsure of the other. Riri’s full lips were unbelievably soft as I lightly bit her bottom lip, encouraging her to open up further for my tongue to slip inside. The taste of sugar invigorated my senses, awakening every cell in my body and urging me to wrap my arms around Riri’s waist. I pressed myself towards her until our bodies were flushed against each other. I was practically on top of her at this point. I only paused between our heated makeout to bring my legs on either side of Riri to straddle her. I had been so distracted earlier that I hadn’t noticed the bulge between her legs. My mind began to reel at the realization of what it might be that I was feeling underneath me. Moving my hips in search of any friction that it could provide, I could feel myself begin to feel desperate, almost ready to beg for Riri to rub her fingers along my pussy. 

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” I said, sounding husky and breathless. 

Riri nodded in response and picked me up to stand upright from the couch. I guided her along the corridor to my room, and she wasted no time throwing me onto the bed. My eyes were wide from the shock of her strength. I noted how her back flexed when she removed her sweater and the light happy trail that led down to the band of her boxers once she turned to face me. My eyes lingered on the outline of her strap. Riri’s gaze met mine, then smirked, clearly aware of where I was looking. 

“Take off your clothes.”

Slowly, I lifted my shirt to reveal the pushup bra underneath. Stealing a glance at Riri, I could decipher the temptation and desire that lay dormant as she licked her lips. She looked as if she was ready to pounce at any second, making me want to move aggravatingly slowly. I tried to make her wait like she had done to me. Moving to the edge of the bed, I discarded the pants I wore onto the floor. I looked up at Riri for a sign of what may happen next. She stood between my legs and brought her hand to wrap around my neck, forcing my head back. I had completely submitted myself to her, trusting her fully. Riri applied pressure on either side of my neck, and when my mouth parted from the new sensation, she connected her lips to mine and slipped her tongue inside—breathing in each other’s air as her fingers circled the thin fabric that barely kept my lower lips covered. Riri’s fingertips rubbed my clit in an aggravatingly slow motion. I bucked my hips forward, urging her to increase her speed. At this moment, I didn’t want anything more than to be consumed by Riri’s presence. 

“Open your legs wider,” Riri commanded. 

I did as I was told, pushing my thighs further apart to permit more accessible access to my throbbing center. Riri dived deeper, teasing the entrance of my pussy, only allowing a fraction of her index and middle finger to thrust inside. The moan that escaped from me was sinful. 

“Riri, please” 

“Please, what?” she replied. 

“Please stop playing with me” My voice came out a pitch higher and sounded whiny. 

“Your wish is my command, Princess.”

Riri repositioned herself so that her bottom half was flush against mine while she moved her fingers further inside. She used her hips to guide her hand to apply pressure. I could feel myself get wetter the longer she continued. The sounds of my pussy filled the room, leaving no secret to what was happening in my bedroom. Riri left sloppy kisses on my collarbone to my neck until she reached my ear, only pausing to whisper, “Can I put it in?” I knew what she was referring to and nodded my head. I didn’t trust myself to be able to get the words out. 

“Use your words.”

“Yes.” 

“Yes, what?” Frustration briefly overtook me, and I was reminded that I was telling my childhood best friend to fuck me. I suddenly felt shy as I said, “Yes, Riri, please put it in.” 

“See, now, was that so hard to say?” 

I didn’t answer her question and watched Riri instead as she removed her pants and briefs to reveal an opaque pink dildo attached to her strap. Not the colour that I was expecting, but the size surprised me. It could’ve at least been 7 inches bigger than Jayden, that’s for sure. Riri held the pink dick in her hand and slowly glided it along my pussy, taking extra time to rub the tip against my clit before lowering it inside and stretching me out. Riri went slow at first until her full length was inside. My legs had already begun to shake from the new sensation that I felt from the girth of the dildo. 

“How does it feel, baby?” Riri began to grind her hips while thrusting in and out of my pussy. Her pace remained unhurried. She was enjoying watching my facial expressions with a sultry smile. When I didn’t respond immediately, Riri began increasing her tempo, and I couldn’t silence the escaping moan. “Fuck- so good,” I sighed.  She kept pounding inside me until my broken cries turned into gasps. I slyly moved my hands down to her torso to slow her down. Instead, Riri grabbed my hands and pinned them down onto the mattress. 

“C'mon, you can take it.” Riri’s lips hovered over mine, keeping eye contact throughout. I am completely and utterly lost in her trance. I’m convinced she wants to leave her mark, leave me so drunk off of her that I wouldn’t be able to think of glancing at another man. “Riri, I can’t; I’m going to cum” I whispered. I sigh into her kiss as Riri swirls her tongue around mine and wraps my legs around her waist to lock her closer. She released my hands to wrap her arms around me and flipped us over in the bed, so I was now on top of her. 

“Ride it out, baby girl” Riri kept her hands around my waist to keep me in place. I took my time to adjust to the new position that she had put us in and bobbed my hips on the strap, loving how deep it could go and fill my hole. I began desperately grinding in search of more. It brought felicity that I had not known before, so intensely that I hadn’t noticed how loud I was getting with each movement. “Shhh, baby,” Riri growled. “Shit,” we didn’t have the house to ourselves. I bit my lip as a reminder to remain quiet while I felt the orgasm take over me and my fluids slipping down onto the harness she wore. My core began to contract, and my legs began to tremble as I whimpered in her ear. “I’m cumming, Riri.” 

"Yeah?" Riri planted her feet on the mattress, balancing myself on top of her before she began thrusting upwards. 

“I’m not done yet,” she said. 

My pussy gripped around her as she kissed my G-spot with each thrust, pushing me to my next peak. "I can feel it on my clit" Her low voice was shaky, and it turned me on even more at the thought of her getting off from fucking me and using me like a toy. It sent a wave of urgency and need to make her cum. I was pinned against her and unable to free myself from her grip. “Keep bouncing on it, baby” Riri’s mouth was open agape, and she struggled to keep her eyes open as her small sighs of euphoria became moans. “Mmph.” Riri was unrelenting in chasing her high. My pussy got wetter from watching her face conform to a blissed-out state. 

“I’m so close, don’t move” Her voice was staggered and pleading. 

“Me too,” I replied. 

The last thing I saw was Riri’s eyes rolling back until my orgasm overtook me. I didn’t care who would hear as we moaned in each other’s mouths, breathing in the same air. My head spun out from cumming so hard. Riri’s legs collapsed, making the bed squeak from the sudden movement. When I opened my eyes, Riri analyzed me with a peaceful expression. 

“What? Why are you staring at me?” I asked. 

“You’re so beautiful” She smiled the same smile that she had at the airport earlier. I gave her a side eye and tried to shake my body off her, but her firm hold on me remained. 

“Aren’t you going to let me go?” I asked. 

“Not after you gave me great sex like that. I’m ready to go for round two,” Riri stated. 

“Round two?” I shrieked.

It was apparent that what had just occurred between us was longer than five minutes, but I couldn’t stop. Once I kissed Riri, I had already gained an insatiable appetite for her. I was left yearning for more and more. While lying there with Riri, I wondered what had I gotten myself into? 

[bottlesofrouge]

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part three.

word count: 14K

warnings: homophobia

29 JUNE 2018

whatever made lynn think an hour drive with harry would be fine could not have been more wrong. the two left his apartment complex approximately fourteen minutes ago and they've already argued over what song to play a total of three times and just how high the air conditioning should be set to.

lynn thought 72 degrees was a decent temperature, but harry wanted it set to 62. it wasn't her fault he decided to wear a sweater vest in the middle of june.

a text from jackie comes through on the screen of the car which lynn is used to. but this time, harry's phone was connected to the apple carplay, and he's quick to close out the notification.

"how's jackie?" she can't help but ask.

"she's good," harry's smiling at his phone. "even better in bed."

lynn grips the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turn white. "that's good."

honestly, lynn wasn't mad. there wasn't a single part of her that wanted harry for herself. he simply wasn't her type (nobody was her type). however, there was something a little unnerving about harry having an entire college campus full of girls to sleep with and still choosing her childhood best friend.

harry was meeting her family for the first time today and to say she was nervous would be an understatement. she could barely stomach dinner last night and opted to skip breakfast entirely this morning. he wasn't always the most polite person to be around, and lynn was terrified to see how he acted around children.

"we should probably kiss or something," harry pulls her from her thoughts.

"i'm sorry?"

"you know," he waves his hand in the air. "to make it more believable or whatever. we haven't been affectionate around my parents at all, and we've been seeing each other for nearly a month. do you think you can handle it?"

lynn scoffs, "can you?"

"i'm certain i'll be able to hold back the vomit," he says. "nothing too crazy, either. it has to look natural."

"don't be silly," she turns into the parking lot of the performance center. "most men would die for a chance to taste my cherry chapstick."

"alright, katy perry," he rolled his eyes. "try not to look so stiff."

"what's that su-" she's cut off by the sound of harry's door slamming.

when she meets him in front of the car, he takes her hand and leans in with that god-awful dead stare on his face. the kiss is quick, and feels like it looks natural. (at least she thinks so.) lynn hasn't kissed anyone in years. she doesn't want to overthink it, so she pushes it to the back of her mind as the two walk hand in hand to meet her family.

it was just peter, kathy, and amelia, but lynn felt like her heart was going to fall out of her ass as she watched him shake hands with each of them. god, they were going to find out. lynn would never date someone like harry.

"you must be amelia," harry says. "your sister talks about you an awful lot."

lynn watches as amelia smiles at his lie. she had told him her name eight minutes ago and that was literally all he knew about her. the group moves inside and lynn sits in between harry and amelia with her parents on the other side of her sister.

leaning her head against harry's shoulder, she whispers so only he can hear her. "what? no hot and steamy texts that need your constant attention?"

harry hums, "probably. left my phone in the car though. wanted all my attention to be on lane's dance recital."

"jane," lynn corrects. "her name is jane."

"same thing," he rests his hand on lynn's knee, squeezing just once. "now relax, blondie. we have an hour of 'jazztastical fun'," harry underlines the words on the program they were handed at the door with his finger as he speaks.

"that's a stupid word," lynn leans back in her chair, harry's hand still resting on her knee.

"looks like we can finally agree on something."

she wasn't sure what she was expecting 'jazztastical' meant, but surely, it wasn't supposed to be this boring. being in one of the youngest classes, jane was one of the first groups to perform, leaving another five groups to follow after.

lynn usually left the second jane's group was finished, meeting her in the parking lot with a bouquet of flowers and her favorite chocolate afterward. this time she brought harry, and she was going to make him sit through every last second. it was only fair. she's sat through two of his family dinners.

the second family dinner wasn't near as bad as the first. although, this one only consisted of marianne and gemma (and as soon as they left, jackie). marianne brought expensive wine that gemma said paired exceptionally well with the pastries lynn had gifted them.

harry had cooked for them, and it was actually good, just like their dinner conversation. the whole event was a lot more relaxing without john's presence and lynn couldn't help but wonder if that was a common occurrence in the styles' household.

when they meet jane backstage after the recital, she's disappointed to see lynn without her flowers and her usual chocolate bar. and of course, because she's five, she makes it well known to everyone in the tiny room.

"no hershey's?" she looks up at her sister through her thick eyelashes, and god, was lynn done for.

so, because she's lynn, she offers to take her for ice cream across the street. harry doesn't seem entirely against the idea, but he doesn't seem too thrilled either. maybe he had a date with jackie that he needed to get back for. the thought of that makes lynn want to offer to drop jane back at her parents' house and amelia at her friends' just to make him even later.

so she does.

harry and jane both get mint chip ice cream and surprisingly jane actually likes it this time. she couldn't tell if she was pretending because harry liked it, but the girl wasn't complaining so she wasn't too worried.

"are you lynn's first boyfriend, harry?" jane says around a spoonful of her green ice cream.

harry clears his throat and amelia nudges her little sister, "she had one when you were a baby, janey"

"your recital was so good, jane." she rushes to change the subject, and lynn feels her face growing hot because she didn't realize amelia remembered anything about her last serious boyfriend. they never talked about him. "i'm so proud of you."

"ive honestly never seen a better pirouette," harry says, and lynn watches as her sister's face lights up.

"i practiced really good because miss tina said i looked sloppy."

"it looked great, janey. i wish i was half as good as you when i was a dancer," he smiles so warmly at the girl, lynn thinks it might melt all of the ice cream sitting on the table.

"what?" jane throws her hands up in the air and screams so loudly that a little bit of ice cream flies from her mouth. "i didn't know boys dance."

"aiden?" amelia says. "he's in your class, jane. you see him every day."

"oh yeah," jane turns her attention back to her ice cream, and lynn notices she's just eating the chocolate pieces out.

when they drop jane off, she insists on showing harry her entire barbie collection which consists of a total of 68 dolls. whoever said you couldn't buy a child's love clearly has never met kathleen.

lynn leans against the doorframe of her little sister's playroom and watches as harry moves a little doll around while jane's laughing the kind of laugh that is filled with so much happiness it hurts your stomach a little.

and lynn wonders this is the side of harry that jackie gets. the one that has her going to sleep with sore cheeks just from smiling so hard all day. lynn knows that she's not the most approachable, and usually, she's rarely anything but cold, but she can't help but wonder why harry didn't like her.

"harrrrryyyyyy," the girl whines. "dance with me."

"janeyyyyy," he mimics. "i can't. i haven't danced in a few years."

"that's okay. i'll teach you again," she takes his hand, and lynn expects harry to shake her off and decline once again. but, he doesn't. he takes her hand and lets her lead. and lynn stays hidden in the shadows, watching every giggle fall from jane's mouth earn a grin so big from harry, she thinks they might be warmer than luke's sunshine smiles.

peter invites them to stay for dinner, and lynn was about to decline when harry speaks for her and says they would love to stay. apparently, kathleen had spent hours in the kitchen, which was more time than lynn had seen her cooking throughout her entire life combined. peter had said they do big family meals like this once a week, and something deep inside of lynn twists. it was like her father's words tried to erase every night she sat at the breakfast bar alone, eating a kid cuisine that elena had made for her before going out with her friends.

she feels like she's watching this entire dinner play out from a spectator's standpoint. she wants to scream and yell that this isn't them. this is an act that her parents are putting on, and she has a reason to resent them. she really does. she wants to grab harry by the shoulders and shake him. beg him to see right through them because she didn't want to be made out as being the hateful firstborn who does anything to spite her loving parents.

instead, she twirls the spaghetti around her fork and takes another sip of her wine.

"i'm sorry," harry says to her once they're on the way back to his apartment. it was late. the sun had set hours ago, and the only thing lighting up her car were the street lights they passed every few meters.

lynn hums and keeps her eyes on the road because she's not really sure what harry's apologizing for, and she doesn't think she can handle a backhanded remark right now. spending time with her parents took almost everything out of her.

"i blew off your sister's first recital because kids don't like me and i didn't want..."

his voice trails off, and lynn can't hold back the eye roll.

"it's okay to say you didn't want to go."

"to disappoint you," harry leans his head against the window as he speaks, avoiding any possible eye contact with her. "i didn't want to disappoint you. or them. i don't know... probably all three of you all. i was scared."

"jane really likes you, harry. amelia, too. you don't have to be scared around us."

"yeah?"

"yeah," the silence that falls around them is almost comforting in a way, and lynn almost doesn't want to break it but it feels right. "and you are so good with them. especially jane."

she watches the way he smiles to himself in the reflection of the window. the silence is back and lynn thinks it deserves to stay after a day like today. harry closes his eyes, only for a second before opening them again and offering lynn a bed to crash in because he's seen her yawn twice.

and really, who is lynn to say no?

1 JULY 2018

they have their third styles' family dinner at harry's parents' house. he spent nearly the entire drive over there on the phone with his dad, begging him to treat lynn with an ounce of respect. in the end, they weren't allowed to talk about college, jobs, promotions, or income.

the gesture surprised lynn if she was being honest. after the first dinner, she didn't really expect harry to stand up for her at all. and it's not like he needed to. she was perfectly okay with doing it herself.

they remain in silence for nearly the entire drive. nothing but the sound of rain hitting the car could be heard. she wasn't sure if she should thank him for speaking with his dad, or if he was doing it out of guilt after what lynn had witnessed when she got to harry's apartment.

she had walked in on harry knuckles deep inside of jackie, and turned right back around and walked out without saying a word. she took the elevator down and paced around the hallway for a second before sending harry a text to let him know she was outside. she wasn't sure if they knew she saw them, but when harry got into the car with pink cheeks and stuttered over his words, her suspicions were confirmed.

"i was thinking," harry breaks the silence. "you can choose the music for the whole ride. my apology for what you saw earlier."

"i'll play whatever i want," lynn glares at him. "you're in my car."

"damn okay," harry raises his hands like lynn's got a gun to his head. "now i see what jackie means."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

he shakes his head. "said you hadn't gotten laid in a while and you'd probably be uptight all night."

the way lynn swerves when the words leave his mouth lets him know that maybe what jackie said should have been kept between just them.

lynn doesn't end up responding, and really, she shouldn't have to. because jackie knew the real reason she hasn't slept with anyone in ages and she can't help but wonder if she shared that with harry, too.

"i'm sensing you're mad at me," harry says.

"congratulations! you know how to read social cues," lynn rolls her eyes, and the car goes silent again.

when they get there, marianne was in the kitchen preparing dinner while john was relaxing in the living room. lynn could say a thousand horrible things about her own father, but when kathleen was up and contributing to the household, peter was, too.

"lynn, so nice to see you," john smiles at her, but makes no move to get up from the couch. "mari said you brought some lovely pastries last time. i was hoping you'd do the same this time."

"sorry," lynn says. "didn't have time to stop today."

the conversation dies right there as john doesn't bother to reply, and lynn takes it as as sign to go offer her help to marianne. she wasn't the best cook but certainly she would be able to chop an onion.

and maybe she was wrong. because marianne hands her a cutting board along with a knife and a few different vegetables. she slices one carrot and cubes a single potato before the woman puts her hand on her shoulder and asks if she would mind helping harry set the table.

there were only four of them, and they were having soup. setting the table was not a two-person job.

marianne's phone rings while she's trying to take a selfie with the two to send to gemma and she accidentally answers it. an older woman pops up on the screen, and lynn guesses it to be harry's grandmother.

"mom," marianne turns around so it's only her in the frame. she's smiling so brightly, but her tone is a little off. "is everything alright?"

"i just had some free time and i thought i'd give you a call," the older woman says. lynn moves behind marianne to finish setting the table. "is that gemma back there? put her on. i've missed my favorite grandchild."

"that's harry's girlfriend, mom."

"oh... he's there?" the old woman's demeanor completely. she went from sounding so incredibly warm to sounding ice cold with the sourest expression on her face in a matter of seconds. when marianne says yes, the older woman hangs up the call.

"harry..." anne looks up from her phone to look harry who hasn't moved from the spot in front of her.

"it's alright."

"i didn't mean to answer," she says. "i would never do that."

"really, it's okay," he offers her a warm smile, but lynn can tell that it doesn't really reach his eyes. at least not the way it did when he was dancing with jane.

harry excuses himself outside and lynn can't help but to follow when he doesn't return a few minutes later. she finds him sitting on one of the outdoor couches marianne and john have on their back porch. there's an overhang, but the porch isn't entirely closed in, so she's certain he's getting a little damp.

"hey," she leans over the back of the couch. "you alright?"

"hm?" he turns his head ever so slightly to see who it was. "yeah. i'm fine."

"yeah?" because it looks like you've been crying, she wants to say. "you sure?"

"yeah," he leans his face against her hand that's resting on the couch.

so lynn moves it to his cheek, and then his hair, and then to his shoulders, and she doesn't really know why she ends up massaging nearly every part of harry she can reach, but she does. because harry's sad and something really, really deep inside of her wants to make it better.

the way he leans into her touch is so soft, so unlike him. or maybe it is like him. lynn doesn't know. whatever he gave her was surface level and she's certain the most she'll ever get out of him is his favorite color.

"ah, you guys compliment each other so well," marianne's voice comes through the cracked back door. lynn feels her face burn at being caught. and also because how long have they been out there? "i don't want to interrupt, but dinner's on the table."

"thank you," harry says when it's just them outside. it's quiet, and he's following his mom inside before she even has a chance to respond.

dinner is less painful than expected. john follows all of the conversation guidelines he agreed to. except for once, when he made a sly comment about getting a college education. lynn would've made a slight deal about it, but harry had been nearly silent the whole dinner. the only sounds that came from him were the occasional hums of agreement and the occasional scraping of his spoon against the ceramic bowl. she thinks an argument with his father might be just what he needs to set him over the edge.

marianne surprises them with homemade brownies, and lynn ends up eating harry's for him because he said he didn't feel well and she didn't want to hurt the woman's feelings. and also they were extremely good.

when they leave, lynn has the leftovers in her hands, and harry carries the weight of the million 'i'm sorry's that his mom threw at him before they walked out of the door.

"are you up for a little drive?" lynn asks once they're both in the car. harry's putting his shoes on her dash, and she decides that she can let it slide tonight. just this once.

"where to?"

"no where in particular."

"i feel like this is going to lead to my murder," he reclines the seat and leans back, eyes closing.

"ha ha," her voice is monotone."i just," and she knows she shouldn't be prodding, but lynn couldn't help it. she's never seen harry act like that in the entire month she's known him. " i saw the way your demeanor changed after that call with your grandmother."

"lynn-"

"i know. it's not my place. i'm not asking you to tell me. we can sit in silence, or you can put music on. i'm not picky." she looks over at harry. "driving around is what used to help me."

"okay," he says. "but can we get tea or something?'

"sure," lynn opens her maps to see starbucks is the only coffee shop still open and she apologizes for it, but harry assures her that it's okay. starbucks tea was his favorite.

when they get to the drive-thru, lynn's annoyed to see that there's not a single tea menu listed on the board. she asks for a green tea, and the barista replies, asking if she was looking for the emperor's cloud or the jade citrus mint.

"i'll have a honey citrus mint," harry says. "i think you'd like the mint majesty. it's caffeine free, too."

"yeah? okay," she orders the two teas and harry insists on paying because it was his idea and really, she couldn't complain about free tea.

they drive in silence only for a few minutes before harry reaches for her phone to put on some music. he shuffles one of the 1975's albums. lynn really wasn't sure which one it was because she never listens to them, but it wasn't bad. and neither was her tea. in fact, it was good. better than good even. she loved it. lynn would be lying if she said she wasn't curious as to how harry knew she'd like it.

"are you sure you like your tea?" lynn says over a song change. "you've barely touched it, and i don't mind trading with you."

"i know. i used to get it whenever i was sick." his thumb traces the lid as he speaks. "it's more of a comfort thing i guess."

harry's sitting with his hang hanging low almost like it was too heavy for him to hold up. he's either looking at his feet or his face is pressed against the window. seeing him like this makes lynn finally crack, "are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"when my grandmother called my mom today," his voice was scratchy, and he pauses. lynn's not sure if he was clearing his throat or on the verge of tears. "it was the first time i've heard her voice in a year. she doesn't really like me."

"does your stellar attitude have something to do with it?" it was meant to be a joke but harry seemed to find no amusement in it.

"no, it's because i loved a boy."

she laughs a little because harry was the textbook definition of a straight male. besides the fact that he's probably slept with half of the female population, his attitude gave it away. lynn looks over at him expecting a joking smile to be sat on his lips, only she's met with the most stone-cold expression she's ever seen on harry's face.

"oh," she clears her throat and sets her tea in the cup holder. she wasn't expecting harry to be so honest with her. "well, your grandma fucking sucks for that."

"you really think so?"

"i do. i also think that you shouldn't try and change yourself because of your family's shitty opinions... i'm referring to the whole jackie thing if that wasn't obvious."

"wise words, lynn, and your reference was very obvious...but i also like women," he holds his hands in front of his mouth like someone had just told him some life-altering secret. "i know. shocking."

"i read a book in my gender studies class called compulsory heterosexuality. maybe you just think you do because that's what society tells you."

"i am extremely confident when it comes to my attraction to women," he has a small smile on his lips. "would you like a demonstration?"

"and there's the harry i know," she smiles at him, and he only stares at her. "what?"

"i don't think i've ever seen you genuinely smile," lynn wants to say the same about him, but that would be a lie because she's seen him smile with nearly everyone but her.

"yeah, yeah," she waves him off. "if you ever need to vent about your grandmother, i'm all ears. and for the small price of another mint majesty tea, i can even pretend like it never happened afterward."

"you know me too well," he says. "thank you for tonight."

"any time."

"do you think maybe i could sleep at yours?" he asks.

lynn's immediate response is to say no, but she doesn't. she lets a few moments pass and then settles for an "okay, but consider this your warning."

4 JULY 2018

when lynn warns harry about her place, he expects it to be a little messy. clothes thrown around the room, an unmade bed, and perhaps a spider or two lurking in the corner. or maybe it was in a busy neighborhood with lots and lots of loud traffic.

it's neither. lynn's studio apartment is located in a nice, gated apartment complex, far away from any busy street with lots of noisy cars. it's cluttered, but also extremely clean. it smells like freshly washed sheets that were hung on a beach to dry, but also like warm vanilla (which was also how her hands smelled when he pressed his face into them).

there's books laying on a desk in the corner, each one with a dog-eared page near the end. two half-empty mugs sat in her sink, and there was a bouquet of wilting flowers sitting in the middle of the counter. drawings and paintings from jane were stuck on her refrigerator with alphabet magnets, and pictures of her sisters hung front and center.

her bed was in the corner of the room. it was unmade but still looked clean if that made sense. you could tell the sheets were frequently washed and didn't have an ecosystem growing in between one of the layers.

her duvet cover was white, but the blush pink sheets poked out from underneath. and there was a stuffed bear that sat against one of the pillows that had a little too much wear to be amelia's or jane's.

the whole apartment was nothing like what harry imagined lynn was like underneath that cold, hard front she put up. he expected her apartment to be sterile feeling with little to no signs of life. he imagined it to be bigger and practically unused. but this was different. it felt like a home.

he doesn't know what lynn's warning was for until he's wearing her clothes and laying under the blankets that sat on top of some kind of rolled up mattress that she pulled out of a closet.

lynn pulls a key off of her nightstand, and walks over to the door where harry sees the four deadbolts lined up. she locks every single one of them, and then gets into bed, gripping the key in her hand.

"should i be scared?" harry had asked. he doesn't remember the area on the drive in, but certainly there's not enough crime to warrant four locks on the door.

"no," was all she said before rolling over, back facing him. "goodnight, harry."

he so badly wanted to ask what that was about, but he doesn't get the chance because when he wakes up, lynn's gone. nothing but a note stating he has to show up to her family's fourth of july party in return for her hospitality the night prior.

harry could say she's slept at his twice before and he's willing to call it even, but he kind of wants to hang out with her sisters again. so, he puts the note in his pocket, and steals one of her hoodies before calling an uber back to his.

he wasn't really sure what exactly consisted of a family picnic because growing up, the fourth of july meant sparklers and staying up past his bedtime and that was it. there was no family get togethers, and only on special occasions were they allowed to go into town to watch the fireworks.

so harry googles it, and decides to bring a side dish along with jackie. really, she caught harry as he was walking out of his front door, and harry's not one to turn down an environmentally friendly car pool.

"this is my first adams' family picnic," jackie says on the drive over. "silas always raves about them, but i've skipped them so much. lynn's stopped inviting me."

"she didn't invite you?"

jackie shakes her head. "honestly, i'm not surprised. she's been so forgetful recently," she takes his hand and presses her lips to his knuckle. "but, im happy to get to spend some time with you."

"yeah," harry says before thinking. he was okay with people thinking he was in an open relationship, but he wasn't entirely sure if his or lynn's family fit into that category of people. "actually, jackie, i don't know if we should in front of lynn's family."

the girl mumbles something under her breath and looks out the window.

when they get there, lynn's not answering her phone, so he follows jackie through the side gate into the adams' backyard. he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't lynn's entire extended family.

"harry, i'm so glad you could make it." kathleen seems to appear out of nowhere and hugs him. she kisses both of his cheeks and then moves to jackie and does the same to the girl. "and jackie, it's so nice to see you. it's been forever."

"it has, miss kathy," jackie grins. "thank you for having me."

"you know you're welcome anytime. and you, too, harry. you must be pretty special to lynn if she's kept you around this long."

"she's pretty special to me, too." harry smiles to hide the way his entire body cringes at the words, and hopes kathleen doesn't notice. he felt so awkward and out of place, and he didn't realize just how much effort lynn put into this whole thing. she was the one who usually took the lead and guided him through these conversations with her parents, and he felt he was a little too far in over his head without her.

what if he said the wrong thing and their parents found out everything was fake? he'd quite literally have to off himself if anyone found out that he was playing pretend with a girl his mom had set him up with at his big age of twenty one. that would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. even worse than the make shift intervention.

"how about we grab a drink?" jackie asks. her brow's raised and she has a smile on her face. harry thinks he'll need quite a few drinks to stomach this party, so he nods and follows her to the coolers.

a hour or two later, harry's stumbling through the sliding glass door that leads to the house. he's not really sure how much time has passed, but he's certain of two things.

1: he really needed to find a bathroom

2: one more drink and he would be borderline obliterated

jackie's behind him, wiping her wet feet on the mat outside. they had been sitting with their feet in the pool, sharing drinks supplied by peter and kathleen and sipping little pink whitney shooters jackie kept in her purse "for emergencies".

the two run into lynn in her parents' kitchen after leaving the bathroom. she was leaning over the counter, pouring some powder into a very expensive looking kitchen aid. silas, who harry didn't expect, was standing behind her with his hand on her lower back.

"hey you two," jackie draws the attention of the pair, her words slurring together.

"oh, jackie," lynn doesn't bother to turn around but harry can see her glance at silas. her voice is so monotone, and she doesn't even try to hide her lack of enthusiasm. "glad you could make it."

"figured you just forgot to text me," jackie raises her brows, and then a little quieter she says, "that seems to be a common occurrence lately."

silence floods the room for a second before silas steps away, extending his had to harry. "i'm silas," he says. "it's nice to finally meet you. lynn always has nice things to say."

jackie laughs loudly at this and harry feels so incredibly awkward. obviously there was some unresolved tension in the group, and perhaps he shouldn't have let jackie carpool with him after all.

"i could say the same," harry shakes his hand, and goddamn, did he have a grip. if silas squeezed any harder, harry thinks there wouldn't be a bone in his hand left unbroken.

"i hope so. she shouldn't have a bad word to say," silas's voice is so cool and even as he walks back over to lynn, pulling her hair from her shoulders. "had an accident a few years ago."

harry looks to see lynn smiling one of those rare, warm smiles she gave him that night in her car, but this time her smile's for silas. "resulted in a very unfortunate bob."

"hmm," jackie hums next to him. "wasn't as bad as your bang era."

harry clears his throat when he sees the very noticeable grown out bangs framing lynn's face. "i um-," he rocks back and forth on his feet, the pink whitney and beer bubbling up in his throat. "i made a pasta salad, but i think i left it on my counter. i'm going to-"

"what the fuck is going on with you, jackie?" silas turns around and has his back resting on the counter. his arms are crossed in front of him and he watches as lynn leans into him, her hand resting on his chest as she tries to whisper something to him. "lynn, no. she should go."

no one says anything, and harry cannot stop looking at the way silas stands behind lynn with his arm now wrapped around her, holding her against him like she needed some kind of protection.

"silas is right," lynn's voice is soft. "i'll pay for your uber, but you really should go. you're drunk."

"you're both crazy. i'm not drunk."

"we're crazy?" silas steps toward her. "jackie, you're the one who's been fucking lynn's boyfriend."

harry waits for one of the girls to correct silas because harry was lynn's fake boyfriend, but neither do, and harry can feel the cold sweat forming as the realization hits. jackie thought it was all real.

he looks up at lynn, and the look on her face was enough to make harry feel like he's been punched in the stomach, and he can't believe he was the cause of it. he wouldn't let things with jackie go as far as they did if he had known.

harry doesn't say anything when silas walks jackie out. honestly, all harry could think about was lynn and the thousands of ways he needed to apologize to her. maybe it was all the drinks, but he felt so, so guilty.

she's turned away from him, her attention back on whatever she was baking. "do you need any help, lynn?"

"i think you've done enough." as the words leave her mouth, he doesn't feel so bad anymore.. sure, he slept with jackie, but he always assumed she knew about their arrangement just like silas did. there were plenty of opportunities for lynn to tell him that she didn't and that the two seeing each other made her uncomfortable, but she never did. he wasn't going to take the blame for something he didn't know about.

"and what have i done exactly?" she starts pouring the batter into cupcake tins, and ignores his words. "it's okay to say you want me all to yourself, blondie."

"in your dreams, harry." she turns around finally, licking the spoon in a way that has harry's jaw going a little slack. "go do something. you're bothering me."

he hums for a second with his finger tapping his chin like he was actually pondering it, "i don't think i will."

"silas is outside. you could go see how many of my friends you can get to sleep with you."

"i'll think about it. he's not really my type."

"i thought you could always appreciate a good body," harry can't help it when he cracks a little smile.

it's quiet for a beat, and lynn goes to put her cupcakes in the oven. she's wearing a pair of jeans that fit her in all the right ways and when she bends down to slide the pan in, harry can't help himself. "why do you think i'm still sitting here?"

he hears lynn scoff, "i'm not sure what's more unappealing. your personality or the way you always seem to reek of a three day old hangover."

"not true. your father said i smelled lovely when i was sandwiched between him and your mother last night."

"i'll make sure to ask them about it when we're all having lunch," she stands with her back against the oven, now facing him. "maybe we can get the whole extended family's input?"

harry shakes his head and sighs. he leans against the breakfast bar, slouching over counter a bit. "i thought we were going to be more civil with each other, lynn,"

"you think fucking my best friend was going to have me kissing the ground you walk on?"

"how was i supposed to know you didn't tell her?" his arms are crossed in front of him. "you have silas all over you like a goddamn blanket and you expect jackie to think you're in love with me? come on, lynn."

"that's right, harry. blame everyone but yourself," she moves so she's opposite harry, palms smacking the granite counter. "have you been drinking?"

"yes?"

her eyes narrow. "you know, i'm starting to think your grandma was onto something when she stopped speaking to you."

harry sucks in a breath and he feels like the wind's been knocked out of him. he's drunk and there's tears pooling in his eyes, but he can't look away from her. lynn's staring at him with the coldest stare. like she meant every word she said.

"go fuck yourself, lynn." he flicks her off and turns on the balls of his feet, walking back out the sliding glass door. regret comes seeping over him because god, did he want to go home. he really shouldn't have had that much to drink.

he decides on going to sit in his car. he'd sober up and then goes to his parents. listening to a lecture from his dad would surely be better than sitting here and having to act like he wants to be anywhere near lynn. he was so incredibly stupid for thinking that a pointless car drive and a cup of tea was going to change anything about the relationship they had already established.

harry was so good at pretending to be someone he wasn't. he always tried to come off as someone who was always calm and kept himself together. he was confident in just the right ways, and everyone he met loved him. or at least what they saw of him.

there were plenty of people on campus who would say hi to him if they had passed each other in a hallway. they were friendly, not friends. and that was the perfect way to put it. he held everyone he met at an arm's length away.

harry spent years perfecting this stupid act he put on for nearly everyone he met, so he doesn't really understand why lynn seems to be the only person in the world that doesn't fall for it.

"harry!" he looks over to see jane sitting on the raft in a pool, a juice box in one hand and a popsicle in the other. "come push me around."

harry walks over to the edge of the pool, crouching down to be eye level with her. "well, aren't you bossy?"

she laughs and kicks her feet and it's so contagious, he can't help but smile. he doesn't realize the girls' grandmother is with them until she speaks from one of the lounge chairs, her face hiding behind a magazine.

"takes after her sister. that's why she has no friends."

harry's heart jumps in his throat when he sees the little girl start blinking rapidly through her pink flamingo sunglasses. so, he does the only logical thing he can think of, and gets in the pool with his tshirt on and sunglasses in his hair.

when he comes up, jane's peering over the arm of the floatie with a smile that's so big, harry decides he can look past the wet cotton sticking to his skin. "alright, sunflower. tell me where you want to go."

"sunflower? i'm not sunflower! i'm jane!"

"but, you're always so bright and happy, janey," harry laughs. "like a sunflower."

"mmm, okay," and then she offers him a bite of her popsicle which he would have declined in any other situation, but he did not want to see the little girl cry today.

he pushes jane around the pool like he's her personal servant for what feels like forever. she loved asking to go in to the deep end where harry could barely touch. the water would go up to his ears and he'd act like standing on his tip-toes was the most strenuous activity ever. her laugh drowned out every huff and puff her grandmother made, and harry felt like he could finally breathe when she got up and went somewhere else after asking harry if he could watch the little girl.

"how long can you stay under there?" jane says. "go under and i'll count."

and so harry does, and when he comes up, jane's at twenty seven and lynn's standing over him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"are you fucking kidding me?" her voice is quiet yet there's so much anger in every word she says. harry doesn't even know what he's done wrong. "you're embarrassing me. get some dry clothes on and act like the grown adult you are."

"lynn, i-"

she leaves before he can even ask what's going on, and when he turns around jane's looking at him with big eyes and her hands clasped together under her chin. "can we please play mermaids, harry?"

"of course, sunflower."

peter comes to collect jane later. it was time to eat and he had made her a plate. he offers to make harry one, too, for keeping jane busy while "the adults had fun" (as if he wasn't an adult himself). harry politely declines, and instead takes a seat in a lounge chair, wanting to do nothing more than to dry off.

and to also end whatever the fuck this thing he was doing with lynn had turned in to. they were supposed to be in a fake relationship in order to help stop their borderline insane mothers from meddling in their love lives and instead, harry was surrounded by fifty people he didn't know while lynn was god knows where. probably inside somewhere with silas's hands all over her.

it didn't make sense. why would she even bother to invite harry here when she all planned on doing was staying as far away from him as she could while leaving him to fend for himself. he knew five people here if you included her sisters and her grandmother that he had met briefly at the pool. he didn't even know her name yet he would go as far as to say he hated her for what she said around jane.

"hey, man," silas is sitting at the end of his lounge chair. he's got a pile of neatly folded clothes in his hand that he's holding out for harry. "i've got a change of clothes for you and dinner's ready if you're interested."

harry holds up his hand. "thanks, but i think i'll actually be going. you can tell lynn that this is done."

"listen," silas clears his throat. "lynn is my best friend, and i love her, but she was wrong for not telling you that jackie didn't know."

"you don't have to try to side with me or try to be my friend, silas," harry blinks. "or whatever you're trying to do really. i'm okay with you pretending i don't exist. just like lynn does."

"i'm not going to pretend you don't exist, harry. you two can talk when she wakes up from her nap." silas reaches out with the clothes again, and harry takes them. "meet me in the kitchen when you're ready. i got this new beer from the brewery in town you should try."

silas leaves and harry sits there for a second because what the fuck just happened? he half expected silas to rip his head off and call him a few nasty names before kicking him out of the party, and the other half thought the guy was just going to punch him in the face.

harry debates on calling it a night and going to his apartment instead, but a drink would be nice, especially if it was on silas's dime. so he changes in the bathroom and then meets silas in the kitchen where he has a two plates made and set in front of two cans of some kind of cherry pie cider on the breakfast bar.

"wow, silas," harry says. "are you wining and dining me?"

the guy laughs, face buried in the refrigerator. when he turns around, his arms are full of different condiments and he closes the door with his foot. "these stupid parties used to be so overwhelming for me. i used to always eat in here alone, just so i could have some peace and quiet."

"why are you doing this?" they're sitting next to each other now. silas stops eating, and wipes his mouth with a napkin before turning to harry.

"because you remind me of myself, and i know how hard these things were for me when lynn first started inviting me."

"It's..." harry doesn't really know how to explain how he's feeling, so he turns his attention to the pasta salad that was probably a hundred times better than the one sitting on his kitchen counter right now. "i don't know."

"a lot?"

harry nods. "i just don't think i'm a very social person."

"cheers to that," silas raises his can. "just because you and lynn aren't really together doesn't mean you should feel uncomfortable here." harry thinks if he responds, he'll end up crying. so he doesn't. instead he pushes his food around on the plate, appetite gone.

"pete asked me to start a fire afterwards if you wouldn't mind helping." silas continues, and harry nods.

when they're finished, the two boys go outside with a new cider in hand to where the fire pit was and start the fire that lynn's father had asked for. really, harry started it while silas sat and watched. he didn't mind though, harry was in eagle scouts growing up and building fires was probably the only thing he was good at.

when the sun begins to set, lynn's family moves few by few from the patio and pool area to sit around the fire. silas introduces harry to some of lynn's extended family members, and he starts talking to her aunt cece. she introduces him to her wife like it was nothing. and really, it shouldn't have been a big deal or anything. harry was just used to the judgmental stares and comments made by his family. it never really crossed his mind that entire families could be so accepting.

when his grandmother found out he was dating a boy, she refused to come to any family function he was at. the same with his aunt, uncle, and cousins. the two didn't want their kids around someone like harry.

jane squeezes between the two to sit next to harry on the bench, and she rests her head against his arm. kathleen's sitting across from them, and a few minutes later lynn (and silas of course) sit next to her.

"it seems like you've made a friend," kathy says.

"best friend," jane corrects. she sits up and smacks her hands on her lap. "nana said i didn't have any friends."

"what?" lynn's voice comes from across the fire. "when did she say that?"

"at the pool," jane's grinning. "but i know she was just joking with me. harry said he was my best friend when we were playing mermaids.

harry feels his face warm at her confession. "and i meant it, janey."

the little girl smiles at him in a way that makes it impossible not to smile back.

"we need to have a best friend tea party on saturday. with lots of sunflowers." she says, and then she sighs. "mom you said i could have chocolate if i ate all of my salad and i did."

the way her train of thought changes so quickly makes harry laugh.

i'll get you some, jane," lynn stands up from her spot and harry's quick to do the same and say he'll join her.

"lynn," he calls her name once they get inside. she's a few steps ahead of him and makes no move to answer.

"lynn," he tries again. "can we talk, please?"

she turns to look at him when they're both in the pantry. "there's nothing to talk about, harry." she bends down to get something on the bottom shelf, ignoring him once again.

"there is," he says. "because i don't want to do this anymore."

she tilts her head. "do what?"

"this," his hand is moving between them. "whatever this is. us. i can't do this anymore."

she rolls her eyes at this. "you can only pretend when it benefits you. got it."

"that's not-" his voice breaks, and he's been trying so hard to hold in everything all day. it all just feels too much, and he shamelessly wipes the tears as they fall. "do you not hear the way you talk to me? why am i always in the wrong?"

"sleeping with my friend and being so drunk you're swimming around in your clothes doesn't seem wrong to you?" she faces him with her arms crossed in front of her.

"what? that's not what happened."

"right," she rolls her eyes again and goes back to collecting what she needs. "this act is pathetic by the way."

harry doesn't understand how they even got to this point. he was hoping they'd have a little break up. he'd go back outside and say goodbye to jane, and maybe silas because being around him wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, and then he'd go home.

she turns her attention back to whatever she's been trying to reach for the last few minutes. harry's eyes follow her hand to see a box of graham crackers pushed all the way to the back of the shelf before reaching up to push them into her reach. he wasn't much taller than her but the extra few inches helped.

"your grandmother said jane was annoying and bossy," he feels his throat burn as he speaks and decides to leave out the part where she said that she was just like her sister. "i saw her face when she heard it, and i panicked. i didn't want her to think about it for another second, so i jumped in."

it's so quiet, harry can hear the way lynn swallows at his words. she says nothing though, so he decides to keep going. "you know that one phrase someone said to you, and maybe they didn't mean it, but it still sits in your head? i didn't want that to be hers. i'm sorry for embarrassing you, lynn."

"it hit a little too close to home for you, yeah?" lynn says, realization written all over her face.

"the hurt that comes with hearing someone you admire and love so much say those things about you..." fresh, hot tears are sliding down his face. "i'm trying really hard not to be mad at you because maybe you don't get it, but what you said earlier-"

"i know. it was horrible," she drops the smores ingredients on the floor so she can wrap her arms around him. "god, i'm horrible."

"did you mean it? what you said?"

"when we were in the car, yes," she pulls back so she's looking at him. her hands are still clasped behind him, fingers gently brushing against the nape of his neck. "i meant every word i said that night. but today, you brought jackie, and i didn't want her here. the things she said, and the fact that you two were sleeping with each other...i took it out on you when i shouldn't have. im sorry."

"i didn't know that she thought-" harry doesn't really know why he's sobbing so hard, but he can't stop. the rest of his sentence is stuck in his throat.

"i know," her hand cradles the back of harry's head, softly guiding his face into her shoulder. "i am so, so sorry."

they stand in the pantry for a little while. harry's face is pressed against her neck, and her hands are rubbing his back. she's gently rocking them side to side and harry feels a little sick for letting himself melt into her so easily. he's crying because of her, yet part of him knows he'd let lynn make him feel the way she did today a hundred times over if it meant she'd hold him so close that he could smell the vanilla on her skin.

"what i told you that night, it's not something i usually share," he says, voice a little scratchy. "i really don't want it brought up ever again."

"it won't be. i promise."

harry steps back, palms pressed to his eyes. "i'm sorry for crying this much. i just need a second."

"you have no reason to apologize," lynn's bending down to pick up the items she dropped. "i really am so sorry, harry."

"i know you are. it's okay," harry takes a deep breath and then grabs the chocolate bars from her, holding them in the air. "i think we've kept jane waiting long enough." he reaches for lynn's hand before opening the pantry door for the two. when they step out, peter's standing in the kitchen, staring at them. he's got a beer in his hand, and harry can tell by the way his eyes are glassed over that he wasn't really tuned in on their conversation.

lynn doesn't even acknowledge her father's presence. instead, she wraps herself around harry's arm and pulls him outside with her.

he roasts jane's marshmallow with lynn sitting on his knees, and after hearing harry say he likes his burnt, she decides that she does, too. which makes everything easier for harry and everything harder for silas who took on the chore of building the actual s'more.

when they're finished, lynn leans back against harry's chest, voice soft, "do you think we could be okay, or is tonight it for us?"

he looks over to see jane sitting on silas's lap, her hands and now silas's shirt covered in sticky marshmallow and decides that he could tolerate lynn's mood swings if it meant getting to experience this kind of normalcy again. honestly, today wasn't really normal. it was messy and chaotic and everything that comes with having a family this big, but harry misses the crazy family reunions and loud birthday dinners that came with his own family and maybe holiday picnics like this could fill that void.

"i think we could be okay again," the intensity of his voice matches her, and he can feel her relax into him when he speaks.

the group moves to the park where lynn and harry first met to watch the fireworks put on by the neighborhood. halfway there, jane starts whining about her legs hurting and that's how harry ends up with her on his shoulders.

marianne and john are there when they get there, and they're sitting on a blanket and talking to gemma and drew. harry can't remember the last time his parents came to the event, and he can't help but wonder if that was because they just never invited him.

amelia joins them, too, leaving her group of friends. she takes jane from harry, and silas follows them, leaving only harry and lynn to share the blanket she had brought.

when the fireworks start, she's sitting next to harry with her head on his shoulder and her arm wrapped around his. her fingers are brushing against his knuckles, and when she leans back to look at harry to see if he's enjoying it, he's already looking at her.

his free hand reaches for her face before he dips his head down and kisses her. if she were to ask about it later, harry would say it was because both of their families were around. not because he wanted to.

(he kind of did.)

22 JULY 2018

growing up, summer was harry's favorite season. summer meant longer days full of warm sunshine. it meant spending the weekdays at his nana's house, sitting poolside and eating the delicious homemade ice cream she made for him and gemma. her two favorite grandchildren, she used to say. he spent saturday mornings at soccer practice and afternoons at oliver's house where he'd stay until sunday evenings. his mom always picked him up with a hot meal ready for the jones family.

as he grew older, saturday morning soccer practice turned into rehearsing lines over breakfast with oliver. he'd driver them both to the boy's house (or occasionally his) friday after school and they'd leave together the following monday morning where they'd stop at the small coffee shop across town to get oliver his favorite coffee. really, harry hated coffee, but a hazelnut latte made by nora always made oli smile. and he loved seeing him smile.

maybe that's why weekends spent together went from playing video games in his parent's basement and sleeping on old recliners to sleeping in the boy's bed with his face buried in harry's neck, his lips pressing soft kisses on his shoulders.

so, by the time harry was a teenager, he not only loved summers, but he also loved the boy that he swore hung the stars in the sky and painted the grass green.

his favorite were the lazy afternoons they'd spend in his bed. the sun would peek through the blinds warming their skin, and oliver would mumble something about how they really needed to wake up before pulling harry closer and closing his eyes again. they'd wake up when his mom would come home from work, and they'd meet her downstairs. she always stood in the kitchen, standing over the stove and wearing a smile that was warmer than the sun outside.

harry practically spent his sophomore and junior year living at the jones's house. that family made him feel seen and safe and loved and so many other things, but not a single one of them was bad. his parents were so incredibly supportive of not only oliver, but harry, too. they always sat center of every single play he was in, regardless if oliver was in it or not.

his mom used to take the sweetest, most love-filled candids of the boys (some of which harry still had saved on his phone in a hidden album), and his dad even got him him first ever job working at his landscaping company. the jones's opened their home and their hearts for him in a way that harry would be forever grateful for for the rest of his life.

sometimes he thinks about reaching out to them, and offering the sincerest of thank you's. but every time his finger hovers over the send button, he decides against it, remembering the way the two looked at him the last time he saw them.

they had picked him up from his first ever party after he called them absolutely obliterated, even though it was in the middle of the night, and even though harry had broken their son's heart a week prior.

he cried in the backseat on the way back to his parent's house. he doesn't know how many times he said he was sorry, but mrs. jones looked over her shoulder at one point, saying, "we are, too, harry."

so, now, harry hates summer and it's long days and short nights. each excruciating minute of daylight that passes is usually spent with nothing but his thoughts and the cheapest bottle of hard liquor he could find.

harry had created the perfect routine.

4PM: wake up

4:05PM: get drunk

9:30PM: make an appearance at a party

3:00AM: contemplate his existence

3:03AM: spiral

3:05AM: go to sleep

the familiarity of it all was almost comforting.

however, all good things come to an end because at 1:20PM on this sunny sunday afternoon, harry was crouched next to an overflowing trash can, watching jane look for him from across the park. the sun was beating on his black t-shirt, burning the skin of his back, and he could feel the sweat droplets already forming on his neck.

the park was packed with kids. most of them were still dressed in their sunday best with a pair of ratty old tennis shoes on their feet, and he guessed it was the after church rush. they were loud and obnoxious, but watching the grin grow on janey's face as they made eye contact made every second spent here worth it.

a month ago, harry would have rather killed himself than be at a place like this, especially on a weekend. he hated the heat, he hated the noise, and most importantly, he hated kids. well most kids, with jane and amelia now being the only exceptions.

when he first met them, he thought that he would have to sit next to the two at an occasional family dinner and maybe laugh at a few of jane's unfunny jokes. and really, that was how it started, but it wasn't soon after that harry began to realize that lynn's parents weren't really as present as they seemed to be.

after jane's first dance recital, it was only ever lynn and harry in the crowd. she never invited him to family dinners, and she was often late to his own, usually meeting at his parents house after having dropped her sisters off at their house. when gemma had asked if they wanted to grab a drink with her and andy, lynn couldn't because her sisters were sleeping over and she couldn't be out late, and when she did make it to a lunch (which was during gemma's short lunch break), it was only because amelia agreed to watch jane for the hour.

both of the girls had their own drawer full of clothes at lynn's place, and there was three sets of shampoos and body washes in her shower accompanied by three loofahs hanging on their own hooks. she had a carseat for jane in her car and an old booster seat hidden in the top of one of her closets which harry guesses to be amelia's from years ago.

he felt bad that all of these responsibilities were dumped on lynn, and he felt even worse for jane and amelia. harry decided that he could sit through a few barbie movies and color a few pages in a coloring book if it meant lynn could have a break, and jane wasn't left to entertain herself.

the little girl ran towards him, giggles falling from her mouth as she did. jane leapt towards him when she was close enough, her arms clinging around his neck and her feet around his waist, "found you."

"you did," harry's fingers tickled her sides. "let's go get that ice cream i promised you."

lynn went into the bakery today, and harry had so graciously offered to relieve her of her babysitting duties. really, he owed her big time. lynn had went to check on harry after he had intentionally been ignoring her for a few days, and she unfortunately walked in on him and some girl from the bar.

if that wasn't embarrassing enough, harry cried as soon as her saw her standing in the doorway with her face in her hands. he still blames what happened next on the liquor, but he didn't really remember much of that night (like who the girl was, when she left, how he got dressed, and why lynn was sitting on the edge of his bed). the feeling came bubbling up in his throat so quickly. he felt almost frozen, and ended up throwing up all over his bed and all over lynn.

that only made him cry harder. it was the kind of sob that dug deep into your chest and came back up feeling like it was ripping you apart from the inside out.

lynn showered first, and harry sat against the bathroom door, offering thousands of drunken apologies and also a pair of his most comfortable sweatpants and an old tshirt that was so worn it felt silky. they didn't speak at all after that, but after harry's shower, he was greeted by a freshly made bed and the faint sound of his washing machine running.

lynn was under the covers of his bed and harry could see the blush pink sheets bunched around her waist. she set her phone down when she saw him, and patted the spot next to her. "i was coming back from doing laundry at my parents, and i didn't know where you kept your spares."

he could only muster up enough strength to nod before collapsing into bed next to her. she was looking down at him, and he felt like she was looking down on him, too. he cried some more.

harry expected lynn to leave, but instead she rolled on to her side to face harry. she rested her hand on his cheek, her thumb wiping away any and all tears of his that fell. she smelled like him and his bed smelled like her and everything was not enough yet so much at once. he was absolutely exhausted. so, harry let his eyes close and fell asleep to lynn caressing his face with her fingers softly running against the back of his neck like they often did. it all seemed a little too intimate, but when harry woke up, lynn was gone, and the two hadn't spoken since. she never texted or called and harry was too embarrassed to be the one to do it first.

"i want the green ice cream like you," jane says. she's sat on his hip watching the worker scoop out his double scoop of mint chip.

"you don't like mint," she scowls at him. "how about you get the chocolate chip? that way we're still matching with the chocolate pieces."

"hmmmmm," jane taps her finger on her chin like she's in deep thought just like lynn does when she thinks. "i guess so."

harry hands jane her ice cream, and moves to the counter to pay. lynn's bakery was just around the corner, and he knew that she would be joining them when she was finished so they could go back to his apartment for her car, so he orders a third ice cream for her (chocolate with rainbow sprinkles). she had ordered it the day he had met her family at jane's dance recital, and he figured it was something she liked.

"you were right," she talks with her mouth full of ice cream, and it makes harry's skin crawl.

"about what, sunflower?"

"this is good," harry can feel her feet kicking under the table. he wishes he could be that young again, where his biggest worry would be wondering if he would like chocolate chips and vanilla ice cream together.

he sees lynn walking through the door over jane's head. she's got a finger pressed to her lips and harry can tell she's walking on her tip toes. she walks slowly all the way up to their table, and wraps her arms around jane from behind.

"hi baby," she kisses the top of jane's head before moving over to harry and doing the exact same thing to him. "and my other baby."

her arms are warm against his skin, and he can feel her lips in his hair before she moves across from him and takes a seat next to jane.

her hair's pulled away from her face, and she has flour dusting her (harry's) sweatshirt. she smells like strawberries and her usual warm vanilla, and when she sees the third bowl of ice cream on the table, she looks at him with a smile warmer than her skin sitting on her lips.

"how was work?" harry asks. he pushes the chocolate ice cream towards her, and she scrapes the sprinkles off and into jane's bowl.

"it was so good," she says. "i had quite a few orders to catch up on."

she speaks so slowly. the words are falling off of her tongue like they're honey and she's leaning all the way against the wall, like the weight of her was just too much for her hold up for a second longer. harry doesn't think he's ever seen her so relaxed.

"mom's coming to get you, jane," lynn speaks around a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"can't i just stay with you?" jane's folding her hands together in front of her face. she's looking up at lynn with big eyes and her bottom lip pushed out. "please?"

"no, i'm spending time with harry tonight," harry expects jane to ask again, but she just sighs, turning her attention back to her ice cream.

kathleen comes a few minutes later. she's dressed in a freshly pressed business suit, and she walks in on what seemed like an important phone call. she only mutes it for a second, just long enough to ask harry where he planned on taking lynn to dinner tonight.

"i'm cooking," harry says. really, he could not recall a single plan they had made, and he can't tell if there was actually something they were supposed to do.

"oh, she'll love that," kathleen deadpans, almost like lynn's talked bad about his cooking before, and then she leaves. no thank you to harry, and no thank you to lynn, who spent more time with her children than she did.

"classic kathy," lynn stretches her arms above her head, and yawns. "thank you for watching her, and for the ice cream... and for letting me have some of yours, too."

harry smiles, and then, he really can't help himself, "you spend more time with jane and amelia than she does."

"and that's why i've kept you around," she says. "you don't know how many times i've gotten out of babysitting by saying you had something planned for us."

"and here i thought you liked having me around, lynn," she gives him one of those warm smiles again. one so bright that harry can't help but to smile back. "do you want dinner? we can get takeout on the way to mine."

"okay," lynn replies. "my treat."

and really, who was harry to argue with that?

✮✮✮

lynn sat on harry's couch, her feet tucked underneath her. she had a container of lo mein in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other, and her eyes were focused on the tv where harry was scrolling through the netflix recommended tab for what felt like the hundredth time.

"are you on something?" harry's voice comes from the other side of the couch. his eyes are glued on the tv screen as he speaks, finally settling on some new release that lynn hasnt even heard of.

"what?" she raises her eyebrows. "what makes you think that?"

"you seem so relaxed," he shoves a spoonful of rice into his mouth, and the way he holds the spoon is so childlike, lynn can't help but laugh. "what?"

she shakes her head. normally, she'd love to make a little dig at harry, but after what happened the last time she was over, she didn't know just how far she could push him. "i like my job, harry. that's all."

and it was true. she loves her job, especially the long days she gets to spend in the bakery with the lights so dim she could barely make out the order sheets that were left behind by her staff. they all worked so hard, and made lynn's life a hundred times easier. the least she could do (besides paying them a decent salary) was go in to play catch up while they all got to enjoy a day off.

lynn technically started her business when she was a child. she had seen one of those 'tasty time' episodes on disney and was a little more than inspired. summer days were spent perfecting her recipes with elena. the woman would write down the recipes inside composition notebooks with glitter pens as they went. sometimes they got it right the first time, and other times they had to break out elena's stash of white out.

out of the fifteen notebooks they managed to fill in their time together, lynn used just a few of those recipes today. six to be exact, and they were sold both individually and in a pack which was named 'the base-ics'. the flavors were pretty simple, and they were the base of everything that she, with the help of elena, had created today.

whenever she thinks about elena, there's a deep ache that makes its way inside of her chest and then down to the pit of her stomach. lynn doesn't think there's a single person in the world that she'll love more than she loved elena. the woman practically raised her, and then once amelia turned two, elena never came back and kathleen left lynn to fill the au pair's shoes.

harry finishes his take out container of rice first, but he waits for lynn to finish hers before taking everything to the kitchen and returning back with two mugs in his hands.

"tea?"

"sure, thank you," lynn takes the cup from him and then stretches her legs all the way across the couch. it was meant to annoy harry for no other reason than her own enjoyment, but he doesn't seem to mind. instead, he sits on the floor, his back leaning against the bottom part of the couch. when the episode ends, harry leans back so his head is on the cushion, and he's looking at lynn. "do we have to talk about it?"

and by the way he's looking at her, she knows exactly what he's talking about. the night she spent in his clothes and in his bed.

she'll admit that his lack of responses did worry her a little bit, but after her seventeenth text (she counted), the no replies made her more furious than anything. she went over to his apartment after the most grueling dinner with kathy and peter, and was intending on absolutely ripping his head off because she had showed up for everything he had asked her to, and he couldn't even give a text back.

"not if you don't want to," her fingers brush his hair away from his face, and she can feel the air from his sigh of relief on her skin. "you should've told me that you don't have a guest room, harry. i didn't know i was kicking you out of your bed every time i stayed over."

pink floods his cheeks so quickly that lynn can feel the heat radiating off of them. "i don't mind."

"you should," she says. "where do you sleep when i'm here?"

"i keep a few extra pillows and blankets in the closet of the office," he clears his throat. "usually on the couch or the office floor."

"you deserve your bed. next time i'm over i'll take the floor."

silence falls over them, but harry's still looking at her in a way that she can't really read. it feels like it's been forever since she's gotten to take harry in like this. his hair was messy and still a little damp from the shower he had taken before they ate. his skin was tanner than when she first met him, the green of his eyes seemed brighter, and his lips looked softer, but maybe that was because she knew how they felt pressed against her own.

"take a picture," he smiles one of those lopsided smiles. "it'll last longer."

and she doesn't really know what possesses her to, but she does before turning her phone around for harry to see. "it's cute. i think i'll keep it."

harry hums and closes his eyes, and lynn can't help it when she involuntarily reaches out and lets the back of her hand brush across his cheek. she still thinks about what she said to him at her fourth of july party and the way he cried that night when she can't sleep. she never wants to make him feel like that ever again.

"can you do dinner with my parents tomorrow? my mom's been asking about you," he speaks with his eyes close and presses his lips to the back of lynn's hand before sitting up.

"i can't," she says. "that's what i was calling you about. we're going on vacation for jane's birthday. she wanted you to come."

"when?" his whole body is turned to her now. "god, lynn. i'm sorry."

"don't be, really. we're leaving tomorrow so it's really not-."

harry stands up and disappears into what lynn had once thought was the guest room, and comes back out with his laptop. he picks up her feet and sits down before letting them rest on his knees.

"here," he turns his laptop towards her with the page for google flights pulled up. "put in all the dates and everything."

and so she does, and nearly winces at the big, green '$803' that pops up on the screen. "harry, that's crazy. we can get a cupcake or something when we're back."

"it's okay if i book this? there's room for me still?"

"there's room, but-" lynn's cut off by the sound of the mouse clicking and harry closing his laptop.

"daddy's money," harry says. "he'll be fine."

"another reason for him to hate me."

"he doesn't hate you, lynn," his voice is unconvincing, and he's already changing the subject before she can press further. "where are we even going?"

"flying into miami and then we have to drive. just a typical beach vacation."

he nods. "okay. send me a bill for whatever i owe you. i'll venmo or zelle or whatever-"

"no need," lynn interrupts him. "mommy's money."

lynn sits on harry's bed next to his open suitcase while he brings out stacks upon stacks of clothing, not really knowing what he should pack. it was a little comical to see him run around, stressing over what to wear as if peter and kathleen really cared. when he found out her aunt cece was coming too, he dumped all of the contents out of the suitcase and restarted, claiming that he needed to impress her and that straight people wouldn't understand.

when he's in his closet, lynn slips a few tshirts and a pair of swim trunks that harry had decided to leave behind in a pile on his dresser. she'll admit, mick jagger comments aside, harry was a good dresser, great even. he was packing all of these button ups and shorts and jeans, and she just wanted him to have some more comfy options if ended up wanting them.

(and also she kind of wanted to see him in the bright yellow swim shorts.)

it's nearing midnight when she finally leaves. harry walks her to the door, and when they open it, jackie's coming up the staircase. lynn does the only logical thing she can think of and kisses harry. he seems a little surprised, but once he realizes what lynn's doing, he leans into her more so they're stepping out into the hallway and sucks on her mouth in a way that has some pretty obscene sounds coming from the two of them. he kisses her with one arm wrapped around her waist and his other hand holding her face. lynn tries her best to not think about the way he whines into her mouth after every suck or just how good his mouth feels against her.

they break apart when jackie's door slams shut, and harry presses his lips softly against the corner of her mouth twice before letting her go.

"i'm sorry," she watches as he wipes the wetness off of his lips with his tonguge. "that was.. i shouldn't have."

"i kind of owed you anyways. from the other night," his face glows pink at the thought of it. "plus we should probably kiss more anyways. we're supposed to be comfortable with each other right?"

"yeah, yeah," she nods. "you're right."

"can't have you looking all rigid every time i try to hold your hand on vacation," a teasing smile makes it's way to his lips. "i'll see you tomorrow, lynn."

"goodnight, harry," she hears him close the door when she steps into the elevator, and as soon as the doors shut she feels her heartbeat speed up.

✰✰✰

a/n: i literally have nooo idea how i forgot to post the 22 !!!! i feel like so many other parts allude to this one too

[bcolfanfic]

not to be terrible but if you had more wyatt nash whump thoughts…i’d read them…js…

was mid typing a super long response to this and my phone died and i lost it all…grieving…

that to say yes ugha you’re inside my brain anon bc it’s what i’ve been writing in my head while laying in bed with chest pains. **self harm mention under the read more line but no mention of methods

oh wyatt ): was thinking about when he’s back in ny after living with the bucks/micah falls apart so he has to go back home. back home to the house he hasn’t been in since he was fighting with ev and walked out the door. and got about 72 hours on the run before he got into that horrible man’s truck and he was gone for ten months.

poor wy has an incredibly hard time when he’s home for that reason and all the little ones that come with it. backslides mentally and physically, which isn’t aided by it taking some time for them to set up a care team for him in new york on such short notice. was just beginning to trust his therapist in wyoming but state licensing means he has to get a new one now. playing phone tag over all that exhausts ev and helen to the extent that they enlist benny and jamie to help them out with it when they’re over bc of ollie being with sawyer.

the one good thing though? wyatt realizes how much he missed his dad. the bucks were good to him, but they weren’t his dad. couldn’t love him the way ev loves him to death, and in the midst of all his backsliding he gets so attached to his dad. sweet bub ):

it breaks ev’s heart, puts it back together and breaks it again. when wyatt is really at rock bottom ev is essentially his full time caregiver on top of just being his dad which he wouldn’t trade for anything when it means wyatt is home. but it’s still hard on him. hard to be a present dad with the other kids, hard to be a present husband, hard to not blame himself for everything.

wyatt’s home, that’s what matters. he’s here, i can take care of him because he’s home. is what he repeats to himself ad nauseam. when he’s sleeping on his floor for the fifth day in a row, when he’s trying to talk him off the ledge of hours long panic freakouts, when he’s giving him medicine via a plastic syringe into the side of his cheek like he did when he was little bc he won’t take pills (drugging trauma) and no one has the heart to subject him to the needles that a home iv line would require.

when wyatt is really doing bad it devolves into him self harming. which crushes ev so badly it makes his chest hurt. worries himself sick about it, and makes himself feel ill with grief that his baby is hurting so much. his sweet baby that he can still see as two years old waiting on helen’s porch waiting for ev to come by when he got off work. his buddy that he can still see as the seven year old that followed him everywhere and begged him to color with him at the kitchen table.

just wishes he could fix everything a lot more easily. <\3

[little-miss-moonstone]

The Red Thread (Carmy x OC)

Chapter One| Book of the Year

next | series master list

summary: Rori moves back home to find out she’s been lied to.

WARNING: Gunshots, a bit of angst and anxiety, very little editing. i think that’s all, if you think something needs to be added just let me know:)

“A little more to the left,” Rori directed as Pete was hanging a portrait on her living room wall. She had been lucky enough to find a house not far from theirs and the couple was more than happy to help her move in. It had been a long weekend as they unpacked boxes and occasionally stopped when they found the photo album from their youth. Natalie was still sifting through a storage tub with photos and relics from the past.

“Oh my god. I didn’t know you had this,” Natalie gasped and Rori turned to look. “Carmy’s sketch book from high school.” A light blush crept across her cheeks. She hadn’t seen that book in years and she felt quite embarrassed that Natalie had found it.

“Oh, um, yeah. H- I- uh, you know Carmy’s very talented and when he packed up I just didn’t want it getting thrown out or anything so I took it for safekeeping,” she studdered. “I was really hoping Richie would’ve stopped by. You told him I moved back, didn’t you?” She changed the subject while fiddling with the end of one of her braids. Natalie began flipping through the pages trying to buy time for her response. She hadn’t told Richie, knowing he would insist that Carmy and Rori both know the truth, but then Natalie thought what harm would it do now. Rori wouldn’t just pick up and move again, not after all their hard work and the hours it took to find the right shade of navy blue for the accent wall. Surely she would find out at some point in the next 72 hours. Yeah, Chicago was big, but not big enough, especially when she knew the first place Rori would go is The Beef. As she flipped to the next page and found the drawing of Rori she smiled, first at her brother's talent, and then at how he was able to capture just how beautiful the girl was.

“No, I meant to the other day, but it just slipped my mind. Maybe you should stop by the restaurant. I’m sure everyone there would love to see you,” She suggested putting the sketch pad back into the bin. She knew she would get an ear full from Carmy and Rori either way, so she might as well delay it. Rori thought what she proposed was a great idea, but she would give herself a few more days to settle in.

Carmen was taking a smoke break scrolling through his phone while he sat on some pallets behind the restaurant. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just reading news headlines then scrolling to the next one.

AURORA CAVANI’S “THE RED THREAD” IS NEW YORK TIMES BOOK OF THE YEAR.

He clicked on the article before any other thought could go through his head, seeing the picture of her smiling holding the book caused the corners of his lips to slightly rise. He quickly read through the article to see all the praise she was getting and how the book would become a series. Though he hadn’t a clue what it was about, it was the only book of her’s he hadn’t read, and he was telling himself he didn’t have the time, but maybe it was also because Mikey said it was his favorite. He remembered his brother telling him the characters felt so familiar and how he was sure they could fit right in at christmas dinner. He pushed the thought from his head while finding her contact in his phone. “Congrats on book of the year” he typed out, his thumb hovering over the send button. He always did this, she would get some honor or award and he would type out a text that he would never send. He chuckled then deleted the message. He was so sure her life was much better without him in it, she didn’t need his bullshit dragging her down. He was back home trying to hold the restaurant together, he knew he was a mess, and she was doing good, living in some city, god-knows-where. Though, many times over the last few years he did miss her company, even if it was only phone calls, texts and random FaceTimes and he often wondered if she missed them too. He wanted to believe that she didn’t, but he truly couldn’t know. There was no way possible for him to know she did, she missed him so much it bled across every page she had ever written since the last time they spoke. No, he was clueless to the fact that she convinced herself it was all her fault, she should’ve kept her mouth shut on the phone that night. She had kept it shut so long, a lifetime couldn’t have hurt. That alternative had to be better than the reality she had been living without him at all. Carmen took one last long drag before flicking the cigarette to the ground and slowly exhaling before returning to the kitchen. The sound of Richie still harping over the bad date he had been on while everyone was manning their stations. There was now some-what of an order to the kitchen and he knew the progress would be slow but he was okay with that.

After stopping at the farmer market, just to look around, Rori knew she needed to go see Richie. The idea of actually stepping foot inside The Beef sent a shiver down her spine, she hadn’t been inside in two years. She found herself standing on the pavement just staring up at the run-down sign. It made her think of her childhood and Mikey… and Carmy. She took a deep breath reminding herself it would be okay, what she was feeling was the price of having loved, that is grief. She opened the door, not having time to look around as Richie was a few feet in front of her talking to a women she didn’t know.

“Holy shit,” He mumbled, he never thought he would see her step foot in Chicago again, much less the restaurant. “Red, what the fuck are you doing here? Don’t you have some fancy smancy award banquet or tea with the Queen? C’mere let me get a look at you. It's been too long, sweetheart.” He engulfed her in a hug.

“I actually just moved back, not too far from Sug. She thought it would be good after, you know,” she paused and Riching nodded in understanding, “it would just be good.” She finished.

“She’s here ya know, she’s just in the office going through some papers with—“ gunshots cut Richie off as they, along with the other women, duct down. After a moment, a familiar voice cut through the silence.

“Is everybody okay, yeah?”

A voice that Rori knew all too well, she was rooted in place, paralyzed with anxiety as his voice echoed in her mind. She thought back to the last time she had heard it three years ago. “It’s o-okay, uh, we- we can just- uh we can talk tomorrow.” Those were the last words he said before he hung up. They didn’t talk tomorrow, and all of her calls and text went unanswered for months before she decided she couldn’t take the rejection any longer. He was now in sight and the moment he saw her his breath hitched and he was standing just as still as she was. She studied his face, his eyes still the bright blue she remembered, but they looked tired and his untameable curls were still just that. She could feel his gaze and wondered if he was doing the same thing. He was, taking in her eyes, they were like emeralds staring back at him. Her hair was still as red as cayenne peppers, but he noticed the gold hoop on the left side of her nose, that was new, well at least to him. She had a few more tattoo’s, but so did he.

“Fuckin’ motherfuckers,” Richie cursed storming to the door, then outside to inspect and they were both drawn from the trance they had put eachother in.

“Uh- h-hi i-i didn’t know you were home, Sugar told me you were still in New York,” Rori spoke first, eyes darting at Natalie as she came into view.

“Is that right?” Carmen was now looking at his sister, “I, uh, moved back a couple of months ago to run this place.”

“Oh, yeah. So we’re lying now, Sug? Is that what we’re doing?” Rori laughed and although it was sarcastic, it was still a beautiful noise to Carmy’s ears.

Natalie quickly suggested that she and Rori go talk outback, dragging the girl through the kitchen before any more words could be said.

“That was Aurora fucking Cavani,” Sydney smiled, “You know her? She’s like a modern day shakespeare. How-“

“We grew up together.” He cut her off, “Now, if everyone is okay, let’s get back to work.”

The two girl could be heard yelling in the alley, their voices were muffled, but you could clearly tell an argument was happening.

“I thought she’d be happier to see you, Cousin,”Richie chuckled.

Carmen ignored his words, focusing on the task in front of him, but a part of him had hoped that if they had ever seen each other again she would be happy to see him. Realistically, he knew he had ruined any chance of that years ago and honestly expected her to slap him across his face, god knew he deserved it. His eyes wandered across to where she dropped her tote bag, the bullet hole causing him to stop what he was doing and slowly walk over to it.

“Ffffffuuck,” He exasperated, “Yo, Cousin, c’mere.”

When Richie walked over and saw what Carmy saw his face held the same expression, utter disbelief. He knew it was rude to go through a women’s bag, but he had to know where the bullet went. He slowly pulled out a hardback copy of her book, “The Red Thread”. The bullet was lodged into the cover plus a few of the first pages.

“Could you imagine if this wasn't there?” Richie asked.

“No. I couldn’t.” He sighed running a hand through his hair.

He knew in that moment he had to fix the mess he made all those years ago. The thought of something happening before he could make amends sent a shiver down his spine, he did that with Mikey, he couldn’t do that with her. The sounds of Rori and Sug arguing were beginning to die down and he was clueless as to what he was going to do. She had nearly bitten his sister’s head off for not telling her he had moved back home, but the damaged book was a reminder: Don’t wait until it’s too late.

a/n: And here it is!!! I hope to write another chapter soon. Don’t expect a regular upload schedule. My aim is for one update a week but it’ll just be random and chaotic. please please please tell me what you think and i’m wishing you all the best in 2024:)

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 85. brb x oc

a/n: * monke noises * AAAAAAAAAAAA yeah.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff,Bea misses Rooster and Rooster misses Bea, Bea is hearing ghost children ( or is she )

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

-

He was struggling to say the least, not with his job because he was very good at what he did, but he was struggling with Beatrice’s absence. He couldn’t use his phone for a few hours or days at a time, he knew she messaged him, he could see the red dot next to the icon but that’s been a few days ago and he just wanted to reply for God’s sake.

And Mav knew he was fidgety, not in the field, but as soon as he was on land Bradley’s fingers would twitch and near his hip bone only to remember he was wearing his flight suit and not his casual wear. Honestly, Pete found it hilarious - and very endearing - to see his nephew be so smitten for Beatrice. He didn’t feel his marriage premonition was wrong, he felt that Rooster was going to marry Beatrice soon and the only reason he didn’t yet was because he was deployed.

His nephew was painfully easy to read, just like his father was.

And Pete knew that Beatrice’s presence meant a lot to Bradley. So when Rooster was finally able to check his phone, he disappeared from his uncle’s view, undoubtedly going to the bunk to have some sort of privacy. Bradley closes the door behind himself, kicks his boots off and then lies on the small lower bunk while unlocking his phone.

His lips immediately curl into a smile when he saw her message, God he missed her so much, hard to think it’s been three weeks since he left. He tilted his head when he saw the folder she sent him, furrowing his eyebrows but tapping on it so it’d download as he typed a message back.

Roos’ (21:34)

Baby I miss you too! I’m downloading the folder you sent rn, I’m excited to see what it is ;) but fr, I miss you, I miss you a lot. How are you? How’s the house? Are you and Jojo okay? Tell me what you’ve been doing,gorgeous, I want to hear from you. I love you <3

It doesn’t take too long for the gray bubble to appear underneath his message, his smile widening as he gets comfortable on the bunk.

Bea (21:36)

Brad!!! Hi! Omg sorry I was finishing some stuff and I’m about to have lunch! I’m fine, Michael has been keeping me company these days, not often but he does stop by when he can and he also helped me set up a security camera! And a few more security thingies. I am doing some DIY in our kitchen :)! I think it’s looking fine and now I’m a bit of a DIY-rush because I wanna do more stuff! Lol, but yeah I’m fine, Jojo is fine too, she made friends with the doberman puppy across the street.

Roos’ (21:41)

Thank Michael for me because I was thinking about doing that before I left. I do feel a bit better knowing you are now extra safe and that he’s been staying over. 

Roos’ (21:42)

Damn, baby, i don’t know if it’s my phone’s data or something but it’s taking a while to download whatever it is that you sent me.

Bea (21:44)

Oh well it’s a few things inside, so that’s why. But let me know when it finishes!

There was just a tiny bit of the blue bar left to be filled, one he kept his eyes on until it reached the end. Once the ‘download completed!’ popped up he let her know it was done and he’d finally see what it was. Maybe it was the pictures of her DIY projects that she was so excited about and wanted to share, or maybe Jolene with her new friend, but his mind went completely blank when he opened the gallery.

Rooster’s eyes moved to each picture, his jaw going slack and he had to adjust himself on the bunk bed to have a better look. It was Beatrice, it was her photo shoot. He inhales sharply, looking back at the door then his phone, trying to make sure no one would bother him right now because he needed time to recover. He knew she’d look good, he knew she’d be amazing but he had no idea that the photos were like that.

Yes, most of them were swimwear pictures, something he was expecting but not mentally ready for. She looks so sexy. And the poses complimented her body even more and there was one taken from above that showed her back and butt and why was he miles away from her for six months???

He swiped through every picture, his lips parting even more as the others came into view, his throat vibrating in a quiet moan, “Fucking Christ…” he mutters, unsure which ones he liked best. The ones with the black swimsuit were fucking great too and- wait a minute, Beatrice said that Marcus gave her the clothes she wore as a gift so she had those somewhere in the house and he’d see her wearing them in the flesh.

Why, again, was he miles away from her??

But it wasn’t until the final picture that he finally allowed shock to take over. He squinted his eyes a bit, seeing it was a building and a smiling Beatrice was looking right at it and next to the building was– “No way.” he pinched the picture to zoom in more, “No fucking way.” it was Beatrice, his girlfriend, on a billboard poster looking like the goddess she is. The horniness from before dissipates for a bit, being replaced by the utmost pride when he sees it.

“My girlfriend is on a billboard.” he whispers, his lips curling into a smile, laughing breathily with his eyes locked on the picture. He couldn’t believe it, his girlfriend was the face of Marcus’ new collection!

Roos’ (22:05)

Bea, BEA THAT’S YOU!! THAT IS YOU ON A BILLBOARD!!

Bea (22:06)

YES IT IS!! ! IT’S ME! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??

Roos’ (22:09)

Baby! BABY YOU LOOK AMAZING IN ALL OF THESE BUT HOLY SHIT YOU ARE ON A BILLBOARD!! You LOOK SO GOOD!!

Bea (22:12)

Thank you Roos! <3 I had no idea Marcus would have a physical poster, I thought it’d be only online. I’m really happy about it though. Did you like it?:)

Roos’ (22:13)

Of course I did baby, of course I did. How can I not? It’s you. Damn, my girlfriend is the face of a clothing collection. I’m over the moon, I really am.

Bea (22:15)

And you liked the other pictures too?:3 <3

Roos’ (22:18)

You know I did. You look so fucking hot, Bea. Honest to God I will have a wonderful night of sleep because of these. Promise me you’ll show them all when I get back? 

Bea (22:22)

Of course Roos :), don’t worry about that.

Bradley smiles looking at his phone, his heart going wildly just at the thought of her dressing up for him. But his smile drops and he groans, rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers, sighing heavily through his nose, “Shit.”

Roos’ (22:31)

I’ll be honest, gorgeous,I miss you a lot, you know?I’ll be fine it’s just…I miss you. And I miss having you with me.

Bea (22:32)

:( I’m sorry Roos. I know that feeling because I miss you too…but pls don’t let that distract you, so you can come back sooner than planned, you know? I’ll be waiting for you and I can’t wait to see you. Counting the days.

Roos’ (22:34)

So am I gorgeous. We’ll talk again soon, okay? I gotta sleep right now. l love you.

Bea (22:35)

Okay! Sleep well Roos, I love you so much! Hope you have wonderful dreams. :3

Rooster chuckles at the last sentence, he didn't even have to hear it to know the teasing connotations his girlfriend was now learning to have whenever they spoke. He goes back to the gallery where he could once again see the pictures, he was going to show Mav and the others just this one because it was special.

And it just showed her face and he didn’t want people to see Beatrice’s pictures like that, they could see it in the official website if they wanted to but these are his own.

He places the phone away, running his fingers through his hair as he looks up at the top bunk. Maybe he should let Mav know what he plans to do, his godfather would love to be aware of it he was sure, and maybe…he could help him organize some things, he had an idea in mind that needed more than one person to work.

He was really serious about it. If he was asked this months before, hell maybe even years before he’d look at them as if they were crazy. But no, Beatrice changed a lot in him, to the better and he couldn’t imagine his life without her. Bradley adjusts himself on the bed, sighing yet again and then looking back at the phone where his background remained their dancing picture at her aunt’s wedding.

He really missed her and he hoped he could come back soon. There was nothing else that he wanted more than to see her again and ask her. He was a bit giddy about it, wait not a bit, a bit would be an understatement.

He was very giddy, he was excited and nervous, he was going to be going one step further in their relationship. He knew what he had to do and now…he had the time to think about it.

He hoped she was having those types of thoughts too.

-

“Oh my God! This was the worst idea I’ve ever had!” she growls,erasing the sketch and putting her head in her hands. She decided, since she was done with the kitchen project, to paint something in her new backyard because it was such an inspirational place too, why not use that to juice up her creativity?

Except she was having a very hard time coming up with an actual idea. She was sitting on the soft grass, rubbing her forehead  as she thought about what to do. She could continue the secret painting, but she…didn’t want to look at it because it’d only make her miss Rooster even more. So she decided to toss all her watercolors around her - with Jolene not far behind chewing her sock monkey - and hope for the best. 

Holding one of her watercolor brushes between her middle and index finger, Beatrice looked down at the paper then at her surroundings, “This house is beautiful, how am I not inspired?” she mutters,pushing herself to her feet so she could walk around her yard. It had some plants around, but there were some spots with fresh dirt she could put something…maybe some herbs like her father’s garden. Or some roses? Roses can be inspirational but it wasn’t helping her think of anything.

So she walked further, around their pool. Pool, water, ocean? Ocean themed baby room– no.Not a baby room, a watercolor painting, “Oh my God! This can’t be true!” she slaps her forehead “I need to think of something.” she wondered if her new neighbors could hear her turmoil through their windows, she hadn’t met them yet - she just met the couple who had the doberman puppy, they were very kind - and she hoped they wouldn’t think she’s some crazy lady who moved in.

Beatrice sighs, propping her hands on her hips as she chews her lower lip, looking up at the sky and seeing the white fluffy clouds move lazily to the left. She blinks, tilting her head as she sees a random shape slowly turn into something else. It was like…a duck? Like those tiny white ducks that looked so soft and unreal.

Oh she could do that. She kept looking up at the sky, squinting her gaze a bit, almost feeling like she had to see that but she couldn’t say why. Beatrice then nods to herself, going back to her watercolors and sitting back down on the warm grass, sketching something already. It was just a white duck on a pond, with soft blues and light teals with brushes of orange to represent the sunlight reflecting on the water’s surface. 

With her being in the zone now, she heard her phone vibrate but didn’t look to see who it was thinking it’d be Shells. They were going to go the Hard Deck a bit earlier tonight to help Penny with some extra stock, so she just swiped to answer the call and pressed the speaker icon, “Hello?”

“Beatrice? Hi!”

That was not Shells’ voice.

“It’s me Lilly Ann! I sent you a message a few months back and I wanted to know if you changed your mind about going to our reunion?”

Beatrice blinks in the phone’s direction, then clenches her eyes with a quiet ‘shit’ leaving through her gritted teeth, putting her painting supplies aside to grab the phone, pressing it to her ear, “Oh, hi Lilly Ann um…well I…” she rubs her forehead with her fingertips, “I don’t know, I-I’m not sure if I’ll be able to, I work on weekends–”

“We changed the date for next week!” her former classmate adds quickly, almost desperately, “On a friday! Will you be able to come?”

“I-I work on Fridays.” she mutters, apologetically and she could feel the other woman deflate “Unless…um what time will this be exactly?”

“One in the afternoon! And it’ll go until eight!”

Shit. She could go. “Oh uh…” she chewed her lower lip. She pondered about going to the reunion ever since she got the message months ago. She even mentioned it to her therapist who suggested that maybe it’d be good to heal some wounds she had as a child, close a chapter in her life so she’d no longer worry about them. Beatrice sighs, rubbing her palm heel against her eye, “Ah…fine,I…I’ll go.”

Lilly Ann exhaled out in relief, “Oh thank you Beatrice, thank you so much!I can’t wait to see you!I’m sure it’ll be wonderful to revive memories with everyone. We’ll meet at the old ballroom hall at school!” Beatrice just hummed with a brief smile, waiting until she finished the call so she dropped the phone to her lap, running her hands through her hair in exasperation and then returning her gaze to the unfinished watercolor painting.

She said yes, she really did say yes to the reunion. If Rooster was there he could offer her some insight, let her know if it was a good idea or not…but he wasn’t and she had to figure it out herself. Besides, it was her past issues being brought up and while he was her boyfriend - and she loved him immensely - he couldn’t fight those demons for her.

Beatrice just groans, then shakes her head when she feels the anxiety slowly climb up her spine, “It’ll be fine, it’ll be just fine.” she repeats, returning to the duck picture and gently swiping the colors on the watercolor paper, using that as a distraction instead. 

She was in a much better place now, wasn’t she? Yeah, she was in a great place. She could handle seeing her former classmates again, she wasn’t a child any longer, for Christ’s sake, she was a grown woman with a man who loved her and with a new confidence. The little Beatrice inside of her was unsure, hiding behind her brain as if she was scared of going.. and she understood what her therapist told her.

It was about healing her younger self, it’s about holding this girl’s hands and walking through the fire, that’s what it was all about. And Beatrice knew it’d be important, she suffered a lot back then, she went through so much she deserved closure. And of course, it’d be possible she’d see Eric but…doubtful he’d come and talk to her after she smashed his nose. 

Beatrice felt different now, a little smile curling at the corners of her lips, “I can do this.” she whispered, looking at the finished picture of the cute little duck in a pond, “I can do this and I’ll make sure I’ll look amazing doing it as well.” she already had an outfit in mind too, she couldn’t help but be weirdly excited about it. 

She nods with finality, gathering her painting supplies and taking it all back to her art room where Jolene followed her to. She was about to put the little duck drawing away, but she stopped, tilting her head to the side as she looked down at it.

Normally, her style was a lot more realistic, so to see this little cartoony duck smiling up at her was..interesting. She looked around her art room, even with the walls blank of pictures she still felt it wouldn’t belong there…then where?

Beatrice chews her lower lip, holding already dry watercolor painting out of the room, pressing it on the hallway downstairs, then in the bathrooms or even in Rooster’s office, but no place looked right for it.

That’s when she went up the stairs, trying it on the guest room and their bedroom, sighing in confusion as to why no place was working. She was about to put it back into her art room either way, when she stopped right in front of the blank room from before, the door still closed like she left since last time…she slowly turned the door handle, watching it slowly creak itself open and reveal the empty room.

Beatrice hesitates, holding the painting with both hands, watching the blank room stare back at her. After a few seconds she forces herself to walk forward, her feet echoing in the empty room until she stops right at the center, looking at the huge window then at the wall closest to her.

She blinks, holding the drawing up as if she was measuring on the wall and…for some reason, she liked it. She presses the paper flat against the wall, imagining it with a frame, with the walls painted differently with- 

“Mama!”

Beatrice gasps in surprise, dropping the paper and leaping back from the wall, looking around and to the doorframe, only seeing a curious Jolene peeking her head inside instead. Beatrice’s chest heaves with nervous breaths, was she going crazy? She was going crazy. It was the baby fever, that’s all it was…or the house was haunted and there was a Victorian child victim of tuberculosis running around their house. Nevermind this house was built in 2014 and it has the Mediterranean style common around Cali.

She looks back at Jolene, then at the fallen drawing at her feet and then rubs her face with both hands, “I’m losing it. I’m losing it,Jojo. Should I cal a priest??” her pittie just looks at her, the subtle movement of her tail wagging was her only answer, “Probably not,I’m just…tired. And having baby fever! Which is…a bit bothersome.”

She could swear she heard the giggle again, looking over her shoulder only to find the room was empty, “...I think I might call Michael to sleep over tonight again. He’s going to make so much fun of me…” or not, maybe he’ll believe she’s hearing childish disembodied voices just in this room…right?

Beatrice frowns, “Come on Jojo.” she gently ushers the pittie out, closing the door behind her with the duck picture held tightly in her hand. She bites her lower lip, then marches back down to her art room, placing the watercolor painting inside one of the lilac colored folders she usually keeps her art, latching it shut and then falling back onto her old couch.

She paid attention to see if she heard the disembodied voice again, looking up at the ceiling then back at the door…almost fearing she’d see a tiny figure running past the threshold but thankfully she only saw her hallway.  Beatrice sighs, sinking deeper into her old couch and pursing her lips in a little pout.

Her eyes dart to her soft stomach, furrowing her brows a bit before placing both of her hands on top, gently massaging the soft flesh, trying to imagine what it’d look like…well she knew the possibility was minimal since she was taking the birth control shots at the clinic - the last one was a few days before Bradley was deployed - but what if, you know? 

She wanted kids, she did, and she had a feeling so did Brad considering how he was with Bianca…”I need to stop this.” she whispers to herself, slapping her cheeks, “I stop worrying about one thing only for another to take its place. That’s not normal.” Jolene, who walked back into the room with her sock monkey within her jaws, looked at her curiously, “Let’s go on a walk Jojo,” she barely finished the sentence, seeing Jolene rush out of the room excitedly, tripping over her paws and sliding all the way to the front door. “I feel like we’ll both need this walk.”

Beatrice grabs her keys and phone, unlocking the front door, about to step out but pausing to give the upper floor one last look. She could see the door from where she was, still closed, no ghost children ominously standing in front of it with glowing eyes and menacing grins, nothing, just silence. “...yeah, we are going to take a long walk Jojo.” she says after closing the door, “A really long one.”

[imthebadguyyy]

Loved your first fic of Lewis!💛

Can you make one where Lewis Hamilton and Y/N have a fight and have been living separately and then Lewis comes to meet Y/N one evening and makes an excuse that his toothbrush is with Y/N? And then Lewis confronts Y/N that he knows Y/N still love him but won't admit?

..

* I know this is a very specific prompt. Bare with me. I just wanted more Angst/ Fluff with Longing for each other and Deep feelings and keep it Non-explicit. *

A/N - I'm so glad you liked the fic 😊

We're Meant To Be

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (female)

Fandom - F1

Summary - After a messy fight, you don't know where your relationship stands. But when love is that strong, an argument can't stand in the way.

Warnings - Angst, fighting, swearing

Angered shouts. Tears of frustration. White noise. Desperate pleads. And then silence. That's what your neighbours would describe if they were asked to describe what they had heard from your house. An argument that seemed to have started over nothing, had blown up into a full scale fight. When had it become this bad? Only yesterday, you two had had a date night at home, with movies and wine. Everything was perfect. But then, suddenly everything seemed to go down a downward spiral.

Your relationship with your boyfriend had always been calm, it had been the type of love where you just loved each other with all your hearts, where fights were an incredibly rare appearance. You were both working, and he was away at races most of the time, so usually, you didn't waste time fighting, something that was an unnecessary waste of time in your opinion. But then, something had just switched for a second. It was after the race in Baku, and it hadn't gone well. Lewis had been heartbroken, after coming P15, and had heavily berated himself for it. To make him feel better, you had taken a couple of days off work. to just be with him and give him company to feel better.

It had been on the third day of you spending time with him that he had made an offhand comment that had struck a nerve with you. "I wish you could be there at race weekends more often. It's like you don't care enough about the races" The comment had pissed you off, to put it lightly. "What do you mean, I don't care about the races? I watch all of them Lewis, I'm always supporting you" you had practically seethed at him. "Don't get all huffy, darling, all I'm saying is that the other girlfriends and wives come quite often, but you only come to like three races a year" he had said, already regretting his words. "Maybe that's because I have a job?! I work for my living, and I love my job. I don't have time to fly around the world to accompany you to your races, and its damn hard to get leave off of work anyway, I was lucky to even get a week off of work, and you want me to be there every weekend? It's not possible for a working person, Lewis" you had said, anger bubbling in your voice, pulling away from him to sit up straight. "I know, I just meant-" "No, I know what you meant. I'm sorry I can't always be there, and don't you think I feel bad when I can't be there for you ?" "I know you do, I shouldn't have brought this up. But can you come for the next race?" He had asked, not looking at your eyes, regretting the answer. "I... can't. I have a really big meeting coming up and-" "And you can't come I get it"

And he had just left. You had felt your heart shatter, hating yourself for being so harsh with him. But it was true, you were a very hardworking person, and you had worked damn hard to get to where you were, successful at your job, one of the best in your field. It took years of hard work and perseverance and you were proud of it. But a part of you also knew that Lewis didn't deserve any of the crap you had given him, and you also knew that he was right, the other guys had their partners to support them during various race weekends, and you only showed up to one or two of them. He was well in his rights to tell you that. And you hated how it had ended.

You all alone, in your house, in a cold and empty bed, in a quiet house with silence that was much, much more deafening than words ever could be. It was heartbreaking, to see a future you had dreamed of just shattering in front of your eyes, dreams of having a family of your own with him fluttering away like wisps of smoke, the burning flames leaving only a heartbroken mess of a human being behind. Was that what it felt like? To be burned and left to turn to ashes, when a person that knew exactly how to ignite your flame just left you to burn away? To have someone who could ignite your all consuming passion, and turn you to putty in his hands, who could mould you back into shape, leave you to melt into a liquid through his fingers to just lay on the ground, a sad, broken, person.

And here you were, lying on your bed, the sheets that had warmed the both of you on cold nights, or been home to your pleasure laced activities now offering only some of the warmth it used to, cold and unforgiving, as you turned your pillow for the fifteenth time, neither side cool anymore. Even the pillow didn't want to forgive you, the sweat settling in on your neck again, beads of sweat running down your forehead again. The pulled curtains shielded you from the over bright sunshine, your damp hair sticking to your shoulders and neck. Your eyes, red rimmed and tired, shut to protect them from the faint light in the room, the tiredness not permitting you to even open them to look in the dim light of your room.

Somewhere near you, your phone buzzed again, for what felt like the hundredth time in three days. It had been three days, three long, painful days since you and Lewis had fought and not seen each other, and those 72 hours had ripped a part of your soul out. You had spent those three days in bed, your leave days still saving you from getting out of bed and dragging your body to office. Was your relationship over? Were you never going to meet the love of your life, the man you were destined to be with again? Sighing, you rolled over, pushing the damp strands of hair away from your face. Using strength you didn't know you had, you pulled yourself up, feeling your head spin.

Slowly, you made yourself walk into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bread and popping it into the toaster. Then you splashed some water on your tired face, shuffling over to the bathroom to brush your teeth. After finishing your toast, you peeled off the sweaty shirt you had pulled on when he had left, realising with a pang that it was Lewis's nightshirt you were wearing, a purple one he loved. Dropping it into the laundry basket, you turned on the shower, stepping under the warm shower. The warm spray untangled the knots in your matted hair, as you soaped your body and hair, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as memories of your showers together with Lewis came flooding back, as heartbroken sobs wracked your form again.

An hour after the not so great shower, you found yourself in another shirt belonging to Lewis, the bed in fresh sheets and covers, your pillow finally cool on both sides. You were clean and refreshed, albeit heartbroken, waiting on your takeout Chinese food and ice cream. Just as you lay there, scrolling through your Netflix account to watch some episode of FRIENDS to help you keep your spirits up, the doorbell rang. The thought of flavourful Chinese food and ice cream was enough to lure you out of your bed again, bare feet padding across the wooden floor to go to the door. You grabbed your wallet, opening the door, to find not your dinner, but Lewis, at the door, in one of your favourite sweatshirts on him. Did the clothes make you feel better? No. In fact, it just shattered your heart further.

"What are you doing here?" was the predictable line that left your lips. "I um, I left my toothbrush at your place. Can I have it back?"

"I beg your pardon? You left your toothbrush? You came back for a toothbrush, but not for me? Is that all I mean to you?!" you said, anger and a hint of sadness creeping into your tone. "You do mean a lot to me" he replied in a sigh. "Look, I didn't actually leave my toothbrush. That was a lie, and wow, I'm just realising how stupid that sounded, I'm sorry" His words were met with silence. The sadness in your eyes said it all. You were upset. Of course you were. "I don't have any toothbrushes except mine, so please leave" Before you could shut the door in his face, he pushed it back open, stepping into the house on his own.

"No do not come in here, please just get out!"

"No" was his frustrating reply. "What do you mean no? I said get out of my house!" "Not until we stop fighting and talk about what the hell happened!" Lewis yelled back, matching your tone. "Why the hell do you care?!" "Because I still love you damn it, I always have, and this stupid fight cannot, and should not break us apart!"

Your burst into tears. Sliding down against the wall, you buried your face in your hands, the sweatshirt arms covering your face as you sobbed. In an instant, Lewis was walking across to you, strong muscled arms wrapping around your shaking frame. "I'm sorry" you managed to blubber out, "I thought it over, and I don't go to support as often as I feel I should, and I'm sorry"

"No my darling, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that to you. You work so hard baby, and I'm so proud of you. And I know that you try to come whenever you can, and I love you so much for that. I'm sorry, and I never shouldv'e asked you to prioritize my passion over yours" rubbing your shoulders softly, he let his chin rest on top of yours. Sniffling, you let your head rest on his shoulder. The soft hiccups that left your lips broke his heart even further, something he hadn't thought possible.

The last 3 days had been pure hell for him. He had missed you, God, he had missed you. He had missed having you in his bed in the morning, tracing patterns on your bare skin. He had missed leaving kisses on your soft cheeks and hands and on your cute nose, missed smiling against your skin as you giggled. He had missed you playing with Roscoe, the doggo following the both of you around the house. Even Roscoe had missed you, sniffing around the house for your familiar smell, cocking his ears up and looking at his dad questioningly.

He had missed your perfume, the scent filling his senses, intoxicating him in the best way possible. He missed you curling up to him, playing with his hair or tracing his tattoos, leaving little kisses around the compass tattoo, tracing his 'Still I Rise' tattoo, missing the goosebumps that would rise on his skin when you traced Michelangelo's Pieta on his skin, and kissed the family and faith tattoos on his sternum. He missed you everywhere, and it had taken three days for him to realize that your presence grounded him. Your presence was something he needed, not to survive, he had done that before, he needed you for his happiness.

And having you in his arms, crying over what he had said? It shattered his heart. And he wanted to just fix everything, to bring everything back to normal. Stroking your hair softly, he kept his lips pressed to your ear, whispering soft "I love you's" and "I'm so sorry baby's" and "I'm here for you's" into your ear, feeling his heart lighten ever so softly when your sniffles decreased and your grip on yourself relaxed.

Moving up to meet his eyes, you moved so you were at eye level with him. "So we're both idiots who are sorry?" You murmured, running your hand up to his collarbone. With a soft laugh, he nodded taking your hand into his, rubbing his thumb over yours. "Fighting sucks" he mumbled pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "It really does" your replied, moving so you were straddling his waist. "Let's never do that again, and let's just make a schedule. We can figure out when you can come and visit me, and I'll just deal with the fact that my ethereal girlfriend won't grace the race tracks every race weekend-" "It all sounds lovely but all I want right now is your lips on mine" you interrupted, bringing a smirk to his lips.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to yours, hand moving to maneuver your head closer to his, your hands moving up to cup his cheek, as your traced his jawline, his thumb running over your waist. Breaking apart softly, he let his forehead rest on yours. "I love you" he whispered softly. "I love you too" you mumbled back. Before he could lean back in, the doorbell rang again.

"Damn it. That's my chinese food and ice cream" you sighed, smiling when he laughed. "Was it that bad?" He asked, letting you get up to open the door. "Like you wouldn't believe it"

After getting the food and paying for it, you set two plates on the table and put enough on your plates. "You know what the worst part was about fighting?" "What was?" "Not waking up to you tracing my tattoos" "Aww that's what you missed?" You giggled, walking up to kiss the tattoos on his hands. "I really did. You're cute and adorable and you're all mine. That's why I don't wanna fight. Let's keep it that way" "I love you so much" "I love you too"

***

A/N - I'm so, so sorry I took so long to write this, I really suck at angst, and I hope this is what you wanted, the last thing I want to do is give you subpar work 😭😭

Anyways, have a great day 💙

[deepdarkdelights]

Solar Eclipse (Hoseok x Reader)

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Word Count: 16.9k

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Stalking, Obsession, Forced Relationships, Fear, Panic/Anxiety, Devious Intentions, Talks about Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Dub Con, Forced Implants, Death, The Afterlife, Heights, Jumping from Heights

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 

Preview:  His smile drifted away, it was like watching the moon slip over the sun into a solar eclipse. The Hoseok you were left with was one that had a cold, stricken expression that bled disbelief.

This look on his face, although more genuine than anything else you had seen, was capable of sending your entire body into a panicked frenzy. Something in the back of your mind was telling you, no, begging you to run. The instincts that had been fostered in you from generations before were telling you this man was dangerous, and you were better off fleeing than sticking around to see what would happen. 

“I dare you, say that to me one more time baby and you won’t like what happens next.”

A/N: This was supposed to be 10k...how did we get here. This story was heavily inspired by Beautiful Accident and Wonderful Nightmare! Both amazing movies I recommend that never fail to get me in my feels. I hope you enjoy this wild ride! See you in the comments! 💜💜💜

Your hands were hurting again.

The light from your computer screen was blaringly bright, causing you to momentarily cease your endless scrolling and remove your glasses from the bridge of your nose. You pressed your cool fingers against the warm flesh of your eyelids and tilted your head back against your seat, giving yourself a moment to relax. 

The once cacophonous tapping of another keyboard suddenly halted as your assistant leaned forward in her seat, sliding her laptop shut. 

“You okay, boss?” She asked, her brows pinched together in concern. “Is it a migraine again?”

You exhaled deeply through your nose as you flexed your fingers in an attempt to dispel the ache from them. You were far too young to already be experiencing so many aches and pains. 

“No, I’m just tired.” You admitted as you folded your glasses up and pushed them aside. 

“That’s because you work too much, honestly do you ever sleep? When was the last time you went home?” She chuckled in amusement.

“Ha ha ha, very funny. I’ll have you know I’m faithful to my sleep number, I come home to him every night.” 

“Him? You refer to your mattress as him? Somebody hasn’t gotten laid in a while.” She snorted. 

“I could have you fired for that, that’s sexual harassment you know.” You shot back, amused yet annoyed she had hit a little too close to home. 

“Please, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you fired me.” She laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

Before you could shoot back your response, an abrupt knock on the door stopped the both of you in your tracks. Without saying anything, she rose from her seat and began to cross the room. Knowing she would be able to handle it for you, you reclined deeper into your office chair and slipped your phone out of your desk drawer to sort through your endless amount of notifications. 

You didn’t look up as you heard the door click shut, two sets of footsteps approaching your mahogany desk. 

You could hear somebody clear their throat, their breaths coming out rapidly as if they were anxious. “Y-your coffee, miss.”

Without looking up you merely held out your hand, the warm cup slotting itself into your waiting fingers. You mumbled out a rough thanks as you continued to scroll through your phone, rolling your eyes at the amount of missed calls you had from your mother who, despite knowing your work schedule, persisted in calling you during your office hours. 

You could faintly hear your assistant walking the man to the door, whispering a soft, “Thank you, sweetie,” as the door clicked shut. 

“Really?!” She hissed, once she was sure the man was gone. “You didn’t even look at him!”

“Who? The coffee boy? I didn’t think it mattered.” You said with a shrug, taking a sip from your coffee.

“That wasn’t a coffee boy! That was your intern, jackass!”

“He’s just an intern, Jenny, he won’t be here for long. None of them last around here anyways.” 

Jenny sighed, flopping down into the seat across from you with a pout. “The poor thing was so nervous, you really should be nicer to him. He has such a sweet smile…”

“Oh no, don’t you start one of your schemes again. I don’t have time for men and the last thing I need is for you to start playing cupid. And didn’t I tell you to stop hiring people just because they're attractive?”

“Sweetie, I don’t know if you’re aware, but you're not as young as you think you are. When are you going to settle down, huh? Find a husband, have some cute kids for me to dote on.” 

“Jesus, you’re starting to sound like my mother. I don’t have the time for marriage or for kids, not when I’m busy with this place.” You replied with a stiff tone, this was not the first time the two of you had this conversation. 

“I’m just saying you’re hot, rich, and a CEO, you could literally have any man you want.” She pointed out, the tips of her fingers pressing together in the shape of an arrow. 

“You literally just called me a Sugar Momma.” 

“I mean, they do have websites if you're interested…”

“Okay, you win, I’m leaving early. I can’t deal with your obnoxious ass anymore.” You said, standing up so quickly your chair shot back and turned on its wheels. 

“Jenny: 72, You: None.” Your assistant laughed, adding a point to her imaginary scoreboard.

“I was going to say call me if you need anything, but please don’t.” You chuckled, grabbing your blazer from the coat rack and sliding it around your shoulders before picking up your purse. 

“Don’t worry boss, I’ll hold down the fort.” She said, giving you a quick salute as she stood and began to gather her things. “Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”

You pressed your lips together tightly in an attempt to hide the hint of a smile on your mouth as she exited your office. She was the only person you talked to like that, you were a rather antisocial boss. You tended to come off as cold and callous to your employees, but in reality you just really didn’t like talking to others when it wasn’t necessary. It had taken four years for you and Jenny to become as close as you did, in fact she was the only person you could truly call your friend. 

You had grown up in an isolated world, one filled with tutors and home schooling as you were groomed to take over one of the branches of your family's business. You had siblings, but you rarely ever saw them. They too were consumed by their work and their families, in fact you were the youngest of them and couldn’t remember a time where all of you lived together in one household. There were four of you in total, you only saw each other at holidays and your parents annual Christmas gala. You were by no means close.

You had grown comfortable being alone and frigid. It was safe and it was efficient. 

Your entire life had been one of isolation, the only amount of warmth bleeding into the bleak monotone schemes of your world was Jenny. And the amount you had let in was minimal. 

It was better being alone, you told yourself. 

You adjusted your purse on your shoulder as your office door swung shut behind you. The building was still fairly active, everyone was in a rush to complete their work before the sun completely dipped below the horizon. That was something you enjoyed about your building. The walls were littered with floor to ceiling windows allowing the ochre tones of sunlight to bleed into the bright white and concrete interior, soft dappled light dancing over hard edges. 

You paused for a moment by the windows, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt the warmth of the sun caress your face, its fleeting light still permeable through your closed eyelids creating a golden halo in your vision. You gave yourself two breaths worth of silence and stillness before your eyes snapped open once more and you hastily made your way to the elevator that would send you to your floor of the parking garage. 

You waited patiently for the elevator, one of your legs extended in front of you as you rolled your foot from side to side on the precarious talon of your red bottom heels. Once you heard the doors sliding open and the familiar ding of the elevator you raised your chin slowly, your eyes half lidded in boredom as you met the expressions of your employees. There were two of them inside the metal contraption, their eyes wide in alarm at the sight of you. You tilted your head slightly to the side, and like you had cracked a whip they scuttled out of the elevator and hurried past you without a word. 

You huffed in annoyance to yourself as you headed inside, you had no idea what their problem was and you pondered if there was any reason to write them up for their bizarre behavior. Perhaps not. 

The elevator hummed as it steadily dropped floors, the soft music effectively worsening your mood. You hated elevator music. 

As soon as the doors slid open you jetted out of them, your heels tapping noisily in the quiet garage. You slid your bag from your shoulder and busied yourself by trying to find your keys. You hissed to yourself as you tripped and almost went flying, multitasking and heels did not go together. You stopped for a moment, opening your bag wider as you tried to find the little ring of keys buried in the depths of your purse. 

The second your fingers brushed the cool metal you released an annoyed breath, throwing your purse back over your shoulder as you flicked through your key ring, grasping the fob that went to your car.

Despite having what you had previously been looking for, you did not move. Instead, you looked around warily, pivoting on your heels as you scanned the area around you.

You could have sworn you heard footsteps.

You waited silently for a few more moments, listening for signs that another person was there with you. 

You heard no other breaths, nor the sounds of approaching or retreating footsteps.

You weren’t going to wait around any longer just to find out you were wrong. 

You swiftly made your way to your VIP parking spot, unlocked the doors, and threw yourself into the car while making sure to lock the doors as soon as you were seated. 

Your mother had begged you for months to get a bodyguard. You were a young woman with lots of money and the heir to a massive enterprise. You should not be walking around as if you were a normal person. It was only now that you were beginning to think that your mother was right. 

Not wanting to dwell on dark thoughts any longer, you pushed your key into the ignition, and peeled out of the parking garage a little faster than normal. 

As your anxiety slowly drained from your body, you began to feel the effects of lack of sleep. Jenny was not wrong, you were considering the fact that maybe you had a touch of insomnia. Either that or you were simply a workaholic. Honestly, it could be both. 

You switched the radio on, picking a classic rock station and dialing the volume up to the point you could feel your leather seats vibrating beneath you with each clash of the drums emanating from the speakers. 

But even that was just barely doing its job. Your eyes were still stinging like they had been moments before at your desk. You were undeniably as exhausted as you were a safety hazard. You clenched the steering wheel harder, the flesh of your skin pulling tightly over your knuckles as you attempted to stay awake. It wasn’t that far of a ride, you could make it home. 

But that thought didn’t stop your eyelids from drooping shut, it was nearly impossible to keep them open, they were so heavy you were struggling to reopen them every time you blinked. 

Your eyes stayed closed much longer now than they had before, and upon opening them again a scream of shock bubbled up your throat. 

A flash of black fur shot across your narrow vision as you frantically spun the steering wheel and slammed on your breaks. A band of horns beeped behind and beside you as you swerved dramatically into the next lane.

Your car had been mere inches from swerving right in front of an eighteen wheeler. 

Your hand fluttered frantically against your chest, your heart pounding back against it in shock. 

You had almost died. 

You gathered yourself up before stomping down on the accelerator and speeding away, dodging the massive vehicle you had almost hit in the opposite lane. The shock of adrenaline you were experiencing from that frightening event was more than enough to keep you awake now. You only had one goal in mind and that was to make it home in one piece. 

The minute you slid back into your regular parking spot you allowed yourself to slump back into the driver's seat, blinking wildly as you recalled the sight of the headlights and the cacophony of car horns from moments prior. You really need to get your shit together. 

~~~~~~~

By the time you made it up to your apartment the exhaustion had returned full force. You toed off your shoes tiredly, stumbling over them with an annoyed grunt as you threw your purse down to the floor. You could really do without your sudden lack of coordination. 

Far too tired to even care, you immediately began stripping your clothes off at the front door. You carelessly threw your blazer aside and shimmied off your skirt as you began to walk, leaving a trail of clothes behind you as you headed for your bedroom. The housekeeper would deal with it in the morning anyways, it didn’t matter where they ended up. 

Your pajamas from the previous night were waiting for you at the foot of your bed, folded up into a neat little pile contrasting greatly from your current care for your clothing. You happily sighed as you pulled the creamy, cashmere sweater over your head and stepped into a pair of silk sleep shorts. This was what you had been waiting for all day. 

That, and the bottle of Cheval Blanc tucked away in your liquor cabinet. 

You ran your fingers through your hair tiredly as you made your way to the kitchen, the sound of your bare feet patting against the floor echoed down the long, empty hallway. 

You wasted no time, eagerly pulling open your cabinet and retrieving the expensive bottle of wine along with a crystal glass. You eased the cork free from the bottle, allowing it to roll over your granite counter as you poured the wine into your glass, the liquor bubbling as you filled it to the very top. You were a guilty self medicator, that was for damn sure. 

You hurried back into your living room, wine glass in one hand and a small tray of macarons in the other. There was one thing you were certain of, you were definitely going to drink your fatigue away and indulge in your favorite cookies until you passed out on your couch. You deserved it, after all you were a CEO, an overworked one at that. 

So, there you sat, taking languid sips from your glass and delicate bites from your cookies as you began to catch up on a show you hadn’t had the time to watch in weeks. It was incredibly relaxing, the soft hum of the TV, the feeling of your favorite blanket wrapped around your bare legs, and the soft tapping of rain against your windows. You were set on not moving for the rest of the night. That was of course, until you had to pee.

You groaned in frustration at the thought of having to move, but the call of nature was much stronger than your will to remain sedentary. You leaned forward, setting your food and drink on the coffee table before you violently kicked your legs, fighting your blanket as you attempted to untangle yourself from it. 

The second your toes touched the lush carpet beneath you, a shock of lightning suddenly splintered it’s way through the sky, shards of light refracting through your windows and lighting up the dim room. The soft rumble of thunder followed soon after. 

You froze at the sight, the light rain still tapped against your windows, a dull contrast to the sudden shock of light you had witnessed.

But, what was even more unexpected, was the sight of dark fur and glowing jade eyes staring back at you. There was a cat sitting on your balcony. That should have been impossible, there was no possible way that cat could have made its way there, your building was pet free. 

The sight of its slick coat of black fur tugged at your heart strings. He must be so cold, stuck out in the rain like that. In fact, he looked almost exactly like your childhood cat you had loved to dearly growing up. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to let him in, let him get dry and warm and fill his belly. 

With a new goal in mind you carefully made your way to your sliding glass door, not wanting to spook him too badly lest he jump. The drop would not be a survivable one. 

Despite your valiant efforts, the minute the door clicked and slid open he jumped up onto the fencing and rails that surrounded your balcony. 

“Hey, no, no, no, just stay right there, kitty.” You cooed gently, taking slow and careful steps in his direction. 

The cat fixed you with a penetrating gaze, his bright jade eyes trained on you, watching every step you made as his tail flicked from side to side behind him. 

“That’s a good boy, just stay right there.” You hummed, your hands held up in a show of no malintent as you carefully approached him. “Come on, I just want to help you.”

Just as you were within grabbing reach, your fingers mere inches from touching his silken fur, he lept away, settling on the ledge against the building. He was dangerously close to falling off, the distance from the ledge to the ground far enough to make your toes and fingers tingle. 

“Fuck.” You hissed. 

The cat remained there, his gaze still trained on you. Those bright eyes seemed to be beckoning for you to come and join him, to meet him up on the ledge. 

You quickly shook out your hands and feet as you stared back, your vision tunneling in on him. You could feel the cold air nipping at your bare flesh, goosebumps raising on the skin of your thighs. You could do it. 

You wiped your palms against the fabric of your shorts before grasping the metal railing and carefully lowering yourself over to the other side. You could feel the wind stronger now as it swirled around you, a flash of light overtaking the sky once more as a steady rumble of thunder bounced off of the surrounding buildings. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You mumbled to yourself, taking in a sharp breath through your nose as you attempted to calm yourself. Just don’t look down, for the love of all that is holy do not look down.

You steadily rose up on to your toes, shimming your way over as you held on tightly to the railing. The sliver of stone beneath your toes was slick from rainfall, as was the metal of the railing beneath your tense fingers. The closer you got to the cat, the further away it seemed to be, either that was the truth or the reality of how high up you were was messing with your head.

The thought you had from earlier suddenly came rushing back to you, the drop wouldn’t be survivable. What a sobering thought. 

You had come to a point now where you wouldn’t be able to hold onto the railing anymore, not if you needed to be able to reach the cat. So, with a shaky breath you released your grip from the railing one hand at a time and quickly latched onto the stone architecture surrounding the windows. The only thing keeping you from falling was the tiny inches of stone beneath your arched feet, and the architecture you were desperately clinging to. 

You slowly turned your head, your gaze meeting the cat’s once more. It’s eyes were almost mesmerizing, there was something about it that was telling you that you needed to get him, that you just needed to pick him up and stay with him. You had no choice but to retrieve him, you felt like you would die if you had to leave him all alone on this ledge. His eyes were drawing you in, causing you to spiral downwards into their hypnotic depths. You needed him. 

He was not moving anymore, he was settled down on his back legs, his tail flicking out dangerously over the edge of the building. You were certain that you could reach him if you tried. 

You slowly lowered yourself into a crouch, releasing your one hand from the side of the building as you reached out, the other hand still holding onto the stone of the window. You leaned forward as calmly as you could, your arm burning from the stretch as you slid over slightly to grab the cat. 

This time the cat did not move away, it remained still, waiting for your touch. 

Both of your arms were completely spread out, your fingers just barely holding onto the building as you finally made it within grabbing distance. And then, it all fell apart.

As soon as your fingers brushed his midnight fur, he jerked away from your touch causing your feet to slip out from underneath you, and your weak hold to completely detach from the wall. 

And then you were falling.

A violent scream ripped its way free from your throat as you went airborne, the last thing you could see was the penetrating emerald glare of the midnight black cat as you plummeted towards the ground. 

No one would know that you had never intended to end your life when you stepped out onto that ledge.

Unwillingly, you had. 

~~~~~~~

You never felt the impact of the ground, and when you opened your eyes you did not find your body mangled or feel any pain. In fact you were no longer even in the city. 

You were already standing, and you were all alone. You turned frantically, spinning as you tried to find out where you were. There was nothing all around you, just cloudy skies, stretching fields of tall grass, old dilapidated fences, and a dusty road of dirt and rocks beneath your feet.

And then of course, there was the bus stop sign beside you. 

You approached the sign in curiosity. The closer you got the more you noticed how strange everything was. Despite there being stones beneath your feet you didn’t feel pain, and the environment wasn’t cold or hot, it was just neutral. And, it was extremely silent. Not a gust of wind blew, no crickets hummed, and there wasn’t a single chirp from a songbird. There was nothing. 

You leaned your upper body forward, looking from side to side for any signs of life. Both ways you could barely see anything, the field seemed to disappear into thick clouds of fog that were impermeable to your sight. 

You decided in that moment you were better off looking for signs of life than you were waiting for them to come find you. But, to your surprise, the second your foot touched down onto the dirt road a bus came rumbling down the road and screeched to a stop in front of you. 

The doors slid open and light flooded the space around you. You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the exposure, your hand creating a visor on your forehead. 

“You getting on or what?” A voice called from inside the bus. 

“Me?” You asked pointing to yourself.

“Of course you, does it look like I’m talking to anyone else?” The voice huffed in annoyance. “I’m already running late. I'd prefer if you didn’t hold us up any longer.”

“Running late?” You whispered to yourself. “And where will you be taking me?” 

There was silence for a moment and then suddenly a raucous laughter that made you jump. “Where am I taking you?! That’s a good one. Come on, let's go.”

You blinked slowly in irritation, the last thing you needed was to be laughed at and dismissed like a child when you had serious questions that you needed answered. 

“Come on newbie! Today!” He yelled, causing you to jump in fright before scurrying onto the bus. 

Upon entering you were met face to face with the bus driver. He had fair skin and pitch black hair with an amused, gummy smile on his face. Apparently, he thought you were hilarious. He said nothing to you this time, he just merely jerked his head in the direction behind him, signaling for you to find a seat. 

Once you turned to face the passengers of the bus you realized it was far longer than it appeared from the outside, in fact it looked like it stretched farther beyond what you could see with copious amounts of passengers. 

The passengers themselves were of all sizes, races, and ages. You could see mothers holding infants and elderly couples cuddled up to one another. Some people seemed to know one another, others looked sad and lonely like the little boy a few seats back. 

You were incredibly confused. 

Unsure as to where you should sit, you finally decided on sitting next to the little boy. 

The second you sat down, you felt his gaze train on you and his little body shift closer to you. 

“Hi,” He whispered, his fingers curling around the fabric of your cashmere sweater and tugging, “My name is Minho.”

You have him a soft smile in return with a gentle whisper of your name. 

“Where’s your mommy, Minho?” You asked, curious as to why this little boy was all alone. 

“I’m going to meet her now.” He replied, with an excited smile, his legs kicking out energetically before he suddenly calmed down. “I wish daddy came with me.”

“Why didn’t your daddy come with you?” You asked, your eyebrows pinching together in confusion. 

“He said I had to go alone, he can’t come with me for a while. He said I’ll be happy with mommy, that I’ll feel better with her.” He said sadly, his lower lip pouting as he rubbed at his teary eyes. 

“You’ll feel better?”

“Mhm, I was sick for a long time. Daddy said it was time for me to see Mommy, he told me it was okay to go to sleep.”

Oh, oh no. Everything was suddenly starting to make sense. You quickly looked over your shoulder and caught sight of the elderly couple you had seen earlier. 

“Hey! You two! What were you doing before you got here?!”

The older man looked up at you with a kind smile as he continued to rub his wife’s shoulder. “We were driving down to visit our son, he was never too good about coming up to see us. Some bad weather hit, we couldn’t see out of the windshield very well. Next thing you know we’re rolling over the guard rail and down the side of the hill!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

“You! Where were you?!” You yelled at the woman seated across from you. 

“Hm? I went in for surgery, what’s it to you?” She asked with an annoyed grimace on her face. 

“What’s it to me?!” You echoed with a hysterical laugh. You were fucking dead that’s what it was! All of you were!

Your thoughts were racing a hundred miles a minute as you tried to gather yourself, your heart beating frantically as a sick feeling settled in your stomach. You needed to get off the bus, you needed to get far away from all of these people. 

Without thinking you lurched to your feet and gripped the cord above your window, yanking it harshly to signal the bus to stop. 

The bus halted immediately, sending you stumbling forward into the back of the driver’s seat. The bus driver met your panicked face through the reflection of the mirror, a curious light to his pitch black irises. 

“So, we’ve got a challenger? I knew you’d be a stubborn one.” He sighed, hitting the button that sent the doors swishing open. “The guy in charge is out there, you can voice your complaints to him.”

You were far too shocked to vocalize anything, your feet just blindly leading you to the doors. You stopped for a moment, looking over your shoulder to get one quick look at Minho. His little legs were still kicking out in front of him.

“Bye miss!” He called with a little wave and a smile, spurring you off the bus with a quick wave in his direction.

Upon stepping foot off of the bus, you were faced with a dimly lit four way intersection that looked like it had been abandoned for years. You quickly headed towards the center of the road as you caught sight of a tall man waiting for you. 

His face was relaxed, a neutral expression taking over his features. He was dressed fairly well for a man standing in the middle of nowhere. You took notice of his crisp three piece suit and the high shine of his shoes. He was obviously someone who was important, if the bus driver had indicated anything by his statements.  

You didn’t waste any time to hurl your questions at him. “I’m dead aren’t I?! Who are you?! What is this place?!”

“Relax.” He commanded, his voice immediately sending a wave of calmness crashing down over you. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before reopening them and waiting in silence for his response. 

“My name is Namjoon, this is the crossroads.” He said, gesturing to the four intersecting roads surrounding you. 

“That is Life,” He said, pointing to the road behind you, “That is Punishment,” the road to his right, “That is Reward,” the road behind him, “And that is Retrial.” The road to his left. 

“Right, that’s fantastic, how do I go back down that road.” You blurted out, pointing to the road behind you.

“Normally, you don’t. But luckily for you, or not so luckily, there was an error made.”

“An error?” You asked. 

“Yes, one of our reapers made a mistake. You aren’t scheduled for processing for quite some time, someone by the same name, sixty years of age, was scheduled for processing today.”

A reaper? What reaper? You hadn’t exactly seen the classic skeletal face cloaked all in black with a scythe in hand had you? Your face screwed up in irritation as you flicked backwards through your memories from earlier that day, trying to remember if you had seen anything that remotely resembled a reaper. 

And then it hit you. 

“That fucking cat!” You screeched, spinning around as you dramatically yelled into the void around you. 

Namjoon winced his posture slightly wilting at your realization. “Yes, that was one of our newer reapers, Taehyung.”

“What kind of operation are you running here? Do I look like I’m sixty years old to you?” You yelled, the panic quelling up in your chest. “You’re going to fix this aren’t you?!”

“Of course! I take my job very seriously!” He shot back. “The only issue is, I can’t send you back to your life just yet.”

“And why not?!”

“Time is a very sensitive and precious thing, as a woman of business I am sure you understand. The other woman still needs to pass and be processed, the events that lead to her demise must be tailored perfectly and set up with the correct timing. Only then can you return, once she is passed with the correct timing the two of you will switch. You can live again and she can be sent down the proper road.” 

“And how long will that take?”

“A few weeks.” He replied vaguely, his body tensed as he waited for your response.

“Weeks?! And what will I do during that time? Do you expect me to follow you around everywhere?”

“Thankfully, no. In the time being, I will have to put you somewhere else, some other place and time. Are you willing to do that?”

“Yes, I’m more than willing. As long as I get my old life back, I don’t care what it takes. Just make it happen.”

“You will, in due time. But listen to me very carefully, you have to follow every aspect of this other life perfectly. You cannot act out of character, you have to act exactly as everyone expects you to. You cannot have contact with anyone from your previous life as well. Understand? If you can’t do that, then you can’t go back.”

You swallowed harshly, a sense of anxiety creeping up inside of you. You had no choice but to accept, your life and had been wrongfully ended far too soon. If that meant doing whatever Namjoon asked of you, you would do it. 

You gave him a swift nod, your hand clenching up into fists.

“Perfect, I’ll have Taehyung escort you down that way.” Namjoon replied, pointing down at the road to his left, Retrial.

Upon hearing his name, Taehyung appeared. He was tall, with honey skin, midnight black curly hair, and bright green eyes. 

The fucking cat. 

Taehyung met you with a sheepish grin and an embarrassed wave, hesitantly coming to your side. He looked nothing like the reaper you had been anticipating. If anything he was a sad excuse for a reaper with the bashful attitude he was presenting you with. 

“Did you really have to use the appearance of my childhood pet to kill me?” You asked, your voice dripping with venom as you crossed your arms over your chest, your bare foot tapping in annoyance. You weren’t exactly the picture of intimidation you normally were.

“I’m sorry.” He replied softly, bowing his head forward in an apologetic manner still refusing to meet your burning gaze.

“I’ll be checking in with you every now and then, please, try to play along with this life.” Namjoon begged, a serious expression evident on his face. Not only did he appear serious, but you could tell he  was also stressed. The fuck up Taehyung had made was evidently a big one. 

“I’ll try my best.” You replied, you knew you had to, or else there was no going back. 

Namjoon gave Taehyung a quick nod, and with that gesture Taehyung grabbed hold of your hand and began to lead you down Retrial. From your perspective, each road was identical, this one too was dusty and littered with stones leading into a seemingly never ending fog. 

The reaper beside you was quiet, his gaze pinned ahead as he focused on his task, leading you down the path of Retrial. 

If only you had known how much of a trial this life truly would be. 

~~~~~~~

You were boiling hot. 

You could feel a mattress beneath your back, one that was far softer than you normally liked. Your body was swaddled with thick blankets and sheets that were sticking to your sweaty skin. You groaned in irritation at the feeling and attempted to bat away the blanket and turn onto your side. 

A sudden grunt behind you had your heart stuttering to a stop, your entire body frozen as you came to the realization that that was not a blanket you had just smacked, but somebody's arm wrapped around your waist. 

Slowly, you turned onto your side to see who was in your bed. The moment you flipped your body over you were met with deep brown eyes that were just barely open and the sight of a lazy smile as your body was suddenly dragged forward and pressed tightly against the strangers. 

A sharp scream bubbled up past your lips as you threw yourself backwards, smacking the man’s hand away from your body as you fumbled out of the bed. In your haste your foot was caught in the mess of blankets, sending you tumbling backwards off of the bed, spurring another cry from your mouth. 

“Baby?” A voice called, it was raspy and deep from just waking and wrought with concern. 

You quickly yanked the sheets off of your sprawled out form and ushered yourself to stand on shaky legs. The man in the bed was propped up on one elbow, the sheet slipping down off of his chest to settle and pool at his waist. He was absolutely shirtless, revealing a stretch of honey skin and a toned abdomen. 

Holy shit, what the fuck was going on?

“Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked you again, this time he appeared to be more alert, all signs of sleepiness dissipating from his body. 

Worried from your lack of response, he rushed to stand up, the blankets falling away to reveal he was clad in boxers. 

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck? It had to be illegal to have thighs like that, right?

“Stay right there!” You yelled, throwing your hand up in fear as he ignored your command and quickly began to approach you. The closer he got the more steps you took backwards, tripping over stray clothes on the floor until the wall at your back stopped you from retreating any further. 

The man, clearly ignoring your pleas to be left alone, walked right up to you. He was so close that his bare chest was pressed up against you effectively sandwiching you between him and the wall as heat flooded your cheeks. His hands fluttered around you worriedly, checking you for any signs of injury before he rested his hand on your forehead checking for a temperature. 

“Are you sick, hunny? You’re acting...off?” He asked, petting your hair in anxiety as he tried to meet your gaze. 

“Don’t touch me.” You finally said, brushing his hands off of you once more as you attempted to slip away from him. 

“Why are you acting like this?” He asked, obviously confused before a sudden smile overtook his features. He had a sweet smile, one that made his entire face light up in joy. “It reminds me how you used to act around me all those years ago. Are you trying to get me going this early? We really shouldn’t, you know, I have to be at work soon.”

Holy fuck, what kind of person are you now? 

The man in front of you pulled you out of your stupor at the feeling of his hand on your jaw as he leaned down to your height. 

Realizing what his intentions were, you let out another scream of fright and shoved him away, darting for the bedroom door. As soon as your hand gripped the doorknob you ripped the door open and slammed it shut behind you. 

You leaned your head back against the wall as you rested, you hand over your heart, taking shallow breaths as you attempted to collect yourself. 

That didn’t exactly go as planned.

With your eyes closed you didn’t see the incoming form running up to you until it collided with your legs, winding around you tightly in excitement. 

“Mommy!” A little voice cried. 

Your eyes snapped open in surprise as you looked down at the little child wrapped around your legs. Despite his small and non threatening form, you couldn’t stop the scream of fright that escaped you as you unlatched him from your legs and raced to the first open door you saw, yanking it closed behind you and twisting the lock shut. 

You were in the bathroom. Finally, a place where you could gather yourself. You stood at the sink, resting your forearms on the counter and your head in your hands as you breathed in sharply through your nose. You needed to get your shit together and stop panicking. 

You couldn’t help but feel cheated, panicked, and pissed all at once. Not only had you died, made a deal with some crossroads entity, but now the life you had been plopped in for the time being was the complete opposite of your previous one and you had not a single clue as to how to navigate it. 

You let out a few more huffs before standing back up and raking your fingers through your hair. A sudden sparkle of light caught your attention, causing you to pull your left hand free from your hair. There was an engagement ring and a wedding band on your left ring finger. You hissed at the sight of it, your entire body shuddering. 

You were married and a mother. 

“Are you fucking serious, Namjoon?!” You whispered to yourself in the bathroom, knocking your head back against the wall three times in frustration. Jenny would be having a field day if she knew about this. 

Jenny. 

You wondered what her reaction was, when she heard that you had flung yourself from your balcony. You wondered if she blamed herself for sending you home early even though it wasn’t her fault. You wished you could tell her you hadn’t done that to yourself, that it wasn’t her fault. You just hoped that she was okay and that she wasn’t crying over you. 

You could get through this, you had no other choice. It was time to get your shit together. 

You straightened your spine and shook out your hands with a deep breath before you unlocked the door and swung it open. Standing outside the door was your “son.” He was practically the spitting image of your “husband” who had yet to leave the bedroom. He was staring up at you, with big brown eyes, as he raised his arms up and clenched his hands in a grabbing motion. 

You knew what that meant. You plastered on a forced smile as you bent down and picked up the small boy before settling him on your hip. He easily nestled his head into the crook of your neck, his eyes fluttering shut as he basked in your warmth. 

At least he was cute, you could manage that.  

You curled your arm securely around his back as you walked into the kitchen, your bare feet padded dully against the cool tile of the floor. 

“Are you hungry?” You softly asked the little boy. You could feel him nod into your shoulder slowly, his fingers curling around the collar of your sleep shirt. 

You carefully unhooked him from your clothes and gently set him down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. He whined in refusal, reaching out for you once more before becoming distracted by a coloring book that had been left at the table. 

Unsure as to what exactly you should make for the young boy, you searched the kitchen cabinets before settling on toast. Simple and easy. As the bread sat toasting, you decided to investigate the new environment you had been put in. 

You could tell you were still in the city, just a different section of it. You could see the towering skyscrapers through the windows of the apartment. This apartment was definitely not your own. For one, it was much smaller with a completely different layout. And, it looked to be in disorder with toys scattered everywhere in the living space. It certainly was not to your standards, but you could manage it for a few weeks as Namjoon had instructed. All you had to do was follow this life perfectly, and it couldn’t be that hard. Right?

You pulled yourself away from the windows, the drop off sending a familiar shiver down your spine, and rushed back into the kitchen to finish up the breakfast for the boy coloring away furiously at his book. 

Once you had the plate situated in front of him, you caught sight of a wallet on the opposite side of the table. Without hesitation you rounded the table and snatched it up, rifling through the items inside until you caught sight of what you were looking for. An ID. 

“Jung Hoseok.” You mumbled, the name tingling on your lips and echoing in your mind. So, this was your temporary husband. 

“What are you doing?” A voice asked from behind you causing you to jump in fright. 

You pivoted on your heels to face the man, your husband, Hoseok. Despite the fear his voice evoked in your body, he was presenting you with a blinding smile. One that sent chills throughout your body for reasons that were unknown to you. 

“Hoseok?” You said, although it sounded more like a question. 

“Hoseok?” He chuckled, “What did I do, am I in trouble? What happened to Hobi or hunny?” 

Well shit, you were already fucking things up weren’t you?

“You know if you need anything you can always ask me, baby. No need to go sneaking around.” He said, his smile still pinned to his cheeks as he struck you with a penetrating gaze.

He said nothing for a moment, he just stared at you with that smile in absolute silence. It was so quiet you could hear the blood pulsing through your ears and the soft ticking of the clock in the corner of the room as you tried to avoid his gaze. Despite the high position you once held in your previous life, you had never been very good with eye contact. He was really testing you today. 

He remained quiet as he grabbed the wallet from your hand and slipped it into his pants pocket before straightening his jacket out. 

“Jihoon, you’re going to be late for school. Go get ready.” Hoseok said, his voice and face still appearing cheerful as the little boy shuffled out of his chair and darted down the hallway to his bedroom. 

You didn’t know why, but you were struck with the feeling that something was very wrong here. 

You remained motionless as Hoseok raised his hand, cupping the side of your face rather gently, much softer than you originally expected. 

“You’ll be good for me while I’m gone, won’t you baby?” He whispered, his lips lightly brushing your cheekbone as his fingers gently swiped over the smooth skin of your cheek. 

You said nothing, you merely nodded in agreement so that he would finally release you and leave you alone to process what you had gotten yourself into. 

Without warning, he pressed his lips to your own in a hard kiss spurring a cry of surprise from you. You attempted to pull away from him only to find his hand at your back, keeping you pressed close to him as he sighed against your mouth, a shudder shaking through his body. His grip was becoming stronger, borderline bruising the more you squirmed against him as he tongue swiped over the flesh of your lower lip. 

“Ew! Daddy!” Jihoon yelled as he reentered the room, fully dressed for school with his little backpack slung over his small shoulders.

Hoseok pulled away from you with a laugh, allowing you to stumble away from your supposed husband, your hand cupping your mouth. You took back whatever you had thought about Jihoon before, he was your saving grace. 

“Sorry buddy, Daddy just loves Mommy so much!” Hoseok said, his voice full of glee as he gave his son a quick hug before standing up again. “I’ll see you after work.”

Hoseok headed to the door, stopping for a moment to look you over one last time. “I’ll be seeing you later as well.” He said with a wink before exiting the apartment.

Thank fuck he was gone. 

Jihoon quickly approached the now closed door, sliding his shoes on and reaching for the door knob. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” You asked as you watched the young boy open the door.

“School?” He asked slowly, his little brows furrowed in confusion. 

“By yourself? No, give me a minute to get dressed. I'll walk you to the bus.”

“Mommy, you can’t!” He cried, causing you to come to a stop. 

“I can’t? And why not?” 

“Because, you never do.” He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

What kind of mother was this person? She didn’t even walk her own kid to the bus to make sure he didn’t get kidnapped? Jihoon was so young, he couldn’t have been older than six by the looks of him. He was practically still a baby. 

“Well I am now, wait right there Jihoon.”

You were still dressed in the baggy T-shirt you had woken in, the fabric rumpled and hanging loosely over your shoulders revealed a fraction of your collarbone. It didn’t take a genius to figure out this was Hoseok’s shirt. You hissed in annoyance and ripped the shirt from your body, filing it into a corner of the bedroom. 

The closet was filled to the brim with clothes, both yours and your “husband’s.” You swept the various suits and shirts aside until you stopped at your own clothes. You found it strange the amount of formal attire Hoseok possessed and your lack of it. Your side of the closet was filled with comfortable clothes, the only “formal” attire you owned was a wedding dress tucked all the way in the back of the closet and stored away in a plastic case. 

You sighed in frustration, settling on a pair of leggings and a large hoodie. One that was, presumably, your husbands as well. Did this woman have no desire to take pride in her appearance? Apparently not. 

“Come on, Jihoon!” You called with a clap of your hands as you made your way to the front door where he waited, his small hands wrapped around the straps of his backpack. 

Jihoon didn’t say anything in response, he merely held up his hand and slipped it into your own. He was a cute kid, a perfect reflection of Hoseok, but eerily enough you could see your own features reflected in him. 

You released a deep breath through your nose, pushing those thoughts to the back of your head. You needed to focus on getting him to school for now. 

The door clicked shut behind you as the two of you began making your way out of the building. The weather was still warm, not that much different from what it had been in your past life. It was nice, being able to take in the fresh air for a moment and be able to process what exactly you were going through. 

Jihoon had taken the initiative for the both of you, considering you had no idea where the bus picked him up for school everyday. His hand was still clutched in your own, his arm outstretched as he walked quickly in front of you. He was talking a million miles per minute, the most random things leaving his mouth. And, just when he was about to get to the point, he would find something new to distract himself. 

“Oh, Mommy! Look at that butterfly!” He was painfully cute. 

“Oh, it’s very...pretty.” You said, unsurely. At first glance, the creature was beautiful. It’s wings wide yet delicate, painted with bright colors like paint splatters on a fresh canvas. But, it had a large chunk missing from it’s right wing. The injured wing fluttered every now and then with the gentle breeze. The poor thing was trapped in the flower bed it was lying in, it would never be able to fly again. 

You were pulled from your reverie as Jihoon tugged on your arm sharply. He beckoned you to lower yourself down to his height. As soon as you had settled down on your haunches he threw himself against you in a tight hug, squeezing you twice for good measure. 

“Bye Mommy, I love you!” He yelled before pressing a kiss to your cheek and turning on his heels, darting towards the school bus. 

You stayed there for a moment, your hand frozen on the spot he had left a kiss. So, that was what it was like to have a family. To have someone love you. You had never had that before. 

You rose back up to your feet, taking a moment to gather yourself back up again. You could see there was a park nearby, and getting yourself over there seemed like a good enough idea. You didn’t want to go back to the apartment just yet, you still had no idea what you were supposed to do. You didn’t like the thought of just waiting at “home” for Jihoon, or worse, Hoseok to come back. 

Jihoon was easy, predictable. But Hoseok, he was uncharted territory. A raging sea you didn’t know how to navigate. 

Damn you and your incapability to foster stable relationships. 

It was only day one of this temporary life and you were completely out of your depth. A husband? A son? A stay at home mom? You had and were none of these things, but now you had every single one of them. Whether you wanted them or not. Namjoon gave you orders, and if you wanted to survive, you had no choice but to follow them. You had to play along.

You walked slowly, tiredly, through the park. The tips of your sneakers were dragging against the ground, kicking loose stones off to the side. A few weeks he had told you, just how long exactly was that? 

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the incoming footsteps approaching rapidly. It was the feeling of fingers gripping your shoulders and violently spinning you around that finally caught your attention, a cry of shock escaping you. 

“What are you doing?!” A voice cried, their hands shaking you to garner your attention. 

The sun that had blinded you finally lightened as it slipped behind a thick cover of clouds, disappearing out of sight. You could see now, and the man that was holding you so tightly was none other than Hoseok. 

“H-Hoseok?” You stuttered, your hands gripping his wrists as he ceased to lessen his hold on you. What was he doing here? He had left for work no longer than half an hour ago. 

“Did you hear me? I said, what are you doing?!”

“I’m going on a walk? I just dropped Jihoon off at the bus.” 

“You did what?!” He yelled, his face stricken with panic and a deep, hidden anger. His hold on you was only becoming stronger, near bruising as he shook you once more. 

“Hoseok! Stop it, you’re hurting me!” You yelled, taking a step back from him. 

That seemed to do the trick, his voice quieted and his hold became much lighter than before. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he acting like you had just committed a crime. 

His eyes slipped closed as he took a deep, calming breath, his shoulders rising and falling with the motion. “Baby, you don’t leave the apartment. You know this, we’ve been over this.”

“What?” You asked, utterly confused. 

This seemed to shock Hoseok, his brows raising and his eyes widening. The both of you were standing there, a gap between the two of you as you stared at one another with equal states of confusion. You not knowing what he meant, and him wondering if you were experiencing some sort of memory loss. 

“Come on, I’m taking you home, you need rest.” He finally said with a gentle smile, he was firmly set on the idea that you must be sick from how strange you were acting. 

You didn’t trust him or that fake smile he was giving you. Something was going on here, and it was terribly wrong.

“No.” You said firmly, taking a step backward when he tried to grab hold of you again. 

His smile drifted away, it was like watching the moon slip over the sun into a solar eclipse. The Hoseok you were left with was one that had a cold, stricken expression that bled disbelief. 

“What did you say?” He asked you, slowly. 

“I said, no.” You spat back, your voice sharp and firm despite the tingles of fear and anxiety creeping through every muscle in your body. 

This look on his face, although more genuine than anything else you had seen, was capable of sending your entire body into a panicked frenzy. Something in the back of your mind was telling you, no, begging you to run. The instincts that had been fostered in you from generations before were telling you this man was dangerous, and you were better off fleeing than sticking around to see what would happen. 

“I dare you, say that to me one more time baby and you won’t like what happens next.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Hoseok.”

That did it. As soon as he took one step in your direction, you spun around and booked it like a track star. You paid no mind to where you were going, not caring who you had to shove aside to clear a path for you to get away. You were trusting your gut, and it was screaming at you to get as far away as possible. You could hear Hoseok behind you, yelling your name and telling you to come back, but you paid him no mind. You just knew that this was your one and only chance to get away from him before you lost it. 

Everything he had said and done had raised red flags in your mind, the way he talked to you and touched you, it was all wrong. It was possessive and dark, whether he intended it to be or not. 

What husband doesn’t allow their wife to leave their home? What father lets their six year old child walk themselves to school? What caring man demands you obey his every will? There was something wrong. 

You couldn’t hear Hoseok behind you anymore, the crowd had thickened substantially the further away you got from the park and the deeper into the city you were. People were staring at you strangely as you shoved through the crowds, grunting in annoyance as you squeezed yourself through them. 

The crosswalk was fairly empty, you could make it through and keep going, you had no time to stop and question how far away Hoseok was. So, you broke through the final band of people and began to sprint through the road, despite the sudden cries and warnings that were being shouted behind you. 

Fuck, there was a reason the crosswalk was empty, wasn’t there?

You turned your head to the side as you ran, only to come face to face with an oncoming car, coming in so fast you knew it wouldn’t be able to stop. No matter what you did, it was going to hit you. You threw your arms up in front of your face, blinding yourself as you squeezed your eyes shut and prepared yourself for the impact.

But it never came. 

“Day one and you’re already fucking things up, aren’t you?” 

The sounds of the city had fallen silent, there were no more car horns, no people talking, nothing. It was dead quiet. You slowly peeled your arms away from your face and opened your eyes.

Namjoon was there, still dressed in that three piece suit of his as he leaned up against the hood of the car that had almost hit you. He looked beyond pissed with you. You looked around, taking notice of your environment. There were people still looking at you, their faces frozen in shock and horror. There was a bird above you, it’s body frozen in midair with its wings spread wide open. And there was a little girl on the corner of the street, her popsicle stuck freefalling a foot above the ground. 

Time had been suspended.

“Namjoon! You don’t understand, this life you put me in, I can’t do it! I’m not a wife or a mother, I can’t do it! And my husband? There’s something wrong with him, I don’t know what but he isn’t right in the head.”

Namjoon rolled his head back, a sharp sigh leaving his lips before he righted himself and pressed his fingers to his temples. 

“You need to go back.” He simply said, his frustration evident.

“I just told you I can’t -”

“It’s either you go back to him and play house for a few fucking weeks, or I take you back to the crossroads and process you!” He snapped. 

You jumped in surprise at the sudden intensity of his voice. When you had first met Namjoon he was calm, collected, even a little embarrassed at the mess up that had occurred. Now, he was frustrated. 

“I told you before, you need to follow this life perfectly, you cannot let anyone know that anything is amiss. That means you need to be Jihoon’s mother and Hoseok’s wife. Whether you like it or not, that’s reality. So, you need to decide right now what you are going to do. Are you going to grin and bear it for a few measly weeks, or are we both leaving right now?”

You remained quiet for a moment. You already knew what your answer was going to be before you even opened your mouth. You needed to stop panicking and start thinking efficiently. What was a few weeks of unease and fear in comparison to years of your life you would gain in return. It was a good investment. 

“I’ll do it.” You finally said. 

“Good,” Namjoon breathed a sigh of relief as he popped off the hood of the car, “No more fuck ups, for my sake and yours.”

And then he was gone, disappeared into thin air. 

The world was moving around you again, and you were no longer standing on the crosswalk but instead in the middle of the sidewalk as the crowd of people that were previously waiting to cross the road dissipated and made their way to the other side.

And then, those same hands were on you again, but this time they pulled you into a warm chest, crushing you like a boa constrictor in a desperate hug. 

“You scared the shit out of me!” Hoseok cried, his hand settling on the back of your neck as he pulled your head into the space between his neck and shoulder. 

How ironic, you had scared him. 

~~~~~~~

Hoseok hadn’t even taken the risk of walking you back home, instead he flagged down a taxi and ushered the both of you into the back seat. The ride was spent in silence between the two of you. You sat there, the side of your head pressed against the window as you listened to the music from the radio and the feeling of Hoseok’s hand on your thigh keeping you immobile. 

You allowed him to grip your wrist when the cab arrived outside your apartment and when he dragged you back inside. It seemed so much darker now after you had been outside. You really didn’t want to be trapped in that small apartment with just you and him and no Jihoon to protect you. 

His hold didn’t lighten until he had dragged you into the bedroom you had woken up in the morning. It was then that he pressed his hand against your shoulders and shoved you backwards on the bed, quickly climbing on top of you as you began to flail your limbs wildly in surprise. 

“Calm down, hunny.” He cooed, a genuine, sadistic smile on his face now. All the other smiles before had been so fake now that you had seen this one. This one was beyond thrilled. 

You flinched as you felt cold metal encircle your wrist and snap shut. He had you handcuffed to the bed, there was no running away now that was for sure.

Your heart was thumping frantically in your chest, your limbs shaking as the adrenaline that had once faded was flooding through you again. Your instincts had been dead on accurate, you should have kept running when you had the chance.

“Baby, baby, baby,” He laughed, tilting his head to the side as his eyes shone with glee. “I haven’t seen you in so long, I thought you were gone.”

You were shaking beneath him as his eyes traced over every inch on your body, his fingers playing with the loose strands of your hair. 

“You’ve been acting so different today, almost like how you were when we first met all those years ago.” He hummed, his face pressing closer to yours as he lightly brushed his lips down the side of your cheek before stopping to press a kiss at the curve of your jaw. 

You flinched to the side in discomfort, spurring a delighted giggle from his lips. 

“As fun as it is to have you like this again, that doesn’t mean I can let your bad behavior go unpunished. You left without my permission and you said no to me, I can’t have that baby, I just can’t.” He sighed, the puff of air against your flesh spurring goosebumps to rise in response. 

“So, be a good little girl for me, and don’t move.” He instructed, pressing a lazy kiss to the bared column of your throat.

“You’re in timeout, a couple hours to yourself should help you think long and hard about what you did today.” He laughed, pulling himself off of you and retreating towards the bedroom door. 

“I’d think of a good way to apologize to me if I were you.”

And then he was gone. Once the door shut you could feel your heartbeat steadily falling and returning to normal. “Play house,” Namjoon had said, “Grin and bear it,” he told you. You weren’t so sure if those sentiments applied to your situation anymore. 

It was confirmed, you were married to a sadistic sociopath. 

Hoseok had left you chained to the bed for hours on end like the asshole that he was. You were rightfully scared of him, like you had previously thought, he was unpredictable. One moment he was kind and gentle and the next he was angry and after that he was filled with a corrosive glee.

How were you supposed to make it through the next few weeks like this? It was impossible. 

All you could do was lay there, stewing in anxiety as you were drowning in your never ending stream of thoughts about your fate at the hands of your so-called husband. 

By the time you heard the front door unlocking the sunlight had completely shifted in the room. The light was now entering at a different angle casting long, dark shadows over the room. It looked like the light was being chased away by the tendrils of darkness curling at its soft edges. 

You could hear a loud thud coming from the main room and the sound of little footsteps approaching the bedroom quickly. 

“Mommy!” A voice called before the door was shoved open. Jihoon. “Found you!” He giggled, kicking his shoes off before scrambling up the side of the bed and crawling over to you on all fours. 

Jihoon seemed undeterred by the sight of your wrist bound to the headboard behind you as he curled up against your side, his head resting on your shoulder as he wrapped his small arms around you. A chill traced its way up your spine, this wasn’t the first time he had seen his mother like this. No, this was common for him. 

Jihoon was already prattling endlessly about his day, much like he had on the way to the school bus that morning. His chatter suddenly came to a stop as he ran out of things to say, instead he let out a little hum and asked you: “Daddy put you in time out?”

“Yeah, Jihoon, Mommy’s in time out.” You replied, your jaw clenched and your eyes pressed shut. 

“I told you, you can’t leave. Daddy always finds you.” He said, nodding his head in agreement with himself as he began to play with your hair.

Your eyes snapped open, you head turning to the side to look at Jihoon. That definitely meant something, didn’t it? In fact, how had Hoseok found you at the park in the first place? Or on the sidewalk you had run to?

“Jihoon...how does Daddy find Mommy?” You asked him.

Jihoon continued to play with your hair, his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as he twisted and knotted your hair in a sloppy braid. “Your boo boo.”

“My boo boo?” 

Jihoon stopped his shaky braiding for a moment, meeting your eyes as he grabbed your free hand and led it to the back of your neck. That was when you felt it. 

Right there, at the nape of your neck, was a small bump beneath the flesh. You smoothed your finger over it a few more times in disbelief, making sure that what you were feeling was actually real. 

He had microchipped you, like a dog. 

A pit settled itself into your stomach as the reality of your situation finally hit you. The life you had been injected in was far more dark and twisted than you had first thought. This went beyond overprotectiveness and time outs, this was a clear show of obsession and possessiveness. In Hoseok’s eyes, you belonged to him. 

And, upon having that realization, your husband returned home from work. 

The bedroom door had been left wide open, giving you a clear view of Hoseok entering the apartment as he shimmied his jacket off of his shoulders and loosened his tie. Your arm curled around Jihoon tighter, pressing him even closer to your side like he was a life preserver, the only thing keeping you from being dragged down into the dark trenches of the sea. He felt safe to you. 

The minute Hoseok looked up and caught sight of the two of you, the bleak and tired look that adorned his features drifted away and was replaced by that same fake smile, the one that never reached his eyes but lit up his entire face. 

“There’s my two most favorite people in the world!” He called, pulling a laugh from Jihoon who raised his arms up in a gesture suggesting he wanted Hoseok to hold him. 

Traitor. 

Hoseok bounded into the room, lifting Jihoon up from underneath his arms and spinning him around before settling himself on the bed beside you with Jihoon on his chest, excited giggles shaking his entire body. 

It startled you how normal this would have looked from the outside, minus your hand being cuffed. To anyone else it could have looked like any other family spending time together after a long day. A stay at home mother with her busy husband and their young son. Oh, how far that was from the truth. 

“You hungry, buddy?” Hoseok asked, tickling his son's sides. “How about take out tonight?”

“Yeah!” Jihoon agreed enthusiastically. 

“What do you think, Mommy?” Hoseok asked you, pivoting his head to the side, his dark eyes fixing you to your spot. 

Play along. 

“That sounds good.” You nodded, attempting to do some damage control from your actions earlier that day. 

“Good answer baby,” Hoseok smiled, popping Jihoon off of him as he slid over to you, fishing the keys to the handcuffs out of his back pocket. His thumb gently stroked the reddened flesh of your bound wrist before freeing it. He held your wrist in his hand for a moment before pressing a long kiss to the irritated flesh. 

“Behave.” He whispered into your skin, looking up at you through half lidded eyes before he flipped his switch again and bounced off of the bed in glee. “C’mon Jihoon, you can pick where we order from!”

~~~~~~~

The air had been thick with tension for the rest of the night, unbeknownst to Jihoon who was too excited to be with both of his parents to realize that there was anything wrong. 

Jihoon had become a buffer between you and Hoseok, the little boy seating himself between the two of you on the couch with his food in hand while his legs kicked back and forth excitedly. A little hum of happiness left him with each bite of his food, completely oblivious to the dark look Hoseok was sending you over his head. 

You had somehow managed to equally piss him off and excite him all in one day. You were scared of what it would be like when Jihoon had to inevitably go to bed, he wouldn’t be there to protect you anymore. 

There were few things you had been scared of in your previous life, and they were normal things for a person of your stature. You had been scared of being mugged, being kidnapped for ransom, having someone break into your apartment, or becoming a disappointment to your family. 

Most of those things could have been remedied with a bodyguard. Never in your entire life did you ever think you would come to rely on a six year old boy, your “son,” to be your protection.  It was strange how much could change, all in the course of one night, one mistake. 

Once again, you had found yourself cradling Jihoon to your side, his body relaxing under your touch as he snuggled up against you. He gently guided your hand away from your lap, and onto his head, a sign that he wanted you to play with the short strands of hair. 

You pulled your hands away from your legs and allowed your son to lay his head down as you softly stroked his hair in a calming, soothing motion. The light of the television was flickering, casting a blue glow onto his young features. His eyes had fluttered shut, his long lashes casting smooth shadows against the skin beneath his eyes. His breath was coming out slower now beneath your touch, the rise and fall of his chest becoming slower and deeper than before. 

Jenny had been right about one thing, you would have had cute children. When you went back, a part of you was certain that you would miss Jihoon. Your little protector. 

You jolted at Hoseok’s unexpected touch, his arm sliding behind your shoulders as he moved closer to you on the couch. An annoyed whine sounded from Jihoon at the sudden motion causing him to press his face against your legs in an attempt to escape whatever was disrupting his sleep. 

Hoseok leaned closer, his warmth seeping into your side. He joined your hand on Jihoon’s head, lightly smoothing over his hair before speaking. “I think it’s time for bed, little man.”

“Noooo!” Jihoon whined, “I wanna stay with Mommy.” 

“Not tonight, buddy. You need to be a big boy and sleep in your own bed.”

“I don’t wanna!” He cried. 

Sensing an impending tantrum, Hoseok scooped Jihoon up into his arms and cradled him to his chest. He started rubbing his back in slow motions, bouncing lightly with each step that he took. Miraculously, you could see Jihoon’s eyes begin to droop shut, his fatigue returning in full blast. 

Your parents never did that for you. 

You watched as Hoseok retreated into Jihoon’s room, presumably to get him ready for bed.

Shit, your bodyguard was falling asleep. 

Your body moved before you could think, flinging itself from the couch and sprinting for the bedroom. You couldn’t think of what to do, you knew that as soon as Hoseok was done with Jihoon he was going to come after you and you didn’t know what to expect. So, you did what any other grown woman would do. 

You hid under the covers. 

Your heart was beating loudly in your chest, the sound echoing through your ears as you squeezed your eyes shut in fright. All you could do what lay there and wait for him, you were doing nothing but delaying the inevitable. 

When you heard his footsteps rounding the corner you tried to slow your breathing, forcing your chest to rise and fall slower to make it seem like you had fallen asleep. If he bought it, then maybe he would leave you alone. 

Unlikely. 

He did the exact opposite. You could hear him close the door behind him, shuffling around the room as he got ready for bed. Your breath hitched in your throat as the lights flickered off, and the mattress dipped beside you from his weight. 

It was dead silent in that pitch black room, the only sounds you could hear were the ringing in your ears, your breaths, and his. 

You flinched in surprise when he latched onto you, dragging you backwards into the warmth of his bare chest. 

You tried your best to remain calm, to breathe lightly, and to not move. But Hoseok was no idiot, and you were daft if you thought you could fool him. 

“I know you’re awake.” He whispered, his nose pressing against your hair as he took in a deep breath, sending a sharp chill down your spine. 

He remained quiet for a moment, his arms wrapping tighter around your body. The feeling was the same as if a boa constrictor was curling around you. Slowly increasing the pressure, tightening its grasp in an attempt to squeeze the life out of you. Slow, calculating, and intimate. 

The arm that had looped around your middle lightly drew backwards, allowing his hand to slide beneath your shirt and rest on the bare skin of your waist. 

“I think I know a way you can make it up to me.” He mumbled with his lips pressed against your throat. 

His palm smoothed over the skin of your lower abdomen, just above the hem of your underwear as he buried his head into the crook of your neck, lips and tongue tracing over the bared flesh. Like a little lamb you had found yourself caught in the jaws of the predator, one snap away from the clutches of death. 

You remained frozen from a blend of shock and fear, all sense of fight or flight leaving you and rendering you immobile. Every nerve in your body was screaming at you to move, to pull away, to throw yourself off of the bed. But your muscles were tense, frozen in a state of pure anxiety and fear, you knew nothing more than the thought of keeping still like a rabbit in the face of danger. 

He moved to the side, dragging you onto your back so he could settle himself on top of you. He braced himself with his arms on either side of you, caging you in with no room to escape. He gave you no warning of what he was thinking of doing, he merely swooped down and pressed his lips to your own. 

A muffled squeak rattled in your chest, your heart suddenly thudding louder than before like an alarm sounding to wake you up. Your hands moved first, sliding onto his chest and barely applying any force, struggling to push him back. His skin was warm and smooth against your palms, an alluring honey shade that you would have been enamored by like you had been that morning, had you not been exposed to his true nature. 

“Hoseok.” You said, finally breaking free of his kiss. 

Your call of his name had the exact opposite effect of what you had hoped. A deep groan rumbled in his chest as he pressed his hips against yours, effectively pinning you to the mattress beneath him. 

“Hoseok!” You tried again, trying to grab his attention. 

“That’s it baby, keep saying my name.” He sighed, expertly rolling his hips against yours. 

Oh. Oh no. 

The sudden wave of arousal that washed over you was unwelcomed and even more frightening than anything else. You weren’t even in control of yourself anymore, that was what his presence did to you. 

“Play along,” The words that Namjoon had told you were suddenly echoing in your mind. 

Your breath got caught in your throat as he pressed himself closer to you, you could feel the smooth roll of his hard length pressing against your core, light sparks of pleasure tingling throughout you. Shadows of fear still crept around in the back of your mind, the nape of your neck throbbing in a twisted reminder of the chip that lay beneath the skin. 

Hoseok was in his own world, hell bent on teasing you until he grew tired of it. He shifted his weight onto one arm allowing his hand to delicately trace up the length of your body. His fingers just barely brushed your thigh, trailing upwards to trace the hollows of your hips before settling on your waist and rising up over the barrel of your ribcage that was exposed so nicely for him from your arched spine. 

You were laying there, helpless for him, frozen from a state of arousal and fear that was blending perfectly into its own dark, tempting cocktail. You pressed your lips together firmly, smothering any whine that tried to force its way free from you when he pulled back, the motion of his hips stilling as he played with the hem of your shirt. You didn’t know if you wanted to yell at him to go away, or scold him for stopping. 

Either way, you didn’t have much say on the matter. 

He tilted his head from side to side, his dark eyes tracing over your form from head to toe. A small smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he watched the heavy rise and fall of your chest, your wrinkled shirt, and the way your thighs and hips jerked from the loss of his touch. You looked adorable to him, he couldn’t deny the powerful feeling it gave him to see you so helpless beneath him. He was sick, and he loved it. 

His fingers were still tracing the hem of your shirt, like he was contemplating removing it despite the both of you knowing it was inevitably going to come off. Hoseok was an impatient man, that much you could tell. He firmly gripped the bottom of your shirt and began to roll it up agonizingly slowly, that satisfied smirk still pinned to his handsome features. 

“Whaddya say, hunny? Should we give Jihoon a sibling?” He laughed, his tongue flicking out to swipe over his lower lip at the thought of getting to see you full with his child again. He would be a liar if he said the thought didn’t turn him on. 

All of the blood rushed to your face, your thighs tensing reflexively against him where he was settled between your legs. 

“Is that what you want?” He hummed, hands settling on your hips and roughly pulling you down the mattress against him. “You want me to fill you up again, sweetheart?” 

You didn’t get a chance to even consider answering his lewd question, a sudden shock of lighting and a deep roll of thunder caught the two of you off guard. The once pitch black room had been lit up by the blast of light, the windows shaking from the boom of thunder. 

And then, there was the sound of crying and little footsteps. 

Hoseok hung his head backwards in distress before rolling off of you with an annoyed whine echoing through the room. “God fucking dammit.”

“Mommy! Daddy!” Jihoon yelled before throwing the door open and scampering up over the foot of the bed, his little face wet with tears as he scrambled over the sheets and settled himself in between the two of you. 

If you had questioned it before, you weren’t questioning it now. Jihoon was your savior. 

“Jihoon, it’s just a little thunder, it’s nothing to be scared of.” Hoseok said, his voice a little sterner than normal, most likely from his case of blue balls. 

“It’s scary!” The little boy rebutted, “I wanna sleep with you!”

“Jihoon -”

“It’s okay you can sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight.” You cut Hoseok off, opening your arms for Jihoon to snuggle into. 

The look on Hoseok’s face would have been humorous if you didn’t know you were going to have to pay for it eventually. 

Everything came with a price, eventually. 

~~~~~~~

Hours melted into days, and days slowly migrated into weeks. You had begun to lose track of how much time you had spent in this other life of yours. But you knew you couldn’t stand it for much longer. 

You could handle Jihoon, you liked Jihoon, you could stand even being there because of him. Hoseok...he was another story. He never hid his true intentions from you, that was for sure. But the more time you spent trapped inside that apartment the more you began to feel like you were going to lose yourself.

Sometimes you could forget what Hoseok really was, and other times he made sure to remind you. In this life, whoever this person was before you took over, they had never left the apartment since Jihoon was born. That was six years of their life spent trapped within these walls with no one to talk to except for two people who were only home for a few short hours a day. 

It was isolating. It wasn’t unlike the lonely life you had lived before in those regards. 

You were trapped, chipped, and alone. Any attempt you had made to leave by yourself, for any reason, had been swiftly thwarted by Hoseok. The knowledge of the tracker embedded in your neck reminded you that there was no point in running anyways, he would always find you. 

You tried to remind yourself that this would all be worth it in the end, that you could handle these weeks if it meant getting your old life back. But as each week passed, you weren’t so sure that was true any more. 

You were in a cyclical hell that you couldn’t manage. 

You had opened the door one day at the sound of someone outside it, it had been a new neighbor, a young man with full lips and an unusual laugh. Your heart had soared at the opportunity of being able to speak to someone other than a six year old or your possessive husband, but that had been quickly thwarted. 

Hoseok had pulled you back into the apartment and exited into the hallway, shutting the door behind him with a grim glare.

You never spoke to that neighbor again. 

Hoseok had become more needy as each week passed and you had taken to sleeping in Jihoon’s bed with him as often as you could, feeling protected by the boy you called your son. But your distance didn’t help in any manner, Hoseok was becoming more aggressive and more irritable. Not with your son, never with your son, but with you. 

He grabbed onto you more, touched you more, kissed you harder, and eventually forced you back into sleeping in your bedroom. 

You faked an illness for a few days to keep him at bay. That was how you got to this point. He was desperate. 

Hoseok was taking you on a work trip, just you, without your son. It was a city or two over, you would be staying at a hotel and having dinner with his coworkers there that same day. He was a desperate man calling for desperate measures to be alone with his wife. That meant that you had no more excuses and no Jihoon to protect you. 

Jihoon had cried when you said you had to go away with Hoseok, he didn’t want to go and stay with Hoseok’s mother, he wanted you two. And that part of your heart that had grown to accommodate him was slowly breaking with each tear that rolled down his cheeks. 

You would be lying if you said you didn’t love him. 

You knew that you weren’t the best mother, you didn’t know what a good mother was like. Yours was efficient at best. So you dug down deep for what maternal instincts you had, held him close, dried his tears, and kissed his chubby cheeks. 

And you told him you loved him. The first person you ever loved. 

So, that was how you found yourself here, at a table with a bunch of boring men and their partners talking about their work with Hoseok’s hand gripping your thigh, his finger rubbing circles into the skin beneath the length of your dress. 

You were incredibly bored of this ordeal. All of these men were business executives and their concepts of how to run a business were rudimentary at best. It took everything in you to keep your mouth closed to not correct them in front of their higher ups and embarrass them for the everyday mistakes they were making. 

“Play along.” Namjoon had said, so that was what you did. 

Although you may be a mother now, you would always be a business woman and a successful one at that. They didn’t deserve your expertise. 

Your eyes lazily drifted away from the table, zoning out as their voices became reduced to a low rumble. And that was when you saw it, a flash of black fur and glowing jade eyes on the ledge outside the window. 

Taehyung. It was time. 

Your heart leapt with joy, a smile carving into your once stony expression. You could go home now, you could finally wake up from this nightmare. A sharp squeeze to your thigh grounded you, a pit rolling in your stomach. You had to get away from Hoseok. 

He was staring at you, confused by the sudden appearance of your joyful grin. 

You leaned close to him, whispering lowly, “I have to use the ladies room.”

“I’ll take you.” He replied, going to scoot his chair away from the table. 

You gripped his forearm, bringing him to a halt. “No, this is important for you, I’ll only be a moment.”

He stared at you in silence, assessing you and trying to figure out what you were getting at before he spoke. “Behave.”

You nodded quickly before excusing yourself from the table and rushing down the hallway. You had seen a large balcony on your way to the restaurant on the top floor, it was only a little ways away. 

As soon as you stepped foot onto the balcony, you saw him. Taehyung was there, resting on the balcony as the sun slowly drifted away behind a cover of clouds, a gentle rain was beginning to tap the marble floor beneath you. 

You approached him quickly, your heart pumping in time with the gentle rumble of thunder above you. Taehyung came to a stand on the railing, the sharp drop off beside him glaring at you. 

“We have to do it this way, again?” You asked, your hands wrapping around the railing beside him as you peered over. You were even higher now than you had been the first time, sharp tingles were shooting through your hands and feet as you stared down at the streets below. 

Taehyung stared at you in silence, his eyes blinking slowly twice. You would take that as a yes. 

So, you carefully sat yourself up on the railing and turned, allowing your feet to dangle over the ledge. You watched in horror as your heels slipped off and went plummeting down to the ground. It took them a long time to meet the pavement, it would be a long fall for you.

“Fuck, are all of you reapers this dramatic?” You hissed at the cat. He looked amused at your predicament. 

“Okay, let’s do this thing.” You huffed, reaching your hand out to touch the reapers silky midnight fur. 

And that was when you heard the panicked call of your name. You looked over your shoulder, your eyes meeting Hoseok’s. His face was ashen, his hands held up as he attempted to approach you. Your eyes caught sight of his phone held up in one of his hands, a blinking dot on a grid staring back at you. He had accessed your tracker. 

“Baby, what are you doing?” He asked you, taking small, slow steps in your direction. “Come here, let’s talk, okay?”

“You can’t stop me,” You replied, “I won’t do this any longer.”

“You don’t know what you're saying, you're just stressed and scared. We can get through this.”

“I know what I’m doing, Hoseok. I’m done, my time is up and I need to go.”

“And what about me? What about Jihoon?” 

Jihoon. A chill spread through your body, your eyes suddenly stinging. You didn’t know that would be the last time you would hug him or say goodbye. He didn’t know that was the last day he would have a mother. 

“Jihoon will be fine.” You said firmly, Taehyung was creeping closer to you now at the same pace that Hoseok was. Your time was coming to a close, Hoseok was trying to compete with death. It was obvious who was going to win.

“I won’t let you do this.” He snapped back, frustration, desperation and fear taking over him as he flung his phone aside and began to run to you. 

“You don’t own me.” You spat back.

And then you grabbed Taehyung and clutched him to your chest before slipping off the edge of the balcony, Hoseok’s fingers just brushing your skin before you plummeted off the side of the building. 

Death was easier. 

~~~~~~~

First, there was darkness. 

And then there was the sound of monitors beeping around you.

Your eyes felt as heavy as lead, refusing to open on your command. And for a small, brief moment, you were afraid that when you opened your eyes he would be there. You were afraid that you had missed the window and you were trapped with him again.

But when you did manage to open your eyes, the person sleeping in the chair beside you was Jenny. 

You did it. 

Everyone was surprised by your survival and your recovery. The fall you had should have shattered your bones, mashed your brain, drained you of your blood. But you survived with minimal injuries. Some people called it a miracle, others thought you were a medical mystery. 

And Jenny though you were stupid. 

“What the fuck were you doing on that ledge? Were you that drunk or are you just that fucking stupid!” She yelled through her tears. 

“Both.” You answered, your face completely deadpan as she rained down a series of hits to your arms in retaliation. 

You laughed through it until she finally calmed down, a huffing mess in her chair beside you. “In all honesty, there was a cat on my balcony and I was trying to save it.”

“Oh my god, you are that fucking stupid aren’t you?” She said, shaking her head. “If you want a cat’s attention you lure it with food you dumbass! You are the dumbest smart person I know.” She sighed into her hands. 

The two of you remained quiet for a moment as she collected herself and you took in the room around you. There were no cards, no balloons, and no flowers. 

“So, I guess none of my family could clear some time in their busy schedules to come see me.” You said, quietly. 

Jenny raised her head, sympathy etched into the features of her face. “Do you want honesty, or do you want me to sugar coat it?”

You bit your lip in thought before making up your mind. “Honesty.”

Jenny took in a deep breath before scooting her plastic chair closer to your gurney. “Your family is...distancing themselves from you for the time being.”

“Distancing?” You echoed in confusion. 

“The media hasn’t taken too kindly to your...accident. Every tabloid is talking about the woman who has it all trying to throw it away. The public isn’t very happy with you at the moment.”

“The same wouldn’t be said if I had died.” You mumbled, because that was the truth. Nobody cared until it was far too late, their true intentions hiding beneath their masks of sorrow. It didn’t matter how much money you had, you had never been happy, and had your accident truly been an attempt well, maybe it was only a matter of time. 

“And what does my family think?”

“They aren’t too happy with you either. Your mother and father have put on a face for the public, wishing you a speedy recovery, but they left you a memo. They aren’t ready to speak with you yet, not until you do something to find your way back into their good graces. Your siblings, on the other hand, have said nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

You had forgotten how lonely this life was. Thoughts of Jihoon tugged at your heart strings, his little whispers of “I love you’s,” your after school snacks and cuddles, and the soft voice he used when he would wake you up in the morning with a gentle: “Mommy?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!” Jenny said quickly. 

Your brow wrinkled in confusion before you felt it, the cool, wet, glide of a tear rolling down the side of your cheek. You were crying. 

“It’s not you, Jenny. I’m just thinking about someone I love.”

~~~~~~~

You had returned to work almost immediately upon being discharged from the hospital. Jenny called you stupid, you called it trying to return to your only family. You knew you shouldn’t care about their opinion, not when they so clearly showed their disappointment in you and their lack of care. But they were all you had, they were your family, your blood. They made you what you were.

Right?

So there you were, back to wearing those red bottom heels, those tailored suits, and those glasses you hadn’t touched in so long, hidden behind your desk in your office. 

You had kept your cool and your composure when you entered the office, doing your best to show you were unfazed by the shocked stares and the hushed whispers between your employees. You kept your composure only to throw your office door shut and slump against it with panicked pants for air. 

No matter how hard you tried, you knew you were never going to be the same anymore. Not after your fall, not after the crossroads, and not after Hoseok. You were broken in ways you couldn’t even comprehend. 

Even now, sitting at your desk, eyes trained on your computer, your finger swept over the skin at the nape of your neck, mindlessly feeling for the bump, the tracker that was once buried there. You were only met with seamless skin and irritation from the constant rubbing. You wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up rubbing the back of your neck raw. 

A soft knock to your door had you sighing in relief, you needed some respite from the thoughts that were racing a million miles a minute in your mind. You were mentally exhausted from everything you had gone through. You removed your glasses, pressing your cool fingers to your eyes. Your hands were hurting again. 

There was a loud crash as the door clicked shut, the sound of liquid spilling violently all over the floor of your office and the thick, strong odor of coffee. And then, there was the shocked gasp of your name.

A familiar chill traced down your spine at the voice, your heart kicking into overdrive. No, it couldn’t be. You rose from your chair causing it to spin away, your breathing quickening as you began to panic. 

It was Hoseok, standing there in your office in a puddle of coffee.

Jenny’s words from all those weeks ago came flooding back into your mind. “The poor thing was so nervous, you really should be nicer to him. He has such a sweet smile…”

You stepped backwards in fear, your world suddenly crashing down on you in one fatal swoop. 

He called your name again, a similar panic on his face as he crossed the room in distress. “Please! You, you have to help me! I don’t know what's going on but it feels like my head is being torn apart!”

Tears were rushing down your cheeks in endless rivers now. You had walked so far backwards that you were pinned against the tall windows behind you with nowhere left to go. 

“I have two lives, two sets of memories running parallel in my head and I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t!”

You closed your eyes, your body shaking and shutting down the closer he got. And then his hands were on your shoulders, shaking you in his grasp as he began to hyperventilate. 

“Where’s Jihoon?! Where did he go?! He cried, his body trembling in tune with your own as he was bombarded with memories he knew and ones he didn’t. He was too close now, his body pressed tightly to your own in that same suffocating manner as he panicked, his mind being torn apart for reasons unknown to him, holding onto you to ground himself.

You were beginning to understand now amidst the haze of panic. Namjoon had said he was putting you in a different place, in a different time. He had never said in a different life. You hadn’t become someone else, you had been moved six years forward in time. Those painful weeks you had lived through with the guise of them being temporary had all been for absolutely nothing. You were doomed to live out the life you had been trapped in. 

It was fate.

“Where is our son?!”

[missymurphy1985]

The Medic (Part 8)

Warning - angst

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton

Back in Cillian's hotel room later, the two of you were talking about the messages. Trying to decide what to do, work out who the threat could have come from. Narrowing it down was difficult - every single cast member was on set this afternoon, there was no way of pinpointing who it could have been.

"Paul, Sophie and Tash were in the queue ahead of you, so it can't be them..." He said, sipping a glass of red wine while you stared at the photo on your phone.

"Could it have been Anna?"

"She was sat with Finn by the coffee machine, I remember the death stare she gave me."

"Yeah, about that. Was there anything going on with you two?" You asked, making him laugh.

"She tried. Unsuccessfully. She just wants to up her profile and get more screen time. Fucking an executive producer. She was shit faced at the wrap party last series and tried to kiss me when I took her back to her room. Left her on her own telling her I wasn't interested. She spread rumours around set that we hooked up - I can promise you we did nothing of the sort."

"I believe you. She's so not your type."

"I have a type now do I?"

"Yeah - quiet girls who don't kiss and tell. Non-famous. Low profile. Someone you can come home to at the end of a long day filming and be relaxed around. Someone normal."

"Do you tick all of those boxes y/n?"

"I think I do. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier.."

"No need. I didn't tell Helen though. She caught us behind the trailers after lunch. She told me off and slapped the back of my head for being a horny little schoolboy!"

You had to laugh - it was like being caught by the teacher snogging behind the bikesheds at school.

"Seriously, what are we going to do?"

"Whoever sent that has clear evidence that would either label me a sex pest at work, or destroy your career. We need to contact whoever it is making the threats. It's clearly someone on set. I have an idea."

*************************************************************

The following morning, Cillian called a mass team meeting for the final day of shooting. The series would be wrapped after this one, and due to everyone's schedules being so busy a wrap party hadn't been arranged until the following month, so he brought the cast and crew together with the illusion of it being a farewell and thank you to everyone. You were sat next to Kate as he delivered his speech.

Kate suddenly reached into her handbag and disappeared out the back, and your heart dropped. Cillian noticed it too but carried on with the end of his speech. Once he'd finished, and the room clapped and cheered, he excused himself and headed out to where Kate had left. You followed him, Helen close behind.

"You... You backstabbing little bitch!" You cried as Helen held you back. You wanted to tear her hair out.

"What?" She cried, backing away.

"Did your phone ring while you were in there?" Helen asked, as Cillian took your hand and held you close to him to stop you killing her.

"Yes..."

"Is it ringing now?" Helen asked, holding her own phone up as it rang the number that had messaged you both the day before. Her phone flashed up with an incoming call.

"Kate? Of all people... Why?" Cillian asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Because of YOU!!" she barked, staring straight at you.

"Me??"

"Yes you!! Perfect little you! Straight A student YOU!!! You always had to be one step ahead of me didn't you? Always had to be better! You know how long I've tried to get into Emergency medicine, and there you go applying for the position I wanted and you fucking got it, didn't you??"

"Kate, you didn't even tell me you'd applied for it!? If you had I'd never have gone for it!"

"Yes you fucking would! Just like everything else - you see something I want and you TAKE IT!" She looked at Cillian and then back at you.

"Kate you're married!"

"To a fucking loser! You KNEW I had a crush on him, and you couldn't resist could you? You said on the way up here that he wasn't even that good looking!! Took you less than 72 hours to fuck him though, didn't it? If I hadn't admitted I liked him you wouldn't have touched him with a bargepole and you fucking know it!"

"Okay well we've established that you're clinically insane at least..." You seethed. Helen took Kate to one side and talked to her alone. You couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Not that good looking huh?" Cillian whispered in your ear.

"Oh be quiet, I'd only ever watched one movie you were in and you were a plane riding terrorist."

Helen came back with Kate who still had a face like thunder.

"Give them the phone." Helen ordered and Kate, surprisingly handed it over. You took it and opened up the message app, deleting the photo. You also deleted it from her gallery. Cillian took the phone from you and threw it to the ground, stomping on it as hard as he could.

"That's what you get for calling the nice guy of Hollywood a fucking sexual predator," he spat. Kate looked at you both and you could see a mix of tears and anger in her eyes.

"Kate... I never once wanted to get one over on you. Never. There was a job coming up at the hospital next month that I was going to recommend you for! I was the one who helped you all the way through uni when you needed it. I was the one who told Dr Taylor to give you the job onset here! You didn't know any of that, did you?"

"You did that?"

"Yeah, I did. Now you've thrown away a perfect friendship because of some petty jealousy issues. Well done you."

"Y/n I'm sorry..."

"Take your 'sorry' and shove it up your arse. You nearly ruined us. Go to hell."

"Any more photos, footage, or stories even come close to the public eye and all three of us will sue you for slander. Understand?" Helen threatened, making Kate back down. She nodded, tears in her eyes as she walked away. Your legs buckled underneath you, Cillian catching you quickly as your emotions spilled out. You sobbed against his chest, nearly 20 years of friendship gone in the click of a camera. You'd never trust her again.

"Friends like that aren't worth it - she gets to live out her life without you in it, and you get to live yours with him in it. I think it's a pretty fair trade, don't you?" Helen soothed. Your tears easing, feeling him kiss the top of your head.

"Oh and I believe you know Doctor Taylor?" She said, making you turn to face her.

"He was my professor in med school.."

"Well he just happened to be my husband's cousin. I spoke to him about your little 'situation'. There's no issue here - you're not his doctor you're an onset medic - there's a big difference. You won't lose your license for this," she smiled.

"Really?"

"Really. He checked with the medical board - it's a non-issue."

With that Cillian scooped you up, and planted the biggest kiss on your lips, spinning you round.

"I don't have to hide now," he grinned as you laughed in his arms.

"Put her down Cill, we've still got a day of filming! And we only have one medic now so try not to hurt anyone, yeah?"

[skellebonez]

(kicks door down) INVERTED AU WITH PROMPT 72, SPECIFICALLY WITH MK

I’m not going to write out the ENTIRE TikTok so just. Watch an enjoy the madness that is B Dylan Hollis. It will make this fill so much more entertaining.

Don’t you dare.

Had it not been even a few weeks ago things would be almost completely on their normal “regular day with no special plans” schedule. Wake up, work, hang out with Pigsy and Tang, get Mei to have some fun, run off to Mount Huaguo for training with Sun Wukong, make sure the immortal Monkey King is taking care of himself, go home and sleep (a few gaps between each in case he needed to chuck a water bottle or granola bar at any of his friends and make sure they weren’t overworking themselves and if he came across anyone who needed his special brand of, as Macaque once called it, “aggressive self care affection”).

But no. Oh no. This was not a few weeks ago.

This was now, not even a month after the Lunar New Year Festival. Not even a month after he was finally introduced to the rest of Spider Queen’s family- plus one not so accidental addition who had decided it would be a fantastic idea to experiment on himself for funsies and “oops all spiders”.

Said addition stood, or rather half stood and half reclined on the mechnical legs protruding from his back, diligently typing away at his computer. The same computer he hadn’t stepped away from except to take a shower earlier in the day.

17 hours ago.

“Syntax,” MK said with the most gentle warning tone he could muster... which, to anyone unfamiliar with MK would sound like he spoke the human turned spider demon’s name like a threat. “Please tell me you have eaten more than a single calorie bar today.”

“I have eaten more than a single calorie bar today,” the scientist assured with a barely thrown over his shoulder smile in the younger man’s direction.

“Ok g-”

“I ate 2.”

The proud look on Syntax's face, as if he had figured out the loophole to end all loopholes, was a stark contrast to MK's expression of angry horror.

"You can't just eat TWO CALORIE BARS, Syntax!" He shouted, grabbing the scientist by his lab coat sleeve before starting to drag him out of the laboratory. If anyone was there to witness this they would find this feat impressive given how Syntax dug his mechanical legs into the floor in protest.

"I have survived on these so far and I will conti-"

"Survived, yeah, as a human," MK noted as he realized the other was simply allowing him to lead him along without a fight in the least. "But you're a spider demon... cyborg... guy now, you need more sustenance than that. And you needed more before!"

"3 bars?"

"NO MORE OF THE FUCKING BARS!"

The moment Syntax shrunk back in reaction to MK’s yelling the Monkie Kid took his chance and gripped the scientist’s sides and tossed the man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before breaking out into a sprint down the halls of Spider Queen’s lair.

“Don’t you dare!” Syntax yelped, attempting to free his arms or move his spider legs but gave up on the later and instead retracted them out of fear he might accidentally harm his captor. “I have work to finish, young man!”

“You can’t finish if you die of malnutrition, I’m teaching you how to cook!”

As they ran toward the entrance they passed Spider Queen who, upon realizing what was happening, gave them a calm wave and a smile.

“Make sure to have him back in time for you to get home before dark, MK!”

“EVEN MY QUEEN IS BETRAYING ME!”

~

Syntax eventually gave in. After all, despite his new enhancements he was still no match for the sheer strength of the Monkey King himself in the hands of a very determined young man with a hard line stance on self care.

And somehow this man decided he should be deposited in... his kitchen.

In front of a phone set up like... a camera.

Huh.

“Uh-”

“Hold that thought!” MK said, positioning Syntax just out of sight as he grabbed a cook book and hit record. “A bean PIE from the 1920s! Today we’re doing something different-” he reached over and grabbed Syntax’s arm, pulling him into frame without even a single change in his expression. “Today I have an assistant because SOMEONE doesn’t know how to EAT NUTRITION and needs more Vitamin B.”

As he let go of the scientist’s arm he turned to him, face as serious as a miscalculated formula when a project was due in 1 hour.

“OK, you’re the science dude. Let me tell you something from experience,” MK grabbed the cook book, holding it up. “Cooking IS science. And this science insists that BEANS can be made into a PIE which I think is bullshit and I am going to prove on camera. Until you learn how to eat things that aren’t instant bars, you are going to join me on my cooking science experiments. Understood?”

Truth me told, Syntax didn’t see the appeal in cooking. It was far too much hassle for something as basic as nutritional supplements you could acquire from far easier means that did not involve making a mess you had to clean up later... but...

The idea that cooking could be a science... that he had never considered before. And MK seemed to be pretty well convinced that he was correct in this assertion. This was part of why Syntax had, for a while now, considered reaching out to him with an offer of becoming his assistant. His tenacity and determination was something that was a great asset in the field of scientific discovery after all! And well...

If making a weird pie could get him into the young man’s good graces...

“Where do we start?”

~

MK held up a bowl of beans to the camera. “Now these took a long bath last night-” he turned to Syntax. “-I’ll splice in some footage from earlier here later-TIME TO COOK EM!”

~

“The pot,” Syntax noted, pointing to the pot on MK’s stove that had begun to over boil.

“AAGH!” MK yelped, sliding over from where he was grabbing his mixer. “BEAN REBELLION!”

~

“Eggie,” MK chuckled out, cracking an egg into the mixing bowl with the rest of the ingredients.

“How many eggs does it call for?” Syntax asked, trying to make sense out of the madness he was being witness to.

“How many? I don’t know, it just says EGGS.” MK gestured to the cookbook before them as if it has just insulted Pigsy himself to MK’s face.

~

“FORE!” MK yelled, closing his eyes and turning on the blender as Syntax held a frying pan in front of himself in preparation for disaster.

And disaster came... just not in the way either expected, as the blender sputtered and just.... stopped.

“... did you just kill my blender?” MK turned the knob on it, shaking it and tapping it gently. “HELLO?”

He shook it harder, twisting and turning the knob on the front wildly before he broke down into laughter. “THE BEANS KILLED MY BLENDER.” MK crossed his arms on the counter, laying his head down on them as he devolved into equally amused and annoyed cackles. “This has never happened before, how the hell!?”

“Well...” Syntax looked around, finding an induction blender sitting half buried on the opposite side of the counter. “Will this work?”

~

Finally. After waiting for the pie to bake. It was done.

A piece sat on a plate before both men, looking both intimidating and somehow delectable at the same time. But both were well away this concoction was primarily sugar, cinnamon, and BEANS. They looked at each other for a moment before nodding, each taking a fork full of the pit before shoving it into their mouths expecting the worst.

MK looked at Syntax as they chewed. Then the camera. Then he started to laugh through his bite as Syntax’s face went on a journey from “this tastes good” to “HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS TASTE GOOD”.

“Nothing makes sense anymore,” he moaned, gesturing to the pie slice before him as he began to laugh in disbelief.

“WHY ARE YOU GOOD?” Syntax asked, shaking his plate slightly. “You have a bag of BEANS in you!”

MK laughed harder, needing to put his plate on the counter as he needed to hold his sides from the pain of trying not to laugh louder than he was.

“This is like if tomato soup made a cake that tasted like chocolate!”

“I-It!” MK wheezed, holding up one hand to get the scientist’s attention. “It has!”

“I’M SORRY- WHAT!?”

~

“Yes? Oh, that’s fine dear! Yes, as long as he has somewhere to sleep and I know where he is- ... yes, we would love to try some when you escort him home tomorrow! Thank you, take care now,” Spider Queen said, smiling as she hung up the cell phone that Pigsy and Tang had no kindly helped her acquire.

“So, uh...” Huntsman asked, rubbing the back of his neck in concern and confusion. “What’s up?”

“Syntax will be spending the evening with MK!” She announced, smiling wide. “He’s taken up an interest in baking, apparently. Something about needing to unlock the secrets of tomato soup and beans.”

[bespokeprovocateur]

4-Tier Survival.

The tiers are as follows:

TIER ONE: This is your everyday carry (EDC) on person. You should have this with you 24/7 or as close to 24/7 as possible. Basically, if you have pants on, you should have these items with you.

TIER TWO: This is your EDC bag. You should have this with you or within reach 24/7. Take it with you to work, the grocery store, running to the gas station, etc. If you walk out the door of your house, it should be with you.

TIER THREE: This is your 72 hour kit, bug out bag, SHTF bag, or any of those other catchy names for them. At a minimum you need one. If you only have the funds for one, so be it. But, eventually I would suggest having one for the house, the vehicle and possibly at work if you have the space to store one.

TIER FOUR: This is for long term preparedness. This is long-term food and water storage and procurement methods. Always prepare your home to shelter-in-place first. Then, if you have a secondary bug out location, prepare it. Depending on the disaster or emergency you may or may not be able to bug out. On the other hand, you may be forced to evacuate or bug out.

TIER ONE: On-person EDC

Blades/Tools

Quality folding knife of your choice.

Quality multi-tool.

Lock picks/Bogota

Small compass.

Pen and small notepad

Small survival whistle.

Cotton bandana.

P-38 can opener.

Cell Phone.

Cordage

550 Cord. There are lots of different, creative ways to carry. There are bracelets, key fobs, zipper pulls, belts, even lacing your boots/shoes with it. Learn how to braid your own items.

Fire

Small brand name lighter

Small firesteel.

Tinder. Could be a magnesium rod, dryer lint, or any brand of quick tinder that is out on the market now, you should know what works.

Firearm

Light

Small flashlight.

Keychain LED light.

USB Drive

I use my USB drive to store all types of important documents and other information I run across and want to save. I have encrypted my USB drive in case it falls into the wrong hands. (I strongly suggest doing this.) Also, save the information under nondescript names. In other words, don’t save the file as: “Insurance Papers” or “Social Security Cards”, etc.

Birth/Marriage Certificates

Social Security Cards

Driver’s License

Insurance Policies/Cards

Vehicle Registrations/Insurance

Medical/Shot Record

Recent Check Stubs/Bank Statements

Stocks/Bonds

Property Description

Another option/addition to this is online file storage. There are many places available on the internet to store files on a remote server and be able to access from any computer or cell phone with internet access.

TIER TWO: EDC Bag
Tier two is going to contain pretty much everything from tier one except bigger and better.

Blades/Tools

Quality fixed blade knife of your choice. Again make sure it is sharp.

Sharpening stone.

Quality multi-tool. I would look at one to complement the one from tier one. A little larger and possibly features that the other does not have. I personally wouldn’t want the exact same model from tier one. Look at the ones that have the screwdriver possibilities.

Small entry bar or pry bar.

Larger more reliable compass. Possibly a GPS system if you are so inclined. If you are in a large urban environment, I would have a city map in my EDC bag.

Pens and notepad again. Plenty of pens and permanent markers.

P-51 can opener.(A scaled-up version of the P-38.)

Cell Phone/Communications

This is where I would keep a wall charger for my cell phone.

I would also think about one of the emergency chargers that run off of batteries at this point.

I also carry a pay-as-you go phone in my EDC bag. On some occasions when one service is down, others are still up and running. It’s a cheap insurance policy.

Radio of some sort. Depends on your location and abilities.

Cordage

I would carry no less than 25 feet of 550 cord in my EDC bag. The more the better. Again, options here, braid it to take up less space, key fobs, I’ve seen some braided water bottle carriers.

I would toss in some duct tape and electrical tape here. You can take it off of the cardboard roll and roll it onto itself and it takes up very little room.

Possibly some wire, picture hanging wire works well.

Possibly some zip ties. Various sizes as you see fit.

I also have a couple of carabiners clipped to my bag.

Fire

Another cheap lighter.

Larger firesteel.

More tinder. Personally I prefer the magnesium, but whatever you are comfortable with.

Firearm

I would however warrant the carrying of at least two spare magazines for the handgun in tier one.

First-Aid

Basic first aid kit.

Package of quick slotting agent.

Basic EMT shears.

Basic pain relievers, fever reducers, upset stomach tablets etc.

Small bottle of hand sanitizer.

Baby wipes.

Food

I always carry a couple of energy or meal replacement bars in my bag. If nothing else, I may have to work through lunch and need a snack.

Some people will toss a freeze-dried meal or MRE if they have room.

A small pack of hard candy.

Light

I personally prefer a headlamp at this stage. You can use a headlamp as a flashlight; you can’t use a flashlight as a headlamp.

Extra batteries. On the subject of batteries, do your best to acquire electronic items that use the same size of battery.

Another keychain light. I have one attached to the inside of my bag to aid in finding items inside in low-light situations.

Some people carry chemical light sticks in their EDC bag. I have found battery operated light sticks that also have a small flashlight in one end I prefer to carry.

Shelter

I keep a packable rain jacket at all times and depending on the weather a packable pair of rain pants.

I also keep a couple of “survival” blankets in my bag.

I keep a couple of contractor style garbage bags as well.

Water

I have a stainless steel water bottle that stays in my pack at all times. If I am traveling longer than my normal commute, I will toss in a small collapsible water container.

Ziploc bags.

Two-part chemical water purifier.

Filtering drinking straw.

Toss in a couple of standard coffee filters to filter sediment if needed.

Now, bear in mind, my EDC bag is not for long-term survival. I feel like I could sustain myself for several days if I needed to with the contents of my pack. However, that is not its intended use. All of the tiers are designed to sustain you until you can “make it” to the next tier.

TIER THREE: Larger rucksack or backpack

A lot of people would call this the 72 hour kit. However, I feel that in this stage of the game, you should be able to carry enough to survive indefinitely.

Blades/Tools

Quality fixed blade knife. If you want you can double up from tier two. Depends on your requirements. Remember, two is one, one is none.

Small quality folding shovel.

Quality hatchet.

Small machete.

Some type of saw or saw blades. .

Tools for forced entry if warranted. Pry bars, bolt cutters, etc.

Tool kit. Depends on your location and environment. At the bare minimum carry enough tools to repair anything that you are depending on in a survival situation.

Cell Phone/Communications

Depending on the level of the disaster cell phones may or may or may not be working.

Again, depending on your location and abilities, depends on the type of communications you should carry.

One thing I have not seen widely talked about is two way radios. Obviously this would be if more than one person is in your party. However, now you start talking about batteries and chargers.

Cordage

At least 100 feet of 550 cord.

Depending on your environment, climbing rope, harness and gear may be warranted.

Tape, electrical and duct.

Zip ties, various sizes

Wire, picture wire.

Carabiners, various sizes.

Fire

Cheap lighter.

Firesteel.

Tinder.

Camp stove. Small, lightweight, portable. A lot of good information about this out there. Pay special attention to the type of fuel that the stove you select uses.

Firearm

This depends on the type of situation you are in. I will list the types of firearms I would have, not necessarily carry, and reasons why. If this is a true bug out situation obviously the adults in your party could carry at least one, more than likely two, long guns.

We have already discussed a handgun.

“Modern Sporting Rifle”. Be it an AR based platform, an AK-47, Mini-14 etc. I personally like the AR platform. However, A’s can be a bit finicky if not properly cleaned and maintained. Something you may not be able to do well in a TEOTWAWKI situation. So, I would grab an AK-47. Whatever your budget and preference lead you to.

.22 caliber rifle. There are many options, I personally recommend the Ruger 10-22. There are several collapsible stocks available. This is for hunting small game.

Home defense shotgun. I would suggest a 12 gauge. The options and setups are endless. You can go as mild or as wild as your budget and imagination allow. This is not something I would necessarily always grab. However, this is something I feel that no home should be without. The sound of a shell racking into the chamber of a pump shotgun is a sound that will deter most people without even firing a shot.

Extra magazines and ammunition.

First-Aid

More advanced first aid kit. There are pre-made ones on the market or come up with your own.

Quick clotting agent.

EMT Shears.

Pain relievers, fever reducers, upset stomach pills, etc.

A week’s supply of any prescription medications.

Any supply of antibiotics or narcotics that you can procure.

Knowledge of natural/herbal remedies. Here is a great area where knowledge can help you a lot longer than supplies can.

Food

If you want to put in a three day supply of freeze-dried meals or MRE’s. Go for it. But here is where procuring your own food will come in handy.

I would suggest some type of mess style kit for cooking. Again, your choice.

Fishing kit. Fishing line, assortment of hooks, sinkers and artificial bait if desired.

Fishing “yo-yo” traps. Can be set and left alone to catch fish while you are doing some other task. I feel these are a necessity. They are light and take up little room.

Snare kit. I would suggest several pre-made snares and supplies to create more.

Traps. Connibear style traps, an assortment of sizes. 4-6 is all you should need.

Frog gigs. Could also be used for spearing fish, depending on your location.

You also have a firearm for taking small or large game.

Knowledge of wild edibles in your area or bug out location.

Light

Again, I would suggest a headlamp and extra batteries.

Use your discretion for what else you may want/need.

Shelter

Two changes of clothes. One for warm weather and one for cool/cold weather. Again depending on your environment.

I would suggest at least 3 pair of underwear and 6 pair of socks.

Packable rain gear.

Quality bivy style shelter or tarp.

Quality sleeping bag. Again, do some research. See what fits your needs and budget.

Sleeping pad if wanted.

Possibly a pocket style hammock.

Water

Stainless steel water bottle.

Chemical water treatment.

Water filter/purifier. Again, look at your budget and needs.

Coffee filters for straining out sediment.

Collapsible water storage.

TIER FOUR: Long term preparedness.
Even though this is the largest of all the tiers, I will probably go into the least amount of detail. There are many great sources of information concerning long term preparedness, SurvivalBlog.com being one of the best, if not the best, in my opinion.

Blades/Tools

Obviously any blade or tool previously discussed. Except full size versions.

An ax, saws, shovels, garden hoes, rakes, etc.

Possibly a plow, seeder, etc, for planting a garden.

Variety of hand tools.

Automotive tools, carpentry tools, etc.

Sewing machine, needles, thread, clothing patterns, etc.

Begin thinking of ways you can use your tools and knowledge to develop a skill that can be used for trade or barter.

Communication

Short wave radios, ham radios, etc.

Two way radios.

Cordage

Large amounts of any cordage or supplies under cordage already discussed.

Fire

Cast iron stove.

Fireplace.

Begin thinking now about how you will be heating your home in the winter. Think about how you will be cooking your meals. Also, think about how you will get fuel for your fire.

Firearms

We discussed in tier three the types of firearms I felt were needed.

Begin thinking about amount of ammo you can and are willing to stockpile.

Begin thinking about reloading your own ammunition. Begin thinking about stockpiling supplies. This can be turned into great bartering items.

First Aid

Begin developing a large first aid supply. Think about what you will need to do without a doctor present. Suture kits, surgical kit, trauma kit, etc. There will be no running to the emergency room.

Begin thinking about dental supplies. Again, there will possibly be no dentists to go to.

Again, knowledge is key in this situation. There are some good books about this type of thing. Take a first aid class, learn CPR. Learn as much as you possibly can.

Study about and begin stockpiling medications.

Food

There are many more articles to be written and read on this subject alone.

Start developing a small reserve of foods that you eat on a regular basis that have a long shelf life. Start with a week; go to a month, then three months, then a year, then longer.

Begin thinking now about storage. A year’s supply of food for your family will take up a considerable amount of space.

Expand on the amount of items you have from tier three. Increase the number of traps and snares you have.

Think about obtaining a variety of seeds to plant in your garden.

Again, there is a vast amount of information to be found on this subject alone. The main thing I want you to understand is this is doable, on any income. Start small and work your way up to larger quantities.

Do not get yourself into a financial burden by going out and buying a year’s supply of food at one time.

Light

Begin obtaining lanterns, fuel, mantles, etc.

Begin thinking about candles and candle making.

If you are so inclined, begin thinking about solar panels for your home or shelter location.

Shelter

Begin making those small repairs to your home. Things that may be fairly quickly and easily fixed now may not be so easily fixed later. I’m not talking kitchen remodeling; I’m talking leaky faucets, broken windows, drafty doors, etc.

Think about having a metal roof installed if you don’t have one already.

This is the time to think about a secondary survival location. A remote, rural location. Think of this as an investment. It could be used now as a vacation spot. Use it later as a retirement home.

Water

Begin storing water. Think not only about drinking, but also cooking and cleaning.

Again, start small. Begin with a few days worth; then weeks and months.

Start thinking about long-term procurement and storage. Gutters that empty into water storage, etc. Think also about purification on a large scale.

Miscellaneous Things to Thing About

Sit down and make a list of normal, everyday things that you do around your house, cleaning, washing, “personal” business, entertainment, etc.

[fanficbitch]

Aaron Hotchner // Disagreement

Aaron sighs. “You want some coffee?” he whispers in my ear.

“No thanks,” I say, but give his hand a squeeze before he gets up from the table. Given the fact that I have been up for 72 hours straight, I probably should have taken him up on that coffee. But I still have jitters from my last cup which was only an hour ago. 

The whole team sits at the conference room table in the BAU except for Reid who stands at the dry erase board. We have been busting our butts for the last three days trying to figure out where our unsub is hiding. I guess he isn’t really an unsub anymore because we know exactly who it is, Roger Hibbert. He has been kidnapping and killing women that are white, in their thirties with dark hair. No one has directly mentioned it, but that description fits me exactly. Because of that, I have been stuck at the BAU for the last three days while everyone else has gone to look for him.

We discovered who the unsub was because there was video footage of him in an alley kidnapping the latest victim, Kate Wheeler. We know he’s hiding somewhere in the city limits based on his drop sites and pick up locations. 

I sigh then rub the tiredness out of my eyes. There are at least a dozen files out on the table. I just finished looking over one with all the latest pictures of Hibbert. I grab a new one at random and see that it is a list of his belongings. He owns a house in east DC, but we’ve already searched the place and there’s no way he’s there. There are a few things listed on the page, car, motorcycle, the stuff we already knew about. But in back of the file is a page that he recently submitted to the Bank of DC. It’s for a small office space in a bad part of town.

Aaron sits down next to me with his steaming cup of coffee. “Find anything?” he asks me.

“I might have,” I say quietly. “Guys, did you see this office space application that was recently submitted?” I ask everyone.

I pass the file around so everyone can look at it. “Yeah, I remember it,” Morgan says. “We didn’t feel like it was worth checking out because the application was never approved.”

“He could still have access to the space,” I suggest and Morgan shrugs. 

“How?” Rossi asks.

“Maybe the application process was taking so long that the owner and Hibbert just did their work under the table,” I say and half of the team nods. Unfortunately, my boyfriend does not seem to agree. 

“That seems highly unlikely,” Aaron says. “We have no evidence that the owner and Hibbert even knew each other.”

“But that’s because we haven’t even looked into him,” I say as I stand up. “This has to be where he is keeping the victims!”

“Y/L/N, we can’t be jumping to conclusions,” Aaron says. “After all, this is an office building with multiple tenants. Someone would have had to notice.”

I look back at the file and see what I wanted to confirm; the space he rented was in the basement of the office building. “Look,” I say then throw the file at Aaron. “His space is in the basement. The people above him might not have any idea what he’s doing!”

Aaron considers all the information in front of him. But eventually he shakes his head. “No, we can’t raid an office space with at least a hundred people in it. Civilians could get hurt.”

“But this is the best lead we’ve had this whole case! We have to at least-,” I try to say, but Aaron interrupts me.

“I said no,” he says sternly. “I am not risking our lives and the lives of others for this weak of a lead.”

I ball my hands up into fists and let out an even sigh. “Hotch, can I talk to you in your office?”

He gets up as an answer and lets me follow him to his office. Once the door latches shut, I turn to Aaron. “How could you say no to this? It is the only chance to save Kate Wheeler’s life!”

Aaron scoffs. “That is not true. This “lead” you have come up with is weak and lacks evidence.”

“What’s the harm in going to check it out?” I ask.

“Civilians could get hurt in the process. It’s not worth the risk,” Aaron says. “Plus these things take time. We can’t just storm in there. I’ll look into the owner and see if he has a relation to Hibbert.”

“By the time you get that information it’ll be too late to save her!” I shout.

Aaron’s mouth tightens and he steps closer to me so we’re nose to nose. “I said no. You are not allowed to look into this lead and you are forbidden from going to that office space.”

“Forbidden?” I scoff then take a step back. “You aren’t in charge of me,” I say then head to the door.

“As your unit chief I am. And if you go to that office space, I will be forced to punish you for disobeying orders.”

“Oh yeah, like you’d hate that.”

“Y/N!” Aaron yells before I can open the door. “You don’t get special treatment because we are together.”

“I’m not asking for special treatment,” I say. “I’m asking to be treated as a capable agent, not some possible victim.”

With that, I storm out of his office and out of the BAU with one destination on my mind: Hibbert’s office space.

                                                        **********

I parked at least a mile away from Hibbert’s office building, but I have finally reached the place. I don’t know exactly what my plan is. I didn’t really think this far ahead. Usually when I am doing a raid, I have a team behind me. I couldn’t drag anyone else into this. Aaron already said I would be getting in trouble, I didn’t want anyone else getting in trouble because of me. 

I reach the back door of the building and give it a pull and to my surprise, it opens. I am at a staircase which I decide to go down. I hold my gun up as I go down the steps. I reach the basement and see an empty hallway. I go to the right, still holding up my gun. Each doorway I pass is empty. 

Suddenly, I get a chill. Maybe this was a bad idea. I lower my gun and put it back in my holster. As I turn to go back to the steps, I briefly see a man, but then I see darkness.

                                                          **********

I wake up on a cold, hard surface. My eyes slowly open and I see a very open room with another woman sitting across the room from me. I squeeze my eyes as I try to get a better look at her and I think it’s Kate Wheeler, but I can’t be sure. 

I try to focus on sitting up, but my head is pounding so hard that I can’t think straight. My hands are tied behind my back and my gun is missing. I know I should focus on staying awake, but I know Aaron is going to be so mad at me over this.

As I squirm to sit up, someone from behind me yanks me up by my hair which just worsens my headache. The person moved in front of me while still holding my hair and I recognize him as the unsub.

Things are blurry, but I can see that he’s holding my badge. “I expected better from the FBI,” he says then drops my head so it slams on the ground. “I know you didn’t plan on me getting the best of you, but I’m better than I look.”

“Someone will come for me,” I whisper. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugs. “I can work fast and you’re just my type. But I assume you already knew that. I’ll finish her and then I’ll be right with you,” he says with a wink. Hibbert turns and walks towards Kate.

“No!” I croak, but he doesn’t even look at me. He holds a knife to her throat and I squeeze my eyes shut. Suddenly, I hear a loud commotion and open my eyes again. Hibbert is still holding a knife to Kate’s neck, but my team busted into the room and are pointing their guns at him. 

“If I were you, I’d put that knife down,” Morgan says calmly. 

“I don’t think so. I have the upper hand here,” Hibbert says.

“Don’t make me show you that’s not true,” Morgan says. “Now put the knife down.”

Hibbert makes the slightest move, an attempt to cut Kate’s neck, but Morgan puts a bullet right through his head. I sigh. It’s finally over.

My boyfriend rushes over to me while everyone else rushes to Kate. “Y/N, Y/N, stay with me,” he says and cradles my head. “We need a medic!” he yells.

“Aaron?” I ask to confirm it’s him. 

“Yeah baby, I’m right here,” he says. And that is the last thing I remember because everything goes dark again.

                                                         **********

A soft beeping sound wakes me up. I open my eyes slowly to see that I’m in a hospital room. My head is still pounding, but I lift it up enough to look around the room. I see Aaron sitting in a chair next to my bed, scrolling through his phone. “Aaron,” I murmur. His head shoots up and he looks at me. He scoots his chair closer to my bed and he takes my hand. “What happened?”

“Well, we got Hibbert and Kate Wheeler is doing fine. I got to you and you passed out almost immediately,” he says.

“Aaron,” I say softly. “I’m sorry for-,”

“I know you’re not really sorry,” he says and he’s right. I’m not sorry for disobeying his orders, but I guess I am sorry for my execution. “I should’ve followed you. I knew better.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” I say.

“But I’m going to. I’m not leaving your side until you are 100% again,” he says.

I give him a small smile. “Are you still going to have to punish me?” I ask.

“We don’t have to talk about that now,” he says. “I just want you to get better.” 

I give him another smile. “You’re too good for me,” I tell him.

“I was going to say the same thing,” he says. Aaron gets up from the chair and places a soft kiss to my lips. He sits back down and gives my hand a kiss as well. This job may sometimes come between us, but nothing could suppress the love I have for this man. 

[pettyvxbes]

You Feel Like Coming Home - Colson Baker x Reader

This is my first time posting my writing on Tumblr, be gentle. 😂I decided to split this off into two parts. Mostly because I wanted to see if anyone would actually read/enjoy my work before I put more time into it.

PART I

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at LAX…." The pilots' voice flooded the cabin. You sat comfortably in seat 3A, rereading the most recent text messages between you and the tall blonde boy you had been "talking" to for almost a decade, Colson Baker. Many people knew him as Machine Gun Kelly.

You two had met through mutual friends and quickly hit it off. You were best friends with undeniable chemistry, which always left you teetering on the edge of something more, something real. You could blame it on timing, cause let's be honest, timing's a bitch. Or you could simply chalk it up to the unfortunate reality that you two never had a chance to be in the same city long enough for a real relationship to bloom. But that didn't stop either of you from trying. 

"Local time is 3 pm. We're looking at a lovely 70-degree day, clear skies with sunshine all around. Welcome to Los Angeles and as always, thank you for flying American."

The pilots' voice pulled you from your thoughts of the handsome man that would soon be gracing your presence. You toggled off airplane mode, and the first notification you received made your stomach flutter.

The plane was starting to deboard, so you decided to respond once you arrived at the hotel. You quickly slid your phone into the back pocket of your ripped jeans before grabbing your carry-on from the overhead compartment and exiting the aircraft.

After checking into the hotel, you took a quick shower to freshen up, making sure to snap a quick photo for Colson. You sat on the counter with your feet up, your messy wet hair flowing across your bare shoulder. Your knees blocked your exposed chest, and your feet were crossed at the ankle, keeping your center perfectly hidden from view. It was the definition of tease, and you knew it would drive him crazy.

After a few moments of no response, you started getting nervous. Letting all of your insecurities flood your mind. Overthinking was your downfall. You set your phone down and finished getting dressed. Trying to occupy your mind with something other than Colson and the outlandish idea that he, Richard Colson Baker, didn't like your nude photo. About 15 minutes later, your phone buzzed, startling you.

You laughed at his response. Wondering how he could be so cute even when he's making such a stupid face. Just as you started texting back, your phone started ringing. "Hello"

"I'd love to have your thighs wrapped around my head right now" He grinned, desire dripping from his husky voice.

"COLSON!"

"Y/n!" He mimicked, "You can't just send me shit like that and not expect me to feel some type of way" you chuckled at his forwardness. "Seriously, y/n, you just took my productivity in the studio to a zero. My entire attention has completely shifted to you, and I'm now hard as a rock. Thank you!"

"Sorry, I won't send one next time," You joked.

"Nooooooo!" His response was quick, almost cutting you off at the end of your sentence. "Always send them! I swear I would walk around with a boner for the rest of my life if it meant I got to see that every day."

"You're nuts," You laughed, opening the door for room service to drop off the extra pillows you had requested, but to your surprise, you were met with something much better.

"What about my nuts?" the tall, beautiful man you had just been on the phone with standing before you. You let the excitement take over your body, and without even thinking, you lunged toward him. Your legs were wrapped snugly around his waist and your arms around his neck. His hands found their way to your ass, assisting you as you clung to his lean body.

Colson stood in the doorway holding you for a moment, just enjoying you being wrapped around him. It had been too long since you were last in his arms, and at that moment, he realized how much he missed it.

"Fuck y/n, I missed you," He sighed, stepping into your room fully and letting the door fall closed behind him. You unburied your face from his neck and looked into his blue eyes. Before you could respond, his lips met yours, making your heart skip a beat. You kissed him in a way that would leave no doubt in his mind about the way you felt about him, how much you yearned for his presence. Colson let out a soft moan in response to the passionate kiss, making you smile.

"Alright, put some shoes on," He ordered as your perfectly manicured feet hit the floor. "I want to take you somewhere," He said. Hearing his voice was like the comforting sound of rain when you're trying to sleep; it made all of your anxieties and doubts vanish. However, actually being able to look into his eyes, feel his arms around you, and his lips on yours…that hit different; it felt like coming home

"Yes, sir."

"Be careful" He smirked. "You keep talking like that, and we're liable to not leave this room for the next 72 hours" He bit his lip as he watched you intently. He was in complete awe of your beauty. He looked at you the way you needed to be looked at. Like the whole world could crumble right then and there, but he still wouldn't blink.

💀

[finiteuniverse13]

Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

[whispsofkindness]

One of my good friends who is a nurse in my hometown sent me this message and man, is it a must read… (photo clearly not of her for anonymity).

“Man… I’ve had so many rough OD/drug related cases at work lately and telling people who don’t understand it from either an addict’s standpoint or the healthcare standpoint isn’t really as impactful. So here I am oversharing with you.

I walked into work on a weekday morning fairly recently to an intubated patient who was tied down, sedated, hooked up to every device in the ER, and 4 different types of IV sedatives because we could not keep them under (tolerance) and they kept trying to yank out the multiple important tubes that been placed into their body, from the IVs, to the Foley catheter in the bladder, to ET tube in the throat, the OG tube in the stomach, to the tube in the rectum, pulling on any of them was gonna be a bad time for everyone involved. I was unable to reach any family members on the phone. I delivered them to the ICU and told the tale that was told to me about their arrival in the ER, doing fentanyl until the verge of OD, narcaned themselves, then did enough meth to go into psychosis, at which point they showed up in the ER, where we were unable to subdue them with the traditional means, B52 shots and two Ketamine injections, so, they got tied down and sedated ALL THE WAY (to the point of needing mechanical ventilation) to keep them from hurting themselves or us. Keeping a person in active addiction sedated (without tanking their blood pressure and killing them) is a minute to minute job.

I take care of homeless folks everyday, most with mental health and addiction issues. Most of the time, all I can offer is a turkey sandwich and some fresh “Rehab Reeboks”, as one of my fave ER docs calls non-skid hospital/psych ward socks😂

We have a great peer counselor from Pathways, but it never feels like enough. And if they aren’t on a 72 hour hold, it’s impossible to get them to stay long enough to get any real help.

I recently took care of someone who had been drinking so hard for so long they were probably going to die without a liver transplant that they would never give them due to the drinking, the DTs were so bad I had to lead them back to their room 15 times in a 4 hour period, and then they crashed fast and we intubated in the ER, they were bleeding internally. They were a year younger than me… When I called report to ICU the accepting nurse told me they had recently lost a 29 year old alcoholic in basically the same shape.

Then there are the folks who got off the drugs years ago, only to develop life threatening complications like spinal abscesses directly related to past IV drug use. It’s always so hard to tell them that even though they are doing great at sobriety, we have to ship them out to a hospital with a neurosurgeon available because they might need spinal surgery because they have a life threatening condition. And probably end up giving them narcotic pain meds, because it’s excruciatingly painful wherever it’s located on the spine.

One week I narcaned 2 babies on two different nights. There is nothing as scary as the slow motion cry of a baby who got into papaw’s fentanyl…

I always tell people that I don’t care what they did (drug wise) or what crimes they may have committed or be wanted for, because I’m not calling the cops unless they try to hurt me or someone else in the ER. I just need to know so I can try to keep them alive, and I mean it. I mean, I’m occasionally impressed by the crazy tenacity of some drug use episodes (see the sedated patient I first mentioned), sometimes I have to tell somebody just to share the sadness, like when we lose one, and they’re still wearing a bracelet that says “we do recover” and I go lose my shit in the break room, because that place is always empty, but mostly, I just think about their families, their parents and grandparents, their children, their grandchildren. And how awful it might be to get that call that I occasionally have to make, telling them to get to the hospital as soon as possible, and they might still be too late.”

Source: Bradshaw

[sheadre]

When Stars Collide (Jackson Wang x Reader) Part 2/2

Part One

Warnings: none

Jackson’s PoV.

He stared at his phone as he sat in his living room. Jackson felt so restless a long time ago, his heart was always thumping hard against his chest whenever he saw a picture of her. She was beautiful and her laugh was music to his ears. It’s been a week since he took her home after wrapping up the song at the studio. Ever since she debuted in N3XUS she drew his attention to herself in every music video or variety show.

Fans pointed out how badly her bandmates treated her and how much she was ignored by both the other girls and the company. She posted a few acoustic versions of their songs on her Instagram which left many people dumbfounded why her company was treating her so poorly. She was more than just talented. Jackson knew that he might fall in love with her right after he walked into the studio. Her voice was mesmerizing and it expressed so many feelings. He couldn’t help but stare at her in awe through the glass window.

He kept thinking back to that kiss she pressed onto his cheek as she said goodbye. He never thought he would feel like this. Even when he was so in love with Alice, it couldn’t compare to that buzzing he felt around (Name). Jackson sighed leaning back into his couch pulling a pillow into his arms, hugging it tightly. Then his phone went off startling him.

“Ey, man, I’m coming over with some take-out” sounded Bam Bam’s voice from the other end. “Jinyoung’s with me too.”

“Will you ever stop acting like you can just walk in here like you own the place?” Jackson sighed but smiled. Even after years of GOT7 ending, they were still as close as ever. Soon his doorbell rang and when he opened it, Bam Bam walked inside like he owned the place. He hung his head as he chuckled but his worry and nervousness never eased. Why couldn’t he just text her? Why was he so nervous?

“Hey man, you look like someone kicked your puppy” Bam Bam turned back to him while Jinyoung took his shoes off. Jackson’s response was silence as he walked over to the counter and started unpacking the food. “Wait, did Alice contact you again? Did she call you again?”

“No… the last time she did, I blocked her” Jackson shook his head while turning to the cabinets so he could grab plates and silverware.

“Then what’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked and his expression showed his worry for his friend.

“Ah, it has to be a girl! Did you get a new girlfriend? One night stand? Anything? Have you gotten laid ever since…?” Bam Bam was immediately interested making Jackson roll his eyes again.

“I have no idea, okay?” Jackson groaned as he planted himself in his couch with a pout on his lips. “We were connecting, wrote a song but… I don’t know…”

“Why are you not calling her? Just find out if she’s into you, man” his friend plopped down next to him. “It’s been so long since you looked at a woman other than as a friend. You need to get laid.”

“That is the only thing you can think about?” Jackson hit Bam Bam with a pillow. “I have no idea what to say…”

“Just text her ‘hi’ and she will respond, the pick up lines are so lame anyway but you can try them if you want her to run to the other end of the planet” Jinyoung chimed in making Jackson look at him as evilly as possible. The conversation quickly turned towards what everyone was doing and other things. It was relaxing to just let go of all the busy work days for a while and think about anything and nothing at the same time.

Then later that night, Jackson grabbed his phone and typed in those two letters with a winky emoji. His heart jumped in his chest but he decided to just put his phone down and take a shower first. He was tired and would have a long day the other day. When he finished with the shower, a message was waiting for him.

Time skip ~

A months went by and to his delight, the company wanted him and (Name) to shoot an MV for the song they collaborated on. It was tiring but he was filled with energy as he danced with her. She was so mesmerizing in her costume, her dance moves so smooth like she was born to do this and he thought so in reality. Jackson ever since seeing her perform on stage during a concert or in a music video, he thought that she was a natural. Her moves and gestures looked so effortless compared to the other girls in her band.

However, he knew that if you were passionate about what you were doing, people could achieve more than they would ever dream of. He was certain that she would achieve all her goals and more leaving everyone mesmerized. Then they were asked to perform on the newest Idol Producer during the live concert. The hype around the two of them was already large, fans wanted them to be together so when they appeared and he kissed her on stage, the whole place seemed to explode. They both agreed to it especially after the company asked them to show more intimate for the fans. It was too easy and he felt like no one was around them, like there was only the two of them. It was so sweet and he wanted to hold her and never let go. Jackson could see the same thing in her eyes but the moment ended with the music and she broke out of her trance.

To his disappointment, she had to leave the scene right after their performance for an interview with Elle. After that, they both had little time to even just chat with him being in a different country. It was frustrating then Jackson was invited to an awards show where everything turned downhill. One of the actresses he never even met before tried to make small talk and get closer to him. The intentions were so obvious and the woman was looking so cheap, acting so cheap. Though, the gentleman in him kept being polite to her which she took as a green light to be more pushy. Yibo, noticed it but was too busy listening to a director talk to him to go over to them. Jackson wasn’t angry with Yibo for not helping him out, he was still young and that director was way more important than to leave him hanging. Then the actress was in his lap before he realized what was happening and of course many fans and paparazzi shot a ton of photos in different angles of them.

First time in his life, Jackson pushed a woman away and ran away in frustration. He knew that by the time he reached the hotel room, (Name) would’ve already seen the photos and the none existent stories with them. But he couldn’t give up, he couldn’t let her slip away. For weeks, he felt miserable because she didn’t answer any of his texts or calls. One night, when he just wanted to fall into bed and not wake up for the next 72 hours, he found a letter on his coffee table with a ticket to Seoul. He furrowed his eyebrows as he lifted the letter to read it properly.

Dear Mr. Wang,

It’s Sue, (Name)’s assistant. I’m writing to you because I am aware of the truth behind those pictures. I’ve seen your live stream two weeks ago in which you explained everything. (Name) refused to see it but I know that it is not late, she is very much in love with you. I’m not writing to you as her assistant but as her friend.

There is an airplane ticket for you for the flight that comes to Seoul from Shanghai at 11 pm. I will arrange everything so she will be home, here’s the code for her apartment complex’s gate. I hope you can come…

Jackson’s heart seemed to skip a beat as he processed the words. He grabbed his phone, some cash with his keys and called a cab. He had to reach the flight which would take off in two hours. Throughout the flight he was restless, thinking about a million ways what to say to her. He couldn’t lose her. No one made him feel this way before, get under his skin, fill him with energy and make him giddy. Getting to her apartment was easy but knocking on her door was harder. Jackson stood there with a dry mouth and blinked a few times before he groaned and just knocked on the wooden surface of it without a thought in his head. He heard soft footsteps padding up to the door but all the air left his lungs when he saw her.

Your PoV.

You knew that everyone noticed your pouty face and bad mood lately but only Sue said anything about it. After all, she was the only person you told about your true feelings for Jackson. To your surprise, she wasn’t even surprised about that fact, just smirked at you knowingly and insisted on showing you Jackson’s live stream.

You definitely missed him. Being around him made everything so easy and effortless, so carefree. Ever since you stopped texting him, your days turned dull and grey. Nothing really interested you anymore and found yourself staring at your TV with a blank expression. Suddenly, someone knocked on your door which surprised you because you didn’t order food nor did you called over anyone. Not that you had many people to call over.

You walked up to the door with your eyebrows furrowed and opened the door. You thought you were having a heart attack when you saw who it was. Jackson was standing on the other side, disheveled, glitter sticking to half of his face and neck, dark circles under his eyes and panting heavily as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“J-Jackson?” you asked unsure of what you were supposed to do. “Um… Come in.”

Walking past you, you could smell his smell. You always thought that it was nice for him to not put on liters of cologne. Other guys tended to do so suffocating anyone in a ten meter radius.

“(Name)… just please, listen to me, I know the photos and what the media made up is contradictory but there was nothing going on between me and that woman” Jackson sputtered quickly after you closed the door. He grabbed your hand and looked at you pleadingly. “Please, believe me…”

“Why… are you explaining anything to me?” you asked quietly trying to pull away. He didn’t owe you anything, he was a free man, there was nothing official going on between the two of you. “You… don’t owe me anything…”

“Then why are you not responding? Why are you ignoring me since then?” he asked and leaned down so he could look into your eyes. He reached up to cup your face and wiped a tear away. You reached up and touched the wet trail of the tear in surprise. “I know we never got to officially go out… I wanted to ask you out properly after that night when we performed in live TV but you had to go to an interview. (Name)… I’ve never felt anything like this with anyone before…”

Jackson was looking deep into your eyes, forehead almost touching yours. He was still so perfect and you knew you would be a fool to not say yes. Every inch of you wanted to say yes… ever since you met him in the studio.

“I wasn’t angry with you…” you sniffed as you held onto his hand that cupped your face. “I was afraid that I was seeing too much into everything… I was afraid to be heartbroken.”

“I know… and I want to make it up to you” he breathed before his lips crashed against yours in an urgent, impatient yet sweet kiss. You could feel his desperation as he held onto you like his life depended on it. You kissed him back with your eyes closed. Your heart was thumping so hard against your ribcage as he pulled you closer.

He was everything you ever wanted and you were grateful for the stars to lead you to him.

Ten years later ~

Hong Kong was beautiful in its own way. You learnt Chinese quickly especially with Jackson helping you when you got stuck. When he first brought you home, to introduce you to his family, he seemed to be so proud showing you off. His family was nice and accepted you completely after Jackson proposed to you.

You knew how hard it was for him to propose after how his first fiancée let him down, but you couldn’t be happier to tie the knot with him. It was natural and nothing changed after years of marriage either except that you got two kids. You were always laughing your head off when Jackson was once left with your daughter for days because you had some work over seas and showed you the drawing your daughter made. He was glowing with pride and happiness, already telling your daughter that she was a true artist.

It was filling you with happiness to see him happy. He was so good at taking care of your kids, even made a special performance with them for Mother’s Day for you. Though, you got a whole different performance later in the bedroom. You loved him more than anything and you knew he felt the same way about you. There was no need for any proof.

End ~