#that’s what searching tumblr for posts about the show you barely started watching gets you

[strangeshadowdreamer]

"Venom 3" is in November 2020; Venom & Eddie knew each other only 3 months

and other stuff that refers to "Venom" movies timeline and was horribly messed up in the 3rd part

This is an answer to the post (https://www.tumblr.com/purplegazania/766419426998452224?source=share )

@purplegazania Hi! It's great that you pay attention to such details! But I’m afraid the events of "Venom 3" take place in 2020. But maybe «September 20» didn’t happen in their universe

And is definitely not June at all

In "Venom 2" we [film viewers] were shown that Eddie writes an article about Cletus Kasady. At the top of the app he is writing in a date was written. It is fuzzy, but recognizable: 10.29.20. You may need to search for high-definition video to see it yourself. I am not sure if tumblr compresses pictures in posts. It is a US style of date, so it stands for 29 th of October 2020. This is an exact date officially stated in the movie.

And we can also see that Eddie is also about to miss his deadline —  30th of October 2020. So the date was mentioned in two different places.

Probably, it’s one of the reasons why he was so irritated about Venom distracting him – Eddie had little time to finish his article.

It is the night when they come to Mrs. Chen for chocolate, deal with that bag robber and receive a phone call from Ann. They arrange to meet with Annie «Tomorrow night», which is 30th of October night. And at the night after this one they have a fight and Venom runs away. It is the 31st of October night. It is substantiated by the fact that Venom turns up at a costume party, which actually is Halloween. (I noted that in my post earlier https://www.tumblr.com/strangeshadowdreamer/701134805977432064/venom-at-halloween-party?source=share )

Here is the timeline for «Venom 2»

And then things start to happen really fast. Frances Barrison and Cletus unite, kidnap Ann and the whole scene at the Grace Cathedral happens. Pretty long night, huh

So back to the question about Christmas in June

Events in "Venom" (2018) take place in early autumn or late summer, judging by the leaves on trees (but definitely really late summer as weather is a bit chilly - Eddie wears a coat, and I think it's not that chilly in California in the middle of summer, so I believe it to be early autumn).

And now when I put together the early autumn at the end of «Venom» (2018) and 29-31 of October events of «Venom 2» it seems like a month period. And it fits. This time period is just perfect length.

This time period is short enough to explain why Venom and Eddie’s relationship is so raw (because they spent like a month together only)

And this time period is also short enough to explain why with such different attitudes towards life (I mean quiet journalism and «Living in peace» VS «fighting bad guys and eating them») haven’t let to a major quarrel before the events of «Venom 2» - because it was like a month long and they were just patient and accumulated the irritation

And this period is long enough to explain Ann’s phrase about her being sorry for not returning Eddie’s calls because she needed some time after «Alien biting a guy’s head off thing». I think that judging from Ann’s character a month is just long enough time for her to recover from what happened

Events in "Venom 2" take place around Halloween (I have already explained that above). And it seems to me that Eddie and Venom fled from San Francisco within a few days after the fight in Grace Cathedral. That is because if police blame Eddie for that, Venom and Eddie wouldn't have stayed in San Francisco significantly longer in order not to get caught. Plus, police call a helicopter, so they consider stuff happening in the Cathedral really serious and will waste no time looking for Eddie. So, between Grace cathedral scene and the beach scene, barely a few days passed.

And again, it feels like only a few days passed between the the beach scene and that scene where they were watching a tv show and teleportations started. So «Venom» (2018) and «Venom 2» are fully time-coordinated.  But let’s put a bookmark here🔖

It seems to me that 0 days passed since that first teleportation of theirs until the events of "Venom 3". And the events of «Venom 3» happen within just a few days.

It all happened pretty soon after 31 st of October, therefore, in November (which is pretty warm in Mexico). I mean, I talk about a period measured in DAYS between «Venom 2» Cathedral scene and «Venom 3» events. So, between that Halloween party in "Venom 2" and events of "Venom 3" about a few days passed. Let’s say a week. -> 31st of October + week = beginning of November. And that makes it a perfect time to wear a Christmas tree pin (Christmas is on 25th of December), but makes all the characters’ phrases about time nonsensical.

Lets return to the bookmark. 🔖 Basically, time between the beach scene and tv watching scene is the only gap where a few additional six (6!) months can theoretically be pushed into. But do you really think that Eddie and Venom spent a part of November, a whole December, January, February, March, April, May and some part of June in Mexico between the beach scene and that scene where they were watching a tv show and teleportations started? This is too much of a stretch to me, because:

Their relationship didn’t change at all, just as they didn’t communicate all the suggested half a year in Mexico. But if they did spend half a year in Mexico, I believe that they would have improved their relationship, and this would have been visible, especially after the progress they’ve made in «Venom 2»

They stayed in a small, quiet place in Mexico (for the obvious reason of (a) hiding from police and (b) finding a place with not many people so that Venom could show himself outside without causing panic or attracting unwanted attention). Venom would have gotten bored there really quickly.

2.1) Venom spent like a month (between Drake’s rocket explosion and «Venom 2» [early autumn] and fight at the apartment [31st of October]) in busy San Francisco with all kinds of entertainment (playing video games (see https://www.tumblr.com/wonderingaroundsworld/704834634551328769/venom-and-eddie-have-gamepads-to-play-together?source=share ), adoring his chickens Sonny and Cher in their own small house (see https://www.tumblr.com/wonderingaroundsworld/704459258987757568?source=share ), helping Eddie with his job, visiting bowling multiple times (Venom while holding that bag robber said that he can use the robber’s head for bowling and asked Eddie to name the one that they like. Eddie replied: «Lucky strike») and lots of other stuff). I can’t imagine him being fine with sitting at the same spot for more than half a year. He would have quickly talked Eddie into going somewhere. For example, to New York. And this is exactly what he did in «Venom 3».

2.2) And Venom never complained that he had to do nothing and be stuck in the same place for half a year. He didn’t say anything like «We have been sitting here for more than half a year. Let’s go at least somewhere» when he suggested going to New York. I think that if Venom had to spend nearly ~6,5 months in a boring place, he would have used it as an argument to persuade Eddie to leave the place.

This is why ~6,5 additional months don’t fit anywhere at all.

Here are approximate calculations

So

«Venom» (2018) takes place in early autumn, «Venom 2» on 29-31 of October, post credits scenes occur within a week starting from 31st of October, «Venom 3» events take a few days, therefore are approximately in November.

«Venom 3» can’t be taking place in June

Eddie and Venom have known each other for like three months

[helianthus-tarot]

What would you think about showing your support for Palestine?

I don't understand the question. What would I think? What do I think about showing my support specifically, or about other people showing their support?

I support Palestine of course. Below are some links:

🟡 Information

If you know nothing about the history of the Palestine-Israel conflict, you can start with Decolonize Palestine website; particularly the Palestine 101 section. It won't take much time. Also the myths section; the myths address most of the typical zionists' arguments.

Palquest also seems good if you want to understand the chronology of what has happened on the land since the Ottoman Empire, it was set up by the Institute for Palestine Studies and the Palestinian Museum. But I haven't explored everything yet since it's massive.

If you think those are too biased or whatever, you can supplement them by googling more info yourself about things such as The First Zionist Congress, Balfour Declaration, Great Palestinian Rebellion, Nakba, 1948 Arab–Israeli War, creation of Hamas, etc. Read multiple websites for each one of these. Compare and contrast the info.

I also suggest you watch videos from anti-zionist jews on tiktok; search #jewsagainstzionism #antizionistjew.

🟡 October 2023

You can refer to this post, there are links that talk about the recent October events. This is also a brief summary on how Hamas-Israel October 7 impacted Gaza.

To get recent updates:

People: Motaz Azaiza (a photographer who provides video updates of what's happening in Gaza). Plestia Alaqad (a journalist who also provides updates in Gaza). Click on their IG stories.

News: AlJazeera English, Eye On Palestine.

Others: Chris Kunzler, Subhi.

That list is not comprehensive of course, but you can use those as a starting point. You can also follow the #palestine or #gaza tags on tiktok and tumblr. I suggest tiktok since news travel a lot faster there.

🟡 What can you do

Rallies: Join Palestine solidarity rallies in your country if you can; this is a list of rallies from October 28 to November 5. But make sure you read guidelines and know how to behave during a rally, also pay attention to what is lawful and what isn't in your country.

Demand a ceasefire: For those who are in the USA, in the UK. I don't live in those countries so I don't know much, feel free to explore the tags. Americans really have a reason to be mad, your gov use your tax money and army to help the IOF kill kids. I don't even want to begin talking about Britain.

Boycott: Refer to BDS Movement to know what main brands to boycott, there are several like HP and Siemens. There are also other brands, you can find the info on tiktok; but from what I know people are currently focusing on Starbucks, McD and Disney.

Donate: This is long-term help, since people can barely get aids into Gaza at the moment (except for the recent 20 trucks). But some of them are still taking donation, so check. Palestine Red Crescent Society, Palestine Children's Relief Fund, Medical Aid for Palestinians, Baitulmaal, Alkhidmat Foundation Pakistan.

🟡 Others

I haven't tried these yet for personal reason but these are highly recommended by people.

Life in Occupied Palestine documentary by Anna Baltzer, who is a Jewish-American.

The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine book by Ilan Pappé, an Israeli historian and socialist activist. He has also written an article about what happened recently.

Another list of published books you can read to learn more. Edit: I couldn't link it. Go to tiktok and next to tiktok(.)com/, paste this: @book.butch/video/7293673677256903982?lang=en

Double check the info and the links. I might have missed something, so if there's wrong info or any correction needs to be done, kindly let me know.

If you have questions about the conflict, don't ask me; follow the links and people I've listed above. I am dealing with fatigue and emotional exhaustion, the issue has been triggering anxiety attacks.

Zionists do not interact.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

And now, it's time.

Day 5: Happy 5 Year Anniversary!

Wow. 5 years. I honestly can't believe that. Oh my GOSH that's long o.o. I went :O when I saw that when seeing advertising for the week.

I love this show so much (ignore me posting and editing to get it here before midnight for me lol). It's absolutely insane how long it's been. I started watching late in November, I believe, maaaaybe early December. We'd talked about getting Disney+, and I knew my family would find it silly but I was intrigued by a show called High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. A crazy title and a weird premise. I said I was just curious, fascinated by it, wondering what it would be like. So, one evening, my sister and I watched it.

We watched the first four episodes and laughed and made fun of it the whole time. But, miraculously, I found myself invested.

And the next episode.

In Season 1 Episode 5, they brought Seb and Carlos to us as a couple. I was shocked and happy, and honestly a little confused. I didn't know I was queer yet. I knew what queer was, had found out from my sibling surrounding some family stuff, but I'd never seen canon queer characters before. I guess I knew I was an ally, even if I didn't totally get why, but it was just so cool to see them. I honestly felt kind of weird because what did two gay high school boys mean to me, I was a straight girl!

Ha.

It wouldn't be for a couple more years that I would realize I was queer. I too fell victim to the "yeah, but I'm just an ally" trap lol. But I seriously fell in love with them. I remember my sibling and I loving how cute Carlos's little dance was, how excited he was. How devastated and in denial we were when Seb didn't show up. And how much we loved it when Carlos danced, and when Seb did show up :').

That solidified the show for me. That made me stay. They made me stay. They've meant the world to me ever since.

And since then, I have seen 33 amazing, wonderful episodes (just like the 5 before them lol). I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been in awe, I've been happy. I've seen myself represented not just in queer characters, but in theatre kids. In kids who are lonely and find family there. In kids who lived in a shadow, who were shy, who were thrust in and trusted by their teacher and director.

This show is silly. It does silly things, it has silly performances, it has silly jokes, silly unlikely things happen, and it's a silly premise. But I absolutely love it. I realized one day, after having seen someone mention "the One show that changed them forever", that mine was High School Musical The Musical The Series. Sounds silly, and I had to think about some of my more recent shows to figure it out. But it is. I remember scrolling through the tag, searching Seblos, before I even made a Tumblr account. Seeing things first after the finale of Season 1, deleted scenes pictures of Carlos giving Seb flowers. So many important moments for me were taken alongside step with HSMTMTS. Even though I barely post about it anymore (because so many interests catch my attention and I don't usually have much to say about it off the top of my head), it's still the 4th top "Posts a lot about" when you go to search on my blog. I think that says something. And I'm proud of it.

I haven't had a lot of interaction with the fandom during my time here, especially while the show was still running (and because I mainly stay in the Seblos tag, especially with remembering scrolling through all the Driver's License stuff before and when it first came out lol), but everyone means so much to me. Especially everyone still posting, still creating now. The fanfics, the art, the edits, and gifsets, everything is so important to me, and everything else. Thank you all <3. And thank you, when I did come, for being such an accepting place (at least the places I went to). Thank you guys for sticking around through this show, and even for just being here for a little while. Thanks for sticking with me, those that have :). And the friends I've made from this fandom and this show - you mean the world to me <3. Thank you all so much for everything you've done, everything that's made this show even more enjoyable :'). I love you all so much ❤️.

I love High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. And I'm proud and happy I do :).

Happy 5 Year Anniversary 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰🎊🎊🎉🎉🎂🎂🎂!!!!

[amtrak12]

To anyone who has been watching me flail and gnash my teeth over the past year as I write a monstrously long fanfic and maybe thought to themselves, ‘Damn, should I watch Lucifer so I know what she’s talking about?’

My answer is, NO! Bestie, I cannot, with a clear conscience, recommend the TV show Lucifer to anyone who knows me here on Tumblr. Now, if you want to learn how to utilize parallels in story telling? Then, absolutely! Lucifer is a MASTERCLASS in utilizing parallels, both visually and narratively. A++

But otherwise, you will have to do your own soul-searching and research to decide if Lucifer is worth your time. Because if I recommend Lucifer to you, then you’re going to start with episode 1 like a normal person and then you’re going to hate me because IT’S GARBAGE!

Oh, but Amber, all pilots are rough. I can just stick with it. — No, you misunderstand me. The pilot is FANTASTIC. It’s HYSTERICAL. But only if you know how the series ends. If this is your first introduction to the characters? It’s awful! I don’t know how anyone ever watched any part of S1 (except maybe the finale because the kidnapped child trope is chef’s kiss) and thought “OMG yes please, more of this”.

And I know what you’re going to say: Parks and Recreation. BUT THIS IS NOT THE SAME THING! You can absolutely skip S1 of Parks and Rec and never, ever go back and watch it, and you would be fine. You wouldn’t miss a goddamn thing.

You absolutely have to watch S1 of Lucifer. This is not a case of ‘oh the writers haven’t figured out these characters yet’. NOPE! This is 100% who these characters are at the start of their journey together. It’s crucial to understanding and appreciating their full character arcs. But it’s the start of their journey together and if they’re not a jackass (Lucifer, Dan) or sex-crazed* (Linda, babe WHAT was that), then they’re boring (Amenadiel and YEAH I’LL SAY IT Chloe^). Yes, Maze is hot, and toothless, 7 year old Trixie can do no wrong (bless that child) — BUT YOU CAN’T STICK WITH A SHOW FOR TWO CHARACTERS WHO ARE BARELY IN IT!+

[* — I don’t want to slut-shame. I am merely too aspec to relate. Also for a show about the Devil with a queer protagonist and more than one queer supporting character, Lucifer is WAY too Het (tm), but especially in S1]

[^ — Credit where credit is due: Chloe’s backstory of being a child actress who did a nude scene in a movie when she was 19 is FASCINATING. I love it because it is soooo outside of my comfort zone. I never in a million years would’ve made a character with that backstory, and for that reason, I love it.]

[+ — Watching a show for a character who’s barely in it is exactly something I’ve done in the past. It’s probably something we’ve all done at one time or another, but it’s not a sustainable business model for production companies, okay? You can’t always rely on the gays to do the work for you!]

You know what you get out of S1 if you wait to watch it last? (with spoilers — but honestly, it makes the show better. That’s my entire point in this post!)

Shouting at your screen 8.5 minutes in when the writers telegraph the end game goal of the show

General questioning where all the blue tones came from o_O (They liked ~filters~ in S1)

Having your mind goddamn BLOWN when you learn Chloe and Dan were still actually married at the start of the show. Like, WHAT?! No, I’m sorry… WHAT?!!

The horror that you were always going to feel now mixed with hysterical laughter as Linda is WAY too horny and WAY too susceptible to Lucifer’s desire power

“Did my father send you?” — DYING! DEAD! DECEASED!

Absolutely not being able to take Amenadiel seriously even for a second. Everytime you look up at his stony expression, you fall out of your chair laughing all over again

[^Amenadiel, I'm so sorry, but this does not intimidate me. I know you too well now.]

AND THAT’S JUST THE PILOT! You keep watching and you get to see Maze meet little Trixie for the first time (adorbs <3). You get to watch Maze meet Dan for the first time and IT’S SO GODDAMN FUCKING FUNNY I AM NOT EVEN JOKING! Like, if you can make it that far into the show by watching from the beginning, then it’s still funny. But TRUST ME! It’s way better once you know they’re besties and have seen Maze sob over an N*Sync shirt. I’M CRACKING UP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!

You also get to watch Lucifer’s struggle with mortality/vulnerability already knowing how it works (already knowing how all of his powers work). Chloe says, “Oh, I want to shoot you so bad.” And you’re shouting YES, PLEASE! DO IT! DO IT! And it’s not because you’re hate-watching the show, it’s because you know he’ll bleed when she does and LUCIFER DOESN’T KNOW THAT YET! Malcolm’s about to shoot him episodes later and you’re yelling again DO IT! DO IT!!!! Because Chloe’s no where around this time and Lucifer won’t bleed but he doesn’t know that either! (And then you groan in disappointment when Malcolm walks away without shooting — and then you cheer when two seconds later the villain of the episode shows up and shoots Lucifer instead! \0/ It’s SO satisfying!)

What I’m saying is, Season 1 is incredible… but only if you add dramatic irony to it. If you’re as clueless as the characters? Then, god help you, because I wouldn’t have made it past Linda jumping Lucifer’s bones in her office during the pilot. I just wouldn’t have.

Further caveats:

If you want to watch solely for Maze/Eve — DON’T! My girl Eve is barely in the show after her S4 introduction, and she’s dating Lucifer for the majority of that season. Like Maze/Eve are incredible and perfect and integral to Maze’s overall character arc. You get to see them get married and they have such gems like “You broke my heart” / “Really? :D That’s awesome!” and “I don’t care if you die.” / “:’) That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.” — LIKE BABES, THEY’RE GORGEOUS! I just wouldn’t watch 6 seasons of a show for like 1.5 seasons total of B-storyline content. I don’t think that’s really worth it but your scales may differ.

Now if you want to watch solely for Tricia Helfer…. FAIR! THAT’S FAIR! I’m pretty sure she’s what got me sucked in. Technically, that’s probably not worth it either because she’s only a regular for S2 and 3 and then guest stars in a couple of S5b episodes — but then again, IMDB confirms she was in 47 of the 93 episodes while Eve was only in 14 (FOURTEEN??? :O What do you mean?? Wasn’t she in like most of S4????? JFC no wonder it seems like she’s never around T_T) So yeah, Tricia Helfer might be worth it! She’s fabulous as both Lucifer’s mom and as Charlotte Richards! Love her!

Season 3 is both the longest and the WORST season no matter when you watch it. Unless you have some deep-seated nostalgia for Smallville, you’re going to be miserable during this season and there’s absolutely no way I can make it better for you. I am so sorry. It’s horribly paced. It has a narratively useful characterization backslide with NO TRIGGER POINT so it therefore doesn’t actually flow with the narrative after all. It has too many filler episodes which for this show, does actually ruin the pacing, and includes two miscellaneous episodes that have nothing to do with anything slotted AFTER a very massive, huge finale cliffhanger! (WHY???? @ Fox execs, PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!!!) They completely fucked up the character foil I assume they were intending because there’s no way you intended that to be a face value parallel. I refuse to accept that. And that’s before whatever the fuck their goal was with the Chloe/Pierce romance. IT WAS SO BADLY DONE IT MAKES ME RAGE!

But also we got Chloe and Linda drunkenly taking over Lucifer’s penthouse when he was out of town, and the finale scene of Lucifer shielding Chloe with his wings as they’re getting shot at which makes me FERAL, so it’s not all bad.

Speaking of Lucifer shielding Chloe with his wings, I might have an unexplored obsession with angels that is clouding my judgement of this show. :S Okay, years ago I read a Supercat AU where Kara was the devil and I was enthralled but anything else I found featuring angels just wasn’t the vibe. And then I found Lucifer and got hooked. So IDK! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

hey!! could u give some tips for new fanfic writers who are having a hard time starting? I think ur writing is AMAZING and aspire to write as well as you!! thanks!! <3

omg of course!! ive been writing fanfiction for a while now (mostly gen!fics, honestly, and not even reader inserts😭) and i found that these things have kinda worked best for me:

1. go back to the source material

if i’m writing a fanfic thats based on a book, and it’s canon compliant, i like to search up ‘(name of book): timeline’ or if its a movie/show, i go to the wiki page and read the summaries. it just helps to keep yourself accurate. this also works for writing how a character acts/talks, like, i think ive watched about a dozen clips of sunburn (because im too lazy to watch the movie again hehe) trying to replicate davin mcderby’s cheeky personality and dublin accent!

2. read other peoples work!

this is more of a personal preference but reading other people’s fics gets my inspiration going (this is definitely because their work was so amazing)!!! it helps for me to nail down a specific tone of voice too, seeing how other’s characterize who i’m writing about/for.

3. desensitize yourself :p

by desensitizing yourself i mean it in relation to writing smut. for me reading smut is way easier than writing it LMAO when i first started writing smut (which, was like a month ago so bare w/me and take this advice w/a grain of salt😭) i had to physically get up and walk around after a few sentences. so spend some time saying all the dirty shit like “he pried my lips open with the tip of his cock”— stuff like that LOL. if you do cringe like i did, just keep going: it gets better with time. it probably helps if you’re not a virgin but i very much am☠️

4. try different pov’s!

i used to write in the 3rd person pov for reader-inserts, which is great, but i find that writing in 2nd person is much more… personal (can u tell im not eloquent at all outside of fanfiction lmao). find what works best for u, be it 1st, 2nd, or 3rd! it helps to stretch those writing muscles of yours too hehe.

5. finally, when it comes to length, motivation or ideas, do what feels best for u!

if u think it’s better to end that oneshot with a couple thousand words or a couple hundred, do it. if u dont wanna write today, dont! if u want to write some wild crazy shit, do it!!! its YOUR writing and u should trust urself:) u defo know urself better than tumblr randos anyway LMAO

thank you so much for reading my work and for your praise! im actually blushing hella rn i cant believe im getting asked for writing tips. ME, just some cillian murphy addict😭 thank u again for reading!

(bonus: if you dont think u can flesh an idea out as well as you think, write it, then move on before posting it for all to see. maybe post your other works, stuff you that’s all good and neatly polished, then come back to that first idea with fresh eyes!)

[vickysaurus]

So now that we're here, I think I should talk about how I found The Owl House in the first place. Like, I suspect, quite a few people, it started with me seeing gifs of this scene on Tumblr. I think I already had the vaguest idea that there was a new cartoon about witches, presumably from the same person posting about it, but it was barely a blip on my radar. But the Grom dance gifsets showed a scene that looked so great (the animation in this scene is absolutely stunning), so unique, and so openly, joyfully queer, that I knew I had to watch it at some point. So I made a mental note and checked the tags for the show's name. And well, the tags on it said Lumity, so I figured that was the name of the show. So, mental note: download and watch Lumity at some point.

Anyway then ADHD happened so I didn't. That november, Desert Bus for Hope happened, and this being 2020, it was done entirely remote. This meant several people, including Bengineering, were in front of a greenscreen and would put their own backgrounds on it. And the reason I mention Ben is because during dance parties, he would put the Grom dance on his background, reminding me I really needed to watch that Lumity show. He actually talked about the show and how fantastic it is at some point too, so after Desert Bus I decided to download it and have a look.

Well, turns out if you try to find a show titled Lumity on RARBG, you don't get torrents for The Owl House. So, a little annoyed, I decided to search for the new She-Ra instead, since it too had been on my radar for a while. But while it was downloading, I tried my hand at searching the internet for something along the lines of 'cartoon where there's two witches dancing and fighting a monster and one of them wears a suit and dress and the other has green hair'. Which, somehow, did give a list of cool recent cartoons that included screencaps I could recognise the characters from. Ohh, it's name is The Owl House!

So, having downloaded SPOP and The Owl House at basically the same time, I had to pick what to watch first. Having already put on the first two episodes of She-Ra, you'd think I'd keep going with that, but I wanted to sample both. Once I'd seen The Owl House's pilot as well, my plan was to sort of go back and forth, but at the time, The Owl House had only a single season, while She-Ra already had all five. So it felt like I could just keep watching Owl House and get done with it before committing to the full five season SPOP. That did have the unfortunate side-effect of me forgetting some stuff from The Sword when I did get back to watching She-Ra, but that's a different story.

[teamrockethell]

My Origin Story…

Part 1: My Origin Story…

It all started when I was little. Pokémon Season 18 or Smth Like That was my favorite show. I once binged it for four hours straight, finishing the season, and was ready to restart it, but unfortunately my mom kicked me off the TV and told me to touch grass.

Sometime later I had tried to find the show again. Gone. No longer on Netflix. I was like 7. I didn’t know you could find it anywhere other than Netflix. I travelled across the lands, searching far and wide for the same show I had watched. But none of the seasons were the same. I remember vaguely watching some pokémon movie and not understanding anything and seeing Brock and being like “who the fuck is this???” I even saw like an episode and a half of season 1, which I apparently didn’t like. L take season 1 solos.

Years pass by. I forget about the show. And then, I somehow find out that the season I watched was XYZ. Cool, but it didn’t trigger the obsession. What came next, was my downfall.

Part 2: The Tumblr Sexyman Wiki.

(image from a slide from my pokémon sucks slideshow i made for a presentation “night” with my friends)

Seventh grade. I’m going through the character lists on the aforementioned site and laughing at the ones I recognize. And then I see them. Jessie and James. Team Rocket. I read the page. I got invested. I lowkey started to ship it. I read the bulbapedia rocketshipping page. Little did I know, I had just fallen down into a deep, dark rabbit hole.

Archive of Our Own. Fanfiction.net. Random ass websites, anything I could find that had new rocketshipping fics (except Wattpad cause it’s asssssss). I learned about Jessebelle. I was truly hooked.

Started watching the show. Got to Holy Matrimony, and my brain absolutely sunk its claws into the episode. I was thinking about it 24/7 during school. Just barely keeping it together and not brainrotting all over my friend about it (mission failed but thankfully they hardly remember it). Made some character fanart but i guess art block or something and also how the fuck do you draw Jessebelle’s hair. Uhh other stuff too i don’t feel like listing. I was also rewatching the episode a lot.

(my favorite episode and favorite scene so far!!)

Bonus Section: German idk

okay but the double trouble or whatever german version of the song (gleich gibt es ärger) is straight FIRE that song goes hard it was the only thing i listened to (along with two other german versions of pokémon songs) for a while. like during school i was listening to it always. i tried to subtly get my friends to look at what i was listening to thinking i could arise mysterious intrigue and get them to ask me about it 😭😭😭 also tried watching the series in german but didn’t get very far for whatever reason.

Part 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

eventually i started screenshotting the show and man did things devolve from there. I went from only screenshotting cool scenes to literally almost every other frame. one of the most recent episodes i watched i took nearly 100 screenshots what the fuck bro. anyways i got about over 1,700 screenshots and counting to go through and post, wish me luck!!

man i wrote a lot uhhhh.

yeah.

i hope future me appreciates this short partial biography of sorts 🫶💖✨

[dianight]

Today I got asked about my "touhou playlist" (which is more like 15~ different ones, but anyway). It was the Shibayan Records one, although they don't have all their stuff on their youtube channel.

I was explaining how I first heard of them on a bloodborne pvp video from years ago and I found it pretty quickly since I remember the title, but like the main point is that I realized that I haven't really used youtube in months.

Like occasionally I'll click on links or just answer questions on my videos but not really check youtube as I used to do a while ago.

Made some posts about it in april/may/june, maybe more but you know how reliable tumblr search is, about how unmanageable it was becoming.

Like it used to be a thing that you click not recommended on a channel or a video and you'd never see that channel again and you'd barely see any videos related to the one you marked. But now I'll get the same videos or extremely similar ones all the time, and no amount of clicking not interested or hide channel or watching other types of video (to be fair I haven't bothered to try in months, but I did try for a little too long) will make it any better.

If I go to youtube dot com, out of 50 videos (or things I can click on, rather) we get:

9 Vtuber clips

6 Video game OST

10 Touhou music videos

4 Souls related videos

5 Playlists with random songs

3 Touhou animations

1 Blue Archive video

7 Vtuber VODs

1 Video game "essay" (despective)

1 Madoka video

3 Video game funny video

And it's interesting because looking at it on list form it might look fine but many of those videos I'd simply click not interested and move on, and over time I'd get less of them and the ones I'd get would be more relevant.

To elaborate, in order: Out of those 9 vtuber clips, I only watch clips/streams of 1 of them. I know hololive tends to have that effect where you constantly get recommended stuff with others that you don't watch, but I used to get Marine/Kanata/Towa-sama videos almost exclusively and when I got others I'd click not recommended. At some point it straight up stopped working.

Out of 6 video games OSTs, 2 of them are from some time 1+ year ago, 2 of them I've clicked before on not interested and the other 2 are a limbus video (4-48 OST) and the other is on one of my playlists. Which should be enough to NOT put it there, because I've already watched it and it feels like a random "we know you watch this" kind of thing.

Btw I use an extention that hides a lot of shit I don't want to see.

And I still get some of them somehow.

Out of 10 touhou music videos, only 3 of them are ones I'd listen to (because I've done so before, they are in one of my playlists (!!!)). The others are genres that I don't like as much so once again I'd click not recommended and still get them. It used to be a way to find new groups or new songs digging through the related videos, you can't really do that anymore.

Out of 4 souls related videos, two of them are Zullie videos despite not having watched her in a long time, even showing me one for armored core (not interested at all) and the other two are speedrun related, so very ambivalent. I've definitely tried to hide those kind of videos before but I used to link some of them to teach certain things, so I don't know.

The playlists are infuriating, because they are randomly generated. It'll be 15 touhou songs in a row and suddenly you get a random song that you listened to 3 years ago. And they are meant to not show up.

The touhou animations are also annoying because I'd rather not see them, like either I've seen them at some point in the past 10 years or they are from last week with 12 views and it's like. Fuck yourself youtube, just throwing shit at the wall and see what sticks.

Blue archive shit I'd rather not see, always clicked on not interested/don't recommend. [Relevant for later]

Out of 7 vtuber VODs, only 1 of them is relevant (Selen starting in a few minutes). Even if I don't watch these days, it'd make sense to get that recommendation. The other six are from one I've never watched, and streams from anytime from yesterday all the way up to two years ago (¿). Once again throwing shit and see what sticks.

Random 2 hours and a half video about Outer Wilds. Fantastic game, irrelevant to this post. [Relevant for later]

Madoka video from last time I search for the full ending song. Okay.

3 funny videos from people who I've watched in the past few years.

---

If I refresh the page it'll be like 45 different videos and 5 of the previous ones. And no matter if I click not interested in most of them, I still get the same shit.

"Tell us why"

So so very useful.

---

I can click not interested, refresh the page and get videos from the same channel. Do it again and again. Took 7 videos until I got no Zullie videos. It should take 1, 2 at most if it's from another game.

And the more videos you click not interested on, the more random videos youtube will try to squeeze in. If I see an unrelated video from the past 2 weeks, you can be almost certain that it's just a wild guess to see if you click on it.

AND every so often, youtube will add videos from [white youtube that spawned under a rock with millions of followers] or random "themes" that appear to be popular at the moment. There was a period of time where, having never watched a single blue archive video, I could not fucking stop getting them recommended. Same shit with Oshi no Ko related videos, like I'm even reading the manga, but that kind of thing pissed me off because I am 100%, unequivocally not interested and YET!!! I kept getting the same video for like several weeks.

Anyway. My youtube shortcut is my own channel for management reasons, but I don't think I'll ever use youtube as I used to. It's not even fun, or like entertaining anymore. Too much work.

Hope it dies soon.

[tropical-kabuki]

30 questions tag

No one tagged me because I'm not really active in here, but this popped up on my "for you" page and I thought I would do it because why not

1. name/nickname: Kira. That's a nickname, I keep changing my mind on whether to share my real name around here or not

2. star sign: Virgo. And then it's Virgo Rising, Taurus Moon, Venus in Leo and I forgot about the rest (I'm not particularly into astrology, but after doing so many of those "pick an image according to your sign" things on twitter I've ended memorizing some stuff lol)

3. height: 164cm

4. birthday: September 7th

5. favorite band: Nowadays it's a split between Ghost and Poets of the Fall. I'm also listening to Voyager and Lord of the Lost a lot since Eurovision (yes, I'm an eurofan of sorts)

6. time: 4:50pm

7. favorite solo artist: ... I can't really think of any at the moment? I usually listen to bands more than solo artists, but I suppose either David Bowie or Freddie Mercury are always a very sensible choice (and very true because I love them both)

8. song stuck in your head: Buddy Holly's ‘Everyday’. Blame Good Omens for that #is it July 28th yet

9. last movie you watched: I rewatched 'Murder by Death' for the first time in many years. There's a few actors I love in that movie but... it hasn't aged too well imho.

10. free space!: Watch BBC Ghosts if you haven't yet! The last season comes out later this year, it's a wonderful show (truly funny and wholesome) and the fandom is *lovely*. That's it, that's what I'm using the free space for, you'll thank me later.

11. last show: I'm currently jumping between several (very different) shows, but the last episode I watched was 'The Thick of It' 3x01

12. when i created this blog: February 2023. I have been on Tumblr before, but for several reasons I decided to start over

13. what i post: I mostly reblog stuff about my favourite actors and fandoms... I should make a list I guess, in the meantime feel free to check my archive page to get an idea of what I like :)

14. last thing i googled: I searched about known side effects for some medication I've started with recently, because I'm feeling much more tired and sleepy than usual. Doesn't seem like it's related to the meds though.

15. other blogs: not really, no. I've thought about starting side blogs for some stuff, but I would only neglect them because I don't really have the time. I'm neglecting this one enough as it is.

16. do i get asks?: not very often and I'm terrible at replying in a timely manner anyway :') really sorry about that

17. why i chose my url?: When I watched the first season of The White Lotus I fell in love with Armond (Murray Bartlett's character) and the [SPOILER] tragic trainwreck of sorts that he goes throughout the season [END OF SPOILER]. The whole introductory scene to Armond and The White Lotus resort has him telling Lani, a new trainee, that the White Lotus experience is nothing more than “tropical Kabuki,” with the staff serving as “pleasant interchangeable players”. I thought it was brilliant and so funny and for some reason my immediate thought was that it would make for a great social media username. So that's exactly what I used it for a few days later, when I was picking a url for this blog. I've ended up using it in a couple other places, too.

18. following: 66 blogs at the moment, mostly people that I share interests with or blogs about my favourite celebs/fandoms.

19. followers: 16. I'm not very active in here so I'm thankful for every person that follows me despite of that.

20. average hours of sleep: 6-7 if I can. During the Summer months that number is significantly lower tho :')

21. lucky number: I don't know if I have one... I like 7, 9, 6 and 13.

22. instruments: I sort of can play drums and keyboard, but I'm self taught (I've learned mostly by ear) and a bit clumsy. I own a bass guitar but I've barely touched it, I hope I can make time for it soon because it's the instrument I've always wanted to learn (yeah, I know; bad mental health era and so on, it will get better)

23. what am I wearing?: tank top and underwear because it's too bloody hot to wear anything else, tyvm.

24. dream job: there's several, but poster illustrator/designer is the first one that always comes to mind.

25. favorite food: almost any chicken dish, I think.

26. tea or coffee: both! It depends on the occasion

27. nationality: Spanish

28. favourite song: I can't pick just one, so I'll give you a classic choice from my 'On repeat' spotify list: https://open.spotify.com/track/2Y7ndoyiIm0IaFJa13gV3H?si=ded0711cd472473e

29. last book i read: I'm currently reading 'Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women in World War I'

30. top three fictional universes i would like to live in: this question is way more complicated than it would seem at first glance, so let me just settle for: Middle Earth, the Shire in particular, during a peaceful time.

[motherfuckingbrad]

ok so i’m only on s2 of its always sunny and literally already knees deep in very deep analyses of all the characters even tho the show is meant to be very surface level stupid BUT

currently watching when the gang tries to profit off the virgin mary water stain (also the first appearance of david hornsby hello my beloved) and mac’s religious trauma is popping tf OFF dude annnnd i just think it’s so very important to his character development to consider how terrified of god he is (like any child raised strictly catholic) and how that factors into him being gay

now most of these thoughts are stemming from a macdennis fic i read last night that i could literally write a ten pages paper on analyzing how mac’s religious trauma and dennis’s narcissism play into their relationship but even when considering the canon plots of the show, mac’s relationship w catholicism and god is so so important to consider when thinking about his journey through internalized homophobia and being closeted and then finally being able to admit to his friends and himself that yes, he’s gay and yes, it’s ok to say it and no, god will not strike him down for loving other men because love is not a sin.

and i know they say mac being gay wasn’t planned out from s1 but when looking at the very early seasons through the lens of him later coming out, it makes so much sense because mac is so homophobic and so aggressive and so over the top macho man because obviously he has so many pent up feelings of shame and disgust and anger with himself for feeling the way he feels and no matter what girls he gets with he can’t help but think of men and feel so guilty and ashamed when he does. i mean even considering the shame he felt for hanging out with carmen the transgender woman in s1, he just hides from and/or violently rejects anything and anyone remotely queer even if he likes them because, like the virgin mary water again episode shows, he’s absolutely terrified of god and what god will do to him if he sins.

and i could go on and on and on but i don’t want to make this post super fuckin long, i just can’t stop imagining mac giving in to his needs and then praying over the men he’s laying in bed with afterwards and going to confessional every sunday to desperately try to cleanse himself and praying every night for god to let him feel some other way, wondering why he feels so wrong and why he can’t just be normal and why he was taught to hate every aspect of how he loves

sorry i’m just an ex catholic who cries every time i imagine mac thinking about how he will go to hell simply for the way he loves. anyway i hope he heals (again im only on s2 i barely know anything so lmk if i’m horrendously wrong rn) and i hope he can find a relationship with god that is accepting of how he feels and loves and i hope he continues to grow in his queer journey because even though he’s a horrible person i love him so much

[misspearly1]

Chp1 || Chp2 || Chp3 || Chp4 || Chp5 || Chp6 || Chp7 || Chp8 || Chp9 || 

Pairing: Werewolf!Joel Miller x You (F!Reader)

Summary: Looking back on how your life has turned out this far, you often wonder if you got more than you bargained for when finally finding your safe haven within the walls of Jackson. They have it all; food, shelter and electricity, but what else did you come to discover that lives within this thriving community? And how did that discovery change your life?

WC: 16.3k

Warnings: 18+ Content, Minors DNI. Enemies to lovers. A little bit of angst. Mentions of Anxiety. A little bit of violence (Reader and Joel get mad at someone). Lots of sexual tension and teasing. Smut. Foreplay. Unprotected PIV. (Stay safe ya'll). If I have missed anything in the warnings, do please call it out for me my loves.

AN: Okay my loves, this is a big chapter lmao. There’s a lot of fiction here and some backstories to characters. Some things have came from the web, TV shows/Movies I have watched, and there are some things that I just made up myself. I hope you enjoy darlings. I don't think the next chapter will be as big. (This chapter was hard to post, tumblr kept bugging out on me 😭)

The moon up above lights your way ahead as the trees whisper a direction for you to follow. 

There’s a light breeze amongst the snowy surroundings you find yourself in, but your intuition is blowing a gale. Weirdly, you do not feel lost. You feel like you’re on the right path, listening to the whispering winds and letting your gut instincts guide the way.

You shouldn’t even be out here to begin with, but Joel drove you out here. His stupid accusations drove you out of Jackson and now your boots crunch their way through the sea of snow, searching for something. 

You don’t even know what you’re looking for, but anything is better than taking the spotlight of Jackson’s traitor. You couldn’t stand being there for a second longer and acted in the heat of the moment to leave. It’s for the best anyways.

Bringing a hand up to your chest with a wince, the tightness was fading now but the fact it was still there proves just how hurt you are from what the townsfolk said about you. 

Their voices linger like a dark cloud hanging above your head. ‘You’re one of them’, ‘your people killed our people’, ‘Jackson doesn’t welcome you’ and lastly, but most painfully, ‘you caused this’ - that one came from Jake, it hurt the moment he said it and it still hurts now like an open wound. 

It hurts because you actually believe that it’s true. It can’t be a coincidence that the very same group of bandits that chased you through the forest showed up at Jacksons gates one month later and breached the walls. They followed you and tore the chance of safe haven from your grasp. You were just starting to settle, people of Jackson were warming up to you, but now they all see you as a traitor. 

Halting your walk to ease the burn in your calves, you also needed a moment to breathe through those arising feelings of a panic attack. It wasn’t as powerful as the one you had two hours ago in the streets of Jackson, but you could feel it coming and you wanted to stop it beforehand.

The stress and anxiety around the situation still remains and you need to rid your mind of all bad energy. You need to stay focused on your path, which right now is showing a trail in the snow. Your gut was telling you to follow the trail, so you did.

Even though the snow is heavier here, it’s effective with reflecting the light in all directions, therefore lighting the way through perfectly at this time of night. There was an obstruction up ahead, just barely visible as it peeks between the tree and the closer you got, the more details you could make out.

It was a building, the backside of a building. The snow was covering the windows so you weren’t able to look inside, but after placing a hand to the wall and walking around till you found the entrance, your mouth fell open with surprise. 

Library. You found the library. 

A mountain of snow covering the entrance hid the sign, but you saw it as clear as day. This is the library - Eugene's outpost. That would mean you’re on the creek trails and there’s a ski lodge around here somewhere, you remember reading about it on the notice board yesterday.

Turning slowly on the spot, you looked around to access the surroundings and saw that the path continues through the trees with what looks like a main road at the end. You squint your eyes to focus on the objects in the distance. It looked like cars. Snow covered cars dotted here and there in the middle of a snowfield. 

There might be a town nearby to tell you where you are, but first things first is checking out Eugene's hideout. Intuition brought you here for a reason and curiosity to know why made you turn around and approach the entrance.

There’s no way Eugene is regularly using this outpost, you have to climb over the little bank of snow to reach the doors and they were cracked open enough for you to slip through, but certainly not enough for a man of Eugene’s size. 

You could just leave this place and move on, you’ve left Jackson and your investigations are obviously over with, but something drew you here and that’s got to mean something. Walking through a white blanket of snow with any direction to walk towards and you just miraculously stumble upon the library? That isn't a coincidence. That’s a sign. 

A sign sent from who? You wonder while walking through the library and still letting your intuition guide you. Walking past a chained door that was covered on the other side, you stop at a copier room at the back of the building and look through the window to see another door leading somewhere else.

You had a choice here: leave and forget about ever finding this place or smash the window and give in to what your gut is screaming at you to do. A break lay on the floor by your feet and that was just another sign you followed.

Picking it up and throwing it, the glass shattered and you climbed through to the other side. Then you walk towards that door that leads to the unknown, but stop to look at a little pendant hanging from a board on the wall. ‘Eugene Linden. 000314’ is what the engraved markings read, it’s a firefly pendant, shedding a little more light on who Eugene is or was. 

Reaching for the handle, you push through to the other room and immediately take note of how it’s just another section to the library. A kids area with toys and books. Ok…Don’t give up just yet. Your brows furrow with determination as you take a step inside. Walking past the pile of dusty toys and books, you round the corner and see a bed beside another small room. The door was covered and chained from the other side. 

“This is what Eugene’s hiding?” You sigh, scratching your head. It’s just an outpost, nothing special. A bed against the wall, a couple cabinets, a small table with a portable cooker on the top and clothes in the corner, and they were definitely Eugene’s clothes. You could tell. 

In the last two hours you have led yourself to believe that you’re on the right path walking through the woods and have found the library for a reason, but there’s nothing here. It only looks like a place for Eugene to rest. It looks like that. Perching your hands to your hips in thought, you wondered if this was just a front for something else and walked into that little room with the chained door. 

There was a small weapons station and a generator. There’s cables running through this room and into the next, with multiple lamps sitting around and a mini fridge. Suppose that’s what the genny is for?

Reaching for the chain, you figured there couldn’t be any harm in using this outpost for an hour or two before moving on. A little rest, some food and drink then you’ll move on through the trail in hopes of finding a town, maybe even the ski-lodge in case there is anything there worth checking. 

You’re quite disappointed that there wasn’t anything here, you thought Eugene was hiding something for sure but it doesn’t matter anyways because you’re not hunting the identity of the werewolf anymore. You left Jackson and all of that behind.

After getting the generator up and running, you walked back into the room where the bed was and tilted your head with a confused expression to your face. The floor lit up. Light was shining through the gaps in the wood. 

Standing above it and kneeling down slightly to look inside, three prominent colours peeked through the gaps. White, blue and yellow. That’s a basement and there’s something down there, it looks like plants of some kind. Focusing on all of the cables that ran along the floor, you could see some of them splitting off to different sources but a double cable zip tied together ran along the floor towards the entrance you came in from. 

You followed the wires, expecting it to lead you back into the copier room but you were wrong. It leads towards a bookcase in a dark corner. It’s very easy to miss, you completely overlooked it when you first entered but now the light glares through from the other side, lighting it up clearly for you to see now. It’s a trap door - a secret entrance. 

After noticing the markings on the floor - another thing you missed - you walked towards the bookcase and held onto the side to slide it open, however it was harder than you thought it would be and you struggled. Grunting and huffing as you tried with all your might to get it open, it still wasn’t budging, so you place your back to the wall and bring a foot up instead. 

You closed your eyes and gritted your teeth through the strain you were putting on your ankle, yet it still wouldn’t move. Dropping your foot with defeat, you sighed with exhaustion and started looking at the books instead.

One of them could be hiding a switch. You thought while rummaging through the shelves, however the quiet sound of a floorboard creaking behind you immediately put you on high alert and you turned quickly to throw a book at whatever it was. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” You cringe, pulling your hands over your mouth. The book smacked Tommy in the face, even though he didn’t flinch or stumble back at all from the contact, you still felt bad for doing that to him. ���Um… Why are you here?” You ask, wondering how he even found you to begin with. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Sighing a chuckle, he smiles a genuine smile, although his eyes scream sorrow, then Tommy clears his throat with a soft shake of his head. “I came looking for you, to bring you back, Y/N.” What? Why would he do that? I can’t go back there. “I can’t force you to come home sweetheart, but I want you to know that there’s always a place for you in Jackson - always, no matter what.” 

“Your people hate me, Tommy.” You retort, dropping your gaze to hide how much pain those words brought you. “Two, maybe three people in Jackson actually took the time to get to know me and see that I am not a threat to them, but the whole town hates me. Why would I go back to that?” 

“Because they don’t hate you.” He takes a careful step closer, not wanting to make you feel any more uncomfortable than you already were. “What they said about you came from fear. They didn’t mean it and you have more than three people who care about you, sweetheart. I’m here aren’t I? I care about you.” 

“Jake…” You shake your head, gulping back the lump in your throat. “Your wife, your brother, that group who circled me and blamed me for what those bandits did. They all hate me. Everyone heard the things they said and you think I’m going to be welcomed back with open arms? I won’t be. People will talk, they’ll stare and judge Tommy. All I want is a place to call home.” 

“Jackson is your home.” Tommy takes another step closer. Standing right before you now, he carefully places a finger under your chin and lifts your head to look at him. “Me an’ Joel have a lot of explaining to do. What he caused with those rumours isn’t forgivable and I understand if you don’t ever want to come back to Jackson because of it, but could you find somewhere in your heart to give me a chance to explain?” 

You furrow your brows with both intrigue and confusion, but before you could ask any of the sudden questions you now have, Tommy moves closer and reaches for something behind you. “I want to show you something.” He says, slipping his fingers behind the bookshelf and unlocking the door before pulling back to look at you. “I’ll explain everything, answer any questions you have and you can decide if you want to come back to Jackson or not, deal?” 

Nodding to him, you understand what Tommy is about to do and it’s something you’ve been wanting to know for the last month. The werewolf. He’s going to show you what’s in this basement and share everything he knows.

“What about Joel?” You ask out of a sudden thought crossing your mind. “Does he know you’re showing me this? His rumours are the reason I’m out here anyways, it could have been avoided if he just told me about the werewolf.” 

“I know.” He nods, expressing a remorseful smile. “I don’t like people knowing about it, my brother is just trying to protect us.” 

Mouth slowly falling open, a thousand thoughts rush through your head as Tommy opens the bookshelf for you then steps back to pull a rag over his mouth and nose. “I can’t go inside. Wolfsbane is what’s down there, Y/N -” He avoids looking into your eyes, shaking his head. “-It will kill me if I go down there, I can’t go with you.” 

“Oh my God.” You gasp. Not knowing what thing to focus on first, the fact that you can smell the aromas coming upstairs, spicy and sweet, described just like wolfsbane, or the fact that Tommy is the werewolf. Your mind entered an overwhelming state of confusion and disbelief. You didn’t think he was the werewolf, your suspicions landed on Eugene and you directed all of your attention on him. 

The sound of Tommy's choking coughs snap you out of it and you ask with worry. “Is this stuff harming you? Should we move?” 

“I should move but you can go look if you wa-” The man couldn’t even finish his sentence as you close the bookshelf and wrap an arm around his bicep. Walking into the copier room and closing the door, Tommy sat down on a chair underneath an open window and removed the rag to breath in the fresh air. 

“Tommy, start talking.” You take a seat also, holding your hands to each side of your face, still in utter shock and disbelief. “I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t plan on hurting you either. I only ever wanted the truth…” Breathing a sigh, you lower your hands and shake your head. “A-are you really saying you’re the werewolf? You’re not lying to me… All this time, it was you?”

He nods, watching your brows furrow and lips move like you’re about to ask a million questions, but you couldn’t manage to spill a single one as you processed what he’s saying. A thought crosses his mind and he acts on it, in hopes of showing you the truth.

Holding your eye contact, Tommy’s eyes begin to glow and he watches your expression soften. Two soul penetrating hazel brown eyes, glowing like gold. You’ll never forget the eyes of the werewolf. The werewolf that saved your life. 

“It was you…” You whisper, lips trembling. “You saved me from the bandits and brought me to the wall for Joel to find me.”

“Um, not quite.” Tommy shakes his head, eyes returning to normal after he blinks. “Joel was there too, but you either don’t remember or you didn’t see him.” Your expression conveys your lack of remembrance and Tommy doesn’t waste a second to explain. “My brother got there before me, sweetheart. He’s a lot faster than me, and a lot stronger too.” 

“Wait-wait-wait..” Holding up a hand, you were growing more disoriented by the second, learning an overwhelming amount of information. “What exactly are you saying Tommy? Joel was there too, he’s a lot stronger and faster than you? What do you mean?” 

“He means I was there.” Joel answers, his voice vibrating through your body as he moves to stand in the doorway leading into the copier room. “I heard you whimpering as you ran. I could even hear your heartbeat, Y/N. It was pumping out of your chest.” Joel looks at his brother briefly before looking back at you. He even smirks a little at the way your eyes were popping out the sockets. “I got there before my brother did because I’m stronger and faster.”

“Holy shit…Your eyes.” You gasp for a second time in the space of five minutes. Joel’s eyes were glowing red. Like two rings of fire burning into your soul, they were beautiful yet terrifying at the same time, and he found it amusing when confirming your thoughts out loud. “Me and Tommy are werewolves Y/N. Both of us were there that night. My brother brought you back to Jackson while…. While I took care of those assholes who chased you.” 

“W-why...Jesus why lie?” You raise your voice, feeling like an idiot. “And what about Eugene?! Is he a werewolf too?” 

Both Joel and Tommy chuckle at that remark, but the younger Miller stops immediately after seeing the look on your face. “No, it’s just us as far as we know, but Eugene knows about us.” 

“But you let me spend this last month thinking I am crazy!” You snap, pushing your chair back as you stand. “I get it. It’s a secret you don’t want people knowing about, but you!” You point an accusatory finger at Joel. “You have stopped at nothing to gaslight me into thinking that what I saw wasn’t real.”

Turning to Tommy as he tried to intervene and calm you down, you pointed at him too. “And you’re no better! You could have told me. I just wanted to know that it was actually a werewolf that saved my life and it wasn’t all a fucking dream that I made up to deal with the trauma - excuse me for dealing with a near death experience like a normal human being while you two think it’s funny!” 

Blowing past Joel, you exit the room and make your way towards the exit. Tommy moves off his seat to follow you, but Joel holds his hand out and shakes his head, stopping him. “No, this is on me brother, I should fix this.”

“Joel.” Tommy calls after his brother, then sits back down with a pessimistic sigh. “She hates your fucking guts right now.” 

Tommy uses his abilities to listen to his brother breaking out into a light jog, chasing after you out of the library. He could hear two sets of boots crunching in the snow, then the sound of your sniffles as fought back the tears when arguing with Joel.

Your emotions were powerful, Tommy took note of that the moment he met you that night in the forest. He feels everything you feel. The man didn’t have to focus on the conversation between you and his brother to know what’s going on out there, just focusing on the powerful emotions you were emitting told him enough. 

You are hurt and angry, hesitant. You feel lost, unsure if you should trust Joel because the next emotion Tommy feels is… lust? It’s very brief, like a flickering light in a blanket of fog, but it was there for a second and gone in the next. Tommy felt it and as soon as he did, he blocked everything out as you talked to Joel. 

“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to listen to your useless apologies.” Ending the argument, you turn to walk away but Joel grabs your hand and pulls you back to him. He was holding you so close that your breasts pushed up against his chest as he shook his head. “Well that’s too bad because you’re gonna listen to my apology anyway - I am sorry for what I did to you.” 

“Like I said, it’s useless.” You shrug, trying with everything you’ve got to hide how you really feel to a werewolf that can fucking sense it. He can feel what you feel, you know he does but instead of smirking like the usual big-headed asshole that he is, Joel only nods in agreement. “I know. I just wanted you to know that it was never my intention to get the town to turn on you like they did. I may have fucked up my chances with you and I can live with that, but don’t leave your home because of me, Y/N.” 

“Your chances?” Scoffing, you shake your head slowly at him. “What chances, Joel? There wasn’t any to begin with. You made it very clear how much you didn’t like me when we first met in the clinic and therefore I do not like you either.” 

“Darlin’ don’t lie to yourself, I am a werewolf.” He smiles briefly, then looks down to your lips, holds his gaze there for a moment then looks back into your eyes. “You know how powerful your emotions are? It’s more than the average person let me tell yer.” Joel chuckles dryly, rolling his lips together. “There’s been a moment once or twice now where I could have kissed you, fully knowing you would have liked it but… I’d much prefer you to kiss me instead, in your own time when you’re ready.” 

“Um-hum.” You agree to disagree with what he is saying. There has been a moment where you wanted to kiss Joel, but right now? Now isn’t the time - you’re still too upset with him over the things he has done.

Pulling away from his grasp, he lets you go and you continue your walk along the trail. You want to forgive him, but you’re not quite ready to just yet. Time is needed for you to get over it and process everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.

“Go get Tommy, we’re leaving.” You yell over your shoulder, hugging your jacket to stay warm. “I don’t know how to get back to Jackson on my own.” 

You may be upset right now with the Millers, more with Joel than anyone else, but going back to your home in Jackson sounds like a great idea. Werewolves are real, two of them saved you from death and you did find a safe haven after spending a long time searching for it. None of it was a dream - all of it was real and you can finally let it rest now that you know the truth. That’s all you wanted, the truth. 

Walking to the end of the trail, you waited for Joel and Tommy to catch up as the direction to go in next was lost on you. Left, right, or straight ahead were the options and you looked at all three, wondering if that intuition you had early could take a guess for you. Going straight ahead felt right for some reason, you don’t know why of course, but something felt right with that direction. 

You turn to check on the men upon hearing their boots wading through the snow, but tilt your head in wonder as to why on earth Tommy was walking by himself with clothes in his hand. Where is Joel? You wonder. 

I’m right behind you, but don’t freak out when you see me…please.

Shrieking, you stiffen like a rod with the presence behind you, it was casting a shadow in the snow in front of you, but what is most surprising is the sound of Joel’s voice that didn’t enter your ears. It came through your mind.

Tommy approaches as you still stand on the spot, apparently frozen in place, and he chuckles warmly. “Don’t be so afraid, girl. I know we look scary as wolves, but Joel looks like a cute cuddly dog, I promise.” 

Joel growls with that comment from his brother and you feel it blow across your back. It makes you gasp, but your eyes remain glued to Tommy’s face, more particularly at the way he tilts his head back to look at his brother behind you. How fucking big is he? You wonder again, completely forgetting that they both can hear your thoughts. Tommy laughs again and his eyes lower, then he then looks at you. “Turn around and you’ll see for yourself.” 

“You and your brother are not normal people, and that’s not even including the fact you’re werewolves.” You jibe out of nervousness, turning around reluctantly, the first thing that came into view was black fur. It was so dark, like the infinite darkness of the night sky up above. Joel’s fur shone bright like a star against the white snow all around him, it was soft and fluffy. Then you looked at his face - the face of a wolf. 

He was laying down on the floor, hiding his true size but his head was large and his ears too, they were pointing upwards as he looked up at you. Strands of greying fur around the eyes and mouth, with a big shiny snout, it was bizarre to look at an animal that is so expressive and beautiful, yet equally terrifying at the same time.

And it’s even more bizarre that this animal is Joel. He looks magnificent, magical. And his eyes were most extraordinary. Bright neon red with an expanded black pupil in the middle, they were mesmerizing to look at, like they were sucking you into a comfortable trance. 

If it wasn’t the warm cloud of air exhaling from his nose, you wouldn’t think he was real. Still looking up at you as you stare with fascination, Joel doesn’t blink or move a muscle, he just remains as still as a statue until your heart settles back to a normal beat. I ain’t that terrifying, am I? He asks, unintentionally startling you as you jolt with surprise. 

“Stop that.” You retort, looking between Joel and Tommy. “Don’t read my mind and stop talking to me telepathically, it’s freaky.” 

“As you wish.” Tommy holds a hand over his heart, pledging his promise and when you look back down to Joel, he winks, the action bringing a small smile on your lips, however you digress with the last issue at hand. “Okay so this is what you look like as a werewolf laying down, but… How tall are you? Tommy was damn near looking at a giant behind me just a moment ago.” 

Now Joel finally moves, starting by bringing his two paws out just in front of your feet, which were abnormally large, and very slowly stands up. Your neck cranes backwards and your eyes widen with shock. Eight foot tall easily, maybe even nine.

It was incredible how tall he is as a wolf. You felt puny and small compared to him and it really made you realize how weak you are. It’s a good thing you never wanted to hurt the werewolves and start a war because it’s a war that you’d surely lose.

“Thank you.” You blurt out, looking into Joel’s red eyes then over to Tommy’s normal, human eyes. “Thank you for saving my life and thank you for telling me the truth about you both. I’ll keep your secret, but Joel-” You look back at him, holding his eye contact with a serious tone of voice. “-The next person that comes along who knows about a werewolf in Jackson, don’t make the same mistake twice. Make up a believable lie or tell them the truth, but don’t ever do that shit again. You hear me?” 

Bowing his head slowly with closed eyes, he whispers ‘loud and clear darlin’, before lifting his head again and turning around to lead the way home which was surprisingly straight ahead. You were right earlier about which direction to take. I have a good sense of direction. You thought, and forgot for a third time that the men can hear you, though they didn’t really show any interest. 

You feel more at ease now accepting the brothers and their supernatural abilities, but it makes you wonder if they have ever listened to you before. You have a lot of conversations in your head and have said some things about Joel before too.

He probably did listen to my thoughts, and most likely is now. You narrow your eyes, watching Joel like a hawk for any tell-tale signs that give himself away; however he gave none and still showed no interest in what you were thinking, but that didn’t convince you at all and you wanted to test it again, just for your own amusement. 

Tommy is the better werewolf and I bet he is stronger too. You think with a smirk on your lips, yet there still was no reaction from Joel. Wow, his fur is grey in a lot of places. I guess his age shows through the wolf side of him too. Poor old dog. Still no interest or reaction, but you stifle a giggle from all the enjoyment you’re getting out of this. If Joel is listening, you know that he is biting his tongue to stop himself from replying to you. 

A cold breeze puts a stop to your games as you shiver and hug your jacket again. It’s well after midnight by now and you have another two hours to go before reaching the gates of Jackson. Laying in a warm bed buried beneath two blankets sounds perfect right now and you wished you could get there quicker. 

“Y/N.” Tommy calls your name and you look over to see him shaking off his jacket. “Here, take this.” You tried to protest, worrying that he is going to be cold but he reminded you that he is a werewolf that is constantly running a high temperature. “We can handle the cold, don’t worry.” 

Nodding, you close your eyes briefly to relish in the heat of his jacket. It felt like it had just come out of the dryer and it stayed like that for a while too. For a moment you started to work up a sweat, but as his warmth faded from the fabric and the cold started to work its way back, you were satisfied with the temperature that wearing two jackets brought, keeping you nice and cosy.

As the first hour passes, you yawn excessively with exhaustion setting in your bones and that apparently was enough for Joel to take action. He stopped walking and leaned down to bite the back of your jacket gently before lifting you off the ground to put you on his back.

Kicking and complaining the whole time he did this, his next words silenced your grumbling. You need to rest, Y/N and besides, this poor old dog can manage carrying you home. 

Oh, so you were listening… You smile bashfully, shaking your head. The offer to carry you home was nice, although it felt a little funny to be on the back of a wolf, as if you were riding a horse, but it’s a lot bigger, warmer and fluffier. Looking down to Tommy, you wanted to see how high up you are, but were surprised to see that he wasn’t there. 

A branch snapping behind you catches your attention and you turn to see him coming out of the trees - as a wolf, carrying two sets of clothes with his teeth. The sight of him walking alongside Joel really emphasized the size difference. Tommy is a big wolf too, but Joel is much bigger. 

“So, is it the older you are the bigger the wolf you are?” You giggle, watching the way Joel and Tommy glance at each other and roll their eyes. They didn’t answer which only fuels you to make another remark, though this time you moved closer to Joel’s ears to ask. “Or does it go by how much of an asshole you are?”

Ha ha, very funny, Joel fake chuckles then warns, hold on tight darlin’. 

Gripping his fur just in time, he starts running alongside Tommy and you gasp with a rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. The speed was phenomenal. The trees were blurry as they passed you, like you were going fifty miles per hour in a car down the highway. It was exciting and a little frightening too. 

On a hot summer’s day you probably would enjoy this as the breeze blows through your hair with the sun beating down on your skin, but right now it’s just making you colder. Joel didn’t need to read your thoughts or wait for you to ask, he could feel all the emotions you were feeling and slowed back down to a comfortable pace again. 

If anyone were to be out in this neck of the woods at this time of night - which isn’t uncommon nowadays - then they would be in for quite the surprise seeing two werewolves with a small human riding on the back of one of them.

The image surely looks weird, and it feels weird too but it’s starting to grow on you. Joel is soft and comfy, prompting you to run an explorative hand through the fur on the back of his neck. You just wanted to see what it feels like and it was a nice sensation on your fingers. And Joel liked it too. 

You could tell he liked it from the way he tilted his head slightly, as if leaning into your touch, and from the low humming growl emitting through his body beneath you. Then, the man took it upon himself to tell you how much he likes it. Keep doing that, darlin’, he says, making you blush as you scratch his neck for a couple seconds then pull your hand back. 

On your right, Tommy was looking at you with an expression you can only describe as smirking. Eyes narrowed with the corner of his lip pulled back into a smile, he huffs dryly and looks ahead again. It was just a scratch, you have hardly forgiven Joel yet, and are making the most of teasing him wherever you can.  

Time flew by much quicker with the help of Joel carrying you home and before you knew it, he and Tommy stopped just before the treeline outside of Jackson. We’re here, hang on and let me help you get down. Says Joel as he slowly lays down to the floor so you can jump off without breaking your ankles. Once your feet hit the snowy ground below, both of them went off into the trees then shrunk down to their regular human forms and got dressed. 

Seeing Joel and Tommy’s faces brought a familiar and comforting sensation. Their wolf sides were interesting to see, but their human forms are what you’re used to. Together, you three emerge from the treeline and walk across the field towards the gates of Jackson and when the doors open, you are met with a commotion of worry and joy. 

It was a crowd of people, at least twenty, all bombarding you with questions regarding your safety and if you were okay. A welcome back party that you didn’t expect, but greatly appreciated. Amongst the crowd of course was Melinda and she pushed way to the front to grab you by the arms then pull you in for a tight hug.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” She whispers into your hair, squeezing the air out of your lungs. “I’ve been so worried about you.” 

“I’m so sorry, Mel.” Apologizing as she pulls back, she brushes the hair away from your eyes to look at you. The woman smiles then scrunches her nose as she shakes her head. “I forgive you. So long as you’re home safe and you’re staying here.” 

“I am.” You nod, moving in to hug her again. Over her shoulder stood Tracy and Jack, both expressing an empathetic smile. “Glad to have you back.” Jack says, with Tracy adding to that. “How on earth did you not freeze to death out there? You must be so cold.”

Explaining everything that happened to Mel, Jack and Tracy, you left out all of the details about Joel and Tommy being werewolves of course, and they in turn explained what happened in Jackson after you left.

Maria gathered everyone into the church and shared that two people had died from the raid. Martha and David, an elderly couple who didn’t make it to their basement in time when the alarm was sounded, they unfortunately died at the hands of the bandits and a funeral is being held for them tomorrow. 

You expected bad news, but this is far worse than you imagined. It brought you a great deal of pain knowing that two innocent people lost their lives. And you couldn’t stop the guilt either. The bandits followed you here and you lowered your head in shame, however Mel placed her thumb and forefinger to your chin, lifting your head back up. “This - is not your fault, my darling girl. The bandits followed one of the patrollers home. You aren’t the reason for Martha and David’s death. The scum who raided our community are - not you, okay?” 

“Oh… That’s awful Mel.” You sigh, shaking your head. “Is the patroller okay? Has anyone spoken to them and told them that it’s not their fault either. I still feel so bad.” 

Mel cringes, as if she was reluctant to say what she really wants to say before a voice you recognise steps forth from the crowd. “It was me, the bandits followed me home.”

Jake - it was Jake who stepped forward. “I blamed you for this because I couldn’t handle the guilt, but I confessed as soon as I heard you left Jackson.” He apologizes, but unfortunately for him, you were too overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions to care - one of them being anger. 

Moving away from Mel’s arms, you couldn’t stop yourself from acting on your heat of the moment impulses as all you wanted to do was slap Jake across the face. That fucking asshole joined in on the crowd to blame you when he knew he was the one who led the bandits here!

Jake fanned the flames to the raging fire of blame people put on you just to save himself. You were furious and out of control, but seconds before you reached his position, a fist came out of nowhere on your right and punched Jake on his jaw. 

Joel was the one who delivered that punch and Jake fell right down on his ass, holding a hand to the already bruising skin, however Joel didn’t stop there. He knelt down to be at Jake's level before delivering some harsh words on your behalf. “Everybody makes mistakes son. I can forgive you for the bandits following you here, but putting the blame on her is spineless behaviour -” Joel leans in to whisper a threat. “-don’t ever go near Y/N again.” 

Some of the things Joel said was a tad too far compared to what you would have said, but Jake nods three times quickly then looks at you, still holding his jaw as he apologizes again. He then pulls himself off the ground and hastily walks through the crowd with two friends at his side, checking if he was okay.

You felt sorry for him after the humiliating treatment he had just received from Joel in front of a crowd of people, but you can’t deny that a small part of you found it so fucking sexy seeing Joel defend you like that. 

“Goddammit. Why did you do that?” The voice of reason sighs with frustration. Shaking his head with disapproval, Tommy walks over to his brother and mutters a few quiet words into his ear, no doubt reprimanding him for punching another resident in Jackson.

Joel nods to his brother then turns to walk away, and a little pang of sadness strikes you then as you wanted to speak to him, to thank him or maybe ask what he was thinking by doing that. 

I can still feel your emotions, you know. Joel says, bringing a small smile to your face. I’ll come see you later, we’ll talk then. 

Nodding, although he can’t even see you doing it, you turn to Tommy and ask what will happen now. “Will he get in trouble for that?” 

“I wish.” Tommy laughs, then shakes his head. “I told him to go fix his mistake. Maria has probably told that kid it isn’t his fault and now Joel has just made it his fault in front of everyone.” 

“Yeah, I see your dilemma.” Sighing, you scratch the back of your head looking for a way to help but nothing comes to mind and instead, you apologize for possibly making things worse than what they already were, however Tommy shushes you. “N-hm. None of that now, girl. You don’t have anything to apologize for. I told you when we first met, Joel just expects the worst in people these days.” 

“What you really mean to say is that he’s an asshole.” You retort with a laugh, to which Tommy nods in agreement and laughs too. “And that wasn’t the first time we met, remember?” Nudging his side, it was like a little inside joke you have now that you know about him being the werewolf that saved you. 

After saying your goodbyes to everyone, you started walking down the street to make your way home. Thankfully in the winter months, the sun doesn’t rise as early and you can have a lay in tomorrow without the disturbance of light blaring through your window. Mel ordered you to take the day off, which is funny because you’ve only worked there for three days now, but you accepted her order without any complaints nonetheless.

A day off sounds good, you have a lot of questions for Joel or Tommy about werewolves that you’d like to know about; too many to answer in a little chat with the older Miller before tucking in for the night, who was currently sitting on your porch steps waiting for you. 

“Hey.” You say before taking a seat beside him. 

“Hi darlin’.” Joel replies, playfully nudging his knee into yours, then the man sighs and turns to face you. “Go on, spit it all out. I know you’re dying to ask.” 

“I don’t know which one to ask first.” Shrugging, you turn to the side also and lean against the post on your railing. “Just… I don’t know, start from the beginning and tell me whatever. I’ll ask questions as they pop into my head.” 

“Does this mean I’m forgiven now?” Joel wrinkles his lips with raised brows, to which you quickly reply. “No. I still hate you.” 

“Alright, fair enough.” Joel chuckles and leans back to get comfy. You could have the best poker face in the world and be an expert liar, but no emotion or scent gets past the werewolf inside of him.

Things haven’t changed, he still doesn’t mind waiting for you to feel ready to kiss him. Your pace is best as he is already on a slippery slope with you at the moment. Scratching the back of his head as he thinks where he should start, he figures he should start from the beginning - his first shift. “Me and Tommy have the werewolf gene in our family, and he activated his gene first when he killed a man…” 

As he trails off with the events in his life, you sit quietly and learn through his way of telling a story that Joel and Tommy come from a long line of werewolves and the gene is activated when killing another human. His grandpa activated the gene in world war two and spent the rest of his life in a cabin up in the mountains, away from society and Joel’s father made his way through life and died at the age of seventy - without activating the gene, however with the world ending and the dead rose to life, the Miller brothers had been dealt a hand they never thought they would. The death of Joel’s daughter. 

Not only did you learn that Joel had a daughter before Ellie, you also learned that she died at the hands of a Fedra Officer who followed his orders to kill. Tommy shot that man to save Joel from death and therefore activated the werewolf gene. A question did pop into your mind, but you held off asking it out of respect. The way Joel’s voice shook as he shared that time of his life with you, withheld you from the urge to know her name. You didn’t want to focus on the subject around his daughter as he moved on from it to explain how he activated the gene. 

“Two days after, I killed a man out of rage.” He lowers his head in shame. “The guy was trying to steal our stuff and I could have fought him off without hurting him, but…” Joel shrugs, avoiding your eye contact. “But I wanted to hurt him and I did… I just didn’t stop.” 

“I can understand why you did it, but I can never understand how it feels to lose what you’ve lost.” You say softly, reaching out for his hand to reassure him, which he took and returned a gentle squeeze, reassuring you that he is okay before pulling his hand back and moving on with the story again. The loss of his daughter is still sore to talk about, you can tell, and you won’t push him for answers. Joel can tell you in his own time. 

“So anyways.” Joel sighs, trying to remember where he left off. “Me and Tommy shifted for the first time that month with the rise of the full moon and it was… it was just awful. We were scared and confused, in a lot of pain and we had zero control over our bodies for the entire night. Full moons are always bad, even now we can’t control our shifts on those days of the month.” 

“Wow, really?” You ask and Joel nods in reply. “I’m sorry that you both have to go through with that each month. Is it still painful?” Joel nods again, but this time sharing when the next full moon is. “You won’t see me and Tommy on Thursday. We’ll be away from Jackson when the full moon rises on that night.” 

“Oh.” You sigh, understanding a little more just how bad it is for him. “Will you both be okay though?” 

“Look at you, worrying about me.” Joel chuckles, leaning in a little while briefly looking down to your lips. “Yeah. We’ll be okay darlin’, just got to get through the night then we’ll be back Friday morning.”

“That’s good - good to know.” You whisper, using a phrase Joel used on you once with a smirk on your lips as you move back. He was leaning in, sneakily trying to close the gap to kiss you. Thinking this was as good a time as any to cut the conversation and head to bed, you stood from the porch and said goodnight. “I still have questions, but I’m ready for my bed Joel.” 

“So…” He stands also, speaking with a teasing tone. “I’ll come back tomorrow? You know, to answer all those questions for you.” 

“Maybe, I don’t know yet.” Returning the playful tone, your answer is yes, you want to know more about him but teasing him for now is fun. “I’ll let you know tomorrow. If you knock and I don’t answer, then maybe another time.” 

Shaking his head at you as he laughs, he bites his lip and whispers seductively. “Babydoll you do understand that I not only feel your emotions but…” He leans in to whisper, “But I can smell your pheromones too. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow when I knock on your door.” 

The man pulls away from you and walks down the steps of your porch, leaving you breathless and shocked. You’re aroused right now, and Joel can apparently smell that. I wonder what else a werewolf can do? You think to yourself as you head inside your house, to which Joel replies. I’ll show you all the things I can do tomorrow. He chuckles sinisterly, making you shake your head at him. You liked it, but you won’t admit that yet, not until you’ve had your fill of being angry with him, however his next words made you gasp with shock. 

I can see your dreams if I want to darlin’. 

Blushing as you walk up the stairs into your bedroom, you climb in bed and close your eyes with a smile on your lips, wondering about all the abilities that Joel has. His ability to see your dreams is most interesting as the memory of the wet dream you had about him last night pops into your mind. You wonder if he saw that. Acting like you aren’t attracted to him obviously doesn’t work as he knows. The werewolf within knows how much you’re attracted to Joel. 

Is it so wrong to make him wait though? You’re not ready just to forgive and forget so easily. A large part of you wants to kiss him, to feel his lips on yours and his hands on your body, but another large part of you is still angry. It’s like you forget about all the things he has done when you’re in his presence and only the good parts remain. There’s a warm aura around Joel and you wrap yourself up in it whenever you're with him. You often forget that he is an asshole and have to remind yourself. You should hate him - but you don’t. 

You understand Joel. You understand the reasons for his actions a lot more now, even if he did make you upset and leave Jackson thinking that you’re not wanted here. But you are wanted here. This is your home. Everything feels so right. Laying in your bed right now after the conversation you’ve shared with Joel on your front porch, you feel right where you belong. It’s almost too right…. 

Like you’re here for a reason. 

The Next Day

Making the most of your day off today, you didn’t plan on spending all your time in bed and are almost at your destination five miles out of Jackson with Tommy. Joel is tagging along too, he and his brother are going to show you all there is to know about their werewolf capabilities. And in order to do that, they need to be out of Jackson away from the people. The secret must be protected. 

You have had some time to think about it, and it really makes you wonder why the Miller’s don’t just tell the community their secret. You believe everyone would have an open mind about it and come to accept their differences. They might be terrified at first - just like you were - but having two supernatural wolves protecting Jackson is a huge advantage in this world. 

Joel and Tommy are like two unsung heroes. No one knows what they really do to protect the people living here in the community, not even you know. You’ve only known about the werewolves for a month and don’t know the extent of what dangers the two brothers put themselves in front of to protect Jackson. However, today you might get to know a little more about what they do. 

The destination is the ski lodge way up in the mountains. The first stop where you all will take a break and feed the horses before moving on. Your questions couldn’t wait any longer and the first one was why. “Why are you taking me so far out?” You ask Tommy, then make a joke. “Did Joel convince you to leave me there to die?” 

Giggling to yourself as the men chuckle, Tommy shakes his head and answers your question. “There’s a spot we use up there, it’s remote and out of the way. We aren’t taking you there to leave you, but we could leave Joel there instead if you want.”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” You nod, giving Joel a sideways glance and the man looked at you unamused with your plans today. Joel thought he’d be coming over to your house, sharing all that he knows in the privacy of your living room, however your bright idea to invite Tommy on a trip beyond the walls drove a pin in his hopes to get a kiss from you. 

You know yourself that you will cave and kiss Joel if you and him stayed in your home, talking about everything. Getting out of the house and out of Jackson with Tommy helps keep your mind off thinking about how Joel’s lips feel on yours. You and Joel know you will end up kissing each other, and all he is waiting for now is a moment alone with you, but you’re not going to give it to him. Just to be the asshole for a change. 

“Up ahead gang, we’re almost there.” Tommy points a finger. Looking to where he was pointing, you saw the ski lodge at the top of the hill on the edge of the mountain. It doesn’t look high, but when you turn around and look behind you, a pit in your stomach weighs heavy with fear. 

“Scared of heights?” Joel asks rhetorically. Sensing your fear, he already knows what you’re feeling right now and looks behind him with a shake of his head. “Don’t think too much about the height. It’s got a nice view up there and you’ll like it darlin’, I promise.” 

“Thank you.” You smile briefly then urge your horse to trot faster. Joel’s intense lingering gaze was doing something to you and you needed to move on quickly before falling into a trance. Approaching the entrance of the ski lodge, you pass the lift on your right and look up with amazement in your eyes. You’ve never been to a ski lodge before or seen what the lifts look like. There were two empty glass carts sitting at the top with a strong cable leading down the mountain. 

The ski lodge itself had a lot of glass windows, therefore allowing a lot of natural light to spill inside and providing a beautiful three-sixty view of the surroundings. After bringing the horses inside the entrance, you walk through the doors and take a look around. Above your head just as you entered was a sign reading ‘Bison Trail Ski Lift’, to your left was a long counter top with signs up on the wall stating what food and beverage items they sold, and on the right was a souvenir stall, selling shirts. 

This place is out of commission of course, there’s no one around anymore to take your order and to buy the shirts from, but there was a sentiment of nostalgia around everything you looked at. You simply enjoyed envisioning what it would have looked like back in the day with people walking through here with mugs of hot cocoa in their hands, or lining up for the lift outside wearing their winter gear. An experience you never had twenty years ago, but enjoyed thinking about now. 

This place was beautiful and a perfect place to stop for a break. It may be out of commission, but it’s still in good use for you, Joel and Tommy. Continuing through the building, you walk down the steps into the seating area. It was a large space with multiple places for you to choose where to sit. A table with magazines on the top and a patterned rug underneath beside three sets of sofas sat in front of the window and it looked nice, however you wanted to move to the back of the room and get a better view. 

Walking past another bar where people used to buy drinks, there were lots of wooden tables with parasols in the middle across the floor, all kept neat and tidy, giving you the sense that this place has either been taken care of by Joel and Tommy, or it’s just never had any visitors in the last two decades. The place was dusty, but not dirty. 

After finding a nice set of tables and chairs by the window at the far back of the room, you leaned on the window ledge to look out and beyond. As far as the eye could see, you saw nothing but miles upon miles of nature in all of its glory. Trees overgrown after years of replenishment, though they’re covered in snow, you can see specks of green and brown peaking through.

The terrain is substantial, wide open valleys with a vast amount of space and in the distance there was Jackson sitting in the middle of it all. You could see the tall wooden walls surrounding the town. Even from way out here, it still looks like a little bustling city. 

“Told you it had a nice view.” You smile at the sound of Joel’s deep voice behind you. He pulls out a chair and takes a seat while you continue to gaze across the land before your eyes, humming in agreement with him. He was right to make that promise, you do like the view up here, even if the height is a little worrying. 

Holding back your reaction as two glowing eyes appear in the glass window, it was Joel’s reflection from behind you and it made you feel a certain way seeing it. He was leaning back into his chair to put himself in your view before making his eyes glow then slowly look down at your body.

When your eyes met in the reflection, you couldn’t stop the blush from burning your cheeks. The way he was looking at you was like a man starved and you were a meal, ready to be devoured. Joel crooks a brow, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip ever so slowly, still looking at you with glowing red eyes. 

“Tommy.” You smirk while calling his brother's name. “Are you coming to join us or what? I want to know why your eyes are different from Joel’s.” 

Turning around and looking at Joel, who now showed his human coloured eyes while shaking his head at you, Tommy makes his way over to join you both at the table with a large flask and three small cups. He unscrews the cap and pours out some coffee into each of them before leaning back into his chair. “I’m not too sure what exactly made his eyes change but it’s only when we’re together that they’re red.” 

“It’s because I’m the boss, little brother, that’s why.” Joel chuckles. Taking a cup from the table top and leaning back into his chair also. After sharing a brief laugh with them both about that comment then taking a sip of your coffee, you lower the cup to ask. “What do you mean when you’re together? Haven’t you always been together?” 

Both men shake their heads and it’s Joel that answers, sharing a little about the gap in the last twenty years where he was apart from his brother. “In the beginning, my eyes glowed the same like Tommy’s, but it was around the fourth or fifth shift that they turned red instead. They stayed like that for years, but when we got into a disagreement-”

“It was more than a disagreement.” Tommy interjects, cutting his brother off to laugh about it before quieting down again to let him continue. 

“When we had that argument that became too much and Tommy left me all on my own-” Joel laughs, returning a playful insult to his brother. “-My eyes went back to their original colour and they stayed like that for years until I was reunited with Tommy and the red came back.” 

“Wow. That’s weird.” Frowning, you know as much as Joel or Tommy at this point, but the only thing you could think of was the book Ginny gave you and what it said inside. “Could it be because you’re a pack when together? And Joel’s the leader?”

Watching their faces twist like you just said the moon is made of cheese, you roll your eyes and sigh. “I have a book back home. I don’t know how much of it is actually true, but some of the things in there have been true so far. It mentions things about wolves in packs having a leader.” 

“Well I don’t deny that Joel is more of a leader.” Tommy agrees, looking at you as he pays a compliment to his brother. “He’s always been that way. Always taking charge and guiding me, although a lot of the time we disagree.” 

“You’re brothers, that’s what brothers do.” You say before taking another sip of your coffee. Thinking about the book and what you read, you remembered reading something about Alphas, Omegas and Betas, therefore prompting you to ask Joel. “Do you think you’re the Alpha werewolf? That could be why your eyes are red.” 

“I don’t know, darlin’.” Shrugging, Joel lowers his coffee and leans forward to place his elbows to the table. “I don’t particularly care about how or why my eyes are red. I just do what I gotta do to keep me and my family safe. Besides, you think they’re hot, so that’s good enough for me.” 

“Oh my God.” You scoff, turning away to look out of the window as Joel and Tommy laugh at your rosy red cheeks. The game of tit for tat between you and him continues, but at least now you’re not at each other’s throat ready to kill each other. It’s fun and sweet, even if you are the centre of attention right now feeling called out. “That isn’t fair you know.” Whining about it jokingly, you turn to look at them both. “It’s not fair that you can read my mind, and I do remember asking you to stop that.” 

“Sorry.” Joel and Tommy say in unison. The younger Miller looks to his brother, holding a hand over his mouth to hide his smirk while Joel hides behind his cup of coffee. You narrow your eyes, watching them carefully as it looks like they were talking to each other without moving their lips. When Joel chokes on his coffee to break out with laughter, you shake your head at them both and ask. “What are you saying? I can tell you’re talking to each other, I ain’t dumb.” 

“Oooh, look at you. Suddenly you’re the expert on wolves.” Joel taunts between laughter, while Tommy buries his face into the palms of his hands. Waiting for them both to get it all out of their systems, you liked seeing this side of the Miller brothers. They both looked so comfortable and happy, laughing at your expense together like a pair of kids. 

What you liked most is that two days ago the steam would have been blowing out of your ears with annoyance being laughed at by Tommy and Joel, but now it’s so very different. It didn’t feel wrong in the slightest and it even made you giggle just listening to them both. After they settle down again, you move on with the conversation, but Tommy asks you a question instead. ��Tell us a little about you, what was Y/N’s life before the world ended?” 

“Oh, um… I worked at my mom's store.” You smile with the memories flashing behind your eyes. “It was nothing special I suppose, but I loved every second working with her.” Joel and Tommy remain quiet with smiles on their faces as you continue. “She would find all these broken antiques and trinkets to fix up before selling, and it’s funny, you know because when I was really young, I thought her skills were like magic - I used to think there was no way my mom could fix that.” You laugh fondly, feeling a pang of sadness. “But she did. She fixed everything she found, made it look pretty again and sold it. My mom brought all those broken things back to life again… and she was magical to me.” 

Clearing your throat as a lump begins to form, you move on and share where and what you were doing the day of the outbreak. “I was with my mom - thankfully, and we were just about to open the store for the day when a crazed woman threw herself into the window.” You shake your head, looking at Joel and Tommy. “She wouldn’t stop throwing her head against the glass. Blood was everywhere, her eyes were… gone. And uh, anyways the glass began to break and I had a really strong feeling to get out of the way before she made it inside. So I took my mom’s hand and I ran with her… We didn’t stop running and that’s all we ever did, right up until she died eleven years later.” 

“I’m so sorry.” Tommy reaches across the table, offering his hand. Wiping the stray tear away from your eyes before taking his hand, you reassured him that you were okay. “Thank you, but I’m okay - really. My mom died in her sleep, and if you ask me that’s the best way to go.” 

“Sure is, darlin’.” Joel whispers, nudging his leg into yours from underneath the table. A small gesture that you appreciated from both men. It hurts to talk about these things, but it also feels good to say it out loud and get it off your chest. Taking a deep breath inward to collect yourself, you release Tommy’s hand and smile at him, showing them both that you’re okay. 

“So yeah. That was me before the outbreak.” Digressing with the story of your life, you share what happened after your mothers death. “I was on my own for a couple years before coming across a community in Idaho. I stayed there until someone got a little lazy with their job one day and a stalker got inside.” Joel and Tommy sigh, both understanding the severity of that mistake. “I’m sure you can picture what happened after that, but I ended up on the road again, looking for a place called Jackson that has big sturdy walls, providing food and shelter for survivors. And I found it six months later - just not the way I thought I would.” 

“You got more than you bargained for.” Tommy makes a light joke, easing your blues. “You came looking for Jackson and found two asshole werewolves instead.” 

Unanimously agreeing with that statement, all three of you share a light amount of laughter over Tommy’s comment. It’s true, you did get more than you bargained for, but you wouldn’t change how things have played out. It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. “I found my safe haven here.” You say, nodding to them both. “I know Jackson is where I’m supposed to be.” 

After finishing off your beverage of hot coffee and chatting some about your lives, you all prepare to get back on the horses and continue your ride to the next stop. The next stop is a cabin further up in the mountain, completely hidden away from society. Tommy shared earlier that he and Joel use that cabin during the night of a full moon. A place of rest after running wild for hours. 

Wondering why they wanted to bring you there, you quickly understood why when emerging from the trees and seeing it for yourself. The cabin was lavish, looking as if it was taken right out of a magazine and out here. Two padded swings sat on either side of the front porch and it looked beautiful on the outside. With lots of windows to provide natural light inside, the A-frame roof was covered in moss, giving it that naturistic touch, which paired beautifully with the dark mahogany wood. 

Following Joel and Tommy around the back of the cabin, there was a small stable to put all three of the horses inside. After they are safely put away, you walk around to the front and take a seat on one of the swings. “Okay fellers.” You clap your hands together, showing them that you’re ready. “Tell me why you brought me here. What do you have to show me?”

“You wanted to see what we could do, so let me show you first.” Joel chuckles, walking across the small field towards the trees. When he stops at one of the smaller ones, he looks at his brother and you with a smirk before pulling his hand back and punching through the bark. Mouth falling open, aghast with his supernatural strength, the wood began to splinter apart and the tree groaned on its way down to the ground, landing with a heavy thump. 

“Wow!” You grin, looking over at Tommy beside you, who wiggled his brows with pride in return, but when looking back to Joel, he asks if you were ready to see him shift and take a moment before nodding. The distance between you and him wasn’t that far away, but you lean forward to focus as his chest begins to expand, tearing the fabric of his shirt. Joel’s face slowly disappears and the furry face of a wolf takes over as he continues to grow legs with huge paws. It happened in the blink of an eye, yet you saw every millisecond of it with astonishment. 

Our voices hold great power, Y/N. Says Joel as he lowers his head like he was ready to pounce. Hold on a second, you’ll feel what I mean. 

A moment later, a vibration slowly ripples through your body, startling you. It didn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable, it was just startling. “What was that?” You ask, to which Tommy replies. “It was a growl emitting through your body, a quiet one. Joel could hurt you if he roars loud enough.” 

I would never hurt you, Y/N. Joel whispers in your mind, lifting his head as he begins to walk towards you. Sitting at the base of the steps in front of you, he had to lay down for you to see his face as he was taller than the roofing on the porch. Tommy takes a seat beside you, explaining each of his and Joel’s werewolf abilities in detail. “We’re more enhanced than the average human, but when we shift, the powers we have are amplified even more. We’re already strong and fast, but we become more when we’re a wolf.” 

“Yeah, I read about some of this stuff in that book back home.” You nod to them both, relaying what you already know. “Enhanced strength, speed, smell, healing and health. You and Joel, from what I understand, should never get sick. Is that right?” 

“That’s right.” Tommy nods, then leans back with a laugh. “But there is more to learn than what that book has written. “Our bite and scratches are infectious. We can kill a human with a nasty fever if we scratch them.” 

“Oh…” Your face contorts, cringing at the thought of what that would look like. “Only as a wolf or can you infect someone in human form?” 

“Just wolf.” Tommy replies, shaking his head. 

Sitting on the front porch together and sharing a long conversation, Tommy and Joel recite all of their abilities and everything they know about being a werewolf. You were growing more speechless with everything they shared, learning so much more than you could ever possibly fathom. Pain transference; the ability to absorb and alleviate pain from other people or creatures and can even heal, meaning Joel or Tommy could heal your injury or absorb your pain if you were hurt. 

Dream accessibility; Joel and Tommy can visibly see what someone is dreaming about, or they can give someone a dream too. The younger Miller shared his experiences of helping some of the children in Jackson when they were having nightmare troubles, while the older Miller remained silent. Which you picked up on right away, considering Joel didn’t tell you last night that he can give you dreams, not just see them. We’ll talk about that later. Is all you said about that to him. 

Memory transference; the ability to transfer (give or take) memories by inserting claws into the nape of an individual's neck. They could literally erase someone's mind if they wanted to. Empathy is amplified too, that’s why they can physically feel what other people feel, but that’s not all. Tommy shared that over the years, he and Joel have come to notice specific differences every month, some are substantial, while others are subtle and barely noticeable. 

“Well, what are the differences, what do you mean?” You ask, tilting your head with intrigue. 

“Fire is one of our weaknesses, but one occasion a fire broke out in my kitchen and I could hold my hand inside it.” Tommy explains, before looking at his brother. “After I put the fire out, I brought Joel over and held a lighter under his hand. It didn’t affect him either, but it should have.” 

“Was the month May?” A small smile spreads across your face with wonder. You have some knowledge about the moon and wonder if the things you learned as a child growing up correlates at all. After Tommy spent a moment trying to recollect if the month was in fact May, he nods with furrowed brows, curious to know what you know. 

“In the month of May, the moons that rise each night is known as the Fire Moon.” Still smiling as you share that information, the dots connect just like you thought they would and you took pleasure in explaining to them both how you knew this. “My mom came across this antique brass moon dial when I was younger. It was a clock, but instead of the numbers, it had all twelve different full moons of the year. May is the Fire Moon. I remember it clearly because I cried when she sold it.” 

“Do you remember them all? What about June?” Questions fleeing out of his mouth eagerly, Tommy could hardly contain his interest to know them all. “When May is over, the weakness of fire comes back, but then we can detect when someone is truly bad on the inside.” 

“Mirror Moon.” You laugh, shaking your head with disbelief. “The eyes are the mirror of the soul. You and Joel can see someone's soul in June or be immune to fire in May. This is just incredible!” 

Going through the twelve moons of the year and listening to everything Joel and Tommy can remember happening to them over the years, you learn more and more with each passing second. January in the Ice Moon, and it’s apparently one of the two months in the year where they both feel cold like a regular human does, every other month they go right back to normal, running a high temperature again. 

February is the Storm Moon, and Joel remembers on many occasions over the years being able to detect a storm coming in that month, not just physical ones, but mental ones too. Tommy agrees with him, reciting a time in Jackson when he suddenly got a strong urge to put Jackson on lockdown and sound the storm alarm. People thought he was crazy, but seconds after everyone got inside, the clouds above turned dark and a hurricane blew over.

March is the Wind Moon, and they both noticed how much faster they can run, as humans and as wolves. April is the Wild Moon, and they develop a connection with the animals in the wild. July is the Ghost Moon, and they each have noticed how the colour of their fur blends into the surroundings, almost making them invisible. August is the Lightning Moon, which provides Joel and Tommy immunity from electricity, another weakness that is lifted for one month. September is the Singing Moon, and it amplifies all of their powers. October is the Blood Moon, which unfortunately makes them aggressive, more so when they are in wolf form - and it also explains why Joel was acting like such a dick, you arrived here last month in October. November is the Frost Moon, the other month of the year where they actually feel the cold like a regular human. 

And finally, the last month of the year, December, is the Oak Moon. Suppose they saved the best for last as the experiences they’ve had over the years in that month are the most bizarre. Not only does their fur change to white, but on Christmas day, they can’t shift at all, and when the full moon rises at the end of that month, Joel and Tommy actually have the ability to control themselves, meaning they don’t have to travel far away from Jackson to get through the night as a wolf. 

Still chatting away to Tommy and Joel like there was no tomorrow, the time had gone completely over your heads and only upon noticing the afternoon sun lowering did you all realise. It was time to go back home, however you wanted to see inside the cabin. You’ve spent all your time out here, excitedly absorbing lots of information about werewolves and moons. 

“Can I see inside before we go?” You ask, looking through the window behind you. The inside looked just as beautiful as outside. The furniture was pristine, the ornaments handmade and decorative touches homey. As Joel and Tommy look at each other, nodding here or shaking their head there, you realise that they're having a telepathic conversation and wait until they're finished. 

“Would you like to stay the night?” Tommy turns to you with an offer that you can’t refuse. “I’ll radio Maria and let her know that we’ll be back tomorrow morning.” 

Nodding, you take him up on that offer and are about to jump out of your seat to hurry inside, however Joel shifts back into his human form, flashing his nudity to you. “Oh, Jesus Joel.” You panic, quickly tilting your face to the side as he walks up the steps. “You could give a warning before you do that, you know.” 

“I did.” He chuckles menacingly as he walks into the cabin. “But I only warned my brother, not you.” Because I knew you’d like what you saw darlin’, he whispers that part telepathically, eliciting you to shake your head with denial as the corners of your mouth pull into a smile. He was right, you did like what you saw. And all you can say is that he is big in all the right places. 

Heading inside with Tommy, you shook off your thoughts about Joel’s manhood for now and thought about how nice this cabin is instead. The lounge was cosy, although the room was a little cold, Tommy got to work right away and moved over to the fire to get it started while you looked around. 

You liked the layout, it was all open planned. An L shaped kitchen with a dark grey marble island in the middle and three bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and shower, this place looked more like a vacation home than a place for Tommy and Joel to ride out the night on a full moon. 

“How come you guys don’t tear up this place?” You ask while walking into the kitchen, making yourself at home by opening up the cupboards - which were empty of course. 

“Because we chain ourselves up in the basement.” Tommy answers before muttering a string of foul language under his breath after burning his fingers on the fire. “It’s too dangerous for us to be free roam on a full moon.” 

Understanding that, you then wonder how bad it gets for them. Joel shared a little about it last night, but you can’t help your curiosity to know how bad they are on the night of a full moon. Maybe one day when they’re comfortable enough, they will tell you about it, but for now, you won’t pry the information out of them just because you’re curious. 

As you round the corner of the kitchen leading to the hallway, you look at the slightly open door at the end of the hall and make a surprised sound when seeing a very naked Joel in the reflection of a mirror. He was getting dressed and you know you shouldn’t be watching him, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away. The man looks good from behind. His back is wide and tanned, chiselled with muscles, and his ass was really nice. Perfectly round and plump, however his legs prompted you to lick your lip. Thick thighs and strong calves. Joel Miller had a good looking pair of legs.

Quickly moving away before you are caught, the chances are that Joel already knows you were looking - he was probably hoping for it - but you didn’t want to let him have that satisfaction of catching you in the act of drooling over his body. The sound of static stole your attention and you turned to see Tommy messing around with the TV. “You have electricity up here?” 

“Yeah. It’s pretty neat right?” Tommy points to a big black device at his feet and you have no idea what it is. “Portable power source. It comes with a solar panel too, which is really handy.” He explains, talking enthusiastically like he was a child and that was the best toy ever. “It won’t produce a lot of power, but enough to keep you and Joel entertained while I hunt our dinner for the night.” 

Oh shit. What? Alone with Joel, in the cabin by a fire… that can’t be good. 

“Oh Tommy,  are you sure?” You ask nonchalantly, acting like dinner wasn’t a big deal when you’re actually starving. “I don’t want you to go through the trouble.” 

“Nah, of course I’m sure.” He stands, waving it off. “Besides, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” 

Nodding to him, you take a seat on the sofa and kick off your shoes to get comfy as he calls out to Joel, letting him know that he’s going out to get dinner. “Alright. Do you need my help?” Joel asks, and you sit there silently praying to a God above that Tommy says yes. You can’t trust yourself around Joel, he’s too damn handsome and all you can think about is climbing on his lap, which is exactly what he wants, while you want to torment him. 

“No, I’ll be alright.” Dammit. Tommy turns to leave, saying that he will be back soon as he exits the cabin and jogs across the field. Now, you’re all alone with Joel. Pulling the throw from the back of the sofa over your legs, as if that could even hide how you feel right now, you sink into your position and watch an episode of Friends on the TV. You could see a boxset on one of the shelves and it made you smile to think that Joel or Tommy likes the show. 

Light footsteps creak their way towards you as Joel joins you in the lounge, taking a seat on the sofa you’re on. “You like Friends?” He asks, raising his brows. “Tommy likes this show.” 

“Yeah, it’s good.” You reply, already feeling the burn in your cheeks as your eyes lower to look at what Joel was wearing. Pyjamas - he’s wearing pyjamas, but not just any old kind, the loose fitting plaid pants with a sexy sweater kind of pyjamas. He looked so good in them, good looking and comfy, inviting you to cosy on up next to him. Thankfully, his gaze was fixed on the TV so he didn’t pay attention to the way your eyes kept flicking over to him, or at least you hoped he wasn’t paying attention. 

Eyes darting to him when he moves, your heartbeat rose with the way he opened his legs and leaned back into his position. Joel’s just getting comfy, like you did, but you couldn’t help stare at his natural bulge poking out from beneath his pants. Jesus his legs. Those goddamn legs that you want to sit on and feel tense beneath you as you kiss him on the lips.  Your arousal was palpable, electrifying the energy between you and him right now, you could feel it, however he acted oblivious. You know that he knows. Joel knows you're turned on right now, but he isn’t acting on it. 

You wonder if it’s out of respect or nervousness. He knows you want to be mad at him for the things he did, and the thought of him holding back from kissing you out of respect only makes you hornier. Just like the latter. Thinking that anxiety to make the first move holds him back makes you more horny too. Both possibilities were arousing, but one thing you know for certain is that your panties are damp right now and that bulge in his pants is growing. He’s turned on too. 

Joel shifts his position, trying to relieve the throbbing ache between his legs while keeping his eyes glued to the TV, but you had completely abandoned watching the TV and instead chose to watch him suffer. This was cruel for the man and you loved every second of it. Your heart was still beating fast as you let your thoughts loose, thinking about how much you’d love to climb on his lap right now, straddling his thigh to get yourself off while he plants kisses on your breasts. 

Even closing your eyes to picture how it would look, you smirked when hearing cough awkwardly. As much as this was torture for Joel, knowing that you want him but he can’t have you, it was torture for you as well. You do want him. So fucking badly. Not caring any more, you were blinded by lust and sighed with your thoughts. I forgive you, Joel. 

The man instantly turns to look at you, his wanton eyes glowing like fire, you watch as his chest rises and falls with each deep breath. Joel looked like he was fighting a war inside of him, holding himself back from launching across the space between you both and tearing the clothes right off your body, however he didn’t do any of that. Instead, Joel exhales shakily while patting his thigh. “C’mere babydoll.” 

Moving across the sofa slowly, you watch as his hands ball into fists, still holding himself back from doing what he really wants to do. You throw a leg over him, sinking down onto his lap and feeling his bulge press into your clothed core. Firm and growing bigger by the second, the sensation it brought was a good feeling, but not nearly enough. You wanted more. 

“I’ve thought about this for too damn long, girl.” Joel sighs, gaze lowering to take in your beauty. Seeing and feeling you sitting on him like this is driving him up the wall. It gives him all but a taste of what you feel like in his proximity where your heat is directly over his crotch, however it isn’t enough for him either. “Take your pants off.” 

The order in his tone sends a shiver up your body, igniting a fire of lust to blaze across your skin. Popping the button on your jeans open, then pulling down the zip, you move back to stand between his legs and take your sweet time shimmying your pants off. A daring smile appears on your lips as you watch Joel adjust himself with each inch of skin you reveal. His eyes, still glowing red, expand with hunger at the sight of your panties. A simple figure hugging white high leg panties with a sizable damp spot at the crotch. 

“Hmm.” Joel closes his eyes with a deeply contented hum, inhaling your sweet aromas as if his nose was buried in your cunt. The sound of you stepping out of your pants and kicking them across the floor opens his eyes again, but when he sees you reaching for the waistband of your underwear, he shakes his head slowly. A silent demand for you to keep them on, however you smirk and hook your thumbs under the fabric, teasing him. 

Pulling it down enough to reveal your mound, you could visibly see how much he wants you as his jaw clenches and just as his mouth falls open with anticipation of what your pussy looks like, you quickly turn around and giggle. Your giggles were abruptly replaced with a gasp as two strong hands land on your hips, yanking you back into his lap. Joel now had you in his arms, his cheek pressed against yours as he looked down at your body, letting his fingers roam free and the first place he went for is the waistline of your panties. 

The man pulls them up with a finger, smiling at the sight of your cunt from this angle. Your desire glistens, leaving a beautiful mess everywhere. Letting go of underwear, they snap back against your skin, eliciting another gasp to spill from your lips and just as you tilt your face to protest, Joel places his lips on yours, replacing your complaints with a moan. He slips a tongue inside your mouth, swirling it around to provide distraction as he rests his palm on your lower stomach, fingers slipping under the fabric of your underwear.   

Your breathing becomes heavier with need, a need to feel his fingers where you most want them, but Joel had plans of his own to tease you. Payback for teasing him, you suppose. Grabbing your legs and lifting them over his, so that you were spread perfectly for him, he then brought your hand down to your underwear and broke off the kiss to deliver his next order. “Play with yourself, darlin’.” 

“Huh?” You act shy and oblivious, but Joel can see right through your performance and smacks your inner thigh before palming the sting. “You heard me.” He softly whispers against the shell of your ear, slipping fingers inside the crotch of your panties but making a clear point to avoid the area you really want him to touch. “Play with your pussy Y/N. I’ll give you what you want soon enough.” 

Clenching around nothing, you could feel your slick drooling out of your hole, desperate to feel his fingers or his cock stretching you open. You nod, closing your eyes with a sigh as he peppers kisses on your neck then you do as he commands by slipping your hand inside your underwear, fingers instantly landing on your little swollen nub. A surge ripples through your body with a heat blossoming in your chest from the contact. Tension begins to build in your abdomen as you rotate the pad of your finger around your clit, but you stop when Joel moves his position from beneath. 

“Keep going.” He grunts, hastily working his pants open to free himself. “I didn’t say stop darlin’. Keep going.” 

Moaning, you continue rubbing your clit and eagerly await as he pulls his pants and boxers past his ass. His cock springs free, slapping the hand inside your panties. “There, that’s better ain’t it.” Joel coos, smirking at your way your eyes are transfixed on his length. “Now you can see what I’m going to fuck you with.” 

Using your free hand, you reach down between your legs and Joel sighs against your neck, thinking you're going to take him in hand, but you don't. Instead, you pull your panties to the side and look at him with pleading eyes. “Please - I want you now baby, I can’t wait.” 

“Fuck.” He breathes, eyes returning to their normal colour as he nods. “Ok darlin’.” 

Your pleas broke Joel’s commanding façade, bringing out the human of him. Kissing you on the lips as he notches the head of his cock at your entrance, your face contorts from the breach then you both moan in unison as he pushes inside, burying himself to the hilt. “Goddamn! You’re fucking tight baby.” Joel groans, tossing his head back to relish in the feel of your velvety walls squeezing him. You were still flicking your fingers across your clit and your orgasm nears. 

“I’m c-close.” Whimpering, you continue to pulse around him, full to the brim with his cock. Joel is big. Girthy with an above average length, he was buried so deep you could feel his balls. “Please move.” You beg, breathing out a moan. “I’m gonna cum, Joel please move.”

Placing his hands under your legs for leverage, the man lifts you up off his cock, leaving the tip inside before sinking you back down again. You bend your knees with a mewl, holding onto the arm of the chair as Joel continues to lift you up and down like you weighed nothing to him. You do weigh nothing to him. He held onto the back of your thighs with a bruising grip, listening to your moans grow louder each time he sank you down onto his dick. 

“Fuck! F-fuuck! Joel, I’m comi-” You stutter, unable to spill the words from your mouth as the tension in your stomach breaks and your climax takes over. Casting a blanket of white static over your vision, your cunt squeezes around him with a vice-like grip, feeling every vein and ridge. Joel grinds into you carefully, easing you through your high. “That’s it, let it all out darlin’. I got you.” 

Lowering your legs and placing your feet to the floor between his legs, your breathing begins to even out as you tilt your face towards Joel and capture his lips in a kiss. A hunger for more quickly rises, a need to make him cum is what you’re craving. To hear him fall apart. Still kissing Joel, you hold onto the sofa and brace your feet on the floor before lifting your hips up then sit back down. “Nngh!” He grunts with a shuddering inhale as you repeat your actions, finding the right pace. 

“My pussy feels good, don’t it?” You whisper, smirking against his lips. “So warm and tight.” 

Slamming your hips down onto his lap, thrusting his cock in and out of your cunt, Joel could barely form a sentence to reply. His mouth falls open, hands grasping at your body to keep himself together as you continue to fuck him. A burn forms in your thighs accompanied with a cramp in your stomach, the position was giving you a workout and your skin stuck to his, yet you didn’t stop, not until he gave you what you wanted. 

“Cum for me, Joel.” You mewl what you want. Resting your head back to his shoulder, he brings a hand up to your throat and holds it there gently while kissing your neck. Body jerking with the pad of his finger landing on your clit, he rubs nameless shapes while grunting into your ear. “You first babydoll.” 

Your movements faltered from the pleasure he was inflicting. You’re still so sensitive from your last climax, it was painfully good, and you can feel yourself unravelling again. Sinking down and burying him deep inside of you, your walls pulse around him as you moan his name. Joel takes over for you, rocking your hips back and forth to grind himself through your high. You were squeezing him too hard, damn near pulling the orgasm out of him. 

“Shit! Baby, I’m coming.” Joel warns, lifting you off his cock a second before hot ropes of his cum shot out, coating your folds. Still coming, he glides the tip through your slit, painting a mess all over your pussy. His warmth felt amazing, only you wished you could feel it paint your insides. 

Savouring the post coital bliss for a few moments, reality begins to kick in and you voice your worries to Joel of being caught. “We need to move. Your brother might show up any moment now.” 

Joel wraps his arms around your stomach, chuckling into your neck as he shakes his head. “He ain’t coming back darlin’”

Before you could even ask, Joel stands with you, pulling your shirt and bra off along with his shirt, dropping all them to the floor. Placing his thumb and forefinger to your chin, he tilts your face to meet his lips in a kiss, walking you towards his bedroom. Once your legs meet the edge of the bed, he lowers a hand to line himself up at your entrance and thrusts inside, knocking the breath out of your lungs and stealing your ability to speak. It’s just me and you staying here. He says telepathically, lowering you to lay down on your stomach before pounding into you from behind. 

I have you all to myself for the night, darlin’. 

Two Days Later

Running through the forest with a beating heart ready to jump out of your chest, you run like your life depends on it. You should be in Jackson right now, should be far away from Joel Miller on the night of a full moon just like he warned you, but you couldn’t help your curiosity to know what he goes through. 

You only wanted to help, only help him through this night of pain and make it easier for him, but instead, you let the beast inside of him catch your scent and he broke free from the chains. The werewolf on a full moon isn’t the werewolf you’ve seen in Joel before. It’s different… he’s different. You should have stayed home and listened to Joel’s warnings because now, a monster hunts you with an insatiable hunger, impossible to be satisfied until it gets what it wants. 

You - the monster in Joel wants you. 

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Tagging

Werewolf Joel Miller: @kirsteng42 @marydjarin @extraneous-trip @dins-cyare @supernaturalgirl20 @supernaturalgirl @joelsflannel @luvmeijii @hb8301 @squidwell @hb8301 @superawesomegeek @trickstersp8 @scorpio-marionette @formulafun

[destielficarchive]

The Wayback Machine and the Quest for Deleted Fics

What is the Wayback Machine?

The Wayback Machine is the time machine used by Peabody and Sherman in "Rocky and Bullwinkle." It's also the nickname of The Internet Archive (https://web.archive.org/) which, since the late '90s, has crawled the internet and just. Archived everything it finds. (You can read their history here). People now can enter pages they want to save (I used it to preserve some censored Chinese gay books, for example, entering all the URLs myself to be sure that Wayback captured them), and I don't even know how else it finds stuff, but it's pretty amazing. How amazing?

This is their capture of my Tripod anime webpage from when I was in college. Some of the graphics are missing, yeah, but like. I made this website in fricken 1999, and stopped maintaining it in 2001 or 2002. Back then my e-mail address was still "unforth@penpen.com" and webrings were a thing and I was well known for creating Winamp skins in Jasc. That it's there at all is pretty fucking incredible.

Who cares about your old anime page?

Other than me? No one. BUT. Wayback's "catch all, save all, store all" approach to archiving means it's an invaluable tool for finding deleted fic. For example, here's their capture of "Rock Salt and Feathers," which was (as far as I know) the first Destiel-specific fic archive made on the internet, and many of the earliest Destiel fics were posted there or x-posted there from LJ.

The owner deleted it in 2010, taking all the fics with it, but many can still be accessed - and saved by my project, and read by anyone who wants to - because they're in Wayback.

Okay, that's way more interesting. How do I use Wayback to find stuff like that?

The key to using the Wayback Machine to find old and/or deleted fics is that you need the original url. Thus, teaching someone how to use Wayback to find deleted fics ends up mostly being about teaching someone tricks for finding ancient urls for fics that have been deleted (and occasionally when you find the url you actually discover the fic isn't deleted at all, which is always nice!). Once you have the URL, the "how to use" part is easy, you just go to web.archive.org and enter the url in the search box.

The bar graph of years shows every time Wayback Machine "captured" (archived) the specific page at that url. Often, each of these captures will be different, especially for websites that update regularly (like an archive or an author's works page). When you click on a year, you'll get a calendar, and then you just pick the date and time you want (I highlighted April 18th, 2009, as an example, and because it was my dad's 68th birthday so why not? It's also about a month before I personally started watching SPN, ah, memories...). Once you've picked the capture you want, it'll load the next page and show you a capture of it - so here's a (different than above) capture of Rock Salt and Feathers, dating to within a week of when the website was first founded! The same bar graph is now up top, and you can click on the bar you want to jump to that date and see how the website changed over time - so this capture on April 18th, 2009, is pretty bare bones; by the time of the May capture I screen capped above, things have moved along!

Further, once you're in an archive of a deleted webpage you can (or at least, you can try) to navigate it as normal, just...all within Wayback's interface. So like, on this page, I can access their list of new works (and find different ones by trying the different captures)...

...and I can even read them!

Uh oh, better watch out for those 4.20 spoilers. Anyway, the point is - if you've got the original URL, you can use it to load a deleted page into Wayback, and then navigate that website as normal...at least up until you try a link that Wayback didn't archive, and then you'll hit a "sorry, we don't have that one" page (I'm not gonna screen cap cause at this rate I'll hit Tumblr's image limit in about 2 more minutes). Not everything will be there, ever. Rock Salt and Feathers is unusually well-preserved; when I did a deep-dive and spent three days trying to find things there, I was able to preserve nearly 90% of all the fic I know of that was posted there, and some of the rest I was able to find by tracking down alts for the people who posted there - many (though not all!) had x-posted their works to LJ, and later some ALSO x-posted to AO3, once AO3 existed (Rock Salt and Feathers predates the existence of AO3 by about 6 months).

So, as you can see - using Wayback is the easy part (at least until it isn't - more on that later...it's easy on a simple page like Rock Salt and Feathers, hence my using it for examples, but it can get hella complicated for more modern, dynamic websites like AO3). The hard part?

(cutting to a read more...I hate using them cause then people don't read but this post is just. so long.)

Where am I supposed to get the original URL for a fic that's been deleted for 5 years or a decade or more?

Google search is your friend (or your preferred search engine I guess, but I always use Google). If you know the username and the exact title, it's easy - especially using quotes, which is also your friend. So, for example, I couldn't remember the URL for Rock Salt and Feathers and I didn't actually have it saved, so I just googled "rocksalt and feathers" (in quotes). It prompt got mad at me and told me rock salt should be two words, and so I changed it, and sure enough the first result was an ancient LJ post that included the links I needed. Which is to say, what you're really looking for isn't the "thing itself," but rather other websites that reference the thing in question. For works that were originally posted on LJ, FF.net, personal websites like Rock Salt and Feathers, or elsewhere, ancient rec lists tend to be winners for finding the links. Learning some search tricks can also help - like, if you don't know the exact title, try variations, or try just the part you're sure of. If you remember a quote, try searching for that. If the title is something super common, try adding the author name or, if you don't know it, search for it using "(name of fic)" destiel. Anything you can think of, remember, etc., will help. Sometimes, you just get as close as you can, and then look through the results, and often there'll be something close that even if it's not right, will lead you to a resource that'll help.

Alternatively, again for older works, searching for a different work that you know was released around the same time. So, like, looking for a fic by...idk...Fossarian? Or cautionzombies? Try search for aesc, or bauble, or obstinatrix, or annundriel - someone else who was active when Fossarian and cautionzombies were. (Obviously knowing some Destiel fandom history helps in this case, but there are enough fandom olds around that even if you don't know this info, learning it is an ask away). Especially, try searching for a contemporary whose works are still up, because you can get titles for those more easily (for example, in this case, aesc, annundriel and obstinatrix all have some works cross posted on AO3, so finding the titles is easier, and then you just...keep going til you find what you want). You can also try looking for works where they were betas or editors or gift-recipients, and/or you can kinda...map out...their old friends groups, by seeing who commented where. For example, looking for links to cautionzombies stuff? cautionzomes and annundriel were friends, which I learned by poking around a fuck-ton, and annundriel's accounts are still up, and some old cautionzombie links can be found in annundriel's journals. The links don't work but that's not the point, you just need something to plug into Wayback!

And, as a side note - just because an old LJ link is dead, don't assume that the work is lost! Many of those authors x-posted onto AO3 once they had AO3 accounts (heck, Gedry was continuing to back up works to AO3 as recently as last year), and even among those who didn't (such as annundriel or CloudyJenn, who each only backed up a few) they often simply ported their accounts to Dreamwidth, so you can find their works just by reformatting their LJ url (username.livejournal.com) to a dreamwidth url (username.dreamwidth.org - works for me too, if you want to see the awful shit I wrote in 2005). Also, sometimes you'll find they x-posted to FF.net but not AO3 (which, granted, presents FF.net own array of challenges for backing up, but that's for a different post - drop me an ask if you want me to write that up sooner rather than later, otherwise I'll just do it whenever I remember). All of which is to say - before you assume a dead link means a deleted work you can save yourself some trouble (and some heartbreak, Wayback isn't great for LJ in general because of how LJ posts and blogs were structured) it's worth your while to take a little extra time and check - okay, was it x-posted? Did the person have alternate usernames they used on different platforms? Did they have a writing community on LJ where they posted (for example, a lot of authors posted their works directly to deancasbigbang.livejournal.com or deancas-xmas.livejournal.com, and also a lot of authors made communities even just for themselves, and those communities remained even when they deleted their personal accounts). Even if you find they deleted across all platforms, it's easier to find full works from AO3 or FF.net on Wayback than it is to find works from LJ, so it's worth a try. And, honestly, with really old stuff? Finding the old work x-posted somewhere, or just asking someone like me, or the folks at @destielfanfic, is more likely to find it for you than putting an LJ url into Wayback, though in a pinch that of course is an option too.

Unforth, stop babbling about LJ, I care about deathbanjo, or apokteino, or TamrynEradni, or...

...or anyone who posted on AO3 exclusively, and deleted more recently, yeah, I get it. Of course, the tricks for finding the urls remain similar - rec lists are your friends! But, for AO3, there's another super handy trick. It doesn't always work, but it's by far the best place to start.

Go to @ao3feed-destiel.

Search for the author's name, and/or the fic title, and/or anything you can remember about the fic.

Since mid-2013, the Destiel AO3 feed Tumblr has logged probably around 75% of all the Destiel that's been posted. There ARE gaps - works that weren't initially tagged Destiel, or times when the feed was down and just caught nothing, or "oops the author changed their name four times and I don't know which one they were using when they posted That Fic," or "there are three people with very similar usernames" or "the fic is called 'carry on' and there are a bajillion fics with the same title." It's not perfect, but as a first step it's essential. Because, whatever you find, it'll have:

The link to the original AO3 post

The link to the author's name page at the time

The exact date and time it was originally posted

The original title, tags, etc.

If the work was in a series, the series link

And all of the links can be put into Wayback to help you find The Thing You Want. So, to use a recent example from someone I know doesn't mind having their stuff distributed (or, in this case, discovered on Wayback)...

When you click on the tinyurl, you get an AO3 error page, but, more importantly, in the enter-the-url bar, you get the original url for the fic! Which, in this case is:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/8447584

And then you can go over to Wayback, and...

Well, lookie there, it's the fic that HazelDomain locked! (Note that you'll get a "do you agree to the terms of use" and potentially other pop-ups. Just say yes and click through, there's no way to avoid them because there's no way to access these pages in Wayback as if you are "logged in as you," so the notifications and, in the case of Mature and Explicit works, the "you must be 18+ to proceed..." warnings will pop up every single time (and the 18+ one will cause you depressing issues, which in general just make Mature and Explicit deleted works MUCH harder to find, more on that later, yes this post is really gonna be that long, sorry...)

Now, suppose you weren't looking for this fic by HazelDomain, but instead were looking for one that ao3feed-Destiel didn't have on their list. Well, now is when that link to HazelDomain username comes in handy!

http://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelDomain/pseuds/HazelDomain

You can put this directly into Wayback, and it'll show HazelDomain's home page or, alternatively, if you loaded the fic above (for example) you can just click where it says HazelDomain below the title, and you'll get to go to their main page, which'll list their most recent works (on the date that the capture was taken) and some other links. Tada! You've found HazelDomain fics on Wayback.

(Side note on all of this: AO3 links are stable and permanent, which means that they do not change even if the nature of a fic changes. If the fic's posting date is edited? If the author changes their username? If the title changes? If it's added or removed from a series or a collection? If it's orphaned or added to an anonymous collection? The link will never change. That's how I know that the so-called "orphaned" version of With Understanding is actually a fake - it doesn't have the same URL as the actual version of With Understanding that apokteino posted. So, if you find a link to a work and it turns out that work has only been orphaned, not deleted, that link will still work! For example...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063581

One of sir_kingsley's link, with the exact same link it had before it was orphaned!)

Okay, but the one I want isn't on the author's page even after I checked!

As I mentioned, a basic old site like Rock Salt and Feathers? Very easy to use on Wayback. A complex website like AO3? Much more messy, which means there are a bunch of tricks you can use to try to "get at" the data. There's always the chance it's not there at all; a random ficlet by a little known author? Unlikely to have made it into Wayback, unfortunately, especially if the ficlet was Mature or Explicit rated. But, there are bunch of things you can try, and there's never any guessing which will work until you try. When I'm looking for something that's been deleted? I try them all.

Trick 1: The "/pseud" trick.

See how in HazelDomain's author link, it's listed as "users/HazelDomain/pseuds/HazelDomain"? There's a few tricks you can use related to this. First, on AO3, both "users/(username)" and "users/(username)/pseud/(username)" function as links (even if the second instance of username isn't actually a pseud and is just a repeat of the same username, as in the HazelDomain example). As such, they are different urls for Wayback machine searching purposes. Sometimes, when you search "user/(username)" you'll get results but get none when you search for "users/(username)/pseuds/(username), and vice verse. To Wayback, these are two completely different urls, so you have to check them individually - AO3 knows internally that these links route to the same place but Wayback is just basically taking screen caps (well, HTML text caps) so it doesn't know they're equal - so check both!

Trick 2: The "they changed usernames" trick.

If you know that an author changed usernames, try plugging every single one into those "user/(username)" and "user/(username)/pseud/(username)" links. Is it a lot of work? Yes. How bad did you want that fic, again?

(side note: having trouble figuring out if they had alternate usernames? Yeah, it's a nightmare. Checking old rec lists is one way to find out. If the work is in a series, there's also a trick - even if the person changes username, the "Series created by: (username)" thing at the top will still show the username they had when they created the series. Or, if they had a fic with a really unusual title, try doing a google search for that title specifically, even if it's not the one you're looking for, because the odds that two people used that crazy-specific title are low, and you'll be able to see results that might give the different name. Or-or, as yet another option...my master spreadsheet lists every alternate name for a given user that I know of...for example, deathbanjo has also been loneprairies, beenghosting, and tumbleweeds. Also note - unlike WORK links, which are stable even if the person changes their username, orphans, etc., "user/(username)" links are NOT stable. If you search for, idk, bellacatbee...

https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellacatbee

...you'll get an error, even though fairychangeling is bellacatbee and still active...

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairychangeling)

Trick 3: The "/works" trick.

Hope you're not done giving those "users/(username)" and "users/(username)/pseuds/(username)" links a work out, because you're not done yet! Those links will just give you their home page, which will only list their 6 (...I think it's 6???) most recent works. And then you click on "works" at the side and...oh no there's nothing there! Whelp, whichever link Wayback tried to use ("users/(username)/works" or "users/(username)/pseuds/(username)/works") ...try the other! And then try it for all their username changes, if they had any! Getting frustrated yet? If you're lucky you'll have Found The Thing and you can stop, but if you haven't, we're not done yet, cause yes, there's more...

Trick 4: The "?fandom_id=27" trick.

So, I'm writing this guide specifically for Destiel, so this trick is being shared in the SPN-specific format. Every single fandom on AO3 has a fandom ID number. Supernatural's is 27. If you're looking for a different fandom, you'll just have to find it's number - you can do this by going to any author you know wrote for that fandom, going to their home/main page (users/(username) or users/(username)/pseuds/(username)) and clicking on the fandom - the results will show the fandom_id in the link. So, like, I've still got fairychangeling's page open, Thor is fandom_id 245368, MCU is 414093, Good Omens is 114591, etc. Again, these IDs are stable - fandom_id=27 will ALWAYS be Supernatural, no matter who the writer is. AND, since Wayback treats every single one of these urls as unique, even if "users/(username)/works"/"users/(username)/pseuds/(username)/works" don't work, "users/(username)/works?fandom_id=27" or "users/(username)/pseuds/(username)/works?fandom_id=27" might. And you know what comes next - yes, it's try every variation again!

Trick 5: check every capture!

Captures on Wayback are a moment in time, which means there's always a chance that each one will be different. Trying to find a work that a user wrote in 2011, but Wayback /works is only showing works from 2021 on the first page, and going to page 2 produces a dead link? Try going to the oldest capture. Try going through every single capture, until you find the title you want, if you find the title you want. The /works page wasn't captured at all? Go through every old version of their main page, and see if there's any version of it where the story you want was in the 6 most recent works they posted. Etc. Try every capture on every variation of the /users/(username) links. Test and test and test until you either find it or you've exhausted your options.

Finding lost fics is about patience and about exhausting every option before you give up. All these small variations that look like nothing? Are another chance that Wayback may have captured the work. Skipping one isn't gonna do you any favors. There's never a guarantee. Lots is simply not there. But - more is there then you'll think if you just try one link then give up.

But I'm not looking for a list of their works, I'm looking for a specific work!

The above tricks are what I use when, for example, I've just heard a person deleted their account, and I'm trying to build as complete a list as possible of the works that have been deleted. Further, even if Wayback hasn't captured the actual work, the /(username) page and the /works page will have the links. Sometimes, those links will help you discover the work was orphaned or moved to anon instead of actually deleted. Other times, you'll click it, and bam, the fic will be right there in Wayback! Still other times, it won't be...or at least not apparently. But, sure enough, there are tricks around that too. Before you give up and assume a fic isn't in Wayback at all, you can try...

Trick 1: Remove the chapter part of the link

So, you've got the link to your fic - lets use, idk, "Carry On" by TamrynEradani (I haven't actually tested this as an example yet, hopefully it works lmao for everything I need to do here... lmao).

The original link to Carry On (found on ao3feed-destiel):

http://archiveofourown.org/works/775352/chapters/1458361

AO3 assigns every work a unique number AND every chapter a unique number. If you put in a work without the "/chapters/####" part in AO3, it auto-routes you to chapter 1 and fills in the chapter number. But, not to beat this dead horse again - Wayback doesn't know how to do that! It's entirely literally. It captures only the link, exactly as the link was fed to it. Thus, if you put that link into Wayback? It gets no results. BUT, if you remove the "/chapters/1458361" part (it actually DID loop me to the chapter ID, but when I put it in WITH the Chapter ID, it found nothing - welcome to the joys and vagaries of searching for deleted fics in Wayback...)?

There's Carry On...at least sort of! Because yes, there's still a problem - that pesky "Proceed" button. Because you can't log into Wayback as if it were AO3, and Wayback is (again) literal, you can often end up in annoying cycle where (with Mature and Explicit works) you just get looped back to the "Proceed" page over and over again. There are a couple ways you can try to bypass this.

Trick 2: Check past captures!

Are we learning yet? Yep, this is a repeat. Often, going through every capture will find one or more where, for whatever reason, the Proceed page just...isn't in the way. I have no idea why that's the case, but it works - it's how I opened that HazelDomain fic above, for example. And, it works for Carry On, too - when I tried a different capture of the exact same URL?

There it is!

However, even if that doesn't work, you still have recourse.

Trick 3: the "?view_adult_work=true" trick.

When you hit that "Proceed" button, AO3 auto-adds on "?view_adult_work=true" but (hits the horse with a stick again) Wayback doesn't know that necessarily, unless you tell it. So, you can sometimes bypass the endless-loop-of-proceed problem by giving it the direct link instead. In this case...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/775352?view_adult_work=true"

or

http://archiveofourown.org/works/775352/chapters/1458361?view_adult_work=true

(this trick actually DOESN'T work with Carry On, but it DOES work sometimes, especially with one shot mature/explicit works. That said, the "check every capture" trick works more often, so definitely try that first).

Okay, so...getting somewhere, but! Carry On is 34 chapters, and this one I've found in Wayback (it's here by the way - Wayback links? Also stable. https://web.archive.org/web/20131126180609/http://archiveofourown.org/works/775352/chapters/1458361) is showing just the first chapter. And when I try to go to Chapter 2? It gets caught up in that goddamn "Proceed for 18+" thing again, and there are only two captures now, and WHAT DO?"

Trick 4: The "?view_full_work=true" trick

There are two ways to implement this trick. One is easy - when you're on the page in Wayback, you see that "Entire Work" button over the tags box? YA JUST CLICK IT! It's like magic! At least, it's magic when it works. (It does, in this case - if you want to read all of Carry On and don't want to track it down? https://web.archive.org/web/20130911072416/http://archiveofourown.org/works/775352?view_full_work=true tada!)

And see the difference there? it's the same link, just with ?view_full_work=true added to the end! So, if you've found yourself in a position where you can't get by the "Proceed" loop, OR where you try to go to Chapter 1, try every link variation, and get nothing? You can always still try:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/######?view_full_work=true

Because there's always a chance that Wayback captured that even if it didn't capture the other variations.

Unforth...I've read all this...I've tried everything...I still couldn't find the thing! What can I dooooooo....

At this point? You've mostly exhausted what you can try in Wayback. But! Wayback actually isn't the only way to find a lost fic, it's just the most obvious and most easily used by the public. There are a few others!

1. I already tagged @/destielfanfic, so I won't again, but they're a great resource for finding deleted fics that authors have said "yes you may distribute," and they've also got a list of authors who've indicated "no." I used their lists as the base for mine (and their head mod and I trade notes, and fics, semi-regularly and have for years). So, I mentioned Fossarian above? Well, you can find Fossarian fics for download by going to destielfanfic, searching for author Fossarian, and going through the links - for example, "All the Hours Wound" is available in ePub format right here!

2. If you're willing to delve into Livejournal, spnstoryfinders (https://spnstoryfinders.livejournal.com/) is a still-active community that helps find all sorts of missing SPN stories (not just Destiel) and often posts will have links for x-posts, help with finding alts/different names people have used, or have people volunteering to distribute if contacted. Honestly, personally, I'm too shy to actually contact those people, and even if you're braver than I if they haven't posted since 2015 it's anyone's guess if you'll still be able to reach them, but it's always worth a try!

3. Me. Ask me. Even if it's not on my list. Drop me a note. I know tricks, as you can see, and I'm just really experienced at this point. I've been doing this for years. And, even if I did list most of the tricks I know above, I probably forgot something, and I also have the time (...well, sometimes I do, like when I'm not spending 2.5 hrs writing blog posts about how to use Wayback lmao), and I might know pseuds for a person you don't, and I have contacts who have collections, and, and, and...

4. Speaking of collections, the Profound Bond Discord mods graciously gave my archive a chat room (it's #fic-archive-project in the collections section of the server). AND, people who are on that server who have large private fic collections can opt to give themselves the @/archivist role, and when things get deleted or when we look for things, even if I can't find it, I can tag the other archivists and see if anyone else has it. When I exhaust MY options? That's where I go. So. You can too, you don't need me to mediate that, just join the Discord.

5. There's a smaller, Wayback-esque archive webpage called http://archive.is/. It has way less in it, but I've occasionally had luck on there finding LJ stuff that Wayback didn't have.

6. As a last ditch, you can always try Google. For example, if I google: tamryneradani "carry on" destiel download - the only damn result (I made this search up off the top of my head without testing it so I'm glad it worked lmao) is shiphitsthefans's master post of TamrynEradani fic which includes download links, because Tamryn made it clear from the moment they deleted that they didn't mind distribution (I was here then, which is how I know that...). So, like, literally, you want to read Carry On, yes I linked it above on Wayback but you can also just download the e-book from this post. There are all kinds of things in all kinds of pokey places on the internet. There's a small old archive that got permission from LJ authors to PDF their works and posted about it, with links, on Tumblr, and now a lot of those originals are deleted (I don't have the link sorry, I didn't bother to save it after I downloaded everything they had) but the Tumblr posts are still up and the DL links that still work. There's master posts for fics that have been deleted but the master post still has a functional link to a full PDF. Stuff is everywhere and you don't know unless you check.

There's so, so, so much Destiel, and so much as been deleted over the years. When you look, sometimes you'll strike gold right away by just plugging the link into Wayback and YAY THERE'S THE THING, and sometimes you'll spend an hour looking and think you finally finally have it and get so close and that last PDF link on the last place you had to check after everything else didn't pan out will be broken and you'll kind of want to burn down the internet, but...you'll know you tried.

This is how I built this archive - that, and downloading as much as possible before it was deleted, so that once it was gone, I didn't have to find it, cause I already had it. Basically every fic marked as "deleted and looking for copy" on my list? I tried all of this and still couldn't find it. Not always - sometimes I just don't have time - but. When I have the time, I check, and I even occasionally check again, just in case I missed something the first time. This is how it goes. You try, and you hope, and sometimes you'll succeed, and sometimes you won't. It's hard, but if you want the fic bad enough...you do the thing.

So. This is my general tutorial on how to use Wayback. What you do with that information is up to you. Don't ask me for help finding links for things I've said I won't distribute, but if you're willing to do the leg work and try the above strategies...well, authors can't do much about Wayback, they lost that level of control the instant they posted their works, and it's there to be accessed by anyone who knows how (if it's there at all, anyway, which, well, sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't).

Now you know.

Go forth and get the fic.

(And if you know of, or learn, some tricks I don't know? PLEASE DO TELL! I am always ready to learn more!)

[hyunjilicious]

a helping hand [henry cavill] - part 2

A/n: I’m sorry it took me so long. I don’t like how this part turned out, at all, but I rewrote it 3 times and I can’t even think about these scenes anymore without getting annoyed. I’m just happy it’s finished and that I can start working on part 3 (that is, if you like this one enough to want to keep reading lol)

Summary: After you post on onlyfans a video starring another man, Henry decides to take matters into his own hands. (cameo: Steve Rogers) KINKY 4k

Warnings: spanking, daddy kink, dirty talk, mentions of smut and masturbation (male), humiliation/degradation kink, groping, mentions of porn and filming pornographic material, stalker-ish/obsessed Henry. (also tumblr crashed when I first tried to upload this so maybe that a sign this sucks)

You can read part 1 here!

-

The sight brought down a storm upon Henry's mind. He stood there, mouth agape, watching the screen, unable to believe his eyes. It was one thing to post videos of yourself on the Internet, but to have someone else take part in them was too much. At least for Henry. Still smart and composed, he realised there wasn't anything he could do about it, but nevertheless, he was determined to not let this shit slide for much longer. 

As much as he wanted to hunt down that man who dared put his hands on you, Henry gathered himself, took a deep breath and closed the onlyfans page. He was perfectly aware that just the right amount of you could get him to lose his sense of control and do things he'd later regret. Still, in desperate need to see you, he grabbed his phone, eyes scheming over your socials, only to see that the last time you had been active was 7 minutes ago. So, without much consideration, he started typing.

"You up?"

"Yep. Finishing up an essay. Coffee in 30??"

Oh, and how deeply that hurt him. "Of course" he sent you, and then checked again the post you made at 3am. '...I'll go to sleep right now, edit it for you when I wake up...'

You were lying? Why were you lying to him? It drove him insane. Henry felt like he couldn't sit down anymore, like he had no chance to catch his breath. He couldn't think straight, so he wasn't really to blame for what he did next. 

Henry's fingers flew over the keyboard, accessing Facebook and logging into your account, desperate to see whether he could find out who the man in your video was. And it was as easy as it could've been, considering your last 5 conversations were with the girl friends he already knew about. But somewhere among them, he spotted an unfamiliar name - Steve R., and instantly clicked and opened the conversation. His blood started to boil when the multitude of emojis you sent reached his eyes, but he scrolled up, until he found the beginning of yesterday's conversation. 

It was started by you, and with a request. You were blunt and went straight for it, asking him with just one message to be in the video with you. There was no trace of your relationship with him on the Internet, so Henry had no idea regarding the nature of yours and Steve's connection. Judging by the way you addressed him, he could easily assume the man was nothing more than a fuck buddy. Even though it angered him, Henry kept his calm and decided to go about this with care. It would only be a matter of time until he removed Steve from your life. But for now, he just had to keep digging for information. 

Steve R.: "Exactly what do you need me to do, baby? Spank you? In front of the camera? Are you serious?" 

"Yes, Steve. Come on!! I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but still... 😇 when it comes to these things, you know me better than anyone"

Henry scoffed. Who the fuck was this guy?

Steve R.: "I know, baby"

Steve R.: "What's in it for me?"

Smoke came out of Henry's ears, and the fact that you acted so sweet and innocent made him want to smash his keyboard.

"Whatever you want! Just do this for me!!! Please!!!! 🥺😊😋"

Steve R.: "Ofc I'll do it, sweetheart. I got you"

"Thank you thank you thank you 😘"

Steve R.: "I should be the one to thank you"

Steve R.: "Send me the location and I'll be over there asap"

After that, your address followed and then that was it. Determined to dig deeper, Henry started to scroll up again, wanting to find out as much as he could about this mysterious man. He didn't get a chance to lurk too much before this computer alerted him of a notification, the onlyfans tab glowing orange. His attention was instantly won, smiling devilishly as he checked the content.

Posted 30 seconds ago, was the new video. Ready to kick back and enjoy, Henry pressed the play button, ready to go at it with an open mind. 

He reluctantly accepted the fact that there was another man in it with you, but he decided to enjoy it nevertheless. The video started, displaying Steve seated on the couch, thighs suggestively parted. He had a pair of black dress pants on, dangerously stretched over his massive thighs. A white, elegant shirt hugged his visibly sculpted torso, the top two buttons undone to show just a hint of chest hair. Quite a sight, but all Henry saw was trash. With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a silver watch on his wrist and a pinky ring on, Steve patted his thigh, cueing your entrance.

When Henry saw you, he felt his breath reach a new, sudden level of difficulty. With the shortest of skirts barely managing to cover your ass and a mostly see-through shirt on your top half, you made your way to him in such an angelic way that Henry couldn't believe his eyes. 

You looked like happiness personified, and it came in such a painful contraction to what you were about to do, that it twisted Henry's mind in such a perverse way, his cock nearly twitched just by seeing you. 

When you were about to bend over Steve's thigh, he grabbed your chin and stopped you mid action, his lips slamming against your as his free hand lewdly caressed your ass. He flung the skirt over your hips, your flimsy underwear on full display. 

Attentive to the events unfolding on the screen, Henry found his cock, teasingly rubbing it over the material of his pajama pants. His mouth watered when he felt the sensibility in his tip, actually believing this would be easier than he initially anticipated.

"Are you going to be Daddy's good little girl, or do I have to make this fucking hurt?" Steve asked and Henry almost threw up. 

"Yes, Daddy. I'll be good" you mewled, wiggling your feet. 

"Let's see" the man menacingly chuckled, releasing a sharp slap against your ass that made you yelp out in pain.

At this point, about 30 seconds in that was, Henry was already losing his mind. It was as if you took a trip inside his dreams and decided to play out his fantasies. The only problem was that you did it with another man. It was next to impossible for him to keep this going.

"Can you count?" Steve taunted, his hand traveling all over the back of your thighs, your exposed ass and between your legs. 

"Yes, Daddy" you eagerly nodded and Henry almost threw up.

"I wouldn't be surprised if a dumb slut like you didn't know how to" Steve chuckled, "But it's ok, that's how we like our girls. Dumb and pretty"

"Thank you, Daddy"

Henry couldn't believe his eyes. He refused to accept the fact that a random man got to play with your innocence like that. You were his sweet little girl. And if until now he pushed through heroically, when literal yelps of pain started erupting from your lips as the blonde man slapped your ass hard enough to rock your whole frame, Henry's blood ran cold.

But no matter how hard the jealousy had hit him, the video was still pushing his limits of self control. It was still what he always wanted to see. When he reached inside his pants and grabbed his cock, a low grunt of early satisfaction left his lips. He once again found himself picturing you, willing to please him, but this time, he didn't get to go too far. The buzzing sound of his doorbell rang through his apartment, and he never stood up faster.

Cock still hard and completely visible through his pants, Henry slapped the pause button and minimized the browser, before springing to his feet and rushing to the door.

"Henry!" you exclaimed as soon as he came into view. He looked somehow tired, but it was easy to tell there was something else bothering him. "You didn't answer your phone" you pouted.

"Yeah, sorry" he shook his head, a few sweaty curls falling against his forehead. "I was busy with something. What's up?"

You raised your eyebrows and pointed to the door of your apartment, "You said you'd come over? Coffee? Remember?"

"Oh, shit, yeah" Henry cringed, rubbing his forehead. "I'll be over in 10 minutes, that ok?"

"Sure" you beamed, completely oblivious to the way he just tried to get rid of you. With utter nonchalance, you pushed your way past him and strolled into the kitchen.

"You wanna wait here?" he muttered.

"Yeah... Is that a problem? I can leave..."

"No, no" Henry eventually sighed and rushed over to you. He cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead. "Wait here, I'll be right back"

And that was what you did. You silently sat down, grabbing a bag of chips you found laying around, and settled to wait. And maybe, a few seconds passed where nothing devious came to mind, but as time ticket itself away, boredom got to you. First you stood up, and padded to the hallway, looking around. There was almost nothing new over there, but it still felt so homey you absolutely loved to inspect every detail. The TV in the living room was turned off, a couple of pizza boxes on the floor and his DVD cases laying around - absolutely nothing interesting.

You sighed and plopped down on his couch, folding your legs under your body, ready to flip through the channels on TV until he'd decide to join you. Nothing seemed of interest, being bombarded with news and fishing programs. "Old man" you thought to yourself, before opening up the menu in search for something less depressing. A wave of nostalgia hit you when you came across a Spiderman marathon, and you were done for. Maybe one full episode passed until Henry walked out of the bathroom, but you were nowhere near ready to leave.

"Look what's playing!" you beamed, pointing to the screen. Henry raised his eyebrows in amusement, his shoulders shaking as he softly laughed at your unusual choice of entertainment. 

"Are you serious? Cartoons?"

"Yes!" you scoffed, extending your arms and gesturing for him to join you. Although reluctant at first, Henry agreed to sit and watch the show with you, but not before brewing some coffee first.

When he returned from the kitchen, two steaming mugs in tow, you shuffled to the side and welcomed him on the couch. He brought you close against him, draping his arm around your body. With your head resting on his shoulder, you sipped your coffee, eyes glued to the TV. "You seriously never watched these as teen? You were 11 when it came out."

"I did" Henry laughed, rubbing his hand up and down your side, "I was in love with Felicia Hardy"

"MJ was so much better!" you shook your head disappointed, "You have no taste"

"No need for that" Henry threatened, his fingers exploring their way down your body. The way he trailed his hand across your hips and thighs made you squirm, smiling to yourself as you shuffled closer to him.

Henry was more than happy to reciprocate, kissing your forehead and squeezing you tighter. 

And just like that, you didn't care about Spiderman anymore. You flung your leg over Henry's lap, all but crawling on top of him. The episode was still playing in the background, but none of you was paying attention anymore. Henry wrapped his muscular arms around your frame, eliciting a soft moan from your lips as you pushed your hips down against his thigh. His hands traveled lower, exploring your body with delicate but greedy strokes. 

As you let yourself get carried away with absolutely no worry in mind, Henry knew exactly what he was doing. And considering how easily you let your guard down, he had you right where he wanted. 

When you hid your face in the crook of his neck, your nose rubbing across the slope of his collarbone, Henry's right hand found your ass. You froze for a second, but his gentle caress helped you relax again in an instant. With his lips against the top of your head, he allowed his fingers to sink into your flesh. Your whole frame stiffened as you gathered a handful of his hoodie into your fist.

"What's wrong?" Henry cooed, grabbing your chin, "You ok?"

"Yep" you whimpered, and then winced again as he squeezed your ass once more. "I'm good-" you lied, cupping the side of his neck into your palm as you crawled higher up his body, your lips right against his ear. 

As weak as he was for you, Henry stood his ground. If you wanted to play this game, he'd do it, but he wouldn't let you win.

"Does this hurt?" he asked, roughly groping your ass.

Jumping slightly from the pain, you still managed to shake your head, blurting out another lie. "... no"

"What about this?" Henry teased, grinning widely as he shoved his hands inside your leggings, under your panties. 

The urgency of his touch made your eyes open wide, your back arching as you tried to push yourself off of him.

"Does it hurt, darling?" he continued, keeping you in place with ease. 

Defeated, you sighed and lowered your gaze, "A bit" you mumbled.

"Just a bit?" 

"Henry-"

"Did he fuck you good?" 

Your mouth fell open. "What- no, I didn't- we didn't do anything-"

"Didn’t do anything?" Henry grinned, his perfect teeth showing as he proudly pried information out of you.

"I just... fuck-" 

Seeing no way out of this one, and eager to stop hiding, you pushed yourself back. Henry's hands left your body as you sat beside him, and he watched you curiously, patiently waiting for you to word your thoughts. "I just filmed a video for my page, that's all" you bowed your head.

"What kind of video?" Henry questioned.

His demeanour was so relaxed, he was right in his element, unlike you, who were riled up to the extreme. "A spanking video-" you cleared, awkwardly fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. 

"Did he spank you good?" 

His hand found your hips again, and you leaned into his touch, nodding your head yes as you were too embarrassed to actually word your answer.

"Then show me" 

He was dominant and stern, and even if you wanted to, you felt like saying no wasn't an option. Henry didn't wait for your permission as he grabbed your waist and pulled you up to your knees, chuckling softly to himself when he saw you shyly smile down at him. 

His fingers curled around the waistband of your leggings, forcefully pulling them down your thighs. "Come on" he urged you, softly guiding you to lay down across his lap, your ass barely covered by the pinkish and slightly unflattering underwear you had chosen for the day.

Henry's breathing picked up at the sight, and so did yours. You watched him over your shoulder, his fingers tracing over the bruises Steve left on your bum the night before. 

"Henry-?" you whimpered, the anticipation building up in the pit of your stomach becoming too much to bear. 

"Yes, darling?" he cooed, leaning down to the side to kiss your cheek. His stumble tickled your skin and you whimpered when his hand made its way between your legs.

You felt his fingers against your opening and involuntarily clenched your thighs around him, hiding your face in the cushions of below your head.

"Tell me" Henry pushed, teasing your folds and clit over your underwear. 

"Nothing, I-" you cried, making him chuckle.

He loved giving you a taste of your own medicine. He straightened himself up and grabbed your ass into his hands, squeezing until you yelped out in pain. A soft laughter of approval escaped his throat as he bent down and pressed his lips to one of your cheeks, applying lingering kisses over each and every single bruise. 

The way he took control of the situation and handled your body, turned you on to no end. For whatever reason, being exposed like that for him, waiting for any kind of judgement to leave his lips, you were getting more and more riled up by the second. You were done for. You did your best not to moan with need, but little did you know that was exactly what kept you from being thrown onto the floor and fucked into oblivion. Just one single sign was all you needed in order to break his self control, but you didn’t have it in you to do it. 

But he didn’t say anything, instead just keeping you on your toes as he had his way. You were dripping through your underwear, and judging by the bulge in his pants that pushed up against your belly, you knew he was on the same page as you. But again, he didn’t allow things to go further. Everything about this moment pointed in the right direction - the teasing, the touching, you were all but whimpering in his lap, but he cut the moment short with a sharp slap against your ass before he helped you up. Henry acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened as he pulled your leggings back up, but this glare became colder when he found your eyes.

He bent down and spoke into your ear, "He could've done a better job"

Completely under his spell, you bit your lip and furrowed your eyebrows. "I don't think I would have been able to take any more"

"That's not what I said" Henry shook his head.

"Look at you being an expert" you teased, relishing in the fact that he seemed eager to keep things going. 

"All I'm saying is that if you had asked someone else-" Henry laughed, stroking your cheek, "Things would have turned out much more different"

"Oh" you pouted, ready to tease him further. "Who should I have asked-"

Just when you started getting comfortable and confident enough to push things further, Henry's phone rang. "I don't have to take that" he shook his head when he heard you stopped talking.

"Just see who it is" you giggled, slapping his shoulder.

Before doing so, Henry grabbed your chin and kissed your forehead, his touch drawing you in like a magnet as you leaned into him when he pulled away. With a sigh, you eventually crawled off his lap and then your face fell with disappointment when Henry showed you the screen of his phone. 

"Yeah?" he huffed after picking up, his boss being the last person he wished to talk to right now. 

You watched him closely as he listened to whatever the man was saying, and almost whined out loud when Henry frowned annoyed.

"I'll call you back in 5, ok?" he asked and after a couple of seconds hung up.

"I'm so sorry-" Henry sighed, turning to you, "I gotta go take this, there's a problem with one of the radars, I need to go see if I can fix it remotely"

"Sure thing" you shook your head. "But please tell me you don't have plans tonight"

"I don't" Henry leaned towards you and again, kissed your forehead. As much as you loved the sweet gesture, it was now more than ever that you craved something else entirely. 

"And please don't forget about me again" you giggled, grabbing his biceps and stopping him from leaving without a promise.

"I won't" he sighed, "I'm really sorry about that. I'll make it up to you"

"However I want?" you beamed and licked your lips.

"Absolutely" Henry smiled, sweetly embracing you before walking you to the door.

You had his word now, and you were planning on making it count. There was no way either you or Henry would act as if nothing had happened, and you couldn't wait.

Once alone and seated at his desk, Henry opened up the text editor associated with the code he wrote months ago. When his screen was flooded with errors and his chat popped up with three different messages asking for help from his colleagues, Henry all but yelled out loud in frustration. Not only did he wish to be with you, it was also Sunday, one of his days off. But he couldn't just text the pilot of the plane whose radar went berserk and tell him to wait. So he got to work, determined to get this done as soon as possible. 

But unfortunately, that 'as soon as possible' turned into 3 hours of continuous work. He didn't even stand up to go to the bathroom until he made sure everything was on point. It was about 4pm when the program started running smoothly again, and seeing how he had a few more hours to waste until he had to see you, Henry decided to make the best of them, by getting a head start on his tasks for the following day.

Productivity flowed through his fingertips as he solved the first issue he had been assigned for the day to come, getting ready to start working on the second one when a call caught his attention. He didn't recognize the ring tone, and it only dawned on him that he was still logged into your facebook account a couple of seconds after it stopped ringing. 

Still curious, Henry switched the tabs on his computer, noticing that the chat with Steve, which he left open hours ago, showed that there was an ongoing video call. His jaw fell. Henry tightened his hands into fists, fuming with anger. First as you for doing this, and then at himself for allowing you to believe this was an ok thing to do. He knew there was no way to eavesdrop on your conversation even if he had the password, but that didn't mean his curiosity died down. No, it only grew stronger.

He felt lost for a minute, but then he thought of something. On his dresser, right next to his winter gloves and under his favorite jogging hat, laid an extra set of keys. Henry remembered the day you gave them to him, saying something along the lines of 'I feel much safer knowing that if something were to happen, you could always get to me, Henry.' and then remembered how you stuffed them in his pocket, and kissed his chest before stepping back. Such different times. 

There was no trace of hesitation inside his mind as he grabbed the keys and made his way out of his home. He passed the hallway in less than a second and pressed his ear to the door. It was perfectly quiet, and through the peephole, he couldn't see any light. You weren't in the kitchen or living room, so he felt confident enough. After putting his phone on vibrate, Henry ever so gently pushed the key inside, turning it inside the lock with the most meticulous movement his wrist could muster. The sound of the door knob being turned was so faint he barely even heard it, but his pulse skyrocketed when he heard the click that signaled the door was finally open.

With small, careful steps, he made his way inside. The entire apartment was dark and quiet as he made his way in, stopping just outside your bedroom as the relaxed, deep voice of a stranger became audible through the wall. “Trust me, sweetheart. Just relax, I got you. You’re all tense, I can see it from here. You know I have more experience with this than you do, just do as I say”

With one hand on the doorknob of your bedroom, Henry was ready to put an end to this whole charade. He knew he might regret it later, but he didn't care. The image of a so called friend, pushing you to do anything that you seemed to have clearly stated your discomfort about, flipped a switch inside his brain. There was no stopping him because no one, no one got to push you around like that. Not while he could do anything about it.

[yeslieutenant]

WINTERFOLD PROLOGUE

Alright, guys. Here is the prologue to my new story! I am super nervous about this one, but here goes nothing!

A/N: I have two versions of this story. One is a reader insert, and the other is my original character. The x Reader version will be here on tumblr, and the OC version is on AO3. (This chapter is like the tutorial in the games, so none of the main characters will be in it, including the reader)

Series Warnings: Some serious violence, swearing, gore (not too horrible but it could get gross for some, so if that squicks you out, probably best to avoid), slow build-up to horror, maybe some smut (not til the Epilogue), character death, drinking, panic attacks, PTSD, if there is anything I miss, please let me know!

Chapter Warnings: Violence, GORE, swearing, character death

Word Count: 1,260

October 23rd, 2000

2:12PM

Winterfold Forest Research Facility

Dr. William Green

The halls were pristine, the memorandum clasped tightly between my fingers as I began my trek towards the makeshift post office. It’s a pity about Subject #12, but it’s clear she wasn’t the one. After Jax scans her DNA, I guarantee we won’t find the genome discovered in Subject #9.

“Will!” Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I gradually come to a stop, waiting for the eager geneticist to catch up. He’s out of breath, his loose blonde hair falling into his face as he bends to place his hands on his knees. His breaths come out in pants, evident that the geneticist may need to hit up the in-house gym more often.

“What do you need Dr. Brewer?” My voice comes out harsh and impatient, and the blonde immediately recoils, standing up to his full height.

“What’s up with the ‘Dr. Brewer’ stuff?” He asks, confused.

“What do you need Jax?” I repeat. I need to get this memo sent out, and all Dr. Brewer is doing is holding me up.

“We just received notice from Dr. Brenner that Subject #1 is to be terminated. I figured you’d want to be present.”

“Terminated? Already? They only just began showing signs of aggression two days ago.” I can’t contain the frustration in my voice. Subject #1 may be aggressive, but they also showed the most promising signs when passing on the genome. If they want Project Killzone to be successful, terminating Subject #1 is the worst course of action we could-

“Dr. Green?” He looks at me, cautious, watching my face for evidence of an oncoming emotional outburst. I take a steadying breath before speaking.

“Lead the way, Dr. Brewer.” He sighs in relief, turning on his heel and walking towards the containment area. I follow behind, the memo still clutched between my fingertips.

The containment room for Subject #1 is filthy. We haven’t been able to sedate them long enough to be able to clean the excrement off the floor, and it's starting to pile up. The room is dimmed, as all the chambers are, and Subject #1 is laying down, seemingly in defeat, next to a pool of some liquid that is most definitely not fecal matter.

“What is it laying in?” I ask, moving closer to the glass.

“We’re not sure, sir. Want us to run some tests once the subject is dead?” Jax turns to me, his green eyes searching as I begin to chuckle.

“You’ve clearly never seen a termination of one of the subjects have you, Dr. Brewer?” He shakes his head nervously. “There won’t be anything left to test.” I exchange a look with the tech on my right. He nods wordlessly, and I respond with a nod of my own. Then he presses the button.

The room in front of me lights up in an orange and yellow symphony as the subject is incinerated. Or starts to be. The creature curls in on itself as it lets out a high-pitched cry so loud, that we all cover our ears in response. That’s when all hell breaks loose. Glass shatters behind us, and we all turn to see Subject #19 racing towards us, teeth bared, eyes feral. This subject never displayed any aggression! How the hell did it break through 6 inches of solid glass?! Before any of us can react, the technician is screaming, his deathly cries echoing through the busy halls as Subject #19 tears into his abdomen, ripping innards out and beginning to feast. I feel a hand on my arm, quickly realizing Dr. Brewer is screaming at me.

“WE NEED TO GO WILL!” He tugs and I am set in motion. We bolt down the halls, away from the pained wails from the tech, onlookers showing confusion and concern at the outburst. Jax yells in response. “Containment Breach! Lock it down!” Some of them react, running towards their designated stations, others, most likely new hires, glance around, their eyes scanning, hoping someone will tell them where to go. As we run, we pass the make-shift post office, and I vaguely remember that I left my memorandum outside Subject #1’s containment chamber. It’s useless now, considering I’ve got bigger problems to report in the next memo. 

We all but fly into the surveillance room, the low-res cameras showing the chaos that has unfolded within the lab. Subject #19 is running down the hall, its speed faster than it takes for me to look to the next screen. It’s headed this way. The door pounds and Jax looks at me pleadingly.

“What do we do, Will?” I grab the machete off the wall and glance up at him. He’s so young. He’s got a wife at home. They’ve only been married 6 months, I think is what he told me, one late night after too many glasses of whiskey. Dr. Brenner said incineration would work just as well, and I suppose it did on Subject #1, but I suppose Dr. Brenner didn’t consider these hell-spawns to be strong enough to break through 6 inches of bullet-proof glass. The door begins to cave, the dents becoming more and more pronounced every second that passes.

“We’re gonna decapitate that sorry son of a bitch.”

“But Dr. Brenner said-”

“Dr. Brenner isn’t here, is he?” I cut him off, the door creaking on its fragile hinges. It’s holding on by a theoretical thread now. Jax looks terrified, tears pooling in those emerald eyes. Then the door bursts open. Subject #19 looks at me, its eyes matching the look of a feral animal.

It lunges, not at me, and before I can react, it has Jax on his back, his white button-down stained red as he begins to bleed. He lets out a cry, garbled and wet, his own blood bubbling up his throat to mute the sound. I lift the blade above my head and bring it down hard on the creature’s neck, severing its head from its body in one swift swing. It cries out, not nearly as loud as Subject #1, but it’s almost ear-splitting. I shove it off of Jax, his hand coming up to grasp mine as the blood stains his lips red. He chokes, a cough attempting to break out of his blood-filled throat.

“My wife.” He gargles out.

“I’ll tell her,” I assure him, and I watch tears stream out of his eyes, down over his temples into his blonde locks. He nods, no longer attempting to speak. He closes his eyes, squeezing them tightly, and when he opens them, the playful Dr. Brewer I knew is gone. He gives me one more barely noticeable nod before he goes limp, his hand slipping from mine as it drops noiselessly to the floor. His green eyes are lifeless as I stand. How many casualties are we going to see today? I ask myself before I hear a growl to my left. I spin on my heel, blade at the ready. The sight before me makes my blood run cold.

The creature. Its fur is matted and singed, blackened from the attempted incineration. Subject #1. Dr. Brenner was wrong. I raise my weapon, but it’s all in vain. Its teeth rip into my gut before I even have a chance to react. It’s over before we even sent in the memo about isolating the genome. I have but one thought before the pain stops and I feel myself slip into unconsciousness. Just another casualty, right?

Chapter 1

Tags: @kawaiiwitch224 @yellowroseskolchek @house-of-kolchek @lorebite @buttermykolchek @katsufairies @kassiekolchek22

[pillow-anime-talk]

wap challenge.

synopsis: ‘WAP challenge’ versus our lovely boys.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; aged up; romance; mild comedy and fluff; suggestive?

includes: female reader ft. hitoshi shinsou & you shindou {bnha} + eita semi & tobio kageyama {hq!!} + seijuurou mikoshiba & rin matsuoka {free!}

— HITOSHI

↘ It was absolutely NOT YOUR idea to do this challenge. Mina was the initiator of it all, because she’s addicted to the TikTok app, plus she knows every trend that is currently taking place. Plus, she’s your bestie, so it’s super obvious that you’ll do a lot of (stupid) things with her to keep an eye on her silly ass. 

↘ UMMM, anyway. Also not gonna lie, but you liked to dance, so it was much easier to induce you this time, hehe.

↘ Therefore, a few trainings later, you could easily record the ‘WAP challenge’ and put it on the pink-haired teenager’s popular account. 

↘ Meanwhile, your lovely boyfriend was in the coffee bar with Denki. Unexpectedly, the latter got a notification on his phone. 

↘ (Of course, we all know that Kaminari is the second TikTok biggest fan and his content is something like ‘Top10 things I don’t like about Bakugo’.)

↘ Coming back to the topic, the blonde’s eyes automatically widened when he saw the video inserted into Mina’s account; he wasn’t surprised by the young girl’s idea and its general performance, but you... He totally didn’t expect it! After all, you were the complete opposite of a crazy pinky one and you were literally the voice of reason in your friendship.

↘ “Oh, God... Wow. You have to see this, Shinsou.” He laughed under his breath, then restarted the short video and turned the black phone to the boy who currently drinking colored bubble tea.

↘ Well. Needless to say, some cold tea flew out of his mouth and his both cheeks turned redder than Kirishima’s hair.

↘ Aaaand he got an boner.

— YOU

↘ That mf... Okay. 

↘ Listen to me.

↘ Honestly, you were never interested in having an account on this whole TikTok app, but you saw a tons YouTube videos of people dancing to an English-speaking female rapper’s song and you just found it as a fun and interesting activity (+ you really liked this lit song, so...).

↘That’s why, you pushed back the furniture in your own room, which was in the Ketsubutsu Academy dorm, and put on a music. The first three attempts were just learning the steps, but by the fourth time you were ready for the real dance, so you tied your hair in a high ponytail to make it more comfortable and corrected the top of your clothes.

↘ Absorbed in setting up the camera and playing the song at the right moment, you didn’t even notice when your boyfriend entered your room. Of course he wanted to say hi or just kiss your pretty face, but at the same moment you jumped up and lifted your leg, quickly dropping to your knees.

↘ Shindou’s eyes widened while he resting his arm against your bedroom white wall. He even bit his lip, feeling a pleasant tingling in the stomach and throat.

↘ To say that he was delighted is definitely not enough.

↘ And when you finished the dance with the split, your boyfriend was still silent... However there was a sound of clapping and mouth pecking throughout the room. Slightly frightened, you turned towards him, and your cheeks flushed deeply.

↘ “Well, well, well. I didn’t expect that, but... I’d love to see it again, babe.” He winked at you, and you quickly covered your red face with your hands, still sitting on the floor.

— EITA

↘ All of us know perfectly that Semi is... a very serious man. I mean, have you seen how much he gives while he playing volleyball and helping his lovely teammates? Eita takes many things seriously (both at school and in private life) hence his strong character and his frequent lack of playfulness when you both have a small talk.

↘ However, you still love him very much and you would do anything for this big baby boy to make him happy and make him feel loved and appreciated as your boyfriend, friend and also volleyball player.

↘ Anyway, you didn’t expect that one day he would come over to your house and your mother would let him in, saying that ‘as always, you are at your own bedroom, listening to music’.

↘ Eita also didn’t expect anything special that day; he just came to you to spend Saturday watching interesting anime, some movies, talking and possibly ordering a pizza at his treat, but then he opened the door to your room and literally at the same moment he saw that you swing your leg up, and after a while you get down on your both knees.

↘ Of course he was so shocked because, firstly, he didn’t expect you to dance, and secondly, he didn’t expect you to dance this kind of moves...

↘ The poor boy who always took everything around him seriously couldn’t absorb for the next few seconds the fact that some people do a lot of things for fun... not for awards and medals like him and his beloved team.

↘ Fortunately, he quickly shook his head and laughed a bit under his breath when you barely managed to do a splits.

— TOBIO

↘ HAHAHGAHHAHDDAHAHAADDXXHJXJXDD. SORRY. I MEAN...

↘ The poor baby boy has his head high in the clouds and is only interested in the volleyball or matches, the milk in the carton from the school vending machine and you.

↘ Therefore, he’s not into the social media like Twitter, TikTok, Tumblr or YouTube. Sometimes he just steals your Spotify or Netflix account, but that’s all.

↘ Therefore, when one random day Hinata and Yamaguchi ran up to him with orange-head’s phone in his hand and a few seconds later asked if he had already seen the video with you in the lead role, the black-haired young man raised an eyebrow up, not understanding about what his two teammates talked at that moment.

↘ However, when after a short while he saw a dance video with loud music on the app on Shouyou’s phone, a small wrinkle appeared on his forehead and his mouth tightened into a narrow line.

↘ When the video was over, he thanked his besties, then took his own smartphone out of his pants pocket to search for your name in contacts. He quickly wrote you a short message, and as you read it, a huge blush appeared on your both cheeks.

↘ Tobi! | 14:23 ; Why didn’t you tell me that you dance? You’re pretty good at it. I’d like to see it privately. See you after classes :).

— SEIJUUROU

↘ :D

↘ Let’s start with the fact that Seijuurou is definitely a social animal and knows a lot of phone apps (unlike Haikyuu boys, lmao).

↘ I mean, he knows perfectly well all Twitter or Tumblr jokes and general slang, his favorite app is probably Instagram, and the Urban Dictionary is his second home, his bestie. Not need to mention that you share Netflix together, you two also are on the same Discord channel, and on top of that, he makes a shitpost on his own Facebook profile.

↘ No wonder that one day when he caught you dancing to the Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion song, he immediately joined to you. As if dancing had been in his veins from the day he was born, almost like swimming.

↘ The young man literally took all your viewers off the account and all the beauty of the fame you worked hard while you putting your own content on the channel.

↘ ‘Well... I expected that.’

↘ After a few days, of course, you changed the main theme of your account and instead of creating it by yourself, you shared it with your beloved boyfriend (after all, you couldn’t refuse the fans and the red-head...).

↘ Now you put all kinds of videos and posts together, and the people on TikTok like both of you very much and consider you two to be the sweetest couple in the whole world.

↘ Camila and Shawn are nothing compared to you!

— RIN

↘ I think Rin would know what TikTok is, and also know that you have an account there, but he has never been more interested in it than necessary. 

↘ I mean, it might have existed, but he wouldn’t be interested in getting into the ‘world’ of any influencers and celebrities.

↘ Well. 

↘ The big boy was very busy with swimming and with planning your dates...

↘ So when he listened to music on YouTube one randomly evening and totally accidentally click a complication video with ‘WAP Challenge’ tiktoks, he was surprised that you showed up as one of the dancers.

↘ Your all movements were polished and super strong. You danced really great, better than Rin could ever have imagined. Dressed in black shorts and a gray top, you fit well with the sounds and voice of a female rapper, and as the cherry head knew English, his tongue automatically lick his lower lip.

↘ Hmm, I don’t think I need to add to this headcanon the fact that shortly after watching the short video with you about another 20 times, Rin put on his feet shoes and decided to go to your house.

[sukiglycerin]

13 minutes || katsuki bakugou.

* pairing: pro-hero (therefore aged up)!katsuki bakugou x fem manager!reader

* genre: pro-hero!au, smut, this is the longest warning section i’ve ever written, mainly pwp, fluff at the end :>

* words: 2,266 of all this fiLTH

* warnings: AGED UP KATSUKI, ugh tumblr deleted my super long tags so now i must redo them, this is very long & filthy, whew let's go, dom!katsuki, sub!reader, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, slight voyeurism, office sex, reader is bent over the desk ofc, master/sir kink, a little pet play (he calls reader pet/kitten), dirty talk, degradation, fingering, breast/nipple play, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, orgasm denial (how contradicting), cunnilingus (f receiving), cum eating (both ends), talks of safeword/colour system but no actual usage, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (pls use protection irl!!), creampie, reader is kinda masochistic, pussy slapping, crying sex (no angst here tho), hair-pulling (m receiving if it matters), implied subspace, aftercare !! the best part !!

* a/n: so tumblr messed up sO much while i tried to post this, so i hope you like this! ty @toishi for sticking with me and all of my ramblings while writing this! (and ofc @dylanxmin for her lovely support!!) this is a VERY spicy thing, and almost had actual plot before i cut it out. if you like this, i may do a fluffier pt 2!! enjoy!

being a pro-hero's manager has its perks. the pay's good, the coworkers are pleasant, and travelling is pretty fun. to you, the best part is that you get to see your boyfriend of three years every day.

you've been dating pro-hero ground zero secretly, and you happen to be his manager. honestly, the latter came first in chronological order, but that doesn't matter anyway.

you first encountered ground zero (or as he was called back then, katsuki bakugou) during your time in the business course at ua. he bumped into you quite ungracefully, cursed at you, pushed past you, then let a startled but apologetic kirishima to apologize. it was fate, in kirishima's words. 

such fate led you to manage ground zero five years ago, after slowly climbing your way up from managing smaller heroes to finally reaching the popular ones. bakugou had been the only popular hero with a manager opening; you learned why soon after being hired.

the spiky haired hero had a short fuse and a tendency to cuss. he was picky, indecent, and often reckless with his public image; the calmest you'd ever seen him was when he blew up villains and screaming "die."

however, things change - things change a lot. five years later, you're here: katsuki mumbling sweet things into the crook of your neck as his hands tease the waistband of your pencil skirt.

"katsuki, we can't- you have a meeting in fift- hng-!"

his lips find yours quickly, effectively quieting you down. you're sitting on katsuki's desk - a polished cherry wood thing that took too many weeks to find - as he towers above you, pinning you to your spot.

katsuki pauses, and pulls back, licking his lips. "sounds like a you problem."

"we really can't, this meeting is really important-" bakugou's fingers nimbly find their way under your skirt, deadly close to your panties. he really isn’t paying attention to you.

"and i'm the star of the show, the number one pro-hero-" if he hears you mutter 'that's midoriya,' he ignores you and continues, "-aren't i the most important one here?" his fingers rub your clothed clit, smirking at your audible gasp.

"k-katsuki, no-" you know he can feel the wet patch growing on your panties; from the way his determined eyes lock on yours, you know he won't be finished until you are too.

"how long do we have now, love?”

"thirteen minutes, but-"

"you're going to cum for me three times in the thirteen minutes we have."

it's not a question; it's a fact. you are going to cum three times in the next fifteen minutes.

“once on my fingers,” he puts a finger up, “once on my tongue,” another finger, “and once on my cock. the only thing you have to worry your pretty head about-“ he leans in close to your ear, voice dropping a couple octaves, “-is keeping quiet enough.”

his fingers push your panties to the side with ease and play teasingly with your wet folds. he circles your clit with his middle finger slowly, dragging out each languid movement with a smirk on his face. you flush at the lewd, wet noises he elicits from your pussy. you know that his fingers are coated in your arousal.

you look down in embarrassment, gripping the edge of the desk, and stare at the cotton material of your pencil skirt.

"slut." the word is spat from katsuki's mouth. his hand holds your chin; his touch barely ghosts your skin, but the command still exudes dominance. he tips his hand up, so you're looking into his intense eyes.

"look at me, slut." the word is emphasized by the plunging of three fingers in your wet core. you whine, unprepared by the sudden intrusion. your legs move uncomfortably against the fabric of your skirt, which restricts you from spreading open your legs wider. you want to clamp down on katsuki's hand, but you know that that won't end well.

"patience, kitten." either by intuition or his own frustration, he speaks up gruffly. "all in due time." his thumb starts to knead your aching bud as he thrusts in and out, knuckle deep in your pussy. glancing at the clock, he grows impatient, quickly attempting to unbutton your blouse before ripping off the rest entirely. you'd normally protest - you liked that blouse - but you find yourself falling short of words at the pressure on your pussy. katsuki goes at a more rigorous pace, thrusting fast and deep while his free hand snakes itself under your bra to play with your nipple. the added stimulation has you keening to his touch, suddenly aware of his every touch. he pulls your bra cup down, freeing your breast and bending down to to encapsulate the hardened bud in his mouth. his tongue circles your areola and flicks your nipple; meanwhile, his pace on your pussy hasn't relented. 

soon, you feel the telltale feelings of pleasure bubbling through your body.  you tense against him, gasping out his name and clawing at his back. your knees buckle as your climax washes over you, making your body go limp in his hand. bakugou lets go of your nipple with a popping noise, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. his other hand pulls out, and he outstretches three cum-soaked fingers to you, an unspoken code for "suck." you open your mouth obediently, sucking your salty juices off his slim digits. 

"fuck," he cusses, eyes blown out wide in lust. "so fuckin' obedient for me, hm? such a fuckin' whore for your master."

you let go of the fingers in your mouth and nod. 

his non-wet fingers grip the bottom of your skirt. "off. now." 

"yes, master." you feel his eyes pierce you, watching you unzip your skirt and panties and let them pool around your legs. he holds you steady as you step out of the garments and toss them to the side. 

"sit up." he taps the desk lightly.

"it'll get w-w-" 

"did i stutter?"

"n-no, master."

he hums while you acquaint your bottom with the cold, hard wood of his desk.

"colour system, love?" his voice gets soft and he breaks the hard persona. his eyes are gentle, searching yours for any speck nervousness or hesitancy.

"green for 'i'm good, keep going,' yellow for 'slow down,' and red for 'stop.'"

"and if you can't speak?"

"three taps for red, two for yellow."

"what's your colour right now?"

"green, master."

his face hardens at the title. "always a good pet for me, aren't you?"

you nod. "yessir."

he spares another glance at the clock on the wall. "you're going to be a fucking good slut for master in the next 7 minutes, understand?"

"y-yessir."

"what was that, pet?"

"yessir."

"better be. spread." his fingers gesture to your legs.

he kneels before you, your drenched core spread out and on display for him at eye-level.

"so wet," he marvels, making your face heat up. like this, you're completely exposed to him; your breasts free from your bra, nipples hard against the cool air, and your pussy glistening under the light of his office.

he licks a long stripe up your folds, testing the waters. by now, the original intensity of your previous orgasm had worn off; despite this, when his tongue met your clit, you found yourself reaching for his hair, gripping it tightly. he groans into your pussy, poking his appendage through your folds and administrating kitten licks up and down your inner lips to slurp up whatever juices were left. the teasing doesn't last for long, however. he starts to suck harshly on your clit, making you buck into his face in overstimulation and surprise. you cry out at his unceasing ministrations, tugging on his hair and your toes curling. the overstimulation is too much; pain mixed with white hot pleasure blinds you. the lips closed against your clit go hard; you're not even sure how katsuki can breathe going at such a pace. the pain starts to blend into pure pleasure. you throw your arm over your mouth in attempt to stifle your noises, eyes shut tight. you feel tears line your eyes as you cum again, katsuki's tongue pressed flat against your pussy. the pleasure is five times more intense now; you cry out, sure anyone standing outside heard, and clutch katsuki's hair as you recover from your orgasm. your pussy convulses violently, and you pant in a similar manner.

"k-katsuki- master- i-" you breathe hard.

"one more for me, okay?" he rasps into your ear. "i know you can take it, kitten. so good for me..." his chin and lips shine with your essence.

you nod, spreading your sore legs further apart.

"colour?" he checks, hands starting to reach for his belt.

"green."

he nods and unbuckles, pulling his pants and boxers down to reveal his cock. katsuki leans in, hot breath fanning against you as he peppers kisses on your clavicle.

"you're gonna be a good cocksleeve for master, yeah? gonna be all fuckin' tight and wet for me?"

you whimper a shaky "yes," the head of his cock nudging your folds.

he eases his full length into you, the stretch always being something you always need to get used to. katsuki's not particularly girthy, but for what he lacks in girth he makes up in sheer length. he pushes in gently; it's clear on his face he wants nothing more than to ravage you, but he understands your needs.

"f-fuck," you gasps as he bottoms out. 

"ring ring ring," the tone of katsuki's phone rings through the room.

you lean over the desk, reading the caller id.

"it's horikoshi corp?" you say to katsuki.

"pick it up." there's a mischievous gleam in his eyes, but there's no time to dwell on it before you pick up the call.

"is this the office of ground zero?" a male voice asks through the line.

"yessir-" katsuki starts moving inside you, to which you bite your lip. "h-how can i help you?"

"this is regarding the meeting scheduled for today?"

"y-yes?" you gasp, flinging a hand over your mouth as bakugou starts thrusting into your core roughly.

"i'm terribly sorry to say this, but it appears that our boss has come down with food poisoning from lunch."

"don't- don't worry about it-" your knuckles are white gripping the edge of the desk, and you're slightly bent over it.

katsuki continues to hammer into you, speed increasing quickly.

"could we reschedule to friday, at 1:30pm?"

your mind skims through katsuki's friday schedule. "u-um... y-yes-! that can be arranged..." you're not sure if he can hear the wet slapping noises coming from your end of the line - but the thought of him knowing your dirty deeds with katsuki made you even wetter.

"alright, thank you!" the man sounds relieved. "goodbye."

"bye!" you half slam the phone down on the receiver, chest heaving.

"it's your lucky day, huh, kitten?" katsuki purrs smoothly. 

you nod, pressing yourself onto his desk so you're bent over it for him.

"such a fucking slut," you can hear the pride in his voice. "you like that, yeah? i can feel you clenching all around me. you're my fuckin' cockslut, right?"

your head bobs rapidly up and down. "yes, master- i'm-" you feel the familiar heat start to bubble in the pit of your stomach.

"don't you dare fucking cum yet," he growls in your ear, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust.

he presses you even harder into the desk, your breasts pushed up against the cold wood. 

"k-katsuki...!”

"my little pain slut, isn't that right?" 

"y-yes-! f-fuck, master-" 

he slaps your clit, making a loud, wet sound resound through the room.

it almost sends you over the edge. almost.

"don't- cum-" katsuki grunts in between thrusts.

you're so close it almost hurts. the pleasure overwhelms you; you shut your eyes tight to distract yourself, but you can only hear the sound of katsuki's heavy breaths and his cock slamming into you.

"katsuki- master- please, i can't-" tears start to form in the corners of your eyes. the pleasure is just too much, beating into you incessantly.

"you can, and you will," he orders, voice firm.

"k-ka- ka-" you blubber, tears dropping from your cheeks. you know you won't be able to hold it much longer; your pussy aches in need of release. "pl- pl, ka-"

"cum." it was the only word you needed to find yourself toppling off the edge, euphoria rippling over you violently.  tears stream down your cheeks, cum gushing from your heat. you're as limp as a doll in katsuki's arms, slumped against his desk. your pussy throbs, contracting violently - somewhere amidst your orgasm, katsuki had finished as well. your cheeks are wet, blouse thrown somewhere on the ground. your breathing is shaky as katsuki picks you up, stroking your hair delicately.

"hey, honey," he kisses your forehead softly.

you mumble incoherently, eyes drooping shut.

"you did so well for me... i didn't hurt you, did i?"

"no, 'suki.... 's good.... i liked it a lot..." you nuzzle into him, his body warmth comforting. katsuki smells of vanilla and caramel, a sweet combination that feels undeniably like home. 

you don't remember many of the next events well; everything blurs into a haze. you feel him gently thumbing your tears away, slipping your skirt and panties on and buttoning up one of his extra dress shirts on you.

the last thing you hear is a gentle "i love you," and before you know it, you're drifting asleep.