#that’s some 2015 ao3 Tony/Steve shit right there and it’s funny

[curlykytta]

.

[ceealaina]

Title: It Almost Seems Like Yesterday Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: S2 - Happily Ever After Ship: IronHusbands Rating: T Major Tags: Canon Divergence, Memory Loss, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort Summary: When Tony gets hit with an amnesia spell that leaves him unable to remember anything past 1990, Rhodey's right there to help him through it. (Now if only Rhodey could remember how the hell he's managed to hide his feelings for Tony all these years.) Word Count: 11,698

Rhodey walked into the room, already feeling tired. He knew he should have stayed home. He’d had a bad feeling before he’d left on vacation, had almost cancelled the trip, but Tony had insisted. He’d gone on and on about how he’d been an Avenger longer than Rhodey (by a whole three years, and look how well that had gone for him) and how if Rhodey missed this trip, it would be Tony’s ass that his mother would be coming after. Then he’d demanded that he bring back some of her chocolate chip cookies and practically pushed him out the door, promising everything would be fine. 

What a fucking liar.

“Okay. What do we know?” Rhodey asked, rubbing at his temples in a futile attempt to ward off the headache he could already feel starting. 

Rogers had the grace to look guilty, which he fucking should; Captain America or not, Rhodey was going to kill him if he had let something bad happen to Tony on his watch. 

“Okay. Rhodey, first off all we’ve been assured repeatedly that this isn’t permanent.”

Rhodey managed to contain his groan. If that’s what they were starting out with, there was no way that any of this was good news. 

“What’s not permanent?” he asked, not even caring that his voice slid into a tone that would have had him being written up for insubordination if he was still serving in the Air Force. He didn’t miss the way Steve swallowed at the sound, felt the vaguest hint of happiness at the sight, although it was quickly overshadowed by his concern for Tony. Beside Steve, Natasha looked like she was going to speak up, but he settled a hand against her arm, apparently willing to take on this particular burden alone. Rhodey resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Whatever weird spell Tony’s been hit with, it’s given him some… Memory loss.” 

Rhodey felt his heart stop. “What kind of memory loss? How bad are we talking here?” 

Steve winced, and Rhodey felt his heart sink further. “We don’t know yet, but uh. In the brief moment I saw him, he didn’t recognize me at all, called me a ‘bad Captain America porno rip off,’ and then he tried to hit on me, so…” 

Despite the shitty situation, Rhodey smiled; that sounded like Tony, alright. At least there was something of him still in there.

Natasha rolled his eyes. “The doctors said he didn’t make any mention of the Iron Man suit, or seem bothered that he doesn’t have the arc reactor, so I’m guessing his memories predate 2012.” 

Rhodey nodded. Clearly these two were absolutely useless to him, and it was time to take things into his own hands. “Right, I’m going to go see him. What did they tell him?” 

“Just that he’d been in an accident, and that he may have suffered some side effects.” 

Rhodey managed to keep his eye roll to himself. “Well, if you’ll excuse me…” He pushed past them, taking half a beat to steel himself before letting himself into Tony’s room. Tony was frowning at the medical equipment beside him, none of it actually attached to him, but his head popped up at the sound of the door opening and Rhodey held his breath, abruptly terrified that Tony wouldn’t know him either. 

He needn’t have worried. A split second later, Tony’s face was breaking into a wide grin. “Rhodey!” he crowed. “Fucking finally! Did you come to spring me free?” Then he tilted his head slightly, eyebrows furrowing. “Did you dye your hair? It’s kind of… grey.” 

“Um…” Rhodey hedged a minute, trying to think how best to handle this, but he knew Tony, knew he’d always dealt best with hard facts. Moving closer, he took a seat on the side of Tony’s bed. “Okay. They told you you’d had an accident, right?” 

Tony nodded, wincing a little. “Was it in the lab? I know you threatened to kill me after the last one, but you also know how I get, so… Really this is on you, leaving me unsupervised like that.”

Rhodey huffed out a soft laugh. “No, Tones, not a lab accident. The thing is, you’re apparently suffering from some memory loss.” 

Tony’s smile faded, eyes going wide. His eyes tracked over Rhodey’s body again, taking in the little differences, the grey hair, the extra few wrinkles around his eyes. He swallowed hard, and Rhodey could already see his brain working overtime, putting it together. He swallowed hard, breathing picking up, and Rhodey closed a hand over his. 

“Hey, easy,” he told him, feeling his own flare of panic when Tony frowned down at his hand in confusion, like he wasn’t used to Rhodey touching him like this. “Everything’s going to be okay, Tones. It’s not permanent, and I’m gonna help you get your memories back. I just need you to tell me the last thing you remember, and we can start from there.”

“Um.” Tony scratched the back of his head. “There was that party we went to. When the drunk guy knocked me into the pool, and you punched him?” 

For a moment, Rhodey couldn’t even place what he was talking about, racking his brain for anything even remotely like that. And then it clicked. 

“At MIT?” he yelped, cursing internally when Tony jumped a little at his voice. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “Sorry, I just. That’s fine. We can work with that.” 

“Rhodey?” Tony reached out, tentatively touching his upper arm. “I really need you to tell me what year it is.” 

Rhodey took a moment. He really didn’t want to say it, but Tony was a genius, he was already putting it together, and Rhodey really didn’t want him coming to the conclusion that there was something he was hiding. He swallowed. 

“Tony, it’s 2015.”

***

Once Tony had gotten over the shock of missing nearly thirty years of his life, and Rhodey had finished convincing Pepper that for now, at least, she and Happy were better staying in California and not overwhelming Tony with people that he only knew he was supposed to know, Rhodey had given him a rundown of what he was missing. He knew he was supposed to get his memories back eventually, but he couldn’t think how they would even begin that process without Tony at least knowing about Iron Man and the Avengers. 

Telling him had been well worth it. In Tony’s mind, DUM-E was still a work in progress. So finding out that he’d succeeded -- and that DUM-E was still kicking around thirty years later -- Tony’s entire face had lit up. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed, shifting closer to Rhodey on the bed. “You’re telling the truth? DUM-E works? You’re not just fucking with me?” 

Rhodey hadn’t been able to help laughing. “Tones, that’s not even half of it. After you cracked the AI code, you built JARVIS.” 

Tony frowned. “Jarvis?” he repeated, a flicker of sadness crossing his features, and Rhodey winced as he remembered that, for Tony, Edwin Jarvis had died only the year before. Still, Tony managed a smile, though it was fainter than before. “Tell me you didn’t let me Frankenstein my butler back to life.” 

Rhodey snorted, but he laid a hand over his arm anyway, stroking a thumb over his skin. He, more than anyone, knew how much more than a butler Jarvis had been to him. “Not Jarvis,” he told him softly. “JARVIS. Stands for Just A Really Very Intelligent System.” 

Tony blinked. “Another robot, like DUM-E?”

“And U,” Rhodey added, even though it was just adding to the confusion; he’d always been partial to U. 

“Me?” Tony repeated blankly before he caught on and his eyes went even wider. “I built three robots??” 

Rhodey couldn’t help laughing. He had absolutely no idea. “No, Tony. JARVIS isn’t a robot. He doesn’t actually have a physical form. He’s… Fuck man, he’s the most sophisticated machine ever. He’s a fully functional learning AI. He’s smarter than most humans I’ve met, he manages to keep you on your toes. I swear to god, Tones, he has emotions. As soon as we get you out of this SHIELD safehouse, I’ll get you back to the tower, and you can talk to him yourself. It’s gonna blow your damn mind.” 

Tony leaned back against cushions, looking overwhelmed in the best kind of way, bright-eyed with wonder. He looked young, despite the laugh lines and the grey in his goatee, and for just a moment Rhodey felt his stomach twist with a funny sort of nostalgia. Rhodey had fallen in love with Tony when he was twenty years old, and he had never stopped being in love with him. He’d long ago accepted that it was unrequited, that he was never going to love anyone the way he loved Tony, and that was fine. It didn’t even hurt anymore, it was just… How it was. He wouldn’t trade their relationship for anything. But seeing Tony like this, smiling all bright and open like he was eighteen, he felt like he was falling in love all over again and it ached. 

“Holy shit,” Tony breathed, shaking his head a little. “I can’t believe I did that. I mean, I can, because it’s me, but… Holy shit.” He shook his head again. “Wait, SHIELD? Like… The SHIELD that Aunt Peggy runs?” He looked around the room, like it would give him some sort of clue. “Do I work for SHIELD?” 

Rhodey puffed out his cheeks and he blew out a long breath. “Not exactly,” he admitted. “You work with them sometimes, but… You’re an Avenger.” 

Tony blinked back at him, expression blank, and Rhodey realized that, right. That meant absolutely nothing to him. 

“Uhh. You’re a superhero?” 

Tony blinked again and then started laughing, so hard that he couldn’t hold himself upright, bright giggles filling the room. Rhodey couldn’t help laughing too, the sound contagious, and it was several minutes before Tony managed to speak again. 

“A superhero,” he repeated, wiping actual tears from his eyes. “Well, at least your stupid sense of humour hasn’t changed in the past thirty years. What, am I the new Captain America?” he asked, snorting again. 

“No,” Rhodey told him. “Definitely not Captain America. But you do know him.” 

Tony stopped laughing abruptly as he caught the look on his face. “Wait, are you serious? Are you…” He trailed off and flung his arms in the air. “How is any of that possible?” 

And so Rhodey had told him about Afghanistan, how he’d been kidnapped but come out of it with a shiny metal suit of armor, how they’d found Thor, and then after that Steve in the ice, and then about the Battle for New York and how that had led into them becoming a team.

“Oh my god,” Tony breathed when he was done. “I’m not going to lie, that sounds completely unbelievable, but also, way too convoluted to be anything but real.” He leaned back, thinking, and Rhodey watched him mouth the words ‘Iron Man’ to himself. Then he shot forward again, grabbing at Rhodey’s arm. Rhodey shivered at the little thrill of pleasure he always felt when Tony was all close and in his space like this. “Can I see it?” he asked, like a little kid trying to sneak a cookie. “The Iron Man suit?” 

Rhodey couldn’t help laughing. “Suits,” he told him, snorting as Tony’s eyes got bigger still. “And of course you can see them. They’re yours. Just gotta get the all clear to get you out of here.” 

“Wait, so then… Those people that were here before? They’re Avengers too?” His eyes were still wide, but they took on a horrified expression. “Oh my god, was that actually Captain America?” Tony made a ridiculous ‘eep’ noise and actually pulled the blanket over his head. “Rhodeyyyy,” he whined through the fabric, giving Rhodey a flashback to Tony’s first date at MIT. “You’re going to have to resign on my behalf, because I can’t ever go back to being an Avenger.” 

Rhodey patted his knee consolingly, taking advantage of the fact that Tony couldn’t see him to drink in his fill of him. “Of course you can, Tony. We’re your team. We all love you. And Steve’s your best friend, after me obviously. He doesn’t care, I promise.” 

“You don’t understand! I told Captain America he belonged in a porn.” 

“I’m pretty sure you’ve said way worse to him.” 

“And I’m pretty sure the words ‘wet dream’ were used. How do I ever look at him again?” 

“Jesus,” Rhodey muttered as something that was definitely not jealousy twisted in his stomach. He’d forgotten about Tony’s weird Captain America hero worship phase. “Tony, you’re fine. I know you don’t remember, but Steve knows you. He wouldn’t have expected anything less. Do you want me to call them back in so you can see for yourself?” 

The face that Tony made was hilarious. “No!”

“Come on, man. I know you. You don’t rip the bandaid now, it’s just gonna get harder and harder…” He nudged him teasingly. “Tones. They’re your teammates. They’ll want to see that you’re okay.” 

“I hate you,” Tony grumbled, but Rhodey could already tell he was relenting. Patting his knee once more, he gave him a wink and got up to the door. Steve and Nat were, unsurprisingly, lingering outside, and he gestured them in. 

“Come on,” he said, trying not to sound too grudging. He knew deep down that it wasn’t their fault Tony had gotten hurt, but they’d still been the ones with him when it happened, and he couldn’t help feeling a little resentful. 

Natasha, at least, didn’t seem to care in the slightest. She brushed past him to sidle right up on the bed beside Tony, tugging him close and stroking a hand through his hair. “Hey baby,” she purred, a teasing smirk on her lips, and Rhodey resisted the urge to snort. “How’re you feeling?” 

Tony stared up at her with wide eyes and Rhodey bit back his fond smile. “Uh.” Tony ducked his head and cleared his throat and then his gaze snapped back up to her like he couldn’t look away (not that anyone would really blame him for that). “You’re one of my teammates, I guess? I’m Tony.” He winced then, and stared up at the ceiling. “But… you… already know that.” He shook his head. “Amnesia is fucking weird.” 

“Oh my god,” Natasha crowed. “MIT Tony is fucking adorable.” She wrapped her arms around his neck in a sideways hug and glowered at Rhodey. “You never told us,” she tsked, kissing Tony’s cheek. Nobody missed the blush that crept over Tony’s cheeks. 

“Natasha.” Steve rolled his eyes, but he was looking amused. “Stop tormenting Tony when he doesn’t remember you enough to shoot back.” 

Tony’s eyes darted in his direction before immediately flickering away again, and Rhodey felt something sour roll in his stomach as Tony’s blush deepened. Nat had noticed it too, hiding her smile to keep from completely embarrassing Tony. 

“Um, thanks,” Tony managed, looking up again to give Steve one of those mega-watt smiles that Rhodey had first fallen in love with. It was bright and open, from before he’d even needed to learn his press smile, and the jealousy in Rhodey’s stomach grew. It felt ridiculous to even think it, but those smiles were supposed to be just for him. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve told him, laughing a little. 

“And, uh. Sorry about what I said before,” Tony blurted out all in a rush. “The whole… porno… thing.” He looked like he wanted to sink through the floor, and Rhodey very much wanted to hug him. “I didn’t, I mean… I hate hospitals, so I was kind of not myself, and then, you know, obviously if I’d known you were the real Captain American, I wouldn’t have…” He trailed off, hand rubbing at his sternum in the same nervous tic he’d had since 2008; his body, at least, seemed to remember. “Anyway.” 

“Wow.” Steve grinned. “He really is adorable. Can we keep him?” 

Tony gave a startled laugh at that. “You can definitely keep me,” he promised, a hint of flirtation in his voice, and when Steve had looked away he caught Rhodey’s eye and mouthed ‘oh my god.’ 

Rhodey forced himself to give a normal smile in return. He’d forgotten about this mix of shy, and awkward, and weirdly flirtatious that Tony had been, barrelling from one extreme to the other, and while he was loving getting to see this side of him again, he couldn’t help wishing that more of it was directed at him. 

“I still can’t believe you’re the actual Captain America,” Tony continued. “I mean, I have all your trading cards at home, and I--,” He cut himself off abruptly, flushing again. “God, Dad must have shit a brick when he finally found you.” 

Tense silence filled the room, and Rhodey felt his stomach drop. How had he forgotten to tell Tony about his parents? To be fair, thinking about Howard still made him want to put his fist through a wall -- or the man’s face -- so he did it as little as possible. And it was so far behind them now that it hadn’t even come into his mind. 

Tony was looking back and forth between all three of them now, obviously picking up on the fact that something was wrong and Rhodey knew he wouldn’t want to get this news in front of two essential strangers. 

“You two out. Now,” he told them, voice booking no argument. To their credit, Steve and Nat didn’t look inclined to argue anyway, Nat giving Tony one last kiss on the cheek, softer this time, before the two of them slipped out the door. 

There was silence for a moment after the solid click of the door closing, Tony staring down at his hands. “Dad’s gone, isn’t he?” he asked, though it didn’t sound like a question. 

Rhodey sighed, moving closer to the bed again. “Tones…” 

Tony looked up at him then, and his eyes were shimmering. “Did he at least get to see me become a superhero?” he asked softly. Rhodey just shook his head, wishing not for the first time that he could bring Howard back to life just to kill him himself. Even after everything he’d done to him, all Tony had ever wanted was to make the man proud.

“No,” he told him. “That came a lot later.” 

Tony nodded, looking back down at his hands. “Mom?” he asked, just the one word. There was a crack in his voice, and Rhodey felt his heart break. 

“I’m so sorry, Tony.” 

Tony made a soft sobbing noise, and without stopping to think about it, Rhodey was up on the bed beside him, tugging him into his lap. Tony moved into it easily, comfortable with Rhodey in a way he hadn’t even been remotely close to with Nat. He shifted until he was half sideways, arms wrapped around Rhodey’s waist and face pressed into his upper abdomen and Rhodey just leaned back against the pillows and rubbed over Tony’s back, letting him mourn his mother’s death for the second time. He knew the circumstances weren’t anywhere near ideal, but Rhodey felt his breath catch and couldn’t help feeling something inside him settle with Tony against him like this, couldn’t help thinking that he could stay like this with him forever. 

Eventually, Tony’s sobs evened out, the shivers that had been going through him coming to a stop. He didn’t make any move to get up though, just squirmed a little to get more comfortable against Rhodey’s side as the other man continued to stroke through his hair. 

“This is super gay,” he mumbled, still making no move to to pull away. Then he froze, body going tense and tight. “I mean, uh… Not that you’re gay. Or I’m gay. It’s not, like…” He was flustered, stumbling all over his words, and Rhodey couldn’t help laughing. 

“It’s okay, Tones,” he told him. “I know you like men, too. It’s totally fine. Completely acceptable now, even.”

“Oh,” Tony said softly, and his arms tightened around just a little around Rhodey’s waist. “Okay.”  

They stayed there in comfortable silence until Rhodey knew he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Tony,” he said quietly, still rubbing his head to keep him calm. “There’s more.”

He could feel Tony take a deep breath beneath him, steeling himself. “Okay,” he said again, voice quieter still. “Tell me.” 

“Your parents’ death… It was set up to look like an accident, but. It wasn’t.”

Tony pulled back then, staring at Rhodey, and the expression in his eyes was enough to make something catch in Rhodey’s chest. He cleared his throat, and it took him a minute before he could speak. “It… It’s sort of hard to explain, but Hydra -- you know Hydra?” 

Tony gave him a look like he was stupid, and Rhodey tried not to roll his eyes. 

“Okay, well Hydra didn’t die out in World War II. They’ve been here, all along, working behind the scenes to do their evil Nazi thing. And they took your parents out, made it look like a car accident.” He drew in a deep breath, because he barely believed this shit, and he’d watched Rogers take out the helicarriers live on television. Trying to explain it all now was bonkers. “But they didn’t send just any operative to do it. It was their most feared shadow assassin and all that other fun Nazi propoganda bullshit, except in this case it wasn’t all bullshit. They called the asset the Winter Soldier. Who we found out after the fact was actually one Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.”

Tony blinked at him, mouth hanging open. “James Buchanan Barnes,” he repeated. “Like Bucky Barnes? The Bucky Barnes who died in 1945?” 

Rhodey nodded. “That’s the one. Except, you know. He didn’t die, obviously. There was this whole thing with Russians, and brainwashing, and horrible, life-altering torture. I want to be clear here, Tony, it wasn’t really him. He was brainwashed, he didn’t know what he was doing. It was pretty tense here for awhile, after we found everything out, but we think we can help him break through the brainwashing, so you’ve been helping Steve try to track him down.” 

Tony just nodded, still staring at him. “Okay,” he said, voice a little distant. He looked completely overwhelmed, and Rhodey nudged him. 

“Hey, you alright? I know it’s a lot to take in.” 

“Yeah,” Tony admitted with a faint laugh. “It’s… A whole lot.” He looked down at his hands for a minute. “This is embarrassing, but… CanIhaveanotherhug?” he asked, all in a rush. 

Rhodey didn’t laugh, although he was tempted for a moment. “Of course, Tones,” he told him, opening his arms wide. “You don’t ever have to ask for that.” 

Tony tucked himself back in under his arms, and Rhodey resisted the urge to kiss the top of his head, not wanting to freak him out anymore than he already was. There was silence for a few moments as Tony processed all the new information. 

“I suppose it makes sense,” he said finally. “If Bucky was brainwashed, it wasn’t like he was the one who killed mom and dad, not really.” 

Rhodey didn’t bother telling Tony that he was accepting this a lot faster than he had the last time. He had a funny feeling that none of this was quite real for him yet, even if he was understanding the words. 

“And if Steve is my teammate, and Bucky was his best friend, of course I’d help him track him down. And well, Bucky always was my favourite Howling Commando.” Then he squirmed a little, flustered. “Uh… Don’t tell Steve I said that. That was when I was a kid, I mean.”

Rhodey did his very best not to tense up as jealousy flared through him, not wanting Tony to notice, or pull away, or think something else was wrong. “Don’t worry, handsome. Your secret’s safe with me.”

***

Rhodey was pretty sure that he had Natasha to thank for the fact that the wealth of additional, likely unnecessary tests the doctors had wanted to run were suddenly forgotten (it was magic, for fuck’s sake. What did the doctors think they were going to find?), and after a final check over to make sure Tony was all healthy (memory loss aside), they were able to take him back to the tower. 

Tony had blinked as he spotted it on the drive over, eyes going wide as he took in the giant ‘A’ shining in the waning light of the day. “Is that the Avengers Tower?” he asked, and he was trying to sound casual, like it was just a vaguely interesting conversation point, but Rhodey could hear the burning curiosity in his voice, could tell he was only pretending not to be impressed. “They built their own building?”

“Yep. Well, technically it’s your tower, but you’re nice enough to let us all live there.” 

Tony turned to stare at him, mouth hanging open, before he remembered he was pretending to be cool and quickly turned back to face the window. “Stark Tower,” he breathed, even though nobody had referred to it that way since he’d woken up. Then he shook his head. “You mean it’s Stark Industries’ tower,” he corrected. “So technically it’s dad’s tower, since he started the company.” 

Rhodey fought back a wince. “No, Tones,” he told him softly. “This is all you. As someone who’s been your best friend for thirty years now, you’ve gotta trust me on this. You’ve accomplished things Howard couldn’t even dream of.” 

Tony didn’t answer, still trying to play it cool, but Rhodey could see his pleased little smile reflected in the tinted glass of the window. 

His attempts at playing it cool only lasted until they had pulled into the tower garage and stepped into the private elevator that would take them to the avengers’ floors, at which point JARVIS greeted them with a, “Welcome back, Sir. Captain Rogers has already apprised me of your current situation. Let me assure you that I am here to assist you in every and any way possible, and that Dum-E, U and I are all hoping for your speedy recovery.” 

Tony’s jaw had dropped and he’d stared at Rhodey with absolutely enormous eyes. “Holy shit,” he’d gasped. “I thought you were exaggerating!” And then he had promptly forgotten Rhodey’s existence entirely as he bombarded JARVIS with question after question, wanting to know about everything from JARVIS’s operating system, to the power set up for the tower, to finding out how they’d managed to miniaturize the arc reactor. For the first time in this whole insane situation, Rhodey hadn’t minded losing Tony’s attention; it left him free to watch him, to take in his excitement and enthusiasm without worrying that Tony would catch him staring with that stupid, besotted smile that he knew was plastered across his face. It was uncanny how young Tony managed to look despite still being in his 45-year-old body, and it was wreaking havoc with Rhodey’s heart. God, he was so fucking in love with him.

Tony was still bantering with JARVIS when the elevator doors opened and he stepped out automatically, not even looking where he was going. Then the lab lights came on and Tony’s cut himself off mid-sentence, staring around the ‘shop with wide eyes. 

“Holy. Fucking. Shit,” he managed. “Is this… Am I…” 

“It’s yours, baby,” Rhodey told him, unable to keep the grin off his face; it wasn’t often that he got to see Tony’s mind blown like this. “It’s all yours. This is where the magic happens.” He gestured around the room. “Have at it.” 

With a final, disbelieving stare at Rhodey, Tony was running deeper into the lab, immediately trying to negotiate about six different things at once. He was poking at the latest iteration of Sam’s wings when DUM-E came rolling up with a curious little chirp. Tony whirled around, pure joy on his face. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed, patting DUM-E’s strut. “You really do work.” He positively beamed, and Rhodey swore he saw a glimmer of tears in Tony's eyes. “Look at you, you big, dumb thing. You’re so beautiful.” 

Fighting back a laugh, Rhodey moved across the room to give U some love too. “Don’t worry, gorgeous,” he hummed. “He’s gonna love you too. DUM-E’s just his baby.” 

Tony did, of course, cooing over the two of them like they were actual babies. Rhodey couldn’t do much more than stand back and watch, absolutely captivated by watching Tony discover twenty-five years worth of technological advancements at once, looking completely overwhelmed in the best possible way. The noise he made when re realized that his entire system was holographic was the greatest thing that Rhodey had ever heard. He immediately had JARVIS record it and send it to him so that he could set it as his ringtone. Every move that Tony made seemed to remind him all over again why he had fallen in love with him. 

Tony glanced up then, eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked Rhodey over. “What are you smiling at?” 

“Nothing,” Rhodey answered just a bit too quickly, hoping his expression had been more ‘amused’ and less ‘hopelessly in love with you for all of eternity.’ “Nothing, man,” he repeated. “I just forgot how precious you are when you’re all excited.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Shut up,” he grumbled, but his cheeks flushed a little and he gave Rhodey a bright, sweet smile before turning back to whatever was spread out across the table in front of him. Rhodey whistled to get his attention back. 

“Hey Tones!” 

Tony whirled back to look at him, holding up one of Clint’s new prototypes. “Are these exploding arrows?” he demanded. 

“Yeah, man, probably.” He arched an eyebrow at him. “Thought you wanted to see the Iron Man suits though?” 

***

It was hours later that Rhodey got a notification from Steve, letting him know that they’d ordered in food from Tony’s favourite Italian place and that the rest of the team was up in the common area, if they wanted to join them. Rhodey couldn’t help making a face at his phone; he knew they’d have to meet up eventually, but he was kind of enjoying their little bubble, just the two of them and the bots in the workshop. It wasn’t like he was jealous of Tony’s Avengers status, or his friendship with Steve -- really, he was glad that he had someone else in his corner -- but sometimes he missed the days when it had just been the two of them. 

“Hey. Why so glum, chum?” 

Rhodey nearly jumped; he hadn’t realized that Tony was even looking at him. When he’d glanced over a minute earlier, Tony had been fully absorbed with the HUD in one of the Iron Man helmets. 

“No,” he said quickly. “I’m not. Just distracted. Uh… They’ve got Italian for you upstairs, if you’re hungry.”

“Oh, uh…” Tony quickly ducked his head, suddenly fascinated by the HUD display. “I’m okay,” he mumbled, just as his stomach growled loudly. Rhodey folded his arms across his chest, arching an eyebrow, and after a long moment of silence, Tony looked up to give him a sheepish look. “Okay, maybe I’m a little hungry?” he admitted. “Maybe you could bring some food down?” 

Rhodey snorted. “Nope. I know what you’re doing.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” Tony protested, but he was pouting a little. 

“Come on. I know it’s intimidating, but they’re still your team, man. And hey, I’ll be right there with you.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a smile at the corners of his lips. “Promise?” he asked, the pleading in his voice probably a little more genuine than he’d meant it to be. 

Rhodey gave him a wink, couldn’t keep the fond smile off his face. “Promise,” he assured him. 

Tony dragged his feet, saying goodbye to all the bots and promising to come back down to hang out with them again after head. Rhodey felt his heart swell, his stomach melting into something warm and gooey, and he turned for the elevator before Tony could see the stupid look that he knew was all over his face. 

When the elevator dinged open on the common floor Clint was standing there, waiting for them. Rhodey rolled his eyes at the sight, but before he could warn him off, Clint’s face dropped into a pout. “Aww, Tony, no,” he protested. “He looks the same.” He turned his head, hollering somewhere behind him, “He looks the same!” 

“I said his memory deaged, Barton!” Nat hollered. “Not his entire body!” This was followed up by some creative Russian cursing that made Clint’s frown deepen. 

“Well that’s just rude,” he protested, getting him a shy smile out of Tony. Clint tilted his head at that. “Oh, wow. I didn’t know your face could look like that.” 

Tony blinked back at him. “Thanks?” 

Clint beamed in return, then shoved his hand out. “I’m Clint, by the way. I guess you don’t know that anymore. Or… Yet? This is confusing.” 

Nat came out of the kitchen, laden down with serving dishes of food and an unusually soft smile for Tony. “It’s really not that complicated, Clint. It’s amnesia, not time travel. I don’t know how many more times I can explain this.” 

“Uh, it’s Clint,” Sam offered, following her out with a giant basket of garlic bread. “So at least three more times.” 

“Fuck you,” Clint shot back without any real heat. “Man, you don’t even go here. You just followed Cap in, what, three days ago?”

As the rest of the team slowly trickled in to join them, Tony took a half step back, moving a little further into Rhodey’s space. Nobody else even noticed, except probably Natasha, but Rhodey grinned, giving Tony a reassuring pat on the back before he stepped further into the room. 

“Come on, Barton,” he said, deflecting the attention further from Tony. “Don’t be jealous just cause you’re not the only birdbrain on the team anymore.” 

In slightly different circumstances, it could have been any other team bonding night, everyone bantering, and jokily arguing and fighting over the last serving of spaghetti. But Rhodey was hyperconscious of how quiet Tony was, watching the exchanges with wide eyes, rather than jumping to join in. He had tucked himself on the shorter couch beside Rhodey, on the far side of everyone else, clearly trying to pretend that he wasn’t overwhelmed. Rhodey knew him though, could read that awkward little smile. He may have liked the team, but Rhodey was the one thing he knew right now, and so he was sticking close. And judging by the way he’d grin into his tomato sauce every time Rhodey would run interference, his hand brushing appreciatively against Rhodey’s elbow, that wasn’t going to stop any time soon. 

***

By the next week, Tony showed no sign of regaining any of his memories. It was a messy situation; magic meant that there was no medical reason that they could determine for his memory loss. On top of that, Tony had been the only one around when the witch or whatever-they’d-been-fighting had cast the spell on him. And since Tony couldn’t remember anything past 1990, nobody had any clue exactly what the spell was, or how to break it. 

It didn’t help that Thor, the only one of them who had any actual experience with magic, was currently off in one of the other nine realms, doing his god thing. (Although, judging by the way Tony had started warming up to Steve, and was now shyly flirting with him every time he walked into a room, Rhodey couldn’t say he was too upset that Thor wasn’t around.) 

He’d thought that if anything, the lab would be the thing to jumpstart Tony’s memories. But while he’d been fascinated by everything there, and it had taken him mere hours to get everything up and running (despite having his memories stuck in a time when pagers were the height of technology), it hadn’t helped him remember. Rhodey was ready to try anything, so he’d called Pepper, and made some arrangements with JARVIS, and when everything was ready, enlisted Steve’s help to carry four enormous boxes down into the lab. 

Tony looked up from where he was soldering something onto one of the Iron Man suits. Rhodey winced a little because if Tony had fucked something up on the suit he was going to kick both Rhodey and himself later. Tony flushed a little when he spotted Steve, who didn’t even have the grace to be straining under the weight of carrying three of the boxes himself. Rhodey resisted the urge to roll his eyes and mutter something about show offs. 

“What’s this?” Tony asked, looking at the boxes curiously and blinking when Steve winked at me. 

“Don’t ask me. It was Colonel Rhodes’ idea. I’m just here to be the muscle.” 

Tony grinned back at him, waggling his eyebrows. “And what a fine job you do.” 

“I hate you both,” Rhodey grumbled. He’d liked it better when Tony had been all shy and nervous and had to look away every time Steve walked into a room. “These,” he added, dropping his one box down on a table with a bit of spare space. “Are your memories.” 

Tony arched an eyebrow at him, though he set down the soldering iron and moved around to peer down at the box. “Oh good,” he said dryly. “You found them.”

Rhodey elbowed him, hard, grinning when Tony yelped and then laughed as he tried to shove him in return. “It’s pictures and photo albums and videos and things from when we were at MIT, and then afterward. It’s sort of all mixed together. You keep insisting that you don’t want to put them out because it’s ‘relic technology’ and you’re going to digitize them instead. But you haven’t yet, so it’s just been sitting in a heap in storage. I had Pepper send them out. And then of course JARVIS has a bunch of more recent photos and video clips when you’ve worked your way through these.” 

“What?” Steve made a ridiculous noise, staring at Rhodey accusingly. “You didn’t tell me I was carrying around photos of baby Tony!” He grinned wickedly and immediately set down all three boxes, starting to paw the top one open. “I wanna see!”

Tony actually screeched, rushing around the table to try and wrestle Steve away from the boxes. “Nooo,” he wailed, trying to peel Steve’s hands away. He was doing a terrible job, except that Steve was too busy laughing at him to put much effort into fighting back. “I was such a dweeb when I first got to MIT! I don’t need Captain America seeing that.” 

“You’re still a dweeb now,” Rhodey pointed out helpfully, getting a beam out of Steve in response. Rhodey told himself to calm down. He liked Steve. It wasn’t his fault that Tony was so obviously crushing on him. 

“See!” Steve said. “What’s the harm in letting me see?” 

Tony narrowed his eyes at Rhodey. “Traitor,” he grumbled. “Seriously, Steve. Out. Only MIT graduates allowed.” 

Steve frowned. “I feel like that’s a roundabout way of calling me stupid.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, so much like now-Tony that it was hard to believe that he had no memory of the last few years. “I’ll make you a deal. Let me go through them, and I’ll let you look at some of the least dorky ones after.” 

“Fine,” Steve sighed, like he hadn’t just been hassling Tony for the fun of it. “Sam and I were gonna grab coffee anyway. Have fun!” he added, heading for the door and leaving them to it.

Tony waited until he was sure Steve wasn’t coming back before immediately yanking open the tape on the first box and practically falling headfirst into it. “Get over here, Rhodeybear,” he hollered, voice slightly muffled by the cardboard. “We’re in this together.” 

Even with Tony’s memory loss, Rhodey had to admit that the afternoon was the most fun he’d had in awhile. Pepper had sent along an old VCR that she found with all the pictures, so they were able to play the VHSs, and for the millionth time this week, Rhodey found himself falling in love with Tony all over again. He thought he had a pretty good memory, but he’d somehow forgotten how adorable Tony had been, that bright, open giggle that he hadn’t bothered to hide back then, the way he’d go all wide-eyed in excitement, not trying to temper himself. Rhodey hadn’t even realized how much he had missed it. And it was even better when he had Tony’s giggle in stereo, the Tony beside him laughing just as hard over terrible jokes and lab accidents and everything else. Several times he had caught Rhodey staring at him with probably a dumbass look on his face, giving Rhodey a moment of panic that he’d figure it out and know exactly what that look meant. But Tony didn’t seem bothered, would just give Rhodey a soft, sweet smile in return before turning back to whatever was in his hand. 

They’d gone quiet for a bit, Rhodey searching for a particular photo from the Halloween party they’d gone to in ‘97, when Tony made a soft noise across from him. Rhodey looked up to see him perusing a red, leather-bound album. 

“Tones? You okay?” God only knew what else Tony might have had tucked in there. 

But when he looked up, Tony didn’t look upset at all. In fact he was smiling, eyes shimmering a little. “Ohhh,” he breathed. “I get it now.” He ducked his head a little, shy but still pleased, and then leaned over to give Rhodey a soft kiss on the cheek, the beard that he’d immediately fallen in love with (of course) ticking Rhodey’s skin.

Rhodey felt warm all over, Tony’s kisses always making him melt, and it took him a minute to realize that this version of Tony hadn’t quite reached that level of casual affection -- the cheek kisses were still another couple years away. Feeling like he’d missed something, Rhodey blinked at him. “Get what?” 

Tony’s smile was growing into something completely goofy and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “That’s why you were so cool with me before, right? Because you like me...n too.” 

“Yeah?” Rhodey offered, because his sexuality was never something he’d hidden from Tony. 

This just made Tony smile wider. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Tell you what?” Rhodey asked. 

Tony held up the album, showing off a page of pictures of the two of them draped all over each other. “That we’re married!” he proclaimed. 

Rhodey choked on air. “We’re what?” he asked. His voice was weak, and he could feel the blood draining from his face. Panic twisted in his stomach, sharp and bitter. He fucked up, he’d done something to give Tony the wrong idea entirely. 

Tony just gave him a look. “Come on, Rhodes. I know I’m a little behind the times now, but I’m still a genius.” He waggled the photo album in the air. “I have an entire photo album devoted just to you, titled ‘Honeybear.’” He flipped it closed, revealing the nickname titled on the front in gilt cursive letters. “What, have we not told the team or something, is that why you didn’t say anything? Oooh, secret marriage! That’s kind of fun!” He grinned at Rhodey. “Why haven’t we told them? Would they not react well? I know Steve’s from the 1940s, but he was also an artist living in like, the gayest part of Brooklyn. Doesn’t exactly scream homophobic to me. Wait! Is that why you’re so jealous when Steve gets all friendly with me?” 

“I’m not jealous,” Rhodey said weakly.

Tony arched an eyebrow at him with a look that was painfully familiar. “Sure you’re not. I can read you like a book, hot stuff. Oh!” His eyes lit up and he gave Rhodey a smirk that was half teasing and half unbearably pleased. “Now you know I mean it when I call you stuff like that.” 

Rhodey had long since gotten used to Tony’s rambling when he got excited about something, but right now he was having a hard time focusing on what Tony was saying. “Wh… Where are you getting all this?” 

“What? You said gay was okay now. Or… Bi, anyway.” Tony beamed at him. “I've been doing my research.” He got distracted then as a loose picture fell out of the album. It was a later one of Tony and Rhodey in the Iron Man and War Machine armors respectively, faceplates up and arms around each other as they grinned at the camera. “Aww, did I make you that? We match! Cute!”

“Tony.” Rhodey opened and closed his mouth a few times as Tony looked up at him, not knowing how to explain. Tony tilted his head, frowning at him. 

“Rhodey? You okay?” 

“We’re not married,” Rhodey blurted out. He immediately winced; that wasn’t how he had planned to tell him. And then he winced harder when Tony blinked, looking like Rhodey had just told him that the world was flat after all. 

“What?” 

“We’re not married, Tones. We’ve…” He swallowed, the admission hard for all he’d thought he’d accepted it. “We’ve never been like that. I’m so sorry, Tones. I fucked up. I didn’t mean to give you that impression.”

Tony went suddenly, perfectly still, all his manic energy just… Stopping. “We’re not?” he asked, voice soft. Rhodey shook his head and Tony looked away, suddenly unable to even meet his eyes. “Right,” he said softly, and for a truly terrible moment Rhodey thought he was going to cry.

“Tones…” He reached out, curling a hand around Tony’s wrist because everything about this was awful but comforting Tony was ingrained in his blood. “Come on, you’ve never felt like that about me, and that hasn’t changed,” he told him, and Tony’s eyes snapped to his again. “We’re friends, nothin’ else. This is just… A crazy situation, and you’re unsettled, and you’re latching on to what’s familiar.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Tony, or himself. “Right?” 

And it was completely crazy, but for a brief moment Rhodey found himself hoping against hope that Tony would tell him he was wrong, that he did feel that way for him, always had.

But after a too long moment, Tony nodded, scratching at the back of his neck and giving Rhodey a tight smile, fake in a way that it hadn’t been all week, that it had never been for Rhodey. “Right,” he agreed. He gave a strained laugh. “Well, don’t I feel stupid?”

“No, Tones, don’t--,” 

“Anyway, uh… Thanks for all this.” Tony cut him off as he gathered up an armful of photos and videos, not even bothering to look at what he was collecting. “I appreciate it, but I’m feeling kind of tired now, so I’m gonna…” He nodded his head toward the elevator. “I’ll finish looking at these later.” 

Before Rhodey could say another word, he was on his feet, scrambling for the door. It went against every instinct Rhodey had, but he didn’t stop him, didn’t try to follow him. This was his own fault; thirty years of wanting and he’d managed to give it all away in a week. Some space between them probably wasn’t a bad idea. 

And as it turned out, t was fairly easy for Rhodey to avoid Tony, when it seemed as though Tony was doing his level best to do the same. Rhodey wasn’t going to pretend that it hadn’t hurt when Tony had walked into the kitchen, spotted Rhodey, stared at him with painfully wide eyes for a too-long minute and then spun on his heel and left again without even grabbing whatever he’d come for. 

He knew they’d be alright. They’d had distance and rough patches in their friendship before. He’d always joked it was the mark of a healthy relationship, that they’d been able to come back from whatever life threw at them. And, presumably, Tony would eventually get his memories back, and they’d be able to look back on this whole thing and laugh about it -- if he even remembered it at all. They still didn’t know how this amnesia thing worked. 

But in the meantime? It really fucking sucked. 

***

Steve had slipped into the rarely used library, in search of the sci-fi novel he’d lost somewhere. He spotted it on a side table and was just planning to head for the deck and enjoy some sunshine when he heard a faint noise, a sniffling sound that sounded suspiciously like crying. He hesitated a minute; he wasn’t known for being the most emotionally intelligent member of the team, preferring to punch his feelings away. But if one of his team members were upset, or hurting, it was his job to check in. 

Wincing, he made a point of clearing his throat in case they hadn’t heard him come in. “Hello?” he called. “Somebody there?” 

There a sharp inhale, and then a soft, quiet voice came from the armchair facing the window. “‘S just me.”

“Tony?” Steve followed the sound of his voice. “What are you doing in here?” 

“Sorry,” he said, voice still soft. “JARVIS said this was the least used room in the tower. I just… I needed a minute.” 

Steve came around the front of the chair, and his eyes went wide at the sight of Tony curled up in a tiny, miserable ball in the chair, arms folded across his chest, face red and damp with tears. “Jesus Christ, what happened?” he asked; he’d seen Tony cry before, of course, but never anything like this. 

“It’s nothing,” Tony said quickly. “Nothing happened. I was just leaving anyway.” 

Not for the first time, Steve felt the stirrings of resentment, thinking about Howard and what he’d done to make Tony think he had to hide something like this. “Tony… Talk to me. Something must have happened.” 

But Tony shook his head, still not meeting Steve’s eyes. “It’s nothing,” he insisted, starting to slide off the chair. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine, everything’s fine. I’m fine.” 

Steve had been trying to be good about respecting Tony’s boundaries; teasing him was fun, but he knew Tony didn’t really know him right now, and the last thing he wanted was to make him uncomfortable. But as Tony started to slide past him, Steve couldn’t seem to let himself do that now. Without thinking, he carefully grabbed Tony’s arm and pulled him in against his chest, hugging him close. For a split second Tony went stiff and tense him, and Steve wondered if he’d made entirely the wrong choice. Then, with a deep exhale, Tony crumpled against Steve, pressing his face into his shoulder as his tears started fresh. Steve tightened his arms around Tony’s back, running a hand up and down his spine in a way that he hoped was soothing. The little shudder Tony gave against him suggested that it was helping at least a little.  

They stayed like that for a while, Steve taking Tony’s body weight easily, mumbling soothing nonsense phrases like he vaguely remembered his mother doing for him when he’d been sick. Eventually that shifted to actual humming, which got him a sad little giggle out of Tony, his hands squeezing against Steve’s sides. 

“Uhh, no offense, Cap,” he said, pulling back a bit. “But you’re truly terrible at singing.” 

Steve shrugged, unbothered. “You say terrible, I say I got a laugh out of you, so that’s another win for Captain America.” 

Tony snorted and rolled his eyes, but it was a little less sad this time. “Whatever you say, Steve.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, ducking his head a little. “Uh, thanks for that.” 

“Steve shrugged. “That’s what I’m here for. Now, you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” 

“Oh. You don’t have to… I’ll be okay.” He gave Steve a wry smile. “For real this time.” 

“Tony… I know you might not remember this right now, but you really are one of my best friends. I’m not asking because I think I have to, or because I’m Captain America and it’s what I do. I’m asking because I love you, and I care about you, and I’m here for you. I want to help if I can, or just sit here and listen if I can’t.” 

“Um. Okay.” Tony fiddled with his hands a moment before flopping back into one of the arm chairs and running a hand through his hair, leaving it even more unruly than usual. “You better be cool about this, Rogers. If you storm out of here in an offended 1940s huff, you’ll break my heart.” 

Steve gave him a look as he dragged another armchair over, positioning it he could sit opposite Tony. “Right. Because I’m known for definitely being a stickler for those 1940s sensibilities,” Steve told him with a crooked grin. He reached out, patting Tony on the knee. “Come on. You can tell me.”

“Okay.” Tony bit his lip. “It’s just… I love Rhodey. I mean, obviously I love him, everyone know that. But I’m in love with him. Like the get married, and buy a house, have lots of babies in love… Or adopt them, I guess. I’m just…” He trailed off, shrugging helplessly. “I’m in love with him.”

Steve grinned then, but it was soft and reassuring. “Tony… I know.” 

“You do?” 

“You’ve been in love with Rhodey for as long as I’ve known you. We’ve talked about it ad nauseum.” He laughed, not unkindly. “I can’t tell you how many times you’ve told me how wonderful he is, all the things you’ve done together, how much you care him… How hot he is in his dress uniform, which personally I don't get. It’s an air force uniform.” He shook his head. “You used to tell me that how so much of what you’ve done was to make yourself the kind of man who would be worthy of a man like Rhodey. I’m pretty sure that being in love with Rhodes is just a part of who you are now. It’s not news.” 

“Oh.” Tony smiled faintly, but this didn’t seem to make him feel any better. There was a shimmer in his eyes again. “That’s… great.”

Steve tilted his head, frowning. “Okay, what am I missing?” 

Tony gave him a pained look. “I did a stupid thing, Steve. We were looking at the pictures, and I had these albums that were all just Rhodey, and he didn’t even flinch at him, and I don’t even know why now, but I thought…” His voice trailed off to a whisper, so soft that if it wasn’t for the serum, Steve wasn’t sure if he would even have heard him. “I thought we were married.” 

Steve felt his heart break at the raw pain on his face. “Oh, Tony.”

“I know, okay? I know. It was so fucking stupid, like why did I jump to married, we don’t even have rings, I don’t know why I said it, I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. Dad always did tell me I talked too much. But the point is…” He made a choked noise. “The point is, he doesn’t love me back. And future me might be okay with it, but right now it really sucks knowing for a fact that you’re never going to get that happy ending that you don’t admit to daydreaming about. And, and it’s worse. Because for just a minute, I thought I had it. I thought I had everything I could have wanted, and then it was all just yanked away again and…” His voice cracked. “And that really fucking sucks,” he concluded. “Not to mention, I’m pretty sure I just ruined five years -- or thirty years -- of friendship in the process.” 

“Hey, hey no.” Steve shook his head rapidly. “Tony, it may not be the way you want, but Rhodey loves you. He’d throw every single one of us under the bus if it meant helping you. I know it feels awkward now, but no way has this ruined your friendship. You’ll get through this.” 

Tony huffed out a bitter laugh, face tight as he met Steve’s gaze. “I may be an idiot, but I know Rhodey. I can tell when my best friend is avoiding me.” 

And there wasn’t really anything Steve could add to that to that, nothing he could offer except to sit in companionable silence with Tony, until he looked up at him with a sad, tentative smile. 

“Don’t suppose you wanna watch a movie with me tonight?” 

Steve gave him the most reassuring smile he could manage. “Of course, Tony. Any time.” 

***

It had only been a couple days, but it felt like an entire week before Steve came to him. Rhodey hadn’t missed the way Steve and Tony had been spending more and more time together, had been trying to press down the overwhelming jealousy every time he spotted them together. He wasn’t being fair, and he knew it. Tony didn’t trust him now, couldn’t trust him right now, that wasn’t his fault. Rhodey should have been glad that he had someone in his corner, he just… Wished it didn’t have to be Steve.

Not that there were a lot of other options at the moment. The entire team had been pretty scarce lately, probably sensing the tension even if they didn’t know exactly what was going on. Clint had made it a habit to glare at Rhodey every time he passed, because Hawkeye had realized Tony was avoiding him, and apparently Clint was the only one who was allowed to be a shithead to Tony. It was exhausting. 

He’d been in the kitchen, making a snack, when Steve had stormed in. Rhodey would never admit it, especially not to Rogers, but for just a moment he’d felt genuine terror. But he hid it well, turning back to the sandwich he was making. “Captain. What can I do for you?”

Steve didn’t answer at first, moving to lean against the counter beside him. “You need to go talk to Tony,” he told him.

Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose. “Steve…” 

“No,” Steve told him firmly. “Rhodes, he’s a mess. I’m trying, but you’re the friend he wants. Talk to him.” 

Rhodey felt guilt twist through his stomach, tangled up with the same thrum of fear he’d been fighting off since the whole marriage exchange had happened. “You sure he’ll talk to me?” he asked skeptically, the words slipping out without his consent. 

Steve made a pained noise. “You two deserve each other,” he muttered before promptly stealing Rhodey’s sandwich right off the plate in front of him. “Go. Talk to him,” he repeated before taking an enormous bite and walking right out of the kitchen. 

Rhodey sighed. “Worst. Team. Ever.” 

***

He found Tony, surprise of surprises, in the lab. At least, he reasoned, he hadn’t ruined that for him. 

He still had full access, apparently, the doors opening for him automatically, but Tony didn’t look up and so Rhodey hovered inside the doorway, tapping his knuckles against the frame. “Tones?” 

“I know it’s you. JARVIS told me.” Tony flicked his eyes at him for a split second, but Rhodey couldn’t help noticing that his expression was less angry and more sad and nervous. 

“I, uh…” Rhodey didn’t know where to start or what to say. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know we haven’t seen much of each other the past few days.”

Tony looked up again, eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I know I freaked you out, and of course you wouldn’t want to be married to me. I’m really, really sorry. I promise, I’ll get over these feelings. It’s just a crush, probably… Maybe… Well, Steve said--.” He cut himself suddenly, skin flushing. “Well, anyway. I mean we’re, we’re still friends thirty years later, right? And you don’t know how future me feels, so I must have gotten over it, or at least used to it, or adjusted at some point, right? I promise, I won’t make it weird, just… You’re my best friend. Please don’t go.” 

Rhodey blinked, across the room and beside Tony before he was even conscious of the movement. Tony had dropped his eyes back to the table in front of him, but Rhodey caught him by the upper arms, pulling him away so they were facing each other. “Whoa, whoa, hey. First of all, I’m not going anywhere, Tones. Not ever. Second of all. What??” 

Tony gave him a pained look. “Come on, Rhodey. I know you’ve been avoiding me.” 

“Because… I thought… Tony, you thought we were married. And I… That’s on me. The truth is.” He drew in a long breath, ignoring the pang in his stomach at the thought of confessing. “The truth is, I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. Like three decades worth of a long time. And obviously I was doing a shit-ass job of hiding them, so I just… I just thought you might want some space.” 

Tony was staring at him, face unreadable. “What?” Then he shook his head frantically. “No, no, no! Rhodey, are you kidding? I’ve been crushing on you for so long. Since… Well, since we met, really. I walked into the dorm room and you were wearing this old, thin t-shirt and it was so tight around your biceps and I kinda melted a little, and I…” He winced a little, coughing to clear his throat. “Well anyway, that’s kind of too much information, but the point is… The point is, I’m into you too. And then, when I saw the photos, and the videos, and there were all the other little things. You kept touching me, and looking at me, and you said that being gay was accepted now, and I guess I just… I wanted it to be true so I totally misread the situation.”

He ran out of steam then, going quiet as he stared at Rhodey, and for a minute Rhodey just stared back, feeling a little like he might pass out. “Oh,” he said faintly. “Oh, shit.” 

Tony smiled at him, soft and tentative. “You… you like me too?” he asked, hopeful and nervous like Rhodey hadn’t just said as much.

Rhodey grinned, feeling like he was buzzing with happiness. “Tony, I am completely and absolutely in love with you,” he told him, watching as the biggest grin bloomed across Tony’s face in response. 

“I, um…” He ducked his head a little. “I’m a little in love with you too.” 

Rhodey arched an eyebrow at him. “Just a little?” 

Tony rolled his eyes at him. “Shut up.”

“Come on, man. Get on my level.” 

Tony snorted, the sound turning into a full-on laugh. “Your level?” he replied. “We just confessed our undying love and you haven’t even kissed me yet.” 

“Oh, really?” Rhodey focused all his attention on Tony, watching as his tongue darted out to swipe over his lip a little nervously. “That what you’re waiting for?” 

Tony shrugged, trying to play cool. “Maybe,” he offered, like it was no big deal, but his fingers were fiddling anxiously. Rhodey shrugged. 

“Alright then.” He moved forward, covering Tony's hands with his his to still their nervous twitching. Then he shifted one hand to curl around the back of his neck, stroking his thumb over his skin. Tony stared up at him with those big, beautiful eyes, lips parted slightly in anticipation, and Rhodey grinned at him before closing the distance between them and kissing him gently. Tony almost immediately melted against him, hands shifting to grab at Rhodey’s hips, clutching them tight as his lips parted and Rhodey deepened the kiss. He slid his hand down Tony’s back, pulling him in close, and grinned at the startled, pleased noise Tony made against his mouth. 

They were both breathing hard when he pulled back again, curling his other hand around his neck so he could stroke his thumbs over his pulse points. “That good, baby?” 

Tony blinked at him a couple times. “Holy shit,” he breathed, eyes round and huge. “That was… Holy shit.” 

Rhodey smirked at him. “What? Don’t tell me you don’t remember kissing.” 

Tony gave him a mock glare. “Of course I remember kissing! But it was never like... That. Jesus Rhodes, where’d you learn to kiss like that?” 

Rhodey couldn’t help laughing, shaking his head and ducking his head to give Tony another quick kiss. “Practice,” he told him, waggling his eyebrow. 

“Yeah? Wanna go upstairs and practice some more?” 

“Smooth, man.” Rhodey laughed harder, not wanting to admit how much Tony’s terrible line delighted him. He hummed consideringly, and then yelped when Tony pinched his side. “Come on, like I’m going to turn down making out with you.” 

Tony beamed at him. “And then, maybe, you could… Stay? Even if we don’t do anything. I Just… I missed you the last couple days.” 

Rhodey slid his arms down over Tony’s back, pulling him in and hugging him tight. “I like the sound of that.” 

***

They ended up stretched out on Tony’s massive bed, stripped down to boxers and t-shirts. Tony was sprawled out on top of him, making contented little noises against Rhodey’s mouth as they made out lazily for what felt like hours. Rhodey was particularly fond of this angle, as it let him drop his hand down to Tony’s ass and squeeze whenever he felt like it. The little giggle that Tony had made the first time was Rhodey’s new favourite sound. 

“Hey,” Tony pulled back, blinking at Rhodey with sleepy eyes. “You know what we should do?” 

Rhodey hummed, running his hands over Tony’s back. “What’s that?” 

“You should take my virginity.” 

Rhodey burst out laughing, tipping them onto their sides. He shook his head, beaming at Tony. “Okay, I know for a fact that you’re not a virgin, even at your memory age, or whatever.” 

Tony gave him a scandalized look, but he was laughing now too. “Not for butt stuff!” he insisted. “I’ve never done that!” 

Rhodey laughed harder. “Okay. The fact that you just called it butt stuff? Means we’re not fucking doing it tonight. Or at all, until you get your memories back.”

Tony giggled, pushing at Rhodey until he shifted onto his back, letting Tony snuggle up against his side. “Fine,” he sighed, not sounding particularly upset. “What about blow jobs? We’ll split the difference! I’ve gotten them before, but I’ve never given them before… We can 69!” 

Rhodey snorted, wrapping his arms around Tony. “You’re hopeless,” he informed him. He traced long fingers up and down his spine. “Also, no. It’s just… I get that you might be fully onboard--,”

“I fully, absolutely am,” Tony informed him, biting at his chest through his t-shirt just to be a shit.

“But that doesn’t mean that you’ll feel the same way when you get your memories back.” 

Tony lifted his head to give him a skeptical look. “Well, I don’t think that’s likely to happen.” 

“Probably not. At least I hope not. But we won’t know for sure until you get them back. I don’t know, Tones. It’s a weird situation. I’m just not totally comfortable with it.” 

Tony hummed. “That’s fair,” he acknowledged. “Although, I do feel obliged to point out that you did just spend the last hour making out with me.” 

Rhodey shrugged. “Hey man, I’m only human.” 

Tony giggled again, settling in closer. “Hey, you’re gonna stay though, right?” he asked, a little bit of nervous energy sliding into his voice again. “Here, I mean? Tonight?” 

Rhodey hummed, pressing his face into the soft curls on the top of Tony’s head. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

***

Rhodey woke up the next morning to bright laughter beside him. He rolled over to find Tony sprawled out on his back, laughing up at the ceiling. “What the fuck are you giggling at?” 

Tony turned to grin at him, and oh. “Tones?” he asked, because that face was all his Tony. Well, every Tony was his Tony, but it was now Tony.

Tony smirked at him. “Hey handsome. Guess who got their memories back.” Then he was shifting forward, kissing Rhodey with all his extra years of experience. “God, your morning breath is terrible,” he informed him, still grinning. 

“Yours isn’t exactly candy floss,” Rhodey replied automatically, setting Tony off laughing again. “Okay, laughing at the man you just kissed isn’t a great start.” 

“It’s not that!” Tony said quickly, sliding a hand up under Rhodey’s t-shirt to splay his hand out over his abdomen. “It’s just... “ He snorted. “The spell. It’s so fucking stupid, but the key to getting my memories back? True love’s kiss.” He buried his face in Rhodey’s chest, body shaking with laughter. “We’re such cliches, baby.” 

Rhodey grinned, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. “I wouldn’t expect you to be so pleased by that idea.” 

Tony lifted his head to give him a dopey grin, shrugging a little. “I don’t know. Nothing in my life has exactly been what you’d call normal. If it means you’re my one true love, absolutely, I kind of like the idea of being a cliche.” 

Rhodey felt his face go soft and soppy. “You’re the sweetest damn thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, earning him an eye roll even as a pleased smile crossed Tony’s lips. 

“Shut up,” he muttered, before wriggling his way down Rhodey’s body. “Now, about those blow jobs you promised me…”

@tonystarkbingo

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

2016 Fanfiction Round-Up

Copied this fanfic round-up from @veliseraptor​ because I’m always a sucker for this kind of thing and I pretty much always do some kind of fic retrospective. Also I’m only doing this on AO3, not counting FFN.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: The unfortunate thing about my inability to finish stuff in a reasonable time frame means that there’s probably a big difference between how much I wrote last year and how much I actually posted. On the other hand, something like half of “the kindness of strangers” was written prior to this year and I’m still counting everything I posted, so whatever. Adding it all up, I posted 67,504 words on AO3 (minus “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor”), but my dubiously accurate 2016 document contains 97,000 words, so...my actual wordcount for the year is probably around 85,000.

This year I wrote and posted: 16 fics, of which 3 have more than one chapter, and 53 new “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor” posts 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I didn’t set a word-count goal of any kind, so...I don’t know? I’d say I did okay, although now that I’m looking at it, I feel like I should have finished/posted even more short fics than I did, which is...not a super helpful way to look at things.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Maybe the “I got pissed about Hydra Cap” one, considering I sure didn’t see that asinine “twist” coming. I also didn’t really expect I’d write so many Avengers Academy fics, although maybe I should have. Of course, those are still both Marvel. Probably the only really out-there fic was flailing in the deep, for @markiplier‘s Slime Rancher and Subnautica videos. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Overall, I think I’d have to say under bright stars burning--I struggled a lot with that one too, partly because it was so different from anything I’d written before (taking place over a long period of time, with two characters gradually developing a relationship, and a somewhat more meandering plot than normal because of that; plus most of it was set in the past, requiring a lot more research than usual), and I spent a lot of the writing process sure I was producing absolute garbage, but I ended up being really satisfied with it. I think it has a good arc, with vignettes that work well individually, and based on the comments, I think I did a good job writing Steve’s voice, using gradually maturing word/style choices for different life stages, and showing how he and Loki fit well together. I don’t know, I just like it a lot. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Taking the plunge and committing to one of my long-term WIPs (the kindness of strangers) for Marvel Big Bang, I suppose. I learned, uh, that trying to wrestle a story I wrote in disconnected chunks over 2+ years is agonizing but more or less possible? 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: Not counting the adventures of tiny Loki and Thor, my fic with the most kudos was the state of my head (228), followed by “under bright stars burning” (178), Metal Gear Widow (137), and “the kindness of strangers” (131). By comments, it’s pretty much the same but in a different order: “the kindness of strangers” (58 comment threads), “under bright stars burning” (32), and “the state of my head” (16). If you go by percentage of kudos to hits, it’s “the state of my head” (13%), “the kindness of strangers” (12%), I’m your national anthem (12%), and “under bright stars burning” (10%). Also I’m sure that’s way more than anyone wanted to know. 

Most fun story to write: Maybe “the state of my head”; I got inspired by a prompt, it all came together quickly, and I knocked it out in a weekend. Writing from Tony’s POV was fun, too. “flailing in the deep” was another one where I got to be funny.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Literally the only semi-explicit sex scene (by which I mean, I didn’t fade to black but I also didn’t describe specific body parts) I’ve ever written was for let your colors bleed and blend with mine (Crimson Peak, Thomas/Edith) and that was right at the end of 2015 so it doesn’t quite count. Otherwise there’s a kissing scene in “under bright stars burning” but it’s...not very sexy...

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  uhhhhh. well, “the kindness of strangers” probably has the most/nastiest Loki whump I’ve posted on AO3 thus far, to the point that I think a few readers were surprised, so I suppose there’s that??

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I hadn’t really written Steve before “under bright stars burning” and that ended up being a reasonably long fic all from his POV, at different points throughout his life, so writing that one definitely gave me a better sense of him as a character. 

Hardest story to write: Gonna have to go with “the kindness of strangers,” which should be obvious to anyone who noticed me screaming about Marvel Big Bang for the last several months. 

Biggest Disappointment: I’m not great with deadlines, as everyone probably knows, so pretty much every time I sign up for anything with a deadline, I end up causing myself a lot of stress and just barely squeaking in under the wire, often with less of a story than I originally planned, or actually a little bit after the deadline in one way or another. I’ve often been especially bad about this with Yuletide, posting an unfinished placeholder on the deadline and then getting it actually done before reveals; way back in 2011, I never did get it done and they had to send it out for a pinch hit the night before reveals, and I still feel bad about that (and keep intending to go back to the fic I was trying to write). This year I got caught doing it again and although I did end up posting a complete story, I’m definitely not happy with it because it’s like...one third of the story I meant to write. I still intend to finish it, but the fact that I didn’t is frustrating. 

Biggest Surprise: Nothing comes to mind.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I’ve written exactly two Marvel-related fics that aren’t about Loki, and they’re both about Steve, one where he’s progressive and mad at the whole world, and another where Avengers Academy Steve realizes he’s on the aro/ace spectrum. That probably says something.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

At this point, Tony is running almost entirely on adrenaline and good old-fashioned Stark bravado (patent pending), so he’s pretty much prepared for things to go completely to shit at any second. The particular variety of shit remains to be seen, but honestly, shit is shit and he’s mostly just banking on JARVIS deploying the new suit before Loki switches from talking to shooting. (the state of my head)

“What the fuck is this?” (I’m your national anthem)

Dorian was worried about the Inquisitor. This was hardly unusual, to be fair; in fact it was so far from being a new state of affairs that when Dorian wondered briefly what it would be like to live without at least a vague background worry for Elden, he came up blank. (another year)

For as long as Gamora has known him, Thanos has been a collector, entirely unmatched. He has been so for much longer than that, in fact; Gamora herself and all her siblings are proof. (the kindness of strangers)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

“I wouldn’t say nervous,” he hedges. Nervously. (the weight of it all)

“I’ve never stood for any of that shit, and I’m sure as hell not going to let anybody pretend Captain America stands for it either. That’s not—I won’t give more power to that kind of hatefulness. If people want to be bigots, fine, that’s on them, but they do not get to use this symbol to spread and validate their hate.” (I’m your national anthem)

There’s about five seconds of resounding silence, during which Loki shivers and barely seems to be breathing and Tony keeps rubbing his shoulder because apparently this is his life now, and then Barton says, “What the fuck, Stark?” (the state of my head)

Loki growls under his breath and makes a sharp gesture that sends another robot flying. “End program,” he snaps, and glowers at Natasha again. “Did you have a point, or did you simply wish to drag me back to the infatuated horde slavering for my brother’s return?” Natasha tilts her head. Whatever else you could say about Loki (and there’s a lot), he sure has a fancier vocabulary than most people she knows. (getting the gang together)

He is a being of countless interwoven myths and stories, the precise intersection of which seems to shift every time he tries to examine it, and eventually he stops trying, because he is no longer sure that it is relevant to what he is doing here. One thing, in all this, is constant: always, he is Loki, and he knows more than almost anyone that identity is malleable, that facts and truth are not always perfectly interchangeable. (we could be heroes)

“I see,” Loki says. He does, actually; he has studied and used enough magic to know that some laws of reality simply are, immutable no matter the power of the one seeking to change them. This knowledge does nothing to make him feel any less weary, and for a moment he thinks the weight of all this really will crush him, that he lacks the strength to do anything but sink into the dust of this barren realm and sleep there forever. (in death’s other kingdom)

haha so it turns out I liked a bunch of lines in this year’s long fics so I’m just gonna...list those separately at the bottom...

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated: 

"under bright stars burning,” Steve and Loki hanging out on Coney Island, especially the bit where they’re sitting on the boardwalk railing watching the beach with the Wonder Wheel behind them

ditto, the kissing scene :3

anything?? those are the only two scenes that really come to mind in a “oh man I wish someone would draw this, it would be super cute” way, but 1) “the kindness of strangers” already has a bunch of awesome art from @neurovicky, which is amazing, and 2) I am thrilled with literally any fanart of my fics

Fic-writing goals for 2017:

continue writing at least a little bit every day

continue to post at least one new short fic to AO3 each month (last year I said “even if it’s a new ‘adventures of tiny Loki and Thor’ or ‘Custom figures’ chapter” but I managed even without that, I think, barely, so I should be able to do it again

continue to try focusing on fucking finishing some of the many, many, many fics languishing on my WIP list, especially the shorter ones that I really should have written and posted months or even years ago

more specific fic goals:

finish “the kindness of strangers” part III

finish the rest of my Yuletide fic haha whoops

New Year’s Resolution fic because my actual Yuletide fic was late, more whoops

that damn Stoki Week fic I started back in June

“Avengers Academy: Friendship Is Magic”

finish the rest of always gold to me

shit, I should get back to winter in our bones

and work on a followup to “under bright stars burning”

I don’t knowwww there are so many others

Favorite lines from “under bright stars burning” because sure why not, please note these are all very spoilery if you want to read the fic and haven’t:

“You would [like Thor],” Loki says, like it’s a law of the universe. “Thor is…bright, and boisterous, and everyone loves him, even when they are displeased with him. He is impossible to ignore. And I am…not him.”

He darts a glance toward Steve and then away, studying the shoreline, and Steve is suddenly struck by how beautiful Loki is. He’s noticed before, but not quite like this, with the breeze ruffling Loki’s hair and the sun highlighting those fine, sharp features Steve is always itching to draw. He doesn’t just want to draw Loki now, though; mostly he’s wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

Steve sighs, shoulders slumping, and gives up on the attempt at a smile. “It’s my mom. She…working in the TB ward finally caught up to her.” He swallows hard around the lump in his throat, which seems to be growing sharp points with every word. “The funeral was today.”

Loki gives him a look that somehow combines concern with profound skepticism.

Steve nods, his gut twisting uneasily as more threads of the nightmare come into focus, connect, begin to compose a larger picture. The golden prince in the red cape, blinding and bright, with a shadow no one ever notices. Cheers and thunderous applause (but not for the shadow, never for the shadow). His hand turning blue and ridged in the monster’s grip, and horror freezing the breath in his lungs more effectively than the glacial cold. A glowing blue box radiates cold and his hands turn blue as he touches it monster monster monster and revulsion is so thick in his throat he thinks he’ll choke on it. Rage and terror, rage and terror, no more than another stolen relic, claimed to love me, tell me tell me tell me, never wanted never loved never real and fear again. A corona of golden light. A spear and a throne and plans plans plans he will do it he will show them he is right, is worthy (is nothing but the monster parents tell their children about at night)—

Desert. Blood on the sand. A bridge. Battle, galaxies hanging suspended overhead. An explosion that sends him flying, his grip on the spear the only thing holding him above the abyss, but he has no reason to hold on and so he lets go and falls falls falls—

Bucky falls and Steve can’t catch him. Schmidt takes off with the Tesseract and Steve can’t stop him. Instead he sits at the Valkyrie’s controls and makes a date with Peggy that they both know he won’t make and tries not to think that even as Captain America, all he can do is fail the people he cares about, over and over again. Tries, fruitlessly, not to spend his last moments wishing he had more time with any of them, and then he sends the Valkyrie into the water.

And then Loki moves, quick as thought, already inside Steve’s guard, and Steve has no time or space to block him (and barely the space of a breath for a rush of horrified betrayal) before the tip of his scepter is pressed to Steve’s heart. Everything else disappears in a blaze of consuming blue light.

He is drowning in pain and anger, and then (no, Loki) despair overwhelms everything else, and he opens his hand, and he falls.

Under other circumstances, Loki thinks he might be impressed with his captors’ efficiency. They are expending no apparent effort and still grinding him down, and he does not want to think what it means, that this all must be in preparation for something—or that perhaps it is not, and he truly does not know which thought is worse.

He knows Thanos is too powerful. To think otherwise comes near to blasphemy.

It is fitting, he supposes, that the monster should destroy everything that was once good in its life, even this. Steve does not deserve this, does not deserve to suffer for unknowingly befriending a monster and finding himself inevitably drawn into the monster’s fate, but he will, and Loki can almost feel his spine bending under the weight of his own despair.

Favorite lines from “the kindness of strangers” because ditto, and ditto on spoilers:

This is truth: Thanos is patient like Death is patient, with the calm surety that the universe will bow to his will in the end no matter how long it takes.

Gamora was never nice except when it suited her, even before; was already hard, and fierce in her defense of anything she considered hers, and so once Thanos had broken and remade her, she had something left of herself, harder even than the shell he made her create.

She is a daughter of Thanos, by necessity and unyielding determination (and by something she refuses to call desperation, even in her own mind), but she is also the last surviving member of the Zehoberei race. This second identity is not one she considers often; at best it is not useful to the life she leads now, and at worst it is dangerous, but it still exists, always, alongside anything else Thanos might make of her—a kind of sacred responsibility, almost, even if she has little time or patience for religion or superstition. And the last survivor of the Zehoberei, in the name of all the unknown dead that she alone carries, burns with quiet rage at the idea of Thanos gaining the power to wipe out another race.

“I would take you for a Valkyrie,” he says, quiet and hoarse, “but if that were so you would not come to me, for I cannot succeed even at dying and I know Valhalla is barred to me.”

Yes, she is afraid of Thanos, afraid down to her marrow, and any thinking being should be as well, and perhaps everything else she tells herself—everything else she holds close as evidence that she does not belong to him—is merely an excuse for her own cowardice.

But the truth that matters the most in this case is simple: her reasons have not changed, and they far outweigh her pity for Loki (and her desire to prove to herself that she is not a coward). Whether they are still good reasons or merely excuses to salve what remains of her conscience is immaterial.

This is another truth: Gamora does not like to think in terms of what she can and cannot do. It is too much like helplessness, to look too long at the choices she is denied, and she learned a long time ago that helplessness is a short step away from death or worse. Instead she assesses situations and finds choices to make, and then she chooses, and she does not regret or look back—even when the choices are impossible or effectively meaningless. There is always, always a choice of some kind to be made, and to choose is to regain some measure of control over the situation, no matter how small. If she chooses, she cannot be forced one way or the other, and therefore she is not helpless.

“Soon,” Thanos tells her, his expression satisfied, and something unpleasant curls in Gamora’s stomach, the same mingling of fear and relief she feels whenever Thanos is pleased.

The titan smiles down at him, something both paternal and predatory in his gaze.

Slowly the blankness in his expression is replaced by something just as sharp and feral as the first time Gamora laid eyes on him, only now it is more wary, more focused, both more and less desperate. ... Every now and then, Thanos tells Loki that he is pleased with his progress, and Loki smiles to hear it, and his smile is like a brittle blade.

And for a long moment that freezes the blood in her veins like shards of ice, all she can think is I have failed. She has not done enough, and Terra is going to fall like her world did so long ago, all because she was so determined to wait for the right moment.

“It’s really not that complicated,” Romanoff says, and then: “I’ve got red in my ledger. I want to wipe it out.” There is…a cadence to it, something he knows, not the words but the sense of…something practiced, repeated, held close…

“Because look, he busted up a town because of a fight with his brother, singlehandedly destroyed a SHIELD installation, took out a guy’s eyeball, and threatened a freaking Holocaust survivor. Even if he doesn’t want to be this Thanos’s tool, he’s still a tool in general.”

“Gentlemen,” Fury snaps, “if you’re going to have a pissing contest, do it on your own time. I’m not asking you to like each other or the God of Crazy, I’m asking if you’ll put on your big boy pants for five seconds, do what’s necessary, and work together.”