#that’s one problem with having thought about this series way more than i’ve posted about it

[skzfairyyydreamz]

Replaced? (Part 6)

Genre: Skz Smau, Text posts, Skz!Fic, Non!idolAu, Angst, Crack/humor, Mini series

Pairing: Bsf!skz, Fem!Reader, Bf!Felix, Stoner!Skz, Stoner!Reader

Warnings: !!Slow Build!! , Strong language (ofc!!) , Mentions of SA, Mentions of Alcohol, Mentions of smoking, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of fighting, Suggestive humor !!MDNI!!

Synopsis: Some people say friendship breakups hurt more than actually relationships .. and now y/n sees for herself why some friend groups are best kept separate

A/n: and we're back with another chapter of REPLACED? this chapter is definitely giving reality tv type MESSY and i LOVE it bc this is where the real angst starts to kick in. I know this fic was originally meant to be a text post series but i decided to add written parts as well to enhance the details! Chapter 6 is for sure a THICK and JUCIY one so buckle your seatbelts! Thank you all for sticking around and enjoying these silly little stories with me! hugs and kisses! MWAH!! 💋 xoxox <3 <3 <3 <3

© Skzfairyyydreamz - Plagiarism is a crime. Do not repost, alter, translate or copy without my consent.

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“Omg TYSM! can you guys just grab these and bring them up I have to piss like a fucking race horse!” 

“Yea yea go ahead we got it! ” Chris waved you off as you hoped out the cab doing your little pee pee dance.

Minho couldn’t help but to point and chuckle as he mocked the way you hoped from side to side like a little toddler who couldn’t hold their bladder. 

without any thought you quickly flicked him off almost like it was a reflex before you took off running up to your apartment building with the speed of light. “The doors open!” Changbin shouted behind you 

You didn’t even realize how quiet it was in your apartment until you came out of the bathroom. walking back towards the living room to check on everything…

“Oh hey there!” you heard from behind you in the far left corner of the room. “Ughhh ofc its him… obviously … just keep your Distance fuck boy” you think to yourself as you mentally roll your eyes before turning around To see Alex holding some plugs in in his hand. 

“Alex, hey!” You force a smile trying not to seem awkward (but failing miserably) “you all good, you got everything you need?” 

“Yeah yeah all good just finishing my set up now” he responded from behind the table with all his equipment as he plugged his last cord into his laptop. 

“Cool cool cool, perfect timing guests are about to start arriving any second.” 

“ nice .. you know I had no idea you were so close with the whole gang from work .. Chris, changbin, minho , jeongin.. you guys get along pretty well I assume.” 

“Oh Yeah we’ve all been super close for years! We’ve been friends Way before we even started working the club actually.” 

“wow.. for a long while huh? Would’ve never known” 

“Yeah.. that’s family ” you say with a soft smile of adoration “where is jeongin btw ? Is he in the back?” You turned on your heels heading towards your bedroom to quickly and smoothly escape this conversation you no longer wanted to be a part of. 

“No, he and his girlfriend went out to get more ice!” He yelled out before you could get far quickly dismissing your escape route “fuck!!” You thought to yourself. “Oh okay .. water?” You offered him as a distraction turning to walk towards the kitchen wanting to be as far away from him as possible. 

“Yeah sure” there was a few seconds of silence .. then he spoke again. “Listen ..thanks for booking me for this gig, I’ve only really been working the club the past few months so I appreciate you considering me.” He spoke out loud enough for you to hear him from the kitchen. 

“Oh it’s no problem, you do a pretty good set at work and everybody loves good music so why not?!” You force a chuckle trying to seem polite as you emerged from the kitchen walking over to hand him a bottle of water. 

And as if the way you felt his eyes shamelessly roaming your body wasn’t enough to make you want to die in that moment, it was like the energy in the room got more and more dense every time he opened his stupid mouth. 

You extend your arm out to give him the bottle of water and ofc instead of being a  normal person he grazes his warm clammy fingers across your hand before taking the water bottle from you “thanks” he says “ AHHHH EW EW EW I HATE MEN I HATE MENNNN WHY WOULD HE FUCKING DO THAT EW WHY CANT HE FUCKING BE NORMAL WTF??!” The inner voice in your head was crumbling with the ick. 

“Your outfit looks amazing btw ” he added make this moment even worse! at this point You genuinely would rather leap head first off your 7th floor balcony than stay in a room alone with him any longer. “DUDE WTF IS TAKING THE GUYS SO LONG OMFG !! GET ME OUT OF HERE!! ” your inner voice still raging with panic. He then grabs your hand and pulls you into a hug. “ ha thanks” you reply to his yucky compliment forcing yet another painful smile. “And you smell so good” he inhaled your scent (like the creep he is) almost whispering in you ear. He had a very strong grip and everything was happening so fast you barely had a chance to pull away or react.

his hand kept creeping around your lower back as he tried to pull your body closer into him. His hand then landing just on top of your ass as he full on groped you with no shame. And what made it even worse was that you were wearing a mini skirt. 

“Ew bitch wtf are doing!!?” You pushed him hard enough for him, a man twice your size and height to stumble backwards almost falling into his DJ equipment. Your fight or flight senses kicked in real fast. (Thank god)

“Wdym princess.. I thought you were feeling me?” he replied with a sly grin on his face like what he had just did was okay or some kind of funny joke. You were livid at this point. 

And without a thought or a second guess your hand came crashing down making contact with his face. The slap was so hard the sound echoed through the quiet living room. “You think this shit is fucking funny!? You’re about to be in a house with all my MALE best friends and my BOYFRIEND… you think it’s going to end well for you if I tell them you just sexually assaulted me??!” 

“Idk what you’re talking about pretty girl, I didn’t do anything” he let out a small malicious almost inaudible chuckle holding his face where you slapped him. You continued to look at him with pure rage and disgust. 

“ you’re fucking disgusting.” you turned away attempting to storm off but before you could even walk away..

“Cmon princess don’t be like that” 

“Shut tf up and do the job you were paid to do before I kick you out of my fucking house Alex! "

“Well yeah , you could kick me out but … what’s a party without music ?? And I mean .. you already paid me in advance so really it would just be a loose loose situation for you, no? ” he chuckled lightly as he mocked you with that menacing grin still lingering on his face. 

“Do the job you were paid for and Stop fucking talking to me before my boyfriend blacks your other eye!” 

“Boyfriend ?? do I know him??” He laughed out loud this time yet still holding his face where you slapped him. He was putting on such an unbothered douche bag persona but you could tell his face was definitely ringing.

“Use that tiny fucking brain of yours and figure it out” 

“ I know another way you could put all that feisty energy to good use”

“ oh bitch you’re playing with fire .. ” that stupid grin never once leaving his face had gotten under your skin so badly you just had to one up him.  “you’re disgusting you fucking pig!” You glared at him before fixing your mouth to spit in his face before Finally storming off away from him and into the kitchen.

Just as you turned your back to walk away Changbin and Minho walk through the door. 

“Sorry we took so long there was traffic on the elevators. Chris should be coming in right behind us” changbin said as they both walked to the island counter to set the cakes down. being as close as you were they both immediately knew something had happened. And they were definitely gonna find out what was wrong. 

The tension in the room was so thick it could be sliced with a knife. Minho and bin Just shared a suspicious and concerned look communicating with each other without ever having to speak a word. Carefully watching over you as you grabbed a shot glass from the cabinet and slammed it close. 

“ you okay squirt? ” Minho said watching you crack open a bottle of vodka as anger clearly oozed off of you. 

“Mhmm… you wanna drink? ” you try to deflect but your clenched jaw and very noticeable heavy breathing gave it away. You were not okay. In fact you were fuming.

Neither of them answered you, they just continued to read the room intuitively trying to figure out what had just went down in the spare of 10 minutes. You threw your first shot of the night back with urgency . Finally making eye contact with changbin. “ what happened??” He silently mouthed to you so Alex who was sitting across the room wouldn’t hear it. You shook your head trying to indicate “nothing” but the eye contact you held with him said something entirely different. After what happened , two of your very protective best friends being present with you brought you some comfort and You were finally able to slow down your breathing. 

You let out a loud sigh before removing yourself from the kitchen and walking towards the balcony "I need some fresh air” 

Minho, being the quiet observant one he continued to read the room until he saw it and let out an involuntary gasp. 

Changbin immediately snapping his head in his direction with furrowed eyebrows “WHAT!?” He silently mouthed once again. Minho just quickly pulled out his phone and started typing a text message and bin immediately understood also pulling out his phone…

“ sorry for the wait I’m back! And look who I founddddd” Chris’s voice come through the door 

“Familyyyyyy” Rachel poked her head through the door 

“Hey y’all heyyyy!! ” Olivia walked in behind her with jeongin and Sophie following, both of them holding bags of ice. 

"Heyyy!!" Changbin jumped up holding out both his arms inviting Felix’s sisters in for a hug

“No waaaaayyy!! Lix is going to be so happy to see you guys!!” Minho added

“Where is she??” Rachel asked after greating them both 

“Yeah where’s my sissy pie??” Olivia added 

“She’s out on the balcony getting some air” Minho pointed them into your direction 

The room was silent until the balcony door could be heard opening “watch this!” Chris grabbed everyone’s attention and then put a hand up to his ear just as you let out an extremely loud screech of excitement “AHHHHH STFUUUU UR JOKING??? YOU GUYS ACTUALLY MADE IT?!!!! ” and everyone burst into laughter.

Before you knew it your house was filled with all your friends and mutuals of your friend group everyone was chatting and catching up with each other in the mean time until the birthday boys arrived. Chris found you in the kitchen pouring yourself another drink. “Y/n you did such a good job! Look everyone is already enjoying themselves! ”

“Yeah we seemed to pull it off perfectly huh?” 

 “Is something wrong?? Whats the long face kiddo??” 

“It’s nothing ”

“ You know you can’t lie to me y/n ” he replied standing up straight from where he was leaning against the counter across from you and slowly pulled you into a warm hug. “What’s the matter hmm?” He added as he rubbed your back. 

“Idk I just feel stupid .. and violated, it’s whatever I’ll feel better when Lix gets here”

“violated!? Y/n did somebody here do something to you bc I’ll handle that shit” he responded quickly pulling back to look you in the eyes making sure that you understood he was serious. “No no Chris it’s okay I’m keeping it chill for the sake of the party we can talk about it later” 

“Y/N … what. Happened.” He said more sternly in his fatherly tone.

“Tell me. I’ll handle it right now.” 

“Chris not now.. please?” You looked up at him with pleading almost teary eyes “ we’ll talk, I promise” there was a moment of silence between you two as you waited for him to trust you and agree to the promise you were making him. You and Chris had a special type of friendship and you understood each other well.

“… I promise.” You repeated as he wiped away the single tear sliding down your face. He didn’t verbally say anything he just nodded and pulled you back into a tight hug. You squeezed him back glancing over his shoulder almost physically cringing at the sight of Alex still eyeing you from across the room. You just tucked your head into his chest trying your best to relax in your best friends arms almost like a baby hiding from a Scary monster

“ OKAY OKAY EVERYONE PLACES!! PLACESSS!!! THE BOYS ARE ON THEIR WAY UP!” 

“ I ’ll get the lights!! ” Minho jumped up to turn all the lights out as everyone started to scramble to their feet making sure to hide behind something or someone. 

The apartment was so quiet you heard exactly when the boys stepped off the the elevator loud laughter surrounding them as always. 

“Ouu I hear them!” Olivia said 

“Omg they’re cominggg shhh shhhh ” you whisper shouted with anticipation. 

“Go in, Y/n said the door is open” you heard Hyunjins voice as they neared the apartment door. 

“K, cool” Jisung spoke before turning the door Knob and pushing the door open … 

“SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” 

The party had slowly begun to come to and end.  Some guests starting to grab their jackets and head out while others were still mingling and some even passed out drunk in various areas of the house. “Chris we’ll be right back we’re just gonna walk Liv and Rach down stairs!” 

 “Yeah yeah no problem ” he responded while giving both you and Lix the ���help me” side eye. Jeongin had been passed out drunk for the passed 2 hour and Sophie.. in her natural weird bitch fashion, has been following Chris around ever since.  “We’ll be super fast” you whispered to him while speeding out the door. 

“Y/n We had such a good time sissy pie!” Olivia said “we really did!” Rachel added. 

“Yay! I’m so happy you were able to make it it’s been so long since we seen you guys !” 

“ my head is still spinning , no way you actually got my sisters to fly out here from Australia just to surprise me for my birthday! ” Lix shook his head at you in disbelief but his big brown eyes were filled with love and admiration. “ anything for my little nugget!” Rachel interrupted hugging her younger brother.

“yeah we missed you heaps, Lix” Olivia added grabbing them both into a group hug. You just watched with a huge smile on your face quickly grabbing your phone to snap a picture of the precious moment without them even realizing.

“You deserve to be celebrated and surrounded by love hun.. especially for your birthday.” He then walked over pulling you into a tight squeeze “ and you .. my love, deserve to get your back blown out” he whispered in your ear so his sisters wouldn’t hear. You looked up at him with a giggle “is that a promise, pretty boy?”

“ it could be” he smirked back “ well, actually it can’t be bc there is a black out drunk jeongin upstairs in my bed right now”

“He can watch” Felix grinned playful raising his eyebrows up and down. “Ew Lix, behave!” You hit his shoulder as You both laughed out loud. 

“Our hotel is only about 20 minutes from here, so we can just walk” Rachel’s voice grabbed your attention away from each other.

“No way!” “Absolutely not!” You and Felix both practically scolded her simultaneously. 

“ it’s after 4 am you’re not walking anywhere this time of night! ” Felix spoke in his protective voice his tone dropping an octave as if Rachel wasn’t HIS older sister 😂

“It’s alright babes I already ordered you guys an Uber , I think that’s it pulling up right now!” You added 

“Ugh such sweethearts, I told you these two were meant to be together!” Olivia smiled to Rachel as you all hugged once more and said your goodbyes before heading back into your apartment building.

“You ..” Felix turned you around to face him putting his finger through your belt loop and pulling you into him once you stepped onto the empty elevator.

“Me??” You smirked batting your long fluffy lashes at him “innocently” flirted back with your boyfriend.

“Yes you..” he pressed your body into his placing his finger under your chin “you have no idea how in love with you I am”

“idk .. I think I might have an idea” you whispered back wrapping your arms around his neck smoothly leaning in for a kiss which quickly and effortlessly turned into a mini make out session. Your hands tangled in the back of his hair, his free hand squeezing your ass. So lost in your tipsy bliss you barely noticed the elevator stopping at your floor.

Felix’s teeth softly biting and pulling at your bottom lip earning himself a not so quiet moan to escape your lips as the elevator door opened. Pulling away slowly from each other regaining focus is when you realized that someone was standing there watching you two.

Turning around to see none other than Alex. Your energy entirely shifted once you saw his face as if his presence just irritated your whole soul and spirit (and it did!) you let out a loud sigh and sarcastic tight smile (on purpose this time!)

“Finally heading out?” “Uhh yeah….” Alex responded. putting his head down trying his best to avoid eye contact with felix.

“Perfect!” You said rolling your eyes giving him the nastiest resting bitch face. You grabbed Felix’s hand walking out the elevator bumping passed him with Felix close behind you giving him a death glare of his own. 

“Babe..” Felix nudged trying to get your attention once he knew alex was gone. “hmm?” You responded avoiding eye contact because you knew exactly where this convo was headed.

“Babe wait! Stop walking, look at me? ” he pulled your arm to get you to turn around and face him. 

“Hmm?” You repeated, hesitantly looking up at him

“baby what was that?” “What do you mean??” 

“Listen you know I don’t like that bitch.. and I understand if you’re doing the whole my boyfriend doesn’t like you, so I don’t like you either thing.. but that felt like a whole different type of animosity. What’s going on? ” 

“Lix it’s nothing ” you said reaching to pull your keys out of your pocket as a distraction. 

He gently grabbed your chin raising your head to make eye contact with you again “princess ..  I know it’s something. I’m not gonna pressure you but you just say it the word and I’ll beat that fuckers ass again you hear me? ”  

You nodded as he left a kiss on your forehead. “I’m not shutting you out Lix , I  just want to end tonight on a good note okay? 

 “I get it.. whenever you’re ready princess” he said giving you one last forehead kiss before walking back into your apartment. 

“Yo yo yo what are you doing??!..” was the first thing you heard as you opened the door to your apartment. You and Felix Looked at each other in suspicious confusion. “Aw Chris c'mon you’re no fun.. ” you heard Sophie’s voice coming from the kitchen as well. you rushed over to see what was going on. And nothing on gods green earth could have possibly prepared you for what you had just saw. 

Standing at the entrance of your kitchen you could not believe your eyes as Sophie literally threw herself at Chris, grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him. You and Felix both frozen with your mouths hanging open in utter shock. You all were aware of the shady disgusting person Sophie was but this was a new level even for her! Chris reacted before you could even say or do anything. 

“Bro Wtf is wrong with you!?” He raised his voice as he pushed her off of him. “You’re literally dating my best friend have some goddamn decorum for fuck sake!” 

Still neither of them had realized you and Felix were standing there until you opened your mouth to speak “ oh my fucking god” you said just above a whisper almost as if you were trying to confirm what you were seeing was real and not just some drunken fever dream.

Their heads snapped in your direction and Felix swiftly tried grabbing your hand to calm you down. He definitely knew you were extremely close to loosing your shit at any given moment at this point. And ofc within milliseconds You we’re snatching your hand away from him charging towards Sophie with boiling blood pumping through your veins

"“ HOW FUCKIN DARE DO THIS TO HIM!" You grabbed the nearest liquor bottle off the counter attempting to throw it at her. Felix swooping in grabbing you and picking you up from behind as chris tried to snatch the bottle from your hand. Both of them failing with the amount of rage that was pumping through your body. But luckily for Sophie the glass bottle missed her head by an inch and hit the wall behind her. “JEONGIN LOVES YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS SOPHIE!?” 

“ Omg did you just throw that bottle at me??!! What is wrong with you, you’re a fucking psychopath!!! you're crazy!” 

Hearing all the commotion and shattering glass Minho and changbin came rushing out from the balcony to see what was going on. 

“ I told yo stupid ass months ago if you ever hurt him that I was gonna dog walk you bitch and I mean that shit! ” 

“Y/n it’s not even like that!” 

“Shut tf up i just watched you kiss Chris after he told you NO! Don’t tell me it not like that when you’re in my kitchen feeling up on another guy when the man who is madly in love with you is passed out drunk in the next room! "

She just stood there stunned looking stupid and tipsy as she realized she got caught. 

“You’re a compulsive liar and horrible friend! I’ve been wanting to beat your ass for so long now but I held out for my best friends sake. I regret ever introducing you to each other and I pray to god he starts to see you for who you really are!” 

“Y/n-” 

“Get your shit and get tf out of my house before I beat the living shit out of you! Delete my number and you better hope I never catch you out in the street bc unlike some people I AM a woman of my word.” 

“Touch me and I’d gladly press assault charges.” 

“Idgaf Bitch I would GLADLY go to jail for beating your ass!”

“Don’t test me y/n” 

“WASSUP HOE!! TRY ME!!! I FUCKING DARE YOU!!!! ” You started raging once again grabbing yet ANOTHER liquor bottle off the counter. This one being bigger and alot heavier Chris and Felix immediately rushed you out the kitchen saving your house from becoming crime scene as Minho and Changbin stepped in to escort Sophie out of the house. 

Taglist: @hanniemylovelyquokka @milknhoneyracha @tinyelfperson @jiisungllvr @imastraykidsfan@simpracha @turtledove824  @laylasbunbunny  @armystay89  @eclipsemina @4ln-stay8@aalexyuuuhm @scribblesnsketches05 @amarecerasus @euphoric-univers @stellasays45 @night-storm7 @vixensss @blossomlilly @jc003 @hanniesbubuwife @beccaskz@soyeonbean @kawaiijellyfishtimetravelr @chuuyaobsessed @estella-novella @gabriellamarie@livelaughloveskzmwah @thatshroomiegirl @flowerbunnii @whoa-jo @babygirlskz98@leftenemydestiny 

@dazzlingjade @hyuneyeon @nightmarenyxx

(plz lmk if you would like to be removed or added)

[seonghwaddict]

ateez fic recs!

🧸 lilo’s notes! here is a collection of works that i loved and thought everyone should read! works marked with a bear emoji are some of my favs. i’ll be updating the list, of course. this list contains both sfw and nsfw content, minors please interact accordingly.

hongjoong

he’s kinda hot — @ohmyamor

“After a decent run with your boyfriend, you finally decide to end it when his paranoia becomes too much. Except, maybe he wasn’t crazy. And now you have demon who refuses to leave you alone.”

demon!hongjoong, fem!reader, fluff, slight angst, please see content warning before reading, suggestive

lilo’s notes! i absolutely love demon!atz aus and i can testify that this is definitely one of my favs. everything about this was absolutely fantastic and i may or may not revisit it every few weeks

you’re hongjoong’s bias — @jnginlov

“when you and your group go on idol radio to promote your latest comeback, you don’t anticipate one of the hosts to be completely enraptured by you”

idol au, fluff, gn!reader

lilo’s notes! listen… idol aus are usually not my cup of tea (though several fics on here prove that wrong), but this is absolutely one of the cutest things i’ve read.

seonghwa

new horizons — @fivestar-outlaw

“Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.”

completed series, FLUFF, idol!hwa x nonidol!fem!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! EEEEEEE THIS FIC IS SO CUTEEEEEE

🧸 honest (but happy) accident — @ad0rechuu

uni student!hwa, gn!reader, fluff, slice of life

lilo’s notes! y’all are gonna get so sick of me cuz you’re gonna see multiple of zero’s fics on here. jokes aside, this is genuinely so fucking cute i was rolling around and giggling while reading it.

🧸 12:25 time of love — @jaehunnyy

kindergarten teacher!hwa, mom!reader, meet cute, fluff

lilo’s notes! imagining seonghwa in a job like that genuinely makes me so soft. whenever i’m in that Emotional mood i like to read this.

🧸 impressionism — @hwaightme

“a post-graduate student specialising in impressionism, you were a regular visitor to the many art galleries in the city. who knew that among the paintings you would encounter your favourite, timeless work of art?”

vampire!gallerist!hwa x art historian!gn!reader, fluff, soulmates

lilo’s notes! as an art history nerd, this fic is so beautiful especially when combined with a vampire au like AHHHH some of my fav things in one fic

yunho

early hours — @honeyhotteoks

“you run into him in the hallway of the hotel, it's late and you're exhausted from the concert, but he thinks you should grab a drink and you can't help but agree”

idol!yunho x nonidol!fem!reader, one night stand, nsfw, some fluff

lilo’s notes! HDJSJDJSJKF the way this had me glued to my phone and giggling should be studied.

🧸 principia and opticks — @bro-atz

“you're struggling with a specific class that's required for your major; but, luckily, your professor, professor jeong, has no problem helping you out outside of class” // “you and professor jeong yunho decided to continue your relationship secretly, only to almost get caught one day”

professor!yunho x student!reader (legal), nsfw, fluff

lilo’s notes! don’t judge me but i think professor x student (COLLEGE. LEGAL.) is such a good trope it’s always gonna have me running laps around my room.

bottle service — @bro-atz

“all yunho wants to do is fuck the bottle girl's brains out.”

big dick!yunho x small!afab!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! i have nothing to say for myself other than size kinks are hot. even more so when it’s related to yunho

christmas dinner — @a1sh1teruu

“it didn't just end with one dinner.”

ceo!yunho x secretary!fem!reader, fluff

lilo’s recs! THIS WAS WRITTEN FOR ME AGHHHHHHHH i love it so much i think about it at least once a week

🧸 summer nights — @honeyhotteoks

“he's your best friend and roommate, but during the heat of summer and the confinement of quarantine, you just can't seem to help yourselves.”

roommate!yunho, nsfw, fluff

lilo’s notes! i reread this yesterday and realised there’s a sequel. TRUST i will be devouring that as soon as i can

track 3: cyber sex — @highvern

whipped loser!yunho x camgirl!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! STOPPIJDIDJ yunho was so cute and shy in this i wanted to scream into a pillow

yeosang

🧸 lessons in intimacy — @honeyhotteoks

“you didn’t mean to actually meet the man who’s audio porn was single handedly getting you off every night, but you do”

camboy!yeo, nsfw, fluff

lilo’s notes! absolute perfection this was so sjsjjcjsjd i could feel myself slowly losing my mind

evolve — @nebulousbrainsoup

“more often than not, a life lived in Night City is carefully crafted, slotted firmly between preapproved lines—or it is if you value keeping it. whispers of freedom float just beyond the city's neon lights, and it's only through a chance encounter with the most unlikely of characters that you finally start to hear them.”

biker!yeosang x fem!reader, fluff, nsfw, some angst

lilo’s notes! despite it being 12k words i gobbled it up in a single sitting which is crazy tbh, it didn’t feel that long at all and i was so invested

san

🧸 prelude in e minor — @bro-atz

“your brain tells you to focus on your education, but your heart tells you to focus on professor choi”

professor!san, CELLIST!san, nsfw, angst

lilo’s notes! back at it with the professor aus yupppp y’all know me so well. i felt so many emotions while reading this i thought i was gonna go insane.

mingi

🧸 slowly, i’m going down — @yutasbellybuttonpiercing

“mingi hates studying, but what he hates way more than that is being perceived as stupid. what mingi loves on the other hand, are pretty people getting flustered about his voice or mingi shows you exactly what he hates and loves.”

college au, tutor!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! not only was this written so well, but it was so fucking entertaining. mingi is just so silly in this i love it.

angel eyes — @binniesbang

“Yunho teases Mingi when he trips over his words infront of a girl, he needs a little loving to make it better:((“

coffee shop au, fluff, comfort

lilo’s notes! AHHHHHHHH sobbing crying screaming this was so cute and soft i love this mingi

🧸 untitled — @teasteeper

“kissing practice with your best friend mingi”

best friend!mingj x fem!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! GRRRSGHDJDJD OH MY GOD mingi you ain’t slick at all- anyways, my turn when?

wooyoung

ribbon — @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

“You just love Wooyoung's dick, and maybe you wanted to make it look pretty like it truly is.”

daddy!wooyoung, nsfw

lilo’s notes! they be fucking but somehow it’s so??? cute?? really enjoyed this one 10/10

spiderman! — @cherrysoojins

“being spider-man comes with a lot advantages, but those advantages can have their disadvantages. like jung wooyoung not being able to show up to study groups to be able to see the girl he’s crushing on big-time.”

spiderman!wooyoung, smau + written, fluff, angst, crack. ongoing(?) series, last updated: july 7th, 2023

lilo’s notes! this was actually such a cute and fun fic and i really wished there were more chapters :c

backstage rockin’ — @a1sh1teruu

“after a late night of practice with the band, and with you lounging in the background. when his friends finally left, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself any longer.”

bandmate!wooyoung, nsfw

lilo’s notes! i think this was THE fic that awakened my love for bassists, that’s how good it was. zerda’s writing always has me giggling

jung wooyoung’s superpower — @ad0rechuu

best friend!wooyoung, fluff fluff fluff

lilo’s notes! ik i’ve probably said this a lot but this is ACTUALLY one of the cutest fics i’ve ever read i adore it so much

🧸 i’m just bein’ curious — @teeskz

“in which your friend wooyoung invites you over for a movie night”

pervy best friend!woooyung, nsfw

lilo’s notes! it’s short but if i said this didnt awaken something in me, i’d be lying. i reread it this morning and that’s what made me start this rec list

jongho

🧸 adorable — @i-luvsang

frenemy!jongho, gn!reader one bed trope, fluff, comedy

lilo’s notes! AHHHHH I LOVE RIA’S WRITING SO SO SO MUCH fluff by ria is genuinely so djdjdjsjd it’s got me giggling

untitled — @nateezfics

nsfw, fluff

lilo’s notes! i’m sorry but idc if they’re going at it, it’s so cute and soft?? they’re just so silly

multi

🧸 milky way — @ad0rechuu

“It’s not everyday that your friends childhood friend turns out to be the girl that you literally have a fan account for, but for Seonghwa, San and Mingi it’s become a reality. being able to get close to your bias is great! even if she does have a raging crush on someone else…”

fanboys!hwasangi x idol!reader, smau + written, fluff, angst, suggestive, slow burn. completed series, 60 chapters + 3 different endings

lilo’s notes! i will never not be grateful that this series exists. it’s funny, cute, and angsty and i absolutely love it with my whole heart. i think it’s one of the first fics i read on tumblr, so it’s really special to me + i think this was part of the reason i got close to my lovely zero

🧸 blurred lines and lies — @yuyusuyu

the synopsis is really long

best friend!yeosang x fem!reader x best friend!jongho, love triangle, romance, slice of life, angst. completed series, 10 chapters + 2 different endings

lilo’s notes! words cannot describe how i felt reading this but i think it’s comparable to going through every stage of grief possible plus more. genuinely, one of the best fics i’ve ever read

strawberry mocha — @pirateprincessblog

“your favorite café has a new barista, and he seems oddly familiar, especially when you see his hands move when he prepares your favourite beverage”

barista!camboy!wooyoung x fem!reader, ft yunho, nsfw, angst

lilo’s notes! my thought process while reading was a cycle of “oh my god” and “what the fuck” in the BEST way possible. the writing is so good i wanted to reach through the screen a smack some characters, and hug some others

clair de lune — @atzfilm

“you’ve finally gotten the chance to enter “clair de lune”, a infamous night club to see the band hiraeth. but why did you feel like their eyes only watched you?”

yandere!ot8 x fem!reader, angst, fluff, nsfw. completed series, 8 chapters.

lilo’s notes! so iconic. if you haven’t read this, you better and that’s a threat.

murphy’s law — @atzfilm

“according to murphy’s law, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Black holes circle each other until they collide and merge, a cataclysm so fierce, sends ripples soaring through the fabric, crossing thousands of kilometers within a fraction of a second, leaving behind a wave on the space-time continuum. That’s the simplest way you can describe meeting him. And yet, even that is an understatement.”

alien!ot8, multi x fem!reader (not ot8), soulmate au, fluff, angst, nsfw, check other warnings. completed series, 5 chapters.

lilo’s notes! another iconic fic by an iconic writer, we love to see it

mists of celeste — @hongism

“Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.”

space pirate!ateez, multiple pairings, angst, fluff, nsfw, check other warnings. ongoing series, 49 chapters + additional content

lilo’s notes! i’m pretty sure everyone on tumblr who reads atz fics has seen this one at some point and it definitely deserves its hype. this is probably one of the best, well thought-out fics i’ve ever read and i believe it can definitely be considered better than many published books

🧸 hotel california and paradise gardens — @mint-yooxgi

“You can check out any time you’d like, but you can never leave.” // “Eternity means nothing if I don’t have you.”

yandere!demon!ot8 x fem!reader, horror, fluff, angst, nsfw, check other warnings. complete fic, 42 chapters combined

lilo’s notes! yeah i reread this every few months and i’m not ashamed to admit i’m obsessed with it.

outlaw miniseries — @hongism

individual parts for each member/unit, nsfw with a side of fluff and angst. ongoing series, 4/6 chapters

lilo’s notes! hi no i won’t shut up about hongism i think ive read everything she’s published and if i didn’t want to make this list diverse i would’ve just put a link to her masterlist and called it a day. seriously, highly recommended. my fav on this is the 2ho one.

from storm to sunrise — @ad0rechuu

“you and your boyfriend yunho wake up to find your other boyfriend mingi no where to be found”

fem!reader x bfs!yuyu and mingi, fluff, mild angst

lilo’s notes! zero try not to write something i’ll fall in love challenge, go! oh no you already failed because everything by user ad0rechuu is a masterpiece

🧸 hooked — @songmingisthighs

“A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your ‘relationship’ led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you?”

ot8 x fem!reader, smau + written, college au, fluff, crack, nsfw. completed series, 91 chapters

lilo’s notes! this is also one of the first fics i read on tumblr!! it’s definitely one of my all-time favs and it’s just such a fun read

🧸 unconventional first encounters with ateez — @bluehwale

ot8 headcanon, fluff, humour

lilo’s notes! i also reread this occasionally, the humour tag really is accurate

hongwooho — @yourfatherlucifer

idols!hongjoong, wooyoung, jongho x fem!reader, nsfw

lilo’s notes! the first time i read this (and all the times after that) i was giggling and rolling around on my bed. this kind if scenario is something i’d LOVE LOVE LOVE to see more of

sway with me — @luvt0kki

“former noble turned space pirate, wooyoung was now part of one of the most revered and hunted group of pirates of the galaxy. sure he’s only known them for six months but there’s only so much you could do in a ship when you travel from one planet to the next. the ship was their home, his home… and the members of this crew were friends that he felt he was fated to meet. // but he hasn’t met one person of the crew… and he didn’t know that.”

ot8 x fem!reader, space pirate au, nsfw, fluff. ongoing series, 5/?? chapters + 1 interlude

lilo’s notes! i gobbled the posted chapters up in a single sitting and it was honestly sososo good 10/10 recommend. i can definitely see this being added to my favs as soon as it’s done!

🧸 ¡arriba! — @teeskz

“being a bookworm, you’re used to your regular schedule of simply studying, eating, oh, and the occasional sleeping. it isn’t until one night, you find yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time, and soon get swept up in one of the craziest games you’ve ever heard. in hindsight, maybe you should’ve declined. but it was only supposed to last for one night. one, dirty night.”

hongjoong, yunho, san, mingi, wooyoung x fem!reader, college au, nsfw, part of a series (“T!TS UP”)

lilo’s notes! NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND I WAS GAGGEDDDDDD the way i had to pause multiple times to cool off while reading this it was so hot and something i didn’t know i needed in my life until i found it

[billy-cockblock]

SWTD Theory

Still Wakes the Deep has been a huge brainworm for me the past few weeks, so I wanted to make a post with one of my takes. Someone’s probably thought of this already, but I can’t find anything about it, so here I go. 

I’m gonna take this time to shout out a little sub theory of mine that plays a bit of a part in my main point. 

For a little background, in populations of organisms, there are limiting factors on their growth and spread. Think of it as a series of funnels of different sizes: the rate of liquid that can flow through is going to be determined by the narrowest funnel. For example. if there’s a population that has ample food, space, and whatever else it needs, but has a restricted access to water, that water is going to limit how large that population could grow.

Before the Shape was dug up by the drill, it was probably dormant in the sea bed, doing its best to survive, the same as any other organism. Down where it was dark, wet, and cold, I think it had one main limiting factor: oxygen.

I don’t think the Shape can efficiently exchange gas underwater. Most of the untouched bodies Caz sees are only underwater, where an organism that thrives in air would struggle to access. Once it gets dug up and brought to air with plenty of organic matter to consume and grow with, its population explodes. When a limiting factor is removed, there’s nothing holding the population back any more until they hit a new limit. The Shape’s old limiting factor was removed, and it would only stop reproducing by running out of space to grow on the rig, running out of organic matter to use, or being killed (like, say, in a giant fiery explosion).

(I could go on and on about how the Shape potentially works, please feel free to ask me about it)

Now, I’ll get to my main theory:

I think Caz was dead the whole time.

Now, I don’t mean that in a “the whole game is in his head, none of it was real” way; I mean it in a “this man got Ethan Winters’ed” way. 

So, I started to do a little research into how tall oil rigs are to know how far Caz would have fallen off the helipad. I quickly learned there are many types of oil rigs and not every oil rig of the same type is the same size. I’m studying marine biology, not petroleum engineering like my brother, so I got tired of trying to guesstimate how tall the Bierra D’s helipad would be and attacked the problem with some simple math. 

Watching a video, I saw he fell for between 4-5 seconds; the acceleration due to gravity is 9.8m/s^2. Plugging that in a calculator while not accounting for air resistance to solve for distance gets me ~80-120m, depending on if I used the 4 or 5 second count, so I’ll guess around 100m. I’ve found many conflicting sources on what the tallest heights you can safely fall into water are, but I can safely tell you that 100m is much higher than any of them. 

Now, maybe the devs weren’t going with the mathematical exact timing it would take for a guy to fall off an oil rig, and didn’t mean for it to be implied that he fell from THAT high. Still, we can agree he fell from very high up, high enough to have likely ended in injury. Maybe he’d just fall on and break a leg? Maybe an arm or some ribs?

After falling off the rig, the last frame before Caz blacks out shows the water at the top of the screen, meaning he hits the water head-first. He may be wearing a hard hat (that somehow stays on his head through the whole ordeal since he clips his flashlight to it), but he still should have cracked his skull open or broken his neck. 

When they pull him out of the water, he’s cold and not breathing, which wouldn’t be unusual for a drowning victim in the North Sea in the dead of winter, but it would usually be a death sentence. They never explain how they dragged Caz out of the water, but it would presumably have taken a long time to get him out, and time is key when dealing with someone who isn’t breathing. The fact that he’s able to cough up water and start breathing on his own is a miracle, since it doesn’t sound like Brodie or Douglas do CPR when they bring him inside.

So, fall damage, head and/or spine injury, drowning, and hypothermia. By several different factors, Caz should be a very, very dead man. So why isn’t he?

My theory is that, somehow, somewhy, the infection from The Shape healed and brought him back to life. We know for a fact it has amazing generative properties, basically able to double, triple, quadruple the amount of tissue and organic matter in the crew’s bodies with no regard for conservation of mass, so what’s just a little regeneration of damaged tissues in a single body? Once Caz’s body gets someplace with better conditions suited to life (inside where it’s warm and there’s air), it just jumpstarts his body functions. The Shape’s presumably been dormant in the seafloor for a long time, so it could be able to go dormant and kinda “come back to life” as conditions change, similar to a tardigrade, and potentially pass this ability onto its hosts.

And Caz mentions how his head hurts a lot, especially when he gets close to the Shape. 

Now, this might seem like baseless conjecture, and y’all might say “That’s a good headcanon, but there’s no evidence that The Shape could bring people back to life!” to which I would say “Oh, but there might be!"

After the helicopter on the starboard side, we get a call from Bruce, who is actively drowning. Through his gasps, he tells us that O’Connor hurt his leg and couldn’t swim, presumably drowning. And guess who we see still kicking as we’re passing through the pontoon? My thought is that O’Connor couldn’t swim, drowned, and drifted to the bottom, landing on a part of the shape. Once Caz and Brodie start working in the legs and they drain, it exposes him to air and allows the shape to start growing again, assimilating him and bringing him back to life. 

Obviously, he’s not doing as well as Caz is. My thought was that, if Caz died as he was infected, the infection would’ve had to put a lot of its energy into bringing him back, not leaving much for itself to begin assimilating him into the Shape. Since O’Connor was in direct contact with the Shape, it could hook him up to its network to help supplement that loss. Caz, meanwhile, stays as far away from the stuff as he can and doesn’t even get anything to eat all day; guy's running on empty. He has small things where the Shape affects him, like the colors at the edge of his vision, but most of his hallucinations only happen after the Shape attacks him through O’Connor. Before, I’m pretty sure the largest incident (other than when he’s blacked out) is when we can barely hear Suze’s voice over the speakers when moving through the pontoon. It’s really only after getting attacked that he starts to hear her when he’s awake, near the Shape, or over phone calls. He only hears her clearly over the speakers in administration after he runs into the shape many times when he gets swept away in the flooding.

With my main evidence out of the way, I’ll also mention that Caz sees the “light at the end of the tunnel” from the end of the game in the oil flashes when he blacks out.

But hey, that’s just a theory. 

A GAME TH- I have received a cease and desist.

Man, this became a long read. Thanks for getting this far, and I hope you enjoyed!

[wisecreatorprofessorwolf]

So this is going to be my very first fic on here, I’m a little nervous but kind of excited I hope you like it

Series X-Men

Remy lebeau Gambit x male reader

(Y/N) couldn’t shake the feeling something was going to happen, for years he’s trusted and honed his senses and they’ve always been wright. This was not good it was the worst sensation (Y/N) had ever felt.

Standing alone in the corner of the dimly lit room full of friends. This should be a good day, no a great day the celebration of Scott and Jeans wedding. But the feeling persists. Y/N wanders the room recognising friends and family from fellow mutants to politicians.

Y/N shuffling through the crowd of people, glass in hand, dressed to the nines for this beautiful event. Wanting nothing more than to figure out what is going to happen and wanting the room to swallow him whole, bumps into someone deep in thought he feels a pair of hands firmly planted on his shoulders. “Woah there mon ami where’s the fire”.

Y/N, startled out his thoughts bumping into his best friend could only blush “no fire, just thinking that’s all Remy” Remy was observant enough to know his friend was troubled by something, but also knows not to push Y/N’s his best friend, his wingman and his confidant.

Recently though there have been changes in this companionship the rest of the x-men had noticed the only ones to know why are the telepaths Jean Grey Summers and Charles Xavier. Jean and Charles sharing knowing glances at the pair knowing the two men and their feelings.

The changes began a month ago when Remy had started spending more time with Y/N than Rogue. The reason behind that being for a long time things between Remy and Rogue becoming more complex leading the couple to separate, when Remy had a talk with Rogue about how things had changed and they should move on.

Remy for a while now had developed feelings for his best friend Y/N, finally single he has wanted to explore these feelings and could only hope that Y/N feels the same. “Y/N you’re actually the person I was looking for”. Y/N could only look like a deer in headlights “don’t worry mon cheri, I just thought we could talk, I want to tell you something mon amour” Y/N could only blush more noticing the change from dear to love all Y/N. Outdoor think was “does Remy know oh no” Y/N was sweating bullets panicking, Remy ever observant notices Y/N start to look around the room almost wanting to escape.

Remy leading Y/N out of the room celebrating the newly weds “breath Y/N mon cheri it’s nothing bad but it’s important” Y/N was all to focused on Remy’s hand in his as he guided him out the room “ Y/N have you noticed how different the mansion has been recently”

“Well I noticed during the wedding planning Jean was relaxed and Scott was the bridezilla” with a laugh.

“No mon cheri I meant between us”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been spending more time with me, there’s been a tense atmosphere between you and Rogue, is the.”

“We broke up, I started noticing problems in the relationship and we decided to end things we deserve to be happy, right mon amour” Remy interrupted

Y/N was yet again startled as he feels Remy’s lips meet his, it was slow and sensual like electricity coursing through your whole being. Y/N felt arms tighten round his body as the kiss deepens.

“I’m sorry bout that mon cheri, I had wanted to do that for a while now babe, I wanted to tell you that I have feelings for you and want to explore them. What do you think mon Cheri would you explore this with me”.

Y/N couldn’t believe it stunned, Remy had actually felt the same way “I want to explore this too Remy you have no idea how long I’ve had feeling for you for” he leans in for a kiss. There lips meeting in a sensual dance sharing of feelings.

“Well then mon amour let’s make up for all that time shall we”.

The end

This was my very first fic that I’ve posted, wow 😯 I’m nervous and excited feel free to like, repost and comment

[clairedaring]

why is ming such an interesting character - a thoughtful essay originally posted in the my stand-in mdl comments section

By MDL user Liltsu (reposting with permission from OP, just added some gifs to illustrate OP's points) - original comment link

Probably an incoming unpopular opinion ahead (read with caution lol, disclaimer that I am not attempting to justifying Ming's wrongdoings to Joe, more so trying to understand for myself and anyone else why I find his character so interesting):

Am I the only one who doesn’t hate Ming, and wouldn’t consider it to be a sad ending if Ming and Joe ended up together? At least as of now, especially from what I’ve seen currently and how I can imagine the direction the rest of the series might take. Let me expand.

For context, I went into this drama not expecting very much, and felt extremely sceptical of the trope of the ‘stand-in’ it uses, because one of my pet peeves in romance dramas is the ‘transfer’ phenomenon. If you haven’t heard that term before, it’s basically a psychological term about how a person (let’s call them A) will ‘imprint’ on someone else (person B). So to have a ‘transfer’ regarding someone else, for example, would mean that person A might have liked a person in the past (person C), and then meet someone new (person B) who resembles that person (C) in some way, and purely because of that, person A starts to also like or believe that they genuinely like person B. The problem with transfers is that they typically are rooted in a person’s (A) unwillingness to let go of the past person, and don’t truly love/hate (whatever emotion it is) the new person (B). This drama, reverses that trope.

This will link to why I find Ming’s bond with Joe to be more genuine than I’ve seen be believed on here (just based on a few comments tbf). My theory is that, ironically, it was Tong all along that was Joe’s metaphorical stand-in from the start. Why? We see a short flashback of Ming going to the cinemas and seeing the ad/clip of ‘Tong’s’ back, doing a martial arts scene, but we only see his back. That very shot/scene is what made Ming feel entranced by Tong and motivated him to seek Tong out with his sister for an autograph. He even mentions it himself to Tong. However, I believe that the ‘back’ that Ming saw, was Joe’s and not Tong’s. Ming « fell in love » with Joe’s acting/aura/presence on the screen first, but mistook him for Tong who is the ‘known’ actor of the film he saw. So all along, his feelings for Tong are somewhat illusory, and obsessive. Tong, who in my opinion gets off of happily at the notion of someone being infatuated with him, simply strings Ming along (and uses him), as we’ve seen.

In my opinion, Tong represents the side of Ming that was raised in a classist, materialistic family that rather obsesses about ‘spectacle’, in a way that harms Ming in the long-term. That kind of lifestyle or way of life makes him petty, distrustful, overtly and unreasonably jealous, and aggressive. Behaviours that manifest very evidently when Ming sees Joe with Sol, but particularly in correlation to scenes in which his affinity for Tong has been strengthened (Tong only sharpens the conditioning Ming has been raised through, that of being sceptical and always needing things to go his way, and fuels this, either by being in his direct company or feeding him seeds of doubt indirectly). Tong represents attachment and obsession but not love. Particularly the scene in which Ming renders Joe unconscious and keeps him captive is the most blatant example of Tong’s influence, which brings out all of the qualities of Ming that reflect the wealthy and entitled background he is born from and still lives off from.

Ming’s interest in Joe is different in my opinion, and the series carefully points to this in a nuanced way. If my theory is correct about Ming having been drawn to Joe first, rather than Tong, and the feelings that were initially meant for Joe came to be directed toward Tong (and became twisted due to that fact), we can assume that Ming’s feelings for Joe are more…instinctual. They awaken something in Ming. And to me this is perfectly shown in their first interactions: Ming hugs Joe from behind, believing he is Tong, but if my guess turns out to be true, he subconsciously went toward Joe and embraced him with the original feelings that he felt at the cinema (when he truly ‘first’ saw him), rather than the other way around, which the series makes us believe at first glance. Then, in their interactions after, Ming is consciously reluctant to open up to Joe (showcasing the walls he has up, even toward Tong), but is still intuitively interested in Joe, wants to be around him, and cares about what he is up to. In my opinion, he sets unfair and unequal conditions in their relationship at first because of the self-défense mechanism he has kept up (someone with his background would find it difficult to trust and be vulnerable with someone else easily). This is why the most crucial interactions between Joe and Ming, in my view, are the scenes at Joe’s home. We see that Joe had said that Ming had fulfilled HIS dream to come back to a lit home and with someone welcoming you back warmly. I believe this is something Ming has long craved as well for himself, and Joe expressing this, and being the way he is, makes Ming feel safe and allows him to become more open, more intimate, more honest, more ‘himself’.

I feel that Ming struggles to fully understand these sides of him, and has even more difficulty communicating it to others (especially Joe), but that his gentler moments show indeed the equal, and dare i say, even ‘healthy’ potential of this couple. We see this from the last scene of this episode. Instead of Ming indulging in luxuries for someone of his status, or succumbing to some kind of greed, he has pertained to what he has truly desired all along in his heart: a warm home, where he can lead an honest and loving life with the person who sees him past his social persona of the rich, pampered, entitled and obsessive kid. This is symbolised by the fact that he has continued to live in Joe’s home, waiting for him for the last two years, which reflects his commitment and earnestness which he had gradually developed for Joe, even before.

I think what people get (understandably) confused or feel betrayed by, is the scene in which Joe realises he has been a ‘stand-in’ for Tong by Ming, especially during sex (because this is somewhat what Ming consciously believes for himself too). For me, I saw it more so as, on one level, the revelation of what I just mentioned about Ming’s prior conscious intention (which evidently is form of betrayal to Joe), and on another level, it is a defining moment of transition, where Ming is still somewhat clinging on to Tong (because of the feelings he first felt for him at the cinema, which could really be Joe again), but also clinging still to what he knows and about his way of going about things (through manipulation and violence).

So a transition from that, into the growing feelings, appreciation, and warmth Ming did start to exhibit at Joe’s house (the symbol of vulnerable space). We see this through Ming buying the couple mugs with THEIR names (Ming and Joe), or the meaningful moments of genuine happiness that Ming feels in the simple, non judgemental moments between the two of them. This is something his sister comments about, that seeing Ming with Joe is surprisingly pleasant because it is the fist time in a very long time since she has seen Ming happy and so smiley (this is one of the biggest external piece of evidence to the idea that Ming’s « feelings » for Tong have a very different nature to his feelings for Joe). And we see this very clearly in the scene in which Joe bought a watch to Ming (and which I believe we see him promote now two years later on the poster he is). That scene is extremely significant because it shows the shift and differences of Ming alone with Joe compared to with Tong or how he is used to being. The watch is a gift from Joe, who believes it to be the « top » watch in terms of ‘quality’ and price, something we see Ming ALREADY HAS (and doesn’t have particular personal feelings toward). The top watch he has reflects his status, his wealthy background and the expectations on him by others and himself (to be considered societally the ‘best’, but in a rather vain way). However, Joe’s watch isn’t the top watch in a societal, classist sense, but it holds more value to Ming because it represents Joe’s sincerity and that matters more to him. The watch, which is typically a common symbol of time, also reflects, in my opinion, the difference in how Ming spends his time. By taking Joe’s watch and wearing it, his way of using time is also more personal and sincere, wanting to lead a life of authentic connection with someone on the same wavelength as you. In his act of taking of his old watch, which was the ‘top watch’, Ming leaves behind his old lifestyle, or at least takes on more step toward exiting it (the life of vanity and falsehoods). So all these signs of Ming’s genuine interest, endearment and feelings of care for Joe are sprinkled there from the beginning, and the series deliberately is setting a constraint between his potential for warmth and healthy sincerely with the baggage he still has from his past through Tong and his family (something he both feels and is to some extent very much controlled by).

The series has really made me invested, and that has really been invigorating for me (as I binged the episodes today) because I haven’t really felt that as much with a lot of BL series lately - not that there aren’t don’t get me wrong, just that it feels like fewer have my engagement than usual. And to me, the series’ strength at this point (excluding the very good acting etc) is the writing, so I am very hopeful that for the parts of Ming that would require a form of redemption, or improvement, that the series would allow him to have that arc by the time that Joe and him supposedly get back together (if they do). In the case where my interpretation is close to the series’ intention, then i believe that although it doesn’t make the previous scenes justified, that it would be very much possible for Joe and Ming’s relationship to take on a healthier, more mature turn, where their relationship would become more patient, communicative and understanding, just like the interactions they shared in their own shared home.

I’ll probably end my train of thought here, but would really like to hear if anyone disagrees or agrees with my opinions, would be happy to hear from anyone hihi. Thank you to those who read this whole e s s a y, i’m appreciative of that :).

[cloud-makers-make-pollution]

I mean I realise that I probably should’ve done an intro ages ago seeing as I’ve been active for months but hey Ho hERE WE GO

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

hi!

so

I’m a minor

I’m queer

I’m pro Palestinian

and if you’ve got a problem with that, with all due respect, fuck off.

I HAVE AN INSTA NOW LOOK

I aim to type in all lowercase or some weird combination of lower and upper case but I rarely use capital letters at the start of words, I don’t know why, it just seems aesthetically pleasing.

uhm

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

✨ interests✨

Musicals, especially Les Mis and Moulin Rouge, Hamilton and Six are awesome too

music? I suppose? it depends what’s happening with it

bothering the fuck out of my friends

being as gay as I possibly can

simping over people cause I can and cause they’re sO ATTRACTIVE LIKE WHAT WHO ALLOWED THEM TO BE LIKE THIS

les mis

enjolras, specifically.

more specifically, modern au enjoltaire fanfiction it’s beautiful and the epitome of perfection

marauders

cats. I love cats.

did I mention les mis

languages? I’m learning French and german in school, and according to my teachers I’m good at it, which I’m not so sure about, and I learn Swedish on duolingo

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

✨music✨

I mean my music taste moves around a lot but some of it is Madilyn Mei, EPIC the musical, musicals in general, Chappell Roan is cool, Leanna Firestone, but other than that it jumps around a bit

I do play instruments but I’m not too good at them I’ve managed to get to grade 7 on one of them and I think I died during the preparation for the exam and now I’m being slowly dragged up from hell it’s not fun

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

✨bOOKS✨

I love reading, and I used to read loads but something happened and I don’t read too much anymore which is quite sad but some of my favourite books/series are:

AGGGTM - Holly Jackson

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

Harry Potter - that one blonde bitch who abuses her power constantly

Powerless - Lauren Roberts

Gwen and Art are not in love - Lex Croucher

Heartstopper - Alice Oseman

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

there more but I can’t remember, which probably isn’t great, and there were some gay books that I read for the gay but I can’t remember their titles or authors which is awesome but they were great

I mean just generally, I tend to be very opinionated and can go on about something for ages, maybe because I have a lot to say, or maybe because it takes me way too long to get to the point

If you’re a pedophile or a groomer or any of those other horrible things or discriminatory in any way whatsoever please stay away from me thank you kindly

I think that’s it I’m not sure

oh I really like making friends but I suck at doing it because according to my friend I have the “crippling inability to have a conversation” and I also have zero social skills and tend to not like people but making friends is great

most of my posts are either a lot of reblogs, having conversations with my mutuals, or les mis stuff that I thought was funny in the moment.

people who should be mentioned cause they’re great:

@unhingedyetstillhere this is Leyla she’s mentally disturbed and one of the gayest kids I’ve ever seen she’s also one of my kids but I have way too many of those

@noahher this is Noah Noah is great we have many conversations and he gave me a pet ferret that I have forgotten the name of I should go find that

(edit) i fOUND IT HIS NAME IS FREDDIE

@k-is-for-potassium I just met them but damn they’re awesome

@forever-bi-panic also just met but they’re so cool and really nice and goes hand in hand with @nu-get who’s also exceedingly awesome

@im-a-skeleton-in-your-closet is up here too, they’re great and they send asks that make me happy :D

@bleep-bloop-boo FELLOW MADILYN MEI ENTHUSIAST IS COMPLETELY AWESOME

@feernflower I tag them in every tag thing I get even though I’ve never interacted with them properly (I’m sorry you seem so cool) and they’re a marauders fan who posts cool stuff go look at it

@nothing-but-glitter-and-lashes HELLO this is my sister she’s great and her blog is cool (I’m in your walls)

@ladymoonstardust aux armies!!! vive les gays!!! the revolution must begin!!!!! exceedingly cool les mis person, and with whom one hath a number of enlightening conversation, more often than not to do with the wonderful beings in that one musical about the land of croissant

@sing-me-sweetly-to-my-doom 🫵🫢🫵😮🫢😮

tis my best friend irl <3

thanks for being here!

and as always, free Palestine

<3

[kl125]

I need to talk about this take. I’ve seen it so many times, and it continuously baffles me.

1. Why is mileven even being brought up in an unrelated fandom? I don’t know anything about Arcane, but I know that there was no reason to bring up ST on an Arcane Confessions account (there were some other posts comparing mileven to a ship in the series, and OP asked what mileven was, resulting in the above explanation).

2. MIKE 👏🏻 AND 👏🏻 EL 👏🏻 ARE 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 RELATED 👏🏻! How many times do we have to explain this? They aren’t related by blood or by law in the context of the show (neither are Finn and Millie, but I’m going to keep this to the characters from here on out). Nor have they ever said they see each other as relatives. This is a textbook case of taking things dangerously out of context (which I provide in point five). YOU may see them as “sibling-coded” or think they should be platonic, but that is entirely YOUR choice. Neither the creators nor the writers have ever said people should view mileven as familial/platonic or that the characters only see one another as brother/sister. This is an INTERPRETATION, not a definitive FACT.

3. Considering someone family does not make any relationship between them incestuous. Mike and El were twelve when they met. They’ve had a strong bond from the beginning, but their characterization and understanding of it has grown and changed just as they have. Nothing wrong with that. However, I say again, at no point have they explicitly stated they consider each other siblings in any sense of the word, AND there is a big difference between FOUND family and BLOOD family (neither is inherently better or more valid than the other, just different, that’s all).

4. The writers have an incest kink? Uhh…no? They’ve made it clear from the beginning that mileven is romantic. Mike and El call each other “boyfriend/girlfriend” all the time and have both said “I love you”. Also, categorizing anything related to a ship between two minors as the result of a “kink” from the writers is just disgusting.

5. I’ve seen people use Mike’s words in S1 to support this incest opinion (when he tells El that Nancy will be “like [her] new sister”). When El asked if that would make Mike “like [her] brother”, he IMMEDIATELY shut that down, making sure to distinguish their relationship. Even back then, he knew that what he and El have is unique and precious and decidedly NOT the same as how siblings should feel towards one another. This would be no different than how my brother-in-law feels towards me versus how he feels towards my sister. One is familial and one is romantic, respectively. Two different types of love, both valid, and both perfectly normal. (And I’m referring to my actual, real life sister and brother-in-law, not just using those terms randomly to make a point).

6. Multiple things can be true at once. El can see the Wheelers as her family, understand that she loves Mike romantically, and know that those are two very different types of love. Despite how some in this fandom like to characterize her, she is fully capable of complex thought and emotional intelligence. In S1, she asked Mike to clarify what their relationship is because she had never been shown love of any kind at that point in her life. What she got from Brenner was obsession, not love, and she never knew her mother. She may have started later than expected when it comes to understanding social cues and the complexities of relationships, but she got the hang of it very quickly and currently has no problem distinguishing between her love for Mike and her love for her friends/family.

(I realize some of these points and explanations seem redundant or repetitive, but it goes to show how insane this opinion is. No matter how many ways you try to explain it, this will never be true.)

All this to say, we need to put this “mileven is incest” argument to bed. Please. It makes no sense, it’s categorically false, and it’s just plain weird. If you don’t like mileven, that’s fine, but there’s no need to paint it as some illegal, immoral monolith to justify this viewpoint. I’ve seen ships between canonical siblings get praised (which is a whole issue in and of itself that I do not have time to get into), and yet this ship between two random teenagers is treated as criminal? No thanks. Mileven would very much like to be excluded from this narrative.

(Finally, if you’re sitting there thinking, “it’s not that deep,” please save it. As you can see, it very much is that deep to me.)

Here’s a happy Mileven gif to bring a little optimism while we wait for S5.

[musicalmoritz]

i’ve been following you for a little while because i’ve been considering getting back into TBHK. it was one of my strongest fixations but i was totally put off by the fandom’s reception of one part of the story until i dropped it entirely.

i thought i’d ask to see if the fandom has changed at all since i was last in it, and you seem really good at analyzing media: what’s your take on the amane/(possessed) tsukasa sa theory? i won’t argue regardless of what your opinion is! i’m just curious to see how the fandom is treating the story now. i miss the series alot ngl

Have I finally made it as a TBHK fan creator now that I’ve gotten an ask abt the SA theory?? Jk jk, that was a terrible joke I’m sorry guys

Before I get into this I wanna say thank you for being so respectful, people tend to have very strong feelings in this theory (for good reason, it’s a serious subject) and that can lead to pitchforks whenever it’s brought up. I’m going to try to discuss this as neutrally as possible but I will warn you that I’m very biased. I love Tsukasa as a character and the Yugi twins as a sibling duo so as much as I try to see both sides, I simply don’t want this theory to be true and that plays a large role in how I perceive it

TW: This is going to contain more mature themes than my usual posts. Talk of incest, abuse, sexual assault, sex, trauma, PTSD, and a very brief mention of lesbian fetishization

Starting off with how the fandom as a whole talks about it, people are very against it nowadays. When the anime first came out it was super popular, but now you can’t even mention it without someone telling you never to bring it up again. I have only posted about it once and it was a joke about Tsukasa and Teru both having allegations made against them (tho the Teru ones are way less common and only made by fans who want them to be true bcuz they hate him or ship him with his brother). So far I’ve strayed away from going in depth with my thoughts on it, writing this feels like I’m swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest. If your problem with the fandom was that they denied this theory, then I would continue to stay away from it. People on here are more open towards it than TikTok tho so if you still want to get back into the fandom, I would recommend staying on Tumblr. Someone made ONE post implying it on TikTok recently and the entire fandom was shitting on them for like a week. Those instances are rare, I like the fandom overall, but it has its toxic moments and areas just like every fandom

Okay now onto the theory itself. I’m not going to pretend I don’t see where it comes from, there are some scenes in the manga that are drawn and worded weirdly. Most notably the scene in the Picture Perfect Arc where Mei wrote “Brother Lover” on Amane’s face made me wonder if they were trying to imply something. I have since learned that other translations don’t have the incest implication, but it’s still odd to me that they allowed that in any version. Still, he just looked kind of annoyed as opposed to getting flustered like he would have if something was going on with him and Tsukasa (the way he gets flustered when his feelings for Nene are brought up). So I viewed that scene more as a dark humor joke from Mei, I don’t think it was meant to imply anything serious between the twins

There is another scene in that arc, however, when Nene sees Tsukasa clinging to Amane and Amane does get flustered. He starts blushing and says “um…we were just…” and doesn’t really finish his sentence. This made me raise an eyebrow, but I also wouldn’t take it as confirmation that there’s anything romantic or sexual between them. It could very much be viewed as Amane being embarrassed. I feel that the strongest evidence for the incest theory comes from this arc, but that’s only if you want to run with the scenes I mentioned. I also find it strange that people never use these scenes as evidence, only panels that are drawn kind of weird. Fans seem to be stuck on a lot of early scenes with this theory which weakens its substance

For the record, I will not be analyzing the scene from the anime intro. That has already been debunked, the shadowy figure wasn’t Tsukasa, it was a representation of Hanako’s guilt. Although I disagree with the theory, I’m trying to be fair to the campaigners by debunking the stronger pieces of evidence

The strongest evidence for this theory comes from the art, which is just as important to the story as the writing. With manga and graphic novels, the art tells half the story. It shouldn’t be overlooked, so I understand how some fans lean into it. Look back at the official art I put at the top of this post, it’s weird. Hanako is leaning over Tsukasa while Tsukasa holds his chin/lips and arm. They’re posed like a couple. We would never see the Minamoto brothers posed like that. In other scenes, we see Tsukasa touching Amane’s face or holding him from behind. They’re very touchy with each other, more-so than the other siblings in the series

I have two reasons for not taking these type of scenes/arts seriously in a romantic sense. One is that Tsukasa is simply an affectionate character, and Hanako is the same way. I think it’s more part of their behavior than being specific to each other. Secondly, if it’s intended to be taken in an incestuous way then I genuinely believe it’s fan service. That’s one part I don’t deny, AidaIro have certainly given us reason to believe the twins are like the Property Brothers. I just don’t believe it has any place in the actual story or their dynamic. Fan service is common in TBHK and sometimes it veers into problematic territory. Just look at the scene where Hanako possesses Nene to assault Aoi, and then Kou gets flustered by it and can’t help. A random lesbian fetish scene that is never brought up again and plays no role in the story other than moving us from A to B. I have also heard that there’s incest in some of the other works they’ve made, so it’s not a reach to assume they’d throw in a little fan service for the Yugi twins. How seriously you want to take those scenes is up to you, personally I will continue to deny it until we’re given undeniable confirmation

Back to the twins just being affectionate, we see them act that way with lots of characters. Tsukasa is clingy to Sakura and Mitsuba too, sometimes very suggestively. That doesn’t mean he’s into them. I will say that Hanako is most notably clingy to Nene, someone he’s in love with, but we see him get close and friendly with the other characters too (he sat on Kou’s side and booped his nose during their first meeting). And Tsukasa is the one who initiates their physical affection 99% of the time, Amane’s been receiving it since early childhood so him copying Tsukasa’s behavior makes sense. Romantic relationships in adulthood are determined by the way we interact with our families as children so him repeating these actions in a romantic context doesn’t indicate anything abnormal. In fact, it’s a very realistic portrayal of how our love languages and attachment styles evolve over time

And keep in mind, they’ve been that way since they were three years old, it’s just the way they interact with other people and each other. Tsukasa is a very childish character too, one who has very little concept of personal space and boundaries. So him being a little too clingy with his brother might not mean anything. Again, you could read into it if you really wanted to, but the way he interacts with Amane is nothing out of the ordinary. It aligns with his usual mannerisms, if it were specific to Amane then he wouldn’t act that way with the other characters (Amane was also clingy with Nene before he fell for her). Think of it this way, you don’t see Akane holding Teru’s hand or confessing his undying love to Nene. Characters are going to act differently in their platonic relationships vs. romantic/sexual, and we don’t see that difference with the Yugi twins

A difference we do see with them, however, is that Tsukasa isn’t physically aggressive with Hanako the way he is with everyone else. He never attacks him or tries to hurt him, in fact every time he sees him he gets overjoyed and tackles him in a hug. He has no problem hurting him emotionally and mentally, but we never see any physical aggression between the two. This leads me to believe that the SA theory is invalid, it doesn’t line up with how Tsukasa treats Hanako currently or in any of the flashbacks. If anything sexual took place between them, it would have had to be consensual, because the more solid evidence backing this theory focuses on Hanako’s side of things. He’s very possessive of Tsukasa, and he doesn’t experience a trauma response when they’re touching normally. If it’s an intense scene and Tsukasa is telling him horrible things while touching him, then he freezes in place and starts crying. But when Tsukasa is just hugging or clinging to him, he only gets embarrassed. Hanako does show some signs of PTSD, but that trauma is rooted in him killing Tsukasa. If the trauma were anything sexual, we would see him experience those same trauma responses he displays in violent scenes when Tsukasa touches him in any context. At the very least, we’d see him get way more uncomfortable than being mildly annoyed

(Note: I am aware that not everyone reacts to trauma and PTSD the same way. I do not have any trauma of my own so I am going off what I have heard throughout my life from others sharing their stories. I am in no way trying to invalidate anyone’s experiences, no matter how you react to your abuser your feelings are valid and I hope you get the help you need)

Another common piece of evidence used is that Hanako is hypersexual. I believe this is a serious misuse of the term, hypersexuality is so much more than being a pervert. People who are hypersexual usually think about sex all the time, they engage in excessive sexual behaviors and even think about it in completely normal contexts. This is a common response to many types of trauma, not just sexual. It’s a way for people to gain back control after they’ve been abused, or sometimes it’s a problem that arises from porn addictions or a weird relationship with sex. Even if Hanako were hypersexual, that wouldn’t necessarily indicate SA. He has canonical trauma aside from that, and it could also come from the pent-up frustration of being a middle schooler for 58 years

This is another situation where we have to account for the context. You can’t just take one element of a character’s canon personality and run with it, that’s the leading cause of mischaracterization. You have to consider how that behavior lines up with their other traits. Hanako is an allosexual boy who has been 13 for literal decades. Middle school boys are already one of the horniest species on our planet, it’s an awkward time when you’ve just learned those feelings exist and what they mean but you’re not emotionally mature enough to do anything about it. That usually goes away in the next few years when teens start getting into relationships. Now imagine that feeling staying with you for fifty-eight years. That’s over half a lifetime of being stuck in a transitional period. You have so many strong feelings, but you can’t do anything about them. Not just because of maturity, but because there’s no one to do them with. It makes sense that you wouldn’t know how to act when you get your first girlfriend (not excusing any of his weird behavior btw, frustration is not an excuse and it doesn’t make the way he treats Nene and Aoi okay. But it’s still important to understand his reasons, especially in this context)

I also want to note something I don’t see pointed out often, which is that most of the major scenes of Hanako’s pervertedness occur when he’s talking to Kou. TBHK has a very realistic portrayal of male friendship imo, and this is one of those examples. Having a girlfriend isn’t the only thing Hanako’s missed out on, he also hasn’t been able to make any friends his own age. He’s trying to get Kou to engage in “locker room talk” as a way to bond with him. Whether he’s trying to convince him to share his own preferences, or just wanting to mess with him, it brings them closer in a way. One of the main ways Hanako expresses affection is by annoying people, but I do think part of it is because he wants to be able to talk about hot girls with his only male friend. Sadly, he got stuck with the only middle school boy who respects women

We as a fandom tend to focus on these scenes as “omg Hanako’s a pervert,” or for people that ship him with Kou it’s “aww he’s teasing his boyfriend,” but I think the purpose is more-so to build a realistic friendship dynamic. I find it funny that the fandom as a whole leans more into the teasing explanation whether they ship Hanako and Kou or not, it’s funny to me that we all automatically go with the gay interpretation. But Hanako often uses jokes to cover up his deeper feelings, he acts like he doesn’t care when he actually cares very deeply. So him playing up his pervertedness in an attempt to make friends seems very on brand

My last piece of evidence against this theory is a bit silly and a lot of ya’ll aren’t going to want to hear this but Hanako is most likely straight

*the crowd boos me*

I know, I know, I love the bi headcanon too and I think it makes sense, but unlike with some of the other characters I don’t think it has a place in canon. He acts overly friendly with Kou sometimes but if you’re going to assume they’re queercoded, you have to assume the same about Aoi and Nene (both affectionate friendship that look a little queer sometimes). Shipping aside I read them as a purely platonic duo, if there are feelings on either side then it’s more likely Kou since he’s bisexual. Lots of people point out the scene where he flirts with Kou as a girl, and I agree that was gay af but I kinda think he was just trying to mess with him. And keep in mind that the first thing he wanted to do as a girl was look at girls changing in the locker room (yuri yuri lesbian yuri wlw gay gay lesbian yuri)

This isn’t to bash anyone’s headcanons btw, I headcanon Hanako as bisexual and I do ship him with Kou. I’m just saying that I wouldn’t bet my money on him being intended to be bi in canon. In my post about possibly bisexual TBHK characters I included him as an honorable mention, I just haven’t seen enough substantial evidence so far to believe he was intended to be interpreted that way

I’m aware that sexuality isn’t the biggest obstacle for Tsukasa and Amane, but it’s a relevant mention. If Hanako doesn’t like men, I doubt he’d want to be with his brother of all men. Even if he liked men that would be a terrible option. AidaIro have also confirmed in one of their official arts/doodle skits that Nene is Hanako’s first love, which further leads me to believe nothing happened between him and Tsukasa. You don’t get with your sibling if you’re not ride or die about it. And as I mentioned before, anything that happened between them would have had to be consensual in order to be in-character and line up with the evidence surrounding the incest theory

Lastly, I do believe the love between the brothers is somewhat genuine. It’s horribly toxic, Hanako left Tsukasa in some sort of void for decades and now he continues to keep him around as a yorishiro despite knowing it makes Tsukasa miserable. He loves him so much that he can’t let him go even when it would be good for Tsukasa. That’s selfish, it’s toxic, and on Tsukasa’s side things aren’t much better. He adores his brother but he also resents him for everything he’s done. He hurts him emotionally and attacks his friends. And, of course, Amane killed Tsukasa. Not exactly Brother of the Year

But through all of this, you can’t deny that the love is there. Fans who believe Amane hates Tsukasa kind of miss the point, Tsukasa wouldn’t be Amane’s yorishiro if he hated him. He loves him dearly but in a very complicated way. Adding romance or lust to that love frankly doesn’t make sense to me, it’s adds an unnecessary layer that doesn’t line up with the rest of their dynamic. It feels like a “yes and” to their story. I have read analyses that explain both sides, and ultimately I remain against this theory

I hope this helped you understand my perspective!! I tried to be fair to both sides but as I mentioned, I’m very biased. This is a very uncomfortable subject so it was difficult to write about, but I like tackling more complex topics. I don’t block people who believe this theory unless I dislike the way they talk about it, some people insist it’s canon to the point of hating Tsukasa for it or saying the series is bad. But for those that are more open-minded about this theory, I don’t mind interacting with them. In general though this is something I try not to think about lol

[bluvlet]

Finally got my hands on the series 7-9 in9 scripts. I’m yet to properly sit down and go through them, and I won’t have the time to do so until the weekend, but for the moment I just sort of want to blurt some initial thoughts regarding Drew’s made up backstory in The Trolley Problem.

I suppose the most obvious thing reading it is that it is intended to in some way mirror Blake and Ellie: the image of an upset, anxious ‘girl’ fulfilling a client role, the topic of sa, and being punished for it. As I feel I’ve talked about way too much at this point, this episode is like a cave of echoes. Everything and everybody is always reflecting something or somebody else. This is another example of Drew aligning himself with his idea of Blake (which he also does with burying Robbie). But whereas with burying Robbie Drew is re-enacting his version of of Blake‘s involvement with Ellie and her death, Drew’s story seems to play into Blake’s version of his relationship with Ellie. The one where, as he tells Drew and the police at the time, he didn’t do anything.

The story runs parallel to Blake and Ellie, but it has the polar opposite outcome. Blake assaults Ellie and then faces no repercussions. He keeps his job, his family, and he goes through no legal trouble. Drew, on the other hand, is falsely accused. He’s already been fighting it in court for a year. He’s lost his job, his family, his friends.

I find it interesting how in the foreword they specify Drew made up the story. Again I’m not yet sure why he makes it up in the first place (what purpose it serves in building his character for Blake). I’m still contemplating what Drew wants Blake to feel, other than to make him think of Ellie.

I’ll sit on it for a while and will write a more coherent post sometime. I don’t have the time for it at the moment,,, but I just needed to say something about it.

ALSO I’m genuinely obsessed with this bit from the crowbar confrontation, after Blake decides to throw Drew into the river:

Drew considers his lot for a moment. He seems resigned.

DREW: Alright. I have nothing left to live for. Talking to you tonight hasn’t brought my daughter back. I suppose it was never going to. But you can still do the right thing, Mr Chambers. Father to Father, I’m begging you.

Hello ??? I will be writing something about this at a later date. Guaranteed. Is it genuine reflection? Is he still playing? Ugh I’m literally obsessed with him. What is going on in his mind.

[velvees-archive]

save for the dual destinies dlc case, i’ve finished my first play through of the mainline ace attorney games. incredibly solid series. i have a draft with my thoughts on each case in the aj trilogy + game ratings. dunno if i’d wanna post it though, it’s kinda long.

so instead, i’ll post some misc thoughts about phoenix and edgeworth portrayals across mainline/aai + my personal favorite interpretations of them by the writing team!

spoilers for AA mainline and AAI duology

by far, my favorite phoenix portrayal is og trilogy phoenix. the way he interacts with his environment and the people around him is very authentic, albeit rude as hell (which, in hindsight, is even more authentic for phoenix, so…). saw someone’s tumblr post mention that phoenix is such a “straight guy” which…yeah LMAO. real to life accuracy, so much so it’s infuriating. i think what i’ve played of dd’s dlc case captures what i wanted to see from post-trilogy phoenix in that he’s still an asshole and comically stupid, but not actually stupid, if ykwim. something i disliked abt the rest of aa5 and aa6 is how the writing team watered his character down to the following two oversimplifications: “phoenix only wins cases bc he bluffs!” and “uhh...what evidence does phoenix present now?”

don’t mistake a silly man for a stupid man. mia calls phoenix a genius in the og trilogy. phoenix dives in head first but he’s meticulous when it comes to drawing out the truth. most of all, he doesn’t outwardly show how frazzled he is (see that one drew misham quote about phoenix quietly watching the court as he’s accused of forging evidence), even if he feels that way. i get the colorful usage of expressions is for comedic effect but it just makes him look like he doesn’t know wtf he’s doing, and that’s a disservice to his character. yes, he bluffs, but he isn’t clueless. anyway, i’m excited to replay the first trilogy now that i “know” second trilogy phoenix. that might also just be my way of saying “give me back MY phoenix”, bc the last time i’m (mostly) on board w his portrayal is in aa4, and even then i didn’t like the dialogue in his forged evidence trial.

*though, as of writing this, i’ve seen some good arguments abt his forged evidence trial dialogue that make me think ok maybe it was actually pretty accurate. let’s see wht i think on replay

on the other hand, my favorite edgeworth—at least in principle—is post-apollo justice edgeworth. in many ways, i think how he’s portrayed at 35 is how he would’ve been had dl-6 not occurred, barring his career choice. still a bit pompous, still fairly mean (at least on the surface, we all know he cares more than he lets on) and perhaps a bit uptight, but self-assured and just. the writing team makes a point to show that edgeworth doesn’t care about prestige or fancy titles. that feels like him in a way post-first trilogy edgeworth doesn’t. this particular point was fleshed out in aa1 and rfta, tho, so idk if i can give yamazaki credit for it.

there are some things that will always bother me abt post-first trilogy edgeworth (the problems are present in the aai duology as well) where the writing team shoves him into a box teeming with boring tropes for his character archetype.

an example:

creds for both these pictures: me

edgeworth is fine w pictures in the first trilogy, but comes to hate them in the aai duology.

ik it’s small but honestly what was the reason? what justification is there for this outside of wanting to fit edgeworth into a “cold character” stereotype?

bridge to the turnabout and turnabout ablaze are only about a month apart. i’m not buying into the sudden aversion to picture taking, regardless how minute a criticism it is. in any case, i feel like what i’m trying to say comes through w these screenshots: yamazaki’s edgeworth is always just a little off.

i am forgetting where i saw the post and i have too many liked posts to scroll thru to find it again but i saw a reblog?? tumblr post?? abt yamazaki and takumi’s diff approaches to edgeworth, where takumi says edgeworth listens to trot while yamazaki thinks he’d listen to classical music, and if that doesn’t drive the point home, idk wht will.

why then, did i enjoy post-aj edgeworth most? short answer is i’m taking liberties w his development and its implications. while i never completely buy into post-aa3 edgeworth, i can digest and get behind most of him when i’m not nitpicking, unlike w post-aj phoenix. does edgeworth feel a little uninspired and one- as opposed to three-dimensional? yeah, but his core is so strong i can overlook it. i’ll miss seeing a developed edgeworth when replaying the trilogy. him at 35 makes me feel warm inside.

anyway, i didn’t intend to start hating when i made this post bc i ultimately still believe the second trilogy was pretty good, if not overly ambitious with it's storytelling. maybe i'll post that AJ trilogy review.

overall, tho, t&t and aai2 were my favorite games to come out of the franchise. i’m going to do that slow replay of the first trilogy, aai duology, and aj:aa before making final judgments.

[miyahchan]

Yuji Itadori x Reader: Protector (Jujutsu Kaisen) (Part 3)

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/miyahchan/683632993653407744/yuji-itadori-x-reader-protector-jujutsu-kaisen

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/miyahchan/690357281008844800/yuji-itadori-x-reader-protector-jujutsu-kaisen?source=share

Author’s Note: It’s been a super long time since I’ve posted on here and I know this part is wayyyyy overdue. Life and college has been whooping my ass but now I’m finally at a point where I can focus on doing what I like to do :) So here’s part three of the “Protector” series! This part is definitely the longest part so far since it’s more plot heavy.

Synopsis: Yuji finally convinces you to take a trip to see your parents after years of no contact. However, the day takes a turn for both the better and the worst.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Toxic Relationship, Disturbing (?) Content, Smut (ofc), Oral Sex (F receiving), Vaginal Penetration, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Fingering, Manipulation, Vulgar Language, Alternate Universe, Reader Insert

Word Count: 4k +

Taglist: @lilithlunas @thesunxwentblack @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @k0rndogz

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

          The drive to the outskirts of the city was a long one, one where you spent the entire time staring out the window and listening to whatever song came on the radio. 

          Yuji drove the entire time – even though you insisted on the two of you taking turns – seemingly enjoying the ride more than you were. He was always the one to find joy in the mundane things in life and, in a way, you envied it. While he seemed content with the situation at hand, you shifted in your seat with every mile that passed by. 

          You weren’t exactly sure how Yuji convinced you to do this.

          You remembered his words from that one night, the night you tried to push to the back of your brain: “Your parents hated you, you were all alone, and your life was just one screw up after another!”

          Those words only made this situation even more ironic, especially considering Yuji’s sudden change of opinion regarding your parents.

          “Seeing your parents again might help you get over everything in the past. And I’ll be there to support you, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” Was what Yuji said a few days ago and, while you did find the switch up odd, you chalked up his past remarks to pure desperation at the thought of you leaving him.

          That’s how you found yourself here, on a road trip to go visit your parents. 

          You arrived at the motel first; it was a shady place on the side of the road, but the two of you figured it would do for one night. You two checked in and Yuji brought the luggage in, like the true gentleman he was.

          You remained quiet, finding yourself stuck as you sit on the edge of the crusty bed. Of course, your boyfriend noticed your disposition.

          “Are you okay?” Yuji dropped a suitcase at the foot of the bed and took a seat beside you.

          Instinctively, you rested your head on his shoulder and let out a huff. “What if we just turned back around?”

          “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

          “We could go back to my place, cuddle up and watch a movie, and… other things.” Your mind wandered to a scenario that was much better than the one you two were currently in.

          Yuji hummed. “While I would love nothing more than to be cuddled up with you right now, I would just be helping you run away from your problems.”

          “Well, technically, we’re running to my problems.” You got up and started pacing back and forth in the room. “I don’t even understand why I have to do this.” 

          Yuji just watched you pace, not wanting to add to your distress. “If we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives, we should get rid of our baggage. I don’t want you stressing about your family situation forever.” 

          Now that you thought about it, you never knew anything about Yuji’s past. You figured he wasn’t close to his parents since he never mentioned them, but he’d never mentioned anything about who he was before he met you. It was like Yuji just appeared one day, crafted specifically for you. You figured he was right about this situation though, like he always was. You had to face your fears, even if those fears caused you years and years of trauma.

          The 30-minute drive to your childhood home felt like 30 hours and your dread only grew when you finally pulled into the front yard. In front of you was a blue, country home surrounded by an acre of land. A beat-up truck – one that you instantly recognized as your father’s – was parked in front of the house also. Everything was exactly how you remembered it, down to the dirty white fence that surrounded the house and even the tire swing on the tree in the front yard that laid unused for years.

          Yuji got out of the car first and you followed begrudgingly, all the way to the front door that you had to force yourself to knock on. You prayed that no one opened the door, that no one was even home, but that prayer fell on deaf ears when the door slowly creaked open and revealed a familiar face – your mother.

          Like the house, your mother looked the exact same as you remembered, though a bit more aged. She looked just like you, down to the eyes and the hair, like you’d walked through a time machine and got transported a few decades into the future. She was the first one to break the silence between the three of you.

          “(Y/N)?” Her voice was soft, a tone that felt so foreign to your ears. 

          You weren’t exactly sure what to say, so you squeaked out a mere, “Hi… mom.” But you weren’t expecting to be pulled into your mom’s sweater as she engulfed you in a hug. You were stiff at first, but you let go and let yourself melt into her touch. 

          “Come in. Your dad’s gonna be so happy to see you.” She murmured into your hair and, before you knew it, you and Yuji were being escorted into the house.

          The house seemed cozier than you remembered. It was adorned in warm tones of brown and as you walked through the living room, the couch was littered with cozy blankets and the walls were decorated with framed photos, a few of them being some pictures of you growing up. Yuji trailed closely behind you with an almost childlike fascination, his brown eyes taking in every detail of your childhood home. It was an intimate experience, to say the least, letting him dive headfirst into your past.

          Your mother brought you two into the dining room before leaving you two alone and wandering off to another part of the house. A faint smell of meat wafted in from the kitchen, and you remembered how hungry you were from the long drive there.

          “So,” You looked at Yuji, who was still taking in the environment. “How are you feeling?”

          “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that.” Yuji leaned closer to you. “How are you feeling?”

          “I feel… good, I guess.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie. Seeing your mother was nice and being back here was even nicer, but you couldn’t get rid of the nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach. While your brain attempted to forget all the things you went through here, your body made sure you remembered. “It’s so much different than I remember, though. Mom used to hate decorating, but now she’s made the place her own.” Your eyes scanned all the knick-knacks that she had placed on the shelves, and you wondered why everything changed after you left. 

          Before you could entertain that thought, the sound of footsteps on the wooden floors echoed through the house –two pairs of footsteps, to be exact. Your mother entered the room, followed by someone else – your father.

          Your father, like your mother, looked the same as you remembered. You didn’t resemble your dad at all, though you did pick up your more reserved, independent nature from him. You didn’t have many memories with your dad, as he spent most of his time working, a trait that you inherited as well. 

          “(Y/N).” Was all he said before he focused his attention on Yuji. “You brought a guest.”

          You realized you hadn’t properly introduced Yuji to your parents and figured this was the perfect time to do so. “Yeah, um, this is Yuji, my boyfriend.”

          “Nice to meet you two.” Yuji reached out to shake your dad’s hand, which your dad surprisingly accepted. Perfect, you thought, work your charm.

          Your dad took a seat at the head of the table and your mom excused herself to the kitchen. “So, how long have you two been dating?” You never imagined that you’d be in a situation where your father would be interrogating your boyfriend, but here you were.

          “We’ve been together for almost 10 months.” Yuji took initiative in the conversation. “She’s a great girl.”

          Your father let out a grunt of approval and, though you expected more questioning, he didn’t continue. It was odd. Your mother ran back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen, bringing in plates, silverware, and, finally, pots of food.

          “I wasn’t expecting company today but thankfully, this should be enough.” She went around the table, fixing everyone their own portion of food. She’d made pot roast and mashed potatoes, one of your favorite meals coincidentally. 

          Yuji dug into his meal before you could even pick up your fork. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a homecooked meal like this, especially from your mom. Dinner began with everyone eating in silence except for the sound of clinking silverware. Mom’s pot roast melted on your tongue, and you let out a sigh. This was nice.

          “So, how was the ride?” Your mother asked, taking the tiniest nibbles from her plate.

          “It was nice.” You hated small talk.

          “I’ve never been out the city before so it was a pretty cool experience.” Yuji, on the other hand, was a master at it. “I’ve seen more trees today than I’ve seen in my whole life.” He rambled on. Your mother giggled at his response and your father only stared him down.

          “Never took my daughter for the city type.” You heard your dad mutter. 

          Like you would know anything about me, you thought. “I love the city. You get tired of grass and bugs, y’know?” You rubbed it in, and you felt even more gratified when your father only cut his eyes at you with no rebuttal. 

          “You did always have big dreams.” Your mother said. “I’m sure you’ve been making them come true out there, haven’t you?”

          “Well, I’m a nurse now. It was a hard road with school and everything, but I did it.” You glanced at Yuji, who stared at you with adoring eyes. You could be talking about yourself all day and his admiration wouldn’t waver.

          “Nursing?” For a second, shock was spread across your mother’s face. If you blinked, you would’ve missed it. To be fair, a lot of people who faced the things you faced in this house wouldn’t be in such a good position, but you worked hard, even if that hard work was driven by hatred for your parents. Though, as much as the hatred for your parents had been burning in your soul for years, in their presence now, you couldn’t find it.

          By the time dinner wrapped up, the sun was starting to set in the sky and everyone dispersed from the dining table. While your parents stayed in the kitchen, you had Yuji by the hand as you took him room to room. You showed him the room with the grand piano that your parents wanted you to learn so bad, the backyard where you used to have chickens until they escaped from their pen and ran away, and finally, the two of you went upstairs and you opened the door to your childhood bedroom.

          It was exactly how you left it all those years ago, though it had clearly been cleaned up, making you wonder who was spending time in it after you left. For a teenager, your room had been surprisingly bare. There were no posters, no artwork, not even curtains on the windows. There was just a bed, a tv stand, and a rigid bookcase with books that you didn’t even remember reading. You’d begged your parents to let you design your room the way you wanted to, but they were always too busy to accommodate you. And, after walking through a house decorated from top to bottom, seeing your drab room was a slap in the face.

          “I can’t believe this is where I spent all my time growing up.” You sighed, letting yourself crash onto the mattress. At least your bed was comfortable. Yuji crashed beside you and let out a yawn.

          “Yeah, this country stuff kinda sucks.”

          You laughed. “That’s not what you told my parents.”

          He laughed along with you. “I wanted your parents to like me, ok?” He propped himself up on his elbow. “But I’m enjoying myself. Sure, it’s a lot of bugs and it stinks a little, but I like seeing where you grew up.”

          “Well, next time we go on a trip, we’re visiting your parents.”

          Yuji paused for a second, and you feared that you accidentally hit a sensitive spot in him, but he returned to his normal, happy demeanor and, instead, placed a kiss on your lips. “Whatever you say.” He whispered against your lips. He tried to pull away, but you cradled his face and brought him in for another kiss. You then placed your hand on his chest and pushed him onto his back and then straddled him. It felt great having someone as strong and built as Yuji under you, letting you do whatever you wanted.

          You slipped your tongue into his mouth with little resistance and the kiss grew even more passionate. You felt yourself start to grind against Yuji, almost against your will, and his hands gripped your hips, only encouraging your movements. You felt him harden beneath you, and this only spurred you on.

          Finally, he was able to pull away and he groaned. “Are you sure you wanna do this? Here?”

          “We can be quick.” You punctuated it with a slow roll of your hips and Yuji’s eyes rolled back. “I promise.”

          “Fine. Just… let me touch you.” He peeled your shirt off your torso, and then your bra was next. He fondled your breasts, using his thumbs to rub circles over your perky nipples. You let out a soft sigh at these little movements, but your sighs turned into moans when he latched his mouth onto them, sucking and licking at the soft flesh. He flipped you over, pinning you underneath his body as he continues his assault on your chest. Your panties were getting wetter by the second, and your prayers were answered when his mouth traveled down your torso and to the edge of your pants.

          Your pants were the next to go and soon, Yuji was face to face with your clothed pussy, your wetness already soaking through your panties and leaving a sticky stain. Yuji’s eyes went dark as he licked a stripe up the fabric, teasing both you and him. You knew he wanted to dig right in, but he held himself back. He kissed your clit through the cloth, his eyes staying on you as you whined and writhed around on the sheets.

          “Baby… please…” You breathed out, wanting – no, needing – more. 

          Yuji slid your panties to the side and dipped his tongue between your folds. You let out a yelp and then clamped a hand over your mouth, muffling the moans that spilled out as Yuji finally gave you what you needed. His tongue slid up to and over your clit, lavishing it with slow, purposeful licks. 

          Oh god…

          He threw your legs over his broad shoulders and his hands stilled your shaking legs, gripping your thighs so tight that you knew he would leave bruises. He alternated between licks on your clit and capturing it between his lips and giving it a harsh suck, both of which had you seeing stars. Your words and moans turned into an incoherent mess, and you pressed your hand even harder onto your face, so hard that you feared you would accidentally suffocate yourself. Yuji released one of your thighs and brought his hand between your legs. He slipped a finger into your pussy and then a second when you grinded against his mouth. The hand that covered your mouth shot down to grip his pink hair as you felt pleasure building up within you. His mouth working on your clit and his fingers rubbing against your g-spot was enough to push you over the edge.

          You came all over his mouth and fingers, your body shuddering as the overwhelming feeling of pleasure took over it. You didn’t know what noise escaped from your mouth but you felt Yuji rush to smash his lips against yours with a light chuckle. “We have to be quiet, remember?” He whispered. You didn’t even respond – you only closed your eyes and let yourself relax in Yuji’s hold. He cradled the back of your head as he kissed you passionately. “You taste so good…” He hummed, and he slipped his tongue between your lips to let you taste yourself.

          Your eyes fluttered open as you felt your legs being thrown back over your boyfriend’s shoulders and you let out a gasp as you felt Yuji’s dick slide into you. You were surprised every time – he was so huge, but a perfect fit at the same time. You let out a breathy moan as he pulled all the way out and then filled you up again. This position lets him hit the perfect spot effortlessly, and you let out pitiful whimpers as he makes love to you. 

       ��  He folded you in half as he leaned down to capture your lips yet again, swallowing your moans, and when you arched your back, he bullied himself deeper inside of you. At this point, your mind was numb and your body was on fire. Every touch made your body go crazy but, as overwhelming as it was, you couldn’t get enough. He fucks you faster, making the bed creak beneath your weight, but the thought of getting caught is pushed to the back of your brain. His tip prods at your g-spot with every thrust and, with a particularly hard one, you find yourself falling apart yet again. You creamed all over his dick as another orgasm overcame you, your toes curling and your thighs shaking underneath his firm grasp. 

          Yuji comes right after you, the feeling of your pussy twitching around him pushing him to his limit. A harsh breath escapes him as he fills you up, so much that his cum seeps out from your pussy and ends up on the thin sheets beneath you. He leans down and plants soft kisses on your neck as you both come down from your high, and your hand travels to fiddle with the pink hair on his nape. 

          You really didn’t want this moment to end.

          After tossing your clothes back on and sneaking back downstairs like nothing happened, the rest of the night goes relatively well. Everyone ended up in the living room, where your mother whipped out some photo albums and passed them around, and your father even made conversation with Yuji and they talked about typical guy stuff that didn’t interest you in the slightest. You couldn’t imagine the last time that you had talked to your parents without yelling or fussing – maybe right before you turned 15 – but this was nice. 

          Nighttime came quickly and as you and Yuji prepared to leave, you felt a hand wrap around your arm and you turned only to see your mother. “Just a minute of your time before you go?” She asks. You turn to Yuji, who is preoccupied talking to your father, then turn back to your mother and, with a simple nod, you’re following her to the foyer.

          “I’m so glad you came to see us.” She speaks so low that she’s almost whispering.

          “I’m… glad I came. Really.” You rub the back of your neck awkwardly, but before you can react, she’s hugging you for the second time that night. She smells sweet and citrusy, like a perfectly ripe tangerine. It reminded you of summertime as a kid, when you would run around in the backyard and entertain yourself for hours on end.

          “I’m so sorry.” She whispers into your ear.

          The words catch you off guard and you stiffen up.

          She takes a wavering breath and you feel a wetness on your shoulder. Was she-?

          “I didn’t mean to push you away. We didn’t.” Her voice shakes and you feel your eyes begin to sting. You bury your face on the sleeve of her dress. “I didn’t realize how much we messed up until you were gone.” She continues. “This house is empty without you here. We need you here.” 

          The material of her dress muffles your soft cries. “I… I forgive you.” You breathe and then take another sharp breath. You didn’t realize how much you needed to hear those words until now, and the words hit you hard. Your mind went back to the little kid who only wanted her mommy, and the teenager who hoped her parents would beg her to stay instead of leave. “I forgive you, okay?” All the years of arguing and butting heads didn’t exist in that moment – all you wanted was your mom and dad.

          The ride back to the motel with Yuji was quiet and the silence remained all the way to bedtime. He was already in bed when you joined him, slipping under the cheap sheets and immediately snuggling up to his muscular frame. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer.

          “So, how did you like it? Today, I mean.” His voice is lower than usual, and you know he’s about to fall asleep soon.

          “It was better than I expected.” You said. Yuji lets out a soft “mhm”, urging you to continue. “But I need to talk to you about something.”

          “I’m all ears.” His response was slow. 

          “So, I talked to my mom before we left. She apologized for everything, which is crazy to me. She cried. I cried. The whole shebang.”

          “I figured.” He shifts under you. “The two of you wander off and then come back with puffy eyes. I knew something had to happen.” He kisses your forehead. “That’s great though, babe.”

          You let out a huff. “That’s not it.” You sit up to look Yuji face to face. His eyes are half closed, but they’re still focused on you. “She said they need me there and… I’m not sure how to feel. What if I…” You pause for a moment and then shake your head. “Never mind.”

          “No, tell me.”

          You take a moment to process your thoughts. “What if I moved closer to them? So I could see them more often? I know it sounds crazy but I felt so good about today.” 

          At this, Yuji is silent, and you think he finally succumbed to his sleepiness. Then, he speaks. “You would uproot your entire life and move out here?” Oddly enough, his tone isn’t judgmental, but genuinely curious.

          “Honestly, I’m thinking about it.” You admit.

          “I know it’s not about me, but what about us? We’d have to do long distance. I’d barely get to see you.”

          “It’s not that long of a distance.” With every second that you entertain the thought of moving closer to home, the better the plan sounds. “I think we could do it.”

          Silence fills the room yet again, and you prepare yourself for a rebuttal from your boyfriend. But, instead, he mutters, “Whatever makes you happy. We’ll figure it out.” 

          You can’t stop yourself from kissing him in the dark and when you hear his breath become heavy, you know he’s asleep. You crawl off him and rest on your own stiff pillow before sleep overtakes you as well.

          Yuji woke up that night at 3 in the morning, drenched in a cold sweat. He didn’t know what woke him up, but he felt restless, despite falling asleep fairly quick earlier. He glanced at you. Your sleeping frame rose up and down with every soft breath you took, and your barely audible snores were the only thing to be heard in the motel room. Even in your sleep, you were perfect. 

          He remembered the conversation before he fell asleep. He remembered the joy laced in your voice as you revealed your plan to move back home. He remembered the way you dismissed his feelings toward it. He remembered how he held back on how he really felt, and just went along with it.

          How could you jeopardize your relationship for your parents? Parents that didn’t want a relationship with you? Parents that didn’t bother to make amends until you showed up at their door?

          He regretted bringing you there and, while he acknowledged that it might be irrational, he was angry that you would be so willing to throw him away for them. 

          Yuji didn’t know why he threw on his clothes and snuck out the motel room. He didn’t know why he cranked up the car and drove back to the farmhouse. And he didn’t know why he popped open his trunk and pulled out a crowbar before sneaking around the house and slipping inside through a window that was oh-so-carelessly left open. 

          The house was entirely different, now adorned with shadows and moonlight that slipped in through the windows. Yuji was careful with his steps, remembering how the old floorboards creaked when walked on with too much pressure. He passed through the dining room first, the table that was covered in plates and pots of food now bare and wiped clean, and then he passed through the living room, which was less homely at night, before he tip toed up the stairs.

          The upstairs was quaint compared to downstairs, so your parents’ bedroom was a breeze to find. Yuji pressed his ear against the door and held his breath – an almost comically loud snore could be heard inside, but nothing else that alarmed him. He turned the doorknob and slowly slid the door open. Your parents were statues in the bed, blissfully unaware of his presence. He crept to the side of their bed and stands over your mother. You even sleep the same as her, he notes.

          He raised his crowbar and prepared to strike her, then he lowered it again.

          This felt familiar.

          It was familiar, he remembered. A memory flashed in his brain, but it wasn’t his.

          He stood on the side of a bed, but instead of your mother being the one in bed, it was a little boy. The boy slept peacefully, the covers pulled over his head and the only thing peeking out being strands of pink hair. He looked down at his hands. Well, they weren’t his anymore. Thick black stripes – tattoos, he assumed – circled his wrists and, instead of a crowbar, the hands held a knife, which was already drenched in blood. He knew who these hands belonged to – his father.

          He – no, his father – runs the knife across the bedsheets, over the boy’s sleeping form. The blood stains the sheets as it travels up to the boy’s head and when it reaches it, the hand raises the knife for a second, but it shakes and drops the knife. The knife, thankfully, lands on the floor and there’s no attempt to pick it back up. The boy was spared. His father sits on the floor beside the bed, watching as the boy continues to sleep with no knowledge of the horrors he was almost succumbed to. His father glances at the knife and retrieves it again but he doesn’t turn it on the boy this time.

          The out of body experience comes to an end and Yuji stumbles back as he comes back to reality, and he catches himself before he can crash into the wall. He tries to catch his breath as he looks around. Your parents are still in bed, the crowbar is still in his hand, and he’s still at the farmhouse. Why did that happen? He didn’t remember much about his father, except…

          His grip on the crowbar tightens and he focuses on the task at hand. He had to do this. It was in his blood.

          He raises the crowbar over your mother and, unlike his father, he brings it down.

          The next morning, Yuji wakes up in the motel room. He doesn’t remember how he got there, but he’s glad nonetheless. You’re not in bed, but he hears movement in the bathroom. He’s happy that you’re not there to see him; he doesn’t know how he’s going to look you in your face after last night. 

          He heard your phone ring in the bathroom, and he heard you answer it. Your voice was inaudible through the bathroom door, but he heard you gasp and your tone became serious. He heard you hang up the phone and the door swung open. You stood in the doorway, your face blank.

          “What’s wrong?” Yuji asked.

          You hesitated before saying, “You remember my coworker that stood me up?” 

          Yuji’s face dropped and he felt his heart hammering in his chest. “Yeah, I remember you telling me about him.”

          “Well,” You started putting on your clothes and packing your suitcase. “He got attacked. They’re saying he’s been in a coma for a few days.”

          He… survived? 

          The next sentence you spoke spiked Yuji’s nerves.

          “And…

           He’s asking to talk to me.”

[glassbead-xx]

So I’ve been thinking about Jujutsu Kaisen since it ended, especially since I have feelings about the last arc but really liked the last chapter, and that’s when it hit me

Too much text, also spoilers

Jujutsu Kaisen shines when it’s just about the characters

I have many complaints about the series and how it fared post-Shibuya, especially because I still have lots of questions and missed opportunities that we’ll never get the chance to see resolved, but whenever it shone, it did brilliantly

Pre-Shibuya I called the characters some of the best in recent memory, hell Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara are in my top 10 of trios of all time, and would’ve been higher if only they hadn’t spent that much time apart, they are easily my favorite part of the story

How Yuuji wanted to die a good death like his grandpa told him and instead got to live so he can make memories with Megumi and Nobara

All that stuff in the ending about Yuuji trying to get Sukuna to live because he’s just that good, only for Sukuna to nope out because he chose Uraume instead, the one person that actually loved him

Megumi losing everything, and then fighting back because Yuuji told him how lonely he would be without him, especially because he still thought he had lost Nobara at the time, and also Yuuji’s reaction when Nobara came back, that was beautiful

Just the relationships that matter in this story

Gojo coming to terms with his best friend becoming evil and finding the strength to kill him, only to see him become Kenjaku’s vessel hurt so bad

Yuuta not wanting to get close to people because of Rika and then getting stronger and having him love Inumaki, Panda and especially Maki is so precious I love them so much

Maki and Mai having their differences but coming together in the most tragic way possible because yes, the system is shitty but they’re still sisters, they’re twins, and a part of Mai will always be with Maki

Mechamaru selling his soul for a chance to be with the Kyoto kids, with Miwa, only to have that chance ripped away a fight later

Just Nanamin, all about him and his influence in Yuuji

Sukuna taking over Megumi and then Gojo having to fight him, the body of the boy he raised and that he loves so much, and lose his life to him too

The moment that still gets me is when Geto tells Riko that she does have a choice and she makes it, going back home, only for Toji to shoot her the moment she was about to take Geto’s hand

The story is about love, platonic and romantic, the good and the bad, just love

Post-Shibuya the series was a mess, too many characters were introduced and aside from Higuruma, Takaba and maybe Hana, none of them did that much. Yuki was wasted, so were the Kyoto kids and Utahime, and having Nobara out of the story for more than half of it and giving an interview that made it clear she was dead for realsies, only for her to come back less than five chapters till the end was a choice

The thing I enjoyed most was the Zenin stuff, and once Maki and Noritoshi’s fight with Naoya was over it wasn’t the same for me

Gojo’s death was a choice, I wouldn’t have minded if it was done with a little more grace. The scene on the station, Yuuta and Sukuna’s reaction and Yuuji’s promise to remember him and do right by him get me, but I can’t give it too much thought because it feels like the author only did for shock value and because he hates Gojo, which he did by the way

The fights sometimes were too complicated, and that last arc, especially after Gojo dies, was rough, some decisions were eeehhh (having Tsumiki die like that really)

(Also, world building in the third to last chapter, are you for fucking for real)

Overall, it was meh, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it

I started reading Jujutsu Kaisen in late 2018-early 2019, way before its anime announcement, I never thought it would be so popular, but I’m glad it is, because my problems with the story aside I get to share my love with these characters with many people

Also, JJK 0 is now my to go Christmas movie and the ending, Sakayume, that song is beautiful, I remember listening to it nonstop for days after watching the movie, I think it was in my top 10 songs in Spotify that year

So for all its flaws, yeah it’s ok 💙

[shadamyheadcanons]

I saw a while back you were asked what your favorite interpretations of Shadow and Amy were.

While I don’t disagree (haven’t played heroes so can’t comment there, but have beat SA2) I was curious on your views over Sonic 06 version of Shadow? Ignoring the heavy problems with the game itself, I’m personally a heavy fan of the VA and how he acts.

It may be selfish of me… but I kinda wish Amy got more interactions with Shadow instead of Silver. I get WHY they did it, but I feel like it could of been nice to have them reunite and maybe even contrast the end of SA2 y’know?

First post about my favorite Shadow & Amy portrayals, SA2 and Heroes

Follow-up about Sonic Battle and Sonic Chronicles

I love both Shadow AND Amy in that game!

06 Shadow in particular has been getting a ton of interest in the past few years, and it’s wonderful to see. I considered including it in that first post about my favorites. 06 being such a failure gameplay-wise really screwed things up for the series for a long time. Sega learned all the wrong lessons. No more humans apart from Eggman. No more dark, serious plotlines. One-dimensional characters. No playable characters apart from Sonic in mainline games. None of the others can talk to anyone but Sonic. Obviously there were exceptions to this, but the series lost so much. Sonic 06 is older than most Sonic fans, but we’re only just now getting all of that back with Frontiers, IDW, etc.

This would have been bad enough on its own, but coming off the heels of Sonic 06, it hurt that much more. Sega decided Team Dark weren’t friends directly after their most poignant interactions. Shadow knew who he was. He knew what was important. And he knew he could trust the best friends by his side. When’s the last time he was so self-assured? That’s the downside of the 06 timeline being erased in the end. We know Shadow and Team Dark’s potential, but he doesn’t remember any of it.

That said, I’m ultimately still glad it’s erased. I’d hate for Shadow to go through life knowing the humans would reprogram his own best friend to hunt him down and lock him up forever. It says great things about Shadow, but it makes me like the humans a lot less.

It’s thanks to 06 that I consider Shadow to be the biggest hero in the franchise. This clip encompasses everything that makes his heroism unique:

“If the world chooses to become my enemy...I will fight like I always have.”

Iconic. Badass. I love the way he drops his inhibitors as he talks. This is Jason Griffith’s delivery at its best.

Sonic fights to protect his friends and the planet he calls home, along with the humans and Mobians who all love him, but there are SO MANY people who’ve treated Shadow like filth, and he still protects them. There’s no one else in canon who’s that selfless, and I also like that 06 doesn’t lean on Maria as the reason he does all this. Shadow himself is a good person and does good things for his own reasons, not just because she told him to.

Heroes proved this, too. Shadow didn’t even remember Maria in that game, but he still made the right call. Maria’s important, but she’s not the only reason he’s a good person.

Jason Griffith does a very good job as Shadow here and elsewhere, but David Humphrey is and always will be my favorite Shadow VA. If Jason is an A-rank, David is S-ranked. I’d be thrilled to have either of them back.

You’ll never see me judge anyone for wanting more Shadow/Amy interactions. I’ve thought the same thing with 06, and I love the Silver/Amy bits, too. She has an adorable scene with him AND starts him on the path to redemption. It’s the Amy Rose Special. I also like how she and Shadow inadvertently worked together to turn him around. Amy raised a question Silver hadn’t thought to ask, and Shadow showed him the answer.

But what this demonstrates to me is that this didn’t have to be an either/or situation.

It would’ve been nice for Amy to reunite with Silver and see how he turned things around. They were both there for the final battle, but they didn’t speak to each other. What if they’d had a scene with all three of them together? I hypothesized about that possibility in headcanon #99.

Side note: I just want to say that I think Amy is great in 06. She has the same cute accidental hug/elevator speech combo she used to turn Shadow around in SA2, but people sleep on it in 06 for some reason. On top of that, a lot of fans willfully misinterpret one particular line of hers. And anyone who knows Sonic 06 knows which one that is.

“If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!”

I’ve seen so many people say she’s a dumb, ridiculous fangirl for this, and I can’t stand it. She’s not saying the rest of the world doesn’t matter, she’s saying that she has so much faith in Sonic as a person that she’d take his side even if the rest of the world said he was wrong. And, uh...she has good reason to! It’s not the first time he’s been falsely accused of something. It’s like these fans conveniently forgot what happened in SA2 the second they saw an opportunity to hurl insults at Amy.

You know what Amy’s line reminds me of most?

“Even if you believe everyone in the world will be against you, know that I’ll always remain by your side. Remember that.”

Yeah. That line everyone loves about ultimate loyalty for someone you care about. The line that many consider to be Rouge’s best. The only difference is that Rouge is a calm young adult talking about a friend, while Amy was an upset young girl whose feelings were too big for careful phrasing and restraint. Combine that with how much hate there was for her at the time, and you have a great, dedicated line absolutely drowned in ice-cold, bad faith takes from the fandom. And Silver needed that fervor to make him question Mephiles, too! It had to be her! It was because he saw how strongly she felt about Sonic that he started having second thoughts. You think a calm statement like Rouge’s could have made him back down from attempted murder?

Much like with Shadow in SA2, it had to be Amy. 06 did a great job with her. Some fans still need to wise up about it. They’ve been recognizing how awesome 06 Shadow is, so maybe, just maybe, they’ll do the same for Amy someday.

[rogerswifesblog]

Better than boys

My Masterlist

Pairing: Boyfriends!Dad!Andy Barber x reader

Warnings; cheating, age gap (Andy is 49, reader 24), smut, angst (more will be updated soon)

You always thought you had the worst boyfriends. They'd cheat. Lie. Disregard your feelings. Break up with you by disappearing. Everyone says you deserve them. It’s your fault. Your friends say so. Your father says so. Your mother says so.

Until there's Andy.

Andy, who tells you you deserve way better.

The only problem with Andy?

He’s not your boyfriend.

But his son is.

* means the chapter contains smut

Chapter 1 *

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Drabbles/Thoots/other

Road trip

Andy gets a bit bored during a road trip.

A/N: another series? Yep. Inspirited by this post(and our conversation). Show some love to @jamneuromain who wrote this summary and helped me planning this whole thing 😋🤭

I don’t know when I’ll start posting it, for now I’ve written the first chapter but since I have other series going on I’ll try to finish one of the older ones before starting with this one. But you can send me Drabbles/HCs/thoots etc to my inbox;) I love writing little drabbles for you especially when you’ve questions about any of my series<3

Wanna be tagged? Be active (feedback and reblogging not just liking!) and let me know!<3

[kataraslove]

I just stumbled across your acc and I gotta say, I agree with alotta ur takes

Ur sooo well spoken and I really enjoy reading your thoughts and opinions

Katara is one of my favorite characters and it makes me really happy to see someone appreciate her and her writing

Ngl a lot of atla fans r lowkey braindead so ur acc is pretty refreshing

Thanks for posting!! 🩷

thank you! 🩷 your words are too kind. i appreciate it.

i did mention this before, but this blog stemmed kind of entirely out of spite. i was sick and tired of fandom on here telling me that there was only one way to interpret and enjoy my favourite character, dictating who i could or could not ship her with and how much of a stan that made me. it’s not an experience just unique to the atla fandom, of course. it’s becoming something more apparent nowadays especially, the ways in which multiple readings and interpretations of a character is heavily discouraged by fandom in favour of just one.

it’s baffling how, for so many years, there was a strict binaric interpretation of katara’s character, with 0 being non-canon and 1 being completely in favour of all things canon. either you had to vehemently agree with everything that bryke wrote for katara’s within atla and post-canon, to the point where i have seen people defend the lack of statues of her as “oh, she probably didn’t want one anyway,” (NO!!) or you had to have deep-rooted anger and rejection for all things that were done to her story, in the guise of katara deserving better.

katara does deserve better narratively, but NOT in the ways that the tumblr fandom thinks she should have. not in the ways that she should be ambassador to the fire nation, or become firelady (a racist depiction in fanon and nothing but a decorative title in canon) and live out the rest of her life by zuko’s side, serving and prioritizing zuko’s nation.

“but wouldn’t it be empowering if katara sat on the throne of her oppressors and got to dictate - “ no. it’s not. stop advocating for that type of ending for women from oppressed and marganized groups. stop acting like that is the ideal future that katara wanted this whole time, that ruling as part of a foreign monarchy that decimated your people and your culture is the ultimate threshold for liberation.

i’ve seen people who claim to take a doylist perspective for critique of atla (read: kataang)’s writing completely lose all comprehension when it comes to critically assessing post-canon zutara. by that i mean, if we continue with the writing direction that we saw for all of the female atla characters in the sequel series, a zutara endgame would position katara in a worse outcome than she got narratively. but you tell anyone that and it’s an instant “zuko would have given her 10 statues!!”

but most importantly, nothing has radicalized me more over this year than seeing the “katara deserves better (in the form of zuko)” crowd, the same crowd who is currently dreading any form of fixing or retcons from avatar studios in upcoming content, defend the hell out of natla katara’s writing. the very same people who were praising katara’s arc to the stars, stating that it was nearly complete until the two grown men decided to pair her up with aang and ruined all at the end.

well, what about the group of zutara shippers in the natla writer’s room who handed her everything in the narrative, who removed her flaws, her anger, her compassion, who stripped her down to everything except hope, all in the name so that she wouldn’t appear unlikable to audiences. i mean, that tremendously backfired for them, because now the young actress who plays katara is getting hate spewed at her for failing to portray katara interestingly, when the problem has always been the shit writing.

anyway, i appreciate this message! glad i could be of service and it’s nice that you’re a zuko fan who ships kataang! lots of people who love zuko do.

“a lot of atla fans are braindead” LMAO you can say that again!!!

[shinakazami1]

I’ve received notice that there was a callout on me in the Stanley Parable Creator’s Club server and I would like to address it as I am a bit tired of people talking behind my back. I wasn't contacted by anyone from the server directly about the issue. 

The specific accusations were that I openly discussed a fic with NSFW themes to a minor, shared NSFW fic online without properly warning it for minors, and encouraged a self insert ship of one of my Narrator designs with a minor. 

These accusations are false, or blown entirely out of proportion. I have never intended to hurt people nor endanger minors and based on screenshots I've received, people have been spreading even more extreme misinformations, like me being a groomer. I want to tell the story with the mentioned earlier things, in hopes to clear up this matter and stop the harassment me and people received. 

1) Sharing NSFW Fic Online

I have been informed that I posted a link to my fic, "A broken promise", without a proper warning. 

I did put appropriate warning in the tags, however I did forget about archive warnings options and I misjudged that the T rating would suffice. I also had only mentioned the rape in tags and not in the ao3 warning. I will be more careful when publishing work in the future.

I've deleted the links on my posts and privated the work, as I do not want anyone else to get possibly harmed.

2) Filk

I was informed my never written fic was discussed in the discord as well with a completely incorrect premise and I would like to mention the idea to give people more insight into what it actually is supposed to be, despite the fact that it was never actually written. 

Filk (Fernator's milk) is based on a joke someone made from another fic of mine, "Bon appetit 1.5 - Chicken soup is served " where Stanley buys milk and pickles, and we called it pilk. Somebody made a joke that this is like a pregnancy craving and I decided that that would make a funny CRACK fic premise. Again, I never have written this fic, and the only place it ever existed was in a series of messages in a private discord.

The whole point of crack fics is that it has a stupid premise. In here, it was one of my Narrator's, Fernator, telling Stanley he would make him pregnant. I know that this sounds like the problem, but that was just a premise.

What really happens in the fic is that Fernator tells Stanley about human reproduction but after that, the majority of the fic is a sfw adventure on how viruses, bacteria, and plants reproduce. 

With bacteria, Stanley just gets copied, with viruses, Fernator creates a computer virus and it doesn't work so they move on, and with plant, the title filk comes in which is milk with fern spores in it. It ends up just in Stanley's foot. The end goal was for them to just get the cutout Baby as their child and then, the main fic that I talked about would end. After a while, they would realise they didn't really succeed and would try to make something, pouring filk onto Fernator and creating Pickle Rick.

The accusations of this being a non con confuse me as Stanley is happy to be brought onto this journey and there are no actual sexual activities involved in this not written project. 

3) Art with minor

One person was very supportive of one of my Narrators, Jester (they drew him a bit), and even started to call him their husband. Since they're my friend, I wanted to make them happy, so I drew something I deemed wholesome and platonic. They also took my drawing this way. 

In my eyes at the time, when I made the art, I never thought of this 'ship' as anything other than admiration for a design. 

However, that context got lost when they reposted my art on that server with my permission. 

I now see how people could think otherwise and I will be far more wary about this topic in the future.

However, while the announcement didn't use the exact word 'groomer', it highly implied it. I feel wronged for that as I received a lot of harassment in my direct messages. 

I would like a statement and an apology from the announcers because their words caused a lot of harm.

4) Conclusion

I want to finish this off with being honest about the mistakes I've made of not properly checking sfw spaces - which started all this - and talking about suggestive matters within them. The fanfiction link was certainly a slip up but I will be more careful in the future of what I post. 

However - I also want to say that it's not okay to harass people who got involved in this.

I myself have received false accusations already and seen my work be misinterpreted. I only learnt about this through buds giving me a notice and I do ask, if a similar situation would ever occur, which I don't plan on, to message me directly first about my mistake.

In the future, I will remember to double check where I discuss my fic ideas and I'll do everything in my power for this situation not to repeat. 

Thank you for reading.