#that’s not very nice now I’m upset
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touyafootfetish · 2 months ago
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NOOO SOMEONE BROUGHT UP THE “did you lose a bet?” THING FOR ALL MIGHT IN HIS SKINNY FORM 😕💔
evil i tell you. EVIL.
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deepseawave · 4 months ago
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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crystallizsch · 4 months ago
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If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better ♡♡♡
wagdhdjjs thank uuu anon 🥺 i needed this 🫶🫶💖💖💕💕
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nowshesdoingitallthetime · 6 months ago
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They’re changing our work uniform from black to green… let me fucking quit rn. The new shirts are UGLY and I cannot believe this
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autumnsoldier13 · 9 months ago
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lilgynt · 1 year ago
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moms WILL make sure you cry once a day at least
#personal#i’ve been cleaning my room all day and#that doesn’t effect anything but mid crying i’m just muttering i didn’t do anything bc at this point it’s a comfort mantra for when my#family fucks around with me randomly.#anyway so my mom calls and said she was talking with a friend and i got brought and so did my issues#and she got me these expensive vitamins and im steadily getting sadder/ more annoyed during the call and crying silently#and i saw yes to taking them and she keeps going and i’m like mom i said yes#and she’s like it’s just a conversation and i tell her i’m just upset bc the move for my mental health is#ignoring any issue i bring up then buying me expensive gifts so i can’t talk about said issue#and i was like i want to be clear. this is extremely nice gesture. thank you. thank you very much#and she’s like i can never do anything nice for you#so i’m like maybe we can hold off on nice gifts or treats and focus on communicating or get pass these door issue#and she just went silent like she always does so i just said never mind thank you and we hung up#and now i’m crying in bed feeling utterly alone cause it’s not like i can reach out to either of my brothers#and i feel resentment for ben grow everyday just bc he gets to live his life after doing that to me#and i have to live with the consequences of his actions everyday#and everyone keeps saying their not blaming me for it and then treating me like shit#i m just gonna stop talking to my mom as much for a while i’m not talking to either of my brothers if i can help it but#i just let her slide even tho she’s literally begging me to get back harder with my ed
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theamazingannie · 10 months ago
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The people who throw little baby fits and dismiss people because they have pronouns in their bios are so funny to me because I have a very feminine name, can’t think of any male people with my name, and yet I STILL get misgendered on social media. I’ve been called he SO MANY TIMES. FOR NO REASON. It’s not even something I personally get that upset about it’s mostly just annoying because if *I* can get misgendered then people without names as their display name will also get misgendered and that is THE WHOLE POINT OF PRONOUNS IN BIO
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sensitivegoblin · 2 years ago
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I’m gonna need the minors to stop following me because is I have to block one more cocky shit who KNOWS they’re not supposed to be here I’m inventing a ray so that I can shoot you all when you interact with my blog and throw out the ashes
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friedroses · 2 years ago
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#you guys ever just get that random urge to burst into tears over something very small#i felt stupid bc I asked a friend in a different timezone if they wanted to talk on the phone when it was like midnight there#they said they couldn’t sleep so my ass was like oh do u wanna talk then#as if that’s not the opposite of what they’re trying to do#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning#and were very sweet about it#and i’m not upset with them at all but i just got so upset with myself#like i felt stupid and selfish to ask because i know it’s really me that wants the company and it feels like i can’t talk to anyone anymore#every friend reaches a point where they get tired of me and can’t handle it anymore so they leave#and i understand! i’m a lot. even for myself#and i don’t know how to stop being unlikeable and unloveable and just shut the fuck up for oncr becsusr i always a say too much#i can never leave well enough alone#and i cry so easily now it’s annoying#even my family members have all gotten sick of me#my mom started screaming at me the other day and basically told me that I’m annoying and she dislikes me#and i couldn’t even acknowledge her for 3 days not bc i was trying to be petty but bc i could not handle seeing her#without thinking about what she said#and she’s still fucking pissed at me for the original conversation where I was asking if we could divide the cleaning in the house equally#or at least more equally. bc everything gets so messy and cluttered and it stresses me out so much#and i feel like i’m the only one cleaning up after 3 other adults who don’t give any consideration to leaving shit everywhere#and she basically told me to shut tf up and stop trying to act like i’m her parent#as if she didn’t parentify the fuck out of me as a child and use me as a therapist and tell me to be the bigger person every time my older#sister did something fucked up to me#and she- my mom- is being hella passive aggressive now and the vibes are just so toxic i feel like i can’t breathe ar home#like i just want to sleep i don’t want to be home or even conscious#i’m so tired of making myself as tiny as I can and still being made to feel like i take up too much space#emotionally and physically#i just want it to be over#and i want to tell someone but i don’t want to burden anyone or talk too much bc it’s all negative and i don’t want them to get tired of me#i finally made some friends through school and it’s fun to be in a group of people again but i’m so scared i’m going to ruin it
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checkontherep · 6 months ago
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please tell me why a boy i’m talking to calling me pretty has sent me spiraling
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beloveds-embrace · 11 days ago
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(Arranged marriage to duke john price except it means you married four instead of one 👁️👁️)
Your marriage to Duke Price is one out of necessity: you need a husband before high society begins rumoring you to be a barren woman and too old to be married off, and Duke Price needs a wife who is able to take on Duchess duties of his duchies.
You do not expect love, though you suppose it’d be a nice bonus. You are merely glad that Duke Price is a reasonable handsome man, and he informs you on your wedding night that he will not force himself on you, and there is no need to immediately begin attemtping for an heir.
You take admirably to your new duties, have been raised practically for this purpose though the head butler Kyle is wonderful in helping you as well- actually all the servants have been wonderful towards you. You have regular dinners with John, though they are a bit stilted but at least Chef Johnny’s food is good enough you can easily forget the tense atmosphere. You can tell your husband is hiding something- you are sometimes barred from going to his office to him, certain rooms are not allowed for you, and you are not allowed anywhere near the letters addressed to him- but as long as it isn’t hurting you, why should you bother him? So you never ask, and he seems happy enough that you don’t.
Until you accidentally stumble upon him and Duke Riley exchanging tongues. Very heatedly, hands grasping and tugging on each other’s clothes and Duke Riley sat on your husband’s desk.
It’s hot.
What’s not so hot is the way they both look at you when they realize you are there. You stutter, face a red so fierce it’d put a furnace to shame, and bolt out of the room despite hearing John call your name.
And you also skip out on the dinners for now, pretending you are sick with the help of your maids and their makeup skills.
But suddenly, it’s like your eyes have been opened. It’s not just Duke Riley who seems to hold a part of your husband’s heart; the one time you gather enough courage to maybe go speak with John and address the situation, you see Kyle stumbling out all disheveled and flushed, though he has a very satisfied air around him. He freezes when he sees you, and your jaw drops.
“My lady-“
“I- I’ll just- I’m taking a walk! Alone!”
You go to the kitchens instead, hoping that Johnny would have something delicious you can eat. Maybe something cold enough to wash away the blush on your cheeks.
Johnny is weirdly silent, however, even as he whips up chocolate mousse for you. His silence is not normal, it feels… almost guilty…
You sighs, take in a deep breath, and gather your dress. “Johnny… are you too…-?”
“Aye, m’lady. But-“
You can’t take it anymore. You leave the kitchens, and go straight back to your bedroom to bury your face in your bed. It’s not as if you are upset! It’s just- a rather befuddling situation?
Two nights later, it’s John himself who comes to you. You had assumed it was one of your maids returning with a new jar of oil for your nightly hair routine, but it’s your husband. You are glad it’s winter, and you aren’t simply in a thin nightgown.
“Wife.” He says, voice steady yet strained.
“John.”
You can’t call him husband. You’ve spent the last two days thinking and you were… rather sad. You were in the way of whatever they had (you saw Kyle and Johnny kissing, Johnny specifically sending food addressed to Duke Riley), weren’t you?
John sighs, sitting down on the settee while you remain on your vanity. After a moment of awkward silence, he opens his eyes and looks at you. “…what do you want to remain silent about this?”
You blink, raising an eyebrow. “…huh?”
John’s fists clench. “How much do you want in return for your silence?”
Frowning, you set your brush down and fully turn to him even if you feel exposed despite your thicker nightgown. “Is this about your… partners?” You say the word delicately, then shake your head. “I want nothing, John. If you are worried about me starting anything, I won’t. I just… hope this doesn’t mean you will divorce me?”
Being a divorced woman might as well be a death sentence on its own.
He looks at you, shocked into silence, and you quickly explain; his relationships have nothing to do with you and you aren’t a petty woman, who are you to come between what he and they have? You only hope this won’t take away the protection this marriage gave you.
That night, thus, you and John reach an agreement you are sure both of you are satisfied with.
Except, months later, John is no longer satisfied.
With the ice broken between the two of you. The dinners have become so much more… relaxing and comfortable, far less than they had been. No secrecy was needed when you were around anymore, and you only giggle and look away, feigning innocence when they share tender kisses between one another… and the less polite kisses.
John can’t remain satisfied with this arrangement. You are such a sweet thing, now that he’s become to know you far better. He can see the way his men are looking at you now, something between fondness and hunger and want; Kyle helps you far more often now, despite your insistence that you can do it yourself. Even when you do it yourself, he stays by you and ensures you are comfortable.
And he joins your evening walks, arms looped as the two of you speak, laughing and giggling.
It’s similar to your late night chats with Johnny, where he plies your full of sweets and desserts until even your dreams are full of sweeter kisses you are sure will never be for you. Johnny, who cooks your favorites on hard days and who you heard from Kyle is even more serious about only having the best of the best in vegetables and meats and seasonings.
And Duke Riley… for all his stoicism, he is gentle with you. Even when he’d stared at you with doubt and mistrust, no doubt believing you to be lying to John and simply waiting for the shoe to drop and for you to ruin them. Yet it never happens, and now, during the galas you attend all dolled up on John’s arm and ignoring all murmurs about still having no children, you even dance with him and giggle at his terribly dry jokes, even share a few of your own with him.
Steadily, slowly, obliviously, John has watched each of his men fall for you. This, obviously, made you theirs. It made you his, more and more than you already were.
It’s why your current request is making him clench his glass in his hand, with Kyle looking on in displeasure as well, giving him subtle glances.
“-So that’s why I was asking, John,” you remain sweetly oblivious, adorned in a pretty dress Simon had gotten for you recently. “He will not spread any rumors, I’ll personally make sure of that-”
Your cheeks darken then, and you glance away. “I- I am… merely a bit- unsatisfied, if you understand my point. And the stable man is loyal to you, he wouldn’t say anything.”
It’s clear he needs to keep a better watch over you. Where and when did you even interact with his stable boy, Graves? Though he focused on your words.
Unsatisfied.
Well, he can’t have that, can he? You’ve done your wifely duties so admirably, it’s about time he took care of you as well… and maybe dealt with the baseless barren rumors as well. A baby would keep you nice and content and focused on them alone, wouldn’t it?
Oh yes. Yes, it would.
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voiceshearingyouloud · 9 months ago
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Thanks to my partner’s wise words (that I initially found invalidating but they were totally right) I realised that all this trying to divine my mother’s motivations in her treatment of me is actually futile. I keep feeling like my pain would be more valid if she was doing it on purpose versus by accident, but the crucial difference is that when we think that someone doing something by accident is less hurtful, it’s because generally in those situations the person has admitted it was an accident and in doing so likely acknowledged the hurt and apologised. Even if my mum is hurting me because she’s emotionally immature and not because she’s masterminding the process of gaslighting me, it’s not any easier on me unless she properly apologises and acknowledges the pain.
Until then, since her motives are unknowable to me, it’s basically between her and G-d so to speak and I have to deal with the feelings it causes me without invalidating them by saying it’s “not on purpose”. Because if she doesn’t apologise to me or admit her mistakes or tell me anything kind that isn’t trying to manipulate me then how am I supposed to believe her anyway?
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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~ ~ ~
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moonstruckme · 1 month ago
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Hi!! Could you please write something for Spencer where r is used to men being like really loud and rough and all that (maybe bc of her father or smth) and just her getting used to how gentle Spencer is and almost thinking it’s too good to be true?
Thank you for requesting angel <3
Spencer Reid x fem!reader ♡ 905 words
It happens when you’re still half asleep. You fumble for your phone on Spencer’s nightstand, your alarm chiming, and knock a picture frame off instead. You’re fully awake by the time you hear the sound of glass shattering against the floor. 
You mumble a curse. Spencer hums questioningly into his pillow. 
You get down from the bed, managing to step over the glass, but you’re not thinking clearly enough. When you sink onto your knees, little shards prick the skin. You pick the frame up carefully. It’s a picture of Spencer and his mom. An old one, of her chasing a three or four-year-old Spencer around someone’s yard. They’re both laughing, her arms outstretched towards him and his face turning to look over his shoulder. It’s obviously a sentimental photo. 
Your cursing intensifies, though you keep it internal now. You feel awful. 
Spencer’s head appears over the edge of the bed as you’re scraping the glass into a pile. His eyes are half-open, expression still weighted with drowsiness. 
“What happened?” he asks. 
There’s no accusation in his tone, but you feel suddenly teary. You haven’t fought with Spencer yet, and you weren’t expecting to be yelled at first thing this morning. You suppose you’ve earned it, though. 
“Spence, I’m so sorry.” 
“What are you doing?” 
“I—I knocked over your picture. The frame broke. I feel awful, I’ll get you a new one o—or I can replace the glass if the frame is important to you.” 
“What?” Spencer blinks, brows furrowed as though he’s having trouble grasping this. “No, it’s—stop. Don’t do that.” 
You still, looking up at him hesitantly with your hands cupped around the glass pile. “What do you want me to do?” 
“You can’t clean glass up with your hands.” He shuffles his way out from under the covers, taking a big step over the class to stand behind you. His hands wrap around your elbows. “Get away from there.” 
His tone conveys some upset, but not nearly as much as you were prepared for. And his grip on your arms is gentle. You can’t make sense of it. 
You let him guide you into the bathroom, sitting up on the counter when he prompts you. Spencer takes your hands in his, looking them over and brushing his fingers lightly across your palms before determining there’s no glass in them. His eyes skim you over. When they land on your knees, his expression pinches. 
“Why did you do this?” You expect him to grasp your knee roughly, but his fingers wrap around it with care, thumb rubbing over the soft underside as though to soothe you. 
“I wasn’t thinking,” you say softly. “I feel so bad about the picture with your mom, I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s okay.” Spencer sounds surprised. His eyes flit up to yours, soft brown, curious. “I can get a new frame. You didn’t need to hurt yourself.” 
“Well, I didn’t do it on purpose.” Your voice drops to a murmur as Spencer bends down, opening a drawer to take out first aid supplies. 
He pulls each tiny piece of glass from your knees with heart-aching care. One hand stays on the back of whichever knee he’s working on, to steady him and to comfort you, and it’s a slow, attentive, tender process. Gradually, a realization seeps into you. 
Spencer isn’t going to blow up at you. Maybe someday, but not about this, not over just anything. You’re not sure how you could have been so expectant of someone who’s been nothing but kind and gentle with you turning harsh and forceful at the first upset. 
You don’t even wince as Spencer cleans up your knees. He’s careful to give you no reason to, every touch considerate and sweet. He straightens after smoothing bandages over the cuts, still holding your lower thighs in his hands. 
“That wasn’t a very nice way to wake up,” he says. “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah,” you say, but you hold your arms out for a hug anyway. 
Spencer’s happy to oblige you, his hips fitting between your legs and palms sliding across your back. He smells like sleep. You hook your chin over his shoulder, contentment filling your belly like warm honey. 
“You seemed upset,” he murmurs, a question if you choose to answer it. 
“I was nervous,” you admit. “I thought you’d be mad.” 
“For knocking the frame over?”
“Mhm. I still feel really bad.” 
Spencer draws a line between your shoulders. “Don’t feel bad. You didn’t do it on purpose.” 
You hum. “You’re a lot less loud than most guys, do you know that?” 
He pauses. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No.” You pull away from him, cradling his face in your hand. “I’m just not used to it, is all. I keep expecting you to yell at me, but that doesn’t seem like it’s really your thing.” 
“I guess I don’t think of it as my thing,” Spencer agrees, mouth curving as he repeats your words. “My mom says I was always a quiet kid. I guess I just never thought yelling would get me anywhere.” 
“Don’t start.” You grin, and his cheek dimples under your palm. “I like you like this.” 
“Okay, I’ll try not to.” He tilts his face into your touch. His hands drop back to your knees, skimming down the unharmed sides next to the bandages. “And you shouldn’t get angry at yourself on my behalf anymore, either.”
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luveline · 4 months ago
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helloooo, how are you? i’ve been rewatching criminal minds and i finally got to the post-prison part, so i’m really missing shy!r and post prison spencer <33 if you’re felling up to writing something for them again, i would love to see it!! maybe when they kiss for the first time or something else (completely up to you, i would love anything that you write hahah) but if you’re not really feeling it at the moment, please don’t worry about it, it’s so understandable 🩷 have the best day!!
ty for your request I love first kisses <3
Spencer takes you for a walk and explains a couple of courting rituals. shy fem!reader, 1.5k
Profiling is still very hard, but seven months into your new job at the BAU, you’ve become proficient in Spencer Reid. You can tell when he’s eager to work, when he’s down about something, when he’s feeling good. He holds himself differently on his good days, he takes care to coil his hair and wears a clean pair of shoes. 
In the bullpen, he’s sitting at his desk beside yours, craned over a desk covered in loose papers, books, and files. You attempt to hide your approach, lest he startle. 
“Good morning,” he says. 
“Good morning.” Can’t hide anything. He’s been an agent for ninety percent of his adult life. “What are you doing?” 
“Just reading.” 
You sit at your desk, clearing a space for your bag among your own mess of files and books. Your monitor turns on with a nudge of the mouse. Your screen is filled swiftly by notifications and Outlook, then the FBI messaging system, and then the ‘filing cabinet’ Garcia built to help you understand the insanity that is the BAU online system. It submerges you every morning regardless. 
“What are you reading about?” you ask. Your emails can’t wait, but you don’t want to read them, so you won’t for another ten minutes. 
He stumbles over a breath. 
“Spencer?” 
“It’s courtship rituals.” 
You regret asking. Whenever you and Spencer talk about feelings, or love, or romance, you end up hot as a kettle on a stovetop, steam billowing from your ears. You choked on a mouthful of lukewarm tea a few days ago when he’d mentioned America's developing hook-up culture. 
He doesn’t tell you any more, which is unlike him. Spencer Reid loves to talk, or loves to share what he’s learned. You looked it up —it’s called info-dumping, and it’s usually because the person telling you is so deeply fascinated by the topic they’re investigating that they can’t contain it. It’s a common symptom of ADHD, or autism, or both. Spencer’s done it since the day you met, which is nice. You feel like he trusts you. 
And so you’re wondering now if you’ve done something to make him think he can’t do it today. Or maybe he’s not feeling well. 
You prop your face in his hand and watch him. 
He doesn’t look upset, only focused. 
You hate quiet. You love not talking, but gaps of silence have you overthinking things. Maybe he’s mad. Maybe you’ve finally pissed him off. 
It’s scary because he’s amazingly kind. Overwhelmingly nice. He’s lovely and good looking but it’s his heart that shocks you every time, how he’s looked after you, defended you.
“Spencer, are you okay?” you ask. 
He blinks to attention. “What?” 
“You’re not talking.” 
He grins. “I’m thinking.” 
His smile when he looks like he’s about to laugh is everything. 
“Don’t think too much,” you say as you play with a button on your coat. “Isn’t that what you always tell me?” 
“Don’t think too much because you think about things you don’t need to,” he amends. “You worry about everything.” 
“Well, so do you.” 
“Exactly. I’ll worry enough for you, too.” Spencer gives you a smile you don’t understand. “Will you come to the archive with me? I want to talk to you about something.” 
“Spencer…” He just acknowledged that you worry about everything. 
“Sorry,” he laughs. “Something with no pressure. I’ll explain it as we walk.” 
You shed your coat and walk together out of the BAU offices down a long hallway. You take the elevator down to the ground level, spring air in the hallways, early morning sunshine lapping at your shoes where it’s settled golden against the marble floor. Spencer professes that it’s nothing to worry about again, but he doesn’t elaborate, and your heart begins to pulse too quickly. 
You can’t look at him. 
“I’ve been reading about these courtship rituals and… looking at which ones are the best. There are thousands of them, but contemporary courting isn’t easy. It confuses me. With my last, my only girlfriend, we wrote each other letters. But I wanted this time to be different, because– because love is different?” He grimaces. 
“Love is different,” you agree. You’re not sure who he means, your chest panging in two different beats. Is he… talking about you? “It’s different every time.” 
“I was looking for the more subtle rituals. I kept thinking I’d find the right one, and that I’d know it when I saw it, but I can’t find anything suitable and I might need your help. Um, if you even want to help me.” 
“Of course I do.” 
Spencer slows just outside of the archive’s door. “Everything I read about feels like it would just embarrass you. I picture buying you flowers and I feel like you’d just– just explode.” He says it with affection and apology alike. “I wrote you a poem. Emily told me not to give it to you, though.” 
“You wrote me a poem?” 
“I made you a love spoon, too, but I can’t whittle, and it looks terrible. I even cut my hand, and if you rejected me you’d have to give the spoon back and I think that would make it worse.” 
You turn completely still. The last thing you expected that morning was for Spencer to confess. And he is confessing, a small smile on his face, patience, nervousness, close enough to feel the heat of him beside you. You short circuit in an attempt to compute the magnitude of it; Spencer wants to court you, and you can’t handle it. 
Your exhale shudders out of you. Goosebumps attack your arms. 
“Sorry,” he says quietly, “are you okay?” 
“Spencer, I don’t think you could ever find a way to tell me that wouldn’t make me feel like this.” 
“How do you feel?” 
“How am I supposed to feel?” 
Spencer’s smile fades a touch. “I don’t know. You can feel how you want to feel, it isn’t up to me. But I have feelings for you. I thought you knew.” 
It’s like knowing that the lottery numbers were chosen specifically to match your ticket. The thing he’s talking about doesn’t make sense. 
“Are you kidding around?” you ask. 
“What? No.” He holds your wrist gently. “Of course not.” 
You swallow a lump and try not to overreact, though you’re already doing that. This is a good thing, it is, but he’s him and you’re you and every time he touches you it’s like fireworks are bursting warm and tingly over your skin. You smile at his chest, cheeks dimpling from how wide it stretches. 
“You don’t have to court me, um. Not in any way like that. I’m just like every other girl, you know? I like flowers. I,” —your cheek lists down toward your shoulder bashfully— “probably would feel a little embarrassed, but I like flowers. I can get you flowers.” 
Spencer really laughs. “You want to get me flowers?” 
“Maybe?” 
He laughs again. His eyes lock onto you and his open hand closes on the opposite arm, putting you face to face. “It was my idea,” he says, playfully argumentative. 
“Okay.” 
“You want to hear the poem?” he asks, quietening again. 
You nod slowly. “N’I wanna see the spoon.” 
“Can I please kiss you?” He takes a breath, like he’s been running. “I know this isn’t the right place, but I didn’t expect to want it this badly.” 
“I don’t think there’s a wrong place…” 
“So I can?” he asks, lifting a hand to your cheek, to hold you with care. 
You nod into his approach, find yourself kissed and held tightly in a split-second of warmth and warm smells. His nose touches yours in a kiss of their own, his lips part lightly before pressing in again. Two kisses lend to a third, but then he pulls away to look at you. As quickly as it started, it’s over. 
“You're overheating already,” he says, thumb rubbing a sweet path under your cheek. 
You don’t know what to say. He ducks his head just that little bit to make sure you’re okay. Understanding flows between you both. His hand falls behind your back to pull you in for a hug. 
“I’ve never been the confident one in any of my relationships,” he admits. 
“I usually am.” 
Your deadpan lights him up. His hug turns strong armed, and he walks you back, giggling, arms a comforting vice around you. “You can be the shy one this time,” he says, seemingly unaware of how his using the word ‘relationship’ has thrown you for another loop. 
You’re hot as a furnace all morning. Spencer makes excuses for you, but Emily’s amazing at her job. 
“Jesus, Spence, you didn’t read her the poem? I told you it was too much.” 
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eccentricwritingbaby · 4 months ago
Text
sex ban
carlos sainz jr x reader
summary - carlos puts down a sex ban in order to try and improve his racing performance. after he caves and realizes he can’t do it, you place your own sex ban to get payback. and it’s killing the both of you. 
warnings - smut
masterlist
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carlos had been down and out with his performance recently, nervous about his impending unemployment. you knew he was stressing out and pushing himself harder than ever. every morning before the sun was even up he was out running, cycling, in the gym, you name it. you could tell he was losing his energy more than usual because your late night activities were consistent with you being only on top.
you and carlos had a very passionate and constant sex life. it was wild and lustful, a trait that didn’t waiver in your four years together. that was until recently. carlos was clearly drained and tired from his all day activities that the nightly ones had dwindled. while he was stressed, it was usually taken out on you in a pure day through night sexcapade as he fucked you every which way in every room and every position. 
your worry grew stronger as the sex stopped sporadically throughout the day and began only at nightime. even then, he was too tired to truly give you his all, ending up with you on top and exerting all the energy. riding him was nice, and you enjoyed the position, but you needed to be really fucked. thrown onto the mattress, handprints and bite marks to clean up the next morning. but all of that came to a worse halt when carlos arrived home in the evening from a day with his trainer. 
“hola, mi reina,” he sighs out, letting out a groan as he sat next to you on the couch, muscles clearly about to give out. 
“hola, mi amor,” you gently greet, leaning forward to give him a hug and kiss in greeting, “how was your workout?”
“good, i’m sore right now but i should be okay for tomorrow,” he grunts again, attempting to lean back into the couch. 
“los, are you sure you’re alright?” you ask again, your eyebrows pulling in concern, “you seem like you’re very sore,”
“no no,” he assures quickly, “i’m fine, just went a little hard today,” he cranes his neck to get a good look at you, the pain in his eyes evident as you stare into them.
“do you need a massage?” you quietly ask, beginning to run your hands down his chest and stomach, implying your intentions for a happy ending. 
“actually…” he trails off, eyes now darting everywhere but your own, “we need to talk about that,”
“what?” you ask sharply, removing your hands from his body and sitting up straight to look at him clearer. 
“my trainer thinks it’s a good idea to not have sex right now,” he lets out quickly, averting your gaze again.
“i’m sorry, what?” confusion is laced in your tone as you attempt to process what he just told you.
“he thinks that i need to save that energy, conserve it for races and training,” carlos now is bold enough to meet your gaze, regretting it instantly under your sharp stare. 
“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you shake out with a laugh.
“mi amor, don’t be upset, please,” carlos pleads to you, “it will only be for a few months, until i get a contract for next year-,”
“MONTHS?!” your voice reaching a higher octave in surprise, “are you fucking kidding me, carlos?”
“mi amor-”
“no,” you cut him off, shaking your head and now standing up from your position on the couch, “you don’t get to ‘mi amor’ me right now, this affects both of us you know,”
“this is my career, y/n,” he lets out in a whisper, his insecurities on full display. 
“and this is our relationship, carlos,” you bite back quickly, “i hope you’re comfy on that couch, you’ll be sleeping there tonight,” with your final statement, you get up and walk upstairs to your bedroom, ready to head to sleep and hope his stupidity was all a dream. 
-
“it’s really been two weeks?” alexandra asks you as you both take a break from the bustle that was the ferrari garage during race weekend. you had already told her about the ‘ban’ last week at the other grand prix to which she was shocked and appalled that you were still standing. you and carlos fought for the first two days about it before you had come to terms with your situation. you weren’t happy about it. but you had come to terms with it. 
“two very long weeks,” you emphasize to her as you both begin your walk from the hospitality center back to the garage.
“i don’t know how you’re doing it,” she laughs, “if charles ever placed that i’d be done,”
“my vibrator and i have gotten really close,” you joke with a smile, “but really i understand carlos’ motivations, he’s freaking out about next year,”
“i’m sure,” alexandra nods in agreement, “it sucks that you have to deal with it too, though,”
“the things we do for love,” you laugh with her again. as you both continue to walk and talk about your predicament, two ferrari drivers were in the garage talking about the same thing.
“what is wrong with you?” charles asks your boyfriend, still in disbelief that he has been holding it out for two weeks. 
“i don’t know,” carlos laughs, “but it’s not working, i want to break it tonight,” he confesses to his teammate. 
“oh she’s going to be happy, i’m sure,”
“i hope,” carlos sighs, “she was pretty upset when i brought it up in the first place,”
“no shit,” charles scoffs, “i’d be pissed if alex put down a sex ban,”
“we’ve been fine since, she hasn’t been holding a grudge or anything,” carlos shrugs. 
“well good luck,” charles gives carlos a quick and firm pat on the shoulder, “you might need it,” he laughs as he walks away, leaving carlos to question the past few weeks quickly. just as he starts debating your feelings, he spots you and alex walking towards the garage, and he begins to sport his large smile. 
“hola, mi reina,” he shouts towards you, “come here,” he yells again, beckoning you closer to his hidden spot in the corner of the garage. 
“hi, baby,” you reply once you’ve reached him, his arm coming up to pull you into his body for a hug, “how’s it going?”
“good, i have to get in the car in a few,” carlos leans down to plant a few kisses to your lips, a warmth growing in your lower abdomen as he continues to roam your body with his hands, “how was alex?”
“good,” you reply, chasing his lips with yours to get some sort of relief, your own arms beginning to roam his body as well, “how’s the car feel?”
“not as good as you will tonight, cariño,” he speaks into your mouth as you both continue your pursuit of each others mouths.
“what do you mean, amor?” you ask in your sunken tone, too caught up in the feeling of his lips and hands on you to catch what he was implying.
“i mean tonight,” he moves his head to begin kissing down your neck before continuing, “the ban lifts,” he sighs out. 
“what?” you ask sharply, putting space between your bodies quickly in order to process the information. 
“we’re having sex tonight, amor. i can’t put it more simple than that,” he laughs as his nerves begin to rise, scared of your harsh reaction. 
“no, we’re not,” you direct, now moving further away from him, his arms itching forward to have you in his hold. 
“yes, we are, cariño,” he replies, pulling you into him yet again. 
“no,” you give him a cross look, stopping his actions from going further, “we’re. not,”
“why?”
“i believe you placed this ban in order to ‘train better’ and you weren’t going to lift it until you had a spot for next year?”
“mi reina, i can’t do this,” he groans in frustration, “i need you,”
“you should’ve thought about that before you started this stupid thing,” you laugh, tapping his cheek quickly before turning around to leave, “karma, my love, karma,” you leave quickly, but not before hearing a long groan come from your boyfriend, giving you a giggle as you disappear. 
-
“y/n?” carlos calls out into the hotel room. you had left the track after the race as carlos finished up with the media, giving him a kiss goodbye and assuring him that tonight nothing would happen. he had thrown a small tantrum to charles who just laughed at his behavior, giving him a stern ‘i told you so’. now back at the hotel, you had decided to give carlos some payback. after he had withheld sex, he still was coming home from his training, hot and sweaty. tempting you beyond belief. he needed to feel what you felt. so here you were, all dressed up in your best red lingerie set, where nothing would happen. 
“in here!” you call out from the bathroom. hearing his footsteps grow closer, you giggle for a second to yourself before making eye contact with him through the mirror. 
“cariño…” he trails off, raking your body with his eyes, lust overtaking his complexion within seconds. you could tell by the tent forming in his pants these were a long two weeks for him as well. 
“what?” you feign innocence with your question, widening your eyes and relishing in the effect you had on your boyfriend, four years later. 
“you know what,” he sighs out, making strides to get closer to you, but you just take the same length of strides backwards, moving away from him.
“i thought i made it pretty clear earlier, the sex ban has not been lifted,” you shake a finger at him, starting to move forward in order to push past him and out of the bathroom. his hands stop you in your attempt to slide past.
“y/n, please,” carlos tries, squeezing your hips to further his point of urgency, “you’re killing me,”
“now you know how i felt these past two weeks,” you lean in closer to really set him off with your next word whispered in his ear, “...papi,”
a loud groan escapes his lips as he squeezes your hips tighter, “mi amor,” he starts, settling his lips between yours, kissing you with the passion you had been needing the past two weeks. 
“carlos,” you squeak out, separating the two of you, “i’m tired-”
“baby-”
“this is what you wanted, remember?” you eye him pointedly, laughing to yourself at his pained expression. the same one you sported everytime you got into bed with him for another sexless night. 
“cariño, this isn’t what i want,” he pushes, trying to grasp you back into his hold as you push away from him. 
“it’s what you asked for,” you say to him as you climb into the bed, raising your ass in the right direction to catch his attention. 
“fuck, amor,” he sighs, staring at you shamelessly, basking in the moment of finally being able to appreciate your body after two long weeks, “you’ll be the death of me,”
“too bad you had to go and listen to your trainer instead of your girlfriend,” you spit back quickly, getting comfortable in bed.
“y/n, i’m sorry,” he sighs again, rubbing his hand over his face before moving to sit on the end of the bed by your feet, “what will it take for you to forgive me?”
“i don’t know,” you fake ponder, “maybe in two weeks i’ll let you know,” you scoff out, winking at him before turning around in bed and closing your eyes. you hear a quiet grunt of disapproval before he heads to the bathroom in order to ready himself for bed as well. you hear the shower turn on, it’s gotta be ice cold, you think with a laugh, before drifting into sleep. 
-
“i’m telling you alex,” you giggle into your coffee the next weekend in the hospitality section, “his face has been priceless,”
“i can’t believe you’re doing this to him,” she laughs along with you, “he told charles that he has been dying,”
“that’s exactly what i was going for,” you confess with a chuckle, “i’m running out of lingerie soon, so i think i’ll switch to just totally naked, that’ll really throw him off,” alexandra just keeps laughing at your game, and encouraging you as you tell her more ideas. 
meanwhile in the garage, carlos is beyond on edge and charles knows exactly why. 
“i told you so,” charles sing-songs as he passes by his teammate. 
“shut the fuck up, mate,” carlos shakes off, running his hand through his messy hair for the hundredth time, “this is-”
“killing you, i know,” charles laughs again, “just apologize to her, grand gesture,” he attempts to provide a solution to his friend. 
“i’ve tried that,” he shrugs, “i’ve bought her bags, shoes, dinners, and nothing,”
“wow,” charles eyes widen in surprise, “are you sure the sex is good for her?”
“shut. up. charles,” carlos says through gritted teeth, “she’s just stubborn, wants me to wait the two weeks like i made her do,”
“actually that’s pretty fair-” charles begins, but stops abruptly as carlos’ left shoe comes hurling at his head, “hey! i’m not the one who gave you the sex ban! don’t hurt me!” he cries out in laughter, running away quickly before the right shoe has a chance to be removed. 
-
the two weeks were up and you were burning. you needed carlos biblically in every way you could possibly imagine. however, the need to watch him squirm one last time tempted you completely. so there you stood - naked, oiled up, hair done, heels on - ready for carlos. 
“hola, y/n, i’m home!” carlos calls throughout your shared home as he enters. 
“i’m in the bedroom!” you call back, giddy with excitement as you hear his footsteps approaching. 
“oh, oh mi reina,” carlos stutters, stopping dead in his tracks as he tracks your body with his eyes. 
“hola, papi,” you seductively whisper, watching his eyes turn from their beautiful caramel brown to a lustful black. 
“ohhh,” he lets out in a groan, immediately dropping down to his knees, and crawling forward to be at your feet. just as he approaches, you push your heel into his shoulder, stopping him from moving closer, “mi amor…,” he sighs in a plea, moving his lips to meet your ankle, slowly trailing them up and kissing your legs in admiration. 
“carlos,” you warn as he inches closer to your heat, “i think there’s one more day on the ban,” his eyes snap up to meet yours, widening in hope for you to forget it already. 
“mi reina, please,” he whines, his lips furthering their pursuit on your thigh, “i’ll do anything, anything,”
“anything?” you ask with a smirk, an eyebrow cocked in amusement at his desperation. 
“anything,” he breathes out, “absolutely anything,”
“no more sex bans,” you start, your boyfriend already nodding his head in agreement, “you fuck me everynight,” you keep going, carlos still shaking his head as his lips don’t stop their attack on your leg, “and you fuck me good tonight, papi,” you finish, him already climbing up your leg in urgency to reach the place he needed once given the green light. 
his lips meet yours after leaving a trail on your entire body, you hum and moan into the kiss as his hand climbs up your body and begins to grip your neck. pushing your head to the side, his lips migrate to your neck, biting and sucking in the places he knows will keep pretty sounds leaving your mouth. 
“mm,” he grunts, pushing his thigh in between your legs, leading you to let out another silky moan and grind down onto his jeans, “y/n,” he chokes out, “on the bed,” he directs. you eagerly move away from him and slide onto the bed. as you start to remove your heels, he pulls your hand away quickly, “leave them on,” he sighs out as you just smirk towards him. 
with the confidence of his desire for you warming your insides, you pull on the collar of his shirt, ultimately forcing him on top of you and leading his lips back to yours, he slips a moan out at your boldness. he stops only for the removal of his shirt before his lips come crashing to yours once again. 
he slides his hand down your body, giving your nipple a tight pinch on his way before meeting his desired destination. once his hand cups your heat, your moan echoed the walls as you hadn’t felt anything but your toys for a month. and they were not nearly comparable to your boyfriend. 
“i’ve barely touched you, amor,” he chuckles out between your kisses. 
“shut up,” you bite back, “it’s been a month,”
“i know,” he breathes, lips moving back to your neck, him relishing in the sound of your sweet moans as his fingers get to work, “so wet for me, reina,”
“only for you, papi,” you choke out in between your moans. he slips his digits up and down your folds a few times, gathering your wetness on his fingers before slowly, too slowly, entering you. he drowns out your moans with his lips on yours, pumping his fingers faster as his thumb comes up to rub your sensitive bud. 
“need you, papi,” you moan out, “need you inside of me,” 
“i know, mi amor, i know,” he shushes you a little bit, kissing you lightly as he continues to pump his fingers in and out, “i want to savor you,”
“do i need to tell you how long it’s been again?” you desperately moan, arching your back into him as he hits your spot. carlos moans along with you, reveling in your need for him and how easily he can get you undone. 
“no need for that, amor,” he shakes off with a laugh. pulling his fingers out of you, they meet his mouth as he tastes the sweetness of you he had missed for weeks. he lets out a guttural moan, and he begins to remove his pants. taking them off in one swift motion, his length slaps up to meet his stomach as you attempt to not drool at the picture in front of you. scrambling towards your boyfriend, you start to make a motion in order to give him the same attention he gave you, ready to be on your knees and ready for him. only for his hands to grab your waist, tossing you backwards onto the bed.
“do i need to remind you how long it’s been?” he asks you, mocking your question from earlier. you sit up on your forearms, watching as he crawls across the bed to be on top of you, meeting your lips in a kiss. you get so caught up in the kiss, carlos’ movements to enter you were lost as your brain fogged in lust. 
“are you ready, mi reina?” he quietly asks, rubbing his length in between your folds. 
“si, papi,” you seductively eye him after your answer, his eyes rolling back as he moves forward to kiss you again. as he enters inside of you, both of your moans paint the walls of your bedroom. 
“fuck, y/n-”
“aye, carlos-”
his pattern begins slow, the movements beginning to warm you up as you stretch to fit him perfectly. his lips attack your neck as your hands pull on his back, you scratching, him biting. both of you moaning in the bliss you had been missing for weeks. 
“oh, oh baby,” he breathes, movements quickening as he gains his rhythm. carlos pulls back slightly from you, moving an arm next to your head in order to hold himself up as he pounds into you harder. your back involuntarily arches, pushing your breasts to meet his chest, sweat mixing together as well as your moans. 
“mi-mi amor,” he stutters out, and you recognize immediately what he’s about to tell you, “i know it’s soon but-”
“i know, carlos, me too,” you breathe out, the warmth in your tummy heating up as you feel your aching ready to be released. 
“with me, baby, with me,” he grunts out, his pace now sloppy as he attempts to bring you towards your high with him. 
“mhm,” was all you could let out, your nails now digging further into his back, “‘m close,” 
“c’mon, mi reina,” he stutters out, his high coming quick, “now, baby,” he breathes out in haste. you both collapse into each other, a sweaty pile of moans and kisses as you begin to come down from your high. 
as you both lay there, carlos still inside you, he kisses your forehead and starts moving some of your hair away from your face. you finally kick off your heels and kiss carlos in between catching your breath. 
“you do know we need to go again, right?” you laugh out through the kisses. 
“oh we’re going all night, y/n,” carlos reassures you, kissing you again. 
“good,” you giggle, “and never again will this happen,”
“never, mi amor, never,”
-
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