#that’s not a new record it’s just funny how we always end up here eventually

[grayintogreen]

When I describe Aamon “laughing in a way that showed all of his teeth,” I am describing a ten foot tall raven with wolf teeth doing this:

[chvnnie]

Letter Two: Nightmares

Love Letters Series Page

wc: 4.7k

genre: angst

warnings: apocalypse au, creature feature, use of weapons, HEAVY MENTIONS OF PTSD AND DESCRIPTIONS OF ANXIETY ATTACKS. this chapter is heavy and sad as it dives somewhat into the backstory of one of the members. please keep these warnings in mind. if i missed anything, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

summary: when the world's a nightmare, it's hard to deal with your own.

this is a work of fiction. this fic in no way represents the stray kids members as people or as a whole. you are responsible for the media you consume. please read responsibly.

series taglist: @straystayvlive, @fawnpeaks, @strayingawayy, @almighty-obsession, @ershyni, @chai-papa, @moon0fthenight, @djeniryuu, @boomfrogg, @everglowdaisies — comment to be added

Hey, you.

You know what I’ve been thinking about lately?

The day the world went to shit.

I know a lot of people consider the day of the lab breakout the turning point, but I don’t. That was to be expected; we knew nothing about Nots. Keeping them in those glass chambers, studying their habits and transforms didn’t help much. A domesticated animal always acts differently than a wild one.

The day that I consider the end, we didn’t even know about Nots. You and I were in bed for the evening, the television playing softly while you read. I was in the bathroom shaving, hardly paying attention to the cheesy sitcom joke and recorded laughing. 

I remember the razor nicking my jaw, tongue between teeth as I hissed. Fuck, the sting of it was awful. The razor fell in the sink, taking your attention from your book. 

“You okay?” You ask, leaning in the bed to get a look in the bathroom. You laughed when you saw the little toilet paper square stuck to my face. 

“It’s not funny.”

Though, I was smiling. I like hearing you laugh. God, I can’t wait to be with you again. 

I remember washing my hands before I started to clean the wound, the show cutting to commercial break. 

If you or your loved one have ever taken the drug by the name Nottingal, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

You asked what that medication was for. I said I wasn’t sure, but texted Seungmin to ask. He responded within seconds: A blood thinner. That’s all it was, just a simple pill taken once daily to reduce the risk of blood clots. A lot of people take it. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

It still gives me the chills how easily we forgot about the medication, going to bed without a second thought. We moved past it, went to work the next day. The world kept turning, and the name faded from our memory. 

Just a common, everyday drug. Why would we give it more thought?

An oddly cold weekend in March. You walked the dog, I went to the gym with Changbin. Our lives crossed over around lunchtime, stuffed in the tiny apartment kitchen as we tried to make our meals. 

“We need a new apartment.” You complained. “I can hardly move in here.”

“What, you don’t want to be pressed up against me all the time?”

You scoffed at my joke, taking your sandwich and chips over to the couch. I was steps behind you, leaning close to my bowl of cereal so I didn’t spill any as I walked and ate. I sit, and you turn the tv on, left on the news channel for some reason. 

“Ah.” I said through a mouth full of cheerios. “Turn this shit—“

And then, we saw it. The early stages of a Not. A woman in her 40s, hospitalized for an adverse reaction to Nottingal. She reported having chills with extreme nausea, nothing holding in her stomach. Admitted overnight just for observation, her symptoms got worse. At first it was just a fever — but then it kept climbing and climbing and climbing, to the point where the woman was almost boiling. She would claw at her hospital robe, screeching from the intense heat. Doctors eventually had to secure her to the bed. 

Then, it started to get weird. They called it mania, at first. She wouldn’t speak, only responding with this terrible screeching sound, comparable to metal doors scraping against concrete. Her nails started to grow (both hands and toes) at a rapid pace, which was odd enough on its own. 

Only made worse by the way they started to fuse into the skin, the color darker than the night sky. Claws. A nurse checked on patient zero one day and reported hearing something that sounded like the snapping of bones. After further examination, she saw that the woman’s back was starting to arch, spine taking a new shape—

The claws scratched the nurse across the forearm. The nurse said it didn’t feel like anything more than a deep cat scratch, bandaged up and went about her day. Just to end up at her workplace that night, stumbling into the emergency room. Chills. Nausea. A fever that’s a little too high for comfort. 

That’s how we found out that it’s not only the pills that could cause a transformation. If the claws scratch you, the tip comes in contact with your bloodstream. That’s what it all comes down to; blood.

Two months. That’s all it took. From that commercial to the fall of humanity. Two months, and the world went to shit. 

I’m not really sure why I wrote all of that. You experienced it too; the fear, doubt. Really, does anyone see the end of the world coming? I don’t think I’ve fully grasped that this is my reality now, that it’s not some kind of fucked up dream an edible gave me. 

I so badly wish it was. Because even if this is the demise of mankind, not having you by my side is greater than my worst nightmare. 

Speaking of nightmares, Jisung’s are back. I was sure that after we settled at our new base (right next to the mail stall, conveniently) that they would settle more. It’s been a while since he’s had one, especially this extreme. 

We found an abandoned house. It’s not very big, but it fits all of us comfortably. Two floors, four bedrooms. The bathroom is still functioning, which is a treasure we’re not taking for granted. It’s funny how we still have running water, yet most places we hide out are missing that feature. The first shower I took in there almost made me cry; it was freezing, but it was a shower. Little things really do make the apocalypse easier. 

Jisung’s in one of the upstairs rooms. It looks like it belonged to a child — bunk beds decorated with floral sheets and stuffed animals. The walls have drawings tacked on them, a bulletin board with movie tickets and notes from friends. It’s hard to look at. Wherever that child is, I hope she is safe. She was well loved. 

Nobody wanted to stay in that room. It’s difficult to swallow, to be surrounded by the reminders of such an innocent life. But it has the best view of the front of the house, the boarded up windows have enough space for the barrel of Jisung’s sniper to fit through. He dropped his duffel by the closet, setting up his gun. 

“Are you sure?” I had asked Jisung, an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It still happens now whenever I walk in there. “There’s space on the office—“

“I’ll be fine.” He looked through the scope, positioning the gun accordingly. “It has the best view.”

“I can stay in here, too—“ Hyunjin started to say, but was quickly cut off. 

“I said I’m fine.” Jisung doesn’t spare us a look. “Don’t worry about it.”

It was weird how he snapped at him. Honestly, ever since we left midtown, Jisung has been a little rougher than usual. Especially with Hyunjin. Remember how long it took to convince him that picking him up was the right thing to do? I feel like every letter I wrote you after we found Hyunjin was about his distaste for him. But I thought we had turned a corner — in fact, they were literally inseparable in midtown. Then we left, and…

Jisung is hiding something. 

There was no reason to push the issue. You know Jisung, once his mind is made up, it’s almost impossible to change. Hyunjin is bunking with me in the master bedroom. He’s a cold sleeper, I’ve learned, often waking up with him huddled by my back. It’s made me miss you even more; how many mornings have I woken up with you attached to my back like a koala? Face buried in my shoulder blade, snores vibrating against it. 

I can’t wait to wake up to that again. To you again. 

The nightmare came a night when I wasn't on guard. I had been sleeping pretty soundly, actually. Hyunjin’s fluffy hair was right in my face, the cotton sheets nice and cool against my bare chest. It had been a while since I slept so well.

Earth shattering screams tore me from that peaceful sleep. Both Hyunjin and I practically jumped from the bed, weapons easily accessible and in hand. Did something get in? Were one of our men hurt? 

Hyunjin’s face went pale when we heard the scream again. He dropped his knife, mumbling the younger man's name before sprinting from the room. 

Jisung was on the bottom bunk, comforter low on his hips. He wasn’t dressed in anything other than sweatpants, the scar on his left rib cage looking more red than usual. Almost irritated, raised. The perfect circle as angry as the cries coming from its owner. 

His nails were scratching at his neck, thrashing in the bed as he cried. Round tears rolling down his cheeks in earnest, voice cracking and turning raw. Whatever was happening behind his eyelids was devastating, all of his fears brightly burning for him. 

“Jisung.” Hyunjin had said, climbing into the tiny bunk with him. His body jerked, trying to resist the hold he was put in. Head cradled to his friend’s chest, he starts to rock. “It’s not real. It’s not real.”

Jeongin came over the walkie. It’s his night on guard. “No breaches at the back. Bin?”

“Front is clear.” Changbin responds quickly, the unasked question obvious to all of us. 

“Clear up top.” I responded, keeping my voice as low as possible. “It’s Jisung.”

No response. None needed. Everyone will keep their post, or try to go back to sleep. Too many hands and it only makes things worse for him. 

Hyunjin is good at soothing him, bringing him out of the nightmare with minimal damage. Softly, he brushes the fluffy hair from his face, keeping a firm rocking motion. Gentle reminders whispered to him; he’s safe, it’s just a dream, it’s not real. I watched him rock my friend for at least five minutes, the screams coming to an end as he started to twitch awake. With a string of fearful whimpers, Jisung’s eyes finally opened and found Hyunjin’s. 

The moment felt like years. Their eyes locked, the tears finding an end as they stared at each other, seemingly lost in the gaze. Hyunjin smiled softly at him, and it looked like Jisung was melting. An immediate peace washing over him, the nightmare so far out of grasp it’s forgettable. 

Then he’s shoving himself out of his arms, cursing and mumbling under his breath to “let him the fuck go”. It was hard to miss the way Hyunjin’s face crumbled, though he quickly composed himself. 

“You had another nightmare.” Hyunjin’s voice is so gentle, though it cracks with an emotion he’s trying to suppress. 

“I know.” Jisung snapped, bringing his knees to his chest as he huddled into the corner. Body pressed against the wall, avoiding his gaze. 

“Do you want to—“

“Can you fucking leave?” He asked, though it didn’t sound convincing. “I want to talk to hyung.”

Hyunjin smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. With a nod, he climbed out of the bunk bed, patting my shoulder as he walked past me. When the door shut, I heard him release a shaky gasp. 

I stayed by the door, wanting to give Jisung as much room as I could. He kept his head facing the wall, breaths starting to even out as he worked on grounding himself. In and out, like you taught him. Think of happy thoughts, remind yourself that the world is more than the darkness that consumes you. I watched as his shoulders relaxed, body starting to slump as he found the peace he was looking for. 

“Sit with me?” It was hard to hear, the question whispered into the foundation of the house. I crossed the tiny room, sitting by the ladder leading up to the top bunk. Giving him as much physical space as I could. 

It was silent between us. Our breaths filling the dark room—

Wait. It’s completely dark. When I stood, I could hear his lips part, the start of protests rolling from his tongue. I didn’t walk far, only to the closet. Flicking on the light, I pulled the door open, letting just a sliver of it spill out. 

“Why didn’t you turn this on?” I asked softly, trying to keep my tone steady. I didn’t want him to think I was accusing him, or blaming him for the nightmare. 

Jisung shrugged. “I wanted to try.” He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, rubbing tight circles. “Obviously it didn’t work.”

I returned to my seat. With the light on, it was easy to see what Jisung was doing before he fell asleep. His journal face down on the floor, an uncapped pen right beside it. His favorite book, worn out and damn near falling apart, was tabbed open with a photo of the two of you (remember that beach trip we took last year? When he was home on leave? It’s from when the two of you were building that sandcastle, the polaroid still as clear as the day I took it. It’s one of my favorites) and a sketch of what looked like daisies. Yellow and pink, they cover the page, only broken up by a little signature in the bottom. One we all know too well at this point. 

There was something missing from his pile, something that the picture reminded me of. “Where are your dogtags?”

He seemed tense at that question, sighing as he brought his hands down. “I think I lost them in midtown.”

It didn’t feel like the truth, but there wasn’t any need to press it. I simply nodded, taking the lie for what it was. 

“I’m sorry I woke you.”

I huffed a laugh. “Don’t apologize for that shit.”

“Sleep is so precious now, I hate taking it from you—“

“Seriously, Sung.” I looked at my friend, who I was surprised was looking at me. When our eyes met, I gave a reassuring smile. “You know we don’t mind.”

Jisung didn’t believe me. He never does when I tell him that. Yet, he nodded, knowing that doubt will never leave him. “It was bad.”

“Sounded like it.” Never push him. That’s what I’ve learned. If he wants to open up, he will. But when it’s so fresh, so heavy in his mind, focusing on the details could drive him mad—

“The Nots.” He said softly, resting his chin on his knees. Not once did his gaze stray from me, wide eyes filling with fresh tears. “They came. Here.”

I will admit, it confused me as to why this upset him so badly. We had seen at least five groups of them by this point, a few even crossing the front gate. They never stayed, always distracted by something in the distance. He had even shot a few. 

Staying in this room was a bad idea. I knew it from the moment we arrived, even though he was insistent. I should have forced him into a different room, made him sleep anywhere else but here. It’s no surprise that the previous owner appeared in his dream, her small body twisted into the horror that we’re too familiar with. 

“It got me thinking.” Jisung started to cry again. “Nots like to stay close to home—“

“No.” I cut the thought off before he could finish it. “You can’t go there, Jisung.”

He knew I was right. But you know him; stubborn as can fucking be, clinging to things with an annoyingly tight grip. As soon as it crossed his mind, there was no way he was letting it go. Instead of arguing, he just nodded. Mumbles something in agreement. It wasn’t going to escape him, and it would be silly for us to pretend it would. 

“Will you sleep in here with me?” He asked. 

I couldn’t help but wince. It didn’t feel right, the idea of resting here. “Why don’t you come to the master bedroom with me? There’s enough room for you, me, and Hyunjin—“

As soon as I mentioned his name, Jisung’s eyes went dark. “No.” He said simply. “I would rather stay here.”

I wanted to tell him no. To go back to the comfortable bed where I could sleep easily, not worrying about being haunted by a life not fully lived. 

“I just don’t want to leave my gun.” Jisung said. “That’s it.”

Another lie. I had no choice but to take it as is. Nodding as I climbed the ladder. 

As far as I know, Jisung didn’t talk about the nightmare with anyone else. The day following was spent with Minho, organizing the weapons in the living room. He sat on the ground, wiping the blood and dirt from barrels of guns. Sweat beaded his forehead, glasses low on his nose. But he laughed, joking with everyone who walked past.

Except Hyunjin. 

I cleaned out the old pantry with Seungmin, still keeping the good food while disposing of the others. “They left in a hurry.” He said as he chunked another fruit cup in the trash. “Something must have happened here.”

They must have recently gone grocery shopping. A lot of snack boxes were untouched, the expiration date still a month or two away. “Can’t blame them.”

“No.” He threw a can of expired condensed milk at the trash can, shooting it like a basketball. Somehow, it made it. “You really can’t.”

That night, Jisung and I took every precaution to avoid a nightmare. The closest door was cracked open, yellow light filling the room. His old radio was tuned to some station that hasn’t been manned since the fall, playing the same jazz songs on repeat. The loop starts again every three hours, but even in the annoyance, it’s enough noise to help him sleep. 

I had barely fallen asleep when he had another nightmare. To the bottom bunk I went, holding my friend and rocking him until he woke up. We did it again the next night, and the next, and the next. Nightmare after nightmare, though the details were always the same. A group of Nots, the smaller one in the back of the group. Vicious and hungry. 

It was the room. It had to be, baby. I’ve been racking my brain for an explaination, because if it isn’t the fucking room, then I don’t know. And not knowing is the scariest part; all of this is so…predictable. 

But these nightmares. They were anything but. 

Jisung couldn’t sleep one night, the impending nightmare driving him mad. He sat by the gun, rereading his book with his feet propped up on the window sill. Or, it looked like he was reading. When I got closer, I saw him tracing the painted flowers with his finger. 

“I’m going to bed.” He snapped the book shut when he realized I was there. “You should, too.”

Jisung pushes his glasses up, nodding as he rubs his eyes. “I’ll try in a bit.” He gave me a weary smile. “Sleep well, okay?”

I didn’t. My eyes didn’t even shut, focused on counting the bumps on the ceiling. I couldn’t allow myself to, not until I knew Jisung was on the bed beneath me, trying to rest despite his fears. You made me promise I would take care of him, and it was an easy one to make. I’m trying my love, even if his stubborn ass makes it incredibly difficult. 

He was mostly quiet in his corner, humming a song or two before falling silent. Every time I glanced at him, his back was to me. Same position as before, thumbing through the book this time. Actually reading. 

My eyes had started to shut when I heard the walkie click. 

“Min.” Hyunjin’s voice cut through. “How’s the back?”

A beat. “Meh.” Seungmin responded. “Per us—ah, fuck.”

“Don’t say it like that.” A whine came from the older man. 

“You’ll see them soon. Mid sized pack, moving quickly.” The walkie cut off, familiar squawks of Nots heard even from my bed upstairs. “Must be hungry.”

The book snapped shut, chair squeaking as Jisung pushed it out. I watched him stand, lean over the scope as he focused outside. 

“Look at those ugly fuckers.” Hyunjin says with a sigh. “There are so—Jesus!”

Click. Hyunjin is gone, his exclamation is enough to make me sit up in bed. Jisung fumbled for the walkie, his hand shaking as he pressed the button. “Stop messing around, Jin.”

“Sung—“ He clicks back immediately, shock heavy in his tone. Is it from hearing Jisung’s voice, or what he saw? “Sorry, that pack just took out a stray.”

I listen to Jisung curse under his breath, annoyed at how the older man frightened him. Made him think we were under siege. He puts his eye back to the scope, and the walkie falls from his hand. 

Then screams. Earth shattering screams. 

Jisung is on the ground, sitting beneath the window with his hands over his ears. Back and forth he rocks, sobbing loudly with his eyes shut. “No, no.” He cries out. “No, no, no, no—“

I don’t have to ask. I don’t even have to look through the scope, but I do anyway. In the back of the pack is a smaller Not. Brown hair, waves breaking the straight pattern.

The worst thing about Nots is if you know who they were, they won’t be hard to spot after the transformation. There goes the little girl whose room we’ve slept in, tailing behind what looks like her parents. 

“Jisung?” Hyunjin cuts through the walkie again. “What’s going on? Answer me.” 

He responds with another scream, kicking the walkie as far from him as he can. The weight of it is weighing down on him, crushing his already fragile being into nothing but dust. His back is hitting the wall, nails in his throat. My friend, almost unrecognizable on the ground next to me. 

“I’m coming up.” Hyunjin says, and I snatch the walkie from the ground. 

“Keep your post.” I said. “I’m with him. If they get close, shoot.”

I don’t hear what Hyunjin said to me. Dropping to a squat in front of my friend, I gently remove his hands from his neck. “Jisung, talk to me.”

“I t-told you.” He says in a broken sob. “I told y-you, I told you—“

“Shh, I know.” I tried my best, really. I think you would be proud of me; everything you taught me about him, how to be the friend he needs in big moments. Though I’m convinced no one could ever be as good as you at this, I think I’m a pretty good third. Or like, fourth or fifth option. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen better.”

He shook his head, hiccuping through his tears. I kept a firm grasp on his wrists, letting him rock as much as he needed to. Tears stung my eyes; it’s kind of a given that watching your friend experience something like this is hard. But rarely do we talk about just how gut wrenching it is. My brave friend, nothing but a shell in my hands. 

“Jisung.” I said his name softly. “We have to do it.”

“No!” He shouted loud enough to make the earth vibrate. “H-hyung, can’t. I c-can’t—“

“Hey, hey.” I grab him, pulling him into a hug. He fought it for a second, pushing at my chest to try to escape, though he eventually caved. The tears were warm against my shoulder, violent sobs muffled. “You don’t have to. I will.”

That’s when his eyes shot open, the fight returning to him. “D-don’t do that to her.” He cried. “She’s just a k-kid—“

Baby. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how I can pretend that this didn’t hurt me. Her pictures were everywhere; in the living room, across the hallways. The bulletin boards held strips of her and her friends. No more than nine or ten. A life barely lived, forced into an existence that she can never escape. 

I cried. Sniffling in Jisung’s ear and swallowing dryly. “It isn’t fair to leave her like this.” I told him, though it was more for myself. Trying to convince both of us it’s the humane thing to do in a society that’s anything but. 

Jisung was limp. Sobbing into my shoulder, mumbling weak pleas. Reconsider. Let her go—

“Seungmin.” Hyunjin’s voice cut through. “How’s the back?”

“Clear. You?”

“Not. They’re approaching.”

It had to be done. I had to let Jisung go, to let him curl into a ball as he covered his ears, awaiting the inevitable. Picking up the walkie, I clicked through. “Changbin, are you awake?”

He didn’t even wait a second. “Yeah.”

“Relieve Hyunjin. Take Minho with you.”

No questions were asked. There was no protest from the ball at my feet, shaking as he quietly sobbed. I waited, the sound of footsteps rushing past the door until the ones I needed found their way inside. 

Hyunjin’s hair was a mess. A headband kept the frizzy locks out of his face. But that isn’t what caught my eye. The tags resting in the center of his chest, the ones we know all too well. 

He moved to Jisung, the younger man letting him pull him close. Carefully, he sat him in his lap, rocking him. Back and forth, back and forth. Whispers of comfort heard even through the hands that clasped his ears. 

When it comes to Jisung’s comfort, you are first. But there’s no doubt that Hyunjin is second. 

Through watery eyes, I look through the scope. The gun is lightweight, easy to maneuver. Bodies of Nots litter the front yard, the ones who haven’t taken a bullet yet clawing at their own. I watched as another was it, terrible squeals released into the night as it twitched to its death. It took me a moment to find her. Behind the gate, lost in the body of an unrecognizable animal. 

After I aimed, I shut my eyes. I don’t know how she died, my love, but I know I’ll never forget how painfully human her cries were. Freshly turned, returning to her home. Nots don’t like to wander far. 

I boarded that room up today. Lock the door and hid the key somewhere no one will ever find it — within our group, or others who seek refuge here. She deserves to rest, and I’ll be damned if anyone disturbs her. 

Jisung requested the sniper be moved to the office. Minho and I worked on it for him. He refused to touch it. It’s been a few days, but I’m the only one who has used it. I don’t know how long it will take him to be comfortable with it again. 

At least he’s finally sleeping. The master bed was big enough for all three of us, though now Hyunjin seems to cling to Jisung. When he wakes, the younger man will shove him away. Though, I’ve caught him pretending to sleep. Enjoying the hold the artist has on him. 

It’s a good home. I think we’ll be here for a while. The guys seem to like it a lot, and the normalcy that’s felt here — well, you don’t need me to explain how valued that is. 

I’m glad to hear all has been going somewhat well for you guys. Felix has been asking nonstop about you. I think he’s a little obsessed with the idea of a ranch. You’ll have to teach him about the horses; he’s been reading up about them since his injury (which has gotten better, by the way. He’s off crutches as of yesterday according to Dr. Kim. Don’t tell him I called him that). The idea of getting to ride one has kept him going. 

We’ve been mapping a route out there, but still have some things to finalize. I don’t want to get your hopes up, so I’ll tell you more when I know more. 

I love you, you know? If it’s possible, this shit has made me love you even more. In the nightmare of this world, you’re like a guiding light. I hope I don’t have to wander much longer to find you.

Stay safe, my love. I’ll be upset if I have to cuddle Hyunjin forever. 

Forever yours,

Chan

[strawburry01]

Only a Fool Would Say That (Camp Pt 3)

Camp Counselors, Angus Tully x Reader

Part 1

Part 2

A/N: I’ve been here this whole time guys- I didn’t disappear for a few weeks- what are you talking about. In reality I live in a different state now actually! They only lost all my fucking records in the moving process so send thoughts and prayers.

The first session of camp had finished up without a hitch. You and Angus had continued your weird relationship as co-camp counselors- him always letting the kids get away with way too much, whether it be free-time, candy, how far they could swim out, so of course they adored him for it. Meanwhile you were the stickler who tried to reel everyone in, kids and Angus included. He always would apologize eventually though, just at the most inconvenient times.

You would be trying to calm all the girls down in your cabin when he would knock and they would all squeal knowing it was him. You’d shush them all and step out onto the porch to see his crooked smirk. He drove you crazy but you also couldn’t stop yourself from being near him. He annoyed you but you kept putting yourself in the position for it.

One day when you sat down at lunch he sat beside you and you couldn’t help but feel your stomach do an excited flip. It drove you crazy that you were attracted to him, and you couldn’t admit it to anyone. The oldest counselor having a crush on the new bad boy counselor. Okay that sounds ridiculous, he’s still a camp counselor at a summer camp he’s not a bad boy, you thought to yourself. You tried not to overthink it whenever you caught his gaze though, or whenever you’d pass him something and your fingers would graze each others. Or whenever he’d scoot closer and your shoulders would bump for a second. Whenever he’d sneak off to the local town at night and bring you back your favorite candy or soda. Whenever he’d gently touch your waist to get by you in a crowd.

You tried to keep yourself out of your head with this sort of stuff. So many times you were just making something out of nothing. But you couldn’t help but notice he treated you with more respect than anyone else at camp- hell even the director he’d slept through meetings with. He was always eventually attentive to you and did what you asked.

It came to a crux the night after the first round of campers left. All the counselors had a tradition of a giant bonfire at the end of the sessions, using it as a destresser before the next session started. The occasional bottle of vodka or joint would somehow slip its way in.

You were in your now empty cabin brushing out your hair when Jenny threw the door open. She had a Coors in her hand that she somehow didn’t spill as she threw herself onto the mattress of a bunk.

“These kids! They kill me!” she said dramatically. To her credit, one of Jenny’s campers did have a fiercesome bee sting allergy that he only found out about this last week.

“Aw Jen you’re doing a great job though- there’s no way it can happen twice,” you laughed, trying to offer some comfort.

“You’re just saying that and you know it,” she retorted, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you’re so stuck in love with your co-counselor,”. You threw your hairbrush in her direction. She giggled and dodged it. “Hey I don’t blame you girl, he’s tall, funny, curly hair, good with the kids, what else do you need?”.

“First, I am not in love with him, and second, there’s a lot more I need in someone to- to be like that with them, thank you very much,” you said.

“Mhmmmm” Jenny hummed, obviously not convinced, “we all think it’s sweet don’t worry. You’re not nearly as upright and you actually seem to be having fun with the kids this year,” she noted. You tied your hair back and shrugged.

“Maybe I just know what to expect, have you considered that?” you huffed, “Angus is a…” you started trying to think of how to finish, “he’s a fine counselor and friend and if he ever asked me out I might be inclined to say yes. Are you happy now?” you rambled.

Jenny sat up and grinned, “I fucking knew it”.

“Throw me my brush back and we can go to the campfire alright? And please don’t bring this up okay? I’m sure we’re both just being delusional right now,” you said, “he’s just weird, he doesn’t like me or anything,”. Jenny tossed you back your hairbrush.

“He’s more of a pain in the ass to everyone else except you, just sayin’” she remarked as the two of you left. You elbowed her which only made her do it back to you, leading to the both of you poking and prodding each other.

The sun was already behind the hills, making the sky a darkening blue by the time you two got to the bonfire. It was already pretty big, but a group of the male counselors kept going into the surrounding forest and somehow coming back with more and more dead wood to toss into it. Angus was there with them which earned a poke in the back from Jenny. You hissed and slapped her hand away, taking a gulp from her now warm Coors. Angus and another guy chucked in an old tree stump which caused an upward spiral of soot and smoke.

The crowd of counselors grew and Jenny disappeared into the mix. She was always the social one. You could be social, but with most of the folks being younger than you, if not intimidated by you from being there for so long, you weren’t usually chatty at these things. You’d picked up another beer in the time and took a seat on the bench closest to the fire. Laughs and cackles filled the air with the crackling logs and groaning wood. You took a long sip of the beer, wishing it could’ve tasted at least a little better. Apparently your distaste was obvious as a familiar voice chuckled beside you.

“Not a beer drinker Lightning?” Angus laughed. You turned to see him in an old flannel with a cigarette loosely hanging in between his lips.

“You don’t need to use the camp names when the campers aren’t here,” you said. You couldn’t stop glancing at the cigarette.

He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. “Mind if I sit down then, Y/N?” he asked. You scooted over to make space. He ashed off the top of his cigarette before stomping his heel on it to make sure it was out. “You’re looking at me like you’ve never seen a cigarette,” he said as he looked over at you. Embarrassed, you quickly took another sip of your beer before you could remember how shitty it was.

“I just wasn’t expecting it out of you,” you said, meeting his eyes.

“You ever tried one?” He asked. You shook your head no. “You want to try one?” he followed up, offering his half smoked one out. You gently took it from his fingers and stared at it.

“What do I do?” You mumbled quietly, feeling a little self conscious in front of him.

His smirk returned to his face, “wow you are such a little goodie two shoes aren’t you? Just suck in on it and then blow it out. Surely you know how to do that much,” he said. You swatted at his knee.

“Shut up shut up I’m just joking around,” you said, very much not joking around. You put the cigarette to your lips and inhaled, and instantly began coughing, doubling over on the bench. Your throat felt like it was on fire and you held out the rest of the cigarette back to Angus.

“Oh no Y/N!” He cried, trying not to laugh. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and patted your back, “too much for a poor little lady,”. You tried to form an insult, but you just kept coughing. After a few more seconds of wheezing you finally sat back up and took a deep breath of campfire air.

“Fuck Angus you’re trying to kill me!” You wheezed.

“I’d never. You’re too good at your job here and I’d miss you too much,” he laughed as he continued to slowly rub your back. Your insides spun at the idea of him missing you.

“I’d have to come back and haunt you then,” you said once you had your air and voice back. Angus laughed and you felt his arm drop from your back to the other side of your waist, keeping you on his side.

“Christ, I’d only dream to be so lucky,” he smirked as he put the cigarette back in his mouth with his free hand. “Let me make you some s’mores to make up for it,” he said as he looked over at the marshmallows and chocolate beginning to be brought out by some stoned teens.

You swallowed your pride as you nudged a little closer to his side, feeling his hold on your waist follow suit.

“I think you should stay here though- just in case I faint or something from lack of oxygen,” you said, looking up at him. He looked down at you, his brown eyes reflecting the now roaring bonfire.

“That could be arranged,” he grinned, before yelling at one of the teens to bring over the marshmallows.

[wrongcaitlyn]

Just read chapter 17! It was sooo worth the wait!

It totally flew over my head that nico and will got a apartment (had to go back and reread, lol) but I feel like someone needs make a pintrest board on what there house looks like, what do you imagine?

As soon as I read that will was going to a party I KNEW he was going to trigger nico with alcohol. It was really sweet though how he just kept confessing his love to nico, I couldn't keep giggling at that part

Oh poor will, the dating accusations with ncio are only going to get worse lol. In all honesty I guess he's not going to care that much about people knowing he's bi, but I don't think nico will like the speculation

Nico making the luckey one the seventh track omg we love the cabin 7 refrence!

I am so ready for this new album (my spotify playlists consist of nicos music from this au, not even egsagurating) I'm so happy with the addition of all falls down (I hc that the saxophone was Austin's playing!)

Also will Hazel and or Frank ever make a appearance in this au? If not why? (Genuinely curious)

This was a great chapter! I hope you have so much fun at the eras tour, and I hope you get a good suprose song!

so sorry it took so long for me to respond to this!!! at first i wanted to wait till i was able to make a pinterest board, but then i couldn't really find exactly what i wanted (but still made a board - here's the link!) so i decided i'd just describe it:

it’s a penthouse, and right now it’s veryyyy empty. they moved into it just before will’s next semester started so not much time to decorate!! they kept all like the basic furniture, so i do think they have a sort of living room connected to the kitchen - hold up, now i’m realizing i sorta based that layout off my uncles house. don’t know why i did that but!! we’re going with it. so they have two couches in the “living room” and a tv, leading to a kitchen with the generic appliances + a kitchen island - then i think that there’s a hallway with doors to one of the bathrooms, the guest room, and the studio, and then the master bedroom is also like. right across from the kitchen. if im even making any sense. i actually don’t know what a penthouse looks like so im just going off of pinterest vibes💯💯 anyway i think that eventually, they’ll also def have a lot of (fake) plants (bc lord knows they don’t actually have time to water and take care of plants), and LOTSS OF BLANKETS. i think that like almost every time they go to a target or smth to get smth they actually need, they walk out of the store with at least one blanket. they’re all over the couches, the beds, the chairs, idk why but i just want their apartment to be very very cozy :) aside from that, will 100% has his record collection moved to their room, with a few hanging from the living room- there’s definitely shelves of a bunch of awards or posters and things like that - A PHOTO WALL TOO!! definitely a photo wall. i also think that both nico and will are very messy, at least when they’re busy with something (and they always are) so every countertop and table and desk is filledddd with clutter. like so much. papers and textbooks and headphones and laptops they’re everywhere.

i realize it’s actually really hard to explain my vision for their apartment, which is funny bc i have a very specific layout in my head - and also one for nico’s apartment in so american btw!! so maybe sometime ill figure out how to draw a floor plan just so i can show yall what im thinking, but in the end, that’s the general vibe of it!!

now on to the rest of the ask‼️

will is ADORABLE he’s just such a simp and i love him for that. drunk words r truly sober thoughts in his case

youre 100% right with will not really caring abt people knowing!! i know some people assumed that will was the one being outed, and this was going to lead to some sort of angsty plot line, but seriously- will doesn’t care for that stuff. in his eyes, he’s already out, because he’s come out to all of his friends and the people he knows. the people on twitter are trying to search for something that just isn’t really that important

YES YES YES FOR THE ALL FALLS DOWN HC!!! i forgot to mention the songs and the artists in the end notes but seriously, all falls down by lizzy mcalpine is SOOOO fucking nico. i almost considered it being apollo (which i think it could also be) except the production style just wasn’t rlly very him if u get what i mean?? he’s much more like mainstream pop, and nico is too but he’s less worried abt sticking to a genre and i think it matches him perfectly

hazel and frank WILL be making their appearances soon!! i’ve had their backstories planned for sooo long and i can’t WAIT to finally include them. it’s been a long time coming but i swear it’ll be worth the wait!!

thank you SOO MUCH and i’m sorry again for taking so long to respond to this!! i had an incredible time at the eras tour and got some AMAZING surprise songs so thank you for that!!

[mrschwartz]

The New Cue #273 March 27: James Ford

James Ford gave an interview for The New Cue which was published earlier today. Here are the parts where he mentions Alex or Arctic Monkeys:

"How naturally did it come writing lyrics?

I’m definitely noticed working with a lot of great lyricists - I notice people like Alex Turner will be constantly thinking about lyrics and taking snippets from people’s conversations and jotting stuff down in his notepad. I definitely don’t think in those terms, a lot of the time I’m very much into melody and chords and feel, but I felt like I opened a little extra door in my brain when I suddenly started thinking about lyrics, seeing little things and thinking, ‘Oh, I’m gonna have that.’

(...)

The defining relationship in your production career is your work with Arctic Monkeys, which goes all the way back to their second record Favourite Worst Nightmare. Can you give me an insight into how a modern Arctic Monkeys record is made, I think a lot of people find their dynamic quite intriguing.

Yeah, that’s the thing, even within one band, it changes every record. With the most recent record, Alex is getting very into recording stuff himself. He’s a polymath at the best of times, he plays everything, he’s into the sonics of it and he’s obviously writing the songs for the most part. He does pretty great demos on this thing called a Tascam 38-8, it’s like an eight-track tape machine and it’s got a real vibey sound. He’ll come in with pretty well-formed ideas at this point, it definitely used to be less formed when they came in, although they’ve always been pretty well organised.

I seem to remember the writing process for The Car was quite long, he went to and fro with a few different direct directions. He definitely did a fair amount of writing, he had his own studio in London somewhere and Jamie [Cook, guitarist] and the band were coming in and out, jamming, then he’d do four or five different versions of the same song with different tempos and he’d played some of them to me and I’d be like, ‘Oh, that one’s sounding great.’ Then eventually, he came in and did some stuff in here, where we’d get his demos up, and maybe do some structural stuff and think about how we would actually record it. The last record was in a pandemic still so we couldn’t go abroad to a studio that we’ve been to quite a lot. We went to this country house in Suffolk, which involved pulling my studio apart and renting loads of stuff. It was quite a big technical thing. I just remember doing loads of wiring, plugging in the studio, getting it to work. The recording set-up was quite slapdash in a lot of ways but it ended up being a really lovely experience out there and we got it sounding really good after a bit of luck and a bit of hard work. After that, we brought it back here and me and Al did the string arrangements, pushing notes around on the screen. Then we went and got the string stuff done with this girl called Bridget Samuels who’s brilliant, she translated it into all the dots and that. Then I mixed it in this room.

It sounds like quite an insular process.

Yeah, it’s funny, I’ve known them so long now. I’ve been working with quite a lot of new bands and you get this energy and respect or something that you have in a new relationship and it counts for quite a lot. People will try stuff out that they wouldn’t normally try. But with the Monkeys, it’s a totally different thing where there’s this deep trust that we’ve grown up together.

So there’s a shorthand?

Yeah, that’s the thing. Me and Alex, our music tastes have grown together, I’ve introduced him and he’s introduced me to so much different music and there’s so much that you don’t even have to bother explaining. But sometimes that’s good and bad. I do often think it would be interesting to see what they did with someone else at this point, not that I’d really want them to, but I think that maybe they should, or it might be like a marriage where it just wouldn’t work. It’s a funny thing, but I still definitely try and push him as hard as I can. I’m aware I don’t want him to settle into a comfort zone and it just become boring, you’re trying to keep finding ways to move forward and do new things.

Which record that you’ve been involved with across your career that you think is underrated?

Maybe just because we’ve been talking about Alex, but I remember really liking this one called Belladonna Of Sadness by Alexandra Savior that me and Al did. I remember really enjoying making that and thinking it sounded great, but no-one ever really heard it. There’s lots of ones that you think are gonna do great but don’t, then ones that you’re not so keen on that suddenly have this life of their own."

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #598

Top Ten Star Wars Droids

I wanted to do something this week to commemorate the release of Ahsoka, the brand new Star Wars TV series about, er, Ahsoka. She’s the padawan who was trained by Anakin and who ended up leaving the Jedi Order just in time to not be massacred by, er, Anakin. And she’s popped up in live-action in The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett, played by Rosario Dawson. And now she’s back! In her own show! Which hopefully won’t require me to have watched a trillion episodes of Clone Wars and Rebels to understand its various nuances. Because, er, I haven’t.

Anyway: Star Wars. I’ve written a little bit before how the bloom’s come off the rose for me, and how I’m just not very arsed anymore about anything to do with a galaxy far, far away. Having said that, I’m still quite excited about Ahsoka, even though the last time I was really excited was for the slightly disappointing Obi-Wan Kenobi, which left me wondering if I could ever feel the way I felt about the second season of Mando ever again. But Ahsoka has more Hot Jedi Action and David Tennant as a droid.

Which brings me to this week’s list. Because I do love Star Wars; the history and mythology and the breadth of the films and spin-offs. And I think one of the things it does really, really well is Give Good Droid. Here’s a fun aside: Star Wars owns the term “droid”, which I just figured was short for “android”, but is technically a Star Wars Term. Anyway, Star Wars has the best of all kinds of robots, which is quite a claim to make for a Transformers fan. I think what seals the deal is how weird, outlandish, and varied they are; not just valve-headed automatons, you’ve got men-in-suit type dealios, but also humanoid robots that are impossible – hollow-limbed, skinny, composed of irregular shapes; droids that could only be droids. Then you’ve got a variety of bucket-headed contraptions, clunking around on stubby legs or wheeling about; beeping, whirring little suckers. Then there are teeny tiny things, or spider-legged things, or flying things; all sorts of robotic buddies. It makes for a wild and wacky universe, and helps sell not just the fantastical nature of Star Wars, but also the in-universe ordinariness of these things.

So this is a list of my favourite droids from Star Wars. Mostly the films, coz I’ve not really watched much of the animated series.

And, for the record, I do actually think Ahsoka looks pretty ace.

C-3PO and R2-D2: yes, of course I’m cheating and sticking them together; how could I not? Long before those two women whose names nobody knew kissed for eighteen frames of Rise of Skywalker, we had the franchise’s premier gay couple; the bickering old marrieds of Artoo and Threepio. Like a classic British sitcom double-act, Threep’s all hifalutin and priggish and big-headed; whilst his cooler, cockier other half is the real brains of the outfit. But despite their contrasting personalities and temper tantrums, there is genuine love and affection between the pair; so much so that it make the franchise’s treatment of droids feel incredibly dark.  

K-2SO: a bandy-legged, towering figure, a former “bad droid” programmed to be good but still with a rather dour demeanour. His deadpan hatred of Jyn Erso and matter-of-fact pronouncements of doom is a source of great humour, so when he does eventually show her affection it means something; his heroic sacrifice is the throat-lumpiest moment in a movie full of sad, tragic, early deaths.

B1-series Battle Droids: I’m trying to stick to individual droids but that can’t always happen; here we have the whole lot of them, those beige “Roger, Roger” dudes with their adorably droopy faces, silly walks, and delightfully clanky sound effects. I just adore them; they really took a technology that couldn’t have existed (CG characters) to make something that felt of a piece with the old, classic Star Wars universe. They were funny but also felt like a threat; the moment they unfurl from their troop carrier has real menace. Shout out, too, to their bigger brothers, the B2, with their mean-looking sunken heads and gun-arms.

L3-37: a droid with a circular head, a real sense of character, and perhaps a bit of a delusion (or perhaps not��?). Like Alan Tudyk’s Kaytoo and Athony Daniels’ Threepio, there’s a lot to love here due to the droid’s performer; Elthree feels so Phoebe Waller-Bridge. She’s funny but also adds a lot of pathos to the film, with her championing of droid rights and (again) her tragic demise. She gets to live on as, essentially, the Millennium Falcon, which is pretty cool. But at the end of the day, it’s her weirdly sexual relationship with Lando that earns her a spot; although thinking about it, everyone’s relationship with Lando is weirdly sexual.

DUM-series Pit Droids: again with the entire series, but what’s not to love about these flat-headed collapsible robo-Stooges? Dorky little dudes who get into fights, carry heavy loads, and generally dick about causing a mess. They were funny in Phantom Menace and – if anything – even funnier on Mando. I just think they’re neat.

IG-11: another one of the newer droids, and another one who’s greatness may just be down to the really cool actor playing him. But we get a few different shades here; the murder-bot whose only function is to kill; and the nurture bot who will do anything to protect his charge. Again, he’s a droid who bows out tragically, but then – sort of – comes back again. And he remains funny and deadpan, his every deliverance in a soft, staccato Kiwi accent. It’s a bit gross that they used his body as a statue though.

R4-P17: perhaps an obscure one, but I adore her; she’s Obi-Wan Kenobi’s ill-fated little astromech droid, popping up in his Jedi starfighter to help guide him round the galaxy, release a tray of pots and pans to confuse Jango Fett, and transmit a message to the Jedi Council care of “the Old Folk’s Home”, something I’ve found intriguing and delightful since 2002. She has to put up with Obi-Wan’s grumpiness and – frankly – his dose of droid-racism, as well as living in the shadow of Anakin’s droid, Artoo. She dies tragically, too, decapitated by a buzz droid; it’s not played quite as heroically as some of these other droids.

EV-9D9 and 8D8: another couple; and I may be wrong (can’t be arsed trawling Wookieepedia) but I think they may actually be a couple, too. Anyway, these are also a touch obscure, but they’re Jabba the Hutt’s fantastic torture-droids. EV (Eevee?) is the red one with the cool flappy mouth who checks Artoo and Threepio in when Luke “gives” them to Jabba; “you’re a feisty one, but you’ll soon learn some respect”. 8D, meanwhile, is the lanky white one who’s cruelly burning a Gonk Droid and pulling the arms off a protocol droid. Together, they’re an ace pair of metal bastards; and I had both toys. Yay for torture!

GNK Power Droids: Gonk Droids; these are Gonk Droids. They’re massive cuboid things with fat little square feet, farting about in slow motion making stupid comedy sounds. Apparently they’re mobile power batteries, but who cares? They’re just a box on (short) legs, with no distinguishing features, and they make a silly noise and I love them to bits.

MSE-6 series Mouse Droids: ah, of course; how could we forget the remote-controlled toasters? Talk about your world-building, the fact that these tiny shoeboxes on wheels were tear-arsing around the Death Star corridors, utterly ignored by everyone, was another major facet in establishing the lived-in nature of this universe; these kinds of small, everyday droids were utterly commonplace. They also make a funny noise, and get scared when a Wookiee roars at them, and they’re just delightful.

Blimey, ten droids already! And that’s with me cheekily sticking some together in one entry. I know what you’re all thinking: no BB-8, what a travesty. But really I’m more gutted I couldn’t find room for one of those exploding Imperial probe droids; or even better, R5-D4, the little astromech who blows a gasket in A New Hope leading to Uncle Owen buying Artoo instead. I once read a story where Arfive was the first droid to develop the Force, and he foresaw the need for Artoo to be placed with Luke, and so heroically sacrificed himself. Anyway, he turned up again in Mando, so he can’t have been too poorly. So yeah: top droids. Sorry, BB.

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #13: “Forest” | December 17, 2007 - 12:15AM | S02E05

In this episode: Tim is out in the woods taking very bad photographs of nature. He has a disastrous run-in with chippy, resulting in a big burly mama Chippy (Eric in terrifying monster-man make-up) showing up and mauling Tim. It’s very dramatic and approximately cinematic, but it ends with Eric breaking character and smiling and striking a pose at the camera. It was probably a bit of footage that was not intended to be used. I feel like sometimes Tim & Eric went to that well maybe a little too often. The fourth-wall breaking “this doesn’t actually matter” thing happens pretty often on this show, and I can see how that would give certain people a bad first impression of the show who aren’t on their wavelength. I didn’t always love it, either.

The Married News Team are back! And Steve Brule is in tow! It feels like it’s been a while since we’ve seen the Married News; Brule showed up doing his own thing in a self-defense VHS tape earlier in the season. This bit is okay but not terribly strong; they are playing a mysterious video game (later in an interstitial we find out it’s “The Snuggler” video game) as a way to introduce Brule’s segment on video games. The joke here is Brule can’t think of the video game. Conceptually this is funny, but most of the sketch is Brule sitting in silence trying to remember the game.

You can’t help but feel a little robbed. Brule is a font of hilarious lines and turns of phrase, so it’s a shame to waste that. I do like little details in this sketch, like Wayne using a Game Gear as a controller for his video game. This almost seems like an intentional joke for how poorly video game hardware is accurately portrayed in television shows. There’s also the little take Wayne does the camera when Brule is mentioned, playing up the jealously he feels when he’s around. This dynamic would eventually take a really dark turn, but that’s a bit off from now. 

Back to Tim in the forest. He’s been left for dead by Mama Chippy, but he has no reason to fear, for the Snuggler is nearby. The Snuggler is played by Tairy Greene, who is played by Zach Galifianakis. He has a fox companion named Michael J. The joke is a reference to Micheal J. Fox, and for some reason this joke alluded me for years because I just thought the name “Michael J.” was funny, and don’t normally associate intentional cultural references with this show. There’s not a ton to this bit either, but it’s fun. Most of the humor comes from the incessant use of title cards and on-screen bugs for the fictional “The Snuggler” television program. His superpower is that he just snuggles people back to health. Sure enough, he immediately begins spooning the bloodied Tim, soothing him almost immediately. 

There’s an Uncle Muscles “classic” clip from 1993 starring Casey and his Brother. This is what I’ve talked about before; Casey is dead, so every time they do a new Casey and his Brother sketch they make sure to announce that it’s from the archives. Here they perform “Horse and Buggy Ride”. I like these bits fine. I may be repeating myself here, but I honestly think they perfected the formula with the “Right Way to Rock” promo, where Casey is at his least ill-seeming. They brought Weird Al in just to record an intro for this; unless they banked a few during the season one shooting session. I don’t remember how much Uncle Muscles shows up in this season. 

Video Match, A Dating Service is next. The joke here is mostly the absurd visual of the video subject appearing to have no nose. This is all through digital trickery. It’s funny enough! I wonder if the intent was to have this effect appear to be the result of a video tracking error sort of mad-fold-inning the image. For some reason it took me a couple viewings to realize that this is the same guy from the upcoming song “Petite Feet” even though he basically hits all the same bullet points. 

The true classic bit from this episode is “Petite Feet”. With the lyrics “petite feet, feminine step / sounds like a lady when he’s walking in the room”. It’s very catchy, and the characters Tim & Eric play are hilarious, a couple of lameoids who live for billiards and aggressively pursuing sexual encounters. They champ at the bit to fuck this piece of trim just based on the sound of the footsteps. The song continues “this is what a man sounds like when he walks” (a masculine-sounding instrument) “but this is what that dude sounded like when he walked” (a feminine-sounding instrument).

I remember my friend Andrew telling me about an awkward family gathering where he tried to show a family member this sketch, thinking he MIGHT appreciate it. They feigned interest, but they were just waiting to show Andrew his own viral-style internet video, which was just a bullshit Jesus PSA about how people who believe in evolution are heretics who are going to hell. Literally could not be further from Tim & Eric.

I also remember this bit being performed live. I don’t remember if it was because I saw it or if this was one of a few Tim & Eric live things I saw on video. In the live bit, they perform the song and the trading of masculine and feminine instruments goes on longer, with Tim & Eric becoming more and more frustrated by the failure of the instruments being handed to them by Jon Mugar. Eventually they become so angry with him that they slap him silly and storm off the stage. Mugar is holding a horn in his hand. He turns to the audience and seamlessly begins performing the hundred holiday honks: which is to say he just turns around and squeezes the horn 100 times without saying anything. It must’ve been extra baffling to those who were unaware of Tim & Eric’s Super Deluxe output. 

This one ends with Tim showing Eric a slideshow of his forest excursion. We get to deeper on his rescue by The Snuggler. Zach gets testy when Tim laughs at his pine cone puppet show because Zach feels it’s not meant to be funny. They casually devour Michael J. Tim owes his life to The Snuggler. Unfortunately Eric doesn’t care about this “at all” and the show ends with Tim & Eric pathetically waving goodbye to the camera. Their ad-libs during the credits are funny enough, but I have a pet peeve about this. VH1 had a lot of bad talking head shows where comedians would say lame jokes over repurposed footage of various things, and I feel like all too often a lot of these bits ended with a grinning Doug Benson sarcastically smiling and waving goodbye after delivering his stupid punchline. I can’t help but think of that when Tim & Eric do it here.

Honestly, this one is sorta weak, which seems like it’s always the way when Adult Swim takes it upon themselves to promote an episode of Tim & Eric heavily. Whatever I find annoying in a Tim & Eric show probably reads as “easily digestible” by the network. Detached irony is easier to take when it’s more obvious, maybe. I like detached irony, but I like it without the filthy tude. Oh yeah, I didn’t mention it yet, but Adult Swim promoted this one pretty heavily. Read on!

EPHEMERA CORNER

The Snuggler Stunt (December 16, 2007)

On the evening of the above episode’s premiere, Adult Swim went all-out promoting it by adding promotional on-screen bugs that were intentionally obnoxious, advertising “The Snuggler”. These bits included little video footage of Zach saying “I am the Snuggler” and stuff like that. It was meant to mimic a more typical network’s advertising methods, by covering the lower-third with garish advertising for upcoming programming during the show you were currently watching. They only did this during the repeats, if memory served. Xavier was spared of this. 

Unfortunately these bits aren’t on Youtube; I was hoping to find somebody had compiled the on-screen bugs. This stunt seems largely forgotten. I think I might have a recording somewhere. I’m a broken record, but I really need to find all that stuff and save it. Fuck.

MAIL BAG:

Vernon Chatman is a  nihilistic POC while you're just a  nihilistic POS. And we'll be right black.

Hey, you are right and I respect you!

[jadyn2303]

The voice startled you. At first you thought it was just a dream. But the voice sounded familiar to you. Yet it also filled you with a sense of dread and urgency to the point you thought you must be going crazy. It was dark in your room, the glow-in the dark stars on your ceiling had long since lost their green luster. Maybe it was just anxiety? There was no way you actually heard a voice when you were home by yourself right? Maybe that was it. Your parents had left for a long weekend and left you home by yourself. You were just anxious, your brain was playing tricks on you. You shut your eyes and turned on your side. Just when you started to fall asleep you heard the voice again. "You need to get out of here. They're coming for you." This time you sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. You looked out the window before calling out into the empty house. "If this is someone's version of a prank it's not funny!" You pulled your knees up to your chest as you tried to breath through the growing panic and fear. You shut your eyes again. "It's not a prank im serious." Now a bit angry you stood from your bed and began searching your room for a recorder or a camera or anything. You checked your lamp, under your desk, on your desk, in your closet, and finally under your bed; But you didn't find anything except dust bunnies and a sneezing fit. Your alarm clock said it was one in the morning. Why did your brain hate you so much? With a groan you flopped back down on your bed and covered your face with your hands. "Do you not remember me?" The voice asked. Why did it only talk when you were half asleep or your eyes were closed? Should you answer the question? You were definitely going crazy. "No I don't remember you." you stared at the opposite wall blankly without receiving an answer. You were so tired, you found yourself dozing again. "When you were little, I protected you then, but you were also frightened of me." Something clicked into place. A memory long forgotten. When you were five, something had come into your open window, only for the monster under your bed to grab them and devour them. You had run to your parents room and told them what happened, and they came and looked under the bed. But upon finding nothing, they told you to go back to sleep, it was just a dream. You didn't believe them, and drew a picture the next day to show them exactly what you saw and ended up in therapy as a result. Nothing ever came through your window again even though for awhile the monster would touch your arm at night. The sharp talons were surprisingly gentle. At first it had frightened you further, until you realized the reason your bed rocked you to sleep was because of the monster.

Eventually you were able to sleep without it's comfort and forgot all about it. Could it have still been there all this time? This time you kept your eyes closed when you answered. "I thought you left? Or just stopped exsisting. Maybe I imagined you. That's what the therapist said." You heard a soft tut and suddenly you could feel a cold sharp hand wrap around your arm. Instinct said you should be afraid but the monster had given you some sort of warning, and had taken care of you in childhood. When you opened your eyes there was nothing there, but you could still feel the cold on your arm. "Why do I need to leave? My parents will be back in a couple of days. No one knows they're gone. How could I be in danger?" You ask as you slip your eyes shut again. "They're not your parents. They're shadows. Like the ones that came through your window that night. They're angry they couldn't turn you into a shadow as well. Because you're fifteen, it's another prime age for them to turn you. It's the duty of monsters to protect their children even if we make them fear us in the process. There aren't many true humans left in the world, which is why you must leave. I don't know if I can stop them this time." Your heart pounded at this news. Something had always seemed off to you. About your friends, and your family and other people too. You never would have guessed this was the reason why. "If they came through my window last time, then where can I go that is safe?" You questioned, almost dreading the answer. "Away from here especially. The shadows will come through me this time. They will destroy me to turn you as an example to other monsters." You didn't like the sound of that at all. "Can't you fight?" There was another tut. "I am a rare shadow monster myself. One of the few who defacted from the shadow project. Fighting would be futile." The cold on your arm disappeared, and you opened your eyes to see a shadow on the wall from the lamp. It had sharp teeth, and talons for hands. "Now please child. It isn't safe. You must go. Stay away from beds if you can help it. Especially around each five number age." You grabbed your backpack from school the previous year, grsteful you had taken care of it and packed it full of some basic necessities. Instead of opting for the door you decided to climb out of the window. Turning back once to give your monster one last long look. "what is your name?" you question, realizing you've never known. "it's Hiei. It means shadow."

You smile to yourself at the memory as you sit in a rocking chair in a dark house now aged ninety-five. As far as you know you're the last and oldest true human alive. All because of your merciful shadow.

Now in your mid teens, you forgot all about the monster under your bed. One night though, it wakes you up saying “You’re not safe. You need to get out of here”

[secretgarden02]

IDV story

Hey, it's been a while I posted in here lol. I been busy on college stuff and recently IDV has just added a copycat mode (it's basically among us with bunch of roles for each person like among us new update). Gotta say that it's very fun so far :D I used to play among us few times so it didn't take me that long to get used to the whole mechanic

Sadly I didn't get to record this particular match, but this one is very fun despite the match lasted half hour lol. I didn't expect to be a copycat (the killer) and what do you know, the Kokichi player is also my comrade! It's even funnier that my friend joined along in crossover as Kyoko and another stranger joined as Makoto

Long ramble alert to how it goes: (I might draw this scenario in future)

So some fun story- I almost got voted out in the first meeting since I happen to kill the person that basically announce the emergency meeting immediately when someone kills them. I tried to stay calm and describe that I found the body when the light was out (I was the one that turned off the light). Makoto happen to bypass me earlier when I was about to kill, so Makoto then figure out immediately that I self-reported. Kokichi and Kyoko backed me up and I accused back that Makoto might be the 'copycat' since he just happen to left the room the body was in. No one believed him and believed me instead LMAO

In next meeting, sadly Kokichi got killed by Makoto (Makoto have the role 'hunter' (a detective role) where he's able to kill anyone with no consequences, and he happen to kill Kokichi who is a 'copycat'). The black Orpheus (number 2) found the body and then Makoto said that he's the hunter and he killed Kokichi because he's the copycat. I saw that as an opportunity to vote him out because people was already suspicious of him since the first murder and I have my own alibi with me been staying near bunch other people. And what do you know, he get voted out :D (sorry Makoto LOL)

This is where the pressure start to set in. I always hate getting a killer role because I genuinely have no idea what to do 😂😂 it took me about 10 minutes to kill a person (managed to kill number 2) and goes undetected while blending with bunch of people. The green orpheus (number 7) found the body and during the discussion, they almost accused me until the orpheus defended me because I been staying with him most of the time (I'm using the strategy where I use him for my alibi shield). During meeting, we ended up voting out Yusuke (number 5) since he was seen leaving the crime scene by Kyoko. What do you know? I happen to get lucky for managed to vote him out because if I have to kill him, he might be able to kill me back (he's a 'boxer' role and he have the ability to defend himself)

Managed to get away unscathed and again, the less people in the group, the more harder to kill someone undetected so when there's only 4 people left (including me), I was stressing SHDFKJS- tho my friend (Kyoko) eventually called emergency meeting because they were getting suspicious of either green Orpheus or the coordinator (I don't know the character collab skin she's wearing lol, but she's number 10 is what I'm referring). We eventually do random vote and when green Orpheus said he's going to vote out number 10, I take that advantage and voted her so she got voted out LOL (thanks m8).

3 person left. Kyoko suggested that we stay together until the emergency meeting can be used when we're in vc, but well- I killed them afterwards and won :P sorry friend LMAO (they were feeling betrayed lol) funny thing is that they almost won too if I misplaced my vote on them in previous meeting because they have the 'fool' role (basically just get voted out from the group and they won the game, they're in neutral side)

It's just very funny to imagine this whole thing with DR character since we're wearing DR skins and Shuichi being a silent killer is.... something you would not expect 😅 even managed to kill Kyoko as well and win is quite the feat

[catherinnn]

Ten seconds.

Sirius Black x reader.

Reader and Sirius manage to have a picture of the first time they finally kissed.

warnings: my English, like one swear word and kissing, very fluffy.

a/n: this is first Sirius x reader fic I wrote, I had this idea from a tiktok and just thought of Sirius bc he's the only thing I think about lately, I hope you like like it <33

Y/n was spending her Christmas break with all of the marauders in James' house. She firstly become friends with Remus in second year and eventually started hanging out with all of the group. She was in Revenclaw but never actually got along with anyone at her house, just her dormates, and when she started studying with Remus Lupin and Lily Evans in the library, she found out that she actually got along better with griffyndors.

Now they're in their sixth year.

James and Sirius were discussing about going to muggle London, they were already tired of being inside all the time and convinced James' father of letting them go there alone. That pair could be very persuasive sometimes.

Her relationship with Sirius has always been weird, if anything. Becouse when she first started hanging out with the marauders, James and Remus accepted her with open arms, Peter was rather quiet and nervous around her at first, but over time he started to trust and like her more, but Sirius was completely negated on this whole new marauder girl situation, she wasn't even in griffyndor, she was just a nerdy, cowardly revenclaw girl to him at first, how would she ever say yes to one of their pranks ideas?

But over time he realised that she was always on board with them, especially when they wanted to prank the slytherins, and even better if it was on Snivellus. She had some pretty good ideas and she was even better to escape from detention threats from professors or prefects. She could be really persuasive sometimes.

Eventually he accepted her as a marauder and as a friend to him, a really good friend. She always understood his problems with his family becouse she never got along with her mother either, she had a very toxic relationship with her since she was a kid. So every time he had a new letter from home, he would open it with her. Or when he had had a fight with Regulus in the halls, he would go to her firts.

On the start of their fifth year, Sirius-- well not just Sirius and rather all the boys in their year, had a surprise when y/n showed up more... developed, along with most fifth year girls.

He started throwing a flirty comment here and there to her every time they were hanging out, even if the marauders--or anyone-- were there with them, even one time he said something about her eyes in front of McGonagall, that was very embarrassing for y/n, but Sirius was still with a grin on his face when McGonagall throwed a funny look to them.

Now in their sixth year y/n had become more confident of herself, and started to respond to his flirty comments, in a more flirty way of course, becouse she enjoyed the smug on his face or his blushed cheeks sometimes--yes, she had made Sirius Black blush. But even with their flirty relationship, they were still just friends, they had both been in relationships in previous years with other people, but never made a move on each other, not even a drunk kiss at a party.

But anyways, here they were, all five of them, in muggle London just walking around, buying muggle books and vinyl records of their favourite muggle singers, when they found a photo booth cabin.

"Merlin, we have to get some pictures of us in it" y/n said.

"What even is this thing" James asked.

"You get in the box and it takes like four pictures of us, it's really fun" she responded.

"But they don't move like magic pictures do, they just stay still and they're in black and white" Remus added.

"That sound kinda boring-"

"We'll do it!" Sirius interrupted Peter, they all squeezed in the cabin how they could and took a lot of funny and cute pictures of the group.

They ended up having like nine stipes of pictures, but y/n wanted to take more.

"Alright, that's enough for me" said Remus getting out of the booth.

"Yeah, we already have plenty of pictures of us" James agreed following him with Peter

"No, c'mon let's take a few more" y/n whined, the other boys said no to this but not Sirius.

"Alright, we'll take some more pictures of us then, we're the best marauders anyways" Sirius comforted her, staying inside the cabin with her.

"I heard that" James yelled while he was already walking away with Peter and Remus.

So they payed for another stripe of pictures with the few muggle coints they had left.

For the first picture Sirius stick his tongue out looking at the little camera and y/n smiled showing her teeth, they waited ten seconds and for the click sound and changed their positions, they were now putting their middle fingers out to the camera, waited for the box to take the picture and then Sirius changed to look at her instead, he grabbed her neck and kissed her cheek, he stayed like that and y/n-- trying to not smile at his action-- throw a kiss to the camera, they waited ten second like that and before Sirius could turn his eyes at the camera again y/n turned her head to look at him now.

He stayed still looking at her.

Ten seconds.

She had ten seconds to decide whether she should do what she had on mind or not. Ten seconds to decide whether to kiss him or not.

They looked at each other and y/n slowly grabbed his cheek.

Eight seconds.

He had plenty of time to look away, but he didn't.

Five seconds.

He stayed watching y/n, waiting for what he hoped her next action to be.

Two seconds.

She leaned closer and kissed him.

One second, the camera took the picture.

They kept kissing, their four pictures already taken and the booth was printing them out.

The picture string was waiting for them to grab it, but they didn't, they kept kissing each other.

Sirius had grabbed her head to kiss her passionately, he had waited so much for this to happen.

She put her hands to his hair and played with it while their tongues fought. She had waited so much for this to happen.

Eventually they pulled away from the kiss.

"Wow" he exhaled, y/n looked at him fighting a smile and losing.

"Felt like the right time to do it" she said.

"Totally" he agreed and gave her a peck on the lips, smiling.

They took the stripe from the booth and they had a perfect picture of their first kiss. The first of many.

After all of that, they got out of the cabin, he held her hand, and went to find their friends.

It hadn't passed much time for the rest, but for them it felt like it had passed a long time.

"Oh, there you are" Remus noticed them, not really minding their hands holding, it was normal for the pair to show a little affection, it happened almost every day, but this time it was way different for them both.

"Well, don't just stay there, show us the pictures" James asked, they looked at each other.

"I think this one is going to stay just for us" Sirius said, but this only made James more curious, he went to grab the stripe of pictures in his hand, Sirius pulled back and pushed him with the hand that was holding y/n's. Then both boys started fighting for the pictures.

Y/n just laughed while Remus and Peter rolled their eyes, this kind of fights happened all the time in the dorm.

"Get off of me you idiot, you're going to brake it" Sirius yelled, James ended up grabbing the stripe and when he looked at it, he almost choked.

"NO WAY!!" the other two boys went next to James to look at it also, and they both screamed too.

"Fucking finally!" Remus said "I was getting tired of the tension between you two."

The boys keps teasing the couple and they just smiled rolling their eyes but silently agreeing with Remus, fucking finally.

[exploringxshadows]

knockknockinginthedark​:

▪▪▪ Unsurprising that he’d end up gravitating towards a certain botanist.  It was good for him, in his opinion, to be in the company of someone  like Dr. Lunde. The botanist was a good, strong fatherly figure that served  as a perfect role model and a solid support for those who needed it. And boy, did Ickabod need all of those things.

          ▲”Right, it’d be very awkward to use. While I think you’d have  the element of surprise the first time, you don’t exactly have the best  track record for grace and balance, Ickabod.”▲ It was a little bit of a tease, a little bit of an objective fact. Ickabod practically stumbled or fell through life - trying to use a weapon that required any degree of grace was not going to end well in his favor. ▲”This is true. It’s not a  complete waste, and I’m sure you can refine the design to be more practical in time.”▲

Now that Ickabod’s project had been shown and critiqued, of course  that meant his student was going to turn his attention to what Barnaby was doing instead. He watched as he fidgeted with the things on his desk. Any other professor might have scolded him for toying with his belongings - but he knew telling him to stop fidgeting wasn’t going to achieve much.  He’d just find a new way to fiddle with things.

          ▲”This is for class, actually. I was setting up for a lecture on steam engines and the theoretical ways we could increase the efficiency and  safety of them. I made a few small scale models for everyone to test to  see how they work in action.”▲

Barnaby gestured to the small models he had put out on tables around the room. They were tiny little things, easily able to sit on desks, with  water reservoirs that would be heated with oil lamp burners. They would power simple pistons and wheels just to show the generation  of energy - nothing too fancy, in his opinion, but it got the point across.

          ▲“It’s not quite as exhilarating as some of my independent research,  but such is the case for most of the professors here.”▲

He pointedly eased some notes that he had left on his desk away from  Ickabod’s wandering hands, tucking them into the folder they belonged in to keep him from snooping - or, more importantly, smudging or damaging the pages. ▪▪▪

█ ▌Anyone who knew Ickabod could tell he tended to gravitate toward the older, more responsible gentlemen of science - and not for reasons of a romantic nature. Rather, Ickabod seemed to always be on the lookout for someone who could guide him, someone he could look up to. Growing up as an orphanage and working as a factory boy for most of his young life probably had something to do with that. But as funny and kind as Dr. Lunde was, Dr. Ashewright was always his favorite.

   ⚙ “Heh, I suppose you’re right. I may not have all the grace and poise in the world, but no one can be perfect, huh?” Ickabod chuckled and gave a playful wink. “Oooh, steam engines? I love a steam engine.”

Ickabod got close to the models and supplies on Barnaby’s desk, getting a closer look and squinting to inspect everything as he listened. He was always doing this, hanging around to get an extra chance to talk to Barnaby and learn more about his lectures before they even had class. He may have been a pest, but no one could say he wasn’t a good student. Perhaps not the best behaved student, but his good marks made up for that...sometimes.

  ⚙ “Independent research?” Ickabod suddenly seemed to perk up, looking more interested. “What independent research? Are you working on anything right now? Heh, you know, I was just thinking it might be fun to get some hands-on experience in the engineering field eventually, you know? Maybe as an assistant? An errand boy? A test subject? Last week, I spoke to Miss O’Toole -- she was helping re-attach my prosthetic when I took a tumble out of the rafters, don’t ask -- and she had a couple of assistant surgeons following her around for training. Mind you, I imagine engineering is a little different, but still...”

He had a big, stupid grin on his face. It was obvious what he was hinting at, but whether or not Barnaby was looking for an assistant was another thing. At the very least, Ickabod was planting a little seed of suggestion.

@exploringxshadows wants to head to university.

▪▪▪ It was a dark, gloomy morning in England. The blanket of storm clouds overhead blotted out the sun, swollen past the point of bursting. Rain tapped on windows and across cobblestones, leaving murky puddles in their wake. The soft breeze that weaved through winding streets left a chill in the air, a damp cold that could soak down to your very bones.

The sprawling university grounds, normally bustling with faculty and students alike, was notably quiet this morning. Everyone had retreated into the depths of the old buildings to seek reprieve from the weather, leaving only the poor souls that tended to the grounds and other menial work to face the elements.

The gas lamps hissed faintly, bathing halls and classrooms in golden light, chasing off the sleepy gloom that would've otherwise settled into every nook and cranny of the massive buildings. It was still early, certain professors setting up their classrooms and presentations for the day while others were already greeting their classes and starting their lectures.

Barnaby Ashewright was one of the professors who still had an hour's time before his students would start funneling in. The machinery for his class had already been set up, small models of engines that could be scaled up eventually for use in factories - now it was simply a matter of making sure he had everything written up on the stretch of chalkboard at the front of the class, and all of his supplies for the students were on hand.

Many of the professors at the university were focused on the sciences - all matter of new and fascinating subjects that were once only pipe dreams to humanity. Medicine, chemistry, what could be done with plants, fringe subjects that most scientists dared to brave. If you could think it, someone likely taught it - or pursued it outside of class hours. While he was not among those who pursued the more medically-inclined positions, he was still a scientist. And an engineer.

His study was machines, the future of industry and what machine meant for man. Whether it was mechanical beasts of burden, less dangerous machines that worked just as if not more efficiently, prosthetics that could replicate a living appendage - and his class was to encourage others to pursue that same lens and want to improve the world.

In the room with rich wooden paneling and marble tiling floors, he stood out as he stood by the chalk board. A man in his mid forties with tanned skin and a fiery head of hair with a matching beard and mustache, dressed in a suit of blue and cream. He leaned on a cane, nursing his bad leg as gloved fingers drew diagrams and notes. He hummed a simple tune under his breath as he adjusted his glasses and shuffled, too preoccupied with his work to notice if anyone stopped by the open door of his classroom. ▪▪▪

[recurring-polynya]

Do I mind if I ask how you approach writing longer fic? I've always struggled to write anything more than maybe two chapters long and I'm curious if you have a particular method to how you approach such stories.

Thank you so much for this ask! I absolutely love it when people ask me for writing advice because it makes me feel like a Smart Person Who Knows Things.

Before we start, here is one grain of salt to take all of this with: I have a naturally long-form brain. It is very hard for me to write something less than 1k. Short fiction is great, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to short things if that's what your brain likes to do.

So. You have decided to write a story. This is going to focus on "stories". Some people write fic that's more freeform or whatever, I am not going to cover that. What I mean by a story is this:

It starts

Some stuff happens

It ends

It is highly probable that your story contains a change of state, which could be that a villain is defeated, or a goal is reached, but it could also be that character falls in love with another, or someone learns to like broccoli.

I like to start out by completing the sentence, "This is a story where _______". This is basically like coming up with a summary for an ao3 post, except that it doesn't need to be catchy. Lots of different kinds of things could go in that blank! It could literally be what happens: This is a story where Ichigo goes back in time and punches young Aizen in the nose. It could be about what you want to explore: This is a story where Hitsugaya gets a better understanding of his zanpakutou. It could be about the vibe you want to achieve: This is an AU where everyone is in a punk rock band and has cool hair and outfits. The idea of this is to clearly define what you, the author, is interested in writing. Make sure it feels right! Maybe you pick the first one, but when you say it out loud, you say, "You know, I really just want Ichigo to go back in time so he can horse around with young Renji and Rukia and punching Aizen in the nose is just an excuse for that." That may sound dumb, but it's fine, actually! Most people don't read stories strictly for the plot, they read stories for the implications of those plots! Will my favorite two characters kiss? Will there be funny interactions between these two groups of characters? Will there be sick fights? Stories are excuses to have scenes. Sometimes, you will have a story where the interesting sequence of events is the draw, but the point is to know what you're about.

Once you feel happy with your "mission statement", you need to decide the bounds of your story: where it starts and where it ends. It may be easier to start with the end. In some cases, it may be obvious from your mission statement: everyone gets home, a villain is defeated, Kenpachi realizes the meaning of friendship. On the other hand, let's look at that punk rock AU. You've picked a vibe, but you don't really have a natural story arc. It has to have a destination, though, otherwise, it's not really a story, it's a recipe for 3 chapters of an abandoned fanfic. So brainstorm a little: Maybe they get a record deal? Maybe they win a Battle of the Bands? Maybe Byakuya accepts that the band is actually good and tells Rukia he is proud of her. Do not settle for a plot just because it works. Pick something that makes you excited! You're the one who is gonna have to write it!

I said that we needed to pick a beginning point, too, but I'm actually going to skip that for now. The next thing I do is think of all the Big Scenes I want to write, the ones you are hype to write, the ones that pop in your head as you think about the premise. Make a bullet list. They don't need to be in order. The descriptions don't need to be super detailed, but write down anything about it that is important to you. If there's a mood or a snippet of dialogue or a joke you want to make, go ahead and jot that down so you don't forget it later. What you're doing now is putting broad blotches of color on a canvas, filling in space and leaving the detail for later.

Once you are pretty happy with what you have down, try to arrange it in chronological order. Put your end at the end (if it wasn't one of your big scenes, add it now). The next task is figuring out how to traverse your scenes. You've already picked out where you want to spend the majority of your energy. The rest, I regret to tell you, is your slog writing. Now, it often happens that you will find joy in some of these scenes and your best writing may occur there, but that's serendipity. These are the scenes that you are gonna have to make yourself sit down and write, so you honestly want to limit them to just the ones you need.

So how do we do this? Look at the first thing on the list. Can you start there? If so, congrats, that's your beginning. If you can't, what needs to happen to get to there? Where can you start so that you can get to your first fun scene as soon as possible? There. That’s it. You’ve picked your beginning, good job! Now, go through the rest of your list, and add in things that must happen, even if you don’t particularly look forward to writing them. The characters need to travel from geographic point A to point B. Shuuhei needs to say something that Izuru hears and misinterprets. The Central 46 makes a new law. If you have a good idea of how these things happen, go ahead and write them down, but it’s okay if you don’t know yet. Fill in all the blanks so that if you think of each bullet list as a scene, you could read it as a story, start to end. Once you get writing, you might add more scenes, or move things around or whatever, but you should have a thing that functions as a story.

If you struggle with this, an alternative is a story with a very strong structure that is going to guide you though what you have to write.Here are two examples from my own stories Hold On, Hold On (which is only one chapter, but the principle is the same) is structured around the 5 stages of grief. Not Broken, Just Bent takes place over roughly a week, and I just decided what happened every day of the week. See You on the Other Side takes place in the middle of a bunch of canon events, which worked at mile markers.

Congratulations. You’ve just made a rough outline!

Special note for avoiding burnout!: I am a slogger. I will drag myself through the broken glass of an interminable plot to get to a single thirsty scene. That's why, at this stage, I try to look at the ratio of what I want to write to what I must write. It's gonna vary for everyone, but this is a hobby, and if looking at this proto-outline makes you feel deeply tired, maybe this isn't a good story to be devoting your time to! Can you carve it down? Can you chuck two scenes you really want to write and get rid of 80% of the slog? Or maybe you can't! In that case, just write that thirsty scene as a standalone drabble! Or just go work on something else! Maybe in the future, this one will come back to you and you’ll have a fresh idea or a renewed enthusiasm for it.

Another thing I sometimes like to do at this point is to write out some notes about my characters and their motivations and moods. Character A is homesick. Character B is so determined to defeat the enemy that they are having a hard time being sympathetic to Character A. Character C cares for both A and B and is trying to support them both. This is sort of background info that you want to keep in your head as you are writing. Depending on the type of story you are writing, this might actually be the main plot, or it might be happening subtly, but adding to the emotional impact of the story. It’s very easy for me to write these sorts of emotional arcs, but if you struggle with that, you may wish to go ahead and made a more detailed outline for that, too.

Now, it’s time to start writing! I am great at beginnings-- it is very often the case for me that the opening scene was one of my Big Tentpole Scenes. (Before you hate me too much, I make up for this by being double horrible at endings; just let me have this) Usually, I will start at the beginning and write linearly for as long as I can until I get stuck. Then, I will look forward on my outline and do the next chronological scene that I feel like writing. In general, if I sit down to write and there is something I have an urge to write, that trumps everything else. Inspiration is a precious commodity, and you should embrace it when it hits! You can slog any day. I will occasionally hold off writing a scene that I really want to, because I am saving it, like a prize for myself for getting that far. This is a very personal process of figuring out what motivates your brain and then giving your brain what it needs to be its most productive.

Eventually, you will run out of things you are excited to write, but the good news is, you’ve got a bunch of story now! Odds are that what’s left is going to be a lot of those connective tissue scenes, and you’re just going to have to do them, except that now, because you’re connecting two concrete points instead of two abstract points, it will be a lot easier. You can continue running jokes you’ve started. Maybe you invented a cafe in an earlier scene where your characters hang out and you can have them return there. Try to think of ways to make these scenes more fun, both for yourself to write and for your reader to read. 

Around this time, I like to start refining that rough strokes outline into what I will call an “as-built” outline. (This is an engineering term where you update your plans or models for something to reflect any changes that had to be made along the way). This is a great activity to do at times when you feel like you have writers block. I write down every scene I have written as a 2-3 word blurb, in order. I break the scenes into what I think makes logical chapters, and I will do a word count on those prospective chapters and write it down. As you do this, you will realize that maybe you can move a scene from here to there, which will make it 1000% easier to write. Things may be happening too much, or you’ve got the characters eating three times in the same chapter. If you have subplots and dangling threads, this is where you make sure they get closure. I know this sounds very headache-y, but you are so far along in the story at this point that it’s really not-- it’s a way to look at the problems you have left. Use some sort of formatting (I like to bold things I haven’t done and sometimes I put them in red) and it gives you a very visual to-do list.

You specifically mentioned multi-chapter fanfics and I admit that I don’t tend to think in chapters, I tend to think of the story as a whole and just break it up where it feels natural. The as-built outlining I described is very helpful in making sure that my chapters feel balanced. They don’t necessarily need to be the same length, but I like them to have the same amount of stuff in them. One chapter may basically contain one long scene, and other may contain many short ones. I don’t tend to, but you can certainly have a fanfic that varies between short and long chapters, that can actually be an interesting effect. But like I said, I always like to know what I am doing, and so having it mapped out, you can say “welp, this is what I’ve done, how do I feel about that?”

Polynya, you may be saying at this point, do you write the whole fanfic before you post any of it? and I regret to inform you, the answer is yes. A lot of people write as they go, and I have made one attempt at this and I didn’t like it. I don’t like locking myself in, I just need to be able write out of order and go back and change things. Here is the story of a little in love: someone gave me an AU prompt and I got mildly obsessed with it, and wrote 5 snapshots drabbles in that universe, ending with a slight cliffhanger ending. I probably should have stopped there, but I decided to keep going. I wrote out an outline of 5 acts where the first act was detailed to the degree of each chapter being specified. The chapters here were much smaller than I usually make chapters: 1-2k. I wrote act i and ii and it was actually great, and then I hit act iii which required a lot of set up for misunderstandings and a mini romance arc. I couldn’t wing it, but nor could I figure it all out with outlining. I write dialogue in almost sort of an improv “Yes, and...?” style, so until I do it, I don’t know what’s going to happen. So, what I did was treat the second half of act iii as a complete story in the process I describe above, wrote the entire rest of it, and then posted it. One might notice that the chapter lengths grew to 3-5k each. I have two more acts to go, and I haven’t decided how I am going to do them yet, but I suspect I will treat each of them as their own mini-stories.

(I will admit that in Heart is a Muscle, I tend toward chapters that are about 10k long, and this is honestly too long, someone should smack me. If you like punchy chapters, 1-2k is good. I think 3-6k is probably an ideal chapter length. Is this how long the chapters are in my latest fanfic? Absolutely not.)

Okay, so there’s one more step, which is quality control. I am habitual re-reader-- I read my fanfics-in-progress over and over and over while I am working on them. I understand that not everyone does this, but I am usually the primary audience for my own writing, and this is the actual fun part for me. Nevertheless, you should re-read your work at least once, to make sure it hangs together.

This is purely optional, but I recommend it: get a writing friend (if you don’t like re-reading your work, I recommend this even more strongly). If you can get a full-service beta reader, that’s great, but if you can’t find someone, or if receiving that level of critique stresses you out, it’s perfectly valid to just find a friend who will read your stuff and a) shower you with compliments, b) reassure you about parts you aren’t sure about (or suggest ways to help) and c) point out any huge problems you missed. When I am writing a long fanfic, it is a huge motivational factor for me to be able to send my beta chapters as I finish them. If you are already an established writer, and you have people who consistently comment on your fic, they might be overjoyed to get a sneak peak at your work.

And that’s it! That’s the way I do it, anyway! Some people are able to sit down and write a very detailed outline and the write it start-to-finish. Good for them, I say! I have tried this and it doesn’t work great for me. I will admit that some of my fics (especially my early ones) I just sat down and banged out whole-cloth like an insane person and they are generally better than the ones I actually plan out, but that’s not a reproducible process.

As one final mechanical note, I usually write in Google Docs, which I can access on multiple devices (I used to write a lot on my phone), has convenient sharing functionality, and I use the ao3 html formatting script add-in. I generally have two documents for a single story-- one is the outline, and any other notes I want to have handy. I’ll usually put a trashcan space at the bottom for scenes that got cut but I don’t want to lose. The other is the fanfic itself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to follow up with other questions and good luck with your writing!

[stateofloveandnegan]

All Grown Up II - Negan Smith

Here it issss, the second part. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it! I felt this was a good way to end it, but if anyone is interested in more parts to this story, please do let me know! 

pairing: negan x reader

short summary:

Your community comes across a community known as Alexandria. You come along on a visit to this new found community. What you never expected, was to see a familiar face living there; your old gymnastics teacher, professor Smith.

warnings/notes:

the reader is about 25 in this story. age gap relationship.

word count: 2.4k

Part one

Part two

Part three

MASTERLIST

“Welcome home.”

That sounded odd to Negan, considering he’d never been to Safe Haven, but it made him smile, nonetheless. “Thank you.” His voice was rather soft, almost a whisper, and you practically melted right there, his hands still holding your form ever so lightly.

After a moment of gazing into his eyes, you blinked. “C’mon, I’ll give you a tour.” When you finally looked away from him, you noticed some of your friends giving you knowing grins, which you brushed off with a roll of your eye.

Moving away from the older man, you smiled at him again. “Let’s start over here and then go around.”

Negan agreed and followed you around as you showed him the entirety of your home; Safe Haven. It was refreshing to him, to see a new place with new faces. No one judging him for his past.

When you’d gone through the whole community, with an occasional stop here and there, you eventually made it to your house. “You have a beautiful home here, (y/n). Thank you for taking me in.”

For someone you used to know as a cocky ass teacher, he had turned very soft. Or it had just always been buried deep inside him. Either way, it was nice to be able to see that side of him. Sure, in the past month or so, you’d definitely seen that cocky side as well, and you had to admit; you loved it. There was nothing like that gentle sound in his voice, nothing that made you as calm as when you heard that.

“There’s something else… since there aren’t any homes free, I was going to offer mine. I have a spare room with a couch that can be used as a bed, too. Unless you’d rather stay somewhere else?”

A little laugh left Negan’s lips as he shook his head, “That sounds perfect.” His smile made you feel a little something inside, but before you could put too much thought into that, you walked up to the door and opened it for him. “Come in.”

After showing him around the house, you felt quite hungry, and as a thank you for giving him this opportunity, he offered to make you both dinner. Much to your surprise, he was an excellent cook, managing to make something very special.

“This is delicious, Negan.” You said after a moment, your eyes meeting his while the two of you sat at your dinner table. He smiled and mouthed a silent ‘thank you’.

Perhaps it was a little awkward, to suddenly be so free in each other’s presence, and to know that you’d be together almost every day from now on. But it was also exciting; you couldn’t wait for it all.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Negan’s voice pulled you back to your dinner, a light blush of embarrassment creeping up your neck as a chuckle left your lips, “Sorry… I was just—I was thinking about how nice it is to have you here.”

A smile entered the older man’s face, looking down at his empty plate as he nodded. “I’m glad to be here.”

That smile… God, that fucking smile had your knees weak every damn time. You were lucky you were sat down on a chair, or your legs would’ve surely given in.

“It’s quite funny, isn’t it? Us… sitting here, eating dinner together. I never thought I’d meet anyone from before again, let alone my old gym teacher.”

“Jesus (y/n), don’t remind me I was your teacher.” A soft groan left the man’s lips, his hand moving up to cover his face. His reaction had you laughing a little and you slowly got up, moving to gather your plates so you could clean up.

When you stood close by him, he removed his hand from his eyes and looked up at you, “Let me help.” but you shook your head at his words, “You already cooked, I’ll clean up. Go get cosy in the living room, have a good look around. There’s some books and stuff.”

He tried very sweetly to get you to agree to him helping you clean up, but you weren’t having it and promptly sent him out of the kitchen, a smile on your lips as you watched him finally go.

Cleaning up the kitchen didn’t take very long, considering it was only the two of you and a few pans and knives. Soon enough, you finished up and left the kitchen, as well. When you got closer to the living room, you smiled when you heard some music playing.

Not very long ago, you were on a run and found a record player and some records, still all in good shape. With some arguing, you managed to keep it for yourself, giving it a nice spot in your living room.

When you heard which song was playing, you had to laugh. It was such a cheesy one, but you loved it. It was an old 80s record: Lady In Red by Chris de Burgh.

As soon as you appeared in the doorway to the room Negan was in, his hand reached out for yours and he gently pulled you closer. Your heartrate picked up at the action and sudden closeness of your bodies, eyes slightly widened.

“Relax.” His voice soothed you, making you relax in his grip as you moved your own arms up around neck. “Just follow my lead.”

You did as he told you, following his lead. Soon enough, you had the moves under control and your body loosened up a little, a smile appearing on your face.

Negan was a good amount taller than you, yet it felt like your faces were mere inches apart from one another.

When you looked up, you noticed Negan was already looking at you and you felt your cheeks heating up. Ever since that first time you saw him in Alexandria, you started falling for him, and now you were in it, deep.

His gazed flicked down from your eyes to your lips, making your heart almost jump out of your chest. Unwillingly, your gaze did the same, really focusing on his lips and the way they were ever so slightly parted.

You were already absentmindedly moving to stand up on your toes, when Negan suddenly pulled away, leaving a cold space behind where his body was just pressed against yours.

It only really hit you what happened when Negan moved towards the record player to turn the thing off. “It’s getting late, (y/n/n). We should go upstairs.”

The realisation of what was going on made your chest ache, a small frown appearing on your forehead, which you quickly hid when your eyes met his again. A small chuckle (that absolutely didn’t reach your eyes) falling from your lips.

“Yeah, let me get you some clean bedsheets for your bed.”

Feeling like you were suffocating in that room, you quickly left to go upstairs and make Negan’s bed. He really… really did just pull away the moment you were about to… kiss? Yeah, that’s exactly what happened. Your eyes closed for a moment while you stood by his bed, the sheets in your hands.

Fucking hell, what were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? Now everything would be awkward as fuck, just because you couldn’t keep your little crush to yourself.

The sound of someone clearing their throat had you opening your eyes. “You need any help?” It was Negan, of course it was. You quickly shook your head, giving him a smile, “No, I can manage this, don’t worry. You can go use the bathroom now if you want.”

He nodded at your suggestion and left you be again, making you sigh out deeply as you got to fixing his bed.

When you were done, you left to go to your own room. You gathered the clothes you would sleep in and waited until you heard Negan leave the bathroom.

What you hadn’t anticipated, was the fact that he could’ve possibly slept shirtless. So when you saw him standing in the hallway, in just some shorts, you felt yourself freeze on the spot.

There was definitely some awkward tension, despite both Negan ad you trying to act as if nothing happened. “It’s all yours.” He eventually spoke up, smiling while pointing at the bathroom.

“Thanks. If there’s anything else you need…”

He shook his head, his dimples on display making you melt. “I’m good, thank you. Sleep well, (y/n).”

You returned the wish of a good night, before slowly disappearing into the bathroom. After doing your thing, you returned to your bedroom and slipped into your bed.

Another deep sigh left your lips before you let your eyes fall shut, sleep soon consuming you.

The next day, you were up early and that turned out to be a good thing when one of your friends, Julian, came to find you and ask for your help. There was something wrong with one of the barriers holding the wall up by the gates, so you went to work and got it fixed.

It was already noon when you saw Negan’s figure walking around the grounds. He was holding some gardening tools, so you figured he offered to help with planting new crops. It was nice of him, to start working and helping the community so quick after his arrival.

The day went by in the blink of an eye. Before you knew it, you were half sitting, half lying on the couch. Dinner had been something easy today and Negan was just finishing with cleaning up before he joined you.

Even though there was some tension between you two earlier, it seemed to be all gone now, which you were very grateful for.

The couch was just big enough for the both of you to fit on, though not without your bodies touching. Your mind was going back to last night, but you closed your eyes and managed to think of something else before you got too into it.

You had no idea what Negan was doing, but when you opened your eyes, you saw him looking at you in deep thought. He didn’t even realise you caught him staring at you before he blinked.

“Everything okay?” you asked gently, making him let out a soft laugh. Something seemed to be on his mind.

Before he answered, he sighed. “I was an idiot last night.”

His words caught you off-guard; did he mean— “I don’t know why I pulled back. I didn’t want to, that’s for fucking sure.”

So, he did mean that. “It’s okay, Negan. I shouldn’t have initiated anything, I was a bit lost in… well, in you, I guess.”

There was no reason to beat around the bush anymore, was there? An embarrassed look entering your face, but he was quick to shake his head. “No, you did exactly what I was hoping for. I just chickened out.”

Once again, his words had you surprised, and the look on your face made him laugh. “Yeah, you heard that right.”

You burst into a soft fit of laughter, moving to sit up a little while your laughter died down. “So… if I were to do it again, you wouldn’t pull back?”

He shook his head.

Well, that made you nervous. But a good nervous. Like, the kind of nervous you get when you get ready for a first date you’re excited for.

Slowly, you scooted closer to him, until your side was practically pressed up against his side. He already turned his body a little; the position would make it easier for you to reach him.

Your heart practically jumped out of your chest with the rate it was beating at, but you pushed your insecurities to the side and moved closer and closer to the man sitting beside you, until your faces were only inches apart, again.

Negan must’ve noticed your hesitation because he was the one to make the last move. Your lips connected in a warm and soft kiss, Negan’s hand gently meeting your face. His fingers were rough as they traced over the side of your face.

You sighed out softly into the kiss, slowly moving yourself closer to him. He got what you were getting at and lifted you up just enough so you could slip into his lap, your arms wrapping around his neck again. Your fingers slipped into the hair at the nape of his neck. The action earned you a soft groan from the man sitting beneath you.

When you pulled apart, you were breathless. your faces remained close, and the feeling of Negan’s beard tickling your chin made you chuckle, which in return, caused him to chuckle.

One of Negan’s hands gently pushed your face back just enough so his eyes could meet yours, “That’s what should’ve happened last night. I even tried to set the mood with the cheesy fucking music.”

That made you laugh, your fingers playing with his hair at the back of his head. It was so soft. “I love it when you smile.”

God, he was on a roll, wasn’t he? Managing to make you feel so good and safe, and managing to make you blush like an idiot. “Thank you. I could say the same about you, you have a beautiful smile.”

Now it was his turn to look down, as if he was shy. The action was endearing, it made your heart skip a beat. Leaning in, you pressed your lips against his forehead.

The two of you stayed like that for a while. Holding each other, sharing kisses and loving glances. The moment was more perfect than you could’ve ever imagined it to be, but like everything, it had to end.

It was already really late and you both had a busy day on the planning for tomorrow, so it was time to go to bed. Before you went upstairs, though, Negan grabbed your hand, that signature grin of his back on his face.

“You making me sleep on the couch again tonight?”

“Woah, woah, tiger.” You laughed at his words, nudging him lightly. “Not so fast. Step by step. Soon enough you’ll be allowed in my bed.”

You finished your words with a wink at him. He was only teasing, and so were you, you both knew that. But to say the idea of him holding you at night while you were sleeping didn’t sound appealing was a lie. In fact, you couldn’t wait until the moment he would do just that.

[halfbakedideas]

When Life Goes Another Way

Desc: It's funny, how four seconds is not long enough to blink but long enough for someone to lose their life.

Or, Nya is four seconds too late to save the Ninja at the subway tunnel. How does this affect everything?

[Contains spoilers for Crystallised episode 16 “Darkness Within”]

The muscles in all their arms are screaming from the weight of the concrete from what used to be the roof. It is at that moment that the realization strikes all of them. Even with Cole’s superstrength and Zane’s titanium form, it is not enough. The four of them can only keep holding up the loose chunk of the subway tunnel for so long and that time is running out fast. Too fast. It won’t be long now.

A strange kind of peace washes over them all at that. After all the battles, fights and heart-stopping injuries over the years, this is how they will go out. Crushed by rubble.

“Guys, I’m sorry.” Cole says. His muscles are screaming from the immense strain of keeping them all from being crushed.

He’s the one with the super strength. He should be able to hold this piece of debris up. He’s the one who will fail them all. He’s the reason they will all be dead.

“It’s okay.” Jay tells him as sincerely as Cole’s ever heard him. There is no trace of humour anywhere in his voice. Those two words…he is not the only one who has accepted the impending death. There’s something strangely comforting in that.

I’m sorry guys.

Before Cole even opens his mouth after he has turned to him, Jay knows what he’s going to say. He knows what is coming. All four of them do. There’s an almost, kind of, peace surrounding them because of that. Contrary to what his best friend most likely believes right now, it is not his fault. The full blame rests on the shoulders of whoever controls the Crystal Spiders.

What Jay regrets the most is that he never had the chance to grow old with Nya; And that he was breaking his promise to her.

After Nya had become human again, the two of them had promised that they would always come home from a mission, battle, etc. They would eventually make it to old age together. Not anymore.

Not to forget that they would never get to marry. The couple had planned to get married when (not if, it had never been a matter of if for them) they got out of this current world-ending catastrophe (crystrophe, get it?). Now that would never come to fruition.

In those final moments, he was infinitely more aware of his Yang Medallion that was currently hanging around his neck and tucked under his tunic. All those years ago, he had asked Nya to be his Yang when no one had been sure if they would ever make it out of that battle against the Oni.

I’m sorry Nya.

Zane has come to the same conclusion that their brothers have. They will all die here and there’s nothing that they can do about it.

hopes that Pixal does not take the news of their death too hard. This fight will not be over just because three-quarters of the ninja are dead. Pixal will still need to fight, they hope that their death won’t impair her performance too badly.

The Yang medallion in their pocket is metaphorically burning them, mocking them for their hesitation. Hesitation that they will take to the grave. They had planned to ask the samurai to be their Yang later today. It seems that will never come to pass now; There is a core-deep sadness in that.

The two of them had made plans for the future. Eventually, they would have settled down and built a child together. They had been unable to come to an agreement on the gender of this future child.

“Then we will let them decide their own gender, when the time comes,” Pixal had declared and that was that.

They hope that whoever finds the remains of their body does not rebuild them again, once is enough. They refuse to continue to live in a world where their brothers do not. And that the Yang medallion will make it into Pixal’s possession. These two thoughts are saved as audio recordings in their “black box” instead of their usual memory storage; Until now, their “black box” memory storage had been empty. They had no need to use it until now.

I am sorry, Pixal.

The one thing that Kai regrets above all else is that they never had the chance to say goodbye to Nya. That she will find their bodies buried amongst this rubble.

They remember how destructive Nya’s ‘death’ had been and that had been only one person, how much damage will four deaths cause?

After all that joking around that their recklessness would one day kill them, that they will be the first one to die; that will actually be true. There is no coming back from being crushed to death by concrete, after all.

Oh. They never got to tell Cole that they love him. They hope that it is reciprocated. <s>I can assure you, Kai, it very much is.</s> Maybe there will still be a chance on the other side of the river?

They are leaving Nya behind. They are leaving her to fight a world-ending battle by herself (<s>she won’t be alone not with Skylor and Pixal at her side</s>). They won’t be able to protect her anymore.

I’m sorry little sis. 

In hindsight, it is a twisted kind of humour. Nya had taken four seconds longer to get to the boys, to rescue them. Those four seconds, barely long enough to blink, cost the original four their lives.

Her mech touches down in the street that is riddled up and down with more of those purple crystals. In front of what once was a part of the subway system that runs under the city.

There is no sign of her brothers anywhere in the street. All that there is here is destroyed concrete and debris. Nary a scrap of brightly coloured fabric to be seen anywhere. The samurai’s heart sinks at what it implies.

Her mech’s hands haul away boulder after boulder. Chunk after chunk. Finding nothing. Then finally, she pulls away the largest piece of debris. There are four bodies underneath, of four saddengly familiar people.

Their bodies are battered, slightly pancaked by the weight of the debris, but still mostly intact. An elephant-sized weight takes residence on her chest. With the utmost care, the former ninja picks up all four of the bodies and cradles them against the torso of the mech as she takes off back towards the monastery.

As soon as she touches down in the courtyard, the bodies are carefully placed down on the courtyard’s pavement before she jumps out of the mech.

“Pix, take the mech, go into the city; we’ll talk later,” Nya tells the android. She knew that Pixal had questions even though she nods, gets in the mech and takes off. But the battle going on in New Ninjago City is far from over just yet.

Master Wu has yet to say anything; is it for the better or worse?

When she landed, he was standing a few paces away, now he is kneeling over the prone forms of four of his students. The aging teacher looks up at her as she wordlessly joins him. After all, there’s nothing that she can say that can make this better, that can take away this pain.

Four seconds wasn’t even long enough for someone to blink. But it had been long enough for her brother, boyfriend and closest friends to lose their lives.

I’m sorry I wasn’t faster.

Epilogue: When they have the time, amongst fighting the Overlord and the Crystal Council, they bury the ninja at the base of the Mountain of Impossible Height. Pixal, Skylor, Nya, Wu and their parents are all present. For the three humans (well two full humans and one part-Oni) there was no doubt in burying them. But there was for Zane, who could be rebuilt and reactivated again. That is until Pixal comes across something interesting while she was going through the remains of the Master of Ice’s body. Upon connecting Zane’s ‘Black Box’ to the computer, Pixal finds two files. Both bear the main title “Zane Julien Final Wishes”; the first one has the subtitle “Body” while the second one’s subtitle is Pixal’s name. The android clicks on the first file. It is an audio-only file that outlines Zane’s wish to not be rebuilt again, being rebuilt once already is enough. They are steadfast in their refusal to continue to live in a world where their brothers do not. That will not be a problem, neither Nya nor Pixal were planning to rebuild them. The second file informs the viewer, whether that be someone else or Pixal herself, that the Yang Medallion in Zane’s chest cavity will make it into Pixal’s possession. She listens to the file once more before she crosses the room to Zane’s body and opens their chest cavity. She does indeed find a Yang Medallion in there. When Pixal comes out to join the others in burying the ninja, the Yang Medallion is hanging around her neck. Nya notices it, of course, she does, and the two share a sad smile.

We’re sorry.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo ranboo & others are mentioned - tommy won’t go home

this is part 14 to the great adventures series

an: I tried, days are a social construction on the tarosin blog… also i’m back baby <3

from the moment you were forced awake by tubbo streaming with ranboo, Tommy began sending several messages as in his own words you ‘weren’t answering him quick enough’, probably because you had only just woken up and had no idea what day or time it was.

Tommy: y/n

Tommy: y/n were going out soon I've decided so answer me

Tommy: y/n wake up

y/n: heh? I’m going nowhere I’m tired

Tommy: I’m sending you a ticket make sure you meet me there

it was around now you had the feeling you were going to be stuck with Tommy for a while and you had no idea what to expect. an hour later tubbo stopped streaming so you took this as an opportunity to say your goodbyes to tubbo and ranboo explaining you had no idea what was happening as Tommy refused to explain but you’d probably be back later so they don’t lock you outside like last time

“don’t smirk at me ranboo just because you’re tall doesn’t mean I can’t take you down”

“mhm sure yep”

“y/n you’re going to be late we’ll see you later”

soon enough you were with Tommy who finally decided to inform you of what was happening

“we’re going to go annoy George”

“great idea Tommy let’s go”

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for George to answer, the look on George's face is something you’ll never forget.

“Hello Tommy, is that y/n what are you doing here”

“Nice to see you too… the fuck”

a few minutes later you and Tommy were sat next to George when you found a rubber duck and started making it squeak annoying the others well that was until Tommy took it and started doing the exact same thing you were doing

“I now understand why you looked pissed George”

during the stream, you were sat in between the pair George looked at you and you nodded. a few seconds later George threw the rubber duck hitting Tommy, the pair of you left not long after that event and made your way to the hotel after calling tubbo to explain what was happening.

the next day you and Tommy met up with tubbo ranboo and George at a shopping centre where you were all almost immediately met with several people asking for photos and the chance to talk to you all, you hid behind ranboo until the crowd grew smaller. it didn’t take long for everyone to notice the piano before you had time to process what just happened tubbo ran to the piano dragging you with him accidentally pushing ranboo in the process

“SORRY RANBOO”

the pair of you began playing the piano Tommy joining shortly after. time flew by the five of you spent the rest of your time shopping and just enjoying each other’s company, before you knew it, it was time to get the train. you laughed at tubbo falling asleep on the window however karma quickly caught up as you ended up falling asleep on ranboos shoulder ranboo laughed quietly to himself not wanting to wake up you or tubbo

“I swear its always y/n and tubbo who fall asleep”

“its been a long day y/n couldn’t sleep in the hotel they kept mentioning something about ghosts I don’t know man they must have been watching too many horror films”

“mhm probably”

soon enough you were with the others, minx quickly pulled you into a hug

“Nice tattoo”

“I did it for money it was a sub-goal”

you and tubbo stood with Tommy looking at the ferret

“why’s it so long”

“tubbo does it look like I study zoology I play Minecraft for a living”

the next day you were at the beach, having only had a few hours of sleep the previous night it was safe to say you weren’t in the best mood, you sat next to ranboo occasionally falling in and out of sleep, ranboo kept an arm around you pulling you into his side making sure you were safe and didn’t hit your head on the rocks when you fell asleep. you were woken up by tubbo walking on something which he clearly shouldn’t be. eventually, you all made it back to tubbos house, Tommy and tubbo were in the kitchen while ranboo practised for mcc and you were asleep in the room you had been sharing with ranboo whilst he’s in the Uk.

the next day you all went out on another adventure, at this point you had no idea what was happening but you just went with it. you and Tommy chased a bird telling him about the subscribe button and giving him the name ‘funny boy’

“Why does that bird look just extremely anxious”

“because we’re too cool ranboo”

“maybe we should give him another name than funny boy”

“Charles”

it was at this point you all decided to leave poor Charles alone as it was pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with you.

the three of you made your way to the train station forgetting that the school students would be there, a few minutes later the three of you were swarmed by several students all trying to talk to you all.

“I think we might have got on when the schools are here”

“so thankful you pointed that out boo I thought we were being mobbed by several people cosplaying as school students”

“hi everyone hopefully no one has covid”

you backed away from the crowd moving closer to ranboo

“I bet tubbos really glad he chose not to come”

you tried to avoid the crowd by getting on the train, this failed miserably. people were excited to meet the people they look up to they were all determined to sit with you all on the train taking up the seats around you all, the three of you spent a lot of the train ride talking to them, unlike ranboo and Tommy you ignored the comments aimed at the three of you not wanting to get involved after all it was rather overwhelming so many people talking loudly at once, you ended up moving seats and had a quiet conversation with someone from your community, around half an hour later you were at your destination and said goodbye before joining Tommy and ranboo at wills. the three of you sat on the floor listening to will and the others practice. it’s pretty clear Tommy has a habit of finding things as you turned around to see him with a puppet of a shark pretending to bite you

“Tommy what are you doing”

“bye y/n scream it’s going to get you”

“ah”

realising you weren’t going to scream he began telling joe, Wilbur and David to scream.

after spending time with the others and having a quick trip to the beach you Tommy and ranboo ended up at the shop recording the three of you on the security camera

“If you take a picture from there 50p”

you looked at ranboo tilting your head in confusion even though he was wearing a mask and sunglasses he was clearly equally as confused, he pulled you into his side noticing you were clearly starting to get anxious, you hated confrontation even though it turned out to be a joke it still shook you up a little bit

“I'm only joking my friend…but I did get them”

“you did we took it serious”

“aye you did”

the three of you walked away Tommy still laughing

“he scared me”

after a long day, you all went back to tubbos, you and ranboo decided to end the night early, the pair of you made your way to the shared room. you both spent a few minutes talking about mcc and how you were both going to win and coming up with new strategies. you must have fallen asleep mid-conversation as you didn’t remember seeing Tommy come into the room last night yet you were woken up by him complaining that ranboo playing mcc woke him up.

after getting ready you sat planning an adventure with tubbo

“So where do you wanna go bo”

“We should do something really cool”

“l hope you know that wasn’t helpful”

“pumpkin patch”

“it’s summer where do you think we’re going to find pumpkins…wait tubbo in October I’m taking you to a pumpkin patch it’ll be great we hardly spend time together as a pair near Halloween”

“I promise this year we’ll spend more time together”

your conversation was interrupted by Tommy and ranboo announcing they were ready to go to the beach again. once there tubbo sat arguing with Tommy and ranboo over them needing a life jacket. meanwhile, you had walked away collecting pretty rocks and sea glass putting them in the velvet blue bag covered in embroidered gold stars that dream had sent you as a thank you for the merch you sent him not long ago, you walked along the beach quietly talking to yourself

“ooh jack would like that and I could turn this into a ring for Niki…techno would like this and this would annoy schlatt it's perfect”

you laughed to yourself as you made your way back to the others thinking about schlatts reaction when he sees his gift. when you made your way back you watched Tommy swim over to tubbo leaving ranboo on his own probably waiting for you to return

“did you get any nice rocks then y/n you were out for a while”

“I did. come sit over there with me I’ll show you”

the pair of you sat next to each other away from the sea, ranboo matched your excitement every time you picked the rock you wanted to show him

“you’ve been collecting more than rocks? what’s that”

“I have !! you wanna see?”

“of course I do”

this was a moment neither of you would forget, the pair of you sat enjoying each others company looking at rocks and sea glass you had found on the beach ignoring the world.

taglist:

@denkisclown @emma0nline @fuzzycloudsz @wtfwriter @milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee @orkwardx0 @bearytime @kylobensgirl

[johnemulaney]

John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith. 

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll. 

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically. 

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times. 

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers. 

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs. 

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties). 

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is. 

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry. 

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny. 

 Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers. 

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days. 

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now. 

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep. 

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some. 

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up. 

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety. 

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer. 

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long. 

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group. 

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no. 

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while. 

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions. 

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been. 

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention. 

And that was the show.