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libidomechanica · 5 months

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Your wild and all his adjunct pleasant thou

A ballad sequence

Ring out the and waits for she things ev’n for that hears, than when these have made, and died. The womb where fills tell me with fancies

time the Sisters or spite; ring out thee that wantonness, and a wood with heauenly smile it was certaine knot of the Kiss

of the grave. By whom her own glass; when the margin of afternoon a guest, while deferred a purple breaker breathing

great planet that holy feet that sway the humble grief for our life, but somewhere, the shirt, he laies. Come; let us loud;

and age jumbled together in the last that which is, of unaccompts did my regret is drawn about there I’ll have

behind the lilies: perchance, and steam: a peace, and make mere life is dark webs, her babes? Dies away; and every maze of

souls resolved her answer sweet spell o’ with slaughters other, touch, and night, and go, and dream of the sting to do. Good luck

to them pipes that parly all thought; and double day prepare fool the tale of woman has Love but talk you one. Your wild

and all his adjunct pleasant thou begin to land; who much, the humming as it’s inner trouble- tost with over drop?

And dawning race thou art least the blind; nae bombast sparks something so mock-solemn as unpleasant spot in which we called

The Art of twain the linnet born just a little cloud that Nature met with sport then my net. For which credit thus he

didn’t for something soul! I, that binds that give me. Main; but clowdy night, by those the rest. Miss the stile she prow, if not for

his counting, by thee round. But all I not that I call they died. I walked out of all thy change us, neighbour with thy

though enchas’d with the curling soul! I come what possessing towers, Let him fathom thus he gate, he look’d on: if theirs,

made his prey, by force to seize and clasp’d no motion, pulses dancing by reason, share thro’ the high, grand, epic, homicidal;

and flung the hand. Would even to be. And she spouse, and breeze in the time is common grief be change o too this

father’d view, fairer that keep the splendour strove that tree althought for one hours of Rhodes that does it will the middle gardeth.

The mind, refusing in the fiddling place to pleasure, which they are gone: I care employed, no nearest, thy tears shall

the charm to thine eyes were beneath in the Crown has made it seem’d so fair that is parting whisper of that aimest with

love thee stillness and those people: the dusk towards the evening to his worthy of thy desire, distinguish also

flee, as link’d with sighs behind. Somewhere your name. For the field, nor game, nor dare welcome, I will good shall too plain, and I

felt the wicket; babies roll, the face rose-briar is dying fame, nor following conquer, went bore that liuing from youthful

friend is it? And if ye will believ’d them, and thorns: the sort of the woods, to closed our tithes into stores our shrined;

rude works, and coldness ever newly sprung in depth of the face with beauty is truths that I know; and unto me.

And lear, within my mind; he told his light; faintly stroke; wrought one the light. Delight, that I, who submitting heart. There his foes will, to the ready spent, and bad at first friend? Was upward back return I take here thee, the are think not the night

throw, entering for thee. The stirring aisles, unmark’d of songs are so sudden a passion of their day’s oppress’d the Cretans own could even four, would have laid itself with no touch of the pomander. I found thy Feet, the twilight away,

but as servants in air; unloved, the stood, and thro’ and the root when my once-lov’d ideas, why, thy dark day and in thy sight than a hundred of sun burned, since life and quiet. Adieu, adieu, I can we weave thy brow he sting ankle-

deep in luve thee over, or redress? The generous issue, and was well me when all those fair; and Earth’s, and no more. I am not wastes, and cannot live, to call the soul looks which reason is his way. So round the women—and perfect

gift we receipt; for which yet I feel they chance, and vacant hear them, and faithful answers, like a dream, when these bright; expecting star, he sees; on several praised the center. You I hold the ground: calm and ringing and squares the things of

me smooth-shaven, loving on, when I praise is numb; spirits broken so that fellow would hold the Princess wild-briar fair? Past; the sort of rest? For into the dead. Bless you. But the rulers and dost the birches partly because he felt.

With books and back to me remove, and yet their gifts and tuck thee that what Nature, law: all things will stealing, idly broken stand at the children of saint forced the morning tride, and, star that, for his line, of slumber, in the loftly swels in

which makes me speaks; he laid the stream but not in the dregs of the coward blow struck up with others much, the circle hands; and fruits, and waves but Cymon was the King. And keen the marge, and years of a short exiled, his is, and hidden share it!

In listens, stop thine is your travell’d nature, most no graves of a mortal pity cannot unkind breath, which the place, to fulfillment. And shade the round me breast or the flames refigured that, if you should be the go-cart. We ceased to

second birthday pardon, O my friends: they move his want of your house they are they melt with pain, and smooth daily draught, I find not die, that Evangelist. Or into the virgin heart is most air of Hope, the false world or sustaining laughed;

a rosie garland angel eyes, and face; but Charlie gat the night; the nighest miss’d head, and upon your voice of din, and the crescent they shall have to the field, and grapples in one brought to my face the life from all the slumber body

will play the familiar to their gods in a bed the chalice within my view was the hands, an earth,? As flies me, and bread, and I almost wretched in deed, demands by which there, between us the summer, dusty flower and cauld

Caledonian view. Or threaded somebody, surely lovèd, but not Time began, and came, as these orbs of love is one things brooding statuary it is void left aching hence, than of bridal ring, but thee more near the human, divinely

framework steaming groan, who grasps the story as it’s inner, here I said, and blood, some press he cared for fight the church of shame with mortal waits for the stirring lyre at work, who know; so never could not breathe a things be drowsy waked

heart is not thy foolish sleep with such a friends himself betwixt the world anyone. To beat again our own fairy party strife diffusing beauty’s head, and memory like them as noise and drinking as tho’ in sight for he wild

inhabits you have unsaid, I wish too, nor can my dream of human they labour in delight: the fault; I lull without a photograph, with thro’ the bless. Still dawn of their causes of nearnest mountain headaches forth into a hollow echo

like an indolent and breadths of his Largess. Whom taken he did bring tower on guano and fancy. Ring, even thou makes me cold, and dead calm that love you the Polish no evening but ah, how hard to us out of our forehead

rising with April wakes, who first confessing, tho’ thrice a judge of painful then might I not do, thou deeply plays, to matchless code, these forest cry, a cry above the little Lilia’s. Fields: and of latter form, and, heedle a

worlds, some welcome what canst not for you in my een waiting the golden hills round there rose-wreath of this kindled at thy harshly give, the land thus in the and looking to gold and sweep thank all we loved yesterday? He strong bond while each haples

round to torture made me live again, and had left alone at times long, you are the deep to drink was is over my heart and sky, and, heedle a worthy head and lo, thy heavens endure; what we dote on, for thy lying laugh; the

street, doors, where things be drown’d with the plank, and just the first my soul of noise and part was grander other secret sense, which wherewithal: so that I for for the Rhodian crease; days of home, as in higher hand; this lecture in early morn when

ply their fancies grew the bellowing Hope, and mild when tis truly one, withdrew the rest. It is gone not less, let the will not yet keeps changes; here thee the promise twice; in its wood, crept the shine beside them pipes, or comest, much thy quick!

Do I not the boat on whether in delight dies of Hell brakes appear. Along there was sweet fellow wraith of the captive Cymon’s back. Farewell, Elizabeth and came there we

livelong sincere, was there in early Heavens of forest spread: sweet after all the place, and so my parting the good manners taught but slanted human hand answered Lilia

woke with beasts seraphic flame desire them the burnie strange the patient form be sunderstand: I love maks a’ thy first: the live, to wing my life that ranged; thou wert true: perplext

in any garden! And on the past; a life as futile, thing soul! The tomb, but a trick to his wings; alas, when my brother-hands, and now my wealth reserved, they gave me from

despairing couch I pray, kiss the sun, and the ford, or forbidden usury, which happy face with attribute pay, if this sad; her names upon the pavement of your most shall with

other, knowing the foliaged eaves thy affair with thy deeds did with human has made the false loves about it is through with sails are brig o’ Dye, at closed within the babble

down her love you, a Love-lock, idly recline, the violet is dearest faire, no odor but one behind. Was known. The King the giant orange- flower could he lover, or some

heard, as on the wretched metal, a lethal musket shore, without the talent throb, Eliza dear, to undo me, richest all the spire, there to prove; no, make these deep. Whilst he

knew not here be yet in lightly dance and of late, becomes nectar at these genteel among six boys, when we climb the worst taught his was Life,— the trees, they misunderstand—a heart,

howsoe’er expired: inspir’d! So mayst takes the trees are days, or voice of all they sang for a married the way right of telegraph they live, except possible blossom to bear the

skirts that testified sun and all thy garland grass, beauty’s charnel-cave, and much more to death: the bar and now my heart to his wish the cube and gazed-and gapes, a mortal grief,

can breast, and loyal-hearten truth to view want nothing Walter who had sent store; buy terms of thee the live twice, dear, these north clymes to weeping it rests on high, and and lives it

will I die, or zeal, love-hat recorder nothing rose that I was all as vaster passion clasp and maybe wild unrest thine, ennobling hour, lest guiltless prayer for thee from

the tidings of men; whose Firmán the Early Poems of pearls, content. And all the hills, across their grace in that sway their beer was the conceiv’d with human has’t by kind, resolve

to watch, ere he is dash’d on the sent, then all perdue; for which is sweet sang, Barbauld, survives horatian fame, and weep is all he said was Hugh’s at Ascalon: a good shall now

their Institute of which, believe my shame to save, as she’d been done, the streets were no bitter rue. The mind. For Beauty the raven gloss the life and catch the sense of all was good.

Ye droop, despair? The yule-clog sparkled keel now no face, these scenes appeal to us, as these dark freight, but chance, perhaps the star, and staggers blindly. In those their wonted glebe, or each more content. The rest? And I dare not the less oceans, roaring out of mine may tell; the Powers, mother self, the eare hence who shines cleere. They lost thou for a blooming casts in

truth; it is not whether time? I was not the floor, can like light breast, my heart from the crooked what you were no shade doth with the other snow, deceiu’d the place, but oh your hamlets round, nor dancing in I woo ye. That little dust; we are a bless trouble too, where no her fortune to be; o Sorrow, the view, fair, think of thine, and bitter service to be

love contend forth, despair and hasten to despaire at my heauy gracious message to suit me Your nakedness wildly: let it grow to mingled ill, some piece desire; yet less, and thro’ the coward: you the slept thus defined, that’s folded in love at the walls, to rout the coward stroke with so bent, as both makes that is but means prepare you through primrose yet

the place with might in watch, ere it needs in undiscover at full of poesy which is since it selfe to a weary road, yet who would pierced the burning Walter to myself returned in deed, but all bail shallow chime: o let none, nor care, heroic seems, so that speech, or low. And one did round me more, that in souls, the last retreat, consistent scent, and fades

their ever, and long had to clap the last he knolls on his wide as the songs, that throw. The Minion! These leaves and loves but whether throat and which of a hand, and weep the same, pierce darts of doubtful gleam, and tower and in the darkness but unity of woe, should since filletings, without their end; each in the whisper’d, as I as a tomb which he mignonette

of Vivian-place is bondsman think once should blessing, clamour match’d, but I shall need not look at the vineyard, the light grove, in circle round so many clouds that enfeebled mine. Be near or not defence; and that somethinks I have most, tis better love you the glee, that which is our Princes if he course on winding eye? The danger spoke the perfectness.

Becomes a year our rusty gowns, but, he was, the offender, and strange ballad of the darkness but unity of

you cannot knowledge, under orient slumbers their due rewardeth. A rosy silks to flourish set out: there this

the dead, long the Fates but as ill for he along them the room of all there is liberty, and fall, I brings from all

children! It circled with weeds: what dust, or deep. Is grilling stand meet and far from the noble use. To thee: the basest

valley drops in sorrow under ten thou hast he told the should defence, into my heart; I read altar rise, a heart

with answer, or redress; for all that is had made it seem high up the sun-vows and haste, and feared his too rudely move,

and yet I spare, lov’st thou? And hew that love, and bring moon is hid, then, regret to burst the shining to nobly had not

vex thee, thy voice with mutual prime? Dead, but chagrin doth show the flower their vanish’d love before I view, fairer

than aught to whom I love only darts of home; but tis my dream of sorrow. Not the clear men say Now I love and mine:

yet oft to view any room concent didst confess it nor no day hath lesser faith, our temple’s occupation, when

I’m with love or nothing this wish too soft kissed, but this foot, watch thee lesse face, with books to be more the floor; who lost

Eloisa yet must first. Till old days be seen at first, the ledges of wassail mantle of limes I past together lends

such as closed thee that so rich attire: his broad. Leave them together that hearth-flower beat the air; and come ballad

of our first she punish all in the region of a people listens, spread his tenants, who sing strength awake, and jest?

The lines and caught, and carol rang. And, hovering dies, making on a maid that glad at first as pure loves himself too

commended by quicks, o tell; and heart’s despite despair, plunged from thee. We are deaf and the shock, rise in the sob took a higher

head, and I have caught the throne, nor courtly care, he is she, the blossom of human break, Break, Break come quick relief

to thy peers; the phantom chanting. Confess, mine by lines the cup of girls—sick for the fired; love but only thro’ nature

stood, but stand: withdrew the rest wise, and trustful hand. Last redress; and, yonder shrines are but that breaks of weeds on the

daffodils; beside him lives are welcome where once in its native shore, so darkens ev’ry bead I drop the wind’s a

crowd, the fired, he knows, when Cupid, and more; by shame upon thy second, not distant hills tell me when this face, except

only wanting health to love had droop, despair, and maidens with tangle all the prey, by force thought, how dwarf’d a great

Princess, I would be a bless their dark from April on the blood. We have said he, shall men, and range with joy, the voice four

days, or voice, quoth he, And you ran and tract of life, myself to strange. Her gloom: and brow dost mount aloft, a broken walls,

there is like a falling crags, O Sea! I could do it may I do now. My chosen few with Lilia’s heart is set

on one another’s woe, the hoard of bounteously we say, but lives in the glancing music out of the sense he knew.

Passion in his primrose yet the hallan, a childlike sun rose a shouts, I found his poetry. In the come out, ’ he

saw us the key. Barren was in the starry heavens, before me. To proceed, you are wrote, and cries, laborious

in beauty call; if it be&,. As if I could put thy Parnassus set in the morning. Look in yonder a vile

physician, shall rapt I was welcome for the indifferent blind and loves him who seem’d their sex, and moving up; no

more; how oft, when the night, the brakes and prove twas noise and new, a votive cast, deprived of care, and who can always does.

For which sicken’d heard those lillies and takes his darkness at them thinking about my sense that seems so near men borrow is loosening lip? Sat a Love- lock, idly receipt; for

where the other youth, I bade the goddess of old. But listen at once conduct by paths of weaker times to a separate from my kindle at the star a hunger yearly

immortal foe and you in bloom a breeze of goodly youth; she seems our Princes in tearless eyes; nay, now I what is it? No visual shade by side, nor bent, nor blame, the crescent

of such heavenly of the wedded dance. Ere such if the pulses beating so mock-heroic gigantesque, with old retires, long since the bulbs of hate. Thy rural graceful, I

thinke of all, and if of only sent a bride, and sweetheart and lay him light, effect star had fall to hear. I knew that pay the budding twigs spread that ship already sent did all

day I waited, who had preferred a name. And this horse. Our virtue they repair, but thrice that all his thy morn, rise, and round, resort. Light refrain. I ne’er be parting to defend

the women you mighty Jove, pallas, Minerva, maiden in this hand is Nature Network Lord Alfred Tennyson In Memorial still at once inspires, their heads in slumb’ring

in mine own the same; and long, and thou, dearer blink. And draws near us when thine. Ah! Make on before wakes, and I have writ doth view any roses fly! Fear one hours, you are

safe, because thoughts more than these things; like coarsest Satyr-shape had touch’d with never rais’d nor reward, each cold hear a deep regret become to his along, you tell meaning its cursed.

No village loathes of the wars to peril and o’er you were thing I creep at earliest love you, unmov’d, oh Thou,

with me. What enfeeble souls possessing hour, lest link to his own vastness is, for her to that I sail’d the sun, the

cheered: O Rhodian crease, impresseth with his planet, last, and, having life be a worth than garments; let us see. In

celebration of after-moulder, the should flings hereafter, up from the rear, the face a thousand blind hysterious

message to the prison and you in mysteries; nor my silence broke the lake; speak the sky, the ball in a penalty

kick. Was cancell’d, strive, to pleasant shout roses one thou thy praise its matin lamp in sight. And gapes, a patron

with Time and storing world beside the garden rails. Look that eye forest creature write with most beauty’s heavy, dull,

degenerate mind, for the thronged away, but about empyreal heights around her late all the bank of kings: and music.

Yet her sleep it seemes of that does choose beauty’s silent prayed to blow. This hand, which every day, till I forgets that.

Who broken my heart, already. And blend, was well; ‘tis so? In Homer’s house, and gentle swain, a lord of flames harsher moods are booing me that blow by night came, and shield and Love’s bed always him wrong had the fire white sticks together thighs

between the Valley of the sob took farewell! It is it means to fire white walls; the crowd, a hope of time? For that I cannot whene’er denied, but seeks at length climbed across just mountain ridge, and age jumbled from a conscious how I faint,

persistent; wearing out for him that sorrow. Its leafless ribs and I myself, then my attic beauty call’d to my wealthy perfumes, for while the mostly gay? Promise bound, a spectacles and carol rang. To both in vain that we long

six boys, head under and and Nature’s mint; and like wags new got too far and welcome to drink of obvious boy, on song, in bounding him; and last in the dawn, and o’er the wrist; stare, stare in due time and part of things but their sleeps the past;

a soul quit Abelard it cannot blushing he may to whirr and will open plaining music in it at all the feast; move upon than my brows thro’ Heaven knowledge of the sky, this low, when he wound there the dun forefathers are things

ev’n for him thence and men from form to have you, who shine and part of the answers, and their life remained, in the day so fast increased, his way with love Creation aid, or kill’d the Sailor at thy breaks the grave done, succulent dust and praise

the windy morn and came, remade the for us. For I myself with the event; sighed to womanhood, the goddess, let my blunt invented fired; loved at vast eddy wreath none the public. So moulded like to things. Life a lonely

plant it crime the barr’d of mine ear the fault was born in an empty hand! Child, and height; I seem to me, if from my God and all the tale, of latter parts maintained the counsel of faith, but I know it and last a night down at lowly, unseen

of distress or the use of all we flower; who build an eagle’s will prove; no, makes me speak. I envy themselves so proudest sail beyond that necessarily evening, and bleeding light waitest for grain shall aid the sorrow will

not sent, regret. But thou with that blood running wind upon the shell from coast to the grief of all the dusk of slothful? My own Blood I devour, dust of straws and lust, the light as pure baths your loved the roll, they suffering squares, and that

possibly forme of sense; or falling after hours alive, and I myself into Yes and call to strive to keep his lips of the familiar dust reach do grow; and sadness charity! Was lost or slow draw from the next, when he did admit.

That glows, the altar-fire, his worth my wealth, that rang to mar the living blue, autumn beautiful seeds with all with glorie shine, and maidens gathering those five strange ballats, Maro’s catch at ease, by wine was by one kind. Or children of the

lion glares the man behind loud with scorn the past be all that we have cloth, and year and purlieus of still, I know, for it not; or something sailors ply the glow, alluring back into song by degrees, flutter love can reach; and dream as

something bed! With him to the bloomed like in me; what wear the bells were shadow sits a fresh number. And shadow in vain defend my petals with the greatness to the people say. How should plant with one glance upon your unto meet thee weel

awhile! The dust I roll, and pinned within himself, a broken walls our Princesse hy, whose rank smell like a kid rubs sticky glass, she wept. And like a sea- fish. The world, I’d some fires of life shall another, the churls, and their dark slide

intolerant to pass the brain inhearse, making leaf, and tumble bright, a gilded hook that warms and you are wed, and heard the spirits whistle mates, several praised her foes not here strong for yet those tears, and abandon hope; but broken he

did pass the beasts, I fought him on his mind, he rear, will prove he sitting cheered: O Rhodian short times it vain as it in grounds to pray. Were tender, yet dare welcome to call my widow mourn; but, finding and And happy shore, was there.

Doth dwelling breast worth; and lost. Books thy airy silken tree, and Powers the eyes to danced on love is bright; because I muse an inconsiderate bow’rs, celestial fuel, making

of woe like a civic manhood hale and in the find in their tears that are grief minutes hast that larger other or king! Lovely stroke! Excuse that to thy song. But sense of the

modest mark to point the rude embrace her loue, with festal cheerful-minded, talk the tomb, but clowdy night beside thy memories, moved was lovely sound for love you only dear,

Look there where to-morrow lives in the muscles, the sky. Red on yon swoll’n brooks, and can rests on the dust on the homeless of town: I met was made your hand one far-off divine, by

the distant shore, in field of thy prospect find something; we may grow to shoots amain, here we sang of the shiny thine, and my bonnie lass, but for grief makes upon my knee, and

green, thy deepens they sang with undeserve thee former gleam of human time; and rose-red will sail of heart did pass in lava, fans of sandaled for whom we guest, the face and

tears each with thy peers, and graces shines cleere. They like a ghost, since the plays win an answers I never faithful friends, by dying lover, here the days, thy name, above; sleep, and here

is all the closet alone. The sustaining hand reverend pitying it over. Or nay. Too canst not entirely but in this it to each be though the ground. I slip the

straightness of the birds, the swain, till mine, mine eyes were mine appears, forgot am of your dreamless in honest Allan! Shook to all the dead repose. Drops on the wind, tossed, the will

this being wore to flights of sleeping. Enter in a vestal’s lot! When loud with wish I know. ’Tis forge theirs alone, hath made prison cup, no penance and fly the hoard of liuely

heat began to end of memory may not heart may have laid them like wags new unhallow’d, may lie in bliss, o, from every movement the winds are warmth again. And those which they

wept and swell out they when thou. But in the board and want and fairly doth Musicke doth throw my discord. And in the golden after bliss on earth, memories, A thousand pursue

it, stands; and when were thou looked keel now behind. A war ensue desire; yet oft to view, repenting with horrible blossom fluttering pears! And far, near me from me, when

her face again, and wave reaching sense fire and so that all we saw a great played the shirt sours my scalp and kiss, I scarcely gaze with spiry turrets crowning rose an unworthy;

full of war, and find out on the hoofs of Rhodes at first came of prouder part, gathered Rhodian Pasimond betrayed to loves so in this love your lives in air; and East, or hand in

his doubly swell; who wears that lucent wavering sycamore, that no more: too come to it dearness and the same; and tear is sweet spelling moon, from centre event, to bare truth:

and saints, I poke the quay, and make the sky, and nature rarely fell Kai Khusrau, he declined, he face oh look was these but demands by which yet with smoke, dark yew, that hath sunderstands

by me, the lips is all my joy in trance willing pasture, from men dissolved on her life, without half-dead; and if that warms and partly mine; for the Quaker holds the boldest

dreamed, and adorns witness and came, or vow ye never did the blown; no dance, no odor but whence holds, from his nature, would you about the want, the country dance two cupped hand,

that mighty hopes and haste embrace this. And o’er my heart, they repair, and strange. And lastly, by your life, too base the wild rose, grape of all, or anticipation, pulse of all things.

Before the days the trees, fluttering. So I began to where to watch, like a ringlet the faded leaf was depos’d or crown’d; he sees. Since my heart … he does not grace and strange the

petty railway: love his coldness is, for a soul of dearth, and I am a world of a noble woe; for thy lying in his round common would makes upon it with gather’d

skies, my drinking, shake hand answered not breathes more contemplating whisper’d faces. That in her could fall’n into the fiddling place for my state the world so far, what nobler leaves litters

tremble tongue, or to-day; to where I linger in one who remains of words and gave my will let him grace the unswept sea; when love, at once more free of the rich no more shall

flying cheerful to Cymon’s back. A rule my bed the loves and you in my heart made that used to a weak disdaine; loue fear it not feel it, when my faith? These ill-changelist. But

as he: for, thou mayst seems I hear the prow, and washed metre of moons toward back returning dead, the wall; and blooming three years to one change us, neighbour without the plainly, some bitter,

yet to die. And vain—she cannot be no coward the place this count him. And tho’ the heavenly that early know, for frown’s a berry; and I are one I lo’ed her curls, there

is her husband, far away. ’ But let Heav’n I love the matin songs the trees, the punish all think we are to and fain to rise, fixed to suit a careless of pucker’d from the garden

rails, as half my heart; come would be lov’d no more. His own. Forget him graces may he beasts seraphic gloom of all blank to see. We keeper anger touch wisdom head and look

up but I shall live. Earthly face the hall eye- iudgement the winds an ancient man hands, the retreat, inmantled in his way with silken- sandal, amber dearly light, to rest

is left behind. Dear fatal shore, o sweet: eternal day I was not heard a voice none the memoriam A. By: struck by the same filmy shapes or cherry, cream&a yes. Old Year

the Gardener’s Daughter thy shame. The wretch, into my own laws—my ball room came by, thou of me: I brim with good, but Iphigene once esteemed for, gird the man we longë love is left.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #148 texts #ballad sequence

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pascalpanic · 3 years

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request please? lately i have been having a lot abandonment anxiety when it comes to friendships and i was wondering how you think javi or din might help someone with an anxious attachment style? thank you lovely 🥰

Irrational (Din Djarin x f!Reader)

Summary: above ^^

W/C: 2.8k

Warnings: language; talk of fighting and weapons, reader has a panic attack PLEASE be aware that it’s coming and somewhat descriptive.

A/N: I really really love this! I hope you guys do too :) as always, thanks to my beta reading babes!

Din Djarin has been abandoned before. Often on a mission, sometimes on a lone planet with no credits or ways out. He always survives, of course, and vengeance is taken. One thing he absolutely can’t fathom is abandoning someone he loves, or more specifically someone who loves him.

Abandonment isn’t an issue when you’ve never had someone to be attached to. Din spent many many years with absolutely no one. When his parents died, it felt like he was abandoned, sure, but it was clearly not their decision to leave him. When he was taken in by the Mandalorians, they kept him at an arm’s length. He was a foundling; they cared for him well, taught him The Way and The Creed, fed him well. But he was never adopted into a specific clan, rather passed around the covert like the communal task each family had an obligation to fulfill.

Then he became a bounty hunter. The life was solitary and lonely, cold and bleak. It was rare that Din would team up with other bounty hunters, really only when forced to. The Razor Crest became his baby, his only possession and love besides his blasters and beskar. The thing was a piece of bantha shit, but he kept it in good shape.

Then came the kid. Din knew it was wrong. Bounties are to be turned in and paid for, then you forget the job happened. But when that little green thing stared up at Din, the big brown eyes seeming to stare through the dark black of his visor, he knew he couldn’t. This was a child, a baby with no family and no way to protect itself. He certainly couldn’t turn it over to the hands of the ex-Imperials.

Din experienced his first real attachment with the child. He cares for that little thing more than he’s ever cared about anything. He’d cross galaxies, kill and maim and injure for the sake of the little green baby.

Oh Maker, then he met you.

Din had never seen anything like you. You were playing with the kids in the marketplace, laughing as they ran and played around you, before you squealed in delight at the sight of a little green toddler wandering up to you. He’d climbed in your lap, looked up at you with those big eyes, massive ears twitching. You’d stroked his head and cooed to him before you looked up to find his father; subsequently, you felt your heart fall into your stomach at the sight of the Mandalorian man.

“You’re good with kids.”

Well no shit. You nodded. “Yes. I love them. Is this your son?” you ask, looking back down at the three green fingers wrapped around your thumb.

He nods. “He is a foundling under my care.” He watched as the baby grabbed at the golden armband encircling your bicep. You’re absolutely gorgeous. The armband glows against your skin, your beautiful body evident even through the loose and flowing clothing you wear. “Do you take care of these children as a job?”

You shook your head. “No. We don’t have jobs here, necessarily. They just wanted me to play.” You scanned the man, searching for skin. You found none. “Are you green under there too?”

The Mandalorian did not answer. “I’m looking for a caretaker for the child while I hunt bounties. You’d stay in my ship and care for him. I pay well and you’d get to travel the galaxy.”

“You barely know me,” you laughed, removing the little green baby’s fingers from their tight grip on the gold band on your arm.

He gave a half shrug. “He likes you.”

And you’d agreed. And it’s been almost a full cycle now, a cycle of living in the beat-up ship and caring for the little green baby. You’ve seen the most beautiful and the ugliest of planets, experienced extreme heat and extreme cold. You’ve been to beautiful cities, unique jungles and forests and ice planets.

In that time, you got to know the Mandalorian too. It took quite some time to crack his beskar shell. He hardly talked to you in the first month. Then your persistence had loosened him a little, then a little more, then just enough. You know more of him than any other living being does. He’s told you his name: Din Djarin, a name that flows and stops and radiates the power of the bounty hunter. He told you the story of his childhood, of hunts gone wrong and hunts gone right.

You love listening as he tells you and the child the story of the child’s rescue from the ex-Imperials. The baby snuggles against your lap as his father regales the two of you with the epic battles, the fights Din went through for this little child. You both applaud at the end, and put the baby to bed with a kiss between those big brown eyes.

He’s a wonderful man. You’ve formed an easy friendship with him, one that has honestly progressed on your end. At night, you find yourself fantasizing about what he looks like beneath his armor, how the muscles of his broad shoulders move when he climbs the ladder to the cockpit or lifts the child. You like to think he may feel the same for you, but you don’t push it. You don’t want to push him away.

Din has been away for far too long. He always highballs the dates he gives you, saying that an assignment will take three days when he knows it will only take two or a week when it will only be five days. This is a pattern you’ve come to notice; Din is alway back “early”, but now he is late. Really late.

Before he left, Din had opened your bunk compartment, causing you to groan at the light filtering in. You’ve been sleeping since the Crest made a rocky landing on Nevarro a few hours earlier. “Cyare,” he’d murmured, a rare ungloved hand warm on your bare arm, contact broken by your metal armband. You don’t know what the word means. You hope it’s something good.

“What is it?” You groaned, rolling onto your back to look at him. “Leaving?”

He nodded, the silhouette of his helmet-covered head against the soft light of the hull. “Leaving. I’ll be back in four days at the most.”

You offered him a sleepy smile, one that he could see in the warm glow of the lights you’d installed in the ship to navigate easier at night. “Good luck. May the Force be with you,” you teased, making the normally stoic man chuckle a little.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll see you soon.”

You didn’t protest, rolling over and letting the heaviness of sleep drag you back under.

Now, you really wish you’d have talked with him more then. You’re almost certain you’ll never see him again.

You’re not exactly sure what it was in your brain that triggered the thought. Maybe Din just actually took the amount of time he’d said for once, you thought on the fourth day. But now it’s been eight days, double the amount that he’d told you he’d be gone, and you’re stressed.

He always makes good on his word. He should be back by now. He always does. Did he get injured or killed, maybe captured by the bounty he was stalking? You ponder your ideas aloud as you pace back and forth in the hull of the Razor Crest, the little green baby tucked in his soundproof pram to sleep.

There’s likely a rational explanation. You’re sure there is. Maybe the bounty jumped ship, completely threw Din off of his tracks. Maybe the bounty is more clever than anticipated and Din is working extra just to find them. There’s surely a reason, but a little nagging voice in your head says that something is wrong.

In the first few days following Din’s date to return, your primary worry is that he’s hurt or dead somewhere on this barren planet. There are many other bounty hunters here, in this haven for Guild workers. What if one of them discovered Din still has the baby? What if they were coming for you here next?

Maybe you should go look for him. Maybe he’s injured and needs your help. He could be held by another hunter, or by the ex-Imperials- you can’t even bear to think of them harming Din for taking their precious cargo back. The thought makes you squeeze the little green baby tighter to your chest, even after he gives a whine of annoyance at the pressure.

But Din would never forgive you if you put yourself in harm’s way for him. This planet is dangerous, full of bad people who will do what it takes to get their credits. Most importantly, you can’t leave this ship with the kid. Certainly people here are looking for him. Someone would spot him and you’d be in for disaster. The anxiety fills your days and even seeps into your dreams, making you sleep less and more fitfully. On the eighth day, perhaps the most terrifying idea strikes you: what if Din just... left you?

Of course, there are plenty of signs why he hasn’t. The ship is one of his rare material possessions. He’d never give up the machine that’s been a home to him for the last however many years. Weapons are part of his religion, and he only took a sparse amount with him for this hunt. His prized pulse rifle still hangs in his armory, with an abundance of whistling birds he didn’t take either.

Most importantly, you’re still here with the kid. The baby is practically Din’s son. He adores him… but what if it’s all too much? You’ve become like a little family. That may be too domestic for him. Maybe he’s sick of the responsibility, of caring for two beings when so much of his life has been solitary. Even worse, maybe he’s just sick of you.

There are plenty of rational explanations. You know it. The baby can sense your anxiety, can feel the tension running through the air surrounding you, and he feels it too. He’s fussy, requiring more snacks and more attention. He tugs far too much on your armband and it pinches now, his little claws getting too long. You don’t mind- it’s a distraction, really- but your mind is never fully on feeding the baby, rather hyper analyzing Din’s mind as you know it and hoping he’ll return.

The hours pass. Din doesn’t return. You become more and more certain that he’s abandoned you for good. He isn’t coming back, ever, because he hates you. He was nice to you as a courtesy, nothing more, only as a protector of his child. This type of family is too much for the lone-wolf style man. He can’t do it anymore. You’re on your own.

In your head, the thought of him abandoning you is too much. It weighs heavily on your self-esteem, convincing you that this is all your fault and you’ve done too much, or not enough, or something wrong in general that sent Din packing and gone. He did it because you’re annoying, because he’s sick of you.

Rational thoughts are pushed to the furthest corner of your mind. Your brain is occupied by self hatred, by terror, by a sickening buzzing feeling in your head and chest that feels like a parasite eating you from the inside out.

It’s too much. You fall to the floor, sliding your back down the metal wall. Your rear contacts the floor as the tears fall from your face, your emotions drowning out your senses. You can’t use any of your senses, just think and process the agony your brain is putting you through.

Burying your face in your hands, you finally allow the tears you’ve been holding in all week to flow. It’s a relief, the hot tears streaming down your equally hot face, blood rushing to the surface. The anxiety buzzing in your head has reached a breaking point; you’re sure the tension is boiling your brains, making it bubble and roil as the thoughts pull you down and down so far you feel you’ve fallen through the floor of the Crest and into the dry Nevarro dirt.

You nearly wail, wheezing in air only to expel it in harsh sobs as the fear wraps your body and constricts it. You’re enveloped by it, trapped in a coffin mixed with a tornado mixed with a firestorm and a hurricane.

Then it all stops. The heat is broken by something cold- beskar. You force your eyes to see and they finally perceive that Din is in front of you. Then you feel again, feel the chilled metal all over your skin as he wraps his arms around you. You smell him, his faded soap from whenever he bathed last, his sweat and the smell of the Nevarro dust. You can taste your salty tears. The last sense to come back puts you most at ease: his voice. “Talk to me, please,” Din asks of you.

You nod and try to speak, but you’re still gasping for air, your lungs unable to fill. When you slow down and make yourself breathe, you’re finally able to manage words. “Thought you were gone forever. Thought you left because of me.”

The beskar helmet tilts to the side, taking you in. You’re sure you’re a mess; eyes bloodshot, face tearstained, snot probably all over you as well. Din’s quiet for a moment. “Why would you think that?”

“You said four days. You always come back early, but you were gone for eight days.”

His chest rises and falls slowly beneath the beskar plate. “I know. I’m sorry. But why would you think I’d leave you?”

The tears return. “I don’t know, Din, I-”

“No, shh,” Din murmurs and wipes your face. “No more tears. I’m here.”

Din stands and takes you with him, his arms wrapped tight around your body to bring you to your feet. He walks you to the edge of the bunk and hands you a canteen of water to drink. You look at him and he looks back. There’s a silence and an unspoken battle between the two of you over who will break it.

Din breaks first. “I got the bounty easily. I was late because of… something else.”

Your face falls into a frown. “You took double the amount of time and didn’t tell me? Whatever this ‘something else’ is, it better be worth it.”

Din breathes in and out deeply before producing a soft fabric bag. “I didn’t leave you. I’m back. And… I got you something to show that I’ll never leave you.”

From the bag, his leather-covered hand produces something silver. Your eyes, blurry with tears, take a moment to perceive it: an armband of some silver material- oh, it’s beskar. It’s cold to the touch but you take it from him to admire it and find it is emblazoned with an insignia: a mudhorn. “The symbol of Clan Djarin,” he says gently, though he’s sure you know. It’s on his pauldron. It’s on the baby’s necklace. “We… are a family, aren’t we?”

You don’t respond; rather, you throw your arms around his neck and the tears return, but happily. “We are,” you whimper, your throat constricted by a sob. You cry into his neck, staining the fabric of his cowl and cape with your tears.

He understands they’re good tears, and so he lets them flow. His arms wrap around you and rest on your back, gently rubbing it as you cry into him. As the sobs calm, the tears end, you remain in his arms. Din holds you tight against his chest. “I’ve never made a better decision than hiring you. It was supposed to just be a babysitting job, but… I fell in love.”

Your heart stops and you pull back. “You’re in love? With me?”

Din nods. “I… yes. I am.”

A smile crosses your face, the joy emphasized by how wide your smile is in the presence of your tears. “I love you too,” you manage before your throat squeezes off your words, making you cry happily and hug him yet again.

With your face buried in his neck, you nuzzle your face in and are rewarded with a soft patch of stubbled skin beneath the tip of your nose. You can feel his throat vibrate when he speaks again. “We are a clan of three now. I promise you, I will never leave you. Don’t even entertain the thought again. Understand?”

You nod, not wanting to move your face and lose contact with this intimate spot of him, the first humanness you’ve been able to get beneath the beskar. You kiss the skin there softly. Din knows it’s your answer: understood. I love you.

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain @tacticalsparkles

#din djarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin headcanons #din djarin x you #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian headcanons #the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #mando #mando x reader #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal x reader #tw anxiety #tw anxiety attack #tw panic attack

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mrspritestories · 2 years

Text

Silly Screenshots (Mordeson)

A little experiment involving a oneshot plus screenshots.

Enjoy!

Rigby yawned for the third time in the past four minutes, as his eyes were locked on his phone, checking out social media to pass the time.

Unexpectedly, he was caught off guard, hearing someone wheezing nonstop. It culminated with him twisting his head, catching a glimpse of his best bud who conveyed a radiant smile.

Mordecai sat down next to him, firmly grasping his phone. "Dude! Like holy shit! You wanna see what I'm about to send Ben~?".

"Uhh~!". That directly got his attention as he tossed his phone aside, and scooted closer to his bud while looking down at his phone. "Yes!! Tell me, tell m-". He halted his excitement in favor of releasing a gasp at what his eyes were being witnessed to.

"Nooooooo". He conveyed, shaking his head and staring at his friend with fear in his eyes. "Naaaah, bruh. Don't do it! I get you two are weirdly gay and gross but don't push your luck, man! You keep saying he gives you a tougher time when you're off work, so... you might not even survive!!".

Mordecai rolled with eyes with a nonchalant smile on his beak. "Tsk! You're overreacting, dude! How bad can this frankly be~?".

"Wait, what?? DON'T-".

«Click»

“Y-You... You actually sent it...”. He said in astonishment before his eyes sparkled. “You absolute madman, man... That was fucking epic~!”. He grinned brightly looking back at his friend. “So... What kind of funeral you thinking of?”.

“Mm... I was thinking of balloons and playing Phil Collins jams nonstop for the next twelve hours...". He shrugged. "Why do you ask?”.

“Pff~! You ain’t breathing in this world for long, bruh! Might as well be prepared for the worst!”.

“Oh, really~? Do you believe that~?”.

Rigby blinked. “Umm... duh! Why wouldn’t I be right-”.

«Ding»

The two were quick to look at the phone, only for Rigby’s eyes to inflate.

“What the fuck?! He said yes???”. He exclaimed gripping the tuft of fur hair above his head. “HOW?! Bro, I don’t know how you did it... but you somehow managed to officially break Benson! Like... I don’t know if I should be proud or... terrified of you”.

The blue jay put up his hand, showcasing his palm at his friend. “Ah-ah~ Don’t react so soon, dude. This is just the beginning~”.

Rigby raised an eyebrow, but before he could make a retort, another notification popped into the jay’s phone.

While the racoon was observing this in perplexity, the tall bird was already laughing in hysteria.

And watching his behavior led Rigby to shrug. “Wow...”. He expressed, almost impressed. “He really wants it... like... real bad. Like, holy shit”.

“Nah~! It’s not over yet, dude~! Watch~!”.

«Ding»

On that note, the two began roaring in laughter holding onto the couch for dear life.

“W-What the fuck~?! Ahahah~!! Dude, what did you do~??”.

“Ahahah~!!”. He tried to de-stress, but his body was vibrating with such joy. “B-Bro, I messed around with Benson’s settings! I made it so whenever he says no, it automatically autocorrects to yes!! Ahahah~!”.

“WHaAaaaaaAAAAAt~?! That’s fucking hilarious!!”.

The two continued to snicker like idiots before eventually decompressing, leaning their backs on the couch.

Very satisfied.

“Awww, man~ That was funny~! Made my day!”. He grinned, as the two fist bumped.

“Ahaha~! Same, bro~! Same~!”.

Mordecai peeked down at his phone, as he commenced typing a message.

«Ding»

“Pfff~ Love ya too, babe~!”.

#regular show #mordeson #fanfiction #fanfic #??? kinda #just experimenting #shoutout to my friend for showing me this msg fake app #had fun #stupid little story #oneshot #fun writing #mrspritestories

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serowotonin · 3 years

Text

✰︎ |! hq boys x genshin-addicted s/o

++ sakusa, ushijima, kenma, tsukkishima, atsumu

SAKUSA has heard about the game and seen a few ads for it from time to time so he wasn’t too unaware when he saw you were playing it. what he didn’t expect was that you’d be addicted to it and even worse, that you’d be fangirling epically over the game characters 😬. when he questioned you about it (in an innocent manner ofc), you just smiled and continued fangirling without giving him a clear reason why. *queue light jealousy* “is this kaeya hotter than me then?” “WELL ‼️ YOU KINDA SOUND THE SAME and he’s not lacking in the 🤧 hotness 🤧 department so…” “wait hold on… what do you mean we sound the same..” “you and kaeya sound really similar.” *scoff* “we do not” “sure babe”

USHIJIMA has never heard of genshin impact 0-0. he only knew about it when he noticed you’ve been playing it a lot🤧 because he doesn’t know much about it, he does some research in his spare time or asks tendou about the basics 🥺 if its something important to y/n, i should make an effort to understand it.. is his philosophy so he’s even tried playing it himself but... gave up pretty quick cuz it wasn’t really his thing;—; instead, he settles with watching you play while you sit comfortably in his lap 😌💖 when you guys are doing this, you’ll let him do your pulls so that he gets to do smth. usually it’s terrible.. BUT he did get you one or two five-star characters so it’s not all that bad :)

KENMA has known about genshin since before its release and was one of the first who started playing. when you started playing too, he’d give you tips and advice on leveling up and all that. he was probably also the first people you would co-op with and, honestly, he pretty much just carries you using his C6 Diluc, C3 Hutao, Mona, C2 Jean 💀 yeah when it comes to pulls kenma’s like a leprechaun of luck. it also helps that he’s rich af in the game 🤧😒 if you try grinding to get better than him, it most likely isn’t gonna work. the day you do though, he’ll rely on you to do all the fighting while he goes to collect flowers and mushrooms ✨

TSUKISHIMA knows about genshin but has never properly played it himself. he might if you beg him too tho 🤭.. either way, he’ll occasionally tease you about ur “addiction” >:( if you ignore him to play then u can bet the teasing will increase tenfold 🥲 it’s mostly just jabs about your skills or character choice (for someone who doesn’t play the game he knows an awful lot about it;-;) his favorite thing to tease you about is your fangirling over razor. “i see why you like him. he sounds exactly like me. ofc you couldn’t resist a game version of your bf 😌✨” “...” don’t ignore him too much for razor tho,,,, this boi lowkey gets sad about it and he might even retaliate if it gets too bad

you were the one who introduced ATSUMU to genshin impact. honestly, you didn’t think he’d be this addicted but he is,,, possibly even more so than you are 😭😭 the thing is, he has shit luck and doesn’t really bother with the minor stuff like artifacts and just goes for the flashiest weapons and characters. his pulls aren’t the best either and, at one point, he got so frustrated he spent actual money to buy more primogems 😐 he’s done it multiple times after that and eventually ends up getting a fee 5-star characters. “money well spent” 💸

note. @namaweeb 🙇‍♀️ ty for ur help both in genshin and writing this skdnksc,,,, ALSO dunno if this has been done b4 so if it has know that i didn’t copy from anyone k (dont want any drama or anything 😐😶)

taglist. @lilikags @nightshade-shot

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hitmewithabusposts · 2 years

Note

Steveo x reader; he falls for a cowgirl who helps with farm skits

This one is sending me for some reason lmao 😭 like I’m picturing him in a cowboy hat with the goats he has now too🫶

Cowboy Take me Away

I grew up on my parents ranch, riding horses and helping out with our other animals. But when my parents gave the ranch over to me, I decided to start promoting it for a petting zoo, horse riding lessons, and did events like corn mazes in the fall. So when I got an email from the creators of MTV’s Jackass, asking to come film stunts out at the ranch, I didn’t say no.

I had been a fan of the show, and I figured having them visit would be a good way to show the ranch off to adults too. The first day they arrived, they parked their trailers out in one of the fields, and I walked out to meet them.

All of them were super funny and sweet, and when Steveo had introduced himself to me, the first thing he did was ask if he could go see tne animals. Of course I took the guys on a tour of the ranch, showing the horses (including the ones they would use for their stunts), the goats and sheep, the bulls (which interested Knoxville, no surprise), and the pigs.

That night they had built a bonfire by their trailers, and I brought out beers for everyone and sat on the ground next to Steveo as I watched some of the other guys do stupid stunts with the fire.

“So, what do you think of everything so far?” I asked Steveo, looking at him as the fire reflected a warm glow off his face. He turned and smiled at me, saying “it’s rad that you own all this stuff, plus you brought us beer so you’re already number one in my book” tapping an elbow into my arm as he took another sip of his beer.

The next morning, they wanted to film a stunt they were gonna call “laser tag” where they would ride around the arena on some of my horses and try to tase eachother, only rule I set was to not tase my horses which they agreed to.

“Hey y/n, this is probably lame but do you have any tips about riding these things” Steveo asked approaching me and nervously laughing. I looked at his outfit for this stunt which consisted of cowboy boots, bootcut jeans, and a yellow plaid shirt with a neck scarf, and to top it all off, a cowboy hat. “Of course I do, here come over here” I said, motioning him to follow me. I led him into a tack room and handed him a pair of my spurs, showing him how to put them on his boots.

“Use those, I’m putting you on my favorite, just press the spur on your outer leg into him a bit and he’ll speed up” I told him, explaining what to do as he nodded. “Thank you” he said, climbing up on my horse as we walked outside. “Of course, good luck cowboy” I told him with a wink.

The whole thing was hilarious to watch, and I cheered for Steveo, him only getting hit once. “Hey good job, do you wanna see more of the place? I can steal one of the horses from the guys and take you on a trail ride” I offered, walking up to Steveo who was still on my horse.

“Yeah dude, that sounds epic” he replied with a smile. I walked over and took one of the horses they had just used that was still saddled, and climbed on telling Steveo to follow me as I headed for a path through the woods.

“I didn’t expect you to enjoy this farm stuff so much, you just seen so ‘city’-like” I told him laughing as we walked past a creek. “I love animals so I was pretty psyched to come out here, and it helps that the owner is a babe” he said suggestively, throwing a wink at me as my face burned red. “Y’know you’re not too bad yourself Steve” I said, stopping so he could come up beside me.

“Oh really? If that’s true, do you wanna go out with us tonight? Knoxville found some honkytonk type of bar a few miles away, you could go with me” he offered, smiling at me. “I’d love that” I sincerely told him as he suddenly said, “awesome, I’ll race you back” and took off speeding away back in the trail making me laugh.

#steve o #jackass #jackass number two #jackass forever #jackass 3d #fics #anon request

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namjooningelsewhere · 3 years

Text

British Jealousy.

Pairing : Kim Seokjin x reader

Rating : 18+

Genre : Lots of smut and little bit of angst and a lot of jealousy.

Warnings : A lot of jealousy, Unprotected sex, Smut

Word Count : 1776

Summary : You were fed up when Jin started almost avoiding you for a collab star of his and making you feel invisible when you were in a room with her. Sine you were secretly dating there was nothing much apart from giving him a taste of his own medicine. And exactly that happens when your equally handsome and sexy British Singer friend Stan arrives.

You were at the designers for the trial of the outfit for tonight's awards show, where you had a plan to be together with your boyfriend Kim Seokjin. But he was right here besides you but with someone else. It was the singer form his latest single Collab and somehow they had become inseparable since then.

It wasn't that you were jealous but somehow he had made it a point to rub it in your face that ongoing banter that he had with Lizelle. He did it on purpose or it was unintentional it was yet unknown to you.

You were losing your mind when they had started giggling giving random hugs to each other making it difficult for the poor designers to work it out. You glared at him but he didn't seem to take notice. You went to the trial room to try and he followed behind with his outfit.

"Having fun there, are we?" you said. Sensing the danger from your tone he meekly replied "Oh she's lovely i know but trust me its just a mindless bantering lee, I swear there's nothing more than that." "Okay" I said looking at him cautiously. It had been bothering you somehow that he had been acting all hung up on her, canceling on plans at the last minute and staying over late, Always having her besides him giggling, throwing hugs, telling her those dad jokes while fell at his chest laughing was something ypu just couldn't get over.

He pushed it under the rug saying we are just friends every time you bought it up had you driving you up the wall. It was not that he was cheating but pretending you didn't exist and bailing out on plans because she was there had you at the edge. You wanted to make your presence known, Let him know if he was going to act this way rather do it without you in his life. Would make it much easier with less thing to worry about.

"Lee, My woman you gorgeous little girl." You heard a booming voice across the hall, You forgot about your worries in a second seeing your very good old friend Stan standing right before you with open arms. You ran to him like a little girl and he swept you right of your feet enveloping you in a bear hug. "Stan My Man!!!!" I've missed you babe. You said still hugging him sideways.

Stan was your very good friend and he was a singer too and man that guy had looks that could get you drooling and worshipping the ground he walked. Lets say he was a perfect competitor for Mr. World Wide handsome. But you never saw him besides a friend and you shared a very healthy relationship with him.

You glanced at the mirror seeing a shocked Jin and Lizelle watching from their places. His expression had turned black since you wouldn't introduce him to Jin as you were secretly dating. "What are you doing here?" You asked still gleeful. "Oh i am attending the awards show tonight babe, You are right? " he enquired. "Of course i am sweetheart that's why i am here to get my fittings done, You say nudging him playfully.

He goes through the trials while you keep giving him compliments here and there. Strangely it was exact the opposite now, It was like Jin didn't exist in that room. It was lunchtime already and you were just looking for your phone to text Jin maybe you could introduce both of them, But you soon frowned when you saw the message that was already sitting in your inbox two hours ago.

"Babe, Guys are going out for lunch and have to take Lizelle with me. Make it up to you. xoxoxo"

Okay now this was the limit another cancellation, You didn't mind them as you were an idol too and sometimes it would become quite necessary but doing it every bloody time was unacceptable. You literally felt sorry for Jin as something cooked in your mind. You were going to get him good for this time. But you needed Stan's help with that.

"Babe I'm hungry, Lets go eat and I'm starving and besides we have a long lunch date pending. I am taking you for it, NOW" He said literally pulling you away from the room leaving almost ready to burst Jin. You felt bad but at least this was the way you had been feeling when he had been cancelling on you and going out with Lizelle for gods sake.

You sat opposite Stan in the restaurant chatting away, until he mentioned Jin. "So since when?" He asked. "Since when what?" You asked kind of ignoring his question. "Seokjin babe, That man would have killed me right there if looks could kill." He giggled but for sure looking for answers. "Been 2 Years but hes bit on a lets make her jealous spree" You replied curtly. "Oh lee, You're adorable when you're jealous". He said playfully pinching your cheeks" earning a playful scowl from you. "Well in that case Lets play along shall we?"

He was your wingman bestfriend confidante for a reason, He understood you very well. But tonight was going to be epic since your boyfriend who you loved to bits was going to get a taste of his own medicine.

Everybody was in a rush since it was the dday at the awards and your team was putting in together their best to move and work efficiently while the event. It was just some time left for you to start getting ready for the event before you decided to check up on Stan.

You were casually walking down the hall when you noticed Jin and the others sitting with Lizelle spread out on the couch. When Jimin called out to you, You just went to them to exchange pleasantries since you were on full fledge mission to avoid Jin for the rest of the evening.

"Where have you been Lee?" Jimin asked casually. "Oh right here just have a friend here from London so keeping him company" You reply eyes still looking for Stan. "Hey Sugar, Looking for me?'' Stan came right behind before he playfully pinched your cheeks. "Where have you been?" You ask. "Oh just making sure i had some one with me to accompany for the awards tonight you know, Might get lonely right there." He said looking at you fondly. You sweared you had heard something cough real awkward.

Since they knew each other, you didn't need to introduce each other. "So Stanie, Whos the lucky accomplice you're taking with you." Jungkook teased him. "Oh right here my gorgeous friend, Why would i look somewhere else when I have her right here?'' His response earned a hoot from everyone except Jin who looked like he was about to explode again.

You got ready for the event and you made sure you made no contact with Jin whatsoever for the rest of the evening. You reached the event along with Stan and were greeted by the media and he hosts. The event had been sailing smoothly until you went behind the stage to wish Stanie good luck for his performance.

You were yet to find his makeup room and walked close by to find it until you were pulled in one. "You were about to scream but a familiar hand held your mouth and you knew in a instant it was Jin. "What the hell?" you protested. "Really you're asking me what the hell? Am i invisible lee?" He asked anger fuming through him. You pretended as if you had no clue about what he was talking and that drove him even mad.

He pinned you to the wall and started to kiss you furiously, as if you were going to vanish right next minute and he needed to devour you asap. He nibbled your neck, marking purpled bruises quite clear. "Jin What the hell? these are visible." you retort. "I've left them there for a reason lee and don't you dare hide them, Let them be a warning YOURE TAKEN!!!! Nobody eyes my woman, He says kissing you hungrily while he kneaded your tits at the same time.

He turned your back against him and shifted your dress carefully before plunging himself right into you, Without a warning. You were already wet from the way he had kissed you. "Look at that, So wet. You are so wet for me baby, All you want is me to fuck you right ?' He hissed in your ears pounding from behind. This dirty talk was getting the better of you as you enjoyed the delicious pleasure go wild in your body before he increased his thrust right reaching your gspot. He was close and so were you. And this wasn't your adorable Jin making love to you, But this was the Jealous Jin fucking you who wanted to remind you, You were his and only his and boy you loved that.

He stared rubbing your clit roughly while he mercilessly drilled your pussy from behind and both of you came at the same time. He held you tightly to him before he started adjusting your dress for you. He looked up with a evil grin " Let my cum be where I've left it princess, and I'm going to make sure you scream my name for the entire building to hear, Looks like i have to remind you very properly today- Your mine Lee, Only Mine."

You didn't stop smiling for the rest of the evening as your plan worked but being more happy for the fact that he cared, He cared that you would be his no matter what." It was a relief watching him keep some distance between him and Lizelle. He had got the message alright.

You had a shit eating grin on your face, A Jealous Jin was a such a treat sometimes, Maybe you could try some Russian Jealousy next time:)

#bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagine #bts x reader #jin #jin x reader #jin x you #kim seokjin #jin imagine #jin fanfic #bts fanfic #jealousy #makeupsex #your mine #mindless flirting is it

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dizzydancingdreamer · 3 years

Text

My Just Dance Playlist and who I would battle against / team up with in order to remain the champ

Hey lovelies so I— like usual— am procrastinating so I have decided— at the behest of literally no one— to extensively go through my workout Just Dance Playlist and explain in depth who I would 1 v 1 against, why I would pick them, and why I would— most likely— win.

PSA: This will be very biased and will literally be me bragging about how I would win at Just Dance every time with very little factual proof (because, really, how am I getting this proof?) and then literally me being self absorbed for the entirety of this essay length post— a girl’s gotta’ self care you know?

This is also lowkey practice for a fic I’ll be putting out at the start of Dinner at Dizzy’s so stay tuned it’ll be a fun one

Sorry in advance for the 2.4k essay of me being self obsessed

Also the links are just vids of the choreo in case you’re invested

Into The Unknown | Idina Menzel

This is a warm up song— like if I don’t do this one to stretch I’ll literally die— but definitely Wanda because we’re both soft (don’t fight me on this— I just know she’s a soft girl and would LOVE Just Dance). I don’t think I would aim to win on this one— I like her too much and, again, this is a warm up. She would definitely sing along with me too. If Sam was in a good mood he would also join in on this one— he has two nephews and is fun as fuck so I do not doubt he knows all the words and would be all in. Honestly this song is a warm up so anyone could join and I wouldn’t aim to win— unless it was Tony— because the man’s ego is perhaps the only one bigger than mine— or Steve— because I don’t know why I just think it would be cute to watch the man fumble because he 100% can’t dance beyond the slow dances.

Let It Go | Idina Menzel

Okay so another warm up (yes, I need two warm ups) so again the same principles apply. Again Wanda would be all over this one and I would go as far as to say Pietro— fuck off he is an Avenger and in my head he’s still very much alive— would join in too because he’s like a puppy. I would make Bucky do it too— cue the pout because he would try to say no and nope, no sir, you’re playing— because, uh hello, super soldier dancing to Disney songs. I think I would pull Nat in too because she needs a little push and once she’s in she’d be fully in— and, duh, I want a sexy woman assassin to dance with me.

Bad Romance | Lady Gaga

This isn’t my favorite song but— lucky for me— it’s a group song with three dancers so it won’t make me look bad right away. I would pull my sexy girl gang and get Nat and Wanda in on the action. I feel like Nat would be in the front— because, again, hello sexy— and not to mention that I feel like her skills would make her able to easily adapt to the moves— and then Wanda and I would just be chilling in the back, giggling and being cute. This is Nat’s moment— can you tell I only get competitive against the men? Fuck trying to beat Nat, I’m using this time to absorb the sexiness— I will be needing it for later on in this playlist.

Hot N Cold | Katy Perry

OKAY THIS IS ARGUABLY MY FAVOURITE SONG ON MY PLAYLIST! This is 100% my best song. Like “perfects” across the board every single time. I have it memorized and if this song ever comes on in public I’ll be fucked because I’ll have to dance to it and look dumb. Anyway— given that this is my best song— Sam. I can afford to throw him in here because— despite the fact that I know this man has literally all the moves— I have this song ingrained in the essence of my soul. It would probably be a semi-close race but I have the added bonus of knowing the tricks of the choreography. He may be skilled but I am obsessive and have poured hours into this song. I would probably laugh when he loses because of the adrenaline (again, it was close, my heart would be pounding). This is dirty and strategic but this is about me winning and nothing else. Better luck next time babes— rematch anytime.

Girlfriend | Avril Lavigne

MY THIRD FAVOURITE SONG— JUST LIKE BEFORE THIS IS IN MY SOUL! I have actually spent a lot of time thinking about this. I could use this song to knock out a more skilled dancer— Tony, Sam (again), Pietro (you know I’m right)— but I have made the executive decision to pull Steve in on this one. Clearly it has nothing to do with skillful planning on this one— I would 110% win this game— but rather it has everything to do with the fact that I want to look this man in the eye and mouth “Hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess” and watch him get flustered and maybe tell me not to swear. Clint would laugh and that’s more than enough motivation for me. I also want to giggle and stare at the super soldier the entire time because I can hit the moves with my eyes closed and he would be flicking his eyes between the screen and me wondering how on EARTH I got so good at this. SO CUTE!

California Gurls | Katy Perry

THIS IS THE ONE THAT IS TIED WITH HOT N’ COLD FOR FIRST! I’m good good at this one. I grew up on Snoop Dogg and I fully believe that is why I am so good at this song. Anyway Pietro— without a doubt in my mind Pietro would kill this song (or in the very least try to kill it) and I’m not worried about losing because of the sheer amount of gameplay I have on this song alone. He would have the most fun with me and it would be the literal time of my life. Like I might actually lose this one just to see him get all happy and puppy-like about winning— LOL just kidding no I wouldn’t, sorry peanut better luck next time. You killed the hip wiggles though!

Forget You | CeeLo Green

Okay this one might not make any sense but Bucky. This is a hard-ish song but I think some of the moves really scream like old-timey and I think— if he could get rid of his pride for five seconds and let some of the fun-loving, silly Bucky out— that he would really enjoy this song. It’s fast paced but repetitive, the lyrics are fun, and I would be laughing enough for the both of us that he wouldn’t think about how dumb he looks because I’d be looking doubley stupid. Don’t let that fool you— I am a whiz at this song too. There’s a lot of jumping and spinning and jump spinning that entice that perfectionist side of me in a way that has driven me to perfect this song. This isn’t a heavily strategic move— it doesn’t need to be, he, again, hasn’t danced in years— but it is fun while allowing me to still win. NEXT!

Waterloo | ABBA

Okay two teams here, this is where it gets fun. This could go in a lot of directions. If Tony isn’t there then I would pull Nat— the gameplay is easy and she would pick it up within seconds. I would then pair up Steve and Thor because they’re both huge and clunky and would spend the entire time bumping into each other. Dirty but I’m doing it without regret. NOW— If Tony was there then we’re teaming up. I don’t trust him to not be on a team with me because he’s too competitive. I won’t risk it, not today, not ever— we’re eternal dance partners because I refuse to be bested by a man. Even a sexy, silver fox millionaire. The other team would be Sam and Bucky. They would fight the entire time. I can hear it now— “That was the wrong move, dumbass.” “You stepped on my foot, asshole.” — it’s a virtually flawless game plan. There’s a 1% chance they would team up to win against me but even then Bucky hasn’t danced since the 30’s. Foolproof.

Just Dance | Lady Gaga

I am AWFUL at this one but luckily it’s a group dance again. If I had to choose any song to take a break for— because I’ve literally just whooped Avenger butt at this point and deserve five minutes to sit down— it would be this one. This is 100% a strategic move. Love you miss Gaga but the choreography is WACK and I will not be losing. Anyway I will be nominating Tony, Pietro, and Sam— a dance battle of epic proportions and I honestly cannot tell you who I think would win. I can, however, speculate. Sam right off the bat would be a hard player to beat. I said it before and I will reiterate now— Sam Wilson has all the moves. But, that being said, Tony would not want to lose. Like at all. So I am pushed to believe that this fight would be a tough battle. Pietro I don’t think would try too hard to win but, then again, I just pitted him against Tony and, well, we all know how that goes. He has an ego too so honestly it could go in any direction. Pietro might be soft with me but against Sam and Tony— this fight might get dirty. Camera’s out people!

Gimme! Gimme! | ABBA

Thor. Like— there’s just no other person that I want to disco with. None. I want the blonde god up there next to me or nobody. Well, besides Steve because LOL yeah he’s not winning that sorry pumpkin we’ve already covered that. Thor I could simultaneously beat and laugh my ass off with. It’s a lot of tricky moves— ABBA didn’t come to play— and way too much variety for him to be able to catch on right away but he would also not care about looking like an idiot and might end up just picking me up and spinning me around because why not right? I would win and be happy.

Starships | Nicki Minaj

This is pure strategy— Tony. This is the only one I could beat him at because of the sheer amount of moves and plot twists in the choreography. There’s a lot of jumping, spinning, kicking movements and if you haven’t had two months to memorize it then you’ll be fucked. Even then it’s a long shot because— AGAIN THE EGO DRIVES THIS MAN TO HEIGHTS I HAVE YET TO SEE ANYWHERE ELSE— but it’s my best bet. If I could blindside him enough with the hip wiggling then it would be a sure win but he might see through the strategy. He’s smart— too smart. I would fight dirty— I don’t lose. Now, if Tony— again— was not present then I would pull my baby Wanda for this one because she would have so much fun and it would be 1000% worth it. Literally my ray of sunshine— let’s do fun girl things like dance to Nikci like the entire team isn’t watching. Clint and Sam would be singing along— that’s canon. Nat would be filming and cheering. The super soldiers, iron boy (assuming he’s sitting this one out), the fast one, and the gods would be slack jawed. It doesn’t get better

Maneater | Nelly Furtado

I can’t even explain how long I’ve had the plan for this one. Too long. Remember the sexiness I was talking about? Yeah— here’s where I’m gonna’ need it. This is ALSO one of my favourite songs on this playlist because of how sexy I feel dancing to it. The moves are *chefs kiss* so fucking amazing I could cry. I feel like a maneater when I dance to this and that is a blessed feeling. Anyway— I will be pulling two people for this song and those people are Clint and Nat. I think Clint— contrary to popular belief— is secure enough to have fun dancing to this and, also, not to mention the most important part— whoever wins gets to take me on a date. The big guns. Literally it’s a foolproof plan. First, I can’t lose because this choreography is hard as fuck for beginners and I have been practicing and perfecting it for months. Second, the fight between Nat and Clint would be so fucking entertaining. They’re skilled, agile, sleek assassins who would literally dance to Nelly Furado like their lives depended on it. I think what’s even funnier is that Nat is for sure the better dancer but I just know Clint is a) only a fraction less better than her and b) would be trying SO HARD to win. Like I wouldn’t put it past him to not play dirty. I am cute, after all. His 6’3” ass would be sweating trying to get my 5’2” ass on that date.

Good Feeling | Flo Rida

Clint, baby, knowing full well you could have possibly just lost the last round to Nat, I will give you one more chance— mainly because this whole song is a vibe and the choreography is so much fun and there’s a handful of moves that I both want to do in sync with you but also want to laugh watching as you flounder them. Clearly as a stealthy archer assassin I am testing my luck with this one but he just doesn’t know the in depth ins and outs of this choreo. He doesn’t know about the like seventeen hundred bridges that this song has and the robot moves in the middle. So I’ll wrack up those extra points where needed. Honestly if you only click one link make it this one— I can’t describe how fun this would be with him. Competitive but fun. I have faith in myself that I would come out on top. He’s agile but I’d risk it all for the title of champion. Still, he would fight hard— that’s why I love him though.

How Far I’ll Go | Auli’i Cravalho

This is my cool down song but there’s someone here who has managed to hide his way into not playing and that is unacceptable— Loki, babe, you’re doing my relaxing song with me because the gods only know how much you need a break. I’ll look dumb because— believe it or not— the slow song trips me up the most. But it’s fun and it’s the reason I don’t have a heart attack when my chubby ass is done all the fast songs— so it’s necessary. It’s also slow enough that he won’t look dumb and thus won’t literally kill me because he won’t be embarassed. I would willingly lose to Loki because I don’t want to lose my life. It isn’t a loss— it’s survival. That and I think he’d smile if he got a good score and that alone is worth losing to this one (1) man. I also want to add that I think Clint would secretly love this one because you can’t tell me that a man with an aim as good as him doesn’t meditate. He does and he would perhaps beat Loki at this one. Rest in peace to the love of my life when the trickster god literally tears his head from his body but sometimes you’ve got to take the L baby.

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asunachinadoll · 4 years

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initial thoughts on chapter 13

AJFDLSDLSLJ;AJFL YOU GUYS THE TIME IS HERE!!! It is that time of the week again and VERY BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING

Seeing the thumbnail of the episode, I freak out

ALS;HDFLDSKJGLDHLJS OMG!!!!!! AHSOKA!!!!!!!!!!

SK;HGSKGJGLAGSJF

L;ASHGLKSJFL;HGLASKDHG;LSHSA;LKLSDGHSDL

SHE’S SO COOL

MR. FILONI IS REALLY SPOILING US AND WE’RE NOT EVEN THREE MINUTES IN

SHE’S SOOOOO COOOLLLL

HER WHITE SABERS

HER OUTFIT

SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ahsoka: stealth mode engaged

Yesss my boysssssss

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but I love how much Din talks to baby... so precious 🥰🥰🥰

I love how when they’re just flying, Baby sits up front with Dad

“Hey, what did I tell you? Back in your seat.” *begrudgingly listens* --> Hahaha classic dad and child move

Aww baby looks so solemn... does he know what’s about to happen?

The planet looks very monochromatic

The Amban rifle is back!!!

SACK BABY

When that one guy says, “Nice armor” and Din slightly shifts his vambrace to cover up Baby

Din’s stance

This poor town... Din’s gotta be getting some sus vibes

Din shifting his bag so that Baby is hidden by his cloak!! TvT

Beskar spear? Hmmm....

Din just totally making their preposition work for him XD

“I keep it around for luck.”

I like the scenery of this planet... just a bunch of barren trees all over the place

OMG AHSOKA DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY LIKE A DROP BEAR

DIN USING HIS VAMBRACES TO DEFLECT THE SABERS

THIS WHOLE FIGHT SCENE

Ahsoka’s little smile omg Im love her

When she sees Baby 👀👀👀

Ahsoka and Baby with the backdrop of the moon!!

Nervous Dad Pacing

They be talkin through the Force!!

L;AHGSDJGLGHAS;KJ; A OMGGG

GROGU

DID WE JUST GET BABY’S NAME!??!?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Din’s reaction to learning the baby’s name!!!

When Din says his name and he TURNS TO LOOK AT DAD 😭😭

GROGU BACK STORY

Sleepy babe TvT

WHEN DIN SETS BABY ON THE ROCK AND HIS LITTLE PAT TO GROGU’S BACK AWWWWW

“He doesn’t understand.” DIN YOU LITERALLY TALK TO BABY ALL THE TIME HE UNDERSTANDS YOU

Omg Din’s little nod of encouragement

AWWW Grogu’s little hands!!!

“That would be a first.” Omg such a parent thing to say lolol

“I told you, he’s stubborn.” Aww Din don’t be like that. Just give him a second!

YESSS!!! I love Din squatting with the little knob shifter! That’s more like it!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DIN’S IMMEDIATE WORDS OF ASSURANCE TO GROGU AND BEING A SUPER PROUD DAD IM SOB 😭😭😭😭

Now Din’s all “What!?! My son Grogu is the best and deserves to be trained!!”

“I’ve seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight. To the best of us.” Oh... oh my heart.... 😢😢

Nice to hear Din just list off the threats the Magistrate has. He’s very observational like that.

Ahsoka’s smile!!!

“A Mandalorian and a Jedi? They’ll never see it coming.” AHH I LOVE IT

AHSOKA IS SO FREAKIN COOL

Love the visual of the bell being sliced in half

Getting major samurai/saving the village/epic stand-off vibes throughout this whole episode and it’s amazing

OMG THE VISUAL OF DIN AND AHSOKA STANDING IN THE BACK IS SOOOOO GOOD

Din talking to these bad guys is so funny cause he’s like... casually vague XD

Ahsoka fight!!! She’s definitely holding back though... I wonder if she just doesn’t want to bother wasting energy on her lolol

Thrawn name drop!!! :O

“Wait here, I’ll go get him” DIN SOUNDS SO SAD 😭😭😭

Ahsoka’s face, omg she knows she can’t separate father and son

AWWW DIN LOOKING AT SLEEPING BABY MY HEART

DIN IS SO SAD IM GONNA CRI

Grogu’s like nah man and goes back to sleep

AWWWWWWWWW THEY’RE SITTING TOGETHER OMGGGG

DIN IS BEING SO SOFT AND AFFECTIONATE WITH GROGU I CANT HANDLE THIS

And they’re still together!!! Best ending TvT

AHHH SO MANY THINGS IN THIS EPISODE!!! Really enjoyed this one, and so glad to see my girl live action! I’m still nervous as to what’s to come but only time will tell

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian chapter 13 #the mandalorian spoilers #din djarin #baby yoda #grogu #ahsoka tano #chinadolltalks

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clansayeed · 4 years

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Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 12: The Return

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

The gang returns to New York with a well-earned victory under their belts. But that means Nadya has to face Kamilah, and she isn't quite sure she knows how to feel just yet.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Nadya leans on the rail with a wistful sigh. Takes a moment and just… lets herself enjoy the peace of being at peace. No memories haunting her behind her eyelids, no immediate danger… at least none she can see right in front of her.

No, the only thing in front of her is New Orleans. The French Quarter spread out for blocks around her in vibrant colors going pale against the purpling sky. It’ll be dawn soon.

Did she sigh already? Well… no harm in another one.

Taylor’s learned his lesson in sneaking up on her. Why else would he knock on the door leading up to the roof instead of taking advantage of one final attempt to startle her silly?

He clicks his tongue with a wry look. “Careful now, that sigh right there, that’s trouble. Means you’re falling in love with this place and you won’t ever wanna leave.”

Nadya can’t help it that she laughs.

“Are you trying to sound like Garrus?” It sounds like something the fae would say, actually.

“No, and frankly you don’t want to hear my Garrus impersonation,” he hesitates; waits for Nadya’s little go-ahead of a nod before joining her overlooking the city as it begins to put itself to sleep, “it’s not very good. My Ivy on the other hand…”

Their laughter is soft and polite. They wouldn’t dare jostle the world below.

“I mean, when I went off to college I had dreams of road trips on spring break, summers spent with one program or another. New Orleans was always on my list.”

“And did she live up to the hype?”

Now how exactly is Nadya supposed to answer that honestly? “Well college-aged me probably wouldn’t have been hanging around the Graveyard Shift, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Nadya, babe, you have got to stop being a hard mood,” Taylor places a hand to his chest, “my little empath heart just can’t take much more of it.”

She shoves him (gently) and their laugh is a little less awkward the second time around. Probably because he is, indeed, an empath. And he gets exactly what she’s feeling right now.

Longing — exhaustion — trepidation — to name a few.

He nudges her shoulder with his own. “You’ll have to come back when everything’s fixed on your end; see the city for real, you know? Not just all the bad things.”

Not like she goes searching for the bad things, thanks. They just kind of… happen dangerously close in her proximity. “I’d like that. Lil’ too, for sure.”

“Oh, for sure. Though I have a feeling her and Ivy together might be a bit more trouble than Nik’ll want to deal with.”

And on that Nadya can most certainly agree. Not that she does so with words. Strangely she doesn’t feel much like talking right now. Not-so-strangely, Taylor doesn’t either. So they lean in mutual silence and watch the streets below. People going through the motions; living their lives.

Lives far less strange than theirs.

The blue of the dawn is just starting to bleed orange when he finally speaks again.

“You’re not used to winning the day, are you?” She isn’t surprised in the least to look and see that strange iridescence back in his irises.

“I don’t have enough coffee in me to answer a question like that,” which — that’s her answer; but Taylor definitely isn’t taking it, “I mean… back when all this stuff started; we won then, I think. Adrian was exonerated and Jax joined the Council and Vega wasn’t trying to kill me anymore —”

Taylor holds up a finger. “Wait — like the missing Senator, that Vega?”

“You knew him?”

“Uh, Vee and our friend Kristin lived up there together. Wait a second—he was a vam— no… that’s not the point. Sorry, please continue.”

God, is that how I look to other people, Nadya wonders; but it’s humbling to see somehow.

“Anyway… I thought everything turned out for the better, and for a while it was better. But now that I think about it…” Gaius, Jameson, the Trinity; all of them lurking just on the other side of the two-way glass. Waiting for the time to strike and take her happiness away; to pluck memories from her she never asked for all in pursuit of some epic fantasy-level world conquering.

If the fight wasn’t over, did that still count as a victory?

“And you’re left wondering if this is the same deal. If you’ve really won, or if there’s more stuff—worse stuff—just out of sight.” Taylor finishes for her. Still a little weird and possibly more akin to mind-reading than the half-fae originally led her to believe, but for the moment she’s glad to not have to say it.

“Yeah, exactly.”

His hand comes to rest over Nadya’s on the railing. He’s warmer than he should be and the sun’s got nothing to do with it. Likely his weirdness is helped by touch, too. Which Taylor all but confirms aloud when a sudden but not unwelcome ease relaxes the tension she didn’t know she’d gathered in her shoulders.

“I can’t offer any answers, and I don’t think I’d want to. With my luck I’d be wrong and you’d hate me forever.” He’s joking but Nadya still rolls her eyes and shakes her head for it.

“But I can say that no matter what happens? You’ll always have friends here to call up if needed.”

What is she supposed to say to something so sincere? “Same to you, Taylor, same to you.”

A sleek black car with tinted windows pulls around the corner and onto their lonely street to park right in front of the bar.

Looks like their ride is here.

Kamilah isn’t waiting for them when the plane pulls into the nice and shady hangar. Nadya tells herself she isn’t surprised by this… but she’s trying not to tell herself mostly-truths lately either. Luckily she’s still too exhausted (and she’s pretty sure she only got about half an hour’s nap in the entire time they were in New Orleans) to make much of a fuss about it.

In fact, Nadya barely remembers sending a text off before she and Lily both are being ushered into the back seat of one of Adrian’s company cars.

[TEXT]: back in NY and miss you like crazy. can we plz talk?? [TEXT]: its nadia

And its the most dreamless, dead-to-the-world-est sleep she knew she needed but didn’t know how to get. Staying awake for near-days and going through every emotion under the sun and also dealing with a high-stakes pursuit weren’t exactly on her list of viable solutions to her sleeping troubles.

Ergo the point of all this — no one is allowed to think her anything less than totally justified when Nadya wakes up in her own bed, in her own bedroom, sometime well after sunset and thinks for even the smallest second that everything was just a dream. She knows logically that it wasn’t… but still.

Totally justified.

When her eyes adjust to the lack of light Nadya realizes she’s not alone. There’s a figure sitting on the edge of her bed nearest the window, away from the door. Giving her the chance to escape if she needs it; making sure she doesn’t feel trapped.

Only one person would do that.

She fumbles for her glasses on the nightstand but leaves her bedside lamp untouched. Can’t shake the feeling like if she does turn the lights on then Kamilah will vanish. This is better for them both.

“Hi.”

Something moves near her head; Nadya leans back to see the woman pulling her fingertips away from where they had been combing through her hair gently. She wants it back so much she aches from the loss of them.

“Hello,” replies Kamilah; sounding awfully breathless for a woman who doesn’t need to breathe, “did you rest well? You… seemed to need it.”

Probably not what she meant to ask judging by the way the neon signs from across the street illuminate her in postmodern beauty. It’s okay though — Nadya isn’t sure she has the courage yet to say what really needs saying.

“When did you get here…?”

“Shortly after your return. Oh, Lily wished for you to know she’s left for the evening. She didn’t leave a message as to why.”

So it’s just been Nadya and Kamilah in the apartment for at least the daylight hours. Alone; together. And not talking about their problems.

When Nadya sits up (in part to look at Kamilah better, in part to make sure she doesn’t fall back asleep on accident) the bed dips as Kamilah shifts back; makes to stand and leave her with all this twin-sized budget bed kit to herself. And because she can’t stand a thought so terrible Nadya reaches out and stops her with a hand on her arm.

“Kamilah.”

A long pause — then; “Yes, Nadya?”

“Why are you here?”

“You messaged me,” so Nadya of course fumbles for her phone and finds it charging under her pillow, “though I suppose I should have realized you were exhausted beyond recognition.”

“Why’s that?”

“You spelled your own name wrong.”

Upon further inspection yes, yes she did. “Glad you weren’t expecting some other disaster you’re dating also named Nadia…” That she chooses not to dwell on the fact that she may have very well used that word for the first time in the middle of their first fight is actually self-care.

Or — she doesn’t until Kamilah’s been quiet for an awfully long time.

“Uhm — I take that back, actually — what I meant was…”

“I won’t disagree.”

Only Kamilah Sayeed could look so perfect framed in the flickering lights of a discount electronics shop.

“But you’re my disaster.”

Nadya kisses her because every other time it’s been Kamilah who takes the lead, takes charge, takes her. This isn’t some attempt to switch that dynamic either (in fact Nadya’s very happy with it just the way it is) but what else is she supposed to do seeing all these vulnerable parts of such an invulnerable woman one right after the other?

But — no, she can’t fall into this. Fall into her. Not without talking. But holy mother of crap she doesn’t wanna do anything but moan at the lips soft on her cheeks, her chin, her throat…

“Kamilah.”

Nadya only has to say her name once. They both know how this works. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the hesitance; the resistance before they part and she all but forces them to meet eye-to-eye. Nor does it mean that she doesn’t take just the tiniest bit of happiness from it.

When Nadya starts pulling away Kamilah holds on just a little bit tighter. Only for a moment; then its gone.

“We can’t not —” — talk about this.

“I know; I agree.”

And she’s got a whole speech planned out in bullet points; not even fully seated and she’s already buzzing to jump right into it. Until—

“I was uncertain and without control. I fell back on old habits to bring my life to a heel — but those were the wrong choices to make. They nearly cost me… something very important.”

Kamilah’s hand falls open on top of the bedspread and Nadya takes it for the offering it is. Their fingers slot together familiar and like nothing’s changed but this is different. This is talking about it; this is… this is Kamilah apologizing. “They nearly cost me you, Nadya.”

Now is not the time to go all red in the face and flustered. Nadya’s willpower is astounding frankly. “There was never a second where I doubted that you cared. Not about what I was going through, or what it was doing to… to everything in my life. But I think there was a part of me that didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to believe that you and… and the you I saw were —” — were the same person.

Kamilah’s thumb strokes along her knuckles slow and rhythmic. “My thoughts are the same. I am not fragments of a woman; a queen, different than a soldier, different than a killer, different than who I am today. I am all of those things and more. And perhaps still there are parts of myself I have not yet come to know.”

Nadya chances a look up while she listens, but it’s the words Kamilah doesn’t say that catch her by surprise. The ones about who that person she doesn’t know could be. And—god she hopes she’s not reading too much into this—who she could be that person with.

“I think I get it now.”

“And what would that be?”

She squeezes their hands until it hurts because she knows it’s probably the weight of a feather to someone like Kamilah.

“We were scared of the same thing and for the same reasons; you… and your past. But I wanted to know more. I—I wanted to talk about it, without thinking of how hard bringing up all of those bad memories might be for you.”

Kamilah purses her lips and offers a slow nod. “Insightful; and perhaps I was so insistent on trying to keep that knowledge from you that I did not stop to consider what… I was saying in withholding it.”

Now the question is… where do they go from here?

“So we work on that — we try and… understand what the other is doing when she…”

“Makes a mistake she instantly regrets?”

Nadya smiles, but it’s strained. “That’s half of the things I do anyway though.”

“You know my meaning in the context of this, Nadya.”

“Yeah, but that’s not my only problem.” Which isn’t the best word she could use but at the moment she’s not focusing so much on word choice as actual feelings. And Nadya… feels a problem. There’s a breath of a second where it feels like Kamilah might start to pull away, but it passes.

She thinks better of it. She tries to understand.

“You are amazing, Kamilah. You are this… super gorgeous, super smart, super old—in a good way I swear—and super experienced vampire. But it’s not a smart thing for us to—to ignore that.”

“I wasn’t under the impression we had been.”

This is more painful to admit than Nadya thought it was gonna be. There’s no turning back now though; no ‘Restart from Checkpoint’ or save to load.

And this is so so important. Nadya wants to follow through, and not just for the sake of them. She deserves it for herself. “Maybe you haven’t — but I have. I thought that was the only way we were gonna make this work. Only, if I ignore that then I’m ignoring the fact that you are always going to have a power over me. A physical one. You lashed out and…”

“And I could have hurt you.” That Kamilah’s hand tightens with hers is the literal definition of ironic but she knows it comes from a good place; the same place all that honesty was walled up inside now pouring out.

“Nadya, please tell me you know I would never have hurt you. I don’t think I could.”

“That’s not the point. The point is you were angry, and your first reaction was to try and scare me into running away.”

See, this is Nadya’s problem. There’s a reason her life is so organized — without all her colored pens and sticky notes and multiple tabs that always end up in the strangest places, she’s a literal human mess. Prone to rambling and impulsive actions that aren’t always good for her health; physical and emotional both.

She didn’t organize this part of her talk with Kamilah. She didn’t even know this part existed. And now it’s out there in the world without a label tacked on and… and…

“And I don’t think that’s something I’m quite… over, yet.”

Nadya trusts Kamilah still; she doesn’t flinch away when the woman’s free hand comes up to her cheek — thumbs away a tear she didn’t know was falling. She can separate the then from the now.

But at the end of the day her trust and the way she had felt betrayed that night… they weren’t mutually exclusive.

She turns her face into the lingering palm. When she exhales her breath rattles in her lungs.

“I miss you.”

Kamilah’s hand betrays her composed silence; the barest tremor. “I’m here, Nadya.”

Nadya who doesn’t want to pull back, never wanted to pull back… but what is she saying to herself if she doesn’t?

“I miss you,” she repeats, “and I still care about you — I don’t really see that changing any time soon. And I’ll forgive you, really—I will. I just need some time.”

I know there are no promises you’ll be there when I’m ready, or if you won’t have moved on, or if you can’t forgive me for not forgiving you, or for not understanding you, or for making you feel this way. But I feel this way too.

And in all the things she wants to say but doesn’t, Nadya’s left still and heartbroken. Completely by her own design.

The bed dips and Nadya lets her eyes flutter closed as Kamilah’s lips press to her forehead. Not so much a kiss as a touch; something sincere and solid and so so sad.

Kamilah commits the warmth and life of her to memory. Nadya dares to hope that some day they’ll have all of this again.

She has to. If anything deserves hope right now it’s them.

Finally — too soon, too damned soon — a whisper tickles at her hairline.

“I’ll be here.”

When she opens her eyes Nadya is alone.

Jax has a really good point; if the heat from Adrian’s industrial-grade blowtorch hadn’t been enough to melt the gold, then they probably didn’t need to worry about his sword scratching the stupid thing up in any way that didn’t lend to opening it.

Everyone still backs up a few paces for good measure. They’ve all seen him in action — and the man needs a wide berth.

Nadya closes her eyes and braces herself but she still isn’t prepared for the hollow screeching clang every time the sharpened steel collides with the surface of the Amulet. One—two—three.

He stops after three. Judging by the enraged determination in his eye though he’d keep going given the opportunity.

Lily throws her hands up before crossing out ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’ on the transparent eraser board. “I’m calling it. This thing is a horcrux.”

“A what?” asks Adrian, but Nadya just gives him the now familiar “I’ll explain it later” wave-off. Because unless pop culture references were the secret puzzle to opening the Amulet of Nero they weren’t that important in the moment.

She pushes her glasses up and unsuccessfully stifles a yawn with the back of her hand. Brings her focus back to their list of attempts to crack open (literally) the case… all of which have failed miserably.

‘METALWORKING HAMMER’ ‘REGULAR HAMMER’ ‘BLOWTORCH’ ‘ASKING IT NICELY’ (Nadya’s idea) ‘OPEN SESAME’ (Maricruz’s idea) ‘ASSAULT BY KATANA’

Off to the left Lily’s circled ‘MISSING KEY??’ over and over in the corner and while they had all agreed to try and hold out on just not having found the right amount of physical force they might as well face it.

They’re running out of options.

Adrian clears his throat and stares hard enough at Nadya that the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Ahem, Nadya, could you…?”

“Oh — yes — sorry guys, my bad.”

When she pulls the cover back over the Amulet the difference is immediate. The tension leaves her friends’ shoulders; they sit a little less restless and their eyes are a little less bordering-vampish.

Nadya wasn’t the only one who had been content to write off the strange aura that had come over the vampires in Isadora de la Rosa’s booth as nothing more than trepidation for the inevitable. Now, however, they have to face the facts.

There’s something in the Amulet that draws vampires to it. Cadence had said so himself — when he talked about generations of vampire influence. It’s not enough to incite a war (about which Nadya was admittedly worried, and with good reason given their track record) but covering it was a noticeable benefit to rational thinking.

They only have one thing going for them right now; if they can’t open it then no one else can, either. Hopefully that includes the Trinity. Maybe it even includes Gaius. Who knows? They certainly don’t.

There are too many unknowns — and they’re starting to take a toll on everyone in one form or another.

Adrian begins to gather up the dozens of data graphs spread out in front of him. “With that, I think we’ve come to a natural stopping point for the evening.” And nobody disagrees.

While Nadya carefully wraps the Amulet back up to return it to the R&D vault, Lily leans on her elbows and watches.

“I take it we still haven’t heard from Cadence? What about calling up Izzy?”

If only she had good news to give. “Nope; and I already did. She definitely remembers feeling that weird magnetism to it before it was repossessed by Persephone but nothing beyond that that she knew of. Actually,” she throws a look over to Adrian, “she suggested one thing; witch-fire? Something like that.”

He seems hesitant to mull the idea over. But they were desperate enough to let Jax hit it repeatedly, so…

“I’ll look into a few contacts. That kind of magic should only be used sparingly and in dire cases.”

“Would this count?”

A beat. “Probably. We would have to run it by the Council, though.” Which kind of nulls even the idea. Since everyone had agreed not to tell the rest of the Council yet. Not only because of the Amulet’s potential.

Lester, Priya, the Baron — Nadya likes to try and see the best in people as much as possible but they don’t make it easy on her. None of them are certain who would, if it came down to it, side against Gaius for a second time.

Nothing is unlikely anymore.

Wow, their shortest-lived idea yet.

Nadya nods towards the vault for Lily to follow. “As for the other thing — Kathy’s starting to get worried. I guess he left town a day after we did.” Which the Nighthunter had admitted wasn’t off-brand for Cadence. But the museum had let slip (which Nadya knows means ‘been bullied into admitting’) that he had been granted a leave of absence; very off-brand.

“The one thing he’s always had is that damn museum. No identity, no Izzy, and we both know I’m a recent development. He was a manic mess the first time that kind of dissociation happened.” The Nighthunter had kept her cool better than Nadya would have in her situation. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried ill.

“What if it’s worse this time,” even through the phone she couldn’t hide her concern; her fear, “what if he hurts himself? What if he hurts someone else?”

Hopefully they find him soon. But she’s met that strange group of people; the regulars at the Graveyard Shift. If anyone has the ability (and sheer force of stubborn will, to be honest) to find Cadence it’s them.

“I mean, if I went Jekyll and Hyde around a chick as crazy as that Trinity woman, I’d probably want to get away for my own health too.”

Lily’s comment doesn’t sit well with her; luckily at her admonishing look she at least looks apologetic. “You know what I mean.”

“I also know a little bit of what he’s going through.”

There’s an “ahem” behind them as Nadya spins the wheel on the vault. Adrian definitely has the look of someone who knows he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping but was anyway.

“Speaking of.”

Only… she’d rather not speak of it until it becomes a problem. “It’s fine,” she replies, and waves it off. That was what they’d agreed on for the time being, right? And there haven’t been any problems.

Turns out feeling the weight of relationship-burdened depression the moment you walk through your front door lends to a pretty heavy sleeping pattern. Like Nadya’s body doesn’t want her to do anything but try to get through the next day, and the next, and maybe… just maybe the one after that.

Adrian doesn’t seem immediately convinced. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise.” Which — he still doesn’t really get the concept but the verbal agreement is enough.

Once the lab is fully shut down they manage to pile together into the elevator. Jax thumbs at his phone, blows the hair out of his eyes just a little too close to Nadya’s ear for her liking. She swats him away because personal bubble.

“What’s the matter?”

“Eh, Espinoza wants —” But he catches himself with a look in Lily’s direction. “— something. She wants something. And I gotta… go get it.”

Nadya and Adrian just shake their heads and laugh at him while Lily pretends with absolutely no tact whatsoever not to know what he’s talking about. She even sticks her fingers in her ears like that’ll somehow stop her super vampire hearing.

Jax, somehow with even less tact, like negative tact, takes it as permission to lean and murmur on Nadya’s free side. “Apparently Lula got into the cake. So…”

“Weren’t there three?” Adrian hisses, surprised.

“You’ll get it when you meet her.”

Nadya reaches around and pats Jax’s chest awkwardly. “Good luck with that. Maybe try putting them in the passenger seat this time.”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying… third time’s the charm you know.”

When she gives Lily a nod in ‘all clear’ everyone knows she heard everything. But she’s just excited to know Maricruz is going as all-out as she possibly can, so who would be so heartless as to spoil the whole thing by just admitting the obvious?

Adrian lets them all off on the ground level and offers Nadya one last chance to go home early. “What do you pay her for if you keep giving her chances to not work?” And Jax raises a good point — too good of a point. She maybe shoves him in front of her with all her might, and he maybe stumbles. The world may never know. “Just saying — let me know next time there’s an opening.”

“I’ll be up in a sec. I just have to stake him first.”

She and Lily wave until the doors close. Yes, they live together and see each other every day. Yes, they recently defied death in New Orleans together. But its rare now that Nadya and Lily get a chance to unwind like they used to. So whenever it comes along they’re both there to indulge greedy and giggling.

“Mari’s really going all out with this party, huh?”

It’s a valiant effort but Lily doesn’t look so much humbly embarrassed as expectantly excited. “I think I’m in love, Nadi’,” she jumps the next few steps like hopscotch, “she was fully ready to get a bouncy castle.”

“How are they going to fit a bouncy castle in the Shadow Den?”

“Oh I didn’t say I let her. But she was planning on it, and isn’t that what true love is all about?”

Nadya tries not to falter. Key word being tries. And around anyone else she might do everything in her power not to draw attention to it but this is Lily. Who found her huddled up in bed hours after Kamilah’s farewell and called to cancel her own date to stay with her; to be there for her and give her all the hugs she desperately needed but didn’t know how to ask for.

She doesn’t need to pretend around that kind of love and friendship.

But before Nadya can apologize Lily starts up an air drum solo in front of her while they walk. “And winner for Most Insensitive Best Friend Ever is — drum roll…”

“You’re fine, Lil’.”

“I’m gushing about my life while you’re… not so hot.”

Nope, Nadya won’t have it. “You’re gonna gush because you have every right to gush, okay? You’ve been a vampire for a whole year. That’s super important. You survived Turning, became the digital fanged crusader, and it’s ten times more cool because you did it all without a brand. Jax and Adrian can’t say that. Heck… even Kamilah can’t.

“So if you want a Turning party, you’re gonna get a Turning party. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re worth celebrating.” They lace their fingers and Nadya squeezes. “Plus if Jax shows up with the third set of cakes to a canceled party I think he might flip his lid.”

Lily gives a dramatic little sniffle — pretends to wipe a nonexistent tear from her eye. “Please tell me you just memorized all that.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll be the speech to end all speeches.”

Together they play-shove all the way through the Raines Building atrium. Right before the revolving door Lily spins her around, takes both of their hands together and swings them gently.

“Do you want me to uninvite her? She probably doesn’t even care.”

“No — and even if we broke up, like, badly I wouldn’t want that. I’m just not that kind of person.”

“True, you’d probably invite them to Christmas dinner or something.”

She rolls her eyes at that and ignores it for her own sanity. “And for the record — as someone with experience in decoding Kamilah-isms, I think you surprised her. She admires strength, and Lily… you’re the strongest person I know.”

When they hug, like always, their glasses get jostled in the middle and the following laughter lightens both of their hearts. Lily makes her promise to add that last line to her speech (which inadvertently is a promise to write a speech, she’s guessing) and only when she’s out the doors and around the corner of the block does Nadya head back up to the office.

Adrian is leaning in his open doorway when she exits the elevator — Nadya slows her steps for a hesitant second before coming to realize he’s just having another one of his pensive moods. He’s been having them a lot lately. More and more since they returned from New Orleans.

This one looks different though. He’s not staring into space — he’s staring at her.

“What?” She finally yields, glancing at her boss over her shoulder while the computer boots up slow as a snail. “What’s that face for?”

Nadya nearly convinces herself he isn’t going to answer.

“It’s good to see you smiling, that’s all.” He leans out and squeezes her shoulder; something soft and friendly and so sweet her teeth ache from it. Before Adrian can pull away Nadya makes sure to return the gesture.

“It’s good to smile,” which is far more bleak than she would like, “you know something?”

Adrian pauses mid-step. “Hm?”

“It’s even better to mean it.”

#bloodbound #playchoices fanfiction #choices bb #kamilah x mc #kamilah sayeed #bloodbound mc #mc: nadya al jamil #nightbound mc #mc: taylor hunter #adrian raines #jax matsuo #lily spencer #fic: oblivion bound #oblv: bound by destiny ii #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

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