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#that you can't even be honest with yourself
mysteryshoptls · 3 days
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Fellow Honest Shared Lines
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Level Up 1: This is all a fountain of knowledge!
Level Up 2: I'm improving bit by bit. So, this is what it means to learn!
Level Up 3: Well, ain't this a surprise. Who'd've thunk I'd still have room to grow?
Level Max: Bet you never thought some washed-up loser like me would ever get this far, huh? Watch me surpass those cocky little scholars one day! Fwahahahaha!
Vignette Level Up: You must have it rough, always surrounded by those magically gifted little brats every day. When you get tired of it, you should come to the school I plan to open. We'd welcome you with open arms. Fwahahahahahahaha!
Spell Level Up: How'd ya like them apples? See, even someone like me can get it done, if I take some classes! Don'tcha think I'm looking more and more like a proper scholar?
Friendship Level Up: Can't believe you're trying to be friends with me, after going through that harrowing experience. You're a little too soft-hearted, ain'tcha? Not gonna be my fault if you get taken for a ride again, fwahahahahaha!
Friendship Level Max: Whew, you sure got me at a loss! How is it you're such a little charmer? Hmm? Sure, I'm pretty good at that sort of stuff too, but you're definitely not bad at your attempts to bond.
Uncapped: Me 'n Gidel'll keep growing stronger. When that happens, none of you will be a match for us. Prepare yourself for that moment.
Groovification: Regardless of their status, everyone should have the equal chance to gain an education. Schools are a necessity.
Lesson Select 1: Okay then, let's see what's so great about Night Raven College.
Lesson Select 2: Listen to that, Gidel. The happy voices of children on their way to class is a pleasant sound, indeed.
Lesson Select 3: Homework and tests...? No wait, calm down and think it through. If I decide I don't like it, I can just not have them at my school when I set it up...
Lesson Start: Onwards, to class!
Lesson Finish: This is the type of course they have at an arcane academy, hm...
Battle Start: You’ll see just what Fellow Honest is capable of.
Battle Won: Being an actor is hard work, you know.
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Requested by Anonymous.
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exhaslo · 1 day
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Over-Time Ch15
(CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader)
Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4,Ch5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9, Ch10, Ch11, Ch12, Ch13, Ch14
Warning: MINORS DNI, sexual thoughts, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing, fluff, touch starved
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After a long day of worrying over several different things, it was finally time to clock out.
You wanted relief to wash over you as Miguel took your hand.
You wanted to feel relieved as Miguel kept comforting you.
But it was difficult.
Your nerves were getting worse as you kept overthinking about everything that could go wrong. Miguel must have noticed because he kept helping you walk since you were stumbling everywhere. It was embarrassing.
"Amor, (love), I must admit while I hate how stressed you are, I can't help but find your clumsiness adorable." Miguel whispered as he kissed your neck.
"S-Sorry,"
"Allow me to ease yourself," Miguel hummed as his hands stroked down your waist, "I don't want my girl to get gray hairs before me."
"Haha," You chuckled.
As much as you enjoyed Miguel's attention, you knew that you needed answers first. Moving his hands away from your skirt, you leaned forward and pecked his lips.
"Answers first, Miguel."
"Of course,"
The car ride to Miguel's place was quiet. Miguel was respectful of your wishes, his arm only around your shoulder. How much of what Dana said was true? You knew that Miguel would be honest with you, but it still concerned you.
Noticing the car slowing down, you look out the window and saw beautiful skyscrapers. You watched as you pulled into a tightly secured parking lot. The driver parked and exited the vehicle.
"Sir, Ma'am, we have arrived." The driver spoke as he opened the door. Miguel helped you out,
"Thank you. Enjoy the rest of your night."
"Thank you, sir. You as well."
You were in awe over the parking lot alone. It was large, fancy and had lots of body guards. Miguel rested his hand against your waist, leading you towards a brightly lit elevator.
Once inside, you were surprised to see more buttons on the elevator pad than the one at work.
"Would you like to guess what floor I'm on?" Miguel asked you sweetly. You pressed your lips forward, thinking,
"Um...twenty?" You asked, pressing the button. Miguel just chuckled,
"No, try again."
"Uh, twenty-five?" You questioned, pressing another button.
"Haha," Miguel let out a loud laugh as he grabbed your hand, "You don't need to keep pressing the buttons."
"O-Oh! Sorry!"
"Here," Miguel held your hands as he pressed the final floor, "There we go, top floor."
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Miguel was itching to touch you more. The warmth of your hand was not enough for him. Feeling you tremble, Miguel just relished in your sweetness. He needed to be respectful of your wishes. To wait until he told you everything.
But Miguel was so bad at listening to himself.
Miguel wanted to kiss you. He wanted to press your body against his, wanting to feel your warmth. Miguel wanted to hear your sexy moans as he groped your body.
To have you pressed against these elevator walls as he slapping his dick into your tight walls. The sounds you would make as Miguel would turn your insides into a hot, wet mess. The way your legs would tremble as your pussy squeezed his dick.
'Shit'
Miguel inhaled deeply as he felt himself getting hard. How easy you did this to him. To think that even the great and powerful Miguel could fold so easily. All because of you.
"(Y/N), may I hold you just a bit?" Miguel asked, wanting you to feel what you were doing to him.
"S-Sure," You stuttered.
Ah, Miguel could never get enough of you. His shy little clumsy mouse. Closing his eyes, Miguel inhaled the perfume you wore. Such a sweet scent. Perfect for when he would ravish you later. His little dessert.
"Miguel," You whined softly.
"Sorry, I don't want anyone seeing," Miguel said a softly
It was true, he didn't want people seeing the state he was in. Almost like a feral beast just wanted to fuck his prey pregnant. Oh how the news reporters would eat this up.
Miguel just needed to wait until they got to his penthouse. Once the two of you did, Miguel hurried took your hand into his place.
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You're eyes widen at the sight of Miguel's penthouse. It was large and spacious. Miguel was quick to grab some water before leading you over to the couch.
"Sorry about this, but feel free to look around. I'm going to shower and take care of this first."
"It's okay. Take your time," You hummed. Miguel raised a brow towards you, a slight smirk on his face,
"Unless you care to join me?"
"A-Ah," Your cheeks started to burn, "A-Answers first!"
"Hm, if I answer some of your questions, would you then join me in the shower?"
Why did Miguel have to be so charming? Your heart was leaping at the thought of joining him. That and you pressed your legs together as you started to get hot.
"Maybe..."
"Alright. Before you start your questions, I want you to know that Dana means nothing to me."
"But she did at some point, right?" You hesitantly asked. Miguel sighed softly,
"We had known each other for a long time. She was a friend to me, at least before our two families spoke of marriage. To please my family, I tried to see Dana as something more than a friend...but..." Miguel's look turned sour.
"But?"
"I tried to love her, tried to give her the attention she wanted, but it was never enough. Dana wanted more. I couldn't stand her butting into everything. I started to lie to get rid of her."
"So...why did you sign the contract?" You asked. Miguel stroked your cheek,
"I did, but I didn't. One night I got drunk, too drunk, and she took advantage of it. (Y/N), I am using every lawyer I have under my belt to get out of this arrangement."
"I see," You whispered and gulped, "Um...have you ever...had sex with her?" You didn't want to ask, but you recalled Dana's words.
Miguel must have saw the hurt in your eyes. He kissed your head and stayed in front of you, keeping eye contact.
"I have twice, but it wasn't real love."
It hurt to hear Miguel admit it, but at least he was honest. You had wanted to be Miguel's first as well, but that might have been asking for too much.
"I have other questions...Dana mentioned about you hiding stuff about your family, your past and about your desires and wants?"
"I will answer everything you want. (Y/N), unlike that snake, I care for you. I truly love you and want to keep you by my side. If anything, my main desire is to free myself from that woman and have you all to myself." Miguel kissed your hands. "I want to keep you all to myself."
"Can't you rip the contract?"
"If only it were that easy," Miguel took the seat beside you, "If I were to rip the contract or refuse to marry her, then Dana will have access to my company. I can't let her take everything I worked hard for. She cares only for the money, but she will ruin everything."
"But...it allows you to openly have another relationship?"
"I've read the contract. I can do as I please, so long so, that I don't break off the marriage," Miguel sighed as he leaned back into the couch, "I swear that woman drives me insane."
Playing with your fingers, you could feel Miguel's stress. He truly hated Dana. Wanting to cheer him up, you slowly crawled on top of Miguel's lap. Your hands resting against his cheeks to get his attention again.
"I'm sorry for worrying about this...and for doubting you. I just...I just tend to overthink, that and Dana was pretty s-scary. This...This is my first relationship and I really really like you, Miguel. I was scared that it wasn't real."
"(Y/N)," Miguel wiped your tears away, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, "Sorry to not have warned you about her earlier."
"I-It's okay."
You sniffled softly, calming down. As you did, you whimpered as you felt Miguel's bulge press against your crotch. Miguel hummed lowly as his hands rested against your waist,
"Why don't I answer a few more questions in the shower? Help you clear your mind of worries?"
"Mhm, M-Miguel," You whimpered at the thought.
"Come, let's wash up."
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Next Chapter
@timidquindim @decentsoupperson @ivkygirly @reader-1290 @daddyfroglegs @eepybunny0805 @ddreabea @iamperson12280 @migueloharasoulmate @tojishugetiddies @koko-1025 @hyeinwluv85s @daisy-artfield @migueloharastruelove @a-lil-whore @hcqwxrtss123 @the-pan-liquid @tojisfav @pochapo @bubblegumfanfictions @brighterthanlonelythoughts @ghstypaint @mangoslushcrush @synamonthy @scaleniusrm @moonspectorx @dorck26 @a060403 @lunablackcosplay @soraya-daydreams @lovefanfic1 @mymrsweirdnessshipperstuff-blog @pretty-pink-princesss @corpsebridenightamare @razertail18 @gachagator @droolingmuttt @miguelsfavwife @ryzguy06 @raideaters-blog @manishkaworld @keidilla @byjessicalotufo @pigeonmama @k3ythesapphic @acesangels @stealingyourturts @angel-xx-1 @amberbalcom14 @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @oscarissac2099 @keepghostly @zeyzeys-stuff @k3ythesapphic @nightingale1011 @uncle-eggy @safixiovi @flaps200 @dahehow @weirdothatwritess @gerblinradio @electronicchaoschaos @mafiaanomaly @keyisloved @unwrittenletter @reader4life @leenasgirl200 @oscarissac2099 @mari0-o @cinnamoro1l @leryg0 @hizzielover @resident-clown @girl-of-multi-fandoms @sana-408-blog
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thatfrailsoul · 2 days
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– The chosen path
tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )
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"Manuela", Conrad Kiesel
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This word is so vast... There are so many possibilities, so many different stories, so many journeys that we can go through and that can shape our life, who we are... So many of them, and all depend on just our choice. A choice that is not at all easy to make. Not so easy to be sure of, even if we already made the first steps.
This reading focuses on the path that you already chose, that you did already start. It focuses on letting you know if it was indeed the right one or if there is still time to make steps back. If there is something regarding it to know and to keep in mind. (And a reading focused on helping you to choose the right path and journey for you, will be posted in a few days from now.♡)
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Slow down for a moment. Take a deep breath, give yourself a needed moment of reflection and rest. Wander through the details of this painting... Which one attracts more your gaze? To which part of the painting it belongs to? Pay attention - it is showing you where your message hides and awaits.
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– Pile One,
the two of swords, the ten of cups, the page of coins
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It took a great deal of courage, didn't it? To make this choice, this uncertain step on a journey that you know so little about. It took all your strength to trust it, to trust others and their reassurance that it is alright, that you will be fine...
It is not at all something that you so often or easily do. Relying on others. Following their opinions or choice... But you were, you are still, so confused and new to this. To this phase of your life that no-one really prepared you for.
You didn't knew anything better. You weren't able to find or choose something different from what those by your side suggested you to pick... And now you just wander if it really will be so easy and right as they said. If, in the first place, their words and convictions were honest, and not just a brutal joke...
While still being so close to the very beginning of this journey, you can't help but look back and all around. Exactly like you did before, in hopes of finding the right one. But now you do it with more fear, even more anxiety than before. Hoping and at the same time fearing to see a sign, a warning, that will tell you that you indeed made a mistake...
But even though it seems so strange, so different from their usual intentions... Those that showed you this journey really did it with a genuine and honest heart. In a rare moment of openness and compassion, they saw in you that version of them that once feared the same. That was so confused and uncertain in the same way. They saw your struggles and worries that resembled so much theirs. And they saw, being someone external, those little hints and details about you and the right journey for you, that you couldn't see on your own, too pressured by the weight of a such important choice.
For once there wasn't any irony, any malice, any bad intention. For once it was just a genuine and heartfelt advice, the needed help, that they once desired so much to receive as well. It was just confidence that it can really work for you, it can really be right for you, for the way you are.
And it can. It truly can be the right path. No matter if you will decide to experience it up until the very end, or just for a period of your life. It has indeed something in store for you. An experience that is worth to be lived, lessons worth to be learned.
It can and will work out if only you go easier on yourself. If only you take your time. If only you do it one step at a time.
It is normal to feel anxious, to feel that pressure of the future that seems so influenced by this choice... But even that future can always change. It is not so scary and settled at all.
You will always be able to change things, to discover and understand more about the life that you want. But now... You already made this choice. You are here. At the very beginning, with so many different ways to live it and to go through it.
So focus your attention for a moment here, commit to this decision, and give it and yourself a chance. For it to help you make progress and create your own experience and life. And for you to enjoy it as you grow.
It was just the first step. Everything is still fine. Everything is still possible. You can still make things work for you on this path. If you so desire.
P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡
_
– Pile Two,
the star, the three of wands, the knight of coins
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It all just feels so fast. So overwhelmingly fast in the way this one step, this one choice, caused so many things to shift in your life. New emotions, new worries, new routines and challenges ahead... All just because you really did thought that it was the right path for you, you were so confident about your choice...
And you were right, actually. You were right in your thoughts that analysed so much all the possibilities and options. You were right in your intuition and inner voice that said that you can do it, that it is the one. You were and are right. The same way this path is still safe for you, even if it seems so chaotic and challenging right now.
It is just the beginning. But not in a fatal, dooming way. It is not just the beginning of these difficulties, problems and thousand of questions without answers that will follow you till the end of your life...
It is just the beginning of this journey. A journey that, no matter how much information you gained or how many opinions you heard, it is still something that is new to you. Completely. Even if you planned it for so long. Even if it's not the first time you make this decision, choose this person, this career or so on. It is still different and new, it will be every single time. And at every first step it will be normal to have so many things to handle and to take care of. So many emotions and thoughts to process before being able to feel confident and calm.
Everything is alright. You didn't make any mistake. You didn't choose any fatal situation or journey. You are fine. This path is fine. It is safe. It is right. Just slow down and breathe. You need a moment, just one, before rushing in.
Let go for a moment of all the things you learned and prepared for this journey. Even if it took you so long to do it... You don't need it now. At least not all of them at once.
You don't need to comprehend everything now. To have the perfect understanding and plan for every question and situation. You don't need to find answers right here and now before making another step... You can just do it. And find it a little later, on your way, perhaps in someone that will be by your side.
You are not alone, whatever this journey might be. There will always be someone that will walk close to you, that will face the same things, and that will be open to take care of them together.
But you are trying to solve it and prepare everything all on your own. Even if no one asked you to, even if there isn't any need at all.
Just slow down. Observe. Allow yourself to truly feel this new beginning. Reflect on the things you are seeing, on what you are experiencing, not on what you could've or should've know.
Spend a moment to focus on yourself as you walk through it, not on the journey as you try to rush it and escape. Take your time, breathe in and breathe out. And remember the you that felt so confident and sure about your capabilities to handle this. Because they were right.
P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡
_
– Pile Three,
the moon, the two of coins, the one of coins
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You worked so hard to create new possibilities, new chances in your life... Perhaps even too much. Focusing your all, your intentions and your dreams, all on the possibility to shift for the better this life that simply didn't fit you anymore...
You gave so much of yourself, in this profound hope that things will become better... But it took so long to happen... That you simply didn't have any choice but to settle, but to go for something that wasn't at all what you wanted, but that was already here, offering some sort of reassurance and safety in the days you most needed it.
You went in a different direction from what you pictured. You got through it all. The frustration, the desperation, the anger, the uncertainty and doubt, the acceptance...
But none of them were as painful as the regret you felt once that opportunity did come into your life, exactly when you already made peace with a different reality, and started to appreciate it the way it is, the ups and downs, making progress and learning to find something good even in this...
Nothing created more conflict and disruption as the decision and choice that you never really asked: the one between the journey you never wanted but accepted and started to get used to, learning how to navigate it and even being proud of the progress you made..; and the one that you for so long dreamed of, so much sacrificed for, but never received, at least not when you wanted it and asked for it.
You weren't prepared for it, you didn't see it coming.. and now you just don't know even how to feel about it. What to do. If it's the moment to say goodbye to that dream, or if to sacrifice for it the hard work of a different journey that you did.
So you are taking time. Making steps both here and there, trying to handle everything, not wanting to choose between one thing or another. Not wanting to feel again so vulnerable and afraid of what comes next.
You are silently working on it, consuming yourself as your mind that first was supposed to choose between them... Is so dangerously starting to consider to keep it going this way. Holding onto both choices, putting on the line your own health just to not risk to ruin and lose both paths again...
But it will happen, inevitably, if you will keep pushing yourself through the days that are simply too filled with all these things. You will lose both of them, sooner or later, simply because you are one, you can take care and experience just so much. You can't do everything and be everywhere. No matter how much you desire it.
You will lose both of them by simply losing yourself. Because it is a dangerous game. It is a too heavy of a sacrifice that you are asking from yourself.
You deserve, you need, to be able to experience one life, enjoy it, love it, feel it. Not only the stress and anxiety that comes from trying to balance two opposite paths.
Step back. Do for yourself this favorur. Stay still for just a moment. And be honest with yourself, with what your heart wants from this life.
Because it is not a matter of the progress you did, of the possibilities or challenges. It has nothing to do with the time you spent doing one thing or desiring the other. You can grow that experience, that progress and passion in yourself... you can start and try, and achieve your goals whenever you want.
But what you can't do is to consume your own self, forcing you to play two games, just for the sake of not losing once.
Choose your story, choose your life. And let go of the other that you know deep down never was yours, never spoke to your heart. You won't lose anything. You will only gain more honesty with yourself and more peace of mind. The safety and stability that you deserve but that you are sacrificing because of the fear of admitting what you feel now.
P.s. And if you would like to receive more clarity and guidance about your situation (through a personal or free reading) - you can find out more about it here!♡
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222col · 10 hours
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second best | part two
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★ patrick zweig x reader ★ you're after revenge, wanting to give patrick a taste of his own medicine, the question is, how long will it last? ★ 5.3k ★ 18+ | cw: smut: unprotected sex, choking, spanking ★ an: part one | take a shot every time u see the word thwaccckkkk
"you gonna win for me tomorrow?" patrick mumbles against your skin, his lips against your neck, arms around your waist as his hips buck up into you. you'd made it to the final of the tournament, your first final of a slam, in only your second pro season. biting down on his earlobe, legs wrapped around his waist, groaning into his ear. "yeah? gonna be a good girl and win for me?" he repeats, causing another moan from you. "you're so beautiful when you play, can't wait to watch you." it's as though the only time you and patrick are truly honest with each other is when you're fucking each other, drunk off the sex, too fucked out to play along with any games that exist between you. you can barely form words to respond to patrick, not that you'd need to, he can understand you without them. he mumbles more praise into your ear as he finishes inside you, panting against your skin. "my perfect girl." he whispers, placing open mouth kisses to your shoulder. my perfect girl. you're not even his girl, not really. immediately sliding off him, starting to get dressed as he attempts to pull you back onto the bed with him. "i need to prepare for tomorrow." you mumble, pulling your t-shirt over your head. "why are you being so bitchy these past few days?" he pokes, leaning back on his palms. "you've barely looked at me if i'm not literally inside you." you're biting back your words, holding in your anger that's so close to bubbling over. waiting desperately to chew him out, curse at him, scream every word you can think of at him, but you don't. you simply stand, walk over to the door, and tell him goodbye.
you'd vowed to yourself that your time in new york was the end of your time with patrick, as soon as the us open was over, so were you and him. you'd come to your senses after getting home the night of the quarter finals. you wanted revenge. you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine, make him sweat. show him what he was doing to you was wrong, that you deserved better than second best. it might be slightly immoral, but patrick had pushed you past limits you didn't know you had. you knew the easy thing would be just telling his girlfriend, but that was almost too easy. you wanted to see him worked up, wanted to see how far he'd go denying his feelings for you. how long he could go before snapping.
6-3. first set. 5-4. second set. you were one game away from lifting the trophy. one game away from your first grand slam title. 40-15. one more point. thwaccckkkk! the ball bounces onto the other side of the net and straight past your opponent, feeling yourself fall to the ground as the crowd erupts. letting a scream fall from your lips, pulling yourself back up to your feet. patrick's the first you see, stood with your team, wide grin plastered on his face as you walk over to shake your opponents hand. after you collect your trophy, doing all your press junkets, you head into the dressing room. seeing patrick sat there, on the bench waiting for you. "congrats, champ." he sits there smirking at you as you drop your bag to the floor. you walk straight over to him, standing between his legs as he wraps his arms around you. "i'm all sweaty, get off." you mumble, despite his grip only tightening. "no, i love it." he grins, his face pushing into your stomach, kissing the fabric that clings to your skin. "so proud of you." he whispers, inhaling your scent as his hands move down to your ass, underneath your skirt, massaging the flesh through your shorts. his face turns up, looking up to you as you stand before him, ripping your tight top off your body. breathing in deeply, before patrick stands, letting you peel his t-shirt from his body. pushing you up against the wall, his lips attaching to yours. his hands roaming your body, pushing your skort down your legs as you move your feet out from the pool of fabric. "let me look after you, winner." he mumbles into your skin of your neck, undoing his jeans and pushing them down his legs.
it's messy, desperate, the speed in which yours and his underwear are thrown behind you. his big hands lifting you up, laying you down on the bench, his legs either side of it. spitting in his hands, wiping it up and down his length. his hands gripping into your hips, pulling them up to meet him as he pushes himself into you. your back arched at the sensation, choking back moans as he fucks himself into you. his signature smirk across his face, seeing you squirm under his touch. his nails digging into your skin, skin slapping against yours. your already weak body losing more energy, letting patrick take complete control of you. "that's my good girl, let me take care of you." he hums, biting his lip, keeping his groans stuck in his throat. his eyes are glued to you, watching yours roll back into your head as he lifts your hips up even higher. "feel so fucking good baby." he mumbles praise, bringing your legs up to rest against his chest. pressing wet kisses to your ankles. your hands gripping the wooden panels of the bench, head flung back as a loud whimper leaves your mouth. "shush," patrick hums, chuckling almost. "you're gonna get us caught, princess." he leans forward, contorting your body as he moves one of his hands over your mouth. your brows are furrowed, looking up into his eyes as he pounds into you harder. your mouth agape under his calloused hand, his fingers tight on your cheekbones. his grip on your hip moves to bring his hand to your cunt, smirking as he watches you squirm once his thumb starts circling your clit. he loves you like this, a whimpering, sweaty mess under his touch. it's his favourite sight in the world, watching you unravel under him. all his over thoughts disappear the second you're alone with him. he'd live in his state if humanly possible.
your body jolts, writhing under his touch as you fall over the line. moans slipping through his fingers as he works you through your high. his head flinging back, shooting his load into you as he feels you clench around him. "holy fuck." he groans, gripping onto your ankles as he lets his cum drip down from you. both whimpering at the loss of sensation as he pulls out of you, letting your legs drop down to your sides. "jesus, that was fucking insane." he mutters, chuckling slightly. "i know." you smile back, walking over to the shower to clean yourself up as he gets dressed. walking back out in a new skort and matching top, zipping up your jacket as you pick up your bags. "that was the last time." you state, lips flatlined as you look to his position by the lockers. patrick's brows furrowing, kicking himself off the metal lockers to strand up straight. "what?" he questions, his mouth slightly agape. shrugging your shoulders as you open the door to the dressing room. "i'm not second best." patrick's speechless, watching you leave. his body slumping down onto the floor, his head flinging back into the lockers with force. "fuck!"
it's a month before you see patrick again, at the next tournament you're both competing at. a stream of unanswered texts flood your phone, along with a collection of drunk voicemails left by him. swept away by the attention winning your first slam, your focus on your tennis for the time being. half way across the world, you check into your hotel, readying yourself for the players mixer being held. walking into the hotel's function room, the hall already awash with players as you strut over to the bar. "will you just fucking talk to me?" you hear the familiar voice in your ear the second he reaches you. "fuck off, patrick." you murmur, before ordering yourself a drink. "you're killing me." he groans, his voice needy. "why won't you reply to any of my texts?" he questions, as you stand by a table, holding your drink in your hands, not looking to him. patrick's following you around like a puppy, desperate for you to just look at him, let alone reply. when you finally do, look at him, his breath catches in his throat. your eyes are soft, despite the rest of your face being utterly unimpressed by him. "i told you. it's over, patrick. leave it alone." you grumble, your words like knives to his chest. "go cry to your girlfriend." you spit, bringing your glass up your lips, looking away from him. "i don't have a girlfriend." he returns, leaning on the table, facing you. he's drinking in every move you make, every time you blink, inhaling your scent after a month away from you.
that was a new development. you bite back any form of reaction to patrick's words, just placing your drink back down on the table. he opens his mouth to speak again but he's cut off by another player entering the conversation. "hey, i'm jack. can I buy you a drink?" he smiles to you, leaning on his elbow to face you. patrick rolls his eyes, watching your body contort to face the voice beckoning you. "she's already got one." patrick mumbles, before you cut him off and nod your head to the brunette on the other side of you. "yeah, i'd like that." patrick grumbles, rolling his eyes as he watches you walk over to the bar, leaning his back on the table, glancing down to your half empty drink left beside him. he thought things would be easier, seeing you again. thought you'd come running back into his arms, especially now he'd dumped his girlfriend. but you don't. you spit at him, crush him more than the month of unanswered texts did. he sighs, picking up the remainder of your drink, downing it all as he watches you laugh and lean into the guy you're with. he spends the night sulking, drinking, watching you. pushing away the people who attempt to talk to him, too focused on watching your interactions. you're hanging onto jack's arm by the end of the night, letting him lead you upstairs, to his room. all patrick can do is watch. watch you slip further away from his grasp, while drowning his sorrows in more alcohol, that he won't be thankful for tomorrow during the first round of press.
patrick's there, always there, wherever you are the whole weekend of press and promo. following you around, just to see you. even if it means seeing you flirt and shower men that aren't him in your attention. he's lost, dumfounded on how to act if you aren't with him. desperate just to hear your velvety voice, see your lips upturn in reaction to his words, not someone else. he's consumed with need, attempting to distract himself with his tennis, not that it's working. he's panting, sweat dripping from his body on the practise courts when you walk out. seeing jack on the other side of you, carrying both sets of racket bags. throwing the ball down onto the floor a few times, breathing in before serving it across the court, met with a nod of approval by his coach. his eyes coast over to you, setting up your things, ready to play against jack. you've replaced him. you're doing everything you used to with patrick, but with another man. you don't need him anymore. it doesn't help patrick's ego that jack's ranking is much higher than his own. patrick attempts to carry on with his training, ignore the distraction of you only two courts away, but he's struggling. "get it together, patrick. c'mon." his coach presses, shouting over instructions as balls keep flying his way. it's almost impossible to concentrate on anything that isn't you. especially when he hears your grunts as you hit the ball over the net. trying to snap himself out of it, out of the very impure thoughts he's thinking. thwaccckkkk! patrick serves the ball with all his frustrations, receiving eyes on him as he does. "not bad, zweig." you half smile to him across the courts. he swears his heart stops beating.
you'd both made it through the round of 32, you're sitting in the recovery pool a couple hours after the match when patrick walks in. you don't notice the door open, only noticing his presence when his smirk forms in front of you, slipping into the small pool, sitting opposite you. "i see you're enjoying the tournament." patrick teases, his arms spread over the edges of the pool. "it's only just started." you return, pulling your legs closer to your body, away from his. "i meant more the company." he pushes, that signature smirk not leaving his lips. he wants to push you, tease you, how you're pushing him. "not that it's any of your business." you scoff, titling your head over to where he sits in the water, trying to read his expression. his hands raise in defence as he sucks on his teeth. "are you gonna be like this with me for the rest of the tour?" his tone becoming more serious as he gulps. his heart rate quickening, realising how close your body is, in such little clothing. he hadn't been alone with you for over a month, his teeth chewing on the inside of his cheek, holding back his urge to reach out and touch you. you don't respond, just rolling your eyes and looking away from him. "tell me you don't want me and i'll leave you alone." the words leave patrick's lips before he can even realise what he's said. his stomach in knots the second he realises what he's proposed, he wouldn't be able to stay away even if you did tell him that. "i don't want you." the words hit his chest before his ears, his gaze on you intense as his bottom lip is moves between his teeth. patrick's brows furrow, just looking at you as his body floods with emotion. "you don't mean that." he chokes out. all you do is stare back at him, your face unreadable as you do. the water splashes onto your chest as patrick abruptly exists the pool, wrapping the towel around his waist as he looks down to you, your eyes lifting to look up to him. your gaze still soft, as it always is with patrick. "whatever." he mumbles, pushing the door open as he scrambles out of the room.
you distract yourself with tennis, or attempt to. lying to yourself that you don't want patrick. that you don't want to run to him, to be with him, to be his. if it wasn't tennis you used as a distraction, it was jack. he knew your head was elsewhere, so was his, so it worked. you were making your way through the tournament, into the round of 16, as was patrick. a lot of eyes obviously on you after winning the us open, your ranking moving up as well as the media circus that followed you. 'new tennis power couple?' was the article you were sent, with pictures of you and jack attached. rolling your eyes as you scrolled mindlessly through the so called news site. laughing about it with jack as you joined up with him for lunch, hearing the whispers around the hall as you sat together. patrick sat alone, pushing around the food on his plate, seeing the updates come out about you and jack. he should have known not to believe it, he knows how the media can be. you're barely even touching jack in the pictures, he doesn't know you like patrick does. but it doesn't stop the pit in his stomach as he watches the two of you together. it's only when he's alone in his hotel room that he texts you, adding another message to the number of texts he'd sent over the course of the month.
patrick: i know i said i'd back off but just tell me it's not true
sighing at notification on your phone, the bright screen lighting up the empty room. you try to fight off the urge to reply, knowing exactly what he's referencing. eventually, your head wins, turning the phone off and going to downstairs to the hotel lobby, your next match wasn't until the day after tomorrow. the read receipt highlighted on patrick's phone as he sits on the chat. throwing the phone across the room after a while of sitting there waiting. after throwing a shirt on his body, he wandered down to the hotel lobby. you're already down there, sat alone with a drink in hand. patrick quietly orders himself a drink and sits down across from you. "please, just talk to me." he sighs, leaning closer to you over the table. "patrick, i-" your defences are down, too tired, too frustrated. "i know i hurt you, okay? i'll never forgive myself for that, but i miss you." he babbles, his hand inching closer towards yours. "i'm so sorry, i want you, okay, just you." he whispers, his words coming out more like sobs than fully formed sentences. you're about to open your mouth to reply, when jack appears in front of you. you'd texted him to meet you down here. looking to patrick before back up to jack, standing up to kiss his lips. it was a low blow, you knew that, but patrick deserved it. he'd ruined your self-respect, you earned your right to serve his karma to him. patrick doesn't say anything, just watches. watches your hands wrap in his hair, watches your body melt against his, watches his heart get ripped out of his chest. you make eye contact with patrick as you push jack away towards the elevators, his face emotionless.
it was fate. horrible, twisted fate that patrick would draw jack in the quarter finals. everyone was backing jack to win, he was on paper the better player. more pragmatic, less chaotic than patrick. but patrick knew he had a point to prove. his eyes immediately found you in the stands at he walks out onto the court, his smirk present as he sets down his things. you're sat with a few of the friends you've made during the tour, barely able to focus on the conversation around you, eyes darting between patrick and jack sitting before you on the court. thwaccckkkk! your nails are half bitten off by the end of the first set, your heart in your chest at the end of the second. 6-2, 6-4. one set each. patrick was playing more erratically than usual, his curls slick to his forehead, sweat dripping down his chin. thwaccckkkk! patrick's eyes dart to you. "game, set, match, zweig." patrick's body slumps to the floor, his arms resting on his knees, catching his breath before walking across the court to shake jack's hand. his eyes dart up to you again, to your empty seat. his eyes search for you, catching a glimpse of you exiting the stands. slumping down onto the floor again, thinking how it didn't mean anything. his win, to you, met nothing.
it's 10pm when you hear the knocking on your hotel door, jumping up from your place on the bed, opening the door to patrick. ready to close the door on him before he barges in. "i fucking won, and you just leave?" his voice already raised, facing you as you close the door. "so what?" you scoff, arms crossed against your chest. "i won, i beat him." his tone angry, his chest already pounding. "i didn't realise you were playing for my attention." your words are sharp, cutting through to him. "of course i fucking was!" patrick shouts, his body only two foot away from your own. "everything i do is to get your attention." his voice still raised. your lips are flat, just staring at him, but eyes still soft. "you are killing me." he almost whispers. "patrick, this was never going to end well, just look at how we started." your voice starts to increase in volume, fed up of this wounded puppy display patrick is showing. "i don't want it to end at all." you're both shouting now, not caring about who can hear through the hotel walls. "this is fucking ridiculous, i'm not your girlfriend, never fucking was." you spit your words out, arms dropping to your sides. "i'm not the only one who was cheating, you know? or did you forget that when you jumped on your high horse?" patrick's words are pointed, his body stepping closer towards you. "yeah, but i actually dumped my boyfriend! for you, patrick!"
he doesn't know how, he doesn't remember telling his body to move, but he definitely doesn't mind that it did. his hands are cupped around your face, his lips smashed into yours. you push yourself off of him, looking into his eyes before immediately crashing your lips back onto his. it's messy, tongues slipping over each others, your hands grabbing at the fabric around his waist. "tell me you want me." patrick mumbles into your mouth, his hands moving to grip at the hairs on your scalp. a grumble falls from you, your tongue pushing further into patrick's mouth before he pulls your head away by your hair. forcing your eyes to look to his, his fist balled around your hair. "tell me you fucking want me." you want to punch the smirk off his face, your breath heavy as you stare into his half-lidded eyes. "i want you." he pulls your head back further. "tell me again." your mouth agape, a quiet whimper escaping you. "i want you." you moan out, his grip loosening as his lips attach to yours again, only parting to pull your t-shirt over your head. "good girl." he whispers, as your fingers pull his shirt off his body. it's moments before patrick reaches down, hooking your thighs under his grip, lifting you up and walking over to the bed. his lips only detaching from yours when he throws your body down onto the mattress. patrick's eyes are dark as he crawls over your body, his lips kissing up from your stomach before he reaches your neck. propped up on your elbows as his mouth nips and sucks at the base of your neck, quiet hums of pleasure from you rush to his ears like it's the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. "missed your skin." he mumbles against your jaw, wrapping his lips around your earlobe. "shut up." you groan, your head angling to expose more of your neck to him.
"oh, you wanna be a little brat do you?" his evil smirk shows again, fingers digging into the sides of your wrists as he pins them up above your head. he manoeuvres to capture your wrists with one of his hands as the other pushes your shorts down to your knees, slipping his hand into your panties, groaning as he feels your wetness. using his knee to push your legs apart, your shorts bunching at your ankles as you free your feet from the pool of fabric. "so wet for me already." he teases, his fingers sliding through your folds as he starts circling your clit. patrick's mouth sucking on the skin of your collarbone as you struggle trying to free your arms from his grip. all he does is push your wrists further into the mattress, his fingers digging into your skin. his eyes glare into yours as he watches every expression you make, not daring to look away as the pace of his fingers speeds up. "mmm, so close," you mumble, your back arching before patrick rips his fingers away, letting go of your wrists at the same time. "what the fuck." you grumble, a slight pout on your lips, only causing an evil chuckle from patrick. "you don't get to cum until i'm inside you." he smirks, ripping your panties down your legs before standing up to pull his shorts down his legs along with his underwear. "you're so fucking annoying." you continue complaining as patrick crawls over your body again, leaning down to whisper in your ear. "why are you so desperate to fuck me then?"
your mouth opens to reply, words inching out as patrick's hand wraps around your throat. "shut the fuck up." he smirks, his fingers digging into the sides of your neck as you fight for breath. your hand moves to grip as his wrist, watching as patrick lets a glob of spit drip from his mouth down onto your cunt. sitting himself up on his knees, your thighs resting against his as his free hand drifts to rub his cock against you. smearing his spit into your wetness, teasing your entrance as he pushes himself in an inch. your head pushing back into the mattress, eyes fluttering closed as you attempt to ask him for more. "look at me." he orders, his eyes dark and half-lidded as you eventually look to him. "good girl." he groans as he slides himself in fully. patrick finally removes his hand from your throat, moving to squeeze the flesh of your thighs as he fucks you without mercy. his nails cutting into your skin as moans echo around the room, his body falling on top of yours as you clench around him. his forehead pressed against yours, open mouthed kisses pressed to your jaw. your arms wrapped around his body, clawing at his shoulder blades as your legs move to trap his body against yours. sucking bruises onto patrick's neck as his hips smash against yours repeatedly. he groans as he slides out you, flipping your body over and pulling your ass up against him. barely being able to register what's happened by the time his cock slides into you again, scrambling to prop yourself up onto all fours. thwaccckkkk! the sound of his open palm against your ass sends a shiver down your arching spine, as loud moans escape your throat. patrick spanks the flesh of your ass again before grabbing a handful of your hair, pulling your chest up closer to his body. patrick's grunts fill your ears as the hand on your ass reaches below you, his fingers drawing circles against your clit. his teeth nipping at the skin on your shoulder as he pulls you closer, your back flush against his chest. patrick can tell you're close to the edge, feeling the way you clench around him and the volume of your moans getting louder.
"cum for me baby, be a good little girl and cum for me." patrick mumbles against your skin, licking the skin of your neck. his words force you to let go, an almost scream leaving your lips as your body nearly crumbles at the sensation. patrick's grip on your hair keeping you upright, humming into your neck. he lets you ride out your high before pushing your chest down into the mattress, his big hands gripping at the sides of your body under your arms as he fastens his pace. your face near enough buried in the mattress as you turn to try and look up to him behind you, patrick groaning louder as you do. "so fucking pretty like this." he murmurs, nails digging into your flesh as he slams his hips against your ass once more, filling your insides with his load. "jesus fucking christ." patrick groans as his body falls flat on top of you, panting as he places sloppy kisses to your back. feeling his load start to drip down you as he slides out and falls to the side of you.
your bodies are bruised and scratched, staring into each others eyes as you both attempt to return your breathing to a normal pace. patrick leans over, kissing your lips sweetly as you manoeuvre onto your side. "i take it that means you and jack aren't a thing, right? or did you just cheat on another boyfriend?" patrick almost laughs at himself, as you swat his arm. "you're such an asshole." you laugh, shaking your head at him. this is what he'd missed. your laugh, the way you looked at him, you being the only person in the world who could put him in his place. the way you put up with him, how you always knew what to say. moving to brush his curls off his forehead, letting your fingers rest against his cheek, slowly caressing his skin. "i meant what i said, that i just want you." patrick whispers, his hand snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him. "i know." you smile, your thumb still rubbing back and forth on his face. the silence is comfortable, eyes locked on each other, peaceful. waking up the next morning, it's as though everything has fallen back into place. patrick joins you training, returns to his regular position opposite you on the practise courts. there's no conversations about your relationship, patrick's too scared to ask. too scared to question, he doesn't want to risk pushing you away again.
thwaccckkkk! sitting in the box with patrick's coaches and the rest of his team, watching patrick play in his first final of his professional career. you'd unfortunately been knocked out during the semi-finals, meaning the rest of your time during the tournament was spent helping patrick prepare. you could tell patrick was nervous, despite no one else picking up on it. to the average eye, he was calm, playing as chaotically controlled as usual. sweat was dripping from every inch of his skin, his black tank stuck to his chest as he rolled the racket between his hands. patrick was a set up against his opponent, he'd won six games to four. his eyes glance over to the box, listening to his coach's advice, letting his eyes wander to you as he does. the silence is almost eery, not that he wasn't used to it during matches, but the silence before serves is when he really considers his surroundings. he's in the final, his first final. he's a set up, he could actually win this. you're a wreck, anxiously watching from the stands as patrick wins another game. a smirk rushes onto your face, watching patrick hit a tweener, to win the match. jumping up to your feet with his team as the crowd erupts. it's as though patrick doesn't register it, until he looks at you. his racket drops from his hands, falling onto his knees, letting the wash of emotion rush over him. he shakes his opponent's hand before security bring him through the crowd to his team. engulfed in hugs by his coaches, shouting how proud they are of him before he escapes their grip. moving down to you, his arms wrapping around you as he lifts you up to the air. "i knew you'd win." you giggle into his ear as he places you down onto the ground, his teethy grin not leaving his face. his hands stay wrapped around you as his lips crash into yours, in the middle of the crowd, in front of cameras from every angle. "i can't believe you just did that." you smile, blush creeping onto your cheeks as you feel every set of eyes on you. "what? i can't kiss my girl after winning my first title?" patrick chuckles, hands pulling you flush against him. "oh, your girl, huh?" you laugh, hands snaking around his neck, his lips grazing yours as he speaks. "you know you're mine."
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qiu-yan · 1 day
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3 6 7 11 16 20 25
bro is trying to get me killed lmao /s
choose violence ask game
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr:
this shit
6. which ship fans are the most annoying?
gonna be honest here, the single most annoying part of the MDZS fandom is that one hyperspecific sort of wang and xian stan who insists on shitting on not only the other characters, but also other wang and xian fans who ship the characters in ways they don't approve of. this kind of stan can not only be relied on to have the worst possible takes on everyone ranging from jin guangyao to jiang cheng, they can also be relied on to harass other wang and xian fans simply for putting wang on the bottom. fun times.
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
surprisingly, no one yet. sometimes i feel the hater urge to dunk on the morally-pure version of wei wuxian that the diehard wei wuxian stannies have collectively hallucinated, but i still find the wei wuxian from canon to be quite compelling.
11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered
the "canon jiang cheng" and "canon jc" tags. everyone stfu
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
"morally pure wei wuxian who did nothing wrong ever." to me, wei wuxian's hubris, his unique capability for inventing new kinds of cruelty, his failure to think of the consequences of his actions, his tendencies to run away from negative feelings, and his ultimate failure to protect the people he was trying to protect, are what make him a compelling character to me. these flaws in parallel with his courage, kindness, stalwart moral compass, and genuine love make him interesting to me. so i don't quite understand fans who instead insist on erasing all the morally grey and highly interesting stuff he did in favor of insisting he did nothing wrong ever.
20. part of canon you found tedious or boring
not quite what the question is asking, but i found the actual wang and xian romance in the original novel to be a bit lacking. mainly because (as other people have said already) a lot of the romantic development happened when lan wangji was drunk. at the very least, i wanted to see lan wangji's reactions to his various drunken adventures once he sobered up the next day, and i'm rather disappointed we never got to see that.
furthermore, on wei wuxian's end, it did kind of feel like wei wuxian was using this exciting new romance to distract himself from his past problems, even though it also seemed like he didn't actually know all that much about lan wangji. the only version of the romance that makes sense to me is the one where wei wuxian was already into lan wangji (subconsciously or consciously) in his first life; otherwise, wei wuxian falling in love with lan wangji during his second life, when he's yet to process any of the shit that happened in his first life, feels too much like him running away from his problems with a guy he believes will validate all his decisions. meanwhile, on lan wangji's end, i feel like the novel just did not give us a lot to work with in regards to his character. so it feels like, if you want to be a fan of lan wangji, you have to do a lot of the legwork of building up his personality yourself.
what also disappointed me a bit about wang and xian, as well as lan wangji's character arc itself, is that lan wangji is never really challenged on a moral-dilemma level in the same way that many other characters are challenged by the story. how do i explain this...alright, i'll put it this way. i've been brainrotted about madohomu (madoka magica) since i was in middle school. and that's partially because i know for a fact that, if homura was put in the trolley problem and had to choose between [killing 5 strangers] and [allowing madoka to die], she would choose to kill those 5 strangers to save madoka. but after reading MDZS, i realized i legitimately did not know what lan wangji would do in such a moral dilemma. because MDZS equates [being morally righteous] with [supporting wei wuxian], lan wangji is never placed in a dilemma where he has to choose between sacrificing wei ying and doing something the audience would think of as unforgivable.
these are just my own hyperspecific tastes, though.
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
gonna put my hater hat on for a second, but i kind of roll my eyes at the jiang cheng haters complaining about how jiang cheng stans keep posting in the "canon jiang cheng" tag. dude, if it bothers you that much, just block the jiang cheng stans. then things will be peaceful in your favorite tag again.
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I was reading through some of the recent asks on this blog, and I was reminded of this time a couple months back when I was explaining to my brother (who knows jack shit about ace stuff) how I feel like I’ve learned how to put myself in an allo perspective out of necessity, and how it stings when he acts like sex appeal is the singular reason someone might enjoy something.
He seemed a bit offended. He told me that he believes that, as an allosexual, he could never understand an ace perspective, just as he could never understand a female or transgender perspective, and thus he felt it would be disrespectful to assume otherwise.
And like… sure. You don’t know what it’s like being aroace in a world that constantly conflates and centers romantic and sexual relationships, but is it really that hard to imagine how an ace person might feel about something? Maybe I’m just biased, but extrapolating the way you feel about people you don’t find sexually attractive to everyone doesn’t seem like a very complicated thought exercise.
I love my brother, but he can be real insensitive, especially when it comes to my asexuality. I don’t think I’d personally call him an aphobe, but he definitely has internalized aphobia that he’s doing nothing to fix.
To be honest, I think the main issue here is accepting you'll never truly understand vs assuming everyone thinks like you by default... It's not the same thing. Sure, it's fair to consider that it would be disrespectful to assume you'll ever understand such a unique life experience that you don't share... But that has nothing to do with acting like your own experience is the only one that'll ever be relevant, and that everyone shares it. So... I'm not sure I see his point.
Yeah, it's very possible, even just basic reality, that you'll never understand a life experience you don't share yourself. But that doesn't mean you can't hear out a person who tells you they live through that experience, and you can't consider said experience and be respectful of it (...tbh that's kinda what we have to do with straight people and allosexual people all the time ourselves, isn't it). If it meant that, we'd still be very much behind as a society. I'm really sorry you're going through that... Always reminds me how blessed I am that my own bros are as supportive as they are. I'll never take that for granted.
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elysiaheaven · 19 hours
Text
𝐋𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞-𝟏𝟕-(The Fox's wedding)
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You walked through the bustling streets of the Luofu, you adjusted the fox mask on your face, feeling the familiar weight settle over your features. Jiaoqiu glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow at the sudden reappearance of your mask.
"Why are you wearing that again?" he asked, his voice laced with curiosity. "I thought you were done with it for now."
You laughed lightly, shrugging as you turned your head toward him. "Oh, this? I just feel like a chipmunk," you said with a grin, your playful tone making light of the mask. "It suits the vibe, don't you think?"
Jiaoqiu gave you a skeptical look, his lips pressing into a thin line as if he didn't believe a word you were saying. "A chipmunk?" He repeated the word as if testing it on his tongue, clearly unconvinced. "You don't even know what that means, do you?"
You chuckled, sidestepping his question. "Of course I do! It's all about attitude and style. You wouldn't understand," you teased, sticking your tongue out behind the mask. "Besides, it gives me an air of mystery."
Jiaoqiu sighed, shaking his head but not pushing the subject further. He knew there was more behind the mask—something you weren't willing to share just yet. Still, he decided to let it go for now, even though the tension between you two simmered just beneath the surface.
The two of you continued walking, the lively sounds of merchants and travelers filling the air. You felt a slight pang of guilt as you kept the mask on, knowing you weren't being fully honest with him. But hiding behind the mask had always been a way for you to protect yourself, especially when it came to the more vulnerable parts of your heart.
After a moment, Jiaoqiu spoke again, his voice quieter this time. "You don't have to wear it around me, you know."
You paused for a second, feeling his words settle heavily in your chest. "I know," you replied softly, not meeting his eyes. "But sometimes, it's just easier this way."
He walk in front of you. Took your mask away.
Why! Now! STOP!
Tears streamed down your face as you stared at Jiaoqiu, your body trembling as you tried to compose yourself. You reached for your mask, the one you wore when you felt too exposed, too vulnerable, and quickly put it on, hiding behind its cold exterior.
"I enjoyed doing what I did," you said, but your voice cracked under the weight of the lie. You hated it—everything about your past, the choices you made, the lives you hurt. Yet, here you were, trying to convince yourself, convince him, that none of it mattered.
Convince yourself you hurted them!
You did all of those.
Lie, Lie and Lie...So this kind-hearted fox won't leave you to live.
You couldn't..
Jiaoqiu's sharp eyes narrowed at you, catching the quiver in your voice. "If your voice breaks, you're lying," he said softly, but with a firmness that cut through the air between you. He stepped closer, his hand gently touching the mask's edge. "What happened in your past?" he asked, his voice gentler this time. "Tell me."
You looked away, unable to meet his gaze, the words sticking in your throat. "It's no use," you muttered, swallowing down the emotions that clawed at your heart. "Talking won't change anything. It's too late for that."
Jiaoqiu stayed silent, his frustration evident, but he didn't push further. He knew that whatever was haunting you was deeper than words could fix. You pulled away from his touch, your hands trembling as you turned your back to him.
  You couldn't face the past—not yet. You needed to bury it a little longer, hide behind your mask and move forward, pretending everything was fine. "There's no point in staying here."
Jiaoqiu sighed, knowing you were deflecting. His eyes softened, but he didn't stop you. "Fine," he said quietly. "But this conversation isn't over. You can't run from this forever."
You walked ahead, the silence between you and Jiaoqiu felt suffocating. The mask on your face was a barrier you couldn't seem to lower, even as every step felt heavier.
"Y/n," Jiaoqiu's voice broke the silence, and you stopped, your heart racing, knowing what he was going to say next. "I need you to open up to me."
You didn't turn around, your hands clenched into fists at your sides. His request was so simple, yet it terrified you. He stepped closer, and you could feel the warmth of his presence behind you.
"You can't keep running from whatever it is that's eating you up inside. I see it, Y/n," Jiaoqiu's voice softened, a strange mix of care and frustration. "If you don't trust me, if you don't open up... how can I help you? How can I even begin to understand?"
You closed your eyes beneath the mask, biting your lip to keep yourself from breaking. The pain you had been carrying, the guilt, the darkness—it was like a storm swirling in your chest. "I'm not... ready," you whispered, barely audible. "I can't... I don't even know where to start."
Jiaoqiu moved in front of you, his hand gently lifting your chin so you had to face him. His eyes bore into yours, filled with an emotion you weren't ready to face. "Start with me," he said quietly. "Start with the truth. I'm not asking you to spill everything all at once, but you need to let me in. Just a little."
You shuddered, feeling your resolve crumble under his gaze. The weight of his words pressed down on you, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could crack. "You won't understand..." Your voice broke again, the mask doing little to hide the tremor.
"Try me," Jiaoqiu said, his tone unwavering. "I'm here, aren't I? Even after everything, I'm still here. So stop pretending like you're alone in this."
"...................!!!!!!!"
Your heart pounded as you felt the familiar wave of fear and guilt rise within you, but instead of surrendering to it, you forced a twisted smile onto your face. The mask was back—this time, not on your face but in your words, in the way you carried yourself. You laughed, a hollow sound, and turned away from Jiaoqiu.
"Ah, there it is," you said with a mocking tone, stepping forward with a sway in your hips. "You really fell for it, didn't you? All that crying and pretending to be broken... so easy to get your sympathy." You tossed your head back with another cruel laugh, refusing to look at him. "God, you're so gullible."
Jiaoqiu stood frozen behind you, his eyes narrowing as he tried to understand the sudden shift. His expression was a mix of confusion and something darker, like he was searching for the truth behind your words. "What are you saying?" he asked, his voice calm but with an edge of warning.
You smirked, turning just enough so he could see the coldness in your gaze. "I'm saying it was all an act. The tears, the confession. I knew exactly what to say to make you pity me." You shrugged, nonchalant, though your insides were twisting painfully. "And it worked like a charm, didn't it?"
Jiaoqiu's eyes hardened, his jaw tightening as he watched you carefully. He wasn't buying it, not entirely. But you could see the doubt forming in his mind, the uncertainty creeping into his features. It hurt to see, but you couldn't stop now. You had to push him away—had to make him believe you were the monster you always feared you were.
You walked ahead, turning your back on him, keeping your head high. "I can't wait to kill you, Jiaoqiu," you said, your voice sickeningly sweet, like it was all a joke. "Maybe not today, but soon. It's going to be so easy."
The silence behind you stretched painfully, and for a moment, you almost stopped—almost turned around to take it all back. But you didn't. You couldn't. You were too far gone in this act, and the pain inside you was too deep.
But he didn't respond the way you expected. No sharp retort, no anger in his voice. Instead, Jiaoqiu's voice was calm, steady. "You're lying."
Your steps faltered, but you didn't turn around.
"You think I can't tell?" His voice was closer now, soft but certain. "You're trying to push me away because you're scared. But this—this isn't who you are, Y/n."
You clenched your fists, nails biting into your palms. "What do you know?" you spat, but the venom in your voice was faltering, cracking.
"I know enough," Jiaoqiu said, his hand brushing your arm lightly. "I know that everything you just said is a lie. You don't want to kill me. You're scared of losing me."
You laughed, a wild and bitter sound, pushing away the tenderness of the moment with a cruel edge. "You're an idiot," you sneered, the words coming out sharper than you intended, but you leaned into it, masking the pain in your chest. "Such a damn fool. I hope the worst for you." You stepped closer, grabbing the front of his shirt, and pulled him into a kiss—harsh, needy, and far from loving. It was filled with desperation, as though you were trying to convince him, or maybe yourself, that you were still in control.
Jiaoqiu's body tensed against yours, and when you pulled away, you saw the confusion in his eyes, the shock. "What... what are you doing?" His voice wavered slightly, not with fear but with a kind of disbelief. He searched your face, like he was trying to find the real you beneath the mask you had thrown on.
You laughed again, leaning back as you waved your hand dismissively. "The lust, Jiaoqiu. That's all it ever was," you said, voice dripping with false amusement. "That's why you care, right? Why you're so obsessed with me?" You tilted your head, a twisted smile curling your lips. "I mean, who wouldn't be? That's all this is—a game to feed your desire. And when you're done, I'll just kill you."
You laughed, the sound hollow and bitter, though it masked the trembling inside. "You're such an idiot, Jiaoqiu. An idiot for even trying to understand me." You pushed against his chest, but it wasn't to break free—it was to pull him closer, as if mocking your own pain. "I hope so many bad things happen to you. I hope you regret everything."
Jiaoqiu's face twisted, a flicker of something dark flashing in his eyes as he stared at you, unsure whether to believe the cruelty in your words or the pain you were trying to hide.
"I can't wait to kill you," you repeated, your voice breaking as you forced yourself to smile, to laugh. "Can't wait." The laughter felt foreign, bitter, choking you as it tumbled out. You moved closer to him, your breath hot against his skin. "Now kiss me again. Like it's all about lust. That's all it is, right?"
He hesitated for a moment, the weight of your words sinking in. But then, as if something inside him snapped, he grabbed your waist and pulled you into him, his lips crashing onto yours. You kissed him back with the same intensity, frantic, desperate to make him believe your lie, even though it hurt more than you could bear.
You cried as you kissed him, your tears wetting your cheeks, but you laughed in between, trying to mask the truth. "See? It's all lust," you whispered against his lips, laughing even as the sobs wracked your body. "That's all it's ever been."
Jiaoqiu pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours, his face tight with frustration and something else you couldn't place. He cupped your face, his thumb wiping away your tears even as he kissed you again, trying to silence the lies you kept feeding him.
Jiaoqiu's lips crashed against yours, his kiss rough, trying to shut you up. But you kept laughing, each kiss making the laughter more manic. "It's lust, Jiaoqiu! All lust!" you giggled between breaths, your voice rising with each word, mocking the bond you once shared. You could see the conflict in his eyes as he kissed you, but it only made you laugh harder. He was falling for your lies, the very lies you'd built around yourself like a shield.
"More lies on top of lies," you whispered against his lips, your laughter hollow and sharp. "It's so easy to fool you." Your laughter filled the small alley, echoing off the walls as if you were trying to drown out your own emotions.
He didn't stop. His grip tightened on your waist, and his kisses became more desperate, as if he were trying to make sense of the chaos you were creating. He could feel something was wrong, but he couldn't see past the mask you'd put on. Your tears mixed with your laughter, the contradictions within you swirling into a mess that you couldn't untangle anymore.
"Lies... so many lies," you kept saying, your voice shaking now, the laughter sounding forced, like it hurt to keep it going. "I'm so good at this, aren't I?" You kissed him again, biting his lip just enough to make it sting, as if punishing yourself for every word.
Jiaoqiu pulled back slightly, his breathing ragged, his eyes searching your face for something—anything real. "Stop this," he muttered, his voice low but firm, as if he didn't know whether to be angry or heartbroken. "Stop lying."
You laughed again, louder this time, pushing him back playfully, though the ache in your chest grew heavier. "What's the matter, Jiaoqiu? Can't handle the truth? Or is it that you can't handle the lies?" You laughed, but it was more of a sob now, your body trembling as you forced out the sound.
You wanted him to see through it, to call you out, to make it stop. But instead, he kissed you again, and the bitterness of it all consumed you. "Lust... lies... lust," you chanted between kisses, the weight of your own deception crushing you inside.
You grabbed Jiaoqiu's face, pulling him closer, your hands trembling as they cupped his head. Your laughter was broken, the sound manic and desperate as you choked out, "It's all lust, Jiaoqiu! Just lust!" You laughed, but your voice cracked, betraying the real emotion underneath.
Your fingers dug into his scalp, and his eyes locked onto yours, searching for something, anything that would make sense of your words. But all you could do was laugh, the sound twisted and hollow. Tears streamed down your face as you clung to him, your laughter bordering on hysterical, the pain in your chest threatening to tear you apart.
"It's all lust!" you shouted again, your voice raw as the tears continued to fall. But the laughter wouldn't stop, even though it hurt, even though you knew it wasn't true. You laughed like you could drown out the truth, like you could bury the pain under your lies.
Jiaoqiu's hands gripped your wrists, trying to steady you, his eyes filled with confusion and pain. "Stop," he whispered, his voice hoarse, almost pleading. But you couldn't stop. You didn't know how anymore.
"It's just lust, you idiot!" you cried out, forcing a grin, trying to convince him, trying to convince yourself. But the laughter gave way to sobs, and you collapsed into him, burying your face in his chest as you broke down completely.
Your shoulders shook as the sobs wracked your body, and Jiaoqiu held you tight, his arms wrapping around you, no words left to say. He didn't care about the lies you told. He could see past them now, see the torment in your eyes, the pain you couldn't hide anymore.
Your voice was barely a whisper now, muffled against his chest. "It's all lies..."
23 notes · View notes
reallychaoticwoo · 3 days
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May I request a yeosang x fan reader smut. Where she goes to Seoul to go to a concert. But she meets Yeosang the day before and she freaks out like panic attack mode. So he takes her to his dorm. Has her shower and change into some of his clothes and it gets him hard and she never had experienced sex or even masturbate so she doesn't understand what she is feeling so he walks her through it all from fingerings to squirting to oral to eventually full on sex. And as they finish she notices blood and gets worried so Yeosang calms her down and such?
⛓️I really enjoyed writing this one! Im still not fully confident in my smut writing abilities, but i think this one turned out better than the last one. Hopefully, this meets your expectations🖤⛓️
✨️Sex Ed in Seoul✨️
📝Word Count: 3,820
❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader
⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, fingering/oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), squirting, inexperienced reader, experienced Yeo, panick attack, lots of smut and a sprinkle of fluff (im a sucker for a happy ending)🖤 Please lmk if I missed anything!
‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️
🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤
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Your plane just landed, and you are rushing through the bustling airport to get your bags and find where you'll be staying for the night. Not that you haven't already booked a hotel, but you've never been to Seoul before, so you weren't really sure how to get around the city.
Grabbing your bags, you made your way out of the airport and through the busy streets. It must be obvious to everyone that you're not from here. Aside from your difference in fashion and your obviously American choice of luggage, you were looking around at your surroundings like a kid in a candy store. The locals seemed rather nice, giving you small smiles as you passed by. After about 15 minutes of mindless wondering, you made your way to a rather cozy looking coffee shop.
Sitting down with your large luggage bags next to you, you made yourself comfortable and started to Google Maps how to get to the hotel you'd be staying at. You were so ready to make it to where you'd be staying for the next few days. Wanting to unpack, shower, and set out your concert fit for tomorrow. You'd been saving up since the last tour, your heart set on making it to Seoul, and you finally had.
Having been so engrossed in your googling and your thoughts of what tomorrow would be like, you completely missed the man who just sat down next to you. He looked really familiar but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It's not like you know anyone from here, minus the idols, which, let's be honest, you don't actually know. That's when you saw it. The distinct birthmark peaking out from under his mask, next to his eye. 'No way. There's no fucking way that's him. Do I say something? Do I ignore him and pretend like my bias isn't sitting right next to me??' Your mind was racing almost as fast as your heart.
"So, what brings you to town?" Omg, he's talking to you. You're not sure if it's fear, embarrassment, butterflies, or sheer panic, but your heart is beating so fast you could swear it's about to pound itself right out of your chest. Right now, your chest seems like it's the tightest it's ever been.
"Hey, are you okay?" He looked at you with concern written all over his face. "Uh- I- i- I'm so sorry," quickly trying to gather your things, tears starting to well in your eyes, you knocked your coffee over. Spilling all over the table, floor, and your clothes. 'No... fuck, this can't be happening right now.' The tears no longer resting in your eyes but flooding down your cheeks. Your breathing uneven and fast, your body trembling all over.
Yeosang was quick to action, notifying an employee nearby that there was a spill and apologizing for the hasty exit the two of you would be making. Grabbing your hand and your luggage, he pulled you outside and into a black car that was parked at the back of the coffee shop. Once the two of you were secure in the car, he checked to make sure you were buckled properly. He held your hand is his, pulling down his mask. "Hey, hey, take some deep breaths.. everything is okay." Barely able to comprehend what just happened, what was currently happening, you leaned forward, putting your head in between your legs, trying to steady your breathing. Rubbing small circles on your back with his free hand, his other one gently brushing your hand is his, he repeated, "Everything is okay. You're doing great, so continue to take deep breaths and let your body relax."
Not even 10 minutes later, the car had come to a stop. Extending his hand out to you, Yeosang helped you out of the vehicle, grabbing your luggage once again, before waving the driver off. You had gained some control over your breathing, but the feeling of your chest shattering inside you was still evident. Walking inside the large building in front of you, he effortlessly navigated you through the halls and to a room. The room was stunning, white walls, soft gray bedding, a few plants hanging or sitting in various spots, a small bookshelf against the wall filled with some of your favorite novels and a sleek gray desk without a single thing misplaced. It felt comfortable, like a safe haven.
"This is my room, I hope you don't mind the messy bed, I wasn't really expecting to bring someone home today," a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping him. "Uh, I figured you could use a shower as they always help calm my nerves, and I'm not really sure where you're staying, so I brought you here. I hope that's okay?" You tried to look grateful, but everything inside of you was stuck in the limbo of uncertainty. Giving your best polite smile and a nod, he continued, "Well, the bathroom is over here, I'll set some clean clothes and a towel in there for you. Please take all the time you need in there. I'll be in here when you get out." Grabbing a towel and some of his comfiest clothes, he placed them neatly on the counter before returning to the room. "All set. I'll see you whenever you're ready."
Standing under the warm water, letting it embrace your skin, you finally let your body release its tension. Your shoulders dropping and your back slouching ever so slightly. He was right. A shower is just what you need to help calm your nerves. After about an hour of regaining yourself, you finally left the warmth and comfort of the shower. Drying yourself off and putting on the clothes Yeosang left out for you, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. "You've got this. He's just a human, like any other human out there. Just be yourself and don't panic." After your whispered self pep talk, you finally made your way out of the bathroom.
Perking up as soon as he heard the handle to the bathroom door move, he asked, "Are you feeling any better?" You smiled at him, an actual smile, and oh, it was a beautiful smile. "I am. Thank you for helping me out. You really didn't have to do that." He just shook his head at you, smiling kindly. "I did, though. I couldn't just let you go through that alone." His kind smile seemed to change for a split second with a different emotion you weren't able to quite place. Trying not to read too much into it, you sat on the foot of the bed facing him. "Well, I'm grateful for your kindness." Your smile was truly breathtaking. In fact, you sitting there on his bed, in his clothes, it was mesmerizing. Like all of his daydreams had come to life before him.
He'd always imagined himself with a girl who was soft and kind. Someone who would look like a doll in his clothing, whose smile would make his world pause in an instant. With someone like you. Feeling guilty for his wondering mind, he decided to ask again, "So, I asked earlier, but I never got my answer. What are you in town for?" Blush spreading across your face, you looked down, "Funny, you should ask.. I Uh, I actually came for your concert tomorrow. I've been a fan of you all for a while now, and it's my first time being able to come out to Seoul to see you perform." A wide grin spread across his face. How did he not notice you were an atiny? He was so worried about your impending panic attack that he completely failed to remember the fact you were wearing a tour shirt. "I'm glad you were able to make it! I must know, who's your bias? Maybe I could set up a personal meet and greet for you!" Fidgeting with your thumbs, you shot him a shy smile. "Oh, there's no need for that." He was puzzled, to say the least. What atiny wouldn't want to have a one on one with their bias? "Why's that?" He needed to understand why someone would pass up that opportunity. Most fans would (and have) fight for even a minute of time with their favorite member. "Well, uh, you kind of already have. You're my bias." There was no hiding the fact that your face was the same shade as a tomato. Did you really just tell him that?  "Oh? Oh! Well, I'm glad I was the one that you ran into today then." That was it. You're literally the embodiment of what he's been dreaming of, and you like him too??
He wonders if you feel as soft as he's always imagined. What you sound like when you're being worshipped. What you'd feel like if he ever got to make you his own. His pants were tightening at the thoughts. Trying to shift his position, he leaned back further on the bed, pulling one of his legs up to try and hide his hardening length. Unluckily for him, or maybe it was lucky? You noticed that his pants seemed to have a tent that wasn't there before.
"Uh, should I, um, leave you to, uh, take care of that?" You weren't uncomfortable, but nervous? You didn't know much about sex. You were a virgin, hell, you've never even touched yourself. Yet the sight of him, even if only for a split second, sent tingles down your spine. "No, uh, I'm sorry. I'm not usually one to be so, uh, easily excited. I just, well, never mind." You cocked your head at him, your eyes questioning what he meant. Catching on to your confusion, he quickly tried to explain. "Look, I'm usually very in control of my urges, but I'd be lying if I said that you weren't something right out of my dreams. You are very gorgeous, and your smile is heart-stopping. I let my mind wonder, and I apologize for that."
He was honest. That was one of the many reasons you'd liked him so much in the first place. Aside from being painstakingly beautiful himself, he had a personality that was just as inviting as his looks. Feeling a surge of curiosity and something else you weren't really used to feeling, you decided to ask, "What do you mean you let your mind wonder? I'm sorry to ask, but I, Uh, I'm not really um.. experienced." It was his turn to look puzzled. "What do you mean by that? Not to ignore your question, but surely you have some experience?"
"No, I don't. I've never even touched myself, and I'm still a virgin. I just wanted to wait, ya know? Find someone worth giving myself to in that way.. someone who would actually love me and not just use me. I know, it's rare these days, but one can dream." You weren't really sure why you were telling him this. After tomorrow, you'd never see him again, so did it really matter? Give it a month, and he probably won't even remember. They meet so many fans with all kinds of stories.
"I understand, well, to answer your question from earlier. I couldn't help but wonder what your lips would taste like against mine. Or how pretty you sound when you moan. You must make the most magical noises when you're enjoying yourself." Your thighs clamped shut at his words. Your untouched cunt silently screaming to be loved, to be pleasured. You gulped at the thought, I mean, who better to take your virginity than someone you've literally dreamt about every night for years. Someone who you could only pray your future partner would remotely resemble. Someone who saw you, a stranger, and decided to help you when you were afraid and vulnerable.
"Yeosang... would you, um, would you be okay with taking it slow? Walking me through it?"
"I'd love nothing more. I'm gonna need you to come lay on the bed next to me, okay?"
Patting the bed next to him, you moved to lay beside him. Your nerves were getting the best of you again, but this time, it felt good? He eased his way over you, his legs straddling your thighs. Looking down at you with nothing but awe, he leaned in slowly, giving you time to move if you wanted, before softly caressing your lips with his. His hand moving up to gently cup your cheek and pull you slightly closer. Your head was already spinning. How could a kiss feel this good? He slowly moved his other hand to your breast, palming at the soft mound over your shirt. A small but angelic whimper escaping your mouth and flowing into his. You were so perfect, and all he's done is kiss you.
Parting your lips to catch his breath, he moved his way down, placing soft, calculated kisses on your jaw, then neck, the chest. Arching into his touch absentmindedly, your eyes closed in pure bliss, your hand followed his every move, finding its place in his hair, gently gripping the blonde locks in between your fingers. Kissing down your stomach, he stopped right above where his sweats sat on your waist. "Are you comfortable with taking these off, love?" He looked up at you, his eyes reassuring, full of concern for your comfort and yours only. It was obvious he wanted to make you feel good more than anything else. You nodded a quiet "Yes" escaping your lips.
With your permission, he hooked his thumbs on the waistband, pulling it and your panties down carefully. "I'm going to taste you now beautiful, okay? I need you to relax for me and let me make you feel good. Can you do that for me, precious?" Another nod from you is all he got, and all he needed. Licking a slow strip up your folds. "Fuck you're so wet already. Did you know that precious? Did you know how beautifully eager you cunt was for some attention?" Looking up at you, all he could see was the absolutely fucked out look on your face. He hadn't even fully started and you looked like you were ready to fall apart. God, you really could not be more perfect.
Placing a few more slow licks through your folds, he spread your thighs a little further apart. He wanted the perfect view of his new favorite meal. Your hands gripped the sheets beneath you, your hips bucking up, trying to find his tongue once again. "Fuck you're so eager to learn princess. Don't worry, I promise I'll teach you everything I know." And with that he was face first in your cunt again. Licking sweet circles around your clit. You felt like you were floating, your stomach creating a knot of pleasure just waiting to be released. Your hips moving with the licks he placed on your aching bud with perfect timing. Feeling like you were nearing your climax he slowly slipped his index finger inside your tight hole. "Dear god, you are so fucking tight baby, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to fit, we're gonna have to prep this pretty pussy of yours okay?" You were nothing but a fraction of the girl you were just 10 minutes ago. Your brain foggy, your climax ready to take you under. He slipped his middle finger in, curling both fingers up to find the spongey spot he knew would set you off. Once he found it, he only slightly quickened his face, adding pressure you your clit with his tongue expertly flicking away. "Fuck... FUCK YEOSANNNGGG" Your vision went white, your thighs trembling at the feeling of your high spraying out of you. You were an absolute mess. Trying to catch your breath, you propped yourself up on your forearms. Yeosang already climbing on the bed next to you, water in hand. "Here love, take a sip." You gulped the water down, handing it back to him. "Your shirts soaked?? I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to - i- I didn't know.." You started. He just laughed waving you off. "Of course you didn't know baby. I'm pleasantly surprised you can squirt and I am absolutely not complaining. It was hot as fuck. I'd love to make you do it again." And you would love to do it again. Having finally fully come back to and steadied your breathing you look at the blonde man sitting next to you. "Yeosang, please, I want you. I want you to have me, I want you to be my first. Please..." Fuck, how could he say no to that? He couldn't. He wouldn't. "Are you absolutely sure love? I don't want you to regret it later." He meant that too. He knew that it was important to you and he didn't want to be the guys you were so desperately trying to avoid. He wouldn't be them, he'd made up his mind. "I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather loose my virginity to, Yeo.. you're literally my biggest fantasy.. please take me."
And with that, he was taking off his clothes, throwing them on the floor. You followed suit, taking off your.. his shirt, and tossing to the floor. He climbed back over you once again, and you spread your thighs, giving him perfect access to your glistening entrance. Leaning over you to place a gentle kiss on your forehead before resting his against it. "We'll take it slow, okay baby? If you need me to pause or to stop all together, just tell me, okay?" You smiled up at him, your eyes full of love. "Okay," you nodded. Lining himself up, he slowly pushed himself into your sopping cunt. Your lips parting at the stretch, a painful inhale falling from your mouth. "Are you okay? Do I need to stop?" You shook your head, "No, no please don't stop Sangie." A breathy plea to him. Inching himself further inside he groaned in pleasure at the feeling of your warm walls clenching around his cock like a glove. You feel like you were made for him. Molded to fit his dick, and his dick only. Stilling his movement once he was fully sheathed inside you he placed a hungry kiss to your lips. His tongue massaging yours, your beautiful moans being swallowed by him. Pulling away ever so slightly you whined looking at him with the most pitiful, gorgeous, look he's ever seen. "Sangie, please... please move."
Slowly, he retracted his hips before pushing back into you with one deep thrust. "Aahh, shit Sangie!" Another sharp thrust, "fuck you feel so good wrapped around me baby." He set the perfect pace, slow and deep thrusts, pulling you into your own personal utopia of pleasure. Your hands found their place on his shoulders, nails sinking into his skin surely leaving cresent marks he will be wearing proudly tomorrow. Your back arching in pleasure and your walls clenching around him, he quickened his pace. Sharp deep thrusts threatening to explode. "Fuck angel, are you close? I need you to cum for me beautiful, I need to feel you cum all over my cock." His eyes were pleading with yours his hand quickly moving down to where your sweet perky bud was. Applying pressure to the small mound, flicking over it in time with his trusts, your eyes glossed over, you were so far gone. "Sangie... sh...aaahhh.. I'm gonna..." the feeling washed over you with a surge that refused to hold back. Yeosangs thrusts becoming speratic as your essence floods over him like a warm wave "Quick baby, where do you want me to come??" Your mind barely had time to comprehend his words before you were saying, "inside please fuck Please cum inside me, I want to feel you everywhere." With a few more unsyncronized pumps, he was spewing thick white ropes onto your spasms walls. Steadying himself above you, he kissed you tenderly before slowly pulling out and standing up. "Let me help you get cleaned up, I'll be right back."
He disappeared into the bathroom, coming back only a few moments later with a warm washcloth. He was gentle when cleaning you up. Taking his time as to not cause you any pain or discomfort. You looked at the bed, and your body froze. "Yeo... Yeosang.. why is there blood??" Your voice and body trembling at the sight. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. "Don't freak out, okay. It's perfectly normal. A lot of girls bleed their first time having sex, and I promise it's nothing to worry about." He reassured you. "Now, how does a bath sound?" A soft hum into his shoulder was all he needed to know that that's exactly what you needed right now. Gently laying you back down, he disappeared to the bathroom again. As he drew your bath, adding relaxing oils and bath salts, he laid out two towels and some body oil for after.
"Let's get you in the tub angel. I'll be there to join you in a few minutes, okay? I'm just gonna make the bed really quick." He helped you into the tub, one hand holding yours and his other hand resting on your back as you eased yourself in. A quick kiss to your forehead, and he was leaving to change the bedding and throw the soaked sheets in the laundry.
Once he returned, he joined you in the tub, sitting behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist. "So I was thinking.." He started, "I know we just met, and we just had sex, but I was hoping that, if you want, of course, you'd stay with me? You don't have to answer now, but I just want you to know I think you're really something special and I'd love to see what the future has in store for us." You nodded, listening to his words, deciding to answer him after you weren't naked at the very least.
He helped you bathe, and you, of course, returned the favor. Getting out of the tub, he made sure to hold you steady and wrapped you in a fluffy towel. He helped you get dressed in a new set of his clothes and even carried you to his bed. Laying you down under the covers, he climbed in bed next to you. You turned to face him, looking at him with so much admiration, so much wonder and love. "I'd love to stay with you." You said before turning to lay on your back. He pulled you back to face him, his arms tightening around your waist. He kissed the tip of your nose softly, "You dont even know how happy you just made me. You really are the woman of my dreams."
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Update the Third: I finished it... and bro I care them. so much.
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my-pjo-stuff · 2 months
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*YAPPING AHEAD, THIS IS LONG*
As someone who has circled through a LOT of fandoms, you know what differentiates the PJO fandom from most of the others? Their raging hatred for what normally would be a very popular character archetype. "Who's that character archetype then" you ask? The answer is Luke Castellan. Unirnonically, I'm complety straight with this.
Luke Castellan is one of the most popular character archetypes in most other fandoms I am/were in.
Now before I get further into this meta, we should establish what archetype Luke actually is and what the criteria are. To me, Luke is the classical Sympathetic Fallen Hero. Someone who only wanted what's best at the end of the day who was wronged by an unjust system, and pushed into straight-up villainy and evil deeds in a desperate attempt for revenge or justice. Oftentimes that push happened by him joining up with a larger, more evil figure who manipulated his hatred into serving this larger, evil goal. Generally also has some deep-rooted trauma in the form of a DARK backstory.
Like literally, that guy is TEXTBOOK. He checks all the boxes. -Someone who only wanted what's best at the end of the day
Check. His goal was a "golden age" for demigods, a future where they would no longer have to die during quests or would be abandoned by their godly parents.
-and pushed into straight-up villainy and evil deeds in a desperate attempt for revenge or justice.
Check. Luke wanted both revenge and justice, which led him to form the Titan Army and all the bad stuff he did. Some include attempting to kill Percy multiple times and leading attacks on camp. The obvious superiority the gods would have over a demigod army led to Luke allying himself with Kronos and other evil forces. (Thus the "desperate" part)
-Oftentimes that push happened by him joining up with a larger, more evil figure who manipulated his hatred into serving this larger, evil goal.
Check. On multiple occasions has it been mentioned that Kronos punished and pressured Luke, using fear tactics to get him to do what he wanted. I mean- Kronos himself said that he would have preferred Percy because he "did things easier" referring to taking the CoA ("I had to pressure Luke in many ways(.....)")
-Generally also has some deep-rooted trauma in the form of a DARK backstory.
Check. His mother went insane when he was still an infant. Hermes practically abandoned them, leaving Luke to be raised by his mentally unstable mother having episodes that scarred him so bad he hid in closets. He proceeded to run away at 9, living on the streets completely alone before meeting Thalia. From then on he went around with her having to deal with monsters. Hal happened, they met Annabeth and Luke started to get parentified/parentified himself. He proceeded to watch Thalia die as he attempted to get to camp at 14. At the same age he had his quest, which he failed and got himself a nasty scar. Luke proceeded to get no discernable mental help or sufficient support to deal with the mental strain resulting from that. Instead, he was put into a caretaker role for younger children not only showing him the results of the system's neglect first hand but also effectivley robbing him of any semblance of a childhood. Once Kronos got to him he continued to the plagued by nightmares.
All that being said, we now established that Luke in fact is a textbook example of what I call the Sympathetic Fallen Hero. (SFL for short from now on) Now onto my point that the other fandoms generally really love the SFL archetype that Luke is. That I will do with examples. Before I list these examples, a short disclaimer. I HEAVILY shortened and abridged the plot and storylines on here as to not make this post overly long. I definitely recommend checking each of these media/characters out for yourself.
Anyway, here we go : STAR WARS :
A big part of the fandom LOVE Anankin/Darth Vader whom they view as a SFH. (Even though him not really being a SFL in the way that he checks all the boxes. But I'm going with the majority fandom view here so ig Vaderkin counts. For those who want, I made a post on my main comparing him to Luke here and how Luke is what the star wars fandom pretends Vader is.)
MY HERO ACADEMIA/BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA:
I want to talk the Villain Deku AU. Which is basically just an evil version of the MC who also checks all the SFH boces. The AU is hugely popular in the fandom with tons of fanart, animatics, cosplays and even a fan song. Honorable mention to the main anatonigst from the League of Villains, but especially Shigaraki and Dabi. They may not check ALL SFH boxes but an overwhelming majority. They are very popular with the fandom and generally regarded very kindly. Another honorable mention goes out to Stain. Also doesn't check ALL the SFH boxes, but most, and is also regarded generally positivley by the fandom.
THE PROMISED NEVERLAND
Norman, one of the main trio, spends a good part of the later manga seperated and leading his own resistance group against the main bad guy race (of monsters eating human brains- long story but I recommend the manga(don't watch s2 of the anime tho, it's basically the pjo movies for the manga)). Later on it is revealed that the main bad race isn't pure evil. Norman however got to the point where he wanted to commit a straight-up genocide against the race. Women, children, and elderly included. Bit of an outlier for a SFH, since he has no higher figure manipulating him into wanting to commit that genocide- but I'll let it slide. I did use the words "oftentimes" and "generally"- he also get's "redeemed" at the end/stopped from committing said genocide. Again the fandom regards him positively, even having him as a fan favorite.
NARUTO CLASSIC/NARUTO SHIPPUDEN
..... I mean most of the villains are SFH in that show. To the point where we would be here ages if I wanted to list them all. The two main examples most popular with the fandom tho would be Pain and Sasuke. Pain is a main villain whose home got destroyed, partially because of the MC's own home village. He watched his own parents die, and later lost one of his two best friends which finally pushed him over the edge (among others). Pain is also an outlier in terms of a SFH since he didn't have a major bad guy to manipulate him, instead leading his own evil (basically) terrorist cell. His goal was to achieve world peace by harnessing an ancient power, wanting others to suffer as much as he did so they recognize the value of peace. He killed a BUNCH of people. Pain did later revive a good chunk at the price of his own life however post redemption by the MC. Sasuke is the secondary MC and rival of the protagonist. Honestly he has so much going on I couldn't possibly mention it all. Basics are that his family got killed by his own brother due to difficult politics, he was the only survivor. His drive for revenge against his older brother caused him to join up with the main bad guy of Naruto Classic who rly only wanted him as a vessel (flashbacks much). Sasuke betrays his home for the bad guy to get the power he needs to take revenge. All that was stoked by the main bad guy and his comments. More plot happens, turns out the brother rly wasn't entierly bad and was also just used by other higher powers. Sasuke switches sides again and kills OG bad guy and joins up with Pain's previously mentioned terrorist group. The main goal from there is to destroy his home village who used his brother. He was not shy to kill ppl at that point, and was also basically ready to just commit a genocide on his own home. More plot happens, he get's redeemed eventually. Again in both cases the two are CRAZY popular with the fandom.
PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS
I talked about this once already on here, but the fandom seems to LOVE AUs where dark!Percy just opts to straight up overthrow Olympus. I don't think i have to elaborate more on that tbh, but for those that are interested: Here's the post I made about the fandom's hypocrisy concerning dark!Percy and Luke.
And those were only 5 examples, there are many more SFL examples LOVED by the fandom I haven't mentioned here. I'm sure of that.
Seeing this pattern really makes me wonder why Luke seems to be so despised. Logic would dictate him to be rather popular.
My personal theory ? It's a mix of a few factors. Those being : A) The fandom over-sympathizes with Percy Jackson
Percy is easily the most popular character in the fandom. He is the MC afterall. The fandom tends to take his side no matter what, without properly and honestly empathizing with his enemies. It's similar to having rose tinted glasses with a relative or friend. You take their side no matter what- not even wanting to hear out the other side. The fandom seems to have an inherent bias towards Percy, those nice to Percy are viewed positivley. Those having more negative interactions (,even if the interaction is relatively low on the nagtive scale, like a character being critical of Percy for example,) are generally viewed more negativley.
B) The First Person POV of the books and the average age of the fans when they first read the books.
This relates to the first factor in the way that the very Percy-centric set up of the fandom AND the books influence the fandom's perception of characters. The books where Luke appears in are all in Percy's POV. Luke as a character in very complex and needs a lot of empathy and reading between the lines to properly understand and analyze. The books being in Percy's POV hurt Luke in the way that Percy's opinion of Luke is omnipresent with him. Any First Person POV is inherently unreliable, thus Luke often gets presented as a rather one-dimensional evil since that's what Percy views him as for most the book. Luke lacks his own POV, meaning he doesn't really get the chance to truly explain himself. Then ontop of that is the fact that everything he does is filtered through Percy's eyes which are inherently hostile towards him ost the time. Such delivers a wrong first impression of Luke throughout the books. The fandom, due to their attachment to Percy, often do not take their time to objectivley reevaluate his POV or confront the fact that he's an inherently unreliable narrator. Especially for Luke. Furthermore, from what I have seen are a lot of the fans in the fandom "old timers". People who read the first few books as young children and were children when their opinions of characters formed. Them having been so young when first getting introduced to the characters saw them often unable to even really realize all I said above. It also further glorifies Percy as he get's the nostalgia bonus. People generally do not like to challenge their own believes, so large parts of the fandom never took their time to reevaluate Luke and his story once they got older and learnt about the concept of Unreliable Narrators.
C) The fandoms views Luke as a threat to Percy and Percabeth.
This relates to both factors above, while also including the popular false narrative of Luke being a "pedo" or "groomer" If you read the first five books you will see that besides his last question to Annabeth at the end, nothing Luke does can be even remotely read as pedophilic or grooming of nature. Quite the opposite acctualy! He has stated on multiple occasions canonically that he sees his relationship with Annabeth as platonic. The ONLY canonical romantic relationship he had was with a grown monster. He's only ever portrayed having interest in adult women (monsters) , and even that romance plot is just barely there. The fandom, again, is overly attached to Percy however. And they do not like it when other characters challenge him. Luke however is the MOST challenging character for Percy. Not only does he serve as main antagonist, but he also serves as a narrative foil to Percy. He is what Percy could become. He's the canonical dark!Percy AU. He's the other side of the coin toss. Furthermore, Luke also challenges Percy not only on the physical department (fights) but also in terms of morals. At the end of the day Luke was right afterall. One could argue that Percy wasn't really fighting for the "good guys"- he was simply fighting for the "lesser of two evils" Luke brings moral challenges to Percy. He doesn't allow Percy to be a wholly good , squeaky-clean hero. Percy was fighting for the upkeep of an oppressive system. (If U wanna argue with me on the gods being oppressive, take it up with the offical wiki article first : found here) Percy killed other demigods. Percy had flawed views. The fandom who over sympathise with Percy didn't like that Luke was an active threat towards the "goodness" of their favorite. The easiest way out eliminate that "threat" was to demonize Luke. Thus making his points "invalid" as he now was a pure evil villain only aiming to hurt. (Same for the entier TA btw) Percabeth is just as popular as Percy. Annabeth had a deep and important connection to Luke- at the time of the books arguably even deeper and more important than her connection to Percy. Throughout the book has Percy expresses annoyance at Annabeth's insistence in holding onto Luke. This combined with the points above saw Luke being viewed as a possibly threat, due to him being arguably the most important person of the other gender in Annabeth's life. And an obvious point of contention between Percabeth. Inorder to lessen that "threat" the fandom turned to demonizing Luke (again). Annabeth's and Luke's relationship can easily be swept away by saying that Luke was interested in her romantically thus making him a pedo, no ? As for the grooming....... honestly? People just used a buzzword there, because if Luke truly had groomed Annabeth she would have been on his side on the books. All I can say there is please you guys, read a dictionary and know what words mean before you use them.
D) Rick fumbled HARD writing Luke
Luke may just have been the biggest continuous mistake Uncle Rick made in terms of writing. His characterisation in the first two books made him seem VERY evil and unlikable, which is bad as a first impression for a character such as him. SFL like Luke need a lot of focus and insight aswell as sympathy to get behind them. In most examples I mentioned for SFL they backstory was known very early on and they had a lot more focus outside of villainy. Rick simply didn't give that. The backstory reveal with Luke happened far too late, he was far too evil with too little insight for a SFL in the first two books. His "redemtion" was a bit rushed. We got basically nothing on his relationship with his army. His goods sides and his doubts weren't really highlighted enough early on. His last words and questions to Annabeth were frankly said stupid. It broke the themes of family between Luke and Annabeth to some degree and only served as fodder for later accusations. The fact that it was (apperantly) later confirmed that he romantically loved Annabeth was just straight up stupid. It wasn't in character at all and just broke the themes even more, not to mention that it goes against everything we previously saw or heard of Luke. Not to mention that it also just served as further fodder for the fandom to demonize Luke.
Thanks for everyone who stuck around to read this absolute giant of a meta XD Probably was the largest Tumblr post I have written so far.
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qcomicsy · 4 months
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Marvel writer: Then Wade get involved with monsters! And–
Me:
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Disney's animated Mulan came out in 1998, and I just know 13yr old Juliet Butler would have been insufferable about it
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novelconcepts · 9 months
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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ivan-fyodorovich-k · 2 years
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I feel like it would be nice to acquire a cool military antique while I’m here, like a cool compass or pair of binoculars, but also I feel like a fucking moron for collecting army stuff and the feeling becomes more intense with every passing year
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gamebunny-advance · 2 years
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GAB: Neon J. Edition
I've been kinda busy with some IRL stuff lately, so I haven't found much time to draw. In the meantime, I've started using a habit tracker app to try and motivate me to make some more positive changes in my life. Today, I finally decided to add, "draw for at least 1 hour a day" to my dailies list, so hopefully I'll have at least one thing to post a day for a little while, even if it's kinda shitty.
Anyways, as you can probably infer, this is what I did today.
Kinda~
I actually did the sketch for Neon GAB a few weeks ago to go with the Kun3h0 1010s I did, but since I stopped drawing again, I got really rusty (again), and this was one of the simplest sketches I had to try and get back in the groove.
Normally I would post a doodle dump of all the bad sketches I've done since the 1010 oddloop animation, but instead I'm gonna try to use those for my drawing hour for the next few days, so you'll get them eventually, just as a drip feed (and since I'm working on them, they should actually be something worth looking at for 5 seconds).
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deadrlngers · 2 years
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OC DUALITY + TRAGEDY ROLE
i was tagged by @risingsh0t @morvaris @devilbrakers to take this quiz and by @indorilnerevarine and @girlbosselrond to take this other quiz for my ocs. thank you all soso much!!!
i'm super late to this and i'm sure these already made rounds so i'm tagging whoever wants to do this <3
— oc duality:
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god-hungry scientist and their abominable child
you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.
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bandmates with firecracker sexual chemistry
you are like shooting stars. you are misguided and magnetic and drawn to your loves without hesitation. something about you gulps down anything it finds. and you're fun, and you stick your tongue out to anyone, and we love you for it with kisses and pulls of the hair. you will be remembered in fascination and jealousy. you are unforgettable.
— tragedy role:
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misunderstood villain
prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.
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tortured love interest
you're so hot. sorry about the horrors. you're the kind of person people immediately notice. whether you have a distinct style, are more outgoing, or are just plain beautiful, you make an impression. people usually feel the need to protect you, which probably frustrates you to no end. you're not weak! you're not fragile! you're not helpless! but the people in your life tend to disagree. maybe it's your lover, the protagonist, trying to keep you out of their own turmoil. maybe it's someone responsible for you in some way, keeping you away from your lover, while they head down an increasingly dark path. regardless, all you really want is a sense of autonomy! unfortunately, you're very likely to die before that happens. the audience will be so caught up in the grief your death causes the protagonist that they forget to grieve you as a person. you deserved better, but unfortunately this is not your story. maybe it should have been.
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