#that you are bad or harming people
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Please read this essay before you decide it is ableist. This person majored in oral history and storytelling, they are also dyslexic and have ADHD. They are not against you.
This essay is about class, colonialism and oppression. It is about how the written word makes you put your own thoughts and feelings into the work - which they are right in the fact that you cannot do that with any other medium.
It is a love letter to reading, not a detriment to you.
"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."
Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]
#.faeposting#i kept seeing people calling it ableist#and as someone with multiple disabilities yall very obviously did not read the essay#anything verbal inherrently has emotions from the speaker into it#same with visual#same with music and photography#this does not mean that you are wrong for not reading#that you are bad or harming people#but you need to learn why the written word is so important as a medium#and we need to start engaging with it again#if we can#oppression#essay#essays#reading#reading literacy#illiteracy#media literacy
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I saw this on FB today and I wanna try and express something about it. Like, you know the curbcutter effect? Where when curbcuts are put in it benefits everyone (bicyclists, people with baby strollers etc) and not just disabled people?
There is also whatever the opposite of the curbcutter effect is. And this is that.
This isn't just anti-adhd/autism propaganda... this is anti-child propaganda.
Kids have developmentally appropriate ways that they need to move their bodies and express themselves and sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead is not natural or good for ANY CHILD.
Don't get me wrong, I was punished unduly as a kid for being neurodivergent (and other types of kid will ALSO be punished unduly for it... Black kids come to mind) and thus UNABLE to perform this -- but even the kids who ARE able to perform this type of behavior are not SERVED WELL by it. They don't benefit from it.
This is bad for everyone.
The idea that bc some kids may be capable of complying with unfair expectations, those expectations don't hurt them... is a dangerous idea. Compliance isn't thriving. Expectation of compliance isn't fair treatment.
#theres a lot of things lately that make me think of this where#people will act like theres this class of people not harmed by something#(laws undermining bodily autonomy come to mind!!!!!)#and its like -- no. the consequences will be worse for some people#but no one is ultimately served by the erosion of bodily autonomy like there is not a class of people who benefit from that#same with lack of right to privacy#there isnt a DEMOGRAPHIC of people who benefit from certain things#there are systems that do. and there may be a handful of individuals who benefit partially or FOR NOW#until those systems are turned against them#i think its important to remind people in certain privileged demographics that like#certain things do benefit them#and others DON'T#you may suffer less statistically but it doesnt benefit you!#its BAD SOCIETALLY.
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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ashton buying into the same ideology as ludinus but replacing predathos with the titans isn’t something i expected but upon further reflection perhaps has been obvious the whole time. ludinus and ashton holding hands as they illustrate freud’s account of melancholia as they are willing to step on whatever ants they need to in the name of gaining back the life they believe they are owed and which they are melancholic over the perceived theft of. get a hobby. go to therapy. certainly shut your damn mouth about being for the little guy or the powerless.
#believing you are owed anything is a fool’s burden. holding that belief so tightly that you accept the harm of others#morally incoherent and deplorable#2 be clear ashton obviously isn’t as bad as ludinus because he hasn’t killed countless people#but uh. the ideology sure stinks with familiarity#cr3#critical role#cr spoilers#ashon greymoore#ludinus da'leth
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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see like the thing with 'carewhumpers' as a concept to me is it just like... i know this is prrrrobably not really how it's meant but something skeeves me out about the idea that kindness or caretaking mixed in with hurting someone can somehow meaningfully complicate or dilute the harm done to the point of making that character no longer a 'whumper' whereas someone doing the same 'bad' things but not ever being gentle or caring for them would just be a straight-out whumper. when like... that's how 90% of irl abuse dynamics work? so i just... don't really get the point, i guess. like to me it implies something about the 'care' provided somehow mitigating or combating the harm done that. i just do not personally appreciate or enjoy.
#gav gab#just thinking out loud#like i don't think that's 'nuance' or 'grey characters' i think that's just an extremely common and typical dynamic of abuse#someone breaking your nose and then cleaning up the blood and tucking you into bed is not less like#violent or abusive or harmful than someone who just stops at breaking your nose yk#and i think that it can successfully be summarized by any number of other ways?#carewhumper is just not useful or meaningful shorthand to me the way caretaker/whumper/whumpee are#it implies that the word 'caretaker' or 'whumper' encompasses 100% of a person's constant behaviour#in a very flattened and simplistic way#please do not come at me about this im not saying this is how everyone means it this is just#how i personally feel about it#due to the way i approach these words#and im not trying to say anyone CANT write about very typical abusive dynamics#im just saying the elements of like. 'good' behaviour or 'kind' treatment#doesn't make the Bad Part any less real or bad#the way that 'carewhumper' being set as a different or distinct thing than 'whumper' implies to me#i just feel insane whenever i see people using the term tbh like this is probably a me thing#a very stupid distinction to get hung up on#but i just. im always like isn't that just a whumper who's nice sometimes#what is the utility of this word if not to imply that#someone being nice sometimes meaningfully combats how cruel they are other times#what part of 'whumper' means they always have to be violent and awful 24/7#and do not take this to mean caretakers are never allowed to fuck up#or do anything wrong or get frustrated#or anything like that but that is like#very distinct from being a whumper of any kind at all#like the idea that a 'whumper' can only be 100% a sadist who means to cause harm and intends to cause harm every time is like#cmon now
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can we please stop telling people to kill themselves and to rot in hell and that they deserve to be bullied and that they are inherently horrible people who deserve to die and get doxxed. please. can we please stop doing that.
#like#okay first of all. do you understand the gravity of what youre saying or are you just throwing words into sentences#second of all. that kind of language is so fucking harmful for people with ocd or just obsessions with morality#because i mean not to make this abt Me (though this is kind of a vent ) but when i see people saying that it just. Sends me into spirals#because if people can say that to other people then what if they say it to me because i secretly believe the same things (even if i don't#-most of the time!)#what if im an inherently horrible person deep down? am i going to rot in hell for feeling slightly bad for this person?#i cant imagine that others dont feel like this or something along those lines.#im so fucking sick of death threats they do nothing. they do fucking jackshit except make more people feel terrible.#if you send death threats to people or say shit like this im blocking you. i dont want you in my space#bee.txt#moral ocd#scrupulosity
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i found a god awful doc about this one person (who, too, is a god awful being) trying to reason why mudClaw would be a bad leader. I'ma try to find the doc but meanwhile I'll submit this because someone could have the link, I'll need your honest thought about it bcs why are we defending oneWhiker now
Anon, buddy, I'm gonna have to sit you down and gently discourage you from casually calling random human people "god awful beings" in my inbox like this. Not when you're just talking about relatively basic media analysis. That isn't ok or normal.
I hope that when I speak harshly, it's coming from a place of condemning hurtful actions and the tangible harm that they cause. I don't appreciate people trying to get me to directly beef with other people directly by requesting I break down their individual posts or analysis documents (when I ask for people to share links, it's so I can see and prepare to counter the ideas because they usually "float downstream" if they get popular); but in a second ask, you linked this document and there's nothing harmful in it. In fact, it's got a far more neutral tone than I'd take if I was writing an analysis about Mudclaw.
If you couldn't tell the difference between a document like this and one that contains active abuse apologia rhetoric, I would be filled with concern. But I don't think you read it. I think you maybe skimmed it and stopped reading, or just heard the title.
Because this document literally says this;
and your takeaway, something you felt so strongly about that you came to me hoping I'd validate it, was "Why Are We Defending Onewhisker Now."
Art is a tool we can use to explore our own biases, and teach us something about ourselves. That overwhelming sense of anger and disgust that you probably felt when you saw "Mudclaw Would Be A Bad Leader" made you jump to an emotional conclusion and you assumed something that was not said. I know the feeling. You might have had a reactionary impulse.
You are not a bad person for doing that-- you're human. You can grow.
Why did it upset you this much, though? Is there something very personal about this that set you off? ...are you spending a lot of time in spaces online that keep you angry? These are questions for you to reflect with.
I do not know the owner of this document or "what they've done," if anything, so I will not link it, because their Discord is at the bottom of the doc. If they are truly a "god awful being", please do not engage, just block and move on. Nothing is accomplished by following around 'A Bad Guy' and boosting their cat takes.
But something VERY bad WOULD be accomplished if I indulged an anon for a situation I know nothing about and unwittingly became part of a harassment campaign. How do I know that you've got good intentions?
I usually just delete unsolicited links to docs and videos that are 'fightbaiting' like this-- trying to get me to beef publicly with a 3rd person. But I've seen more of these than usual lately so I would like to try and cool it down.
#Those are genuine mindfulness questions btw. i always mean it when I ask people to reflect.#And sometimes you DO have a good and legitimate answer to them#Sometimes the thing that is personal about it is that they are spreading harmful ideas or being bigoted.#But you need to learn to be specific about What the harmful idea is.#And How it is harmful.#bone babble#I'm also going to be clarifying this over in the ask etiquette because I don't want this place to turn into a drama blog.#This is not about saying that I won't comment on fandom discussions or ppl can't ask my opinions on things#It's that we can talk about the ideas without demonizing some guy about it#God Awful Doc from a God Awful Being is not even remotely an ok thing to say in this inbox when i know nothing about anyone involved#it DOES kinda concern me that The Youths seem to have 'BAD PERSON' as part of their lexicon#im seeing the sentiment in a looooot of places lately and that does actually scare me#My partner halfjokes with me that everyone should be made to take a mandatory 5 hour class on Splitting before being allowed online#and by 'halfjoke' I mean 'halflife' because it becomes 50% more correct every single day
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Anti's be like: I can't stand it when good artists use their talent to be weird.
Then list like: Actual rapist, groomer, someone who still finds their childhood fictional crush attractive and ages them up with themselves, another actual rapist, a racist, someone who ships a ship they find icky.
#proship please interact#proselfship#proship#darkship#comship#antis dni#Like why do you feel like people who enjoy fiction are just as bad or worse than people who cause actual harm
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what no i’m fine. i’m just thinking about how harrowhark chose to lobotomize herself and remove all memories of gideon to preserve gideon’s soul, and how ianthe chose to kill naberius and consume his soul instead of corona’s soul. and i’m just thinking about how both harrow and ianthe did this - refused to consume gideon's and naberius' souls- out of a twisted love they held for their cavaliers. because harrow wanted to retain any chance she had of bringing gideon back, and because ianthe wanted her sister to live. and i’m thinking about how neither gideon nor corona saw this as love but instead as rejection (gideon saying “i gave you my whole self and you didn’t even want it,” corona saying “she could have taken me”) and anyway it’s just fucked up but i’m fine
#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#griddlehark#naberius tern#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#tlt coronabeth#tlt#lyctorhood is a really fun time with no bad consequences!!!!#gideon and corona view consumption as love#harrowhark and ianthe view it as selfish and harmful#or tbh maybe they see it as love too but dont want to lose those specific people#and especially gideon really gets to me because we see in her narration that she views this as a complete rejection! its so sad#harrow has been groping blindly around the mithraeum bleeding all over the place unable to regenerate just because she can't bear to absorb#gideon's soul. but because this necessiates rejecting gideon's sacrifice AND because gideon is now convinced harrow is in love with alecto#gideon is like Oh so you hate me.
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Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?
Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body#there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean#kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want#transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want#while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely...#...on what *they* want y'know?#i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking#like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis...#...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself...#...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves#and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can#and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad#there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'
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Life as a JGY stan is so hard because sometimes I want to make posts about the ways his very justified paranoia turns against him sometimes, rare moments where I think being more trusting or vulnerable would have helped but he felt like it couldnt, or talk about how his brutal survival instinct intersects with society's existing bigotries in a such a way that most of his violence is actually aimed at people lower on the ladder than him, with people like Jin Guangshan being the exception not the rule. Because he's a fascinating character and these parts of him are interesting!
But when I do that I have to live in perpetual fear of the moment that it escapes its target audience and someone takes it to go "Yeah he's a monster who fucked over everyone and is incapable of love! I wish he was killed earlier and his death was a thousand times more painful 🤪"
I mean, take my last example. Due to existing hierarchies it is, at any point, easier and safer for jgy to harm people less powerful than him instead of more powerful than him, even if the more powerful are the ones threatening his safety in the first place. Even knowing how it harms him and while working against it, Jin Guangyao is not immune to internalizing the mindset of the world he lives in. Even when killing Jin Guangshan- one man- it ends up costing the lives of 20 sex workers. You think I can bring up the sex workers in this fucking fandom? You think that will go over peacefully? The well has been so thoroughly poisoned here it feels like any conversation around morality automatically turns into a courtroom to determine a sentence for this fictional fucking character who's already dead.
#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#complaining and whining about fandom#does fandom even know you can talk about morality in a way that's not adding up good person vs bad person tally points?#i think it's really fucking interesting how jgy is the person who's saved the most common people in the setting with the watchtowers#a politically unpopular move! this was a passion project he made becuase he wanted to help people!#and yet he's not afraid to take advantage of every bit of social capital he painstakingly gains to harm those below him either#i wish! that i could talk about that!#i also haaaate the 'incapable of love' thing on principle#morality is a choice! people don't need to FEEL love or empathy to not harm others#to use it as shorthand for 'evil' is reductive and fucking annoying#people hurt people they love all the time!#fandom does this in a similar way to nmj also. 'oh he can't empathise with other people' NOT THE PROBLEM. HE HAS A VERY DIFFERENT PROBLEM#what characters feel is very important to me from a 'studying blorbo' perspective but not in a debate about whether they're a good person
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the shit siffrin said in act 5 isn't even that bad 😭 they were mean one time!! very precisely mean but like. their friends aren't that fragile. i woulda forgiven them even if they weren't going through timeloop hell. sometimes you're feeling shitty and don't know how to handle it so you fuck up and what matters is that you recognize that and do your best to take steps to prevent it from happening again!
#also wild to me when people are like 'well obviously bad touch was bad but he can be forgiven'#like obviously it wasn't *ideal* but#most people have not been explicitly taught Consent 101#it is quite ordinary to not ask before kissing someone who you are quite sure is into you#they thought they were doing what isa wanted. they were horrified to realized they'd gotten it wrong#i'm not gonna get mad at them for not knowing better! they genuinely did not know!#no harm done (even if sif had stayed in that timeline i'm fairly confident it wouldn't have qualified as harm)#and they learned from the mistake and will never repeat it#like maybe it's just the early childhood ed teacher in me but i'm never gonna get mad at someone for not using tools#that they were NEVER GIVEN#isat#siffrin#isat spoilers#thoughts#thoughts about siffrin
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"going to therapy makes you a worse person because you learn the words and therapy incantations to be more evil and manipulative" ok I guess we should all just kill ourselves
#im hating this new wave of therapy slander#ill give you a secret people with great interpersonal skills aren't usually the ones seeking therapists#im guessing most of these posts are made with cluster B individuals in mind but these patterns of behavior take a LOT of hard work to mend#I'm sure people misuese what they learn in the early stages and some may never unlearn harmful ways of being or have a bad therapist#but going 'therapy makes you worse' is fucking insane as a blanket statement
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Vignette + Trench MVs
#twenty one pilots#clancy#josh dun#tyler joseph#vignette might end up being my fave on the album (he says about every song on the album)#anyway i think it's interesting how the cycle could be read in reverse#like escaping dema is what's harmful. what's dangerous. the bad habit.#bc that's what abusive people and organizations will tell you & it's also what addiction will tell you l#getting out is the dangerous part and then what do you do after. it's so much easier to be taken back sometimes
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If I think about the fact that Siffrin got hit by almost every member of the party Ill cry, no matter what happens Siffrin is always being hurt by their family and no one can do anything about it because Siffrin won't talk about it
#Isat#In stars and time#Isat siffrin#In stars and time Siffrin#Do y'all think about the fact that Mirabelle slapped Siffrin Odile uses Craft on Siffrin and Bonnie has slapped Siffrin's hands away#Do y'all think about the fact that Siffrin craves touch from everyone but the only person they initiated with pushed them away#Do y'all think about Siffrin telling his family important parts of his history specifically about the universe and stars and they tease him#Do y'all think about the fact that Siffrin has been hurt BADLY by their family in multiple ways that don't get resolved because of the loop#I just. I think about how badly Siffrin has been hurt and I can't bring myself to be too mad about the failed friendship quests#The trauma they've faced that doesnt have to do with the constant disregard from their family by itself makes it seem less bad#But add on the constant reframing and pain that comes from the families disregard or hurtful comments in the loops#And suddenly all I can think about is Siffrin saying ''if you want to yell at me'' and how that's not actually that much of an exaggerated#Thought to have when you have ample evidence that that is what happens! You get yelled at or hurt! If you hurt someone else!#I just think about it a lot cause most people... Don't bring up the fact that I think almost every party member has physically harmed Sif?#I just. Dear god. The guilt the pain.
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