#that would probably be a good habit to get into now 😬

[running-in-the-dark]

I spent all night organising/deleting files from my old phone (mostly just some basic sorting into types of files, for now). whyyyy do I have so many. how did I take 10,000 pictures in less than two years (that's when I last reset my phone; I've already deleted 2,000 that were just blurry photos of my cats). why do I have like 20gb of other images. what is all that??

[cupcakeslushie]

I have a question and you might’ve been asked before, but animation, do you have any tips for beginners? Love your content btw 🥰

Even tho my degree is in animation I must be honest…😬 nowadays I very often don’t have the patience for anything more complicated than animatics. So I’m trying to stick to tried and true advice lol…

Probably the biggest tip would be that, yes the beginner exercises may be boring, and not look very cool, but they are essential to getting those skills you need down. The flour sack exercise, the wave principle—doing squash and stretch, and timing studies to really nail the way that movements should “flow” properly. These are absolutely necessary skills to master if you want to make fluid animations.

Planning is also another important, but sometimes overlooked aspect of animation. Some ppl (read:me) wanna just jump straight to animating. But planning in those first simplest stages really helps save you headaches in the later stages, when things are getting more complicated and all over the place. Storyboarding helps you plot your timing, choosing where key shots will go, camera angles, pacing ect.

And speaking of camera angles. STUDY STUDY STUDY cinematography! Something doesn’t have to be animated for it to be applied to animation. Perspective is a massive beast to tackle once you start storyboarding and unless you want boring shots and stagnant compositional framing, you need to learn all the ways you can frame a scene and your characters! Idk if you’re up for watching some horror movies, but those are a great source to pull from, as they tend to always frame, pace and even light their shots in really interesting and dynamic ways!

It’s also great to practice with free programs before you spend money on things like a subscription for photoshop or any other fancy software. Most interfaces are similar enough, that beginning with something free like Rough Animator or Blender can give you some good practice before you commit!

That’s all I can think of right now! And sorry if that wasn’t exactly what you were looking for…if you want me to try to give more specific advice on something just drop me another ask—I’m willing to keep rambling on!

Lastly, just few good videos I have saved!

Good traditional habits for digital animators <- basically Toniko Pantoja’s whole channel is a goldmine of knowledge!

Drawing figures in perspective

Every Frame A Painting is also a great channel for breaking down film/composition/writing—there’s a video for virtually every aspect of cinema

-Chuck Jones -the evolution of an artist

-Akira Kurosawa- composing movement

-Satoshi Kon- editing space and time

[qedart]

Time Warp AU - #14 Well this update just didn't want to come together. But finally it's done (all 8K+ of it 😬) and I'm actually rather happy with how it turned out. So I hope you all enjoy this offering of Pete emotional H/C with a side of parental Icemav.

Honestly, Pete had never really got the big deal about birthdays. Sure, when he was little they seemed important. They’re supposed to, when you’re young. But he wasn’t a child anymore. 

He’d learned a long time ago that simply managing to make it through the year wasn’t exactly cause for celebration. A few rounds of people forgetting, ignoring, or scoffing at him for waiting for some kind of acknowledgment of the date had made it all very clear to him - nobody gives a damn about stuff like that, and you look pathetic if anybody catches on that you might. 

So he didn’t. Doesn’t. 

For the longest time now, the only real significance that that day held for him was as a marker of his being one year closer to independence. Living with Mav and Ice, even that didn’t provide the same spiteful satisfaction that it once had. 

These days, he didn’t count down the months until he was free of the people he found himself in the midst of. Quite the opposite really. Ice, Maverick, Tom, the Daggers, the uncles… they were good people. Good, kind, safe people - and they actually seemed to like Pete being around. 

Nothing lasts forever though, of course. He knew that. He was well aware that he was one big screw up away from blemishing whatever image they all had of him, one proper misstep from sending the whole house of cards he’d built around himself from falling to the ground in one way or another. And he was well overdue for one of those mistakes. Unfortunately, it was an inevitability. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Pete Mitchell messes up nice things. 

He tried not to let it bother him too much. 

It was better to just live in the moment, and at this particular moment he had far bigger concerns than inevitabilities or the fact that he was turning 17 in a week. The chief among them - Maverick was turning 60. 

Unlike Pete’s birthday, that was something significant. That was important. That was worthy of celebration. 

Up until this whole time-warp fiasco went down, Pete would have put money on him (any version of him) not making it past 30. 60 was double that! It demanded celebration, even if Mav himself had developed a habit of referring to the subject of his age merely as ‘the situation’.

So when Ice suggested a little lunchtime get-together by the Hard Deck the coming Saturday ‘for the birthday we’ve got coming up’, he agreed that it was a fantastic idea. 

“Penny’s got a barbecue there that we could use I’m pretty sure,” Tom chipped in over his cereal. 

“Nice. I’ll be there if there’s food,” Pete grinned as he made a bowl for himself. 

Tom rolled his eyes. 

“You were going to be there anyway, numb-skull.”

“Boys, please,” Ice sighed, before Pete could return fire. “I’ve not had my coffee yet, let’s just hold off on the bickering for a little while longer.”

Pete sniffed when Tom promptly shot him an exceedingly smug smirk. 

“I’d get drinking if I were you.”

“Pete.”

“Fine,” Pete huffed, before turning back to Ice. “The beach sounds great though. Want us to bring anything?”

“Just yourselves,” Ice replied, shaking his head. “Mav and I will sort out the logistics.”

And that was that. Party at the beach to celebrate Mav’s 60th, be there at 12. Sorted. 

The rest of the week went by like normal, for the most part. He was asked if he was excited about the party a bit more often than he expected he would be, but he figured it was just people making conversation. He and Tom spent most of Thursday trying to find the old man a fitting birthday present. 

“You’ve seen the hanger! How are we supposed to top that?!”

“I think we should probably start by setting our sights a little lower.”

In the end they decided to both go in on a new camera, figuring it was the most affordable of Mav’s hobbies to tap into. 

When the day itself eventually did roll around, Pete was up and out of bed by dawn. Not due to excitement, and not due to any additional birthday gestures like he’d been contemplating (a fry up was always a good start to the day, after all), no - due to Tom. 

“We’re going for a ride and you’re going to enjoy it,” he announced the second Pete woke (with a start, thanks to the other boy dropping his riding jacket and boots on top of him). “Up and at ‘em.” 

“But what about Mav’s-?”

“We’ll see him at the party, I’ve left a note,” Tom announced, grabbing the end of Pete’s quilt and dragging it out of the room with him. “Mush.”

“I hate you!”

“Hate me on the move. There is breakfast with our name on it somewhere.” 

“Ugh!” 

The ride, annoyingly, was fantastic. The roads were mostly clear, and riding with Tom was always a blast. Tom even bought him breakfast and a couple of pastries for after (“It’s your birthday, idiot. Of course I’m shouting”). It was… well, nice. Pete didn’t care about birthdays, he really didn’t, but even still… it was just nice. Sitting at the look out, munching on the food his best friend had bought for him, he found himself feeling genuinely content with life and how it was turning out. A year ago, he wouldn’t have been able to bring himself to even imagine that. It was a moment he resolved to savour. 

“You feel any different?” Tom asked, smirking as he dusted the icing sugar from his Pączki off his fingers. 

Pete scoffed at the question, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh yeah,” he replied, nodding seriously. “I feel like I’ve levelled up, you know? Way more mature now. I feel like I’ve really grown as a person.”

“And yet not an inch vertically? Life’s not fair, is it-?”

“Fuck you!”

Tom snickered, ducking out of the way of the hand Pete swung at the back of his head, before holding his own up in surrender. 

“Seriously though, happy birthday,” he said, shooting Pete a warm smile that made his stomach do that fluttering thing he’d noticed it doing more and more often lately. 

Smiling himself and ducking his head, Pete shrugged. 

“Thanks,” he said. “It’s not really a big deal.”

“Well as somebody with a vested interest in your being born, I reckon it is,” Tom retorted, rolling his eyes. 

Pete scoffed, a teasing grin tugging at his lips as he folded his arms over his knees. 

“A vested interest, huh?”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Nawww, you do like me,” Pete snickered. 

“You’re letting it get to your head.” 

“Is that why you brought me out here, to confess your undying love?” 

“In. your. dreams,” Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Bringing you out here was my present to both you and Mav.” 

“How is me going to go for a ride and being bought breakfast a present for Maverick? 

“You going for a ride and being bought breakfast means both you and I are here, not at home. Which means Mav and Ice have the whole place to themselves, all morning. And there’s no chance of either of us overhearing anything and being scarred for life.” 

Pete blinked at that, before pulling a face at the thought of Mav’s birthday ride and announcing, utterly serious, “You’re the best friend a guy could ever ask for.”

“I know,” Tom drawled, before shrugging as he tucked the rubbish from his breakfast into his backpack. “And maybe I wanted to get in first with the birthday wishes.” 

“Always a competition with you, isn’t it?” Pete scoffed, ignoring the other boy’s derisive snort as he jumped back to his feet. “Race you back to the Hard Deck!” 

“Absolutely not!” Tom snapped, hurrying to his feet all the same as Pete bounded over to the bikes. “That flies entirely in the face of the contract!” 

“I laugh in the face of the contract!”

“Yes! That’s why it took so long to draft! Pete!” 

They didn’t end up racing back, much to Tom’s relief. As a result, by the time they pulled up, pretty much everybody had arrived at the beach. Bradely, Hangman, and Phoenix were still by the Bronco though, pulling the last of their stuff out the back.

“Ah, the birthday boy has arrived,” Hangman cried as they wandered over.

“Ha ha,” Pete scoffed, rolling his eyes before turning to Rooster. “Hey, can we dump our helmets and stuff in your car?”

“Sure, the back seat should be free,” he replied as he hefted the cooler from the trunk. “But really, happy birthday, Pete.”

“Ah, thanks?” Pete replied, a confused smile tugging at his lips as he stepped out of the way for Tom to stow his stuff away as well. That’s two times today. Weird. 

“What’s with the face?” Phoenix asked, laughing. “17 is a big deal.”

Pete laughed. 

“Yeah right,” he replied, stooping to grab one of the bags from their pile. “16’s supposed to be a big deal, and 18 definitely is. 17’s just there.”

“Agree to disagree. But, that raises a good question,” replied Jake, a mischievous grin spread across his face. “What sort of Sweet 16 fiasco are we competing with today?” 

Pete arched a brow at the question, but figured it made sense. Out of all the milestone birthdays, 16 was the only relevant one he and Mav had an overlap on. Though he wasn’t sure how much “I spent most of it in the ER with a broken arm’ would help with gauging the temperature for how this one was going.

Instead he just shrugged. 

“Nothing really special. I’m sure this’ll be way better.”

“That’s what we’re aiming for,” Jake replied with a grin, ruffling Pete’s hair (and then, far more amusingly, Tom’s), before leading the way over to the sand. 

Pete blinked as they drew closer. A lot of people had turned up. All of the daggers were here, pitching up chairs and umbrellas or tossing a football (actually, two footballs) around while almost all the uncles and even Viper milled about among them. Mav, Ice, Slider, and Penny were getting the barbecue started, chatting with Warlock and Cyclone (which was weird, but probably Ice’s doing). He even spotted Amelia and Theo slip out of the Hard Deck, deep in conversation with Hondo (about something nerdy and interesting no doubt) to join the group. 

“Damn, Mav sure invited a lot of people for someone who pulls faces whenever anybody utters the number 60 around him,” he laughed as he hefted the bag further up his shoulder. “Or are you all gatecrashing just to torment him?”

Jake snorted at that, rolling his eyes. 

“Nah. Though he is being a baby about it, so if we did it would be his own fault,” he replied. 

“He actually ordered us not to mention ‘the situation’ the other day,” Bradley scoffed, shaking his head.

“In fairness, Roo - you and Bagman were having a lot of fun at his expense,” said Phoenix as they all dropped their bags on the sand and set about making camp. She grinned at Pete and Tom. “There have been lots of fossil jokes. These two even smuggled a walker on base and swapped it with his lectern before debrief. He had to walk it to the side of the classroom.”

“Cruel,” Tom snickered from beside him. “Funny, but cruel.”

“You know it,” Jake cackled, dropping his bags down on the sand before stretching his arms over his head. “But nah, he’s opted out of a group celebration. Don’t know why. But I’m afraid that means you’re flying solo today, baby bro.”

Pete blinked again. 

“...I’m what?”

“You’ve got the spotlight pretty much to yourself today,” Bradley replied, shrugging like it was the simplest thing. “Apparently he’s got some day-trip planned with Ice tomorrow, so he’s sorted. That just leaves you with all of the attention. Reckon you can handle that?”

…Shit. 

Shit, shit shit - he had not prepared for this. He’d not expected this. What the hell even was this?! He’s turning 17. Who gives a shit?! Why the hell would all of these people come out here, some of them a hell of a long way, just for him?! They wouldn’t. Had they not been told it was just for him? Did Mav wriggle out of this at the last second and now he had 20+ people who’d pretty much written off half their weekend for no reason on his hands? 

“Pete, you alright?” Tom asked, shaking his shoulder, a worried expression on his face. 

Pete grimaced, before glancing around at the others and finding them all looking at him with concern. 

He pulled on a wide grin and laughed. 

“Me? Yeah, of course!” he replied cheerily, mind racing all the while. He needed a minute to himself. To come up with a plan. To fix this. 

Quickly turning back to the others, slapping his forehead as he did, he said, “You know what? I think I left my phone on my bike. Just gonna go grab that, can’t lose another one. Are you guys good here for a sec?”

“I mean, yeah,” Tom said slowly, frowning. 

“Great!” Pete cheered (perhaps a bit too overzealously, but whatever) before spinning around and, with a quick “Back in a moment!” taking off back up the beach. 

Right, step one, calm the hell down. He had to get a hold of himself and he had to do it now. 

Alright, it was a surprise. Alright, there were probably going to be some irritated people down there. So what? He could deal with irritated people. He could deal with people that actively wanted to kick his ass, irritated is nothing. Why the hell was he freaking out so much? Less than a year of being treated nicely and he’d gone completely soft, seriously?

He shook his head roughly. 

He was fine. This was fine. He’d make it work somehow. He just needed to stop acting like a baby and come up with a plan of action. 

He could direct attention back to Maverick. The old man can try and wriggle out of it all he likes but two can play this game. He’ll stick around for an hour, direct as much attention to Mav as possible, whip Jake and Bradely up into enough of a frenzy to keep the momentum going and then make a classy exit. Nobody will even remember he was here and they’ll forget all about this misunderstanding. That’s good. That’ll work. 

…Unless Mav launches a counter-attack. Which he would. 

Shit!

“Pete?” 

Pete whirled around and found Mav and Ice approaching, both looking concerned and not all that surprised to see him up here. Goddamnit, Tom, the snitch!!

“What’s going on, kiddo?” Mav asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“I mean, that’s a pretty good question man,” Pete replied, running a hand through his hair anxiously as he glanced down at the beach once more before turning his attention (and frustration) back to the older man. “I get that you’ve got some sort of three quarter life crisis going on about turning 60, but seriously, throwing me under the bus so you can avoid that is a dick move.” 

Mav, the bastard, looked more confused than chastened at the rebuke, exchanging a bemused glance with Ice. 

“You’re going to have to spell this one out for us, buddy.”

Pete groaned, folding his hands on top of his head. 

“First, explain it to me, guys,” he replied. “What was the plan? Trick everyone here by saying it’s a party for Mav and then hope people aren’t too put out when it turns out it was for the other Mitchell? Jeez guys, I mean, what the hell? Why the hell?! Nobody gives a damn it’s my birthday. I don’t give a damn it’s my birthday. Now it looks like I do, and now I get to look like the stupid little moron who needed people tricked here to pad things out!”

“Pete,” Ice said slowly, holding his hands out like he was trying to calm down some wounded animal. Like Pete was being irrational about this. “You do know this party is for you, right?”

“Yes,” Pete replied with every ounce of patience he possessed. “I’m aware of that. That’s exactly my point”

“No. He means it was always intended to be just for you,” Mav weighed in. 

Pete sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried his very best to channel Ice and remain as diplomatic as he possibly could (it did not help, mind you, that Ice was joining in on this nonsense. But he tried nevertheless). 

“Look,” he said with forced calm, “I see what you’re trying to do, and it’s a nice thought. I appreciate that you guys care and want to make a fuss, I do. But you can’t just expect to trick people into writing off half their weekend for one thing, and then bait and switch with a discount offer at the last second. Wood and Wolf flew in from Texas for this, guys. Please. I’ll see if I can get the Daggers to lay off the fossil jokes, but- …what’s this?”

“Read it,” Ice replied, holding his phone out to Pete until he took it and did as he was told. 

Jake has named the group chat: Big Effing Deal Jake: First of all, how. dare. you? Nat: Seconded! Both for leaving us out and forcing me to agree with Bagman. Jake: Look what you’ve brought us too!!!  Nat: I feel physically sick.  Jake: Ditto. Bradley: Wow, you guys really are in sync today.  Nat: You take that back!!! Ice: Could somebody please explain what we’re being accused of here.  Jake: Betrayal!!!  Coyote: Dude - you’ve been hitting the expresso machine again, haven’t you? Mav: Guys. BOB: Rooster mentioned you are having a get together for Pete’s birthday on Saturday and we’re all handling the rejection differently. Fanboy: How could you, Mav? Mav: Well first, there’s no rejection for anybody to handle. We floated the idea of a beach party this morning and he seemed alright with it. So if you guys are free and want to come along, you’re more than welcome to.  Jake: Was that so hard?!!!! Mav: If you’d waited a few more hours I’d have invited you in person at work tomorrow. Jake: But Roo gets his invite right away??? :(  Ice: Rooster was over during the day, so yes, he heard first. Rooster: Remember how you were supposed to help me fix their gate today?  Jake: Nope. Poorly communicated on your part.  Jake: Moving swiftly on - we need times. And gift ideas. Nat: What a crappy brother. I got my present for him weeks ago.  Payback: Burn.  Payback: Also, same. Jake: You’re a pair of goody-goodies, I’m not surprised in the slightest.  Jake: Besides it doesn’t matter how early you got it. It’s how good it is. Nat: Got you beat there too Bagman.  Jake: Bullshit. Pete and I have a connection.  Payback: Is that what we’re calling you being a terrible influence now? Coyote: Just before these three properly kick off - is this a joint birthday bash? Or Pete-specific? Mav: Pete specific.  Mav: I’ve already got plans for mine.  Ice: And by that he means I have already made plans for him.  Ice: They’re on Sunday though, so we’ll be there regardless.  Mav: And people think I’m the competitive one. My point is, I’m covered, so don’t go worrying about that. Coyote: Roger that!  Fanboy: This is going to be great!! I can bake a cake if you like!!! Lil bro likes chocolate, right? Payback: Guys - take him up on the offer!  Phoenix: This! ^^^^^ Ice: That would be lovely, Fanboy, thank you. And yes, chocolate would be well received I expect.  Fanboy: Yeeeeeesssss!!  Mav: Right, we’re just going to leave you guys to this.  Rooster: Oh, actually, just before you go… Bradley’s added Sly-Guy, Chip_P, E!News, Full_M00ning…  Mav: Oh you little shit stirrer.  Sli-Guy: First of all, how dare you?! 

Pete blinked, utterly mystified, as he scrolled through the group chat (which seemed to go on for quite a bit) before eventually turning back to Ice and Mav. 

“I… I don’t understand,” he uttered. 

“Join the club, kiddo,” Mav replied, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You helped plan this,” Ice pointed out, a baffled expression on his ordinarily nonplussed face. “I specifically asked you if you would like a party at the Hard Deck?” 

“I thought you were asking for my input for Mav’s party,” Pete muttered, his cheeks blazing with embarrassment as he realised just how stupid he apparently was. 

“The daggers have been talking to you about it all week?” Mav pointed out, equally confused. “Bob asked you what snacks you’d like him to bring.” 

“I thought they were coming to me because they couldn’t get anything out of you!” Pete snapped back hotly. 

Ice held up a hand, cutting that line of conversation off before it could get too heated. Taking a deep, exceedingly put upon breath, he sighed “Once again, it appears that this family’s outstanding communication skills have come back to bite us all in the ass.”

He turned back to Pete.  

“If it’s any consolation, it wasn’t meant to be a surprise party,” he said.

Pete scoffed softly, in spite of himself, but soon enough the begrudging amusement gave way to confusion once more. 

“I still don’t understand,” he said. “Why would all of them come out if they knew it was just for me?” 

“How’s it any different from them coming out for me?” Maverick asked with a frown.

Pete shrugged. 

“They’re your family,” he replied simply. “They’re supposed to show up for you.” 

“They’re your family too,” Maverick argued, his frown deepening. 

“You do know that, don’t you?” Ice said slowly, eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

“Yeah. Course,” Pete muttered, cutting a quick glance to the group in question. Nobody seemed to have noticed they were gone yet, thank goodness. Somehow Pete felt like he’d find himself even more outnumbered if they did. He had to bury this quick though, if he wanted to avoid that fate. 

Unfortunately, when he turned back to the oldtimers, Ice had his signature ‘so you’re just going to lie to my face now?’ expression in place. Never a good sign. Also almost never directed at Pete he realised with a dull pain. 

“You know, you pull that face every time this topic of conversation comes up.”

“What face?” 

“The ‘well if it makes them happy’ face,” Ice replied, folding his arms over his chest. “Be honest with us, Pete. What’s going on here?”

Pete shrunk back a little at that, feeling very much under a spotlight all of a sudden and not entirely sure why. 

“N-nothing. Nothing’s going on.”

“Well clearly something is. And just to be clear, do you honestly believe that we’d have all been fine throwing a party for Maverick and doing absolutely nothing for you?” the older man asked, arching a brow pointedly. 

“I… I mean… I… I’d get it,” Pete stuttered, heart pounding in his chest. What the hell was going on? What did he even do? He took a step back, giving into the instinct to at least be out of arm's length, only to knock into the back of Ice’s Jeep when he tried. Crap. He was trapped. And he was in trouble. And he didn’t know why. 

His alarm must have shown on his face too, because soon enough Ice was taking a step back himself, hands held up disarmingly. 

“Pete, I’m not angry with you,” he said, calmly and far gentler than before. “I’m sorry.”

Pete swallowed thickly, but nodded all the same as he tried to rein himself in, to calm down for goodness sake. He was being so damn stupid!!

“I just don’t understand,” Ice continued. “You know everybody here loves you, don’t you? We haven’t dropped the ball that much I hope.” 

Embarrassment and shame twisted sickeningly in the pit of Pete’s belly. Because he did know that. He knew how hard everybody had tried to make him and Tom feel welcome. And not just as novelty extensions of Mav and Ice either, but as their own, separate people. They’d all tried so hard to bring them into the family and make them feel like they belonged in it, Pete knew it. He saw it each day. For the most time, he felt it too, but there was just this part of him that wouldn’t allow him to accept it fully. Wouldn’t allow him to trust it. To trust them. 

“I’m sorry,” he uttered weakly, staring down at the tips of his boots. “I… I know it doesn’t make sense. It’s not anything you guys have done, or haven’t done. I know how much you’ve all tried to be welcoming. And you have, truly. I love it here… so much. But… but every time I try to… it’s just in the back of my mind I’m always… I…” 

He flinched sharply when something touched his arm, but it was just Ice reaching out to him. All of a sudden, that contact, that offer of reassurance was all he wanted. Sighing heavily he stepped forward and leaned against the old man’s chest, dragging in a deep, calming breath as Ice’s arms wrapped around him, squeezed him in a tight. 

“I love it here,” he uttered. “And everybody here… and I know they- you all care - about me and Tom. But I just know…” 

He sighed deeply. 

“It’s just… self-preservation, I guess. I know it’s going to really hurt, so much, when I mess up.  I didn’t care, when it was just some other home I was stuck in longer than usual, but now… now it’s probably too late already. When I mess up and have to go-”

“Hey, who said anything about you going anywhere,” Ice said with a frown, holding him closer. “We told you, you have a place in this family for life. Nothing will change that.”

Pete sighed sadly, shaking his head where it was pressed to Ice’s sternum. They didn’t get it. They felt that way now, but it wouldn’t last. 

“No matter how hard you try, you’re going to end up alone.” 

Both Pete and Ice froze at that, before turning to face Maverick, who looked all the world like he’d just commented on the weather rather than putting one of Pete’s deepest, most painful fears to words. And he wasn’t done. 

“We’re going realise just how messed up you really are. How much damage has been done. How much of it can’t be undone. And, most importantly, how much of it you probably deserved. And sooner or later we’ll change our mind about you. It’s all well and good to say we’ll always want you in the family if we haven’t seen the full picture yet, because let’s face it, you’re on the good behaviour streak of a lifetime right now. But sooner or later, you’re going to mess up, because that’s what you do. And then we’ll see the real you. The screw up. The waste of space. The guy everybody else can see clearly. Eventually the rose-coloured glasses will come off and  we’ll really see you for what you are. We’ll get tired of trying to bring somebody into a family who doesn’t deserve to be in it and clearly is meant to be on their own. It’ll be better for everyone to just stop trying. We probably won’t kick you out, to be fair - but when you head off to college or the academy… the calls and emails will peter out. Tom will probably find his own people too, when he’s got other options. He’ll stop spending time with you too. It’ll probably be pretty amicable really. But everybody will just go on with their life and there will be no room for you in them. That will be that. Better to just accept it now, try not to get too attached to how things are, so when it happens, at least you won’t look like you were blindsided by it all. It’s a bit less pathetic if you at least saw it coming.” 

Pete’s stomach sunk so fast through the blacktop it felt like he was pulling negative G’s. Mav knew. Mav saw how this was going to play out just as clearly as he did. The first card in his little house was beginning to wobble. 

To his horror he felt his face beginning to heat up and his eyes beginning to sting. He dragged in a deep, shuddering breath, squeezing them shut tight. He wasn’t a baby. This wasn’t a surprise. He wasn’t going to start crying in the middle of the car park where everybody could see him like some child. 

He jumped as an arm wrapped around his shoulders and looked up to find Ice, holding him close again, and leading them to the space between his jeep and Bradley’s Bronco - more or less out of sight from the rest of the group.

“Sit down and take a few deep breaths for me, kiddo,” he murmured, manoeuvring Pete until he was sitting down on the gravel, back pressed against the rubber of the Bronco’s tyre. Biting his lip, he folded his arms tight over his chest, knees drawing up as Ice kneeled down beside him and wrapped an arm back around his shoulders, rubbing up and down his arm soothingly all the while.. “In and out. Just like that. What the hell, Mav?” 

“Just trying to work out what we’re dealing with here,” Maverick replied, sounding tired and sad now. “Pete, can you look at me?”

Pete really didn’t want to. This was all humiliating and painful enough without risking bursting into tears the second he made eye contact with the old man as well. But, at the same time, this was the reality of the situation, and closing his eyes and hiding from it wasn’t going to change anything either, except to make him look even more childish. So whether he wanted to or not, he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Clenching his jaw tight and breathing in deeply through his nose, he (as resolutely as he could manage) lifted his head and met Mav’s eye. He wasn’t expecting to be met with a sympathetic expression. How could Mav see him so clearly, and still look at him like that. 

“Does that about sum it up?” the old man asked, cocking his head to the side. “What’s going on in that head of yours.”

Scrubbing roughly at his face, Pete nodded his head. 

“M-more or less.” 

Mav hummed thoughtfully, pausing a moment, before smiling and sitting down properly across from them. 

“You know,” he said, leaning back on his hands. “The first time I met Carole, she scared that absolute crap out of me.” 

Pete blinked, confused at the strange turn their conversation had taken, but interested all the same. Mav wasn’t shy with talking about Goose or Carole, but he’d never heard that. 

A fond smile tugged at the edges of the old man’s mouth as he looked up wistfully at the sky. 

“People underestimated her. She was so loud and joyous all the time, most people figured she was probably a bit dim. But they had no idea. Sure she was smart enough, but her real strength was with people. She had this way of looking at a person, just looking at them, and seeing past all the bullshit.”

He shook his head. 

“The first shore leave after Goose and I became a team, Goose insisted that I come home with him. He hadn’t realised until we were literally docking that I didn’t have anywhere to go, so the second he put the pieces together it was, ‘Come on, you have to, Mav! It’ll be great. You can meet Carole. You guys will get on like a house on fire, I know it’. And I, for the life of me, couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse to convince him otherwise. I think I was a bit blindsided that he was offering to spend more time together at all.” 

He scoffed. 

“Either way, the pressure was dialled up to 11,” he drawled. “Not only would I have to stay on my best behaviour for even longer, to keep Goose on side - and I’d been on a 6 month streak at that point and felt the end looming. But I also had to become best friends with his wife, immediately. Otherwise he’d wonder how he got that one so wrong. Then he’d look closer, and he’d see everything he’d somehow missed about me before. See exactly where I was lacking. Me getting to keep the one person in the navy, hell, the one person in the world that gave a damn about me - depended on this month going well.”

Rubbing at his scratchy eyes, Pete leaned a little more into Ice’s side, before asking. “You managed to pull that off?”

“Hell no, I lasted less than a week,” Mav scoffed, shaking his head. “And it only lasted that long because Goose and Carole had the patience of saints.”

Pete frowned. That didn’t make sense. He might not know this story but he knew a hell of a lot of the others that came later. He knew Mav stayed friends with Goose, and Carole as well, for years after when this would have happened. How could it not have worked? How did he screw up that badly and still manage to keep them around? 

He shot Ice a confused glance, receiving a ‘just roll with it’ shrug in response. 

“Carole was living in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere Texas at the time. Her aunt needed help moving or something. Unfortunately that meant I had had about six hours of travelling to work myself up and come up with a game plan for how I was going to make it all work. Going in with a charm offensive wouldn’t have done it, Goose would feel like making moves on his wife, Carole would feel like I was a creep, and I’d be stuck with both of them feeling like that for a month. I couldn’t risk being myself, for reasons already discussed. So I decided on the red carpet treatment. From the second I got out of Goose’s truck to the second we got back in it to head back to the airport, Carole Bradshaw would be shown a level of respect and deference that no admiral had or has ever received from me. The queen of England could have come around and found it excessive. But it was the best I had.

“I addressed her as ma’am, I stood when she walked into the room or got up from the table, I tried to help out around the house as much as I possibly could. A big part of the plan was also trying to give her and Goose as much space and time to themselves as possible. I wasn’t supposed to be there, and the absolute last thing I wanted is for them to miss out on time together because Goose felt obliged to bring me along with him. On paper, I thought it worked. Be respectful and stay out of the way. Unfortunately, in practice it went more along the lines of me actively avoiding everybody like it was my job and, whenever I couldn’t, making the situation so awkward it was uncomfortable for everybody. And it was uncomfortable. My god. Goose and Carole, they tried so hard to get me to relax, come out of my shell, do the exact opposite of what I was trying to do essentially. It was not going well,” Mav laughed, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head at the memory. 

“Goose knew I was acting off, which was putting me even more on edge. And I knew I was quickly moving past that ‘meeting new people is awkward sometimes’ grace period straight into ‘this little twerp I’ve known for a few months has got a problem with the love of my life’ territory. So not ideal. And Carol… Carol knew from the beginning that I was putting up a front, which made settling around her pretty much impossible.”

Pete grimaced sympathetically at the thought of it all. 

“At least you stuck it out,” he muttered. “I would have just left at that point.”

“Oh, I did,” Mav replied without missing a beat. “About five days in everything finally bubbled over. Goose tried to coax me into telling him what was wrong for about the millionth time and… well, after days of constantly being on red alert, barely sleeping from the stress, just second guessing every single move or sound I made while knowing, in spite of trying my best, it was all going to hell - I sort of lost it on him. Told him he could take whatever friendship he thought we had and shove it where the sun don’t shine because I sure as hell didn’t need it or him. That I'd been on my own for over half my life and I didn’t need anybody, thank you very much, least of all some hapless, sheltered country-boy who clearly didn’t know what was good for him if it smacked him in the face. Then I grabbed my bag and went straight to the train station.”

Pete blinked owlishly at that, confused to say the least. 

“But I thought Goose was your best friend,” he said. 

“He was,” Mav replied. 

“Even after that?!” 

“I know, I was surprised too.” 

Pete frowned, puzzling it over as Mav laughed softly and shook his head.. 

“This being the tiny town it was, the train didn’t run very often, and I’d missed the one for that day - which was just the cherry on the top really. I figured I’d just spend the night on the platform. Didn’t want to risk missing the next one, and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself at the time so it seemed fitting. Which was exactly where Carole found me three hours later.”

Ice scoffed softly beside Pete, shaking his head with a fond smile of his own. 

“Mother Goose sent in the big guns then,” he drawled. 

“I honestly have no idea if Goose even knew,” Mav replied, smiling reminiscently himself. “I think she just figured she’d given us both enough time to sulk and decided enough was enough.” 

He chuckled, tilting his head back as he recalled the encounter. 

“She came over and sat down on the ground beside me,” he said, looking around them, the corner of his lips twitching a fraction higher. “Sorta like we are right now.”

Pete smiled weakly at that. 

“She sat with me for the longest time, didn’t say a word, just waited me out, until she could tell I was ready to actually listen to her. Then she took my hand and said, “You know what, honey? If you were half as rotten as you’re afraid you are, you wouldn’t care nearly as much as you do”.”

Pete ducked his head as, all at once, tears started welling up once again. God he wanted that to be true. With every fibre of his being he did. He bit his lip as he felt Ice pull him a little tighter against his side, and heard Mav scoot closer himself, reaching out and rubbing his arm himself. 

“Do you think she was right about that,” he uttered, voice crackling with the strain of keeping himself together. 

Mav smiled, squeezing Pete’s arm gently as he inclined his head. 

“Honestly, I always had my doubts,” he confessed. “But these days… I think she probably was.” 

Before he could stop them, a couple of the tears Pete had been battling against broke free and rolled down his cheeks. 

“Oh, buddy,” Mav sighed, reaching up to rub the moisture away. “I’m so sorry. Sometimes I forget how much all of that stuff hurt.” 

Pete leaned into the contact, the corner of his mouth twitching a little as he did so.

“Actually pretty good to hear that from my perspective,” he murmured, drawing soft scoffs from the oldtimers. 

Shaking his head fondly, Mav patted Pete’s arm one last time before folding them over his crossed legs. 

“I’m telling you this for two reasons,” he said, ducking his head to meet Pete’s eye once again. “First, and I really am sorry for this but, unfortunately, this is just one of those cards that you and I got dealt. This is something that you were always going to have to work through. Being on your own for so long, and getting told so many times and in so many ways that nobody wants you, and nobody will ever want you - it leaves a mark. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It's just a hurdle that we get that some people don’t. Everyone’s got their own set. For us - it’s being very, very aware of just how much other people can hurt you, while at the same time knowing how much the alternative hurts too.”

Pete sighed softly, but nodded all the same. That point wasn’t exactly news to him, but it still sucked hearing it all the same. 

“And second,” Mav said, reaching out and brushing Pete’s hair back from his face with a small, reassuring smile. “Even though it doesn’t always feel like it, and that feeling will flare up from time to time unfortunately, some people really do stay.”

Pete lifted his head to look at the old man properly, something like hope fluttering weakly in the pit of his belly. 

“They stick by you as long as they possibly can, through more crap than you could possibly imagine. I know it’s hard to really let yourself believe that right now. I know it feels like the second you do it’ll all fall apart around you, like a house of cards. But that will fade with time and with evidence. You’re just going to have to trust me until then. You’re not meant to be alone. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong or bad about you. The people who are worth a damn, they stay - you just have to let them in in the first place.”

The older man leaned closer, whispering conspiratorially, “Just be careful, because once you do, it’s all bets off. I had one moment of weakness around Slider 36 years ago and now I’m stuck with him.” 

Pete laughed wetly at that, smiling back as Mav practically beamed at him. 

“I hope you’re right,” he uttered, rubbing again at his face. 

“I am,” Mav replied, nodding firmly. “And look, I’m not going to lie to you and promise forever. Nobody knows what’s around the corner. Hell, a tsunami could take us all out right now.” 

Pete scoffed softly, rolling his eyes as Maverick ruffled his hair teasingly. 

“But the stuff you’re worried about, the mistakes you’re worried about making, I’m sorry but they’re just not gonna cut it.” 

Ice nodded at that. 

“Unfortunately, to shake us at this point you’d have to do things that you’re simply not capable of. And they certainly wouldn’t be accidental.” 

Pete frowned slightly, glancing between the two of them. 

“...Could you give me a clue?” he asked. “You know, to be safe.”

Ice scoffed softly, before cocking his head to the side thoughtfully.

“Alright. We’re talking about doing things that would deliberately traumatise others. Not accidents, like a car crash or getting in a really bad fight, though we’d all rather you avoided that too. Stuff that’s just evil. Things specifically done to make somebody else feel afraid or humiliated or less than” Ice replied calmly, brow rising pointedly. “Do you feel that avoiding that sort of behaviour would be a struggle for you?”

“Fuck, no,” Pete replied, nose wrinkling at the thought of doing anything along those lines.

Ice  nodded. 

“There you go. There’s the bar,” he replied simply. “Anything above that? Worst case scenario, you’re the pain in the ass of the week. And that’s a title we’ve all held at one point or another.”

“Even you?”

“Unjustly,” he sniffed. 

“Ask Uncle Sli about it some time,” Mav replied without missing a beat, before turning back to Pete before Ice could retort. “Honestly kiddo, do you really think Bradely was an angel growing up?” 

“Well… yeah?”

“Think again,” Ice drawled. 

Mav hummed, nodding seriously. 

“Off the top of my head, there was that time he threw a party with his baseball team while we were out of town and trashed the house.”

“The bike he borrowed without asking, rode unlicensed, and totalled - on a dare.” 

“The kitchen he nearly burned down because ‘guys - you can’t pause online games, how many times do I have to tell you?’ and ‘I want bacon’ turned out to be a bad mix.”

“The spy-phase that ended with him trying to sneak onto a military base, ours that is, and then refusing to answer any questions or co-operate after getting caught.” 

“I maintain that that was mostly Hollywood’s fault for taking him to watch True Lies.” 

Pete blinked, stunned by the antics of, by far, one of the more mature ‘big brothers’ he had. 

Ice scoffed, rolling his eyes with a fond smile. 

“And we still love the kid. Did back then when it happened and through much less amusing run-ins too,” he said, before squeezing Pete a little tighter to his side. “So try not to worry so much. You’re a kid, you’re supposed to do stupid things. Mav does stupid things every other day and we still keep him around. And that’s these days. He was an absolute menace when I first met him. And six years older than you are now. You’re a dream in comparison.”

Mav huffed. 

“You are a delight,” he said, patting Pete on the shoulder, before shooting his husband a pointed look. “But I think some people are forgetting which one of us introduced himself by immediately talking shit.”

“We were competing and the fact that you still bring it up almost 40 years later just further emphasises what a sound psychological victory that introduction was for me.”

“I mean I wanted to kick your ass all the more afterwards, so I’m not sure how much of a victory it was.”

“Well you never did, so a big one I would say.”

“Bullshit I never did-!”

“Go-ddddddd,” Pete groaned, though he couldn’t help but grin at the bickering, which, in the span of 10 months, had somehow become the comforting soundtrack of home for him (which probably said a lot about Ice and Maverick, but who cares). “Wher’es Tom when you need him?”

“Our point,” Ice said pointedly, shooting Mav a look that said quite clearly ‘we’re supposed to be a united front, genius (also, you know I’m right), “Is that you’re going to make mistakes. Everybody does. You’re going to do stupid things, things that we don’t approve of. And, because we’re here to help you become the best person you can be, we’ll call you out on it. At one point or another, we’ll disagree, we’ll argue, feelings will probably get hurt, egos will get bruised. And then, we’re going to be here anyway. Because you’re a member of this family and that’s not going to change.” 

“And we’ll remind you of that however many times you need,” Mav replied, smiling warmly at him, before slapping his own knees and leaning back. “Now, how would you like to proceed from here? Are you alright breaking the Birthday Drought today or would you like to go home and we can just have a nice family dinner tonight. Which would you rather?”

Pete bit his lip, fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of his t-shirt. 

“I guess I… I wouldn’t mind staying,” he replied, his heart and stomach fluttering again at the thought of all these people, his family, turning up just for him. But this time, he found his emotions leaning more on the side of nervous excitement rather than all-consuming dread. “I mean, It’s been a minute.” 

“You’re sure?” Ice asked seriously, rubbing Pete’s back reassuringly. “Don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.” 

Pete ducked his head, a small smile spreading across his face as, for the first time since this whole miscommunication came to light, and before that really, something seemed to settle inside of him. Some knot of tension that had been there for so long that he’d just learned to live with it, seemed to ease just the littlest bit. He did not doubt, for a second, that if he decided to leave now, Ice and Mav (and Tom) would cover for him, would back him up and stand in his corner. Whether they needed to or not, and Pete suspected things would probably topple in the direction of ‘not’ because the others would understand.

Drawing in a deep, calming breath (like Ice had been teaching him) he lifted his head a smiled a little wide. 

“I want to,” he said. “Seriously, if I ever say no to chocolate cake I want you to assume that somebody’s stolen my face and is impersonating me.” 

“Mark that down for both of us,” Mav replied, nodding empathetically. 

“Noted,” Ice scoffed, smiling as the three of them got back to their feet. “In that case, we should probably get back. Tom said he’d try to keep them all in one place to give us a moment alone but the fact that he seems to have managed it is making me nervous.” 

Pete snickered as Mav shot him an amused grin, before they both followed Ice back to the beach. It turned out the old man may have been right to worry. 

“In my defence,” Tom drawled as he jogged over to meet them. “I didn’t expect them all to lose their minds.” 

Pete felt like that was a pretty accurate description for the mayhem they’d just walked into. Almost all the daggers and a few of the flyboys were shouting, waving their arms about, jabbing fingers in faces or, in Fanboy’s case, cackling rather manically. And those that weren’t seemed content to either enjoy the show or stoke the fires all the more. It was pandemonium. 

“What did you do?” Ice sighed as they drew closer. 

Tom shrugged. 

“I casually mentioned that Pete and I watched Die Hard for the first time, and asked what other Christmas movies we should watch. And, well...” 

“IT’S SET ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BAGMAN!!! HOW MUCH MORE OBVIOUS DO YOU NEED IT?!” 

“THAT’S ALL YOU’VE GOT! IT’S AN ACTION MOVIE-”

“ON CHRISTMAS EVE!” 

“OH MY GOD! SO WHAT?! SO WHAT?!!” 

“Well, it did distract them,” Ice replied, arching a brow as he took it all in. “They’re going to go full Lord of the Flies any moment now, but it worked.” 

Tom grinned, before slinging an arm around Pete’s shoulders and drawling, “Wanna make it worse?”

“You’ve been a terrible influence on him,” Ice sighed, shooting Mav a despairing glance as Pete laughed softly and shrugged. 

“Sure.”

Tom winked before calling over the noise, “Alright, maybe Die Hard can go one way or the other-”

“NO IT CAN’T,” Jake and Nat hollered in unison, before immediately shooting each other disgusted glares. 

“But surely we can all agree that Nightmare before Christmas-” 

And they were off again, with renewed vigour and with previous alliances suddenly shattered. 

Pete laughed as he took it all in. Tom’s arm around his shoulders; Mav and Ice squeezing his arm and ruffling his hair respectively as they walked by to try and reign in the chaos; Rooster and Hangman each elbowing their way through the crowd, hollering for him to back them up. 

The fears were still there, bubbling away beneath the surface. Pete felt that they probably always would. Allowing himself to stay this attached, to actually believe that maybe this time, just this once, things truly would turn out different… it was risky. Frankly it was downright dangerous. 

“Right, enough of this!!” Rooster hollered over the noise. “Let’s settle this properly.” 

“Agreed,” Jake replied, nodding firmly. “Dogfight football. I bags the babies.” 

“What?!” 

“You can’t take both of them!”

“Can. Did. Pete, Tom, come on.” 

Sometimes, the risks were worth taking. And, well, he’d always liked to think he was a little dangerous.

[gagmewitha-spork]

English Lessons (Leila Ouahabi x reader)

Warnings: none.

Description: Reader trying to teach Leila English is not going as well as hoped, but why?

Notes: hey! remember me? probably not, but I started writing this in like December and only just got it finished, I’ve got a couple of other fics in the works but going on how long this took to write it’ll probably be a while before they’re out 😬 (also not my gif, can’t remember where I saved it from tho so sorry if it’s yours)

Word count: 2460

“Leila”, you pause, rubbing your eyes, “this clearly isn’t working”, you speak in Spanish. You had spent four years playing for Atletico Madrid and had picked up the language surprisingly easy, so as a result of your fluency in her native tongue, Leila had immediately used her charm to convince you to help teach her English. The thing is, it was not going well, it seemed that she had reached a point and stayed there. You hadn’t seen any improvement in her ability to speak your native language for weeks now and you were honestly loosing hope, “I think you should just speak to the club, they can get you a proper teacher, which, might I remind you, you should have had from the beginning”.

“I don’t want another teacher”, she replies, in perfect, though still heavily accented, English.

“Well something here clearly isn’t working because every time we come in here you just get worse if anything”, you throw your hands in the air, feeling exasperated at the situation.

“I’m not”, Leila insists, “I am better, I just���, she pauses deciding whether of not she wanted to tell you the real reason she wasn’t improving, “look y/n”, she starts, beginning to reach out and take one of your hands in hers, but is cut off as the door to the conference room you’re currently sat in swings open, revealing your other Spanish teammate.

“Steph sent me to come and get you both”, Laia starts, speaking Spanish, “trainings starting earlier than planned because of the rain forecast for later”, she explains, “they want to get on before the pitch gets too bad”, she finishes and quickly disappears back out the door, not leaving either of you any time to ask questions.

“We better go”, you tell Leila, picking up the English practice books the club had provided you.

“Y/n”, Leila said, grabbing onto your hand before you could disappear after Laia, “my English is good”, she insists, though saying it in Spanish left you unconvinced, “you’re a good teacher, I don’t want another one”.

“Maybe try saying that in English and I might believe you”, you reply, your tone dejected. You left the room, heading straight to the locker room, before she could hold you back any more.

Leila pauses for a minute before following after you, hitting her head gently against the wall after you’d left, “Idiota, idiota, idiota”, she repeats quietly to herself as she does so, “solo decirle”, (just tell her) she mumbles to herself, throwing her hands in the air as she follows after you towards to locker room to get ready for training.

——

Training went well, the rain held off until the last few minutes so while you were definitely all completely drenched, the mud wasn’t too bad.

“Ice baths?”, Laia suggested to you as you all made your way back inside. It had become a habit that you, her and Leila would all go to the ice baths together after training or a game. Your ability to speak Spanish, and previous friendship Laia, having played at Atleti together along with Deyna, had meant you had developed quite a close friendship with all your Spanish speaking teammates. You would often spend time hanging out with them instead of your fellow England players, which of course had led to a lot of teasing from the likes of Lauren and Chloe, with them suggesting that you might as well go and play for either Spain or Venezuela if you enjoyed hanging out with them so much.

You nodded at Laia and grabbed your phone and a towel from your locker before following behind the young centre back and making your way into the ice cold tub next to her.

The two of you stayed mostly silent, both individually scrolling through your phones as the 5 minute timer slowly ticked down.

“So what’s going on with you and Lei?”, she suddenly asks out if no where. Your head whipped up to look at her, before your eyes quickly scanned your surroundings to make sure no one else was around to hear. Luckily, she’d chosen to speak Spanish so there would only be a select number of your teammates who would understand, but one of those happened to be the exact person you definitely didn’t want to hear.

“What?”, you scoffed, trying (and failing) to act as casual as possible at her suggestion.

“She likes you”, she states like she knows it as fact, “and I’m pretty sure you like her back so…”, she trails off.

“So what?”, you asked, before quickly following up with, “and she doesn’t like me”, you paused, “and I don’t like her, not like that”, you insisted.

The truth was, you and the older Spaniard had been dancing around each other flirtatiously for weeks, if not months, at this point. Your problem was you could never tell if she was serious. Leila was naturally a very happy, flirty person, a fact you knew well having played against her for years in Spain, and you had always gone along with it thinking it would never go any further beyond a flirtatious rivalry. But now you played for the same team, and what had started out innocently had developed into something you were afraid was becoming a little too real.

“Right”, Laia didn’t seem at all convinced by your argument.

The conversation ended there though, as the woman herself entered the room and made her way into the ice bath with the two of you.

“Who died?”, she asked, sensing an air of awkwardness around, “did I just walk in on something”, she asked, her eyebrows wiggling in a jokingly suggestive way. Neither of you responded, Laia just watching you as you refused to look up from your phone, “did I walk in on something?”, Leila asked again, a more serious tone to her voice this time.

Laia shook her head, rolling her eyes, both at Leilas ridiculous suggestion, and at your denial to what she could clearly see blossoming between you and the left back.

The three of you stayed silent for a while before Laia conveniently got a phone call and left you and Leila there by yourselves. Judging by the intense eye contact she sent your way as she left the room, you’d guess it wasn’t so much ‘convenient’ as it was set up.

“You want to have Sushi?”, Leila asked, in English, almost like she was trying to prove a point.

“Now?”, you question, as hers had been rather open ended and it’d become a habit for you to make every conversation you had in English a lesson for her.

“No, later”, she confirmed, rolling hers eyes at you as she knew what you were doing.

“Ask me again”.

“You want sushi later?”, she asked again.

“I might get sushi later, yeah, why?”, you were being difficult. You knew exactly what she was trying to say and she knew it, you just wanted her to ask it properly.

“You want it with me?”, she pushed, getting closer to how you wanted her to say it.

“Want what with you?”, you feigned confusion and she rolled her eyes.

“Do you want to got out for sushi with me later?”, she asked, in Spanish this time, as she’d given up trying to work out how to say it in English.

“No comprendo”, you shrugged you shoulders at her, acting like you didn’t understand what she was saying.

She slapped your shoulder, “You want to have sushi later, with me”, she finally says, though it sounds more like a statement than a question.

“I would love to”, you smiled cheekily at her. She shoved your shoulder lightly in response, “on one condition”.

“Ugh, what?”, she rolled her eyes.

“You have to speak English, all evening”, you state.

Your alarm sounded suddenly, signalling your 5 minutes in the ice cold water you hated so much was over and you immediately moved to leave the small pool.

A hand grabbed yours before you could make it all the way out however.

“This means we still have lessons for English tomorrow, yes?”, Leila asked you, the look in her eyes, combined with her thumb brushing over your knuckles almost making you melt.

You sighed, “Lei”, you paused, giving her a chance to pull you back into the pool, a little closer to her, “I really think you should get a teacher”.

“I have a teacher”, she insisted, grabbing your second hand, “she is the best”, the soft look in her eye was gradually changing into that look. You know the one, where her lips curve into that charming smirk, and for a second you think she might just lean in and kiss you.

She doesn’t, and you scold yourself for even allowing your mind to go there.

“We’ll see”, you state, removing yourself from her grip and exiting the pool.

Leila watches as you leave, and internally groans. She decides then and there that she needs to tell you how she feels.

——

It’s much later in the day when you find yourself taking a seat at a table opposite Leila. You’d lost count of the number of times the two of you had come here, it was definitely at least twice a week at this point, but you loved it.

“Let me guess”, Leila says as she picks up a menu, “onigiri?”, she asks, referring to the rice dish you got every time you came.

“You know me so well”, you smile back at her, before reading over some of the other options.

The evening goes the same as any other the two of your spent eating sushi together. Far too much food is consumed and you’ve talked about just about anything that had come up. Yet the conversation never got boring. It never did with her. And she had managed to speak English all evening, to a pretty good level too, only getting caught up on a few words.

You now found yourself walking down the pavement in the brisk Manchester evening air. The two of you had decided to walk home, your apartment buildings were right next to each other, as most of cities players were, and the walk was short enough for it not to be a trek, but long enough that it allowed your overfilled stomach to settle before going to bed.

There was a brief lull in conversation as you looked up at the sky, the night was clear, and even with all the light pollution from the city around you, you could make out some of the brightest stars.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as you feel Leila’s hand intertwine with your own, causing your gaze to shift from the sky, to glance down at you now joined hands before coming to settle on her face. She was already looking at you, and unreadable expression on her face.

She was trying to read you, trying to see if what she was doing was okay.

“Lei, what are you doing?”, you asked quietly, but you didn’t let go of her hand.

“Holding your hand”, she explained simply.

You continue walking for a while. The silence between you comfortable, at least for you. For Leila, it gave her far too much time to think, and getting her thoughts together was becoming increasingly difficult.

She pulls you to a stop.

“Lei-“, you go to question her, but she cuts you off.

“You know I like you?”, she says, it’s phrased like a statement but the upwards inflection towards the end informs you it is actually a question. Knowing, however, does not help your brain fully compute exactly what it is she’s asking. Or is she telling you?

“What?”, is all you manage to get out.

“I’m not good in English”, she explains, you furrow your brow because the statement really doesn’t help clear any of this up, “in Spanish I’m good, I can flirt easy with you, but English is hard and I don’t sound good”.

“Wha-“, you go to say again, your brain short-circuiting at what she appears to be saying.

“I only want you to teach me English because I want to spend a lot of time with you”, she stumbles through the sentence in English and while your brain gradually catches up to what she seems to be implying, you struggle to fight off the smile that wants to form on your lips as you watch her, “I think you are amazing and beautiful and, and I don’t know any more English words that you are but I know there must be a lot”.

You’re just watching her at this point, as she adorably continues to mumble out words she thinks could potentially describe how she sees you, with the same smile plastered on your face from before, except now you’re not fighting it. Until eventually you can’t help yourself, the words aren’t coming to you anyway so instead of saying something you take her face in your hands and place your lips on hers, shutting her up immediately.

She doesn’t respond for a second, due to the shock, but as soon as she realises what’s happening, her hands are holding you against her instantly, and her lips move with yours in a synchronicity that honestly surprises you a little. In all your 27 years of living you can honestly say you’ve never experienced a kiss quite like this first one with Leila.

You pull away eventually, but your hands remain on either side of her face, your thumb running gently over her bottom lip, already wanting to kiss them again.

“So you-”, Leila starts but you cuts her off.

“You can speak Spanish now”.

She giggles lightly before speaking again, “if that terrible speech got you to kiss me like that I can’t wait to see what happens when I can use my charm properly”, she says in Spanish now, that signature smirk back on her face as her arms tighten themselves around you ever so slightly.

“Well it convinced me to help teach you English, so who knows what else you could convince me to do”, you teased back.

“Maybe we can find out back at my apartment?”, Leila suggests.

You agree and the two of you start heading in that direction.

“Just so you know, this definitely means you’re getting an actual English teacher now”, you tell her as you walk together, her arm draped over your shoulder and yours wrapped around her waist.

“Yeah I thought so”, she laughed, “I’m surprised you held out so long”.

“Well believe it or not, but I actually liked the excuse to spend time alone with you”.

“I knew it!”, she exclaims, kissing your cheek and guiding you into her apartment building.

[wombywoo]

Thank you for all your answers! I can't explain how excited I am about this story of yours. I want to gnaw on your brain. 😅 Hope that doesn't sound too weird.

Marc is one fucked up guy. They need to arrest him because that's so damn bad. Seriously, how did Quinn get away from him? Why do I get the feeling that Quinn didn't fully get away from him?? Is he going to make a surprise villain appearance? D=

I think Danny and Vincent should team up and stab Marc. <3

Please tell me Quinn doesn't pull the same choking RACK stuff with Vincent. I can't imagine Vincent would be happy with Quinn pushing himself like that, even if he's feeling low.

I know a psych eval would bench Quinn forever, and that wouldn't be good for him, but boy does that boy need some better coping mechanisms. A couple of therapists. A lot of hugs. Just, all the love.

I'm glad Vincent cares about Quinn so much, but I'm also excited for the potential drama as he tries to get Quinn realise he cares about him. It sounds like Quinn is going to make it as difficult as possible for Vincent before melting into his arms.

I'd love to know more about Vincent's complicated feelings, especially about the evil vampires, and Quinn's visions. I just love hearing all your speculations and lore domes, no matter how drama or trauma filled they may be. <3

Please by all means continue munching my brain, it's very motivating !!!!

Marc is the worst for sure. And his ass needs to be incarcerated stat, but unfortunately he's rich and powerful, sooooo... dot dot dot Quinn had 'broken up' with him a few times, but there was always a something pulling him back, so maybe he's still feeling that tether.... (don't worry, Marc will have his comeuppance eventually, I am just building sweet sweet tension)

I would not be opposed to Vince and Danny giving him a stab or two 🤔..

(And he will make an appearance btw; his company is funding the task force, hehehe.....)

As for Quinn and his, uhh. not great habits in the bedroom, that's also something that may come up as a point of drama. I can see him trying to push Vincent into being rough with him, even taking it too far when he's feeling particularly..not great. Predictably, Vincent will not be a fan of this, hence the ✨drama✨ I do think they can eventually develop some healthier bdsm-type stuff for Quinn, but for now--he's not got the best history with sexual risk-taking, and he's probably going to steer towards something that's not very safe or sane 😬

asdfgh honestly at this point, I'm not even sure if there's therapy strong enough to help him 😭 Which is why it's crucial that he has Vincent now, and more importantly--FIG, who is perhaps the best thing he has for feeling good and happy in his life 🥺🙏 hugs are also appreciated

There will definitely be a lot of future drama, in fact, I keep chewing over potential scenes and rubbing my hands together like a totally normal not-insane villain...

Vincent is *very* concerned about Quinn's visions, moreso than Quinn himself. He's got sooo many questions and very little answers. And his ties to certain evil vampires in the past might start becoming relevant again, so that's always fun to revisit....

I have a loooot more stuff I've been contemplating, so I will share accordingly, or perhaps get off my ass and actually write this damn thing 😤 Please standby <3

[ediewentmissing]

Hiii!! Could you write an angst/fluff eddie fic based on a bad habit of mine? 😬 I have this habit of using things like using the bathroom or eating as a reward for finishing a task 🥴 I won’t use the bathroom even if I have to go bad until I finish an assignment or something. I’d love to know how he would react to reader doing that 🫶

this is such an adorable thought. i wish i could’ve done this better but i have a shit ton of work to do so i had to smash this out in 10 minutes 😭 so sorry for the lack of quality here but hope it’s up to standard ❤️

you’re scribbling away at your desk, filling out an important stack of sheets for mr. higgins to review tomorrow. your wrist aches from writing and your stomach is growling at you for not feeding it.

you look over at your alarm clock on your bedside table. 1 PM. shit. you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday night’s dinner. you look back at the incomplete papers miserably and continue jotting.

“hey, sweets!” eddie bursts through your bedroom door. he flashes you a smile and stands in front of you, rocking excitedly back and forth on his feet, hiding something behind his back.

you giggle at him, “what have u got hidden back there?”

“well, y’know that vinyl at camelot that you were obsessing about?”

“appetite for destruction?” you ask, “yeah, i remember. why?”

he pulls the shiny new vinyl from behind him, waving it in both hands, “i brought it!”

“eddie! i told you not to!” you laugh as he hands it over, “it was expensive!”

“hm, well i may or may not have done a massive deal with one of the tiger’s basketball players and earned a fuck-ton of cash,” he smiles, “so how ‘bout we get up and dance…” he wiggles his brows, “and relax for a bit, yeah?” he holds out his hands to lift u up from the seat at your desk.

“yeah, that sounds good,” you wave his hands away, “but i’ve gotta get this done. maybe later, ‘kay?”

“later?” he frowns, “you’ve never said later to music before, babe. what’s up? have you miraculously decided that music isn’t good enough for you anymore?” he crosses his arms.

“no, music is life, and as much as i love the idea of jamming out, i have to get this done. shoo, shoo,” you wave a hand at him, but of course he doesn’t plan on going anywhere.

“what are you doing that so important, huh?” he questions, leaning over your shoulder to take a look at the important work in question. “wait, wait, wait,” he says confused, “weren’t you doing this this morning, like, before i left?”

you nod timidly, and his mouth opens to protest, but you speak quickly, “yes, but it’s really important! it needs to be done, eds!”

“okay! okay!” he puts his hands up, mock surrendering, “well have you taken a break since you started?”

“uh…” you hesitate.

“have you eaten?” he asks, concerned. you don’t say anything. “right, that’s it,” he claps his hands together and hauls you up from your seat, “i’m going to make you a signature gourmet eddie munson special. extra special for an extra special lady, yeah?” he smiles as he drags you down the hallway to the living area.

“now sit,” he says, promptly pushing your shoulders down so you sit on the springy sofa in front of the tv. he turns it on. “watch,” he points to the tv, “relax,” he pulls your feet up to rest on the coffee table, “got it?”

you nod, closing your eyes and lolling your head back on the couch, finally relaxing. “mhmm… i can’t feel my butt.”

“probably because you’ve been sitting on that same fucking chair all day,” he chuckles from the kitchen. you can hear food bubbling.

after a couple minutes he comes back with a bowl, setting it down beside your feet, “there ya go, babe.”

you pick it up and giggle, “is your ‘signature gourmet eddie munson special’ really spaghetti?”

“ah, ah, ah,” he tuts, “canned spaghetti,” he says, as if it makes it even more special.

you’re about to eat it before you stop the forkful of spaghetti from entering your mouth. “hang on. since when did we have canned spaghetti?”

“dunno,” he shrugs, “found it at the back of the cupboard.”

“at the back of the cupboard?” you repeat, “pass me the can.” he gives you a confused look before darting to the kitchen to grab the empty can from the counter.

he passes it to you and you read it aloud, “use by the fifteenth of april, 1984… eddie your supposedly ‘gourmet food’ is expired by three years.”

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[drowninnoodles]

Ahem. ✍️🧐

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

20. Do you like your neighbors?

21. What are you bad habits?

22. Where would you like to travel?

23. Do you have trust issues?

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

43. Do you smile at strangers?

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

46. What are you paranoid about?

71. Craving something? What?

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

96. Favourite actress?

97. Favourite actor?

99. Have any pets?

100. How are you feeling?

101. Do you type fast?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

115. Do you play the Wii?

116. Are you listening to music right now?

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

140. Summer or Winter?

141. Night or Day?

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Ik it's a lot. MUAHAHAHAH you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

BOI

11. Uh actually it was a drawing sent to the person who requested it as a art for a song cover-

20. Never met them

21. Spending money immediately after earning it probably.😬🫣

22. kitchen

23. I don't have trust issues if I don't trust anyone 🫵🏻

24. Sitting in the kitchen in the morning after I get dressed. Because I sit with my mother and feed the cats then and all

31. its almost buzz cut bro

35. TV i think

37. irl? I dont talk to people. Online? If the silence is awkward, I decide that there is no point in talking to that person and I go look for new friends.

39. Uhhh every but I love big shopping malls, mainly because I love walking around them

42. Irl? That means I'm out of the house. Online? I sleep or draw

43. No, unless someone says something nice

44. bottom

45. my mom

46. sleeping

71. attention

77. both. both is good

78. salted caramel.

91. yea too many people

96. dont have one

97. dont have one

99. snail, two dogs, cats....

100. bored

101. yea i think so

114. not sure XD

115. nope

116. nopeee

117. god no

140. WINTER

141. day

149. Nope

BRO

[ageless-aislynn]

Some important news here, frens. I’ve gone back to playing Mass Effect Andromeda and, safe to say it...

Wow, do I suck, lol! The Nomad controls aren’t at all like a Halo Warthog’s and I’m finding it REALLY hard to drive. You know how people mock Kat’s driving in Halo: Reach? Well, let me tell you, Kat has NOTHING on me trying to drive a Nomad. Just today I’ve:

Got my front wheels stuck on the roof of a small building and thus me and the team were all shot to death and the Nomad blown up by those Sentinel-ish robot dudes

Fell off the side of a bluff instead of just driving down the slope area

Got upset because all of the sudden my controls were reversed: accelerate and reverse were opposite trigger buttons, going left made me go right, etc. I struggled along for a good couple of minutes before I realized, um, I was driving backwards. 😐😂

Could not turn around in a small, rocky area and caused us all to die from radiation poisoning

And the most Kat thing of all? Accidentally backed off a cliff and we all died

But I’m determined to have fun with this, even if I accidentally flew back to the ship without meaning to, oops. 😕 But hey, I finally figured out how to get back to the planet, so yay for me, right? Me and Cora and Vetra are getting things done. Very slowly. When I’m not driving us off a cliff or causing us to all burn up from radiation.

Also, I wanted to foster friendships whenever I can but I forgot what the symbol was for that and I, um, totally hit on Cora and so she had to tell me she wasn’t interested in me that way. But I hope we’re still friends? 🤞😣🤞 (Note to self: friendship is the outline of a heart, not the full heart.)

I just leveled up, though, and I made sure to level up Cora and Vetra because I have a bad habit of running away during a fight and letting them handle things. That’s probably going to not work out well one of these times but dang it, for some reason I CANNOT seem to shoot straight. My aim swings really wildly all over the place. I turned down the mouse sensitivity, hoping that would help but so far, not so much so. I’ll have to tinker some more with the controls because this is really interfering with things. 😬 Except for my hitting on Cora skillz, they were ON POINT. *facepalm*

Oh and have I ever shown you my Sara? This is from back when I started the game in Sept so I’m level 4 now and I can’t remember why Liam isn’t on my team anymore... Maybe it changed when we got to the Tempest and into space? I honestly can’t remember.

Either way, Vetra’s been awesome so I’m happy to have her on the team!

I’m not worrying about side missions and all of the things you’re supposed to buy and craft and all of that. It’s a little overwhelming, honestly, so I’m just focusing on trying to figuring out the main objectives. If I can make it through the entire game, then one day I’ll play it again and try to figure the rest of it out. Anyway, wish me luck! 💖

[gunsli-01]

So like maybe we should ask Shidou and Mahiru, if they want to make their own family.

Do you agree?

Also I'm quite scared of Shidou he might use Mahiru's life to manipulate Es😬

Oh and one thing I like your theories they slay💅

Ah, thank you! I'm glad you like the theories I tend to assume I'm being annoying so it's good to hear!

I think it would be a good question to ask them. Though the best way of phrasing it to get the most information would probably be to ask, "What is your family's opinion when it comes to marriage/relationships?".

Shidou says during his first trial interrogation questions that the most important thing to him is "Family" and Mahiru states that her family gives her a monthly allowance. So, phrasing it this way would make it a bit more difficult to navigate around.

It would shed some more light on their circumstances. Especially in Mahiru's case. She states she's interested in love but the tone Es uses when covering "This Is How To Be In Love With You" and her being shown to be within a birdcage in her own mind makes this appear to be a facade of sorts.

It at least gives the impression that Mahiru may not be pursuing relationships out of a genuine desire/interest in doing so or that the relationship was restrictive and abusive for her as well on some level. There's even a slight chance for a marriage of convenience to be aspects in play when it comes to Mahiru's situation.

Especially given the focus she put on honing the skills necessary to be a good wife. However, I haven't done enough research into that avenue as of now. It's just something that's slightly caught my eye, but I want to see Mahiru's door before making a call on whether to research it fully.

However, for those curious arranged marriages/marriages of convenience still happen in Japan even though they aren't as common as they once were. They also still occur in the US as well. So, it's really nothing specific to any country which would make it an interesting topic for Milgram to tackle. Especially considering the links between arranged marriages and domestic violence highlighted over the years.

Mahiru's family is well off enough to send her to university, set her up in a dorm, and give her a monthly allowance. So, it's not difficult to imagine them being willing to pursue arranged marriage candidates that may add more value to the family. It's also telling that Yuno seems to call out both Mikoto and Mahiru on their habits being troublesome and or seemingly performative.

20/06/29

Yuno: ……mmm, the food here is actually pretty nice. I wonder if the guard made it…… Oh yeah, Mahiru-san, do you cook?

Mahiru: Hm? I do~ Cooking, washing, cleaning, I love doing all those sorts of things~ Fufufu, I passed all my self-imposed training to become the perfect wife with flying colours!

Yuno: Wow, incredible… I don’t know whether to call that old-fashioned or what... Isn’t it a pain?

Mahiru: Eh~? I don’t think it’s a pain at all~ It’s fun~

Though it's important to note she does say these things were self-imposed here. However, This Is How To Be In Love With You having lyrics like, "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness; I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing." "Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night. Forcing you to wake up, and I say, “Good Morning! But I fall asleep before you, I really feel bad you know?”.

Lines that imply Mahiru and her significant other live in different time zones. Because she says it's the middle of night for her but Morning for him. So, their relationship was probably partially in person and long distance. It's considerably weird that this line is even in this song given it directly conflicts with what the mv shows us at points. The imagery in the MV states that the man Mahiru liked had a part time job and that she first saw him on the terrace at her University, "On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?"

It also states, "I went to a coffee shop I saw in a magazine. I’ve always wanted to become “a regular” for something like this. I only just arrived in Tokyo recently, so everything seems so new and fun. Now if only there was love on the horizon too there’d be nothing else to say. Just kidding."

So, it's not like Mahiru has lived in Tokyo all her life she probably just moved out there for college. Which reframes her entire view and her focus on romance. Since that is literally the set up to most romance novels. Something she states to have read even before falling in love herself. Like yeah, she's a bit of a hopeless romantic but it's not without reason.

In her video that blog like format of hers is titled, "Become someone people will fall in love with at any time! 16 Day Memorial." It's also stated to be Produced by Mahiru. So, it's not a stretch at this point to believe that it's meant to memorialize the love they had from how they met and got together conveniently omitting the end.

This could also be why her video takes place over the course of 16 days. It's not chronologically 16 days in a row it's basically a highlight reel of the best moments. Plus, Milgram has shown that Mahiru has terrible taste in men.

She confides in Kazui of all people,

21/08/05   (Kazui’s Birthday) x

Kazui: Oh, Shina-chan? How scandalous, coming to a man’s room in the middle of the night like this. Well, not that it’s really a room, just a cell. ……just kidding, since you brought some drinks with you, I’m assuming you’ve come to wish me a happy birthday, right? Thank you.

Mahiru: Yep! Happy birthday Kazui-san~ Clap clap clap! But as well as that~ ……I also just maybe wanted to use it as an excuse so I could ask you for some advice over drinks, I suppose?

Kazui: Advice, huh. Well, you’re more than welcome, but I don’t really know what advice an old man like me could give you. I haven’t got the first clue about what love is like for a young girl nowadays.

Mahiru: Ahaha…… Don’t worry, much as I’d love to talk about that too, um…… er, Kazui-san. You know, recently I’ve been having the same dream every day. Lots of people were denying my actions…… Denying my thoughts…… that sort of dream.

And literally after this he just sort of fails to protect her from Kotoko in any way and is like if only I was fast enough. When it's like legitimately you should've been Kazui cause Mahiru was attacked before Futa sooo like you just chose not to do anything at that point. We're given the order in which these events took place since Kotoko attacked the most Guilty Prisoners first and Mahiru was Guiltier than Futa. So, like how did he logistically get to Futa without noticing or hearing what happened with Mahiru the woman who lives right next to him??? Like the fuck happened there?! Make it make sense.

He's acting like he feels sorry for her but I don't think it was because she was jumped but instead because of whatever the fuck she confided in him about up there. Like they still go into his room and have a conversation over drinks this is only a snippet of it. So, like what the fuck did she say?

And given lines like "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad." Like it kind of comes off as someone pivoting hard into an idealistic overly romantic mindset to cover up domestic violence. Like how people will go who are you to judge he loves me this is love and it doesn't look the same for everyone. He's a good guy and this relationship may have its ups and downs but it's not that bad.

Her second trial song lyrics allude to this even more! "I am going crazy even I love saying 'I Love You'. My feelings are uncontrollable, I don't care about any trouble! How come, how come I'm not forgiven?!"

Even her response to Es having her jumped is just, "These injuries…… while you were sleeping…… I think it was Kotoko, probably. If it wasn’t for Shidou-san, I probably would’ve died…… It doesn’t hurt. Compared to my heart after you wouldn’t forgive it, not at all." Something she continues to push forth even with other prisoners like Yuno,

22/09/02 (Yuno’s Birthday)

Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry, for making you worry.

Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.

Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry. Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.

Yuno: ………… Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation? ……you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.

Yeah, Mahiru was clingy and possibly emotionally draining to deal with but the fact that she goes I was happy to get hurt along with all this should probably raise more red flags than it is. Like personally I think it should set off the alarm like ding, ding, ding, we might be dealing with a victim of domestic violence. And as I always say if a man or woman hits their partner at any point in a relationship then they die in that relationship well...they had it coming. It truly does take two to have a bad relationship. a relationship of any kind actually.

[punkscowardschampions]

Johnrio & Ruster pt.1

Johnny: Can you fetch your mammy [something Ali or unborn baby Maggie need or he thinks they do]? 

Johnny: I’ve something I’m away to this morning

Rio: Sure thing

Rio: Did you have fun last night?

Johnny: You’re a good girl, she’ll be back under my eye by the afternoon

Johnny: Ah, more or less

Rio: I’ll make sure she takes it easy 

Rio: Paddys takes it out of all of us, even when you’re not drinking

Johnny: She stands by making sure everyone has a grand time, even at the expense of herself

Johnny: you’re much the same

Rio: She’s always been that way

Rio: do you suppose it’s a bad habit?

Johnny: All habits can be taken too far, but not in itself

Johnny: your hearts are in the right place that can’t be bad

Rio: Thanks, it’s what I think, what I hope

Johnny: You’ve my word hope’s never a bad thing either

Rio: Never?

Rio: You would think that though, you got your happy ending 😊

Johnny: Never when it’s true, falsehoods are what they are and a different thing

Johnny: heavy for the morning after, like

Rio: I know, sorry, I don’t usually come across all maudlin after a few 😅

Johnny: Last night you didn’t seem your usual if you don’t mind my saying, or noticing

Rio: I feared as much

Rio: it’s embarrassing really, stupid thing to be getting upset about when I could’ve been having a laugh

Johnny: It’s best you don’t force ‘em, laughs or drinks down for the lack, only brings trouble

Rio: Very wise

Rio: You aren’t one for big parties, are you

Johnny: No

Johnny: but if she’d have me there, I am

Rio: She prefers being just with you too these days

Rio: it’s nice to see

Johnny: I’d see you less upset than the party had you, be nice

Johnny: maybe at the next

Rio: I’ll do my best 

Rio: maybe Junior will be back then too

Johnny: Right, I’m not tearing at you, don’t worry yourself

Johnny: as I said, you’re a good girl, you know where the money is fetch yourself a thing you’re after while you’re out

Johnny: We all of us pray he is

Rio: I know you’re not

Rio: It’s just embarrassing, I don’t know who to talk about it with

Johnny: If it’s a girl’s trouble, your mammy isn’t that tired

Rio: It’s boy troubles which I suppose does count as girl’s trouble, no offence

Rio: I should just be focusing on the family and making sure everyone’s good, that’s what’s actually important

Johnny: You matter, you know

Johnny: you’re part of the family needing focusing on

Johnny: so a boy causing it for you is making trouble for himself

Rio: No trouble, promise

Rio: just getting ditched in humiliating fashion

Johnny: Will we humiliate him back?

Rio: I don’t think I’d even know where to start, if I fancied it

Johnny: We can let your mammy work her magic, she’s plenty and there’s times enough it has been black

Rio: Sure she never cursed you

Rio: Can I ask you a question, might be a bit personal

Johnny: Oh are you now?

Johnny: ‘Course, go on

Rio: 75% sure then 🤞

Rio: Did it get easier, moving on, the longer it was?

Johnny: Everyone tells you it will

Johnny: but I found it harder, the more time passed, the more I done which weren’t with her but should’ve been

Johnny: there was the missing of her everywhere, keeping on

Rio: Suspected as much

Rio: were you okay though, what was it like?

Johnny: I had no peace ‘til she was with me again

Johnny: you’ve chance to talk to your boy in the sober light though to be sure, have you?

Rio: Ah, you’re too much 😍🥰

Rio: He’s no mind to but eventually, maybe?

Johnny: Full of drink he’s no mind or then’s when he’s of his only mind to speak?

Rio: That’s the only time he’ll speak to me, yeah 

Rio: Tragic, I know

Rio: he’s got his reasons to think we shouldn’t, like you did, so it’s probably wrong of me to keep talking to him 

Johnny: I don’t remember reckoning when I look back on us that your mammy should’ve kept her mouth shut even when I did mine

Rio: Probably just hates me then, awkward 😬

Johnny: Loose ends are to be tied up, easy or no

Johnny: if you’re learning anything off me and her

Rio: How do you know what’s the final word

Rio: because technically you gave an answer, way back then

Johnny: Did it feel final?

Rio: Maybe

Rio: Not to me but I can see a goodbye in it from his perspective

Johnny: You’ll see what happens

Rio: How much of life is just a waiting game

Rio: waiting for everyone to come around to you and mama, for Ronan to be sensible, now this

Rio: Not to mention school and not being able to do anything proper for a job

Johnny: You’re not alone with what comes, nor as you’re waiting

Rio: That’s true enough

Rio: I am going to get the [thing he asked for], not just moping, promise

Johnny: I’m not for patience but don’t hurry yourself

Johnny: with [the thing] and the rest

Rio: Only get one go around, right

Rio: I’ll do my best to appreciate my freedom, or something like that 😝

Johnny: I feel the same, how your mammy talks of her many lives gets in my head still, ‘til I go to my grave for the telling who’s right, so be it

Johnny: we’ve got to live before then, you’ll find your way

Rio: I just hope I get to have what you two do

Johnny: Only you know between yourselves if the boy’s the one or no

Johnny: and certainty’s made harder when he don’t himself for now

Rio: He said I’m the love of his life

Rio: but he needs to pick his future

Johnny: What sort of future has he without love?

Rio: Well, that’s what I think

Rio: but he cares about his career and making his parents proud more

Johnny: What’s there to be ashamed of in you?

Rio: That’s complicated

Johnny: Tends to be

Rio: Never mind

Rio: I’ll either work up the courage to talk his ear off instead of yours or I’ll just keep on and move on

Johnny: True enough

Johnny: but you’re not to let him make you believe you’re a disgrace

Rio: Wouldn’t be the first to attempt it

Rio: we know who we are

Johnny: He ought to

Rio: I don’t fit in his worldview

Johnny: For his own good whoever he is, he’d have sense to change that

Rio: Boys try harder to fit in, I reckon

Johnny: What need he really has’ll be shown to you, boys can’t help themselves

Rio: All my other boyfriends before were like that but he’s smarter and more mature

Johnny: Is he decent?

Rio: Yes

Rio: and he isn’t like 25, which is how that made it sound, don’t worry

Johnny: You’ve the maturity you can be trusted never to run ‘round with grown men

Rio: Precisely, it’s immaturity they’re after

Johnny: You’re a smart girl too

Rio: 😌

Rio: What do you hope the baby is, do you prefer sons or daughters?

Johnny: Healthy, nothing else

Rio: ‘Course, all that really matters

Johnny: Do you want another sister or brother?

Rio: 🤔

Rio: Well Junior was the last baby so perhaps a girl

Rio: but I’ve only 2 brothers so a boy would even that out for me

Johnny: A fair answer, I can’t fault you for being happy with either, nor you us what we give you

Rio: I love babies either way

Rio: and I’m so happy for this one

Johnny: You’re a help to your mammy with them all, a credit to her

Rio: I wish there was more I could do for her right now

Johnny: I’ll bring him home, no matter what or how long it takes to be done

Rio: We don’t forget it’s a tough situation with your kids too, you know

Johnny: We’re all of us doing what we can

Rio: I wouldn’t want you to think we don’t care

Rio: but it’s your business, also wouldn’t want to bombard you with questions 

Johnny: I’ve only some answers

Rio: You weren’t expecting any of what has happened to happen, think that’s understandable given

Johnny: For my sins, what my wife chose to do is

Johnny: I understand what her head was full of

Rio: It would have been hard to stay together

Johnny: And for her to stay with us apart

Rio: There’s time, for things to get easier, work out in better ways

Johnny: Time proves short sometimes, for my mammy for one

Rio: Yeah

Rio: none of it’s promised

Johnny: I broke more than I’ve kept

Rio: Maybe that’s what they’re for, the more I see the more I think it might be so

Rio: just got to do the best we can, like you said

Johnny: Be cruel to agree and dash what hope there’s left in you since your boy shaped hole

Rio: Nothing’s as important as the family, let’s stick with that and we’ll both be okay

Johnny: It’s the law I follow

Rio: Me too, will from now on with no distractions

Johnny: A good head on good shoulders is what I used to say, aim for

Rio: Sounds good to me

Rio: Thanks, for listening to this ramble

Johnny: You’re important, said it yourself

Rio: I don’t know what to say

Johnny: Just remember, if you give into temptation and talk to him, we’ve all of us our demons

Johnny: you can always be forgiven

Rio: That’s comforting

Rio: because I do feel like I’ve some things to say, even if he doesn’t bother responding

Johnny: I thought there a chance you wouldn’t remember last night’s comfort

Rio: 😰 Oh no…

Johnny: No bother

Rio: I hope I wasn’t

Rio: I don’t get like that usually

Johnny: ‘Course you wasn’t

Rio: I didn’t mortify myself either?

Johnny: Few tears aren’t the end of the world

Rio: Still, enough and I know what I can do for now so

Johnny: On you go to the shops then for your 1st steps to behaving

Rio: I thought I was a good girl already! 😏

Johnny: Maybe that were a test to see to you knowing who you are

Rio: Admire the technique

Johnny: I weren’t drinking, be why I’ve my wits sharp

Rio: It’s no good, I’m taking a break

Johnny: I’ll let you wet your new brother or sister’s head

Rio: Be positively glowing and the best role model by September

Johnny: I’ve no doubt

Rio: 😇

Johnny: Sainted’s not for me to ask of you

Rio: Slightly ambitious but have to aim high

Johnny: I’ve nothing to say of that without hypocrisy, I like being grounded as I am the now more but I did my time pushing myself to extremes

Rio: I just want to make something of myself too

Johnny: Caring this much means you will

Rio: Good

Rio: the rest will have to fall into place

Johnny: What work is it you’re looking for? You mentioned jobs before

Rio: I like being in the pub, doing that kind of thing but I can’t so anything really

Johnny: Leave it with us, I’ll sort something

Rio: You will?

Johnny: Will you work hard?

Rio: Of course

Johnny: There then, sure

Rio: Thank you so much, Johnny

Rio: I won’t let you down

Johnny: I’ll have news for you later about what exactly you’ll be turning your hand to

Rio: 😁

Johnny: You can thank me by watching everyone until I’m home

Johnny: [giving her a lil rundown of things these kids need just to show that he cares and is paying attention to their daily routines, Grace definitely wants something because she’s peak annoying age rn lol]

Rio: On it

Rio: She isn’t used to being spoiled

Johnny: She’ll get used to me again, she’s no choice, I won’t be busy past [a time]

Rio: They all will, Edie included 

Johnny: She’s her mammy’s daughter in different ways

Johnny: but you’re all of her and I love her, so

Rio: Stop it, you’re too much 😍

Johnny: What they say

Rio: [to Buster, to avoid future confusion lol]

Rio: I’m aware this seems counterintuitive but I just need to say what I need to say and then it’s out there and I at least know you’ve read it, reply or not

Rio: We can both agree that last night shouldn’t have happened 

Rio: and agree to nothing happening going forward

Rio: We both have enough to focus on and I’ll let you if you do the same for me

Rio: As for family events, I’ll leave it up to your discretion, it’s not my business if you’re there or not

Buster: [not immediate but not keeping her waiting ages either, giving dismissive I’m busy vibes instead of I read this and I’m not gonna reply oh wait yes I am, I’m imagining like an hour later or something idk, a standard text waiting time]

Buster: Good, I’m glad we agree

Rio: How could we not, there’s only one right answer

Buster: [this one is basically immediate, just btw]

Buster: Yeah, there is

Rio: Good luck with [the boxing match he told her about that his parents can’t come to]

Buster: I guarantee my own by training, you don’t need to wish me any

Rio: Just being polite

Buster: Which is as completely unnecessary 

Rio: Okay then

Buster: Good luck with maintaining boundaries

Rio: It’s not going to be an issue, don’t worry

Buster: I’m not, you’re none of my concern whether it’s a success or fail

Rio: As the boundaries concern you, I assume that’s why you bothered to bring it up

Buster: I haven’t got an issue sticking to what we’ve agreed on

Rio: Glad to hear it, as it’s not up for debate

Buster: This is the last you’ll hear from me, rest assured

Rio: We’re on the same page then

Buster: Finally

Rio: You don’t need to come at this with such aggression 

Buster: I don’t remember ever asking for your opinion on the way I should approach anything

Rio: You’re wasting your energy needlessly

Buster: My energy levels are totally fine

Rio: I’m sure they’d be much better spent on anything else

Buster: It’s none of your business how they’re spent

Rio: You’re making it my business right now

Buster: As per, you started this conversation

Rio: To make my position clear, and I have

Buster: Yeah, not to dictate mine to me

Rio: You said you agreed

Buster: And you said reply or not

Buster: I have the right to respond therefore

Rio: Sure, say what you need to say

Buster: Stop analysing the tone of everything I say to fit whatever you need to read into it

Rio: I’m just reading what you’re writing

Buster: I’m not writing anything aggressive

Rio: You’ve told me to stop several times, I’m just saying, I’m not doing anything to you

Buster: You’re just being polite, naturally

Rio: Why is that a problem?

Buster: Because it’s false instead of true

Rio: How is it?

Buster: Say what you need to say

Rio: I have, we don’t need to go over it all

Buster: Then bye, I guess

Rio: Do you need to say something?

Buster: What would I possibly care to add? It would only prolong this 

Rio: This is what you wanted

Buster: I’m fully aware of that, thanks

Rio: You could be happier about it, that’s all

Buster: Obviously the cause of my happiness isn’t up for debate either

Rio: If you’re happy I’m happy

Buster: Great, we’re both thrilled moving forward

Rio: Trying to be

Buster: Practice makes perfect, babe

Rio: I’ve got a job lined up so that will help

Buster: I’m not going to say I’m proud of you, don’t worry

Rio: That awkwardness has already been experienced once today, bit late but thanks all the same for not re-traumatising me

Buster: You’re welcome

Rio: Did your family get back okay?

Buster: Ask them

Buster: I’m sure Nance has already forgotten all about her vendetta  

Rio: A simple yes or no 

Rio: I’ll wait, if she thinks I was crying about all that, she might apologise

Buster: You were crying?

Rio: Obviously

Rio: but the night was as good as over 

Buster: Not here, but that absolutely isn’t a productive conversation to have

Rio: You don’t have to tell me what you did to forget

Buster: I was hardly reinventing the wheel, guessing would be easy were you so inclined

Rio: Exactly, I wouldn’t even need to

Buster: Exactly, neither do I to fill in my own blanks

Rio: As to why I was crying? I’d hope not

Buster: Regarding what I did or didn’t do

Rio: No ones expecting you to remember 

Buster: I know what you’re expecting, you told me

Rio: You replied, I didn’t think you would

Buster: Sorry to disappoint, unfortunately I’ve already experienced the feeling at least twofold today and you are, in fact, retraumatising me

Rio: What are you on about?

Buster: The details are irrelevant to you

Rio: Oh, I see

Buster: Forget it

Rio: Your disappointing conquest is nothing I can take offence to

Buster: What conquest?

Rio: It doesn’t take a genius to work it out

Buster: I wouldn’t have thought it would take one to realise I was referring to grandad and my dad’s reaction to my absence last night

Rio: oh

Rio: well, I’m sorry for that

Buster: Don’t be, things could be a lot worse as far as potential backlash for my behaviour

Rio: I suppose so

Rio: still, that part wasn’t your fault

Buster: I decided to stay home with no apparent valid reason, I’m at fault for that

Rio: Which is mine

Buster: Divulging that information over the phone wasn’t really going to get me off the hook though

Rio: I didn’t intend to make you the bad guy though

Rio: I can tell grandad that I didn’t want you there

Buster: I’ll make up for not being there when I am on his birthday

Rio: It doesn’t matter, he won’t be angry at me

Buster: Because he’d be angry at me

Rio: I’ll make something petty up

Buster: You’d be wasting your breath, I already called

Rio: I could smooth things over but if you’re sure, alright

Buster: I smoothed things over myself

Rio: It was a mess

Buster: No shit

Rio: Come on

Rio: It would’ve been worse, if you had come

Buster: Why else do you think I avoided coming? I know it would

Rio: Are you not doing anything until grandad’s birthday then?

Buster: Not unless mum changes her mind

Rio: Wow, okay

Buster: That’s what you wanted

Rio: I was just thinking it’s a lot of time

Buster: Which is the entire point

Rio: I’m not making a judgment call on it

Rio: is that your whole family? Or just you?

Buster: They’ll show up for [just listing all the events you’ll miss like that’s casual and isn’t hitting you like wow] like previously arranged, minus one, that’s all

Rio: I think you should come

Buster: Well, I don’t care what you think

Buster: I wasn’t asking what I should do, I’m telling you what I’m going to

Rio: You’re going to feel left out

Buster: I’m moving to America, I might as well get used to it

Rio: Not until you’re 19, properly, that’s years and years away

Buster: Like I said, practice makes perfect

Rio: I’m worried about you, other people will be worried about you

Buster: You’re a bit late

Rio: Just because we can’t do that means that I can’t care about you at all? 

Rio: That’s bullshit

Buster: Mum opted for the same speech [however long] ago and her sincere delivery carried more weight

Rio: So your mum is worried about you too

Buster: I missed celebrating my favourite holiday, of course she is

Rio: Okay I’m sure that’s not all it was 

Buster: That and the party

Rio: Are you in trouble

Buster: The house and my online footprint were both cleaned up before they got home, as instructed

Rio: I noticed the latter 

Buster: She’s right, I can’t afford to be that reckless 

Rio: It’s what everyone else posts, you can’t control that 

Rio: You should have an account not attached to your name, that’s what I do 

Buster: Not a terrible idea

Rio: You’re welcome

Rio: and then I wouldn’t see anything 

Buster: Definitely the deciding factor, I’ll create a new account right now

Rio: Don’t you want this to be easier 

Rio: not see me too

Buster: I wasn’t being sarcastic 

Rio: Oh

Rio: in that case you’re actually welcome 

Buster: Yeah

Rio: I’ll let you get back to ignoring me then

Buster: Don’t make it sound one-sided, you want this to be easier too

Rio: It has to be

Buster: Exactly, I’m not in the wrong

Rio: Didn’t say you were 

Buster: Good

Rio: The conversation is pointless now

Buster: There’s no further conversation to have, we’re done

Rio: You made that clear, yeah

Buster: So did you at the very beginning of this one

Rio: Because I’m not an idiot, contrary to what you might wish to believe

Buster: Then don’t be stupid now

Rio: Don’t talk to me like that

Buster: Like what?

Rio: You know how so don’t bother asking either

Rio: It’s obvious what you’re doing

Buster: The same thing you should be and said you were going to

Rio: No, I never said I was going to be mean to you as a substitute for intimacy

Buster: What are we, [however old they were when that boy was mean to her in the story I ref-ed previously]? I haven’t been mean to you

Rio: You have but okay, it’s unintentional and you just want to

Buster: I’m putting my focus elsewhere, we both agreed to

Rio: We aren’t disagreeing 

Buster: We don’t need to

Rio: I’ve told you before, it doesn’t have to be how it has been

Buster: We aren’t becoming friends as a substitute either

Rio: There’s a middle ground, which is my point

Buster: Yet another my mum has beat you to making, I’m sick of hearing it

Rio: I’m not surprised

Rio: You can only do it if you’re allowed to run away and hate me and not engage with any of it

Buster: I’m only going to do it on my terms, that shouldn’t surprise you

Rio: It’s why we’re incompatible anyway

Buster: What a relief

Rio: Sure

Buster: I’ll frantically search for middle ground when I’m stuck on the golf course with business associates, until then, I’m just not interested

Rio: You don’t need to try any harder to make yourself unattractive, I’m good

Buster: Keep telling yourself that, genuinely, you’ll be doing yourself a favour

Rio: Your ego if you think it bears repeating 

Buster: I’m thinking of you needing a daily mantra to repeat in front of the mirror, you’re clearly struggling with this

Rio: Fuck you

Rio: you have no idea

Buster: Baby steps, begin by lying to yourself and perhaps you’ll eventually be able to convincingly tell me how unattractive I am

Rio: What you look like is irrelevant isn’t it

Buster: Hardly

Buster: but my looks are nevertheless not the only reason you’re attracted to me

Rio: No, they are, we’re related

Buster: Which has been the part that’s proved irrelevant thus far

Rio: Or is it the only reason any of it ever happened

Buster: You tell me, you’re the one suggesting it is

Rio: I don’t know

Rio: seems like a possibility

Buster: For you maybe

Rio: You wanted it because you couldn’t have it

Buster: I know why I want you

Rio: So you say

Buster: Believe whatever you like, it doesn’t matter

Rio: I’d be a complete idiot to believe you

Buster: Said as though you aren’t choosing to bring up possibilities based on flawed logic, if I wanted what I can’t have, I’d be actively pursuing what I still can’t

Rio: No because you had it, enough to lose interest and move on

Buster: Why on earth would it be enough?

Rio: Because it happened but there’s no consequences from it only going that far

Rio: you still get to live your life as though it didn’t

Buster: No consequences? You’re not serious

Rio: Not with your parents, friends, school, nowhere that you care about

Buster: My parents are asking me if I’m a junkie because I can’t tell them what’s actually happening

Rio: Are you imagining a world in which I’ve casually told mine

Rio: because no

Buster: I imagine your mum is currently too busy to realise anything’s wrong

Rio: She’s pregnant, you don’t get to just do that and ignore the rest of your life 

Buster: The point is, you’re not giving up a single thing

Buster: I’m the one having to act like I hate Dublin all of a sudden

Rio: I apologised for telling you not to come, it was a mistake, I can admit that

Buster: But you don’t admit coming back for Easter or any other time before August would be?

Rio: We’re going to have to work out how to eventually

Rio: it’s not for me to tell you that sooner rather than later is the approach or otherwise

Buster: [precisely how long it is between now and Fearghal’s bday like a countdown] is eventually

Buster: before is ridiculous and would be another mistake

Rio: I’ve not told you you have to come before

Rio: if that’s what you think is best then do it, don’t act like I’ve got it easier than you somehow though because I don’t

Buster: You did those were almost your exact words earlier, you said I’d feel left out

Rio: You will

Rio: come, I’ll skip whatever you want to go to to make it up to everyone

Buster: We might as well hold a neon sign above our heads if we’re going to be that unsubtle with our turn taking

Rio: Just until August

Rio: and I can think of an excuse that isn’t I hate everyone and think I’m better than this so

Buster: There aren’t even many events in the calendar before August, mainly Easter, that’s all

Buster: skipping such a boring hol won’t kill me

Rio: I thought your parents came back for Rocky’s bday, or your dad’s? Around that time

Rio: but yeah, you’ll live, I guess

Buster: And they will anyway

Rio: I don’t need to be at either of those, if you want to, is my point

Buster: Alright, fine

Rio: You either want solutions or you wanna be right 

Rio: it’s not like I’m saying I can fix this completely, calm down

Buster: I already said okay

Buster: What more do you want?

Rio: You don’t need to be so mad at me

Buster: That’s the effect telling someone to calm down tends to have

Rio: You would think that, I’m sure you only say it to be passive-aggressive 

Buster: According to you everything which comes out of my mouth is, unless it’s straight up aggressive 

Rio: Surely that’s what you’re going for

Buster: Yeah, I approach each situation from a predetermined angle like some kind of psychopath 

Rio: I’m just talking about this one

Rio: you don’t want me to like you, it stands to reason

Buster: You don’t, allegedly, I’ve achieved my goal already

Rio: Aren’t you happy about it?

Buster: I’m saying, why would I continue to labour the point?

Rio: Because you’re heavy on the ‘allegedly’

Buster: I’m big on honesty

Rio: Really?

Buster: You know I am

Rio: If it’s a game 

Buster: No, always

Rio: I don’t feel like we get to be honest now

Buster: We’re honestly doing the right thing, this is the best solution we’ve got

Rio: Right

Buster: Trust me

Rio: There’s no alternative so who cares

Buster: So [the date, whenever he’s agreed to return in April idk cos Rocky’s bday is right at the start and Fraze’s is right at the end] but I’ll see you in August

Rio: Probably, yeah

Buster: And then we’ll get a break until Christmas, assumedly

Rio: Christmas could be different anyway

Buster: Potentially, the baby’ll be born

Rio: People who want to might just come to us

Buster: Makes sense

Rio: Here’s hoping, right

Buster: I’ll take what I can with it being ages away

Rio: Plenty of time to move on

Buster: To try harder, at least

Rio: You must be talking about me 

Buster: Well, I do wish you would

Rio: Now you do

Buster: Don’t you?

Rio: Wish I would move on or you?

Buster: Why not both?

Rio: They could have different answers

Buster: They shouldn’t

Rio: I won’t tell you either way, then you don’t need to concern yourself

Buster: Your prerogative, babe

Buster: I won’t demand you tell me

Rio: You could try but doesn’t mean I’m any more likely to

Buster: If you could resist me we wouldn’t be here

Rio: Could say the same of you

Buster: You could say a lot of things

Rio: Be easier to call, all the things could be said

Rio: but we’re not doing that anymore

Buster: Would you answer if I did?

Rio: I thought you didn’t like hypotheticals 

Buster: What gave you that idea?

Rio: It was the specific hypothetical of you being satisfied by what has occurred that you took offence to then, I see

Buster: You could just answer the question instead of trying to hide behind specifics

Rio: And you could just call and see

Rio: you want to

[weirfq1]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🪢❤️‍🔥😬

Francesca and Yam

(yes I'm very predictable always picking my two fave characters)

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

This is a pretty popular headcanon but they're both bisexuals in my eyes

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

Cis Francesca while i feel like Yam is the equivalent of that tweet that is like "i'm probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn" (same) as in she doesn't really think about her own gender like that (because gender and pronouns really aren't a big deal for her and she's alright with anything but also because with everything going on in her life right now this would just make her question herself even more and put her into a crisis) but she would probably fall under the non-binary umbrella (even if she doesn't use any kind of etiquette)

🪢 A headcanon about their family

Francesca has a big family and goes back to Italy so often because she knows that if she doesn't go visit her family members even at least once every few months/years (if possible), they might impulsively decide to come to Buenos Aires and spend a month or so at her family house, and even though she loves them to death, it would be such a mess.

Yam's family consists of her single mother, the son of one of her mother's high school girl friends (that grew up around them and took the habit of referring to her mother as his own mother/second mother and treating yam as a fraternal figure [thing that she won't ever admit enjoying so much]) + Ramiro and Jim <3

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

Before dating someone, Francesca has always made fun of the couples that matched clothes because she thought it was embarassing and a bit too much… Not even one full week after starting to date somebody she already bought her partner a matching jacket (nothing too crazy, just the same model of jacket in two different colors), and that is only the start...

Yam isn't really into physical touch unless she really knows and trusts someone but she's a good listener and if she wants to show you that she cares, she just brings stuff. You will never have to worry about bags, backpacks, books or similar things because there wouldn't be a single second of the day in which she'll let your arms be full. She also knows by heart your orders and will not only predict them but also anticipate your own needs before you even know it.

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

Francesca probably broke something that had a big sentimental value for her grandma but put the blame on her uncle (from her mother side) hoping that it would've never come out. After she came back to Rome, during a big family reunion, at one point her uncle calls her to the side because he has something to ask her and she doesn't think anything of it (from her point of view it's been ages since that happened). He brings up the whole thing, asking her if she knows why his mother accused him and was so sure that Francesca personally saw him doing that and she thinks of lying... of maybe saying that she's old and confused and doesn't know what she's talking about; but then she looks at her grandma's face and back to his uncle and just admits fucking up. He already knew that she was the one who did that but still covered her back and took the scolding at that time. Now that she isn't scared anymore, she wants to take full responsibility and maybe ever try to repay both of them for her actions and the hurt it caused, but her uncle puts his hand on her shoulder and tells her that it's okay and it's now passed... to just keep doing what she's doing without lying. (If you ask Francesca she would probably say that there are a lot of worst things she had done —objectively speaking— but this is the thing that made her feel the worst and that stuck with her.)

For Yam i'm not sure but she gets super paranoid and stressed out about any little thing, especially when she has to lie or hide something so whatever she did wasn't actually that bad, she just gets into her own head a lot lol

[kassy-munson]

Hey so a totally random thing hit me today after all this hoopla.

Last month I got really into tarot and for fun I did a reading on Joe’s career (seriously I was just looking at how great his work will be down the road so it was nothing majorly invasive). Anyhoo; the reading I pulled was kinda weird and honestly scared the hell out of me.

I pulled cards that read gossip will fly about him soon and it was not good, someone gets betrayed, and fall into some bad habits that they will need help getting out of. I also had oracle cards which read someone being used, sabotage, persistence and working on a bad idea, then bad endings but some growth from them.

Now take all this with a grain of salt; because I could have actually read something else. But I felt at the time I was seeing cards for something personal and put the deck away and afterwards felt very off; according to my friends in that group it’s common when you connect to the realm. So today after seeing those images it occurred to me that reading and the depth of it.

Now this relationship is just getting gossip and so far; most reactions seem to be negative and all towards him and how betrayed fans feel. Maybe I was picking up the situation and what his fans would feel, not them. I refuse to do any further readings as I feel personal stuff with tarot is a no go, but I was looking at his job for the last one and got this. I don’t know if this will last between them or not but I thought it was interesting how it all aligned with my reading over a month ago; it’s also weird I said he’d probably date her for a time after seeing her concert because I had my gut feeling.

Sorry everyone if I caused this. 😬🔮

interesting… 🧐

[starbeltconstellation]

So, right off the bat, I’ll just say this: you and I will probably NEVER agree on anything related to SW or the Jedi/Jedi culture, for the simple fact of the matter that you seem to be a “Death of the Author” believer in interpreting SW (including how many SW fans seem to have adapted the belief that the story is about the ‘corruption 🙄’ & ‘FaLl Of ThE JeDi 🤪 (why is it so hard for fans to say “genocide” again? Maybe because it makes it easier to blame them for their own slaughter that way? 😬🤷‍♀️’), whereas I am a SW fan who believes in taking into account what GL originally intended audiences to take away from his movies (including both the original trilogy AND the prequels).

I will reply to you and explain my perspective, and if you and I can stay civil in our discussion without descending into petty insults (whether that be targeted at me OR the Jedi/Jedi culture), then I will be happy to continue to debate with you. Otherwise, if we both become frustrated, I will inform you it’d be best to block each other and move on, because I am of the belief people should all be allowed to curate their social media experience the way they want.

That being said, I’ll get into your response:

“To be fair, George Lucas's mishandling of the Jedi in the prequels did unfortunately help set up this sort of thing (for goodness sakes, they literally decided to cover up the fact that they weren't as strong with the Force as they used to be in AOTC, you really think they wouldn't do something like this? ESPECIALLY when they canonically didn't even BELIEVE in absolutes?). Besides, this existed in Legends as well with the Sith Genocide (with Revan playing a HUGE role in THAT event).”

Firstly, GL clearly sets up the Jedi as the heroes/most moral ones of the galaxy in the prequels, ESPECIALLY compared to the Sith, who’s ultimate goal is canonically to cause pain and suffering thorough out the galaxy to achieve as much power as possible (one of the biggest ones is achieving eternal life. Not as a Force ghost, but as actually being PHYSICALLY alive forever). So already, right off the bat, that’s another big problem I have with The Acolyte that essentially has the villains (Sith) try to act like they’re being ‘oppressed’ by the Jedi, when really, the only reason Jedi fight AGAINST the Sith is because—the Sith try to MURDER everyone?? 🤷‍♀️😭

The Jedi are NOT against all Dark Siders (if they WERE, the Nightsisters wouldn’t have even been allowed to exist. The Jedi might not AGREE with their beliefs, but as long as they don’t bother/murder people, the Jedi legit don’t care), but they ARE specifically against the SITH, because the Sith regularly have this annoying little habit of trying to enslave/oppress/destroy the galaxy.

Now, onto your next position: the Jedi hiding that they’re not as strong in The Force because of the Dark Side clouding The Force/their ability to telepathically perceive the world/people around them.

It’s debatable if this is THAT bad of an issue. Is it bad they lie? Maybe. But then again, a LOT of characters in SW lie about things, but Jedi are always the ones fandom seems to nitpick their smallest failings at. 🤷‍♀️

Personally? I don’t think they were wrong to lie. George Lucas canonically says in interviews the Jedi are put between a rock and a hard place in joining the war (ANOTHER thing they’re condemned for by the fandom, when apparently—what was the other option?? Sitting on their asses and letting the Separatists burn the galaxy? 🤷‍♀️), and this scene is just another example of that.

Sure, lying is usually a bad thing. But people lie all the time in military operations to keep missions a secret. Yoda points out to Mace that if they were to inform the Senate that their use of The Force has diminished, then their enemies would multiply—inside the SENATE (which is currently corrupt almost 80% by Palpatine), and on the other side of the war with the Separatists. It makes perfect sense to not share that information. What good would it do? Make the Senate release the Jedi from their position as Generals in the war? (It’s debatable Palpatine would EVER allow the Senate to do that, as that would effect his plan of Order 66, but let’s pretend like they can.) It’s not helpful to their situation in trying to end the war and the oppression of the Separatists enslaving planets (because they WERE doing that. It was the only way to get the Jedi’s attention in choosing to save people in joining the war, despite it going against their Peacekeeping beliefs), so this point being some example of the Jedi’s ‘arrogance’ is a very weak one in general.

Furthermore, why are you using THIS SCENE with the Jedi deciding not to share something about THEIR OWN Force powers as some sort of ‘gotcha’ regarding my disbelief of The Acolyte portraying the Jedi as clearly OOC by covering up a MASSACRE?

There’s a LITTLE BIT of a difference there. Lol. 😭🤷‍♀️

Is it just because it’s an example of the Jedi lying? Almost EVERYONE has lied at one point or another. And yes, Jedi are no exception to that rule, but there is also a big difference between lying about THEIR OWN FORCE POWERS to a corrupt Senate, and lying about a MASSACRE of a group of Force sensitive witches (which is something fucking ANAKIN does by lying to the Council for years by not telling a soul but Padmé about his Tusken massacre, which essentially has this show paralleling the JEDI’S actions with fucking ANAKIN’S foreshadowing actions of him being Darth Vader?? 😭🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️), which basically is just character assassination for a group of space monks who’s main belief in compassion for all. I might’ve been able to buy the Jedi making a mistake because of a misunderstanding—but covering up a MASSACRE? Hell no.

The ONLY reason the show has them not tell the Council is essentially also why Anakin makes the stupid decisions he makes in the Prequels—because they can’t go against the canon of the movies that happen later on in the timeline after their show/trilogy.

You’re correct that George Lucas and the way he has trouble explaining his thoughts/perspective is part of the mishandling of the Jedi and how it makes the SW fandom misunderstand who they actually are—but NOT for the reasons you think.

I’ve checked out your blog a little bit, and I see that you’re apparently someone who roots for the Empire, because of what GL wanted the Rebellion to represent (so I’m pretty sure you have a bit of a bias against the Jedi either way, although I’m sure a part of that is from the Legends canon, which I already don’t agree with and just see as basically glorified fanfiction used to write Jedi OOC from other western authors that clearly misunderstand the Jedi culture being inspired by non-western cultures. But I also acknowledge that I too am biased in the sense that the Jedi are something I’m passionate about), so already, I feel like no matter what I tell you, you will not agree with the Jedi’s decision to put aside their cultural beliefs on Peacekeeping to fight in the Clone Wars to help save lives, because most people seem to be of the consensus to throw the baby away with the bath water, instead of the Jedi’s decision to try and fight in the system to do harm reduction (saving planets from Separatists/trying to teach clones to believe they have individuality, since they don’t have the power to give the clones rights) where they can in The Republic, despite—yes—the Senate’s corruption (because despite what people WANT, most Politicians ARE corrupt, no matter WHAT planet or galaxy they’re on; just look at our planet).

And this is speaking as someone who HATES the Acolyte because of this and the sad thing is, this ALL could have been avoided if George Lucas didn't use Obi-Wan to promote relativism TWICE).

Relativism: the doctrine that knowledge, truth and morality exist in relation to culture, society, or historical context, and are not absolute.

So, as I take it you already don’t like George Lucas and his views/probably heavily agree with the “Death of the author” trope, then none of this answer I’m about to give will matter to you.

Either way, I’ll leave it here:

George Lucas has a clear vision of his story: it’s a soap opera in space, basically. Good vs Evil = Jedi vs Sith (bla, bla, bla—all that crap, ya know? You might not LIKE it—but that’s what the Sith CANONICALLY are. They’re the BAD GUYS). Not only are they the BAD guys—but they are LITERALLY meant by GL to be the baddest of the bad—because the Dark Side to GL is a CANCER in The Force that poisons the mind with darkness. Therefore, it is not POSSIBLE for the Sith to be ‘oppressed’/cruelly genocided by the Jedi for their ‘culture’—because their ‘culture’ is just MURDERING PEOPLE/OPPRESSION. 😭🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Even saying all of that, if you’re complaint is that GL portrays the Jedi as the ultimate moral/good in the galaxy, I don’t know what to tell you? 🤷‍♀️ Because—like it or NOT—that is CANONICALLY what they are and represent. There’s a REASON GL has the last movie in his Original Trilogy named: Return of the Jedi. Because—in GL’s canon—the Jedi are the HEROES of the SW universe. Their return is supposed to represent a GOOD thing (of course fans have twisted GL’s original meaning to interpret it as Luke’s Jedi Order being a ‘Order not full of corruption 🤪’ is actually why the Jedi coming back are a good thing and not a bad thing—but that’s NOT GL’s original intention).

EVEN when saying all that: GL doesn’t say the Jedi are infallible, despite what SW fans seem to imply the lore has always stated. Jedi can die, Jedi are humans, Jedi care about people/cry/love/make mistakes. George Lucas SAYS that in interviews! He’s never pretended that the Jedi are these perfect paragons of virtue. BUT—in comparison to everyone ELSE in the galaxy (INCLUDING the Sith), the Jedi ARE the most moral people/culture in the galaxy.

You might not LIKE that—but it IS the truth, in relation to what GL intended. 🤷‍♀️

A lot of fans don’t like this. They want there to be a ‘gray Jedi 🙄’ interpretation, because they want to be edgy and get to use the Dark Side without the threat of becoming evil. And yet… it’s just not how it works. 🤷‍♀️

Even the Nightsisters—as much as the Jedi usually leave them alone—are NOT strictly these ‘kindhearted’ Dark Siders. Remember what they did to Savage? They brainwashed him and made Savage kill his own brother. So yeah—as MUCH as fans might like to believe otherwise—almost EVERYONE that deals with the Dark Side, comes away from it a little worse than they are.

There IS no such thing as a gray Jedi. The closest I can think of is actually Mace Windu (which is ironic, considering a lot of the fandom hates him, just because he was strict with Anakin 🙄🤦‍♀️), considering how Mace uses Vaapad as a lightsaber Form, which is a refined form Mace created himself to help control his anger/Dark thoughts.

If you are curious to learn more about how GL actually views The Force and the Dark Side, I’ll leave a link to a blog that knows more sources about it than I do.

In conclusion: I still stand by everything I’ve mentioned above on The Acolyte, and the only thing I think you and I will EVER come to agree on is that I do think GL has a hard time translating what he wants from his stories on screen (this shows in his trouble writing dialogue), and I wish that he’d replaced the Jedi’s cultural beliefs on “attachments” by replacing the word with “possession”, because this is basically what the Jedi believe regarding loving people selflessly instead of selfishly like Anakin did in the end with Padmé when he viewed her as a possession. I believe if he’d done this, SW fandom might not have as much as a misunderstanding on the Jedi and their culture than they do.

Ahh, and THERE it is… 🙃🙃

I have kept my opinions mostly to myself about The Acolyte, because I wasn’t planning on watching it until seeing where it went with the Jedi. Almost everything in SW media has an element of Jedi criticism (sadly 🙄), so I knew that would be a given with this show, so I was holding off on any total judgment until the end.

One thing I KNEW I would despise and would make me not ever watch it is if they actually made canon that the Jedi brutally murdered an entire coven of witches and COVERED UP A MASSACRE (wtf on that part, because they would NOT cover it up, even if they’d made a mistake). Apparently, it is not as bad as I feared, and they don’t destroy the Jedi Order’s characterization entirely.

But THIS line. 🥶🤢

With THIS line that is apparently written in the newest episode—that’s it. You’ve lost me.

Because THIS line is just straight up genocide apologia.

Ohhh, of course they don’t come outright and SAY, “Loool, those space wizards deserved what they got! 🤪🤪✊”, but the implication is pretty clear, all the same.

From the very beginning, I knew the showrunner of The Acolyte didn’t like the Jedi or their culture, and said that her show “wouldn’t be kind to them.”

And I could’ve lived with just the stupid vagueness of portraying the Jedi as a pompous bureaucracy (because it’s just an infectious opinion that’s spread through most of the fandom), without FULLY condemning The Acolyte and declaring the show a terrible portrayal of the Jedi and their morality and culture, along with the CANON aspects of the Dark Side being a cancer in The Force that does nothing but make people miserable and cause imbalance in The Force.

But with THIS LINE that is SO clearly a wink and a nudge to the SW fans who believe the Jedi ‘deserved what they got’… 🙄🤢… I’m sorry, but they’ve officially lost me. 😬🤷‍♀️

There are things that I’d probably like, if I ever can make myself stomach getting through the show: seeing how different cultures view The Force, seeing more of the Jedi Order/culture/Temple/how they teach their students, the characters Sol and Jecki and Yord and Osha—even seeing Jedi fighting style being so different and more defensive while trying to not use their lightsaber unless necessary, since they are in a time of peace.

But for the most part?

With THIS frankly DISGUSTING line, I can say with absolute certainty that The Acolyte is a show that I would never enjoy, and that is frankly not a welcome addition to the SW universe to me.

I appreciate the diversity inclusion, and I find myself relating to that meme that says something like: “When you hate a show, but then realize the other people that hate it are mostly bigots, 🙃🙃” because—unlike THOSE moronic dudebros—my criticism is for the story itself.

It’s a genuine shame. It’s such an interesting premise, getting to see the Jedi in the High Republic Era. But with this… I now know that The Acolyte is a show not worth my—or ANY OTHER pro Jedi fan’s time. 💔😔🤷‍♀️😬

Only thing I’ll say in defense of it: Mr. Sith (?) IS hot. 🔥❤️‍🔥

And that’s the only other praise I can give. 🤷‍♀️

Loool, sorry for the rant. I’m just so pissed off. 😭🤷‍♀️😂

[mewtwoandme]

I apologize for not being all that productive the last few days guys the heat down here where I live has really taken a toll on my motivation to even do the smallest of things...half the time I feel like the wicked witch of the west and I'm gonna melt into a puddle XD I'm still at work right now, today's gonna be a late day unfortunately...and since there probably wont be any art posted for a while, I thought I'd start up a muse game! ^^ It's been awhile since the last one I did with you guys lol. So I figured I'd get a start on it now so that when I get home I'll have a decent pile of asks to answer.

There are a lot of you who are probably new to one of these muse games but no worries the game rules are simple.

Send an ask to any of my characters with one of the following emojis to get a specific question answered. Make sure you type the name of the character you're asking first. (character's name):(emoji)

RP Muse Asks

👍👎 Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

🗣 Are you introverted or extroverted?

😬 What bad habits do you have?

🤣 What makes you laugh?

❤️ How do you display affection

💪Strongest character trait?

😪 Weakest character trait?

👊 How competitive are you?

👏 How do you react to praise?

🤬 How do you react to criticism?

😭 When was the last time you cried?

👻 What haunts you the most?

⛺️ Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy

🤤 What is your guilty pleasure?

🫂 What quality do you value most in a friend?

🪞If you can change one thing about yourself what would it be?

😍 What is your obsession?

🙄 What are your pet peeves?

(These are good to start with. You're still welcome to ask them any other questions that's not listed as well if you get your own ideas. Also if you have a hard time finding some of these emojis, its fine. You can just send the question ^^)

All right I'll leave you guys to it, have fun!! :D

[billsfangearring]

I've really enjoyed reading these posts today—thanks for kicking things off and making this lovely banner, @efkgirldetective! I thought it would be fun to do one myself even though I'm not a fic writer. (Yet? See Goal 1. 😬)

Goal 1: Publish my first fic.

I will almost certainly regret stating this publicly, but I've got about 1,200 words written of my first fic. It's a First War Remus/Sirius fic that probably won't be most people's cup of tea, but it's the story that started bouncing around in my head this fall that eventually drove me to give this whole fic-writing thing a shot. (Lessons learned so far: Plotting is hard! Atmosphere is easy! I use too many similes!) Since I'm in it now, feel free to ask me how I'm doing with this and hold me accountable—@consistentsquash and @the-dream-team have already been doing a good job at occasionally prodding me about my snail-like progress.

Goal 2: Publish four more of my Wolfstar Yearbook rec lists.

For those who don't know, I've been putting together rec lists of my favorite five or so Wolfstar fics completed in each year, starting with 2003 (the publication year of the oldest fic I'd ever read). I cranked out five of these in less than three months over the summer and kind of burned myself out on the pairing and those posts for a few months. I think aiming to post one every three months is a sustainable goal given other things I want/need to do next year.

Goal 3: Publish at least one non-Wolfstar rec list.

I'd really like to do some sort of Jily rec list, maybe sticking with my M.O. of reviewing older fics that aren't as well-known now. I can also think of a few other pairings/themes that I conceivably could do a list for. I already have a multi-pairing time travel rec list that was well-received on Reddit, but I haven't posted it here because it doesn't really fit my tumblr "brand," to the extent that I have one. I may post that over here too at some point, but it won't count toward this goal.

Goal 4: Publish another deep-dive single fic rec.

My excessively long review of The Last Enemy series by @chdarling was an interesting challenge this fall. I'd never written an in-depth review like that before, and the fact that TLE is a WIP series with a pretty intricate plot added another layer of difficulty. I had a lot of fun analyzing it in more depth though, so I'd like to set a goal for myself to do another one of these if something else speaks to me in 2022.

Goal 5: Consistently leave comments on works I enjoy.

It took me 15 years of silently reading fic before I mustered up the courage and effort to leave my first comment. I've tried really hard these past six months to make commenting more of a habit, and I'm happy to say I've managed to build some momentum! Part of this process for me personally has been giving myself permission to not do the absolute most with every comment—they don't have to be beautifully articulate and insightful to mean something to the author and make me feel happy about leaving one. Lowering that self-imposed barrier to entry has been really helpful for me to get better at commenting. I want to keep working on this in 2022.

I think most of the authors I follow on here have already been tagged. As a reccer/reviewer myself, I'm going to tag some fic rec blogs I've appreciated this year instead. Zero pressure to do this, of course, but I'd love to hear your 2022 goals for your reviews if you have any you'd like to share! @consistentsquash @wolfstarwarehouse @wolfstarlibrarian @wolfstarhaven Anyone else who wants to participate should consider this an open invitation too!