#that would have underlying existential themes and be very sad

[theromanticrationalist]

Just found out that a super secret third “Big Bang Theory” spin-off show could be in the works. If it isn’t a Sheldon and Amy domestic dramady, then I don’t want it! I seriously could watch Sheldon Cooper’s entire life Truman Show style. 😭

[maxparkhurst]

How did you create your characters? What was your process?

TMI Tuesday:  How did you create your characters? What was your process?

// <offers out a chair> You’re going to want to sit for this. It’s going to be a LONG story. For those who’re looking for a short answer: I’m actually in the middle of creating these two. Edits and tweaks are always being made to make them appear real and true. And it’s thanks to everyone on here and in-game that they’ve progressed so much. 

Now for the long version. 

<buckles seat belt> 

Evolving as an Author:

Maxinora and Augustine Parkhurst are a culmination of ideas inspired by a myriad of things. The process of creating them isn’t linear. It has a lot of pit falls, unexpected twists and turns, and a ton of hills. To understand how we got the current versions of these two, we need to go back a couple years ago. 

It’s the summer of 2012. In efforts to get me off of his account, my Dad gifted me my own. This was when I made my first ever serious roleplay character- a hunter named Evelon Holmwood. Well, at the time I spelled it like Evavllyn but...Yeah. We’re going to gloss over that fact. Now, Eve was my pride and joy for the last several years. I played this character nonstop, refusing to play or write about anyone else. In retrospect, I used this character more as therapy than anything of creative merit. 

Eve’s story was basic at best. But I got better with story-telling the older I got. Unfortunately, her story got so convoluted that I had hard time salvaging anything from it. Now, you’re probably asking: How does this relate to Max? Fear not. I’m getting there. It was around this existential crisis that a mutual friend of my boyfriend and I convinced us to leave WoW and hop on SWTOR. My boyfriend was more than eager to make the switch but I was skeptical. Leaving WoW meant leaving Eve. And was I ready for that? 

He assured me I was and helped me make a character on SWTOR. This was the first iteration of Max. A bounty hunter from Nar’Shadda named Maxinora Fenrik. My intentions was to make her a lowkey copy of Eve. At this time, I wasn’t very confident in my writing abilities and liked to stay in my lane. But, the more I roleplayed this character the more she took on a life of her own. She evolved past Eve and exceeded my expectations. Playing a new character bolstered my confidence and while I no longer play SWTOR -due to OOC reasons- I still have fond memories with this character. I enjoyed this character so much that I reused several components of her design when making Max. Some which include her name and being blind in one eye. 

I flipped between the MMOs when Legion dropped. Expenses started to pile up and between the two subscriptions I didn’t have the time to play both. In the end, WoW won my affection and I made a Blood Elf because I had friends on Horde Side. Rorien Hawkthorne was her name. A drunk artist and master assassin. She’d be the second iteration of Max. She had an older sister complex, an affinity for being melancholy, and it was my first experience with playing a character who could kept secrets- or tried to at least. Another new character under the belt and I was feeling a little more confident in my story telling abilities. I’d probably would’ve kept playing that character if not for OOC drama happening in a guild I was in. The fallout had me jump back to the Alliance where I indulged in creature comforts. It was back to Eve. 

Tumblr made an entrance in my life around then as I ventured forth with a refreshed look on my hunter. I salvaged what I could and made a half-decent story. A lot of her misadventures are still posted up on her blog @evelonholmwood​ On the side I made the third iteration of Max. A fire mage and blacksmith combo by the name of Rowan Celwick with her younger brother Thomas Celwick.  They were just two orphaned kids trying to make a life in Stormwind. Rowan was an arcane drop-out and blacksmith wannabe and Thomas...Was...Well? Thomas? A glorified side-piece? A way to garner pity for Rowan. I didn’t place a lot of emphasis on them or their characters. My main focus was Eve. But these two would be the underlying foundation of Max and Auggie’s characters. 

I eventually took a hiatus from WoW and focused on more personal writing. The details are boring so I’ll gloss over it by saying that creating a character completely from scratch was the final push in the right direction for me. Fast forward several months to a year aaaaaand BOOM! Pandemic. 

Writing is an escape for me. It’s one of my best coping mechanisms during trying times. And when nothing else works, I over indulge in some Warcraft. So, I resubbed. There was hesitance when re-entering the RP scene. I didn’t leave Eve’s story off on an convenient note. For lack of better phrasing, I wrote myself into a hole I couldn’t get out of. So, with the help of my boyfriend, I decided it was time to give Eve her happy ending and shelf her for good. 

Which put me in a dilemma! Who was I going to RP? Well, you remember the Celwicks? They became my newest project. 

The Creative Process: 

I knew the Celwick story was weak and read much like a middle-school fanfiction. Revising was a must. But there were integral pieces to their story which I enjoyed: 

Familial Sacrifice 

Juxtaposing concepts

Intertwined Fates

These were themes I could work with and evolve. Keeping these in mind, I started to deconstruct the Celwick story line. They were no longer Gilnean but Kul’tiran. This prompted a name change from Celwick to Parkhurst. And I won’t lie, I like the sound of Parkhurst better than Celwick. Thomas became Augustine and Rowan became Maxinora (Mainly because I actually HAD the name Maxinora and not Rowan). The little changes got me hyped for the characters. 

Next, I started to trim away the unnecessary details that bogged down the narrative. Things that either didn’t fit or made the timeline too convoluted were replaced. Pyromancy was a great example. The age I wanted Max to be wouldn’t yield to her understanding of Pyromancy. At least, not to the level I WANTED it to be. SO, I turned it into lament’s magic. Alchemy. (I also always wanted to play an alchemist since watching FMA) 

A girl with two professions seemed excessive as well. I had to look at why I wanted her to be both an Alchemist and a Blacksmith. The answer was simple. I just liked the juxtaposition of an intelligent woman being rough and tumble. Which made me ask: Was Blacksmithing necessary to achieve that imagine? The answer was no. To pay respect to her previous iteration, I made their parents blacksmiths. It also let me keep themes of fire in her concept. The change in profession brought on a change in her appearance. I made her a little more slender to fit with the alchemist appeal. 

Max’s aesthetic was brought on by my previous characters.  Rorien inspired more internal facets of Max while Fenrik inspired outward appearances. Max’s auburn was strictly a decision made on the fact that I had one too many character’s with black hair. There wasn’t any other reason for it. 

Designing Max was easy. The real challenge was with Augustine. Up until that point, all I had to go on for his character was Tommy Celwick and...Well. There wasn’t a lot there. He wasn’t much more than a poorly used trope and I considered doing away with him all together. But I realized that I REALLY liked the trope and I liked what he did for Max’s character.  So, I buckled down and made myself think through all the reasons why Thomas Celwick -AKA Augustine Parkhust- needed to exist. 

I decided that I needed him in order to present themes in Max’s story. He was the foil to her character. Cynic older sister? Meet optimistic brother. He also appealed to not only the three themes listed above, but also the newest one I wanted to explore: two sides of the same coin. Max and Augustine are simultaneously the same, having similar traumas, and yet different. If for nothing else, Augustine could help propel Max in the right direction. Be her moral compass, you know? With a bit of half-assing here and there, I managed to get a decent character out of Augustine. Took the cliche nerdy brother idea, physical design and all, and ran with it. Shortly after I  made their Tumblr account. In no way did I expect this BOY to take on a life of his own. Like, Auggie knocked on my brain’s door and was like, “Yeah. No. I’m not a side character. Give me my own story...” 

Which will bring me into my final point! 

The Characters Write Their Own Story: 

I’ve never been able to sit down and plan a story. My mind doesn’t work in such a structured fashion. It wanders and explores. When I’m creating, I’m watching. Watching the scenes play out before my eyes as these characters take what I’ve given them and grow into something almost independent of me. The basic pieces of Max and Auggie’s back story, along with character design, were purposeful. Yes. But everything that came after was THEM.

It’s cliche, I know, but I can’t describe this experience any other way. These two grew outside of my influence and now dominate a space in my brain. They talk, work, and interact without me. I mean...Not REALLY. But...It feels like that. It feels I’m watching through a keyhole and just recording what I see as their story plays out. 

I guess a better analogy is me being the director. I’m watching the movie in the stands as two actors improv. On good days, I’m in control and rework scenes until I’m satisfied with the results. Try this. Move here. Say this. On bad days, I don’t see anything. My actors went home. The lights are off. Show’s cancelled for the day. These days make me sad...But they’re worth it because on the BEST days...The best days Max and Auggie run the whole show, and I am watching through the keyhole as their story unfolds little by little. 

It’s truly magical. 

The last part of their creation was the voice. Character voice, for me, is like building muscle. You need to work out. Start small and work your way up in weight. Every little piece I wrote made their voices stronger; and that’s including asks and threads. Interacting with other characters helped to flesh them out as people. And while it was hard and intimidating at first, it’s started to become easier. 

Wrap-Up

My method is messy and untrained. I don’t claim to have any secrets. My knowledge of writing is mediocre at best. But I’m having fun. And that’s were the real magic of any character comes in. Fun. Because if you aren’t writing about something that sparks your soul- either with love, happiness, hatred, etc- then it’s nothing more than a forced, hollow husk. Writing is meant to evoke emotion. At least in mind. And want to express complex emotions and share them. In a perfect world? My characters -any of my characters- resonates with someone. They become the escape someone needed. That’s the ultimate goal. 

It’s thanks to all of you that Max and Auggie have come this far. It’s from their interactions with others that they’ve managed to evolve into something incredible- especially Augustine. He just kept shining brighter and brighter until I felt obligated to make him an in-game character. So, you all are just as much a part in the creative process as me. Thank you! 

And a special thanks to my boyfriend for always being a sound board for my rambling ass <3 

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, ANON! Sorry I posted an essay...<3 

[aesirfalling]

From your writing asks: #1, 8, 10, 26, and 28 :) I wasn't sure if you had wanted me to answer any specific ones myself, but since it was an ask I wanted to respond properly~

I definitely wanted you to answer some specific ones yourself :^)

What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

I think this is obvious to everyone who’s read my more recent fics (so like... my fics from 2016 onwards?), but I like to write “realistically,” especially in regards to joys and pain. When people write about angst things like breakups and depression and physical illnesses they are sometimes hesitant (rightfully or understandably so, in many cases) to really get into the nitty gritty, and in many cases, uglier parts of them, but like, they’re a part of life and people in our lives don’t have a good time (or even many good moments at all) when these kinds of things happen to them. Those moments are still important, though, and I personally feel like embracing the dark aspects of those things makes getting through them in the end more emotionally and existentially powerful? If that makes sense. I’m definitely still wrestling with, like, the extent to which I should write such things (esp. since like, in most cases, fic readers are not reading your fic to suffer), but I think my underlying sentiment as a writer is to examine/meet feelings and life unflinchingly and with some kind of grace.

(I’ll get to the joys eventually. I swear. I have that draft of the second chapter of Lost and Found in my Google Drive. There’s Radiance and the mood in that, too. I just don’t like to write too much preemptive joy.)

The other thing I want to bring up as well is a kind of like... infrastructural realism? Or is it like, socioeconomic, worldly things? Like we’ve talked about this as well RE: how I’m covering Hope in my fics and how you worldbuild a lot around missions and such in yours. I think this is mostly a fic thing since to do this well requires a longer fic with a lot of forethought, and most people don’t have time for that. And honestly most people don’t like Hope for the structural engineering work he put into building new planets either

Favorite dialogue in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

Oh man this interlude is going to be CHOKE FULL of dialogue that will kill me and most of them haven’t even been written yet

But the things that I’ve already put down on my dump file are like all dialogue

Here I just wrote up this thing

Snow: Go on then. Tell me that you don’t miss the stars. Tell me that you are okay with just sitting here day by day, pretending that you don’t know anything, pretending that you don’t have regrets and wants. Tell me that you don’t care if I won’t invite you to the wedding with Serah, if Light finds another man, or if some orphanage is burning on the other side of town. Tell me - 

Hope: I don’t think you understand. I never needed anyone to motivate me.

Hope: I needed someone to stop me.

What scene was the most fun to write for you and why?

Hmm... we might have to establish a definition for ‘fun’ :P

I think in more recent memory, I’ve had the most fun writing the dialogue between Hope and E1 in the Intermission, because I relish all opportunities to write him (especially in FWWCH where I’m usually banned from writing in his POV) and writing two of him is just double the fun. I also adore all occasions where introspective idiots have to talk to other versions of themselves because it’s kind of like. The inevitable 404 error when they realize they are actually empathizing with themselves is tearjerker and heartwarming central.

What do you feel like you need to work on as a growing writer? How can you improve?

Oh lordy there are so many things. Lemme just list a few off the top of my head

1) Linguistic ability: There is definitely a part of me that is sad about the fact that leaving my home country at the age of 11 has left me in a place where I am kind of bilingual but kind of... not really “Native” in either. Like, I have this lingering feeling that I’ll never get to the level of a “Native” English speaker/writer, and I definitely hit like language ability walls all the time when I write - things wouldn’t feel naturally lyrical, I’d run out of words, I wouldn’t know how to describe something the way it should be described, the sentence structure variety is pitiful, etc. I think it’s especially apparent when you’re writing a long fic, where like you have to deal with the same things over and over (e.g. writing Hope cooking, or how Lightning physically perceives him, etc) and there’s more of a limit on where natural inspiration can take you. I should read more good prose (since that’s apparently how I get better at English) but, ugh, effort.

2) Characterization: how many times have I whined about how much I suck at writing Lightning lmaooooooo I think the general thing is like, everyone is decent at writing someone they personally relate to, but we struggle when we try to write outside of our comfort zone. Lightning is definitely the poster child of “character unlike me that I’m trying to get a hold of,” but I think I struggled even more trying to write Fang, and I’d probably struggle trying to write someone like Cid seriously. I think a large part of the struggle is trying to morph yourself into that character (or, like, dissociating from yourself and just... “becoming” that character depending on how you view writing meta??) since like, just understanding someone is not enough. Just understanding someone won’t let you write convincing dialogue where they talk and move around the way they usually do. You have to like, become them and that’s really hard when you have a strong writer’s ego (I know, shocking, coming from me.)

3) Worldbuilding: wtf am I even doing with Hope’s White Lotus thing lmaoooooo anyway a world could always be more interesting, consistent, realistic, nuanced etc. And not necessarily through more word count on the worldbuilding-y stuff. I think it’s more about understanding the factors driving the world than anything else. Like what the resources are, who has power/agency, how things are done (e.g., in our world, decisions are mostly made by individual nation states, although large corporate entities often have immense political influence). AND THEN JUST LIKE CHARACTERS THERE’S THE STRUGGLE WITH EXECUTING THEM - like just because I understand there are rich oligarchs behind things doesn’t mean I’m good at writing the Great Gatsby. I dunno, I have a perpetual sense of imposter syndrome when I try to understand and write things about the world, regardless of whether or not the world is real. I feel like a large part of this goes back to the fact that I’m still only in my 20s and haven’t seen much of the ‘real world’ as they say, although I guess I’m technically still way ahead of most fic writers.

4) General writer’s attitude: this influences themes and the heart of one’s writing. When I say that I care a lot about the grace and dignity of my narratives and my characters, it ties back into this - I want to tell human stories, and I want to tell stories that reflect on our struggles and our faith despite said struggles. It’s the kind of lens that I filter all my words through and impacts every word I write. The obvious problem, then, is that my writing’s only ever going to be as perceptive or sympathetic as I am, and that’s something that I can and should always work on. Am I too obsessed with tragedy? Am I honestly far better at posing questions than providing solutions, even when I highly value solutions? How do I become the kind of writer and person that I want to be without driving myself insane or losing touch with the people that I want my writing to speak to?

5) Discipline: Am I ever going to finish FWWCH (or H&L or any of my other WIPs lmao)? Stay tuned.

I think a lot of my self-doubt as a writer comes from just how much I know I can improve on tbh

Do you need background noise to write? If so, what do you listen to?

I wouldn’t say I work with “background noise” - I work with mood-appropriate playlists (did you know I’ve been gratuitously naming all my fic chapters after songs?), or you know, the good ole 2 o’clock cosmic silence. It’s pretty interesting to me actually, since I also have an engineering degree and like... I need silence when I’m trying to logick things like math or the correct wording for a formal writing thing (e.g. a grant or policy proposal). So my creative hemisphere wants stimulation while my mechanical brain wants silence. Figures.

[arplis]

Arplis - News: How Medal Of Honor: Above And Beyond Goes 'Above And Beyond’ For Veteran

s Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond is a VR experience rooted in real-life World War II history. Immersive and highly interactive, the game on its own is an enjoyable experience, but what many might not know is how positive of an impact it has for veterans and shining a truthful light on American history.  For those that may not know, the VR Medal of Honor experience from Respawn Entertainment allows players to step into the role of an agent of the Office of Strategic Services during WWII in a ravished European setting. It offers an enjoyable multiplayer experience alongside a stunningly fleshed-out single-player campaign that offers an honest representation of those moments in war not often explored; the quiet before a mission, the realization that "we're at war" that many soldiers feel in and out of moments of reality — even the easy camaraderie that comes with knowing the person beside you will defend you with their life, even when sometimes the price is just that.  I recently sat down with game director Peter Hirschmann to learn more about the game after playing through the campaign and some of the PvP. As a veteran myself, hearing how the team went 'above and beyond' for veterans and their stories, while also providing meaningful experiences meant to educate without romanticization meant more than many will ever know.  For players, they aren't just getting a game, they're also getting a documentary experience with in-depth short films diving into the stories of real World War II vets, taking them back to the places that have impacted them the most, and listening to their stories with open hearts and open ears. With the Gallery, players can unlock over 90 minutes of real-world experiences of eight surviving WWII veterans. Unlock a mission, unlock an actual piece of history, making Above and Beyond emotionally raw and more than just a game.  "The youngest combat vet from World War II is in their nineties," the director tells us, driving home the idea that first-hand accounts of what actually happened are becoming more and more distant. "The youngest is in their nineties. That means they were teenagers. Gil, who is one of our future guys, was 19. He was a 19-year-old kid on a tank. "Gil tells an amazing story about going through the Harz Mountains on a Chaffee tank. He's in the back and this little boy jumps out and stops the convoy and asks for help. They have to tell him, 'No, we can't take you with us. We're going to a battle. We're going to the next town. You need to stay here. Someone will be along soon'. They drive away and Gil talks about the haunted forlorn look in this little boy's face, just standing on the side of the road as they all rumbled down."  It was upon hearing Gil's story that the team realized that the amazing potential for education and closure if they could bring Gil back to that location. Being 93, there were concerns, but the organization Honor Flight helped make this a reality with the consent of the veterans themselves and with the upmost care. Ensuring that all involved were comfortable, cared for, and safe, the team embarked on one of many journeys explored throughout this entire process tied to Above and Beyond.  For Gil, it was going back to a camp he liberated at 19, a place that he never returned to until this documentary went into production. The team took other surviving veterans to familiar places as well, each given the opportunity to tell their story in their own way, in their own time. Sometimes even giving them a chance to tell their tales to close family members for the first time ever. The documentary houses so many incredibly powerful stories. Stories that show the friendship that endures war (and forms because of it), the losses that come with it, and the side not often seen in mainstream media: the human side. The quieter danger, the moments of reflection, and the parts of history that are a very close reality to many still with us.  One story centers around David, taking him back to a moment in time where he lost his best friend Smitty. Upon returning to that spot, he met with Smitty's family to honor a promise made when the pair entered into he war together, a promise to visit the other's family should one of them fall. David met with his family, telling them their story in a way that was incredible beyond words.  Click here to watch embedded media "When they get there, the mother, who lives there, said to him: "David, this is a hat I made for you." Throughout the rest of our time, he never takes it off. It was this floppy straw hat that she wove herself, and he ever takes it off again the entire time. It's so wonderful. After, they invite him to their home and it's hard for me to talk about it because you can get a little emotional," Hirschmann says tearfully. David, who is "the funniest guy I've ever met," continued to share his story and that of his friendship with Smitty where eventually they find his friend's grave. Out of respect, the team stood back and gave him a moment of privacy as David spoke with Smitty for the first time in decades, laying a picture of Smitty's parents on the grave, and saying his farewells.  The photo, in particular, was important because Smitty's family never visited the grave. "The mom was too distraught. They never came because back then families had a choice to either let their loved ones be buried and turned in Europe; either one of the big cemeteries in the Netherlands or in Normandy, or to be brought back and repatriated. Smitty's mom was so devastated that when it came time to make that decision, Smitty's dad was like, 'No, just let him stay resting in the Netherlands.' The mom was brokenhearted the rest of her life. So for David to go to that grave site and lay a photo of the parents was just, I mean, God, it's hard to recount." The team then took at 360 shot of the gravestone, allowing viewers a chance to witness, and be a part of, a moment of closure with David, a way to pay respect in a powerful way. That being said, the team's most important goal was to capture the emotional truth of these stories without exploiting them, so we made sure that nothing in the game was taken directly from these tales.  Click image thumbnails to view larger version                                                                                                                As a veteran that took part in operations overseas with Operation Enduring Freedom and New Dawn, there is a comraderie that is hard to explain to someone who has never served. These are people that could die, these are people that could watch you die, and everyone's survival is dependenant upon trust. That trust is paramount when building these relationships, and that trust is something that Respawn wanted to convey in the game as well. It's more than just dramatic monologues of existential crisis, it's the small moments when joking about the crap food in the chow hall, or "where did my socks go"? It's the small moments that mean just as much, and it is those small moments that are reflected not only in the game, but in between the lines of the stories being reflected in this documentary series.  Another aspect that Respawn wanted to make sure they paid special attention to is how they portrayed the war. Too many times in war games, the "bad side" is either dramaticized for flair, or romanticized for ... some other reason. There are no occult substories, no quests of endearment. This is the tale of a real war with a real enemy and while that enemy housed real human beings, the ideal that acted as a banner was dangerous, harmful, and evil.  "If you're embellishing the Nazis, if you're embellishing the third Reich, you're reading the wrong history books," says the director emphatically. "So just to make sure we're staying true to that, that's important. For players, and for us, embrace that it's a game. Then to lean into which we haven't done in one of these WWII games, lean into some bad and sad things do happen to the characters, it's all part of a bigger picture." Without falling into any inaccurate tropes, there is the underlying theme of there will be consequences. "As much as that comraderie and that love and being united in a common purpose and fighting against legitimate evil, which is what the Third Reich was, that doesn't steeple away from the fact that there is going to be a price. There are going to be consequences no matter how noble your intentions are. So again, we kept the firewall there between what the vets were telling us and what we were learning and even Colette for godsakes, who was a teenage girl, member of the resistance. There's nothing in Colette's story that transfers over except the fear of the Gestapo and how collaborators were the worst. Just getting those elements into the story without being one-to-one to the story details, but touching on these sort of through-lines. That was the goal. "We made them in parallel," he adds when talking about how the tales of these veterans inspired the game without being an exact replica. "The stories were fuel for us to make the best game possible, because if we just put it out the gallery on Steam and on Oculus store, we might get some nice marks. There might be one or two articles about, 'Oh yeah, you can watch these documentaries.' People would probably look at it as some sort of educational thing. So the game is the hook to get you in. I mean, the whole point is to have fun, but the game is there to get you in the door and to maybe trigger some empathy that, 'Oh, I do want to go hear the real thing.'" That was also a big reason behind the decision to go VR. In VR, everything is a little more real. You are picking up the gun, you are holding your hands up in surrender. You are there. This added yet another layer of complexity to not only the campaign of the videogame itself, but also to the empathetic layers of the documentary itself. Humanizing people that survived a horrific time, a time that was a reality and a cornerstone in our history. "It's all about creating empathy. If you come out the other end of it, knowing more about WWII, which is always one of our secret goals, knowing more about what happened, because it still echoes in our life today, but then really having hopefully some actual empathy for the sacrifices that these guys made. Every player today is different, but if a typical player is a 19 to 24 year old, I don't mean to stereotype, but they're hearing from the folks that were doing these things for real when they were their age. Seeing what others did at their age, knowing some of the horrors they faced, the friendships they made, and the harsh pillars of history, is hopefully a powerful connection. At the end of the day, this was created out of the hope that there will be more empathy." It was a special moment where I could share some of my own stories with the director and tell him from a place that understands how much the level of care that went into this project that means. As a veteran who has lost many friends, as a veteran that has been in positions where I was so sure I was going to die, it's easy to get lost in the more gimmicky representations of war. Does it bother me? No, not really. I'll play every Battlefield game, I'll play every Call of Duty; they're entertainment, that's what they are. But that doesn't mean that this very meaningful and purposeful representation doesn't mean an incredible amount. Everything about Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond felt real. It felt like it was coming from a place of compassion, and coming from a place of honesty. It never felt cheap, it never felt gimmicky, it didn't feel manufactured in the slightest.  When speaking with the game's director, it was easy to see that the passion for empathy and knowledge was there. This wasn't a rush to get buys or pre-orders, this wasn't a play on emotions for a more consumer-driven objective; this was love and respect and real human experience. Respawn did not use these veterans' experiences to sell a game, they used a game to tell their experiences. That nuance makes the world of difference and helps to ensure that history isn't lost, but also that it's not being retold with rose-colored glasses.  Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond is available now for HTV Vive, Valve Index, and the Oculus Rift. You can also play it with the Oculus Quest as long as a Link cable is present. You can also learn more about Honor Flight, the veteran-focused group that helped make this documentary a reality, right here. 

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/how-medal-of-honor-above-and-beyond-goes-above-and-beyond-for-veteran

[wickedlyqueer]

A Wicked Analysis: Fiyero

This post is an in-depth analysis of how I interpret Fiyero and why I made certain changes to his character in Wickedly Queer, not only for his character to work in a slightly alternated version, but also to try and give him more of an arc than he actually has. So with a final note that this is just my interpretation, let us begin!

There are very few things Fiyero Tigelaar and Fiyero Tiggular have in common. (For one, they don’t even share the same last name). I feel it’s hard to pin down book!Fiyero because we only get to really see him one chapter and I think that’s also why the musical writers didn’t really bother sticking to the character. But there is one aspect I found that both of them have in common: boredom.

In the book there’s this quote: “He knew he was in lazy doubt about everything; doubt was much more energy efficient than conviction.” That is about the most character revealing I found, but it does set a certain tone. Then there’s the musical. Let’s start with a lyric breakdown of his song Dancing Through Life (or as I like to call it: happified existentialism!)

What the characters around him hear and see is a boy who just doesn’t care about the rules and does his own thing and seems happy doing it. But look through the thinly veiled surface and you can see why Elphaba later on makes a comment about how unhappy Fiyero actually is:

“Life is fraughtless / when you’re thoughtless.”

Translation: Don’t think too hard, because if you do, you’ll fall into an endless pit of despair and nobody wants that so let’s have a party!

“Nothing matters / But knowing nothing matters / It's just life”

Okay, teen angst edge lord, calm down…

“Only because dust is what we come to.”

Haha, yikes! It’s a twisted version of ‘Carpe Diem’ that’s actually closer to ‘Memento Mori!” (don’t forget you’ll die!). And yes I am aware that the “thoughtless” and “brainless” is all just foreshadowing and an inside joke for the fate of Fiyero becoming the Scarecrow, but you cannot deny there is some serious existentialism going on here.

It also shows the contrast with the ending of the song, where it describes Elphaba’s and Glinda’s relationship: “And the strange thing / your life might end up changing / while you’re dancing through.”

While Fiyero basically sings: “just ignore life, you’re better off that way”. The theme Glinda and Elphaba dance to is: “if you go through life, and open your mind, you might end up being surprised by yourself and the people around you and being better off because of it.” Subtle lyrics difference, huge difference in implication.

This is my main motivation to believe that Fiyero is actually depressed. However he is not the (stereo)typical “I’m depressed and therefore sad and therefore will do nothing”. He is depressed in a sense that he’s going into reckless behavior, to try and feel something again. This is also amplified by the fact that he keeps getting kicked out of schools. Something in his life isn’t adding up, but he hasn’t discovered what, so instead he ignores it in the hopes it will go away.

Now here’s the point where I start to disagree with the musical writers, a lot. Because the story arc given to Fiyero is: “he falls for the less conventionally beautiful girl, and that shows growth because it means he no longer values being ~shallow~ and ~popular~ but loves Elphaba for who she is inside” and ok yeah this show was written in the early 2000s but come on it wasn’t even that revolutionary back then, it was every fucking teen movie I can think of off the top of my head.

Loving a girl that is not as conventionally beautiful as another girl is not a story arc. It’s not a ““sacrifice”” or selfless for “settling for less”. And no, I don’t think the writers actually thought like this when they wrote the script, but it’s still there. It’s the same old tiresome trope of “love is blind” and while that may be sweet in some ways, it’s also pretty dang nasty when you take a sec what it implies.

The logical step for his character development isn’t love. Fiyero doesn’t need to learn how to love. He knows how to love. Fiyero needs a purpose. Something to believe in; something to fight for. He needs to feel alive and getting the idea that life is worth living. That’s what Dancing Through Life is suggesting after all! He’s bored, and he needs something to do that doesn’t make him feel like he needs to shove down his negative feelings with mindless and careless behavior.

That’s where Elphaba comes in. Elphaba is the most passionate person you can meet. In that regard, they’re completely opposite from Fiyero. They know what they want out of life, and goddammit they will do everything in their power to get it too. Does Fiyero fall in love with them a little bit? Absolutely. But in the second act, Fiyero realizes that although he could not win Elphaba’s affection, it doesn’t really matter that much, because they have opened his eyes to being passionate about something.

Fiyero becomes passionate about the Animal cause. Through Elphaba, he has seen the injustice that is happening in Oz. In fact, he obviously has felt some himself being a black queer man. He definitely does have some privilege (mostly class-privilege) being a prince and all. But it does awaken a flame in him to stand up for what is right.

Instead of loving one person, he now loves others regardless. In the musical and in the book he is pretty selfish. Yes, he’s aware somewhat about the Animal cause, but he doesn’t really do anything about it. Just goes after his own interest. This is definitely not the case in WQ.

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When you apply all that I’ve discussed so far to Fiyero’s character in Wickedly Queer I hope his actions make a lot of sense. So in chronological order:

He comes into Shiz and almost drives his car over Elphaba

Elphaba calls him out, and specifically in WQ they say: “Is this really how you go through life? Do you even notice anyone besides yourself?” which will come back later to bite Elphaba in the ass, because they’ll be proven wrong.

It doesn’t take a lot of convincing on Galinda’s part for Fiyero to agree to be her beard.

Like 70% because he has his “scandalous” reputation (rumors that he has dated boys, which is obviously true because he’s bi) and Galinda’s ‘good’ image will reflect well on him too. About 20% because he’s bored and depressed and has a habit to throw himself into all kinds of stuff just to do something with himself. And 10% because he is annoyed that Elphaba just called him selfish and he wants to prove them wrong.

This means that after Popular and before Dillamond gets fired, the exchange between Elphaba and Fiyero also changes. Galinda has told in the previous scene that Fiyero is her beard. Mending Elphaba’s judgement that he is a selfish prick. When Elphaba is properly ‘Galindafied’ and Fiyero comments on how “[Galinda] charmed [them] already” they are both aware of the connection the other person has to Galinda:

Elphaba knows Fiyero is bearding for Galinda.

Fiyero knows Elphaba has a crush on Galinda.

This also changes why Fiyero isn’t affected by Elphaba’s magic. Their opinion of him has changed because of Galinda, not because of that lousy comment of “You don’t need to know that y’know?” (do better boy >_>)

In the Lion Cub scene it is again established that Fiyero is not selfish at all: “Let me help you” until Elphaba dismisses him. When he protests, saying he is not useless, Elphaba agrees and tells him quietly that they were referring to Galinda. “It’s very thoughtful of you to look out for her.”

Break Time Question for the crowd: why can Elphaba call herself ugly in musical canon, and dismiss any compliments she receives, while it’s clear to the audience that this is not true. While Fiyero constantly depreciates himself by saying he is: “brainless” “thoughtless” “unwise” and everybody simply goes along with it. Right, right. Scarecrow-inside-joke. But still. He seems to have as many self-esteem issues just like Elphaba. Just the other way around. (smart <-> pretty)

That’s why I think it’s very important that Elphaba actually calls him thoughtful in this moment. But just as Elphaba cannot see themself as pretty, neither can Fiyero see himself as smart.

Of course, Fiyero is also realizing in this moment, that he is kind of admiring, dare he even admit, crushing on Elphaba. Which is incredibly unhelpful, because in the previous scene he already noted that Elphaba has feelings for Galinda. So while Elphaba frees the Lion cub, Fiyero gets to sing an I’m Not That Girl alternation in which he utilizes all these thoughts.

((He likes Elphaba, but they like Galinda, for whom he’s bearding. And while in the original Elphaba expresses how she’s not ‘beautiful’ (I wasn’t born for the rose and pearl) enough to be with Fiyero. WQ!Fiyero will most likely sing something similar, only he would not feel smart enough to be with Elphaba, even if they weren’t already in love with Galinda)).

When Elphaba is ready to set off to Emerald City, Fiyero still gives her flowers, but when he says: “about that Lion cub and everything, I think about that day a lot” it’s not a romantic implication. Fiyero has actually thought more about Animals and how unfair they’re being treated. Yes, flowers still indicate some romantic implications, but also to show his support. And hey, who doesn’t love a bunch of flowers, right?

Act II

We start act II with Thank Goodness. While I might not have changed a lot of dialogue here, I feel like the underlying tone of this scene has shifted tremendously from the original. So let’s dig into it, because I love this scene a lot.

So it becomes clear very quickly that Fiyero is still bearding for Glinda. When Glinda announces their engagement.

“Surprised? :D” “Yes..!” has a completely different meaning, because to Fiyero it reaffirms that Glinda is scared shitless to come out the closet and would even go as far as having a fake marriage with him to keep her public image.

When the Ozians start bashing Elphaba, they both get really upset. Fiyero storms off and Glinda goes after him. I kept this interaction mostly similar, because it shows where both of them stand. Glinda thinks it’s hopeless at this point. Elphaba left, Glinda stayed “that’s all there is to it”. She has accepted her role as public figure. Fiyero on the other hand doesn’t hesitate a second to suggest they should just leave this all behind. He’s ready to join the resistance at any time.

I’d like to take a moment and point out that Fiyero and Glinda are genuine friends in WQ, and after years of pretending to be a couple, they’re very aware of each other and their respective role. Fiyero is also no idiot. After Elphaba left, Glinda must’ve been an absolute wreck. He was there for her, because he’s the only one who knows that Glinda is gay and quickly put together that Elphaba’s and Glinda’s feelings were mutual. He knows it’s pointless to go after Elphaba, because he doesn’t even know where to start looking.

Until, an opening appears. Because Glinda stayed behind, she is now on good terms with the Wizard, who is quickly transforming her into a public figure. Fiyero discusses his plan to find Elphaba with Glinda and Glinda puts in a good word with the Wizard so Fiyero can join the Guard to “search for the Wicked Witch”.

In WQ Fiyero doesn’t join the Wizard’s Guard to try and find the woman he’s pining after. He joins the Guard because he wants to find the friend they both dearly miss. He isn’t emotionally cheating on Glinda. (That’s the whole “Glinda no, it wasn’t like that” “well it was… but it wasn’t.” referring to after all. Clearly it doesn’t count because they didn’t fuck right? Well jokes on you: emotionally cheating is still a form of cheating!) A complete dynamic change that I feel is for the better.

So Fiyero is ready to leave, until Glinda talks him out of it. “They don’t want to be found. You’ve got to face it.” It bursts the bubble of Fiyero’s dreams, but she has a point.

Glinda apologizes for the surprise engagement and explains: “people were asking questions.” Fiyero immediately understands she freaked out and came up with the surprise (public!) engagement, so people would stop asking questions. They have ‘been together’ for years after all. and you know if it’s one thing straight people are good at, is reinforcing heteronormative bullshit down everyone’s throat!

Glinda quickly says they don’t have to go through with it. She understand what Fiyero has done for her all these years and doesn’t want to pin him down in a position he doesn’t want to be in. Yet to her surprise, he agrees.

(I want to stress once again how selfless he is acting in this scene)

still he doesn’t leave without dropping a truth bomb: are you really sure you want to live your life behind a mask?

“But I have to ask, don’t you want to be with someone you truly love instead?”

Boq-Fiyero Parallel Break Time! Alrighty! We’ve entered the Nessarose/Boq scene and even though Fiyero is not in it, I’d like to take a moment to point out a parallel I have been thinking about, but not actively incorporated in the GIFs.

Musical!Boq is more a plot-device, which I’m not as bothered by as some. I do love book!Boq (with the exception that he’s a peeping tom, which fortunately, he grows out of). His banter with Elphaba and their friendship is one my favorite things of the entire book. So with my sincerest apologies to book!Boq, I’ll now delve into how WQ!Boq is even worse than musical!Boq.

So let’s take a quick look at all the speaking men roles of Wicked:

Dr. Dillamond: 100% plot device. Introduces the bigger issue, and just like in the book, is more a symbol than an actual player. He’s good, but has no real arc.

The Wizard: manipulative enabler with no real powers. Next!

Boq: seemingly nice guy who pines after a woman he can’t get and then becomes completely bitter and joins the witch hunters after he’s turned into the tinman. Conclusion: asshole.  

Fiyero: falls for another girl then the one he’s with, which is far from a crime. But then, doesn’t break up with Glinda, staying by her side while pining after Elphaba. Leaves Glinda for Elphaba and makes sure Elphaba stays alive. Conclusion: compared to the other guys not as big-a-dick-he-could-be. He’s the only guy out of the three main men who we’re suppose to side with.

I won’t explain Fiyero’s role again, because I think you get the gist by now. So what has this to do with WQ!Boq? Well, I’d like to turn him into the Nice Guy. Yes. That creep. He sees Galinda and instantly turns her into his manic pixie dream girl. He projects his ideals on her, without ever bothering of actually getting to know her.

His advances on her are explicitly predatory, because Galinda is a lesbian. She won’t ever return his affection. (Although, to be fair, Boq doesn’t know this. But the audience does. So the audience will feel uncomfortable with his behavior). Now, here is the parallel between Fiyero and Boq:

As you may remember, WQ!Fiyero develops a crush on Elphaba, and in a way, also projects certain ideals on Elphaba. Still, there is a difference with Boq. He is in awe of their passion, a spark that he has not known before that point. They inspire him.

Moreover, and this is the important part: Fiyero doesn’t sulk over his crush. He’s immediately aware that Elphaba won’t return his affections: and he accepts it! When he sings I’m Not That Girl he isn’t blaming Elphaba for anything. He just sings about what a stupid timing it is and how inconvenient these feelings are, and more than anything, it becomes apparent that Fiyero doesn’t think much of himself.

Instead of blaming the world for this unjust, he starts thinking about Elphaba and why they rescued the Lion cub. He starts seeing the injustice in Oz. And in the second act he’ll come to the conclusion that he has (mostly) misread his affections for them. They aren’t romantic as he thought, but are feelings of admiration.

Fiyero is a friend to Elphaba and Glinda. He comes close to those two, and helps them. He never complains that he isn’t loved the way he may have wanted at one point. He’s already glad to be a part of Elphaba’s life. This is reflected by the plot, which rewards his behavior.

Meanwhile, Boq never gets over his crush. In the second act, he’s still with Nessarose. Let’s remember that she has been pitied her entire life. Yes, she got more love and attention than Elphaba, but it had always that negative layer  underneath of a “pity party”. If people were shown to care for Nessa, they got popularity points for paying attention to the “poor cr*ppled girl”

Nessa really wants to believe Boq loves her, but she’s always placed second. She knows, on some level, she’s always been treated as a ‘lesser’ human for her disability (which I made a small plotpoint in WQ) So it’s additional painful that deep inside, she knows, that she’s only a second choice to Boq, who much rather would be with his self-indulgent fantasies of Glinda. 

This behavior gets punished in WQ. I’d say Boq’s behavior is already pretty heartless even before his heart shrinks and Elphaba turns him into the Tinman. He doesn’t respect Glinda or Nessarose. He becomes the bitter Nice Guy, who joins the witch hunters to kill the ‘woman’ who has wronged him.

The Wizard’s Chamber scene! This is a really important character moment for Fiyero. I have explained how Fiyero just goes along with almost anything due to his depression, causing him to be quite selfless. But now, there’s an opening to go after something he actually wants. Elphaba is right before his eyes and thus the Animal cause is within hand reach.

This is the first time we see Fiyero wanting something. He wants in. He tells Elphaba that it doesn’t matter what it costs.

“Fiyero [helping me] will haunt you for the rest of your life” “What if I believe the cause is worth it?”

Let me also emphasis here that Elphaba and Fiyero genuinely believe Glinda prefers to be in the Emerald City. Elphaba thinks so because of the Defying Gravity scene, where Glinda decided to stay behind. Fiyero thinks so because of the Thank Goodness scene, and her reluctance to run away, admitting that she can’t turn away from the glamour. (Little do they know the conflict within Glinda has already settled: she wants to be with Elphaba).

Glinda is suddenly overwhelmed by the whole scene and before she can even object, Fiyero has reminded her to “be good” and keep playing her part like she has done so far. And Elphaba and Fiyero run off.

(Yes Glinda is so upset that she does tell Morrible and the Wizard to “spread a rumor about Nessa”)

Obviously Elphaba and Fiyero won’t sing As Long As Your Mine. They do discuss some resistance stuff, and while Elphaba is at first reluctant, Fiyero points out that he’s already a fugitive “so I might as well be useful.”

While first act Fiyero seemed to be incredibly confident, in a later part of the scene, you’ll see he’s actually scared. Because for the first time, he has something to lose.

He uses this fear as a fuel. If he’s afraid of losing it, it’s worth fighting for.

There is obviously some more plot points yet to come, but I hope this explains the majority of his character in Wickedly Queer and why I interpreted him the way I did.

All is to say, in Wickedly Queer I tried to create an actual arc for Fiyero. Yes, one that might be pretty straightforward. But I’d also like to think that he challenges the viewer. As I’ve pointed out: Fiyero is never shown selfish during the entirety of the show. He constantly is shown helping others. When he does chose for himself, it’s in helping Elphaba and the Animals. So in a way, still pretty selfless.

It actively challenges the idea that most viewers will have when he first enters the stage: that he’s a rich, spoiled asshole. Instead, together with the rest of the characters, our prejudices trick us, and we soon realize that Fiyero grows into a wonderful guy who wants nothing more than the best for the people around him.

In the musical, Fiyero is supposed to be the good guy; in WQ he is the good guy.

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Oof! Thanks for making it till the end! If you like this let me know. (damn I sound like a YouTuber. Don’t forget to hit that like button ;D) But seriously, I know I spouted a lot of theories just now (some of which may be complete bullshit) and I’m super interested if you have your own thoughts on this!

If you simple can’t get enough of these Wicked analyses, there’s the general wicked meta tag where I exchange theories with some of my followers (y’all are great! :D it’s genuine the best thing about this entire blog to interact with other wicked/gelphie fans!)

Here’s a (way shorter) analysis examining Fiyero’s “It’s looking at things another way” and comparing it to Glinda’s: “Why Miss Elphaba, look at you, you’re beautiful.”

I also did a video-analysis taking a closer look as Wicked as an adaptation, and yes, I will continue mentioning this until the ends of times okay? I worked very hard on that video. Link: Wicked: Re-imagining Stories Through Adaptations

[her-culture]

The Book That Changed My Life: TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

Recently, author Mitch Albom announced the release of his latest book, The Next Person You Meet In Heaven, his first-ever sequel to the 2003 best-selling novel, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I remember being introduced to Mitch Albom’s work for the first time back in eighth grade, when I had to write a review. Most of my friends did not particularly take a liking to the book, since they felt that it had a lot of philosophy to take in for someone who was just in high school at the time. I, on the other hand, actually found myself liking the book and would re-read it a couple of times again.

The first novel, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, revolves around Eddie, an 83-year-old war veteran’s journey in heaven and his interesting encounters with five significant people who give him answers about his life’s purpose on earth. While Eddie is shown dying, trying to save a little girl Annie’s life in the first book, the sequel throws light on Annie’s journey in heaven and her reunion with Eddie, who happens to be one of the instrumental five people that explains to her how important her life was and mattered in ways that she didn’t know was possible.

One of the central themes of Mitch Albom’s books connects fiction with real life philosophy while attempting to understand the abstract complexities of life in more concrete and simpler terms. It helps us try to comprehend the meaning of our lives, and sometimes even that of life after death. Much like Albom’s novels, I started believing that everything happens for a reason. In what turned out to be a strange coincidence, I picked up The Five People You Meet in Heaven instead of Tuesdays With Morrie for the aforementioned book review assignment. Little did I know that this would end up becoming one of the best decisions of my life.

When I chose to read the Tuesdays With Morrie, I was in a very different headspace. I wasn’t reading the book with any underlying motivation of wanting to get a good grade or because I was simply asked to do so.  I read it because I genuinely wanted to read the book out of my own sheer will. This time, I was a little older than I had been four years ago and the person I had become was definitely nothing close to that of the carefree thirteen-year-old who had absolutely no care in the world. I was at a crossroads in life, facing an existential crisis in terms of my career choice after high school and was undergoing an immensely stressful time grappling with the pressures of being an Indian high school student whose life and future solely depended upon on how well my twelfth grade board exams would take off.

Tuesdays With Morrie is a memoir that delves into the relationship between Albom and his college professor Morrie Schwartz, with whom he reconnects many years after college when he finds out that Schwartz was suffering from ALS syndrome. This results in Albom spending every tuesday with his professor which leads them to having engaging discussions about various concerns in life such as forgiveness, regret, sadness, and, of course, the fear of death.

While these fears were already plaguing my mind, it was the fear of regret which topped my list, especially with reference to my career choice. However, later on when I looked back at my high school experience I realised that more than having regrets, I would end up missing the lessons I had learnt from my teachers, who were not just responsible for guiding us academically but were also deeply involved in guiding us through life by striving to make us better human beings.

As I slowly transitioned into college, I recognised how important these mentors were in the years to come. Their distant yet familiar voices would still guide me irrespective of the problems that I was facing or a new situation that I was unsure about. While I used to distinctly remember their advice and follow it sincerely during the first few months of college, gradually over time their voices started fading away as I had started making sense of the world through my own lens and newfound experiences.

However, one day as I was going through an extremely vulnerable phase of my life, I took a walk down memory lane to try and remember the person that I used to be. As I started searching for answers it dawned upon me that apart from my parents, it was my teachers in psychology and sociology who were somehow always present during all the major milestones during my teenage years. Whether it was encouraging me to open up in front of a large crowd, challenging myself more without underestimating my abilities,  being open to new experiences, not being afraid of having strong opinions, or coming out of my awkward shyness, they instilled an unwavering confidence in me that helped me overcome difficult situations on my own. By sharing interesting anecdotes from their lives and being painfully honest through their stories, they taught me not to be judgemental, to always be patient and understanding and more importantly, to always recognize the good in everyone and be optimistic no matter how cynical life got. Just like how Morrie used to be with Albom even during the last stages of his life.

Today when I look back, I can proudly say that I am extremely grateful to have had these mentors in my life. Even though it is difficult for us to keep in touch regularly like Mitch and Morrie, the often lesser-known life lessons that I learnt from my mentors have helped me grow from a pensive, under-confident kid to a strong and independent girl. Although most of us meet these mentors during school or college, it is absolutely possible for us to meet them at any juncture of our lives, and sometimes when we least expect it. They happen to be one of the most compassionate and generous people who have served as a guiding force for millions of other people, before and after us,  who still require them just as much as we do. On account of this, it is very important to acknowledge their presence and seriously imbibe the lessons that we learn from them,especially because of the limited time that we share we them.

When I often think of my teachers, especially the ones who were present during my last two years in high school, I only remember a lot of love, kindness, and empathy in their unconventional yet hard-hitting life lessons, which have always stayed with me since then. Apart from making high school a better place to be in by letting us enjoy the last two years without getting completely getting sucked into the academic pressure, they not only made learning fun but also went out of their way to prepare us for the real world that we were going to step into very soon. More importantly, they gave me the strength to constantly strive to be a better version of myself. Just like Morrie, they too have shaped my life in an unimaginable way and came into my life when I most needed them. I will always be forever thankful to have had the privilege of knowing them and will cherish all the wonderful memories and lessons I have learnt from them for the years to come.

[mattgrips]

Divinity

Power -> The potential to do work (overtime). A simple scientific attempt to ascertain the meaning of power. A great definition to establish power grids and make batteries but without further elaboration, it’s hard to see it in more of the kings and rulers kind of sense. Certainly, the president is powerful -> he/she can do a lot of work (overtime). I don’t know, that doesn’t sound right to me. A powerful engine can produce a lot of work to move a hunk of junk around, but the way a president/manager/CEO does work is more indirect – they are only one piece in the system where many other movers expend additional energy that accumulates into the later fruits of collective labor. But following the same logic, I would be hard pressed to isolate an individual engine component and declare it as powerful. There’s a lot about us people that isn’t taken into account when looking into power in this abstract sense.

The difference is Will. Once this is established, it is easy to see how power is both defined and allocated within a system of human beings. Now power is not a matter of how much work one can do, but how much work one can command. Following this additional concept into our universe is a snowball of newer concepts amalgamating into our anthropocentric worldview: respect, class, shame, pride, reputation. All wonderful terms that help us distinguish each other and enrich a world that would be rather dull without. I’m partially kidding – obviously power is one of the first ways we are introduced to our vices and fallibility. By inventing power we have essentially created the currency that enables our vanity, greed, and selfishness to run amok in the world. Life is no longer indifferent matter and energy. It now has us. Woohoo

I’ve cut going into a longer tangent to get to the original point of my post. Obviously, just like with ‘purpose’ (discussed in my previous post) the combined elusiveness and necessity of power has inspired many to try and write a book about it. The massive pile of power-related books attempts to see power in many different perspectives; from diplomatic (The Prince) to military (The Art of War), to business (Something by 50 Cent probably), to fantastical (fables i guess). Obviously this isn’t a topic that is only found in specific publications. Power is an apparent revelation in literally everything we do, so many perspectives exist outside of literature. It’s all quite a bit to wrap your head around. Luckily there exists a book that has compiled most of our history of power into a comprehensive anthology for totally academic and not pecuniary purposes.

Enter Robert Greene’s ’48 Laws of Power’. I picked it up last week and have enjoyed reading it up to this point. Much like other books, it is filled with obnoxious and facetious rhetoric, but it’s all good because it’s all in reference to historical accounts where it was okayy to talk like a sociopath. I can go on about the 48 Laws’ many contradictions, impracticalities, and immorality but to do so would be like intelligently discussing youtube drama. It would force me to talk like I was above the book’s pettiness, cynicism, and condescension. I most certainly am not, and I appreciate a book that understands when a topic is too broad and undefined to be talked about in a way that has no humor and play in it.

So I’ve enjoyed this book for what it is -> the book equivalent of Assassin’s Creed: an action packed adventure sprinkled in with historical tid-bits meant to not so much explicitly teach me something, but take me through a journey of the human experience through story, myth, and anecdote. And it does quite a good job. The stories are engaging enough to have me pondering many things happening in my life.

I want to discuss on the last law I read about today. Law number 30: ‘Make your accomplishments seem effortless’

I like this one because it’s one of the less objectionable laws. Also, it is one of the laws that has a more coherent connection to the underlying concepts of power that the book is trying to express (assuming the author had an underlying logic to his writing and was totally not just regurgitating content into a marketable way for money). Throughout the book, there has been a recurring theme on maintaining appearances. Greene cleverly recognizes that in the game of power most people are more equally matched than the power differences we observe in the world suggest. What differentiates people from each other is more of a matter of public perception. Two people can perform at the same caliber of whatever on the public stage but still be perceived very differently. One may be seen as the more honest competitor, or the more likable character, or be attached to a more noble cause, or a higher virtue. Whether these perceptions are true or not is not a practical concern in terms of transaction costs, and societal well-being. If there is to be any social fabric keeping us together, people can’t be in continual skepticism throughout the day. The result is a world based on appearances which creates a playing field where objectivity is obscured and people can be exalted to higher realms that any physiological, intellectual, or conscientious basis could never accomplish.

This is the only idea that is so apparently and consistently followed throughout the book. There are so many gaps in our perceptions of everything, all of which require too much rigorous work to actually figure out. Also deterring us is the likely prospect that whatever we discover will be a thousand times more boring than whatever we can imagine in our heads. Of course this last point is subjective as many find wonder and excitement in what others would call dull, but there is a well-defined picture of what the ‘public’ finds objectionable, boring, exciting, and just even though this majority is becoming more and more blurred these days (ill elaborate later).

Anyways, one of the many gaps in our worldview is the one inquiring on the varying capacity of human potential. The main driver of this gap is the inconsistency in seeing amazing human beings on TV, radio, stories etc. while also seeing the abysmal existence most of us live out for whatever reason. How could it be that some live to be great men and women while I struggle to get up everyday? Possible rational (but not necessarily true) explanations can be drawn from the social sciences, using a varying arsenal of socio-economic theories, or from the physical sciences where we can explain everything away with biological and atomistic determinism. If I’m really unfortunate , I may end up with an explanation that puts sole responsibility on myself, and my ego would hate that.

No matter how you slice it, finding a rational explanation for the outcomes of other people’s lives as well as my own is way too rigorous, and boring. What is more natural/probable (not necessarily more desirable) is subconsciously drawing conclusions from what I see from the outside. From the limited time I spend with people, I pick up clues on how happy, stressed, and well-adjusted a person is. Drawing these conclusions within the context of other things I know about the person will draw even more inferences. A person I see as stressed out and know as a working class shmuck will draw sympathy from my mind. A person I see as sad and know to be well-off will draw disgust. A person I see as easy-going and think to be in a highly difficult position will seem like a god to me.

And with this emerges the most well-defined aspect of power -> appearances. Finally a framework that can be elaborated on in a productive studious way. From this a multitude of Laws come about aside from Law 30. Law 5: Protect ya rep; Law 3: Conceal your intentions; Law 12: Use selective honesty; Law 21: appear dumber than your mark. All recognize the reality that we can’t background check every person we meet and have to use expedited forms of perception to form a worldview. From this we have a beautiful world of acts, stories, narrative, rhetoric; it’s all just one big play!

But I did emphasize Law 30 for a reason. It’s because while other Laws seek to have the user be perceived as ignorant, virtuous, or innocent, Law 30 aims to exalt the user into Godlike status. This brings us back into the gap of human potential. Because of this inconclusive aspect in our psyche, many of us won’t be too against the possibility that some among us are exceptionally divine. It makes life fun and brings excitement into our existence without actually taking on the stress that undertaking divinity in our own individual lives would entail. So even though it may be unlikely that an individual is divine, under the right conditions, many of us would want to believe that some of us are paragons.

This certainly brings excitement into my own personal life. To say that I don’t place existential burdens on celebrities, idols, and myths by holding them to unreasonably high standards would be dishonest. The trick (i guess) to not making this totally messed up is by a) being aware of how I am viewing people to continually find ways to reduce harm in the world; and b) using the use of idols as role models to continually push me to achieve greater things. Don’t sound that bad now eh? Oh well. Either way, this perception of divinity allows me to enjoy an exciting and productive thought process. I love my favorite bands, authors, and public figures based on how divine they seem to me. Outward appearances matter for me in this. I look out for: absolute disinterest (or even disgust) for others, elusive social media, lack of engagement, but of course with the occasional burst of exceptional performance or amazing revelation that asserts why I think whoever is amazing in the first place.

This is is really the idolized character I place in my mind. I hate it when someone on a screen I don’t know tries to reach out and establish a personal connection with me, and continually tries to establish relatableness with me. For me I really don’t want validation of who I am from others. I think I get that enough from my own existence. What I truly seek out are people to attach aspirations and goals to. I think many people do that too. And in that lies the empty space for people to obtain power from. Whether you think that’s unfortunate, or exploitable, or whatever, I find that it is a definite reality, and kind of makes life interesting.

Of course there are other people, or rather times when people, are on the other side of the coin. Sometimes we do look to others to feel validated in our current state. Sometimes we’d probably want someone to say things like ‘you can do it too!’, but from my experience I think those times are few and far, and are used in toxic ways that ultimately stagnate any sort of growth in an individual. I’m not sure if our tendency for this sort of comfort is on the rise, or just a simple pattern that occurs in all generations as they age. Whatever the actual answer, this is yet another vacancy for others to claim influence and power over.

Appearing divine by observing the 30th Law of Power does have its obstacles in this day and age. There is an increasing need and ability for transparency and accountability from anybody who does anything. How is one to give the appearance of ease when people now demand to see everything, from behind the scenes, to documents, to emails of all the workings of the system we live in. Obviously this is a great thing, I’m just saying that it is now harder to take on an exalted appearance now.

Which brings me to the actual point I was trying to make in this whole blog post. I didn’t think it would take this long to lay the groundwork for the only original contribution in this blog post but thank you for reading this far in. As the future brings in less ways to isolate yourself and give off appearances through subtle signals, there is still one signal that brings divine hope. It’s simple: Happiness. This world is an increasingly aware place that places a lot more emphasis on what to be sad about than anything. The world wants people to be aware that everything they do holds a negative consequence to someone else, and that the world is a large injustice that should just be done away with. With this in mind, how else can one go about life without being solemn, dull, and disillusioned?

This disillusion simply brings in the vacancy to obtain power through a new ‘illusion’ (I use illusion loosely because I don’t mean it like something different from reality. Rather I’m using illusion as anything that differs from what the public would like to enforce as ‘reality’). Before, the amazement from watching a virtuoso performance was partially by seeing how easy heshe made it seem. In other instances, where I see myself, I can see it beneficial to give the appearance that I can carry on my duties with happiness, hope, and optimism. Taking on Engineering and Law School, very socially demanding occupations, I have the feeling that society sees STEM and continuous learning to be undertakings of present sacrifice for future gain. A rational, and BORING perception of someone. How exciting would it be rather, to see someone undertaking such an act for deeper reasons. To see someone pursue something for virtuistic, philosophical, dare I say it divine ambitions.

I think this is why I derive much enjoyment from the book. Not for its simplistic listing of steps to crush enemies and feel all high and mighty. In its words, it kind of sets a framework of appearances that allows for creativity, innovation, and fun to be had when thinking about public perception, the human experience, and how power all plays a part in it.

That’s pretty neat.

[musiccosmosru]

Mitski makes music that codifies our desires to be seen and our distresses about being alive. After years of growing a nearly religious fanbase with albums like Retired from Sad, New Career in Business and the indefatigable Bury Me at Makeout Creek, she become an indie rock household name with her 2016 album Puberty 2. Her latest, Be the Cowboy, is self-described as her saddest ever, but it is also very much about maintaining command of one’s own world. April Clare Welsh caught up with the Dead Oceans singer-songwriter to discuss touring, nihilism and Iggy Pop and to get under the skin of Be the Cowboy’s woman in control.

On Mitski’s fifth album, Be the Cowboy, the itinerant singer-songwriter explores the solitude of touring through the eyes of a woman seemingly in control – a persona she explains was inspired by Isabelle Huppert’s award-winning performance in The Piano Teacher.

Just as repressed piano teacher Erika Kohut ultimately falls prey to her psychosexual desires, Mitski’s character must try to stem the overwhelming tide of emotion rushing through her body. “This character is definitely something that is in me,” she says. “I do find that I have to be very controlled as a woman in trying to navigate the world.”

As with Mitski’s previous LP Puberty 2 – one of FACT’s favorite albums of 2016 – themes of love, identity, heartbreak and vulnerability abound on the new album. But where Puberty 2 cranked up the distortion on her grunge-rock guitar, Be the Cowboy comes wrapped in a glossier sheen from long-time producer Patrick Hyland – and it’s often at odds with the album’s underlying sense of isolation. Take the glitzy disco-stomper ‘Nobody’, for example. “It’s got these desolate lyrics, but ultimately it’s a dance song,” she says.

Be the Cowboy is a deft experiment in narrative that amplifies Mitski’s voice as a vital indie rock innovator capable of reeling you into her made-up worlds as much as she is willing to draw from her own raw experiences. We’re all still working out who we are and where we want to be – and we’ll happily join Mitski on her journey of self-discovery.

You recently supported Lorde on her Melodrama world tour. How did your intimate live act translate to a pop-friendly arena audience?

Mitski: Nobody really knew who I was so it was a great chance to present myself. I just played a lot of classics and didn’t try and experiment too much. It was also like going to a really cool school every day. Obviously, arena shows are a very different live atmosphere from anything I’ve ever experienced before. There are so many more people working behind the scenes and I learned about so many different job descriptions that I didn’t even know existed.

This album touches on the realities and isolation of touring. Does having a band help you to keep you in check emotionally, or do you ultimately prefer working alone?

Mitski: I think it’s good for me to work with people. My tendency is to just assume that I should work alone – I always write alone and the recording process is pretty similar in that I don’t let many people into the studio. But with live music there’s something about the dynamic of humans just playing together… it’s always just nice to see the band playing. Whenever I see a singer with dancers and backing tracks, or maybe the band is unseen, that’s fine and I always enjoy the show but as a musician, I just like to see the band.

When did you first envision the album’s protagonist and is there any particular reason you decided to bring her to life now?

Mitski: I’m not very good at being outgoing on stage, so I got to thinking about other ways in which I can be effective and create a mood for people. I went the other way and decided to try being completely inward and controlled, and I then began to ask myself “why am I even doing this,” investigating it with this character. But it all initially came from just playing live and from figuring out how to create a space for an hour where people can forget about the outside world and just experience the show.

“I have to be even more controlled than my male counterparts because if I show even the smallest amount of emotion, it’s immediately interpreted as ‘she’s hysterical’”

Was she inspired by anyone in particular?

Mitski: She was inspired very much by the heroine in The Piano Teacher. Something about that character made something click for me. The album sounds nothing like the movie, it was just the first spark. I watched that movie and just thought there is something about that character, where she is what you would call frigid, doesn’t express much… repressed, I guess you would say. But she actually has these crazy whirling desires inside her that when the young man actually gets to know her he realizes it’s way above his pay grade and he can’t fucking handle it. Something about the ending where she stabs herself – it’s like she can’t do anything about the desire she is feeling so she hurts herself – it’s something about that instinct, that I felt. Thinking through that and analyzing that and working through it all inspired the character.

How much of your own personality pervades the character?

Mitski: This character is definitely something that is in me… it’s just not who I am while I’m walking down the street every day. You contain multitudes. You are many people in one body. And so there’s an aspect of this character in me and I think I just wanted to exaggerate it. I think Björk once said in an interview that each of her albums is kind of like an exaggeration of an aspect of herself and I relate to that – I’m just not this one person all of the time, but I recognize that in myself. I find that I have to be very controlled as a woman in trying to navigate the world. In a way, I’m running my own business, I’m the person in charge having to tell people what to do, having to make all the decisions. And I find that it’s very hard, especially in a business setting… because I’m an artist, I react emotionally, but that’s not effective when you’re trying to get something done. And so perhaps I have to be even more controlled than my male counterparts because if I show even the smallest amount of emotion, it’s immediately interpreted as ‘she’s hysterical’.

Do you feel like you have to keep these two sides of you very separate – Mitski the business woman in control and Mitski the creative artist?

Mitski: I think they kind of feed into each other. I do really actually enjoy being in control in terms of making my art because I feel like if I’m creating a world, I want to dictate every aspect of it. I want to really create the song, I don’t want to just do a little part of it and then leave it to somebody else. I thought about getting a creative director for this album but then I decided that was like giving away my favourite part about making an album to somebody else, so I decided I wasn’t going to get a creative director, I’m just going to figure it out myself. If I’m creating a universe within a song or an album, I really want to dig into it and give it my all.

I think Be the Cowboy is my saddest album

How does it feel to hand over the reins to a video director when making your visuals?

Mitski: I give a lot of control away for the videos because I find that as an artist I thrive when I’m just given the reins and told “here are the resources, do your best.” So I try and give that to the directors as well, where I just kind of give them the song, give them what I meant by the song and then tell them “you do what you need to do.” People tend to work better when they’re given independence and given the reins. You just have to find a good artist and tell them to do what they want.

Both Puberty 2 and Be the Cowboy deal with self-identity. What state of mind were you in when you recorded Be the Cowboy?

Mitski: For this new album, I wrote and recorded it between tours, whereas Puberty 2 was very much like “let’s book a studio for two weeks,” which didn’t leave much room for my anxiety. I think it’s actually good to give yourself extreme limitations when you’re making something so that you don’t let your brain over-analyze or criticize it, because you just have to get it done. But with Be the Cowboy, I was just on tour, I was tired and I had a lot of time to ruminate over the recording after I’d done it. But I liked the idea of being tired and then making music that’s kind of rallying myself. With ‘Nobody’, for example, it’s got these desolate lyrics, but it’s ultimately a dance song. I kind of draw comparisons with Andy Warhol’s pop art, where it’s bright and colorful and pop, but he often said he had no real meaning in mind, he’s very nihilistic about it.

Would you say there is a nihilist element to your music?

Mitski: Obviously there is my personal meaning behind each song – I’m not saying my music doesn’t have meaning – but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think this is my saddest album. It comes from the saddest place, but in the same way that I have the idea of this protagonist who is this woman in control, I kind of want to put upon this jolliness or upbeatness to it, because I think that it makes it somehow sadder.

Iggy Pop’s music is often spoken about in the same breath as existential nihilism. How did it feel to get his seal of approval?

Mitski: Iggy Pop is one of my heroes. I watch his live performances online and just listen to his music whenever I need reminding what I want out of music and what I want out of a live show. And he always reminds me of what is important. I finally got to see him at a music festival recently. I don’t know how old he is but he’s still fucking amazing. He’s just one of those people. So hearing him say that about me in his gravelly voice… I still haven’t processed it.

You end the album with a sad, slow song about an old couple. Do you feel older than your years?

Mitski: The road really just wears you down… this is why I think that so many rock bands have more and more songs about ‘the road,’ as their career progresses. You see more and more rock bands make more and more unrelatable albums, but I think that’s just because you’re in such an isolated society and you don’t have experiences that the rest of the world can relate to anymore, because it’s just such a specific way of living. So I’m really conscious of that and I try to avoid that. I always want to make sure my music is relatable to not just touring musicians. So I think that the challenge for this album was using metaphors that people would understand for experiences of being on the road, and I hope that it all makes sense.

April Clare Welsh is a freelance writer based in Lisbon. Find her on Twitter.

Elina Abidin is FACT’s social media assistant.

Read next: Feminist punk icon Viv Albertine on liberation, women’s anger and the value of writing

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[arplis]

Arplis - News: How Medal Of Honor: Above And Beyond Goes 'Above And Beyond’ For Veteran

s Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond is a VR experience rooted in real-life World War II history. Immersive and highly interactive, the game on its own is an enjoyable experience, but what many might not know is how positive of an impact it has for veterans and shining a truthful light on American history.  For those that may not know, the VR Medal of Honor experience from Respawn Entertainment allows players to step into the role of an agent of the Office of Strategic Services during WWII in a ravished European setting. It offers an enjoyable multiplayer experience alongside a stunningly fleshed-out single-player campaign that offers an honest representation of those moments in war not often explored; the quiet before a mission, the realization that "we're at war" that many soldiers feel in and out of moments of reality — even the easy camaraderie that comes with knowing the person beside you will defend you with their life, even when sometimes the price is just that.  I recently sat down with game director Peter Hirschmann to learn more about the game after playing through the campaign and some of the PvP. As a veteran myself, hearing how the team went 'above and beyond' for veterans and their stories, while also providing meaningful experiences meant to educate without romanticization meant more than many will ever know.  For players, they aren't just getting a game, they're also getting a documentary experience with in-depth short films diving into the stories of real World War II vets, taking them back to the places that have impacted them the most, and listening to their stories with open hearts and open ears. With the Gallery, players can unlock over 90 minutes of real-world experiences of eight surviving WWII veterans. Unlock a mission, unlock an actual piece of history, making Above and Beyond emotionally raw and more than just a game.  "The youngest combat vet from World War II is in their nineties," the director tells us, driving home the idea that first-hand accounts of what actually happened are becoming more and more distant. "The youngest is in their nineties. That means they were teenagers. Gil, who is one of our future guys, was 19. He was a 19-year-old kid on a tank. "Gil tells an amazing story about going through the Harz Mountains on a Chaffee tank. He's in the back and this little boy jumps out and stops the convoy and asks for help. They have to tell him, 'No, we can't take you with us. We're going to a battle. We're going to the next town. You need to stay here. Someone will be along soon'. They drive away and Gil talks about the haunted forlorn look in this little boy's face, just standing on the side of the road as they all rumbled down."  It was upon hearing Gil's story that the team realized that the amazing potential for education and closure if they could bring Gil back to that location. Being 93, there were concerns, but the organization Honor Flight helped make this a reality with the consent of the veterans themselves and with the upmost care. Ensuring that all involved were comfortable, cared for, and safe, the team embarked on one of many journeys explored throughout this entire process tied to Above and Beyond.  For Gil, it was going back to a camp he liberated at 19, a place that he never returned to until this documentary went into production. The team took other surviving veterans to familiar places as well, each given the opportunity to tell their story in their own way, in their own time. Sometimes even giving them a chance to tell their tales to close family members for the first time ever. The documentary houses so many incredibly powerful stories. Stories that show the friendship that endures war (and forms because of it), the losses that come with it, and the side not often seen in mainstream media: the human side. The quieter danger, the moments of reflection, and the parts of history that are a very close reality to many still with us.  One story centers around David, taking him back to a moment in time where he lost his best friend Smitty. Upon returning to that spot, he met with Smitty's family to honor a promise made when the pair entered into he war together, a promise to visit the other's family should one of them fall. David met with his family, telling them their story in a way that was incredible beyond words.  Click here to watch embedded media "When they get there, the mother, who lives there, said to him: "David, this is a hat I made for you." Throughout the rest of our time, he never takes it off. It was this floppy straw hat that she wove herself, and he ever takes it off again the entire time. It's so wonderful. After, they invite him to their home and it's hard for me to talk about it because you can get a little emotional," Hirschmann says tearfully. David, who is "the funniest guy I've ever met," continued to share his story and that of his friendship with Smitty where eventually they find his friend's grave. Out of respect, the team stood back and gave him a moment of privacy as David spoke with Smitty for the first time in decades, laying a picture of Smitty's parents on the grave, and saying his farewells.  The photo, in particular, was important because Smitty's family never visited the grave. "The mom was too distraught. They never came because back then families had a choice to either let their loved ones be buried and turned in Europe; either one of the big cemeteries in the Netherlands or in Normandy, or to be brought back and repatriated. Smitty's mom was so devastated that when it came time to make that decision, Smitty's dad was like, 'No, just let him stay resting in the Netherlands.' The mom was brokenhearted the rest of her life. So for David to go to that grave site and lay a photo of the parents was just, I mean, God, it's hard to recount." The team then took at 360 shot of the gravestone, allowing viewers a chance to witness, and be a part of, a moment of closure with David, a way to pay respect in a powerful way. That being said, the team's most important goal was to capture the emotional truth of these stories without exploiting them, so we made sure that nothing in the game was taken directly from these tales.  Click image thumbnails to view larger version                                                                                                                As a veteran that took part in operations overseas with Operation Enduring Freedom and New Dawn, there is a comraderie that is hard to explain to someone who has never served. These are people that could die, these are people that could watch you die, and everyone's survival is dependenant upon trust. That trust is paramount when building these relationships, and that trust is something that Respawn wanted to convey in the game as well. It's more than just dramatic monologues of existential crisis, it's the small moments when joking about the crap food in the chow hall, or "where did my socks go"? It's the small moments that mean just as much, and it is those small moments that are reflected not only in the game, but in between the lines of the stories being reflected in this documentary series.  Another aspect that Respawn wanted to make sure they paid special attention to is how they portrayed the war. Too many times in war games, the "bad side" is either dramaticized for flair, or romanticized for ... some other reason. There are no occult substories, no quests of endearment. This is the tale of a real war with a real enemy and while that enemy housed real human beings, the ideal that acted as a banner was dangerous, harmful, and evil.  "If you're embellishing the Nazis, if you're embellishing the third Reich, you're reading the wrong history books," says the director emphatically. "So just to make sure we're staying true to that, that's important. For players, and for us, embrace that it's a game. Then to lean into which we haven't done in one of these WWII games, lean into some bad and sad things do happen to the characters, it's all part of a bigger picture." Without falling into any inaccurate tropes, there is the underlying theme of there will be consequences. "As much as that comraderie and that love and being united in a common purpose and fighting against legitimate evil, which is what the Third Reich was, that doesn't steeple away from the fact that there is going to be a price. There are going to be consequences no matter how noble your intentions are. So again, we kept the firewall there between what the vets were telling us and what we were learning and even Colette for godsakes, who was a teenage girl, member of the resistance. There's nothing in Colette's story that transfers over except the fear of the Gestapo and how collaborators were the worst. Just getting those elements into the story without being one-to-one to the story details, but touching on these sort of through-lines. That was the goal. "We made them in parallel," he adds when talking about how the tales of these veterans inspired the game without being an exact replica. "The stories were fuel for us to make the best game possible, because if we just put it out the gallery on Steam and on Oculus store, we might get some nice marks. There might be one or two articles about, 'Oh yeah, you can watch these documentaries.' People would probably look at it as some sort of educational thing. So the game is the hook to get you in. I mean, the whole point is to have fun, but the game is there to get you in the door and to maybe trigger some empathy that, 'Oh, I do want to go hear the real thing.'" That was also a big reason behind the decision to go VR. In VR, everything is a little more real. You are picking up the gun, you are holding your hands up in surrender. You are there. This added yet another layer of complexity to not only the campaign of the videogame itself, but also to the empathetic layers of the documentary itself. Humanizing people that survived a horrific time, a time that was a reality and a cornerstone in our history. "It's all about creating empathy. If you come out the other end of it, knowing more about WWII, which is always one of our secret goals, knowing more about what happened, because it still echoes in our life today, but then really having hopefully some actual empathy for the sacrifices that these guys made. Every player today is different, but if a typical player is a 19 to 24 year old, I don't mean to stereotype, but they're hearing from the folks that were doing these things for real when they were their age. Seeing what others did at their age, knowing some of the horrors they faced, the friendships they made, and the harsh pillars of history, is hopefully a powerful connection. At the end of the day, this was created out of the hope that there will be more empathy." It was a special moment where I could share some of my own stories with the director and tell him from a place that understands how much the level of care that went into this project that means. As a veteran who has lost many friends, as a veteran that has been in positions where I was so sure I was going to die, it's easy to get lost in the more gimmicky representations of war. Does it bother me? No, not really. I'll play every Battlefield game, I'll play every Call of Duty; they're entertainment, that's what they are. But that doesn't mean that this very meaningful and purposeful representation doesn't mean an incredible amount. Everything about Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond felt real. It felt like it was coming from a place of compassion, and coming from a place of honesty. It never felt cheap, it never felt gimmicky, it didn't feel manufactured in the slightest.  When speaking with the game's director, it was easy to see that the passion for empathy and knowledge was there. This wasn't a rush to get buys or pre-orders, this wasn't a play on emotions for a more consumer-driven objective; this was love and respect and real human experience. Respawn did not use these veterans' experiences to sell a game, they used a game to tell their experiences. That nuance makes the world of difference and helps to ensure that history isn't lost, but also that it's not being retold with rose-colored glasses.  Medal of Honor: Above and Beyond is available now for HTV Vive, Valve Index, and the Oculus Rift. You can also play it with the Oculus Quest as long as a Link cable is present. You can also learn more about Honor Flight, the veteran-focused group that helped make this documentary a reality, right here. 

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