#that would have been awkward to explain
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Me: *tells a roomful of people about my adventures in marketing my books, which includes an enthusiastic description of my time on Tumblr*
Me: *wonders an hour later what I've reblogged recently, in case they look me up*
My Tumblr: "All good, boss. Aliens, words, fae bargains and humans being weird about food."
Me: "Oh good."
#that's a reasonable match for what I described it as#not one of many possible tangents#that would have been awkward to explain#'no really; this is writing reference. that one too. no that's just a joke. okay the pineapple thing's going to take a lot of explaining.#'...so I'm going to say that I'll come back to that and never do'#life on Tumblr#writer life#I was on the presenting panel for the writers' club meeting today#it was very cool#I got to be all excited about everything and encourage other writers to do the same#nothing sells a book as well as 'omg this part is so cool'#normally you'd expect that to come from readers who liked it#but you can love your own work too#you should! it's great!#be your own greatest fan#there are no downsides
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Y’know that moment when you get a comment on a fanfiction you’re writing and someone says something like “we’ve done it!! We’ve gotten through the angst, now we get the soft content!!”
And then you just start cackling because you know what the next chapter holds, and you’re just waiting to see the absolute creeping horror as they realize just how far we have left to go.
#seriously I was cackling like a supervillain on my drive home from work#it’s a good thing I didn’t get pulled over lol#that would have been awkward to explain#fanfiction#fanfic#writing#writing fanfic#relatable#xmen fanfic#yes in case anyone is wondering this is Weapon by Name#new chapter coming tomorrow and I am very excited to dash everyone’s hopes and dreams#they think it’s going to be soft that’s ADORABLE#x men#nightcrawler#kurt wagner
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Hi i've read some posts of you about Tsats and it seems like you didn't like the book.
Honestly i'm with you in this 'cause i find it problematic on so many levels (characterizations, inconsistencies, ableism) but apparently there's gonna be a sequel???? What do you think about it?
i think i can pretty concisely summarize my thoughts about the sequel with:
Longer version: It just feels wholly unnecessary. There's no continuation to use for a sequel, really. The first TSATS was unnecessary to begin with but it was so focused on leaving no stone unturned that it functionally left no loose ends to tie up. There's just nowhere to go with it unless they do even MORE retconning and warping characters OOC to string some kind of plot out of, but even that wouldn't reasonably give them enough to make a full novel's worth of plot out of anyways, which means if this sequel is novel-length like the last then it will drag on SO. MUCH. TSATS1 already had horrible pacing problems. There's no way this won't be worse.
#braghis#ask#tsats crit#like ive said before: an anthology of individual short stories focusing on nico and will throughout their relationship or adventures#would have been leagues better. its clearly what they wanted to do in the first place since half the pacing problems in TSATS are just#shoehorning in awkward flashbacks every chapter for the first two thirds of the book because they needed an excuse to put all that in#i have no problem with framed narratives but GOD we really did not need to go in-depth about absolutely EVERYTHING#you're SUPPOSED to leave details untouched. if its not narratively important dont sidetrack everything to explain every detail#and especially dont create an entire side thing to excuse interrupting the story every chapter to go on a flashback tangent about nothing#and drag both each individual flashback AND the interrupting sidequest on SO GODDAMN LONG#the format itself is not the problem it's the fact that they did a shit job at it
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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Chad chad on YouTube has videos with sound effects like in the casement
aha, THANK you for being the only lead so far, anon!
ok i checked out some of chad chads vids, and i get what you mean, the sound effects used in the case definitely wouldn't stand out in a chad chad vid
but, well, two things, really. Firstly is that she's on youtube while 'vidclick' is more likely a parody of tiktok, based on the way her account is formatted (at first i actually interpreted the 1.4M likes as being individual likes for her account, instead of for all her video's put together, because i dont use tiktok normally). and on tiktok, the styles ive seen so far were to either use a Sound with sound effects included, or a more 'low-effort' style of editing consisting of talking to the camera with only some jumpcuts. That this case's vid uses sound effects in a tiktok-style talking-to-camera vid isnt really a big deal, if the rest of the case had done a better job of sounding like a real video, but it adds to that disconnect.
the second and bigger thing is that. chad chad uses those sound effects in a different way. she uses basically a new sound every second while she keeps talking, does dramatic voices and short sketches, cuts and edits them together in a high paced snappy style. In that style, those sound effects work to emphasise the content. Madam E's way of using sound effects is to drop a pauze - sound effect - continue. She also lets them play out completely, instead of cutting as soon as the joke lands, and she uses only one or two each vid. It's jarring, awkward and calls too much attention to the effect, and doesn't match the low energy and slow pace of her vids (the usual fast pace of this style is another thing that the overuse of slang alone fails to appreciate - she rushes through her lines but there are no audible jumpcuts that i noticed, and even when there should be a beat of silence for audience reactions, she fills up the silence)
it's as with everything else in this case imo; It's not good enough to pass for the real deal, but it's not so clearly bad in a way that it looks intended, making the whole thing come off as vague and directionless with only the parody of 'youth speak' to hold it up
#should've hired chad chad or her editor to edit the casement#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#tmagp s1#i know it can all be watsonianly explained as madam e just being not so good at making videos#as we've discussed also in the other post#but the thing is that doylistically i like listening to things that are well made. i dont like listening to awkward cringy things#the quality of the story would imo not have suffered if madams vids were actually good#and we would've been able to listen to some good content AND experience the spooky.#i guess the case is trying a new kind of horror where the cringe is the point but then we're circling back#to no one actually talking like this so the cringe isn't at madam or the case but at the writing#tmagp16#joos yaps#ask#anon#anonymous
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The concept of clothes in the md universe is so bizarre to me. Like I can’t imagine the concept of “nudity” being a thing (much less inappropriate; they all have pretty much the same model) to drones unless it was added to their programming. I just don’t see them caring; it’s not part of the job description they were given, why should they care? I imagine pre-core collapse a worker’s jacket gets caught in some gears, so they start to strip to be able to get it out easier, only for a very flustered and panicked technician to go “NO. No no no no no. You’re clothes need to stay ON.”
#that technician must have had some day#murder drones#I think the main reason the workers had clothes before the core collapse#was bcuz they are very human like design wise#so having them essentially strip or ‘be naked’ would have been extremely awkward#for jc jensons human employees#they had to give the same code to the disassembly drones too#just in case#could also explain why most don’t wear pants
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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the mortifying ordeal of having to text people back or whatever people say
#i am..... once again stressing too much#i have people who i have not texted back in literal WEEKS (and theyre still activly messaging me anyways)#its. scary#i always tell myself “oh yeah ill reply later” and then its been 2 days and now its awkward and id have to explain myself#and then its been 3 weeks#uh#sorry to everyone about that#it will happen again. its happening rn#....i know nobody im close with would judge me for that but. ough. social interaction. someone get me out of here. can we bring letters back
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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happy halloween everyone!! i made cookies and wanted to share bc i thought they were kinda cute
also i was going for a goth ghost type costume this year but i think i just landed on murder victim. (ft my cat charlie! he really wants my bouquet)
#the children were unfortunately not afraid of me /j#i kinda wanted to go as nihil#but i think it would have been too awkward to explain lmao#just rambling#me
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posts with library workers discussing library business where they feel the need to make it very clear whether or not they have an MLS are so annoying. like that makes them the ultimate authority on basic ass library shit that even most regular patrons understand
#its just a bullshit class barrier and its annoying as hell seeing non library world people just accept that#it was always wild when i was a page and the MLS havers would assume i was too stupid to grasp very basic library concepts#but since ive been working and volunteering at the library I currently work at for 12 years i always know what theyre talking about#so it just ends up being this awkward interaction where theyre trying to explain something to me like im 5#and i just cut them off and finish explaining it in more precise terms because im actually not 5#im just not wealthy enough to go to school for 6 years in order to maybe land a 31k/yr job if im very lucky <3#no one will ever be able to convince me that this makes sense as a masters program as opposed to a 2 year certificate program#one of my coworkers got her bachelors in fucking antiquities bc she wanted to pick the easiest possible degree#because your ba has literally nothing whatsoever to do with the mls. there are library ba programs but not many#most people end up getting a random degree that they have 0 intention of ever even thinking about again#you cant tell me thats not idiotic and specifically intended to keep out people who cant afford this
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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fridayyyy....
#extremely specific thing is very funny to me but too complicated to explain and no one else would get it but. LMAOOO#cant belieeeve its already friday.. i go back to work in 4 days 😔#AND 2 of those im gonna have to travel + do chores so really i only have one day of holiday this entire break. sighs#i have a mile long list of things to do once im home and half of them are gonna be so awkward to fit around work#but whatever. everything will work out somehow. man ill be glad to be back in my own bed tho#tiiiired.. ive been sleeping kinda badly at my dads bc theres a lamppost right outside my window so it doesnt get dark enough#but just one more night ill survive#it has been nice to see him + my mum at least. i just wish work would give me a second holiday just for me... ah well#.diaries#please dont let the trains be terrible tmr 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 i just wanna get hoooommmeeee
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mfw the kids i killed back in the 80s that are now trapped in animatronics remember that i'm the one that killed them and set off the springlocks in my suit -> ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀི১
#this was going to be a tweet but um. well it would've been awkward if this got caught by the system#me when i have to explain that i didn't do anything and it's a joke about a fictional guy#anyways i love looking at bunny kaomoji going 'william afton would love this <3'#fnaf posting
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#feeling really weird in my body tonight so im going back to bed#idk just.. have had gender and identity issues today. its just. a lot#like being ngc and not out of the closet cause i dont wanna talk about it is so exhausting and im just. yeah#not to mention the whole aroace thing#just been thinking a lot today. idk. i know im not faking any of it but bringing it out to ppl is just. so much sometimes#i have two irl friends who know. one thats thankfully very careful about it around other friends cause he knows im not out yet#but its still exhausting. especially when the conversation goes on those rails while undermining specifically my identities#without these ppl knowing about it. and i dont wanna talk about it cause technically its irrelevant but like..#idk. im just afraid of being left alone. being called awkward and weird and faking it and that its just a phase and... yeah idk#idk where this is going im just complaining now. i would just like to exist as myself without having to explain shit#cause these are terms and things i would have to explain. oh whats an agender? then why do you still look feminine and not enby(???)#how do you know youre ace if youve never dated? or aro?? as if these things dont work the other way around#im just already tired of it but i feel like eventually i should break it out. these ppl are my friends. we have a trans person in this grou#and ppl understand him and his perspective. i guess part of that is the thing im afraid about tbh. that they think im following a trend#or an example. that i havent been dealing with this for at least like five or six years before they came out as enby and later trans to us#but.. idk. its just hard. these identities are so hit and miss with ppl and them understanding and being hurtful later on#aaaand now im crying. this is so stupid im going to bed good night#night is an absolute mess on main#(tho be clear tho ive known im ace for over half of my lifetime now. the five to six years was about being agender/enby. fyi)
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I’m going to tentatively assume this is a shared phenomenon. When aspec ppl have to continually reminds themselves that other ppl actually do and experience things and don’t just. Not *
#asterisk bc we all know aspec experience is varied!#okay sorry I made this vague as hell let me elaborate#I feel like I genuinely forget that ppl actually have sex instead of just think abt it and make jokes#like. logically I know people actually have sex. but I think I forget that?#then an 18 yo I know will talk abt having sex and I’m like oh my god…but ur so young? wait sex? u actually do that????#I feel like this will come off as. sex negative and shaming and that’s NOT what I mean idk it’s so#hard to explain the exact sequence of thoughts and feelings surrounding this#also like. it’s been maybe just over a year since I started identifying as ace#and before that I really did think I was ‘typical’ in sex/romance and I just….didn’t prioritize it and that’s why I’d never dated or had sex#and the thing is. I literally do want to have sex. with caveats but still I DO and like yeah my sex drive is low as shit so#but also. maybe it’s just theoretically I would have sex? bc when I think abt ACTUALLY doing it I’m like oh god how awkward and oh god what#and that’s probably a lot of anxiety but#okay I’m shutting up now.
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