#that would be recognised as abuse

[overelegantstranger]

i just am so mad at how it's overwhelmingly parents who went to state school that are the "voices" of homeschool. I've always got the response "well who else" whenever i get pissed about it and it's like. 1) adults who were homeschooled children 2) if you can't make space for the honest opinions of the children around you then I don't think you should be homeschooling

the homeschooling community as I remember it from my own childhood and as I see it on instagram now is extremely infantilising of children, to the extent that many homeschooling parents do not seem to see their children as autonomous people, and tend to focus on the "all-ages" side of education (by this I mean things like aesthetic shots of kids beachcombing, or doing farm work, or cooking, or whathaveyou) rather than on age appropriate needs (I've seen many teenagers complain that they don't get taught how to do taxes in state school, and no homeschooling parents talking about teaching teenagers taxes).

It's not that I'm wholly against homeschool. It's that I'm hyperaware of a lot of its pitfalls, and see them in these posts, in the exclusion of children's, teenagers' and homeschooled adults' voices, in the enormous focus on primary school age children. In the complete lack of resources that focus on making sure you raise children with healthy self-image, with relationships with people their own age*, on making sure you parent and teach intentionally**.

What I'm seeing in these posts, in this atmosphere, is a lot of self-oriented parenting, and I feel like screaming. They're setting their kids up to have one, single, authority figure, and no recourse. In their self-orientation they don't see an issue with that, of course.

The thing that makes me feel most like I'm going to explode is that all the time I see people discussing making sure you, the parent(s) get alone time, or time with your peers. They'll make space for that for adults. But for children, they won't make space for that, and even the people who question it will say things like "socialisation". It's not about that, really, to me. You can do socialisation other ways. But it's supposed to be healthy for all children of all ages to be continuously, constantly, around all the same people all of the time?

I'm so intensely mad about it.

*I remember when I was homeschooled there were groups that you could go to where you could meet other kids, and I myself went to guides. But the issue I'm trying to pick up here is that relationships are important, not just being around your peers.

**I know there were no resources for this when I was being homeschooled because I saw all the ones that were around. My mum shared them with me, and I looked at them more than she did. Perhaps there are now, but I've seen a lot of homeschool instagrammers and none of them talk about it.

[sideblogdotjpeg]

have been thinking about professor sol even. professor bufo with no clearly discernable lesson plan. sol bufo ostensibly martial arts professor who spent two weeks running a yoga and meditation program and shows up to the next class with crochet hooks for everyone. professor bufo who is technically supposed to be assigning grades to students but hasnt given anyone less than an A because "i think they worked really hard and they did a great job :)" (referring to the ugliest and most malformed pot holder anyone has laid eyes upon in their life). professor bufo who is on his way to cluelessly kickstart the sexual awakening of about half the cohort of the academys new students. sol bufo adjunct professor who is gone half the year and his first class back is so immediately and easily baited into going into a long tangent about how cool his friends are. sol who is pretty sure hes easily the most useless professor on campus and almost cries when he sees his little desk overflowing with thank you notes at the end of the year. professor bufo absolutely fucking gloriously hot in the tightest little sweater vest because there were faculty complaints when he wore a crop top to class.

[mohntilyet]

DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?

i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)

the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3

[sammygender]

i hate this stupid ass fandom cause i’ll go ‘dean’s behavior towards sam is often abusive’ and people will get annoyed and talk abt how people are so sensitive and block me like oh my god i’m not saying it as a criticism i’m not even like insulting dean and i’m certainly not saying it in a way that means u shouldn’t like him i adore dean it’s just true………….

[whitestopper]

"Why did Rhiannon kill him?! AJ saw her as she is and loved her!!"

(Rob Brydon voice) No, you idiot! AJ saw her as she is once he realised she was the killer. He might've seen her if she had killed him the first time she tried to kill him! And he would've eventually seen her if he'd kept on believing that she was an innocent hero while someone else was the monster, because she'd become more resentful at not getting her due credit and eventually snap! AJ was always doomed to be killed by Rhiannon for not seeing her as she is!

[chonnyjashh]

There's a toxic person who genuinely emotionally tortured me for a couple weeks that I strongly, strongly dislike who draws super peak dialtown fanart as well as dsaf fanart, and has a parody account on twt, which is how he met me. I'm worried now that we dont talk he'll move onto somebody else and do the same. I genuinely live in fear of this happening. This person also has over 8k subs on Youtube because of fucking course things couldn't be easy lmao.

I would so totally out who this person is but considering he threatened to kill himself multiple times and outright had attempts a few times whilst in contact with me, I literally can't. It sucks but like. Yeah.

Just... Know that one day you'll come across a really, really good Randy x Gingi fanart, and you'll never even know it was made by somebody who ruined my emotional state to the point I honestly don't think I'll be able to recover 💀

.... Ugh. Damn it. He's popular and well liked and I'm a complete nobody so regardless of the fact I screenshotted literally everything, it... kinda just doesn't matter, does it. Idk. The only reason I'm hesitating until I know for sure people care is bc I don't wanna do this unless I know for certain it'll have SOME effect other than just making him emotionally destroy me again/possibly harm himself. I want to be heard and I don't think him having an audience is safe in the slightest considering he severely emotionally abused a pretty badly disabled person (me) to the point I had seizures and almost ended myself too, but... like... it's not worth me dying over it if nobody will even hear me.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Nah not my college doing a presentation on Domestic Abuse and, like I'm part of the team that authorities important topic and today was meant to be in AI security (Btw I'm not a teacher. Student Council!)

So when I saw the topic I was SHOCKED

Asked afterwards and they were like "Yeah due to recent online events we thought we should address some things"

IM SORRY WHAY-

MY COLLEGE HAS A TWITTER ACCOUNT???

(but seriously I'm so proud of my college ya'll🥹)

[raymurata]

So who's your most problematic one?

Okay. So I've done Alec, Kelp, and Oak, so really the only one left is Tarlyn, who I honestly think is indeed my most problematic guy (gender neutral)

First of all, he's dead. Best get this out of the way. He is doomed by the narrative and bitches would die mad about it.

Then, let's talk about "guy (gender neutral)". He's an nb amab character who never questioned his gender and therefore used he/him all his life, so basically we're all misgendering him somehow so this is problematic.

His whole story is dark and edgy and awfully problematic. This sad wet rag of a boy covered in glitter never had a break; he was tormented by his mother his whole life and he never stopped loving her.

And that's not even touching on his actions yet. This anxious pixie nightmare boy is a spoiled LIL BITCH who thinks (or at least acts) like he's larger than life and better than everyone because that's the only way he can cope with his loneliness, looking at everyone as if they are beneath him. He is an arrogant bastard who genuinely thinks his nobility means he is entitled to his luxury, and that his intelligence makes him superior, and that his command of magic makes him deserving of accolades and applause and praise. But that's just to cover up his abysmal lack of self esteem, his vulnerability and his need for connection.

He is never nice to other people unless they're of higher status than him, or important in some way, otherwise he is either catty and rude or just uninterested and aloof. He unknowingly yearns for someone to love him (granted, abuse has made him incapable of identifying, let alone giving love), but whenever someone is nice in any way, he can't believe it is real and reads it as interest, as them wanting something in return. He reduces everyone into shrewd social-climbers in his eyes (thus insulting them) bc that's what his family is.

He insults his servants, he wears blood jewelry (and a bunch of it), he is vain and petty and snobbish and finicky, he uses magic to spy on people, he never prepared a single meal in his entire 150 years of life, he was over 100 years old when he started questioning whether it was really true that short-lived races are inferior to elves. He is a poor little meow meow born and raised and abused by multimillionaire right wing conservatives. My boy Tarlyn would vocally defend Trump in a modern au, what more do you need me to say? He is Problematic.

He spends a lot of time overthinking and questioning his family in his mind, but he never actually does anything to change shit.

Negative intervention wizard all the way. He doesn't start bullying anyone, but his friends do and they count on his magic to execute it, and he delivers. He was witness to {redacted}, designed a destructive magical item to be used by foot soldiers in an attack against the neighbouring nation, witnessed workers being gravely injured in his family's mines, and possibly even more! What other shit will we discover Tarlyn did?? The horrors are not over yet weeee!

And then, to escape all this shit, this extremely romantic asexual bitch (who needs to like someone to enjoy sex with them) seeks out sex with randos!! Because he is so lonely and he copies his jackass friends and his jackass brother and he is a people pleaser and he doesn't know how to set boundaries.... But he is so intelligent he convinces himself love is not real (he's never fucking seen it! Only in fiction! So it must!!! Be!!! Fake!!!!) and that he does want sex, when in reality he wants kisses and cuddles.... And he keeps getting in (or remaining in) these situations where he just proves it to himself that people only want to use him/his body/his magic/his position (whether that's true or not, he always manages to see it that way), thus confirming his cynical expectations and keeping himself miserable.

And that's not mentioning {redacted}.

Tarlyn wins my Problematic OC of the Decade Award!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[buttercatrho]

nothings going on just felt like being cringe today

[boatemboys]

in another universe we were kids together

[randomgodfatherthoughts]

"When his father died, Tom Hagen’s eleven-year-old mind had snapped in a curious way. He had roamed the streets like an animal waiting for death until the fateful day Sonny found him sleeping in the back of a hallway and brought him to his home."

From The Godfather Novel by Mario Puzo.

[fellhellion]

This part of the editorial from 2099 (pic sourced from this post) is so interesting to me because i don’t even think the idea of Miguel having these kinds of flaws is uninteresting or impossible, but I just personally would never have come to this conclusion just based on the text.

Like, when I personally look at how Miguel and Dana interact, I don’t see any indication that he emotionally condescends to having a relationship with her, when you’d think this strain of elitism should shine through in some part of their relationship at least initially in his arc.

I don’t look at Xina and Miguel’s interactions and interpret any sense him feeling threatened by her intelligence (even if we're just talking purely pre-spidermanning), when you’d think an element of that would be present, even in a flashback. He was a callous dickhead about the cheating explanation, but that alone without some corresponding behaviour to how he speaks to/treats Dana, even just as a flashback, just doesn’t offer the bridging piece to displaying what the authorial intent apparently was, at least for me.

Also, and by god we always come back to Dana’s writing being so damn lazy, but if Miguel - even if only at first - sought Dana out due to the emotional convenience she provided, what has prompted enough change that he is willing to bear and forgive actions like her seeking out the company of the man who drugged him when she wants to needle Miguel.

ALSO. PETER DAVID I AM SPEAKING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EAR RN. ITS VERY SILLY TO ME TO POINT OUT THE MISOGYNISTIC STREAK INTENDED IN MIGUEL’S ACTIONS HERE BUT THEN LITERALLY JUST NOT BOTHER TO MAKE THE WOMAN THIS IS ABOUT MAKE LIKE. SENSE WHEN YOU WROTE HER. OFFER NO EXPLORATION INTO WHAT HER ACTIONS SPEAK TO IN HER PERSON AND DELVE INTO WHAT CONTRADICTORY ACTS MIGHT TELL US ABOUT HER.

[trickstercaptain]

Also, can I ask if you can elaborate on what bad habits (canon or not ) Jack might slip back into while in the presence of his father?

         yesss okay so it’s actually less bad habits that Jack slips back into, and just old patterns of behaviour? many of which are unhealthy but are also just coping mechanisms that Jack adopted over years of his early life to deal with the miserable situation he grew up in. once he’s left Shipwreck behind ( or has moved out in modern verse ) and is no longer around Teague, Jack realises that he can be less reliant on those behaviours because he now has his own freedom and independence ( two things that become extremely important to him as a result ). there are psychological scars, of course, but it’s only once Jack is away from Teague that he is truly able to forge his own identity  —  and this is why I personally think that, even though Jack’s time with the EITC ends in a lot of pain and tragedy for him, it was actually the best thing to happen at that point in his life as it enabled him to figure out who he was without Teague looming over his shoulder.

          the major bad habits, to cover those first, are alcohol and risky behaviour. Jack falls into both of those habits more while in the presence of his father later in life, and these are just coping strategies based on how Teague always makes Jack feel ( and we know Jack doesn’t like feeling anything ). Jack could have spent years at this point as a pirate captain, confident and assured and respected for the most part by his crew and others around him, and could well have experienced what healthy love actually is, but simply Teague’s presence manages to strip away all of that confidence all at once. it effectively unlocks a switch in Jack’s brain that threatens to revert him back to his 19 year old self  —  the one who couldn’t do anything right for trying, who was repeatedly talked down to and made to feel worthless. one way that Jack would try to counter this is by drinking more in an attempt to numb those sharper parts of his brain, and the result of feeling a little more emotionally volatile would push Jack into more dangerous and risky behaviour.

       Jack will also just avoid Teague whenever they are in close proximity. this is the case for a number of my verses where Jack does visit Shipwreck Cove or bases himself there on account of Elizabeth or Henry or his own kids living there; the way in which he copes with the fact that Teague is also there is just by trying to avoid him wherever he can. he won’t make an effort to speak to him or spend any time with him unless he absolutely has to, and even then it’s under a lot of duress. Jack doesn’t want to even attempt to make amends or repair things: so far as he is concerned, things are unsalvageable and he believes he would endure more pain for trying to fix things than just letting them be broken.

        as a result, Jack would not want anyone else getting involved in their relationship, even people that he cared deeply for. part of this is just an avoidance strategy so that he can continue to not address the fundamental problems within his and his father’s relationship, but another part of it is Jack falling into old patterns of behaviour. Jack has a complicated relationship with the notion that he was actually abused as a child, and in both canon and modern verses he doesn’t tell anyone about the abuse ( he only briefly tells Esmeralda in TPOF, but plays it off lightly ). if that was to suddenly come to light later in life through someone observing Jack and Teague’s relationship, Jack will fall back into the pattern of denial and resisting and obstructing any attempt there might be from that someone to confront Teague about it. 

        in his mind, he would not want such a confrontation  —  even later in life as an adult who is mostly free from Teague’s influence  —  because it would either a) end poorly for the person who is standing up for him ( he says in TPOF that Teague is “rough on those who annoy him” and arguably took the punishment from Esmeralda kicking his ass in order to protect her ), or b) it would only make Teague’s treatment of him worse out of anger at Jack having told someone about it. and again, arguably Jack is safer from Teague’s treatment later in life once there is that space between them, but Jack’s brain was wired for so long to fear this being the case that it is an easy pattern to fall back into.

[divinekangaroo]

was also spending long shower moments contemplating just how *good* final fantasy x was, as well. Not that I have a ficcing urge for it, but mannnnnnnn, it was just so perfectly put together for its time.

[thethingything]

our brain's apparently decided it's time to have a lot of emotions about long distance friendships and people we don't hear from anymore and not being able to meet up with people to hang out and not actually being able to spend time with people the way we want to

[original-punks]

I'm feeling super fucking self-conscious