#that would be exceptionally cool
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the-overreactress · 3 months ago
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What are some of the insights you gained about Rory (and her relationships with other characters) from watching Seasons 5-7? You mentioned that recently, and I am SOOOO curious to know!
Thank you for this ask!!
Something I’ve always wondered about Rory Gilmore’s evolution is just how much her entire identity appears to be built on the praise (seasons 1-3) and critiques (seasons 4-7) from everyone else around her. When Rory is doing well and riding the high associated with her success in Seasons 1-3, we only see the cracks in her facade a few times (i.e. when she’s briefly questioned/prodded by Headmaster Charleston, Jess, Straub, etc.) Season 4 shows Rory in a severely vulnerable light, with her struggling romantically, socially, academically, and emotionally for the first time. Seasons 5 feels like an even more intense build up to the Huntzbergers rejecting her (the dinner with Logan & Mitchum not so kindly telling her the harsh words she’d likely never heard from an authority figure in her life: “You just don’t have it.”)
Or, how Rory might have interpreted it: “You’ll never be good enough for this job you’ve been wanting and working towards your entire life.” That’s a massive blow to the ego. This may not have been what Mitchum intended, but that’s absolutely how it landed with her. The proof is in the stolen yacht.
Her entire external life (I say external, because I am of the belief her internal life is a lot more nuanced) is built on living up to the expectations placed upon her by her mother, her grandmother, her grandfather, her teachers, her friends, her boyfriends, and the citizens of Stars Hollow. The second that world starts to crumble, either from external pressures or Rory’s own mistakes, her entire worldview is thrown into question.
Anytime she is prodded, she is forced to confront her lack of decisiveness, her lack of impulse control, and her lack of real self-worth. The first time I think we really see this is her first day at Chilton, but she eventually rises to the occasion. The second time is probably “teach me tonight” when Jess questions whether she’s actually ready and prepared for the career she wants. Then, she’s quickly defensive in the required therapy sessions at Yale, before devolving into a break down at a few simple questions from the counselor. She breaks down again and dyes her hair when faced with the notion she may not have a plan after graduation (And girl, same.)
Each and every time, you see the same shift in her expression: she’s unsure, she’s questioning, she’s weighing whatever the person or situation is telling her against her own understanding of who she is. Instead of finding the strength to challenge herself and outright reject those expectations, she finds herself utterly lost in them. And yes, so much of this stems from the “gifted kid” narrative, but I also think it’s a lesson in allowing your children to be who they really are, not who you think they are (or want them to be). I think Lorelai mostly did this unintentionally, but it still crops up whenever the conversation of “Rory is our golden child/Savior of the Gilmore Family Name” arises.
Do I really think Rory has what it takes to be a journalist? That’s debatable, but I’d argue yes. Technically and creatively, she’d excel. But her grit and tenacity come and go. They wane even in the face of genuine success/getting what she wants. I rewatched the last Friday night dinner scene in season 7. Lorelai says “You’ve worked so hard for this (the campaign job)” And Rory says “Yeah…I guess so…” like she’s trying to convince herself it’s what she wants (she does this a lot!) I tend to think she WAS excited by the opportunity, but considering how challenging a job like that could be, her trepidation makes sense.
I also want to briefly mention the parallel between Jess and Rory’s behavior after they are both told they aren’t good enough. Both say something to the effect of “I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be around other people right now,” before making impulsive choices. Talk about going on the same journey!
This has all likely been pointed out before, but I am continually fascinated by how Rory in particular has become villainized for so much of her Season 4-6 behavior. While I think some of that criticism is valid (the pattern of cheating, for example), some of it also feels a little sexist. I also think we have to take Rory’s entire arc into account when considering why she makes the choices she makes. Her core identity is built on not only the expectations of everyone around her, but also her OWN expectations of herself, which we have to believe in some cases (maybe not the relationship stuff lol) are fairly high. So when she fails to live up to her own high school valediction version of herself, she simply…crumbles.
Okay, this was too LONG, but at some point, I would really love to do a deep dive into Rory’s thought process when it comes to Logan cheating on her and how she distinguishes her own cheating behavior from his. I also want to go into the revival more. I have many thoughts about that. 😝
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.
#also honestly had NO IDEA that real converse have that star logo on the INSIDE not the outer part??? why the hell would you want it on the#inner portion where nobody can see it?? my entire life I always would have sworn it was on the outer facing portion..#I think these would be perfect IF they were just slightly taller (top part higher above ankles instead of just weird hard material digging#right into your ankle whenever you walk) and if they were actual good platforms. they're so short. It's good that 'chunky' shoes are gettin#more popular as they've always been my favorite Look ever since I had these shoes with roller skates that pop out of thebottom (not heelys.#but like. before those. it was two whole entire roller skate wheels like a normal pair of roller skates) and the bottoms were so tall and#clunky and it made my feet look giant (because it had.. entire wheels in the bottom pockets lol). so#I've alwatys been into the aesthetic but . still I find a lot of the 'brands jumping on trend' are too short of platforms#OR they're plafrorms with a raised back/heel/wedge which to me is not aesthetically good and also makes them exceptionally uncomfortable to#wear compared to just plain completely flat chunky platform bottoms. ANYWAY.. if these shoes had a 3 or 4 inch platform I think they'd be#cooler. however for what they are it's still fine! and I like them more now that they actually have some sort of anything to them and#aren't just plain white. The weird thing is that the material it's made out of (maybe some sort of leather or something) absorbs sharpie?#the color changes over time. You draw a mark and then leave it for a few days and it either fades into being barely there or has changed#colors. so I had to go back in and redo parts. ALSO the shoe chains are so funny because I did NOT have the right tools for them#I don't have the stuff to make bracelets or open and close the little rings. they're held onto the shoe with just safety pins and the actua#little rung things that hold the charms on half of them are like broken or the metal is just jam smushed together bent and warped hhbjhjhb#I actually like the back a lot where there's the irridecent star thing hot glued on there. it's cool and shiny. and the clouds#are sparkly on the main parts of the shoe though I'm not sure how well it shows up in pictures#ANYWAY... shoegs..... If I were rich this is one of the things I would definitely custom order from craftsman#why would I spend like thousands of dollars on plain ass shoes that are just expensive because they're a Luxury Brand when I could literall#like pay people to create me custom shoes to my exact specifications?? I could have like 5 inch flat platform boots with fur andclouds#and cat shaped holes in the bottom with LEDs in them with pom pom and charms and etc. etc. etc. Like as gaudy and excessively over#decorated as I want lol.. AND they could have skates in the bottom somehow!! ghjgbhjb#this on top of all the custom wizard costumes and period clothing I would order.. Like i LOVE customizing things. I love everything in my l#life being as particualr as possible and cultivating every experience I have to meticulously meet my own specific criteria as much#as is possible. If I had the money to I would never buy something from a store again. EVERYTHING I owned from furniture to clothing#would be either made by me - or mostly - comissioned from craftsmen. custom tiles for my floors. custom bed. custom table.#even like. custom toilet. custom sinks. etc. etc. ouGGH... but yeah.. anyway... shoes..
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aeriondripflame · 1 year ago
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wait so im new to asoiaf why do people hate jaehaerys ?
jaehaerys is the bogeyman to every woman he comes in contact with. i can’t speak for everyone when i say this is the reason (there is no shortage of hateworthy men in asoiaf… looking at you hoster tully) but for me the absolute rage i have for jaehaerys comes down to him being at the center of every targ girl’s downfall. rhaena was disinherited for him. he disinherits his own daughter on account of her sex saying well she’ll be the queen as if that is any real power in the world he sets out to create. he cages his own wife (his sister) in the prison of queenhood leaving her to quote unquote more womanly pursuits like i don’t know getting rid of first right and domestic abuse? not to mention him marrying off his very young daughters to old ass men over and over again. not to mention the saera debacle and it’s many implications for his relationship to his daughters. and then of course when he disinherited yet another woman through rhaenys (and his own firstborn son just because his heir was a woman).
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tblsomedoodles · 1 year ago
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my wifi is out until probably sometime tomorrow and my 5g is barely hanging on enough to access Tumblr at all. AND! Even if I was able to scrape enough 5g signals together to answer asks from my phone (like I want to), the answer button is mysteriously missing for me.
so, with any luck, I will answer asks tomorrow as well as post my Friday doodles. (I might have more doodles by then. I am very bored and drawing Clara is very fun.)
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workofthediesel · 1 month ago
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oscillating between excitement and panic at a rate that boggles the human mind
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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guy who is really mad some people don't like having cake smushed in their faces
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guy who is really mad that people smush their friends’ faces into birthday cakes
#and by some i mean. most?#like. whenever i see this discussed the response is usually 99% 'i hate that and would cut off someone who did that to me'#and 1% 'its just a prank bro its super funny youre just taking it too seriously lighten up'#like if u and ur friends are all ok with it cool congrats but acting like its an absurd thing to dislike is weird#it's messy uncomfortable embarassing and exceptionally easy to hurt someone on accident#obviously from getting cake and frosting in your orifices but also like. a rlly common practice in cake making is to#put support skewers in the cake. so thereve been multiple cases of people accidentally stabbing their friends eye out#so like if you made the cake and know theyre cool with it go ham but by and large yeah it is considered an asshole move#and should probably be avoided to be safe?#actually now that i think abt it given that the comment in the screenshot mentions warnings i wouldnt be surprised#if the context for this comment was already talking about safety concerns associated with this#altho to be frank there shouldnt need to be safety concerns to be able to accept some people just. dont want food smashed on them#idk. theres someone in the tags saying 'everyone agreeing with the reddit guy hates fun' and im like.#dude what they just have a different definition of fun than you. other people arent required to enjoy the same things you do#and esp bc part of what reddit guy pointed out is that its still considered a tradition‚ meaning it being#done to people who hate it is really common? like to the point ive seen multiple people talk abt divorcing right after marriage#because they told their fiance ahead of time they would if they did the cake smash and they still went through with it#because they value getting to have their fun with a lil jokey joke prank over yknow. respecting a clearly stated boundary#idk. ive never had much patience for 'its just a prank bro why do you hate fun' type bullshit. without fail it's just an excuse to#violate peoples boundaries and be cruel to them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#notice how people dont often have to clarify a joke is a joke when it's actually funny
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gallusrostromegalus · 1 year ago
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The Van Has Officially Declared It Spooky Season
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I've got my parent's van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.
...I might need to back up a bit.
My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she'd need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they're past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.
They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it's own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.
Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.
My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.
Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I've been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.
It's a Great Van. Very easy and comfortable to drive. Stunningly good MPG for it's size. The best cruise control I've ever had in a car.
It's just also. Quirky. Mischievous, even.
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If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny's last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted "FREE CANDY" on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.
It's got the same issue that Doberman Dogs have where they look like the sort of creature that likes to snack on toddler's faces whilst actually having personalities made of marshmallow fluff. This vehicle is unnecessarily menacing and I think nothing short of an airbrushed Epic Van Wizard will correct this. People see this van pull up and lean over and squint suspiciously at me when the driver's side door opens, and then look moderately confused when, instead of Charles Manson, a small, potato-shaped creature with neon purple hair and a statistically unlikely assortment of dogs emerges.
My own two dogs, Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin/Corgi and Charleston Chew The Taco Dumpster Dog, Do Not Like The Van. Even with the bed in it, they have a tendency to slide and roll around in the back, and both WILL chew through dog saftey belts or other attempts to secure them in there.
On the other hand, my house mate's dog, an exceptionally tall standard poodle whom we lovingly call "The Creature", loves the Van because SHE wears her doggy seat-belt with only mild complaining and gets to sit up in the passenger seat like A People.
Also like A People, The Creature likes to stand and walk around on her hind legs. It doesn't hurt her and it's entirely voluntary, but every so often I will feel a hand on my arm and instead of my husband or friend, it's a canine that's taller than I am on her hind legs who wants to stare at my face with soulful, concerned eyes. The Creature's favorite thing is that she is exactly the right height for me to hold her arm in Genteel Fashion and walk around the pet food or hardware store with her like I'm a count escorting a debutante around a royal ball.
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As it stands, I am set to inherit this vehicle whenever my Honda gives up the ghost, and I fully intend to paint an Epic Van Wizard on it when that time comes.
The other peculiarity of The Van is that while Dad did manage to successfully install all his after-market electronics, not all the electronics get along. Sometimes, they fight for Dominance. The Terabyte Music Player and the Backup Camera have a particularly contentious relationship, and turning on the music has about a 25% chance of turning on the backup camera as well, and turning on the Backup Camera is equally likely to turn on the music.
Firthermore, The Van has a favorite song.
I am not kidding that Dad filled an entire terabyte hard drive with music and the software to sort it via the radio controls, but of all the Early Boomer Dad Rock (Kingston Trio over The Eagles) and Irish Folk and Symphonies and the entire discography of Weird Al Yankovic, The Van's favorite song- The one it picks to play as victory music every time it beats the Backup Camera at their weird electronic game of rock-paper-scissors -is The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.
You all know this song already.
...but in case you've forgotten the tune:
youtube
Yeah.
The Van's favorite song is the goddamn Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music.
It does not play this song at a normal volume.
Every time I turn on the Backup Camera and it manages to turn the music player on as well, The Van insists on absolutely blasting this nonsense on at the maximum volume it's physically capable of producing, which I know is loud enough to be heard from the Denver International Airport's Pickup zone when they Van decided to start playing it from the economy lot about half a mile away.
Perhaps it's The Van's way of honoring the aesthetic sensibilities and sonic enthusiasm of Mr. Sousa.
...I can't help but wonder if the purpose of an Epic Van Wizard is to control this sort of faerie-like malarkey, and channel these chaotic energies into things like Spell of Don't Break Down In Nevada or Enchantment Of Always Have Good Parking.
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So last Friday the 13th, I get a call from my friend and housemate, at said airport.
It's roughly 11PM at night, and I have already retired for the evening. I am in the exact minimum of clothing required to be a decent housemate and not scandalize the neighbors should I happen to walk by a window. My feet are up. There is a cat in my lap and fictional British people murdering each other in highly inventive fashion on the tv. -But my friend has returned from her friend's wedding,and either American or United Airlines has managed to lose her luggage, including, among other valuable possessions, the keys to her car. ...So she cannot just drive home as originally planned.
There are, as luck would have it, her spare set of keys not eight feet from me.
Being a good and decent person, I agree to bring the spare keys to her so she may get home before daybreak and not spend a semester's worth of tuition on an uber across the greater Denver traffic jam.
Being also that she Loves Activities, and it's her mom we're going to pick up, I elect to take along The Creature.
I am primarily focused on remembering how to get to the airport and not leaving my friend's spare keys on the counter, so I throw on a pair of flip-flops, step outside, remember that it's AUTUMN and my minimal evening attire is not sufficient thermal protection, step back in, grab the first coat in the closet I lay hands on, pull it on, check that I have her keys again and leave.
The trip to the airport is largely unremarkable, save that it becomes necessary for me to put on sunglasses to drive, despite it being nearly the witching hour and almost entirely darker than the inside of a cow.
It's necessary because this blissful darkness of night is violently punctured by a startling number of cars that seem to have installed miniaturized but no less powerful lighthouse bulbs in where their headlights ought to go so the oncoming traffic and sports cars that insist on tailgating me in the slow lane alike illuminate the road and my mirrors with the kind of radiance I'd normally associate with the arrival of a Seraphim.
I arrive at the distant highly discounted airport car lot where my housemate is waiting, deeply apologetic. It's nothing. I say. Once I see that your car starts up, I'm gonna go to that 7-11 across the way that I parked in front of, get a slurpee or something and I'll see you at home.
While she is retrieving her vehicle (an equally eccentric but much more stately Subaru that is old enough to be elected to congress) I rifle through the loose change in the glove box and discover that I have exactly $6.66 in small bills and coins. The Subaru, continuing it's long voyage into vehicular immortality, immediately starts up.
Upon her return, we all remember that my friend had all her camping gear in the backseat of the car and there is no room for The Creature to ride home with her parent, so I again assure her it's nothing, and will just take The Creature into the 7-11 with me. She is trained as a service animal and needs the practice after the plague.
I wave my friend off and turn to enter the 7-11.
I promptly trip over the jutting back bumper of The Van and fall, cartoonishly, face-first onto the sidewalk.
Fortunately, I have a lot of practice falling on my face, and have learned not to throw my hands out but instead cover my face, so my unexpected self-inflicted attempted curb-stomping lightly scrapes my hairline and nothing else -my sunglasses even stay in place- and I get up and resume my quest for a slurpee.
It's well known that the airport is a lawless place, and the 7-11 across from the discounted airport parking at the stroke of midnight is no exception.
I know it's the stroke of Midnight because there's one of those Audubon society bird-call clocks that makes bird noises, and my arrival is heralded by the twittering call of a Summer Tanager. I am almost charmed enough by the unusual choice of chronological device to excuse the exorbitant Airport-adjacent mark-up of Slurpee prices. I stand at the machine for some time, trying to decide on a size for the price and guess what the fuck "Blue Lighting Blast" is supposed to taste like.
The Creature is being Very Polite but is somewhat agitated, I assume because she *just* saw her mother for the first time in three days and then she LEFT with no explanation, so The Creature is on her hind legs, staring woefully into my eyes, asking to be escorted around the 7-11. Even though that's not what she's not supposed to be doing, there's nobody else in here, so I let her hang off my arm and discuss various Slurpee Flavor options with her.
We eventually decide on an experiment in which I try a Small Blue Lightning Blast, and discover it tastes a bit like licking a nintendo cartridge but in a pleasantly satisfying way.
I go up to pay and realize something is amiss.
The Cashier is a young man staring at me with wide eyes, one had over the register and the other wrapped up in his rosary.
I look down at myself.
In my haste to reunite my friend with her spare keys and service animal, I had left the house in the following accoutrements:
Flip Flops. Not matching. It's below freezing outside. That last part is not particularly odd footwear for the weather in for Colorado, but it's an important detail for the rest of the ensemble.
Assorted scrapes, bruises, cuts and welts on my arms and legs that come with doing outdoor work and living in a house with three dogs and a fully-clawed cat that all want to be in my lap all the time. It's cold out, so vasoconstriction has pulled the blood away from my skin, a trait that served my ancestors well during the last Ice Age, but leaves me with pale skin to contrast the various wounds and I look like a corpse that fell out of the back of a pickup truck.
The black Bootyshorts with "CRYPTID" painted in bright red gothic font across my ass, that @theshitpostcalligrapher gave me for my wedding present.
A peculiar but extremely comfortable garment that straddles the line between "Lacy Camisole" and "Industrial-Strength Sports Bra" like the Ever Given straddling the Suez Canal. It is also Bright Red. with black accents.
The Jacket I had grabbed out of the closet, which is in fact, a black Velour Dinner Jacket.
The Tokyo-Ghoul inspired reusable anti-covid mask a friend made me with the set of Coyote Teeth.
My sunglasses, which are shaped like a Halloween Bat. The lenses are the wings and the body is the nose bridge. It is ALSO bright red.
A Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle that I have been audibly affectionately calling "Dear Creature" who is hanging off my arm like she's my Prom Date.
The Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle is ALSO dressed up in a black Dog Sweater that has white bones printed on it to look like its an X-ray jacket showing off her skeleton.
I look like I am taking my Very Fancy Werewolf Girlfriend to a particularly casual Dinner Party for Vampires, but the thing that's really selling it and probably alarming the kid the most is the fun accessory I acquired in the parking lot not five minutes earlier:
The "Small Scrape At my Hairline" is actually a painless but PROFUSELY bleeding head wound that I had somehow entirely failed to notice covering my face, neck, decolletage and magnificent cleavage with blood like a Tarantino Film Extra.
This does explain why The Creature has been delicately trying to use her bodyweight to push me down onto the floor for the last ten minutes. So I don't injure myself while we wait for the paramedics she hoped this kid called to arrive, you see.
The Creature has such a High and Naive Opinion of humanity.
I decide this social situation is already fucked, and the only way out is through, and with haste, before I start dripping on the floor.
"Hi there!" I say cheerfully, to indicate this is a visually alarming but not terribly serious situation. "Just a Small Slurpee!"
The Cashier has entered the relevant code into the register before I finish the sentence. His gaze flicks off me just long enough to look at the total, and he grips his Rosary harder.
$6.66
"Oh cool! I have exact change!" I say, taking the money out of my as-yet-unsanguined pocket without looking and slap it down on the counter. "You have a good night and be safe out there!" I wave, leaving.
I get in The Van, mortified, buckle The Creature up, and as I make to leave, I have to put it in reverse, which automatically turns on the backup Camera.
It also turns on the music player.
I make eye contact with the cashier as the dulcet tones of John Phillip Sousa boom from the van hard enough to make the windshield and the windows of the 7-11 rattle for the nine-and-a-half seconds I have to wait to be able to turn the volume back down. Not knowing what else to to, I give him a thumbs up, and leave.
Anyway, now I know what my Future Van Wizard has got to be dressed like, and what their familiar is.
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mariasont · 7 months ago
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hi hiiiiii!!! could you do a hotch x bau reader where there’s an age difference between them like she’s in her 20’s and she has a crush on him and thinks it’s stupid and the team tease her about it but apparently he has a crush on her too? thank youuuu i love your work so much
Stupid Crush - A.H
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a/n: your wish is my command, thank you so much for requesting i hope you love it <3
masterlist
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pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
warnings: idiots crushing on each other, age gap (20s and 40s), garcia spilling the beans about reader's crush (not cool penelope!)
wc: 1.4k
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Your tennis shoes were scuffing into the padded floor, hands resting on your hips while your bottom lip bore the brunt of your anxious chewing. You were here to train, led by your favorite boss.
But your concentration was slipping, stolen by the sight of that same boss, Aaron Hotchner, who managed to make even the simplest training gear look exceptionally good.
You were trying to be discreet, but with your track record, you were sure that wasn't the case. As the youngest member of the team, you'd grown accustomed to the good-natured teasing--a sort of rite of passage, really. But the teasing took on a new intensity whenever it involved your poorly concealed crush on Hotch.
The whole team knew, and they would never let you forget that they knew, constantly reminding you of the way you laughed a little too hard at his dad jokes, how you were the first to agree with his plans, and how you were always finding an excuse to stay late and help him with paperwork.
And to your absolute horror, their teasing was as subtle as a sledgehammer. Morgan winking at you when Hotch compliments your work, Prentiss sending you mortifying texts anytime he was near, and Garcia had taken to called you Mrs. Hotchner when in private.
You blinked--once, twice--as you attempted to refocus your attention to where Hotch's mouth was moving, explaining something about a wrist release move, meant to disarm a larger attacker from behind--a lesson you definitely should be absorbing. Instead, it took the unexpected call of your name from his direction to snap you out of your daze.
He was motioning you to the front. Your brows leapt upwards, and you looked around, hoping for an out of some sort. Bu the knowing looks and suppressed chuckles of your teammates made it clear--they wouldn't dream of intervening, not when they were about to be so thoroughly amused.
You let out a small, defeated sigh as you allowed your legs to carry you forward, all the while ignoring the team's exchange of looks as if they could just sense how flustered you were sure to get.
"How do you want me?"
You resisted the urge to slap a hand over your mouth as soon as you said it, the room filled with muffled snickers. Hotch didn't bat an eye, all but manhandling you, turning you to face the wall with him at your back.
"Now, when the unsub grabs you from behind, like this," he says, his arm a firm band across your chest in a way that made you have to remember how to breathe. "Your first instinct is to panic. But you need to stay calm and think about your next move."
"That might be kind of hard for her." The comment, possibly from JJ, washed over you, igniting a wave of heat that spread like wildfire across your skin.
"The key here is to use the unsub's grip against them. You're going to twist your wrist towards their thumb. The thumb is the weakest part of their grip. So you'll rotate like this," he guides your hand, "and pull down sharply."
You followed his instructions, doing your utmost to overlook just how close he was to you and the way it was sending your senses into a tailspin, especially as his voice seemed to echo intimately in your ear. 
"Now, as you're doing that, you want to step to the side, out of their immediate reach. This will give you the space to turn and face the threat. Then, with your free hand, you deliver a strike to the unsub's face or neck to incapacitate them."
As he stepped back, air filled your lungs once more. You managed to move independently, but you kept your chin dipped low, hiding your face, terrified by the thought of him noticing the fluster all over your face.
"Let's try that again, but this time, I want you to do it without my guidance," he instructed. His voice was clear, but your attention had drifted to the curve of his cheek, the focus in his eyes. "Remember, swift and precise movements. And don't forget to breathe."
Another round of giggles. You were going to hide all of their favorite mugs later.
You returned to the starting position, fitting snugly against him. This time, his hand on your hip brushed against bare skin, eliciting an instinctive twitch and a giggle from your lips.
"You okay?"
You pressed you lips together, silently thanking the gods as his hand found a new home on your shoulder. A mute nod was all you could muster, not trusting your own words as you repeated his instructions, ignoring the searing heat that seemed to engulf your body.
"Good. That's exactly what you need to do." Your nose and ears were burning. "It's not about strength; it's about leverage." He pressed a hand to your back as he faced the rest of the team. "Alright, take five."
After the demonstration, you and Garcia were huddled by the water cooler, taking a generous sip as if that would somehow cool down your insides.
Garcia leaned in, pushing her glasses up her nose, and murmured, "You know, if you keep acting like that, Hotch is going to figure out that you're not just for his profiling skills."
You sputtered, water dribbling down your chin as you tried to form a denial, but what emerged was nothing short of babble, and you were acutely aware that your expression was likely revealing everything you wished to hide.
A throat cleared behind you, and you felt a chill run through you, your hand automatically setting the cup down. Garcia's eyes turned to saucers, and you didn't need to turn around to know who it was--your body's instinctive response to his nearness said it all.
"Could I see you in my office?"
You whipped around, thumb jabbing into your chest as your gaze collided with his. "Me?"
"Yes, you."
Your heart seemed to sink, but still, you obediently followed him, like a puppy. Morgan's elbow connected with your side as you walked by, mouthing a good luck.
Alright, new plan, you weren't just going to hide Morgan's favorite mug, you were going to throw it out the window.
You trailed Hotch into his office, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk, your heart pounding as he closed the door with a click--never a good sign.
"I'm really sorry, sir. Garcia's just, you know, she's probably drunk, and I don't have—well, you're definitely hot, obviously, I mean, not obviously, but I didn't mean—,"
Hotch cut you short with the raise of his hand, moving so he was sitting in his chair behind the desk. "What are you talking about?"
"Garcia's comment, about me having a crush on you," you admit, and then your mouth forms the perfect o of realization. "Unless you didn't hear that, and I just outed myself for no reason?"
His brows nearly disappeared into his hairline. "You have a—,"
"Right, so you didn't hear that. Forget I said anything. I'm sure there's something I need to do... somewhere else, so I'll just—,"
You were scrambling out of your chair, silently pleasing for the floor to open up, but you didn't get far, a hand wrapping around your wrist, keeping you firmly in place.
"Hold on a second."
"Please, Hotch. I've humiliated myself enough, don't you think? If you have any respect for me still, let me leave with at least some of my dignity intact."
You were already mentally mapping out your options: transferring, resigning, even fleeing the country. A different name, a new passport--Garcia could probably help with that.
"I hold you in a higher regard than just respect." Each word was diminishing the space between you.
Maybe you could go to Puerto Rico? That's still technically U.S. territory. Or maybe Mexico, though, given Reid's history, it's probably best to steer clear.
"Well, that's good, I guess."
He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking up. "I'm not good at this."
"Good at what?"
"Asking pretty women on dates."
"Who are you asking on a date?"
"Christ." He exhaled sharply before leaning forward, pressing a soft, firm kiss to your lips. 
When he pulled away, you blinked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, am the pretty woman you're trying to ask out?"
"Is that a yes?"
You couldn't help the wide smile that spread across your face. "That's sooooo a yes."
You looped your arms around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. This time, it was deeper. You decided that you could kiss him forever, and it would still be your favorite pastime.
Maybe it wasn't such a stupid crush.
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taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath @freyy253
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hmusunoo · 3 months ago
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「 FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE | L.HS 」 𐙚
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pairings.ᝰ.ᐟ Heeseung x fem!reader synopsis.ᝰ.ᐟ You shouldn't love him. you were marrying his best friend for gods sake, but you couldn't help your feelings and on what's supposed to be the best day of your life it became clear that Heeseung couldn't help his feelings either warnings.ᝰ.ᐟ SMUT. mdni, reader and Heeseung are NOT good people, toxic relationships, betrayal, runaway bride trope, interrupting a wedding, cheating (don't like it don't read it) , fist fights, unprotected sex (bad) , oral male receiving, tit fuck, mirror sex, bathroom sex (multiple times) filthy to be honest. ft. Yunjin (le sserafim) and Belle (Kiss of life) heartbroken jay (I'm sorry jay ily) + more I'm probably forgetting about.
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You shouldn't be doing this. It was terrible, it was wrong, it was so so wrong. How could something so exceptionally good be so erroneous. You couldn't help it, truly. Heeseung was your kryptonite and he knew it. In fact he was rather smug with the fact.
He currently had you bent over the vanity in the run down bathroom at the very venue you were meant to get married in as soon as tomorrow. This was your fucking rehearsal dinner and here you were fucking the best man, who is also your husband to-be's best friend. You were a terrible person doing a terribly impermissible thing. Something Jay would hate you both for, rightfully so.
Still the desire you felt in your veins for Heeseung was simply inextinguishable. The heat of your love burned too brightly to be put out. No matter how many times you had tried to stop whatever this was you couldn't. You always found yourself back together, him deep inside you for hours on end in the most outlandish of places. Bathrooms, cars, dressing rooms, closets. Anywhere you could get your hands on each other you did.
It started a random night when you and Jay had a big fight. Thinking your relationship was over you drowned your sorrows at the local pub near your house. Somewhere Heeseung had apparently frequented after stressful days of work. One thing lead to another and you ended up in the bathroom together, then you ended up in his bed for hours you were tangled up in one another not thinking of the repercussions of your more then distasteful actions.
The morning after when you woke up with a pounding headache and a memory that had made you sick to your stomach you cried for what seemed like days. Jay had called you apologizing near tears as he assumed you were cooling off at your best friend Yunjin's house. You and Heeseung swore that it was brief lapse in judgement and that it would never happen again, it would become something you took to your grave.
Until it happened again, and again, and again. Every chance you got. The sick feeling afterwards never really faded. The guilt of what the two of you were doing eating you up inside. Even then you didn't stop. Heeseung was like a drug, one that consumed your entire being.
You found yourself thinking about him at almost all waking moments. Even when Jay and yourself were being intimate you thought of Heeseung and the way he knew your body better than any man you had ever been with, including Jay. How he could get you to cum with a simple lick of his tongue on your clit. He was the best lover you've ever took to your bed. On top of all that he was the best friend you could dream of having.
While you had a more than stellar sex life with Heeseung you also had an amazing friendship, speaking until all hours of the night about any and everything. The conversations never grew awkward the moments never growing stale. Soon you found yourself falling in absolute love with him.
Leaving Jay was something you wouldn't even think about doing, It would hurt him way too much. The man had adored you, he treated you like a princess. You were the least deserving person of his love and yet you were terrified of being without him. What would your family think? Your friends? They would hate you, they would judge you.
Of course you and Heeseung had talked about running away together but it just wasn't feasible at the moment. In all honestly the thought of leaving was something you were running away from. You were too comfortable with your daily life and routine. The thought of starting over scared you. It was hard to admit that the thought slightly excited you too. The thought of being with Heeseung all in. No secrets, no hiding. Free to love each other out in the open, but it wasn't that simple and no one in your life would forgive you for it. No matter how tempting the idea was.
The night that Jay had proposed to you was a bittersweet one. You knew you had loved Jay but you also knew that you weren't in love with him. It hurt you more to admit that to yourself. When he proposed your friends and family were there, including Heeseung. Who had a smile that only you knew was fake on his face. He clapped like everyone else when you accepted but you knew the true turmoil circling in his head.
That was more than evident when he later pushed you into the bathroom of the fancy restaurant. Yanking your panties down and pushing into you in desperation against the wall of the bathroom. He had your throat between his fingers squeezing it like a vice as he muttered words of dominance in your ear. You were begging for him to give you some sort of mercy as his pace was Moree brutal than you had ever seen.
"You're mine" He grunted when he came inside of you for the second time in a row. His lips attached to your tits where you had to yank his head off so he wouldn't leave any marks. Something he was less than pleased about. He inserted his fingers in your heat pushing his leaking cum back into the hole that he had just abused. Ordering you to put your panties back on and walk around with the evidence of him all night.
When you had finally went home that night you faked falling asleep early with the guise of being exhausted from all the excitement of the day. You already felt dirty from having Heeseung's spend in you all night you didn't want to feel worse by sleeping with Jay that same night.
You knew how all this had sounded, you knew how it looked and still you continued and truthfully you had no intention of stopping.
"You're so sexy" Heeseung grunted from behind you. His thrusts were quick and precise. The wack of his hips against yours furthered the arousal coursing through you. "Taking me so good like a good little wife." His voice was firm as he whispered the words in your ear taunting you.
The white rehearsal dress you were wearing was bunched up around your waist, your panties hastily pushed down your legs for quick and easy access. Heeseung's tie crooked and hair disheveled from the heated make out session you were having only ten minutes ago.
"Hee" You gasped out griping the basin of the sink in your hands. "feels so good" You words were slurred as Heeseung continued his assault on your battered core. His grip on your hips tightening with every thrust and every slam of his hips.
"Yeah?" Heeseung smirked watching your face contort from the pleasure through the mirror in front of you. "Who's making you feel so good baby?" His breathing was heavy the words sounding more breathy than you were sure was intended.
"You" You whispered out, struggling to find the words he was chasing after.
"What was that?" He continued to taunt. His hand snaked around your neck squeezing lightly as he brought your mouth to his, hovering over your lips but not fully connecting them. You whined pushing your face forward in a feeble attempt at connecting your lips with his.
"No no" Heeseung tisked with a coo. "Answer my question baby..who's making you feel so good?" His tongue ghosted the outside of your lips grazing them in a tantalizing way.
"You" You gasped out "You Heeseung" You knew he was looking for his name to fall from your lips. His smirk all the evidence you needed to know that you had reached his target.
"That's right my love" He quickened his pace even faster knocking the air from yours lungs in the process. The thought of someone possibly looking for you had eluded you the moment Heeseung sank inside of you.
"I'm close" You heaved splaying a hand out in front of you on the mirror to better support yourself. "Right there!" You were chanting, your voice high pitched. You had only hoped and prayed that no one was walking past the bathroom at this very moment.
"Right there?" Heeseung cooed slamming his hips into you with one particularly hard thrust.
"Yes, fuck you're deep" Your legs started to tremble from the pleasure struggling to right yourself. Heeseung held you up the support from him more than appreciated because without it you were sure you would crumble to the ground a puddle of yourself.
"I'm going to cum" Heeseung emit's breathily. You pushed your hips back against his in an attempt to further his pleasure. You had a strong inclining it worked when the sound of his breath hitching in his throat was heard from his position behind you.
"Oh fuck, yes. Fuck me back. Just like that" His dirty talk was a catalyst to your orgasm the sound of his deep husky voice moaning in your favor tipping you over the edge of no return. Heeseung followed suit almost immediately after shooting his cum deep inside of you.
Taking a second to catch your breath you cleaned your head against the mirror welcoming the cold of the glass to help cool your heated skin. Heeseung slid out of you with a wince his sensitive cock soft and limp as he tucked it back into his dress pants.
"let me clean you up" Heeseung susurrated. The sex haze fading and the second of guilt that had always passed between you two came and went in a whisper just like it always did. Every time. This time it hit a little harder, the reality of where you were and what was to be happening tomorrow weighing on the both of you like dead weights. Your relationship with Jay wasn't something the two of you discussed often, it was sort of a taboo topic amongst you both. Almost believing that if you don't speak about the horrible thing you two were doing it would make it sudden less harrowing.
Of course that wasn't true and most days the guilt tears you up inside but you endure it, for Heeseung.
Heeseung took a piece of plush toilet paper and cleaned you up carefully like he always did after the two of you finished. He pulled the skirt of your dress down smoothing it out as best as he could as you looked yourself over in the mirror. Your makeup was slightly smudged from the kissing but other than that you had looked perfectly put together.
"Y/n I-" Heeseung's hand snaked around your waist readying himself to turn you around to look at him. He couldn't get the words out before he was being interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. The two of you jumping at the intrusion.
"Y/n?" Yunjin's voice bellowed from outside the door. "The dinner is starting are you ok sweets?"
"Y-yes" You stuttered out "I'll be right out, just nervous. Go save me a seat will you"
"Well of course there is a seat for you! You're the bride" Her cheery voice and the context of her wording had made you cringe. Heeseung as well given that he physical recoiled at the mention of you getting married tomorrow.
"I'll be right out!" You stifled again. You heard Yunjin give you acknowledged confirmation and walk off. The breath you let out was heavy. Looking over at Heeseung who had a detached look on his face, an almost sorrowful look.
"Are you ok?" You asked him, grabbing his face in your hands.
"Uh yeah" He cleared his voice "We should get out there" He ghosted his lips over your forehead breathing in, then setting thee lightest kiss he could to the area.
"You go first, I'll leave a few minutes after you." Heeseung detached himself from you looking at himself in the mirror one more time to check himself over.
You slipped out of the bathroom with ease. Most of the guest were in the dining area of the venue already getting ready for the rehearsal dinner that was to take place. You spotted Yunjin, your best friend and maid of honor sitting next to your other best friend and bridesmaid Belle. The end of the table held two seats. Intended for the bride and groom.
Gulping a big breath of air down you sat down next to Jay who was smiling at you awaiting your arrival.
"Hi" Jay whispered to you as you sat down.
"Hi" You whisper back sending him the hardest smile you could possibly muster. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom."
"Phew" Jay laughed jokingly wiping his forehead "and for a second I thought you fled out the window like a runaway bride" Your eyes widened a blush of embarrassment coating your cheeks. Jay's laugh rang through cutting you right in the gut.
You laughed a long with him not wanting to alarm him. You took his hand in yours squeezing it lightly ass a reassurance to yourself more than it was to him.
Heeseung stumbled into the room looking as proper and poise as he ever did. Your cheeks heated up once again, this time not in embarrassment but in arousal. Squeezing your thighs together to alleviate the want coursing through your veins for the beautiful man that was finally seating himself farther down the table next to a few of the other groomsmen.
You lifted your glass of water to your lips taking a sip to try and calm the ragging fire brewing inside of you, flashes of your earlier actions in the bathroom ceaselessly running rabid in your mind.
"Jenni said that she walked passed the bathroom and heard a women moaning Heeseung's name..sounds like he was getting busy with one of your skank bridesmaids" Yunjin said in a hush voice so that only you, belle and herself could hear it. You chocked on the water you were sipping on eyes widening. Jenni had heard you two? You couldn't have possibly been that loud?
"No way!" Belle squeaked "He's always so closed off.. he never wants to take women home. Trust me I would know, i've tried at least ten times for that man to take me to his bed." Her words had your teeth grating down on each other. That twitch of jealously rearing its ugly head.
It wasn't fair of you to be jealous, you were to be married. But the sheer thought of Belle, or any other woman for that matter in Heeseung's bed had made you sick to your stomach.
"I cant't believe he'd fuck someone here of all places" Yunjin said with a face of disgust. Your eyes wandered over to Heeseung who was in a conversation with Sunghoon. His smile wide as he discussed whatever it was that they were talking about. Your heart pounded in your chest at the mere sight of him happy and laughing away with his friend, for a second just a tiny little split second you imagined what it was like to be getting married to him tomorrow. The sight of you walking down the aisle in your dream dress, your heart racing to the end like it were a finish line and Heeseung was the raining trophy. A true prize to be won.
The sick feeling you felt just a second ago was replaced with butterflies, a burning in your heart that you only felt with him.
Your day dream was abruptly shattered when the sound of a knife on glass was heard around the room. Jay was clinging the wine glass to summon everyone in a toast. Your smile fell for the briefest second before it was forced back. Looking like the cheerful bride you were meant to be.
"I'd love to propose a toast to my beautiful bride-to-be Y/n you've made me the happiest man alive and I can't wait to marry you tomorrow and start my life with you by my side forever." Awe's of adoration rang throughout the room. Everyone taking in your dotting husband-to-be. Your smile was fake, the blush on your face would paint you as an incredible actor.
Your eyes flickered to Heeseung's for only a moment but in that moment you had seen the white sheen of his skin and his look of utter devastation. It had left you confused, and also panicked. You didn't want anyone to see Heeseung's expression and think anything of it.
Jay lifted your chin up with his finger breaking your brief eye contact with Heesseung. He landed a soft kiss to your lips, one you would have swooned over in the early days of your relationship with Jay. The knot in your stomach was wound so tight you felt as if your insides would burst at any moment. Spilling the contents of your affair everywhere.
"I love you" Jay whispered as everyone sat idly by watching what they thought was two people madly in love with one another. If only they knew the storm brewing inside of your head and the gaping hole in your heart the size of Lee Heeseung.
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Later that night after the rehearsal dinner you had felt nothing but exhausted ready to get to your hotel room and sleep for the night. Considering what tomorrow was you wanted to get a good nights sleep, it would be a long day after all. Jay was upset that you had to be in different rooms for the night. It was very obvious to you and everyone else what he was intending on doing tonight if you two were to share a room together.
You said goodnight to Jay before beginning your walk to your room that you shared with Yunjin and Belle. When you were close to your room you were just about to open the door before you were being pulled into a maids closet across the hall from your room.
With a muffled screeched you whipped around trying to see who exactly pulled you into this dark fucking space.
"Its me. It's me" You heard Heeseung whisper out grabbing onto your upper arms to settle you.
"Heeseung! You scared the shit out of me!" You whisper yelled at the boy.
"Sorry baby I needed to see you" Heeseung's voice was strained almost like he was holding himself back.
"Are you alright?" You asked him.
"Yeah, yeah I'm ok its just.." He trailed off looking down at the ground almost in embarrassment. "After seeing you and Jay tonight it made me..incredibly territorial."
You arched a brow his way the ghost of a smirk making its way onto your face. 'Yeah?" You cooed toying with the belt loop of his dress pants.
"Wasn't it enough to fuck me right before that?" You were taunting him, riling him in hopes that he would defile you just the way you know he wants to.
"It's never enough" He growled pulling you closer to him by your waist. You were right up against him. His hard won prominent in his pants. It had you breathing heavier by the second, the want for him growing and growing. "I'm addicted to your tight pussy baby" His voice was a low murmur in your ear.
His breath fanning over the shell of your ear sending shivers down your spin. Heeseung grabbed at your asscheek giving it a rough squeeze as he attached his lips to yours with an animistic growl. "Mine" He grunted out. It was incredibly hot to see just how riled up and possessive he was for you. You'd be lying if you said you were absolutely dripping wet right now.
You were still wearing the rehearsal dress you were wearing earlier when he fucked you in the bathroom so grabbing his hand and placing it on your sopping wet underwear was no problem for you at all. "I'm so wet right now" You panted against his mouth as he continued to assault your mouth with his tongue.
"Fuck" He cursed circling his fingers over your covered core. "You are" He nodded at you, he lifted his fingers to his mouth and encasing them whole. He slurred up the juices just from your heat.
"Can I suck you off" You whined already working on getting his pants off and around his ankles.
"Y-yeah" Heeseung stuttered raking his hands through your hair. You dropped to your knees in front of Heeseung pulling his dick out of his pants.
Starting with small little kitten licks to the head Heeseung looked down at you with a dark glint to his orbs. His eyes were full of nothing but unadulterated lust for you. "Don't tease sweetheart..." He whined out yanking your hair just hard enough to show you how serious he was.
Finally deciding to put him out of his misery you attached your mouth to his cock taking him as far as you could bobbing you head up and down at a fast pace that had Heeseung's knees buckling underneath him. The rest that couldn't fit in your mouth you used your hands to please him with working him over like a starving whore.
"Holy-" Heeseung gasped out holding a hand against the wall beside him to stop himself from buckling under the pleasure of your warm, wet mouth. "That's it sweetheart. Can you take me deeper?" His voice was low and gravely a moan slipping out past his labored sentence.
You took his cock deeper in your mouth until you felt the tip hitting the back of your throat, with a gag you released his member to take a quick breath. You attached your mouth to his balls sucking on them as you continued to pump his member in your small hands.
"Fuck" His moans and whines were your driving force to further pleasure him even more.
"Do you want to cum in my mouth Hee?" You asked with a gasp reattaching yourself to his tip awaiting his answer.
"Your- f-fuck" He was struggling to form sentences his gasps and whines taking precedence over structural sense. "Your tits"
You smirked up at him, Tit fucking was a guilty pleasure of Heeseung's any and every chance he got to be wrapped around your tits he took it. If you had a penny for everytime Heeseung ask to cum on your tits you'd be rich. You really should have seen this coming.
You pulled the top of your strapless dress down revealing your perky breast to his hungry and wanting eyes. Heeseung licked his lips reaching his hand out to cup the underside of your boob circling your nipples between his finger and thumb. A low whined escaped your lips at the tweak of his fingers on your sensitive nub.
You took your two breath in your hands and squished them around Heeseung's cock encasing him fully. You started your rigorous movement up and down on him and a continued fast pace. Occasionally you would dip your head to lick the tip that poked out from between your breasts.
"Beautiful" Heeseung moaned "So beautiful baby" His hips stuttered at your movements. You knew he was close based on his labored breathing and the squeeze of his eyes shut. His thrown back against the wall of the closet.
"You close?" You asked shakily, Heeseung nodded his head fast returning his hands to your nipple playing with the nubs once again.
"So close baby" He moaned out "I'm fuck- I'm there" His thighs tensed above you and soon enough his cum was shooting up and all over your exposed cheat painting it white with his spend.
"Fucking hell" Heeseung sighed when you let go of his now soft cock. Giggling you dipped your finger into the cum that still coated your breasts sticking the finger into your mouth as you contained eye contact with the boy.
"God, you're something else" He laughed shaking his head in disbelief of you. Looking around the closet for paper towels to clean you up a comfortable silence fell over the two of you.
"Aren't the guys going to be looking for you?" You asked Heeseung as you wiped your chest clear of Heeseungs cum. You pulled your dress top back over yourself finally covered up once again.
"Nah, They were having a few drinks and I wasn't in the mood to hear Jay gush over you all night like you're his.." He trailed off looking over at you expectantly. You couldn't help but cringe at the suddenly awkward feeling in the room.
"Well..technically I am his Hee" It was a hard pill to swallow. One that Heeseung obviously didn't like the taste off very well.
"what if you weren't?" Heeseung asked grabbing your hands in his. "What if you didn't get married tomorrow" Never has he been so brazen about you leaving Jay. Sure, the two of you had discussed it many times and all times you came to the conclusion that it just wasn't possible.
Your friends and families would hate you and more than that jay himself would hate you. It was a tricky subject one you didn't like breaching often and Heeseung knew this. The fact that he was bringing it up the day before you were meant to get married was a little bit inconvenient.
You wanted nothing more then to be with Heeseung. You wanted a full and happy life with him, but in all honesty you didn't deserve it.
"He'll hate us Heeseung.." You murmured not looking him in the eye. You feared that if you did look him in the eye that it would be all the convincing that you needed, but you had to think realistically and it just wasn't an option for you.
"Every time I look at you I find it harder and harder to care if he would hate us. I find it harder and harder to find excuses as to why we can't be together. Every kiss, every touch, every time I'm inside of you I'm that much closer to shouting to the rooftops to everyone who will hear me about how much I love you Y/n." No one said being in love would be easy but you didn't know it would be this fucking hard either.
The words Heeseung was saying to you had made your heart stutter and your pulse quicken. Your resolve was crumbling and fast.
"I don't know.. She hasn't answered her phone and I've been calling her for like an hour." You heard a muffled voice right outside the door of the maids closet stopping all traces of the earlier conversation. It was Yunjin right outside your hotel door that was narrowly across from the maids closest you and Heeseung currently occupied.
"You don't think she got cold feet and ran do you?" Belle's voice was heard next shakily asking Yunjin the question no bridesmaid or maid of honor wanted to say on the day before a wedding.
"No, no Y/n would never do that." Yunjin said "She's probably just with Jay sneaking off somewhere, we'll give her until midnight before we call Jay and ask"
"So..in ten minutes?" Belle asked. You looked at Heeseung quickly your eyes wide as panic slightly set in. You needed them to go into the room or somewhere else so you could slip out of this god forsaken closet.
"Yes" Yunjin voice got a bit distanced and the sound of a door closing ceased all voices from the hallway. They had went into the room like you had hoped and now you had to make a dash for it if you didn't want to be caught sneaking out of the closet with Heeseung on your toes.
"I-i have to go" You rushed out to Heeseung giving his hands one last squeeze before you quietly opened the door to closet leaving him alone. He reached out to you but quickly slammed his hand back down. Letting you leave without another word.
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You could do this, you could do this, you could do this. It's what you kept telling yourself over and over as the day slowly but surely progressed. Hair and makeup flawless, head piece neatly connected to your veil and dress as snug as ever over your body. You looked...exquisite. You looked more beautiful than you ever felt like you had before. But truthfully you had felt less than stellar. There was a heavy weight that sat in the bottom of your stomach the feeling making you sick all over.
You were getting married today, but you were marrying a man you didn't love. A man you haven't loved in a long time. It was tearing you from limb to limb, he had deserved so much better than you. So, so much better. You were a true harlet and nothing you did after this moment would change that fact.
You had spent so much of your relationship with Jay tangled up with another man, falling in love with another man. Even worse so that man was his best friend, a friend he had for years and years. You were that driving wedge between them. You were a horrible, disgusting person and it had taken you in a beautiful white dress getting dotted on to truly notice it.
"You ready sweets?" Yunjin asked you from behind you. Hands on your shoulders as she beamed lightly at you through the mirror.
"Yeah" You whispered averting your eyes away from the mirror and away from the prying eyes of your best friend. She looked happy and that had made you feel more poorly than you'd care to admit.
"Well it's time.." She squeezed your shoulders gingerly then turned around to gather the rest of the bridal party readying them to get into their positions next to their respective groomsmen.
You took a deep breath finally looking yourself win the mirror one last time before getting up to join your wedding party. You caught Heeseung's eye across the hall standing next to Yunjin as she talked everyone's ear off about the order and what to when they reached the end of the aisle.
Heeseung's stare was intense, it was a look you had never seen from him before. Like a mix of awe and sorrow. He clenched his hands by his sides flexing open then closed in what you could only assume was nervousness. He didn't say a single word but he didn't need to. You knew exactly what he wanted to say and you weren't quite sure if it hurt you or healed you. Hurt because this was it; you were marrying another man. Or healed because again, this was it and you were marrying another man and sooner rather than later this would have to end.
You hadn't accepted that fact yet and the realization hit you like a freight train going a hundred miles an hour. You didn't know if you were losing Heeseung tonight or if you were loosing yourself, It had felt like both.
The wedding music you had picked out started playing over the loud speaker signally the start of your forever.
Taking one finally deep breath you started you decent down the aisle. Jay stood at the end a smile on his face that had only made your heart crack wide open. You had to remind yourself to smile you didn't want to look how you felt and truthfully you were terrified. You were so terrified that you were making the biggest mistake of your life right now marrying a man you weren't in love with.
Once again your eyes flickered to Heeseung's for a split second. His gaze still on yours as if it had never left. It was still intense, still raw and still so full of emotion that it left your head spinning on its axis.
Once you reached the end of the aisle your hands found Jay's awaiting ones. You sent him the warmest smile you could muster as he whispered "You look very beautiful" to you. It furthered the sinking feeling in your stomach.
The officiant started his spiel not even a second later, your mind wandering to unforeseen places as he drowned on and on about love and bringing to people together in holy matrimony but you could not focus on a single word he was saying. Trying to calm the pounding off your heart as what seemed like a million eyes watched you. Could they tell you were falling apart at the seems? Could they seem the storm brewing in your head. Surely they couldn't pin point the dreadful look on your face, it was just nerves to them. You were just another nervous bride to them.
Finally the officiant declared to everyone in the room to speak now if they'd like to object or forever hold their peace. The room was eerily quiet the clock in your mind ticking and you found it screaming at you something you had never thought before. Heeseung say something! Say something please. The thought startled you but it came straight from your heart like a high jacker taking over your mind body and soul your heart was for once at the forefront of your being, finally In charge making the decisions for once.
Heeseung please..-
"Don't marry him."
You could hear a pin drop. The silence that followed was deafening. No one had believed it. You froze in your place your eyes shooting to Jay to watch his rigid body as he stared down...at Heeseung a mixture of confusion and rage written all over his face.
"What-" You cracked the silence.
"Don't marry him Y/n" He said again stepping down from the higher up podium the wedding party were on.
"Heeseung what the hell are you doing?" Sunghoon whispered yelled to him. Everyone watched in horror as Heeseung ignored him looking at you and only you.
"I can't stand here for more second and act like this isn't tearing me apart. Mind, body and soul. I'm not great with words Y/n. You know that but I think it's a rather simply thing to say anyway. I love you" Gasped were heard from around the room Jay's eyes wide as he stood unmoving watching the scene unfold in front of him.
"I love you so much that I'm willing to be the villain in every single persons story here, including yours. If that's what it takes for you to take my hand and run out of here with me." Heeseung held his hand out to you as you took a shuttering breath.
Reaching your hand forward to take it was all you intended to do, but before you could connect your hand with his Heeseung was sent flying back onto the ground Jay on top of him in a blur before you could even register what was going on.
"jay!" You shrieked out as the two boys tumbled over eachother throwing blow after blow. Sunghoon sprang into action yanking Jay off of Heeseung with as much strength as he could.
"You fucking bastard!" Jay bellowed pointing his finger in his direction.
"Y/n. What the hell is happening." Yunjin said from next to your her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion looking between Heeseung who was on the floor wiping his now bleeding lip and Jay who was being held back by Sunghoon.
"I'm sorry ok-"
"Fuck you! You just told my wife you love her and-and oh god" Jay turned to you his face red, tears sliding down his cheeks in a cascade. "You- you were going to take his hand"
"jay I-" You started with a stutter trying to gain your bearings but truthfully you didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry" You cried tears now falling down your cheeks too. "I didn't mean to hurt you but I-i lo-" He cut you off again, a furry in his eyes you had never seen before.
"Don't." He ran a hand through his hair puling at the ends. "Don't say you love him."
"But I do" You whispered defeated. "I love him Jay."
Heeseung those from the floor still wiping his bleeding mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. Not like he'd need it now anyway.
"How long?" Yunjin said from the corner looking at you. "How long have you been lying to everyone Y/n"
You looked to the floor with shame "Over a year"
"I can't believe this." Jay muttered "You've been sneaking behind my back for over a year?" You nodded, the tears still free flowing.
Jay shook his head again, turning to walk away his back turned to you and Heeseung he muttered "I'll never forgive you two. Never."
Your heart cracked in two at the sight of his shoulders slumped in defeat. Of the sight of the disgust from almost everyone in the room as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.
Yunjin picked up the hem of her dress making her way towards the direction Jay went. "Yun please" You called out in a whisper.
"No, Y/n." She seethed. "You ruined everything. I hope you're happy." The room quickly emptied itself everyone fleeing for the monstrous mess that was supposed to be your wedding leaving only you and Heeseung left to deal with the aftermath.
"I don't regret that." Heeseung spoke softly, being the first one to finally break the harrowing silence.
"I want to be with you" He took your hand in his cradling your face with his other palm. "No matter what Y/n I want to be with you."
"I do too." You said a single tear falling from your eyes.
"Lets runaway" He said, your eyes widening in shook at his brazen proposal.
"Marry me. and let's runaway." He titled your head towards his. His eyes completely attached to yours with an intense gaze you could describe as desperation.
"Ok" You said a small smile making its way on your lips "Ok I'll marry you" Heeseung picked you up in a blur spinning you around in his arms.
"Heeseung!" You giggled out as he placed you back on the ground grabbing your head in his hands, cupping your cheeks and attaching his lips to yours in the most vehement kiss you had ever had.
"Let's get out of here."
You didn't know where you'd go and what the future held for you. You didn't know if the people in your life would ever forgive you again, or if they'd even care that you'd left but all you knew was that your future was Heeseung and with that it couldn't be anything less then extraordinary.
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ɾαιɳ'ʂ αυƚԋσɾ ɳσƚҽ!; omg. I'd like to make it abundantly clear that I do not support cheating in real life, this is purely fictitious so please don't scream at me. I'm sorry Jay ily! you deserve better.
ƚαɠʅιʂƚ!; @st1llm0nster , @belovedhoon , @blossommi
703 notes · View notes
dollfacefantasy · 11 months ago
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hi! i love your writing so much! i was wondering if you could write something with leon and a clingy reader? she just likes being held by him, and one day a make out session gets out of hand while he’s holding her so he just fucks her while standing up, not letting her get down. i don’t know if this makes sense but the thought won’t leave my head. hope you’re having a good day/night! <3
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pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader
summary: you're such a needy little thing. leon can't get enough of you, and when he finds out you like being held, he has to take advantage of that.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, oral sex (m receiving), standing sex, daddy kink
word count: 3.9k
a/n: thank you so much for the request! i FELT this one cause i also have a thing about being held hehe. i hope it's what you were looking for :) reblogs and comments are really appreciated <3
tags: @sleepyluxe @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis @pupthepokemonenthusiast @bizzarethirst @death-paint @petitecolibri @iron-toxinz @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @nexysworld @explorevenus @luniaxi
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It only took Leon a couple weeks of dating to figure out that his girlfriend was exceptionally needy. He could tell you tried to suppress it to the best of your ability, control your yearning for physical contact, but it was still there. Honestly, it was obvious from the way you looked at him alone. Glossy, pleading eyes just calling out to him for some love.
At first, he was wary of this trait. He wasn’t good with affection normally. Didn’t like talking about his feelings. That stuff was just too much. He’s a busy guy already. He didn’t need extra worries in the form of a sweet thing like you rubbing your cheek against his neck, snaking your arms beneath his shirt, softly pleading “Leon, I wanna cuddle.”
But his problem was that he always gave into that stuff. Words like those hitting his ears, your pouty lips begging for his kisses, and grabby hands roaming around his body always got you what you wanted. He’d plant a smooch on your temple or forehead, grunt a quiet “c’mere then baby,” and pull you on top of him.
Time passed, and you grew on him like ivy climbing a stone wall. Your clingy nature took root somewhere inside him and drove him wild. It was addictive, feeling so needed. For the first time in his life, he felt like someone’s absolute first choice. It was nice living out his days with the subconscious idea that he was your favorite person. He could get a bit cocky about it sometimes but more than anything it made him all sappy. He couldn’t help it. He tried keeping up the cool, slick persona around you for a little while because impressing you was so important to him. But the way you looked at him made him feel like Superman. Your precious face tilted upwards to gaze at him like he was the only man you’d ever laid eyes on. It just made him wanna scoop you up and take off, soar far up into the clouds where it would just be the two of you.
So he ended up feeding into this kind of behavior one thousand percent, enabling you with no reservations. If you were sitting together, you were on his lap. Standing near each other? His arm was around you, keeping you tucked to his chest. The two of you would be lying in bed and simple cuddling just didn’t cut it anymore. No, instead, he’d be rubbing your back, nuzzling and kissing your neck, massaging your scalp. And the pet names were constant. Your actual name was only reserved for serious or special occasions. In ordinary conversations, it was always “my baby” with the intermittent “precious girl” or “princess” mixed in. 
Because, from his perspective, why wouldn’t he? You both deserved this. You craved the physical affection you’d never gotten enough of while he yearned for a sweet little thing to dote on and love between the brutal DSO missions that plagued most of his time. He didn’t give a fuck if someone wanted to say it was codependent or that he was whipped. You were his baby, and if sweet tender affection was what revved your engine, what kind of man would he be to deprive you of it?
Maybe he was whipped. He wouldn’t shy away from that label. He loved you undoubtedly. His heart ached to see you smiling and laughing. Each individual cell in his body cried out to be pressed against you. But in the same breath, he’d be a liar if he said that sex played no part in his urges to coddle you.
He’d never seen a girl get as cock drunk as you. He’d warm you up with his cooing and caresses, and then all he had to do was slide a few inches in you, and you were gone. Nothing had ever gotten him so hard. It’s like your brain shut off as soon as your sweet little pussy was filled up. Really, you went the whole nine yards; whining, babbling, drooling. Your gorgeous lashes would flutter as your eyes went hazy, and you always wanted to hold his hand. Well, more specifically, you wanted him to offer his hand to you. He’d simply murmur “Aw, is it too much, princess? Here, hold daddy’s hand. That’s my girl,” and you were already cumming.
Cause that was the other part of this whole thing. Shortly after he caught on to your intense need for physical affection, he discovered your penchant for the infamous d word. The first time you’d said it, he had you pinned down to the mattress, face shoved against your pillow, hips slightly elevated while he stuffed you full of cock. You just cried it out in the same way you’d yell for God or whine “fuck.” And he rolled with it. One little word wasn’t gonna get in the way of what he’d found with you.
Beyond calling him daddy, Leon tried to take note of all the things that got you going. Sure, you were fond of physical expressions of love, and you probably wouldn’t turn down an offer from him ever. But that didn’t mean you didn’t have favorites when it came to this stuff. Leon took pride in remembering what you liked. Over the months of your relationship, he made a point to remember the specific motion you liked him to do when he rubbed your back. He burned into his mind that you liked to kiss in a way that would definitely make those over-the-top smooching noises found in network dramas. What could he say? He just wanted to do everything right for you.
Possibly his favorite thing that he discovered about you though was your love for being held. Love probably wasn’t even a strong enough word. Your affinity? Proclivity? Plain white hot need? Who fucking knows. All he knew was that you had a major thing for being wrapped up in his arms with your head on his shoulder.
The first hint he’d got at this part of you came by pure accident. He’d just arrived home from a mission, a long and taxing one at that. He’d missed you like crazy, felt as needy as you did on a daily basis, and you were practically vibrating with a longing for his touch. So when you came bounding down the hallway to meet him at the front door, he’d grabbed you by the waist, picked you up and spun you around like in an old cartoon when the prince and princess finally get their happily ever after.
Coming out of the short twirl, he’d brought you to his chest and held your body a little ways above the ground. He cradled your head to your shoulder and kept his grip tight to support you. And it wasn’t like you melted or had little hearts gleaming in your eyes, but something in your demeanor shifted.
“There’s my baby,” he muttered while smacking kisses on the side of your head.
You replied with how much you missed him, more than anything in the whole world. He laughed his deep, rumbling laugh and brought you over to the couch. You were all over him even more than normal which was really saying something. You couldn’t stop pecking his face or pushing up against him. Next thing he knew, you were tugging at his belt and taking his dick down your throat.
“Fuck, precious. don’t gotta choke yourself. It’s not goin’ anywhere,'' he hummed while tilting his head back against the couch. You weren’t normally so forward. You were always needy, but typically, you waited for him to initiate. It was much more your style to drop hints that you were in the mood and wait for him to pick up on your signals, but this time you just went for it.
He stroked the back of your head while you bobbed your head, taking him deeper each time. Groans fell from his lips, and his hips jolted in small twitches. Your saliva seeped out over your soft lips and dribbled down to his balls. You had never lacked enthusiasm before, but now you were taking him like his cock was the best treat you’d ever had.
He could barely stand the sight of you in that moment. Cute eyes drooping while your cheeks hollowed. Once he heard the muted sound of you gagging, he was done for. Shot his load deep in your throat in what would have been an embarrassingly short amount of time if you were anyone else. But you swallowed it all without any complaints and then crawled into his lap to cuddle some more. As you curled up to his chest, he knew something he did struck a chord with you to get you so eager.
So naturally, he tried picking you up again a couple days later. He had to know if that was a fluke or if it really was a thing. This time it was much more intentional, but he still played it off as a teasing gesture. He scooped you up from behind while you were fidgeting with something in the kitchen, expecting a whiny chorus of “Leon!” and “Stop, put me down!” But you didn’t say either. You let out a soft squeak and a quiet “What are you doing?”
“Just giving you a hug, baby,” he teased and situated you in his embrace so your front was pressed to his.
Almost immediately, as if your skull was magnetized, your head fell to his shoulder. Your limbs tightened around him a little and you took a deep breath like you wanted to commit his scent to memory. You didn’t even complain about him pulling you away from whatever task had been occupying your attention.
“This isn’t a hug,” you’d said softly.
“Says who? Seems like a hug to me, got my arms around you,” he responded with a small kiss to your temple.
His hand rose to your head and cradled it against his shoulder as your legs locked around his waist. He stood there with you for a moment just taking in the embrace. It was as if he could feel you melt against his body.
“A hug is when we’re both standing,” you say quietly while slotting your face in the warm crook of his neck.
“Yeah? You look that up in the dictionary or something?” he mutters in return.
When he had a firm hold on you, he walked you through the living room, taking the long way up to the bedroom to give his little experiment some time to play out. You rested quietly in his grasp as he navigated past furniture. He ran his free hand up and down your back as he moved, his other one planted firmly on your thigh to support you.
After the two of you reached the bedroom, he set you down on the bed and climbed in after you. His fingers coasted across your cheek as he looked down into your eyes, studying you in a way. He was still curious about what was going through your head. Again, him holding you like that had led to some of the best sex the two of you’d had, but there was something deeper there too. This wasn’t just a cheat code to get you to drop your panties. There was an emotional part of this too. He could tell.
“So you like when I pick you up, hm?” he’d asked.
You looked up at him from your spot against his chest, glowing a bit as you came down from the high. “I guess,” you answered with a tiny shrug.
He’d chuckled at your attempt to be casual and just dropped the subject matter. Your reasons were probably sensitive to you. Located in a deep, private cavern of your heart that was too guarded for you to let even him in yet. And that was ok with him. For now, he’d just chalk it up to some desire on an instinctual level. It was just something that made you tick, and it became something he did for you from time to time when you needed that extra level of care.
This evening, the two of you had been watching some movie. To be honest, Leon didn’t even remember what it was called at this point because he didn’t really wanna watch it in the first place. He was much more interested in you. You had just started it up as he arrived home from running some errands though, so he didn’t want to be rude and ask you to shut it off just because he was horny. Instead, he flopped down next to you on the couch. 
A small laugh bubbles from your lips as he pulls you to him and kisses down the side of your face, murmuring for you to explain what’s going on in the thing you were watching. You ramble on about the story, telling him that it’s the end of the world and these guys are trapped in this house, and that one is friends with that one but hates the other one, and blah blah blah. He loved you to death, but he just couldn’t care less about that right now. He hums along with a stream alternating between  “mhm” and “oh yeah.”
Your laughter increases as his kisses become more distracting. He nips at the skin of your throat and litters your soft skin with love bites. His tongue laves at your neck as his nose coasts over your flesh. After a while, your own interest in the movie begins to dwindle. You turn your head and plant some smooches on his face, enticing him to tilt his head upwards. The two of you meet in the middle, connecting your lips.
Mouths move in sync, tongues brush each other, and soon enough, your seat’s been abandoned in favor of your true favorite spot. You’re parked on his lap, the lush flesh of your ass flush against his semi-hard bulge. His hand slithers up your back underneath your shirt to rub up and down your spine while pulling you closer. Your breathing gets heavier, and you’re practically panting when you two finally pull away for a break. Your lips are wet with spit and a little puffy from making out. He drags his thumb over your bottom one as he smirks at your glazed eyes.
“Think you’d be ok with finishing this later?” he asks.
To his pleasure, you’re quick to accept the offer with a nod. “Seen it before anyways,” you admit and lean back in for more kisses.
He chuckles into your mouth and boosts you up without even turning the tv off. He’s stumbling to the bedroom, and you’re latched onto him like a little spidermonkey or something. He knew well by now that being carried took your brain to that sweet spot of utter submission, but today you were on something else entirely. You were getting whiny between kisses. He was having to support you extra because your hands were trying to slide in between the two of you and get at his pants. He assumed it was cause he got you riled up before picking you up, but he didn’t lament about it too much. He wasn’t thinking with his head right now.
All your squirming around nearly made him trip and topple the both of you to the ground. He grunts and shifts you around, trying to get you to settle down at least till you reach the bedroom. You wouldn’t let up though, continuing on with your impatient hip rocking and greedy fingers. He’s sure he’s about to fall over and one of you is moments away from serious injury, so he totters a few steps over and secures you against the wall.
“Jesus, you’d think I’d just got back from a war or something,” he breathes.
You laugh, but keep up your neediness. “Just want you so bad. Missed my daddy all day,” you murmur.
“Yeah? I know it’s hard being away from me. Your little head’s just not cut out for all that thinking is it?” he coos condescendingly, “This is how you're meant to be, just attached to daddy, letting him take care of everything while you tag along.”
“Mhm,” you nod and kiss him again. He can feel you smiling against his lips.
“Yeah, so how bout you do me a favor then and stop wriggling around so much. You wanna get dropped on your head so thinking isn’t even an option anymore?” he teases.
“No. I just…” you whimper defensively. A smile spreads across your face as you hide your face at the base of his neck. “I just want you… really bad.”
That was a tone Leon knew well by now. That was the tone of the guessing game. It was the voice you used when you wanted something but were too shy to just ask for it. So Leon had to decipher your signals and figure out what that thing was. Luckily, this time around it was pretty simple.
“Really bad? Like pinned down in the middle of the hallway while I’m stuffing you full of cum bad?” he asks.
“Sorta…” you say.
With an amused shake of his head, he thinks a little more. The stuffed full of cum thing was a given. So what was off? He was thinking through this as if searching for a missing puzzle piece. He runs through different scenarios before it clicks. He laughs a little. It was kind of obvious once he had it.
“Oh, of course not. There’s no way you’d choose to be out of my arms. What was I thinking?” he says, exaggerating his cadence, “So you want it standing?”
You nod, and with the right answer, that little smile feels so much sweeter. He leans harder into you, keeping you by pressing you between him and the wall. Giving you a few messy kisses, he finally undoes his pants and pushes them down to his mid-thigh. He was fully hard now. You could feel it as he rolled his hips against your center.
“Lucky you’re wearing a skirt, nice and easy for me,” he hums.
He bunches up the fabric around your waist before dragging his fingers over your panties, feeling how they were damp. He smirks against your lips while applying more pressure, seeking out your swollen clit.
“Already so wet, baby,” he chides, “Is this how you get while I’m not with you? Can’t think of anything but daddy cause your pretty pussy’s just crying for some more attention.”
“Yeah, need you to make the ache go away,” you say in a breathy whimper.
“I know you do,” he coos.
It’s a bit difficult in this position, but Leon manages to remove the last barriers of cloth separating the two of you. He lines up his dick with your entrance and slides home. Now it’s his head that falls on your shoulder as he groans. His stance didn’t really allow him to ease in. He was balls deep in the first stroke. You let out a long satisfied moan.
Taking a moment to readjust, he gets his elbows hooked under the bends of your knees. You’re basically bent in half, his cock to your cervix. This angle felt even deeper too. Your walls pulse around him as you work to accommodate the length.
“That’s it, pretty girl. Every part of you clings to me,” he grunts before taking a step away from the wall.
Losing the stability behind your back had you rocking and shifting more, causing his tip to nudge against all those sweet spots. Your thighs quiver as Leon gets into a rhythm and figures out how to bounce you on his cock like his. The sound of your skin meeting floats down the hallway. You whine and whimper, your eyes roll back as your head tilts the same direction.
He could tell you were loving it. Your favorite place to be combined with your favorite feeling in the entire world. There was nothing his sweet girl loved more than being stuffed full of cock and held by him.
“Feeling good, princess? Is daddy fucking you just how you wanted?” he asks.
“Mhm, mhm, mhm,” you whimper and nod dumbly.
“Good,” he says. He focuses on working himself in and out of you. His mind is locked on the sensation of your slick coating his shaft and collecting at the base, dripping down to his balls. But more words fill his mind and rush to his mouth to be let out. “This is why you’re so needy, right baby? You just need some cock in you or you get so frustrated. Can’t even think straight without your fill, can you?”
You shake your head wildly. Your legs tense over his arms. His hands dig into your back to keep you supported. You see his biceps flexing beneath his sleeves as he uses his strength to hold you up. He rocks you on his cock, back and forth, sliding himself in and out. You’re gasping and trembling more noticeably now. He knows you’re approaching the peak.
“Doing so good for me, precious,” he murmurs, “Keep squeezing me like that so I can fill you up just how you need.”
Your noises become more desperate. It feels as though you get even tighter. Leon slams into you deeper than you could remember. But then again, in this state, your memory wasn’t worth much. Pumping in and out, he sees your eyes squeeze show, your mouth widening into that cute familiar shape it always made when you came.
“Go ahead, baby. Make a mess for daddy,” he groans.
You do as he says, following your orders. You seize up and moan, long and loud. He tightens his grip and takes a step closer to the wall to ensure your high isn’t cut by falling. His hips don’t stop though. He feels that tensing in his belly. Gritting his teeth, he pounds you over and over until he has to stumble back to the wall.
You hit the surface with a thud, but he’s a little too busy to notice. He growls and whimpers into your neck, hips working at a more strained pace as he tries to grab that brief euphoria. A few thrusts later and release is washing over him. He fucks you full, going deep and staying true to his word about filling you up. He pumps every last drop in.
You slowly slide down in his arms till he lets go of your legs and your feet can touch the ground again. Looking up at him as he comes down, you watch his features melt into the relaxation of post-release. You lean up and press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. His eyes open and look down at you. A lazy smile spreads on his face and moves in to return the gesture.
“So how’d I do?” he asks with that smug look you loved so much.
“Perfect like always,” you answer, genuine in contrast to his teasing. You step forward on wobbly legs, grabbing his hand to finish your trip to the bedroom together. He leans down and smacks a kiss on your neck.
“Clearly not perfect enough if you’re walking on your own now,” he purrs in your ear.
You smile and look down. “There’s still time to fix that,” you offer.
“Of course there is,” he agrees with a light swat to your ass. He pecks your lips once more before following you through the entryway to your shared room.
1K notes · View notes
visenyaism · 7 months ago
Text
jaehaerys administration dashboard simulator
🫧maidenpooled Follow
listen i know all kingsguard are bastards but jonquil darke put a cigarette out on me. i think i huave shivers
♟️redwhine
ok bootlicker. you know what she did
🫧maidenpooled Follow
boots not the only thing id lick
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🌸queencrowned Follow
this could literally be me and my brother if it weren't for my bitch mom trying to send me to the other side of the fucking continent
🍒saerious
GIRL STAND UP
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🤎bowlofbrown
doctrine of exceptionalism meatriders when someone asks them why 75% of dragonstone is blonde and me and half of flea bottom have gleaming amethyst eyes and/or beautiful delicate cheekbones
🥀maegorwife Follow
that's different...targaryens are literally divinely ordained by the seven to rule because they're stronger and better than us...that's why they have the dragons it is in their sanctified valyrian blood
🩸knifeinthedark
SO TRUE...THEY WANT TO ABOLISH THE RIGHT TO FIRST NIGHT BECAUSE OF WOKE. AND YET THEY STILL DO IT. BUT NO ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE OR THOSE GENDER-NEUTRAL DRAGONS WILL BURN YOUR KEEP DOWN
🤎bowlofbrown
cannot stand this fucking website. spending my last silver stag on tyroshi blue hair dye im not going to be associated with you people.
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🍒saerious
oh so when maegor has seven wives he’s “aegon’s true son” and “cool” but when i have three boyfriends suddenly im a “whore”
🫀lustywench Follow
op i support you but they did call him “the cruel” for that it was a very important part of the story that he was in fact maegor “the cruel”
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🌟sevenpointedstar
🌗maidensgrace
doing all of this with a FAITH OF THE SEVEN URL...girl you better pick a hell and start hoping
#bring back the faith militant
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❄️theythemderly
hey isn’t it weird that so many of the king’s children have suddenly and mysteriously died lately. under the care of the maesters. what if they’re planning something…,
🕯️glasscandled
ugh i wish🙄 speed that shit up fr
🥵ullerscorpion
likes charge reblog cast
😈themarcherrrrrr-deactivated5699
me when im in a being dead combination and my opponents are jaehaerys' whole army of childraeyn of the corn
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🙌fleabottomtop
yoooooooo theyre quarrelling again.
🙌fleabottomtop
alysanne targaryen if you're reading this i could change your life just give me one chance let me hit
🙌fleabottomtop
there are gold cloaks outside of my house
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⚔️errantmaid Follow
kingsguard dick is good as fuck when you don't have a motherfucker in your ear saying it violates a sacred vow made in the eyes of the king and the seven😜
⚔️errantmaid Follow
the king chopped it off and sent him to the wall i fucking hate this place can't have SHIT in king's landing
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🏵️floriansjonquil
hey has anyone seen princess gael. it's been literal months and she seems to have up and disappeared with no official announcement from the palace? would be the third female relative to go missing in the king's custody after aerea and saera....
🐝beeeeeeeeeeeeesbury Follow
damn that's crazy. im sure shes fine though anyways i'm a big fan of this new road the king built theres a lot of nice new roads does anyone else like the roads
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🐦‍⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow
day 18262 of not fighting the brackens. this is boring as fuckkkkk what am i supposed to do. pretend to care about the triarchy?
🐎brackennation
kill yourself
🐦‍⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow
192.158.1.38. doxxed. get your dumbfuck horse breeder knights ready because our strongest and noblest raven warriors are on the way to your nasty ass keep right now bitch
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cheesus-doodles · 4 months ago
Text
Letters
Yandere Rollo
Masterlist | TWST Masterlist
i like my repressed christian boys a lot if yall can't tell ;-;, couldn't pass up on this....tr will be back on schedule next!
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Rollo Flamme never imagined himself as simply ordinary. He had always been destined to be extraordinary, committed and focused, willing to put in the work to achieve perfection. Yes, there was no doubt that there were ways to go to meet his goals, seeing as his fire lily plan went up in flames on first contact with that wretched Malleus Draconia and his Night Raven buddies despite his months of meticulous planning and careful scheming.
Yet here he was, walking at a speed Rollo hoped didn’t divulge how fast his heart was pounding away, your letter carefully tucked away deep within his robes, pressed right up against his chest. Green eyes concentrated on nothing but his next step, his poker-face and overall reputation as the Student Council President a god-sent for keeping unwanted attention away as he cut a path through the school towards his room, hands clasped in front of him as they always were. 
Outside the gates of Noble Bell College, Fleur City was as lively as ever, the hustle and bustle of a city coming back to life under the gentle evening sun echoed throughout the conversely silent campus as people enjoyed busking in the remaining sunlight after a long day of work. It was an exceptionally cool day too, the white-haired boy noted to himself, the breeze sweeping down the hallways and bursting forth into the open air strong enough to lift the ends of his robes.
A respectful mumble of “Rollo-kaicho” rose from the scatter of students milling around as he walked past, though nothing that a returned nod of acknowledgement couldn’t settle.
The peacefulness that blanketed the stately campus as the sun sank further and further down the horizon reminded him much of the night of the Young Mage’s Social ball, and more so, you. Rollo could recall that particular evening with perfect clarity, the sights and sounds replaying again in his head as the purple-clad mage made his way indoors, the old wooden door swinging shut behind him with nay a creak, shutting out both the wind and the sounds of the city.
His own footsteps were the only sound ringing across otherwise empty corridors as the boy turned the situation he had found himself unexpectedly stuck in over and over again in his mind. It had never been his intention to fall over his own set trap, yet how was it he did so anyway despite all his wariness and discipline?
This had all begun as a plot for revenge right after he had been bested, by villains no less. It would be hard for Rollo to even admit that he had come to terms with the beating he received several months ago, let alone the night after it happened, and his next plot had already begun to hatch the moment you swept into view dressed in your masquerade costume, accompanied by none other than Malleus himself. From everything he witnessed, it was clear that the Draconia housewarden cared greatly for you, and dare he guess, maybe even had some unexpressed feelings for you. 
Not that he hadn’t noticed you before that night, but it was certainly the first time that he had come to realize just how central a place you held among the Night Raven College students, and how crucial a card you would be in his next plan to wipe that smug smirk off of that wretched fae prince’s face.
The night of the Young Mages’ Social ball had been surprisingly ordinary, given what had just happened. He had been exhausted and dead on his feet, even if he showed no sign of it outwardly; the orderliness of the hall that he painstakingly cleaned after the last fire lotus had withered was a welcomed sight. Alas there was no time for sleep, not that it would matter given his already heavy eyebags. But despite his state, you had instantly caught his eye at the start of the ball, quietly huddled towards the back of the Night Raven group, trying your best to look anywhere but at him or at the rest of the crowd as you and your friends were singled out as the saviors of Fleur City. And it was obvious that you were feeling even more out-of-place as the dance began in earnest, though whether it was from the crowds or just general awkwardness, Rollo could not say.
Taking his leave from the merrymaking, the white-haired Council President could find no surprise within him when he found you sitting alone later outside of the hall, enjoying the peace and quiet that had fallen over the city with the arrival of night, looking up at the blanket of stars, a glass of what looked like juice in your hand.
“May I join you?”
You had jumped at his words, though you did settle quickly upon realizing it was just him for reasons unbeknownst to Rollo. “By all means,” you replied, waving him down to join you. After all, he did just try to essentially kill your friends and all mages in general. Perhaps you knew something he didn’t, the purple-clad student mused to himself, subtly watching you from the corner of his pale green eyes. Or perhaps you were just presumptuous, given you hadn’t been affected as badly as the rest.
The dark sky was clear of clouds, the dark of space dotted with twinkles as far as the eye could see, the moon hanging alone amidst the barren sky; an alluring sight for weary souls - and judging from how discreetly you had excused yourself from the social, you definitely were tired. 
A pause as Rollo took a seat a respectful distance from you. “Too much?”
You nodded. “Too much.”
Whatever it was, you seemingly held no ill will towards Rollo, simply accepting his quiet company. And so the two of you sat in comfortable silence as the young mages danced and laughed the night away just a stone’s throw away. The minutes melted into hours as the world continued to turn, though the calmness of the reality around him was a far cry from the turmoil of thoughts within his head. 
When the night started to grow old and the cacophony of noises began to die down, it was as if an unheard bell had gone off, and you reluctantly stood, empty glass now in hand - your friends were bound to come looking for you should they notice you were missing. And with you leaving soon and that night being the last one you were spending at Noble Bell College, it was finally time to launch the first phase of his plan.
”I would like to write to you,” Rollo started, immediately cringing internally as the words left his lips, but there was no going back now. “If it is alright with you.”
He held his breath as you considered his request, your head cocking to the side as you contemplated. “Sure, why not?” You shrugged, shooting him a light smile, your hair gleaming in the waning moonlight. “Goodnight, Rollo.”
Exhale. And that was that.
But now here he was, Rollo mused, eagerly anticipating the opportunity to read your letter alone. Has his plan gone astray? He shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts of you, just till he could be alone. For all his routine and self-discipline, you were the one temptation he couldn’t seem to get squash down.
Coming to a pause at the fork in the hallway, the Noble Bell Council President paused. The last thing he wanted was to be interrupted tonight in the midst of his much-needed analysis of your letter, so against the burning desires of his heart and the weight of your letter heavy in his robes, he forced himself to take a detour, his feet carrying him down sparse corridors towards the councilrooms. It was easy to spot his Vice President still hard at work amidst the otherwise empty room, scouring through a stack of papers at his desk, head down and pen scribbling away.
A quiet clearing of his throat was enough to get the attention of the occupant inside. “Rollo-kaicho!” Said student rocketed up from his seat, hurriedly adjusting his slipping striped cap. “What brings you here at this time of day?”
“I wanted to check in before I retired for the day,” replied the white-haired boy, giving a courteous glance to the rest of the unoccupied desks before returning his gaze to the other. “Is there anything I should know about?”
The Noble Bell Vice President stuttered for a moment, lost for words and wrecking his tired brain in an attempt to find what to say. “I-uh-“
Pulling out his celestial-patterned handkerchief, his movement just barely managed to cover the disgusted look that fell over his expression, eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing as the stench of magic overwhelmed his senses, though Rollo still managed to keep his tone neutral. Even if he was the one to initiate contact, that hardly made a difference with his nausea. “It’s fine,” the magic-adverse mage managed to grit out without a hint of distaste, his tone as neutral as it always has been. “Please have the points ready for me tomorrow morning.”
“Of course, Rollo-kaicho. I apologize again.”
Finally being able to lock his room door behind him brought a relief much like cold water over hot iron, ending the depraved pulsing in his mind that the mere presence of the envelope in his robes against his chest brought on with every passing second. Tossing the heinous paper carelessly onto his well-worn table top, Rollo instead hurriedly picked it back up again, pale green eyes scanning for any further damage he had caused, though fortunately there was none to be found.
Letting out a sigh of relief, the white-haired boy settled into his chair. Now, to satisfy both his curiosity and anticipation.
Trembling fingers carefully peeled open the envelope, revealing a slightly yellowed, unevenly folded paper much to Rollo’s chagrin - he would have much preferred if you used a perfect white piece of paper, quality stationery instead of this random piece you must have had left over from your homework, and if you had folded it the same way he did all this time. But he supposed he couldn’t expect that high a standard from you, given the riff-raff of mages you found yourself in the company of. As he gently freed your letter from its paper enclosure, his sensitive nose caught a whiff of a familiar scent, the smell probably having lingered on from when you first mailed it out.
The light fragrance of your favorite shampoo, Rollo deduced, bringing the paper up to his nose. He recognized it, no matter how faint it was. You must have just finished showering when you wrote and sealed the letter if the aroma still endured. A breath of fresh air amidst the rank odor of magic and mages.
And then he began to read.
Dear Rollo, the letter began as it always did, those two words enough to have his heart skip a beat like nothing else could. But this time, the next few that followed were even better. Your letter came late, and it was sorely missed.
Line by line, you spelled out your daily ongoings, your interactions with your fellow schoolmates, your inner thoughts. Rambling about anything and everything that came to mind, thoughts spilling out without filter straight onto paper. About how Grimm (that filthy magic cat) nearly failed his test again and about how Deuce and Ace got into their latest spat of trouble with their housewarden Riddle. About how Jack and Epel were like to work with on your history project, and how you felt about one of your lunches being stolen by Leona.
Just like that, the minutes slipped through his finger, and with a pang in his heart, Rollo came to the end of your letter.
He placed the paper down on the paper, taking a breath.
How was it that he could feel so attached to another person through a simple piece of paper? How did you ensnare him so effortlessly, bypassing his hard-fought discipline as if it didn’t exist? Did all this mean that his revenge plot against Malleus had already gone awry?
The night was cool and quiet, the moonlight that shone through his stained glass windows bringing the Noble Bell Council President back to that fateful night. A light gust of wind seeped in through a small crack, creaking the old wooden panels in the floor as it blew through his room. 
Your writing had improved, Rollo noted, as per his guidance in his previous letter. You were using a ruler to ensure straight lines, and your handwriting had neaten greatly; a far cry from your first reply to him, the memory of those scrawling letters that ran up and done and every-which way except straight across the paper still causing shivers to run down his spine. That was bad.
Carefully and painstakingly refolding the paper, Rollo stood, returning it to its envelope before moving to stow the letter within his secret compartment above the fireplace, with previous letters neatly arranged upright according to date received. His fingers lightly brushed past all your correspondence with him, his chest fluttering at your willingness to speak with him, his mind already churning with how and what he should reply to you. Would you be interested in perhaps coming back to Noble Bell? Maybe he should visit Night Raven College? Even if that blasted Draconia was there, it would be worth it just to have some private, personal time with you, the white-haired mage calculated, his hand tapping an unknown rhythm across his desk that he now leaned against.
There was no point in denying his obsession with you, not at this point - it had been awhile since you started to occupy his every waking moment and thoughts, and being as organized and detailed as Rollo was, he could pinpoint the exact moment when he began to spiral. Sure, his first letter had been full of nothings, meaningless pleasantries and stories that he polished to perfection over the course of a night of restlessness. But what he got back was your heart on your sleeve, your mind like an open book for him to pick apart and examine.
As things turned out, the more he picked, the more he found. Questions he sent always came back answered, with you evidently letting slip more than you intended to originally say, sometimes directly and sometimes when he read between the lines. 
A single line in your third reply to him was all it took to begin his unending slide. 
You were from a different world.
The more he sat on it, turning it around and round in his mind, the more his chest grew warm, and you began his center of focus. Even the mere passing pondering of what you were doing now was enough to grip Rollo’s entire being, to have his heart rate increase and his thoughts to jumble. After all, in this foul, tainted world, there could be no purer person than someone who came from a place where no magic exists.
You were perfection embodied. 
In a twist of fate, you turned out to be pure, a shining beacon amidst the foul-smelling heathens. A gift from the heavens, a blessings from the divine meant for none other than him, that no one could properly appreciate except for him. Sure you weren’t the most orderly, and you did have your moments where you were occasionally wowed by magic, especially the inhuman feats from that wretched Malleus Draconia, but you remained untainted despite your constant proximity to the taint of magic that surrounded and cloaked you as if a heavy fog. Never indicated anything more than a passing interest in the magic that your companions wielded and an admiration that Rollo was sure he could rid you off. All you needed was time away from those mages, spent instead in his company.
Stepping away from his desk and moving now towards his personal bathroom, Rollo came to the answer he had been looking for as the boy moved to undress himself for a nighttime shower. It had been in front of him all this time.
The answer was no. 
No, he hadn’t forsaken his plan to wield you against Malleus; sure the exact details had changed as the months went by, but everything he did was as he had schemed. Just that now, you didn’t have to be a means to an end, you didn’t need to be just another casualty wrecked up amidst his crusade against the villains. Stealing you away from the fae prince would be one of the largest blows he could deal with to that condescending prick, the beginning of his downfall - the excitement tingling at Rollo’s arms as he imagined the crestfallen expression that would twist Draconia’s face, the streak-free bathroom mirror reflecting the pale green eyes that lighted up in callous pleasure.
It would be glorious.
But for now, Rollo determined, schooling his face back into its usual neutral look as he turned to step into the shower room, what he needed to concentrate on was his next letter to you.
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woso-dreamzzz · 5 months ago
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Injured (Alexia's Version) V
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Summary: Alexia comes to ballet class
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For some reason, Alexia feels nervous.
She's played some big matches. She's won some big trophies. She's scored some big goals.
But none of those moments ever made her as nervous as she feels now.
Your ballet school had sent home a leaflet just last week about having a parent-child day where parents could join in on practice with their kids.
Alexia had signed herself up without thinking before the realisation had sunk in about what she had done.
She hadn't danced in years, not properly anyway and left it all behind to pursue football. She wasn't quite sure she still remembered how to do that style of dance, let alone your style of ballet.
But, still, she had signed up and the awestruck look on your face when she told you was worth it all.
"Alright mummies and daddies," The too-happy voice of your teacher exclaims," We're so excited to have you here with us today. Why don't you go and grab your little one and find a spot at one of the barres?"
The whole class is sitting cross legged on the floor and Alexia can pick you out easily with your favourite leotard and the little braid Olga had given you this morning.
Alexia smiles at you, gently taking your hand as you pull her over to the spot at the very end of the mirror, just like your preferred space at your barre back home.
"Alright boys and girls! Now, first position!"
Alexia knows that one. She's pretty sure she's one of the only parents that actually does because she shifts into position while others look around in confusion.
"And now, plié."
It's fairly simple stuff but Alexia's not surprised. You're still little but you're doing exceptionally well. She catches sight of your determined little face as you bob up and down.
This is one of the better ballet schools for younger kids. Back when you first started ballet, Alexia didn't really care where you went so Eli had organised it.
Alexia feels glad that her Mama spent so much time researching because now that she's started visiting and chatting to the other parents, she knows that some ballet 'schools' are barely schools for young children, not really focused on teaching them actual ballet like this one is.
Throughout this whole exercise, you remain composed and calm the entire time. You easily shift in and out of the positions you need to be in and your teacher has nothing but compliments for you whenever she comes past.
You smile brightens each time and Alexia has to stop herself from leaning down to give you kisses all over your face.
"Alright boys and girls! Water break!"
Your focused face disappears from your features as soon as the water break is called and you whirl around to look at Alexia.
"I..." You seem a bit nervous, shuffling your feet. "Are you having fun, Mami?"
Alexia crouches down in front of you, gently pushing away some flyaways from your face. "I'm having so much fun, bambi."
"Really? I know it's not football but-"
"I don't need football to have a fun time with you," Alexia assures you, a soft kiss being pressed against your forehead," Do you know what we're doing after this?"
You nod. "Floorwork," You say seriously," Floorwork and then cool down and then home time." You chew on your bottom lip for a moment before you shyly ask," Would you like to be my floorwork partner, Mami?"
Alexia smiles. "I'd love to."
Floorwork sounds more intimidating than it is. All it really boils down to is the class going in pairs one corner to the other doing things like skipping to the beat of the music.
Alexia supposes it's a bit like conditioning in a way and holds your hand nice and tight as you both skip from one end of the room to the other.
Nearer the end, the teacher switches to turns and Alexia's a little glad that she's not the only parent that makes a bit of a fool of themselves.
To her credit, she, at least, manages to stay on her feet which can't be said for one dad who trips over his own laces and nearly smashes his face into the floor.
"Well done today, boys and girls!" The teacher says as everyone packs up," And well done to mummies and daddies too! I'll see you all next week!"
Alexia keeps a grip on your hand, swinging your arms as she heads out to the car, packing it up with both of your bags and buckling you into your car seat.
"I had a lot of fun today, bambi," She tells you as she heads down the familiar road towards the house," It was very interesting to see what your classes are like."
"You did very well, Mami," You say earnestly, nodding your head," I wish parents could always been in my classes. It's more fun when there's grown ups."
Alexia laughs. "If there were always grown ups then you'd never get anything done! The mummies and daddies will keep falling over and the whole class will just be everyone laughing at us."
You shake your head. "I wouldn't laugh at your, Mami. Promise."
Alexia smiles at you in the rear view mirror.
"I'm glad, bambi."
There's silence for a moment and then," Do you want to practice at my barre at home? For when parents can come back to class?"
"That sounds perfect."
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neiptune · 1 year ago
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jjk characters x how to know they're in love
cw: mentions of alcohol, i wanted something quick and fun to write, as always this is nothing but my personal interpretation of characters i happen to love very much! i really hope these will warm you up on cold december nights :)
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it's common knowledge that yuuji is affection & warmth incarnated therefore the question is, how can you tell that someone like him has fallen for you and is not simply being his usual self? well, he had to learn the hard way that extra efforts are needed to convey what he feels for that special someone. they aren't going to assume, they won't guess, so what's left to do if not being absolutely adamant about his feelings? you will know yuuji is in love because he will tell you. yuuji, in turn, will know he's in love because his heart will disclose the feeling to him immediately, as soon as he starts thinking that a good day is not so good if you're not around and certainly never good enough if he can't tell you about it. his love resides in his eyes and nestles between his eyelashes, it's the one thing he's jealous of and selfishly hopes no one else will ever look at you and see just how brightly you shine. he makes the process of falling for him exceptionally gentle, too: you never once have to brace yourself for the landing because he would never allow you to crash to the ground anyway.
megumi knows the second he starts noticing all the times you're not there, which means he will stop taking for granted the mornings when you utter soft greetings or show up with an extra coffee for him. he knows when the fact that you have his order memorized feels special enough to make him want to investigate & find out what your order is, an entire afternoon spent racking his brain & asking himself if you enjoy milk or cream or nothing at all, exasperation forcing him to sternly interrogate mutual friends until a conclusion is reached at last. you will know megumi is in love when he stops hiding away from your touch, pretty blush coating his cheeks as the pads of your fingers explore his features, travel along the bridge of his nose or run through his strands. his love is strong, explodes in a chest that feels exceptionally hollow when you're not pressed against it at night. megumi thinks being in love is scary and something he may not be entirely built for and yet he welcomes the feeling bravely, never shying away from a challenge with himself.
it would take nobara some time to get accustomed to the idea of having fallen for you: she doesn't let people in easily and the fact that you have managed to reserve such a unique seat for the messy spectacle that is her life takes her breath away for quite some time. she knows she's in love as she rejects the idea right away, to protect herself and to protect you. what does she have to offer, really? why would you want to take whatever she has to give? still, nobara can't help but constantly bring the thought of you with her. she's shopping, busy paying for a cute sweater and oh, would you look at that? you'd love that shirt, so she gets it. she's at the movies with yuuji and a particularly disgusting scene comes up: he's in awe and, with a grimace, she knows you'd find that splatter mess cool too. so she has to snap a picture and send it, heart nearly bursting at the little "seen" that blinks at her just a few seconds after the message is sent. nobara's love is on her lips, as they tremble when she's at her most vulnerable, when they trace your jaw and explore your throat. you know she is in love way before she stops resisting it, way before she even realizes herself.
oh man satoru will know he's in love the literal second he feels the urge to talk to you. i know the man never shuts the fuck up but he'll want to really talk to you: he can't bear the thought of his reputation, fame, or whatever you want to call it, shaping the idea you have of him. he knows he's in love because he cares about what you actually think, he worries that his smart mouth has annoyed you beyond repair, for once he is desperate to sculpt his true identity himself and engrave it in your mind. you know satoru is in love when he speaks of what he doesn't mention to anyone else: his walls are not particularly high but he calls the shots on who gets to climb over them and he wants to welcome you on the true side of his persona so badly it keeps him awake at night. satoru's love lives in his hands, pale, lithe fingers that always have to be on you somehow. he touches you to make sure you're listening, to check if you're actually in his kitchen putting breakfast together. he touches you to memorize the spaces between your ribs, to wonder if between all the muscular layers and the neurovascular bundle there is room for him to take root in the body of the very first person he truly wants to stay alive for.
suguru is already all too familiar with love and its many facets: affection, devotion, loyalty, obedience. he's received a great deal of what he recognizes as love but hasn't really ever been in the position of reciprocating the feeling in its most raw, helpless form. yet, that is exactly what you reduce him to. he'll know he's in love when all he wants is truly, actually listen to you. learn all there is to learn, explore all there is to discover. you know suguru is in love when he stares at you so intently as you speak, not even interrupting the string of sentences to warn you about the tea he has prepared going cold, his own cup turned icy long ago. you know suguru is in love because he makes no secret of how avidly he craves your presence in his life, of the way for the very first time he prays it doesn't come with any deal breakers: is it okay that he has two young daughters? will the blood on his hands scare you off? the feeling of being in love conquers his entire being, selfish tenderness blossoming in his lungs, flowing relentlessly in blood vessels and vertebral arteries. you take over. you soothe his mind. you're all he feels, you're everything he'll ever want to have. tell him, tell him, tell him and then tell him some more: he'll be there to take you in every chance he gets.
to me shoko's approach to love is very analytical, she doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. she'll know she's in love because you prompt all the usual reactions: racing heart and occasional sweaty palms, happiness, the so-called butterflies in her tummy. but unfortunately she also knows the scientific details about what's really going on, which makes everything far less romantic. noradrenaline, dopamine, phenylethylamine. love isn't but a fairly complex chemical reaction, the feeling given by attraction doesn't differ much from what stems from indulging in a couple bottles of wine. and yet alcohol doesn't smile the way you do, the thought of it doesn't make her stop in the middle of a medical examination and it certainly doesn't make her want to go out of her way to change. shoko will know she's in love as the feeling plants itself in her altered brain chemistry and convinces her that her personality should follow suit. because you'd never want someone who seems so distant, always calm and rational and so... boring. right? you'll know shoko is in love because she makes the effort and she'll know you're the right match the moment you murmur that you'd never want her to change, to be anything but the powerful, familiar grounding force that makes her so graciously human.
nanami writes more when he's in love. he's always been a reader, never has enough time to explore all the books he keeps adding to his never ending list really, but he's also always been a writer: short stories, haikus, poems, single sentences that are nothing but timid attempts at encapsulating days, moments, feelings, nights spent thinking or reminiscing. you start to become part of those stories, of those messily scribbled poems and thoughts. this will sound very cheesy but i'm confident nanami's love settles over his heart like a warm blanket. he knows he's in love when everything he reads, writes, does, leads back to you. what good are his cooking skills if he can't make you your favorite dinner? why should he buy that book he's been waiting forever to start, if there's this other novel you can't stop excitedly telling him about? did his writings ever hold any value before he could go through the pages of one of his leather bound notebooks, you comfortably settled in his arms, back pressed to his chest on the couch he only bought because you jokingly said it could accommodate you both? you know he's in love because softness settles in the corners of his eyes whenever you utter his name, an elegant fountain pen frozen mid air at the sound of your voice, the simple word kento suddenly earning a whole new meaning, always pronounced with an inflection so special it's now more than just his name.
yuuta feels a lot and he feels it deeply: fear, courage, affection. his feelings clutch his stomach and make him feel as if his insides are being squeezed. he doesn't appreciate newness, he's perfectly content with the people who are part of his life and a routine that doesn't make him wonder what the new day will bring. but then you happen and the boy who thought he knew everything is left to learn something new about himself: how he navigates a love that is real, pulsing with life, threatening to overturn his carefully built balance. he welcomes it tentatively, willing to learn, accepting the chance that he might have to confront it. but love doesn't turn out to be a challenge for him. yuuta knows he's in love because it's the first thing that feels easy in his life, to love you is the one thing that comes naturally. you know he's in love because he doesn't attempt to hide it and, hell, he doesn't even care if love makes him weird. he wants you there always, wants to ask about your day and hopes you'll also going to be interested in his. yuuta wants to pose silly questions because you're the first real person he needs to learn everything about. have you ever slow danced? how often do you experience food poisoning? what's your favorite song to sing in the shower? it's okay if you don't love him back too (as if lmfao), you have already given him everything by allowing him to find out that he can feel this way.
as a heavily stubborn & independent person, maki would understand right away that you're dangerous. a threat, even. she'd interally panic about it lol too bad you're equally strong-willed and determined to break through that standoffish facade. you succeed earlier than expected but maki won't let you know until months later, the first christmas holidays spent together, yuuta's house warming party the perfect excuse to indulge in a little too much mulled wine. you find out that maki's love is all in her voice, sincere affection vibrates along the entire story of your first encounter recounted to a table filled with your mutual friends in great, borderline obsessive detail. she remembers your hair, the outfit you were wearing, that cute tote bag filled with groceries. her voice is warm and tender when no one else can hear it, on the frosty mornings she orders to forget about cooking breakfast to keep you in bed a few minutes more, in secret moments she gets to hold you close and murmur sweet nothings in the curve of your neck, pauses between words and stifled giggles sounding suspiciously similar to i love you, i love you, i love you.
inumaki's love lives in his throat, torments him day and night because there's nothing he would rather speak of. you, you, you. he was always worried he'd fail to express how he truly feels but you happen to get it just right. not just because he makes significant exceptions for you (sorry but the man will speak and his dumbass sense of humor will cause a sore throat endless times) (yes he has used his cursed technique to ask you to stand still while in compromising positions or to give him a kiss after a stupid argument -> you'll do so and then smack his arm as he sticks his tongue out) but most importantly because the limited communication inumaki has been used to ever since forever also forced him to learn how to get the message across differently. and so you know he's in love because he makes sure you have your cup of tea ready in the morning, because he texts you pictures of stray cats or memes he doesn't really understand with a demanding '???' underneath them. you know inumaki is in love because his friends seem to know a whole lot about you and it's only the first time you're meeting most of them. he knows he's in love when you fall asleep next to him and his pointer finger delicately traces the echo of those three words along your spine over and over and over again.
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emphistic · 6 months ago
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Forget-me-nots
A/N: call me Nick Cannon the way im out here rawdogging this fever
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“Hey, babe,” you said, catching Sukuna by surprise. You placed your hands on the back of his gaming chair, “I’m gonna go on a walk. D’you wanna come with?”
“I’d rather go for a run, but God knows your slow ass wouldn’t be able to keep up.” Sukuna removed his headset and placed it on his desk, before following you out of the room.
If he had kept his headset on for just a little longer, Sukuna would’ve heard the protests and complaints of Gojo. The white-haired man was utterly disappointed at Sukuna for leaving in the middle of a game, who was going to carry him now that Sukuna was gone?
Sukuna looked you up and down, watching you as you put on your shoes, and let out a scoff, getting your attention. “You’re forgetting something.”
You met his gaze, “Uh huh, go on.”
“A jacket, dumbass. A jacket.”
You waved your hand around, dismissing his suggestion. “Don’t be silly, Sukuna. It doesn’t go with my outfit.”
“That so?” He raised a brow.
“Mhm.”
“It’s literally dark out, babe. Who are you trying to impress?”
The two of you continued on your way out of the complex without putting an end to your usual lighthearted banter. The sky was clear of clouds when you made it past the front doors; and cool air immediately hit your skin. Okay, maybe Sukuna wasn’t wrong in reminding you to layer up.
But, despite his demeanor on the exterior, Sukuna was far from cloud nine. Was that selfish of him? To truly have everything, and yet, still want more? He managed to get himself a loving girlfriend, not to mention, one that was exceptionally beautiful, both on the inside and outside. He should be content; he should be satisfied. But how could he? When guilt gnawed at him every second, every minute, every hour?
Sukuna was afraid, deathly. 
He could tell you about the bet, but it was inevitable that you would leave him right after. Or, he could choose to keep silent about the bet for the rest of his life. But that would mean Naoya Zen’in having a leg up on him, and that was no good.
Sukuna couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at your face, admiring your elated expression. He liked the sound of your voice, and hearing you laugh. The thought of you being gone plagued his mind, and he knew he would be a dead man walking if that nightmare became true.
Things truly could not be worse for the pink-haired man, who felt utterly pathetic. He felt vulnerable, and weak. Completely opposite of the image most people portrayed him as. Which is quite amusing, to say the least.
Sukuna was at a crossroad, but it was clear he wasn’t choosing either path. Maybe it was the worst choice, maybe it was the best choice, but Sukuna knew that doing nothing was probably the most impactful choice, and so he decided to let God play out his fate, leaving him to wait day and night, never knowing when you would find out and his world would flip upside down.
To bet something is to “risk something, usually a sum of money, against someone else’s on the basis of the outcome of a future event, such as the result of a race or game.” Sukuna knew that, when he was drunk at that damned party. Sukuna knew that, when he signed up for this. Sukuna knew; he wasn’t stupid; he was a grown man. And yet, he had never felt so little.
“—Nobara was telling me, after the party, about my . . . complexion, or, I don’t know. My skin was apparently glowing—”
“Are you a virgin or something?” Sukuna cut you off with a laugh, turning to look at you. And, not that he had any knowledge in the field, but, with the way your hair blew ever so slightly in the wind, and with the way the moonlight casted upon your face, illuminating your best features, you looked just like a cinematic masterpiece.
You gave him a pointed look, as if to say, You would know, and again, Sukuna laughed.
“It’s called afterglow, babe. Science-y stuff, I figured you would already know, but I guess not.”
“Can you go one second without being rude?”
“You’re funny; don’t get your hopes up too high,” Sukuna ruffled your hair as you both continued down the dimly lit street.
It was a quiet, peaceful night. There would usually be something happening a block away, maybe sirens in the distance, kids playing around and screaming, but there was not. Maybe that was a blessing, maybe that was a curse, but it left you and Sukuna both to your own thoughts, and that was comforting enough.
“Is everything okay? Did you have a long day?” you asked, breaking the overwhelming silence. You turned to look at Sukuna with worry written all over your expression.
Sukuna had been tense ever since he got home, like a heavy weight had been placed upon his shoulders. You thought it strange; your boyfriend was a carefree man. He was easygoing and laid back; he knew how to start up a conversation, get everyone’s mood up, but this. . . This wasn’t Sukuna.
Whenever you two went on walks or runs together, sure, there’s a silence, but it was never like. . . Like something was wrong. It was never like this.
“Hm? No, I’m fine. I just have a lot to think about, that’s all. Don’t worry for me, ‘kay?” Sukuna gave you a smile, but it only tightened the knot in your chest, your concern doing the opposite of diminishing.
Truth was, you didn’t know what to think. And if you had to be honest, you couldn’t say your mind hadn’t wandered to the idea of Sukuna being unsatisfied with your relationship. Was he upset with you? Did he think you too much? You shuddered just thinking about it.
Unbeknownst to you, Sukuna watched as your eyebrows furrowed, and you chewed at your bottom lip. It was a habit of yours — the latter, and Sukuna noticed you only gave in to it whenever you were anxious or deep in thought.
“Hey, I was thinking, how about we go out sometime?” asked Sukuna, out of the blue. 
You two hadn’t been on a date since the baseball game, and that was a while ago. Sukuna missed spending an entire day with you, and was desperate for something fun to take his mind off of the bet.
“You make it sound like we haven’t even kissed yet,” you covered your mouth, trying, but failing, to stifle a giggle.
“What else did you want me to say, huh?” Sukuna humored you, mentally patting himself on the back for managing to lift the tension.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe something like, ‘Do you want to—,’ actually, I have no idea. How do you ask someone on a not-first date?”
“That’s a good question,” Sukuna added. “Now that I think of it, I’m not sure.”
“Eh, whatever. Any other way is totally better than yours.”
“Now who’s the rude one, hm? Do you want to go on that date or what?”
You laughed, “I’m only teasing, ‘Kuna. Of course I do; I don’t even know why you’re asking.”
“It’s polite.”
“You? Polite? Hilarious.” You placed a hand on Sukuna’s arm, but he pulled away, feigning to be hurt by your words. But you knew he was just trying to joke around.
“Awh, baby, don’t be sad. How can I make it up to my handsome, handsome boyfriend?”
“You can’t.” Sukuna turned his head away from you, hiding his grin.
You didn’t take no for an answer, and stood on your tiptoes in order to plant a wet kiss on Sukuna’s cheek, even going as far to voice a Mwah! sound.
When Sukuna still didn’t look at you, you started to wonder if he was genuinely upset. But when he abruptly turned around to smash his lips on yours, all other thoughts in your head completely vanished and you melted in his arms. Placing your hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around your waist, you kissed him back just as fervently.
One of Sukuna’s hands wandered down your middle to the small of your back and rested just above your behind.
With your boyfriend’s lips on yours, his arms wrapped tightly around you, and his murmuring of sweet nothings every now and then, all previous worries and concerns of yours were no match. Maybe everything was fine, after all.
-
“You look good,” Sukuna said, a sultry look in his eyes as he shamelessly checked you out.
You couldn’t help the heat rising to your cheeks, “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”
He shrugged, “I try.”
“So, where are we headed?” You asked, immediately after entering your boyfriend’s car.
Sukuna hadn’t told you anything since he asked you out. Only thing he said was, “Look pretty for me, like you always do, and bring a jacket or something.” But since he knew there was no way in hell you were going to listen to that last bit, he already knew he was giving you his hoodie if you needed it.
“Ah, you wouldn’t know,” said Sukuna, as he started driving down the road.
“Oh, yeah? What, you gonna drive me to a secluded area and chop off my head or something? Is that why you’re being so lowkey about all of this?”
“Would you like that?” Sukuna quipped, turning to look at you as he pulled up to a red light.
You laughed, “I don’t know; I haven’t tried it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
It wasn’t long till Sukuna and you arrived at a crowded space overshadowed by the large buildings beside it. Said space was filled from corner to corner with food vendors and other small shops selling trinkets, clothes, toys, et cetera. There was music booming from speakers located all around, and the air smelled like a variety of food that had you salivating on the spot. Not to mention, the beautiful array of string lights above all the stalls, giving an authentic sense and feel to things.
Families, friends, couples, and individuals walked through the streets of the area. Carrying toys that lit up or made music with a simple click of a button, holding small paper plates stacked with food, bargaining prices of intricate garments, or simply conversing with their companions. The air was filled with the sounds of laughter, gossip, jokes, whispers.
The exciting, fun-filled atmosphere of the place was surely popular among its customers. And, even taking one look at it all, you knew you were bound to have endless entertainment and enjoyment here, tonight.
“What do you think?” Sukuna asked, noticing you had gone quiet. His voice was barely above a whisper, saddened by the idea of you hating it. He thought you might’ve liked something like this, that’s why he picked this place. But maybe his judgment was—
“It’s—I’ve never seen anything like this before. It’s beautiful, and the food smells amazing,” you smiled, looking at Sukuna.
Unbeknownst to you, the pink-haired man let out a sigh of relief upon hearing your answer.
“I used to go here all the time with Yuuji back when we were little; he loved the oyakodon. I don’t know if they still have the same one he preferred.”
“We should take a picture, babe. Make him jealous that we’re having a better dinner than him.”
Sukuna laughed, “You’re starting to sound like me. I think I’m rubbing off on you, squirt.”
“It’s only payback since he ate the last of my Häagen-Dazs. I was saving it,” you grumbled, still holding a grudge about the distant memory.
“Sure, sure.”
Sukuna snaked an arm around your waist, directing you to a red, striped stall. Smoke flying from the back of it as people fried and cooked and did whatever. “Jakoten?” he suggested.
“Obviously.”
If there was one thing you learned while being with Sukuna, it was that he was an eater. He wasn’t picky, no, quite the opposite, really. He could eat literally anything he got his hands on. Sukuna had a strict diet — being an athlete and all that — but he had his off days, where he could eat anything he pleased.
And, although you are a little less “wild” compared to him, you two often shared interest in the same dishes. Like jakoten, for example. But that’s a simple one, most people like it, so that’s not much good of an instance.
Sukuna and you waited near the front of the food stand, and when it was time and your order came out, Sukuna helped put a cupped hand under your chin, catching all of the tiny crumbs in his palm.
“Good, right?”
Your reply came muffled, as you chewed on the fried fish paste. “Mhm.”
“Where do you want to go next?” Jakoten was delicious, Sukuna couldn’t deny it, but you would be wrong if you thought that was enough to satisfy his hunger.
“Hm, we should go and see if they have tonkatsu. I’m kinda hungry for a main dish now.”
Together, you and Sukuna walked hand in hand around the people-filled space, seeking out different meals to try. Contrary to your main mission — finding a filling dish, you and Sukuna both had your fair share of small appetizers and sweet treats. When you two decided unanimously to find a table to sit down at and enjoy your dinner, you weren’t aware of how difficult of a journey that was.
To say the place was packed was an understatement, and most people didn’t even try to find seats, instead opting to stand and walk the whole time. After getting hundreds of steps in just to come out fruitless, you and Sukuna gave up on even the idea of sitting down.
“You know, I was thinking,” you began, while picking at the greens on your plate, “we should totally get a bowl of noodles, and recreate that scene from Lady and the Tramp.”
“We totally should not.” Sukuna shook his head, an unamused look on his face as he bit into a Japanese type of skewered chicken.
“C’mon, it’ll be cute. And, and, we would get to kiss,” you pursued.
“Is kissing you supposed to tempt me?”
“I—How dare you; you know what, don’t talk to me.” You turned away from a laughing Sukuna.
“Aw, sweetheart, I was just joking. ‘sides, who would pay for your food if you walked away from me?”
You turned back around.
Pleased with himself — having gotten your attention back, Sukuna gave a boyish smile, “That’s more like it,” before swinging an arm around your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your temple.
You squeezed your eyes shut at the feeling, “Don’t, ‘Kuna. You’re going to make me drop my food.”
“So cold. Your boyfriend’s giving you kisses and you tell him to stop? That’s a new low, even for you,” Sukuna feigned a hurt tone, but remained smiling all the while.
“Mm, yeah. Sulk all you want, you were the one who refused my kisses first. Don’t you dare forget.”
“You’re really never going to let that go, are you? Ah, I know, would this,” he pulled out a wad of cash, “change your mind?”
Sukuna had seen you eyeing a ramune-selling vendor ever since the both of you arrived. Of course, after being around you for so long, he was quick to learn that ramune was one of your weak spots. You were a fiend for anything sweet, after all. And the popular carbonated drink was perfect for the current weather.
Seeing your eyes widen to saucers, Sukuna knew he had won you over.
“Just, get me one, too, alright? You’re not the only thirsty person here.”
As you began to walk in the direction of the stand, Sukuna abruptly pulled you back, “Actually . . . they might have soju, so get me a cup of that instead. You know the kind I like.” And with that — and a final kiss to your cheek, Sukuna sent you off.
It didn’t take very long to acquire your drinks, as the line was pretty short seeing as most people were starting to leave the area considering the late time. On the other hand, it did take you a fairly drawn-out amount of time to find Sukuna. For he wasn’t in the same place he was before; Sukuna was now standing in a much more secluded area. And, he wasn’t alone, either.
The blond dude, who hosted that party, was standing in front of a very tense-looking Sukuna. To passersby and the naked eye, the two men might look like they were simply a pair of friends conversing. But to you, you noticed Sukuna’s clenched jaw. You noticed his arms, crossed over his chest. You noticed his eyes, usually holding a light to them, were dark, and Sukuna was glowering.
You assumed they started talking a little while after you left Sukuna to go shopping, and, as strong as your morals were, you couldn’t help but listen in to their conversation.
“—I’m surprised, I didn’t foresee a chance to meet you tonight, captain. And, another date? You’re really scoring, aren’t you? Though, I can’t say I expected less from the Ryomen.”
“Look, Zen’in, I told you — a million times, actually, I’m done playing this stupid game of yours. Grow up, or, better yet, find something else to entertain your fucked up brain.”
“Woah, didn’t mean to hit a nerve there. I was just about to ask — since we’re already here — if you wanted your cash now, or later. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your little date.” Naoya let out a low laugh, “You know, you’re really starting to drain my bank account. First kiss, two dates, and you fucked her? Man, you’ve outdone yourself.”
With each sentence that man spoke, your jaw only dropped lower and lower. Your chest tightened, and it felt unbearably suffocating to breathe. Tears threatened to spill at any second, but you still weren’t sure if Naoya was lying, and making all of this up. 
God, let this be just a nightmare.
Sukuna couldn’t have. . . Sukuna wouldn’t—he wouldn’t do something like that to you, right? He wouldn’t use someone, all for a silly bet.
Heat rose to your face, as emotions bottled up inside of you. You didn’t know how to feel. Angry? Sad? Betrayed?
When the blond noticed you standing only a few feet away, and snickered, “Whoops, looks like I am interrupting something.”
Naoya flashed you a fake smile, before turning back to Sukuna, “Take care, Ryomen.” He pressed multiple hundred dollar bills onto the pink-haired man’s hand, and took his leave.
Sukuna hadn’t noticed you before Naoya said something, and when he saw your face, hurt written all over your features, his eyes softened. He tried to take a step forward, but with every step he took, you took two backwards.
“Sukuna, I—I don’t even know what to say to you,” your voice cracked, and Sukuna swore his heart shattered right then and there at the look on your face. “Is it true? — the things he said?”
It pained Sukuna, to see you hold out hope. Hope for him. Hope for your relationship. He was undeserving of such grace to be bestowed upon him, and couldn’t say anything but, “I’m sorry.”
Your expression morphed into that of confusion, and then into one of frustration and anger. You couldn’t believe Sukuna just threw away everything you two had, shared, dreamed of, all for some money and a stupid bet.
“Was nothing we had real to you? Was everything just a big ole lie you fed me so that you could see some more zeros at the end of your already large enough fortune? . . .Sukuna, answer me.”
Your voice got softer as you spoke, till it was just above a whisper. Your breathing was uneven, and came in gasps. This was all too much for you to wrap your head around. 
“I trusted you, I gave you everything. You saw me vulnerable, you saw me naked, you . . . you—” You weren’t even aware when it started, but tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point, and even wiping them away with your sleeve didn’t help.
All the while, the man who brought you so much joy, and now, so much pain, could do nothing but stare back at you in silence. His eyes were empty, the light gone. The man you loved, gone. Sukuna didn’t try and defend his stupidity, he had no reason to. He was in the wrong, and was — rightfully so — being berated for his doings. Sukuna loved you, but pride was a much stronger feeling than love.
“I thought you changed, Sukuna. I thought you matured, and grew up, and learned, but . . . God, I was so wrong. You’re nothing different than the boy who tormented me in high school, aren’t you. But, I don’t understand. . . What did I do to you? What did I do for you to—to treat me like this? You willingly accepted to be paid to take me out?”
“Was I not enough for you, Ryomen? That you felt the need to be rewarded for staying with me?” Your voice was so, so soft; it sent a pang through Sukuna’s heart.
In your eyes, Sukuna now looked so different, after having learned what you did. He was really nothing but a man. A man whose pride and dignity and ego took the best, and worst, of him.
“I can’t believe I even trusted you. But, you know what, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what you think of me. It doesn’t matter what I did. Anything regarding you doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
You’re not sure what took over you at that very moment, but you do know that throwing a drink at a man does contribute to getting your emotions out. “There, you can have your soju, you can have your money, you can have whatever you want. Good bye, Ryomen. And good fucking night.”
You had no way home; Sukuna was the one who drove you two here, and you both knew that. But you didn’t care. As long as you got away from that man you would be okay. You would be okay. . .
At that very moment, after seeing you storm away from him, and into the crowds of people — who appeared shocked to see a woman with mascara running down her cheeks, — Sukuna understood the term ‘significant other’. He realized you were his other half. You completed him. But now. . . You were gone, disappeared, left — forever, if he didn’t do something about it. Sukuna wasn’t whole. Hell, he wasn’t even half. He was nothing, nothing without you.
It wasn’t like Sukuna to cry; he was a grown man. And yet, he had never felt so little.
As the days went on, Sukuna couldn’t have been more stupid as to think you would talk with him after a week’s time, and that everything would go back to normal. He wanted this to be a nightmare. But oh, how wrong he was. For days upon days upon days, you greeted him with nothing but silence.
You blocked him on all social media, you premeditated routes to avoid him on campus, you deleted his number, you did everything to erase the face of the man whom you called the love of your life from your mind. The both of you went from texting or calling each other almost every night to complete radio silence. It drove Sukuna to the brink of insanity.
-
“—I’m just saying, you should go tell her you’re sorry. I mean, that was a really fucked up thing to do. And, even coming from you, I’m surprised.” Yuuji popped another potato chip into his mouth as he lounged on his older brother’s sofa.
“Don’t you think I’ve done that already? She hates my guts, Yuuji, and—and I don’t blame her but. . . Right now, she thinks I’m a dickhead who just used her for money. But that’s totally not true.”
Yuuji raised a brow, as if to say, Are you sure about that? And Sukuna sighed, plopping down beside his brother.
“Okay, I’ll admit, I technically was using her, but only at the very beginning, but everything after our first phone call was real, genuine. I didn’t get into this whole bet thing to hurt her, I was just trying to prove Naoya’s bitchass wrong and maybe make his wallet lighter at the same time. . . I really, really love her, Yuu—”
“Y’know, I’m not a big fan of listening to your drama-filled life, but I’m also not very keen on hearing you be a sap.”
Sukuna, outright ignoring his brother, continued on with his speech anyway, “God, this might be the most stupid thing I’ve ever done.” He ran a hand down his face, exasperated.
“It is.”
Sukuna shot him a pointed look, and the younger boy only shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, dude, I’m pretty sure your girl broke things off permanently. Besides, there’s not much you can do to redeem yourself, anyway. Betting on a relationship is a pretty shitty move.”
“Do I look like I don’t know that?” Sukuna grumbled, stealing a handful of chips from Yuuji’s bowl.
“Well, you could’ve at least explained yourself while you had the chance, instead of just saying you’re sorry. I mean, poor girl, you faked a relationship with her and that’s all she knows.”
Sukuna — deep in thought, held his head in his hands.
“I’m sure if you tried to give an explanation she would at least hear you out. Eh, it might not even be too late to get her a bouquet or something. Whaddya know, I heard girls liked those kinds of things, when you get them their favorite flower and stuff.”
Yuuji paused, “You do know her favorite flower, right?”
“. . .”
“Man, I’m an optimistic person at heart, but this is just. . . You might be a lost cause, ‘Kuna.”
-
Sukuna had a lot of hope. Key word: had. As in, used to have.
Attempt no1:
They say Forget-me-nots (also referred to as Scorpion Grasses) represent true love, and respect or, at least, something of the like. But, the flower also — when gifted to someone — symbolizes that you’ll always hold them in your heart and in your thoughts and in your mind. The flower could additionally be interpreted to suggest fidelity, and being truthful, genuine, to someone you love. 
Now, Sukuna knew you were smart. And he never doubted that fact, despite all of his previous teasing and joking of that. But he had never wished for someone to have knowledge about the meanings of flowers more than he has at this very moment.
It’s funny, one can laugh, but it’s true that Sukuna spent countless hours researching different flowers and their archaic all the way to their modern meanings just so he could prove maybe he wasn’t that much of a dick, after all.
But maybe, he should’ve put a little more effort into the planning of his execution rather than the organizing part of it.
Sukuna knew you were avoiding him, even going as far as changing your daily routes to classes even if it meant walking farther distances. He was more impressed than offended at how dedicated you were to the whole “Never-Seeing-His-Face-Again” bit.
There really wasn’t much he could do to be able to see you in person, since you blocked all contact with him, but . . . Sukuna did happen to think of one way he could meet up with you.
While he may not have been the best boyfriend, Sukuna was still . . . decent, sorta, if you put aside the whole bet crisis. And, even if he couldn’t remember the purpose of your Student Council meetings, he did remember the directions to where your briefings took place. Call him a stalker or serial killer or whatever, it doesn’t change the fact he drove you to and from those damned meetings.
Pacing to and fro outside of a library was already strange enough; being covered in tattoos and having pink hair did not help with the amount of stares Sukuna received, but right now, he couldn’t care less. Sukuna gripped the bouquet of Forget-me-nots — and other flowers, but it was mainly filled with Forget-me-nots, like his life depended on it.
He went over his speech — that he had previously practiced with Yuuji the night before — over a hundred times in his head. But when he suddenly heard you call out his name out of confusion, all that he managed out was a plethora of garbled “I’m sorry’s” and “Please’s.”
“Sukuna? What—what are you doing here?” you asked, bewilderment written all over your features as your eyes wandered down to the enormous bouquet in his hands. Being greeted by your ex-boyfriend right after finishing a meeting was not on today’s Bingo card for you.
“I—I know the other night was . . . a mess,” Sukuna scratched the back of his neck, “but I didn’t get to explain myself and—”
“No, it’s okay, you have nothing to explain. Everything was a lie; everything you said was a lie; everything we did was a lie. See? I get it; no need for your clarification.” You shook your head, and began walking down the street to your next destination.
Even after knowing Sukuna for so long, you were a fool for thinking you could “outwalk” him. The male had no intention of letting you leave without you hearing him out first, and he was able to catch up to you within just a few strides.
“Can you just let me talk? For a second?”
You quickened your pace, trying your hardest to get him off your tail, but he just wouldn’t budge. Doesn’t this count as harassment?
“There’s nothing for you to say, Sukuna; I’m not wasting my time with you on this.”
Sukuna murmured your name, “Please, there’s more to the story than you think. I didn’t accept the bet to hurt you, I. . .” His voice trailed off as he wondered what to do next, but he suddenly remembered the bouquet and shoved it into your arms.
“What is this?” Your face morphed into one of incertitude, your voice softening as you examined the bouquet, but still, your pace never slowed.
“Special flowers, for a special girl.”
You rolled your eyes, again, quickening your pace; you were now speed walking while holding a comically large bouquet. Sukuna was finally not the only one being stared at, though he didn’t revel much in that fact.
“Don’t say that. You know we’re not together anymore; we’re over. Are you ever going to get that through your skull?” You finally stopped in your tracks, and turned to look at Sukuna — half because you were out of breath from walking so fast and half because you wanted to see the expression on his face.
“We don’t have to be; c’mon, I want to make things right—”
“Sukuna! I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” A high pitched voice called out, out of the blue.
You both turned your heads to see who it came from.
“You never texted me after I gave you my number last week. Don’t tell me you’re shy; there’s nothing scary about this girl,” the short brunette giggled.
In truth, Sukuna had no idea who this was. Probably just some rando who hit on him after seeing him play basketball.
“Lady, I don’t even remember your name—”
But the girl had already caught up with Sukuna and looped her arm around his, acting all friendly and whatnot. Sukuna looked at you for help, but you merely scoffed, amused with the sight, “You shouldn’t have to make things right in the first place. You chose this, don’t you remember?”
Exhaling, you turned on your heel and walked away.
-
 “Nobs, I think I might take a break from the dating scene, for a while. I mean, I’ve only recently begun to be able to look at Sukuna’s face without breaking down in tears.” While you tried to appear better off, your voice gave it all away. You weren’t completely over him yet.
“But, you’re hot; you’re young. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to make Sukuna regret losing you.” Nobara tried her hardest to get you to go to this party with her; she knew about your recent breakup, of course, but she was apparently too scared to go on her own, since Maki was unavailable.
“If Sukuna’s going that just gives me all the more reason to not go,” you stopped shoving ice cream in your mouth for a second to really get your point across.
Nobara sprawled across your bedroom floor, miserable, but not as miserable as you. She started thinking about not going to the party after all, but she had been looking forward to it all week! Ugh, going alone is the most “Loser thing” ever.
You paused your eating, and thought to yourself, If Sukuna’s really desperate to explain to me and apologize, he must be in his feelings, so he probably won’t go to the party.
“Ah, you know what, maybe I can go to that party, after all—”
“Really? Oh, my God! Yes!” Nobara immediately jumped up from the floor and threw her arms around you, trapping you in a hug.
“I’m still stuck on why you’re so happy. I seriously do not get what’s so great about this party.”
“Everything, duh.”
“Whose house is this, again?” you asked, once you and Nobara pulled up at the address you put into the GPS.
“Uh, dunno. I’m pretty sure Yuuji does, though; he got me the invite.”
At the mention of his name, your mind immediately went to his brother. Which was your first mistake, since tonight was supposed to be fun, and help you forget about everything that went down.
“Oh, so they’re in the same year as us, then?”
“Mm, probably. C’mon, what are you stalling for, let’s party!” Nobara dragged you out of the car and continued dragging you until you both arrived in front of the door.
Upon entering, you noticed the house was . . . nice — definitely not a mansion, unlike someone else’s, but it was the size of a typical “party house”. It looked sorta old, but it wasn’t rundown, so maybe people just used it a lot for large gatherings like this.
Did you want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven? No. Were your protests overlooked? Of course. Did you sit down in the circle? Yes. Yes, you did. This was now your second time playing the game, and your opinion of it hadn’t changed at all. Being surrounded by drunk or high college kids instantly soured your mood, and you almost regretted agreeing to join Nobara.
A brunette girl, whom you recognized as the girl from yesterday, spun the bottle first, and the game commenced. What’s different about this house is that it has multiple closets, so the game progressed pretty quickly, with several couples being in their  respective closets at once.
When it came down to your turn, you spun the bottle, though, not without some hesitancy, at first.
1 . . .
2 . . .
3 . . .
The empty bottle went around the circle three times before it landed on . . . Sukuna? What the fuck? You hadn’t even noticed he was here. This happened last time, too. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this game? Is it cursed or something? God.
There was visible and audible shock amongst the crowd.
“Didn’t this happen at Naoya’s party?”
“Yeah, it did!”
“That’s crazy.”
-
“Look, I know this might not be the best situation to say this but—”
Despite your misgivings about doing so, you went in the closet with Sukuna anyway. And after locking the door behind him, Sukuna turned to you with a desperate look on his face.
Attempt no2:
“I’m giving you seven minutes, because that’s all the time we have in here anyway and also because I’m bored and curious as to what you think is a valid apology.”
“Okay, that’s—that’s enough for me. . . I know — that from the moment we met, it started off bad. Beyond bad. Horrible, even. But I want to make things right between us. Because, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And, I fucked things up. I followed through with Naoya’s bet when I was drunk and out of my mind. I should’ve ended it the next day but I didn’t; I wanted to prove to Naoya I could take you out. Because . . . I’ve liked you for a long time, probably since high school, even. And I know I never expressed that in a good way, but that’s only because I never realized it myself. So, seeing him just dangle the money in front of me, I just—I just thought of the money as a nice ‘incentive’ or something.”
“That’s a weird thing to think.”
“Yeah, I know. And I was stupid to think that that justified what I was doing. But, everything after our first phone call was real, I swear. Nothing we did together was fake or me just using you to get money. But, I won’t deny that that doesn’t change the fact I was an asshole—”
“You are an asshole.”
“Okay, that I will admit. Yes, I’m an asshole. But, I’m sorry. I’m a sorry asshole. Heh.”
“Did you just laugh at your own joke?”
“I—uh—” Sukuna took in a deep breath, “I know you could have as many me’s in your life, and hate them all the same. But I’ll only ever have one you. And that’s all I need. So please, I won’t ask for you to take me back; I don’t deserve that, but please, I just want you to hear me out. 
“You can punch me, kick me, block my number and delete it, but please, don’t ignore what I’m saying to you right now. Know that I’m sorry — though sorry doesn’t quite cut it, but please know. Know that I love you. Know that I’m completely devoted to you. Know that I will kiss the ground with which you walk upon. Know that I love you, for fuck’s sake, and will wait for you to accept that — you don’t have to love me too, just accept that I love you. Please, know.”
Sukuna’s voice was soft as he spoke with such earnestness you almost wanted to feel guilty. You knew what he did was unforgivable. And yet, you couldn’t help but feel as if you wanted to just forget all that had happened and go back to how things used to be between you two.
You would be a terrible liar to say you hadn’t missed Sukuna, and although he was a stupid asshole, his words proved he did nothing with ill intention. He agreed to the bet because that was the extra push he needed to be able to ask you out. He couldn’t have done it by himself, out of fear or anxiety or whatever. It was an impossible thought — the idea of Ryomen Sukuna being scared of rejection, but nobody was superhuman. Everyone has emotions.
Speaking of which, maybe it was an emotional choice to take a step forward. Maybe it was an illogical choice to finally meet Sukuna’s eyes since you two entered the closet. Maybe it was an impulsive choice to wrap your arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug, with your head resting on his chest. But, either way, you felt it was the right choice.
At first, Sukuna was tense, surprised at the sudden embrace. But, he remembered it was one he longed for, ever since that fateful night, and it didn’t take long for him to return the hug, wrapping his arms around your torso.
Through silent, unspoken words only the both of you shared and understood, you two basked in the moment of finally getting your love back. Sukuna had more words to say than he could speak. You had more feelings to share than you could show. The time you two spent apart was excruciatingly and regretfully (on your part) long.
On both sides there was an absence of something fundamental; whatever you two built while together was gone. But now? There’s not much to be said except for the light returning to those crimson eyes that you so loved.
It’s enigmatic; you don’t know what possessed you to speak up — your voice muffled due to burying your face in Sukuna’s chest. But you knew it was partially because of how long you spent bottling up your emotions: anger, sadness, regret, longing. All for one man, and one man only.
“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate your stupid brain, that managed to apologize whilst using math as metaphors. I hate your dumb smile, which still stuns me even after everything. I hate your annoying voice, which is the only thing I can fall asleep to. I hate your hair, which stands out in every crowd I enter to avoid you. 
“I hate your motorcycle, which even the rational part of my mind still imagines hearing the engine of. I hate your hands, which I undeniably long to feel in my hair. I hate your way of talking to me, which I can never get bored of, no matter how hard I try. I hate when you lie your way out of the littlest of things. I hate when you’re not around, and I have no one to tell me jokes that don’t even make sense. I hate that you think you can just win me over because you got me flowers knowing they have a specific meaning. 
“I hate that I hate you. I hate that I still love you.”
Hearing you sob your heart out while laying everything bare for him, Sukuna couldn’t help but place a kiss on your crown, burying his nose in your hair. After all, Sukuna had a feeling you were just listing parts of him you loved. But either way, he didn’t mind. This was simply the start of everything reverting back to normal, something both you and Sukuna longed for. And, —
In the end,
Sukuna didn’t want anything. He wanted everything. He wanted you. (you were his everything.)
𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒
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A/N: Thanks for all the love and support I’ve received on this series!!, it was definitely a pain to finish and every one of your comments and reblogs and likes definitely helped me get through writing this <3
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after-witch · 2 months ago
Text
Yandere Overhaul x Reader on their period headcanon + drabble
Synopsis: The title sums it up!!!
Notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, reader gets their period, misogyny, humiliation, period-based shaming and punishment 
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“Oh, you dear thing–you dear, sullied thing.”
Predictably, he is not the nicest about the nature of your period. Although there is an inherent oozing, cooing condescension in regards to anything medical which causes you pain or discomfort, your period is a little… trickier.
It is, objectively in his mind, so very dirty, after all. 
Of course, there is the mess involved. His germophobia makes him feel ill in regards to most bodily functions, and that does include menstruation.  It is something of a conflict for him, because he does feel he should take ownership of your medical needs, but he has zero desire to be involved in anything related to bodily function. 
But don’t think that means he gives up control during that time of the month. Barring a medical reason, he chooses your method of menstrual hygiene: pads, and pads only. Why? Because tampons can cause toxic-shock syndrome, and because he’s a freak who doesn’t want to imagine you putting anything inside but perhaps, down the line, with careful planning and utmost cleaning, his dick.
You will be solely responsible for the disposal of your pads, however, and he takes it seriously. He’ll instruct you–distaste obvious on his face–to wrap them first in the provided plastic liner, then in several rounds of unused toilet paper, and then into special biohazard bags. Yes. Biohazard bags. Punishment will be swift if you disobey him on this–he’d find any straying from this necessary “hazard” treatment abhorrent. 
He’ll instruct you to clean yourself exceptionally well during your period, too. He has a tendency to instruct you while you bathe–gaze to the side, if you’ve been good–and he would want you to take special care to wash your privates during that time of the month. It’s humiliating. Patronizing. But if you don’t do it, he’ll force himself to take the reins and do it for you–something you definitely don’t want. 
On the other side of things, he gets a twisted satisfaction from treating your other symptoms. Feeling weak or lightheaded? Cramps? Backaches? Wanting to simply curl up and sleep it off? Those trigger something thickly patronizing in him–and he’d want to take care of you.
It’s a very strange sort of pampering, in which he is both hands-on and, due to his distaste for menstruation, hands-off. 
He’d forbid you from engaging in anything too strenuous. You should be in bed, dear. Resting. You’d get a pillow to shove between your legs. He would provide you with a heating pad, and supervise you the whole time, lest you misuse it and burn your skin. 
If you behave, you can have medication to ease your pains. If you don’t, well, biology has seen fit to suitably punish you, hasn’t it?
He will absolutely line your bed with incontinence pads in case of any “spillage” in the night. Anything that gets stained goes into a biohazard bag. 
Overall, it’s not a great time. You’ll start dreading your period because while he doesn’t exactly mistreat you during that time of the month (withholding medication when you aren’t “good” notwithstanding)-- he treats you like you’re some sort of mildly dirty thing that needs to be carefully handled. 
Your skin burns fire-hot and you keep your legs pressed together, hands covering the fold of your nightgown over what you know is a blood-damp patch. There hadn’t been any signs of your period coming this month–but considering the amount of stress you were under on a daily basis, it was no wonder that your body was a bit out of sorts.
“There’s no use lying to me,” he says, voice low behind the mask. There’s displeasure in it, yes, but something else, too. Something that makes your stomach curl up, slimy and humiliated. 
Disgust. 
“I didn’t–I’m not–” You cross your legs again, and feel the cool damp patch in your underwear move. An unpleasant sensation made worse by the man standing in front of you, acting like you’d done something awful by merely getting your period in the middle of the night. 
If only you’d woken up before he came into the room. You might have been able to rush into the bathroom and hide the underwear, maybe, or–your mind whirs for ways you might have gotten out of this situation, but everything ends up being a dead end. 
You’re not supposed to open the dresser by yourself, so he’d know if you got a fresh pair of underwear and a new nightgown. And where could you hide the soiled clothes, exactly? Nowhere. Maybe you could have set them in cold water in the sink to soak, but no doubt he’d make you scrub the sink with disinfectant if you’d tried that option.
You’re left with nothing to do but move your hands and stand up and stare at your bare feet as an awful, sludgy mixture of humiliation and anger courses through you. It makes your stomach clench and roil–or maybe that’s just a lovely effect of the time of the month. 
“I didn’t mean to,” is what you finally manage to say, eyes burning a hole in the soft carpet at your feet. Apologizing for what used to be an eye-roll and irritated sigh moment in the mornings where your pad had shifted or when you’d started while you slept. Apologizing for daring to have a biological function that–like most biological functions–made him comfortable.
He hums, softly.
“Of course you are, dearest.” You still can’t look up at him. It’s enough to hear the low ripple of discomfort in his voice; enough to know that he finds you dirty. 
And maybe that’s part of the shame. That someone who has no trouble going on about your purity, about the need to keep you away from the dirtiness of the outside world, sees that dirt in you once a month between your legs.
“No need to delay it any further, hmm? We’ll get you disinfected and properly dispose of those clothes.” You wonder if he’s looking at the stain on your gown, now; is he imagining the way the stain must look underneath, still damp on the plain white cotton underwear he gives you each day? 
You keep your eyes trained to the floor. It’s better not to know. 
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