#that will have 9 inch square finished blocks

[tj-crochets]

A little bit of quilting scrap management, cutting scraps down to usable sizes (and putting the smaller pieces into my crumb quilting or braiding piles). Today’s scraps are 5” squares, 3.5” squares, and a few 2.5” strips

[itchy-knitting]

My current project, the Unicorn Tapestry Cardigan, by Star Crossed Knits.

Her suggested yarn was the Cascade 220 Sport (Peruvian highland wool).

I have previously worked with that yarn and made a classic green Christmas sweater. But even the superwash variety wool made my skin go insane. I plan to write another blog on the difference of “superwash”, how it changes the yarn, what exactly a micron is.

But for now, what a gorgeous sweater that was, as long as I covered every square inch of my skin before I wore it. Even then, I made it about 6 hours tops before I felt too itchy to go on.

This sweater was going to be different, I foolishly vowed. I then spent countless hours researching cotton yarns. I tend to run cold in the wintertime, and don’t wear cardigans if I’m cold. I wanted this to be my spring and summer sweater, so a breathable wool alternative was a must!

And then the insanity began.

Cotton yarn is wonderful. It comes in bright colors, it’s affordable, it’s easily found in craft stores, however, these benefits come hand in hand with a myriad of cons. My next post is going to be on alllll of the research that went into cotton yarn.

For now though, I’ll just summarize and say that ended up buying Rowan Softyak DK. I am very fortunate to live near a flagship store of Rowan, I got to touch a lot of yarn before I dropped a lot of money. I also learned that yarn is softer wound in a hank than knitting.

You seriously bought an animal fiber yak yarn after all of that cotton research?

I can explain!!

This yarn is 76% cotton, 15% yak, and 9% nylon. An excellent blend in my opinion, tons of breathability, the yak adds just a touch more warmth, and the nylon creates longer fibers within the yarn. This allows for stretch that will hold its shape, and increases durability. It is expensive though (booo), but you pay for quality!

The yarn itself is actually a “chainette construction”, which is almost an i-cord, stuffed with fibers. I’m becoming quite a fan of these, it creates durability, and by “stuffing” the cotton chain with the animal fibers, this adds another layer between me and an allergen!! Win-win!

I have brought out my snail magnifying glass to illustrate the cord, behold my snail son:

I am pleasantly surprised with how smooth it’s knitting up, you cannot see the yarn texture reflected in the finished knit! I’m not ready to give my final verdict on the yarn until it is washed and blocked though, updates to follow!

[asketho]

OOC: about this Etho

information about the c!Etho on this blog under the cut; may be added to at a later date

updated last: jun 11 24

No one knows what his species is, though a few hermits have guesses and betting pools

His hair is naturally white and all of his body hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, etc is as well

He has slightly too-sharp fingernails that look more like claws than human fingers

He wears a single clock earring on his right ear

His ears are slightly pointed at the tips and stick out a little

His left eye is Redstone of his own creation; he adds to it frequently and currently it can measure distances by sight, identify players and mobs, preform and display complex equations and calculations, see in the dark to a limited degree, zoom in and out [it appears to him like an overlay on the left side of his vision, a small pop-up window), and more. He lost his left eye in a creeper explosion in his singleplayer world when a piece of shrapnel hit him square in the eye. His right eye is a white iris, deep red pupil, and just barely a ring of medium grey surrounding the iris.

He is 6' 4" - shorter than Doc (like most), taller than a majority of other Hermits and Lifers. When compared to Scar out of his wheelchair, they are similar heights but Scar is a few inches taller

He wears ratty, tattered fingerless gloves

He is almost never seen without his jacket; he complains of being cold without it

Only the NHO have seen his face without his mask

His entire body is very scarred, especially his back

While this is not a focal point of this blog and will be tagged, he has struggled with self harm in the past. Please be mindful of your own limits and block #self harm tw

Mod Note: I have not seen a fair few seasons of HC, including the most recent (9 & 10) and I have not finished Third Life, Double Life, or seen any after Double Life. I will include this as I (very slowly) watch it. This blog is "set" in a fictional season so that I can have creative liberty and not worry about getting fact checked.

[somediyprojects]

DIY Window Floating Shelves

Project by Jessica Marquez:

Black thumb be damned, I love filling my home with plants. Prickly cactus, chubby-leaved succulents and sprawling ivy are my favorite types of greenery. Mainly because they are the easiest to care for, and I don’t have the best track record. In spite of my plant-murdering ways, I clearly see the benefits of houseplants. They are beautiful, they clean the air, and they can even improve your mood.

It seems like every other day I’m vacuuming soil and nursing a broken plant back into a tipped pot. Thanks, cats! I created these built-in clear shelves to get my plants off my windowsill and, bonus, I was able to add a lot more color and greenery into my life. These minimal shelves provide lots of direct light, so they’re great for cacti, succulents and herbs. And while they don’t block too much light, they provide a bit of privacy, too.

These shelves work great for smaller windows. This one is about 24 inches wide. I chose to use acrylic for my shelves because it’s lightweight, safer than glass (since these are not screwed in), and easy to remove to clean. You could easily substitute wood for the brackets — painted to match your window — and glass for the shelves. The acrylic does bow a bit with the weight of the plants. If you’d like to display heavier objects or if you have wider windows I’d suggest using tempered glass, which you can easily get cut to size with finished edges at a professional glass shop. —Jessica Marquez

Materials

– Measuring tape – Painter’s tape – Acrylic shelf (you can get acrylic sheets cut and brackets cut to size here) – Acrylic square rod “brackets” (These are not traditional brackets, but are easy to install and support the shelf like a traditional bracket would.) – 9/64 drill bit – Ruler – Pencil – Level – Sheet Metal Screws, size 6 x 1 1/4

Instructions

Step 1

Using a measuring tape, measure the width and depth of your window. My window was 24 5/8 x 4.5″. I wanted the shelves to fit flush into the window, so I made sure the measurement was just a hair shy of the full width. To save a bit on the cost of materials, I got 4″ deep shelves, instead of 4.5″. In total, I got four 1/4″ thick acrylic shelves cut at Canal Plastic Center along with nine 5/8″ x 4″ square acrylic rods.

Step 2

Using painter’s tape, plan the layout of your shelves. Allow for some room for your plants to grow.

Step 3

Drill two holes in support brackets. To speed up the drill process, I taped the bracket pieces side by side onto a piece of scrap wood and marked on the tape the center point where the holes would be drilled.

NOTE: If you are using acrylic brackets drill very slowly! As you’re drilling, pull the drill bit out every few seconds. The drill bit heats up as you drill and can melt the acrylic if you drill too fast without breaks. I had a craft fail with my first drill bit, which got permanently stuck in the acrylic. Glad I ordered one extra bracket piece. 

Step 4

Mark where your brackets will be installed on one side of the windowsill. With a ruler and level, mark a level line along the depth of the window sill. Measure from the bottom up using your taped window guide as a reference point. Once you have your level measurement for the first bottom shelf, you can measure up from there. Each of my shelves were 13″ apart.

Step 5

Mark the opposite side of the windowsill where the brackets will be installed. Start with the bottom shelf. Use a leveled shelf lined up with your previous marks on the opposite side of the windowsill to create a level line along the depth of the windowsill. Once you have the level mark for the bottom shelf, you can measure up from there using the same distance between shelves as you did on the opposite side. Remember to level each shelf.

Step 6

Drill in screws. It helps to screw in one side halfway, level the bracket, and screw in the other side. Then you can completely drill in both screws. Repeat this step for all of your brackets. Now you’re ready to drop in your shelves, which rest right on the brackets and decorate.

[alexesguerra]

Crochet Stitches Step-By-Step: More Than 150 Essential Stitches for Your Next Project Crochet Stitches Step-by-Step: More than 150 Essential Stitches for Your Next Project Paperback – January 2, 2024 by Claire Montgomerie (Author) ---Brand New Book-- A modern, photographic directory of over 150 crochet stitches, covering techniques including granny squares, amigurumi, and Tunisian crochet. An inspirational, practical guide to more than 150 crochet stitches. Take your crochet to the next level with Crochet Stitches Step-by-Step. This essential guide opens a world of possibilities for crocheters of all abilities, with a huge range of stitches to inspire your next project. Discover how to combine stitches to create eye-catching granny squares and mandalas, design amigurumi toys, and try your hand at techniques including Tunisian crochet and C2C. This essential collection of must-try stitches will offer something for every crocheter and every project, with tips on finding the right techniques to create everything from blankets and sweaters to socks and toys. Every stitch is accompanied by full instructions, with clear photographs and annotations so that you can follow even the trickiest of methods with ease. The book also covers the hooks, yarn, and tools you’ll need, along with essential know-how for blocking, sewing, and finishing your work. With an at-a-glance gallery to help you find the perfect stitch for your next project, this modern classic is a must-have for crocheters of all ages and abilities. About the Author Lee Sartori is a crochet designer, author, and expert tutor at the Annie’s Creative Studio subscription service. She has appeared as guest host of Knit and Crochet Now! (PBS, seasons 9–11), and was assistant editor at Happily Hooked Magazine. She has also written several crochet titles, including Harry Potter: Crochet Wizardry and A Modern Guide to Textured Crochet (both 2021). Lee has a passion for designing modern garments and adorable amigurumi, which she shares with her 100k Instagram and 120k Facebook followers. Publisher ‏ : ‎ DK (January 2, 2024) Language ‏ : ‎ English Paperback ‏ : ‎ 160 pages ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0744086051 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 9780744086058 Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.04 pounds Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.75 x 0.52 x 9.25 inches

[whereareroo]

DAY TWO



WF UPDATE : 6/29/23- - Day 2

Easy day today. It helped that the temperature was much cooler. It was only 60 degrees when we started, and it was only 75 when we stopped. The trail was flat and the sun was shining. We covered 9.3 miles.

We started at 7:45 a.m. and we were done by 12:30 p.m. Of course, we enjoyed multiple stops along the way.

We had breakfast in our room. Yogurt for me. Bread, banana, and yogurt for GC1. We also snacked along the way.

On the trail, we chatted with several groups of Pilgrims. Everybody recognizes GC1, and they take a moment to say hello. At one point, GC1 was talking to me about the rivalry between the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics. A young woman who had chatted with GC1 yesterday approached from behind and announced that she was a Celtics fan. We learned that the woman is from Greece and that she has become a Celtics fan because she goes to college in Boston. When she was 16 years old, she walked The Camino with her Greek grandfather.

By the way, GC1 acts as if he is a professional hiker. He jumps out of bed and knocks off the miles. He talks constantly. I realize that it’s only Day #2, but it doesn’t look like we’ll have any problems.

For the first eight miles today, we walked a route that was so straight it could have been a runway. The first four miles were paved. The next four miles were dirt. Somewhere around mile six, we took short detour into a sleepy town to take a break.

The sleepy town was so sleepy that it didn’t even have a cafe. We sat on a bench in the main square and snacked. Whilst sitting, GC1 noticed a potato in the street that must have fallen off a local farm truck. The potato became a “ball,” and we played catch for 15 minutes. This potato was extremely sturdy. It was still intact after 15 minutes. It didn’t even break when GC1 slammed it into the ground.

Speaking of crops, for the first eight miles we were surrounded by fields. Most of the time, the crop was corn. About 25% of the time, the crop was sunflowers.

Speaking of things to toss, I’ve been carrying a 6 inch frisbee that Mrs. Craftlady crocheted. We’ve been playing with these things for years. Yes, a crocheted frisbee can fly. Last night at 9:00 p.m., it was boiling hot in our room. We decided to go out into the plaza to play frisbee. It was much cooler out there. We played until 10:00 p.m. For reasons that I don’t understand, it’s daylight here until 10:30 p.m.

For the last 1.3 miles today, we walked a country road into a town called Hospital de Orbigo. It’s bordered by the Orbigo River. To get into town, you cross a long stone bridge that dates back to the Medieval era. It’s pretty. It’s a piece of history.

The bridge is also the site of a famous jousting event that took place in the year 1434. To prove his honor, a Knight from Leon decided to joust with every man who attempted to cross the bridge. He defeated 300 men. Satisfied that he had proven himself, the Knight reopened the bridge to everyone. Isn’t that weird? They still hold a big jousting festival here every year. Lucky for us, it was last weekend.

We got here at 12:30 p.m., and for some reason the cafes here don’t start lunch service until 1:30 p.m. We got stuff from the grocery store and we made our own sandwiches. We had a picnic in the town square.

At 1:30 p.m., we were able to check into our hotel. It’s the best place in town, and it’s air conditioned. We have a sweet view of the famous stone bridge. We can watch the other Pilgrims enter town.

Let me finish with two stories from the latter part of the day.

A little after 4:30 p.m., after we were rested and clean, we headed out to explore town. We waited until after 4:30 because that’s when life here starts to resume after the “siesta.” We passed by a nice looking Church, and according to the sign posted on the door it should have reopened at 4:00 p.m. It was locked. We moved down the block, and went inside the courtyard of one of the albergues because we could see that it had an elaborate garden. While visiting, using my rudimentary Spanish, I asked one of the workers if the church would reopen today. She said that she would be back in “una momento.” She came back with the parish priest, who walked us down the block and gave us a private tour of the church. I only understood about 20% of what he said, but I certainly wasn’t going to walk away. The tour took about 30 minutes. Then the priest took us back to the albergue, gave GC1 a can of Coke, and said that he’d return in “una momento.” He came back with a worker who spoke a small amount of English. For the next 40 minutes, using the services of this inadequate “translator,” the priest told us his life story and the history of the local church. In this setting, I understood about 50% of what he said. In the end, we both got big hugs from the priest and we returned to our tour of the town.

At dinner, the next table was occupied by a guy in his early 20s. His English was pretty good. He told us that he was from Germany, and that he started his pilgrimage in Germany. Today was his 91st day of walking! He doesn’t take days off. He starts at 5:00 a.m. every day and he walks about 20 miles. He thinks that he’ll get to Santiago in about 8 or 9 days. That means that his total trip will be right around 100 days. Wow! He says he’s already planning his next long distance hike.

It’s bedtime for us. I’m exhausted just thinking about a 100 day hike. Isn’t that amazing?

[sararyan21]

How To Make A Fire Pit? 3 Useful Methods To Light Up Your Living Space

It is possible to build a fire pit at a reasonable price. The key to success begins with using fundamental techniques that make it sturdy, attractive, and practical.

Then, you can give it a fantastic aesthetic that is also relatively affordable by using natural and locally accessible materials.

Make this winter the finest one ever with these simple campfire ideas. These easy projects look lovely in your yard, whether you want to cozy up while drinking beer or cook your meal over an open fire.

Here are the steps we took to instruct you on how to make a fire pit.

How To Make A Fire Pit On Grass With Retaining Wall Blocks? 

Retaining wall blocks

Retain wall blocks made with a back lip that allows them to interlock easily and without mortar, resulting in a solid wall with a polished appearance.

You can use bricks with straight sides to create a rectangular pit, whereas blocks with slanted sides can build a circular one. 

#1. Check The Local Ordinances. 

Convince yourself that creating a fire pit won't lead to you receiving a fine from the neighborhood governing body. 

Connect with the local planning officials to find out if there are any restrictions. Only move on after receiving all necessary approvals.

#2. Picking A Safe Site

Choose a spot for your fire circle that is flat and far away from combustible buildings. Remember to trim any dangerous tree branches dangling too low. 

To minimize smoke pouring into your living area interior through doors or windows, remember the direction that the wind usually blows at various times of the day before deciding on the location.

#3. Setting The Dimensions 

In this step, you need to choose the width of your fire pit. The round fire pit should have a diameter of around 36 and 44 inches.

Then use marking chalk to trace the footprint. To do this, place a stake directly in the center of the space where the fire pit will be. 

It is recommendable to attach a twine length that is half the intended diameter to the stake. Then paint the perimeter of the stake by moving in a circle while holding the string out. 

Make precise measurements and define the footprint of the fire pit if you want to construct a rectangular or square one.

#4. Digging A Hole Inside The Fire Pit 

It's time to start digging in the area of the circle you just drew. Eight inches deep is about enough. 

To ensure that your construction will be level if the yard slopes, it might be essential to dig down further on one end.

#5. Adding A Layer Of Sand 

In step five, put a two-inch layer of sand over the area you dug up. To level and compact the sand, tamp it down.

#6. Starting Assembling The Retaining-Wall Blocks 

After finishing step five, construct a single course of cement retaining wall blocks around the perimeter of the pit. If the blocks need to be slightly adjusted to be flat, tap them with a rubber hammer to determine the proper height.

#7. Adding Construction Adhesive 

If unsure, use a fire-safe building adhesive to join the tiles together for more security. It will make the construction sturdy and able to endure feet-propping, but it will also make it more challenging to take the fire pit apart.

#8. Placing The Blocks For The Retaining Wall. 

We must add another layer. Over the first circle of staggered blocks, you set the second one. You can use masonry adhesive to connect the two tiers. Leave tiny, irregularly spaced spaces between the bricks to provide airflow around the fire.

#9. Covering The Sand With A Layer Of Gravel 

The last step is now at hand. After placing the finishing two rounds of blocks, fill the hollow with about 4 inches of crushed rock. 

Before starting your first fire, let the adhesive set for around two days. Then, let it burn!

How To Build A Fire Pit With Patio Pavers In 6 Steps?

Stone fire pit

If you have a flat natural stone source, you can build a fire pit with a more organic appearance. Yet, these stones are not as well-kept and sleek as patio pavers. Follow the following steps to know how to build a fire pit with rocks.

#1. Preparation

In this step, you can follow the directions from steps 1 to 5 for the retaining wall fire pit mentioned above.

#2. Gathering Stones For Your Fire Pits 

Get enough flat and paver-like rocks to construct a fire pit. You should purchase more stones than you need to ensure you have stones to put them together correctly.

#3. Setting The Foundational Stone Layer

Lay down a stone layer following the footprint of your fire pit. If you're utilizing stones of random shapes, pack them as closely together as possible. You should test a few rocks against one another to find the perfect match.

#4. Constructing The Fire Pit's Walls 

After placing your base layer, add the second thin coating of stones on top of it, carefully fitting each stone to the one before it in a brick-like arrangement. 

You can merely stack the rocks or utilize mortar to connect the stones more tightly. Continue the procedure, adding layers of gravel and cannon to the pit borders until they are the appropriate height.

#5. Closing Any Holes And Gaps

It is recommendable to fill any sizable holes throughout your fire pit walls with little fragments of shattered stone. In case you've employed mortar, mash them in.

#6. Spreading A Layer Of Gravel On Top Of The Sand 

If you employ mortar, wait until it is scorched before filling the space with roughly 4 inches of crushed rock, volcanic stones, or fire pit glass. Your fire pit is now ready, and you can optionally add a grate.

How To Build A Fire Pit With Bricks In 4 Steps?

Firebricks

Firebricks, referred to as refractory bricks, are ceramic building blocks with exceptional heat tolerance. For a round fire pit, bent firebricks are appropriate, while rectangular fire bricks are suitable for rectangle or square holes.

#1. Preparation 

In this stage, you can follow the directions from steps 1 to 5 for the retaining wall fire pit mentioned above.

#2. Creating Your Initial Layer 

Lay down the first layer of firebricks around the perimeter of the fire pit. Put them side by side and knock them up against one another. Use a scale to check their tops to ensure your bricks are correctly aligned.

#3. Building More Layers 

Build more brick layers in a staggered pattern, ensuring each coat is flat. If you'd like, you can use cement or fire-safe adhesive.

#4. Completing The Bottom 

Over the layer of sand, add a 4-inch layer of small rocks or crushed stones.

Final Thoughts

The fascination and ambiance of a garden fire pit are unmatched. As music and marshmallows create stories that everyone will enjoy forever, family and visitors are impressed by the magnificent brilliance of the flames. 

Let's gather bricks, retaining wall blocks, and patio pavers and spend an afternoon working together to find out how to make a fire pit.

Article Source: https://www.campfireusa.org/how-to-make-a-fire-pit

[gnatolie]

Mushroom pals crochet pattern below!

Quick lil disclaimer: this pattern has only been tested by me so far. You might run into a mistake or two while following the pattern because of this. Feel free to message me if you have any feedback for how the pattern is written or if you find a mistake you’d like me to fix!

Difficulty: Beginner-Intermediate. Mostly beginner amigurumi and tunisian concepts but shaping and mixing tunisian/standard crochet may be difficult for those just learning to crochet. 

Finished Size: 8-ish inches tall

Materials:

*i used DK yarn for the stem, cap, socks, and shoes of the mushroom but sport weight/baby yarn would be nice for clothing. feel free to mix and match colors to make a super cool mushroom. i focused on earth tones because i have a ton of earthy scraps to get rid of but you can make your pals bright, or base them off of your favorite mushroom, or whatever you like!

- 1/4 ball of cap color (i used orange to make Galerina autumnalis, red for amanita)

- 1/4 ball of stem color 

- scraps of shoe color (optional, if you want shoes)

- sock color (optional, depends how tall/if you want socks)

- small amounts of outfit colors (amount depends what you make but outfits don’t take much)

- small amounts of accessory colors (amount depends on if you want accessories, doesn’t take much yarn)

- scraps of yarn/thread, felt, etc to decorate cap (optional)

- G/6/4.25 mm hook

- yarn needle

- wadding/stuffing

- safety eyes/yarn/thread for eyes and face (i used 6mm safety eyes and embroidery thread. materials you use depend on if you want a face and what you have on hand)

- powder blush (optional, for cheeks)

Abbreviations (US Crochet Terms):

ch = chain

st = stitch

yo = yarn over

sl = slip stitch

sc = single crochet

inc = increase 

dec = decrease

fo = finish off

Special Techniques 

Tunisian Crochet - knit stitch is used for sweaters, simple stitch used for a skirt. Tunisian is easier for me and works up faster than knitting. Not every piece of clothing in this pattern requires tunisian crochet, just the sweaters in the picture.

Running stitch - used to cinch head into shape after stuffing 

Ladder stitch - used to stitch pieces and clothing together

French knot - optional, for decorating cap

Satin stitch - optional, for decorating cap (would work well for gills)

Mushroom Pal Doll

Head (in stem color):

Start with magic ring

1. sc 6 in ring (6)

2. *sc inc* 6 times (12)

3. *sc inc, sc* 6 times (18)

4. *sc inc, sc 2* 6 times (24)

5. *sc inc, sc 3* 6 times (30)

6-9. sc in each st (30). After finishing row 9, place eyes between rows 5 & 6, about 6 stitches apart. If you’d like your pal to have a face, go ahead and embroider that now. 

10. *sc inc* 30 times (60)

11. *sc inc, sc* 30 times (90). FO, weave in ends. 

Cap (in cap color):

Start with magic ring

1. sc 10 in ring (10)

2. *sc inc* 10 times (20)

3. *sc inc, sc* 10 times (30)

4. *sc inc, sc 2* 10 times (40)

5. *sc inc, sc 3* 10 times (50)

6. *sc inc, sc 4* 10 times (60)

7. *sc inc, sc 5* 10 times (70)

8. *sc inc, sc 6* 10 times (80)

9. *sc inc, sc 7* 10 times (90)

10-13. sc in each st (90). Don’t FO yet. After completing row 13, decorate your cap as desired. You can add french knots or felt for spots, embroider gills, etc. Go wild homie. 

14. Line up the edges of the head and cap. Join the pieces by sc in every stitch of both head and cap, stuffing when you’re 3/4 of the way through. Stuff to desired firmness. Cap will be a little bit gathered and the head will lose shape as you stuff. FO and weave in ends. 

Using a strand of stem color and your yarn needle, sew a running stitch between rows 10 and 11 of the head starting at the back of the head. The running stitch should be where the head flares into the gills of the mushroom cap. Pull the ends of the yarn tightly to cinch the head into shape. Use 2-3 square knots to secure, then bury the ends of the thread. 

Body (stem color)

ch 12, sl to join into circle

1-3. sc in each ch/st (12)

4. *sc inc, sc* 6 times (18)

5-10. sc in each (18)

11. *sc inc, sc 2* 6 times (24)

12-15. sc in each (24). Don’t FO -- leg #1 will be worked directly into body. 

Leg 1 (cont. from body, stem color)

*color change suggestions listed for sock lengths 

16. Sc in first 12 stitches of body (12)

17. Sc in first stitch to make a circle and in each stitch after (12)

18-21. Sc in each stitch. Switch to sock color at row 19 for thigh-highs. Switch to sock color after completing row 21 for knee-highs.

22. *sc dec, sc* 4 times (8) Switch to sock color for ankle socks. 

23-26. sc in each (8). Switch to shoe color after completing row 23 if you want shoes.

27. *sc dec* 4 times (4). FO, stitch bottom of shoe closed with tail and bury the end. Stuff leg through top of body -- I used a chopstick to help stuff since the leg is thin. 

Leg 2 (stem color)

Join yarn to body near inner thigh of leg 1 and ch 1. Crochet over tail or weave in. Repeat leg 1. 

Arms (x2)

start with magic ring

1. sc 4 in ring (4)

2. *sc, inc* 2 times (6)

3-10. sc in each (6). FO, leaving a long tail to sew onto body. Stuff to desired firmness and stitch top closed. 

Construction

1. If you haven’t already, finish stuffing the body to desired firmness. The crotch of the mushroom friend is still open, so stitch that closed with a piece of stem color yarn.

2. Use a ladder stitch to attach head to body. I stitched the body to row 3 of the head.Your pal will be top-heavy! Clothing will help stabilize. 

3. Sew the arms to the sides of the body. I chose to attach them between rows 1 & 2 of the body. 

Clothing

*clothing instructions are a little bit ambiguous bc you have to decide on sizes, colors, and shapes. some pieces are mix and match, some have bases and interchangeable sleeves/lengths.

***************************************************************************************

Shirt/Dress Base

ch 24, sl to join

1. Sc in first 7. Ch 4, skip 5 chains. Sc in next 7. Ch 4, sl to first st. Ch 1. Skipped chains are armholes. (14 st, 8ch.)

2. *Sc in first 7. Sc in each ch of ch 4* 2 times. (22)

3. sc in each (22)

4. *sc inc, sc* 11 times (33)

5. sc in each (33). Repeat to desired length (shirt, tunic, dress, etc.) then finish FO. Weave in ends.

Shirt/Dress Sleeves (normal)

*Play with colors to make a raglan top/dress

Join in the “armpit” area of the shirt

1. Sc in each ch around (9)

2. Sc in each st (9). Repeat to desired length, then FO.

Shirt/Dress Sleeves (puffy) 

*scrunch sleeve at top for puffiness to be puffy

Join in the “armpit” area of the shirt

1. *sc inc* 9 times (18)

2-4. sc in each (18)

5. *sc dec* 9 times (9)

6. sc in each (9). Repeat to desired length, then FO. 

***************************************************************************************

Knitted Sweater/Dress Body Panel (x2) (on both mushrooms in picture)

*tunisian knit stitch used

1. Draw up a loop in each ch (10 loops). Return pass.

2. YO. Knit stitch in next 8 vertical bars. YO. Knit stitch in last vertical bar (12 loops). Return Pass. 

3. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (12 loops). Return Pass.

4. YO. Knit stitch in next 10 vertical bars. YO. Knit stitch in last vertical bar (14 loops). Return pass. 

5. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (14 loops). Return pass.

6. YO. Knit stitch in next 12 vertical bars. YO. Knit stitch in last vertical bar (16 loops). Return pass.

7. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (16 loops). Return pass.

8. YO. Knit stitch in next 14 vertical bars. YO. Knit stitch in last vertical bar (18 loops). Return pass.

9. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (18 loops). Return Pass.

10. YO. Knit stitch in next 16 vertical bars. YO. Knit stitch in last vertical bar (20 loops). Return pass.

11. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (20 loops). Return pass. Repeat to desired length.

Final row: sl in each vertical bar and around the corners. FO, leaving a long tail to sew sides together. Block your work if you need to. 

When both panels are completed, ladder stitch the sides together up to row 6. Weave in the ends. 

Knitted Sweater Sleeves (x2)

*tunisian knit stitch used

join yarn at the corner of the sweater panel -- front panel for the right sleeve, back panel for the left

1. Using the sides of the sweater pieces, pull up 8 loops. Return pass.

2-5. Knit stitch in each vertical bar (8 loops). Return pass.

6. Sc in each vertical bar. FO, leaving long tail. 

Once both sleeves are completed, put the sweater on the mushroom friend. Ladder stitch the sleeves closed around the arm of the mushroom friend. Stitch the top corners of the sweater pieces together.

***************************************************************************************

Skirt

Ch 26 for a tight skirt. Add more chains for looser fit. Sl to make a loop and ch 1

1. sc in each ch (26)

2. sc in each st (26). Repeat to desired length. FO. 

***************************************************************************************

Textured Skirt (on orange capped mushroom in picture)

*tunisian simple stitch used

Ch desired length of skirt

1. Pull up a loop in each chain. Return pass.

2. Simple stitch in each vertical bar. Return pass. Repeat to desired width -- I used 26 total rows for a tight skirt but you can make yours looser. 

***************************************************************************************

Shorts/Capris/Pants

*essentially the same concept as legs but slightly scaled up

Ch 26. Sl to make a loop

1. Sc in each ch (26)

2-6. Sc in each stitch (26)

7. Sc in first 13 stitches (13)

8. Sc in first stitch to make a loop. Sc in each stitch to end. (13)

9. Sc in each stitch (13). Repeat to desired length. For flared pants, add increases at row 12. 

For leg 2, join yarn to inner thigh of unworked side of pants, then repeat pants pattern from row 7 on. Stitch the crotch of the pants closed before putting on mushroom. 

***************************************************************************************

Romper/Jumpsuit

Begin by making shorts/pants. After finishing, join yarn to the back of pants in the beginning ch. 

1-6. Sc in each ch/st (26). After completing row 6, ch 1 and turn. 

7. Sc in 13 stitches. Ch 1, turn.

8. Sc dec, sc 9, sc dec. Ch 1, turn. (11)

9. Sc dec, sc 7, sc dec. Ch 1, turn. (9)

10. Sc dec, sc 5, sc dec. Ch 1, turn. (7)

11. Sc in each stitch across. FO. 

Join yarn to back and repeat from row 7 for back. Put the romper on your pal and stitch the top corners together to form arm holes.

Sleeves (regular)

*worked in the round, around the arm

1. Sc in the sides of each row of romper top. You should end up with 10-12 stitches.

2. Sc in each stitch. Repeat to desired length, FO. 

Sleeves (puffy)

*worked in the round, around the arm

1. Sc inc in the sides of each row of romper top. You should end up with 20-24 stitches.

2-3. Sc in each stitch.

4. *sc dec* 10-12 times. 

5. Sc in each stitch. Repeat to desired length, FO. Scrunch sleeve for maximum puff. 

***************************************************************************************

Overalls

Begin with shorts, pants, or skirt

Ch 11

1. Sc in 2nd chain from hook and each ch to end (10)

2-6. Sc in each stitch (10). FO.

Sew panel to top of pants/shorts/skirt, making sure the middle of the panel is aligned with the front middle of the bottoms. Make a second panel for the back if desired. For straps, join yarn in top corner of the panel and ch to desired length -- either to connect to back panel or to connect to back of bottoms.

***************************************************************************************

Backpack/Purse Base

Start with magic ring

1. Sc 5 in ring (5)

2. *sc inc, sc* repeat 2 times. Sc in last stitch (7)

3. *Sc inc, sc* repeat 2 times. Sc inc in last stitch (10)

4-9. sc in each (10). FO.

For purse strap, ch desired length and sc across ch. Attach ends of the strap to top of purse base. Weave in all ends.

For backpack straps, ch desired length to fit over arms and shoulders and sl across. Attach straps to backpack base. Weave in ends. 

***************************************************************************************

That’s it! Now you have your own mushroom pal. 

This pattern is available for free here because I don’t believe in gatekeeping crafts but if you’d like to show me some love, buy me a kofi and support my yarn habit! 

Happy crafting!

[jdevinembroidery]

A bit of silk shading/needle painting. I hope you enjoy watching some of the process.

Tips for getting started in Embroidery

Fabric

The best fabric for surface embroidery is a good quality medium + weight linen with a tight weave. But a tight weave high count cotton will work fine. You can embroider on any type of fabric, but they can be more difficult and may require either a stabilizer or being backed with a piece of muslin or calico. I also love stitching on silk, but it can be finicky to work with.

Hoop or frame

Make sure you have a good quality hoop, that you can tighten with a screwdriver or has a wing-nut. The fabric needs to be drum tight!!! Or even better, use stretcher bars or a slate frame.

Cut fabric on Thread

When you cut your fabric, make sure you’re cutting it on grain/on thread, squared. Also when you mount it in your hoop or stretcher bars, make sure that it’s on thread/on grain. Otherwise you can get terrible puckering and wrinkles.

Needles

Good, new needles are a must, I recommend Tulip brand in a variety of sizes. 5-10 is a good selection. The size depends on the number of threads you’re using as well as the fabric and type of stitch. Plus a bit of personal preference. But typically size 10 holds a single strand, size 9 holds two, size 8 holds three, size 7 holds four, size 6 holds five, and size 5 holds six.

Waste Knot

Never start your thread with a regular knot. They’ll come undone over time, leave bumps on the front and backside, and are untidy. Use waste knots to start your thread. The 3 small stab stitches are by far the most secure way to anchor your threads. Just make sure you’re placing them somewhere in the design or on a design line where they’ll be covered up by other stitches. End your thread the same way, with 3 small anchoring (stab) stitches. If you’d like a video of how to do this, let me know and I’ll send one.

Number of Strands

Usually less is more when it comes to your floss. I rarely use more than 2, normally just 1 of the six. But 2-3 is average. Just don’t let your thread twist up on itself while stitching. To untwist it, just let it hang from your fabric to untwist itself. Strip a single strand at a time, then cut just that one thread. Even if you are using more than 1 thread, it’s best to separate them individually first, then put them together into the number you’d like to use. This will help the stitches stay more smooth and even.

Thread Grain

Be aware of the grain of your floss. I always thread my needle with the non-cut end to ensure I’m stitching with the grain. Just make sure you’re pulling from the proper end of the skein (the end with the barcode tab for DMC, the opposite end for Cosmo).

Length of Thread

Cut a length of thread less than 18 inches to stitch with. Any more will wear your floss down, making it fuzzy and it will loose its shine. Use shorter lengths if working with metallic or spun silk.

Transferring a Pattern

Be wary of heat erase pens to transfer your designs onto the fabric. The ink may look as if it’s disappeared, but it just sits inside the fabric and can show back up at any time. They can also leave permanent ghost marks. They’ve ruined a few of my pieces. A better option is water soluble pens, or even easier is water soluble transfer paper. They’re wonderful for transferring the pattern and wash right out when you’re laundering your piece when you’ve finished stitching. But the best way to transfer a pattern is with prick and pounce.

Wash your Hands

Wash your hands before stitching. The oils from your hands can collect on the floss and fabric, which isn’t good for them. But washing your piece when you’ve finished will help remove anything that may have collected. I can send you info on exactly how to launder your piece when you’ve finished if you’d like as well. It also helps to block the piece. Don’t wash your piece if working with silk. Use acid-free tissue paper over the fabric to keep it clean while stitching.

I’m sure there’s a ton more I’m not thinking of, so if you have any questions or need help with anything, just let me know. Always happy to help. I can send links to everything I’ve listed if you need any of it. Happy stitching💕

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Friday 19 April 1839

6 10/..

12 25/..

rain in the night – fair at 6 but wild windy morning and rain and hail between 7 and 8 F45 ¾° inside and 39 ½° outside at 7 ¾ am Had A- with me writing copies of letters and talking breakfast at 9 and came upstairs about 9 50/.. – Had A- with me – wrote to Mrs. Hawkins – much obliged for the trouble she has taken – Mrs. Des Voeux’s letter so satisfactory do not hesitate to engage Mr. and Mrs. Gross – It may be the 22nd or 23rd of next month before we can be in London on our way to the continent – hope Mrs. Hawkins will have a corner to spare for us at that time – will write again – wrote also to Mrs. Gross that the character so satisfactory, I engaged her and husband from the tenth of May, as travelling servant and Ladys’ maid, on the usual terms, and will give the wages mentioned i.e. 40 guineas or one thousand and fifty francs per annum to Mr. Gross, and 20 guineas or five hundred and twenty five from to Mrs. Gross, and 4fr. a day to each en route, and two from a week to her for her washing – expect them to meet me in London – and if it should be ten or twelve days after the 10th of next, I will allow 3/. a day to each person of the 2 from the 10th to the time of my arrival in Dover street – sent off these 2 letters by George at 11 20/.. to ‘Mrs. Hawkins, 26 Dover street, London post paid’ and to ‘Mrs. C. Gross at Mr. Bamfords’ , 6 Dorset street, Manchester square, London post paid’ gave A- her Brodie medicine at 11 25/.. – and wrote but the 1st line and a ½ of today till now 11 ¾ am then had Booth – going to H-x to let Water-lane mill – probably to Wilson – to be bound down to time in £5 penalty per week for every week beyond the time of contract – to be done as soon as possible – ditto Mallinsons’ barn and water got to Hatters street all for A- for me to see about blocking the little window at Northgate and making the drain against Mr. Abbotts’ cottages – to get the bill for the bricks used last for the engine flue – Shaws’ man to come on Monday to finish do the plastering in the hall and Culpan to come next Monday week to wall off the shop against the old farm stable – wrote the last 7 lines and went down with A- to her luncheon at 12 35/.. for about 10 minutes she had sago and a glass of old sherry in it – then came upstairs to turn out the imperials 1st time since our return – began with A-‘s and this led to tidying her armoire – putting away elsewhere several things that had no business there – in the midst of all this between 1 and 2 Mr. Jubb came for about 20 minutes – said the sarsaparilla was so disagreeable to A- she really could not take it – to send tonight for some pills and a lavement apparatus – then at our siding again till A- rode off to Cliff hill at 3 ¼ - then wrote the last 6 lines then busy dawdling over 1 thing or other a thorough washing after cousin changing my boots etc. A- seemed better for her confiding in Mr. Jubb the pith of her   Cliff hill aunt potherations and the hurry of getting off rouses and does her good  I have enough to do and think of  wrote the last 3 lines at 4 10/.. – went out at 4 ¼ - to the meer – the water within 6 or 7 inch of running out at the meer drift to the water wheel – nobody there – to Listerwick at 5 ¾ at which moment the pumps just set going 1 of the Low moor men there and Holt – he said it was better – said I did not think it would quite answer – took too much force to stop the corves – Holt to get Hirds’ bill – his men should do more at the thing – I would send for Garforth if required – then with Robert Mann (he and his men walling at Listerwick along the road today and Joseph and co. at righting up John Oates’s garden) to give orders about skew bank at the head of the near, and getting water (to cost £5) into the paddock – home at 7 10/.. – dressed etc. dinner at 7 25/.. A- sent back Mr. Jubb’s Mr. Pickwick, 1 thick 8vo not one page of which have we read – ordered horses for Leeds at 1am [pm] tomorrow – A- read French – I asleep on the sofa – till coffee at 9 ¾ - then siding A- and I till 11 ¼ at which hour F47 ½° inside and 38° outside – tolerable day – windyish and rain threatening every now and then, and a few occasional drops – cold westerly wind this afternoon instead of the easterly winds we have had so long –

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 54]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22

It’s a cleaning day and then maybe an editing day later for what I wrote last night, so we might be doing this for a while (assuming nothing gets in my way.)

Chapter 23

Logan was unsurprised that after showing Virgil the large courtyard, Patton almost immediately decided to instigate a game of tag. They were, after all, here with the goal of getting Virgil a bit active after having had him only in Logan’s room for weeks.

He was also unsurprised that Virgil seemed confused about the concept of tag, and Patton had to explain the game in detail to him.

It made him wince, but he still was unsurprised when Virgil went about inquiring after the consequences of losing the game.

He was, however, very surprised when, after getting all of the facts about tag settle, Patton was chasing after Virgil trying to tag him and suddenly the boy disappeared.

 Patton almost ran into a wall in his confusion. He stared at his hands stretched out and just a couple of inches from touching the wall for a moment, before slowly looking up.

“Virgil!” Patton exclaimed. “What?”

“What?” he asked.

“…What are you even hanging onto?”

“The wall,” Virgil replied.

Logan walked closer to the two of them and tilted his head up to look at him. Virgil had jumped up and somehow managed to find hand and foot holes on the seemingly smooth wall. He climbed about 5 meters above their heads and was peering down at them curiously.

 “Okay,” Logan said. “New rule. Virgil is not allowed to scale walls during tag.”

Virgil frowned down at him. “Why only me?”

“Because Patton and I cannot do that anyway,” Logan said. “We would not be able to actually play if you remain up there.”

Patton glanced over at him and reached over to touch Logan’s shoulder. “No tag backs,” he said. Logan glared at him. “Why don’t you come down sweetie?”

“But Logan will tag me,” he said.

“Well, honey, that’s part of the fun,” Patton reasoned. “Don’t you want to try being it?”

Virgil seemed to consider this for a long moment. “Okay,” he agreed.

 To Logan’s terror, he simply let go of the wall, falling straight down and landing crouched. He blinked at Logan. Right. With a start, Patton took off, so he’d have a head start. “No tag backs means a 10 second head start for me,” Logan reminded. Virgil nodded, and Logan reached out to poke him in the arm before immediately running off in the opposite direction as Patton.

Logan’s strategy worked out since, knowing he couldn’t go after Logan for a few seconds more, he chose to turn and go after Patton. After finding one of the statues to hide behind on the edge of the courtyard, Logan risked glancing back.

 Virgil was faster than Logan (and likely Patton) had accounted for. Patton had gotten a good head start on him, but Virgil closed it quickly. Patton shrieked as Virgil barreled into him, bringing them both to the ground.

“Virgil!” Logan heard Patton giggle. Logan figured he was more than okay despite the tackle. “This isn’t how you play tag!”

“I combined tag and tackle hugs,” Virgil declared, making Patton giggle more.

“That’s very innovative, honey,” Patton said. “Now are you going to let me up?...Virgil… I’m counting down your 10 second head start in my head, and if you don’t let me up I’m going to tag you again.”

 This did not seem to have the intended effect as Virgil did not remove himself from Patton’s person. Patton laugh when it became clear he was not going to move and began counting down “7, 6, 5, 4, you’d better let me go sweetie, or you’re going to get tagged again.” Virgil did not seem to care. “3, 2, 1.” Patton reached up and bopped him on the nose. “Tag!” he declared.

Logan was surprised when Virgil instantly jumped off Patton at that. He whipped around.

‘Oh,’ Logan thought as the boy’s eyes narrowed in on Logan immediately, ‘I see.’

 “Virgil was already halfway across the courtyard towards him before Logan could even think about running away. There was no way that he was fast enough to outrun him. Perhaps he could outthink him, he thought. His eyes scanned his environment in the seconds he had left and landed on a large square piece of stone that held flowers in the spring. It was just full of dirt now, but it was still about waist high. Perhaps if he kept that between them, he could outmaneuver him. He sprinted towards it and scrambled to the opposite side from where Virgil was heading.

 He really should not have been as surprised as he was that Virgil did not even slightly slow as he approached the planter box, instead grabbing ahold of the side of it and vaulting over it. Logan stumbled back, bracing for impact, but instead he just got a quick tap on the shoulder.

Logan blinked at him.

“I don’t know if you would be okay with tackle hugs,” he explained.

Logan considered him. “I would be okay with a nontackle hug.”

Virgil happily jumped forward to hug Logan, pressing his nose into Logan’s shoulder. Logan chuckled and patted the top of his head. “Six,” he said, “5, 4, 3…”

 Virgil bolted away suddenly, actually making Logan stumble a bit. He paused just out of reach of Logan, looking at him with anticipation. “2,1,” Logan finished with a raised eyebrow. He already knew he was being played with, but he indulged him by starting towards him. Virgil danced out of the way, eyes alight. Logan sighed. “Is this truly how it’s going to be?” he asked.

Virgil didn’t answer, but to watch him with wide, excited eyes.

“Fine,” Logan said. He dashed towards him again, only to have him continue to maneuver just out of Logan’s reach each time Logan went forward. He’d call it taunting if there was any sign of malice in it.

 They ran around the courtyard in spirts of Logan charging at him and Virgil expertly dodging. Eventually Patton came closer to them. Logan could tell that Virgil was aware of his presence, by how he glanced back at him briefly, but considering he was not ‘it,’ it seemed he chose to disregard him. However, he was not aware of the way Patton winked at Logan as he walked up behind Virgil.

Logan, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening. He went to spring for Virgil again, and Virgil again moved to dodge, but this time Patton grabbed him around the waist, allowing Logan to actually tag him.

 He turned slowly to face Patton who started to giggle immediately at the perplexed look on his face. It cleared into something else as soon as he heard Patton laugh. “Traitor!” he claimed. “We were on the same team and you betrayed me.”

“I just thought we should probably have mercy on poor Logan,” Patton replied.

“Hmm,” Virgil said, eyes again full of that playful mischief Logan had not seen until today. “Plea for mercy not accepted.”

Patton once again half-shrieked half-laughed as he was pounced on. The two of them went rolling across the grass, Virgil clearly keeping the rolling going longer than it should have as they made it a good few meters.

 Virgil sprung off of him a few moments later.

“Oh, is it my turn?” Patton inquired with a huge smile. He slowly got to his feet. “Hmm, I’m probably at about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” He took off after Virgil, but Patton had a bit more endurance than Logan, so instead of doing quickly calculated lunges at Virgil as Logan had done, he just ran at him full tilt without stopping.

Virgil ran from him, though Logan was pretty sure he was intentionally slowing himself down a bit so Patton had some amount of a chance. He kept turning to check behind him and make sure Patton was still somewhat close as he ran.

Which is why he didn’t see the imminent disaster in time.

  Chapter 24

Thomas should have been paying more attention, but his mind had been on the meeting he’d just had with the castle guards about increased security in the wake of the possible threat from Mocnejsi. He’d decided to take a brief walk around the courtyard to clear his head but was still distracted with mulling over the options that had just been presented to him. He stepped into the castle courtyard and did not have time to step out of the way of the much smaller body rocketing towards him. Virgil slammed into his front, but not before Thomas got a good look at his face.

 Virgil’s expression changed dramatically in the few seconds between him registering Thomas was there and running into him. For the briefest moment, Thomas could see that he must have been having a lot of fun. He’d caught the wide smile and sparkling eyes as Virgil turned his head back from looking at Patton who was chasing him across the greenery. He’d looked very happy which made it all the more painful to see that happiness die in and a few instants. When his head had turned back towards Thomas, there was a flicker of confusion at something being in his path.

 Then, clearly everything about the situation registered, because his eyes blew wide in horror as he tried to stop himself, but there was no way he’d be able to in time. Thomas saw that fact register on his face the moment before he hit. Gone was any trace of happiness or joy in that split second. All that was left was dread that had no place anywhere near a children’s game of tag. It was the expression Thomas would expect from someone who felt ice give way under their feet in the middle of a lake they had thought was frozen solid.

 He hit hard, but he wasn’t nearly big enough to actually harm Thomas. Thomas was thrown slightly off balance but managed to stay on his feet. He reached out a hand to his shoulder automatically to steady the child. There was a moment of pseudo calm where they both absorbed the impact and stilled.

Then, the boy’s shoulder slipped out of Thomas’s grip as he went crashing to the ground in a move that made Thomas wince for the state of his knees. Thomas couldn’t quite grasp what was happening for a moment as Virgil face planted onto the ground in front of him, but when he did, Thomas couldn’t help but flinch and take a step back from him.

 Thomas had been bowed to before, of course, seeing as he was a king, but this was not out of respect or courtesy or even just tradition. This was out of terror. He was begging for mercy and it made Thomas feel sick.

“I’m sorry,” he said, meek and shaky into the ground, and there was almost something worse about the fact that he did not beg for forgiveness with his words, but only his posture. The way his breathes came far too quick and shallow said he was likely on the verge of a panic attack, but he was not blubbering through apologies or even not speaking at all. He gave a clear, if shaky, apology, and waited for whatever he thought Thomas planned to do to him. There was no way that was not learned.

 “You don’t…” Thomas stuttered. “You don’t have to do that. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, but he reacted in no other way. He did not even react when Patton made it to his side and knelt down next to him. Patton’s hand hovered over his back, clearly wanting to touch down, but he pulled back on that instinct.

“Virgil, honey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. No one is mad. It was an accident.”

Virgil did not react to this at all.

Thomas caught Logan’s eye as he hurried over to them himself. “Sorry,” Thomas mouthed. Logan just nodded and turned his attention to his friend.

 “There is no reason for any of that,” Logan said, his voice firm, almost clipped. “You are not in trouble. Now sit up.”

Virgil did respond to that, slowly shifting back on his knees. He kept his head down looking at the ground. “Sorry,” he said again.

“I…” Thomas said, surveying the three kids on the ground in front of him. Thomas slowly sunk to the ground to be at their level. Virgil was tracking his movements out of the corner of his eyes, his head still bowed and his shoulders tensed. “Hey,” Thomas said softly. “Were you three playing tag?”

 Virgil hesitated, eyes flickering as he debated whether he should respond or not.

“Yeah, we were,” Patton answered for him after a moment of stressful silence.

“Well that’s fun,” Thomas said. “I’m sorry for interrupting the three of you. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Virgil glanced up at him for just a moment before looking away again. Patton apparently felt it was safe enough to touch Virgil, because he settled a hand on the boys shoulder.

“Yeah, we’ve just been having a fun day,” Patton said, carefully matching Thomas’s light tone. “We went to the garden and did some reading. Then, Mr. Deknis gave us some apples.”

 “That’s nice,” Thomas replied. “He’s been talking about the new apples he’s been growing. He’s been working on them for years and they’re just beginning to bare fruit this year. I haven’t gotten a chance to try any yet. Are they any good?”

“They’re very good,” Patton told him. His hand rubbed slowly on Virgil’s back. “Isn’t that right, Virge?”

Virgil nodded a bit, a little less tense now, but still nowhere near calm.

“Well, I’ll have to try them soon,” Thomas said with a smile. “Thank you for the information. Now, I’ve got to get back to what I’m doing, but I hope you three have a good day.”

 “I’ll see you later, Dad,” Logan said.

Thomas nodded and pushed himself to his feet. “Goodbye you three,” he said before turning away towards the door back into the castle. He paused to take a breath when the door closed behind him, cutting off the courtyard. There were a lot of thoughts to shirt through in regards to that conversation. He hated that Virgil was so obviously terrified of him. Both of their two interactions had ended with the poor thing panicking on the ground. He wished he had some idea of how to help him or at least someone to talk to about it.

Maybe he’d go visit Mr. Deknis himself and not just for the apples.

  Chapter 25

“Alright,” Patton said, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. “I’ve got to go back to my room for the night. Will you two be okay?”

“We’ll be fine,” Logan said. “It won’t be particularly different than the last two weeks.”

Patton nodded and leaned to the side to squeeze Virgil in another hug. He’d been clingy since the incident in the courtyard, and Virgil had been appreciative considering he was still pretty shaky from it. He was still surprised he’d touched the king of Prijaznia (let alone ran into him) and lived to tell the tale.

“Goodnight, Pat,” Virgil said because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t leave if Virgil didn’t.

 “Night Virge,” Patton said with a smile before standing up from where they’d been sitting on the ground. He reached over to hug Logan who was sitting on a chair. “Night Lo! Put the book down and go to bed.”

Logan looked up from his book with a frown.

“It’s almost midnight,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and set his book down. “Very well,” he agreed. “We will get ready for bed.”

“You better! I’m going to come and wake you up early in the morning.”

“Early in the morning for you is 9am,” Logan scoffed.

Patton stuck his tongue out at him as he walked backwards out of the door.

 Logan gave his book a mournful look once the door closed and Virgil almost giggled. “I won’t tell on you,” he said.

Logan thought about it for a few moments. “No,” he finally said. “We should probably get some sleep.”

Virgil nodded and pushed himself to his feet.

“We should probably both take a bath after sitting in the dirt today,” Logan said. “Do you want to go first or should I?”

“Don’t care,” Virgil answered.

“You can go first,” Logan offered.

Virgil felt himself smile. “You just want to finish the chapter in that book,” he accused.

“Perhaps,” Logan conceded.

 Virgil just grinned and walked over to his closet to grab one of the outfits he’d been given for pajamas. He chose a pair of baggy shorts that went past his knees and the huge soft black sweater Logan had found in the back of his closet. He headed into the bathroom, noting Logan had already picked up his book again.

Logan may have declared the both of them dirty enough for bathing a few minutes before, but Virgil was cleaner than he thought he’d ever been before coming to the castle. Logan had taught him how to use the tub and what soaps to use for what a couple of days after he’d arrived and had suggested he clean himself regularly.

 Virgil didn’t mind. The tub was enchanted to warm the water inside of it and Virgil loved it. Though, that had the negative affect of making it very difficult to leave.

He cleaned himself up quickly, so he’d have a few minutes to just sit in the water before he felt like he needed to get out and let Logan have a turn. He changed into his pajamas, pulling the crescent shaped protection charm out of his day clothes pocket and storing the warm to the touch stone in the short pocket. He used the clip Patton had made it to pin it to the cloth to make sure he wouldn’t lose it.

 Logan was engrossed in his reading by the time that Virgil exited the bathroom. He did not look up as Virgil approached.

“Your turn,” Virgil said to him.

Logan clearly just barely managed to tear his eyes away from the book. “Right,” he said. “Yes.”

“The book will be there in the morning,” Virgil reminded.

“I know,” said Logan sadly as he set the book aside.

Logan never took much time in the bath, so Virgil quickly went about getting ready for bed the rest of the way. He put his day clothes in the basket Logan had for that purpose and started to straighten out the blankets and pillows in the closet.

 He heard Logan come back into the room a few minutes later.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “What are you doing?”

Virgil looked over at him. “Getting ready for bed,” he answered, confused.

Logan frowned at him. “You don’t sleep in the closet anymore,” Logan said. “That’s only for when we were worried you might escape.”

“Oh,” Virgil said blinking over at him. “Right.” He felt a slight pulling at his chest. He liked the closet. It was warm and soft. Patton had taken a lot of care with how he’d arranged all of the pillows and blankets. It was the best place he could ever remember having to sleep in his life. Yet, he did not argue. He knew getting to sleep out in the open was supposed to be a reward and he wasn’t about to reject it.

 Virgil stood and closed the closet. He tugged on the bottom of his sweater, stretching the fabric between his hands as he watched Logan pull down the covers of his bed and settle down onto it. Cautiously he walked over towards the bed. He wasn’t sure where he should lay down exactly. He dithered for a moment before bending down to sit on the floor near the right side of Logan’s bed and then laying down.

There was shuffling on the bed above him and then Logan’s head popped over the side to squint down at him. “On the bed Virgil,” he said.

 Virgil looked up at him in shock. “But it… I’m…” He trailed off and there were a few seconds of silence.

“It is just a bed Virgil,” Logan said.

But it wasn’t ‘just’ anything. Virgil was pretty sure touching the bed of a royal family member without permission would be considered a capital offence. At least, it would in Mocnejsi. Yet, Logan was expecting him to just… crawl into it?

“Please just get up here,” Logan said. Virgil’s caution at touching something he was definitely sure he should not be allowed to be touching wared with his resolve to repay his literal life debt to Logan by doing whatever he wanted.

 Feeling honestly a bit sick to his stomach, Virgil slowly pushed himself back to his feet. Logan scooted back over to the left side of the bed, and Virgil cautiously sat down on the empty side of the bed. After a second of hesitation he slowly laid down, his head hitting a soft fluffy pillow. He jumped when Logan flopped the covers on top of both of them.

Virgil took a long moment to absorb the situation while Logan took off his glasses and reached over to turn off the light next to him. He’d never slept in a bed before, or if he had he’d been too young to remember. In the orphanage there was a lack of actual beds due to overcrowding and there had always been someone bigger and stronger that Virgil didn’t dare fight for the use of them. During training, none of the kids had a bed. Only a few of the higher ups had ones at the more permanent training sites. There were very few situations where any of the assassins, at least a Virgil’s level, would be allowed to touch a real bed.

 The light switched off, plunging them into darkness.

“Is this…?” Virgil said, eyes still pointed towards the ceiling even though his eyes had not adjusted to the darkness enough to be able to see it. “Do you want… things?”

“Things?” Logan asked.

Virgil did not move his head, but he did reach over and put his hand slightly above Logan’s knee. Logan didn’t move, so Virgil slid his hand up.

Virgil’s wrist was grabbed immediately and pulled firmly away from Logan’s inner thigh. He did not let go afterwards, his fingers squeezing hard, but not quite painfully. “Never,” Logan said, his voice harsher than it had ever been even on the day when Virgil was nothing more than an intruder with deadly intent. “Never offer anything like that to anyone ever again.”

 “I was just…”

“I know what you were doing,” Logan said, voice icy, “and it inadmissible. Never offer that again for anything. Do you understand me?”

“I... yes.”

“Promise me.”

Virgil took a short moment to think. “I promise,” he agreed.

“Good,” Logan said, releasing his hand. His voice got softer too. “Good.”

They were silent for a long time after that, though Virgil had no delusions that Logan had fallen asleep. He could almost feel the tension.

“Sorry,” Virgil finally said softly.

“It’s not something you should be apologizing for,” Logan replied. The bed moved as Logan shifted and a hand lightly touched the top of his head. “Just… never.”

 “Okay,” Virgil said. He shifted slightly after a moment until his head was in the crook of Logan’s arm. Logan brushed the hair out of his face with the hand that had been on his head.

“Goodnight Virgil,” Logan said.

“Goodnight,” Virgil responded. They were quiet after that, though Virgil was still awake for a while yet and Logan’s hand slowly stroked through his hair for a while. Eventually though, Virgil relaxed into mattress. He stuck his hand into his pocket and curled it around the charm in his pocket. The bed was nice, he thought. It was soft and warm… and safe. He finally fell asleep.

  Chapter 26

Patton did their new special knock on the door so Logan and Virgil would know it was just him and they didn’t need to hide the fact that Virgil was sleeping in the prince’s room. He didn’t wait for a response, however, and just shoved open the door. He was surprised to see that Logan was not already out of bed and wondered for a moment if he had broken his promise stayed up way too late reading like he was sometimes known to do. Yet, then, Logan spoke from the bed. “I’m awake,” he called.

Confused, Patton stepped into the room. Logan wasn’t one for lazing around in bed; usually he was out of bed the moment he woke.

 He stepped over to the bed and had to stifle a smile when he recognized the problem. Logan was awake, but Virgil was still sleeping, and he was half on top of Logan, his arms wrapped around him.

“Why don’t you just squirm out of his arms like you do me?” Patton asked, keeping his voice low.

“He isn’t like you,” Logan said. He did not bother to quiet himself at all.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked amused.

In answer, Logan started to move as though to squirm out of Virgil’s death grip on him. In response, Virgil made a pitiful mewling sound in his sleep that landed like a piercing blow straight to the heart. Logan stopped moving immediately and Virgil shifted to grip Logan tighter.

 “Aw!” Patton said.

“It’s not cute,” Logan insisted. “I’ve been stuck for hours and I have to pee.”

Patton chuckled. “Alright, alright, I’ll save you.” He rounded the bed to Virgil’s side and crawled up on it. “Virgil, honey,” he entreated softly. “I think it’s time for me to get cuddles so Lo can get up.” Patton softly touched Virgil’s shoulder and pulled at him gently. He reached forward to carefully pry Virgil’s arms off of Logan.

Virgil made a more confused than heartbreaking sound this time, turning towards Patton so Patton could wrap his arms around him. Logan managed to scoot towards the edge of the bed.

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Logan made it off the bed and dashed towards the bathroom as Virgil’s arms came around Patton and squeezed. Patton laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. After a few moments, Virgil’s eyes started to flicker a bit.

“Good morning, honey,” Patton said softly. “Did you sleep good?”

He hummed sleepily. “Beds are nice,” he said. Patton felt a slight pang at that because it implied he didn’t get to sleep in beds very much, but he chose to shove that aside.

“They are,” Patton agreed. Virgil’s eyes started to close again. “Honey,” Patton laughed. “I think it’s time to wake up now.”

 Virgil made a sleepy whining sound, squeezing Patton tighter. “Don’t you want breakfast?” Patton asked. That question managed to make Virgil open his eyes again. “I was thinking we could go down to the kitchen to eat that way it’s nice and fresh and I can introduce you to Mama real quick.” He neglected to mention the fact that they really did not have a choice. Mr. Deknis had blabbed to Mama about Virgil, and worse, had apparently mentioned that Virgil was skinny. As soon as he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d been met with an already worked up Mama firmly insisting that she meet Virgil sometime today.

 He wasn’t going to tell Virgil that though, because he thought it might scare him away from both Mama and Mr. Deknis.

Virgil thought about the prospect of breakfast for a long moment. “Fine,” he agreed. “I’ll be awake.”

“Good,” Patton said. He reached up to bop him on the nose. Virgil narrowed his eyes and then bopped him back making Patton giggle. He sat up then, and Virgil let him. “Let’s get you something to wear and do your hair,” Patton suggested. Virgil nodded and reluctantly got out of bed, just as Logan returned to the room. “We’re going to go downstairs for breakfast,” Patton told Logan. “That way Virgil can meet my mom.” He gave Logan a significant look and Logan nodded once in understanding that this was not a choice.

 Logan and Virgil got dressed, and Patton did Virgil’s hair up nice, before Patton led them out of the royal wing. They went down the main staircase instead of the spiral staircase that went right to the kitchen, mostly because it would be very busy, and Patton thought they should probably eat in the main dining room anyway. He could feel Virgil getting more anxious as they entered the busier part of the castle, and he stuck close to either Patton or Logan from the time they hit the top of the steps all the way to the main dining room.

 There were a few people in the dining room already eating breakfast when they arrived. Virgil’s curiosity seemed to temporarily overwhelm his anxiety as he looked around the large hall and at all of the people there. Patton looked around trying to see it through his eyes. He’d been running around this place since he was little, so he never really thought about how big the room was or how grandly it was decorated, but Virgil was just seeing it for the first time. Patton smiled at him as he guided him to one of the seats. There was already muffins on the table so Patton grabbed one and plopped it in front of Virgil.

 Virgil frowned down at the muffin dubiously. “You just… keep food out in the open?” he asked.

Right.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Patton promised. “No one here would have put anything in it.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes and looked around at the other occupants of the room suspiciously.

“Honestly,” Logan said. “No one even knew we would be down here for breakfast. Nobody would just put something in random people’s food for no reason.”

Virgil gave him a look like he’d just told him people could in fact breathe under water. Virgil was really from a… whole different world, wasn’t he?

 “It’s really fine,” Patton said. “Logan and I have eaten things on the table like this a lot.”

“I’m surprised your not dead yet,” Virgil said.

Logan rolled his eyes and reached for a muffin. Virgil slapped it out of his hand and onto the floor. “Really?” Logan asked.

Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “No eating unsecured food!”

“Virgil,” Logan groaned.

“I bet you don’t even know what common poisons taste like.”

“No,” Logan said. “I don’t because I don’t worry about being poisoned on a daily basis!”

“You should!”

People were starting to look over at them. Patton shot an awkward smile at the woman a few chairs down.

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“Just don’t eat the muffins Logan,” Patton said under his breath.

“I do not understand why-”

“Because it’s stupid as he-”

“Shush,” Patton commanded out of the corner of his mouth, “people are watching, and Virgil is just a normal castle resident.”

That shut the both of them up at least.

“No muffins for now,” Patton said. “I assume it’s okay to eat the things they bring straight from the kitchen.”

Virgil looked a bit leery of this still, but he nodded.

“Good,” Patton said, “then we’ll just wait for that to get here and then everyone will be happy, right?”

Logan opened his mouth and Patton turned to glare at him.

“Right?”

 Logan closed his mouth, though clearly, he did not want to give in so easily. They’d be doubtlessly rehashing this conversation once they were alone again.

Patton caught sight of one of the kitchen workers he knew fairly well come out of the kitchen and deliver food to a group of people who were there before them. She caught sight of them and walked over likely to ask them what they wanted for breakfast. Patton watched out of the corner of his eye as Virgil tensed, eyeing her approach suspiciously and she slowed under his glare.

This was going to be a long breakfast.

  Chapter 27

After an, honestly quite aggravating, breakfast full of Virgil’s cognitive distortions about the likelihood of being poisoned, Logan was relieved to finally be able to leave the dining area. In consideration to those serving breakfast, Patton did not lead them through the door in the back of the dining room that went directly to the kitchen, and instead took them out of the room and down the hall to a different entrance. This one had a guard stationed across from it as, despite what Virgil may believe, the castle workers did consider the possibility that someone would want to sneak into the kitchen for nefarious purposes.

 Said guard, of course, saw nothing wrong with the prince and the head chef’s son entering the side door even with the bonus stranger. In fact, he may even have known Virgil could be coming through this door if Ms. Heart had mentioned him.

Though Virgil hadn’t managed to catch it, Logan knew enough about Patton’s mother that he’d surmised that she had insisted Patton bring the boy to meet her. It was bound to happen at some point anyway, Logan knew, and he wasn’t particularly worried. After all, this was Patton’s mother. Virgil himself didn’t even seem particularly concerned.

 Logan had seen him panic and, while he tugged a bit at the sweater he was wearing, the motion was not particularly fervent, so he was likely just slightly nervous.

Of course, that may be because he did not know Patton’s mother specifically wanted to meet him and just assumed that they were starting the necessary process of introducing him to castle residents with a low risk person.

When they entered the hallway, Logan could already hear the usual noises of the kitchen: the clattering of plates, the bubble of conversation, and the sound of Ms. Heart’s voice calling out instructions.

 He did see Virgil hesitate, but Logan couldn’t sus out why and Patton was already ahead of them and opening the door into the kitchen. It was fairly calm for the kitchen considering it was meal hours. Logan imagined that Patton had chosen the time between when the day guards ate breakfast before their shifts and the night guards after their shifts on purpose. There was still a bit of chaos as dishwashers attempted to catch up during the lull and a few orders were still being made, but overall the mood seemed, to Logan at least, to be light as Ms. Heart ordered her kitchen around.

 Yet, Virgil clearly did not see the situation the same way that Logan did. He froze when the kitchen door swung open and some of the workers turned to look at them. He took a step back, bumped into Logan, startled violently, realized it was Logan, and then side stepped to hide behind him. Logan looked back at him in confusion, but Virgil said nothing, proceeding to mutely peer over Logan’s shoulder.

Patton had moved over to greet his mother as she wiped her hands off on a rag. She glanced over at Virgil and Logan and Logan saw Virgil shrink back a bit.

 Logan could see Ms. Heart’s eyes soften as she tracked his movement. She turned to the woman next to her and said something before moving to remove her apron and hang it up in its designated area. Virgil’s hands clenched in the fabric of Logan’s shirt when she turned back to him.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Logan told him, but Virgil didn’t seem to believe him. Luckily, Patton had turned back and seemed to realize something was amiss.

He stepped back over to them. “Hey, honey,” he said. A plate clattered in the kitchen and Virgil just about ripped Logan’s shirt.

 Patton frowned sympathetically. “Too loud?”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “You are digging your fingernails into my skin.” Patton shot Logan a glare. “What?”

“How about,” Patton’s mom suggested. Virgil’s fingernails dug more into Logan’s skin. “We go to my office.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mama,” Patton said. “Come here, Virgil.” He reached over to touch one of Virgil’s hands and had to pull a bit to get him to release Logan. “It’s back that way, away from the kitchen,” he said when he managed to twine their fingers. He stepped around Logan, probably so there was still a buffer between Virgil and the kitchen and tugged him in the correct direction.

 Ms. Heart shot a glance at Logan and Logan felt irrationally like she was trying to read his thoughts. Logan smoothed his features out and turned to follow Patton and Virgil towards her office.

As head chef, Ms. Heart had a small office where she could plan menus without the hustle and bustle of the kitchen and have meeting with people who needed to discuss dietary needs and restrictions. It was very well organized, but still looked fairly messy because of the numbers of decorations she had in it. She had a tendency to keep everything that Patton made her, thus she had his childhood drawings on the wall and little projects stacked on her desk and on the shelves. A lumpy cat statue acted as a paperweight on a stack of papers on her desk and there was a vase of fake flowers (as it could not actually hold water) sat near the window.

 By the time Logan entered the room, Patton was trying to coax Virgil into sitting down on one of the two mismatched chairs, but Virgil was having none of it. He had turned to face the door and was yanking at his sweater in nervousness.

Logan noticed that Ms. Heart did not come far into the room, instead pausing near the door. She did, however close the door to give them privacy, and that seemed to distress Virgil more.

She seemed to contemplate him for a moment. “Hello,” she said, her voice softer than Logan was used to hearing. “You must be Virgil.”

 It seemed as though he were willing himself to magically shrink, but he still replied. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Patton’s mom.”

“I know, ma’am.”

“There’s no need to be formal, Virgil.”

He hesitated. “Okay,” he said somehow quieter.

Her eyebrows drew together in concern, and it seemed that she decided to result to her default way of making people more comfortable. “Would you kids like some candy?”

Logan saw Patton’s hand squeeze Virgil’s lightly. “That would be great, Mama.”

She nodded and walked forward towards her desk. Virgil turned so his back was never to her. If she noticed, she didn’t react. She just grabbed a small tin off one of her shelves and took the top off. “How about a peppermint candy?” she asked.

 She offered the tin out to them. Virgil stared at it like it was a venomous snake. Logan decided to act, stepping forward and taking three of the pieces of peppermint candy from the dish. He stepped over to Virgil and Patton and held out his hand, offering Virgil first choice out of all three.

He hesitated before glancing between Patton and his mother. He must have decided that Patton’s mom wouldn’t risk poisoning Patton and took one of the pieces. Patton took another one of them and popped it into his mouth. Logan ate the last piece.

“Thanks,” Virgil said to Ms. Heart before placing his piece in his mouth.

 Logan watched Virgil’s eyes light up a bit when the flavor registered. His posture didn’t completely relax, but he seemed at least a bit less like he was contemplating jumping through the window. His trust was almost worryingly easy to buy sometimes. All it took was a not poisoned peppermint.

Ms. Heart seemed pleased by his reaction. “I’m actually going to be making some new ones soon and I’m trying to get rid of these. Would you like to take another one for later?” she asked, holding out the tin.

He looked at it warily again, but he still stepped closer slowly and took another piece. “Thank you.”

 “Anytime,” Ms. Heart said, eyes looking over him intensely. “You look like you could do to with a few more sweets every so often.”

Virgil tilted his head in that way he did when he was particularly perplexed.

Patton giggled a bit. “She means your skinny.”

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Logan already gave me a malnutrition potion for that.”

“Did he now?” she asked, her eyes flickering to Logan. Logan winced. He was definitely in trouble for not bringing him directly to her. He was sure he’d hear all about it as soon as she caught him without Virgil in the room.

 She turned back to Virgil with a smile, and Logan imagined Virgil had no idea how dead Logan was. “Well, that’s a very good start, but if there was need for a nutrition potion, we should be careful to make sure you get enough calories and nutrients every day going forward.” She sat down at her desk. “Why don’t you and I talk for a bit about making sure you get some good food.”

He still looked cautious but was predictably enticed by the promise of food. He did not sit still, but he did put his hands on the back of one of the chairs and slightly lean on it. “Yes, ma’am,” he agreed.

“Okay,” she said. “Well, I’m going to have a few more specific questions, but let’s just start with what are your favorite foods?”

“I’ll eat anything,” Virgil replied immediately.

“He really likes chicken alfredo,” Patton contributed.

Virgil perked up at the name of the food. “I did like that,” he agreed.

“Alright,” Ms. Heart replied. That’s a start.

  Chapter 28

Thomas did not have to be told that something had gotten Helen Heart in a tizzy. He could tell just by the amount of food she had sent up on his dinner tray. She always made and pushed more food when she was stressed, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when he found both a hearty serving of roast beef and a mini chicken pot pie on his plate along with three vegetable side dishes and a side of macaroni and cheese.

He could also guess what had happened to illicit such a response. Thomas had caught up to Jeffers Deknis in his garden and they’d spoken at length about Logan and Patton’s new friend.

There was no way that after said discussion, Jeff had not mentioned Virgil (and more importantly his friendship with Patton) to Helen during their daily gossip sessions. There was also no way that Helen had heard the words “child” and “too small” in a sentence and hadn’t flipped. From there the inevitable sequence of events was clear: Patton went home, Helen talked his ear off until he agreed to bring Virgil to meet her, Helen met him and immediately committed herself to making sure he ate three square meals a day as well as multiple snacks.

Thomas had sussed all of that out before the kitchen worker bringing him his dinner had mentioned what had happened that day.

 That in mind, he decided to wait until after dinner should have been cleaned up before walking his own dinner leftovers down to the kitchens.

Thomas was unsurprised to see Jeff already in the kitchen. He was sat at a small table off to the side where kitchen workers usually took their breaks. The only person other than Jeff and Helen left in the kitchen was a dishwasher who was finishing up. Helen usually spent a couple of hours after dinner in her kitchen or her office organizing for the next day and in case anyone needed food on an off hour, and then there was a night cook who would take over so she could go back to her set of rooms.

 Helen took the tray of leftovers from Thomas herself and shooed the dishwasher out of the way. “I’ll handle the rest myself,” she told the girl. “You can leave.”

She nodded and started to take her apron off. Helen dumped the tray on the counter without care and turned back around to usher Thomas into one of the kitchen chairs. Thomas went willingly and she turned to fill the tea kettle with water and set it on the stove.

“It take it she met Virgil,” Thomas said to Jeff.

“She’s adopted Virgil,” Jeff replied, taking a bite out of a cookie.

 “And what of it?” she asked. “Someone obviously needs to feed the boy. Speaking of, you’re grounding your son by the way.”

Thomas took one of the cookies for himself. “Why am I grounding Logan?” he asked.

“He was worried enough about his health to make him a nutrition potion, but still did not bring him to me,” she harrumphed.

“I see,” Thomas replied.

“In Logan’s defense,” Jeff interrupted. “the boy seems rather timid. He may have worried about you scaring him off.”

Helen slapped him with a dishtowel.

“Actually,” Jeff continued. “From what I’ve gathered he didn’t have contact with anyone since the time I saw him a couple of weeks ago until now.”

 “Any adults,” Thomas corrected with a frown. “I’m pretty sure he, Patton, and Logan must have been around each other considering how close they already seem to be.” He paused, “Logan implied he wasn’t particularly… comfortable around adults.”

“I did get that impression, yes,” Helen said, pouring the hot water from the kettle into a tea pot and carrying it and some cups over to the table.

“He was incredibly jumpy,” Jeff confirmed. “I imagine he does not have good experiences with many people, but he seems to have grown attached to Logan and Patton. He defers to them in most things and seemed a bit protective.

 “Where did he come from?” Thomas asked.

“I’m not sure,” Jeff said. “I found him hiding in the garden shed a couple of weeks ago.”

“Did he sneak in?” Thomas asked.

“That’s what I would have thought,” Jeff replied, “but when I asked, he said he wasn’t trying to steal anything and that he was supposed to be in the castle. So, I’d assumed that meant he was the child of someone living in the caste.”

“But neither of us could find anyone who knew him,” Helen said. “Of course, we didn’t even know his name until now.” She seemed to decide the tea leaves had sat long enough because she started to pour them each a cup of tea.

Thomas took a sip. “Earl Grey,” he commented. “I guess I’m not sleeping much tonight.” It was her ‘planning tea.’

 “We need a plan,” she said, “but we’re going to have to be gentle.”

“At least with Virgil,” Jeff said.

Thomas laughed lightly, “and what do you plan to do with the other two?”

“I have my ways.”

Helen rolled her eyes. “You say that,” she said, “but you’re too soft. The two of them learned to run circles around you and your powers years ago.”

“We should talk to them though,” Thomas said. “Separately from Virgil.”

“We should,” Helen agreed. “I already spoke to Patton a bit yesterday, but I will again. We should see if we can ask around and find out why he’s in the castle. We don’t even know how long he’s lived here. Or who brought him here.” The look on her face told Thomas she wanted to have a talk with his guardians whoever and wherever they were.

 Helen took a drink of tea, it seemed to calm herself. “We need to make sure whatever has been happening to him is not happening in these walls,” she said.

Thomas had honestly… not thought about that. He’d assumed whatever made Virgil so skittish was in the past, but it was possible that it was ongoing. The thought made him sick.

“Perhaps you should try to talk to him, Thomas,” Helen suggested.

Thomas winced. “I am not sure that is a good idea...”

“Why not?”

“We don’t have the best track record… I don’t think me being around him would be a good idea.��

 “Oh, please, Thomas,” Helen said disbelievingly.

“No, you don’t understand,” Thomas said. “He seems disproportionately afraid of me. I think it’s a mix of me being king and how we met.”

“How did you meet?” Helen asked.

“I… gave him a bit of a fright,” Thomas admitted. “Logan and Patton weren’t in the room and I didn’t know who he was. He… ended up under the bed. Then… the second time I saw him he accidently ran into me. He freaked out again.” The memory still made Thomas feel gross. It also made him think there was a lot more to his backstory than the three of them understood.

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“Perhaps Jeff can try to talk to him then,” Helen said. “It sounds like he was calmest around you. I’ll push Patton towards taking him to the garden more often. I bet fresh air would do him some good anyway.”

Jeff nodded. “I will try to talk to him a bit more.”

“Great,” Helen said, but Thomas already knew the conversation wasn’t over. “Now we need to talk about strategic events to throw over the next few months that Patton and Logan to invite Virgil to. We’ll start slow, but we need to make sure he feels welcome in the castle.”

Thomas met Jeff’s eyes. Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 29

Virgil finished eating the breakfast Patton’s mom had sent for him. It had been going on a week since she’d made the menu for him. She sent up little cards with each meal and he was supposed to rate each thing she sent on a scale from 1-5. Logan would read it to him before he ate, and Virgil mark the little box on the card. Usually, he would put a 4 for everything (he had tried to do 5, but Logan had told him 5 was reserved for things like chicken alfredo). Three was for things that he was neutral on, 2 was for things he didn’t like but could tolerate, and 1 was for things he didn’t like. So far, the only 3 was the unseasoned porridge she’d sent one day.

 “Finished?” Logan asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said.

“What would you like to do today?” Logan asked. “Patton is busy until after lunch, and then we thought you might like to go back to the garden again. It’s supposed to drop in temperature over the next few days, so it will be the last good day for it.”

“Sounds good,” Virgil said. “I don’t care what we do today though.”

“Well, there are a few options,” Logan said.

“What do you want to do?” Virgil asked.

Logan made an expression, and Virgil titled his head. “I’m don’t have anything in particular I want to do,” he said.

“You’re lying,” Virgil said immediately.

 “You would not be interested in the activity I wish to partake in,” Logan said.

Virgil squinted at him. “I’d be interested in laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling.”

Logan chuckled. “No, truly. The activity I would do if you were not present would involve reading.”

“You can read to me,” Virgil suggested.

“…In Sanskrit.”

Virgil frowned at him. “Isn’t that, like, some sort of dead language?”

“It is,” Logan said. “I taught myself to read it to read a specific book called the Pragilium Text. It’s an encoded book that leads to a magical location that I have been trying to decode for years.”

 “That’s fine,” Virgil said. “You can do that.”

“It would be in the library,” Logan said.

“Okay.”

“But…” Logan said. “It would in no way be interesting to you.”

Virgil shrugged. “Like I said. I’m content to lie on the floor for a few hours.”

Logan frowned. “I can’t make you do that.”

“You wouldn’t be making me,” Virgil said. “I want to go. Maybe you can find me an easy book I could try to read?”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

Virgil nodded, decisively.

“Very well, get dressed and I will show you the library.”

Virgil stood to do so and a few minutes later, Logan was leading him out of the royal wing.

 Both of the guards greeted him kindly, and Virgil hunched his shoulders in a bit, but said a soft “hi.”

The library didn’t end up being too far away. It was through the small dining hall and to the left where the staircase to the kitchen was to the right.

“This is not the main library,” Logan said. “It is just a smaller one. The royal librarian comes here only about once a week to organize. Some other castle residents might come in too, but it is usually mostly empty.” Virgil could tell just by listening for a few seconds that the place was likely empty (unless someone was lying in wait).

 “I’ll look and see if there is something simple for you in case you’d like to read. You can explore a bit if you’d like,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded and stalked off into the shelves to secure the area. There were many books, not that he could quite read any of the spines. The bookcases were mostly cramped into the space. There was the open area where they’d come in with a few comfy chairs and Virgil found a desk near one of the windows. It had stacks of books including one pretty large and old one. He looked at it curiously.

 Virgil heard Logan’s footsteps approach from down an aisle. “That’s the Pragilium text,” he said.

“It’s pretty,” Virgil said, looking at the design etched into the cover.

“Yes,” Logan agreed. He reached forward to touch it and opened it carefully. The print was small and didn’t look like the letters Logan had taught him so far. There was a small map on the side that Virgil could at least guess at the meaning of.

“You can read that?” Virgil asked.

“I can,” Logan said. “Very few people can though.”

“Wow, you’re really smart.”

“Thank you,” Logan said with a smile.

 “Now,” Logan continued. “I found you a book. I apologize as its subject matter is for younger children, but it has many pictures that can help give you context when you don’t know something. You don’t have to read it if you do not wish to, especially as we haven’t gotten very far in our lessons, but I thought you might like the challenge.

He handed him the book and Virgil took it with a smile. “I’ll try to read it,” he said.

“Well, you have free reign of the library. Feel free to continue to explore and to interrupt me if you need to.”

 Virgil nodded and took the book before deciding to finish his sweep of the library. It turned out that appearances were not deceiving, and the library truly was empty. Once he was certain about that, he looked around for a comfortable place to settle down and try to read the book Logan had handed him. He found a sturdy looking bookshelf near where Logan was reading at his desk. He scaled it quickly. It was a little bit dusty at the top, but it wasn’t a bad place. It was close to the ceiling and kept him hidden pretty well, but still gave him enough room to pop up onto his elbows. If he looked left, he could see Logan down bellow with his head in the book, but if he looked right, he could see the entrance to the library.

 He pulled the book in front of him and looked at the cover. It was covered in drawings of different colored flowers. One simple white flower was in the center and there were three words on the cover. He squinted at it and silently tried to sound it out based on what Logan had taught him so far. He could guess that the larger word was ‘flowers’ based on context. So, he was pretty sure it read How Flowers Grow.

He flipped open the book. Logan was right, there were many hand drawn beautiful pictures. He could pretty much understand what was happening just from them even if he couldn’t read all of the words.

 It was an interesting book even if he couldn’t read it and it was obviously made for small children. Judging by the pictures it seemed to be detailing how plants, or at least, flowers grew through some kid planting and caring for a flower over the course of some amount of time.

Virgil had, of course, known flowers grew from seeds, but it was interesting to see things about how the stem would pop out of the seed in the ground and things about the roots growing.

He more looked through the pictures than read it the first time but had flipped back to the front to try to read the words when he heard the library door open.

 Virgil perked up in awareness, but then settled when he recognized Patton’s footsteps. Virgil tilted his head to watch as he walk directly to Logan’s hideaway.

“Hi,” he said, gaining Logan’s attention.

“Hello, Patton,” Logan replied. He glanced at the window and must have seen that time had passed because he closed his book and shuffled his papers.

“The guards said you came here,” Patton said, glancing around. “Where’s Virgil?”

Instead of letting Logan answer that question, Virgil pulled himself forward, with the book in one hand and slid off the bookshelf to land lightly on his feet next to Patton.

Patton screamed before slapping a hand over his mouth.

 Logan had placed his hand over his heart. “Where on Earth did you come from?” he asked.

Virgil blinked at him and then pointed to the bookshelf he’d been on top of.

“How long were you up there?” Logan asked.

“Pretty much the whole time,” Virgil answered.

“I…” Logan said. “I didn’t even know.”

Virgil squinted at him. “You need to learn to look up.”

Patton giggled.

Virgil turned on him. “You need to learn to case the area.”

“Oh honey, your shirt is all covered in dust,” Patton said instead of responding to his very valid criticism. Virgil frowned. “Let’s get you changed and then go grab some lunch.”

“Lunch?” Virgil asked.

Patton chuckled and grabbed his hand. “Yes, sweetie, lunch. Then garden.”

“Fine,” Virgil said. “But you do need to learn to be more observant.

“Yes, yes, whatever you say,” Patton said.

Logan just rolled his eyes.

  Chapter 30

After lunch, Patton and Logan took Virgil out into the garden to walk around. They let Virgil lead them around wherever he wanted to in the garden. A bunch more flowers had died since the last time they’d been out here, and Patton felt sad despite having never felt very sad about that sort of thing before. But, Virgil seemed to really like the flower he’d found last time, so Patton thought he was probably sad on the boy’s behalf.

Of course, Patton thought, perking up, eventually it would be spring, and Virgil could get to not only see flowers but see all of the flowers grow. Patton couldn’t wait to see him amongst the garden then.

 Virgil took them wandering through the orchard for a while, but most of the trees had been stripped of their fruits. They ended up in the food garden after a bit, and Virgil finally seemed to decide on the direction instead of just ambling about.

A few seconds after Patton noticed Virgil seemingly decide on a destination, Patton noticed Mr. Deknis kneeling on the ground a few feet away. Had… had Virgil been looking for him? Patton wondered. That was adorable.

Mr. Deknis looked up as they approached and smiled at them.

“Hello, Mr. Deknis,” Patton said as they came closer.

 “Hello you three,” Mr. Deknis said. “Getting into trouble?”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head.

Mr. Deknis gave him a flash of a smile. “I know, I’m joking,” he said. “Especially since there isn’t much left in my gardens for certain princes to destroy with experiments.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said. He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting the last of the acorn squash out,” Mr. Deknis replied. “It’s the last crop to get finished. Good thing too, it’s supposed to start snowing soon.”

Virgil looked down curiously at the dark green squash.

“Would you like to help me pick a couple?” Mr. Deknis asked.

 “Sure,” Virgil said, sounding interested. Mr. Deknis patted the ground beside him and Virgil knelt down to watch him.

“They’re not too difficult to harvest,” he said. “You just cut the fruit off the stem. You want to leave about a hand’s width of the stem left over which will help preserve moisture. The earlier harvests, I left in the field to cure in the sun for a couple weeks, but the frost’ll ruin them so we’ll take them inside the green house and let them sit in the sun for a bit there. We also want to keep the leaves. You’ll probably be eating those for dinner tonight since they have to be cooked up within about 24 hours after they’re picked. Patton’s mom makes a good side dish with them and she’ll be making some curry tomorrow, probably. Maybe some stew if there are some leftover.”

 “Put the squash in this wheelbarrow and the leaves into this pile, okay?” Virgil nodded and Mr. Deknis handed him the extra pair of gloves and shears he carried with him in case one set broke. “These might be a bit big on your, but they should work for now.”

Mr. Deknis looked up at Patton and Logan. “Would the two of you like to help?” he asked. “I can get some more equipment.”

“I can help out if you want, but you don’t need to stop and get more equipment just for me,” Patton said.

“The same for me,” Logan said.

“Well, if you’d like to help still, you can sort the leave. Give your mother a head start.”

 “Sure,” Patton said. He and Logan went to do that while Mr. Deknis and Virgil worked on cutting the squashes from the vine.

“What do you do during the winter?” Virgil asked curiously. “If this is your last crop.”

“Well, at the beginning, I mostly will be working on making sure things are stored correctly along with some of the kitchen staff. There’s some drying to do and some canning. After that’s done, I’ll spend some time organizing and planning. Then, before the spring comes, I’ll start preparing seedlings in the green house.��

“Seedlings?” he asked.

“I let seeds start to grow in the greenhouse that I replant once it gets warm enough.”

 “Why don’t you just plant them where they’re going?”

“I do for some,” he said, “but giving some a head start is good for them.”

Patton watched as Virgil continued to ask questions about gardening while working on harvesting the squash. Mr. Deknis continued to answer them in a calm, soft tone that Patton didn’t think he’d ever heard from the often gruff man before.

Patton wasn’t surprised when, after finishing getting most of the squash off of the vine, Mr. Deknis asked if Virgil wanted to help him with canning some pears in a couple of days. Virgil immediately looked over at Logan and Patton as though asking permission.

“Say yes if you want to Virgil,” Logan said.

 “Yes,” Virgil said as soon as he was given permission. Mr. Deknis smiled at him softly and started loading the last of the squash into the wheelbarrow. Patton offered to run the squash leaves to the kitchen while Logan and Virgil helped Mr. Deknis take the actual squash to the green house.

He dropped the leaves off to a kitchen worker since Mama was busy and headed back out to the garden. By the time he returned, Logan was already back from the green house and sitting by one of the more decorative trees near the castle.

“He’s exploring,” Logan said, nodding at the large patch of bushes.

 Patton chuckled. “I see.” He sat next to Logan. Every so often he’d hear the bushes rustle, but he couldn’t tell if it was actually Virgil or an animal.

“He’s adorable,” Patton commented, keeping an ear out.

Logan hummed.

“I’m glad we kept him.”

“He isn’t a pet, Patton.”

Patton rolled his eyes. “I know, but I’m still glad. I’m glad he’s making friends with Mr. Deknis. Once he knows how to read better, we should get him a book about gardening. He seems interested.”

Logan nodded. “Having a hobby would be good for him. Clearly he has a fascination with the garden.” He nodded to the blur of dark hair that could be seen through the bushes. It seemed Virgil had stopped his exploration and was now laying down in the bushes a few feet away.

 “I’m going to go see what he’s doing,” Patton said. “I’ll be right back.”

Logan nodded and Patton got to his feet. The bushes were part of a small maze that was filled with flowers during the spring and summer months but were mostly just green and brown bushes for now. Despite the fact that Patton had been able to see him only a few feet away, it took him a while to wind through the path to where he was. When he finally turned the last corner and he came into view, Patton gasped softly.

“Ghost kitty!” he said, making sure to make his voice as quiet as possible.

 Despite how soft he made his voice, two pairs of eyes shot over to him. The completely black kitten was perched on Virgil’s lap like she belonged there. Ghost Kitty hissed slightly, but Virgil reached forward to pet her head gently.

“This is Ghost Kitty?” Virgil asked. “I thought you said she was hard to pet.”

“She is,” Patton said. He lowered himself onto the ground from a few feet away from them. “How did you get her to come to you?”

Virgil glanced down at the cat and shrugged, scratching one of her ears. “She just came over to me and let me pet her.”

 “Wow,” Patton said softly. He looked at the cat. “Could I pet you sweetie?” he asked, holding out a hand in her direction. She hissed again.

Virgil frowned down at her. “It’s Patton,” he said as though he expected to understand his words and the exasperation in the tone he said them in.

He pet the cat’s head to soothe her and then reached over to grab Patton’s hand. He pulled and Patton carefully leaned a bit closer until his hand was within sniffing distance. Ghost Kitty sniffed his fingers contemplatively and then bumped her head against it. He barely restrained a squeal, knowing that probably wouldn’t be taken well.

 He carefully turned his hand over so he could stroke the top of her head. He gently scratched her ear, not daring to go for under her chin yet since she didn’t know him well. “Hi,” he said softly. After a moment, she started to purr softly. Virgil reached over and scratched under her chin and she purred louder. “Oh, you’re a good girl,” Patton breathed, letting a hand trail gently down her back once and then again. Patton settled himself carefully into a seating position continuing to pet her. After a few more moments of soft petting, she hesitantly stepped her front paws onto Patton’s thigh so she was sitting in both of their laps. Patton laughed softly. “Hi sweetie.” He glanced over at Virgil who had a wide smile on his face as he pet the cat. This. This was adorable. They continued to pet the cat for a very long time.

[eagesoldartblog]

cliche prompts - 9 with lewthur maybe?

9 Cliche (Lewthur) There's only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling

“I hate being a medium,” Arthur admits quietly. More or less likely to himself than anything, considering he was across the room, cross-legged on the bed and grumbling under his breath.

It took everything in Lewis to not flash over to him, and wrap an arm around his shoulder. Something he hadn’t considered doing in a long time since his fall… when things were better, and they all were alive.

Now that Lewis was dead, and arguably still peeved about the whole dying thing, those urges felt more out of place than anything.

And more likely than not, it occurred when he wasn’t looking at Arthur. As long as he wasn’t facing him, he would be able to revert back to that cheerful state where nothing was wrong and Lewis had more than enough love to share…

When Lewis did notice him, the glint of metal… it all comes rushing back. Arthur wouldn’t even want that affection. He was just as traumatized as Lewis was, and it was obvious in how he conducted himself. Shoulders hunched, head low, never meeting Lewis’s eye…

It hurt, but it’s not like Lewis was any different. Lewis instead made sure to avoid him at almost all cost, use Vivi as a buffer, never fully communicate with Arthur unless needed…

It wasn’t the best, they all knew that, but it was a a start in getting use to one another again. They will open up again, become … acquaintances again….

Lewis could only hope, at least.

But, tonight things weren’t going to be comfortable. Neither of them wanted to address it, but it was obvious.

Vivi wasn’t there with them in the ‘haunted’ building. Turns out, the spirit roaming the neighborhood changes its resting place every night, always going somewhere new. They had singled out the few places that would have been- a farmhouse at the end of town, and a garage a block away.

Vivi and Mystery went alone. The two of them were strong willed, whilst Arthur was still healing and vulnerable, and even if Mystery was abundantly powerful, it was easily masked, whilst Lewis could not.

So him and Arthur were left in the previous resting place, a young woman’s single room apartment that she had just moved into. The only thing moved in, was a bed in the center of the single space.

Arthur had scoffed under his breath at the realization earlier. Since Vivi has taken the van however- he was left stranded with Lewis. And the room somehow felt even more cramped when Lewis picked up on it as well.

Since there wasn’t a square foot of cleared space due to the abundance of boxes scattered across the floor… they would most likely spend the night on the same bed.

Of course, Lewis could tell Arthur didn’t like the idea. Infact, Lewis wasn’t really all about it either.

And because of that, they tried their damndest to ignore each other even more.

They ordered sushi and squeezed in at opposite ends of the apartment, barely out of the others' sight.

Arthur tried to let time pass by standing outside listening to music and reading about the town's history outside of the complex. However, Lewis’ worry only intensified at the thought of Arthur being a victim to the spirit or the locals, and he dragged Arthur back inside. Even if there was protest.

Now, it was eleven o’clock at night.

Arthur drops his phone into his lap and moans miserably, his head falling back and slouching- Lewis has half the mind to press his knee to Arthurs spine and scold him for poor posture.

But he resisted that urge, anxiously drumming his fingers against his arm as he watched him shrug off his vest. Then plug in his phone in bitterly before flopping onto the flat pillows.

Neither say anything for a moment.

“... How is she?” Lewis finally asks, risking a few steps closer to the bed.

He noticed, and Arthur grips the duvet and crawls under it, refusing to look at Lewis, “Vivi’s fine. They think the spirit is at the barn, so she’s staying there for tonight.”

“Gotcha…”

More silence. It’s prickling at Lewis more and more.

“Would… you like some help removing your prosthetic?”

Arthur shifts uncomfortably, pushing himself up, “Nah, I got it.”

Lewis nods and turns away, clicking his tongue the smallest bit as he tries to find anything to distract himself with. Only until Arthur was done, and the prosthetic was set on the bedside table.

Only then did Lewis approach more directly, trying to conceal a grimace even if Arthur wouldn’t see it. He still didn’t want Arthur to be aware of his displeasure. The fact that he was somehow disappointed - with what? Lewis… wasn’t actually sure.

Maybe it was because Arthur certainly wasn’t happy with the arrangement- Emphasized by his flinching when Lewis pushes aside the blankets and Crawls underneath with him. Lewis could have almost seen a realization bloom in arthurs head, had been even been looking. But then, Arthur flips over over, staring at him. They both freeze. Arthur’s own expression was tight and filled with concern. Scanning over Lewis and the space between them, lost in thought.

Lewis swallows back his apprehension, “Sorry I-“

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Arthur grabs his own pillow and stuffs it in between them - even though they were both on opposite edges of the bed, the pillow still took up a lot more space than expected, forcing Lewis back a few inches.

“Just for tonight,” Arthur says under his breath. It wasn’t up for debate.

The annoyance was prickling up his spine again. If he wasn’t already so tired, he would have spat something back at him, or at least commented on how standoffish he’s being over this.

Instead, Lewis grumbles a small agreement, laying down and rolling over so that way their backs were to each other.

How petty. Can't even bear to be near him for just a few hours? Pathetic.

Although Lewis couldn’t help but relate. By the smallest fraction. Just a few months ago, Lewis couldn’t stand to be in the same room as Arthur for more than an hour at a time. Sharing a bed with no one to distract them or act as a buffer would have Lewis throwing a fit.

Hopefully it won’t be too bad. Lewis thought to himself.

Sunlight filters through the partially drawn curtains and towers of boxes. Somehow creating the perfect amount of shadow that caused a single stripe of light to shine directly across Lewis’s eyes. The brightness of it burns and Lewis twitches before shifting. He opens his eyes, squinting at the light and pouting. Even if they were on a case, he still enjoyed sleeping in! Especially since sleeping is… difficult as a ghost.

Lewis sighs, stretching out his legs… and finally feeling something against his chest and arms. Too hard to be a pillow and too soft to be a box… Lewis blinks and unfolds one of his arms, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on what’s in front of him.

Gold and yellow. There’s locks of golden hair stabbing against his chin- or was his chin nestled in it? It’s rather soft- wait.

Eyes widening, Lewis silently gasps and pulls himself back, shuffling from the middle of the bed back to the side- when did he get so close? Unfortunately, the jerking wakes Arthur up. As Lewis untucks his arms from the hugging position and starts to almost push himself off the bed, arthurs jolts up. Eyes wide, searching the apartment for whatever woke him-!

And then falling on Lewis, who couldn’t stop the warmth from filling his cheeks and the embarrassment from twisting his expression.

“Were you-?” Arthur glances from him to the sheets, eyeing the wrinkles as they bunched you right beside him. Before it dawns on him as well and his face twists with a familiar sense of familiarity and embarrassment.

It was far too tense. Lewis palms the back of his head and chuckles softly, “Old habits die hard, don’t they?”

Lip twitching, Arthur turns away and grabs his phone, turning away from him, “That’s.. not funny.”

[modecaisnow]

Fitness Roommates

**This story contains topics suitable for 18 YEARS OR OLDER! Read at your own digression. This story contains themes of realistic(ish) weight gain (ie. 150 pounds – 800), mentions of challenges being overweight. This story is 3360 words, and 6 pages long, was gonna be part 1+2. This was a story I had saved for a bit. ENJOY!**

[This story follows Tyler and Zach, a dynamic duo of health and fitness. Zach, a bodybuilder with all the know how of exercise, and Tyler, a healthy and fit nutritionist, have teamed up and opened a business together. However, their business has gotten slow and not as many people are getting memberships anymore. As a marketing experiment, Tyler agrees to pack on some weight with the ultimate plan to lose it all following their dieting and exercise plan. But, it turns out gaining weight is a little more enjoyable than Tyler expected.]

Zach and Tyler have been friends for years. They first met in their freshman year of college, and Zach and Tyler were both fitness buffs. Their bodies were toned with dense muscles, but Zach was much larger. Zachary studied Athletic Training and Tyler studied Nutrition over the years. After 4 years of college, they decided to open a gym together and become business partners. Zach would help train people and show them how to exercise, and Tyler would teach them about nutrition. However, a couple of years later things have changed. Zach walked into the living room of their apartment. His face was akin to a greek god – high cheekbones, square jawline, and a strong nose. He was a tall, tan-skinned, with a body covered in rippling muscles. From his thick neck and massive traps to his softball-sized calves, which everyone used to tease him and call them ‘steers’, Zach was the personified ideal of fitness. His broad shoulders and flared out lats created the classic ‘V’ shape all bodybuilders aspired to get. His arms were absolutely massive, with cannonball-sized biceps, horseshoe triceps, and forearms that were as large as a normal man’s biceps. Zach’s torso and legs were just as impressive. His barrel chest must’ve been 60 inches and was covered in brown hairs. Beneath his meaty pillows that were his pecs was a wall of abs that looked like bricks. A dark trail of hairs led down his carved abs and into his boxers, which were being stretched from both ends. Zach was blessed with large junk in the front and a lot of junk in the trunk. His bubble butt was made of pure steel and bounced along everywhere he walked. Further down were two thick quads with equally powerful hamstrings. Bellow the knees were the most well defined and muscular looking calves anyone has ever seen. Tyler, on the other hand, was not nearly as much of a ‘greek god’ as Zach. He was very toned, but also on the skinny side. His face was square with a pointed chin and a sloped nose. His hair was cut short, and he didn’t have much facial hair. Being a nutritionist, he knew all the ins and outs of healthy eating and dieting. He was part of the reason why Zach looks the way he looks. He kept Zach on his meal plan. Tyler has helped countless gym-goers reach their goals faster and easier with the help of his dieting plans. Tyler looked up at Zach. He stood in his boxers in front of the TV, blocking his view of it. Zach crossed his arms, causing his large slabs of chest meat to squeeze together. Tyler grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. “Is everything okay, man?” Tyler asked. “We have to talk about business.” “What’s up?” “It’s been slow recently-“ “-Yeah-“ “-and I have an idea,” Zach sat down on the brown, cloth couch next to Tyler. Zach widened his eyes and tried to look innocent. “Well, …what’s the idea?” “Well, bro, what if we have an experiment where one of us puts on some weight, and then we both work together to try and get that person back to a healthy weight?” “That might be good, but it might take too long. We need people to join now, not after months of gaining and months of losing weight.” “Well, with our expertise, we’ll be able to lose the weight pretty quickly,” Zach snickered. “Also, I’m sure you know of some quick weight gain techniques.” “I mean…I guess,” We both sat there quietly for a moment. Zach continued to stare deeply into Tyler's eyes. “So…do you want me to put on the weight?” Tyler hesitantly ask. “…Do you mind?” “I mean…I guess…” Zach jumped up. His face brightened up and he fist pumped into the air. The two immediately started to plan out how this would work, and Tyler got to work researching foods and gaining techniques. He started planning out a grocery list filled with unhealthy fats, carbs, protein, sugars, as well as a plan for minimal movement for himself. Zach started to create exercise plans so when Tyler finishes putting on the weight they’ll be all set to take off the pounds. Before starting it all, Tyler stepped up on the scale to take the initial weight. He was 154 pounds. At first, gaining was an awkward feeling. Tyler’s flat abs slowly started to look more and more like a gut. He was continuously shoveling food into his mouth, even while at work. It made it difficult to work with new patients, given that their nutritionist was eating junk food, and had a little bit of a belly while trying to give tips on staying healthy. After explaining the experiment to every single patient, they all seemed to understand. After the first week of constant binging, eating even while Tyler was stuffed in order to expand his tank of a gut, he had managed to pack on 15 pounds. His flat wall of abs had officially become a rounded, flabby belly. When he sat down, it would flop over the waistband of his pants. Tyler’s hips were stretching his pants to their max. The waistband would dig into his hips, and his thighs actually ripped the seams of one of his favorite pair of pants. And still, Tyler continued to gain weight. He added more meals into his daily diet and doubled the serving sizes. Tyler added two snacks between meals, as well as a “weight gain” shake between snacking. All this food, along with his restricted movement, helped him gain weight exponentially. Tyler’s face was looking rounder and fuller. His arms were softer and would stretch the sleeves of his tightening shirts. The once toned chest started to sag down over his belly, which was spilling down lower and lower towards his crotch. Even his pubic area was softer – a layer of fat was forming and starting to creep towards his junk. Everything about Tyler was getting flabbier. This continued for weeks. Tyler had to expand his entire wardrobe. One day, when he went to sit down, his shorts gave in and ripped all the way down his ass cheeks. From that day on, Tyler only wore stretchy pants – no more khakis, or dress pants, just the stretchy kind. His shirts also went from XL to XXL, and then just as quickly to XXXL. Tyler was officially 330 pounds. His chest continued to sag lower and lower as his belly continued to get larger and larger. Tyler had patients who were as large and some who were much, much larger, and they used to tell him what it was like to be big. However, now he lived it. The sagging breasts slid and rolled over his belly, which seemed to weigh him down. As Tyler walked, he needed to lean back a little bit so his substantial belly wouldn’t pull him down to the ground. Even sitting in chairs, which now had to not have armrests so his hips could fit, he needed to slouch and lean back so his belly could spill over his lap. It was quite the feeling. After a while, Tyler started to like it. It felt nice to be big, but he didn’t feel big enough yet. Zach asked him if he was ready to start their little experiment. Tyler told him that he wasn’t ready, and Tyler asked for a couple more weeks – business picked up anyway since it was about a month away from New Years. Tyler continued shoveling fattening treats into his mouth. Serving sizes became even larger, he went from 6 meals a day to 9, and he started doubling the size of the gainer shakes. This was to help break out of his weight plateau. His arms started to feel even heavier, and Tyler’s thighs always brushed against each other. His feet also started to get fatter, to the point where he needed to purchase ‘wide-fit’ shoes. At night, he would slouch on the sofa, which started to feel slightly smaller, and he would balance a 60ounce cup of soda on the crest of his soft belly, and slurp it down. All while lazily watching whatever was on TV. After chugging the entire soda, Tyler would rub his belly to help with all the bubbles. His blubber was warm and malleable. He could no longer see his belly button, or feet as a matter of fact, but Tyler could still poke a finger in the deepening cave that was his belly button. When he waddled onto the scale, it showed he was about 423 pounds. Eating only got easier and easier as the holidays came. Zach and Tyler usually went their separate ways to see their respective families, since Zach’s are out west, and Tyler’s are up north, but this season they had decided to just relax and focus on the experiment. Tyler continued to bloat up and shovel food into his face, and now that holiday cookies were out and on sale, he made it his goal to eat at least 3 boxes of cookies a day. Zach would tease him and say that Tyler surpassed ‘Santa-size,’ and Tyler laughed along with him. Deep down, he was excited to see how far he could push this. Tyler’s neck had officially disappeared into the fat on his shoulders and chins after a couple days of gorging. Actually, his chins were now flopping onto the crest of his flabby chest. Tyler’s moobs hung down, almost as far down as his elbows – not quite, but close. His fat arms started to feel very heavy. Despite always being hungry, after hours of grabbing for food, it started to feel like an arm workout. When sitting down, he would have to spread his legs far apart to give his substantial belly room to flop down. On the topic of his belly, a fold had started to form above his belly button, creating the double-belly look. Tyler’s belly was getting hard to contain in shirts, so instead, he started to get even larger pants to pull the waistband over it. Speaking of, Tyler’s pant sizes went up a lot faster than his shirt sizes did. He needed extra stretchy, 6XL pants in order to try to contain his growing belly. The fat over his junk also grew, making it hard to reach down there, as well as use the bathroom. However, he figured out how to manage in both areas. Tyler started to just sit on the toilet when he needed to pee, and just reach around and push his fat pad down towards the toilet bowl. Tyler also started to sleep on his side at night, it was much more comfortable, and whenever he’d need to shift his belly, Tyler could just dig a finger in his belly button like a hook, and shift it manually. After the holidays went, Tyler stepped on the scale for the first time in a few weeks. He was officially 546 pounds. Zach was proud and impressed. He asked Tyler when he would want to start buying healthy foods and start training. Tyler told him to instead buy a larger scale. Zach looked a little concerned at first, but Tyler explained that in order for them to make a bigger impact, they would need a bigger test subject. Zach eventually agreed and continued to go along with everything. He even did buy a larger scale, one that went up to 850 pounds. At this point, food became really expensive for them to afford on their own. In order to eat a meal every hour, on the hour, the two needed to dip into their company’s profit. It would be fine since it would all work out in the end. Thanks to their excellent accounting skills, Tyler was able to eat as much as he wanted, when he wanted. Tyler truly blew up in size after this. Walking became really difficult…well, if you can call it walking. It was more like a waddle. Tyler mostly spent time sitting on the couch, eating, watching TV, with the occasional trip to the fridge, or to the front door to great the delivery boy. After a while, Zach mentioned it would be best that he didn’t walk too far, so he moved the fridge into the living room, and anything else that was needed, he would get for Tyler. Tyler rarely went to the gym anymore to meet patients in person. Instead, Zach set up an online messaging system for him to reach out to their “premium” customers. That way they wouldn’t be able to be turned off by what a huge blob of lard Tyler was becoming. His ass cheeks started to take up a considerable amount of space not only on the poor little couch but in his bed as well. Tyler was just about as wide as his full-sized mattress, so Zach thought it was best to buy him a larger one. Zach was about to buy a larger sofa too but figured that he didn’t need to since he never really sat on it. Zach was rarely in the living room anyway, unless it was to drop off Tyler’s next heap of food. He was always working or working out. Shirts and pants both struggled to contain all of Tyler. Folds and rolls of flab started to ripple and slide over one another as he walked, hiccupped, or burped. His breasts had become so large that a pillow of flab had connected his moobs to the wings of back flab. This gave Tyler’s arms more support, which made it less work to shovel food into his fattening face since all he needed to do was just bend his elbow. Tyler’s cheeks were very fat and flopped down his face and onto his shoulder flab. Sweat almost constantly dripped down from his brow, and he was almost always out of breath. When Tyler finally stepped on the scale, he was up to 623 pounds. He still shoved on…well, he still shoveled more food in. At this rate, he was just eating one large, nonstop buffet of food a day. Tyler was always ordering pizzas, Chinese takeout, donuts, and delivery from every fast food joint in a 10-mile radius using those new food delivery apps on his phone. Tyler continued to gorge, slurp, and chomp down food for a few more weeks. As it got closer to the end of January, he had officially changed his wardrobe to 12XL shirts, and God only knows how many X’s for his XL sweat pant shorts. It was interesting to wear them because, with each day he grew fatter and fatter, one could see the ends of the drawstrings slowly disappear, as they were pulled deeper into the expanding stretchy waistband. As Tyler’s stomach grew so did his fupa. It became impossible for him to reach even close to his fat pad anymore. Whenever Tyler used the bathroom, it came to the point where he would have to just sit and pray that it went in. His old technique of digging into that deep belly button to shift his mound of a gut had officially been rendered impossible. Tyler couldn’t reach down that far anymore. Tyler sat on the ever-shrinking couch, with his ass cheeks spilling outward on both sides and behind him by a foot, and shoved more food into his deep mouth. His moobs had officially started to hang lower than his elbows, which were now a series of folds of flab. Tyler’s arms were incredibly flabby and even when he raised them over his head, some of the fat would still be weighing down against his torso. That massive belly of his hung down, past his knees as he leaned back. Tyler’s fat feet didn’t fit in normal shoes anymore, and Zach had to measure them to get custom made ones. Tyler was a mound of flab, and he loved every soft, wobbly inch of it. When Zach finally brought the large scale into the living room, Tyler placed his feet down and rose up off the couch. He was officially 710 pounds, and he was not quite done yet though. Tyler had one more goal he wanted to reach– to officially take up all the space on the couch. Zach, after trying to convince him that enough was enough, finally caved in and agreed to help Tyler gain even more weight. To do so, Zach raised the price of their gym membership. He told people it was for “marketing purposes,” and most people thought it was a good idea. Little did they know, it was to stuff Tyler’s fat face with food. It only took a couple weeks before he met that goal. It was hard to increase the frequency of Tyler’s feedings, so instead, he increased the amount he stuffed in at one time. Since his cheeks had bloated up, Tyler found there was more room in his mouth to hold food. As a result, he ate multiple pizza slices at once, instead of one at a time. He also would dump food in by the containers. This included containers of french fries, chicken nuggets, candy, Twinkies, devil dogs, breadsticks, bowls of pasta, you name it – Tyler just dumped it in. It must’ve been the sight to see. His downstairs neighbors hated it though. They had started to leave complaints about an “elephant” walking around, making their ceiling rattle. Tyler used that as more fuel to his fire. He continued to stomp around his apartment like the whale of a man he was, in order to get to his next source of food. The ground would groan and the couch would creak with every little shift of motion. Tyler’s folds and rolls of flab rippled and jiggled as he chewed, burped, hiccupped, scratched, pretty much any type of movement caused him to undulate like a waterbed. Tyler’s arms were extremely heavy and tremendously difficult to move. However, his insatiable desire to eat and feast gave him all the strength Tyler needed. As his hips started to finally touch the armrests of the couch, he called out for Zach. Zach was thrilled. Not only for Tyler, but also for the publicity this would get the two of them and their business. Tyler couldn’t help but smile and think about how much larger he could get. To celebrate, Zach went all out and hired caterers for the evening. That night, Tyler went all in on the food. The caterers pulled in carts, and tables of food, and set them up all around Tyler. They all circled around him, and he would eat from whichever one was in front of his fat mountain range of a body. As Tyler finished off one table, they wheeled the emptied table away, and immediately wheeled in the next one. He just ate and ate and ate all evening, until there was absolutely nothing left. Tyler probably could’ve eaten a little bit more, but his arms were incredibly tired. As the caterers all funneled out of their place, Tyler’s stomach gurgled and growled for more. He rubbed and pat his fat sides with his hands sending tiny ripples reverberating through his gelatinous form. Tyler leaned forward and moaned as he felt his heavy love handles slide against the armrests of the couch. His folds all glided against each other, and the two massive ass cheeks seemed to rise up out of the deep crater they formed in the cushions. He was massive. Zach quickly grabbed the massive scale and placed it right under Tyler’s fat feet. His massive thighs made it hard to keep his feet close enough to stand on the scale. Zach grabbed Tyler’s fat fingers and pulled him up onto his feet. Tyler’s bulky flab slid off of the couch and flopped downward. As he stood up, the scale buzzed. “What…does it…say?” Tyler huffed, out of breath from standing. “It says ‘Error.’ Damn…” Zach muttered and smiled. “What’s the…weight limit?” He wiped the sweat from his brow. “850 Pounds.” Tyler was massive…and he loved it… -THE END-

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 42 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Hello darlings! The saga continues… Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Pearl’s eye started to wander and Violet set out on a quest to truly prove herself.

This Chapter: Aiden struggles with envy, Adore learns something extremely disturbing about her girlfriend, and Violet makes a friend in the park.

***

“Oof!” Katya held the sweater she was knitting in front of her face, blocking the view of the TV. “Oh god, that scene gets me every time.”

“I can see why this is one of your favorites.” Violet smiled, her pencil paused on her sketchpad as she watched Nancy’s powertrip, The Craft a surprisingly good film.

They were sitting on the couch in Trixie, Katya and Pearl’s apartment, Katya sending Violet a text if she wanted to come down and watch a movie.

Violet had learned early on that Katya despised people who were on their phones while watching movies, but that crafts were allowed, which was probably also why Katya had asked her specifically since Max was out of town. Pearl, Kim and Shangela were all on the no movies list, while Trixie was apparently walking on ‘thin fucking ice’ as Katya herself had said.

“I was a witch once.” Katya smiled, going back to the pink sweater with purple clouds she was knitting, the size of it making it clear that it was for Trixie. “Who doesn’t like a side of blood magic?”

Violet smiled, shaking her head as she turned her attention halfway back to her sketch, her hand doodling flowers along the lapel of the jacket she was working on.

***

“Kiara?”

Aiden was having a perfectly good day until she came over.

It was a little after lunch, the cafeteria serving the chicken he liked. He’d been working on some sketches, fairly satisfied with his progress so far, the days going by so fast.

He was on track to have almost 10 different looks finished by the end of the day when they had to turn them in, and so he was certain that he’d be getting into the Spring collection.

He had been perfecting a sleeve, when his pleasant thoughts had been rudely interrupted by Violet’s voice, as she approached their station to talk to Kiara.

“Hi,” Violet was holding a black portfolio in her hands, her pink nails tapping on the black vinyl. She was wearing a pair of black high waisted pants, a belt cinching in her waist and a long sleeved silk top. “I was wondering if I could see what you were working on for the Spring prêt-à-porter collection?”

“Sure? Kiara looked surprised, but she still grabbed her own stack of sketches, Kiara one of the few designers that still preferred to do everything by hand. “Why?

“I heard that you’re doing a jacket,” Violet put her portfolio down, “and I’m thinking of doing a jacket, so I just want to make sure we’re not submitting the same thing.”

Of course Violet was thinking of submitting a jacket.

“Scared of the competition Chachki?” Aiden was about to reach for his own sketch, his centerpiece for his spring submissions a jacket as well.

“No?” Violet looked at Aiden, her big brown eyes unblinking. “Why would I be?”

Aiden was about to open his mouth to respond when he realized that there was no point, his hand falling down.

That girl was just so incredibly condescending, and he hated her for it.

“Here we go.” Kiara said, gesturing to her sketches, tapping on the 3 versions of the jacket that she was going to submit.

“Hmm.” Violet peered at them, nodding. “Good. We’re not doing the same at all.”

“I showed you mine. Are you gonna show me yours?” Kiara asked, and Violet giggled, pulling out her own sketches.

“Deal,” she said, flipping open the portfolio.

As curious as he was, Aiden decided not to look, burying his head in his own work, now more determined than ever to get that jacket spot.

***

“Babyyy, pay attention to meeee,” Adore whined, tugging on Pearl’s top, attempting to nuzzle into her neck as they were on the bed. Pearl had invited her over for dinner, but the second they’d finished Katya’s famous twice-baked potatoes and garlic chicken (and several bottles of wine), she’d pulled out her laptop and begun working on content for Galactica’s new website.

Adore had never seen Pearl work after hours before. She was slightly shocked to see her do any real work, to be honest, imagining her position at Galactica to be purely schmoozing with brand reps and taking high-profile selfies at fancy events.

“Sorry, I have to finish this shit tonight.” Pearl finished the last of her wine and pressed a quick kiss to Adore’s forehead before going back to her computer, her fingers flying over the keyboard, Pearl actually typing at a surprisingly impressive speed.

“But…” Adore knew she was being a brat, but really, what was Pearl’s rush to finish something this late anyway? Would anyone even be ready to receive it? “Please-”

“Dore,” Pearl sighed, actually looking down at her. “I need to turn it into the site designers before midnight tonight. I thought I’d have time at work, but there was an influencer emergency and you know how those bitches get.”

Adore didn’t, in fact, know how influencers got, the realization that she knew absolutely nothing about Pearl’s work slowly creeping over her.

“I tried asking for extra time, but Fame said no.” Pearl pressed space, her short nails clacking against the black keys of her Macbook. “And unfortunately, eating her pussy right now for a favor is out of the question.” Pearl huffed. “Believe me. I tried.”

“What?” Adore’s hand froze on Pearl’s waist. “You tried what?”

“Eating her pussy?”

Adore sat up, rocking the bed. “Pearl!”

“What? You know that me and Fame used to hook up. We’ve done it for years.” Pearl turned to her with a curious expression. “They didn’t tell you?” Pearl raised a brow. “Huh.” She bit her lip, going back to her laptop. “I thought for sure they would when they were all freaked out about us getting together.”

“They?” Adore asked, trying to keep her voice from getting shrill.  “Who is they?”

“Fame mostly” Pearl shrugged, “but I thought Bianca would have had something to say.”

“Wait, so...sorry.” Adore squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clear her mind before asking, “You and Fame used to hook up, and Bianca knew about it?”

“I assumed? I don’t know for sure, but why else would your sister hate me?” Pearl paused typing, a cheshire grin on her face. “I’m delightful.”

Adore could feel her heart pounding in her throat.

“And you… You were gonna...you were gonna cheat on me with her?”

“Cheat? Wha - No!” Pearl closed her laptop, putting it to the side before she turned to Adore, shaking her head. “I’m not cheating.”

“It sure as shit sounds like it.”

“We never talked about being exclusive? So I just figured…” Pearl shrugged, and Adore wanted to hit her. “You’re a really cool girl, and I thought you didn’t care about stuff like that.”

“Well…” Adore’s mind raced. She’d been so ready to get angry, throw an absolute fit, but Pearl calling her cool was having the effect of pouring aloe onto inflamed skin. “I mean...I guess that’s true, we never talked about it.”

“It’s 2014. Everyone who’s not an absolute square is open these days,” Pearl continued.

“Is that… I mean, so…” Adore swallowed hard. “So you want an open relationship?”

“I’m not running around town fucking everyone I meet, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just think like… We know how we feel about each other? So why worry about oppressive hetero-normative rules?” Pearl punctuated her question with a charming smile, and Adore could feel herself melting.

“Yeah, that...makes sense.”

“See, this is why you’re the fucking best.” Pearl closed her laptop and kissed Adore gently, cradling her head, and every last ounce of anger dissipated into thin air.

Well...anger at Pearl, anyway. She’d deal with Miss Goddamn Fame and her traitorous sister tomorrow.

“Don’t you need to work?” Adore asked, pressing into Pearl’s embrace.

“I’ll go in early tomorrow,” Pearl said, moving her lips to Adore’s neck.

Adore sighed happily, lavishing the attention, sure that being with Pearl was worth it.

***

Courtney had gotten to the office before 6 am to prepare for the Friday design meeting--organizing the nearly 400 sketches into categories, making scans and copies and mounting the originals on card stock, each one numbered for easy reference. In the end, she had a tabbed binder for each of the attendees with high-quality copies, just barely finishing by the time Miss Fame strolled in at 9:30.

They’d been at it for awhile now, and what had begun as an orderly review with everyone on the same page had devolved into chaos, tension high as people defended their opinions. She stood in the corner of the conference room, feet already aching in her 4-inch heels, trying to follow the rapid-fire conversation, Raja and Trixie bickering about pant length and Pearl tearing out the pages she didn’t like, tossing them to the floor.

“This skirt on 42 is nice, but it looks complicated. How much would it cost to manufacture it?” Pearl passed a sketch to Bendela, who was the head of the tailoring department.

Bendela examined it closely, before proclaiming, “At least $700.”

Pearl pulled it out of her hands, dropping it on the floor with the other rejects. “Bye!”

“Well, hey now…” Alyssa flipped to the same sketch in her own binder. “Maybe it wouldn’t work for the stores, but it’s still good. Could we save it for a potential runway look?”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Sure, but that’s not what we’re doing today.”

“Why don’t we put it aside and give Jovan some notes for runway?” Trixie suggested.

“That’s literally what I just said,” Alyssa snapped.

“I know, I’m agreeing with you!” Trixie exclaimed, handing her a fresh Red Bull. “Here, have some more gogo juice.”

“I really like this top on 27, but it would have to be a bit shorter to work with the other separates,” Alaska drawled, and Raja nodded, jotting down a note on the corresponding page of her binder.

“Yes, it’s pretty. What do you think, Fame?” asked Raja.

“It would be pretty, if it wasn’t in this disgusting color,” Fame said.

“Non-disgusting color coming right up!” Trixie said cheerfully, scribbling a note on the page.

“Trixie, I do not appreciate your tone.”

“Sorry Miss. You want to see something great? Check out Maxwell’s suit options. Starting on 104. He really outdid himself this year.” Trixie let out a loud chef’s kiss.

“Awww, thanks coach!” Maxwell said.

Courtney shifted, stretching a little, and noticed that Miss Fame had finished her coffee. Relieved for an excuse to move, she slipped from the meeting, grabbing her coat on the way to the elevators. She got Fame’s usual order as quickly as possible, along with her preferred apple cinnamon muffin to have on stand-by in case her blood sugar was having its usual pre-lunch dip, and returned to the 25th floor, shocked at the face that greeted her in the lobby when the elevator doors opened.

“Adore?”

“Courtney! Thank god. This bitch wouldn’t let me into Fame’s office-” Adore gestured towards Roxy, irritated, who gave her an equally dirty look in return, “And I need to talk to her.”

“Well…” Courtney beeped her access card, shooting Roxy an apologetic smile and saying, “Thanks, I got it.”

Once inside, she tossed her coat over her chair and turned back to Adore, who was rattling the doorknob of Fame’s office like a crazy person, pounding on the door.

“Fame? Fame, open up!”

“Adore…” Courtney touched her lightly on the shoulder. “She’s not in there. She’s in a meeting, with like, the whole senior design and marketing teams right now, and-”

“Well, I need to talk to her, right away.” Adore was clearly agitated.

“Are you okay? Can I-”

“No! I’m obviously not okay! I need to talk to her, now-”

“Okay. You wanna wait here until they break for lunch?” Courtney asked. “I can’t really ask her to leave without-”

“No, I want to talk to her. If you don’t want to interrupt, I will. I don’t give a shit about her meeting.” Adore charged forward, and Courtney caught her by the shoulders.

“Wait! Okay, I’ll tell her you’re here and that it’s urgent. Please, just…”

Adore seemed to begrudgingly accept this plan, crossing her arms and sitting on the edge of Courtney’s desk. “Two minutes and then I’m coming in.”

Courtney took a deep breath and made her way towards the conference room, trying not to wring her hands on the way. She was worried for whatever was making Adore so upset, but she also couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little at her demanding attitude. It wasn’t something that reared its head terribly often, but when it did...hoo boy. Spoiled brat Adore was by far the worst version of Adore--petulant, entitled, unyielding. Courtney prayed that she would get through this tantrum without a scene.  

Courtney re-entered the conference room, handing Miss Fame her coffee and then turning to a fresh page in her notebook and scribbling out a note, trying to be as concise as possible.

Adore Delano here. Very upset. Needs to talk. Says it’s urgent.

She underlined “urgent” before showing it to her boss, hoping that she wouldn’t get scolded for her friend’s behavior.

Fame glanced at the note and then stood up, clearing her throat.

“I have to go attend to a family matter,” she announced, “but I’ll be back shortly.” She gestured vaguely to the empty chair beside her seat, indicating that Courtney should stay and take notes.

Courtney quickly sat down, pulling over Miss Fame’s binder.

***

When Miss Fame entered her office suite, Adore was there, pacing around. She looked physically fine, which was a relief, but Fame was still concerned, knowing that Adore wouldn’t come to her, not in the middle of the day like this, unless something terrible had happened.

“Hello darling, what on earth is going on-”

“Don’t fucking darling me!” Adore snapped, catching her off guard, and Fame took a deep breath, opening her door to her office and ushering Adore inside before firmly shutting it. For one thing, it would give them some privacy. And for another, it would make sure that no one passing by saw Adore’s messy hair and booty shorts.

“Is anybody hurt?”

“Fuck you!”

Fame sighed, locking the door. If she was going to screech like a maniac, they may as well have as much soundproofing as possible.

“Now, Adore-” Fame began, but Adore immediately interrupted.

“What the fuck do I have to do for y’all to stop treating me like a fucking child?!” Adore burst out, and Fame couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“A child? Since I was at your 15th birthday, I don’t think that’s very fair-”

“Don’t change the subject!” Adore shouted, looking genuinely upset, her hand shaking.

“What is the subject, dearheart?” Fame took a step forward, but Adore stepped back. Fame could feel her panic rising, wondering if something was actually wrong with Bianca, if anyone had gotten hurt. “I think we missed a step here-”

“Pearl! Pearl, is the fucking subject!” Adore jabbed a finger against her chest, Fame looking down.

“Adore!” No one had done that to Fame since she was a child, the action incredibly upsetting and weird.

“Specifically,” Adore poked her, “you,” poke “fucking her.” Adore looked up, her eyes filled with anger. “Is that clear enough?”

“Oh.” Fame’s heart sank, the secret apparently out. The last thing she ever wanted was for Adore to get hurt, but here they were. “How did you…” Fame looked over her shoulder, making sure the door was locked, hoping that Courtney was still in the conference room.

“Look at me!”

“How did you find out about this-”

“Pearl told me!”

Fuck.

“She apparently thought that you’d told me already.”

“Good god.” Fame closed her eyes briefly, cursing herself for not being more explicit with Pearl back in September. “She really shouldn’t have done that.”

“She?!” Adore yelled. “Why didn’t you? Why do you all fucking tiptoe around, protect me like I’m a goddamn infant?!”

“Adore-”

“I’m 24 fucking years old! Half of your employees are younger than me, and I know for a fact that you don’t treat them like delicate little babies-”

“Please. Calm down, I don’t-” Fame held up her hands. “Please.”

“I’m not a child.”

“You want the truth? The grown-up truth?”

“Yes!”

“Me not telling you about my…” Fame made a vague gesture, “history with Pearl. That wasn’t to protect you. That was to protect myself.”

“What…” Adore looked momentarily thrown by this, her anger replaced with confusion, and Fame pulled her onto the sofa, taking the opportunity to grasp one of her hands.

“She’s my employee, Adore.” Fame rubbed her thumb over Adore’s hand, gently caressing it. “We may have had an understanding between us, but…” Fame sighed. “Nobody else would--could understand.”

“You mean like your husband?” Adore shot back, face twisting once more into anger. “I can’t believe you would cheat on him, that you would-”

“I would never ‘cheat’ on Patrick. He knows everything. You don’t need to worry about my marriage. But I mean that if my...Interests came out publicly, it would be very damaging to my professional reputation. That’s what I feared.”

“And you didn’t trust me?”

“I don’t trust anybody with things like this, Adore. So instead of telling you, I just...broke things off with her, and made sure she knew how much I love you. That I would be very angry if she mistreated you.”

Adore bit her lip, taking in what Fame had said, her blue eyes misty. “You went behind my back and told my girlfriend to be nice, or she’d be in trouble? Don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

“I’m sorry. It was a bad decision, but it wasn’t because I was trying to baby you. It was...it doesn’t matter. I can see now that I should have told you instead.”

“Yes. But…” Adore sighed. “I guess I understand why you didn’t.”

“I’m glad,” Fame said. “Thank you for that.”

She pulled Adore close, hugging her tightly, trying to show how sorry she was. When Bianca had taken custody of Adore nearly ten years earlier, Fame felt like she shared the responsibility to look out for her.

She knew, of course, that sometimes that meant that she was overprotective, and maybe even patronizing, but she couldn’t help it: Adore would always be a sweet baby to her, someone who had been through hell far too young, who deserved to be a bit spoiled and sheltered.

“There’s one more thing I need to know,” Adore said, still chewing on her lip.

“What is it?”

“Does my sister know?”

Fame took a deep breath, tucking a lock of Adore’s fading purple hair behind her ear. “She does. But she’s the only one. Besides Patrick. And now you. And she promised me, swore on her life, that she’d never tell.”

“Hmm.”

***

“We’ll get the results tomorrow, and it isn’t that I’m like, nervous nervous, I just hope I have done a good enough job-”

Sutan smiled as he listened to Violet chat, the fact that she was actually sharing her honest feelings about Galactica’s prêt-à-porter collection feeling like a big deal.

Sutan had asked Violet out for lunch since he was already in midtown for a meeting, the two of them now walking hand in hand around Central Park, Sutan drinking coffee while Violet was sipping on tea. The air was crisp, Autumn leaves covering the ground, the people of New York taking in the beautiful day.

“Sutan!” Sutan felt a pull on his hand, Violet stopping dead in her tracks. “Sutan, look!”

He turned his head, not even registering what was happening before Violet had shoved her tea and bag into his arms, letting go of him to make a beeline towards a couple that were walking a small dog.

“Excuse me-” Violet cleared her throat, catching the couple’s attention. “Can I pet your dog? Please?”

“Of course!”

The couple smiled, and Sutan watched as Violet crouched down on the ground, quickly taking off her gloves and handing them to Sutan so the pug could sniff her fingers.

“Hey there, hello gorgeous, hi,” Violet smiled, her hand soon running over the puppy’s head, scratching it behind the ears. “That’s it, that’s a good boy.”

Sutan tilted his head. He had never seen Violet interact with a pet before, and somehow, he had assumed that she would be either a pet hater or a cat person, but she looked genuinely happy, and completely in love with the dog.

“What’s his name?”

“Dough. It’s his first trip to Central Park, he’s been looking forward to it all week.”

“Really?” Violet looked up, her smile never wavering as she chatted with the couple about the dog. “Oh Sutan, look how cute he is.”

“He’s very-”

“Who’s a good boy?” Violet grinned, cutting off Sutan as she scratched the pug’s chin. “Who’s a good boy?”

Sutan took a sip of his coffee, hiding a grin as Violet’s bag dug into the crock of his elbow. He had never seen Violet so willingly talk to strangers, had never seen her be so overly excited about anything that wasn’t related to fashion. He took another sip, pocketing Violet’s gloves as he watched her play with the dog, a sense of calm washing over him as Violet made Dough chase his own tail.

[misslisterkeepsajournal]

1831 Monday 10 October

7 55/.. 11 55/..

Up at 7 and lay down (went to bed again) - fine morning - Fahrenheit 64°. now at 8 35/.. - breakfast at 8 50/.. - got a man as guide took Cameron and George and out at 9 40/.. - walked to the Dockyard in 10 mins. [minutes] - waited there 10 mins. [minutes] and then, a party of 7 or 8 besides myself being assembled, an intelligent sort of person took us in charge, and we began the round at 10 and it took us till 11 50/.. - I was beginning to make pencil notes as usual but the man said it was not allowed - I was not expecting to find this the case in England - however it was no great matter -

Went 1st. to the mast-rooms - masts of all sizes - the old ones took larger timber - those now made consist of from 30 to 52 pieces - apparently squares about 6 inches square and about 20 feet long? - saw the main mast of the victory (100 guns) - 52 pieces and would weigh about 12 tons - of american pine as were a great many of the masts - then passed the store (lying out) of anchors, an amazing quantity - 5 anchors for each vessel - saw those for the Nelson § [Margin - vide next page] (120 guns - will in reality mount 134 or 136) weighing above 97 cwt [hundredweight] - all of wrought iron welded together - would take 17 men a fortnight to weld one anchor - each anchor for the Nelson would cost ten or eleven hundred pounds - then to the ropery - rope cables 22 inches in circumference the thickest 27 inches circumference, but chain cables most used now -

Then to the anchor forge - the anchors moved to and from the fires by cranes - they used to have enormous bellows 6 or 8 yards long and 4 men to blow them by treading on them very hard work - now (for these about 10 years) have a constant current of air kept up and stronger than ever before produced by 2 barrels (about 4 1/2 foot diameter) something like a churn half filled with water turned backwards and forwards by 2 men - 2 valves - one in each half of each end - so that when the water falling to one side shuts the valve and presses the air out into the tube communicating with the fire the valve of the other half the barrel opens and lets in air which is the next turn pressed out by the falling back of the water as before - there being a tube from each of the barrels meeting in one tube near the fire, there is by this means a constant current - one of the gents. [gentlemen] present observed that at Mr. Guest's iron works at Merthyr Twydvil in South wales, the bellows the largest in existence was a steam engine which pumped up air thro' a large cylinder - I must see these far-famed works -

Then went to the copper furnaces and rollers these are merely for the old copper - all the new copper is bought by contract in sheets ready done - the copper when taken liquid from the furnace in ladles is put into moulds forming plates of perhaps 1 1/2 feet by 1 foot and perhaps 1/4 inch thick - these are eventually rolled out (at twice) into four thin oblongs perhaps 3 1/2 by 1 foot - when rolled out to the last size, they are rubbed over with some acid, put into the furnace till red hot, then suddenly thrown into water on which the outside blackish coating immediately peels off and the copper appears that bright red copper colour we peculiarly call and know by the name of copper colour - inquired but could not learn what was the acid the sheets were mopped over with - they said it was an acid - a particular composition - the sheets were lastly put upon a roller that marked them thickly over with anchors in such sort that it is easy to know government copper -

The man too in passing an old rope pulled out one single green thread from one of the twists or threads of the rope - but mentioning the forges and furnaces I should have said that from the store of anchors we went to the block machinery (very curious) all turned by one centre wheel turned by a steam engine which was partitioned off from us so that we did not see the engine itself (of 50 horse power) - saw a block made from the square piece of Elm (because Elm does not fly off in splinters) to the last finish of the copper-eyed lignum vitæ (because very hard wood) pulley (what did the man call it?) and iron pin which fastens it within the block for the rope to run on - the man who worked the machinery that polished the iron pin was not there that we merely saw the principle of his machinery and how it worked - these 3 men (the Elm man, lignum vitæ man, and iron pin man) during the war made 12,000 blocks a month and supplied the whole navy - they are not in full employ now - tho' they still make for the whole navy - the man shewed us a large new building (enormous almost square span of roof) for making boilers for the government steamers - none yet in hand there - only a few iron tanks to mend -

From the copper furnaces, went on board the Indus 80 gun ship building these 4 or 5 years and still only (I think) the hull done - built on a new principle - diagonal timbers all along her inside in squares diamondwise so that if she strikes, she cannot spring a plank and directly fill with water and go down - 16 or 17 inches thick of timber covering of these diagonal timbers - what an immense machine! what strength! how mighty is man! how mightier far the wave that snaps his work in pieces like a bit of glass! the Indus built partly of English partly of African oak - then pass the Nelson § [Margin - § vide last page] built in India? of teak - has undergone a thorough repair - where laid up smear them all over with a yellowish composition to keep them from dry rot and roof them over to keep the weather from the deck -

The HMS Indus, finally launched from Portsmouth in 1839 [Image Source]

Left the Dock yard at 11 50/.. (no difficulty - had merely rung the bell, and asked to see it) - took boat at 11 55/.. and rowed off to the royal George (of which Lord .. Fitzclarence is Captain) the royal yatch that the late King went to Ireland and Scotland in - has 70 men - 310 tons (I think) - but what ever she is Lord Yarborough's yatch the Falcon lying near, and looking like a man of war, is tentons ten tons more - this last mounts 14 six pounders, and can take care of herself when the guns not mounted the gun carriages fit up as wash-stands! 50 men? the royal yatch a magnificently fitted up vessel - great deal of gilding without - great deal of comfort and luxury within - the rooms or cabins hung with a glazed calico (up these 15 years) that does and looks admirably well - shut-up chairs, the most excellent travelling concerns I ever saw - by Edward Bailey upholsterer etc. to his majesty mount street Grosvenor Square - an admirable wash-stand that holds a bed - capital for any dressing room - these too of Bailey -

From the yatch rowed across to the new victualling offices close to Gosport - we should have had an order to see them? but did not take any pains to get admitted - an enormous brick pile, - a large square projecting part of it towards the water standing on columns - then rowed forward and landed in Cold harbour Gosport - walked along the works, and came in at the far end of High street very good street very soon passed (left) the neat small house of Mr. Titcher and then near it same side the large 3 or 4 story (brick - all the town brick) best house in the town? of Mrs. Page (has been for some time confined to her bed), Mrs. Henry Priestley's uncle and mother -

Went into the handsome market house and reembarked close to there and in about 20 mins. [minutes] rowed off to the Victory the ship on board which Nelson was killed at Trafalgar - saw the spot where he fell - near (close to) the prow skylight - then went down to the 2nd deck (or mid-deck?) where a court martial was sitting admiral Sir John Gore president - Captain Lord ... Fitzclarence sitting, and 4 or 5 more officers at the table - Backhouse (1st. mate?) versus Captain Belcher of the Ætna bomb - Captain B- [Belcher] brought Backhouse to court martial, and then Backhouse brings the captain to ditto for lastly cruelty and unofficer like conduct and and several other charges that went before - 25 mins. [minutes] there - Backhouse seemed giving rather uncertain evidence - within musket shot and clear day yet could not tell whether signals were up or not - hurried off at last because when Backhouse was called on as to the last charge he said he could not repeat the word Captain Belcher used because there were ladies in the court myself and Cameron and a lady or famale [sic] person what shocking nonsense! I waited for no more but hurried off vexed that there should be such humbug should -

The HMS Victory, Lord Nelson’s flagship at the Battle of Trafalgar, can still be seen at the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard [Image Source]

High water now abouts (at 2 1/4 on leaving the Victory) - rowed down to near the entrance to the harbour (about 1/4 mile across) and landed near the round fort that defends it at 2 40/.. - sent home Cameron and George to get all ready for being off, and myself took the guide, and walked round the ramparts - soon came to what they call the King's steps where the King lands, a sort of small squary windowed ornament tower - but a battery? there - and several batteries all along - very strong place - double moated and ramparted - from just beyond the Kings stairs magnificent views of Spithead, Isle of Wight, see Ryde quite plain - Fort Monckton and its barracks, and Haslar hospital and Gosport, Stoke just beyond it, and Anglesea Crescent the Duke of Norfolk began about 2 years ago (2 miles from Gosport - near Stoke) for a watering place, but the work is not going on just now - 'Tis Portsmouth only within the fortifications - beyond these is Southsea (quite a town and Southsea castle a low thick round fort about a mile from the rampart where I stood) - then Portsea where the docks are, then on the other side the harbour Gosport - at high water a mile across - finest harbour in the world - the largest ship ride in safety - but if they should get aground it is only in mud, and the next tide gets them off unhurt - the new custom house a large pile of building, and immense government store houses close by - High street and 1 or 2 more good streets and 2 or 3 pretty good churches in Portsmouth -

Went into bookseller's shop near the George, and bought Portsmouth guide - no plan of the town in it - no plan of it allowed to be published - the George hotel (Guy) High street - very good hotel, and not dear considering - my expenses were more than usual, but I had dinner 4/6 and 2 bottles soda water 1/6 and servants dined I suppose when I sent them back for their expenses were 11/. - my wax lights and good sitting room were 2/6 and beds 5/6 and all that and the rest as usual - back at 3 25/.. -

Settled all and Off from Portsmouth at 3 42/.. - soon passed under the 2 covered ways (arches) and over the 2 wooden bridges - part of the last a drop bridge - still town, Portsea, or Southsea, or something, for a considerable distance the whole backed by the chalk range of Portsdown - at I suppose about 4 miles from Portsmouth (at 4 10/..) pass port's bridge, 2 wooden bridges over 2 canals or fosses and a military station like a french porticoed barrière close (left) by the road - then at 4 1/4 a short distance Portsbridge turnpike and then at 4 1/4 the neat enough little town or good village of Cosham - my once for a moment idea of staying there and taking horses thence to Portsmouth, would not have answered - the George Inn the best apparently is quite like a common Inn, and one at which one would not think of stopping, save on a pinch - at 4 17/.. turn (right) at the end of Cosham down to Havant, a village-like little town - neat enough little place posting Inn, the blackbear - a continued street for some distance - neat little liveable cottages (left) along the road - sea and shipping now and then right - Range of down (good sheep pasture) all along at a little distance (left) - 5 1/2 p.m. late enough for seeing anything now -

Enter Chichester at 5 55/.. - pass the cathedral close (right) - a lengthy, fine enough looking church - then beautiful gothic pinnacled rotunda, or market cross, or what, in the middle of the street and then immediately wide good street and alight at 6 at the Swan hotel - very good small sitting room opening on to balcony towards the street - good bedroom another flight on 2de. [secunde] and very comfortable - tea at 6 1/2 - sat over it till 7 3/4 - musing, as I had been all the way this afternoon and as I have done perpetually since seeing yesterday morning the gothic windows at Cowes -

On the plan for altering Shibden hall so as to make it liveable - put such gothic windows as at Cowes into both gables - take the drawing room end groundfloor and above for bedrooms and dressing rooms - take away my uncles room and butteries leaving only room enough for light stairs - Gothicize the passage like that to the courthouses at Norwich - pull away the kitchen part and parlour and all that instead of which add to the breakfast gable a part to correspond with the present hall and beyond and joined to that another gable extending backwards length enough to allow that is wanted - then taking a light gothic passage off the upper kitchen and likewise off the new hall-corresponding-part and all thro' the new gable everything would be comeatalbe [sic], and there the whole suite of rooms to the south opening into one another - new gable, or drawing room? new hall-corresponding-part, or dining room? present breakfast room enlarged by all the present upper kitchen but enough for gothic passage - present passage gothicized and perhaps heightened and lightened by the present library, present hall thrown up to the roof, and present drawing room fitted up as a French dress bedroom - the present passage would have 4 gothic doors - 2 on each side, at each end - 2 opening into the hall (with billiard table?) and 2 opening the one into the new passage along the upper kitchen etc. the other into the present breakfast room - the ground falls so rapidly to the East, that I think laundries and cellars etc. might all be under the new gable -

Very rain-threatening day but fair - raining heavily now at 10 35/. p.m. and has been for some time - great deal of rain fell during last night, too - Fahrenheit 64°. now at 10 35/.. p.m. at which hour had just done all the above of today - came upstairs at 10 50/.. -  

Reference: SH:7/ML/E/14/0132 - SH:7/ML/E/14/0133

[near-seth-experience]

I made Cookies & Cream Fudge :D

I made this for the first time as a Christmas treat for a family get-together back in 2014 or 15 based upon a recipe I found online, and it was a hit. I decided to make it again this year, but I didn’t keep the initial link or write it down. I ended up referring to this one from allrecipes for the ingredients/ proportions and then improvising because it’s honestly pretty simple.

I wanted to make a post sharing the recipe because:

Stuff sucks, and sweets tend to make life more bearable.

I made something and it’s tasty, so I gotta flex a little.

Sharing tasty things is one of the best ways to spread holiday cheer.

Writing the recipe and instructions out will help me remember it and give me something accessible to refer to for next time.

Materials:

Large sauce pan

8x8 or 9x13 inch pan to hold the finished product as it hardens in the fridge.  It’s easier to cut into smaller pieces if you use a larger pan like the 9x13, but I used a glass 8x8 square pan, which made the overall brick turn out a bit taller.

A sturdy spoon/ anything that’s good for stirring

one of those rubber spatula thingies that I don’t know the name of.

Wax paper/ parchment paper to line your 8x8 / 9x13 pan with. I honestly don’t know if one type of paper would be better than the other. I don’t have the most culinary intelligence. I used parchment, and it didn’t give me any trouble when it came time to peel it off.

Hands with less arthritis than mine, or a cooking buddy. Not gonna lie, the stirring got really tough as it thickened.  I made this solo because I was in a rush to make sure I had it ready in order to send some in a package to my Grandma later, but if there wasn’t any urgency I would have absolutely waited until my dad got home from work just for the extra pair of hands.

One Gallon-sized Ziploc bag.

A good knife for cutting a fudge block into smaller pieces. I used a normal butcher knife.

Ingredients:

One standard package of Oreo cookies. 

I used the entire thing, and it was a 14.3 ounce package. I didn’t think to count, but according to the serving size information, it would have totaled in at around 36 oreos. you could absolutely use other whatever Oreos you feel like for this, although I’d only recommend Double Stuffed if you’re a mad lad. The end result turns out rich enough with just the basic bitch Oreos, but hey, go wild.

One 14oz can of Sweetened Condensed Milk

18oz baking white chocolate. the allrecipes link above suggested three 6oz packages of baking squares, but I just used one and a half 12oz bags of white chocolate chips because I felt like it might have melted easier due to the smaller pieces. I doubt it makes much of a difference though.

Salt the allrecipes link says 1/8th of a teaspoon, but I just shook a tiny bit into my hand without measuring and did one of these into the sauce pan:

but with obviously much less sex-appeal.

Instructions:

1. Put Oreos in the one-gallon ziploc and beat it up I tried to crush them into pieces roughly the size of 1/4th of an oreo, but it doesn’t matter all that much since the fudge will harden around it, and you’re gonna be cutting the entire block into bite-sized pieces later.

2. Line your 8x8 / 9x13 pan with your wax/parchment paper before you start making the fudge proper.  Don’t be like me and scramble to do it in the middle of stirring.

3.Set the oreos aside, and dump the condensed milk and white chocolate into the sauce pan Warning: I felt like a dumb-dumb when I put all of the ingredients in at once. It made it REALLY difficult to continually stir as it melted because it ended up being much heavier on the spoon. It would definitely be better to just start with the condensed milk and maybe 12 oz of your white chocolate, and add the rest of white chocolate as you go.  

4. Do the Salt Bae you can also do this step at any time during the melting process you’re sexier than me, so you can no doubt pull this off. I believe in you.

5. Melt the contents of the sauce pan over a low heat, stirring continuously to keep anything from sticking to the bottom or sides of the sauce pan Warning: It thickens very quickly, so be mindful and make sure everything is prepared before starting. Seriously. I ended up buying myself a little time by adding a small splash of Half-and-Half into the sauce pan while I was stirring. Absolute panic-move, not gonna lie. I don’t even know if it mattered, if I’m honest. It didn’t effect the end-result, so I dodged a bullet there. If you know better than I do, and this ended up actually being a sound tactic, I think milk would be an alternative to Half-and-Half.

6.Once the fudge is melted and dummy thicc, remove it from the heat and start dumping in the crushed oreos. I used the rubber spatula thingy and worked them in with a vertical, slightly elliptical motion. I was kind of reminded of one of my favorite gifs, so maybe it’ll help:

The more dust and fine oreo pieces you pour into your fudge, the more gray the fudge will turn out. So if you care about presentation and want more of a white chocolate color to it, try to only add whole pieces. That never gets old lmao

7.Dump the entire thing onto the paper in the other pan, using the rubber spatula thingy to help level it out and fill the corners. 8.Refrigerate for at least 2 hours, or until it gets hard.

9.Remove it from the fridge, flip the fudge brick out of the pan, peel off the paper.

10.Cut the brick  I used a butcher knife to cut it into big ol’ chunks seen in the picture above, but once I’m preparing to serve it to family this Christmas I’ll be dicing it into much smaller pieces, roughly the size of a one-inch cube or a D20 or something, so people can put a few on a plate with the rest of their treats or whatever.

Notes:

It takes more time to gather the materials and do all of the prep than to actually make the fudge. Once it gets going, it doesn’t take long at all.

I  just took a slice off of one of the big chunks to try it, and it’s so rich that I would not recommend eating more than what is shown in the sparkly-eyed selfie below in one sitting....

Image taken moments before regret. But... like... delicious regret.... oh god.