#that wig was fighting for ITS LIFE

[ourlordapollo]

Holy fuck when the attorney is ace *clenches fist*

Anyway I took this on top of a ferris wheel after running around an amusement park for 8 hours on 2 bubble teas & a White Claw (and no water) and boi I took that wig on SO MANY ROLLER COASTERS and that shit did NOT BUDGE and also also I forgot my fucking tie and ppl kept asking if I was Spike Spiegel

[squeakadeeks]

"I am but a grain of sand in an ocean of stars" 💫🪐✨⭐️

JESUS H. CHRIST

Stardust Cookie's cosplay is finally done _(:3」∠) to tell true this costume was actually pretty quick in the grand scheme of things, but it felt like eons. Which is largely due to the nature of this costume, Stardust has two 3/4 circle capes with multiple layers of trim that I ended up calculating to be around 160 feet of hemming....AND a whooping 610+ LEDs (100 in the wig alone) smashing my previous LED record from Wadanohara.

This costume was a huge gamble since I dont like making big things like capes and Stardust's design was not an easy one to translate IRL (he also took over my entire bedroom). I was griping the whole time on this project BUT I really like how this costume turned out. I'm seriously so happy with the outcome!!

[hauntingblue]

Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭

Look at her 😭😭

[beeapocalypse]

haunted once more by a dumb character idea

[masatos-wig]

bad news boss. 100+ hr bg3 save file again? 5th one im afraid boss.

[thankskenpenders]

The Knuckles show

The announcement of a live action Knuckles streaming miniseries was surprising, to say the least. I mean, what would such a show even be about in a version of the Sonic universe with no Angel Island and barely any characters from the games around? Is he gonna go treasure hunting with the gang from Montana or something? Would a streaming miniseries have the CGI budget to squeeze in any new game characters, even briefly? Rouge? Amy? At least one member of Team Chaotix? Anyone?

Now the show is finally out, and it turns out what they actually made was a comedy show about bumbling deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, the minor comic relief character played by Adam Pally who you might not even remember all that well from the first two movies, with Knuckles as his sidekick. While, yes, Knuckles does get a decent amount of screentime and opportunities to punch bad guys and do cool moves from the games, large stretches of this show focus on Wade's personal life, to the point that a couple times I almost forgot I was watching a Sonic-related show. If you're judging it purely by the metric of how well it adapts and engages with its source material, this surely must be one of the worst adaptations the Sonic franchise has ever seen.

So then, despite some huge complaints... why do I kinda like it?

(This will contain full spoilers for the Knuckles show.)

A brief summary of what the show is actually about because I know half of you aren't going to watch it

The show picks up not too long after the end of the second movie. Knuckles is now living in Montana with Sonic, Tails, and the Wachowskis out of a sense of debt to them, though he doesn't really see it as his home. He doesn't feel like he belongs on Earth, and his life currently lacks direction. After communing with the ghost of Pachacamac, though, Knuckles is instructed to keep his culture alive by teaching "the ways of the echidna warrior" to a new apprentice: deputy sheriff Wade Whipple, who's currently more concerned about winning a bowling tournament in Reno than anything else.

Things are complicated by the interference of two rogue GUN agents - Agent Willoughby, played by Ellie Taylor in a bad wig, and Agent Mason, played by Kid Cudi. (Yes, the artist behind the second movie's credits song is one of the bad guys in this.) They want to steal Knuckles' power and sell it to a former associate of Robotnik's played by Rory McCann (The Hound from Game of Thrones), who now works as a black market arms dealer. Yes, they're still doing the thing where Sonic and friends' quills radiate some kind of super-energy that the bad guys all want. No, I don't particularly love this element of the Paramount Sonic continuity. Anyway, they go after Knuckles and Wade, complicating their straightforward road trip to Reno. Antics ensue.

The Wade show

So here's the thing. While the first episode focuses largely on Knuckles, the entire rest of the show is very much the story of Wade, and by extension the other original human characters invented for this miniseries.

Episode 2 is about Wade having to rescue Knuckles from captivity after the GUN agents get him. Knuckles spends most of the episode in a cage.

Episode 3 is about introducing Wade's Jewish family, including his slightly overbearing mother and weird sister, so that Knuckles can learn about their family traditions and have Shabbat dinner with them (and then save them from bounty hunters that the GUN agents hired).

Episode 4 only features Knuckles at the very beginning and very end of the episode, probably for less than a minute total. Wade is captured by a bounty hunter he personally knows, and Knuckles decides to let that be a trial for Wade to overcome on his own.

The last two episodes feature the climactic showdowns with the GUN agents and their arms-dealing ally, who comes in with a mech for the obligatory final boss fight. You'd think this would be Knuckles' time to shine, but really, these episodes are mostly about the bowling tournament in Reno where Wade encounters his estranged father, wrapping up his own personal arc. While Knuckles does get some fights, a lot of the finale is spent on lengthy bowling scenes where Knuckles isn't in the room or even mentioned. It frequently feels more like a spiritual successor to '00s sports comedy movies like Dodgeball, Talladega Nights, or Blades of Glory than it does a part of the Sonic franchise, and the presence of ESPN 8: The Ocho commentary in the finale only drives those Dodgeball comparisons home. They get so immersed in the bowling stuff that it's genuinely hilarious when the show suddenly pivots and remembers "oh shit we still need to do the final boss fight"

Throughout all this, Wade is the protagonist. He's the character we spend more time with, he's the character who drives most of the major events, he's the character who gets more of an arc. The emotional core is Wade's journey. Knuckles is still present - sometimes, at least - but he's there as Wade's wingman, and also just as the excuse for there to be some fight scenes.

How much Sonic stuff is actually in this show?

Honestly? Not much.

Sonic and Tails are only in the first episode. Sonic gets some good scenes, but Tails gets a grand total of five lines. I counted. Unsurprisingly, Jim Carrey is absent as Robotnik, though he does get mentioned a fair bit. (For that matter, basically the entire established human cast beyond Wade is absent, even including Tom, though Maddie is there in episode one.)

GUN is involved in the story, which helps it feel slightly more connected to Sonic, but it kind of feels like it's GUN in name only. They don't use any recognizable GUN tech, and they don't call in the military. It's just two agents in suits. They might as well be the Men in Black.

The Master Emerald is mentioned as something Knuckles has to guard, but it's never seen. Angel Island is pictured as a drawing during the show's intro, appearing exactly how it does in Sonic 3, but it's never referenced at all beyond that.

I guess the climax taking place in and around a Reno casino is a reference to Sonic's many casino-themed levels. That's something. I'll give them that.

Oh, and if you're wondering if this is the point where we finally start to get actual music from the games: no, it's not. The soundtrack consists of a lot of '80s needle drops, many of which are generic Hollywood picks like "Holding Out for a Hero" for the billionth time, thought it at least has some slightly less obvious picks than the Mario movie. The theme song is '80s rock song "The Warrior" by Scandal. You'll hear it many times. You'll hear the Adventure era Knuckles raps zero times in this. You'll briefly hear classic A Tribe Called Quest song "Can I Kick It?" before Knuckles takes the question too literally and breaks the radio in Wade's car.

Beyond a handful of surface level references for nerds (one of which is admittedly wild - we'll get to that), this is probably the least an officially licensed adaptation of Sonic the Hedgehog has ever tried to actually engage with its source material. I struggle to think of another Sonic adaptation that has less to do with Sonic. For as much shit as I and countless others have given Penders for seemingly ignoring the content of the games in favor of building his own convoluted mythos, his Knuckles comics honestly included way more elements from the games than this show does.

Somehow, the one new(-ish) Sonic character introduced in this is the ghost of Pachacamac of all characters. Not even Tikal! Pachacamac! A very minor character nobody has particularly strong feelings about! You can't even use the excuse that they already had the character model, because they completely redesigned him compared to his cameo in the first movie to better match his Sonic Adventure design. And he's voiced by Christopher Lloyd! Honestly, so many of his lines are strained that it sounds like he's on death's door here, but then he'll surprise you with a more casual line like "just do it, man" and it catches me so off guard that I can't help but laugh.

Pachacamac here has basically nothing to do with the game character he takes his name and appearance from. Where the game character was a cruel warlord who kicked off a 3000 year cycle of violence, Paramount Pachacamac is now just this chill old man who gives Knuckles (and later Wade) advice in two episodes of the show. Hell, he also feels completely disconnected from his established role in the movies, where he's literally the guy who shot Longclaw. The show will not grapple with this contradiction at all. He's just here to be a thing fans like me will recognize from the games. Again, if that's all they wanted, it's kind of baffling that they didn't just use Tikal.

I don't love Knuckles in this

But what about Knuckles himself? Well, he doesn't feel all that much like Knuckles to me. Ironically, he sometimes feels like one of the weaker elements in his own show.

Back when the second movie came out, I noted that Knuckles' characterization seemed to be pulling heavily from MCU Thor as a gallant warrior from an archaic alien culture who doesn't really understand modern day Earth stuff. That worked for me in that movie. It was just there for spice. Just a little extra flavor for the character in what was otherwise a very faithful adaptation of Knuckles' storyline in Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Without those familiar elements grounding him and with a much higher reliance on comedy, Idris Elba's Knuckles becomes a pretty one-note character in this.

In damn near every scene with Knuckles, he's going to say something about being a proud, honorable echidna warrior, or brag about his glorious feats of strength, or be confused about some Earth thing and call it sorcery, or act like every other character is also a member of some noble warrior clan. He still has his moments for sure, but this schtick kinda gets old fast, and it just doesn't feel like Knuckles to me. His entire character feels derived from the scene in the diner where Thor smashes the cup on the ground and goes "Another!" Sure, I can picture game Knuckles smashing a radio to turn it off and being a little too gung-ho about busting holes through walls. That's Knuckles behavior. But building a barbarian combat pit in the living room so the Wachowski family dog can fight the mailman? Nope. That's some other guy now. It really does just feel like them taking a broad character archetype from something popular that kinda sorta fits Knuckles and just running with that, rather than trying to actually adapt the character.

Oh, but don't worry, he wears the OVA hat for like two minutes! AND he loves grapes! See, Sonic nerds? We read the wiki! That's his favorite food! Grapes! This is gonna come up like five times!

Knuckles kind of gets an arc here, but not as much as Wade does. I think the stuff about him starting to feel at home on Earth thanks to Wade's mom and the way he connects with their Jewish family traditions is oddly sweet. This arc is kind of let down, though, by the fact that Knuckles' heritage is treated as a complete joke. He's a cartoonish pastiche of various historical warrior cultures stuck together in a blender and used mostly for comedic effect. When Pachacamac's ghost appears, he's reading a newspaper and bemoaning the fact that the Mets lost again. This is not the place for a serious examination of Knuckles' feelings on being the last of his kind.

This is far from the only time the show undercuts itself with its jokes and attempts at self-parody. In the first episode, for instance, Knuckles clashes with GUN Agent Mason and his tech-enhanced punches, leading to an extremely on-the-nose inversion of the "Do I look like I need your power?" scene showcased in the trailer for the second movie. Except this time, Agent Willoughby butts in and points out how stupid that line is in this new context, since they're literally trying to steal Knuckles' power. The fight can't just be cool, they have to get cute with it. A lot of stuff like that happens in this show.

Given all these complaints, the first two episodes left me thinking I'd be fairly negative on this show overall. This seemed like the version of the show from the fandom's collective nightmares, one that undoes all of the progress the movie series seemed to have been making towards faithfulness to the games. Like, just look at these cast posters. Is this what you want out of Sonic? Do these excite you?

But then, something strange happened. Over time, I just kind of let the jokes and shenanigans wash over me and basked in how fucking weird this show is.

And I started to actually enjoy it.

Look. The Wade & Knuckles Show was never going to be peak Sonic. But that sure as hell doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

This show is so fucking goofy

Here's the thing.

The show is funny.

Unlike a lot of other people, I didn't hate all the wedding stuff in Hawaii in Sonic 2, because I thought a lot of it was funny, both in its actual jokes and in the ways in which they tied everything back to Sonic. Tom looking wistfully at some bodybuilders doing Top Gun shit and spraying each other with beer and being like "I wish Sonic had that" is weirdly funny. The twist that those muscle bros are all agents of the newly formed GUN, who orchestrated the wedding as an elaborate scheme to catch Sonic, is funny. Mr. Olive Garden becoming the fucking GUN Commander is VERY funny. Are any of these elements of my dream Sonic movie? No, of course not. But my dream Sonic movie was never gonna happen in live action.

The Knuckles show follows up on the comedy of the previous films by being probably the funniest live action Sonic release yet. Did every joke land for me? God no. There are some stinkers in there that made me roll my eyes. But enough of them landed that it worked out for me overall. A big part of this is the fact that they've got a good cast of actors and/or comedians here.

Adam Pally is funny as Wade, and I found myself liking him more and more as a character as the show went on. He becomes an oddly endearing loser, with some sweet moments in his personal arc that made me feel for the guy. I like Wade more than Tom now, thanks to this show. I will now be happier to see Wade in Sonic 3 than I would have been previously.

The supporting cast is frequently great, too, many of whom are playing completely cartoonish, over-the-top characters. They took a cue from how exaggerated Carrey's performance was as Robotnik and decided to just abandon all pretense that this is the real world. Stockard Channing as Wade's mom is funny, and carries some of the more sincere parts of the show. Cary Elwes as Wade's very British dad who abandoned him as a child to run off and be the world's most egotistical professional bowler is funny. Edi Patterson as Wade's sister Wanda is... well, she's kinda trying too hard, but she has her moments. The Mighty Boosh co-creator Julian Barratt(!!) as a scenery-chewing bounty hunter, who was also somehow Wade's former best friend and bowling partner, is VERY funny. I love this guy.

(Honestly, they should let more people who were on Garth Marenghi's Darkplace be in Sonic stuff. Where's Matt Berry)

This is kind of a stacked cast for a bunch of stupid side characters in a live action Knuckles show! And honestly, that just makes it funnier to me. Even when they're not funny, the fact that this exists makes it funny. They somehow convinced Paramount to give them a bunch of money to make a spiritual successor to Dodgeball about a schlubby guy who wants to beat his dad at a bowling tournament... except also Knuckles the fucking Echidna is there as his personal life coach. My life is richer for the fact that I can say that sentence. I think about all the little kids who are probably watching this show this weekend, going in expecting a show about Knuckles the Echidna and having to sit through extensive bowling scenes and lore about Wade's family, and sorry kids, but I just have to laugh. Wade isn't even on the poster! The poster is just a picture of Knuckles!! They punked those kids!!!

In a franchise where every single aspect is so carefully micromanaged these days, it feels truly special to get an adaptation this bonkers. It frequently appeals to the same part of me that enjoys the fact that there's an officially licensed Knuckles comic in which Charmy Bee's best friend (also a bee) dies of an accidental LSD overdose from a drug-laced chili dog. Or like, everything about the original 1993 Super Mario Bros. movie. Or the fact that they made seven direct-to-DVD sequels to Alpha and Omega, one of which is half a retread of the adventure from the first movie (with more annoying supporting characters in tow this time) and half a literal clip show of the first movie. The sheer absurdity of the fact that these things exist is charming to me. Except, with the Knuckles show, it has the added benefit of frequently being funny on purpose! This is why I'm not sure I'd call it "so bad it's good." Like, it's not amazing, but there were a lot of parts that I enjoyed in the exact way I was supposed to enjoy them.

Look. Here's a list of real lines of dialogue from the Sega-approved Knuckles the Echidna streaming show that they're billing as a pillar of the Paramount+ lineup, to drive this point home. Let these marinate for a minute:

"I only eat grapes, and Cool Ranch Doritos™."

"Annihilate this little girl, Wade. Crush her spirit. Humiliate her so badly her parents won't even look at her again." "Doesn't that seem like we're going a bit far?" "Not far enough."

"So is he Jewish?" "Half, I think."

"I had a friend who when he listened to Alien Ant Farm he could lift a Toyota Corolla over his head."

"I'm in dire financial straits. Due to my lawsuit against an unnamed rainforest-themed restaurant franchise, I don't have two pennies to my name."

"We're here in sunny Reno, Nevada, which is so close to Hell you can smell the sparks."

"You can't threaten me with your Jewish karate chops because I am a federal agent."

"I will say, regardless of how you feel about child abandonment - and I'm against it! - the deals at TJ Maxx can't be beat."

This is a Sonic show in which they got Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel to appear as ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators.

This is a show where Wade's mom insists upon pronouncing "Knuckles" with the throaty Hebrew "ch" sound, and declares that Knuckles is basically Jewish. Later, they watch Pretty Woman together while enjoying a nice slice of key lime pie. Knuckles comments: "I don't understand. This young streetwalker with a heart made of gold, why do the others treat her with such disdain? Is it so wrong to walk the streets?"

This is a show where the fourth episode is directed by one of the guys from The Lonely Island and features a hallucinatory low budget rock opera stage musical put on by the ghost of Pachacamac. It recounts Knuckles' life story, with Wade playing Knuckles and the "evil" Longclaw played by the bounty hunter guy who's played by the Mighty Boosh guy.

Look at this.

And also, Knuckles' singing voice is provided by Michael Bolton, which they proudly announce in the middle of the musical.

And also...

Also...???

IBLIS IS IN IT????????????

Yes, Iblis!

From Sonic '06!!

Knuckles is said to have looked for a mythical power called the "Flames of Disaster" to avenge his clan, which ended up being the power that was within him all along that lets him do fire punches yadda yadda yadda. As part of this, he apparently fought Iblis off-screen at some point, as conveyed with the giant singing papier-mâché Iblis in the musical.

...Then Iblis sings about hitting up Facebook Marketplace

How? How does any of this exist? Why reference '06 of all games? How did Iblis get into the live action Sonic movie universe before Amy and Metal Sonic? Why are they using Iblis and the term "Flames of Disaster" in such a goofy way that completely disregards their original context?

I don't know. I don't know how any of this happened. But I love it. We got a Knuckles miniseries in which Michael Bolton sings the phrase "the Flames of Disaster." The world is a beautiful place sometimes.

Some people will tell you to skip episode four. "Knuckles is barely even in it," they say. "It's dumb and pointless," they say. "They clearly just ran out of special effects budget," they say. These are people whose opinions you should disregard. The episode with the least Knuckles in it is somehow the most entertaining episode of the show. I would, in fact, go as far as to say that if you only decide to watch one episode of the Knuckles show to see what goofy bullshit they get up to, it should be this one.

I cannot be mad at this show. It's so dumb, but it completely owns the fact that it's a dumb and unnecessary spinoff. Inferiority is baked into its very DNA. It's very self-consciously redoing the premise of the first movie, but stupider. It's about The Other Cop from the movies, instead of the competent one. Instead of being into a "cooler" sport, his life revolves around professional bowling. Instead of going to Vegas, he goes to Reno. Even his tragic backstory that shaped his entire life sucks. He was abandoned by his pro bowler dad in a TJ Maxx. Not even a nicer department store. A fucking TJ Maxx. This whole show is a Dril tweet.

They put a ton of effort into making it dumb in an occasionally spectacular way. So much effort was put into that joke rock opera that fans will just write off as stupid filler. They put their whole pussies into it. This is not a poorly made show. This has better production values than half the shit made for Disney+. This was made with love. Maybe not as much love for the Sonic the Hedgehog series of video games as we'd like, but it's love nonetheless.

Maybe this show broke me and these are the ramblings of a madwoman. Maybe I'm just really nostalgic for the '90s and '00s comedy movies all the Wade stuff is modeled after. Maybe the Alan Wake fan in me just really loves it when a story pivots to a silly rock opera for no real reason. I won't discount any of these possibilities. This isn't high art. This isn't something I would recommend to anyone with zero interest in Sonic, and it also isn't going to sway Sonic fans who hate the Paramount universe. I really can't blame them for being bewildered by this show. But for a specific type of person, this is the absurd three-star Sonic-adjacent comedy miniseries of your dreams. It's a mid masterpiece.

Again, I just have to step back, realize the fact that this shouldn't exist, and smile. Sega's too afraid to do stupid bullshit with the franchise like this these days. And I can't blame them, after years of Sonic being a treated as a laughingstock. But part of me misses some of the goofy shit. No matter how much I tore some of the Archie comics apart as I was reading them for this blog, I just look back on stuff like Cal and Al or the Many Hands issues and laugh. And that same part of me looks at this show about Knuckles being the sidekick to this fucking guy, and just goes...

"We're so back."

In conclusion, I genuinely think this was a more enjoyable TV show than Sonic Prime.

I wouldn't go back and rewatch Sonic Prime anytime soon, aside from maybe, like, a couple of the Shadow-heavy episodes. Huge stretches of that show bored me to tears. The writers squandered all of that show's potential. But I would rewatch the Knuckles show, which takes a terrible premise and has a lot of fun with it, in a heartbeat. Even the bowling parts. The bowling scenes in the Knuckles show are more engaging than 70% of the fights in Sonic Prime. I am not trolling. I mean that sincerely, with all my heart. Don't @ me.

Stray observations

There is effectively zero meaningful setup for the third movie in this, unless Wade's family or the two GUN agents come back or something. Project Shadow is not mentioned in this. There is no secret post-credits scene with Gerald

The CGI in this is pretty good. Not quite on par with the movies, but pretty good. Sonic's weird forehead wrinkles are distracting in his scenes though. Please fix that

I wouldn't say I liked this as much as the second movie, which obviously gets a ton of points for, you know. The Cool Sonic Shit. But I had more fun with it than the first movie, which I still feel is a painfully generic family movie that was only saved by Tyson's redesign

"Grapes are an interesting choice for someone who doesn't use his individual fingers."

Agent Willoughby was apparently the one at GUN who had to buy the Olive Garden gift cards and set up the fake wedding. Her origin story is that she hated doing shit like that and wanted to go fight aliens

This miniseries contains another Keanu namedrop because Wade's childhood bedroom has a Speed poster on the wall. I swear, if Sonic doesn't say Shadow sounds just like Keanu...

Knuckles is familiar with Paul Blart Mall Cop

Near the end the ESPN 8: The Ocho commentators say that the 1974 Reno bowling championship was also interrupted by an extraterrestrial, and given that was exactly 50 years ago I can't write off the possibility that that was Shadow. Please for the love of god give us a sequel series after the third movie where Wade takes Shadow the Hedgehog bowling. I need this more than I need air

[dangermousie]

Middle (sort of) of 2024 list - cdrama edition.

Yeah I realize it's neither the end of the year, nor half a year, but what's the point of being predictable? It's also gonna make my end of year post easier. This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2024; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it’s not on the list.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 My Divine Emissary - it's actually a pretty good drama year when the worst cdrama I've checked out this year is merely utterly shrill and brain dead but not horrifyingly offensive to good taste.

41 Fight for Love - they had wonderful actors and a great premise and utterly wasted it. There might someday be a good drama about a female general torn between a royal and an enemy general but this ain't it.

40 Peacock in Wonderland - I am a few decades too old for this brain dead fest but I am glad Zhou Jun Wei is not canceled at least.

39 Her Fantastic Adventures - honestly, this, MDE and Revenger are all the same type of subgenre - they aren't offensive they are just as empty as air. This also suffers from casting an utter dud as ML and a charisma boat as SML. Why?

38 Lady Revenger Returns from the Fire - the main thing I remember from this is that Miles Wei must have stolen the wig maker's parking spot. That wig is the one that should have gone into the fire.

37 Your Trap/Imprisoned Love - the plot of this mini made no sense but the softcore vibes of sanitized 1990s cinemax were on point!

36 Fox Matchmaker: The Red Moon Pact - it's so pretty, so full of gorgeous costumes and actors and I enjoyed the first few eps, but ultimately it was like watching colorful paint dry. It was so dull, I couldn't even hate watch it, and that is more damning than anything.

35 The Unexpected Marriage - cutesy dumb period romcom. Could be worse, not that this is much of a praise.

34 Love’s Rebellion - so twee, so precious, so full of cutesy awful CGI and actors who aren't bothering. I am not sure why Zhang Linghe and Jing Tian are in this mess that looks like rainbow vomited on a xianxia set.

33 My Wife's Double Life - her life may be double but her brain is only half.

32 Jade's Fateful Love - I lost some braincells trying this one, but (a) it's gorgeous and (b) no transmigration say you? Multiple transmigration in first ep alone! Good for you, makers!

31 Follow My Heart - how do you have Luo Yunxi, Song Yi and Cheng Lei and waste them so utterly? First few eps were nice and then it's like exercise in how much you can tolerate before you call it quits.

30 Sword and Fairy 4 - it's kinda a mess but I loved the actors and some of the plots and you can do worse.

29 Blossoms in Adversity - dumb as a set of particularly dumb bricks and ML I don't think could act if his life depended on it, but it was strangely addictive and I watched it often before better dramas. It's just a genuinely good time somehow!

28 Judge Dee - it's not you it's me in action. It's smart and gorgeous and well acted, I just don't do procedurals.

27 The Substitute Princess’ Love - it's like some of those trashy web novels I enjoy. It was clearly cut, its budget was equivalent to loose change found in the pockets of makes of Fox Spirit Matchmaker, but it was a surprisingly fun watch, though I enjoyed the first half better than the second. Also as a drama old, it was a fun blast from the past seeing Dylan Kuo (if you have never watched the old twdrama The Outsiders, what are you even doing with your life?)

26 Rise from the Ashes - a wacky as hell mini where reborn FL wreaks revenge with help of her fake uncle as they carry on as some sort of Borgia/Phillip II of Spain fame hybrid. If you don't need to use your brain, you could have a worse time.

25 The Legend of Heroes - it suffered from me seeing other versions of this tale before that I liked more and not loving how dark looking it is but that cast is A+ and Wang Hongyi was a revelation as Yang Kang.

24 Beauty Strategy - a mini of what a few years ago would have been a proper angsty drama of palace scheming enemies while lovers, powerless emperor etc etc. Honestly, I loved it.

23 Lovesickness - this year's gender-reversed Ancient Love Song, not as artistic or good but still a good time about a woman traveling back in time and falling for a powerful but doomed duke.

22 Fragments of Kylin - demon slayer falls for a demon; this one came out of nowhere and didn't have much of a budget but is surprisingly lovely.

21 Enslaved by Love - the only reason it's not the most fucked up drama on this list is because Shadow Sect, Palace Shadows and Burning Flames exist. The ML is toxic enough to be banned by the Geneva convention but FL does get some of her own back and also if you ever wanted to see blindness curing sex, boy do I have a drama for you!

20 Secrets of the Shadow Sect - head of sect lady and her very very subby bodyguard. What's not to love?

19 Palace Shadows: Between Two Princes - ML pretends to be his own twin, bdsm and sluttiness ensues. I cannot even explain how wild this drama is but the acting is on point and way way fun!

18 Dashing Youth - I had no expectations of this drama (either indifferent to or dislike everyone in the cast, wuxia and wuxia-adjacent is rarely my genre, the number of characters is huge) but I loved how under its bright colors, it eventually gets very dark (it's quite old school that way) and somehow I am invested in everyone in the huge cast. This being a prequel to The Blood of Youth makes us know the fates of many of the characters and this adds the air of tragic inevitability to it all.)

17 The Last Immortal - a surprisingly sweet and touching xianxia that works largely because Zhao Lusi and Wang Anyu are so so so so solid separately and together.

16 Burning Flames - the most gonzo drama on this list. I love it for committing to insanity as it should (if you pick insane source material, commit.) Humans taking on the worst Gods since Olympus, fur and chains, sentient crystal FL, ML who goes from Crown Prince to mine slave to rebel leader, bare chests and fur, demon elves, a villain that leaches color from the world - this drama has everything and I loved its unhinged glory.

15 Lost You Forever 2 - it would have been higher except it fell apart in the last third so badly I am still wondering how the makers could misunderstand their own characters and their own narratives so badly. The first season was a masterpiece. This is a hot mess.

14 The Princess Royal/The Grand Princess - I am in the minority of finding this drama very mid. The acting was fine (except for former eunuch dude), the writing was fine, but I never really got invested alas. I don't even know why. I think it's just not my type of narrative; there was no intensity.

13 Different Princess - a ridiculous amount of fun and ship about an author falling through to her own novel and falling for the villain.

12 Sword and Fairy 6 - I love this tale; the young OTP (a whale weapon and a clone of her trigger? More wholesome than you think) who are so ride or die for each other, the other amazing characters (sect leader who has to live as a man and her "twin" who is an ancient trapped spirit, a wolf demon, etc...) It's just genuinely good and proof that targeted to younger audience doesn't have to be bad.

11 In Blossom - sure, we all know JJY can't act, but the narrative was so fun and the visuals were so gorgeous and Liu Xueyi so gorgeous and magnetic in his first proper Male Lead role, it was all worth it. I liked the first half when they were still cautious of each other more than the second but this is just a good time!

10 Hard to Find - my second favorite mini on the list, this is an aesthetic feast. The doomed couple from enemy kingdoms, the vengeance, the twists - if ever a mini deserved to be a proper drama, this would be it. But alas, if it was they'd probably not let it.

9 The Double - unhinged web novel vibe done so perfectly in the inimitable Yu Zheng style. The leads were so good even the amazing villains didn't truly steal the show. Like with a lot of cdramas, it lost a lot of steam in second half for me, but still a great watch.

8 Fortune Writer - the best mini this year and better than most "proper" cdramas (Douban raters agree), this tale of villains in love fighting the narrative has a lot to say about writing cliches and writing conventions. I love how clever it is and how it actually made me care for the characters.

7 Tender Light - except for that ending, this was in the running for my favorite 2024 cdrama. The writers' lack of ability to commit and carry through pushed it lower but otherwise it's a genuine masterpiece. The acting, the chemistry, the looping narrative, what it has to say about abuse and complicity of society and blazing your own moral path is something else.

6 Derailment - who knew a little quasi scifi modern would be this high but this one is amazing. If you watch one modern this year, make it this one. Our FL is a rich girl a little in the future who somehow wakes up in a different timeline a few years back in the body of that universe's version of her (who is poor and has been missing) and her one connection is a young man who was in love with that universe's version of her. I don't want to say more so as not to spoil because the twists are twisty but this is EVERYTHING and also addresses transmigration, what it means to love, what is ethical etc etc. And that OTP!

5 Snowfall - a fever dream of a vampire narrative set in an alternate universe of the Republican era, it's gorgeous, passionate, hella queer and just like watching the most amazing fanfic come to life.

4 Heroes - a complete masterpiece about three men about to be on the scrapheap of history in the Qing Dynasty about to fall (a constable devoted to obsolete norms, who spent his whole life studying for the imperial exam which got canceled, the world's best swordsman in the era of guns, and a former imperial guard who emerges from prison into a different world) whose stories intersect as they search for treasure and the women and other people in their lives. This is smart, impeccably acted, filmed in a stunning way, bleak and funny at once and - I don't use the term masterpiece often but I will use it here.

3 The Legend of Shen Li - I am often indifferent to xianxia that suffers from too much CGI, hella immaturity and not enough stakes. Shen Li is everything. It's gorgeously filmed, it's adult, it gives the story time to breathe and centers it on characters and relationships. And the OTP is everything you can ever dream of - it reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin, totally healing those Princess Agents wounds - their chemistry is still utter fire but the narrative supports them every step of the way.

2 Eternal Brotherhood - if JoL2 did not come out this year, this would be my favorite cdrama of the year. It's clearly a passion project with a small budget but this complex and grim tale of three rather different sworn brothers in a world at war is gorgeous, smart, well acted, dark and inspiring at once. There are shots that take my breath away, the love stories are amazing, the pace is perfect, and ohhh our complex mainsssssss.

1 Joy of Life 2 - nothing can beat this masterpiece. The first season was perfect and somehow the second is even more perfect. It's smart, it's funny, it's heartbreaking, the cast is still impeccable and Zhang Ruoyun still gives a completely jawdropping performance as the focus of all the madness Fan Xian. If you watch only one cdrama this year, make it this one.

FAVORITE DRAMA

Joy of Life 2 - there is not one second I forwarded, not one unnecessary scene, not one weak link character. It's a smart, fierce masterpiece.

Eternal Brotherhood is a runner up - it came out of nowhere and owned my whole heart. It's the sole other cdrama this year where I did not ff a second.

WORST DRAMA

My Divine Emissary - honestly, this is a decent year because even this drama was just "forget it" not burning hate.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Fan Xian (Zhang Ruoyun), Joy of Life 2 - how could it ever be anyone but smart, irreverent, fierce, broken, idealistic, funny Fan Xian. The man who fights against the horrors of the universe, who remains human while being so larger than life. This character is everything.

Runner up: Zhou Luo (Zhang Xincheng), Tender Light - idealistic loner who refuses to compromise his principles even as it would be easier to, even as it destroys his life, ZXC has always been a solid actor but here he is beyond.

Alternatively, Zichuan Xiu (Yang Xuwen), Eternal Brotherhood - only way to describe Xiu is "trauma sunshine." He's funny, he's irrevocably fucked up, he is magnetic and intense and he fights for his hopeless ideals and he breaks and he keeps going.

or Xing Zhi (Lin Gengxin), the lonely ancient god discovering the pleasure of life for the first time in aeons.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Shen Li (Zhao Liying), The Legend of Shen Li - so fierce, so certain, so alive. She is a goddess but ZLY made her feel so real.

Runner up: Nan Ya (Tong Yao), Tender Light - an abuse victim who keeps trying to find a way out, she's strong and damaged and complex and honestly, one of the best performances this year.

Alternatively, Jiang Xiao Yuan (Liu Haocun), Derailment - she makes a character that in other hands would be boring or trite, someone I want to reach through to the screen and protect and love.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

99% of the denizens of the town in Tender Light - selfish every day denizens monstrous because of their very everydayness - they watch abuse and choose to blame the victim and gossip and enjoy the view. I hated them all.

FAVORITE SHIP

Shen Li x Xing Zhi, The Legend of Shen Li - the chemistry, the yearning, the slow inevitable collapse into admittance, the way he protects the world and she protects him, the way they dance around each other, her being the aggressor, his surrender to forbidden emotion, their utter mutual belief in each other's competence. They are everything to me.

Runner up: the OTP in Derailment. Those two went through some mind and soul breaking stuff and made it out.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Amusingly enough, Fu Xin Bo is the male actor in both - the crossdressing sect leader x wolf demon OTP in Sword and Fairy 6, and First Prince x Eldest Princess in Joy of Life 2. What can I say, man knows how to pick them. Those OTPs are both utterly adorable!

If we are talking about an OTP where it's not that it's not the main but it's not a ship-centric drama so they don't get much time, then we have either Fan Xian x Lin Wan'er from Joy of Life 2 - she is his peace and sanity

and Si Yilin x Ka Dan, Eternal Brotherhood - they are both such desperately good people in a mad world, tender with each other despite surrounding cruelty.

NOTP

The couple in Fox Spirit Matchmaker - such pretty people, and so bland and boring and pointless together. It was kinda amazing.

FAVORITE SCENE

God, so many good scenes this year so far - Fan Xian watching the death of the old censor and the aftermath, in JoL2; his confrontation with Wan'er after she finds out about the truth behind her brother's death, the scene where he poisons Second Prince, his scene with the registrar. Xiu giving up his future to protect the surrendered soldiers only to come back and find Di Lin executed them all in EB, the scene in Ning's bedroom when he tells her how he really feels because she can't hear, the very end of that season and Di Lin striding into the light, Ka Dan and SYL's night. The last scene of LYN and his girl in Heroes, the way Heroes always intercuts the golden past of the guard and princess and the dreary present (especially when we see her bicycle spin out of control back when and her husband lose it in the present and this time there is nobody to catch her), the big reveal in Derailment and the hairwashing scene, Mi Lan touching Vamp Daddy's face as their thing in Snowfall, and the cage stuff etc etc.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Shen Zhiheng (Gao Weiguang), Snowfall - Vamp Daddy made me hormonal in a way I haven't felt for a cdrama lead since the heady days of Darren Wang in The Wolf. Those outfits, that hair, that height, that restraint, that lack of restraint. THE CHAINS

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Liu Duan Duan as Second Prince in Joy of Life 2 - what a performance! Unhinged, magnetic, pitiable, terrifying and always mesmerizing. The Second Prince is Fan Xian's foil and a worthy one. LDD is always a great actor, and with a role that actually gives him something to sink his teeth into - wow!

MVP OF THE YEAR

Liu Yuning (Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood) - there is only one actor who somehow managed to be a main character in two of my five top 2024 dramas. His ruthless, driven Di Lin in EB, who knows he's doomed as the ruler's executioner but has no other way forward, and the man out of time (best swordsman in a gun era) in Heroes are both unforgettable characters in amazing dramas.

ACTING SURPRISE

Ouyang Nana - Li Muge performs miracles. He made Yang Chaoye be good in Heroes (2022) and now Nana, who was always as wooden as a post, is a revelation as blind abused girl who becomes a vampire in Snowfall.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Joy of Life 2 of course - I need to see the looming confrontation between Fan Xian and the emperor, though not sure how that will pass censorship.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

FF button has cured me of finding contenders for this category, but perhaps cutting out a lot of terrible acting and lack of stage presence of "not yet a eunuch" dude in The Princess Royal, would have improved it.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Lost You Forever 2 - there were other issues with it, but all the cuts couldn't have helped with coherency.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Same as last year - the emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country! Though they are nibbling at the edges this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men (and women) knowingly fighting for a doomed cause because otherwise they'd cease to be who they are.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Lost Your Forever 2 - the first season was my favorite drama of 2023 but LYF2 just fell apart so so so badly, it was almost fascinating. It totally eviscerated the characters and the meanings of the story.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Three out of the top 5 dramas on my list are not dramas that were on my radar at all before airing - Heroes, Eternal Brotherhood and Snowfall were not anything I anticipated, let alone I realized how much I'd love them. Same for Derailment and Tender Light. This has been a year of surprises.

2024 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

I have honestly watched almost everything I wanted. Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 will be the one I will list since I still need to finish s1.

BEST NON-2024 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2024

Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty - I, a procedural and mystery hater (especially when there is close to no romance) somehow fell like a ton of bricks for this gorgeous, smart, impeccably acted show.

MOST ANTICIPATED

This is always a bad idea and kinda a curse but I really really want The Story of Pearl Girl, with Zhao Lusi and Liu Yuning because I love them separately and together and the thought of them reuniting is a dream come true. Also Eternal Brotherhood 2 (it's filmed but they can't air it until a year from EB1), Love of Nirvana with Ren Jialun and Li Landi, and Snowy Night: Timeless Love with Li Qin and Zheng Shunxi.

[dandylovesturtles]

Hello, I'm back again with another fic. This one is set right after the Hidden City episodes.

I got inspired by this pic of Leo, because I thought it was funny that they included the little hairs sticking out even while he's in the jail cell:

-----

Splinter's light is on. Which is odd, because he's certain he didn't leave it that way.

He'd fallen asleep in front of the big projector, and woke up to the sound of his sons playing one of those racing games they love. He'd told them not to stay up too late (something he was sure would be ignored) and then made his way back to the atrium to fall asleep in his room in front of his tube TV.

But light spilling out from under the door. When he gets closer, he can hear the sound of someone rummaging around inside.

Immediately, the worst case scenarios flood his head. One of their enemies has found them and is just inside, plotting some kind of attack against his life, or the lives of his children. They are just feet away, their shouts echoing down the corridor and into the atrium. Should he run and warn them? Or should he fight off the intruder?

In the end, he decides to go forward rather than back, creeping closer to the door. Silently he slides it open, just enough that he can look inside.

And there... is Blue, rummaging with intent through his nightstand drawer.

(Now that he thinks about it, there had been only three turtles in the TV room when he left. He'd just assumed Blue was in the bathroom, or getting a snack.)

He opens the door the rest of the way with much more sound, causing his son to jump a solid two feet in the air. "Blue! What are you doing?"

"GAH!" Blue whirls around, his hand held tight against his chest. "Holy crap, Dad! You gave me a heart attack!"

"Ninja should be more aware of their surroundings! Were you even watching the door?"

"I didn't think I would have to in my own house!"

"Well, let that be a lesson to you." Splinter folds his arms. "What are you looking for?"

Blue lowers his hands and shuffles back a step, grinning. "Looking for something? Whaaat makes you think I was looking for something?"

Splinter looks at the drawer Blue had been digging in when he arrived, its contents a mess. Blue glances at it as well, then back at Splinter.

"It was like that when I got here."

Splinter is not impressed. "Mm-hm."

"Heh, well... okay, I was looking for something, but I don't see it so I guess you don't have it." Blue eyes the atrium beyond Splinter, clearly trying to figure out how to slip past him. "Sooo I'll just be going now, haha!"

He tries to make his escape, but Splinter is quicker - he leaps up in the air, suspending himself in the doorframe, so that he is eye level with Blue just as he approaches.

"Blue. Tell me what you were looking for."

"Nothing important, seriously-"

"Leonardo-"

"A razor," he says quickly. "I was looking for a razor."

That... was not an answer he would have expected. Splinter can't keep the bafflement off his face. "A razor?"

"To shave with," Leo elaborates.

Splinter can't help but laugh at that, squinting at his son's smooth and hairless face. "Don't you feel like that is some wishful thinking, Blue?"

"Ugh!" Blue scowls at that, folding his arms. "I'm serious! Here, look at my head."

He bends his neck, and Splinter now sees what he's talking about: blonde hairs, scraggly and uneven, that dot his sons scalp in no discernable pattern. Splinter hadn't noticed it earlier, but his eyesight isn't what it used to be.

"What- where did those come from!?"

Blue straightens his head back up, looking both irritated and embarrassed. He doesn't seem eager to answer, but now that Splinter is thinking about it, this feels familiar...

Right! Yesterday, in the Hidden City! He'd gone to find Blue to borrow his odachi, and when he'd gotten there, Blue had a full head of blonde hair...

Ah.

Splinter lets himself drop to the ground. "Your hair yesterday... it was not a wig?"

Blue chews his lip for a moment before finally admitting, "It was some kind of... living hair yokai."

"Oh no... you let one of those on your head!? They are very dangerous! They sap your energy for themselves and take control of your sleeping body!"

"Yeah, that would have been great information to have a day ago." Blue rubs the top of his head self-consciously, then scowls. "Some of the hair stuck around, and... It just looks stupid, and it's kinda itchy, so..."

"Ah. Well, if I remember correctly, it will fall out on its own in a few days."

"Oh." Blue hesitates, then starts out the door again. "Okay. Well, uh... I'll get out of your hair, then."

He grins awkwardly as he slides past, and Splinter realizes just in time that he has not handled this correctly.

"Blue, wait," he says, and his son freezes just outside, glancing back over his shoulder. Splinter leaves him standing there, and goes to his dresser, pulling a thin black box out of one of the top drawers. There's an old shaving kit inside, complete with a razor that is still sharp. Splinter's not sure why he's kept it around, since he doesn't shave since becoming a rat (unless he's sick with the Rat Flu, of course, but for that he uses the electric trimmer), but he supposes it will come in handy tonight.

He walks back to Blue, holding the razor above his head. "Aha! Here we go."

"Oh! Thanks, daddio," Blue says with a grin, reaching out to take it - but Splinter does not hand it to him.

"Absolutely not. If you try to shave your own head you'll just carve yourself like a turkey." He lowers the razor and steps past Blue, into the atrium. "Grab a stool and meet me in the bathroom. I'll do it for you."

He doesn't hear Blue's footsteps moving. "Seriously? Come on, I can do it myself."

"No complaints!" He beckons Blue on with his tail. "Come on! I know exactly what I'm doing!"

"...Ough boy," Blue mutters, but he moves to do as Splinter's told him, and that's enough.

-----

They reconvene in the bathroom, as he instructed. He has Leo sit on the stool in front of the sink - it just works out that he can lean his neck against the basin, while Splinter perches in the sink itself for a good view.

"Now, I think we might have... Aha, here we go!"

He pulls shaving cream out of the medicine cabinet; again, he's not sure why they have this, since none of them shave, but he wouldn't be surprised if the boys use it to pull pranks on each other. Besides, it just feels like a normal thing to have in a home full of men, even if they don't strictly need it.

He squirts some into his hand, then layers it across Blue's scalp. Blue giggles like he's ticklish, and Splinter shooshes him, even though he can't keep a little grin off his face at that.

Then he carefully starts to shave across Blue's scalp, starting in the middle and working his way out. The hairs are pretty sparse, but some of them are too fine for him to see, so it's better to just do the whole scalp and be sure to catch them all.

"Why is it that you let the yokai on your head in the first place?" he asks a few strokes in. He's curious about it, after all.

"I didn't let it," Leo argues. "I got tricked. The guy who gave it to me told me it was just a potion to grow hair."

"Aaaah... And it was a scam. I'm guessing that's how you came to be in jail when we got there?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's alright." Splinter pats his shoulder. "Live and learn!"

Though, that didn't answer the question Splinter had actually been getting at. Blue says nothing else, so he tries again.

"But... why did you want to grow hair?" When Blue doesn't answer right away, he adds, "Do you wish you had hair?"

"No," says Blue. "...Yes. ...Maybe?"

Splinter has to bite back a chuckle. "I see."

Blue sighs, wringing his hands in his lap. "I mean, I guess I never really thought about it too much? It's fun to wear wigs sometimes, but I never really cared about being bald, before..."

He trails off. "Before?" Splinter prompts.

Blue is chewing on his lip again. "Have you ever heard of Hirsute? The fancy beach club?"

"Oh, of course!" Splinter grins at the recognizable name. Now that he remembers, wasn't that where he'd found Blue? "They have veeery strict requirements for membership, but of course I was always allowed in because Lou Jitsu had such perfect-"

He cuts himself off, looking down at Blue, the peeks of his bald scalp through the shaving cream. Finally, he has all the pieces.

"...They wouldn't let you in, would they?" he asks, hands stilling in their task.

Blue chuckles dryly. "Even better. I got in but they threw me out."

"...Hmph." Splinter gives his foot a stomp against the porcelain. "Well, who needs their resort, anyway? Honestly, their drinks were overpriced and their steaks were always too dry."

"I already saw how nice it was, Dad, but thanks for trying to help."

"Mm, well, we will find an even nicer one! One that does not discriminate."

"Yeah, sure," says Blue, but he sounds downcast. And really, Splinter doesn't know what to tell him. He doesn't know how they would find this mythical tolerant beach club.

"You've... always told us to be careful, with humans," says Blue after a few moments of silence. His eyes are locked on the ceiling, hands still held tight in his lap. "About not letting them see us, and all that."

"...Yes," says Splinter sadly. He wishes it wasn't so, but it was for their safety. "I was worried... about how they would treat you boys."

"I know," says Blue. "And I get it. I know not everyone is April."

"Unfortunately not," Splinter agrees.

"But even most of the humans who've actually met us... They were cool with it, or at least, if they hate us, it's for non-turtle reasons. So it was like, I knew that there were humans who would be scared, or who might even try to hurt us, but they were always... You know." Blue waves his hand in the air. "Like... a concept, or whatever."

"Hmmm... Abstract?" Splinter suggests, and Blue snaps his fingers.

"Yeah! Abstract. I didn't have a face or a voice, just a vague idea that someone could be a jerk to me. And..." He lowers his hand and rubs it up and down his arm. "I thought since I knew that, I wouldn't be surprised when it finally happened? But... then an actual person was looking at me, a real person, and telling me that I wasn't good enough. Telling me that I wasn't allowed in just because of something I can't even help, just... the way my head is, and... and I don't know. It was just way worse than I thought it was going to be."

Splinter's hands still again, his heart clenching in his chest. Oh, his son. His sweet Baby Blue...

"And," Blue continues quickly, "I know it's dumb, it's just a snooty beach club, and it's just hair, and I just need to get over it-"

"Blue," Splinter cuts him off urgently. He nudges his shoulders, trying to get the boy to sit up. "Leo. Please look at me."

Blue sits up, slowly turning on the stool to face the sink. His eyes are suspiciously red-rimmed, and Splinter feels a rush of emotions so strong they nearly sweep him off his feet. Hurt, for his son who was made to feel bad over something so trivial, and fury, for the people who caused the injury.

He reaches out and cups his son's face, rubbing the pad of his thumb over his cheeks. His sons are more muscular than other children their age, but Blue still has baby fat on his cheeks. Splinter resists the urge to squish them.

"I wish they could all see what I see," he says softly. "A young man who is so handsome, strong, and clever."

Blue's lip trembles slightly. "But they won't."

"Some will," he promises. "Not everyone is April... but she is not the only one, either."

"Just wish I knew who was an April and who wasn't," Blue says. "Before I get kicked out on my butt."

"Mm. It is hard. Some people make it obvious, and so many more do not." Splinter sighs. "When I came to America, I was already a celebrity. And still, there were many who did not accept me, or who did not think they needed to listen to me, or who were cruel. And it was the same, when I was taken to the Hidden City."

Blue gives him a sad, crooked smile. "You felt like an outsider, too, huh?"

"Very much, yes. Human and yokai... there are prejudices everywhere."

"So how do you deal with it?"

"Mm... there is no easy answer." Splinter guides Blue to turn around and lean against the sink again, before rest of the shaving cream drips. "I wish I could tell you that this is the worst you will ever face, but I can't promise you that. But I do not wish for you boys to hide from the world forever, either. Even if it is only among the yokai... I want what all parents want for their children."

"For them to have grandchildren?" Blue asks.

"Yes!" Splinter chuckles. "Cute babies to play with and then give back." He finishes shaving the last of Blue's head, then grabs a wash cloth to wipe him clean. "But no. I meant that, for all the people who may be cruel to you... I want there to be many more who are kind. And who love you as I do."

Blue's voice is soft as he mutters, "Oh."

"And I also want you to remember," Splinter leans forward, and kisses Blue on his forehead "that you are accepted here no matter what." He snorts. "Even if you want to make that hairstyle permanent."

"Oh, come on!" Blue huffs and gets up from the stool, his deeper green blush visible even though he is trying to look annoyed. "It wasn't that bad!"

"I'm just saying, I think you can do better!"

"What do you know, old man?" Blue scowls, but it's playful.

"Old man!? Hmph, the disrespect..." He folds his arms, then nods at the door. "We're done, so I'm going to bed. Your brothers are having some kind of go-karting tournament in the TV room."

"Oh shoot, I'm missing it!" Blue turns to run out, then skids to a stop and spins on his heel, running back and scooping Splinter out of the sink and into a hug.

"Thanks, Dad," he says, and Splinter can't help but chuckle, giving his shell a pat.

"Of course, Blue."

Blue sets him down, then turns and runs off again. Splinter can hear him yell, "Dibs on next race!" from down the corridor.

Splinter rinses the razor clean, then puts it back in his box. He considers taking it back to his room, but in the end he changes his mind, slotting it into the medicine cabinet.

Who knows? Maybe someone will need it again, one day.

[red-velvet-0w0]

okay but people dont talk enough about murder drones from J's perspective

you are a robot. your entire purpose in life is to be a team leader and obey the company.

you are bought by an important family who owns the company you work for and are put in charge of taking care of her kid. alright sure why not. shes actualy kinda nice and gives you a wig.

her family is clearly abusing and neglecting her but theres only so much you can do to help her. you cant go against the companies orders. you dont know how.

suddenly she comes back home one day with 2 other robots she found in a dumpster and only gets too keep them because of rich person privledges. sure. you give them a job helping around the house and take a bit of your frustration out on being powerless to help the kid out on them.

a while later she comes back with a new drone who is... wrong. you dont know what to do about her but you try to keep her safe.

the owners tell you to lock the defective drone in the basement. you obey of course. its all you know how to do

SHE GOT OUT OF THE BASEMENT. HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT?

you add more locks to the basement. it doesnt stop her

The company is gone. your only friend is gone. you have been transformed into a monster and the only reason you are still alive is because an eldritch god decided to keep you and the two other drones around as pets. shes wearing your best friends skin. dear god shes wearing her skin.

it wants you to kill for it. your entire life you have done what your told. you served the company well. you did everything right. and now its all gone. you obey because of course you do. its all you know how to do

You wipe out planet after planet.

The other two keep getting their memories wiped every planet. they dont know that the three of you have died hundreds of times. it never sticks. she doesnt let you die. she doesnt let you stop. she just forces you to keep on killing.

You go to some random meaningless copper mining planet in the middle of nowhere. you know the routine, youve done it hundreds of times before

SUDDENLY ONE OF THE OTHER DRONES IN YOUR TEAM BETRAYS YOU AND HELPS A TINY PURPLE IDIOT MURDER YOU

you come back because of course you do.

you die again and come back as a clone.

The thing wearing Tessas skin is here this time. she wants to see this for herself.

the thing with Tessas skin joins up with all of the traitors who tried to kill you. they leave you behind. still you do what youre told

The planet is destroyed. just like usual.

WAIT WTF IS THAT V WITH A ROBOT VELOCIRAPTOR WHY IS SHE FIGHTING YOU YOU WERE ON THE SAME SIDE LAST TIME YOU INTERACTED

you try to explain to her that there is no way you could ever win a fight against god

OKAY SO APPARENTLY THAT RANDOM PURPLE CHILD WAS ACTUALY AN ALL POWERFUL GOD KILLING ROBOT WITCH?!?!?!?!?!

Was that just common knowledge?

Why did nobody tell you about that?

and now you are all alone forever and god is aparantly some random angsty teenager.

[winkle-pickers]

Finally got the server together, cracked open a few bottles of wine & whiskey at our various locations throughout the continent, and watched this piece of cinéma which has been making the rounds on tumblr. Spoiler alert: It's. SO GOOD

Highlights include:

Yugi's wig actively fighting for its life in every scene

Téa and Mai get to duel each other!!

Bandit Keith. REX. RAPTOR.

The guy who plays Kaiba puts his entire pussy into a frankly bang-on Eric Stuart impression. Also is clearly the cast member who has seen the anime the most times

The scene where you can visibly see the budget doubling. Joey's hair volume also abruptly doubles in this scene

The guy who plays Yugi uses his actual baby to play Baby Yugi (who is in the film for ???? reasons) and then properly credits the baby at the end

The words "Millennial Pieces" are uttered, and I won't tell you by whom

Server conjecture is that the Duel Monsters may have been modeled in Second Life

I swear to god this is barely even a fraction of spoilers. There's so much more. I didn't even get into Mokuba "Tommy Wiseau" Kaiba or....the whole thing Grandpa's got going on.

WATCH IT. It's free on Tubi and only 45min. The Millennial Pieces compel you

[hotchs-big-hands]

ngl i would genuinely get off to making haley jealous and angry because of how fucking easy it is. my personal hc here but i think she was controlling and thought she had hotch wrapped around her finger and it infuriated her that his job was the only thing he refused to listen to her about. i also think she tried to baby trap him with jack in the assumption that would "fix" their marriage and when it only made it worse she blamed aaron for never being home when she easily couldve hired a nanny or regular babysitter so she could work or do whatever. i believe she cheated bc of that one phone call to their house when hotch answered and it was a random man asking for haley before hanging up and the look hotch gave her like yeah he knew she was fucking around too. i think it made her even angrier that when she filed for divorce hotch didnt even fight her onit! didnt ask to work things out or for counseling or anything. just "okay ill sign the papers when i get back from this case"

now assuming reader is mid twenties i think your very existence would have her enraged. aaron seems happier and even healthier. hes got more color in his face, hes put on some healthy weight, he smiles and laughs now, he takes more time off work, his life has clearly significantly improve since she left him and she cant fucking stand it. she thought she was the best thing that ever happened to him and now shes seeing in real time she's actually the worst thing ♥️♥️

and you thinks its funny as hell to watch a 40 year old woman with a whole ass kid be that bent out of fucking shape because the man SHE LEFT is fine without her. like yes maam i am younger than you, hotter than you, nicer than you AND i can ride the dick just right. stay pressed bitch 💕. and when she tries interfering in your relationship hotch asks you to put up with it just for a bit because he knows hack is still adjusting to coparenting and he wants the best for his son so you let him handle his exwife until she crosses a line and tries to accuse you of some shit and aaron finally puts his foot down and haley cant believe that shes really lost complete control over aaron (haha fuck you haley)

like i fantasize about a situation where haley is trying SOOOO hard to break yall up and drive a wedge between you two and it isnt until jacks birthday or some big family function aaron brought you too and haley cant help it but lowkey stalk yall all night and so youre like "aaron watch this" and you drag him off to some secluded corner and hes like ??? but you tell him "hold on baby give it a minute. bet you anything haley pops up" and then once you hear footsteps you give aaron a big fat smooch and surprise surprise!! whos coming around the corner? why its haleys stalker ass following you two like a creep!

i literally just want to cuck haleys pathetic ass because fuck her and her scraggly blonde hair and that nappy ass wig she had on in witness protection with her no-style-no-personality-all-about-me havin ass 😒😒😒😒

sorry this is such a convoluted mess i just hate that lady 😭😭

I NEEDN'T SAY MORE THIS IS EXACTLY MY THOTS I WANT THAT WOMAN SEEEETHING AT THE SIGHT OF AARON BEING HAPPY AND THRIVING. SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY BE THE CRAZY EX WHO PROBABLY ENDS UP HARASSING YOU.

The SECOND she says smth nasty abt you Aaron is soooooo fucking pissed. She insults you saying you're just a whore sleeping with Aaron for his money (and cuz us babes are plus-size queens she HATES THAT) and that Aaron is not attracted to you.

And Aaron OOF he takes her to one side and tells her she is fucking nothing but the mother of his child now. That YOU are his everything. YOU make him the man he is now. He's fucking happy with you as the love of his life and that Haley made him chronically stressed and depressed and almost completely ruined his self esteem. He warns her to back the fuck off from him and reader. He does not want any communication with her unless it's to do with Jack. End of.

[peachy-wolfhard]

Dating Leo II

a/n: I wanted to add more after I posted part one so here it is Bone Apple Teeth, I love leo sm so its LONG

Let me know if you would like to be on my tmnt taglist!

Warnings: swearing, grandchildren mention (splinter is gonna splinter), illness mention, insomnia, mentions of slapping leos bald head

Word count: 738 -woof

Insomnia gang

This turtle physically cannot sleep

When you don't spend the night he is CONSTANTLY texting you everything that comes to mind

“y/n…why is pizza a circle?” “idk lee can i come over :3” “yeth pls HURRY IM DYING HERE WITHOUT U”

Lying in his bed, cuddling, matching eyemasks ON, fan ON

Even with all of that, nothing works

The nights that the both of you are actually able to sleep he has a grasp on you

Holds you so close to him all the time, you guys are joined at the hip

Everyone besides Mikey and Splinter thinks you guys are gross

“You can't even say their names apart now it's ALWAYS Leo and y/n. You can't separate them they will DIE without each other”

“Calm down Mikey please you're scaring Shelldon”

Splinter is…well Splinter. He stays in your guys' relationship, with how dramatic you guys are he doesn't need his soaps

He loves to show you baby pictures of the boys esp the ones of Leo

((cough cough he definitely mentions grandchildren like the old man he is))

Bites all the time like anytime anywhere

Making breakfast peacefully listening to music- CHOMP

Getting ready for work- CHOMP

Dr. Delicate Touch has to intervene

Play fights with you in slow-motion

(slow motion voice) “yyy/nnn iiiimm goooinggg tooo kick your aaaasssss”

(also slow motion voice) “im gooonnnaaa kick yours firrrst”

HAND! HOLDING!

Initially, it started as a way to keep Leo from running off when exploring places, but then it turned into a regular thing

“My love, light of my life, future spouse eHEM!”

“What Leo”

“WHERE’S YOUR HAND I AM GOING TO DIE WITHOUT YOUR HAND IN MINE!! I ALREADY FEEL WEAK PLEASE I AM SUFFERING”

Absolute drama queen and don't get me started when he’s sick

Picture those old paintings of the sick children in bed, he’s that but dialed up to eleven

All he wants is cuddles and daytime television and don't you DARE come in between him and his Maury

Giving him medicine is surprisingly easy maybe it’s because he’s so out of it or maybe he’s just in love he’d let you do anything to him

But if you’re ever sick he does the exact same for you

If you fight medicine (just like me fr) he’s NOT afraid to use those ninja moves to get you to take your meds

Loves it when you read to him no matter what you are reading

Manga? Sign him up! Horror book? Let's get spooky! Sad book? I'll get the tissues! He just loves to hear your voice especially if you do different voices for the characters but not overly comedic voices, he’s here for the story!

Falls asleep listening to your voice with his head on your lap 99% of the time

Going to the Hidden City for date nights and getting up to absolute mischief

(having to then call Raph to come get you guys because you pissed someone off and just kicked their butt)

Speaking of the Hidden City! During their break in the Hidden City (when everyone gets arrested) you join Leo at the spa

After he gets kicked out he BEGS you to go to the creepy spa across the street with him

“Sorry sweetheart I too am in DIRE need of some relaxation plus it’s not often I’m in an exclusive club”

The moment he shows up with that gorgeous hair you’re suspicious

Texts you a selfie of his new hair with the creepy ass background

“Whatcha think? Even more handsome than normal? ;)” “go back to being bald i miss slapping ur bald head :(“

Anyway when he starts “sleepwalking” your immediate reaction is “Maybe it's the wig” but quickly forget all about it due to relaxation

“Um… yyyy/nnnn could you please help me out with one teeny tiny situation…? Please?”

Now you and Leo are on the case!

“Ooo lala finally some privacy ;)”

“Don't touch me until you’re bald AND we figure this out”

“Pwetty pwease? JUST ONE!”

“Fine, ONE kiss”

After the evil hair reveal and fighting with your boyfriend’s hair he's finally bald again

Leo explains the massage guy’s deal but it falls on deaf ears

“Hey, who’s that guy?” “He'sthe non-member we kicked out earlier!”

“I bet he and that human are the thieves. Call the cops”

After a quick stay in jail, you’re now peacefully back home

[miheartsedthings]

Teeth

TW: Inflicted pain, biting, trauma

Sometimes, Billy wants to be in pain.

It took some time for you to figure this out. Years, in fact, after leaving Hawkins and moving into a tiny studio in Cali together. So far from Neil and his brutal reprimands, your lover found himself softening in ways he couldn't have anticipated and didn't entirely like.

His life was calmer. Watching TV or lounging around listening to music. Maybe one of you was cooking while the other put away laundry. Perfectly safe domestic quiet. It drove him crazy.

He would be fine one moment, enjoying the peace, and then his nerves would spike, like a dog sensing something. He'd start fidgeting around with things, chewing on a straw or chipping bits of paint from the radiator. His knee bounced, his eyes refused to settle, and sometimes, when you approached him for affection with that sweet lilt in your voice, he got so fucking angry he couldn't stand it.

Something was wrong. He knew something was wrong, but what it was he couldn't exactly say.

You were at a loss for what to do in those moments, when he picked fights about the length of your dresses or the new recipe you'd decided to try. Your life filled with petty arguments and you began to wonder if your relationship, which you'd once thought of as unbreakable, wasn't reaching its end.

Then, one late night, during an intense session of makeup sex, you dug your fingernails into his shoulders. You'd been growing them out and it was more out of thoughtlessness than anything, but the way he groaned at the feeling immediately caught your attention. You sank your claws in deeper and felt his intense pleasure coiling through his body and straight into you.

Afterwards he was so calm, and slept peacefully for the first time in days.

It didn't take long to realize the pattern. You'd be fine for a while, and then he'd get antsy, and somehow or other you'd find yourself inflicting pain, which immediately calmed him down.

One day, the two of you were on the couch trying to watch a movie. You laid on your sides with his arm slung over your middle, but he was fidgeting. You'd missed most of the dialogue because he kept chiming in with complaints about all sorts of unimportant things. The lighting, the wigs, the soundtrack. It got to the point where you'd lost track of the plot. Finally, you turned over, sitting up on your elbows.

"Do you notice you get like this every other week?"

He stared at you, a small spark of alarm in his eyes like he was waiting for the bad thing to happen. It broke your heart a bit, knowing he was always a little nervous that you were getting ready to leave.

"Get like what?"

His tone was already defensive. If you weren't careful this would plummet right into an argument.

"I don't know...anxious?"

He snorted.

"No I don't."

Your eyes narrow, and at a loss for what to you, you scoot down, lift his shirt, and sink your teeth into his thick, muscled side.

His body gives a little jolt at first, and his hand goes to yours, but he doesn't stop you. So, you sink in deeper, the muscle offering strong resistance.

"What're you doing?" He asks, though he says it without aggrievement. Of course, you don't answer. Your mouth is flush to his skin, your teeth hooked into his flesh, and you wonder how much he can stand. You push in, your jaw working against him as you slowly increase the pressure.

An airy, haggard little sound slowly pulls from his throat at the growing pain from your mouth, but still he doesn't stop you. He wants to know how much he can take. He'll never know how much he can take if no one ever hurts him.

Of course, he doesn't know that's the reason, he just trusts you. Plus, something about the biting is nice in a way he can't explain, like licking a cavity, or pushing up against a bruise. So he lets you keep going, squeezing your hand through it.

Your mouth is wet, saliva slipping down to stripe across his stomach. You've closed your eyes and settled into this one thing, your focus undivided. Whatever it is about this that he needs, you'll give it. You're giving in that way. You love him that much. Resolve comes over you, to take this as far as he needs you to. So, you bite.

With renewed strength, you start clenching down again and you hear him take in a breath, his hand squeezing tighter as his body tenses. Little puffs of breath tell you the hurt is growing, he's straining against giving in, his breathing going jagged. His body starts to squirm, his feet pushing into the arm of the couch.

Pained little sounds cut through with gasps. You glance over and see his eyes closed, his reddening face tensed in concentration. His jaw is tight, but a little sound finds its way out anyway.

"ah."

You watch him, his brows pushed together, his forehead taking on the slightest sheen. He's not getting enough air. You place your free hand on his chest: a reminder to breathe and he rakes in a shaky breath. His eyes open and he looks down at you, his mouth opening just a little, a long, silent moment during which the pain is all he can think about.

At last, his eyes snap shut.

"Alright-alright." He breathes and you let go.

Leaning back, you stare at the deep indent your teeth left behind. His flesh is raw, glistening with your saliva. You lean in and gently lick it away. He flinches at the slight contact. His foggy brain is full of hard-earned bliss and he's already half asleep.

You lay there, watching him drift off, wondering what you're gonna do with this man who goes around bothered and snipping, like a dog looking for a kick.

This isn't a permanent solution, and soon enough you'd consult professionals about it. You'd learn about c-PTSD and together you'd figure out what he actually needs. But, for now, just for tonight, you've done what you can.

[respectthepetty]

We started episode nine of Wandee Goodday with the blinding yellow orb of light surrounded by pink/purple flowers. I'm gonna ignore the Ter part because between this and OMG! Vampire (and Thai BLs in general), I got questions about the lack of severity regarding male sexual assault and harassment, but that's a different post.

The props department has given me a yellow and purple labeled beer with the production name on it - AllThat Beer. Bless you, props department.

Yellow on Yak's side, purple on Dee's side, and they kiss in the blue with the purple countdown, and because I hate this blue, hopefully this is also a countdown to the fake part of their relationship ending soon.

@overrgrownn, already pointed out how they swap colors when they step outside and Yak turns pink, but the mermaid tails are in their colors too in yellow/red and purple/pink. Great had a picture on the set of him in a red wig and the boys have been spotted in other wigs, so maybe we wrote this mermaid plot off to quickly.

GET OUT OF HERE BLUE!

Much better! Much much better!

I knew the building's exterior lights were purple, but I hadn't realized it had yellow accents.

This is the worst montage of my life! I can deal with Yak in black because it's one of his colors, but seeing that brown and blue the entire time Yak is trying to woo Dee is disgusting!

Because even when there is yellow, it is covered up!

Both of them are very aware of their feelings! The colors are right there! SO WHY CAN'T I GET THEM?!

It's because they are faking it even when they don't need too!

And I've done been saying that Yak has tried to copy Ter because that's who Dee liked for eight years, so TAKE THE BROWN OFF YOUR BODY!

Y'all don't want to be to fake blue and brown like Ter trying to figure out his life.

And as cute as the boxing couple are, neither Yak nor Dee are an odd little boxing man or his girlfriend!

SO QUIT THE BIULLSHIT, DEE! I don't know why you feel you must lie about your feelings or your color anymore. I'm pretty sure that shirt is pink, so you're just going to sit there in a pink shirt AND LIE with the blue backing you up?! LIAR!!!!!!

I have a theory about the eleventh episode, and I think this man foreshadows it since Ter took too long to sort out his feelings and lost out, but before I write about it, I appreciate AllThat Entertainment for using the same actors in its shows because I deserve to see this man not surrounded by a harem of boys and being batshit crazy.

But back to Dee because even Kao knows what his true color is with his purple confidential folder.

So get it the fuck together, Dee! You know what your color and feelings are, so quit playing with this blue and these lies.

Because I think the eleventh episode will be Yak giving up. Yak lost his first boxing match because he ran out of energy to continue the fight, and Dee has continued this fight for no good reason. Therefore, I've been thinking that Yak was going to give up and Dee would have to finally step up and prove he loves Yak. Now, I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN!

Because as much as Dee is there for Yak, he is still hiding behind this illusion of a fake relationship.

Yak needs to win that final match, but he is dealing with some mental blockage. (This picture was absolutely necessary because he is wearing blue here)

The yellow comes from his mom.

And probably the pants too which is why they are so important. (Thanks, Dee, for showing up in your color)

So Dee gives Yak peace of mind and fills the voids that were left behind when Yak's mother died. We see the same dynamic between Cher and Yei.

But what will happen if Dee doesn't bring peace when Yak needs it the most? Dee's Nineties shirt had the always important message to "Make Love, Not War," but is he taking that advice?

He is absorbing Yak's color and combining it with his.

Yak is telling him that he loves Dee in every single way possible.

And they continue to switch colors as they kiss on the lips.

But Dee continues to deny his feelings and push Yak away when he feels too much. Next week, Yak is fighting for his family and home in episode ten, so I'm hoping everything else gets resolved, and all we are left with is the championship match and love for the last two episodes. My fingers are crossed that Yak will lose in this battle of love with Dee since Dee must always win (and he will win that scholarship).

Please, GMMTV, force Dee to make a choice because even if he wins everything, he'll still lose something.

Please.

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

S1 ep 20

jhonny watches danny phantom!!! ___

Her tattoos are MORE GHOSTS??? I need fanart rn ___

Dannys hypnotized????? DANG  Boy is so bad at protecting himself  ___

Tucker crossdressing os everything i need in life  ___

Its all just goths  Oh my god i love this (the designs are sooooo coool!!!) Bad representation of them beeibg depressed and gloomy alk the time but yk

Protesting goths ___

Also yeah its only affecting danny because of how hes half ghost!!! And now hes hypnotized ___

“Ecto butts in gear”!!  ___

“I had a bad phase myself” *pic of Grandma on a motorbike with black hair and a bandana* I adore her  AND SHE PUTS ON THE SAME WIG AND SHIRT N ATTIRE AGSKAMKWANZN ___

NOOOOO DANNYYYYYYYSBKAKS ___

“WE’RE TRAPPED!!!” “Thats objectionable, immoral, and obnoxious!” Im going to be wuoting thisall the time bro ___

Maddie ftw “I ask you pnce again… YA GOT A PROBLEM WITH JUMPSUITS?????” ___

*on top of a train* *bad guy using staff* *it does nothing* Tucker: maybe try aiming that higher! *bad guy raises the staff higher* *Train bar thingy hits it* Marry me tucker  ___

“I saw you up on that highwire!! You were fighting him the whole time! Fight him now, danny! Youre not just a ghost. FIGHT HIM!!!” This really hit deep as someone with ocd.  ___

“QUIET, all of you!!! I need to think!!!” God i love him and his evil eyeliner  ___

The ghosts teaming up to get their former hypnotizer is actually so sweet.  ___

“Why do i feel like we’re forgetting smth?” LANCER IS STILL TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET OH MY LORDY  ___

i realize i should probably start adding pictures or soemthing so that you guys can actually understand my yapping but uh!! i already have like three more of these written!!!

[southparktexts]

kenny mccormick x goth reader head canons pleaseee :3 if not that’s fine!!

of course anon !! <3 (im so mad i had to rewrite this twice)

Kenny with a Goth Reader

- okay, first off. he LOVES goth people.

- huge goth mommy girlfriend lover (he listens to asmr..)

- i feel like he had definitely confused you with the goth kids.

“look at that fucking emo… oh SHIT THATS Y/N”

“THE FUCK YOU SAY ABOUT ME??”

- you had to educate him on the difference between emo and goth after that.

- knowing him he’s confused about the goth aesthetic

- i know damn well he just think its wearing black sexy clothes.

- the first time you did his makeup on him he was so confused.

“why the fuck would you get this.. thing (foundation) 8 shades lighter than your skin colour.. this is basically white.”

“i- .. you are so autistic.”

“BUT WHY??”

- please for the love of god, do not wear a corset or fishnets around him. he will stare.

- the first time he saw you walk around with a corset he was immediately staring… at your tits.

- i feel like he definitely protects you when you go out in public with him because of people who bark at you or try and sexually assault you.

- he’s not controlling of the way you dress because its your life, live it.

- he just doesn’t want you to feel insecure about yourself!

- i can definitely vouch that he loves buying you goth clothes and handing it to you.

- if you have a collection of goth anything, he will stare for hours.

- he gets so interested into goth things.

- i can see times where he would sometimes (all the time) where goth clothes to match and impress you.

- and he looks so fucking good as well.

“why don’t you just dress like this all the time??”

“you dont know how much i would fucking hate to be barked at.”

- he is your biggest supporter when it comes to social media posts and shit.

- commenting shit on your posts like ‘thats my bitch!’

- one time got into a fight in the comment section with some thirsty simps.

your not dating her lol

shut yo raggity ass up

*insert pic of you and him.*

think again

- ive said this once and ill say it again, he is your biggest supporter

- people barking at you? hes barking back.

- people cat calling you? he’s starting fights.

- people touching you? hes starting a war.

- one time yelled at a GRANDMA because she insulted you.

“thats not appropriate to wear out on the streets!”

“BITCH YO WIG ISNT APPROPRIATE TO WEAR OUT ON THE STREETS. SIT THE FUCK DOWN.”

- … he has issues? i think..?