#that was still a bit different though since a portion of that came from an instinct to subvert

[burinazar]

I was thinking “haha it’s so weird and silly i got soOOO into this one very specific part/arc/related minor-ish character group of a franchise, i haven’t done that before have i? this is a new weirdness for me isn’t it?”

and then suddenly vividly remembered my inconvenient and untenable and frankly quite extreme obsession with the romulan star empire all throughout middle school, with such force and clarity that i had to put a hand to my face

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL PHOTOGRAPHED AND INTERVIEWED FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE.

ABOUT BEING RECOGNIZED

Like most people, Ewan Mitchell is accustomed to anonymity.

So during a recent trip to Manhattan, he was surprised by what a hotel doorman asked when he arrived: “You haven’t packed your eye patch?”

The actor is still getting used to strangers making the connection in public.

“I wouldn’t think people would recognize me, but they do.”

“I think it’s because of my strong chin.”

“When I’m dressed up as Aemond and catch myself in the mirror, he scares even me a little bit.”

When he’s not in character, Mitchell is soft-spoken and occasionally flashes a boyish grin, though he retains much of Aemond’s seriousness and quiet intensity.

He is also very private: He stays off social media and in the past has shied away from sharing much with the public.

“Once you lose the mystery, you can’t really get it back.”

HE KNOWS THAT AEMOND'S KEY ROLE IN S2 MEANS HE MUST ALSO EMBRACE THE SPOTLIGHT:

“There is a point where you have to go, now’s the time to pull back the curtain.”

Like Aemond, Mitchell is a second son.

He grew up in Derby, an industrial town in the middle of England, and his parents expected him to follow his older brother’s footsteps and work at Rolls-Royce (the aerospace and industrial technology company, not the carmaker).

HIS INSPIRATIONS AND BECOME AN ACTOR

Inspired by films like “Citizen Kane” and “Taxi Driver,” Mitchell knew early on he wanted to become an actor.

When he was 13, his teacher asked each student in his class what they wanted to do when they grew up.

“Then it came to me, and I said, ‘I’m going to be an actor,’ and everyone laughed at me.”

His family could not afford tuition for drama school, so Mitchell attended a two-year vocational school, where he studied design and technology while working part-time at a restaurant and in customer service at a local soccer club.

Midway through the program, at 17, he was accepted into the Nottingham Television Workshop, a drama group that trains young people in acting.

Through the Workshop, Mitchell landed a leading role in a 2015 short film called “Fire,” about a young man who leaks fire from his hands.

Once the short was released, Mitchell downloaded it onto a dozen CDs, took the train to London and stopped by the offices of every agent he could find, handing them each a copy.

The one person who called back continues to represent Mitchell.

“By hook or by crook, I wanted to make sure that I was going to be in this business.”

ABOUT BEING CASTED AS AEMOND TARGARYEN

Aemond’s growing prominence in the show requires Mitchell to embrace the spotlight as well.

“There is a point where you have to go, now’s the time to pull back the curtain.”

But being cast as Aemond in “House of the Dragon” has been his biggest professional turning point by far.

“Since landing him, I feel like I’m able to now steer the course of my career.”

Mitchell had been rewatching the classic Hollywood adventure film “The Vikings” (1958) and musing about how he wanted to play a morally dark character similar to the one played by Kirk Douglas when he received an email inviting him to submit a taped audition for Aemond.

When he eventually auditioned in person, he left a lasting impression on Ryan Condal, the showrunner for “House of the Dragon.”

“When Ewan came into the room, he just had this presence to him that I can best describe as unsettling,” Condal said.

“It was kind of quietly terrifying the way he performed it, and it was totally different than everybody else. And then he thanked us very politely and left the room.”

Condal recalls asking Kate Rhodes James, the casting director, “Is he always like that?”

She replied, “Oh no, he’s just a very intense northern boy.”

To prepare for his role, Mitchell did not watch “Game of Thrones.” Instead, he read portions of “Fire & Blood,” the book by George R.R.

Martin that inspired the show, and studied the performances of Michael Fassbender in “Prometheus” and Peter O’Toole in “Lawrence of Arabia,” each playing a figure who wields power for his own ends.

ABOUT MATT SMITH AND DAEMON TARGARYEN

On his first day on set, Mitchell consulted with Condal and decided that he would avoid interacting with Matt Smith, who plays Aemond’s similarly menacing uncle and rival, Daemon, in order to heighten the tension between the two characters.

Mitchell had grown up admiring Smith’s performance in “Doctor Who.”

But on set Mitchell avoided any eye contact with him, keeping his distance until the climactic scene near the end of the first season when Aemond and Daemon finally face off.

“There’s this addictive kind of quality when you’re in the shoes of a character.”

“When you lose yourself for a moment, it’s almost like a dream.”

ABOUT HIS HOME AND HIS DOGS

When he isn’t acting, Mitchell still lives at his family home in Derby and spends time with his dogs, three whippets named Eva, Bella and Bonnie.

“Now that I’m on it.”

“I’ve just got to stay on the dragon.”

[eriexplosion]

Tech Lives: An Ungodly Long Essay

(AKA: Turns out that my Tech Lives compilation post comment was actually a threat.)

There have been hundreds if not thousands of posts since Plan 99 aired wondering if Tech might have made it after his fall - it's probably been brought up more than any other hanging plot point, even after season 2 scooped up Omega and left us on a massive cliffhanger. Now that season 3 has started, though, Omega and Crosshair are home (for now) but we have received an almost aggressive lack of Tech info. So, I've gathered up some of the stronger Evidence for why Tech might be fashionably late but still on his way back from The Void!

THE LEAD UP

So to start, let's go back to what came before the whole Incident. This will focus mostly on season 2, seeing as that was definitely Tech's season to shine, but with bits about plotlines in season 1. Which brings us to our first bit, that's not really evidence so much as some gentle push-back on a common argument.

Doomed By Character Development?

We've all seen this particular situation before - a character is slated for a tragic death, so just before it happens the writers gives them a little extra relevance to the plot to make sure the audience really feels it when the time comes. The Clone Wars was especially good at this, giving characters like Fives an arc of his own that ended in his tragic death. Season 7 gave us a better look at Jesse, first in the Bad Batch's intro arc and then again through the Siege of Mandalore, all to bring us to the chip activation that led to his ultimate death.

When season 2 started off with one of the two intro episodes spotlighting Tech and our first breather episode of the season also spotlighting him, people started to get worried. So is it fair to say that his spotlight in season 2 was setting him up for a permadeath?

Looking at it, I don't think so, for multiple reasons. For one, Tech didn't just get a spotlight episode, his development dominated a good chunk of the whole damned season, often taking priority over the other characters that wouldn't be dropped into the mists. While giving a little bit of character development to a doomed character can be a good move, giving ALL your development to a doomed character ends up feeling like a good portion of your season was actively pointless.

The Bad Batch is not an open ended show. It seems to have been planned for the three seasons it got, and they would have gone into it knowing they had a set amount of time to work with. Dedicating so much time to developing Tech in preparation for a character death takes away all of their opportunity to develop, well, anything else.

But, along with the amount of time that was dedicated to Tech as a character through season 2, they also didn't develop him in the ways that most often get used for a doomed character. Namely...

That Sure Is A Lot Of Open Plot Lines

And not one of them got tied up. Currently, Tech has two open plot lines to himself, both started in season 2, as well as a key place in the overall show narrative arc. As the overall show narrative arc takes precedence, we'll start with that.

The Bad Batch sets up a few different narrative arcs very early. One is if clones can be more than soldiers - this is the central thing that we see them struggling against from the start, they've been created to be soldiers and don't know much else about how to function in the world. Theoretically this arc can be fulfilled with one or two of them still dying as soldiers, as long as a few of them make it to find a new life for themselves.

The arc that can't be fulfilled without everyone though is the ongoing thread of reuniting the batch. Much of the show is geared towards making the viewer want this specific end result, as soon as they talk about Crosshair, Omega says they'll just have to get him back and complete their family. The end of season 1 teases us with this only to pull it away at the last moment, then season 2 teases us with it again only to yet again pull it away, this time seemingly permanently.

Ending one of your key narrative threads you've been using to draw audiences in only 2/3rds of the way into the show and without ever resolving it... well it would be a choice. If Tech is gone for good then the last time we saw everyone together would be the end of season 1. Rewatches would lack impact because something that was made to seem so vital ended up going nowhere, and the series finale would never quite reach the height that hearing the full batch theme kick in over the team fighting droids together did. It absolutely destroys the central narrative to leave him gone without ever having reunited the family.

And then there's his personal plots.

Let's start with the obvious one. Tech got a whole potential love interest this season and they absolutely did not resolve a damn thing about it.

Again, this takes a trope that we all know - the young army man that's going to go home and finally marry his girl, who has his whole life ahead of him, but dies tragically in his final mission - and seemingly intentionally subverts the beats. Because what makes the trope work is that the plot line is resolved as soon as that young man decides how he's going to move forward. He can't die uncertain of if he's going to marry his girl, he has to make a decision, and the longer we spend on the relationship to his girl the stronger the decision has to be to consider the narrative line resolved and free him up for some tragedy.

Tech/Phee is a tentative little 'will they or won't they' romance. They're flirting, they're feeling each other out, they're seeing if they're compatible. To tie up this narrative line we would have to find out if they are or not, get a yes or a no on the question. Will they or won't they? We simply don't know because the writers didn't put a resolution in.

We do get the traditional pre-mission scene with them, which would normally be when we get the first kiss or perhaps the promise of a date, either of which would have had me digging Tech's grave for him to fall into from the second it happened. Or even a 'we can't do this right now, but maybe some day it will be the right time' which would have been a kind of lukewarm resolution but would have at least represented a decision.

Instead we get a scene that almost aggressively refuses to resolve anything. They have an awkward interaction, but not one that says they won't get together, no promises are made for the future, no decision point is reached, and the plot line is still dangling wide open when Tech falls to his supposed death. If we truly leave it off here, well, what was the Tech/Phee subplot for? Why did we spend precious time on it when it could have been spent on something else, if it was meant to make Tech's death hit harder why did it not go further?

A second subplot with Tech is that he certainly made the most progress on seeing options outside of the Empire - it starts early on in Ruins of War when he meets Romar and gets his eyes opened to the idea of cultures that existed unconnected to the war. Serenno existed before the war and before the separatists, and Romar introduces Tech to that idea of an ongoing culture. He gets a taste of racing in front of a cheering crowd, leans further into his teaching of Omega and gets new insights from her regarding their lives as soldiers, his relationship with Phee picks up right when he finds out that she is interested in the preservation of cultures. It's a quiet little subplot, but Tech was seeing the full scope of what the galaxy contained beyond being a soldier in a war.

But, like the Tech/Phee, it never resolves. He never decides to settle down, he never chooses to stop being a soldier or even openly discusses the idea of what life will look like after. Rescuing Crosshair isn't positioned as a final mission that they have to complete in order to give up their lives as soldiers. Without that decision point being reached, the plot stays open, we never find out what he Would Have Done so we don't get a sense of the future that he would lose by dying, which is what the purpose of these types of plots is for a planned permadeath.

The Kaminoans don't create without purpose and writers working on a three season timeline don't typically write without it either. So if we spent the time on Tech/Phee but Tech is dead before it ever went anywhere, if we spent time on Tech's relationship with being something other than a soldier but he never really pursues it, what is the payoff?

Too Much of a Survivor To Die?

There's also the matter of how they chose to build Tech's character this season. Namely they beefed that man's skills up incredibly high making it intensely unbelievable that he's dead without seeing some sort of concrete proof. Things we know about Tech as of the end of season 2 include:

Incredible pain tolerance - Tech fractures his femur in Ruins of War and seems shockingly unbothered by it. The femur is frequently listed as one of the most painful bones to break. This is not a broken toe the man is hobbling around on, he fractured the strongest bone in the body and kept going through the woods. He physically fought and killed a man with that busted femur.

Lightning fast mental processing - this is of course on display nowhere so much as Faster where he's put up against droids and wins by taking calculated risks that no one else is willing to try.

A cool head in stressful circumstances - this one is hilarious because he outright says it, but Tech does demonstrate time and time again that when it comes down to it, he's able to keep calm no matter the circumstances.

Essentially, we spend the entirety of season 2 setting up why Tech is the perfect person to drop out of the sky and have him survive. He has the ability to keep calm and come up with a plan in seconds and he has the grit to keep moving even if he's grievously injured once he hits the ground. When you set a character up like this, you can still kill them, but you have to work harder to do it convincingly. Leaving Tech not at the moment of death but with probably at least a minute to act in and then not showing us the body is the exact opposite.

We have a moment in The Crossing showing us Tech's precise aim, and it comes up again to brutal effect when he shoots out the connection on the rail car. If moments through the season were used to set up that particular instant of the finale, then we can't discount the numerous scenes demonstrating his survival skills as being irrelevant to his chances.

Plus, looking back at Ruins of War - one of the big moments in the episode is towards the end, where Romar tells Tech, "I'm a survivor. Remember?" The camera then lingers on Tech for a long moment. It's not the kind of action that demonstrates his capabilities as above, but it works to associate the words with Tech in the viewers mind. Romar is a survivor, and Tech is a survivor too. And when you intend to kill someone off, it's kind of an odd choice to spend that whole season setting them up as a survivor.

THE FALL

Which brings us to the scene itself. Plan 99, implied to be one of the last ditch plans that they have. It's absolutely a heartbreaking scene, and one that can be tough to analyze when it's so well done, because it's rough to watch repeatedly. But, it's worth doing, because the scene itself is FULL of questions, some structural others more based in the visual presentation.

What is Plan 99?

Well, that's just it, we don't actually know.

We know what it's implied to be, a self sacrifice plan where one of the batch gives their life for the others to get away. But in show it's never actually defined, leaving the full meaning of Plan 99 up to interpretation. It could be as simple as what it's implied to be, but that brings up questions like 'why not provide any lead up or foreshadowing for it?' and 'does killing yourself actually count as a plan?'

Removing the assumptions from it gives us room to speculate. Is the plan actually that they leave him behind, dead or alive? Hunter ordered them to do so without a plan number in season 1, but he is the sergeant, so plan 99 could easily be something that bypasses his authority - if a batcher calls a plan 99, you go and you don't question his decision. It's certainly closer to a plan if there's something they are supposed to be doing from their end rather than just an announcement of intent.

It's not strictly evidence one way or another, but it is something of note when Tech's entire sacrifice is based around a plan that we're not privy to the details of. TBB has hidden its twists in ambiguity before, so it would not be the first time that it let us assume something only to pull the rug out later. But ambiguity is not the only thing that makes this scene stand out in the raising questions department.

Pacing Goes Out The Window

Generally speaking, a self sacrifice is the climax of an episode. Think Kanan, Hardcase, Gregor, Hevy, etc - Even a minor character sacrificing their life tends to make up the most climactic portion of any given episode, let alone one of the characters from the title squad. It gets to be the big central moment, the big rush of music and feeling, the pinnacle of the viewers attention.

Tech's sacrifice is not. It happens around 5 minutes into the episode, is rapidly moved past with barely a moment to think, and then the actual climax is Omega's capture on Ord Mantell. They even repeat the music when Omega is captured, except much stronger this time, making it clear that this is the emotional crux of the episode, this is the scene that is supposed to stick with you.

The opportunity to make it the climax of an episode was certainly there. The storyline could have been adjusted to put Tech's fall at the end of The Summit, allowing more time in Plan 99 for processing his loss and making it feel final. The pacing choice is one that doesn't allow the viewer to process the loss, only giving us maybe a couple minutes of time with actual emotional reactions before we're barreling off to the next plot point. Why was Tech's death de-emphasized within the episode if it is indeed our last moment with this central character?

Tarkin, Eriadu, & Saw Gerrera

A lot goes into the set-up for Plan 99. We have Tarkin's base on Eriadu as the setting they're working within, going up against Tarkin for the first time since early season 1. This is the big leagues, and something that's come up in multiple interviews is that when going into the den of one of the franchise's big bads we have to have consequences, something to demonstrate that Tarkin is not to be trifled with.

Sounds reasonable enough. Except Tarkin doesn't actually do anything in either of these episodes. The thing that actually threw them off was Saw's planning mixing in with their own.

All Tarkin does upon finding out that the batch is stuck on the rail is order an air strike and ignore that this would kill many of his own men. This is certainly evil, but it's standard Imperial evil. Rampart would have given that order. Hemlock would have given that order. The guy in Tipping Point that we know for 5 minutes before he fried himself would have given that order.

So if the point of this finale was to demonstrate Tarkin's power, then bringing Saw in both complicates the plot and devalues what they're claiming they are trying to show. So is the point to get them to Tantiss? No, because they fail in that. They don't plant the tracker, they're no closer to finding Crosshair than they were before.

By all accounts the point of the whole endeavor is in fact just to drop Tech off a sky rail for reasons unknown and injure Omega to force them to go back to Ord Mantell. These two things could have happened anywhere in any way of course, so why choose Eriadu and why choose to complicate the plot by introducing Saw rather than letting Tarkin handle the job?

They're questions we don't have answers to yet, but they're very hard to get answers to if Tech is dead and completely out of the picture. Having a dead body on Eriadu is fairly useless to the plot, having a living Tech on Eriadu though? That has potential to move them huge leaps forward in a very short amount of time once we bring him back in. Especially given his conversation with Saw prior to everything going downhill - Tech was in favor of gathering intel from the facility rather than destroying it.

And what about Saw, anyway? If he was genuinely there to cause problems and fly away, again, that's a plot wrinkle that isn't needed and took time away from everything else. If he's there because they needed someone to pick Tech up though? There's potential there.

Did Tech's Sacrifice Mean Anything?

In universe, Tech's sacrifice means everything, of course. It's a decision made in the moment to risk everything to save his family. It's a noble deed and one he does without hesitation. But pulling away from that narrow scope of an in universe perspective, what did we accomplish narratively with his fall?

Well... not much actually! They got over the bump in the road that they encountered all of five seconds ago and promptly crashed headfirst into another, different bump in the road. Tech's dramatic sacrifice didn't allow them to escape unharmed, it didn't allow them to find Crosshair, it just allowed them to move a few steps forward, after which Omega is almost killed and then captured, which is a fairly weak reason to sacrifice a whole major character.

But not every character death is exclusively about narrative, sometimes it's about the character arc itself. So does this close out anything for Tech's character development? Again, not really. Tech has always been completely loyal to the squad and would have risked anything for his family. He never had a choice not to fall, it was either just him or the whole team, and he is an endlessly logical actor. The action would have played out the same had it happened in the series premier or the season 1 finale, or any other time in the show. If anything it's a backtrack on his character by putting him solidly back into the soldier box that the show is trying to let the clones grow out of.

Maybe it's not about Tech's character though, maybe it's about everyone else's! Does his death change anyone's trajectory? Again... no, not really. We'll get into season 3's lack of mentioning Tech later, but in the immediate aftermath of his fall, no one's course or actions is majorly changed because of his loss. Hunter wants to go back to Pabu where it's safe, the same thing he wanted to do before they ever left for this mission. Omega puts herself in danger to save her brothers, which has been one of her defining traits since season one. Wrecker is following Hunter's lead, same as he always did. (We get very little of what Echo hopes to do, but the opening of season 3 reveals that they went back to work with Rex, exactly like they were doing before.)

So narratively nothing required him to die, the character's arc isn't completed, and the other characters aren't motivated to change. If Tech dies here, it's the picture of a shock value death. It doesn't complete or inform his character, it doesn't need to narratively happen in order to put Omega on the path to being captured, and thematically it exists just to give the viewer an unnecessary gut-punch when just the failure to rescue Crosshair and the loss of Omega would have been enough.

Framing is Everything

In a death scene there's nothing more powerful than our final shot of a character. The very last we'll ever see of them, the image that will linger in our minds when we think of that character from then on. This is especially important in animation where everything has to go through several iterations before deciding on what that final look will be. You want it to be impactful, you want the audience to have one final connection to the character before they're gone for good.

So why does Tech die with his helmet on?

If there's one thing TBB is good at, it's their expression work, and a death scene is a perfect place to show off their full range, which is why most deaths meant to have a heavy impact occur with faces unobscured. Crosshair loses his helmet and takes Mayday's off so we can see both of their faces as Mayday dies, Slip, Cade, even Clone X and Wilco, all die helmetless. Looking into older series you have Kanan dying without his mask, Fives, Hardcase, Waxer all dying helmetless with one last good look at their faces and expressions.

And while Tech's helmet gives us a good look at his eyes, the rest of his face goes unseen, and Wrecker's face as he watches this happen is completely obscured. We're denied a look at a lot of their expressions as the decision is made and Plan 99 is executed, rendering it less personal than it otherwise could have been. Tech could have lost his helmet in the blast that knocked him from the rail, Wrecker could have had his helmet knocked off at some point to give us a good look at his expression. TBB isn't known for pulling its punches, so why leave our final look at Tech's face back in The Summit and not here?

Then there's the framing choices. We get some absolutely amazing shots of Tech during the fall, from taking the shot to falling backwards towards the cloudy cover - but here's where some interesting choices are made. Rather than letting our last shot of him be a face up shot that keeps eye contact with the camera as he falls, they make the choice to have him flip over, and we hold the shot as the rail car goes down after him, partially obscuring him.

Which means instead of our last glimpse of Tech being something like this.

We end up with something closer to this.

Which, while we all love those Tech crotch shots is somewhat less impactful emotionally. These frames go through multiple departments and get multiple eyes on them before going through final animation, and no one thought that leaving him face up and unobscured until he disappears into the fog would stick more firmly in the viewer's memory?

The Flip Might be Intentional

And I don't just mean out of universe, as every detail of animation is often intentional, but in universe as well. If you look closely at Tech as he falls, he seems to roll his shoulders back in order to begin flipping over. It was a specific enough detail to send me searching for a reason and I found it in instructions on how to survive a long fall - the first thing that you're supposed to do? Get into the arch position like a skydiver to slow and control your fall.

The flip was important enough to not only include but to include the small detail of Tech intentionally flipping himself over into said position. It's not a confirmation but it's an interesting detail, and one that has very few other reasons to exist.

THE AFTERMATH

Image chosen because even thinking he's alive I didn't want to pull from Omega reacting to the fall on Ord Mantell. Looking at her makes me Sad. So the fall has happened, the rail car has rushed forward and crashed, and Omega fades in and out of consciousness until finally waking up on Ord Mantell to the bad news.

"What if he's hurt?"

Omega is our POV character for the show. We may sometimes see things she doesn't, but emotionally she remains the center of the narrative, the character that the target audience will see themselves in. Her ultimate thoughts on a situation are the closest we have to a clear indicator of our intended takeaway.

So it's interesting that the first thing we hear out of her, having heard that Tech 'didn't make it,' is a firm denial. He can't be gone, he might be hurt, he needs them and they need to go back for him. And, despite Hunter continuing to talk with her about it for a bit, we never actually hear Omega explicitly take it back or verbally acknowledge Tech as dead. The closest we get is 'lost' which she also uses for Echo in The Crossing.

Now, here's where the interpretation between the adult and child audience will likely differ. From an adult perspective, this is a reasonable reaction for a child her age. It comes off as very natural that she doesn't want to accept it and that she doesn't have time to really process that it's true before the scene moves on. It makes sense from an in universe perspective.

However, the main audience is still children who actually are Omega's age and who are being presented with her as their window into this world. And their takeaway, seeing that same scene, is likely to be that Omega is correct. They don't know that Tech's dead, just because an adult says it doesn't make it true and just because Hemlock says it DEFINITELY doesn't mean it's true, they have to go back and check.

If they wanted the main audience to think that Tech is dead for sure, they could have had Omega be the one to say that he's gone, with Hunter simply confirming it for her. Alternatively, Omega accepting it when Hunter tells her would also function in the same way - ultimately, as the POV character, if Omega doesn't accept it there's a strong possibility much of the audience won't accept it either, especially without other evidence.

No Body?

And, as we all know, we simply don't have other concrete evidence. Not only are the batch given no time to look for Tech's body or any confirmation that he died, but we get a whole scene with Hemlock and the goggles where he also confirms verbally that he doesn't have a body either. There's very little reason to have him say this outside of putting a bug in the viewer's ear that he might not be gone for good.

Not only do we have that verbal confirmation, but we have multiple places where a body could have been included or implied without adding much to the runtime.

Easiest place would probably be when Omega passes out - there's a trooper's corpse right there in front of her, and it would have been very easy to make that identifiable as Tech. Have one of the boys check his pulse like Crosshair did with Mayday and then be forced to leave after confirming he's dead. Would it require a little bit of fudging the details of how he landed so close to them, sure, but it would have been narratively streamlined and easy.

Have Hemlock bring his helmet rather than his goggles (and damage it in a way clearly incompatible with survival) or confirm that he did find a body but has no use for the goggles.

Put the body in Hemlock's lab when Omega is brought there at the end of the episode. Have a sheet covering him even if you want and just one of his hands hanging out, especially the one with the distinctive light on the back of it. Give us her reaction to that.

These are just the ones that don't involve adding scenes or making major changes - instead, in a franchise known for bringing back everyone and their grandmother especially if there's no body, they chose to leave it extremely vague.

Reused Score

The soundtrack for Tech's sacrifice is fantastic, I don't think anyone can argue that. In fact it's so good that it's used occasionally used as a reason for why he's dead for real. If it's a fakeout, why go so hard on the music?

It almost sounds like a reasonable argument, except that the music isn't even unique to Tech's fall. We get the same motif later in the episode with Omega's capture, and it actually comes in even harder and more impactful there than it did with Tech falling.

Reusing bits of the music has two results. It lessens the impact of hearing it with Tech if it is in fact his Death music, because it makes it clear that he is not the central feeling of the episode but rather, Omega's capture is. As mentioned before, deaths are usually the climax of their own episodes partially to avoid them being upstaged by any other plot points, but here Omega's capture is fully prioritized over the loss of one of our central characters.

The second result is that it changes the meaning of the music. It's no longer meant specifically to underscore a tragic death, but rather a more general one of loss and separation. And if it's simply about that separation, then it no longer requires Tech to be dead to have that same impact. They're apart from each other, and that's painful enough.

SEASON 3 SO FAR

Which of course finally brings us to season 3! We're five episodes in as of the posting of this, so a full 1/3rd of the season down, which gives us a good idea of how they're handling the whole grief aspect of this scenario.

They Aren't!

That's right, we simply have not directly acknowledged or dealt with the whole 'watching your squadmate fall to a presumed horrible death' thing even once in five episodes. Tech has been mentioned by name twice, we've seen his goggles once, and Wrecker makes one sideways reference to him having not made it back.

In universe, there is a several month timeskip and it seems to be implied that the majority of the grief milestones happened in that gap. For example, we don't see Crosshair finding out from Omega, we don't see Omega grieving her brother, we don't see Phee finding out (more on her in a bit) despite her fledgling romance. Months of grieving and processing skipped over and what comes out the other side is single line mentions that go by in seconds.

This is especially apparent after episode 5, where we got something to compare it to. Crosshair has a long, painful moment of grieving with Mayday's helmet when they return to Barton IV. It's deep, personal, and intimate and we take a minute with him gathering up the helmets of Mayday and his men to set them up on the crates the same way that Mayday had honored them.

Mayday is a one episode character that was important to only a single character, Crosshair - Tech is a core member of the team present through two full seasons and shown as close to every member of the squad. Yet the single scene grieving Mayday is longer and more emotionally gripping than every short mention of Tech so far in season 3.

Narrative Grief

Seeing characters grieve their loved ones onscreen is about more than just the characters themselves. It's also part of the viewer experience - through the characters' grief, we're able to process our own grief at the loss. It makes it feel real, it makes it feel personal, and the amount of grieving needs to be proportionate to the character's importance in the story.

This is especially true in a show written for children like The Bad Batch. Kids don't typically have the same experience with death as adults, and a well written main character death within a children's show will need more time and energy spent towards making the loss feel real. We see this with deaths like Kanan's; it wasn't Jedi Night that told the viewer that Kanan was really, truly dead, it was Dume, where the characters mourned him and dealt with the aftermath.

Currently, with Tech, we do see holes in the team that make us miss Tech but they remain completely unaddressed by the characters. We see Tech's goggles, but Hunter isn't looking at them, he's looking at Lula. Omega mentions Tech having taught her all the plans, but without any real sadness on her or Crosshair's part. The closest we get to actually bringing it up are Wrecker saying 'not everyone came back' and Echo mentioning the datapad would be difficult without Tech, and both of those are only seconds long before moving on. They don't serve as any kind of catharsis for the viewer, relying more on gut punch impact and keeping the wound open rather than allowing it to heal. The difference between the treatment of Tech's death and Mayday's just makes it more stark.

How Do You Like Yearning?

Interestingly, though, it strongly resembles the writing team's handling of another situation: Crosshair's departure from the team in season 1 vs Echo's in season 2. The show even drew a lot of flack for the lack of discussion on Crosshair's betrayal, as outside of a couple conversations the matter often went unremarked on. Echo leaving, on the other hand, got a whole episode dedicated to processing the loss immediately after it happened.

So what was the difference? Crosshair's departure is part of a long term plot point. We're supposed to want him back, we're supposed to want the team to talk about him, anything that would ease the tension. The writers on the other hand want that tension to remain until it's time to actually resolve the plot. So we get those slow drips in between bigger encounters, we get opportunities for Crosshair to come home that he doesn't take, and we don't get the catharsis of the team actually talking about any of it. We're left to want and imagine it, using the yearning to keep it on people's minds more than anything.

If Crosshair had been discussed on screen long enough for the characters to actually come to terms with his absence, though, that would have made the plot feel more settled and resolved early on. It might be conversations we want to see, but it doesn't keep the viewer on edge and craving a resolution. Best case scenario we're just not as desperate for Crosshair to come home - worst case scenario we accept that he won't be returning and find the fact that he eventually does to be unrealistic.

Echo on the other hand gets their absence processed immediately, because their absence from the team is not meant to be a huge plot point. It's something the team has to deal with, yes, and the viewer wants to see them again just like Omega does, but Echo returning isn't meant to be a maybe, and it's not supposed to keep the viewer wondering and worrying. It's a when, not an if.

Similarly to Crosshair, Tech has never felt like a resolved plot point. We don't get confirmation on his death, we don't get any long term grieving, and we get drip fed acknowledgements that pry the wound back open. If we actually see the team discuss and come to terms with their grief and loss, the plot point closes, the wound closes and we begin to fully accept a team without Tech in it, which makes it harder to reinsert him into the storyline if he is in fact alive.

If he's truly gone for good, what is the point of denying closure to the audience? We know that they are capable of writing an intense mourning moment that feels completely in character for otherwise emotionally repressed men such as Crosshair, so why not give us that with the team mourning for Tech? A memorial, an intimate moment with the goggles, a short scene of Crosshair finding out about the loss, or anything at all really? Once again it's something that makes sense if he's alive and we're simply not being shown yet, but makes very little sense to not capitalize on if he's dead.

What's to Come

We have ten episodes of season 3 to go, and a lot to cover. Reviews have indicated that Tech is not explicitly brought up in the first eight, so the earliest we could possibly have a survival reveal is in episode 9. Will it actually happen? Maybe, maybe not. Though interestingly episode 9, The Harbinger, is almost exactly one year after Plan 99, just like The Return aired almost one year after The Outpost. Could mean nothing, but they do enjoy their anniversary dates.

One thing we do know for sure is coming up is Phee's inclusion - she's seen in the official trailer, as well as briefly in a recent twitter spot. This is interesting as Phee is, of course, Tech's teased love interest, and her connection to Tech has been emphasized multiple times, including on her Databank entry and the official 'what you need to know about season 3' guide. When she comes onto the scene, it's very likely that more information about Tech will too.

MARKETING, INTERVIEWS, & SOCIAL MEDIA

I wanted to keep this mostly focused on what can be seen within the show itself, but it's impossible to talk about whether or not Tech is alive without pointing to the absolutely bizarre messaging from the cast and crew, as well as the marketing choices surrounding his sacrifice. (Example: the Instagram Mourning Filter they layered over him in the official trailer, as seen above) I won't get quite as detailed here as in the above, but it does have to be mentioned.

Constant Focus

In between the end of season 2 and the posting of the season 3 trailer in late January, there were several posts on various official Star Wars media. The majority of them were about Tech and Plan 99. In fact, I don't think I ever saw anything mentioning the giant 'Omega's been captured' cliffhanger, just Tech. Over and over again.

Once a character is dead, marketing generally stops caring about them. They're forward focused after all, they want you coming back for what's to come not lingering on what won't be relevant again. So why the constant focus on Tech?

And it wasn't just the social media either - a huge portion of the trailers and reels included old footage of him too. For the most part this was from Plan 99 and bringing up his fall again to rip open those old wounds, but in one case they included action footage from The Summit. This was an interesting case, because the majority of people watching wouldn't have recognized it immediately. Fittingly, the entire comment section was full of nothing but 'Was that Tech?' style comments, which they would have known was going to be the case to start with.

So why are we so focused on a man that's supposedly dead? If he's genuinely never going to show up again why keep putting him in? Everything? While not even bringing him up all that often in the show? If he's dead, this is a truly bizarre marketing decision.

Never Say Die

In interviews or in official material. For several months the word 'dead' was never used for Tech anywhere, not in interviews, not in official material, nowhere. It took until January 23rd for all of the databank entries to be updated, and among all of the main cast he's only referred to as 'killed' once, and it's on Hunter's page not even his own. Then, the Friday before the premier, an interview came out referring to him as dead - on the part of the interviewer, not the creators themselves.

Everything else seems to use a variety of euphemisms. His sacrifice, his absence, his loss, he 'plummeted out of sight', he 'fell from a tram car', he did absolutely anything it's possible to do except outright die apparently.

It's an odd choice when there's known controversy over if he's dead or not. The standard operating protocol of course, in a planned comeback, is to refer to them as dead anyway and allow fandom to fuel its own speculation, but with a fandom as devastated as TBB's was, it's quite possible that the odd behavior had to be introduced just to keep speculation going. The only interviews that sound remotely final came out right before the episodes started coming out - if they had done that from the beginning, the chances of people outright refusing to come back to the show likely would have been higher.

Much like the marketing, this is not necessarily proof of anything - but in combination with the multiple odd things in the show itself, it's certainly suspicious. Speaking of suspicious...

What an Odd Thing to Say

The cast and crew themselves have not been skimping on making strange comments when it comes to the Tech situation.

There is of course the well known Joel Aron (lighting director for the series) tweet that came out the day of the Celebrations panel (AKA when the Tech trauma was at an all time high) and in direct reply to a fan that was having a hard time with Tech's death. It's hard to take it as anything but a reference to Tech given the timing, and it was certainly taken as being about Tech in the quote tweets. If it's not about Tech, why tease the fandom with it? And the specification for it being a mid s3 episode as well...

Also from the day of Celebrations, and from the panel itself, we have Michelle Ang saying in front of God and everybody, that Tech "doesn't come back... in this episode, at least." At the time there was a possibility she didn't know and was just leaving it open, but with that only being ten months ago and the extremely long timeframe of animation, it's almost certain that she would have been done with all primary recording by that point. If you know he's not coming back, how do you accidentally imply that he is with no one correcting it?

Dee Bradley Baker, when asked for a farewell message from Tech at a con, came out with "the life of a soldier is fulfilled by fulfilling his mission and supporting his brothers. And this was the end of mine. And that's a good thing." Which was a perfectly serviceable goodbye right up until he said that the end of Tech's (life? soldier's life? mission?) was a good thing.

During an instagram interview we have Deana Kiner, one of the composers, in response to the interviewer talking about the final episode containing a major loss, saying, "It's kind of a loss... It's complicated." The claim on twitter was that this was about Omega, because everyone knows that when someone mentions the major loss in Plan 99 they're definitely talking about Omega.

So is Tech alive? Is Tech dead? We still don't know. But while one or two of the above might be a coincidence, having all of them at once coalesce around this single character death is a lot to chew over. The Bad Batch team has shown willingness to address grief and loss prior, as well as a willingness to show us death onscreen and front and center. So why, with such an important character, sidestep it all in order to keep it vague? Why keep it from sounding final for so long, if the intent the entire time was for him to be dead for good?

We won't know until he either shows back up or the show ends. If Tech's alive, all of the above starts to make sense. If he's dead... well a lot of things will just never quite add up. I feel that this team has shown enough willingness to follow up on their trailing plotlines that they've earned my trust. Fingers crossed for a satisfying resolution for all of us, and for our boy Tech, whatever that resolution may be.

[moodymisty]

𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝕸𝖊

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Author's Note: Part 2! I know it came out kinda fast, but part 3 might take a bit longer since it's a bit more heavy than these first 2 chapters. It will also feature much more of our spooky man than this one has. Either way, I hope you enjoy meeting our stinky little Night Lord.

Summary: A Night Lord becomes interested in you while you stand under the eyes of your Salamander guardian, and you find yourself stuck between two titans.

Relationships: Yandere Salamander/Fem!Reader/Yandere Night Lord

Warnings: Hints of nsfw at points, Yandere, Size differences, Very toxic suffocating relationship(s), Some knight/princess dynamics, Demeaning language, Both these guys have hero complexes, Violence blood and bruises and possibly death to say without spoilers

Word Count: 3446

You need to eat. 

When Ralkan had told you to stay you’d trusted his judgment; Staying put in your quarters. It wasn’t safe for you on your own, not with Night Lords now prowling around. At least in his eyes. You didn’t have enough information to feel either way about it, though you can't say you have no fear of astartes you don't know.

Even when you first came aboard this ship, coming face to face with astartes for the first time- even as their kind faces smiled and they gave you polite dips of their head and welcomed you aboard- you still felt the heart pounding fear of seeing towering warriors on the line between human and something else.

Floating in the vastness of space beside the Flamewrought, Night Lord ships linger around with an unnerving aura you could feel when looking out any of the large viewports. it almost was like the ships were leering, as ridiculous as such a notion sounds.

There wasn’t much you could do in hidden away in your quarters, however. You could only write so much before you could no longer avoid the growling of your stomach, and the way it aches.

You can just go to the mess hall and get something to eat, and rush back to your quarters. It's not as if you have other options in the matter; He surely hadn't expected you to just starve, or get someone to wait on your hand and foot.

You had your fill of that on Terra. You can get your own food, you aren't a child anymore. And this ship is alive and well, you aren't going to let yourself fear some invisible terror in the dark.

Having your fill of hermitry you get up from your desk chair, leaving the small quarters that have been designated as your own. It has only the basics; A bed, a desk and chair, and a few other basics for a human to live. Perhaps it isn't as grandiose as a study in your highrise on Terra, in the shadow of the gilded Imperium palace, but it is far more freeing.

Upon leaving hall was relatively empty; They hadn't felt content to put you in quarters with other baseline humans, but you were still far away from the Salamanders own barracks. You were sure Ralkan had a say in this intentional placement as your guardian.

Down adjacent halls you can sometimes see a hint of dark blue armor pass the corner of your eye as you walk, but by the time you go to look, it’s gone. You've seen glimpses of the Night Lords now that they're aboard the ship, but you've avoided a full confrontation as of yet.

Ralkan's suffocating protection has done a good job of it. However he has his duties and cannot be around you always, and you’ll take the moment to take a deep breath free of him for just a little while.

You would never say you dispised him, but his aggravating behavior has begun to make your quarters feel like a cage. You cant stay in there forever, you have to eat. You doubt he would scold you for such a thing.

When you reach the mess hall you quickly grab a heaping portion of food- anyone who notices pays no heed to the amount- and sit to quickly shovel it all down. It's less than appealing taste is like nothing else now, with how hungry you are, and you find it gone within minutes. Only crumbs are left, and finally you're full again.

You quickly get up and move to shuffle back to your quarters not moments after the last bit of food hits your belly. If you're quick and avoid too many eyes he'll never know, and you two can both continue being sweet on one another with him being none the wiser.

His heart is in the right place; It's just that his grip is far too tight.

Your feet hit the floor at a quick place, walking as fast as you can go. The halls are a bit emptier than they were earlier, but you notice your door is within sight after what feels like only a few minute trek. When you get in, you can continue to write about Commander Artellius, and your time with the Salamanders. Being in travel has made things largely uneventful, other than the edition of the new temporary allies.

You reach towards the door open it, when a voice cuts the air and nearly startles you into to the ceiling.

“Well, what is this?”

The voice is loud, with an odd accent that warps his words ever so slightly. The shadows overtaking you are massive, and they almost seem to have appeared out of nowhere.

Maybe they had been following you. You were too busy staring at your own feet to notice, worried about making it back before a fellow of Ralkan spotted you out and out.

With no other option you turn and look up, gazing over dark blue armor with dents and scratches, marked with brass edging and red accents.

Only one had spoke, but there's three here; The middle is the tallest, but the one to his right is the most scarred; And the one that spoke, judging by the way he's smiling. He's the cockiest one, clearly.

The one in the middle has skin pallid and marked, a massive, jagged scar cutting across the bridge of his nose and brow. You think his irises might be a color, brown or grey, but there’s something in them that almost seems to suck the light out of everything around him and make them almost as black as his hair. But unlike his brother, he's yet to speak a word.

Your hand hovers over the handle of your door, frozen. You've barely even looked to the third Night Lord to your right.

Stuck like prey, you jolt as you spot an armored hand begins to reach towards your face from the corner of your eye, towards your jaw, and you yelp as it clamps around your jawline. Instantly your own hands try to pull at his armored fingers, teeth gritting as he holds far too tight. The cocky one steps a bit closer and turns your face as if examining a curious trinket, before he notices something.

“She’s all bruised,” He says, his thumb shoving your cheek and pushing it.

You were? When Ralkan grabbed you last you saw him he must’ve done so too hard. You can’t feel it hurting, but you are more than used to the smattering of bruises across your skin from him. Even at his most gentle, it’s obvious he isn’t made with it in mind.

You look up at the one gripping you, watching his eyes rake over you. He laughs, a gravely chuckle that you can feel in your chest as his own rumbles. The third one simply watches, body blocking the only escape path away from the other two. He's watching, like the act of doing so is more amusing that actually joining in.

“I thought the Salamanders were supposed to be altruistic.”

The Night Lord turns your face harder, and you gasp trying to pull at his gauntlet to free yourself even a minutia. Your muscles ache, jaw yelling in pain as his gauntlet is like a vice grip around the bottom half of your face.

“Hey, careful.”

The one in the middle finally speaks up for the first time, and the one grabbing you turns to him and scowls, clicking his tongue. His nose wrinkles but he doesn't let go of you, goading his taller brother.

“What, you suddenly care? We don’t feed other people's pets.”

Reaching forward he tugs one of your hands away from your captor's gauntlet, raising it for your captor to easily see.

“Look at the clothes. I think she’s important.”

The one grabbing you scoffs and turns away, pulling you around again. His other gauntlet grabs at your other arm, and looks at your hand. His face perks considerably, and the jolt of fear it sends through you beats all others.

"Ink stains. You don't work. You're soft."

Something on his face and in his voice changes, and you try to dig your heels into the ground in some fruitless effort to stay put.

"Volya." The middle one says as your capture seems to be readying to pick you up. You can barely open your jaw to speak let alone yell, unless someone spots you, you stand no chance of getting out of where ever he's planning on taking you.

"Yeah yeah, she's important; What important person is shoved back here by all the serfs and storage? They won't notice."

You yelp digging your heels deeper, and briefly look at the one who has voiced even the tiniest bit of concern for you. He catches your gaze, and something changes in his eyes as your hands pull at the fingers that hold you.

Moments later he grabs at his battle brother’s gauntlet, the ceramite clanking against each other as armor plates collide. Your captor looks at the taller one like he's furious at just being touched.

“We’re already far out-numbered on this ship. Just leave it. Find a less important one to toy with.”

He looks at his brother for a moment, nose wrinkled and teeth barred, and you can feel the air change like a fight is brewing; But he lets you go.

“Fine.”

Taking his fellow with him the two Night Lords leave you and the tallest of the three, the one who stood up for you, alone. You rub your jaw and look up at him. He watches with an unreadable expression on his unkempt face.

“...Thank you,”

You say, and you’re surprised by the way he reacts to it. Though his surprise fades away, as he smiles. It feels like his teeth are too big for his mouth, his two sharp fangs press against the inside of his upper lip.

“It talks? A surprise.”

Whereas Ralkan is stoic and mindful, this man is the opposite; His smile is cocky and posture relaxed even in his hulking armor. His arms cross, but given the size of his chestplate, the closest he can get to fully doing so is gripping his forearms with the opposite hand.

You swallow the knot in your throat. You know that while he did chase the other two away, it's very well possible it's only because he wanted you to himself.

Though maybe it's that curiosity in you- the thing that Ralkan seems so irritated by- that has you prying for answers rather than just crying and pleading for him to let you leave.

“What is your name? You’re the first of your Legion I’ve met.” 

That wasn’t the question he expected to hear, you suppose. His face perks with surprise and curiosity not unlike a child.

“Lev.”

Ralkan told you they enjoy terrorizing the weak, only picking fights that they know they can win by overwhelming odds. You'd say if you didn't cower like prey maybe he would leave you alone, but that's impossible when Lev is a terrifying example of just how little of a thing you are, in comparison to these giants.

But he doesn't seem like how Ralkan described them on first impression, however. Perhaps he’s just hiding it so you let your guard down. Though why would he risk a fight with his battle brothers if that was the case?

“We didn't know they had any of you studious types on board. Do they keep you all locked up?” 

You're sure Ralkan would like to, if he had his way with it. Had he been less inclined to take your opinion seriously, you'd probably be chained somewhere in your quarters, right about now.

"I was, informed, to stay in my quarters until you all left the ship."

Lev snorts, his smirk lopsided. Before he has a chance to say anything more, you notice that he has blood coming from one nostril, down his lip. It’s dry, but you wonder if he was in a fight and broke his nose not long ago. The bruising around it and dipping underneath his eyes adds to the theory.

“You’re bleeding…”

You say, gesturing to your own nose. He brushes his gauntlet against his upper lip, and watches dried blood fall to the ground. He licks his upper lip, and more of the blood wipes away. You find yourself more distracted by the gesture than one would like.

“Ahh, one of your Salamanders saying things he shouldn’t have; He could throw a punch, but couldn’t take one.” He smiles at you again.

“I didn’t kill him, if you’re worried about him.” "Believe me, I wanted to. All these overgrown lot are a bunch of stuck up types. You think they'd learn to keep their mouths shut before I take something from it."

You get the hint that he's joking, as odd as that is; Salamanders don't often joke. But you also get the hint that the only reason he didn't kill the man, was that as he mentioned before, he's greatly outnumbered on the Flamewrought.

You hadn't been thinking about the Salamander oddly enough however, too focused on the purple and blue bruising scattered across the hump of his nose. Your eyebrows raise, back still pressed against the wall.

“But, are you ok?”

You mumble, watching his eyes look over you. It almost looks like he thinks you're messing with him, until he seems to realize you were serious, and his expression mellows a bit. He uncrosses his arms and reaches a hand for you, and unlike his battle brother, you don't shirk away from his gauntlet nearly as much.

He grabs your jaw much in the same way his battle brother had earlier, but soft enough that it doesn't hurt.

"You stink like one of them," He remarks, and you assume he's referring to the Salamanders. His fingers grip your chin and pull it upward, exposing more of your neck.

He looked as if he was going to open his mouth and speak more, but a voice cuts through the air and stops him dead.

“Do you not have somewhere to be, Night Lord?”

Ralkan's voice makes your heart nearly stop, though you can’t manage to pull your eyes away from the Night Lord even as he approaches with thundering footfall. Lev however does, and looks towards the Salamander who stands no more than a meter to his right. You can see his face sour as he’s forced to drop his hand.

“Perhaps. But I believe on our arrival you said we were welcome guests, can I not wander?”

Ralkan steps forward, just short of trying to shove his slightly larger body between the both of you. He reaches for you, a massive green gauntlet landing on your shoulder.

“Move along, Son of Curze.”

He gives Ralkan a look. One that while irritated, is pleased that he managed to get under the Salamander’s skin.

But the Night Lord still hesitates to leave, watching as you shrink under the shadow of your returned guardian. For a moment you fear he might start something, with the way he looks at you and follows the arm trailing up your shoulder to Ralkan.

But recognizing the fight isn't one that he's sure he'll be able to win, Lev turns away from your overbearing knight to look down at you with the same smirk he'd given you earlier.

"Another time, little Salamander."

Lev leaves. He walks past the Salamander with not even a look, and just barely they manage to not slam pauldrons as he turns away. 

When he is safely out of earshot, Ralkan looks down at you; His expression is still stoic, but you can see the anger hidden beneath it.

“I told you to stay out of their sight,” He says, gripping your shoulder tight. You attempt lightly to pull away, his grip painful, but make little progress.

“I, I’m sorry Ralkan but I had to eat. Did you want me to just starve in there?”

His gaze softens ever so slightly, but you can still tell he’s more than a little bit angry. At you, and himself. Even if he wasn’t at all angry at you, his emotions weigh still on you like lead. He takes this whole protecting you duty that he has been given so incredibly seriously, you wonder how much worse it's going to get until someone else might have to protect you from him.

Ralkan takes a kneel, coming eye to eye with you. Both of his hands now cup the sides of your shoulders, and he looks at you like he's almost pleading at you.

“Now that he has his sights on you there’s nothing that’s going to stop him until he has you.” 

Despite his unnerving look, the blood on his face from a fight that put a Salamander on an apothecary table, he didn’t seem to be the way that Ralkan had described them. 

Maybe he's lying, maybe Lev is faking it.

“It wasn't like he was going to carve me up; By the Throne, Ralkan he saved me. There was more of them, but he chased them off.” Ralkan lightly shakes you.

“They enjoy toying with things like you. Don’t assume anything.”

You take in a deep breath, your face beginning to get hot with anger. You'd said earlier that this ship was more freeing than Terra, but not that's beginning to not be the case.

“He didn’t do anything, just-“ Ralkan’s brow knits in anger and he cuts you off, speaking angrier than you think you've ever heard him. Astartes voices are booming, and his hits you in the chest as he raises his voice.

“There are Salamanders already injured because of them. I asked you to stay here because I trusted you to heed my warning, if you won’t, then I can bring you to my own quarters and lock you inside.”

You look at him surprised at his anger, and your mouth clamps shut. You're angry at him for threatening such a thing, as much as your not surprised by it, but you can't fight him. Not realistically. You look away from him and try to swallow a knot in your throat at suddenly appeared.

Ralkan, realizing he’s upset you, softens his expression and sighs. His hands slide down from your shoulders to hold your hands in his massive gauntlets. The gesture doesn't go unseen, as you look down at them for a moment. The ceramite is cold and rough on your skin.

“I want you safe. It is my duty now yes, but,”

He hesitates for a moment, before removing one of his hands from your own and cupping the side of your face. You hate that the gesture melts away some of the anger you have welled inside of you.

“I would be beside myself if anything were to happen to you. I want you to be safe for your sake and my own.”

He leans closer. In your personal space, breath fanning across your skin, he closes the gap and presses his lips against yours. You don't move for a moment, before you gently exhale and lean closer to him. His nose presses against your cheek, and you can feel the small scars of his skin brush against yours. With him so close you realizes just how warm he is, astartes always run hot but it's like his blood is fire, your lips and face feel so warm. Though it could be your own flush, body heating up.

When he pulls away from you lips separating with a soft pop, you feel some of that stuffy heat dissipate, but the burn over your face remains.

“I must remove my armor first but, will you return to my quarters with me? I will tell you all about Nocturne. You can rest there as well, if you’d like.”

He’s trying to make it up to you, you can tell. He may not be directly apologizing, but he's trying to give you something he knows you want in an attempt to be sweet on you again. You hate how well it works. If only it didn't feel like he had you trapped in a cage, bars getting tighter and tighter.

With the warmth of his lips still on your own, you nod.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Ralkan smiles and rises to his feet. He gestures for you to walk beside him and takes your hand in his gauntlet once more, and you both leave your quarters for his own.

[n0nexist4nt]

Hey, I hope you're okay. I love your writing. Have a nice day, buddy!!

Anyway, if you need ideas, I have one. How about Billy Kid with a reader who has been separated from civilization for a long time, or since birth? Technology for the reader is something scary, because, “what the hell is this??". In my head it looks funny how Billy is genuinely interested in the reader (romantically or not, your choice) while the reader is just "WHAT ARE YOU AND WHERE I AM"

I’m doing fine :) Could say the same for your writing too.

HELL YEAAH fuckin great idea.

Secluded!Reader x Billy Kid HEADCANONS

This’ll contain both platonic shit and romantic shit

Cw: None?

Reader is Gender Neutral as the gender was not specified

You grew up without ever really interacting with anyone and without being involved in any form of civilization. Your parents wanted to “protect” you, so they secluded you from the rest of society.

When you finally were brought into the city, everything was almost overwhelming. You hardly even knew how to hold a conversation with someone-

But there was another thing you found terrifying. Any form of technology.

The more complex forms, such as robots, scared you even more. How could something nonliving be so… ALIVE???

The bangboos scared you enough. But when you first ran into Billy? You at first fucking ran for your life.

Billy was confused. But, as he saw you more and more, he found himself wanting to befriend you.

He tried SO. HARD. He was always confused when you started trembling like a lost and traumatized puppy, trying to make himself seem as nice as possible.

Eventually, you asked him, “..What the fuck even are you? How are you so??? Eeeeh???”

Billy probably found it funny. He tried to explain how robotics and different technologies worked. You just ended up confused-

Honestly, you didn’t trust Billy much at this time. Hell, you didn’t even trust most of the other civilians-

The way that he gained a large portion of your trust? Defending you against a monster that was about to murder you. You hadn’t even known it was behind you-

You were pretty shaken up after that, but hey, you trusted Billy after that.

Billy was pretty hesitant when it came to touching you since you were jumpy as hell around robots, but once you came around, he gave you more touches more often. (All platonic at the time)

If he started to crush on you? He’d probably be a bit more touchy and stick around with you more. He’d also get a liiiittle bit overprotective.

Any time you brought up your parents and how you were raised, Billy would honestly feel kind of bad. He’d also be pissed at your parents for keeping you this secluded, so uh.. keep him away from your parents? (Assuming they’re still alive, it’s up for interpretation ig)

Billy would probably buy you a phone and help you get used to it. Though, he’d laugh as you struggle since honestly, it’s funny watching you struggle with it like a 102 year old grandma.

If you two got together, you can expect a shit ton of rambling from this guy and a lot of cuddles. He’d still be a bit careful with you since he knows you didn’t grow up with technology, and he’d make sure to teach you some things here and there about either himself or tech shit in general

I snatched the idea and ran with it

Might have gotten slightly off topic

Idk

[ijwrsmff]

Okay tbh I just want obsessed buggy. Idk if you wanna do headcanons, a whole fic, or a short one off, but it would be greatly appreciated ❤️

Here you go hun!!! It's a full fic <3 It is 100% leading to more spicy times, but I kept it PG13 for this particular fic. Featuring Buggy before and after Impel Down in some ways, I left most major spoilers out but if you haven't made it to Impel Down here's the warning that there could be spoilers!

Reader stay gn, and I had a ton of fun writing this! I mixed a little bit from the Anime Buggy's personality with some of the LA's Buggy too! Fun fact a bestie of mine does not share fictional crushes. So we can to an agreement. They get anime Buggy and I get LA Buggy. It was a worthwhile compromise >:3

Word Count: 1,661 (PG13)

Things were odd since you joined Buggy’s crew, but you figured it was to be expected when it came to a crew who loved to perform everywhere like a circus. An illegal circus, but a circus nonetheless. The captain was the most “flashy” of all, but maybe that’s why you were so drawn to him. Despite having a rather negative reputation, seeing him care for each and every one of his crew members while trusting them implicitly made you yearn to join. He allowed you, but didn’t seem to be fond of you at first. You proved your abilities when it came to combat, and your history with performances. He was won over, but still didn’t seem happy to see you most times. 

You never believed he was an evil man, but each time you’d come near him, his face would turn red with a scowl on his face before huffing and walking away. Once he was captured, now a prisoner of Impel Down, everyone tried desperately to figure out a plan to break him out. The crew were all disasters, but the joy you felt when he had made his escape caused an immense eruption of cheers and cries. He found the crew within record time, and everyone ran up to him. He cried, but he’d never admit it to everyone. 

You in particular, let out tears of joy and leapt towards him to pull him into a hug. To your surprise, he embraced you back, and wrapped his arms around you tightly as if he didn’t want to let you go. It sparked something in you, and you pulled back to look up at your captain. He had…an expression you’d never seen on his face before. You didn’t want to assume anything, but he looked at you with adoration…though once you caught his gaze, it turned into a sheepish smile with traces of red coming through the white facepaint he had on. 

He never seemed to leave your side after that. It would make you laugh, but not to mock him. Moreso it was because you didn’t WANT him to leave your side. He accompanied you everywhere, from meals with the crew, to him showing you some of the treasures he’d found over the years that he hid in his room so no one else could have them. It made you feel special, seeing that he was letting you in on some secret he had in the few items he kept that he couldn’t seem to want to get rid of. Everything between the two of you seemed to change in the period between him escaping captivity and returning to the crew. It was different, but far from pleasant. 

Tonight, you were about to take your seat next to the captain for dinner, as you always did, and he stopped you by grabbing your wrist and shaking his head not to take that seat. It hurt for a portion of a second, but he saw this and instantly pulled you to him, sitting on his lap with his arms wrapped around your waist. The contact wasn’t expected, and you had a surprised gasp leave your lips, but you didn’t struggle against it. Instead, you leaned your back against his chest and got comfortable. He wasted no time resting his head on your shoulder, and started eating his meal. 

By the time you all had finished eating, Buggy nodded at everyone else in the dining room to leave, and you tried to get out of his lap to do the same. He wasn’t about to let you do that. He only held onto you tighter and he nuzzled his cheek against the side of your head. “You’re not going anywhere. Not without me at least. Hm…” He spoke, and sat in silence momentarily before he shook his head and pulled you against him further. 

“Hm? What do you mean Captain?” You let out a soft laugh, and rested your hands on top of his arm as he held you by your waist. It seemed like such a domestic moment, as you ran your fingers idly along his arm. It was cozy, and a welcome change. You’d wanted this contact from the captain for a long time, it was almost hard to believe this moment was really happening. 

Buggy huffed, but you could tell from his tone when he spoke that it was more of an amused noise than one of annoyance. “What do you mean, what do I mean? I think I’m being very obvious right now.” He chuckled softly, and his thumbs ran along your waist soothingly, and he sighed before continuing. “Come on, I need to show you something.” His tone sounded eager, and he didn’t even hesitate in standing up, moving you in his grasp until he was carrying you comfortably. 

You let out an amused laugh, “Captain I can walk, you know!” The moment had you blushing slightly, but you knew he loved it when you joked around and teased him. “Have you forgotten I can outrun you?” You wrapped one arm around his shoulder, and the other poked his cheek until he playfully nipped at your finger. 

“You can try.” He smirked at you, and it shut you up quickly. Seeing this, his smirk only grew and he looked ahead, taking you to his room. But really, with how often you were in there anyways, it might as well be your room too. 

“Are you gonna show me the treasure you got on our last trip? You haven’t shown me yet!” You grinned wide at him, relaxing in his grip. Then, once you’d reached the room he set you on your feet in front of a mirror. He made it a habit to show you each piece of treasure he didn’t want to get rid of for each trip, and you were the only one who got to see the collection of it all. It was something he trusted everyone on the crew with, but he never really showed them all of it. That was something between just the two of you. 

“Mm. I’m gonna show you the greatest treasure I have.” He spoke, softly, and he rubbed the back of the neck nervously. His face turned red and he cleared his throat, trying to get his semblance of confidence back. He didn’t want to back out now, it was go time. A deep sigh left his lips, and he directed his attention to the mirror, pointing at it. 

“Hm? Captain, I've seen this mirror a thousand times. What’s so special about it?” You tilted your head at him and turned to look at him. He stopped you, however, and he stood behind you, walking you both to the mirror with your back to him. His hand grabbed your chin softly and made you look directly into the mirror from in front of it. “Huh…?” You said, still confused. 

He scoffed, but placed an arm around your waist. Your eyes met his in the mirror, and you blushed seeing his face. It looked like he was equal parts cocky and flustered. Was he really saying…? Your thoughts froze when he made his move. 

His hand on your chin moved downwards, his hand lightly moving around your throat. From there, he tilted your head to the side and placed small kisses there. It made you gasp, but…he was being so cute about this. It made you giggle happily, but when you laughed he bit down slightly, nibbling at the skin. At your noise of surprise, his arm around your waist tightened, and he spoke softly. 

“This, every part of this, is my greatest treasure.” His hand moved from your neck to your collarbone, and his lips fanned over your ear as he whispered. The words came out hushed, and fragile like he was almost too nervous to say it. “You’re the greatest treasure I have. I can never get enough of you. Every time I go even a moment without seeing you, I want to run to wherever you are and prove that you’re mine.” He chuckled, almost as if to make fun of himself. “It’s pathetic, the amount of love I have for you.” 

Your eyes widened with shock, before your cheeks turned a bright shade of red. You moved your hand upwards, cradling the side of his face while he kissed your neck. “It’s okay, Captain. I feel the same. I actually kind of like how much time we spend together…even if we don’t see each other 24/7.” You laughed quietly, and gasped when his hand around your waist moved and lazily trailed his fingers over your stomach. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He chuckled, and lifted his head to turn yours to the side. The kiss he gave you was everything you’d ever hoped for, and he growled into it as he pulled you flush against him. Neither of you wanted to part the kiss, but he only pulled away enough to mutter his words against your lips. “If I had it my way, you’d never leave my side. Not metaphorically or literally. I can’t get enough of you. The way you walk when you’re confident, when you’re shy. How you giggle when I make dumb jokes, how you smile every time you see me.” 

He let out a laugh and turned you around to face him as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “I never want to be without you. I won’t let it happen.” He had a near deranged look in his eyes, but also traces of hesitation, as if he didn’t want to push you too far. “So…in our journeys, you’re not allowed to go anywhere without me. I practically ache when you’re not in my field of vision.” He laughed, and leaned forward to pull you into another kiss. 

“You’re mine, my treasure. I’ll love and protect you even if this whole world comes tumbling down.” 

[ihave-atummyache]

do u like chase atlantic?

Stray Kids Imagine

OT8

summary: chase atlantic x skz

NSFW!!! drugs, alcohol, sex, toxicity

trigger warnings: abuse of drugs a little bit, use of recreational drugs but not much emphasis on exactly what drug.

angsty, fluffy, toxic, some sweetness

6.8k words

(u don’t have to know the song to understand the story)

Bang Chan- OHMAMI

Call Maria, lets get drunk

I haven't been out for a month

Got a two-liter in the back and another bottle in the trunk

Columbian gold in the front seat

The foreign girls showing me love

Telling your friends that you hate me

But I know that you can't get enough

—

"Come on, Chris. You haven't went out with us in weeks! We're in America, for Christ's sake. We're destined to have a good time," Felix whines at the foot of Chan's bed. He glances up at Felix from his computer than back down. The use of the name “Chris” definitely catches his attention.

"If I go out, will you leave me alone all day tomorrow so I can get this done?" he raises his eyebrows at his younger friend who rolls his eyes in response.

"Yes… Well, probably not. But Scout's honor," he holds up three fingers before continuing, "I will try by best," he smiles and Chan can't help but to laugh.

"America is rubbing off on you. Fine. Let me get ready," Chan closes the laptop and Felix bounds out of the room, excited to tell Han and Hyunjin that he finally got Chan to come out.

What he wasn't expecting when he walked into the club, was seeing you. A familiar face but on a stranger. The same girl he had been practically obsessed with for the entire American leg of their last tour.

You were different though. Expensive jewelry hung from your neck and adorned your delicate wrists and fingers. What have you been doing since he last saw you? What had you been doing for the last year since you two parted ways.

He know it was no more than a hookup that he had gotten unreasonably close to but still, you had a hold on him that was unexplainable. He dragged you on the tour with them for the duration of the rest of the American portion then, he practically ghosted you.

"Y/n?" His voice fills your ears, his accent thick with every letter of your name. You snap your head towards him, your eyes locking with his. Before you can reply, however, a girl steps in front of him, drawing his attention from you for just long enough for you to slide off the bar stool and disappear into the dancing crowd.

"Why the fuck is he here?" You speak to yourself and an arm is slung over your shoulder, stopping you from taking anymore steps. You turn your head and meet eyes with the guy you came here with.

"Where are you going?" he questions, a slight slur in his voice. After seeing Chan, this guy suddenly seems far less appealing. He doesn’t have the sexy accent or the kind eyes. Hell, his body isn’t even half as godly as Chan’s.

"This asshole I haven't seen in a year just happened to be at this bar. I can't stand him. Just seeing him makes me wanna hurl," you grumble and run your hand through your hair before turning to your date.

"Wanna dance?" You question but before he can reply, someone has their hand wrapped around your wrist and is pulling you to the edge of the crowd. You look down and recognize the cuban link bracelet instantly. Chan.

You let him pull you until you're outside of the club then you finally snatch your wrist from his grip. You bring it up to your chest, rubbing slightly at the dull string.

"What the hell? I'm literally here on a date! What could you possibly want?" you exclaim and he takes a deep breath before turning to face you.

"Why did you run from me?" His voice is gentle, it almost has an undertone of guilt in it. Good. He should be guilty.

"Fuck you, Christopher. You fucked my head up. You fucked my heart up and you fucked me up. I'll never be the same because of you," you spit at him and take a step towards him, closing the space.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, please, shut the hell up. It's too late," you growl at him and turn towards the parking deck where your car is. Honestly, just him being here was enough to ruin your night and you wanted nothing more than to just go home.

"Y/n, wait. Baby, please. Can we just talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Chris. I hate you. I'm sure you know that by now. Seeing as the amount of my friends that you reached out to while trying to contact me," you reach your car quickly, luckily you parked on the first level.

Chan freezes when he sees your car. Ferrari? Since when have you been able to afford this? He approaches the other side of the car at the same time you unlock it and pulls the door open.

His eyes practically fall from his head when he sees what's sitting in the front seat of the car. Was that... drugs? Had you been selling drugs?

The expensive jewelry, the expensive car, the suspicious and sleazy looking man you were with.

"Are you a drug dealer? What the fuck?" His voice is much louder than it should be and you quickly get into the driver side of the car.

"Shut up, you idiot. You want to call the police and tell them about it too? Fuck off," you snap at him and reach across the car, pulling the door closed and locking them before pulling out the parking spot and leaving him in the vacant place.

Did he really fuck you up this bad?

Lee Know- Church

And I'll keep leading you on

If you keep leading me into your room

The drinks are all gone

But that's fine, baby, so am I

I'm about to take you back to church

Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah

Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts

'Cause I'm about to take you back to church

I'll keep you up until the sunset

Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet, yeah

"Y/n, you sound like an idiot. He's a dog. You're being just as naïve as all the other girls he has led on!" You friend exclaims and you turn away from her to glance down at your phone again.

minho: can I come over?

You let out a sigh. Maybe she's right. Maybe it was just because of the amount of wine you had been drinking but you suddenly found the confidence to just leave him on read.

"I just feel like I need him so bad. I can't explain it but... I don't know. Maybe I am an idiot," you trail off and drop back on the bed, the half empty bottle of wine tight in your grip.

"He's just no good. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine! He's toxic! He want you at his every beck and call and you always reply. Maybe if you just-" she gets cut off when your phone starts ringing loudly between the two of you.

You grab your phone from the bed and pull it up to your face before letting out a groan. You slide the phone and press answer, putting it on speaker phone.

"Come open the door," Minho's deep voice echoes out of the phone's speaker before you can say a word and you peak over at your best friend, who is just as confused as you.

"Minho I didn't say you could come over," you reply and he scoffs on the other side of the line, obviously annoyed with your lack of cooperation.

"Baby, I've been drinking. Just let me in so I don't have to drive drunk. I'll sober up and leave. I'm already here and my place is too far. Plus, I can't find a ride right now," You groan and sit up in the bed. When you throw your legs over the side and stand, you feel much more warm and fuzzy than you did when you were laying down.

"Lucky for you, it appears I'm a bit buzzed too," You grumble out and then hang up the phone.

"Don't seriously tell me you're letting that asshole in our house," your best friend complains from beside you and you let out a laugh at her face.

"Okay. This is the last time. I'm seriously done after this. I just need to get his magic mouth and fingers and co-"

"Okay! Stop. I don't need the visual right now. Just get to the point," your best friend cuts you off and you chuckle, walking towards the front door and she follows you.

"It's gonna be like goodbye sex. It's just so good..." you trail off and then exhale deeply before pulling your front door open. You hear your best friend mumble something along the lines of “all this to get your dick wet” behind you, but you don’t comment on her statement. Minho looks heavenly, leaning on the wall across from your apartment door and chewing on what looks like a straw from the bar.

"Hi," you breathe out and he pushes off the wall to walk towards you. You move to the side to let him in and he slings and arm over your shoulder before eyeing your best friend.

"Hey," the smug smirk on his face is enough to make you roll your eyes and she narrows her eyes at him. They aren't too fond of each other and both know it.

"Oh fuck off, Minho and fuck you," she spits at him and he chuckles. You start guiding him towards your room and he looks at your best friend again with that cocky smirk.

"The only one getting fucked tonight is y/n," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Minho!" You object before pushing him into your room and slamming the door behind you. He really is shitty and you know it but God, the things he can do with his body and the way he looks is just heavenly.

He walks to your bed before plopping down and laying back. You slowly approach the bed and he glances over at you.

"Sit on my face, princess. I've been thinking about your pussy on my tongue all night. I need your thighs on either side of my head while I drown in you," he says it so nonchalantly, letting out a sigh but you just stare at him for a moment before he glances back at you.

"Come on, baby. I know you want to leave me. Let me prove to you how I can worship this body like no other man will be able to. Let me make you want to stay," he's practically begging which is very uncharacteristic of him and you approach him slowly. He sits up when you reach him and reaches towards you, pulling your shorts down your legs.

He gently kisses up your thigh before planting two more on either one of your hip bones. He grips your hips, his thumbs rubbing over the same spot his lips just were. He begins to fall back again, pulling you with him until he has pulled you over his face.

"The only thing I want you to remember is my name. If that means making you cum over and over until the sun comes up, then that's what I'll do," his voice is low and he suddenly pulls you down, his warm mouth making contact with your pussy that he has been craving all night.

Changbin- Friends

And what the hell were we?

Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, no

But I'm not hurt, I'm tense....

"Binnie? are you home?" Your voice cracks over the phone and Chnagbin immediately sits up in the chair at your tone.

"I'm at the studio. What's going on? Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern and you feel more tears well up behind your eyes.

"Even closer. Is it okay if I come see you? Just for a little bit. I..." you trail off, taking a deep breath, "I have had a bad night and I just want to see you," your voice softens and he feels a small smile make its way to his face.

"Of course. I'll meet you in the lobby," he confirms and stands from his chair to make his way down to where he knows you're walking in. It'll be easier for him to guide you in personally since you don't have a visitor pass.

When the elevator dings, your head immediately snaps towards the sound. Changbin walks off the elevator, looking the epitome of relaxed and sexy. You gulp as you let your eyes drag down the shirt around his buff arms.

"Have you been crying?" His voice echos in your head as he closes the gap between you two. You reach up and gently touch your cheek. You find dry residue, obvious evidence of tears. When had you cried? You know you wanted to but you didn’t realize that you actually had.

"I guess I have been," you reply, your voice completely deflated and he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly. You don't have the energy to hug him back and instead let out a sigh, allowing your head to fall into his neck.

You close your eyes and take a deep inhale. His scent instantly invades your senses and relaxes you. You have been best friends for years and sometimes just being with him is enough to calm you.

"Come on," he wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator. The entire ride is silent. You were completely caught in your head by your own thoughts. You barely even notice when you're gently guided to sit on the couch. Changbin sits beside you and grabs your hands in your lap, making you turn to face him.

He closes the few inches in front of you and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into the familiarity of the kiss and let your hands squeeze his tighter.

"Y/n, what happened? You can tell me," he whispers, carefully choosing his words in case you start crying again.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" you ask suddenly and he immediately drops his eyebrows to a furrow, shaking his head.

"What are you…" he cuts himself off and you run your hand through your hair messily, letting out a low cuss under your breath as more angry tears spring to your eyes.

"I was on a date and this guy... fuck! And this guy tried to kiss me. I swerved it and he went off on me. Telling me about how he only asked me on a date for some ass. Claiming that I fucked his friend last week and- why are you looking at me like that?" You interrupt yourself when you notice how tense Changbin has become.

"You fucked someone else? You went on a date?" Changbin questions, suddenly becoming much more angry than he was before he said the words out loud.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?" He snatches his hands from yours and stands, walking towards his desk and leaning over it. He slams his fist down, making a few pencils drop to the ground and making you jump from your spot behind him.

"Binnie, are you-"

"Don't." He whips his body around to face you, pointing an accusatory finger at you, "Don't fucking call me that. What the fuck, y/n? We have been fucking each other for months. How many other people were you fucking?" His voice is suddenly loud and you're sure it would be echoing throughout the hallway if you weren't in the studio.

"Wait... Changbin. We're best friends. It isn't supposed to be exclusi-"

"Best friends.” he scoffs before continuing, “Maybe you are a slut. One cock isn't enough for you that you had to go let yourself be fucked by however many other people?" His words are laced with venom and you blink at him a few times before standing up and grabbing your bag.

"Fuck you, Changbin." You spit out before storming from the room.

Hyunjin- HEAVEN AND BACK

She's high

She lives in the sky

Tonight, she's satisfied

Rolling back her eyes

But then she starts to cry

Everything is turning to black

All in one night

She just went to heaven and back

"Fuck, Jinnie. Don't stop," you moan out, pushing your friend(?) and his heavenly tongue deeper between your legs. His tongue had been ravishing for what felt like hours but also felt so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. Although it felt like hours, it had only been a few minutes.

His licks a long stripe up your sopping cunt before kissing up your body and stops at your nipples, taking one into his mouth and using his fingers to play with the other.

"N-no more teasing. Just fuck me already. Please?" you whimper out and he chuckles pushing back onto his heels and lining himself up with your entrance. His slowly pushes in, causing you both to let out a groan at the feeling.

"Fuck, darling. You feel so fucking good wrapped around me," he groans out, his head falling back in pure pleasure and absolute ecstasy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slowly picks up the pace.

Suddenly, he bottoms out and you yelp, immediately beginning to shake at the feeling. It was borderline painful but you also felt so full and it’s felt so good.

"Yeah. You like that, don't you?" he asks again and you nod mindlessly, already feeling like you've reached the clouds. Hyunjin feels like he could die a happy man, completely content being balls deep in your perfect cunt, made just for him.

He drops to his elbows on either side of your head and you instinctively wrap your own arms around his neck. He grabs your chin and gently pulls your face towards him, making your eyes pop open. His eyes meet yours and then he suddenly stops, complete silence falling in the air.

"Are you high?" he suddenly asks and you blink at him a few time, opening your mouth to reply but he sits up, falling back onto his heels and pulling out of you. You shiver at the loss of warmth and sit up on your elbows to look at him.

"Hyunjin, it isn't-"

"Don't tell me it isn't what I think. I see you more fucked up than sober nowadays, fuck. Do you not see that you have a fucking problem? I ask you to be sober for one fucking night and you can't even do it. This is pitiful, y/n," his voice is full of anger and you don't even think he notices the way he's switching between languages, making your brain spin.

"Baby, pick a language. I can't follow what you're saying," you sit up and reach forward to cup his cheek but he pulls away from your touch, stands, and pulls his pants up his legs then his hoodie over his head.

You feel the tears immediately come to your eyes and start to pour down your cheeks. You don’t even really know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s because this moment between the two of you got ruined or maybe it’s because you can tell how pissed he is at you.

"Baby what are you-"

" 'Baby, this. Baby, that'. Just stop talking. Stop. Fucking. Talking," His voice raises and more tears pour from your eyes. You hurriedly grab the t shirt you were wearing from the floor, which happens to be his, and pull it over your head.

"I don't understand why you're so mad. This doesn't have anything to do with you! It doesn't effect you," your voice is slightly shaky but you finish the sentence nonetheless, making him scoff and run his hands down his face.

"Because I fucking love you. I love you more than anything and I want you to love yourself even half as much as I do," his voice is quieter again and you bring your face down to your hands as the tears keep pouring from your eyes.

"Why are you crying?" His voice breaks you from your quiet sobs and you look up. He's already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Are you leaving me?" you ask quietly and he sighs, looking at the door then back at you again.

"We aren't together. How could I leave someone I never had in the first place," he walks towards you and tilts your chin up. He uses his sleeves to wipe the tears from your soaked cheeks and you just look up at him, eyes bloodshot and dilated.

"I'm so disappointed in you, angel. I thought I meant more to you than your substances but it seems I can't compete," a sad smile covers his face and he exhales gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You quickly reach out and wrap your arms around his waist.

"You do, Jinnie. I'm okay. I promise. I can stop when I want," you swear to him but he doesn't reply. He grabs both of your arms from behind his back and pries you off of him before taking a few steps back.

"I'll wait for you, y/n. In the future, when you love yourself, come find me," he replies before turning and walking towards the door. You quickly throw yourself from the bed and chase after him.

"Hyunjin! Wait! I-I-" you're interrupted by your front door slamming shut in front of your face.

Han- Meddle About

Cause it's not just a figure of speech

You got me down on my knees

It's getting harder to breathe out

We only met each other just the other day

But you already got me feeling some type of way

Now if I could figure it out

I'd take you back to my house

So we could meddle about

Jisung's breath hitches in his throat when he sees you at the bar. His heart immediately starts pounding in his chest and he turns away, locking eyes with Chan next to him.

"That's her. She's right there at the bar, hyung. What do I do?" Jisung feels like his heart might actually leap out of his chest. Chan glances over at the bar but he can't figure out exactly who Jisung is talking about.

"Leather skirt. Mesh shirt," Jisung whispers to Chan, still not turning to look at you. Chan can't stop the chuckle from falling from his lips.

"You really are down bad. You looked at her for a total of 3 seconds and know exactly what she has on. Any other details you noticed?" he teases and nudges Jisung but he's too thrown off to realize Chan is joking.

"Red lipstick, red hair clip," he adds on and Chan's mouth drops open. He's never seen his friend so infatuated over a girl in all their years of knowing each other. What had you done to him?

"Would it freak you out if I said she's heading this way or would that be a good thing?" Chan leans over to whisper to his friend. Jisung's eyes grow wide but before he can reply, your honey voice rips through the music at the club.

"Hi, Jisung. It's good to see you," your voice went straight to his cock and he can't help remembering all the filthy things you had said to him the other night. The things you were whispering in his ear while he was balls deep in you.

"H-Hi. How are you?" He clears his throat and you giggle, sitting yourself down next to him as your friend sits on the other side of Chan, making a friend of her own to give you and Jisung a bit more privacy.

"I've been thinking about you," he suddenly blurts out and instantly regrets it when your perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise but the look is instantly replaced with a smug smirk.

He's so fucking cute.

"Oh? What have you been thinking about?" you inquire and wrap your lips around your straw. Jisung can't stop himself of looking. He remembers the way those same lips were wrapped around him. The way he was down your throat. The way your perfectly manicured hands were rubbing him in a way in which nobody had, not even himself.

He gulps deeply and glances at your eyes again. Your’s are already trained on his. His big, sparkly, chocolate, doe eyes had you in a chokehold like no other. You wanted nothing more than to bring him to tears again and he wanted nothing more than for you to bring him to tears again.

"Everything. You've invaded my mind," he suddenly confesses, a bit of a dazed look in his eyes. You let out a light chuckle as you lean over, placing your glass on the table. Jisung's eyes trail over your back and then he finally eyes your legs, stunning thighs and calves. He wants to worship you so badly, show you exactly how you should be treated.

"Oh really? Does it bother you that I've invaded your mind?" you ask, sweetly before resting your hand on his knee. You turn towards him and rest your other arm on the back of the couch, letting your head fall into your hand. You look almost bored, not entertained by Jisung in the slightest but you know that the slick in your panties was an indicator of just how much this boy had also invaded your mind.

He gulps again and adjusts in his seat. You let your hand fall from your head and reach forward, gently playing with the longer hair at the base of his skull.

"As pretty as you are, my Jisungie, I asked you a question," you speak up and let your hand gently trail up the back of his head until your fingers dig into his head and you tug on his hair, rough enough that it definitely hurt but not rough enough for anyone to notice.

"Do you like that I have invaded your mind, my pretty boy?" you ask again and scoot closer, placing a wet kiss to his throat. You pull away and the slight red residue from your lipstick makes you smile to yourself.

"Yes. I like it," he replies and you look up into his glazed over eyes again before releasing your grip slightly in his hair and your other hand makes it's way up his thigh more before brushing lightly against his bulge. His takes a sharp inhale of breath and you chuckle.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, mommy," his reply is instant and almost pathetic. Gosh, you want nothing more than to just have him on his knees for you again, begging to eat your pussy.

Felix- Consume

She said, "Careful, or you'll lose it"

But girl, I'm only human

And I know there's a blade where your heart is

And you know how to use it

And you can take my flesh if you want, girl

Felix knows she isn’t his. That doesn’t stop him from feeling green (GREENGREEN lol) with jealousy. Seeing you wrapped around someone else, your tongue down some strangers throat that he has never seen before.

“Lix, calm down,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds from behind him but Felix doesn’t even pay the man a glance.

“It’s not fair. She’s mine,” Felix groans out and Hyunjin pats him on the back before looking over to Minho with a ‘help me’ look in his eyes. Minho clears his throat before leaning towards the pair so they can hear him over the party’s music.

“If she’s your’s, then why are his hands all over her ass?” Minho’s voice is casual and Hyunjin swears he could have slapped him in that moment.

“You dumbass! That isn’t what he needs to hear!” Hyunjin practically yells but after at his older friend, though it’s all background noise to Felix. He stands abruptly and marches over to you. He puts his hands in the back of your jeans and pulls you away from the man who is standing dazed by your lips.

“Piss off, mate,” Felix’s voice is full of anger and jealousy and the man blinks at him once before scurrying away. You let your body lay back slightly, resting against Felix’s chest. His hand instinctively wraps around your waist and his hand splays possessively across ur stomach.

“Lixie. I’ve missed you,” as soon as your voice makes it’s way to his ears, he feels like he could melt into you. You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows that you know it and just lets you use him in whatever way you want.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he pulls you tighter against him, “Who the hell was that?” Felix’s deep voice rings through your ear and he places a gently kiss just below your ear.

“Mm. Forgot. I just wanted your attention,” you confess and push back against Felix, your ass bumping against his cock, begging to be in you.

“Well you have it. I should fuck you right here so you remember who you belong to, sweet girl,” he grumbles into your ear before sucking slightly on the same spot he had just kissed, leaving a hickey, marking his territory.

“Oh, my love, you know I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We’ve been over this,” you turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He tucks both of his hands in the back pockets of your jeans as you make eye contact.

You reach up and tuck his hair gently behind his ear before leaning in and pressing your lips against his, he immediately kisses you back and licks the seam of your lips, asking for entrance. You let his tongue into your mouth and he immediately pulls away.

He can taste a liquor on your breath that he knows for a fact you don’t like, then he remembers why he stormed over here in the first place.

“I can taste that fucker on your breath,” he growls out and you chuckle, only making him angrier.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to brush my teeth or are you just going to kiss me until all his taste is gone? It’s your choice,” you reply and twist his hair around your fingertips gently.

He probably looks pitiful right now to any onlookers. He probably looks like some guy who is completely whipped by a girl that doesn’t even want him and just had her tongue down some different guy’s throat. But honestly, Felix couldn’t care less.

He presses his lips against yours again and you kiss for a few minutes before you grab his hand and place it over your racing heart.

“If I give you a piece of this, will you be careful with it?” You ask, touching your forehead against his before pulling back and looking into his eyes again.

“Give me the whole thing and I promise I won’t lose it. I’ll be careful,” he swears, no trace of a smile on his face.

He wants nothing more than to have just a tiny corner of your heart since you were already taking up the entirety of his.

Seungmin- Tidal Wave

Passion drippin' off the wall, baby

Damn, you make it easy

And drop a little acid on our tongues, baby

We can make it freaky

Don't you think about turning the lights out

I want them to see this

And I say fuck the rules and let 'em find out

But that's just how I'm feelin'

“S-slow down (wink). I c-can’t stay quiet like this,” you whimper out but your boyfriend doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans forward, his chest pressed to your back and his cock impossibly deep in you.

You can’t stop the groan that leaves your mouth, a mix of pleasure and pain forcing the noise from you. He places a kiss on the back of your shoulder then sits up again. His hands gently rub down the arch of your back. The beauty that is you is truly out of this world and he can’t help but just look sometimes.

“Minnie, move,” your voice is whiny and Seungmin lets out a deep chuckle behind you.

“I thought you wanted me to slow down. Now you want me to speed up? Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” his voice is laced with a condescending tone and you clench around him. He suddenly pulls out completely and in one quick motion he flips you to your back and scoots down the bed, his head between your legs.

“What are you doing?” you question, your voice slightly shaky from the constant teasing.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to eat this pretty little pussy until you have no choice but to scream for me,” He raises his eyebrows at you as a blush radiated up your neck and to your face.

“But… they’ll hear. They’ll know,” you whisper shout at him. His band mates were scattered throughout the house. If you get quiet enough, you could hear them. From what you could tell, two of them seemed to be playing some kind of video game together and another was in the kitchen, listening to music and probably cleaning.

“Good. That’s fine with me,” he suddenly replies and plunges a finger into you. Your back arches off the bed and you bite down on your lip to stop the moan.

“B-but you said-”

“I changed my mind. After seeing the way they were looking at your ass in those pants today, I want to make it clear to them that you belong to me and nobody else,” he speaks up and glances down at where his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy before adding another finger.

His lingering gaze makes you nervous and you subconsciously close your thighs, trying to hide yourself from him. This quickly earns you a gentle slap to the inside of your thigh and a firm grip prying your legs back open.

“Why are you looking so much? Let’s turn the lights off. I’m getting shy,” you mumble out which causes a smug smile to break across your boyfriend’s face.

“Never. I love looking at this sweet cunt. All mine too, isn’t that right, baby?” he asks as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You groan and bite down on your lip again but Seungmin moves his hand from it’s spot on your thigh and pulls your lip from between your teeth. He pats your cheek, not enough to be considered a slap but definitely a warning.

“I asked you a question, pup. Don’t tell me my babydoll is already fucked out. I haven’t even made you scream yet,” he gives a fake pout and you groan again.

“All your’s baby. I’m all yours,” you ramble as he speeds his fingers up inside of you.

“Who do you belong to? Say my name.” He demands as he starts to curl his fingers inside of you. He leans forward and licks your clit, making you jump at the contact and he chuckles, the vibrations ricocheting throughout your body.

“Fuck, Seungmin,” you moan out and he slaps the outside of your thigh before kneading the flesh and pulling his mouth away slightly.

“Louder, princess,” he commands and dives back in. He feels you clench around him before suddenly you’re cumming all over his face and fingers.

“Seungmin! Fuck. Don’t stop. Feels so good!” You finally scream out as you grind your face against his tongue, riding out your high.

“Call me what you like to call me,” he demands, another shit eating, smug grin on his face. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you and starting to send you into overstimulation.

“Mmm, daddy! Please slow down! ‘S too much,” you slur your words together and a smirk covers his face as he kisses each of your thighs then climbs back up your body, slowly pulling his soaking wet fingers from inside of you.

“Now I’m going to fuck you and I want you to keep screaming my name just like that. I don’t even want them to think about ever looking at what’s mine again,” he bites down on the skin covering your collarbone, making you buck your hips against him.

“Do I make myself clear?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes and you nod. He raises his eyebrows at you, a warning, “Words, darling. Use your words,” he adds on and you clear your throat

“Yes, sir. Crystal clear,” you nod and her kisses you gently on the forehead before sinking back into you, your wet cunt pulling him with ease.

I.N- Right Here

It's happening again

Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends

I'm right here, here

Oh baby take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here, here

Hearing the door slams makes you jump at your spot on the couch. You weren't expecting your boyfriend today, but he's the only one who knows your code so it has to be him.

"Innie?" your voice echos. You hear him slip his shoes off before you see your boyfriend walk into the room you're in. His hair looks disheveled like he had been running his hands through it and his face looks wild.

"Innie? What's wrong? What happened?" You immediately snap your book closed and turn your body towards him. He runs his hands through his hair and that's when you notice the bruises on his hands and arms.

"Yang Jeongin. What happened to you?" You jolt up from your seat and walk towards him. You grab him by the elbow and pull him towards the kitchen, flipping the light on as you enter. You turn again and look over your boyfriend's hands.

"Have you been fighting?!" You exclaim and finally meet his eyes. They're unusually cold, the subtle shine when he usually looks at you no where in sight.

"I heard that jackass talking about you. Your ex," his words have a bite behind them and he clenches his jaw. He had seen your ex? He only knows of one ex, he would only recognize the face of one of your exes.

He's a more recent ex. You two only dated for about five months but he took well to the friend group so he has kind of stuck around since you broke up. You ended things amicably and besides it being awkward for a few hangouts with everyone, the two of you were able to put the relationship behind you and be around each other comfortably.

"What does he have to do with anything? Was it him? You fought him?" You start rattling off questions, studying his expressionless face.

"I did," his reply is curt and his eyes finally meet yours again. You have shock all over your face. This can't be happening.

"Jeongin! Your reputation, your career. You have things to worry about. Why would you even fight that guy?" your voice is shaky as you try to organize your thoughts and understand exactly what could have sent him over the edge.

"He was talking to that girl he's been dating. You should've heard him, y/n. God! I fucking hate that guy. If I ever get my hands on him again, I swear I'll k-"

"Stop!" You interrupt him and slap your hand over his mouth to stop his words, "What was he saying? I still don't understand, baby," you use the pet name in hopes that it'll help calm him down. His eyes soften slightly and you pull your hand from his mouth.

"He was talking about how uptight you are. And calling you a bitch and all kinds of names. Told her that you 'gave up your pussy for any man that had a black card'. As if his money isn’t all daddy’s money. That piece of shit hasn't worked for anything in his life," he slams the side of his fist against the wall.

He turns to you again and places his hands over your shoulders but you're staring into space. He said all that about you? Why would he say that? You thought the two of you ended on good terms so what's with the shit talk now?

"Listen to me, babe. You don't need them. You only need me. You always catch them hanging out without you and talking shit. Fuck them. Just me and you. Is that okay? Does that sound good?" His voice is almost pleading and you meet his eyes again. You feel hurt about what he's telling you but at the same time...are you surprised?

"Okay," your voice is barely more than a whisper and Jeongin places his finger under your chin, tilting your head to face him.

"Okay," he replies and places his forehead against your's. You let out a shaky breath then he places both hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

Jeongin can’t help the feeling of satisfaction in finally having you completely to himself. He doesn’t care if the mentality is toxic but he wants to be all that you ever need. He wants to be everything to you without anyone else standing in the way.

imma start putting a lil author’s note at the end tee hee. i just wanna say that possessive felix>>>. mega fuckin heart eyes bruv. also seungmin is soo pull out, eat it, put it back in and i cant explain why. source: just trust me.

[mariposa-writes]

The Assistant - Travis Kelce Pt. 5

Kelce x Reader

Word Count: ehh, not sure

Summary: ...

You've been staying with Travis for a week and a half. You weren't originally planning on staying this long, but Travis got you to agree to staying just 3 days and then he upped it to a week and now you've agreed to stay with him until you can start walking again.

You've still been working as his assistant, but only doing around 1/3 of your original duties. Even though Travis lived in a huge house, you were starting to get tired of being pent up.

You were used to constantly being busy, whether you were doing something for Travis or something for yourself. You weren't used to having this much free time and it was starting to get to you.

Maria walked into the living room, "Do you need anything sweetie? I'm going to start cleaning upstairs."

"No, I'm okay. Thank you Maria." Maria was Travis's maid and the one of the sweetest ladies on earth. Travis asked Maria to stay with you full time when he was at practice, since he wasn't comfortable leaving you alone.

She was constantly checking in on you making sure you didn't need anything.

You threw the book you were reading onto the couch, not even bothering to mark where you left off. It's not like you were far, considering you couldn't make it past the 4th page.

This was the 5th book you had read since staying at Travis's and although you were a fan of reading you couldn't find it in yourself to read anything today. You tried watching a show earlier, but even that was boring. So was tik tok and every other social media app.

You'd finished a puzzle Travis had in his house, realizing you were not a fan of puzzles.

You felt stupid for being bored in a house with endless things to do, but you just weren't used to being so still, you were a busy body.

Travis was due to be home in an hour and then Maria would be going home, you liked when Travis was here. He was pretty fun to hang out with and he would tell you about his practice and different things he would learn about his teammates.

But today you were kinda dreading talking to him. You had been waiting for your bill from the hospital to come, but it still hand't. You were having your neighbor check for you and she hadn't seen anything in your mail, from the hospital.

You decided to call up there today, only to find out that it had already been paid for. You knew there was only one person who would've and could've been able to pay for it.

Travis had already agreed to cover some of it, but you didn't want him paying for all of it.

---

Maria left as soon as Travis got home. You were waiting in the living room when he came into the house. "Hey, how was your day?" He asked, dropping his bag on the floor.

"Fine, how was yours?"

"Good, exhausting." He sat down on the opposite end of the couch you were currently sitting on.

"Travis, I have to ask you something?" His eyebrows furrowed and he turned to face you.

"Ok..."

You sighed, "Did you pay for my surgery? I called KU medical center and they said it was already taken care of."

He bit the inside of his lip, "Yea, I covered it."

"I thought we agreed that you were only covering the portion I couldn't. I didn't need you to pay for the whole thing." You were frustrated, that he went behind your back.

"I didn't think it'd be a big deal. I have the money, so I figured I'd help you out." Travis didn't see anything wrong with what he'd done. He was only trying to help you out and make your life a little easier.

You grabbed the check out of your pocket and handed it to him. "Here, I'm paying you back." He got up from the couch and dropped the check in your lap.

"I don't want it." He simply stated, before entering the kitchen. You got up to follow him. Just as you were about to speak he cut you off, "Want anything to eat? I was gonna make some pasta."

"Travis." You frowned, leaning on your crutch.

"Y/n" He frowned, mimicking you but not for long because he broke out into a laugh. "I'm sorry," He said bending over and holding his stomach as he laughed, "I just can't take you seriously over this."

You didn't bother answer, opting to glare at him instead.

After he calmed down he saw you were still pissed. He sighed, getting serious again. "Please, let me pay for this. It's my way of saying thanks, for everything you do. You're a huge help to me and I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

"Travis, this is a lot of money. I just don't feel comfortable with you spending that much on me. Not to mention everything else you've done for me. Like you literally have given up your room for me." You weren't used to people being so generous and you didn't know what to think.

"If it helps its like pocket change to me." He joked, before heading back over to the walk in pantry. He came out a few seconds later, with a box of pasta in his hand.

"Doesn't help." You quipped, getting onto the stool as the kitchen island.

This was becoming a regular routine, you keeping him company while he cooked dinner. It was nice, you enjoyed it more than you cared to admit.

Plus Travis was a surprisingly good cook. "I don't know how I've been living without your food for this long." You said after swallowing a bite of his pasta. "You should go to jail for depriving me of your cooking skills."

He smirked, happy that you liked his food. After you guys were done eating Travis cleared the table, while you picked out a movie to watch.

He plopped down on the opposite end of the couch, "What are we watching"

"Den of thieves, I heard it's good. It has ice cube's son in it I think." You pressed play and pulled the blanket Travis had on his couch over you.

Travis enjoyed the movie and turned to you when the credits started to roll. "Good pic-" He stopped when he realized you were already asleep.

A small smile graced his lips, at the sight of you curled up on his couch.

He gently called your name, trying to gauge if you were truly asleep or just 'resting your eyes'. This wasn't the first time you'd fallen asleep during a movie and each time you always insisted that you were 'just resting your eyes'.

When you didn't respond, he realized you were clonked out. He debated over what to do. Should he wake you up? Leave you on the couch? At least it was a comfy couch.

He opted for carrying you to your room, hopefully without waking you. He carefully gathered you in his arms, and while you did stir a bit you never fully woke up.

He was half way to your room, when you nuzzled your face into his chest. His heart stopped as he looked down, to realize you were still sleeping.

Your hand was clutching his shirt, as he carried you the rest of the way. He gently set you down in his bed, on top of the covers. He went to his closet and grabbed a blanket, placing it over you.

He quietly left his room, turning off the lights and shutting the door careful not to wake you.

The Assistant tag list: @talicat713 @livinginmyfantasies @amylouwho9 @burrowingkelce @kkrenae

Let me know if you want to get added to the tag list.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Six

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: AHHH I am honest to god obsessed with this part, been excited for it since the idea came to mind and I also love surprises so, take that as you will... Hope you enjoy! Thank you sm for all the love on this series too, means a whole lot!!

Warnings: again lil bit of self-consciousness, mentions of scarring, heights!

Masterlist

"Mind if I join you?"

I swivelled around on my heel to peer over my shoulder at the sound of the unexpected oncommer.

It was a surprise to find Healy there. Striding across the expanse of roof with an effortless elegance, as though he knew how much he was worth, like he didn’t care who was watching. I sort of envied that.

I opted for feigning nonchalance and simply shrugged in reply, jutting out my chin before forcing my gaze to return to the skyline.

Healy fiddled with something in my peripheral though and the ruffle of cellophane separated the sound of the city below from my smoky exhale.

"You got a lighter?"

It was a needless ask, Heally could already see that I had a cigarette lit in hand but that didn't seem to defer him. It felt as though he was actualing aiming to start up some kind of conversation, which was strange considering how standoffish he’d been during most of his visit.

I spared him another short glance as I went to dig my free hand into my back pocket, noting that his sunglasses were still wired into his curls which meant that I could actually see the way he was watching me now.

When he’d first walked over, Healy had stopped a comfortable distance away, but he closed it when I lifted the lighter up in success. The makeshift patio creaking beneath his weight.

He had his own cigarette dangling loosely from his lower lip, the butt stuck to the inside of the soft flesh as he invaded my space, indicating that he had no intention of taking the lighter from me. I couldn't quite help the way my gaze flitted down to his mouth and then up into his valourous eyes when he did, their colour darker now that his hair had fallen from behind his ear to shield a portion of his face from the sun's shining light.

I looked away almost as soon as Healy met my curious stare and swallowed sparsely before proceeding to flick the sparkwheel. It took two tries before it caught.

The warmth of the iridescent flame tickled my cheek as I held it up, and Healy cupped a hand between both our faces in an attempt to waylay the whistling wind as I moved in to light the cigarette's end.

The lighter was a tacky thing, cheap, and coloured an illuminous orange. I never usually thought much of it, tended to nick them right off of Finn's kitchen counter, or from strangers in the street whenever I needed a light. 

But being this close to Healy, I could literally smell just how expensive the man's aftershave was, how it clung to the gentle curve of his neck. It reminded me of how different we were. Healy was obviously more inclined to the finer things in life- probably even had someone hired to light the poxy things for him.

I was quick to bite back the snort that bubbled within me at the sudden picture that painted, shaking my head as I dropped the lighter down to my side. Though I still wore a small smile when my gaze trailed back over to meet his, almost involuntarily now. And this time I couldn't bring myself to look away just yet.

Healy’s lips twisted into a rueful smirk once he’d inhaled a lungful, unblinking as he observed me once more, and I had to force my body to take a step back when I noted that neither of us had yet to move.

I cleared my throat and raised my hand again, but Healy’s smirk only grew.

"Meant to be quitting, you know." I quipped like many liars before me, hoping to ebb some of the remaining tension that had adhered itself to the air around us as I sucked some life back into my fag's dying flame.

Healy humoured me. 

"How boring."

I huffed a breathy chuckle, a grey trail stuttering out with it.

"I know it's what everyone says, but for me it's true. Been trying to kick the habit ever since I started, to be honest."

I peered back over at him long enough to witness the way he directed an arched brow my way, smoke pooling from his mouth. It was second nature the way he did it, so casual, as though smoking was akin to breathing.

"Why haven't you then?"

The question caught me a little off guard. But only in the way that it was a first for him, at least from how I saw it, to pry into another's life. My life, my brain supplied unhelpfully. A big-shot singer like him to be prolonging our encounter more than necessary, surprised me even more.

Nonplussed, I found myself replying, "Life?"

He snorted pleasantly, "Cheers to that."

I watched on as he hoiked up his hand in a false toast before dropping it weightlessly to his side, dislodging the ash that perched at the end of the cigarette when his hand bounced off his hip.

Mimicking the showy gesture, I dipped my head before I chose to take another long drag, mostly to occupy the silence that enveloped us again more than anything else.

It was then that my mind began to wander. But before I could overthink this entire situation- because, let’s just be honest, I would’ve have to have been fucking barking not to have found this whole ordeal anything other than strange- my head snapped up at a scuffling sound and my eyes instantly tracked the way Healy had all but pounced his way up onto the roof’s ledge.

"You aiming to off yourself, or you simply tempting fate?" I blurted out before I could think better of it, unable to look away. He truly had my full focus now.

He grinned and my jaw ticked as Healy's snazzy boots kicked carelessly at the brickwork that lined the edge of the studio’s building, his soles walking a fine line, prancing along like the three story drop wasn't that much of a threat.

"Fate's far too busy to be fretting with the likes of me, love." He retorted, one hand buried in the jacket he adorned, the other holding his cigarette to his mouth. He paused about a foot away from me and leant forward to peer over the side, causing my poor heart to falter and just about fall out of my arse.

"The hell are you doing!" I snapped, immediately jumping forward to grab at his sleeve before he could tip any further. "You got a fucking death wish, or something?"

Healy only cackled as he rocked back into my tight grip, grinning so widely now. My breath stuttered at the very sound of it, amused but tinged with an edge of mania. And the lazy smile he shot me from over his shoulder after didn’t at all help the way my pulse was now thumping wildly through my veins, the parent in me having sent every nerve-ending into overdrive.

"Or something." He answered, a wily expression dawning.

He did jump down though and once his feet were firmly planted back on the decking, I shoved at his shoulder. "You're a right prick, you know that?"

"Awh, come on. Live a little, Squeaks!"

I shot him a lurid glare, far from amused by the mocking tone he’d taken on or the way he’d poked fun at my name.

"Honestly, what have you got to lose?" Healy went on to say, not paying my reaction any mind at all. I ignored his efforts, but couldn't stop my eyes from following after him when he recklessly returned to the edge, only this time he decidedly took a seat there. "Come on!"

He gestured for me to join him with a jerk of his head and I merely blinked. Stressing over whether or not he was being serious.

Healy’s buoyant grin was fast fading now though, but I wasn’t really too focused on that fact, all I could see as he glanced back at me was how lost he suddenly seemed behind all that bravado. It was hard to notice in truth, but I could see it there, ever so slight, in the hazing shadows casted behind his eyes.

"What, you just gonna leave me here on my lonesome?" He goaded once he'd deemed that I’d had more than enough time to respond, wiggling his brows from across the patio.

I was forced to blink away my tangent of thoughts then as I inhaled a deep breath. 

After hesitating for the briefest of seconds, gaze flitting from Healy’s slumped form to the fire escape and then back again, I was sure that I saw his shoulders visibly tense. He’d noticed my uncertainty and had immediately raised those shackles back up, preparing to be let down again.

And for some reason, I found that I didn’t want that. So catching the inside of my cheek between my molars, I finally tossed the butt of my cigarette to one side and ambled over. 

Healy smirked, all too pleased with himself as I nervously settled in beside him, leaving only a few centimetres space to separate us.

Not wanting to chance anything, I kept my hands plastered to the wall’s ledge, fingertips digging into the rough brick as I leant forward the tiniest little bit to scrutinise the time it would take my body to ultimately hit the asphalt below, if I so happened to fall. 

I knew it was unlikely, but still pressed my lips firmly together, knowing it would likely be entirely Healy’s fault if something were to actually occur. 

After a minute or so my heart calmed and I started to observe the way our legs dangled over the edge, side by side, swinging aimlessly above the narrow street way down below. The toes of Healy’s boots only just skimmed the jut of my ankle whenever his heels would hammer against the building’s hard exterior, close but never touching. I counted the beats.

There was a long few minutes of silence that passed between us sitting there, before Healy finally broke it, kicking the remnants of his fag far away and watching as it blurred from view.

"You come up here often then?"

A laugh broke free from me at that and I looked over. 

"That a line?" I teased, unable to help myself nor the smirk that had worked its way onto my lips, whilst Healy’s eyes widened involuntarily, clearly not having expected the cheek from me. I decided to leave the ribbing there though, not wanting to push my luck, and smiled softly at him, deciding to give him an honest answer. "But I don't know, really. It depends."

"On what?" 

"On whether or not I've got shit to do."

He hummed, fingers tapping at his knee. "Important shit?"

I couldn't quite stifle my laughter, "Yeah, important shit. Not all of us can live a lavish life up in Beverly Hills."

Healy pursed his lips at that, "Makes two of us then, fucking hate The Hills."

Surprised, my eyebrows shot up.

"Really?"

"Yes, really! It's a right shit show- the whole of fucking California is." Matty scoffed, almost stubbornly whilst shaking his head. I could see how much he meant his words though, even if they did somewhat confuse me.

"Least it's sunny though, right?"

Healy barked out a short laugh, turning his head towards me to meet my gaze head on. From this angle, I could see just how much brighter his eyes grew when he smiled, and wondered if he even realised. If anyone had told him.

"Least it's sunny." He mimicked, sounding all too amused.

I tore my eyes away. "What's so bad about California then, bigshot?"

The volume of Healy's snort actually surprised me but mercifully, I managed to hide the way I flinched before I turned my head back to face him. 

"You could ask me anything, anything in the world, but that's what you settle on?"

My mouth drew itself into a pout as I furrowed my brow and shrugged. A little put out. "Always wanted to visit the National Park?"

"Oo, got a proper little adventurer on our hands, have we? California! Home of Venice Beach, Hollywood, and the planet's fittest stars- but all you wanna do is have a quick peek around at a mound of mouldy trees and old mountains?"

Tutting at his jeering, I rolled my eyes and hummed, "I mean, it looks sort of sick, don't it?"

"Sure. If you're going on eighty."

"Fuck off." I chuckled and knocked into Healy’s shoulder, throwing him off balance slightly.

"Oi, don't think I won't push you off this roof!" He warned and a giant grin threatened to overwhelm my face.

"Do it. I'll be sure to take you with me." 

"That a threat?"

"It's a promise." I smirked.

"Oh, I don't much like those, Squeaks. You'll have to think of something better." Said Healy, tearing those eyes of his away upon noticing then just how close we'd gotten during the short span we'd spent taunting one another. 

I licked my lower lip and watched him for a moment. "What's wrong with a promise?"

"What isn't?" Healy’s eyes looked vacant as they stared hard at the skyscrapers that littered the view. "They’re simply made to be broken, aren't they?" He shrugged, his blank facade quickly returning, that glaze in his eyes fading. "Anyway, why would I take your word upon only hearing you promise? Promises aren't truth, they aren't law. They're simply empty."

There was a long pause before, "Christ, who hurt you?"

My eyes widened upon hearing my own stupid insincerity, always putting my foot in it, and was hasty in the way I immediately opened my ginormous gob to apologise, but Healy’s soft laughter stopped me short.

"Now that's a question, Mouse."

I couldn't really bring myself to reply after hearing the sadness that fuelled his words. Didn't know if I even could. But I couldn't stop my lips from quietly mouthing my own name either, sure that it had been the first time Matty had ever used it.

--

The studio felt much quieter now without Jamie’s amiable laughter or Healy's all-consuming presence to fill the space. I found myself simply standing in the centre of the room long after they’d departed, half way between the booth and the settee, wondering what to do next. 

I didn't have to pick Teddy up from the nursery for another half hour and the journey there would only take me five minutes or so. That meant that I was now somewhat at a standstill and those were rather rare when you had a toddler hanging about. 

It had just started lashing it down outside. I could hear the heavy raindrops as they splattered their way across the windowpanes and formed a shallow pond on the skylight a few feet above my head. 

It had only started spitting just as Matty and I had re-emerged from our little breakaway. My unfiltered mouth had been the beginning of an untimely end as I hadn't been able to sit there and stomach the silence much longer, having mentally scolded myself enough. 

So I'd talked Matty off the ledge (literally) and hummed softly to myself as we’d descended the stairs in a desperate attempt to break up the awkward tension that drenched me. Adi and Jamie had been waiting up for us by the window when we'd returned and Healy's manager had been in a hurry to whisk him away, grinning happily as he said his goodbyes, a mobile pressed to his ear whilst he coerced Healy down the stairs. He went without much bother.

"That went well, I reckon!" Came Adi's voice as she exited the kitchenette, holding another round of tea in her hands and a plate of bourbons too. 

She settled herself down onto the sofa and motioned for me to come join her, clicking her tongue whilst her many rings clattered against her ceramic mug. The same one she often favoured.

"Come on, sit down! I want to know the ins and outs of everything you two talked about up there! Twitter's been going positively mad ever since the show went live!"

I sighed but followed the order, taking up a perch on the edge of the settee beside her, enjoying the warmth that blanketed my hands upon being handed my own brew. The heat of it tingling my fingertips.

"It turned out okay then? No one’s started up a riot, or threatened to have my life, have they?"

Adi rolled her eyes good-naturedly in reply, laughing at my melodramatics. "Nah, you're all good, babe. Think a few of 'em actually liked you. Fancy that, hey?" 

She winked at me from over the rim of her mug but I merely hummed in return, knowing that Ads didn't miss the underlying scepticism that accompanied it.

"I'm serious, M! Apparently it's been a while since Matty's acted so genuine! Hang on, reckon that’s the right word for it?" She shrugged, answering her own question, and then barrelled on, "Either way, they're already petitioning for us to have him on again. Here just look, I'll show you."

I watched on as Adi tried to balance her scalding hot tea on the knob of her knee whilst she fumbled for her phone. I stilled it just in time before it could start tilting and she grinned up at me in thanks, now brandishing a bright screen. "Aha! Here you are. See there, babe? They adore you!"

With a scrunch of my nose, I leant in closer to peer down at the illuminated text, watching as a stream of tweets continued to flood Adi’s neverending feed. I placed my mug down onto the coffee table not long after and stole the phone from out of the girl's grasp.

M @/user1 15s Lovedlovedloved today's show!! #MouseOnAMic 

13 @/user2 23s The smiles?! How cute, he looked like he really enjoyed the interview!

Pol @/user3 29s Missed seeing Adi’s lovely face:(( But I honestly think this was one of the show's best releases!!!

Robber @/user4 37s AHHH what was that?? 

Bean @/user5 46s Um imma need a minute bc I don't think I've heard Matty talk that much in a while

197die @/user6 51s Why are they so adorable?? My heart!!

AM @/user7 1m Please bring Matty back!! @/petitesouris @/AdelineWells_

"Shit."

Adi cackled whilst I chucked her back her phone, surprised by what I’d read.

"Told you, babe! They seem to love the two of you together."

"Why are they spouting all that crap?"

Adi shrugged, exiting the app with a swipe of her thumb before switching the whole thing off. "Just the internet, ain’t it? Besides... they're not really wrong."

She laughed loudly at whatever expression must have crossed my face then and I huffed to myself, picking up my mug and shuffling over to settle further into the cushions.

"He's so painfully male though, Adi. I mean, you must've seen all the models he hangs about with."

Adi’s eyes lit up at that, looking as though I’d just mentioned that Greggs was currently handing out free sausage rolls on the nearest street corner, I raised a brow.

"Oh, I have, babe. Just didn't realise that you've been keeping tabs on him too!"

Helplessly I spluttered, almost spilling my tea in my rush to sit up. Ads tittered away, so obviously entertained by my reaction.

"I have not!"

Adi hummed sceptically, mug cradled close to her chest now, "Sure, hun, and the sun doesn’t shine out of my arse."

I flicked her arm, "I'm being honest with you- I just had to get a little background information on him for the interview! That's all."

With a slow nod and a shitty attempt to dampen her ever growing grin, Adi replied, "What, so you don't think he's fit then?"

My eyes widened and lips parted at her question. 

I couldn’t outright deny that Healy was nice to look at- he fit a certain esthetic, alright? But I also did not want Adi teasing me anymore than she already had. Especially after seeing what all of Matty’s fans had to say about the pair of us online. Was it too late to switch careers?

Besides, it was just a passing fancy sort of thing, and Healy obviously didn’t view me in the same light. That, and I had Teddy to worry about. If anything this was just a fleeting thing, I could admit that at the very least.

"He's-"

"Fit as fuck? Hotter than a rubber ring on a summer's day? Mysterious enough to lure just about any one in?" Adi interrupted, filling in the blanks. 

I blinked at her before snorting a laugh, my breath fanning the steam that slipped from my tea.

"I was going to say nice."

"Nice? Nice! Mouse, that boy is not 'nice'! Far from it! Broody and bloody stubborn, those I can get behind! But nice? No. Nice looking, sure- maybe if you were an eighty year old woman complimenting her grandson on his birthday. But not nice."

"That's the second time today I've been compared to an OAP." I acknowledged, frowning at what it might mean.

Adi's eyes snapped over to meet mine, earnest and impenetrable. "I'm bein’ serious here, Mouse."

I rolled my eyes.

She groaned loudly in return. "Come on, just admit it! He's a right looker."

I hung my head against the back of the settee, emitting a heavy sigh as I stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah, alright, he’s fit.”

"I knew it! You so fancy him!"

My head snapped towards her at that and I narrowed my eyes, “I didn’t say that.”

"Didn't need to." Adi beamed all too happily, pulling a knee up to her chest, eyes gleaming. "It's called reading in between the lines, babe!"

"Ads, how- you know what, forget it. I'm not even going to begin to tell you how stupid you just sounded."

Adi harrumphed and waved off my efforts to preserve some of my dignity. "So, what are you going to do about it then? Cross your heart and hope he's down to fuck you sideways?"

I truly couldn’t help the way I grimly spat my tea back into my mug whilst I started to shake with a startled laughter. Adi, the cow, had to pull what was left of my drink away just so that I could wipe at my chin, laughing all the while.

"You're such a twat, you know that?"

Adi only grinned at me from the other end of the sofa and shrugged. "You love me for it." 

I couldn't deny that, grinning right back at her. "That I do, my love. Fancy keeping me company whilst I pick up Teddy then?"

--

Another week dragged by and my days had been nothing short of chaotic, filled with stress, tears, and toddler tantrums. 

Teddy had fallen ill on the Wednesday, all snotty nosed and high temperature. I’d had to take the day off work just to pull him out of nursery early when the school had called, leaving Adi to fend for herself for a long while. The little tike had refused to eat or drink the entire time he'd spent recuperating in my bed, and I’d been forced into bargaining with him to simply get him to take his medicine. Who claimed too much tele was bad for you anyway?

Teddy's temperature spiked on Thursday night though and I had struggled to hold back sobs of my own whilst on the phone to my mam, listening to my son shriek and cry in the background as she tried to instruct me on what to do. 

But thankfully, things had finally started looking up for us on the Friday afternoon. Teddy had asked for some toast that morning and, although I had been fearful (the sight of sick having been something I’d been forced to get over this past week), the boy had managed to keep it down. And we'd spent that evening together on the sofa, swaddled in a sea of blankets, singing quietly along to The Lion King.

Saturday and Sunday had been a whirlwind. I had spent so much time cooped up in the flat with Teddy that Finn came round Saturday morning to all but shove us out the front door. Ever the angel though, he'd treated us to a greasy fry up down at the local cafe and had even taken Teddy off of my hands for a couple of hours when Adi had texted to ask if I'd be around later on to help out with Monday's show. 

Sunday was spent keeping an eye on my rowdy four year old, who had all but bounced back to the image of perfect health- as though the previous few days had been nothing but a bad dream. Humoring Adi and I whilst we’d conjured up new ideas at the studio.

Healy’s management team had emailed about mid week, sharing some statistics and thanking the show for our ‘aid’, but it had all sounded far too condescending for my liking. Then again, most emails tended too and my mood had also been depleting rapidly ever since the segment had aired. So there was that. Adi did get a few minutes spare to email something back for me though, which I appreciated. 

Jamie had also taken the time to message too, which had brought a shocked smile to my face. I’d figured that the man must have picked up my number from Adi whilst he'd been visiting, or from someone else on his team. But I’d texted back, wishing him well, not wanting to be impolite.

But the thing is, Jamie hadn’t left it there. Which had been a somewhat welcomed surprise. Throughout the week he'd taken to messaging here and there, asking about the show, my day, taking the time to fill me in on all the good and bad parts of his own. His job seemed more than fucking stressful, but I should've guessed that much, what with him having the pleasure of having to keep up with Healy all day. I'd wondered on more than one occasion how that dynamic typically played out, but never asked.

It was around four on Monday afternoon when I found myself leaving the loft, finally having caught up on most of the crap I’d missed the last week.

Adi had long since departed, having had a commitment to get to. Something to do with helping a mate find the perfect dress for her big day, which was fast approaching, and had abandoned me the first chance she'd got, leaving me to wrap and lock up all on my lonesome.

Teddy was also off with Finn after school today, as he was most afternoons when we had to film for the show. So I’d planned to pick up a takeaway to surprise the two of them with on my way over, then stick around long enough to pester my best mate before he finally grew sick of Teddy and I and sent us on our merry way.

I was just locking up, humming a soft tune that had been stuck in my head all day, when I heard a scuffle sound around the corner. I only looked up once I'd tugged on the handle hard enough to make sure all was well, but was startled to find a familiar face staring back at me.

"Shit. You proper scared me!" I breathed out heavily, a hand coming up to rest over my beating heart whilst my eyes wandered over Matty’s hunched form.

The singer was clad in the same heavy jacket he'd been wearing the last time we'd met, an oversized hoodie and jeans too, as well as a pair of dark sunnies which blended effortlessly into a black beanie that hid his hair from view. 

"What are you doing here?" I questioned and could hear the shock that lined my voice as I stepped out onto the pavement to join the singer, who had since propped himself up against the side of my building.

"Was in the area." Was all Matty gave away, but he kicked off of the wall to shove his hands into his trouser pockets when I approached.

"You were in the area and just so happened to end up here?" I asked, bemused. My eyes glanced up and down the narrow backstreet to see if anyone else was mulling about long enough to recognise ‘the singer from that one band’ before they retreated back to him.

Healy tilted his head to one side, "That alright?"

He looked far too nonchalant, as though he had a tendency to drop in at every radio station he'd wound up commandeering over the years, making me feel stupid for not having expected it.

I had to force out a little laugh, unsure on how to reply exactly. "Yeah- I mean, sure. Just, I don't know, I didn't expect to ever see you again."

Healy's mouth quirked ever so slightly to one side at that but he hid it in the way he cocked his chin towards the highstreet a way ahead. "Where you off to?"

"Um," I swallowed, pausing for a moment to tug at my jacket sleeve so that I could take a quick look at my watch. "Well, I've got about an hour before I've got to be somewhere, but nowhere right this minute."

Maybe I was being presumptuous. Bold even. But why else would he be here? 

I lifted my head back up and found Healy already watching me, and if the man had noticed the scars that marred my wrist he didn't say anything, simply nodded.

"Got time to grab a coffee then?" He suggested and I, even in my dazed surprise, somehow dipped my head in slight agreement.

"Sure." I answered, albeit a little breathlessly.

We walked together, me just a step ahead as we emerged from the sidestreet which housed the studio. I caught himself waiting for someone else to catch onto the fact that the infamous Matty Healy was walking amongst us commoners. But no one seemed to be any the wiser, Matty's all black get-up allowed him to move about the city almost inconspicuously, letting me shepherd him into a nearby bakery without any fuss at all.

"Why don't you go grab us a table and I'll order?" I found myself saying as we stepped into the shop.

Healy stared at me for a long moment before he finally nodded. Quietly asking for a simple coffee as I wandered over to join the queue.

Joanna's bakery had been around for decades now, or so I’d been told, shacked up between ever changing franchises and fast food chains. It had become a long loved favourite of mine since having moved to London, I'd found it during my time at uni and it had truly been a godsend throughout the first few weeks of having baby Teddy. Joanna's coffee had been the only thing keeping me afloat way back then.

I gave a bright grin when the woman’s greying hair came into view, eyes catching mine from behind a pair of spectacles Teddy, for some odd reason, seemed fascinated by whenever we dropped in.

"Hello, you." The ageing woman greeted me with a sweet smile. "Good to see you're doing well, and how is young Teddy?"

"He's doing fine, thank you, Joa. Just overcame a bout of flu." I informed her, hip checking the wooden counter that housed a row of cabinets. "Been a hectic couple of days."

Joanna's brows lifted and her thin lips pursed in concern as she tucked a tea-towel into her navy apron. "I can only assume so. He's doing well now though, I hope?"

I waved off her unnecessary worry with a fond smile, "Right as rain, racing around without a care in the world today. Me though? I’m still trying to get over it- not that he realises.” I chuckled, “He gave me quite the scare, if I'm being honest."

"Kids tend to do that. But Mouse, my dear, you should have called! I would have had some soup sent over for him."

With an appreciative grin, I thanked her, knowing that there was no falseness in her offer, "I'll remember that for next time, I'm sure Teds would've loved it."

Joanna returned my sentiment with a gentle nod before the sound of the shop's bell rang over the door, announcing another customer. "Well then, what can I get for you, dove?"

I exhaled, glancing up towards the blackboarded menu mostly out of habit, "One regular coffee, please-"

"Isn't it a bit late in the day for coffee? You'll be up all night." Joanna scolded lightly, cutting me off, I couldn't help the soft chuckle I gave. Forever humoured by the women in my life constantly telling me what to do.

"Not for me, Joa, don't you worry." I hurried to assure her before prattling off the rest of my order without another interruption once Joanna had hummed in a quiet understanding. 

"Takeaway?" She prompted, but I shook my head, gesturing over my shoulder towards the many tables behind.

"We'll sit in, if that's okay."

Joanna blinked in surprise, obviously not having seen me enter with anybody. "I didn't realise Adeline had come in, I usually hear her."

I gave a peel of laughter at that but was quick to press my lips together. "No, no. No Adi today, I'm with a new friend."

The older woman smiled at me as she pushed her glasses further up her nose, "I see."

My head tilted in confusion at odd her tone but left it be. "Could I also get some of that famous chocolate cake of yours while I'm at it? Two slices, please."

"Of course, I'll have it sent right over."

I grinned and waited until I'd paid and Joanna had turned her back on me before shoving my change into the tip jar. 

It was an ongoing thing between us, the first time I'd tried to leave anything behind she'd sent me on my way with an entire tray of carrot cake. I had been more than grateful for the unexpected gift but it didn't take me long before I realised what the older woman had been up to. So I'd taken to sneaking my tips into the jar whenever she wasn't looking. Joanna though, it seemed, had eyes in the back of her head, so she chose to repay this act with a multitude of free treats, often gifted through Teddy so that I was unable to decline.

Picking up the two mugs Joanna set down on the counter, I was then promptly shooed away. So, shaking my head and chuckling softly, I turned without another word said and bypassed a crowd of customers that had since entered the bakery, in search of Matty. 

I found him seated at a booth in the very far back, having shucked off his jacket and glasses now that he had his back turned towards the rest of the room. Though he’d kept the beanie, I noted.

Steeling the nerves I felt, I settled the drinks down on the table and smiled apologetically when I saw that Matty had startled at the sound.

"One plain black coffee. Didn't know whether you wanted any sugar or not, so I stashed some sachets away just in case." I laughed before upending a supply of sugar packets from my pocket onto the table. 

He simply laughed as he reached out to take two. "Cheers."

I dipped my head and worked on pouring a few splashes of milk into my own brew. I was just stirring when someone approached, almost instantly I found myself grinning at the sight.

"Mouse! My, it's been a while, what ever did we do to deserve such a pleasure?" Cassie greeted me with a delighted smile, settling two small plates onto the table before rounding it to pull me into a hug.

Laughing softly, I wrapped an arm around her neck and enjoyed the way she squeezed me tight, a fixture that accompanied every one of her hugs, before we parted. "Only been a week since you last saw me, Cas. Don't act as though you've missed me."

Cassie gifted me with a wink and beaming grin before she pivoted and turned to catch a glance at my tagalong.

I watched as her eyes widened briefly, obviously not having expected this particular visitor to be staring back at her, but she was professional enough to conceal her shock.

"Well, this is a first." Cassie announced, still smiling away whilst she looked between the two of us sat at the table. "Can't remember the last time you brought us a new visitor, Mouse. You must be special- I'm Cassie, by the way."

Healy's eyes darted between the hand the waitress had extended out and myself. I tried for an encouraging smile but wasn't exactly sure if I’d managed to pull it off or not. 

Cassie, as lovely as she was, was definitely a shock to an introvert’s system. I’d learnt that lesson all too quickly. But Healy had handled Adi with ease and she was levels above Cassie, the bright eyed woman standing before us now almost seemed shy in comparison, in truth.

"Matty." He forced out as he took Cas’s hand in his own, "Great to meet you."

He cleared his throat when his palm returned to cradling the inside of his cup and Cassie smiled sweetly at him.

"Good to meet you too, Matty. I hope you enjoy the cake, it's a favourite of M's." She chuckled, nudging the plate closest towards me. "I hear it's all she ever raves about."

I grinned impishly as I picked up my spoon and bit down on a mouthful of chocolate delight. "And it's all I ever will rave about. Nothing compares to Joa’s gâteau."

Cassie rolled her eyes at me but tittered, "I know, I know, we've heard it all before! I'll leave you both to it then, the life of a waitress waits for no one. Hope you enjoy the food though- and again, it was nice to meet you Matty, don't be a stranger."

With that she waltzed off, but not without throwing a gleeful grin over her shoulder that only I was meant to see. 

I wrinkled my mouth to keep from reacting outwardly before deciding to focus back on my dessert. 

"Sorry about her." I felt the need to murmur, glancing across the table.

Healy shook his head, smiling slightly. "Don't, she seemed nice."

I couldn't help my short laugh, recalling an earlier conversation had with Adi. "Oh she's nice, all right."

Healy didn't comment on my strange reaction, only arched a questioning brow and pulled his cake in closer.

"You know, you pronounced that in perfect French."

"Pronounced what?" I quizzed, already scooping up another spoonful.

"Gâteau." Healy informed, botching the imitation, fingertips poised over the rim of his plate.

"Yeah, and?"

He shook his head again, "Just caught me off guard is all. You speak it then, fluently?"

Tongue in my cheek, I nodded. "Mam's from a tiny village in Alsace."

"Wow. So how'd you end up with that accent then?"

I breathed out an airy laugh, "What's that meant to mean, Manc? Is it too crass for the likes of your wellbred ears?"

Healy's eyes, honest to God, bulged as he fought not to trip over his own tongue in an attempt to mend his minced words. 

"No, no, I just meant-"

"I know what you meant. Don't worry." I chuckled, taking pity seeing as I’d already shot back. "I’m only having you on. She met my dad there when he was visiting, but the two of them moved when they married."

"Oh. That's good, I ‘spose. She loved him enough to follow him home."

I hollowed my cheeks and focused my stare on my chocolate smeared spoon. 

"Wouldn't put it quite like that, but yeah she loved him. Even after he fucked off."

With a cluck of my tongue, I pushed the cake away and focused instead on my drink.

"I'm sorry."

Frowning for a split second, I forced out a breath and the emotions that had roused back down, then put on a brave face. Determined not to think about it any longer than I had to.

"No, don’t be. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Just, hard to talk about is all." I scratched at the grain etched into the wooden table.

"Nah, I get that." Healy assured with a shrug, "Don't have to apologise for it though, you have a right to your emotions."

For some reason, that reply surprised me and I had to fight back the urge to say whatever was on the tip of my tongue. I merely nodded instead and went back to picking at the cake.

"Fuck. That's good."

My head snapped up at the audible moan that Healy emitted and found the man pulling a chocolate coated silver spoon from his lips.

"What the fuck do they put in this?" He questioned me, eyes wide as he heaped another helping into his mouth.

"No idea." I laughed, watching closely now.

"Whatever it is, it's fucking good."

And with that, the tension was broken. Healy practically inhaled his serving of cake whilst I portioned mine, smiling around every mouthful. We made small talk as we sipped our drinks quietly, ignoring everyone else bustling about the bakery. 

It wasn't long before I finally found the balls to ask the question I'd been meaning to ask ever since Matty had shown up outside the studio though.

"So, can I ask why you decided to pay me a visit now? Or, is it all top secret? Like hush hush."

His lips twisted before he replied, "Don't have an actual answer for you. Had a shitty day and ended up storming off, didn't even realise I'd wandered so far from the recording studio until I caught sight of one of the backroads we'd taken to get to your loft the other day.” He shrugged, finger toying with the near empty cup. “Was faced with the choice of finding the nearest pub and getting pissed, or seeing if you were in. It was a toss up."

"And I won?" I found myself asking, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Would seem so."

"Happy I could help, then. The former wouldn't have done you much good."

Healy’s eyes met mine then and his gaze flickered across the length of my face. 

I couldn't really place the expression he wore and almost had a small fit when I wondered over whether or not he was looking at my scars, but found that I didn't care much. Which was odd and had me feeling self conscious all over again.

"No, I don't suppose it would've."

It took a second for me to connect the dots, to remember what I’d even said, but when I did I smiled.

Not long after polishing off our drinks, I suggested we take a walk to burn off the cake we’d piled on. But in reality, I had just realised that without the big jacket and sunglasses it was hard to miss the marvel that was Matty Healy sitting in an old Islington bakery.

Matty had been all for the idea and so together we’d exited the bakery, me calling out my goodbyes to Joanna and Cassie when I passed. The older woman’s gaze lingered on Matty’s retreating form but she bid us nothing but a soft nod with her quiet farewell.

We wasted what was left of the hour I had wandering down backroads, just taking in the city and talking between ourselves. I picked up on where Matty had been raised, in a large house in a town just south of Manchester. He hadn’t lingered too long on the topic of his family, either reasoning that I already knew about it or preferring not to, but I was more than happy to tell Matty about my mum. Recalling stories of my youth, of Christmases spent in our tiny cottage, and summers down by the creek. 

It was to my own wasted effort, not trying to focus too many of my questions on Matty’s career, because a lot of what surrounded him came from or was to do with being in the limelight. From his friends and social circle, to his everyday life. Matty’s hobby had and always would be music, that much was incredibly clear to me, only he’d just been lucky enough to make a career out of it.

Before long, I realised that our time was finally up and I was left observing the way Matty toed the edge of the curb just outside of the busy train station.

Surprisingly, Matty had wanted to walk me all the way there, just to make sure that I could arrive and board the train with all my limbs still intact. And, to his credit, he’d done exactly that, even with all of my amused reassurance that I’d be fine and did it daily.

But in truth, it was just me being overly concerned about someone recognising who Matty really was and starting a crazed frenzy. In my head all I could see was him disappearing into an ocean of teenage girls that suddenly swarmed him, calling out for help. 

I would be well and truly fucked if something were to happen to Matty whilst he was under my watch.

"You know," I began, staring up at the dark haired man before me. Noticing then that Matty, although older, looked an awful lot younger in that very moment. "I am glad you picked me."

He stared back at me, dark shades tucked into the lining of his jacket now. “That so?”

My cheeks bunched as I tried to dim my smile.

"Yeah," I confirmed with a soft chuckle, "Strange as it was at first, I surprisingly enjoyed myself."

"Surprisingly? I'm glad." Matty smiled, a small thing that wrinkled the corners of his eyes as he tugged at his ear. "I did too."

I returned the gesture, chest tightening.

The pavement rumbled beneath our feet then, meaning yet another train had pulled into the station beneath us and the Underground didn't wait around for anyone. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I’d best be on the next one in hopes of making it to Finn's at a decent hour but I was unable to leave Matty just yet. 

"You gonna be okay getting home?" I wondered, gaze skirting over the many heads that crowded the street as a dozen other people filed out of the station doors. "I mean, have you got money for a cab or something? Someone to call?"

I flushed when Matty laughed at my unnecessary concern, suddenly embarrassed by the thought of sounding like my mother. I bit back the urge to outwardly cringe.

"I'll be alright, babe. I'll have someone pick me up. Thanks though."

I dipped my head in understanding and then shoved my cold hands deeper into the pockets of my coat, rocking back and forth slightly. "So I'll be seeing you then?"

"Would you want to?"

I blinked, surprised by the question. Or maybe by the way Matty had phrased it.

“What d’you mean? What, did you just figure I'd spend an hour with you, dash off, and then never speak to you again? If it's alright, I actually wouldn't mind keeping in contact. It's not like Jamie doesn't already talk my ear off everyday, so what's adding you into the mix gonna do?"

“Hang on. Jamie? As in my Jamie? Jamie, Jamie? Manager Jamie, he actually messages you?” Matty immediately quizzed and at my mirthful nod, he shook his head in disbelief. “The dickhead!”

"He never mentioned it?" I thought to ask, unable to stifle my growing laughter.

"No he fucking didn't!" Matty replied with his tongue pressed against his top teeth. But his mouth was still curled upwards as he continued to shake his head, and so I took his reaction with a pinch of salt.

"Well, sorry to have been the one to break it to you then."

Matty snorted and lifted his eyes, hazy brown holding my stare. “Nah, it’s fine. Honestly just fucked off he got your number before I even had the chance to ask."

My eyebrows shot upwards, unsure on how to take that. "Um, well. I mean you could still ask?"

The minuscule smile Matty had been wearing switched into a full blown smirk at my stuttered words and I saw the challenge in his stare when he stealthily stepped closer.

"Well then, Squeaks. Would you do me the honour of giving me your number, or you gonna have me beg in front of all these people?"

I huffed a breathy laugh as I pulled my mobile out, handing it over to him without a second thought.

The way his face lit up caught me off balance and I could only watch on whilst Matty rushed to type an assortment of numbers into the device.

“What are you doing?” I suddenly asked, ginning when Matty angled the phone out in front of him.

He paused to glance over, shooting me a mischievous grin, one that had my stomach flipping at the very sight- and shit, if that wasn't a bad sign. But I could only focus on Matty now, on the way his grin changed his entire face, the haughty arrogance he had once carried fading alongside the sharp, sunken lines of his profile. It brought a pretty colour to his cheeks and brightened the shadows that stormed his eyes. 

It was hard to look away.

“Need a photo, don’t I?” Matty retorted easily, “How else you gonna know it’s me phoning?”

I was honestly somewhat startled by the sudden difference I saw in Matty then, in the confidence he now held, the very same that appeared in the videos I’d seen of him up on stage. In the good natured teasing and wit he shot out that had me struggling to form a valid response.

“Messaged myself too,” Matty explained, pulling me from my observation. “So all we need now, is a photo of you.”

Sure enough, when I pulled my full focus back to Matty, or on what he was now saying rather, I found him there holding his own phone up towards me.

"Come on, give us a smile then, mardarse." Matty mocked and I scoffed in return, the corners of my mouth twitching at the sound of his accent becoming more prominent. 

“God, you’re a right prat.” I rebuked, but it was softened by the mad grin I wore as I knuckled Matty’s elbow. “Fine, go on then, but make sure you get my good side, Healy!”

"But every side is your good side!"

I simply rolled my eyes at the exaggeration then leant in as near as I could to the camera so that it could get a close up of the face I made. Hands still tucked into my pockets and eyes now staring directly into the lens, I pooled my tongue out like a panting dog as I tilted my head to the side.

Matty’s bark of laughter echoed out across the highstreet, loud enough that it had a few heads turning, but no one paid much mind to a man who now had his face buried in his phone, gazing down at the picture he had just snapped.

"Good enough?" I asked, rubbing at my nose and glancing about as the self doubt began to seep in now that the fun was over.

Matty raised his head, and I reckoned that my pulse must have stuttered when I caught a glimpse of his wide eyes and bright smile. 

"Perfect."

[twistedtummies2]

Top 6 Epic Mickey Characters

Today is the release of the new “Rebrushed” Edition of a game I loved a ton growing up: “Epic Mickey.” I was OBSESSED with this game when it came out way back in 2010, and at the time it came out, it was treated as a big deal! There was a ton of merchandising and advertisement for this title, more so than you would get for most Disney games, and it’s not hard to see why: the game promised to provide a different kind of adventure for Mickey Mouse, with a darker tone and a focus on more obscure Disney characters and old cartoons. Nowadays, in hindsight, I feel the game could have gone even further than it did (and, apparently, the creators WANTED it to go further than it did, but either due to budget constraints, corporate meddling, or a bit of both, they couldn’t), but I still have a huge soft spot for it. It’s probably my favorite thing to feature Mickey Mouse as a heroic character, and it still has a notable cult following. Ironically for a game that focused on the obscure and the forgotten, the game itself sort of faded into obscurity for a while; despite the release of two sequels (namely a console follow-up called “Power of Two,” and a portable spin-off called “Power of Illusion”), the franchise sort of fizzled out pretty quickly, and for a long time it was seen as naught but an unusual footnote in the history of Disney and its presence in gaming. To celebrate the return of this game to store shelves (and, I believe, online distribution), I decided to do a quick rundown of my Top 6 characters from the games. Why Top 6, you may ask? Simple: because after six, it all gets kerbobbled. It’s harder for me to choose and rank characters beyond that point, simply because who I favor among them changes depending on my mood and how recently I’ve revisited portions of the game. My Top 6, however, have consistently been my Top 6 - both in terms of choices and ranking - pretty much from day one, and I don’t think will ever change, so they’re the ones I feel most comfortable discussing. Also, I’m going to attempt to avoid spoilers with this list, so I’m going to keep focused as much as possible on the first game, with less emphasis on the sequels. (Fortunately, all six characters appear in the first game, though some of the Honorable Mentions are from later titles.) I'll also try to avoid giving away too many of the twists in the plot, for those who will be playing Epic Mickey for the first time via this Rebrushed Edition. With that said, let’s dive into the Wasteland! These are My Top 6 Favorite Characters from Epic Mickey!

6. Pete.

What many people may not realize about Mickey’s famed arch-enemy is that Pete is actually the single longest-lasting recurring Disney character in history. Pete doesn’t just predate Mickey himself, he even predates Oswald the Lucky Rabbit: the character first showed up as a recurring villain in the silent animation/live-action hybrid “Alice Comedies,” with his first appearance dating back to 1925. That’s a whole three years before Mickey, and two years before Oswald! It’s therefore not entirely surprising to see Pete in the Wasteland, especially since the character has had so many different guises and roles throughout his long history…a fact that Epic Mickey takes humorous advantage of. You see, there isn’t just ONE Pete in the Epic Mickey universe. Oh, no. There are no less than FOUR. “Pete Prime” (the one picture here) is Big Bad Pete, who appears to be the town sheriff of Mean Street. Next there’s Small Pete, who lives in the Gremlin Village and is comically dressed up like a little Dutch girl doll. Then there’s Petetronic, who is basically what you’d get if Pete cosplayed as Commander Sark and is the head of Tomorrow City. Finally, there’s Pete Pan: a parody of Peter Pan who flies around Ventureland, mostly spending his time annoying the Wasteland’s version of Captain Hook. Interestingly, most of these Petes seem to be relatively nice characters, rather than real menaces to toon society…but be careful: a character with such a long and checkered past may not always be trustworthy.

5. Gremlin Gus.

Of all the characters left stranded and forgotten in the Wasteland, the Gremlins are easily the most obscure of the bunch. The characters were conceived in the mind of Roald Dahl - the author best known for his works of children’s literature, such as “The BFG” and “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Dahl wrote a story simply called “The Gremlins” that was going to be transformed into a Disney movie…but for various reasons, the film never came to pass. The book itself has fallen into utter obscurity, and the scrapped project is largely unknown by even the most ardent Disney fans: I, myself, only knew of the Gremlins prior to Epic Mickey because of a paper ad for a re-release of the book in the early 2000s. In “Epic Mickey,” however, the Gremlins are a major part of the universe: since the movie was never really a thing, and the book is so little-known nowadays, the creators of the game were able to create their own twist on the Gremlins unique to this world. They are essentially the custodians of the Wasteland, performing a variety of jobs and services to keep the place ship-shape. The most prominent of them all is their leader, Gus. Gremlin Gus is a sort of “Papa Smurf” figure for the Gremlins, and acts as Mickey’s guide through the games, providing bits of advice and various hints along the rodent’s journey. Think of him along the lines of the Cheshire Cat from the American McGee’s Alice games, or one of Link’s many companions (such as Navi, Midna, or Fi) from The Legend of Zelda. In the first game, the vocal effects for Gremlin Gus were provided by veteran voice actor Bob Joles. In “Power of Two,” Gus was given a proper speaking voice, provided by none other than the Dread Pirate Roberts himself, Cary Elwes…and I can’t help but think such casting is why they perhaps gave Gus a few TOO MANY lines in the sequel, buuut that’s another story for another time.

4. Mickey Mouse.

I debated whether or not to give Mickey a place in the ranks of his own, for various reasons, but after some deliberation…yeah. I think he’s earned it in this case. As I said in the preamble, this is probably my favorite thing made to feature Mickey himself, and Mickey is part of that. This is one of those rare occasions where the premise of the story largely results from Mickey’s own actions and inactions, rather than the machinations of some other scoundrel: it is due to Mickey’s own foolery that the Phantom Blot and the Thinner Disaster are created. It is due to Mickey’s popularity that Oswald and several other characters in the Wasteland are forgotten to begin with. Now, Mickey has to essentially remember and salvage the very things that are in ruin because of him. The game plays around with this idea of saving and destroying through its chief mechanic: the magic paintbrush Mickey uses can destroy things by shooting streams of hyper-acidic thinner, or create through use of an enchanted paint. Different obstacles can be overcome by different uses of the two tools, and some can be dealt with in multiple ways: choice is a key factor of Mickey’s story, as well as the player. Originally, the game makers wanted to go even further with this idea, with the player’s decisions making Mickey more good or more evil throughout the story, but while the final result may be toned down from their initial schemes, I think it still works brilliantly. Mickey is still the fun-loving hero we all recognize, but there’s that little bit of mischief and extra depth to the character present because of this idea of choice and the way he’s depicted. The sequels continued these ideas, with choice remaining a major part of the story in “Power of Two” once more, and paint and thinner still being equally useful in “Power of Illusion.” Bottom line: move over, Kingdom Hearts. THIS is how you make Disney’s most recognizable rodent into an action-ready gaming star.

3. The Phantom Blot.

This character is the main antagonist of the original Epic Mickey, and has been referred to by multiple names: Shadow Blot, Storm Blot, King Blot, or simply “The Blot.” Whatever you call this character, I’ll always refer to him as “The Phantom Blot,” since that is who the character basically is meant to be. In Disney comics and cartoons, the Blot has been an enemy of Mickey Mouse for many years - dating back to the 1940s, in fact. Typically, he’s depicted as a campy supervillain; a costumed criminal mastermind garbed in an inky cloak and cowl. However, in “Epic Mickey,” the Blot is reimagined as something far more monstrous: a creature made of ink, accidentally formed by Mickey when he meddled with some magic in Yen Sid’s workshop, the Blot is the cause of all the misery going on in the Wasteland. This Blot eventually turns out to be bigger than a castle, and able to send out swarms of “bloticles” to literally drain the life from the Wasteland. The Blot is intelligent, but not complex: he has no purpose other than to destroy, and longs to take Mickey’s heart, since only toons with hearts can leave the Wasteland. With that power, he can venture forth and continue to devour other worlds of their energy and life. I had heard of the Phantom Blot before Epic Mickey, but I really didn’t know much about the character: this radical reinvention, for a kid, was quite the introduction. And while I’ve since looked into the ACTUAL Phantom Blot and found great joy in his exploits, I still enjoy this reimagining. In my opinion, the Blot is one of the best video game villains of all time; more a force of cruel nature than anything else, he is a terrifying beast few players will ever forget.

2. The Mad Doctor.

So, here’s something interesting to note: out of all the “forgotten” characters featured in Epic Mickey, I actually knew almost all of them when the game came out. Some of them I knew pretty well, others I didn’t but I had at least heard of before the game’s release. The one exception to this rule was this guy: the Mad Doctor. The Doc was the titular antagonist of the Mickey Mouse cartoon “The Mad Doctor” from 1933 - one of the few Disney cartoons that’s actually managed to fall into the public domain. Many consider it to be one of the darkest Mickey cartoons ever made, and in “Epic Mickey,” the infamous mad scientist has not mellowed much with age. It’s explained that the Mad Doctor, when he first came to the Wasteland, was seemingly a friendly figure, and became an ally to Oswald. He was considered one of Oswald’s best friends, in fact. However, it’s ultimately revealed that the Mad Doctor was always just as wicked as he was in the cartoon; biding his time till he could make a grab for power. When the Blot came to the Wasteland, in the wake of the Thinner Disaster, the Mad Doctor turned on the good people of the kingdom, creating an army of cartoon cyborgs called “Beetleworx” (part toon, part machine) to help conquer everything. There’s a lot more I could say about the Mad Doctor that makes him interesting - especially in regards to the sequel games and a few twists in the launch title - but since I’m trying to avoid spoilers, I think it’s best I save a lot of that for another time. Suffice it to say, this was a great introduction to a great villain and a great cartoon, and I’m glad that Epic Mickey was able to give a little bit more attention to the Mad Doctor for modern audiences.

1. Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

Oswald was the main reason I got so interested in Epic Mickey so long ago, and was, in fact, more or less the reason the game happened to begin with. One of Walt Disney’s earliest creations, Oswald - who was the inspiration for not only Mickey himself, but also Bugs Bunny of WB fame in real-life - was the world’s first major cartoon star. After copyright issues led to Walt Disney breaking away from Universal Studios, and forming his own company, Oswald rapidly declined in popularity, and eventually pretty much vanished off the face of the Earth. In the real world, when Disney bought the rights to Oswald back from Universal many years later, this immediately transitioned into using him in a big (marketable) way, which led to the idea of Epic Mickey. Warren Spector (head of the team behind the game) became interested the instant Oswald was mentioned, being a huge animation buff, and as production went on, Oswald became a richer and richer character. In early concepts of the game’s story, he was actually going to be one of the main villains of the story, but by the time the game came out, he had transformed into the secondary protagonist. In the fictional story of the games, Oswald is the ruler of the Wasteland…but unlike others who are more or less happy with their existence, Oswald’s feelings of dejection have steadily consumed him. He is portrayed as Mickey Mouse’s long-lost brother; he resents the fame and fortune Mickey got, while he was basically left to rot. He is so obsessed that he creates a place called Mickeyjunk Mountain, where he spends countless hours brooding over his failures and his lost family, surrounded by remnants of Mickey’s fame that span decades; everything from bubble gum machines to NES game cartridges. The adventure in the Wasteland gives Mickey a chance to not only connect with his past and save the world, but to reconnect with and save Oswald, too. It’s the relationship between Oswald and Mickey, beyond all else, that makes the games so powerful, and Frank Welker - who provided Oswald’s vocal effects/voice in all the games - gives probably one of my favorite performances in his entire career. And keep in mind, this is the guy who played characters like Megatron, Garfield, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Fred AND Scooby from various takes on Scooby-Doo, and more “creature voices” than you can shake a stick at. To call this among his best is saying a LOT. For both his fictional prominence and historical significance, it’s no surprise that I name Oswald the Lucky Rabbit as My Favorite Epic Mickey Character. Case closed.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

The Three Little Pigs.

Horace Horsecollar.

Gremlin Prescott.

Clarabelle Cow.

Captain Hook.

[skelnexswriting]

Flowers

➪ | Pairing: | Ghost x reader

➪ | Warnings: | Fluff, 3rd person POV, “Y/n” used, shorter story, fluff ghost :]

➪ | Summary: | Words weren’t Simon riley’s thing. But maybe sending flowers was.

➪ | A/n: | I got sick and wasn’t feeling well so i wasn’t able to post :[ But now im better so hope you enjoy this short little story! (There might be a pt. 2 idk)

Part two

—

Flowers..They were many types, many with different meanings,

Everyone has dreamt of getting flowers from that certain someone. Even soldiers like Y/n.

She may have not wished it constantly but she always hoped that one day, the person she loved would get her a beautiful bouquet. One with a deep meaning behind it.

When Y/n enlisted, she had little hope that she’d find someone since she’d be across the world most of the time..

But that changed when she was recruited as task force 141’s medic.

She didn’t mean to fall for the mysterious solider who wore the skull mask. It just happened. Although, Simon riley wasn’t a man of many words.

He was known for many things, but word? no. The few words he said came off as monotone or harsh. Many times he meant it that way, but not all the time.

When y/n first joined she thought ghost just simply disliked her, but later she learned the solider wasn’t good with his words.

Ghost actually liked the medic..he just didn’t know how to express it.

He remembered her once talking about how she loved flowers. Not just because of their beauty but their meanings.

Ghost found himself looking up what the different type of flowers meant, trying to find the perfect ones. Making sure to note which ones he liked.

He knew he wouldn’t be able to woo the medic with words but he could try flowers.

First he got hydrangeas for gratitude. He put them on y/n’s desk to find with a simple note saying “thank you”

He didn’t sign or anything so that she wouldn’t know it was him. He watched as you smiled at the flowers and placed them in some water.

…

Next he got Y/n violet, representing his loyalty to her. Again he placed them on her desk, leaving a simple note with bouquet.

Y/n took care of the flowers, the hydrangea lasted quite a while. Y/n’s heart fluttered at the thought of someone leaving them. She’d just have to hope it was the person she longed for.

…

Sunflowers were next. Representing adoration. This time Ghost decided to leave them at Y/n’s door. Like the last two times, a simple unsigned note accompanied the flowers.

Y/n kept the notes, simply tucking them away in her drawer. She tried to piece them together seeing if it sounded like anyone she knew.

But she still had yet to figure out the mystery “florist”.

…

Then it was Zinnia. He’d read it meant respect, honor. Ghost had a lot of respect for y/n. She’d patch up the task force in the middle of a battle field without hesitation.

The flowers were again placed at her door, with a note.

…

This little “game” had been going on for quite a while. Ghost was surprised to see y/n hadn’t caught on to it being him.

He thought the lack of words would give it away. He wanted to confess with this next flower. But he didn’t want a simple rose..no that was too simple.

He needed one that was unique but still represented the deep feelings he had for y/n.

Asters.

They were perfect. Aster represented undying love. That exactly what Ghost felt after a year of having y/n by his side.

One thing would be different though. He’d sign the note he left, then y/n would finally know.

…

Ghost placed the flowers on Y/n’s night stand. The notes read, “These flowers can only express a portion of the love I have for you. - Simon Riley.

It was only a matter of time before you saw the note. Ghost couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. He’d never done something like this.

He decided to hide in his room, as if that would stop the outcome.

…

Y/n had finally finished writing her reports, so she went back to her room for some rest. She couldn’t help but feel a but sad when she didn’t see the usual flowers waiting at her door.

But to her surprise, they were waiting on her nightstand, with another note.

Her eyes moved along with words but stopped at the signed name.

“- Simon Riley.”

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 7 (pt. 1)

[they read the intro cards, it's quite cringe]

Logan: "You know what the honor is..." (tries to gesture)

Alex, interrupting: "Because nothing says Tour de France like mad stats."

Logan (after waiting): "...You get to spin that wheel."

Alex: 😊😊

i know, i know, i start every episode out with The Bit. and this could be a paragraph almost identical to the last intro because at first it looks same-old, same-old: logan is describing the activity like he's reading his own death sentence, alex still has not learned how to play to the audience, they both brighten up a little bit on the **iconic** line. but there are some differences. the body language. the way alex is once again posing so awkwardly so he can face logan. the way he looks right at logan immediately, and then the laugh just sort of tumbles out of him and he can't even keep his head up, and the way logan turns to him and his eyes track the movement of alex curling in down and towards him and then he uses the card to gesture and bring alex back in as it's time to start the game

i was rewatching this moment listening to their voices and their laughter when the thought came to me suddenly: "it's like they're taking care of each other." and i didn't even know how to elaborate on that more but it just felt so right that i had to keep examining it and now it've got it. the thing is, they're both struggling at this point. a lot. logan for obvious reasons, but alex too, very much so. silly season is hitting williams hard. there's rumors of antonelli, rumors of sainz, rumors of a mid-season replacement. on top of that, checo's contract is at this point being both ridiculed and questioned because of his failure to meet the goals, and what are people benchmarking him against? not max, his teammate, but logan. because logan can now outqualify him. and that's not "oh my god look at how well logan's doing!" it's "oh my god look at how absolutely dogshit checo's doing" (the general discourse, not my opinion). even when the williams upgrades make an actual improvement, nobody notices or cares because everybody else makes bigger improvements. and while williams doesn't have the worst pr situation on the grid, ever since australia they've needed some serious image management and that hasn't been attended to enough. jv is publicly and aggressively courting carlos, making outrageous claims about How Well They're Doing, and the longer the team goes while pretending the logan situation doesn't exist, the more aggravated the fans get. the team isn't doing anything to address the growing tension, and they don't have the on-track performance to do the work for them, so who's left carrying such a huge portion of the entire team's image? alex. he's walking on a wire to avoid falling into the absolute shitstorm of william's pr while still supporting and representing the team that's given him a second chance. he has to juggle being compared to logan and outperforming his car and people saying he deserves better and his team principal's fumbling and knowing he could have all this resentment and bitterness and jealousy from logan and that's not there. and because he's already created this image of sunshiney cutesy cuddly cat dad, he can't afford to have a single moment of visible anger or frustration, even though that's literally how racing drivers just are. so in many ways he's completely trapped in multiple situations and he doesn't know what logan's thinking or what anyone else is thinking and he's overwhelmed.

and logan doesn't have anything. no team support, no chance at another team, no certainty about literally any event in his future from the next few years to the next few weeks. his last few moments with alex are starting to feel like a consolation prize, starting to feel even more painful because of how aware he is of the time running out. and logan can see past the disoriented rambling and the hyperactivity and the media personality, he knows alex is overwhelmed. and it's not something they feel they can talk about with each other because they're scared of hurting each other, of driving a wedge between them when every goodbye feels like the last. but here's logan, unable to feign interest, unable to give the camera anything to work with because he's tired and he's bitter and he just wants to stop owing these people. but alex is there, kind of looking like he forgot they were filming today, and logan can't do much but he can do this. he can make alex laugh. he can remind alex that it's fun to be silly, you can make something silly out of this stupidity, that it's okay and the resentment at the whole thing doesn't need to be there and that they're going to get through this and they're actually going to have fun. he turns all the way into alex and watches his reaction, eyes him up and down, and his smile gets a little sadder and a little more mature as he lets alex half-fold towards him because "logan that isn't even funny how am i laughing every single time". and it's become this sort of ritual for them. it's literally just A Bit but it's their way of stepping all the way out of formula fuckup life and into just this little bubble of each other and a game. "okay, we're going to let this go now. we're going to forget that it's stupid and we don't want to be their social media guinea pigs and we're both being mistreated yet expected to deliver performances like we're not. we're just going to forget that and we're going to have fun with each other and it's going to be nice because we can do it together." and even with everything that's happening, logan is the one who initiates that. he flicks the switch for both of them. and alex's laugh is amusement, yeah, but it's also just relief– the beautiful dissociative relief of leaving everything behind for just a little bit. it's gotten to the point where alex visibly waits on that cue. he looks fidgety and frustrated and out of it and like a kid who got dragged to his mom's book club until logan starts even the beginning of the sentence and then he looks over and the smile starts to flit across his face and then the channel changes. logan's carrying them both over the threshold.

[the question is about average speed]

Logan (such a dumbass annoying smile): "Can I answer in miles per hour? I'm kidding ha ha HAA 😎😎😎" *smacks table* "Ah that's funny..."

Alex:

Alex:

Alex a million years later: 😂

ah, we haven't had one of these in a while. logan being a little shit just to annoy alex. alex being so annoyed and then so endeared he basically short-circuits. that was such a stupid joke and even the way he laughed was like "i just made the STUPIDEST joke >:)" it like has the tone of a dad joke but not even that it's just stupid... and he's the only one who laughs. even though it's obviously forced because that's pretty much part of the joke, it's supposed to be so not funny it actually is funny.

and then logan moves on from that and heads straight into thinking-too-hard-about-this mode and alex is processing on internet explorer speed. he laughs first when logan looks over at him with that stupid shit eating "did you hear that STUPID joke i just made" look and then he does the signature blush and look away (seriously we might have heart-eyes piastri and fuck me-eyes leclerc but what about cast-down eyes albon because he literally cannot hold eye contact when he's flustered which is 80% of the time in logan's presence) and then as logan starts musing about the question alex is like– i swear, he's playing logans expression over again in his head. he's tilted in logan's direction, not looking at anything, and i swear to god he's just remember logan's dumb shit-eating smile and thinking about the joke itself and then suddenly he's laughing. and he doesn't mean to and it even sounds unexpected like it's taking the breath out of him and then he literally has to interrupt himself like, "um! sorry!" because it takes him some time to regain his composure. logan crept out of the shadows just long enough to drop a shit joke and now he's huddled back but that moment is sticking way longer in alex's head than it should. bringing himself back to the game and out of his own head/imagination nearly pains him.

(will continue soon but jeez i had a LOT to say!)

ep 7 pt 2

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

I be back.

Images by themselves below the cut because I spent way too much time on them + text because I’ve been gone for a while—‘course I got a lotta say.

It’s certainly been a while, eh? I did this last cour, too, and I swear to God if I do this for the next cour… Worst part is, I haven’t even watched it yet this time, rip :,) Will definitely do sometime later today, for sure, for sure.

So, I meant to get this done for IchiHime week (and look at how that turned out, haha), but not only was July a month full of pleasure, but it was also full of pain work. I was bordering a D for Orgo, so I spent a good portion prioritizing that—and it wasn’t for naught! Not only did I pass, but I went from a C- to a B! A freaking B, not even a B-!!! I’m still so shocked… I also ended up with over a 100 for lab, but I honestly kinda expected that. I’m just so glad I graduated without failing Orgo 2. Was infinitely better than Orgo 1, but goodbye, will never see you again. If I ever do, it’ll be too soon… Had hella good professors, though. That, I will say.

I go from ranting about Orgo to raving, even though it’s almost been a month… Oops ^^” The grade just still makes me so giddy, haha. Anyway, been mainly prioritizing drawing this (plus a part two to this, which I do have done as well, but I will be posting that sometime later today), though I did spend a good portion of the first half of this month rebooting my personal writing club. Enough about where I’ve been—let’s talk about the piece, shall we?

So, this was originally just an art idea I knew I wanted to do later, and when I saw what the first prompt was, it automatically came to the forefront of my mind. That, plus with the idea I eventually got for the second prompt, I really just had to. I actually probably could’ve gotten this done in a more reasonable time, but, see, when things are just an idea, I don’t put too, too much thought into them—only enough to consider them neat or substantial or something.

When it actually came to it, I found myself at a dilemma of just how faithful I wanted to stick with Orihime’s confession. Originally, I thought about incorporating the five specific things she mentioned into different past lives, but then I realized the timelines wouldn’t really make sense with what I was going for, especially considering Soul Society and stuff, which I had not thought about. So I kinda had to choose between previous lives or parallel lives. I initially went with the latter, but… idk, last minute, like the week of, I decided after checking the prompt list one more time that, nah, I definitely wanted previous lives. So, uh… yeah… I might still end up making a parallel lives version of this in the future, ‘cause I did like those ideas, too. We’ll see.

Anyway, I did try to make them at least somewhat reminiscent of the five things: Orihime and Hikoboshi are related to the astronaut thing ‘cause of space and stars and stuff. Heian Period IchiHime, well, it’s a bit of stretch, but I couldn’t really fit donuts in here since the timeline between them and the introduction of ice cream and the current timeline would’ve made one/two of these lives tragically short without even factoring in Soul Society—nothing wrong with tragedy, but not for this post, haha. So I went with small Chinese cakes ‘cause they’re a sweet? And they’d definitely be a very rare and special treat, so… idk.

Shinigami IchiHime’s also a bit of a stretch? You’d think I’d have the easiest time with being a teacher sometime in history, but I ended up sticking it here, and I was adamant I wanted to draw them in their academy days. So, you’ve got Orihime teaching Ichigo some kido techniques or something, idk. Maybe there’s also a kido equivalent to the dummy Hollow thing? And Orihime has a similar/equivalent position to Shuuhei for that? Idk, am just spitballing here to justify myself even though I know I don’t have to.

Then finally, we got Edo Period IchiHime, with Ichigo introducing ice cream to Orihime for the first time ever. And then of course, I shouldn’t have to explain the last one, haha.

Oh, God, I have so much to catch up on… which I will do later. And hey, since my scheduled posts are all up, I guess I’ll just use my queue to reblog posts I’ve missed since Ik I definitely will be reblogging a lot—don’t wanna bombard you with a ton of posts, aha. I will be making them daily instead of weekly, though, so that I’m not stashing them for too long. Starting tomorrow.

[ivanttakethis]

End of Round 20 - Tov’s Log

Onyx (44) vs. Lang (55) -> Lang Win

————————————————————

Tov hadn’t been this happy in so long.

As soon as the lights and audio on stage were cut and the emergency alarms blared, Tov knew it was Solei.

They came back.

And they brought others this time.

Tov couldn’t make out any faces in the dark as the contestants in the pods were quickly corralled by a swarm of guards and marched away from the stage.

She could only hope that Aurien was among the rebels too.

When it was all over, Nyx and Lang’s scores were totaled.

44 - 55

Nyx would’ve died if Solei hadn’t intervened.

They saved his life.

They saved what was left of her sanity too.

Tov had to shove her face in her pillow to keep the guard posted outside her room from hearing her giddy laughter.

She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard and so earnest out of genuine, unadulterated joy.

Nyx wouldn’t die in this gilded cage.

His life wouldn’t be at the mercy of a bloodthirsty audience.

They couldn’t hurt him anymore.

Even if Tov never got to see him again, it didn’t matter.

Nyx was safe.

That was all she wanted for him.

That night, for the first time since the start of the competition, Tov fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

———

A different guard than usual brought Tov’s breakfast to her room.

She could tell by their build and the slope of their shoulders.

They handed her the tray and left without a word.

Weird. She thought, shutting the door.

Tov set the tray on her desk and started eating. The cafeteria had given her a larger portion of mash than normal.

As she dug in with her spoon, something white at the bottom of the tray caught her attention.

It looked like paper.

Tov furrowed her brows and fished the foreign object out with her fingers.

It was indeed a folded up piece of paper.

Whatever was inside, the author didn’t want anyone other than Tov to see.

She wiped the mash off the paper as best as she could before carefully unfolding it.

Scribbled on the page in tight, neat handwriting was a series of five numbers grouped together.

030718, 028812, 030906, 721097, and 233109.

Tov sucked in a breath.

She would know that first set of numbers anywhere.

Solei’s identification number.

The other numbers came back to her with ease.

Aurien was 028812.

Rose was 030906.

Ji Woo was 721097.

Ryu was 233109.

The note was a list of her escaped classmates.

Though some were missing, like Aegaeon and Saachi. Vera too.

But if the list isn’t exhaustive—

That must mean the ones listed were alive.

They must’ve been the rebels that helped Solei save Nyx.

Holy shit…

A pearl of laughter tumbled out of Tov’s mouth, her lips curling into a small smile. She clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress any more noise.

Hot tears welled up in her eyes. For once they were tears of joy, not grief.

It was an odd feeling for her heart not to hurt these days. But Tov would hold onto it for as long as she could.

Some of her classmates still out there fighting— surviving against all odds and saving who they could.

All hope wasn’t lost just yet.

Maybe others could be saved too.

Tov needed to figure out who sent her the note.

Why did they choose her specifically?

And what else do they know?

————————————————————

Looks like someone is feeding Tov information (pun intended) 😁

After Lark’s death and the hostile interrogation, I thought Tov could use a bit of hope to keep her going.

She was really worried about the round because she didn’t want Nyx or Lang to die.

Now she only has to worry about trying to keep Lang alive until they complete against each other.

Tov does NOT know what she’s going to do when it gets to that point, but that’s a problem for later.

Nyx belongs to @rockwgooglyeyes.

Lang belongs to @its-langgg.

Solei belongs to @solei-eclipse.

Aurien belongs to @aurienneirua.

Rose belongs to @rosedeleca.

Ji Woo, Ryu, and Saachi belong to @starry-skiez.

Aegaeon belongs to @paradisedisconcert.

Vera belongs to @junebluues.

[actuallyevilgay]

The Apathy (Part 7)

Ascended Astarion x Male Tav

DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove don’t eat. Please read my about before replying. Content: Ascended Astarion x Male tav, this is post epilogue.

Summary: Astarion continues to carefully observe Tav while being a little jealous of Morlock.. Amongst others. Content Warnings: I don't think this one has any notable TWs? If I need to add new tags by the way, please let me know! A/N: heiii it's been a bit. I was GOING AND GOING with this one. Hope you enjoy the banter.

Read on ao3

Nauseous. Ever since the Dharma incident, you can’t help but feel incredibly nauseous. Something’s been nagging at the edge of your skull, as if there’s a physically missing piece. No, really, like there was a hole in your skull itself, rather than a lack of memory.

Perhaps you had a traumatic brain injury before you got yourself to Neverwinter, still not sure why you were here, or why there was this driving desire to hide away.

Jilvy’s tavern definitely fulfilled a portion of that desire, tucked away in a neat corner across a rather busy street, it garnered only a niche attention for most of the time. Jilvy’s efforts weren’t wasted though, and it showed in the diversity of new clientele popping up over time. The busy hours meant Jilvy would spend more time helping in the kitchen and less chatting up the customers. Not that she was complaining about it, she had you walk around as her personal handyman.. With the height difference and all.

Your work routine was so in sync that Jilvy no longer had to ask for things out of reach, you’d just hand them over without much thought.

To your own surprise, it was starting to get easier to just exist among people and be seen by them or looked at. Still, the nervous mannerisms remained. To the common folk, they found it endearing. You slowly came to realise Jilvy may have hired you because people were naturally drawn to you. Interested in mystery perhaps, or.. Your stuttering and overall attitude was entertaining in some way. The charisma was there, even when you’re not trying.

‘’He’s a real looker, isn’t he?’’ The average tavern gossip kept you on your toes, but as time went on it bothered you less.

The presence of the Tiefling adventurer had eased some of the stress, still the colour orange itself would put you on high alert.

Gale hadn’t shown up in a while. You figured he was too busy investigating the mage’s whereabouts. Perhaps he got into trouble, or maybe he had gone back to Waterdeep to handle business. He promised he’d come back after.

On Jilvy’s request, you started to write notes for yourself in a journal to share with Gale later, for your questions.. Ones he surely had answers to. There was a particular memory that would pop up over time, a city on fire.. A flying ship. Some aberrant creature speaking to you as if you were familiar. He was upset, insulted. Someone you had betrayed. Then there was a vision of corpses of creatures similar to him.. 

‘’You look beautiful when you’re lost in that pretty head of yours, boy.’’ The voice of a stoic man interrupted your trail of thoughts. ‘’That, or a mindflayer gobbled on your head-’’

‘’Mind flayer..? Sorry?’’ You blinked, the words pierced your skull. Examining the man before you, you assume he’s an adventurer, a barbarian type. Intimidating, and.. Really bad at flirting.

‘’Ha! Bad joke. I just arrived back home after touring Baldur’s gate, there was a whole thing over there. The Absolute Crisis. But you Neverwinter city folks don’t know anything about that, do you?’’

He cocks his head to the side, winking. You still can’t tell if he’s trying to flirt or insult you.

‘’But I like the dolly-looking guys. They let me talk.’’ No.. Now he’s talking to himself, about you.

Behind him, Morlock stands on his feet, withdrawing from a book he was reading, making eye contact with you.

You think back to the Barbarian’s mumbling for a bit and decide to write down some of the keywords he was talking about before turning your attention to him.

‘’Sir, this is a tavern- Well.. More of a teahouse. People always come here to chat, its an average day.’’ You blow him off, but he doesn’t take the hint.

‘’I was hoping to do more than chat.’’

‘’Okay, I think you’ve misread the sign that says no drunks.’’ Morlock taps the Barbarian’s shoulder. ‘’Leave the bartender be, For someone all talk, you seem to struggle with language a lot.’’ You’d hoped he’d do the mature thing and walk off, but he stands up tall to try and intimidate Morlock, who barely reacts to the attempt.

‘’Hmm. Almost adorable, you do look like a squealer.’’ Morlock mutters to himself.

The man then proceeds to reach forward and try to Grab Morlock’s horn, but he either slips or misses his aim, as Morlock steps sideways and grabs his arm, pulling him forward. He quickly loses balance and falls on a knee, trying to pull himself free. Morlock just squeezes him, digging his nails into the barbarian’s arm, who starts whining. ‘’Bastard!’’

‘’Last warning. Get. Out. If you get violent, I will not hold back.’’ He eyes the clientele. ‘’And I don’t think the good folk here appreciate violence.’’ 

The barbarian eyes you for a moment, almost to see if the conflict interests you. He’s likely looking for an excuse to try and impress you, only to stop at the lack of care in your expression.. You already went back to drying off glasses, listening in on the conversation.

As you turn your head back,There’s a faint glimmer in Morlock’s eyes. The barbarian walks out without another word, and the Tiefling drops a pouch of coins on the counter. 

‘’Did you pickpocket him?’’ You gasp, quietly hiding your admiration for the deed.

‘’A tip for the damages, it’s only fair.’’ Morlock shrugs. He retains eye contact while licking the barbarian’s blood off of his fingertips, noticing you’re starting to drown in his gaze. You shake your head, dizzy. Unsure.

Morlock puts a finger to his lips, grins, and shoves the pouch further in your direction.

‘’If you catch my meaning, darling.’’ He then walks back to his table and continues reading without a care in the world.

You blink, grabbing the pouch and pocketting it. A feeling of playful mischief makes you quietly smirk.. All too familiar. You maybe were a big game thief of sorts before coming here.. It was what you did to keep yourself fed before you started working for Jilvy..  If the weather allowed it, you could go back to the docks and find your hidden stash of stolen goods..

Even if you weren’t exactly aiming to be a criminal, some gut feeling told you it was necessary to have a plan B in case things went awry and living here wasn’t suitable anymore.

Another scribble for the journal.. A question to Gale. Why do you feel drawn to stealing? Would the wizard even have an answer to that? An instinctive need to take things you could take? A kleptomaniac? No.. Nothing in Jilvy’s tavern and living space had called upon that desire to put things in your pocket. So you assume it wasn’t an impulse.

You hadn’t called upon the telekinetic powers you used to grab things for a while, hoping it would lessen the headaches. Out of mild curiosity or just to make sure you still had them, you briefly make the cup you were working on float while no one is looking. ‘’Hmm..’’ Yep. Still got them.

And then it shatters on the ground before you realise you dropped it..

‘’Fuck.’’ Another thing to clean up.. Time to find the broom.

Morlock continues to watch from the corner of your eyes, subtly. You’ve noticed him stare, but figured he was just worried about you. He had been here daily since Jilvy reopened after the Dharma accident. A new book club member nonetheless. One stranger you felt you could trust.

There’s just.. Something about him that puts your guard down.

—

It’s not been too long, just a few days since Astarion started being a subtle bouncer pretending to be a customer, pretending to be a Tiefling called Morlock just so he could be near Tav without upsetting him.

He’d thought about it for quite some time, but simply couldn’t picture Tav wanting to look at the real him, let alone speak to him. Their last real conversation haunts him. Figures.. After his lashing out they sparingly spoke, only focussing on dealing with the netherbrain. Tav was quieter than he had been throughout the entire journey. That quietness remains even now. He only speaks when spoken to, avoiding conflict.

Tav couldn’t even retain eye contact during that last week of prepping for the netherbrain, Astarion recalls the taste of the lingering saltiness that coated his tongue back then. 

At the time, Astarion convinced himself he deserved better; His enlarged ego made him forget the world around him. The struggles of mortals. And Tav, was very much mortal. Warm, but distant. Emotionally he closed himself off entirely, focussing on getting the job done.

Offering the eternal gift would’ve sweetened the deal, right? He had cattle knocking on his doors begging for it when he got busy spreading his influence.

But it’s never been that simple with Tav.. Tav wasn’t as outspoken as he was, just blunt. He never demanded anything outside of the battlefield. He didn’t bark orders without reason, he wouldn’t force anyone to do something they didn’t like unless they were his enemy. Then.. You’d see a different side of him entirely.

Astarion’s glamored eyes linger on the page of his book, but the words escape from his mind’s eye. He visualised the memories he repressed, searching for answers on where things went awry, and why Tav pushed him away. All he could think of was the tadpoles, starting with Nere’s, and then.. In the shadowlands, he only regressed more after Moonrise..

Even now, the scent of illithid and netherese influence lingers on Tav. Astarion can smell it from here.

  There was a pause in that inner conflict back then when Astarion confessed. Tav defended him from this… Vile drow. Someone he’d rather forget about. The blood merchant.

Astarion’s confession led to their relationship evolving into something more, but before it could develop further, Astarion snapped the bridge they were building in half.

Or, he let it wither when it hadn’t sprouted fully. A waste.

No.. There’s one simple answer. Astarion had made everything about him. The confession, then his scars.. Killing the orthorn, Raphael, the ascension.. That night. Everything was about what he wanted and what he needed. Tav went along with it throughout most of the journey, but did he ever stop to ask what Tav wanted?

He just assumed. He plotted and planned.. Even now, he schemes.

But still, stubbornly so, he feels that he needs to plot and plan ahead. He cannot fail. He cannot let him slip from his grasp again, he just needs to.. Create the right opportunity to apologise. A scheme where he can get the two of them alone. To open his heart to him.

Otherwise.. He just pictures his dearest Tav staring at him blankly and walking off into smoke and dust again. Hiding from him.

Was he truly here to hide from him? Like Jaheira so confidently claimed? Out of all places, Astarion would have never put Neverwinter atop the list.. But, maybe he didn’t know Tav as well as he’d thought.

He mourns the time lost, as Morlock he could make up for it.. Learn a little. Tav deserved better from him.

Was he going about this the wrong way..? Certainly. But he wouldn’t willingly admit that.

As smoothly as this was going.. Astarion did notice the occasional glances from Tav, if he wasn’t glamoured, this would excite him. All he could really think of was that Morlock had game while he didn’t. If Morlock and he were separate people, and not an Elf wearing a disguise to spy on his ex.. He would strangle Morlock then and there for getting this much attention.

The fantasy itself was starting to become a habit. Every Time they exchanged brief eye contact, Tav looked so trusting at the tiefling.

When was the last time Tav looked at Astarion this way..? He can’t recall.

As much as he’d love to ponder more, time was passing and during the later hours of such a cold weekday, one customer is eager to get a warm drink in their body.

A beautiful human man, dark hair and bright blue eyes, walks in. Astarion notices Tav perk up immediately, recognising this person.. What’s this? Familiarity? Is he.. Seeing someone?

To not arouse suspicion, Astarion pulls the book closer to his face and pretends to be bewildered by the writing in utter suspense. What a performance..

He was youthful looking, but physically older than Tav. As for his manners.. There was a brief awkward staredown between the two as he sat down in a seat in front of the counter. ‘’Remember me?’’

‘’Oh- Mint guy.’’ Tav stutters.

‘’..Mint guy? Shit- I didn’t tell you my name.’’ He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

Good. Tav wasn’t seeing anyone..

‘’..I’m Tav.’’ Tav initiates small talk now? ‘’Just Tav.’’ A forced smile grows on his lips. He twitches nervously.

Fuck. The human is indeed very attractive..

‘’Well, ‘’Just’’ Tav. I’m Bouke. But you can call me Bo, if that’s easier.’’ He winks at him..

Tav lets out a soft chuckle. ‘’I like your name, it’s.. Unusual.’’

‘’Is it? You think I’m the rare sort? Well.. I’d love to try the rare chrysanthemum tea, with extra sugar please.’’ He points at a named menu item with his finger, then plants the same finger on his chin. He got the body language and lines for basic flirting down unlike the barbarian from earlier.. And Tav isn’t telling him no. 

Tav! Have some standards!

‘’Of course, it’ll take only a moment.’’ A bit of pink coats his cheeks.

Why isn’t he telling him no?! Gods.

He’d rather ‘’Morlock’’ get action than this… ‘’Average’’ good-looking person.

There’s a shift in the atmosphere of the teahouse tavern as Tav serves the man his drink and continues cleaning off dishes, checking on baked goods.. The other patrons have started to huddle together, whispering. The gossip was obviously about the cute bartender and the very good-looking patron getting actual attention from him.

‘’Calm down Astarion.. If you tense up more, it’ll be obvious you want to kill this guy on the spot..’’ He thinks to himself, untensing and turning a page of his book.

As he’s about to eye Tav and Bouke again, another patron approaches his table and points at the book. ‘’Oh, you’re reading this week’s book too?’’ Small talk.. Great. Now he has to multitask chatter too.

‘’Hmm? Yes. I’ve joined a bit late, I’m trying to catch up before the club meeting, if you don’t mind...’’ He replies, hoping that was enough of a sign that he wasn’t up for chatter. Instead.. The patron sits down at the other seat of his table and begins to talk about how happy he is to see a new face.. Something about wanting tieflings to feel more included in public spaces. But Astarion struggled to listen to their blabbering.

Bouke appears to be making conversation with Tav, as uninterested as he is in what the human has to say, Tav seems engaged, nodding and asking more.

He’s jotting down something in a notebook.. Is that an agenda? What is happening??

‘’And that’s why- If you’ve got any tiefling friends or family, don’t be afraid to invite them, this is a welcoming space.’’ The patron continues.

‘’Sorry- What?’’ By this point he can’t focus on holding the book in front of his face anymore.

‘’Oh- I spoke too fast, let me rephrase that..’’

 ‘’I appreciate the gesture, but as I said I was trying to read-’’

‘’..And there’s also this.. Y’know, it’s just not fair? Do tell me if anyone insults you for-’’

‘’Gods. Genuinely, Thank you for your concern, but I am trying to read.’’ 

‘’-My bad, So what do you like about the book? I think the plot takes a while to catch on..’’

He gives up.. At this point it's not his responsibility for this peasant to take a hint, they continue talking not even waiting for an answer.. Enough, back to whatever Bouke is doing-

‘’Hey uhm, Tav. I was wondering- I’ve been thinking about you since I first visited. Have- Uh.. Do you..? Are you.. Interested in me? I mean, to go on a date with me?’’ Bouke DARES. Oh, he is going to die for that if he-

‘’Oh. I-’’ Tav’s little smile starts turning into a frown, he clutches the notebook to his chest as he looks aside. ‘’I don’t know if I should.’’ Good boy. Tell him to fuck off already!

‘’..Why? ..Got your heart broken? You’re so sweet! I promise I won’t push you.’’ Bouke, Bouke, Bouke, Bo? Little Bo. You are digging yourself a grave right now. Don’t.

There’s not a brief silence, it's longer than some, Tav stops responding entirely, thinking.. Processing an answer. He seemed eager earlier, so this rejection has a reason. Astarion swallows, he hears a pin drop somewhere. The entire tavern is in suspense.

‘’I.. Am broken in places, where I shouldn’t be. I can’t. I’m sorry.’’ Throb. Damn, that stung Astarion more than he’d like it to. Deserved. He drops his book, reaching over to pick it up.

Even the annoying patron in front of him has stopped talking.

The entire tavern is quiet. There’s some coughs and awkward huffs. Bouke finishes his drink, not having a comeback to answer with. He seemed confident enough to try another pick-up line at first, but even he knows he can’t fill whatever void Tav appears to be dealing with. He pays and leaves with a simple gesture and a nod.

Tav is extremely dreary, Jilvy hadn’t interfered at first, keeping a watchful eye while she focussed on other chores. ‘’Tav, dear. If you need a break-’’

He withholds a sob. ‘’I’m fine. I want to finish this batch.’’ Then interrupts her, standing his ground. Jilvy sighs. She can boss him around, but it probably won’t help him much here. Then, Jilvy notices Astarion’s staring and just shrugs. He just shrugs back.

The tavern’s energy shifts again as some new folks drop inside for a late evening drink, and everyone forgets about the unfortunate rejection from earlier. Even Astarion’s undead, yet living lungs, release a sigh of relief that the tension has faded. It was so uncomfortable.

Slowly, the numbers of present patrons decrease. Once more, it’s quiet.

Tav walks away from his usual spot to clean up some of the tavern floor, as he paces near Astarion, he finally speaks up. ‘’Darling, I would love for a refill of this one.’’ He points to his cup with an extended finger, tapping it with his nail. A gentle cling sound echoes.

While he refills the cup, his hands tremble, so he stops before he can spill. ‘’..Sorry, I’m a little tired.’’ He managed to get the last bit of boiled water in the cup after taking a breath.

‘’It’s alright.’’

‘’You probably want to ask what that was all about.. There’s this, uh.. Gut feeling.’’

‘’Well, I certainly love prying and sharing gossip, but I don’t think you want me to ask.. Unless?’’ 

‘’Hmmh.’’

‘’Really, dear. You don’t have to share. I am curious to know what's on your mind, though.’’ Astarion, as Morlock, speaks in a gentle tone, his eyes softened.

Tav looks back at the active workload, determining if now is a good time to take a break.. Jilvy looks up and gives him a reassuring smile. Tav sighs with some relief and sits down in the chair in front of ‘’Morlock.’’

‘’I’ve been hurt really badly.’’ Tav opens up. ‘’I can’t say how, where, or why.’’ Vague wording, certainly secretive. Perhaps he’s hiding from everyone after all. Or is he simply wording it that way to keep it private?

‘’..And.. I’m empty.’’ He raises a hand, before clutching it towards his chest, atop his heart. ‘’I don’t know why I’m still here sometimes.. I’m sorry if that’s- Dark, I.. Sorry. You’re just so easy to talk to. I feel like I know you.. But I don’t, right?’’

‘’Don’t apologise. It’s alright.’’ Astarion hesitates, not sure if he should interrupt his venting. What’s there to say? To ask? Think.. You’re better at conversation than this.

‘’It sounds like Bouke did hit a nail on the head, heartbreak, I take it? Don’t hold back, Complain, insult, or vent as much as you’d like.’’

‘’Insult..?’’ Tav stammers. ‘’I’ve nothing bad to say about anyone.’’ He pauses. ‘’Well, perhaps that stoic guy from earlier today.. He.. Yeah.’’ He grins for a bit, lightening up. ‘’You’re really light fingered. I would love to see you do that again without Jilvy noticing.’’ He whispers. 

Astarion smirks, showing some teeth in his wicked smile. ‘’Maybe I just might, if another bad-tempered fool comes along.’’ He winks. ‘’But, then I won’t have enough time for this.. Novel.’’ He eyes the book again. It did have some interesting premise, but the plot.. Dragged on. There was too much thinking and too little happening in the start of it. How frustrating.

‘’Bit of a headache, to be honest.’’

‘’Ah.. I’ve been having nothing but headache since I’ve come to Neverwinter.’’ Oh, Tav is dropping details now? ..No, calm down. Don’t push. Be casual.

‘’I’ve come here mostly looking for work, and ways to pass time. The book club isn’t really my thing, I admit. But you ought to try new things sometimes.. I have too much time on my hands, and yet so little fits in a single day.’’ Astarion pauses, ‘’I’m running from one thing to the next. It’s.. Eh, chaotic. But necessary. What’s life without chaos? Plain. Tasteless.’’

‘’Tasteless..’’ Tav whispers, repeating him. ‘’In my.. Experience, chaos makes it hard to focus on taste. There’s too much of it, and you lose track of the little things.’’ He fidgets with his hands. ‘’..Do you ever stop running?’’

Astarion thinks, realising Tav is being indirect with his phrasing. They’re not talking about particulars. They’re expressing feelings. Tav is seeking words for whatever he’s feeling. Relating, but not saying how or why.

‘’I’m not sure if I’ve ever stopped running. There’s always someplace to run to, or from.’’ He responds. Truthfully, that’s how he felt himself.. Vampire ascendant, vampire lord. No longer a slave, but he’s running away from his ongoing plans and running to Tav, scheming.

Tav looks lost in thought, his eyes on the ceiling. He’s distracted by a spider weaving a web somewhere.. Then..

‘’It’s.. So much, and so little at once.’’ He whispers. ‘’But this tavern.. It brings me some peace.’’ He closes his eyes and releases a sigh. ‘’Don’t let me keep you.’’ Stands, and goes back to finishing up his cleaning work. He looks relieved and peaceful, which sets Astarion at ease. Too much stimulation for one day..

The queue for closing hour is there.. Astarion wraps up drinking his tea and leaves for the night, heading back to the building he was renting.

He may have gentle caress for Tav, patience, and obsessive love.. But anyone else is in the way. He is but a man of desire, but he was also a vampire.

And vampires are all about fulfilling desires.

At the first sight of his spawn, who eagerly await an update on the romance drama.. He stands firm while Morlock’s visage disappears and his white curls shine in the fresh moonlight. Next, he grins.

‘’Tyselius, Vandelion. There’s someone I need you to get rid off. Just a little side-character, nothing big. Make him disappear, an accident. Snack on the cattle too, if you wish. Just don’t leave a stain to be found.’’

Precious and annoying little pretty Bouke was never seen again.

—

Tara never took a liking to inns before, but she is relishing in this one.. It seems someone was suddenly opposed to going back home to Waterdeep. The tressym loved the idea of vacation, but travel..? Sometimes, yes. Now.. There’s Neverwinter.. And snow everywhere-

Tara would’ve preferred it warm. Yet, these silks and the fireplace.. It's enough. She can sleep, read, eat, and sleep.. And read.. And nap, and get all the scritches she wants. And not think about anything else now that Gale doesn’t have a bomb in his chest.

‘’Gale, dear.. Stop shifting around.’’

‘’I’m trying to go through my notes, Tara. It’s important.’’ Gale replies with an awkward smile.

‘’Okay.. You’ve been in a mood after your last search. No sign of Dharma, I take it?’’

‘’Concerningly little, which I would’ve preferred.. If she wasn’t a problem.’’ Gale sighs, putting his notes away. ‘’Putting the pieces together, and the people I’ve interviewed.. I think someone may have kidnapped her. But the question… Is who?’’

‘’There’s always something they leave behind. You’ll figure it out. You’re a smart boy.’’ Tara purrs, then her eyes shift. ‘’If only you’d shave-’’

‘’AHA-’’ Gale interrupts Tara’s complaint about his beard and pulls up a drawing from his pile. 

‘’Eureka! It’s.. A doodle. Drawn by a child.’’ Tara rolls her eyes. ‘’Care to explain what I’m missing?’’

‘’It’s not a doodle, it’s a symbol, one left behind by psionic magic. Just poorly transcribed and scribbled by the witness.’’

‘’Psionic..? Doesn’t your friend Tav have psionic abilities?’’ 

‘’Yes, but the source.. Is Illithid. We might be dealing with mind flayers.’’

‘’Why would mind flayers kidnap your deranged student..?’’ Tara licks her paw.

Gale thinks for a moment, biting on the metallic part of his quill. ‘’Hmm, I’ve theorised for a while, but I think Tav might have been leaving some sort of trace, like.. An unconscious signal. One that attracts Illithids and blocks out others. He might be mistaken for a rogue or a lost hivemind member.’’

‘’And why would they grab Dharma if they want Tav?’’

‘’To question her maybe..? Huh.. I think it’s time I ask a professional on the matter.’’ Gale rises from his comfortable sitting position, forcing Tara to jump off with an annoyed huff.

‘’Now where did I leave my sending scrolls..? By Mystra’s watchful eye, This place is starting to look like my tower..’’ 

‘’Careful, don’t put Mystra’s name in your mouth, Gale. She might bat an eye.’’

‘’Oh trust me, I made sure she’d leave me be, I am a thriving single man!’’ Gale puts his hands to his hips while he leans over a crowded desk.

‘’So you say..’’ Tara mumbles, ‘’I still would love some grand-kittens.’’

‘’Oof, and here I was thinking you were proud of me choosing myself. That hurt, Tara.. Ah, there it is!’’ Gale rolls open a scroll, before he puts the quill to the paper itself, he thinks of direct words without wasting the spell..

Hopefully his dear friend, foe of Vlaakith and great warrior, Lae’zel herself, was eager for a little trip to Neverwinter.

[nostalgicamerica]

My Weight-Loss Journey

Over the last three decades, despite a relatively active lifestyle, my weight has steadily increased a pound or two per year. I could see it was becoming a problem every morning in my foggy bathroom mirror.

I finally realized that I had to do something about it last fall when I walked out onto my porch one morning. The neighbor's kitten came over to say good morning and got caught up in my gravitational field and went into orbit around my waistline.

It was then I started looking into different diets. Keto, Caveman, high fat, low carb, lima bean, Atkins. Holy crap! The number of different diet choices were staggering. Greater still were the numbers of dieticians and nutritionists shrieking that this diet is best and only a booger-eater would choose that diet.

After a bit of cogitation, I started researching the Carnivore diet.

It sounded right up my alley: eating nothing but meat, cheese, eggs, and dairy products, and drinking water. And I could eat bacon. Basically, I could eat anything that is animal-based.

The bacon thing sold it for me.

The week before Thanksgiving 2023 I started my new diet plan. You might think that dieting during the holidays wasn't a grand idea, and you'd be right. Eating nothing but meat while watching my family chowing down on traditional holiday meals (turkey and all the fixings for Thanksgiving, and ham and all the fixings for Christmas) and stuffing their faces with cookies and candy and pie and everything else associated with the holidays was as much fun as stuffing a cactus up my rectum.

But I stuck to it.

To this point in my life I had never been disciplined about anything related to food, but somewhere along the way I found the strength to keep anything not indicated by the diet out of my pie hole. (except coffee - I'll be cold, dead, and buried before I stop drinking coffee.)

And the weight came off. 3,4,5 pounds a week. It seemed to literally melting off me. My initial goal was 50 pounds by the end of February and then I'd transition to something more sustainable.

It wasn't easy, at times, especially during the first 2 or 3 weeks. I bought some bite-size sugar free candy to take the edge off for the times when I was jonesing for sugar. And I ate a ton of bacon.

By Christmas Eve I had lost 20.5 pounds. By January's close I had dropped 34 pounds. On January 8th, 2024 I got out of the shower and looked down and saw my penis without a mirror for the first time since about 2003. Also, I could see a six-pack peeking from behind what remains of my belly fat. As of this writing I'm down 39 Pounds. I have a few more days to go, but I don't think I will hit 50. But that's okay.

On March 1st I will start introducing fruits and veggies and whole grains to my diet. I intend to stay away from cane sugar and continue drinking only water.

There have been some negatives along the way. 1. I now abhor the sight of steak. 2. My dog won't stop licking my legs. 3. I have had to go out and buy essentially a new wardrobe.

What I've learned - coupled with portion control - is that 90% of weight loss happens in the kitchen, and the plain fact that bacon makes everything better.

Even though I didn't meet my first goal of 50, I intend to keep going until I've met my ultimate goal of 60. I know I can do it by the end of this year.

I don't know if this will work for everyone; I only relate what I did and what happened. Overall I feel great, I am sleeping great, and my spousal unit says I look better than I have since the beginning of the Clinton administration, although she wants to buy a new car so she may be playing me...

There is enough info about the carnivore diet on the interweb-thingee so I won't add anything else except to say if I can do it, anyone can.