#that was always the one part of superwholock i could never get into like i WATCHED it but it had ZERO impact on me

[nexus-nebulae]

ur teen fandoms will always find a way to haunt you throughout the rest of adulthood i swear. every time i log into steam i get reminded that my original username on that site was a variation on "emrys and his king"

[misscammiedawn]

One little thing that always warms my jaded heart in the topic of kink communities is how responsibly we tend to play with pop culture.

One of my vivid memories within the hypnokink community was in 2014-2015 when Jessica Jones was being adapted for Netflix and David Tennant had been cast for Killgrave.

Communities began discussions in earnest with a tone of legitimate worry that we would start attracting a younger crowd of people who saw scenes from the comics adapted and seek hypnokink with the same misguided zeal that the BDSM community had seen years prior when 50 Shades came out.

It's easy to look at the show as it came out and think that was an overreaction but Superwholock was still very much a thing back then and though the show as released was good at depicting Killgrave's abilities as gross and an extreme violation Bagley's art in the comics was fairly...

Well:

So we didn't know what to expect and we opted to take the lessons learned from the 50 Shades influx in BDSM and apply it in advance. We created how to guides for beginners, educated on the lines between healthy expectations and danger and tried our hardest to ensure that anyone who came looking would find a wholesome and welcoming environment of people who enjoyed the fantasy of mind control and the very real allure of hypnosis.

Every time I see drama in the community I remember that period of time and get a warm feeling.

Another thing that just delights me is the way we talk behind closed doors about pop culture figures who are likely into our kink based on the coded way they communicate, the things they reblog or the shirts they wear that can only be obtained from a specific website that is 100% Just For This Kink (plausible deniability says it could be ironic/aesthetic though).

We NEVER out them in public but we kind of chat in walled gardens about how We Know What You Are and it's pretty much official policy to never be a dick about it, especially as they could easily be among us at any given time (and if they are then it's none of our business but they're welcome and we're sorry we live in a society that prevents you from joining us in earnest).

Albeit if there is a shitty celebrity who makes us look bad we may disown them within our circles, whether they be a newspaper cartoonist with rancid political views who is open about his kink or a Hollywood sex pest who includes mind control tropes/themes in all his work.

I always wonder if other communities have that same culture. I have no desire to get involved in it or find out who is the "pop culture figures most likely to be Into This" lists because that's kind of gross and invasive. But it's a part of this whole kink life thing that I feel is just so normal that it must be true of other circles.

Anyway. This is merely a ramble to say I adore how communities tend to be fairly pleasant and welcoming spaces in most regards and we are fully aware that we are a parallel universe from polite society but the way polite society is reflects what exists within our circles and we do our best to have a polite and positive rapport with it.

It's such a bright and positive thing. At least in my opinion.

[harukamitsuki]

i really resonate with your opinions about lance and the fandom surrounding him, but you really kill it any time you say some shit like "i wonder if people would treat him the same if he was white"

they 100% would. this is tumblr, bro. most blorbos are white. just look at the previous main three shows, superwholock. lance being cuban has nothing to do with him being treated the way fandom treats him. he is just, like you said, an everyday man who's easy to project on.

another critique i personally have of voltron is that while everyone's skin tone and background is varied, they all have always felt white to me. they have no cultural identity in the show. was hunk's samoan background ever even named or did we just get that from a book or a tweet? i feel like viewers shouldn't have to use outside material to complete the story in front of them.

the fact that we never got that in the actual writing of the show really pissed me off. and this is as someone who's latino. lance has always felt incredibly white to me because the writers spent no fucking time adding any cultural elements into is character. even if he was a no sabo kid incredibly distant from his culture due to growing up at a boarding school, that would still be something. idk if we ever got anything about him being cuban in the show.

part of the writer's inability to write complex characters is also their inability to write poc.

i think this is also why lance works as an everyday man.

my point is that lance would still be very loved if he was white. he's not getting any extra love bc he's cuban. honestly, i feel like his cuban identity just means fanfic writers get to use google translate for shitty spanish lines that make no sense for the story and to occasionally fetishize him. they put no actual effort into understanding his cuban background. and why would they? the writers of voltron never bothered to.

Yeah, no, I get that. Lance is very white, but because his skin isn't and he's canonically Cuban, people tend to forget that? Luz from the Owl House is 100% latina and it feels like she is. Because she speaks spanish and her mother speaks spanish to her. It doesn't have to be in-your-face, but it would have been nice to hear the POC characters mumble their home language under their breaths, or to speak idioms the other don't know because it's not a universal thing.

For example, everyone knows 'don't bite off more than you can chew', but it's 'the one that embrace a lot, cannot keep it together'. They mean the same thing, but it would have been nice for Lance to just come out with that and everyone is confused until he explains.

Or Hunk calling his parents 'tina' and 'tama', meaning mom and dad respectively. It would have been nice if he made dishes inspired by Samoan culture, such as koko alaisa, or something.

If there was just one scene where one of them struggled to find a word in English, I would have been a lot more convinced that they're POC. Just one scene where someone is all 'oh, what was the word. you know? that thing! the thing, you know!'. Just one short scene.

Or, like, a culture clash? As in, they compare something on an alien planet with something common in their homeland and the others are just like 'what? That isn't normal.' And it just delves into a conversation about what is normal in the US but weird in their home countries.

There's just so much that Voltron could have done, but it doesn't which is a massive shame.

[coraniaid]

Self indulgently, supernatural dashboard osmosis?

The main thing I know about Supernatural is that if I ever complain about something I don't like about the writing on Buffy, and it gets more than about twenty notes, there is a good chance that one of those notes will be somebody saying "oh, yeah, Supernatural also does this, but much worse".  Despite the criticism, this person will almost always be a fan of Supernatural, probably to the extent that their tumblr is about nothing else.

More generally, the relationship between tumblr and Supernatural is (I am led to believe) analogous to the relationship between tvtropes and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is difficult to imagine one existing without the other. (I have, unfortunately, watched several episodes of BBC Sherlock and I actually quite like what I've seen of Doctor Who, but the impression I get is that -- for better or worse -- the 'Super' part of Superwholock has had a much longer lasting impact on this site's culture.)

As for the actual plot:

Sam and Dean are brothers and they hunt monsters because ... uh.  I think it's a family business of some sort? Their father also used to hunt monsters, but I don't think he's around anymore. The show starts out as a Buffy/X-files-style monster of the week deal, but the show keeps escalating its threats and is never canceled, so by about halfway the 'monsters of the week' are Biblical archangels or Lucifer and the actual Big Bads are ... God, I guess?  The Demiurge?  Something more powerful than that? The world ends at least once.  (This might just be a Heroes-style Bad Future, but Sam and Dean definitely spend some time on the wrong side of an apocalypse.)

The show's writers are very sure that both Sam and Dean are straight.  Nobody who has actually watched the show agrees.  The few characters on the show that the writers admit are gay do not live for long.  

One of the brothers dies and goes to hell but he gets better.

At some point in the show's history, probably after one of them has been to hell, they adopt(?) a child called Jack who is basically the antichrist. He grows up  to be a moody teenager (like Connor from Angel).  Then he dies and everyone is mad about it.

Misha Collins plays an angel called Castiel who falls in love with one of the brothers at some point; I don't know for sure which but I think it's Dean.  (The actor who plays I-think-he's-Dean is Jensen something but I'd have to google to be sure of a last name.)  At least 50% of Supernatural fan discourse is about Castiel; people seem to like him.

Presumably women also exist in the world of Supernatural, as well as all the ghosts and demons and Biblically-accurate angels, but I could not tell you the name of a female  character on this show if my life depended on it.

In November 2020, in the final(?) episode of the show, Misha Collins confesses his love to presumably-Dean and is immediately sent to (super)hell, the show having already established that going to ordinary hell is basically fine whenever it was that one of the brothers went there. As far as large parts of tumblr are concerned this is the most significant thing to have happened in world history that month.  This gives birth to the only Supernatural meme I 100% know is from Supernatural, the "I love you" / "[news of recent horrific event]" one.

The show was on the air for about twenty years.  At the end of it everyone in the cast was utterly sick of it and never wanted to see each other again. About a year later, they started filming a prequel, which everyone involved in the original show came back for except for probably-Dean, who famously reacted poorly to this on twitter. (Screenshots of this meltdown are, I think, the only time I have ever seen the actor's name.)

Test my dashboard osmosis ability.

[quietwingsinthesky]

Question: cringe culture is 100% dead, but I'm curious what you'd pick as your most embarrassing fandom, past or present? I know some people consider supernatural to be a guilty pleasure but honestly there's some other fandoms that I'm way more embarrassed to still like

Generally, I’m not really embarrassed about any of the stuff I’ve been into. If I liked it, clearly it brought me joy at the time and that’s what matters. You know, how would I be the person I am today if I didn’t play Undertale or even if I didn’t read every creepypasta I could get my hands on as a kid? That plus my memory problems means no cringe for me lol. But I guess I could talk about a few.

MLP was back when the show was still airing — I want to say 3rd or 4th season? — and I just dove into the fandom because ‘woah guys did you know that people write stories about the ponies? That there are infinite amount of stories to read?’ Which, you know, ups and downs, you got your Keepers of Discord but you’ve also got your Cupcakes. (Though, to be honest, the fact that I had a reading of Cupcakes bookmarked on my computer to listen to to help me fall asleep? probably explains uhm. Some Stuff About Me.) Honestly, wouldn’t trade my time with MLP for anything, and I still love the show and a lot of fanworks dearly. I rewatch Lullaby for a Princess every few weeks, I reread Something Sweet To Bite every Halloween, and when I can’t sleep, I still find myself going to ObabScribbler or TheLostNarrator’s YouTube channels to find fic readings to calm my brain down.

Dream SMP is… more complicated. Obviously, if you know anything about it, you know all the shit that came out. I won’t get into that here because that’s not really a part of my experience? Just sort of a gross thing that overshadows it all, even though I was out of the fandom before any of that stuff was known. I actually got into it to bond with my little sister, she loved that stuff, and damn it all, but I got unironically sucked in by just the fantastic work that came out of a fandom surrounding a minecraft roleplay server lol. They aren’t wrong about the art that got made for those YouTubers, it’s all stunningly good. And it’s how I found Sad-ist’s animations on YouTube. Still subscribed to them, their work is always beautiful to watch, the old Dream SMP stuff and the new stuff. And I liked bonding with my sister over the bonkers minecraft lore. The end of that hyperfixation was when Technoblade died. Got too real, all of a sudden, too close to home, and I peaced out hard. It was good, though, while I was there. I liked having something to talk to my sister about.

Uhhhh okay out of that downer ending let’s talk about Sherlock. Yes hi hello original superwholock-er here, despite only seeing the first two seasons of doctor who but IT COUNTS. I can’t even be mad at past me for liking Sherlock because I probably wouldn’t be as close to my friends as I am if we hadn’t all been watching s3-4 live. And dunking hard on s4. I was never a johnlock conspiracy person, so that helps. There was the time my friend read us outloud some Johnlock mpreg ass birth fanfic in math class. That was… an experience. I give this a “I can’t plug my phone in without being haunted by his voice”/10

And finally, back to serious town, Harry Potter. I don’t even have anything good to say here, really. The whole “mourning something important to my childhood” phase is long over, the damage continues to be done, and. And nothing. I just don’t want to see it anymore. It’s not shame or cringe, I guess, it’s more like… disappointment. Not at myself, because fuck it, dude, I was a kid, I knew everything there was to know about the books, I waited for the mail when I turned eleven, I wrote “Hogwarts is my Home” on the inside of my closet like a ward to keep me safe. The first thing I ever read about being trans was a damn Harry Potter fic, one of the first podfics I ever made, too, though I was too chicken to post it. So what’s left except disappointment, even the anger long gone because it just keeps happening. I just don’t want to see it anymore.

Anyway, uhhhhm. Hope that suffices as an answer lol, I rambled on way too long.

[oc-culture]

omg ok so my first ocs were manifestations of my music taste and my media interests. they knew they were just manifestations of a persons constantly shifting tastes and bc of this their personalities / appearances were also always changing but they were like, aware of and mostly ok with it. and they would refer to it in passing like "god remember when [my name] was into superwholock? i was so annoying back then!!!!" or whatever.

at the time i was big into portal/fnaf and mcr/fob/panic at the disco (i know. i know) so i characterized the interests one as like, hyper and a little dumb and abrasive and the music one as edgy and serious and understanding. they didnt like being referred to by names but when asked theyd say lyr (pronounced Leeyr, like Lyric) and fannie (like. fandom. ugh). neither one entirely understood why the other was the way they were beyond the surface level "this person is into X and this entity reflects that" so Lyr didnt understand why Fannie was all over he place and Fannie didnt get why Lyr was so doom and gloom all the time. also they had abilities based off of all of this too (Fannie had a portal gun and Lyr could play any instrument iirc)

over time i started to like. angst them. for some reason. Fannie was super terrified of losing herself whenever I moved onto the next interest bc she really enjoyed being the way she was and Lyr didnt know how she would handle it either but was less scared for herself bc when She absorbed new music it just like, became a part of her, but with Fannie it COMPLETELY changed them. Lyr had an arc about being depressed and finding happiness through not only music but also Fannie and her other friends. at some point Fannie died bc the Main Villain was the manifestation of my sadness and anger which was just this generic evil goop that could kind of become anything (and music/fandom was the main thing helping me thru that irl) and she had to sacrifice herself to save Lyr. and then at the funeral Lyr went outside and heard her singing nine in the afternoon and walking on the rooftop and it was never established if that was her ghost or a vision or what but it was a major plot point bc it was the Ending(TM). also i was 10 and my only form of social media was pinterest

- 💟🍓

What was your guy’s first OC?

[deaderthandoubledead]

Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by @missmacfire!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

Oh I was here during the whole SuperWhoLock phase, so of course I used to be obsessed with Destiel and Sherlock/Watson. I don't really care about any of those fandoms now (ok maybe except for the older seasons of Dr Who with 9th, 10th and 11th Doctor).

Which ship would you consider your first one?

Oh, damn, absolutely no idea lol. That was so long ago

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

Not sure about my first fanfic in general, but I absolutely do remember my first spicy fanfic. It was Jensen/Cougar from the 2010 The Losers movie

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

No chance, I have the memory of a goldfish :D

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse

Don't think so? I am of the old fandom rules - if you don't like it, ignore it/don't interact with it

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Hm, don't think so. I do have a few general rules like not liking underage ships and incest, but I don't think I had a specific NOTP....ok maybe I lied, I just remembered I never liked Thor/Loki just for the fact that they were brothers, even if not blood related

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Platonic? Sasha and Distortion Michael (TMA)

Romantic? Probably Steddy Hands (OFMD)

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Several

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Not really?

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

If there is I don't remember :D

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Putting myself on blast here, I really used to enjoy the Loveless anime as a teen. Nowadays the age gap between the characters would 100% be considered problematic (one is 12 and one is 20 dammit) and I do feel a bit weird whenever I remember it

What is your favourite crack ship?

Oh, I haven't heard this term in so long! I don't think I really have anything that could be considered a "crack ship" nowadays, but I did have quite a few as a teen. Mostly anime ones. Can't really remember any now tho

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Hm, I was usually more into the art side of the fandom than the writing part (mostly because my English back then wasn't the greatest and fanfics in my native language used to not be very good). But I do think I read a lot of Naruto fics. Can't remember if any ships in particular tho

What do most of your ships have in common?

Well, most of them are mlm. I have very few straight or lesbian ships. I guess that's because a lot of straight ships are just horribly written.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

When one of the partners doesn't take the needs of the other into consideration or ignores them completely, when one of the partners is always the big strong protector and the other is always the helpless damsel in distress even though canon makes it clear both are just as capable as the other, dubious or no consent (doesn't need to be strictly sexual)...

I won't tag anyone because I don't like potentially annoying people (and also I don't actually really know most of the blogs I follow), so if you'd like to join in, feel free!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 153

The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon

“The Impossible Astronaut”/“Day of the Moon”

Plot Description: The Doctor is summoned to assist President Nixon in saving a terrified little girl/The Doctor fights an alien invasion dating back to the beginnings of human civilization

Why IS it that Amy and Rory are just like…part time companions? Is it their relationship? Is it the fact that Rory has a steady job? (He’s not in retail, he’s not a temp, and he’s not a student, so he can’t just go off whenever…even though time travel is definitely half the premise of the show) Amy gets a steady job later but not yet.

They just hitched a ride on a school bus?? Seems unlikely

Was that the first Silence we see?

Okay, one, since when do the Doctor’s friends ever do as they’re told? Every time they’re told to stay put, they’re always running about…Two, they’re putting a lot of strain on my suspension of disbelief. Because I know a younger version of the Doctor meets up with them later in the episode, SOON in fact, but you’d think a time lord’s death wouldn’t be something that could be rewritten. Yet we know he gets at least four more regenerations (12, 13, back to Tenant, 14). Like, unless you had some really extenuating circumstances, like magic (like how Lucy brought back the Master), it shouldn’t work like that.

Mark Sheppard always plays the BITCHIEST characters and I love that for him. Nixon tells his character he was the second pick for the job he’s asking him to do, and Mark tells him he was his second choice for president (I hope Crowley comes back to spn soon)

The Doctor is definitely the kind of guy who would say shit like “I’m the only one who knows and understands all the quirks of my car and can make it function at all” meanwhile he’s just adapted to all the things going wrong MEANWHILE River can and will fix shit behind his back

I do love that he’s always trying to get his hats back

Mmmmm, is this the first hint we get to Amy’s pregnancy, too??

People die in the silliest, most dramatic poses on this show

If Sherlock’s fourth season hadn’t been a disaster and the show itself had lasted any longer, they could have used this episode to loop Hamilton into the superwholock fandom and then where would we be? Like as a society? Apparently two of these three men fancied the Doctor: John Adams, Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson. Maybe we aren’t in the DARKEST timeline

Rory. How are you asking if this is sensible?? Do you know who you’re traveling with? Like, right now you’re exploring some underground tunnels with the woman who loves the universe’s most ridiculous man, and you have the nerve to ask if this is sensible??

It’s sad to hear River talk about the day she knows will come when she’ll see the Doctor and he won’t know who she is. She doesn’t yet know that’s the last time she’ll see him, but she does fear it will kill her. And I don’t know if she means just emotionally devastate her or ACTUALLY kill. We know what will happen, but fuck. Yet we never see or hear the Doctor talk about her with anything close to what she feels even though we know he’s been through her last time with him

Man… that cliffhanger (Amy shooting at the little girl in the astronaut uniform) would have been killer if I didn’t know too much slash wasn’t about to watch part two right now

(I paused too often last ep so hopefully I can just do a no whammys run)

Oh good, they don’t pick up where we left off. We pick up THREE MONTHS LATER

The TARDIS crew is on the run, trying to do ANYTHING about the Silence and on the run from Canton(/Mark/Crowley)

Rory’s so gangly and rubbery when he runs.

Ok sure they were all working together with Canton, but…why’d they let it go on for THREE MONTHS??

What’s Moffat’s fixation on not looking at things? He created the Weeping Angels and the Silence, both of which have distinct advantages when you’re not looking at them

You know, after watching Sam and Dean flash their fake FBI badges so many times, I did become suspicious of Canton (an ACTUAL FBI agent) showing his, even if under…less than official purposes. Just because it’s Mark? And he’s always gonna be Crowley to me? Maybe

This children’s home is…so disturbing. I can’t believe I’m gonna watch this and then try to go to sleep

Sometimes I don’t think we appreciate the tremendous effort it takes to send people to space. But seeing the full shuttle vs size of the command module for Apollo 11 really puts it in perspective

I never liked the plot line with the whoever kidnapped Amy while she’s pregnant.

I mean…it’s accurate and deserved that Canton shoots the one Silence after it tells him they rule the Earth and have no need for weapons, and then he goes “yeah well, welcome to America” but like…….

I can’t remember when Amy actually gets TAKEN taken. Because we’ve already had an appearance of the lady with the eyepatch but I’m not sure

Amazing how he’s seen … omg, no. I just confused the Doctor with Castiel. No saying the Doctor WASNT there when the Tower of Babel was being built, though. He probably was. I’m just saying humans have been trying to reach the heavens for thousands of years (even if we’re taking that story as allegory, it was still originally written THOUSANDS of years ago), we didn’t JUST decide in 1969 to go to the moon because the Silence influenced us to

Good on Canton adapting so quickly to future technology

How do they keep prolonging the “does Amy love Rory or the Doctor?” past Amy’s Choice, past Rory being the Last Centurion, past them getting MARRIED??

River should not have been able to shoot the Silence behind her……..

God…Rory’s constant jealousy and suspicion IS pretty annoying but if you waited 2000 years for someone whose writer makes them deliberately vague about who they’re confessing their feelings to, it’s also understandable

[kittyisaddicted]

Back into the tumblr-verse

So, it's been a while since I've been on tumblr. Mainly, because I had no chance to watch SPN S15 when it came out and had to wait till it would be available in Germany—so, because I wanted to avoid spoilers, I will forever regret that I wasn't a part of Nov 5 of 2020.

tumblr has a special place in my heart. It is the place where I had the chance to find so many of my interests mirrored, but also where I learned so many new things: about feminism, oppression, misogyny, education, black lives matters and many more. It was the first place for me to both cherish all the desires in my brain from gay ships to hiatus deprivation, and explore perspectives and opinions of so many different people I could never have imagined.

In my head, tumblr will always be connected to SPN—that's where my heavy addiction to this site went down the rabbit hole. I can't remember which was first: Destiel gifs on my dash or me watching the show, but soon it was all one thing. I FELT Destiel before S4 even startet, and when Castiel spread his wings in the scene I alreda saw in so many posts, I swear, I shrieked. Loud.

I took the path deeper into the verse: reblogging every well made gif set, consuming every compilation on youtube, and crying my eyes out over Twist and Shout; following everyone of the cast on social media, taking the smallest bead crumb and living basically only for every bit of pleasure that I could find on this theme.

Addiction. That's what I call it now. I needed it then, it was a way to cope with certain things and imbalances in my life. It all helped me to escape in a sphere of joy and reassurances, from people I never met but who felt the same way as I did. At some point, it got better. Healthier. No more doom scrolling. I still was up to ongoing ship wars and stand bys, the inside jokes, and I loved every time when there actually WAS a Supernatural gif for that particular occasion. When the SuperWhoLock Fandoms united, when me made John Green find the thing or science tumblr explained really cool stuff.

Everytime I start a new show or fall in Love with a movie, I just KNOW that tumblr will have my back. That there are others who think just like me, who have the same addiction and find the same pleasure as I do in overhinking every bit and peace of it. To analyze reasons and relationships and actions, and to share it with others.

I couldn't have get over my feelings for Endgame without tumblr. I would never had watched Sherlock without JohnLock all over my Dash. And just know, as I have a similar situation in my life as back then when it all startet, tumblr is my only help with my newborn addiction for the absolute treasure that is Malec. Similar to Destiel, on the day THAT episode aired, their kiss was all my dash was showing. I didn't know the show (not airing in Germany then) nor the ship—but that scene was so intense, it stuck with me. For Years.

And as I needed SOMETHING last week, I remembered them, turned to YouTube, watched all Malec scenes, rewatched them, then watched them again. Then I read the first three books in three days. So now I'm back, here in the tumblr verse, ready for where ever it will lead me to this time. Because, I know it's an unhealthy addiction at the moment, but I will get over it, and there's no better place to help me through it.

[billiewena]

Heard we’re talkin’ SPN Pride Lore Stories for @spnprideweek so lemme tell y’all about how Sam Winchester played a fun part in my journey as Coming Out as Bisexual and (more recently) Nonbinary!

(Sidenote: if you haven’t already check out my thesis on “Why Every SPN Fan Should be a LGBT Sam Enthusiast” you should do that)

Anyways, storytime...

My journey with SPN is a weird one. I was what you’d call a “General Audience” viewer for most of the show. I started watching on-and-off around S2-S3 back when I was a preteen who watched anything the CW put in front of me (and I mean anything…Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, you name it.) But I did start getting more into and invested in SPN over time. I didn’t have internet but if I did I would’ve been a Samgirl for sure. Most of the episodes I do remember watching live were Sam-centric ones, i.e. “After School Special”. Once I got to college, I had internet and nerdy friends. Thanks to Netflix, Tumblr, and a Casgirl best friend who needed the emotional support (this was middle of S9 lol) I finally binged the show properly my freshman year.

I joke about how I’m Samcoded but I honestly always have seen a lot of myself in the character and their journey on the show. Just a couple years after After-School Special aired, I was on my way to college and completely leaving my family behind in the process. I craved independence and flourished with it, but also knew I was losing a lot by doing so. Like Sam, I got a chance to fix those relationships as an adult — but it was a struggle to be taken seriously and treated with respect.

Moving to the Midwest for school was the biggest risk I ever took (it was a part of the country I’d never even been near, a big city, and a completely different climate — at that point I’d only seen snow twice my life). But I’m glad I did it. I had to prove that I could and had to make a life of my own. Supporting myself and being surrounded by a diverse city of all races/sexualities/backgrounds, I was finally able to start educating myself and embrace who I was too.

In 2014 I came out as Pansexual. I was glad at the time to at least have a label even if it’d take a couple years before I got over my fear of the B-Word. But it was still a big step. I also started getting into cosplay and planned a few of them out (i.e. Rose from Doctor Who). In the middle of my first proper Supernatural AND SuperWhoLock phase, I naturally decided to cosplay Sam for the first time. I already had brown hair so I decided I’d just save money on a wig and just cut my hair short for the first time (Sam Season 10 short, for reference). And of course I loved it. It wasn’t a straight-up buzzcut but it was a lot more androgynous than I was before and I could easily make it feminine/masculine. In retrospect, I realized I totally got the Stereotypical Bisexual Bob too.  And I loved the idea of cosplaying a male character and Sam especially: I had the flannel, I had the floppy hair, it was fun!

I kept it short for years and dressed a mix of masculine/feminine/androgynous in college. After college, I had to let it grow it out (more for hair health reasons - I also dyed my hair a lot in college and it was FRIED). In general, I was dressing a lot more feminine - I was working in offices full-time and not in liberal art school anymore and had to dress a bit more proper, and missed dressing how I did in college.

Cut to the pandemic when I have a lot of time to think about what I like, what I want, who I am, etc. I only started coming out to people just the last couple months but getting to this point took some time. I research on trans/nonbinary/GNC identities for a couple years (at first under the guise of “writing research” but at some point it just became for me.) I’ve been been playing a nonbinary Shapeshifter in D&D for a nearly a year now to see how I feel about they/them pronouns (spoiler alert: I love ‘em.) Also during this time In I’m also rewatching/catching up on Supernatural so I can least watch the finale live. Literally the night before the finale my roommates to do some at-home haircuts and I think “why not?” and get the good ol’ Sam Floppy Hair haircut again for nostalgia’s sake (and my first undercut for good measure.)

I didn’t find out about Nonbinary and He/They Sam headcanons until after the finale when I properly rejoined the fandom during its peak chaos (I didn’t even start this sideblog until December.) But once I did, I was OBSESSED with them. An open-minded character who’s always used gender neutral pronouns with their relationships…it totally made sense for them to have that same flexibility with himself too. A lot of Sam’s journey has been about independence, autonomy and becoming their own person...I love the idea of both of us finding that sense of individuality in our gender neutrality, exploration, and presentation.

Happy Pride to all my fellow LGBT Sam fans, nonbinary individuals, and the entire SPN Family! 💛🤍💜🖤

[destieldailynews]

Meet the Staff!

Here at the DDN we have a lovely crew of hard working hellers devoted to getting you the facts when you need them. We’ve each written bios introducing ourselves which are located beneath the cut. If you’re interested in joining the team, here is a post about what we need.

A note: if you didn’t get a response to your application it is possible there was a typo in your blog url that kept us from reaching out. if you applied and would like to know the status of your application, go ahead and send a DM to @lateral-org.

Hi! I’m Lina, (she/her) and I write the news! I’m actually quite a new addition to the fandom, as I only got properly involved at the beginning of quarantine, but I am already invested enough to be reading a copious amount of fan fiction and writing an essay on the queer representation in the show. My favourite quote has to be “happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it,” and that is why I will never get over 15x18.

Hey! I’m T (@lateral-org), my pronouns are she/they and I’m the main editor for DDN. I used to be obsessed with SPN in 2015 but stopped watching regularly around season twelve. 15x18 sucked me back in, and now I’m invested not just in the show, but all of the stuff going on behind the scenes. I joined DDN because keeping up with #destielgate has basically just become a hobby of mine, and I wanted to make the details more accessible to anyone else who was interested. I’m a deangirl through and through, and my favorite quote is “I have no idea, but what I do have is a GED and a give ‘em hell attitude. I’ll figure it out.” 

Howdy! I’m Jas (@you-changedmedean), she/her, and I’m a researcher/editor for DDN, plus doing a bit of blog maintenance. I’ve been casually around the fandom since high school but in 2018 is when I got emotionally involved. I’m currently in college and I began my Tumblr only this year. I’ve already received so much support from everyone in the fandom and it’s been the craziest ride. Even if S/P/N is over, there’s still so much to uncover from the last season. With future conventions on the way as well as actors speaking up more, DDN will be able to provide relevant and accurate information to the fandom in a timely manner. Favorite character is Castiel and if my username (you-changedmedean) can tell you anything, it’s also my favorite quote. 

Hi! I'm Amber, she/her, (@my-people-skillls-are-rusty) and I am a researcher/editor for DDN. I've been in the fandom since around 2015 but got a lot more active in the last couple of years. I don't really know why I joined DDN, I just had a lot of free time and was very invested in the fandom, so might as well have it directed somewhere. My favourite character is either Dean or Castiel, I can't choose between them.  I also don't have a favourite quote as there are so many to choose from, but as its my user name I will go with 'my "people skills" are "rusty"'

Hey! I’m Ally, she/her (@larandomfangirl) and I am a researcher/writer/editor for DDN. I started watching Supernatural back when I was in 8th grade in 2017, and have remained caught up and active in the fandom since then. I joined DDN because 15x18, and everything that has happened since then, made me even more invested in the show and I wanted to help spread factual information about whatever occurs next. My favorite character is either Sam or Cas (I blame being a younger sibling for that), and one of my favorite quotes is “happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

Hi! I am Saffa (she/her) (@castiel-holmeshasthephonebox), and I am one of the writers on DDN! I was introduced to Supernatural by tumblr only a year ago, and since then I have been completely hooked. First, I fell in love with Dean and then I fell in love with the creative side of the fandom, all the fics and edits, and I just tumbled deeper down the destiel hell-hole. My favourite quote is "I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did all of it for you."

Hey! I’m El (they/them)  (@desperately-human) I am one of the writer/editors here at DDN. I only started paying attention to Supernatural this fall (november 5, really) but since then, having every update on #destielgate has been my main hobby. Almost everything I know I have absorbed through memes, liveblogs, and those amvs on youtube. I’ve never actually seen an episode all the way through. That said, upon reflection i believe I am a Cas girl gender neutral term. Cliche but intense, I like “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” 

Hello! My name is Liz (@bart-ska-mpson) and I am a researcher/writer. Got into SPN in 2014-ish because of superwholock tumblr peer pressure, and whattaknow, it became my favorite of all of them, mainly because of the sheer power of Destiel! I read meta like the morning newspaper back then. I became frustrated by the end of s10 and by the time Lucifer possessed the president I just could not take it anymore (if only I kept watching til Lily Sunder :’(...). But really I never totally lost faith in canon Destiel and  words cannot describe the feeling I had when I heard through Tumblr that it finally happened. I’ve been so obsessed with trying to figure out what's “really happening” so I figured I might as well help out here. My favorite quote is the whole conversation Dean and Cas have when he finds him in Purgatory. “I prayed to you Cas, every night!” “I know” </33333

Hi! I'm Kat (@team-free-memes), she/her, and I'm a researcher and editor here at the DDN. I was internet-pressured into watching the show after seeing so many posts about it online. I've been in the fandom for over a year. I joined the DDN because I've always been an avid Destiel shipper and season 16 has gripped me tight and raised me from sanity, so I want to help clear things up for other fans lost in the sea of conspiracy theories to ensure that the truth circulates. I can't choose between Cas and Jack for the title of my favorite character, but in any case I am definitely Dean coded. My favorite quote is, "Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It's just people trying to do their best in a world where it's far too easy to do your worst."

Hey! My name is Lana (@curvedsphere), she/they, and I’m a part of the research, editing, and blog teams at DDN. I started watching the show when season 11 was airing, but didn’t get into fandom until early season 13, where I fell hard and fast into this community and have been here ever since! It’s also when I started actively and avidly shipping Destiel (I was just a casual shipper before then). I joined the DDN because I’m so truly invested in season 16 - in finding/figuring out as much of the truth as possible about the finale and the rest of season 15. My favourite character is probably Cas, but I love all of TFW 2.0 and Wayward a lot. I have so many favourite quotes that I love, but not-surprisingly I think I have to go with either “Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being”, or “for love”.

Hi! I’m Steph (@stephlovessubway), she/her and I’m a researcher at DDN. I started watching the show in 2007 (on YouTube no less) and then watching live with season 4 in 2008. I have seen the highs (season 4 and season 5) and the lows (season 7) on Tumblr, and took a break for a few years and started back with season 10. I rewatched all the series in the first UK lockdown and managed to witness the wild end of season 15. I’ve shipped destiel from the beginning, mainly because Cas is my favourite character, and have thoroughly enjoyed season 16 on Tumblr. My favourite quote is Cas’s monologue at the beginning of The Man Who Would Be King.

[charmedseoull]

The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview

Before You Read the Interview

I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.

She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.

Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.

Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.

Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:

When did you first join fandom culture?

I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]

What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?

I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.

What do you like about fandoms?

 What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.

What do you dislike about fandoms?

I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.

How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been? 

I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!

Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?

 I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.

When did you first start reading fanfiction? 

I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.

What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?

 We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.

As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?

Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.

As a reader, how do you view authors?

I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.

Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?

No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative. 

Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?

When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.

What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works? 

I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!

How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health? 

An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.

How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work? 

This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.

Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps. 

At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it. 

Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?

Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.

How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?

Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.

At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.

Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?

When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that.  Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.

Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work? 

I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.

As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally? 

I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!

(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)

In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.

Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.

There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.

It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.

Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?

I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.

Do you consider writing an art form?

  I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.

Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?

I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.

Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?

I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.

How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?

How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?

My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run. 

My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.

What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?

The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.

Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?

I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.

What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?

 A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.  

What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?

If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.

Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?

I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.

Why do you think authors write dark themes?

 Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content. 

Why do you think readers read dark themes?

Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified. 

Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?

 People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.

Do you think a work’s popularity is important?

I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.  

Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?

Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.

How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work? 

For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of. 

What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?

This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally. 

Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?

 I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish. 

For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that! 

For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.

Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.

This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden. 

Due to the casual nature of this interview, repost of this interview is strictly prohibited. Linking and sharing is appreciated. Translation and unauthorized repost of this interview is forbidden.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

[mycatshuman]

I Against Me

Past Platonic Anxciet

Warnings: angst, just a whole lot of angst.

Didn't proof read so here you go.

"Tell me why you're holding me back

Tryna push me off the right track

And I'm wishing so bad you would leave me alone

Why you're blurring out my vision

So I'd go make the wrong decision

But I know that you'll never be gone"

---------

Virgil and Janus used to be good friends. Really good friends. The kind of friends who would do anything for each other. But their friendship grew to be unhealthy. Toxic even. And when Janus "Self-Care" Sanders asked Virgil if he could find any reason why they should continue to be friends, Virgil realized, then more than ever, that he had to let go. He loved Janus. He was one of the best friends he had ever had. And in the words of Brendon Urie: "If you love me let me go-" Virgil let Janus go. 

That didn't make it hurt any less. 

---------

"I'm blaming you that I've been cruel and mean to all my friends

Cuz I've become so rude and now another friendship ends

But now I started seeing clearer

I saw your face up in the mirror

Yes I'm the one to blame"

--------

Virgil shattered. 

He knew it was his fault. Who else could have caused this. Janus was big on self-care. If he had issues, he went to see a therapist, but Virgil,  oh Virgil, he wouldn't. Dare he say he couldn't? Therapy cost money, money that he couldn't really spare. 

But he could have done better. He could have listened to Janus when he told him to get help. But he didn't. Why exactly, he didn't know. Stubborn? Lazy? Most likely. But he did try to keep his problems from Janus. Keep them tight to his chest. He couldn't burden others with his issues. He should have known better. 

--------

"That's why I bang my head against the wall

Cuz I don't like myself at all

Wish that I could cut all the ties

And now my life is such a tragedy

Cuz I'm my biggest enemy

I can't look myself in the eyes

It's I against me

I against me

I against me

(I, Me... I)"

---------------

Virgil isolated himself. He thought it would help. He really did. It only succeeded in making himself feel lonely. So lonely that he didn't feel like he could ever reach out. He didn't feel like he could bring up events in his life. From time to time he did, on things he didn't feel alone in dealing with, but when he felt truly and utterly alone, he didn't reach out. He couldn't reach out. That eventually led to possibly one of the biggest mistakes in his life. 

---------------

"I'm hurting everyone around me

And I'm regretting it profoundly

But I finally see that the reason is you

Another day another struggle

Because I'm always causing trouble

And I hate what you're making me do"

----------

Janus did not see their relationship as healthy. Virgil couldn't think of any reason for them to be friends other than he wanted to and he felt less lonely when talking to Janus. Even when he isolated himself, talking to Janus sometimes made him forget. But Virgil knew he was just being selfish. He was stifling Janus. Janus deserved a much better friend than Virgil could ever be. 

And when Janus got cold feet, Virgil took over and let go. Better he deal with all the guilt than his friend. Ex-friend. 

Self-loathing wasn't far behind. 

----------

"I'm blaming you that I've been cruel and mean to all my friends

Cuz I've become so rude and now another friendship ends

But now I started seeing clearer

I saw your face up in the mirror

Yes I'm the one to blame"

-----------

Virgil had cried himself to sleep the night before, "to sleep on his thoughts" Janus had suggested, he ended up with a stuffy nose before finally falling asleep. He didn't think he would be able to cry anymore after it actually ended but he supposed things do always go the way you think they do. He didn't think he would be the one to actually leave. It was just one more thing for Vitgil to blame himself for. Maybe it wasn't exactly a healthy thing to do but, Virgil needed to realize the truth. This was his fault, no one else's. He was the one to make the friendship toxic. No one else but him. He was told to get help and he didn't.  His dad and stepmother were right, he didn't know how to change. 

-----------

"That's why I bang my head against the wall

Cuz I don't like myself at all

Wish that I could cut all the ties

And now my life is such a tragedy

Cuz I'm my biggest enemy

I can't look myself in the eyes

It's I against me"

--------------

Virgil had dealt with friendships end before. He really couldn't think of anyone he knew who had ever stayed his friend throughout his whole life. There were people who went and came back and then went again. There were people who were friends but more out of obligation like they were family or they had no else at the time and needed someone. Virgil had had a few friends throughout his lifetime but never really any best friends. At least not ones where it didn't seem one sided. He should have realized the ending of his friendship with Janus was going to hurt a whole lot more than the ones before. 

--------------

"Me against I

A torturous battle

A one-sided fight

I'm willing to lose if it means

That I win in the end

Now the war is on

As we both collide

I just hope I will survive"

-----------

Virgil sat in his room. He couldn't go to his mom or aunt. He couldn't let them know what happened. He could deal with this on his own. There wasn't a rule that dealing with something on one's own required them to actually be able to handle the crushing weight of emotions pushing him down into the ground. 

Movies sometimes depicted people talking to their siblings if they couldn't or didn't want to go to an adult when they were hurting. But his brother wouldn't understand and he couldn't trust him not to tell anyone. And his sister...well, he hadn't heard from her in a while. He wasn't sure why, if it was because she thought he had been in on it when their brother set up a group video call and added their mother or if it was because of the letter. 

He had said things about their mom in the letter, hoping to get the 4 year silence between them to end, but maybe it was what he had confessed at the end of the letter that had stopped their communication. Maybe it wasn't the right idea to come out as Bi in a letter but how else was he supposed to be certain only his sister would hear? 

Yes, Virgil was trying to distract himself from the events of earlier that morning by thinking of other things that upset him. Not healthy but it kept him from crying for the most part so he counted it as a win. Except nothing could ever seem like a win on that day. More like a consolation prize. Like, "Hey you woke up today! You get to breathe!" But eventually, he would have to let reality run him over. 

-----------

"That's why I bang my head against the wall

Cuz I don't like myself at all

Wish that I could cut all the ties

And now my life is such a tragedy

Cuz I'm my biggest enemy

I can't look myself in the eyes

It's I against me"

---------------

Virgil often wondered what was wrong with him. Why some things didn't seem to make him react the ways others did. He really wished someone would just tell him everything that was wrong with him and why so he could fix it all. Most of the time when he tried to fix things he had messed up with before, he only ended up making things worse. It happened when he lived with his dad and now he was living with his mom. 

He wanted to change. Really, he did. At least he thought so. But people were telling him he wasn't changing. And of course they had to be right. He really wasn't changing. He was just fooling himself into believing he was. And he had fooled other people into believing he was. His mom was right, he really was manipulative.  

---------------

"Bang my head against the wall

Cuz I don't like myself at all (Ohh)

Wish that I could cut all the ties (Ohh)

And now my life is such a tragedy (It's I Against Me)

Cuz I'm my biggest enemy (Ohh)

I can't look myself in the eyes (Ohh)

It's I against me"

------------------

Maybe, Virgil thought. Maybe I'm not supposed to have friends. I don't deserve them and they deserve better than me. Tears spilled fast and heavy from Virgil's eyes. Maybe I was just meant to be alone. 

------------------

"I against me

I against me"

---------------

Everything taglist: @spxced-oxt @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @@little-euro-girl @unicornofdarknessstuff @maryann-draws @odette-ssbu

[wafflewarriors]

Masterlist

Masterlist

(No NSFW Content)

Advice

Lovely Conversation: How to get to the climax of a story.

Top Fanfic Pet Peaves

Supernatural: A Collection of Summaries

Series

SuperWhoLock:

COMPLETE! Of Daydreams and Realities

It starts with nightmares and a bullet to the head. After waking up in Doctor Who, Supernatural, and Sherlock, you don’t think things can get any worse. Other than the fact that there’s a tear in the dimensions because of you, and it may or may not destroy all three universes. But you’re not going to let that happen. Not when you have two hunters, and angel, a detective, an army doctor, and an alien on your side.

Chapter 1: Fever Dreaming

Chapter 2: Black Mark

Chapter 3: KAZ 2Y5

Chapter 4: Insomnia

Chapter 5: The Truth

Chapter 6: Mind Palace

Chapter 7: Dimensional Tears

Chapter 8: Broken Glass

Chapter 9: A Real Doctor

Chapter 10: Figures

Chapter 11: Ugly Goodbyes

Chapter 12: Vengeful

Chapter 13: Second Chances

Supernatural:

COMPLETE! The Deal-breaker

“I want to take the pain of Sam and Dean Winchester.” Your hands were shaking. “All of it.”

Red eyes found yours. “Do you now?”

That was a rather large request.

“Yes,” you said, but there was fear in your voice.

“And why’s that?” the crossroad demon asked. “You wish to live a life of endless pain, and then once it’s all over, repeat it in Hell?”

“Yes.”

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

A Rewrite of History

Turns out, the Supernatural universe isn’t as forgiving as fans make it out to be, and you’re about to learn the hard way. Forced into the world of the Winchesters, you struggle to juggle the looming threats of the things that put you there, survive a large misunderstanding with the Winchesters, and find a way back home.

Chapter 1—Pilot

Chapter 2—Wendigo

Chapter 3—Dead in the Water (Part 1)

Chapter 4—Dead in the Water (Part 2)

Chapter 5—Phantom Traveler (Part 1)

Chapter 6—Phantom Traveler (Part 2)

Chapter 7—Bloody Mary

Doctor Who:

Sherlock:

Marvel:

…

One-shots/Imagines:

SuperWhoLock:

Supernatural:

Any Witch Way: Witches and Hunter didn’t mix. Ever. But as it turns out, the Winchesters need you, a witch, to help solve their case.

Sneaking Out to Hunt on Your Own (Request): You were sick of getting benched. You were a hunter, damn it, and losing some sleep to do your job wouldn’t hurt you. As long as the Winchesters didn’t find out.

Meeting Dean Winchester As Hostages: You’re captured and terrified, but a man by the name of Winchester is determined to get you out without a scratch.

Getting Caught in an Ambush with Dean Winchester: What could you say? It was supposed to be a one night stand. But here you were, hiding under the mattress while demons tied Dean Winchester to the bed.

Joke’s Over (Request):The Mark of Cain was really starting to screw with Dean’s temper. So you get a bit desperate… and you prank him. Yeah, probably not your best call.

Meeting the Winchesters in the Apocalypse: It’s been silent for a long time, besides a few pillagers now and then. Whom you were terrified of. However, two particular pillagers don’t seem too bad at all.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears: You really want to become a hunter. But when you misinterpret the Winchesters hesitation for not being good enough to hunt, rather than their worry and fear after having lost so much family, you resort to unhealthy means of weight-loss and exercise.

Runaway Winchester: You just didn’t mix. Specifically with Dean Winchester. So you left. However, things go south when you finally seem to settle elsewhere. But having covered your tracks, you’re not so sure the Winchesters will save you this time around.

Without a Shadow of a Doubt: As much as you acted like a hunter, you were not one. In fact, you had always been told to avoid hunters. Not because they were bad—the world certainly needed them—but because they were dangerous. And the Winchesters, by God, if you ever see one, go in the other direction before they caught your scent.

Better Late Than Never: Tied up in a shapeshifter’s den, arms above your head, you have a lot of time to think. The monster left you for dead, as monsters do. You thought about the numbness in your arms and the hollowness of your stomach, but mostly, you thought of the Winchesters. You wondered where they were, what they were doing, or if they were even looking for you.

Doctor Who:

To Define a Companion: A short snippet of the doctor dishing out a good lesson on companions.

Sherlock:

To Jump Again (Request): You had always had a minor crush of Sherlock Holmes. Nothing major, just little butterflies here and there, but you finally figure that won’t happen, that he hardly recognizes you. So you go on a date. Little did you know who you were dealing with.

A Shot in the Dark: Holed up in an abandoned hospital with several serial killers on your tails, Sherlock, John and you all struggle to make it out alive. Not to mention your flayed stomach.

Marvel:

…

General Fics:

COMPLETE! Team Free Will+ Getting Stranded (w/ Gabriel)

Part 1

Part 2

The Not-So-French Mistake

When she found herself suddenly in the Supernatural universe, Sydney knew it wasn’t if she would die; it was when, and how painfully.

Chapter 1: Angelic Abductions

Chapter 2: Reluctant Researching

Chapter 3: Fallen Ashes to Angels

Chapter 4: Siege of Sunshine

Chapter 5: Ain’t in Their Blood

Chapter 6: Crossroads Angel

Chapter 7: Inner Demons

Chapter 8: Putting Tissues in Teen Issues

Chapter 9: Halos, Harps, and Homicide

Chapter 10: Seize The Moment… Literally

Chapter 11: Good Cop, Bad Cop

Chapter 12: It’s Hierarchy Not Hierarchangel

Chapter 13

(Even more chapters to be added. It might finish at around 20-ish.)

Rise in Red

The Darkness attacks the sun out of fury and revenge, leaving her ‘shadows’ as a present for all living beings to suffer unto. With all the Gabriel action because we love Gabriel. :)

Sneak Peak: Poem <–(Part 1 will make more sense.)

Part 1

Part 2

COMPLETE! Five Times Sherlock Shrugged Off John’s Pain, and One Time He Couldn’t

1. Exhaustion

2. Drowning

3. PTSD

4. Nightmares

5. Danger

-1. Bullets

…

Original Works:

Wishing Upon a Star

(Inspiration from Supernatural)

Chapter 1: Twinkle Twinkle

Chapter 2: Run Like Hell

Chapter 3:

Chapter 4:

…

Poetry

Your Ghosts Haunt You Anyway

Rise in Red (Supernatural)

The Bone

The Battlefield

Our Only Obstacles

I See America Running

Two Men (Supernatural)

[jarchmarto]

Some Thoughts™️ I’ve been kicking around in my head for a while... (sorry if it’s not coherent)

I’ve been on Tumblr for a while now. I’ve seen the rise and fall of many fandoms. Been a part of those rises and falls, even. And, from what I’ve seen, it’s always the same - some piece of content gets wildly popular for a few years, people (whether they consume that content or not) get annoyed, and then that content becomes - drumroll please - cringy!

And I really hope that doesn’t happen with TMA.

I’m already seeing signs of it starting - small ones, but they’re there nonetheless. The joke about “everyone became a TMA blog overnight.” The fact that TMA is trending every time a new episode comes out. People making jokes about “I’m not in the TMA fandom, but I hope they’re doing alright.”

I’ve seen this before - SuperWhoLock, Homestuck, Undertale, Steven Universe - and I’ll see it again. And sure, there are valid reasons that people don’t like content. If you’re scrolling through your dash and all you see are posts from something you have not consumed or have no desire to, it can be annoying! Sometimes content is problematic and people are too swept up in the hype/too ignorant to recognize that! Sometimes the people who like the content are just so awful/annoying/whatever that the content becomes tarnished because of its fanbase.

But please, if this does happen with TMA, don’t be so quick to “cancel” it or whatever. Remember why you love it so much - the characters, the relationships, the story, the writing. It’s probably inspired you to make art! Or to write fanfic! Or to theorize about what’s gonna happen next! Or maybe you want to create the next most amazing audio drama!

Personally, I love TMA so much because as a writer myself, I am so thrilled to hear such a well-crafted story being presented to us. THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW WAS PLANNED OUT BEFORE JONNY WROTE IT. That shit takes COMMITMENT! It takes TIME! And it’s SO CREATIVE AND FRESH in a sea of underwhelming content! (Particularly the bad rep the horror genre has, from its treatment of women, POC, and LGBT+ characters to even just those shitty horror movies you watch only to make fun of). I never thought I would like horror, and now it’s one of my favorite genres to write in, all because of TMA.

And I also know that, even though Jonny and Alex have been warning us that this show will not have a happy ending, some people are clinging onto that hope. Trust me, I want to, too. But no matter how it ends up, some people are going to be upset, and that could very well contribute to TMA becoming “cringe.” They might say it’s “Bury Your Gays” if any of the LGBT+ characters end up dying (or something similar to death... again, personally, I think death is too... simple of an ending, for lack of a better word). Depending on what kinds of trauma the characters go through, some people might say that the way the story ends up erases that trauma. I’m sure there are other potential arguments that could come up, but those are the ones I’m thinking of off the top of my head because I know those are common things that people look out for because unfortunately, they are all too common. But, like I said earlier, Jonny has had this all planned out. He’s an EXCELLENT storyteller, and I’m sure he knows enough about the fanbase to know what would be satisfying for us. I know that not everyone will be happy with how it turns out, but look at what we have so far. We have PLENTY of canon LGBT+ characters, so even if some of them end up dying, that’s not Bury Your Gays. We’ve seen how different kinds of trauma have been handled, both for better AND for worse, and the times characters have handled their traumas poorly have been written that way intentionally to show that’s not how trauma should be handled. We have had consistent characterization and development of all of the core characters from the time they’ve been introduced, so no matter what ends up happening, I have faith that it won’t be for shock value - it’ll be the completion of those characters’ arcs and what they’ve been hurtling toward since the very first episode.

TL;DR, as we approach the end of TMA (the end of wildly popular pieces of content usually being when they start to be “assigned cringe by tumblr”), PLEASE remember why you love this show and how it’s helped you emotionally and artistically. It’s genuinely one of the most well-crafted pieces of media out there today, and I would be devestated if people start to hate on it as it draws to a close.

Also, this isn’t a call for people to debate with me. I’ve tried to be as uncontroversial as I could, but I know tumblr. I know if this post is seen by a lot of people, someone’s gonna get pissed over it. I’m not making this post to spark some controversy. If you want to reblog, please do, but if you don’t have anything beneficial to add, I will not interact.

[athenabeawesome]

At the end...

Ok final thoughts on supernatural and I will never speak of it again. (Lol yeah right but still).

I remember binging this entire show in one summer back in 2013. It was after my freshman year of high school and shout out to my high school’s Game club for playing destiel videos after school and getting me So HYPED for this show.

I remember feeling so attached to these boys. To this other worldly story they were building. That in the end, they had each other, and they would save the day. And my problems would melt away because the boys were fighting the devil and the angels and God himself and it was going to be okay. I would keep fighting.

I remember feeling like Dean the most - confused, angry, the good child who does what you’re parents tell you to do. Being the older sibling, raising your baby brother which sucked but also a job you would not trade for the world. (My brother is an ass and I’d die for him).

But there were moments when I felt like Sam - sad, rebellious, lost, needing guidance and reassurance from my person.

My people at the time - and we’re all still good friends even though I’m the only one that stuck with this show :P - watched the show with me. We had a community. And we didn’t just talk about SPN - most of us are weebs too, after all. We were also part of the OG superwholock fandom for a bit ;P

But I do remember that one day in study hall we talked about Castiel in season 6 The. Entire. Class.

And I think we had “Angel with a shot gun” playing on repeat for most of sophomore year. That song is a banger.

I remember using this show as a way to help relate and make feel better a friend who tried to commit suicide.

I used the show as a talking point for relating to people I’d never met before.

Needless to say, this show means a lot to me.

Not because it’s good. But because of who watched it with me.

Because of what it taught me.

When I went to college I fell off of the show, caught up when I could because I was still somewhat invested. But, growing up, you lose some of that fandom energy. Suddenly it’s not the show you talk to your friends about. It’s about your life and their lives. You talk about what you want. Who you’re going to be as a functioning member of society.

And now, full circle, I almost feel like a teenager again with this surge of emotions. But, life goes on.

And that’s what the finale taught me today.

Did I like it? No. Was it satisfying? No. Did I sob my eyes out for the better part of 30 minutes. Yes.

But life goes on anyway.

Thank you for reading this if you made it this far!!! Thank you to my SPN family for letting me leave my little spotlight of life on this hell site.

I don’t think I’ll ever think about supernatural the way I did when I was 14.

But I’ll never forget this family that I built around me. that love is the strongest thing in this universe.

And I’ll never forget to always keep fighting for it.

Annnnnnnd I’ll never forget that they killed both my gays (cause dean is def Bi and destiel is cannon fight me!).

But you know what, life goes on.

If I want a story I’ll write it.

If I want a family, I’ll make it.

And if I want my happy ending, I’ll find it in the people I love.