#that was a lot woops. This is why the others will take a while... sorry)

[actualbird]

woop i guess here i go− does it ever bother u how they don't really ever quite explain what's going on with luke's illness other than "aAAAH he'S sUDDENLY in PAIN!!1!1!" and some sort of nerve damage and what not... not that it doesn't make it any less sadder... BUT!!! sometime ago i looked up the symptoms of nerve damage and apparently it says stuffs like sharp pains (which we see happen often to luke through out) BUT ALSO numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength, and suddenly dropping stuff??? so i'm just wondering if you have any headcanons on luke's illness? DO YOU THINK HE'S JUST IN CONSTANT STINGING PAIN, AND HIS PAIN KILLERS ARE SO STRONG IT JUST NUMBS HIS WHOLE BODY??? OR DO YOU THINK HE ALTERNATES BETWEEN FEELING NUMB AND SUDDEN SHARP PAINS??? this has been my personal hc ever since jfjsjd i'm sorry you could see i'm a luke stan cause all luke stans are angst enjoyers /hj i just wanted to share my brain rot to the world thank you

hi anon!!! first off, i deffo wanna say uve come to the right place both abt luke hcs (because im a luke enjoyer first, a human being second) AND thoughts about his illness

tho i wouldnt say im bothered by how they dont explain the symptoms of his illness much since narratively, i can see how this would be necessary to maintain a certain amount of suspense on the NXX drug

however, ur so right in bringing up those other symptoms, bc ive got a bunch of thoughts and feelings about this!!

for context, i also have a longtime undiagnosed-after-years-of-tests neurological condition, but it's not serious and more just a lifetime inconvenience. i experience muscle myoclonus, which means that at any time without warning, my legs, arms, or neck can suddenly jerk into movement and ive actually got a bunch of those symptoms u mention haha!

but enough about that! lemme go thruuuuu

some of my thoughts/hcs on luke's illness

wc: 1.7k

before i start, this is whole thing is going to be mixing fiction (tot's story) and fact (IRL information on certain illnesses, medications, etc). the fiction bit is important because while tot describes luke's condition and shows us its effects, does Not name what it is, and the whole thing is still shrouded in a lot of mystery. but the fact bit is important because there are real conditions out there that are similar to what luke has, based on what we know.

among them, Fibromyalgia seems like the closest real world condition to what luke has got, but since it's not outright stated in canon, i'll be making some stuff up. still, it's important to me to have like, a somewhat sensible system in making stuff up, which is why im laying down all this ground work jhvjdhsfd, and because in the hc portion of this post i'll be riffing off of some of my own experience

anyhoo, let's REALLY start with what we already Know

-

what we know of luke's illness thus far from all the available story information from the global server

key words in that above title are "global server", because im aware that main story episode 9 in the cn server looks like it'll give us more info on this, but i dont like to or want to spoil myself for tot's future main story. so i'll be working within global server parameters!

so heres everything we know (...or rather, what i was able to remember in the course of me writing this response HAHA), as its been outright said and confirmed in canon:

luke's condition is currently diagnosed as terminal

luke's condition mostly manifests in sudden pain episodes that happen randomly and without warning. these pain episodes are not described to be coming from any specific body part, just that it's pain in general.

these pain episodes happen without any external trigger (i.e. luke doesnt have a pain episode when somebody bumps into him suddenly, but he can have a pain episode out of nowhere just doing something as passive as sitting or standing)

immediately after a pain episode, he takes his meds

these meds are analgesics (painkillers) and he was prescribed them by his previous doctor (the one who was handling luke and his condition before aaron)

even now that aaron has taken over as luke's primary physician, luke still takes painkillers immediately after any pain episode to manage the pain

luke's condition was caused by the NXX drug. after a mission where his team was attacked with toxic gas, he was the only survivor and the medicine he was given was somehow contaminated with the NXX substance

the NXX drug causes damage to the central nervous system, and luke's condition is confirmed to be related to his nervous system because in SSR Under The Milky Way, he describes his condition very specifically with the lines "[The contaminant] caused irreversible damage to my nervous system." and "[I] will constantly suffer from intermittent nerve pain."

-

hcs on The Experience Of The Condition

the main physical symptom we see in canon is pretty clear: sudden and randomly occurring debilitating pain. i like to think it's of the stinging variety!! but dialed up to 10000000 because it's always shown to be intense enough that always luke reacts to the pain. and luke's pain tolerance is High. in personal story 4, he didnt even flinch when mc was stitching up his gash, but he did double over in pain, trembling and shaking, when he got hit with one of the pain episodes.

in addition to the pain though, i totally second the motion on the symptoms of numbness, tingling, loss of muscle strength (which then leads him to train more to compensate for any loss, because luke is a madman with low self worth and one of his skills is his physical strength so he needs to keep that up for as long as he can), and suddenly dropping stuff, the ones you mention. a

those are my thoughts on possible physical symptoms. but with a condition as heavy as this, there will be psychological/emotional ramifications too

because of how tot's canon shows luke experiencing the Pain Symptom, the pain itself is put front and center. but personally i also think that the fact this symptom occurs Randomly, Suddenly, and Without Warning is on the same level of "oh god why this" as the pain

in general, not being able to know when your body is going to start working against you really really sucks! you cant prevent it, you cant avoid it, and you cant see it coming. sure you Can prepare for its random eventuality through out the day, which is what luke does by carrying around his painkillers everywhere with him, but even then, that only alleviates the specific instance currently happening and not the overall trend of It'll Happen Again! When? Secret....

it's hugely frustrating. in my case with involuntary movement, eventually i tried to constantly and impossibly try to expect it so that when it does happen, i dont knock over glass to the floor or fall down the stairs

but always trying to expect something you cant predict causes tension and anxiety.

luke's condition is much more severe and painful than my quirk. so keeping a mental background program, so to speak, always running and looking out for a pain episode of his condition must suck bigtime.

because he'll basically always be bracing himself for pain, even when nothing is happening.

and on a metaphorical level, being constantly braced for pain even when things are fine is something luke does A Lot. luke is always worried and preparing for worst case scenarios, luke is always trying to think ahead to have various backup plans to ensure people's safety, and luke seems more used to pain and bad things than he is prepared for happiness and good things.

bracing himself for pain gives luke a semblance of control over something that is terrifyingly out of his control completely. at least if hes always thinking about its inevitability, he'll have things that can help mediate its effects. but the price for that control is a constant tension and dread building inside of him every second, because hes always waiting for the other shoe to drop

-

my ideal hope for luke's story when a kind of treatment for his condition is found

i dont actually want for the condition to be completely cured. like, dont get me wrong, i obviously want the Terminal aspect of his condition treated because i love him and want him to live a long and happy life, but i dont want all of his symptoms gone. personally, i'd find it much more compelling narratively if his condition is treated and will no longer kill him in a few years, but still causes him pain that needs to be managed with meds and other treatments. and why i want this is because:

1 ) given the sheer struggle of his condition in the story thus far AND the fact that luke himself literally said the damage done to his nervous system is Irreversible, having a medical miracle like that happen feels a teensy bit like a deus ex machina to me. (sidenote: ofc, ur free to disagree with me! and feel free to disagree with this whole post in general, we've all got different opinions and thats chill)

2 ) in general with stories, i am less drawn to super neat resolutions and im more drawn to resolutions that are more like "and things werent perfect and they never will be, there will always be problems, but our characters will be okay and theyll keep getting better and better, and it's in this push and pull of struggle and learning and progress and getting through where their happiness lies"

ever since luke was a kid, even before he developed his condition, hes had the fear of being a burden to his loved ones. and when he does get his terminal condition, this fear is worsened and he starts to see his existence in other people's lives as a whole as a burden of pain and grief that isnt worth the trouble. and...i dunno, i just like the idea of him continuing to live but also continuing to have these problems that still spark fear inside of him and still take so much work to manage every day. and out of habit, he braces himself for pain, not just for the kind his condition gives him but from Life because Surely, His Loved Ones Will Get Tired Of All Of This, Of Him and The Problems He Comes With, Right?

but surprise surprise, they dont. because they care about him. because this should not and is not a dealbreaker for them continuing to care about him.

aaron creates treatment thats more on the preventative maintenance meds angle so luke doesnt have to just wait for a pain episode to pop up and then dry swallow painkillers every time. it's not infallible , but sometimes luke can have hours, even a whole a day sometimes where the pain hes bracing himself for doesnt come.

mc always reminds luke to take his meds whenever luke gets too busy or caught up in a case. he worries at first that it's an inconvenience to her for her to have to remember his routines for him just in case, but that worry becomes quieter as luke realizes she reminds him in the same tone as she says "good morning" or "have you had lunch yet? wanna join me?", just this casual and loving thing thats now integrated into both their lives

the team are always ready to help too in their own way. when luke gets a pain episode in hq, marius offers distraction in the form of idle chatter on (harmless) internal pax gossip while luke waits for his painkillers to dull down the stinging. when luke feels uncomfortable tingling crawling across his whole body while out with vyn, vyn subtly helps luke move from a crowded area to a quieter one where outside stimuli cant further overwhelm luke's senses. when it's a bad grip strength day and all luke wants to do is punch something and fuck his useless hands up even more, artem tells luke about custom silicone grips that exist for things like pens or knives or such and that they could look for some next time they go shopping.

it is not perfect. but luke's life, even with the pain, is still worth living. everybody is trying to help and eventually, luke learns how to start helping him self along with them too.

soooo yea theres my thoughts!! thanks for the ask, anon :D

[shina913]

Scions, Ch.7 | Kim Line + JHS

Scions, 7

sci·​on | \ ˈsī-ən \ Definition:(1)a descendant(2) a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting

✼Scions Masterlist✼

Pairing: Fem!Reader Sister + Kim Brothers; JHS x Fem!Reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre:��Siblings!AU; Marriage!AU; FWB!AU; exes to ?; Mom!Reader; Brother’s Best Friend; drama; angst; smut; fluff

Warnings: ANGST!!!; DRAMA!!!; multiple POV switches; character death; ots of crying–like, A LOT; parenting frustrations; parenting fears; vulnerable confessions; cussing; pining; marriage troubles; mentions of divorce/separation; emotional outbursts; mourning; soft sibling moments

Word count: 7,715 words

Summary: Four grown siblings return to their childhood hometown after their father is declared to be terminal. They are forced to live under the same roof for days, along with their overbearing mother, to say their final goodbyes. It starts off nostalgic until some unresolved family issues along with an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens make things even more interesting.

A/N: Happy 2023 and sorry this took so long! I had a long-ass note and somehow it got deleted 😂 Woops! Anyway, I wanted to thank all of those who have just recently discovered this story. I love reading all of your notes and thoughts on it as this story is very special to me. It's not an easy read nor is it easy to write (as I've said many times) because it's just...super heavy angst and drama! But I am happy that some of you are enjoying it and looking forward to the next installments!

A/N2: Joon's eulogy was taken from one of his insta stories from May 2022--yes, I have been holding onto this for that long! Translation was taken (verbatim) from @/eternalhyyh on Twt.

A/N3: There are some references to scenes from the two one-offs that were previously posted (Sunshine and Joon & Jooni). One scene in particular picks up right after the end of J&J but it's not super essential that you read those. They just contribute to the story and provide additional context.

After the funeral directors came by to pick up his dad’s body to bring him to the mortuary for cremation, Taehyung retreated to his childhood bedroom. He’d been sitting on the floor for who knows how long. The tears would come and go, especially when he would catch glimpses of old family photos that were displayed on his walls and his bookshelf.

Out of his siblings, he was taking it the hardest. His hero was gone and there was nothing he could do to remedy that.

His nephew and niece tried to coax him out of his room but he couldn’t face them…not like this. He was a mess.

Taehyung took pride in being the ‘fun’ uncle. Always playing games and putting smiles on their faces. The kids were also innately introspective so if they saw any hint that he was upset, they would ask questions about it.

And he wasn’t in the right headspace to talk about any of it yet.

He overheard Namjoon’s voice on the other side of the door, murmuring something about taking the kids to the park. Seconds later, the shadows between the gap of the floor and door moved away, much to his relief.

Sniffling, he reached for his phone by his bedside. He wasn’t sure why but he felt like he needed to confide in somebody…somebody who wasn’t family. Somebody who was emotionally removed from the situation.

“Hi,” he said shakily when the other line picked up. “Do you have a minute?”

******

Eunhae does one final sweep of her hotel room, checking to make sure that she didn’t leave anything. And if she did, it was unlikely that she’d ever come back to this area anyway.

She’d been gone from the office for a few days. And while the nature of her job allowed her to work remotely, it wasn’t like Taehyung was necessarily welcoming her with open arms.

For years, she happily relished in her independence. She didn’t like the idea of ‘belonging’ to someone. The idea of not being tied down to anybody was important to her. She was content with only having to worry about herself, for the most part since her family already worried her enough.

When she first met Taehyung, he was someone that she was instantly physically attracted to. The fact that he offered to carry her giant boxes from the moving truck and into her apartment was a bonus. 

He agreed to a no-strings arrangement but she could tell that he didn’t typically go for relationships like that. He was a gentle soul, always thinking about his family and friends.

Even after they’d slept together, he always offered that she stay the night, get something to eat, or just hang out for a bit. 9 times out of 10, she would decline. Spending time together after doing the deed almost always led to some type of attachment. But the times that she would agree, he considered it as a privilege.

He always treated her with respect even though her promiscuity would have other people looking at her differently. He was never the type to just leave right after he got what he wanted. And it was those times that made Eunhae reconsider how she felt about relationships. 

After years of living around the city and several casual encounters, she realized that she’d never met anybody like him. It was just unfortunate that she had gone into self-preservation mode right when Taehyung needed somebody.

She’d spent enough time kicking herself for being such an idiot about it. It was what brought her out here to begin with. Unfortunately, Taehyung would have none of it.

While she searches for the TV remote to check herself out of the room, her phone rings loudly from her purse.

It was probably the office again, she thought.

As soon as she retrieves it, the caller ID catches her off-guard.

“H-hey,” she answered. “You know what, I’m still in town. Do you want me to come over?”

******

When Namjoon returned from the park with the kids, his mom immediately greets him by the door asking if he had his suit laid out for tomorrow.

“How could I not bring a suit? I can’t believe…” he muttered to himself.

“Don’t even worry about it, darling!” His mom’s voice echoed through the bedroom from her walk-in closet.

“I was in such a hurry, it didn’t even cross my mind,” he says again, ignoring her comments.

“That’s alright, Namjoonah. You know, you and your dad are pretty much the same size? I mean, right before he got sick.” He turned around to find his mom holding a jacket open for him. It gave him pause, but she remained in that position, waiting to put it on him.

He glances at her for a moment, her expression was soft–one that he rarely saw. Growing up, he made life difficult for her every time she was on a break from filming or if she was in-between projects. Every time he defied her, he would see this hardened look on her face–one of frustration and disappointment.

Namjoon wasn’t always as compliant as his siblings were. He always went against the grain–which caused some constant conflict between him and his mother.

When he left for university, it was one of the best times of his life. He missed his siblings and his old friends but he also felt some relief to not feel obligated to spend time with his mom whenever she was home. He either had to study for exams, attend a workshop, or wanted to save on the bus fare home.

Come to think of it, this is the most time he has spent with her, in the same space, after over a decade.

He swallowed the emotions that bubbled up inside him. He took a step towards her then turned around to stretch his arms backwards. Once he slipped his hands through the armholes, his mom pulled the jacket up his arms and onto his shoulders. He felt her small hands do a quick sweep over his shoulder blades to smooth the material.

Afterwards, she moved around him. His eyes shifted downward while he watched her straighten out the lapels and brush off some errant traces of lint.

 “Ma, you don’t have to do that, I can–”

“Shush and just let me do this, adeul.”

He released a long, exasperated breath…and let her be.

“You know, this was one of your dad’s favorites. I had it custom-made for him,” she muses.

Namjoon gets a whiff of his dad’s scent on the jacket and a calm washes over him. It smelled of citrus-mint bar soap…one that he used for as long as Namjoon can remember. His dad was but a creature of habit. He could have gone and used all of those artisanal bath oils and scents that his mom brought from her travels but he always stuck to the same one.

His dad once said that it was the same soap that they carried at the resort where they had honeymooned as newlyweds.

He happened to find the manufacturer and ordered copious amounts of them. To this day, he kept a small stock in a waterproof, air-tight container in the basement. Namjoon chuckled at the memory.

A few more seconds of fussing with his collar, his mom stepped back and cocked her head to the side, admiring her handiwork. “There. So handsome,” she smiled appreciatively.

Namjoon snorts at the remark. “Mom…please,” he says, cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment.

“What? I’m not allowed to compliment my son? My smart, successful, handsome son? Whom I’m very proud of, by the way,” she added.

Namjoon’s eyes shift downward.

She cocked her head to the side and touched his cheek. “Hey–what’s with the long face?”

“Proud?” His lips quirked morosely. “I’m not sure if I deserve your pride. I’m…I don’t even know if I would be proud of myself.”

She scoffed. “And why not?”

“My marriage is ending because my wife cheated on me right under my nose, my life is in shambles…and now I’m bringing a baby into the world?”

“Is that why you haven’t talked to him in the last few weeks? Is that why you tried to keep this from us? You think we’d think less of you?”

“Ma, even I think less of me right now. I…” he opened his mouth to say something, but struggled to find the right words. “I usually know what my next move would be…but…for some reason, I just feel…” he sighed, “...lost.”

She hummed, understanding his predicament. “A baby, huh? You must be terrified.”

He scoffed. “I am.”

“Well–not sure if it’s any consolation, but that feeling never goes away.”

“That’s reassuring,” Namjoon says sarcastically.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re afraid of, darling?”

“Uhh…everything! I don’t even know where or how to start raising another human. I can’t even figure out my life right now.” He runs both hands through his hair, suddenly feeling a cold sweat break through his scalp. “What would I teach this kid?”

“Why don’t you sit down, before you give yourself an aneurysm, Namjoonie?”

He sits on his parents’ old bed, which was most recently moved back into the master bedroom after hospice staff picked up the hospital bed and other medical equipment following his dad’s passing.

His mom sits right next to him.

“Sweetheart, do you remember when Jooni was born?”

Namjoon smiles nostalgically at the memory. “Like it was yesterday.”

“Do you remember how you felt when you first held her?”

He laughed. “I was…very scared! She was so small and…I was so nervous, I thought I would drop her.”

“And did you?” She asked quietly.

He shook his head gently. “YN said that, if you loved something that precious, even the clumsiest person would hang on to it as if their life depended on it.”

“And you held her so carefully and so close to you.”

“I did…for over an hour! I didn’t even care that my arm fell asleep,” He laughed softly. “It felt nice.”

His mom smiled. “That’s what being a parent is, Namjoon. It’s terrifying at first because there are so many things that you don’t know. You can plan things out in advance in anticipation for the worst possible scenario but…that’s just not how it works. You learn as you go”

Then she turned and looked at him lovingly. “You just need to love them and do the best you can for them. You hang on to them tightly until they’re ready to let go and set off on their own.”

Namjoon hung his head and stared at the floorboards. “Do you think Vee and I have already screwed this kid up with this divorce?”

His mom rests her arm on his shoulder and squeezes it gently, her expression unyielding but reassuring. “Honey, I think that if you stayed in an unhappy marriage, that would not be healthy for your child either. Most people think that you need to prioritize your child’s happiness before yours–but I disagree. Self-sacrifice is a given when you decide to have children but at the end of the day, you need to take care of yourself, too. It’s an absolute necessity…so that you can take care of others.”

Namjoon nods, allowing his mom’s words to sink in. He knew that his family was unconventional. His parents’ generation was all about doing things for the benefit of the whole family. You didn’t take care of yourself, you didn’t do things for yourself–that was selfish.

Somehow, his parents found a balance to defy all that. They found a way to make their dreams come true and love their children at the same time. While self-sacrifice was evident in all of the decisions they made for their family, self-love also took precedence. It was how his parents reinforced their marriage.

She rubs the back of his neck softly, which he finds comforting. After that, she gives him a kiss on his temple. “You’ll be okay, Namjoonie. We’re here to help you get through this.”

Namjoon lets out a wry chuckle. “You’re way more optimistic than I am. I probably have the worst parental instincts!”

“‘Worst parental instincts’?” She laughed at how ridiculous he was being. “Who was it who volunteered to take the children out to the park for a bit of playtime?”

“That was coincidental. Everyone was busy with stuff and I didn’t want the kids to get bored or get in the way.”

She rolled her eyes. “Give yourself a bit more credit, Namjoon. I see how you are with Joobin and Jooni.”

He continues to wave her off. “That’s different. I play with them for a bit, keep them company…At the end of the day, I get to give them back to YN. It’s kind of like library books.”

Mouth falling open, she gasps and clutches her chest in disbelief. “Kim Namjoon! You did not just compare your niece and nephew to library books?!”

He chuckled in return. “I love books—and I love Joobin and Jooni.” His face falters for a second, turning more serious. “…but they’re not mine. It’s…I don’t know how to explain it.” He sucked in a breath, trying to make out the words. After a few beats, he continued, “I just feel like…I’ll have less room for error when it’s my kid.”

His mom frowned. “Why would you think that?”

Her question was met with silence. She put her hand on his cheek and gently urged him again. “Joonie, tell me.”

He sighed heavily, looking up at her with sad eyes. “I just feel like, after all those years that I treated you badly, maybe this is the universe’s way of getting payback…you know, because I was a bad son to you.”

The words pierced her chest like a barb. They didn’t have the easiest relationship and Namjoon always seemed intent on keeping a rebellious streak but her love for him never wavered.

“Oh, honey…no. No, no, no,” she desperately wrapped her arms around his too-large-frame. “Whatever stuff we were going through…you shouldn’t think of it as some generational thing. Me being away all the time was tough not just on you but on me, too.”

Namjoon sniffled. Regretting all those years that he punished his mom for being absent during his formative years. She did what she needed to…and it was never without his dad’s blessing. He realized that now.

“I’m sorry for not giving you a break, ma,” Namjoon mumbled.

“It’s all water under the bridge.” She pulls away from him and gives his forehead a lingering kiss. “I love you and I just want what’s best for you…always.”

Namjoon stared back into his mom’s eyes. All those years of animosity that he put between them–she just waved it all away with a kiss.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, darling,” she smiled. “And not that you need to hear this from me but I think you’ll be a great father. You care a great deal about your family–and I think that matters a lot when you’re raising children.”

******

You weren’t the only one on autopilot. Almost everyone in this house was trying to keep themselves busy.

When Namjoon and the kids returned from the park, you handed them off to Sam. Thankfully, he canceled all of his calls and meetings since the funeral was scheduled for tomorrow.

“Where are the kids?” Jin had just emerged from the study. He’d been on the phone with the minister confirming details on the memorial and coordinating with his staff at the restaurant for the reception. 

His staff. It was a strange thought. Only days ago, they were your dad’s staff. Even though he relinquished that role to Jin ever since he decided to ‘retire,’ they still considered him as their boss.

“With Sam,” you say, looking up from the soup you were stirring.

He snorted. “At least he’s being useful. I think I’ve only seen him a total of two hours since he arrived. Even in those two hours, he always had that fucking earpiece on,” he says, referring to Sam’s bluetooth headset.

You sighed heavily at Jin’s grumblings about your husband. He didn’t dislike Sam…at least not at the outset. When you brought him home to meet your family, Jin had resigned himself to the fact that this man was going to be in your life, and in turn, his life.

Unlike Namjoon, there was no benefit to wishing that someone else was in his place instead.

But as time went on, Jin grew tired of Sam being away so much, leaving you to deal with the kids and manage your home.

“He’s been busy, oppa. Unfortunately, some foreign clients don’t really care about personal stuff. They just want to know how and when they’re going to get their money.”

Jin wanted to argue that point but he didn’t have the energy. Thankfully, when Namjoon got back from the park, he handed him the list of family members and friends whom he hadn't called yet.

“Where’s Yoojung?” He asks instead.

You were thankful for the change in subject. “Unnie wasn’t feeling well. I told her to go lie down so I offered to finish this up for her.”

“She’s been doing a lot in the last few days,” he says, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I know. Do you want to go upstairs and keep her company? I’ll let you guys know when dinner’s ready.”

Jin nods and starts to walk off to check on his wife upstairs but turns back around.

“Hey,” he says cautiously.

You look up at him.

He hesitates for a beat, hoping that he wasn’t speaking out of turn. But he was the eldest and he knew that you always respected any advice he gave. He moistens his lips. “Whatever it is you and Sam are going through…just know that whatever you decide, we’ll support you.”

Your breath caught in your throat. For nearly four years, you tried to cover up your marital issues. You and Sam have gone through counseling and after a few sessions, it seemed like things were going to work out.

This time, though? It was becoming more evident that your marriage was beyond repair. Even after your conversation with your dad, you hadn’t made up your mind yet. You thought you could revisit all of that after the memorial, when you and Sam got back to the city.

Although, it seemed as if Jin was as intuitive as your dad was.

“Oppa, I…” Your shaky voice betrayed your resolve.

“I know that if dad were still here, he would say the same thing,” he says softly.

Your nose stung and you felt the tears well up in your eyes. At the first sob you let out, Jin instantly wraps you in his arms tightly. 

“Hey…it’s gonna be okay, YN.” He rubbed your back soothingly.

“Please don’t tell Joon yet,” you whimpered. 

“Is it because you’re afraid that he can finally kick Sam’s ass?”

You pulled away, chuckling while wiping your tears. “No,” you answer. “He’s just got a lot to deal with right now. I’ll tell him eventually.”

Jin nodded. “I hear you. I will say though, nothing good ever comes out of keeping secrets. Not saying that you were doing it maliciously but…you think you’re protecting people’s feelings when you could be making things worse by not trusting them enough to be understanding about it.”

He wiped the tears that dripped from your cheeks. “At some point, you have to choose whether trying to be strong in front of your kids is worth sacrificing your own happiness.”

He pulls you close for another brief hug and plants a kiss on the crown of your head. “You know that I love you, right?”

You nodded wordlessly.

“Good.”

Before he walks away, the doorbell rings. “I’ll get it,” he says. “Just finish up with the soup.”

“Thank you, oppa.”

******

Jin is surprised to see Eunhae at their front door. She bows to him, giving her condolences.

“Thank you,” he replies sullenly. “If you’re here for Taehyung…he’s…” He scratches the back of his head uncomfortably, unsure how to tell her that his little brother had barricaded himself in his bedroom. ”I’m not sure if he’s up to seeing anyone.”

Eunhae nodded. “I understand.” She omits telling Jin that Taehyung called her and that she offered to come over. She figured that none of his family members have been able to coax him out. “I’d like to try? Uhm…you know, talking to him?”

Jin sighed. At this point, he’d try anything to get Taehyung out of his room. The memorial was tomorrow and he hoped that the whole family would pull it together to send off their dad properly.

He was worried sick about Taehyung. He hadn’t spoken or eaten in the last two days. Yoojung and YN would leave bowls of food by the door and they would remain untouched hours later. The only activity that came out of his room were sounds of old jazz and soul music–songs from their father’s playlist.

“Sure,” Jin invites her in. He offers her some refreshments but she respectfully declines. He then walks her up the steps towards Taehyung’s room. Jin knocked at the door to let him know that Eunhae was here. As expected, there was no response.

He shrugged at her. “Good luck, I guess?” She gave him a polite, grateful smile before he excused himself to check on Yoojung.

Eunhae knocks on the door again and calls to him. “Taehyung? Can I come in?” A few seconds of silence, and she’s about to give up but the door clicks and a disheveled Taehyung stands in front of her.

******

The house felt suffocating so Taehyung asked if Eunhae could drive out by the lake. He needed some fresh air.

“I hope you don’t mind. I called Jungkook and told him about the memorial.” She says, after turning the car engine off.

Taehyung nodded absentmindedly in acknowledgement.

“I just asked him to spread the word–and let your other friends or coworkers know.”

“Thanks,” he replies quietly. “Sorry, I’ve just been…out of it.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You’re going through a lot,” she says understandingly.

“I…I don’t even know what to do with myself,” he mumbled, before rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

She could tell that he wanted to spill his guts out to her but he was holding back. This was something personal…deeply so. And this was never part of their agreement.

But she knew, from the moment she picked up his call and offered to come over, all of those boundaries that she set up to keep him within arm’s reach were out the door.

“I’m here to listen.”

Taehyung turned his head away from the window to face her. She was staring back at him, unmoved. Her eyes drift down to his hand and without hesitation, she reached out to rest her hand over his and gave it an assuring squeeze.

“I’m here for you,” she says.

His eyes flicked down to their clasped hands. When Taehyung called her, he thought that he only needed a sounding board. In reality, he needed her.

And so he talked. He talked about his dad and how much he loved him…and how sad he was that he wasn’t going to be around anymore.

And she listened while he got it all out. She watched him cry and whimper. She saw him surrender to the grief that he was feeling. She wasn’t sure why he felt as if he had to hide this from his siblings. They all seemed very supportive and loving.

After an hour, he got himself together and asked if she could drive him back to the house.

When they returned, they were greeted by his sister. She insisted that Eunhae stay for dinner.

While they sat and ate, his brothers discussed other things that needed to be done before tomorrow’s memorial. She watched him nod obediently, volunteering for tasks, even if they weren’t asked of him.

Eunhae realized that Taehyung was struggling to find his footing in his family. He’s spent so much time trying to come off as someone who was carefree…when in fact, he cared a lot. It must be difficult to be overshadowed by three older siblings who already had their paths laid out.

Discussions then led to the events happening the next day. The memorial was supposed to start early in the morning in their home. A florist would come by to set up an arrangement in the middle of the living room with their father’s portrait, followed by mourners bowing and paying their respects.

The memorial would then be followed by a brief reception at the family’s restaurant.

“Eunhae, you don’t have to rush back, do you?” His mom asks.

“M-ma, let’s not impose on Eunhae. She might need to get back–”

“What Taehyung means is that, I’d be honored to stay, Mrs. Kim,” Eunhae cuts Taehyung off.

His mom smiled warmly. “Very good.”

*******

“Hey, listen–I just want you to know that if you have other stuff going on back in the city, you don’t need to stick around.” Taehyung said as he walked Eunhae out to her car.

Her eyebrows knitted. “I really don’t mind. I want to be able to pay my respects, too.”

He nodded. “I know but…I just don’t want you to feel that my mom’s lured you into something you feel like you can’t back out of.”

She chuckled. “Your mom is a lovely person. I’m happy to be wherever she welcomes me.”

They both exchange awkward smiles before Eunhae gives a small wave, leaving him standing on the curb while she rounds her car to get to open the driver side door.

Taehyung cleared his throat. “T-thanks again…” he blurts out.

“What for?”

He dug his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “For being someone whom I needed.”

“And that is?”

After a brief pause, he sighed. “A good friend.”

With a small nod and smile, she says, “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

*******

The funeral goes as planned. Even with barely a 2-day notice, the community showed up. As with tradition, the family lined up beside the funeral altar–spouse first, followed by their children, according to birth order: Jin, Namjoon, YN, and Taehyung. Mourners were welcomed by Yoojung and Victoria at the door, and afterwards made their offerings to the dead, then paid their respects to the family.

Afterwards, everyone was invited to gather at the family’s restaurant for a brief reception.

Yoojung, who was feeling much better today, pulled it together to manage the whole event, as was her duty as the eldest son’s wife. Sam was on kid-duty while Vee made small-talk with other guests.

Hobi volunteered his time and one of his staff, Yoongi, to help with the reception. After he paid his respects earlier that morning, he went straight from the family home and into the restaurant to get everything set up before guests arrived for the reception. He was following Yoojung’s lead in terms of food and service, while he left Yoongi in charge to manage beverages.

When Jin arrived, he walked through the kitchen, thanking the staff for their hard work. He spotted Hobi walking through with an emptied chafing dish.

“Hobah?”

“Yes, hyung?” He puts the dish in the sink to soak. “Everything ok? Do you need anything?”

“No, everything’s great. I just wanted to thank you for keeping everything going and helping Yoojung.”

Hobi gives Jin a warm smile. “It’s the least I could do, hyung. Everybody’s here to celebrate appa. He’s touched their lives one way or the other.”

Jin gives a small nod, trying to keep his emotions in check. They may not have been related by blood or marriage–but he was always part of the family. “In any case, our family really, really appreciates it.”

Unprompted, Hobi moves in to give Jin a hug. He shakily accepts it, patting Hobi on the shoulder. “Thank you, brother,” Jin whispers before pulling away and walking off to check on Yoojung.

******

Eunhae steps into the kitchen in search of more napkins in the supply closet when she sees the backdoor ajar. She went to close it but stopped short when she saw Taehyung crouched on the stoop.

“Tae?”

His head jerks up at the sound of his name. “Oh…h-hey.”

“What are you doing here?” She asks. “Jungkook has been looking for you.”

He sighed. “I just wanted a little quiet before everyone got here,” he answers quietly then quickly gets up when sees her with the box of napkins in her hand.

“Hey–I can just get that,” he says, reaching for the napkins. “Why don’t you just chill out and get some food–”

“I don’t mind helping,” she smiled. “Yoojung-unnie needed an extra pair of hands so I offered.”

“I just don’t want you to think that we’re trying to put you to work or–”

She lays her hand on his wrist assuringly. “Taehyung,” she says firmly, “It’s alright. It’s like I said earlier when you called–I’m here for you.”

“I just…I feel really bad about all the stuff I said to you back at the hotel,” he says with regret.

That made the dull ache in Eunhae’s chest begin to move to the forefront but she’s able to push it back to the corner. Even though she wanted to talk to him about it too, this wasn’t the time nor the place. “Listen, why don’t we just get through today and if you’re feeling up to it, we can talk tomorrow? I was planning on driving back to the city tomorrow night.” Although Eunhae was allowed to do her work remotely, she still had to check into the office from time to time.

Taehyung gives a slight bob of his head. Eunhae gives him a polite smile in return. “C’mon, your noona’s asking for you.”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a sec,” he replies.

She turns to walk away but he calls out to her again. She turns around to face him.

“Thank you, Eunhae…for…” he sighed, seemingly at a loss for words. “...For everything.”

“You’re welcome.”

******

An hour-and-a-half into the reception, Namjoon steps to the front of the house to say a few words.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming. I think I speak on behalf of my mom, my siblings, and our respective partners and families,” he glances at Vee, who sat in one corner of the room, “...when I say that, my dad would have been touched knowing that you were all here to celebrate him.”

Then he chuckled. “I think he also would have found it funny that everyone would be fussing over him like this. He would have been the first to get up and tell everyone that we should just all go home, kick our shoes off and have a beer on the porch.”

There was a collective laugh that rang throughout the room.

He paused for a moment, eyes flicking downward to collect himself. Afterwards, he cleared his throat to continue. “It’s not traditional for us to do eulogies but…I’ve always thought that our family was never traditional in that sense anyway so, I don’t think the elders would mind if I read something.”

He opened the book that he clutched in his hand, where a passage was bookmarked. “This was one of the last things that I read to my dad. He and I loved to read together and have long conversations about whatever it was we just read. We’ve had some impassioned discussions and even epic debates that we settled by agreeing to disagree” he says with a chuckle. “But one thing’s for sure…” He paused again, feeling the tears creeping up. But he manages to hold back with a sniffle. 

“Anyway, this passage is from ‘I Want to Write, But I Don’t Want to Write:’

A cynical attitude extorts all creations. It would've been better if I was only cynical, but because I'm both warm and cynical, I either burn hot or shiver in cold or lose my energy while going back and forth between the cold and heat.

Because the words and movies I loved were colossal, the closer I get to them, the more limitlessly small and shabby I feel.

You eventually happen to avoid people that make you feel small. Be it your lover, friends or even parents. And then you will have to change your true self.

Just like how you have to acknowledge and get rid of your fantasies about love in order to keep loving. Because no existence or values can be absolutely beautiful.

If the set of values that kept my current self synchronized was in full effect, I have to dispose of those values and keep going by forming a new set of them. Otherwise I have to quit everything boldly and find something else to do.

But sadly, my ordinary self is just standing still, unable to do either of them. In the end, I find myself meaninglessly romantic and contradictory for being unable to give up what I have to give up and gave up on myself instead.

Even if it may not be reachable, I currently don't know any other way than just heading towards that place.

Namjoon shut the book and tucked it between his palms, then hugged it to his chest. His eyes roamed the room, finding that there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

He lets out a shaky breath, finishing with, “I know my dad would have thought it was far-fetched that anybody would miss him,” he paused, “But you all being here proves him wrong. The fact is that we miss you, dad…a lot.”

His mom rose from her seat, walked towards him to kiss him on the cheek.

******

“Are you driving back tonight?” Namjoon asks Vee while he walks her to her car.

“Hmm…I was thinking about it,” she replies..

Namjoon’s expression became uneasy. “The weather reports say it’s supposed to rain tonight.” Vee drove a Porsche 911 Turbo. It was a death trap for Namjoon but she loved her little speed demon.

“Would you mind staying another night? I’ll pay for the hotel,” he offered while eyeing her car worriedly.

She smiled warmly and appreciated his concern. He may not love her anymore but it was good to know that he still had love for her.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay another night and leave in the morning. You don’t need to pay for it.”

He nodded in gratitude. “Thanks for being here and…you know, doing all that…” He referred to her acting like a dutiful wife, talking to relatives and neighbors as if everything was normal.

She nodded politely. “You’re welcome. You gave a beautiful sendoff.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you thought so.”

“You’ve always had a way with words.” She smiled at him before stepping into her car.

He lingered there for a bit, watching while she plugged her keys into the ignition. Then, he stepped off the curb, knocking on the passenger window. “Vee?”

She rolls it down to hear him better.

“When I get settled in my new place…we should talk.”

Her jaw nearly drops with his offer. “Uhm…yes…yeah…” she stuttered. “That would be great.”

He nodded. “For the baby.”

She nods in return. “Of course.” On that hopeful note, she pulls out of her parking spot to drive back to the hotel.

Namjoon turned on his heel to walk back to the restaurant to help clean up. On the path there, he comes across Sam, who looked like he was on a very terse phone call.

Sam gave a quick head bob upon eye contact. Namjoon acknowledges him before he ducks indoors.

******

After the memorial, everyone returns to the house. Everything had been such a blur in the last few hours–it’s hard to believe that it wasn’t even dinner time yet. Everybody looked exhausted and parked themselves as far as their bodies would take them. Jin and Yoojung sat in the dining room, making coffee, while Namjoon made himself a pot of instant jjajangmyeon.

Taehyung was sprawled on the family room’s floor, with his best friend Jungkook, while both kids horsed around them.

Your mom, mostly stoic in the last two days, carefully trudged back upstairs to nurse a headache.

“YN, you want some?” Namjoon offered.

You decline absentmindedly, trying to search for Sam. He may have gone straight upstairs to lay down.

Just then, Joobin comes running towards you with his iPad. “Mommy, my iPad is dead,” he complains.

“Why don’t you plug it in by the corner, bud?” You point towards the little table where you’ve set up a device charging station for the kids.

“I tried but it won’t work. I think the wire is broken.” You let out an exasperated sigh. It didn’t matter which ‘braided’ or ‘angled’ charging cable you bought to make your life easier when it came to the kids’ devices. They always found new ways to break whatever was touted as the most durable material on the market.

“Okay, why don’t you stay here and play with Uncle Tae and Jungkookie and I’ll check to see if daddy will let you borrow his. Sound good?”

With a big smile, he runs off and jumps into Jungkook’s arms.

When you round the corner from the stairs’ landing, you call out to Sam.

“Hey, can I borrow a charging cable–

Sam looks startled when you come to view.

“What’s all this?” You ask, gesturing at his luggage.

He sighed uncomfortably. “I…I have to leave.”

“Leave? Now?” You ask through gritted teeth.

“Uh…soon,” he replies.

You turn your head away so quickly to take a breath, calming yourself so as not to completely lash out at him while in a full house.

You quietly shut the door behind you before hissing at him. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right? When were you going to tell me?”

“I–” he stuttered. “Look, I just got the call earlier, a little after the reception ended. I was going to tell you once everyone was settled in.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, reining in your annoyance. You were exhausted and weren’t in the mood for an argument but he was really making it difficult to make this into a reasonable discussion.

“My UK deal is falling apart and I have to fly over there to save it.” It was as if he hadn’t even considered what you and your family had just gone through. Your dad was dead and Sam was ready for ‘business as usual.’ As if he actually tried to pause while your dad slowly faded away.

You scoffed. “And you didn’t tell them that you were in mourning? Are your bosses so self-absorbed that a death in the family is a non-factor?”

“They didn’t force me, YN. I made the call.”

Your jaw drops. You knew Sam valued his work but you didn’t think he would choose it over family.

“My dad just fucking died and you’re leaving? Were you just counting down the hours?”

He let out an exasperated groan. “Of course not. I didn’t come to this decision lightly.”

“Bullshit,” you spat out. “I am barely hanging on here and all I need is a little bit of support from my husband! Is that too much to ask?”

“I was here for you…I…I am! I left a fucking business deal on the table so I could be here for you!”

“You mean locking yourself in a room to be on the phone for hours on end is what you call ‘being there for me’? Entertaining the kids a couple hours at a time before your next conference call is your way of supporting me?”

“I’m doing the best I can, YN. We’ve been here for over a week already–”

“When you asked me to marry you…you said you would be a provider of this family. I…I honestly didn’t expect you to go above and beyond that promise, but you did. And for that, I will be forever grateful. In return, I wanted you to be able to live out your ambitions. You were great at what you do. So, I made a home for you and our children…tried to make the best of this marriage. And you can’t say that I didn’t try…because I fucking did.”

You met Sam during a rough period in your life. You were just getting over Hobi, adjusting to your new job, and living with Namjoon until you found a place of your own. It was a scary, transition period and suddenly, here was this nice, handsome man, handing you your transit card that you just dropped.

You weren’t looking for anything serious. He was a good distraction at the time…until you fell pregnant.

It was such an inopportune time and you contemplated not going through with it but Sam convinced you otherwise. He confessed his love for you and promised to take good care of you.

He said as much when you took him back here to face your parents and your brothers. He asked your dad for permission to marry you, to which he agreed, appreciating the gesture.

Namjoon was less than thrilled.

It wasn’t the dream wedding your mom had envisioned for you when you were a little girl but it was intimate and lovely. Everyone who mattered in your life was there.

It was touch-and-go at first and Sam was very patient. Somehow, he managed to juggle a new wife, a new baby, and a demanding job without breaking a sweat. It was what made you love him even more.

And it was good for the first two years…until problems started cropping up. You don’t get your dream job without sacrificing a few things along the way.

It started with little fights about why dinner wasn’t ready yet, or why that vacation was getting canceled again. You stopped communicating because he was at work all the time and you’d be tired from working and caring for Joobin.

But you didn’t want this marriage to fail. You sought counseling for a few months and it actually helped. Things seemed better. In fact, things felt so much better, that you decided to have a second child.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after Jooni was born that the same cracks in your marriage became evident once more. At that point, you had your hands full with managing your household and two children. You didn’t have the bandwidth to manage your husband.

“And now? I’m tired, Sam.” Your shoulders slumped while you stared at him.

Sam’s eyes stayed glued to you. He opens his mouth to try to argue but he snaps it shut instead. It was pointless. It was a valiant effort on both your parts but this decision was a long-time coming. It seemed as though you were just waiting for the other to pull the trigger.

He put his hands on his waist and sighed in defeat. “Can I at least say goodbye to the kids?”

You nodded softly. “Of course.”

You eyed each other silently from across the room. Knees feeling weak, you feel the need to sit yourself down on the mattress. You sighed with your head in your hands.

You feel the side of the mattress dip while he takes a seat beside you. “We had a good run, didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled. “Damn,” you shook your head warily.

******

After Sam left, you went into the backyard, tidying up the kids’ toys. You weren’t quite ready to explain all of the details to them yet, even as he hugged them goodbye. You and Sam agreed to sit them down when you were both back in the city and all legalities have been set in motion.

You were in the midst of picking up Joobin’s dinosaurs when you heard Taehyung offer to help.

“Oh, I’m fine,” you replied.

He took two strides closer to you. “You don’t sound like you’re fine.”

You gave him the most genuine smile you could muster. “Tae, I’m fine.”

“C’mon, noona. I know you.”

You scoffed, shaking your head and continued to pick up action figures, tossing them into a bucket. “You say that as if you’re some expert.”

“I’m an expert in you.”

You laughed as you walked away from him. “Really?”

“Of course. I mean…you practically raised me.” That stopped you dead in your tracks until he caught up to you.

“When I’m confused or lost or struggling with a decision, I think about what noona would do.” Then he smiled broadly. “And I do it and…things turn out fine.”

Each of you had your own style of ‘lecturing’ Taehyung. Your approach wasn’t nagging but you always left room for him to make his own decisions. You didn’t realize that he would take those to heart.

You bit into your lip to stop it from quivering. “Tae…”

“Would you be mad if I tried to give you some advice?”

You laughed softly and shook your head emphatically.

He leaned in and rested his hands on your shoulders. “I want you to know that it’s okay to be fine. And you deserve to be fine,” he says firmly.

Your eyes welled up at your little brother’s words of comfort. Even in the moment when you feel the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, your family was here to remind you that they were here to share the load.

“Now, c’mon. Hobi-hyung just invited the whole family to drinks at Hangsang!”

“W-wait–but my kids?”

Taehyung grinned. “Mom says she’s got it. She says you deserve a drink or two.”

You nodded then began to walk back up the porch and into the house.

You paused at the threshold. “So…what about you? Are you…fine?” You hadn’t really had a conversation after he locked himself up in his room for nearly a day. You were understandably worried.

Taehyung’s mouth curved into a smile. “I’m on my way there.”

You cupped his cheek and gave it a little pinch. “Is Eunhae coming to Hangsang?”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, she is. She…volunteered to be designated driver.”

You chuckled and lifted a shoulder. “Maybe you’ll get to ‘fine’ quicker than you think.”

◤Previous | Part 8◥  | Main Fic Masterlist

Thank you for reading!

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[favoringeyes]

my kagepro retrospective under the cut. it sounds so fake deep or whatever but this aug 15th sucked major balls for me i didnt get to write this until like the 20th anywayyyty

so kagepro day is over, but everyday is kagepro day for me. originally i was going to discuss on what being a "medusa" and "hero" meant in kagepro, but i didnt have time august 15th WOOPS. i’ll probably make a thread on that later stay tuned ;). sorry in advance, i take myself (and kagepro) way too seriously. stuff i say might not make sense, or connect well, but in the end this is kind of just for me and a retrospective on the journey i have taken with kagepro, so it’s not even really an analysis, it’s just self-indulgent. so i found kagepro when i was 14, im 18 now. i noticed this is like a really common thing, people find kagepro when they were pre-teens or teens and then it sticks with them until they’re adults, or well into their adulthood. i dont know if it’s because im biased, but i find kagepro has a tendency to stick to people like glue in a different way other then nostalgia. why is that? well, kagepro at its core is about growing up. it’s one of the main focal points of the series, and jin in his songs’ afterwords talks about it constantly. i guess you could argue the entire time loop is an allegory for denying the act of “growing up.” but what is growing up anyway? is it simply turning 18, or is it the act of regretting? i think becoming an “adult” is different for everyone, just as it is different for each of the mekakushi dan. you cant really put a label on that sort of thing. the summer, it’s a time full of emotion. it’s when you make the most discoveries as a child, it’s when you explore, it’s when you get time to just be. i think it’s fitting that this is the season kagepro takes place in. i think a lot of us yearn for the summer when we didnt “know better.” it was much more simple back then in a way. summer changes as you grow up. it becomes painful, annoying, while summer as a kid is exhilarating. however, im barely even an adult arent i? i turned 18 about 3 months ago, and yet im lumped in with people already well into their 40s. i think growing up for me, at least, is yearning. i yearn for something, i dont even know what. but, the characters in kagepro yearn for a lot as well. friendship, love, happiness. so maybe im yearning for that stuff too. here’s a quote from jin’s remind blue afterword that keeps coming back to me in one way or another, “I wonder what changed between my ‘child self’ and my ‘adult self’. I’d said there wasn’t much difference, but come to think of it, there’s just one thing. For some reason, I’ve come to reminisce to the ‘past’ awfully often.” just something to think about i guess.

[missycolorful]

🏳️‍🌈 - Give your thoughts on the Dream SMP's portrayal of queer/LGBT+ identity.

What a fun question, because beforehand, I hadn't really had much to say about the queer stuff in the DSMP. But that's a good thing, because I think that stems from how normal it is on the server.

Like, let's think about it: Most romantic relationships on the server are queer: the fiancés, Niki and Puffy, Sam and Ponk, and depending on how you view them, Tntduo and Beeduo--this isn't even including the brief flings other characters have had with one another. Heteros are basically in the minority. There is a conglomerate of characters who go by different pronouns and/or genders (Aimsey, Eret, Ponk, Punz, et cetra). The queerness is so integrated into this world. In every narrative perspective, at that!

While not every single person who has a queer character has the same sexuality/gender/pronouns as their character, I heartily accept these streamers playing into a spectrum they don’t fall into. Not only to explore different, spicy dynamics, but also for the sake of, as I said, creating a world that makes it so normal. Because even in modern day, we're not quite there yet.

But with this total normalization, there comes a caveat, but what I find to be a good caveat. It’s that the queer relationships are ones that are flawed and broken. That these people are people who do bad things, even to each other. That their relationship might not end up with a fairy tale ending. Literally every single one is/has been severely damaged at some point. Now, of course, so many friend-/familial relationships are complicated in the server, as well. But that's what makes it so good: they're not afraid to make queer couples shitty.

A good amount of queer rep in other media, specifically for younger audiences--because a big portion of the Dream SMP's viewship is teenagers (though some more adult media can be like this, too)-- prefers to give gays characters happy endings. Mostly in modern day, they’ll give gay characters flaws but still make them good guys (look at all those queer coded Disney villains in the olden days i.e. the Renaissance Era. Though they were THE BEST!!). Bury Your Gays is our beloathed. You won't see a lot of family media have queer relationships that break off permanently or be abusive/toxic or anything too negative, especially so when it's at the forefront of the story. This all gives you an idea of how we anticipate queer media to be presented in the modern era.

But the Dream SMP flips that whole idea upside down. The Fiancés had a good relationship that fell apart due to strained dynamics between one another, especially with Quackity obsessing with revenge and power. Sam literally ripped off Ponk’s arm. Tntduo... whatever the fuck’s going on there. Even the one canon wlw relationship in the server is strained due to their different stances on L’manberg, et cetra (I don’t think they ever reconciled? I don’t recall). We are watching them fall apart before our very eyes, because with these moments, they are the main characters! And none of these couples are happy. They’re all pretty fucked up.

And I fucking love that. It highlights that even queer rep can have couples that aren’t just complicated, but damaged to an irreparable degree. It makes them feel even more normalized, by recognizing that any couple can be miserable or fucked up. Having young people witness that dating your fellow gay won't be all rainbows and sunshine, and in fact it can even be heartbreaking or even toxic, is something I think young people need to see more.

[pagesfromthevoid]

Adrian not realizing she wanted to hold his hand was so fucking cute oh my god

A Fucking Duck | a.c. | 3

Adrian Chase x Bat!fem!reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: So much language. Mild mentions of suicide. Threatening. Not a lot of Adrian but plot movement

Author’s Note: Ahaha woops look what I did. Also the next part might?? Have smut?? We’re gonna see I guess I cannot stop rn

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me!

Another few days had passed before she realized she never asked Adrian for his number. While their date may have been cut short, she was still wholly interested in whatever could come from the experience. Even if she had to literally force him to hold her hand after he’d been the one to bring it up. Regardless, she couldn’t even text him to ask him back out, which forced her to go back to Fennel Fields on a Saturday afternoon and hope he was working.

She slipped in the door behind a couple, looking around to see if he was out. When the hostess returned from seating the other two, she smiled at the hero politely.

“Here to see Adrian again?” The hostess asked with a teasing smile. “Or are you eating?”

“I’m not here to eat,” she quickly responded, looking around. “Is he working?”

“Shockingly,” she explained, stacking the menus. “I’m surprised Marty didn’t fire him for calling out Tuesday. But he doesn’t usually do that.”

She hummed a bit in response, nodding as the hostess continued talking. Her eyes caught a flash of light, and she stared blankly at the group sitting in the booth. It was the silver helmet that really caught her attention, and she had a rather violent urge overcome her as she realized who it was.

“Can I just run in the back and give him my number?” She quickly interrupted the hostess, looking at her with a polite smile. The hostess nodded, mentioning he was probably out the back door on his break.

Making a point to walk pass the group, she glanced over at them as she made her way to the back of the restaurant. Her suspicions were confirmed as she eyed the helmet and the idiot in bright red. The blonde woman caught her eye, her brow furrowing, but the hero was quick to walk into the kitchen and out the back door.

The scene that played out before her distracted from the convicted felon she absolutely just saw inside. Adrian was singing to himself, hands on his hips as he danced terribly. She watched for a moment before she cleared her throat. Caught off guard, he turned and stammered, turning red.

“I-hey! I didn’t uh, I didn’t hear you —,” he stuttered. “I was just celebrating. My ex got an abortion.”

She watched him with her brow raised. “You sure you’re not celebrating that Peacemaker is sitting inside right now?” She asked knowingly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Is that who that is? I had no idea —“

“I don’t know why you’re lying to me, you’re really bad at it.”

Adrian’s mouth shut as he looked down for a moment, figuring that he was caught. “It’s not Tuesday,” he suddenly realized, looking back up at her. “What are you doing?”

“I came to give you my number, since our date ended so abruptly,” she explained, boots scuffing against the ground as she kicked at the gravel. “But I don’t know if I wanna give my number to a guy whose gonna lie to me about stupid shit.”

Adrian wondered, briefly, if lying about being Vigilante counted as stupid shit. But it was only lying if she asked and he told her no, right? Right.

“No, no, I’m not lying. I’m sorry. I am excited that Peacemaker is inside,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I didn’t want…you said it was weird that I liked him, that’s all.”

“It is weird, but I don’t think it matters too much, honestly,” she extended her hand out, making a ‘gimme’ motion. Adrian’s brow furrowed as she huffed. “Phone, pretty boy.”

“Oh!” He fished it out of his pocket, handing it over. “You think I’m pretty?”

She rolled her eyes, taking it from him. There was a smile on her face though. “We’ve established that I think you’re a lot of things, Adrian.” Her eyes were glued to the screen as she typed her phone number in and added her name.

He liked how she said his name, he decided. It brought that tightness in his chest back, and he knew that was a good thing. She handed him back his phone, and he looked down at the screen. After a moment, he changed her name to add a sun emoji. He then held it up to show her.

His dopey grin made her grin in response, and she decided no matter how weird Adrian was, he was good.

“Why the sun?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest again.

“Because you brighten my day whenever I see you,” he said simply. She almost blushed in response but his next comment was, “And you’re hot.”

There it was. She shook her head and laughed as the door to the restaurant opened, with Adrian being yelled at to get back to work. The manager looked at her funny, telling her to get out of their area. She put her hands up, saying she’d see Adrian later and to text her.

She walked around the back of the restaurant now, hurrying to her car. Regardless of how sweet Adrian was, she was still angry. Actually, beyond angry as she remembered Peacemaker’s stupid face. With her phone in one hand and the other working on freeing her laptop, she called Bruce. It rang a few times before he finally answered, sounding exhausted.

“What is it?”

“Why the fuck is Peacemaker out of prison?”

Bruce grunted in response then sighed in frustration. “That’s what Waller was talking about then.”

Her laptop finally turned on as she opened it up, connecting to her hotspot. “What the fuck does Waller have to do with any of this?”

“She mentioned something about a mission, but I wasn’t terribly interested in dealing with her.”

“What was the mission, Bruce?” She demanded.

“I’m not sure,” he paused. She narrowed her eyes. “I just know that Peacemaker is involved, which means you can’t arrest him.”

There was something off in his voice though; a tell that he had when he was holding back information. That pause, when he has to come up with his lie. Bruce Wayne was Gotham’s best detective but, much like Adrian, he was a shitty liar.

“I heard about your incident the other day —“

“Yeah I don’t wanna hear shit if you’re not gonna tell me everything,” she interrupted, hanging up the phone.

The sudden knocking on her window caused her to scream, practically throwing her laptop into the passenger seat. Standing outside her car was the other woman who was seated with Peacemaker, looking terribly uncomfortable. The hero stared her down, moving to lock her door quickly then roll down the window just a crack.

“What do you want?”

“Amanda Waller wants to talk to you.”

“Fucking excuse me?”

“Listen, I’m just the messenger,” she quickly slipped the phone through the crack, putting her hands in her pockets awkwardly. “Please just go with it.”

The hero stared at the phone blankly, frowning deeply as she pressed the speaker button.

“Crossfire.”

Nope.

She took the phone off speaker, rolling up her window. “How do you know who I am?”

“Please. Anyone who almost kills the Joker is on my radar. Anyone who works for the Batman —“

“I don’t work for him —“

“I don’t give a shit what you do,” Waller snapped at her. She felt small suddenly, frowning deeply. “You’re going to do as I ask or I’m going to ensure that the world finds out who Crossfire is; do you understand me?”

“You think I care if the world knows who I am?”

“I think you care about Dick Grayson and Jason Todd, and you know that Bruce Wayne would be associated with you if others were to find out,” Waller pointed out, sounding entirely bored. “What about the bus boy? Adrian Chase, correct?”

That struck a nerve in her; the threats towards her found family. Against her friends and the people she cared about. Her threat against Adrian suggested that Waller had been keeping tabs, as well. And that didn’t sit well with the hero.

“You think threatening my friends and family is gonna make me work for you?”

“I think it’s going to persuade you to listen to me,” Waller countered. “I need someone to keep Peacemaker in his place; the team I assembled have their own abilities —you, however, are an actual superhero. I would not be asking you if you weren’t conveniently already there.”

“You want me to babysit the guy who killed Rick Flag?”

“Yes.”

“Or else you’re gonna fuck up my entire life.”

“Yes.”

“No wonder Batman fucking hates you.”

Waller laughed, which felt painfully unnatural. “It comes with the territory, Crossfire. Go back inside. Join the group.”

“I can’t do that; Adrian’s —“

“I’d get changed then.”

The line went dead and she sat there staring blankly at her steering wheel. Then she looked up at the woman standing outside her car. Opening the door, she got out, staring her down.

“You know who I am, don’t you?”

“I don’t know anything,” she quickly said, putting her hands up. “I’m just here to help.”

“Go inside.”

“Can I get my phone back?”

With a groan, she threw the phone back at the woman and slammed her car door. There was a mumbled insult her way as she left, and the hero moved to dig through her trunk. Fucking Waller, blackmailing her into doing shit. Fucking Bruce, lying to her. What the fuck.

She looked around for a moment, considering if it was clear enough if she could just…drive her car down the street and change in the backseat.

That’s what she ended up doing. She didn’t have much of an option.

It felt wrong storming into Fennel Fields with her Crossfire uniform on. It felt wrong to be there, mask over her face and black eye makeup covering up the space of her eyes. It felt wrong looking at Adrian, who looked like he was about to have a fucking heart attack as she slid into the booth next to the angry blonde chick. And it felt wrong to look Peacemaker in the eye and not absolutely punch him in the face.

Everything about this felt fucking wrong.

“Crossfire,” the oldest of the group greeted, his voice dulcet and disinterested. “Nice for you to join us. We were just —“

“Just give me the mission brief so I can go home and try not to slit my own wrists,” she interrupted, putting her hand up.

Peacemaker gave her a weird look. “You seem friggin’ thrilled to be here.”

“You.” She turned her attention to him, cocking her head to the side, pointing at him. “You don’t get to talk to me.”

“Why is the bus boy staring us down like that?” The bearded man asked, looking towards Adrian. He waved excitedly.

“That’s my friend Gut Chase’s little brother,” Peacemaker explained, giving an awkward smile and a wave. “He’s got mental issues.”

“That’s fucking rude,” she snapped protectively. The group gave her a weird look. She covered her face in annoyance. “What? He’s clearly just happy to see him. It is fucking rude.”

The blonde woman motioned for them to stop talking, zipping her lips. “Shut the hell up, both of you. None of us want to be here but we have more important shit to deal with.”

“And who the hell are you?” She demanded.

“Emilia Harcourt. That’s Economos,” she pointed at the bearded man, who looked incredibly unhappy. Then she pointed at the older guy. “That’s Murn, he’s in charge. And you’ve already met Adebayo.”

There was an awkward silence amongst the group, all staring each other down. She could feel Adrian’s eyes from across the room, and she had to do her best not to look at him. Or answer the text that she absolutely knew he had sent her; no doubt freaking out that Crossfire and Peacemaker were at his job.

They looked at her expectantly, as if she was going to reveal anything about herself.

“I’m not telling you my secret identity. Are you all actually stupid?” She asked, looking genuinely annoyed. “You can call me Crossfire or you can call me nothing.”

“I’m gonna call you a bitch if you keep acting like this,” Peacemaker commented, giving her a dirty look.

“You’re about to find out how much of a bitch I can be —“

“Oh my god fucking knock it off,” Harcourt snapped at them. “You’re here because we need all hands on deck for this goddamn mission. That’s it.”

“You haven’t even explained what the mission is,” she pointed out. Murn slid a file folder over the table to her.

“This is the mission brief. Take it home. Memorize it. Share it with no one.”

She slid out of the booth, snatching it her folder up. “Awesome. Cool.”

“That’s it? You’re just gonna leave?” Abedayo asked, frowning.

“That was the plan.”

She flicked off the group, with a pretty smile, sauntering out of the building. The moment she was out of those doors though, she screamed angrily and threw the folder on the ground. A string of profanities left her mouth as she cursed Waller, cursed Batman, cursed Peacemaker and every other fucking inconvenience in her life.

“God fucking dammit,” she screamed one more time, turning to snatch the folder off the ground.

Adrian stood about a foot from the entrance, watching her with surprise but awestruck look on his face. He waved awkwardly as she stood up straight, staring at him. She blinked a few times, chest heaving as she tried to calm herself down.

“Are you and Peacemaker a thing?” He asked, motioning inside.

“I would rather shove a cactus down my throat,” she responded bitterly, shifting her voice enough to disguise it. It helped that it was already hoarse from screaming. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Pretty much all of it,” he nodded some, but that smile didn’t leave his face. “It was pretty intimidating honestly. Maybe you’re not a duck.”

She blinked a few times, watching him for a long moment. “I…thanks, I guess, Adrian.”

Moving to leave, she heard him take a step forward. “How did you know my name?”

“Uh,” she cursed under her breath, glancing over her shoulder. “Peacemaker mentioned it.”

“Wait, really?”

Not wanting to risk it any further, she took off through the parking lot without another word. Adrian stood and watched her go, dots connecting in his head slowly as he considered everything he had just witnessed. Between her and Peacemaker, he decided he was going to have his hands full as Vigilante.

He was super excited about that.

———

Series Masterlist

———

Taglist: @ladybug023

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 7

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (woops the longest part yet)

Summary: You finally decide to lower your pride and talk things out with Bucky.

Warnings: SMUT IS BACK BABIES! Oral (f receiving), edging, orgasm denial, also lots of alcohol consumption, Bucky stalking you, annoying people I guess? Uhhh y’all might want to strangle me at the end lmfaooooo

A/N: I’m gonna be honest, every single time I update this I get nervous as fuck because what if this story starts to suck lmao but okay I just hope everyone’s still enjoying this story. Thank you for the continuous support like fuck??? People actually like reading my shit so I’m really flattered. Sending y’all sloppy kisses ‘cause I’m a hoe like that

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

"Uhh you might want to slow down on the drinks."

Mark was right about the bar serving the best drinks. It was actually a Mexican-themed bar which also served Tex-Mex food. The drinks were so good that the main course hasn't even arrived yet and you were already on your third frozen margarita.

"Let me have this, Mark. It's been a pretty shitty week." you told him, finishing up your drink before asking the waiter for another round.

Mark watched you with a funny look on his face, the kind that was baffled at the way you were acting now. He probably thought you were all prim and proper, given your demeanor at the office. But with the way you were stuffing your mouth with chicken quesadillas, you were far from being the department head that everybody seemed to respect.

Stress eating. That was what you were doing, because holy shit did you get on Bucky's last nerve. With the message, no, more like warning, that he sent you earlier, you might as well have your last meal before your execution.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mark carefully asked but there was a hint of amusement in his voice as he watched you eat.

You hummed, mouth full of food. "Totally okay. These quesadillas are the bomb, actually."

Mark laughed, "It's good that you're enjoying the food. I'll be honest, I really appreciate that you agreed to go on this date. I mean, if you even would like to call it that." he explained, much to your relief actually.

You swallowed your food and took a sip from your glass of water, "Thank you." you told him. "Well, this can be a date. A friendly one, of course." you awkwardly chuckled.

Mark nodded, "I don't want to pressure you into anything. I guess I got a little to enthusiastic earlier and I'm really sorry for that. It's just that...you're a really interesting person and you're cool." he admitted with a charming smile.

If Bucky was out of the picture, you would have actually swooned at Mark's charm. He wasn't so bad, he was tall and handsome. He oozed a certain charm, the nice guy kind of charm and any girl would really appreciate the honesty he was showing you now.

You smiled at him, "You're pretty cool too, Mark."

-

The friendly date was very fun, you definitely didn't expect to enjoy it to the point of forgetting about Bucky's warning. Mark was a nice guy, you realized. Bucky doesn't have to worry about him because it was never even your intention to make him jealous in the first place.

By the time the dessert was being served, you were bellowing from laughter. You literally had tears in your eyes from how hard Mark was making you laugh with his hilarious stories.

Little did you know that from someone else's point of view, you looked like you were having the time of your life with Mark. Your laughter, the ease you were exuding as the both of you talked-- it was very easy to misunderstand.

Especially if that point of view belonged to none other than Bucky, who was sitting silently inside his car that was parked right across the bar.

"Oh god, I can't breathe!" you exclaimed amid your laughter, leaning back against your seat.

Mark heaved out a shy, "That was really, really embarassing." he said timidly.

Mark's phone buzzed in the middle of the conversation, his face turning into a frown as he read the message.

"Hey, everything okay?" you worriedly asked.

"It's my younger sister. I'm needed back home." he explained with a sigh.

"Is everything okay?" you asked worriedly, holding Mark's arm to comfort him.

Mark nodded, "It's fine. It's just a little family emergency." he said before offering you an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I can drop you off on the way home--"

"Hey, it's fine. You can go. I'll be fine. Your family needs you." you reassured with a smile.

Mark sighed, "I'll make it up to you next time." he said, fishing out a couple of bills from his wallet.

You walked out of the bar with Mark and bid goodbye, giving him a friendly hug before he slipped inside his car. As soon as Mark drove off, you headed back inside the bar and ordered a couple of shots because you badly needed to get Bucky off your mind.

-

Your head was pounding when you stirred awake, your throat burning and vision spinning as you opened your eyes. The light that greeted you made you hiss, pulling the covers over your head you tried to get back to your slumber.

Until you realized that the bed was soft, too soft to be your own. And when did you even own a duvet?

Slowly but surely, you sat up and looked around you, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. This was definitely not your room. Shit, did you sleep with Mark? Fuck no, you remembered him going home early due to a family emergency.

You squeezed your temples and shut your eyes, trying your best to recall everything that happened after you went back to the bar. Flashes of tequila shots and glasses of mojitos made you dizzy. Jesus christ, how many did you drink?!

And then you threw up in the streets as you attempted to walk home. Shit. Someone pulled your hair back while you puked and then there was nothing but darkness.

Pulling the duvet down, you noticed that you weren't wearing anything but a white shirt and your panties. You lifted the shirt up to your nose and sniffed it.

The scent was too memorable to forget.

"I thought you wouldn't be up until the afternoon."

You stilled at the sound of Bucky's voice and you almost didn't want to look up from your lap when he walked into his bedroom. How the hell did you end up at his place?!

"Four frozen margaritas, two shots of tequila and two tall glasses of mojito. I'm surprised you're still alive." he said as he stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

He was wearing a tight black shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. This was the most casual you'd ever seen Bucky, but also the most feral. You thought that the scowl he gave you at the elevator was the worst, apparently, this Bucky in front of you, seemed the most dangerous.

"Why am I here?" you asked softly.

Bucky rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed side table, fetching the glass of water and a bottle of painkillers that you failed to notice when you woke up.

"Drink." he commanded and waited for you to take the glass before moving back to stand at the foot of the bed.

Your eyes never left Bucky's when you popped a pill into your mouth. After drinking water, you carefully placed it back on the bedside table and exhaled heavily.

"What happened last night?" you asked again.

"Your date left you." Bucky said, matter of factly.

You snickered, "It wasn't a date and Mark didn't le--"

Your very own squeal cut your statement off when Bucky threw the duvet aside, grabbing your ankle and pulling you towards the edge of the bed until your legs were hanging off. He didn't waste any time to kneel in between your thighs, holding your neck in place as his nose brushed against yours.

Your lids fluttered at the closeness, his scent yet again invading your senses, making you lose all your inhibitions because fuck, it's been too fucking long.

"Let me have this, please..." Bucky whispered against your lips.

When you failed to respond, Bucky took it as his go signal to crash his lips against yours. You knew this was a bad idea because one taste of Bucky and you're gone and yet you let him take what he needed from you.

Because you needed him just as much. So you kissed him back fervently, your fingers carding through his hair as you tugged him closer, wanting to feel and taste all of him.

Bucky breathily chuckled when you whined as he pulled away, only to shower your neck with open-mouthed kisses which made your body buzz with need. Your head was still hurting and you felt like you were going to pass out from dizziness but fuck it, you couldn't care less. Especially not now when Bucky was now nipping at your inner thigh while his hands were spreading you wide open.

All your thoughts flew right out of the window the moment Bucky pushed your underwear aside, his mouth quickly latching over your clit. A needy, raspy moan escaped your lips when Bucky sucked your bud followed by his tongue flattening against your folds.

"Fuck, Bucky..." you breathed out, falling down on your back as he continued lapping up your pussy.

You'd almost forgotten how fucking good Bucky was with his mouth and tongue. You elicited another whimper when he pulled back, but only to stand up and pull down his sweatpants, revealing his cock-- already hard and weeping with pre-cum.

In one swift motion, Bucky slid into your cunt. He leaned down to kiss you, swallowing your moans as you adjusted to his size. With how your pussy was clenching down on his cock, you realized that indeed, it's been too fucking long.

Bucky moved slow at first, letting you adjust to him before he began to speed up his thrusts. His breathing was erratic, soft grunts and growls reverberating from his chest as he fucked you. You gripped his forearms when he started pistoling his hips into yours, the head of his cock kissing your cervix.

"Want you to watch me fuck you." he growled, pulling you up to lean against your elbows.

Bucky held your neck with both his hands, forcing you to look down at your pussy while his cock slides in and out of it. Your face scrunched into pleasure, your mouth open as moans and whimpers continued to escape past your lips.

"Keep your eyes on my cock, see how your pussy takes all of it." Bucky demanded as he fucked you relentlessly.

Your thighs began to tremble, your entire body thrumming from pleasure. You tried to keep your eyes open as you watched Bucky fuck you fast and hard. Clawing at his biceps, you held on for dear life when you felt yourself teeter at the edge of your climax.

"Gonna cum, Bucky..." you moaned as your eyelids fluttered.

Bucky kissed your hard, taking your bottom lip in between his teeth before tugging at it. He pressed a soft kiss beneath your ear, licking at your skin before sucking your earlobe.

"Remember this when that Marcus fails to fuck you real good." he whispered and then pulled out just before you could even cum.

You blinked, unable to process what just happened. Bucky stood up and pulled his sweatpants back up. He rubbed his chin angrily before turning to you.

"You really blew me off to be with a guy who left you at the bar." he said.

Bucky really seduced you, fucked you raw only to edge you and deny you of your fucking orgasm. And now he was reprimanding you? While your legs were spread, panties pushed aside and your wet pussy out there for the world to see. You quickly adjusted your underwear, pulled your shirt down and sat up.

"What the fuck, Bucky?" you hissed. "First of all, his name is Mark. Second, he didn't leave me at the bar!" you exclaimed before you realized something.

"Wait, how did you know?" you asked, finally realizing that Bucky seemed to know everything that took place last night. "Bucky, did you follow me at the bar? Is this why I'm here?" you asked, standing up to come face to face with him.

Bucky shrugged, "So what if I did? If I didn't, you'd wake up in the streets, in your own vomit because again, you went for a guy who couldn't even bring her girl home. You should actually thank me." he said.

"Thank you!" you yelled. "I appreciate you bringing me back to your place. I really do." you said, calmly this time. "But can you please not bring Mark into this because he's a nice guy." you explained, squeezing the bridge of your nose.

Bucky snorted, "You call that nice? He left you!" he said again.

"He didn't! There was an emergency, for fuck's sake! He needed to go home and I said I can take care of myself." you said. "I shouldn't even be explaining myself to you yet I am because you're being really irrational right now." you scolded Bucky.

Bucky shook his head, "You really expect me to believe you? I saw how you laughed with him, how carefree you looked when you talked. How you caressed his arm and you're asking me not to bring Mickey into this conversation?"

You hid your face into your palms, "It wasn't a date, Bucky. We both made it clear. And he's a good person, I enjoyed talking to him. That's it. And again, it's Mark." you said through gritted teeth.

"Not a date my ass, you were flirting with him." Bucky accused.

You scoffed, "I wasn't flirting with him! I was casually talking to him like how a friend would! How hard is that to understand, Bucky?!" you exclaimed.

"You were never like that with me!"

"It's because we did nothing but fuck each other, Bucky!"

"That's why I wanted to make it official but you said no!"

"I already told you the reason why!"

"And yet you went out with a co-worker!"

"We're not just co-workers, Bucky. You're my fucking boss! The fucking CEO! How many times do I have to...you know what, it's useless for me to even explain it again to you." you said.

Bucky chuckled bitterly, "You're going to regret this." he said with a sinister smirk.

"Why can't you understand where I'm coming from?" you asked exasperatedly.

"Maybe because you won't let me help you." he said confidently. "And you know what I hate the most about this thing we have? It's that you want me too but you're too stubborn to give in. And you know what? I'll make sure you do." Bucky said, towering over you and staring deeply in your eyes.

"What I want, I always get."

-

The weekend passed by like a blur-- a huge, messy blur that made your head and heart hurt. You wanted to spend the weekend to ponder on things, to forget about Bucky even for just a while and now that was impossible after everything that happened.

You caved in first, that was for sure. And the thing is, you don't even regret it but then Bucky exploded and now everything seemed to have gotten worse. You understood why he was so mad at Mark, poor guy though, but he wouldn't even listen to you when you said that the date wasn't even a legitimate one!

"What the fuck did I get myself into?" you uttered under your breath as you sat in your car in the parking.

You began to analyze the situation you were in and drew out possible solutions to your dilemma. Nothing a good conversation can't solve, right? So maybe talking things out with Bucky properly would make things right. The previous conversations you had with him were always too emotional with both your egos getting in the way.

Alright fine, you'd tone down your pride for Bucky this time around and tell him that you do want to be with him. It's just that the repercussions scared the living daylights out of you.

You can't afford to lose your job nor everyone's respect. So if you were going to do this with Bucky, he has to understand that he has to be really careful. Everything must be done in secret, for the meantime at least.

"That sounds about right." you sighed, feeling hopeful that this might actually work out.

The shift in your mood gave you a little bounce as you walked into the building. You were confident that maybe Bucky was able to calm down over the weekend. Perhaps today was a good day to have a decent talk with him.

As soon as you reached your floor, you hurriedly went to your cubicle to drop your things. The earlier you get to talk to Bucky, the better. So as soon as you were done, you jogged back to the elevator excitedly, unable to notice how everyone seemed to be preoccupied gossiping about something.

Your heart was pounding as you walked along the corridor leading to Bucky's office. Fuck, you were really going to risk it all for one Bucky Barnes. You were a few steps away from the door, ready to reach for the knob when an unfamiliar voice called your attention.

"I'm sorry?" you asked, turning around.

"Sir James said not to let anyone disturb him right now." you were met with the presence of a blonde girl who looked younger than you, an intern maybe?

You nodded but then spared another glance at Bucky's office. "Yeah, I uhh need to talk to him. It's usually not a problem for me to barge into his office." you explained with a soft chuckle.

The girl made a face, "I'm sorry, but I'm just following Sir James' orders." she explained, walking around the desk near Bucky's office.

"I don't think we've met. Are you an intern?" you asked, trying to be as nice as much as possible.

The girl giggled, straight on giggled cutely and stood up again. She excitedly extended an arm for an overly eager handshake, "I'm Beverly. I'm Sir James' secretary. It's my first job!"

You blinked, "Oh...oh uh what happened to Amelie?" you asked, curious about Bucky's previous secretary.

Beverly tilted her head, "I don't know. I just got a call over the weekend from Sir James, offering me the job so I accepted it. I mean, he is pretty cute. Right?" she said in a soft voice.

Is this Bucky's plan? To hire a younger, more bubbly secretary who'd follow his every order? Someone who was the complete opposite of you? Because if this was his plan to get you to cave, it wasn't working. At all.

Sure, Beverly was pretty and young and very chirpy. But you were sure she wasn't Bucky's type. He was never into obedient little girls, hell, your defiance turned Bucky on. This was definitely not working.

You didn't know why, but instead of relief you felt even more nervous. Because if this wasn't Bucky's threat to you, what could it be? You snapped out of your pessimism, maybe Bucky came around over the weekend too?

Only one way to find out.

"Beverly..." you carefully said. "I'm just going to go inside. And don't worry, I'll make sure that Mister Barnes won't get mad at you. This is all me, alright?" you reassured.

Beverly pouted and sighed, "I don't know, because he was very clear with his instructions. And he's talking to--"

"I got you, Bev. I'm going in now." you said, cutting her off and then going straight for Bucky's office.

Taking in a deep breath, you pushed the door open and wasted no time to talk.

"Hey, I really need to talk to you. I thought about--"

"Oh, who's this little lady?"

Your eyes widened upon seeing Bucky in the company of another woman. She looked like she was around your age, except that she was taller and had legs for days. Her brunette hair reached past her shoulders in lovely waves. She was wearing a white chiffon blouse paired with a pair of black trousers and matching stilettos.

She oozed the charm of a lady boss. The way she carried herself reminded you of someone but you just couldn't point out who it was.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." you said, straightening up and turning to look over at Bucky who lifted a brow at you.

That fucking look of mischief.

"I told Beverly not to let anyone in." he said.

"I just wanted to--"

"Oh come on now, Bucky. Don't be so grumpy this early, you were about to call everyone for a meeting anyway." the woman said, turning to you with a smile.

Did she just call him...Bucky?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bucky rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah, well you're already here might as well introduce you first."

You narrowed your eyes at Bucky in confusion, "I don't understand what's going on." you said.

Bucky stood up from his chair and walked over to the other woman, standing beside her. Seeing them side by side was making you feel things. You haven't even seen them interact that much but you were already sensing that you were going to hate their dynamics.

"This is Mackenzie. I hired her to help us out on a huge project which I will be discussing with the entire team this morning." Bucky introduced a little too proudly for your liking.

Mackenzie offered her hand, "You can just call me Kenzie. I'm a marketing consultant. And you are?" she asked.

Your blood boiled, your eye twitched and your heart ached. Because now you realized who it was that Mackenzie reminded you of when it came to her charisma.

You.

And not only did she have a similar personality to yours-- confident and had authority-- but she also seemed to be here to take the one thing you worked so hard for.

You offered a smile, taking Mackenzie's hand in yours as you mentioned your name, your piercing eyes glancing over at Bucky.

"I'm the head of marketing."

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag​ @weird-mumbling​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​ @lostinthoughtsandfeelings​ @mostly-marvel-musings​ @squishybabies​ @megzdoodle​ @suchababie​ @annathesillyfriend​ @xhollycowx​ @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ @5-seconds-of-mendes​ @gogolucky13​ @countonthesun​ @iloveshawnieboi​ @learisa​ @borikenlove​ @scarlet-natasha89​

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​ @jessou893​ @stealapizzamyheart​ @bagelofthelord​ @mxnt​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​ @ohladymacbeth​ @wildflowergubler​ @supraveng​ @twinerd14​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​ @charminivy​ @amelia-song-pond​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished​ @tcc-gizmachine​ @sipsteacasually​ @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[yandere-sins]

Past and Future

Horrortober Day 2: Decision  |  “It’s your decision. Choose wisely.”

Day 2 woop! Got a chance to work on my Kazuha a bit more. I hope to write for him more in the future!

Warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Possessiveness, Stalking Mention Characters: Kadehara Kazuha x Reader

Kazuha couldn’t not notice the yearning in your gaze as you looked across the plaza at your old friends. These scumbags. Wannabe goody-two-shoes. Oh, how much he despised them. And yet, you longed for their laughter in your ears, the wrinkles in their eyes as they grinned and smiled at each other cheerfully. They were celebrating something Kazuha didn’t know about. But undoubtedly, you remembered after having been close to them since early childhood. 

And yet, you didn’t belong to their circle anymore. You hadn’t been invited to wine and laughter, food and celebration. Instead, you absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter, and Kazuha took that as a sign. “Come on,” he mumbled, watching how sadness overcame you with every passing second. Frustration and anger, but mostly disappointment, snaked their way into your expression. You had been so excited for today, going out with him, exploring Liyue Harbor with your boyfriend, but the mood was ruined now. 

When you didn’t react, Kazuha used his free arm to lay it around you, pushing you forward despite your feet being unwilling to move. Part of you wanted to go to your friends, to join them in their festivity. But without being invited, you were way too hesitant to approach, and it hurt you even more. Your head hung low as you two finally disappeared in the crowd of people working and shopping, the night market making for a great scene. Still, you couldn’t take it in anymore after remembering your past heartbreak now.

Kazuha wasn’t the type to leave you alone, never wishing to be separated from the warmth and comfort you gave him by being by his side, but in your depressed state, it was hard to do anything with you. Placing you on a bench, Kazuha left to get you something to drink. His mind was wrecking itself of how to help you as he bought your favorite, seasonal beverage, still hot and steaming in its cup, and brought it back to you. 

Unfortunately, no one heard the clattering sound as he dropped it, watching you talk with some of your old friends. When did they come over to talk? Why were they here? How did they notice you? Why now of all times? This was his evening. His time with you. And yet, you hadn’t been as happy with him all night as you were when you talked to them. Kazuha’s expression changed from worried to upset as he had to watch you laugh with them, even though the mood seemed awkward from afar. Maybe they were apologizing, or perhaps just trying to replicate the good old times with you, but you seemed very receptive to their presence, smiling in a way that you never did when you were with Kazuha. 

It had taken a lot to break you guys apart. Not willingly, but they weren’t a good influence for you. He had never done anything to them, but one day they had decided they didn’t like the way he looked at you. That Kazuha was too ‘possessive’ and that the ‘took up all your time’. They told you to stay away from the outsider, to ignore the soft, wonderful feelings you two had for each other—the strong bond you were forming with your boyfriend. Your friends decided he wasn’t good for you but were they really your friends when they made you choose between them and your love? Gods, he hated what they did to you. Hated how miserable they could make you. You had been so nervous and anxious after they started harassing you to leave him, crying at night and into his shoulder when you didn’t know what to do. The first time you said you loved him was while you were assuring him that you still had feelings for him; that being the reason why it was so hard on you to be forced to make this decision. It wasn’t a romantic moment, but one filled with tears. Kazuha would never forgive them for robbing him of his amazing confession from your lips.

However, in the end? You chose him—naturally. You chose him for this very reason. Because you love him. Kazuha never made you decide. Sure, he didn’t like your friends, but he didn’t go out of his way to engage with them. He only ever had eyes for you, following you whenever you met with your so-called friends and making sure you’d be safe from them. However, he was better than them, and even if they made you cry on your way home, he never once went back to hurt them just as much as they hurt you, even if his blood was boiling. Kazuha would rather spend his time comforting you, asserting his place in your heart, than stick to the ones who were desperately trying to tear him out of said place. 

But maybe he should have.

Maybe he should have demanded that you decide on one side. After all, you were already distancing yourself from these people that kept hurting you in the name of ‘only wanting the best for you’. He was the best for you. There was nothing that could be better for you than Kazuha. He was strong; he was safe for you. No one else tended to you as gently and lovingly as he did. Comforted you when you were down. You had to wear the burden of everyone around you, but Kazuha only committed to you and your worries. He was the saving grace and the helping hand you needed in your desperation. The person your friends should have been if you had actually mattered to them. 

In return, you were the same for him. You gave his life a meaning that he had long searched for. A new friend and a love to wake his lonely heart again. No one could ever stir him like you did, and he was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to be by your side, to warm you on cold nights, and to tell you about the past he never shared with anyone else. You were the listener he wanted; gave him the attention he needed. And Kazuha...

Kazuha wouldn’t lose you now. He couldn’t lose someone again. Not you.

Marching up to you and your friends gathering around, he listened to the meaningless conversation you had. “We’re sorry for saying such harsh things,” and “We were worried about you.” Loads of empty words, in his opinion. But seeing your eyes tear up at them made his heart sting and his blood boil all over again. It made him furious. Furious for you. You deserved so much better than these lies. They didn’t care about you!

Pushing through them without roughly, Kazuha only looked at you, finding your eyes instantly. You were surprised by his appearance but quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and returning to the silly, little smile you usually graced him with. One that was as empty as your friend’s words. One you adapted just to please him and not worry him further, but once he’d put an end to this, Kazuha knew you’d be able to smile at him properly again with a sincere one. 

“Choose,” he prompted, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion while your friends began to grow tense and murmur between themselves. 

“These people-” he made a vague gesture between the few gathered around, “-aren’t good for you, and you know it. They dropped you when you needed them the most while I’ve been with you all this time.”

“You can’t be serious,” you breathed, but Kazuha didn’t confirm your wish. He was serious, even if that meant upsetting you. This was for the best. “It’s your decision. Them or me. Choose wisely.”

“That’s unfair!” one of your friends cried out, upset about his intention, and Kazuha looked at them sharply from the corner of his eye, silencing them effectively. “It’s not unfair,” he shut their argument down, looking only at you as he spoke. “They made you choose first and broke your heart. I never have and never will hurt you. But I am not so sure about the people who already did it once.”

Kazuha’s words had impact; he could see it in your eyes. You, too, remembered the bad times that felt like your heart was ripped into pieces by the people you put so much trust in. And instead, it had been him who was there, making sure you ate and drank in your troubled times, and got rest when you needed it. Even if there was no luxury in his life, he still had been a better friend than any of them. Kazuha completely missed that he suggested dropping you the same way your friends had when he made you choose. He didn’t want to believe you would choose anyone over him after all he did for you. You belonged to him, and he belonged to you. That’s how love worked. 

“I love you.” 

A dirty trick. One that your friends couldn’t use. Kazuha directly pulled at your heartstrings, making you miss a breath as you grew even more blindsided. “I don’t want to lose you, again,” he didn’t hesitate to add, noticing how your friends’ faces grew worried and upset at his words. He was hinting at the bad time you two had gone through. The one that made a part of you die. But you only looked down, hands balling into fists as you felt conflicted. There was no need for you to wreck your pretty head over these nobodies, Kazuha decided, holding out his hand. You only needed him—as much as he needed you. 

Timidly, you reached for his hand, and he gripped yours tightly, pulling you up from your seat and after him, away from these fake friends and their fake worry without another word to them. “It’s better like this,” he assured you, dragging you through the crowd so you wouldn’t be able to look back at your past. He was before you, your future, and he wouldn’t let anyone take you from him and ruin this for you. 

But when you were unresponsive, he threw a glance back over his shoulder, noticing the tears streaming down your eyes. You two came to a stop as he turned around, cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss. Even though your hands came to rest against his chest, pushing, you never managed to escape his grip, forced to kiss him until neither of you could hold your breath anymore. Leaning his forehead against yours, you were left speechless, but not Kazuha.

“I love you. I love you so much. Promise me you’ll never go back to them.” It was hard to commit to that, but his hands grew tighter around your face, desperate to hear it. “You chose me,” he insisted, pain swinging in his voice. “You’re not leaving me.”

There was no way of saying where those emotions came from, but he didn’t give you time to think them over. This was the future he chose, by your side. And that night, you chose it too, even if you ended up not liking it once you found out that your friends had been right all along.

[sailorhyunjinz]

How do u think skz would react when you try to unbuckle their belt while cuddling?? ALSO I LOVE UR WRITING SO MUCH AHHHH

I saw this one TikTok here:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMey6JRXs/

THANK UUU OMG <333 and also that tiktok,,,, PHEW 

OK HERE GOES QUICK REACTION WOOP

Warnings; skz x gn!reader, SMUT, sub/dom!skz, slight fluff, handjobs, somnophilia, nicknames, orgasm (m), mentions of cum, choking. 

Bangchan

giggle central 

nah bitch you’re awakening a demon

theres this like,,, switch that flips??

so in the beginning its all cute yk,,, slowly feeling him up, tracing small figures on his abdomen before your hand lands on his crotch

UH OH ,,, danger zone ;))

you start palming him through the rough material of his pants, every touch getting him more and more hard until...

you unbuckle his belt with one hand

OOF he turns around in the speed of light, hovering above you

“is my princess/prince needy?”

you nod softly, feeling heat rush to your cheeks

“y-yes,,, could you help me?”

Minho

not shy, not me LMAO 

he enjoys this a lot

you know that like,,, smug smirk he does??? YEAH THAT

he even helps you unbuckle his belt just to make it easier for you to slip your hand in, jerking him off slowly as he squirms beside you.

“you drive me crazy y/n” he chuckles, closing his eyes gently as he enjoys your hand stroking his length, his tip already leaking.

“that’s why you love me” you answer back, minho always finding your wit extremely sexy 

shamelessly cums 

you look at him surprised when he cums faster than he usually does

“what? what you expect me to not cum when you do that? tsk,,,” he turned back around, taking your arms and wrapping them around himself.

Changbin

do you want to die? because you will from how turned on binnie gets 

not only is he excited as FUCK to be the little spoon but you treating him so well and offering to jack him off? HELLO? he’s swooning over you

a little bit like chan where it would be all fluffy and cute before the sound of his belt buckle echoes throughout the room and his eyes just fill with lust. 

i feel like these scenarios always start infront of a movie?? AHSHA SO LETS GO WITH THAT

alright, binniebaby is little spoon and wanted to play with him,,,yk,, wanting to see him all worked up 

you try to be as sneaky as you can, inching closer to his belt as he was intently watching the screen. 

suddenly his dark hoarse voice spoke;

“you want it so bad?”

BRUH SHIVERS 

you retract your hand but he grabs it, places it back and unbuckles his belt himself

“have your fun, baby”

Hyunjin

you know that fine line between innocent and horny?

yeah he lives for that

the thought that you can go from being all cuddly, nuzzling your face against his back to your hand secretly creeping down his body, tugging on his belt BRUH HE GOES FERAL

if he’s really tired or just not in the mood if feel like he would simply hold your hand or place it on his warm cheek

NAH BUT THINK ABOUT THIS;

him sleeping and you cuddling him, him being the little spoon

and you unbuckle his belt with utmost care, not wanting to wake him up

you start stroking his soft dick that gets harder in your hand

he shuffles awak, not really understanding whats going on until he’s just pushed by this feeling of pleasure

“wha- y/n?!” 

“shhh, dont move” you whisper in his ear as he blinks a couple of times, trying to wake up.

then he realises... 

he just laughs, his hair falling in his slightly puffy face

dont mind me missing my baby :((

Jisung

bruv do that and before you know it he’s the biggest sub you’ve ever met OOP SORRY

i believe in the fact that jisung is the biggest fan of handjobs AND YALL CANT CHANGE MY MIND

imagine one hand unbuckling his belt and the other one wrapped around his throat that’s already bruised by some wild sex you guys had days earlier

his body goes limp as his dick goes hard yall

he just melts in your hands, already whimpering from your hand palming him

you hold him against your chest by the neck, pushing gently on the sides as you plunge your hand down his pants, the buckle making a metal-like sound(?ok english master?)

you trace up and down his erect dick, feeling him twitch under your touch and he feels a bit shy when you chuckle

“d-dont laugh!!” he says, puffing out his cheeks as he’s curling his toes, your hand fucking his length

“how can i not? you’re adorable, ji”

the biggest blush spreads across his face as he bites his lip, trying to muffle a moan.

Felix

i get this feeling that he would just let it happen?? ;))

he’d pretend to not mind it / pretending to sleep 

but inside he’s freaking the fuck out

hard from just that LMAO

when you slip your hand inside of his pants he momentarily gasps, not expecting you to be so direct

“y-y/n” 

he starts getting shy, his words slurring the more you stroke him, running your thumb over his delicate slit that was already decorated with a bead of precum

the only word he’s able to form is your name :((

bruh he cums quickly, why? because he’s being held by you

feeling your warm presence behind him makes him feel both safe and vulnerable

Seungmin

ok at first he would grab your hand, placing it on his chest instead since little puppy wants to rest

do it again and he would turn around, look at you with those DAMN PUPPY EYES

“what you want? attention?”

the two of you laugh as he holds his hand on yours, you softly gliding it down to his crotch

“hm? nothing” 

you say, acting coy but seungmin only laughs

“i think my baby wants attention~” he cooes at you, booping your nose and you scrunching it up.

“n-no, i want you”

seungmin smiles lazily

“should i give it to you?” he says with a teasing tone as he guides your hand up and down his length.

Jeongin

SHIELD HIM FROM THE HORNINESS 

these teenage hormones flying all over the place 

his mind is like tv static for a second before he even registers what going on

BECAUSE HE DIDNT EXPECT IT??

the two of you were simply cuddling as you usually do,,, but he being the small spoon this time

and then boom, a hand around his dick

simply too weak for your touch so he doesnt even try to remove your hand

the teeeeny tiiiiiny whimpers that come out from his as soon as your touch his dick :((

that gradually become louder as you stroke him faster, him turning his head to the side, not wanting you to see how badly he’s blushing

“i wanted to cuddle,,, but this- this is fine too” he says, giggling and rubbing his hair in pleasure. 

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[loneworldgazer]

what if you were their personal helper?

a/n: im biased on all of these because basically you're special to them in a type of way

part 2

warnings: chapter 189-206 spoilers‼‼, suggestive, violence mentions

sanzu

you would be his personal cook that mikey assigned

you really worked hard at making the best dishes for sanzu (1. 50/50 chance of getting killed because you might never know with his pill popping ass and 2. you don't want to purposely mess up good ingredients)

sanzu though, really loves your dishes

he would say horrendous compliments like how he was about to have an orgasm biting into the steak minutes ago (rindou looks up at him from his laptop in disgust while ran scoffs in amusement)

ran suggested to maybe gift you something or pay a visit to whoever is cooking his meals and damn well sanzu was thrilled to hear that idea and was ready to work on it

(the haitani brothers thought the same, that you were probably going to shit your pants if bonten's number 2 suddenly appeared right beside you out of nowhere)

the very next day, his preffered time of lunch was much more later than the others so it's pretty normal for the others to not see him at the table and knowing that he's doing his own business

but this is completely different than what he usually does, he's looking for you! and there you were, in the flesh and busy preparing his meal

you look rather panicked, oh how many guesses he had. it was near his lunch time, you cooked the wrong meal, you're panicking about the slighest things or you thought you were doing it wrong

turns out you just wanted to cut the right size of tomatoes because you cut one ridiculously large chunk so you huffed and picked another tomato and nearly laughed at your stupidity

well sanzu was correct in some ways but you were just minutes away in finishing so he watched

with every second he stepped closer and the closer he got which was just right over your shoulder, you squeled because 1) creepy and 2) his breath was tickling your neck that you just had to make noise

you grabbed your wrist and your finger bled, in the state of suprise you accidently cut your thumb, luckily it was only a little so you rushed to the sink to wash it off

sanzu had a smile on his face, oh woops accidently shocked a poor person by breathing on them so the best he could do was offering a bandaid that was in his pocket

you glanced at his arm and saw the bonten tattoo inked on it so your eyes lit up in fear in why a bonten member is up infront of you

you gulped and he couldn't help but giggle to how terrified you looked and he twirled the plate that his food on it

"you're almost finished with my food, huh? quickly, you have a few seconds" you looked at him again but with genuine curiousity and suprise that said "sanzu haruchiyo? what is he doing here?"

your thoughts swirled in your head in chaos, finishing up his food and the waiter that were to take his food entered the kitchen

he froze in the doorway, recognizing the feared bonten 2 and sanzu asked him to go away by simply motioning it with his hand as well as adding in a "if you don't go, i'll kill you" by doing a slashing motion across his neck, you did not know how fast the waiter walked out of there

sanzu carried his plate towards the table your partners and you ate at and sat there, tilting his head when you stayed at the same spot

"sit here, i wanna talk" shitting your pants is a understatement, dying should be the right term

but no worries when you sat down, he smiled again with his eyes closed (though you're not sure what kind of smile was this, his rare ones? because if it is then you can make it out of here without being out in a grave)

let's just say he was interested in you and he said quite some nice words to you, this won't be the first time he'll crash into your life and have moments of talking to you after all, you're his cook right?

you're just lucky enough when he decides that you're one of the few pieces he'll cherish in his life, one he wouldn't kill but respect deeply and stick around with

kokonoi

you were his respectable assistant that deals with errands, well a more better term is a spy

you listened to conversations about bonten in the dark and sneak off to inform the others, first of all koko of course

your relationship between him was proffesional and all, reporting about what bonten enemies have said, nod and leave

but there was a time where he finally got to know you a bit better

you were a bit later than the time he asked for you to come to his office after your work, about 10 minutes atleast and he raised his eyebrow at you when you slipped into his office out of breath but quickly regain it as to not piss him off any further

"sorry sir, i got attacked" attacked you say? he got up from his seat, slowly approacing you and you sweat

overall his demeanor was cocky and all but you've never seen a scary side so supposingly it's okay for you to not feel threatened but would he really be angry at you for getting attacked?

"i don't see any bruises on you, did you really get attacked?" that sly grin showcased itself, he felt the taste of a lie coming but it didn't when you spoke up again

"i fought back sir, with this." you pulled out the staff, pressing the button to open it and twirled it over for him to see

it was the staff he gave, well actually showed off when he opened the weapons room, telling you to atleast get a weapon to defend yourself, if you can even though (he halfly joked at the end with his tongue out)

you told him that it was the gang that was still gaining these "leaks and secrets" or so to speak, are the ones rindou falsely put out in the open and the gang planned to go to one of the secret bases that bonten usually went to

besides what you say is necessary information but he circled around you in silence and decided to try to hit your head but you smack his hand away with the staff

he went for your neck but you swiftly wack the staff into his waist and he groaned, impressed

he was about to say something but sanzu interrupted by opening the door without knocking and almost bumped koko with the door

"heheh sorry, can i borrow your assistant, come come~" sanzu sung out but koko shooed him away, wanting some time to talk to you but pink crazed bastard wanted to talk to you so he shut the door on him and yelled at him to go away for a moment

after that day, more people seem to recognize and fought with you

it would pretty ironic if koko were to be the one ordering them to attack you

" i wanna see you fight more" whatever he says, you just hope it actually isn't him sending mofos to attack you because that would be a d!ck move

but he didn't, one of the bonten members revealed that a little spy is watching them from above like the idiots they were that they bumbled out their secrets for the spy to hear (guess who)

so he rewards you, after the hell you went through, you better be gifted

extra!!:

"may i measure you?" you looked back at the person in shock as they smiled warmly at you and you suspiciously glared at them, reaching slowly for your staff.

"sir kokonoi has asked to measure you." they went to stretch out the measuring tape and held it around your waist, you hesitated on holding up your shirt because of how ticklish and feathery their fingers were. this was all too sudden but you go along with it.

while you twist your shirt up, they placed a note in your back pocket and you questioned on why did they do that, you reached it while they're measuring your legs.

"i'll send someone in to measure your size for your clothing, do you also want lingerie to be part of your gift too?~" the note said and you nearly stumbled into the tailor when you tried rereading it all over again.

"what colour do you want? do you want a matching set?" "no!!"

(koko's probably pissing himself right now, trying to imagine your panicky expression, laughing like a maniac in his office)

ran

you worked as his personal maid and he admired how careful you were

you were pretty noticeable since you took your time on one thing at a time like dusting off shelves and cupboards for a long moment or scrubbing away at the dirt in the plate that stuck too long there (i mean it's reasonable but you stressed over it for a few minutes)

he approached at some times to check on you and he would smile sadistically at times when you look at him like a deer in headlights, wondering what you did wrong to make him approach you himself

he just wanted to praise and point out some of your habits which you rubbed your neck to and nodded to do better next time

it also gave him a chance to see your stretched arm and your hands, especially your knuckles more better than afar (not in a creepy way)

your knuckles were deep red and would have cuts over it and he would leave at that but it got too much for him whenever he came to you and it kept getting worse

he popped the question when you moved his flowers into a pot to sit in the sun when your hands were all bandaged up

"why has the condition of your hands worsen everytime i come to you?" so he did notice, you sighed and told him the truth while you rubbed your bandaged knuckles

"people are picking on me so hitting their faces makes my knuckles hurt and become ugly each time i return back here" he was suprised that you even used your fists and he held your hands and spoke softly

"you didn't use the baton i gave you?" you feel yourself burn, you had to pull away from him and you wanted to jog off into the sun but you akwardly shrugged instead

"i'm a lot more used to using fists to fight plus i.. might have hit my face with the baton once" his laugh was sugary sweet, the rarest you've ever heard but he was laughing at your mistake so you bit your tongue and fumed, going back to arranging his flowers (that he's probably allergic to but keeps them around cause they're pretty💀)

he patted your shoulder, casually correcting himself that it was cute that atleast you did try to use the baton that he lended to you

"i'll teach you, every evening at around 4, i'll train you to use the baton so it's less work for your fists and more for your baton." you responded that mikey had his meal around that time and you had to clean the table cloth after he eats, shyly you admit that he tends to be a little messy when eating

ran smiled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and going off after insulting you one last time

"i'm impressed that you're more careful with the table cloth than your own hands" and that ends the evening with you screaming into your hands because of how frustating, ran haitani bonten executive was

extra!!:

"now i really need you to be honest with me, how do you even fight with your fists?" "your brother teaches me how to break their limbs but i accidently graze the floor sometimes because of how tough the enemy is"

well that was pretty shocking, he looks at you with suprise in his eyes, you also looked at him suprised, you just didn't know how expressive he was and you're finding out about them because of these 4pm sessions.

"doesn't he have a maid that helps him out?" "he says i make great coffee" ran grumbled that you shouldn't even serve a fucker who drinks coffee in the first place and you couldn't help laughing. in exchange for the love of coffee, rindou might as well train you. he's not blind, he sees the bruises on your hands when you return back to the headquarters.

(and to maybe trigger ran a little since he was the one mainly teaching reader his fighting style and not ran and his lame ass baton and he just stole his maid for a few seconds, might as well train them as a reward)

"show me a better compliment and i might stop serving him" "you're good with your hands" you smirked and got up and tapped his shoulders with the baton, teasing him into giving you more compliments

"shut it now before i use my hands to shut you up" "you may at anytime" and he did, now you can imagine what he did lol

[215-luv]

may i request kita, kuroo, osamu, semi, suga, and iwa calling just to say i love you?? i’m sorry if it’s a lot, you can remove some of them!! thank you sm ^^

KITA, KUROO, OSAMU, SEMI, SUGA AND IWAIZUMI CALLING JUST TO SAY I LOVE YOU

kita shinsuke

kita just thought about it during practice

he suddenly felt thankful for a moment and excused himself to call you in the locker room

he taps on your contact name and waits for you to answer

“hi shin!” your voice rings from the phone

kita smiles, “hey, love.”

“why’d ya call?”

“i just wanted to say that i love you so much. you mean a lot to me, and i’ve never told you this but you made me so happy eversince we both got together,,

you freeze, cheeks dusted with a blush of pink

he continues. “so thank you, y/n. i promise you that i will keep our love forever.”

there was a brief pause before he hears you stuttering

“s-shin...”

“yes?”

you sniffle, “I LOVE YOU TOO BABY! SO SO MUCH!!” the tears sprints out from your eyelids in a heartbeat

though you were crying like a baby, kita couldn’t help but grin

he thinks you’re so adorable

he honestly couldn’t wait to have you in his arms by the time practice ends

kuroo tetsuro

this mf just wanted to fluster you

so why not call you out of nowhere in a hot saturday

knows the exact words to tease you. it’s in his nature to give you a whole ton of pick up lines

so he calls you

apparently while kuroo was waiting for you to pick up, he suddenly had a thought

maybe he didn’t want to tease you

maybe he just wants to.. be serious about what he feels for a moment

he got kinda emotional but let’s pretend we don’t know that

you finally pick up, “hey b-

“i love you. so much.”

“t-tetsu..??”

he smiles, “i said i love you.”

“.....”

“kitten, say it back.”

he knew how baffled you are by now as the line stays silent

“i-i love you too..”

plus points to your boyfriend for making you flustered

miya osamu

osamu was laying his bed while having atsumu snoring from the other bunk

he had his arms behind his neck, and for a while he’s been bringing back some memories shared with you

some made him smirk, chuckle, and some gave him a huge grin

and he’s just like, yknow what? i miss y/n. i’ll call them and tell them how much i love them

when he calls, you pick up almost immediately

“samu! wh-“

“y/n. i love you. so fuckin much.”

“w-“ “i will marry ya someday. i swear.”

the moment you heard those last words you felt your vision blurring, “s-samu..”

he chuckles, “aren’t ya gonna say it back?”

“i love you too! so so so so so much!”

your reply made him cackle, ignoring the short murmur of atsumu calling him a simp

woops

semi eita

semi is so romantic

when he saw you being surrounded by his teammates, who’s completely enjoying your presence, he just spaced out for a while

he’s completely baffled, like wow. i’m so lucky to have you.

he kept on thinking about it until he plops himself down to his bed, looking up the ceiling and still having the thought of you being his s/o

so he decided to tell you about it. he wants you to know that you mean so much to him

“hey baby.”

“hi eita!! how are you??”

“i’m great babe, how bout you?”

“doing as great as you!”

he chuckles at your enthusiasm, “i’m going to tell you something. you better keep it a secret, kay?”

“hmm, okay.”

he puts his phone close to his lips before whispering the words, “i love you.”

you laugh, “you called me just to tell me that?”

“am i not getting an i love you back?” he pouts

“of course you are! i love you SOO MUCH BABY!”

god, he loves you so much for that

sugawara koushi

the sweetest boyfriend alive

suga loves doing affectionate things in the most random times

he does it on a daily basis

so it wasn’t a surprise, but it’s just that he really does it in the most unexpected times

for example, today

he calls you as he’s taking a break from studying for an exam

suga surely knows you’re studying too!! so he wants to reassure you that everything is okay

“sweetheart? why did you call? are you okay?”

“it’s nothing!” he exclaims. “i just want to tell you something.”

“what is it?”

he grins, “i love you, y/n l/n. more than anything in the world.”

all that made you blush like a tomato, without having to think of an immediate reply

“s-shut up..”

“hm??”

“...”

“....???”

you pout, “..i love you more..”

“that’s what i needed to hear!”

iwaizumi hajime

the moment iwa saw you waiting for him to finish practice he was honestly touched

imagine the way his mind went crazier when you hand out an energy drink for him and his favourite snacks

you got him so soft for you, you don’t even know :(((

he’ll kiss your forehead when you separate ways, then think about it as he enters his abode

still thinks about it during dinner- then when he takes a shower- then when he’s about to sleep

iwa COUDLNT SLEEP. its been in his mind ALL DAY

“fuck it”, he murmurs. then reaching his phone to call you

suddenly regrets it when he hears your soft yawns. he frowns at the thought of waking you up at this hour

but he has to do this. or else he’ll actually explode and go crazy again :,)

you stifle another yawn, “hajime?”

“hi baby. i’m so sorry to wake you up.”

“iths owkaaayy....” you slur, “why did you call honey? is everything alright?”

he exhales, “it’s just.. i wanted to tell you how much i love you.”

“i love you y/n. so much. thank you for being with me.”

you grin, “i love you more hajime, thank you for being with me too.”

that night, your boyfriend sleeps in peace with a lil smile etched on his face

[eldritch-araneae]

Sparkpulse: Arrow of Time, Part 2.

<- Previous | First | Next ->

The Detroit Interplanetary Spaceport is busy as usual. Bumblebee is going to his shuttle bound to Mars. He wants to go home after a long week he spent doing serious work on Venus. Sometimes being the Senior Life Warden is just like that.

On his way home, was visiting Spike’s grave as he does every year for 150 years. Though “grave” is a huge tree. Humans stopped burying their bodies in caskets to preserve them, instead they return to nature after death. Bumblebee still misses him a lot, but he accepted his passing and made peace with this pain.

Suddenly someone bumps into him from behind. The dragon turns around and sees a taller beastformer in the alt-mode with blue plating and bright green optics.

“Woops, sorry!” they apologize, but then something unexpected happens. As mech looked at Bee, they froze in place, staring into his optics. Bumblebee stared back at them. A strange feeling fills his spark as he senses what the other is feeling right now.

A sense of familiarity? Affection? Have they meet before?

Sure, Bumblebee has his hand in the creation of cybertronians, but he rarely meets new mechs in person. He puts a spark inside the pod and leaves, as the pod finishes the forging without him. Cybertronians emerge fully developed and with basic social skills and wisdom. Sari often jokes about how he’s essentially a pollinator because pods look like flowers. He likes the idea and finds it comforting instead of being an all-powerful god.

“Ah! I’m sorry again!” the blue beastformer was the first to snap out, swinging their long and flexible tail and twitching rabbit-like ears. “I didn’t mean to stare!”

Bumblebee smiles. He is not upset over this. He used to people looking at him all the time.

“That’s alright. Are you okay, though? Judging by force you collided with me, it was quite a fall.” He’s carefully inspecting them for injuries and easily recognizes their alt-mode.

A jerboroo!

That’s a cute animal that looks like a combination of jerboa, kangaroo, and rabbit. But looks are deceiving as they’re armed with paralyzing venom they inject through long fangs. They aren’t visible, but jerboroos can open their maw wide, like a snake. This animal is fast. Strong legs allow them to leap far, and he notices a small engine on their back.

A hybrid of an animal and a vehicle.

“I’m okay!” the jerboroo reassures him as they place their hand behind their head in an awkward yet carefree fashion. “I just got distracted and tripped over my foot.”

Before Bumblebee could reply, the voice announces that the shuttle to Venus will depart soon.

"I’m gonna miss the shuttle!” both mechs exclaimed at the same time in panic. They exchanged looks with realization. Bumblebee grabs the other by the hand and two idiots are springing towards the right gate, attracting many looks in the spaceport.

The two made it just in time and sat next to each other before the takeoff. Once the shuttle climbs to the Earthian Orbit, it went through the Space Bridge and teleported to the fourth planet of the Solar System. Interplanetary shuttles are like space buses: traveling to the planet is fast, but it has a lot of stops on the planet itself.

Bumblebee’s stop is the last one on this route, so it will take a while. He usually sleeps it though, but this time he has company. He just met the green-eyed mech, but something tells him they will be friends!

“By the way, I’m Rubble.” They said, sharing the same feeling.

“Selene or, if you’re comfortable, Bumblebee.” he introduces himself, despite everyone knowing his names. Manners are still manners. “Nice to meet you. "

They spent their time talking about random stuff as stops go by.

-----

"By the way, what happened to you when you forged the last generation? I wanted to meet you, but I was told you got sick?” Rubble asks.

“I did!” Bumblebee snorts. “Creating around 250 species of flora and fauna of all kinds, then forging over 100 cybertronians in one day is bad for my health.”

“Why did you do that?! I mean, you gotta rest!” Rubble was horrified by Bumblebee’s self-neglect.

“Overenthusiasm.” a simple reply sends both of them into a laughing fit. “After that, Windblade and Sari always drag me to rest.”

------

“Saturn sounds lately like it’s choking or something.” Rubble says. “I wonder why.”

“It’s probably still mad over the fact that Starscream convinced me to steal its moons for Mars and Venus.” Bumblebee chuckles.

“You did WHAT?!"

“I don’t know what Starscream has against Saturn, but for months he was persistent in stealing moons from the ringed gas giant. That’s how Venus has Iapetus and Mars has Mimas besides Phobos and Deimos.” He says in an amused tone.

 It was a hard undertaking, but at least no one on both planets complains about the lack of moon in the sky anymore. “By the way, are you working in the space field?”

“Yes, I work at NASA and do stuff like sonification of electromagnetic waves or colorize images from our telescopes and such.”

“That’s amazing! Reminds me of my old friend.”

------

“Whoah, you used to work as marshaler at the airport?” Rubble asks in amazement.

“Yep, I was both “Follow Me” Car and marshaller in a few Detroit airports. I liked how I, a small at the time car, would escort a large passenger plane.” Bumblebee smiles nostalgically.

“Agree, it has its charm.”

------

They kept talking until Rubble realized they had missed their stop.

“Oh stars, this is my fault. I’m so sorry!” Bumblebee apologizes, feeling bad for distracting his new friend. He should have asked which Rubble’s stop is, but they were enjoying each other’s company so much they didn’t notice the passage of time.

“That’s okay, I really should have paid attention to the announcements.” they sigh. That means they have to get off at the next stop and wait for the next shuttle on the way back. Which will take a while.

“I will make this up for you!” Bumblebee says with determination igniting in his optics while typing a message to Windblade and Sari.” How about you stay at my place and go home tomorrow? We have enough space for guests.”

“Awww, you’re too kind!” Rubble smiles. Normally they would decline an invitation from a stranger. But Bumblebee doesn’t feel like one to them. “Thank you very much! I hope other Life Wardens won’t mind."

Bumblebee looks at replies from home and smiles. "Oh, believe me, they are totally okay with you.”

They entertain each other until the last stop.

------

This dusk began with bad news. Insecticon observations showed a grim picture for jerboroos and related species. Their population dropped drastically in the past few months and today was proclaimed endangered.

Bumblebee is reading fresh reports to figure out the cause. It’s not caused by a disease or a balance shift in the ecosystem. It’s nothing to do with energon either. And Cybertronians rarely hunt them because of their toxins. The only logical conclusion left is poaching.

All reports contain one crucial detail - all dead animals had their toxin generators removed. This must be the reason, but why? It’s possible to milk an animal for poison without harming it. Unless they want not just poison, but the entire system.

The dragon scowls, remembering his time dealing with human poachers and trophy hunters. Autobots worked hard to prevent it, steering humanity closer to conservation and keeping the balance in the ecosystem. Hunting is essential to maintain the health of the environment and feed communities, and the rich should never tarnish it with their dirty hands like anything else.

But the rich stopped existing by now. There are no billionaires, monopoly is illegal, hoarding is illegal, people don’t have to work to survive and politicians are held on the short leash. So who are those poachers and what they’re trying to achieve?

Seeing this come back is a bad sign.

His first idea was to poke Swindle. This guy is always ready to jump into shady business for profit and always knew what happens in the societal underbelly. But even he has standards and was disgusted with the news. The salesman knows nothing about it, so poachers are keeping it to themselves, staying out of people or Insecticon sight. 

The investigation got stuck, stressing Bumblebee out. He sighs deeply, sinking into his chair.

“Bee! Sari!” Windblade’s urgent voice calls for them as she rushed inside their house. He jumps from his seat and runs into the corridor to see her, holding a trembling Rubble by her side.

“What happened?!” Bumblebee asks, seeing and feeling the enormous stress coming from both mechs. This can’t be good. Rubble is trying to say something, but bursts into tears as a terrifying realization hit them. Seeing their state, Bumblebee and Windblade prioritized their wellbeing. They guide Rubble to the kitchen, where they found Sari, who was in the middle of her snack and didn’t hear them come in.

“Eek!” she jumps in place, dropping her spicy chicken taco. She struggles to catch it for a second, practically juggling her snack. After securing her food, she glares at the group. “Guys, you can’t just materialize in the kitchen like this!”

Sari’s reaction was amusing enough to calm Rubble down. “Sorry…” they mutter quietly.

Her expression changes after seeing their upset face. “Wow, what happened to you?”

Rubble said nothing, only shutting their optics shut and turning away.

“Okay, how about you eat first? Food always improves the mood!”

“We had the same idea.” The dragon said as he moved to their food storage and pulled a container with delicious homemade energon soup. While he prepares it, Windblade guides Rubble to the seat at the dining table.

After he’s done, Bumblebee places the plate with the soup in front of them. It illuminates a soft deep blue glow, with copper and iron inclusions. Like Sari said, eating eases their nerves. Windblade sighs in relief and sits down by the table, grabbing rust sticks on the way. Bumblebee and Sari also sit down.

‘I found them injured earlier.’ Windblade said to Bumblebee and Sari via telepathy. ‘There was a nasty stab wound on the side, and a lot of cuts over their hands. I healed them with Bee’s powers and brought them home for safety.’

‘The hell?! Why Rubble? They're like the most innocent person around.’ Sari’s eyes widen.

‘Who did this?!’ Bumblebee is holding himself back from bursting into anger like a volcano. ‘This person is in deep trouble.’

‘I asked, but as you saw, they’re in a terrible state to talk.’

‘Rubble should stay with us.’ Sari says. ‘They tell us later once they feel safe.’

Bumblebee nods, then looks at Rubble. “How about you stay with us for now?”

“R-really?” Rubble perks, swinging their tail from side to side. “Thank you!”

------

Rubble settled in a guest room. At first, they were afraid to set out of the house, but Windblade did a great job of reassuring them and mitigate the physiological damage. After a week, they gathered the courage to tell what had happened.

“I was on my way home. Suddenly, I felt something was coming from behind to harm me. I turned around and saw a blue mech with an orange face dashing towards me with a blade! The mech sliced my arms when I tried to protect myself. I pushed the attacker away, but he was fast, and stabbed me to the side.”

“What happened after? When I came, the attacker was gone.” Windblade asks, carefully monitoring their mood.

“I was bending over, clutching the wound. I felt the danger coming from above, he was about to finish me! To save myself, I transformed and bit his arm. He screamed and flailed, then run away. I was getting weak, and I thought I’m gonna die, but then you came!” Rubble’s optics filled with tears. “I don’t know why he did this, I bothered no one. I don’t wanna die!”

Life Wardens hug them tightly, letting them cry their spark out. Rubble felt terrified because of near-death experiences, yet relieved because their new friends were here to protect them. 

Bumblebee could feel those emotions, along with ache and anger, coming from Windblade and Sari. They knew this accident is related to a poaching case… but this time the perpetrator made a mistake.

“I’m gonna beat this guy’s ass so bad he’ll never be able to sit again!” Sari was the first to break the silence after Rubble calmed down, making them smile.

“Can you send me a picture of him from your memory banks?” Bumblebee asking for a crucial clue. This makes the case finally go.

“Sure!” Rubble nods. “Please, be careful.”

------

Rubble quickly grew accustomed to their new home, Yggdrasil, as their curious and playful nature surfaced after the two more weeks. They’re out exploring every corner of the sanctuary and saying “hi” to every little thing, and even creating more connections with people who come by, like Cheetor or Skyfire.

Life Wardens adore Rubble and easily accepted them as part of their little family without realizing it. There is just something very familiar about the jerboroo, but none of them can put a finger on it.

One time Bumblebee took Rubble with him to the scientific event. Not only to bond with Rubble more, but also to seek more clues. They were talking about various science topics until a blue and golden-looking bird beastformer interrupted them.

“Senior Life Warden.” the beastformer says to Bumblebee. “I never thought you would leave your tree and come into public.”

“I could say the same about you, Metalhawk. The observatory is practically your home.” Bumblebee grins, making the other laugh. Despite the light mood, the dragon isn’t thrilled with the bird’s presence.

“Can’t argue with this.” Metalhawk smiles, but his expression quickly changes to series. “I want to know something, now you’re here.”

“Yes?” Bumblebee frowns, knowing where this conversation will go.

“Are planning to take your seat in the Solarian Council?”

 “As I told you before, I have a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders. Especially now with poachers on the loose!”

“But didn’t you make the entire system of organizations take away some of your workloads?”

“Why are you keep asking?” Bumblebee breathed out harshly. He’s tired of having this conversation over and over.” Is this about Starscream?”

“Yes, Selene!” Metalhawk exclaimed loudly, making many people look at them. Everyone stayed silent until everyone went on with their business. “Every person there is the highest rank of their every sector. Except for you, sending in your stead Starscream who is too ambitious and arrogant. You’re the eldest among us, and you’re very experienced. We need you!”

“If you need my insight, you can always call me and ask. There is no need for me to be there. As I said, I have a lot of responsibilities, and even with organizations, my hands are full.”

Metalhawk looks at Bumblebee with a disappointed look. “Out of all people, you are the one who must lead.”

“And I simply don’t want to. I don’t want to be on a pedestal again.”

“This will be different, you have therapy and --”

“No!” Bumblebee’s expression changed from furious to pained. “I can’t do his. I’m still recovering. What I went through is not something I can snap fingers and make go away.”

The tension hanging in the air. Rubble’s gaze jumps between two mechs until they spoke. “I think you should have more faith in the people surrounding you, Metalhawk. Starscream might be arrogant, but he’s a good friend of Bumblebee!”

Metalhawk looks at them with a surprised face.” You speak confidently, but how can you know though? I have never seen you before with any Life Wardens.”

“I just know. Starscream helped Bumblebee many times. Isn’t this right?”

The dragon also looks surprised. What Rubble said was true, but the fact they know! They didn’t meet Starscream, and he told nothing about him yet. Strange.

“Starscream is a good friend.” He said.” And he’s good with politics. That’s why I elected him into my position.”

Metalhawk sighs in defeat and starts walking away. He turns to look over his shoulder at the dragon. “I hope you’re right.”

Bumblebee and Rubble walked home in silence. The conversation was bothering him, he hates how some people won’t accept “no” as an answer. But he won’t comply. He will keep doing his job, the duty that was assigned by his creator without asking, on his own terms.

“By the way, ‘Selene’?” Rubble asks, hoping to distract him. “I saw people usually refer to you by this name. I thought you were always called ‘Bumblebee’, no?”

The dragon smiles. “Yes, but once I took on my role again, some people thought my name was too cute and affectionate to use for formal settings and people who weren’t close to me. Eventually, people started referring to me by my title… which I didn’t like much. After all, I’m just a person doing the job I was made for. I don’t wanna be on a pedestal for this.”

“Ah, understandable. How did you choose it?”

“I listed all the names I was given in the past for people to pick up. There were a lot of discussions and votes, but soon, they agreed on Selene. It sounds almost identical to the human Greek Goddess of the Moon, and I wear a lot of night and moon aesthetic on holomatter avatar, so it fits.”

“That’s so cool! And yes, you always look stunning in your dresses. You have excellent taste in fashion.” Rubble smiles widely.

“Thanks!” Bumblebee always ‘blushes’ whoever compliments his little interest. “So now I’m officially registered as Selene, but friends and family still call me Bumblebee. I’m okay with this.”

------

Bumblebee glances to the side and sees a figure watching them intently. He feels hesitation coming from the figure’s spark. This is very suspicious. The dragon scowls and leads Rubble away.

Windblade and Rubble walking thorough Yellowknife Bay in their alt-modes. The jerboroo curiously observed her changing form. Her spark is reconstructing the body, shifting from a VTOL jet to a dragon. Her main body is fully formed after countless molting. She has blue fins on her limbs, tail, and sides of her head. The top of the head is crowned by golden antlers, and the top has a lure, emitting a soft lilac light. The wings are the only parts that are in the process of changing.

“So, how long before you’ll be able to fly again?” Rubble asks. “I bet your wings gonna be huge!”

She slightly moves her wings. “Yes, I’ve been stranded on the ground for months. I don’t feel my jet fans anymore, so I’m guessing the final molt is soon.”

“Ohhh I can’t wait to see your final form! It’s curious how a lot of cybertronians are forged to be animal and vehicle hybrids. Meanwhile, you’re dropping all vehicle parts.”

She chuckles. “True, life is filled with unexpected results. Bumblebee and I have been speculating a lot about my future alt-mode. Because I was forged on Caminus, the water world, it has an immense influence on turning my alt-mode aquatic. Yet still able to fly.”

“Sounds exciting!”

They walk for a while until they reach Sari, talking to Skyfire.

“All populations are doing well here! Bumblebee will be pleased.” Sari says, examining the datapad. She looks at up the tall white hybrid wyvern in his root-form. “You did great, Sky!”

“Thanks! I love this job. Observing animals and plants for research is so relaxing.” He says, swinging his tail side to side.

“I’m glad you are enjoying the process.” Windblade says as she approaches with Rubble.” Your help means a lot to us, especially for Bumblebee. We don’t want him to get sick from overworking.”

Starscream appears from the clouds and lands near the group. Skyfire is so happy to see the dragon, he picks him up and twirls around like he weights nothing. Starscream yells and tries to appear annoyed, but everyone knows it’s a mask. Skyfire puts him down, just making it more apparent how big the white wyvern is.

“Oh look, your date has finally arrived,” Sari smirks.

“What are you talking about?! I came to take Skyfire back to the lab to work!” Starscream protests, obviously flustered.

“You can always flirt between your works~” she puts her hands under her chin, making the most gremlin expression known to humankind.

“I’ll punt you to the Sun!” he pouts even more, making everyone laugh. Then two dragons flew off, leaving Life Wardens and Rubble behind.

Before they could say anything else, Rubble noticed the same figure from before, watching them in shadows. They quietly motion with their optics, directing Sari and Windblade’s attention.  

“You! What do you want from them?!” Windblade shouts angrily, then dashes at the figure.

The figure yelps in surprise and hurriedly transforms into a winged ursagryph and takes off. Windblade couldn’t chase him, but she took a good look at him so they could identify them.

-----

“So, what do we have?” Sari asks as Life Wardens and Rubble gathered in the main room back home.

“The stalker’s name is Darksteel. He’s the only person with ursagryph alt-mode, so he was easy to identify.” Windblade says, showing the blue mech with wings. “He seems harmless, but he was sighted near places where mass poaching has occurred. The inspectors tried to catch him already, but it’s tricky. He’s nimble and knows well when to use his small jet engines to escape.”

“And the one who assaulted Rubble is Quake,” Bumblebee says, showing several pictures of where he was sighted. “He’s also under investigation, but yet to be caught. Thanks to Rubble’s health logs, investigators could determine it was him killing jerboroos with his blade. Many clues point that he’s the leader, but unlike Darksteel, he hides very well.”

“I heard investigators also found big stashes of jerboroo neurotoxins with fangs and toxic sacs, hidden in several locations.” Sari huffs. “And they know it because some poachers got hospitalized. This stuff can easily kill if handled poorly. Sadly, they know little about their leader. Though I wonder if Quake is still alive after Rubble bit him.”

“So, I was targeted because of my alt-mode?” Rubble asks, anxiously holding their tail to their chest.

“Yes, I’m afraid,” Bumblebee says as he put his comforting arm over their shoulder to pull them closer.

Rubble hums in thought. “Seems like an organized crime… but why? What they’re gonna do with those toxins they gather?”

“That’s a good question… Darksteel is the one who people have seen the most, so I would go for him. We just need to figure out how to catch him. He can’t run forever.” Sari says.

After thinking for a minute, Bumblebee asks, “Which generation is Darksteel from?”

“The last one you pollinated.” Windblade answers. “Very fresh, he may be learned some tricks, but he won’t be as experienced as older cybertronians. ”

“In this case, I have an idea.” Bumblebee grins mischievously, as he calls to Rainmakers. “Just need to clarify a few things.”

 Nova Storm is the one who answered his call. “Hey Bee, good to see you!”

“That’s perfect! Nova, you’re the mech I need right now.”

-----

Bumblebee and Sari are soaring in the air at high altitude above a martian ocean. She’s sitting on his back, covered in protective armor and secured by vines, phasing through Bumblebee’s plating and wrapping around her.

“I hope we can make this guy talk.” Sari hopes to solve this case as fast as possible.

“Me too. This situation is getting out of hand, and we must interfere fast.” Bumblebee replies, sharing the same feeling. “I sense Darksteel below us. Hang on tight.”

As he felt Sari tightening her grip, he dives in a spiral motion. In a few seconds, they reached their target, and Bumblebee grabbed him with all his six paws. “Gotcha!”

“AHHH! SELENE?!” Darksteel yells in fear. “So you came after me directly?!”

“What else did you expect? You’re part of the group who messing up the ecosystem and threatening innocent people!” Bumblebee snarls. “You almost drove jerboroos to extinction!”

They struggle in the air, spinning, and falling until the ursagryph frees himself and blasts off at full speed.

“Oh no, you won’t get away this time!” the dragon yells and flies after him as fast as he can manage.

Darksteel is faster, but Bumblebee has a plan. Instead of trying to catch up to him, the dragon maneuvers around and roars loudly enough to scare his target. In a blind panic to get away from the angry deity, the ursagryph doesn’t notice how he’s flying right into an intense hurricane.

“Woah, we flew him right into a storm!” Sari exclaims in excitement as turbulence rises, mixed with the pouring rain. “Are trying to exhaust him?”

“Yep, and he’s already struggling.” He says as he senses Darksteel’s spark moving erratically. He tightens his grip on Sari with vines. “Lie flat against me. This is about to get really windy.”

“Yeees!” she braces herself.

Soon they reach the eyewall, where are the most fierce winds of the hurricane are blowing. The wind is so turbulent it tosses them around like a leaf. The updraft would push them high, then the next few seconds a strong downdraft comes, creating the illusion of being in zero gravity for a moment. All this is accompanied by excited shrieks from Sari, who is having fun. Bumblebee, thought is changeling to stay in control of the flight, handles it well and enjoys the ride as well.

This cannot be said about the Darksteel. The dragon cannot see him through all the rain, winds, and gray clouds swirling around, but he feels ursagryph’s spark fluttering like crazy, radiating the mixture of frustration and exhaustion.

“Do you like the weather?” Bumblebee says in a sassy tone through his commlink. “Should have talked to us when you got a chance. How about trading my help for your information?”

“Screw you! I will get out of here and you’ll never catch me!” Darksteel laughs, still pretending to be in control.

“Good luck, call me when you’ll need me.” Bumblebee says, and to save his energy, he maneuvers into the eye of the storm. The rain stopped, the skies had cleared, and the water below became still. He loosen his vines around Sari, letting her to sit up.

“Woah!” Sari sits and looks around. It’s sunny and calm, surrounded by a thick wall of clouds they just came from. “Knowing is one thing, but seeing it with my own eyes is amazing!”

“I’m glad you like this.” He chuckles in delight. At least they both having a good time despite circumstances.

“That was so cool!” she throws her hands in the air and laughs. “I have never seen rain fly upwards like someone broke gravity. And the turbulence! Never thought hurricanes can be like this! No roller coaster will ever be this fun! And you handled this masterfully! Looks like your trips to mega stormy Caminus taught you a lot.”

“Hah, compared to Caminus, this hurricane is fairly tame. I guess I should take you with me next time I’ll fly into the storm to unwind.” He laughs. Even after many years, he finds this strange how intense winds soothe his nerves. But it works, so he has no complaints. “Windblade gonna love this too when she’ll be able to fly again.”

Life Wardens chill in the eye for a bit, before Sari asked, “How is our little friend? Do you still feel him, right?”

“Yep, Darksteel is having the hurricane edition of marry-go-round.” He looks in the direction where he senses the ursagryph. “Trying to brute force his exit with speed isn’t working well for him.”

“I guess we gotta just wait for a bit… oh?” Sari perks as she sees something below them. “Is that a ship down below?”

Bumblebee was focusing all his attention on Darksteel, he didn’t even notice they were not alone in the eye. He looks down to see a fully loaded cargo ship, sensing two sparks: one is big, definitely belonging to the cargo ship and a small one, regularly pulsing twice per cycle, a human or elf. A second later, he recognizes them.

“Hey!” a human exclaims as they see the dragon fly near them. “Great Uncle?! Sari?!”

"Small world, huh?” the ship laughs. “What are doing here?”

“Miko, Bulkhead!” Bumblebee greets them. Life is full of surprises, and he never expected to see his grandniece of the 12th generation of the ever-expanding Witwicky family tree in the middle of the hurricane. “We’re just having fun.”

“Of course, that is exactly something you would do.” Miko laughs, along with her best friend.

“So, how did you end up here? I rarely see heavy cargo ships swimming through severe storms.” Sari asks as they landed on the deck.

“Oof, yeah, we accidentally trapped ourselves,” Miko says. “We got too distracted to see weather radar and end up inside the eyewall before we could react.”

“That was terrifying! I never see such enormous waves in my life and I almost got turned multiple times!” Bulkhead whispers as if he’s afraid to piss off the storm. “Lucky we got tossed into the eye, but we don’t know what to do.”

“Darn, that’s sure an unpleasant situation. The hurricane won’t stop until it reaches the land, and even then you still would have to deal with eyewall and storm surges.” Sari says.

“And we already deviated from our course.” Bulkhead sighs in frustration. “I’m just afraid to go back to huge waves and risk losing all cargo or Miko getting hurt.”

“I see… perhaps I might help,” Bumblebee says after thinking of a plan. “I can open a portal just outside of the dangerous part of the storm and you can safely get away.”

“Are you sure? Don’t portals hurt you?” Miko frowns.

“Yeah, but one portal won’t wreck my body, and it’s a short one.” Bumblebee reassures her and takes off into the sky.

“I appreciate your help,” Bulkhead says.

Bumblebee flies up in front of the ship. “Alright, get ready. Once the portal is up, get through it right away!”

He secures Sari once again and starts flying in a circle. He adds more speed and uses his claws to dig into the fabric of space, shortening the distance between here and the desired location with each pass. After several passes, the portal opens, and the wind rushes in from the other side into a low pressure of the eye, creating waves rocking the ship.

“Okay, okay, I can handle this!” the Bulkhead says with newfound confidence after seeing the waves out there.” We’re going, thank you for help!”

“Safe travels!” Sari waves to them as the ship passes through. The portal closes and Bumblebee exhales heavily, gliding into the water. He floats on the surface, looking like a swimming bird.

“Are you okay?” Sari asks, petting his neck.

“Yeah. It squeezed my spark hard, but aside from that, I’m stable. Just need to rest for a bit.” He says, relaxing on the calm water. Sari nods and feeling that the vines loosened, lay down on his back and relax as well. They chill like this in silence until Bumblebee’s commlink activates again.

“Fine, I’ll tell you everything! Just get me out of here!” the Darksteel says with an exhausted voice.

“Finally! I thought you’ll never ask! Hold on tight. I’ll get you shortly.”

After securing Sari, he dives back into the eyewall, quickly catching Darksteel in his paws. Holding him tight, Bumblebee carefully flies through the winds, going faster or slower, depending on turbulence. Once they left the eyewall, the dragon lands on one of the small islands nearby.

The weather is still stormy, but not as intense as before. The Darksteel transforms into root-mode and collapses onto the ground, feeling so relieved like never before. Bumblebee transforms as well, standing in the rain with his wingcape and antennae fluttering in the gusting wind, making him look even more intimidating. Sari climbs with his help onto his shoulders, resting her upper body between his horns.

“You’re a cunning bastard,” Darksteel says, looking up with an annoyed expression. “Knowing you won’t catch me normally, you trapped him instead. Look at my poor engines. They stalled!”

“Stakes are high, and I must get to the bottom of this before someone gets killed.” Bumblebee said sternly. “Do you understand the gravity of the situation?”

“I mean, those are just rabbits!”

“First, your buddies took sacs with potent neurotoxin and got hospitalized because your boss didn’t bother to instruct how to handle it. They could easily die from this and for what?!” Bumblebee glares at him with furious anger and steps closer before continuing.

“Second, the ecosystem that they are part of is heavily affected, and the worst part, cybertronians sharing the same alt-mode are in danger! One of them almost got killed! Why he must be sacrificed for whatever your boss is doing?! “Bumblebee roars, barely holding back his anger. Darksteel realizes that the fury of that hurricane pales compared to the fury of the eldritch dragon.

They stare at each other, only howling winds filling the silence. Bumblebee sighs, feeling grateful for the weather as it helps him to not explode right here. He sits on the rock behind him.

‘Well… we fear you, actually!” Darksteel said.

“Elaborate.” Bumblebee pushes, not accepting such a shallow answer.

“I mean, you’re all immortal god with unlimited power!”

“Keep talking.”

“There is nothing to say.”

“Fear never appears out of thin air. It’s often deeply rooted in survival. People afraid are afraid of many things that might hurt or kill them, or destroy their home or food source which also might lead to suffering and dying. What about me threatens you?”

That question forced Darksteel to think deeply about this. “Are you just so… omnipotent and hidden? You never appear anywhere, yet you hold so much power that you can revive dead Planet Giants! You can easily kill anybody and your hive is constantly watching everyone and if someone makes a wrong move, you’ll kill them!”

“Woah dude, that’s such messed up assumptions!” Sari protests. “Bumblebee is not like that. Where did you even get this idea?!”

The dragon is not sure how to feel about it. He was just doing his job, staying away from most people and just living his life, yet someone still made up conspiracies. He sighs and gatherer his thought together.

“First of all, despite being a powerful entity, I’m still a person. A person who wants to live a fulfilling life, a person who has wants and needs just like anyone else. I’m not THAT different! I just don’t enjoy being in public too much. Have you heard about introverts?”

Darksteel stares at him with wide optics, not expecting such a reply from being supposed to be a deity.

“Second, I don’t take lives just because I wanted to. This is the absolute last resort.”

“But you killed a lot of politicians and rich people!”

“Yes, and it was the last resort because they refused to stop when I gave them the last warning! Compared to how many deaths and suffering THEY caused by waging wars, creating famines and shitty economies that only benefited them, what I did was a tiny drop in the ocean. And some politicians did back away from their positions, so I didn’t harm them. Death is not something I’m taking lightly.”

Darksteel went silent again. Their expression softened as they realize what Bumblebee was saying.

“Third, the Insecticons.” Bumblebee extends his lower left arm, and in a few seconds, a golden and purple biometallic grasshopper landed on it. “This is how they look like. They have different forms, but colors are the same. Did you see them in your city? Or any other city?”

Darksteel, despite the fear, stands up and walks closer to inspect the animal. Then he shakes their head.

“You’ll never see them in areas populated by people because I don’t need them there. I made Insecticons to help me monitor the ecosystems on all three planets. I’m just one person, and even with other Life Wardens and several organizations tied to me, it’s still so much work, and I need a more efficient way to gather and organize data.”

“I didn’t know this,” Darksteel says quietly, backing away slowly.

“You know, this information is fully available on the Internet for everyone. You can read in great detail about what we’re doing and why, how the system work, how Insecticons work and you can even use a map to track the movement of Insecticon Hive.” Sari says, staying as calm as possible.

Darksteel felt so ashamed before. What he did was caused by his ignorance and fear, manipulated by a mastermind behind the scheme. He leans on the tree and slowly slides down in defeat. “I’m so sorry, I’m such a fool. I was so afraid of you, and Quake’s words were so convincing.”

“Good thing you realized this now, so you won’t be his puppet anymore.” Sari nods, feeling relieved that at least one member realized their mistake.

Bumblebee once again he’s facing the horrible root of manipulated ignorance. “Last time such a thing happened it led to complete destruction of Cybertron, all because Megatron was such a perfect puppet in hands of Functionists. I don’t want history to repeat itself.”

“It’s not too late. I will help you.” Darksteel says, ready to atone for his wrongs.

------

Next week was hectic. The investigation finally moved forward, and thanks to Darksteel's help, the rest of the poachers surrendered. They had to be rushed to the hospital like the previous group for the same reason. The previous group was healed, and after talking to Darksteel and Bumblebee, they tried to confront Quake and convince him to stop.

It almost ended in a tragedy. He used the remaining jerboroo’s neurotoxins and unleashed it on the group. They barely escape alive and ended up hospitalized again. Life Wardens and Rubble spend their days talking to each person.

Like Darksteel, they had doubts and fears about him or the social system. It saddened Bumblebee, but he also was glad they caught this so early. He kept asking and soon he got a pretty clear picture.  

Quake was deliberately looking for anxious and doubtful people. He is a smooth talker, so it wasn’t hard for him to manipulate them to stop getting any kind of help from social structures, then make them do this bidding. The more he heard about this, the angrier he was getting. The last straw is when one poacher said that Quake was planning on getting rid of Life Wardens and the councils of all three planets to seize control over everything.

Bumblebee thanked them for the information and went outside to breathe. This is disgusting and absolute evil. Why would someone just destroy everything that countless human generations and cybertronians worked hard through blood, pain, and tears?

An investigator informed him they were done gathering information. Bumblebee thanked them and asked to redirect social support to former poachers. They must atone for what they did, and they need a lot of help. Good thing it’s been a lot of time since prisons became obsolete, so he won’t have to worry about them. Though he still asked to be gentle with them.

After all, everyone can fall into this trap.

------

Bumblebee was about to head home to his family, only to find out Rubble run out of the hospital, leaving a note that he’s going to confront Quake himself. This send a chill to his spark, and he immediately ran after him. Fortunately, he knew where to go from the investigator earlier. He sends a message to Sari and Windblade to come after them.

Soon, Bumblebee reached Quake’s hideout. Using his spark telepathy, he sensed their exact location. As he got closer, he could hear Quake angrily shouting.

“It was all your fault!” the sound of the blade colliding with the metal wall rings through the hall.

“My fault?! You are the one who tried to murder me for no reason!” Rubble yells back. He could hear them rolling from the attack.

“Death for a greater good is a noble sacrifice. You should have accepted it if you cared about the future of your people.”

Rubble is in great danger, and Bumblebee pushed his limits and teleported right in front of the younger cybertronian, taking the blade instead of them. Here was the key guy behind all this, Quake, staring at the dragon with wide optics as his blade dug deeper into his left shoulder. 

The attacker missing an arm, he must have cut it off back then to stop Rubble’s poison from killing him.

“And what this ‘greater good’ is supposed to be?” Bumblebee growls, glaring deeply into Quake’s spark.

“You!” Quake steps back. “None of your business!”

“It is my business. You’re messing with my people and my home.” Bumblebee steps forward, ignoring the blade that is still digging into his shoulder.” You spread nasty conspiracy against me, my friends, and the entire system that keeps people thriving.”

“Tch, that what you say! People thriving?! Only the strongest must thrive, the weakest exist to serve us. Like in the old times! Why, I, a healthy and perfect life form, should bow to the unworthy?”

Bumblebee scowls. This is exactly what he was afraid of. “It literally costs nothing to be a decent person!”

“That’s beneath me! I want to be just like the Functionists and the rich of the past, living on the top, while making worms work for me! C’mon, aren’t you the same?! You can force everyone to do whatever you want!”

“Did I ever have done that?”

“You can start at any moment! You’re a damn god! The power corrupts everyone, everyone becomes evil eventually. So it’s better to be me in power! I will bring back the only system that kept people like you in slums!”

“I won’t let you!”

“Oh, and what’s your motivation?! Do you care just out of the goodness in spark? Out of love?! Those things don’t exist, nobody agrees with anyone! I’m the right one and I will prove this to you and everyone who wronged me!”

Quake pulled up the homemade firearm aimed at Rubble. The bullet would be fatal if Bumblebee didn’t jump in to take it, injuring his chest. Rubble squeezed into the corner from terror, covering their mouth with both hands.

Bumblebee pounce and pins Quake to the ground, despite being smaller than him. The bigger mechs struggle but cannot break free from the dragon’s steel grip. The dragon’s fury is rising. His spark destabilizes from all the stress. The symbiotic plant pushes the excessive energy out in the form of black resin and covers Bumblebee’s body. His face distorts into a more terrifying image.

“You’re a monster!” Quake yells.

“Compared to you, I’m a harmless fly,” Bumblebee says in a distorted voice, sounding absolutely terrifying. “So many innocent people suffered and died for amusement those rich twisted abominations! And you want to bring it back? Who is the monster here?! You killed so much that even the Well demands your spark! I will end this right now!”

A gasp from the side took his attention, seeing Rubble pressing into the corner in terror. They’re curled into a ball, holding their long tail to their chest.

“Rubble?” Bumblebee says in the softest voice he can manage in this condition, creating such an eerie image. The terrifying beast yet being so gentle. “You should leave this place. Now.”

Rubble lifts their face to look at their friend. “But what about you? You’re in pain.”

“I’ll be back before you know it. Go, find Sari and Windblade. They’re near.”

“I…. Okay.” Rubble shakily stands up and walks past the exit. Once making sure that Rubble is far away, Bumblebee opens his maw, which has even more maws on the inside, armed with countless teeth and eyes.

“You’re doing this out of love after all… pathetic.” Quake said right before the jaws closed around his head and chomped it off. His body lost all colors and went limp, as his spark departed into the Well.

This nightmare was finally over.

 Bumblebees tries to walk to the exit, but his body is in such pain from overcharging, that he collapses onto the floor after a few steps. Because the fainting was delayed by the plant, that means he is going to sleep longer. It’s okay; others will handle anything else.

The heavy weight on his has lifted now the crisis is averted. The case wasn’t closed yet. There was a thoughtful investigation trying to determine the reason Quake turned out like this. It was revealed it wasn’t a fast problem, but misunderstandings piled up over decades. Sadly, instead of seeking help and reflecting on his own actions, Quake decided that everyone around him was wrong, and this flawed world must cease.

The “All or Nothing” mindset has never been a good guide in life. Just because the utopia can never be perfect, it doesn’t mean people shouldn't strive for it.

[mikeyelistsukasa]

So I don’t know if you write for Mitsuba but if you do can you do like a royal au with him like where he is a prince and the reader is either a servant or another royal and how he would act towards them and if you don’t do him then you can skip this request I hope you are having a good day/night

Hewwo yes i do write for mitsuba! I have done only 1 poly request of him you can see it in my masterlist by clicking tbhk <3

I chose servant because i feel like it would be a bit more easier for me to write

Prince!Mitsuba with a Servant!Darling

Jesus christ having him around is a pain in the butt -^-

Woops he „accidentally“ dropped his drink. Can you clean that up ? :)

He would ask his parents for you to be his only servant and only serving him

As much as he mocks you he would never go too far as making you almost loose your job or where you could get hurt

If you do end up hurting yourself because of him he will call for a nurse right away and MAYBE mumble a small„𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢“

Tells his parents that he is going to take you to his room to clean when in reality you two end up playing some games.

It becomes a bit sad when he starts to catch feelings for you

He starts to give you lots of tasks to avoid you and his feeling for you

He is a prince after all he cant have feelings for someone who is supposed to serve him!…right?

He might snap at you if you try to ask him why he is suddenly avoiding you

„UGH WHY ARE YOU SO CLINGY GO DO YOUR JOB AND LEAVE ME ALONE!“

He didn’t mean to hurt your feelings at all it just slipped out…

Small oneshot

He was chasing after you „WAIT MRS/MR. S/O I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY THOSE THINGS„ he catched up and grabbed you by the wrist „Please…hear me ou-„ „LET ME GO PRINCE MITSUBA YOU HAVE MADE IT CLEAR THAT YOU DONT WANT ME ANYMORE“ tears ran down your cheeks. He was taken back because of your shouting. The king and queen heard everything and decided to kick you out since apperently like you said it seems he doesn’t want you anymore. You begged them to give you another chance saying you needed this job that there is someone you know at home who very sick.they didn’t care though. You went back home all tired and stressed. While mitsuba is already on his way to you. It broke his heart when he arrived to your „house“ you…lived like this the whole time? He knocked on the door and was greeted kindly by he assumes your mother. He said he needed to see you to which she let him in.He went upstairs into your room and right when he opened the door he was greetet with a pillow in his face „why did you follow me…“ he sat next to you on the other side of your bed „im here to say sorry“ „sorry wont help“ „i know“ he looked away „thats why i brought this“ he got out a big sack filled with money „this is for you. I hope this is enough to cure the person you were talking abou-“ his eyes went wide as you hugged him „are you kidding?!?! This is more than enough! Thank you so much prince mitsuba!“ he smiled softly at your words „please. Call me just mitsuba from now on…💘“

Thank you for your request! Hope i left you satisfied! Please visit again! <3

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

@littlemixand1direction asked: I'm not sure if you are taking requests right now, but I would love to read a chapter where Rick takes her to the army reunion as mentioned in the wedding chapter

If I Go Universe - 165th's Reunion Special (Rick Flag x OC)

Summary: Rick's old army unit is having a reunion and he brings Delphia along with him. But he had kinda forgotten how all his old army buddies are a bunch of little shits.

Pairing: Rick Flag x OC (Delphia Holman)

Word Count: 3230

Warnings: language, rick flag being one soft man, slight jealous!rick, suggestive language, universe crossover woops

Timeline: December 2016 (been together 3 months at this point)

if i go masterlist

A/N: Fuck it! My universe now! Welcome to the If I Go Universe, Triple Frontier boys! And I know the gif is technically an air force dress uniform and not green beret...but it serves the same purpose of making my pussy pop (??? I'm so sorry)

Delphia had been to Miami one other time with Waller on a business trip. She didn’t get to see much of it then, and she wondered, as Rick pulled into the convention center parking lot, how much of it she was going to see this time. A weekend excursion for his old Army company’s reunion didn’t leave much room for sightseeing. Especially when the whole thing was kicking off with a huge dinner, speeches, and mingling at some boring convention center ballroom.

“Thanks for comin’ with me,” Rick sighed as he put the car in park.

She looked over at him with a smile. He looked good. Really good. Dress code was dress uniforms and black tie for guests. Which meant Rick was wearing his green beret uniform, bedecked with polished medals and fresh from the dry cleaners — not a stain or wrinkle in sight. And Delphia was wearing a satin bodycon dress in a dark shade of blue, high heels, and hair curled and all. Rick almost hadn’t let her leave the hotel room in it, wanting instead to just leave it on the floor. But she worked hard to look this good — and so did he.

“Of course,” she said, “That’s what girlfriends are for.”

As she got out of the car, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Rick’s cheeks pink. A shy sort of smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before he followed. The kind of bashfulness that comes when you’ve only been dating for three months. For some people, maybe not long enough to be accompanying their significant other on a weekend trip for a reunion.

But Delphia could feel it. Down in her bones. That Rick Flag was it for her. There was no need for second chances, or plan b’s, or new romances. She got it right on the first try with him and there was no way in hell that she was letting him go.

At the welcome desk, they were given a packet with Rick’s name stickered to the front. Filled with a list of speakers, seminars they could attend, a list of good local restaurants, and an itinerary for the weekend.

“Wow, you guys don’t mess around,” Delphia commented as she flicked through it all.

“We’re ex-military,” Rick explained, hand on the small of her back to guide her into the ballroom while she continued to glance through all the papers, “We live and die by a schedule.”

“At least the few hours they have scheduled for the beach sounds fun.” She closed the folder and smiled up at him.

God, he was so glad she came. He couldn’t imagine going to this thing by himself. In fact, if she hadn’t spotted the invitation on his kitchen counter and asked him about it, he probably wouldn’t even be there right now. Rick blanched when she showed it to him — mouth open and ready to give some excuse about why he couldn’t go. Even though he had plenty of forewarning and vacation days to use. But then the way she smiled at him, held out the invitation and told him to go, it was the only and last bit of convincing he needed. Then she offhandedly mentioned she had some vacation days to use. Then she told him she bought a new dress. And suddenly he was buying two airplane tickets instead of one with her arms dangling over his shoulders. He liked it. He liked to know that she squeezed his hand tight during takeoff. That she loved to people watch in airports. That she saved her tiny bag of pretzels for food emergencies and had about twenty of them already in her carry-on. That she liked the window seat best and would point out funny shaped clouds.

He liked it and it would take a while for him to admit to himself that he loved it. That he loved her.

The ballroom was average, but it was already pretty full of men in their shining dress uniforms and their partners. Rick steered them over to the seating chart board and quickly scanned the list of names.

“Ah, shit,” he huffed when he spotted their names.

“What?” Delphia asked as she squinted at the list.

“We’re sittin’ with the fuckin’ Delta Force — table twelve.”

“And what’s so bad about sitting with them?” she whispered as they walked towards the table, eyeing the few men who were already seated there.

“Cause they’re a bunch of fuckin’ idiots,” he muttered into her ear, but then he was pulling away with a smile and an outstretched hand, “Catfish! Miller! How ya been?”

A man with messy hair and a scruffy beard who looked uncomfortable in his dress uniform stood from his seat first with a smile. He took Rick’s hand and forced him into one of those back-slapping embraces that Delphia didn’t really understand. The man didn’t look anything like a catfish. He had wispy facial hair sure, but nothing like those long whiskers the fish possessed. If anything, he was ruggedly handsome with that crook in his nose and those soft brown eyes. Then a man whose blond hair was cut in a severe military style and the brightest blue eyes Delphia had ever seen came up to Rick and gave him a bone crushing hug. Or maybe he was Catfish? He didn’t really look like one either.

“Flag, holy shit,” Catfish said with a bright smile that made his eyes crinkle, “Didn’t think you’d make it to this thing.”

“Oh, or do we have to call you Colonel Flag now?” Miller asked with a smirk.

“If you ever get yourself thrown in Belle Reve Penetentary, yeah,” Rick chuckled.

“Jesus, still can’t believe you took that gig.” Catfish shook his head, arms crossed.

Rick shrugged. “Pays well. Keeps me busy.”

“Not busy enough!” another voice chimed in.

Delphia watched, an amused smile on her face, as a tall, brown haired man with a beard came up behind Rick and clamped his hands down on his shoulders — roughly giving them a shake.

“Tom!” Rick explained once he turned and saw who it was. “How’s it goin’?”

“Good, good,” Tom laughed as he straightened out his jacket.

“You got two little girls now, right?”

“Yeah, not so little anymore though. Almost teenagers now.”

“Shit,” Rick said with a shake of his head, “We’re gettin’ fuckin’ old.”

“Tell me about it — this is the fifteen year reunion. Fifteen years since we were all measly little privates,” Miller said.

Delphia set down her clutch and the packet at her chair, content to just grab the dinner menu and look it over while the men talked. She liked it. Liked to know that old stories still made him laugh with his head thrown back. Liked to know that his handshake was firm and sincere in every way. Liked to know that he still cared deeply about these man who hadn’t been on his team for fifteen years.

She liked it and it would take her awhile to admit that she loved it. That she loved him.

“Flag, you gonna introduce us to your girl or what?” Tom asked with a finger pointed at Delphia.

Rick turned to look at her. Shit. He had nearly forgotten she was there. But she didn’t look mad sitting there in her assigned seat. She looked content, happy even, blue eyes shining as she watched him catch up with his old army buddies. He motioned for her to stand up as he moved over to her.

“Fellas, this is my girlfriend — Delphia Holman.”

He noticed out of the corner of his eye, as she shook hands with Miller first, that she was blushing something fierce. Was that the first time he had introduced her to anyone as his girlfriend? It was. And it made his insides feel all warm like he was drinking whiskey.

“Nice to meet you boys,” she told them all, finally understanding who Catfish was.

“So — how’d you two meet?” Will asked with a smile.

“Er, work actually.” Delphia glanced up at Rick with a smile.

“Wait, you’re not — ?” Frankie questioned cautiously with a furrowed brow.

Delphia knew what he was insinuating, and so was Rick. They gave each other a look. Well, yes. Technically she was. But no one was supposed to know that except people with extremely high clearance in ARGUS. She was Waller’s secret weapon and Waller liked to keep it that way — secret.

So Delphia lied. “No, no. I’m executive assistant to the big boss. Met Rick when the program started three years ago.”

Now there was one lie she was actually good at telling. One she had had her entire life to practice.

“Wow so you guys have been together a long time, huh?”

“Oh, uh — “ Rick rubbed at the back of neck like he always did when he was embarrassed. “We’ve only been together about three months.”

“Aw, little Ricky couldn’t find the balls to ask out the girl,” Will laughed teasingly, “Typical. Ya know, there was this one time back in o-eight — “

“Don’t tell that story,” Rick ordered.

“Oh, no, please do!” Delphia chimed in, looking up at Rick with an open mouthed smile and wiggling brows.

But he was saved by their old commanding officer taking up the mic, causing the speakers to boom loudly, and telling everyone to take their seats. Delphia gave the other boys a wink and a nod, saying she would remind them to tell her later, as they all sat down. Rick chuckled as he took his place beside her. Thankful that she was taking his old friends' jests in kind.

She leaned in close to his side as they listened to the opening speech. Something about camaraderie, dedication, and how all of their blood ran red, white, and blue. Her hand snuck unto his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze every few minutes. Not to grab his attention, just some sort of internal impulse that she had no control over. His arm was draped across the back of her chair, fingers tapping at the skin of her shoulder. And when he tugged at the strap of her dress she gave his knee a particularly hard squeeze. She glanced over at him with a knowing smirk, and when he winked at her she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Rick wasn’t sure that his blood ran red, white, and blue anymore. He was pretty sure that it ran bright red for Delphia Holman.

Their old commander said something about tables being dismissed to go get food at the buffet by the wait staff and then he was gone. There was a round of applause. Then the chatter picked back up and suddenly the ballroom was abuzz again with laughter and old stories.

“Where’s Pope?” Rick asked as he leaned closer to the men on the other side of the round table, “Figured he’d be here by now.”

“He fuckin’ better show up,” Frankie grumbled, “He’s the one who made us come to this thing.”

After a few minutes their table was dismissed for food. Typical buffet fair with chicken and prime rib cut on a hot slab. Rick got two of each meat and Delphia could only shake her head. They ate the food back at their table over tales from the 165th’s glory days. Delphia listened closely and laughed when it was appropriate, and really, she couldn’t help but watch Rick the entire time. The way his eyes lit up was electric. And she wondered, as she listened to him recount the details of the time they squished him between two mattresses and took turns jumping on him from the top bunk, if he missed this. The companionship and trust that came with being a unit like this. She knew he liked leading the Task Force, even enjoyed the company of some of his teammates, but she also understood that it was nothing like this. These men would die for one another, and Rick hadn’t known anything like that for a long time.

As the night wore on and people began to get up from their tables to do some more mingling, Delphia remembered the open bar out in the lobby.

“I’ll be right back,” she told Rick before excusing herself from the table.

It was less loud in the lobby. Only a few people stood at the bar, sipping on drinks and talking quietly amongst themselves. Delphia stepped up and waved down the bartender.

“What can I get ya?” he asked.

“Moscow Mule, please.” She smiled kindly at the young man.

“One Moscow Mule comin’ up.”

She watched her drink get made for a moment. That was, until she felt someone slide in next to her at the bar. For a split second she thought it was Rick, about to good naturedly chastise her for not asking if he wanted anything. But the figure standing beside her was too short and not broad enough to be her boyfriend. Delphia looked over at the uniformed man beside her. Dark hair, handsome she could admit, wearing a captain’s uniform — neatly pressed with his tie only a little crooked.

“No uniform,” he said as he surveyed the backbar, then he leaned one arm on the bar top as he turned to face her, “So who’re you here with?”

“Boyfriend,” Delphia replied.

“Mm, damn. That’s unfortunate.”

She snorted out a laugh. “Why’s that unfortunate?”

“Cause you’re probably way out of his league.”

Ah. She saw what was going on here. He was trying to flirt with her. And sure, if she were single his whole shtick would definitely work on her. He was good looking with kind eyes and a bit of stubble. But she wasn’t single and was extremely happy that way. With Rick. But wouldn’t it be fun to play along for a moment and have a funny story to laugh at with Rick later?

So she asked with raised brows, turning her body to face him, “Oh, am I?”

“Yeah.” He gestured at her. “I mean — look at you.”

“So whose league am I in then?” She looked around the room for effect.

“Well…” he slid closer to her, eyes hooded and a look on his face like he had already won the prize.

Her drink came first. Bartender pushing the copper mug towards her with an awkward expression on his face. Then she felt it. His presence was hot and heavy at her back. She didn’t even have to look to know it was him. He loomed behind her like some mythical guardian, warding away trespassers. His hand curled around her hip, fingers digging into her soft flesh hard. And she watched, an amused smirk visible over the lip of her drink, as the man before her shrank and shriveled in fear.

“Pope,” Rick grunted.

“Flag,” the man gulped.

“Oh, so you’re Pope!” Delphia leaned back into Rick’s chest, felt all those medals dig into the skin of her shoulder. “You better go say hi to your friends — they’re starting to worry you won’t show up.”

She had never seen a man scurry away before. But she was pretty sure that was what Pope was doing as he left the bar to enter the ballroom. Delphia chuckled as she turned to look up at Rick. But those giggles quickly died in her throat when she saw the look on his face. He was seething. Hazel eyes still narrowed in the direction Pope took off in, a vein popped out on his neck. She set down her drink and pressed her thumb into that vein, her fingers curling around to scratch the back of his neck.

He finally looked down at her then. A bit of that rage fading from his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she soothed him quietly, “He’s gone — and definitely knows that I’m with you.”

Rick only grunted in response.

The rest of the night went on as usual. A few more men gave speeches. Rick introduced Delphia to his old army chaplain, who told the ridiculous story about how skinny private Flag put a live snake in his bunk as a prank.

There was something in the air, though, something different and tense. Delphia could sense it. Sense it in the way Rick would barely even touch her. His smile never quite met his eyes. And it only became worse when they got back in the car to go to the hotel. Not a word was spoken between them — made even more intense by the fact that both of them were too stubborn to turn on the radio. She hadn’t memorized his ticks for when something was bothering him yet. But the way he gripped the steering wheel till his knuckles turned white and the tick in his jaw were good indicators. She wondered if she did something wrong but couldn’t think of a thing.

Only the thump of their feet as they walked down the hotel hallway filled the quiet. Delphia had the key card in her clutch. She pulled it out and opened the door, Rick following close behind.

But once the door was closed Rick was on her in an instant — slamming her back against the door with an audible thud.

“Rick!” she exclaimed in surprise.

Her mythical guardian was wrapped around her, hiding her from the world. One leg hitched between her own, head bent towards her exposed throat. Her chest still heaved from the shock of his sudden move. Her back stung from being pressed against the door so harshly.

“You’re mine,” he growled against her pulse point, speaking the words into her very bloodstream.

It made her breath hitch in her throat. But those words weren’t for her. They were for him. A reminder. A plea. Please don’t take her away from me. He listened to her gasp and whine as he sucked mark after mark into her skin. Felt her move against his thigh — her fingers tangled in his hair and pushing his beret to the floor. Since he joined the army, nothing was for him. It was for his country, his fellow man, his righteous sense of duty, the greater good. Every part of him was devoted to it. He was willing to die and bleed for it. But it never gave anything back. All it did was take and take and take. Nothing has ever been for Rick Flag except her. Except Delphia Holman who gave and gave and gave. She was all for him, wanted to be for him. Not just another thing he was willing to bleed and die for — but something he was willing to live for — love for.

So when he saw an old friend flirting with the only person who had ever been for him, it wasn’t anger or jealousy that course through his veins. It was fear. Fear that he would lose her. And, God, he doesn’t want to lose her.

“You’re mine,” he repeated as his fingers dove beneath the hem of her skirt.

Delphia pressed her thumb into that vein, wrapped her fingers around to scratch at his neck. Her blue eyes connected with his hazel ones, fierce and loving and wild.

“I’m yours, baby,” she told him, “I’m always yours.”

Taglist (if you would like to be tagged in future installments just let me know): @bbygrgu @a-reader-and-a-writer @slayerx147 @xoxabs88xox @kasey-puff @witchygagirl @the-pink-petite-princess @blooo0ooop @woodlandmouth @csigeoblue @rexorangecouny @h-hxgirl @thisisthewayrose @blondiekook @darkestbeforethedawn16 @runic-belova @weallhaveadestiny @oopsiedoopsie23 @nerdgrrlramblings @ocfairygodmother

[lovee-infected]

I enjoy reading character analysis to understand them more and I've also noticed that some insert fics are like too exagerated and their personalities are far from the canon twst. I think some writers are just basing their fics to others and and makes conclusion about it and ignore important details or text on their cards?* And as a reader, I do sometimes think that "this" character are like that. Like Vil, being portrayed as narcisstic and beauty obssessed charac, I think he isnt like that and theres more to him than we think. Sorry for the long ask✌️

You're totally valid anon and I see your point, you know while I agree that each idea and interpretation on characters is worthy on its own and no one is bound to having a specific opinion or belief, getting too wild with personal fantasies and ignoring the originals can totally ruin the writing. Characters are often mischaracterized especially in reader insert fics and the most annoying part is that almost everyone is making the same mistakes about him-! Like some of the noticable mistakes would be:

(1) Femininely has nothing to do with Vil's terms of beauty

Oh lord what can I say- It's even against what Vil himself directly said through chapter five and how he cleared his point on male and female equal, and you can tell he is pretty strict about it.

Like did you just forget what he told Epel when he complained that he doesn't want to act like a girl: “a boy getting embarrassed about ‘acting like a girl,’ -- what year is your head stuck in??? did you take a time machine from 100 years ago??”

He doesn't seem to be one to appreciate the concept of labeling beauty as a female-only thing and on the other hand, he doesn't really seem to like the way women can be looked down on while being compared to men either. He seeks equality, and beauty wasn't ever defined as a feminine act in his dictionary; while there are tons of requests asking for: Vil forcing their trans s/o to wear more feminine clothes/ Vil asking their fem! s/o to wear more feminine stuff an look cuter/Vil complimenting s/o's appearance for not being feminine enough/... And literally TONS of requests like this. Please, you're forgetting one the most important parts of his personality, he considers male and female to be equal and it's so hecking important to show that he holds respect for all genders nonetheless.

(2) Vil's maturity is often ignored

Honestly, within all twst characters Vil's maturity on its own really impresses me. From the way he speaks to how serious and sincere he is all I gotta say is this man is waaay different from the way he's charactetized in most of the fics. Idk why but, he's sometimes charactetized as a guy who's ready to boil you alive if you dare touch any of his expensive make up pallettes or eyeshadows. Oh please, Vil isn't an angry child.

Also he often decides to keep his anger in, though you can tell when he's mad by just looking at his face. Clinching fists, trying not to talk and most likely, walking off or asking people to leave him alone until he calms down a bit is most likely his usual way of expressing his anger, but I've seen him being described as a loud, feral figure like Riddle is! Oh god no- Are you just ignoring how calm and collected Vil often tends to be?

(3) What's with the potato fetish?

While it's canon that Vil can sometimes call people around him potato. You may like to know that in some languages, potato is translated as "Apple of the ground", which can be an interesting reason of him using this nickname for people.

Watching Vil call students potatoes can be as entertaining as watching Malleus play with his tamagotchi, but again, it's important to realize that you don't have to only use potato when you're thinking of what Vil might say in a reader insert/situation!

Come on there are hundreds of different statements and sentences you can use other than just 'potatoes' and it'll get boring to read him saying the same nick name over and over in a fic. Good lord of course this isn't the only word he uses in communication so please try to avoid using it too much. This, is NOT the only word that he knows to use! (Seriously though I've seen being used like 6 times in a 500-word drabble)

(4) Please avoid spreading false information about him and his personality

Funny how I'm saying it here, but don't forget that you do not own him! Vil Schoenheit is a property of Disney/ Aniplex and all, which means that no one can certainly decide on his sexuality/ background/ unexplained character details unless it's officially announced.

Why am I saying this? Because some people are seriously going to far! I've seen people attacking others saying that Vil's pronouns are She/Her and not He/ Him like: EXCUSE ME...???

I don't want to get into details explaining how this drama is going but I've got to say something anyway, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON HIS PRONOUNS! None of us do!

It's totally okay to have your personal preferences on his pronouns or anything else, but you must avoid spreading such information and forcing them on others as long as they aren't confirmed! Please keep your headcanons for yourself and don't confuse the fandom with them. Everyone's free to have their own headcanons but it's never okay to force them on others!

(5) Vil has a LOT to talk about other than just beauty!

Man... sometimes I feel like the fandom is just doing him dirty. Most of the reader inserts, fics , and even Vil memes have something to do with beauty while it's important to try and look through his personality as well instead of just sticking with the beauty aspect.

For example, through the Halloween event, I couldn't be any more surprised when Vil found the crying child who had lost their parents through the crowd and instead of just leaving them to headmaster or asking someone to take care of them he actually started to play with the child and entertrain and confront them on his own! That was probably one of his sweetest moments through the whole game and it really changed my mind about him! It was great to know that Vil as well can have a softer side when it comes to children, just imagine how good this can be used while writing a father AU for him!

His talents on the other hand need to be recognized, for example: his acting skills back in the ghost marriage proved how much of a great actor he can be and this can also give us lots of ideas to use in writings. On the other hand he's much of a celebrity on his own ( Woop- he's also got 2m followers on magicam) which gives us another great plot to write for him.

The way he is around close friends, how he compliments them and gets complimented by them in return, the way he manages Pomefiore and tries to put the students into doing their best in using their skills and lots of more interesting details that can be found through his stories are there to tell you that he's a lot more than just a beautiful Queen. A considerable part of his background as well is going to be released at he end of chapter 5 (Yes baby after the overblot Vil) and I hope that gives us all the opportunity to come up with stronger personalities and plots next time that we're describing or even, characterizing Vil!

Lmao I kind of rushed to finish this so I didn't get to talk about him as much as I wanted to, but hope that this is useful anyway.

[owls-den]

I'm binge watching Pokemon X and Y with my best friend (already 66 episodes in in less than a week WOOP) and here are my observations (obviously, spoilers for a, what, 8 years old anime series?):

Serena's arc is VERY similar to the arc I want to give Trip in my Trip as Coordinator fanfic (that I'll name "Chip on my Shoulder", yes I've decided AT LAST and it's finally in the making!! Currently 200 words in lol). So that was very interesting to see and I can't wait to discover how they handle it.

I love how "contests" are made in this and I'm 100% going to take some inspiration from it for my own contests in the fanfic to create a weird mix between the usual contests and Kalos'.

Episode 63 was the best one I've seen honestly. THE ROCKETSHIPPING CONTENT WE GOT!!! I just love when Team Rocket is portrayed with something other than just... villains of the day. They have a lot of depth and this really showcased Jessie as a character as well as James. They're just so made for each other why did no one ever write a soulmate au with these two lieksfhdjhf

Speaking of which: Team Rocket appears way too much. LIKE WAY TOO MUCH. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I did hear it got better in Alola so I'll just bear with it.

Every time they try to make me feel emotional, I cry. Unless it's Serena, then I'm laughing my ass off. I'm so SO SO sorry but when she started having flashbacks when Feneckin couldn't go across a puddle to save its own life and said "You've always defended me! It's my turn to save you!" I started wheezing like never before. Funniest shit I've ever seen. The contrast in tone with the obstacle being a puddle? Absolute comedy gold. Same for when she goes to cut her hair and sees her life flash before her eyes. I had tears in my eyes by the end and my stomach was hurting. I love you so much Serena but oh my god that's just hilarious.

JESSIE SHOULD HAVE WON THE FIRST CONTEST, I'M SORRY BUT THAT WAS THE MOST CREATIVE COSTUME EVER THAT WAS SO FREAKING COOL!!! JUSTICE FOR JESSIE!

Tierno is incredible. I didn't think much of him in the game but he got a GLOW UP in the series.

Once again, I LOVE Serena, but I am not much of an Amourshipper honestly. Like it's cute but I feel like Ash is just very much so uninterested. I ship her way more with Elle honestly. She's such a bi disaster man Serena my beloved. Seriously, Elle and Serena went more on a date than Ash and Serena went on a date in the episode... saying that they're going on a "date". Idk it's a cute shipping but I really don't think Ash is into her.

WHY IS CLEMONT SINGLE HE IS THE ULTIMATE MALE WIFE??? Seriously. Also had a shower thought that his robot having both his malewife aspect and Ash's battle determined spirit makes him their son, don't @ me, I'm right.

This is a genuinely cute series at time. I'll often say something edgy to my friend about it and then retract it because it's just cute.

James centric episodes are what dreams are made out of. James believes so much in his pokemons like his Inkay I cried... A lot... WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL-

Oh my god the whole Malamar episodes are so eldritch in nature what the actual hell I was not prepared.

I have no real opinion on Bonny. She's ok and sometimes pretty adorable.

Hawlucha my beloved <3

I have the uncanny ability to predict everything the second before they happen. Choosing to bingewatch this with someone who has seen the series before is probably the best decision I've ever made.

My conclusions is that so far, well it's full of filler, but that's normal. The episodes range from pretty eh to actually pretty good and entertaining! I like the character dynamics, they're great. Can't wait to see the rest! I don't know if it's high compliment, but it's an awesome series to put in the background while cooking, chatting with friends, shiny hunting... We watch in japanese with subtitles and comment as we go through 10 hours sessions at a time. It has a lot of flaws but man, I forgot how great the anime was at making me care for pokemons. Pokemon used to be my comfort anime and now I remember why after taking a 11 years long break from it. Maybe I'll even rewatch Best Wishes once I've caught up to Journey.