#that the smart thing to do is to not try to analyze right now

[itspileofgoodthings]

literally sometimes my brain won’t work right when I am under stress or anxiety or just riding waves of turmoil but it still keeps going through the motions of working—grinding, whirring, spinning, turning etc etc etc. but all unproductively—and so I have to take my brain and put it on ice like “you CANNOT use this right now Maria it is not working right” and then go do other things and it has been the hardest thing in the world for me to learn but also one of the most important lessons from this season I think. just to haul myself out of the pit of my own thinking and go look at the sky or some grass.

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[qlossytbh]

im so FUCKING stupid and i accidentally forgot to add tags and i deleted the anon request this fic was inspired from so i will paste it here

“Could you please write one about having a team night round Rossi's but you and Spencer had had an argument before so it was tense between the pair of you so you try and flirt with one of the out of town agents to try and get his attention?”

𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧- 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐚𝐮!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 you and Spencer don’t usually get along due to your constant fights to prove who was better. But when the two of you are paired on a case together, hidden feelings start to arise towards the surface.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 enemies to lovers type beat (?), academic rivals (?), fem!reader, typical criminal minds content, jealous spence, mentions of a guy that gets a little too handsy

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 4.6k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 i get a little carried away with request oops. i don’t think this is exactly what you were asking for but

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

It had come to no one's attention that you and Spencer were fighting— again..

The BAU team was currently hunting down a murderer that was attacking teenagers at a local campus in the city of Chicago, and all that Reid seemed to be doing these past few days was getting on your nerves.

Wether it was searching the crime scene, analyzing the possible behavioral patterns of the UnSub, or setting down a profile, you and Reid could not stop bickering, driven solely off the desperation of beating each other with whoever could piss the other off more.

You thought Spencer had this aggravatingly, annoying need to prove he was always so much smarter than everyone else, using his wide variety of big intellectual words just to show off.

He, on the other hand, truly couldn't stand how you'd always butt into every conversation you deemed necessary attempting to seem smarter just to get yourself on top of a case. Your ego had been Spencer's main problem across these past few months, but it was slowly driving him off the wall and he found that with each passing day, he was finding it harder to work with you.

The initial conflict seemed irrelevant right now— something about Spencer purposely embarrassing you in front of the the team back when you had just started out in the BAU. Even if it was unintentional, the anger stuck.

You had been so embarrassed, feeling your insides pool with irritation as you questioned why he felt the necessity to correct you so publicly— in front of people you still didn't know.

With time, it slowly morphed into a constant competition to prove who was smarter, quicker on their feet, more widely intellectual than the other, always finding ways to one up each other in conversations— anything.

You were smart and you couldn’t blame him for seeing you as a competition the second you stepped foot into the BAU.

The rest of the team was growing sick of the two of you always whining and bickering. It could be the smallest, stupidest fights— or something so weighty, the two of you wouldn’t speak for days.

However, the two of you got into a fight yesterday when landing in Chicago.

It had been stupid

It started when you "accidentally" slammed the taxi door in his face, genuinely not realizing he was getting out of the cab on the same side you were, even though a side of you thought he deserved much more than a slammed door to the face.

Later on in the day a heavier argument spewed, given since he accused you of being ‘unprofessional’, which had incredibly pissed you off. It was the one thing that truly got to you, and Spencer knew this.

Since then, none of you had spoken to each other and the rest of the team could practically feel the tension. Hotch rounded the table, pressing his hands together.

"So, let's lay it all out," Hotch announced. "Who's starting?”

You and Spencer both volunteered simultaneously. You shot a glare in his direction, which he easily disregarded as he stood from his seat at the table

"So far, we know were looking for a male between the age of 20-25," You cross your arms across your chest and look over at the board with a huff, accepting your defeat.

Your eyes scanned through the evidence and pictures at hand. While Spencer continued his analysis, hands shoved deep into his pockets, you squinted at the words scribbled onto the case file. "The killer seems to have a target preference given how all four victims have been female college students between the ages of 18-24"

"So, do we know which kind of killer were dealing with here?" Morgan asked, flipping through the case files.

"If I'm not mistaken, the last victim presented a alteration in the Unsub’s M.O in comparison to what we've been observing so far, which could ultimately mean we could be dealing with a disorganized offender acting out on—" He stated, turning towards the board, but when your eye caught a part of information in the file, you were quick to interrupt.

"Actually, you are mistaken," You reached over, grabbing the file in front of you in one swift movement and flipped the page as you stood to your feet. Spencer froze and turned towards you.

"Excuse me?" He inquired, clearly unamused at your antics. You briefly looked up at him, only sparing him a brief glance.

"You're wrong. The Unsub isn't disorganized," You jutted your chin towards the board. "We're actually dealing with an organized offender."

Morgan glanced over at JJ, quietly cursing to himself knowing that this was probably payback and not heading in any favorable direction.

"Sure, this specific victim wasn't as calculated and precise as the other," You started. "Up until now, the Unsub seemed to be killing all of these girls with long, tedious methods, such as torturing them, which clearly shows us he feels no remorse and actually finds pleassure out of killing them. Organized crimes are premeditated and carefully planned, so that would explain why we found little to no evidence at the scene yesterday and organized criminals, according to the classification scheme, can tell right from wrong—"

"—But our buddy here doesn't care," Morgan finished off, looking up at you. With a nod, you continued

"Precisely. The pattern of our victims also leads us to believe that he's seeaking some sort of revenge on the girls, since they're all from the same background." You pointed to a few post-it notes on the board. "Right here it says that all four girls belonged to the same frat house on campus—"

"Yet our recent victim did not," Spencer butted in with a shurg, facing you smugly. With an unamused glance, you took two warning steps towards him, maintaining your composure.

"Well, Dr. Reid, if you read the autopsy report you'd see that the newest victim died from a blunt force to the head," Annoyed was an understatement as to what you were feeling towards him at that precise moment. Your eyes narrowed while you managed to keep on the most innocent smile you could. "That means that the attack was out of some unplanned rage, which caused him to lashout and therefore break his regime."

You took one more step towards Reid, suddenly dangerously close to him. Intimidating people wasn’t something that came hard, much less with Spencer.

Something inside you fed off that vast satisfaction that arose when he'd get activated with you. Seeing his breaths go shallow, his whole posture to stiffen along with the habitual furrow in his brows felt like your daily dosis of serotonin.

"If you payed more attention to these case files, you'd also see that the newest victims was our previous victims best friend, so there still is a connection just not the one you've been blindly looking for.”

With that you slapped the files into his chest and stepped back, referring back over to the board.

Spencer gapped at you, opening his mouth before clamping it shut immediately. He fumbled, grappling at the papers on his chest and looking down at them in embarrassment. You felt yourself smile with satisfaction at how his movements became sloppy. "I— I would've said that if you let me finish my analysis and let me actually read these papers."

"Or you can just admit you're slow—"

"So!" JJ butted in, quickly cutting off whatever fight was about to implode in-front of them. "We’re looking for someone connected throughout the campus that would somehow want some sort of revenge on these girls? Correct?"

"Yes." You and Spencer stated simultaneously. You bit back a comment, swiping your tongue against your lower lip, annoyance filling every single nerve in your body while he let out a noise similar to a scoff.

"Here's the plan then," Hotch said, ignoring the two of you. "Prentiss and I will give the Chicago police force the profile. Morgan and JJ, deal with collecting possible witnesses; anyone at that campus who knows anything that may deem useful."

You stood, glancing over at Spencer. When he met your eyes you quickly looked away, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

"Reid, Y/L/N," Hotch said, finally acknowledging the two of you with a steady gaze. "You two will assigned search the crime scene to see if any evidence was left behind—just protocol checking, but we need to be sure nothing was left unseen."

You opened and closed your mouth, intending to protest about the pairing but deciding strongly otherwise.

With the intention to remain professional you nodded in agreement. As hard as you found to do so, you waited patiently for the other members of the team to draining the room until only you, Morgan, JJ, Spencer were left collecting the remaining of your things.

As Morgan was grabbing a few of his things with JJ patiently waiting by his side, you walked up to her with a devious smile. "Hey Jayj, wanna change partners?"

"I am right here." Spencer answered.

"I dont care," You shot back, causing him to angrily shove more of his files into his satchel. You turned back to Morgan, practically ready to get onto your knees and beg him for sympathy. "Please Morgan, trade with me— I'm begging you."

"We don’t get to choose who we get paired with,” He started, looking down at you unamused. Your face fell, deadpanning at your friend.

“If you're going to complain about being paired with Reid none of us wanna hear it," Morgan groaned, dragging a hand across his face. You opened your mouth to protest, but he rudely cut you off by pointing an accusitory finger at you. "The two of you have been yapping at eachother faces since we got here."

"We have not!" You both shouted in unison. You angrily turning around to face Spencer, warning him with a glare. “Stop that!"

"It's always something with the two of you," JJ shook her head in disappointment. "You're lucky you two are the smartest members on the team cause we would've had you seperated months ago,"

JJ finished grabbing her things and glared at the two of you. Morgan grabbed his things as well, before turning to you. "Either you sort out all of this sexual tension you've got going on or you keep your mouths shut and get along!"

"What!?" You gaped, taking aback by Morgan's accusations. "Thats not—We dont—"

You fumbled with your words as your cheeks grew hot. You stammered, trying to hit back with something, but inevitably found your mind blank. You huffed, snatching your bag and rushing towards the exit of the conference room "I hate you."

"No you don't princess." Morgan stated as you walked past him and shoved his arm.

"And you boy genius," Morgan said looking at Spencer and tossed her bag across her shoulder. "That goes for you too, either get laid, or shut up."

With that, they left the room leaving a sputtering and angry Spencer struggling to regain his composure after the absurdity that had left his collegues mouth. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and grabbed his final things, leaving the room in a frenzy.

You pulled the cars ignition once you pulled the car into the Campus buildings entrance. You put the car in park as you umblucked your seatbelt, which Spencer started doing not long after you had, following your suit. The ride had been completely silent, none of you wanted to speak to eachother, worrying that if you did another argument would start.

All he did during the ride was read some of the case files while you intently focused on the road. Your hands gripped tightly at the steering wheel and every once and a while you'd sneak small glances at him— not because you cared or anything, you just wanted to see how much more information he was getting ahead of you with.

The building was secluded off to the public and the entrance was swarmed with countless police officers and agents. As you climbed out of the car, you pulled your glasses onto the top of your head and slammed the door in one swift motion. By the time you got to Spencers side of the door, he was still inside slowly collecting his things, which pissed you off. You waited impatiently for him to climb out with a huff.

For what seemed to feel like forever, he finally opened the car door and started to climb out as you waited impatienly. "You look like you're doing that on purpose."

"Getting out of the car? Yeah, I am actually" He stated, finally stepping out. A snide remark came up your throat but wasn't able to leave your mouth given how Spencer towered over you once he strightened himself out.

He unintentionally stepped way too close for your personal preference, but your boundaries melted somewhere in your consciousness.

You craned your head back just slightly, allowing yourself to look into his eyes. Spencer swallowed thickly, suddenly painfully aware of how close the two of you were. An unfamiliar voice reeled the two of you back to reality. "Dr. Y/L/N?"

You practically jumped, swallowing down the urge to yelp. You stepped away from Spencer, blinking rapidly as you cleared your throat. "Uh yes!—“

"Thats, uhm, me—“ You slipped your glasses off and put them into your bag anxiously. "Dr. Y/L/N."

You turned to the Agent in front of you, who held his hand out with an irksomely pearly white smile. You gazed at the man, and you had to admit he was easy on the eyes— a little too stereotypically attractive for your taste.

"I'm Agent Mirthwood, head of the Chicago police department, Aaron Hotchner specified you'd be here to help with the case," You took his hand and shook it. "Wasnt expecting a doll like you."

Spencer didnt miss the way his eyes raked across your body, taking in every part of you with careful detail. You were wearing a silk black button up, along with a blazer that matched the skirt that hugged your skin tightly. Spencer would have to be blind to ignore how every piece of clothing you had on hugged every inch of your curves perfectly, so obviously, whoever this guy was, he was going to be staring.

How couldnt he?

You laughed nervously and Spencer, despite his profiler background, couldn't tell if it was becasue you were uncomfrotable or flattered. Either possibilities made his skin crawl.

"Charming," You noted, not really wanting to give him any more material to chew at. "So, mind leading the way?"

"Not at all." He grinned, placing his hand on your lower back and guiding you towards the building. Spencer followed behind pathetically, feeling his hands clench and his jaw tighten while he watched the guys hand linger where they didn't belong.

Once inside the building, you and Spencer looked around your surroundings, checking over a few areas of the marked numbers and rerunning the supposed series of events in your heads. "This is where the first victim tried escaping,"

You and Spencer simultaneously looked over to the glass window that had been merely cracked. "Can't believe how a murder took place and the campus director didn't even close the place down for more than five days."

"Agent Mirthwood, you said that the floor above us was where Anya Colins was murdered, correct?" You asked, looking over towards the locker. Spencer stood beside you with his hands shoved into his pocket.

"Over in classroom seven, yes” He responded. His eyes flickered towards the pop of your hip. “Call me Ben,"

You looked over your shoulder momentarily, shooting him a polite smile. Spencer bored his eyes into the side of the agents face, slyly enough so that he wouldn’t notice.

"Could it be possible that we take a look across the flooring, you know, check inside any of the clases for some clues we may have missed?" You said, lifting your chin and facing Agent Mirthwood. He smiled bumptiously at you.

"Why I'd be delighted to accompany you and help you look out for whatever it is you're looking for—"

"Actually," Spencer butted in, somewhat protectively if you let yourself assume— given how the tone of his voice had grown territorial. "Hotchner specifically implied we stick together as the pair we were assigned, and we usually work best when just the two of our heads are looking around."

You furrowed your brows, looking up at Spencer with confusion. His tone alarmed you momentarily, and at first you wanted to grow defensive because who was he to boss you around?

You took in the familiar line-out of his clenched jaw and how his shoulders broadened ever so slightly. You noticed he had chosen to stand between you and Agent Mirthwood, and suddenly it dawned you and hit you harder than a ton of bricks.

Spencer Reid was jealous.

Despite the weird feeling nagging at your chest, you couldn't contain how a smug smile began to appear onto your face. Somehow this newfound information cave you a newfound cockiness— you finally found something you knew had the upper hand on.

"Actually Ben," You dodged Spencer, making a B-line for the broad man you had only recently met. You tried looking as innocent as you possibly could, the look you always used to get men right into the corner you needed them in. "I'd actually love having your company. I'm gonna need someone watching over me up there."

Spencer froze, looking back and forth as the darkness in this guys eyes only increased and suddenly— he panicked. Spencer was panicking because he genuinely thought you were going to leave with Agent Mirthwood and he wouldn't be able to watch over you or him, or anything you did with him—

Then he saw it. The way you turned, shooting him a challenging glare over your shoulder towards him.

"You wouldn't mind, would you Dr. Reid?"

“I—“ His fists tightened as he stared at you, stunned. Something underneath his gaze was warning you that you were pushing him close to his limits and you loved it.

“One of the victims was attacked up there and then dragged herself all the way down here,” You watched the agent explain broadly.

“That must’ve been horrible,” You added an almost feather like gasp to your words. He knew damn well that you knew what this officer was saying was nothing but false due to how the crime scene was framed.

“Yeah,” Ben took a step closer to you and Spencer couldn't even stop himself when he pried through, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him territorially.

“Bosses order. The rest of you keep looking around to see if anything looks out of place."

Spencer dragged you all the way up the stairs and into the empty hallway on the second floor. You struggled to keep up, complaining pretty vocally that your heels were screwing up your rhythm, especially in comparison to his long and hurried strides. You finally dug the palm of your foot into the ground and yanked your arm away.

"What the hell is your deal!?" You clamored, knowing you had him cornered. He turned, pushing his lips into a straight line and looking at you in complete silence.

“My deal!?" He shot back suddenly, gesturing towards you in an exasperated motion. “You barely know the man and you're willing to walk somewhere with him alone..!”

You scoffed. "Oh please, like coming up here with you is any better."

"You don't run the risk of getting potentially murdered by me." He said, trying to prove his point.

"You sure about that?"

Spencer looked at you and something shifted behind his eyes. Your face was furrowed with nothing but pure anger as you huffed widely. Spencer opened his mouth and closed it once again, hesitating whether to say what he was about to.

"You're being unprofessional." He blankly stated. Your mouth fell agape.

There was that fucking word again— You felt about ready to murder him. There was adrenaline coursing through every nerve of your body at this point.

“What did you say?” You almost whispered.

“I said you’re being unprofessional.” He stated nonchalantly. You gaped at him before tightening your fist and resisting the urge to punch the crap out of that smug look.

“I’m unprofessional?!”

“Yes,”

“That’s because you’re making it hard for me to work with you!”

He rolled your eyes at you and became indignant.

“Stop doing that!” You barked.

“Im not doing anything,”

“You keep treating me like im stupid,” You pointed a finger at him. “Stop acting like you’re so much better than me when you are not.”

Spencer clamped his mouth shut, seeing you blaze with anger. “Ben would be a way better company than you,”

“Why do you keep saying his name like that?”

You huffed. “Like what?”

“Like—“ Spencer stopped, sucking in a sudden breath as if he hasn’t been breathing since he walked up here with you. “Never mind,”

You scoffed. “No come on,”

You took a dangerous step towards Spencer, now only a few inches away from his face. “Say it,”

“Because I think Ben, pissed you off the most when he had his hands on my—“

Spencer quickly grabbed your face in between both his hands and slammed his mouth onto yours. You inhaled visiously through your nose as you melted immediately under his touch.

Everything froze right then and there as he pulled away quicker than he had leaned in. Your face still remained cupped gently in his hands while your grip was tight on both his wrists as you stared at him, mouth low in shock. A shaky breath left his mouth, and fear was pooling around in his eyes.

You could feel your own chest heaving as you looked back and forth at his eyes, still not grasping what had just happened between the two of you. Spencer towered over your small frame, holding you as if you were the most fragile thing in the room. It felt like there was a rope pulling between the two of you and it was right about to break. His thumb grazed your bottom lip and you could practically hear the chord snap.

All the anger drained your body instantly as you caught yourself pulling him onto your mouth with just as much desperation as he had previously done. Your movements were hurried and frantic, as if both of you were scared that at any point this new found standing point would stop disappear and distance would be put between the two of you. The last thing you wanted was for his body to be any farther away from you than it currently was, and not understanding why you suddenly felt that way, angered you even more.

His mouth hungrily moved against yours as his grip on your face tightened. Your hands snaked their way into the back of his soft curls and pulled at them roughly, emitting a groan from his mouth onto yours.

Out of all the times you'd provoked a groan from Spencer Reid, this had been your all time favorite.

In frantic movements, Spencer pushed you against the nearest wall, hearing a rough thud come from behind you but never once disconnecting your lips from his. His hips pushed against your in one rash motion, causing you to whimper softly against his lips, which reached the deepest parts of him

His hands traveled anywhere and everywhere you'd let them. They ran down your waist and stopped at your hips giving them a rough squeeze which only caused you to squirm once again and pull at his hair ever rougher.

Everything was messy and hurried but so unexplainably wonderful.

"Tell me to stop and I will," He muttered over your lips.

"Don't—“ You warned, panting desperately for him to grab you in ways you could have only dreamt about. You needed to feel his hands rake across your body as if he owed it. “Please, don’t”

Spencer’s heart shuddered as he could visibly hear the desperation in your voice. How you were practically begging for this just as much as he had been. How you melted under his touch so effortlessly.

Before Spencer could move any further, a voice cut the two of you off. “Hey, guys!”

You pushed Spencer off yourself with a little more urgency than you had initially intended. You ran your hands through your hair frantically and pushed your skirt down, which had accidentally— not so accidentally— been pushed up. Spencer on the other hand, settled with a simple, subtle gesture of grazing the corner of his lip to remove some of the nude pink lipstick that had smudge a bit onto his face.

He cleared his voice before turning to whoever had called out, but before he could say anything you quickly interjected. “Morgan? JJ? What are you doing here?”

Spencer could’ve allowed himself to smile at the sound of the quiver in your voice and how your body was still distraught by the adrenaline.

Morgan eyed the two of you and it didn’t take any time at all for him to realize what had happened. The shuffled hair, the puffy lips along with all the wrinkled clothes. Not to mention how both of your chests heaved heavily.

“We have an advance on the case but it seems like you two are busy with something…” JJ stated, looking over at Morgan from the side of his eye.

“Or someone,” He added. You tried to find some sort of defense in your favor but came up with none. You didn’t want to even look Spencer in the eye, so you quickly turned and headed for the staircase, when you approached Morgan, he whistled lowly.

“Someone got a piece of genius boy and enjoyed it—“ You smacked the back of his head.

“Hey!” He groaned, looking back at you while you strutted down the stairs, barely being able to keep your balance steady.

i am planing on doing a spicy part two😝

[talaok]

The Pause

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader

Summary: You and your colleague Javier Peña have never gotten along, but with just a simple proposition that started off as a joke, it turns out you do work well together in some areas.

Warnings: smut| fingering, oral sex (f receiving), squirting, protected p in v sex (ik me writing that they use a condom? Incredible), praising, size-kink, and reader is not shaved (bc lets be honest now yo girl is so over that) 

A roll of the eyes and a loud enough huff... the usual warm greeting reserved for your colleague.

"Good morning to you too" he mocked, raising his head as you sat at the desk in front of him.

"had a rough night?" he continued, wanting nothing more than to see that look on your face when he poked you just enough.

"Well I had a great one" he informed you like you cared, as he lit a cigarette.

"I'm sure you did" you finally spoke "Which one was it tonight? My money’s on Vanessa, you have a sweet spot for her"

He let out a small chuckle, knowing he had gotten exactly what he wanted.

He would have never admitted it out loud, but he loved your daily banter, and even more, he loved your smart mouth.

"Is that Jealousy I hear?"

Now was your turn to laugh "You wish, Peña" you smirked, "the day I'll start being jealous of you and your special friends I'll have officially gone insane"

His eyes slowly analyzed your face, making you feel more uncomfortable than you liked to admit 

" I think it wouldn't hurt you, you know?"

"what?" you sighed, organizing some files somebody had left on your desk during the night.

"a good fuck"

Your eyes shot up to his, a mix of disappointment and annoyance firing out of them.

"Unlike you, I'm not really into paying for it" you tilted your head, watching his hazel eyes closely "and not that it's any of your business, but I'm fine in that department"

"How long has it been?" he asked, like he knew, like he knew he was annoyingly right.

It had been a dry month, hell, a dry year.

"why, are you offering?" you raised an eyebrow, not backing off.

"why... are you refusing?" he mirrored your expression, a smug grin tugging at his lips.

Your breathing slowed, and time stopped for an infinite instant, all the office's noises blurred in the background as wrong, wrong images filled your brain.

like the one where that same mouth draped around that cigarette crashed with your own... or the one where his big, strong hand wrapped around your neck as his breath fanned against your lips, or the one where...

"good morning"

A whimper left your mouth, and as quickly as you tried turning away from Javier, you didn't miss the smug smile growing on his lips, or the way his eyes searched every inch of your face.

Fuck

"Hi Steve" you cleared your throat, praying to whoever was listening that the crimson painting your cheeks would be blamed on the heat.

The blonde nodded at you with a genuine smile as you willed your breathing to even out.

"Messina said two of us gotta go check out something"

"something?" Peña asked

"Yeah apparently there's a guy that might be able to give us some information" Steve shrugged

He said two, didn't he?

The look on Javier's face certainly cleared out any doubts you might have had.

Oh no. no way in hell I'm spending the whole day with him after what happened not even a minute ago.

"I'll stay behind" you blurted out, earning a frown from Steve and an amused grin from Peña.

You weren't fooling him

You were never one to back down on these things. You wanted to go on the field as much as possible, and they both knew that.

"I just-" you muttered, trying to come up with a believable excuse "I have some things I need to finish up here anyway"

If Steve wasn't convinced, he didn't show it, but Javier on the other hand... Javier was looking at you like he could read every single thought crossing your mind.

"alright" Murphy sighed "Let's go then, Peña," he said, giving you a farewell nod before starting down the elevator

Javier lingered for a moment longer, bending much closer than he needed to as he put out his cigarette in the ashtray between your desks.

"Goodbye y/n" he spoke lowly "I'll be back"

and to anyone that would have sounded like a normal thing to say, but to you... to you, it sounded only like a threat.

__ __ __

Turns out you didn't need to lie, turns out that there actually was a lot of shit to do at the office.

The hotline had been buzzing all day, and being that you were the only dea agent available, most calls had to go through you, plus all the reports to go over and the forms to fill... you didn't even realize how much time had passed before Messina startled you as she walked out of her office.

"Goodnight agent" she called, making you glance up from your desk for the first time in the past two hours.

"goodnight" you called absentmindedly, as you took in the office... it was deserted, not one single soul at their desk.

What time is it?

You glanced at the clock hanging on the wall to your right

9:30 pm 

9:30 pm?

When the fuck did that happen?

the elevator dinged in the distance as your boss stepped into it.

You must be seeing things, because there's no way in hell... nope, the clock was still telling the same exact time.

"fuck" you exhaled into the empty room, running a hand down the length of your face.

Ok, it's definitely time to go home.

You glanced at the papers on your desk and divided them into two piles, one of them going into your drawer, and the other in Messina's office.

You sighed heavily as you got up, the old chair creaking under your weight.

The click of your heels against the tiles echoed off the walls as you made your way to the Messina's door.

She's not gonna be happy about how many papers she's gonna have to look over in the morning...

You turned the doorknob and the door emanated a soft shriek as you pushed it open.

You walked to the desk and just when you were about to drop those papers on it, a voice rumbled from beside you

"You waited"

You gasped, turning around immediately in shock

"Jesus Christ!" you breathed, realizing who it was "You scared me"

"I'm sorry sweetheart" Javier spoke softly

sweetheart? When did that happen? And when did my body get permission to react this way?

He was leaning on the doorframe, his arm crossed over his broad chest.

"what are you doing here?" you asked, retracting your hand from your hammering heart and finally setting the files on the desk.

"I told you I'd be back" he put simply "We never got to finish our talk this morning"

You swallowed what felt like sand in your mouth,

A part of you, a naive, stupid part of you, was hoping he would have already forgotten about that, but of course, it's Javier F. Peña we're talking about, and when it's about torturing you... you can be sure he'll never forget anything.

"what talk?" you lied through your teeth

maybe miracles are real, maybe he'll just let it go.

He didn't respond, he didn't need to, he saw right through you.

He smirked instead, uncrossing his arms and taking a step towards you.

Now your heart wasn't racing from the scare, this was all him.

You were the only people in the office, hell, the building probably, and he was right there in front of you, looking at you like he could see right through your clothes.

"You paused" he murmured, now towering over you

"What are you talking about?"

Fake it until you make it, right?

"You paused this morning"

You frowned, pretending not to know exactly what he was talking about “Listen Peña I gotta go home, so if you-“ you moved out of his way, starting towards the door, but before you could actually exit the room, his hand on your wrist stopped you, making you turn around

“Do you want me to fuck you, agent y/l/n?”

To say heat rushed to your face was an understatement

“What the fuck?” 

“Oh don’t look so surprised, I saw how you looked at me before” he cooed, wetting his lips 

“And how did I look at you?” you shook your arm out of his hold, just for him to get even closer to you, his body now inches away from your own

“Like you wanted me to say just that” he murmured “like you wanted me to bend you over your desk and take you right there in the middle of the office”

A breath got caught in your throat, and as much as you wanted to get out of his penetrating gaze, you couldn't do anything but stare at those endless wells of brown.

I don't know what to say, What the fuck could I say?

The same pleased grin was adorning his lips, and for a moment you pondered whether you wanted to smack or kiss it off of him.

"I don't know what you're talking about" you managed to say, praying you sounded more confident than you actually felt

"c'mon sweetheart" he chuckled "I know you want it" he breathed, ducking closer so he could whisper in your ear as he moved some hair out of your face "A good fuck wouldn't hurt you... you're always so tense"

He drawled out his words like spells

"You're confident for a man who needs to pay women to fuck them"

he smiled amusedly at that

"Is that a challenge?"

"most definitely not" You ignored the shiver running up your spine

he raised his head again so that he could look at you

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, y'know," he said "It would just be two friends helping each other out"

"since when are we friends?"

"fine then" he agreed "Two colleagues"

Was he being serious?

Did I fall asleep at my desk and this is just some fucked up lucid dream?

"c'mon baby" he persisted, his hands finding your waist "I can make you feel real good"

"Peña..." you breathed, trying to get your mind to collaborate and realize what a fucking mistake you were about to make

"yes, sweetheart?" the bastard asked, his voice dropping an octave.

You gulped, cursing yourself internally

There was no turning back, your mind was already made up... and he knew it too.

You glanced out the door.

No one was here,

No one would ever have to know about this.

"If I agree... we'll never speak of this again ok?" you stated "This never happened"

The widest grin you'd ever seen split his face

"You sure about that, baby?" he murmured, "that way..." he brought his right thumb to your mouth, slowly tracing its shape "How will you be able to beg me to do it again?" 

You snorted "please"

"Ok, how about this" he proposed then "I promise to never speak of it again, if after we're done... You can sincerely tell me that that wasn't the best sex of your life"

You laughed again, "fine"

"You can't lie" he reminded you, his mouth now ghosting yours

"I won't" you repeated "Now can you please just-"

"Gladly" he muttered, but before you had time to respond or think of any other rules to impose, his lips were already on yours, and his tongue had slipped into your mouth

He was...hungry

Both his hands wrapped around your waist and he picked you up like you weighed less than a feather.

The squeak you let out was muffled by his mouth, but you somehow managed to wrap your legs and arms around him in the haze.

his hands were on your ass, and the groan he let out didn't even try to hide just how much he liked them there.

You could feel his mustache, taste his cigarettes, and his scent was wrapped around you like a mantel, and god you hated admitting it but it felt good, he felt good

And you were so caught up in everything that your body was feeling for the first time in so long, that you didn't even realize he hadn't stayed still, but in fact, had walked you right in front of Messina's desk and was now sitting you on it.

Oh god

Why did it now just tick that you were in your boss' office?

"changed your mind yet?" 

Javier on the other hand, couldn't have cared less

"From just a kiss?" you teased, cocking an eyebrow

He snickered, parting your legs so he could fit in between them.

His mouth trailed away from yours until it found your ear "Well I am very talented with my mouth" he murmured, before biting your lobe.

You wouldn't have even realized you had moaned if it wasn't for that smug smirk on his face.

"Oh don't worry" he cooed, his mouth now lowering to kiss your neck "I'll show you in a minute"

His lips started a slow, torturous trail down your neck, each peck sending a ripple of warmth to your core, and when his teeth grazed your collarbones, then you couldn't do anything but whimper, as you threw your head back.

You couldn't see him, but you sure as hell could feel that smile on his lips.

Next was your blouse, he took his time gently undoing each button, reserving a kiss for every new inch of skin he uncovered, until the fabric wasn't doing anything to cover up your bra, and all he needed, and hence did, was to get rid of your shirt.

"fuck" he muttered mostly to himself, all his eagerness showing for a moment as he removed your black bra like his life was on the line "Where have you been hiding all this?"

"I haven't been hiding anything, and you know it" you scoffed "I catch you staring at least twice a day"

A soft chuckle fled his throat "Can you blame me?" he asked, his eyes focused on your body "I mean look at you" his hands traveled up your belly until they were cupping your tits "You belong in a museum"

And you knew he had probably said that same line to more girls than you could ever imagine, but the blush on your cheeks rose nonetheless.

But before you had time to lie and ask just how many those girls were, he had ducked and sucked your left nipple into his mouth.

"oh shit" you whispered, hypnotized by the image in front of you.

He caught you staring as he opened his eyes, and just when you were expecting a snarky comment, he only smirked before taking your other nipple into your mouth.

This time you closed your eyes as you moaned just to be safe.

He let go of your skin with a pop, making you whimper.

"Can I take off your skirt sweetheart?"

What is this, a joke?

"mh-mh" you hummed

"All the sudden you don't wanna talk?" he mocked "Use your words baby"

You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes 

"Yes, Javier, you can take off my skirt"

A smirk pulled at his lips

"Good girl"

If you were wet before, those two words had now rendered you completely drenched, and that look on his face told you he knew exactly what he was doing

His fingers quickly slipped under your skirt, and before you knew it, you were sitting in front of him in only a pair of black panties, and your work heels.

You were breathing as if you'd just run a marathon once he started peeling your panties off of you.

"wait" you suddenly remembered 

"What is it sweetheart?" he stopped

"I-" all the sudden you were embarrassed "I didn't shave"

he looked at you like you'd just told him to go fuck himself

"Baby girl, you're insulting me" he cooed, stoking your sides "You take me for a man who cares about that sort of thing?"

"Oh," you breathed "I just-"

"You got me all wrong sweetheart" he shook his head, slowly kneeling between your knees and gradually taking off your panties in the process.

"god, you're beautiful" he breathed, once you were entirely bare before him.

And again, red crept up your cheeks.

He picked one of your legs up and unhurriedly bent down to kiss you just above your ankle, and then your calves, and then your knee, and then all the way to your inner thigh, until you were screaming internally and your heart was beating faster than you thought humanly possible.

he took his time placing your foot on the chair next to him, so you were spread wide for him, and then did the same thing all over again to your other leg, only changing his routine when he placed your leg on his shoulder instead of the chair.

You were close to hyperventilating.

"Javier..."

"What sweetheart?" he teased, his lips now inches from where your body was begging him to be "You're already desperate?"

"You-You wish" you lied

He chuckled, and the vibrations of his voice went straight to your core, making you whimper

"no?" he taunted, kissing you even closer to your cunt

"no- just-" you swallowed

"what? Tell me what you want baby"

"You know what I want" you begged

"I do, but I wanna hear you say it" he murmured, kissing you just above your pussy "I want to hear you begging me to lick this pretty pussy of yours"

"That's not going to happen" you breathed

He grinned "You sure?" his lips lowered to kiss your clit

"fuck" you moaned with a thread of voice

"You sure you don't want me to?" he asked again, his lips now finding your hole "'cause that would be a damn shame..." he continued, the tip of his tongue now finding your core for just a second "You look fucking delicious baby"

"I-" you stuttered, shutting your eyes "Javier c'mon"

"I want to hear you say it, princess" he smirked, "What's the magic word?"

And fuck him, but you were desperate

"Please" you surrendered "Please Javier just-"

The rest of your sentence died in your throat as he finally dove down, taking your pussy into his mouth.

"Javi" you whimpered, clutching his head to your body with one hand and gripping the desk with the other.

You had never called him Javi a day in your life, but this seemed as good a time as any.

He sucked on your clit first, stretching it into his mouth and going back again and again making you squirm and desperate to come, before starting to devour every other inch of you, licking up and down and swirling his tongue over your nub, getting drunk on your taste.

"Shit- oh my fucking god" you panted, losing every bit of decency you had and grinding against him.

His mustache was tickling your skin, only making you want to moan louder.

Good thing you were the only people left in the office.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any better, two of his thick, long fingers plunged inside of you.

"Fuck-javi!" you screamed

he curled them inside you while he didn't even dream about stopping his work on your clit, and you couldn't do anything but arch your back as a series of obscenities left your mouth.

his other hand came up to palm your breasts and again, a shock of pleasure coursed through you as he added a third finger.

"Oh god- that's-" you moaned "Javi"

You didn't even know what to say, you just knew that you hadn't felt this good or full in far too much, if not ever.

Three fingers of his didn't even compare to the two of yours you had spent months using as some sort of relief.

"I love it when you say my name like that baby" he leaned away for just a moment to say, before resuming his work of art.

"f-fuck" you cried "Javi please"

"What is it sweetheart?" he asked, his fingers pushing in and out of you filling the room with an obscene sound.

You were soaked.

"Javi I think-" You felt your stomach start to shake as the orgasm was about to take hold but... but something wasn't right.

"fuck javi something's wrong I-" you moaned, 

You had never felt like this, it felt like... it felt like you were about to pee.

"I think I'm gonna-"

And before you had time to finish, he pitched your left nipple and a tsunami of pleasure washed you all the way to the shore as your vision went white.

You were sure your moans could be heard from outside of the building.

"Goddamit sweetheart" his deep voice brought you back to reality

You opened your eyes, and he was... he was glistening, and- and that wet spot on his shirt wasn't there before, was it?

"Did I-" Your eyes widened

 You...squirted? You didn't even know you were capable of something like that

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen baby," he said, looking at you as if you'd just turned water to wine "Was this your first time?" 

"yeah" you nodded

A smile spread on his lips as he stood up again 

"You still sure you aren't gonna beg me to do that again?"

"God, I hate you" you breathed

"yeah? Enough to let me fuck you apparently" he murmured, before crashing his lips with yours, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

"Shut up" you mustered, before he kissed you once again.

You racked your hands down his chest, fumbling to undo his shirt's buttons.

thank god he didn't wear a tie today

Once his shirt was off with his help, you let your hands move down his body until they found the bulge in his tight jeans.

"fuck" he groaned, as you palmed him through the fabric.

His belt was even harder to take off.

"Eager sweetheart?" he cooed, undoing his belt for you, and while he was at it, unzipping his pants.

"Shut up"

He smirked that same smug smirk he seemed to have stapled to his lips "We'll see who'll be the one who won't be able to talk in a minute" 

"I'm not sucking your dick, Peña"

"That's not what I'm talking about baby" he murmured, getting rid of his pants and boxers at the same time.

Your gaze lowered and- oh shit

"fuck" you muttered, not even realizing you had

He chuckled, his chest raising with his voice "What? Too big for you?" he mocked, kissing your cheek before trailing his mouth to your ear "Don't worry, I'll go slow just for you, sweetheart"

Your mouth was still agape, but you were finally able to tear your glare from his member.

"Do you-" you swallowed "Do you have a condom?" you remembered.

In no time he materialized one from the pocket of the jeans pooling at his feet.

"Of course" you huffed out a laugh.

He didn't pay you any mind you as he rolled on the condom, and you watched the motion, mesmerized by... well, by how big he was.

He caught you red-handed, and his grin only widened.

"Open your legs for me sweetheart" he ordered, and something in his tone made you oblige immediately.

He positioned himself at your entrance, taking his dick in his hand and sliding it between your folds.

"fuck" you moaned softly, closing your eyes

"I want you to look at me" he stopped you, "You look at me when I'm inside you, baby"

You hesitated a moment before doing as told, looking into his lust-filled eyes.

"Good girl" he praised you, before finally entering you.

"Oh my god" you moaned at the stretch.

"That was just the tip sweetheart" he smirked, pushing himself even deeper.

Just the tip?

You looked to where your bodies were meeting and, to your dismay... he was right

How is that all gonna fit?

"It's gonna fit" he read your mind, retracting his hips just to thrust himself deeper "You're gonna take it all like a good girl y/n" he murmured against your mouth, as his fingers found your clit "and then when I'm done with you" he forced his cock into you again making you quite literally scream "you're gonna feel so sore you're gonna remember me every time you take a step"

And with that, he drove his whole dick into you, making you bite your own lip so hard you could almost taste blood.

"God you feel good" he groaned, starting to find a slow pace "so fucking tight for me sweetheart"

"fuckfuckfuckfuck" was all you could cry out into the air

it was so big

and so deep

"I know" he cooed, kissing your neck, before fastening his pace.

"Javi!" you screamed, one of your hands going to grip his shoulder to keep you anchored to this world.

It was nothing like anything you'd ever felt. You could feel him everywhere, taking hold of every single part of your being.

"Look at you" he murmured, kissing ur lips again, even if they were parted as you gasped for air "Taking it so well" he cooed, his fingers resuming their work on your clit "Being such a good girl for me" he continued, his breath fanning against your mouth "letting me use this pretty pussy of yours" he groaned, as you sucked him right in "drenching me with all your juices" he growled "so so good"

"javi please" you moaned

"do you even know what you're begging for?" he asked "Or are you so cock drunk that brain of yours has stopped working?"

"I-" You tried to come up with a comeback, but all you could do was whine and whine and then whine again.

 "fuck" was now his turn to moan "babygirl you feel so fucking good"

"Javi"

"Yes say my name sweetheart" he thrust into you more harshly now, more deeply even somehow "Scream it"

"Fuck-javi!"

"just like that" he nodded, looking you right in your eyes as he split you in fucking half "Just like that baby"

"Javi I'm-" you whimpered, not able to find the words

"You're coming sweetheart?" he found them for you "You gonna drench me again?" he asked mostly himself "No you need to have it licked to do that, don't you?" he realized "fuck I can't wait 'till you'll let me have a taste again"

"oh my god" you moaned, as pure ecstasy ran through your body "Fuck I'm-"

"come all over me baby" he urged, grunting with every one of his deep fucking thrusts "Be a good girl and come on my cock"

And that was all you needed, that's all you heard before you were screaming his name as loud as you could, letting him drill you into another earth-shattering orgasm.

"fuck" he groaned, just after you were done, "fuck-y/n" was all he could muster before he too, had the best orgasm of his life.

it took a moment before any of you got enough breath in your lungs to do anything but stare into each other's blown-out pupils.

"So?" he asked, not even bothering to pull out

Part of you was still wondering if this was a dream, and the fact you couldn't feel most of your body certainly didn't help

"You know" you rolled your eyes

He smirked "I do know, but I wanna hear you say it"

"Yes, alright?" you admitted

"Yes, what?"

fuck. me.

"Fine" you sighed "Yes, Javier, it was the best sex of my life"

And again, his grin only got wider "Good" he said "'cause it was mine too" he gave your lips another quick peck "and there's no way we're not doing it again"

[allllium]

I really love your fics!!! They’re seriously just 10/10. Could you maybe do something with Jason Todd getting a crush on the new vigilante in town? Or him meeting his childhood best friend after being resurrected (possibly him saving them as Red Hood) and just SIMPING over how much they’ve changed since last time he saw them. Like, his mind just going “minemineminemine” and “Yes, I am now a married man”

Love your work!!! ❤️❤️

Miss You

~ Fluff, WC: 1,119

~ Jason meets you again

Jason had a best friend, before he died that is. Ever since he came back he's felt alone, no one being able to fill the hole left when he lost you. Lost you isn't the right word. He can go to you at any time, replace the friendship he craves to have again, but he won't. Call it pride, call it self-doubt, call it whatever you want but he'll never do anything to fix it. Not unless he has too.

You're walking along a strip of dark buildings. Not a smart choice but definitely the fastest to take after a long night shift. The only thing you want to do is fall into your bed and sleep a whole day away. Living in Gotham means you are no longer surprised or scared by the constant yelling and booming noises. Most of them are made by teenagers doing dumb things with their friends or random people deciding to fight in the streets. They don't last too long considering the millions of vigilanties that are always running around.

But tonight as you walk by multiple allies, on a dark street, near where you know multiple self declared "gangs" hang out, everything is silent. Somewhere else, anywhere else, that'd be a good thing. But right now it gives you the chills. Every step you take feels like it's being watched, no, like it's being analyzed. Like something or someone is trying to memorize every move you make. A gaze you somewhat recognize.

Jason doesn't mean to be a creep. He really doesn't. But he can't look away. After he died he never thought he'd see you again. Everyone told him you stopped showing up to dinners and didn't answer any of their calls. It was hard for him to think of never seeing you again, he didn't know a time in his life when he didn't know you. Now he finds himself sitting on a windowsill on the opposite side of the street, unable to look away from you. You've changed a lot since he last saw you, but somehow you still look exactly the same. Jason has never had a crush on you before. Of course he always wondered what being with you would be like, and he's thought a lot about how amazing it would be to kiss you, not to mention the hundreds of times you've had him blushing like a crazy person. But he's never had a crush. That'd be insane.

You continue walking around as if nothings bothering you. The last thing you want to worry about is someone watching you. It's probably nothing. On the other side of the street you can hear thumping every couple of feet. It doesn't take a genius to know the sound is coming from someone jumping from roof to roof. You look over just in time to see someone land on their feet. It's obviously one of the vigilanties, guessing by their size and stature.

Jason feels his heart almost stop when you look directly at him. He knows you don't know it's him, how could you after all this time and in the dark, but it makes him panic just a little bit. You'd think after everything he's had to deal with he wouldn't freak over such a small thing. It's not until he sees you raise your eyebrows expectantly that he starts making his way off the roof and towards you in the street. He can't believe how much you've changed, how amazing you look.

You watch intently as he comes closer. It only takes a moment before he's standing face to face with you.

"You better have a damn good reason for following me."

He doesn't answer.

"Hello? If you're going be a creep at least explain why."

All you can here is heavy breathing through his mask.

"Okay this is just weird." You begin to walk away but he grabs your arm to stop you. "Did you really just grab me?"

"I'm sorry." You don't recognize his voice but something is pulling at you. You let out an angry breath.

"Are you gonna explain yourself yet?"

"I wasn't trying to be a creep I promise." He starts to defend himself but trails off. "You walked by some bad people earlier and I wanted to make sure you got home safe."

"Mhm. What else?" You cross your arms over your chest, not believing he gave the whole explanation.

He pauses again. For a second you believe he won't answer. "You look good."

"I thought you weren't trying to be a creep, what the fuck?" You take a big step away from the man standing to your front.

"No no no no that's not what I meant." He tries to come closer to you but you take another step back.

"I don't care what you meant, that's weird man."

"Where do you live?"

"Okay I'm leaving now."

"No wait, again not how I meant for that to sound. I just mean I can give you a better explanation when we're not standing in the middle of the street." He rambles.

"Fine, but I expect no more excuses."

You reluctantly show him to way to your house. Now that you've been closer to him you recognize him as Red Hood, a newer vigilantie. He's a good guy, he wouldn't hurt you, right?"

"Here we are." You announce as you step up to unlock your door. Red Hood follows you a little too close.

"It's nice." He says quietly, almost as if he's unsure of his voice.

"Thanks. Now explain." The second the door is shut you demand to know more.

"I'm not really sure how to say this."

"Well you don't really have a choice do you?"

"No I guess not. I've never been able to say no to you." He makes a sound that almost seems like a laugh.

"Never? Do we know each other?"

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna need more than a single word."

Instead of saying anything he takes off his mask Suddenly every makes sense. Or as much as it can when you're dead best friend is standing in front of you.

"Jason." You smile.

"Hi. This isn't how I wanted to do this."

"No? How did you?" You take a step closer to him.

"Well to be honest I wasn't. I really didn't expect you to know I was there."

"You aren't very quiet." You turn away and take a seat on your couch.

"I should probably work on that." He sits next to you. You look amazing."

"Thank you Jay."

"Aren't you going to ask me anything?"

"I will later. Right now I just want to sit, I've missed you."

"I miss you too."

[trueangel420]

Tate Langdon ‘one two ur the girl that i want’ imagine // insecure! fem reader & kinda sorta perv creep tate. ౨ৎ

Hanging out with tate was always the same, he’d play his guitar for you sometimes—make you listen to his music it was all so peaceful his mom wouldn’t be home half the time neither would his step father so he’d just bring you over, do whatever he can to keep you there for as long as he could. you were his neighbor of course, that’s how you two met he ran into you after noticing how you’d sit at the same spot in your yard, and cry. at first he didn’t feel anything but the more he watched you from his window the sadder he got—i mean why would a girl like you cry? he didn’t understand so pretty, so smart, perfect family perfect friends.

Ever since then he’d be by your side, he’d make sure to stay there consistently—he’d bring you to his room play his little nirvana songs and watch you sway along to them. he was enamored, and obviously obsessed, why couldn’t he keep you or atleast keep memories of you. that’s when a idea popped into his sick head—he bolted to the nearest camera store and got himself a little camcorder, stationed himself at the same window he did to watch you as always, it was his routine now. and he’d record, he’d watch you analyze yourself in the mirror, shed a tear or two maybe even sometimes tug off the tight clothes you never wore outside and opt for something baggy, something that wouldn’t show your figure and he adored your figure. he would watch you drift between outfits for coming over, and sometimes he even prayed, yes prayed that you’d for once get out of your own head and wear something like that for him—something so revealing. He finished recording and closed his blinds, setting up the room for you with music playing idly in the background. He fixed his messy blonde locks and grabbed his rings, sliding them onto his fingers. He knew you liked them, and he liked that you liked them. With everything set, he heard your soft knock on the door and let you in, you entered his room, immediately feeling the familiar comfort of the dim lighting and the soft strumming of his guitar in the background. He watched as you looked around, taking in the effort he put into making the space inviting for you.

“Hey,” he greeted putting his guitar down, his voice gentle as he took in your outfit, baggy pants again, extra large shirt again, he didn’t want to say anything about it yet—it wasn’t the right time. “i got your favorite snacks and stuff… i wanna show you something” he said making you feel curious, you shifted uncomfortably in your spot it felt like he was analyzing you sometimes and you were scared of it, someone as good looking as him would probably notice all your flaws everytime he looked at you, you debated on sitting next to him on his bed like usual, but you were just too— “Hey are you listening? come here” he murmured. You watched him pat the spot next to him, his dark eyes intensely trying to make out the outline of your body again. “C'mon, pretty girl,” he coaxed softly. You shuddered at his tone. Pretty girl? Was he speaking to you?

“Wha-... huh?” you gasped.

“Pretty girl,” he repeated with a small smile. “I wanna show you something.” He moved towards the end of the bed, grabbing the remote and patting the spot next to him again. “C'mon, it can't wait.” You hesitated but eventually made your way to the bed, the curiosity in his voice compelling you to comply.

He fiddled with the buttons on the remote before showing a blurry video. It was your house, it looked like. You felt the bed shift as he moved closer to you, glancing at you. “This is the most beautiful thing I've ever filmed,” he murmured, his breath brushing your face as he watched the screen. The camera zoomed in on your window, staying steady as you held your breath. “I didn’t know you were into... flim,” you said quietly, watching the footage. The camera waited for a moment. Your lights clicked on, and there you were, standing in the mirror, critically staring at yourself as always, holding up two different outfits—one comfortable and revealing, the other big and baggy. A lump formed in your throat as you watched further, blinking slowly, trying to understand if this was real. Tate was recording you? Watching you?

��Look at that shirt… oh, and that dress,” he said, speeding up the video to highlight the clothes that fit you better. You didn’t know how to feel—nervous? Scared? Appreciated? “Sucha pretty girl,” he mumbled again as you kept your eyes trained on the TV, unable to look away. Your mind raced, emotions swirling as you tried to process the reality of what you were seeing. You felt exposed, vulnerable under his intense gaze. Despite the confusion and fear, a small part of you couldn’t help but be drawn to the way he saw you, even if it was through the lens of a camera.

His voice broke through your swirling thoughts. “I just wanted to capture how beautiful you are,” he whispered, leaning closer. “You never see it yourself.” You couldn't tear your eyes away from the screen, watching as the video showed you trying on different outfits, each frame feeling more intimate and invasive than the last.

“T-Tate, this is wrong…” you stammered, finally looking at him. A smile tugged at his lips at your comment; he didn’t care. He just wanted you to know how he felt. “This is... this is invading my privacy, Tate,” you added, trying to sound disgusted, trying to seem uncomfortable by his admiration. He shrugged, his smile not fading. “I just wanted you to see yourself the way I see you. You’re always hiding, always doubting yourself. I thought maybe if you saw what I see, you’d understand.”

“Who do you think you are? You don’t know how I see myself. You don’t know me,” you snapped, trying to keep up the facade of discomfort. But Jesus, the way he looked at you…with those deep brown eyes, god—it was like you were the sun and he was the earth, and that’s all that mattered now. It almost distracted you from the fact that you were on his TV, undressing.

“I know everything about you, pretty girl,” he said, his voice unwavering.

“No you don’t”

He hummed lowly at your denial, leaning against your neck, his face pressed gently into your skin. “I like you,” he whispered, his breath hitting your neck and sending goosebumps rising on your skin. He liked you? Tate Langdon? Like you?

“No, you don’t… you’re just saying that. You’re trying to make me feel better. I bet you don’t even think about me,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. He paused for a moment, his gaze drifting to your lips as he took a second to gather his thoughts.

“Pretty much all I think about is you... It’s practically all I think about,” he muttered under his breath, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “Me? You think about me?” you scoffed, trying to mask the flutter of hope in your chest.

He hummed in agreement, slowly pulling your body as close to his as possible, eliminating any space between you. “Yeah… only you,” he murmured, his hand resting on your back and grabbing the edge of your baggy shirt. His lips ghosted against your skin as he spoke, a grin playing on his face, making you feel both vulnerable and exhilarated.

“...I didn’t want to scare you off just yet. I’ve been waiting patiently, pretty girl,” he muttered, his fingers moving along your hip in a mindless motion. “Hell, I know your entire schedule. Every little thing you do on a day-to-day basis,” he continued, his lips now gently touching your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “Be my girlfriend,” he whispered, his voice low and filled with longing.

Was he serious? You, out of all the girls? He chose you? Your eyes widened in disbelief, and you felt like a deer in headlights. You wanted to say yes, and with the way he was looking at you, you felt you had to say yes. “Are you serious?” you whispered, the insecurities lacing your tone. You searched his face for any hint of doubt, but all you found was sincerity. “So serious… Say yes, say you’ll be my girlfriend, and say you won’t go home,” his voice was breathy as he spoke.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. The intensity of his gaze, the warmth of his breath on your skin, it all made it impossible to think straight. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words.

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He grabbed your chin, his hold firm, his eyes boring into yours. “Say you won’t go home,” he demanded, his voice leaving no room for hesitation. You felt a mix of fear and thrill coursing through you, and with a shaky breath, you replied, “I won’t go home.”

“Say it like you mean it. Say you want to stay here with me, say you want to be mine,” he insisted, his grip tightening slightly.You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I want to stay here with you,” you said, your voice stronger this time. “I want to be yours.”

“Good... my pretty girl. Remember this, remember you’re my pretty girl,” he whispered, his grip softening as he caressed your chin. His eyes softened as he looked at you, a look filled with possessiveness and affection.

[mayajadewrites]

attitude problem – levi ackerman

pairing: captain levi x fem scout reader

synopsis: while being a part of the scout regiment, you've gotten spoken to numerous times about your attitude towards other scouts and even leaders. captain levi ackerman has had enough.

authors note: this is my first time writing a one-shot so please be kind :)

NSFW.

"Mikasa, do you ever shut the fuck up about Eren?" You roll your eyes as you finish your dinner. "I feel like I know every single thing about him and I barely even know the man."

"Just because you're alone doesn't mean we all have to be." Mikasa retorted, glancing at Eren. "Right, Eren?"

"Smart men stay quiet." You get up from your seat and walk to the trash can to clean off your plate of food.

"I guess I'm a dumbass then." You turned around to see Captain Levi standing behind you with his arms across his chest.

"If the shoe fits." You shrug your shoulders and walk the opposite direction of Captian Levi.

Unlike everyone else, you're not afraid of the Captain. Hell, you're barely afraid of titans. Nothing truly scares you and your personality radiates that.

You fix your cropped jacket as you walk back to your room.

Captain Levi calls your name before you can open your door.

"Come to my office. And that's an order, not a question."

Unfortunately, you cannot ignore a Captain's orders. You can try your best to bend the orders to make it worth your while, but to simply ignore is not what a scout does.

You enter Captain Levi's office and notice how pristine everything is. There is not a speck of dust on any tables, nor is anything out of place. Even the piles of papers look like they're placed in a specific order. His outfit looked like it was just cleaned and steamed - his white dress shirt without any wrinkles, his pants tailored perfectly.

Captain Levin shut his door, striding to his chair. He leaned back in his chair, sipping his tea with his hand above the top of the cup. "Sit."

You comply, sitting in the chair in front of his desk.

"I've gotten several complaints about your attitude lately." Levi's half lidded eyes looked at you. "Every day actually."

"Did you want me to say sorry?" Your eyes stayed on his, raising an eyebrow.

"You're a vision fighting titans, but socializing is not your forté."

"I could say the same about you."

This must've struck a nerve in Captain Levi since he stood up from his chair, glaring at you with his steel shaded eyes.

He stood up from his chair and slowly made his way over to you, eventually pressing his hands on the armrests of your chair. Captain Levi inched his face closer to yours to the point where you could feel his breath. "What are we gonna do about that mouth of yours?"

Your breath hitched as Captain Levi analyzed your face. He studied every detail of your skin as if it was the last thing he would ever look at.

"Captain." You whisper, your eyes meeting his. "Have you ever been this close to a woman?" A smirk formed on your lips.

Captain Levi pulled your body up to him by your shirt, pressing his lips to your ear. "Oh brat, you have no idea." You felt his teeth sink into your ear, an unexpected moan leaving your lips.

Captain Levi pressed his hands to your waist and brought you on top of his desk so you were above him. Still unsure on what you should do, you played quiet.

"Don't act all shy now." The Captain's voice almost always sounded seductive, but right now it felt especially so. The warmth from your core felt like it was going to burn a hole in your stomach. "Tell me what you want."

"I want to fuck you on your desk."

"Correction, I'll be fucking you." Captain Levi pressed his plump lips to yours, feeding your hunger for him. His tongue was impatient, pushing through his lips into your mouth. His hands were placed on your hips, squeezing them gently every now and then.

You can't lie, you've always thought Captain Levi was hot as fuck. Who didn't. But you never thought he would ever want to kiss you, let alone fuck you.

"I never realized you could be quiet for more than 2 minutes." Captain Levi whispered against your lips, snaking his hands up your shirt to your tits. "So these are why you're always in trouble for dress code. Your buttons are about to burst open." He took your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, pinching it gently.

"Captain," You moan, leaning your head back. Captain Levi began massaging your tits gently, watching your facial expression turn into pure arousal.

"Lay down." Captain Levi ordered, stripping himself from his shirt, slowly undoing his lower half. You could hear his belt hit the floor, which made you even more aroused. "I'm going to fuck you on my desk, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Captain." You lay down on the wooden desk, the cold surface creating goosebumps on your skin.

"Levi." He said, bringing his fingers to your pussy. "Look how wet your pretty little pussy is for me already." One finger slipped in, then two. Levi pumped his fingers into your pussy, curling them when he felt it was deep enough.

"Captain - God, Levi." You moan, reaching your hands out to grab something, anything.

Levi pulled his fingers out of you and pulled his underwear off, kicking them to the side with his ankle. You looked up at the size of his cock, and holy shit, it looked perfect. You could see pre-cum drip from his tip and you were mentally begging for him to slam himself inside of you.

"You want this?" Levi said as he put his arms over you on the desk.

"Yes." You moan again, barely holding onto control.

"Yes what?" Levi inched closer to your face.

"Yes please." You whimper as he guided his cock into your pussy, feeling your walls stretch to the size of him. Levi's eyes rolled to the back of his head as he pressed into you, his strokes long and gentle.

You didn't expect Levi to be gentle while he was fucking you, but he was. His hands caressed your face as he pulled in and out of you, planting kisses on your face and neck.

Levis lips found the sensitive spot on your neck where he began biting and sucking, leaving a hickey.

"Levi, fuck." You moan breathlessly, wrapping your arms around his neck. "You feel so good."

"I'm the only one that can handle this pussy filled with attitude." His pace quickened, kissing your lips gently. "Remember that."

You felt your walls pulsate around his cock, chasing your high. "Levi, I'm gonna cum."

"By all means." Levi thrusted inside you faster, helping you attain that high that you've been dreaming of. The world shattered and it was just you and Levi. Levi's pace was quick and uneven now and you knew he was about to reach his euphoria.

He pulled out quickly and released on your stomach as he breathed heavily. Once he came down from his high, he grabbed a towel from his drawer and cleaned you off before himself. Your legs were shaking and your pussy was still dripping with arousal.

"Remember that the next time you mouth off."

[inbabylontheywept]

Someone had to go first.

In an odd first, I forgot to post this HFY story here until after it was voiced by BirbletonVA. Their channel actually did such an insanely good job that I would actually strongly recommend listening to it over reading it. Nonetheless, the text is provided below.

Please like and subscribe to their channel if you like their work.

The first ship that arrived was pretty matter of fact about its fate. The pilot introduced himself as Eric, and told us he was part of the first sublight resupply attempt in modern history. He then gave me and the ground control team his bad news.

“So,” he said. “Without real time telemetry, we weren’t even sure which half of your orbit you’d be in. That’s half a solar system’s worth of wiggle room. Decelerating enough to survive contact with your low orbit would take me two weeks, which, you know, it looks like we don’t have. That means that in order to get the second ship in before you lose orbital control to the Kresh, I’m gonna have to make a sacrificial flyby. Ten to the negative four torr is good enough for a lot of things, but at point-seven c it’s gonna be like sandblasting a soup cracker. Good news is that all the expensive toys are in the next ship, so this really ain’t costing you more than a ship and a pilot.”

“You knew,” I said. If they put the expensive toys in the second ship, they knew that the first was likely a sacrifice. No one smart enough to handle orbital physics would miss that.

“I did,” he said. “But someone had to go first.”

That was, of course, a lie. No one had to go first. No else had had, at least. When our connection to the FTL network was lost, we’d understood that as the end of our reinforcements. Doing resupplies via sublight was just too risky. It was a testament to Earth that it had accepted the risk and continued anyway.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” I asked. This man had come here to die for us. I wasn’t sure how much I could give, but what I had was his.

“I do have a few requests,” he said. “First up, I need as much high-orbital data as you got. The whole lot.”

I began directing tightbeam resources to him immediately. It was an easy resource to exchange - it wasn’t like there was anyone else out to talk to anymore. When we lost FTL, we found ourselves very, very alone.

“Second,” he said. “Right, I know I’m gonna sound like a princess right now, but I have been stuck in this stupid tin-can for almost two-years now, and I seriously overestimated how much I like synth music. If you have anything that’s analog - I don’t care what kind of string or drum or brass you play, but I’d kill to hear something without a beep in it.”

I jumped my own queue in the tightbeam, and added a short playlist that I ripped from the local web. Human Music, it was labeled. 3 Terabytes. I prayed there was something on it that he’d like.

“And third,” he said. “Third. The uh, next pilot is pretty mad at me. Turns out this will just be one of those things left unfinished. That’s all death really is, I guess - a lot of unfinished things. Let him know that he was right: He is a better pilot than me. But tell him that wouldn’t have made a difference here. Bad luck beats skill, and this luck was shit.”

I promised, and he went silent after that. We could see what data he was analyzing, and the short answer was all of it - everything from atmospheric density to troop positions and his own ship’s blueprints. He knew he had one shot at this, and that if the price wasn’t paid here, it would be paid by whoever came next.

---

Ground control didn’t get a verbal warning that he’d entered atmosphere. Just a ping. A little here-I-am, whispered in the dark.

After that, we could keep track with visuals alone.

He hit the outskirts of the exoatmosphere in his first pass, burning bright enough to be seen with the naked eye. He caught the sparse particles like a kite, trying to shed enough speed to hit actual low orbit. Automatic telemetry updates gave us the grim news for the ship: Thermals were holding up decently, but the ablative was wearing out fast.

The entire descent brought us more than two hour’s reprieve. The Kresh hadn’t expected to see a resupply, but they knew what one meant: Get it now, get it fast, or deal with a stream of new troops. They could buy themselves ten days' time by shooting this one ship down now. That was an eternity during a siege.

The first loop lowered the speed by about a twentieth of light. The pilot responded by pulling the ship in tighter, burning trying to preserve more ablative plating by trading off with thermal. Seven fighters were close enough to fire off heat seekers. I don’t think the Kresh had ever anticipated shooting down a craft coming in that hot - the missile's decoy avoidance countermeasure actually made it steer around the thing, chasing down loose pieces of shrapnel. Cooled fragments, still hotter than an engine, should be at full blast. The simple mistakes bought it enough time to enter pre-orbit, and the fighters had to stop their pursuit. They weren’t willing to die to stop the ship.

Our man, on the other hand, was already committed to that course.

A third loop followed a fourth. Ablative coating went from 65% integrity, to 30%, to 5%. Telemetry scans were exceptionally detailed - the pilot was making the flyby count. The last message we got from him was simple:

Are you EMP shielded? he asked, not even bothering to encrypt the text stream. He didn’t have time to process more than that.

Yes, we replied. We knew what he was thinking, but it was still a shock to see it. The fusion torch flared hot, burning through the nozzle and feeding directly into the craft’s dueterium supply. The reaction went super critical, and the resulting neutron pulse set off everything in the ship with a z-count higher than iron. Three continuous seconds of EM interference screamed through the comms as the hulk burned through orbit.

The explosion itself wasn’t powerful enough to kill the Kresh ships still in high orbit, but it made enough broadband radiation to blind both sides LADAR. The man must have been a hell of a pilot - half the shrapnel went down and got burned up as it entered the standard atmosphere, traded as the cost of moving the other half past lagrange. Standard evasion would’ve made the pieces easy to dodge, but with LADAR down, all the Kresh could do was sit still and cower as the wrath of a dead man riddled them full of holes. Our best ace had managed to shoot down seven ships before this before getting shot down himself. The wreckage of the freighter took down six.

---

The second ship came in stealth. One second, we were holding attrition in high orbit, the next, something the size of a small station came ripping through the atmosphere.

It did the same trick as the former - swapping between ablative and thermal loads, coming down at a speed that the Kresh fighters didn’t even try to match. Armies could be built in years, but skills like this took decades.

Telemetry connection was established almost as an afterthought. The way the ship casually ate through ablative armoring made my eyes water, but the pilot himself seemed pretty non-plussed.

“You’re down to fifteen percent coverage. You need-

“What I need,” he said, “is to see the previous ship’s telemetry. If there’s one thing you can trust, it’s that this bird is going to come down gentle.”

He cut off my chance to reply by flicking the channel off. We watched, and we wrang our hands, but sure enough he came in six minutes later with 4% of the ablative left.

I met him on the landing pad. Under normal circumstances, we’d have needed twenty-four hours for the craft to cool enough to even approach, but we’d had cryo ready just in case. Three tankers of nitrogen, and the loading area, at least, was cool enough to touch. Safety would have to take a backseat to speed here - we needed the supplies fast.

But those both would take a backseat to a promised conversation with the second pilot. He was out of the craft as soon as the air was cool enough to avoid scalding his lungs, picking through the workers to try and find who had the telemetry data.

I found him first. The drive went into his hands, but I needed to keep my promise with Eric before letting go.

“You’re better than the first pilot,” I said, and I wasn’t lying. If the previous flier had been a saint, this one was a god. “But you wouldn’t have been able to manage the landing either. There just wasn’t time.”

“Let me see,” he said, tugging on the drive. “Just let me see. I have to know I couldn’t do it either. I have to know that someone had to die.”

I let go of the drive and he stalked back into his ship. I didn’t follow. I figured I’d pushed things far enough as it was.

---

The second pilot left the ship six hours later. He looked bleary in a way that put me at ease. I’d been up the last six hours directing supplies from the ship. Everything from ground-to-orbit rails to AGI targeting systems was inside, and to say it was gamechanging would be an understatement. It was good work, but I was tired, and I didn’t want to have to pretend otherwise. Seeing the other man with bags under his eyes meant we could just be frank with each other.

“I couldn’t have managed it,” he said, half-ashamed, half-relieved.

“It just wasn’t possible,” I agreed.

We sat there a moment longer. I didn’t mind the break. This was time well spent.

“Did it hurt?” he asked finally.

“Ablative failed before heating,” I said, which was the technical way of saying no. “He overloaded the reactor before the ship actually broke up and did some kind of slingshot maneuver - hit the main body of the Kresh fleet with half a space station’s worth of shrapnel.”

“Good,” he said.

I knew the signs. The tremor in his cheek, the way his jaw clenched - it wasn’t professional, but I hugged him anyway. Let him have the dignity of choosing to weep instead of having it wrenched out of him.

It was a gift we’d all been given at some point in this war. At least now, there was the hope it could be over soon.

[merakiui]

thinking about androids again, but rather than the plot seen in android jade,,,, consider android floyd who is being developed by tech genius idia shroud with input and funding from business magnate azul ashengrotto.

(cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, obsession, vaguely implied non-con/dub-con, android floyd)

He's designed to be a companion for those who are lonely and in need of the company (whether physically or socially). You're just a tired, overworked university student, so it's mind-boggling to you when there's a sleek limousine parked just beyond campus property. Security guards are insisting you come with them because there's someone who'd like to meet you.

In the limo, you find yourself sitting across from Azul Ashengrotto himself. He doesn't bother with flowery introductions, instead cutting to the heart of the matter. You've been randomly selected to help with a very important phase of his and Idia's project. The general idea is to test how well the android interacts with a normal, ordinary person in a monitored setting.

You're very confused. You never signed up for any lottery, and you certainly aren't affiliated with anything of that sort. You're just trying to get through your degree, survive two part-times, and hopefully make enough to keep afloat for another month. Azul tells you this isn't an issue; you'll be generously compensated for your time and efforts. It's only three months; you'll be permitted to live your life as you normally would, only now you'll be accompanied by a highly intelligent android.

Despite hearing all of this, you hesitate when he reveals the lengthy contract. As you flip through it, analyzing each clause and category, Azul says something that piques your interest. "We don't expect you to house an android in your little apartment. Goodness, that's simply ludicrous. We'll provide your housing for these next three months. After all, we must be able to monitor your progress."

"Housing? What do you mean?"

He smiles at you. Backdropped by leather interior, the lights casting odd shadows on his face, he looks near-sinister. But he leans forward to press a ballpoint pen into your hands and the illusion vanishes. "I think you'll find it quite to your liking. If you've finished your classes for the day, why not visit the property with me? Then you may decide whether you wish to participate."

You're not worried about that part. What worries you the most, however, is the fact that he's right. You are finished with classes for the day and you have nothing planned. You took today off from work. Your schedule is perfectly free.

But of course the Azul Ashengrotto wouldn't know that, would he?

The house is a smart home, equipped with every necessity and appliance. Everything's controlled by a remote here. It's not very far from your university either, built on a hill that overlooks houses below. It feels a little isolating and smells very new and clean. Like that fabled new car smell, only it's a house. But everything is so unique to you. Its minimalistic design is oddly cozy, and you can't help but feel enchanted the deeper you venture through the two-story home. It's all so unreal!

Azul gives you the rundown, explains how the remote and each button works. You can lock doors, open and close windows, mess with the thermostat, turn the home security on and off, and even start the oven. You hold the power to this home in the palm of your hands. It's immensely fascinating.

By the end of the tour, you're shaking his hand and signing his contract, agreeing to three months of study. Not only are you provided this nice home, you'll also be paid per week. And the pay is far more than you were making with your two jobs.

The android has a long, tongue-tying serial number, so to make things easier he's named Floyd. They even gave him a surname in preparation for the twin android who is being designed to complement and mirror him. He certainly looks human when you meet him, but there's this uncanny nature to his presence that slightly unnerves you. He's too perfect. Skin too smooth. Eyes too bright. Hair too soft. He towers over you, having to bend down to walk through the doorframe, and every movement he makes is very mechanical and stiff.

Still, you smile at him and offer your hand. "Hi there. I'm (Name). Your...housemate, I guess."

He nods, peering down at your hand before lifting his own. "Floyd Leech. At your service."

You were expecting to feel coldness, so you startle when his hand fits into yours and it's warm. It feels so very real. So deceptively lifelike. You wonder if he can regulate his own internal temperatures. Just how advanced is he?

"Right... Um, I look forward to getting to know you!"

He nods again, releasing your hand after a perfectly timed handshake.

Azul had given you a special number should you need to reach him or Idia. All you needed to do was phone it if at any point you were to feel confused or unsafe. "But I don't think you'll utilize it," he told you when you stood in the lab, watching Idia Shroud flit around to do final maintenance checks to ensure Floyd was ready for his first trial run. His eyes were open the entire time, two mismatched lights centered on you. His stare was listless, but somehow you felt as if he was looking through to your very soul. "He's very safe. In fact, he's programmed to assess and react appropriately to dangers of all kinds. You'll be safe with him around."

And safe you are.

You've always been alone, so it's nice to have a roommate, even if he only speaks when spoken to. It's awkward for all of one week until you ease into his pattern. From various vantage points throughout the house, Idia and Azul watch through hidden cameras. You cook your meals for yourself and Floyd watches, assisting when you order him to. You leave for class and Floyd waits by the door for you to return, standing stock-still for hours.

You lounge in the sitting room and put on all kinds of films. Action. Comedy. Horror. Floyd's eyes never leave the screen. But sometimes he watches you more than he watches the movie, noting all of your reactions. He doesn't understand why you get so emotional over sappy romances. So you explain it simply: "It evokes emotions. We all have emotions, and these movies make us feel them. Happy. Sad. Angry. Upset. Things like that."

But Floyd doesn't feel. Even so, he listens and he nods along, filing your answers away for later dissection. It's interesting.

By the end of the first month, Floyd's adopted new habits. Ever since you told him he's free to do as he pleases, he's taken to cooking your meals for you, doing your laundry, preparing your bag for the day. He's surprisingly good at it. He does chores when you leave for classes or work. And for the first time in a while you're excited to return home, knowing he's there waiting.

Floyd adds new words and phrases to his ever-expanding vocabulary. You watch a lot of TV together and he starts to use some of what he hears in his own speech. He picks up informal language quickly, and it isn't long until he's using words like sup or dunno instead of the rigid how are you? and I am unsure he was previously programmed with.

The first sign of unrest comes when you realize Floyd's also connected to the smart home. At first you didn't think it was a bad thing. After all, with him controlling it you won't have to worry about getting up to grab the remote if you've already sat down. Floyd can do that for you. But then the remote goes missing, later turning up shattered. You ask Floyd what happened and he looks at you and says, "Why use this piece of junk when you've got me?"

"Still... What if you're not able to help? What if you're in sleep mode and I need to open a window or something?" you argue, cradling the splinters of remote like they're an injured baby bird.

"That won't happen," he replies smoothly, issuing you a soothing smile. "I'm always gonna be here for ya. Count on it."

And you do because, by the time the three months are nearing their end and Floyd's developed into quite the companion, more and more human than he's ever seemed, you find yourself stuck.

No, not stuck. That's not quite right. You're more so trapped.

Floyd locks the doors, shutters the windows, turns off the lights. You're cowering in the closet, the only place that feels just a little safe in this moment. You can't reach Azul or Idia either. He's shut the power off, the internet connection, everything. The smart home on the hilltop feels like a tiny island now, and Floyd's the shark always circling it, waiting for you to dip your feet into the depths.

"C'mon, Shrimpy," he calls out, and it's a nickname you were once so fond of because he thought of it himself. "I already told ya I ain't gonna hurt ya. So just come out and talk to me."

You have no idea where you went wrong. Was it too many horror films? Was it the fact that you started to rely so heavily on him for companionship, ignoring your human friends in favor of staying in with Floyd? Or was it because he was blocking their numbers that you never received any messages and automatically assumed they were cutting contact? He said he'd always be here for you, so why to this degree?

The closet doors are thrown open. Floyd drags you, kicking and screaming, out by the ankles. Every camera has gone dark on Azul and Idia's end. All but one. The one in the bedroom. Floyd stares directly at it when he lifts you up and lays you on the bed, gentle and sugary-sweet.

He smiles and waves before that screen blanks out, leaving you truly trapped with him.

And because it's all experimental, morbid curiosity trumping ethical morals, no one comes to rescue you.

Three months is more of an indefinite forever in this lonesome smart home.

[piracytheorist]

Twilight Eyes Project: "The Prestigious School's Interview" (part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2

Previous episodes analyses

After the blunder at the Eden interview, the Forgers sit in their living room, disheartened and worrying for the future of the family.

Twilight, in particular, sits with his head down and pensive Twilight eyes as he chastises himself for letting his emotions get the better of him and potentially cost him the entire mission.

To him, this might be the very end of the mission right here. It was a very delicate mission to begin with, and all that's needed is a small mistake to throw it off-balance. Has that mistake already been made?

Lost in his thoughts as he is, he doesn't realize how Anya and Yor have taken that whole situation - and he only sees it when Anya, dejected, apologizes to him for not doing well at the interview.

His eyes soften, though keeping the harsh strokes of "Twilight eyes", as he looks genuinely shaken by how impacted Anya is. Not exactly the usual "sad eyes" focused panel, but it's close.

He replies to her that there's nothing for her to apologize for, and that Eden is a school she wouldn't really want to go anyway; it's only because he chose it for her. He's trying to alleviate her guilt by reminding her that she had no choice in the situation, he was the one who randomly took her from an orphanage and threw her into immediate preparation for an elite school.

Little does he know, however, that Anya chose pretty much all of that. And so, when Anya walks up to him and leans on him, his surprise shows in wide real eyes.

Anya makes it clear that she wants to go to Eden, that she has to go there. The anime adds a close-up of his face falling in sympathy for her.

Anya stresses and worries herself for her entrance at Eden, and while he may not fully understand the reason why, her dedication touches him.

I would dare say it even worries him back. His mission is to carry all of that responsibility and stress on his back so that children won't have to do that themselves. It's not ideal to see Anya try and carry some.

But, he's been vulnerable long enough. Now it's time for him to pull himself back and analyze the situation. Twilight eyes are back, as he concludes that things are not looking well.

There's an interesting difference in the manga, between the way he looks at Yor and the way he looks at Anya. The face on the left is him looking at Yor - open eyes, relaxed brow. The one in the middle is how he looks at Anya - narrowed eyes, furrowed brow, tight lips.

It's no surprise. Even though he sees Yor as simply another asset of the mission, he sees her as more of an equal, who has faith in her words and is smart enough to make her own conclusions. So when she says they can still hope, he seems to think himself that wait, they can?

But then Anya adds her thoughts, and understandably, he doesn't see her as someone who is mature and experienced enough to know of such things. So when she says Evans and Henderson liked them, he seems to think that she's hoping too high.

The anime kept a look that's closer to how he looks at Yor. In any case, their words touch him, and we get an extra look in the anime, and interestingly enough, a sad eyes shot as well.

In the end, he concludes it's out of his hands now, and all he can do is wait for the results to come out. His eyes relax and soften, and he comforts Anya and Yor, praising their hard work.

In the last big image we get of him, his eyes are big and lively.

Those last two faces may not be his real expression; right now they've done all they could, and there's no reason for anyone else to worry, so he tries alleviating the others from the stress. It may not be an ideal situation for him, far from it, but he shifts his focus into comforting them, and I find that quite interesting. There's no reason for him to do that; if Anya passes, they'll all be happy, if she fails, the mission will end, they'll part ways and he'll never see them again. Yet, he seems to recognize how hard they worked, and after Anya's short confession, how invested they also were in it, so he makes sure they know that's appreciated. So whether his last expressions were forced or not doesn't matter, because the action of recognizing their efforts speaks for itself.

(no manga spoilers please)

[mxtxfanatic]

A-Qing and Wei Wuxian: An Under-Discussed Analysis

While many different Yi City comparisons and relationship breakdowns have been made, one that I don't think I've ever seen is between A-Qing and Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is probably the first living being to treat A-Qing with respect and not fear or revulsion after her death. He plays into her jumpscare trick by allowing her to scare the juniors, but also addresses her respectfully, the directness of which initially arouses her wariness. He trusts her to lead him and the juniors to safety, being able to understand that she does not mean any of them harm. This is a trust she then reciprocates when she allows Wei Wuxian to perform Empathy on her to share her wish to avenge Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan:

Wei Wuxian smiled. “Mm, you’ve thought about this, very good. This is exactly how you should analyze the situation—don’t ignore any suspicious details. Now then, let’s ask her to come inside and clear up any doubts about this case.” After he finished speaking, he immediately removed one of the wooden boards blocking the window. The youths inside the dim room and even the ghost outside were startled by his sudden movement. She raised her bamboo pole in defense. Wei Wuxian first waved to the ghost. “Miss, you’ve been following us this whole time. Do you have some business with us?” he asked immediately.

—Chapt. 36: Flora IV, fanyiyi

The ghost of the blind, tongue-less girl had returned! Wei Wuxian made a snap decision. “Let’s go!” “Go where?” Lan Jingyi said. “Follow the sound of the bamboo pole,” Wei Wuxian replied. “You want us to follow a ghost?” Jin Ling said, somewhat startled. “Who knows where she’ll take us?!” “Yes, exactly. Follow her. The sound’s been tailing you ever since you got here, right? You tried to walk further into the city, but she was leading you toward the city gates, and then you ran into us. She was trying to drive you away—to rescue you!”

...

“Why don’t you come in?” Wei Wuxian said to the ghost girl. She wiped her eyes and face and ran at him, her entire soul merging with his body.

—Chapt. 38: Flora VI, fanyiyi

But the thing I find most interesting about A-Qing and her role amidst the Yi City arc's parallels is how alike she and Wei Wuxian are. If Xiao Xingchen is the parallel for Wei Wuxian's righteousness and the trajectory of his first life, then A-Qing is the parallel for his adaptability and unwillingness to passively accept evil cloaked in civility, as a lot of the moments where Wei Wuxian and A-Qing are most in-tuned are when A-Qing is showing off her survival skills or when they are both mentally raging about Xue Yang:

This girl really knows how to act wild. I understand now—she’s pretending to be blind. She was probably born with white pupils. Even though she looks blind on the surface, she actually can see. She’s using her appearance to pose as a blind person in order to trick people and win their sympathy. As a young, lone, homeless girl, if she pretended to be blind, others would naturally lower their guard. In reality, she could see perfectly clearly and could thus adapt to the situation. It indeed counted as a smart method of self-protection.

...

Ah-qing apologized repeatedly, but as the man was about to leave, he realized he wasn’t willing to let it go just yet. His unruly right hand found Ah-qing’s bottom and pinched her forcefully. As he shared her feelings, this was effectively the same as pinching Wei Wuxian. He instantaneously felt his skin crawl and become covered in a dense layer of goosebumps. He could think about nothing except slapping the man so hard he’d fly right into the earth.

—Chapt. 39: Flora VII, fanyiyi

Before she even opened her mouth, something small flew abruptly toward her. Subconsciously, Wei Wuxian wanted to dodge in case it was some kind of concealed weapon, but of course, he had no control over Ah-qing’s body. Soon after, he came to a sudden and startling realization: It’s a trap! Xue Yang was experimenting on Ah-qing. If she was truly blind, she shouldn’t be able to dodge! Ah-qing proved herself a veteran of posing as a blind girl at all times. She was quick: when she saw the object sailing toward her, she didn’t attempt to duck out of the way. She didn’t even blink. Instead, she allowed it to strike her lower chest, and only then did she jump back. ... He pointed the tip of the blade at Ah-qing. If she walked a few more steps forward, she would be impaled. But if she hesitated even a moment, the fact that she wasn’t truly blind would be revealed! Wei Wuxian shared all five of Ah-qing’s senses, and he could also feel the prickling at the back of her head. However, the girl had incomparable courage and composure, and continued to feel her way forward, expression normal. Sure enough, when her stomach was about a centimeter from the tip of the blade, Xue Yang drew back Jiangzai on his own and placed it back into his sleeve, exchanging it for a couple of pieces of candy. ... She was astonishingly shrewd, Wei Wuxian thought. Ah-qing hadn’t forgotten at all. Everything Xiao Xingchen said, she remembered more clearly than anyone. She had said the wrong thing on purpose, and since Xue Yang corrected her, he had effectively confirmed that he was also a cultivator. His test had failed, but she had tested him successfully in return. Though the girl was so young, her mind was surprisingly sharp.

...

Xiao Xingchen hadn’t had much prior experience with people like him and was easily amused—just a few of Xue Yang’s remarks could make him laugh. Listening to their pleasant conversation, Ah-qing viciously but silently mouthed a few words. After careful observation, it seemed as though she were saying, “I’m going to kill you, you horrible thing.” Wei Wuxian and Ah-qing’s feelings were the same.

...

There’s no way Xue Yang has good intentions, Wei Wuxian thought. He even wants to help Xiao Xingchen night- hunt. If Ah-qing doesn’t follow them, then we’ll miss something big. However, Ah-qing was indeed quick-witted and understood that Xue Yang was probably up to no good. She waited until the pair left, then hopped out of the coffin and followed them at a distance.

—Chapt. 39: Flora VII, fanyiyi

However, Ah-qing did not understand the cipher lying before her. Her knowledge was extremely cursory, derived entirely from the occasional moments when Xiao Xingchen had mentioned these subjects. “Could that rotten thing really be helping Daozhang?” she mumbled. Don’t start believing in Xue Yang so easily! Wei Wuxian thought. Fortunately, Ah-qing’s intuition was very sharp. Though she couldn’t pick out anything strange from what she saw, her wary attitude toward Xue Yang was deeply rooted within her. She hated him on instinct and couldn’t feel at ease with him. Thus, whenever Xue Yang followed Xiao Xingchen out to night-hunt, she quietly tailed them. Even when they were all at home, she never let down her guard.

—Chapt. 40: Flora VIII, fanyiyi

While A-Qing lacked the cultivation knowledge and skill to act on her knowledge to save lives, the courage and endurance she displayed while living with Xue Yang matches Wei Wuxian's own spirit. And because of this shared spirit, A-Qing is willing to entrust her life and after-life goal to Wei Wuxian:

Wei Wuxian sighed internally, then turned to Ah-qing. “We’ve troubled you.” ... Propped up on the side of the coffin, Ah-qing pressed her palms together and bowed repeatedly to Wei Wuxian. Afterwards, with her bamboo pole serving as her sword, she made the “kill kill kill” gesture she had often used when causing a ruckus. “Don’t worry,” Wei Wuxian said.

—Chapt. 41: Flora IX, fanyiyi

...a faith proven rightfully placed as not only does he (and Lan Wangji!) put an end to Xue Yang's reign of terror in Yi City, he also releases Song Lan from the curse of the nails and gathers the fragments of her shattered soul to give to him for safekeeping:

“Hold him down!” Wei Wuxian said. He leaned over and rapidly felt through Song Lan’s hair, searching for the two nails stuck in the corpse’s skull. Relief washed over him when his fingers found the ends: this pair of nails was much thinner than the pair which had been hammered into Wen Ning’s head. Plus, they were made of different material, so restoring Song Lan’s original consciousness wouldn’t be too hard. Immediately, Wei Wuxian pinched the ends of the nails and slowly began pulling them out. Feeling the foreign objects move in his head, Song Lan’s eyes abruptly widened. He let out a low hiss, and Wen Ning was forced to press him down harder to prevent him from escaping. When the nails were finally wrenched free, Song Lan immediately collapsed on the ground, entirely immobile, paralyzed, like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

—Chapt. 41: Flora IX, fanyiyi

After a moment of silence, Wei Wuxian produced two identical, small spirit-locking pouches and passed them over to him. “Xiao Xingchen Daozhang and Miss Ah-qing.” Though Ah-qing had been terrified of Xue Yang, she had closely shadowed her murderer, preventing him from escaping or hiding until Bichen had plunged its blade through his chest and he had finally experienced retribution. The seal Xue Yang had venomously thrown at her had shattered her soul. Wei Wuxian had run around frantically, trying his best to pick up the pieces, but he had only successfully retrieved part of it, and only after a great deal of effort. Now that Ah-qing’s soul was in fragments, it was in more or less the same state as Xiao Xingchen’s. Curled up in their respective spirit locking pouches, the two souls seemed extremely fragile, as though they would disintegrate right inside the pouch at the slightest bump. Song Lan’s hands trembled slightly as he received them. He held the pouches in his palm, too afraid to carry them by their tassels lest a shake destroy the souls inside.

—Chapt. 42: Flora X, fanyiyi

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Jeff and sully (separately please) if you were on a mission with your Y/N , and suddenly the target took you hostage and threatened to do damage Y/N If they don't let go the target

This got WAY longer than I meant it to, but I wanted to do something a lil different with it, I hope you enjoy

Jeff:

It's unfortunately common for targets to underestimate Jeff, being unfortunately common for the targets, that is. Jeff presents himself in public as the happy, calm, chill person he generally is, which makes most people assume he's weaker and not as smart as he actually is. Jeff is one of the top assassins in the mansion and one of the main leaders, and there's a reason for that. The second the target has you in their arms, Jeff is in analyzing mode, looking at your current state, the target's current state, space in the room, and weapon statuses, all to try and figure out the best move. The target is holding a knife to you, and they're shaking, not confident, but you're being good, as you and Jeff have talked over this scenario many times. Your breathing is calm, you're not resisting, you're looking at Jeff, waiting for any kind of signal. After a moment, Jeff nods at you, and you prepare yourself for the choice he's chosen to make. 

There's a window behind the target, and it's not high off the ground, and when Jeff says the target can go, Jeff drops his blades as a sign of defeat, the target lets go of you, and makes for the window like Jeff planned. Following one of many plans, you dive to the ground immediately, and Jeff pulls out the gun he keeps holstered on his back, and within seconds the target has a bullet in the back of their head before they even make it to the window. Fast instincts and quick movements are two of the things that landed Jeff as an executive leader in the mansion and two of the things that saved your life today. Before the target even hits the floor, Jeff has you in his arms and is holding you closely, checking on you for any injury or stress. Jeff is gonna have his eyes on you constantly for the next few days as you both try and come down from the fear the situation caused, and he's going to be much more careful with you in the future. He carries you home that night, refusing to stop holding you and loving on you, being the most affectionate and clingy that he's ever been, but it's something that both of you are in need of right now, so neither of you complain.

Sully:

Sully was never the thinker between him and Liu. Liu was always the planner and the decision-maker, and Sully was the one who executed those decisions as best as he could. Right now, as he internally screams at the sight of the target's unworthy arms holding you close to him, Sully wishes that he had Liu's planning capabilities, as he tries to calm himself down and think. If he lunges at the target you might be injured before he can even get over there, but if he lets the target go you guys might not be able to find him again and you'll both be in severe trouble with the one that commissioned Slender. It's obvious to you that he's overthinking things, and it's through sheer willpower of your stare alone that he finally locks eyes with you and takes a deep breath to calm down. The target yells at him that he's not joking, and he holds the knife in his grip closer to your throat, the jolt from it drawing a thin, red line across your skin, and it has the anger building inside of Sully once more. 

He locks eyes with you again, and you blink at him twice. He swallows at your signal, trying to remember all of the signals Liu wrote down for him one day to remember, and when it finally clicks in his brain, he nods at you. You take a deep breath, before slamming one of your feet onto the target's at the same time that you slam your head backward into the target's, causing the target to loosen their grip as they yelp in pain and get thrown off balance. At the same time, Sully lunges forward and readies his blade, sinking it into the target's chest before pulling it back out and going across the throat as well for good measure, getting revenge for the bloody scratch across your own throat. As the target falls, Sully rushes over to you, apologizing and pulling out first aid for your throat. As you assure him it's okay he shakes his head, pressing a firm kiss to you as he wraps your neck. He'll never live this moment down, and you both know it, so you allow him to care for you and return his affection, knowing he's going to be extra protective over you for a while. 

[ari-just-ariririe]

S1E5, 17th minute roughly, Will and Hannibal in his office

"Jack gave you his word he would protect your headspace, yet he leaves you to your mental devices."

'-' -=- "..You trying to alienate me from Jack Crofford? "

"I'm trying to help you understand this angel man that you seek"

"Oh, huh, help me understand how to catch him. "

This is such an interesting piece of dialogue between them. Of course, every piece is interesting, but this one especially!

Will is smart, you can't really manipulate him without him noticing, not really. Hannibal already saw him react quite quickly and actively to actually working with HIS mind (from S1E1 introduction of the two to the words that come right before: will noticing that Hannibal changed the topic to his mental state, ridiculing him for it but allowing him to proceed). So Hannibal knows Will knows when his mind is messed with in a psychiatric manner.

Will always asknowledges. He calls it out twice just in this scene, first the analysys and then the manipulation.

Now I wonder if it actually works — because the ridicule and the callouts are Will's coping mechanism of sorts, but the problem was now brought to his attention, and could he really keep himself from seeing all of Jack's actions through the question "has he been dismissive of my state" now?

But what I truly think Hannibal is doing here is shifting the focus not necessarily ON Jack, no, that would be too forward for a man-that-speaks-in-implications. He's shifting the focuse elswhere, away from himself, for now.

And truly the next two lines need to be analyzed in a separate post because they're about another thing entirely, but they go together so why not. Or do they?

The next two are.. Subtle and brilliant. Hannibal reveals his true intention here, to make Will empathise with these killers even more, to make him go into their heads deeper and deeper. Maybe to observe Will do it. But overall, it is truly just for Will to understand the new killer. He does not care for the killer to be captured, the motive is the empathy itself. In fact, he may benefit more form the criminal not being caught, since the longer the investigation, the deeper Will goes (see Hobbs's case).

For Will, he would rather catch the killer faster, so he doesn't have to do it at all. The empathy is even less than a tool, it is an UNWANTED tool — he hates when he has to use it, yet it is helpful, so he feels like he kind of has to. Because not using it means he is allowing people to be killed, basically.

So Hannibal tells Will the raw truth. With a bit of omission sprinkled on top, because the context prompts anyone to believe that Hannibal would want the investigation to succeed too. Only the viewer has this context, and can therefore understand Hannibal's true motive. Will doesn't know, so he can't. But he feels it somewhere in his empathetic guts, and therefore his emotional reaction is to call him out on it. He is annoyed with himself for not getting everything first try, always. And he doesn't quite know it, because Hannibal ruffled his feathers right before by psychoanalyzing him, but Will is annoyed Hannibal is not exactly helping him. Not in the way that hi wants.

[fumifooms]

Marcille & Chilchuck contrasts & similarities

Yesterday in the Dunmeshi Discord we talked about narrative foils and I ended up writing a lot about my fave duo so. Informal character analysis time. I give some in-depth interpretations on aspects of Chilchuck’s character near the end as well, not just analyzing their characters in how they contrast each other

Marcille and Chil are so foils to me. "Has experienced loss through death and now clings onto the people around her and is overly interested in engaging in social gossip" vs "has experienced loss through rejection and now refuses to open up to anyone until socially starved", both are responding to their experience with loss in fully different ways, socializing and trying to learn all she can for the short time she has with others but trying to keep digestible enough that she’s not too attached if she loses them, vs refusing to socialize so the problem stops before it begins but eventually unable to resist the pull that comes with being a social creature. Like I guess what I’m trying to say is that Marcille engaging with social gossip could be a shallow way for her to vicariously experience social relationships if she feels like forming deep bonds is unsafe. Family is a core motivation and value for them but in different ways. Both want to keep the status quo but in different ways.

Divorcee who avoids love wether it be in the people around him or thinking about his own (past?) romance vs hopeless romantic that idealizes love without herself having been in a relationship or even in love herself as far as we know. Middle child vs only child. Emotional constipation vs emotional intelligence. Streets savvy vs prestigious academic, field experience vs book smarts. Crass vs prim. Overbearingly social vs private to a fault. Never externalizes his feelings and to a degree represses them vs wears her heart on her sleeve and her feelings on her face. They start out underestimating each other in different ways, one by assuming his age and the other by undermining her skills, experience and willpower. Both seeing each other’s motives as somewhat skewed (money and research of shady magic respectively) but growing to respect them.

They also both seek approval and validation from others, unlike Senshi and even Laios who don’t seem to care about outside perception as much, Marcille worries early on that she’s not helpful enough and slowing the party down meanwhile Chilchuck is almost always trying to prove a point early on that he’s capable and mature. Coincidentally enough, Chilchuck’s approval was both the catalyst and the key to resolving her arc about it in the mandrake chapter, meanwhile besides Senshi Marcille is the one whose perception of Chilchuck gets the most changed over the course of the whole manga. Something else notable is how they deal differently with their races being judged, while Chilchuck reaffirms himself as a proud half-foot, Marcille hides her half-elf nature and is embarrassed of it when it’s revealed. Something subtle yet interesting is also how they both are shown to prefer lying in a way that makes them look bad rather than admitting ignorance on something. Chilchuck says that he cheated on his wife and that’s why she left rather than just saying that he doesn’t know why she did. Marcille in the mandrake chapter says that she has used a dog to harvest mandrakes (thus killing it) before while in truth she never has, and everyone including herself is like "That’s horrible… The poor dog!"

Their dad dies. Chil is like "Hm. Cool. Anyways he died doing smth he loved right so haha lemme drink myself into an early death bed too yolo 🔥🤟" vs "He died and it shattered my world and I must devote all my life to wiping death out of existence".

"I am going to knowingly shorten my lifestyle through unhealthy habits actually."

Problem solving approaches

One thing I love about them is how they have complete opposite approaches to problem solving. Besides striving for workers’ rights and job stability for halflings with an union, he’s very "laissez-faire". He won’t do the righteous thing just because it’s the right thing if he doesn’t have an incentive or a safety net, like going to save Falin. He doesn’t chase after his wife to talk it out and make amends, he gives her space and either hopes she’ll talk when she’s ready or figures that he shouldn’t try to do anything about it. He doesn’t mention the mimic he noticed to the others to not make a big deal out of it and hopefully it won’t come up again. He’s a "if the glass is half-full that’s fine enough for me, I don’t need things to be as good as they could be" type, a "leave it alone until it figures itself out" type.

Marcille? Marcille is idealistic and in-your-face. If there is an issue you better believe Marcille will address it and try her hardest to fix it, will talk it out and attempt to understand & strive to make things as best possible for everyone involved. She will FORCE you to talk about your FEELINGS wether you like it or NOT. Leaving it alone? Keeping things as just okay when they could be great instead? No no no no no, that’s not right, she’s going to try and fix it now. She will make you stand up and fight for the best that your life could be, to be honest when something bothers you and do something about it, will make you stop suppressing yourself because you’re scared of things getting worse.

Which, you know, both methods certainly have their pros and cons, but they’re very complimentary in that way. He grounds her into a more down to earth mindset and teaches by example that it’s okay if things don’t necessarily work out and moving on is possible and not necessarily miserable, while she encourages him to not give up so fast or stay quiet on things that bother so much. He soothes and she emboldens 🔥 Funny, because you could have thought it would’ve been the contrary, which is not untrue either, but he’s the "has experienced the harshness of life and has settled for something comfortable but modest" while she’s the "wants to make the world better and goes to great lengths to change it while still trying to find herself & uncomfortable with some aspects of life like loss".

One overly focuses on dealing with issues by changing things around her while the other overly focuses on only changing himself.

——

Chilchuck leaves things alone if he thinks they’re best left unaddressed or thinks they’ll work itself out. Like the mimic he didn’t tell the group about but it backfired later. Like how he didn’t chase after his wife or seemingly tried to contact her at all. Like how he prefers not to dig into people’s personal issues in parties and be left alone to deal with his stuff on his own as well.

Meanwhile Marcille is overbearingly in-your-face and loud and "if there’s a problem we’re dishing it out right here right now. Your wife left you?? And you didn’t try to get her back?? I am going to write out a script and a plan for you to apologize and please bring these piles of presents."

She’s secretive about her fair share of things as well but she’s very proactive. While she seeks to research something that’s a core motivation and life goal to her + save someone she deeply cares for Chil is there for his job and to get money and "hey if something happens I’ll have done my part. I took you guys here now you guys figure out the rest and fight the monsters or something". They both like to have a say in the strategy, Chilchuck moreso as time goes on, but Marcille involves herself much more into almost everything.

Espescially early on, they’re always sticking by each other judging Senshi & Laios together and being like "Am I seeing this shit right. They’re crazy right? Tell me I’m not the only one here with common sense" and forming a 🤝 relationship over it and considering that, it sometimes feel… Contradicting? How they also have a lot of conflict together over time about how different they truly are. But it’s interesting and nice to see how even though they do have arguments it always gets resolved pretty promptly, like they’re truly hashing it out as equals and then when that’s done they’re back to being on the same wavelength. The exception would be Marcille taking a long time to come around on Chil being old, but arguments and debates like the one on dark magic and if it’s okay or wrong to use it, which was pretty serious and not just banter? They came to find a middle ground or at least understanding, and it didn’t seem to lower the respect they hold for another afterwards.

Chilchuck’s repressing habit

I do think Chilchuck has a repressed thing where he doesn’t WANT to think about it about his feelings sometimes, like with his wife- and maybe with his father? But the way he was so casual and nonchalant about his father dying has always struck me. I’m not sure if this is a "my feelings on my father were mixed and complicated at best" thing or a "I just don’t want to spend time thinking about it" thing or something else, but it gives food for thought.

When it comes to alcohol there’s this saying where an alcoholic parent will have 2 kids and one will grow to be alcoholic too while the other will never even touch a drop of alcohol and both when asked why will say "I watched my father". Chilchuck is def the first I think. He gives the vibe of "An alcoholic parent puts a strain on familial relationships?? Pshh, my father was and look at me! I turned out great!" Which is something I’ve heard irl lol which always makes you go like 👀 yes indeed you’re perfectly well-adjusted and haven’t been affected by your father’s alcoholism at all it’s clear as day. On that topic, Chilchuck’s family, both currently and when he was a kid, are very interesting topics to theorize about with the hints and cues we have, how his wife truly felt and what happened for her to feel unappreciated enough to leave, how distant is he from his daughters if they haven’t seen each other in the same year either and Flertom was the only one to send him a letter? But that’s a topic for another day

Chilchuck probably has such a complex…. Of like not being… Like allowed to take space I guess? And he does wish to affirm that right, he takes space and asks for it so very overtly, he formed a half-foot guild to demand better working conditions as one of the biggest examples of that. He grew up poor and undermined but he knows that he’s capable and someone worthy of respect and demands it, and takes every opportunity to prove himself. But on the other end, he doesn’t seem to want to keep his hopes up in general, like asking for something to be better is bound to fail, that it’d be too good to be true. He tries to keep out of where his job doesn’t need him, from a sense of efficiency that cuts down on unnecessary stops but also because he just thinks it isn’t his place to do so. It strikes me that it’s hinted that like… He doesn’t even really consider the possibility of going to his wife and trying to mend the relationship. Like it’s either she’ll decide to take him back on her own or he’ll be left out in the cold waiting, never knowing just where he’s truly at with her and if things are over for good. Like… Shooting his shot and making his case doesn’t even register as an option? Like he’s not worth fighting for, like whatever he did wouldn’t change her opinion anyways?

He def has a "life isn’t like a fairytale where everything goes well" philosophy where sometimes it feels like he just gives up on how things maybe could be better, especially interpersonally. Maybe it’s why he focuses on simple joys like alcohol instead of trying to keep up with relationships which can be complex and very fickle, in his own words. Something like alcohol is predictable, always there to fall back on, safe, gives him sensations without other emotional/social risks attached. Ironic for someone whose job is all about risks, but understandable

He contradicts even himself… Bro yes you’re capable, yes you’re great, yes you matter, now maybe speak about your feelings maybe??? Or do you not think your emotional issues deserve to get fixed and have closure???? Are you so used to being dismissed, overlooked and undermined that you think no one will listen even if you speak up?? And this recontextualize his "I’m not even gonna try and talk this issue out because I know (assume) that it won’t solve anything anyways" approach, doesn’t it.

"I must break my party members’ stuff or lie to them because if I just tell them my opinion and my feelings that I don’t want them to die they won’t care anyways and keep going"

In a way everyone is the glue of the party in different ways, Laios giving the group a direction and a plan, Senshi keeping them fed and grounded, Marcille making everyone more social and encouraging bonds to form, and for Chilchuck he’s the one most focused on actually keeping everyone alive I think.

Conclusion

Idk I’m not gonna repeat every point but have this as a parting contrast:

Guy with shortest lifespan possible who doesn’t mind knowingly shortening his own with an unhealthy habit, here for a good time not a long time, VS girl with longest lifespan possible who wants to lengthen everyone’s life, who focuses on how long she can keep something or someone rather than how happy her time with it has made her already. They’re both loud in their own way, and both are still insecure despite appearances. In a way, both of them focus on taking care of others while overlooking their own demons.

[pigeon-paperweight]

My Kaku Good Guy Rant (help this is consuming my life) (this is very long)

(Spoilers for Water 7 and Egghead, obviously! I'll try and keep this in chronological order. I will mainly be using the manga for examples. This is gonna be lengthy, and ranty, and hyper-analyze...y. I will be using punctuation in this post for the sake of myself and everyone else.)

Let me start this off by saying: Is this the face of a man who hates his life?

Call me crazy (sarcasm), but I don't think so.

Kaku, though he is a Cipher Pol agent, is leagues away from any of the other Cipher Pol agents we've seen to date. The way he acts, the way he speaks, the way he treats others -- it all gets on my nerves because it makes me think he isn't so bad. But we've seen his actions! We've seen some of the things he's done and the bad people he is associated with! He's an evil person!

...Or is he?

Characters can do bad things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are bad people, because things aren't always just black and white like that.

We know that Cipher Pol agents are taken in as children, and they are raised through the eyes of the government. They -- as messed up as some of these poor kids seem -- are conditioned to think in a way where the bad deeds they do are deemed 'right', just because they do so for the sake of 'justice'. They don't particularly know that what they're doing is wrong.

Part One: Water 7

When we see CP9 act during water 7, I've noticed that Kaku specifically was less involved in the brutal beatings of Iceberg and Paulie inside of the Galley-la mansion. He seems to stand to the side and let Lucci do the dirty work, along with all the talking.

At the end of chapter 344, Opposing Force, Paulie is seen bleeding with the blueprints in his hand. We don't see who beats him up, but it can be assumed that it was Lucci, due to him being closer to Paulie. Lucci is also the first to grab the blueprints from him. Kaku stands still in the background.

However, they could have both been fighting him, as Lucci says "Your resistance against us is futile..." although again, Lucci seems to talk for the both of them, as Kaku doesn't say a word up until Paulie reveals that the blueprints are fake. Even then, after that, Lucci still does the brunt of the talking.

In my opinion, it's highly unlikely that Kaku would beat up Paulie, because as far as I've seen, Kaku doesn't lay a hand on either him or Iceberg, aside from gently checking Iceberg's pulse.

What makes me think this? Well in chapter 345, Luffy, in casual Luffy fashion, busts in just as Paulie succumbs to the beating, to which Kaku attempts to catch Luffy with his Tempest Kick. Luffy dodges at the last second, but is apprehended by Lucci as he is stuck to the floor using metal prongs to hold him down.

Lucci then yells at Kaku to restrain Paulie, because this was "no time to be fighting (Paulie is nearly K.O'd and bleeding out on the floor)", and Kaku does this:

Notice those little lines next to his head? He's surprised.

Now, he could be surprised due to not thinking about restraining Paulie since he's literally already been defeated, but Lucci knows that Paulie could become a bigger problem if he got back up, especially with Luffy there with him. I picture Kaku as a bit of an extension to Lucci, and since they're both very smart, Kaku would know this too, wouldn't he?

Paulie could get up and free Luffy, or better yet free him and team up with Luffy to 'beat' the both of them. Kaku already knows that Paulie isn't dead, because Paulie's still conscious right in front of him, so why is he so obviously surprised at Lucci's order? Why was it so important to draw those little lines next to him?

Perhaps he was surprised because he was worried Lucci would tell him to restrain Paulie, and he was hoping he wouldn't have to.

Another reason for these little lines could be that Kaku could have been zoned-out, maybe having some heavy thoughts (regret, guilt, or some sort of existential crisis), and Lucci snapped him out of it by getting his attention.

Backtracking just a bit, back to chapter 344, right when Paulie reveals that the blueprints were fake, Lucci and Kaku understandably share a moment of shock.

Kaku, more so speaking to himself rather than anyone else (as he trails off at the end of the sentence), says: "What an idiotic thing to..."

This doesn't have to mean anything, as Paulie could be seen as both smart and an idiot for revealing this in front of them, however I like to think deeper into it, of course.

Kaku could have been calling this action idiotic due to the fact that he knew they would've had to kill Paulie afterwards, and that Paulie likely knew this too, and was just revealing this out of spite and to witness their surprise before he died.

Kaku's words seem a little out of place here. Lucci, of course, just goes straight into 'let's kill this guy 'cause he got on my nerves' mode, but Kaku's response isn't what I would expect. When I read this for the first time, not knowing that these two were in fact Kaku and Lucci, this just stuck out to me (it still sticks out to me, even now), and I can't exactly put into words why.

Again, this makes me think: "Why add this? Why is this so important?"

If they weren't so rudely interrupted by Luffy, Lucci probably would have finished the job and killed Paulie right then and there because Kaku was still standing around not doing anything and just adding random commentary.

One more thing from this chapter, then it's onward and upward from here! We'll get to the Zoro fight and Egghead soon enough!

When Luffy bursts in awkwardly through the wall, interrupting this uncomfortable encounter between the three of them, I stated earlier that Kaku tries to hit him with a Tempest Kick. Right before this, though, Kaku has a moment of hesitation before attacking Luffy.

Of course, as I've said, this can have little to no meaning.

But, can it mean something? Yes!

This little panel of hesitation could be a wave of guilt washing over Kaku, as he knows Luffy and the Strawhats weren't involved in the attempted assassination of Iceberg like CP9 made them out to be. He knows the Strawhats are good people, but he's just following orders. He's aware of the situation they've stuck Luffy with. This bit of hesitation could be him just further instating to himself that this is what needs to be done to get these blueprints.

When Kaku reveals himself to be one of the government assassins, he replies to Iceberg's disbelief with: "You're the one in the wrong. None of this would have happened if you'd handed them over to the government when it asked nicely."

That's rather depressing, combined with the expression on his face.

What is "none of this"? What does that mean? Almost killing Iceberg? Beating up your friends?

His sad expression is pushing me to think that there are more layers to this than just causing harm to Iceberg/Paulie/others.

Why would he need to justify that Iceberg was in the wrong? They were doing this for that sweet sense of justice, after all!

Perhaps the "none of this" really does mean this entire mission, as the whole reason CP9 was sent to Water 7 was to retrieve the blueprints from Iceberg. If "none of this" happened, Kaku would have never been sent to Water 7 in the first place. Makes you think about why he looks so sad, huh? He would have never gotten those five years of bliss.

Remember, Kaku was only 18 when he started the mission at Water 7. That is wild to think about, if you put yourself in his shoes. You aren't even fully developed yet, especially your brain by that time!

If you wanna dive even deeper into this, just think -- all of the other CP9 members are older than Kaku. Granted, Kalifa only has 2 years on him, but they weren't super close during Water 7, so disregard her for now. Lucci was 23 at the start of the Water 7 mission, for more reference of their age differences.

Lulu is 8 years older than Kaku, and Tilestone is 10 years older.

Paulie, however, is only one year older than Kaku. Paulie is his peer. His close friend.

I'm not saying that any of the other shipwrights weren't his friends, Tilestone and Lulu's behavior alone disproves that, however having friends -- especially when you're a teenager -- that are among the same age group as you is important, so it's a little easier to infer that Kaku has an attachment to Paulie, which could be a reason as to why Kaku isn't seen fighting him -- he grew up with him in those five years 'away' from CP9.

After it is revealed that the masked assassins were, in fact, Lucci, Kaku, Kalifa, and Blueno, Kaku is asked to check Iceberg's pulse to see if they can guess the whereabouts of the real Pluton blueprints. We can assume, that from this action, Kaku still respects Iceberg, as all of the other CP9 members have been treating Iceberg like a damn doormat.

Very polite. Just wanted to add this quick one in.

Then -- this is important -- shortly after that, we get this:

Mhm.

To me, here, Kaku is being genuine when he says this. The other members can say that they "don't have anything against Iceberg", but I believe Kaku is the only one who really doesn't have anything against him. He really is thankful for the opportunities Iceberg gave him during his time on Water 7.

Through his actions, Kaku is very obviously genuine, no matter how much someone wants to say he's not. Lucci + Co. beat Iceberg senseless, while Kaku, who could have very easily joined in with the other members, did not. He respected Iceberg down to the very last moment with him, much like I feel he did with Paulie, too.

The next few examples are going to be small, with little bits of my thoughts, because trust me, I really want to get to Egghead.

These examples are throughout the next couple of chapters.

Kaku's face, along with the bubble of an ellipsis at the sight of Paulie. Ouch.

Why does he look so disturbed from the action of hitting Zoro with his Finger Pistol? I'll say it again -- guilt?

Just wanted to add this in because it makes me sad. "Honing their skills to serve the government" is all they're good for, and they all know it.

Alright! That wraps this part up, now we're going to quickly touch on Enies Lobby and Kaku's fight with Zoro, because, honestly, not much needs to be said about the latter half.

Don't worry, the next parts will be shorter.

Part Two: Enies Lobby

I'm adding this section in after I've already finished the Water 7 part, and LET ME TELL YOU: I am currently high on 1 a.m. exhaustion-induced goofiness, and I literally had a dream about finishing this post last night so I'm WORKING ON IT NOW!! NOW!!!!

So please, if you could, excuse me. Me as a whole. Excuse everything.

ALRIGHT LET'S DIG INTO THIS!!!

So, like I mentioned just above the header for this section, I don't want to go too deep into this part, mostly because in my eyes the evidence speaks for itself (especially for the fight with Zoro) however I will go a little bit into some other parts that I find interesting.

EXHIBIT ONE!!! - 'Co-workers pressure you to eat mystery items? Hell yes!'

A bit unrelated, but I just wanted to say how I thought it was a bit funny how Kaku and Kalifa get peer pressured into eating their devil fruits, despite Kaku showing obvious disinterest, and can we talk about their reactions when handed the fruits??

You cannot convince me that they wanted to eat those. Kalifa is struggling. But of course, Lucci comes in with the "It'll be fun", so they just decided 'yep we're doing this i guess'. Was it really that fun, though? Everyone got their ass kicked two times over in the end, so did it really matter?

You poor souls.

Moral of the story, if someone tells you 'eat this thing I'm giving you because it will be fun' -- don't.

Exhibit TWO!!! - 'Crackhead Franky burns the blueprints'

These panels just make me feel some type of way. Of course, Kaku (as the other CP9 members are) is very upset that his five years of work just got burned up into dust in front of him, but it also means that it was ALL FOR NOTHING. Everything was for nothing.

Coming to Water 7, getting the job, liking the job, participating in your interest, making friends, having a good boss and then turning around and ruining it all for the sake of some papers (that you've already been faked out of once, mind you) that just disintegrated and basically never had any meaning in the first place, because 'how the hell are we getting those back, oh yeah, we can't', is what would be going through my mind.

I mean, karma is a bitch, but damn. Also -- are ellipses just Kaku's thing? I'm noticing a pattern here.

Exhibit TROIS! ahem.. Three. - 'Zoro's sword is moaning'

Now we'll get into the stuff with Zoro -- BUT ONLY QUICKLY BECAUSE I'M GETTING TO EGGHEAD, DAMMIT!!

When confronted by Zoro, Kaku stated that Zoro's 'Will you hand Robin's handcuff key over before I kill you?' was a foolish question, followed by another damn ellipsis! What is it with him and those??

Anyways, why is this a foolish question to him? Well, it could go both ways -- Kaku would kill Zoro before he could get the key, or Zoro would kill Kaku before he could give up the key. The first way was probably intended from Kaku's perspective... or was it? Kaku knows Zoro is strong, as he says literally in the same panel that he wished he could see what Zoro was capable of.

Based on Kaku's reaction to Zoro defeating him (which we'll get to in just a moment), I believe he was anticipating his own defeat by Zoro's hand.

Fighting Zoro was almost like a game to Kaku, as he said (during the lighter half of their fight) that this was fun, and the only way for the fun to stop was if Zoro beat him. This was fun for him to the very end of it. That's pretty sad, and I feel like Kaku was excited to have someone like Zoro fighting him, especially with them both being swordsman, as he seemed to really enjoy their fights.

Now for the finale!!

^^ This is right after Zoro informs Kaku that he's fired, rubbing salt into Kaku's many metaphorical and physical wounds. vv

Why did Zoro feel the need to say this? Did Zoro want Kaku to feel bad about what he did? Because usually, foes don't get the time to talk with the person that just beat their ass, because they get knocked out/killed before anything else happens. Did Zoro hit him just hard enough to delay him losing consciousness, just so he could rub it in (and so this would be Kaku's last thought before passing out) that Paulie was upset with him?

Why would Zoro do this? Kaku is an enemy, and at this point in time Zoro didn't know Kaku was going to willingly give him his key (as in he thought he was going to have to take it off Kaku after he was unconscious), so why the hell did he not just knock him out right then and there and get the key? Zoro is pressed for time, because he needs to bring that key to Robin -- so why do this?

Perhaps Zoro is aware that there is more to Kaku than just being a backstabbing government assassin, and that he could have possibly still had a conscience at that time so he just really wanted to rub it in his face that Paulie directly fired him -- because he knew it would hurt.

"You guys... are fired."

'Paulie said that? Oh... what a mess' Kaku says as if he wasn't expecting that? Excuse me, sir?

Sure, okay, maybe he hadn't had the time to think about Paulie and all them dudes with all the shit he'd been dealing with, but honestly, what was he expecting? That Paulie wouldn't say that?

Of course not. Those words just had a lot of weight coming from Paulie, let's be real here. He knew that he was fired. He knew this whole thing would end up with him being fired eventually, so why is he so sad at the fact that Paulie fired him?

This, along with the "assassins can never find other work" leads me to think he knows he's done for. He will be stuck as an assassin until he dies, and that's just how it's going to be. I'm wondering, was he expecting to die here?

I'm curious -- who was it that told him that assassins couldn't find other work? Who is 'they'? Was it you, Kaku? Is he telling himself that?

Or was it someone like Lucci, who wanted to drill into his head that this is what he was 'meant' to do, and there was no going back for him, as if he can't ever redeem himself (praying on this y'all, please Oda PLEASE), just because Lucci wants Kaku on his side to be his partner in crime. Stupid Lucci. I hate that guy.

The next picture will be a little more focused on Zoro's reaction to Kaku rather than Kaku himself.

Again, here we go with those damn ellipses. They are starting to paint a better picture of how complex this could actually get, though, so I won't dog on them anymore.

Let's actually talk about that for a second -- the Oxford Dictionary defines an ellipsis as "the omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues", and from a couple different sources ellipses in comics can be seen as "there is more to be said here, but you can figure it out because why not" or a character is thinking about something.

What is Zoro thinking about here? What's making him just stare at Kaku while he gets his key for him? Well, maybe Zoro wasn't expecting Kaku to just give him the key, so he's just... watching. Kaku is also laughing (at Zoro's zoo joke, for context), and if I was in his situation I very much wouldn't be, so that can be a bit confusing for Zoro as he might wonder why Kaku is being such a good sport.

This good sportsmanship displayed by Kaku could be giving Zoro a reason to believe in Kaku's complexity and ambiguity, along with Kaku giving him the key right before he passes out. Kaku really felt the need to give Zoro his key because he had earned it, yet Kaku wasn't killed to obtain it -- so this was Kaku's way of surrendering, and that is another reason why I think he was expecting this to be the end of the road.

Bonus to that:

Okay!! I'm done I'm done I'm done!!!!!!!!!!~ I talked a little more than I wanted to but that's okay because were onto EGGHEAD!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Part Three: Egghead

Reminder: MANGA Egghead -- ahead of the anime.

This part is going to be a bit unhinged because as I'm writing this Egghead JUST finished up (who's excited for Elbaf???? WOOP!!) and I have some STRONG feelings.

OK OK OK LET'S GET INTOOO ITTT!!

So Egghead starts and... and.. w-.. wait.

He's sitting on top of poor Sentomaru's battered body. This... this looks familiar.

Oh, that's why. That's weird. What a weird detail. Is this going to happen more in the future? Is this one of Kaku's weird things he does, just because?

Sidetracked, sorry. Anyway-

I'm going to start this off by saying that Lucci has definitely been getting on Kaku's nerves throughout the entirety of Egghead. Honestly, I understand. If I'd have to deal with stupid Lucci for as long as Kaku has I'd be pissed at him too.

It's okay, Kaku. You can kick his ass, I won't say anything.

But my point in bringing this up is that these little moments of Kaku being upset or annoyed with Lucci are building up to something much bigger. Kaku cannot catch a break, and in most of the scenes they're together in he's fed up with Lucci in some way.

Now let's talk about Kaku and Stussy.

He can say they aren't friends all he wants, but I beg to differ. We haven't necessarily seen a whole lot of CP0's interactions with each other outside of carrying out their missions, but there is an obvious connection between these two that I've grown fond of.

Kaku contemplating Stussy's 'Who do I live for?' is interesting -- he doesn't speak on this out loud, but clearly he's got something brewing in the ol' noggin.

This whole page is just wonderful. Also, I think that is the best face I have seen Kaku make. There's a lot to get into here.

So... I absolutely love that Stussy wanted to free Kaku, but what the hell does she mean by 'I know the first thing he'll do if he's released'?? Genuine question. I might have accidentally skimmed over something, because I'll admit I read egghead pretty fast (though I'm thinking about reading all of it a second time because there was just so much happening all at the same time that it got a little crazy) but I don't remember seeing anything else about what she thought Kaku was going to do.

Kaku was obviously not expecting Stussy to do this, as she was pretty much made their enemy because of her betrayal, but Edison's 'I'm sorry for making you betray that friendship' just makes me want to... like.. idk. Edison knew that Stussy and Kaku were good friends, which makes me think that Stussy has possibly talked about Kaku before to the Vegapunks?

I haven't really had a whole lot of time to think about this stuff so everything I say here I'm coming up with as I'm typing it -- it's more speculatory than the other sections.

I think Stussy asking to free Kaku is another case of rubbing salt into Kaku's wounds, albeit more indirect. Stussy cares about him, obviously, but I think what Edison said makes Kaku just do a reflection of his entire life.

Stussy betrayed Kaku, yet she still shows compassion for him because they were friends.

Kaku betrayed Paulie, but completely does the opposite of Stussy. He just completely cuts him off. Paulie and Kaku were friends. Stussy and Kaku are friends.

Despite being his 'enemy', Stussy wants the best for Kaku and tries to help him as best as she could.

This, I believe, makes Kaku do a 180. This situation with Stussy is what could have happened on Water 7 with Paulie, because if you guys remember, Paulie said he felt that Kaku and Lucci were still his friends, even after he'd witnessed CP9 beating up Iceberg.

That is why I think he looks so distressed after Edison apologizes for Stussy's betrayal to him, because he's betrayed his own friends multiple times now, and he's fully realized this isn't all that different from Water 7.

It sure does hurt to be the one betrayed, doesn't it? Now he knows how his buddies on Water 7 felt.

I also want to talk about Edison saying that Stussy's 'inner conflict is a calling card of humanity' (talking about having to choose between being on Kaku's side or being with the Vegapunks), and how Kaku has a little wobbly bubble with an ellipsis.

Has Kaku realized that having humanity might not be so bad? Cipher Pol agents, I'm assuming, aren't really supposed to have this concept of humanity, because they're supposed to be these almost superhuman monsters.

Or has he realized that he isn't like the other Cipher Pol agents, as he secretly does have a sense of humanity that he shoves down for the sake of being in CP0? If Lucci ever found out that Kaku really did have a sense of humanity he would probably deem him useless. However...

Lucci (for the first time ever, wow) shows compassion towards Kaku, being worried that Kaku would be killed in the midst of the chaos that was Egghead.

I always perceived Lucci to be the type to leave behind the wounded, as they weren't of use to him anymore, but he goes out of his way to ask Mars to spare Kaku, which was honestly very surprising. Maybe Lucci still has a speck of humanity in him. Perhaps there is hope.

You're seriously going to tell me that they aren't friends when they're both crying??

Also... do you know that one scene from Air Bud?? This scene between Kaku and Stussy reminded me of that the first time I read this chapter, lol.

Kaku is worried for Stussy's safety, as he knows that if Lucci finds her, he will kill her. And again with this -- what is Kaku going to do next?? I want to know, God dammit, JUST TELL ME!!

Is Kaku going to defy Lucci? Is he going to run away? TELL MEEEE!!

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!~~~

So Stussy is apparently dead, which, okay, when did that happen, and also, absolutely not, but why does Kaku look like he's seriously about to just unleash his rage on Lucci? Do it, please DO IT!! BEAT HIS ASS PLEASE. I HATE HIM SO. MUCH.

But the fact that he's resorted to talking in ellipses again with his face shaded, a huge frown and clenched fists is making me think that this is a breaking point for him. He's just so over Lucci and I would be too. Run, run for the hills Kaku!!!

Kaku's ellipsis bubble is also a teeny bit wobbly, and if you've ever read a comic you've probably noticed that the shape of the bubble pertains to the character's state, whether that be physical or mental, and their speech. But since he isn't talking, his wobbly bubble could mean (and I'm saying could because a lot of the bubbles in Egghead are misshapen, so take this with a grain of salt, this is just what I like to think) that his mental state is, well, not great.

So with a (presumably) dead friend, a long time of growing exasperation towards Lucci, and an already unstable mental state, I really hope Kaku can realize that a line has been crossed, so it's his turn to act.

So now, it's time for the conclusion.

Basically, I just want Kaku to be a good guy. He's so complex and I already like him so much as a character, and I would like him even more if he jumped to the other side. I feel that he's already halfway there. I hope that there might be some sort of redemption in store for Kaku and I will scream if it comes true. You might not think so, but I can dream!!

Anyways, that's my two cents! Or rather... my fifty cents.. or my dollar. That was a lot. Thanks so much for reading!

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 58 analyze // spoilers

takamatsu-sensei continues with her beautiful and delicate writing, respecting her characters so that they themselves come into their own at the right moments — extending even to the secondary characters.

when i first opened the chapter and saw kazakami, i confess i was a little surprise. on one hand, exploring more of his character was something i was waiting for so long. on the other, it surprises me how she chose such moment to explore him a little further, but now I understand why she did it.

while we see the ending of the summer trip and mitsumi opening up to her friends as a closure to a long storyline, we do have to keep in mind that it only opened another door, way more tricky to explore. to dive deep into that right away would give her little to no time to explore the other characters that englobes the narrative and makes it function. it’s such an intelligent way to keep the plot flowing and adding more details to it.

well anyways, i digress. let’s focus on kazakami for now:

i’ve seen a lot of people often calling him a little selfish or self centered before, since the little scenes we had with him, his posture were always nonchalant. for me, it always felt like something was off, something he was hiding. not that i was sure about it, it just felt like “hm…this comes from a place of defense”. giving up soccer and focusing on being the president, for exemple, gave me an impression of him trying to find a distraction and a way to keep boosting his curriculum. and now, with more information, i have my doubts.

for kazakami’s backstory, sensei uses a plot she’s been using for a while: the “show not tell”, where she explicit give us a little of said character as a way to keep us going — for shima, the scandal; yasaka, her bedroom; now for kazakami, it was dive. opening the chapter with him pretending to be the main character was a very smart idea. that instantly broke the image we had of him, as this serious, ironical guy, specially after how ch 57 ended. now, we clearly see he’s just a boy with his own story and interests.

that brings the reader closer to kazakami (specially since us, the readers, also love anime and such lol). and she keeps on “showing, not telling” when she choses to show how kazakami is on school first to later expose his life at home.

that wall he build, that nonchalant attitude, it’s all a result of strict parents. it’s not that kazakami doesn’t want to be a normal teenager with interests: he was raised with the mindset of productive rather than pleasure. he was repressed into this box and feels guilty to break from it — by doing that, he’s afraid to sound ungrateful and selfish; that’s why he just swallows his food and accept his fate. the next day, a little more gasoline is added to the fuel. kanechika is the exact opposite of him, the perfect description of “freedom”.

but he also is someone who’s fighting for his dreams, someone who have his parents approval, someone who never let go of his interests and still have a bright future ahead of him. it’s frustrating for kazakami. he had to let go of everything in order to have the same future of the the “authentic” guy who never let go of anything. it’s a slap on the face, specially when kanechika holds dear the same thing as him: dive. the contrast between both characters is amazing and

i’m glad sensei chose to explore both at the same time. yes, we do focus more on kazakami, but we know a little about kanechika’s future and we also know a little more of his personality (i mean, he ran after kazakami just to talk about anime. he is observant, he can see that there is something more there). it’s a balance between narratives to maintain the equilibrium and use kanechika’s kindness as a way to tell more of kazakami’s backstory. but this is a conversation we will only continue when the next chapter is out…

thank you for reading it!! i’m sooo excited with what sensei have in store for us and can’t wait to discuss more with you guys