#that storyline broke my heart so much

[maxescheibechlinichacheli]

[mitchmarner]

Me in theory: A weekly release of episodes is way better. The binge watching model is ruining the way we experience television.

Me when I actually have to wait another week for the next episode: What the fuck. What the fuck is this injustice. Where the fuck is the next episode of my program.

[thisghosts-obsessions-again]

I spent last night having a good half and hour debate with myself on how to handle THAT FREAKING ADAM SCENE in B3 and the possible avenues the whole relationship would take going forward. Did I had them kiss in the end??? hsjsjajanajajanajajan OFC I DID BUT AT WHAT COST???? PLEASE! PLEASE CAN WE HAVE A NEW RO JOIN IN IN B4??? I JUST WANT THE DETECTIVE TO BE HAPPY AND THE WHOLE ADAM ANGST ISN'T HEALTHY 😭 FELIX'S SALT AND PEPPER ANALOGY HIT TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT THEN AFTER THAT FREAKING ANGSTY CONVO A POV FROM ADAM???? 😭😭😭

[jointherebellion215]

Flowers

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x female!reader

Summary: You're living a perfectly content life on Geidi Prime with your husband. It's a shame your mind can't rest, sparked by glimpses of a life unknown. Loosely based on the song from Hadestown.

Word Count: 1.5k

TW: Dark!Feyd-Rautha, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, yandere!Feyd-Rautha, manipulation, gaslighting, like SO much gaslighting holy shit, descriptions of violence, abusive relationship, emotional abuse, isolation, tragedy, nonconsensual drug use, nonconsensual medical treatement, induced memory loss, amnesia, dubious consent, pregnancy, songfic, happy-but-not-really-happy ending, I know I said female!reader but there's virtually no pronoun usage or descriptive words in thisfor the reader besides titles so maybe GN!reader??

A/N: I'm blown away, almost 500 notes on His Kiss, the Riot? Holy shit, all of the thanks! Here it is, the final part! I'm ending it with the song that actually started this whole idea. Listening to Eva's interpretation of Eurydice singing Flowers gave me the most delicious, fucked-up bit of inspiration and this came out. I was clutching my own metaphorical pearls writing this cause damn, this gets dark. Like, way more than I thought I could write. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the end of this twisted tale. Thank you for reading! As always, I appreciate you taking the time to like, comment, and reblog.

Read Part One and Part Two

AO3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dune properties, characters, or storylines-- nor do I own anything related to Hadestown. The images used in this are not my own, and any similarities to stories or events other than what are directly referenced are strictly coincidence.

Lily white and poppy red

I trembled when he laid me out

“You won’t feel a thing,” he said, “when you go down”

Nothing gonna wake you now

Drops of blood. 

A wicked, black smile.

“You won’t feel a thing.” 

You wake up with a gasp. Your doctor had warned you about dreams like this. They weren’t real, just an aftereffect of your accident.

The medical staff for House Harkonnen had been gracious enough to inform you of your predicament. When your family had recently hosted the Harkonnens, you quickly met and fell deeply in love with the na-Baron Feyd-Rautha. Your love for each other was so intense that you had demanded to get married right away. Your father disapproved of the union, so he disowned you and banished you, demanding to never see you again.

On the journey back to Geidi Prime, a stray asteroid hit the ship and caused you to hit your head. Feyd had apparently worried for your life, which saddened you and warmed your heart. It was nice to know that someone truly cared for you. However, your mind wasn’t quite the same afterwards. Your life before Geidi Prime was completely unknown to you. Your memories were in a fragile state.

That was just a few months earlier. Unfortunately, your mind has not yet recovered your memories prior to the accident. You were diligently taking a specially brewed tea that would calm your mind so it wouldn’t fracture under the immense pressure to try and fix itself. When you asked how long it would take for you to recover, your heart cracked when they said that it may take the rest of your natural life.

While it broke your heart to hear of your father’s dismissal of your feelings, you believed that you were strong enough to carry on. Having no further ties to your home world made it better to settle in with your new family.

You are a Harkonnen now.

Now, your footsteps make the quietest of echoes as you traipse down the narrow corridor. Heads of nearby servants and slaves bow, and eyes snap to the floor as you pass by. You feel the barest of sympathies, for not being allowed the simplest of human connection with their na-Baronness. But it was paradise considering the consequences should anyone ever feel bold enough to try otherwise.

Your husband wouldn’t allow that.

Dreams are sweet, until they’re not

Men are kind, until they aren’t

Flowers bloom, until they rot and fall apart

“Can I not have a single friend on this planet?!”

You burst into your shared chambers, rage rushing through your veins. All you had wanted was to have lunch and tea with one of the few female palace advisors you had taken a liking to. Maybe share a laugh or a story. Make a connection outside of your new family. That was all ruined when Feyd barged in and gutted your companion, stomach-to-throat, while she sat in her chair.

You were sure that your shoes had trailed blood down the hallway, but your mind was focused elsewhere at the moment.

“What use would you have for friends? I am right here.” He closed in on you, grasping your arms and forcing you to look in his direction. “Am I not enough for you? Do I not give you everything you should ever desire?”

His hands tighten around your wrists, making you flinch. A stray tear falls from your eyes, guilt starts to overcome your anger.

“No, not at all, husband! You have given me everything I could have wished for and more,” You wrench your hands out of his grip and grasp his face. He showered you with gifts, never let you go hungry or thirsty and this is how you repay him? “I just… I didn’t think you would want to hear me talk about certain things. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.”

“I know you don’t, my darling.”

You take a deep breath as you feel the tension in the room start to settle.

“Your mind is already fragile from the accident… I just want to keep you safe.”

Safe. That was the key here. He takes step back and retrieves a small dagger from his belt.

Feyd holds it up, showing you the weapon. “Did you know that your friend had a blade dipped in poison strapped onto her person?”

You can feel the blood rushing from your face. No. You didn’t know.

“I-I didn’t see a knife on her. She couldn’t have-“

“She did.”

He drops the blade and leans in closer to you, forehead aligning with yours. “There are people out there who seek to harm you, who seek to harm me through you. I can never let that happen.”

You nod furiously. You couldn’t believe that you had been so stupid. 

Trust is unbelievably hard to come by in the Galactic Imperium. Your few months’ worth of memories can even attest to that. It seems that the only people you can truly rely on is family.

“I only want what’s best for you.”

You understand now.

Is anybody listening?

I open my mouth and nothing comes out

Another argument discussion had emerged from your telling of your latest dream. Your husband was convinced that you were entirely too exhausted to put any stock into what your subconscious was telling you, but you thought otherwise.

Fingers run through a patch of bright pinks, yellows, and blues—

“I swear to you, it felt so real! It was almost like a memory, like something I-,” A firm hand is placed on your shoulder as you give a slight stumble. Feyd puts a hand on your back, leading you to the edge of your bed, setting you on the bench that was placed against the footboard.

“Please, have some of your morning tea, my darling. You look a bit peaked.” You accepted the cup he gave you, settling down and taking a few sips of the warm, spiced drink. Your mind instantly calms, anxieties evaporating from your body like puffs of smoke. Never mind the memories that you had just… Floating.

Your husband is now on one knee in front of you, arms encasing your body, as his hands cup your face. He brings your eyes to meet his, seemingly searching. For what? You do not know.

“What were you saying about this dream of yours?” A pause reverberates throughout the room as your head tilts in confusion.

“My…?” You stutter, mouth opening to complete a thought that was no longer entirely there. “I can’t quite remember. What were we talking about?”

Your husband gives a smirk, analyzing your face once more before placing his hand on the dark fabric covering your swollen belly.

“Nothing of import. It seems that my heir is set on scrambling your thoughts.”

There seemed to be nothing in this world that brought more joy to Feyd-Rautha’s face than the sight of you and his unborn child. He’s more protective of you now than ever, having guards always posted near you, having you wear a shield during all public appearances. Not to mention, he was damn near insatiable in private. His hands and mouth are practically dragged away from you and your growing stomach every morning.

You give a chuckle. “I’d heard about pregnancy brain before, but never knew it to be this taxing! Perhaps I’ll take a walk later if I’m feeling up to it.”

Feyd gives your cheek a soft pat before rising to his feet, “Rest, my darling. I shall check in on the both of you later.” His hand rests next to yours, giving your belly a quick rub before he walks towards the door.

Your head goes to set on your pillow, the warmth from the tea running through your body. You must be really tired, since you fall asleep so quickly.

Quick enough to not hear the deadbolt lock clicking from the outside once the door is closed.

Flowers, I remember field of flowers

Soft beneath my heels

Walking in the sun, I remember someone

Someone by my side, turned his face to mine

The dreams start to encroach your mind while you are awake. You continue to follow your doctor’s instructions: take your daily tea, rest often, don’t overexert your body or your mind. But, ever persistent, they push through, finding parallels with your daily life to latch onto.

A hand, gently enlaced with yours, guides you through a meadow—

You husband’s hands lead you to stand with him by his uncle’s side, preparing for another ceremony.

A laugh, familiar and warm—

A chilling cackle of laughter reaches you in your viewing box, watching your husband gleefully slay another adversary in the arena.

Bright, yellow sunlight caressing your face and neck—

The black sun of Geidi Prime pulses in your periphery as you wave to a crowd below, your husband standing stoically next to you.

A kiss, given freely—

Feyd ravishes you in your chambers, lips melding together with yours.

My darling—

My love—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

My darling—

“Is everything alright, my darling?”

You blink, snapping back to the present. Pale, smooth skin and blue eyes, your husband extends his hand towards you. Safe. He gives you everything. You and your child will never struggle or suffer with him. You are safe with him. Aren’t you?

Blood splatters over a patch of bright pinks, yellows, and blues—

You give a bright smile.

If you ever walk this way

Come and find me lying in the bed I made

[liveontelevision]

Suffer Pt. 3

Suffer Part 3 is here! I'm planning on having at least two more parts, I was not expecting this to become a whole thing but :') I gotta see it through now lol

When I say I love slowburn fics, I mean it dammit.

Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation of the characters from Hazbin Hotel. I respect the canon storyline and characters, but this fic will stray from it a decent amount.

(This series is complete! All parts are listed on my master list and are linked below!)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

♡ ♡ ♡

Holding a small, sleeping Charlie close to your chest, you swayed her back and forth. Your eyes fluttered shut, as you danced around the familiar nursery, humming the same tune you've used to calm her down for years. She was asleep. Safe and oblivious to any of the chaos around her. You envied her. With one final spin, you let your eyes open. Your arms were empty. She was gone. The comfortable weight of her tiny figure instantly went away. You panicked, the room you were in was shifted into something unfamiliar and uneasy. A source of light finally drew your eyes. A distant doorframe provides light, casting the silhouette of a tall, curvy woman. Her eyes were glowing.

“L-Lillith?” There were sounds of a baby crying out and the intimidating figure became far away, ceasing any light and drowning you in a darkness that you've felt before. Long ago.

A heavy knocking at your door forced you awake. As you sat up you went to wipe the sleep from your eyes, only now noticing the tears streaming from your face. Just a dream… The knock was louder and quicker this time, forcing a response out of you. “Gimme a minute! Fuck -” You roll out of your bed, going to turn off the radio on your nightstand. Having the radio on throughout the night was something Alastor suggested, obviously, after you confided in him about having a series of nightmares. His show is broadcast while you sleep, and when it isn’t, the radio static actually acts as a soothing white noise. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it kept you from going insane in the least.

You finally approached the door, your body still wrapped in your large blanket that trailed across the floor. A cheerful, as always, Charlie stood at the door. She was quick to say good morning, but went straight to the point without letting you respond. She clearly practiced this.

“So! I know my dad's visit a few weeks ago was a liiittle… Tense? But - uh, I was wondering if you two talked yet..? By chance?” She spoke like she would be scolded for saying the wrong thing. You shook your head, still slowly blinking awake. 

“Well - okay! I was just asking because he.. keeps.. asking about you…” she held her phone out to you, letting you scroll through some of the messages he’s been sending her. You chuckle at first, he can't text for shit. But she was right. Ever since you blew him off that day, he's been asking Charlie how you've been and what you've been up to.

“I mean, I love my dad and it's awesome he's finally talking to me again, but - I don't know, if it's not too much to ask, could you maybe just.. talk to him?” Charlie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, and her words broke your heart a little. It's cruel of him to try and reach out to you that way, put Charlie through that distress, but maybe you could've handled your last encounter with more care.

How could you say no to her?

“Yeah, i’ll talk to him, Charlie. Don't worry.” A yawn interrupted your sentence, but you still sent her a reassuring smile as she finally relaxed her shoulders.

“That’s great! I’ll just give him your number!” She planned outloud, turning away to head down the hall.

“Charlie- “ You called out, “He loves you, you know that, right? Don’t forget that.” Charlie’s smile drooped for a second, then quickly picked back up. She nodded as she left your view.

With a yawn, your body still not registering that you were awake or what you had agreed to, you went to shut your door. It didn't click like it usually does, so you turned to see the blockage - Alastor. He'd stuck his foot in the door to prevent it from closing entirely.

“Good morning, my dear!” his voice was booming, as he threw his arms out in a dramatic flare, your door swinging open.

Nope, you were too tired for this.

“Fuck, Al, can't this wait ‘til I'm at least dressed?” You tossed your blanket aside, rummaging through your drawers to cover the little silky tank top and pajama shorts you had borrowed from Angel during your first nights at the hotel. Maybe it was your sleep depravity, or just the fact that Alastor has made it a habit to be extra kind to you since you arrived, but you didn't mind him seeing you in sleepwear. He had no ill intent, as far as you knew.

“Unfortunately, it cannot! I heard you're going on a little outing with the king! How exciting~” He hummed, sitting at the edge of your bed as you cover yourself with your sweater. You plop down next to him, still wiping your eyes. He reached out, swiping his thumb across the apple of your cheek. Looking down at his hand, swiping your tears across his fingers, he met your suddenly embarrassed gaze.

“Another rough night, dear?” You weren't sure how he knew that's what that was from, but you nodded anyway.

“Just another nightmare, it's fine. They're always about Charlie and - the mistakes I made when I was taking care of her.. I guess it still kind of bugs me.” He let out a pitied hum, as he stood to turn your radio back on. He tuned it to some old timey jazz music before resting his hands behind his back. You didn't know it could play music..

“Well, it seems that meeting with that royal menace may not be the wisest choice. Wouldn't you agree?” You looked down before letting a sigh slip from your tired lips.

“It's fine, I can handle myself. Besides, he keeps bugging Charlie and I - I feel like I owe her..”

you shake your head, standing to your feet and beckoning Alastor out of your room.

“It's fine! It's just a quick visit, I won't be gone long.” He took your hand give it a quick kiss, a reassuring smile on his face.

“Well, if he does anything to hurt you, love -” love? “- I'll be right there to help.” He emphasized the end of his sentence with a quick tap on your nose before leaving your room. The music faded back into static as soon as he left.

You heard stories about their fight, plus you could hear their aggressive duet from your room that day, but you believed him either way. You had no doubt he could swoop in and save the day if you needed it. You wondered why people seemed so wary around him. He was a perfect gentleman to you, even with all the warnings you've gotten from Husk and Vaggie.

He had you wrapped around his finger.

You didn't think you would stress about what to wear. You hadn't even made plans yet, but all of sudden, you worried about what he would think of your clothes if he saw you. Charlie sent you his number, so it was on you to reach out. You ignored it for now. You’d ignore it forever if it would keep these feelings from resurfacing. Finally deciding on an outfit, just a black turtleneck that left your arms bare and a skirt that hugged your curves in a lovely way. Even if it probably wasn't the easiest skirt to bend over in, you decided it would do.

A lot of your clothes were hand me downs or were lent to you by either Angel, Vaggie or Charlie. None of it was truly your size, but you had no problem adding in some extra panels or cutting things to your liking. The sweater you grabbed previously was actually gifted to you by Alastor. You had no idea why he would give it to you, a simply red cardigan with a soft knit, but it quickly became your favorite accessory. Pulling up the collar, you buried your nose into the knitting, taking a soft breath in. It always smelled of whiskey and honey, no matter how often you washed it.

You went through your day like normal, followed along with some exercises Charlie was running and taking a quick trip to Cannibal Town with Alastor, something you did every now and then. It started off with him accompanying you to the bakery, where you would occasionally lend a hand, then he would split off to spend the afternoon with Rosie. As time went on, he would ask you to join him.. It was intimidating at first, but Rosie was nothing but a sweetheart, you had no problem fitting in with the two.

when you returned to the hotel, you finally mustered the courage to call Lucifer. With a quick pep-talk to yourself, you held your breath before bringing the phone to your ear. He picked up immediately.

“Hell- Erm.. uhh.. Shit, how do I -” Did he realize he answered the call?

“Helloo? Lucifer here - speaking! Who-who’s this..?” He knew who it was. You assumed this was just him trying to be casual. He wasn't very good at it.

“Lucifer - It’s me.. can we talk?” You were gripping the end of your sleeve nervously with your free hand.

“Yes! Yes, of course! When are you free? We can.. figure something out, right?” You could hear him tripping over himself, kicking things around, and something that sounded like a squeaky-toy being stepped on? His excitement made you giggle. Even with pulling your phone away to try and prevent your laughter coming through, he was losing his mind on the other end of the call. It felt like a nostalgic punch to the gut. He didn't realize how much he missed your laughter until now.

“I guess i’m free whenever.. Charlie doesn't like doing exercises on the weekend, so -” A breeze hit your face, blowing all your hair past your shoulders. Looking to the source, a golden edged portal had opened right in the middle of the hallway. A fidgeting Lucifer was standing with his hands behind his back, a nervous but excited looking grin across his face. You looked down to your phone, seeing the call was still going, then spotted his phone sitting on a table behind him. You let out the smallest huff, before hanging up and tucking your phone away.

“Missed me?” He said suavly, wiggling his eyebrows at you. God, you did. You couldn't admit that though. Your anger, guilt and nerves overshadowed any joy that he may have brought under different circumstances.

“Yeah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” You rolled your eyes, beginning to step towards the portal. He reached his hand out to you, and he noticed you hesitating. “it’s uh- it’s a little bit of a drop if you step through the - um.. just.. wanted to -” you took his hand that he almost retracted, and carefully stepped over the border of the portal. You tried to keep your mind from noticing how your hand perfectly fit in his.

Static filled your core as you left the hotel, but before you could turn and see if Alastor was nearby, the portal had shut and the static ceased.

If he does anything to hurt you, I'll be right there.

Alastor's words rung through your head one last time. You finally met Lucifer eyes after literal decades.

“Um.. Tea?” Lucifer was fiddling with his ring again. Years ago, it was something you noticed he did whenever he was nervous. You nodded and watched as he conjured up everything needed to brew hot tea.

“What, you don't use any of the servants for that? Not even some angelic magic?” Small talk felt like it could make this moment less awkward. As he poured the already heated water into two teacups, he simply shook his head.

“Angelic power is great and all, but nothin’ beats fresh tea.” His smile was so sweet. You nervously balled up the sleeve of your sweater into your hand and brought it to your nose, breathing in the same sent that always seemed to calm you.

“And.. I- ahem.. I ended up finding other places for most of the staff after..” he said it quietly, unable to call attention to his missing spouse. Definitely a touchy subject for both of you. You finally looked around, realizing you recognized the tea room. It was small, but was walled in entirely with windows. It had a great view of the little garden that used to be brimming with difigured, yet beautiful, greenery. You took another look around the room, the nostalgia wearing off, taking in the dust and trash that was collected in the corners. The garden had died off as well. It wasn't completely unslightly, but the mess didn't make sense for a royal manor.

His words finally hit you.

“Found other places? What does that even mean?” You could feel your blood boil, watching him place the tea bags in each cup. You calmed for a moment, seeing that his hands were shaking.

“I just found places for them to work, is all. Sent the stylists to that Velvette girl in Pentagram City, some of the cooks went down to the Glutton Ring, ya know. Stuff like that. I wanted them to be taken care of.” He passed the cup to you, then pulled out one of the two chairs at the small table sitting in the center of the room.

“I just wanted to take care of them..since, I-I couldn't do that for you..” His voice was low, and when you attempted to look at his face he would sip from his cup or turn away. Don't be worried about him. He doesn’t deserve that.  It was all so long ago, it doesn't matter. Remember why you're here. 

“Good for them. Now, I'm here because you're bugging Charlie. Stop asking about me idiot, she's gonna think something’s wrong.” You placed your half empty cup down. He choked on his drink at your words, not realizing that you had seen the poorly written texts that he was sending to Charlie.

“And nothing is wrong. Right?” Lucifer scratched the back of his neck nervously, then opened his mouth as if to say something. He didn't. He simply nodded at first. 

“Y-Yup, right.. Everything's fine. l'll stop asking about you.” You went to stand, brushing the wrinkles from your skirt off as you did. That's that. You came here to get Lucifer to stop bugging Charlie and that's what you did. There's no other reason for you to  -

“Wait, please..!” His hand took a hold of yours, as he almost stumbled out of his chair to keep you from walking off. “I just want to say - “

“ - no you don't have to. It was a long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes, right?” You tried your best to keep your cool, but clearly it wasn't working. He winced at your words, releasing his hold on you.

“I have no excuse. I can't make it all go away, I still feel - “ he clasped his hand to his chest, struggling to figure out what he's trying to say.

“I'm sorry. I don't need you to forgive me, but please know, that I am sorry.” The room went silent, with your back towards him, the only thing you could hear was the beating of your own heart. Lucifer didn't know what to do, until the silence was broken by a pathetic little sniffle.

Dammit, not again. Don't let him get to you. Keep your walls up.

He quickly approaches you, his hands hovering over your shoulder, as if you’d shatter if he touched you.

“Nono, please, I -uhh.. I'll leave Charlie alone! I'll stop talking to you, I'll leave you alone if -”

With a quick turn, finally faced him. Letting out a breath you'd been holding in for far too long, you rush towards him with the intent to meet him with a long overdue embrace. The sudden leap left him staggering backwards, tripping over nothing and bringing both of you to the floor. “Don't you dare! H-How could you.. why would think that's what I want..?” Your words were muffled into his shoulder, since he had placed a hand over your head to protect you from the fall. Not even acknowledging that you were suddenly sitting on the floor between his legs, he finally managed to process your words. It took him a moment to even try and reciprocate the hug. He hadn’t been touched like this for years, it nearly overwhelmed his senses.

“ I want to know what happened that night! I want to know how you feel, or I guess felt, about me.. I dont care if it hurts, please tell me the truth..” all of the questions you've been asking yourself for years suddenly spilled out.

You felt absolutely pathetic, relying on him to tell you everything okay. But fuck, you needed this. Even if you never talk to him again after this, you needed some kind of closure.

“Woah- that's uh.. that's alot to drop on guy.. Uhm…” It wasn't like he didn't want to admit what he was feeling. With the relationship he had with Lillith, he had just become accustomed to not talking about himself much. That being said, with one look Into your teary eyes, he was all yours. He carefully took your hands from around his waist and held them in his own. He gently traced his thumbs along the top of your hands, letting you calm down before he went on.

“I.. I think about you all the time, I always have. I don't know what I would've done differently that night, but I'd do anything to take it back. To fix it..” The sweet smile on his face barely made his words sound better.

“I don't understand, Lucifer.” Your voice was quiet, and cracked a bit when his name passed your lips. You saw him jolt slightly, hearing his own name through your sweet, yet saddened voice.

“Well, I guess..Li-Lillith and I-” You both winced at the mention of her name. “- we weren't what everyone expected of us. And you were one of the only demons to know that. She- ugh.. I don’t know she left without a word, without a note - I have no idea where she went.” You felt like you were getting let in on a secret that he had been keeping for years. And maybe that's exactly what was happening. Your face went pale, your head swaying slightly, Lucifer took a hold of your arms and helped you stand, guided you back to your seat.

“It's not because of me, is it?” You said quietly, as if Lillith was just around the corner, ready to scold the two of you. Again.

“No! No, geez, if it has anything to do with you, then I'm to blame. Don't worry.” He still smiled at you, his face becoming strained after grinning for so long, then placed a hand over yours.

“Don't worry? Yeah! That shouldn't be too hard.. you idiot.” You rolled your eyes, but didn't pull away at his touch.

“I'll get straight to the point then, if you think I'm such a clown -” you couldn't help but grin at his self deprecating humor, and he's so relieved to see your smile.

“With you being in Charlie's life again, I'd like to.. I don't know, clear the air? Try and patch things up..?” You went to deject the idea, but he went on before you could.

“I know it won't be easy, and it's okay if it doesn't work out. But we all used to have so much fun together.. I think right now, it could be good for Charlie, and me, to have someone like you around.. I want you back in my life.” His little spiel seemed scripted up until that last part. Your heart throbbed. You were known to always decline help from people, avoid handouts, but the rush you felt hearing Lucifer say he needs you, you were almost swooning.

“Besides, we've both grown up! Moved on-  Right? I have all of Hell to keep an eye on, and you've got your little boyfriend back at the hotel so -” You wasted no time in correcting him. The idea of him thinking you had moved on with another demon made you panic for some reason you would never admit to. Why did he think you had a boyfriend? Who would - 

“Al?? Oh no, it's not like that, I swear. He's just been a good friend to me since I went to the hotel, is all.” 

“Al, huh?” He grumbled, leaning back in his seat ans crossing his arms over his chest. The warmth he left on your hand was immediately missed.

“Alastor, you know. The.. um.. You met him.” You held the sleeve of your sweater to your nose again, allowing the sweet air into your lungs. Fuck, he couldnt take his eyes off of you. He never wanted to take his eyes off of you, again. You just looked so pure in your little sweater.

But, that sweater.. something seemed off about it to Lucifer. He could feel some strange energy emitting off of it. It didn't come off as dangerous, but it definitely left him feeling uneasy. Like a headache that's just barely there, suffocating his thoughts. He's felt that before. It clouded his actions and judgements during his fight with-

“Hey, uh.. Be careful around that deer guy, will you? He seems pretty intimidating. Not to me, of course, but you know. Just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” You leaned forward, with your elbows on the table, propping your chin up. “Are you jealous?”

“Wha-What?? Of course not, I'm the king of Hell, I obviously trump him in every aspect.” There it was. There was that cocky, little bundle of nerves you used to know all those years ago. Everything finally hit you with the lost time, seeing that side of him.

“Lucifer, I missed so much. I wanted to be there for her, for Charlie.. I know I was just a babysitter, but there was so much more I wanted to do, so many things I wish I could've seen with her. With you, too.” You placed your hand overtop of his, just as he did to you earlier. He obviously wasn't expecting the reciprocation, flinching slightly at your touch.

“I guess I get what you're saying.. about taking that day back? That maybe if I didnt attack you the way I did, that I could be there longer. But… I was in love, Lucifer.” He stifled any giggles at the idea that you considered that kiss an attack, but nothing mattered after what you had said. He immediately flushed in the face at your words.

“In love..?” He barely whispered the words, his eyes sparkling. He felt a stabbing sensation in his chest, a familiar one, but still one that he hadn't felt in years.

“Yeah.. hm, it would've happened sooner or later, I think. I think I would've done it at some later point, if it didnt happen then.. I guess I'm just glad I left before Charlie could remember me. It all worked out, so - I guess what i’m saying is - we can try. Let's try being friends, again.”

What a bittersweet resolution.

��Okay. I'd like that.” He was fighting off any unwanted feelings. Burying any ideas to just profess that he felt the same way, and that he still does. That he wants to pick back up right where you left off. That he barely kept the longing, of feeling your lips against his, at bay. No matter how hard that was, things were looking up. Don’t blow it, Lucifer.

You chatted for a little while longer. You told him about your struggles after you were fired, all your interactions in Cannibal Town, the good and bad, then your eventual arrival at the hotel. The conversation lightened a bit, as you told stories about Charlie, giving him a much needed update on how she was doing when she wasn't stressing about a visit from him. You went on, talking about the other residents that he didnt have a chance to interact with last time. Obviously, that part of the conversation went into heavy detail about Alastor and all his little gifts and kindness.

Before you noticed, Lucifer held the edges of his chair, his hands gripping tightly into the metal at every little sigh or giggle you'd make in reference to something Alastor did. He'd dismiss it as jealousy for now. But that didn't stop him from rerunning that one moment in his mind. The moment where he was holding you. Touching the small of your back, just like how he used to.

The way you stood so close to him, that he could wrap his slender arm completely around your waist, and the confidence in your dismissal of Luficer's general presence. It was commendable, no matter the subject, he loved seeing your more confident side. Your words still hurt. The topic eventually came up.

“Oh god, Lucifer! I'm so sorry, I almost forgot about that.. I didnt mean anything, that was completely rude of me to treat you like that. I felt something come over me, seeing your face again, I just - I don't know, it was probably just some repressed rage? I'm sorry.” He quickly waved his hands, offering you reassurance in your actions, admitting that he felt he deserved it after everything.

“Don't say that, I was out of line. What you did to me doesn't excuse my actions.” You admitted. Was forgiveness possible in this situation? He had pushed the possibility so far down in his mind that a mutual respect seemed like an unachievable goal. And any reciprocated feelings were merely a dream.

This felt like a dream.

You asked how he was. He didn't hear that question often, so he didn't really answer with fun stories or anything exciting. His mind went into autopilot after you left. And after Lillith left, a lot of memories seemed suppressed. You asked about Charlie. He was worried you'd do that.

“Well- She uh.. went through her whole teenage phase, you know, goth makeup, boyfriends, a bunch of stuff she grew out of. She spent more time with.. her m-mother, though.. as she got older. But hey! Here she is now, doing the whole hotel thing, I'm very proud of her.” He nodded, clearly ready to move off the topic. But you weren’t.

“She looked up to you, you know. A lot. Oh man, she would cry for you all the time, constantly try to get into your workshop - as cute as it was, I wasn't ready to chase her down all the time. And i’d say she still looks up to you, Lucifer. You inspired her, I can tell.” You swayed the backwash of your tea in your cup, the pot was emptied long ago. Looking up, you see a trembling smile then watch him exhale a shaky sigh.

“Thank you.” He said softly. You couldn't stop yourself from leaning towards him a bit, after placing your cup down with a small clink.

Stop, Don't do this again.

Things might be different this time, but it can only go wrong in some other way, you were sure of it. Still, he leaned in as well. As you got closer, ready to shut your eyes to the reality and just let your fantasies take over, he reeled back, cover his nose and mouth with his hand. You jumped back, clearly embarrassed. He wouldnt call attention to it, leaving you to wonder what went wrong, but the scent from the sweater. It was disgusting to him.

“O-Okay, good catch up. I should get going, I - umm.. I promised Charlie I'd help her with something, so..” That was a lie. But if you spent another moment in that room with him alone, you'd have no control over what happened next.

“Oh.. right. Here -” He rose from his chair and opened the portal back up, leading to the same hallway you were in before. Turning back to him as he approached you, neither of you really said goodbye. Neither of you wanted to say goodbye. After an awkward exchange of trying to figure out if this should end with a handshake, a wave, a kiss - nope not that one. a kiss would be too much. But a hug?

Lucifer carefully placed his arms around you, encasing you close to his chest. He could feel your heart rate increase. The scent of your cardigan you wore overwhelmed him, but he refused to let go after feeling your arms lay comfortably around the back of his waist.

Good lord, this man hadn't gotten any in centuries. it took all of his strength to not trail his hands underneath that damned sweater and pull it off of you, feeling his way up your torso, sliding just the clawed tips of his fingers under your shirt until you - 

“Lucifer?” Your words were mumbled, your face pressed against his chest after he had tightened his grip.

“Hoof- sorry.” He quickly pulled away. You immediately missed the touch, but it was definitely for the best. For both of you.

“Well, Thanks for coming by.. you have my number..? Right! Call me whenever you want, I'm not busy-” Sure. The king of Hell wasn't busy. He just didn't want to admit that he’d drop anything he was doing if it meant hearing your voice. You nodded your head, taking a firm grip on his hand as you stepped carefully out of the portal and back into the hotel.

“I'll see you, Lucifer.” You said sweetly, he visibly melted at your words.

“I hope so.” With a quick wave, the portal cinched shut.

---

Alastor stood in the hallway, right where the portal had closed, greeting you with a stretched smile.

“Darling! How was your little visit? I wasn't expecting him to sweep you off your feet so soon, I hope it went well.” He approached you, tapping his microphone to the ground and leaning into you.

“You never called for me, I’m hoping he didn’t hurt you. Again.” His voice crackled and a high pitch ring made you cover your ears for a moment.

“No, Alastor, it was good! We're gonna try and work things out, see if we can be friends again. I think it went the best it could, if you ask me.” You hummed with a sense of confidence, strolling dwon the hall with Alastor following beside you. You didn't notice his eye twitch and his ears folding back at the mention of his full name. He was losing you.

“Just be careful, dear! We don’t want you to make any mistakes again, do we?” He had no idea what he was talking about. Right? You hadn’t told him anything.

“Well, it’s about time I run some of my errands. Let me know if I can be of service to you.” A signature greeting for you at this point, Alastor reaches for your hand and presses another kiss across your knuckles. He looks up at you the way he usually does, but he let his lips linger for just a moment longer. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he tilted your hand to place his nose against the sleeve of your gifted sweater, inhaling the scent and exhaling with a hum.

“R-right, I will. Thanks.” You pulled away from his grasp, his eyes suddenly shooting open. You pulled away from him. That hasn't happened before. He wasn't nervous, exactly. But he did disappear into his shadow, which darted down the hall in the blink of an eye, leaving you with nothing but innocent curiosity.

♡ ♡ ♡

To be continued! Stay Tuned ;)

!Taglist!

( @vififofum @thornwolfy235 @tinywolfiegirl @chipper-chip @bat-boness @misfitgirlwrites @nayomi247 @lonelymisunderstood @escapistoftherealworld @b4ts1e @hamthepan @kyo-kyo1 @looking1016 @polytheatrix @littledolly2345 @lillianastuff @yourlocalcryptidbee @0strawberrysorbet0 @themageofblood @jayyyayaysblog @floralsightings @azmosposts @8har0ley8 @actuallyspiderwoman @sirenetheblogger @christineblood @kaytemchugh @cimadreamer @simpdevil66 @azmosposts @m3ow1 @acrazyartist @redfoxwritesstuff @4k1to @meesachan @corvusskid )

[miley1442111]

regrets- s.reid

--------------------------

--------------------------

summary: spencer comes back from prison and your grief and his cause the collapse of your world.

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader

warnings: suicide mentions, death, fighting, break-up, breif spencer in prison mentions (nothing about the storyline though dw)

--------------------------

Spencer had always been skinny. He’d always been last picked for sports, and at the beginning of your relationship, he was nervous to be naked in front of you.

Were you two still even in a relationship? 

He’d been in prison, then he was out and saving his mom. Now he’s home. 

And you’re not. 

The first thing to do in his mind is to shower. He wanted to wash the last few days off of him. He hadn’t been in a comfortable place in a long time, so the shower seemed different, the products you used to use were gone, replaced by others. Did you even live here anymore? 

Getting naked was too difficult, every time he saw what he’d become, he felt the uncontrollable urge to vomit and not stop until he passed out. He sat in the bathroom for a long time, he wasn’t even sure how long. 

The front door opened. Your voice to someone over the phone, a rustling of bags and a sigh once the call was over. 

He had so many questions. Why hadn’t you been there? Where were you? You sent him letter after letter (ones he couldn’t bring himself to respond to) about not being able to wait to see him, about missing him, chewing him out for not letting you come see him. 

So where had you been?

“Fuck this fucking funeral,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked through your kitchen. “Fuck my life.”

You grabbed a cup of water as you felt the familiar sting of tears in the back of your throat. Spencer listened close to the bathroom door as you slowly broke down. It started as just a single sob. Then it progressed until you were fully crying on your kitchen floor and dialling someone’s number. 

“Y/n?” Penelope’s voice said from the other side of the line. 

“Hey,” you sighed. “I’m so sorry that you couldn’t reach me for the past few days, I was back in Vermont and I had no cell service. Anyways, any news on Spencer? I know that Diana got moved to a facility, any news from him? Did Luke or Jj visit?”

Spencer’s heart broke as he listened to you put everything aside just to ask about him. 

“Babe… Spencer got out three days ago,” she admitted.

Another stab to your already bleeding heart. Spencer watched as your face broke from the crack in the bathroom door. 

“Oh,” your voice broke. “Good.”

There was a long silence. 

“Do you know where he is?” You asked, ashamed that you had to ask someone else for the whereabouts of your fiancé.  

“I’m not sure, I’m so sorry girl-” Penelope’s comforting voice was cut off by you hanging up. The sobbing started again and Spencer just couldn’t take it anymore. He opened the bathroom door and revealed himself, tears in his own eyes. You scrambled up to your feet and approached him cautiously. 

“Hi,” he said, just above a whisper. 

“Hey,” you said, lip quivering. 

“What happened in Vermont?” He asked.

Your eyes dropped to the floor and he saw some tears fall. “My little sister killed herself.”

Spencer wanted nothing more than to grab you and hold you, but a voice in the back of his head told him that you’d reject him and call him disgusting. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” you shook your head. “I should’ve been here.”

“You didn’t-”

“I missed you so much Spencer,” you sighed, a watery smile on your lips. “Why didn’t you respond to my letters?” 

Spencer felt a weight on his chest tighten. “I-I couldn’t.” 

“You responded to everyone else's.”

“You’re different-”

“I’m expendable. I’m just here, all the fucking time, aren’t I? Do you even want to get married?” You demanded. 

Spencer brought a hand up to your cheek and wiped away a single tear. “I would marry you right now.”

You closed your eyes, pushing his hand away. “I’m sorry,” you cried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

--------------------------

Spencer was quiet and allowed you your space, but still stayed close enough to be around. The following weeks were full of ups and downs, one of which ended with you sleeping on the couch. 

He’d said something stupid about you not trying hard enough with taking care of yourself, like he had any weight in that conversation. He couldn’t even look at himself. 

He didn't take kindly to that comment.

--------------------------

“You think it’s easy for me?” He asked. “I was in prison for-”

“You think that was easy for me? I was alone-”

“I never asked to be put in prison!” He shouted. 

“I never asked for my sister to kill herself!” You screamed. 

There was silence for a moment. 

“I’m done with you,” Spencer snapped. “We’re done.”

And your heart broke for a second time. 

--------------------------

“What happened?” Penelope asked, opening her door to you.

“We broke up,” you shrugged. “I need somewhere to stay until I can get an apartment.”

--------------------------

Penelope watched in horror as you went about your days as normal for the next three weeks. Acting as if nothing had even happened.  

Something had happened. Your life had changed in two major ways. You weren’t a fiancé anymore. You weren’t a sister anymore. You were nothing. At least, that’s what it felt like. 

And nothings aren’t FBI agents. 

--------------------------

You sat in Emily’s office with a sullen look on your face. Her’s had drained of all colour when you handed in your gun and resigned. 

“You’re serious?” she asked. 

“Deadly.” 

“You’re happy?” she asked again, meeting your eyes. 

“No.” 

She nodded, understanding your issues and pulled you in for a motherly hug. “We’ll miss you a lot.”

“Don’t be a stranger,” you sighed, lying to both of you. The phone would not be working both ways. She’d call and leave voice notes, and you’d listen to them but never reply. But it would be enough for the both of you. 

“You’d never be a stranger to me,” she smiled sadly. Emily had been like a sister since the beginning. She’d always looked out for you. She’d always been there for you. “I’d suggest cleaning out your desk before Reid comes in next week,” she nodded, wiping her tears. 

“It’s done.” 

Emily nodded, then smiled at you. “You’re going to do something so special.” 

“Thank you,’ you whispered, your emotions getting the better of you. 

--------------------------

“Where’s Y/n?” Spencer asked, sitting at the roundtable. “Her desk is empty.”

“She left last week, Spence,” Jj admitted. “We thought she’d told you?” 

“What? No, she didn’t tell me?” 

“She’s your fiancé Spencer, she obviously had to tell you.”

Penelope and Emily made brief eye-contact. Spencer looked down. 

“We broke up.” 

Jj’s jaw dropped, Luke’s jaw dropped. 

“She’s gone,” Emily sighed. “Sorry Spencer.”

--------------------------

Spencer’s world was in black and white. You were gone. You’d left. His love was gone. 

How would he survive?

--------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)

[ppersonalsspace]

The thing about season 8 is that they were clearly trying to make Destiel happen. There is no other way to take in the events of that ENTIRE season without going- oh yeah Dean is queer and also pining for the angel. The CW clearly did not like that and shot that storyline down, but COME ON…

- Dean spent a year in Purgatory by CHOICE bc he wouldn’t leave Cas

- love triangles! Dean/Benny/Cas vs Sam/Amelia/her husband

- Benny saved Dean in Purgatory vs Amelia saved Sam from his grief/hunting

- Dean being a huge dick about Amelia, Sam being a huge dick about Benny

- Salmon Dean both going through a “break-up” in Larp after they chose to stick together rather than keep Amelia/Benny in their lives

- Literally every conversation between Dean and Benny is so sexually charged it’s stupid.

- Benny was down bad for Dean… he DIED for him when he knew he couldn’t be a part of Dean’s life topside.

- Dean was so fucked up at the thought Cas would CHOOSE to stay behind his brain altered his memory. No magic here, folks. Just a desperate broken heart.

- After Cas ditched him, again, Dean was so eager to do the trials so he could die for the cause. Cas left him so he wanted to DIE. Girl, get a grip.

- He was so fucked up in fact, he turned down a one-night stand with one of the coolest and hottest women they’ve met. He really tried to say “i want to just nows not a good time” and she said “no you really dont” translation GAY.

- and then after that 1st trial Dean praying to, I’m sorry, “begging” Cas to come back.

- Then the crypt! WHAT THE FUCK.

- You are telling me we were supposed to watch brainwashed Cas kill hindreds of DEANS and accept it was a hetero connection

- BI LIGHTING

- “What broke the connection?” genuinely shut the fuck up

I could obviously go on, but my hand is tired of typing on my phone.

Oh- side note- it was only a few months after S8 finished airing that Misha tweeted “youre not crazy” so… I mean I AM. But. It was there. Textually. And they gaslit us into thinking it was subtext or fan fetishization so much that we have been feral posting for years and years, defending what we saw happening on our screens.

I hate Supernatural. It’s my favorite show.

[lilisgardensblog]

Stream theory! time:

I am here to write my thoughts about the Neuvillette part of the stream/trailer, feel free to share yours too!

"The Melusines can't be trusted! That goes for Neuvillette too!"

So, first I have to say I'm heartbroken to hear that the Melusines and Neuvillette can't be trusted, but idc idc i trust them no matter what. And the Melusines saying: "I'm confident that we'll find the meaning of our existence one day" truly broke my heart.

To keep going with the Neuvillette angst we have The Chief of Justice himself saying: "I find it difficult to express my emotions, because I cannot fully understand myself" The struggle to deal with accusations from your own people that they don't trust you while being unable to show them how you really feel... and to add to that whatever rumours saying that u were born from calamity?? I'm so confused and sooo hyped to get the full lore.

'is this what justice means to u? answer me neuvillette!'

First, let me point out THE VOICE ACTING FOR THIS LINE IS CHEF KISS. It sends shivers down my spine every time I hear it. And every time I hear it I'm thinking, what verdict did Neuvillette come to for Wrio to deliver such a powerful line? Maybe it's about Lyney and Lynette? Because we hear Freminet asking Wrio about his siblings and I'm thinking that maybe Wrio goes and demands an explanation from Neuvillette?

"You will see much in the human world, from the delightful to the depressing and one day, when you have dwelt among humanity long enough, you will be placed to bring judgement over all, as the spokesperson for Fontaine's past"

Can't move on from this line without pointing out the informal addressing here. No Monsieur or anything. Straight up Neuvillette. I'm curious to see how close the characters are and why does Wrio sounds so hurt/betrayed.

edit: a lot of people told me the voice line is from an npc but im too tired to delete everything👍

THIS??? raised so many questions in my head it's crazy. it's unnecessary. The hold this last line has on me is absurd. I think it's directly addressed to Neuvillette and I'm curious why is he the one bringing judgement over all? why is he the one shown all alone in a grey and dull Fontaine?why not Furina? What does "spokesperson for Fontaine's past" suppose to mean??Like we already speculated about him being the Hydro Dragon, but this is *sniff* i smell GREAT storyline.

Genshin is about to drop heeeeavy lore and I'm here for it.

"its unnecessary to hold me in such high regard"

Last line in the trailer. Neuvillette said this right after being shown as one of the most powerful people in the whole nation really. He is either really modest or just tries to hide the fact that he's the most powerful in the nation. Or both. Honestly I'm not even sure of what to say about this, I just had to add it here because Neuvillette said it and I'm in whoo for him.

Him🤝Zhongli , fancy talking and acting like they don't have supreme power.

Last thought: this trailer was so powerful and sad over all. I'm expecting the archon quest to be an emotional rollercoaster with one or two emotional punches. I just know Neuvillette story will make me sob. Just look at him.

p.s. : I saw someone pointing out that the creators said that Neuvillette made a law so that the Melusines to be addressed as she/her and that fills my heart with joy. Neuvillette is shown to be oh so powerful and 'born from calamity' or whatever and yet he's one of the sweetest and kindest characters. 🫶🏼

Conclusion: i love neuvillette and idc about false accusations 😊🫶🏼

[jikookuntold]

What Is Like Crazy About?

Since the day "Like Crazy" was released, I wanted to post about it, but couldn't get the time to focus and do a comprehensive analysis. Finally, right before the first anniversary of this masterpiece, I got the time, and the post is ready now. Before starting off, I have to remind you of the fact that a work of art can be interpreted in many different ways, and none of those interpretations are necessarily right or wrong. Every work of art contains a message that is the artist’s main intention from that creation, but the artist doesn’t have to explain it to the audience because a true work of art speaks for itself, even though not all audiences can receive it thoroughly.

I know that in the past year, so many different types of analyses and theories were made by fans to explain this song, and most definitely, I couldn’t keep up with all of them. Therefore, I’m not claiming my analysis to be a breakthrough, and you might have read most parts of it somewhere else. In this post, we are going to discuss “Like Crazy” from a lyrical and conceptual point of view, trying to find out what message or messages Jimin wanted to convey by creating it.

About “Like Crazy”

“Like Crazy” as the title track for Jimin's first solo album, "FACE", stole the hearts of millions of fans and locals around the world, and inarguably became one of the most successful pop songs of the year 2023. I can talk for hours about how beautiful and successful “Like Crazy” is, and how it broke KPop boundaries and countless records. But, in this post, we are going to break to the surface and talk about the meanings and motivations behind this song and answer the questions like “How this song was made?” “What was Jimin's intention in writing these romantic lyrics?”

As I mentioned earlier, artists usually don’t directly address their main message and their intention in creating a form of art, but many of them speak about the motivations and inspirations that led them to the creation. Jimin hasn’t talked much about the sources of inspiration behind individual tracks of “FACE”, but I guess “Like Crazy” was an exception for him because he revealed on several occasions that he was inspired by “Like Crazy”, the movie. And this piece of information is the key to our analysis:

"I tried to express the feelings of that movie. You know, the somewhat complex, somewhat lonely, somewhat happy emotions. I tried to express all these ambiguous and subtle emotions in a slightly sexy way, but I’m not sure how it’ll end up being received by people.”

Like Crazy, The Movie

First of all, we need to keep in mind that “Like Crazy” is a completely original song, and Jimin has not used or sampled any songs, lines, or dialogues from the movie in his lyrical or visual concepts (even the intro and outro dialogues in the song were original and not from the movie). If Jimin had not stated his source of inspiration directly, the only hint that could have led us to it would be the title of the song, which duplicates the title of the movie since the title never appears in the lyrics.

So, Jimin chose this specific name for his song and announced his source of inspiration to make it clear that there is a straight and strong connection between the song and the movie. He made it clear that this connection is 100% conceptual and emotional, and if we want to know what “Like Crazy” is about, and what ambiguous and subtle feelings Jimin is talking about, we have to redirect the analysis to the concept of the movie, “Like Crazy”.

As we all know, “Like Crazy” is a romantic movie, and Drake Doremus directed it casting "Felicity Jones" and the late "Anton Yelchin" as the main characters, Anna and Jacob. Doremus based the storyline of this low-budget movie on his experience being in a long-distance relationship with his partner and developed it into a 90-minute-long movie, which was released in 2011 and became relatively successful.

Anna and Jacob

A few days before the release of “FACE”, I was informed that the title track, “Like Crazy” is based on a movie of the same name. After learning this fact, I had to re-watch it because I couldn’t remember anything after a decade, and I had some questions like: “What was in this movie that made it so special for Jimin?” “How would Jimin feel watching this?”. Having this mindset helped me to see the movie differently, but before explaining those new insights we need a short storyline of the movie:

Anna is a British exchange student in LA, where she falls in love with Jacob, an American student, and they start dating. Anna, blinded by her love for Jacob, overstays her student visa and consequently gets banned from re-entering the United States. After experiencing a forced LDR, Jacob flies to London to visit Anna, and her father suggests that getting married might resolve the issue, but they are not ready for this big step. Jacob goes back to LA and basically chooses his job over Anna, but after some time, they realize that they can’t be apart, and they decide to get married. Six months after the marriage, when the time for the appeal of Anna’s ban comes, it gets rejected, and they lose their last hope of being together. Again, they go back to their sad lives, but after some time, Anna is finally offered a visa, and she leaves everything behind to reunite with Jacob. The ending scene shows how this separation has damaged their relationship, and things will never be the same.

The movie portrays the hardships of a long-distance relationship and the damage the separation can do to two souls and their connection. I think the recent movie by "Celine Song" named "Past Lives" was partially similar to like crazy, but also there was a big difference; unlike Nora and Haesung in “Past Lives”, Anna and Jacob don’t leave it to fate, they don’t forget about each other and don’t settle down with others just because their love seemed difficult or impossible.

They found true happiness only next to each other and did everything against all odds (especially Anna) to take that back. Maybe if Anna and Jacob weren’t in love like crazy and were more mature and realistic, they would end up like Nora and Haesung (Sorry if this spoiled that movie for you), but they didn’t and made their own bittersweet ending.

Many people claim that “Like Crazy” is a breakup movie with a sad ending, therefore, Jimin’s song also must be a breakup song. But, first of all, the ending can somehow be considered an open ending. We don’t know what happens after the shower scene, but we see them together, in each other’s arms, and this is not a totally sad ending by any movie standards. Other than that, Anna and Jacob became separated a few times, but they don't officially break up by choice, their separation is the result of contractual rules and laws, made by society.

This movie, as its director explained, might be originally about a long-distance relationship, but also the main relationship in this movie can be seen as a relationship that gets strained by laws and regulations, it’s about the rules and imaginary borders that decide if two people can be together or ban them from it. It’s a story of the “love against law”.

A Heterosexual Love Story?

When “Like Crazy” was released in theatres back in 2011, it got positive reviews for good acting that made the movie feel sweet and intimate with mostly improvised dialogues. Meanwhile, the negative reviews were focused on the plotline of this drama, calling it far from reality. Other than the fact that Jacob could have easily resolved this issue by taking his job from LA to London, in reality, the couple wouldn’t have faced this much difficulty over the legal complications, especially after getting married.

The fact is, straight couples usually never face this kind of hardship, and governments take that easy on them otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many sham marriages around the world just to get citizenship. So, the idea of a couple getting separated by law is not common, and that’s why many people called this movie implausible. But, a queer person can familiarly receive this implausibility, like when they want to be with someone forever, but the laws don’t let them.

Could it be this feeling that made “Like Crazy” special and a source of inspiration for Jimin? Or was it something smaller like the Santa Monica beach scene? I have no answer, I only make theories, and I think it’s better to leave the movie here and start the lyrical interpretation to see how these words and feelings can get connected.

The Lyrics

[Intro]

(I think we could last forever (I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

As I said earlier, this intro is not a dialogue from the movie, but the narrators were told to do it based on the audio from the movie that was sent to them. So, hypothetically, it’s Anna and Jacob having this conversation. He is afraid of losing everything, but Anna assures him that if he trusts her, they can last forever. In the MV, we see Jimin standing in the crowd, but the time goes in reverse, and through a transition into his eyes, we see him sitting alone. Weirdly, the outro of the song is playing in the background here, but we will figure out the reason later.

[Verse 1]

Korean Version, Translated

She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, it's fine if you leave Stay with me, just for today

English Version

She's saying, Baby, come and follow me There's not a bad thing here tonight Save your reasons all for later Stay with me a little while

Anna asks him to follow her and assures him that everything is fine, it’s fine if this is not going to last long. It’s not the time for reason and overthinking. The gendered pronoun here refers to Anna, but we will know more about her in the next verses. It is worth mentioning that in the primary handwritten lyrics by Jimin, there was no “She” and it was modified later considering the dialogues added to the intro. Anyway, we know Jimin didn’t release these drafts in his album for no reason.

In this part of the MV, we see Jimin sitting alone in a room, and with a flicker of lights, the room is filled with mud. Suddenly, a muddy hand of a girl grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him to a party. There are several symbols in this part, the lonely room is Jimin’s reality, and the party is his dream. The mud symbolizes dreams and desires that leave their trace on your life and soul.

[Verse 2]

Korean Version, Translated

Watch me go Drenching myself all night (Away) So that even the morning Gets drunk and doesn't arrive

English Version

Watch me go Now, I sink down, all alone away Where am I? A dark haze clouding up my eyes

From here, we don’t see the girl because Jimin and the girl became one. She was her reflection from the beginning, the side that leads him out of his loneliness, and allures him to his dreams and desires, tempts him to be careless and stop thinking too much. Some say she is Jimin’s Anima, but these lyrics never go to the deep levels of the subconscious to reach the Anima. She is his feminine side that is a tangible side of him, and Jimin’s asymmetric makeup gives it away. Also, the mirrored moves between Jimin and the female dancer in “Like Crazy’s” choreography made it clear that the feminine presence in this song is Jimin’s reflection.

[Pre-Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

As the loud music I get faded out A cliché story like a drama I get used to it Have I come too far to find the me that you used to know Yeah, I know You know I know (Ooh)

English Version

I can hear the voices listening Don't know who they are Trying to take the pressure off Been reaching for the stars Tell me, will I find myself again? When I go too far? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

Jimin enters the party and starts drinking, dancing, and having fun with the others. He laughs and enjoys himself in the crowd and trusts the supposed strangers, but the confusion doesn’t leave him alone. He feels lost, and as the lyrics say, he is worried about going too far and not finding himself again. The two opposite sides of him are conflicting. It’s the contradiction between "fear and desire", between "pain and numbness", between "loneliness and losing yourself", and between "reason and dream" that leaves him confused.

[Chorus and Post Chorus]

Korean Version, Translated

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Hold onto the end of the night Every night You spin me up high The moon with you in its arms Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

English Version

I'd rather be Lost in the lights, lost in the lights I'm outta my mind Can you help me numb the pain? Each night, you spin me up high Emotions on ice Let me have a taste Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') Oh, it's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever, you and I

In this part, he confesses which side he really wants to follow. He wants to go out of his mind, lose himself to the desire, and leave the reason behind. It’s the escapism that saves him from loneliness and the pain of real life. The chorus is the sexy and at the same time, the most poetic part of this song, especially where he is spinning up high in the arms of the moon.

The last line of the post-chorus, “Forever you and I” which also repeats in the last part of the interlude, is crucial because it declares that Jimin is not talking about vagrancy or promiscuity. He wants it all with his significant other, the only one who can help him numb the pain of real life and escape it. But this escapism has its consequences, and we see all that mud flush out of every corner symbolizing it. This scene artistically ends with Jimin facing his reflection in the crowd. The question is, is this reflection the same significant other, or is it Jimin himself? We will get the answer in the next part.

[Verse 3]

Korean Version, Translated

The me, reflected in the mirror Is going crazy endlessly I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

English Version

All my reflections, I Can't even recognize I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

His fear of losing himself was true, and it's happening now. This duality confuses him and makes him question his reality. Which side is the true Jimin? He doesn't care anymore because this escapism makes him feel alive.

Here in the MV, we see Jimin facing the reflection, and it immediately cuts to the restroom scene where he faces his literal reflection in the mirror and talks to him about not recognizing him anymore. Then, the restroom being dismantled symbolizes his state of mind. "The reflection of myself in an unfamiliar appearance" was the concept of "his "FACE" which was a whole album about Jimin himself.

[Outro]

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don't you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on) (Alone again What's the point?)

Jimin knows the consequences of losing himself but embraces it. He knows it's gonna break him but doesn't want to wake up from his dream. He knows everything will collapse but doesn't need a savior. He wants to stay in that dream, but he knows it's impossible, and sooner or later, he will be dragged out of it.

Is there a way to cut all the connections to the real world of loneliness and stay in this dream forever? We get the answer in the MV, and it's not positive because suddenly, everything goes backward in speed, to where we started (remember the outro being played in the beginning? That was the clue).

He goes back to his lonely room with a muddy hand. Did his hand get dirty from a touch of his reflection, or was the muddy hand in the beginning his own hand? Is he trapped in a loop? Maybe. Maybe this wasn't his first or the last time coming back from that dreamland, and it was the reason for so much mud accumulated in his room. He is a regular in that dreamland and he can't quit.

Conclusion

It's understandable if this analysis of the movie, lyrics, and the MV didn't guide you in any direction, and maybe you are even more confused after reading it all. But don't blame yourself because Jimin already told us that, his emotions for this movie are complex. So, don't look for just one answer, maybe we are not supposed to end up with one conclusion, and this song also can have multiple interpretations and meanings. But what are these meanings?

If you pay attention to the lyrics and the MV you will realize that despite them being aligned and in sync, the lyrics have more connection to the movie. While filming the MV, Jimin mentioned that things (scenes of the MV) didn't happen like this in real life, which was an obvious fact, because this song is clearly not about being the life of the party and stuff like that, and has more internal meanings.

In "Like Crazy", Jimin talks about the loneliness of his real life, the isolation and limitations he experienced during the pandemic, and maybe other times. But Jimin finds an alternate reality, where he can be himself, be free and careless, and forget about the future. This alternate reality is rooted in two possibilities: The feminine side, and the significant other. The feminine side is what we face in the MV, and there are not many signs of it in the lyrics.

The feminine side appears as a muddy hand and a presence at the part that faces Jimin and becomes one with him as his reflection. The idea of "bigender" is nothing new in the concepts that Jimin has offered on different occasions, from his fake tattoos in ARMY-Zip 2019 to the performance of "Filter" in 2020 and his photopholio in 2022, he has expressed this fluidity in his work, and I think the visual concept of "Like Crazy" with his different makeup in the MV and the choreography was the epitome of it.

What about the significant other? As I mentioned in the analysis of chorus parts, "Forever You and I" Can only be interpreted as his exclusiveness to someone who is his significant other. This person is the one who saves Jimin from his loneliness and assures him about their happy ending. This person has no doubt in them lasting forever and only wants Jimin to trust him to take the lead and let that happen.

He keeps saying to his significant other that there is no future. They can't be together forever, this is just a temporary situation, and despite finding comfort in each other, they should not get attached because they will forced to be separated. It's not like Jimin doesn't believe in this love, he does and has the same wishes and dreams, but he keeps getting dragged to the real world where the rules govern.

This part is just a personal opinion as a Jikooker, but I did this analysis in my head last year when "Like Crazy" was newly released and had no intention of making a connection between this and Jikook, until "Seven" came out. We all know JK had no hand in making the sexy lyrics of "Seven", but after watching the MV (which had nothing to do with the lyrics), I couldn't unsee the fact that the concept of Seven's MV looked so much like a response to "Like Crazy's" lyrics. Still, we don't know if JK gave any ideas for the concept of the MV, but considering his record of working as an MV director, it's not impossible.

The End.

This is all I could say about "Like Crazy", a masterpiece that is still thriving in the charts and still touches people's hearts because it comes from real and deep emotions that Jimin had in his heart. That emotion got us the moment we listened to it for the first time, even though verbalizing it, is never easy, no matter how many analyses and reviews we write.

[winchesterwild78]

Carry on My Wayward Son part 1

Master List

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: Mention of injury, angst, 

A/N: Just something I’ve been thinking about. This takes place at the end of Season 15. Dean doesn’t die, cause dammit he deserved better than that. Uses Supernatural characters but doesn’t follow the storyline. All work is my own. Don’t take it. 

Minors DNI 18+

Sam and Dean were on a simple vampire hunt. Dean had called you from the hotel to talk to you and had you look up some lore. You had the flu and stayed home, resting and getting better. 

You’d been hunting with the Winchester’s for about 3 years now, and Dean’s girlfriend for about as long. He was the love of your life, and you knew you were his. It took some time, but you were able to break down some of his walls. 

You saw a future with him. One without hunting and with the children you two would talk about late at night,wrapped in each other’s arms. The only problem was, Dean didn’t think he deserved that kind of life. 

It broke your heart to hear him say he didn’t deserve happiness. After everything he’d done for everyone, for the world, he deserved so much more than you could possibly give him. 

Laying in your shared bed, you were dozing in and out of sleep. Your fever had finally broken, and you hadn’t gotten sick in a few hours. The fatigue was all that was left. 

You kept your phone close in case the boys needed research done, but also because Dean would call when the job was done so you knew they were safe. You glanced at the clock and it was after 2am. You started to get worried, but you knew they would call. 

Maybe they didn’t get started as soon as you thought. Maybe they went out to eat or ran into some other hunters. Maybe they got arrested….again. Your mind raced with different scenarios, but nothing could prepare you for what really happened. 

The silence in the bedroom was shattered by the shrill sound of your phone ringing. You looked at the screen, it was Sam. “Sammy?” You heard a sniffle, “Sam! What happened?!” “Y/N, I need you to get to Mercy Hospital as soon as you can. It’s Dean.” Your heart leaped in your throat, and your breath hitched. “Sammy, what happened?” “There was a fight, and it went sideways fast. Please, hurry. I don’t know how much time he has left.” 

Your head spun and replayed his words over and over again. “I don’t know how much time he has left.” You got dressed, grabbed your bag and ran to the garage. Climbing in your car, you took off towards Sam and Dean. Praying the whole way to Jack. “Jack, please if you can hear me, please don’t take him away from me. He deserves the life we’ve talked about, please Jack.” The tears fell the whole way to the hospital. 

You don’t remember how you got there. You know you just drove, the past 3 hours a blur. When you got to the hospital you ran inside. Sam was standing there waiting for you. His eyes swollen and red, he was covered in blood. You threw your arms around him. “Sammy, where is he?” “They have him in the ICU. It doesn’t look good, Y/N.” You gasped as the tears fell. 

“I need to see him, please.” Sam nodded and walked you to Dean’s room. Dean was laying in the bed, the machines he was hooked up to made a steady beeping noise. He looked so vulnerable laying in the bed. 

You crossed the room, kissed his lips and sat down beside him. Inside you were falling apart, on the outside you had to remain stoic for him. You took his hand in yours and looked at Sam. “Sammy, please tell me what happened.” 

“It was supposed to be a simple vampire hunt. Unfortunately there were kids taken, and you know Dean. His focus was getting the kids to safety. We were ambushed by mask wearing vampires. Dean was in hand to hand combat with the biggest one. He didn’t see the piece of rebar sticking out of the column in the center of the room. As Dean went to cut off the vamps head, he kicked him into the column. I jumped up and killed the vamp. Dean was still against the column. He begged me to leave him and get the kids out. I called the police and stayed with Dean. He was losing too much blood. Dean told me to get out of this life, go back to school and live my life. He wanted me to tell you he loved you, and to look in the safe in your room. He left something for you. He also made me promise to make you move on and have those babies you two talked about.” 

As Sam continued talking, the tears fell heavy and fast. You knew Dean thought he was going to die. You leaned over and kissed his lips, “Dean Winchester, don’t you leave me. I want those babies, but only with you. They are going to have your strength and loving heart, my stubbornness, and above all they are going to have both of us to love and guide them. You have to give that to me Dean. You’re the love of my life and I can’t do this without you. Please baby, please fight.”

Sam put his hand on your shoulder. You looked at Sam with tears still in your eyes, “Sammy what am I going to do if I lose him? I love him so much.” “I know, Y/N. He’s a fighter.” You sighed, “Sammy, you should go shower and change. You’re covered in blood.” Sam looked at his clothes and shook his head, “Yeah. I’ll head to the hotel. Are you going to be okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Sam placed a kiss on the top of your head and left. You sat beside Dean still holding his hand when the doctor came in. “Oh hello, I wasn’t expecting anyone to be in here. I’m Dr. Wells, who are you?” “I’m Mrs. Winchester, his wife.” You motioned towards Dean. 

You knew they wouldn’t let you stay if you weren’t immediate family and there was no way in hell you were leaving him. “Well, nice to meet you. I spoke to your brother-in-law earlier. Your husband was impaled on a piece of rusty rebar when he got into that fight. He’s not out of the woods yet, but I want to let you know those kids he saved are all okay and are back home with their families.” 

You smiled as you looked over at Dean. “You hear that baby, the kids are safe.” You rubbed circles on his hand. “I’ll leave you with him. Mrs. Winchester, if you need anything just let one of the nurses know. I owe him a debt of gratitude. One of the kids he saved was my nephew. I’m going to do whatever I can to bring your husband back to you.” 

You nodded and softly smiled at him. The pride you felt for Dean magnified even more. He was always putting others, especially children. It was one of the things you loved most about him, and the reason you knew you wanted him to be the father of your children. They would always be protected as long as he was alive.

Sam came back a few hours later, clean and in new clothes. You told him what the doctor said and he smiled. Silence filled the room as the two of you sat watching Dean. 

“Y/N, why don’t you go get a coffee or something to eat, stretch your legs. You’re still recovering from the flu and you need rest and to keep up your strength.” You smiled softly at Sam, “I appreciate it, but I’m not leaving him.” Sam sighed. He knew there was no sense in arguing with you. You were more stubborn than Dean. 

Sam sat in the recliner in the room and you sat in the chair beside Dean’s bed. Your hand on his and your head laying on the bed. Sam dozed off in the chair and you fell asleep too. 

You were woken up around daybreak by someone calling your name and touching your hand. “Sweetheart, wake up.” That voice, that smooth voice pulled you from your sleep. Your head shot up and you met Dean’s green eyes looking at yours. 

You jumped up and threw your arms around him as the tears fell. “Oh my god, Dean! You came back to me!” Dean chuckled “of course I did. I couldn’t leave my girl. By the way, Jack says hello.” He smirked at you. 

You let out the breath you’d been holding since you got the phone call. Sam woke up and hugged Dean too. The nurses and Dr Wells came in to check on Dean. His wound was healing and he was doing well. 

You thanked the doctor and the nurses. Dr Wells looked at Dean, “You’ve got yourself an incredible wife, Mr Winchester. She never left your side.” Dean smiled at you and back at the doctor, “Yeah, she’s pretty amazing. That’s why I married her.” 

After the doctor left Dean looked at you and smiled, “So, Mrs Winchester. What do they have good to eat around here?” You smiled and hung your head a little, “Sorry, I knew they wouldn’t let me stay if I didn’t tell them we were married.” 

Dean cupped your face, “I’m not complaining. I like the sound of it.” You leaned in and kissed his lips, “good, cause so do I.” “I’ll go grab you a burger and some fries.” 

Dean nodded. “Oh and some pie too.” “That’s my girl.” 

You left the hospital room filled with so much joy. As you climbed in your car to go get Dean food you looked up “Jack, thank you for sending him back to me. I love him so much and I promise to spend the rest of my life loving him the way he deserves.” 

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[d-targaryenshoe]

Carpets And Premieres - Luke Thompson

Word count: 827

Summary: Arriving at the premiere of the third season of a show you've been working on for two years, is rather exciting, no?

As the paparazzi flashbulbs went off like a thousand tiny suns, you and Luke, made your way down the red carpet as his hand was placed on your lower back.

You were wearing a pastel blue dress with a fitted top, a plunging neckline, and a flowing skirt that added a touch of refinement.

The intricate beading and embroidery details on the dress not only improve its visual appeal but also make it a statement piece for all who see it. 

 The fitted top ensured a flattering fit, while the flowing skirt added a touch of drama and elegance. 

The air was electric with anticipation and the sweet, intoxicating scent of popcorn wafted past, carried on the warm, humid breeze. 

Fans lined up along the barricades, some holding signs that read

 "We love you!" and "Season 3, we are ready for the feels!" while others eagerly snapped photos with their smartphones.

You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach as you spotted the familiar faces of the cast members, who felt more like family than co-stars. 

They were all dressed to the nines, looking like they'd just stepped out of the pages of a romantic novel.

 As you and Luke approached the interviewer, you noticed the microphone in his hand and the earnest expression on his face.

 He was excited to speak with you about the upcoming season.

"So, Luke, how does it feel to be here at the premiere of Bridgerton season three?" he asked, his voice steady and professional. 

You could see the flash of Luke's dimple as he smiled and replied

"It's absurd. We've all been working so hard on this season, and to finally share it with our fans like this is just incredible." He paused for a moment, looking into the interviewer's eyes before turning to you. 

"And, of course, having her by my side makes it even more special." You felt your cheeks redden at his words.

"And what about you, y/n?" the interviewer asked, turning his attention to you. 

You cleared your throat, trying to find the right words to express how much being a part of the Bridgerton world meant to you.

 "It's been such an extraordinary journey," you began,

 "I never could have imagined being here, standing next to this amazing man, watching our characters come to life on a screen. It's a dream come true." You glanced over at Luke, feeling his hand squeeze yours gently in support.

The interviewer seemed to sense the sincerity in your words, and nodded before asking, 

"So, what can we expect from the new season? Any special details you can share with us?" 

You and Luke exchanged knowing looks.

 "Well," you began, "I can tell you that the love story between y/c/n and Benedict, this season is going to be breathtaking. There's a lot of passion, a lot of drama, and course, a few jaw-droppers along the way." 

Luke chimed in, "And the chemistry between y/c/n and Benedict? It's off the charts. I think the fans are going to love what they see."

You smiled at him, feeling your heart flutter. Even after all this time, being around Luke still made you feel giddy. 

"And what about the other characters?" the interviewer prodded. "Any favorite moments or storylines you can share?"

 Luke thought for a moment before answering, 

"There's so much to choose from, but I think my favorite part is seeing how the Bridgerton siblings find love one by one. They're an amazing family, both on and off screen." 

You nodded in agreement.

 "And," you added with a grin, "I think we can all look forward to seeing how even a wallflower can bloom."

As the interviewer thanked you and Luke, you both excused yourselves from the media frenzy and made your way over to where your co-stars, Jonathan Bailey, Nicola Coughlan, Claudia Jessie, and Simone Ashley were standing. 

They were deep in conversation when you approached, but quickly broke away with hugs and well-wishes for the premiere. 

"How are you both holding up?" Jonathan asked with a warm smile. "This whole thing is such a whirlwind, isn't it?"

"It certainly is," you agreed, returning his grin. "But it's so exciting to be here with all of you. You've all been such a huge support system over the years." 

You glanced over at Luke, who nodded in agreement. "It does feel like a family," he said, squeezing your hand.

"Well," Nicola cut in with a laugh, "let's not forget that we also have some amazing material to work with. Lady Whistledown would be proud." 

They all shared a laugh before falling silent, gazing out at the sea of adoring fans.

 "This is going to be one heck of a ride," Claudia said with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. 

"But I think we're all up for it." You couldn't help but feel a sense of camaraderie and pride as you stood there with your fellow Bridgerton colleagues.

[sunlighthroughthe-ashes]

"the earth was made for lovers — " and no purer lovers exist than sol and sunjae. fate fell in love with them at first glance: and how could it not? it knew what a miracle it was witnessing: two souls bound to each other beyond the reaches of death and life. forever intertwined. "how could you make me live without you?" sunjae asks — the devastation in his eyes almost a living thing; a bleeding heart. how indeed? how can two people that neither time nor evil could separate stay apart any longer? and then, right after: "i'm sorry i'm late." this boy — this beautiful, beautiful boy. after finding out that sol erased his memories, that he DIED for her — his first instinct is to apologize. TO APOLOGIZE for not remembering her earlier. and the childlike surrender in sol's sobs — because HER sunjae has finally returned. has remembered her. will no longer let her be alone: how she instantly reaches for him. how they reach for each other. a lifetime's worth of love, finally fulfilled. the fact that they got to celebrate just being with each other, savoring the sweetness of each other's company: it meant the world to me. when you walk with pain as your constant companion, ordinary moments like being held in someone's arms, waking up to the face of the person you love most — they take on a kind of holiness. and you can see that blessing bestow itself over both their heads; the profound relief and joy shining in their faces during every scene. because nothing can keep them apart any longer. the callbacks during this episode were beautiful: it means so much to me that sunjae put aside his proposal to let sol pursue her dream. it's the pinnacle of love — he's willing to wait as long as it takes. and why shouldn't he? they have all the time in the world, now. taesung's last scene being him smiling at a happy sol — wishing her well from the bottom of his heart. being the key to their freedom at last. never has a second lead storyline been resolved so gently, with so much kindness. i was in tears for the entire hour: i think my body broke into blossom, it was filled with so much pleasure seeing sol and sunjae be happy together at last. i've always been a reluctant cynic, but i felt my imagination bloom, soften into pink watching sunjae propose to sol while the cherry blossoms looked on, witnessing the weight of three timelines fall away at last — make space for the radiant future: a bride and groom with eyes for no one but each other. love is real. love is reachable, attainable, capable of pouring sunlight into the darkest recesses of the soul: only someone who truly believed that could have made this show. i have loved every second of lovely runner; and no second more so than their expressions at the very end: incandescent with joy, finally free of all fear. they are safe in their love for each other; in the sanctuary of each other's arms.

poet joy harjo said it best: "i am not afraid of love / or its consequence of light."

[moralofallthestories]

CK s6 part1 spoilers‼️

This is going to be mostly my rant on ep5 and some plots from the previous episodes

- My heart BREAKS for Tory, it’s like the writers just decided to add more on top of the misery from her story last season. S5 the girl broke up with someone she loves and cares about for Kreese’s plan, ended up hurting herself badly and had no one by her side the entire season, and now they just decided to kill off her mom just when her life is starting to get better. What did she do to deserve this??

- Look how quickly Daniel and Johnny moved on to Hawk for their selections literally after they all learned about Tory’s mother’s death, like if you both are such good senseis, wouldn’t it be nice to actually give a shit about Tory and her grief?? Instead of making if about yourself, how about we actually go console her and making sure she’s okay or at least be there? Both of them are such bad mentors for the kids, first is how they handled Kenny’s situation after he got humiliated with the accident, Johnny only spoke up when he’s fighting for Devon and Daniel rlly favors his kids than his other students. If any of these two even showed the same attention and support to Kenny and Tory, I’m sure neither of them would actually quit Miyagi-Do so quickly on the spot. Some sensei they really are huh.

- Robby my man, I get that going to the Sekai Taikai is important for you but are you really gonna do nothing after your girlfriend’s meltdown about her mother’s death? At this point this show’s writing is so bad I don’t wanna hear about any “they probably did this off-screen” kinda bullshit no more. I swear if part 2 has any point of showing him standing on the moral high ground accusing Tory of switching sides like what he did to her in s5 imma riot, cancel my Netflix subscription along with my family plan :))

- Based on s5 and what we’ve seen so far, my headcanon for Robby & Tory is that he’s the one that usually texts her first and he texts more but she’s not good with it, she’s not good with expressing her emotions either so sooner or later they’re gonna face this communication problem in the relationship (of which the problem was clearly shown before in s5 when they “broke up”)

- While the privileged kids talking about their top colleges and applications, what Robby and Tory had was the Sekai Taikai - underdogs in the top 4

- Devon, my girl…not a good decision…why you choose to go on that path

- I can never like Anthony he really gets on my nerves

- Bad writing with all those conflicts overall, hated how they handled Kenny’s character especially trying to embarrassing him for the flag fight. I was hoping to see him and his brother in more action but you can never expect too much from Cobra Kai writers I guess

- The baby storyline continues…the most boring and unnecessary storyline that ruins Johnny’s character as a father and a sensei

- CK really has this type of half assed writing throughout all seasons why am I surprised lmao

The good part:

- Sam & Tory’s reconciliation and their apologies to each other, the sleepover pillow fight was so cute and I love seeing both of them are so done with Johnny’s instigating

- Robby and Tory’s promise of standing together

- How Robby found himself & his confidence again after seeing Tory showed up, this is what partners influence each other

- Robby & Tory’s little nod to each other whenever one of them is fighting someone else, no words but it means so much more

- Johnny & Mike’s fight - it has to be purely a fan service kinda fight but I’ll take it

- Hawk & Demitri’s fight, unnecessary but it surely was entertaining

- Kyler’s redemption, I’m actually happy they didn’t give him a glamorous redemption and try to change him completely to let him join Miyagi-Do, it’s nice to see that his frat boy personality is still there

- Kwon’s fighting skills are some real deal

[cfr749]

Initial Thoughts on Chenford in 6x07

All right... I'm feeling... a lot at the moment, so just sharing my initial reactions before seeing anyone else's. I'm sure my feelings will evolve. Also this turned into a GD essay and I'm sorry.

The Good

Grey acknowledging that Lucy was going through a lot ABOVE & BEYOND the break up. I just wish he'd mentioned the shooting, too. Lucy deserves to be more than her relationship with Tim and I need to actually see that in the future.

Lucy laying out 2 key things in her conversation with Grey - how easily Tim walked away and that he had no right to make that decision for her

Prior to the last scene (see The Ugly below), I thought Tim's interactions with the therapist were reasonably well done; if only therapy was that easy in real life lol

"You've always got a home with me" - I loved this final scene between Lucy and Tamara. I don't really have feelings either way about Tamara at this point, and this still hit me right in the heart.

Smitty's poll made me laugh, but also another solid indicator that these writers / producers do in fact really enjoy laughing at the expense of the fandom and shippers (which, whatever, I don't care that they do, I'd prob do the same; but it does irk me when people act like these writers should be worshipped because of all the things they "give" us)

The Tim

"I'm not depressed. I broke up with her."

"I was her TO." Not her friend, cuz god knows Tim has yet to deal with the fact that he started banging his former Rookie I suppose.

I dunno whether to put this in The Good or The Bad at this point; it depends on where they take it, so instead Tim gets a section all about why he's a dick.

To be clear, I do not like that Tim is a dick. But I actually do kind of like that it is very clear TO THE AUDIENCE that Tim is being kind of a dick. Do I still think people will bend over backwards to defend him? Of course they will.

From my perspective, I love Tim, I understand that he thinks he's doing the right thing, and has lots and lots of trauma. I've never seen Tim as a character that magically healed at some point between Seasons 1 & 5 (please see his storyline with his dad, his ongoing issues with UC work and unwillingness to confront or deal with them, his feelings about therapy historically, his inability to dump Ashley, etc. etc.). He's never been perfect and he doesn't need to be.

All of those things are true. None of those things give him a free pass to be kind of a dick. He still has to take accountability for how he treated Lucy (which, to be clear, was like sh*t).

The Bad

Lucy being petty AF with the invites to Tamara's dinner - let her be ANGRY, but give me villain Lucy over this dumb sh*t.

Lucy having no one other than Grey to talk to.

Others acting like Lucy is actually kind of pathetic (why do these writers love sh*tting on her so much? girl could not be down and kicked any harder at this point) -- Celina / Nolan and the double dumping crap, Lucy thinking Grey paid actors and him telling her she was out of her damn mind

The last interaction between Lucy and Tim. I am so angry for her. I needed to see that from her, but instead it felt kind of like her being dumped / a kicked puppy all over again. We got it, thanks. What's next? Lucy being incredibly happy with the hottest man on earth? I'm here for it tbh. Lucy plotting Tim's murder? Also here for it at this point. LOL.

The Ugly

I could not hate the implication of that final scene with Tim and the therapist and the door shutting more. There was ZERO reason they couldn't have had him show up during the day, and it actually disgusts me that they are pushing this line again, but especially with Tim. I am literally NEVER this dramatic, but in this case I really hope they did that to just get a reaction, because if anything were to actually happen between Tim and the therapist, I'd be 100% done with this ship and show as would a whole lot of the audience (I think). If I kept watching, it would only be to see Lucy be absurdly happy without Tim.

Well, what'd I miss? What did y'all think?

[candygalaxyyy]

I didn’t know how much I needed XO Kitty until today! I was already anticipating it as an avid rom-com watcher and fan of To All the Boys (especially the first movie). Plus I’m always down for cross-cultural media, given that’s what i study. I just love this show so much, I’m about to rewatch it again after this post. The LGBTQIA+ representation in this show definitely holds a place in my heart. I know its not the most groundbreaking or revolutionary queer media and I’m sure there are critiques to be made, but I’m too happy about it rn to see it in a more critical lense.

I’m just glad that we are getting bi/pan female lead representation and more queer Asian representation in mainstream media. Like yuri being lesbian is everything to me, i love her and I love juiliana as well (I hope we get more of her in s2 cause yay to black queerness). Also, kitty’s story hits so close to home and its comforting to see it being portrayed on a mainstream platform. I just don’t know if I’m team minho or team yuri as of now. I love the tension between kitty and yuri and they have this really comforting vibe when they are around each other, its very cute and cozy. For minho and kitty, the banter and chemistry is so explosive, their jokes just bounce of of each other and its fun to see. AND BOTH STORYLINES ARE ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS CODED!!! Like how am I supposed to choose Netflix?? How??! I’m just glad she broke up with dae, it was the best for the both of them. Now season 2 needs to be about her exploring her sexuality, and i need it to be either minho or yuri, I can’t handle another love interest.

[breathe-2am]

hey idk how to tell u this but the big cliffhanger in s1 isn’t the crew being separated it’s stede going out to find ed when ed has fallen so deep into heartbreak and self-loathing that he’s destroyed stede’s ship and split up their crew. the cliffhanger is about “how will ed and stede fix their relationship after stede broke ed’s heart and ed went off the deep end?”

bc what’s going on with the crew is not the main storyline. the main storyline is the romance between ed and stede, djenks has said this many times. the main plotline is the development of ed and stede’s relationship. the show didn’t “shove most of the characters into 1 minute scenes between much longer gentlebeard arcs” in 2.04, the crew was just part of the B plot that episode, which is to be expected because they are all side characters who are always in B or C plots if they’re not part of the plot with the main characters (ed and stede). the main A plot of 2.04 is ed and stede making up now that they’ve finally been reunited, and the show develops this storyline in a rewrite/adaptation/homage to the play who’s afraid of virginia woolfe.

it’s fine if u don’t like gentlebeard or if your main enjoyment from the show is izzy/the crew, but if that’s the case for you then unfortunately you’re always have a harder time enjoying ofmd bc the writing in the show is always going to prioritize gentlebeard over the other characters. the crew reuniting was always going to be much less important than ed and stede reuniting and making up. that’s what david jenkins meant when he said “the show is the relationship.”

Heyo! I see my meme has breached the side of ofmd tumblr I usually interact with, which is really cool! Thanks for stopping by haha

I think your response is so emblematic of the shift the show went thru from season 1 to season 2- namely, that season 1 was an ensemble show and season 2 was not. Stede was the main character, yes, and he got more backstory and focus than a lot of the crew, but the story of the show in s1 was that it was a bunch of people with conflicting personalities shoved onto a boat together. Stede’s the center, but every other character gets focus as well. This show, by djenks own admission, was not originally intended to be a rom-com romance between stede and ed. He said that he didn’t commit to actually have them be together until filming season 1 episode 6- more than halfway thru the story of the first season, and that it was mainly due to rhys and taika’s acting that made him change it from an unrequited love to a relationship. So while the story is a lot about gentlebeard, saying that every other character is secondary to them and their romance isnt true.

I think a great example to bring up would be season 1 episode 7, the episode that solidifies (via lucius) that yes, this is happening. This is a very relationship heavy episode, but crucially gb isn’t the only focus.

Here's a breakdown: we start w a 1:00 gb scene, then roach comes in asking about the oranges, which leads to a 2:00 scene w the whole crew that sets up the episodes plot (swede has scurvy, we need to get more oranges). Jim protests going to st augustine, which is followed by a 1:00 scene between jim and olu, including a jim flashback. Stede and lucius return with the treasure map, there’s 1:30 more of the whole crew, then we go into the captains cabin for 1:00 of stede, ed, and lucius. 6 minutes into the ep flashes to the crew on land, a 0:50 conversation between jim and olu, then 2:00 of the whole crew, ending then nana invites them all to eat some cake at 8:15. We then go to stede, lucius, and ed in the marketplace until the 9 minute mark (abt 0:45), then back to the church where olu and jim talk to nana for 1:15, including more jim flashbacks. Back to the adventure w stede ed and lucius, which is 2 scenes back to back, totally about 3:00 (the “oh my god this is happening” scene). Then back to the church for jim olu and nana, a 1:00 jim flashback inside a 3:00 scene. Then back to the captains and lucius for 1:30, then to jim and olu, more jim flashback, then the a and b plots converge at the 2:30 mark when jim sees stede digging up their tree. Stede, ed, and lucius exit the scene after 1:30, jim and olu have a conversation for another 1:00. We see the crew leaving, then olu and nana talk, which all takes 2:00. Back on the boat, ed and stede become co-captains in a 0:45 scene, then the final 1:30 of the ep is izzy at jackie’s with 1:30 credits

Gentlebeard: 9:00, whole crew: 5:30, Jim and Olu: 11:35, Izzy: 1:30, credits: 1:30

I would say that s1e7 is the most overtly gb episode before the kiss in s1e9. But as you can see, it’s not just gb. There’s a lot of focus on jim, who gets multiple filmed flashbacks, there’s scenes w jim, olu, and nana, there’s scenes of the whole crew together, stede and ed are really only oncscreen together for abt 9 minutes- not even 1 third of the episode. And this is the ep that says directly to the audience “yes, they have a romance building”. I’m not trying to say w this that every member of the crew needs to b given equal screentime, bc that didn’t happen here obv, but everyone is doing something, and the plot is moving forward propelled by more than just the gb relationship.

Now this is very much changed in season 2.

S2e4 starts with 0:20 of stede waking ed up, then 0:45 of stede and the crew, 0:30 of ed and buttons, izzy’s w the unicorn for 1:00. The crew kick ed off the boat in a 1:15 scene. Now at the 2:25 mark we get to the plots splitting. Ed has a 1:15 scene on land, 0:45 is spent talking to a bunny. Stede and buttons find anne and mary’s antique store after 0:45 of walking. The scene in the antique porch is 2:15. Back to the revenge where there’s a 1:00 scene where wee john, roach, and pete talk about how the kraken crew, lucius, and izzy are different, and the kraken crew thinks they’re plotting to kill them. Already we go back to anne and mary’s where theres various conversations for 3:00. We go back to the revenge for a 0:45 scene where the revenge crew scare the kraken crew and lucius by trying to surprise them. Back to land, where anne and stede and mary and ed talk for 2:00. Back to the revenge for a 1:45 scene w the crews, izzy enters at the 1:00 mark and then crawls away. Well that’s that, we go back to the dinner on land for 1:00, then ed storms out and he and stede have a conversation on the couch for 2:15. Anne and mary reenter, followed by a 3:00 argument that ends with anne burning down the house and they don’t kiss for some reason. We have a 0:20 scene of the crew preparing the unicorn leg, izzy is in his room and received the leg in a 0:40 scene, and well it’s been a whole minute on the revenge, time to go back to ed and stede for 1:00, ed and buttons talk end when buttons turns into a seagull after 1:30. Ed and stede talk for 0:30, and then we end w izzy the new unicorn for 0:45. Credits are again 1:30.

Gentlebeard: 19:50, whole crew: 5:05, Izzy: 3:10, credits: 1:30

To illustrate my point, i made some graphs

You don’t even have to think very hard to see the change in distribution of screentime season 1 vs season 2. And i’d argue that this is absolutely to the show’s detriment, because that ensemble cast is given way less time to shine, grow, or even speak. Notice how for the second chart there isn’t a jim and olu section? Yea that’s cause Jim has 10 lines this whole episode, and Olu has 5. Two characters, whose relationship, backstory, and plot takes up more screentime than gentlebeard’s in season 1, have a combined 15 lines between them, only 4 of which are longer than 1 sentence- 2 for jim, 2 for olu, and those lines are two sentences long. god bless us every one.

I get that there’s a large subset of the ofmd fandom that only cares abt ed and stede. I get that that’s how u find enjoyment in the show, and u know what? All the power to u. I’m not saying stop liking the show, stop liking gentlebeard, stop caring abt these characters. I don’t like gentlebeard, but i used to, and i remember really really loving ed and stede and their relationship in season 1. That changed in season 2 because of ed’s abusive actions and stede pivoting from being an independent character to just basically following whatever ed says (but that’s a story for another day).

But let’s be honest with each other, and with ourselves: season 1 was an ensemble show. Season 2 narrowed its focus to gentlebeard, while also making it (for some people) harder to like. That’s why a lot of people (myself included) didn’t like season 2 as much as season 1.

Also, just to focus back in on the original issue, the meme was not about gentlebeard. It was about Anne and Mary. And there is literally no way you can convince me that they were used as well as they could have been, or that they were implemented into the story in a smart, necessary, or even respectful way.

Because i'm a nice person, i made a brand new updated meme just for u, anon!

:-)