#that sounds weird typed out
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lizzybeeee Ā· 5 months ago
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DATV explaining the 'Regret Prison'
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A REGRET PRISON IS STUPID AND I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT ITS NOT
TL;DR: a prison can serve as a metaphor but it shouldn't be entirely comprised of a metaphor.
From what I understood from what the game gave us: Solas has made a new prison to move the God's too - since bringing down the veil would free them from the Black City. This new prison is separate(?) from the fade or so far removed/contained that bringing down the veil would not compromise it...apparently. We interrupt his ritual, Solas gets sucked into the new prison he made, and the elven gods are free.
When Rook gets kicked into the fade they're physically there - which means it's a physical place in the fade, like how it was a mixture of physical/thought when we entered it in DAI. Which makes sense - the gods are real and living beings, they need to be in a place, there must be some aspect of physicality to it.
Alright, cool, it's a Black City 2.0 - I assume it's better defended to prevent people breaking in/out again?
NOPE.
We get there and it's a 'regret prison'?? It's tied to the regrets of those within it? Composed of regrets??? Solas had to wait for the right moment for Rook to be sufficiently 'full of regret' that they could switch places?
So is the prison tied to Solas's regrets? If so, how can Rook escape? The prison seems to work around the idea that it relies on the regrets of the person it's holding to work - which is how/why Rook was able to be trapped and later free themselves (along with whatever remains of the team apparently being able to do something on their end, not that we hear about it).
WHICH IS STUPID!
Are you telling me the prison intended to hold to megalomaniac elven gods was going to imprison them based on their own regrets? Is Solas assuming that Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are as self-pitying as he is? They'd break out quicker than Rook did! He made a time out corner for the elven gods to sit in and gave them an out if they reflected on their emotions/regrets or decided that they don't regret what they did. Elgar'nan, a spirit of tyranny, is not going to 'regret' his actions - he is going to justify them by telling himself and others that he knows what's best.
We can come across some of Solas's regrets in the prison if you run around a bit and explore:
Remnant of Failure - talking about the orb from Inquisition.
Remnant of Parting - talking about Mythal
Remnant of Reflection - more vague, talking about the Titans I believe.
So maybe he altered it - maybe he intended the prison to be 'locked' with his own regrets because after a millennia of having a pity party he still can't bring himself to self-reflect and look to the future. But what if Solas died? Or if his guilt lessened - would it diminish the strength of the regret prison?
We already have pre-established lore (though DATV has shown they don't really give a crap tbh) that once the being that has claimed/altered an area of the fade is slain, it's influence diminishes both in and outside of the fade. So if the prison was tied to his regrets then it would require Solas to basically live forever to keep it stable - especially if he brought down the veil and removed the one barrier that kept the world and the fade apart.
Rook and Solas needed some assistance to exit - but it doesn't seem like it was much! Solas used his dagger and Rook just...got out through a fade tear? This is Solas's 'more secure' second prison? It has a worse track record than the Black City! If Rook - who is not an elven god - managed to escape the regret prison what is to stop anyone else from breaking in and out of the prison?
And what did Solas intend to do with the blight - the bulk of which is apparently in the black city?? If bringing down the Veil would free the gods in the black city doesn't that mean that the blight would also be released?! Did he have a plan? Why does he go fully ahead with bringing down the veil at the end if the black city is still there and filled with blight?!
I get it: the 'regret prison' is a metaphor for how Solas holds onto the past and how Rook can move past their regrets and grow. He's trapped by the past - it's a prison. Cool. But this prison is supposed to by a physical place to contain the gods - not just to solely contain Solas. The mission is literally called 'A Cage for Gods'.
The Black City is an actual place that's so far out of reach of anywhere else in the fade that no mage can ever reach it while in dreams - let alone physically, which was only done once and took tremendous effort/blood sacrifices. It made sense - it was cool to see floating in the sky in DAO!
Though it's not said specifically, it's strongly implied that Arlathan is the Black City. You can see in the concept art that floating elven city is exactly the same as the black city in DAO! It's this foreboding thing just lurking in the sky - a constant reminder of the sin that led to the horrors of the blights and darkspawn. A real place with lore and history that also serves as a metaphor for the hubris and destruction of those who call themselves gods and act as tyrants -> for both the evanuris and the magisters.
I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS BIOWARE!
WHAT IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS NONSENSE???!!
#we'll need Mickey and Donald to break us out of this one#this screams 'this sounds so cool lets put it in' and not 'how can we do something cool that works with the world we've established'#ā€œit's metaphorical-ā€ it can be metaphorical and make sense!!!#trying to invoke 'emotion' with that black and white tone and only succeeded in getting me to feel pure confusion and rage#THE FADE IS GREEN TINTED - THE LAST GAME WAS LITERALLY COLOUR THEMED AFTER IT#i'm passionate about the fade being green the same way i'm passionate about Aurora's dress being blue and Cinderella's being silver#solas's more secure second prison literally has a worse track record than the black city - why is he so dumb???#I regretted no choices in datv besides the decision to actually play this game lmao#if the game actually acknowledged that Rook's actions led to thousands of people dying maybe I'd feel something in the regret prison#no mention of treviso/ minrathous/ or southern thedas??#the team all knew the risks of what they were doing! they volunteered/made their own choices - ME2 did this so much better#played as an elf so I didn't even feel bad when Harding died because of the weird elf specific dialogue she had#I'm not sorry for the titans/what Solas did - I wasn't even there! Doesn't justify the shit that happened to the elves after either!#this game made me apathetic to LACE HARDING and i loved her in Inquisition#i'm sorry but I had more regret for choosing to speak mean to Merrill once than anything I did in this game#currently writing about the magisters sidereal in my lore post and I needed to blurt this out because its so stupid#typed out the word 'regret' so much is has no meaning in my head anymore lmao#datv critical#datv spoilers#bioware critical#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard critical
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fumifooms Ā· 1 year ago
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. Heā€™s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His lifeā€™s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events heā€™s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isnā€™t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#Iā€™m def editing in the second page into that post that ā€œIā€™ve got three people to think of hereā€ sounds sooo much like thatā€™s#how heā€™d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them šŸ„ŗ#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. Iā€™m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#Heā€™s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#Iā€™m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesnā€™t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#Heā€™s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesnā€™t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ā€˜dying doing something you love. Like drinkingā€™#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what costā€¦#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#ā€˜I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)ā€™ etc etc#Canā€™t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you šŸ˜šŸ’”#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how theyā€™re the key to getting better rights
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kwillow Ā· 9 months ago
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What kind of sound are Theo's... noises... intended to be? Snorts? Mouth sounds? Choking sounds? Stuffy nose sounds? I feel like I imagine them as a different thing every time I read them lol
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Almost all of the above, really! Nasally grunts, snorts, whines, growls, guttural noises that sound like he's clearing his throat or choking on his own air... Theo makes all manner of noises. Not on purpose.
His "noises" are unconscious vocalizations most of the time. They're akin to vocal tics. The utterances are louder, more pronounced and more frequent the more stressed he is. It takes quite a bit of effort and discomfort to suppress his noises once he feels the urge brewing (if he even catches it in time, because most of the time he isn't even fully aware that he's doing it). He does his utmost to keep them choked down, but to his embarrassment, some grunts and gags always slip through.
Also, often his laugh can sound like "a noise" since it can be more of a gargling wheeze than a proper expression of mirth. His smoking habit hasn't helped the, er, phlegminess of its sound.
A counterpoint to his common stress-sounds is his habit of making quiet humming noises when he's feeling contented and relaxed. He only does it when in exceedingly good spirits - so as you might imagine, he hasn't had much cause to hum in many years.
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ganondoodle Ā· 6 months ago
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(Original art) Xaror, any pronouns, species (?), age (?)
short summary about them; they act as both an antagonist and an ally since they are only really interested in what they want or whats fun to them, they are immortal and call themselves 'death itself' since they have a special connection to souls (being the only one able to communicate with them) and the ability to seperate souls from their bodies in such a way that nothing can harm the soul afterwards their main goal is to .. bother and disturb the 'celestials'*, which they hate, as much as they can, breaking into their palace, freeing prisoners, destroying research, destroying the place, and most importantly, making as many souls unusable to them as possible-
they dont want to destroy the celestials though, they cant fight them anyway and this game of doing 'good' only with the goal of annoying them is their most treasured activity, so Xaror doesnt intend to stop them from killing or hurting anyone, only from harvesting what they are actually after (though Xaror doesnt actually care as little as they think they do about people, and has a soft spot for demons)
most of their appearance is later into the story; Zaphira (the empress) had been in coma and the medical facility she was treated in was destroyed by Shargon (orange eyed demon who acts as her bodyguard for the first part) in an attempt to save her from her estranged relatives taking over her country after they heard of her decline in health, she is believed dead but washes up on the shore of the mountain Xaror resides at years later (it has a reason, too much to write here) and they slowly nurse her back to health, the reason they give for it is that they found their first encounter very fun, thats all (is it?)
(more lore under the cut bc this is already so long .. im trying to keep it short q-q ......... this is stuff i have been working on since i was a kid so uh, some things might be cheesy but i cant change them anymore ..)
just to get some basics out of the way; theres three worlds, the celestials palace, human world and demon world, each are their own planet connected via different gateways
*celestials (possibly not final name, loosely based on angels) are the last remaining "survivors" of their planets demise, when their world died the most powerful among them cannibalized the weaker to sustain themselves until there were only less than 10 left, who each turned into different beings from it and dont resemble their own people much anymore, they built a palace from what was left on their world that protects them from space as its atmosphere collapsed shortly after- however they still needed something to live off; they discover the human world and are delighted to find rather short lived people with powerful souls, the best kind of sustenance for them (now), they aim to herd them like cattle, but a problem arose when it turned out another world has long been in contact with the human world; demons
demons are semi immortal creatures that act as protectors for their world, protection they extended, more or less secretely, to the human world ensuring them a long and secure life- the celestials need them to die at their whim though (demons are few in numbers, hard to kill and rarely have offspring, not an ideal target); as they worked out a plan on how to get rid of demons one of the celestials, Xanthriel (time) grew somewhat fond of people as they spent alot of time in the human world to observe and research them; in the end turning on their own completely, but losing the fight against Uriel (knowledge)
Xanthriel was supposed to be executed for their betrayal, but it doesnt work, instead they are splintered into many parts after a lot of struggle, most body, memory and most strength is one part (ending up as motionless forever bleeding corpse kept locked up in the palace), the rest is some time later gathered together and reforms as a seperate, weak mockery of them, they embody Xanthriels emotion- Xaror, without memory, strangely cut to pieces (hence all the missing limbs and broken halo) but driven by an unstoppable desire to disturb the celestials (they live seperate long enough to each become their own person, at some point Xaror discovers Xanthriels body after all and they merge back together, though as they are now two, Xanthriel only takes over once directly after merging, stays silent for a long time and lets Xaror be themselves, only later revealing that they are there at all .. hiding perhaps- i rarely have specific ideas for voices, but Xanthriels is like, like coarse rocks being violently rubbed against each other, less voice more noise)
(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group
(also, the celestials use Xanthriels blood from the day of their execution to create a plague that nearly wipes out all demons, only the youngest of them survived, effectively robbing them of everything, culture, history, knowledge etc- as demons rarely have children, like a complete restart of their society, they disappeared from the human world, and over time being largely forgotten as actually existing- the celestials wanted them all gone however, so they kept kidnapping them to try and find somethign that would work similarly against the young ones too (and then in general, bc the only usable blood of Xanthriel was from the day of their fall, and that has long since been used up) one of the young ones was Shargon, he was the only one still alive from his group (he wasnt the strongest or special, he was jsut the last in the row and always got the lowest dosage) when Xaror found them in yet another break in into the palace and got him back to the demon world .. where he was promptly blamed for the others that were taken and treated like a pretender/fake/spy bc what he got put through changed his eye color (something that demons cannot change in any form) to one that does not exist among 'real' demons (orange ... notice the inner color of Xarors broken halo? :) ), some even suggesting killing him, but none of them were brave enough to do it (they were all kids still) .. except Eadrya (the big blue-ish one, largely regarded as the strongest demon alive) but Shargon managed to escape, and since then lived largely in isolation- this is part of why he is so hated, and why he starts to spend so much time in the human world after rediscovering the pathway there)
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nenoname Ā· 3 months ago
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honestly??? i still dont know what to do with the idea that there might be a bunch of clone fords out there???? it honestly makes me so unhinged??????
#i'm guessing that they'd be.... hamster like consider how the sev'ral timez clones turned out#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#but honestly if this becomes a thing#then that means stan is the only one without a duplicates story lmao#stan: ....huh. never thought you'd be a deadbeat dad at the age of 18#ford: i'm disowning you.#(something something ford seeing versions of himself lacking any type of agency at all#.....probably would be further convinced that hes cursed somehow tbh :///)#.....oh hey theyd probably can settle the whole 'are they identical or fraternal' debate by having a clone with 5 fingers lmao#altho... how fast do they develop in the tubes#would they appear to be the same age as the stan twins anyway lol#(....would the artists forget that their hair wouldnt floof upwards cos thats a portal incident thing lol)#also is ford's stripe of white hair considered to be a side effect of his metal plate surgery#its a lot paler than stan's hair colour im pretty sure#would the clone fords be hyperobnoxious considering the doc hyping up their talents???#they wouldnt have ford's crippling insecurities and they wouldnt have a stan to help ground them#but they probably wouldnt have ford's fascination with weirdness either#how many other clones are there in general?????#(also rip mabel and the girls not really solving the whole 'that boy band producer is#just gonna keep making more trapped clones to replace em' problem)#truly the ethical problems of this kids tv show skgdgkhfhk#......everyone's reaction to a clone stan really would be 'tHIS IS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE IF YA DIDNT SMOKE???'#guy who clearly started smoking when he was like 13 lmao
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comvi Ā· 5 months ago
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im personally very bad at the whole ā€œyou should have many different characters with very different personalities that showcase different types of peopleā€-thing because i create my characters solely for myself. and whether or not those characters have differing personalities or very similar ones is not in my hands because i just make what i like and use what i get attached to
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nabaath-areng Ā· 3 months ago
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I feel like a terrified animal on Bluesky and I just found out you can't make your profile private so WELP
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free-luigi-mangione Ā· 1 month ago
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We donā€™t know when the fed letter was written - it could have been while he was on the road for 5 days not eating or sleeping well. I think donā€™t think trying to dissect his written syntax is fair when he was clearly not in a good state when he was found.
have you considered that maybe it wasn't written by him at all and the NYPD officers so famous for falsifying evidences actually made that up so they could make a scape goat out of him?? also your assumption works only if you're violating his right to be presumed innocent and are hellbent on painting him as guilty before the trials even start
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yes-im-youtube-kids Ā· 3 months ago
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uh. Is it bad that the three times Iā€™ve ever cried the hardest are
Watching the last episode of my favorite Star Trek
Listening to the Ithaca Saga from Epic
Watching 2x6 of Good Omens
like. Iā€™ve cried less when family members died. is that messed up or is it just me being neurodivergent
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kinokoshoujoart Ā· 1 year ago
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is Rock/Romeo different in the japanese ds cute?
(as someone who isnā€™t fluent) yea in jp romeo sounds like less of a bastard and more like idk. idiot airhead spacey naive kid? the jp version also takes him much more seriously as a love interest option which stresses me out a bit but itā€™s also cute
for the english version of DS and cute natsume sometimes added some arrogant douchey scum bastard zaniness to romeoā€™s lines to idk i guess try and match rock? (who has different speech habits / ā€œrole speechā€ in JP compared to romeo) and of course natsume also just handled a lot of DS lines Weirdly or Not at all
for example
the wedding vow
JP:怌悂恆äø€ē”Ÿé›¢ć•ćŖ恄悈ā™” 怍| ā€œFor the rest of my life, Iā€™ll never let go!ā™”ā€ (cute)
Natume EN: ā€œIā€™ll never leave you. Heh heh.ā€ (troubling)
the divorce fakeout event you get if you neglect your husband (the entire thing)
JP: romeo thinks you hate him and heā€™s sad because you donā€™t communicate, and says goodbye.. he comes back and apologizes and admits he never wanted to leave, he just wants to stay together and you head to sleep (allā€™s well that ends well)
EN: romeock thinks you hate him and he says ā€œis it my looks? my gorgeous looks canā€™t be fading already, can they?!ā€ when he comes back heā€™s like ā€œi know you canā€™t be tired of my looks already. it must just be a phase. well time for some beauty sleepā€ (who the fuck said you were allowed back in)
other than stuff like that, in general iā€™m finding a lot of events make slightly to very more sense in japanese because often it feels like each line of dialogue was either translated too literally into english or they didnā€™t have context, so that also applies to romeoā€™s heart and random events especially later events / events after marriage / rival marriage
the entire yellow heart event didnā€™t make proper sense to me in english compared to japanese but one small silly example from it where (probably) no context translation made the scene 10x funnier is when he has his dramatic confession
in JP he realizes he may have hurt you by joking around and making up stories to hide his feelings and apologizes profusely. protag shakes her head no with a heart over it to be like ā€œitā€™s okay <3ā€
in EN he asks ā€œCan you forgive meā€¦?ā€ and protag does the same gesture. like ā€œNO <3ā€
also neither here nor there but his relationship with Louis feels a lot more familial in japanese. in english i wanted to kick him out the window during the child discipline event. in JP itā€™s more sillyā€¦ (i still want to kick him out the window but more affectionatelyā€¦) she overall sounds a lot more idk timid in EN but in JP sheā€™s rougher and teases and scolds him a bunch (goodšŸ‘). she and her two NEET cats children are a very cute family imo
overall i find natumeā€™s odd additions to the game incredibly funny and enhance the experience in their own way (by making it worse) and i enjoy the more bastardly creature but i also think the more serious and soft romeo is sweet. he still has a lot of ā€œwhat is wrong with his brainā€ moments in both en and jp heā€™s just more douchey in english
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trashcanwithsprinkles Ā· 1 year ago
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You ever wonder if each nation has variations of common phrases? Like fontaine would have "plenty of fish in the sea" but liyue would have "plenty of ore in the mine" or sumeru would have "plenty of leaves on the tree".
genuinely good question that i have no answer to. that sort of implies the regions all developed their phrases on their own, simultaneously, and that there was no cultural mixing at any point. like i could see there having been regional variants, but i do think it's likely the 'fish' variant spread wider by virtue of getting everywhere by boat.
but idk, i'm not knowledgable enough in how that stuff works irl to tell you if it would work like that in genshin
it does sound like a pretty funny idea though
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skunkes Ā· 1 year ago
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How do you feel about Dungeon Meshi (i think i spelt that right) getting more popular? I feel like iā€™ve only seen u post about it but now its popping up a lot more on my twt / tiktok
Mixed feelings! Glad it has an anime now and that ppl are enjoying it, because its really good!
I myself think its annoying when ppl are like "im gatekeeping x media bc its important to me šŸ˜”" so thats not how I feel on the other end. It has impacted lots of ppl so if it can get a bigger reach and impact more, thats good. ^_^
if i did not have the time or energy or resources to read it, I would've hated feeling alienated just bc it became a favorite media of mine after the anime came out
Its more like. Idk.
I know ppl who hope it gets Bigger for more official merch but I just don't want it to get Embarrassing ykwim.
I need it to not get so popular that in a few years I'm hiding the volumes from my shelf because its an embarrassing, beat to death thing thats present in every store, backpack, socks, sweater that looks like characters clothing, funko pops, etc. something i cant even enjoy anymore bc its been wrung dry and overexposed and misinterpreted, "of course u like it EVERYONE likes it!" and now I'm tired of it, and wouldn't want ppl to associate me with it LOL šŸ§æšŸ§æšŸ§æ
#anonymous#skunk mail#its like how i do enjoy jjba but id never wear merch out bc what if some fandom poisoned man makes a kakyoin doughnut#joke to me. which happened in college when any mention of it came up#or like how. (insane evil hater mode) when i see people really into BNHA or SNK still im like šŸ˜¬#can u imagine if those were somehow your favorite series' in the past and now someone who doesnt even go there feels weird about it For You#when you mention it being your fave. LMFAO. i recognize that'll happen regardless due to ppls tastes but ykwim!!! fandom poison!!#the subreddit has already started with unfunny memes šŸ˜­#AND already started with ''um but my shipping??? my Het shipping why no het people shipping?? why no het Canon ship??''#ok this is the other hater part that sounds like the ''im gatekeeping this thing thats already popular šŸ˜”'' crowd#and im already sorry for the wording im gonna use but you KNOWWWWW the type.#i need it to not ever be on the list of anime that harry potter GOT loving normies my age list as their fave šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#SORRY. this is why i cant interact with jjba bc i know my harry potter loving old friend's husband loves it#or like how my friends boyfriend balks at any mention of ''gay shit'' in it. YKWIMMMM. DONT LET IT GET THIS COMMON#we cant let it get to ''i love marvel movies disney harry potter GOT and [ANIME]!'' status šŸ˜­ SORRY.#I need it to get so popular they release a thistle figure im already saving for just in case. But not marvel funko pop lover popular. šŸ˜­
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ganondoodle Ā· 6 months ago
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I don't have art prompts, but I do have cat pictures!
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CAT!!!
Cat pictures for cat pictures :3
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makelovenotlemonade Ā· 3 months ago
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Is journaling worth picking up again? I still have my journal from years ago, and I've had many thoughts that need to be sorted out. But then I would get worried if someone found it and read those thoughts. Hmm
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takami-takami Ā· 1 year ago
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Gonna vent a little in the tags so heads up. Can you hit the like button if you read I'd like to know who reads this thanks fellas.
Not going to go into detail on here but man oh man am I feeling so fucking unwell. Anyway can I get a hug, thanks fellas.
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kavehayati Ā· 9 months ago
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Chappel Roan saying sheā€™s sad sheā€™s demisexual and then thereā€™s me being aroace as a whole like donā€™t you think Iā€™m even more sad šŸ˜­
#not saying sheā€™s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace itā€™s like everyoneā€™s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people donā€™t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because itā€™s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I donā€™t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but itā€™s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when youā€™re in a world which a) doesnā€™t#understand wth aroace is b) doesnā€™t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because theyā€™d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you wonā€™t even be second place you will be last like always#because Iā€™ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I canā€™t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so Iā€™m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them ā€¦#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but itā€™ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the š’»š“‡ā„Æš’¶š“€š“Ž type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me itā€™s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl ā€¦ weā€™re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I canā€™t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what Iā€™m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear Iā€™m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone šŸ˜­#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ā˜ ļø anyways ! rant over :3
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