#that sentence makes sense what do you mean

[uchispeach]

Sycamore Tree (Ch. 3)

Dark! Rafe Cameron x Fem! Reader

Warnings: mentions of underage drinking, dub-con / non-con touching & kissing, obsessive & manipulative behavior, Rafe is a bit scary in this…

This fic will contain dark content: such as dub-con/ non-con and violence. You have been warned.

Almost a week has passed by since you last saw Rafe, still, he had found the way to make himself present throughout the days.

He texted you regularly, checking up on you; making questions like “How are you?”, “Have you eaten yet?”, “Where are you?” and his favorite one: “Who are you with?”

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find his interest sweet; most of the time matching his energy and taking as much interest for his daily life as he did for yours.

The texts were numerous but there were ones more memorable than others, such as the day you finally reunited the courage to ask for Topper.

You still remember his response: “I’m taking care of that, doll” You remember getting flustered by the nickname and almost throwing your phone out of the window.

“Y/N!” Your sister shouted as you continued to submerge yourself on your phone. “Topper hasn’t pressed charges yet…Jennifer told me.” Right, you remembered her mentioning it before. “I know…I think there’s a big chance he won’t” Your eyes left the screen to look excitedly at the brunette, not expecting the frown on her face.

“Pfft” She let out an incredulous sound. “That just means he’s planning something else…something worse than jail.” That took you by surprise, causing you to stand up and reach out for the younger girl. “Why would you think that?” Your face morphed into a worried one.

“You really think he’d let JJ alone out of the kindness of his heart…No Y/N! Kooks always get their way.” You bit your lower lip, holding yourself from revealing the real reason Topper wasn’t bothering the Pogues anymore.

“Let’s just wait for a few more days…There is no need to be paranoid!” You tried your best to sound comforting, either way, Kie sighed out in exasperation, stomping away and leaving you alone to sink in your own guilt.

(…)

“I’m thinking pastel pink…but, what do you think?” You tilted your head while staring at the nail polish container. When silence was all you received, you decided to gaze at the dark haired girl. “Jennie!” She finally looked away from her device. “Hmm?” Her tone confirmed she had no idea what you were talking about.

“You’ve been distracted all afternoon” You pouted while supporting your knees on her soft mattress. “I’m sorry! I’ve been texting with-” Her words were interrupted by the harsh sound of a car’s engine. You noticed her senses being alerted as she adopted an apologetic look. “Please, don’t get mad!”

“When have I ever gotten mad at you?” You questioned as knocks were heard on the ground floor. “Well, you now just might.” The smile following her sentence was awkward.

The knocks intensified and Jennifer didn’t doubt before running down the stairs. “Wait!” You shouted right behind her as you skipped a step or two to get down faster.

The only answer you got from your friend was a fit of giggles, and soon you were both facing the main door. Out of breath you stared at the tall shadow of what seemed to be three guys. “Who did you invite?” The taller girl ignored you, unlocking the door at an inhuman pace.

The wide crystal door was out of the way now, letting in the group of young men. “Hello there, girls!” Kelce greeted you excitedly while raising his busy hands in the air.

Topper followed right behind, wearing an uninterested face while holding a cooler with his right arm. You could almost swear you saw him frowning in annoyance when he saw you in front of him.

Then, there was Rafe; standing proudly with his hands in his pockets, wearing a pair of expensive sunglasses and a predatory grin.

“Hi, doll” His voice was deep and confident, giving you a few goosebumps. “It’s…It’s nice to see you” You spoke shyly, slightly intimidated by his proximity.

He softly chuckled. His strong chest rumbled, showcasing some of the veins in his brawny arms. “I’m delighted too” He joked as you felt the heat of his skin on your nape and his heavy palm squeezing your shoulder. “Now, let’s have some fun” He whispered into your ear.

(…)

The laughs echoed throughout the entire house, and you couldn’t help but let out a muffled giggle as you saw the dark haired boy lifting up your friend and threatening to throw her in the pool once again. “Kelce, stop!”

Even Topper left his grumpy state for a few seconds and decided to smile a little. Both him and the Cameron boy had pulled out a blunt, sharing it and causing you to cough more than a few times.

You were seated on the same beach chair as the blond, forced to support part of your back on his naked chest. He didn’t seem to mind though, going as far as holding you steady by throwing his arm around your neck and over your chest.

Your nervousness levels had reached the roof when his fingertips had accidentally rubbed against your breast; and the blond could feel it exuding from your body:“You’re so tense. Relax.” He looked at you through the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry” You stared back, embarrassed at your own body’s reaction.

“You’re always apologizing.” You weren’t sure if it was a complaint or not, still, you apologized once again. Realization hit you as you saw him smirking harder. “Don’t worry, I like it. It’s cute.” You were growing more flustered by the minute. “Just as cute as this little skirt you’re wearing.” Your heart felt like it was about to explode from how hard it was beating.

You took a deep breath, doing your best to pull your anxiety aside. “And…I like your sunglasses.” You struggled forming a whole sentence.

And with a wave of newfound boldness, you finally took the decision to reach out for the boy’s face.

Your fingertips hesitantly caressed the side of his face before fixing the sunglasses’ crooked position “…But, I like it better when your eyes aren’t covered.”

“Say less” Rafe took you by surprise as he abruptly tore the accessory from him and discarded it to the side like a piece of trash. “Rafe!” You laughed out loud at the shocking display. He sent you a childish look before holding you closer to him.

Once you were able to tame your chuckles down, the intensity of his eyes on your lips made your whole body freeze. Intimacy between you two only grew stronger as his palm positioned itself on your neck’s side, seemingly not getting enough of your body’s warmth.

“Y/N!” The sudden appearance of Jennifer made you pull away from the blond. And as her hands shook you by the shoulders, you couldn’t help but jump out in surprise. “Jen, calm down. You’re going to get her dizzy.” Rafe was quick to intervene, pulling you flush against his chest. “Let’s get in the pool” She said cheerfully while ignoring his words.

“I don’t know-” She shook her head frenetically. “Come on!” You could feel the enthusiasm leaking out of her pores. “…But I don’t even have a swimsuit” You argued, quickly shut down by your friend’s proud response: “I have a solution for that!”

(…)

“Stunning!” The taller girl cheered you up, noticing the way you scanned your body on the full length mirror. The pink checkered bikini had small bows on the straps, immediately making it your first choice.

Jennifer continued praising your figure until a loud noise interrupted her. “Was that glass shattering?” Her face morphed into worry itself. “Guys!” She shouted before leaving the room and running downstairs.

“Alright” You sighed while continuing to dissect your reflection. A ringtone went off, making you lose your focus. “Everything okay?” You said loudly while saving your clothes on the tote bag sitting right next to the phone.

“Hi, Y/N. Yeah…Everything’s pretty great.” Pope sounded relaxed, allowing you to steady your breathing. “You don’t know how comforting it is to hear that.” Relieve leaked through your soft voice, making the boy smile at the other side of the speaker.

“Yeah, I know…I really thought it was over for us.” His voice still had some remains of fear in it. “Don’t say that!…Hey P, just wanted to let you know I’m not with Kiara.” You bit your lower lip while struggling to fit your umbrella in the bag.

“I mean…I called ‘cause I wanted to talk to you.” He shyly revealed. “Oh!…of course. How have you been doing?” There was a short silence before he replied: “I’m just feeling a bit down.” You frowned, quickly taking the device in your hand. “Why?…Did you and the boys fight?” You got no response. “Whatever it is, you know I’m here for you.” You were quick to remember the boy your unconditional support.

Your friend’s answer was overshadowed by the sudden sound of heavy steps. You instinctively looked around, your eyes finally setting on the door. “…we had to hide for days. And I guess it really affected me not being able to step outside, not even for a quick sec’ and- and I missed you too.” The steps stopped, only replaced by a growing shadow peaking under the door.

“Y/N?” You were brought back into the conversation. “I missed you too, Pope.” You hoped the boy didn’t notice the distraction on your tone. “Then, let’s see each other. Tomorrow!” Enthusiasm leaked through the speaker.

“Tomorrow?…We can’t, I’m sorry. Kie and I have to help my parents’ at The Wreck.” The dark haired boy continued to speak, unfortunately, your mind only allowed you to catch on a few words. “What about Friday? We can all meet at The Château.” You interrupted him.

“Oh! That works too.” The steps could be heard again, stopping you from hearing the disappointment in Pope’s voice. “I’m counting the days!” You smiled lightly. “Bye then. Love you!” You said before hanging up.

The commotion of someone bursting inside the bedroom made you jump. “Rafe!” You gripped your chest, feeling your agitated heartbeat under the fingertips. “Rafe?” He moved without saying a word, an indecipherable look on his face.

You felt like hiding when his eyes lingered up and down your figure, taking their time to analyze every centimeter of skin. “I got lost on the way to the bathroom.” His features were still stoic.

“It’s the first door-” “I remember that scar.” Your feet instinctively took some steps back as you saw him moving forward. The wooden floor cracked under his heavy legs.

“That one” He clarified while your back hit the wall. His fingers superficially traced the white horizontal line that decorated your thigh’s side. Rafe took his time redrawing the thing, applying some pressure with his thumb.

“You were trying to help that feral cat.” He squeezed harder, causing you to flinch. The pain made you remember, it was a rainy afternoon at Tannyhill; you had spotted a trembling kitten hanging on from an old tree’s branch.

“Always caring for the ones who don’t deserve it.” You had managed to wrap your frail arms around the poor thing before you had both fallen down. “I never understood it.” His free palm reached out for your jaw, grabbing firmly onto the side of it.

“I guess you’re too kind for your own good.” And as he lightly shook your head, you remembered the fall, the pain of the piece of glass cutting through your skin and the fierce teeth of the feline burying into your arm.

His breath felt overwhelming over your mouth, but even more so as his lips brushed yours in delicate caresses.

You trembled as his other hand stopped toying with your thigh, and reached for the meat of your ass. He gave it a rough squeeze while sinking his teeth into your lower lip.

You tried to pull away from the discomfort but the blond kept you still with his brute force. You knew better than to continue pushing once you started feeling the metallic taste of your own blood.

Tears started forming once you were forced to gasp in pain. Rafe saw it as a chance, slipping his tongue in.

The kiss was like nothing you had experienced before, so passionate and hungry you could almost feel the desperation on your bones.

The Cameron boy explored your whole mouth with his wet muscle, making you go out of breath. His lips moved over yours with experience, while all you could was hold onto his naked chest -hoping not to faint from the lack of air-.

You desperately tried to pull back as soon as your vision grew blurrier, and after a few tugs the blond finally gave in. Your choked coughs echoed through the whole bedroom.

“You taste…so sweet.” He got all over your face, closely analyzing the tears that streamed down your puffy cheeks.

“Hey, don’t cry” He whispered right before licking the salty liquid on your left cheekbone. “I’m sorry” You weren’t exactly sure what you apologized for, still, you felt the need to.

Both of his palms were now squeezing each side of your face, maintaining you on the same spot as he kissed you over and over again.

A/N: I finished writing this at a government office while trying to get a new birth certificate.

[kcwriter-blog]

Why Three Choices Doesn’t Bother Me

I’ve been trying to figure out why only having three choices doesn’t bother me. It should. Some of my favorite theories that I’ve created have to do with who drank from the Well, but, honestly, it doesn’t really matter to me.

I know it matters to many people and their feelings are valid. I’m writing this to make sense of my own feelings, not to invalidate anyone else’s. Here are the main reasons I’m not bothered.

The idea that this is going to be a Solavellan love fest is predicated on a couple of sentences in the IGN article and a screen shot. Both may very well be taken out of context.

For the IGN article, the question about the Inquisitor/Solas relationship was asked by a Solavellan to a Solavellan so the answer reflects that to some degree. I personally think people are reading way too much into it. The Solas romance is simply being used as an example of the most complex relationship the Inquisitor can have with Solas. If you hate Solas and want to kill him, that isn’t complex at all. If you romanced Solas you will have complex feelings because most Solavellans do. They call it Solavellan Hell for a reason.

As the Inquisitor is being brought back all of those different complexities must be addressed. Creative Director Jon Epler has said that no matter how you feel about Solas the end of his journey should be satisfying. Which means if you vowed vengeance, you will most likely get it.

I don’t care if my Inquisitor feels a little responsible for not stopping Solas. A good leader should feel a little responsible. The buck stops here and all that sort of thing. My Inky was a good leader. She doesn’t feel responsible for Solas’ decisions, but she feels she should have seen him for what he was, and she should have been able to stop him.

Then there is the screen shot. It’s just a screenshot. For all we know, when you click on your love interest there is a pop up that asks for a little more info. For example, whether Iron Bull is dead or not. We didn’t see that. Maybe it’s under NDA. I don’t know and won’t know until I get my hands on the CC.

Yes, there are three choices according to the IGN article. It didn’t say whether there were choices nested within those choices. Anyone that has spent time on the Keep knows clicking on a tarot card brings up other tarot cards.

Can I come up with an in-game reason for this stuff? Yes. The Inky your Rook talks to, isn’t your Inky. It’s a spirit masquerading as Inky just like Justinia in the Fade in DAI. How? Well, Inky could have died, Inky could be one of Solas’ memories or since the Fade reflects important events and Inky was important, it reflects them. Devs just said Inky would show up. They didn’t say it would be in the waking world. In that case, the Inky you meet might only have generic things to say about their LI – that would include if you romanced Solas.

I’m not saying that’s what’s going on. I’m saying it’s a direction the writers could go in.

As for a Solas-romancing Lavellan being the default? We don’t know that either. The default Inky is a female elf. That doesn’t mean she romanced anyone. When I played DAI my default Hawk hadn’t romanced anyone either. But she doesn’t have a valleslin! My understanding is that neither does a male elf and, in any case, not all Lavellans removed them. That would have to be considered.

 Again, everyone is reading into things and getting upset over things that have not been confirmed. And the default doesn’t matter to me because I will be customizing my Inky.

Why am I not upset that the decisions made in the previous games won’t carry through. Maybe because I first played DA2 and DAI with the default world states. When I went back in and played with world states, the decisions used didn’t seem to have much impact. I couldn’t stop Anders from blowing up the Chantry, for example. Yes, Alistair was on the throne but so what? That didn’t have any impact on my game. When I played DAI Anora said pretty much the same thing to me in Redcliffe as Alistair said.

So basically, the only reason to miss it would be because I enjoy those little call backs. The thing is, I don’t play just to check up on digital friends. I have an imagination for that. I don’t need BioWare to tell me if I’m right or wrong. I don’t need their validation of my headcannon.

Okay, but what about the big decisions. Well, I want those things to make sense. Let’s take the Well for example. That seemed like it could be a big deal. Solas got upset. Mythal can control whoever drank from the Well. But, Solas getting upset is in character for him. He hates anything being bound and drinking from the Well binds the Inquisitor. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t mean bad things will happen down the road. Solas gets angry about a lot of things.

But what about Mythal? Well Solas’ detractors keep screaming that he killed Mythal. If he did in fact kill her, then who drank from the Well is a moot point. She can’t control anyone.

But she might be in Morrigan. She might but if Morrigan drank from the Well it’s a moot point because Mythal controls her anyway. If Inky drank from the Well, she and Morrigan would have to be in the same room. I have a feeling that’s not going to happen - which again makes who drank a moot point.

But if Mythal is in Solas? It would be out of character for him to use the power of the Well that way. He didn’t use it in Trespasser, if he even had it. He may very well have been controlled by Mythal or the other Evanuris that way. He is unlikely to do it to anyone else. And again, he would have to be in the same room as Inky. As much as we Solavellans want a heart-warming reunion, that might not happen until the end of the game.

In my opinion, anything about who drank from the well would have to be shoehorned into the story. I mean if you were hoping for Solas or Mythal to make your Inquisitor attack Rook, you might be disappointed. I didn’t want that, so I’m good. It’s Rook’s story. I don’t think Inky is getting a huge amount of screen time.

What about Morrigan and her status as a parent or not. She would mention that, right? Sure, if she is in fact all Morrigan. But she is wearing Mythal’s crown indicating she might be Mythal wearing a Morrigan suit. In any case Mythal is going to be more interested in getting revenge on her murderers than discussing her family status with Rook.

But surely, Varric is going to talk about Hawk. Maybe? He didn’t tell my Inky about the real Bianca until she was standing in front of her at Skyhold. Asked point blank about the name of his crossbow, Varric said it’s the one story he would never tell.

And in any case, at the start of the game, Rook and Varric have been together long enough that Rook is Varric’s second in command. I would assume they have had conversations about Hawk in the past, off screen. Varric may still mention things Hawk and the DA2 gang did in the past. He may not mention anything about where they are now, which is what people are really asking for.

But there won’t be any cameos! Why not? Dorian made a cameo in Tevinter Nights. If you romanced him, he would mention Inky. If not, they could be friends or at least have developed a respect for each other over the past 10 years. I’m sure the writers are creative enough to come up with other cameos.

What about codices and other callbacks? Why wouldn’t the Wardens have your Warden’s armor on display in their fortress? Why wouldn’t the Crows have something about Zevrhan? Again, it might not tell you what they are up to now, which is what people really want to know. And there can be cameos and codices related to NPCs where choices weren’t involved but fans remember them fondly.

Another reason I’m not bothered is I had to ask myself why I expect things that happened in the South to have an impact on the North. When I was playing the first two games, what was going on in the North didn’t have a huge impact on the South. I didn’t even know there was a Black Divine. I didn’t know about the Mortalitasi until Cassandra brought it up in DAI.

But what about the parts of the North that are under the sway of the Southern Chantry? I’ve noticed that all the Northern kingdoms are more cosmopolitan. In Rivain you have Dalish settlements and Qunari settlements. I assume they are doing their own thing. It’s like knowing who the pope is but since you are Protestant, it doesn’t really affect you. And I have to assume the South has been busy rebuilding the Chantry in Orlais which also might not have an effect on the North.

It’s been ten years. A lot changes in ten. Do you know it has only been eight years since Trum was elected president? In that time, we’ve had his disastrous presidency, a global pandemic, war in the Ukraine, genocide, etc. and that’s just the stuff that might affect other countries. Each country has their own concerns that we Americans might not really know anything about. Why should Thedas be any different?

I mean Antiva is dealing with the Quanari. They took over Treviso. If I lived there, I wouldn’t care what’s happening in the South. It wouldn’t be on my radar. Yes, there was a hole in the sky but look how quickly Fereldan and Orlais decided things were so back to normal that the Inquisition wasn’t needed anymore.

Maybe I’m being too logical about this, but I just don’t feel the doom and gloom. Also, I’ve played Mass Effect 2, and I remember only having three choices at the beginning of the game. And you know what? I really enjoyed ME2. So, I expect to enjoy this game.

Now what the writers said in response to the outcry was tone deaf. And I am sure PR/Marketing called them on the carpet. However, they have poured their blood, sweat and tears into this game. They know the story. They know what is important. They know if something fits or doesn’t fit. We don’t. We know what we would like to have. You know what? I would have liked DAI to be about the Mage/Templar war but that didn’t happen. I would have liked Samson to be the Inquisition’s Commander not Cullen. I didn’t get that either. I still enjoyed the game.

Bottom line? I trust the writers. People keep talking about the layoffs, but every writer is a veteran of DAI at least with some going all the way back to DAO. There are veteran ME writers on board as well. Story telling is what BioWare does best. I’m looking forward to the game.  

[songbirdseung]

let me know / nishimura riki

where you actually get to be in a relationship with your bias...but maybe you're taking it a little too far (bad yn) genre est. relationship, angst, arguments

riki sat on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the argument that had just taken place between him and yn. they’d been dating for only a few months, but tonight had been the first real argument they’d had. the words still echoed in his mind, swirling around in a mix of confusion and frustration. it wasn’t even about something huge—just a small misunderstanding—but it was the way yn had spoken to him, like he could do no wrong, like he was some perfect figure that was beyond making mistakes. and somehow, that bothered him more than the argument itself.

his thoughts drifted back to the day they’d met, that pivotal moment when everything had changed.

it was at a fanmeet. he’d seen countless fans before, smiled and greeted them all with the same enthusiasm and professionalism he was expected to. but then you came up to him. he remembered your shy smile, the way you nervously fumbled with the small gift you had brought for him. it wasn’t the first time a fan had been shy around him, but something about you was different.

“hi, riki,” you had said softly, your voice shaking a little.

he had smiled at you, trying to ease your nerves. “hey, how are you?”

your eyes had widened slightly, as if you couldn’t believe he was speaking to you directly. “i’m good, just… really nervous.”

he chuckled at that, leaning in slightly as if sharing a secret. “don’t be nervous. i’m just a person, like you.”

you had blushed, clearly not believing him. “but you’re… you’re riki from enhypen.”

that was the moment something had clicked for him. the way you said it, like he wasn’t just a regular person, like he was this larger-than-life figure you could barely comprehend. it should’ve been flattering, and in a way, it was. but at the same time, it made him feel… distant. like there was this wall between him and the real world, between him and you.

but then, you two had talked. just a few more sentences, really, about how long you’d been a fan and how much the group meant to you. but that short conversation had left an impact on him, so much so that he’d done something he had never done before.

he’d pulled a staff member aside afterward, asking them to find a way to get your contact information, but to keep it discreet. something about you intrigued him, made him want to know more, beyond the surface-level interactions of idol and fan. and before he knew it, you were exchanging texts, getting to know each other on a more personal level.

back in the present, riki sighed, his hand running through his hair in frustration. the fanmeet had been the beginning of something special, but now… now he wasn’t so sure.

he thought about all the other moments you’d had together since then. the late-night phone calls where you’d gush about how amazing he was, how talented, how he was unlike anyone else. at first, it had felt good, hearing you talk about him like that. who wouldn’t like being praised? but over time, it started to feel… heavy. like you were seeing someone that wasn’t really him. like you were in love with “riki from enhypen,” not riki, the boy who still tripped over his own feet sometimes or made dumb jokes when he was nervous.

even during the argument, you hadn’t yelled or gotten angry like he had. instead, you’d looked at him with wide, hurt eyes, like you couldn’t believe he was capable of making a mistake, like he wasn’t allowed to get upset or frustrated because he was supposed to be perfect.

“riki, it’s okay,” you had said, your voice soft and placating, like you were trying to calm a storm. “you don’t have to apologize. i know you didn’t mean it.”

and that’s when it hit him. that’s what was bothering him so much. it wasn’t just that you were brushing off the argument—it was that you weren’t letting him be human. you weren’t letting him fall, make mistakes, or be flawed. and it was exhausting, feeling like he had to live up to some impossible standard that you’d built around him.

he thought back to other moments. the time he’d tripped while you were out on a casual walk, and instead of laughing it off with him, you’d acted like it hadn’t happened, quickly changing the subject as if it was beneath him to stumble. or the way you’d once scolded him for talking too freely with other girls during a fan event, but then immediately apologized, saying, “i just don’t want anyone to think they could take you away. you’re too special.”

and he was special to you—he knew that. but the way you saw him, the way you put him on this pedestal, it made him feel distant. it was like no matter how much time you spent together, there was always this invisible barrier between you. you were still looking up at him, and he didn’t want that. he didn’t want to be this untouchable figure. he just wanted to be riki.

riki, who could mess up, who could say the wrong thing, who could fall. and still be loved for it.

he stood up from his bed, pacing the room as his mind whirled. he knew he had to talk to you about it, but how could he even explain it? how could he tell you that he didn’t want to be the version of himself you saw? that he needed to be seen as more than just an idol in your eyes?

grabbing his phone, he scrolled through the recent messages between you two. there were sweet, affectionate texts, cute goodnight messages, and even the occasional playful banter. but reading them now, he could see it. the way you always praised him, always reassured him that he was perfect, that he could do no wrong. it was suffocating.

he typed out a quick message, his fingers shaking slightly as he hit send:

“can we talk? i need to tell you something.”

it wasn’t long before your reply came through, and just like that, riki’s heart was racing.

he knew this conversation was going to be difficult. he knew it might hurt you to hear that he wasn’t the version of himself you’d built up in your mind. but it had to be done. because if you couldn’t see him for who he truly was—the good, the bad, and everything in between—then this relationship would never work.

taking a deep breath, riki sat back down, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. he didn’t know how you would respond, but he hoped, deep down, that you would understand. that you would still love him, even after he fell off the pedestal.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello. I'm writing fanfiction and I'm very thankful for your blog, it is helping me alot.

So one problem I'm finding in my writing is that paragraphs don't feel "flowy", they feel "choppy" and dull. Like there isn't a flow between the sentences, and it feels like they are shoved together. Here are examples from my writing to make it clearer:

1.In his 25 years of life, Sara was the only woamn to occupy his heart and mind. Every woman looked dull in comparison to the divine torrent that was her. She had full possesion of him, and she didn't even know it.

2.And today was his first event as a teacher. The event was taking place in 'X school' this year, but he was sure next year it will be in 'Y school'. He trained his students well enough to beat 'Y's' students.

Did you feel what I'm talking about? Or is it all in my head?

Writing Feels Choppy/Not Flowing

It's hard to tell overall flow from a few snippets, and when a paragraph is separated from the rest of the narrative, it can be difficult to tell whether something is an issue or is clarified in the surrounding context. Here are some potential issues, though, if it helps to give you an idea of what to watch out for to make things feel less clunky. Just keep in mind, this is my subjective interpretation with limited context, so use your best judgment if it feels it doesn't apply:

Paragraph #1 - "In his 25 years of life, Sara was the only woamn to occupy his heart and mind." This is probably clearer with the surrounding context, but as a snippet, going from the pronoun "his" to the name "Sara" was immediately confusing. But, as long as it's clear who "he" is prior to this sentence, it's fine.

"the divine torrent that was her..."

This is certainly an evocative description, but without any context it feels a little clunky. As long as there is context for why he'd think of her as a "divine torrent" and what that means to him when he describes her that way, it should be fine.

"She had full possession of him, and she didn't even know it."

I see what you're trying to do here, but "full possession" feels a bit heavy in a paragraph that otherwise feels like it's trying to be romantic. So, I think that lack of tone agreement makes it feel a bit clunky. If that's your intention, to illustrate a love that has obsessive and even dangerous qualities, that's fine. Otherwise, you might consider rewording to something that fits the romantic tone a bit more, something like: "She held his soul completely, yet she didn’t even realize it." Paragraph #2 - "And today was his first event as a teacher. The event was taking place in 'X school' this year, but he was sure next year it will be in 'Y school'. He trained his students well enough to beat 'Y's' students."

Using a present tense word like "today" or "now" in the past tense is tricky. It doesn't work great here because we go from the present tense "today" to past progressive "was taking place" to past "he was sure" and "he trained," so it's kind of all over the place. Also, using both "today" and "this year" to refer to the event in question is confusing. Also, it's confusing that he's at the event at X school today, but he's focused on his students beating the students of Y school next year, at an event that hasn't even been decided for sure yet. You could shore things up a bit by doing something like:

"Today's event, which was his first as a teacher, was taking place at X school. They had the best team in the state, so he knew the odds of his students winning were slim. He was sure next year the event would be held at Y school, and he was confident his students were trained well enough to beat Y school's team." So, some general tips:

1 - Make sure the sentence/paragraph makes sense within the surrounding context. 2 - Make sure you have tense agreement within the sentence/paragraph. 3 - Make sure your evocative descriptions have meaning.

4 - When using pronouns rather than names, make sure the subject (who the pronoun belongs to) is clear.

5 - If your character should be focused on the present events, make sure their thoughts and feelings are relevant to what's happening.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

I'm actually curious now. What would AK! Jason do if reader wasn't living in Gotham? I mean, if I were them I would leave the city considering everything that has been happening there. Would they let them stay wherever they are or would they still hunt them? (Idk if that's the right word. It feels like it)

Anyways! Love your work! Take care!

Oh, nonnie, good question. I feel like I have multiple answers for this. It really depends on if I'm answering from the perspective of one of my fics or if I'm only using the game as a standpoint. (Does that make sense?)

But I think the real answer, and probably not the one anyone wants, is that he would leave you alone. If you had it in you to leave Gotham, to build a new life for yourself away from the grime and filth, he wouldn't drag you back into it.

A big motivation for AK, my version of AK at least, is that he's convincing himself you're safest with him. That for you to be alone in Gotham could be a death sentence, that him stalking you or kidnapping you is protecting you.

I don't think AK ever expected his plan to gas the entirety of the eastern seaboard to work, but he'd probably post a few men by your home in case it did. Other than that, if you're free of Gotham, you're essentially free of him. (He does monitor you from a distance. Just in case)

I think the only exception to that would be if he had a falling out with someone who knows his identity. (like Slade) So he jumps to the (probably accurate) conclusion that you're in danger because of it and goes to get you.

I'm gonna say in A Gilded Cage, though, he's already so paranoid that AK just scoops you up in case someone does ever try to use his identity against him. No one can blackmail him with you if he's already keeping you under lock and key.

[shadow-pixelle]

WIP game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

@bloggerspam did an open tag with the word 'SPAM', so here I am!

S- Braided Fates (DCxDP)

“So why do you all keep calling us ‘your Highness?’” Sam asked Fright Knight, who seemed to be looking at them with something like amusement. Tucker and Danny immediately stopped smirking at each other, turning to look at Fright Knight curiously. The ghost tilted his head. “You are King Phantom’s partners, are you not?” All three of them went red. “What-” “I mean-” “We’re not-” They looked at Danny. Danny looked at them. He shrugged. “The betting pool in Amity is there for a reason.” “Yes, that reason being that Val wanted to profit off our misery.” Sam grumbled, like crossing her arms and looking away would hide her blush.

P- An unnamed FNaF fic that's very slow going

“Perhaps.” Gregory frowned. That didn’t sound confident at all, and if the engineer lady had known them for as long as he thought- she was the head engineer, which probably meant that she’d been here for a long time, and apparently she’d also designed their batteries, too- then Freddy should have more confidence that she wouldn’t hurt them. Or damage. Whichever it was. Either way it didn’t make any sense, especially not with how nice Engineer Chandler was being to Freddy, calling him nicknames and things. Which meant Freddy was probably hiding something.

A- Swooping (DC)

All of it meant he had a good backup for trouble. With a huff that was half a sigh, he turned away from the little vigilante- hero, maybe, he couldn’t remember how folks out of Gotham did that kinda thing- after making sure the boy wouldn’t be waking up for a bit. Not just cause of what he’d done; the kid smelled sick, and he hadn’t looked anything like he’d expected from someone doing hero stuff, especially not someone who was out hunting for one of Gotham’s big ‘problems’. But the kid was out cold, unconscious against the wall, and Waylon’d made sure to strip his obvious weapons off of him so if he did wake up or was faking it he’d not be able to cause problems. Then he went and called the Colony. If nothing else, they’d want to know about the new kid running around trying to do hero stuff in the city. Hopefully it wouldn’t turn out like Batgirl had; Waylon kinda liked this kid’s guts. But at least if it did the kid wouldn’t be running into Gotham’s sewers after the local lizard beast half cocked, without backup, and sick.

M- Maskless (Star Wars/Hollow Knight)

Myrna was more reorganising the storage room for the sake of avoiding his rage than out of an actual need to organise anything. It didn’t mean it was working, unfortunately, but it could at least let him pretend. It’s methodical enough that he can do it without thinking, which means that of course all he can do is think. Exactly the thing he doesn’t want to do. Lurk is living up to their Name, sitting on the edge of one of the shelves and watching silently. There’s probably another Shade hovering in the shadows somewhere. The company would be nice, if it wasn’t for what was causing it. It’s been a week. Myrna’s still fuming.

'P' was a struggle, seriously. I also didn't realise how often I start sentences with an 'A'.

Anyway, @shootingstarpilot, @kalicofox and @greentrickster, have some fun with this if you'd like! This is an open tag as well, so if you see it feel free to come join. Your word is ECHO.

[veronae-buddie]

WIP Tag Game

Tagged by the lovely @queerweewoo! Thank you, this one is very fun!!

RULES: you will be given a word. then you share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

The word is SLOWLY. The fics are all 9-1-1 Buddie.

S

Straightening up, Eddie swung his arms behind his back and said, “I’m … sensing some … hostility? We’ve just met, how can I have pissed you off?”

From "Ballet Buddie"

L

“Life pack,” Hen said, moving around Chimney with a pair of scissors. She cut Eddie’s undershirt open and pressed the pads from the defibrillator to his chest as Chimney started chest compressions.

From "Eddie's Dead" (don't worry, he won't stay dead)

O

Oblivious to the smile touching his mouth, Eddie rubbed one finger along his lip as he hung the phone up and placed it on the table. Something warm and fluttering filled his chest and he breathed into it as he turned his gaze back to Carla, seated beside him with her hands curled around a glass of wine.

From "Forever Sleeping Together"

W

Whatever hurt-filled words Eddie had been about to say, Buck was saved from hearing when a delicate knock echoed through from the front door.

From "Missing Eddie"

L

Leaning on the counter, an interested grin slid across Buck’s mouth and he whispered, “Now, who the hell is that?”

From "Buckley Cafe"

Y

“You circle around saying what you really feel, what you really mean. You flirt and have dates that aren’t dates, and share trains of thought that no one else can follow. You’re each other’s emergency contact even though you share the same dangerous job. You’re a couple, Buck. You just need to make it official. And then you can enjoy all the yummy things that couples do.”

From "Baby Trapped"

Tags under the cut! Your word is CASHEW.

@shortsighted-owl @disasterbuck @serensational @blue-winged-boy @emotionallyencumbered

@gnoeltop @inell @verdimundi @darkrose6578 @littleblackraincloudofcourse

@deliriousbean @idealuk @oldfangirl81 @ronordmann @shealwaysreads

@queenofthesydrianites @marvelgirl9326 @graendoll

[gaminedyke]

any time i do something slightly out of my comfort zone i wonder if this is the end and i'm a lawless man i'm a final girl i'm a drunk driver. basically i get scared

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[perilegs]

ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion

[ickypuppi3]

steve “i’m not like you” harrington and billy “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” hargrove

[caterpillarinacave]

my world has been flipped over

[tenrose]

I gave up, the website is too shitty, literally nothing functions. Idk if the payment really failed or if those suckers are just not able to properly write 'it's sold out'

Now that I'm slightly annoyed...

I'm gonna rant.

First of all theaters can go fuck themselves if they are not able to provide proper services. The cinema I'm talking about in particular is not indie by the way, it's one of the biggest chains here (fuck you UGC) so the bare minimum they could do is provide with actual functional website so people can actually use it and make reservations. Don't even get me started on the price. 11,60€ for me to fucking go out and see people???? And we know seats aren't as good as they used to be in the past. Don't know about the snack prices, I bet it costs two kidneys.

That being said...

FUCK STREAMING PLATFORMS TOO OR EVEN ESPECIALLY

obviously I ain't paying for any. I won't pay for 10 different platforms, and especially not Amazon they can literally rot in hell. Don't even get me started on netflix. I used to pay sometimes back then. Honestly they had something. They used to do an actual effort and trying to show different stuff. They let creative direction to their writers. We wouldn't never have sense8 with today mentality tbh. Everything is just a reboot, a book adaptation emptied from its substance, a reboot, and book adaptation a reboot, a book a- you see the thing. I mean I shouldn't be bitching as pretty much never watch anything new for years so what do I know? I mean I would like to, but every time I watch a trailer, I'm tired just by watching it. Latest exemple I'm thinking about is the three body problem... Like having read the book just watching the trailer you could see the Americanism all over it... For a chinese book. And it's the problem with everything. I mean American TV shows have always be like this, maybe being younger I wasn't aware back then idk. But it feels so empty, so soulless? They can give me all the diversity they want, that doesn't change that it's still empty. And for TV shows (actually I'm talking more specifically about TV shows cause I'm not a big cinephile so I don't have the legitimacy to criticise) I know it's because of that stupid ass 8 episodes format. I've already talked about it. But it's literally draining the whole industry imo. Also writers clearly having little creative freedom since they have to make stuff that sells. But yeah, TV shows lasted physically and in memories because we were watching them slowly instead of this boulimie stuff we have now. Everything is like consume, forget, consume forget and pay shit ton of money.

And I'm thinking I am actually not built for this shit. I felt so burn out not being able to enjoy anything. So now I don't even try. I don't try new shows cause it's not worth it even when there's an actual good one. Because it's gonna be cancelled anyway. Who wants to emotionally invest in shows that get cancelled (I did so many time).

But when I do.

Be sure I will pirate the shit out of it. None of these industries deserve our money.

To finish on a positive note, if there's one thing I'm really happy for in the end. It's books. Sure the book industry is oversaturated too and there's ton of shit to criticise too (but I won't here). But it's so vast there are books everywhere for everyone, and even if tomorrow not a single book would be published (which I don't believe in), there are enough books for my entire life anyway. But yes books, even if formatted too (looking at us french snobs with our novel format), are like the only place writers can still let go of their creativity. Plus you can have cheap books (I'm starting to get there) and obviously free books thanks to libraries, and also you can pirate books too. Yes I pirate books too but tbh it doesn't even compensate how much I spend buying books so I'm not feeling guilty and I either pirate popular books or old books (if they are really old it's free anyway). But yes if you go out unlike me go buy books if you have money, to your local bookstore, or if you can't library is your way.

Reading is my anchor ⚓

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild"; "a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"

and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place

"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death

[broke-on-books]

☕

The live action Scooby-Doo movies?

I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions

So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.

Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)

The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.

Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]

AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).

And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.

And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.

TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.