#that saturday is gonna suck

[shoutsindwarvish]

just scheduled my covid booster + flu shot for next friday! 😎

[irishmammonagenda]

Belphie blinks at you in greeting as you slide under the covers with him, only humming gently when you hold onto him for dear life. Dark indigo eyes noticing with interest that you haven't even started getting ready for RAD yet---not that he was one to talk---the Avatar of Sloth merely gives you a lazy smirk and wraps his tail around you under the covers as you whisper a strangled out, 'hide me'.

He nods slowly, his throat feeling much too heavy, and he himself feeling much too lazy to use his words. A pale hand pulls the covers over your head, just in time too, as Lucifer bursts into the room, ruby red eyes shining like a wolf on the hunt.

"Have you seen MC?" The eldest asks, paying no mind to the usual sound of morning chaos coming from the rest of the house.

Belphie lets out a strangled, lazy, "Nope." all the while his tail tightens around you.

Lucifer shakes his head. Looking at the you shaped lump under the covers. Merely pinching the bridge of his hooked nose and sighing, "MC. If you wanted a break from RAD, you could've just asked instead of opting to hide."

You pop out from under the covers, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, Belphegor's arms wrap around you from under the covers, his eyes sleepily tracing the features of your face as you speak.

"Right.....yeah. Sorry Luci?" You tilt your head, the Avatar of Pride's eyes soften a fraction.

"Be sure to catch up on your schoolwork, we only have room for one academic failure in this house and I'm afraid that spot has permanently been reserved for Mammon." Lucifer says sternly, though you can see the faintest upward quirk of his lips.

"Aye aye Captain." You nod, sleepily saluting the eldest.

"Belphegor."

Belphie turns to look at his eldest brother.

"Just because MC has a day off school, it doesn't mean you have one. Your uniform's hanging up by your desk." The ebony-haired demon walks out of the room.

"...Diavolo fucking dammit."

[firehose118]

“We’re just helping each other out on a long shift. It’s not gay,” Sal says into the air of the empty station bathroom as he wraps a hand around Tommy’s dick, and then in the same breath, “No one can ever know.”

Tommy nods, too far gone in the fantasy-come-to-life of what’s happening to dwell on the irony there. He’ll pick that apart later. For now, he has what he’s craved for so long within his grasp, he just has to reach out and take it.

He gets his hand on Sal’s dick in return and revels in the way it twitches under his touch. Tommy wants to moan with how good it feels to touch another man like this, to be touched by one. But he has to pretend this is friend stuff—normal straight guy shit, not the stuff of waking wet dreams—or else it will be taken away from him.

{finish on ao3 or continue below}

Tommy tries to match Sal’s pace: hard, fast, efficient. He thumbs through the liquid gathering at the head, twists his hand on the upstroke, but doesn’t let himself linger—even as his body is screaming for him to slow down and savor it. This might be his first and last chance to have this.

The way Sal is looking right at him is unexpected. He’d thought Sal would look away, pick a tile on the wall and stare at it, pretend this isn’t happening, but no: Sal is in it, studying Tommy’s face in that passive slack-jawed way of his. Tommy keeps his expression carefully neutral but he’s worried even that will give him away.

Sal’s mouth drops open on a silent moan when Tommy’s thumb drags along the vein on the underside just right, so Tommy does it again harder. He wants Sal to like this. He wants Sal to want to do this again.

Tommy is losing focus quickly. Sal isn’t working as hard to impress him, isn’t pulling out different moves to see what he likes, but his hand is big and warm and calloused and masculine around Tommy’s dick and it really doesn’t need to do anything else to have him panting and leaking.

He’s thought about this so many times and the reality of it is even better than he could have imagined. Every bit of energy he’s not using to give Sal the handjob of his life he’s putting into not whining and humping Sal’s hand like a dog.

He takes half a step forward before he can stop himself; needing to be closer. Sal huffs but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t step back.

They’re so close to each other now that Tommy could wrap his hand around both of their dicks and jerk them off like that. He knows it would feel good, wants it more than anything in this moment, but it would be a definitive step over the ‘not gay’ line into territory he’s not sure Sal will follow him willingly. It’s this or nothing, so Tommy chooses this.

“You close?” Tommy asks. He is. He can already feel it rising in his stomach, his balls, licking along his spine. He wants Sal to come first, to hide whatever his own orgasm is going to look like in the mists of Sal’s pleasure.

Sal nods. His face is inches away from Tommy’s and he looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.

When it happens, Tommy feels it. He doesn’t know why he didn’t expect to—he always feels the pulsing of his own dick as he comes—but to feel another man’s dick twitch and spasm as it shoots warm into his hand has Tommy biting back a moan so quickly he chokes on it.

Sal comes with a low groan and Tommy is helpless to follow. For as long as he’s wanted this—wanted Sal—he thinks he could’ve come from that sound alone, but the way Sal’s big hand tightens on the next few strokes is the last thing he needs to send him hurtling over the edge.

Tommy’s forehead drops to Sal’s shoulder without permission and he keens high in his throat as the pleasure rips through him. It’s easily the best orgasm he’s had in years and he’s instantly terrified of what that means.

He shoves it down. Later. He’ll think about that later.

Tommy pants, coming back to himself, and he gives himself two more seconds of physical contact with Sal before he pulls back completely.

They both lean against the hard tile wall of the bathroom and catch their breaths.

“Good?” Tommy asks, giving a joking half-smile. He knows the answer but it seems like a safe enough way to start talking again.

“Jesus, kid,” Sal laughs. “Yeah. It was good. Where the fuck’d you learn how to do that?”

He grabs some paper towels to wipe his hand off, then gives them to Tommy to do the same.

“Lonely childhood,” Tommy says. It’s true but it’s not the answer. “Dad had a lot of porn mags he’d leave around. I spent a lot of time jerking off. Figured yours doesn’t work too differently from mine.”

That look is back in Sal’s eyes like he wants to say something, but he stays quiet again. He just shakes his head and laughs.

Sal walks towards the door but stops before he opens it. “Give it a few,” he says. He doesn’t look back at Tommy but he has a small smile on his lips still. Tommy takes that as a win.

Sal leaves and Tommy is left alone with the enormity of what just happened. It was good. It was hot. Sal clearly doesn’t hate him, isn’t disgusted by him. He seemed almost… intrigued.

Tommy will sort out the shame and elation he feels swirling inside of himself like oil and water later.

For now, he washes his hands, splashes some water on his face, and gets back to work.

[mikesbasementbeets]

byler in every episode -> 1.04. the body

[claudiaeparvier]

disgusting the way I have to wait an entire week for a new episode of the vampire show

[red-might-be-dead]

can more people join me in calling it suck off saturday please or is that too far

[nehswritesstuffs]

HEART PIRATES WEEK 2024 - Day 2 of 9

I told myself last year that I was going to participate in Heart Pirates Week this year, and by thunder I'm going to participate in Heart Pirates Week!

Day Two: Shachi - Celebration

472 words; this prompt’s potential sfw disqualifier is swearing, but it’s no different from what you’d hear in middle/high school, so there’s that; this came so late bc I was very cocky and did not finish the draft in time for the whirlwind of the past few days I’ve had so my apologies; still very, very not beta’d, so don’t be surprised if this tweaks slightly later

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He did it. The bastard actually fucking did it.

Okay, sure, he’d had his doubts about the plan from the get-go, something that had seemingly been cobbled together on a whim but Shachi knew was much older than that. It made sense that people who became Warlords did so for their own reasons, and not all of them pleasant, but after what Blackbeard had pulled in Impel Down and Marineford, one would think that the military was about to vet their candidates a bit better…

…and as it turned out, the bullying that Law did was barely even necessary. They were getting so strapped for bodies in the seats that they were more than willing to negotiate.

“Way to go, Captain!” Shachi cheered, knocking his tankard into his crewmates’ as they finished another toast. “Now we’ve got a universal pass to do whatever we want!”

“No, we don’t,” Law reminded him, the man sourly bunched up at the end of the table. Most of the crew was there and it was clearly making the room feel way too small. “As long as we don’t piss off the Government while doing shit for them, we’ve got a conditional pass. I still need to build the clout to get to where we need to go.”

“Always such a grump,” Shachi huffed. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Law scowled.

“Always being gloomy before you know what the weather is—you haven’t changed since we were kids.”

“Can you blame me?”

“Yes.” Shachi stood and, after finding his balance, caught Penguin’s eye on the other side of the mess hall. “Oi! Peng! Cap’s got a lot to celebrate, doesn’t he?!”

“What… you mean more than strong-arming himself into the Shichibukai…?”

“Duh… like… literally everything!”

“Alright,” Law sighed, “you’ve had too much to drink.”

“Pshaw—as if,” Shachi scoffed. He threw an arm around Law’s shoulders and leaned into him. “I’m only four drinks in. I can go all night.”

“Can you not go while hanging all over me?”

“…and miss embarrassing you? No fucking way.” He gave his captain—who by all accounts was basically his younger brother at this point—a shit-eating grin. It was easy to imagine they were teenagers again, fresh off their first “fundraising” raid and so high on adrenaline they were all practically vibrating out of their skin.

…but now? While they had a Warlord to celebrate? The crew was going to fucking party until they couldn’t anymore and nothing was going to stop them, Shachi was going to make sure of it. He downed the rest of his beer and took his weight off Law. “Who’s up for another round?!”

Everyone in the mess hall, aside from Law, cheered. Shachi could see his captain’s face grow a little darker in blush and he knew he fucking nailed it.

[7hyein]

read tags ;--;

[doodle17]

Can someone help me try to figure out a way to explain to my parents that 1: the chances of me getting copywrited for making fanart is pretty low, 2: that if I just make original content/oc stuff I'm probably NEVER going to get as popular as I would like and never receive ANY attention

[girlv1rgin]

forget abt that other thing nd come hide from the wind w me

[sophiesonlinediary]

i thought it was just gonna be the two of us but she invited everyone :/

[keeps-ache]

if i could be any little creature on the earth i'd be one of those little robot-dog toys that kind of suck

[stabbyfoxandrew]

guys i've capped my inbox for now (i probably won't reopen it) because i have 12 asks in there right now. here's the numbers though in case you're curious!

angel neil: 4 arson neil: 5 mafia front: 2 vampdrew: 1

[possum-tooth]

PAY RAISE FOR WORKING SATURDAYS??

[anxiousbabybird]

Only click if you want tmi

When your favorite vibrator dies permanently and you’re just starting ovulation 😭

[wickedhawtwexler]

apartment hunting is so stressful :(