#that roommate was shunned by my others for like an hour

[redhead-batgal]

My roommate: So whose Jason Todd again?

Me: *visibly vibrating in excitement decked out in probably too much Red Hood merch* I am so glad you asked!!!

[v3nusxsky]

Okay so this this my first time requesting so I hope I’m doing this right. I was wondering if you could do a Morticia x reader agere plot? I was thinking the reader is Morticia’s roomate who is a little but hides it very well afraid that she would be shunned. Maybe it’s been a stressful week and the reader has just been getting picked on a lot and just wants to curl up and slip. So the reader goes back to the dorm and slips. That’s where Morticia finds them and finds it the most adorable thing ever and just plays with them and let’s them relax. If you can’t do it totally understand.

Little love| Agere

*Authors note~ missed my Agere prompts I hope this is okay for you all*

Trigger warnings~ age regression r bullying for r

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Your roommate just so happened to be the most popular girl in Nevermore and that scared you, until you met her other roommate Larissa Weems. The three of you got along well despite your initial fears but you most certainly tried to keep your regression from them both. Morticia was having visions which stole a lot of Larissa’s time, it made it easier for you to hide. Larissa was a shapeshifter like yourself, you could tell by her appearance and you were sure she could tell by yours but not ever daring to bring it up to you. Knowing that these two girls had such a power and status in Nevermore and that they could possibly shun you and make the next five years of your life hell, you fought to keep your secret.

Exams combined with some asshole students and their loud opinions on you were stressing you out to the max. You couldn’t process what was happening most of the time because you were fighting off the urge to slip. When you allowed yourself to regress your shapeshifter abilities kicked in and you often shifted into a child body that matched your mindset. In fact you decided to give them a name so it felt more comfortable for you. A strange technique but bc you loved to name things you couldn’t help but search for the name you felt fit the little. Shifting allowed you to explore and express just how you were feeling and what you felt you needed in that moment.

Today was particularly stressful and their comments seemingly bothering you more than they normally would. You only made it to your third class of the day before you felt Emery wanting to slip. You immediately excused yourself from the class and hurried back to your dorm room. You thought you’d be safe now, it was school hours and you knew that both your roommates would have classes so the room would be free for you to use and allow yourself the relief of slipping.

Morticia hadn’t been feeling well all morning and truthfully wanted to go and rest. Gomez had convinced his love that he would cover for her and she needed all the rest and care, he would check on her later on. The dorm would be quiet so she could simply go and sleep in a hope of sleeping off the frustrating symptoms off, all until she spotted Emery crying on your bed.

“Little one” she murmured confusion lacing her words but not wanting to upset the almost two year old anymore than they already were. The fear in Emery’s little eyes truly broke the raven haired girls heart. “Well you’re not Rissa are you darling?” Emery shook her head as her curls flew with the motion. “You’re a little?” The simple question seemed to upset the little child further as she began to tumble off the bed and panic, searching for a place to hide.

Morticia was confused but her instincts kicked in, forgetting how rough she was feeling she searched the room for something to coax you to her, she laid her eyes on simplistic teddy bear that had been worn with age. Quickly scooping the stuffie up she called to the little girl and bent down to her level, “is this yours cutie?” The little girl immediately nodded and outstretched her hands, clenching and unclenching her little fists mumbling “low lows!”

“Come here cutie” she whispered handing you the bear and leaving her arms outstretched which caused you to run into them and snuggle up to her. Your little fists rubbing at your eyes, “oh my darling are you tired?” The child offered a nod and sleepy yawn before snuggling more into Morticia. “Let’s lay down darling, want to lay on my bed?” Emery nodded and whimpered shyly, “please momma.” Morticia’s heart swelled with joy at the little name, in your sleepy state she wasn’t sure how much Emery actually understood what she said but she’d take care of the child as if she was her own. You both settled on her bed, Emery resting her little head above Morticia’s heart and her little fist clutching at the onyx coloured dress.

That was how Larissa Weems stumbled into her dorm to find the pair of you a few hours later, snuggled up as morticia had holding you securely to her side. She wanted nothing more than to be the one holding the adorable child, who looked and absolute copy of yourself. Prehaps one day you’d trust her with Emery too.

[fluffalpenguin]

IT'S HERE AT LAST @arcvmonth AU DAY YEAHHHH never mind that this post is late

I managed to stuff 10 AUs into this bad boy, so this is a image AND text heavy post, be warned! (I genuinely hope you enjoy the ride)

Not arranged in any particular order, and hyperlinks lead to doodles I've posted on Twitter unless stated otherwise!

(CW: imagery of drug use in the first one and mentions of violence in another)

1. Triad AU

It's the 1800s and everybody* does crimes! (*Not everyone)

Raised in the Fusion Society from an early age, Serena has always had mixed feelings about the child trafficking that her foster father's involved in. One day, she comes across a red-haired street performer that brings dazzling smiles of unbridled joy to children and decides to cut ties with her current life. As she eludes the men sent to retrieve her, she runs into who but the leader of a rival organisation, the Lancers!

This holds the distinction of being the only au that I didn't include pawn in some way or another because I can't figure out where to fit Yugo in (probably why my interest in it has somewhat fizzled out already lmao)

I wrote a short ~500 words fic of Serena announcing her departure to Dennis, Sora, and Yuri (conceptually the latter perpetually seethes about her audacity throughout the length of this au because that's funny)

2. Vampire Knight AU

Vampires and humans learning to co-exist in a boarding school is a genius set-up, thank you Hino Matsuri for giving me undying brainrot (pun intended) through creating this (albeit cursed) manga

Turned into a vampire against his will during a brutal massacre, Yugo curses his fate to be a blood-sucking monster every waking hour. And if his life didn't suck hard enough already, he's also forced to partner with (be the research subject of) a human with a set of morals worse than the most depraved vampire he's ever met. At least that lessens his guilt about drinking blood, because if anyone deserves to be a juice box, it's that smug purple-headed bastard! Life at the academy revolves around humans attending Day classes and vampires attending Night classes, but Yugo begs the headmaster to allow him some semblance of normalcy (denial) by letting him attend the Day Class, in which he dozes off often. Luckily, his roommate, Yuto, is there to poke him awake just enough times for him to pass his classes. Like his cousin Yuri, Yuto is also paired with a vampire through the latter's term in the academy. As one of the last surviving pure-bloods in the world, Yuya is uncomfortably used to his fellow vampires looking at him with undiluted reverence while fending off dubious intentions. The two quickly form a close relationship, a stark contrast to the other two boys that they share a house with.

I'm still deciding between having Yuri and Yuya being seatmates or not because both have their pros and cons (Also Yoko is a human, but is also the Night Class teacher; Yuya takes a liking to her pretty quickly)

Yuto, Shun, and Kaito are part of the school's Disciplinary Squad made out of vampire hunters-in training that patrol the grounds after dusk (to make sure their vampiric classmates aren't running around charming guileless humans into being supper) and Yuri, of course, despite being human has asked his beloved Papa for permission to attend Night Class in order to observe his research subjects in their natural habitat! (He unnerves everyone, but they don't disturb him because the last time someone tried they learnt first-hand that he has an taser whip to protect himself)

3. OCG AU

I've recently posted (how recent is recent?) a compilation post of doodles for this AU then I realised I never talked about the plot so

Childhood friends Yuto, Shun, and Ruri are training hard to join the elite ranks of the Dogmatikan Order. When Ruri doesn't return from her Ascension ceremony, the two defy sect rules to search for her. Yuto comes across a mysterious red-headed boy incarcerated within the inner confines of the Order's keep and...

I know it doesn't look like it but pawn is more of a background ship in this story, counterpart and swift take center stage (because Yuto and Rin are the main characters to me)

When I cooked this up in 2021, I was so desperate to escape from my schoolwork that I ended up making an 15+ chapter outline, here's an excerpt

(Just kidding I do have half a prologue and one chapter written out, one day I'll revisit this for sure)

Oh also, Yuri and Yuya are twins separated at birth

4. Exorcist AU

This one is the multi-series AU, because everyone has one, right!

This started as my 2022 Halloween pawn piece and then over a five-hour midnight bus ride at midnight two months later I decided to make a bad decision that led me to dozing off while queuing up in a theme park in the middle of the afternoon

(Yuto's design is so horribly outdated but I haven't digitalised his new one yet sorry, also shark and kaito heads are by @2-ennn)

In a world ravaged by demons, Yugo has spent his entire life on the tiny island he's called home learning the ropes of exorcism. His life is shaken up when he's assigned to show a visitor around, an exorcist from the mainland with a devilish smile that raises his hackles. He finally drops his suspicions and guard when Joeri sustains injuries protecting him from a demonic attack, and the two become closer... (They even have cute fluffy dates) Well, only until Joeri reveals that it was all staged and that he's a demon (and that his name is actually Yuri) before making off with the church's most prized weapon/artifact/thing/sorry I haven't really decided yet

If you saw my tweet from last year complaining about how I have to write 7 chapters first before I can write about my otp kissing I was referring to this au (joke's on my past self because I skipped ahead to write it anyway)

Yubel, Placido, and IV are the respective leaders of the three factions, but the island that Yugo (and Rin) grew up on is managed by Sherry because man am I hungry for Sherry Yugo sibling-like interactions

I love this AU, but writer's block crashes down like a brick (I've attempted to rewrite Chapter 1 more than two times and I'm still pulling my hair out because I need it to be Perfect)

5. DGS AU

What's up Ace Attorney fans, do I have a fangame in the works for you! It's based on The Great Ace Attorney/Daigyakuten Saiban, but there's no spoilers for it if you haven't played it

I can't talk too much about the plot since I do want to make a playable version one day but I will say that the first trial is defending Yugo from a murder charge (lol)

It's also one of the rare AUs where there's barely any explicit romance(?), only murder and mystery here! (you bet I'm going to write so many allusions for my favourite ships though winky face)

I started writing trial scripts for this but then I got really overwhelmed when looking for a good AA game maker so if anyone has recommendations please send them my way (Ideally they'd have the DGS UI...)

6. Casino AU

The Yuboys are dealers in a casino, and maybe it's a fun goofy little vn (it's a vn)

I have a whole thread on twitter for this one for the drawings i've made, but I'll post some on here so I can ramble a little

It started out as a concept for gacha cards, but then became its own monster (that's currently slumbering)

Originally Reiji was the owner of the casino, but I'm trying my best to include Ray and Zarc more into my aus when I can because I just want more excuses to write/draw my trophy wife (zarc)

this drawing is so old but clutches head i love u4 so much rrrrrrr

I wanted to make little acrylic standees back then (honestly still do a little)

Speaking of little acrylic standees...

7. Rune Factory AU

This one is roughly based on Rune Factory 5, but all you need to know is... nothing, actually; I can't even reference the plot because I've barely played the game myself lol but i just really wanted fantasy farming yuboys

(and then none of the characters ended up being vegetable farmers, even outside of the yuboys)

Harvest Moon/Rune Factory is a game where you live on a farm and eventually maybe marry someone, so one day when I've done all of the full body sprites (pauses and looks to the horizon) I want to make a uquiz that tells you who your destined Bachelor/ette is

It'd be one of the AUs without any 'canon' ships but Ray and Zarc's backstories are kinda tied together so... yup anyway here's a list of things that are true in this AU:

yuya zarc siblings and zarc is a mean older brother

i was going to make zarc the cool mysterious guy that you rarely see but gap moe is one hell of a drug

yuzu and her dad own the grocery store, yuya helms the local inn with yoko, who manages the baths within, zarc opens his diner for business when he feels like it (he's actually so good at cooking), yugo and rin are a blacksmith/carpenter duo, kurosakis have a bakery, though ruri spends her time playing detective, yuto runs the local clinic and sawatari is the town mascot

every monday night, a mysterious phantom thief with orange hair stalks the streets!

the squad that reiji captains serves to fix problems like monster infestations, but they usually have a lot of free time on their hands (well, not reiji) so yuri is constantly annoying yugo and yuto for fun and serena spends her time befriending the girls

ray only returns to town and opens up her flower shop when you defeat the 2nd boss and yuri can be found loitering there often, ray is the only person that makes him remotely uncomfortable

i was going to make yuto the 'protagonist' with amnesia (it's a RF thing) but then i was told he'd be funnier as a doctor (and now I can also give him glasses)

8. Gunvolt AU

Azure Striker Gunvolt is a fast-paced 2D action sidescr-- okay you know what, all you have to know is that the yuboys are villains belonging to a mega corporation that aims to control society through the power of virtual idols and music (yes, this is a real plot point from the original work) and Serena storms their hideout to kick their asses in order to truly free Yuzu (who escaped and was found unconscious in an alley by her now gf) from their clutches

Yuuri: Well, well. Maybe today won't be boring, after all. Serena: Is… Is he in a straitjacket?  Yuuri: I'd really appreciate it if you didn’t talk about me like that to my face, thank you. Serena: If I did, would you move out of the way? Yuuri: If I did, would you free me of these restraints? Rin: That doesn’t seem to be the wisest thing to do. Serena: Yeah. Dream on. Yuuri: Then we only have one choice left, don’t we?

(Yeah I put him in a straitjacket)

The grey numbers are for the design notes I wrote alongside when drawing this, here's a pastebin! (It's not required reading, but I would deeply appreciate it if you checked my rambling out)

Reiji is the final boss for some light AkaSere, but I'm still figuring out his character (and everyone elses', tbh)

The main fun of this AU for me was definitely making parodies of the skill cut-ins! (Yuri's one is due for a remake... I also really need to get around to finishing Yuto and start on Yugo's to complete the set)

Yuya's second one is for when you beat his first form and he uses his last resort to merge with the other three or something (His pose and cape is a nod to Astrograph!)

9. Obelisk Force AU

Okay, before you continue, go and get this song playing in the background first (I will give you a cookie if you read the lyrics too)

Okay, let's go! (with the energy of an excited tour guide)

It'd be an absolute understatement to say I love the concept of Obelisk Force Yugo; one time I made a 10-minute TED talk trying to pick apart why I liked it so much, but back then I still didn't have a good grasp of what my ideal ObeFo Yugo/Pawn was... Until I came across that song on Spotify and asked a friend for help on brainstorming (lost if u see this HI) and the rest, as they say, was history

Yugo is picked up (kidnapped) by Academia at an early age (think like, 5-6) after they witness his duelling skills (Leo really needs LOTS of child soldiers)

they erase his memories then for better assimilation into the academy, though he still retains a sense of stubborn individuality

he's constantly bullied by the other students for being an orphan from the Synchro Dimension, and he gets into fights often

eventually, Leo orders Yuri to take care of the matter (children will be children, but Academia MUST have order)

when Yuri approaches Yugo, he's just finished throwing hands against yet another crowd of students

Yuri attempts diplomacy, even challenging him to a duel, but Yugo is exhausted from his earlier fight and turns him down brusquely, stalking back to his room

Yuri attempts to block his way and gets shoved aside, falling to the ground and cracking his duel disk

he snaps, as the duel disk had been a gift from the professor, and how dare you?

he's beating Yugo half to death when a lightbulb goes off in his head

he proposes to Yugo to personally take charge of his education because he is so gracious and charitable and it's the least he could do for someone who shares his face

Yugo, of course, is completely dumbfounded but faints from a combination of blood loss and fatigue before he can reply no

when Yugo has recovered, Yuri pops the question again, and the two decide to settle the matter through a duel

Yugo loses (duh)

time flies as Yuri teaches Yugo how to stop students from coming back for revenge, among other things (it also helps that the other students are already creeped out by him) and significantly raises his quality of life at Academia which Yugo is thankful for

time skip! Yugo successfully joins the Obelisk Force and promptly unbuttons the jacket instantly (it's a tight fit, okay)

Yugo can feel his serpentine gaze drill into him from where Yuri sits cross-legged on a chair a distance away, his chin cradled thoughtfully in one hand. He waits for a comment, but nothing but silence comes. Finally, he mutters, "What, you're not going to scold me for desecrating the uniform?" A wide smile crinkles Yuri's face. "Not just your wardrobe, but even your vocabulary's upgraded, hm?" Before Yugo can form a retort, he goes on, "Actually, I think I like it." His chair barely makes a sound, muffled by the carpet as he stands up and makes his way across the room. The footsteps stop when teal and magenta are inches away. Lightly, he fingers the lapel of Yugo's new jacket as he rakes a half-lidded gaze from head-to-toe. "It makes you stand out from the others in the Force. And that's fitting. After all..." "You're not the Professor's. You're mine."

One day, Yuri and/or Yugo are sent to capture... Rin! Her picture gives Yugo a sense of deja vu, but he doesn't understand why...

Yugo's memories come back in a flood when he makes eye contact with his old childhood friend that he hasn't seen in almost a decade

The capture is successful, and back at Academia Yugo begs the Professor for the authority to be in charge of her incarceration (In trying to mold Yugo into his shadow, Yuri has unknowingly created a competitor for the Professor's acknowledgement)

Before the Professor can respond, a girl of Yugo's age steps into the room to report to the Professor as a fresh recruit

Leo introduces a brainwashed yandere Ruri as Rin's appointed jailer

Yeah that's right I managed to fit apple and swift in here thumbs up emoji

Anyway it's now a romantic comedy with a love triangle (it's not)

10. Hades AU

No deep thoughts nor any plans for this one it was more of a costume design exercise but I'm including it here because I still like them quite a bit

***

If you've actually made it this far, I don't know what to say... thank you!

If you'd like to see more of any of these (including some of the ones that I didn't manage to include but might have posted before like the Alice in Wonderland one, or the Dark Signer one, or the university one, or the Yuri half-turns into a Starve Venom dragon boy one, or the the Monster Hunter one (less of an AU and just a hey they are gaming), or the Z-arc suddenly has four toddlers and they are the yus and he has to juggle parenting and pro-duelling one, and whichever ones I might have forgotten, my ask box is open!! Again, thanks for reading!

[cluster-b-culture-is]

what do your think of people self diagnosing? my roommate self diagnosed herself with bpd and bipolar 1, after she heard me talking about me living with both disorders. she said “i saw some tiktok’s and related.” just aghhhhh i also see that shit on tiktok sm,,,, likeeee why do people want to be mentally ill????????

most of us are either going to be on meds for the rest of our lives,,, i could go on and on….. it just pisses me the fuck off. people who have these very serious disorders and are professionally diagnosed are demonized and shunned from the world, but people who self diagnose themselves are just a “manic pixie dream girl” omgggg i’m soooo quirky…..

likeeeee i’ve fucked my life up so many time bc on my BPD shit and bipolar 1 episodes…..

THEN THEY SAY THEY GET MANIC AND CLEAN FOR TWO HOURS, THEN IM FINE,,,, I GET MANIC AND GO MISSING FOR MONTHS BUT GTFO I GUESS

sorry just pissed

If you looked at our pinned post, you would see our opinion on self-diagnosis. (Hint: we're completely fine with researched self-diagnosis, and that stance is not going to change for anything. We also believe that people self-diagnosing based on incomplete and dramatized information without doing further research is in the very small minority, and that it's better to believe someone about their own experiences than to deny them on the basis of not having a professional diagnosis, when there are many reasons for someone to not be able to have a professional diagnosis, between not having the resources or just not wanting a professional diagnosis due to not wanting to deal with the potential consequences of having that diagnosis on paper.)

While self-diagnosis based on tiktoks can be... inaccurate, to say the least, we believe that people know their own experiences better than anyone else will. So long as they've done their research and they're open to other potential things, we don't care.

Similarly to "people who want trauma", people "wanting to be mentally ill" is, in my experience, a sign of (potential) mental illness. Like how people wanting severe trauma is a sign of them having trauma that has gone unacknowledged, people wanting mental illness can often be a sign of them having mental illness that's gone completely unacknowledged (even if it's not the thing they're thinking). The vast majority of people understand that mental illness isn't just a fun, quirky trait, and is a serious thing.

Of course, there's something to be said about the tiktok-ification of many disorders, but that doesn't make self-diagnosis automatically invalid. It simply indicates that tiktok is not a good source of information, and that people need to be educated better, especially on heavily stigmatized disorders. (It also needs to be said that the attitudes in specific areas of tiktok talking about these disorders are not representative of the opinion of the whole world, or even most of tiktok.)

[transmasc-wizard]

Would you like to talk about mack?? :D

i WOULD

unfortunately, this will not be :D . this will be D:

tw : familial abandonment, drug use & dealing (doesnt go into huge detail but its mentioned), manipulation/shitty friends, depression, self-worth issues, self-destructive behaviour

so mack (it/any btw) is a character who is very convinced he has already gone through his Character Arc(TM) and doesn't need any more help with his issues. and like, he absolutely got over a lot of issues he used to have, but a lot of other ones were just... pushed down to a place where it can pretend those problems don't exist anymore.

mack was shunned by its whole family when they were turned into a vampire at 15 by their manipulative and shitty vampire "friends", and ran away shortly after. they almost immediately fell into a group of shady people, since that was what it was used to. mostly, these people broke a lot of laws to have a lot of quite-dangerous-in-retrospect parties. illegal fireworks, irresponsible drug use, dares like "play chicken but with cars instead of swings", that sorta thing. mack knew at least 2 people who died at these things and it was not uncommon for them to wake up six blocks away with a memory gap of several hours

this went on for 2-3 years, im not quite sure, until one day mack watched One More person die at a party and was like . hey . maybe this isn't a good use of my life. and he just... ran away again? not in the same way, but he just ghosted everyone she knew and had to start over. it had a lot of shady/sneaky skills from times it used to help w drug dealing, so it put those skills into working on not-super-legal issues but in a significantly safer context (essentially scamming billionaires).

at this time, around age 18 or so, Mack was also loitering a lot at a cafe frequented by university students. at this spot was where Mack met the then-20 and extremely optimistic (lmao) James, a first-year theoretical physics major. when James (Sufferinf w/ rent) realized mack was homeless, he offered to let it stay with him, and mack then officially had a living space ! hurrah. this was the point where mack went "okay so clearly i am now okay. i have a house, food, a less-illegal-than-before job, and am not actively and dangerously using drugs or doing horrifically reckless things. im normal!" and shoved all their issues under the rug

those issues included the fact that by this point mack was just. incapable of showing negative emotions, bc they thought no one would love them if they did bc they'd be too much of a burden. (this is heightened by the fact their chronic pain started at 17.) then there's also the insistence that their constant exhaustion, apathetic feelings, and deep fear of getting close to people is Normal And Fine, their fear of any person who presents themself as a parental or otherwise familial figure, their feelings that it's not worth anything if it can't make others constantly happy, and her inability to cope with anything that she doesn't know how to bullshit through.

by the time the story starts, Mack and James have collected 2 more roommates (Leah and Spacey) (and they will get Val next ofc). James is... significantly more tired and significantly less optimistic, which also makes Mack feel more like she's in control (like, see, even JAMES is doing bad! so surely it's just the average stress of life. i'm ok. never once does he consider James is just also crumbling till like halfway through the book, and that is actually a tense side of their friendship). mack is very very convinced that since it's not actively putting itself in danger twice a week, it's FINE, and no one has to WORRY, and--

then val comes along and kinda. forcibly makes him realize he is not ok. and funky story things ensue :3

[weabooweedwitch]

I definitely do not properly understand your whole situation but I’ve been seeing your posts about your mom for a while and they sort of make me wonder if your mom struggles with some psychological issues such as narcissism. However, I am not a psychologist so do not trust me there but I get the feeling you’ve also considered the condition for her. I I know you’re already thinking of this yourself, but I think people tend to need reassurance in these decisions so I just really want you to know that your idea of moving out and creating your own path seems like a great idea. You seem like someone who is capable of supporting themselves and leading a productive life but your mother is holding you back. It’s insane to me that she has her daughter working a night job while she stays at home doing nothing. Does she have a disability of some sort that prevents her from getting a job? Also srry if this message comes off as rude or annoying. I’ve just had a friend who’s been through similar circumstances and remember how mentally/emotionally draining dealing with toxic parents can be. I rlly hope things start looking up for you!

Oh she definitely has mental health issues and I don't even mean that in a malicious way, she has told me stories over the years of some really bad stuff thst happened to her at different ages with different people and even such childhood trauma as "she has no fucking idea who her father is but he was a married man my grandma was in love with and the entire Southern Baptist family basically shunned my grandma (my grandma even broke down in tears to me once and said they would call her a slut) and my mom became a black sheep and she was bullied her childhood" but also like I spoke to one of said bullies, a cousin, after my grandma funeral and she mentioned some behaviors of my mom that, I've always seen, so sometimes, I dunno, I wonder if my mom developed some trauma in childhood, or was born a certain way, and unfortunately she has sometimes found bits and pieces of repressed memories of being a CSA survivor but the uncertainty of it kind of, I guess to psychoanalyze her she had developed a permanant suspicion and paranoia and distrust of other people and sometimes I wonder if she has some sort of personality disorder or it's just trauma or it's empathy issues or what, idk. And the continuing lack of stability in our lives is feeding into such festering mental health issues that she also does not have the time to have treated because she has, for most of her life, been working constantly as a single mom, and just literally can't afford it because isn't American healthcare nice.

But anyways. It really is becoming an extremely stressful relationship for rhe both of us and I have occasional concerns over my own behabior, my temper, how I struggle to get through to her and she just tries to shut you down and the anger and frustration at trying to get her to LISTEN, like. We've had some incidents where I kind of lost it a little and I really don't want those to escalate. So it's also sort of becoming like "hey Miranda maybe not only is this the right thing to do but this is literally starting to become a safety issue"

But I'm also occasionally like basically feeling like I'm falling apart, but its also like, hm. When I sit and think about it, I didn't really get my first job until it was basically forced by necessity, and now I'm able to work 40 hour weeks albeit being pretty stressed. So. Would I just be initially terrified of being out on my own and just adjust to that too? But also I would HATE to, like, not to catastrophize but, what if I get a roommate and I totally fall apart, then I ruin my situation AND theirs, and what if lost my job? But also what if I lose my job NOW because I'm getting so bent out of shape on and off the clock? But if I can, you know, barely afford $1350 rent with some occasional purchases, then, a cheaper place could maybe be, the best thing. I'm just scared because I have such horrible trust issues now and I don't want people touching my stuff or my animals, and also I can drive so I guess transportation is also a concern when looking at locations.... decisions decisions but also I'm just, terrified of the unknown and of failing and being worse off than I was before

[healeroflightanddark]

Collegebound, Chapter 7: The Incident

The care package that Yuya’s parents sent him actually arrived later that same day, and Yuya was very excited. He couldn’t wait to watch the home videos. He called up Yuto to come to the dorm to watch the videos with him, Yugo, and Yuri.

Yuto arrived about two minutes after Yuya hung up, his roommate right behind him. “Hey, is it cool if Shun joins us? He wanted to meet you.”

“Of course!” Yuya said cheerfully. “The more the merrier!”

The group gathered in the living room with some popcorn and drinks, and Yuya put the videos on. The first video was one of Yuya’s mother in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn Yuya in her arms. The tiny baby was wearing a cute little red beanie with a green cuff and green pom-pom topper, and appeared to be fast asleep wrapped in an orange baby blanket. Yuya’s mother kissed the tiny Yuya on the forehead. “Mama loves you!”

“Aw!” Yugo cooed. “Tiny baby Yuya!” Yuya blushed and smiled.

The next video showed both baby Yuya and baby Yuto sitting in high chairs together, being spoonfed applesauce by their mothers. Yuri raised an eyebrow, “You guys really have known each other for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Yep,” Yuto said. “We were actually born on the same day, around the same time, and our mothers were both in the same hospital room, so we’ve known each other since birth.”

“Yeah, our moms shared parenting tips and stuff they’d learned while they were recovering,” Yuya said. “And they’ve been friends ever since, too!”

The next video showed tiny toddler Yuya and Yuto playing in a kiddie pool with a girl about their age. The girl had pink pigtails. Shun raised an eyebrow. “Who’s that?”

“Oh, that’s Yuzu,” Yuto said. “She used to be our friend, but… well… the incident happened…”

“What incident?” Yuri asked curiously.

Yuya sighed. “You know how little kids are way too young to start dating, but they still say they have boyfriends or girlfriends?” he said. Yugo, Yuri, and Shun all nodded. “Well, back on the first day of kindergarten when we were five, I gave Yuzu a cookie and asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said okay. We told our parents when they picked us up, and they all thought it was cute, but Yuzu’s dad said we were too young to be dating. We never mentioned the subject again, and honestly I completely forgot about the whole thing by the time the incident happened.”

“Oh, I don’t think I like where this is going…” Shun mumbled.

“So anyways, when we were fourteen, I noticed that Yuzu was starting to act a little weird,” Yuya continued. “She started carrying around a paper fan and would randomly hit me with it, or hit any girl that flirted with me. I didn’t really know why she was doing that, and at that point I had figured out that I was gay, so the thought that she might be jealous didn’t really occur to me.”

“Uh-oh…” Yugo’s eyes widened. Yuto shook his head, “It gets worse…”

“So, fast forward to the third day of high school, Yuto comes up to me at lunch and asks when Yuzu and I started dating,” Yuya sighed. “I was so confused because we weren’t dating, and I asked him where he got that idea from. Turns out Yuzu was telling everyone that we’d been dating for years, and I mean everyone. So I go to Yuzu and ask her why she was telling everyone something that wasn’t true, and she gets upset and says it was true, that we’d been dating since kindergarten, and then I remember that time when we were five. And I tried to tell her that we were five and we were too young to date at the time.”

Yuri grabbed a handful of popcorn, listening to the story with wide eyes.

“Later that evening Yuzu’s dad comes to my house, mad and yelling at me for playing with his daughter’s heart, and how I was a terrible boy and should be ashamed of myself for asking girls to be my girlfriend only to say we weren’t really dating,” Yuya continued. “He yelled at me for three hours before he finally let me speak. And I told him, we were five and that he said it himself at the time that we were too young to date.”

Shun scooted a little closer, thoroughly invested in the story.

“And then he was quiet for a few minutes, and then turns to Yuzu and asks her if she was talking about that time when she said that I asked her to be my girlfriend,” Yuya said. “And Yuzu says yes, we’ve been dating since we were five, and her dad is quiet for a few more minutes before he starts apologizing like crazy to me. And then he took Yuzu home, and the next day at school I tried to talk to her and tell her I still wanted to be her friend, but she wouldn’t talk to me. And by the end of the second week of school, she had moved to a different school. I haven’t heard from her since.”

“Oh my god…” Yugo said. “That’s like… wow.”

“Yeah, and she asked me whose side I was on when I tried to talk to her about it after school the day after the incident,” Yuto sighed. “I told her that it really wasn’t fair of her to expect Yuya to seriously be her boyfriend at fifteen when the one and only time it was even mentioned was when we were all five. She hasn’t spoken to me since either. From what I understand, she switched schools because she felt like the whole school was judging her for the situation.”

“Wooooow,” Yuri drawled. “What kind of person thinks that they’re in a serious relationship with someone for ten years when it’s only mentioned once when they’re five? That’s crazy!”

“I wish our friendship hadn’t ended like that, so suddenly over a misunderstanding, but like I said Yuzu hasn’t spoken to me or Yuto since,” Yuya sighed.

[m6bjo4fu0]

Astray

Tsukishima had been distant lately, and you couldn’t figure why. You decided to let him continue and distant yourself too, and it all started going downhill from there

Part 2 - Denouement

Timeskip!Tsukishima x gn!reader

Warnings: unresolved angst, ignoring partner (both ways), not proofread

❀ Masterlist ❀

1:32 am

The clock shined the number at you, mocking you and your patience for your boyfriend. You sighed, packing up the dinner you spent hours making for your boyfriend who never showed up. The food cold, slowly being covered with the plastic wrapper to be stored in the fridge along with the other food he also didn’t eat for the past days. As you place the last dish in the refrigerator, you heard keys from the front door.

“Where have you been?”

“Listen I don’t have time for this I’m tired save it till the morning.”

“But Kei-“

Tsukishima walked into your shared bedroom, slamming the door too loud to your liking. He hadn’t talked to you for days, and this is the first conversation. Sure there’s a new season coming up so he’s stressed, but at this point it’s just rude.

You sat at the empty dinner table, scrolling through your feed with a glass of water in hand. Tsukishima also came out to get water, not acknowledging you.

“Y/n remember to put my towel in the dryer tomorrow before practice.”

You didn’t respond, but he didn’t seem to mind either.

The morning came, yet Tsukishima does not have a towel that had been in the dryer.

“Y/n I said put the towel in the dryer were you not listening?”

That’s when he realized. Where were you? Your keys weren’t there, all the lights are off, and he was disappointed. He was about to text you, only to be met with a message of “out for breakfast with friends.” Something’s missing, he thought. But what? Didn’t matter, he just left you on read like he did for the past two weeks.

When you got home later that day, Tsukishima was already on the couch. It’s rare for him to get home earlier than you, but neither of you cared. He stole a few glances at you before you went to your office, feeling weird again. What’s missing?

This cycle had been repeating over and over for the past month, and neither of you have spoken a word to each other. That is when Tsukishima snapped out of his personal bubble, finding the missing piece of his life. You. As cliche as it might sound, you were quite important to his life. Were. He had been ignoring you, focusing and devoting to his career, simply using you as a stepping stone. He didn’t even realize you were ignoring him until just now. A pool of guilt was filling up in his stomach, but he realized it might be too late now.

On your hand, life was both splendid and terrible. After stop giving your “boyfriend” attention and care, you were hanging out with friends more, just like when you were single, when you didn’t have a boyfriend. The shunning of your boyfriend was harsh at first, but soon becomes a habit after a few days. The fact that you’re purposely neglecting your boyfriend sometimes hurt you, and hurt you even more at the thought that he doesn’t even realize it.

Everything is just horrible. You were having the worst day ever. Nothing’s going well, and going home isn’t comforting anymore. It doesn’t give you the cozy feeling when you were single and living alone, but it doesn’t give you the welcoming sense when your boyfriend wasn’t neglecting you. When you closed the front door, you saw Tsukishima at the dinner table, extra obvious frown on his face. He’s having a similar day. He looked up at you, making the first eye contact in an eternity.

“Kei…”

He hummed in response, heading back to doing whatever he’s doing on his phone.

“What are we doing? Why are we still here?”

“I dunno, just let me relax I already had a bad day I don’t need you to add more stress.”

“What will change if we broke up?”

His eyes were looking in yours in terror.

“What?”

“I said-“

“I heard it, but, why?”

“I think we both know the answer. We’re essentially just roommates at this point. Are we still in love, even?”

“Are we?”

Author’s notes: its current 12:30am and I have school today. Amazing.

Part 2

❀ leave me a tip on kofi - ask box ❀

©m6bjo4fu0 2021 Work belongs to Shyn on Tumblr, please do NOT plagiarize or repost anywhere without permission.

[egyptsblackrose]

Dancing with Strangers

This is by far the longest chapter, hopefully I’ve tied all the loose ends and come to a decent conclusion. Stay tuned fro more fics.

Part 1 - https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/648370506842701824/a-rose-by-any-other-name

Part 5 -https://egyptsblackrose.tumblr.com/post/654891313044635648/dancing-with-strangers-there-will-be-one-more-part

Part 6- The end, enjoy!

It had been eight months since your first meeting with Gojo Satoru and Kakashi Hatake. This had been the longest relationship either men had ever had, both as a three or on their own. It was also painfully clear how absolutely in love both men were with you, and you with them. The change in the three of you was as clear as day, never had anyone seen each of you so happy - is what you constantly heard from everyone you knew, and when you ran into a friend or relative of theirs… with a few exceptions.

The truth had come out about a month in that Gojo was the one with all the money. A ‘representative of his household’ had come to the apartment to visit and go over ‘matters concerning the family’. Satoru had been so laid back through the whole thing, smirking mockingly at the clearly uncomfortable (stuck up) old butler. He’d grabbed your waist as you were walking towards the door to leave, pulling you down and into his lap. It became clear that he wanted to mess with the man opposite him, even Kakashi seemed in on it because he kissed you sweetly as he walked passed.

Gojo wasn’t able to hide his bitterness when the man finally left though, burying his head into your neck and hugging you tightly. His father had been a politician and his mother a CEO of a successful company, he still had connections because of them and shares that were doing incredibly well. Not to mention their life insurance had been enough to set anyone for life.

“It’s not like I was close to them to begin with.” He’d muttered in a bored manner when you’d teared up at the mention of a Satoru toddler being left alone, surrounded by people who wanted to use him for money, power and influence. The butler was a man hired by his fathers old political party and the other share holders at his mothers company. They apparently weren’t best pleased with him settling for being a small time policeman, had hoped to mould him into their puppet to keep both their money making schemes going.

To cheer the three of you up, Gojo had taken the three of you on a spontaneous trip to an Onsen that one of his friends owns, up in the middle of no where. The beautiful, traditional building with modern interior was nestled on the side of a frigging mountain that could only be reached through a thick, ancient forest.

You were the only three guests, and the workers were even excused for the evening, so it felt like you were the only three in the world with the next person been miles away. Which you were insanely grateful for. Because Kakashi and Gojo had made it a completion between them on who could make you scream the loudest.

Three months later, Kakashi had appeared out of no where behind you while you were cooking dinner, wrapping his arms round you gently and kissing your neck soothingly. “Would you join me for a day out tomorrow?”

“Of course I will,” You giggled, shivering as his lips ghosted over the marks on your neck and shoulders, drawing invisible lines like he was drawing constellations. “Where are we going?”

Hatake was silent for a moment before he squeezed you tighter. “I’m going to introduce you to my father.”

To say you were nervous was an understatement, you had agonised over the right outfit for hours the night before, asking both Miku and Sakura for their help. You should have known better, they had spent the majority of the time gushing over your boyfriends and how serious it was getting between you. After all, no one had ever heard of the two most wanted bachelors introducing their conquests to their family and friends, or even going on trips with their lovers, let alone keeping their interest this long.

Finally settling on one of your favourite outfits; something simple, comfortable and trendy, you kept your make-up light and as natural as possible and called yourself ready. Meeting at their apartment, you were surprised to see Kakashi in his policeman formal uniform. God the man looked dashing. Wearing white gloves, black dress shoes, a smart navy suit, light blue tie, hat tucked under his arm and a smirk on his handsome face.

“Enjoying the view baby?” He teased.

You nodded dumbly, bitting your lip to try hide your smirk. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more handsome, you have to go devastate my heart like that.”

“Maybe me and Sato should wear these tonight then.” The suggestion had your thighs clenching, suddenly it was hard to swallow. Hatake chuckled lazily having seen your reaction. “Later baby girl, for now, we have somewhere to go.”

The cemetery was the LAST place you were expecting this day to take you. Kakashi stopped at his fathers tome stone and saluted. It was at least two decades since his fathers death. Kakashi Sakumo, Hatake’s father, had been a respected police detective, and his whole inspirational drive to become a policeman. When Hatake was young, his father had led a team in a drug bust against some of the biggest names in the Yakuza, but had chosen to save his men’s lives rather than capture the villains when things had gone wrong.

The ‘failure’ was a black mark against his name, and soon his was shunned by the media, his fellow detectives and the whole police force. The abuse became so bad, that he took his own life. From then on, Hatake had lived and grown up with Gojo who he was already inseparable with.

“For the longest time…I blamed him too.” Kakashi admitted quietly, holding onto your hand like a life line. “He had a duty to take those dangerous men off the streets, to make the city a safer place for the public, for kids who were in danger of either being hooked onto drugs or joining gangs. Instead he chose to save the lives of his team.” You were silent, what could you possibly say to ease his pain? “But now…” Hatake raised his head with a proud smile. “My views have changed. He didn’t want to chase glory, he just wanted to do the right thing and save lives. In that moment, they needed him, he saw that and did his best. He was willing to die for his men, he didn’t want to see all those family’s mourning for lives he could have spared. I can only hope that one day, I will be as brave as him.”

You are not ashamed to say you cried, standing there looking at the grave of the man who had made Hatake into the man he was. Into the man you loved. You bowed deeply and gave your thanks, promising out loud to take care of his son for as long as you were allowed. Kakashi’s own eyes watered at this as he pulled you close. You don’t know how long you stood there holding each other for, but it didn’t feel like long enough. Part of you thought it would never be enough when it came to the two amazing men who looked at you like you were their whole world.

After the visit, Kakashi had taken you to the old, more traditional part of town so you could go to his favourite restaurant. The two of you were the first to arrive and the last to leave, laughing so much to the point where you were both in tears. It was so light and care free, and you could see the weight just lift off of Hatake’s shoulders.

And when you both finally made it back to their apartment, Gojo was sat on the sofa waiting. Smirking. Also in uniform. That night, not one of you slept.

With your hands locked together in cuffs and blindfold around your eyes, you shook like a leaf in the wind as Kakashi took you from behind, Gojo at your front. If it had been anyone else trying to blindfold you and tie you up, you would have absolutely said no. As it was, Kakashi loved seeing you so vulnerable. So much so that he had stretched your arse as he’d enthusiastically eaten you out, and was now taking advantage of his VERY thorough prep work. He held a vibrator to your clit as he fucked your arse, Gojo keeping your mouth open and busy as he kissed you hungrily so they could hear your moans, squeezing and playing with your tits as he took your front just as roughly.

Not only did you squirt first time, your pretty sure you blacked out for a second. Not that the boys were deterred, they knew you’d tell them if it became too much. Besides, the sounds you were making; the moans, the wet squelching from how wet you were, it was the best yet. You couldn’t walk the next day though and had to ask Miku to record your lecture.

By the fifth month, Gojo and Kakashi had broached the idea of you moving in with them. It was a casual comment made in light conversation one Sunday morning, when they FIRST brought it up. Then it was Kakashi suggesting you keep more of your things with them, mostly because you would ask them to take you back to your apartment with the girls so you could get ready for the day, meaning you would leave earlier than they would like. Eventually Gojo decided they were being too subtle and would cling to you in the mornings, begging you to not leave and to stay with them.

“You guys remember that I’m living with two roommates already right? I can’t just up and leave them like that, they won’t be able to afford rent!”

“But beautifu~l! We want you here with us!”

“What our idiot means to say baby-”

“Hey!”

“Is that, you already spend so much time here, and we love having you with us. Our apartment is even closer to your Uni building! It makes sense surely, for you to move in with us. Or for us even to find a place together-”

“Wow, ok slow down there!” You butt in quickly, cheeks turning pink. Finally the boys had had enough of dancing around the subject and had sat you down to talk about it properly. Talking about moving into their lush apartment was one thing, but talking about a place together, was something else entirely!

Gojo pouted at you in annoyance. “What, you don’t want to live with us?”

“I’m not saying that!” You defended instantly, frowning at him. “I’m saying it’s a BIG step, and I get that you guys feel ready for it, but I don’t ok? For one, five months isn’t that much time dating someone, second, I don’t even have a job yet! And don’t tell me money isn’t an issue and I don’t have to pay rent cause God help me Satoru, I will get up and leave right now.” You threatened.

“Ok you two, lets take a deep breath and talk about this calmly ok?” Hatake soothed, squeezing both your hands. “Baby, if you don’t feel ready then that’s fine, we will not force you. But please know that when you ARE ready, we WANT you here. Ok?” Nodding in understanding, you started to relax. Gojo huffed and crossed his arms, but nodded in agreement. “And about you looking for a job and paying rent. We are not trying to baby you or the like, we just want to take care of you. We know you can take care of yourself but that wont stop us from WANTING to take care of you because you are YOURS. Understand? We love and cherish you, and if we can help you, we want to. If it was us in a difficult situation and you could help us, you would, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course, in a heartbeat.” You muttered with a slight pout.

Kakashi beamed. “It’s the same in our eyes.” And that had been the end of that…for the time being that is.

Just short of the six month mark, you had agreed to go out again with the girls for a night out. Kakashi and Gojo had encouraged you to go, promising that when they were done with their shift, they would come pick you up. They had even bought you a gift voucher for your birthday to buy a new outfit. You had been sure to send the boys a flattering pic of yourself all dolled up before you had left for the night, receiving such thirsty replies that no one would guess that you had spent the night before with them.

The night had been going perfectly, once again you were the most sober of the group, which you were now used to. You had a nice buzz going, there had already been so many laughs and the girls were excitedly giggling about the stories you shared on your boyfriends. (Of course the intimate, personal things you kept to yourself.) You had been to a few bars and your group agreed to end the night at the club you had met your boys in, ‘The Ninja Shrine’. Texting the two policemen still on shift, you let them know that you and your friends had arrived safely, were going to order your drinks and you would be eagerly waiting for them for a dance.

Gojo replied with multiple winky, smirky, and red with sweat drop faces. Kakashi was the only one to give you a verbal reply, promising to be there as soon as they could, and ‘ordering’ you to behave until they arrived. It made you smile, biting your lip. ‘No promises’ was your reply with a winky face, locking your phone and ignoring the bings that followed, knowing that would rile them up more than a reply.

Despite the clear teasing, you stayed against the bar, talking and laughing with your friends as you sipped at your drink. The girls did try convince you to dance with them at one point, but you were waiting a certain pair to join you. After all, dancing with the girls was fun, but it was even better when you had certain pairs of eyes on your body.

“Oh shit,” Miku cursed, suddenly grabbing your arm and turning you away from the door.

“What the hell-?”

“Don’t turn around!” Miku earned, holding onto your shoulders. “One of your boys’s old flings is here, and trust me you don’t want anything to do with her.” Looking subtly out of the corner of your eyes, you saw a pretty strawberry blonde with soft brown eyes and a confident smirk. You could clearly see her figure through her flashy outfit, her expensive designer shoes and handbag on show like she was on the Paris run way. “She was with them for four months, her names Claire Aoki, and she’s a psycho if you ask me.” Miku continued carefully.

Before you could react, the door opened once more and in came your two boyfriends, looking like sex on legs. Gojo wore a flashy designer get up with black jeans and dress shoes, a blue shirt and a leather jacket that you knew for a fact cost more than your joint rent with the girls. Kakashi was also in black dress shoes, black dress pants, a dark grey shirt and a lighter grey silk vest. Their eyes landed on you immediately and began smiling. You smiled back, beaming when they started heading your way.

They hadn’t made it two steps before they were stopped by Claire, her red manicured-nailed hands resting on their chests as she leaned in towards them, pressing her chest into their arms. Kakashi looked panicked, eyes widening as his eyes darted up towards you, then down to her and back. Gojo’s smile shrunk, it was still there, but it looked much more forced now as his blue eyes narrowed at the other woman.

Curious, and not worried at all, you leaned back against the bar. You turned to make yourself look as relaxed as possible, replicating the same look you had the night they had pulled you away from your friends to charm the pants off of you. Your head tilted and your smile grew as their eyes kept on drifting to you. Whatever Claire was saying clearly wasn’t keeping their attention.

Your smile turned to a smirk as Beast by Mia Martina started playing, slowly pushing off the bar as you headed to the dance floor, your friends following. Closing your eyes, you let the music take you away, body rolls moving slow, deliberate. You caught their eyes by dancing for yourself, but now you knew their weaknesses, the parts of you that they loved to tease and squeeze, you knew their bodies like you knew your own. And you fully intended to use that to your advantage.

“Keep your eyes on me,” You sang, looking both men dead in the eyes, smirking as their gazes struggled to meet yours, roaming your form hungrily like they hadn’t seen you in months. “Come here right now,” You continued, your hands reaching out to them, beckoning them to you. “Cause when the sun goes down the beast comes out,” Dropping to the floor, you straightened your legs so you were bent in half, slowly coming up and curving your back as you flipped your hair back gracefully.

“Take you down, down can you keep it up all night,” Smirking, you spun slowly as you exaggerated your hip swaying, making sure they got an eye full of your behind. “You all over my skin, I’m anxious, paint my body boy’s I’ll be your canvas.” Your head snapped back, showcasing all their bruises that they left from the night before.

Next thing you knew, two sets of hands were gripping you tight, one set on your hips and another on your upper thighs. “Da~nm Beautiful!” Gojo growled lowly into your ear, your grin stretching as you giggled, Kakashi ducking his head to bite your neck. “First you ignore us, then you go and put on a show like that for anyone to see. What are you trying to do, hu? You just want us to bend you over our knees don’t you?”

“Maybe I do,” You teased. “Or maybe I’m trying to prove a point to someone who was getting too handsy with what wasn’t theirs.”

“Oh? Someone was getting jealous? As sexy as you are ‘staking your claim’, doesn’t change the fact that your going to get your punishment when we get home, beautifu~l!” Satoru teased, his hand dragging up your body till his hand was at your neck, then he squeezed.

Kakashi let out a ragged breath at your moan. “I think we should get out of here.” Pressing himself harder into you, you could feel his impatience clearly through his pants.

You dared to look around you, eyes meeting with soft brown eyes glaring daggers at you with so much hatred. You would have been scared six months ago, you would have shrunk and shied away. But how could you now when Gojo and Kakashi were stood with you, hands all over you, demanding your love and attention, making you feel so treasured and powerful.

“Kiss me first.” You demanded. Satoru didn’t even hesitate for a second, pulling you into a searing kiss full of passion and desire. You faintly heard Miku and your friends cat call and wolf whistle somewhere near the bar, causing Gojo to pull away and chuckle. The opening was all Kakashi needed. His kiss was equally breathtaking, his movements slower and more controlled, but clearly as desperate to lay claim.

When Hatake pulled away, Gojo effortlessly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, smacking your arse when you struggled. So you smacked his right back. Again, you couldn’t walk the next day.

By the end of the eight first months, you had finally landed a job interview and was offered the job on the spot, starting small but promised promotions if your work was up to standard. Around the same time your lease on the shared apartment with your friends was up, and you had finally given into your boyfriends hints and agreed to look for a place you could all afford together. What’s more, your graduation was less than a month away. Things were finally falling into place.

You had yet to broach the subject of your relationship status with your parents, though you were pretty sure they had figured out that you were at least dating someone by this point. Admitting that you hadn’t mentioned anything to your parents, you were nervous how the boys would react. But they had simply shrugged, nodded in understanding and reminding you that if you needed their help they were here for you.

Most importantly, you had a job you were doing well in, you were moving into a beautiful home, your friends were happy and doing well in their own fields, and you had two men who loved you unconditionally. You were sure everything was going to work out just right. And with Gojo and Satoru by your side, you could over come anything.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: The Anime Stars of Genshin Impact

Image via miHoYo

  Genshin Impact has lived up to its name in that it has indeed made an impact upon the gaming world. Launched on September 26, the free-to-play open-world game has amassed $245 million in only its first month, and that's from Android and iOS alone. I'm not ashamed to say that I have sunk an unholy number of hours into this game. Why do I like this game so much? Perhaps the biggest reason Genshin Impact is so appealing to me is that I am an anime fan.

  Voices from all over the world of anime can be heard in Genshin Impact, from Naruto to My Hero Academia to currently airing seasonal anime. Being able to "hear" your favorite anime character in-game is part of what makes this game so great. Let's take a look at some of the talented people from the anime industry whose voices bring the characters of Genshin Impact to life.

  Paimon (Aoi Koga)

    Paimon is the face of Genshin Impact. No, literally, her face is on the launcher icon. Imagine my shock when I found out she is voiced by Aoi Koga, the voice of Kaguya Shinomiya from Kaguya-sama: Love is War. The intimidatingly smart rich girl Kaguya and the squeaky and energetic (and kinda stupid) Paimon couldn't be more different. Props to Koga for making both work. Koga has also voiced Elulu from Cautious Hero, Yuri Miyata from TWOCAR, and Sora Kaneshiro from Angel's 3Piece.

Male Traveler (Shun Horie) 

  One of the first actions you take in the game (in most games, for that matter) is to choose your character. In Genshin Impact, you choose between two world-traveling twins, who the other characters simply refer to as "Traveler." The male Traveler (whose official name is Aether) is voiced by Shun Horie. I personally recognize him as Enta from Sarazanmai, but most would know him as Kazuya ("Kazuya-kuuuuun!") from Rent-a-Girlfriend. Some of his other roles include Ichiro Suzuki aka Satou Pendragon from Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody, Rat from Juni Taisen: Zodiac War, and Hacker from this season's Akudama Drive.

Female Traveler (Aoi Yuuki)

    What about the female Traveler (whose official name is Lumine)? Turns out she's voiced by Aoi Yuuki, who voices ... Mami from the same show. The irony of this coincidence is not lost on me. Yuuki is probably best known for voicing Madoka Kaname, the protagonist of Puella Magi Madoka Magica. To me, however, her most memorable role was as the titular Boogiepop in 2019's Boogiepop and Others; an unforgettable performance. She's voiced a number of other notable roles, including Tamaki from Fire Force, Tsuyu Asui (Froppy) from My Hero Academia, Tanya from Saga of Tanya the Evil, Tornado from One-Punch Man, Kayo from ERASED, Yuuki Konno from Sword Art Online II, and Hachiman's sister Komachi from My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU. 

Amber (Manaka Iwami)

  Image via Madman Entertainment

  Amber is one of the game's most popular characters, owing to her cheerful and optimistic personality. She is voiced by Manaka Iwami, the voice of Teresa Wagner in Tada Never Falls in Love, Lykos in Children of the Whales, Mizuho in Wave, Listen to Me!, and Maquia in Maquia: When the Promised Flower Blooms.

Kaeya (Kohsuke Toriumi)

    The cool and charismatic Kaeya is, surprisingly enough, voiced by Kohsuke Toriumi, known as the voice of the hotheaded Kiba from Naruto. He has also voiced Shunsuke Imaizumi from Yowamushi Pedal, Mista from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, and Cecil from the Uta no Prince-sama franchise.

Lisa (Rie Tanaka)

    A lazy and flirtatious scholar with electrical powers, Lisa is voiced by the experienced Rie Tanaka, who one might easily recognize as Lacus Clyne from Mobile Suit Gundam SEED. The gentle, "sisterly" voice of Lacus suits Lisa's personality to a T. Tanaka has also voiced Yomi from Azumanga Daioh, Chii from Chobits, Sammy from Time of Eve, Maria from Hayate the Combat Butler, Chizuru from Squid Girl, and Suiginto from Rozen Maiden.

Barbara (Akari Kito)

    The first Akari Kito role that catches the eye is her performance as Kotoko Iwanaga in In/Spectre; both she and Barbara have a near-identical dressing sense, with their frilly white frock and cap. Kito has also voiced Nezuko in Demon Slayer, Nene Yashiro in Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, Kaho Hinata in BLEND-S, and Suzune Horikita in Classroom of the Elite. You can also look forward to hearing her as Tsukasa in TONIKAWA and Adachi in Adachi and Shimamura this season.

Beidou (Ami Koshimizu)

    Beidou is voiced by Ami Koshimizu, voice of Ryuko from Kill la Kill and Kallen from Code Geass — two popular characters from two of the biggest shows of our times. Some of her other roles include Holo from Spice and Wolf, Tenma from School Rumble, Nodoka from Saki, and Shizuri from A Certain Scientific Railgun.

Bennett (Ryota Osaka)

    Bennett's design coupled with his "passionate" and "righteous" personality screams "protagonist" to me. And that's exactly what his voice actor Ryota Osaka delivers, being the voice of Eijun Sawamura from Ace of the Diamond, Nariyuki Yuiga from We Never Learn: BOKUBEN, and Ryu Yamada from Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches. His other roles include Zen Wistalia in Snow White with the Red Hair, Keiji Akaashi in Haikyu!!, Yuki Sanada in Tsuritama, Nagate in Knights of Sidonia, Ikki Kurogane in Chivalry of a Failed Knight, and Sadao Mao in The Devil is a Part-Timer!.

Chongyun (Soma Saito)

    Chongyun is voiced by Soma Saito, perhaps best known as Yamaguchi from Haikyu!!. However, his breakout performance was as young Twelve in Terror in Resonance. Other notable roles include Tatsumi from Akame ga Kill, Adlet Mayer from Rokka: Braves of the Six Flowers, Doppio from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, and William James Moriarty from the currently-airing Moriarty the Patriot.

Diluc (Kensho Ono)

    Diluc is widely considered to be the best character in the game from a gameplay perspective. He is voiced by Kensho Ono, whose most famous voice performance is undoubtedly Giorno Giovanna, the protagonist of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind. Ono is also known for his performance as the titular Kuroko from Kuroko's Basketball. Other roles include Canute from Vinland Saga, Arata from ReLIFE, Mikazuki from My Roommate is a Cat, Slaine Troyard from Aldnoah.Zero, Tanaka from Tanaka-kun is Always Listless, and Akutagawa from Bungo Stray Dogs. 

Fischl (Maaya Uchida)

    In what has to be the most on-point casting in this game, Maaya Uchida — best known as the voice of delusional eyepatch-wearing chunibyo (middle-schooler) Rikka from Love, Chunibyo, and Other Delusions — voices a delusional eyepatch-wearing chunibyo in Fischl. Well done, miHoYo, well done. She also voices Hiyori from Noragami, Norman from The Promised Neverland, Catarina Claes from My Next Life as a Villainess, Yoshioka from Blue Spring Ride, and Rui from Domestic Girlfriend. 

Jean (Chiwa Saito)

    Chiwa Saito (the voice of Jean) went on to become one of my favorite voice actors after I heard her as Hitagi in Bakemonogatari, Yona in Yona of the Dawn, and Homura in Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Some of her other performances include Aika in Aria the Animation, Chloe von Einzbern in Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Illya 2wei, and Schierke in 2016's Berserk.

Keqing (Eri Kitamura)

    The energetic and hardworking Keqing is played by Eri Kitamura, known for voicing such energetic characters as Mina Ashido in My Hero Academia, Yui in Angel Beats, and Sayaka in Puella Magi Madoka Magica. She also voices Ami in Toradora!, "Chief" Yachiyo in Wagnaria!!, and Bea in Pokemon: Twilight Wings.

Klee (Misaki Kuno)

    Klee has quickly become a fan favorite, partly due to her short stature and childlike demeanor. She is quite appropriately voiced by Misaki Kuno, known for voicing "childlike" characters such as Hawk from The Seven Deadly Sins, Momo Kawamoto from March Comes in Like a Lion, Shio from Happy Sugar Life, Serara from Log Horizon, Niko from Kiznaiver, and Akane from Durarara!! x2.

Mona (Konomi Kohara)

    Is it a coincidence that this game has both Aoi Koga AND Konomi Kohara (who voice Kaguya and Chika in Kaguya-sama: Love is War)? I think not. Kohara's other notable roles include Akane from Tsukigakirei, Kasumi from Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -, Mina Hibino from Karakai Jozu no Takagi-san, Shamiko from The Demon Girl Next Door, and Tsukasa's sister Chitose from TONIKAWA.

Ningguang (Sayaka Ohara)

    Sayaka Ohara is known for her deep, "mature" voice — an apt fit for Ningguang. While Ohara's best-known voice role is probably as Erza Scarlet in the Fairy Tail series, she has also delivered iconic performances as Beatrice from the Umineko When They Cry visual novels and Yuuko in xxxHolic. Other well-known roles include Irisviel from Fate/Zero, Alice from Aria the Animation, Milly Ashford from Code Geass, and Mrs. Yuigahama (Gaha-mama) in My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU.

Noelle (Kanon Takao)

    Kanon Takao has not done a whole lot of voice roles but there are still some recognizable titles on their resume, such as Hina Tsurugi from the recently-aired Diary of Our Days at the Breakwater, Latina from If It's for My Daughter, I'd Even Defeat a Demon Lord, Aku from Demon Lord, Retry!, and Linnea from The Master of Ragnarok & Blesser of Einherjar.  

Qiqi (Yukari Tamura)

    Qiqi is voiced by Yukari Tamura, who shot to fame as the voice of protagonist Nanoha Takamachi from the influential magical girl franchise Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha. Her other significant voice roles are as Togame in Katanagatari, Tenten in Naruto, Rika Furude in When They Cry, Io Euclase in GRANBLUE FANTASY: The Animation, Mai Kawasumi in Kanon, Yamada in B Gata H Kei, and Jibril in No Game No Life. 

Razor (Kouki Uchiyama)

    Kouki Uchiyama is known for his soft-spoken roles, especially villainous ones like Meruem from Hunter x Hunter, Shigaraki from My Hero Academia, and Rui from Demon Slayer. Even his non-villainous roles have that serious, soft-spoken nature to them — Tsukishima from Haikyu!!, Smile from Ping Pong the Animation, Natsuno from Shiki, Yu Otosaka from Charlotte, and Toi from Sarazanmai. He is a perfect fit for Razor, a menacing wolf-boy of few words.

Sucrose (Akane Fujita)

    Akane Fujita (the voice actor for curious bio-alchemist Sucrose) had her breakout year in 2017 when she played Sagiri Izumi in Eromanga Sensei and Sistine Fibel in Akashic Records of Bastard Magic Instructor.

Venti (Ayumu Murase)

    Venti's naive and mischievous personality makes him the perfect fit for Ayumu Murase, best known as the voice of the cheerful and simpleminded Shoyo Hinata of Haikyu!! fame. What interests me most, however, is the fact that Murase also voiced protagonist Kazuki from Sarazanmai — between Venti, Razor, and the male Traveler, it looks like we have the entire Sarazanmai main trio assembled! Murase has also voiced Shun in From the New World, Iruma in Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun, and Ryo Asuka in Devilman Crybaby.

Xiangling (Ari Ozawa)

    I was very excited to hear that Xiangling would be voiced by Ari Ozawa, whose performance as Chiyo Sakura in Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun (her first major role) is one of the finest I have ever seen. Ozawa has also voiced Hina Hikawa in BanG Dream! S2, Kirin Todo in The Asterisk War, Mao in Hinamatsuri, Papi in Monster Musume: Everyday Life With Monster Girls, Benitoite in Land of the Lustrous, Lynn May in Plunderer, and Conny in The Promised Neverland. 

Xingqiu (Junko Minagawa)

    It is quite common in the voice acting industry for male characters, especially younger ones, to be voiced by female VAs. Such is the case with refined bookworm Xingqiu. This is not the first time Junko Minagawa has voiced a male character — her first role came as Ryoma Echizen from the long-running The Prince of Tennis. Her other roles include Oz Vessalius in PandoraHearts, Cornelia in Code Geass, Sailor Uranus in Sailor Moon Crystal, and Jeanne d'Arc in Drifters. 

  As more characters are added to the game, we can expect more talented voice work from the people behind the scenes. Further updates have teased us with the possibility of such giants as Saori Hayami and Yoshitsugu Matsuoka joining the cast. Can't wait!

Who is your favorite Genshin Impact character? Let us know in the comments below!  

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[hongyueg]

When an Orc Teaches a Math Class

What happens when Bolg's father gets accepted as his high school's new math teacher? https://archiveofourown.org/works/31756993 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Bolg heard the news his father had been accepted as The Middle-earth Academy for Cooperation and Mutual Success’ new math teacher, two things popped into his mind. The first being that he would allow no one to learn the new math teacher was his father and the second being he was going to avoid the math department as much as possible when he arrived at The Middle-earth Academy for Cooperation and Mutual Success (or MACMutS as everybody called it) in the Fall for his second year of high school.

“I can’t believe it!” Azog, Bolg’s father, exclaimed in Orkish as he pointed at his computer screen (and, yes, Orcs did have internet) for the seventeenth time.

Bolg, who sat at the kitchen table, nodded. He stared through the entrance of their home at the mountains in the distance. The ridges’ dark colors were comforting like the soup his father made during the Winter months. All the Orcs in their commune always jostled over to their dwelling as soon as they smelled the aroma of Azog’s signature dish seeping out of the little hut. With his dad now working at MACMutS full-time, Bolg wondered how their comrades would fare without him.

“This is wonderful,” Azog babbled on. “I’m finally going to meet new people, make connections, and see the world!”

~~~

A month and eleven days later, Azog and Bolg were off to see the world, or rather off to travel by train for eight hours and seven minutes to get to Gondor from Gundabad. After a little hassle at the train station to get a taxi to Minas Tirith (the problem was that Orcs didn’t have a system based on currency, so it was a bit hard to convince a Human driver to take them for free. Azog eventually just gave the Human his phone number and promised to do car maintenance for no charge at any time. Bolg was a bit skeptical how this could happen since Azog didn’t own any equipment to do car repairs, but the driver accepted the deal, so Bolg stayed silent), they arrived just outside the school’s main gates.

“How did you get here last time?” Azog huffed as he pulled the last of the luggage out of the taxi and waved the driver goodbye. Azog had brought an extra luggage bag just for his cooking ingredients to his son’s disapproval.

Bolg scratched his pale bald head. He didn’t want to admit he had relied on a Dwarvish prince he had met on the train to pay for his fare. “Uh, I just gave the driver the rest of the snacks you had packed me.”

“This will need to change,” Azog declared. “I will speak to the administration and make sure they give Orc students a pass to get free taxi rides. This school is supposed to be the symbol of acceptance and how can it live up to that ideal when it’s a financial struggle for some of their students to even get here.”

Bolg had stopped listening to his father as he noticed a few other students, non-Orcs who were probably First Years, gaping in their direction. He could somewhat understand their astonishment. Orcs only left their secluded communities for political or educational reasons and it had been over three hundred years since any major force of Orcs had participated in the continent’s wars. Still, Orcs weren’t that rare. If anything, they were much more numerous than Elves. Maybe they come from rural communities. Wait, why am I making excuses for them? They shouldn’t be staring . He glared at them and they hastily turned their gazes away.

“Well, Bolg, I’ll let you go to your dorm room. It’s a shame that you aren’t in any of my classes, but I will certainly see you around!”

As he trudged away from his father, Bolg prayed they would never cross paths inside the school.

~~~

“Bolg, what do you think of the new math teacher?” Rosie Cotton, a Hobbit in his year and one of his new dorm hallmates, asked as they headed off to the cafeteria together. The height difference was considerable between the two of them and Bolg had to bend down to hear her. The good thing was Rosie usually just chattered on without waiting for Bolg to reply, so if he missed a few words here and there, it was rarely an issue.

Bolg squinted his eyes against the late Summer sun, which was still bright despite the fact it was nearly evening. Orc eyes aren’t meant for this much luminosity. A pang of homesickness shot through him as he missed the cool, dark mountains around Gundabad. “Yeah, I think it’s great the school is hiring an Orc to be on their faculty.” He felt appreciative that Orcs didn’t have last names. No one had to know that Azog was his father and he preferred not to answer questions about how Orcs were birthed.

“Me, too! The school has been pretty good about having a diverse set of teachers and administrators, so it’s about time they hired an Orc. Ooh, I heard from Fredegar Bolger…” And Rosie rambled on until they arrived at the dining commons and went their separate ways.

After Bolg had picked up a steaming bowl of rabbit soup, he found his way over to his friends. It had been a couple months since he had spoken to any of them. While he did have internet back home, the connection wasn’t strong enough for video chatting.

“Bolg,” Gothmog cried, slapping his fat peach-colored hand against Bolg’s back as Bolg slid down on the bench beside the Mordorian Orc. “Good to see you. I was worried that you were never going to show up.”

“What, Gothmog? I was just finishing unpacking.” Bolg glanced at the other people at the table. There was Yazneg, an Orc from Moria, Shagrat, a Black Uruk from Cirith Ungol, and three dwarves from the Lonely Mountain who were all related and named Bifur, Bofur, and Bumbur. Off at the edge of the table was their year’s loner, a Human named Aragorn. Rumor had it that Aragorn had been raised by Elves, but had been kicked out for undisclosed reasons. He currently lived as a nomad among the Rangers of the North. The theories for why the Elves supposedly shunned Aragorn were vast and Bolg, despite having sat at the same dining table as the boy everyday of the last school year, still had no knowledge of Aragorn’s true history.

Bolg only half-listened to his friends as he slurped his stew. Shagrat complained about the creepy giant spider that lived next to his commune’s settlement. The dwarfs discussed how the mining expenditures in the East were progressing. Not like the Orcs really cared as money meant little to them.

“Y’know that new math teacher?” Yazneg’s voice jolted through his ears. Bolg spit his stew back into his bowl.

The others, even Aragorn, stared at Bolg.

“You okay, buddy?” Bofur asked, his dark brown eyes brimming with worry.

Bolg took a steady breath and placed his bowl back down onto the table with a soft clink. “Y-yes. Um, what were you saying about the new math teacher, Yazneg?”

Yazneg frowned, but carried on. “I was just gonna say that when I mentioned his name to my commune, they said that he was originally from Moria, but moved to Gundabad when he was young. I just found it kinda strange. For you non-Orcs, it’s rare that one of us leaves the place where we’re from. Bolg, you’re from Gundabad. Do you know anything about Azog?”

Once again, all eyes were on him. Bolg chewed his lip. “Uh, I don’t think so.”

Everyone continued to peer at him until Gothmog broke the silence by bragging about a difficult wrestling tournament he had won over the Summer.

Bolg’s secret was safe.

~~~

At least that’s what he had thought. They had all finished eating and saying their goodbyes. Bolg had been heading over to catch up with Rosie who was exiting the dining hall by herself when he felt a firm hand grasp his wrist.

Tense, he twisted around to see Aragorn looking up at him with narrowed eyes. Bolg trembled and had to remind himself that he was a Gundabad Orc and Gundabad Orcs weren’t scared of anything. “Why didn’t you tell them that Azog is your father?” Aragorn asked in a low voice.

Bolg glanced around him to make sure there were no onlookers. Fortunately, most other students were too occupied catching up with their friends and eating to notice Bolg and Aragorn. “I-I...How did you know?”

Aragorn shrugged. “I’ve heard about your father before. As Yazneg says, it’s rare for an Orc to leave their commune.”

“You Rangers spy on us?”

“You’re not answering my question.” Aragorn released Bolg’s wrist.

Bolg rubbed it. Aragorn had been gripping his wrist tight. “Do I have to? You never tell anyone your history, so why should I tell you mine?”

The Human sighed. “Fair point. Okay, keep your secrets to yourself, but don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone else.” With that, Aragorn strode away.

~~~

Why did Bolg want to keep his father’s identity a secret? Aragorn’s question rattled Bolg’s brain for the rest of the night. Luckily, if his roommate Faramir noticed, he didn’t say anything as they both prepared for bed.

Bolg lay on his mattress, staring at the darkness glittering around him. He had chosen the bed farthest from the window because light and Orcs didn’t exactly mix, but the usual comfort gloom gave him wasn’t there.

He turned onto his side again, the frame creaking underneath him as he moved.

“Hey, Bolg, are you alright?” On the other side of the room, the lamp flicked on, spreading glaring light across the open space.

Bolg sat up and twisted around to see Faramir peering at him. The young Human’s long dark hair was a bit tussled from lying down and his gray eyes appeared concerned. Bolg didn’t know much about his roommate beyond the fact he was the Gondorian steward’s son. He had thought it was a bit strange that Faramir had chosen to stay on campus when he lived not too far away in a palace, but decided he wasn’t in a place to question a noble’s decision.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine,” Bolg stammered.

“Just wanted to make sure since you’ve moved around at least five times now.”

Nine, Bolg thought to himself. “Yeah, everything’s good. I’m just stressing about something stupid. Not something anybody would care to listen to.”

“Try me. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.” The Human gave a little smile.

Bolg had never talked to anybody about his feelings before. It wasn’t something accepted in Orkish culture. If you had an issue, you just complained about the person closest in proximity to you and then wrestled with them until you felt better. Bolg didn’t feel like wrestling with Faramir. “Um, well, it’s about a certain someone. I don’t want anyone knowing about my, uh, connection to them because it’s just so embarrassing and he’s just so embarrassing and he doesn’t exactly fit certain standards and I think everybody would think I’m weird for being connected to him and then it...I would be a mess…”

Bolg stared at the ground. He was so glad that Orcs didn’t blush or he would be bright red right now.

“You have a crush on someone?” Faramir asked, his eyebrows raised. “It’s fine if you do. Feeling embarrassed about crushes is normal and you never know, maybe he likes you back. If you want help reaching out to him, whoever he is, I can help out-”

“No,” Bolg interjected. Another wave of gratefulness for Orcs’ inability to blush sparked through him. “It’s not a crush. It’s my...father.” Getting that last word out felt like trying to push Mount Gundabad over a few inches.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Bolg turned his attention to a tiny moth fluttering by Faramir’s lamp. “He’s the new math teacher.”

“Azog? Oh, I have him.”

“I mean, he’s energetic and strong and cares a lot about education, but he’s a bit bizarre in terms of Orkish culture. He wants to explore the world and meet new people and...he has a kid.”

“Is having a kid a bad thing? Sorry, I don’t know much about Orkish culture.” Faramir gazed at the floor.

“Orcs don’t really have families. We’re kind of born the size of adults and just integrated into our communes immediately. I mean, we still mature over time like other species do, but we don’t have parents. The fact my dad decided to raise me on his own is strange and we keep it a secret in our commune to avoid being shamed by other Orcs.”

“Born the size of adults,” Faramir murmured.

“Don’t think about it too much.” Bolg rubbed his head. “Sorry to bother you with this. I should have kept it to myself.”

The Human glanced up at Bolg. “No, no. It’s alright. How can I support you?”

Bolg blinked at Faramir. “Do you think I should tell my friends?”

Faramir sighed. “It’s up to you to do what you think is best, but if they’re good friends, then I’m sure they’ll support you.”

~~~

Bolg prayed Faramir was right as he sat down at the dining table the next morning. He had arrived at the cafeteria on the earlier side, hoping that the quieter atmosphere would calm his nerves before he spoke to his friends.

“Bolg, you’re early!” A voice cried out behind him in heavily accented Orkish.

Bolg twisted around to see Gothmog striding toward him. They rarely spoke Orkish to one another since the Gundabad and Mordorian dialects were, for the most, mutually unintelligible.

“Yeah,” Bolg replied in Common Speech. He fiddled with the fork he was using to eat his breakfast patties.

Gothmog took a seat beside him. “The cooks are trying out this new soup. Apparently they got the recipe from the new math teacher. He even donated his ingredients to them. It’s a Winter soup, but technically can be made year-round.”

Sure enough, the distinct aroma of his father’s signature dish swarmed Bolg’s senses.

“Is that a tear? Orcs don’t cry, silly.”

Bolg turned away from his friend. More tears wracked though his body and hiccups escaped through his mouth. His stomach burned inside of him and he craved to crawl into a nice, dark hole.

Gothmog began slapping his back. “Uh, Bolg? You okay? Are you allergic to the soup? Do you want to wrestle?”

A chorus of footsteps sounded behind Bolg.  “What’s going on?” Came Bofur’s excited voice. Even more tears gushed from Bolg’s eyelids.

“Dunno,” He heard Yaznag say.

“I’ve never seen an Orc act like that,” blurted Shagrat. “Maybe he needs a good chokehold.”

“I don’t think that will help him,” Aragorn muttered.

Bolg shoved his platter of food away and pushed his face against the table's hard surface. Gothmog continued to clobber his back.

“Hey, Bolg, what’s going on? Are you alright?” Rosie’s breath tickled his arm. He hadn’t even heard her step by.

“Should we get a teacher?” Bumbur asked.

“Mister Azog, over here!” Bofur shouted. Bolg could hear what was most likely Bifur, Bofur’s mute cousin, jumping up and down to wave over the educator.

Heavy footsteps clomped in Bolg’s direction. “Hey, son, what’s going on?” Azog asked in Orkish.

“Wait, Mister Azog is your father?” Yazneg asked in Common Speech.

“Orcs don’t have fathers, silly,” Gothmog said in between wacks.

Strength surged through Bolg’s body and he sat up. Taking a deep breath, he wiped away his tears. With a single hand, he knocked Gothmog over onto the ground. Rosie, Bofur, and Bumbur all gasped. “It’s true,” Bolg said. He peered at his father who stood by the other side of the table. “The new math teacher is my father.”

[chandisiacs]

starboy. ☆ part one: i’m a motherfuckin’ starboy 

NOTE: mentions of alcohol, strippers, vulgar language. 

WORD COUNT: 3646

m.list ☆ current part ☆ part two 

         The Neon Lane was crowded with blinding lights when you entered with your two best friends. The music drowned out the screams and stomps of the people who jumped and ground their bodies against each other, the sultry laughs and lewd moans of men and women alike sounded from the booths, and the flexible and flashy strippers posed themselves on the stage, exposing skin, earning money from each dance and each pose that would make a person’s arousal run like adrenaline. To be honest, this wasn’t your typical Friday night; your nights would mostly be chilling by the couch of your shared apartment with Hyunjin, watching multiple seasons of any series on Netflix and crying your eyes out when each series ended. It’s become a routine for you, and it was exactly that reason why your roommate and your best friend brought you to this club--a strip club at that. 

“Guys,” you stopped short at the entrance after the bouncer let you three in, “I don’t think clubbing is such a good idea for me. I feel like my clothes are too tight.” You grabbed at the hem of your burgundy satin wrap dress, pulling it down to where it reaches your knees, and Hyunjin really had the audacity to glance at the cleavage that exposed itself through the low-v neck of your dress. “Too tight, or too low.” He rolled his eyes and hooked his fingers on your straps, tugging the fabric back up to secure your chest. “Besides, Netflix and crying is all you ever do. Loosen up! Have fun. If you need anything, Jisung and I are just around the corner. Isn’t that right, Ji?” 

“You betcha.” Your best friend, Jisung, gave you a supportive wink as he felt his palm through his slicked back blonde hair. Taking a good look at the both of them, you began to realize how good they made themselves look for this occasion. May it be through the countless visits that they’ve gone through in this strip club (Jisung even put in a good word for the bouncer. Just how many times have they been here?), but it was tonight that made them look even more regal, more alluring. Hyunjin had worn your makeup, smokey eyeshadow brushed on the lids of his eyes to accentuate his sharp eyes, highlighter to bring out the shine of his cheeks, and glossed lips that shone underneath the spotlights. You were sure enough that he was getting laid tonight with that hair slicked back and those lips looking like cherries, ready to be bitten and chewed.  

You never knew if you looked good. It is your first time in a wild place such as this, so you wondered if your bronze makeup apparel made you stick out. You got some comfort from Hyunjin earlier, telling you that you were the most stunning roommate he’s ever seen, but you retorted him back with a, “I am your only roommate, dumbass.” At least he made you feel good, though, and it worked. Needless to say, there was no turning back now. 

“Alright, ladies and Hyunjin,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes at Jisung’s comment, “Get loose, have fun, and party the night away. Which lucky baby is having me tonight?” He strolled around the place, checking out women and men alike, until his eye caught a man adorned in a loose silk red button-down with a matching choker and glimmering earrings passing by him with a whiff of perfume overcoming Jisung’s nostrils. Surely, Jisung never forgot the golden tear that was painted on his cheek, and turned back, calling his attention, “Guess I’ve found mine faster than I thought.” 

You stared in worry as the man with the golden tear stopped on his tracks and faced Jisung, and you didn’t fail to notice the way Jisung’s breath hitched at the way the man looked him up and down, his cat-like eyes boring into his before his lips stretched into a smirk, nudging Jisung over to the booth. Pleased, Jisung looked at the both of you, and patted you on the back. “Catch you tomorrow, [First Name]. I feel like I’ll end up on his bed tonight.” 

“And you’ll be catching a woman in mine.” Hyunjin whistled at one of the party girls, eyefucking her by the back of her backless cocktail dress. Your eyes widened at what your roommate had just said, and grabbed him by the arm as soon as you found him straying further than you.“What? We sleep in the same room!” 

“I know that.” Hyunjin replied, his eyes still transfixed on the woman. “Do me favor, [First Name], and get laid.”

“Excuse me?! I didn’t sign up for this!” You exclaimed, grasping Hyunjin’s chin to veer his attention to yours. “You were the one who brought me here. You said you’d be by my side! What the hell ever happened to, ‘If you ever need us, Jisung and I are just around the corner’?” 

Hyunjin fell into a deep sigh and took your hand off his chin, staring at you intently. “Yeah, just around the corner fucking people. Besides, you were also the one who said that you needed a break from the ending of The Witcher, so Jisung and I brought you here to have a good time. Now,” he patted your cheeks, and flashed you a cheeky smile, “be a good girl for Hyunnie, and loosen the hell up. Drink a couple of tequila, grind on the dance floor, stuff dollars on strippers’ g-strings. Make tonight your night, [First Name].” 

With that, your roommate took off, leaving you completely lost at the end of the staircase. The music began to drown the entire space the moment you were left on your own, and the crowd seemed to double in your vision. Your heart raced as you took baby steps towards the crowd, searching for something to do, something to get your mind off this shriveling anxiety building up at the pit of your stomach. This club really wasn’t your style. You wished that you had never agreed to this, and continued ranting to your friends about how that ending of The Witcher blew your mind away. You wished that Hyunjin and Jisung had never brought you to this skanky and loud place, and brought you to some 24-hour fast food chain instead. Forgive them for being single and horny, but that was their fault, not yours. 

You were just steps away from the entrance and staggering into the bar when a hand suddenly slid to grasp your waist. Panic swelled up on your chest as your lungs constricted with alcohol-laden oxygen from the slurred man hanging himself over to your side, cheeks flushed and breath hot with beer. “Hey, beautiful.” He hummed, leaning closer to you. “I seem to have lost my tongue. Can I have yours in my mouth instead?” 

Your nose scrunched up at the overpowering smell of beer coming out of his own mouth, and your heart thumped harder on your chest the moment you felt his terribly hot breath fanning your neck. You wanted to scream, scream out for anybody just to get this man off you. His grasp on your waist was strong, and if you even tried to make a move, he might have his hands elsewhere on your body that you really didn’t want to feel. You stumbled on your own words, and settled for a shy grin instead whilst trying to pry his fingers off you. “I’m sorry, sir, you must have the wrong girl.” 

The drunken man took you up in down before cackling at your face. “Please, I think I’ve got the right one. Why don’t we move this little conversation over to the booth.” Then, he lowered his eyes to your chest, before looking up at you with lust-filled eyes. “I’d love to know what’s underneath this dress, baby.” 

Before you could deny his perverted claims, the lights suddenly shun on your peripheral, catching your attention from the drunk man to the stage. Your eyes widened in curiosity as a man suddenly appeared in front of the stage, suddenly drawing every woman’s attention to him in a crazed manner. They all crowded towards him, reaching out towards him with bucks flailing on their hands even though the man hasn’t performed yet. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the host announced, loud and clear on your ears, “the man of the hour, Starboy!” 

The lights dimmed, and the lights turned red and white upon the spotlight shining across the man’s face. He was posed on the center of the stage, eyes closed and one knee propped up as part of his starting pose. He looked absolutely alluring in that loose, black and gold-striped button-down and black leather pants, and his hair was curled to the side, sweeping all the way so that his forehead was showing. He was flushed with makeup from the lushed, peach lips to the familiar golden tear on his cheek, and the wind that blew behind him made him stand out more, made him look ten times more captivating to you. 

Then, he opened his eyes, and before you knew it, your hands were off the last man who hit on you, and your body found its way to the tethering crowd, all thirsting and growling for more of his performance. You never minded the bumps on your shoulder or the push and shove of your body from the countless screams and jumps, but as you found yourself to the center of the crowd, your vision hyper-focused on the man named ‘Starboy’ and him only. 

His performance was every bit ethereal as it could get; a perfect outline of his abs flashed like pale porcelain on the spotlight, the curve of his hips as he ground down to the sensual, slow beat of the music, the tease of his fingers on the buttons, loosening each button until his top was discarded on the floor. You found women screaming even louder and stuffing dollars into his leather pants, while Starboy flashed them charming grins with dimples that could kill. You realized that you were standing at the front of the stage when you found him standing in front of you, panting, topless, and irresistible. “Well?” He husked, grin smug. “Is that dollar for show, honey, or are you going to give it to me?” 

You never got what he was referring to until you found yourself holding a dollar on your very hands. You must’ve unconsciously got it out of your purse as you were watching him, and at that thought, your mind went on a momentary overdrive before hesitantly stuffing the dollar on the side of his hip. You released a breath you never knew you held when Starboy sent you his thanks, and occupied himself with the rest of the crowd, and it was as of this night that you couldn’t forget what you had just done. Could you believe that once upon a time in your life, as you watched those strip club scenes, you told yourself that you’d never do such a thing like that? Yet, here you were, sending off money to the man who made you feel terrible, but surprisingly aroused. His performance was surely one of a kind, and it didn’t help one bit that after the performance, as you sat on that bar, drowning yourself with vodka, that his husky, panting voice echoed on your ear, haunting you for good. 

It was nearing 11 in the evening that night when you downed your fourth vodka-infused cooler, and that’s when the alcohol started hitting you in the head, making you a little dizzy. You tried your very best to forget what you did back there, but Starboy’s very own appearance just stuck to you like a vivid memory that could never be forgotten. Thankfully enough, you were in a foul enough mood to have any other guy piss off, and you were glad that none of them were trying anything on you, not until a man suddenly came up to the bar beside you, and heeded the bartender. “Aye Lixie, some Smirnoff for me and a water for the lady over here, thanks.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed at the familiarity of his voice, but your irritability got to the best of you as you snapped at the man. “I didn’t ask for water, dumbass, knock it off.” The moment you turned to give him a piece of his mind, your words ran dry on your throat when you saw the man at the center of your thoughts in full flesh, looking back at you with that same smug look he gave you earlier. He was back to his black and gold striped button-down, but the golden tear was still painted on his right cheek, glimmering against the neon lights flashing against his face. Your eyes immediately widened at what you had just told him, and turned your gaze to your half-finished cooler, suddenly embarrassed. “Oh...I’m sorry I said that…” 

“It’s no problem.” Starboy chuckled, and thanked the bartender for giving him his Smirnoff. You thanked him too for giving you some water, but you still drew your finger on the rim of your cooler, embarrassed enough to even look up at him. “So, I take it that you’re a newbie here. You came alone?” 

You shook your head at that, and forced yourself to look up at him. “My friend and my roommate brought me here. My roommate’s over there, eating that girl’s face,” you gestured him towards the booth where you both found Hyunjin clashing tongues with the women he hit on earlier, “and my friend’s probably somewhere else with some dude with the red silk top.” 

Starboy’s head perked up at that, and smiled gently. “Ah, you must be talking about Jewel then.” He chuckled when you raised a brow at him, as if wondering how he knew the man you were referring to. “He’s one of my best friends. We only had each other here when this club first started, well, him and Felix over there.” He nudged his head to the bartender, Felix, who was busy shaking up a margarita. “His name isn’t actually Jewel.” Starboy carried on once he knew you were listening. “His name’s Minho.” He took an ample sip from his Smirnoff, and looked at you, smiling oddly tender. “It’s thanks to them that I finally have a job here. If it weren’t for them, I…” 

You looked up from your cooler, and found Starboy stirring at his own bottle, as if deep in thought. You wanted to pry further on how he managed to land a job at a place like this, but instead, you focused your eyes onto the golden tear on his cheek. “What’s that mean? The tear on your cheek.” 

Starboy was confused for a moment before he brought his fingertips to the base of his cheek, patting the glittered gold spread on it. “Ah, this? This is the mark of a stripper. All strippers who work here need to have this mark. It’s to distinguish between the strippers and performers. Performers have blue tears and only get to be on stage. Strippers have golden ones and have the whole booth to themselves.” 

“Then,” you prompted, eyes still fixed on the golden tear on his cheek, pondering on his performance earlier, “why do you wear it as gold?” 

The smile that spread on Starboy’s lips was enough to have women on their knees before him, enough to have you on your knees as well. However, as he leaned closer just enough for you to hear him through the droning crowd, you found yourself staying in place this time prior to when you first had to pull back from a man. “I’m a special case, darling.” That was all he said, and gave you a flirtatious wink before setting off, leaving you alone on the bar, processing what he just said. 

“Wait!” You shouted afterwards, and Starboy stopped on his tracks before turning back to you. “I didn’t get your name, Starboy.” 

If a smile could light up an entire room like starlight, then Starboy’s smile would’ve lit the entire club by the flash of his own. He was taking small steps towards you, as if pondering whether or not he should give his actual name to a complete stranger. You understood if he didn’t. After all, you both barely knew each other, and who’s to say that the both of you would meet again? It was most unlikely for you, considering that you vowed to never enter a strip club again even if Jisung or Hyunjin told you to. However, his eyes widened as he looked above your shoulder, and you could see impending fear building up on his eyes as he suddenly stepped backwards, ready to flee. “What’s wrong?” You asked him worriedly. 

“Fuck. Jisung.” Starboy muttered under his breath, but loud enough for you to hear. You turned around to see who he was referring to, until shockingly enough, you found your best friend walking towards the bar with the most lovestruck expression on his face, probably reaching out to you. “Why is he here? He’s not supposed to be--” You whipped your head back to Starboy, but he was nowhere to be found. You were left with utter confusion and slight disappointment. How did Starboy know Jisung? Were they related? Did Jisung set some history between him and Starboy to make him disappear like that? You glanced over to the discarded Smirnoff resting atop the polished black tiles, leaving wet circles on the concrete from the water that dripped down from the half-full bottle, and sighed upon your own, wondering where he had gone off to. 

“[FIRST NAME]!” Jisung’s obnoxiously loud and cheery voice almost destroyed your eardrums as usual, only this time it was worse because you were in a club. He slung his arm over your shoulder and giggled onto your shoulder, acting like a complete drunk fool in love. “God, I just had the most AMAZING striptease ever!” He squeaked the word “amazing” in your ear, and you flinched upon the frequency it brought upon your beloved eardrums. “Man, that Jewel guy is flexible as hell! His upper body’s alright, it’s lean and good enough for me, but Lord help me, the thighs, [First Name]! He was grinding on my fucking cock and I could’ve sworn his thighs felt like Heaven. Oh,” he sobbed onto you, clinging on you for dear life, “I wanna fuck him, [First Name]! Please!” 

“I’m not some damn whorehouse owner, and Jewel isn’t a prostitute!” You slapped his hands off your waist, bothered by the heat he was radiating off to you. “What the hell happened to him anyway? I thought you said that you’d end up in his bed tonight?” 

“Oh, I will.” Jisung wriggled his eyebrows at you and slammed a piece of paper with his number on it. “Not only that, I got his number. You know what this means, right? You know what this fucking means?!” He slapped the piece of paper onto your chest, and you sighed exasperatedly at him, snatching his wrist to stop. “Your commitment level has risen up to Level 2?” 

Jisung batted his eyelashes at this before scoffing and whacking you on the forehead. “No, dumbass, he’s gonna want to see me more! No stripper has ever given me their number before, not until Jewel!” He looked over to where Jewel sat, giving his next customer his undivided attention as his customer talked about money and most probably wages. He looked exceptionally bored as he watched him speak, but when he spared Jisung a glance, the stripper twinkled him with a wink and a smirk before going back to his customer, leaving Jisung to fawn and lean himself closer to you. “Aw, I think I’ve hit the jackpot! Don’t you think, [First Name]--[First Name], where are you going?!” 

“Out.” You responded back, your throat hoarse from impending disappointment and the after effects of the alcohol scorching at the sides. It was a complete understatement for you to feel at least slightly outraged; the man who had literally saved your life with his captivating performance revealed himself to you, but your best friend just had to swoop in and fend him off. Your thoughts clouded with that last bit, that split second when Starboy uttered Jisung’s name and disappeared into the crowd and out of your life. The frightened look he gave when Jisung approached you was clearly something out of the ordinary, and it left you to wonder how the two knew each other. However, those thoughts were quickly diminished by the want to leave the club this very instant, and snatched your wrist away from Jisung’s grasp on it. “I can’t stay here any longer. I’m sorry, Ji.” 

Without giving him any space to respond, you quickly made your way out of the dancefloor and up the stairs towards the entrance. You dimly dismissed Jisung’s “See you at your birthday party!” as you skimmed through the crowd, and finally made your way out of the club, wanting no more than to finally settle in the comfort of your own apartment with a certain man running at the center of your thoughts. 

You didn’t even notice the man himself watching you exit the strip club, and neither did you need to know that you have been in the center of his own thoughts the moment he captivated you in the middle of his performance. Without a word, he flickered his gaze from the staircase back to the dancefloor and decided to heed for an early leave, his excuse being that he was merely exhausted when the truth was that he couldn’t focus on anything else but you on his mind. 

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control Chapter One

soooo tumblr for some reason deleted the masterlist and first three chapters of this fanfic... so I’m awkwardly reposting them. lol. sorry about this.

but please feel free to read this:) 

i barely even remember what this is about... but i think it’s sort of a modern retelling of ACOMAF... Feyre and Rhysand are competitive swimmers in college. enjoy. 

ONE

The music sounded like it had been blaring for hours by the time Tamlin and I walked into the ramshackle college-student house. Hosted by Helion, this Halloween party was sure to be over the top. Possibly dangerous. Definitely fun.

I adjusted my sheet.  I knew Tamlin would have preferred me to wear something a little sexier to the swim team Halloween party, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it. I didn’t feel like having eyes on me. I wanted to drink, get drunk, and go home with Tamlin. Limited social interaction. The ghost costume--a simple sheet with eye holes very poorly cut into it--was the perfect way to blend in. 

I also had lingerie on underneath the leggings and loose t-shirt I was wearing beneath the sheet. The incentive I had used to convince Tamlin to stop teasing me about wearing a slutty nurse outfit instead of the enormous sheet. 

Hopefully he would be too drunk later tonight for me to need to show the lingerie to him. I wasn’t in the mood. Hadn’t been for a while. 

He held the door open for me, pushing me by my ass through the doorway and into swim team chaos. 

Music blaring, very drunk swimmers everywhere, I was instantly grateful for my sheet. People were all over each other already--swimcest, we called it. That was what you partook in when you kissed/made out with/slept with one of your team members. A favorite pastime of most swim teams across the country, and one I apparently had no qualms about engaging in--with Tamlin. 

I made a beeline for the kitchen, not checking to make sure Tamlin followed. He would probably get handed a beer somewhere along the way and wouldn’t come to find me until he was drunk enough to want to make out. Yay.

I grabbed the nearest alcoholic beverage I could find--a handle of vodka--and pulled a sprite out of the fridge. I dumped the two together into a very large cup, slipped it under my sheet, and slipped back through the crowd into the living room to keep an eye on Tamlin. Taking up a spot on the couch, I started sucking down my drink and praying that nobody would want to socialize with me. I didn’t think I had the energy or enthusiasm to carry on a conversation right now. Or ever. 

One hour and several drinks later, I ran out of the vodka-orange juice I had been switched to drinking. I was growing tired of watching Tamlin play beer pong and grow steadily drunker in the center of the living room, and so far I’d been fine curled up on the couch, drinking and staring at my phone.  I was about to venture back through the crowd to find more alcohol when a guy and a girl from the middle distance group collapsed onto the couch, nearly falling directly on top of me. I lunged to the side, now pressed up into the arm of the couch. I identified the two (extremely drunk) swimmers as Amren and Cassian--and they were definitely making out. Like, intensely. 

I knew those two were pretty close, part of a clique on the team that I was not a member of nor had any interest in joining. Them making out probably didn’t mean anything. Honestly, nothing that happens between swimmers at a party means anything. I did wish they didn’t have to do it so uncomfortably close to me. I squeezed past them and headed back toward the kitchen, definitely feeling way past tipsy now. I didn’t want to think about all the vodka I had had in the past hour. 

A shock of cold air. Someone had torn my sheet off and I felt suddenly exposed to the whole room in my t-shirt and leggings. “Tamlin! What the hell?”

“Hey Feyre.” He was slurring. Very drunk already. Great. “Why’d you wear a sheet? You look so pretty underneath it.”

I knew I was blushing, and I knew everyone within five feet of us could hear everything that was going on. I clenched my jaw at the feeling of their eyes on my back. “Tamlin, can I have my sheet back? Please.” I gritted out. 

“I like you better like this,” he said, and pulling me close by my hips, he pressed his lips to mine in what was not the best kiss I’d ever experienced, to say the least. He was sweaty, and his breath smelled like beer, and this was a very public kiss. I was certain everyone was watching. 

As a swimmer, I was pretty strong. But Tamlin was also a swimmer, and trying to pull free of him was no small feat. And by now I realized that I was not only tipsy, but extremely drunk. I twisted around, his grip on my hips starting to hurt before he let go of me, too drunk to really pursue anything right now. Thank God. I could feel the entire room’s eyes on us. I gave up the sheet as a lost cause and fled as fast as I could, snatching a beer from the fridge and tripping over my own feet as I blundered out the back door of the house. It was kind of chilly out, so the backyard was empty as I laid eyes on a folding table around the corner.  College guys. Their furniture choices made no sense--they had a table and no chairs.  

Stumbling a little, I took a seat on the edge of the table and pulled my feet up. I cracked open the beer. I was not going to cry. Nothing had really happened. Except for my boyfriend stealing my costume, announcing to the party that I looked better exposed, and forcing himself on me while I struggled and no one did anything to help. Tamlin was the king of the swim team-- a captain, the cool guy, and extremely fast. He may not be the fastest, but he was definitely the most popular. Crossing him meant an intense bout of hazing or a team-wide shun.

I jumped, beer sloshing onto my lap a little. The screen door banged open and then shut around the corner. 

“Feyre?” A vaguely familiar voice issued into the night.  I tried to stay very quiet in the hopes that the person would leave me alone, but then he appeared. 

Rhysand Night. A junior. Smart, tall, and incredibly ripped. Fast in the water. A mystery to most of us on the team. Clad in all black, I wasn’t really sure if he was in any sort of costume. His black hair fell haphazardly across his gorgeous face--I chided myself for noticing his beauty while I was with Tamlin. But it was true. He was beautiful. And in his hand. . . 

My sheet.

“I’m really sorry to bother you. . . I’m sure you want to be alone. But I found this in the living room and I thought I would return it.” He took a few steps closer and I had to blink a couple times to keep the world steady. I really was quite drunk.

“Thanks,” I managed, and took it, trying to pull it over my legs but fumbling it and my beer.  My feet got caught in the sheet as I drew it up and then I was falling off the table.  

I dropped the beer and blindly stretched out my arms as I slid forward off the edge. I barely had time to worry about landing face first in the mud—

Warm hands grasped my shoulders and settled me on my feet.  Reflexively, I grabbed his elbows and steadied myself.

Quite drunk, indeed.

“Uh. . . Are you okay?” I dragged my gaze upward. Swallowed. 

Tears filled my eyes. Shit. I was never getting this drunk again. Ever. 

“Fine, ssso fine,” I slurred, then realized I was still grasping his elbows. I recoiled as though he was suddenly hot to the touch. “Thanks for the sheet.” And then I raced back inside.

Only to be greeted by the sight of Tamlin, beer in one hand--and Ianthe in the other. 

They sat on the couch directly across from the back door.  Or rather, he sat on the couch, and she sat squarely on his lap. They were making out so intensely that it was hard to tell whose hands and face were whose.  

I blinked a couple times, making sure this wasn’t some kind of drunk hallucination.  

It wasn’t.  

I stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do or where to go. My phone was with Tamlin’s stuff, and I couldn’t very well drive myself. All I knew was that I had to get out of there--immediately.

Then Tamlin opened his eyes and saw me. Standing there. Watching them.  I couldn’t tell if the world was spinning because of how high my blood alcohol content was or because the love of my life was making out with someone who was supposed to be my friend. In front of everyone.

“Feyre--” He made to stand, Ianthe falling off his lap to the side and glaring at me. Ianthe, my training partner, my roommate--glaring at me. 

“No,” I said, much too loudly from the looks of all the swimmers surrounding us. And it felt like I was ripping my heart out as I forced the words out. “It’s over, Tamlin. So over. Go back to--whatever it is you’re doing.” 

And I fled back the way I had come, out the door and directly into the extremely muscular body of Rhys. I prayed that Tamlin didn’t try to follow me. 

Rhys’s hands gripped my shoulders again and this time I couldn’t hold my tears back. I exploded into very loud, very drunken sobs as he guided me back to the table I had just fallen off. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew all this was terribly wrong. Tamlin and Rhys had some sort of history that I had never been able to figure out. Tamlin hated him. My boyfriend--ex-boyfriend, now, I thought with no small amount of sadness--was ten feet away, in the arms of my closest friend on the team.  And I was outside, crying in front of a teammate I barely knew. A teammate barely anyone on the team knew. 

Ah, the boundaries that can be crossed while intoxicated.

Rhys’s smooth voice broke into my thoughts and I wondered how long I’d been sitting there crying while he sat next to me, a respectable distance away. Probably too long. But he was still there. “Can I get you anything? Water, maybe?”

I shook my head. “No, no. I think I’m just going to walk back to my neighborhood.” I jumped to my feet, then swayed. 

Rhys grabbed my elbow, gently, though. “I am not letting you walk home. Are any of your friends designated drivers tonight? Do they have an Uber account?” 

The only two friends I had really made on the team--Tamlin and Ianthe--were definitely out of the question. “No. And my phone is in there. . . and I have no way to get home.” Shit.

Rhys guided me back onto the table. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” 

After a few minutes of his absence, I remembered what had just happened and my tears reemerged in full force. And then after another few minutes, they intensified as I became certain that Rhys was not coming back. I’d have to get home, inebriated beyond belief, by myself. I edged off the table and had gone all of two steps before the screen door banged open again. “Did you think I was just going to abandon you out here?” 

“Uh. . .” 

He raised his brows, and I noticed how incredibly sad his eyes looked. He blinked and it was gone. I shook my head--my drunk ass was making shit up. “Can I drive you home? I promise I’m sober. I’m DD for my friends tonight. They aren’t planning on leaving for another hour, so I can drop you off somewhere safe before then.” 

I’d already weighed the options in the time he’d been gone. My only option was accepting his offer. Unless I wanted to venture back inside and destroy the scrap of dignity I had left by asking Tamlin where my phone was or begging Ianthe to get me an Uber home. “Yeah. Thank you.” 

He nodded. “I found your phone.” He handed it to me, then told me to follow him around the house before I could ask how he had gotten it. I made it all of five steps before I tripped over a huge crack in the sidewalk. Rhys was there instantly, his arm sliding around my waist. I looked up at him. His jaw was clenched, eyes directly ahead. “Not much farther,” he said quietly as he led me down the sidewalk and out to the street. He ushered me into the passenger side of a black SUV, his arm retracting from around my waist as though I was now the one who was hot to the touch. 

I slumped in the seat. My tears had dried. I was transitioning into a state of shock and trying to sober up as quickly as possible. I didn’t think Rhys would try anything… But my faith in males right now had dropped considerably lower tonight. Rhys jumped into the driver’s seat and started the car. “You live in Astrid Oaks, right? The townhouses near downtown?” I nodded, my eyes closed and my head leaned against the headrest. 

After a few minutes of silence, Rhys blew out a long breath. “Do you. . . want to talk about it?” 

I was sobering up a little bit by now.  “No. Yes. Um…”

“It’s okay. I was just asking.” 

“It’s just that. . .”

And then it all spilled out, along with fresh tears. “He told me he loved me. Every day for the past year. I have changed my life for him. Put up with his endless partying, his flirting, him being entitled to everything and everyone on the swim team. His big head. Him treating his best friend like shit.” Some of the things flying out of my mouth were annoyances I had never allowed myself to acknowledge concerning my relationship with Tamlin. “And I’ve barely made any friends on this team because I’ve been so wrapped up by him since my freshman year, and he just cheated on me with Ianthe, who of course is perfect, in front of half the team. And I live with her. Fuck.” I had been blind. So blind. 

I slumped back into my seat.  Then I realized what I had just said--to the one guy Tamlin hated the most on the team. 

“Sorry. . . Can you forget I just said all that?” 

Rhys nodded, his eyes fixed firmly on the road in front of him.  After a while, though, he said, “Don’t freak out because I have totally already forgotten everything you said to me. But for what it’s worth. . . Everything you said to me. . . You deserve better.”

And that was that.  

Rhys walked me to my door, finding the spare key hidden under the mat and letting me into my own house.  I turned to thank him and then gagged. I was going to puke. I spun on my feet and rushed for the half bathroom down the hall.  I barely made it to the bathroom before I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet.  Again. And again. And again. 

Warm hands pulled my hair away from my face as I leaned over the toilet.  Upon reevaluation, it looked like that last scrap of dignity was long gone by now. Lucky me. 

When I finally felt stable enough to sit up straight, his hands removed themselves from my hair. I couldn’t face him. Who was this guy? I’d only ever heard the worst things from Tamlin about him. . . But I barely knew Rhys, and now he was retrieving my phone from the beyond, driving me home, and holding my hair back while I threw up. Listening to me rant uncontrollably about all my problems. He probably had some sort of agenda that I wasn’t picking up on. He didn’t seem to be trying to take advantage of me though. 

Using the toilet seat to stand, I flushed the toilet and turned to find the bathroom empty.  I padded into the kitchen. I found Rhys halfway across the floor, a cup of water in hand.  “Here. I’ve been there too. Too many times. Sip some of this.”

This wasn’t the first time I’d drunk myself into oblivion and sickness, but I thanked him and sipped the water as we stood there in the dark kitchen, neither of us saying a thing. He was probably just staying there to make sure I didn’t pass out or something.  

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked.  “Seriously. There’s no one I can call for you?”

I placed my cup in the sink, my back to him.  I was sober enough by now to realize that Rhys had done enough for me tonight. For forever. He had already made a lot of sacrifices--for reasons unbeknownst to me--tonight. All for me. It was time for him to leave. “Rhys. I’ll be fine. I think I’m done puking. I’ve embarrassed myself enough for tonight and don’t think I can stand another minute of it. I promise. I’m going straight to bed after this.”

I turned and found him already on the other side of the kitchen, hands in his pockets, his beautiful face half in shadow. “Okay. I put my number in your phone, so if you think you’re going to suddenly die of alcohol poisoning or something, call me. It won’t be a bother.”

I nodded, somehow even more shocked at his kindness. He turned to go, and I said, so quietly that I wasn’t sure he’d hear, “I can’t thank you enough for. . . everything.”

He smiled. “It was no trouble at all. What are teammates for?” 

I stared at him as he left the kitchen. Heard the front door open and close.  

Teammates, indeed. It seemed as though I knew a lot less about some of my teammates than I thought I did.

[twdthot]

Causalties Part 1

SUMMARY: (Season 6-?) Millie is innocent, as innocent one can be in the apocalypse. When her group starts killing people from a group called the Saviors, Millie can't help but feel wrong. But in the end, everyone knows innocence is the first causality of war.

PAIRING: OCxNegan

WARNINGS: slow burn, violence & blood (twd things), swearing

AN: i really am just winging this whole fanfiction thing, feedback is appreciated <3

1300+ WORDS

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"We're going to kill them in their sleep?" I sputtered, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. Rosita had explained it over and over to me, rationalizing the massacre that was going to take place later tonight. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't wrap my head around it.

"If we don't do something now we'll end up like the people at Hilltop or maybe worse," She repeated what she had been trying to instil into me the last hour. She kept trying to drill that it was well deserved, but my unwilling brain was screaming in opposition. With how much effort she was putting into convincing, I wonder if she was trying to convince herself too.

I've known Rosita since the beginning of the end of the world. We lived right next to one another in the same apartment complex before all the madness ensued. I was too intimated by her to ever talk to her before the apocalypse, but when I saw dead people eating one another all bets were off. She was leaving and seemed to know what she was doing, so I asked to come with. I didn't have anyone else, minus a couple friends, and Rosita didn't seem to mind. Quickly, Abraham found us with Eugene and we were sent on a mission to get Eugene to DC.

I was never really a strong type. I usually hung back with Eugene. I was the "last leg of protection" according to Abraham, but I really knew he just didn't want me getting in the way. Or throwing up. I tended to do that when the walkers were particularly disgusting. Luckily, because I had been nurse before, they found me valuable enough not pressure me into the front lines. But that only made me feel incredibly guilty when others got hurt.

People joined us here and there on the mission to DC, some left and most died. Eventually, Glen and Tara came along and then Maggie. Then Eugene revealed the truth. Everything seemed to fall apart for a bit. I won't lie, I was disappointed when I found out there wasn't a cure. But I think I realized it was too good to be true long before.

Terminus was a bust and is now a special folder in my trauma cabinet. That's how we met Rick and the rest of his group. They were good people, and even better survivors. I was grew closest with Carol after we met her outside of Terminus. She liked to take care of me and always tried to toughen me up. Sometimes I talk with Daryl too, whenever he actually felt like talking. 

After Terminus, came Aaron. He came to us when we needed something the most. We had been on the outside for too long, or at least that's what Michonne would say. I could see her point. We were losing ourselves to the outside. We were going to die by surviving, a tough and slow death. Although there was some mistrust, we finally gave Aaron a pinch of trust.

Now we have Alexandria. A home. A place to fight for. After the drama with native Alexandrians ended, I finally let myself feel safe. Of course that rug was pulled out from under me when the Wolves broke in. Another folder in the cabinet. That's one I don't care to ever open.

Finally, as we were rebuilding, Jesus came along. I understand Rick's desire to obtain them as an ally, or at least I think I do. They have resources we need and the most valuable thing we have to offer is our skills to kill. Not necessarily me, but the others.

However every time we had to kill before this, we were attacked first. Whenever we killed people they were undoubtedly bad. They hurt us. It was kill or be killed. That's what Carol told me after she found me with the Wolf man.

This was different.

We were going out of our way to kill. I always have had good intuition, and I had a horrible gut feeling about this. I can't help, but think we're poking a sleeping bear.

"From what Maggie told me the Saviors sound like bad news..." I mumbled, nervous. I was always nervous speaking my mind, especially in this environment. Everyone has to have their opinions of course, but it's a lot more cut throat nowadays. If you thought differently than the group's majority it seemed like you'd get shunned. I noticed that happened to Morgan after he tried to explain to the group his pacifism.

"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have told you. You aren't coming anyways." Rosita sighed, looking tired. The plan tonight didn't seem to be the only thing stressing her out. Abraham had been distant apparently. There was probably more to that story, but I didn't want to upset her further. But I knew what I was going to say next would anyways.

"Actually..." I fiddled with my shirt, unable to meet her eyes, "I am going."

"I'm sorry?" Rosita sounded like she genuinely didn't hear me, but I knew she had.

"Rick asked me to come on the mission tonight. He wanted to have someone on hand just in case someone gets hurt. I didn't know what I was agreeing to at the time but... yeah. That's why I asked you about it in the first place." I gulped when I saw Rosita's eye start to twitch. She always has been very protective of me. It's probably because I'm weak and she feels bad. I know she does the same thing for Eugene.

It's okay because I know I'm weak. But it's mostly because I can't hurt people. Even if they're hurting me. Rosita has tried to help me toughen up time and time again, but I always flop. Carol too. Even Abraham gave it a go, but he gave up in ten minutes flat and told me I was an angel. It was a nickname he never gave up.

"Why can't Denise go?" Rosita snapped more, looking upset.

"Denise hasn't been outside yet, I know how the outside works. Besides I'm just a nurse... Denise has done surgery." I explain, but Rosita didn't look any more calm.

"She's a psychologist! You're more valuable. You shouldn't go!" She began to pace, riling herself up.

"A psychologist that saved Carl from a gunshot wound." I pointed out, but it didn't seem to help much.

"Exactly! She should come in case something like that happens again..." She sighed heavily, clearly frustrated.

"Don't argue with me," I held my hands up in surrender, "Take it up with Rick."

"You're right I'm sorry, it's just you shouldn't be around this," She finally seemed to settle, even if it was just slightly.

"So you admit it's not good?" I asked bravely.

"Of course it's not good, we're killing people," Rosita sighed, not wanting to start up again.

"It's murdering people..." I sighed too, just as tired.

"I can't argue anymore and I can't change Rick's mind. Just be careful tonight." She looked serious and forced me to keep eye contact.

"I'll try. But you need to be careful too." I reached out and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze in which she returned.

"I will," She pulled away and started for the exit, "Love you." She batted her eyelashes at me teasingly and shoved me after I was quiet for too long.

"Love you too, freak." I finally returned with a smile, cheering up a tad.

"Weirdo." She quipped back before leaving the room I shared with Eugene. He was a bit of creep of a roommate, but he wasn't messy and he always shared his midnight snacks with me. 

I settled back into bed, attempting to take a nap before we had to hit the road. I couldn't seem to fall asleep though. I was too paranoid that this was going to go bad.

When I finally began to dose off, I remembered something the butterfly affect.

Every action has a reaction.

comment to be added to taglist x

[drethanramslay]

Part 2: Therapy

Pairing: Aurora x MC ( Iris Everette)

Word count: 3.2K words

Previous part is here

Warning: Includes triggers like eating disorders and mental illnesses

Tagging: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @vampiregirlsblog @lilyofchoices (let me know if you want to be tagged😊)

Songs: Therapy by All Time Low and Feelings by Lauv

Forgive me if I make any mistakes 🙈

Aurora stood in the kitchen, tapping her fingers on the kitchen island. It was six in the morning and she knew that her roomates would be waking up in the next half an hour so that they get ready and head to the hospital.

Aurora just don't stand there like a mannequin, move your ASS.

Aurora wanted to make breakfast for her roommates as a gesture of thanks for letting them stay with her for the past three months. She also wanted to impress Iris. Not that the ship had sunk but, she wanted to reciprocate for all the cute gestures she had done so far. Like buying her breakfast at iHOP and having Disney movie marathons, cuddling in her bed.

It had been three weeks since Iris was discharged from the hospital. God, she was a horrible patient. That girl had the audacity to show up in her hospital gown, dragging the saline with her for her rounds at 5am in the morning.

And that's not it.

When they sent her to her room to sleep, they ended up finding her with Amar, her nine year old patient. She was CHECKING on him apparently. It was a joy ride for Dr. Ramsey to explain the parents why their doctor was roaming around in a hospital gown, looking like a lunatic who escaped from the psychiatric ward. It was hilarious to see Ramsey getting worked up over Iris, like a mother hen.

It was so hard to deal with her stubborn nature but there were good times as well. Times like when Aurora would feed her the bland hospital food. Or the times when they played that question game.

Aurora learnt a lot over those two days in the hospital. Things like how Iris was a valentine baby. Or how she loved playing the piano, guitar and singing, her obsession with KitKat and the list goes on and on.

What Aurora enjoyed the most, was sleeping and cuddling with Iris. Aurora craved Iris every night after that, but she didn't dare say it loud so that she didn't look clingy.

And here she was, trying to make breakfast. She settled on making bacon.

How hard could it be?

Well, she got her answer when she almost set the fire alarm. "ARGH YOU PIECE OF-" Aurora shouted in frustration. Smoke was everywhere and she opened the windows to let most of it out.

She looked at the burnt bacon and grimaced. "Stupid goddamn pig!"

Her roommates stepped out, groggy with tired eyes. "What's burning?" Sienna asked.

"Outta the way! I have a fire extinguisher." Elijah said as he zoomed towards the kitchen. He was going so fast that it almost seemed like he was gonna do a wheelie on his wheelchair.

Aurora held her hands up. "Whoa whoa! Calm down everybody...I just burnt breakfast."

"Awww...you wanted to surprise us with breakfast??" Iris cooed as she leaned on the counter, her voice groggy and her eyes sleepy. "Key word being 'wanted'. I know you all have been so nice to me...so I just wanted to return the gesture." Aurora pouted.

Iris just giggled and walked around the island counter. "You are so precious, Rory." She kissed Aurora on the cheek.

Aurora was taken aback. She felt her face heating up and thanked the lord that her dark skin covered her blush.

"Oh god.. Can y'all stop being cute for like a minute?" Jackie groaned but, she could see the teasing glint in her eyes.

Iris just rolled her eyes. "Ignore her Rory. What if I teach you how to achieve prime crispy bacon?" Iris asked as she dumped the pan in the sink and took out a new one.

Aurora smiled. "Yeah, that would be nice."

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Aurora had finished checking in on her patients by two p.m and she headed towards the cafeteria to have her lunch. She wasn't that hungry but she knew that she won't get an opportunity to eat later.

She made sure her pager was on so that she could have constant updates on the patient in room 304, that had arrived this morning.

It was a teen girl who had swallowed a fork. When she sat to speak with her, she learnt that the teen had eaten her lunch and headed to the bathroom so that she could puke.

"How did you end up swallowing the fork?" Aurora asked Elyanna when she was awake and conscious.

"I kept on trying...but it didn't work...so I tried to go deeper and- it got stuck."

Aurora shut her eyes as she felt a pang in her heart. This case hit home. Reminding her of the vicious cycle of her eating disorder she had to break, all by herself. Her father brushed it off as a puberty thing and her mother actually congratulated her when she became thin and weak.

She loved her parents, despite them treating her like a trophy child, who always complained about how what she was doing wasn't enough. She even got a chewing down by her parents when she didn't make the diagnostics team. But she didn't care, because Iris deserved it completely.

I mean, they are your parents, you can't hate them. They brought you into this world. Right?

She finished her salad and coke while she scrolled through the phone, making a list of rehab programs which she thought Elyanna would like. Crushing her can, she headed towards the room.

"Hey, Ellie. How are you feeling?" Aurora asked kindly as she opened the chart.

"Wierd." Aurora looked at the blue eyes and raised her eyebrow.

"Like I have eaten a hearty meal. And I am satisfied." The frail girl said with a small smile.

"Never thought I would hear that about hospital food." She chuckled and the girl giggled.

"But on a serious note, I am happy and proud of you."

"For eating a meal?"

"Yes. See, I know what it's like. I-" Aurora took a deep breath, "I too, used to binge eat and then puke it all out. Somedays, I would starve myself as a punishment. The day when I decided that 'No, we are going to stop this right here right now' and ate a good meal, I felt... liberated."

"I also want to be liberated from this but it's like an addiction...the need to look thin and beau-" the girl stammered.

"No! Don't for a second think that you are not beautiful. Don't let society's image of small breasts, thin waist determine beauty. Beauty is what comes from within. Beauty is not covering up your scars, but wearing it like a goddamn medal. Beauty is fighting for yourself. Beauty is loving yourself. Beauty is breaking the stereotypes and being your own person. So promise me, you won't give a shitty excuse that you want to be beautiful." Aurora said assertively.

"Okay. I promise." The girl said, with a small smile.

"Good."

"So what are the steps from here on? I want to change and reset. I want to be the better version of Elyanna Johnson. Ellie 2.0"

"Well, first of all, you are all cleared to go home. You can choose which rehabilitation program you want. Then it's your path to rediscovering by yourself."

"I can choose??" The girl was bewildered, which showed that she really didn't have much choices in her life. That she was kept under contol, not allowed to have any freedom.

Aurora smiled. "Yes you can. We can talk to your parents, if you want."

"That would be amazing. Thank you so much doctor."

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"Your daughter has been diagnosed with purging disorder, and it has been confirmed by Dr. Francis, our resident psychiatrist." Aurora said to the parents, as they stood outside Elyanna's room.

"Purging?" The mother, Mrs. Washington asked.

"You daughter has been having eating disorders. It means that after eating, she forces herself to vomit. She was using the fork to induce it, but it slipped causing her to swallow and choke on it."

"Oh my god. How could I not notice it?" The mother gasped. Aurora rolled her eyes internally. She knew how oblivious her parents had been. In the last two hours, Ellie had opened up about them and Aurora was just plain disgusted.

Well, you would have noticed if you weren't so engrossed in your manicures and kitty parties.

"Eating disorders? That's just bullshit." Mr. Washington scoffed.

Aurora was taken aback. You gotta be kidding me..

"Sir, it's a real concerning matter. If untreated, it can lead to a tonnes of mental disorde-"

"Please. My girl Ellie has always been a tad dramatic. This is just a phase." He waved his hands dismissively.

"Sir, with all due respect, this is a very serious condition which requires rehab and thera-"

"Rehab??!! Therapy??!! What will our community think?? They will shun us." Mrs Washington exclaimed.

Mr. Washington placed a hand on his wife's shoulder, calming her silently before he turned his hard gaze at Aurora. "Dr. Emery. With all due respect, I know my daughter for the last seventeen years. A trip to our priest, will make all this- drama go away. Can we take her home?"

"But-" Aurora started before being interrupted by Mr. Washington. "Answer me."

Aurora gritted her teeth, counting till ten so that she could control the overwhelming need to punch the oblivious man's face.

"Yes."

Mrs. Washington clapped her hands. "Wonderful. C'mon honey, let's give out daughter the news." Aurora just stared through the window, looking at the spirit of the young girl, slowly draining out of her.

And she hated every second of it.

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Aurora was in the new resident's lounge, taking a nap. She had been on her feet all day, running from one corner to another. Her legs were throbbing and were sore. She draped her coat over her face so that she could block out the light.

"What's up Big A?" Bryce asked as he threw himself on the other couch, groaning at the relief his back felt when it touched the soft cushions. He had had a tough neurosurgery which had extended for five hours. His hands were cramping from holding the clamps in place while Dr. Harper Emery worked her magic.

"Shut up Queen B. I want to nap." Aurora mumbled incoherently. Bryce just shook his head and closed his eyes. After a long moment, aurora broke the silence. "I'm scared."

"For what?"

"For my patient. I think she is suicidal."

"Why? Is she alone at the moment? Because if she is then we need someone checking on her continuously." Bryce said urgently. He knew how vulnerable these moments are.

"I have Danny checking on her every fifteen minutes. I think her parents broke her. Like... She has an eating disorder and she was completely on board to go to rehab and get well... but her parents, GOD THEY ARE SO INFURIATING. The mom is spineless, only worried about what other people think.. and the dad is so backward and refuses to believe that eating disorders are a thing. He thinks that a visit to the pastor will fix this." Aurora scoffs.

"Oh my-" Bryce was interrupted by the beeping of Aurora's pager. When she looked at the message, she bolted for the door. "Lahela, you are with me.  They are running a code on my patient."

"I'm with you." They both ran down the hallways and reached room 304. On entering the room they saw red. Red blood pooling on the side of the bed, while Ellie shook, vomiting.

"What the hell happened?" Aurora barked. "She just started puking blood not two minutes ago." The nurse said as they held the tray near her mouth.

"That's not supposed to happen, everything was fine when I checked an hour ago." Aurora ran around the bed and checked the vitals. Ellie had stopped puking and looked at Aurora and wheezed, "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore."

"Ellie WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

"Um, Big A?" Bryce called her. Aurora turned her head, eyes flashing. "I think I know how." He picked up the empty wrapper.

"I think she swallowed the scalpel."

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After a harrowing hour of surgery, Aurora marched towards the parents who were sitting in the waiting room. She walked up to them and showed them the bloodied scalpel, in a sealed plastic bag. "What is this supposed to mean?" Mr. Washington asked.

"This is what your daughter swallowed so that she could die."

The mother gasped while the father's jaw dropped. "Can't you see how serious this is? How this is bigger than any of us?" Aurora said in a cold voice.

"I-I- I didn't know.." the parents stuttered. "No. You do not get the right to say that. You damn well knew what was happening and chose to ignore medical advice. And it almost cost your daughter's life!!" Aurora spat out.

"We will heed by it from now on." Mr. Washington replied somberly, with teary eyes.

"You damn well should otherwise I-" Aurora began but she was interrupted by a voice. "Dr. Emery, can you help me with a patient?" Iris asked. Aurora sighed. "Yes Dr. Everette. I'm right behind you." Aurora sent a last poisonous glare their way before following Iris.

Iris dragged them into an empty on-call room, and locked the door. "Now tell me Rory, what happened?"

So Aurora spills about the events of the day, speaking so passionately, that Iris was blown away. She did not once interrupt her, intertwining their fingers and squeezing them to encourage her.

"I am just so pissed, I feel like breaking something." Aurora hissed. "Well...why don't you punch this...um...pillow?" Iris offered. Aurora stared for moment. "What? I don't have anything else to offer?!" Aurora just chuckled, tension slowly leaving her body.

"Okay, I will punch the shit out of this pillow." Iris stood up and held the pillow in front of her. Aurora landed a series of jabs and hard punches on it. They were so powerful that they pushed Iris towards the wall. When she felt her back against the wall she knew it was time to stop otherwise Aurora might end up punching her through the wall.

"Timeout!! Damn Rory, how did you learn to fight like that?"

"Been doing MMA for the last seven years. It helps deal with stress." Iris hummed and then sat on the bed. She pulled Aurora to sit in her lap, in such a way that her legs were thrown over Iris' thighs and she was facing Iris.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I have seen you work with patients before and you are very passionate about it, no doubt. But this is affecting you way more than usual... See, I don't want to be pry but, why?"

Aurora sighed. "Because seven years ago, I was her." Iris held her hands and squeezed, encouraging her.

"As you know, my family is practically royalty. My mother is an actress and dad's a surgeon. They were always in the limelight and that meant that I was too. So how I appeared was important to them. And I hated how I looked, overweight and ugly. Sometimes, I still do."

"Rory, you are not fat."

"Right now, no. But, then I was a little plump. I was a nerd, kept to myself, stayed at home all day. My parents didn't like that. They would continuously throw jabs at me like, 'Aurora, you ar so fat that you could break the weighing scale' or like 'Aurora I am surprised you haven't hogged the entire pantry' or my personal favourite, 'Aurora you are such a collosal waste of space. You don't do any activities, you just sit in your room on that damn phone of yours, not doing anything constructive'... When the actual truth was that I was busy reading medical articles, making notes.

I had tried working out but people would snicker and laugh. I was so goddamn tired. I was never enough. My parents were never satisfied. I know they cared for me and that they loved me but some days, the snide remarks would just become so..."

"Loud." Iris completed the sentence.

"So, I started starving myself. As a punishment for not being good enough. They would feed me and I would throw it up in my bathroom, because I wasn't deserving. I hated myself and I couldn't look at my reflection because the ugly would just jump out." Aurora was crying quietly.

Iris let her cry. Let her mourn over her past self. Letting her make peace with her young self.

"My neighbour, a sweet old lady, pointed out that I was way too weak. And I knew that I had taken it far. So I decided to stop this vicious cycle. I seeked help from a psychiatrist and started MMA."

"It's been seven years...but I don't think you recover from such a thing ever. I think a small part of me will always loathe myself. That I am still the weak, pathetic and fat girl. What is that saying? 'Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.'" Aurora shook her head and tears streamed down her face.

"Can I say something?" Iris asked as she cupped Aurora's face. She wiped the tears, and tucked stray pieces of hair that had escaped her immaculate bob cut, behind her ear. "I think you are the strongest-" she kissed Aurora's left cheek "-the bravest" she proceeded to kiss her right cheek "-the prettiest" she kissed her forehead "-and the smartest woman I have ever seen." She kissed her on the nose and Aurora giggled.

"I am lucky to know you Aurora. I look up to you and I love the way you don't let your past define you. Everyday I learn something new from you, and it inspires to be a better person. And I like all of you. The silly, the practical, the ugly and the happy."

Aurora was swooning. Her feelings for Iris just bubbled to the surface. Her heart was bursting for the green eyes girl in front for her.

And in that moment she knew, that she was the one for her. Aurora surged forward and pressed her lips to hers.

Iris was shocked so as to say. To think that Aurora would like her, baffled her. She will leave you when she gets to know... She returned the kiss, tenderly, holding onto Aurora, as if she would vanish. That this was just a dream.

The sweet kiss turned into a passionate one. Both of them poured their feelings into the kiss. Pouring their dreams and their fears. It was euphoria, rushing through their veins, igniting their bodies. Iris pulled Aurora closer to her, to feel everything. Her hands roamed, memorising the curves, the dips, the way their lips moved in perfect synchrony, like two halves uniting as a whole.

Both of them knew that there was no going back from here.

They eventually broke apart, so that they could catch their breath. Iris pecked her lips once, twice, thrice. "So, you like me huh?" Aurora asked breathless.

Iris chuckled and gave a soft smile. "Well I don't go around kissing people like that. So I think this is a clear indicator that I like you..."

"So will you date me?" Aurora asked hopefully.

"Obviously Rory. But I would like to ask you out properly if you don't mind."

"I will be waiting."

This was so hard to write... It's hard when your own parents just brush off your fears and worries...it's hard...that shouldn't discourage you, reach out to your friends and make your own support system.... If you want to talk my dms are always open

Anyways, let me know how you liked it.

Like and reblog :))

[skylander5000]

Home Is Where the Guilt-Tripping Is

read on Ao3

Summary: Laura returns home, tired after a mission with the Avengers, to an insecure Gabby Kinney. How is she going to make her feel better? Probably not in the way your thinking.

or

Gabby is feeling insecure because Laura had been spending so much time with the Avengers. Laura is quick to fix that.

A/n:  So a couple of things before you read. This is sort of my own headcanon. Doesn't really take place at a specific time in the X-23 comics. For context, just imagine post- Age of Ultron, except Laura was there.

Laura had just got home, fresh from a week-long mission with the Avengers, suit covered in a mixture of dirt and blood. She was desperate to get out of the dirtied blue and yellow spandex and into a hot shower. The cheap, dingy hotel Steve had them set up at didn't have hot water, so a scolding shower sounded like bliss to her aching joints. It felt like the metal of her claws was grinding at her bones, creating unwanted and painful friction.

She set down her go-bag on the kitchen counter and stripped off the jacket she used for cover. In the dead of night, the bottom portion of her costume just looked like graphic leggings. If a pedestrian were to stop her, the possibility of anyone recognizing the pattern on them to be Wolverine's was unlikely. But just in case, Laura was regularly altering the suit's design to avoid that scenario. Besides, there was only a baseline for what the Wolverine looked like; muscular, dark hair, fitted in something resembling a yellow and blue suit.

A warm cone of yellow light from a floor lamp illuminated the small apartment. The only sound was the rain beating against the custom Plexiglas windows. She'd had them installed shortly after moving in, finding the hustle and bustle of the city unbearable with her advanced hearing. The intense tumult was now a nearly undetectable thrum that Laura only picked up on occasion. Nothing seemed out of place. Save for her desk, now cluttered with papers and an open laptop.

Gabby had been doing her homework here, she deduced. That wasn't an exceptional occurrence. The Xavier School was only a 30-minute bus away, and her sister often came to visit if things were a bit hectic. It turns out a building housing 50 or so teenagers wasn't the best place to study. Every now and then, the young girl would sleepover. She even slept over the day before Laura left for her most recent mission. A part of it was odd for Laura, though. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy her little sister's company. Laura loved it, welcomed it even. Gabby was a calm and comforting presence. But, it had been a long time since Laura has had anything resembling a roommate, and she wasn't the most accommodating when it came to space. Privacy was an important thing for her, and while she trusted her sister, she was by nature, a cautious being. To avoid intrusion and unnecessary conversations, Laura made sure to establish some ground rules.

The first being that Gabby was welcome to come over anytime she just had to call in advance and tell someone where she was going. Last time the 13-year-old left without telling anyone, the X-men were out until 3 a.m. scouring the city of New York. Meanwhile, she was asleep on Laura's sofa, fast asleep with a frozen waffle in hand.

The second rule was probably the most predictable. Gabby was not allowed in Laura's bedroom without permission. She was also to stay out of personal storage spaces and the medicine cabinet in the bathroom unless it was an actual emergency.

The third rule was one the Xmen decided upon collectively. Gabby, if she was going to stay the night at Laura's, had to have her all of her homework done. Furthermore, she must be in bed by a decent hour, especially on school nights. Gabby, while she was sweet and innocent and pure, disliked anything to do with school. She went to a traditional middle school, after all. Laura and the other Xmen had all determined that she needed a regular, base education, along with her studies on mutants and power control. Gabby had shunned the idea from day one.

"Why do I need to learn what they do. I'm not human," The 13-year-old had argued. Jean had only sighed, adjusting to give the lecture she gave to all the students about how all knowledge was beneficial, no matter your species. Laura was quick to cut Jean off though, stealing Gabby's attention as soon as she spoke, "If you go you can have free roam of the ice cream shelf in the freezer," Gabby had agreed to go then, still with some reluctance.

The fourth and final rule was more for Laura's comfort than anything, cautious by nature, remember. Gabby needed to keep an extra suit at the apartment. So in case of an emergency, she could quickly act without compromising her identity.

Laura pulled her phone out the front pocket of her bag, shooting off a quick text to Jean and Natasha, informing them that she got home. Although, she was sure Jean was already aware. The telepath was always checking in on her, making sure she was okay. The brunette was quick to shut off the phone completely before returning it to the go-bag. She didn't like using phones, but they were a necessity for missions. The ringers were loud and annoying. Phone calls were even more of a strain on her ears, the static, and piercing rings very apparent. In her case, they did more harm than good.

She began the process of peeling off her costume as best she could while walking, managing to wiggle one arm out of the form-fitting material before halting. Suppressing a laugh, she distantly examined the person-shaped lump currently lying across the sofa. Its breathing was calm and rhythmic, the rise and fall, the only indication of life from how still it was lying under the many quilts.

Laura worked the suit down to her hips, leaving her in a black tank top. Cautiously, as not frighten the lump, she kneeled and placed a hand on what she thought to be the creature's shoulder. The fabric began to contort as it moved. Laura pulled back the blankets, evoking a small squeak at the sudden intrusion of light. She smiled at the sight before her. Gabby, long hair disheveled, squinting up at her with a line of drool across her cheek. Her school clothes were wrinkled so heavily that Laura knew Gabby was going to receive a lecture from whoever was in charge of laundry this week.

The young girl's sleepy expression did not last long, once she realized who'd woken her. She tumbled off the couch and into Laura, tightly hugging her chest, face buried in her neck. "Hey Gabby," The older laughed, reciprocating her embrace with the little remaining strength she had. Gabby said, "I missed you so much," "It was only a week," Laura chuckled. Gabby looked at her, her brown eyes impeccable replicas of Laura's, "It felt like more than a week," There was a pout on her face that tugged at Laura's heartstrings more than she liked to admit. She affectionately rubbed the younger's shoulders, "Come on Gabs, don't do that to me," Gabby relinquished her grip but stayed in the cage of Laura's bent legs. They were just a small reach away from each other. She knew Gabby liked it when they were close. Some called it clingy. Laura preferred to think of it has endearing. "You know I didn't want to go," That was a lie. Laura was thrilled to work with the Avengers again. But Laura was determined to wipe that pout off her sister's face. "But the Avengers needed my help,"

Gabby fiddled with her fingers, eyes avoiding Laura's at all costs. She had some apprehension. The girl had something to say, but either couldn't or was too embarrassed to admit it.

Laura lifted Gabby's chin so that they were looking into each other's eyes once again, "What's wrong, Gabby?" The 13-year-old gave the most sorrowful look Laura had ever seen on her innocent face, "Do you like them more than me?" "The Avengers?" Gabby gave a small nod in response. "Gabrielle," Her sister's full name was reserved for only the most genuine of moments when Laura wanted her to understand the sincerity of what she was saying. "Of course I don't, why would you ever think that? I love you more than anything,"

She hated seeing Gabby like this, all sad and doubtful. Her sister was the happiest, most optimistic kid she'd ever known. But now her innocent features were dejected, and her eyes were shiny with tears that threatened to brim. Laura's heart was aching and heavy, guilt pinging through her like a pinball machine.

"Natasha," Gabby spoke so quickly and quietly, if it weren't for her enhanced hearing, Laura would have never caught it. She sighed, an awe of realization passing through her in waves. She rubbed a calloused thumb across her sister's tan cheek, making sure to speak as softly and calmly as possible, "Just because Natasha and I are dating doesn't mean I love you any less," "Do you love her more than me?" The girl asked, finally looking up at her. Laura gave a reassuring smile, "I love you both, equally. But, the way I care for Natasha is different," Gabby gave a confused expression, brow furrowing adorably. Laura was quick to resolve her confusion, "I love you, platonically, and I love Natasha, romantically," She paused briefly to read Gabby's expression before continuing, "Now that doesn't mean I love either one of you more than the other. It just means that the way I love each of you is different,"

All seemed resolved, the discouraged mug replaced with the usually cheery one. But, there was a mysterious glint in those brown eyes that had Laura worried.

Gabby opened her mouth to speak again, except now there was a pout on her face. The pout that she knew bent Laura to her will, "Why're you away so much?" Her voice was that soft, innocent tone that could break Laura apart immediately. It was a cheap shot using both the pout and that voice, and Gabby knew it was. She was fishing for something.

Laura chose her next words carefully. If she knew her sister, and she bet she did, she was going to guilt Laura into doing something, Laura simply didn't know what that something was yet. She went in subtly at first, making sure that Gabby was off guard, mind clouded with the allusion of victory, "When I'm away it is to help my friends with problems they have trouble solving," She rubbed her thumb across the young girl's face once again, "Also, Natasha is a new addition to my life, and I want to make sure that she knows I care about her," Laura paused one more time, allowing what she said to sink in before she went in for the kill, "But if you dislike me dating her so much, I guess I can call things off," Laura knew it was a low, but so was what Gabby did. You know what they say, fight fire with fire, or in this case, guilt-trip with guilt-tripping.

Gabby turned her head away from Laura's stroking gesture, suddenly entranced with sofa. She knew she'd been found out, caught in the midst of deception. "No, I don't want you to do that," She kicked a socked foot tenderly against Laura's booted one. The older chuckled, rubbing the younger's arm in an attempt to show she wasn't mad.

There was a beat of silence before Gabby spoke, and when she did her tone had shifted into a hopeful, devious one, that both perplexed and terrified Laura, "Maybe if I met the Avengers I wouldn't feel so bad about you leaving,"

Laura cursed herself silently. Gabby had won, and she knew it, the coy, but still adorable smile on the 13-year-old's face said so. Laura stood, knees cracking as she did. She looked down at her sister and couldn't help but laugh at the puppy eyes staring right back at her. She sighed out, "Gabrielle, do you want to meet the Avengers?"

A piercing squeal erupted from the child, causing Laura to cringe slightly. She giddily wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, hugging her as tightly as she could. "Thank you, Laura!" She said, face buried in the older's stomach. Laura reciprocated the embrace with a gentle pat to the young girl's back.

Laura couldn't help but smile as she watched her sister run laps around the apartment, joyously chanting, "I'm gonna meet the Avengers!"

She sighed, eyes following Gabby around the room, "What have I done?"