#that pics my Spotify cover lmao

[co0lranch]

Currently fighting a deadline rn and its so epic cool amazingness

[shelxvy]

brad is probably bragging about how he can sing twist by korn and lloyds unfortunately so stupidly into it

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

another quick promo for my bands new song! i think its best described as modern alt rock or something like that, so give it a listen if youre into that!

[lucifers-hymn]

Guess whos back... Back again... Shady-

Let me stop okay fuck uhm

WELCOME TO MY INTRO AGAIN BUT LIKE THIS ONE IS BETTER

My name is Mono but I cant settle on one name online (i have... a list of names...) (which grows if I hear a name i think sounds cool and ultimately wanna steal immediately) (none of you are safe beware) ANYWAY yeahz I'll write down the names in the comments when I'm done if I feel like it

Also yeah I'm trans + pansexual, my prns are he/him & they/them, and im a minor(ity)

INTERESTS AND SHI

Games : Cry of Fear, Sally Face, Little Misfortune, Little Nightmares, Fran Bow, Mouthwashing, Yandere Simulator, Class of '09 (the flipside can BURN), DDLC, and uh uh yeah i can't think of any more rn maybe I'll edit this one day

Shows, TV, Movies, etc : Scream franchise(including Scary Movie), DHMIS(youtube series ver., haven't watched the recent tv show), Thanksgiving, Smile, Sixth Sense, Spiderverse movies, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Owl House, The Black Phone

True Crime Community : Artyom & Nikita, Columbine, Zodiac, Dahmer, Jack da Rippa👅👅👅 LMAO okay anyway, (i am relatively new to the tcc... its just leik any crime right? So I can mention people like Robert Pickton or Fred & Rose West? neat ok) ROBERT PICKTON, FRED & ROSE WEST, lmao..., uh Ted Bundy, Menendez brothers, I have briefly seen stuff abt Adam Lanza, Alyssa, etc but haven't read abt them/watched documentaries or anything... OH ALSO THE 2 PPL THAT KILLED UH BRIANNA GHEY I FORGOT THEIR NAMES (edit: somehow forgot John Wayne Gacy?? I LITERALLY LISTEN TO A BAND W HIM AS AN ALBUM COVER AM I RETARDED....)

Music : i changed my spotify recently but here's the link to my (unfinished) main playlist

General Interests : I LOVVEEE caffeine so much its a problem, rainy weather, stuff like tumblr, discord, spacehey, etc, collecting trinkets, cosplay(?)(i don't do it often but I've done fem!simon Henriksson & Shaggy 2 Dope, and Nezuko but that was like 2022 and I dont watch anime often anymore), I wanna get into playing guitar, i write stuff sometimes, read obvi, silly willy design/architecture games that i find, i draw💯💯💯, uhm.mgmgmm... yah.. ALSO I READ WEBTOON SOMETIMES!! SBG, JD, VF, SS, ALLAT(if ur curious abt those go 2 my asks and I'll say the actual name im lazy and this section is long af)

DNI LIST!!!

EDIT:: DNI list is kinda stupid idgaf if you interact and are any of these but i probably will not like you + won't respond

Racists, homophobes+transphobes, pedos, anti-para, people who r sensitive to gore, blood, crime, etc, people who defo abuse that report button (js block me istg<3), people on shblr & edblr who shame others for depth and weight, basic DNI's ig?

Boundaries!

Simple stuff tbh, like just dont harass me or my friends, followers, yk, don't be rude for no reason(jokes and such are fine like if u have a tone indicator n stuff or the person is ok w it)

Asks, comments, etc are fine as long as they aren't requesting personal info e.g real name, phone num, yk the drill allat stuff

Anons, pretty pls use emojis so ik what asks are from u, or if u dont wanna signing ur nicknames or alias is fine too

Paraphilia/Kink/IDK? (I may post this stuff in the future, like on my old acc w sh pics)

Necrophilia(im anti-contact to clarify, jus fantasies), blood, knives, self h4rm, su1cide, gore, etc stuff like that ig

WHO I WANNA MEET!!!

Literally anyone who has similar interests n is respectful lmao, I don't rlly block unless i REALLY dont like you so feel free to ask 2 be moots n stuff

OK BYEEEYEYEYEYTE

- Mono

[butterfilledpockets]

SAY NO MORE

Haha get B.E.N.T. idiot

I’m not done adding songs yet, and it may be a tad too angsty (also I don’t know if links work on asks)

Seeing as you’re the creator requests are obviously welcomed

I would’ve added the Cooking By the Book Lil Jon remix in honor of Leo and Donnie but Spotify doesn’t have it😔😔😔

Also may I use your comic cover/pic as the thumbnail? (or whtv it’s called)

KJGBEKJFBKEB THAT WAS SO FAST HOLY FUCK

and the meme kwbgkjsbrkgjeth- but you get it, playlists are ESSENTIAL to the brain rot, the mold itself if you will.

I will try and upload my playlists of the B.E.N.Ts sometime soon sjgbkjsrbgksg I am just doing a very many things

we hear the anthem in our hearts my friend o7

YES ABSOLUTELY (someday I'll draw a thumbnail or two skjgbkrg need to draw more group pictures lmao) (also planned on drawing a phone background at some point and stickers)

[roccinan]

I'm glad to see you answer (and no pressure at all, this particular fic has been so precious to me, I'd already made the playlist asdfjsk) You're too kind omg, I thank you for writing it in the first place, and this is just a token of my appreciation <3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3VXYoJIvkgV2Fu4CZwrhaB?si=859c50fe23b74936

(just a warning lol idk how my taste in music differs from you, so you might not like it in which case i apologise before hand 😭 I tried to mostly pick songs that fit the feels/plot overall, some songs (nearly half to 2/3rd LOL) is kinda from Sergio POV? I hope it comes across that way atleast, and a few instrumentals that again I *hope* fit the general mood, I tried (key word - try) arranging in order of the events that happen in the fic but you can also listen on shuffle! I also apologise for how long it got, please listen to it only if you have the time/energy lol (it's also got a few nods to hc's from some of your other fics but it is primarily based on the hermanos in rain fic)

PS I understood your struggle to choose a title, I literally titled it "rain" in the beginning XD I ended up going with one of the other options to match the cover pic, hope you don't mind! I love the actual title of the fic too, it just looked too long on spotify 😅

Firstly, sorry for how very looonnngggg it took me to answer! @ everyone, this an amazing hermanos-themed playlist that perfectly captures every beat of I'd rather be dry (but at least I'm alive). Thank you so much for taking the time to make this and for sharing it with me (as you know, I 100% RACED to listen to it as soon as you shared it with me). No really, thank you so much for always being there to support my hermanos fics! I really appreciate it and means a lot to me!

My music taste is also all over the place LMAO and I always have the toughest time thinking of songs that match the "vibe" of whatever it is I'm looking for, so I'm super impressed at how you picked out such a wide-range list that manages to capture every scene and mood I was going for :D The fact that it's chronological too blows my mind! I'll definitely be listening to it a lot while rereading that story ;) And all the instrumentals you picked were so beautiful and exactly what I enjoy listening to too!

Remembrance - This sets the mood so well, not just for a moody intro but also Sergio's mindset in general (+ his life with Andres), like this is something I can hear from show canon!

He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother - Perfect title and perfect lyrics for our brotp, made for the hermanos! Also love how it coincides with Sergio literally having to carry Andres in the next scene lol

Carry You - Same thoughts apply here! Thematically perfect; also something that feels like a track the show would play over a montage

West - Sleeping At Last song!! haha I've used their songs to set the mood so much whenever I'm writing for hermanos or berlermo, and the song you picked here (both instrumental and lyrics) fits the story so well, especially the "we'll be just fine" being repeated

Blue Ridge Mountains - Another beautifully themed brotherly song! Can definitely see this playing through the scene of Sergio trudging through the rain, or of him and Andres "contemplating" in the motel together during the storm

Repeat Until Death - The lyrics :'D really perfectly captures Sergio's feelings about Andres' (impending) death; this one's so sad omg but so fitting

The Emotion - the vibes! I can hear this suiting Sergio's flashback to the day on the beach (and events in Hermanito!) and Andres comforting him in the present

Recuerdos - Another beautiful instrumental that captures the same mood as #7!

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday - this one reminds me of Sergio telling Andres his fears out loud in the motel :') also fits his mindset regarding Andres (and their father) in general

Across the Sea - el mitad del oceano reference!? haha either way, another bittersweet instrumental that suits the melancholic mood

Song for a Stormy Night - literally captures that entire picture of Sergio listening to the storm while Andres sleeps XD the lyrics somehow took all of Sergio's words out of his mouth

The Golden Age - I'm also a woodkid fan and I remember hearing this song the first time and going 'hmm hermanos' asdfasdf You came to the same conclusion, love that!

Stay Alive - Another one that really captures the narrative's mood, especially from Sergio's pov!

Brother - this gives me strong "Hermanito" vibes! And to me, this feels like a rare one from Andres' pov

Jacob and the Stone - Another great instrumental that fits the tragisweet mood in the motel!

I Don't Want to Lose You - This playlist digs through Sergio's emotions like an onion, and this one really suits his confession about never wanting to lose his brother :') Even the lyrics perfectly fit the hermanos (like the part of past loves at the piano!). I know the singer wrote this with a couple in mind lol but out of context, this is a song for the #hermanos

Same as above!

Carry You Through - we're 18 songs in and you still manage to find a song with lyrics that matches Sergio's angst so well that I'm just impressed XD "we couldn't be closer but still out of reach" AHHH

In Case You Don't Live Forever - Another PERFECTLY matched hermanos song, especially taking in the events from the "Hermanito" timeline; exactly what was going through Sergio's head towards the end of Rain too

Isaac - And we're getting to the end of the storm ;) OHH another rare one from Andres' pov that perfectly captures how he felt about seeing Sergio panic through Rain. And yes, always insane about Sergio is the Isaac to Andres' Ishmael

You'll Be Alright - a comforting one that feels like it's from Andres when he's comforting Sergio!

Yellow - Ah, coldplay, Alex Pina's favorite band XD not an lcdp playlist without them! This really fits the mood at the end, after the climax, and I like to think of it from Andres' pov as he's reminiscing about little Sergio

Save You - Immediately made think of Sergio's , "This time, I'm protecting you" :') and the overall last scene of the fic; it's what all his fears have been boiling down to, and the lyrics about searching for an answer/trying to understand --> that's so El Profesor!!

We're Gonna Be Okay - perfectly paints the mood of Andres hugging Sergio in the living room, telling him it's going to be okay after that hell of a day they had :'D

Si, Te Quiero Mucho (Hermanito) - LOSING MY MIND THAT THERE IS A REAL SONG NAMED THIS!????? wonder if it's a lcdp reference lol anyway, definitely Andres' final thoughts about Sergio both in the canon timeline and the end of Rain; literally the perfect thing to close out the playlist with and what I can hear playing over the "credits" of Rain. Mood and lyrics match so well (Andres' pretentious ass asdfadsf) and the culmination of what he feels about Sergio + inevitably leaving him behind

Thanks again for sharing this with me! A lot of wonderful new songs here I didn't know about and so many great hermanos-themed tracks too :D This was such a sweet gift and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!

And loved the title you chose too ;) PLEASE, I of all people know the pain of trying to choose a good title!

[foreverinthesun]

I thought it was gonna be hard to go back to not having spotify premium for a couple of months but it's been pretty good! Kinda makes me upset I spent so much money on spotify lmao

Idk if I can be without forever though cause almost all the music on my laptop is pre 2017 and downloading for yt seems to only work for a few songs a day(week?) and I only think to dl every few weeks lol

But at the same time, I got 15000 songs on a harddrive for xmas 2011 and I've probably only listened to 1-2k of them so I'm working my way through those finally😝 I think my phone'll be permanently full though.

My playlists are very incomplete still (idk when 60% of the songs came out) but I'm really enjoying using really zoomed in pics of bts as covers

[hard-core-super-star]

I just listened to the other songs and god, okay, they're good at what they do and you weren't kidding. Also, I knowx3 is definitely a more practical way to call this song lmfao. Is songs with a repeating name a thing with them or...?

Not the playlist cover being my wallpaper. (I love this image and all the pic sequences with all my heart)

Give me a tip and I bet I can guess which song your next fic will be based on!

I understand about messy Spotify, so fear not, I'm a pro. Saying that a song is "a lot" and weird as hell but at the same time it's a good song... it's definitely a way to make someone curious... a clever way🤨 and why tegan hates it?

– 🌟

not you sending this in the second i answered your last message 😶

anywho, yeah they're fantastic. as a writer, i’m constantly in awe of the lyrics they write and they ways they express such conflicting emotions sometimes. one song can mean one hundred different things and i love that. those two songs are pretty much the only ones that have repeating titles but it's still pretty cool. [to me] also, tegan hates superstar because it's too “spoken wordy”, in her words. it's also, once again, weird as hell.

i added five songs after the archer to not make it too easy for you. and because i still can't decide lmao. but your hint is that it's from an artist that appears two times in that playlist.

[aleximustdr4w]

Aviable on AO3

Fandom(s): Mötley Crüe

Characters, ships: Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil / ✨v i n i k k i✨

Word count: 6.4k

Rating: 18+ / A-O

Warnings: sex work; internalized homophobia/homophobic slurs; oh yeah, this has a lot of gay smut btw

Summary: 19-year-old West Hollywood playboy Frankie Feranna - or Nikki Sixx, as he presents himself to the general public- is so confident in his heterosexuality that he decided it would be a good idea to offer his services to anyone, as long as they'll pay him. It's not gay if it's only for business, right? That's what Nikki would tell himself until he's approached by Vince, a pretty, sassy, (and horny) fast-food chain worker, who'll make him not only rethink his business methods but also his attraction to the same sex.

A/N: Inspired by the Crüe song Sumthin’ for Nuthin’. This is the first episode of hopefully a series (I’m thinking of 7-10 parts) of self-conclusive tales about the various encounters of gigolo!Nikki in his teenage/ya years. The events are not supposed to be in chronological order but are all set in the late 70s/early 80s, so expect different ages/descriptions of the protagonist in other episodes from this series.

Very special thanks go to the Vinikki Expert™ @arnold-layne for reading this and giving me the motivation that i needed to keep going until I finished it <3

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was a hot summer’s night, and Nikki had just finished quite the challenging shift at work. Who would’ve guessed that bitch was into that kinky stuff? Sexual frustration really does a number on people’s sanity, he thought, while he carefreely skipped to the next turn of a dimly lit street, but he considered it a job well done, and the generous tip that was given him was the proof of it. The trash scattered around and the police sirens going off in the distance didn’t seem to affect Nikki’s mood: getting some food was the only objective in his mind, and the sleazy diner at the end of the road looked like a five-star restaurant at that moment of the night. Nikki’s eyes lit up at the sight of the sign still flipped on “open�� and sped up the pace: he was starving.

He pushed the glass door and entered. It was empty, except for two bored-looking employees - some blond surfer dude and a brunette Latina - chatting behind the counter, and KISS blasting Detroit Rock City through the speakers. He greeted the waiters, sat down at one of the front tables, and skimmed the menu.

“...What about him, huh?” She asked her colleague, nodding towards the boy who just entered, keeping a low tone trying to not let their new customer hear them. “He’s kinda cute!”

The boy looked in the direction she was pointing at. God, more like drop-dead gorgeous. Six feet tall, chiseled jawline, copper brown hair to his shoulders, lips that only a god of love would have. The flickering colored neon lights reflecting on his face gave him an almost otherworldly aspect. He traced the young man’s profile with his gaze, wishing for that image to be engraved on his mind forever, hoping he would never forget it, while butterflies were growing in his stomach and his heart started pounding faster in his chest. He had never believed in love at first sight, but he was willing to admit he was mistaken this time.

“Well… he is cute.” The blond exhaled.

“Wait, isn’t that the new gigolo of the area? I saw him the other day with Rosie! And Olivia told me she’s seen his ad in The Recycler saying that he swings both ways.” The girl grinned. “You wanna talk to him?”

That question snapped him out of his thoughts: “Huh? No!” He responded, completely flushed.

“Oh, come on, Vince! When was the last time you turned down a chance to get laid?” She nagged him with the elbow.

“Lola!“ Vince grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her behind the kitchen doors.

“What, am I wrong?” She laughed, pushing him back.

Her colleague closed the doors. “I mean, no, but you can’t just say that!”

It’s been a while since Vince had some good sex. He used to get a lot of pussy from being the frontman of the local rock band, and he used to get a lot of dick when he’d pay rounds for all the guys at the gay club, but things weren’t going as well lately. Singing covers was becoming boring, so he tended to not show up at every gig, and just recently he had to cut his expenses for all his vices of the weekend because he found it hard to reach the end of the month.

However, that wasn’t a good enough excuse for her to freak out in front of some random guy who happened to be Vince’s current crush.

“Oops, I got carried away.” She giggled. “But you should go have a chat with him, chico.“

Vince peeked at the guy through the chink of the door, assorted in the menu. He sighed, flustered. “I can’t, dude, I just can’t...”

“Yes, you can!”

“Are you even sure he is bisexual, anyway?” Vince inquired.

“Yes!” Lola exclaimed, convinced.

“Well, what if he’s not? What if you’re confusing him with someone else?”

“It is him!”

“But how can you be so certain?!”

“Everybody I know told me, and my eyes work very well, too! He even has the ad in the paper, I’m telling you. How do you not know it’s him?”

In the meantime, Nikki approached the counter, squinting his eyes and straining his ears to try and understand what they were talking about over the blaring music. Were they talking about him? They ran away as soon as he walked in, so it didn’t seem like such a far-fetched idea. Hah, maybe he got jealous. Nikki snickered to himself. Couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t have laid a finger on her, especially if it’d involve good money.

“Uh…” Nikki cleared his voice. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, fuck.” Vince groaned, shaking his head. “I’m not goin’ out there.”

Lola put her hands on her hips and raised both her thick, black eyebrows at him in disappointment.

Vince rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly, throwing his head back. “Don’t look at me like that, Lola! I will die in front of him!” He lamented.

“Ugh, you’re sooo dramatic, Vinnie!”

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!” She pointed her finger at him. “And you should cut your crap before we lose that customer,” the girl pushed him against the door, “or else I will lock you in the freezer!”

“Oh, c’mon, again?!”

“Yeah, and it won’t be an accident this time!” Lola shoved Vince with one last effort through the threshold and closed the kitchen behind him. “Come back when you have the ordination, then we can talk!”

The surfer tumbled out of the staff-only area accompanied by the loud thwack of the doors, brushing his shirt with his hands and adjusting his cap, mumbling under his breath: “Ow, fuckin’ bruja… Hi, welcome!” His tone completely shifted and a 32-toothed smile decorated his face in the same sentence as soon as he saw the young ginger waiting in front of the bar.

Nikki smiled back politely. “Is… Everything okay?” He nodded vaguely in the cooking area’s direction.

Vince snorted. “Yeah, no big deal. Women, am I right?” He shrugged theatrically, raising his arms slowly to then lowering them with a sonorous puff of his hands when he made them fall along his hips.

“Yeah, I could tell ya a thing or two about that.” The ginger giggled, thinking about that night’s client. “Never met a normal one in my life!”

“Seriously! You should hear her sometimes… Anyway, what can I get you?”

He is... Pretty. Nikki never thought he’d say that about a man, but this boy’s beauty blew him away. His job required flexibility -money is money, he kept telling himself-, but he was sure the same sex did not attract him. Or at least he never questioned it, not until this guy here came into his life without being invited, with his warm skin tone and soft, kissable lips. He had the uniform’s shirt loosely unbuttoned and was wearing a reversed cap on his wavy, soft, bleach blond hair, which arrived a few inches under his shoulders. He looked rough due to sleep deprivation and the job he had, but if anything, that's what made him more attractive to Nikki, and what caused him to feel a new warm sensation rising from his stomach to his cheeks, then down to his legs, making them feel like jelly.

The waiter took Nikki’s ordination, asking him about extra sauces and drinks in the most cordial tone he ever heard from a fast-food chain employee, looking at him with his hand on his cheek and sparkly hazel eyes. Nikki ended up taking the greasiest, most expensive cheeseburger they had, not even bothering to tell the employee to not put pickles inside it even though he hated them with a passion.

“It’ll take me a sec for your drinks, so you can wait here before taking a seat.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Nikki nodded. He was blinded by hunger and too distracted by ogling the dude’s ass when he skipped away to worry about it. He just hoped he didn’t make the boy feel too uncomfortable as soon as he turned around and realized he was staring at him.

Vince occupied himself with the drinks machine. His heart was still pounding in his chest, and he was starting to sweat, worried that the cups would slip from his grip and not only make a fool of himself in front of the guy he was crushing on but also make a mess he’d have to clean up, which wasn’t exactly one of his favorite tasks in there. The young man took a deep breath, dried his palms on a towel while listening to Lust for Life on the radio, collected the cups, and handed them to the customer.

“Coke and smoothie for you, sir”, Vince announced with a smile.

The ginger looked up at him and smiled back. “Thank you.” The lights hit his green eyes, which made them sparkle like the Californian sea during the golden hours. He watched the customer cross the room to reach his seat attentively, observing his long legs and fluent walk. His stout build contrasted with the grace and agility in his movements.

While tapping his foot to the beat of the music, Vince glanced over what the ginger scribbled down on his notebook. Phone numbers? That reminded him of Lola mentioning his… advertisement. What exactly did she mean by that? What exactly was this guy’s business? He was not, without a doubt, a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. But I’m sure he could suck me off just as well as one of those things... Vince reflected while staring at the boy mindlessly playing with the straw of the smoothie with his tongue, too preoccupied with doing his own thing to notice how outrageously erotic that looked. Vince shook his head, feeling almost ashamed of himself for having that thought, only to turn around and disappear behind the kitchen doors, with Iggy Pop jamming on the chorus in his ears.

“He wants the super double McSlap-in-the-face or whatever, I can’t remember, you know the one. The most expensive thing we have.” He communicated to his colleague as soon as he walked in.

“Roger that!” Lola immediately flipped patties on the hot slab.

“So,” the waitress opened, “How did it go?”

Vince threw some bacon slices on the grill to help her. “Terrible” he sighed, “Horrible. I’m dead inside.”

Lola sneered.

“What?”

“I see you’re alive and well, chico.”

“Appearances are often deceiving, chica.”

“I’ve watched you from here. You handled that well. And yes, that means I heard you making fun of me, but I’ll go past that, because you men have a weird way of bonding over slagging women, and right then, you needed to bond with that man.”

“How… considerate of you... I guess.” Vince commented while arranging the first half of the ingredients between the burger buns.

“Yep. Count yourself lucky.”

A brief pause, only interrupted by Vince humming the song that was playing in the other room.

“I think I caught him staring at my ass, though.” He noted, after a while.

Lola stopped what she was doing, turned her head slowly to his co-worker. “Chico.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t play dumb! Don’t you understand? He’s already yours!”

“Oh my God, Lola, we just talked about this…” Flirting was never a problem for Vince when the time and place were right, which was usually a wild night out when everyone was drunk and horny. This was some dude at the restaurant he worked at who just wanted to have something to eat before going home.

“I know, and I’m sure he is the one!”

“Yeah, but I am not!”

“Just trust me! Don’t you trust me?”

“I mean… Of course, but…”

“Listen, I saw the way you look at him. I could never forgive myself if I didn’t even try to help you hook up with that guy. You can end your shift early. I don’t care. Just go get his ass now, or die trying. Okay?”

Her employee took a moment to reflect. “I can end early? Are you sure?”

“Mm-hmm. Right when you two walk out that door together, you are free. It looks like I won’t have much business at this hour anyway. I can manage alone. How’s that sound?”

Another pause.

“Fuck… You sold me. Just give me a moment for a cigarette, though. I need to think about it.”

“Sure. Just don’t run away, okay?”

“Hah, I won’t. I’m too scared of you to pull that shit! Thank you, Lola.” He was already on the other side of the door that led to the back of the building.

“You owe me one, chico!” Lola shouted in the hallway, where Vince already disappeared.

The opening of the kitchen doors interrupted Nikki’s frenetic writing in his doodle-filled notebook.

“Here you are, sir!” The waitress walked out of the counter with the tray in hand and greeted Nikki with the brightest smile. She had long black hair collected in a braid, chocolate skin, and voluptuous curves.

“Oh, thank you, miss.” Nikki smiled back, genuinely grateful for finally having something to bite on.

“I heard you argued with… him, before.” He chimed in before the lady walked away from him. Maybe I can make some extra cash tonight.

The tired waitress turned her head. “I beg your pardon?”

“I heard you and the guy fighting before.” Nikki reiterated as he dissected the burger to find the pickles and take them off of it. “Is everything good?”

“Hm, yeah, he’s fussy sometimes, but nothing I can’t handle.”

“Are you two… Together?” Nikki stressed the last word slowly, leaning forward, fixing his eyes on hers.

“Uh…” She stopped, completely spun toward him, confused. “I don’t think that’s for you to know, sir.”

“Oh, hah. Well… That’s fair.” Come on, Nikki, recover. He placed the elbows on the table, leaning even more forward. “Just... know that if you want to release… Some tension, I can be your man… for a reasonable price.” His talk was slow, smooth, alluring.

“So you’re the new gigolo in town? I know I’ve seen your face somewhere. Frankie, right?”

Surprised, Nikki raised his head slowly, wandering with his eyes, reflecting on what to say next. “Uh… Nikki. I guess word travels faster than I anticipated, but if anything it’s good for my business”. He pulled out a small flask from his pocket and poured the liquid into his glass of Coke. “But please, gigolo sounds so cold. Call me a… teacher’s pest.” He glanced again at the waitress, showing off his most charismatic smile and a wink.

She left out a chuckle. "Spare your flirting tactics with me, I'm not interested." Not only in your services, but men in general, she wanted to add.

"Oh, come on, darling." He tilted his head, smiling, leaning back on the leather couch, extending his arm on top of it, and crossing his legs under the table. "I can give you a first-time discount!"

She was already on her way back to the employees-only area. "It'll be $7.89. Enjoy your meal!" Lola replied, without turning, pushing the doors to disappear behind them.

“But wait! …Ah, damn.” Nikki shrugged. Oh well, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. While consuming his fierce meal, the boy thought about the male waiter, whose memory gave him flutters in his chest that he wasn’t sure wanted to acknowledge, and humored, far back in his mind, even if for a fraction of a moment, the idea of actually trying his luck with him.

Meanwhile, Vince was able to clear his thoughts and decided to just go for it. Better regret something you did rather than something you didn’t, he said to himself while taking a swig - one-third of a bottle - of the alcohol he had in his bag. Such things necessitate bravery, but not the kind that gets you into fights - that’s easy. This was bravery in the face of rejection, and Vince couldn’t have done it sober.

Van Halen’s new single was blaring through the speakers of the dining hall.

“Hey, dude.” Vince tried to get the boy's attention as he walked outside the counter.

Nikki raised his head and nodded. “I only have twenty, but you guys can keep the change...”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s on the house.” Vince interrupted him. I hope it's okay with Lola.

“What...”

Vince shook his head and puffed away his tension. This was his opportunity. "Listen, man." He sat down in front of Nikki, looking him in the eyes, "I have to ask you a weird question just so I can prove my co-worker wrong. A bet, if you will. She says… She says you're the guy from West Hollywood who's getting paid for sex with the ad in The Recycler. Dudes, chicks, everything in between… As long as it's a good price. Is it true?" Vince had nothing to lose and everything to gain: he just had to give it a shot.

Nikki blinked, hesitant. "Maybe." A temporary pause. "Is… anyone interested?"

Vince slapped a fifty-dollar bill on the table. "Maybe."

Nikki’s brow furrowed. Okay, he didn’t expect that. He knew a guy would’ve eventually come at him - that’s what he advertised - he just thought that day would've taken way longer to come.

“What… Do you mean?” Nikki understood very well what that meant, he just wasn’t able to process it, still.

"Let's cut to the chase, okay? You have something I want, and I can pay you for that. We don't have to meet again if you don't want to, just… Can I have you for tonight?" His voice was deep, vibrating with desire.

Nikki’s breath was suspended in his throat. This would've been his first time with a guy. There’s always a first time for everything, after all… But it didn’t have to be. He could’ve just run away with the fucker’s money, too.

Vince added another fifty bucks. The pressure was rising, both in his blood and inside his pants now. "Please."

Nikki looked at the money, at the young man who was soliciting him, then at the money again. He would've already accepted - free dinner and extra cash? Hell yeah!-, but he just wanted to see how far he could push his luck. "Add another fifty and I'm yours." He replied defiantly, leaning on his back, crossing his arms.

Vince narrowed his eyes, baring his teeth. "You snake..." He was all about getting into the gigolo's business no matter what, but his wallet begged to differ.

"Them's the rules."

A pause.

"A hundred or nothing."

"Fifty."

"Ten."

"Forty-five."

"Fifteen."

"Thirty."

"Oh, just take my money already!" Vince rolled his eyes, adding the thirty dollars to the total amount.

"You've got yourself a deal", Nikki smirked as he reached for the money with his hand.

Vince blocked him and took the cash off the table. "Uh-uh", he said, waving his index finger in front of the ginger's face. "Don’t play with fire. You think you get to run away with my money?" The blond got up and grabbed the other by the wrist. “Follow me”.

The service door closed behind Vince's back while he was pushing Nikki out into the filthy alley, among the trash bags and rats. He grabbed Nikki by the waist, then got on his toes to meet his lips with his own. Nikki was surprised but didn't fight it, slowly opening his mouth to let Vince's tongue taste his, in a breathtaking, impetuous kiss filled with pure lust. It's fine, the gigolo kept repeating to himself in his head, just pretend it's a girl. Vince groaned in Nikki's mouth, glad to finally satisfy his craving, to be himself.

Nikki had to step back to catch his breath, and looked at Vince in the eyes, glistening under the cold white neon light. He was met with a worried, almost scared expression that didn’t require any clarification. Nikki moved his gaze down on Vince's lips, smirking, and started biting and sucking on them, pulling him closer by grabbing his hips. Pretend he's a girl. His one-night lover relaxed in Nikki's kiss, smiling back, grinding against him, and slowly pushing him towards the dumpster. He frantically untucked Nikki's shirt to run his fingers on his bare skin, to which Nikki shivered at each stroke, without letting go of his lips for one second, in a crescendo of intensity and synchronized heartbeats.

Vince finally detached himself from Nikki’s mouth, to kiss, lick, bite, and suck on his neck, leaving teeth marks on the soft olive skin, drowning in his alluring danger-flavored scent. Nikki jumped in surprise. His eyes rolled back, a moan left his mouth, feeling more aroused than he’d ever been in his life. He surrendered himself completely to Vince, who in the meantime unzipped Nikki’s jeans and slipped his frantic hands inside them. He’s a girl, he’s a girl, he’s a girl…

“Get on your knees, pretty boy”, Nikki whispered in-between heavy breaths. He couldn’t take it any longer. He couldn’t pretend anymore. All he ever wanted at that moment was to be sucked off by the man who was in front of him and no one else. He would have had an existential crisis, questioning his sexuality and wondering where it all went wrong, where and when the line between business and pleasure became so blurry if he hadn’t been so damn horny about crossing that threshold that he couldn’t think at all. Nikki didn’t care; he’d just have to deal with it later.

Vince immediately obliged, suddenly feeling weak in his legs, as if he was under a spell cast by Nikki’s bewitchingly deep, husky voice. He pulled down Nikki’s pants and took his time to feast his eyes on what was revealed. He only said, “Holy shit...” in a soft voice.

Vince raised his head towards Nikki, who was surprisingly shy for a guy whose profession is being a playboy, with his red cheeks and stiff posture and nervous lip biting.

“Something wrong, bad boy?” Vince provoked playfully, head tilted to the side. He loved when he could make boys like Nikki break down their facade of cockiness.

Nikki couldn’t think straight. “I uh… sorry, I just…” Maybe we shouldn’t do this, he wanted to tell him, but his brain wasn’t capable of forming any words. What was he afraid of, judgment? Of whom, others? As if it was ever a problem for him his whole life. Judgment of the other fellow man, for his… performance? The guy in front of him on his knees, eager to get a dick in his mouth, didn’t seem to mind.

Nikki was visibly flustered now, his hands on his face, he didn’t know what to respond. He took another deep breath and decided to tell the truth. Not all of it, but his client needed to understand what they were getting themselves into. “I dunno man, I… this is my first time with a guy, y’know.” he blurted out eventually.

“Oh yeah? What an honor!” Vince’s eyes widened. His tone was too enthusiastic, to the limits of being fake. Condescending, even.

Nikki had to restrain himself to punch the twink in the face.

This was a mistake.

“Ha, figured you’d be happy to know that.” He replied, dry, raising an eyebrow. Nikki wasn’t sure how to feel in that situation: blondie here was testing his patience, but his sass intrigued him in such a manner that now he felt compelled to fuck him senseless to teach him a lesson. Well, I changed my tune fast, Nikki thought to himself.

The client got up, laid a hand on Nikki’s pounding chest. “There’s a first time for everything.” He sounded oddly understanding, which was reassuring. “Just… try to relax, okay?”

Nikki rested his wrists on the pelmet’s lid behind him after arching his back. He nodded. “Okay.”

As he kneeled again, his part-time lover’s fingers traced through his stomach, making Nikki’s skin crawl most enticingly.

There was something special about this guy…

The blond spat on his hand and started jerking Nikki off. He was already almost rock hard. He went with gentle, long strokes from base to tip, brushing his lips and tongue against it, teasing him, looking up to see his blissful expression with the eyes closed, the lips slightly apart and the head thrown back. Vince stripped him down even further and caressing his thighs and groin, trying to calm him down more, which kind of worked. Vince continued with slow and wide licks, up and down, up and down, covering Nikki’s cock in his saliva, feeling the warmth increasing. Nikki was a panting and groaning mess, clearly trying to hold himself back. Vince was running out of patience too, feeling his trousers getting so tight he had to untie them, so he just put Nikki’s dick in his mouth. Carefully but steadily, the blond sucked from the tip and slid forward on the shaft, in an up and down motion. He could feel the grip on his hair getting stricter and hear the groans getting louder, turning him on even more, if that was possible.

“Does it feel good?” Vince wanted to know.

Nikki’s mind was still having some difficulties registering what was happening, although he couldn’t deny he was enjoying it. He nodded. “Keep going.”

The blond responded by accelerating the rhythm, touching himself in the meantime. He took short pauses to catch his breath from time to time, to then go back to Nikki, who was twitching inside his throat, unable to say anything other than “Oh fuck… Goddammit… Fucking hell, you’re good…” in between pants and gasps. Vince went down on him even harder, stroking and licking until Nikki muttered, “Fuck, I think I’m...” and came into his mouth a second later with another loud groan, nearly choking Vince. He withdrew from Nikki in a coughing fit, with cum drooling all over his chin.

“Hijo de puta! You could’ve at least told me, y’know!” The smirk that developed on Vince’s face betrayed the rage that filled his gruff voice.

“My bad.” Nikki apologized in between quick breaths, his legs trembling, “I didn’t expect it to come that fast, either...”. It wasn’t really out of empathy, but embarrassment for not being able to last longer. Plus, it was always better to keep the client on his good side. He still had to get paid, after all. Nikki rarely genuinely cared for any impact his actions - voluntary or not - had in other people’s lives; this time, he was sure, was not one of the unusual occasions.

Vince got up on his feet, cleaned his face with his arm, and licked his cum-filled fingers. “It’s okay.” He approached near and looked up at the ginger. “Kinda adds to the thrill.” His lips touched Nikki’s once again in a sloppy kiss, while his hands reached into his back pocket to slide the dollar bills into Nikki’s hand, who swiftly slid them inside his jeans.

Nikki lifted Vince’s chin in between his thumb and index finger, pushing his weight against him to get even closer, groaning, tasting himself on Vince’s tongue. Girls would sometimes make out with him right after they sucked him off (just like he kissed the girls right after he went down on them), so he was used to it. He found it kind of hot, even: nothing like letting your partner know their flavor.

Vince’s breaths harmonized with Nikki’s in sharp inhales that extruded desire and an almost animalistic instinct of hunger for each other. He tried to wrap his leg around Nikki’s, trying to reach the dumpster’s edge behind them for more balance, to which the other responded by wrapping his arm around his lower back to lift him. That’s when Vince let out a moan of ecstasy in Nikki’s mouth, feeling once again the blood rushing down his crotch.

Nikki loosened the grip on his lover’s jaw to fumble around his chest, finding a way down to the last button of the grease-covered shirt to undo it and slowly crawl his fingers on the naked skin, refusing to break the kiss. It was small comfort in that scenario, which was yet fresh and unfamiliar to him.

Vince grabbed Nikki’s hand and guided it to go lower, inviting him to feel the heat that was rising under his clothes.

“Oh, sorry.” the blond whispered, “Do I need to pay extra for that?”

Nikki moved away at the same time to look him in the eyes, his lips parted, the eyelids half-closed, his cheeks flushed. “Don’t worry.” He breathed, touching the other’s lips with his, “This one’s on the house.”

Nikki figured it wasn’t the first time he jerked someone off (even though that someone had always been himself by far), so it shouldn’t have been that difficult, right?

Slowly, he stroked, feeling the warmth of the shaft from tip to base, observing the blond’s reaction to his touch, who gave out a soft whimper burying his face in his lover’s collarbone, pressing his lips against his neck, grinding against his body.

The ginger pressed his lips against blondie’s ear, inebriated by the smell of sea salt and cigarettes of his hair. “You like that?”

His delightfully raspy and lascivious voice, so muffled and close, traveled through Vince’s body, generating a shiver going down from his shoulders and neck, through his spine. That pulse of involuntary energy made Vince inhale sharply and squeeze Nikki’s hand.

“Yes. Yes, continue.” Vince murmured, his cheek resting on his neck.

Nikki adjusted his wrist for a better grip, raising the speed slowly. He went on with the motion, feeling his client twitching every time he passed his thumb over the moist tip. Pants and grunts spilled from both mouths as the intensity of the moment increased, praising and reaching for each other’s lips to bite on.

Vince felt like he was about to cum in his hand, sensing the familiar tingling running down from his head to his legs and getting ready for that sweet release. When all of a sudden, his eyes opened wide, a lucid thought crossed his mind: If I ruin another uniform, she’s gonna kick my ass!

The blond detached himself from the ginger, grabbed him by the hair, and pushed him down, shoving his throbbing cock down the boy’s throat, cumming in his mouth.

Nikki tasted dick before he could even register it in his brain. He spat out the load, coughing and rubbing his tongue, sure that he gulped some of it too. He dropped to his knees for the shock, glancing up at the guy who outplayed him with a flabbergasted, betrayed look. What the fuck was that about?! Nikki wanted to ask, but he could only mimic the first three words.

“What? Don’t give me that look. You did the same to me!” Vince giggled like a child who pulled a prank on his classmate.

“Not… even… a warning?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot about that. Sorry.” Vince shrugged, delivering his best shit-eating grin while offering his hand to the ginger.

Nikki grudgingly accepted the help, shooting a scornful glare at the blond. “I know you’re not fucking sorry, you dirty fucking faggot--” he breathed through his teeth as he rose to his feet and drew their bodies closer together. The disparaging tone he used contradicted the smile he bore with the words.

Vince’s knuckles hit the gigolo’s jaw before he could finish talking. “Bit ironic of you to say, when your mouth is still dirty of my cum, don’t you think?” he retorted with a sneer, staring at the face of anger, tilting his head provocatively.

Nikki scoffed, stroking his chin. The punch wasn't that strong, but the little bastard got to the spot where even a baby could make it hurt. “Touché. Guess I won’t beat your ass tonight.”

“You can kiss it if you want to.” Vince dragged a cigarette out of the packet with his lips, without batting an eye. “Do you have a light?”

Nikki and Vince stood beside each other under the flicker of the service door light, surrounded by the smell of gone-off frying oil, the smoke from their cigarettes. The only sound to be heard were cars speeding by in the distance.

“Hey, so, uh… Was… Was it good for you?” Nikki broke the silence.

At that question, Vince arched his eyebrows and exhaled, making the cigarette smoke exit through his nostrils faster, creating two gray lines of vapor in front of them that dissipated in the air, like fog out of season. So this was his first time, huh? That explained his hesitancy to accept his solicitation. But why choose to offer your services to everyone and not just women? Did he really need the money, or was his “work” merely a front to meet more dudes to sleep with? Maybe both? Vince didn’t know, but as much as he wanted to have those doubts cleared, he set them aside and responded to the question earnestly.

“It was fuckin’ great.” He sighed, looking his lover of the hour in the eyes. “You were great.” A hint of a smile in his expression as he added the second part, his voice growing faint at the end of the phrase, leaving the words suspended.

“Oh,” Nikki felt his face turning red as those words exited the blond’s mouth, making him turn his gaze to the ground. “I, uh…” He flickered the cigarette to make the accumulated ash fall on the ground. A tight-lipped smile formed across his face, curved askew on his left cheek, creating two creases on his skin at the angle of his lips. “Thanks.” He uttered in the end, raising his head and bringing the cigarette to his mouth. “It was good for me, too.” Another sentence left floating in the smoky air.

They got quiet for a moment, kicking pebbles or junk lying around. Sometimes one would glance at the other, attempting to meet his gaze, just to deflect it and pretend it wasn't intentional.

“Sorry about earlier,” Nikki murmured hastily, breathing smoke.

“What?”

Nikki swallowed, then cleared his voice. “I said… I’m sorry.” Another puff of the cigarette. “About the faggot thing. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I know, it just felt good to hear it twice.” Vince accompanied that response with a 32-toothed smug smile.

Nikki rolled his eyes, wondering why he still hadn’t beaten the tan out of the twerp yet. He already let him ruin the major selling point of his merchandise, now he could take the piss off him too?

The blond returned serious and raised his shoulders. “It’s whatever, man. I’m used to it.” He had to learn to fend for himself in places where people like him should’ve been safe. A pretty, self-absorbed and sexually confused asshole wasn’t the worst person Vince had to give the right hook to. He inhaled some more nicotine.

The ginger imitated him, touching the bruise that was already swollen. “It fucking hurts, by the way.”

“Good. That means we’re even.”

“No hard feelings?” Nikki turned towards him in search of forgiveness.

Only inside my pants… “No hard feelings.” Vince nodded, meeting his gaze back.

They went silent again.

Vince caught the gigolo looking up, where the clouds were lazily passing by the crescent moon, peering behind the city skyline.

“Wow…” the ginger murmured under a puff of smoke.

“Hm? What is it?”

Nikki looked at him and nodded at the sky. “The moon looks so cool tonight.”

Vince raised an eyebrow. Where did this sentimentalism come out of, after having paid for sex among the garbage bins outside his workplace, of all scenarios? He looked in the same direction as the lad he was still sharing a smoke with. Vince never really stopped to look for the poetry behind his surroundings, he usually left that sappy shit to girls, but he had to admit the sky had its charm that night. The clouds now had moved away completely and left the moon dominating the pitch-black atmosphere.

“You can see it even better at sea.” Vince puffed his cigarette one last time before throwing it away. “Have you ever been there?”

Nikki shook his head and chucked away his cigarette in turn. “Not yet. Since I moved to LA, anyway.”

“Oh, you don’t know what you’re missing. Hot chicks everywhere, all year-’round.” The surfer chuckled, which made the ginger smile along.

A conversation about nothing under the stars later, Nikki let out a yawn. “Well, I better fuck off now.” He chuckled in a hoarse voice. “It's getting late."

“Yeah, I should get back in, too”, Vince replied. A wave of melancholy washed over him, as it often did when he had to part ways with a one-night stand, especially as good as this. But he had long accepted to treasure those moments, not remember the people he made those memories with, or hope he could ever see them again. He turned on his heels before that feeling had the chance to sink in any deeper.

“Wait! I… I almost forgot.” Nikki grabbed the blond by the arm. "I don't even know your name." He never had the desire to learn the names of his flings or clients, yet that information felt like the most indispensable thing in the world.

Vince turned around. The ginger's eyes were glistening. "Vince. What's yours?"

“I’m Nikki.” He pulled out his notebook from the back pocket, scribbled something on a blank page, and handed it to Vince. “Call me?” You’ll never know that this guy could become a patron. Nikki hoped that was the case, but for reasons beyond business, despite what he kept telling himself.

Vince examined the phone number scribbled on the piece of paper. His lips shaped into a smile. “You can count on it.”

The gigolo grabbed Vince by his collar and pushed their lips together, kissing him until both of them ran out of breath. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Vince.”

The blond blushed like a schoolboy as he heard his name pronounced by him. “Yeah, it was nice for me too… Nikki.” His voice rose three octaves as he uttered the phrase, which Nikki must have noticed, judging by the grin on his face, making matters even worse.

“Anytime you want... you know you can have me”, Nikki whispered in Vince’s ear. He took a few steps back while maintaining eye contact before turning away and disappearing into the shadows.

Nikki collapsed on his bed, his mind running through the events of that night, which felt like a fever dream. Was it worth it? A voice in his head kept asking him. After meeting Vince, Nikki thought that it was.

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Tuesday

Monday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: anxiety, doctor’s offices, taking pain pills (not sure if I need to tag that, but just in case), stalkers, blackmail, swearing, non-consensual taking pics of nudes, slight body dysmorphia, self-loathing, toxic friends

Word count: 5,326

(A/N): another long chapter, my little wlw heart loved writing this chapter! Also holy shit I was not expecting the first part to blow up, thank you to everyone that read it! Gosh, it’s enough to make a grown woman cry :’)

You cracked open your crusty eyes to Wilbur poking his head into your room. “(Y/n), Dad wants you.”

You groaned rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out of them. “I’ll be down in a sec.” Your voice was scratchy and thick with sleep.

He closed the door silently and you heard his socked feet thumping down the hallway. Your pain faded slightly into soreness, but your shoulders and upper back were slightly stiff. After you drug yourself out of bed, you shambled down the stairs to see your family at the table eating breakfast. Your stomach growled loudly, making you blush slightly in embarrassment. 

Your eldest brother snorted. “Hungry (y/n)?”

You slumped into your seat next to him slowly shoveling food into your mouth. “You have no idea.”

“You wouldn’t be that hungry if you ate dinner when you got home like I told you to do last night, young lady. You better eat every single thing on that plate.”

There was no arguing with a stern Dadza, so you reluctantly complied. Meanwhile, Tommy and Tubbo were telling Wilbur about your match animatedly. 

“And the ball was like fwoosh and she- the ball and-and-”

“And she hit it and Haley hit it to the other side! It was so cool!”

Wilbur merely smiled listening to them ramble about how badass you were last night. They made you feel genuinely happy that they admired your volleyball abilities; they were probably your biggest fans and that made your day most of the time. You remembered the first match they came to during your freshman year, they had run up to you right after the end-of-match whistle blew to spew about how good you were on the court. They met the team that day. Your team adored having them at your games, over the years they slowly replaced your school’s mascot. They played a huge part in morale boosts before and during matches. 

He looked over to you, “I didn’t know my little sister could be so badass.”

You felt your cheeks flare up. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. It really wasn’t anything special.”

“(Y/n),” Philza pursed his lips, “you did all that with a bruised back, I’d consider that something special.”

“Wait (y/n), you’re hurt?” Tommy and Tubbo looked at you with wide concerned eyes.

“Yeah, but it’s not that bad. I can still move and stuff.”

Techno rolled his eyes, “it’s bad if you’re going to the doctor for it.”

“Eh, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did yesterday, so I’m not worried.” 

“You’re deadass wincing everytime you move your arm,” WIlbur deadpanned, “it clearly still hurts.”

“Well yeah, I didn’t say the pain went away completely. Fuckin’ dumbass.”

“Language,” Philza glared at you two, gesturing to the two fifth graders watching the exchange with interest. 

You and Wilbur resumed eating and murmured out a defeated “sorry Dad.” You both glared at Techno when he huffed in amusement. 

“If you three keep bickering, you’re going to be late to school. Remember, you two have to drop off Tommy and Tubbo today cuz I’m taking your sister to her appointment. Now go get ready, I’ll take care of your dishes.”

Your brothers took off up the stairs, each competing to get to the bathroom first. Occasionally, you would hear shouts and slapping noises. You felt glad you didn’t have to deal with that today. Judging by Techno’s gruff voice laughing and an explosion of loud complaints from the rest, you assumed that he won today. “I swear, they’re gonna put me in an early grave.”

“You and me both Dad, you and me both.”

You went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of pain pills from the junk drawer. Various bottles of Motrin and Advil were scattered around the house because when you live with a rambunctious family like this one, people are bound to get hurt and headaches are common. Popping three into your mouth, you washed it down with a glass of water. The sound of the running water faucet and the slight splashing of water filled the silence of the room. 

“How’s your back? Does it feel any better?”

“Kinda, today it just feels more sore than throbbing, my headache went away mostly, and my shoulder doesn’t feel any worse, so that’s better I guess.”

He shut off the water and reached for a towel to dry off his wet hands. He moved over to the freezer and grabbed a frozen package of peas that your family never ate. You all used it whenever one of you would get a bruise. He moved behind you and held it against your back without warning. Flinching forward from the unexpected temperature change, you winced with the wave of pain moving brought you. 

“Shit, sorry.”

“You’re good. Just give me a little warning next time,” you chuckled. He gently placed it back on your back and you sighed from the slight relief that it brought you. You leaned into the peas and closed your eyes. “That feels amazing.”

“I bet. That bruise was pretty bad yesterday, can I look at it again?”

You reluctantly left the sanctuary that was the medical grade frozen peas and leaned forward, moving your hair out of the way for him. “Knock yourself out.”

He made a hissing noise as soon as he moved your shirt out of the way. “Dad, it probably looks worse than it feels.”

“...Have you seriously not looked at this yet? It looks pretty bad, hun.”

“Well, sorry I can’t move to look at my back without being in pain. I’ll try harder next time.” You snarked him.

“Hey, watch the attitude. Here, I’ll take a picture so you can see how bad it is.”

You heard the rustling of fabric as he fished his phone out of his pocket and the obnoxiously loud click of his camera app. You turned around to look at the damage. You squinted at his bright phone screen. Your entire back was swollen in some areas and was covered in ugly reds, blues, blacks, and purples. You made a disgusted noise in the back of your throat and cringed away from the screen. You always got nauseous seeing injuries.

“Yikes.”

“Yikes isn’t the only word I would use, it’s bad (y/n).”

“It looks worse than it feels, I promise. I’m gonna go get ready so we’re not late to my appointment. It sounds like the boys are finally done with the bathroom.”

You hobbled up the stairs slowly and made your way to the bathroom. The door was wide open ready for you to use. Turning on the light, you closed the door in a hurry so that your brothers wouldn’t try to get in again to hog the bathroom like they usually did. You frowned at your appearance. Your hair was sticking up in every direction and you had dark eye bags around your dull looking eyes. A few pimples dotted your skin like constellations in the night sky, but much uglier and more out of place. Turning your body, you scanned your figure. Your eyes watered as you realized that you had gained some weight. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were right, you looked like garbage all the time.

You ripped your eyes away from yourself in the mirror with disgust etched deep into your features. You were disgusting through and through. Ripping your brush through your hair, you winced at the pain emanating from the back of your head. You deserve the pain for letting yourself go. Once you were slightly more satisfied with your appearance, you stepped out of the bathroom and quickly changed into the clothes you would wear today. You decided on a hoodie and a pair of tights. You didn’t feel like dressing yourself up. 

You once again walked down the stairs and slipped on your shoes to meet your dad in his car. You idly scrolled through your phone while you waited for him, looking at your notifications for the first time that day. You had ten texts from the group chat that you were in with Adrian, Annie, and Sammy.

Sammy <3

(Y/n) where the hell are you?

Adrian <3

Do you guys think she ditched us?

I knew she was ignoring us

Sammy <3

Who ignores their friends?

Annie <3

(Y/n) apparently. 

She has more important things to do ig

Oh my god

Do you guys think she skipped school?

Adrian <3

I wouldn’t put it past her

Maybe she finally gave up

(Y/n)

I’m sorry guys, I just have a doctor’s appointment today

I would never ignore you

Sammy <3

Yk, it’s hard to keep defending you when you keep ditching us..

(Y/n)

I’m not ditching you!

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about my appointment

I’ll make it up to you guys

Adrian <3

How?

You’ve already skipped out on us enough already

Annie <3

Oh ik!

She can write our final research paper for us Dri!

I haven’t started it yet lmao

Adrian <3

Saaaame lmaoooo

Sammy <3

Guys, what about me???

Adrian <3

Idk, figure it out yourself

Sammy <3

Rude!

Uhhh

Ur gonna put together my final presentation for us history

(Y/n)

Alright, I can do that for you guys

Sam can you pls send me the rubric? 

Annie <3

Thanks love ;)

(Y/n)

No problem, I like doing things for friends

My dad’s coming, I gotta go

Talk to you guys later

Adrian <3

Byeeee (y/n), ur the best!

(Y/n)

: ) <3

You put your phone down as your dad started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. The drive was quiet as you stared out the window and thought about how much work you now had to do. On top of your own classes, you had two more to write and a presentation to make in a class you hadn’t taken since the first semester in your sophomore year. The research papers had to be at least four full pages long with a minimum of ten sources each due on Friday and you had no idea how big Sammy’s US history presentation has to be or what it’s even about. But that was fine, you’d do anything for your friends. 

“So, who were you texting? Your boyfriend?” He asked jokingly.

“Oh, just Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. I don’t have a boyfriend Dad,” because you were a closeted lesbian, but you wouldn’t tell him that anytime soon. “You know that.”

“I know,” he chuckled, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. How have they been?”

“They’re good. Adrian got a job at the diner, he’s a host. Sammy and Annie have been focusing more on raising their grades.”

“Good for them! You should invite them over for dinner sometime.”

“I was actually thinking that I could maybe go hang out with them on Halloween...?”

“(Y/n), the family was going to take Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating.”

“I know, but there’s always next year. Plus, we haven’t been able to hang out in so long! We’re always free at different times.”

“I don’t know (y/n), what if they don’t want to trick-or-treat next year? What were you planning on doing with them?”

“We were just gonna hang out at Annie’s house and watch some horror movies,” you lied. He would never let you go if he knew you were going to a party. Especially one where alcohol would be involved and hormonal teenage boys ran rampant actively scouting for an easy lay.

“...I’ll think about it.” The car pulled into the doctor office’s parking lot.

“Thank you Dad! It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out together.”

He chuckled as you both walked into the lobby, checked in, and waited for your name to be called. About ten minutes later, you were summoned by a nurse so you went into the back leaving your dad to wait in the lobby. The nurse recorded your height and weight (much to your dismay, you gained four pounds) and asked you the standard questions about your injury and uncomfortable questions about your overall health. The clacking of her acrylic nails on the plastic keyboard filled the awkward silence.

Once that was done, she left and you had to wait a little bit for the doctor. After slipping into the backless gown the nurse left, you mindlessly scrolled on your phone. Jumping when someone knocked on the door, you looked up to see your family’s doctor smiling at you.

“Hello (y/n), how are we feeling today?”

“I’m alright.”

“I hear that you had quite the fall onto some concrete, is that true?”

“Yes, I landed on my back and the back of my head.”

She reached over and squirted hand sanitizer onto her hands, rubbing it in and looking back at you. “Can you please lay on your stomach so I can take a look at your back?”

You nodded, shifting on the uncomfortable paper covered cushioned table onto your stomach. You felt her cold hands gently graze your bruises before she pulled out her stethoscope. “Can you take a good deep breath in for me?”

You complied and she instructed you to let it out. Doing this multiple times along your back, she put her stethoscope away and continued prodding at your exposed back. 

“There’s definitely some swelling in multiple areas… It doesn’t feel or sound like you cracked or broke any ribs, which is excellent… Do you have any pain deep in your shoulder when you move it?”

“Yes, I landed on it wrong last night at my volleyball match.”

“How would you describe your pain? Stabbing, sore, throbbing…”

“More sore, but a little stabbing pain when I move my arm.”

She moved her fingers to examine your shoulder. “It doesn’t sound like a sprain or fracture, can you move it up and down for me?”

You moved your arm up and down, front and back, and side to side. “You still have a full range of movement, that’s good. Can I have you sit back up again?”

You sat back up and she started testing you for a concussion. After passing her tests, you were cleared of having a concussion. “Alright (y/n), it appears that you only strained your deltoid and teres muscles and you have severe bruising along your back. Make sure you ice your back and, if you have one, wear a shoulder compression sleeve. Anti-inflammatory medications such as Ibuprofen will help with the swelling. Other than that, you have a clean bill of health! You can still participate in volleyball practices, but you need to take it easy. Don’t do anything that will strain the muscles any further.”

“Thank you Dr. Samson,” you smiled at her. 

“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to change back into your clothes and you’re free to go! You may leave the gown on the table.”

She left the room and you redressed yourself. Walking out to the lobby, Philza’s head perked up when he heard the door opening. He stood up and walked over to you with a slightly worried face. You both walked back out to the car.

“So?”

“Dr. Samson said that I don’t have a concussion, sprains or broken bones. She told me that I just strained my shoulder muscles and I need to keep ice on my back.”

He visibly slumped in relief. “Thank god. What’d she say about volleyball?”

“She said that I could keep playing, but I have to take it easy.”

“Good, wouldn’t want you missing finals on Thursday. Do you know if the team you’re playing is any good?”

“Dad, of course they’re good, we’re the top two teams in the area.”

“I bet their setter is nowhere near as good as you are and I bet the setter and spiker aren’t as synced as you and Haley are. You two make a good pair.” 

“Yeah we do, don’t we?” You looked out the window and smiled a little and felt your ears turn red. The very mention of Haley’s name was enough to make you feel like you were on cloud nine. The car fell silent again as you neared your high school. 

In your AP world history class, the class was looking at the test you had taken yesterday. Surprisingly, you got a 74% on the multiple choice part and a 50% on your essay portion, so that landed you with a just below passing grade. You thought you completely flunked that test yesterday, so that was a pleasant surprise. It took a good portion out of your overall grade in the class, lowering it from a comfortable A- to a slightly alarming B. You supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. Besides reviewing your tests, the class didn’t do much except starting the reading for the next chapter.

Your psychology online class went like it usually did, however your phone blew up with texts about midway through the block. Glancing down, you saw that it was Haley. Shouldn’t she be in class?

Hales : )

(Y/n) meet me in the locker room right after school

I need to talk to you before practice starts

It’s an emergency

(Y/n)

What’s going on?

Hales : )

I’ll explain after school.

Can’t talk about it over text

(Y/n)

Alright, see ya then ig

You felt your gut twinge. Something’s wrong, but you didn’t know what. You were worried about Haley, usually she was really bubbly. You’ve never seen the senior act so strange before. You could only wait the block out until the bell would release you from the confines of the library and into the locker room. After sending a quick text to your brothers that you were going to stay after school for your practice, you stared blankly at your laptop’s clock as you counted down the minutes left in the class period. Ten minutes. Eight minutes. Four minutes. Two minutes. Thirty seconds-

You shot up from your seat as the bell rang. Pushing past some groups of freshmen that congregated in the hallways, you made a beeline for the locker room. In the locker room, you found Haley sitting on the metal bench on the opposite end of the locker room with her back facing the last row of lockers and facing the brick wall. She was clenching her phone in her hand with an iron grip. You hurried to sit next to her.

“Hales, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

“It’s bad (y/n). Like, really bad.”

“What’s bad? You’re worrying me.”

Wordlessly, she unlocked her phone and handed it to you. On the screen was something that you weren’t expecting to see. You scrolled through the contents and felt your stomach drop with each scroll; someone took pictures of you and Haley throughout the match last night. Every picture was a violation to yours and Haley’s dignities, they had gotten zoomed in pictures of your boobs and asses. Deeper, there were even pictures taken of you changing into your volleyball uniform through your open window. You were only in your underwear. Haley had a similar picture that you scrolled past as fast as you could. Scrolling to the bottom of the text message thread, the person that sent Haley the pictures added a caption to the last picture. It was a picture of you and Haley together celebrating your match, her arm slung around your shoulder with your mouth open mid-laugh.

Unknown

I’m sending these out to the entire school unless you stop hanging around her.

If you tell anyone, the pics will be printed off and put in every single locker and bathroom the school has.

You’ll be the sluts of Klinkver High. 

Cut all ties now. You have two days. 

Do not try me.

“Jesus christ Haley. Who the fuck would do this? This is sick.”

She took her phone back and locked it without looking at the screen. “I don’t know (y/n). I wanted to tell you not to openly talk to me for a few days. We don’t know who took these, we don’t know what they’re capable of. I don’t wanna risk angering them.”

“We can find them! If we look close enough, we might find a few clues where they were sitting. Do you remember seeing anything suspicious last night?”

“(Y/n), our best option is to leave it. We just can’t talk in person anymore; we can still text each other.”

“Hales, how are we gonna not talk? I’m your setter.”

She ran a hand through her thick black hair. “I don’t know (y/n). Just-just don’t talk to me anymore, I don’t want your pictures leaked.”

“I don’t care about my pictures. My name’s been drug through so much shit this past year that it won’t affect me. I don’t want your stuff leaked.”

She gave a watery laugh, “you care too much, I love that about you…” Glistening eyes turned to look deep into your own. “I’m so scared (y/n), I don’t know what to do.”

You pulled her into a hug, wincing slightly when she squeezed her arms around your upper back. She buried her face into your shoulder and started shaking with muffled sobs. “Haley, I promise I’ll catch whatever sick bastard is doing this to you. You don’t deserve this.”

She said nothing as you rested your chin on the top of her head and started to rock her back and forth slowly. You two stayed like that even after her sobbing resided, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Glancing at the clock, you realized that you two have been in the locker room for an hour. Practice was set to start in fifteen minutes, people were going to start coming into the locker room soon. 

You reluctantly pulled away from the hug and looked Haley in her bloodshot eyes, “I’m not going to let those pictures of you get leaked. I swear on my-”

The door to the locker room swung open and loud laughter echoed throughout the room. Haley pushed you away and speed walked off to a bathroom stall, slamming the door shut behind her. 

“Damn (y/n), what’d you do? She’s pissed.” 

“It’s none of your business, Zara.” 

“Oh, so it’s a lover’s quarrel then~” She cackled, her hair bouncing slightly with each heave of her shoulders. 

“For the love of… Haley and I aren’t dating, we’re both straight.” She’s straight.

“Mmhm.” She brushed past you to go to her locker. You followed her, your locker was in the grouping next to hers. You shared the area with Haley. You changed as fast as you could so that Haley would have time to change before practice starts. Speed walking into the gym, Zara was hot on your trail wearing a shit eating grin.

“Why are you in such a rush? Giving your girlfriend the silent treatment?”

“Zara. We aren’t dating. For the last time, we’re both heterosexual, not homosexual!” You wildly gestured with your hands to emphasize your point, your voice being amplified by the vast gym. Coach Williams gave you a confused look from across the gym. 

“You just keep telling yourself that.”

“I’m serious.”

“Hi serious,” a soft voice replied from behind you, “I’m Jazzy.”

You groaned at the pun at the same time Zara started cackling, giving the short libero a high five. “Nice!”

“That was so bad, Jaz.” You couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto your face.

Zara poked your cheek with a wide grin. “C’mon, you’re smiling!”

“I am and I hate it.”

Your bickering continued with Jazzy watching you two with a content smile. The remaining members of the team (Haley, Marlene, and Zuri) filed into the gym right as Coach Williams blew her whistle. 

Practice went by slowly without Haley talking to you. Sure, you had the rest of the team, but it didn’t feel the same with you guys ignoring each other. If the team or Coach Williams noticed you two not talking to each other, they didn’t say anything. By time practice was over, you all went to the locker room to change. After slipping into your fuzzy pajama pants, you sat on the bench and texted Wilbur to come pick you up. He was supposed to pick you up after practice today because he and Techno took the car home after school. Five minutes passed and he still didn’t reply. He probably won’t see the text until you got home from walking.

You sighed, resting your chin in your palm as you leaned forward. One by one, the girls left the locker room until it was only you and Haley left. 

“Do you need a ride (y/n)?” She asked gently.

“But what if the person sees us together? I can just walk home, it’s not really a big deal.”

She rolled her eyes at you. “It is a big deal. It’s cold and dark out. You could get kidnapped or something. You don’t even have a coat with you. I’m giving you a ride whether you like it or not.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at her and stood up to walk next to her, “okay, mom.”

“Don’t give me that attitude young lady.”

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom!”

She gasped and lightly smacked the back of your shoulder, “I married your- are you alright? Shit, I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, you’re good. It’s just this damned bruise.”

She moved her hands and frantically turned you around to pull the neck of your shirt down. You two stood in front of the school’s main entrance with the nauseatingly bright fluorescent light bouncing off the reflective surface of the tiles. The orange tinted street lights lit up the sidewalk outside.

“(Y/n)-”

“I know what you’re gonna say.”

She scoffed, “oh really? What am I gonna say then, o wise one?”

You turned around to face her, “‘oh, this is bad, yadda yadda yadda.’ Everyone’s been saying that about it. Honestly it looks worse than it feels. Tis but a scratch, m’lady.”

She snorted and covered her mouth, “never call me ‘m’lady’ ever again.”

You started to walk to her car in the empty parking lot. “Or what? What’re ya gonna do?”

“I swear to god, (y/n), I’m gonna leave you here.”

“Do it, pussy. Bet you won’t.”

“You really wanna bet?”

You grinned at her, “hell yeah.”

She broke off into a mad dash to her car, laughing freely into the night sky. You chased after her trying not to move your arms much, your laugh mixing with hers like a perfect symphony composed of the world’s best musicians. The sound of your rubber soles slapping the pavement resonated throughout the parking lot as you quickly gained on her. Reaching out to grab her shirt, she smirked at you and sharply turned to the right into the grass.

You grinned as her pace slowed down slightly. You’d be able to catch her at this pace. You pushed your legs to move faster as she looked at you from over her shoulder and shrieked in surprise at how close you were to her. You cackled at her reaction, reaching out once again, you grabbed her hand. She was stopped dead in her tracks as your shoulder was yanked with the sudden momentum, making you hiss in slight pain. Despite that, you didn’t let go of her soft hand. 

You both stood there under the moonlight and the soft orange street lamps trying to  catch your breath. The slightly damp blades of grass tickled your ankle as you shifted to face her better. Through gasping breaths and a dopey grin, you said “you… lost, pussy.”

She let out a breathy laugh as she pulled you to her car. “Shuddup.”

“Make me~”

She opened the passenger side door for you and got into the driver's seat. Her car smelled like vanilla and citrus. “Oh, you will later when I make you do more sets in weight lifting tomorrow, hurt shoulder be damned.”

She turned on the ignition and the car revved to life, soft indie pop wafted from the speakers. She backed out of the parking space and sped off to the main road. “You wouldn’t…”

“I’m your captain, (y/n). I can make you do whatever I want.” You felt your cheeks heat up a tad. You were happy that she couldn’t see you.

“Naw, you’re too much of a softie for that. Admit it, I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger.”

She chuckled as she pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “...Alright, maybe you do. Just a bit.”

She turned to look at you. She looked stunning with the shadows accentuating the contours of her face perfectly. You found yourself glancing at her lips and leaning slightly towards you. To your surprise, she started leaning into you as well. Before your lips could finally mesh together, she pulled back with a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. You felt a rush of disappointment and fear course through your veins. She didn’t like you like that, you should’ve known better. You were so stupid. So, so stu-

“I can’t (y/n). I want to kiss you so bad, but we can’t. Not yet at least. Not until we find the pervert that took those pictures of us.”

You sighed, “right.”

The car was filled with awkward silence. Not even the soft music streaming from the speakers could alleviate the awkwardness. God, you really screwed up your friendship, didn’t you? Sammy, Adrian, and Annie were right; you messed up everything you touched.

You coughed, “I think I’m gonna…”

“Yeah…”

You grabbed your bag and walked into your house, the smell of chicken slapping you in the face instantly. Without checking in with your dad, you hurried up the stairs, desperate for the warm comfort of your bed. That, and if you wanted to get Sammy’s presentation and Adrian’s, Annie’s, and your research papers done by Friday, you had to start as soon as you could. You were going to skip dinner for tonight, you’d just grab more breakfast tomorrow morning. 

You plopped on your bed and got started on your research paper. Luckily, you already had all of the sources you were planning on using and the rough outline of each body paragraph, so writing the actual paper wasn’t going to take long. You worked until you heard a knock at your door. 

“(Y/n),” Techno’s monotone voice called out, “dinner’s ready.”

“Tell Dad I’m not hungry. Practice’s got me beat, I’m going to bed soon.”

He grunted, “you know he’s not gonna like that right?”

You felt frustration start to swim circles around your chest, “Techno, just tell him that I’m not hungry right now. Please.”

“Damn, you don’t need to be like that. I’ll tell him.”

You heard his stomping footsteps thumping down the hall. Shit, you pissed him off. You were a terrible person, he was just trying to get you to eat something, Pushing back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, you forced the panic that was starting to swirl around your body in laps deep into your being. You didn’t have time to deal with your failures and stupid emotions, you had to get this done. You didn’t have time to think about Haley’s warm breath ghosting across your lips. You didn’t have time to think about how she probably regretted almost kissing you. You didn’t have time to fall into an anxiety spiral, you needed to focus if you wanted Adrian, Annie, and Sammy to forgive you. You ruined yours and Haley’s friendship and did the same to yours and Techno’s. They were the only ones you had left. You needed to be a better friend.

Taglist (comment if you want to be added or if I missed you, it won’t let me tag some tumblrs :((( ):

@immadatmostthings  @thaticecreambish  @hee-hee-haw  @dearnataliealoveletter  @wasteofspacze  @dcml04  @bbigbbrainn  @dirtydiavolo  @vanhakirja  @rinzyx05  @misselsbells06  @ialexabsuniverse  @im-a-depressed-gay  @energy-drinkk  @mothra-main  @i-need-hugs  @dragons-lurk-here  @katj733  @m4r-s  @vievi  @dykeragee  @waterstrawberry  @aplaintart  @kakamiissad  @myunfinishedsymphony  @nagitokinnieissad  @autumnpleaves  @justanothergirlwithdemons  @zachariethememerie  @moon-asia  @m0on-blue  @strawberrysodababy  @akikko-yataro  @haikkeiji  @shiningsunrises  @cinnamonmochi  @queen-turtle-boiii  @imanewsoul  @sparkling-gayyyy  @angelicaschuyler-church  @vixenfoxpup  @ella-ivanov  @shio-yuki  @mosstea-png  @ijustshatbricks

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[lipstickontheglass1985]

soo ive been tagged by @i-am-an-atomic-bomb to name six albums ive been listening to a lot lately :) thank you! recently ive been having lots of putting on a specific song and listening to it a bunch of times moments so i havent been listening to whole albums as much but! i do listen to them. soo there we go (in no particular order):

1. umowa o dzieło by taco hemingway. listening to taco unironically helps me fall asleep sorry.

2. makes me sick, makes me smile by pretty sick. ive come across one of their singles on youtube i think (?) sometime during july and ever since i found out theyre releasing an album ive been really excited for it. check it out. it's good.

3. the mad gear and missile kid (do i even need to say the artist). i guess you could say its technically not an album blah blah blah but whatever. you got rickety bones im turning into some rats etc etc etc. easily sound of the summer and genuinely one of my fave mcr releases.

4. wakage ga itaru by atarashii gakko! one of those times i absolutely havent been disappointed by an artist suggested to me by spotify. i first listened to koi geba and it got stuck into my head so much that i decided to check out the whole album. totally worth it.

5. sprzedałem dupe by zdechły osa. havent been listening to the actual whole album as much but a lot of songs from it have been on my heavy rotation. i almost saw him live... im like genuinely upset over not making it cause a lot of my friends have seen him and apparently he puts on a great show. anyways!

6. le tigre by le tigre. well what can i say. its a classic! thank you kathleen hanna <33

ok now cover pics time i forgot that its part of the deal lmao

thanks to everyone who's gotten through this block of a post <33 tagging @nococknoballs , @zolwbozydar , @lushed , @dictatorgoddess69 and @mothgf xx

[ji-lixie]

hellooooo my love — how about pentagon & golcha for the ask game 🌼✨💖

hello my love!!

i ramble too much

for pentagon i'm unfamiliar aside from knowing & loving literally one song (daisy and im 99% sure thats bc of u!!)

I’ll listen to their top song on Spotify & tell you my thoughts

daisy is right underneath shine.... cursed bc i actually realLY WAIT

WAIT IS THIS THE ONE W THE FUCKING???? T*KTOK DANCES OR F*RTNITE DANCES OR WHATEVER???? I RECOGNIZE THT LIL BIT FROM VIDEOS ABT LIKE... KPOP CHOREO IN GENERAL...

oh hey this was the group dawn was a part of. id say i hope he's doing well but i'm actually pretty sure he is lmao

anyway shine slaps and i like the like. chorus ig??? its all good but i recognized the like... one line at the beginning immediately.

I’ll look up photos & tell you who stands out to me

uhhh im looking at group pics like last time which is probably not smart but: guy in the very middle in this picture, the two on the end here, and the guy who looks soft as hell w the blonde hair in this picture... hes kinda got teddy bear vibes in this pic tbh

I’ll tell you if I’d look into them more

i was abt to be like "time to add them to the list" but theyre already there adfkhsdf ill def have to listen more sometime!! shine + daisy are both v good and i feel like i'd enjoy more of their music if i actually sat down and listened fully :0

and for golcha... who r they? haha ive never seen bae seungmin in my life (drops pictures of him + my other beloveds) oh fuck oh shit--

favorite member / bias line

idk who my favorite is rn but its usually between bae seungmin + joochan + donghyun!! do not ask me why i dreamed of jangjun last night. i do not know.

seungmin is v funny and also i love his visuals and vocals and his dancing, joochan honestly seems to be a (cute) mess sometimes (the pasta...) + his vocals as well, and donghyun is a gamer boy and im weak for gamer boys as u may know. also he dance! :) altho i feel like i could def say tht like... all of golcha is funny lmao they are chaotic sometimes and i live for it <3 being bad at mafia is a small price to pay.

which member I’d fight (& why)

.... probably jangjun for dabbing in damdadi. some crimes cannot be forgiven sdfkhsdf he'd probably beat my ass bc i'm p sure the guy works out a lot but i'd still try.

other than that, i dont think there's anyone i'd fight??? i'd feel bad and also they could all def kick my ass unless we're going shorties vs the rest of golcha lmao even tho seungmin is almost definitely taller than me but we could kick his groups ass

favorite song(s)

that feeling + ddara + wannabe are all somewhere in my top golcha songs tbh? ra pam pam + without you also!! :0 but they have a lot of good songs, esp older ones, that im just leaving out lol (with me is on my repeat playlist for a reason...)

favorite thing about the group

god. so like. i feel like its a lil obvious to go 'oh i love their music' but literally i love how strong all of their songs seem to be. damdadi slaps so fuckin hard, especially to debut with? i feel like their choreography is always really on point and even if their line distribution isnt equal, it genuinely feels like they all do get to shine? i think typically its their dancers who get less lines (which makes sense to me) compared to vocalists + rappers, but it never really feels super unfair?

idk they also cover other groups pretty well imo but that might just be me being biased toward them lol i just think abt the time they covered fear by svt sometimes like??? also their aju nice cover... the original def has a distinct sound that u cant replicate but i do appreciate the golcha cover esp bc i think that was way closer to their debut??? proud of them <3

something i’d like to see from them

give my man his solo song. dont be shy. also give jibeom his solo song for ursa. it's what we deserve.

besides that... i dunno. i feel like ra pam pam + ddara both were more in the vein of like. a sexier concept? and i do love them for tht lmao but i wouldn't mind seeing something softer with the full group? more in the realm of "singing in the rain" but it def doesnt have to go tht far imo!! just a warmer like... autumn date-esque concept if that makes sense.

thank u my beloved i am love them and, more importantly, U!!! <3 i hope u are having a good day ily!!

[celeste-fitzgerald]

On The Third Day - ELO (album review/fangirl session)

Hello, I am back with another review - and a new profile pic (Hugh my beloved). As always, these are just my own personal opinions! Also, since I didn't specify in my review of the last album, for most of these I'm just doing reviews of the original releases (since that's what's on spotify. Secret Messages will be an exception, but that's still quite a ways away haha).

Now, I'm going to (maybe?) be controversial and use the US cover image here because the UK cover makes me laugh so hard. I'm sorry, I just can't take it seriously lmao (and yes I know it's a fold-out thing, but that does NOT fix how fucking blurry that photo of Jeff is).

Ocean Breakup / King of the Universe: 6/10 Ooh. I will begin by saying that 90% of the time when I listen to ELO, I just stick the massive ELO playlist on shuffle. But as I do these reviews, I listen to the albums from start to finish. And god damn, this song makes so much more sense listening this way. As an album opener, it's pretty darn solid! Starts off with a very strong, dramatic instrumental, then flows right into the equally epic King of the Universe section. Not really a song I enjoy that much as a stand-alone piece, but it's very effective as an opener!

Bluebird Is Dead: 6/10 Wow, now that I'm sitting down and intentionally listening to this one instead of just having it in the background, I'm noticing so much more about it. Like, the whole instrumental section at 2:30 with that really cool keyboard sound - I genuinely do not recall hearing that until just now, it completely slipped my attention. But it's super cool! Overall, this one sounds quite Beatle-y to me. Shocking, right? :P

Oh No Not Susan: 5/10 There are parts of this song that I enjoy a lot, and parts that are just a bit "meh" to me. Near the start of the song and at the very end, the fast-paced rising line with the violin is superb, I love that sound. But compared to that, the rest of the song is mildly disappointing to me. But, I love how they managed to take that super intense section and transition it to the much calmer section and make it flow naturally. It works, and it's nice.

New World Rising / Ocean Breakup Reprise: 5/10 Damn, the instrumental bits in all of these songs are no joke. Honestly I kind of keep finding myself wishing for Jeff to shush so I can hear the instruments lmao. This one's also a pretty good showcase for Jeff's falsetto at some parts. But yeah, to be totally honest, if they had just made this one a full instrumental, I think I'd like it a lot more.

Showdown: 8/10 Apparently only on some versions of the album, but I can't leave out this one. oKAY right off the bat, I haven't paid much attention to the bassline in this song before, but I'm hearing it now and it is GREAT. Fabulous job, Mr. Albuquerque. Overall just a really solid song, I love it.

Daybreaker: 9/10 Hell yeah, give me that sweet sweet instrumental. Richard Tandy carrying the band and doing a damn fine job of it. This one's super fun to listen to, and the strings are marvelous in it, too.

Ma-Ma-Ma Belle: 7/10 This one keeps growing on me more every time I hear it. It rocks hard, man. The guitar is great, and Jeff making his voice all raspy fits really well. One of the stronger ones of the album, imo. oH SHIT wait I just paid attention to the outro of the song, it's kinda creepy and I love it omg.

Dreaming of 4000: 8/10 Another of my top songs from the album that I enjoy more and more each time. I love the syncopated vocal line in the verses, and I really love the chorus too. Though....I just looked up the lyrics for the first time and I cannot for the life of me tell what this is about. (But I'm generally pretty shit at understanding what lyrics mean unless they're super straight forward, so that might just be a Me problem lmao.)

In the Hall of the Mountain King: 3/10 Eh. I'm not really sure why ELO did a version of this song. It's not bad, but I'd rather hear ELO stuff. Though I do enjoy Bev's drumming here...but that's about it lmao.

---

Overall: 7/10 If I take any random individual song from this album to listen to on its own, with a few exceptions it would just be kind of average (in my opinion). BUT. As an album, this is super solid. The previous two albums had some good stuff on them, but they felt a bit scattered. This one, on the other hand, feels really cohesive to me, and it's definitely a better experience to listen to it straight through rather than just picking a few songs here and there. This is where ELO is starting to hit their stride, and things are about to get damn good.

[shmooooo]

bright, candlelight, cutie pie, joy love, roses-🌹

bright - mermaids or fairies

Fairies 🧚‍♀️

candlelight - what did you dream about last night?

Idk sjxjjsjdkd

But I remember what I dreamed about a few nights ago bc I told Dawn about it

I don’t remember much but I almost had a dream ™ about Minho (skz) and I’m still salty it ended before we could do anything (He approached me and we sorta knew each other but not really. And we got to the topic of age and I mentioned that I’m two years younger than him and this switch in him flipped (he has a corruption kink and you can’t change my mind). And idk what happened then but at some point we were in his car (him in the driver’s seat and me in the passenger’s seat) and there was really sensual rnb music playing but we were just talking. But his eyes were like really dark and his voice was low and the conversation was pretty sensual too but I don’t really remember anything. BASICALLY we would’ve definitely fucked but the setting changed 🙃)

The same night I dreamed that I was listening to music while driving and skipped forward to a Rihanna song and suddenly noticed that the album cover that Spotify was showing was a pic of Eric with red hair??? And I was like?????? And then I went to Rihanna’s artists profile on Spotify and saw that for another album she had Seonghwa as a cover (the Seonghwa in the black-red-checkered suit) and I was super confused. But then I was suddenly backstage with Ateez, specifically Seonghwa, Yunho and Yeosang and we were talking about that album cover and Yunho and I got along really well and he was definitely flirting and very hot - and then I woke up 💀

cutie pie - most precious item you own?

My phone and laptop nendjjs HEAR ME OUT- thanks to all kinds of messengers and social media I can stay in contact with my friends 🥺 also while I do have language learning books, apps and videos really help 😅 AND I do like… all of writing there sjdjdj

ALSO my best friends got me a very cute and very soft mölang plushie for my 21st birthday ^^ he’s a chicken and his name is Kevin the kinky chicken, Kevin for short, and he’s my ultimate comfort plushie

(fun fact: my friend who isn’t into kpop jokingly suggested Kevin, and Brian and I just looked at each other like)

joy - do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

It’s more of a quiet wheezing most of the time jsjdjd

But I think I laugh loudly more often? (I have a bunch of different laughs so idk lmao)

love - what is your favorite season and why?

Later summer and early fall because it’s still warm but not hot so you can walk around in a tshirt but you can also start wearing sweaters and cute scarfs. Also in early fall when the leaves turn red, orange and yellow that’s just 🥰

roses - what is the most significant event in your life so far?

Back when I was in school, we went on quite a lot of trips, including trips to southern Austria for skiing, Rome and Poland. And while I loved all of these trips and they’re all dear to my heart, the one to Poland sticks out the most because I became friends with Brian there!! We were in the same grade but not aware of each other and during the trip she approached my other friends and joined us during activities and so we slowly started becoming friends. About half a year later, she asked me to get her into kpop and that’s when we started falling down a rabbit hole that we have yet to climb out of (not that any of us wants to)

So yeah, that’s how I met my best friend!! ☺️💕 @rose-sereniteeth ily my favorite coolest dumbass 🍒

Cute asks

[acenancy]

Just wanted to say that your newest nace pic edits are gorgeous & I was wondering if I could use one for the cover of my nace Spotify playlist? I absolutely understand if not! xx

tysm 🥺 and go for it!! also…if you want…can i hear ya playlist? lmao

and if anyone wants to use my pics for stuff like this, be my guest! just don’t repost on tumblr/twitter, i suppose?? lol