#that people in horrible marriages
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their relationship devastates me.
Tom and Shiv • Succession 2.10 — 3.09
#these gifs remind me of that one tomgreg fic#where greg's having this dark night of the soul about how he's 'not a good person'#and tom tries to comfort him by saying#'there are no good people#gregory'#you are surrounded by shitty people all the time#you just finally decided to drop the 'oh look at my bambi eyes#and face the inevitable'#and it just makes me think#about how tom and shiv behave horribly to each other#and to their subordinates#and i still desperately want better for them#for shiv to start as a political consultant again#and support the next jimenez with nate#and for tom to get out of this marriage#and find happiness with greg or honestly just about anyone else#and work just about anywhere else#and i know none of this will happen#and that they'll probably stay married#but sometimes i just really need to believe#that people in horrible marriages#who are horrible for and to each other#can write a new script;#they can't turn the clock around#but they can make different choices#chose different contexts#find new and more meaningful connections#because i just can't believe it's all one horrible#intergenerational cycle#i just can't see the world that way
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no one will understand me for this sorry 💔💔💔
#finds men from a series with 6 fans and says they should kiss#they SHOULD kiss#they're cutie patooties (horrible people with no redeeming qualities)#michael roa valdamjong#roa tsukihime#nrvnqsr chaos#nero chaos#chaos tsukihime#tsukihime#melty blood#yessir i love u melty blood#i want them to DIE (get married)#what did roa mean when his freak ass said “splendid my 17th marriage”??? i choose to think that means they're 16 times divorced#fanart#tsukihime fanart#melty blood fanart#lets go type moon fans#i stand with disgraced zoology professor nrvnqsr chaos and his stupid failure husband#both of them are men who used to be part of a church and are now running around shirtless#spent my 2 hours of free time thinking about them im afraid
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I think another aspect of conservative thought people need to understand is the idea that it's all about dominance.
The reason why sayings like "we don't want to trans your kids, we want trans kids to live" is because, in the conservative mind, you are replacing their dominance with your own. It can never be about what is best for others, it is always about expressing absolute power and control.
Natural selection, at its ideal, will weed out the people who "shouldn't live." If their existence is a threat to the already-established hierarchy, then it's obvious that they shouldn't exist in order to challenge hierarchy.
While this certainly isn't a "conservative-only" mindset, it's a trend I have noticed more in conservative spaces. This is why I don't always think it's helpful to go on about how, "Oh, we don't want to threaten your worldview. We just want people to live 😊". You will fundamentally be threatening their power in their minds. Therefore, nothing you say can truly take away from the anxiety, fear, and anger at losing control that may be instilled.
#politics#transphobia#transphobia tw#used the whole 'we want trans kids to live' because i personally think it's a good example..#...but isn't the sole example of such...#...take for instance the gay marriage debates from the early 2010s...#...'if we legalize gay marriage it's ONE STEP CLOSER to them taking OVER america and legalizing [horrible thing]!'...#...that is the anxiety of Losing Control and Losing The Divine Hierarchical Power Bestowed To You Personally By Gd Himself...#...i'm not saying all of this to dissuade people from educating people. but i want people to be aware of this dynamic...#...and to decide if they can (or should) personally go up to bat for others to educate people...#...i don't think you will go very far if you try to educate people without understanding on SOME level how their thought process will be...#...because it is likely that you are educating somebody who is going to see the world VERY differently...#...and they will often interpret what you are saying VERY differently than how you intended it to be interpreted...#...again while this isn't solely a conservative issue (believe me i KNOW) i notice it much more in those spaces...#...and since i am in spaces that WANT to educate people about this i think it is apt...#...it isn't a bad thing to want to educate. but again it's not helpful to just assume others are going to interpret you the way you want...#...it's definitely why i stopped making so many posts about educating others. i just don't think i can do it well...#...or at least in a way that doesn't Feel Threatening (even if it Isn't A Threat)
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HAU is the saddest ND game bar none in my opinion. Fundamentally so depressing!!!
#i know spy and gth and whatever like to tug at peoples feelings too#but i don't even know if hau was trying to be that sad but IT IS SO SAD#HUGE BUMMER ALL AROUND#now i actually do really like this weird ass game but i feel like its horribly depressing vibe is not discussed enough#both super obv fiona AND the kyler/matt sad marriage#like#yikes#hau#haunting of castle malloy#nancy drew
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NAH NO ABSOLUTELY NOT TELL MEEE TEEEELLLLL MEEEEEEE WHY I WAS PEACEFULLY SCROLLING TIKTOK AND I SEE ONE COMMENT SECTION FLOOODEEDDD WITH SHIT LIKE "astoria greengrass hate club lol" "astoria haters ⬇️⬇️⬇️" "I can't stand astoria" WHAAATTT WHAT THE FUUCCKK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING ABOUY WHTA THE VBGAGSJSLW I CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ON ABOUT IM GONNA FUCKINGFHFHFJFUFKM WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEEAAANN SHUT THE FYCK UPP OH MY GOD WHAT WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?????
anywayz number one astoria greengrass defender love her so much I will skin your whole body with my teeth if you try and fuck with her that is MY GIRL <3<3<3
#WHAT ARE THEY EVEN HATING???? THE THREE LINES ABOUT HER WE GET TALKING ABOUT HOW LOVELY SHE IS???? TF???#AT LEAST SOME HAD THE DECENCY TO ADMIT THEY HATE HER JUST BECAUSE SHES WRITTEN SO HORRIBLY IN FANFICS#YEAH CAUSE ALL THE DRACO SUCK UPS NEED TO GET HIS ACTUAL WONDERFUL WIFE OUT THE WAY TO SELF INSERT THEMSELVES AS AN UNRECOGNISIBLE HERMIONE#OR MAKE HIM SOME WEIRD LITTLE DEFENCELESS TWINK THATS BEING FORCED INTO AN ARRANGE MARRIAGE W/ A MEAN EVIL WOMAN SO HARRY CAN COME SAVE HIM#OHHHH YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME HATE FANFICTION IM SO ANGRY#THIS IS ACTUALLY WHY DISCERNING FANON FROM CANON IS SO IMPORTANT BECAUSE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN#SHUT UP OH MY GOD#im so mad#ASTORIA GET BEHIND ME 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺#JUST SO YOU KNOW DRACO WOULD HATE ALL OF YOU FOR SAYING THIS SHIT 🗣🗣🗣#this is not directed at any dramione or drarry fans who actually give astoria some sense of justice i dont hate all of you <3#JUST PEOPLE WHO ARE MEAN TO MY GIRL#astoria greengrass#astoria malfoy#drastoria#hpcc#i cannot comprehend that this angel of a woman HAS HATERS??????#fucking crazy out here bro#harry potter fans are something else oml#i hate tiktok gonna delete my entire account now ive had enough#/j
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everybody should include michael in their fics. this extra 2 feet of attitude thing he has going on is doing wonders for this scene
#I'm choosing his attitude to be 'im always right' which is going horribly for other people#mine#marriage contract au
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I just do not know if some people realize that Michelle not liking Ted’s constant optimism … was because it was a flaw of his lmao. A byproduct of 30 years of trauma. Ted has a MASK. that’s what even sharon calls him out on when they first have a proper conversation…Ted has a mask. And he has for years. And when you’re married to someone who won’t take that mask off because they can’t, you can get a little tired with it
#people acting like Michelle did something so horrible by not being able to handle Ted’s consistent emotional barriers#that’s not something he did on purpose!!! he really needed Sharon and others to help him get open with his emotions#Sharon’s probably the first time ted let himself actually talk about what happened with his dad#like. Ted’s constant optimism was implied within canon to be a mask. he could not let walls down#he had to be bubbly and make jokes and couldn’t be serious.#like the people who act like she’s a villain …..#it makes SENSE. when you’re with someone for like 25-30 years and they still can’t be emotionally open#also like. not to be that person but. we DO only know one side of their marriage#one side of their marital struggles#not saying Michelle Is perfect but the hate she receives all the time…
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the russell marrieds @ each other in like every episode: i love you so much and you are the best
me: [screaming, rending my garments, totally undone]
#SOMEBODY TAKE THEM AWAY FROM JFELLS!!!!!#I CAN'T BEAR THIS MARRIAGE BEING UNDER HIS EVIL SWAY!!!!!!!! he's gonna tear them apart!!!!!!! he doesn't care about anything!!!!#except randomly writing the worst plot twists you've ever seen in your mere human life!!!!!!!#(downton abbey made me normal)#seeing a couple love each other so much and be so open about it as a simple fact of life simply breaks me into pieces for some reason.#maybe because it's so common on tv for people to be hiding their feelings from each other?#idk.#whatever it is it's destroying me and i trust julian fellowes zero percent.#this is going to go horrible for me. i'm assuming.#dollsome's deep thoughts#the gilded age#(if jfells follows my blog: um. sorry. but you know what you did.)
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Honestly, If we're talking about female characters who receive misogynistic hate then Lyanna needs to be high up on the list. She gets so much hate for a) her proximity to a male character (Rhaegar) b) the pure fanon that people have invented surrounding her and c) resentment that she's such an important part of the story. And the thing is, for as relevant as she is, we simply do not know enough about her character to justify the hate that she receives. A lot of it is just people inventing reasons to dislike her. I also find it funny that a lot of people who dislike her are Rhaegar antis who characterize their relationship as forced and non-consensual, but then they'll still find reasons to hate her for it. She's supposedly bratty and immature, but also somehow intentionally seductive and evil for "stealing" Rhaegar and hurting Elia 🙄. I wish people would learn to separate canon from fanon when it came to discussing these characters.
#lyanna stark#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fandom nonsense#people calling her a brat for not wanting to marry robert likeshe's not a womanizing abuser#but I guess fuck female characters who don't sit down shut up and do their duties apparently#if she had married robert then Rhaegar wouldn't have left Elia for a /white/ women so Lyanna got what she deserved right? 🙄#I guess hating on Rhaegar alone doesn't feel right they need the spice of misogyny to balance things out#we get a lot more of her then other characters in her tier but it's still not so much to justify all of the hate she gets#people who hate on Lyanna can really go to hell cause there's not a single justifiable reason for it#imagine if I said I hated Elia cause she was a horrible wife who pushed Rhaegar into abandoning his marriage? and that if she'd#just done her duty then she and her children would still be alive? that's how people sound making things up to hate on Lyanna
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listen,, i am Not defending all of sky's actions or his personality but he's genuinely just not as bad as the fandom makes him out to be.
a lot of y'all forget that sky is a prince with extremely overbearing and downright abusive parents that refuse to listen to him or treat him with any ounce of respect. and that the whole diaspro vs bloom situation was started directly because his parents forced an arranged marriage between diaspro and sky, constantly telling her parents that it would work out and never listening to sky the hundreds of times he tried to stop it. like again, he's not great, he's my least favorite specialist. but that situation was never in his favor. he was a 16 year old that dealt with strict, emotionally abusive parents his entire life and got forced into an arranged marriage with someone he never loved and was constantly told that it Needed to happen for the kingdom. trying to play it out like he's a serial cheater with some nefarious master plan is like,, really weird. again! not a great person he does a lot of shitty things. but blaming that specific situation on him, a teen with absolutely no say in his life who just met someone he genuinely likes and could love, instead of his parents is incredibly weird to me.
#i just think that entire situation was extremely unfair for everyone involved#and its really weird when people try to make it out like sky was some serial cheater mastermind#like dude no he's a child with horrible parents and no control over his personal life#and yeah absolutely he shouldnt have lied or led bloom on. but also remember that Technically he was in disguise because#Apparently assassins are constantly after him (ignoring that winx does a piss poor job at showing that)#like idk this little boy who never had a say in his life suddenly meeting this little firecracker of a girl that has A Lot To Say#and isn't afraid of running her mouth or expressing herself. And even encouraging him to do the same?#like? yeah id fall in love with bloom too tf#and i feel like people forget that sky told both his parents And diaspro that he didnt love her like. multiple times.#anyway. i still hate sky.#but i hate him for like. actual reasons instead of He Fell In Love With Bloom Despite Being In A Forced Engagement Oh No#like we could criticize him for not trusting bloom or for projecting all of his own faults onto other characters#but trying to say he was at blame for just being like. a teen in love is Extremely weird to me#like i dont think it would be fair to say that he should just. never fall in love with anyone and should just be happy marrying someone he-#-never loved or had any romantic feelings toward#like you guys Can understand aisha hating her arranged marriage and falling in love with 'ophir' despite it#but you Can't understand sky hating his arranged marriage and falling in love with bloom despite it#its so much easier to say you dont like sky please just say that
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I was talking to my husband about Catholicism last night and how fucked it is that mainstream Catholic institutions are still not on board with divorce of all things. Like, of all the regressive, institutionally backwards ideals held by mainstream religious bodies it really blows my mind that the Catholic church is one of the few clinging to the idea of divorce as an innately irreligious behavior
#It's such a low bar and it blows my mind that they refuse to stop tripping over it#Yeah you can 'separate' but you can't in the eyes of the church have another marriage - and to remarry (civically) is to leave you...#...in a permanent stand of bad standing within the church#It's crazy like you can't even do the bare minimum on this one issue#There are so many spiritually centered people who would be happy to remain in the church if they could divorce#It's like a horrible spiritual blackmail - sure you can remarry and have kids with someone you love (an act of which we approve 90%) but...#...you have to exist outside the reach of grace :/ sorry bout that babes enjoy purgatory
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It is clearly a very bad idea for Oscar to just marry a woman and expect it's going to be fine
but the number of people who really think he's going to leave the church and immediately ignore his spouse and make it so obvious to her that he's not romantically interested (or actually even interested in her at all)...literally you would have to ignore everything about his stated intentions to believe that scenario is even something that has crossed his mind.
#truly some people just see a gay person and lose all ability#to distinguish any personality or stated intentions or like. full humanity#like yes i am so sure oscar van rhijn only child of parents who had a famously horrible marriage#who even in the midst of a devastating loss of fortune and very possibly reputation. is like *and I THOUGHT WE COULD BE HAPPY*#about maud#is just dying to trap his wife before going *btw i cannot bear to be in the same room with you actually*#it's so clear. not just from this argument but from many others. that oscar is like. not a character to a lot of people. he is just Gay
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me when i want to eat suna as in nom nom nom likr chicken fry but i need to be normal
#and he doesnt exist#i want to be a kid again#no like i will literally talk so much in tags#apparently i get real yappy ab night#batman more like yapman#go get it girl!!!!#what is this#it#we speak of#i dont fucking know#i have daddy issues guys#this has a point plz stay with me anyways i have daddy issues right#why do people want to think of their dads in bed like why will u connect ur significant other to ur father by calling them daddy#how does that work#like personally if i WERE to have sex <- im ace btw#i would NAWT want to think of my dad#then again i cant even write fanfiction if im in physical contact w any of my family members#esp my dad it makes my skin crawl#i should switch to sideblog but im too fkn lazy#someone give me a good fic to binge before i go back 2 wdo#white denim overalls save me.. save me white denim overalls....#no like next time i write anything the reader will have such a great relationship w their parents cuz i deserve that?????#also unreq. lvrs org literally came from me making up scenarios in my head at 2am#also super funny (not) i wrote the suna marriage proposal drabble while listening to my parents' one falling apart a bit more#“we're humans we all make mistakes” “how many times will you make the same mistake??” and im hiding from them writing the most horribly#in love couple#because i DESERVE THAT#pretend i never said any of this im so sorry chat#↬ talk talk talk !
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here i go again. I think I’d be a lot more tolerant of f/m romances in work if any of them actually engaged with the dynamics of heterosexuality. The two characters, no matter how much they like each other or get along, are performing the roles laid out for them. A script exists for their situation. In liking each other they are in some way bending to the whims of society (or not in the case of caste/class/etc differences. but those aren’t explored often either). The dynamics of their relationship have been already laid out and prescribed for them. He was a boy, she was a girl. He was supposed to treat her badly, ignore her whims, take control of their mutual lives. She was supposed to quit her job and hobbies, support his endeavours, relinquish independence. Even in e.g. sci-fi set in a world free of misogyny, we the audience still expect a degree of gender conformity from a f/m relationship.
This should introduce some interesting drama. Shouldn’t it! If people are getting into a relationship where they have to bury their own desires and dance out the little steps they’re supposed to--shouldn’t that cause tension? Angst? Shouldn’t there be some sort of fear that they don’t actually like each other, they’re just doing the done thing? Shouldn’t there be internal conflict over whether they have to adhere to gender roles to make the relationship work? When this does happen it’s fun and interesting.
Ao no Flag does it. Relationships between female and male characters are strained, torn, twisted by the crushing pressure of a) inevitable heterosexuality b) having to perform gender roles to pass the heterosexuality test. I’ve heard that Pale Moonlit Dusk and Lovely Complex do it, though I haven’t read them. But time and again I keep getting reminded why I avoid anything with a romance in it
#kelsey rambles#aargh. annoying.#another example: in DE harry's ??? with the netpicker or with klaasje is marinated in his misogyny.#both relationships are all about his horrible failed masculinity and his expectation that a woman is going to come in and fix it for him#they're not romances but at the very least they deal with the implications of his advances as much as the advances themselves#oh or black sails. eleanor's three relationships with max vane and whatshisface.#her falling in love with woodes rogers is literally and metaphorically her abandoning independence/bisexuality/agency to subsist off men#her Thing with vane is constantly defined by their power struggle. vane's physical strength and reputation with his men is a threat#so eleanor does actually have to keep kicking him in the nuts (politics-wise) in order to keep the relationship balanced between them#in the misogynistic environment of nassau. that stuff is interesting!#then with max we have the contrast. eleanor's relationship with vane is a struggle against inertia (marriage and a baby carriage)#her relationship with rogers is a deal with the devil (sacrificing herself for the sake of the imperial benefits. learning that it's fatal)#her relationship with max is also rife with power struggles but it's allowed to breathe and flow in a way the others don't. they can engage#as people and talk about things and ideas.
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i think one of the things i want to do over break for funsies is like. rewatch every pak drama of the major contemporary writers nationally hailed as progressive (e.g., umera ahmed, farhat ishtiaq, sameera fazal, etc.) and see how many of the male leads i come out actually still liking. like i want to make an excel spreadsheet cataloguing every red flag that went under my radar as a kid. for science
#bc if we are being real. sooo many of these guys are nothing short of rancid#and while i get the point of a lot of these dramas is to show emotionally stunted men grow#idk how much tolerance i have for certain behaviors now like idk..#tangentially this is also why complaints of saif from kuch ankahi Really amuse me#like ok so all of the most toxic and insecure men imaginable aren’t a problem for most pak drama fans#but a man who simply lacks agency and is maybe a bit cowardly bc his mother overimposes on him is horrible and unappealing..#like i’m not saying people have to like him or have a crush on him by any means#but i think it’s weird people are blatantly ignoring he’s being used to comment on how mothers emasculate their sons and strip their agency#and how that doesn’t always translate to those sons being weird toxic alpha males but can simply make them cowardly and unable to stand up#for themselves. which yes. is totally worth criticizing. but it’s strange people think samiya is coddling him#simply bc she’s willing to ask him what he thinks when his mother does or says certain things#if she were coddling him she wouldn’t even bother worrying that he’s a pushover#but instead what she does is prompt him to slowly recognize that he has his own thoughts and feelings and that he can act on him#and that she’s not going to solve his problems for him bc he’s capable of solving them himself#and idk i think that is a narrative worth telling. and i am so willing to cut him slack for being a coward bc he’s the farthest thing from#a toxic alpha male. people have twisted him into being this horrible liar cheat etc for liking someone else prior to his marriage#despite the fact that we are literally being told and shown he’s forced into the marriage and his mom Knows he likes someone else and she#doesn’t care. saif cannot realistically say no without effectively running away and he’s incapable of that bc he fears his mother#he’s not a bad person. he’s just a coward. and his growth will entail that he becomes someone brave enough to take a stand for himself#and personally i am way more open than whatever shite we have in other dramas where it takes a saas abusing her bahu for her son to wake up#to be deleted
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if we’re just out here confessing to you then: i simp for you every single day on this horrible site 🥺
AND I FOR YOU MY DARLING!!!!!!!
#not to be dramatic but marriage documents express shipping#(this is the part where we pretend it hasn't taken me over a week to get to this#- due to the fact that i don't respect or agree with the passage of time)#where was i? marry me#this made my entire day (week) and i'm giggling so much people are asking questions#god bless you and this horrible site#simping well and truly reciprocal#did i mention. marriage#MWAH#ask#letmelovekoo#💜💜💜#thank you so much my dear i think you're fantastic
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