#that outlasts everything else until the end

[ominouspuff]

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[machinavillage]

i think everything in my life is bad rn like all i do is get myself into relationships and go "this is the best i can do i cant go anywhere else" and jobs too. even my own therapist i dont get along with him and ive pretty much never gotten along with any and i stayed with the last guy for 6 years even though it wasnt helping because i was like "i cant go anywhere else im scared". guy got probably unprofessional with me and i didnt like that but my reaciton to everything is just 😑 and it only ended when he quit

[fancyfeathers]

Hey Fancy! Apologies if this is a wee bit long but it’s a random platonic yandere Batfam idea I’ve had for a long time. Adopted daughter who becomes an investigative journalist. (With Outlast crossover)

Darling was a product of one of Bruce’s affairs and he never really cared, he paid child support and that’s about it. Darling didn’t care as she and her mother were happy together until they weren’t. Darling’s mother starts to have to work longer hours, coming back more and more hollow until there’s nothing left but her corpse. Darling had a gut feeling her mom died because her mom’s boss was cutting corners in safety at some chemical plant and forcing long hours on workers. 

Of course darling has to go to her father’s house now and live with him (I imagine she was adopted a year before Jason died) after a week she’s asked if she wants to become Robin to which she refuses. She wants to fight the criminals who act as altruists, such as corrupt leaders and politicians, companies who have blood on their hands but hide it, because that’s the hero who could save her mom. Bruce accepts this but the family just seems to forget her. Not out of maliciousness, except for Damien, they just don’t have time for a non-vigilante sibling. She feels alone and when Tim and then Damien are welcomed into the family they neglect her too. Damien even mocks her for being useless. The only family she had there is Alfred, as he made sure to care for darling whenever s he could. 

When darling turns 18, she gets out of that house and goes to a university to study journalism. She becomes an investigative journalist who gained her reputation for going deep into the depths of corruption’s depravity and meets this one dude named Miles Upshur who she becomes partners with as they both are freelance journalists because they don’t censor the truth. They get an email one day telling them about messed up things happening at Mount Massive asylum.

They both go and cue the events of the game Outlast and Outlast Whistleblower. I’m not sure if you are comfortable with the contents of those games so I summarize it by saying the patients were being experimented on and broke free causing Miles to get trapped in the asylum with no way to fight back. He only has places to hide and a camera with night vision that drains his batteries. He gets very injured and Whistleblower is the same concept as it’s the same place but from the perspective of the one who sent the email. I imagine the darling was somehow separated from miles but ended up getting out of there with the whistleblower.

She took the footage and instead of letting the whistleblower release it, as the company begging the asylum would hunt him and his wife and kids down, she would be the one as her reputation precedes her. But after dropping the whistleblower off at his home she has no choice but to go to her old one, cause if the company couldn’t ruin her reputation, could just silence her like they did with everyone else. The batfam is going to be very confused when a freshly traumatized, bloody,and bruised darling shows up on their front porch, clutching camcorders to her chest like a lifeline. Who knows, they might just not let her out if this is how she ends up after being on her own.

again really sorry if this is weird or too long! It’s just been brewing in my brain and I needed to share it

God it’s been forever since I played Outlast, I don’t remember everything about the game cause I was screaming and crying for the most part and I literally could only watch Whistleblower and had to skip some stuff

This might not be entirely game accurate cause it has been a hot minute but I will do my best

I do not think Bruce would be exactly neglectful especially since this is yandere content and obsession starts when they normally meet their darling, like a root that takes hold and begins to grow after certain events. I imagine that her mom did not want her daughter to meet Bruce cause she thought he would not be a good influence, the whole billionaire playboy persona. She raised her daughter on her own until her death, her daughter can remember sitting in the hospital when the doctor told her that she was dead, died of radium poisoning, her body decaying while she was still alive.

She remembers sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting after the staff called her biological father to pick her up, a nurse sitting with her. She knew why her mother did not want her to meet her, but her mother was wrong to an extent. She honestly expected someone like Alfred to pick her up, who she knew because he would meet with her mother for fund related affairs since she did not want her daughter knowing her father…

But Bruce was the one who picked her up, in fact he practically came running when he got the call from the hospital when he was at a gala.

When Bruce came into the hospital waiting room, he kneeled down to her level and took her little hands in his, he felt so sorry for not knowing, he could have helped, but for now what he can tell her is…

“Everything will be okay, I’ll keep you safe.”

Bruce is not intentionally neglectful, he really does try his best, but between being Batman and handling his daily affairs as Bruce Wayne he just does not have the time besides to have meals with her. He does keep her safe, puts a tracker in her bag or jacket in case anything goes wrong, but as if something will go wrong while she is playing soccer after school.

Dick is also probably very busy as well to give her much attention but he is pretty similar to Bruce in the way that he cares but he just does not have the time to now that he is Nightwing. He occasionally takes her out to do things, and he apologizes for not being able to spend more time with her, but he is just so busy.

Her and Jason are probably the closest, he is her big brother in his eyes. He helps her transition into her new home the most, making pillow forts, playing video games, taking her out to play in the snow. Then one morning she comes downstairs to see Alfred looking so solemn and Bruce sitting in an armchair in the living room, his head in his hands and still in the Batman suit, but no sign of Jason…

“Dad?”

She knows something is wrong so she hugs Bruce and it is the first time she sees him cry, he hugs her back, as if scared to let her go… but that is because he is.

“Oh sweetheart… I am so sorry.”

He was going to ask her to be a Robin one day, Jason would not have the mantle forever since after all Dick didn’t, but now he can’t stand the idea of loosing her, so he’ll keep her safe, even if that means keeping her at an arms length.

I think after Jason’s death he would probably send her to boarding school in a safer city like Metropolis or boarding school in a small town with next to no crime rate. It breaks his heart to send her away like that, but it is what keeps her alive. She comes home on the holidays and breaks but there is just an aura about the house now that Jason is gone, a constant state of sadness and as if a hand is holding onto her, which is fair because when she is home she isn’t allowed off of the manor grounds, Gotham is just too dangerous. That doesn’t mean they make more time for her, no her summers and holidays are just as lonely as they were before, only this time she is isolated from the outside world and left lonely by her own family.

Tim is similar to Dick in the way that he feels bad but does not make much of an effort to spend more time with her, even less so than Dick does. He only texts her every now and then so show he somewhat cares and talks with her at family meals, but that’s it.

Then there is Damian, she cannot stand him. She knows he grew up entitled in the League of Assassins but he cannot even pretend to be nice. He talks to her as if she is beneath him, despite the fact that when he is brought into the manor she is a senior in high school.

“No wonder you never became Robin, why would father let the most useless child even-“

“Damian, that is enough!”

Luckily Bruce or Alfred normally intervenes and defuses the situation before Damian says something too extreme.

Then she graduates high school and moves on to university, which Bruce pays for in full without hesitation. It is there in university that she meets her partner in crime, Miles Upshur. They are practically joined at the hip and then when that first finals come around and their project is to do a mock investigation and article and they get to choose a topic to do it on and then Miles asked her…

“Hey, what do ya want to do this on? Lexcorp? Abuse in the ballet industry? Maybe-“

“The radium scandal in the Gotham City Chemical Plant.”

“That’s oddly specific, why?”

“It’s how my mom died.”

And that’s how everything started with their chosen path of investigation. They graduate and the two of them even get photos in their graduate robes and degrees together. Her family comes, which an empty seat to honor Jason, despite him watching from a back doorway, she does not need to know what happened to him in the Lazarus Pit and he certainly won’t be caught dead with Bruce at the time.

Bruce is only okay with her going into journalism because he thinks she’ll be working behind a desk at a paper, not what her and Miles plan on doing…

If he knew he certainly would not be happy and try to find a way to interfere…

But sadly he never remembered to ask exactly what she was going to do.

Her and Miles have done a number of stories together, after the first five or so Bruce found out the kind of work she was doing and repeatedly called her to try to talk her out of it, but she would ignore his calls every time.

It was just supposed to be another job, not whatever this was…

They got an email from an anonymous worker, asking to investigate the Murkoff Corporation and their actions at Mount Massive Asylum. The two even joked during their car ride over to the asylum, laughing about stories she shared about her life at the manor and their old college days, they had no idea what they would find inside.

The asylum even looked messed up from the outside, but the inside was a thousand times worse…

Patients who were experimented on, and now they were inhuman and trying to kill, disassemble, mutilate them, you get the idea…

An insane priest to put it lightly…

Dead bodies all over, murdered in horrible ways…

Everyone left alive in there was less than human, insane, or just about to go insane…

And when I say insane, I mean Joker levels of insane.

They get separated along the way, which is good for her, but not so good for Miles.

She makes it out alive thanks to their anonymous source who sent them the email in the first place, Waylon Park who is a software engineer. The two escape together and due to her shock she can’t remember much until long after she left Waylon at his home and she is pulled over at a rest stop half way between Lake County, Colorado and Gotham City, New Jersey, way to exhausted to continue on. She reaches for her phone and finally calls Bruce back.

“D-dad… are you there?”

“Yes, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“S-so much… I want to go home… please I…”

She passes out from exhaustion while on the phone…

But luckily, do you remember what I said about Bruce putting trackers on her things? He never stopped when she was an adult.

When she wakes up she is back home in the manor, in her old room. She is laying flat on her back with everyone around her, even Damian and…

“Jason?”

“Ya… I’m here, lovebug. Just rest, you certainly need it.”

“Need it? For fucks sake she is missing a finger!”

“Dick, shut up-“

Bruce yells them to shut up and he holds her bandaged and stitched hand in his…

“Sweetheart, what happened?”

She only points to the camera in her things as asks them not to play it in front of her. They all watch it together in the Batcave before patrol and…

“Oh my god.”

It is worse than what the Joker did to Jason.

When she finally recovers and is going to write the story and-

No she is not allowed to, Bruce will handle the situation, most likely bringing it to the attention of the Justice League.

In fact she is not allowed to write another story again, she is not leaving the manor again. She is not a hero, she is just a reporter, and Jason is unable to fully move on after what happened to him so how well will she fair out in the real world in her fragile mental state? What if something happens that triggers those memories? They are not letting her take that risk.

Most days she is kept in her room, a controlled environment to make her feel safe. Then most nights one of her brothers or Bruce sleeps beside her in bed after patrols in case nightmare come up and she wakes up screaming. If her mental state get too bad they’ll sedate her so at least her mind is calm and she is not getting flashbacks. Bruce eventually gets her a therapist to work through what happened to her so at least she can have some what of a normal life after what happened…

Well as normal as you can get when you are locked inside for the rest of your life.

[hahaifolded]

141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Thanks for the ride (Long Drabble) Author's Notes: Personally this one is the worst one of the four. Also I didn't expect this to be this long. Warnings: MDNI, Angst

Did Soap enjoy being a little shit? Most of the time. But when it involved hurting you, even disguised as Price’s doing, he couldn’t find any joy in it. He may have successfully ruined Price in your eyes but at what cost?

He knew that you would only take so much of this. He wasn’t stupid. You will snap one day and all of their efforts to keep you will end up being futile. But some sick part of him hoped that you liked them enough to stay. That’ll you’ll hold out as much as they have so far.

And if you hold out long enough, maybe, just maybe, Soap can outlast the others. It’s only a matter of time before the others get over their little crush. Right?

But until then, he’ll be waiting. He’ll keep his distance but he’ll come as soon as you start calling.

Like now, as his phone lights up with your name. It’s Friday morning and he’s currently spotting Gaz on the bench press when his phone starts to ring. His heart jumps when he sees your name. He swipes his phone and answers it.

“Sergeant MacTavish,” he says. He cringes at his words.

“Sergeant,” you start. He could cry. He’s not just your sergeant, he’s Johnny, your Johnny-boy. “I am so sorry to bother you so early but I didn’t know who else to call.” He could tell from the tone of your voice that you were in trouble. He turns around to avoid Kyle from overhearing.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I'm okay, but... I... I'm on my way to base, but my car just broke down. I'd walk but I won't make it on time to today's meeting if I do. Is there anyway you can pick me up? I'll pay for gas and your time. Again, I am so sorry for bother--"

"It's not a bother. I'll be there in 10." He hangs up the phone before you can say anything else. Soap was truly God's favorite. Despite everything, you still called him. And like always, he'll answer.

"Everything good there, buddy?" pipes up Gaz.

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. Uh... just one of the techs," Soap explains. He grabs his bag and tells Gaz he has to go... "bomb emergency." He leaves and rushes to his room. He zips through his room, trying to change into something less sweaty. He wasn't sure why, but his heart was racing.

Was he nervous?

Of course he was nervous.

This would be the first time in over a month that you called him for something that didn't involve a mission. There would be no Ghost, no Price, no Gaz to get in his way. He sprays some perfume that you had gotten him for his birthday, grabs his keys, and runs out of his room.

It's just a straight shot - straight down the hall and to the parking lot. Should be easy?

Wrong.

Waiting for him at the door was his fellow sergeant, Kyle Gaz Garrick.

"Where you going there, buddy? Isn't techs on the other side of the base?" He stands up straight, staring the Scotsman down.

Soap does the same. One way or another, he was going to give you that ride. "It is, but it'll be faster if I drive there. So if you can move, you'd make my day." He tries to side-step Gaz, but Gaz stay still. "Move!" Soap tries to push his teammate. Kyle pushes back, pinning him up against the wall, his arm over his neck.

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice? Mate, your brightness and volume were all the way up ," he scoffs. "You really think I'm going to let you be the hero here."

"Get off!" Soap roars. He shoves Kyle back and punches him in the gut, forcing the sergeant to fall to his knees. However, it does nothing to stop him as Kyle lunges at the Scotsman, forcing him on the floor. They tussle for a bit before two pairs of arms pull the sergeants off from one another.

"What the hell is going on here?" commands Price. He has Soap in his grip while Ghost grabs Gaz.

"Soap here is trying to see them without us," Gaz spits out. Soap feels Price's hold on him tighten. Soap tries to explain himself. How you had called HIM for a ride and he was just trying to be a good teammate.

Price lets out an empty laugh. "Just like how I was trying to help with lunch." Fuck. Soap knew that was going to bite him in the ass, but he didn't think so soon. Ghost lets Gaz go. Gaz walks towards Soap and snatches the keys from his hands.

Soap tries to stop him, but it's no use, Price isn't budging.

And you of course don't know that all of this is going back on base. You're stuck in your car, waiting for Soap to come pick you up. You weren't happy that you called him, but you really had no choice. The bus had already passed, you didn't have enough time to walk, and it looked like it was going to rain. Besides, Soap said it wasn't a bother.

15 minutes have passed and you were starting to get antsy. The meeting was going to start soon and Soap still hadn't come by. You decide to text him... worst case, he's driving and can't answer.

You: Hey! Sorry to bother, but are you close? Again thank you so much for the ride

You put your phone down and look out the window.

Buzz, buzz.

Johnny-boy: Something came up. Sorry.

No fucking way. You could cry right now. And not even out of disappointment, but out of anger. You don't even bother to answer. You turn off your phone and jump out of your car. At this point, it didn't even matter. You were going to be late either way. What's the point of giving them a heads up?

And to your luck, it starts to rain... hard. Could your day get any worse? Fuck, your month, really? Whatever you did, there's no way it was that bad to deserve all of this.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn't hear the racing car blasting rock music behind you.

Back on base, Soap is close to just dying in his seat. The 141 are all in the conference room, waiting for your arrival. Gaz and Price are in their seats while Ghost blocks the door. He can see his phone in his Lieutenant's pocket.

Soap begs him to let him go. It's pouring out there and knowing how stubborn you could be, you're probably walking in this weather.

Price shoots him a pointed look. "You really think I'd let them walk in this rain. I already sent some rookies to pick them up." And on cue, his phone rings. "Look, it's the rookies."

Price answers the phone. But instead, of keeping his neutral face, he just frowns. "What do you mean they're not there?" Soap's blood runs cold. Price argues with the rookies for a bit until he hangs up. The room tenses. Everyone looks at Price with baited breath. They all assume the worst. But before anyone can even suggest it, the door opens.

"141! My favorite team! How are... what's with the long faces?" The men all pause. They all had forgotten that Nikolai was going to help them on this next op.

"Nik, not the time," Price grumbles out. All of the men agree. Right now, you were missing and it was all their fault.

Nik gets serious and takes a seat. He assures them that things will work out. Once you finish changing, you can all brainstorm and find a solution.

Once you finish changing?

Soap makes the connection first. He asks Nik if you were on base.

"Da. Found them on my way here." Soap could just cry out of joy. You were okay. You were alive.

His joy is cut short when you come in. You don't say anything. You take your seat at the end of the table.

You look at all of them with indifference, with apathy. "Let's get started."

Soap calls your name. He wasn't sure what he was going to say. All he knew was that he needed to talk to you.

You glare at him. "Sergeant MacTavish, we've wasted enough time today. Let's just do our job," you spit out. You reel in your anger. You were done with Soap, with this team, with everyone.

Soap sinks in his seat. He didn't think you were capable of hatred.

Word Count: 1450

More Thoughts - Next Thought

[misctf]

No Nut November

For Tommy and his friends, No Nut November had become a yearly tradition. While he didn’t necessarily look forward to it, the blonde always seemed to win- often being able to outlast his buddies. And while this year had certainly been close, it looked like Tommy was going to take to take home the bragging rights. Sure, his dick ached with need and he had been neglecting it for the past couple of weeks. And while his boyfriend often made fun of him for engaging in such a “stupid contest”, Tommy was more of a strict bottom anyway and got plenty of his needs met that way.

“Congrats on your victory babe.” His boyfriend had texted him, “I have a surprise for you when I get home.” The winky face at the end of the message told Tommy everything he needed to know- and he was definitely looking forward to whatever activities his boyfriend had planned.

But as Tommy continued to go about his daily activities, still ignoring the ache in his dick, a new feeling settled in his stomach. He rubbed his sore abs and took a few deep breaths as he felt an odd cramping sensation welling up from deep within him. He assumed it must’ve been something he ate and walked to the bathroom. But the discomfort didn’t seem to stop- only getting worse as his body temperature rose. He quickly removed his clothing, the cool air of the room feeling nice on his warm skin, while a cool draft caused his cock to stir with pleasure and pain. Tommy nearly doubled over at the feeling in his aching member- staring at it as it grew. He touched it gently and immediately fell to his back from the intensity of the pleasure.

“Wh-what the fuck.” He breathed out, lying on the ground, his eyes unfocused from the waves of pleasure and pain that coursed throughout his lean body.

And like a sudden compulsion, he felt his arms forced to extend above his head, an aching sensation emanating throughout them. He watched as his arms started to fill with muscle, while his hands started to shift and change- becoming wider while his fingers shortened and became stubbier.

“Fuck yeah, finally!” Another voice called out softly, so softly that Tommy barely heard it.

“Who’s there?” Tommy replied, fear taking hold of his mind.

But before he could register anything else, he felt another creaking and cracking of his muscles. This time, he watched as his pecs appeared to sink into themselves, his nipples disappearing, while a small hole formed in the center of what used to be his chest. At the same time, it appeared as though his legs were also beginning to shift. His feet were taking on the appearance of hands, while his leg muscles shifted, taking on an appearance similar to incredibly muscular arms. Tommy looked down at what used to be his arms and his eyes widened as he realized his hands were now two large and calloused feet, tufts of hair on the surface of them. And as his arms packed on more and more muscle, he felt his head being squeezed on either side.

“Ah this feels so good.” The voice was less soft, louder and more present.

Tommy let out a surprised yelp as he felt his body push itself up until the blonde found himself doing what felt like a handstand. And that’s when it dawned on Tommy. His arms were now a pair of muscular and powerful legs, ending with large manly feet. He tried to crane his neck to look up but barely could.

“Ha-ha broooo.” The voice called out, “Fuckin’ look at me.” It said in its deep baritone voice. The same stupid voice that Tommy associated with frat bros.

“St-stop...pl-please.” Tommy called out, his own voice becoming softer. He noticed he was having a harder time moving his mouth to form words.

But he was ignored and suddenly found himself swinging from side to side as his body began to move on its own. He could do nothing as he continued to feel himself change further. First, he felt as though he was no longer able to move his neck and he watched as he blond locks fell from his head. And then for a split second, the world went dark before his field of vision returned, albeit somewhat limited. The same with his hearing. The muscular legs on either side of him became coated in hairs. As he tried to call out again, Tommy felt what he initially thought was phlegm rise from the back of his throat. The liquid was salty and seemed to dribble from his mouth, causing him to want to gag, but he found himself unable to. None of this made sense, and he was trying to get a better glimpse of himself. All he could make out was what looked like a hairy muscular abdomen above him, and two thick hairy thighs on either side of him. Questions filled his mind as he tried to understand his situation. But before he could think more on it, he heard a dumb chuckle and suddenly, Tommy felt as though his face was being stretched- another aching sensation coursing through his head and neck.  

“Ya know you’ve neglected me for a long time.” The booming voice said. Tommy wanted to yelp as he felt a hand wrap around him, “But I’m not gonna do that to you bro.” Tommy barely had any idea what the voice was saying, “Huh, that’s right. This might be a bit confusing for ya brah. Here have a look.”

If Tommy could, he would’ve screamed. In the mirror was one of the largest, hairiest men that he had ever seen. The guy looked like he played football, the pinnacle of masculinity with a stupid dopey grin on his chiseled face. But that was less shocking compared to what Tommy soon came to realize. The man was holding his fat, enlarged member, which is when Tommy was able to put it all together.

“That’s right bro, you ignored me for so long, I just had to take control.” The jock laughed, “And well that means we had to switch places.”

Tommy felt a sense of dread well up from deep within him. This couldn’t be happening- he was a human! Not a cock. This wasn’t possible. As his mind bounced around trying to rationalize his way through this, the jock smiled.

“Well aren’t you eager.” He chuckled in his dim voice, scratching at his hairy pec, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”

And that’s when Tommy felt it. The hand around his cylindrical body began to pump up and down, faster and faster. His thoughts became harder to focus on as pleasure coursed throughout his body- the calloused hand that played with him igniting wave after wave of pleasure. He felt himself twitch, his hard cylindrical body throbbing in anticipation. The jock smirked and quickened his pace.

“Yeah, you like that, huh? Think you could just ignore me?” He moaned out, his pace quickening, “Never again bro. Turned you into my needy cock. Showing you what a real man looks like.” Tommy could barely register any of the words, the liquid in the back of his throat rising faster and faster, “Fuck dude!” The jock moaned out as he finally came, sending wave after wave of cum from Tommy’s new mouth.

Tommy could barely process the level of pleasure that rocketed through his new body. His mind was nearly shattered as his cylindrical body softened and dangled limply between the jock’s legs. But as Tommy was winding down from the pleasure, he felt something cover his entire body, throwing his world into darkness. The jock smirked and posed in the mirror, showing off his bulge and ass, which were covered in black compression underwear. There was another dumb chuckle, and Tommy twitched in pleasure as the jock grabbed him through his underwear.

“Welcome to your new home, bro.” The jock chuckled, “Now let’s go find that boyfriend of yours. If I had to guess, that ass of his was also feeling pretty neglected. Someone ought to help him out, don’t you think?” And Tommy felt his new body quickly expanding, pressed up tightly against the confines of the new jock’s underwear.

[khruschevshoe]

Doctor who is literally just a story about grief. About the stages beyond the normal five. About hope and reaching and living hard and fast and passionately bc we're all going to die. About outlasting those you love most and being forced to keep on living. About celebrating the dead and the dying bc they were once alive and will forever be alive in your memories. About learning how to move on despite knowing some part of you never will. About running as fast as you can while clinging to the small bits of love and happiness you can scrape for yourself along the way. About outliving and outlasting everyone and everything you've ever put you faith in until all you have left is the faith itself. About always being dead and alive at once, carrying everyone you've ever lost and every version of yourself you've ever been on your shoulders bc you are too kind and too selfish and too full of grief to do anything else.

Doctor who is about grief. It is about life and death and hope and fear and ecstasy and bravery and melancholy and the constant balance between optimism and weight that living brings.

Doctor who is about grief. It is about how life is only precious bc everything has its time, and everything ends.

And god, isn't that fantastic?

@friendlyneighborhoodamara @neat-crows @lindensea

[toffee4you]

Sleepover Headcanons—--

First Years

Content: Prefect!reader, platonic, everyone's rowdy, Sebek's getting clowned on

Other parts: second years, third years

How would the twst boys behave during a sleepover at Ramshackle?

Ace

He's the first friend who comes over (along with Deuce) and only brings his own possessions to the sleepover. That bag of chips he bought? Yeah, they're for himself. Maybe he'll be willing to share if you make a fool out of yourself, though.

Maybe the only sharable item he brought is his deck of cards, but you were quick to ban that due to his habit of cheating.

Ace isn't that much of a handful when it's just Deuce and Grim. They have their usual petty fights, but you're able to meditate it. The real problem starts when more people begin to join; he's definitely beefing with your other friends, namely Sebek. Have fun trying to ensure nothing gets broken!

He's one of the last people to fall asleep out of the first years... And the first to pull pranks on the sleeping ones. First it's Jack, then it's Deuce. He really motivates you to not fall asleep in all the wrong ways.

Deuce

He comes with Ace but ACTUALLY brings snacks and drinks for everyone.

You don't have to worry much about Deuce fighting with others, the only issue is when Ace provokes him into arguing. You'll have to break it up before things spiral into a fistfight.

He falls asleep pretty late, but not late enough to outlast professionals like Ace... Or just exceptions like Ortho. He becomes the victim of getting his face drawn on.

Epel

This is being kept a secret from Vil for... Reasons. You're pretty sure he'll get dragged back to Pomefiore if his housewarden finds out, even if it's a weekend. After all, sleepovers typically mean staying up late.

He mostly brought apples and apple products due to the mass amount of it that he has, but rest assured he brought a game or two as well.

This one right here is the initiator of the pillow fight. He ends up smacking Ace in the face while shouting at him with a thick accent to the point where everyone's just confused, then everything goes in a downwards spiral from there. At least it was fun.... But the only terrifying part was dodging Jack and Sebek. you really wouldn't want to get hit by them, even if it's just with pillows.

Jack

He was just honestly doing his best when he brought protein bars and movie disks. At least the bars are chocolate, so despite how dense they are, nobody minds too much. No one wants to mention his choice of movie genres until Ace does and gets into another small fight.

He's fun to be around since he doesn't rage after games like most of the others (sometimes Deuce is fine). The only issue is that things will get noisy when he catches anyone cheating, so you'll have to oversee the games.

He tries to stay up like everyone else, but since he's so used to his regular sleep schedule, he falls asleep first. He's the victim of having makeup all over his face and getting all prettied up in ribbons and braids. Admittedly, you joined in with braiding his hair and tail.

Sebek

This guy pulls up with his Malleus plushie and immediately becomes the target of jokes within the first 15 minutes of the sleepover. He actually does bring a few refreshments though, which is surprising. You suspect it might have been under the directions of Lilia.

He seems really on edge the entire time since he's not guarding Malleus, but once he gets into the mood of the sleepover, his mind won't be as occupied on it. Plus, Malleus and Lilia ordered him to attend for his own good. He needs peers to hang out with.

#1 game rager, and Ace/Grim are having a field day out of it. He's not good at online games at all, so his only wins are either playing against Jack or playing tabletop games instead.

Watching him chomp down all the snacks starts to make you concerned that maybe there isn't enough at all. Fortunately, an unknown hero (...Ace...) replaced his drink with dark coffee to hold back his appetite. Sebek will try to pretend he can drink it at first before he has to give up, and that's when round 2 of the jokes begin.

Falls asleep around the same time as Deuce, and immediately, everyone wants to test out if his singular lightning-shaped hair strand can actually charge up devices... And Ortho. It's a rumor that was going on for a while.

Ortho

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Grim get HYPED when he comes because they just know he has all the good games with him. The video games.

He did research on what kind of snacks to bring, plus Idia actually gave him the advice and budget for it so his little brother would look cool in front of everyone!

Naturally, he crushes everyone in online games, but he did try to slightly nerf himself after some of the others game raged.

Surprising good at pillow fights too. He's speedy and able to dodge by flying, plus his power output can be stronger than what it looks like. In fact, he nearly knocked Deuce out cold with a pillow and had to apologize later.

Ortho charged earlier in the day so there's no issues with staying up all night. No one exactly suspects him of being mischievous because they're all focused on Ace, but in reality, he's the ONLY person who gets to have the last laugh at everyone when they fall vulnerable to face-drawing and pranks in their sleep.

Grim

Your little furry friend. He didn't really help you prepare much for the sleepover and kept trying to get into the snacks beforehand, but he's super excited for it.

He talks big everytime he starts a game and rages when he loses, requesting to play something else or to do “another round” until he wins. There is no in-between.

He accidentally sparks jealousy in Sebek when casually mentioning how often “Tsunotarou” hangs out with the both of you, thus causing another fight. It's easier to break up a fight with Grim since you can just grab him and swaddle him. Kitty burrito.

Makes for an amazing pillow or heater when he falls asleep. The only difference between during a sleepover and during usual naps with him is that your other friends get to experience the fluff as well. Note that this does not stop the pranks from happening.

Special: Ouija Board

Epel is the one who brought along an Ouija board, and Ace pushes everyone else to play it by questioning their bravery.

Already, the two people who are fearing this board the most are Sebek, Grim, and Deuce—they won't admit it, though. Each and every one of them is pretending like this game is child's play.

Jack is probably calling this stupid but plays anyways because he won't stand for being called a chicken.

It starts with a simple question of “Are you there?” and ends with panic as the planchette moves to “Yes.”

It seems like everyone forgot there were actual ghosts at Ramshackle, but it was funny nonetheless seeing everyone panic; especially Grim. You would've liked to think that he'd be used to it by now.

When weird rumors about Ramshackle start circulating the school again, you'll know exactly why now. Even Malleus asks about it during his next visit. You might've spotted Rook lurking around the dorm a few times too.

[theorphicangel]

“𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.”

[ 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐨’𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ]

tags: strangers to lovers, roommate au!, best friend’s brother, fluff, mutual pining, smut, 18+

synopsis: In a desperate search of a new roommate, you have little to no choice but to accept your best friend's / best barista in the world's offer of letting his older brother rent out the room, who just so happens to be conventionally attractive.

You swear nothing will happen between the two of you but one thing eventually leads to another and you find yourself in his bed, leading to an unofficial roommates with benefits situation.

You know deep down it's wrong and you're worried when you start catching feelings...but it's okay because it's only temporary, right?

Series. next chapter

chapter one: a partridge in a pear tree (that doesn’t know how to fly.)

“So…is this everything?”

“Seems like it.” your roommate nods along— well now to be your ex-roommate .

The keys are already placed on the counter as well as the payment of last month’s rent. It’s a shame that the contract had to be cut short immediately, which was ultimately due to her boyfriend’s eagerness to spend their very first Christmas living together.

You are happy for her. Intensely so. You’ve seen the two of them together and they just seem to make butter melt. It all happened so fast, one date, then two, then seven and suddenly they’re speeding ahead to get moved in.

But nevertheless, you’re happy for the two of them. It’s nearly the holidays, basically the perfect excuse to get as romantic as you want.

You let out a sweet smile at MJ, helping her in carrying bags down to her car. As you made your trips up and down the apartment block you couldn’t help but think about the fact that she was already your third roommate this year, only managing to outlast your previous roommates by two months.

And it’d seemed like you guys had just begun to develop a close bond, until she broke the news that she was moving out at the beginning of December.

Which meant that you were spending Christmas alone… again and already your landlord is pushing for you to keep an eye out for any possible tenant around; silently hoping that you can find a replacement before the end of the year.

It’s another burden put on your shoulders. A burden that should be the job of the landlord, not you.

Just when you had thought that you were getting to the end of the year stress-free, now you’re dealing with the exhausting task of finding another roommate or else you’ll be paying double for the rent.

And if the best case scenario works out for you, then you’d have to go through the awkward roommate phase for the nth time: the awkward first meetings, the uncomfortable shuffles around each other, trying to navigate between each other’s own personal space and privacy. I mean, it took you and MJ a few months before you guys had grown accustomed to each other. She was really beginning to feel like more than a roommate, becoming one of your closest friends.

As you both start bringing down the last of her things, the signals to give your last goodbyes draw near. It’s more sentimental than you thought it would be. The two of you find yourselves in a latching hug, squeezing each other tightly.

“God– I know I haven’t known you for long but I’ll miss our little talks in the kitchen all night.” MJ hums, her head leaning on your shoulder.

You agree along with her, “Me too. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with another roommate.”

“You can always come and visit me and Peter y’know, we only live a few minutes away from downtown.”

You pull away from each other, meeting each other’s eyes. The cold breeze of the December air in New York whips over the two of you, cheeks frozen in frostbite.

“I know, I know, I’ll see if I can make it down for Christmas.”

“You better swear to that.” And it’s at her words that you outstretch your hand, pinky finger in the air. MJ’s own finger meets your own, sealing the promise for definite.

“I promise.”

“Good.” She smiles and you both indulge in one last hug before you wave her off to the car. She wishes you luck on finding a new roommate and you reciprocate the wish on her and Peter’s future together.

Making your way back up to your empty apartment, reality now kicks in. Standing in the doorway at what used to be MJ’s bedroom, the emptiness and plainness of the room reminds you once more that you are alone again.

You wonder how long it’ll take to find a roommate. Not long you hope since New York’s housing crisis isn’t getting any better but you hope to find a somewhat decent human being. Anxiety blooms at your stomach at the thought of them being anything like your first ever roommate – someone who didn’t know how to clean up after themselves, leaving you to become their own personal maid.

The thought remains with you for the rest of the morning, your routine feeling a little more woeful than usual. Your anxiety and overthinking followed you around like a little stray puppy, claiming you to be its rightful owner. It followed you through the bustling streets of New York as you interweaved between busy people all trying to make it to their own nine to fives.

Even when you stepped into O’hara’s , the puppy continued to follow you. O’hara’s was a little Mexican cafe/bakery that you had discovered in your second year of university. As soon as you had stepped into building the warm scent of hot cocoa and pastries filled up your nostrils.

The cafe was already heavily decorated for christmas: printouts of stars and snowflakes cello taped to the windows, lights strewn across the walls of the cafe and a slouching Christmas tree in the right back corner of the cafe, the golden glittering star limping slightly to one sight.

You join the small queue waiting patiently for your turn. You’re met with a smile by the barista, the same one who meets your face every morning.

“¡Buenos días!, Your regular?”

“Good morning, and yes please.” you reply as you tap your card for payment.

“Take a seat, bonita , I’ll come right over.”

The barista’s words add a smile to your face, slightly easing the anxious ache that you had from this morning. You take your favorite seat, the stool in the corner by the window so you can eagerly watch people as you’re taking your morning coffee.

As always it’s not long before the barista comes over with your order, eager to rush over to you.

“Thanks Gabi .” you say as he places down the hot cup of coffee. Two sugars and a drop of milk. Always to your perfection.

“No problem.” He replies, leaning his arm on the empty stool next to yours. Gabriel watches you take the first sip, as he always does when giving you your coffee. You take a small sip, careful not to burn your tongue. The hot liquid quickly travels down your throat, awakening your body as you do so with its bitter yet slightly sweet taste.

“Perfect as always, Gabi, you’re a natural.”

He waves his hand, in mock embarrassment. “Oh stop it, you’re making me blush.” You repeat the compliment to him everyday without fail and he knows that you would never say anything less, not even on his worst days.

“Now for the tip.” He speaks, a smirk drawing on his lips. “Fifty or hundred today?”

“Don’t be an ass, Gabi.” you mutter, reaching for your purse. You hand him a twenty dollar bill.

“Ooooo, looks like she’s being nice today.”

“When am I not ever being nice?”

“Okay, you remember that one time when that lady pushed–?”

“Zip it.” you quip, not wanting to hear the rest of that sentence.

“Okay…..” he rolls his eyes, knowing fully well how he could have proved you wrong. “So are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or will I have to blackmail you with my mama’s tres leches for you to tell me?”

“The latter.” you pipe up quickly, taking another sip of the coffee. You weren’t even surprised that he tell that something was wrong, he had known you long enough to know your habits.

“You mujer interesada, of course you would. Why did I even bother asking?” [self-interested/greedy woman]

You let out an exhale before confessing your thoughts, the anxiety building up in your stomach becoming too discomforting that you just had to tell him. “My roommate moved out this morning. Again.”

“Another one? But you guys got on so well!” Gabriel exclaimed, his mouth slightly open in shock.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s moving in with her boyfriend. They want to spend their first Christmas together after being in a long distance relationship for so long and I’m happy for them I guess but…” You trail off, looking down into your coffee cup.

“You feel lonely as fuck now?”

You nod your head wordlessly. As always Gabriel was always quick in being able to read your mind. “You don’t need a spare room do you?” you ask suddenly, your eyes eagerly brighten at the thought.

“No, I'm sorry. I’m still living with my mom at the moment.” Gabriel flicks his head over to the counter where his mother was, working in the kitchen making more traditional Mexican cuisine. “I’m saving up to get a place of my own one day.”

You nod along again, humming in response to Gabriel’s plan before glancing out of the window.

A comfortable silence came between the two of you as you both observed the streets of New York. O’hara’s was set in a quiet corner of downtown with few passersby and traffic. One of the many reasons why you loved to come here was for the peace and quiet of the cafe– not many would be able to find that in New York. But also, you liked to take advantage of the free wifi.

“Y’know what?” Gabriel speaks after a few minutes of silence.

“What?” You hum.

“I think I know someone who might need a place.”

“Really?” Your intonation rises higher, surprise evident in your voice. You shake your head, stopping your body from celebrating just yet. It looks like you can’t abandon that puppy yet without some sort of confirmation. “Wait, Gabi, you can’t be shitting me okay? Be serious.”

“Hey, I’m always serious!” He retorts and you deadpan him as your response. “Trust me.” He says. “ I’ll get you someone by the end of the week, if I can convince—”

“Oh my god, you're the best barista ever!” You say aloud, indulging him with a hug before he could finish his sentence.

“And don’t you tell me that everyday.”

/

The next morning, you feel a little lighter as you walk the streets of New York. For the rest of yesterday, you were unconsciously avoiding your return back to your empty apartment, upset by the knowledge that there was no one at home waiting for you. Yet, waking up this morning and instantly remembering Gabriel’s words had indefinitely removed the sea of anxiety from your body.

You’re a little more excited than usual to head to O’hara’s, hoping to hear back from Gabi about your potential roommate. You step through the doors of the cafe, the usual smell of coffee, pastries and desserts hitting you like always. The queue is a little longer than usual today, but you estimate that down to more people wanting hot drinks to subside with the colder weather in New York lately.

It takes a while to get to your turn but you’re patient. A cheesy smile is on your lips as you step to meet your usual—

“Uh– what would you like?”

Your face freezes at the sound of a gruff voice addressing you instead of your usual cheery ‘¡buenos dias!’ missing from your usual routine. You hesitate a little in making your order, finding it unusual that Gabriel’s not in for work today. You knew that they were running low on staff recently but…Gabriel rarely takes a day off.

Unless he’s hungover.

Instead, his replacement stands as a tall, tanned and muscular man. Older , you assume or perhaps that’s just the notion that you get from the dark under eye-bags that he has. You practically have to crane your neck just to make eye contact.

He looks familiar but you just can’t recognise where you know him from. The features of his face, dark hair, eyes, and nose screams at you to be recognised. But you just can’t put your finger on it for some reason.

“Do I know you?” you speak up, your curiosity violently plaguing your mind.

“Huh?” The man looks down at you, currently struggling to tap in your order on the till.

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“Oh, okay.” he says, looking down and attempting to tap in your order again.

You stand around, patiently waiting for your order and as you glance around the cafe you find that your favorite spot is taken. Immediately, your shoulders drop. You take it as a sign that today will be a bad day. Not correlated at all, but it does dampen your mood.

It takes more than ten minutes before you get your order, the muscular figure works slowly as if he’s just figuring out how to work all the machines. A newbie you guess.

Finally , your order is ready and instead you settle with taking a seat in a comfy lounge chair. It’s disheartening not having your regular conversation with Gabi today but you’ll cope instead making a mental list of all the errands and work that you need to run through today.

Pulling out your phone, you go to his contact to text Gabriel.

You (8:23am)

Let me guess…you’re hungover? Anyways, I hope you feel better soon <333 Lmk if you need anything…and if you get any updates on the roommate situation. :)

You hit send and slide the phone back into your pocket. You’re not expecting a response anytime soon from him. Picking up your cup, you take a quick sip of your coffee before immediately pulling a disgusted face. Too much sugar.

You’re in the right mind to go back up to the counter and order a new one but by the look on the new barista’s face, which you could tell was filled with stress and internal panic, you think it’s best not to run him ragged even more.

For his sake you decide to keep quiet. For now.

reblogs are much appreciated!

lmk if you would like to be tagged

[argisthebulwark]

Cleanse Me With Pleasure

summary: second chance! you've known them and lost them, but fate brings you back together. gn reader, no pronouns or y/n used feat: Miraak, Hadvar, Vilkas warnings: very mild body horror (miraak has too many pupils), depiction of overstimulation (vilkas)

Miraak

He was your first love, the one meant to outlast all else. He became the one who shattered your heart. Your shared power as Dovahkiin should have brought you closer - your fates as the First and Last intrinsically twined together, though Miraak seemed intent on severing it. His refusal to share power turned to distrust, a fracture your relationship never recovered from.

He became obsessed. Blinded by his need to rule over Tamriel, you found yourself growing apart until you could hold onto him no longer. Miraak forgot all else when he became lost to his hunt for power, casting aside love and humanity as he lusted after forbidden knowledge. He forgot about you, his fellow Dragonborn. His beloved.

As the ages have passed, you now find yourself unfulfilled. You’ve seen much of the world in your time, taken fleeting lovers and leaving few traces. The dragon blood in your veins keeps you stationary while the world shifts around you, able to inflict little change upon the matters of men. Civilizations develop and empires crumble before your eyes as you search for the place you belong. No matter how much you love this world you still seek the place that feels like home.

After many years spent unsuccessfully settling into a small village you decide to leave Skyrim. At least for a short while. Too many eyes are on you after your influential part in the civil war. You need somewhere quiet. Hoping for the comfort of an old friend or a Telvanni tower your eyes turn to Solstheim. It’s been far too long since you’ve walked its shores, perhaps clarity awaits there.

Your wish for peace is unfulfilled as always. Rumors of locals wandering off into the ashen wastes reach your ears in every tavern. Just one night, you promise yourself when you fall into a cheap rented bed. Just one night of rest and I will investigate in the morning. 

A voice you’d forgotten ages ago invades your dreams. His mantra shocks you to your core - he was behind those horrid stones? Scrambling for your pack you set off into the night fueled by anger, old and long forgotten. You don’t care how powerful he’s become in your time apart - it matters little if he’s finally ascended to godhood, you’re going to give him an earful. 

Sharp spikes and dark towers loom over the horizon - his palace. The elegant arches are beginning to crumble with no sign of repair. Perhaps all of his loyal subjects are too busy tending to those awful stones, minds stolen away by Mora’s influence. Stomping through his castle you’re horrified by the years of dust and grime accumulating on every surface. Much like yourself, it seems that this palace has spent ages stuck in a time the world has forgotten. 

Upon a spiraling staircase, the railing is surprisingly clean. Tracks of fingers trail through the dust and a shiver runs down your spine. Weak light flickers from above and you steady yourself for whoever lurks in this ancient place. It may be a sign of life but you cannot decipher whether that is a good thing.  

You should have known. The only visible light emanates from the heart of Miraak’s palace - his library. Tomes written in dead languages give way to the common tongue, each shelf meticulously cleaned. Your footsteps are careful, though you can do little to calm the erratic racing of your heart as you wind through his maze. 

A dark cloak is draped over hunched shoulders. His quill scrapes over the parchment without pause. Blazing light from the fireplace illuminates his silhouette and for a moment it’s far too easy to forget about how everything ended - the fighting, the screaming, and that uncrossable distance that grew between you. When Miraak’s head tilts you catch sight of stubble across his jaw, the once black hair now peppered with gray and white. There is the sharp angle of his nose and lips that had once spilled nothing but admissions of love. For one moment he is the man your heart still screams for. 

“You must be brave if you dare to enter.” His deep voice rumbles through the library and you’re shocked back to reality. Deep green eyes sweep toward you, pinning you in place as too many pupils assess your interruption. “Remove your hood and state your business.” 

“What have you done?” Miraak’s fingers clutch the edge of his desk, revealing sickly black veins creeping under pale skin. His eyes narrow and in a dramatic flourish he stalks toward you. Old rage builds with each step that draws him closer; that sneer on his face, the condescension in his tone, the terrible way that power has warped him. 

“How dare you speak to me like this?” He seethes, teeth practically bared when he glares you down. Standing only inches away you can feel it, the terribly oily power infecting the rest of Solstheim. It is like nothing you can recall dealing with. Attempting to move swiftly you remove your hood, brandishing a reliable dagger between your bodies to hold him off. 

Something you cannot read shifts in his eyes. He blinks too many times before one hand reaches past your weapon. You consider slicing into his arm, calculating how likely it is that Miraak could cast some horrible spell upon you when cool skin cups your cheek. 

“Darling.” Your heart squeezes when Miraak draws you closer, completely ignoring the blade pressed to his chest. “My love, where have you been?” 

“I left.” Your voice is harsh, cutting through the strange softness of his tone. You cling to the rage that fueled you to find him, grasping for something to keep you upright when his thumbs trace so lovingly across your cheeks. 

“I have searched this world for you.” 

“What?” You sputter, taking a step back. Your heart slams into your ribs when he looks at you, such adoration in eyes you have not seen in centuries. “You let me go. You forgot me.” 

“I was wrong.” Bravely, he attempts to move closer. “I cannot do this without you - I do not work without you, my love.” 

“I do not wish to rule.” Your voice quivers and you steady the dagger. Miraak makes no move away from you, still carefully holding your face. “I have never wished to rule.”

“Tell me what you want.” 

“I have told you.” You insist, obnoxious tears pricking at your eyes. It’s terribly hard to remain angry when he’s so close. “You never listen.”

“Tell me once more.” Miraak gulps, unnatural eyes never moving from yours. “Please, just once more.” 

“I want,” your voice falters as you consider your options. Rationally, you should drive the dagger into his chest and free the world from his influence. You should kill Miraak while he is distracted. You should end him before he does further damage to this world. 

But you cannot. Sweaty fingers clench around the blade but your muscles have turned to stone. He may be different, hell he may be awful, but you cannot bring yourself to kill him. He is still Miraak. Your blade stills over his heart, the only one that has called out to yours. Despite the inky black stains these are his hands, the ones you’ve imagined each time you’ve taken a lover. 

“I want you.” Fat tears coat your cheeks when you relent, speaking the words that have been a thorn in your side for too many years. Old desires wash away the anger, each night spent missing him fresh and new in your memory. You remember speaking the same words during your last argument with him, one final plea for him. “I want to find somewhere quiet and grow old with you.” 

“I am sorry that it has taken me so many years to agree. I am yours, entirely, if you will have me.” Miraak’s nose brushes yours and through your bleary vision, you see him. His vision is no longer clouded with obsession, eyes focused entirely on you. Something wrenches deep in your chest and time seems to grind to a halt. 

It is all you’ve ever wanted from him. There is fear in Miraak’s eyes while he awaits your response though he makes no offensive moves - he’s left himself open if you decide to strike. There is no defense, no shield to hold you off. Miraak has made himself vulnerable to you. 

Joy and grief and all other emotions swirl together as your blade clatters to the ground. Desperate hands dig into the back of your cloak and you feel his sigh of relief against your chest, unheard promises whispered into your skin. 

Hadvar

Training. Guard rotations. Research assignments. Reconnaissance. Palace guard duty. Shift changes. Too many responsibilities and not enough time, yet for so long you managed to cling together. There was never time for anything more than falling into bed together, a shared cot and the comfort of one another. 

Schedules shifted every few weeks, never amounting to much more than a change in when you're afforded time to sleep. Without bothering to open the envelope for your new assignment you’d hobbled back toward the barracks, muscles aching from a day stuck near the city gate.

A sharp bark of your name stopped you short. A harsh explanation that you were heading off to some newly established camp in the Rift. No time to change or grab your supplies, they’ll have clothes waiting for you at the new camp. Your heart was in your throat when your commanding officer bundled you into the back of some carriage and sent you to another Hold without a chance to tell Hadvar. 

In the shuffle of everything, you lost each other. No letters could be sent as you had no idea where he’d been stationed or who his superior became after the new assignments. Though your nights were lonely, over time you accepted that he’d simply slipped through your fingers. 

Leaving the army was a difficult but necessary choice. That strange power seemed to grow with each day that passed yet you had no clue what it was. Something terrifying was happening inside you and you snuck away from your camp, deserting in search of answers. 

Your many attempts to diagnose whatever lay inside you remained unanswered. It felt like some sort of serpent, often dormant and rarely flickering into life. Presently, you find yourself glaring into the horizon and regretting that shitty mug of ale. Falkreath has yielded no answers and although you’ve tried to avoid Skyrim, the College of Winterhold may be your last resort. 

It all happens so fast. The clanging of armor and harsh shouts ringing through the forest. Dozens of blades are pointed in your direction and before you can think your hands are cuffed, pack ripped from your back and you’re shoved into a cart of fellow prisoners. 

The ride is quite short but one man insists on chatting, drawing the attention of the soldiers. Imperial soldiers. Your stomach turns sour as you rush to come up with a story - it’s been years since you deserted, no one will recognize you. You can claim to be a hunter. The forest has enough elk to make the weapons in your pack plausible. 

Staring straight down at the tips of your boots, you avoid acknowledging what is happening only a few yards away. The pleading words, the blade cutting through the air, the sickening thump. You shuffle through the line of prisoners intending to recite your half baked story, steadying yourself when you finally look up. 

“And who are,” Hadvar pauses, still staring down at his parchment. Your heart stops when he finally looks up, face bright red as recognition lights his expression. “You?”

You’re fucked. 

“I’m a hunter.” You lie as another guard ushers you toward the block. “I was looking for elk. Just a trader.” 

“Yeah.” The guard snorts, guiding you to kneel. “I’ve heard that one before.” 

There is nothing more to say, no words that will change their minds. Dew coats your knees and you can feel Hadvar staring at you, blue eyes sharp and mouth still parted with questions. You try to take comfort in the clear skies and calm breeze. If you are destined to die today, there is something nice about knowing that the last thing you see will be Hadvar. 

“Dragon!”

Your world is a blur of fire and smoke. The executioner’s blade thumps to the ground, mere seconds from taking your head. Rough hands drag you to your feet and you stumble along, unsure if you’re alive. On all sides Helgen is burning, shrieks of the dragon blend with screams of humans into one horrible sound that drowns all else out. 

Time slows to a crawl when Hadvar wheels toward you, soot staining his features as steady hands check you for injuries. For one brief moment the world is quiet, Helgen’s Keep miraculously still upright. 

“Are you alright?” All you can manage is a nod. Hadvar passes you a sword and plants his helmet on your head, instructing you to stay close. Falling into line with him is too easy - ducking when you feel his muscles flex to swing his sword, backs pressed together as you cut through Stormcloaks and spiders. 

The road is quiet, its usual sense of peace only heightening your nerves. Acrid smoke clings to your nostrils and burns sting at your skin but you continue walking, unsure of the destination. Hadvar’s steps are sure through the small village, explaining the situation with only a hint of the panic still lacing your veins. You anticipate questions he does not ask, explanations cluttering your mind but he doesn't breathe a word of your desertion.

His family is wary but welcoming. They don’t ask questions when you refuse to part, sides glued together as you recount your stories. You feel their curious eyes as Hadvar leads you downstairs to where you’ll be staying. He doesn’t pause before unbuckling his armor and falling into the sole bed, one arm open in silent invitation.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” Hadvar murmurs, allowing you to curl into his chest. You can hear the racing of his heart as one arm rests around you, perfectly aligning with all those memories. He’s warm and still smells like fire but you block it out, focusing on nothing more than Hadvar’s hands combing through the mess of your hair. “I’ve lost you so many times, I don’t know if I can let you go again.” 

Vilkas

Although Whiterun would always be your home, somewhere deep down you’d long harbored a distaste for how crowded it was. Too many sounds and smells, elbows jostling you and siblings to keep track of. Food sizzling and water gurgling from the nearby fountain, it all turned into one overwhelming wave of sensations. High walls kept out the breeze and often you found your skin felt too tight, ears ringing as you ran off toward one of the abandoned watch towers. 

From far below you heard the delighted shrieks of your younger siblings as they frolicked through the market. Your head pounded although the breeze cooled your overheated skin, lessening the sensory terror of the crowd. 

“Mind if I sit?” Your eyes shot open and you saw a boy no older than yourself standing on the final step to your hideout. “My brother’s down there but it’s - well, it’s too loud.” 

“Sure.” You agreed, scrunching your legs closer to make room. He didn’t say a word, merely plopped down and began reading the book he’d tucked under his arm. His presence was nice, silent and uncaring as you unwound. A breeze whistled through old shudders carrying a welcome chill. 

“I should get back to my brother, he’ll start to worry.” He carefully placed a bookmark before standing. “My name is Vilkas.” He only introduced himself upon parting.

Your friendship was easy. Afternoons spent in comfortable silence, tidbits of information swapped once your ears stopped ringing. Vilkas’s way of speaking was refreshing; his tone was always even and getting right to the point. You never had to puzzle through the hidden meaning of what he said not did he push past your limits.

There was no way to know one meeting would be the last. Vilkas was recalled to Jorrvaskr and sent on some mission by his superiors and your mother was being shipped off to Solitude to serve the Jarl. Between packing up your entire life in a few chests and wrangling all of your siblings there was simply no time to find Vilkas, you never got a chance to say goodbye. 

Now, the title of Dragonborn grows hefty. You’ve carried it for years but it never seems to get easier - there are constantly people asking for favors or wanting to hear stories you’ve told dozens of times. Although many years have passed you often find yourself wanting to regress to that child that hid away in abandoned guard towers, wishing you could simply curl up in some corner and let the world forget you for a while.

Too many eyes are always on you, watching your every move and telling tales of your heroism. Taverns herald your arrival, merchants offer special deals for your presence, fighters either want to duel or be in your employ. It seems that quiet is simply not in the cards for you. 

Trekking across the plains, the buzz of conversation finally ceases. Most civilians aren’t motivated enough to follow you out of their walled city. You walk until your legs are numb and collapse, back pressed to Whiterun’s massive wall as you stare out across the heavens. There's no telling how much time passes - elk skip over the hillsides and shadows grow longer yet you remain, unsure if you are ready to face the bustling city once more.

“You alright?” 

There's no hiding your groan at the interruption. A gruff voice breaks through the quiet of nature, ruining the ruffling of wind through tall grass. Biting back whatever truth threatens to spill from your tongue you turn to the offender, intending to ask for a bit of time alone when you pause. 

His brown eyes have hardened, now lined with the telltale signs of many sleepless nights. Dark hair has grown out over the years and stubble lines a strong jaw, hands that once carefully balanced books now perched precariously on the hilt of his greatsword. Relief washes away all the annoyance as he silently eases to sit at your side, eyes cast out over the plains. 

“You look different.” You dare to observe, a nervous smile breaking out at his snort of laughter. 

“You’ve been gone for quite a while.” 

Everything is so easy with him. Conversation comes and goes in waves, hours spent catching each other up on your lives lapsing into a comfortable silence. As the sun dips below the horizon and Whiterun’s plains are ablaze in deep shades of orange and pink the tightness in your chest lessens, noise from of the city quieting as its inhabitants seek shelter in homes and taverns. You remain there with Vilkas for far too long, both relieved to reconnect with the one person who understands their need for quiet. 

[anjeriouskharne]

Hello. I'd say good morning, but this morning isnt good. We lost. Im well aware there are already 4 billion messages like this one, but I will add mine to the pile. Survive. I am very very new to transitioning, and this wall of red legislation horrifies me, as Im sure it does you, but we all need to hold fast. We are human, if anything, we are greater than human for all the magic we perform to alter ourselves with such small doses of this and that. We are notorious for having some major, hidden skill. I dont wanna hear you say you dont. Ive seen us be incredible with cars, photography, computers, electronics, things old and new. You have a magic skill that just clicks, you may even do it daily and not even realize it. So hold on. Keep going. Our bodies were built to move one step at a time, and thats how we take life too. We will mark these 4 years down as a step in the wrong direction, and we will step back after that. We will persevere, endure, and outlast these people. We are loved by those close to us. Lean on them for a while. We are loved by each other, lean on us for a while. Lean when you cannot stand, and support when you have strength to give. This fight does not end today, it does not end tomorrow, it does not end until we have our freedom and it cannot be stripped from us again. Do you hear me, young trans girl in their room, sobbing while looking at her skirt, thinking of throwing it away? Dont! Save it, where it when its safe. Do you hear me, young trans man, who was about to cut your hair? Dont give up that idea, find a way, an excuse, a lie to let you do that, or if all else fails, preserve that dream until its safe.

Please, dont fall into the darkness. Its not just what they want, its not worth it to leave everything behind for eternity over a temporary hell. I love all of you, and I will cry for each and every one of us that dies because this is all too much. I will cry for every one of us that dies in whatever comes next.

We will survive, as we always have. All we need is each other. My heart goes out to you all!

[zodiactalks]

Top 4 PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE Zodiac Signs

Everyone has their own way of expressing their frustration. There are far too many who are roundabout in their displeasure.

There is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior. It leaves the person confused and hurt. 

Ironically, passive-aggression comes from a desire not to hurt the person with whom they are upset. The fear of an aggressive, angry confrontation is less appealing than making snide remarks.

Let’s take a look at the top four passive-aggressive zodiac signs.

#1. Cancer

Cancer is the first most passive-aggressive zodiac sign.

Despite how blunt Cancer can be, they prefer to be as passive-aggressive as humanly possible until the other person snaps. It can turn into a game of who will break first. And Cancer never loses.

Cancer’s target will just feel the anger radiating off of them. Negative energy can cling to Cancer like an unrelenting cloud. Anyone around when they are in this mood will take notice. 

Whenever asked what’s wrong, Cancer will smile, and say, “Nothing!” 

No one believes it for a second.

Cancer knows that if they outlast the other person and rile them by being passive-aggressive, it will make the other person look bad when they snap. 

Despite how wonderful a happy, healthy Cancer can be, the opposite is a dangerous foe. They know how to manipulate situations to make others look mean.

Be careful if you become the target of Cancer’s anger. Best to suck up to them instead of trying to dig up the real problem. Or they may bury you in that hole. 

#2. Pisces

Pisces is the second most passive-aggressive of the zodiac signs.

Pisces is stereotyped as being dreamy, flighty, and innocent. Naturally, it makes them masters at being passive-aggressive. 

Pisces don’t enjoy confrontation. They like to believe everyone has the same moral compass as them and therefore knows when they’ve hurt someone. 

Pisces is sorely mistaken and quickly becomes bitter when someone proves their preconception wrong. 

They aren’t likely to be obviously hostile yet deny it like Cancer and Libra. That is what makes Pisces scarier than the others in a way. They are passive-aggressive in a way that has their target questioning their sanity.

Pisces passive-aggression is so hard to spot it can take days or months to recognize. They may even have put in motion a long-haul revenge plan. 

Pisces is sneaky, and it’s nearly impossible to oust their passive-aggressive behaviors. 

#3. Libra

Libra is the third most passive-aggressive zodiac sign.

Libra is the zodiac sign of balance and harmony. Symbolized by the scales, Libra’s nature is to avoid rocking the boat. When Libra is exposed to a person or situation that upsets them, they try to brush it off.

If the issue persists, Libra will resort to gentle suggestions at first. If it continues past that, the passive-aggression makes its appearance. 

Libra will become sarcastic and maybe even a little cold to the person causing problems. Even comments that aren’t laced with sarcasm carry a vibe of double meaning. If the person is deserving of Libra’s ire, they would do well to apologize.

If the person doesn’t feel guilty or is unaware, they stepped on Libra’s toes, it can cause them to become confused. 

Libra isn’t without mercy, though. If the person asks what it was they did wrong, Libra will finally tell them. If they are ready to. 

#4. Virgo

Virgo is the fourth most passive-aggressive of the zodiac signs.

Virgo dislikes conflict and can be bad at expressing their hurt emotions to others. So, they opt to be as passive-aggressive as possible. 

Virgo will be extremely sarcastic and give everything they say to the person a double meaning. Even when they are talking to others in that person's earshot. 

Virgo uses the technique used on children. Talk to someone else as if that person isn’t there to get them to listen. No one likes being talked about, especially right in front of them. 

It depends on Virgo’s level of irritation. They can be petty passive-aggressive or boarder on cruel passive-aggressiveness. If Virgo reaches the higher levels thats when it becomes obvious to everyone around them that something is wrong.

When confronted with the dreaded question of “what’s wrong?” they will deny it. Virgo will say they are just having a bad day. It’s their favorite cover-up excuse. 

This routine can become wearing to Virgo after a while. Though don’t get it wrong, Virgo is capable of holding a grudge for a long amount of time.

By the time Virgo gets tired of their passive-aggressive routine toward another person, they’ve probably forgotten why they are acting that way. 

Virgo will either have come clean early or carried on for so long they forget why they are mad.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Ngl, as fun as Aoyama & Hagakure's team up was; my main takeaway from the Kunieda fight it that it’s super embarrassing for the pros that Kunieda lasted this long. Maybe the pros' biggest embarrassment in this whole war; and I say that knowing just how many disaster resolutions have been carried by children today. Like I know there wasn’t a massive crowd of heroes for this one but really? They’ve captured literally everyone else, including other Tartarus hitmen & the best the PLF has, but this guy lasted until the very end? Longer than Dabi & Toga*? How? Fatgum turned out to be a bad match-up; but it wasn't just him, Aoyama, & Hagakure right?

And I do mean everyone else too; there was a point in this war where all the villainous mobs and extras had been detained and (depending on when the fight to free Machia was relative to everything from Kurogiri's release to his rescue of Aizawa) there were 6~9 villains left, and apparently they went down or stopped being problems in this order:

9. Spinner

8. Skeptic

7. Kurogiri

6. Gigantomachia

5. Dabi

4. Toga Himiko

3. Kunieda

2. AFO (probably)

1. Shigaraki Tomura (probably)

One of these is not like the others.

*Edit: it has been pointed out how I forgot how much we're jumping through time these past few chapters and that this fight is happening simultaneously with Dabi & Toga's fights. Granted, the pacing with AFO seems slower than with Dabi (what with everyone taking time to diss each other more) so he might already be down; but Toga definitely out-lasted Kunieda. So a revised (though still weird) list looks something like:

5. Dabi or Kunieda

4. Kunieda or Dabi

3. Toga Himiko...unless she outlasts AFO too, in which case good for her.

[gelu-the-babosa-multiversal]

Cute and angsty Egyxos future AU but not when Leo is an adult but years after his death, he already had children, and grandchildren and saw everything. He moved on and passed his last days with his family. Everyone else moved on with their lives except for one group, those friends that no one knew about.

The GA saw Leo grow not just into a warrior but into a family man, everyone have to see how with the years he became slower and exhausted, no longer the happy full-of-energy kid that once saved their kingdom. Kefer could not tolerate seeing this.

He was no longer a king, a Pharao, but something much more important, a God. But his father forbade him to do something, it would be too much to affect a process such as death. ¨Even a God could be punished if they play with such a fragile concept¨ Ra would say

But there should be something or at least anything to make the process slower, just to have Leo a bit longer. But deep down Kefer knew that it would not happen, and if it did, would he be happy to have a shallow shadow of what once was his friend. Death wasn't even a punishment to humans, it was liberation.

And so the young son of Ra let time do its curse, he let nature do its thing and saw how they buried what was left of Leo...

Years passed, the Walker family expanded having little contact with Egyxos. Toby also left a mark as he was the first human in millennia to marry a Goddes (Kyra), their children, demigods, would live and outlast their grandparents, cousins, and father.

Kyra was devasted but she knew that it would come. Her life didn't end as the new Queen of the Twilight islands, she instead decided to take the adventurous route taking her younger children with her will the oldest one stayed with Grandma Bastet to study and become the new ruler.

As for Kefer, his life became slower, grey, boring, just the same. Being immortal was maybe the worst punishment they could have given him. His father was always away with little time for him, Exaton was out doing his own life not seeing Kefer as brother or family anymore, and the rest of the GA was making their paths. Kefer was alone. A useless tool that was left to be forgotten.

One part of him was jealous as he was not as fast as the others, even his close friend Horus had built a life with a wife, children, and future descendants... it was just not fair.

He would pass hours looking at a wall or staring blankly at conversations. His only company at times where Apis in training and the servants of the Pyramid who were obligated to be there.

Life became just two sides. Boring or extremely boring. His life had lost meaning after his older brother was exiled from the land and their father Ra took the throne. Kefer was happy with that last part, as he never liked to be a Pharao. He loved his people but he never saw himself as a good political figure... or just a good ruler for his people.

Ans it keep like that. He tried his best to not be stuck in the same routine, change whatever he could, and find a new purpose. Maybe someone to love and start something new, but holly crap he was bad at to or he didn't understand how should it be.

Every chance he had, meeting and going with what it struck, it just failed. They were looking for status and not for love...

Things just got steamer as Kefer kept trying to find his other half, as one night when he was on a date with another prince, things got out of control. Both were not interested in each other and it was a kingdom union thing rather than an actual date.

Kefer didn't like it, he hated it more as his father thought that it was for the best. Not caring much for feelings and just for gaining more support. Kefer wasn't going to let that happen, he was going to make his father listen by screams or storms.

... and storms it was. Just a few saw it, but it was something that could never be forgotten.

And yet, time just kept passing and nothing seemed to have changed.

Until his wish was heard. Thus from an old grave, a baby Jackal found his way to Kefer's arms.

Kefer managed to do it, he found a purpose, and he became a father, and a loved one. To his son, Nilo or Leo for the rest of the family.

[sentienttoastah]

Someone mentioned in the reblogs of the last post about their preferred interpretation of Moby Dick and after seeing that I had a little personal thought discussion of my own in my brain and like ahahsjsjs it made me so happy

I just love looking at this book in a more serious way than I usually do so thank you to whoever that was :)

And speaking of, I think from now on I’ll give actual (only occasional!) literary commentary on Moby Dick for these Daily Dick posts because I cannot discuss this book with anyone else except the internet so yes. But for the sake of those who only want to see funky whale drawings I will keep them under the post’s cuts!!

Plus if I didn’t the post would be ungodly long.

Today, I tried to draw a bit of the crew but then I remembered I suck at drawing humans so even more extremely and unnecessarily green shaded Moby instead. Didn’t have much time so I just gave that fella the Outlast camcorder filter treatment. Dw, the cameraman is fine. Don’t like how this turned out though :(

I want to draw whale skeletons tomorrow :D

Anyways, delusional whale ranting time. Be warned this is way longer than my last one and will contain spoilers for those who haven’t finished the book!

So the reblog tag I saw went along the lines of interpreting Moby Dick as not a god but to have the reader doubt that fact throughout the book until the end because of the descriptions we get of him and honestly, yes. I absolutely agree on that for the original novel. It gives us dread while reading!!

Although I will say that if we were to add/accept some kind of mysticism to Moby Dick and see him as not only a whale and as something else, he still wouldn’t be a “god”. Yet at the same time he isn’t exactly a whale either. Or at least not a normal one (that much is clearly obvious I suppose). Like if that’s not a god then what is a god? And if that’s not a whale what is it? It’s all vague!!

One of the many messages or themes in Moby Dick is humanity’s constant struggle against the unknown and the uncertain. We all fear the unknown in one way or another whether we realise it or not. Why else do we dread our future? Or what will happen tomorrow? Or what will happen after death? Because we don’t know.

With Moby Dick we understand that he’s described as a massive white whale who is known to wreak havoc among sailors. But aside from that what else do we actually know about Moby? The only information we get about him all come from 3rd party sources (such as that other whaling crew they met at chapter 54) and then through Ishmael as our narrator. Like Ishmael himself has only encountered Moby Dick once. How do we know if the information he got from others is true?

And even if it was true it still doesn’t tell us a lot about Moby Dick. We don’t understand why he attacks ships, was he angry? Was he in pain? Was it his own form of revenge? Or was he genuinely just trying to mind his own business? We don’t understand how he became so intelligent, or whether it really was Moby Dick that they saw in the apparitions of chapter 51 or was it just a squid like we see in a later chapter? If it was Moby why was he following them?

The vagueness of Moby Dick’s position in being either whale or something else makes him haunting. So in my own interpretation I’d say to keep the final verdict completely undecided. He appears, then disappears. As only one of the many horrors of the deep. Moby Dick isn’t a horror book by any means but it is about the ocean, the ocean just so happens to be scary because we haven’t truly discovered everything it has to offer. Who knows what’s down there?

Also, not only the fear or mystery he gives to us as the readers but to the crew in the story as well. Moby Dick took victory from doing what other whales the crew have hunted never do. He was “unpredictable” as described. That wraps back to the beginning where I mentioned humanity’s struggles against the unknown and uncertain. But yet, even when we fear what we don’t know we are constantly challenging it still. We’re intrigued by it. Ishmael does so by wanting to learn more about whales and go off on more voyages despite his experience the first time around, and the pequod crew or most notably Ahab does so by challenging Moby Dick.

Speaking of Ahab, he himself can also be compared to Moby Dick’s unpredictability. He might not be vaguely god-like as Moby is, but there’s definitely something about him. Ishmael even quotes something about a mad man, a man who has let go of all rationality and morality, to be more dangerous than any beast. Why? Because he will become an unpredictable man. A man who will do anything to get what he desires even at the cost of others. Which is exactly what Ahab does. Humans are already dangerous enough when we understand them but when we don’t understand them? Even more dangerous no doubt.

That’s why his crew feared him after all. They didn’t know and nor did they want to know what would happen if they disobeyed him. Even Ahab doesn’t understand himself as he mentioned in the chapter with Starbuck. Why does he do the things he do? For revenge? For glory? For gold? He doesn’t understand except the fact he knows (or feels?) he has to. And it’s tragic.

In conclusion; aside from accepting differences, democracy, and the dangers of unhealthy obsession or copious amounts of whale anatomy, Moby Dick is also about the unknown and the uncertain. There’s a lot of other instances like Starbuck’s hesitation and Fedallah’s entire existence but I don’t want to drag out the rant for too long and obviously I’m not the first person to come up with this.

But what do you think? And thank you to anyone who actually read all my crap frfr 🙏🐟

[actual-changeling]

poetry/flow of consciousness that got a bit out of hand

—

It gets hard to find reasons once you think about it too hard. Does it matter, really, any of this, when my head will come out the other side exactly as it is? When change is little more than the empty promise you tell yourself at the end of the day to fall asleep?

Tomorrow, it will all be different. Tomorrow, I will become a new person. Tomorrow, all my problems will no longer be too heavy to carry. Tomorrow—the day that never comes, no matter how long you wait for it.

There is only now, this moment, this exact fraction of time that is over before we even acknowledge it, and yet the universe is irrevocably changed with every single one. I blink and matter moves, electrons get flung into space and caught by atoms forming my retina, my optic nerve, my body nothing but a being of consistent change. Does it count, though, when change is the constant?

Is it still change when there is nothing else?

Nothing ever truly stands still, we're all moving away from something, our goal barely more than the fragile hope that we will open our eyes again tomorrow. Variables, infinite variables and probabilities, and yet if you look back, most of it is a straight path, a story told in the right order, a life that happened to be lived exactly the way you lived it. We think about missed chances and 'what if's—everything we wanted but never received, everything we got that we wished we hadn't—while neither of us would be without all of it.

Trying to find a purpose, a reason for the pain and suffering, an entity to blame so your screams go somewhere and don't ripple until they fade away, the universe forever changed and somehow the same.

There is no purpose.

There are no reasons, and we cannot accept it, the idea of life—short, unremarkable, unimportant—needs to amass to more than what we can process. Chance brought us to where we are, and it will bring us to where we will be, and when our bodies disintegrate in the ground until the solar system crumbles and slowly, oh so slowly, the universe begins to die, there will be no one left to ask questions, and existence won't have mattered.

There is movement regardless of whether we want it or not, and as much as there is a 'now' to preside in, we could all die tomorrow and it will change the universe like a blink changes your life.

It happens. It will happen again.

Something moves, something almost, almost touches, but it's never quite there, and somewhere, it will keep moving even when the ripples fade. Nothing ever truly stops being utterly alone, and yet it sings, it screams, a choir of change birthing another and another and another; life as we know it, time as it passes.

Maybe insignificance scares some—or many—people, the desire to build something that will outlast you is inherent to almost every being, but it doesn't scare me, it never has. Surrounded by noise, there is holy loneliness in being the only one who listens to the songs your body sings you.

Alive, alive! Stay alive, keep changing to be someone, yourself, and there is a sonata in the blood cells making you breathe and an etude in the palm you press to your cheek.

The change we carry, the change we are, ripples in a pond that do not fade until they do before they begin again. Throw another stone, close your eyes, turn off the light, and hope that tomorrow will come. Hope that the pond won't freeze now, hope that in the daylight, the change it elicits will give you the reasons you're so desperately searching for.

None of it will last, and while it might not matter when you look past the pond, the water is singing—and you are listening. You ARE the song, just as you are the choir, just as you are one single voice drowning in a cacophony of sound.

None of it will last, none of it will outlast the pond, yet for one single moment in time—so fractional it passes before we know it—there are nothing but ripples and nothing remains unchanged.

Then everything stops.

But it was there, missed by no one and preserved in nothingness, but it was—and maybe that is reason enough.

[themattress]

I Grade: Sailor Moon Anime Arcs

After a 5 year hiatus, "I Grade" returns to Sailor Moon!

Origin Story (Episodes 1-13)

What makes the first ever Sailor Moon story arc so good partly came down to serendipity. Originally, this was going to be stretched out across two cours rather than one, with a lot more formulaic episodes of Usagi on her own before meeting Ami at around episode 20, Rei shortly after, and defeating Jadeite. But because the makers of the OP included Ami and Rei in it, it was decided to not test fans' patience like that, and thus we got Ami in episode 8, Rei in episode 10, and Jadeite defeated in episode 13. Which is good, because as interesting as watching Usagi learn and struggle on her own is, it would have way outlasted its welcome if the initial plan was followed and severely messed up the pacing of this team-oriented series.

As it stands, this is a well-paced, utterly charming beginning for the show, showcasing Usagi's journey from clumsy crybaby to capable superheroine to leader of a team, contrasted with her punchably smug nemesis Jadeite's descent from a genuinely formidable adversary to a struggling, incompetent failure. The best episodes are 1 (where it all begins), 3 (where Usagi and Jadeite first meet), 6 (a wonderfully atmospheric piece with a fantastic adult character-of-the-day), 8 (Ami's intro), 10 (Rei's intro), and 13 (the climactic battle with Jadeite at the airport). Everything else is fine, if not notably, often laughably formulaic and repetitive.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5

Star-Crossed (Episodes 14-24)

This arc is the show slowly plunging into a valley until suddenly rocketing upward toward a peak. Nephrite is a great new villain with an interesting new way of doing things, but for some reason or other the execution of it in episodes 14-18 doesn't live up to how entertaining the previous formula was. Maybe it's because there's a weird sexism undercurrent going on? Girls being aggressive instead of graceful in sports is wrong, girls be boy crazy over guys five years their age and argumentative over wedding dresses, guys who only take photos of girls for their beauty must be shown the error of their ways through the words of a male college student who bullies a female middle school student over allegedly not being beautiful among other things, and let's bring back that one little girl character and make her life about dolls! Coming off an arc climax that ham-fistedly preached girl power, this is fucking ridiculous.

But in the second half, Nephrite and the writers shift gears. Suddenly, we get a ton of dynamic plot progression and character development! Depictions of women and girls that don't feel sexist! A (questionably placed, tbh) beach filler episode that doesn't involve the central villains at all and it somehow works beautifully! And of course, the tragic doomed relationship between Naru and Nephrite which elevates the series to a new emotional level, turning a good show into a great one. What could have fallen a grade below the previous arc ends up worthy of a grade higher (though sadly not any more than that because of its start).

Grade: 4 out of 5

The Rainbow Crystals (Episodes 25-35)

This is hands-down the greatest stretch of episodes in not just this show but all Sailor Moon shows. We get the introductions of Queen Metalia, Makoto, Reika, Yuichiro, Minako and Artemis! The dangerously competent villainous duo of Zoisite and Kunzite! Mamoru / Tuxedo Mask developing into a truly fascinating character who gets to see a lot of action and who you're really rooting for! An episodic formula that has an air of unpredictability, as you never know who might bear one of the Rainbow Crystals and who might end up with it! Episode 31, a contender for the funniest episode in the series! And Episodes 33-35, where shit gets real.

Let's not beat around the bush, we all know what grade this arc gets.

Grade: 5 out of 5.

Moonlight Destiny (Episodes 36-46)

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time the original Sailor Moon series had an arc with a big quality decline in its first half only to redeem itself in its second, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice! The first five episodes here are the worst this show has ever been, and the following two are kind of shaky as well. After reaching such a high point in the previous arc, we regress to a more banal formula here with little sense of direction. It hurts the Sailor Senshi who now appear stupid and aimless, it hurts Kunzite who now appears inept despite how threatening he was before, and it really hurts Mamoru, now the "evil" brainwashed Endymion, who just ends up following his old Tuxedo Mask To The Rescue formula while just claiming that he's a Dark Kingdom warrior who wants to take the Silver Crystal from Usagi without ever doing much of anything that would grant him success in doing so because he's still too much of a princely gentleman for that. It's really weak.

But not only are things fully redeemed by the penultimate two episodes, one which is a testament to the growth of the Sailor Senshi's friendship and another which provides the full backstory that's been alluded to for so long, but then we have the two-part finale. This finale is the stuff of anime legends. All of the raw emotion it expresses as it dives headfirst into the deepest darkness will stick with viewers forever, as will the final clash between Princess Serenity and Queen Metalia. It's more than enough to grant this final arc a passing grade.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5.

FULL SERIES GRADE: 4 out of 5.

The Makai Tree (Episodes 1-13)

This is one of the best filler arcs in all of anime. Its relative light-heartedness is the perfect bridge between the darkness we've just been through and the darkness that's to follow, Ail and En are lovable sympathetic villains with an interesting progression as the arc goes on, the pacing is perfect, episode 10 is absolutely hilarious, and the lesson taught about love in the finale is a sound one: it's all about the giving, not the taking. This was the last arc that was directed by Junichi Sato before turning the reigns over to Kunihiko Ikuhara, and he made the most of it. My three complaints with it are that Ami never gets a focus episode even when everyone else does, the Moonlight Knight sucks and was a questionable creative choice, and despite its quality it is still a filler arc and thus never has any bearing on anything going forward beyond happening to be when the main characters regained their memories.

Grade: 4 out of 5.

Invaders From The Future (Episodes 14-28)

Well, this is a toughie. For every pro in this arc, there's a con. Chibiusa is a fascinating character...but she's also extremely annoying. Rubeus is an excellent villain...but it takes 15 episodes to defeat the goddamn guy and it can be taxing on viewers' patience given that he only gets more and more despicable during that time. The 4 Spectre Sisters are entertaining evil minions...but there's way too much of Calveras and Petz, not enough of Koan and Berthier. The girls and their friendship is still on point....but Usagi and Mamoru's romance gets derailed with a mind-numbingly stupid break-up plotline. The pacing would be perfect...if not for another questionably placed beach filler episode without the usual villains, this one not even any good! Ultimately, I can't call this arc anything but mid. The high points are incredibly high, but the low points are so low that they reflect badly on Kunihiko Ikuhara as a director.

Grade: 3 out of 5.

The Dark Gate (Episodes 29-35)

The midness continues. On the one hand, Chibiusa is now a more likable character, the break-up plot comes to its merciful end, and with the debut of Sailor Pluto and the rest of the Black Moon Clan the conflict's stakes are finally clarified after all the vagueness that came before. But on the other hand, Esmeraude is a huge step down from Rubeus as an antagonist, we get too much broad comedy that starts feeling actively disrespectful toward characters involved, and the brevity of the arc makes it blatantly clear that the writers were spinning their wheels until Naoko Takeuchi provided them with more material in the manga.

Grade: 3 out of 5.

Across Space and Time (Episodes 36-42)

Now that's more like it! The previous set of 7 episodes becomes a cross one is willing to bear in order to reach this set of 7 episodes, which pays off everything that had been building since Chibiusa's arrival and provides a spectacular climax. Yes, the finale isn't as emotional as the previous show's nor is the final battle as good, but when taken as a whole this last stretch of story puts the previous show's to shame. It's grandiose and epic on a scale we haven't seen before, with the present and the future intertwining to heighten the stakes.

Grade: 4.5 out of 5.

FULL SERIES GRADE: 3.5 out of 5.

Heart Theft (Episodes 1-13)

Return of the mid! This arc has a lot of things going for it: the darker than usual tone, the introduction of morally gray lesbian icons Haruka and Michiru, the wonderfully entertaining Professor Tomoe as a villain, and several stellar episodes. Unfortunately, we also have Mamoru officially becoming downsized as just "the boyfriend" and precious little else, one of the blandest villains ever in Kaolinite, a Minako focus episode that is at complete odds with her established character, and a sense that more than ever the anime is wildly diverging from its source material - to a detrimental level. Like, where the Hell is Infinity Academy? That place seems tailor-made to be a hub location for events in a formulaic anime, and yet it somehow isn't? And what about the mystic elements complimenting the scientific ones? Kaolinite would be so much more interesting if she was still a Grand Magus! It just feels like the anime producers rushed into this to keep things going when they could have stood to have a hiatus. If they had taken a break, I feel this series would have ended up stronger for it.

Grade: 3 out of 5.

Quest For The Grail (Episodes 14-22)

This is a surprisingly good set of episodes. Chibiusa returns as Sailor Mini-Moon and she's great! Professor Tomoe is as wonderful as ever and Kaolinite is traded out for a different red-haired minion Eudial who is better than her in every conceivable way and among the most competent villains in the franchise. There are some great dramatic episode like the flashback to how Haruka and Michiru met, and some hilarious ones like the "English speaking" one. There's even a make-up for the last bad Minako episode with a really good Minako episode. The climax is fantastic, with Sailor Moon finally finding the Holy Grail and becoming Super Sailor Moon. If only it wasn't for the direct follow-up where Eudial goes out like a punk by her car being sabotaged and flying off a cliff, since the whole show went over the edge with her.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5

The Dark Messiah (Episodes 23-31)

What a mess. Mimete is a huge step down from Eudial as a villain, Kaolinite is back and not that much more interesting than before, Hotaru and almost everything surrounding her is haphazardly shoved in without appropriate growing room, Chibiusa is starting to grow annoying again, the Outer Senshi become downright unlikable, and only at the very end do we finally get Infinity Academy! Also, maybe this is a me problem, but the whole heart-snatching Daimon formula is really starting to wear thin. The Daimons in the manga were horrifying, but here they're just regular monsters-of-the-week, and I accept that up to a certain point but if nothing changes then it just becomes tedious. Not coincidentally Sukehiro Tomita, the guy who was the head writer on the anime since the beginning, had stepped down in this arc and given things over to Yoji Enokido, and the downgrade in writing quality is obvious.

Grade: 2 out of 5.

Infinity Conspiracy (Episodes 32-38)

So after 9 episodes with Eudial and 9 episodes with Mimete, we get 1 episode with Tellu, 1 episode with Viluy, and half an episode with Cyprine? Makes sense. Oh, and Kaolinite's resurrection? Totally pointless, as she dies in a much lamer way this time around. While there's certainly more shit going down and Ikuhara's direction makes it a spectacle to be behold, that isn't enough to salvage basic writing blunders like the further destruction of the Outer Senshi's likability, the last minute introduction of a Final Boss who is fought and defeated off-screen, and two more episodes of meandering after that which results in the final enemy fought being a random monster-of-the-week Daimon, with the show ending on a cheesy iris-out on Chibiusa as if to say "Yeah, that's what it's all been about" when instead it's an omen to things to come. Why do fans love this trainwreck of a series so much, again?

Grade: 2.5 out of 5.

FULL SERIES GRADE: 3 out of 5.

The Amazon Trio (Episodes 1-22)

Formula, filler, formula, filler, formula, filler! It has never been as bad as it is here, where for 22 whole episodes we get precious little plot advancement or character development. Chibiusa has also taken over the series in order to appeal to younger viewers, and it's annoying. Maybe things got too dark in the previous show, but dialing it back too far to the other extreme was not a good answer. It's also insulting that the Sailor Senshi now have to rely on Pegasus for their power, and Mamoru is sidelined more than ever before despite being a major part of the corresponding manga arc. The major saving grace are the villains. The Dead Moon Circus with Grand Master Zirconia, the Amazon Trio, and the Lemures are so entertaining that they carry the whole show on their backs. I'm motivated to keep watching solely because of them, and the two-part pay-off at the end of the arc is damn well worth it.

Grade: 2.5 out of 5.

The Amazoness Quartet (Episodes 23-33)

At half the length of the previous arc, more important story advancements being made, and the Amazon Trio's replacements the Amazoness Quartet being just as delightful, this is a stronger set of episodes. Pegasus and Chibusa are still an issue, but at this point I'm fairly numb to them. If the show had been at this quality to begin with, it'd likely be viewed better.

Grade: 3 out of 5.

Queen Nehelenia (Episodes 34-39)

These final episodes ae good. The problem is that the ways in which they could have been even better are incredibly obvious and leaves the flaws more noticeable. Too much time is spent inside a big top, there's a lot of treading water just to extend the episode count, we don't go to Elysian, Mamoru still gets the shaft, and once again we end on an anti-climax. Also, it's retroactively tarnished by what follows unless you simply don't watch the next series, which I'd actually recommend. Anti-climax aside, this is a perfectly satisfying ending. Stars loses the director, head writer, even the theme song; you may as well go with them!

Grade: 3 out of 5.

FULL SERIES GRADE: 3 out of 5.

Nightmares (Episodes 1-6)

The worst arc ever, bar none. Its premise is dead on arrival - Queen Nehelenia returning after we just got finished dealing with her? On top of that, insultingly retconning her backstory and motivation in a way that undercuts her wonderfully dark and tragic conclusion from SuperS? It's horrendous. Add to this the rushed way of bringing back the Outer Senshi and the stupidity of writing out Chibiusa to appease fans even though doing so makes no logical sense at this point (and actively screws the Amazoness Quartet out of a reappearance even though they should have one over Nehelenia getting one) and you have a true shit sandwich.

Grade: 1 out of 5.

The Sailor Starlights (Episodes 7-15)

Shadow Galactica disguising as a corporation is a good idea and Sailor Iron Mouse is a hoot, but otherwise this arc starts the final saga off to an incredibly weak start. The Usagi-Mamoru separation plotline is even worse than the break-up plotline back in R, as we know the truth that Mamoru was killed en route to America but none of the other characters do, so the emotional angst about Mamoru possibly having moved on from Usagi is laughable. And of course, we have the Sailor Starlights. Look, I'm all for gender fluidity, but not in Sailor Senshi; that's a core rule of the setting. A boy band of biological males transforming into females and hogging the spotlight, especially when they're such minor characters (and just female) in the manga, is absurd, and trying to recreate the already iffy original dynamic between Usagi and Mamoru with Seiya was horrendously ill-advised...and Seiya isn't remotely likable either!

Grade: 2 out of 5.

The Girl and The Princess (Episodes 16-28)

This set of episodes is paced out well, and the duo of Sailor Aluminum Seiren and Sailor Lead Crow would work in a different context, but that's about all the positive I can say. I just. don't. care about what is going on anymore. I'm not a fan of Chibi Chibi, Princess Kagyuu does nothing to entice me, the Sailor Starlights reach new degrees of unlikability that make what Haruka and Michiru devolved into in S look reasonable, and I'm sorry but I just can't get over that we are in the final saga and we're still doing this monster-of-the-week formulaic bullshit, with the monsters and villains commanding them being sillier than ever before. Just compare this conflict to the conflict with the Dark Kingdom. How far we've fallen from then!

Grade: 1.5 out of 5.

Chaos (Episodes 29-34)

The final episodes are technically the strongest in Stars, with director Takuya Igarashi showing why there are great things in his future. The fight between Sailor Moon and Sailor Galaxia / Sailor Chaos is some of the best action the franchise has ever seen. Unfortunately, head writer Ryota Yamaguchi is still as lousy as ever. Characters dying one by one should have been happening gradually across the series, not just in these episodes, and the fact that the goddamn Sailor Starlights survive all the way is a slap in the face of the highest order. And on top of that, Sailor Galaxia's character is ruined - much like with Nehelenia, she's ham-fistedly absolved and made sympathetic with the reveal that nothing was truly her fault since she was possessed by Chaos...a possession caused by her because she's apparently the dumbest person in the universe. The ending where everyone's revived and we cut to the final credits as Usagi kisses Mamoru is just...hollow. Again, compare this to how hard-hitting the finale of the original series was, in just 2 episodes rather than 6. The difference is night and day. Thank God for Sailor Moon Cosmos, where we get the kind of epic finish we deserve.

Grade: 2.5 out of 5.

FULL SERIES GRADE: 2 out of 5.