#that means probably having moments where he’s chill or joyous (even if he may be faking them)

[mister-lucky-bunny]

I don’t wanna throw the baby out with the bath water, but damn Mouthwashing has already reached the “fandom infighting” stage of its life cycle huh

[ghostgothgeek]

Chaos.

Another for the Phic Phight! This one kinda combines two prompts and I had so much fun writing it! In this, Danny and Tucker don’t know Sam plays video games yet. 5,063 words.

"What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We´ve had a mutual crush on each other for years." Sam says angrily after finally confessing her love to him. But Danny´s heart was beating hard for someone else entirely. Prompt by phantomfana. 

Danny wants to ask his crush to the upcoming school dance. Prompt by Rikaleeta.

-----

It was another long night of ghost hunting for Danny. Technus took up the first part of the night, trying to take over the park’s new security system. Tucker was fortunately still awake to help him out with that. Then Johnny and Kitty rolled in, but they weren’t looking for trouble, they just wanted a date night and swore they wouldn’t be a problem. Apparently Fridays were their days off for “everything but each other”. Danny was a romantic, but he didn’t know if this was sweet or nauseating. Ember had put up a good fight, though. He was proud he only had one injury to tend to. He had dodged most of her attacks, but she was still a pretty advanced ghost. And, of course, Danny had caught the Box Ghost six, count them, SIX times. How did he always manage to get out?! He wasn’t difficult to take down, he was just a pest. 

Danny sighed as he sat down at his computer chair. It was only 12:30 am, and it was a Friday. He could sleep in tomorrow and he deserved at least a couple hours of fun. He logged into his online gaming account and saw Tucker was online. Figures. He pulled up the chat anyway. 

Astrohaunt: Hey Tuck. Still up?

Technopedia: You know it. Chaos signed on about a half hour ago and I’m not passing up the opportunity.

Astrohaunt: Dude is so good it’s unreal!

Technopedia: He goes to our school, I tracked one of his IP addresses and he logged in at school a few times.

Astrohaunt: Tucker wtf. That’s creepy!

Technopedia: I just want to make sure Chaos is actually a kid and not Lancer again!

Astrohaunt: I still can’t wrap my mind around Lancer playing Doomed…

Technopedia: Same. But Chaos IP is different from Lancer, so we good. Unless more teachers play Doomed.

Astrohaunt: I hate you for putting that image into my brain.

Technopedia: Sorry dude. But quick come join before someone else gets Chaos.

Danny, Tucker, and Chaos had made a great team. Whenever Chaos was around, they were actually able to progress through the game. They played several rounds until Tucker was caught by his mom and was forced to sign off, but Danny and Chaos kept playing. 

TeamChaos: Hey, what’s up?

Astrohaunt: Omg dude you’re so awesome. 

TeamChaos: Ha, thanks. Gotta blow off steam somehow. 

Astrohaunt: Tell me about it! Between Lancer’s three projects and midterms and...other stuff...this is my only time to actually chill. I’ve been so stressed!

TeamChaos: Same. I did finish one of the projects though. I’m always here if you need to talk, you know. 

Astrohaunt: Wow, I may just take you up on that offer. I’ve had a rough night.

TeamChaos: Lay it on me.

And so Danny, sparing the ghost hunting details, stayed up chatting with Chaos until 5 am. He got along really well with the guy, they had a lot of similar interests. This was just the first of many up-all-night conversations they shared. After a few months, Danny felt a special connection with Chaos, and yet, he didn’t even know his name! 

Astrohaunt: We’ve been talking all these months and I still don’t know your name. I’m Danny. 

TeamChaos: Oh, thought you knew. It’s Sam!

Astrohaunt: Hey! One of my best friends is named Sam! 

TeamChaos: You don’t say!!!

The next day at school, Danny pulled Tucker over to him, whispering, “Dude, help. I think I might be gay....” 

“What?!” Tucker shouted.

“Quiet, Tuck!” 

“Okay, well uh...why?” Tucker sent him a weird look and took a step back. 

“No, not you. Chaos. I think I have a crush on Chaos.” Danny ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do! I never thought I’d be...you know. Chaos and I just have good conversations and he’s always there to listen to me when I need to vent. I thought maybe I found another best friend but...this is different. Chaos is so cool and I’m crushing and I don’t even know who he is or what he looks like! Or if he feels the same way! Maybe I’m just stupid and-”

“Dude, chill. You’re jumping too far ahead of yourself. Whichever way you, you know, swing...I’m still your best friend.” Tucker pulled out his PDA. “Let me see what I can find out. I know Chaos goes to our school.”

“Thanks, Tuck. As if being half ghost wasn’t hard enough! Oh, and he’s in our class, because he’s talked me through assignments and knows what they are and stuff. He’s almost as good as explaining things as Sam. Crap...Sam. Don’t tell her about this!” Danny started fidgeting. 

“Well,” Tucker raised his eyebrows in surprise, “I can tell you with absolute certainty that Chaos is definitely a girl.” 

“You found out who Chaos is?!” 

“What, like it’s hard?” Tucker chuckled. “I traced the IP addresses she uses. I know who she is. So do you,” Tucker smirked, “It shocked me at first, but it makes total sense! And I can totally see why you like her.” 

“Really?” Danny let out a breath in relief. “Okay that makes me feel a lot better...hey, maybe I can ask Chaos to the dance next Saturday!” 

Tucker rested a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Go for it. Ask Sam. I’m almost positive she’ll say yes.”

“Okay, I will...wait, not Sam! Chaos!” Danny clarified. “Well, actually, I think Chaos told me her name was Sam. Ha, small world. I can’t wait to introduce Sam to Sam. I think they would really get along.” 

Tucker busted out laughing, “Oh, dude. You go ahead and do that.” He left Danny standing there in the hallway, still laughing all the way to his next class.

Danny, a bit confused by Tucker’s laughter, shook his head and smiled to himself. Okay, good. He’d had enough identity crises to fill a lifetime. Chaos was definitely a girl. Now if he just knew Chaos returned his feelings, things might actually work out for him this time and he could actually have a girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Sam was having an internal debate of her own. Sitting in a class where the teacher couldn’t give two shits about what the students were doing, she had always used this class as her thinking time. Usually her thinking-about-Danny time. She nervously clicked her pen as she thought about recent events. 

She and Danny spent so much time chatting online when they weren’t hanging out in person. Danny was a little bit more bold online, probably because he didn’t have to interact face-to-face or risk his pants falling down in public again. Online, they talked about everything. No topic was off limits. Plus, Sam felt like their friendship had only grown even stronger when they could chat online and not have to worry about blushing or getting teased by Tucker. Chatting online took away all the pressure and made it much easier to connect with Danny. 

Danny hadn’t said anything yet, of course. He was probably scared. Hell, she was scared. She was already so in love with him, and getting closer online only further solidified that fact. She had never been in love before, and even though she hunts ghosts, this was more terrifying! She was fairly certain he returned her feelings, but both were too chicken to actually make that final step. They’ve been best friends forever. She didn’t want to mess up their already great dynamic or force Tucker to be the third wheel, though he did insist he was more than okay with that and encouraged them to finally get together. 

Sam stopped clicking her pen as she suddenly remembered it was senior year. They hadn’t picked colleges yet, but whether they ended up going to the same school or not, things were going to change. Danny was very attractive, and going off to college meant girls may actually approach him when they didn’t know his parents were ghost fighters. The fact had never bothered Sam, but she did kind of like how it kept most girls at school from asking him out or giving him attention. Valerie had been a challenge, especially because she was a ghost hunter herself and probably wanted to get tips from his parents. Sam was glad that relationship ended relatively early. It was too hard on her. Joyous or not, though, she was still mad at Valerie for how she broke his heart. 

But that was 2 years ago. They had all moved on and friendships were more or less mended across the board. This made Sam glance at her favorite picture of her and Danny. Tucker had taken the candid picture and it was now her phone’s background. In it, Danny was giving Sam a piggyback ride. Her arms were lightly strung around his neck, legs looped around his waist. Danny had kept going in the opposite direction Sam told him to go, which frustrated her but also made her laugh. She had rested her chin on his shoulder, her face pressed right up against his. Danny was looking at her and Tucker had captured that rare moment when Sam had a huge grin on her face, still laughing. She smiled at the picture. They would be okay no matter what. Their friendship would survive.

Anyway, Sam also realized she had already come close to losing Danny, in more ways than one. Whether it was to other girls or a ghost, there was always that anxiety stirring in her head that she could lose him entirely some day. Life was too short. She needed to take the plunge for both of them and just get them both over this hurdle, and they could finally, finally, actually get together. 

Sam made her decision. It was now or never. She was going to tell him. Today. The trio was meeting up at Danny’s house later anyway, and if she got there early enough, she could talk to him before Tucker showed up and teased them about it. Sam firmly nodded her head to herself, a confirmation of her decision. It was finally time.

After school, Danny was pacing in his room, trying to figure out how he wanted to do this. Asking a girl to the dance wasn’t a huge deal, and yet at the same time, it was. He would rather ask in person, but he still didn’t know what Chaos looked like, so asking in person seemed to be off the table. He could look in the yearbook for all the girls named Sam at their school. He could already omit one Sam Manson from that list. How many Sams could possibly attend their school? It would be easier to ask Tucker, though. Tucker already knew who she was. Sam and Tucker were on their way over right now. When Sam wasn’t paying attention, he could ask Tucker for Sam’s full name. 

Chaos Sam, not best friend Sam. God, this was so confusing. Why were girls so hard for him? Freshman year, Paulina only liked his ghost half and wouldn’t give his human half the time of day. Sophomore year, Valerie hated his ghost half and that hatred was more important to her than her feelings for his human half. Junior year, he had been denying that he was in love with his best friend. And now that he had finally accepted that he did like his best friend as much more than a friend, a new girl entered the picture and he now found himself trying to choose between two Sams. Because it apparently wasn’t hard enough for him already to make the biggest and most important change he could possibly make in a friendship, let’s add another crush to the mix and give them the same name.

Sam. Best friend Sam - that’s who he was planning on asking originally, even if he chickened out and had to ask her as a friend instead. Plus, he and Sam had somehow gotten closer recently, and he was pretty sure she liked him. Sure, it was only because Tucker told him so, but it was a possibility. The thing was, he didn’t want to ruin things. Especially because he truly didn’t know how Sam, best friend Sam, felt about him. She was a tough and courageous girl, surely she would have said something by now if it were true. So Tucker must be pulling his leg.

But he did have another option - Chaos Sam, who may actually return his feelings. Sure, the feelings weren’t nearly as strong as what he felt for his best friend, but the feelings were still there. Plus, if he got rejected by Chaos, it would be less heartbreaking than being rejected by Sam, someone he had known for years rather than months. He could deal with losing a newer friend, but not one of his best friends. Sam was too important and he knew he needed her in his life.

Danny sighed. This was really hard, but he made a decision. It was easier to go with Chaos than risk ruining things with Sam. Danny had enough drama going on in his life already, he needed an easy win. 

He broke from his thoughts when the doorbell rang. He ran downstairs and opened it, only slightly surprised to see Sam there. She was usually early for things. He and Tuck were more prone to being late. 

“Hey, Sam. Come on in!” Danny moved so Sam could enter his house. He shut the door and followed her upstairs and back to his room as she returned his greeting. She was pacing the same path he just had, muttering quietly to herself. She looked nervous. “Something on your mind?” 

Sam was startled out of her thoughts. “Huh? Oh yeah.” She noticed his disheveled appearance, also noting he was fidgety. Was he going to do what she was about to do? “What about you, you look like you’ve been thinking a little too hard about something.” She smiled softly. 

Danny chuckled, “Yeah, but it’ll resolve itself soon. I’ll worry about it after the movies. Tuck should be here any second. Oh, but I’m glad you’re early. Can you help me with something quick?” 

“Of course.” Sam followed him to his desk, smiling and rolling her eyes when he pointed to a homework problem. “I should have known.” 

Danny gave her a lopsided smile and watched as she showed him how to do the problem in her perfect handwriting. It took no more than a couple of minutes. Now, they were just waiting for Tucker to arrive. 

Sam looked at the time. He would be here soon. She needed to do this now. She needed to tell Danny. She couldn’t wait until after the movies for him to tell her. She had already waited long enough and couldn’t bear another second.

“Danny, can I talk to you for a second?” She sat down on his bed and gestured for him to do the same. 

Danny could sense the seriousness in her voice, and nodded anxiously. He was scared when Sam was serious about things. It was usually something bad.

“Danny…” She decided to get straight to the point. “I like you. As in like-like you. More than like, and more than a friend. And we’ve been doing this dancing around for at least 4 years now and I’m sick of it. I just want to be with you already. What do you say?” Sam held her breath as she waited for Danny to answer. 

He stared at her with wide eyes before nervously rubbing the back of his neck and turning his attention to his shoes, avoiding eye contact with the goth. God, why him?! He had stupidly thought, for once, things would be easier for him this time. He had already sent an offline message to Chaos that he wanted to ask her something, and then Sam had to come along and tell him what he had wanted to hear for some time now. But he couldn’t blow Chaos off when he had already somewhat asked. Of course, his life just had to be complicated every step of the way. He really liked both girls and didn’t want to hurt his best friend. Regardless, he had to be honest. He owed Sam that much. “Well, I mean, yeah, but…” 

“But what?” Sam whispered, clearly already upset. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. This was exactly what he didn’t want to happen. He decided to try going with Chaos so he could avoid heartbreak from his best friend. The very thing he had been so afraid of, he was doing to her right now. 

Danny sighed again. “But I can’t. I’m so sorry, Sam.” It was hard to choke out, but he said it, and he felt terrible. He pressed his lips together and kept staring at his shoes until Sam lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at her. 

“What do you mean you don’t feel the same way? We’ve had mutual crushes on each other for years!” Sam said angrily, feeling her heart break as her best friend and love of her life rejected her confession of love. She was so sure he returned her feelings! Especially after all the great conversations they had shared online these last few months. “Or, at least, I thought we did.” Tears swelled in her eyes. Did he lead her on? “I-I need an explanation, Danny,” she quietly stated after he didn’t continue. 

Danny frowned and his heart ached. He didn’t want to hurt his best friend like this. Hell, he really liked her! Of course their crushes were mutual! And if this had happened 6 months ago instead of now, he would have jumped at the chance. But now...now he had Chaos and already forced himself to stick with his decision. It was easy with Chaos; there was no friendship to risk, no denying of being lovebirds or brushing off kisses as fakeout makeouts. Plus, he couldn’t lie to his best friend. She would know if he was lying. And he already told himself she deserved the truth. “There’s...someone else…” 

“What?” Sam whispered before turning angry again, “Paulina? Valerie? Star?” she spat out. 

Danny shook his head, “Ew, no...it’s someone I met online...I’m so sorry, Sam. I like you a lot, I really do, but I think I’ve already come to the conclusion that I like this girl I met online, Chaos, and I have to try to see that through.” 

Many emotions crossed Sam’s face as she pieced together what he just said. At first she was upset, but as he explained himself, she felt disbelief, confusion, anger, and finally, hope. He couldn’t really be that clueless, right? “Show me.” 

“Huh? I mean, I don’t actually know what she looks like, but we message every night and she really understands me! I know it sounds ridiculous, but-” 

“Show me,” Sam repeated. “Show me her profile.” 

“You’re not going to hurt her, are you?” Danny questioned cautiously.

“No, of course not. Just shut up and show me the profile.” Sam was more calm now, and that was kind of scary. Even though Sam said she wouldn’t hurt Chaos, he didn’t want to give her the chance. But he knew how stubborn his friend was, and eventually in whatever way, she would force the information out of him. 

Danny sighed and pulled up the profile to show Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’m still your best frien-” 

“Shut up.” Sam scrolled through what Danny pulled up for her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Closing her eyes slowly, she took a deep breath. “Didn’t Chaos tell you her name?” 

“Uh,” Danny thought, “oh yeah! She said her name was Sam, because I thought she was a boy at first and I had an existential crisis, but then Tucker told me-” 

“Danny. I’m Sam.” 

“No I know, and sure it’ll be a little weird cause you’re Sam and she’s Sam, it’s confusing, but I-” 

Sam interrupted him once again. She could hear Tucker’s footsteps approaching. She was running out of time to not make this a spectacle. “No, Danny. Chaos. Sam. Me. I’m Sam. I am Sam,” 

Tucker only heard the tail end of the conversation as he entered the room. Never able to pass up a comedic opportunity, he smirked and added “I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like green eggs and ham!” 

It was suddenly silent in the room as his friends seized conversation and glared at him. Oops. 

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Tucker could see the fire in Sam’s eyes. “Uh, oh wait I forgot my...sock. I’ll be downstairs!” He raced out of the room.

Sam turned her attention back to Danny. “No, you stupid fucking MORON. I am Chaos. You’ve been talking to me the whole time. I thought you knew that!” Danny stared at her blankly until she pulled out her phone and he watched her log into her account, proving it to him. Sure enough, it was Chaos’s profile. He could see all the direct messages between them, including his offline message about wanting to ask her something.

“Wait, you? You’re Sam? I mean, Chaos? I mean Sam?” Danny looked back and forth between the profile and his best friend. 

“UGH!” Sam shouted as she threw her hands in the air. “Yes, Danny. That’s me! Did you really not notice that Chaos was the same age as me and a girl who goes to our school? We have the same name and interests! Didn’t you wonder why it was so easy to talk right off the bat? I thought you put that all together and us just pretending to not know each other was a little bit you were trying to do or something!” 

Danny stared at her as he continued to piece it all together. He was definitely embarrassed. He felt so stupid. How could he not tell that Chaos was Sam, his best friend since 7th grade? Talk about being totally clueless. 

Wait. Clueless? Well, fuck! He got the nickname now! 

His eyes flickered back and forth as he thought everything through. Eventually, he started to crack a smile. “Wait, so I’ve had a crush on you and also you? You’re the same person! This is great! Do you know what this means?!” 

Sam slapped her forehead and began walking downstairs. “I don’t even know if this is worth it anymore…” 

“Wait, how come Tuck and I never knew you played video games! We can enter team tournaments! You’re so good!” Danny chased after her. 

Tucker watched as Sam grumbled about Danny caring more about video games than her. An excited Danny was right on her tail. 

“Tucker! Sam is Chaos! I’ve been in love with Sam this whole time!” Danny explained. 

“Tucker, I need you to refrain me from slapping his stupid clueless face,” Sam started. 

“Wait, you didn’t know Sam was Chaos? Dude! I thought I was obvious about that!” Tucker began laughing at Danny. 

“I know, so did I.” Sam crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Danny, you can calculate levels of rocket fuel and figure out how to get us to Mercury or something,” Tucker started. 

“Mars, actually,” Danny corrected. 

“But you can’t figure out that your best friend and your crush are the same person? You’re more than Captain Clueless, you’re like….Lieutenant Clueless? That’s like, bigger right?” Tucker continued. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Tuck,” Sam chimed in. 

“Shut up Sam, this isn’t about you,” Tucker immediately stopped his train of thought when he felt Sam glaring daggers at him. “Heh, uh. Except it does. It actually has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry I told you to shut up, please don’t hurt me!” He threw his hands up in front of himself in defense. 

“Relax, Tucker. I’m more angry with this fucking dingus,” she pointed her thumb in Danny’s direction. 

The halfa was about to protest, then closed his mouth. “That’s fair, I deserve that.” 

“I can’t even look at you right now. You scared me! I poured out my emotions to you. I thought you were rejecting me and that I would have to change my name and move to a different country! Wait, are you still rejecting me?” Sam stopped her pacing to look at him. 

“Of course not, Sammy!” 

“Oh don’t you ‘Sammy’ me! I told you I love you, you stupid fucking idiot!” Sam began throwing pillows at Danny, who expertly dodged them (though as a result, Tucker got hit in the face by one). 

“Technically, you didn’t say ‘love’ you said ‘like’”, Danny offered as Tucker shook his head and slashed finger across his neck, signaling Danny to stop talking. 

“Oh, I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I’m going to go jump off a cliff now!” Sam growled and Danny let out a small “oomph” as one of the pillows finally got him. 

“I’m out. Good luck, bro!” Tucker quickly slipped out the door, leaving Danny and Sam alone. 

Sam was about to follow Tucker out when Danny stopped her, “please don’t leave!” She still had angry tears in her eyes. He frowned. This was not how he expected things to go. She watched him for a few seconds before sitting down on the couch, refusing to look at him. “Sam I’m so sorry, this is just a huge misunderstanding.”

“No, Danny. It’s not. You were going to turn me down to go out with someone else.”

“But that someone was still you!”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! We’ve been friends for years, and you were more interested in someone you just met a few months ago! I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Danny! I’ve been standing by for years as you continuously chose other girls over me. I thought we were done with that, and that you were finally choosing me first, but you won’t and you never will and I’m so stupid.” Sam put her head in her hands as she tried her hardest not to let tears fall. 

And that was when he finally figured it out. It wasn’t just the moment of rejection, it was years of rejection, and at her biggest confession, she still thought he was choosing someone over her. Not to mention, Tucker witnessed most of the conversation. Sam rarely showed her emotions. She always had her heart guarded, and he knew this. Tucker knew this. Hell, she didn’t even tell them she was rich until after a few years of friendship. It took them a while to get her to open up to them. She was a pretty private person. She was probably already hurt like this before. And now, she was probably embarrassed.

“You’re definitely not stupid. I’m stupid. I should have known it was you. That was actually what I really liked about Chaos, she reminded me of you.” 

Sam forced a small sarcastic laugh, “Yeah, right.” 

“No really,” Danny sat on the couch next to her and grabbed her hand, placing it in both of his. “Sam, you’re absolutely incredible. How dumb would I have to be to not notice?” Sam gave him a pointed look. “Okay yeah but it’s not the way you think it is. I liked Chaos because she was a lot like you. She reminded me of you. And it just seemed easier to go with her because she was basically you, but she and I didn’t have a really great friendship that could have gotten ruined if we broke up or something. I could live without her, but I can’t live without you. You’re always my number one. Always have been, always will be. Even if I did just fuck everything up. I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m ready to be with you, if you’ll still have me.” 

Sam stayed silent and stared at her lap, processing this new information. Of course she would forgive him; she always did. She just needed a little time. 

Danny was getting nervous that he really did fuck this up for good. This was so fucking important! He couldn’t risk fucking this up! Sensing her hesitation, Danny tried one more thing to get her back. One thing he hasn’t done before. One thing he just learned how to perfect.  

“Sammy, I’m sorry,” a duplicate popped up next to her on the other side of the couch, startling her. 

“Please forgive me?” Another duplicate was floating in front of her, hanging upside down, hair flopping all over the place. 

“I know I’m a dummy but,” Sam snapped her head towards a third duplicate. 

“I’m only a dummy because I’m in love. With you,” the real Danny finished. Sam looked back and forth between all the Dannys.  

“We’re sorry, Sammy,” all the duplicates said at once. 

Sam was trying really hard to hold back a smile. “You learned how to duplicate,” she stated simply. 

Original Danny grabbed her hands. “Sam. I will make this up to you. I promise.” 

She could hear the determination in his voice and sighed. “You better.” 

Danny smiled and hugged her. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I love you so much!”

Sam pushed him off of her. “I love you too, you fucking idiot.” 

“But I get to be your idiot!” Sam couldn’t hold her laughter back anymore. “Oh!” Danny shouted, “Will you go to the dance with me? Please?” 

Sam pretended to ponder the answer before saying “alright”. 

“Yay!” All 4 Dannys cheered. The duplicates on either side of her kissed her cheeks as the real Danny kissed her forehead tenderly. The final duplicate, feeling left out, squeezed his way in to give her a hug. 

Sam was now roaring with laughter before kissing the real Danny sweetly. “You know, duplicates won’t always get you out of trouble,” she warned. 

“Yeah, but they could come in handy for other things,” he wagged his eyebrows up and down suggestively before passionately kissing her, the duplicates kissing her neck and touching her in near-dangerous places. 

Sam bit back a moan, eyes lustful before smirking, “I think you just found a way to make it up to me.” She began dragging the real Danny and one of his duplicates back to his room. Fuck the movies.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Review: Always, in December by Emily Stone

It may still be summer but I am very ready for the festive season to start. Now that I’ve read this tearjerking, life-affirming book, I’m very much in a Christmassy place right now.

Josie has always found Christmas difficult. Her parents died on Christmas Eve when she was just nine years old and every year since, she has written and posted a letter to them. One year on the way to the postbox, her bicycle veers off course crashing into a handsome stranger on the pavement. Max was on his way to New York to spend Christmas with his family but when his flight gets cancelled, he is put on stand-by and sent back to London, which is when Josie quite literally knocks him off his feet. Both alone for Christmas, they decide to spend it together and both of them feel it could be the start of something. But then Max leaves without explanation, leaving Josie heartbroken and confused. Over the next year, fate keeps pulling Josie and Max together but Max is hiding a dark secret that means that goodbye is never far away.

Josie is haunted by her parents’ deaths and although she was given a wonderful upbringing by her dad’s parents, there is always something missing within her. At the happiest points in the novel, Josie often reflects on her memories of her parents and wonders how they’d feel about how she turned out. From her uncertainty about her career to reluctance to acknowledge her talents, Josie is very much of a lost soul and a lot of this probably comes from the devastation she went through as a child. She deserves nothing but the best and I wanted nothing more for her.

Max is simply wonderful. He’s kind, thoughtful, handsome and so incredibly likeable. I know that I was seeing him through the eyes of the woman who was slowly falling in love with him but I really was falling for him alongside Josie. I couldn’t work out why he seemed to be disappearing all the time and I prayed that it wasn’t for evil reasons. However, the truth was even more heartbreaking than I imagined and I’m not sure there could have been a sadder ending.

There are some very beautiful, romantic scenes in this novel that thoroughly transported me both mentally and emotionally. Dancing with your favourite human in a quiet London street in a soft snowfall is the stuff of dreams and I was completely caught up in this moment with Josie and Max. My heart swelled, my body was flooded with a warm fuzzy feeling and my mind was at a complete stand-still (which it literally never is!). Emily Stone did such a wonderful job of capturing moments of real magic and welcoming her readers into them. It was such a joyous escape!

Part of the book follows Max in New York after he has left Josie and London behind. He can’t stop thinking about her and there is a scene where he thinks he sees her in a crowded part of the city. He dodges past people trying to catch up to her but when he eventually does, he realises that it isn’t her at all. This could have come directly from a Richard Curtis film and indeed, so much of the book has a glowing cinematic edge to it. That persistent longing for someone coupled with having suffered a life-changing loss is something that so many of us can relate to, so I’m sure a film adaptation could work so well.

Although it is largely a sweeping, tragic story, there are also moments of humour. Josie and Max find themselves at a wedding in Scotland, where Josie is seated next to Rob, an eligible bachelor, who she isn’t particularly interested in. So, she tells him elaborate, fantastical stories about herself for a bit of fun but Rob seems to lap it up, providing a hilarious exchange. We don’t see a lot of Josie’s witty side but it’s really lovely when it does make an appearance!

A family emergency brings Josie back to the village she grew up in and this is where the Christmas vibes are really amplified. I could smell the gingerbread baking, feel the chill in the air as Josie showed Max the village Christmas tree and hear the buzz of a community coming together and celebrating. Despite reading this book on a pretty warm day, I wanted nothing more than to cosy up with a fresh baked good in front of a festive film.

I had no doubt that Josie and Max were perfect for each other. They just seem to fit together so exactly and they were more than a match for each other in kindness, loyalty and warmth. This is why I couldn’t understand why Max didn’t seem to agree with me. When the bombshell hit, the breath flew out of my lungs and tears spilled out of my eyes. I can usually predict what’s going to happen in stories like this but apparently I completely missed the clues in this one. I didn’t see this gut-wrenching twist coming at all and I was left reeling in shock right before finishing it.

Always, in December is an incredibly romantic, soaring tale of true love that packs an enormous punch. It’s beautifully written with fantastic characters and grips you right from the start. With a strong emotional charge and the power to take you away to a magical Christmas bubble, fans of Josie Silver books and Richard Curtis films will want to tell Santa to put a copy of this one in their stockings this year!

Always, in December by Emily Stone is available in eBook and audiobook format now and will be published in paperback by Headline Review, an imprint of Headline, on 14th October 2021.

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 10

An Asha’man contemplates personhood and Perrin finally has a meeting.

Chapter 10: After the Taint

Back to Perrin, who’s talking with Elyas and Grady and walking through camp and still not meeting Galad. His last chapter seemed like the last few moments before such a meeting, but I guess we’re drawing this out a bit more?

Ah, a fallen statue with a sword. Well, now I know generally where we are in the timeline, at least. That’s the statue Rand mentioned to Nynaeve (when he told her to dream on my behalf, Nynaeve; and yes, that still hurts).

Perrin’s second-guessing all his life choices—okay, in fairness, mostly just his recent strategic choices—and Elyas, voice of reason, is making the very good point that you can’t actually anticipate every eventuality. Or, as Lan might say, “You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that.”

Lan may not be there, but I’m glad Perrin has both Elyas and Tam with him. Both of them are good… not just grounding influences but I guess… steadying ones. They’re people who have gone through quite a lot of Life Experience, not all of it pleasant, and have emerged from it with a clear sense of who they are, and how they fit into the world around them. And Perrin needs people like that with him now; Rand needs people who help remind him he’s human, Mat needs his Greek chorus, and Perrin needs… people who have found that kind of balance within themselves, to show him it’s possible. Elyas, who has found his balance between man and wolf. Tam, the farmer and soldier, and neither of those lessening the other. In a way, I think they’re both not unlike the sort of person Perrin himself might be when he’s older.

I suppose what I’m getting at here is, it’s good for Perrin to have some role models.

Ugh, apparently the Two Rivers people are still judging Perrin for that time they think he slept with Berelain. Don’t slutshame the wolfboy, people; for all you know he has an open marriage!

…Okay anyone who’s met Faile could likely guess that’s not the case. But they should know better than to trust so much to rumour, especially when they know Perrin. Unfortunately, though, people are people. Also, you know, Wheel Of Absolutely No Communication and all that. Sigh.

Perrin wants to sneak into the Whitecloaks’ camp for a rescue mission, and Grady just wants to go Dumai’s Wells on their asses. Not…sure either of those is exactly a great solution here, boys. Have you considered talking? Oh, wait, no, forgot what series I’m reading.

He hated the idea of letting the Asha’man loose with impunity. The scent of burned flesh in the air, the earth ripped apart and broken. The scents of Dumai’s Wells. However, he couldn’t afford another distraction like Malden. If there were no other choice, he’d give the order.

And now he knows how Rand felt, when he did give that order.

Still, this could be taken as a small moment of growth for Perrin, to acknowledge—hating the idea but not letting it drag him fully into a crisis of self-hatred—that he could do this, will do this if he has to. That this is an option available to him, and that if it is necessary, he’ll do it. And being able to do that not in the moment (the way he sort of did with the Shaido prisoners, for example), and not in that desperate single-minded focus on finding Faile, but as a simple evaluation of the options available to him, in anticipation of what might be needed for this next task.

Still, for all their sakes, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

Not yet, though. There are no coincidences with ta’veren. The wolves, the Whitecloaks. Things he had been outrunning for some time were returning to hunt him.

Wow that sounds almost like self-awareness! And lack of denial! Again, to Perrin’s credit, he’s been alright at that for a little while now, but it’s still a big enough achievement that I’ll celebrate it whenever it happens with these boys.

But yes, Perrin. It’s the endgame of an epic fantasy series; there are no coincidences here.

The Whitecloaks had haunted him since his early days out of the Two Rivers. Dealing with them had never been simple.

It felt like the time had come. Time to make an end to his troubles with them, one way or another.

That, basically. Coming full circle and getting closure to an arc and all that fun stuff.

Which is another reason why this shouldn’t end in violence, perhaps. Because that’s what started all of this: Perrin fought the Whitecloaks, and killed two of them (and then several more, with Gaul, for old times’ sake), and had to Deal With That, both in his own mind acknowledging himself as a killer and with the consequences of it. And at every stage of this he’s been in conflict with the Whitecloaks. Fighting them directly, or at odds with them in the Two Rivers.

(They make such a good point of conflict for him too, especially when you set the Tuatha’an on the other side, because together they kind of represent an extreme version of some of the sides of Perrin’s own conflict within himself. The Tuatha’an as an extreme version of his wish for peace and his fear of the violence he carries within himself; the Whitecloaks as an extreme version of a determination to do the right thing.)

But now the Whitecloaks are being set up for a kind of redemption via Galad, and Perrin’s arc is drawing to a close for the endgame, and so it would fit both sides for this long-running conflict, which challenges the fundamentals of who they are, to come to a close not in violence but in alliance. To recognise in each other something to be admired rather than only something to be feared or hated. To see points of similarity rather than just irreconcilable difference. Because to do so would also, I think, mean accepting some of those things in themselves, so that they can all move forwards.

And on the subject of alliance where once was enmity, the Asha’man and Aes Sedai with Perrin have figured out linking. Well, Neald has, and Grady seems keen to get on board. Cooperation! Overcoming millennia-long barriers! Being stronger together!

“Light! It’s wonderful. We should have done this months ago.”

Or centuries, but it’s all relative, right?

I do love, though, that at almost every turn, once this kind of cooperation happens, it’s seen by those involved as something positive, treated with this kind of joyous amazement. Like Nynaeve’s first time as part of a circle, or this, or affirmations of friendship, or those moments when characters finally decide to be open or honest with one another. It’s almost always rewarded; it takes a hell of a lot of work and time and pain to get there, but once they do, it’s something good.

“I was wondering if I might…” [Grady] seemed hesitant. “Well, if I might have leave to slip over to the Black Tower for an afternoon, to see my family.”

Oh. Oh man. Okay I think I see where this is going. (The importance of having family, to keep him grounded, as Rand recognised so long ago when he first started gathering men who could channel, before he all but lost sight of his own anchors. And the taint is gone now so it’s safe, or at least safer…).

Also, please let Grady or someone go to the Black Tower because I need a Black Tower interlude. It has been far too long and there have been far too few in the first place. What is happening there. I need to know. Because of reasons.

Damn it Perrin let him go see his family! I mean okay fair, there’s a clear threat ahead and a possible threat behind so tactically yeah, not a great time. And he does agree to let Grady go at some point soon.

“You never worried about this before, Grady,” Perrin said. “Has something changed?”

“Everything,” Grady said softly. Perrin got a whiff of his scent. Hopeful. “It changed a few weeks back. But of course you don’t know. Nobody knows. Fager and I weren’t certain at first, and we weren’t sure if we should tell anyone for fear of sounding delusional.”

“Know what?”

“My Lord, the taint. It’s gone.”

And with it, the certain death sentence they’ve all been living under. It does change everything: once, they were weapons, because that was all they could hope to be in their brief time of power before madness. Once, all they could do in the end was die for this cause. Now, there’s a chance they can live for it. Can let themselves be more than weapons again, can hope for something more.

In its own way it’s yet another version of Rand’s realisation on Dragonmount, for all that this comes earlier chronologically (and for all that we’ve seen it happen already for some of the characters who were closer to the cleansing). This idea that there might be more to the future than death, more to give than a last stand and despair, more to be than a weapon.

The timing of this does seem kind of weird, given that the cleansing was several books ago now, and the explanation that they were waiting to be sure… eh, I suppose no one ever tells anyone anything in this series so it doesn’t strain suspension of disbelief too far. I suppose it just feels weird because everything about Perrin’s chapters up until now has felt like a building up of tension before his inevitable meeting with Galad, and this feels like a kind of random digression.

Not an unimportant one—this is lovely, and fits well in terms of where we are in the overall story in the sense of realisation of hope once thought lost—but just… somewhat oddly placed.

“Seems the sort of thing Rand might have been about,” Perrin said.

Which might just be the most chill reaction to hearing about the cleansing of saidin we’ve seen from anyone. Oh, a miracle? The removal of a three-thousand-year-old evil that has gradually destroyed so much of society and thrown the world out of balance? Yeah, that sounds like something Rand would do, cool, fair enough.

It probably helps that Perrin himself can’t channel, so all of this would feel a bit more… abstract, maybe? Which might make it easier to accept than it would be for someone to whom this is an integral part of their lives. Still, it makes me laugh.

“When I joined the Lord Dragon, I knew what would happen to me. A few more years and I’d be gone. Might as well spend them fighting. The Lord Dragon told me I was a soldier, and a soldier can’t leave his duty. So I haven’t asked to go back before now. You needed me.”

“That’s changed?”

“My Lord, the taint is gone. I’m not going to go mad. That means… well, I’ve always had a reason to fight. But now I’ve got a reason to live, too.”

This, exactly. The difference between having something to die for and having something to live for; dying for a cause and living for one. It’s adjacent to Rand’s own why do you fight question and realisation, but it’s also the realisation that there is something more than death ahead.

There’s a kind of honour, certainly, in knowing he’s going to die and deciding to at least make that death worth something—give that brief time before madness to some kind of cause, use this power that damns him to serve some goal. But now that’s not the only choice. Now he can decide to fight, still, but also to live, and to hope for something else; to be a soldier, yes, but not merely a weapon.

It’s one of those shifts in perspective that from one angle looks so slight but that actually means everything, that changes everything.

And again, while the specific timing in this chapter is a little weird, it otherwise is such a fitting realisation; sure, it’s technically before Dragonmount, but narratively it’s during this time when this kind of shifting perspective is spreading across the world from its epicentre: the mountain where hope first seemed to die and now at last has been restored. This realisation that there’s more than just a dark inevitability to the future; that instead there are choices and things to live for and possibilities and second chances.

(There’s one rather prominent character who still has yet to come to his own version of this realisation, but he’s riding towards it now, unless I am very much mistaken).

That was what Perrin had sensed in the Asha’man all along, the reason they held themselves apart, often seeming so sombre. Everyone else fought for life. The Asha’man… they’d fought to die.

That’s how Rand feels, Perrin thought.

Indeed. And almost surprisingly perceptive of Perrin; for a while in the middle he sort of… didn’t quite allow himself to see Rand’s despair and sadness. But he’s absolutely right, in this.

And he touches on another key part of this change, in that thought of the Asha’man holding themselves apart. Not quite letting themselves be part of the world in the same way as others, not allowing themselves connections and friendships and anchors; turning themselves to weapons (or, in Rand’s case, to steel, to cuendillar). Which then leads to a kind of apathy or despair, to no longer having anything to live for, because they allow themselves nothing, because they don’t allow themselves to be people. But now they can, and so Grady is reaching back out to those things that mattered, back when he was a person and not a weapon (like the veins of gold). Drawing on them once more to pull himself back, to let himself be himself again.

I suppose in a way this ties into where Perrin is in his own story as well, now that he has found Faile and come out of the other side of that single-minded despair in which nothing else mattered. Because he, too, is finding his footing again after that. Finding some kind of purpose. It’s not like-for-like, but it all ties together.

Grady laughed. It felt odd, but good, to hear that from the man.

Laughter and tears.

Oh, are we actually going to get the meeting with Galad now?

“There is a stranger riding along the road towards camp. He flies a flag of peace, but he wears the clothing of these Children of the Light.”

FINALLY.

Oh good Tam is here. Tam is a good person to have around when everything’s likely to go to shit.

Ah it’s Dain Bornhald rather than Galad. That’s… not exactly ideal. He and Perrin didn’t precisely part on the best of terms. Or meet on the best of terms. Or ever interact on anything but the worst of terms, really.

Anyway Bornhald opens by calling Perrin a criminal so we’re off to a great start.

“It is you. The Light has delivered you to us.”

“Unless it has also delivered you an army three or four times the size of the one you have now,” Perrin called, “then I doubt very much that it will matter.”

I’m always here for Perrin’s backtalk, of course, but I’m pretty sure an outright threat isn’t going to help this situation any. Then again, it was more or less a lost cause as soon as Bornhald showed up, given I don’t think anything but a severe concussion and possibly amnesia is going to change his opinion of Perrin, so.

Perrin’s attempting something vaguely resembling diplomacy, in that he’s basically saying ‘why don’t we just ignore each other until we’re out of sight’, but Bornhald’s not so keen on that option. Unsurprisingly.

“But I will leave that for the Lord Captain Commander to explain. He wishes to see you for himself.”

YES. FINALLY.

Though Perrin’s not so keen on walking into what could very likely be a trap, and Tam’s thinking much the same thing… but hey, he’s ta’veren; what could possibly go wrong? When has knowing they’re walking into a trap ever gone anything but perfectly well for any of these characters? (Don’t answer that).

“Burn me, Tam. I have to at least try before attacking them.”

That’s… a fair point, at least given Perrin’s own sense of honour and morality. It’s part of his ongoing conflict with the Whitecloaks as well, really: at none of their encounters has he actually wanted to kill them, or to attack first. He’s not out hunting them, and while he does sort of bear a grudge against them now, it wasn’t always that way. It’s just that there’s quite a lot of bad blood there, and even in the early days things went south quickly, and so it inevitably ended in bloodshed.

The six of them broke away from camp, and blessedly, Faile didn’t seem to have heard what was happening. Perrin would bring her if there was a longer parley or discussion, but he intended this trip to be quick, and he needed to be able to move without worrying about her.

Kind of a shame, given that she could be an asset in a discussion or negotiation. But at least he knows that well enough to be thinking of bringing her along if there’s going to be extended talking, I suppose. Would Galad know her? Maybe not on sight, but I’d imagine he might know her name, and certainly would know her father’s… that could help. Or not; who knows.

HI GALAD.

The tall man had fine features and short, dark hair. Most women would probably call him handsome. He smelled… better than the other Whitecloaks.

This description is just trying way too hard to emphasise the ‘no homo’ that it pretty much runs screaming in the other direction, and I’m laughing.

“Goldeneyes,” the man said. “So it is true.”

“You’re the Lord Captain Commander?” Perrin asked.

“I am.”

Oh, of course we’re doing this without Perrin ever getting his name. Of course. I can’t quite decide if that strains my suspension of disbelief or not, but either way: ARGH. Then again, Perrin’s never actually met Galad and doesn’t know that Maighdin is Morgase, and barely even knows Elayne, so knowing Galad’s identity might not actually help him all that much.

“What will it take for you to release the people of mine you’re holding?”

“My men tell me they tried such an exchange once,” the Whitecloak leader said. “And that you deceived them and betrayed them.”

Well, yes, they would say that. But Galad, you of all people should know that there are probably more sides to that particular story, especially given you’re not getting it from an unbiased source.

Galad keeps listing out Perrin’s alleged crimes, some of which could be argued to be true (killing Whitecloaks); some of which are bullshit (leading Trollocs to attack his own village), but none of which he has any actual evidence for, beyond the word of his own men. Their word against Perrin’s, and it seems like Galad should also know that just because he’s the Lord Captain Commander now, and trying to drag this organisation kicking and screaming into some kind of redemption, doesn’t mean everyone in it is suddenly noble and honourable and not lying outright to him.

Or even that they’re mistaken. That, as is so often the case, there’s just more to the story. That maybe the people whose information he’s relying on didn’t know everything that was actually happening. Which is closer to the truth, really; Bornhald genuinely believes Perrin is evil, and so everything else gets filtered through that lens of confirmation bias.

“I want a more formal parley, where we can sit down and discuss. Not something improvised like this.”

“I doubt that will be needed,” the Whitecloak leader said. “I am not here to bargain. I merely wanted to see you for myself. You wish your people freed? Meet my army on the field of battle. Do this, and I will release the captives, regardless of the outcome.”

I am a little surprised Galad outright refuses Perrin’s request to sit down and talk about this like adults. Because sure, he’s seen Perrin now, but what information does that tell him? It’s a perfectly reasonable request, and nothing Perrin’s said to him has been particularly unreasonable, and again, Galad should know better than to just take as absolute truth everything he’s been told.

Then again, Bornhald told him the truth about Valda and Morgase, so maybe that’s earned him Galad’s trust? Still, it seems odd that he wouldn’t give Perrin some kind of chance—a trial, or a conversation—to defend himself, before challenging him to a battle, where so many more people could die.

I just don’t get Galad sometimes, but what else is new.

“Your force will face ours under the Light,” the Whitecloak leader said. “Those are our terms.”

So you’re just going to sentence some of your own people to death in order to determine this, rather than… talk? Sure. Okay. Trial by combat by proxy; why the hell not.

I’m still guessing it’s not actually going to come to that, somehow, though I can’t quite see how. Unless Galad sees Morgase. That’s the only thing I can think of that could potentially stop this from turning into the mess it’s currently heading for.

He could take the Whitecloak leader captive right here, with barely a thought.

Perrin was tempted. But they had come under the Whitecloak’s oath of safety. He would not break the peace.

That’s some rather weird logic, if you’re intending to then meet him on the field of battle. Capture one person, and the cost is breaking an oath of peace. Keep that oath of peace, and the cost is, very probably, the lives of some of the people following you.

I mean okay, I get it, truce flags should be honoured because otherwise Bad Things Happen, but… eh. Like with a lot of the ‘rules’ of warfare, sometimes thinking about it too hard gets a bit weird.

***

Oh we get a Galad POV now, so maybe his thinking will make more sense. Though admittedly I don’t hold out a great deal of hope for that, because again, Galad’s thought process just baffles me sometimes.

Those golden eyes were unsettling. He had discounted Byar’s insistence that this man was not merely a Darkfriend, but Shadowspawn. However, looking into those eyes, Galad was no longer certain he could dismiss those claims.

Come on, Galad, did no one ever teach you not to judge people by their appearance?

Like, on the one hand… okay, people he trusts have told him some pretty terrible thing about this guy, and he does have (apparently) unsettling eyes, and he didn’t deny any of the accusations Galad listed out. And confirmation bias, again, is a strong thing. It does make sense that he would be wary of Perrin, and expect him to be an enemy, to potentially be evil, and to see that at least his physical description matches what he was told so maybe the rest does, too.

It’s just frustrating.

“They would not have harmed me,” Galad said.

So you’ll believe he’s a monster, but also that you were safe?

To be fair, his reasoning for why he was safe does make sense, more or less, given what he knows and (mostly) what he assumes.

“If he is as you and Child Byar say, then he worries greatly about his image. He didn’t lead Trollocs against the Two Rivers directly. He pretended to defend them.” Such a man would act with subtlety. Galad had been safe.

Well, it makes sense if you partially discard Occam’s Razor and also fail to account for the possibility that he’s not as Bornhald and Child Byar say. Then again, if that’s true, then Galad was also safe, because Perrin’s not a monster or a threat.

Alright, fine, Galad, I’ll give you that one.

Those eyes… they were almost a condemnation by themselves.

Seriously, people, what is it with determining a person’s morality by their eye colour? You live in a world with literal magic! Sometimes weird shit happens!

And Aybara had reacted to the mention of the murdered Whitecloaks, stiffening. Beyond that, there was the talk his people gave of him in alliance with the Seanchan and having with him men who could channel.

Again, I can just about see where Galad’s coming from, and how he’s putting the pieces together, but I wish he’d stop for just a moment to consider that maybe there’s more to the story. But then, he’s hardly the only person in this series to come to not-entirely-accurate conclusions based on flawed or incomplete information. They’re all just working with what they have, and sometimes what they have is wrong, but… well, if I gave Lan’s a portion of wisdom quote to Perrin earlier, I suppose it’s only fair I grant Galad the same courtesy now. He doesn’t have perfect evidence that what he’s been told is right, but it paints a compelling enough picture, and he doesn’t have much evidence to the contrary, either.

Better to defeat this Aybara now, than to wait and face him at the Last Battle. As quickly as that, he made his decision. The right decision. They would fight.

Morgase, get over here; we need you.  

Previous (ToM ch 9)

[alj4890]

Choices September Challenge

Day 8 Storm

(Ernest Sinclaire x Clara Mills) A Choices Desire and Decorum Drabble.

A/N I think it's no secret to many of you how much I adore Regency Romances. This is my first actual Desire and Decorum drabble and after seeing the above Pride and Prejudice gif, it seemed perfect for today's prompt. This takes place near the beginning of book one. (I know this pair clears up this issue later in London, but I wanted to make it happen sooner.)

@choicesseptemberchallenge20​​​ @xjustin-ethansgirliex​ @lovealexhunt​​  @krsnlove​

Masterlist

Disheartened

"Clara?" Vincent Foredale, the Earl of Edgewater called out.

The sight of his daughter nearly running past his study alarmed him.

He heard her steps falter before returning.

Clara kept her head bowed as she answered him. "Did you need something, Father?"

He could hear the unmistakable catch in her voice.

"My dear," he came around his desk, "what troubles you?"

He gently nudged her chin up. Eyes filled with unshed tears met his.

"Forgive me." She whispered. "I need to--that is--after she--" she took a deep, shaky breath, "I am going to go for a walk."

Vincent wisely kept from asking her what had happened. At the mention of she, he knew that his Countess was the reason for his natural daughter's distress. A sense of pride rose within him that Clara wished to handle this herself.

"Very well." His glance out the window revealed dark clouds forming. "Don't stay out too long."

She pressed a grateful kiss to his cheek then dashed out the door.

Once outside, she could feel relief wash over her. Each step took her further and further from her tormentors.

How am I ever to be considered a lady when Countess Henrietta has encouraged Ms. Sutton and Ms. Bowman to point out how uneducated I am when compared to others?

If only Ms. Parsons had been there. She would have steered the conversation back to less insulting grounds.

"Oooohhh!" Clara picked up a rock and threw it with all her might at a tree, wishing it was the countess that was hit.

I will be a lady in every sense of the word if it kills me!

And at this moment, it probably will.

Unknowingly, her footsteps took her toward the division between the Edgewater estate and those of Ledford Park.

Her tears slipped down her cheeks unheeded as she wrapped her arms around herself. A chilled wind seemed bite through her muslin dress.

She thought the weather matched her mood perfectly.

A gut wrenching sob was cut off when she heard a familiar voice.

"Miss Mills?"

Clara came to an abrupt stop.

"Forgive me." Mr. Sinclaire bowed before her. "I meant, Lady Clara."

She gave a brief nod of greeting.

He searched behind her. "Are you on your own?"

Clara pressed her hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook. His simple inquiry had summed up her life.

I am on my own.

Surprisingly, her father loved her and it even seemed that her grandmother did too after such a brief acquaintance...but...they didn't know her. Not the real her. Not the one that loved to run through sun drenched meadows. Not the one who had once sang operatic songs with her mother. Not the one who's life had completely changed on the day her mother died. Discovering the identity of her father was part joyous celebration mixed with a does of complete terror.

She knew nothing of this life as a noble. It seemed impossible to learn all she needed to know to be worthy as a Lady of Edgewater.

Mr. Sinclaire stared at her sadness with growing horror. He took a step toward her, unsure what to do as her slight frame was wracked with muffled sobs.

"Miss--my lady? What can I do?" He pulled his handkerchief out and attempted to hand it to her.

Unable to stand to see her so undone, he moved closer and wiped her tears himself.

"Lady Clara, please, do not carry on so. Tell me what happened." He pleaded.

She shook her head, placing her hand on his to pause his ministrations. "It will only increase your low opinion of me, sir."

His frown firmed. "I do not have a low opinion of you. I--"

"Yes, you do." She interrupted. "From the moment we met, you looked down upon me." She sniffed, taking his handkerchief. "Just like everyone else." Her eyes met his. "I shall never escape the situation around my birth."

"You should not have to." He snapped. "Your birth is not a mark against your character. If anything," he cleared his throat. "If anything it proves how remarkable you are."

Her eyes narrowed. "Remarkable? In other words, I should be more ill mannered? Suffer from bouts of stupidity? Wickedness?"

"I never thought--"

"Oh but you did!" She stepped closer, pouring out her anger upon him. "You even referred to me as the earl's natural daughter when given my name upon introduction." Her shoulders trembled. "I could not be simply Miss Mills to you. Looking upon me, you saw nothing but my illegitimacy."

Mr. Sinclaire's lips parted, ready to deny her claims...and yet, he knew he could not.

"That, Lady Clara, is not a mark against you, but rather one on me." He said softly.

She wiped at the few tears that still fell before handing him his handkerchief back. "Be that as it may, it does not change things."

His fingers brushed hers as he took the now damp scrap of cloth.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, reminding them of where they were.

"I must go." She mumbled. "Forgive me of my unseemly behavior just now." She gave a slight curtsy before turning on her heel.

"Lady Clara!" He called out. "Please. Wait!"

"I must get home before the storm breaks." She said over her shoulder.

"My home is closer." He argued, slipping his hand under her arm. "Allow me to take you to Ledford Park and then on to Edgewater in the carriage." His tone gentled. "Please, my lady."

Clara looked up at the sky as the wind seemed to pull at the light wrap on her shoulders. "I--thank you, sir."

He took her hand and set it in the bend of his arm.

They walked in silence for a while, both lost in thought of what was said. Each held a glimmer of hope that things between them would change now that they had cleared the air.

"Oh!" Clara exclaimed when the sight of his manor came into view. "Your home is beautiful, Mr. Sinclaire."

His lips eased into a smile. "Thank you, my lady."

"I did not realize how close Edgewater is to Ledford Park." She admitted. "No wonder my grandmother said--" she clamped her mouth closed.

"The dowager said what?" He asked.

"That it is nearby." She hurriedly responded. The last thing she would want to do was reveal that her grandmother had said that Mr. Sinclaire would be an advantageous match.

If they were to marry, then Edgewater lands would then be united with his.

He gave her a dubious look over her hasty answer before calling for his carriage to be made ready.

The first few rain drops struck as they climbed in.

"We made it." Clara said with a relieved sigh.

Mr. Sinclaire sat down across from her. Uncertain how to proceed after their conversation, he cleared his throat a few times in the hope that she would set the tone.

Clara tucked a few strands of windblown hair behind her ear. "Mr. Sinclaire, I do hope that, I mean, surely we can--" she lowered her eyes. "Do you think that we might develop some sort of friendship?"

He relaxed against the cushions. "I would like that very much, my lady."

Her eyes flickered up as a smile slowly formed. "I would too."

[awfullybigwardrobe44]

Narnia Week, Day 1

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Prompt questions here!

Favorite character(s) from this book?

This will come as no surprise to you all, but my favorite character in EVERY Narnia book is Aslan <3 I’m gonna sound like a broken record saying that in every one of these posts lol.

After Aslan, Lucy. I love the sense of childlike wonder that you get with LWW seeing things through Lucy’s eyes. Throughout the series, I love her deep connection with Aslan, which begins in this book, and her love for Aslan in general. 

Shoutout also to the Beavers. They knew this old prophecy and knew that things in Narnia were changing. They were seeing a prophecy of old unfold before their very eyes. The king of Narnia, who hadn’t been seen in Narnia in at least a hundred years, probably more, had appeared, and was building an army. These 4 kids walk into Narnia, completely bewildered, and the Beavers know that these 4 kids are the future kings and queens of Narnia, destined to be part of the Witch’s defeat. 

And what do they do? They basically decide that they are their grandchildren now and adopt them. I’ve always loved the sense of informality, both in the book and movie, between the Beavers and the Pevensies. The Beavers would have KNOWN that these kids are the future rulers of Narnia, and yet they just loved on them and fiercely protected them. <3

If there is a screen adaptation of this book, what do you like most about said adaptation? Does it do the book justice? What would you change?

The Walden LWW movie is an absolute masterpiece. As far as book-to-movie adaptations go, it’s honestly one of the best I’ve ever seen. Not because it follows the book exactly, necessarily (although it does a pretty fantastic job of that), but because it really makes Narnia match just what you saw in your head when you read the books. That was Andrew’s goal in doing this movie--living up to his own childhood imagination of what Narnia was like. He knew that he had to try to top the image of Narnia that kids have when they read the books, and I think he did an absolutely beautiful job bringing that to life. I know Lewis wasn’t big on movies, but I think he’d have been beyond proud of this movie. 

The casting is absolutely perfect. The chemistry the Pevensies have as CHILD actors is amazing. Little Georgie was such a precocious little girl that I don’t think they could have cast a better Lucy for this movie, and the way she connected with others--her screen siblings, James McAvoy, etc.--is really incredible. One of my favorite Georgie moments in this movie is the moment Aslan steps out of the tent. Just the look of surprise and joy on her face... acting beyond her years. 

The entire atmosphere of this movie is incredible. It literally IS Narnia. One scene I have to talk about in particular is the battle scene. The sound editing. The FOR NARNIA AND FOR ASLAN. The acting. I get chills even thinking about it. It honestly has the feel of a battle scene from a classic movie from years before its time, it’s just so epic and touching and chilling. 

And, the music. Harry G-W. I love that man for this soundtrack, and the PC one. He really outdid himself. The battle song is amazing, but I’m partial to “Only the Beginning of the Adventure” (the title of which he very clearly took from that last line of LWW, even though it wasn’t even in the movie. Gold star for him). Years and years later I’m still listening to this soundtrack, and I will be for the rest of my life, I imagine. 

The ONLY things I’d have changed about this movie--I wish the Aslan scenes had stayed just a little bit closer to the book. For instance, I love the scene where Lucy and Susan are running around playing with Aslan after the Stone Table. That scene just has this brilliantly sunny, joyous, glorious feeling to it. For those who have read Surprised By Joy, that scene is a “signpost” for me ;) Plus, Aslan comforting Susan with a lion’s kiss when she is afraid he’s a ghost. Just. The Aslan scenes in the movie are great, but the ones in the book will always hold a special place in my heart. 

What about this book stands out most in your memory? Are there specific scenes, feelings, themes, or ideas that have stuck with you the most?

Gosh there’s so many scenes that I’m just going to list them. I love the scene of Lucy and Susan running around with Aslan at the Stone Table, as I said above.

The moment when the Pevensies and Beavers greet Aslan for the first time, and Peter is scared to say anything, but then he does, and Aslan’s voice takes the trembling out of them. I was actually just thinking last week about that quote where it says that “if they had ever thought that something couldn’t be good and terrible at the same time, they were cured of it now--” because I think that just holds such important spiritual meaning. 

A few of you already know that my favorite quote from LWW is the seagull one. I haven’t told this story before, but I guess I will here (no idea if anyone will even read this far lol). When I read that quote for the first few times, the “Oh, the cry of the seagulls! Have you heard it? Can you remember?” When I read that the first few times, I misinterpreted it. I understand now that Lewis was saying, “have you heard this before in your own life? Can you remember what that sounds like? That’s what it sounded like to them.” 

I, however, interpreted that quote as Lewis somehow saying that you, the reader, had been to Narnia before. It felt as if he was suggesting that you had been to Narnia before, and it was just around some corner in your memory, and he was telling you this story to remind you. As if you yourself had been there and witnessed the events of LWW and the coronation of the Pevensies... do you remember? Do you remember the glory of that day? Do you remember Cair Paravel? Do you remember the cry of the seagulls? It’s just around the corner of your memory--you know in your heart you’ve been there before. Do you remember? 

It feels a lot like in Dawn Treader when Lucy reads the story in the book and then can’t go back and reread it. And she asks Aslan to tell her the story again, and he responds that he will be telling it to her “forever” or something. In the way I interpreted that quote, it felt like Lewis was saying “you’ve been here before. Oh, do you remember?” And maybe that’s foolish of me for interpreting it that way, but honestly? I like that interpretation better. And to this day, that quote always sends chills down my spine for that reason. It makes it seem as if Narnia is right around the corner somewhere. 

Any memories from the first time you read this book?

So LWW is actually the only Narnia book that I have tangible memories of reading. I believe what happened is that my mom gave me the book because we were going to see the movie, and she wanted me to read it first. I believe she was afraid I’d be scared at the Stone Table scene, so she had me read up until that chapter, and then she read it to me so that if I got upset, she was there and we could talk about it and she’d know if I was scared or not. So I very clearly remember sitting in the front room at my old house reading this chapter with my mom. <3 I believe we talked about who Aslan represents that night, and about the significance of the Stone Table scene. I don’t know if that’s the night I found out that Aslan represents Jesus, but it may have been. 

If you’ve read this far, thanks for bearing with me xD Happy Narnia Day!

[kayteewritessteve]

Love and War - 14/16

Description: In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 5,800 ish.

Pairing: Medieval!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG for now. May become 18+ later.

Warnings: Violence. Curse words. Mentions of fears and potentially brutal medieval tactics. Most likely more to come down the road. Please don’t let these warnings scare you too much, give the story a try before you judge it.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader either, so I do proudly own all these errors and this story, so there’s that.

You awaken to the feeling of being jostled, before you’re laid down on a plush, yet cold surface. It feels almost like a bed, but one that has been left unused in a cold room. You shiver from the chill slowly seeping into your body, as you slowly open your eyes to peer around. To establish where exactly you are.

Last you remember, you were in your room, wrapped up in the arms of the man you loved. The man you’d just married. The man you’d get to spend your eternity with.

But now, now you are alone. Now you are laying on some cold bed, with no muscular, warm arms anywhere in sight. Which means no Ari anywhere nearby, at least as far as you can tell. He must still be speaking with Athos, and you can only imagine how that conversation is going—though conversation is probably not the proper word to use here, it would probably be more accurate to say argument. As you knew full well that it would become very heated between them the moment Ari told his father the truth. Told him you were now wed, and that the deal with Hepha would be impossible now.

You smile at the thought, both of foiling Hepha’s ridiculous plans, but also at now being able to call Ari yours. Truly and entirely yours. He belonged to you, as you belonged to him. And nothing, or no one, could stand in the way of your undying love now. It would always be just the two of you, for forever and a day.

Your eyes finally fully open, but all you see is darkness. You wait for them to adjust to the low light of your room, but they never do. And it’s after a few moments that you realize something is over your face, some soft material is blocking your sight. You go to reach up to pull, what you assume is blankets, from your face, but your arms don’t move. They don’t respond to your commands, and that—well, that just isn’t right.

You begin to panic as you clue in that you have no control or power over your own body, your own form, and that you are essentially trapped within your skin. That realization only stand to cause you more anxiety, more panic. Why can’t you move?! Where is Ari? Where are you?!

“Ah, I see she has finally awaken,” you hear a disturbing voice comment, and a chill runs down your spine at the voice. One you knew all too well.

Before you can even think about why he is here, the fabric is pulled from your head and you blink a few times to clear your panicky haze. It doesn’t take but a moment to notice you aren’t in your room anymore.

No, from the looks of it, you aren’t even in a structure of any kind. Your eyes dart around as well as they are able, what with your current paralytic state and inability to even so much as move your head. The jagged rock surfaces, looking as if they were chiseled away painstakingly, bit by bit, and entirely by hand, is all you see. You are clearly underground, or maybe in a cave of some sort.

But then your wandering eyes land on 3 shadowy forms off to the side. 2 you recognize instantly, but the 3rd, a feminine form, is new to you. You go to speak, but no words come out, your lips not even moving at all.

“Don’t try to speak,” Hepha says as he moves from the darkness and into the light. Coming towards you and you go to shrink away from him, but once again, your body remains immobile and unresponsive. As he nears you, you can’t miss the smug grin on his face, as if he is proud of himself somehow. As if he is pleased with all of this. “No words will come out, you are under a spell that has paralyzed you.”

You want to snark back at him, make some sassy comment about having already clued in to that. But once again you can’t utter a word, so you settle for a loud sigh and an eye roll, only having control over your breathing and eyes. He’ll know your true disdain for him, if it takes every ounce of strength and determination that you have within you. He’ll know you loathe him in this moment, as you wouldn’t have it any other way.

He chuckles, shaking his head, “I see you still have your spirits about you, even in your current state.”

You just glare up at him, channelling all your hatred for this, this good-for-nothing bastard, into your eyes. Hoping he’d get the message.

A movement behind Hepha catches your eye and you snap them in that direction. Seeing a strange woman and Charandas; Hepha’s loyal dog and servant, now both moving towards you. The woman’s face is neutral, calm even, and something in her eyes tells you that everything will be okay. That you are safe here and she will protect you. But you don’t understand how that is even possible, or why she is even here.

You are curious how Hepha managed to bring this woman here, how he talked her into being a part of all of this. Something about her tells you she isn’t the type to partake in kidnap or imprisonment. So he must be holding something over her, he must be threatening something she loves. And if that is true, it wouldn’t surprise you in the slightest. Hepha was a manipulative snake, through and through.

The strange woman begins to pull out weird objects from her satchel, and you study her for a moment, before your eyes snap back to Hepha. A question settling within your curious glassy orbs.

And luckily for you, the buffoon seems to recognize that, and gives you a wretched grin, “I gather you are curious as to why you’re here?” He raises a brow then glances at the woman, “and who she is, perhaps?” You go to nod, but once again nothing happens. So you just stare pointedly at him, waiting for him to go on.

He chuckles. “I’ll start with the simple question,” he gestures to the woman, “this is Medea, and she is here to do a few different things. One of those was to paralyze you, and then to put you into a deep sleep. As I can’t have you escaping on me this time, now can I?”

You just glare up at him. Millions of questions and concerns running through your head, but you can’t seem to focus on any of them. The only thing you can feel in this moment is sheer anger and unwavering fear. Both of which are clouding your mind.

“As for why you are here, there are also a few different reasons for that as well, but the main ones being that you lied to me. You’ve made a fool of me, Y/N, and I can not allow that to stand. Aasira does not love me, she does not love anyone. You tricked me into believing she did, and for that you will pay.”

His hands move to clasp behind his back, as he begins to slowly pace. You can only intermittently see him, as his slow wandering brings him back to your line of sight, before he disappears again. Only to reappear a moment later. This goes on for a moment before he speaks again, his voice dripping with sheer anger and venom, “and because I overheard Alarick,” he spits the name out like spoilt milk on his tongue, “telling Athos about your little union. About how you both went behind everyone’s backs to secretly wed.” He abruptly stops pacing and leans towards you menacingly, “you think some stupid piece of parchment will stop me from obtaining what I desire most? The one thing I have yearned for above all else?”

He laughs loudly, standing back up as his head tips back, “if you truly do believe that, then you are more of a fool than I thought.” He shakes his head then his eyes meet yours, “I will stop at nothing to destroy the love between Alarick and you. He doesn’t deserve you, he doesn’t deserve to be happy. I have, and will always, love you more than he ever could. He will never care for you as I do.”

You narrow your eyes at him, this man truly is an utter buffoon. Taking someone against their will isn’t ‘love’, stealing them away in the night and bringing them to a desolate place such as this, is not ‘caring’ for someone. It’s kidnap, it’s deceit. He doesn't love you, he is a lunatic if he truly believes this is love. That this is how you show your feelings for another.

Why can’t he see this is madness?! That you don’t love him and you never will! That you love Alarick, and only Alarick, and that will never change. No matter how ridiculous his ploys become. Ari is your one true love, he is your everything, for eternity.

He is pacing again, his voice still oozing malice and spite. “I was so angered by your actions, by your betrayal, that I came up with this little plan. One that would effectively kill two birds with one stone, so to speak,” he abruptly stops pacing, his hands unclasping from behind his back to gesture around the dimly lit space, “I will imprison you within this cave, and keep you and Alarick from each other. He will live out his days searching for his true love,” he spits venomously, “unable to rest, unable to so much as breathe without you. He will crumble, he will wither away, he will become a shell of the man he once was. And that will be my revenge on him. He will spend his entire life endless wandering, hopelessly hunting for you. But he will never find you, and will instead be left entirely alone and miserable. Which, in my eyes, is all he deserves.”

He chuckles, a zestful sound to match the joyous smile now upon his lips, as if that image of Alarick brings him great comfort. Allows him sheer happiness in this moment.

He looks down at you once again, his calloused hand coming up to caress your cheek. The feeling of his disgusting hand upon you, makes you sick. Makes you want to cringe away from him, puke and smack him, all at the same time. You are utterly revolted by the contact, the only man who should ever lay a hand on you, is Alarick. And if he knew of this, of this bastards hands upon your skin, he’d be on a warpath, a complete rampage. He’d be truly out for blood.

“Now that just leaves the final reason as to why I’ve chosen to imprison you here, my love.” Those two words leaving his chapped lips only stand to disgust you further. “I refuse to share you with another, I refuse to lose you to that, that beast. I will hide you here, in this place, where I may visit you whenever I so please. Where you will belong to only me. My most prized possession for which only my eyes may gaze upon. You will be only mine, forever.”

He glances over his shoulder, ushering the strange woman forward with a movement of his fingers. She quickly scurries to the other side of you, picking up your left hand and clasping it tightly within her own. Though not tight enough to hurt, just enough to have a firm grip on it. Then she closes her eyes and begins to chant, the words foreign to you, sounding as if she is speaking in tongues.

After a few moments of this, your heart pounding hard against your rib cage, like a galloping horses hooves against the ground, your eyelids become heavy. You try to fight to keep them open, but the immense weight now upon them slowly begins to win out. You start to lose the battle as they flutter for a moment, before all that is left is darkness. Is a black void for which you are now trapped.

The final thing you feel is complete and utter hopelessness, and the crippling fear that Alarick won’t find you, that he will not be victorious in rescuing you this time. You prey he can find peace with this, that he can move on from the loss of you. That should he never track you down, should he never set eyes upon your skin ever again, that he can come to terms with that. That he can learn to live without you.

Those thoughts break your heart, but true love is hoping with all hope that the one you adore is alive, is happy with their life, and content in its outcomes. Even if the cost of that is your own wellbeing, even if the price is your own heart, happiness, and future. You want nothing more than for them to be settled, to be happy, to be truly okay.

Ari’s face, the last image you see as the darkness finally consumes you, swallowing you whole.

“My Lady,” you hear a frantic whispered voice attempting to pull you from the dark. “You must open your eyes, My Lady.”

You groan, your eyes slowly fluttering open, feeling as though they are currently being held down by some invisible force. They finally open fully and take a second to adjust to the low light, before they settle on an unfamiliar face leaning over yours.

“My Lady,” she whispers hastily, “I haven’t much time, but I need to tell you something of grave importance. And you must remember these next words entirely,” she glances around the space quickly before her eyes lock with yours. “I have made a talisman from your ring,” she holds up a beautiful ring in front of you. One you’ve never seen before, but yet she claims is yours. “It is the key to all of this, My Lady. It will unlock everything. When you finally rise, you must put it on, it will give you all that has been stolen from you. It will return all that is lost.”

You furrow your brows at her cryptic words, your eyes moving from the ring in her hands, to glance around the dark unfamiliar space. Where the Gods are you?! And who is this strange woman?!

She chuckles quietly, “I am Medea, My Lady.”

Your eyes snap back to her, seeing a sweet yet sad smile upon her lips. Did she just—How does she know what you’re thinking?!

“I can hear your thoughts,” she whispers. “You will escape this place one day, but until then, I promise you will be safe here. This is all part of the prophecy, Fate has chosen this path for you. It was set in stone long before my time, and will play out exactly as it should, long after I am gone. You will see, all will be made right in the end. But you must remember this ring, My Lady, you must replace it to it’s rightful spot upon your finger. Heed my words, this ring is the key to it all.”

Why are you doing this?! Why am I here?!

“Because the Fates have decided upon it, because this is as it should be. All will come into the light one day, all will be made known to you in due time.” She smiles, but you can tell it’s forced, “even if Hepha had not sought me out and threatened my life, or the lives of my children, I would have been here. As this is my destiny, my part in Fates plan, and I’ve known it all along. I always knew he would come, and that his arrival would be my undoing.” She sighs, “though even with that said, can you promise me one thing. Just to ease a dying woman’s mind.”

You furrow your brows again, and attempt to slowly nod but nothing happens. Your head doesn’t move, not even slightly. Promise you what, exactly?

“I knew this would all come to pass many moons ago, that this is how my life would end. But a mother's love is unwavering, it is unbreakable, and even with the knowledge of all that is to pass, I still need to hear the words. To know without any shadow of a doubt that they will be okay.”

What do you mean? Who will be? Your children?

“Yes, my children,” she sighs, tears now forming in her eyes. “Promise me you will look out for them. Promise me you will love them.”

You stare at her for a moment, completely and totally lost. Where will you be? Why do you need me to promise this to you?

“I will be long gone from this place.” She glances up at the rocky roof wistfully, as if to look to the sky, “somewhere near yet far.” Her eyes drop back down to meet yours, “and I just need to know they will be okay, that someone will watch out for them, will truly love them. And who more fitting than you, My Lady,” she gestures to you.

Who are your children? Where will I find them? How will I find them?

“You won’t find them, they will find you, when the time is right,” she grasps your hand tightly. “Please, promise me they will be safe with you?”

I don’t know if I can promise that. I don’t even know who I am, or where I am. How can I make a promise to you that I can’t possibly keep. How can I vow to keep them safe, when I have no idea what the future will hold for me.

“I know what it will hold,” she nods and squeezes your hand gently. “They will rescue you one day, but you must promise to watch out for them once they do.”

Okay, I promise I will do everything in my power to keep them safe. To love them. And to watch out for them.

She is about to speak, when the sound of rocks crumbling halts her. Her whole body becomes rigid and unmoving for a moment, before she leans down and whispers, “sleep now, My Lady. And thank you for allowing this old woman one final moment of peace before her end. But please remember, the ring is the key to all of this. You must find it and put it on once you wake, it will be hidden somewhere within this cave. Find it. Return it to it’s rightful place. And follow your Fate chosen destiny.”

Okay, I will, Medea. I promise.

She smiles one last time at you, before your world begins to slip into darkness. Your eyes feeling heavy, and the only thought running through your mind is your promise, and the image of the ring you will need to find once you awaken.

And then, all is just never-ending blackness. A void of nothingness that’s clouded in utter silence.

“Y/N!”

“Oh Gods, Y/N please wake up!”

“What’s wrong with her? Why isn’t she responding?”

“How should I know?!”

Your eyes snap open, as your body lunges up from your laying down position. You hear gasps around you as your eyes adjust to the low lighting. You frantically search the space, as the hazy forms around you begin to morph into people. Not just people but your friends, your family.

As they come fully into focus, you see the worried and startled expressions now written all over their faces.

“The ring is the key to all of this,” you whisper, going to stand but your limbs are wobbly and tingly.

Sam quickly grabs hold of you, “slowly, Y/N. Nice and slow.” He helps you stand, holding you up for a moment while you regain your balance and control.

After a few moments you feel okay, and give him a nod, “thank you, Sam, I believe I can stand on my own now.”

He looks hesitant, but reluctantly releases you. His hands staying close just in case you start to plummet to the floor again.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asks as she moves in front of you and her eyes assess your whole form, as if to see if you’re hurt. “How do you feel?”

You think it over for a moment, then respond truthfully, “I feel fine. A little hazy, but normal.”

“Oh thank the Gods,” Pietro sighs deeply, as he engulfs you in a hug, causing you to chuckle softly. He pulls back after a moment, “you had us really worried there for a moment, Y/N.”

You glance around at the others, “what happened?”

“You just passed out. We have no idea why,” Wanda tells you.

“You touched the glass coffin and just dropped,” Sam adds, worry still prominent in his voice.

You nod, your eyes now scanning the room, “I remember being brought here.” You look to Wanda and Pietro, “I made a promise to someone. One I fully intend to keep, now that I can actually remember it.”

They both nod slowly, glancing at each other before turning back to you. And you can’t miss the confused looks on both their faces now.

You take a few shaky steps, Sam directly behind you, his hands out as if to catch you should you fall. Your eyes continue to search the dark space, glancing to Natasha as you reach a hand out to her, “may I borrow that?”

She furrows her brows as she looks down to the torch in her hand, then passes it to you. “Thanks,” you smile and begin to move around the space. Checking the small dark crevasses thoroughly as you do.

“What exactly are you looking for?” Natasha asks as the four of them follow closely behind you.

You don’t turn to them, keeping your eyes focus on searching. “The ring.”

“The ring?” Wanda asks slowly, sounding utterly confused.

“Yes, it is the key to all of this,” you nod.

“Should we be searching for this ring as well?” Sam asks.

“If you could,” you finally glance back, smiling at him. “It is vital that we find it. It will unlock everything.” Then your eyes return to scouring the dark areas, “you can’t miss it, it will have a large moonstone in it.”

He furrows his brows, but nods. Him and Natasha then move to the other side of the space, and begin searching. Thankfully they both have exceptional night vision, meaning you can keep the torch for your own search efforts. Wanda and Pietro then join you, searching the areas along with you. As the light hits new spots, the three of you thoroughly check them for anything that stands out, that resembles a ring.

A few moments later, a small twinkle catches your eye. You quickly make your way towards it, lowering yourself down and holding the light up to the area. The light hits something and causes it to glimmer and shine. You reach your hand into a small crevice, your fingers grazing something small and cold. Something not made from this place, a foreign material. One that feels very much like metal.

You stretch your fingers as far as you can, finally grasping the small object and pulling it out from it’s hiding place. The others are surrounding you now, having noticed you crouching down to retrieve something.

You hold it in your hand, staring down at it for a moment. It looks exactly as it had in your memory, only now more weathered and tarnished. The others stand around you, looking at the ring now sitting atop your open palm.

You hand Natasha the torch before you move to place the ring on your finger, but a gentle hand grasps yours and prevents you from continuing the action. You look up to see Wanda staring back at you. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Y/N?”

“What if this is all just some elaborate trick?” Sam asks.

“Or what if this causes you to fall into another deep sleep?” Pietro adds.

You turn to Natasha, who hasn’t spoken a word yet. She is looking intently at the ring, as if she recognizes it but yet doesn’t. Her eyes flick up to yours and you can see the confusion in them. The conflict. “Part of me wants to agree with the other. To think logically here,” she starts, her eyes dropping back to the ring in your hand. “But something else tells me that ring means so much more than any of us can even fathom. That it stands for so much more.” She shakes her head, as if trying to joggle a memory loose, “that it was made in the name of love, and that fact alone will never allow it to harm you, to deceive you, or to steer you wrong.” She locks eyes with you again, “I think you should put it on.”

“What?” Sam gasps, eyes wide as he spins to look at Natasha. “You’re just going to go along with this? You’ve never even seen this ring before in your life, how do you know it won’t harm her?!”

She shrugs, “I don’t, but my instincts tell me it won’t, and I always trust my gut.” She looks at the ring again, “But I do think I have seen it before, I just can’t remember it.” She sighs, shaking her head again, “it sounds ridiculous, I know. But I’m positive I’ve laid eyes on this ring before. It’s like I recognize it, yet I don’t.”

Her eyes meet yours and you smile, nodding that you understand what she means then you look between Wanda and Pietro. “She was right, you did end up finding me. You did end up rescuing me. And even though I had forgotten her words, I somehow managed to keep my promise to her.”

They both furrows their brows. “Who?” They ask in unison.

“Medea. Your mother,” you whisper, glancing up at the rocky roof just as she had. As if you could see her up there, looking down on you all and watching. “I made her a promise that I intend to keep.”

Wanda gasps, her hand releasing yours as it moves to cover her mouth. “How did you,” she begins to murmur but trails off as your eyes drop back down to meet hers.

“You knew her?” Pietro asks softly. “How is that even possible?”

You flick your eyes to his and give him a small, unsure smile, “I don’t know how it’s possible. But she was here,” you glance around, “in this cave. She came to me, and told me of the ring. She made me promise to watch out for you both, to love you both.” You nod once, “and that is why I need to do this,” you say determinedly as you quickly push the ring onto your finger, before anyone else can even attempt to stop you again.

And instantly your head pounds, you gasp as you clench your eyes shut and your hands move to your temples. The immense pain ripping through you is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. The throbbing causes you to cry out in agony as your legs buckle and you collapse to the floor. Landing heavily on your knees as you lean forward, your fingers digging into your skin in any attempt to rid your skull of the intense and immeasurable pain coursing through it. The feeling of millions of tiny knives slicing and cutting away at your brain, at your mind.

Memories begin to return to you at a rapid pace. Images, feelings, emotions and sounds all coming back to you in chunks and pieces. All slowly forming full stories, entire recounts of past moments in your life. It feels as if you are the sand, and your memories are the oceans unrelenting waves continuously crashing down upon you.

You grit your teeth, your lids scrunching together tighter as you attempt to endure this agony for as long as you can. You pray you can take this all, you hope you can survive this torture. That you can just hold on long enough for it to all be over. For it to be finished.

After what feels like an eternity, the pain finally subsides. It finally ends. And you take a few deep shaky breaths, your hands drop from your head and land on the cold ground, as you lean forward and allow yourself a moment of reprieve. A few seconds to just breath.

You finally open your eyes, pushing yourself back up to rest in your folded legs. The two Lycan’s both look even more concerned than they had before, they have this strange helpless look in their eyes and you instantly realize Wanda and Pietro are seating on the ground as well. Both on their folded knees just like you. Both have the same dazed, yet aware look on their faces that you are sure resembles your own features in this moment.

A silence falls over the cave as you just glance between the 2 siblings, taking them in, in an entirely new light now. As they both do the same, just staring right back at you.

Sam is the first to speak up, “okay, what the hell was that!?”

You chuckle as you look up at him, seeing his furrowed brows as he also glances between the three of you now seated on the floor. Before you can say a word, Wanda pipes up, “Do you remember everything too?”

You smile at her, nodding, “I do. I remember everything and more now.”

You go to try to stand, Wanda and Pietro noticing and quickly jumping up to help you. “Here, My Lady. Let us help you,” Pietro says politely as he gently grasps one of your arms, Wanda taking the other as they softly pull you up to stand.

“Just because we all have our memories back, doesn’t change anything,” you sweetly scold him. “I am, and always will be just Y/N to you both. Got it?”

They both nod, softly saying, “yes,” in unison.

“Good. So none of this ‘My Lady’ crap. I didn’t like it before I got my memories back, and I still don’t like it now,” you grin at them.

“Alright,” Sam starts, drawing all the attention back to him, “can somebody please explain what the hell is going on? What did you all just remember?!”

The fiery redhead across from you sighs loudly at Sam’s interruption. “You’re always so damned impatient,” she says as she rolls her eyes, and an involuntary smile breaks out upon your lips at the action. You can’t seem to tear your eyes away from her, giving her a full assessing once over. It had been too long.

He glares at her, playfully, “oh, and you aren’t even the least bit curious as to what we just witnessed?”

She crosses her arms and glares right back at him, though hers isn’t playful. You know that for a fact. “Of course I am, but I also know we will find out eventually. When the time is right. As I actually have this thing called patience.”

He scoffs, shaking his head then turns to you again with curious, questioning eyes.

You chuckle at him, “you’ll know soon enough, Sam. But right now, we all have to get back to the castle. There is something I urgently need to attend to. I promise I’ll explain everything once that is finished, but this can’t wait any longer.” You turn on your heel and begin to make your way out of the cave, hearing 4 sets of footsteps following behind you as you do.

You exit the hidden passageway and step back out into the dazzling light of the setting sun. The sky a beautiful array of blues, purples and pinks.

“Wait,” you feel a hand grip your upper arm, turning to see the feisty redhead now behind you, her eyes scanning the forest's edge.

“What is it?” You ask, turning to look in the same direction she is, and a gasp leaves your lips when you see what she does.

Men. So many men. All now emerging from the dense tree line, and coming to stand along it’s edge, with weapons in hand.

“Thank you for returning her to me,” a booming voice shouts and your eyes snap over to see Hepha, standing in the middle of the vast line of warriors and mercenaries. “If you leave her here and go, none of you will be harmed. You are severely outnumbered, so I’d recommend you don’t do anything foolhardy.”

Two deep, menacing growls rip from behind you as you are pulled back and pushed behind them both. Wanda and Pietro also tucked protectively behind the two larger bodies, along with you.

“Like hell we will leave her behind,” the redhead yells back, then side eyes Sam as she quickly whispers, “Sam, get them back to the castle. Now!”

“What, and leave all the fun to you?” He scoffs.

“Don’t argue with me right now, Samuel. I’ll hold them off for a bit, while you all get away, and then I will be right behind you,” she snaps back at him.

“You can’t be serious,” he gapes at her. “You can’t take all of them on by yourself!”

“I can,” she affirms. “Now get them out of here! I won’t be far behind you.”

He is about to argue with her, but you desperately need to get back to the castle. You can’t let Hepha get anywhere near you, nor prevent you from finishing all of this once and for all. You need to reach the King, you need to tell him the whole truth. You now know exactly where Alarick is hiding, where he is currently waiting for you, and now you just need to figure out how to reach him.

You grab Sam’s arm and forcefully turn him to face you. “Sam! We have to go. She will be fine, I promise you that. She is more than able to hold her own, trust me, I know exactly what she is capable of. Now you need to shift, you have to get us back to the castle. There is no time to argue.”

He stares at you for a second then nods, “okay, fine. But once I shift I won’t be able to talk to you, so I’ll lower down and then you all have to climb on and hold on tight to my fur. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt me. And whatever you do, don’t let go.”

“Shift?” Wanda asks quietly, to no one in particular. And you instantly realize that the siblings have no idea about the fact that the whole kingdom of Winterbourne consists entirely of Lycan’s. This is going to be a little intense for them both, but you don’t have time to explain everything in detail to them right now. They will just have to trust you.

You nod quickly at Sam, “okay, got it. You’ll need to send word to,” you hesitate for a second, “Steve that we are coming. Now shift!”

He nods then leaps into the air, handing gracefully on all fours, the shiny fur of his beautiful chocolate brown wolf glistening in the setting sunlight. You’ve never seen a more enchanting creature in your life—well, aside from the King’s golden wolf.

Wanda gasps loudly at the sight and you turn quickly to look at them. “I don’t have the time to explain any of this right now. But Sam won’t hurt either of you, and we will need to ride him back to the castle. I just need you both to trust me on this, I’ll explain more when this is all over.”

They both tear their eyes away from Sam’s giant wolf and look to you, taking a deep breath before they both nod shakily. You nod back then turn to focus on Sam, just as he lowers himself down. “Okay, hop on,” you instruct them, “and grab his fur tightly, it won’t hurt him.”

They both nod again and then the three of you quickly climb onto his back, adjusting and grabbing firm holds on his fur. You glance back at Wanda and Pietro, “ready?” They both nod one last time and then you quickly say, “alright, go Sam! We are good up here!”

And just like that, he takes off like a bat out of hell. The trees and shrubs zipping past you at an alarming rate, you didn’t realize until this exact moment just how fast Lycan’s could actually move. Sam expertly maneuvers between trees and bushes, over rocks and fallen trees, every step is calculated and precise. As if he can predict every upcoming obstacle and the exact movement it will take to get around it. Like he is watching it all in slow motion. It’s truly awe inspiring to witness first hand, and if you weren’t so preoccupied with reaching the safety of the castle, you may have put more interest into just watching how he moves so gracefully in his wolf form.

But right now, all you can think about is getting away from Hepha, reaching the King, and then finally locating and reuniting with your one true love, your husband, your world, your Ari.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@caps-lockdown @tfandtws @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @casuallydarktiger @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @steeeeverogers @zombiepotterfour @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @alagalaska @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @interstellarmess @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @wordlesscaptain @captain-hammer-of-asgard @starstucknature @viarogers @pixieferry @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @capsicledoll @givemehopenfandoms @pretendingandpreposterous @frozen-phoenix17 @emotionallysalty @atomicsludgedonutbiscuit @saturngirlz @ivannagotthebeat @bohemian-barbie @marvelous-capsicle @ivoryhazlewood @steverogersxreader @cjhorseback @secondstar2disney @jessiedaeum @betsynodak @sister-of-stars @wiserebelpartypie @patzammit

[ticklishraspberries]

Freckles (Christine/Jeremy, The SQUIP Squad)

Summary: Over the summer, Jeremy gets a bunch of freckles. Christine has to explore this. (I wrote a fic inspired by the prompt for this art by the lovely and talented @ticklishfanart!! We didn’t actually collab, we just used the same prompt, so the fic and art may not exactly match up, but oh well, I hope y’all enjoy this anyway, and please go show ticklishfanart some love as well for her art!!)

It was the summer before senior year, and Jeremy was ecstatic to be spending it doing more than just getting stoned in Michael’s basement.

Sure, there would probably be no crazy house parties, because they were all still shaken up from Halloween, but there were chances for something a little different than replaying levels of Apocalypse of the Damned.

Christine went to theatre camp for the first few weeks of the summer, and Jeremy was embarrassed to admit how much he missed her.

However, he still had Michael, and Rich, Jake, Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna to take his mind off it all.

Yes, there was still a good deal of smoking and playing video games, but there were also bonfires in Brooke’s backyard, a few trips to the beach, and Chloe hosting them all for a barbecue.

It was the most time Jeremy had spent in the sun in probably years, and his skin was beginning to show it.

He got burnt at the first beach outing, but soon healed and left him with a slight tan to his normally pale skin, but the part that surprised him the most was the colony of freckles that had appeared all over the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, and his shoulders.

“You look so cute!” Brooke had exclaimed when they first appeared, poking his nose sweetly.

He flushed up to the tips of his ears. “Thanks,” he replied shyly.

Michael was taking great offense to the whole thing. “How did I never know you get freckles? Twelve years of friendship, and I didn’t know?”

“Neither did I!” Jeremy defended. “I guess I’ve never been in the sun this much.”

“Yeah, that’s actually a pretty fair point. I doubt you were getting much sun on my couch the past few summers.”

Rich, who was naturally already quite freckled himself, kept calling Jeremy his twin, and Chloe whined about how she wished she had such cute freckles, and how the ones she attempted to draw on with makeup never looked quite right.

But the person who seemed the most obsessed with Jeremy’s new feature was Christine, returning from theatre camp with a slight tan of her own, thought it was less drastic on her already darker skin.

“Oh my gosh, you have freckles!” she all but squealed when she pulled away from their hug, cupping his face in her hands. “How did you manage to get even cuter when I was away?”

Jeremy blushed, a shy grin spread across his face before he leaned in to kiss her quickly, having missed the softness of her lips, the taste of her chapstick, and of course, everything else about her as well.

A friendly outing amongst the whole squad led to a stolen moment alone between them. Rich and Jake had gone to see what would happen if Rich pushed Jake’s wheelchair down the boardwalk ramp (and, of course, Michael had joined them to film the ridiculous debacle that was sure to take place). Chloe, Brooke, and Jenna had gone off to find an open bathroom, praying they wouldn’t have to squat under the boardwalk like last time, which left Christine and Jeremy sat on a bench, the sounds of their friend’s shouts and laughs echoing in their ears as they hugged each other close, the chill ocean air making goosebumps rise over Christine’s arms.

“You’re warm,” she mumbled, snuggling closer to Jeremy.

“It’s all the blood flow,” he replied. “Wait, that sounded wrong, I meant because I’m blushing, not—”

Christine snorted. “I know what you meant, silly boy!”

He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Somehow, even when it felt like he was royally fucking up, Christine could make him feel on top of the world.

“Oh, you even have freckles on your arms!” she cried excitedly, reaching out to run her fingers over the little dots that covered his forearms.

Her light touch sent shivers down his spine, and goosebumps rose over his skin.

Either Christine didn’t notice his overdramatic reaction, or she took it as a sign to continue, and Jeremy slowly began to relax under her gentle caresses.

Her fingers trailed up his arm to his shoulder where, poking out of his shirt collar, another smattering of freckles had formed.

But instead of the subtle, tingly feeling he had before, a laugh escaped his lips and his head snapped down to his shoulder to protect his neck, overwhelmed by the ticklish shock it sent through him.

“Sorry!” Christine said. “I didn’t mean to startle you!”

“Nonono, it’s okay!” Jeremy said immediately. “It just...Well, it just tickled, that’s all.”

Christine grinned. “Oh, that’s right. I must have forgotten how ticklish you are while I was away.”

Jeremy flushed all the way down his neck, a nervous giggle slipping from his mouth.

“You know, I think you might have gotten more ticklish while I was away. I remember your neck being bad, but not this bad….Did our friends not wreck you enough while I was away?”

Oh, they absolutely had, for her information, but he knew no matter what his answer was, she was still likely going to tickle him regardless. Anticipation flooded him, leaving his nerves tingling and alight, a permanent smile stretched across his face, laughter ready to burst from him at a single touch.

Damn, he had missed this too.

“I guess I have to run a few tests now to see if you’ve gotten more sensitive!” she declared, mischief twinkling in her deep brown eyes.

“You’ll have to catch me first,” he replied boldly, standing up to take off.

Christine gasped indignantly, chasing after him, but her short legs were no match for her lanky boyfriend.

“Truce!” she whined, stopping to catch her breath.

Jeremy eyed her suspiciously, but when she pouted back at him, his heart melted. He made his way back over to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She giggled softly, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes innocently. “Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“Guess what.”

“What?”

Getting up on her tiptoes, Christine leaned close to his ear and whispered, “I lied.”

And before Jeremy could even process what she had said, her lips were against his neck, blowing a raspberry against his skin, and her fingers quickly found his sides.

A shriek of laughter escaped him, loud enough to alert all the night-time joggers and drunk teenagers on the beach of his untimely death by tickle torture, at the hands of his own girlfriend.

“Noho fair! You tricked me!”

“It’s all in the name of science, Jer!”

“Screw science!”

It wasn’t until the two of them stumbled backward into the sand that Christine halting her ticklish assault, the two of them dissolving into a new fit of joyous laughter.

“Why are you two laying in the sand?” Michael asked, eyebrows quirked.

“Yeah, did we interrupt something?” Rich asked with a wink.

Jeremy and Christine exchanged a look. It wasn’t just Jeremy who deserved a taste of Christine’s evil, right?

Rich saw the glint in her eyes and took of running.

Jeremy was glad to have his girlfriend back, as well as his best friend, and his new group of amazing people to spend his last high school summer with.

[l1ana]

Dating Peter Parker while being Eddies' younger sister would include...

Dedicated to @gaynessnyoom for giving me this idea tysm bb

———

You had moved in with Eddie, claiming that you needed a place to crash at for some time

Which was odd since you were in college

Whatever, Eddie loved you with his entire being. Obviously, he let you in without hesitation

To be quite frank, he was getting tired of being alone accompanied with a blood hungy parasite every day

You staying at his place clearly made days much more brighter

You both loved exchanging stories about one another during your time apart and laughed it up

When Venom came into the picture, things didn't really change much besides you and him having constant arguments on which sort of sweets were better

Venom made an oath at the moment he saw you to protect you from whatever harm may come your way with the same amount of force that he protects Eddie with

They both loved you like a daughter — In spite of Eddie being your older brother

Your pictures of different monuments and various attractions served as good fuel for his career

Photography was your more proficient skill

One day while you were walking around the city, snapping a few pics, you saw it— Or rather, him

Spider-man, the hero of Queens

Lounging in an alleyway, sat in a hammock made of spiderwebs with a pair of headphones on

His red and blue color pallet immediately caught your eyes and you took a picture with no second thoughts

While you were fawning over catching a picture of someone so famous, the camera flash had caused the spandex-attired male to turn in your direction

Oh dear how he felt his heartbeat speed up three times than usual

Good lord you were a goddess in his eyes

He was stammering and tripping over his own words, unable to get anything out

There goes his spiderman charm

“So you're the real deal, huh?” You asked, stepping into the alleyway while looking up at him

“M-mhm, yup. In the flesh— whoa!” He stood up in his hammock but immediately lost balance, slipping and falling into the dumpster besides you. His head popped up from the pile of garbage bags

“More like in the spandex...” A gag came from your lips. “...And rotten foods.” You giggled, plucking a half-eaten banana from off his head

‘Im in love’ He thought then and there

From that point on, a beautiful relationship formed between you and Spiderman, the both of you meeting up in secluded areas of the city and exchanging joyous words every day

The time you and his geeky self -aka Peter Parker- met up was when you and Eddie paid a visit to the Bugle, in search for some juicy news to cover and report on

Peter had intentionally bumped into you in hopes to start up any sort of small talk. It was then that he found out that you wanted to dig deeper into Spidermans background and find out more about him

He promised to take you out, claiming that he had some “interesting spots that Spiderman likes to hang out at”

Of course, you took his words and set off with him

Eddie and Venom were definitely cautious of Peter

‘We should bite his head off.’ “Venom, no.” ‘What if he takes advantage of her?’ “He seems like a nice guy. Besides, [Name] can take care of herself.” ‘He's checking her out, Eddie.’ “...” ‘Exactly.’

Eddie sighed, speaking up to call your name. “Hey, uh, [Name],” You whipped your head around, grabbing Peters hand to stop him from walking off without you. “Yeah? What's up?” Eddie sighed again, probably anticipating you to feel offense to what he said: “I know that you're, uh, grown and all but... Y'know, be safe out there. Don't wander into the unknown, kay?” But instead you laughed at him in the most innocent way possible. “Don't worry, don't worry. I can stand my own.” And smiled so brightly it made his worries wash away.

And just like that, you were gone

‘We should follow them’ “Can you not? I'd like to respect her privacy as a grown woman, thank you very much.”

Sightseeing new places was definetly checked off of your bucket list

Peter practically dragged you everywhere he found to be a great site for dates

Yes, he was trying to find a way to turn this into a date

And yes, he was worried on whether you'd catch on to it or not

Most of the places he went to, he was commonly known in

“Hey Peter, who's the lucky girl?”

Que the blushing nerd

“She's, uh, new in town. I'm just taking her to some places Spiderman likes to stop by to. A-also, we're just aqquantices.”

“Haha, yeah. Well try not to confuse where the line ends at, okay?”

You and him were pretty much already talked about to be a couple

It was extremely embarassing for Peter, whilst you displayed no problem with what they were saying

Soon enough, you earned a spot in the Bugle as a worker, right in the same position as Peter

“[Name]? Wh-what are you-” “Guess who found a new job?~” He swore his heartbeat could be heard from miles away

You and Peter poking fun at one another

When he first grew the balls and finally asked you on a date, your affirmation had him absolutely ecstatic

Him taking you to one of the places he told you that his alter-ego liked to hang out at, which to say was spotted at a high-up place where you could see the city sparkle beautifully

“D-dude... This is awesome...!” “Not as awesome as you.” Peter would whisper under his breath, to which you'd clocked your head round and ask him to repeat what he said. “Nothing.” He replied with a sweat

A devious grin grew on your face. “Peeeeeettteeerr~” You sang. At that moment, the brunet knew he was screwed. “You like me don't you?”

Welp

Time to jump off the building and hopefully land into another dumpster ans roll away never to be seen again

“I-I-I mean, well, I guess if you mean by having a strong sense of attraction towards you then... M-maybe I...” “Awww, you totally do~” You have him a quick peck on the lips, then ruffling his hair. “Well, I like you more so don't start thinking that I don't!” Poor boy fainted on the spot

Eddie and Venom getting a tad bit worried of you whenever you claimed you were going out late at night

‘Where is she going?’ “To mind her own business, much like you should be doing.”

Most of the time when you did do so, you'd be skipping to Peters apartment

q̶u̶i̶c̶k̶ r̶e̶m̶i̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ a̶n̶d̶ p̶e̶t̶e̶ a̶r̶e̶ a̶d̶u̶l̶t̶s̶, l̶i̶k̶e̶ i̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ 1̶9̶s̶

Whenever Eddie heard you enter the apartment at such a late time at night, he'd just start fearing that you would walk right back out

He loved you so much and really didn't want to see you leave his life again

The concern on his face when he'd found out you brought your own appartment room had mortified you

“You're honestly... Gonna go?”

“Oh chill out Ed. I'm just down the street, okay? Nothing bad is gonna happen to your little sister so quit whining.” You'd reassure with a light kiss on his forehead. “You too, Venom. I know you're worried about me and as flattering as that is I'd appreciate it if you saw me capable to take care of myself, thanks.”

Of course, you paid visits to them every now and then just so that neither would get this feeling of loneliness again

Peter helped spruce up your apartment room with some of his own decor

“You sure this okay?” “Of course, I've always wanted a part of me inside you—” He mentally slapped himself to stop something he knew was inevitable. “I-I-I mean, like, I uh.... I...”

Quick and steamy makeout sessions to stop his stammering

Very gentle™ when having sex

Like, neither of you are virgins and are aware of what goes on during intercourse but still

Also, he made sure to put a condom on so dw

Remember kids: You can't make love without a glove

Don't be a fool, cover your tool

Don't be silly and wrap your willy-

You loved running your fingers into his hair w̶h̶i̶l̶e̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶a̶r̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶d̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ i̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶s̶ w̶i̶t̶h̶ h̶i̶s̶ d̶i̶c̶k̶ because of how soft and curly they were

Apparently he was sensitive to you tugging his hair cuz the moment you did he was melting into your body

G̶u̶e̶s̶s̶ w̶h̶o̶ f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ a̶ w̶a̶y̶ t̶o̶ t̶u̶r̶n̶ P̶e̶t̶e̶r̶ P̶a̶r̶k̶e̶r̶ i̶n̶t̶o̶ a̶ s̶u̶b̶?

Eddie would drop by your job sometimes just to check in on you, and would usually catch you in mid-talk with Peter

‘Is this the guy she's been going out late at night with?' “Can you at least try to be supportive of her decisions?” ‘You're worried for her... WE'RE worried for her.’

He always came in unnoticed and left unnoticed, much to his relief because he didn't want to seem like a stalker in your eyes

When you finally decided to let both Eddie and Venom into your house, they had devoured a quarter of your food that was meant to be for Peter for tomorrows dinner

Not like you told him that you and Peter were a thing

“We're sorry for eating all your food...” “It's okay. I understand. We all get hungry sometimes.”

Later that same night after Peter dropped by, you both setteled for pizza with a side of takeout

“So do I wanna know about the how, where and why a majority of your food is gone?”

“No,” You took a bite of your pizza “No you do not.”

Romcoms were tonights theme

“Do you think we'll ever be like those guys on TV?” “Peter, we're even better than them.”

Smothering him in smooches whenever he's feeling down

Lots of snuggles

Always coming through the fire escape part of his apartment and greeting him from there

Too bad big brother Venom and Eddie were stalking you

“When were you going to tell us about your male companion?” A familiar voice asked as you unlocked your apartment door and walked in, the lights clicking on

Oh fuck

Okay I've reached the limit, time to make a part 2

[owls-and-potions]

The Note

Ship: Draco Malfoy x reader

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff

Requested By: @sassy-spork-and-housplantsa>​

Hey, thanks for the request! Honestly, I’ve re-blogged 2 prompt lists so I was just like a tad confused, and the one that I wrote only had 35, but I went through them and these are the ones that sound the most teasing, so yeah. If there’s a problem, leave me a note and I will fix it! =) Also this may seem a bit creepy but I was checking out your page and I LOVE how my mouse has a little hamburger attached to it when I click around. SO ADORABLE!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>!!!!!Prompt List Credits: @deathlyhogwarts​ (her page is amazing you guys should check it out!) <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<!!!!!!

# 29: “You’re better than my favorite fictional character, and that means something.”

# 37: “I’m not a man-whore! I just love women!”

# 39: “You’re the most adorable thing in the world.” (me @ that tiny hamburger) (sorry I’m such a creep)

I tried to make it as fluffy as I could, but there’s a small section of sadness but don’t worry!

Okay I’ll shut up now.

________________________________________________________________

         In your first year, you hated Draco Malfoy. He was always mean to you and your friends, and he seemed exactly like the villain you would read about it picture books when you were younger.

       By your second year, you realized that perhaps all that those villains needed was a friend. So you decided to give it a try. He had dropped his Defense Against the Dark Arts book in the hallway, and being the pompous-ass-but-secretly-insecure annoying boy he was, he simply glared at it as if it threw itself out of his arms. To save him from what probably seemed like total embarrassment at the time, you quickly walked over and picked it up for him. And that began what would blossom into a great friendship.

       However, as the years went on, you felt a bit strange around him. In the third year, you found yourself becoming extra giggly around him, and you even found yourself twirling your hair around you finger. You never twirled you hair around your finger. After explaining your bizarre situation to your friend Hermione, she erupted into a fit of giggles, explaining how it seemed you had a crush, and your face twisted up into disgust.

    Yet as you thought about it more, you realized that you did, in fact, have a crush on the Slytherin prince. And you made a vow to yourself that nobody, especially him, would find out.

         Now you were in your sixth year. You and Draco had decided to study for the potions assessment you had coming up together in the library after classes. You agreed, of course. He was your best friend.

_____________

         You groaned a little, letting your hurting head fall down onto the book dramatically.

“What now? Miss Straight A’s is pretending to have trouble so she seems normal?” Draco teased, poking you in the ribs. You raise your head and glared at him, yet it quickly melted into a poorly-suppressed smile. He chuckled.

“No. I’m short on mandrake leaves and we need them for the assessment. And the ones that Snape has in the closet are all the bad ones, heaven knows he keeps the ones worth using in his own private supply closet.” you grumble.

“You can use some of mine.” Draco says, flipping through his book.

“Thanks.” you say, a small smile on your face. You turn back to your book. “You know, sometimes Draco, you’re better than my favorite fictional character, and that means something.” When he simply hums, you look up at him to find him staring at some Hufflepuff’s arse.

“Oh my god.” you say, rolling your eyes. And here I was comparing you to Mr. Darcy.” you mumble quietly. Then you turn pink, hoping he hadn’t read the muggle book.

“Who’s Mr. Darcy?”

“Oh, just some prat.”

“Sounds like me.” he mumbles, causing you to giggle. He turns back to his book. “Hey, Y/N?” he says softly. You turn to face him again, copying down a sentence from the textbook. “I wanted to tell you…” he says softer. You look at him, your heart pounding. “You look a lot worse then normal lately. Are you sick or something?” he says with a smirk, leaning back in his chair with a goofy smile. You groan, laughing.

“I hate you.” you say. You turn back to your book and he does the same. A few minutes later, he looks at you. You ignore him, sure that he’s just ready to bug you again. A few more moments pass before you finally look at him. He turns pink and turns back to his book. You shake your head a little and flip the page.

    And then he looks at you again.

“What do you want, Draco?” you murmur. He opens his mouth to answer, then closes it quickly.

“Nothing.” he replies softly. His cheeks are pink. He takes a deep breath before turning back to his book. The Hufflepuff moves and he looks up. He turns to you, the signature Malfoy smirk on his face. “Actually Y/N, there is something I want.” he says. You look up. He cocks his head toward the blonde. “Her name.” he says with an obnoxious wink. You groan a little.

“You’re such a man-whore, it’s unbelievable.” you say, shaking your head. He gasps, pretending to be offended.

“I’m not a man-whore! I just love women!” he says. You look at him.

“Yeah. Man-whore.” you say. He opens his mouth to protest but stops, sighing. He then shrugs, causing you to giggle. He turns pink and turns back to his book, burying his face in it. You frown. “Hey, what’s the matter?” you ask as you catch a glimpse of his now very red face. Was he angry? Was it something you said? You put your hand carefully on his upper arm, squeezing a little. It causes your heart to pound but it doesn’t matter. You have to focus on your friend now, not you. “Draco?” you ask. He lowers his book, his cheeks still pink. Silently, he puts his hand on yours. You look at him confused.

“It’s…nothing.” he says. You roll your eyes, laughing a little.

“Are you sure? Because that seemed like quite a lot of drama for nothing.” you say.

“You read to much into things.” he mutters, turning the page in his book. You sigh. He was right, but not in he way he thought he was. You close your book, standing up.

“I’ll be right back.” you say softly. “I just need another book.” he nods and you’re about to take a step when he says your name. You turn around, only to find out to late that your foot was wrapped around the strap of you book bag. Your eyes widen as you feel yourself falling back. You hit the floor with an “oomph”, the air knocked out of your lungs. You pant, your face twisting in pain. Then you hear his clean, ringing laugh. The laugh that sounded like a joyous bird song. You sit up, glaring at him as he walks over to you.

“You’re the most adorable thing in the world.” he says, pinching your cheek. You glare, but can’t help but smile.

“I hate you.” you say. He offers you his hand, and you take it. He helps you up.

“Merlin, your hands are cold.” he says. “Kind of like your soul.” He smirks as you stick your tongue out at him.

_______

     It’s close to dinner time when Draco gets up to leave. “I’ll see you at dinner.” he says. You nod, telling him that you’re just going to finish up your notes. He nods and puts his hand on your shoulder. It’s a simple act but still causes your heart to race. He then leaves.

     As he walks away, you notice a piece of paper fall out of his bag. You furrow your brow, walking over to it. “Draco!” you say, but he’s already gone. You shrug, supposing you can give it to him at dinner when you see your name written neatly on it. You frown and go back to your seat.

     You debate for what seems like hours. Should you open it, or would it be a complete invasion of privacy? It would either way. But your name is on the envelope. It’s a letter to you. You bite your lip. But maybe he didn’t want to post it for a reason. Or maybe he was going to later? You were at what seemed like a world war with yourself.

       You hear Madam Pince clear her throat behind you. “It’s dinner time. Unless you plan on skipping, I’d suggest you go downstairs.” she says. You nod. You then sigh. You were seeing him next anyways. You nod before very carefully opening the letter, so you don’t break the envelope. You frown a little. It’s a small piece of paper, no bigger than your hand. You take it out, your hands shaking. It was probably just “Let’s do our Herbology homework together.” Why were you so nervous? You take a deep breath.

Dear Y/N,

      I don’t think we should be friends anymore. I’m sorry, but I’d much rather be-

After that, the ink formed a straight line, as if he had dragged his quill across the paper by accident. Your mouth hung open, and you felt as though you couldn’t breath. Tears came to your eyes as you felt like you were suffocating. Without Draco, you didn’t have a best friend. Sure, you had friends, but nobody could replace Draco. You sniffle, stuffing the letter into your pocket. You were not going to dinner.

      You picked up your pile of books and left as fast as you could. You heard the loud chatter downstairs but walked past it, holding back your tears. You quickly ran up all the flights of stairs, up to your favorite place.

     You ran through the doors, dropping all your things and walking over to the balcony. The Astronomy tower was where you came whenever something was very wrong. Nobody knew that, except Draco. You took off your shoes, sitting crisscross applesauce and finally falling into sobs.

       You didn’t understand. What did you ever do wrong? You were one of Draco’s only good friends and he was, well, your only one. You sob, shaking. The night breeze chilled you. You took a deep, shaky breath, looking up at the stars as you toss the envelope backwards angrily. You wait for it to hit the floor with a satisfying rip-like sound, but it never came. You wait a few more seconds before turning.

    Your eyes widen then narrow at the sight of the familiar blonde haired boy. He looked down at the envelope, his mouth opening and closing. He had a panicked look in his eyes, and as he looked up at you, you turned quickly, not wanting to see him leave. But you hear his footsteps walk toward you.

“Y/N…” he struggled.

“No need to explain. I get it. I-I’m a boring, annoying Gryffindor, and you’re the…”

You laugh bitterly as you wipe your cheeks.

“You’re the Slytherin prince.” you whisper, your voce breaking.

“No, Y/N, that’s not what this letter was meant for.” he whispered, hesitating before sitting next to you, but a good length away.

“No, let me guess, it was meant for, I don’t know, who, Crabbe? Did he change his name?” you say.

“That’s the rough draft.” he said very quietly. He opens his bag and takes out an another envelope, handing it to you.

“What the fuck? Do you think I want to read that stupid-”

“Just…Just read it.” he said. You feel fresh tears in your eyes as you open the letter. It was written in very extra, silver ink. The parchment seemed very expensive, like you could only find it at a certain place. You bite your lip and start to read.

My Dear Y/N,

       I felt that I’ve held my silence for too long. I should begin from the start, shouldn’t I?

    I must admit, my first year at Hogwarts, I had quite the sense of loathing towards you and your friends. Same goes for the first half of Second year. And then you helped me, and everything changed.

    At first I was satisfied with being your friend, and everything seemed blissfully perfect. But then after the summer, when you sat with me on the train for third year, I saw you in a different light. I don’t know how, and I don’t know why, but I did. And my feelings have only grown in the past few years.

   This is difficult for me to write, Y/N, but I must say it.

      I love you.

                                   Your dearest friend, and perhaps something more,

                                               Draco

                You take a rather shaky breath as you turn to face him. “You…you do?” you ask quietly. He clenches his jaw as he nods, his face looking grim.

“And I’m sorry I’ve just ruined everything. I-I’m going to go back to dinner.” he said, about to stand up. But before he can, you grab his sleeve. He looks down at you. “Y/N-”

“I love you too. Since third year.” you say quickly, your cheeks resembling the color of a beet. His cheeks turn pink and before you can comprehend what is happening, you feel his warm lips press against yours. You take a deep breath and lean in more, wrapping your arms around him. His hands settle on your waist, squeezing gently as he pulls you in closer. You run your fingers through his blonde locks, your thumb eventually running over his cheek. A few more blissful moments pass before you pull away.

“Be mine?” he whispers as he leans your forehead against yours.

“Of course.”

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

‘On a Wednesday in a Cafe’ Chapter 4: Can’t Help Falling in Love

Playlist for this chapter (x)

                              The next day, Sherlock returned to the café at his usual time. There was no coffee waiting for him like usual. She was smiling and laughing with other customers, but as soon as her eyes met his, she glared. If looks could kill, he’d probably be dead right now. “Molly,” he spoke softly once he reached the counter.

               “I don’t feel like entertaining today,” she snapped bitterly.

               “I’m so sorry, Molly,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

               “If you didn’t mean it, then why did you say it?” she asked. He noticed her gripping the coffee pot handle so tight, her knuckles turned pale.

               “I was trying to get my brother off my back. He’s always butting into my personal life, so I lied to him,” Sherlock explained. She said nothing, but her grip had loosened up a bit. “I know you’ve no reason to believe me.”

               “You’re right, I don’t,” she told him. He looked so sad. “But for some odd reason, I know you’re telling the truth.”  

               “I am,” he replied. “Please, allow me to make it up to you. Give me a chance to show you how much you mean to me.”

               “I actually mean something to you?” her tone conveyed surprise.

               “Yes, I—of course, you do, Molly,” Sherlock confirmed. His voice was so gentle. “I know I cocked things up, but I’m willing to do anything to have a second chance. Do you know why I come here every day?”

               “For coffee,” she spoke matter-of-factly.

               “I don’t need to come here for coffee every day. My landlady usually fixes me a cuppa,” he explained. “I come back each day because of you, Molly Hooper.”

               “Me? I’m no one special,” she muttered.

               “That’s not true. You’re special to me,” he admitted. “And I’d like to prove that to you.”

               “And how will you be proving it?” Molly asked, unable to fight the small smile on her face.

               “Spend a night out with me tonight,” he suggested.

               “It’s a date,” she smiled. “Want your coffee to go?” Molly handed him a to-go cup.

               “Yes, thank you. I promise I won’t let you down,” Sherlock told her, handing her his payment for the beverage. Before she could reply, he had pressed his lips to her cheek tenderly. “Until tonight.”

               Molly was quite ready for her date with Sherlock. She had texted him her address after getting off of her shift. She wore a dark red cross back, raglan sleeve dress patterned with black skulls that went to her knees. Her hair was brushed back into a braid that went down her back with a few loose tendrils framing her face. After slipping on her flats, there was a knock at the door.

               “Wow,” was all Sherlock could manage to utter when she opened the door. She couldn’t help but softly laugh at his reaction. “Skulls…nice touch.”

               “I thought you’d appreciate it,” Molly admitted. “Ready?”

               “Indeed,” he smiled, leading her out into the street. “I hope you don’t mind walking; we aren’t going far.”

               “I don’t mind,” she told him. They had reached the café rather quickly which was now closed and she wondered why they were here.

               “The day we first met is still quite vivid in my mind,” Sherlock told her. “I remember how you wore your hair, our short exchange and thinking of how beautiful you are.” He laced his fingers with hers. “I wouldn’t have come back here if it weren’t for you. I don’t usually frequent cafés.”

               “I—really?” she asked, squeezing his hand gently.

               “Of course,” he smiled. “I tried to deny how I was feeling on several occasions, but you’ve made a lasting impression in my mind…and my heart, if we’re being honest.”

               Molly was still processing his words when he led her away from the café. It was a cool autumn night, the breeze sending chills down her spine. Sherlock stopped walking in order to shed his Belstaff and settle it over her shoulders. They laughed together at how much smaller she looked in it, and Sherlock decided that he loved seeing her wear it.

               “Fancy some chips?” he asked, nodding towards Speedy’s diner.

               “Sure,” Molly replied. They got their food in takeaway boxes since Sherlock planned to show her how he saw London. An interesting sort of date for sure, but she was quite excited for it. They had run into Sherlock’s landlady, Mrs. Hudson, and Molly learned he lived in 221B right next door. The two of them walked in silence for a bit as they ate their chips.

               “I feel like a tourist,” Molly laughed.

               “Nothing wrong with that,” Sherlock told her. “That means you’re appreciating the city more than usual.”

               “Is that how you always see it?” she asked.

               “Mm, mostly, yes,” he answered. “There are days I see the beauty in it and other times the potential for constant crime. For example, see that alley there? I solved a homicide that happened there.” Molly gave him a look he couldn’t quite read. “Probably not the best thing to talk about on an outing.”

               “No, it’s fine,” she assured him. “I’m quite interested in your work. I assume we will be working together eventually.”

               “True, we will be. I look forward to it, Doctor Hooper,” he smirked. She didn’t know why, but the way he said her title made her blush. They had made it to the London eye and sat upon the bench where they could overlook it. Everything was all lit up, illuminating the city. Sherlock couldn’t help but find it beautiful how Molly looked in the lighting. “May I?” His arm found its way around her waist. She nodded and allowed him to hold her closer to him.

She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head and she turned to look at him. He felt as if her eyes were searching his, but for what he didn’t know. It did not go unnoticed by him how her eyes had darted to his lips briefly. This was territory he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t want to disappoint her. If he spoke, it might break the moment they were having or about to have. As he continuously overthought every little thing, Molly took him off guard by pressing her lips to his and God, he wanted nothing more than to consume her.

It was Molly’s turn to be surprised when he slid his tongue between her lips, one arm around her waist and another caressing her cheek. Though they had only known one another for a few months, neither of them could deny it any longer…this was love, pure and simple. Molly slid her fingers into his hair and Sherlock definitely seemed to enjoy that, as he deepened the kiss, a small hum coming from his mouth. They broke away for air, leaning their foreheads together.

“I don’t usually do that on the first date,” Molly breathed out, laughing slightly.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to with me,” he chuckled. “Molly, I am so very sorry for my past indiscretions. I never intended to hurt you.”

“You’re forgiven,” she smiled, nuzzling her nose against his.

“Have you ever been?” he asked, gesturing to the London eye.

“Can’t say I have,” she answered.

“Well, come on then,” Sherlock grinned, offering Molly his hand. This man was just one surprise after another and he thought the same about her. He had gotten them a private capsule and he reveled in the way her eyes lit up at the view as they climbed higher. She felt his arms wrap around her from behind and he settled his head on her shoulder. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered this in her ear, resulting in the quickening of her heartbeat. Molly felt she may actually cry joyous tears, as she felt her eyes fill up. He kissed her cheek softly and she became acutely aware that perhaps he was not even paying attention to the view, but rather he was watching her reactions. Molly found she didn’t mind it one bit.

As they began to move closer to the ground once again, Molly turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his neck before pulling him down for a thorough snogging. She wanted nothing more than for him to know how much she loved him. They both now understood what it meant to have a ‘whirlwind romance.’ It had all happened so quickly, it seemed, but within all those moments conversing in the café, ever since the first day they met, they had been falling for one another.

“I had a lovely time, Sherlock,” Molly smiled from where they stood outside her door. “Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure, Molly,” he told her. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.” With a kiss to her cheek, they parted ways, but they both knew this was the beginning of something worthwhile and wonderful. 

Molly’s Dress is based off of this top I own:    

fanfiction.net | ao3

[naturepointstheway]

Day 30/30: “Days in the Sun Will Come Shining Through”

Finally. We come to the end, and okay, I may have cheated a little and used one of my earliest BatB fics back in June, but I expanded and improved on it, so...it’s both old and new in a way, and don’t worry, it all ends on a happy note. Perhaps think of it like what a lot of artists do, doing a redraw of a piece of artwork they did a year ago (or six months ago or whatever), but in this case it’s with an old piece of writing done five months ago. 

For the curious, here’s the original prompt from back in June that had come from @morgaine2005

Stars burned bright for the first time in forever in a gloriously cloudless night sky above the castle, as though they too rejoiced in the return of the prince to his human being. Much revelry inside and outside of the castle had gone on for hours, nay, days now, but who could blame the people for rejoicing that they were human again and were reunited with loved ones? Who could blame Plumette and Lumiere for spending quality hours behind a locked door (and unlocked doors)? Who could fault the prince for spending hours with Belle, telling her all that had happened in his life, in the comfort of her arms? Who could blame Mrs Potts for almost never letting Chip out of her sight, bestowing him with cuddles and kisses whenever she could to make up for all that lost time?

No one, not least of all, Prince Adam, could find it in themselves to blame anyone for wanting to rejoice. Yet, despite his own overwhelming relief and happiness at the curse’s undoing, Prince Adam found himself desiring quiet away from the crowds. He couldn’t remember a single time before the curse when he had ever desired such a thing. Once, he desperately longed to be in the centre of attention at festivities and parties, but now he found himself just as—if not more so—content being on the periphery of the crowd.

It was on one of these joyous evenings, bubbling over with song, music, and dance, that the prince quietly slipped away, leaving Belle to chat with much animation to Plumette, with whom she had become instant companions, like they had been friends all their lives. He had to smile internally when he saw just how much they were the best of friends, and a well of happiness for Belle filled him on knowing she finally found the companion she never had the chance to have for most of her life.

On this particular night, the prince wandered down candlelit hallways resonating with song from the ballroom, where Garderobe was giving it her all. Cadenza’s passionate harpsichord melodies lilted and danced and twirled down on the warm, summer air that wafted through the windows of the palace. Without really thinking about it, he began humming along with the melody, letting its romantic notes fill every part of his soul with its beauty. He even found himself dancing along to it, waltzing in tandem with the melody.

After a while of wandering the halls on feather-light feet, Adam stopped before a doorway that opened out onto a quiet balcony of the castle. It had been left ajar; perhaps someone had already gone out on the balcony to catch some quiet and fresh air, maybe even gaze upon the stars stretching from horizon to horizon. Perhaps they stood out there now, hands on the ledge of the balcony, eyes closed as they inhaled the sweet scent of night-time deep into their very soul. And was that a shooting star that just streaked across the sky, so bright that it left behind an impression of itself on Adam’s eyelids?

May as well go watch the stars too, Adam decided, pushing the door a little more as he stepped outside, and enjoy some peace and quiet.

The prince strolled out, his shoes tapping against the stone floor as he approached the balcony’s edge. Once he reached the ledge, he leaned forward on it, eyes still gazing upon the dazzling night sky. His elbows dug into the stone still warm from the day’s sunshine. His hands clasped together over the ledge, hanging out in mid-air as he listened to his own thoughts.

Curious, isn’t this? Curious that I should love the quiet when once upon a time I sneered at the idea.

As he stared up at the twinkling stars coating the sky in glittering magic, he listened again to the loud, clear music in the distance–Cadenza and his wife were still playing into the night for an adoring audience. The prince was sure that the couple could play well into the next dawn if they so desired, fuelled by nothing but their passion for the art of music.

“Care to enlighten me with your thoughts?”

Adam flinched in surprise at the new voice, turning aside to see Lumiere had joined him, a tall glass of champagne in each hand. Right now, he was offering one to the prince, who accepted it with a quiet thank you.

“To happiness, mon ami,” Lumiere said, raising his glass to clink it with Adam’s.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Adam mused as he turned around to lean his back against the railings, unconsciously mimicking Lumiere’s own cross-legged stance. “Where did you come from?”

“Paris?”

“I didn’t see you on the balcony.”

“I was here all along, my prince! You just didn’t see me, that’s all. Plumette’s still talking with Belle, I take it?”

“Like they’ve been friends all their lives.”

“Ahh, here, let’s have another toast—to friendship.”

Adam couldn’t help a small grin when their glasses clinked, Lumiere taking a long gulp from his own glass, draining it.

“I’m glad for Belle that she’s found such a good friend in Plumette,” Adam said, “I don’t think she’s ever had a best friend in her whole life before she came here to this castle.”

“Poor cheri, but she is happy now, non?”

“Happier than she has ever been in her whole life.”

Lumiere raised his glass as though to toast again, then made a show of astonishment when he saw it was empty. He left Adam’s side to quickly grab the bottle from where he’d left it on the ledge farther away before returning, glass already filled. He offered the bottle to Adam, who shook his head as he lifted his own glass, still half-full.

“A toast to our Belle,” Lumiere declared, clinking his glass against Adam’s again. “She has been the light of our lives since she came to the castle. And to think it all started with being clobbered by a stool.”

Adam accidentally inhaled his sip of champagne at the unexpected comment, coughing and wincing as the liquid burned down his throat. Lumiere thumped him on the back until his coughing mostly subsided.

“Let’s not drown our joys in champagne, Adam. Drowning your sorrows is one thing, but joy is another.”

“Context. Now.”

“The stool? Oh, nothing too dramatic—don’t scoff!—except for Belle smacking me with a stool when I first introduced myself to her in the tower. She was lucky you weren’t there.”

Adam didn’t have to try too hard to imagine his outrage had he been there to witness it. He always had a zero tolerance approach to anyone harming his staff—especially those he’d known his whole life long—or anybody else in his household. He might have yelled at his servants, but he would never have laid a finger on them, not like his father would have done.

“Lucky it was you she met, then,” Adam said, “And not someone in a more fragile form.”

A brief silence passed between them, both men trying not to imagine what could have happened had that been the case.

“She must have known,” Adam said, right out of the blue, earning a confused look from Lumiere. “The Enchantress. She must have somehow known I wouldn’t hurt any of you. Why else would she allow some of the household to be transformed into fragile household items?”

“You know…” Lumiere leaned his elbow on the ledge, resting the side of his head against his hand as he studied the prince in some thought. “I think she sensed there was still some goodness in you left.”

Adam scoffed a second time.

“Don’t scoff, my prince,” Lumiere said, “Mrs Potts was discussing this with us the other day, you know. Said she always had faith in you all along, even when we…well. Let’s just say some of us lost all hope.”

“I probably deserved it back then. You all were unhappy.”

“You think so?”

“You were serving a ruler who treated his subjects in an appalling manner. I mistreated my people,” Adam’s voice threatened to crack, and he stopped, trying to take a deep breath, “I should have been overthrown.”

“And you weren’t.”

“Eventually, Lumiere, had the Enchantress not come along that night. You and I know full well.”

Silence again.

“Why didn’t you and the others leave with the guests?” Adam asked after a time, “It was your chance to flee from the castle.”

“We couldn’t just leave you, mon prince, not when you were in so much agony.”

“You could have run while you had the chance.”

“And we didn’t, did we?”

“You wouldn’t have been cursed with me.”

“And you would have been all alone, and what would you have done then?”

“I—” Adam’s voice caught in his throat, staring over at another part of the castle silhouetted against the night. He could see it from here, that tower that he had climbed, the highest point of the castle, that night when the hunter shot him. “I don’t know.”

“You know full well.”

“I do?”

“Adam, how long have I known you?”

“A while.”

“If by a while you mean since you were about five or six, then yes, I’ve known you a while. Long enough to know well what you would have done had you been completely alone.”

Another few moments of quiet passed, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, even if shrouded in sobriety.

“I couldn’t have lived with myself had you become inanimate for good,” Adam confessed, “At least you and the others made it. Belle broke the curse in time to prevent you turning inanimate forever.”

The silence that followed, somehow hesitant and sombre, unsettled the prince.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” 

It wasn’t a question or accusation from the prince, but the words of a friend to another whom they knew all too well. There was something heavy in Lumiere’s silence, an unspoken refutation of the prince’s own assumption they never turned inanimate. A chill crept down his spine, and he opened his mouth but found he couldn’t voice what he wished to ask. Fortunately, he was saved this difficult question when Lumiere confirmed it in a few words.

“We did become inanimate, at least a little while. Fortunately,” Lumiere’s voice lightened again, leaning back toward its more usual tones, “A certain young cheri was just in time.” 

“Belle…” 

“Belle,” Lumiere agreed, now placing a firm, confident hand on the prince’s shoulder. “As for me, old friend, I am a phoenix. Burn me and I shall return, rising from the ashes.” 

Despite himself, Adam couldn’t help a jovial laugh at Lumiere’s dramatic words.

“And what would I be? The terrible troll under the bridge?”

“The Beast in the enchanted castle,” Lumiere said without missing a beat, “Who awaits romance to save the day, and save the day it did.”

“Not without dying first.”

“Love looked the Grim Reaper dead in the eyes and thus said, you will not defeat me yet. Love then turned on its heel and walked out of Hades back to the land of the living, and voila! Here we stand, triumphant against death.”

“That’s…very dramatic.”

Lumiere laughed, raising his glass, “To our penchant for the dramatic.”

“Really?”

“My glass awaits.”

Adam shook his head in amusement, but clinked his glass with Lumiere’s nevertheless. Lumiere pointed at the prince.

“Your turn to come up with something to toast to next time. It can’t all be on my shoulders.”

“I don’t know what to toast to.”

“Anything. The stars, the music, the sun, anything.”

“We’re going to be here all night just toasting to everything if you had your way.”

“I would never!”

“You’d toast to every individual guest if you could.”

“Excuse me, I am the maître d’ of the castle.”

“Point taken.”

“So, what will you toast to?”

Adam considered the question, stopping himself in time from saying an automatic “I don’t know”. Lumiere was right, really—there was so many things he could toast to; there were so many things he was grateful for that deserved a toast. Most certainly, he was grateful, eternally so, for Belle having coming into his life. And he was also grateful for those who had stayed loyal despite everything that had happened, even if he still wondered if he deserved such loyalty.

What was it about them? What was it that kept them going? What was it about Belle that made me feel…

That’s what it was. Hope. Hope that maybe things would turn out alright in the end. And it did, it really did. Adam raised his glass, Lumiere’s face breaking out into a grin.

“And? What shall we toast to, mon prince?”

“To your unfailing hope that days in the sun will come shining through,” Adam declared, “And to the future full of more days in the sun.”

“Perfect.”

Clink!

[davonnerochelle]

A Lesson on Triggers and the Wounds they Stem From 

Many of you may have heard the phrase “I’ve been triggered!” Some of you may have rolled your eyes in response to the person saying it. Or laughed it off as some new age, cry baby thing Millennials do when their feelings get hurt (chill I’m a Millennial! #eldermillennial). I’m here to tell you being triggered is a very real thing, linked to very real trauma, and in need of very real healing. Some of us may have triggered as a result of physical events (i.e. accidents or abuse). Others of us may have triggers formed from ancestral or generational events. Situations that happened before we were born or as a result of happenings in a different lifetime that we carried over. Whatever the cause of the wound, the resulting trigger is real and you shouldn’t ignore it. 

Today I was triggered in a big way that made me aware of a wound I didn’t realize I had. I suffered a very real physical injury because of it and was left to stew in the pot of the why’s and what the fucks of it all.  This part essay, part venting mess, is part of the three-part process I took today to recenter and figure my shit out. My hope is that you find something in this tower moment that you can relate to. And/or you are better prepared for when you’re triggered in the future and how to work through it. 

WARNING! The following paragraphs have some very strong opinions about humanity that you may or may not agree with, that may end up triggering you, or may not be entirely politically correct. My advice is that you take care of yourself. Proceed as far as you can and stop when you feel you cannot any longer. Practice self-care always. Not everything on the Internet is meant for you. Further, note that I am including myself in a lot of these generalizations. I usually avoid generalizations in my writing as a rule. As a person of color, I find them to be short-sighted and limiting. But, based on my recent observations, there was no other way to tackle how I was feeling in the written form. If you’re offended, that's an indication that there is something here that you need to work through. I hope you take the time to do so. All my love!

My Trigger

Entitlement is the plague of humanity. What do I mean by this? Think about all of what is toxicity in our civilization. Even down to the things that seem mundane or minuscule: someone cutting you off in line or while driving; someone running a red light; someone asking you to do something for them when they know you have plans; someone making plans for you and not including you in the process. What is at the core of all of these behaviors? Someone who feels they are entitled to, or have the right to do what they want without consideration for the people around them. 

There may be a moment after reading that paragraph where you think to yourself, that’s not really entitlement, that’s just people being people. But when did thinking your needs are more important than others to the point where you expect your needs to be honored over the needs of others, become “people being people?” You might also think: surely this is not the plague of humanity. Not all of humanity's evils are initiated from entitlement. You’re right. Not all but most. Why do members of our government, our economy, our law enforcement system, feel they get to lie, cheat, steal, murder, and prosper, independent of what that means to the rest of us? Why do we, and I am including myself in this generalization, feel it is okay to eat animals without showing gratitude for their contribution to our nourishment or use resources without considering the repercussions for that use? Because some of us feel it is our right to do so. We feel entitled to it. 

Now, many are probably offended at this point and wondering why I’m taking time and energy to vent about humanity and entitlement in a very public way. Especially after Christmas when we’re all supposed to be grateful and joyous. The reason is that today I was triggered by another person’s entitlement and it ignited some epiphanies in me. It made me aware!! And my ancestors insisted I share this with you all. 

What Happened? 

Earlier today, my husband and I were walking from a local breakfast place, where we parked our car, to Starbucks, which was only a short distance away. We didn’t see the need to drive there, which we normally do, because there was an accident on a major road running parallel to the main street in our town, and traffic was locking up. We thought it smarter to walk. When we came out of the breakfast place, a woman was standing next to her SUV, which was double-parked, blocking in three cars, one of which was parked in a handicap spot. She said in our direction, “is one of these cars yours?” She gestured toward the cars she was blocking. We said in unison: No! She responded, “are you even parked in this parking lot?” Again, in unison, we said, “yes!” and proceeded to continue walking. My husband, ever the problem solver, started to gesture to her that a number of different parking spaces were open (at least two). It looked like he was starting to walk to our car, but I said to him, “ I don’t care what’s happening in this parking lot. Let’s go get coffee.” He responded, shaking his head as if becoming aware of what he was doing, “True!” and we proceeded out of the parking lot toward Starbucks. When we rounded the corner I heard “Well Happy Holidays Asshole!”  

At the time, I didn’t know what compelled me to turn around and walk back. But I did. She was getting into the car and I said to her, “is there a problem? Do you have another question for us?” She continued to get into her car and roll up the windows. I, an idiot, stood in front of her car yelling “why did you call us an asshole!? Why did you call me an asshole?! There’s a parking space right there? Why did you call me an asshole?” She kept gesturing to me to move out of the way. At this point, I was standing right in front of her vehicle. I was determined to hear her answer. Eventually, she said, “ I wasn’t talking to you!” I gestured to her “ok!” mouthing, “That’s all you had to say,” and walked away. I didn’t make it two feet before I heard a snap and felt pain radiate up my leg. I’d stepped wrong along the sidewalk and sprained my ankle...that I had sprained the year before (and when I was a teenager). 

Why does all of this matter and what does it have to do with entitlement and triggers? 

Now! You may be interrupting this story in a number of different ways. Keep in mind there are three sides to every story. I will be the first to admit that. You may be concluding that I put my life in danger (as my husband pointed out, she could have hit the gas and killed me at any moment) for no reason, over a dumb parking space and some petty insult that I couldn’t be certain was directed at us. My husband and I feel very strongly, however,  her insult was directed at us. She only said it wasn’t to get me out of her way (i believe, she didn’t want to admit that her insult was meritless…. But more on that later). We were the only people in the parking lot. 

I needed to tell you this story, to lay out this situation, so that I can illustrate the soul evolution and epiphany that proceeded and how that relates to my conclusions and how I worked through my trigger.  

After I snapped my ankle, leaning on a nearby metal post, forcing myself not to cry in public, I hobbled to the Starbucks with my husband close at hand. After I placed my order, the sweet barista who took it gave me some ice as she realized what had happened. While sitting waiting for my coffee, my husband and I talked about what happened, why it happened, and what it meant. The epiphany is in the why. 

I immediately, upon sitting and allowing myself to feel the pain and embarrassment that came along with the sprain thought to myself, I failed. I saw the whole situation as a test and I flunked. I just new, in my new age, witchy mind, that I was going to have to start all over, forced to repeat this test again in a few months time, hoping that when it came back around, I wouldn’t “go dark” and lose my temper in public. During this tear-filled realization, I began to vent about why I went back. Why I put my life in danger to insist this woman fess up to why she called us assholes: I was tired. I was tired of humanity! I was tired of people, forcing their entitlements on me and assuming that what they wanted, whether it minor or significant, is my responsibility to oblige. Further, if I choose not to oblige, they feel it okay to insult or punish me for recognizing my right to set boundaries and standing my ground. Further still, not admitting that what they, in fact, were doing, was being selfish enough, entitled enough, to project their desires over another human being. I’ve been seeing this a lot lately. Especially before the holidays. People taking liberties where most civilized and well-mannered individuals would not because they feel they can. Friends, making decisions and imposing plans the way they want them to be, without consideration for the other person involved, their needs, or their plans. I lost my temper. I lost my mind. And said enough is enough. In other words, I was triggered. 

Moving through the trigger and understanding what that looks like. 

Knowing now that the situation was a trigger and not a test, what then was the test? Recognizing the trigger. Unpacking the trigger. Acknowledging the conclusions that rose up in me as a result of the situation. Would I take the time to recenter and unpack everything? Or would I just wallow and become the victim, ignoring what happened, and move along as if nothing was wrong?  This isn’t the first time I’ve lost my emotional resolve as a result of someone else being inconsiderate. Scenarios such as these usually bring me to blackout and hot tears. Why? Because I feel very strongly that no person is better than anyone else and we should not be subject to someone else’s entitled tyranny. The questions I asked myself after naming that trigger: now what? What do I do with this new discovery? How do I move on? 

When I got home, I told my husband that I needed to be alone today. I had a lot of things to consider. First and foremost, what does life look like now that I know this trigger is real (in other words, similar situations from my past were not erased because I have found spirituality. Those were not isolated incidents explained away as  “I was young and hot-headed”. I really have a sore wound around people, entitlement, and my existence). Second, continuing to breakdown the why: why did I go back? Why did I care? The answers to these questions are simple: I felt it was my responsibility to make her see the wrong in her behavior. Why did I see it was my responsibility? Because I am a healer? Because I’m tired of people and their entitled behavior? Because at some point in my life…..past lives….that was my responsibility and I’m still trying to fulfill that purpose? 

I spent time today meditating and journaling on everything. My conclusion was that I am not a healer of many, but a healer of myself. It is not my responsibility to point out to others that they are entitled and inconsiderate, suggesting that they need to work on and unpack those behaviors. As I did it for myself, they need to do the same. People are not my responsibility.  A tarot reading later, I realize this is not true. I am a healer and my calling is to be of service to others and support in their healing. I just need to go about it in a different way. I need to understand that I can only go with them so far. I need to learn to detach and release what/who I cannot change when it comes to healing (a post for another day). 

Where does my sprained ankle factor in? 

In August 2018, right before my bridal shower, I sprained my ankle. It was a message from my spirit guides to slow down. I was doing too much, seemingly distracted, and things were slipping through the cracks. Pay attention was the overall message. I believe the message this time around is similar. Except what they are asking me to pay attention to is the root of my problem: identifying and unpacking this trigger and its subsequent wound. The last time I sprained my ankle I did a lot of rootwork. I didn’t feel secure or grounded or supported. This time around my roots are wounded and I need to tend to them. I wish this didn’t happen. I wish I would have seen the dip in the sidewalk and maybe stopped and thought through the consequences of going back and yelling at the woman, but I didn’t and such is the destiny of my poor left ankle. I’m not sure how much more this ankle can take so I really need to make sure I’m slowing down, paying attention, and considering all the factors involved in a situation (literally and metaphorically). 

What is my conclusion around all of what happened and what resulted? 

Being triggered is real. They are true indications of wounding present in your life. Don’t ignore them. The test isn’t in the trigger, it is in acknowledging that trigger, unpacking it, and learning from its existence. LIke trauma (a possible cause of a wound connected to a trigger), it takes time to alleviate and heal. In some cases, it may not heal at all. But the awareness and the commitment to working through it is where evolution lives. Evolution is learning how to live with these wounds and show yourself love and compassion throughout the processes. 

On our drive home, stuck in traffic that resulted from the accident I mentioned earlier, I said to my husband, “I really hope that woman has a better day.” He mentioned that was big for me to say and I said I meant it. Something was clearly going wrong for her that steamed far beyond that parking lot. It was just unfortunate that our lives and lessons crashed into each other in such away. 

image from 2012 Movie

[bluehairedlordwrites]

What Comes Next

Series: None

Prompt: After suffering a deadly car crash, Matthew finds himself somewhere he can’t explain.

Rating: SFW, PG-13 (violence, death, existentialism, life after death)

Notes: This one is a bit more personal. I wrote this a few months ago on a whim after a sudden rush of inspiration, and this is what came of it. I thought it might be worth sharing. Give it a read mayhaps? I won’t do too many like these (unless you enjoy it) so let me know what you think!

Also no, my name is not Matthew. It’s Kyle. Cheers!

Have you ever been in a situation, or in an environment, that you just couldn’t describe? That’s where I was. I wasn’t hot. I wasn’t cold. It wasn’t bright. It wasn’t dark. I could see, so I guess it couldn’t have been dark. But that didn’t make it bright, did it? I don’t know.

“Hello Matthew.” A voice spoke, breaking the chilling silence. I looked ahead, and there was someone in front of me. I couldn’t make out who it was. Or even what it was. I knew they had a face, so I thought they must be human. But they had no defining features. They weren’t man or woman, white, black, or anything in between. If anyone had answers, it was them. But what would I even ask first? I guess I’d start with the easiest one.

“Who are you?” I asked.

The figure chuckled, as if it was an odd question to ask.

“Who am I? Names are no longer relevant dear child. If you must label me... I am... Me.”

Me smiled back at me, as if they provided an actual answer to my question. All it did was confuse me more.

“Okay...” I digressed. “Well, where are we?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Me answered cryptically. “Tell me, what is the last thing you remember before coming here?”

I paused for a moment, having to think that over. All these memories came rushing to my brain, but they felt so distant and long ago. Why do they still feel like the last memory I had?

“I...” I tried to gather my thoughts to convey into words. “I was at my girlfriends house. We got in a fight. I remember having a lot to drink, and I... I remember driving away, but... I don’t remember getting home. Why can’t I...”

A sudden realization struck me.

“W-wait, where... am I... am I really..?”

Me smiled, or at least I think they did. It certainly felt like it.

“Yes.” They replied. “On April 2nd, 2019, at approximately 9:52 PM Pacific Standard Time, you crashed your truck into a tree located about 3 miles from your targeted destination.”

I froze. Words failed to escape my mouth. Feelings couldn’t even be comprehended. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t laugh. I couldn’t feel anything. I didn’t even know if it was possible anymore. There was a burning question left on my mind.

“So... is this heaven then?”

“Heaven...” Me responded. “Heaven is a place where all of your dreams are your own reality, you are always in a state of pure euphoria, there is only one emotion; joy. Now tell me Matthew, do you feel joyous right now?”

I’m not even sure why they would ask that. After all the news they unloaded on me, how could I feel joyous? But if I wasn’t joyous, then...

“... No.” I responded. “So... does that mean I’m in hell?”

After my recent behavior, I guess I’d deserve nothing more.

“Hell...” Me answered. “Hell is a place where all of your nightmares are your own reality, you are always in a state of unending pain, there is only one emotion left; fear. Tell me Matthew, are you afraid right now?”

The question felt so obvious. Of course I would be afraid after hearing what he just said.

But for some reason, I didn’t feel that way. My brain was telling me I SHOULD feel that way, but I just couldn’t comprehend the feeling anymore. I couldn’t comprehend anything anymore.

“I...” I slowly answered. “... No... No I’m not.”

Me chuckled back at me. Out of thin air, they pulled a piece of paper and a pen.

“Now Matthew.” They instructed. “I want you to take this paper and pen. And I want you to write down all of your regrets. Even the most minuscule of regrets, all of the ones you can think of.”

They lay the page in front of me. It was at that moment that I realized I was sitting in a chair at a desk the entire time. Or maybe I wasn’t. I wasn’t paying attention to that I guess.

Now I stared at the blank sheet. All of my regrets... I guess I should start with the obvious one. I regret driving in the intoxicated state I was in. I regret getting in that stupid fight in the first place. I couldn’t even remember what it was about anymore. She was mad at me over something, but I know she was only mad because she loved me. I guess I regret not realizing that sooner.

I regret not seeing my mom and dad as much as I should have. They did so much for me growing up. We didn’t always live in the best circumstances, but they always gave everything they could to keep me happy. Really they worked harder than I ever gave them credit for. I can’t even remember the last conversation I had with them. I think my mom told me to remember to get a congratulations card for my Aunt Lauras wedding. I didn’t respond. I didn’t get a card for her either. I hope they don’t postpone the wedding to have my funeral. I don’t think I really deserve it. I think the last thing I said to my dad was something about the Mariners game. We were supposed to go to the upcoming one together. I guess that ship has sailed now.

I regret not making it to my brothers birthday party. He’s a bit younger than me, and I really can’t stand any of his friends. But I got along with him just fine. He deserved to at least have me there. But I skipped it to stay home, get drunk, and watch a movie alone. I think I told him I had to work overtime. I wonder if he knew it was a lie too.

I started to list smaller things. I regret never trying Baskin Robins. I was always a Cold Stone guy, but my girlfriend always wanted to try Baskin again. We never went. I regret never seeing Black Panther. Everyone said it was good, I just never was really interested in it. I regret not going on that road trip with my best friends. I had to work the days they left. I should have known they took priority over my job. I was too scared of getting fired. My boss and I were already on bad terms as is. On that note, I regret not working harder at work. I could have run that place had I put more effort into it. But all I wanted to do was get by off of the bare minimum. Why did I do that anyway? Why was I so lazy about doing things I felt I could love? That’s probably why my band never took off. I regret never spending enough time writing music. I had a talent for it, or at least everyone else thought so. But now it’s wasted.

I regret never getting a dog. My parents always told me it was too much responsibility, but I still always wanted one. I would have been a great owner. If I made the time I could have been at least. Did I even have the time? Probably. Maybe I wasn’t willing enough to put more time in. Or maybe that’s just what my parents believed. I wanted a golden retriever puppy named Sparky. I was gonna teach it how to fetch, how to roll over, how to sit on command... I never even got the chance for that.

I regret not making it to marriage. We had talked around it but I could never work up the courage to ask her. We had been together for a good 5 years then, I knew she was waiting for me to ask. I regret never being able to become a husband. Never being able to become a father. She always wanted kids, but I was never so sure. Now it’s all I can think about. Ironic, I know. Now all I can think about is watching my kid take their first steps, fall down, get back up, go to school, fall in love, make mistakes, learn from them through my guidance, graduate, live their lives... but because of my stupidity tonight, now they’ll never have that chance. Now I’LL never have that chance.

I regret skipping my grandfathers funeral. I was so broken at the time, I didn’t know how to cope with it. I just didn’t want to be seen in that state. I figured if my family saw me crying, they’d try to help me. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted my grandfather back.

I don’t know how long I was writing. Time didn’t seem to have any meaning anymore. Anytime I ran out of space, Me would hand me another sheet to write on. I kept going on like that about every mundane thing I could think of. My hand never cramped, not sure if it even could though.

Finally, I finished everything I could think of, even dating back to sitting by and befriending the kid in first grade who would end up bullying me later on in life. When I was finished, I handed all the pages to Me. Me took them, and began to look them all over. I watched back, slightly embarrassed by some of the things they may be reading.

“Mm.. yes... I see.” Me commentated. “Very interesting.”

Without another word, me ripped the entire stack in half, and threw it in a waste bin next to us.

“H-HEY!” I yelled, lunging for the trash bin. But when I looked inside, it was empty. I looked back up at them, who just stared back. I sat back in my chair.

“You’re here now. There is no place for regret. You made the decisions you made, and now there is no turning back.”

“Wouldn’t that be a perfect reason to be regretful?” I asked.

“No. Had you truly regretted them, you would have done then sooner, right?”

“Well I didn’t-“

“Think you’d be here so soon?” Me interrupted. “Let me guess, ‘there’s always next time?’”

I didn’t want to admit, but I found myself saying that very often.

“All these things you wrote down, you don’t truly regret them. You only do now that you can’t go back and right your wrongs. You were complacent in making the same choice every second of everyday. I’m sure your girlfriend never pressured you about marriage because there was always tomorrow. Now you’re gone, out of her life forever. And she never got the chance to have her dream family with you.”

I was speechless. Everything Me said was true, and it burned to even think of admitting it. Normally I would have swung a fist at them, but I didn’t think it would matter here.

“But she gets a second chance.” Me continues. “She will learn from these regrets, and she will find someone new to share a family with. Had this happened to you, you would have been broken forever, never trying to find someone new, even if that was the dream you had.”

“Well I never got the chance now did I?” I challenged.

“Yes. You did. Every day you didn’t propose, every day you didn’t go buy a dog, every day you didn’t get your aunt a card, you were making the conscious decision to avoid your responsibilities, even when you knew they would make you happy. Why did you do this? Because you knew you always had tomorrow. Well, now you’re here. You wasted all those tomorrows, and that was your decision alone.”

Everything I said, Me would challenge me and shut me down. It was even worse that they were right about everything.

“So now what?” I asked.

“Now you can only hope that everyone else learns from your mistakes, and lives their lives when they have it.”

“So what, I’m just the catalyst for everyone else to learn from?”

“We all have a role to play in this world Matthew.” Me answered. “Perhaps this is yours to play.”

I sighed, slouching down in my chair.

Out of thin air, Me pulled a monitor and placed it on my desk.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“You clearly still hold onto these regrets.” Me replied. “This will show you the lives of everyone you touched, after you left their world. You can watch them perhaps remedy the mistakes you left behind. Maybe your brother will go to the baseball game with your father instead, and that will be a moment they cherish forever. Perhaps your girlfriend will remarry. This is where you can find out.”

I stared at the screen. I saw a series of moments from my friends and families lives. I saw police officers at my girlfriends house. She began weeping into one of their arms. I saw the same sight with my parents. My friends. My bandmates. My coworkers. They all responded in different ways. Even the people I didn’t think I mattered to responded with at the least a sad face. I couldn’t believe what I was watching.

I watched my funeral. So many people gathered around, talking about me, and how much they cherished me. I saw my own body in the casket. My dad talked about what a hard worker I was. He talked about how he cherished the moments we would go to the shooting range, or work on our trucks together, or watch whatever sports game that happened to be on. My mother praised me for being a goodhearted man who everyone got along with. My brother talked about how good I was at guitar, and how jealous he was that I was so gifted with music. He vowed to learn guitar in my stead. My girlfriend spoke in between weeps about how we were to get married, and how she feels bad for pressuring me about kids. She said she feels it was her fault I didn’t propose to her sooner. After that, she begins to cry, and my mother slowly guides her off stage.

“No...” I say, void of any emotion. I’m not sure what I’m even feeling anymore. “That’s not true. That’s not true! I-I was just stupid! Please, tell her it wasn’t her fault!”

“It’s too late for that.” Me responds. I kind of expected that response anyway.

“Will she ever have kids after this? I-I don’t want to be the reason she...” My words trail off, feeling too weak to finish them.

Me gestures to the screen.

“Would you like to find out?” They say mysteriously. I gaze back at the screen. “When you feel you’re finished, take my hand. And I will take you to where you are meant to be.”

I stared at the screen, watching the end of my funeral, seeing people get in their cars and drive away. Do I want to see all of this transpire? Would it be right? I don’t even feel like I deserve these people.

Looking at the screen, I see my best friend put his arm around my girlfriend, who leans into him. They walk to his car, and he opens the passenger seat for her to climb in. He walks over to the drivers seat, gets in, and begins to drive off.

It was clear after that moment; they’d be better off without me. It would be too painful to watch all of this go on without me. Besides... maybe this way, she’ll be happier. She’ll be happier... without me.

“No...” I respond. “I... I think I’ve seen enough.”

Me stretches their hand out. “Are you sure? You cannot come back here after you’ve decided.”

“Yeah.” I stand my ground. “Besides-“ I reach out and grab Me’s hand “- I saw everything I needed to see from that. They’ll be okay.”

Me responded with a smile. They lifted me off my chair, and suddenly we were gently lifting away. I watched the desk get smaller and smaller by the second. I looked back at me... Me... me... it was me. After that sight, all I can remember is feeling warm.

END

[howtoloseweightfastsafely]

Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

The strange secret I learned from a Senegalese taxi cab driver in Manhattan that re-wired my brain and smacked me back to reality (these words of wisdom will help you finally put aside your fears and live the life of your dreams)

It started at 2 p.m. on Saturday in New York City, in the heat of August.

The blistering sun seemed to be piercing right through my skin, completely ignoring the fact that I was sitting in the backseat of a covered taxi cab.

I guess it didn't help that I was also leaning smack dab up against the window.

In any case, I was understandably not in a good mood.

The heat only added to the anger and anxiety boiling in my brain from being stuck in weekend Manhattan traffic, where a 15 minute drive can easily turn into a 50 minute nightmare.

For a moment, I even entertained the thought that a brisk walk would get me to my destination faster than this godforsaken taxi cab.

But alas, a walk would've taken me 40-50 minutes, and a long walk with luggage in tow in 95 degree heat just didn't sound all too appealing at the moment.

I did have to come to terms, though, with the fact that time was winding down fast.

I now had less than 15 minutes until my 2:49 p.m. train to Long Island left from Penn Station.

Missing the train meant missing a ride to a relative's wedding out on the island.

And this relative was also a friend from my youth, whom I hadn't seen in over 8 years at this point. Understandably, I had zero intention of missing the festivities.

So when my seemingly knowledgeable cab driver drove 2 blocks past 34th street, where we should've made a turn, I flipped out.

I unleashed a torrent of anger, directed solely towards him.

"HEY! You missed the turn!! I thought I told you I'm going to Penn Station and that I'm running late. Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!"

He replied, "Hey man there's some traffic that way since they blocked ---"

Before he could finish his sentence, I responded with:

"I don't give a shit what they blocked off. You probably have no clue what the heck you're talking about. Do you even know where Penn Station is??"

What happened next was akin to being backhanded by an angry Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his prime, hopped up on steroids.

My cab driver screamed back with a fervent zeal that I'll remember for years to come.

"HEY, you better calm down man. Why are you so mad?? You'll catch your damn train. And if you don't, then what? What are you going to do? Huh? Huh?? What's going to happen to you if you don't catch your train? Are you going to die? Is it the end of the world? What is it??"

"You're young, man. Just chill. Everything will be OK. Be happy. You're alive. Don't worry so much. So much goes wrong in this world. You never know what can happen, and you're going to drive yourself crazy for missing a damn train?"

"It's sad, but tragedies happen all the time. For all you know man, that train could crash and you could die. Then what? Then you'll have wished you didn't make it there on time."

 "You just don't get it. Life isn't always so simple. You work so damn hard for a brand new car, and then you get hit by a truck when you turn the corner. You kill yourself over a girl that you love, and then something goes wrong, and she takes all your money. You lose everything. Every moment is a blessing. Work hard, be the best you can, help your family and pray. Just pray and accept that everything happens for a reason. If you miss the train, god has a reason for it. People run like crazy to catch their plane and then it drops out of the sky. Relax, be calm, be positive. Everything will be ok.

"And look, man. If you don't die in this crazy way, there is only one thing that will get you.

Stress. Stress is the killer."

Then, he ended with something that I'll never, ever forget.

"I saw this with my kids too. You just never know what will happen. I mean you can think life is so good, and you build a home with a beautiful wife and your kids. And then it all burns to the ground. You never know, man. Treat every moment like a blessing. Like it's your last."

I was floored.

I didn't know what to think of when he said that. I still don't.

I especially zeroed in on what he said last. I don't know for sure if the "house burning down" was just another of his examples, lost in the mix of the other points he was trying to get across.

Or if it was his reality.

And while I regret to say it, I do think that this last example was his reality. I didn't have the heart to ask further but, from the way in which he said it plus based on other things he told me, it seemed that he had lost his wife and children in a house fire.

And both at the moment, and even looking back now as I write this, I truly believe this man has seen some terrible, terrible things.

Beyond losing his whole family, I believe this man has seen more death and faced more pain than 95% of us.

That everything he loved and cherished was taken from him.

And that he realizes all he has left is himself, and the opportunity to be happy. The opportunity to enjoy life at the moment, and to treat every moment like it's his last.

What he told me about his background corroborates my understanding of his experience even more.

He told me that he originally was born in Senegal. That he was raised and lived there for quite a long time, and that he was married and had 2 boys there. And that he had now been in American for 25 years.

From what I surmised, he looked to be about late 50s, maybe early 60s. So I figured he had left Senegal in his mid-20s or early 30s. In my analysis of this conversation, I kept coming back to remember his use of the past tense at certain times. I especially cued in on him saying that he "was married, and had 2 boys in Senegal".

It hurt to hear this, and it hurts to look back at it now. But when I combine this past tense statement and the house fire example he gave me...a strong part of me thinks that sometime in his late 20s, before he came to America, he lost his wife and 2 boys in a fire. Otherwise, I am almost certain he would've said "I have 2 boys".

You see, behind the thin, wiry, gentle-faced Senegalese man, with curly, graying hair, I saw a man who seemed as if he had been to hell and back.

And this pain showed itself, at its greatest, during his long, powerful talk.

He was, at his core, a man who really wanted to be happy, and who really wanted to see other people happy.

And on this day, he just couldn't take seeing a young, 24 year old man like me being so stressed, worried and rushed to catch a train that may kill me for all I know.

His riveting story shocked me, and taught me an innumerable number of lessons. It was a divine miracle in my eyes to have the opportunity to hear this man talk.

This 30 minute cab ride turned out to be one of the most powerful moments of my life, and it has significantly impacted the way I think, talk, act, and live.

This man drilled into my head many things that I had heard hundreds of times, but could never apply...

He taught me that I really don't know what life will bring me, but that I will be OK in the end.

He taught me that life is a miracle, and it is something to be cherished.

He taught me to take nothing for granted, and to always be grateful for the people and things I have in my life, no matter how insignificant they may seem at times.

He taught me that I have to do my absolute best in each and every moment, and to be the best person I can be, both for myself and others.

And he taught me that everything will be OK, as long as I relax, be positive, and have faith.

That no matter what happens, I'll be OK. That when I'm facing an insurmountable task, or I feel like I can't do anything right, everything will be OK.

That there's no need to worry about things that are completely out of my control. And in doing this, I can let go.

I can let go of any pressures or insecurities, and just relax and do what I have to do to overcome my fears, follow my passions, and live the life of my dreams.

And in doing so, I can finally be happy, joyous, and free.

The way I see it, if a man who lost everything can still find a way to be happy, there's no reason I can't either, there's no reason you can't, and there's no reason anyone in the world can't. If we change the way we think, we can change our lives completely, even in the worst of circumstances.

 Interested in losing weight? Then click below to see the exact steps I took to lose weight and keep it off for good...

Read the previous article about "Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality"

Read the next article about "Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality"

Moving forward, there are several other articles/topics I'll share so you can lose weight even faster, and feel great doing it.

Below is a list of these topics and you can use this Table of Contents to jump to the part that interests you the most.

Topic 1: How I Lost 30 Pounds In 90 Days - And How You Can Too

Topic 2: How I Lost Weight By Not Following The Mainstream Media And Health Guru's Advice - Why The Health Industry Is Broken And How We Can Fix It

Topic 3: The #1 Ridiculous Diet Myth Pushed By 95% Of Doctors And "experts" That Is Keeping You From The Body Of Your Dreams

Topic 4: The Dangers of Low-Carb and Other "No Calorie Counting" Diets

Topic 5: Why Red Meat May Be Good For You And Eggs Won't Kill You

Topic 6: Two Critical Hormones That Are Quietly Making Americans Sicker and Heavier Than Ever Before

Topic 7: Everything Popular Is Wrong: The Real Key To Long-Term Weight Loss

Topic 8: Why That New Miracle Diet Isn't So Much of a Miracle After All (And Why You're Guaranteed To Hate Yourself On It Sooner or Later)

Topic 9: A Nutrition Crash Course To Build A Healthy Body and Happy Mind

Topic 10: How Much You Really Need To Eat For Steady Fat Loss (The Truth About Calories and Macronutrients)

Topic 11: The Easy Way To Determining Your Calorie Intake

Topic 12: Calculating A Weight Loss Deficit

Topic 13: How To Determine Your Optimal "Macros" (And How The Skinny On The 3-Phase Extreme Fat Loss Formula)

Topic 14: Two Dangerous "Invisible Thorn" Foods Masquerading as "Heart Healthy Super Nutrients"

Topic 15: The Truth About Whole Grains And Beans: What Traditional Cultures Know About These So-called "Healthy Foods" That Most Americans Don't

Topic 16: The Inflammation-Reducing, Immune-Fortifying Secret of All Long-Living Cultures (This 3-Step Process Can Reduce Chronic Pain and Heal Your Gut in Less Than 24 Hours)

Topic 17: The Foolproof Immune-enhancing Plan That Cleanses And Purifies Your Body, While "patching Up" Holes, Gaps, And Inefficiencies In Your Digestive System (And How To Do It Without Wasting $10+ Per "meal" On Ridiculous Juice Cleanses)

Topic 18: The Great Soy Myth (and The Truth About Soy in Eastern Asia)

Topic 19: How Chemicals In Food Make Us Fat (Plus 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply)

Topic 20: 10 Banned Chemicals Still in the U.S. Food Supply

Topic 21: How To Protect Yourself Against Chronic Inflammation (What Time Magazine Calls A "Secret Killer")

Topic 22: The Truth About Buying Organic: Secrets The Health Food Industry Doesn't Want You To Know

Topic 23: Choosing High Quality Foods

Topic 24: A Recipe For Rapid Aging: The "Hidden" Compounds Stealing Your Youth, Minute by Minute

Topic 25: 7 Steps To Reduce AGEs and Slow Aging

Topic 26: The 10-second Trick That Can Slash Your Risk Of Cardiovascular Mortality By 37% (Most Traditional Cultures Have Done This For Centuries, But The Pharmaceutical Industry Would Be Up In Arms If More Modern-day Americans Knew About It)

Topic 27: How To Clean Up Your Liver and Vital Organs

Topic 28: The Simple Detox 'Cheat Sheet': How To Easily and Properly Cleanse, Nourish, and Rid Your Body of Dangerous Toxins (and Build a Lean Well-Oiled "Machine" in the Process)

Topic 29: How To Deal With the "Stress Hormone" Before It Deals With You

Topic 30: 7 Common Sense Ways to Have Uncommon Peace of Mind (or How To Stop Your "Stress Hormone" In Its Tracks)

Topic 31: How To Sleep Like A Baby (And Wake Up Feeling Like A Boss)

Topic 32: The 8-step Formula That Finally "fixes" Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested (If You Ever Find Yourself Hitting The Snooze Every Morning Or Dozing Off At Work, These Steps Will Change Your Life Forever)

Topic 33: For Even Better Leg Up And/or See Faster Results In Fixing Years Of Poor Sleep, Including Trouble Falling Asleep, Staying Asleep, And Waking Up Rested, Do The Following:

Topic 34: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 35: Part 1 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 36: Part 2 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 37: Part 3 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 38: Part 4 of 4: Solution To Overcoming Your Mental Barriers and Cultivating A Winner's Mentality

Topic 39: How To Beat Your Mental Roadblocks And Why It Can Be The Difference Between A Happy, Satisfying Life And A Sad, Fearful Existence (These Strategies Will Reduce Stress, Increase Productivity And Show You How To Fulfill All Your Dreams)

Topic 40: Maximum Fat Loss in Minimum Time: The Body Type Solution To Quick, Lasting Results

Topic 41: If You Want Maximum Results In Minimum Time You're Going To Have To Work Out (And Workout Hard, At That)

Topic 42: Food Planning For Maximum Fat Loss In Minimum Time

Topic 43: How To Lose Weight Fast If You're in Chronic Pain

Topic 44: Nutrition Basics for Fast Pain Relief (and Weight Loss)

Topic 45: How To Track Results (And Not Fall Into the Trap That Ruins 95% of Well-Thought Out Diets)

Topic 46: Advanced Fat Loss - Calorie Cycling, Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting

Topic 47: Advanced Fat Loss - Part I: Calorie Cycling

Topic 48: Advanced Fat Loss - Part II: Carb Cycling

Topic 49: Advanced Fat Loss - Part III: Intermittent Fasting

Topic 50: Putting It All Together

Learn more by visiting our website here: invigoratenow.com

[backseat-imagines]

The recent imagine is amazing,but I'm not a big fan of angst..If u have time,could you make the fluff version of the imagine?

Dear anon, I said I would be back with a lighter-hearted version of this post, and I always try to stick to my word so here it is!(Forgive me or any mistakes, there are bound to be more than usual with the dizziness still kicking in off and on. Also his will be under a readmore because this is getting really long)

  It had been months since Noctis had seen them. And in this whole time there wasn’t even a faint whisper of their name being carried in the wind; not anywhere in Leide, or Accordo, and certainly not in Duscae either.  Until today.  Noctis gazed out deep into the horizon. The fog of the afternoon blanketing over and covering the scenery of the distant forests. A chilled but gentle wind kissed over his skin.  For the first time in what seemed to be forever, the world was quiet.  It had been a while since he had a moment alone to himself like this, where he could savor the quiet of town. It allows him to think- about home, about his father, his duty, Luna… and thoughts of them momentarily slip into his head.  Where did they go? Whatever became of them? Were they gone too- No, that’s not a thought he wanted to entertain.  Noctis closed his eyes. If he closed them hard enough, he could swear he heard their voice- “Noctis?”- In fact it sounded so much like they were behind him, even now… “Noctis, you’re not paying attention are you?”  Noctis’s eyes jolted open when he felt a tap at his shoulder- and in that moment he knew that this wasn’t just wishful thinking. “It’s you!” he says with excitement in his voice as he turns to face them.   Part of him wants to reach out for them and hug them, to hold them in his arms like he had before. But it’s been so long, and after the last time they probably don’t view him the same any more. Even if he’s back to being on good grounds with them since he’s found out the reason, the feeling likely wasn’t completely mutual. For now, all that matter was they were right here in his presence.  They’re tired and worn, with heavy bags under their eyes. Skin dry; cracking and splitting on their hands. Dirt spackled over them. It’s clear to Noctis that they had been stuck traveling on foot- even though they were clearly exhausted, they still seemed to hold their head up higher than before. But now wasn’t the time to bring their appearance into anything. “Speak of the devil, I was just thinking about you.”  They cocked a brow, “Nothing too bad, I hope.”  “Ah- no.” He nervously scratches at the back of his neck, “Not at all actually.”  “Good, because after our last meeting I figured opinions might not exactly be the highest.” They let out a light chuckle. “Speaking of which, you’re taking me being here a lot differently than I expected.”  “Well, if I didn’t know the why’s, I might not have been taking it so well.”  “Oh… you heard huh?”  “Well you didn’t tell me, so I had to figure it out somehow. I just wish you would have told me about that before.” The tone of Noctis’s voice sounds disappointed, almost chastising in a way. Their head tilted down; it stung.  “Yeah about that… I’m sorry I didn’t before. But at least I’m here to give the news now.”  “News?” Noctis inquired. As if his focus wasn’t on them already, his stare was now fixed and attentive; he was eager to hear, “ Is it about the Empire? What about your friends?”  “Maybe things didn’t end up the prettiest as it can get…” They began, “but at least it’s resolved in some way. Meaning that unfortunately now they might be after my head but I’m yours again if you’d have me.”  Noctis begins to nod at them. A small smile forming on his lips as the last handful of words leave their mouth.  “Alright. I might have to have a talk with the rest of the guys, but I’m willing to put my trust in you once more.”  “Good, I was hoping you’d let me back in because I have even more news for you.”  And his very first thought was an ‘uh-oh’. This time he started to brace himself, because he’s so used to bad news following up the good. “Oh?”  They took a sharp inhale of air through their nose and slowly exhale, briefly covering their face with their hands and only lowering them when they finally went to speak. “Yeah, you might just have an heir coming your way.”  Noctis’s eyes went wide with shock. “Wait? What… do you mean? Heir…?” This was a joke right? He started to nervously laugh it off but the way they looked at him… he knew they were serious. “But when?”  “Well unless the Astrals decided to come down and pull some funny business, I’d say it was probably that only night when we had snuck out of camp.”  “Yeah but-”  “Noct,” they placed a hand on their hip, “If this is a problem, I can handle it on my own.”  “Ah- no, no that’s not what I was trying to get at!” He stumbles and stammers over what to say. Almost embarrassed by his reaction and poor choice of wording- he feels like he put himself into a corner. But he relaxes as soon as they tell him it was fine, they were just trying to give him a hard time, “I’m… It’s not easy news to swallow but, I’m happy? I’m nervous too but-  “I guess I’ll have to find a safe place for you; maybe you and Gladio’s sister can look after each other over in Cape Caem for a little while. Unless you already have a safe place planned?”  “Nah, no place exactly.” They say, shaking their head, “Sounds fine with me. I could use a quiet place to settle for awhile anyways. But what about you?”  “Me? I’ll still have to keep fighting on. But when this is all over, I promise we’ll come back.”  “We’ll be waiting. But until then, or at least until you have to leave,” They extend out their hand, waiting for him to take it, “Why don’t we take a walk?”

———–

  It’s in the late of night and Ignis is laying on a hotel bed; under the sheets and starting to drift to sleep.  The bed’s not like anything he had back at home, it’s not as nice or as firm, the blankets not as light or soft. But it’s a bed, and it’s doing it’s job just fine.  The door cracks in a little, letting the light from the hall peek in. He barely opens his eyes and notices a shadow moving on the wall. He thinks perhaps it’s one of the other guys in the group and he’s expecting any moment now for one of them to start talking. But they don’t.  Instead there’s a sudden sinking in the mattress in the bed beside him. And cool arms, that are in desperate need of a warming, slither around him.  Ignis smirks, “You’re late.”  That was one line they were getting all too used to and they scoffed. “You always tell me that anymore.”  “Perhaps. But you also did come late into the night.”  “As I always do for you.” They laugh once he gives them an ‘I’ll ignore you said that’.  “But I’m sorry. I’m being worked to the bone.”  “I know you are. And hopefully we can resolve this soon. For you and all the others.”  There was a few minutes of silence, where the only that could be heard was light breathing. Ignis felt himself in the middle of dozing off again right as they spoke up again. “And the three of us.”  “The three? Who would be the third?” He said, groggily.  “I was hoping for a better time to tell you, but I guess I may be a little gungho about it.  “You remember when I had been complaining about feeling sick all those days recently right?”  “Yes, I do. I remember you also puking down my front as well.” He snarkily mused.  “Ah… I’m still sorry- but about that. Turns out it was morning sickness.”  “Morning sick-” Ignis was quickly jarred out of his sleepy haze and as he slipped from their arms he sat up, almost literally throwing the covers off of himself and turned on the lamp that sat on the bedside table, “Then you are?” He paused, thinking to himself momentarily. “Then we can no longer have you play the part of the mole for us.”  “Why not?” Quickly sitting back up, they snapped at him; not bothering to keep hushed and not caring if they disturbed anyone. Ignis shushed them. “Ignis I’m so close now!”  “Close? Do you mean-”  “Ignis just give me a short bit longer! I have some other insiders who have been willing to help me, ones who have a very similar situation to me! It won’t be too much longer before we can cut loose and get everyone out. And we can help you and the rest of the guys tear through around then too!” Ignis watched how the longer they went on the more hopeful and joyous they looked. And even he had to admit that it was contagious. Even so, this was no matter to take with a simple grain of salt- this was becoming more risky. But they already knew the risks and the caution that they would have to move with. So when they finally began to plead with him- “Please! Just give us a little more time Iggy Please?”- He couldn’t help but to crack.  “If you’re that close and you have faith this all can be done… then who am I to say otherwise? When’s the soonest do you think this plan can be put into motion?”  “Likely any time after you all rendezvous with Lady Lunafreya next. After that, all you have to do is give the word and we’ll start!” They beamed.  “And will the Empire hold off from the others until then?” He asks.  “I’ll make them.”  “Then let us not focus any longer on such grim subjects and focus on the moment now.” Ignis patted the bed. “You look tired, why don’t you remain for the night and join me in rest?”

——-

  It’s over in Old Lestallum where they all decide to take a break for the day. Much of them are tired and need the day to stretch out, lest they go too stir crazy in the cramped car.  Gladiolus takes it upon himself to scout out any information. It doesn’t matter if it’s world news, monster sightings, or just anything at all.. He just wants to know what’s going on in the world around him.  It’s as Gladio is looking around town that finds the glimmering of a trinket in a shop window that catches his eyes. Normally he pays no mind to what’s in shops (not unless it’s it looks like something Iris would want), but this time? It reminds him so much of them- after all it’s their style.  And then he gets to thinking… How long has it really been? Months? And still after all this time they’re fresh on his mind. Hell, they always are. Though he’s never admitted it, that’s been an extra reason why he seems to search the towns so hard anymore. They seemingly disappeared off of the face of Eos which was god damn concerning. And he’d hate to leave things off the way they were from the last time they even shared a room… But no word was still better than bad news- there was always at least some kind of hope, even if just a sliver of it.  Gladio finds himself going into the shop. He reaches for the trinket and gets it, serving as a reminder to himself, but at the same time if he ever did see them again then he can at least use it as a way of saying he’s sorry.  It’s when Gladio steps out the door to the shop that he sees them, or at least he thinks he does. He’s sure he did. So much of the features, from the ones he could make out, made it sure look like-  Without another thought he runs off after them.  Maybe it’s not them. Maybe his eyes played a trick on him. But if he doesn’t find out now it will forever eat at him.  Gladio gets closer and closer, almost in arm’s reach now, and his hearts starting to race. He calls out their name and finally extends out his hand, grabbing them by the shoulder and coming to a quick halt as he turns them around.  “Would you look at that, It’s really you.” He gawks at the sight. Somehow looking at them feels more like a dream than a reality. After all this time and their meeting is merely by chance, and that almost didn’t set right. “Just where have you been…” Gladio’s sentence trails off when he looks downwards. And in their arms he sees a infant swaddled in a light colored cloth. The gears are already turning in his head- this couldn’t be from after they left. Was that-  The sudden sound of their voice snapped him from thoughts, “Wait, you were actually looking for me?”  “I wouldn’t be here right now if I wasn’t.”  “You were looking for me… and you aren’t trying to murder me?” They say in disbelief, “I must be dreaming or something.”  “A pretty good dream if it has me in it I’d say.”  “I don’t know, I’m sure there’s been a fair share of nightmares… But we should head back someplace better. Follow me.” Still careful but in charge of the situation; that’s one thing he’s always liked about them.  Gladio had no arguments; he just nods and follows them. Their home was small and quaint. Not in the best shape by any means, but it had to do. They ushered him to the living-room couch as they went to the other room, and came back out without the infant in hand. Must be the child’s room, he thought.  They sauntered in front of him, taking a seat in the chair across from “So what really brings you here? I know it wasn’t just for me.”  “Maybe not initially. But it is now.”  “How sweet.” His former partner rolled their eyes. “But really, why are you here?”  Gladio slowly reaches down into his pockets. His fingertips graze over the metal of the object he had just minutes ago tucked safely away, clasping around it. “I wanted to give you this.” He says, as he extends his hand out, leaning forward just enough for them to close the rest of the distance and allow him to drop it into their hand. He leaned back, and watched them to see if he earned any kind of approval.  They cocked a half-smirk and chuckled as the trinket was gently dropped into their hands. They liked it for sure, after all they had been eyeing this for the last week or so; ever since it came in. “You never were one to give things like this, so this is a pleasant surprise. Thank you Gladio.”  “Consider it as just a small piece of my apology.” He tells them.  “For what? If you’re talking about the last time, then consider it something of the past now since you’re not here to kill me- or just kick my ass down the street.”  Gladio let out a hearty chuckle.  “I can’t bring myself to do that. Not now, since I know. Speaking of which how did that all turn out? Did they let you go?”  “Yes… just not willingly. Freeing prisoners, hostages and framing others in the empire, including a higher up, doesn’t come at a free price. At least not when they find out the truth.”   For minutes they went silent. Searching their memories and recalling everything that had happened along the way. They could remember how hard their heart beated each day. How long walks or drives became when paranoia flared and they wanted to make sure no one was following. Even if no one had known of their plans, back then they felt like at any moment someone could have been watching. Those times was one founded on fear. “I was lucky enough to get out after horrendously putting a fork in the gears and taking back everything I needed to. All before they could catch me… But showing my face is playing a dangerous game now.”  “We’ll fix that for you.”  “Yeah? Too bad I can’t be apart of that myself. At least not anymore.”  “You mean since you’ve had your child-”  “Our child, yes.” They interrupted. “Can’t exactly leave my responsibility behind to go fight.”  “You sure? Be like the warriors of old?” Gladio chuckled.  “Nah they already did that and had that experience. Traditional just… isn’t for me.” Although they didn’t laugh, they still cracked a smile over his joke. God did he miss being able to get them to do that…  “Anyways, don’t you have the guys to go back to?”  “I don’t have to be there right away.” Gladio said. “Besides, I’d kind of like to catch up. If you want to that is?”  “I suppose that couldn’t hurt. Why not spend the night?”  “Spend the night huh? This isn’t a ploy to share a bed with me again?”  “Gladiolus…” They huffed, clearly unamused, “Only in your dreams, lover boy. I might be letting you into my house but I’m not trusting you so far as to let you sleep beside me… or with me. At least not right now, so you can get used to the couch.”

———

  After the last confrontation, Prompto managed to get his love to stay. At least for the time being.  Every now and then they made hushed whisperings of plans to him. Ones where they would have to leave; Prompto would be the first to admit that he didn’t like this. But maybe they were right, maybe that would be for the best?  But the thought of that scares him.  They carry the weight of the burden on their own two shoulders and he feels like he can’t do much to help them; even though they assure him that he’s doing the best by keeping them safe. The hope doesn’t glimmer in their eyes as much as it used to, and they offer him words like “it’s okay” and “everything will be fine” and those are the words he wants to tell to them instead. Especially now since sickness began to kick in on top of it.  The moon sets high in the sky. His partner had quickly exited the tent, waking him up with movement as they had fumbled to crawl through and leaving him to chase off after them,  Prompto picked up and held back some hair to keep it out of their face as they bent over by a nearby tree and started to puke up dinner from earlier.  “Sheesh, are you alright? You’ve been doing this a lot lately and I mean a lot.” Prompto said as he soothingly rubbed and patted over their back.  “Yeah, I’m sure it’s just some sort of bug. Used to get’em a lot so I know I can deal.”  “You sure?”  “I mean, there’s worse going on. Like right now.” Words as grim reminders, and Prompto winces over what they said. “I think I can manage. But now that I’m out here, and I got you all to myself; I need to have a talk with you.”  Internally, Prompto is cringing. He’s always hated “we need to talk” or any variation of that sentence. But especially now. He knows what this is going to be about.  “Prompto, I think I am going to go ahead and leave soon.” That was exactly what he thought this was going to be about.  “But why?” He asks.  “Prompto I have to. I have family I’d like for you to meet in the future, but I can only do that if I get them back first.”  “But should you really? You’re sick.”  They sigh. They knew Prompto meant well, and his heart was in a good place. But it felt as if he was missing the picture. “Please, I’ll manage. Besides it will be better if I do this now ahead of time, while I still have the chance. At least if I go back, I can try to direct them away from you all. Even if that works only just one time it will be worth it.”  He still frowns and fidgets nervously.  Prompto’s heart it sinking and he still wants to object to all of this. But he knows he won’t sway their determination…   Even the astrals with their eyes closed could see how distraught and frightful he was…  They closed the space between themselves and Prompto, gently cupping his face into their hands and pulling him in close, pressing their forehead to his.  “It will only be a little while Prompto. I promise. I’ll be back.”  “But can’t you stay? Just one more day?”  “Alright, but no more than that.”

******  Every single day after that Prompto worried and waited. Always gazing off into the horizon and waiting to see them walking over the hills or around the building corners. Time went on and on, and on.  As much as Prompto tried to hold faith in them and hold his head up high, he could still feel hope slowly slipping from his fingers. But the day that Ignis walked back into the hotel saying “I do believe someone wants to see you” was the happiest he had been in years- they were back.  Despite the new marks and the new scars that came to tell their tale, Prompto was just excited for their return “home”.  “You’re back!” Prompto nearly shrieked, running full force at them. He pulls them into a tight hug. “What happened? Is everything okay now? Tell me everything!”  Pulling away, the two of them move to the end of the hotel bed to sit down. And as they recounted everything to Prompto, he was happily nodding away. God he missed them; the sound of their voice, their gestures, the creases and wrinkles that would appear on their face as they talked or smiled.  “One last thing though.”  “Yeah?”  “This might end up seeming overwhelming, but we may just be on the nest.” They say happily.  “On the nest? Wait- you don’t mean? You mean- and you did all that while? Is it okay?” Immediately Prompto brings his concern down to their belly, bending down and meeting it eye to eye, so to speak, patting and rubbing his hands over it. “Ahh- what are we going to do though? I can’t have you getting into danger when you’re like this!”  “We’ll find something out Prompto. But why don’t we focus on what we have right now and think about the rest later?”