#that makes three of us in one town
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last time i went to my usual hairdressers, my hairdresser (who follows me on instagram) asked me why the name in my bio was aster, and i answered honestly and said i liked it better than (insert birth name here). she said she didn't know it was a name before and found it and fell in love with it through me. she said if she had another kid and it was a girl she was going to call the kid aster. she had another kid a few months ago. her name is aster .
#this is the most character building thing that has ever happened to me.#ill never stop talking about it it makes me want to cry#i mightve posted about it before i cant remember#that makes three of us in one town#i'm so happy#aster speaks#aster is full of love
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shoutout to my playthrough of p4 where i played for like a month straight, got to like a week before hollow forest, stopped playing for like a month, started playing again, got through the last week and hollow forest, started izanami's dungeon, and then got demotivated partway through and haven't played for like two months. i'll finish it someday-
#rambearling#persona 4#p4#persona 4 spoilers#i got stuck on like three bosses for two days each. and got stuck on shadow teddie for like an hour#+ got stuck on ameno-sagiri for a day and had to turn on higher exp gain through the difficulty customization to actually beat it#(him? what pronouns does the giant eyeball god use one sec-)#(the wiki uses they/it. non-binary icon poggers)#(that makes at least three persona gods that are trans /silly)#(the other two are nyx avatar (the wiki alternates between he she and it depending on the page)#and izanami (he/him is used for the gas station attendant but izanami is always referred to with she/her)#pretty trans to make your human disguise a different gender from you if you ask me-#also irrelevant but why did izanami decide to work at the gas station#local goddess takes on a probably minimum wage job at the local gas station in a town with like two cars more news at 7
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Godddddd it’s such a pain to be hyperfixating on your own ocs. It’s a fucking nightmare. I just want these guys to do their thing and tell people their stories but nOOooOoOooo I have to write it first! But that’s not the medium I want to tell it through so I have to learn how to make comics! Or animate! Liek anfucking idirot
#rant in tags#UGH#I love them. my ocs.#hyperfixation#has anyone here seen the movie Crash? where it’s a bunch of people with wildly different lives and stories somehow being all connected in#the end through their actions and inactions and just pure coincidence#that’s the kind of story I’d LOVE to make. they’re all different characters all going through their stories in the only ways they know how#but every now and again worlds collide. and the result is chaos. but eventually everyone gets back onto their own path#until they meet up with ANOTHER group of characters stuck in a story#an award-winning broom racer gets in a bad accident and her career is over. she has to move in with her sister who’s moved into a rural town#full or werewolves.#there’s a former witch granted unimaginable magical power by a fairy who uses that magic to protect and comfort the people he meets on his#travels. he even takes a few of them in when they need a home and a family.#there’s a middle-aged journalist going through the world’s messiest divorce and trying to prove herself at a job where no one will pay her#any mind. who finally gets her big break when she can sneaks into a powerful crime lords’s party and talks to the boss. they have a f#Cinderella evening until she has to leave and with the information she’s gathered she finally makes a name for herself and everything starts#going her way until the crime Lord tracks where down#there’s a sorcerer trying to recover from her past and moving forward after terrible circumstances whos just trying to find her family from#the orphanage she grew up in.#there’s a teenage mermaid who moved on land for college and realises that she’s Super out of her depth#UGHHHHHHHH#AND THIS IS ALL ONE WORLD#THIS ISNT EVEN TO START IN THE WHAT?? THREE OTHERS??
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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Can- can I start one of those homoerotic love-hate one sided vendetta type relationships with Instagram
#it's the only other social media I use and I've never found it quite as bad as what other people say#but also. there is something so fundamental wrong about it at the same time#it feels so. lifeless. and people don't use tags right.#and no one makes content for old things. and you can't like more than three of someone's posts in a row without them yelling at you for it.#and the algorithm refuses to let me see just fandom stuff. and there's no good way to look for stuff that actually interests me#but despite all that I do still use it and idk I'm probably not gonna stop using it#cus like. I do still see cool stuff there and other people seem to enjoy seeing my studd there#so. why not use it even if it's this weird not empty ghost town weird evil land of bizarreness#just me rambling
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passes away forever
#vocal synth wip#im outta town rn so im using my school laptop which is just a really old thinkpad LOL#and honestly its a great little thing decently powerful BUT it can NOT deal with machine learning voicebanks#so standard banks it is <3 i already use benbu like my life depends on it it's chill#but this does mean that any svp wips you see from me for the next little bit will be untuned because i am LAZY and i do not like#synthv's standard bank autopitch. the ai banks it depends some i like more than others. i really love rikkas#but the standard banks..... you gotta tune those urself that autopitch is ROUGH#its fun using seikas standard lite as my svp making voice tho.. she has like#this almost defoko like edge to her. i did bump up her breathiness a little but even before i did it was just an essence of defoko noise#im feeling it tho. the svp making adventures. the other day i googled how harmonies work. i still dont understand <3#BUT i do get that three semitones down or up is a really common harmony so any songs i wanna do that use simple ones like that...#i should be able to.... i should....#luckily this song from what i can hear has no harmonies. for a second i thought there was but im realizing its just strong delay <3
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Fugees have one of my top 5 albums of all time and they’ve been broken up since the nineties but they’re reuniting w/ Lauryn Hill to go on tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except they’re skipping the entire US south which means I would need to drive 7-9 hours to see them even though this tour is literally a dream come true/once in a lifetime opportunity for me. Actually genuinely considering doing it but christ is that an undertaking…eeek
#like not even a teeny lil Atlanta stop…pleeeeeeease#also I’m so sorry to ppl in regions where most artists don’t tour. my southern US struggle is peanuts compared to yours :-(#also like I have to go to Charlotte or Nasheville to see **** and that’s ugggghgggh#at least Nick Cave comes to my tiny ass town for some reason?#i mean it’s a ‘city’ but it’s a city the way that like an inclined plane is a machine. you know#unpopular opinion among my mutuals but I find the whole process of concerts to be incredibly overwhelming so I don’t go unless they’re like#my favorite artists ever and now that I don’t live in a big city like PGH/Boston the added barrier of traveling to a different city makes#it a really big commitment that’s hard for me lol#it’s bc of the autism………..#and having three come up in Sept/Oct is overwhelming me to a huge degree lol#it’s one reason I’m glad I listen to a lot of really old music lol#I have been to some shows of my friends since moving here but the last like well known artist I saw was Roger Waters like over a year ago#I saw a lot more before that though and a lot were super important artists to me and I’m glad I saw them and my bucket list is dwindling#which is so nice!!#I’ve literally seen Bob Dylan and Parliament Funkadelic like…I’m good I can retire whenever#so so so sad I’ll never see ATCQ though#luckily whichever city I decide to see Fugees in if I do end up going I have friends I can crash with and stuff#Bon Iver is one of the last on my bucket list and I would looooooooove to see Radiohead too
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one thing that always fucking Gets Me is in apocalyptic/post-apocalyptic media someone has stockpiled supplies with the intent of dying and leaving them for someone else.
#just remembered a novel i read in elementary school#where the moon is knocked into closer orbit and causes a permanent winter on earth#and one of the neighbors of the protagonist#stops eating and using fuel and water#and eventually dies from this#but left everything in her home to her neighbors and their two daughters#it's a fun sort of anger grief sadness gratefulness guilt emotional cocktail#anger at the disregard for her own wellbeing#grief and sadness at the loss#gratefulness because genuinely the food and water and wood and gas will go a long way#and guilt at the idea of being grateful that someone has suffered and died for your sake#that book was very good from what i recall#and ended with the gut punch of#if they had ever bothered to make the three mile trek into town#that the local government had built a crisis response#and were handing out bags of food#but they never knew it was there because they were too frightened to leave
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Camp 30.//.
#uploads#camp 30#this shit! ive been in both these buildings it ruled#the one on top is the one me n my friends got chased out of by a security guard once lol its dope#it has a really creepy boilerroom in the basement like three floors and doorways to the roof its so cool#and the bottom is the gym and the other half is a pool its sick#only sketchy thing was there was a spot where the floor collapsed in the corner but it was sick#and there were ramps and shit yea camp 30 was so sick#forever pissed that they boarded it all up and tore some of it down like ... they didnt even replace it with anything it makes me mad#like yeah it was maybe unsafe but it was a fun place to hangout with ur friends as a teenager#there used to be a whole other highschool on the other side of town that was abandond too but it got tore down and turned into condos#rip#wish i still had my photos from here but theyre on some ancient iphone somewhere#i just stole these off google
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Negative post / pet health stuff
Sorry for not reblogging promos after I made mine. My pets got fleas again bc my father lied about getting them new flea collars before I moved back in, so I got distracted trying to deal with that. Maybe I'll dig them up and rb them from you guys later. Idk.
#talking about it more in the tags hiiiiii hi hello. sorry. I'm just upset.#I can't drive and he won't drive me to the next town over to buy new flea collars so I had to order them online.......#it'll be three days :(((#three days of bugs in this damn house and on my animals :(((#I'm so mad and also sad#he SAID they were wearing new ones. OBVIOUSLY they aren't bc they're supposed to last 8 MONTHS#I KNEW he was lying too. I was just hoping he'd admit it and buy new ones BEFORE they got bugs again#I had to fucking. pick a bunch of fleas off my dog by hand. it makes me so upset. I hate this I hate this I hate this#we have a bit of flea deterrent / ''killer'' for on furniture left over but it doesn't really work#I used it anyway in certain pet-heavy spots#but I can't do much else until the collars come#AND. worst part? my dad's partner who lives with us has a dog but she won't let us give that dog a flea collar#so if she gets fleas she'll keep them around :((((#dad says ''no [partner] will pick them off by hand bc she cares about that dog so much'' but like#it doesn't work like that#she's gonna get fleas too :(((#they keep getting fleas bc CLEARLY we have them in the yard but we're part of an hoa so we can't do much about that#plus my dad straight up Won't do anything even if he could#at least he gave me some money to buy the collars#whatever. whatever.#roz posts#delete later
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wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?
I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.
Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.
My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.
Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"
No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.
Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.
There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?
That's not our responsibility, they said.
But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.
My niece gives me Covid.
This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.
The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.
Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.
It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.
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pov:u go into blue pe/riod goin haha i too went to art school n then u come out of the otherside holding ur head at "why did u choose art sen/sei" "i just chose a hell i could live with" and "do you even like art?" and "everybody is telling you about closure and how to move on from grief, but there's nothing wrong with holding that grief forever for the rest of your life" and "if u give it ur all and still fail, you should off urself?" and "does it even matter if your work is popular - isn't it enough for it to resonate with just the one person bc it moved them so deeply-"
#what if i htrew myself off a cliff#these days i try to tell myself art is easy (in the same way that one utuber boe/ing pilot says flying is easy) bc all it boils down to#is communication and language and it is the equivalent of writing and everything falls into place w proper research n pre-planning#all it is a practice of this to create a vehicle of visual storytelling or narration#the technicalities - color; shadows; notan; perspective - it's all grammar and rules and language and then - and then#u have to become a jazz musician u have to sing u have to belt it out with taste and style and punch walls in ways that are meaningful to u#but first u gotta know how to do ur abc's and sentence structures and then you have to have faith in ur own abilities after the fact-#ALSO GOD THE WAY A NAME MAKES EVERYTHING SO INTIMIDATING - I BEEN CONFUSED AF ABT SEEING#'MUNSELL' METHOD CROPPIN UP EVERYWHERE AND ALL IT IS IS JUST THE BREAK DOWN OF COLOR VIA#HUE - CHROMA - VALUE AND IM GOING TO BITE EVERYBODY FOR MAKING IT INTO SOME BIG MONSTER#BC IT AINT SHIT - THIS IS SIMPLY JUST THREE QUALITIES TO A COLOR THAT U USE TO TRIANGULATE THE THING U NEED#i will probably become the dunning-kruger effect w trying to convince myself that i can Do Things but w/e bro be cringe be free#Reclaim The Menu (2023)#i met a self taught artist today who also works at state parks he's living my dream#he was so cool#:skull: bro immediately pinned me down as a painter bc i was squatting down to obsessively stare at his brush strokes n color choices#vs me who will deny that i am a painter/fine artist in any capacity for 5000 yrs#but also artists who squat down to obsessively stare at brush strokes n colors: ur cringe n beware the museums bc the security guards are#going to tell u r going in way too close n u have to leave- (real life anecdote)#i have an unwarranted intensity for being so bad at art lmfao but it makes me happy when ppl look at my things n say#hey this makes me wanna draw too!#u can always rely on me to be ur hype man to go to doodle town
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Ever since Stardew Valley got the update and my mods stopped working I haven't wanted to play, but I miss the game. But I really liked the diverse version of the town and got attached to those versions of the characters. And I liked having a skateboard to get around fast. And while I never exactly got far enough with any character, I was excited for the opportunity to have a few of them move in with me as platonic roommates who all love each other but don't have sex or get married. So now I'm not sure how to reinstate all of that or if I want to go through it all again
#and there was a mod where you could have skateboard halfpipes on your farm#and all the guitars and basses and drums in your house#it would be me Alex Shane and Sam btw#my best buds#the thing with Sam especially with that mod is that he's too similar to me. You can make him trans if you want with that one#but I'm already a trans male punk rocker with a goatee who has piercings and tattoos and plays guitar and rides a skateboard#this town ain't big enough for the two of us#also I know you can have multiple pets now which is wonderful#but I already had a mod that did that and I had three cats and a corgi#and four was the amount of animals where you can't move around your own house or farm or get in or outside bc they're in the way#but if it lets me have a basset hound now then make it five animals#but what if the cats start to feel like there's too many dogs? surely one more cat can have a home on my farm
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today i visited subway. the person behind the counter was a woman i went to high school with and used to work with at the subway in our hometowns four years ago. we both attend college within twenty miles of home. i don't know her last name but i still have her number in my phone. she said "small world" but i don't think the world is small. i think we're small.
#medieval peasants would call the length between my school and my house a journey but we still say small world#we can go anywhere we can even go to space#look up at the sky. our ancestors said i want to go there. and we did and we can.#i moved 14 times before high school. but we ended up in the same town in the literal exact same house we started.#my older sister just moved back in with my parents#you can't leave. you will always come back.#people who live in towns with more than three stoplights will never ever understand#appalachia is so twisted because we only have ourselves and each other#no one else wants us. we are safe here with our clans and family and tradition.#because anyone who tries to change that is the enemy not in a cynical way in a genuine way#the only people who come into redneck towns and try to change it are capitalists who alter our fundamental way of life or#go bankrupt trying. the reason we have walmarts that you can make fun of us for using is that they drove out our local businesses#we're a community of farmers and hunters but we have to buy the wilted brown stuff from walmart because our farmers can't afford to sell#anything!!! farmers markets are special events they can't feed a community crops can't even feed a family anymore#rednecks are afraid of change because everyone who tries to change our communities just abandons us in deeper poverty#we are born to work ourselves to death.#we are delivered an elegy for a family man and buried in obscurity on our family land.#looking back now my daddy would have told that poor boy from nazareth to rub some dirt in it.#op
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rouvastre lore 🥰
#saint.txt#oc: rouvastre#ishgardposting#saving this here for my own reference#for people who aren't aware bc I never talk abt rouvastre's backstory: from arr -> hw their family was accused of heresy#similar to what happened with fran.cel but nobody saved him this time. rouvastre smuggled themselves across the grid.anian border#to escape but the inquisition tried the rest of the family at witchdrop.#in post-hw patches they were acquitted of all charges as the accusation was deemed false but in-universe people are still arguing#about it and about what happened to this day and nobody really knows for sure if it was a political move by a rival or a heretic plot#or a baseless accusation from the inquisitors that stuck bc they already hated them for what happened to the fort or what.#currently rouvastre got adopted by edm.ont after hw and the house is extinct but I go back and forth on that and haven't decided#if she keeps it or not going forward. the joke is that he ceded everything to arto.irel bc they didn't want to deal with the constant#marriage proposals from ishgardian nobility and make him deal with it in her place instead VHSFVHSF#I see west coerthas as a lot more built up and developed than as shown personally I think there should be a lot more towns and camps + fort#there's a lore sidequest in stb -> ew abt tat.aru secretly finding + buying all the heirlooms rouvastre had to sell to escape ishgard in ar#and also she fixed their coat that's used on his DRG glam (the eden one) and it was her dad's and that's why she was so obsessed#with getting good at tailoring for like three expacs#savinien was the name of the ancestor the house was founded by. just some guy who killed a dragon but like in a really cool way
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turbulent events have happened tonight
#celebrated international children's day with my high school english teacher#yes we have been friends for almost 10 years. since i was in 9th grade#yes he is 19 years older than me#talked about the old friend group which consisted about like three of us high school girls and a bunch of college guys who were all at least#4 or 5 years older than us. yes every guy crushed on the same girl at one point. i was in a relationship with the oldest of them#one of them who was tangentially in the group now has psychiatric problems. i don't know the specifics. he was to get married to this random#ass girl who got pregnant at 22/23 by another guy#idk who exactly but suffice to say they are not together anymore#we discussed my cancer situation. my ex (who apparently will love me forever) was crying a lot about it and seemed shaken up#even at their little guys christmas reunion last year#he texted me in december saying a part of me lives and will always live inside of him and that he loves me no matter what#i was honestly at a complete loss for words because we broke up 5 years ago. we literally had no future together#one of the other guys apparently said back in december that it was no use texting me encouraging words because we had drifted apart#that is the same guy i crushed on for 6 years. i still wished him a happy birthday in april tho.#it's okay because my crush on him vanished as soon as i realized he's a little piece of shit human. still likeable tho#and that is the issue. anyway. maybe i shouldn't have said piece of shit he's more like an annoying asshole which you still find endearing#talking to him now makes me realize he was never all that. high school me just thought he did really interesting things (which admittedly#were very interesting for that time and for our little town)#about my ex tho#even though i have no feelings for him anymore i think it's really beautiful that what we had is staying with him like that. i hope#it doesn't stop him from having a healthy and loving relationship in the future#i know he had multiple relationships after me but none of them really worked out. i really hope he finds that happiness#the way that i have
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