#that lesbian energy really clawed its way out of her

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

As a thought experiment… SHE’S FUCKING GAY.

The fact that CM are still trying to pretend Emily Prentiss is straight is crazy to me. LOOK at her. Her hands. Her fucking man spreading. Listen, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…

Then, lesbihonest—it’s probably a fucking duck.

Straight people don’t dress like that. Or talk like that. Or strut like that, miss wonky belt-buckle, miss chewed off nails, miss watch-inside-of-wrist, miss simp for Jennifer ‘it gives me you’ Jareau.

[coricoping]

Okay y'all, Act 2!

Moments of Happiness

Gotta be honest, not usually one of my fave songs. It usually just doesn't hit me much. This version tried to rip my heart out of my chest though

We end intermission with Old Deut and Sillabub onstage, Sillabub still holding Grizzabella's scarf. Old Deut sings basically this whole number directly to Sillabub

Deut ties Grizz's scarf around Sillabub's neck on the "many generations" line, as a whole passing of the legacy/continuation of the community thing

The other cats are around the edges of the stage but not on it or in light, contributing backing vocals but not taking any of the focus

There is a screen lowered at the back of the stage right before the song. They use it to project a tribute to the founding mothers of ballroom

The tribute names many real life figures who were instrumental to the creation of ballroom as it stands today, including (by my memory) Crystal LaBeija of House LaBeija, Dorian Corey of House Corey, Avis Pendavis of House Pendavis, Duchess La Wong of House La Wong, and Paris Dupree of House Dupree, and Angie Xtravaganza of House Xtravaganza

It ends with a recognition of Grizzabella as the founding mother of the House of Glamour and a selection of highlight clips of Tempress performing at balls throughout her career.

Gus the Theater Cat

We end our tribute to important and iconic figures of the ballroom scene by bringing on stage an actual ballroom icon, Junior LaBeija.

As is now pattern, I have to mention costumes again. Gus has a fabulous robe, a gorgeous headscarf + great hair, makeup, and giant golden jewelry claws. Jelly also gives him a pink boa

Jellylorum is younger than normal in this production, explicitly being Gus' granddaughter, and has such a lovely combination of respect/love for her incredibly impressive grandfather and snark at the parts of his stories that just seem like bragging. "He says, in his time," is delivered behind her hand turned away from Gus with a big smile

Demelurina are fully lying on each other during this number, we love lesbians here

Rumpleteazer is right up next to Gus looking so excited about all of this

There are a bunch of playbills and photos that Gus and Jelly show off

"And once I played the Rumpus cat" doesn't go into Pekes and Pollicles, but instead there is a ghost of Gus' younger self (played by Mungojerrie's actor) in a toned down version of Gus' costume

Gus dances simultaneously with the ghost as if he's remembering his youth, and it is gorgeous

When the ghost leaves at the end of that segment, Old Deut stares after it for a long time looking immensely haunted (this scene and Grizzabella's whole deal are the cornerstones of my thoughts on age in this show, which will be a post of its own)

Category Is: Opulence. An unfamiliar category for me, but seemingly judged based on presenting an image of luxury, regality, and tasteful excess. Won by Gus

Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat

Latina MTA Conductor Skimble, 10/10

Amazing wig, yellow and black stripes and long

Song is sung in alternating English and Spanish sections, which is super fun

The fake train segment is done by all of the actors packing together and pretending to be on the subway

The energy for this whole number is so good

Rumpleteazer and Skimble both give amazing dance performances here

Skimble looks offended when Rumple wins, and continues to do some really impressive posing

Eventually gives in and gives Rumple a big hug

Kinda want Rumple to be Skimble's ballroom daughter, tbh, this number has those vibes

Category Is: Old Way vs New Way. Performers must showcase elements of both Old and New Way performance. Won by Rumpleteazer, other competitors are Skimbleshanks, Mistoffelees, and Tugger

Macavity

Macavity shows up as a shadow in the upper window area, silhouetted by police lights, and drops a bunch of bags down through an open window

Demeter grabs the bags, which are revealed to be designer brand clothes. She shows them off and gets so adorably excited about it

Deme and Bomba sing about Macavity, and their tone is much more braggy than scared. Makes sense, as he is their house father. Their voices are both great

They both change into some of the designer clothes and start walking for their category, looking gorgeous

Mac comes out in a full orange ensemble, giant fur coat and all, at the climax of the song

House Dots have black and white polkadot fits, which look very good

Category Is: Labels. Fashion category judged based on the number of designer items you have on and how well you wear them. Won by House Macavity, other competitors are the members of House Dots (Jenny, Tumble, Vickie)

The Fight

House of Dots gets pissed at the loss, I hear a shouted "check my receipts" from Jenny, and some of the cats storm onstage with some of the clothes Mac brought to show that they still have anti-theft tags on them

Deut takes Mac's trophy away because of this, which makes Mac look crushed and then very quickly he covers it up with anger, gets in an argument with Deut, and storms off

The police sirens start after Macavity leaves

Deut gestures for the cats to lay all the stolen stuff at his feet, which they do with varying levels of protest/resignation

The police storm in, see Deut surrounded by the stuff,and go to arrest him.

Mungojerrie tries to lunge at an officer as they reach Deut, and has to be held back by Rumple and I think Demeter for the rest of the scene

Bustopher and Jelly pull out their phones and record the police the entire time, even when officers get up in their faces

Everyone generally looks angry, sad, and hopeless

As soon as the police get out of the building with Deut, Mac comes back in. He looks like he was planning to come apologize, he was wrecked, and he looks completely shellshocked by what he walks into.

"Macavity's not there" is spoken directly at him as an accusation by the entire tribe, and damn does it get to him. He stumbles back out, leaving the Jellicles sitting around the stage

Line change: "We have to save Old Deuteronomy," because they know where he is they just can't do anything about it

Mr Mistoffelees

Tugger looks so immensely destroyed by what just happened. This is the dude who competes and wins on his ability to maintain a tough masculine facade, and he is curled up into a little ball on the stairs, head in his hand

The start of the pre-song speaking is not hopeful. He's not excited about asking Misto when he starts out, it very much feels like this is just the only thing he thinks might help

Everyone is very dismissive of the idea, there are audible scoffs from most of the Jellicles after "don't scoff". These people are hurting, and they can't take Tugger seriously

In reaction, Tugger restarts the ball. He takes over as MC, announces the next category, and does his damndest to get everyone back into the swing of things. I have very strong feelings about this bit, but that would get too long for this summary

And then Misto comes out, and the crowd goes wild. Silk is so so pretty, and the costume!!! Tugger immediately perks up more, and the other jellicles start to get back into it

The Magic!!! Misto, in short order: pulls a streamer out of Demeter's mouth that continues getting pulled out even after he struts away, magics Jelly's new wig up to the ceiling to drop on Tugger's head (great rigging work here), and sticks two handkerchiefs into Tugger's pants and pulls them out tied around Tugger's sparkly leopard jockstrap.

Tugger’s tone on “Magical,” a line that comes directly after the handkerchief trick, cannot be considered SFW

Costuming: There is a giant fluffy coat and giant fluffy bag. Under the giant fluffy coat is a perfect adaptation of Misto's song outfit, turned from a suit into a corset situation, and covered in so many sparkles. There is also a gorgeous giant sparkly headdress that I am so tempted to try and make

Misto is strutting for this entire number, stealing pieces from the outfits of every person who comes up to try to compete against him

Silk's dancing is amazing, people should not be able to split like that

Old Deut is summoned back magically in a pretty classic covered box trick. This is pulled off very well, I did not catch the mechanics even though I generally know how that trick works

There are conjuring turns!!!

Deut comes back frozen still in the box. Everyone looks super confused. Eventually Macavity, who has slunk back in, walks up to his frozen Father looking half exasperated and half sad, waves a hand in his face, and then jumps a solid foot up and back when Deut lunges towards him a little

Also Tuggogelees makes out at the end, it's great

Category Is: Runway. In this case, a selection of fashion/look based categories including Women's (category focused on cis women) and Foot, Eye, Bag (like Labels kinda, but focused on shoes, sunglasses, and bags). Won by Mistofelees, other competitors include (but are not limited to): Jellylorum, Demeter, Bombalurina, and Macavity

Memory Pt 2

Everyone is gathering around for the Jellicle Choice, all ready to go, when Grizzabella comes through the curtain in the sparkly dress Sillabub laid out for her earlier

I like the positioning of the cast in this version. I am a giant fan of versions of this song where all the cats start out facing away from Grizz and turn around independently when they hear her sing something that convinces them specifically, but in this no one starts out looking away. They pull away to the sides, they look uncertain and huddle together, but they're still looking at her and it seems like they already want to take her back and are scared to admit it

Tempress has a gorgeous voice, and does such justice to Grizz. She looks nervous about her acceptance into the tribe, but there's so much determination & strength in her.

And when that strength breaks briefly, and she turns to walk away from the stage, Sillabub is there

It feels like this is a song that Sillabub already knew, like Grizz sang a song like this before that was happy and Sillabub is just reminding her of it by singing a verse of that version and proving that she knows and cares about Grizz both as who she is now and as who she was. They sound so good together

At the end, Deut acknowledges Grizz with the paw salute thing that all the Jellicles have been doing to each other

Tempress has a gorgeous voice

She looks nervous about if she’ll be accepted, but there’s a steely determination under it

She is here and she’s going to do this, damn it

Then that determination breaks and she turns around to leave

Sillabub

This reads as Sillabub knowing the song because Griz has sung something like it before

Like, there was a happier version she performed earlier in her life

They sound amazing together

Sillabub encourages her back onto stage, and off we go

Grizzabella is acknowledged by Old Deut with the paw salute thing, and that is the symbol of her being accepted

Heaviside Layer

There is a giant hug line. The Jellicles are so happy to see Grizz return to herself and ascend

The stairs to the Heaviside Layer are a giant fire escape that folds down from near the ceiling

When Grizz passes through the door, the sounds of a New York street play

The Addressing of Cats

Similarly to Naming, this just works so well in the themes of the show

Everyone gathers at the back of the stage by the sparkly curtains, there is a lot of pretty posing and interactions between the cats

The two ensemble, dressed as waiters, bring in champagne for the cast

Everyone's voices sound good

Bows

MC-ed by Munk in the style of a proper ball

Everyone gets their own personalized beat and a chance to strut their stuff

This includes some really damn good dancing

The conductor also gets to come out and vogue down the runway, which I love

They use Jellicle Songs as the post-bow song, not Mistoffelees like I've normally seen.

Also Old Deut is in a gown, I think this is important to mention

My Conclusions

If you can't tell, I loved this

I have a lot of thematic (ageism, naming, gender, etc) and character-specific thoughts to express in later posts that I won't clutter this with

Being in the audience of this show was such a powerful experience of queer joy. I'm not sure I can actually express how good it felt to see people who love and live the way I do on stage being celebrated with such enthusiasm, and having that happen using a show I already love made it even better.

The cast and crew of this show worked their asses off, and every bit of it paid off. I'd like to give specific crew shout-outs to Qween Jean (the costume designer) and Nikiya Mathis (the hair and wigs designer) for never once missing and delivering an amazing set of looks.

CATS: The Jellicle Ball Summary

Sourced from my (admittedly imperfect) memory. I love this production, and this is an abridged summary of my memory of the events of the show. Specific/detailed character thoughts will be saved for their own posts, same with thematic deep dives. If there is any character/theme/question y'all want my thoughts on first, I can move them to the top of my queue of thoughts. That being said: on with the show!

Tumblr decided to post early, so this is just Act 1. I will add Act 2 as a reblog when I finish it

Pre-Show

The set for this show is really well done. Talked to one of the workers during intermission, and the whole thing (seating, stage, and all) is completely modular and movable. Floor levels are also all adjustable. It really inclines itself to audience interaction, both with the runway structure and the individual tables at the cabaret level seats.

Junior Labeija handles the pre-show announcements (put your phones away once you've googled me, cheer your heart out, don't film, etc)

Overture

Hearing this live for the first time made me cry

The DJ's introduction is great, he has a collection of queer and black artists' vinyls that he pulls out, followed by a Cats vinyl filled with glitter

The eyes (projected up onto the back wall/window panel) have the white cat solo animated inside of them

Shadow outline of a dancer (I think Primo/Tumble on the night I saw) starting out w/ ears and a tail doing classic Cats-style choreo blending into a removal of the ears/tail and a shift to ballroom choreo

Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats

Did the thing I love for this song where there are clear and well-timed spotlights on every cat as they sing their line, w/ everyone else in darkness

Cast appears throughout the audience (Tugger was behind me at his start, I think) before gathering into the area around the stage

Get onto stage for the Mystical Divinity section

The group catwalk is absolutely gorgeous, this show has great choreo

The Naming of Cats

The perfection of this song for a queer viewing of Cats cannot be overstated, and will likely be its own post eventually

Munk as an MC leading this number is lovely to me

"Man over there" is given to Macavity, as the first clear indication to his altered role in this version

There are spotlights on every cat whose name gets said in the song, not just Bombalurina, which makes me happy

White Cat Solo

Gets its own segment because Baby is that good. She is dance captain for this show and you can see why

The white outfit here is gorgeous, kinda sad she changes out of it later

Pink lighting is doing good work making this section feel ethereal

Was way closer to the vibes of the original than I was expecting from a vogue choreo. There were a couple moves I saw as clear references to the original

Invitation

Emcee Munk continues to be amazing, the rhythm of this was very satisfying

"COME OUT tonight"

They bring in guest judges to sit until Old Deut arrives

Gumbie Cat

Jenny is a tired single mother of three kids who cannot for the life of them get organized

Puerto Rican drag queen Jennyanydots has my heart, as does her stylist

The "sits and sits and sits" line here is not used to imply that Jenny is lazy, it is very explicitly saying that she has a lot of sex (as acted out jokingly by her choreo)

Cassandra is adorable here, both while dancing and after she realizes she's won

Category Is: Virgin Vogue. A category for people in their first year of doing vogue (or similar). Won by Cassandra of House Dots, other competitors are Tumblebrutus of House Dots, Electra 007, and someone I am currently forgetting

The Rum Tum Tugger

I think I've made my love for this setup for Tugger clear before, and will continue to do so in the future, so this is gonna be little moments I liked/noticed

There are some line/blocking switch ups. Bomba gets the "terrible bore" line (said reclined on the stage as Tugger leans over her) along with her standard. Victoria is the girl flirting with Tugger on his "No" drop

Tugger flirts with everyone here. His competition, the other cats, the audience, etc.

Everyone but Misto, who is off to the side mocking his riffs

Sillabub is the one to faint during the ending bit

Category Is: Realness. Ability to pass as a (in this case) a cishet man in a variety of categories (pretty boy, thug, schoolboy, executive, etc). Won by Tugger, other competitors are Tumblebrutus and Mungojerrie

Grizzabella the Glamour Cat

I really like the interpretation of the Jellicles' relationship with Grizz in this show. They aren't angry at her, more...distressed? It seems like her being around is making everyone worried both about her and for her, so they react differently

Munk tries to give her money, she refuses

She comes in holding a trophy that is clearly old, showing that her glory days were a while ago. She also looks like she's likely been homeless.

Demeter's voice is gorgeous here, and she looks really conflicted about Grizz

There is a Demelurina vibe to this whole show, which I started noticing here

I have a lot of thoughts on Grizz and her relationships with the Jellicles here, which will probably be a post pretty soon after this one.

Grizz tries and fails to convince the judges to allow her to compete, and is far more determined/steely in this first appearance than usual.

Sillabub. Making them a giant Grizzabella fan was such a good choice. This is one of the most sweet and genuine through-lines of the musical. They're so genuinely remorseful and excited to see Grizz, but still back off when Demeter warns them.

Bustopher Jones

I know I gave Jenny my heart earlier, but it's been stolen. Nonbinary Bustopher Jones as played by Nora Schell is, I think, the ideal Bustopher. This is what this character was meant to be, for me

Oh gods the costumes. Tugger has a sparkly leopard print jockstrap. Bustopher has a full bustier situation covered in a bedazzled Union Jack. Mistoffelees and Demeter both have lovely sheer situations going on. This is amazing, and I've been informed is even better if you're bi

Nora Shell has pipes, y'all. Their voice is so strong and clear

This number has almost no true choreography, it's just the competitors showing off how hot they are (posing, strutting, stripping, grabbing their asses and shaking them at the judges, etc)

The amount of offense Tugger takes to losing is hilarious to me

Category Is: Body. Usually divided into Femme Queen and Butch Queen, but competed as an Open-to-All for this show. How good does your body look, and how well can you show it off? Won by Bustopher Jones, other competitors are Tugger, Demeter, and Mistoffelees.

Macavity Scare 1

Flashing lights and sirens

Demeter is so done with this. I have rarely heard a clearer "bitch really?" tone than I did in her calling Macavity's name here

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Making them come from Jersey is amazing, top tier choice paired with some amazing accent work

Costumes are again amazing, Mungoteazer have a lime green/neon pink color scheme going on here

They spend a long time behind some changing racks, and I spent that whole time watching Munk as he got more and more annoyed with every passing second

I really love the dancing in this song, they get very up in each other's faces

Y'all, they steal the trophy when they lose. It's perfect

Category Is: Tag Team Performance. Vogue performance done as a pair. Won by Victoria and Tumblebrutus, stolen by Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

Old Deuteronomy

Munkustrap: a professional, on his shit, announcing his House Father right

Tugger: unprepared, eating a snack, oh god why is he giving me the mic

I love the setup for the duet here, Tugger is so surprised to be picked and is both nervous and honored. They sing into the same mic y'all

Andre De Shields, what more do I need to say?

His presence, his voice, the note he held for a solid 30 seconds, he deserves that throne

Jellicle Ball

Macavity again! In his dressing gown, with his bags of stolen stuff, looking like a deer in headlights when the spotlight catches him

The dancing continues to be absolutely gorgeous

Grizzabella is up on an audience balcony for this number looking tragic

The Jellicle Moon is a disco ball and it brought me so much joy

Munk has a killer egyptian look, including full-size wings

There are giant complicated cat face wigs and a giant hat made of hair

Category Is: Bizarre. Fashion category judged on the quality and strangeness of the outfit. Munkustrap was the only competitor, and Old Deut chopped him

Category Is: Hair. Not a category I actually know, but clearly in this show is judging based on the size, design, and quality of wigs. Won by the House of Dots, as sole competitors

Probably other categories I didn't notice clearly enough to remember

Memory

Grizzabella comes on and everyone walks off annoyed, except for Old Deut who comes and hides behind a riser. He's right in front of me, so I'm watching this number over his shoulder

Grizz recreating her dance moves is painful for my heart, as usual

Tempress has a gorgeous voice

Sillabub re-enters and looks so starstruck, then runs off again

Comes back with a sparkly dress to offer to Grizz

Grizz sees the dress, starts crying, and runs away. She grabs her coat, but leaves her scarf

We go to intermission on the image of Sillabub holding the scarf to their face and crying

[leafy-wings]

How about Moonwatcher for the ask meme?

for this ask meme!

Sexuality Headcanon: i really want lesbian moonwatcher. bi moonwatcher would be fine also i suppose Gender Headcanon: trans gend A ship I have with said character: IDK i like moonwatcher x kinkajou just out of obligation to like gay people i think... i wish kinkajous nightwing based trauma was dealt with more, as ive said before i dont really think that relationships born of trauma are good so in that case i dont think that they should be together? but i just like. when they are happy and peppy and worried over each other but kinkajou gets moon out of her shell without judging her, and moons giddy enough she rides kinkajous energy. if anyone has any other wlw moon ships id love to hear them A BROTP I have with said character: i think.. moonwatcher and peril shouldve been friends more. like if peril got mind reading protection and they could bond over people thinking that theyre inherently evil due to their powers, but like. peril has more reason to be seen as dangerous idk. actually maybe they wouldnt mesh well i feel like peril would be like “(envious) theres no reason why people should be so afraid of you about equal as people are afraid of me, ms Fire Claws when all you can do is be anxious”. or like turtle more. i like that theyre anxious in the way that being around each other calms them down A NOTP I have with said character: i really dont like winter and moonwatcher. tui herself said that she was writing him as the bad boy cliche and yeah just like tui i dont think that the nice traumatized girl should stoop down and coddle someone who has never been nice to her. and like i know winter FEELS bad about what hes done but.. just.. moonwatcher is manipulated by darkstalker, basically gaslit by him, lied to constantly about what hes done and what hes doing. she DOESNT know what hes caused the plague and defends him because shes so desperate, shes been lonely her entire life until meeting darkstalker and with everyone being so mean to her still obviously shes terrified of losing the only true friend whos understood her and not been afraid of her powers. but winter screams at her and just never.. never apologizes. like winterwatcher supporters are like “moon shouldve coddled him while he was physically attacking his friend who was trying to help him! but no winter shouldnt have helped her even a bit while being horrifically manipulated by an older stronger and more powerful dragon. just let her deal with that herself.” i really think that wof gives too much credit to people who hate getting better and i am terrified of it influencing children into thinking that those around them should cater to them 24/7 and to extreme extents without offering anything in return because yes mental illness and trauma can ruin your attempts to get better but man. winter really doesnt try and moon tries FOR him. and winter doesnt really apologize to moon as far as i can tell, he goes to the war and then goes straight to sanctuary and they only meet again in tdg where they dont apologize IIRC. not like i hate winter, i wish he got better and got the help he deserved FROM THE RIGHT DRAGON, and the right dragon was not a heavily traumatized and isolated 4 year old who really doesnt know winter A random headcanon: i like imagining moon with cute simple jewelry! like string and beads kinda jewelry made by her friends, strung on her horns or little impromptu earrings and stuff. you can kinda tell who made what, like turtle gets her more expensive but simple jewelry (like a single silver band with one shining gemstone on it), kinkajou hand makes kitschy bead jewelry (like plur rave kinda shit <3), qibli likes making little decos like clay strawberry earrings, winter insists upon expensive jewelry but after moon refuses a bunch of time he starts making fake shiny things like glass beads jewelry. General Opinion over said character: i like moon! i know some people say shes annoying but, man.. i just like her, i sympathize w her as someone with psychosis, i love characters who think theyre in danger 24/7. she deserves way better, she got the usual “out of pov” treatment all main characters get where they become their one character trait as soon as the pov is off of them, and becomes boring and yes a bit annoying out of her perspective. i hate how thoroughly shes beat down throughout the books, she seriously just becomes a sponge for people to scream at and she never calls them out on it, just cringes. i think she has a lot of potential that was used well in book 6 but squandered.. and yeah i think its weird that such a powerful pov was given to the first book of the second arc, everythings way too revealing w moon and i hate how integral her stupid love triangle is to her character. i wish more people focused on her trauma, she was ENTIRELY alone until she was 4! imagine how awful she must be in social situations (tui just acts like she Gets it after four years all alone except for her mom? id love imagining her a bit too clingy, like shes used to physical attention from her mother and doesnt get that friends usually keep their distant, or only ever understanding nightwing terminology and NEVER having heard of other tribes idioms, imagine how absolutely different she must feel.. i know her book is about it but she gets over it REALLY easily as shes under pressure from darkstalker and scarlet). overall i think shed be better if she was given any breathing room but confined to the plot her character falls flat a bit.. i love her still! shes cute and sweet and i feel bad for her

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts

And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.

Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?

Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.

And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 

Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?

Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?

If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.

And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.

But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.

Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.

Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.

Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)

A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.

Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.

Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 

Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.

The music sounds like a boss fight.

The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 

Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?

Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human

Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.

Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?

Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...

Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...

What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.

Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.

And there goes the dropwall. Woops.

Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.

Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.

I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD

Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 

Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 

Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 

Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.

Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.

Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...

I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.

Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.

Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.

Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 

I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...

Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.

Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.

I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 

Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.

Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.

Yangs got a point.

Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 

SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 

...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.

Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 

It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 

Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.

Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.

Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.

Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...

Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.

...Im not impressed.

She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.

HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 

At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.

More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.

NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.

More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.

I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.

Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.

I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 

Get fucked, Cinder.

And THERE is Cortana again too.

Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.

Wait the whale’s that close?

..oh my...hold on.

...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!

12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?

ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.

...

No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...

...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you

THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.

Emerald stop simpin.

Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 

Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.

Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.

Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?

And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 

[missmeikakuna]

Tired Girl Ch. 11- F/F fantasy story

One more chapter after this one!

Rated: T

Fandom: Original story

Relationship type: F/F

Description:

High schooler Nosderag is childish, impulsive and- worst of all- powerless in a magical world. Her strong sense of empathy leads her to rescue an injured fairy and bring it back to her dorm, to the chagrin of her love-powered rumoured lesbian roommate Dalzonf. Together they try to return the fairy to its enclosure before they get arrested for animal theft.

The problem is, people with love powers are seen as criminals, putting a giant target on Dalzonf’s back.

CONTENT WARNING: This story will have homophobia, bullying and discussions of sexual assault.

Chapter 11: Clever Girl

Cold wind slapped Nosderag’s skin as she raced towards the potions lab. There was but one problem.

Dr Lomaschramm was locking up the lab for the night.

Nosderag tried to think up a lie on the spot, but the teacher turned around and her nose reminded her of Daliki’s beak. Nosderag closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

‘So I saved an ara fairy who was being harmed in the animal storage shed and it followed me to my dorm and I’ve been trying to bring it back a bunch of times but there are now guards and my roommate has been blamed for a bunch of animals getting stolen and now she’s mad at me for some reason she won’t tell me and she got angry and fed the fairy too much love magic and now the fairy’s short of breath and is clearly in pain and I need a healing potion or twenty.’

Dr Lomaschramm placed her hands on Nosderag’s shoulders. ‘Okay, breathe, breathe.’ Nosderag followed her suggestion but observed her warily, her rigid shoulders up to the sky. ‘Can you describe the fairy’s symptoms?’ the teacher asked. Once Nosderag did, the teacher unlocked the lab and led her inside. She pulled out five potions one at a time and handed them to the student.

‘If one doesn’t work, wait at least five minutes before trying another. These are for magical animals specifically, so they’re your best bet.’

‘Um, thank you,’ Nosderag murmured, looking between the potions in her arms and the suddenly soft-faced teacher.

‘Now, tomorrow, bring the fairy to the principal and explain what happened. I’m sure she’ll understand.’ Dr Lomaschramm searched the room for a crate to put the potions in. ‘I need to finish closing up. You go ahead.’

Nosderag thanked the teacher before heading back towards the dormitory. On the way, she saw a familiar face under a lamp.

Mr Fot walked up to her. ‘What are you doing out this late?’

‘I have to heal an Ara fairy.’

Mr Fot stroked his chin. ‘I see. Mind showing me the fairy?’

‘She’s in my room and tomorrow I’m taking her to the Principal. Maybe see if you can visit the enclosure.’

‘Ah, yes, of course. How about I take her back to the enclosure myself? You don’t need to worry the Principal. I’d love to see such a rare specimen before the poor thing is trapped in that dusty old shed.’

Nosderag surveyed the man, at the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. The clenched hands by his side that opened and shut as if preparing to grab something at any moment. The perfect pearly smile with no lines outside his eyes.

Nosderag’s own eyes widened. ‘Um, just out of curiosity, how much do you think an ara fairy would make on the black market?’

The perfect smile turned into a scowl, then a smirk. ‘Clever Girl.’

Mr Fot swirled his hands about, creating a blue field around Nosderag. ‘Too clever. No wonder you respected me. You’re the only one who did in this stinking school. I’m sorry it has to end like this.’ His eyes made him look unhinged but they contained an ounce of genuine guilt. The field slowly shrunk.

When Nosderag touched the field, a painful chill ran up her arm. However, her pointer finger managed to make it outside. She grabbed her crate and slowly pushed herself out of the field. The pain was agonising and she felt like her limbs were going to freeze off, but she persevered. She shivered once she was out and began to run.

Inside the dorm room, Dalzonf looked at her watch and stroked Daliki’s head, cooing words of comfort. The chair she sat on shook as her knees bounced up and down.

Back on campus, Mr Fot’s eyes grew in realisation. ‘Of course. Damn omlers.’ Ice grew on his nails until they began to resemble claws. He lunged onto Nosderag from behind and dug his icy nails into her skin. 

Before he could tear the skin off her back, Nosderag kicked behind her. Her foot reached his gut but she fell frontwards in the process. She teetered on her feet, praying not to drop the potions.

Ah, yes, the potions.

But first, she needed a distraction.

Meanwhile, Dalzonf stood up and walked to the door but when her eyes went down to her hands she took a step back. Her lips hurt from biting them so much and her eyes were shiny with blocked tears.

As she uncorked one of the potions, shielding them from view, Nosderag asked Mr Fot, ‘Are you the one who framed Dalzonf?’

She could hear laughter from behind. ‘Oh, so you know about that. What a shame. I always liked you as a student. She wasn’t too bad either.’

She uncorked a second potion. ‘But why her? What did she do to deserve this?’

‘Nothing, really. Exist, maybe. Once I’m done with you I’ll have to thank her for making such a lovely scapegoat.’

A pang of coldness stabbed Nosderag’s back. She made sure to dodge Mr Fot’s next attacks. She threw the bottles in her hand to the ground and ran away.

An explosion roared through the air. Green flames descended into deep purple as they ascended to the sky. The heightened pressure of the air pushed Nosderag forward until she fell to the ground. Her knees and elbows scraped against the cement. Behind her was a screeching man, followed by the cracking sound of ice. She turned her head, saw that the remaining flames had been cooled and began hurriedly crawling towards the dormitory.

A pained whisper came from Nosderag. ‘Dalzonf…’

The rumbling that came after the explosion could be heard all the way to Nosderag’s desired destination. Various students gasped and chatted loudly about what they guessed happened. Dalzonf didn’t know the details, just like everyone else, but she knew enough to run out of the dorm room and put all her power into making the elevator drop down to the ground level within seconds.

Spending that much magic made her movements sluggish, but she continued walking out of the building. She tried to speed up but felt trapped by her own weakness. 

Eventually, she saw a crawling Nosderag being repeatedly punctured by icicles. The blood in Dalzonf’s skin went painfully hot. Adrenaline gave her enough energy to run towards Mr Fot and force-feed him with red mist. She kept pouring magic into his mouth until he clutched his heart and collapsed.

Dr Lomaschramm entered the scene with a first aid kit. She administered Mr Fot a healing potion before tending to Nosderag. 

‘Are you okay?’ She asked Dalzonf, who was scrutinising her own trembling hands. Despite the horrified expression on her face, she nodded. ‘The police should be here any moment.’

Dr Lomaschramm glared at the guards as they ran towards the scene. She stood up and gave them the details of the situation with a clipped voice.

Nosderag sat on a bench outside as fire tolxers melted away the ice from her back. She pointed to the crate, which still contained several potions. Dalzonf picked up the crate and brought it to her. Nosderag pulled out a potion.

‘Try this on Daliki,’ she ordered Dalzonf, who at this point was reduced to tears.

‘But what about-’

Nosderag’s laughter was wobbly as she continued to shiver. ‘I’ll be fine. She’s in greater danger right now.’

As Dalzonf ran back inside, several students slowly carried Nosderag into the dormitory. A fire tolxer powered the elevator for extra warmth. The last thing she heard before the elevator doors closed was a whispered question from a student.’

‘Astra, did that love tolxer really just save her?’

Nosderag had to smile at that.

[sapphic-sustrai]

Team DMNO Bios: Olwen Kunik.

So after who knows how long, it’s finally time for me to talk about the final member of Team DMNO. My sword-wielding, tough but soft daughter, Olwen Kunik! As always if there are any errors, I will go back and fix them eventually. 

Previous DMNO Bios:

Douglas Craig.

Melanie Hertz.

Norbert Beaumont.

I’m going to preface this bio with a warning. When talking about Olwen’s backstory, things are going to be mentions of death and blood. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t keep reading I will completely understand. If you’d like to keep reading, then just be aware of what will be brought up. With that being said, more will be underneath the cut.

Full Name: Olwen Nanulak Kunik.

Alias: The Subzero Slasher, The Hunter {an alias given to her because of her excellent tracking/hunting skills}, The Monster Duo {an alias that she shares with Melanie, that was given to them by the Atlas Academy student body, she doesn’t like this one very much}.

Nickname{s}: Ollie {only used by her teammates because they’re the only ones who can call her that}, Wen {only used by Douglas}, Buniq {what her mother Aklaq used to call her, it means, “Sweet Daughter”, in Inuit}, Frosty {used only by Melanie}, Wonder Dolt {only used by Emerald}, Big Lug {only used by Emerald}, Friend Olwen {only used by Penny}, Bro {only used by Douglas or Sun, at first she’s only okay with Douglas calling her that

Age: 18 {Vol. 1-3}.

Gender: Bigender {identifies as female & non-binary}.

Race: Polar Bear Faunus, her trait is that she has the paws & forearms of a polar bear. Key differences are that she can retract her claws {unlike actual polar bears} and she has posable thumbs.

D.O.B/Star Sign: February 9th/Aquarius 

Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Lesbian.

Handedness: Ambidextrous, but prefers using her right paw most often. 

Complexion: Light Brown.

Height: 6’2 {188cm}.

Weight: 200lbs {91kg}.

Cup Size: B-Cup.

Body Type: Inverted triangle body shape, athletic build, muscular, wide-shouldered, thick legs, toned abs, six-pack, big feet {shoe size is a woman’s 12}.

Hairstyle{s}: 

Choppy layered shaggy/slightly fluffy bob, with a spiky back curved upwards {Youth}.

Short & spiky/slightly fluffy undercut, her bangs are facing upwards {Vol. 1-3}.

Hair Colour{s}: Polar White, with black roots.

Eye Colour{s}: She has heterochromia. Her left eye is steel grey and her right eye is icy blue.

Aura Colour: Frost White.

Emblem: A growling polar bear head, with two swords crossed and another sword in its mouth. The blades behind the head are facing downwards and the blade in her mouth is facing the right. The entire emblem is frost white, with a black outline.

Weapon{s}: Tekkeitsertok {Tekk}, Qailertetang {Qail} and Sedna.

The first of her swords Tekkeitsertok {Tekk} is a katana/pana {snow knife} mix. She’ll usually keep it in her mouth when performing three blade techniques, but it’s also the primary sword that she uses when performing one blade techniques.

The blade’s shape is a mixture of a katana and a pana, which is metallic silver with a gunome {zigzag} hamon pattern. The hamon is made from the bones of a caribou. It has a circular tsuba {guard} that’s metallic gold. The handle is also made of caribou bone and is wrapped in a frost white samegawa {wrap} that leaves a diamond-shape menuki pattern. The kashira {buttcap} is also gold. The blade’s saya {scabbard} is also frost white, with a metallic gold kojiri {scabbard tip}. This sword in particular is Olwen’s prized possession, as the blade’s metal came from Aklaq’s weapon. It was melted down and then forged into Olwen’s new sword.

The second of her swords is Qailertetang {Qail} is a falchion/pana mix. She’ll usually hold it in her left hand when performing three blade & two blade techniques.

The blade’s shape is a mixture of a falchion & a pana, with the central ridge curved inwards and is metallic black. The fuller is etched in with crimson red and is patterned like the sharp teeth of an animal. The chappe {rain-guard}, cross-guard & the pommel is metallic gold. The grip is black. The scabbard is black, with crimson red claw marks etched in. The locket & the chape of the scabbard is metallic gold.

The third and final sword in her possession is Sedna, which is also a falchion/pana mix. She’ll usually hold it in her right hand when performing three blade & two blade techniques.

The blade’s shape is a mixture of a falchion & a pana, with the central ridge left as is and is metallic white. The fuller is etched in with arctic blue and is patterned like the waves of an ocean. The cross-guard is curved upward on the left & curved downward on the right. The chappe, cross-guard & the pommel is metallic silver. The grip is black. The scabbard is arctic blue, with a frost white spiral pattern {almost like a narwhal’s horn}. The locket & the chape of the scabbard is metallic silver.

In all three of the swords, dust crystals can be inserted into the bottom of the grips/handles. However, Olwen doesn’t really use this function very much.

Types of Dust Used: Olwen primarily uses Ice Dust during combat, by injecting it into her body using a dust injector. She’ll use other types if the situation calls for it.

Other Equipment:

Dust Injector {metallic silver & black, it allows Olwen to inject dust safely into her body and utilize the elemental power of whichever dust type is being used, it’s described as a more, “streamline way”, of fusing dust with one’s body, the effects only last for about 30-40mins and has to wait for about an hour before injecting again… otherwise it will cause harmful side effects, Olwen had to special request this item from Ironwood & the Atlesian Military}.

Expandable Cable Bungee Leather Sword Belt {dark brown, with a silver Ursa skull belt buckle, the buckle can be launched and act as a grappling hook clinging onto surfaces, Olwen uses the belt to climb up walls or cliffs and as a way to pull herself forward or pull enemies closer during combat, on the right side of the belt is where her swords are attached to}.

Pouch {mahogany brown. It’s where Olwen keeps her dust crystals & her dust injector. It’s attached to the left side of her belt}.

Fighting Style: Olwen primarily fights using three blade style techniques, as well being proficient in two blade & one blade style techniques. Even while holding her blades, she’ll still incorporate punches and use them to either cause damage or to knock opponents back. With their semblance in active mode, they’ll use their swords or arms as conduits, either to add extra edge to their attacks or to stun opponents by heating/freezing their desired conduits. They also incorporate ice dust into their fighting style, due to the dust injections. She can launch icy aura-based attacks from her swords or hands, make small ice walls for defensive purposes, etc…

Semblance: Temperature Control – A semblance that allows the user to orient the semblance in three different ways: passively, actively & empowerment. Passive mode allows the user to keep things {including herself} in her immediate area/within 5 meters at an ambient temperature. Active mode allows the user to heat up or cool down her surroundings/things {as well as an inherent resistance to the effect her semblance has as a result} to the degree & speed of her choosing. Finally, Empowerment mode allows the user to become stronger, a little bit faster, durable, etc… when they come into contact of thermal energy. When she’s stored enough thermal energy, her body looks as if she is steaming and her skin turns slightly pink and shiny. She heats things up with her left hand and cools things down with her right.

Other Skills, Talents, etc…

Expert tracking skills.

Expert survival skills.

Excellent hunting skills.

Excellent sense of smell {she could smell what RWBY & JNPR all had for dinner from 3 nights ago}.

Excellent swordsmanship.

Incredible physical/jaw strength.

Excellent chef.

Current Affiliation: Atlas Academy.

Previous Affiliation: Sanctum Academy.

Place of Origin: Mistral, in a small village called Biyamamura, located around Mistral’s mountainous/forest region.

Current Occupation{s}: Student, Huntress-in-training.

Team/Status: DMNO. Currently active, but will become inactive soon after the Fall of Beacon. Won’t be active again for quite some time.

Team Members: Douglas Craig, Melanie Hertz, Norbert Beaumont & herself.

Partner: Melanie Hertz.

Team Role: Ranged/Melee Tank.

Status: Alive.

Mental Health Issues: Dysthymia {persistent depressive disorder}, also deals with anger management problem brought on by her depression. They take medication for their PDD, they also have coping strategies to help calm her down. They channel their anger most often at the gym or by training.

Positive Qualities: Independent, resourceful, adaptable, witty, observant, loyal, calm & collected {most of the time}, disciplined.

Neutral Qualities: Determined, tough, quiet {isn’t as chatty as some of her other teammates}, sarcastic, stubborn, emotional {negative feelings like sadness are usually kept in private}.

Negative Qualities: Gluttonous {in terms of food & pain}, aggressive {kept under control, but after the Fall of Beacon, she has a bit of a problem dealing with her anger again}, cold & distant {only when she’s really upset with you}, slightly irritable {more annoyed than angry}, careless {when it comes to her own well-being}.

Likes:

Cooking/eating food.

Training/sparring/working out.

Tattoos/piercings.

Fishing {both for relaxing & for sport}.

Swimming.

Sleeping/napping.

Learning about swords/sword making.

Being among the animals in the forest.

Dislikes:

Brussels Sprouts.

Diet Cola.

Being disturbed while she’s trying to sleep/nap.

Hot weather {even with her semblance, she still doesn’t like being outside in warmer weather}.

Cigarette smoke {she finds the scent disgusting}.

People who abandon the ones that they love {she has abandonment issues, while not as bad it still lingers}.

People who cheat {she believes for working hard for your achievements, instead of taking the lazy or easy way out}.

Long shirt sleeves {her arm fur act as built in sleeves and she hates the feeling of sleeves going over her arms}.

Favourite…?

Food: Salmon/all other types of fish & pork/all other types of meat.

Drink: Water, sports drinks & cola.

Season/Weather: Winter/cold & cloudy or cold & slightly sunny.

Colour: Arctic blue & bone white.

Animal: Timber wolves, snowy owls, orcas & seals.

Movie Genre: Horror {favourite sub-genre is slashers}/thriller.

Music Genre: Punk/heavy metal.

Relationships:

Nanouk Haggard:

Relationship: Grandfather Figure, she called him, “Gramps”, they have a deeper connection that Olwen doesn’t realize yet, good.

Status: Alive.

Aklaq Kunik:

Relationship: Adoptive Mother, who she considers to be her real mother, good.

Status: Deceased.

Neva Kunik:

Relationship: Adoptive Aunt, older twin sister of Aklaq, good for the most part.

Status: Alive.

Wulfnod Albero:

Relationship: Honorary Uncle, was Olwen’s caretaker after Aklaq’s passing, good.

Status: Alive.

Douglas Craig:

Relationship: Closest Friend, teammate, good.

Status: Alive.

Melanie Hertz:

Relationship: Close Friend, partner, friendly rival, good overall, but sometimes she has to reel Melanie in when she gets, “too intense”.

Status: Alive.

Norbert Beaumont:

Relationship: Close Friend, teammate, good.

Status: Alive.

Team RWBY:

Relationship: Friends, good overall, gets along with Blake the best, gets along with Weiss the least.

Status: Alive.

Team JNPR:

Relationship: Friends, except Jaune who she actively dislikes, gets along with Pyrrha the best.

Status: Alive {Pyrrha’s alive in this AU}.

Penny Polendina:

Relationship: Good Friends, good.

Status: Alive, then deceased, then rebuilt and brought back to life.

Ilia Amitola: 

Relationship: Enemies {at first}, eventually become close friends, don’t meet until Vol. 4.

Status: Alive.

Sun Wukong:

Relationship: Acquaintances at Best {at first}, doesn’t really like him that much, after some time in Menagerie they do eventually become friends.

Status: Alive.

Emerald Sustrai:

Relationship: Started out as friends, then moved into a purely physical relationship, broke things off during the Vytal Festival, their relationship became strained after the events during the Fall of Beacon, they’ll eventually reconnect & work on their relationship.

Status: Alive.

Early Life {Backstory/spoiler free because I want to reveal more at a later time}:

Olwen was born in an unknown location, in the continent of Solitas.

Some time after her birth, Olwen was adopted by a woman named Aklaq Kunik. and was renamed Olwen Nanulak Kunik. The name Olwen came from the fact that she had a birthmark resembling a white paw print on her right paw pad.

From then onward, Olwen was raised in the Kingdom of Mistral, nearby a small village in the mountainous/forest region known as Biyamamura. She lived in a small cabin that Aklaq and her old teammates from Team FAWN built together.

Olwen never really had any friends growing up, at school she was the only Faunus child in a primarily human classroom. Her classmates would often bully her and call her a, “monster”, because of her arms and to all of them she looked scary. All Olwen wanted was to make some friends… but nobody wanted her around. She mostly either spent time with Aklaq or with the animals in the nearby forest.

One day her classmates pulled a prank on her, which went horribly wrong and attracted a Beowolf to the area. Olwen was attacked and if it wasn’t for a passing Huntsman finding her, she probably would’ve bled out and died. Since the school didn’t want to take any sort of responsibility for the incident, Aklaq decided to home-school her daughter from then onward.

Aklaq taught her a lot of things, such as respecting nature, survival skills, how to hunt, how to fish and most importantly how to fight. Aklaq taught her hand-to-hand combat and swordsmanship.

Eventually, Aklaq told Olwen that she was adopted and while she still considered Aklaq to be her, “real mom”, she’s always been curious about her biological parents. Whenever she’d ask Aklaq about them, she was always met with incredibly vague information. What she didn’t know was that Aklaq was going to tell Olwen the truth when she was much older because she couldn’t bare to tell the horrible truth to such a young child.

When Olwen was around 10 years old, a group of strange men showed up to Biyamamura looking for her. Aklaq rushed back home and told Olwen to run as far away as she could. She was going to protect her daughter no matter what, even if it killed her. Olwen wouldn’t find out the reason why those men were after her until she was older. 

When she came back to the house, Aklaq was found on the ground outside laying in a pool of her own blood inside. Olwen cradled her mother in her arms as Aklaq uttered her last words to her. She said, “You came into my life when I needed you the most… you’re my greatest miracle and I’ll always be proud to call you my daughter. I love you, Olwen.” Losing her mother left Olwen devastated and it left her feeling scared and alone… she couldn’t stop crying.

Unfortunately, the group of men were still around and they were banking on the fact that she would come back eventually. One of the men managed to stab Olwen in her lower right abdomen, but Olwen attacked back by kicking the man in the face, picking up the knife that he had dropped and stabbed him in the chest when he tried to attack again. Before passing out from shock and blood loss, she noticed someone coming in and attacking the rest of the group. When she came to, she realized that it was Aklaq’s old partner from Team FAWN, Wulfnod Albero.

He had heard from a town close by of what was going to take place and tried to get there as fast as he could. He is also saddened by Aklaq’s passing and decides to take Olwen in and become her caretaker. For the next few years, Olwen traveled around with Wulfnod, as he traveled around the kingdoms doing huntsman missions. After the experiences that she had went through with losing Aklaq, Olwen became much angrier and would act out often. For Wulfnod, it was a struggle, but he was willing to work with Olwen and help her deal with her trauma & anger management problems.

Ever since Olwen was young, she’s always wanted to become a Huntress and to become one of Remnant’s greatest sword wielders… but due to recent events, she became unsure if this was something that she still wanted. With some encouraging from Wulfnod, she eventually decides to not give up on her dreams and attend Sanctum Academy.

During her time at Sanctum, she met her first and closest friend Douglas Craig, she was diagnosed with dysthymia and started taking medication for it, was seeing a therapist to help her deal with her trauma and was learning to keep her anger under control, and had gotten incredibly strong through constant training and hard work. During her first break home, she broke down in Wulfnod’s arms and kept apologizing for giving him such a hard time over the years. It was from this point onward that Olwen would refer to Wulfnod as her uncle.

When it was time for Olwen to pick the academy that they’d attend for the next 4 years, she decided to attend Atlas Academy because while she wasn’t a big fan of their, “military approach”, she thought that this would be the school that could help her push past her boundaries and help her reach the next steps to becoming stronger.

Primary Attire {Youth}:

Henley Shirt {spruce blue, short sleeved, top two buttons left unbuttoned, slightly baggy}.

Leather Belt {black, with a silver belt buckle}.

Fatigue Pants {grey, pantlegs tucked into boots}.

Boots {black}.

Atlas Academy Uniform:

Olwen pretty much wears the standard Atlas Academy boys’ uniform. The only exceptions are that she has a short-sleeved shirt {because of her arms and not needing sleeves}, her jacket is left wide open and she wears her combat boots instead of dress shoes.

Primary Attire {Vol. 1-3}:

Leather Jacket {navy blue, with a gold zipper, short sleeved, unzipped all the way, cuts off at the midriff, interior lining is slate grey, symbol is located on the upper back}.}.

Tank Top {black}.

Bandana {black, tied around her left bicep, wears it on her head during fights, used to belong to Aklaq}.

Stonewashed Jeans {a bit baggy, a couple of rips, pant legs tucked into her boots}.

Combat Boots {Black, with slate grey laces}.

Other Notes About Appearance:

She has four small tattoos of all the suits in a deck of cards located above her right brow. The spade & the club are black and the heart & diamond are icy blue. The order goes spade, heart, club, and diamond. Each one represents a member of DMNO, using the diamond to represent herself.

In terms of piercings, she has quadruple stud earrings, two rings on her right helix, and a labret piercing. All of them are metallic silver.

She’s obtained plenty of scars over the years. First was three claw marks on the left side of her neck that she obtained when attacked by a Beowolf as a child. Next was a cross-shaped scar on her lower right abdomen that she obtained when attacked by the group of men who killed Aklaq.

If She Had a Voice it Would Be: Janet Varney {Current}, Cora Baker {Youth}.

Misc. Trivia:

All of Olwen’s sword techniques are named after the forest, hunting terms, and the animals that she spent so much time with in the forest as a child. She wanted to honour the animals somehow as a way to thank them for being there for her.

Olwen is pretty bad at coming up with names for things. Growing up she had a stuffed bear that Aklaq made for her and she named him… Bear/Beary. The only time that this wasn’t the case was when she came up with names for her swords, her sword techniques, and the names of her future children.

Her favourite band of all time is a punk rock/metal band called, “Absolute Zero.” She’s been to two of their concerts and she has a huge crush on the lead singer, Noelle Blanc.

Olwen is one of the most patient people that her friends know. Aklaq taught her how to fish not just for fun or for sport, but also to teach her the importance of having patience.

She has athazagoraphobia {a fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned}.

A third dream of hers {aside from becoming a Huntress & wanting to become one of Remnant’s greatest sword wielders} was that she wants to open her own restaurant someday, but she doesn’t share this dream with most people out of fear of judgement. Only her teammates & Wulfnod know of this dream.

While she doesn’t tell a lot of jokes, she does love a good bear related pun. She loves either using, “unbearable”, or, “bear with her”, in sentences.

Her bandana to her is a reminder that Aklaq is still here with her, even if it’s only in spirit. She also doesn’t like it when people touch it because she doesn’t want to lose one of the only things of Aklaq’s that she has left.

That’s all that I have for Olwen at the moment. Sorry that it took so long, life got a bit busy for me! Any comments or critiques would be greatly appreciated and my askbox is always open! So now that I’m finished the updated DMNO bios, what would y’all like to see next from me OC wise? Let me know if you have any suggestions!

[mars-the-4th-planet]

Roman and Neo meet a Raccoon, it ends pretty much how you expect.

"Heh... Neo, the good guys are hunting us, the bad guys are hunting us, just like old times when huh?" Roman pointed out. Neo smiled and nodded, the thought of it brought her nostalgia. She remembered when she was just a street thug and he was a spoiled valefia (Vale mafia) boy making a break with his fathers dust. He had such a cute hat. And he still does, Neo thought.

The two of them were sitting down, their backs against the ruins of a house that had an Atlesian drone fall into it. They were still both handcuffed unfortunately, and had basically no idea what to do next. The whole area was under lockdown so they could not leave, and it was unlikely anyone would want to save them. A young dog faunus boy with brown hair sat nearby on a sandbag, playing a video game. Roman tried asking him where he parents were but he just said they would be back soon and started crying so he left the boy alone to play his video game.

Just then, a Raccoon Faunus girl about the same age as Neo walked in. Her face and hands were marked by ink-black skin and her nails were like little claws. She was wearing trendy albeit dirty and worn clothes and had fake raccoon ears and a belt that made it look like she had a Raccoon tail. The black mask-like marking make her eyes seem very big and bright, and she grinned at them with her pointy little canines. "Oh mein gosh! Tis Roman and Neo, I am ze big fan! Please, tell me what nefarioux plans you dous have been cooking up!"

"Currently we are planning to cheat, lie, steal, and survive. To do that we need to get out of these handcuffs." Roman said, smooth as ever.

"Hm... I just so happen to have a lockpick on me!" The raccoon girl said, pulling one out. "I can totally let you free, for a price~"

"And what price would that be?" Roman asked. Neo let him do the talking, however contrary to popular belief it was not because he was a man, but because she was physically incapable of speech. And even if this girl knew sign language, Neo was handcuffed.

"I want ze kiss!"

Roman smiled smugly. "Of course, I should have known. Neo? I would never think to ask you to do something like this, but can you please take one for the team?"

Neo nodded and puckered up.

"No no no, xaxaxaxaxa! I meant a kiss from you Roman!"

Roman blinked in surprise. "You what?"

"Come on, you know you are gorgeoux!"

"Yes I am," Roman agreed. "but I guess I was not expecting you to be into men."

"Vat is ZHAT supposed to mean?? You damn baque fool!" The raccoon girl pouted. "I am not ze lesbian! I am a thief and scoundrel! Like you!" her strange accent got stronger when she was annoyed.

Roman looked over at Neo. "May I kiss the wannabe villain?"

Neo nodded, although she did not look too happy about it.

"VANNABE? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM ZE EVILEST CRITTER ON TWO MEATY LEGS" She cried out in irritation.

"Mea-diocre legs maybe." Roman commented snidely.

Her cheeks went pink and the raccoon girl looked like she was about to scratch Roman. "Do you VANT to be let out of ZE CUFFS or do you just want to BE TEASIN'?"

"Of course, of course. Go ahead, do the evil thing and kiss and let us go." Roman said.

"You still dont think I am a real villain."

"I mean, you dont seem very evil..."

"I kick puppies!"

"Sure you do."

"Looksy! Watch me!" The raccoon girl walked over to the dog faunus boy. She lightly put her foot against him with all the force of talking a step forward. Mistaking this move as an attempt to play fight, he fake snarled and bit her foot. The raccoon girl yelped and grabbed his nose too force him to release her so he could breath. He would have let go anyway as her sneaker did not taste all that good.

Neo was silently giggling at the display.

"Yes, quite the villain you are."

"Are you going to kiss or nah?" She growled.

"Okay, come and get it." Roman licked his lips and made an exaggerated flirty expression. The raccoon girl blushed. She came up but got nervous at the last moment and kissed his cheek instead. Neo rolled her eyes.

"Is that all? Okay." Roman said. Something clattered behind Neo, and she was looking down at it before facing the raccoon girl again.

"Xaxaxaxaxa, your cheek is soft Roman Torchwick!" The raccoon girl said with a shy grin.

"Thats what Neo would say, if she could." Roman said.

"Xaxa! I really am a big fan though, even when you give mockings. I can just imagine it now, me and you together ruling the Holy Roman Empire, you the Emperor and me your right hand partner!"

Neo scootched forward and kicked her in the shin. "Yow! That was joke!"

"Are you going to unlock us now or what?" Roman asked.

"Nope, I have fooled and scammed you! Who is evil and bad critter now hmmmm~?" The raccoon girl giggled and ran off singing about how she is a villain.

Neo smirked and picked up the lockpick she had swiped with her teeth while the raccoon girl was kissing Roman and entirely focused on that.

Using it first to free herself and then Roman, they got up.

"You are truly amazing, Neo." Roman said in awe. "I was about to ask what that clattering was. But now I am happy I didnt bring attention to it."

Neo spawned them both some ice cream and they ate their dessert together.

"You know neo, about what she said... I HAVE two hands you know." And he held out his ice cream covered gloved hands. Since they had not dishes, they ate out of cupped hands. Technically it was only Roman who got sustainance out of it, as Neo had to use an equivalent amount of her aural energy to make the ice cream in the first place.

Anyway, apon hearing this joke Neo smiled in her sweet/creepy way and held both of his hands in hers. They then kissed, and they lived happily ever-

"Stop right there criminal scum! You have violated the law, now pay your fine or its off to jail!" A Huntsman shouted. He was decked out in medieval looking armor and was holding a crowbar that was also a gun.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Whales Aren’t Real, Ch1

Genre: sci-fi, wlw, series

Words: 3k

Summary: A chosen Earth Restitution Team goes diving into the ocean to look for what remains of ocean life

The young RT member finds one of the few humans who adapted to the destruction of the planet, she asks her if whales are real or not.

Lesbian soft-apocalyptica.

Support the work:

Ko-Fi ⭐Patreon ⭐ WordPress 

Chapters: One, Two

Chapter 1: Breech

Life wants to live. That’s a basic tenant of nature, that it strives and reaches and wants.

That is what hunger is, and sex, and frogs with poison in their skin and bugs that look like twigs, birds with hollow bones and primates with fingertips. It is fish growing wings and the first inklings of life that swam to light.

The want that carves out canyons into forests and trenches into coral reefs. That want that turns empty plains into rumbling gardens and the whole dang earth into something… different.

It’s something Remy has to put her faith in, blindly, religiously, fanatically. Life wanted to live and that meant something.

-------

The Wb-77 glides effortlessly across the dark blue waters, it’s pointed triangle wings cutting through the gentle ocean breeze and buoying them a couple feet above the ocean’s surface. The sky is almost as blue as the waters down below it and the whole world is one large expanse.

It’s so large it feels like she could open her arms and fall into it forever.

Remy takes a deep breathe, it tastes sticky with salt and sunshine, and she grins.

“Woooo!” She stretches her arms up to the sky and whoops, tossing her head back and laughing into the salty air. “Can you feel that Kel?” She calls out above the dim hum of the Sunflower Motor. “That’s the energy of good luck.”

The pilot glances over his shoulder at her, “keep focused Rem.” He says in a flat tone, sunken eyes focusing on the stretch of distance ahead of them. “Mission in ten.”

She nods with gusto and reaches inside her own small cockpit and extracts a large tub of dark jelly, she grabs a globby handful and starts applying the adhesive to her bare skin and swim bottoms.

“I’m just saying, I’ve got a good feeling about this Kel,” she says brightly, “today is the day.”

“Please,” his tone sags around the edges, burdened by its own weariness. “Just keep your camera on the rocks Remy. It’s the RT, not a travel holiday.” Remy could have stuck her tongue out at him, but she decides to tug on the end of her small tight ponytail instead, “Don’t tell me you’re not feeling it.”

She slathers another handful of goop onto her leg and pats it down generously.

Kel sighs, “whatever it is, I’m not sure I want to feel it Rem. You ever hear of ocean madness?” Her eyes glimmer, “have you ever heard of wet-blanket syndrome?” “Haha,” he turns the plane gently toward a pile of rocks in the distance. A promising location for new crustacean life. “I’m serious!” She crows over the wind, “They’re singing for us right now, I know it.” “Maybe in your head, SCO-y.” SCO-y was the name for all new recruits to the Restitution Team, Single-celled Organisms, newbies, guppies, easily dismissed. Remy ignores the name.

“Says the man with one burst eardrum,” she puts her hands on her hips as she finishes applying the protection jelly all along her shoulders. “I hear it! No one else is listening.” “It just isn’t exactly top of the list yet Rem,” he says, this time a little more warmly, they were almost reaching the final destination. “Besides,” he says as they slow to a crawl and a couple dozen seagulls caw overhead, “Whales aren’t real.” Remy rolls her eyes, “you’ll see.” She turns toward the edge of the Wb-77’s wing, secures her helmet, mouthpiece, and flippers, and waits dutifully for the jelly to finish drying on her skin.

She gives Kel the thumbs and dives feet first into the dark waters below.

-------------------

Remy’s camera flashes in the dark, lighting up blank, faceless dark rocks and more edged crevices. She spies the signs of small tiny minnows off to her right, but nothing substantial.

Was it too much to ask for one mollusk? A tiny hermit crab, a nice oyster.

She swims around in circles and takes another flashing image of nearby plant growth, she couldn’t name it but it resembled kelp with long single green tendrils reaching up. That had to be good sign, she takes a quick series of photos from all angles.

The Council would dismiss anything that wasn’t thorough and well documented.

Finally, she takes a deep breath and gently parts the plant, examining the underside of the leaves and where it’s roots met the sand.

She curses in her had as she sees no new macro life anywhere near the vicinity. Again.

Remy is sighing and can feel Kel’s smug aura wafting toward her from above, of course there wasn’t anything new. She could also feel that he was definitely napping by now.

She’s inspecting what felt like her fiftieth blank dark rock with a bit of algae growing on it, everything had algae, soft mossy stuff that layered the rocks. Too bad nothing of note was eating it right now.

Remy frowns deeply, her mind working like a ticking clock. Soooo, Kel was definitely napping by now. And signs of algae usually meant ancient runoff was still affecting the area from nearby.

Remy has a bright feeling in her gut, it was still going to be a special day. It had to be.

She turns her body away from her assigned rock enclave and toward the sun, she starts swimming. The protective gel was meant to coat her body and keep it at room-temperature, as well as absorb any toxins in the water so it didn’t leach into her skin.

It also meant that with two hours left of air in her tank that she could at least dive a little deeper.

Remy starts swimming.

Her flashlight reflects off of nothing for a long, long time. She only stops once to go top-side and make sure she can still the Wb-77 in the distance. There are several streaks of white birds over head.

Her eyes follow them and she sets her mouth, “you must be going somewhere as well.” She focuses on the seagulls diligently and starts crawling in their direction. Her muscles complain at her and her chest aches slightly after 40 minutes of swimming.

Maybe this was only kinda a good idea after all.

Then she sees something sticking out of the water, flat and grey and striking. Several seagulls land on it and peck the top.

“Yes!” She pounds the air and secures her air tank one last time, diving further into the water. This is what she was waiting for.

Her camera flashes off something immediately, something large and looming.

“In-it,” she mumbles through her mouth piece excitedly and starts paddling.

It is large and had sharp crumbling edges, dark sides that are covered in more patchy algae, it appeared to be perfectly square and with sturdy almost-intact walls. Somehow, it managed to stay upright after all this time, reaching and carving its way to the ocean surface.

A deadciv building.

Remy can’t help it, she makes a sharp noise that might be described as a ‘squeal,’ she starts flashing pictures of the battered windows and tiny fish swimming around it’s ceilings.

A window to a skyscraper of ghosts.

Remy starts to swim back and forth, pressing her gel-covered fingers over the rough surface and looking for signs of life among the wreckage. It wasn’t entirely what she was looking for, but it was new.

She knew people studied the deadcivs, wrote papers on how they failed and why they made this whole mess to begin with. But she can’t help but feel a wave of affection for them as she finds these towering immense artifacts.

They really did exist down here, made things, lived on the surface.

She finds the tallest building she can and starts following it down, down, down, there must be something down there, sidewalks or mailboxes or whatever else they used to make this whole thing work.

She runs her hands down the buildings spine and sinks as far as she can, the light drains from the water around her- all except her brilliant flashlight glowing up ahead. She listens, straining her ears for any slow movements or the appearance big ugly eyes in the dark.

She would take anything at this point, any sign.

That’s when her oxygen tank starts beeping at her.

“Gdang’it.” She hadn’t been paying attention, Remy quickly turns back toward the top.

Luckily, she can still make out the light up above and she starts following the building up up up, the thing is as tall as a mountain.

Beep beep beep.

‘I know, I know’ she thinks to herself.

Beep, beep, beep.

She can feel her lungs start to burn as the tank goes into ‘oxygen saving mode’ and starts providing at half capacity. She paddles harder with her flippers.

Beep beep

She curses in her head and her vision starts to go dizzy, the light above flashes and she pushes and forces herself toward it. She couldn’t afford to pass out now.

Her lungs are a forest fire, she claws at the water with all her might and kicks until her ankles go numb. Her senses blitz in different directions as she pushes toward the surface with all her might.

She comes crashing up through the surf, coughing and scrambling for breath.

Her muscles are screaming at her and she feebly manages pull herself onto the of crumbling building roof, rolling over and lying there in the pale flashing sunlight.

“Ah, fuck,” she curses at her oxygen tank and starts taking deep, salt-tinged breathes. It was going to be a hell of thing getting back now. She closes her eyes and lets her body cool, one deep gulping breath at a time.

She’s still gasping when she hears it, a splash of water just off to her left. Remy barely has a moment to respond when her eyes fly open, they land on a figure.

A figure standing on the top of the building next to hers, staring at her.

Oh.

Remy’s eyes go wide and her mouth falls open a little bit.

She wasn’t alone here.

----------------

Remy had heard people talk about those who stayed on the surface, the ones who refused the evacuation sirens and hid from the Exodus crews. Proper Enclaves called them ‘adapted by necessity’ and the improper Enclaves called them ‘less than human.’ In more senses than one.

Remy doesn’t think of those Enclaves as she’s lying there, soaked and covered in protection jelly as she takes in a green-tinged stranger.

“Oh.” It comes out as a simple pale gasp.

It was a girl.

She was wearing something like a bright orange nylon swimsuit, old and ragged looking with one yellow stripe across the chest.

She has a winding beaded necklace around her throat and matching beads around her wrists. Her thick brown hair is pulled back into a low ponytail that trails all the way down her spine. Her skin is tinted slightly green and covered in flecks of dark freckles, if freckle is the right word for them- small dots that seem to catch the light itself.

Remy could also make out her fan-shaped ears and unnaturally large eyes, eyes taking up more of her face than Remy thought possible. She had dark pupils that could eat up a night sky and full frowning lips.

Her webbed sharp hands hold something long and sharp.

Remy swallows dryly and spits out the first thing that comes to mind, “are you a mermaid?” The girl holds up the spear a little higher and narrows her large dark eyes, “Are you an idiot bird landed here?” Remy scrambles to sit back up and inch away from the pointed spear tip, she puts her hands up, “Woah, woah. No need for sharp objects. I come in peace.” She quotes some of her favorite old media, the girl seems unimpressed.

She shakes her thick hair and her lips curl back, “I’m sure.” “Wait, wait,” Remy tries to stall the girl before this turns from an expedition into her untimely funeral. The girl contemplates her for a long second, “What?” She finally asks in a hoarse, flat manner.

Remy tilts her head to the side, “I thought planet-siders couldn’t speak Common.” The girl makes an impressive eye roll, “well we usually try not to talk to Deserters to begin with.” Remy frowns at those words, she frowns at all of her, “that’s… too bad?”

The girl sniffs loudly and doesn’t answer that. “What are you doing her?”

Remy looks her up and down, “I’m looking for something. Are you... also looking for something here?” She grasps for conversation.

She raises her eyebrows, “I’m hunting,” she raises her spear, “and I would move along if I were you, this is claimed fishing grounds.” “Oh!” Remy says sharply, “no, I’m not trying to take your fish. I’m an RTM!”

The girl seems uninspired and Remy wilts a little bit, “A Restitution Team Member?” She clarifies weakly, “we’re here to check on the planet? And like, help it.” She gives a weak smile, trying to make clear she was one of the good guys.

The girl’s mouth is still snarling, “Go probe your gadgets elsewhere, you’re going to scare off all the fish with your noisy flopping around anyway.”

Remy puts her hands on her hips, “I’m gathering data, you know, trying to find important recovery strategies.” She blows a piece of stray hair out of her face.

“Catch me swooning,” she waves a hand airly in front of her, “now, don’t actually make me use this.” She shakes her spear in the air, “you seem like such a nice girl.” “Really?” She perks up, “because I’ve been meaning to talk with one of you for awhile, you know, since I learned you can speak common and-”

“Alright. I change my mind,” she gestures with her thumb downward, “nicely annoying.” Remy cups her hands around her mouth, “Booo.” “Get out of here.” She tries to shoo her and Remy wants to make a face back. They have a very long stare-off for a second.

Remy is the one that decides this isn’t going to be worth it, “fine, fine,” she deflates, “But!” She sticks a finger in the air, “I do have one questions and I won’t leave until you answer it.” The girl shifts from foot to foot, thinking, “what?”

Remy leans forward and her eyes go wide, “Do you know where the whales?” The girl lifts her eyebrows and shifts from foot to foot, “the what?” “You know,” Remy practically vibrates, bouncing up and down in place, “giant sea mammals! They are enormous, and have brush-teeth, and tiny eyes, and they breathe air! And some sing. You’d know them if you saw them.” She gives Remy a funny look, “do they also breathe fire and fly around capturing princesses?” “Whales,” she says slowly, “and why would they do that? They’re nice.” “I didn’t mean, that’s not the, ugh,” the girl struggles with something. “I don’t know any whales. Please, go take your sea madness elsewhere.” “Oh! Kel was just mentioning that too,” she grins and eyes the girl one last time, “what’s your name?” She backs up, she glances at something and then back toward Remy, “if I tell you my name will you go? I will really do have shit to do here.” “Yes!” Remy doesn’t mention the fact she had run out of oxygen. It might be awhile before she can actually leave. But the stranger didn’t need to know that.

The girl gives a slow smile, “Empress Feck steck. Leader of the free world.” Remy pauses for a second, thinks, and then gives a small bow, “well, Empress Fish sticks-” “Wait.” The girl seems to be rethinking her choices. “I’m Laramie Jones, but you can call me Remy. At your service.” She winks, “your Stickyness.” The girl groans, “Callisto. Like the constellation.” “The what?”

She just shakes her head and opens her mouth, “She’s the bear one.” Remy stands up straight, “the bear stars. I can see that.” She rolls her eyes, “And Remy. Like the very very odd Deserter looking for Welshmen or whatever.” “Whales.” Their eyes meet and they contemplate each other for a long moment.

“Okay. Where are whales supposed to be?” “Oh!” Remy opens her mouth to give coordinates, but instead the deep thrum of an engine fills the air, choppy and cutting through the space. Remy looks up and she sees the outline of the Wb-77 on the horizon.

“Ah, that’s mine,” She says quickly, “you should meet Kels, he can tell you-” A loud splash interrupts her and when Remy looks back to the Planetsider, the girl, Callisto, is gone. Remy gives a deep sigh and feels a weight of disappointment in her gut.

“Listen for singing!” She calls after her, “You’ll know it when you hear it.” She’s certain the girl doesn’t hear her as she must dive deeper and deeper into the water.

Remy has a sudden urge to dive in after he, ask her if Planetsider’s really did have gills, ask her how far down they could swim, and what exactly she has seen in these dark murky waters. If it was monsters or skeletons or just empty space.

One of those things had to be large creatures the size of houses, with small eyes and brush-like teeth, and voices that sometimes sing. Remy was sure of it, she had to be.

Chapter two =======>

[fan-clan-fun]

Sycamore-

A character that I’ve been touching up, for my Illinois FanClans! I really like her, and i’m excited :) feel free to give me your thoughts on her!

Awesome! I’ll give you any suggestions if I have any!

I made her using Paleclaw’s cat generator. Here she is!!

Name: Sycamore- (suffix pending)

Previous Names: Sycamoresprout, Sycamoreseed

Age: 26 moons

Appearance: Sycamore- is a short molly with an average-width face and muzzle and is fairly muscular. Her fur is short, yet thick; enough to protect her when it’s cold but not thick enough that she will risk overheating in the warmer moons. Her eyes are a dull copper and are close set in shape. Sycamore- is a blue-and-cream calico, with tuxedo markings.

Personality: Sycamore- is more quiet than the rest of her family; however, that doesn’t make her meek. She has inherited her mother’s cleverness and deduction, though she is a bit more quiet about it; she’s thoughtful, preferring to study things first and then making a decision based on the information she’s collected; she pays attention to the greater details. Sycamore hungers for knowledge and always wants to know more; that being said, Sycamore- is not ambitious in the way one might think; she has no desire to be leader or deputy, and simply wants to serve her Clan as best she can; to her, this requires learning much of the world and territory around her, as well as about the other Clans. As a kitten, she would often ask a lot of questions, and once she got her answer, she would simply think about it in solitude, wondering why things were the way they were. She’s good in social situations, being polite and thoughtful, always one to consider her next move or the word she’s about to say. In a way, she can be a bit manipulative at times, using her lack of intimidation to get things others might not. She’s considered to be good looking and as a result, she’s collected a lot of admirers now that she’s a warrior - much to her chagrin. She likes to watch birds and is quite good at hunting them. While she loves her family, sometimes she feels overshadowed by their great deeds and desperately wants to prove her worth in the Clan. She likes to sleep in the sun, and loves listening to stories about the past. Her greatest fear is drowning; she often has nightmares about this.

I really love Sycamore’s personality. She’s quiet but not to the point of being terrible in social situations which is what people usually put together. I appreciate that others in her clan still like her and she has her own admirers, but she isnt arrogant or ambitious. Overall she seems quite developed, with a few fun little quirks, not shallow or a caricature.

Clan: MarshClan

Rank: Warrior

Family:

-Mother, Foxstep. Foxstep is a blue-and-cream mackerel torbie molly with dark hazel eyes, short fur and white feet. Like her namesake, she was cunning, sneaky, and light-footed. She was known for getting into mischief as a kit and had a lot of energy, which often saw her in trouble. She was quite clever, and great at deduction, proving herself to be adaptable and pragmatic, as well as a good hunter. Now that she’s older, she’s calmed down somewhat, energy-wise, but she still enjoys a good harmless prank now and again and serves as her daughter’s biggest supporter. Silverstream left a moon after Sycamore- was born, and Foxstep plans to give him a good smack across the nose if he ever shows his face around her again. She enjoys telling small lies for fun, and she and Tawnyflower often get into fun little debates over certain topics. She qualified for the -tail suffix, but requested -step instead.

I love this description! She perfectly fits the -step suffix!

-Biological Father, Silverstream. Silverstream was a handsome silver classic tabby tom with white feet, long fur and hazel eyes. He joined MarshClan after several meetings with Foxstep. He proved himself to be quite the swimmer, and brought back many fish to MarshClan, along with being a good hunter - he and Foxstep often teamed up and during a particularly harsh winter, the two of them brought back decent amounts of prey which was invaluable to MarshClan. Silverstream was a kind tom, who cared for his mate, yet he could sometimes come off as distant. It took him awhile to adapt to Clan life, and during one foggy morning (after Foxstep told him she was pregnant with his kits), he set off into the marshes and has yet to be seen again. No one knows where he went though some theorize he returned to his loner roots.

Curious about his history, it honestly sounds like he met his untimely end somewhere past the territory. From his description it doesnt sound like he would abandon his family. Sad :(

-Cousin, Lightningclaw. Lightningclaw is a semi-foreign epistatic white cat with long, sleek fur, orange eyes and a fluffy tail. Lightningclaw is a very proud cat, and can come off as a bit vain. Being a -claw, they are brilliant at fighting and have trained several apprentices in battle training. They are good on the battlefield, not so much when it comes to social relations. Lightningclaw is actually good at listening to others plights, and will sit with a Clanmate and listen to their struggles. Even if they doesn’t have the right words to comfort, just having someone to listen to is enough, for some cats. Lightningclaw has several idols in the Clan, one of which is Foxstep. They admire her wit, her cunning, her dedication… The two grew up together, with Foxstep being a moon or so older than Lightningclaw. She quickly roped them into her friend group and made them feel wanted; after Foxstep saved Lightningclaw from a surprise attack during a raid on the Snakerocks, the crush they had been nursing privately on her grew, and they confessed. Foxstep gently turned them down, and they remained good friends with each other. When Silverstream left Foxstep and a then kit Sycamore-, Lightningclaw stepped up and offered to become a parental figure for the molly. Foxstep agreed and the two worked together to raise Sycamore-. Lightningclaw is more of a cousin than a parent, which they both enjoy.

Aww this is super cute, Lightningclaw seems nice. Its good to see other cats taking a role in raising a kit, especially considering that in canon not even the dads do anything. Its always nice to see multiple cats taking an interest in raising the kits of the clan.

-Aunt, Tawnyflower. Tawnyflower is a large, sleek and muscular amber classic tabby tortoiseshell molly with deep green eyes, long fur and a few scars. Younger sister of Foxstep, she was born a few moons after Sycamore- and the two grew up in the nursery together, and became very close. Aside from Foxstep, Tawnyflower is Sycamore-’s closest confident, and the two can often be seen sharing tongues and going out on patrols together. Tawnyflower is a very gregarious molly, and loves being surrounded by friends and family - she believes that everyone should have a good support system, and if they do not have one, Tawnyflower will gladly take them into her family. She adores kits too and is particularly brilliant at looking at them, giving the queens a welcome respite from being tumbled over and ear-pulling of rambunctious kits. Cannot lie to save her life, she prefers to tell the honest truth, and loves exploring every nook and cranny of camp, as well as outside. Lately, she’s been spending more time with another molly named Yarrowfur, an epistatic white molly with odd eyes.

Lovely, I am a fan of ambers and lesbian babs.

-Grandfather, Brokentail, formerly Stormclaw. Brokentail is a dark blue classic tabby cat with a white belly, long fur and amber eyes. Previously holding the title of Deputy, they soon stepped down after Foxstep had Sycamore-, wanting to spend the rest of their time with slowly expanding family. In their prime, they were a well-respected warrior, leading their Clan into several battles and at one point, rose to the rank of battle tactician. They were known for being calm in battle, yet ruthless and their attention to detail in battle led their clan to many victories. Now, older and wiser, Brokentail is a highly sought out storyteller, and is calm, yet still holds a stubborn streak. Brokentail (then Stormclaw) has never been great at running, as just a few miles can make them have trouble breathing. During the spring, their allergies flare up and sneezes can be heard from the elder’s den, much to their embarrassment. Stormclaw’s tail was crushed in an accident and after much deliberation, they took the name Brokentail. They wear their new name with pride, and are often sought after for advice from Clanmates. Their mate is Ryeheart.

Yesss reclaiming and re purposing a misused name from canon. I love this, he sounds like a good old man.

-Grandfather, Ryeheart. Ryeheart is a large tom with long fur and hazel eyes. His fur is a warm golden-brown, and he is one of the rare cats in the clan that bears the Amber gene, thanks to some house pet ancestry in his bloodline. Ryeheart is brave and headstrong, and doesn’t back down from a challenge, which would explain the numerous scars that criss-cross his face and ears. He wears them with pride and will gladly give a story about how he earned them to the apprentices and kits that visit - though, some of the older cats have noticed that everytime he tells a story of how he received a scar, it changes every time, getting wilder and more questionable. Regardless, he loves telling stories almost as much as his mate, and the two will often compete to see who can tell a story best. He adores his daughters and still now will brag about their accomplishment to the other elders at Gathering time. He wishes the best for his granddaughter, and while he may not offer the steadfast advice of Brokentail, he does care in his own way and will say so in his own way. (so he’d p much be warrior male “train and fight!! Solve your problems head on!!”)

Sycamore has a lovely supportive family! Its a pity she feels pressured to live up to their legacy.

Extra:

-Sycamore-’s suffix is pending. I’m not sure what to make it, i’m working on it.

-She’s very close with her family, but at times, feels pressure to live up to (what she considers to be) great expectations.

-Is attracted to darker pelts. Lighter pelts hold no value to her.

-Originally, she started out as an AU re-working of Silverstream of RiverClan, but in the short time i’ve spent with her, she’s moving away from that and i’m excited to see where she goes.

I like these fun little quirks, and I love the idea of taking a canon character who’s story you werent happy with and reworking it, but its even better when that turns into your own story.

-I plan for her to be in a inter-clan relationship; she meets a ForestClan warrior (who’s a blue smoke polydactly tom; haven’t named them yet, but I’m leaning towards Cranestorm or Birchstorm) and at first, is cautious and a bit shy, but after they spend some time together, she starts to open up and they become friends. At first, she’s worried about being caught, but finds that she likes breaking the rules and wants to lead her own path, separate from her family and so goes along with it eagerly as time progresses. She and her mate end up being discovered by the seer of ForestClan who tells them this is a bad idea. They both ignore him, and eventually, they have kittens. Both Clans assume that the blue smoke warrior and her just simply had a mating for new blood only, but are surprised when he wants to move to MarshClan. He does, and the two become betrothed to each other (something else I’m trying out for this. If two cats of different clans have kits, one can move to the other’s clan, and then they become betrothed; in the past, this was used as a way to somewhat control inter-clan relationships if they were truly serious, but it’s since died down when the story starts.)

This seems like a very mature way to handle an interclan relationship. There is some drama and secrecy, but in the end, they make the decision to be together and it doesnt sound like it ends in tragedy. Im very tired of interclan romances that end in tragedy or go on forever instead of just making a solid decision, so this is a breath of fresh air.

-Sycamore- is a very picky eater. She also collects bones and has a little collection of them she’s built up over the moons.

- Her mentor was Crowcloud, a black tom with lemon yellow eyes and a torn ear. He was patient and became like a second father to Sycamore-; the two are still close even now, and often go hunting together.

I dont know why, but Crowcloud has a lovely ring to it.

Anyway! Thank you for the submission! She is a lovely character!

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

HOTCH: Agent Prentiss here can run point on this. She’s quite the cunning linguist.

EMILY: Cunning linguist? More like cunniling-

JJ: Emily, don’t you dare.

HOTCH: …

HOTCH: So, where’s the victim’s body?

SHERIFF: Uh… right this way…

[a-gay-bloodmage]

—Lavender—

Pairing: Sera x Female Trevelyan

Pairing Type: F/F

Words: 1,390

Warnings: Angst, Inability to Deal With Own Feelings, Bonding Between a Lesbian and a Very Small Cat, Hurt and Comfort, The Magic of Love and Actual Magic

Kiora was an idiot. She was a jerk, an ass, a terrible girlfriend. Sera threw another burnt cookie off the rooftop, watching it shatter into a million tiny crumbs on the cobblestones below and send birds scattering. She sniffled and threw another and another and another until the ground was covered in broken bits of cookies and she had nothing left to throw.

She wiped her nose, trying to ignore the stupid tears in her eyes. Why was she so upset over Kiora being a jerk? She should be angry, not sad. Well, she was angry, but she was sad, too. She was angry and sad and lonely and angry again.

She wanted to hit something, but there wasn't anything good enough to hit. She wanted to yell at someone, but nobody was around at this time of night. She stood up and walked back into her messy room, trying to ignore the bits of Kiora's stuff scattered among hers. She wanted so badly to gather it all up and throw it out her window, but she couldn't bring herself to.

Please, Sera, I don't want you to get hurt, she had said, in that stupid, weepy, whispery, adorable voice of hers. It'll just be two or three weeks, please understand, please, sunshine.

Sera had told her she didn't care. That if she didn't want her there she should just say so and stop making excuses. Kiora had told her that she was misunderstanding. That she was honestly just keeping her safe. Sera had called her stupid. Kiora had gotten such a sad look in her pretty violet eyes that Sera had wanted to apologize then and there. But she had been stubborn. She didn't apologize at all, and Kiora had just left, touching Sera's hand for just a gentle second before tugging on her satchel and walking out Sera's door. Sera had broken something in anger, but she couldn't remember what. It didn't really matter.

She fell into her small, messy windowsill bed, trying to ignore the fact that this was Kiora's favorite place to nap. It was Sera's bed, not Kiora's. She curled around a pillow, annoyed at how much comfort it brought. It was comfortable because it reminded her of Kiora, but she was supposed to be mad at Kiora, so it made her mad. But she wasn't all the way mad. And the longer she stayed curled up around that pillow in the dark, the more the loneliness overtook the anger. And then she was sniffling more, and then she was crying, and then she was burying her face in that stupid pillow that reminded her of Kiora, and she was sobbing all alone because she had driven Kiora away. Because she had been dumb and she had yelled at the only person who was ever only nice to her, and she had made the girl who was only ever kind and sleepy sad, and Kiora was never supposed to be sad. She was choking on her own tears and snot and it was gross and stupid and childish but she couldn't stop.

Only when she heard a faint scratching at the door did she lift her face from her snot and tear covered pillow. There was more scratching, and more, and a little more before the door was slowly pushed open an inch because she was too dumb to properly latch it. It was one of Kiora's dumb cats, the baby, Patches.

"Go away," she muttered, glaring at the kitten. "Stupid little bastard, go away."

The kitten just mewled sadly and jumped up onto the windowsill bed, shoving its stupid little face into Sera's. She didn't bother shoving it off. Patches seemed to understand she was upset, settling in beneath her chin and purring against her wet skin, trying to calm her. She took a minute before she sat up, picking the tiny little thing up in her hand like a doll. The kitten didn't mind, and actually seemed to like being held.

She held Patches to her chest as she walked back out onto the rooftop, sneaking along the ramparts and past any late-night guards as she made her way to the Inquisitor's chambers. She had to put the kitten in her sleep shirt's pocket for a little while as she scaled the wall to Kiora's balcony, but thankfully Patches knew not to move too much or try to escape her pocket. She made her way into Kiora's room, and slowly got up onto her big, too-soft bed.

Kiora had left a robe out on her quilt that she had probably started to pack but left behind because she didn't want to carry the extra weight and didn't mind wearing robes that were a little sweaty. Patches wiggled his way out of Sera's pocket, his tiny little claws poking her breast a little. She didn't have the energy to scold the dumb little bastard. He jumped down onto the robe, pawing at it and mewling up at Sera. He bit the black and dark purple fabric, attempting to drag it over to her, but not seeming to realize that he was not only far too weak to lift so much fabric, but that he was standing on it, too.

Sera picked him up with one hand, and the robe with the other. Kiora was kinda tall, and she was heavy, too, so there was a lot of fabric. Mages always wore impractical, flowy, decorative nonsense. She held the robes up to her face, and breathed in the smell of it. It smelled like the elfroot Kiora smoked, and the charms she wore that smelled like pomegranates. And it smelled like lavender, too, which was weird, because Kiora didn't usually smell like lavender. Sera took another deep breath in through her nose, and the lavender seemed to get stronger.

Her fists tightened up around the robe, and she heard a crinkle of paper. Patches was purring as he curled up in her lap, covered by the heavy fabric. She fished around in the mass of black and violet clothing. It was a little piece of yellowish parchment, covered with Kiora's soft, loopy handwriting.

My sunshine, it said. I'm sorry I had to leave you behind at Skyhold. I'm sure you'll be mad, and you deserve to be. I wouldn't be able to stand myself if I brought you along only to have you get hurt. I love you too much to put you in danger. Sera sniffled, wiping at her eyes. I knew you'd come to my room, and I only hope you find this note. I enchanted this robe to help you sleep in my absence. I love you, Sunshine. -Kiora.

Sera could hardly fathom what she could've ever done to deserve someone as fantastic as Kiora. Someone who took the time to make a robe smell like Orlesian flowers just so that Sera could fall asleep more easily while she was away. Sera fished Patches out from between her legs, holding him while she got under the thick, dark purple and black blankets. Everything Kiora owned seemed to be dark purple or black or both. She set Patches down on a pillow she pulled against her body, wrapping her arms and legs around it, the robe nestled between the pillow and her chest so that she could breathe in its scent. Patches was purring, his blue eyes gently shut as he fell asleep easily under the magic's influence. The magic probably only hardly touched his pink little nose before he was out for the night.

Her muscles began to relax, and she felt the warm, cozy, sleepy feeling of Kiora's magic wash over her. The pain in her back that had come from slumping over the edge of the roof and curling up into herself began to disappear, replaced by soothing warmth. She felt twice as heavy, her body sinking into the soft mattress.

As she dozed off, Kiora's wonderful magic running through her veins, she couldn't help but wonder if Kiora knew she was asleep in her bed. Because—however mad it would sound in the morning—she felt her blonde hair being smoothed and a kiss being planted on her forehead, and could hear—ever so faintly—a whispery goodnight as she breathed in the sweet scent of lavender.

[fantroll-purgatory]

@47098

FIRST: Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia!

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why):Talpie Mammor Talpie, taken from the scientific name for a mole. Mammor, an altered version of the god of greed.

Maybe substitute Mamuna for Mammor? I know that’s kind of a nitpick, but Mamuna is a regularly accepted alternate spelling of Mammon when she’s presented as a demonness. (It’s also the name of a Slavic demonness of maliciousness and gluttony but we don’t really have to acknowledge that).

Talpie Mamuna...

Age: 6.9 sweeps

Weapon: Unsure!

Flashbang. She wants to be the center of attention but doesn’t like hurting people. Boom.

Inventory: ADVENTURE STYLE. When she picks things up, they get locked in chests. To open them again, she has to find a key hidden somewhere. She likes to keep things fresh.

I like that haha. Do the keys just get randomly scattered within the environment she’s in? Is there a certain radius? Things to think about.

Blood color: Cobalt.

Trolltag: vivaciousMoneygrubber [VM]

I do like this already. I might also recommend illustriousMoneygrubber[IM], just because of her goal to make a name for herself. Because she’s so charismatic, i think Moneygrubber definitely comes off quirky and proud despite typically being an insult.

Quirk:  OBVIOUSL¥ ONL¥ THE B€$T AND MO$T AMAZING QUIRK €V€R.

(replaces Es with euro signs, Ss with dollar signs, and Ys with the sign for yen. also talks in capitals, because she likes to be heard.)

Fitting!

Special Abilities (if any): None!

Since she’s a cobalt, she DOES get the benefit of psychic resistance!

Lusus: A blind mole with Big Hands. Like Drilbur.

Oh that is so cute I love that. I definitely don’t disagree. If I Had an alternate recommendation for consideration, may I suggest a badgermole?

I recommend this mostly because of the title recommendations I’m going to be making later- but we’ll get to that.

Personality:

The most confident person in the room, Talpie is always a standout when compared to anyone she is close to. She LOVES standing out, hence her always choosing to look different. She never lets things lie, instead dragging things out until she decides that it’s over. She is ultimately insecure about her body and certain parts of her personality- IE: the loneliness and fear for personal relationships, as well as her poor eyesight due to her tenfold vision- but loves every other part of herself. She wants to project herself for the world, take it by storm, make a name for herself, yet she fears rejection or failure because of her weaknesses.

Talpie is very charismatic, extremely happy to talk to anyone who wants to listen to her. She can ramble on for hours about nothing or give solid- if not blunt- advice about most anything. She might be a bit much for some people due to her extreme advice, either giving humble advice or passion filled declarations of emotion or intuition. Other times she will shoot down people’s ideas in a heartbeat and replace them with her own. Often she will think a plan is foolproof despite only taking minutes to think it up, but because of her extreme adaptability it somehow still works out (most of the time). Her recklessness does often get people hurt, though, and while she may not show it she does always feel sorry when she hurts people. She is a compassionate person on the inside, a cold-blooded worker on the outside. Notice that that said WORKER, because no matter how much she wants to act like a cold-blooded, badass killer, she can’t hurt someone for the life of her.

She is incredibly caring. When someone is hurt, she will complain about their weakness yet carry them to safety. When someone is heartbroken, she will tell them they should have expected it yet offer them a shoulder to cry on. When someone is depressed she will be blunt and forceful, but speak in a way that will only cheer them up. She can’t handle not being the center of attention, but she will focus her own attentions to whoever she feels needs it. If she thinks you don’t actually need help, she won’t bother with you unless she decides there isn’t anything better to do. If someone gets hurt while she is about to achieve something and they won’t live if she keeps going, she will choose the life of the person ahead of her goal. She will blow it off, absolutely, and call them a fucking stupid idiot, and she WILL regret it, but she knows that she’s weak in that regard. (or, she calls herself weak for it)

She is goal driven. She knows this. She knows that she would always end up choosing her goals over the people she cares about, aside from a few special circumstances. She wants to make a name for herself, craves the validation that comes from overcoming adversity and proving everything wrong yet she fears the loneliness that has come from that endeavor so far. She fears that she will be lonely her entire life, so she tries to keep herself at a distance. She doesn’t think she can be successful and have meaningful relationships.

Her tenfold vision is the reason why she isolates herself, as well.

I love her personality and the amount of thought you’ve put into! Characters with conflicting goals and natures can be very fascinating to play with. I’m going to go through real quick and just kind of note (mostly for myself) themes I see in her personality.

High energy, impulsive/reckless, caring, adventurous, afraid of isolation and loneliness, prioritizes her aims over other people (except in life or death situations), considers herself weak for making concessions out of concern for other people, overconfident and self-conscious at once.

Interests:

MONEY

action movies (she likes to watch action movies with female protagonists b/c she is a big lesbian)

HEROINES IN… NICE CLOTHES (spandex)

GETTING SHIT DONE

WHOOPING ASS

TABLETOP ROLEPLAY (alone, she doesnt have any irl friends only online ones) saying dumb things and instantly regretting it SIMPLICITY

“Saying dumb things and instantly regretting it” really made me laugh hbhg. I feel it, Talpie. Also tabletop roleplay alone... interesting. Does she act out the scenes herself? Like some kind of... pacifist flarp? Maybe she could like writing stories too, uses the tabletop roleplaying to write down these Adventures.

Since she likes the idea of Making A Name For Herself she could maybe also be interested in military, even if just a little bit? It seems like on Alternia the best way to Get Known is to be an actor or to be Really Powerful And Influential and since most people end up growing up into the military... it’s an unfortunately efficient way to receive validation and commendation.

Title: SYLPH OF TIME

Now... I think time player probably does fit her at least adjacently, but I think in this case it might be playing too much into what she Wants To Be and isn’t providing her with enough of a challenge. I know not all titles have to Aim For Change, but she seems like the kind of character with a rocky starts who needs something to either break her down or force her to Develop.

so I’m going to shift this to... Rogue of Blood, I think.

A passive role like Rogue would be very hard for her to play, because it is something lowkey, something that is focused heavily on sharing- something she doesn’t seem very keen on. Learning not to allocate things properly would be a struggle for her.

Blood is the aspect of the bound. The tied. I think giving her a role that forces her to be more grounded and to find more bonds might be a good idea.

The Rogue of Blood passively moves around ties, moves around the relationships and responsibilities and chains that form between people. With this ability she’d be able to passively lead a group. It makes sense for someone so goal oriented and trying to shunt her into a leadership position instead of letting her do her own thing might create some interesting dynamics.

This is also why I suggested the badgermoles earlier- they’re the original earthbenders in the ATLA universe and the inverse of Breath is Blood, of air is earth. It’s something that might force her to be more down to earth.

Her inverse would be Knight of Breath, which would explain her starting out inundated with all this adventurous energy. Her intense separatism is something she uses entirely, recklessly, and hasn’t yet learned to harness. Once she does, though, she’d be able to exploit freedom and movement, shifting around obligations to leave Openness and Opportunity in its wake. Fun stuff.

Land: CASTLES and CREVICES

Love that name. I might also recommend Castles and Cells just to make some jokes about shackles wrt her aspect.

Dream Planet:Prospit

I think I Do agree with this assignment. I was a little on the fence because of her doubts, but the fact that she lives more in the moment and makes some impulsive decisions and seems to focus a lot more externally than internally sold me on it.

So with all that figured out, I can finally assign her a sign.

Scorcer, the sign of the Champion.

Now on to the redesign!:

Horns: I kept them the same! I like that they kind of look like the claws of a mole, so I thought they fit her theme 

Hair: I fixed up her bangs a little to put it more in front of the horns, just to kind of push the horns back and make things look better layered. I also wanted to adjust the bangs to be based off of Evie from The Mummy! For the back of her hair I changed it to a braid as a reference to Lara Croft. 

Face: I got rid of the artifacting around her eyes to make things look crisper and cleaner. I also made her mouth a bit thicker just so it would stand out more on her face. 

Cape: I changed the color to match her blood. I thought the saturation would help it pop more and would bring in a more cohesive design. I also made the strings pop more. And I adjusted the back of the cape to be more rounded. I thought it made it look more like it was laying on the ground and gave it more visible weight. 

Shorts: I brought in a different bright saturated blue in the same family as her blood color to give it a new range of values. It helps her pop a lot, again. And I gave her some gold snaps! Very passive reference to her greed theme. 

Shoes: I liked her little leggings, so I kept them that color but gave them a more distinctive outline. I also changed her shoes. I used some of Jake’s shoes as a base, but added a steel toe and made them bright red. 

Thank you for sharing another lovely troll!

-CD

[chocopalustre]

are U interested in reading my final paper for a course on Queer Literature and Theory? do u like lesbians? are u curious about lesbian sexuality in pornography? do u need a good sassy laugh?

look no further than right under this cut!!!

Content Warning: This essay contains sensitive content discussing sexually explicit material.

Tribadism: Lesbian Bump and Grinding. (Definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary)

“Hey, Kylee, how do lesbians have sex?” I pause for a moment, trying desperately not to roll my eyes. With a deadpan expression, I hold up two victory signs with my fingers and mash them together. “We scissor each other, of course.” I let a few seconds pass, taking in their look of bewilderment, before I crack a sardonic smile. I was joking of course. Every good lesbian knows that scissoring isn’t actually a real thing. Scissoring is what straight men think they see women doing in lesbian porn, opening their legs and criss-crossing them together in a cutting motion. Fake lesbians scissor. Sophisticated lesbians trib.

Of course, it took me a while to learn this. Like many other queer youth, I struggled to squeeze out any information in regard to lesbian sex out of the public sex education system. What choice did I have but to stumble across some poorly-made erotic content on the Internet? (Many choices, in fact, but I didn’t know that then.) Much of my knowledge about how two women have sex together without a man initially came from this exploration, shortsighted and misrepresented as it was. But now that I am a Real Adult Lesbian, I am interested in Real Adult Lesbian Sex. As such, I want to move beyond the question of what lesbian sex is and instead examine how pornographic sex represents the lesbian community. What better way to explore this idea than to return to my original Sapphic-inclined childhood investigation… porn on the Internet!

I was a naïve child, so of course I didn’t know that the lesbian porn I was viewing has a specific name: Ersatz porn. Ersatz porn is the term used to describe “girl-on-girl” pornography made by the straight man, for the straight man. And it is this porn that inflames the hearts of indignant female feminists everywhere, including my own. So imagine my surprise upon discovering that sometimes these fake lezzys fueled a fire in my loins as well. How was I supposed to reconcile this?

The 3 P’s: Penetration, Pleasure, and Pussy Shots

Everything I hate about lesbian porn made for men’s consumption comes to the tip of my tongue instantly- pun not intended. First, there are the fingernails. Every performer has an obscenely long, pointed, hot pink $40 set of acrylics. If you buy into the longstanding and dodgy myth of nail length indicating whether a woman is gay, then the 1-inch kitty claws on the screen in front of you are a dead giveaway: She isn’t a lesbian, and the girl she’s fucking isn’t enjoying it. I myself have a love-hate relationship with the nail clipper, often keeping my nails longer (a reasonable length, of course), but I can definitively say that the prospect of somebody scratching up my vulva with those talons, pretending it’s pleasurable… Needless to say, not my kind of thing. Unfortunately, these pricey manicures are least of our worries.

Ersatz porn has only one audience in mind: Men. And every straight man knows that women, lesbian or not, just want a dick. This isn’t about her pleasure, it’s about his. And by involving aggressive sucking and fucking with a strap-on, the male viewer can identify with the woman wearing it on screen. Her purpose is to simply act as a placeholder for a male body. For some odd reason, men still seem to think that women easily get off on penetration alone, so it’s not surprising that there is little clitoral stimulation in girl-on-girl porn. These poor guys don’t know any better. But us lesbians know the truth: The clit is the shit. Dildos and vibes all have their place in the bedroom for dykes, but the end-goal of it all is arousal and orgasm, not a penis. Unfortunately, the sole attention on penetration means that the best these pseudo-lesbians can get are pseudo-orgasms (not that many viewers would be able to tell the difference).

I was happy to discover that I am not the only one curious about other queer women’s take on “lesbian” porn; in an exploratory experiment performed by Todd Morrison and Dani Tallack, a small group of lesbian and bisexual women were interviewed after viewing scenes from both Ersatz porn and lesbian-created lesbian porn. They discussed what they saw the films representing in terms of lesbian identity. Viewers noted that the women having sex in the girl-on-girl scenes didn’t appear to enjoy it at all; there was no genuine emotion nor any interest in pleasing one another. One viewer remarked, “Yeah, this didn’t look very physical … She could have been reading the paper while the girl was banging her.” When one girl fingers or goes down on her partner, she rarely looks up to make eye contact. It’s all very detached, and the pained expressions on their faces accompanied by high pitched whines seem less like the result of a good fucking and more of a “God when the hell is this gonna be over” response.

The male gaze is all about those close-up shots of the genitalia, which is sort of confusing to me because as much as they want to see it, they don’t seem to worship our labia as much as their local dyke does. The objectification and exploitation of the female body is at work, a key instrument in the misogynistic toolbox designed specifically for mainstream heteronormative pornographic orgasms. Let’s pull out the hammer then, shall we? Our good friend penetration makes yet another appearance, often combining hardcore fucking with restraint practices—whether it’s steel handcuffs or a rough pair of hands clenched tightly around wrists. In and out, in and out, we see the pink dildo pounding into a pussy, and rarely does the camera stray from this scene to her face, essentially detaching female pleasure from the action of penetration. She is reduced to an object in which the only use is a hole to be fucked. The penetrator then forces the body below her to slobber and choke all over the dildo, hissing out abusive and demeaning remarks: “Your dirty little fucking pussy likes to take this big fucking cock, doesn’t it? Dirty little slut.”

Pornhub gratuitously offers up tons of content like this. Just look at “TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” (Don’t worry, I took the liberty of analyzing the scene to pull out its most ridiculous parts so you don’t have to.) Here we have a busty blonde TSA agent watching two naked women sixty-nine on a table with a bright light shining down on them… very reminiscent of a visit to the doctor’s office—minus the sex.[1] The blonde doesn’t engage in any physical contact while the other two are going at it and instead looks on with a forced smile of pleasure. Then we have the painfully slow zoom in on the JUICY WET PUSSY. There was also a gun involved, just in case you forgot this was porn made for men; nothing screams heterosexual masculinity like pointing an armed weapon at a woman’s head while you fuck her. And finally, how could we forget the infamous double dildo scene? It’s very important to show that every hole is filled by a phallus. If we zoom our male gaze out a bit to take in the whole body, I fear what we see is not much better than these money shots.

Being Butch and BDSM

Let me just lay this on the table now: I am a hyper-feminine queer woman. I am all too familiar with comments like, “But you’re so pretty?!” or “I never would have guessed…” when a straight person finds out that, yes, I am in fact queer as fuck. My love for glitter, killer eyeliner, and an overall hatred of pants puts me at the unwanted mercy of male attention. Even among the queer community, I feel the need to loudly announce my presence; I’m here, I’m queer, and you can shove your misguided compliments on my “straight” appearance right up your ass. One would think then that I enjoy the performers in mainstream porn, that I would laud them for actively combating femme invisibility. The problem is that a) because of this “representation” men think feminine-appearing lesbians are really just college chicks experimenting and having threesomes before running into the muscular arms of someone with a real penis and b) it simply doesn’t turn me on. Where are the butch ladies? Perhaps my biggest beef with Ersatz porn is that I feel it actually does a disservice to representing lesbians, even my fellow femmes. Representation is only good if it is appropriately and accurately diverse, and Ersatz porn is decidedly not. Sure, the hair color may change and maybe one of them has double Ds while the other has Cs, but other than that… Femmes aren’t flat and they’re certainly not fat.

Returning to the interviews, the participants noted that the bodies in Ersatz porn reflected society’s expectation for straight women, even if they were supposed to be lesbians. Even more unsettling, the performers look less like women and more like girls. Straight men seem to think that college freshmen have the time, energy, and money to maintain a perfectly hairless physique. To loosely quote the response of a previous professor of mine to a male partner who wanted her pubic hair shaved: “Why? Do you like to fuck little girls?” Proportionally, their appearances are reminiscent of the old school Barbie doll: slim waist, young face, and huge boobs. Women, lesbian or otherwise, come in all different shapes and sizes, but it seems that these straight male viewers have yet to catch on to that. Difficult enough is it to accept that two women can get sexual satisfaction without a man, they’ll be damned if she’s fat or has short cropped hair! The performers’ bodies appear to be the biggest difference between mainstream lesbian porn and porn produced and made specifically for queer women.

There is one specific butch body that comes to mind within the mainstream sphere, however: Lily Cade. Now, I have my own gripes with Cosmopolitan magazine. Their advice essentially boils down to “here’s why you’re single and sad, so let us show you how to be sexy in order to catch a man and fulfill your meaning in life!” Any articles that mention identities outside the normative are riddled with misinformation and operate only as a way to clickbait intersectional feminists into reading them. Needless to say, my initial reaction to their article titled “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star” was dismissive at best. However, upon looking at the photo of the petite, jean jacket-wearing woman with choppy ginger hair and heavily lined eyes underneath the title, I knew I recognized her and couldn’t resist giving the article a read. (Like I said, fucking clickbait.) Cosmo names Lily Cade the exception to the rule that most girl-on-girl porn stars are actually straight. Before her career really kicked off, Cade described herself as a butchy lesbian with a little bit of baby fat. She struggled to convince directors to give her a chance because her appearance didn’t fit what mainstream porn was selling. Cade then lost 40 pounds, got a tan, and revamped her sexy lingerie in order to break through the business. So how does a real dyke feel producing Ersatz porn?

Cade admits that sparking chemistry on set with the straight women she performs with is one of the most difficult parts of her job. Interestingly enough, Cade criticizes girl-on-girl porn because it’s not meant for female viewers, that the overall the performance is “fake on every level.” Although she weaseled her way into the business by adjusting her look, she doesn’t necessarily think that she performs the way that everybody else in Ersatz porn does. Cade strives for authenticity; she makes an effort to connect with the women so that they can perform a real sex scene. Cade comments, “You don’t have to make love to me, you don’t have to even touch me. Just let me fuck you, and I’ll get you off, and you’ll like it.” But how is it that a lesbian performer can engage in the content she criticizes? Indeed, this is a point of contention for many people involved in queer porn. Lily Cade has come to acquire the label of “sell-out” among the queer underbelly of the mainstream. The changes Cade made that brought her success in the mainstream industry only resulted in derision in the realm of queer pornography. Already a sort of niche business, Indie queer pornographers could have used another butch body to represent and pleasure us lesbians out here. To turn your back on your community and play pretend for the straight team? Unthinkable. Worse yet is the fact that, of all venues, her outlet for public exposure was Cosmo magazine.

But who are we to say that Cade isn’t having authentic sex? After all, she is still a lesbian. And her attitude toward her work certainly seems gay to me; she maintains a high level of enthusiasm and a devotion to performing sex with her female colleagues. For the lesbians that do stumble across her work within the mainstream sphere, Cade is putting out content that is more accessible and relatable for them. Her apparent conformity does not mean she is suddenly no longer a queer woman. In response to criticisms, Cade says that she’s “chosen to create a look that is accessible to a more mainstream audience, but is undeniably a lesbian look… I don’t see myself as a sell-out; I see myself as subversive.” And to all of the straight male viewers of her work, Lily Cade has a message: “I’m showing them how a real dyke does it.”

When the butches do come out to play, they star disproportionately in the BDSM genre, especially in mainstream porn. So even though I want to see the bodies I’m attracted to, I’m caught in a catch-22 situation: Yes, the butches exist, but often only in circumstances involving extreme violence and submission. That isn’t to say that BDSM isn’t arousing. In fact, BDSM relies on domination, bondage, sadism, and masochism as a turn-on for viewers. What I’ve found, though, is that in mainstream porn BDSM is performed in a male heterosexual context rather than a lesbian context. Another Pornhub gem, “Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5,” exemplifies this concept. The video is a thirty-minute compilation of strap-on fucking with butch women doing most of the labor. The content and title combined appear to give us lesbians the recognition we deserve. However, it opens with a quote: “By far, one of the most popular fantasies women have is being the man for one night, literally. That’s right, I’m referring to a strap on penis.” In wearing this sex toy, a lesbian is suddenly transformed into a heterosexual man; it’s clear that the butch body still acts less as a queer woman and more as the placeholder for the male viewer.

Abuse and objectification of the female body also is heightened to suit the male gaze. Hair is pulled violently back as she extends one of her legs straight in the air so that our view of the dick is not obscured. It does not matter that these inorganic, acrobatic positions are not pleasurable nor conducive to sex; penetration and the role of the penis is the primary focus. There is little clitoral stimulation involved, the scenes are rough and more demanding than pleasurable, and the strap-on is glorified as the Sub is made to perform a blowjob for the Dom.[2] Finally, one of my personal favorite scenes—a long-haired femme being pounded against a weight rack, her tennis shoes still on. How did she get her clothes off without taking those bulky sneakers off? It doesn’t matter, these women are making gains at the gym, appealing to the Frat boy’s favorite pasttime. In the end, it seems you have two options to choose from when it comes to Ersatz porn: Watch a threesome between Sorority girls experimenting with lesbian sex for the first time through a hazing ritual, or watch a (still pretty feminine) butch relentlessly subjugate a dubiously consenting hyper-feminine girl and not even pretend to enjoy it.

Advertising and Authentic Arousal

Obviously, then, queer porn is much better at depicting authentic lesbian relationships than Ersatz porn… Or is it? My knee-jerk response would be to let out a loud, defiant YES! OF COURSE IT IS! It’s far easier to find what you are into when perusing the realm of queer porn—even if getting access to it is much more difficult in the first place. Unlike mainstream lesbian porn, which you can find in abundance uploaded on sites like Pornhub or xHamster, queer-produced porn often does not find its way out beyond access to those who pay for it. But when you do find it, you’ve hit the Sapphic jackpot. Performers vary from the familiar femmes to chubby dykes, from chapsticks to stone butches and trans women. The scenes are often more believable because of the bodies in them; they are diverse and range in size, echoing many a lady-lover’s desire to appreciate all parts of all women. The women in Morrison’s study noted that the performers were often much older, “not like they had pubic hair a week ago,” and that “they had marks on their bodies, like stretch marks and stuff. They weren’t perfect.” Not only do the bodies reflect a diverse array of lesbians in terms of style and age, they are also more realistic because of their “imperfections.” These are the same flaws that are quickly airbrushed and implanted away in the mainstream sphere. However, nail length still seemed to be an issue, and what the women lacked in a perfect figure they made up for with the heavy use of makeup, accessories, and perfect hairdos. It seems that no matter who it’s for, pornography still has a certain aesthetic of ideal beauty to maintain.[3]

Bodies aside, what about content? When a butch straps on a dildo and fucks her hot femme girlfriend, are the underlying themes really so different from Ersatz porn? Even in queer porn, it appears that the strict gender binary has its place. Unfortunately, no matter how exclusive the lesbian club may be, societal expectations of gender roles and expression still exert themselves full force on our bodies. Yet somehow, as queer women, we proclaim that this is still what real lesbian sex is. Whether or not it resembles heterosexual sex is not the point or purpose; the fact of the matter is that these are queer bodies performing queer sex. Theoretically, it does not rely on misogyny the way that porn for heterosexual men does. The performers engage in a subversive and empowering scene where they reclaim their right to their bodies and their sex lives. They are performing with their fellow lesbians in mind, not acting for a male gaze.

When examining how porn produced by lesbian women is advertised for consumers, one thing becomes very clear: We want real sex. In order to draw in their demographic, many queer pornography sites capitalize on the idea of authenticity. A few catchphrases used by CyberDyke.net include: “We depict the sex the way people really have it.” “real fantasies / real orgasms / real lust / real butches / real bodies / real sex.” Well fuck, the site has me sold! I would take CyberDyke’s “porn aimed at real women and lesbians” over Lesbian Cheerleader Squad 2 any day. How do I know that those lesbians are fake? Well, I don’t, really, but I’ve never seen porn aimed at straight men claim that the women are Real Lesbians. Mainstream pornography doesn’t need to affirm the sexualities of their performers because men don’t really care about authentic representation. A title with “TWO HOT WOMEN” in it is just enough and the Kleenex are out. Women wouldn’t be watching their porn, anyways, so what does it matter? Perhaps queer porn is not showing us reality, but rather performing “a fantasy of authenticity.” Pornography is essentially a visual fantasy, and we lesbians dream about a world in which our identities are valid, every woman loves us back, and men aren’t around to fuck it up and exploit our desires. It is that illusion of authenticity which gives queer lesbian porn its allure.

It may come as a surprise to learn that not all lesbians necessarily agree that queer porn is the better porn. Authenticity, it seems, has to do with much more than just a body. In a different set of interviews conducted by Valerie Webber, non-heterosexual women who performed lesbian porn made for men were asked to discuss how their performance related to their sexual orientation. It turns out that many did not believe that they were performing “fake” sex, rather simply adjusting their actions to capture and create what the audience needed. Performing with a woman who was also lesbian-identified did not immediately make the scene the performer’s real sex life, and most agreed that the line between their work and authentic sex was not so clearly defined.

Despite the many quarrels we have with Ersatz porn, lesbian-created lesbian pornography cannot escape our critical eye either. Emotional intimacy makes sex appear authentic; when both women are clearly into each other (not giving weird sultry looks in the male viewer’s camera’s direction), I’m much more likely to be aroused. But intimacy quickly strays into mushy romance in lesbian-created porn. The stereotype that women are more sensual and emotive and thus lesbian relationships would maximize on romantic, loving sexual activity is a key point of criticism in queer porn. I, for one, resent the assumption that any sex I have will be vanilla by default. Some viewers admitted to preferring scenes from Ersatz porn; one remarked that the lesbian-created scene “was completely… boring in every way. The music was boring, the women were boring, the scene was boring, the colors were boring, the film was boring, the camera stayed stationary for Christ’s sake. It was boring.”[4] Another admitted, “Um, you guys are going to think I’m a bad lesbian, but I really like the penetration. It’s hot.” Bad Lesbian Club rejoice! Her guilt echoed my own anxiety at my arousal by certain girl-on-girl porn scenes. But clearly not every dyke is into the same thing, and even content produced by queer creators can fall prey to harmful stereotypes.

Not all lesbian porn is quite so corny, of course. Vanilla can be a pleasant no doubt, but as one viewer noted, “Let’s get it really raunchy sometime.” When some of us come out of the closet, we bring along some of our more hardcore desires—whips, sturdy ropes, ball gags, and leather collars. BDSM has long played a role in the lesbian community, and its prominence in lesbian-created pornography adds to the supposed authenticity of the performance. However, as Julie Levin Russo points out in her article, “’The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces,” it is the “mobilization of recognizable markers of dyke subculture (e.g. butch bodies, tattoos and piercings, fetish attire)” that feed into stereotypes about what being a lesbian is really like. Needless to say, not all queer women participate in or identify with these things. Although butch bodies help clue viewers into what porn is made for them, their representation is still almost exclusively present in the realm of BDSM. Themes of dominance are associated with masculinity, thus reflected in butch-heavy scenes of punishment and orgasm denial. After assessing my pleasure at certain penetration scenes in girl-on-girl porn, now I must question why I can so easily accept porn as made for my fellow lesbians through the mere presence of a butch body. It may seem more authentic to me, but for other queer women, perhaps the message they’re receiving is that certain characteristics—both in your relationship and your physical appearance—must be present in order to be real lesbian.

Reaching the Climax

Some would say that the question of authenticity is irrelevant because the purpose of pornography is to reflect viewers’ fantasies. How necessary is it to be real lesbians having sex? Why does it matter if most people can’t do the splits while they’re being eaten out? But without giving genuine thought to the performers and scenes you show, you run the risk of spreading misinformation about lesbians. Our existence cannot be denied, and failing to consider the impact of homogeneity in porn does a disservice to our very real livelihoods. The ruling is not decisive among women, queer or otherwise, as to which type of pornography is better or worse. My idea of what good porn is does not always match the reality of many queer women in the world; everybody has a different dynamic within their relationship, after all. Ultimately, though, there are definitely some things I could live without. (I’m glaring back at you, male gaze.)

[1] Doctor settings are actually quite a common scene in mainstream porn; straight men seem to have this idea that going to the gynecologist is hot. Because having my OBGYN shove a speculum up my vaginal canal is totally a turn-on, right?

[2] I’m still not sure how either party would get any personal pleasure out of choking on a silicone cock… but then again, butches are really just women who want to be men, remember?

[3] It’s not like we sweat during sex or accidentally choke on our girlfriend’s perfectly curled hair or anything.

[4] A 70-minute sex film set to classical music with zero dialogue wouldn’t be particular titillating for me, either.

Works Cited

Morrison, Todd G. and Dani Tallack. “Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Interpretations of Lesbian and Ersatz Lesbian Pornography.” Sexuality & Culture, vol. 9, no. 2, Spring2005, pp. 3-30.

Russo, Julie Levin. “‘The Real Thing’: Reframing Queer Pornography for Virtual Spaces.” In Jacobs, Katrien & Janssen, Marije & Pasquinelli, Matteo. “C’Lick Me: A Netporn Studies Reader.” Jan. 2007.

“Strapon Women Who Fuck Better Than Men – 5.” Pornhub, 2016, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577e65b319a02.

“TSA Agents Engage in Lesbian BDSM! (Part 2).” Pornhub, October 2017, https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59ccece3078ca.

Webber, Valerie. “Shades of Gay: Performance of Girl-On-Girl Pornography and Mobile Authenticities.” Sexualities, vol. 16, no. 1/2, Jan. 2013, pp. 217-235.

Wischhover, Cheryl. “What It’s Really Like to Be a Lesbian Porn Star.” Cosmopolitan. 2 Mar. 2016.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #117

It’s these sort of vignette-filled chapters that are starting to become my favorite lately. I think that’s because it’s not just a bunch of gags and jokes one after another like you’d find in a 4-koma manga. There’s a definite flow of time and continuity when Nico Tanigawa does these chapters. Not to mention that they still take the time to introduce character dynamics that can be built upon for later chapters/arcs. 

In essence, I tend to think of these as “transition” chapters because they provide content that can be used for more self-contained stories, but can still function very well as its own chapter. 

Chapter 117: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Greet the End of My Second Year

Have we given her a fanon name yet? Her panel is big enough to warrant one.

I get the feeling that if it had been some random girl pressing against her, this girl wouldn’t have thought much of it, attributing it to just a case of the train being overpacked. But because it’s Tomoko, and Ucchi mostly likely gossiped about how she’s such a creep, that it probably skewed this girl’s perception of what had happened. She was led to believe that Tomoko is some kind of touchy-feely lesbian, so that’s what she’s gonna see. 

I’ll admit, I’m not familiar with how the trains work in Japan, so this confused me enough that I didn’t actually get the joke the first time. Perhaps someone can clear it up for me?

But check out Ucchi’s posture here. Sitting upright, knees together, arms out. She clearly readying herself up, and we all know why,

Yuri Tamura shows up = instantly good chapter. 

It was around here that everything started to click in my head. Ucchi, in her increasingly stalker ways, was planning to get off on Inage, where she would board the opposite running train and hopefully run into Tomoko. So of course, when Yuri asks her why she’s not getting off, the prideful Ucchi isn’t about to admit that she wants to see Tomoko, so she first gives the excuse that she was sleeping. And when that doesn’t work, Ucchi lies that her legs went numb, but Yuri being the good person she is, helps her off the train. 

Better luck next time Emoji Girl.

Gotta say, Yuri’s annoyance here is perfectly justified when you look at it from her perspective. She made sure Ucchi didn’t miss their stop, and even offered to carry her out of the train when Ucchi claimed her legs were numb. I’m sure at some point Yuri realized that it was all BS, and given that Ucchi appeared ungrateful for help she didn’t even need, it must have struck a nerve with her.

I’d really like to see more of these two play off against each other. It’s amusing.

One thing I really like is that Nico Tanigawa doesn’t oversell when they’re introducing new or underused characters. Lots of manga do this by introducing them in a large panel with a text box that tells their name, age, class number, etc. But here, the mangaka is showing us who Itou is in a manner that is very natural. Here, we have a great case of show-not-tell as we learn more about Itou. She plays the trumpet, is part of the band, is a bit of a loner, and is otherwise pretty normal. I’m already awaiting for her focus chapter. 

Imagines Komiyama in a cheerleading outfit.

Thankfully, my out-of-character image of Komiyama was proven wrong after a quick Google search, and I realized that they’re talking about an ōendan, which is much more in-character. 

So here’s a question: why do you suppose Komiyama quit? It’s probably nothing tragic; perhaps it was just too high-energy for her. But it’s still fun to think about. 

But if Tomoki ever joined the baseball team, you know she’d rejoin in a heartbeat.

It’s always nice when Komiyama’s weirdly cute side comes out like this. Even if her impression of Itou changed from something as simple as being able to play some baseball cheer songs, I don’t think it’s a shallow relationship or anything like that. They do seem like genuinely good friends, and I do wonder a bit how they met since they’ve only known each other since high school started. In a way, It kind of parallels the whole Tomoko-Yuri friendship, with the whole creep-and-normie dynamic. I wouldn’t be pretty surprised if they became friends out of “fated” circumstances as well.

Speaking of Tomoko...

She ain’t beauty, she ain’t grace, and she falls on her fuckin’ face.

If she were a typical shoujo manga heroine, her fall would’ve been ladylike, cutesy, and with an adorable squeal to emphasize her cute clumsiness.

Cute shoujo manga heroine Tomoko is not.

Now this is one of those moments in Watamote where I was genuinely surprised. For what little we know about Minami, she seems like a cheerful, genki type who can be just a little insensitive. Too be honest, my first thought when I saw this was that Minami was laughing about something else with the no-eyes girl, and wasn’t actually laughing at Tomoko. But at the same time, I also think that her actually laughing at Tomoko is entirely plausible. It’s hard to tell, but perhaps that ambiguity is what Nico Tanigawa was going for 

Damn, kitty-cat Tomoko grew some claws. I love how more open she’s been about expressing her ruder and cruder side. 

C’mon, how could I not include this shot?

So it looks like we finally got a taste of Yuri’s sense of humor. And it’s the type of humor, that I, and I’m sure a lot of other people enjoy. The “addressing-the-elephant-in-the-room” kind of humor. The snaggletooth quality we see with Minami is usually something in manga that is only a character aesthetic. Something the readers can see, but is virtually invisible to the other characters. The fact that Tomoko so openly mocks her for something no else seems to have said is probably why Yuri finds it so funny. 

It also probably helps that Yuri is not on the best of terms with Minami, so she can probably get on board with teasing her that much easier. 

Now this is something I find really interesting. To think that Mako, who’s been Yuri’s friend for years, has never made her laugh out loud, yet Tomoko hasn’t even known her for a year, and she still got her to laugh. What does this say about Yuri’s friendship with Mako and Tomoko? For me, I think Yuri’s friendship with Mako is based on stability. They like each other enough and it’s easy to commit to without much conflict (sans Minami). With Tomoko, while they don’t fully understand each other, they seem to be helping each other break out of their shells, with Tomoko gaining confidence and Yuri being more expressive.

You know how some people were joking on how Tomoko is like a virus bringing down all the other girls to her level? I think with Yuri, Tomoko is actually bringing her up. I honestly predict that Tomoko and Yuri’s relationship will be the strongest by the end of the series.

I know I just poked fun at when manga introduce characters by giving them a panel with text over them, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing. In some instances, it can be used as a bit of comedy. For Kiyota, who is so inconsequential, having his name there to remind the audience who he is is a nice touch. 

It’s times like this when I realize just how truly passive aggressive Nemoto is towards Tomoko. I can see her thought process here: if she asked about Tomoko, that would imply that she cares about her and that they’re friends, which is something Nemoto doesn’t want her real friends to consider. Nemoto doesn’t mind Tomoko, but she doesn’t want to associate with her any more than she has too. Take of that what you will.

You can literally see her expression fall ten stories to the ground. 

Now an impression of Ogino is something I would like to see. I don’t recall Ogino having any sort of obvious mannerism, though. Maybe it’s smiling ignorantly in a way that automatically pisses people off. 

Not gonna lie, this right here hit me HARD. You see that crosshatching in the background? Nico Tanigawa usually does that for scenes that are high in tension, and this is no exception. This is the first time we’ve seen the side characters opening mock Tomoko on some level. Sure, it’s not really malicious or hurtful, but it’s still teasing Tomoko for being who she is. The scariest part is, this type of teasing falls into the uncanny valley where it isn’t outright bullying, but very close to it. I’m so glad severe bullying isn’t a part of this manga, or I might not be able to handle it. 

One thing I’m sure others have noticed is that Nemoto’s impression isn’t actually Tomoko, but the side of Tomoko they’re used to seeing: the shy, nervous girl who has trouble communicating. It’s the Tomoko from first year, not the new Tomoko who is much more emotionally confident than before. 

If I had been drinking something when I first read this, I would’ve most definitely done a spit-take.

With the way Ucchi is describing Tomoko, I realize this is exactly the performance that Izumi Kitta gave Tomoko in the anime (her real voice, not the voice in her head). But the level of detail is so good, that it’s actually kind of scary just how obsessed Ucchi has been. Relatively speaking, Ucchi actually hasn’t had many run-ins with Tomoko, and yet she is able to describe her so correctly and confidently. 

And she actually called Tomoko charming.

It’s this line that got to me, because it’s the very first time Ucchi has admitted to liking Tomoko to any sort of degree. There’s no embarrassment, no denial, no hesitation.

If Nico Tanigawa don’t want us to ship them, then they’re sure making it hard not to.

I want to point out the way that Nemoto brought up her impression of Tomoko. She does it in a way that tries to minimize any meanness to it. By saying that her friends were laughing at it, she prevents any accusation of bullying, since it was “all in good fun”. By slouching over her desk like that, Nemoto makes the conversational atmosphere all casual, and by having Makeup-chan hear it, she has someone to potentially back her up should things turn sour. 

Damn, she even did the eye thing. Nemo is merciless. 

Tomoko.exe stopped working.

I’m sure a thousand thoughts are flooding Tomoko’s mind right now. And from the looks of things, I’m sure Tomoko came to the conclusion that yes, that was Nemoto who she fist-bumped that day. I’m glad that Makeup-chan managed to ease the tension before things got too ugly. And of course Nemoto would laugh it off, like it’s no big deal.

People like to say that Nemoto is shaping up to be the villain in this manga. While I wouldn’t go that far, I do think she has the potential to go there should the manga ever decide to go that route. 

Whew! This was a long one! There was so much to unpack this time as opposed to the four pages from the last chapter. That’s no criticism, however, as I would gladly review fifty pages a chapter if they’re all as good as this one. The character dynamics, both new and old, were spot-on and offers many layers to dissect. At this point, there is no character who I don’t like, and that’s the highest compliment I can give. Because even the most disliked characters are as such because you like them that way. The manga has perfected naturalistic awkwardness to a T. I feel like every chapter, Nico Tanigawa sets itself up to a higher standard, that I wonder just how they’ll top the previous chapter.

So, next time Yoshida?

[mspowerverse]

Power Rangers Shooting Star Squadron (current draft)

(Pic by @riceyhot)

NASADA designed suits to harness the power of the stars. Star Orbs- Small devices that harness and contain the power of the Constellations, based on the Zodion Switches Suits originally to be used for exploration. Retooled when threat of Lord Xoruk arises NASADA holds a series of trials under the excuse of selecting a crew for a special mission when they’re really selecting nine Rangers. Threat is Lord Xoruk. Originates from another dimension and has been spying on the main universe. Finally his scientists develop a way to open portals to the universe and they attack. Attacks many planets (without heroes) across the Universe. The base is a space station called the Zodiac Base from which they deploy via Warp Gates to fight the threat. The base is staffed by a crew and run by twin AI called Apollo and Artemis. Zodiac Base has training rooms, sleeping quarters, and medical bays. Commander Robert Neilson is in charge of the team. Later becomes Purple Star Ranger- Draco- Dragon Star Zord Each Suit also gives a special power during combat. Shooting Star Special- Finishing Move Eventually as the battles get harder the original nine are given a super mode called “Super Star Mode” which grants new weapons and enhanced armor (designs by medixnight)

Red Star Ranger- Leonard Conrad- 19- Heterosexual/Single- Leo- Kindhearted young man who always tries to do the right thing. During the training he identifies the skills and weaknesses of the others and coordinates them with amazing results. It was this skill that lead to him being named leader. In combat gains omnipresence (spider-sense)- Leo Sword- Lion Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 01- Leo Meteor (Slash along with meteors)- Super Star Power- Burning Leo Orion Battlizer- Granted by the legendary Orion himself to the team. However in order to summon the power the other rangers must bestow their power to it. When used Leonard gains a new form and the ability to call on the weapons and skills of the other Rangers. Furthermore he can use the Shooting Star Specials of the others as well. The Orion battilizer grants portal abilities too. Finisher- Giga Galaxy Glory! Face Claim: Harry Styles

Orange Star Ranger- Scorpiro- 23- Asexual/Single- Scorpius- From Lemy, the homeworld of Scorpina. A highly trained warrior in many different styles of combat. He appears aloof and rude but that’s because he is unsure how to socialize well though Kent helps him learn. Scorpiro is an excellent undercover operative and takes on many undercover missions to gain as much intel as he can. He views Val as a little sister in both the good ways and the bad ways. In combat can charge attacks with a venom like energy. - Scorpius Spear- Scorpion Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 02- Scorpius Toxin (Charged slash)- Super Star Power- Stinging Scorpius Face Claim: Sterling Beaumon

Blue Star Ranger- Garry Talbot- 20- Heterosexual/Single- Lupus- From Briarwood, father was werewolf mother was human, they got together a few years before the people united. With enough practice werewolves can control their transformations at will and even retain control during a full moon (otherwise instincts take hold) As time goes on he prefers to remain in his wolf man form. When the Rangers first met Leonard was the first to accept him despite his wolf form earning Garry’s loyalty and trust. In combat lets his wolf instincts take over and can charge his attacks with primal power- Lupus Claw- Wolf Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 03- Lupus Fury (Charged slash)- Super Star Power- Howling Lupus Face Claim: Paul C. Grenier

Gold Star Ranger- Steve Williams- 30-  Heterosexual/Widowed- Libra- Leading expert on Cybiology (study of cybernetic life). An eccentric inventor with many patents to his name. After an accident left him with prosthetic arms and legs he studied and upgraded them multiple times until they were state of the art. The same accident left him widowed, in her memory he refused to give up on life. In combat can take control of machines.- Libra Crossbow- Libra Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 04- Libra Barrage (Shoots an array of arrows)- Super Star Power- Balanced Libra Face Claim: James McAvoy

Black Star Ranger- Kent Hogan- 21- Heterosexual/Single- Taurus- Growing up on a farm Kent spent most of his time tinkering with the vehicles and became an expert mechanic as a result. Furthermore he is an expert in advanced mathematics. He despises when people view him as nothing but a simple farm boy. He even has some of his work published in math journals. He maintains the teams ground vehicles. In combat gains enhanced strength- Taurus Ax- Bull Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 05- Taurus Quake (Enhanced ax throw)- Super Star Power- Charging Taurus Face Claim: Callum Turner

Silver Star Ranger- Vasu (Vasuki)- 22- Bisexual/Single- Ophiuchus (Snake holder)- They’re from Nagis (world where people evolved from snakes, all Nagians are gender fluid but most of the time Vasu identifies as female). Due to many cultures having a negative view of reptiles she is withdrawn at first but in time loosens up around the other Rangers. At one point a Xoruk sorceress has an evil spirit possess her turning her into a dark version of herself before her teammates can rescue her. In combat she can paralyze foes - Ophiuchus Sickle- Ophiuchus Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 06- Ophiuchus Fang (Powered up slash)- Super Star Power- Striking Ophiuchus Face Claim: Angel Haze

Green Star Ranger- Hannah Jameson- 18- Heterosexual/Single- Chamaeleon (Chameleon)- Hyperactive young woman and expert in martial arts. She’s trained for years in many different styles and arts including studying at the Ninja Academies as well as with the Order of the Claw. She has placed within the top five at competitions for years. In combat can conceal her body- Chamaeleon Sabre- Chamaeleon Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 07- Chamaeleon Lash (Charged whip attack)- Super Star Power- Stealthy Chamaeleon

Face Claim: Jessie Paege

Pink Star Ranger- Quile- 20- Lesbian/Single- Aquila- From Jetto, she is an expert pilot. She holds many speed records and can pilot many different kinds of vehicles. Like many Jettians she often wears an artificial wing suit for flight. In combat can move at high speeds- Aquila Blaster- Eagle Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 08- Aquila Cyclone (Wind charged blast)- Super Star Power- Soaring Aquila Face Claim: Mica Burton

Yellow Star Ranger- Spencer Martin- 21- Homosexual/Engaged- Dorado (swordfish)-Fencing champion. He has been practicing in fencing for most of his life and has the medals to prove it. In combat he can spot enemy weak points.- Dorado Slasher- Swordfish Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 09- Dorado Lunge (Series of slashes)- Super Star Power- Surging Dorado Face Claim: Forrest Goodluck

Purple Star Ranger- Commander Robert Neilson- 45- Heterosexual/Divorced- Draco- Experienced astronaut and leader. Due to an injury requires a cane but when morphed the pain is relieved. His devotion to his job cost him his marriage but he remains on good terms with his ex-wife. However the other Rangers don’t know that he has a secret, years ago on a mission to the moon he released an ancient evil from its prison. He was the one who unleashed Rita Repulsa! - Draco Staff- Dragon Star Zord- Shooting Star Special 10- Draco Burst (Fires a burst of energy) Face Claim: Stanley Tucci

Aqua Star Ranger- Valerie “Val” Ride- 13- Heterosexual/Single- Ursa- Born on Miranoi (father from Miranoi mother from Terra Venture). Lives in Terra City when the Rangers arrive to fight off Xoruk’s forces. During a battle finds the prototype Aqua Star Orb and a spare Morpher and becomes the Aqua Star Ranger. Due to her age she feels like the other Rangers look down on her and tries to prove herself.- Ursa Ribbons- Bear Star Zord Face Claim: Millie Brown

Ruby Star Ranger- Emb’rosn/Ember (translates to “Rise from the embers” in her native language)- 5,025 (Chronologically) 25 (Biologically)-Heterosexual/Single- Phoenix- Born five thousand years ago on a distant world called Ograa she was the protector of her people. Her skills with the sword and shield were unrivaled. One day the elders decided to have their mages place her in a magic stasis to be awoken if they ever needed her power. However her people were wiped out by a catastrophic event before they could wake her. In the present all that remains is a legend about the crypt of a warrior that contains a powerful weapon. Hearing the legend the Rangers decide to see if they could use the weapon to fight against Xoruk however they accidentally wake Emb’rosn and she attacks them thinking they are her enemies until the situation is explained. Afterwards they are attacked by Xoruk’s monsters and during the battle she falters and calls on the spirit of the Phoenix. The Phoenix appears and tells her she must once more rise from the ashes and empowers her weapon and gives her the Phoenix Star Orb. With it she morphs and helps defeat the monsters. With nothing left on her homeworld she joins the team to fight against evil once more. Knows some magic (minor healing and offensive spells) Doesn’t use Star Orbs as often as the others preferring to use her own skill and magic but will use them if the situation requires it. -Phoenix Sword and Shield- Phoenix Rocket Star Zord Face Claim: Gal Gadot Star Zords: All zords except for Lion, Dragon, and Phoenix can form an arm or leg) Shooting Star Megazord (Red Lion used as torso/head) Starlight Megazord (Purple Dragon used as torso/head) Shooting Starlight Megazord (All minus Phoenix and Orion combine) Star Ship Megazord (Phoenix) Star Shower Megazord (Lion and Phoenix form body and the cockpits all join) Orion Star Zord- A star ship that can be used as a secondary base for the team, forms the Orion Star Megazord, armed with a club and a flaming crown. Lion Cub Star Zord- A sentient lion mecha captured by Xoruk’s forces in hopes of turning it into a weapon for their own use. Rescued by the Star Rangers and in the process bonds with Leonard. Can unite with the Shooting Star Megazord to upgrade it into the Super Star Megazord. Role Call Leo the Lion! Shooting Star Red Ranger!/Orion the Hunter! Shooting Star White Ranger! Scorpius the Scorpion! Shooting Star Orange Ranger! Lupus the Wolf! Shooting Star Blue Ranger! Libra the Scales! Shooting Star Gold Ranger! Taurus the Bull! Shooting Star Black Ranger! Ophiuchus the Snake Handler! Shooting Star Silver Ranger! Chamaeleon the Chameleon! Shooting Star Green Ranger! Aquila the Eagle! Shooting Star Pink Ranger! Dorado the Swordfish! Shooting Star Yellow Ranger! Draco the Dragon! Shooting Star Purple Ranger! Ursa the Bear! Shooting Star Aqua Ranger! Phoenix the Firebird! Shooting Star Ruby Ranger! All- Power Rangers! Purple, Yellow, Pink, Green- Shooting! Aqua, Silver, Black, Gold- Star! Blue, Orange,Red, Ruby- Squadron! Morphers- Star Morphers- wrist worn morphers/blasters Morphing Call - Star Power! Morphing: Ranger colored star field covers the ranger forming the base of the suit. Meanwhile their constellations appear behind them. The stars shoot ranger colored energy that forms the rest suits Extra Star Orbs: Grant extra powers, there are many but the following are the ones used most Gemini- Clones user Cancer- Creates a pincer claw Scutum- Creates a shield Telescopium- Creates a sniper scope Fornax- Shoots flame, when used in a weapon charges attacks with fire, mostly used by Leonard Aquarius- Shoots water, when used in a weapon charges attacks with water, mostly used by Spencer Antila- Shoots air, when used in a weapon charges attacks with air, mostly used by Quile Mensa- Shoots rocks, when used in a weapon charges attacks with earth, mostly used by Kent Serpens- Summons energy snakes, mostly used by Vasu Hydra- Regenerates injuries and heals user, mostly used by Robert Lacerta- Allows the user to stick to walls, when used in a weapon makes weapon stick to foes. Mostly used by Hannah Ursa Major- Allows the user to grow 30 feet high, mostly used by Val Sagittarius- Shoots a volley of arrows, mostly used by Steve Monoceros- Creates a drill lance, mostly used by Scorpiro Canis Major- Creates a pack of energy dogs that follow the command of the user, mostly used by Garry Canis Minor- When used in a weapon creates tracking attacks, mostly used by Garry Eclipse Star Orb: Sun/Moon based power up for Red that boosts the attacks of other Rangers. Solar Mode charges attacks with the power of the sun Lunar Mode charges attacks with the power of the moon PR Beast Squadron Beast rangers travel with Z:00 to world of origin where it’s revealed ALL worlds with life were assigned Cubes to scan animals, the Cubes input the data to a central data base however the remains of the Guild join Xoruk’s armies and attack the planet leading the SSS to join the fight (Bios by @dream-chef-flavors and @rosegrl18) Power Rangers Beast Might <——– Powerverse ——->

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

What are you talking about? Emily Prentiss is the straightest person I’ve ever—

No, sorry, can’t do it. She gay.

As a thought experiment… SHE’S FUCKING GAY.

The fact that CM are still trying to pretend Emily Prentiss is straight is crazy to me. LOOK at her. Her hands. Her fucking man spreading. Listen, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…

Then, lesbihonest—it’s probably a fucking duck.

Straight people don’t dress like that. Or talk like that. Or strut like that, miss wonky belt-buckle, miss chewed off nails, miss watch-inside-of-wrist, miss simp for Jennifer ‘it gives me you’ Jareau.