#that last post had me in a mood
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I sneak into your bedroom through your bathroom window - the latch never properly closes - and take one of your favourite pair of panties from your hamper. They need to be washed since you soiled them that night touching yourself to your perverted fantasies. You don't notice they're missing, not for a while, and if you do, you think you left them at your boyfriend's place, or the washing machine ate them, or they're in your closet somewhere. Little do you know that they're kept nicely on my bedside table. They still smell like you: they're still soiled. Only now, there's some new stains on them. But that'll be my little secret.
#that last post had me in a mood#🔪#ftm top#trans ftm#ftm nsft#ftm ns/fw#nsft t4t#t4t nsft#ftm t4t#t4t ns/fw#t4t#stalker bf#or really just a stalker#but yknow#woof am i right
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🖤
#sims#sims 4#ts4#the sims 4#ts4 render#render#tw blood#ive made a few sims since last i posted ive just not had the energy to even go on simblr much at all x_x so heres a somewhat lazy post#im doing good lately tho! just not been in the mood to open srwe or stay in game for long but ive recently changed my lifestyle up a LOT#and its been a really good change for me <3#anyway heres my baby she has a lot of cute fits i just havent taken pics of them rip
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I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.
What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.
For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.
While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.
I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.
Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.
Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.
And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e110#cr spoilers#bells hells#ashton greymoore#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#yes this is my ass coming to the defense of Ashton again#not saying Matt hates Ashton but they don't half give them a short straw when they're seeking answers#Ashton and I are very different (*) but there are similarities I feel also very strongly about that I'm compelled to put my foot down on#(*I kinda expect they'd steal my wallet but then return it after seeing my donor card and tell me how to not make it so easy to steal)#this is not angrily targeting everyone - it's a culmination of things I've bit my tongue on that I disagree with#there will be people who don't like Ashton for valid and fair reasons a valid and fair amount - this is not against you#but the hate guys - the hate! It ruins my day seeing it let alone thinking about it#and 110 still had a lot of fun and interesting things going on in it that I'd rather focus on#I was not in a great mood already for having missed ANOTHER set of auroras last night#I've stared at this for half an hour in drafts between posting and deleting - if things get more bitter I'll definitely be deleting it#this is not put out to debate this is just pure shouting to the ether#and what I shout to the ether is that 'Ashton Greymoore deserves to feel loved'#it's out but it's not gone from my system it just won't boil over again for a bit - but I still don't like having these vents#I'd much rather rant about fun and good things that make me happy and are a comfort to me
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Sometimes I think about how Nightow said something like (and I'm paraphrasing here) Vash only stays "Vash the Stampede" at the end of Trimax and continues to play that role simply because he doesn't know what to do
#Trigun#Trimax#Trimax Spoilers#TrigunBookclub#This man has no fucking idea how to live or how to want to live#Which#Such a fucking big mood my dude#I probably won't be able to finish reading bookclub#But that last chapter makes me SO sad man#I was hoping this reread would reframe it#So many folks that I've shared theories and thoughts with have the opposite view I had at the end of my first reading#But alas#I probably won't have the time#So it shall stay sad in my head#Btw I do NOT have this article source on hand#But I think it's the same one I mentioned on the post I reblogged a bit ago#Hence me chewing on it#Pls correct me if I'm not remembering the gist right
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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Hi, are there any mtt interpretations/headcanons you don't like? -evil doppelganger
i am FAR too deep into the murder time rabbit hole to be asked this question dearest evil doppelganger because i like majority of trio interpretations and headcanons,,,,,, likeeeee people have SO MANY amazing ideas and even if i don't fully ADORE their interpretation of the trio i can still appreciate it and find things that i like about it!!! openmindedness and allat even if it's not my own personal cup of tea :3 that's what you need when youre in fandom i suppose,,,,, keeping your mind open to the contrary and cringe ‼️
but that doesn't mean i LOVE every single trio interpretation. first thing that comes to head are like overly bara FAR TOO masculine MUSCLE hot sexy trio. and then also the inverse of like babyfied TOO feminine weak and cutesy murder time trio. maybe it's just because i think that majority (with the exception of ones where gender plays a big role in their character) of sans aus would just be like,,,, gender neutral non binary. like even sans undertale doesn't read as male to me he's just a fellow!!! he's just a guy!!!! and that's cool and since theyre continuations (OMG CONTINUATION GROUP!!! 継続組‼️‼️‼️) of sans undertale that might get carried on. ITS NOT EVEN THAT ITS A DETERRENT TO THE TRIO because if theyre well depicted then i can choke down the really masc or fem designs. but usually these types of designs come at the cost of.... (gulp) DECENT characterization (shivers in my boots)
anyways NUMBER 2 i suppose would be like. BASIC mischaracterizations of the 3. like assuming killer joined his chara just for shits and giggles when ITS LITERALLY IN THE FANON WIKI!!! you dont even have to read the something new comics to know that he had his code altered,,,,, you dont even have to delve into the intricacies of that detail to at least KNOW ABOUT IT. i would bring up the misinterpretation that horror is a cannibal here but i actually kinda like the idea i just dont like that people think its CANON canon. like i find it funny when he talks about eating humans to others and they get weirded out (not because i think that he eats humans like the hc states but because i think he'd totally say freaky shit like that to creep people out!!) and like,,,, dust and when people think that phantom paps is a GHOST and not a hallucination. i mean i blame the fangame for this by adding a section where phantom papyrus ATTACKS for some reason??? but still. just like reaaaally basic surface level knowledge that should be known with literally the first search (but i get that some people are just that lazy (REAL) and im not THAT offended when people say that. maybe if they expanded more on these ideas it would be cool......?????? even if its not CANON)
(on a side note of basic murder time trio characterization this guy created a video explaining the trio! it's not THAT bad i guess,,, idk maybe i'm just greatful that someone made a video explaining them but i dont know why when choosing the "canon" version of the trio to explain he DID bring up touken-kamui's mtt but then also brought up the,,,, VILLIAN SANS SQUAD mtt??? hello??? why not just the original rahafwabas (and probably joku too but i cant be bothered) comics about the trio since you're including the bad sanses version of the mtt's canon!!! i had a whole rant about this to my friend because why did he do this???? it's also a bit funny because he goes on about goku in the middle of the video 💀 ALSO WHY IS THERE A RANDOM PHOTO OF MAMI TOMOE IN THE VIDEO???)
ANYWAYS THIRD GRIPE!!! i guess like,,, this is more of a bad sanses thing but me when people keep dust and horror glued to each other's asses ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!???? and then killer's SUPERGLUED to nightmare's most insignificant tentacle bro (or cross?? idk i dont consider him a bad sans but a LOT of people do) it just like. why make a duo out of a group of people? it's an unrealted metaphor but it just reminds me of project sekai when people always seperate the 4 people groups up into duos! like why!!! theres 4 people in there!!! even in like a basic friend group everyone interacts with eachother AND THESE GUYS LIVE TOGETHER!!! IN BAD SANS POLY THEYRE SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACHOTHER??????
and i guess that's it,,,, i don't know tbh right now these are all the ones i can think of. theres other stuff that bothers me too but it doesnt BOTHER me its just mildly displeasing yet not enough to warrant me trashing it! anyways its not like i have anything personal against these things anyways aside from like. the weird characterization and separation??? ik people actually do simp for these guys (could NEVER) and that some people just dont care for canon!! and thats ok!!! i love ALL versions of my murder time trio no matter what..... unless someone brutally ruins them to do terrible crimes that not even i can defend but if so i do not blame my trio i blame THEM
thank you- WAIT??? EVIL DOPPELGANGER??? I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU BACK IN THE SQUABBLE OF 89? how are you.... how are you BACK? i swear if you do any of your evil doppelganger tricks again i wont hesitate to use my totally tubular special attack (running away) (THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :3! IT WAS REALLY FUN ANSWERING THIS WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!)
#tricule asks#i love getting asks i love ASKING#this is one of my new favorite things. right underneath the feeling of singing a song with my whole heart#looking back at this now i am nowhere as near of a good mood as i was when i wrote this#but i also dont wanna forget about this ask and then answer in 2 weeks#because that's rude and assholeish and this person took the time to ask me a fun question#thanks for asking me anon i'm glad a lot. really 🧡🧡🧡🧡#rrusaghhhhhggg..... dont wanna do anything anymore#feeling demotivated rn. i hate saying why because then i'll just be attention seeking and begging#whatever i've already gotten over that stupid fear i had about following people back after fucking months#if you see this go check out my last hc about horror talking to phantom paps through dust#its literally one of my favorite headcanons i've ever come up with idk anymore#just if you can just read it :3 id like that. actually dont even like sometimes i need to feel this way#i've been too happy recently i need this wave of dejection and drearyness to humble me#this is what i get i guess i dont know. <<< words of someone who wants attention#ew this is too unhappy and emotional than i usually get but whatever nobody reads tags on these posts anyways
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Crying Evangeline
A first for me! I'd never dared take a reference pose and make it my own to do Evangeline, plus do the colouring (I'm really lost without a model, especially to do the shadows and the folds in the clothes). Apart from the arm proportions and hands, which are… passable, I'm quite surprised in a good way!
At night, when she sought refuge in her bed, tears often flowed uncontrollably. The pain of being excluded, rejected, and ignored gnawed at her from within. She tried to convince herself that it would eventually pass, that the others would forget about her, but with each passing day, the weight became harder to bear. In the morning, she put on a neutral mask, trying to keep her head held high, but the emotional exhaustion always caught up with her. She felt trapped in a spiral of suffering, unable to confide in anyone, having no friends. This insidious isolation, this venom slowly dripped by those around her, was destroying her little by little.
There was no respite, not even in moments when she should have felt safe, not even in the silence of the library. Evangeline spent a great deal of time there, reading, studying, and trying to clear her mind. But the weight of the stares and judgements followed her everywhere. The memories of those smirking smiles, those glances exchanged over her head, were etched into her mind, impossible to forget. They haunted her, and she couldn’t help but recall her daily life at Beauxbâtons, a life she would have preferred to forget and never experience again. Books, however, were still the most effective way she had found to distract herself. As soon as classes ended, she would rush to the library to find solace among the shelves of books. The familiar smell of paper made her feel safe, far from the judgements and mockery.
(Very small extract from what I'm still writing. Another extract I've post)
#Literally my mood for the last two months where I often cry for no reason 🥲#My periods of minor depression have definitely become more frequent since my period of intense stress last May 😣#But at least it gives me inspiration for my OS 😂#Look on the bright side!#At the moment I'm motivated to write again#I'm slowly but surely coming to the end of my OS 🥹#I've had the idea in my head since May#I feel like it's my son I take so much time writing it 😂#And I hesitate to reuse this drawing or take an AI photo when I post the OS 🤔#hogwarts legacy#drawing#art#watercolor#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#evangeline rosier
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I got carded at the mall because Paul Blart thought I was under 18
#my art#causeimanartist#drawing of me#sir I am 25#and unemployed which ya know is also a contributing factor to the general mood of this piece#he also carded my friend and we had to wear orange concert wrist bands to verify our 18+ status lmfaoooooooo#anyway I haven't posted on here in 22 days?? oops#this was my first time picking up my iPad since that last drawing#but but but#I have been drawing! little doodles! in a sketch book that stinks of sharpie#it's awful lol#I should post some of those#maybe?#idk I have a headache
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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Guys holy shit I forgot to post this but my uncle does this online magazine thing, right? Well....HE INTERVIEWED THE FUCKING LIVE ACTION ACTOR FOR ZUKO DALLAS LIU.
That's not even all- apparently he knows of my old Zuko phase, so he LITERALLY TOLD DALLAS ABOUT ME AND MY FUCKING EXISTENCE.
MY CHILDHOOD CRUSH GETS AN ACTOR, I RETURN TO MY ATLA PHASE, AND AS I DO THAT ACTOR NOW KNOWS OF MY EXISTENCE.
...LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO BITCH-
#i told a mutual of mine this story but forgot to post it lol#theres a bit more to the story but i dont want to make this long lol#will post my uncles online magazine link in comments!#this shit had me in a good mood for 3 weeks straight#anime#live action atla#live action avatar#avatar#atla#avatar the last airbender#LETS GO#zuko#prince zuko#live action zuko#dallas liu#firelord zuko#atla zuko#avatar netflix#dallas mf liu knows of me lets go
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Oh I am generally liking the way Marc is approaching this year (referring to that ask you replied about less press in contract). The way he was talking about his previous crashes. It wasn't because he was pushing but due to technicalities. His general positive vibe. However I also realise this is Marc so it might all go to pot the moment he sniffs that championship blood in the water.
marc. is a liar sometimes.
#the press statements from gresini on saturday/austin after his crashes being like the mood is POSITIVE ! marc is HAPPY !#and then the second he actually gets a podium he says yeah that sucked. those sapped my confidence. it weighed on me.#like eight times in front of camera was SO funny.#but he does that ! while it’s happening nobody gets to know but once it’s in the mirror and can’t be used to hurt him he’ll admit it.#i’m thinking arm pump surgery last year. no one knew it was an issue until post season even though he’d been dealing with it since le mans#he LIES ! and it’s fine. but i don’t necessarily believe him when something bad happens and he’s like :) no it had no effect :) i’m fine :)#motogp#callie speaks#asks#marc marquez
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Been talking about old OCs, which made me remember I've been reworking on my (former) f/naf gang for a few years now. For now, I humbly offer Clyde 👍
#original art#my art#Clyde Castle (oc)#anyway only the 1st drawing is from january; the 2nd one is recent ☝#its been a million years and i still associate Mr Magpie with him. explodes#he changed so much im still laughing. no longer a stick he ate his meals /j. a disturbance in the cuntiness force due to his Pansexual Swag#tho im not 100% sure how i want clyde's form to look like. so if he looks different in the future thats why SDJKNFKJS#'fnaf gang what' well yeah clyde was one of the fnaf ocs i had back then LMAO but as time passed they became their own thing#(just in case you thought Colorful Company was the only time i've done this kinda thing :v)#a very unexpected yet good thing happened to me not long af and its improved my mood up to 500% (iykyk)#and its been an eon since i last posted art so might as well share the little i got
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y'know what fuck it, anyone who comes into my messages begging me to commission them (and i haven't followed them beforehand) gets blocked
and even if i've been following you beforehand and you ask me to commission you, know that no means no and pushing anyway puts you on thin ice
i'm not an infinite well of money
#serious post#rant in tags#sorry i'm just in a bad mood rn#this last week hasn't been good to my bf#and every time i check tumblr i get a bunch of messages from random people going#''HEY COMMISSION ME HEY HEY HEY''#and it's like#mate i don't have unlimited money#i put aside a bit each month for commissions as a luxury fund#i don't have enough to fund someone i've never followed before as well#i've tried being polite#but i've had enough
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crying is like computer updates. it's going to happen but if you put it off it'll force its way through at really stupid/inopportune times
#TOTALLY fine btw lmao. this is very /lh and not a vent. exam stress just caught up to me from the last 2 weeks#just had a mini breakdown bc my spotify kept pausing in the middle of a song.#the absolute dumbest reason to cry but i hate my slow internet so fucking much. i'm gonna mess with the router tomorrow#i can't make it WORSE#it's not my computer. it worked FINE with the old router before people went and changed out our router in december#i've been suffering ever since#anyways. the unfortunate mood of 'well SOMETHING'S about to send me over the edge but I'm not sure what it'll be'#at least it wasn't a person. at least i can ethically cuss out my computer#can't yeet it against a wall though. kind of want to.#ok to rb#i mean everything i post is ok to rb. that's more reassurance/confirmation for others than anything else#if anything's ever not ok to rb then i'm just not posting it lmao
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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What a cool cat
#keese draws#oc posting#furry#furry art#furry oc#oc#ocs#oc art#first art post on the new blog babeyyyy#I’m still so sleepy tired tho a combined 13 hours of driving will do that to you fjdhfjdh#also idk if it shows but I’ve been trying a new sketching style recently!#oh ya and my family is on vacation rn so expect me to be a bit tired sounding a lot lol#I’m already soooo drained and we’ve bared done anything#but! I got to eat some REALLY good shrimp so hashtag winning#I think we’re going to eat at another place before we go home and I think they have shrimp too so I’m excited#I’m hoping they have breaded shrimp since the last shrimp was rly rly good but I’m in the mood for a good crunch#also tried some clam chowder for the first time and it was ok#I think I would have liked it more if I had smth good to dip in it#we also had lobster and it was so flavorless my dude like wow#but the stake that came with it was rly good and we also got some yummy desert#first time I’ve ever not hated a cheesecake so I’d say it was good#speaking of yummy food tonight we’re having a beef roast and I’m sooo excited it’s one of my favorite meals#I’ve been smelling it for the past several hours I’m going to destroy those potatoes yummy yum#ok enough
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