#that just make you take a step back and go woah. THAT is a quality person who is really good at their job and really qualified and just.

[hecckyeah]

why do some people just have such an Effect on you

[bluebeary-jay]

How easy you are to need

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel notices that the peaceful life in Jackson has its consequences. he is not happy about it (based on this wonderful ask!)

Tags: TONS OF ANGST, but also FLUFF, established relationship, ahh intrusive thoughts (how much i hate them), Joel is probably ooc but i don't care anymore, also he's soft and insecure and vulnerable

Warnings: body dismorphia and lots of self-loathing on Joel's side, at one (two?) points borderline on smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hihihi, swearing, drinking (just mentioned), suggestive stuff bc apparently i can't help myself 😌

Word count: 8K ! (8028 specifically woah)

A/N: the next fic will definitely be shorter bc i really need to start caring less about the quality of my work, it takes way too long for my liking. buuut anyway as always 🎶i hope yall will like it🎶 this is my birthday gift for you guys 💕

Joel looked at himself in the mirror with furrowed brows.

He pulled in his stomach and tried to zip his pants. It still fit, but barely. He undid the zip, turned to the side and looked at his reflection again, just to make sure.

Yeah. This pair was definitely loose until a while ago.

He glanced at the door, but didn’t hear you coming, so he sighed and looked in the mirror again. Joel was never particularly muscular, but he could no longer see those thin lines which accentuated his torso before. There was also a bit of fat above the hem of his jeans, and his frame seemed somehow heavier…

Good thing his left ear was directed to the door, because he heard the moment the water in the shower stopped running, which meant you were coming back from the bathroom. Joel spared himself one last wary look and zipped up his pants before turning around to your shared bed where his shirt lay discarded.

He was putting his arms into the sleeves when you entered. A couple of light steps, and then Joel smiled when he felt your arms wrapping around his torso. He glanced over his shoulder at you.

“You took your sweet time in the shower,” he pointed out, and he could feel your smile when you pressed your face to his back.

“We finally have hot water, so I’m gonna use it every chance I get.”

“You left some for me?”

You huffed a laugh and went around him, moving his hands away and starting to button his shirt yourself.

“There would be, if you took a shower with me.”

“Next time, sweetheart,” he chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead softly, combing his fingers through your wet hair. He hummed. “Your hair smells nice.”

“It’s that shampoo Ellie didn’t want.” You shook your head with a smile. “I have no idea why, it’s fantastic.”

You buttoned up the last button and smoothed your palms over his chest and down, lastly resting them on his waist. Internally Joel furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if he could always feel this fold when you put your hands in that place.

“You look handsome,” you whispered, looking up at him with twinkling eyes and such a soft, love-struck expression on your face that Joel felt his throat constricting. Everything but the sight of you faded from his mind, and he joined his hands behind your back, pulling you closer into his chest and basking in this precious smile you blessed him with. “Especially with the bed hair.”

“It’s your doin’, you know,” he murmured in response, nudging your nose with his and reminiscing how you tugged and raked your nails through his hair the night before. “You gotta be careful with it, sweet girl. If you continue doin’ it, m’gonna go bald soon.”

You hummed noncommittally and leaned against his chest, standing on your tip-toes. “I’ll take it under consideration. No promises, though.”

Joel lifted his hand to the back of your neck and kissed you slowly, reveling in the soft sigh that left your lips. You rested your palm above his heart, leaning forward to the point that you would fall over if he wasn’t supporting your weight.

But Joel held you tight and close to his body, gladly steadying you as you deepened the kiss, once again tugging on his graying hair in that way he adored. He wanted to tease you about it, but his thoughts strayed to the image of his body again when you lowered your hand from his chest to his side.

“You remember that tonight is this party?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Joel gave up pondering about his physique and sighed heavily at your question, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Yeah, I remember. Regrettably.”

“I don’t want to go, either,” you whispered with guilt, as if someone would hear you both. “But Tommy really wanted us to come and… Just don’t make me go alone.”

“Hey, darlin’.” Joel took your face in his hands and looked deeply into your eyes. “I promised, didn’t I? M’not gonna leave you there on your own.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, smiling against them. “And mind you, I gotta make sure no one will try to seduce and steal you away from me.”

You giggled, and you were standing so close that Joel could feel your eyelashes tickling his skin. He held you close when you tried to take a step back, and your lips collided again.

“That is the one thing you don’t need to ever worry about,” you murmured quietly into the space between you two. “How could I even look at other people when I have you all to myself?”

Joel’s reflection in the mirror flashed across his mind again and a small wave of uncertainty rippled through him, but it quickly disappeared when you opened your eyes and looked at him with this raw love radiating from them. Your every word, every affectionate gesture only confirmed his conviction that you meant every word you said.

So why did he still feel so uncertain?

*****

Life in Jackson was perfect. Considering the state of the world right now, living here was like winning a lottery.

Joel had a lot to be thankful for, he was well aware of that. No longer had he any fears or sense of guilt about going to sleep and leaving you and Ellie defenseless if something were to happen. He didn’t have to count rations anymore, worrying that the kid would be forced to march all day hungry. There was now no need to keep a watchful eye for new clothes if someone’s worn off, ripped or got soaked from walking in the rain, posing a threat of you or Ellie catching a cold.

Back in Boston it wasn’t much different, though he and you had at least a bed to sleep in, as uncomfortable as it was. But there was never enough food for all those people Fedra kept there, and the winters were cold as hell, leaving at least one of you a bit sick every year.

None of those things were keeping him awake at night anymore. The only people he had to take care of – you and Ellie – were safe and comfortable. None of you had to starve or freeze, and you all didn’t have to continue walking across the country for days and days without end, struggling to survive.

Maybe that was the problem.

Joel wasn’t stupid. He knew that those luxuries he had an access to now were at the root of his problem. Before you all settled in Jackson, you were constantly on the move, fighting for your lives in one way or another, so of course he was… leaner and more fit back then. It was never something he paid attention to, though, never something he concerned himself with.

But now you three were living here, surrounded by more people than Joel could count, and he couldn’t help but… notice things about them.

Especially about all those men and women who looked at you in a different way.

Due to the nature of the party Tommy invited them to – mainly consisting of dancing and talking in the biggest bar in Jackson – Joel had a lot of time to ponder about his situation, all while nursing his drink and looking at you from across the room with his elbows resting on the table.

You were chatting with one of your friends near the counter, laughing and smiling so beautifully. No matter where Joel’s eyes strayed, they always came back to your person, as if you were the moon against the pitch black sky, reflecting some imperceptible light.

Some guy he knew by sight – Chuck? Bart? – walked up and tapped you on the shoulder, and from what Joel could tell, he was offering you a drink. He was standing way too close, though, and you took a step closer to your friend, shaking your head. Chuck – or Bart – persisted for another half a minute, but eventually shrugged and shuffled off, his movements tense.

Joel didn’t move. He knew from experience that you’d let him know if you needed his help.

As if sensing his gaze, you turned your head and sent him a radiant smile. He mirrored it, lifting his glass slightly like he was toasting you, which made you do the same before resuming the conversation with your friend.

His smile disappeared as soon as you stopped looking at him. Joel sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers, feeling a headache coming from the dull lights and loud chatter all around.

It were moments like this when it hit him just how old he was compared to you.

You were a sweet, young thing. Funny, sharp, drop-dead gorgeous… No wonder some people were seeking your attention. That guy was just one of the half a dozen he saw or heard about since you moved to Jackson.

Joel knew you were a loyal sort – God, he knew that, he knew you for so long now – but every time he saw you talking to someone else, his treacherous mind started to wonder if he wasn’t somehow keeping you chained to his person.

It was probably alcohol talking, but Lord, if he wasn’t reminded of how old he was compared to you every time he saw you next to your peers. You still had so much life ahead of you, and he was pushing sixty, for fuck’s sake. Before long he’ll be old and decrepit, unable to bring something useful to the table or help you in any way, and you’d still be as pretty as ever, trapped in a relationship with an old man.

For example, that guy – Chuck, or whomever – was way closer to your age, had handsome features, and Joel knew for a fact he was working at tree felling, so he had to be muscular, too.

Joel was once, too. Once.

He subtly ran his hand across his stomach under the jacket, his brows furrowed, and leaned back on the bench to get rid of those damned fat folds.

He sighed and downed the rest of the liquor in his glass, trying very hard not to think about it, not to put himself down like that and let those cruel thoughts fester in his mind, but no matter what, he couldn’t stop comparing himself to this guy, and also… how you looked next to him.

Shit. What if he was doing you more harm than good by continuing to stay with you?

“I could pickpocket you and you wouldn’t notice.”

Joel looked up, abruptly pulled out of his thoughts. You were standing over his table with your head tilted and still that beaming smile on your face.

“What are you thinking about, handsome?”

He opened his mouth, glanced in the direction of the bar, and closed it. There was no sign of any of the people you just talked with.

“Nothin’,” he replied, maybe a little too dryly, so he quickly changed the subject. “You havin’ fun?”

“Yeah, it’s nicer than I thought.” You looked around and then spotted the empty glass on the table in front of him. “Do you want me to bring you another one?”

“No, there’s no need,” he grumbled, but you had already put your drink down and sent him a wink.

“I'll be right back, baby.”

Joel hissed your name but you just looked over your shoulder with a smirk, swinging your hips provocatively to the music and ignoring him completely. He sighed heavily, slumping in his seat.

He needed to get his shit together. Fuck his insecurities, he didn’t want to take his frustration out on you when you were nothing but a ray of sunshine in his life, always so good and affectionate.

Joel’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when he searched for you in the crowd and noticed another man, this time one he didn’t know, swinging his arm over your shoulders while you waited at the bar. He tried to read your body language from here, but you didn’t seem particularly uncomfortable with the man’s actions. Joel furrowed his brows, a pit of uncertainty forming in his stomach again... but then you threw the man’s heavy limb off your shoulders and went back to Joel’s table as soon as you got the drink.

“Thanks, darlin’,” he murmured, taking a large gulp despite telling himself earlier that he was done drinking for today. “Were you okay back there?” He pointed his chin towards the bar.

You sat down next to him and smiled innocently. “Whatever do you mean?”

Joel knew you long enough to recognize when you were teasing him, and he smirked despite the doubts swirling in his mind.

“Was that guy givin’ you any trouble?” he asked lazily, deciding to play along.

“Would you beat the shit out of him if I said yes?” you asked with your eyebrows raised, and Joel shrugged, acting nonchalant.

“Probably.”

You giggled and bumped his shoulder with yours playfully.

“Then no. Peter’s a good guy. Just a little,” you seemed to be looking for the right word, “uhm, persistent.” When Joel sent you a dubious look, you rolled your eyes and made a face. “He’s politely hitting on me, but doesn’t get that I’m not interested. He works at the same place I do.”

“If he keeps makin’ you uncomfortable, that’s not very polite.” You squinted at him and Joel lifted his hands in fake surrender. “M’not sayin’ anythin’. You can take care of yourself, I know that.”

You hummed melodically and glanced at the bar, then back at Joel. Then back at the bar again where that Peter guy stood. Joel noticed you biting the inside of your cheek, so he gently nudged your knee with his.

“What’s on your mind, sweet girl?”

“Maybe you could help me make it clear that I’m taken?” you blurted out quickly, making him crack a smile and chuckle under his breath.

It was so very easy to forget about all the problems in the world when you were there, sitting right next to him and warming his soul and body with your mere presence.

“Come ‘ere,” he breathed and tugged you gently to sit on his lap. You faltered, but he gave your hand another light tug, and finally you let him guide you, putting one arm around his shoulders and making yourself comfortable.

Joel’s hand mindlessly went to rest on your thigh and he rubbed it comfortingly. That Peter guy, as he noted with satisfaction, was staring right back at you, eyeing the way your body was pressed flush against Joel’s with a twisted face.

Once the eyes of the both men met, Joel leaned in and kissed your neck, keeping eye contact the entire time. Peter turned away, taking a large swig from his glass.

Joel felt your muscles relaxing, and you giggled adorably next to his ear at his antics, hiding your neck between your shoulders when he nibbled at your skin lightly. Then your hand covered his, the one lying on your thigh, and stroked his skin lovingly.

Maybe Joel was keeping you chained somehow. Then again, he was but a selfish creature after all. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to ever truly let you go.

*****

The next few days – which then turned into weeks – Joel spent wondering. Mostly about what to do with his predicaments.

He had a couple of them.

The first problem was the nights. They became more difficult since he noticed… details about himself that weren’t there before, and which bothered him more and more with each day.

Joel used to love the nightfall, especially since you all settled in Jackson. In those evening hours no one bothered him, he could finally relax, spend some time alone with you, and later collapse on the bed to get a good-night sleep.

Well, not anymore.

The bedtime unexpectedly became the most stressful one for him. He was so fucking mad at himself, because laying down and having a chance to hold you in his arms was something he treasured for the longest time, but now his own insecurities stood in a way of it.

You loved cuddling and being close to him in your sleep, and Joel was never bothered by it – hell, he initiated those moments more often than not. But now he started noticing more and more how this layer of fat on his stomach moved and looked like when you draped your arm around him or snuggled closer to his chest, and it became all he could think about.

It bothered Joel so much that he started wearing a t-shirt to bed, even though he hated it with all his passion. When you asked about it, he lied that he’s cold, but in reality he was always sweaty by morning. It didn’t seem to make any difference to you, though, and you didn’t shy away from pressing your body close to his, and even slipping your hands under his shirt when you were spooning him. Some days Joel was waking up with you lying on his chest or having your arm slung across his belly, and every time it caused a lump in his throat.

He knew you didn’t mean anything bad by it – for God’s sake, you probably didn’t even have any idea that he had a problem with himself – but what once was a wonderful start of the day, now became a bitter reminder of all those things he was insecure about.

Recently he built a habit of waking up before you – he did it often before, but he always stayed in bed and waited for you to open your eyes, too – and carefully disentangling himself from your embrace. It wasn’t like it didn’t feel wonderful to be enveloped by you in this way, but once he stirred awake, lying still was a herculean task. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, his skin was itching and buzzing, he was sweating from nerves and a lot of horrible, self-depriving thoughts were flooding his mind.

So once he woke up, he’d go take a shower, trying to be a little bit louder than necessary in hopes that you’d already be awake when he gets back – so that he wouldn’t feel so guilty about not laying back down next to you.

The second of his problems was that you began to watch him more closely.

He didn’t know when it started happening, but in hindsight he realized it was just a matter of time – he was acting weird, after all, and you knew him too well not to notice anything.

A couple of times in the last few days only, Joel caught you staring at him in silence. Your eyes were solemn and your forehead sad, though you were quick to smile and act like nothing was amiss as soon as he turned your way.

You must have known something was wrong, but Joel didn’t ask about it. Honestly, with all that was happening in his own head, he didn’t want to know.

But at the same time it was as if nothing odd was happening. You were your usual self, a blessing in Joel’s life, and you still sought to be close to him and spend as much time together as possible. You still told him you loved him, surprised him with unexpected gestures of affection…

Just like today – you hugged him from behind while he was dressing up, started kissing his shoulders so tenderly and murmuring sweet nothings into his skin… In those moments Joel could almost forget about everything that was nagging him. It was easy to believe that you still liked the way he looked, that he was deserving of you, when you treated him with nothing but overwhelming love.

But the itch in the back of his mind never really disappeared. Even though he wanted it to.

Those thoughts filled his mind while you were sitting on his lap, telling him some story from work in a soft voice. You two were at Tommy’s, waiting for him to get back from helping his wife with something, and the day was so beautiful that you all went out onto the patio in front of the house to enjoy the unusually warm weather for this time of the year.

Joel’s hand was on your thigh, stroking it absentmindedly, while he nodded to whatever you were saying, but for the life of him, he could not focus.

Has your physique changed as well? Joel didn’t care about those things, of course, and in his eyes you were as breathtaking as ever – maybe even more, since so many of your worries disappeared and he got to see your smile more often. And you still felt perfect under his hands when he was holding you at night, still looked like a goddess every time he got to admire your naked body.

But even though he wouldn’t have cared either way if you gained some weight or looked any different, his body still bothered him.

You rested your head on his shoulder, and Joel fixed his attention to the wind-blown tree crowns in the distance.

Maybe he should start exercising.

Joel never liked the idea of waking up early and running down the streets in a sweat-soaked t-shirt, or going to the gym where everyone seems to stare and judge you, but it was never necessary.

With how much traveling, heavy-lifting and working he had to do, he never concerned himself with the way he looked. Hell, these things are the last on your mind when you’re fighting for your life in this god-forsaken world. But here, in Jackson, it was different. Life was good, and you were happy. And as stupid as it sounded for him, Joel wanted to look good for you.

Maybe he should ask Maria to assign him to extra patrols. He already volunteered for the morning ones, but perhaps…

“You’re quiet.”

Joel didn’t realize you stopped telling your story. He pressed his lips together and his hand on your thigh stilled.

“Sorry.”

“No need for that,” you reassured him quickly. Then you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head gently. “I don’t mean ‘now’, though, I mean… lately, in general.” Your eyes were flickering across his face, like you were hoping to read the answer from his features. “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

No. Hell no. It was bad enough that Joel himself was aware of his issue, he didn’t want to make it even more noticeable by pointing it out to you.

Which reminded him – he moved his torso away from you only a few millimeters.

“No, babygirl,” he answered. He brushed some hair behind your ear, smiling softly even though inside he despised himself for lying to you. “Everythin’s fine.”

You didn’t seem convinced and still were studying his face with concern. Joel resumed petting your thigh, wanting to put you at ease. He could worry about himself, but he didn’t need to concern you with his problems, too.

“I promise,” he added. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

That look in your eyes didn’t disappear, but you hummed and dropped your hands. It didn’t take a genius to know you didn’t believe him.

“If you say so,” you answered at last, and then covered his hand on your leg with your own. “But remember you can talk to me whenever you want. About anything.”

Jesus, your kindness was only confirming his concerns if he was the right person for you. Joel shook his head with a crooked smile.

“You’re gettin’ sappy.”

“It’s because I’m worried,” you shot back without skipping a beat, swatting at his chest with the back of your hand. “And you’re not making it any easier.”

“There’s nothin’ for you to worry about,” he repeated, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. But he failed.

You pressed your lips together and then made a move to get up from his lap without a word. Joel held onto you delicately, not letting you stand up.

“Wait, darlin’,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “Didn’t mean to say it that way. I just… feel tired. Sorry.”

Your eyes softened when you took in the regret and weariness on his face. Joel felt your fingertips on his jaw, but before you could question him further, Tommy returned from the inside of the house with a grin.

“Age is a heavy burden, eh, ol’ dog?” he teased, apparently having heard the last bit of their conversation. The younger Miller placed three bottles of beer on the table, and winked at you. “That’s just how it is for us now. Enjoy your youth while you still can, punk.”

Joel felt a sharp jab in his ribs, not unlike being stabbed. He couldn’t find it in himself to look at his brother, less alone laugh at his teasing.

Of course Tommy didn’t mean anything bad by it, but his words were just a bitter reminder of the ever-present pit of Joel’s stomach.

The weight of you on his lap suddenly felt a lot lighter, and he himself felt so, so very heavy and tired.

Old.

Joel could feel your eyes boring into his face, but a second later you turned to Tommy, taking the burden of filling the uncomfortable silence.

“It’s already started for me. Sometimes I feel like my bones want to kill me prematurely.”

“M’sure Joel won’t let that happen. He’d fight your skeleton if you said it’s botherin’ you.”

You snorted and shook your head, but your smile faltered when you turned to Joel again. He almost broke down right then and there from the guilt and tightness in his chest.

And the dark feeling inside him just grew when your eyes stayed sad and concerned for the rest of the day.

*****

It had to end.

Joel could no longer pretend everything was alright like he wasn’t dying on the inside every time you did as much as hold his hand. He felt horrible about lying, avoiding spending time together and denying you affection he knew you so loved receiving.

If he was being honest with himself, he wanted this affection, too. Undisturbed with self-doubts and guilt.

He fucking craved it.

Those last few weeks, his evenings were mostly spent away from you and the warmth of your shared home. The nights, on the other hand, when he would sneak in and quietly lay down next to you (but just a little further away), became full of intrusive thoughts and wallowing in self-loathing.

No matter what excuse he came up with, you were persistent in holding and being close to him during the night, and Joel discovered that the only way to prevent you from doing it was to come to bed after you’ve already fallen asleep.

But it was a damn torture.

The worst part was when he was coming home to the sight of you lying amongst the tangled sheets and blankets in his bed. No matter if you were drooling or a pillow has imprinted itself on your cheek, every time this sight made Joel weak in the knees. You looked like a gorgeous, priceless painting, and it pained him to disrupt your rest with his arrival.

He tried to volunteer for evening patrols, because then he’d have a real reason to come home late, but not only Maria didn’t want to pair him with anyone during those hours – she also suspended him from all patrols whatsoever. Joel was understandably furious, but the damn woman threatened to tell Tommy about it if he kept being ‘a stubborn pain in her ass’. She sent him back home, murmuring something about spending more time with you, which he tried to pretend he hadn’t heard.

Joel sighed, sitting up on the edge of the bed and hiding his face in his hand.

If Maria of all people could see that there were some problems in your and Joel’s relationship, then you had to notice, too.

Christ, he was the worst.

Joel didn’t want to push you away, of course not. He wanted to stay with you more than anything, but that desire did nothing to diminish the guilt suffocating him. For some time, he felt like the luckiest man alive, having the privilege to call you his and every day come home to you. But now with all those little things he started to notice, he felt like a fraud.

It wasn’t even about him not deserving you anymore – it was that you didn’t deserve this fucking treatment he was giving you these past few weeks.

Fuck, he had to tell you the truth. About the patrols, sneaking out, distancing himself, all of it. He couldn’t bear lying to you a day longer.

Joel stood up and pulled his sweaty t-shirt over his head. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and patted himself under his armpits and on the back, then reached for a clean one.

He’ll figure it out. He just needed some time to come up with a way to–

“Morning, handsome.”

Joel flinched and turned around quickly, not having realized you were awake, but whatever excuse he had in mind, it fell dead on his lips.

You stretched with a groan, reaching one arm high above your head and rubbing your eyes with the other hand. A sleepy smile danced on your lips when you looked back at him with sparkles in your slightly puffy eyes, and Joel didn’t have any other word to describe you than ‘ethereal’.

“What are you doing?” you asked groggily, relaxing against the pillow and looking him up and down.

“Uhmm…” he hesitated, clutching the t-shirt that was in need of washing close to his chest. His gaze was drawn to the window. “Goin’ out, actually. I’ve got some work…”

“No, you don’t,” you interrupted him and swung off the covers from his side of the bed. “Get back here.”

Joel looked at you with surprise.

“What?”

“You heard me, Miller. Get your ass back on the bed.”

He crumpled the shirt in his hands, hesitating, but his eyes softened as soon as he looked back at you and your raised eyebrows – like you were challenging him to just try and refuse you.

But how could he, when you looked so pretty lying in his bed and demanding to have him close to you? How could he ever deny you anything?

With a defeated sigh, Joel started putting the t-shirt back on, but the sound of you humming in protest stopped him. Your face was grumpy when he glanced up.

“Nah. No shirt.” You extended your hand in his direction, making a grabbing motion. “Come here.”

Joel didn’t move. “Why?”

You rolled your eyes and dramatically flopped down onto the pillows, looking up at him with an adorable pout.

“Because it’s been a long time since I got a chance to admire my handsome, sexy man,” you answered with sincerity, and then grinned. “Now come here. If you ditch your shirt, I’ll consider ditching mine.”

He still didn’t move. You were patient, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to do anything, you sent him a small, sweet smile. “If you get cold again, I promise to do something about it, love.”

Joel physically felt his heart softening at your words and at the sight of you.

With a silent sigh – and only a split second of hesitation – he took off the t-shirt and quickly laid down on his back next to you. He felt a bile rise in his throat, though he had no idea why, and it became almost choking when you shifted closer to him, putting one hand on his chest.

“You’ve deprived me of this beautiful view for too long,” you whispered, kissing the place below his collarbone, and then going up to the base of his neck. “I missed seeing you like this.”

“There’s nothin’ to miss,” Joel muttered, not moving a single muscle. He had his hands entwined on his stomach and to look in your direction was the biggest effort anyone could demand from him now. “We sleep next to each other every night, sweetheart.”

“You know what I mean,” you breathed into his neck, leaving love bites wherever your lips strayed. “You’re going out so early these days. And you work late.”

“Patrols,” Joel grunted with gritted teeth, his muscles tense and breathing ragged as your warm palm caressed his waist. “Sorry.”

“You work too hard, love.” You sat up and swung one of your legs over his lap. Joel actually shivered when you took his hands in your own and placed them on your hips. “Let me help you relax.”

Oh, fuck.

Jesus fucking Christ, Joel was sure he was going to drop dead at any second now.

“Darlin’…” he began, but you made a noise in your throat and leaned in to kiss him deeply, pressing your body to his. Joel loved when you initiated those moments between you two, and you looked so fucking hot sitting on top of him – but for the life of him, he could not relax.

“It hits me every once in a while how lucky I am to have you,” you whispered in such a sweet, adoring voice, like you didn’t hear him. You pressed your lips against his stubble again, igniting every inch of his skin with your touch. “Let me enjoy you. I love you so much, you know that?”

“I…”

I love you, too.

Lord, he loved you so much. Why was it so hard to return your affections, then? Why did he feel like the biggest crook by letting you love him?

Joel let out a shuddering sigh he didn’t know he was holding when you pressed your lips to the edge of his jaw, before capturing his mouth in a kiss. It was sweet, but heated at the same time and, without even thinking about it, he found himself wrapping his strong arms around you, bringing you closer to his chest. You smiled against his lips and murmured something he didn’t quite catch.

A groan escaped him when you bit his lower lip lightly, your soft palm going down, from his chest, to his stomach, down…

He couldn’t do it.

Joel abruptly rose to the sitting position and grabbed your wrist, his eyes sad and painful.

“I’m sorry, baby” he said with furrowed brows, gently setting you aside and off his lap, before standing up quickly. “I’m so sorry, babygirl, I love you, I promise, but I can’t… I don’t feel good today. I’m sorry.”

“Joel…” you started, but he shook his head, putting his t-shirt back on and turning away from you not to let you see the absolute wrecked expression on his face and wetness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he kept saying, feeling like he’s about to throw up from the nerves and the burning shame. He cursed himself internally, wanting to turn around, to take your face in his hands and kiss you deeply, but he… he... “I’m so…”

All strength left him in a blink of an eye and suddenly he slumped on the bed, hiding his face in his hands. Joel desperately tried to get a grip on himself, but his chest felt so tight, and all the worry, all the guilt and fear, and self-loathing came crashing down on him all at once.

“M’sorry, darlin’,” he whispered hoarsely, his lips trembling and that damn muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt the mattress dipping and your tentative touch on his face.

“No, no, baby, it’s alright,” you started saying quietly, trying to take his cheeks in your hands, but he didn’t let you. “Oh, Joel… Come here.”

You gently pulled him into your arms, guiding his head to rest in the crook of your neck. Joel hid his face in your skin, realizing with dread that his own shoulders were shaking.

For God’s sake, he needed to stop, he needed to put himself together and not show any weakness–

But it was you. It was your warm embrace and your loving hands brushing his hair, and your quiet whispers while you held him. It was your kindness and understanding, and stubbornness coming from love. You weren’t someone he had to hide from.

So he let you in. He let you hold him.

“Joel, please. Talk to me,” you spoke up after some time, and though your tone was soft, it somehow sounded too loud in the silence of the room. “I need to know what’s going on with you, you’re worrying me.”

“Nothin’ is goin’ on,” he answered out of habit, not even moving a muscle. “I just… fuck, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing and talk to me.” Joel pursed his lips, while you massaged his back gently. “Whatever it is, we’re gonna get through it together, okay? It’s gonna be okay, love, I promise.”

He planned on telling you. He wanted to tell you and get it off his chest, but… he wasn’t ready. Not now. Not when he broke down in front of you, for fuck’s sake.

But you deserved to know. If not to help him, then at least to make you aware of what you’ve gotten yourself into. It wasn’t fair to keep you in the dark and at arm’s length because of his absurd fears.

He wetted his lips and inhaled softly, but no words came out.

You gently lifted his head and Joel immediately squeezed his eyes shut, knowing there was no way he’d be able to say anything if he looked at you.

“You can tell me, baby,” you whispered sadly, touching the side of his face. “Anything. I promise everything will be alright.”

Joel was silent for a couple of moments, before he swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm down his pounding heart.

“I don’t have any extra work,” he started very quietly, so his voice wouldn’t break. “I was lyin’ to you, and I… I’m so sorry about that. I don’t get sent on any patrols now, actually…”

He shook his head and sighed heavily, faltering. He knew that wasn’t the problem, and although lying to you was one of the things he was guilty of, it wasn’t what started all of it. And you must’ve known it, too, because you kept looking at him, not saying anything.

“The thin’ is, I… God dammit,” he murmured, turning his head away from you and hiding his face in his hands, still keeping his eyes closed. “I can’t… I don’t– I have a problem with myself,” he finally blurted out, not even caring now if you understood his muffled words. “I keep…”

Fuck, man, just say it.

“I’m… I’m not as fit as I used to be,” he murmured, not moving an inch in fear that you’ll spot the wetness on his eyelashes. “I don’t want to do you harm, darlin’, keepin’ you from… Jesus, I don’t know. From livin’ your life, happily and to the fullest.”

“Joel…” You whispered with pain in your voice. “Is this what it is about?”

Joel shook his head, letting out a shuddering breath, still as quietly as he could.

“I’m old,” he said with tiredness he didn’t know he had in himself. “And you… You’re so pretty and young, I…” He lowered his forehead onto his hand, rubbing his temple. “I would like nothin’ more than to spend the rest of my life with you, darlin’. But I’m afraid I’m not… not good for you. You could do so much better–”

“Hey. Hey, none of that.” You forced his hands away from his face by cradling it in your own palms. “There’s no one else I’d rather share my days with.”

Joel just shut his eyes tighter, trying to contain the tears that started to gather in them.

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. “But in a couple of years I’ll be… God, I’ll be fuckin’ sixty, and you–”

“Do you really think I care about that?” you asked softly, brushing your thumbs under his eyes, but he shook his head, like you didn’t understand. “Joel, I love you more than anything in this world. And I know you love me.” He heard the faintest smile in your voice, and it made him feel so, so terrible with himself – that you were trying to make him feel better when you shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have been another one of your worries… “So where’s the problem? I want to be with you. Only you.”

Joel pressed his lips together and before he could stop himself, he draped his arms over his lap, like he was trying to hide the evidence of his insecurities from you, even though his torso was already covered by the t-shirt.

“You’re young and beautiful,” he repeated, still unable to find strength in himself to look you in the eye. “And I’m anythin’ but. I just don’t wanna…”

Joel didn’t know what else to say.

He didn’t want you to leave. He didn’t want to spend another night apart from you. He didn’t want to push you away.

“Just don’t want you to be unhappy,” he finally murmured.

You let out something between a short chuckle and a stifled sob, and your fingers found Joel’s, still wrapped around his stomach.

“Do I look unhappy to you?” you asked, almost in disbelief. Joel finally willed himself to glance at you, if only to see for himself – which turned out to be a mistake. Your eyes were sad and teary, but not full of hurt or distaste like he feared, and you still had this faint smile on your face. He quickly turned his head away and you must’ve realized how you looked because your hold on his fingers tightened slightly. “Not right now. In general, did I ever do something to make you think I’m not happy with you?”

“No,” he answered quietly, not even having to think about it. “But it doesn’t…”

“I told you before, how can I even look at anyone else when I have you?” you spoke up when he faltered. “You’re beautiful to me, Joel, even if you don’t believe me right now. You’re amazing and kind, you’re fucking hot, and yeah, maybe you’re stubborn at times, but I love you so much, and every day I find another reason to fall for you all over again.”

Joel met your eyes again, looking for any hesitation or deceit – but he didn’t find any. As always, you were sincere in everything you said.

He realized, with another wave of tears threatening to roll down his cheeks, how much he missed your affection that he alone deprived himself from. How much he longed for this intimacy that once came so easily to him.

“M’sorry,” he muttered at last, lifting his hand to your face and trying to ignore those damn tears spilling from behind his eyelids. “Never doubted you, babygirl, but I just didn’t know how… how to tell you.”

“It’s okay, Joel,” you nuzzled your cheek into his palm, planting a kiss on the inside of his hand. “It’s alright, c’mon here.”

Not letting go of his hand, you tugged him gently and leaned back on the pillows. With great effort he refrained from fighting you, and instead let you pull him down, laying his head on your chest.

And in an instant, everything was alright again. The moment Joel heard your heartbeat under his ear and felt your gentle hands on the nape of his neck and his back… it was like coming home. This feeling of warmth spreading across his limbs made him feel safe for the first time in weeks.

It was so long since he fully let you hold him.

Maybe that’s what he’s been missing.

“I adore you, Joel Miller,” you whispered into the top of his head, holding him close to your heart. “All of you, and just the way you are.”

Joel couldn’t help it – a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Called it,” he murmured. “You’re gettin’ sappy.”

You snorted and kissed his hairline. “I think you need it, handsome.”

“Maybe I do,” he conceded, not moving his head from your chest, and sighed tiredly. “Dammit, missed holdin’ you like this, babygirl. M’so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you countered, but he continued.

“I just didn’t know how to talk about it… How to tell you that I feel bad. About… the way I look.”

Joel felt your hands on his cheeks, and although he really didn’t want to move from the position he was in, he let you lift his head.

“I love the way you look,” you said quietly, in a tone that made Joel’s old heart flutter. “And our bodies change, there’s nothing wrong with that. If anything, I’m really happy that both of us can enjoy this kind of life.” You leaned in and nudged Joel’s nose with yours, closing your eyes. “Every change of our bodies is a sign that we’re finally safe after all we’ve been through. 

“But you look gorgeous as ever, sweet girl.”

“M’glad to hear it, Mr Miller,” you teased, but then your smile turned wistful. “But you know, I was insecure about my looks, too, not sure if you noticed. My stomach and thighs, and,” you rolled your eyes, “well, my butt.”

Normally Joel would throw a playful remark, or try to make you giggle, but this time he stayed silent. He just listened to your soft voice, drinking in your features.

“It worried me for some time. But you still put your hand on my leg when I was sitting with you, and you never shied away from telling and showing me,” you stressed this word, a teasing note in your tone, “how much you like my body.”

“‘Course I do,” he murmured quietly, lifting himself on his elbows and leaning over you despite your huffs and efforts to keep him in place.

“So I thought that maybe you didn’t care about this extra weight, or even didn’t–”

The rest of your words were swallowed by Joel’s lips when he kissed you deeply and hungrily. So many strong emotions were swirling inside his chest, he didn’t know anymore what to do with himself. At first you tried to continue your train of thought, but soon gave up, erupting into giggles when Joel latched his lips onto your neck and wrapped his arms around you in an attempt to bring you in even closer.

“I didn’t care,” he was whispering into your skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses in his wake. “I don’t.”

“Then you see– Joel, stop it!” You squealed when he carried on with his assault, not giving you a second to gather your thoughts.

“M’so lucky to have you,” he whispered while peppering your face in soft kisses. “Thank you, babygirl.”

You finally managed to free your arms, and you cupped his face in your hands with a huge grin that Joel decided he wanted to see every day. Another adorable giggle escaped you when he snuggled his scratchy cheek into your palm.

“I know it will take time,” you said gently, but firmly, looking deep into his eyes. “But no matter how long it’ll take, I will make you understand how incredibly attracted I am to you.” Joel hung his head low to hide a bashful snigger, and your smile grew. “Understand?”

“Yeah, yeah. Understood, ma’am.”

“Good.” You pulled him closer to plant a slow kiss on his lips, and asked seductively: “I can start right now, if you’d want to. I don’t want my handsome man to feel insecure about any part of him.”

God, he loved you so much.

Joel hid his face in the crook of your neck again, his heart squeezing with adoration and disbelief at how it came that he’d been blessed with someone like you.

“Y’know what, sweetheart? I think it’d do me good.”

[sturnioloskyline]

I have a request. Btw that story was really good.🫶🏼

How about Matt asking reader if she wants to go bike riding with him she usually loves to spend as much time with him as possible but she oddly doesn’t want to because she can’t ride a bike so Matt ends up comforting her and teaching how to ride.🤭

training wheels

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader

warnings: language, kissing, fluff

summary: matt wants nothing but to take you on a bike ride around boston, the only issue is that you’ve never ridden a bike before.

thank you for the request anon!

matt had been talking about this moment since he had first started dating y/n. it was something he had always wanted to do with a partner, and he couldn't have been more excited that person was her.

and of course, she was excited too. y/n absolutely loved spending quality time with matt, it was one of their main ways of showing love to each other. so when matt brought up the idea, y/n just couldn't say no.

matt was visiting boston with y/n for the first time, and he wanted to take y/n on a bike ride around the area he grew up. when he was younger, he and his brothers used to always ride their bikes on this trail near their house that led through a park in the city with a beautiful view. it was an incredibly cute and sentimental plan, and y/n immediately agreed to it.

there was only one problem: y/n had no idea how to ride a bike. she never had anyone to teach her, so it was just never a part of her childhood. she didn't want to tell matt, though, because he had talked extensively about how bike-riding was the one of the most nostalgic activities ever. she was embarrassed to admit that she never partook in the activity, so she just avoided mentioning it. besides, six-year-olds could do it, so how hard could it be?

matt rolled out two bikes from his parents' garage out into the driveway. he pushed one of them towards y/n, who hesitated before grabbing the handles. she flashed matt a quick smile.

"ready?" matt asked, slinging a leg over the seat of his bicycle. he turned his head back to look at y/n, who struggled to mount herself on the bike.

"yup, just give me a — woah!" y/n yelped as she lost balance, her bike toppling over from under her. luckily, she stumbled off without falling, but was left disoriented. matt immediately got off his bike and approached y/n, placing his hands on her hips and looking down at her.

"holy shit, are you okay?" matt chuckled, helping y/n regain her balance. y/n clutched onto matt's arms to gain stability.

"yeah i just..." y/n bit the inside of her cheek, thinking, her gaze trailing down to her feet. she definitely didn't feel comfortable getting back on the bike now. matt's face fell a bit, noticing y/n's worried expression.

"what's wrong babe?" matt asked more softly, pulling away from y/n a bit to look at her face.

"i just..." y/n trailed off, looking up at matt. the concerned expression on his face only made her feel more guilty, so she decided to just tell matt the truth. "i don't know how to ride a bike."

matt stayed silent, only making y/n's heart beat faster with anxiety. she couldn't read his thoughts, and that worried her. she tore her eyes off matt's and looked back down at the ground.

until she heard a snort. she looked up to see matt biting his lip with a smirk. he broke out into laughter when he saw his girlfriend look up at him, only causing her to start giggling as well.

"matt, are you laughing at me?" she asked playfully, swatting matt's arm.

"no! no, i'm not laughing at you! i think it's really cute that you..." matt was cut off by his own giggles. "...don't know how to ride a bike."

y/n blushed and stepped back, rolling her eyes. "yeah, sure, whatever."

matt sighed and pulled y/n back towards him, this time pulling her into a hug. "why didn't you tell me before?"

"i don't know. but i really, really wanna go on this bike ride with you, matt. i didn't want to hold us back because i don't know how to ride a fucking bike," y/n sighed. "plus... i guess i was kind of embarrassed. i mean, you talk about riding your bike with nick and chris all the time and i just never did that as a kid. no one ever taught me."

matt pulled back from the hug, his eyes lighting up as he met y/n’s gaze. "i can teach you!"

"are you sure? i'm not very good at this kinda stuff. and i don't want to fall," y/n mumbled, looking over at the toppled bike on the driveway.

"it'll be fine," matt comforted, leaning down to place a sweet peck on y/n's lips. "i won't let anything happen to you, i promise."

matt kept to his promise, spending the next 30 minutes teaching y/n the basics of how to ride a bike. she ended up being pretty good for a beginner, and confident enough to bike slowly and casually to the park with matt on a bike beside her, talking her through it all the way.

the bike ride was peaceful. matt and y/n maintained sweet small talk as bird around them flew from tree to tree, chirping as they went. the view was also comforting, the trees’ leaves all red orange and yellow due to the autumn weather. the more they rode their bikes, the more y/n became comfortable with looking around her to admire the nature around and matt’s smiling face.

when they reached the park, matt rested both of their bikes against a tree before pulling his girlfriend into an embrace.

"you did it, let's go!" matt exclaimed, lifting his girlfriend off the ground and spinning her around, causing him to lose his balance and send both of them tumbling onto the grass.

"matt!" y/n squealed, giggling on the ground and laying down on her back to catch her breath. matt propped himself up beside her, hovering over her and reaching to tuck a few stray pieces of her hair behind her ear.

"so, how do you like riding bikes now?" matt asked, grinning down at y/n.

"love it." y/n smiled back, admiring her boyfriend's handsome features above her.

"i love you," matt confessed, leaning down to softly kiss y/n.

"i love you too," y/n murmured into the kiss, pulling matt down to lay beside her. the two of them layed contently on the grass together for hours, watching the sunset as they mumbled sweet nothings in between soft kisses.

...

author's note: first request!! thanks again anon. short and sweet 🤭. i spilled my baja blast all over me when writing this. (matt + clairo makes my heart full)

[nova-amor]

༘☁︎⋆ ◜ 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐞? ◞

you and eren had been best friends for years, having been neighbors all through your development years and staying in close contact with one another during your college careers. you two had never been seen without the other as you grew up, practically glued to each other’s hips.

it wasn’t until after college graduation did you begin to have scheduling conflicts; even with living in the same apartment, you often missed one another due to your differing work schedules and forming new friendships beyond your original friend group.

not wanting to drift apart, eren had come up with a solution: you two would set aside one friday night of the month to spend time with each other, an opportunity for you to catch up and just talk. it was the perfect plan, allowing you some quality time together— watching your favorite movies, splitting a box of pizza, and drinking a bottle of white wine or two. it was exactly what you two had needed to patch up any spawning holes in your relationship.

and, just like any other friday, you and eren had settled onto the living room couch— a comedy movie playing in the background while you devoured your halves of a medium-sized pizza. your legs were draped over eren’s lap, head resting back with the support of a few decorative pillows while you munched on a slice of pizza.

“woah there, ‘ren, it ain’t going nowhere,” you joked as eren downed the rest of his wine in one large gulp, a bit of the alcohol dripping down the corner of his mouth. he gave you a silly grin, wiping the spilled droplets away with the back of his hand. “do you want another glass?”

he extended his glass out to you, “do you mind? i can go get another one myself,”

“if i didn’t want to, i wouldn’t have asked,” you took the glass from him, throwing your legs off his lap and onto the floor. eren watched as you stood up, his eyes trailing over the length of your body before looking back up at you. “i need to replenish my glass anyway, just pause the movie for me.”

eren nodded, mindlessly reaching for the remote as you walked off. he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your backside, his eyes locked on the view of your ass cheeks spilling out the bottom of your very short pajama shorts. the article was skin-tight, clinging to the globes of your ass, his mind buzzing with the idea of whether or not you were wearing underwear or not.

his cock stirred beneath his sweatpants, his hands pawing at his erection, attempting to soothe it or at least hide it before you came back.

“eren?” oh no.

“can you come help me?” you called out to him, voice all high-pitched and needy. he began to panic internally, tucking his erection up into his waistband. maybe if he kept your eyes from drifting down, you wouldn’t noticed the very obvious tent in his pants. “i can’t get the cork out, can you come do it?”

and by the light shuffling of feet across the carpet, eren was sure enough on his way. you held the bottle out to him and he willingly took it from you. he pulled the cork out effortlessly, pouring a few ounces of the wine into your empty glasses as well.

"eren?"

"yeah," he glanced over at you, taking note to how your nipples were very obviously poking through your tank top. it was thin, white, and very sheer. he could faintly see the outline of your areolas through the material. "what's up?" he shifted his gaze to make eye contact with you, feeling a bit guilty for staring at your chest so shamelessly.

"can you help me with something else?" you asked, taking a step towards him. your eyes flickered down to his pants before looking back up at him. "and, maybe, i can help you."

eren took a moment— a long pregnant pause stretching between your exchange. fuck it.

"help you with what?" he already knew the answer to his question. especially with the way you were biting your lip, thick thighs rubbing against one another, your hands fidgeting with the sleeves of your hoodie. he knew exactly what you wanted. he just wanted to hear you say it.

"i think you already know what, 'ren."

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Humbling Him

Henry was a real jerk, but he could afford to be. Being rich, tall, and the star of our college's soccer team made many overlook his irredeemable qualities, but I hadn't overlooked them. I've been scheming a plan to humble him ever since the day we met.

Stepping into my dorm room, I'm greeted with the smell of his body odor and the sight of my messy roommate lounging on my futon. His sweat is soaking into the fabric and the remnants of his lunch are tossed carelessly across my rug.

"Hey bro," he calls with a stupidly boyish grin.

Henry had been chill with me so far, but it's just a matter of time before he finds out I'm gay and beats me up like he did the other guys.

"Hey, man," I mask my annoyance, "Could you not leave food on the rug?"

"Whatever, bro," he doesn't look away from the game on the flat screen, "Your sis stopped by a minute ago. She's fine as hell by the way."

"You talked to my sister?"

"Yeah, bro. And that rack on her!" he goes on, "She was so easy too, but she said she worked in the cafeteria."

"Don't call her easy, man," I try to stay cool, "And whats wrong with making money?"

"Whatever, I'm not banging the lunch lady."

"Shut up, Henry!" I finally snap.

It was time to put my plan into action. This jerk needed to realize the world didn't revolve around his money, his good looks, or his athleticism.

Since my first night with him, I've blasted binaural sound waves as he sleeps. It's a technology that installs weaknesses into one's psyche, and Henry's brain now had a trigger word that would open his subconscious to anyone who used it on him.

"Bro, I thought you were chill!" he sneers, standing in front of me. He's trying to intimidate me with his height and muscle. It works a little.

"I am chill," I stand my ground, "As long as you know your place, boy."

He scoffs at the word, but I see his furrowed brow relax a little, "Why'd you call me that, bro?"

"Why'd I call you a boy?" the jock cringes at my words, "Because you are a boy."

"What the hell, bro," even his voice relaxes a little.

"Don't call my 'bro,' boy. I'm not your bro, and a boy like you shouldn't be calling me bro."

Seeing him flustered is empowering. Finally, Henry isn't being cocky or assertive. He takes a step back as I step towards him. His bulky frame is still impressive, but it feels smaller as his shoulders drop and knees quiver.

"Whatever, br...," he corrects himself, "Whatever."

"That's it boy," my own voice sounds more confident, more assertive.

"Then what the hell do I call you!" The jock growls in frustration.

"Call me boss if you need to call me something," I answer. I hadn't expected to say that, but it felt so natural to demand.

"Whatever, boss," he mumbles in defeat.

"Good boy!"

Henry swears at me under his breath, clearly feeling his masculinity become more and more threatened.

"Woah! Good boys don't swear!" I raise my voice, "And you're a good boy. You won't curse anymore. Will you?"

"No, boss," he mutters, looking at the floor.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you, and speak up!"

"Yes, boss," Henry's voice cracks.

I think I've actually broken the bully. Letting out a victorious chuckle, I examine his well-defined muscles beneath his sweaty tracksuit. Without, a second thought, I grab a handful of his perfectly rounded glutes.

"Woah, boss," he recoils with disgust, "Are you homo?"

"Sure I am, boy, and that doesn't bother you at all. Does it?"

"No, boss," he answers honestly, staring into my eyes respectfully.

"You're going to let me touch you when I want to. Right?"

"Sure, boss," the former bully replies meekly.

"And if I bring some guys over, your going to let them grab at you too. Right?"

"Yeah, boss. It's whatever," he frowns.

"And you aren't going to talk badly about them, or anyone ever again," I continue instructing him, "Especially not my sister. Did you insult her when she was here earlier?"

"No, boss!" he assures me, "I told her how fine she was."

"And that's it, boy?" I press.

"No, boss," he hangs his head in regret, "I told her to get lost when she said she was a lunch lady."

"That's what I thought," I reply, hatching a plan in my head for how to degrade him even further.

A couple weeks later, I see Henry behind the counter in the cafeteria, dishing out the greasy mac and cheese. His soccer buddies had just left, but they did nothing but tease their friend for his new menial job. Henry, took all the jokes with a smile, but I knew that spoiled rich athlete was dying inside.

Stepping up to the counter, Henry's eyes widen nervously at my presence. The jerk has become semi-aware of the control I have over him, but he still can't keep himself from obeying my words: no matter how humiliating they are.

"Boy," I address him.

He checks to see if anyone is near before replying, "Boss."

"I have friends coming over tonight. You know what that means."

"Yeah, boss. I'll clean our room when I get off."

"Bring some snacks and drinks back for us too," I add, knowing he gets a discount from working in the cafeteria.

"Sure, boss," he gestures to the pans of steaming lunch, "So do you want some or not?"

My stomach lurches at the smell.

"Nope, just keep working hard, boy."

"Wait, boss!" he calls me back, "Your sister has been all over me today."

"So what, boy?"

"So what do I do, boss?" he casts a nervous glance to my sister working at the cash register, "She keeps flirting."

"What do you mean, 'what do you do,' boy? You'll wine and dine her. Treat her to every expensive thing you can afford," I command.

"So I can take her out?" he grins that dopey smile of his. I've forced him to quit hooking up with random girls without my permission, so he's a bit pent up.

"You can, but she calls the shots, boy," I snap at him, "If she wants to mess around with you on the side, you'll make yourself available whenever she wants it. If she wants a guy to dump all her emotional baggage onto, you'll listen and comfort her whenever she wants it. Hell, if she wants to marry your ass, you'll be the most devoted husband a boy like you can be!"

I watch as the words sink in, and he accepts his fate as my sister's bitch.

She has a strong personality. I know the kind of guy she needs, and even if she doesn't need Henry, she can toss him aside without any worries.

As I leave, I see my sister cast a glance over at the stud with a hairnet, serving lunch to a line of freshman. I have to admit that I hope she drags that cocky rich athlete down the aisle. She'll have his money, status, and body to boss around.

And I'll have even more fun when he's my brother-in-law.

[rottenpumpkin13]

How does an award ceremony dinner for the Firsts go horribly wrong?

The Award ceremony (from hell)

• After a year of successful military conquests, it's time for Shinra to honor its soldiers and military personnel, and the First Class trio is no exception.

• To commemorate the SOLDIER program, Shinra hosts a MANDATORY award ceremony dinner.

• Unfortunately for the First Class, this award ceremony comes with strings. Sephiroth is expected to give a speech, Genesis has a personal affair on the same night, and Lazard passed the duty of green-lighting the menu onto Angeal.

• All three of them are stressed. Sephiroth trusts his ability to write a speech just fine; it's the prospect of speaking on a stage with a hundred eyes on him that freaks him out.

• Angeal is going over the menu options and cursing Lazard for—quote—trusting his better judgment.

• Meanwhile, Genesis is feigning nonchalance. He's confident that he can attend to his personal affair and be back for the award ceremony all in one night.

• The award ceremony dinner arrives. Sephiroth and Angeal enter the ceremony hall dressed to the nines, the former with a stack of cards in his shaking hands.

Angeal: You know, if no one likes the food, I'm blaming Lazard. I don't know the first thing about fancy dinners.

Sephiroth (exasperated): I wish I had your problems. Meanwhile, I fear I'm going to throw up the minute I step foot on that stage.

Angeal: Oh, well, don't eat the shrimp.

• Sephiroth gives him a critical look.

Angeal: Oh, don't give me that look. I don't know what you're so worried about, anyway. You're Sephiroth. You could go up on that stage and talk about the consistency of chocolate milk, and everyone will still eat it up.

Sephiroth: Ugh. Have you heard anything from Genesis?

Angeal: No, and I haven't seen him since this morning.

Sephiroth: Huh, how odd. I saw him a few hours ago before he left. He was wondering if I had any spare bobby pins to lend him

Angeal: What was he up to?

Sephiroth: I don't know, but he smelled like women's perfume—*Sephiroth gags*

Angeal: Woah, you okay?

Sephiroth: It's the nerves.

• Angeal sees a waiter walk by with a tray of champagne and whisks a glass away.

Angeal: Here, have some alcohol. It'll calm you down.

• Sephiroth takes a reluctant sip, willing to try anything to calm himself down.

Sephiroth: Oh... this tastes nice!

Angeal: See? Just don't drink too mu—

• Sephiroth downs the champagne in one go and reaches for a glass of wine from a passing waiter. He downs that in one go too.

Angeal: Oh boy.

• Angeal leaves for the kitchens to make sure everything is according to plan. Meanwhile Sephiroth is too busy drowning himself in alcohol.

• By the time the award ceremony begins, the man is WASTED.

• Angeal is sitting at a table with Zack and Kunsel. Everyone's eating dinner. At the table adjacent to theirs, Heidegger, Scarlet and the rest of the board dig into their food. Angeal overhears everything.

Scarlet: My, this coq-au-vin tastes dreadful!

Heidegger: Utterly inedible!

Scarlet: The meat is clearly low quality and whoever thought pairing this with pasta is a proper barbarian.

• Angeal starts convulsing in his seat.

Zack: Ignore them, 'Geal.

Kunsel: Yeah, I think the food tastes fine.

Zack: ...

Zack: Kunsel?

Kunsel: Yes?

Zack: You haven't eaten a single bite.

• Sephiroth takes the stage with a wave of applause. He's stumbling, disheveled, and smiling like an idiot.

Sephiroth: Okay! Genuine, question. Show of hands, who pines for the sweet release on the daily? Eh? Eh?

• The audience laughs, unsure if Sephiroth is joking.

Sephiroth: I was told to prepare a speech, but I did not bother memorizing it, dunked my cue cards in the punch, and now I frankly don't give a shit anymore.

Zack (whispering to Kunsel): Is he drunk?

Kunsel: Nah.

• Back on the stage, Sephiroth tries to unscrew the microphone from the stand, struggling at first, but finally freeing it with a violent yank. He then launches the microphone stand into the crowd, where it knocks out Professor Hojo in one swift move. The audience gasps.

Kunsel: Oh he's hammered.

• Meanwhile, Angeal is quietly seething with rage as Heidegger and Scarlet continue to joke about the food.

• On the stage, Sephiroth loosens his tie.

Sephiroth: Instead of a speech, I find it much more productive to have a conversation. So here's my opinion about every single one of you. *He points at President Shinra in the crowd* Starting with you, Colonel Sanders.

• Meanwhile, Genesis rushes back into the building. He's almost grateful his costume makes him unrecognizable, he'd be utterly humiliated if people knew that the Genesis Rhapsodos was late.

• He pulls up the hem of his dress as he steps into the elevator, adjusting his corset with one final huff. He made it. Good. Now he can—

• Genesis pales as he looks to his left. Leaning against the elevator mirror is Rufus Shinra, looking utterly enchanted.

Rufus: Good evening.

Genesis: ...Hi?

Rufus: I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of meeting you. What's your name?

• Genesis is both relieved that he doesn't recognize him and a little stunned.

Genesis: Uh...Gen...ee, Genny! I'm Genny, nice to meet you.

Rufus: What an enchanting young woman. Are you unaccompanied? Going to the award ceremony, perhaps?

Genesis: *panicking* Yes.

Rufus: What a coincidence. I was heading over there myself. You wouldn't mind keeping me company, would you?

• The elevator door opens just in time.

Genesis: Oh, look at the time! I gotta go!

• He runs out, leaving Rufus swooning in the elevator.

Rufus: I have found the future Mrs. Shinra. *he runs after him*

• Meanwhile, Sephiroth is giving the speech of the century.

Sephiroth: Oh! Here's a joke, why did the chicken cross the road? Any guesses? Anyone? TO GO SEE HER MOTHER BECAUSE CHICKENS HAVE MOTHERS. *He points at palmer* STOP EATING THAT CHICKEN WING, PALMER.

• Palmer, terrified, drops his chicken wing.

• Meanwhile, Angeal is slowly rocking back and forth as he listens to Heidegger and Scarlet's critique.

Heidegger: Ha! As if that chicken was edible.

Scarlet: So dry, right?

• Angeal slams his fist down on the table and stands up.

Angeal: THAT'S IT. DON'T LIKE IT? DON'T EAT IT! STARVE!

Heidegger: Don't yell at me, Hewley! If you have a problem with me, come over here and let's settle it like men.

• Angeal grabs a handful of pasta and launches it at Heidegger. This makes Heidegger grab a handful of mashed potatoes and throw it back at Angeal.

• Zack takes the golden opportunity to leap up on the table and yell "FOOD FIGHT!"

• It takes .2 seconds for the entirety of the Third Class to comply, turning the award ceremony into a juvenile chaos. Meanwhile, Sephiroth is still going at it while people throw food at each other

Sephiroth: —which is why I think that if you think human experimentation is ethical, DON'T HAVE CHILDREN! ABSTAIN FROM INTERCOURSE! WRAP YOUR WEANER!

• Meanwhile, Genesis comes rushing into the ceremony hall. He doesn't even care about the food fight, he's too busy trying to get away from Rufus. So he ducks under the first table he sees.

Genesis: Ah, greetings.

Angeal: WHY ARE YOU A WOMAN?

Zack: Wow, Angeal, that's a little sexist.

Kunsel: Yeah, be nice to the lady.

Genesis: It's me. Genesis.

Angeal: Explain, Gen.

Genesis: Look, the why's and how's of my fabulous look are irrelevant right now! We have a problem!

Angeal: Tell me about it. Sephiroth is drunkenly airing out his woes and I just saw president Shinra get hit with an entire platter of shrimp.

Kunsel: Thanks to Zack.

Zack: Hey, it was Angeal who started it!

Angeal: And it was you who instigated it!

Genesis: Guys! Rufus is in love with me because he thinks I'm a girl! I lied to him in the elevator because I was under pressure! Do you have any idea how much trouble I'm gonna be in when he finds out!?

Zack: So you bagged a billionaire and you're complaining?

Genesis: ZACK!

Zack: Fine, fine. Give me your key card and wait here. I'll go get your guy clothes and you can change.

Genesis: Thank you.

Angeal: In the meantime, Kunsel, come help me drag Sephiroth from the stage.

• They emerge from under the table to find Tseng and Reno trying to wrestle the microphone away from Sephiroth.

Reno: Let go, man! You've had enough!

Tseng: I agree, Sephiroth. How about we go get you into bed? Hm?

Reno: Yeah, and then—AYE! HE'S BITING ME HE'S BITING ME HE'S—

• Tseng panics and punches Sephiroth in the face, knocking him out instantly. Angeal and Kunsel watch on in horror.

Kunsel: Uhh...I guess that means we don't have to do anything?

Angeal: We run.

• They take off amidst the chaos.

• Zack returns a few minutes later with a tuxedo and makeup wipes. He slips under the table and helps Genesis get dressed.

• When they emerge, they're dodging flying wads of food and rushing towards the exit. That is until they bump into Rufus Shinra.

Rufus: Ah, Gentlemen, have you perhaps seen this tall, gorgeous ginger in a red dress? Her name was Genny and she smelled like—*sniff sniff*

• Rufus pauses, sniffing the air. Genesis starts receding, trying to hide behind Zack. It's no use, Rufus recognizes the scent instantly. Fury blazes in his eyes as he looks at Genesis.

Rufus: Y O U.

Genesis: ZACK RUN!

• Genesis and Zack take off screaming as Rufus chases them.

• Moral of the story: Don't abuse alcohol, don't lose your temper, and don't let your boss's son fall in love with the gender-bent version of you.

[charmandabear]

New Year's Eve

Summary:

You don't really want to go to Shadowheart's New Year's Eve party, but you meet someone who might make things a little more interesting.

Pairing: Astarion/gn!Reader (femme leaning) Rating: T Word Count: 3.7k Tags: fluff, first kiss, new year's eve, flirting, sexual tension, pool shenanigans (the game, not like swimming)

Read it on AO3.

Final part (maybe) of Midwinter Nights! I really wanted to get this out actually on NYE, but I spent too much time playing Baldur's Gate. Oops. Once again, my beautiful banner Astarion was made by Idylla.

Midwinter Nights: Yule | Christmas | New Year's Eve

You're not really one for parties. There are too many strangers in too small of a space listening to music that's too loud while eating food that's too salty. But Shadowheart was insistent, even helping you dress for the occasion.

She bent over you, applying some glittery eyeshadow that fell onto your cheeks with every stroke of her brush. Her long silvery ponytail dangled over her shoulder, the tip of it tickling your hands resting in your lap.

“Stop flinching!” she snapped, and you clenched your hands to force yourself still. You weren't accustomed to wearing much makeup at all, save maybe a little smokey eyeliner and lipstick. But you really hated having things near your eyes. Shadowheart knew this, and she promised to be as gentle as possible. She pulled up your eyebrow to smooth out her canvas.

When she pulled out a tool that could have easily been a medieval torture device, you scooted back in her vanity chair and held your hands up in defense. She rolled her eyes at your theatrics.

“This is the alternative to mascara, it's going to be one or the other,” she huffed at you. “It won't hurt at all, so long as you stay still.” Still wary of the metal contraption, you closed your eyes, taking a breath to settle your jumpy nerves.

She pressed the cool curved metal to your eyelid and you managed to still your instinct to pull back. She clamped the contraption down on your eyelashes and you held your breath to keep yourself from moving. You managed to stay frozen while she curled the lashes of your other eye, and when she finally pulled away you let out a puff of air.

“Okay, now lashes,” she said as she applied a thin layer of glue to a spidery false eyelash.

“Woah woah woah, I thought that was it. What the hell is that?” You leaned away from it like she was holding an actual tarantula. She flicked up her cold green eyes to meet yours, unamused by your antics.

“You said no mascara, so this is necessary. Don't worry, nothing will get in your eye, this just sits on top.” She waved the lash like she was shaking water off it, and you followed it with your eyes uneasily.

“Why is this so important to you?” you muttered under your breath, resuming your statuesque stillness. You heard Shadowheart release an impatient breath.

“I just want to make you look pretty, is that so much to ask? Well, prettier than usual, at least.” You could hear the smile in her voice. The least you could do is indulge her a little bit, you supposed. Shadowheart didn't have many luxuries growing up in such a strict orphanage. She wasn't allowed to keep any dolls, so letting her play dress up with you now was a small price to pay for her delight.

“Besides,” her voice took on a musical quality, “there’s going to be someone there tonight that I want you to meet.” You stifled a groan. Shadowheart had become borderline insufferable since she and Karlach started dating. The two of them were very cute together, almost sickenly so, stealing touches whenever they thought they could get away with it. You knew that she just wanted you to be happy, but you still hadn’t quite recovered from the last time she set you up with someone.

“This isn’t going to be like that awful double date with Gale, right?” you asked with trepidation. She smirked as she stepped back, admiring her work.

“No, trust me, I learned my lesson on that one. In fact, these two couldn’t be more different, I promise.” She tapped your knee, signaling you to turn back to the vanity mirror to see the final look. For a moment, you were actually at a loss for words. The silvery shimmer on your eyelids reflected every color of the rainbow, the sparkles dancing every time you moved your head. The sharp lines of the deep plum color on your lips made them look pouty and kissable. Your hair cascaded down your shoulder, pinned back with little star and moon shaped trinkets. She had put you in a dress that you were certain would make you look like a clown, but the way the rose gold sequins and sweetheart neckline hugged your curves evoked an almost ethereal quality.

“So?” Shadowheart made eye contact with you in the mirror, and you could see her bouncing with excitement.

“Shadowheart, I look amazing!” you breathed, still marveling that a little styling could change this much.

“I know,” she said in her charmingly self-satisfied way. She planted a kiss on the top of your head and bounded across the room to her dresser, pulling a necklace off the jewelry tree sitting on top.

“Hair,” she commanded, and you carefully held up your hair for her to clasp it around your neck. “And one final touch,” she added, and said the incantation for minor illusion, making everything on you sparkle just a little bit more. She put her hands on your shoulders and pressed her cheek to yours, still looking at your reflection in the mirror.

“You know, I did such a good job that you’ll have your pick of potential partners,” she grinned, “but I think I know who you’ll choose.”

~~~

The temporary confidence boost brought on by seeing your reflection had worn off and the social anxiety began to creep in. Shadowheart sashayed over to you and pressed a wine glass into your hand. 

“I don't think he's here yet, but drink this, loosen up a bit,” she said with a conspiratorial smile. You welcomed having something to do with your hands as your eyes scanned the room, looking for a comforting face. Unfortunately your eyes locked with Gale, who smiled and waved.

“Sorry, gotta run,” Shadowheart said and was gone before you could protest. Gale wandered toward you and politeness locked your legs in place.

“Hello again,” he greeted cheerily, if not a bit awkwardly. You gave him a strained smile, clutching your glass a little tighter.

“Hi Gale, it's good to see you,” you said, hoping the lie wasn't too evident. You stood together in silence for a moment, shuffling your feet uncomfortably.

“Read anything interesting lately? I'm currently several chapters into the most fascinating tome on the intricacies of the Peloponnesian War by the Greek historian Thucydides. He does something really remarkable, something that only a handful of historians even think to do, by connecting the famines around that time with the internal conflicts that arose. He manages to capture the desperation that forced them into…”

It amazed you how much he could speak without taking a breath. Despite starting with a question, he hadn't paused long enough for you to answer. You sipped the wine as he continued to ramble, eyes darting around for an escape. Your gaze landed on a beautiful young man with ivory skin and silvery hair, perfectly windswept. Your breath caught in your throat a little just looking at him. He was dressed impeccably, a blue and purple brocade vest with gold closures over a dusky lavender cashmere turtleneck that hugged his lithe figure. His legs were long and lean, and he stood with a permanently crooked gait, giving an aloof and casual air.

He caught your eye and flashed a disarming grin. His gaze shifted to Gale, who had moved on to comparing The History of the Peloponnesian War to Plato’s Republic, then back to you. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question, to which you nodded almost imperceptibly. He chuckled and sauntered over.

“Gale, darling, I’m afraid our new friend here will soon lose her hearing the way you’re talking her ear off,” he said in a melodic voice, slinging an arm around Gale’s shoulder. Gale started and turned toward the handsome stranger.

“Oh, Astarion, I didn’t see you there.” He turned to look back at you, appropriately chagrined. “My apologies, once I get started it can be hard for me to stop. I’ll stop monopolizing your presence and let you mingle.” And with that, he was off. You let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding.

“Thank you, I didn’t know how to make him stop,” you said with relief, your posture visibly relaxing.

“He has a tendency to do that,” he chuckled, “you learn how to manage him after a time.”

“I appreciate it all the same,” you responded, cheeks beginning to redden. His gaze was piercing, almost as if he could see into you. 

“You know, I thought I had already met everyone worth knowing around here, but evidently I was wrong.” He held out a slender hand for you to take, and you shivered slightly when you felt how icy it was. “Astarion, though I suppose Gale let that fact slip already.”

You caught a glimpse of Karlach across the room, who noticed you talking to Astarion and excitedly batted Shadowheart’s shoulder. She turned and gave you a big smile, mouthing “That's him!” while pointing at Astarion’s back. Her lack of subtlety made you smile.

“Yeah, I think our generous host wanted us to meet,” you said with a little nod, and he looked over his shoulder at Karlach and Shadowheart, who very unconvincingly pretended to be deep in conversation.

“Well how lucky for us that we found each other, then,” he said in a low breath, and you felt your subconscious pulling you toward him, the magnetic force between you palpable. You coughed and stepped away, head spinning slightly from the rush. You nervously took a sip of your wine.

“Are you enjoying that?” he asked, wrinkling his nose at the glass. You looked down at it, perplexed. You didn't really know much about alcohol at all, you just accepted whatever Shadowheart gave to you.

“It's fine, I guess,” you said, shrugging noncommittally. He took it from you and bent down to put it on the table behind you. He brushed against you slightly as he did, and that heady feeling came back. The scent of his cologne washed over you, your body reacting to the smell like a pheromone. You blinked at him as he straightened up.

“You smell… good,” you stammered incoherently. 

“Aren't you just the sweetest?” he said with a jaunty smile. “Here, let me get you something better than that foul wine.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you over to an old-fashioned metal drink cart. Shadowheart would get something like that for a party.

“Any requests?” He surveyed the selection, lithe fingers dancing over the labels.

“I don't drink much, so whatever you think is good,” you said, looking up at him with your big doe eyes. He smiled, admiring just how cute you looked, your silky hair curling around your pretty neck. He was suspicious of your innocent act, convinced that there was more to you than you led on. He took two shot glasses from the lower tray and poured a deep red liquor.

“Try this, let me know what you think,” he said, handing you one of the shot glasses. He held his out to you, making very deliberate eye contact, waiting for you to clink. You locked eyes with him and his undead heart skipped a beat. You both downed the shot while maintaining eye contact. When you pulled the glass away from your lips, a delectable drop of the blood red liquid remained. 

Astarion reached out and swiped his thumb across your bottom lip, his touch like an electric shock. He smirked as he licked the remnant of the liquor that he stole from your lip. He must've known what he was doing to your insides, and it looked like he was enjoying watching you squirm.

“How does that taste?” he murmured, tongue lingering on the st. Your throat was dry despite the liquor still coating the inside of your mouth.

“Good,” you croaked with a nod. “I like it.”

“Good,” he repeated your word, somehow making it sound so much more lascivious. He grabbed two long flutes and filled them with sparkling wine. He then topped them off with the sweet liquor, and you watched the red liquid curling through the gold, undulating like an exotic dancer. He swirled the glasses until the entire drink had taken on a bright crimson.

“Cheers,” he said, holding out the glass. You tapped your glass to his, lost once more in his intense eye contact. You watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, mesmerized by the smooth porcelain of his skin. He noticed you staring and he grinned, causing you to suddenly look away as you felt your cheeks reddening.

In that moment Karlach sidled up to you, saving you from yourself. She threw her arm around your neck and addressed Astarion.

“Hey, Fangs, I hear you're pretty good at pool. Wyll and I are the undefeated champs right now, think you and Sparkles here can take us?”

Fangs?

“Well, I do rather enjoy seeing Wyll’s cry, so yes, I think we can. What do you think?” He hit you again with that penetrating gaze of his, and you felt yourself buckle under the weight of Karlach’s arm. 

“Sure,” you said meekly, still feeling Astarion's stare. Karlach pumped her fist in victory and ran off to grab Wyll. Astarion pressed his hand into your lower back in the direction of the pool table.

“Don't worry if you don't know how to play, darling, I'll play well enough for the both of us,” he whispered into your ear, and his breath tickled your love. You swallowed thickly and allowed yourself to be guided over to the table.

Wyll was already there, chalking up his cue. You had met him once or twice in passing, but never spent much time in each other's presence. You waved shyly and he replied with a polite nod.

“Ahh, billiards,” Wyll said wistfully. “Such an elegant game.”

“Any game where I get to smack a bunch of balls with a stick is the game for me,” Karlach cackled, clearly proud of herself. Wyll rolled his eyes as he set up the table and you giggled quietly.

“We’ll go first to give you two a little advantage,” Karlach smirked, and sent the cue ball flying into the rack.

“Ladies first,” Astarion handed you a pool cue and bowed, gesturing at the table. Your eyes scanned for the best shot. Right as you found it, Astarion came up close behind you, his lips centimeters away from your ear.

“Go for the 3 ball into the corner pocket,” he breathed, putting his arms around you to help you aim the cue. Your heart pounded feeling him this close, his front flush against your back, his pretty silver curls tickling your neck. You struggled to keep your breath even and you tried to focus on the ball in front of you. You managed to snap out of it when it became clear that he wasn't helping you angle the cue correctly.

You looked over your shoulder at him and the spark in your eye was electrifying. Your muscles, previously lax and easily pliable, suddenly sprang to life as you took control of the cue. He heard the crack of the cue ball hitting the 3 ball before he saw it. He also felt the jab to his gut as you thrust the cue back in order to gain the necessary momentum to make the shot. He stepped back and coughed, holding his hand against his solar plexus. The pain was almost worth it when you spun around and covered your mouth with your hands, face growing a delicious shade of red.

The sudden horror of elbowing Astarion in the stomach filled your body with the heat of embarrassment, your eyes about to melt out of your head.

“I. Am. So. Sorry,” you managed to squeak out behind your hands. He was bent over slightly, but he still managed a weak smile.

“No, the mistake is mine for making an assumption,” he wheezed. You gnawed on your lower lip, anxiety coming off you in waves. Astarion straightened up and gently took your chin in his hand, tilting your face up to him.

“Just make sure we win,” he said in a silky tone that sent a shiver down your spine. You nodded dreamily, and he chucked his finger below your chin. 

Watching you play pool was something else. You were suddenly more confident than you had been all night - he knew the damsel facade was just an act. He relished in seeing you stalk around the table like a lioness circling her prey. Your eyes flitted across the table, making calculations, playing each scenario out in your mind. Astarion fancied himself a decent billiards player, but you were an artist at work. Even Karlach and Wyll’s banter died down as they struggled to figure out how to beat you.

But even better than witnessing your mastery at pool was simply watching you as you played. The slight imprint the cue made across your chest as you leaned into it, the way your dress sparkled every time you moved, the cheeky glimpse of your ass as you bent down to take a shot. 

He preened a little while he played, not so secretly hoping you were watching him as much as he was watching you. He may have put a little extra arch in his back, leaned back on his leg a little more than was necessary, just at the chance of seeing you flustered.

And fluster you it did. Not enough to throw you off your game - no, when it was time to take a shot, everything else fell away. But while you were waiting, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. Every time he bent over, scandalous images passed through your mind, deepening the flush in your cheeks. While Wyll and Karlach discussed a shot, you watched his fingers lightly run over the length of his cue, and you wondered what else those fingers could do. The thought made your heart race and Astarion turned to look at you, almost as if he could read your mind. Which you didn’t think he could do. He didn’t know any spells, to your knowledge, but you should really try to control your thoughts just to be safe. Though you weren’t sure if you could around him.

You came back to yourself just as Karlach celebrated sinking their last striped ball. She punched Wyll in the shoulder and he rubbed at it while her back was turned. He surveyed the table, tried for an angle to pocket the 8 ball, and missed.

You stepped up to the table, mapping out the geometry in your mind's eye. You found an angle that should work, and you leaned over to line up your shot. Astarion came up behind you, and you could feel him pressing into your backside.

“You've got this,” he whispered, and a shudder shot through your body. Enough to misalign your carefully lined shot. And you missed.

“Aww, tough break!” Karlach could barely contain her glee. “Looks like Pretty Boy got you distracted,” she added with a devilish grin. You looked at Astarion and then quickly looked away, trying to hide your blush.

“What can I say? I'm very distracting,” he retorted. “But you haven't won just yet. I still get a shot.”

“Oh boo, just take your shot, then, so we can win.” She stuck out her tongue at him.

You felt awful for missing, since you absolutely would have made you hadn't been so down bad for him. It's also not lost on you that if you win, he might want to celebrate…

You quietly cast guidance on him as he's lining up his shot. He bristles, then changes his angle ever so slightly. He tapped the cue ball which bounced against the 8 ball, knocking it into the side pocket. You and Astarion both shouted with joy. Karlach’s face fell while Wyll eyed you suspiciously. 

“What? No way, man, I can't believe you made it,” she pouted, crossing her arms across her broad chest. Astarion threw his arms around you and you pressed yourself into his chest, inhaling that intoxicating fragrance. You felt him vibrate with a low chuckle. You looked up at him without breaking the hug, and he whispered, “you cheeky little minx.”

You looked up at him with those doe eyes again, the feigned innocence back. He smirked and gently stroked your hair.

“Everyone, gather round, it's nearly midnight!” Shadowheart called out to the room. “Help yourselves to a toasting glass.”

Astarion led you to the tray of glasses and handed you one. 

“I never fancied you a cheater,” he murmured under his breath. You looked at him aghast, this one not quite as convincing.

“10!.. 9!..”

“I'm certain I have no idea what you mean,” you shyly glanced up at him through your lashes. He was certain you knew exactly what you were doing.

“8!.. 7!..”

“I don't know if there's anything strictly in the rules about using cantrips,” he mused, looking off to the side. You stepped a smidge closer.

“6!.. 5!..”

“Well either way, I enjoyed playing by your side.”

“4!.. 3!..”

“I just enjoyed being by your side,” his voice was low and cool, and your heart started pounding in your throat.

“2!.. 1!.. Happy New Year!!”

He pulled up your chin towards his, planting a tender kiss on your lips. He tasted sweet, the drink he made earlier still on his tongue. You clutched at his fine vest, aching to deepen the kiss. You knew this wasn't the time or the place, but you desperately craved more of him.

He swiped his tongue along your lower lip and pulled away, hovering a few centimeters away from your face.

“Happy New Year indeed,” he purred, and smiled, flashing two pointed incisors that you just barely caught out of the corner of your eye.

Fangs? Your heart thumped loudly against your chest, trying to escape in excitement.

Fangs.

[linskywords]

heyyyy I don't recall if you've ever mentioned using a beta for any of your fics, but can I ask you about your editing process? How you start it, how you do it, what sort of things are you are on high alert for, etc?

I'm 23k into my first hockeyrpf fic, which is kinda *out there* and I'm now grappling with "woah is this even intelligible to other fans" 😅

What a fun question!! First of all, congrats on being 23K in. That's so many Ks! It's such a fun fandom to write in, I'm glad you're joining the fun. 😄

I don't use a beta. I used to, but I'm too impatient for it -- I always want to edit my fics right away and get them out there. So I do my own editing. I don't know how useful this will be for you, since everyone's writing process is so different, but here's how mine works!

First, I write a complete draft. I'll sometimes backtrack if I realize I've taken a wrong turning, but otherwise, I try not to worry too much about quality in the draft. I write from start to finish because otherwise I can't hold onto where I am in the emotional arc. Getting to the end and having the tension resolve is a huge motivator for me.

Once I have a complete draft, I usually do a full editing pass. I save a copy and go back to the beginning and read through the whole thing, editing and rewriting as I go. It's actually impossible for me to read my own draft without editing, which is hugely inconvenient sometimes (e.g. if I step away for a bit and need to refresh myself on the story, it takes forever because I find myself editing as I reread).

A lot of what I edit for is rhythm. I can't quite accurately gauge the rhythm of a scene while I'm writing it, especially if the scene is a conversation; I need to give myself a little distance and then reread for that. I do a lot of adding lines and taking others away to make things flow the way I want them to. I especially watch for if a scene builds too fast and doesn't earn its level of intensity, or if a scene drags and can be trimmed.

Another big one is, am I overstating emotions? Sometimes this means I'm repeating myself, and sometimes it means I'm being too direct about angst etc. when it would be stronger to dial it back and let the reader extrapolate. A lot of times when I'm writing I put in lines that state very directly how the character is feeling, mostly as a way of figuring out what that is, but that's really for me and not the reader, so I take those parts out. Or sometimes I'll put in a line or a feeling and realize I want to use it later on, so it'll be in both places in the draft and I'll take out the earlier one in editing.

I guess the biggest question I'm asking myself when editing is, does this ring true? Anything that feels fake or forced or convoluted or disconnected or illogical gets edited out the best I can.

Other things I look for:

clunky sentences (so many)

using the same word more than once in close succession ("even" and "just" are big ones for me, as are "soft" and "warm" in any sex or romance scene)

using the same sentence structure too many times in a row (she typed a thing, her words wording <- my biggest offender)

having characters smile or grin or laugh too many times in close succession

places where it's not clear which "he" I'm talking about (down with epithets, just repeat the name or rephrase)

places where I use too many dialogue tags (confession, I use them way more often than I need to for intelligibility; I just like the rhythm, and "he says" is neutral enough to my ear that I don't mind the unnecessary usage)

continuity errors, often where I changed something in one place while writing and forgot to change it elsewhere

weird metaphors I thought would work but don't

Usually one pass is not enough, since I'll have rewritten so much that then needs to be edited again. Two editing passes is arguably not enough either, but it's usually the limit of what I'll do. Sometimes if a story is very tricky I'll do more, or if it's very straightforward I might stop at one. It's kind of a vicious cycle: if I reread my edits, I'll want to edit again, and there's no real stopping it without just deciding it's good enough and you can be done. This is one reason I often post in chapters, because it's easier to do this with a smaller chunk of story.

I think that's what I have off the top of my head. Happy to talk more about any aspect if you're curious. Good luck with your writing and editing!!

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE CHARACTER SONG Vol.5 Q.E.D. by Sakamaki Laito Mini Drama “The Secret Closet”

Original title: 秘密のクローゼット

Source: Diabolik Lovers CHARACTER SONG Vol. 5 Mini Drama

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Hirakawa Daisuke

Translator’s note: I read the title of this mini drama and immediately knew that my fate was sealed, lol. Although I have to say, I kind of expected it to be worse. Laito is kind of infamous for doing a lot of licking and such and those kind of sounds literally make my stomach turn but he only did it a few times and it was rather subtle rather than being this big ‘ol SLUUUUURP noise. Still, I think I would rather eat my own shoe than to be stuck in a cramped closet with Laito all day lol. But to each their own, I guess. :p I’m sure all of you Laito stans out there will enjoy this one.

*Knock knock knock*

...

*Knock knock knock*

“Nn...Nnh...”

You call out for him.

“I was wondering who it could be...But I recognize Bitch-chan’s voice...Nfu~ Correct?”

You tell him to get ready for school.

“Hmm~ Even if you say that, I’m not in the mood for school today.”

You voice your concern. 

“Eh...? I’m not feeling sick, not particularly at least. It’s just...”

Laito opens the door. 

“I just thought that it doesn’t hurt to skip school every once in a while to spend time frolicking around with you instead~ Just like this...See~?”

He licks you.

*Rustle*

“Hey, Bitch-chan...Can’t you  et me have this one day of fun? Unlike me, I doubt you have to worry about being held back a year. ...Well then, hurry up and step inside my room.”

You hesitate.

“Eeeh~? Geezー You’re always so cold...But I know you by now. Whenever you resist like that...”

*Rustle*

“You actually want me to use brute force, don’t you~? Nfu...~”

*Rustle*

“Just like this...Well then...Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“Nn...”

*Rustle*

“Nnh...Nn...”

You protest as you hear footsteps in the distance.

“Eh? Somebody’s coming this way? ...And what’s the issue with that?”

Laito continues to kiss you passionately.

“Nn...Mmh...I bet it’s Reiji or something. I imagine he’ll go on a tangent about being late for school agaiー Woah!”

You push him away.

*Thud*

“...Gosh, Bitch-chan, what has gotten into you all of a sudden?”

You explain.

“What’s so bad about being caught? If anything, we should put on a show. Ahー I get it, Bitch-chan! You’re in the mood for something a little more private today. That’s what you’re trying to say, right?”

*Rustle*

“In other words...You want us to have some quality time together as well, don’t you? I’m so happy to see you take initiative. Nfu~ I’ll grant that request of yours. Now, come here.”

Laito pulls you inside his room and locks the door.

...

“...Come on, this way~ Now, hurry up and get inside of here.”

*Rattle*

“Eh? What do you mean? Can’t you tell? It’s my closet. You’re the one who requested a private space, remember?”

You shake your head.

“Eh? You never alluded to anything like that? Fufu...Don’t say that now~ No need to get all embarrassedーー There!”

He pushes you inside.

“Well then...I suppose I’ll get inside as well.”

Laito joins you inside the closet.

*Rustle*

“Hm...Looking at it now, this closet is pretty cramped, isn’t it? On top of that...”

*Rustle rustle*

“It’s pitch-black because I closed the door. ...Bitch-chan~ Where are you~?”

You seem confused that he can’t see you.

“Just kidding! That doesn’t make sense now, does it? I can see everything, no matter how dark it is. ...Like how your ear is over here, for example.”

*Rustle*

“Or how your lips are right here. Mmh...”

*Smooch*

“And last but not least...Nn...”

*Smooch*

“I could see that dreamy look in your eyes as I licked your nape just now very clear as well~”

You ask him to leave the closet.

“Eh? You want to get out already? But why? Don’t you think the dark and lack of space only adds to the fun~?”

*Rustle*

“These clothes around us are a little in the way but well...It’s a closet, so I can’t really complain about that.”

*Rustle*

“There we go...”

You complain about his leg being in between your own.

“Eh? My leg? I mean, what other choice do I have? It’s super cramped in here...So I have to no other but to huddle even closer to you like this~”

Laito takes in your scent.

“Ah~ When I get this close to you, I can smell a wonderful fragrance coming from your nape~ It’s the scent of your sugary sweet blood driving me crazy...Haah...”

He bites you.

“Nn...”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

*Rustle rustle*

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“...Hah~ Aah...Bitch-chan...Let me suck more of your blood...Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Rustle rustle*

“...Nn...More...From a different spot this time...”

*Rustle* 

“Woah there...! ...Fufu, ah-ah~ How come you’re stumbling around all of a sudden? I haven’ even sucked that much of your blood yet, you know? Better be careful, okay? Fufu...I suppose I better wrap my arms around you nice and tight like this...”

*Rustle*

“So you don’t accidentally touch something which you shouldn’t. Nfu~”

You ask him if he has anything weird stashed away in this closet.

“Eh? You want to know what I’m keeping in here? I’m afraid I can’t tell you that so easily~ However...Right. If you’re that curious, I wouldn’t mind testing out a couple of my goodies on you sometime soon~”

You shake your head.

“Fufu...Oh well, whatever. Let us enjoy our time together right now. I mean, we even skipped school for this. ...So, what do you say, Bitch-chan~? Nnh...”

*Smooch*

“Mmh...Nn...”

*Smooch*

ーー THE END ーー

[tazlov]

Viridian Mercy: Chapter 4

It was about nighttime in local time when I landed the ship, while Veth was sleeping in her bunk bed. I was wide awake, though. My thoughts have been pretty scrambled lately.

She cares for me, but I don't know if it's just part of the job, or if it's something else. She has certainly impressed me so far, if that flare trick had anything to say about her performance. And she was small… I don't know. I guess I shouldn't get too deep into it. Who knows where that train of thought would take me.

“...Hi, Sam.” Veth stretched as she rolled out of bed in just her boxers. (She has no lady bits to speak of.) I tried my best not to stare.

“Morning, doc. Or, I guess, good evening.” I gestured to the front window, and Veth rubbed her eyes as she gazed outside. Please, just put a shirt on…

“Woah… where are we?” She seemed dazzled by the gentle lights and bioluminescent masses of flora outside. “Does it have an atmosphere?”

“A poisonous one, yeah.” I took this as an excuse to stop glancing at her, and looked up which planet this was on our star maps. “Welcome to the sleepy planet of Phasorium.”

“I've never been! Wanna check it out?” Veth grinned at me, and I couldn't stop myself from snickering.

“Sure. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Oh, gods, don't say that out loud.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled as she retreated from the co-pilot's seat, finally finding some clothes to slip on before her space suit.

I followed her in kind, finding a different helmet as my old one had been damaged, and zipped up my suit. I turned on my radio. “Check.”

“Check.” Veth replied, lowering her visor. Go time.

We stepped into the airlock, the air hissing as we depressurized, then stepped into luscious greens and blues, squishy moss and gorgeous trees. They reminded me of giant weeping willows from back home, decorated with little fairy lights.

You wouldn't be able to tell it was nighttime here—this place was brimming with natural light from everywhere. I looked to Veth, and she was absolutely starstruck. 

“What do you think?” I elbowed her.

“It's…” She whispered through the radio as she took everything in. “It's beautiful…”

“Let's check it out a bit. You got our ship's location?”

“Y… yeah. Yes.” She seemed to have a hard time focusing. She checked a small hologram of the planet's topography, finding the ship in the center.

“Cool. Let’s go.”

We ventured deeper into the teeming jungle, with the occasional skittish animal hissing at us before scrambling away. The way I saw it, you've seen one amazing planet, you've seen them all. It was clear to me, however, that Veth would disagree.

She kept wandering further away from me, and I would try to catch up as she examined trees and bushes, vines and floating seeds that glowed and pulsated when touched. It was a cacophony of color, with dark red moss quickly mingling with bright green roots. I had a hard time trying not to trip. Veth was much more nimble and graceful than I was.

“Woah, look!” She pointed ahead, and I peered over her shoulder. A clearing was in front of us, with a dark lake of some kind of fluid. Didn't know if it was water, but the plants seemed to like it. Roots of a variety of sizes climbed down onto the walls of the lake.

Curious, I stepped ahead and analyzed the fluid. Sure enough, it was water, with an additional quality of extra oxygen within it. “Huh.”

“Do you wanna go down there?” Veth shook my shoulders excitedly. 

“Hell no!” I was astonished at the audacity. “If you want to, be my guest. Just make sure to—wait!”

She was already dashing ahead. I nearly tackled her trying to stop her. I slapped a hook onto her back, for safety. “Okay, there. Rope's about 50 meters long. Gimme a tug if you need a quick escape.”

“Okay byeee!” And then she hopped into the lake, feet first, and disappeared into darkness.

I was sort of shocked at her excitement. And her courage. She didn't strike me as the kind of person to just hop into the unknown like that. I guess there was still a lot more about her I didn't know yet.

“Wow! Sam, it's so cool down here!” She called out over the radio. “There's crystals and stuff here!”

“That's cool.” I took a seat on the edge of the lake.

“Woah, and fish! Weird fish! Awesome!”

“Heh…” I couldn't help myself. She was adorable.

And then… eerie silence.

I waited for a minute or so. “Veth? How you doing down there?”

I didn't hear a reply. But I did feel a slight tugging on the rope. I took that as my cue to pull her out…

And the end of the rope was empty.

“Oh, shit. Veth!?” I crawled towards the edge of the lake, scanning through the murky depths. I was worried I would need to go down there without any help…

But then something vibrated the water, something big enough to cause ripples. I stared in stunned silence as Vethailet floated up, eyes staring at me in a way I had never seen her stare before.

Her helmet was gone.

“Veth!” I reached out my hand to grab her, but she swam further away. I just wanted to know if she was okay. Her helmet being gone worried me.

But as she raised her head further, her long hair tendrils wading in the water, she only smiled at me, clearly fake. In this atmosphere, I was expecting her to choke to death. I guess they meant something else when they said “poisonous.”

The air poisoned the mind.

“I want to stay here, Samantha.” Veth tilted her head as she waded. “It's so beautiful here…”

“Veth… I don't think you're thinking clearly right now.” I pushed myself closer, keeping my hand outstretched. “Let's get back to the ship. Get you some air.”

“I don't want to go back.” Her smile faded as she gently shook her head. 

“Doc, really. Quit fucking with me.” 

“I'm serious.” She looked worried. “Do you really want to take me away from this place?”

Oh, man. She was in deep. I wasn't sure what to do… my words were never my sharpest weapon.

“Wh-what's so bad about the ship? About Viridian?” I laughed a little, nervously. She caught that.

“You.”

“What?”

“You hate me, don't you, Samantha?” Veth became shy, dipping half of her head underwater. I could still hear her speak. “You would have left me to die, on that Hauler.”

“What are you talking about? Dude, you're fine!”

“You hate me…”

“I-I don't hate you!” I was shocked at the accusation. “What makes you think I hate you?”

“The way you look away from me…” She stared at the ground, mimicking the way I've avoided her gaze in the past. “...The way you talk…”

“I… listen, Veth. I'm just kinda rough around the edges.” Self-reflection was also not a very good skill of mine. “I don't mean to be rude to you. I like you!”

“...You do?” Veth looked up at me with those… those eyes… they seemed glazed over and unfocused.

“Yes, of course I do! I mean… I don't like like you, but—”

“You hate me…”

“No! God damnit…” I tapped my fists together against my helmet, trying to think. She was forcing my hand. I had to be… genuine.

“Listen to me, Veth.” I put my hands down, against the edge of the lake. “Really, listen. I think you're great. You're smart, you care for other people, you’re tougher than you look… and I admire that.”

“...Really?” Veth tilted her head. Those eyes…

“Yes, really.” I hoped to God that this was working. “I like how you still love things. You think this planet is gorgeous, and that's great. You love that weird music you showed me the other day…”

“Yeah…” Veth smiled, unfocused, wavering. She swam a little closer. 

I stretched my hand out one more time. “...I think you're amazing, in more ways than one. And maybe I can try to be better about how I show that.”

“...Okay…” She approached me, finally, and I tried to be as gentle as I could, for fear of scaring her back into the depths.

“...Alright.” I reached for one of my rescue masks, and carefully placed it around her head. “Just take it easy…”

“W-wait—”

“No, it's okay…”

She struggled against me, but I was stronger than her, so she was forced to stay put as I started a line of proper oxygen. She coughed as it administered, writhing in my grip, then finally relaxed.

“Alright. There you go.” I pulled away now, but then jumped as she started collapsing. I caught her before she landed, and scooped her up while making sure the mask stayed put.

Well… better than losing her for good. 

It was about time we headed back, I figured. So I carried her as carefully as I could back to the ship.

The ship's airlock did its thing, and I was finally able to place her back onto her bed before stripping my suit. 

That was maybe one of the worst experiences I've ever had. I thought she was a goner for sure… I thought I didn't have it in me to try. But I did. And she's okay. I glanced back at her, out cold and still masked up, so I carefully slid it off of her face.

I looked at her for a little longer than I'd care to admit… hesitating. Thinking about all the things I had said. 

What scared me most, was every bit of it was the truth.

I looked down now, throwing the mask and its line of oxygen to where my suit was. 

Man, I needed a drink.

[hinataoc]

I’m so excited to have the chance to share my full story for the @destinytriofanzine!

It was a lovely project to be part of with incredible and talented creators for every page. The leftover sales are open right now and if you love the Destiny Trio make sure to check it out! 

For my piece, I wanted to focus on how their friendship has evolved over the years, but also all the ways it has stayed the same. We didn’t get much of them together in Kingdom Hearts 3, so I had a mighty need to see them all having quality time again. 

So without further ado, here is my fic!

The Good Ole Days

Words: 2193

------------------------------

Flower petals danced on the warm evening breeze. Sora inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet subtle aroma. His fingers laced behind his head, a lazy smile curving his mouth, as he descended the stone stairs leading into the garden courtyard. Radiant Garden’s castle towered behind him. Its copper adornments shimmered in the light of the setting sun, reflecting rainbows across the courtyard below where a very familiar gummiship sat awaiting its crew.   

“Tomorrow’s finally the day,” Riku said, catching Sora’s attention. 

Sora peeked over his shoulder at his best friend just a few steps behind, his smile growing. Looking back out over the garden he nodded. “After all this time, it’s really—” his words cut off with a large yawn. 

Riku scoffed. “You better not be falling asleep on the job.” He caught up to Sora and nudged him with his shoulder. 

“Woah!” Sora stumbled, nearly losing his footing on the edge of a stair. “Hey, watch it!” he scolded with a laugh. “Do you want me to fall?”

“Will it keep you awake?” Riku asked, jumping back when Sora swatted at him. “Hey! Take your own advice.”  

“Are you two done?” Kairi called out to them, poking her head out from the gummiship. Despite her arched brow, she couldn’t hide the amusement in her eyes. 

“Kairi!” Sora waved with a grin before running down the rest of the stairs. “We were wondering where you went off to.”

“Unlike the two of you, I’ve been busy,” she teased. 

Sora’s nose scrunched up in just a way that Kairi couldn’t help but snicker. He crossed his arms and asked,  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Instead of replying, Kairi giggled and went back into the gummi ship. Sora followed. He ducked under the low entryway, the metal floor clunking under his feet. Entering the cockpit, he took a deep whiff of the familiar smell: grease along with a tinge of sea salt from the palm tree air freshener hung over the back of Kairi’s seat in the cockpit. The scents married together oddly well, like a mixture of two places that reminded Sora of home.     

Sora’s shoulders relaxed and he lowered into his seat with a wistful sigh, closing his eyes. A heavier set of feet rattled the metal floor and Sora instantly smirked.

“Sora,” Riku groaned, but Sora could hear the smile in his voice without even having to see it. “Didn’t I just say to not fall asleep?”

Sora stretched in an exaggerated way, making Kairi laugh and Riku roll his eyes. “I’m not! I’m just… resting until Kairi tells us what to do.”

“You know me too well,” Kairi said, holding out a piece of paper that tickled Sora’s cheek. 

He opened one eye and grabbed the paper, seeing a list of supplies scribbled over it. 

“I made a list of everything we should need for the trip,” Kairi explained, handing another list to Riku. “I gathered everything for my part, so now it’s up to both of you to get everything else and bring it back here.”

Riku mumbled, reading off the list, then asked, “Do we really need”—he double checked the list, —“lilium bulbs?”

“Mhm.” Kairi nodded. “Princess Rapunzel requested them. And she needs them fresh, so no slacking off.”

Sora laughed. “You don’t have to worry about that Kairi. Riku and I will have”—he squinted as he read off the list—“Niblet hairballs…?” He paused and sat up. “Huh, actually Kairi, I’m with Riku.” He scratched the side of his head. “I don’t even know where to find that.”

With a giggle, Kairi told them, “You’re just going to have to trust me. According to Little Chef, those hairballs help make a special spice. But if you guys don’t want to do it, I can handle it myself.” 

She reached over to grab the list from Riku, but he lifted it out of her reach. “Don’t worry, we’ve got it. I almost forgot how everyone wants Sora to run their errands when he goes on a mission.”

“They don’t do that to you guys?” Sora asked.

Kairi chuckled. “Only because we don’t tell everyone when we’re going somewhere.”

“Yeah, you tell everyone who’ll listen, so of course you get roped into things,” Riku explained, sighing and rubbing the back of his neck. “Which ropes us into it too, now that we’re going on missions together.”

“Oh, sorry ‘bout that,” Sora sheepishly apologized.

“It’s fine.” Riku ruffled Sora’s hair as he went past, snickering at Sora sputtering and swatting him away. “I’ll be back in a bit.” He held up the list and slightly shook it. “So will Sora, at least, if he can stay awake long enough to finish before tomorrow.”

Sora smirked and jumped up, his hands firmly on his hips. “Say that again!”

Kairi’s laugh cut between them as she snuck past and went to the entryway of the gummi ship. “I know a way to make sure he stays awake.” She paused for dramatic effect, then put up her hand above her head. “A race!”

“Yeah!” Sora bunched his hands into fists. 

“What?” Riku rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think we’re a little—”

“Ready?” Kairi continued on regardless. “Set…” She looked between the boys. Riku feigned indifference, but he put the list in his pocket and inched closer to the exit of the ship. Sora bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning in anticipation. Kairi matched his grin and jumped out of the way of the entryway. “Go!”

The boys burst out of the gummi ship, shoving and clambering to get in front of the other. Kairi’s laughter faded behind them as they disappeared into the town. Sora skidded around a corner and took a moment to look over the list. Glowing particles rained around him, dissipating with sparkles when they landed on the paper. Sora’s expression scrunched until he looked up and saw Riku jumping from building to building, magic swirling around him. 

“Hey!” Sora called after him, his hand cupped around his mouth. “That’s cheating!”

“Can’t hear you, too busy winning!” Riku’s voice echoed back. 

Sora snorted, a grin cracking across his face. “Alright then, you asked for it!” 

Getting a running start, Sora jumped and hung off a brick wall. The cool rough texture tickled his hands just for a moment before the rush of magic burst around him. His adrenaline ignited with a thrill of shivers. Sora released an even breath and pushed his feet off the brick, vaulting into a flip and landing in a standing position against a tall building just across the way. He ran straight up the wall, taking a moment to wave at a little girl watching him through the window with big eyes and a slack jaw. 

He gripped the edge of the rooftop and flipped himself onto it. Looking out into the town, he spotted Riku not too far off, nearly in the marketplace. Without wasting time, Sora got a running start and leapt off the roof. His magic surged, brightening around him and making him seemingly weightless. He flew into the market and landed in the center square with a roll. A few townsfolk gasped, but many were used to the antics of Keybladers coming in and out of Radiant Garden by now. Sora smiled and apologized for the surprise, but quickly disappeared into a shop before he was questioned. A bell chimed along with the door swinging open. Sora scoured the shelves, mumbling about what he needed. He went through aisle after aisle, all the while mentally reminding himself at how far ahead Riku likely already was. Minutes passed; Sora wasn't sure how many, but it seemed like ages.

With a groan, Sora leaned his head against a shelf. “Ahg, it’s hopeless.”

“Looking for this?” Riku asked from behind. 

Sora spun around, his face scrunching in feigned dismay before Riku casually tossed over the bag of various snacks. He scrambled to catch it, but managed. “How—”

“You were mumbling again.” Kairi peeked around the aisle.

“Kairi?” Sora asked. “What are you doing here?”

Linking her hands behind her back, Kairi walked further into the aisle. “Weeeell, I got bored waiting, and you two were taking too long. So I decided to come look for you guys!”

“Then I spotted her in the courtyard and we found you here,” Riku finished explaining. “How many things you got left?” His calm demeanor cracked into a snort of laughter when Sora blankly stared back at him. “I’ll take that as everything.” 

“No, I, well—” Sora scrambled for a comeback, before chuckling along with Riku and ruffling the back of his hair. “Donald usually handled the shopping.”

Riku huffed an amused breath while Kairi stifled a laugh. 

“Come on”—Kairi walked backwards, then spun on her heel to lead the way—”we’ll finish it together.”

Sora looked down at the bag of snacks in one hand, then to the supply list in the other. “Sure, but… what about the race?”

“I have most of my stuff already back at the gummi ship.” Riku shrugged, then smirked. “But if still doing the race means that much to you, I guess I could automatically win.”

 “Yeah, I guess we are a bit old to be racing, huh?” Sora pointed out, getting laughs in response. “Did you really get everything on your list already?”

“Most of it,” Riku replied. “Just the weird items left.”

“Then it’s a good thing I came along.” Kairi grinned over her shoulder as they settled in the checkout line.

“I’m glad you did,” Riku admitted. “I felt a bit bad leaving you on the ship anyway.” He chuckled as Kairi bumped him with her hip. “Don’t push it.”

“Me too,” Sora sighed, but quickly perked up as he held up the list. “But working together, getting all this stuff will be a breeze! Kairi with the know-how, Riku with the navigation, and me with the… uh…”

“Sweet optimism?” Kairi asked.

“Yeah,” Sora agreed with a laugh. “I have no idea where to find most of this stuff on my own.”  

“Obviously.” Riku grabbed the bag of snacks from Sora’s hand and handed it to the clerk.

“Let’s drop this off at the ship and then maybe we can pick up some dinner.” Kairi tapped her finger to her chin.

Riku waved politely to the clerk as they turned to leave. “Weren’t you the one that told us we needed to focus on getting the shopping done before anything else?”

“Hmm, I don’t recall,” she replied with a cheeky smile. 

“Aw come on Riku, we can take a break!” Sora pushed open the shop’s door, his fingers laced behind his head. “Buuut I guess if we wanna be quick we could race back to the ship?”

“Yeah!” Kairi jumped in agreement.

Riku scoffed, walking past, seemingly uninterested. As he stepped out onto the sidewalk, a surge of magic shimmered around him and he jumped away before the others had even left the door. “Last one there has to pay for everyone’s dinner!”

“Riku!” Kairi scolded, running after him.

“Wha- hey, wait!” Sora yelled, his voice riddled with laughter before he too jumped into action behind Kairi. 

They were all neck and neck, bouncing between buildings and ziplining across clotheslines hung in alleyways. It wasn’t long before they saw the gummiship still stationed in the garden courtyard, golden light glowing from the entryway.

Sora vaulted off a rooftop and glided over, Riku just behind. He nearly reached the courtyard, his hand reaching out for the ship, when a sudden weight hefted on top of him. With a yelp, Sora fell to the ground. He sputtered amidst the erupting laughter and groans from Kairi and Riku. Looking over his shoulder, he realized Kairi had him and Riku both pinned down. 

“Kairi, what the heck?” Riku asked.

With a giggle, Kairi lifted her hand and tapped the gummi ship. “I win.”

Sora and Riku stared at her, then at each other, before all three of them bubbled into a fit of laughter. They untangled themselves to lie on their backs and gaze up at the emerging stars. Their amusement simmered, their breaths filling the air along with the occasional cricket chirping amongst the flowers.

“Some things never change,” Riku said after a while. “Do they?” 

“Yeah,” Sora agreed. 

“I like it.” Kairi clasped her hands over her heart. “After everything, sometimes I worried what it would be like… being together again, a trio of friends. Especially with our first mission together. Would we still be comfortable with each other? Would our inside jokes and memories still matter? And… after tonight, I think I know they do.”

“I think you’re right.” Riku looked towards their gummiship with a fond smile. 

“Even after all this time, we’re still the three kids wanting to find another world,” Sora said, gazing towards the stars with a rare melancholy voice.

“Well then”—Kairi sat up—“we’d better get dinner and finish gathering supplies before it gets too late. We have a big day tomorrow.”   

Sharing smiles between them, the three friends ventured back into town, preparing for their new adventure. Together.  

[flowers-for-em]

im back 💋

5

 Amaryllis

I make myself comfortable in the passenger seat of Maximilien’s black McLaren. He starts the ignition and revs out of the parking lot smoothly. 

“So,” I start. 

He doesn’t react, waiting for me to properly start the conversation.

In a joking tone, I ask, “This isn’t a kidnapping, right?” 

“You’re not someone I would wish to kidnap,” he replied drily.

“Thank you? Is that meant to be a compliment? I’ll take it as one. But seriously though, where’re we going?” 

“Another studio. I’ve got some pieces I need to see fitted onto a live model.”

“And why me?”

“You’re convenient.” 

“Ouch,” I place a hand over my chest. “And I’m pretty?”

He doesn’t reply. “And my father doesn’t want to see these pieces.”

“Now I’m scared of whatever monstrosity you’re going to put me in.”

“You have no reason to worry your pretty little head over that kind of thing.”

I give him a smile. “You said I’m pretty.” 

“You don’t need me to tell you that. I’m sure you’re already well aware.” Our eyes meet in the rearview mirror and I hold his gaze until he turns it back to the road. He scrunches his nose. 

I purse my lips and look out of the window. “Why doesn’t Marcel wanna see these pieces?”

Maximilien’s silent for a while. Then he replies, “I suppose he just doesn’t like them. He’s stubbornly opposed to my designs for Pierre Rousseau. I’m supposed to take over as creative director for Pierre Rousseau after he resigns, but I doubt he’s going to resign at all if he’s so against my designs.”

“Woah, okay, firstly? I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say in one go-”

“Only because you didn’t interrupt me.” 

I raise an eyebrow. “Secondly, your designs are either that bad or that different from the brand.”

“Or my father just dislikes me a lot. None of my ideas were even considered when curating this coming season’s collection. If he doesn’t want to even listen to a small tweak I want to make to a skirt, what makes you think he wants to see an entire collection of my designs?” Maximilien pauses to sneeze into his elbow. “Excuse me.”

“You sneeze a lot.”

“…Summer allergies.”

“Right.” I return my gaze to the window, watching New York pass by in the slow pace of the traffic. 

When he said studio, I expected an atelier in another skyscraper. Instead, we pull up to an apartment. 

“You live here?” I ask as we take the lift up. 

“No, this is just my studio.”

He unlocks the door. Inside the apartment is exactly like the atelier, except that it’s a bit messier. But all the equipment and furniture is white as well, with splashes of color from the materials. 

I gasp when I see the mannequins dressed in bold numbers against an entire wall. Another wall is covered completely in clothing racks. Sure, it may be a very different approach from Pierre Rousseau, but they have an outstanding quality and style  altogether. 

Tracing a light finger over the detailed edge of a bustier, I turn to Maximilien. “These are amazing.” 

“You’re just saying that.” He takes off his blazer jacket and drapes it over a chair, loosening his tie and undoing the top two buttons. I try my best not to notice the way the fabric of his shirt clings to his toned biceps. 

“You think I would compliment you just like that?” I scoff, “Please.”

“You’re hilarious.”

Despite his sarcastic tone, I smile sweetly at him. “I know.” 

“Okay, well.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re not here to provide me with your painful lack of comedic skills, you’re here to model designs, and you can’t do that fully clothed.”

Maximilien

Amaryllis blushes. Sparkly eyed and pink cheeked like some sort of cartoon character. 

“Aren’t you at least going to turn around?” she questions, stepping out of her heels. 

“Fine.” I walk over to the open kitchen, stepping out of the range of her perfume. I swear I still have a headache from sitting in the car next to her strong scent for almost half an hour. “Would you like a glass of water?”

“As long as it isn’t poisoned.” 

“I don’t see what use a dead model would be to me.” 

There’s the sound of clothes rustling, and when I turn around to place her glass of water on the counter, she’s almost completely naked with her long arms crossed over her chest. While she downs the glass of water, I let my eyes wander appreciatively over her. She’s a pretty canvas. 

She trails her hands from the side of her ribs down to her hips, doe eyed innocence as she smiles at me. I know better than to be fooled, pulling my gaze away and walking over to the racks of clothing. I can’t keep her here for too long, so I’ll only be able to get here to wear a few of the designs. 

I pick out a dress that turns into different shades of blue under different lighting, unhooking it from the hanger and handing it to her. Amaryllis unzips the dress and steps into it, and I zip her into it from the back. 

She turns to face the mirror positioned in the corner of the room, gasping and smoothing her hands over the bodice. “Ooh, I love!”

“Yeah? It looks great on you. Walk for me.” 

She tosses her hair as she walks from one end of the house to the other, and I watch as the dress shimmers under the sunlight streaming through the windows. Making a dress and wearing it on a stationary mannequin is one thing, but seeing it in motion is a whole other. 

“What’s it made of? I’ve never seen a dress like this before,” she muses, returning to the mirror. 

“Photochromic dyescreate. It was such a tough material to source and use.” 

She does a little spin in the dress, and I watch as the light reflects off the dress and makes it look like the ocean. “Is there any way I can buy this off you?”

“Nope,” I shake my head once. “None of these are for sale.” 

I can hear the sharp breath she takes in and see the way her already good posture straightens even more when my fingers brush over her back and I unzip the dress. 

I’ve worked with so many different models before, dammit, I’ve even seen some of them completely nude, but something about Amaryllis is different. Honestly, I never really saw female bodies as anything more than moving mannequins before. But her, with her loud, cocky, show-off attitude, demands attention. 

I hand her the next number, sneezing when she gets too close to me. That damn vanilla perfume. I don’t get how anyone stands it. 

The dress is a gauzy, pink piece that looks like it’s just been draped over the body, when it’s actually held together by a thin layer of skin colored tulle. She steps into the dress, her eyebrows raising when she catches her reflection in the mirror. 

I frown. “Let me get some pins.”

“On this material? You’ll ruin it.”

“I made it, I know what would ruin it. I just want to see it fit nicely.” I find a box of pins under scraps of fabric. Standing behind her, I pinch up a little section of the dress until it hugs her slim waist the way it’s supposed to. 

“Ow!” she winces when I slide the pin in. “You poked me.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” I scold with a shake of my head. She’s obnoxious. 

“You stabbed me with a safety pin.” 

“I did not stab you, and it was an accident.” I secure the pin on the small of her back, tightening the material. 

She rolls her eyes. “Come on.”

“Come on what? Walk.”

“Say sorry first, Maximilien.” 

My brows crease at her. She places her hands on her hips, looking at me through the mirror. I sigh. “I’m sorry for poking you with the pin, but if you keep this up, I won’t apologize the next time I purposely stab you with one.” 

“You were the one who wanted me here. If you’re getting annoyed, it’s all on you.” 

She struts down the little space of the apartment, the dress making her look like a princess. It’s like Cinderella’s ruined dress, but pretty. 

“The craftsmanship is incredible. Your dad must be crazy not wanting this in the collection. See, maybe add some flowers here”—she gestures to the side of her hip—“boom. Spring collection finale. Okay, maybe not finale, but you get the point.” 

“You talk too much.” I grab her by the waist, pulling her in front of me before fussing with the loose material around her hips. 

“I’m just trying to compliment you! Plus, you have too many opinions on me that I didn’t ask for,” she retorts, a hand on my shoulder to steady herself.

“You have too many opinions on everything. Instead of sewing dresses maybe I should sew your mouth shut.”

That earns me a teasing swat on the side of my head, only making me chuckle. 

“You are the most ass guy I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of guys,” she huffs. 

I stand back, still frowning at the dress. “Whatever. Take that off.”

With another stubborn little huff, she carefully steps out of the dress. 

OMG OMG AHHHHHHHHH

IM IN LOVE ITS SO GOOD!!!

[honeybeewhereartthee]

Gifts

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

-Mayoi Ayase

You love to give gifts to people who are close to you. In special occasion or out of the blue. Almost a your gifts are made by you and you just want to share your works to others who might enjoy it.

That being said your most frequent receiver of your gifts would have no space to store those gift anymore, even how many secret rooms es might have.

"mayoi~ I sewn you some scarf~" you run toward the said idol who froze on his step to turn to look at your gleeful self.

He become quite enchanted by your happy atmosphere he smiled back at you in response as you skip to his side and happily put the scarf around his neck and tip toe to kiss his cheeks causing him to blush madly.

"T-thank you for the scarf... But someone as I really that worthy of your gifts?" He tearfully says as his overwhelmed with your love, effort and care.

" of course! Your very worthy!" You hug him while smiling widely. " Because everyone even you are worthy of gifts and I love you~" you says which made him to even more enamoured and Captivated by you~

"M-MC-- I love you too..." He happy hugs you back with a grin. He even spin you around in happiness and you giggle enjoying it.

Bonus:

"agh... what's up with this love birds disgusting sweet, so early in the morning" Aira who almost throw up his juice comment almost inaudible in the sideline as his being blinded and bitten by ants from the sweetness of the two of you and mayoi. Yet his happy for his friend that he have someone like you for him.

Aira Shiratori

"ai~ai~" you called the idol who is browsing through his phone for news about his favorite idols.

"Yes mcchi?" He look up from his phone to look up to you. "Can I seat here?" You ask first. "Yes~" he nodded.

You went to seat in front of him and put the box containing items you made. He look at the box in curious but his eyes widen as he saw you take out merchandise of his unit and his favorite unit. Merchandise he don't saw from official forum or from shops he always stalks for new stocks.

"w-woah... WHERE DID YOU BUY THOSE?" his sparkle eyes look at all the item. "I-is this a alkaloid dolls from vermillion live? Uwahhh! How unfair! I never heard of this being sold! tell me where you buy!" He almost crying as he shakes you for answers. He want to buy those items too!

"sowwy those items aren't in stocks to be brought. They are one of the kind." You made those without thought of selling them to begin with. The idol simp felt the world crash when he heard your words. "H-how unfortunate! Those are good merchandise too! I wanna cry...*hic." He cried pitiful in the table. He thought he can finally add a new collection to his shrine.

"yes they are good quality merchandise!" You nodded your head in agreement. You did use good quality product to make those. You then push the box to his side.

"here you go."

"*sob. Eh.. are you lending those to me to comfort me? I wanna own one myself... Hic... It's not the same..." He look at you with glassy eyes. "Lol. Those are for you. I made those for you. I'm not lending them since your the right owner for those--"

"UWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! REALLY? HOW L-O-V-E-L-Y! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MC!!" he almost sweep to the table to hugs you happily as he realize those items are for him. You giggle as you pat aira head who smiling brightly now as he realize it's his.

"I love you too~"

"ehh... L-like like love?.... Oh... " You nodded at his question. He seems to process what just happened.

"Uwahh.. so many good events! I love you toooo~ ~ oh wait I already said that! But love like love!" He confess back. He fwkr overwhelming happy be even forget about his merchandise as he properly seat beside you and hugs you. Giggling so happily.

Hiiro Amagi

While walking back to the dorms, hiiro and you went to drop by the local barbeque place to eat some barbeque. The alkaloid leader forget that his unit is in the tight spot as you two happily eat away in the store.

"food in the cities are great!" He commented as he chomp on very juicy steaks that he order in the side while he flip some meat in the grill.

"We don't have barbeque or steaks back in my hometown." He tells you as he serve you a perfectly grilled meat.

"Here you go MC! Cook in both side!" He happily says.

"thank you hiiro~" you giggle as you accept the food. Eating it while listening to the stories of hiiro's hometown and childhood with his older brother seems like a good way to pass time.

"oh no. I forget I can't buy anything! Aira going to yell at me if I suddenly put a loan in the unit bank..." He says as you both are in the counter to pay.

"Don't worry I'll treat you this time around and I know that from the start anyway." You paid for the meal and hiiro look at you oddly.

He was silent till you guys went out of the barbeque grill house.

"MC, your so nice to me. I remember you always treat me in the canteen too." He mumble as the two for you walk back. He looks at you and you look up to him.

"Hmm? Is that a bad thing ? I like to enjoy food with someone who won't worry much with their diet. And stuff." Your a foodie but since your working with idols who worry about their weight.

Only some would go out and have some nice food trip with you but almost all your friends have busy schedule those days as idols.

"I see..." He thought about something. "Don't worry mc! If you like eating. I can always cook for you as a thanks! I cant be compare to Shiina-san but as long there's instruction and recipes, I can make it for you every day!" He says.

"really? Then I can't wait for you to cook for me then... I'll buy the ingredients since the old building won't have those equip." You says.

You and hiiro happily plan what to do the next time you both free to eat together.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

A/N: just a cute fluff and stuff. Sowwy no tatsumi for now. I'll make a separate one for him.

[phantom-does-a-thing]

hmmmmm ashe giving the boys friendship bracelets. im still insane over that concept btw

The words possessed me. Oops.

Ashe pawed at the collar of his shirt, tugging it away from his throat as he tentatively crossed the room to his bed with shaking knees, trying to hide the way that he trembled by stuffing his hands in his pockets. It must have looked a bit awkward though because then he quickly had to take his hands back out of his pockets so that he could crouch down on his hands and knees to grab the worn-out shoe box from underneath his bed.

He could feel the others watching him with curious gazes and he pretended as if the feeling of eyes skittering across his form didn’t make him want to recoil and hide. His heart practically leaped up to his throat, pounding so hard against his ribs that he was afraid that it was going to burst.

“Here…” Ashe muttered, unsure if the others could even hear him from the other side of the room. He pulled the shoebox out from underneath his bed and sat with his legs crossed in front of himself as he fearfully extended the box out to them, pulling the lid off it. “You guys can take whatever you want.”

Dakota stepped forward first, excitement and curiosity flickering in his amber irises. He dropped down to the floor where Ashe was sitting (too scared to stand up to actually offer it to them) and crawled forward.

“Woah!” Dakota exclaimed, eyes widening to the size of saucers as he spotted the items inside, “did you make all these?”

Ashe swallowed thickly and looked away shyly, “yeah… I had a lot of time…”

Bracelets. Friendship bracelets of all lengths and colors, even intricate designs that Ashe had tried to do (some turned out better than others). Even though to Ashe they were just bracelets. Considering he had never actually had friends before. No one to receive the carefully made jewelry, the beads, the charms, the woven strings. No one to match with or to share, no one for Ashe to perfectly fit so that the sizing wouldn’t be off. Just a lot of time on his hands.

A lot of time spent being lonely and bored and trying to find something to do. A lot of sore fingers and tense wrists. A lot of time for him to imagine a different life where he actually had someone to connect with, someone that he could make a bracelet for.

“That’s… wow…” It was William that stepped forward next, a bit more hesitantly. He curled his hands in front of himself and tilted his head to the side, looking over Dakota’s shoulder and hesitating before he eased himself to the ground. He winced slightly and tried to curl in on himself, pressing the heel of his palm against his hip as he settled against Dakota’s side, using him as support.

Vyncent followed now that he was the only one standing, a bit confused by the entire exchange, his ears twitching back and forth with every little sound around the house. His tail flicked and he curled up on the other side of Dakota to peer into the shoe box.

“You can pick whatever you want,” Ashe repeated, nudging the box towards the two of them and curling his arms around his stomach.

“What is it?” Vyncent asked, sliding a tongue over his lips.

“They’re bracelets,” Ashe chewed on the inside of his mouth and reached into the box to pick up one of the bracelets. They hadn’t been tied so they just looked like woven string, but he curled it around his own wrist just to show Vyncent what he meant. He didn’t tie it or anything, it wasn’t really like Ashe wore bracelets often. He just liked to make them.

“We can really have one?” Dakota asked, looking up at Ashe like he had just offered him a million dollars (and not a crappy string bracelet of questionable quality).

“You can have multiple if you want… I have a lot,” Ashe sifted through the box just a bit, curling his fingers around the different colored bracelets and picking them up as if to show them off shyly.

Dakota beamed, his entire face splitting into a massive grin as he began to dig through the box of bracelets. Ashe tried to hide the way his face flushed a dark pink at the good reception. They didn’t think it was weird? At least not at first. They probably would if Ashe explained his thought process behind them. So he wasn’t going to do that.

Vyncent picked out the purple bracelets, ones that Ashe had woven with pastels and dark-colored string. He didn’t seem to entirely understand the concept, but he enjoyed it nonetheless, asking Ashe to help tie it around his wrist (which Ashe did so with shaking fingers).

William found a blue bracelet that he liked, twisting it between his fingers as if he were unsure, constantly glancing back and forth between his hands and the box of bracelets in front of them. It looked like he wanted to pick another, but he didn’t, keeping the one that he had claimed and feeling the texture of the string against his palm. Ashe tied it around his wrist so that he could slip it on and off with ease.

Dakota on the other hand… He picked the most. All the bright colors that he could find, reds, oranges, and yellows. As if he had picked out all the colors of the sunrise to match his energy. He rocked back and forth from where he was sitting, excited about the entire process and constantly looking over at each of them individually, chatting about how cool it was (how cool Ashe was).

And Ashe trembled as he helped Dakota tie the bracelets around his arm. He tried to hide the way tears seemed to be trying to squeeze past his eyelids and run down his face (even though he was sure that the others could see his watery eyes). Dakota beamed, twisting his wrists back and forth to admire the woven strands, the patterns that Ashe had knotted, or the colors that he had chosen for specific bracelets.

“You gotta pick one now,” Dakota insisted, leaning forward with his palms pressed against the floor, “so we can match.”

“What?” Ashe blanked, his eyes widening ever so slightly as he stared at Dakota as if he had grown a second head.

“You don’t wear any bracelets,” Dakota pointed to Ashe’s hands, then back to the box of bracelets, “and you made all these. So you gotta pick one so we can match!”

“Oh…” Ashe opened his mouth, then closed it again, “I…”

He didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t know how to respond to a sentiment like that. It made sense though. Ashe supposed that he understood where Dakota was coming from. But in a sense, it almost felt… wrong.

He had never had a friend to share his bracelets with before (and now he had three), the thought of wearing the bracelets had never even crossed his mind. And yet Dakota was telling him to choose one. Why was his mind going blank?

“Can you… pick one for me?” Ashe practically whispered, staring at Dakota with wide eyes, “I don’t know what to choose.”

Dakota’s expression shifted and his grin seemed to get wider. He didn’t seem weirded out by the suggestion or the request but was happy that Ashe was at least following along with what Dakota had suggested.

Immediately, Dakota dove back into the box of bracelets, searching for one for Ashe to wear. He curled his fingers around the edge of the cardboard, eyebrows furrowed with an intense focus.

“Here, hold your arm out,” Dakota said, curling his hand around one of the bracelets so that Ashe was unable to see the one he picked. Ashe nodded faintly and rolled up his sleeve to hold his wrist out to Dakota.

A bright red and orange bracelet was placed against the bony part of his wrist, slightly digging into his skin as Dakota struggled to tie the excess string into a knot. The color completely contrasted most of the things that Ashe wore, it wasn’t even his favorite color by all means. The stripey pattern was a bit twisted halfway through as Ashe had messed up with the tension of the knots and the shades switched halfway through.

And yet. It matched the ones that Dakota had picked out. It stuck out against everything that Ashe wore, all the other jewelry that he had, and even the shirt that he wore. It was a striking contrast, one that he was sure looked a bit silly.

But Dakota had picked it out for him. Maybe the color was intentional, maybe not. Even so, as Dakota tied it around his wrist, Ashe had to bring his other hand to his face to hide his tears, he had come this far without crying. How could he possibly break now when he had finally gotten the one thing that he had dreamed about for years?

He never wore the bracelets he made because he never had anyone to tie the strings for him. And Ashe had never been able to do it on his own. They sat, unused in a shoe box underneath his bed because he had no one. No one was there to sit with him, for him to make bracelets for or to tie around their wrist. No one to do the same for him.

And yet here he was with Dakota tying the brightest colored bracelet that he could find around Ashe’s left wrist.

It was everything that Ashe could have dreamed about and more.

[bookshavefeelings]

Midnight Reign, Ch.1 (part 2)

————————-  INT. CAMPUS

A GROUP OF STUDENTS, 18 to 25, with their laptops open, are seated in rows as they wait patently in the classroom. The PROFESSOR, 42, with a visible beard, wears a plaid vest and trousers, is writing mathematical equations on the whiteboard. Dylan is seated by himself, rapidly writing in his notebook. A scar is visible on his hand as he writes.

————————— EXT. CAMPUS 

Outside the campus steps of the campus library, the eery dark night shadows the campus, only the moon sits still illuminating vague light. The campus night lights are dim. Dylan is met with Mason, walk side by side down the steps.

MASON

So here's what I heard. Gene said they are college girls -

college girls right next to us ! We hit the gold mine!

Girls! Next to us! We should invite them over! What do you think?

Dylan?

——-—

Dylan his mind rummaging through the lecture of todays class, is alerted by Mason's sudden burst of yelling.

        —-

MASON

Dylan! God, where do you drift off to?

... What do you think? Do you think they go to our school?

DYLAN

Uh, um are you still talking about the neighbors?

MASON

Um, are you still talking about the neighbors-

Yes! Of course I am! I haven't even seen them.

It's been days! How does Gene get to know them before I do!

It's a small town, we should have seen

them by now. We live right next door!

DYLAN

Yeah, well news travels fast when you have

nothing to do and Gene has nothing better to do.

I am sure we'll seem them around soon. What does it matter?

———

Mason scoffs, dismissing Dylan's nonchalant question. Walking pass, Dylan and Mason run into CARTER, 24, tall, muscular, dressed in a beige coat, and black trousers; and his GROUP of friends walking with him.

——

CARTER

Hey, Dylan!

MASON

Oh, here we go, again. Leave him alone!

Don't you have anything better to do Carter.

CARTER

Woah, there. I just want to ask

him a question, man. You know,

just making good conversation.

DYLAN

It's alright, Mason.

Alright, what do you want to ask me?

CARTER

I just have one question. (Pauses)

What did you do on Friday night -

I didn't see you at the party..

We missed you, man.

MASON

Ignore him.

He's just messing with you.

DYLAN

I didn't go.

CARTER

Ah, what you'd do instead - get some quality

alone time with yourself, science boy!

Why don't you take a trip to the anatomy section?

You'll learn a thing or two!

—-

Carter and his friends laugh, ridiculously loud, as they continue walking.

—- 

MASON

Oh yeah - well you're a....

DYLAN

Come on, don't waste your oxygen. Let's go home.

MASON

Why don't you ever do anything, man?

You don't have to take his shit. You're better than that..

FLASHBACK BEGINS         INT. BATHROOM 

The sun papers outside the steamy window of the boys bathroom. The water is running from the showerhead. Dylan, shirtless, breathing heavily, is towering over the shower head, the running water hitting his back. He clenches a pocket knife in his hand, slashes  of water dripping red colored puddles. Peering down at his feet, the shower tiles show a puddle of water carrying a stream of blood as it escapes through the shower drain.

FLASHBACK ENDS

The content and characters are completely fictional and have no correlation to any work fictional or nonfictional. The story's content is for mature audiences as it features gory scenes of violence, death, and trauma. Like for more..

With that also said, I have written the story in a screenwriting format with the intention of visual images and have displayed it that way. I hope you can enjoy it! Check out more of my work on patreon.com/Bookshavefeelings

[crimes-self-ships]

i have had this in my drafts for over a year and slowly chipped away at it i think it’s done lol

yancy and prison!s/i’s first kiss,, (references to this fic in here)

Yancy rolled his shoulders and popped his neck, smirking as the members of the family who'd been watching his fight stepped forward to pat him on the back and congratulate him. Amongst all the "nice job"s and the "you showed him"s, Bam-Bam's voice piped up.

"You should probably pop down to the infirmary real quick. Your lip got busted." Yancy blinked in surprise, pressing his hand to his mouth for a moment to check as the adrenaline from the fight still kept him from feeling anything but slightly sore.

"Ah, youse right, I'll-" he paused and his eyes lit up as an idea occurred to him. "Yeah, yeah, I'll, uh, I'll go do that." He nodded to himself before jogging off. The group looked at each other briefly, exchanging glances.

"That's... that's definitely not the way to the infirmary, right?" Bam-Bam's question was met with unanimous nodding and a few muttered "yeah"s.

"It is the way to the cells, though," Sparkles' smile was clear in his voice, "and I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure Crimes is still in their cell." Most of the group nodded again, knowing smiles starting to appear alongside a couple teasing coos.

"Those two are hopeless," sighed Bam-Bam. Half the group nodded. Sparkles crossed his arms and cocked his head.

"Hmm, nah, I think there's still hope it'll happen soon." The other half nodded.

"Ay," Tiny interjected, "before we get back into this betting war again, we should take this guy to the actual infirmary." They pointed back at the guy Yancy had been fighting who was still crumpled up on the floor.

"Oh yeah."

"Forgot about that guy."

~~~

Crimes looked up from their book at the sound of incoming footsteps and smiled as they saw Yancy approach. They closed the book and stood to greet him. Yancy's face also lit up upon seeing them.

"Heya, Yancy!" Crimes' grin quickly turned to a look of concern as he stepped into their cell. "Woah, wait, what happened? You okay?" They rushed forward, stopping just short of him, hands starting to reach for him but quickly stopping before any contact was made. Yancy shrugged.

"Eh, you should see the other guy." Crimes rolled their eyes but made no attempt to hide the smile crossing their face.

"Yeah and you should see yourself, prettyboy. C'mon, sit down." They stepped to the side, gesturing to their bunk, which Yancy promptly sat on. Crimes turned to pull out the first aid kit they’d snuck into their cell once it was clear he’d be making these kinds of visits more regularly than they’d like. Not that they minded the company of course, especially if that company was him, but they’d rather him show up without getting hurt beforehand.

"Don't know what I'd do without you, doll." Crimes rolled their eyes again, even though they weren’t facing him, and tried to contain their smile.

“Get yourself killed, most likely.” They turned back, opening their kit and starting the all-too-familiar process of tending to him. He scoffed in a mock-offended way.

“Hey, I can handle myself just fine!” Crimes raised their eyebrows and paused to look at him.

“That’s why you’re in my cell?” They chuckled and resumed, “Y’know, we do have an infirmary here."

"Yeah, and they don't provide the same quality youse do." Crimes felt their heart skip a beat at that, and decidedly did not look up to see if Yancy was looking at them with that same warm smile they’d often see him wearing when they caught him staring. He was, of course.

"Quality?” Crimes asked, choosing to not know what he was referring to in an attempt to make him say it, “I'm not a trained medical professional, Yance." He shrugged and cocked his head to the side, his own heart thumping hard in his chest as Crimes pressed quick kisses to the injuries they’d just tended to.

"Well hey, what youse lack in experience you more than make up for in company,” he said, hoping his blush wasn’t too obvious and being grateful his voice didn’t waver. Crimes paused for a moment before continuing.

"Glad to hear it.” They said, thinking the exact same thoughts. “You hurt anywhere else?" They dared make eye contact. Yancy shrugged again.

"Just some bruises here and there." Crimes nodded, starting to put some of their supplies away, but stopped when their eyes flickered to Yancy’s lips- a habit they’d gotten into that they would deny they had should anyone ask- and they remembered that injury. Before they could think too much about the implications, their hand instinctually raised to cup Yancy’s face, their thumb tracing just below his lip. After a pause that was just slightly too long to be completely platonic, Crimes spoke up in a hushed voice.

"...Not much I can do about this, though." Both tried so hard not to think about how obvious their own blush must’ve been that they almost didn’t notice the other’s. Yancy swallowed and his own eyes darted to Crimes’s lips. They started to pull their hand back.

"I mean...” Yancy spoke up, making Crimes stop their motion. “…there is something." He made the most of his moment of courage and reached his hand up to cover their’s and keep it on his face. Crimes’s eyes frantically darted between Yancy’s eyes, hand, and lips, trying to find something to focus on.

"Y... You uh,” Crimes cleared their throat and wetted their lips, a motion Yancy’s eyes locked onto, “you mean what I think you mean there?" Yancy opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it, and after a second more he tried again.

"Maybe." The room fell into silence for a time that felt oh so much longer than it truly was. Crimes nodded, mostly to themself, and decided to take a leap of faith.

"...I think I know why you come to me instead of the infirmary,” they said, slightly leaning in.

"And why is that?" Yancy sat up straighter, getting closer to them. Crimes paused, a mere few inches away, and made eye contact with him.

"...Can I show you?" They whispered.

"Please do." Their lips met. Both intended for it to be brief, but they found themselves lingering, the fantasy both had been imagining for months suddenly a reality and both wanting to prolong the moment for all its worth.

Eventually, though, they parted, both giggling like schoolchildren, blushing madly and looking away from each other. They dared to dart their eyes over at each other briefly, and both started giggling again when they made eye contact. Crimes’s hand slid off his face, but Yancy still kept holding it, rocking them back and forth like a cradle.

“Y’know…” Yancy’s free hand came up to cup his own face, and he pouted exaggeratedly. “Ah… it still sorta hurts, doll, so maybe you should try again?” Crimes immediately broke out into another fit of giggles and Yancy couldn’t hold back his own smile.

“Fuckin’ dork,” they muttered, once they’d calmed down enough to speak, and then they kissed him again. This one didn’t last as long, as both of them were coming to realize they were likely going to get more in the future. When they parted, they didn’t lean back quite as far from each other; Crimes rested their forehead on Yancy’s, eyes closed. Yancy squeezed their hand.

“God, I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long…” He muttered, earning more soft giggles from them. They opened their eyes and leaned back slightly to get his attention.

“Y’know, prettyboy, technically, I’ve kissed you. You still haven’t kissed me yet.” Yancy chuckled this time and they grinned. They looked at each other with utter adoration in their eyes, looks previously only observed from afar that would quickly get covered if the other glanced their way now on display.

“Well, guess I oughta return the favor then.”