#that it's hard to see Hawks as fully wrong for killing Twice

[dynamightmite]

Hawks and Twice; Identities and Foils

Part one, lol

Okay, season six is fully out so I can finally talk about the Hawks killing Twice scene without tagging it as spoilers because. Listen. I love you guys, but some of the takes I’ve been reading about it are just maybe not the scalding hot read you think they are. So... let���s talk about it.

There are a few things that most people have picked up on and that I’d like to reestablish so we can all move past them to the nitty-gritty stuff. First is that, yes, Hawks is in the wrong for killing Twice. Narratively,  it is considered by everyone (including Hawks himself) to have been a bad thing to do. There’s so much grief surrounding Twice’s death, and everyone involved is badly affected by it. That’s the point of the scene. You aren’t supposed to have the takeaway that this was a righteous act, or that it was fair; it’s supposed to feel brutal, and wrong, and disgusting. You are supposed to come away questioning a lot of preestablished “truths” of the series. The main one here, of course, being that the roles of Heroes and Villains may not be as clear-cut as previously shown.

HOWEVER. The continuing takeaway is not really meant to be that Hawks is evil, or that the villains were actually in the right all along. Sure, you can personally dislike Hawks and/or his actions, but narratively speaking, this scene is not supposed to reframe him as somehow worse than the actual villains. What this scene is mean to accomplish is a deconstruction of the concept of heroes, villains, and the ties that bind them to better understand their similarities as much as their differences.

Identity is a prominent theme throughout the story, and the way Horikoshi plays with both the concept of identity and roles in this scene is really interesting and very well done. 

To start with the easier stuff, the first two “identities” that are immediately flipped on their heads are the titles of Hero and Villain. Both within the story and as an audience with our own external culture, we can recognize that Heroes are supposed to be 'good' and Villains are supposed to be 'bad'. That's a presupposed fact, and it's not hard to see that, while this has usually been true in the context of the story, suddenly it's not so clear—how can someone be a Hero when they're acting the way Hawks does? How can that be ordered by the people in charge of the Heroes? Sanctioned? Approved of?

The obvious answer that I'm sure you're telling me to get to already is that the heroes aren't always 'good', and that Hero society is, in fact, worse.

The art emphasizes this beautifully (seriously, the art in this scene is so good); Hawks the Hero stands shadowed and coldly predatory, while Twice the Villain is on his back, belly-up on the ground, trembling and crying. Hawks mocks Twice for being too trusting, Twice tells him that he had to be, because it was kind. And he can’t imagine not being that.

And this polarity reveals why it is so important that these two, who superficially have very little in common, undermine the dichotomy between Hero and Villain. Because Hawks and Twice actually have one very specific trait that connects them: the desire to help people.

Now, they obviously show it very differently and have opposing definitions on who, exactly, they believe deserves help. That’s what makes them foils. But the gut-wrenching string between these two men is that they are both trying to protect people. That’s their underlying goal, the one fundamental principle they both have that they will not waver on; unstoppable force, meet immovable object. They are, for this one moment, the same person. Because it’s also not as simple as just their desire to protect people—it’s that they both were inevitably going to end up in this stand-off. 

Something I don’t see talked about very much is how both Hawks and Twice are being used. It’s pretty obvious with Hawks, having been essentially bought as a child and manipulated by the HPSC to become the perfect hero and do what’s asked of him on the basis that, again, he wants to help people. He was a kid who was so alone and so desperate to be good, and then the HPSC, seeing how much potential he had, swooped in and offered him the resources and ability to make his dreams come true. He is a good person whose trust and sense of compassion have been manipulated so that he commits reprehensible acts because he is both told and genuinely believes that they will save people’s lives. And the really fucked up part is that they’re right— but more on that later.

For the people saying— “but that’s not like Twice at all. Twice is working with the League. They’re his friends. He loves them”—yeah that’s my whole point. What is the one thing Twice desperately wants, more than anything? Companionship. The feeling that he isn’t alone. Love. He’s been by himself almost his whole life, and his every choice has been reflective of his desire to have meaningful connections. He wants to be surrounded by people who accept him, and he wants to accept them in turn. and the League take advantage of that.

Now, before anybody gets mad, yes, the League do actually care about each other. Their relationships are complicated to say the least, and not really the found family that I see cropping up sometimes in Fanon, but they have each other’s backs, and they take care of each other. They don’t mind Twice’s eccentricities, and in fact even praise him for them. 

Which is sort of the problem. On his own, Twice is, at best, an unstable man willing to steal and ignore a lot of societal rules for the sake of his own comfort and happiness. But he isn’t naturally violent. In fact, the first time he experiences real, visceral violence, it traumatizes him so badly he gains an entire dissociative disorder. 

But that’s okay! He doesn’t mind that so much, as long as he has friends. He just wants to be helpful. And oh boy, does the League want his help. 

For people who do (in my opinion) genuinely care about Twice, they also ask him to do a lot of fucked up stuff (like kidnapping, and murder, and other general terrorist stuff). Because it benefits them. What other organization does that, I wonder?

Oh. Right.

Twice is dangerous. I’m sorry to all the people that like to infantilize him and act like he wasn’t about to run out of the door and murder and/or severely injure a bunch of heroes/civilians, but Twice was, canonically, going to go do that.  Because he believed that that was the only way to save his friends. That’s part of why this scene is so horrific and well written, because either way it went, someone was going to lose. And the unfortunate reality is that if Hawks didn’t stop him, Twice was going to go commit some unforgiveable crimes to a lot of people who didn’t deserve it, and he was never going to go quietly, because that’s not the kind of person that he is. Which Hawks understands; he’s the same way. But it’s also awful because neither of them should have ever been put in the position to have to make this choice. 

A big part of what the story explores when it comes to identities is how they are defined, and who gives them to you. Hawks and Twice both actively struggle with this, being two people who don't feel (rightly or not) that they've had a lot of agency in their lives.

Hawks wants to help people, but he feels stifled by the role of Hero, which was chosen for him, and whose expectations he chafes against. For as much as he supports the HPSC and upholds their goals, he has a lot of doubts and critiques of how hero society works. He is a Hero because somebody else saw him and thought he should be, not necessarily because he decided to be all on his own, regardless of his own twisted view of his past. But he doesn't always like what is asked of him, or the restraints that working for the HPSC puts on him. It's heavily implied that he feels like his personhood has been lost to his Hero identity (Hawks, as opposed to Keigo), and doesn't know how to reconcile his own actions with the public's perception of him.

Twice, similarly, had his role chosen for him at a young age (hitting a guy with his motorcycle and spiraling afterwards) and actively dislikes the label of Villain. He's not someone who craves violence or cruelty, but rather someone who gravitates towards it because he's run out of other options. And if the only people who are kind to him are Villains, what does that say about Heroes and their so-called goodness? Twice doesn't know that he, or any of the League, should be called Villains. How can they be worse than the heroes when basic decency is too much to ask of the people you're meant to idolize?

They're both caged by the way the world sees them versus the way they want to be seen, as well as trapped by the choices they've made in relation to the people they wish they were. Because, to be clear, they do both make choices. That's how they end up where they do, both wishing they were somewhere else—or maybe someone else.

Twice is a killer who never set out to be a killer. Hawks is a killer who never set out to be a killer. Twice is a Villain. Hawks is a Hero.

They’re in a room alone together. Outside are all the people they want to protect. Someone has to blink first.

In this moment, they are the same. 

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

No bc you're both so right??? Just don't let the haters know Demetri's having a hard time letting Old Eli go because you KNOW they gonna have a meltdown like "HE'S TRYING TO REGRESS ELI BACK INTO WHO HE WAS WHEN HE WAS BULLIED AND MISERABLE HE HATES ELI HE HATES THAT HE GOT CONFIDENT AND MEAN HE SECRETLY WANTS ELI TO BE MISERABLE SO HE CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF BWAAAAAH" and such shit similar ;_____;

What people don't get about Demetri is that he clearly didn't enjoy seeing Eli be tormented all those years!!! He convinced himself he was powerless to do anything (and for all we know, maybe he used to stand up to bullies but gave up), but during the scene where Kyler is bullying Eli in the library, Demetri looks absolutely livid in the background. He was clutching onto the back of a chair so hard his knuckles were turning white!!! (Well...whitER...)

BUT Eli and Demetri had a vastly different approach to Eli's bullying. Demetri's mindset is "they're bullying Eli, so something's wrong with them." He doesn't even think twice before dismissing the vile shit these people fling at Eli because they're morons! Duh! Why would anyone put ANY stock into what these imbeciles are saying about his best friend??? They're shallow pieces of shit who will never, ever have opinions Demetri will deem worthy of considering for even a nanosecond. It's completely unfathomable to him that anyone would give what the bullies think the time of day AT ALL, let alone take it to heart. THIS is why he doesn't notice the long-term bullying is having more drastic effects on Eli than him. He can't conceptualize how that even works because he respects these people so little, and views him and Eli as being above them in every sense. (At least in terms of intelligence and like...long term potential. Obviously not popularity wise lol)

Eli, meanwhile, approaches this all from a mindset of "they're bullying me, so something's wrong with me." He fully believes he is the problem, and the only way to fix it is to make himself into something the bullies will accept. The long-term bullying for his lip scar just makes him feel more and more that he's a worthless piece of shit, and the people who hate him (most of their classmates) outnumber the people who love him (Demetri) a million to one. So, yeah, of course he doesn't want to be the kind of person most of their classmates think is a pathetic piece of shit, even if one (1) guy does think he's pretty cool as he is. And since Eli has always been a "man of few words," he might not necessarily tell Demetri how deeply the bullying affects him. Unfortunately, Demetri didn't ever seem to pick up on this pre-show--hence why he's blindsided by the whole Hawk thing.

And of course it's hard for Demetri to reckon with the fact that Eli hated himself so much that he felt the need to kill that person entirely. Demetri's grieving someone he loved more than anything! And it breaks his fucking heart that Eli felt like he was so defective that he had to completely revamp himself to like. Be a happy, functioning human. And especially the fact that Eli changed to impress people Demetri doesn't think are worthy of licking the dirt they step on! And he's probably panicking, too, wondering what the fuck he's doing wrong here. He's tried to unconditionally support Eli, constantly straddling the line between encouraging him to do whatever new things make him happy (i.e. karate, giving himself crazy hair, etc.) and not enabling him being a gigantic douche. He forgave Eli for a frankly insane amount of bullshit and tried to embrace the "new Eli" as best he could, encouraging him not to quit karate, hyping up his fighting abilities, and making it clear that he doesn't view Eli as any less intelligent or capable just because he's into slightly more "macho" stuff now.

We do see him struggling--mainly through the fact that he assumed Eli's college plans won't have changed, even though so many other things have. It's been such a constant and sure thing to Demetri for most of their lives, and he has a hard time wrapping his head around Eli wanting something different. This is part of why he gets upset about MIT, I think, but it's also that he's worked so hard to "roll with the punches" (heh, no pun intended) in his and Eli's relationship and embrace lots and lots of other changes that Eli wants. And here Eli is, essentially saying "that's not enough, it won't ever be enough. There's not a place for you in my life anymore. I've left you once, and now I'm going to again." I don't think this is ACTUALLY what Eli feels, but that's how it comes across to Demetri! And there is so much grief and heartbreak and anger and resentment that comes out in the flag fight because Demetri accepted Eli back with open arms and busted his ass trying to be a good friend, and was rewarded with Eli saying that's still not a good enough reason to not leave Demetri behind.

I hope the ultimate resolution is that neither of them go to MIT. I hope that instead of stubbornly sticking to a goal he made when he was quite literally 5, Eli's re-evaluation of MIT forces Demetri to re-think it as well. There's really no reason why Demetri needs to stay static in this whole equation, especially since MIT is less something Demetri seems to want for its own sake and more that he's attached to the idea of it as this Big Epic Thing that he and Eli will do together. Like, he looks genuinely miserable when he tells his friends he got in!

I truly believe he does not give a rat's ass about going to MIT if Eli won't be there. He wants to be wherever Eli is! And I think it would be really nice if Dem kinda allowed himself to grow beyond who he was and what he wanted as a kid. I feel like he needs to let that go just as much as he needs to let go of the old version of Eli, and only then can he and Eli grow and move forward TOGETHER. As god intended!!!

And there's hope for them yet--there are TONS of Smart People Schools™️ with a really baller party scene, too! I think if they commit to it a little, it won't be as hard as they think to find a school that offers what both of them want and need NOW. NOW, as young adults, not what they thought they wanted and needed as kids.

#their friendship is everything to me #they are truly THE example of growing up and holding onto a childhood friend #there is nothing harder or more disappointing #but nothing more rewarding than continuing to love the person you loved when you were a child @newobsessioneveryday hi these tags have me in TEARS excuse you!!! Can confirm as someone who has managed to hold onto childhood friends. Yes, the dynamic will have to change and yes, you will grieve past versions of them. Yes, you will be a little sad when they lose interest in something both of you used to love. Yes, sometimes you'll long for a simpler time--maybe you both will, when adulthood gets too complicated. But finding a way to persist anyways and love every new version of them is the most worth it and rewarding thing in the entire world.

the thing to me about Demetri in season 6 is that it very much feels like he’s still clinging to the old version of Eli like just a little bit. Like he accepts that his hair is different and he dresses different and he likes karate now, but Demetri never calls him hawk and is still talking for him and still expects the two of them to go to MIT like nothing has changed. We as an audience can understand that Eli has hated every version of himself until around like season 4 or season 5, including who he was before karate and before the show, but to Demetri that version of Eli was his best friend, he loved that version of Eli and I think to him the rejection of MIT really solidifies that Eli will never be that person again. Like, I think Demetri was like “well he’s not hawk anymore so now my best friend Eli is back” but to Eli, I think he’s trying to be someone new, not the kid who was bullied and not the person who hurt his best friend. I think that season 6 is a little bit about the two of them reckoning with the people they are now and the people they want to be in college

[oneoftheextras]

Day 30 | Dabi | Kinktober 2021

kinktober 2021 masterlist

30th October - Degradation

paring: dabi x prohero!reader

summary: hawks was the last person you expected to betray you, especially to this level. you hated him, but not more than you hated the villain he left you alone with

words: 3.2k

warnings: no spoilers for any season, 18+, smut, dub-con, degradation, name calling, pain, emotional manipulation, hair pulling, restraints, oral (m receiving)

a/n: first time writing dabi, let me know your thoughts

← day 29 | spitting | tobio kageyama      day 31 | cucking | levi ackerman & erwin smith →

“Come on, I dislike this as much as you do,” the red winged man rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. It had been hours and your resistance was starting to wear him down.

If anyone was to be complaining it should be you. The chair they’d tied you to was cold and hard, your ass had gone numb ages ago and you could barely feel the tips of your fingers from how tightly they’d bound your hands to it.

“I doubt that,” you stared him down with a look that could kill. 

Hawks, Keigo Takami - your former best friend. Had sold you out to the League of Villains without batting an eye.

Hurt didn’t begin to describe how you felt. “Just tell them what they want and this’ll be over,” Keigo crouched in front of you and put his hands on your bruised knees, you immediately jolted in your chair to try and avoid his touch but your restraints were too tight.

“I’m not a traitor like you,”. His eyes still held their kindness for you whilst yours leaked with venom. 

“Nah, but you’re the dumb bitch that let yourself get caught,” Dabi didn’t give you the courtesy of glancing in your direction as he spoke about you, instead continuing to lay on his back and stare at is phone from the worn looking couch.

Your eyes darted nervously to the dark haired man, that was the first thing he’d said since you got here. He was the one that had overpowered you enough to put you in this chair and keep you there while Twice and Toga got to work with the rope. 

Dabi was the only person in this room that truly frightened you.

Suddenly, a memory invaded your vision. It lasted for a nanosecond but it felt like you were reliving the moment in it’s entirety. 

Keigo and you were drunk after a long week of Hero work, talking about things Heroes shouldn’t talk about - you’d confessed to him some of your darkest kinks; as well as some of your fantasies. 

Out of the corner of your vision you could see Hawks eyeing his newly found comrade, the small twinkle of an idea dancing in his golden irises.

You turned your head back so you could fully take in his expression, searching for anything that would tell you that your gut was wrong, but when Hawks made eye contact with you again you were met only with the essence of guilt.

“Kill her already, this is pointless,” Shigaraki waved his hand and Toga gripped her knife excitedly, “Wait!” Hawks shouted, extending his hand out in a pushing motion to stop any of the Villain’s advances.

His eyeline was on the floor as his mind quickly weighed up the pros and cons of the decision he was about to make.

“Keigo,” you whispered low enough for only him to hear, his eyes trailed from the floor and met yours, “Please don’t,” you begged - attention subconsciously darting to Dabi on the couch for a brief second.

Hawks swallowed a large lump of saliva before standing to his full height, “I’m sorry,” he muttered before lifting his head and avoiding eye contact with you.

“Dabi-” he called from across the room, “Keigo!” you sounded more desperate than before, voice cracking as you begged for him not to do this to you, “-Why don’t you give it a try?” Hawks stepped away from you and towards the group of people he’d betrayed you for.

“I’m not wasting my time on a Hero slut,” he moved his scarred arm to rest behind the back of his head as he continued to scroll through his phone.

A breath of relief audibly left you. Maybe you’d get out of this unscathed.

Hawks ignored the man’s protests and stood next to Shigaraki, he said something inaudible to him and you watched as his features lit up with what you assumed to be surprise.

Shigaraki stared at you with a shit-eating grin that immediately put you on the defensive, “The fuck you looking at?” you tried to sound as intimidating as possible and it worked for a second before you saw his expression go from smiling to grinning.

“Go on Dabi, scare her,” Shigaraki gestured towards you with his head. Your eyes flicked between Hawks and Shigaraki, the two men couldn’t be more opposite - Hawks seemed as though he was already regretting his decision whilst Shgaraki looked like his favourite show was about to start.

Maybe you should’ve kept your mouth shut.

A heavy sigh came from across the room and you refused to give your attention to it, when you saw the figure getting closer to your position you locked eyes with Hawks instead. This was his fault after all.

“Don’t hurt her!” you saw the blonde man say, “No, no,” the deeper voice waved his hand with a dismissive gesture, “If you ask for my help I do it my way!”.

You were very aware of the presence standing in front of you. His hands were in his jean pockets and you could feel his gaze burning into you already but you refused to give him the satisfaction of your attention.

“Hey!” a heavy boot kicked one of the chair legs and you felt the structure shake under it’s force - you ignored it, maintaining your death stare on Keigo who was looking between you and Dabi nervously.

A frustrated low growl came out of him as he gripped the arm rests of your chair, leaning his tall frame over your body just enough for only you to be able to hear his words.

“He’s not going to help you-” he started with a sigh, “-He’s the one that sold you out, remember? He abandoned you! Basically signed your death certificate,” he had an amusement in his voice that you found equal parts attractive and terrifying.

“Either way you’re dead so tell us what we want to know so I don’t have to keep looking at you,” you didn’t need to see his face to know he was clenching his teeth.

His patience was thinner than you thought. A hand shot up and gripped you by the cheeks, forcing you to make eye contact with him, “Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” you were met with the most fierce turquoise eyes.

“Or do you not know?” he tilted his head to the side, examining the defensive glint in your eye that was slowly fading at the realisation that Dabi didn’t mind getting physical if he needed to. 

A sickening laugh echoed off the walls and bounced back into your ears, “You don’t know! Imagine being that much of a failure that your boss doesn’t trust you with the smallest bit of information-”.

The skin around his staples strained as he made no attempt to stop the gleeful smile growing on his face, “What exactly were you to them?” he let the question fester in your mind.

You were an asset to the Heroes Commission, you knew that! That’s why they always gave you the tough jobs - although, Hawks seemed to get the more important and less life threatening ones.

“You’re expendable.” Dabi spoke the words that were forming in your brain.

“Probably a worthless bitch for them to fuck when they were bored. Yeah, you look like the type-” his rant was cut short by your spit hitting his face followed by a venomous, “Fuck you!”.

The room went silent as Dabi let go of your face and straightened his posture. The only noise in the room was your heavy breathing paired with the harsh rise and fall of your chest.

He stared at you, face devoid of emotion. The calm expression gave you chills; it was better when he was laughing.

“Get out,” his voice was quiet but it carried through the room, his palm crackled with a blue hue and you knew you’d crossed the line. “Don’t hurt her!” Hawks repeated his plea from earlier but it landed on deaf ears as Dabi placed his hand on your thigh and you felt a searing pain shoot through the fabric and directly onto your skin.

You grit your teeth together and clenched your jaw to hold back the scream that you trapped in your throat, half because you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction and half because you didn’t trust it to be entirely an anguished scream. 

The pain wasn’t that bad, you’d definitely had worse but you could tell he was holding back.

“Are you deaf? I said get out!” Dabi said a bit louder than before and the room started to move hurriedly towards the door. 

Hawks was practically forced out of the room by Compress and closely followed by the others, only Shigaraki remained to whisper something to Dabi before he too made his leave.

The door let out a metallic boom as it was pulled shut fully, leaving you and Dabi in an eerie silence.

“What did he say?!” your voice croaked from holding back your cries but you still tried to sound tough. Dabi made no attempt to answer your question, instead he walked over to one of the other metal chairs and dragged it towards the only exit this room had.

The sound of metal scraping across the stone floor was unpleasant, small sparks flicked the ground as he forcefully shoved the back of the chair under the door handle.

The first thought that crawled into your head was that he was blocking your exit, but a sickening feeling nuzzled itself in your stomach at the prospect that he was trying to stop other’s from coming in.

“Why do you wanna know? Got something to hide?” his voice rang through the room as he turned his attention back to you, strolling towards your bound body.

You did your best to meet his eye but the knowing tint in them made you look away, “Sick little fuck aren’t you?” he scoffed.

Putting the tip of one of his boots on the small part of chair that was visible between your legs, he pushed your chair backwards making you feel like he was going to tip you over completely.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m a-” you started but were interrupted by a yelp that left your mouth when the chair almost lost it’s balance entirely, “What? A good girl?” he mocked you, even though that wasn’t what you were going to say.

He put all his weight on the chair harshly and all four legs slammed back onto the floor, you were amazed that they didn’t break under the force. Dabi was surprisingly strong for such a lanky man.

“You Heroes are all the same, you think you’re the pinnacle of perfection but you’re not,” he crinkled his nose in distaste as he spoke, “What’d you think the Commission would say if they knew you had the hots for a Villain?”.

He waited and observed your face. He wanted to watch the realisation hit you; the realisation that he knew the dirty thoughts you’d had about him. He was disappointed when your face hardly changed.

“I don’t.” you said bluntly, turning your head to the side and avoiding eye contact with him. You had to stay calm, at this point it was Hawks’ word against yours, if you could just keep your cool then you’d be fine.

His fingers curled into your hair and yanked your head backwards making an unexpected moan come out of your mouth - it was quiet and it could’ve easily been mistaken as a pained yell.

He pulled and pulled until your whole throat was exposed to him and you had a choice between staring at the ceiling or closing your eyes, so you opted to inspect the ceiling, closing your eyes might make it seem like you were enjoying this. Which you were, but you wouldn’t let him know that.

“Sure you don’t,” his voice was laced with sarcasm, he shook your head lazily as he admired the strain your neck muscles gave against his grip.

His free hand cupped your crotch and your body jolted at the sudden contact. Instinctively, you tried to close your legs but your knees hit the steel toe of his boot.

He watched your face intently as he gently rubbed his fingers against the fabric, this was the first thing he did that wasn’t rough. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself? ‘Cause you’re already soaked,” he let go of your hair and your head dropped down from the lack of resistance his hand gave you.

You fought against your restraints as well as your own body, you wanted to make noise so badly but you wouldn’t give in that easy. “I’m surprised you-” you took a sharp intake of breath to stop the moan he almost pulled from you, “-can feel anything with those hands,” you mocked his purple patches bitterly.

Ordinarily, you’d never talk about someone’s scars but you were on the defensive and would try anything to change the subject.

He wasn’t deterred by your comment, instead it seemed to spur him on as he slipped his hand into your pants, “I can feel plenty,” he sigh like he was the one being touched, the feeling of your wet walls encasing his fingers was heavenly.

He pushed two of his fingers inside you without preparation, the angle wasn’t the best but the way your legs had been tied meant that your thighs would never meet even if you wanted them to.

A whimper struggled against your closed lips, you’d locked your jaw tight and bit down on your bottom lip, anything to keep the noises from spilling.

He had to admit, if the last couple of hours had taught him anything, it’s that you were stubborn - but he was more so.

When he picked up the pace and started to rub your clit with his thumb it was obvious that you were enjoying this, more than he had expected, you were practically a moaning mess with your mouth closed.

You scrunched your eyes shut, he was hitting every spot like he knew your body inside and out, you were getting closer to your orgasm and you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep quiet.

“You’re disgusting,” his tone contradicted his words, but you tensed around his digits regardless. He stopped his movements and you held back a whine at the lack of friction.

The cogs were turning in his head, Dabi wasn’t dumb, he quickly realised what was going on. He laughed a belly laugh at you, “No. Fucking. Way!” he punctuated each of his words with a pump of his fingers, “This is great!” he sounded like he was having the time of his life.

“Fuck you!” you snarled at him, trying to convince yourself that if you hated him enough then you’d hate the way he made you feel, “That is the plan, but not yet,” you looked up at him just in time to see him pull his cock out of his jeans.

Most noteworthy was the Jacob’s Ladder piercing trailing up the underneath of his length.

Your eyes widened and shot up to his face, “What?” he tilted his head to the side as he smeared his precum over his leaking head, “I would’ve thought a slut like you is used to seeing dicks,” there it was again, your walls squeezing his fingers.

He released his shaft and forcibly gripped your chin as he fucked you on his fingers, “Open up,” he taunted you but you shook your head while looking up at him with pleading eyes. You knew as soon as your mouth was open all sorts of noises would tumble out.

“Are you too fucking dumb to understand a simple instruction, I said open!” he growled as he forced your mouth open. The second your lips parted a lewd moan vibrated in the air, you prayed that no one had decided to stand on the other side of the door otherwise they would’ve definitely heard you.

He didn’t immediately shove his dick in your mouth which you expected him to do, instead he held your mouth open as saliva trickled down your chin. Once you’d truly made a mess of yourself, he slid his cock into your mouth.

You felt the weight of him first and then the cold bars of his piercing hit your tongue. He didn’t relent with his other hand, he instead added another finger and you screamed in delight around him. He placed his spit covered hand on the back of your head and moved it to meet his thrusts, he had no intention of being gentle with you.

No matter how badly you tried to hold back your noises, with him thrusting into your mouth wasn’t enough to muffle the sounds, instead they would be momentarily garbled from the action of his cockhead hitting the back of your throat.

It was too much, you glanced up towards his face and noted that he head was thrown back in pleasure. That was the tipping point, your walls fluttered around his fingers and you felt your release approaching, that’s when he pulled his hand from you and fucked your face harder.

You would’ve complained if your mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied. Dabi groaned and lifted his head so he could see just how disappointed you were at your orgasm being stolen from you.

He cooed at you and pouted out his bottom lip, “Aww, did you wanna cum?” he laughed as his own thrusts became erratic, he gripped the back of your head harder and forced himself to bottom out, “This is for spitting on me!” you felt his dick throb, then a deep moan rumbling from his chest followed by his release shooting down your throat.

The only option was to swallow, not that you opposed the idea, you just wished he’d given you a warning.

Just as quickly as his hand had moved, he slid himself out of your mouth, making no attempt to keep you clean. You gasped for air, not realising just how long you’d held your breath.

He’d tucked himself back into his jeans and composed himself, “Tell us what we want to know and I’ll think about giving you what you want,” he trailed off the end of his sentence as he removed the chair from the doorway and banged on the door loudly.

As though nothing had happened, he went back to sitting on the couch as the others started trailing in. 

Hawks paused in the doorway when he saw the state of you; dishevelled hair, spit and- something else- running down your chin as you panted like you’d just been for a run. 

“Well?” Shigaraki said aloud, “Did she tell you anything?” he asked Dabi. When you finally looked up at Hawks, he was staring at you with a expression of disbelief. It made you furious, what exactly did he expect to happen?

“Not yet, but she will,” Dabi tapped mindlessly on his phone, a wicked smirk forming on his face, “Just let her throat recover first,”.

@mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law @hereticpriest @enagmaticether @anxiousgoddest @kodzu-ken @moonnei @diesinspanishbcimhispanic  @fvckmeupyoonz @homosexualjohnwayne @notplutos @moth-baybee @answer-the-sirens @ochakoakabane

[kitsunefyuu]

Since someone ‘kindly’ asked how Villain’s Winning can be made (thinking they all die) into a sequel manga I decided to write one out. Because I do love a challenge this is also running under the premise of Dad for One. Note it’s dark and people die because the Villains ‘win’ but there is HOPE.

   The criteria for the Villain’s winning is taking out the heroes, this does not mean they have to kill every hero mind you. Just the big ones like Endeavor, Hawk’s Jeanist, and any that get in their way are a target.

   Anyone that stands up? Murder them, so yeah people aren’t wrong a LOT of people would die. But Nezu smart if he realizes it is going side ways he would likely force the kids to get out because they are the FUTURE. Many other adults realizing if AFO becomes fully restored or Tomura can’t be de-quirked any longer many will die.

   They try to abort because they lost control. Now here where I do a surprise kicker, AFO getting pissed.

   Dabi wakes up and blast anyone near here with a intense heat that nearly turns everything to cinder. As if had just gotten a second wind the ice Shoto used seeming to have helped give him ‘years’ in his life. Almost revitalized and he REFUSES to lose, he doesn’t give a ‘fuck’ about happy ending he already lost that years ago when started murdering people.

   Himiko can’t let go of her anger and pain of rejection from both of the people she likes and uses Twice’s quirk to overwhelm Ochaco and her team. There’s too many and she can transform into anything she wants.

   Spinner breaks out Kurogiri, now they have their best man to warp them- And of course they reorganize their people because Kurogiri is completely on their side. Not Oboro anymore.

    THAT is when they realized they lost, as Izuku was meant to be their ace everyone had been paired up thinking it’s their best match. But the villains refuse, they have NOTHING to lose so they will give up everything to win. Izuku isn’t where he is supposed to be.

   Nezu makes the call, telling the adult heroes to get the kid out of there as AFO is at full power and they didn’t plan for this. Many are pissed, angry, some are quick to scramble or fleeing when Tarturus biggest baddies start decimating them.

   Then they get news from a crying Jirou that Endeavor and Hawk’s just got killed. They tried so damn hard, they even cracked the man’s helmet but he went in for the kill. Hawk’s and Endeavor risked themselves to keep them alive. All for one didn’t even bat an eye at them the moment those two died and fled because he doesn’t have time for them. Darting off toward where Tomura should be.

   That is the story of how the heroes lost and hope died....

   It’s a chaotic mess but most of the kids do escape with the help of some adults. Shoto barely survived his brothers attempted murder, but when hears the announcement from his head piece of Hawk and Endeavors death. He just laughs Maniacally, whether it joy or at the absurdity as he wasn’t the cause of it no one knows. He just tries to leave because what’s the point in killing his brother if the one he truly hated isn’t around to see it.

   Shoto can’t even move.

   Ochaco and Asui were made to evacuate the moment Himiko used twice quirk as it just seemed endless. They can’t HANDLE that many of them! Yet are mortified at how many people died because of this. Ochaco tried to reason, to talk, but Himiko didn’t want to talk she wanted them dead. Still thinking of the parents who never loved her. Yet she doesn’t pursue them when they go over the ocean to escape... Maybe a part of her still wished they could have been friends.

   Either way, many of the class 1-A and most youth involved escape now the final piece... Izuku never did get to reach Tomura as All Might in his headpiece tries to talk to him. To tell him to return to base as it gone down hill- Then there’s an explosion and Izuku stops his running. That horrifying dead dread in his chest as hears someone picking up the mic.

   “Are we done playing heroes and villain? I’m getting quite tired of these games,” an ominous voice emerges. All for One had used Kurogiri to warp him, the mist always able to move as he pleases and Spinner had been a great help. “And you All Might, I think you’ve overstayed your welcome.”

   And All Izuku can do is scream at him to stop, to not hurt him- Only to hear a scream and silence.

   “I’m sorry did you think you were in a hero’s manga, Izuku? I did warn you, you walk a thorny path and I’m tired of holding back. I’ll pick you up soon,” then there’s a click as the weight of what happened sits in and Izuku screams.

[retrogalwrites]

Hawks/Takami Keigo x  catgirl!reader

Title: “Canary killed the cat” / view on ao3

Summary: Hawks takes a stray cat home with him. Yes, that cat is you.

warnings: dubcon, yandere hawks, misogyny, manipulation, dehumanization, literal pet play, kidnapping/abduction, mommy issues, softness but in all the wrong ways

words: 1800

He found you shivering behind a dumpster in an alley, it took him less than five minutes to track you down.

A pair of feline ears stood above your head, pointing backwards in sign of pure fright, they were the color of your hair. You stared at him with wide eyes and bared teeth, hands desperately clutching the stolen bread against your chest so hard it had become mostly wasted crumbs scattered on the ground. You pleaded, you hissed, shaking like you were going to crumble as well.

"Let me go, let me go, let me go!!!"

"Wish I could, but as you must know, stealing is a very bad thing to do, sweetheart..." He spoke casually and condescendingly, of course, someone who did not really believe in the very things he preached.

"I know...I know, I just..." You had started to cry. "I was so hungry, please, let me go..."

It was a pathetic sight, but not one Keigo hadn't already seen far too many times to count. There are people like you everywhere, he grew up with people like you, and they always end up in the same place.

It shouldn't have made a difference, you shouldn't have made a difference. But when he approached your struggling form pinned to a bricked wall by feathers, Keigo couldn't help the curiosity that made him peer at your face.

 It was the curiosity that killed the cat.

"Oh?" He sounded surprised, because he was. "You are cute."

"...w-what?"

Crouching down next to you, he forcefully grabbed you by the jaw to turn your head to the side, inspecting you from different angles with a gaze of morbid curiosity.

Indeed, you were cute, extremely cute. Perhaps too cute for your own good. Was it something in your eyes? Your features? He wasn't sure, and that only intrigued him more.

Of course, you were a disheveled mess, all rags, dirt smeared on your face and bruised limbs, surely from a life living more like animal than a woman in a society that had no place for the outcasts. No, you were nothing like those women he was used to, perfect beauties and bimbos born into wealth and acceptance, instead you were just a pitiful looking thing.

And yet...you were so cute, despite of that. Or maybe because of it.

"W-What are you going to do to me?"

Keigo smiled at you, he had already made up his mind on that matter.

"What's your name?" He asked instead, purposely ignoring your question. Confused and frightened, you hesitated before answering.

His smile grew wider, feathers ruffling behind his back.

———————

After taking you home, the first thing he did was getting you clean.

It pleased him greatly, how you didn't put up a fight even when he ordered you to take off your rags for clothes while he prepared a warm bath for two. Perhaps you were too exhausted, maybe too afraid, or maybe it had just been that long since you were given the most basic care that, even in a situation like this, the prospect of a bath was too good not to submit to it.

"Wh...why are you doing this?" You asked meekly, as you undressed in his bathroom, under his gaze. "Are heroes even supposed to...?"

"Shhh. Don't worry your little head about that, let's just get you cleaned, alright sweetheart?"

He spoke amiably, but his eyes openly leered at the curvature of your hips, the ripe swell of your breasts and that pretty pussy covered by a patch of pubic hair (most women trim and shave these days, a shame, he preferred the natural look).

While you submerged yourself in the tub with him, Keigo eagerly scrubbed your body off all the grime and dirt. His hands eagerly explored your body, testing the softness and the suppleness of your flesh by groping it. He was hard the entire time, watching your skin become clean and soft filled him with certain satisfaction that had his cock begging for attention, wishing to be buried deep in the warmth of your tight heat, but he had to control himself for the time being.

If you noticed his erection poking at your backside, you didn't say anything, and Keigo liked that in a woman.

Keigo liked you.

———————

It was not like you had a home to return to, nor people waiting for you anywhere, right? There was nothing technically wrong with taking something that didn't belong to anyone, and he loved living on technicalities.

That's right, taking a little stray cat home should've been fine.

Even if you tried to claw your way away after the first day, when you realized he had no intentions on letting you go back to the streets.

"You should be grateful, don't you think?" He spoke bemused by the sight of you, curled into a ball with your tail wrapped around your body, it was cute. "You don't have to live like a stray anymore."

"B-But I'm a person, this is wrong...you just can't..."

"When was the last time anyone treated you like a person?"

Your silence in that moment sounded like the beginning of your acceptance. The despair on your face reminded him of something, or rather someone...that despair looked a lot like his mother's eyes.

He didn't want to see that look on your face.

———————

Keigo simply locked you in a room for a few days after that, waited until you calmed down, he figured that you just needed to get familiar with your new home, he knew that he had to be patient when it comes to adopting a new pet. He brought you presents everyday for a week, all the luxuries girls love and that he knew for a fact you never had known about: expensive clothes (tailored to his tastes), plushes, shoes, perfumes, chocolates and candy of all types.

When he found you nibbling on candy, curled up on a giant teddy bear, he knew that it was just a matter of time before you were seduced by the opportunity of living a comfortable life.

————————

Pretty girls had been more like a given commodity for most of his life, from A to Z he had fucked most beauties out there with a big enough names that many would been jealous of his body count, but Keigo was never one to really fawn over any of them before, he couldn't even remember the faces of more than half of them either.

But in that moment, having you nestled between his legs trying to fit his cock into your pretty mouth until your nose was buried in his pubes, Keigo felt like he was with the cutest thing in the entire fucking world, and the shit-eating grin plastered on his face showed it. You were just too adorable, trying so earnestly not to choke on the size of his fully erect length, the head already poking at the back of your throat and he hadn't even started moving yet.

"Good girl, you're doing it so well."

He flicked one of your ears with his index finger, it twitched.

Purring loudly, you tried bobbing your head as you nursed on his cock, drooling all over it in the process. It felt good, better than good, and Keigo was overcome with how beautiful you looked in that moment, and how no one would've looked at you twice before he found you.

As your mouth worked on his cock, one of your hands massaged his balls, he didn't even had to tell you to, a sign you had learned well. Soon enough he felt that pleasure getting dangerously close to reaching climax, and he made you stop. You whined, a disappointed sound being pushed away as his cock slipped out of your mouth, a trail of saliva still connecting his the head to your swollen lips.

"Don't pout at me like that, today I feel like filling you up, pussycat." He chuckled, he large palm petting the top of your head, which you were quickly nuzzling against. "Get on the bed."

Well trained as you were, you climbed onto the mattress quickly getting on all fours, and Keigo was quick to follow. Grabbing you by the hips, he pulled your round ass against his erection, your fluffy tail stood up in the air vibrating with anticipation as strong fingers   pulling at your soaked pussy lips to expose your tight little hole to his hungry gaze. Purring, your back arched when Keigo slowly buried his cock into your cunt, he felt your fleshy walls stretching around him, shaping around him to his shape and girth, until he was balls deep inside.

You moaned, tightening around him with a vice grip that could've made him cum a little too soon.

"M-Master...master...please...."

"What a dirty girl, begging for cock like a whore." And he made you into that, he couldn't have been more proud. Getting you to call him your master took a little while, but damn had it been worth the wait.

Keigo started moving, thrusting his hips and pulling his cock half-way out of you before slamming back in. He watched how your cunt swallowed him hole with ease, the ripples on your ass when his hand came down to slap one of your cheeks, making you mewl like the animal you had accepted to be.

Kaigo threw his had back when he felt that climax brewing all over again, before his thrusts came to a halt as he held your hips in place. He spilled his hot cum right into you, the little entrance of your womb sucking the semen straight from his cock like your body was begging to be stuffed with it.

He pulled out his softening cock, a trail of cum dribbling down your thighs and onto the sheets. You never stopped purring.

————————

Keigo returned from his patrol to find you looking out of the large glass window of his bedroom. He petted your head as he approached you from behind.

"You don't miss it out there, do you?" He asked, you shook your head. Of course he knew you didn't, otherwise Keigo wouldn't allow you to approach the windows on first place.

He pulled out a rectangular box from his pocket, watched with delight the way your curious eyes stared at it, already knowing it had to be a gift for you. Keigo chuckled, you were getting very spoiled, he thought for a second, but only a second.

"I thought it was about time I got you one of these." He opened the box to reveal a pet collar with a tag showing your name engraved. "What do you think?"

The smile on your face was the sort of look he always wanted to see on it.

[oh-katsuki]

thank u for answerrinngg fang <33333333

i never thought much about hawks until i read the manga and even then, i found him a little difficult to characterize simply because he is so complex. i think that seeing a lot of fanon interpretation of him before i actually read the manga had something to do with it, though that’s my own fault for not being able to separate it as well. 

but one thing i DID see and notice is hawks’ optimism, which he states in the manga saying “im an optimist to a fault” and i think it ties in SO closely to what you’re saying about hawks being hopeful to the point of delusion when it comes to hero society. 

there’s this indication in his character that he knows something is wrong, but he can’t bring himself to fully face what it is because it would mean looking at his coping mechanism and dismantling it one by one. his loyalty (and internal disloyalty) to the commission is slowly killing him and i think he knows that it’s happening, but (like you said) deliberately chooses to look away in favor of continuing to cope. i think he needs to know, for now, that the beliefs that quite literally saved him are okay to have. i think that he uses them as a crutch when things get hard and as a result, struggles with openly acknowledging that the system he is a part of is deeply flawed to the point of failure. 

i’m not much of a text analyzer, admittedly. i’m better at visual analysis through my line of study and what i will say is that hawks character changes visually according to the toll his beliefs, loyalty, and optimism have on him. he starts with wings and long hair, two things commonly associated with freedom. after his fight with twice, however, which transforms our image of him and which changes the trajectory of his emotional story, he comes out transformed. physically, hawks is no longer the same man who went into the fight. he emerges wingless and with his hair cropped short and his face scarred. he’s completely changed, even losing the things that MAKE HIM hawks. we have to essentially force ourselves to reorient to his physical capabilities after reorienting to his previous display of morality or lack thereof (killing twice). 

then, we’re introduced to lady nagnant and we discover that hawks took her place in silently killing and murdering people who got in the hero commission’s way. we learn, after hawks has been visually transformed, that he was never the hero we thought he was, completing this cycle of emotional and visual transformation. even reading hawks’ interaction with lady nagnant, his expression when she referred to him as “her replacement” demonstrated this deep exhaustion present in hawks from the toll that his hopeful beliefs took on him.

yet hawks still clings to these values which he’s believed in since childhood, endlessly hopeful that the ends will justify the means when the reality is, his upbringing has prevented him from seeing that they are working towards different ends. 

i'd like to hear ur interpretation of hawks if u are open to sharing 🤲🏽 i love hearing you talk abt media and analysis stuff

BELOVED!!! HELLOO AND YES i would love to talk about it though i think i might genuinely ruffle some feathers ajkdkjs but this is just my personal opinion of hawks ! !

one of my main like. gripes with keigos character and how people write hawks is the way they handle his moral reasoning. i think the bnha fandom does this quite a bit where a character who is very obviously meant to be multifaceted is like washed out by one or two actions when those actions aren't derivative of his character.

i find this to be the most egregious in the instance of hawks killing twice. this fight is extremely, extremely complex and i must make it clear that is one of the cruelest actions in the entire series and it is one of hawks worst moments of betrayal and people are allowed to not like him over it

but it doesn't stop me from sympathizing with his character in anyway because this death unlike many before it, starts to change hawks fundamentally (seen in chapter 374)

i think hawks is a character worthy of criticism, but not nearly as much as he is usually subjected to. he's not quite like deku in which he's unable to grasp that hero society needs reform especially because he feels a sense of distaste for the hero commission.

nor is he deluded at any point about the positions of heroes and villains. he is genuine in his effort for reforming, and his compliance with the hero comm. doesn't erase his intent. he prioritizes the public because he is hopeful to the point of denial

his biggest character flaw is more than other things, the sense of detachment he's garnered as a result of his trauma. he's a character who has intellectualized his emotions for nearly his entire life, as proven by his backstory. his sense of victimhood and of being saved is very, very warped because his tactic of survival since childhood has been in some aspect - compartmentalizing his reality. running away. severing his connections much like his parents did.

this is one of the main ways that he and dabi differ. they are quite literally two different responses to intense physical and verbal abuse with dabi being fight and hawks being flight (ironically enough). hawks takes on the role of the good victim, convincing himself it's better to endure everything. he spends his entire childhood like that, and he is only free from that abuse when endeavor comes to save him.

hawks' idolization is another one of those things that people pretty consistently use to derail his character. but i think it's important to recognize that hawks and dabi view endeavor in similar but opposite lights.

their perceptions of him are exacerbated by their circumstances. each of them, respectively, have a relatively extreme / exaggerated view of him. for hawks it was the idea of endeavor and being a savior that allowed to him to survive, and for dabi it was endeavors abuse and the need for vengeance that motivated him to stay alive.

all of that to say - hawks was groomed nearly his entire life to become a hero. he was never given room to process the things he endured, and perhaps the most substantial difference between hawks and dabi is that he is so unbearably isolated from everything. dabi being in the league plays such a huge role in his life but for hawks. he has no friends and his only semblance of self-worth is derived from the idea of Endeavor giving him the time of day and being 'helpful'. he spends nearly his entirely life chasing after the idea of being good and it ruins him in almost every way.

hawks will always be a victim worthy of sympathy to me. his participation in a system that failed him over and over and his hope for that system to change will never allow me to dislike him, even despite the heinous atrocities he's committed against loved ones. he isn't a good person but i don't think he's a bad one either. his obsession with leisure always clues me into the fact that there's probably some part of him that didn't want all this and that sincerely wanted to be good that was absolutely snubbed by the hero commission and it breaks my heart. that's the part of this thats personal and controversial probably.

he feels a lot like a war vet to me. my hope for his arc is that he will realize much in that same vain that this level of corruption needs major reform and that he is able to reflect on that and use his influence in the future for good.

[ignitification]

It’s me the Shigaraki survivalist again lol

It’s cool you don’t agree I guess I just want to get my thoughts out

You said it’s unrealistic for Deku to save Shigaraki and them to work together—but the way I see it is that’s exactly what the story has been building up to. In a world where nothing is really “unrealistic” I really truly think it’s very in the realm of where the story is going. Shigaraki does look tired, because he has never been given a break. The thing is, BNHA isn’t a tragedy! (I think Hawks’s arc will be a tragedy but that’s a whole different discussion)

I just cannot see how Deku will be crowned “the greatest hero who ever lived” meanwhile the one person who needed him most is lying there dead. It just doesn’t feel convincing, especially in a shonen story. As far as the story is concerned, Shigaraki is still a child and never had a chance to grow up (it’s a coming of age story for Deku and Shigaraki). And you can’t celebrate being the greatest hero who ever lived while a “child” is dead. And I 100% expect Shigaraki and Touya to be very difficult to save (kinda like Kota from the training camp arc, but Deku saved him didn’t he?)—they’re gonna decline the help at first obviously. They have no reason to trust heroes, which is why I think Deku and Shoto are going to have to prove that they mean it—and they will, because they do.

I just feel like Shigaraki dying completely cancels out Deku’s main goal of “saving everybody”—which has been his thing since the beginning. Shigaraki was, in the eyes of the narrative, All Might’s responsibility to save, and he failed. Not only is Deku going to have to clean up the OFA/AFO mess, he’s gonna have to clean up the mess that All Might could have prevented (I’m not blaming All Might completely but as far as the story is concerned, and All Might is concerned—he definitely bares some responsibility for Tenko’s fate).

It’s as you said we don’t know what Horikoshi is going to do, but a girl can hope lol

I just don’t feel like the story is going to end with the message of “not everybody can be saved”. I just feel that there is so much more hope in this story than people give it credit for! Shonen typically reeks of hope and optimism, and even now BNHA still has that hopeful, optimistic energy, not grimdark realism. I think Horikoshi will pull this off and it’s gonna be awesome. And if you are right and Shigaraki does die, I honestly will consider it a huge waste of a character who could have and should have been saved, just like Touya, who I also think is 100% going to make it out alive.

Hey, Shigaraki Survivalist!

Glad you’re putting you opinion out here. 

Getting onto matters, I would like to maybe clarify my statement: I do not think it is unrealistic for Shigaraki and Deku to work together (I think rather that it would be absolutely fair, and maybe cathartic) and I do agree that is what is likely to happen, sooner or later. 

As for BNHA not being a tragedy, I think that it already is. Look at how Touya, Shigaraki and the same Izuku grew up: discriminated against, bullied, neglected and abused. If this is not a tragedy, I do not know what is. But if by that you meant that the general mood of the story is supposed to be one of instilling hope and instead letting people know that there is always a way one, and that there is still some possibility of saving if there is a will. I fully agree on that. The themes in BNHA are the real tragedy, but you are absolutely right when you say that the message is ‘People make mistakes. But that’s not the end. They can change and correct those mistakes, apologise, amend. Things can change.’ and not ‘Not everyone can be saved’ (even if, here, I would like to argue that Twice’s death message is exactly that but I don’t want to digress).

Also, not going to lie, I really like the positivity I feel from your message. It puts a smile on my face thinking that there is someone out there fully believing that salvation will come because there is someone who wants it to come. It’s a good thing. It’s a thing I, for one, do not have so thank you for doing that, this really brightened my evening. 

Now, onto a more heavy part of the post. I wanted to talk about All Might, and how he did fail, even if not entirely by himself, to save Shigaraki. First of all, I would like to notice the particular panel which tells us that ‘You can save only those you can reach’. 

This panel is telling in more ways than one. All Might specifically addresses Izuku in saying this, while not literally meaning it (or at least not expecting Izuku to understand it so literally). All Might ( and I talked about it here) is a character which sets up the bar high for Hero standards (and is seen as an idol so far gone, that no one could ever possibly reach him) - and that is exactly why Izuku bears this 'lesson' stoically and tries to save everyone ever more than before. Because if All Might could do it, Izuku feels like he should be able as well (while not considering the disproportion in between them, and I mean in experience and just relatively emotionally).

I mean Izuku feels a high burden with OfA, and to deal with AfO, and sometimes he can get very much extreme - but exactly for that, as you said, he would never feel as if he succeeded if he does not manage to save Shigaraki. Because if All Might is capable of brushing this aside, justifying himself by saying that he couldn't have done anything to prevent it and that it is impossible after all to save everyone, Izuku is not. Izuku feel so deeply that he cries for others, he rages for others, he longs for others with a great smile on his face because that is what it's expected of him.

And he likes to fulfil those expectation, whether that kills him, injuries him or anything else (as we saw him being all bandaged up in 299 and with no sign to recover any soon). 

However, this what I mean when I say that Tomura looks tired: 

He fails to understand how him not being saved is not actually a fault of someone (heroes/society, you name it - even if he does realise much later), but his first instinct as a kid is to blame himself and to tell that this, is is his punishment. He deserved it. And he does deserve to a degree what has happened to him since, because he is guilty of something he will never be able to forgive himself for and that is why he is they he is now.

I do think, that Touya, even being more self-destructive than Shigaraki, is an easier subject to save. I am not saying this because I think Dabi’s trauma or problems are easier to solve, but because Shouto understood him (to some extent) and with the sentence ‘I am him? referring to Touya and his intentions he is unwillingly showing us that Touya’s path to redemption (summed with Endeavour’s arc) are all pointing at Touya being saved, no matter how bad the situation gets. He, still scarred and lonely, does have a family out there caring for him. Or at least wanting to get to the bottom of things and not leave him to burn to death, alone. Again.

Shigaraki, on the other hand, does not have such a thing. Kurogiri has been captured, AfO is using him and the only guy who thought of Tomura as a human being, other than a bad villain, is Deku. I do not want say that this is not enough, but with all the burden that Izuku is already carrying at the moment, can he also bear on himself the weight of saving Shigaraki? I really hope he does, but as anyway as it will be, I think that Deku will try. He will try to get that hand reaching out to Tomura and even if skeptical about it, I hope Shigaraki takes the chance and takes it. He does deserve a break. He deserves a blanket, a cup of steaming tea and a hot long nap in a warm bed. A hug is optional. 

One of the themes I never touched upon is also, the found family of the League and Hawks. I really am waiting for more insight into the League’s members feeling for Twice, and maybe holding a funeral. I am also waiting for them to discuss Hawks. 

On which, my last point for this post: Hawks’ story, serves as a parallel to Dabi’s. We see how the abuse can bring to two extremes: one becoming a villain and focusing on hate, and the other focusing on idolising and becoming a hero (and in the meantime trying to forget everything else). I want Hawks to face consequences for his actions, and I want him to understand that he, too, is a victim and that atoning for his father’s crimes is not the way to go. He also needs to break free of the past and let go. I really hope that instead of clinging into past ideals and Endeavour, he realises that there is something highly wrong with the society he is fundamental part of and that he break free. If he doesn’t, as has been already put out there by some amazing posts I read, it will after all end in tragedy. Once a friend told me how Hawks was a tragic hero, and I might disagree but I do think that the name is fitting. But it’s not like that will change things. Only we can - and I hope everyone realises that.

-

p.s. Look at this panel, during the last moments of fight between Shigaraki and Deku.

And after that the realization of Izuku, that Shigaraki, who he does want to save is not only suffering internally, but as well externally, because of AfO and whatever is going on. Exhausted beyong recognition.

Look at Shigaraki's form. He looks like he is right about to collapse. There is a hand stretched out, in help, in resignation, in sadness, in pain. But his other hand is almost clenching, hard, noy wanting to let go. Tomura is after all trying to fight the entity within him, while also trying not to lose himself and look out for everything that might come in its way outside.

And finally, there is someone who looks through the hand on his hand, through the cracks of his identity, through every wall Tomura has put in between himself and others in order to protect them, and himself, from the absolute monster he thinks he is.

And it's, at the same time both ironic and daunting how these same words are also the works Deku speaks to Kacchan while saving him from the Sludge Villains. There is a direct parallel between Katsuki, who had hated Deku while being afraid of being inferior to him and that did not want his helo because he would feel too weak, and Shigaraki, who has no will of getting himself saved by anyone, but especially by the kid that denied him the objective of gaining OfA and defeating everything and the same kid who seems to feel something other than disgust for him. Both Katsuki and Shigaraki are opposites to Izuku.

So, if Izuku saved Kacchan, who in return saved Deku after accepting the fact that he and Izuku, are, after all, hero AND friends who care about each other, it would be nice to see where this is going to go with Tomura. And see if, maybe, just maybe, it is possible for Shigaraki to stop being Shigaraki and be Shimura Tenko instead.

[lixis-sin-cauldron]

The Princess and The Hawk [Hawks | Keigo Takami] Pt. 1

Part Two: Available Here Rating: Explicit  18+ content MINORS DNI. Pairing:  Keigo Takami (Hawks) X fem!reader Word Count: 6.9k Kinks and Warnings: Animal Violence, Blood

Summary: A dull routine, every day like the last. You're comfortable, if a little lonely. Who knew a simple walk home could change so much? Can also be read on Ao3 here: The Princess and The Hawk Big thank you to my lovely beta reader @lilleeboi 

Passing through the park to get home after work was your main way to de-stress after dealing with customers all day, the time of day left the area fairly empty and the fall air carried the wonderful scents of the season that wafted through the trees and flowers. Normally, it was the most calming part of your day. Normally.

Today, you were startled out of your calm daze by the screeching and hissing of two animals going at each other. Your eyes snapped toward the source of the noise, a twisting ball of fur a few meters ahead, beside the park walkway. Correction: a twisting ball of fur and feathers.

A large grey tabby had somehow been able to snag a very large brown bird that was currently doing its best to fend the feline off as it tried going for the bird’s throat, its talons pushing against the cat’s stomach, a smear of red in the fur where it pressed.

Nature is intense, you thought.

You knew better than to interrupt, they were both wild animals, predators that killed to feed and survive, you had no right to push your human views onto the fight. Wanting to return to your calm mindset, you hurried by the unsettling sight, willing your shaky legs forward. You didn't want to think of the fate that awaited the loser.

As the scuffle disappeared out of sight behind you, you heard a hoarse squawk that felt as if it was directed at you. Involuntarily, you turned to see the cat had gained the upper hand. It had pinned the bird on its stomach and was about to clamp down its jaw on the nape of its neck in a killing blow.

Your eyes met the bird’s, a striking golden-brown, and it seemed to be crying for help with its stare.

Forgoing your previous judgment – unable to ignore the desperate plea – you rushed towards the pair, slipped your purse off, and swung it with full force. It connected cleanly against the tabby just before it was able to land its killing blow. It tumbled backward, and after rolling for a moment, righted itself and turned towards you and its stolen prey. It stared you down, hissing deeply, then wincing. It let loose another deep hiss before retreating.

Heart pounding, you took a deep breath and looked at the bird that you had saved, almost positive it wouldn’t be there – having flown off when it was freed. However, there it remained, resting in the grass, its chest heaving just like yours.

“Oh geez,” Taking to your knees you hovered hands over the wounded avian, unsure of what to do. “Please don’t die.”

The bird shifted, trying to stand and move its wings, as if in response to your plea to prove it was fine. However, as it stretched its left-wing it flinched, wobbled for a moment, and collapsed back to the dirt.

You whimpered, unsure of what to do. It was clearly hurt, if you left it alone there was a good chance it would be attacked again or just die of its wounds anyway.

Ugh, why did I do that? There was no point in intervening, it’s going to die either way.

The bird still heaved, giving you a sideways stare. It seemed to study you with its gaze and tried moving again, letting out a cry as it did. Your heart gave a pang at the sight; it clearly wanted to live. How could you just leave it after stepping in?

“Do-don’t move,” you stuttered, reaching forward, “I’ll bring you to a vet, they’ll help you.”

Surprisingly, the bird gave no resistance to your touch. When you found trouble grasping it, especially while trying not to hurt it in the process, you peeled off your light jacket and gently wrapped the fowl in that. Once sure you had a hold that didn’t cause further damage, you raced off in the direction of the nearest animal clinic you could find.

“He’s pretty beat up, but nothing life-threatening,” The Veterinary nurse explained, softly running a thumb over the bird’s crown, its plumage fluttering at the touch. “We cleaned the cuts and the left-wing has a small hairline fracture. It’s been properly set but will need at least 2 to 3 weeks to fully heal, so we wrapped the wing so it can’t move. You’ll need to-”

“Wait, me? Why do I have to?” you were glad to hear the animal would be okay, but you were alarmed to hear they expect you to take care of it.

They looked at you in surprise, “Isn’t he yours?”

“No!” You waved your hands frantically, “I found it being attacked and just… stepped in. I don’t even know what breed it- err, he is. Let alone how to care for him.”

“That’s surprising, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an exotic bird just randomly being found like that.”

“Exotic?”

“Yes, this handsome man is a Red-Tailed Hawk. They’re a North American bird. For it to be in Japan that means it was brought here and must have an owner, so I just assumed that was you.”

“O-oh.” You can’t say you were that surprised at the revelation, you had never seen a bird that looked like the hawk. A closer examination showed that it wasn’t just brown, but a beautiful mix of dark brown, white, and tan. Along with strikingly red tail feathers that you had been sure at the time was blood.

“This one seems very special too, normally the tail feathers are more of a cinnamon-red.” The nurse provided, seeming to have followed your thought process, “He’s very well cared for and in amazing shape, aside from the scuffle. If he hadn’t been grounded due to the wing, I doubt that cat would have ever touched him or stood a chance if it had been able to.”

“The cat didn’t do that?”

“The fracture is very clean; an animal’s bite would have crushed the bone.”

“Oh, that’s good… I guess?” you studied the hawk, resting in a box filled with a plush towel that the clinic had provided, he was perfectly calm under the expert’s touch. You were sure the calm state was in part of the fact he was full of painkillers at the moment, but you had an urge to follow the example and pet the resting creature yourself. You held back though, instead returning to your original topic, “Uh, as I said, he’s not mine so are… you guys able to take him since he’s a lost pet?”

Their strokes of the feather head ceased, instead rising up to scratch their forehead, “Sometimes we do that, sure, but right now we’re a little full plus it normally best for a bird sanctuary to take them but in this case….”

 “In this case…?”

“They’re trained and equipped to handle local wildlife and such. With this being an exotic breed, they wouldn’t take it in due to the trouble it could cause.”

“So… what does that mean for him? You said it would take a few weeks for the wing to heal, so he can’t fly and as a pet, he may not survive even if he could fly.” You had an idea of where the conversation was heading but you really hoped you were wrong.

“There are a few places I could check to see if they could take him in while they searched for the owner, but with how late it is I’d have to wait until tomorrow to contact them and they may not be able to take him right away even if they could…”

You sighed, “Would it be… hard to take care of him for a few days?”

The nurse beamed, happy to hear you volunteering, “Given his condition, no, not really,” They picked up a bag that had been sitting on the table beside the bird’s box and pulled out the contents. “The pain medication would keep him mellow for the most part, so even if he wasn’t such a gentleman,” They preened at the bird, commenting on how composed he had been during the whole ordeal. “You wouldn’t have much trouble handling him. You just need to apply this one orally every twice a day and this one on the cuts—”

You struggled into your apartment, the box in your arms, and your keys fighting for dominance as you unlocked the door. The keys lost and fumbled to the ground as the door teetered open.

“Fuckbucket," you cursed.

Leaving them on the ground, you carried the precious cargo past your couch and to the dining room table at the far edge of the small apartment and set it down as carefully as possible. The hawk had fallen asleep during your travel home and you were very keen to keep it that way.

After ensuring he wasn’t going to wake, you returned to the entrance and retrieved your keys as well as the shopping bag that rested next to the doorway.

While the clinic had been happy to give advice on how to care for the bird, and even charging just the cost of the visit and nothing else – you’d still had to call a ride-share to take the bird home and even stop at a pet store to purchase things to help care for him. Since it wasn’t like you actually owned anything to use while he lived with you.

A big piece of advice to make a safe space for the hawk to rest since you wouldn’t have a cage to place it in, free-roaming was the preferred option if it felt well enough to move around. They also provided a contact line to call if he suddenly became violent. While the wounded wing was wrapped, he couldn’t fly but the talons and beak could still cause damage if you weren’t careful. They would contact you as well once they had a place for him to go while the owner was being looked for.

Stretching with an exhausted sigh, your gaze returned to the box and found the hawk now awake and his head now resting on the edge watching you with glazed eyes.

“Uh, hi,” You blinked, wondering why you had just greeted an animal. Though he definitely didn’t feel like an animal when you locked eyes with him. You had a disconcerting feeling when he looked at you like he was analyzing you.

He let out a weak squawk in reply to the greeting.

“Right…” you decided to just go with it, picking up the purchased items you approached the table cautiously and started setting up an area next to the box with feed and water, “So, you’ll be staying with me for a bit, just while you heal and we find your home.”

He ruffled his feathers as the word ‘home’. You weren’t sure how to take that if it even meant anything to start with.

“So, if you can… I don’t know, not cause too much trouble, that would be great. Think you can do that for me, buddy?” You asked, holding out a hesitant hand to him, curled so the back of your fingers were present.

He stared at the extended appendage and you were sure he was going to bite you, but he leaned forward and rubbed his cheek against your knuckles.

Your heart fluttered, a smile blossoming across your face at the sight. He suddenly seemed a lot less frightening to you; realizing that he was tired and sore, and maybe even thankful to have a safe place after what he had experienced.

He withdrew his touch and curled in the box, head under his free wing and only a moment later, gentle snoring could be heard."

Wish I could fall asleep that fast. You snorted, laughing at the idea of envying a drugged-up fowl.

The concept of sleep did appeal very strongly after the evening you’d had; so, you ate a quick dinner, showered, and slipped into your bed, leaving the door ajar in case you needed to access the living/dining space quickly.

Your oversized t-shirt hung off your shoulder loosely, your underwear peeking out from underneath as your arms stretched above your head while walking into your tiny kitchen. After withdrawing a bottle of water from the fridge, you lazily looked around your home as you sipped it. You sputtered as your eyes fell upon the box resting on the table, coughing harshly as you forced the water from your lungs, having forgotten the previous day’s events in your sleepy state.

The box was tipped over sideways, the towel in a bundle on the table.

“No, no, no,” you chanted, rushing over and looking around for the wounded animal, “Where-” the words caught as the towel squirmed, the dark brown hawk head popping out from beneath it. “Oh, thank god.”

You were wide awake now.

“You scared the living hell out of me, buddy,” you reached forward and ran a knuckle across his crown, enjoying the softness. You leaned over, reaching eye level with him, “You have a nightmare or something?” You cooed.

You noticed his eyes drift, losing connection with yours, and move downwards, his head giving a tilt as they settled. You followed his gaze and realized you were giving the bird a clear view right down your shirt, where you were currently braless. You reacted instantly, straightening yourself and holding the shirt close to your bosom with a flushed face.

It’s a bird! you reminded yourself, He was probably just reacting to the fabric moving. He’s probably hungry. I need to give him his medicine, too.

Calming your nerves, you retrieved the small bag with medication. “Hey, buddy, you probably don’t feel great right? This will help numb that pain. You mind letting me put this in your mouth?” You held a syringe up, filled with a paste, and capped with a rubber tip that you could slide into his beak.

He seemed to glower at the suggestion, and you were starting to dread having to force his beak open when he shoved the towel off his back and stood up wobbling.

“Wow, you’re very clever, aren’t you? ” you exclaimed.

He huffed at the praise, parting his beak marginally to allow the tip to slide in. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, you carefully slid the syringe tip into his mouth and pushed the plunger just enough to provide the proper dose as you had been instructed.

The hawk reacted negatively, chomping his beak and twisting his head, evidently not enjoying the taste of the medicine. He strode over the water bowl resting on the tabletop and dunked his beak into the water, small bubbles rolling the surface as he guzzled down the liquid.

The sight was so shocking, you couldn’t help but start laughing, your chest heaved as you gasped for air between your cackles.

The hawk, having finished his drink, seemed unimpressed with your reaction.

“Oh, come on,” you chided after regaining your composure. “That was hilarious. Geez, I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. Thanks for that, buddy.”

He shook, his feathers fluffing, then turned and pushed himself back under the towel, clearly unamused.

“Aw, baby’s embarrassed.” You cooed with another chuckle before returning to the kitchen and fixing yourself some breakfast. Once you’d eaten you returned to him to refill the water bowl he had downed and finally noticed that the bowl with the bird feed had been overturned at some point, most likely when he had flipped the box during the night.

“Can you not make a mess of the apartment?” You nagged, cleaning the mess, and refilling the bowl. He gave no reaction, his bright red tail the only visible part sticking out from under the towel. You gently poked the protruding feathers, feeling him lurch in surprise at the touch, “Hey, make sure you eat, you’ll feel horrible with no food in your stomach.”

The hawk rolled under the towel, sticking his head out to glower at the bowl and then you.

“Someone’s in a foul mood,” You blinked, then grinned. “Pun not intended.”

You could swear he rolled his eyes.

Just as you were about to comment on the action, your phone alarm went off. You groaned, “Time for work,” You studied the bird and the sideways box. “They said free roaming would be best since I don’t have a pen or cage big enough for you…” You shifted a dining room chair so it was angled against the table. “If, uh, you want to get down just use this instead of trying to fly… okay?”

His reply was crawling back under the towel, making sure to be completely hidden this time.

Still talking to a bird.

You grumbled something nonsensical, then returned to your room to change your clothes. Once ready to go, you padded towards your door, pulling your hair into a ponytail and glanced at the lump under the towel, and wondered if you should try and call off instead. You decided against it, knowing there was little you could change by staying home.

“I’ll… be back before you need more meds,” you called out. No reaction. You sighed, wondering why you felt like there would be, and exited your home.

You were more than relieved when you returned home and found it in the same condition you had left it that morning. In fact, you realized as you checked for damages, it seemed as if the bird hadn’t moved the entire time you’d been at work. You trailed over to the table and saw that he was where you had left him, snoozing away under the towel, his beak barely protruding.

“I’m home,” you said softly, running a fingertip over the exposed beak.

He let out a soft cooing sound at the touch, wiggling enough to expose his head and look at you with his intense golden eyes.

“Hey, buddy.”

Another coo with a head tilt so he rested on his cheek as he stared, seeming somewhat dazed.

“You okay?” you asked worriedly, he had been more responsive until now. You were about to call the clinic when you saw that the feed bowl had not been touched at all, no dip in the seed to indicate that he had moved anything within. “You haven’t eaten at all?” you declared, picking up the bowl. “I told you-” you paused and sighed, wondering once again why you spoke to an animal like he understood you.

“Do you not like this brand or blend or something?” you muttered. You pulled out your phone to see what type of bird feed was best for him. You realized something unfortunate. Voles, rats, rabbits… “I bought the wrong type of food.” You groaned. You had been in such a rush to get back to the rideshare you had just grabbed the recommended bag of bird feed, not even thinking to make sure that your new roommate could actually eat it.

You didn’t really have any prey type meat just lying around your kitchen. He needed to eat something.

 “Ugh, maybe I can mix some… gravy or something into the seed. Maybe that will work for him until I can get something better.” You left the avian to stride over to the kitchen, opening the fridge in search of an additive to spur the bird’s appetite since, according to Google, he could eat the seed if he had to, but was just choosing not to.

Before you had really started your search the hawk let out a low screech, pulling your attention back to him. Your head snapped over in reaction, surprised to see him standing on the table and eyeballing you, giving a strong feeling of a hunter studying its prey.

“Uh, what’s up, buddy?” you asked nervously.

He shifted his weight between his feet for a few moments before dipping his head down and hooking his beak around the brim of the metal feed bowl. Once gripped, he raised his head, bringing the bowl with and held it in the air for a second while he fought to keep balance at the sudden weight. You were about to call out for him to stop, in case he got hurt, when he thrust his head downwards and released the bowl.

The bowl bounced off the tabletop and tumbled to the floor, spinning. Feed flew all around him, covering the table and floor.

Stunned, you didn’t move, the apartment filled with the sounds of the bowl spinning in place before settling with a dull clunk. The hawk arched his back and let out a defiant squawk at you, finalizing the production you’d just witnessed.

You blinked, processing what had just occurred before standing up, furious, “Are you serious?” you snapped at the proud bird. “You – that – I said don’t make – I don’t even- Okay!” You shouted, unable to process your thoughts, “I get it, you don’t want the damn seed but what the fuck. I have to clean all this up! That- you-”

I’m shouting a bird.

You sighed, cupping your face in your hands and letting out a long groan. What the hell was wrong with this bird, you had never met an animal that was so damn- you didn’t even know how to describe it.

“Let me see what I have,” you hissed at the fowl, wondering if hawk tasted like chicken.

Hm, chicken...

You returned to your excavation of the fridge and found the pack of chicken breasts you had intended to cook the night before when you had been planning to be home earlier and not as tired as you ended up being.

Guess I can make this tonight and share some with him. Not that you found him worthy of this type of treat at the moment.

“Wait… Can hawks eat chicken? Isn’t that like-” your sentence was interrupted by the bird giving a squawk, he was shifting his weight between his feet again but more in an excited dance than a show as before. “What? You like chicken?”

Another squawk.

“Fine.” Ripping the package open, pulling one breast out, and to your cutting board. A few minutes later you set down a bowl of the raw meat in front of him, cut into bite-sized cubes for easier consumption.

He stared at the bowl, suddenly seeming reluctant.

“Oh, what now?” You groaned, pitching your brow.

Fluffing his feathers and looking at you, his gaze shifted to behind you back towards the kitchen.

“What, you want more?”

He huffed and bowed his head, though that lasted only a moment before he held it high again and had a confident look as if having set his mind to something. Wobbling, he padded to the edge of the table and hooked his beak into the dining chair you had set up that morning for him and started climbing down it.

You found the process fascinating, surprised by his sudden burst of energy. Stepping out of the way, you watched as he landed on the tiled floor, starting his way to the kitchen by hopping and tapping along while doing his best to keep balance. He reached the middle of the area and stood in front of the oven. He was panting, having worn himself out with the exercise. However, he wasn’t done, clearly wanting to strike home just what he was thinking, as he bent his head forward and tapped his forehead against the metal appliance, repeating the gesture softly a few times before stopping and resting it there, turning to look at you to ensure you were watching and understood.

“I’m guessing that means you want it cooked.”

The confirmation seemed to be correct, as he gave a weak note in reply and slid to the floor, exhausted by his show; he landed softly on his back, feet in air.

You stepped up to him and bent down, gently brushing the plumage of his stomach, “You are the most spoiled pet I have ever seen. Fine, I’ll cook the damn chicken. Don’t expect anything fancy, though.”

He only let out a long exhale in reply.

You returned the tired bird to the table, grabbed the bowl of chicken cubes, and began once again to prepare the request. A quick check on the phone and you decided to just boil the meat, not adding any spices or extras since that could hurt his stomach. You also did a double-check and removed any excess fat, noting that also wasn’t great for him

While the cubes boiled, you made yourself your own meal, a mouthwatering bowl of katsu over rice.

You set the boiled meat down in front of the starving avian. “Happy?” You sighed, hoping he would finally eat something.

He huffed at the bowl, as if contemplating how to also toss it in a showy fashion, then bent his head and took a cube. He chomped down on it and shivered. Pausing for a moment, he tilted his head in contemplation then bent again to grab another.

“Glad to see it’s good enough for your refined palate.”

Grabbing your own meal, you plopped down at the table opposite the bird and started eating while browsing your phone. You were only a few bites in when you noticed the hawk leaning over you, staring at the bowl.

“Noooo. No!” you pulled the bowl close to your chest, “You have your chicken, this is mine! And fried foods are bad for birds.”

He fluffed, giving you what you could only describe as puppy dog eyes.

How???

You grumbled, “One bite, one!”  You pinched a piece of katsu with your chopsticks, making a small bird-sized piece, and lifted the morsel for the bird to take. He did so eagerly, snatching the piece and sliding it down his throat.

He let out a contented coo.

“Glad you like it- No,” you snapped as he started giving the same look once again. “I said one, and I meant it! I’m in charge here, mister!”

He seemed to relent, his shoulders slumping then he tilted his head again, a contemplative look in his eyes.

“Wha- Uh.” Your voice caught as he slipped off the table into your lap and pressed himself into your chest, nuzzling you. You held back a squeal of delight at the surprising cuteness of the hawk while holding your food in the air with one hand. “That’s a dirty move and I refuse-”

He cooed, looking up at you with big eyes.

“One more.”

He gave a rumbling sound of happiness as he downed the next piece, continuing to snuggle you.

You set the bowl down and gave your full attention to the large bird, amazed at how affectionate he was. You ran your fingers through his feathers, finding soft down. You lost yourself to the petting; he seemingly enjoyed the pampering. You were unsure how, but you were now at the injured fowl’s mercy.

Both of you jumped as your phone went off in your pocket, interrupting the cuddle session. Holding him still, you retrieved it and answered quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hi, there! This is y/n?”

“Uh, yeah… this is?”

“I’m calling from the animal clinic! You brought the lovely red-tail hawk in yesterday?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry I didn’t expect you to call so soon!”

“No worries! Hope I’m not bothering. Are you okay to talk?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Great! I wanted to let you know that one of the rescue centers we work with is able to take the darling in. They can have someone swing by ASAP if you like.”

“Oh, already?” you eyed the animal resting in your arm.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I just- I thought it would take a few days.”

“…would you prefer to have their number? That way when you’re… ready, you can call them, and they can come by?”

You pursed your lips, suddenly unsure of yourself. You were in no position to have a pet, especially a predator… yet you found yourself reluctant to let him go. In the short time he had been there, you had laughed and smiled more than you had for a while. It was a welcome disruption to your dull life.

“Yeah… I’d like that.”

They let out a small chuckle, “Sure thing. I’ll let them know. They’ve also posted a bulletin about him, to help track down the owner.”

“Oh, that’s great. I hope they get found, he’s very… special. I’m sure he’s missed.”

“I’m glad to hear he’s doing well! Please feel free to reach out to us or the center if you have any questions or trouble.”

“Will do… thanks.”

Great. Just great. You sighed as you hung up and studied the bird nestled against your breast.

“Welp, I’m crazy. You’re stuck with me for a bit longer, hope you’re okay with that, buddy.”

He nuzzled further into you as if saying thanks for letting him stay.

“Guess if… you’re staying I should give you a name?”

He straightened at that and locked eyes, staring you down fiercely. Clearly, he found the matter very important.

You gave a nervous chuckle, “Don’t have high hopes there, I’m far from great at naming things, bud.” you paused, considering your statement. “Actually, I think I’ve already named you. How does ‘Buddy’ sound?”

He made a disgruntled noise but proceeded to bury himself back into your chest, nuzzling the fabric of your shirt, springing faintly against the fat of your breasts.

“Welp, best you get… Speaking of you getting things, you’re due for your next batch of meds.”

He was less than pleased with the reminder of the foul-tasting substance.

The following morning you woke not to your alarm, but with a start to the sound of someone talking in your living room, the sound seeping in through the ajar door. Your heart raced with panic as you attempted to make sense of the sound. Slipping from the bed and grabbing the wooden bat you kept at your bedside for such events, you approached the door, glancing around the frame to see who dared to enter your abode. Mind whirling, you expected to see masked figures looting your home or-

Buddy! The bird had been asleep on the table when you had gone to bed. What if they hurt him during their looting!

Forgoing your own safety, you rushed out into the open area, only lit by the dim morning sun through the shaded balcony glass door. You reached the couch, brandishing the bat, ready to swing in a moment’s notice. Surveying the room, you found the source of the talking – the television.

Buddy was perched on the couch, the remote next to him, staring at the television. It was on a news channel, going over the latest hero and villain activities.

“What the hell!” you screeched, lowering the bat.

The bird’s head snapped towards you, having not heard your approach. He reacted at your appearance, flapping his free wing and giving a surprised cry.

“You scared the living hell out of me - again! Stop doing that, my heart can only take so much!” You reached for the remote. “How the hell did you even turn that on? I was sure I left it on the ta-” you cut off, reeling your hand back as Buddy jumped atop the device, blocking you from it.

You blinked, confused, “Are… you watching that?”

He squawked in confirmation.

“You are not a normal bird.”

He seemed happy at your realization, fluffing his feathers and stepping off the remote, laying down next to it, and returning his gaze to the screen.

“Whatever, I’m up now. Guess I’ll make breakfast.”

He gave an excited chirp at the suggestion.

“Yeah, yeah. Yours too.”

You joined the fowl on the couch while you ate, giving him another bowl of boiled meat – which he ate disgruntledly.

“I’ll have to swing by the store after work, see how much discount meat I can get you… wonder if the pet store will take back a barely used bag of feed…”

You were already getting used to speaking to the bird, speaking aloud your random thoughts as you went about your morning routine. Cleaning up, giving him his meds, prepping his food and water for while you were gone. You were enjoying the addition he was adding to your day and being able to talk to someone as well – especially since he did provide a type of reply. You enjoyed it so much so that you were reluctant when your alarm for work went off.

“Back to the grind,” you sighed, trudging to your bedroom closet to change out of your nightshirt. “ Was a bit chilly yesterday, should get my spare jacket.” You hadn’t gotten a chance to wash the one from the night you saved Buddy, and you weren’t eager to use a bloody jacket. You spotted the spare folded on the closet shelf, resting under a box.

You pulled the clothing free while doing your best to keep the box in place – your best wasn’t good enough, since just as you were sure it was free, it snagged, and the box joined in the escapade. You tumbled to the ground as the object hit you, its contents partially falling out onto you and the floor.

“Owww,” you whined, rubbing your butt. After regaining yourself, you examined the mess you had created and instantly regretted trying to retrieve the spare jacket, your eyes tearing up at the box’s contents.

It was just a random assortment of objects, all-male ordinated – a razor, a pair of jeans and two t-shirts, a hairbrush, some socks, and other miscellaneous items.

“Dammit…” you mumbled, trying to hold back sobs. With everything that had happened the past two days you had actually forgotten the damn thing was in your closet for the first time in months.

Your self-pity was interrupted as you felt something soft press against your arm. You looked over and saw Buddy standing beside you looking concerned, the sound from the tumble must have drawn him into your room to check on you.

“I’m okay… I’m not crying ‘cause I’m hurt. Promise,” you inhaled deeply, trying to steady your nerves, and started collecting the fallen items back into the box. “It’s a bit silly to cry over.”

He tilted his head in question.

“It’s just some stuff my ex left behind. I should just burn it…” Maybe because you were so used to just saying whatever you wanted to the hawk, you kept following the train wreck of your thoughts, “He cheated on me but somehow worked it to him being the one to break up when I confronted him. I should be glad he’s gone but… here I am, pining over some asshole and his discarded laundry.” Despite your best effort, you started sobbing, “How pathetic am I-”

Buddy pressed into your arm once again, cutting the tirade, and gave a small coo.

You pulled the bird into your arms, holding him close and pressing your face into him, your tears rolling over the water-proof feathers. You stayed like that for a time, buddy not even trying to pull from your embrace. You let him slip from you, your sobs dying away. You felt tired and wanted to crawl back in bed, but work was waiting.

“Thanks.” You mumbled, rubbing Buddy’s cheek. You finished gathering the items, stood, and stared at the box.

Just throw it away.

Your grip trembled as you held it.

Get rid of it.

You slid the box back onto the shelf.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you murmured, glancing away from the concerned hawk.

Time slipped by after that, a new routine being built around your new roommate. You had moments of conflict due to his strange personality, but overall, you enjoyed having him in your home. Even with the dip into your finances that he caused, between meat and clinic visits. Another interesting addition to your day was how your mornings always had a little surprise from him. Mainly him doing something to jolt you awake since he seemed to be a very early riser.

This morning, however, had one of your preferred surprises, your eyelids felt heavy as your brain booted up and registered the light snoring that was taking place next to you. You blinked, looking around for the source, and found the fowl resting next to you, on his back feet in the air and head lolling, on an open pillow.

Giving a sheepish grin, you watched him for a bit, seeing him twitch in his sleep. You had come to terms with his abnormal behavior, your research into the breed showing he did not act like other red-tails or even just other birds in general.

“Buddy,” you purred, reaching over and shaking a talon lightly.

His eyes popped open and then blinked slowly, fighting away his own sleepiness. He turned over and quivered, his feathers fluffing and head jerking.

“Morning.” You giggled, enjoying the show, before turning in the bed and burying your face into the pillow, reluctant to get up. Looking back at him, you saw him observing you intently. Just another thing you’d gotten used to, the way he seemed to examine you up and down with a focused gaze randomly.

You gave a smirk, peering back through your messy hair before pushing yourself up to sit on your knees and stretching your arms up above your head, your joints popping satisfactorily. As always with your nightshirt, it raised with the motion, exposing your thighs to view.

Buddy rolled as you stretched, your movement causing him to be displaced from his resting place, his head landing softly against those thighs as they cushioned the tumble.

“That wasn’t convincing at all,” you laughed, tugging the shirt to the side to lock eyes with the endearing avian. He was very affectionate, finding any way he found to cuddle with you when possible. With a yawn, you checked your phone for the time and saw a reminder on the lock screen. “Oh right! We better get ready; we have the vet appointment today. Your wing should be all healed up!”

As always, the hawk gave a human-like reaction, quickly straightening himself and giving an excited shriek at the announcement.

Buddy wouldn’t stop extending his freed wing as he rested on the perch at the front desk while you signed the paperwork for the visit.

“Calm down, you,” you laughed, glad to see him so happy.

“So, you really plan to keep him?” The nurse asked, grinning at the sight of the overjoyed bird as well.

“I mean… his owner hasn’t been found and he’s not a wild bird. I’ve gotten used to him, so it just seemed best?”

“I think it’s great. He’s lucky you found him. Uh, do you have a leash?”

Buddy flapped and shrieked in disapproval at the remark.

“I saw bird leashes were a thing, but he’s so well behaved I wasn’t sure I should get one?”

“I get your reasoning, but he could fly off, he’s already gotten lost and in trouble once.”

“That’s true…” you looked Buddy over, seeing his hunched shoulders, “Do I need to leash you, bud?”

With a quick flap, he glided off the perch and onto your shoulder, being careful not to cut you with his talons as he steadied himself.

“Wow, you have him wrapped around your finger.”

“I think we’ll be okay.” You decided, scratching Buddy’s chin.

Finishing off the paperwork you exited the clinic, the hawk still perched on your shoulder, sure you were an interesting sight for those you passed. You walked with an eye on your phone, swiping through various avian products.

“We should get you proper stuff, perches, and such, for the apartment. We’ve been making do with the makeshift setup, but now that you’re staying we should-”

He shifted harshly, drawing your attention to him. He was staring intensely down the street, where a store had various televisions on display in a window, an assortment of shows airing with captions turning on. You sighed and approached the display, knowing the bird’s inclination for news. Sure enough, his preferred channel was airing on one of the displays.

“Just for a minute, okay?” you stated, returning to your shopping as he stared at the moving pictures. You kept your word and started to move shortly after, but Buddy gave a loud shriek in protest when you did so, his eyes still focused on the display. “Hey, what’s gotten into you?” You looked at the screen, finally paying attention to the content.

“-the villain has been in a coma since the intense battle with Hawks, so he has yet to be able to answer any questioning as to the whereabouts of the missing number two hero and the other heroes that disappeared-”

You let out a surprised hiss as you felt Buddy’s talons dig into your shoulder, it didn’t hurt thanks to the padding of your coat, but it caught you off guard after how careful he always was. However, before you could reprimand the action, he launched himself and flapped his wings quickly, taking off into the air.

You stared at the hawk as he soared, at first impressed by the way he moved so easily after just getting the wrapping removed, then distraught as you saw him continue to fly away.

“…Buddy?”

——Tag List ——

(Please check this post if you would like to be included!)

@thisisthehardestthing​ @cheeriecherry​ @mindninjax​

[todomitoukei]

The Todoroki Family & The Umbrella Academy

disclaimer: contains spoilers for bnha chapter 291 & The Umbrella Academy season 1&2

For a while I thought there were mainly parallels between Shouto and Vanya from the Umbrella Academy, two characters who were isolated from their siblings growing up, but now with chapter 290 and 291 giving us a bit more information on Touya and a lot of people claiming he is in the wrong, I feel like it’s helpful to look at the parallels between Dabi and Vanya and how that can show us the possibilities concerning the Todoroki family’s future:

both have the strongest power in their family

end up being ignored by their father and told they’re not as powerful as their sibling(s)

end up isolating themselves from the whole family

expose their family’s secrets to the public

The last part is where the current bnha story ends, so we don’t know whether the aftermath is going to be similar, but let’s look at what happened then in the Umbrella Academy.

the siblings hold a grudge against her for it, not necessarily because of the exposure itself but because they’re all portrayed in a negative way

when they find out that she has powers, some of the siblings view her as a threat, but Allison actually stands up for her and tries to help her

them isolating her throughout the season leads to her causing the apocalypse, further painting her as a threat

while some of the siblings in season 2 still think they should stay away from her, they do end up treating her like a person and being on her side

Obviously not every family has to deal with things the same. But what I like about tUA is that it shows how differently people can react to the same person/events, and that they can change their opinions later down the line.

It’s understandable that some people disagree with Dabi’s decision to expose their family because of the negative effects this can have on the rest of the family that isn’t Endeavor, especially Shouto, whose whole career is essentially going to be about being a public figure.

But you also can’t decide how they’re going to react for them, nor can you say with certainty that they are going to be angry with him because of this.

In contrast to Vanya, Dabi didn’t speak ill of anyone in the family aside from Endeavor. Unlike some people in the fandom, he is not saying “Well, we were a happy family until Shouto came along and ruined everything.” He is not holding a personal grudge against Shouto, because he never really got to know him in the first place.

To Dabi, Shouto is simply the living proof of him having failed as successor. Shouto’s birth was the turning point in his relationship with Endeavor, and for the longest time it was his goal to kill Shouto in the future, but only because Shouto represents what Touya wasn’t able to be.

And yes, Dabi is a villain, someone who has attacked and hurt people and put people’s lives at risk for his own personal goal of getting back at Endeavor. He’s not denying that, though. Also, let’s not forget if you want to bring up Kyushu to prove he put innocent people at risk - Hawks knew about it and didn’t stop it. He risked people’s lives just as much.

People love to be woke about mental health, and whenever there’s stories circulating online about real life abuse victims who speak up about their abuse or even get back at their abuser (in whatever way) - they are celebrated. And rightfully so because coming forward with something so deeply personal and traumatizing, exposing yourself to the public in a way that might stick with you forever is hard and not everyone can do that. But why do people suddenly draw the line at a fictional character who is the personification of how harmful the glorification and idolization of heroes in the bnha universe is. How heroes, who are supposed to protect citizens, are also capable of turning citizens into villains and get away with it.

Dabi isn’t someone who decided to run away from home as a teenager and just stick it to the man. He is someone who has been bred for a specific purpose and once his creator gave up on him, got tossed aside. For years he tried to reclaim his spot, to regain his father’s approval, attention and love, things he used to get, but suddenly were all taken away from him because he wasn’t good enough in his father’s eyes. And for a child, someone whose brain is still in development, it’s crucial to receive care and attention from its parents. Being denied that has negative, long-lasting impacts on the further development, more so than on an adult with a fully developed brain.

He is severly traumatized and was driven to insanity. Did he hurt Shouto by kidnapping his friend during his summer camp? Yes. Did he risk his family’s life by sending Ending to his family home? Yes. But his mind is only filled with the obsession of ruining Endeavor. He is not thinking clearly. Mental illness gets romanticized to the point where any depiction of the darker sides of it gets judged, as if he decided to become Dabi out of sheer boredome instead of it being the result of an abused and traumatized child.

I understand if you care about Shouto and don’t want him to suffer more than he already has. But why are you so okay with an entire family continuing to suffer in silence? Why is it so okay for the family to consider improving their relationship with their abuser while Dabi continues to suffer in silence? Why is he not a worthy victim? Much like Toga has already pointed out in regards to Twice’s death, why are they not viewed as people worth saving in the eyes of heroes who claim that’s what they are all about?

And to those focusing on the effects this might have on Shouto and his career - you do realize he has been vocal about this himself, right? Sure, he hasn’t spoken out about this in as much detail as Touya, partially because he probably didn’t know much about what the family was like before he was born, but he never pretended to have a good relationship with his father. Shouto outright says he hates his father, even in front of other pro heroes, like during the remedial course. So if anything, ask yourself why this child can express his hatred for his own father and the reasons why, and yet no one really reacts to it? Just because Shouto didn’t broadcast it to the whole world, doesn’t mean he never came forward with the truth. The difference between him and Dabi is that he just states these things as facts without any further purpose, whereas Dabi tries to make people see how negative the existence of heroes can be.

Of course it’s likely that they would never have come forward with this to that same extent themselves and would have been okay with that, too. Again, even though Shouto openly states his situation, he doesn’t seek any specific reaction from people. But do you really think the people who have suffered with Touya are not going to show any kind of understanding for him? That they won’t recognize that they could have been him? That Touya needed help he never received and thus ended up like this? Do you really think the people who are already unsure whether or not to forgive Endeavor are not going to recognize that he drove his own child to insanity? That their situation is even worse than they thought?

People are so easy to claim it’s sad how Shouto is starting to care about Endeavor now and that Dabi is ruining that relationship. Shouto isn’t starting to consider warming up to Endeavor because he thinks Endeavor did nothing wrong. Instead, much like Touya, Shouto is a child who is seeking a relationship with his parent, despite the circumstances. But is that what Shouto really needs? To move on with Endeavor in order to have a picture-perfect family, even when that’s never going to be the case? You can side with the abuser, but Dabi is the tragic result of something that could have been prevented. Their family was never normal. It was always a project of Endeavor, so stop pretending like Dabi is the cause of the family’s problems or somehow responsible for the exposure. He is allowed to come forward, even if it also affects the rest of his family. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, or never cared. But his mind is clouded with the thirst for revenge to the point where he puts that in front of the well-being of his family. He can’t control that. People can’t just stop being mentally ill and that’s not going to change just because their mental state negatively affects those around them.

Unlike some other family members, he couldn’t even try to move on. His mind got lost in the darkness and this is his last cry for help. You might prefer for him to just stay dead and not make things worse for the family, but at the end of the day, Endeavor is the one who started all of this. And maybe, hopefully, the rest of the family can recognize that even though Touya didn’t actually die back then, Natsuo blaming Endeavor for Touya’s death is still correct because he did kill Touya, an innocent child, and turned it into someone whose only goal in life is to kill Endeavor.

Maybe they won’t be happy with the crimes Dabi has committed and the fact he exposed their family to the whole country. But I think they are going to recognize the tragedy behind this whole situation and possibly even learn that they, too, are allowed to speak up about this. Because the truth is freeing, even when it’s hard at first. 

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Death of Twice & Gran Torino (+Crust)

I wanna talk about those deaths in this arc, some parallels and the way their death was portrayed in the story.

1) Chapter Name and Narrative;

The name of the chapter Twice died was “Happy Life”. This is obviously refers to Twice’s perspective. He is the one who talks in this chapter. It’s his narrative. And how he sees his life.

The name of the chapter Gran Torino died was “Plus Ultra”. And it refers to Shigaraki’s plus ultra who isnt even a “hero”. Not only his words are important in this scene but also, he looks like the his childhood version, a kid who needs to be saved. It’s mostly about his narrative.

Gran Torino’s perspective is also shown too but Shigaraki is the one who talked about hero society and he had flashbacks about how he was abandoned and Gran Torino’s flashback was about how he and Nana abandoned a child.

2) Their lives;

Twice is a villain, criminal, he killed people. But also story made it clear that society pushed him to this way; Twice was a good person who fell from the cracks of society.

He had a pretty tragic life. He lost his family when he was young. He did nothing wrong but was punished. He lived in streets, he was so lonely that he copied himself. Then, literally watch himself’s death over and over again. He was traumatized and had a serious mental illness.

And then, he finally found people who became his family and he died by protecting that family. He was a young man (31 years old is still young). He could’ve experience a lot of good things in his life but couldnt. He didnt even had a chance to healing properly. So basically, his death was pretty tragic.

Gran Torino was a hero who saved people but it also showed that he made pretty unheroic things with his own choice. His life wasnt shown fully but it looks like he has a job, home, people he knows. He was also pretty old. So i dont think his life is tragic at all.

3) People Around Them;

Not just Twice’s death was tragic but its also tragic for people who close to him. Toga was a lonely girl who finally made a friend first time in her life. She finally learnt the connect with people healthy way but she lost that friend. Dabi is obviously burning in his feelings. We dont even know how Shigaraki will react Twice’s death but we know that he will be pretty much sad.

Even Hawks, the person who killed Twice, is pitifull. If Hawks kill the person who closest to him, then what will happen to Hawks. It’s also tragic for Hawks too.

Gran Torino’s death was pretty sad for both Deku and Allmight but i think they will eventually get over it. They ahve people around them, they have a healthy environment but leauge only has each others.

4) The Choices They made;

The reason Twice died was trusting Hawks. Why did he trust him? Caus Hawks was pitifull. He wanted to reach out to Hawks, saved him from his loneliness. How sad it would be, if noone trusted you? Twice chose to trust Hawks and this war happenned, he was pushed the corner and it lead him to death.

Gran Torino chose to abandon a child, he also chose to ignore things that happenned to Shigaraki. He dehumanized him, despite knowing that he is victim of AFO and wrong decisions they made. He also tried to kill him, he pushed Shigaraki to corner with heroes and it lead him to death.

5) Last Thing They did;

Twice literally died while trying to protect his family. Hawks ltireally killed him by stabbing him from his back, symbole of betray. Last thing twice thought was how happy he was to meeting with league. The relationship with them is what they saved them, not heroes.

Gran Torino died while trying to kill someone. The last thing Gran Torino thought was ltireally realizing that the decision he (and Nana) made was wrong.

6) Shigaraki and Hawks;

There are bucnh of parallels between those two characters. They both were innocent kids who wanted to be a hero. They both came from abusive household. They both child soldiers who is groomed to be hero/villain. Also they both always chose opposite choices and Shigaraki is rising while Hawks is falling. But in this arc, there is a also another paralell between them.

Hawks had a hard life, pretty lonely and he felt trapped inside the cage. Twice saw this and reach out to him. He wanted to save him cause he emphatize with his condition. For Hawks, Twice was a good person, a friend, first person who treated him as person. Hawks is a hero but he acts as unheroic. He ignored the person who cries right in front of him. He is the one who control of the sitution, he pushed Twice to corner and killed him in the end. The way Hawks killed him is literally sembolism of betrayal.

Shigaraki had a tragic life, pretty damaged kid. Gran Torino is one of those people who is also one of the reasons that Shigaraki became who he is cause their decision eventually lead him to kidnapped by AFO, even though not everything is their fault. Also until the end, Gran Torino chose to dehumanize him, despite have a bunch of hints to see him as victim. He blamed him/the victim, until the end. Gran Torino was someone who wont even try to save Shigaraki. He didnt emphatize with his condition, he also blamed him for his victimhood. Gran torino was a hero but he acts as unheroic. He refused to see Shigaraki as victim and ignored everything about him, until the end. He was the one who control of the sitution with heroes. They pushed Shigaraki to corner and tried to kill him but Gran Torino failed to kill him and died in the end. The way Gran Torino was died is shown as results of wrong decision he made with Nana.

So parallels;

Hawks killed the person who tried to save him.

Shigaraki killed the person who wont even try to save him.

So basically in this arc;

Crust’s death was heroic. Even when he killed noumus, he was the only one who felt sad cause they were victims of science.  Last thing he did was trying to save someone with a smile on his face. We didnt even know about hpim that much but still, it was a pretty heroic way to things to do.

Twice death was tragic, also since he tried to protect his friends, it was also heroic. Message was; he was a good man in deep but society failed him and let him fall from the cracks of society but he found himself again with league.

Gran Torino’s death wasnt really shown as heroic or tragic. Like; message was he and Nana made the wrong decision and that wrong decision lead to this.

Twice death was portrayed as pretty tragic, while Gran Torino’s death wasnt portrayed as tragic, the way Twice’s was. Of course, people can feel sorry for both of them or one of them or neither of them, doesnt matter. What i am talking about is the way story portrayed their death. And this doesnt mean someone deserves to die cause noone deserves to die, its just happens but in stories, scenes have meaning and i wanted to talk about that meaning in here. And paralells are pretty interesting. (I might edit things later but for now, thats it.)

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.19

a/n: so... uhh... nothing much happens here but the last part is worth it :’) i guess? hope ya’ll like this nonetheless! 

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 20

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito​ @meximorrita @awesomeee19​​ @celestial-kanzakii​ @laure-lo​ @team-wang-puppy​ @aydience-world​ @choros-main-hoe​ @colorseeingchick​  @but-kairis-not-that-smart (i cant seem to tag again :( hope this lands in your timelines!)

Two days since that fated encounter with Chronostasis, you were now left with a vacant rest day. And where better place to spend it than with Dr. Hanayaka. Setting an appointment with him, as he liked to call it, you were tasked to help with the blood pressure for each patient he had. Luckily, his schedule wasn’t that straining.

“So you mean to say, his henchman met with you in secret?” Gei asked and raised an eyebrow. With his stethoscope resting on his shoulder and white coat on, it was sometimes hard to believe that this flamboyant man was a well respected doctor. “And handed you trash man’s sim card?”

“Yeah. I’ve already checked the contents of the sim and there’s not a lot to go on.” Aside from your messages, the contents of his inbox were that of an average man’s. Expecting some tea about his trade or even important numbers of other villains, you had to think whether or not Chrono deleted some or not.

“And what about that plan of yours, hmm?” Gei fixed his eyelashes before staring back at you. “What if it backfires and Chrono takes the blame?”

“He won’t. My instructions were clear and I set a time frame as well. Just something to please the heroes for setting me up.”

“You movin over to the dark side, baby girl?”

“Just balancing things out.” You shrugged. “Levi made it clear that they shouldn’t interfere with my relationship with Overhaul. Even though I’m on justice’s side, I still want to tip the scales a bit due to personal reasons.”

“Wouldn’t your badge and title be removed if they found out? And why in Todrick’s name are you so chill with this topic?! Are you certain you don’t have a bug on you?” Your friend eyed you down so quickly. Worried that policemen might end up barging inside his office.

“Don’t worry. I’m wearing new clothes so there’s no way they can. Besides, I’m being as cautious as ever. Seriousness aside, I do have some information you might want to feast on.” You smirked at the mental image of a maskless Chrono.

“Spill…” Gei shifted in his seat and leaned in closer. The look on your face only meant one thing.

“Okay, so Overhaul’s right hand man was the one who met me right? Well~ He took off his mask and I will have to admit the man looked hella fine~”

“Describe! Describe!”

“For starters, he has bluish-gray eyes. Though he looks like he wants to kill a person right there and then, he probably could since his jaw was rather prominent. His voice without the mask is different too.” You watched as Gei listened with such focus. “But, if I were to be honest, describing him doesn’t do him good. He looks really handsome.”

“Why is it always the villains who look good?” Gei commented with a pout. “Hawks aside, because that man is something else, but they just hit different you know?”

“That’s true. Shame they have to wear those masks, though.”

“On the contrary, I think it’s good that they do. Otherwise they’d have to endure the wrath of fan girls.”

“Right. Also feels good when they trust you enough to show what’s behind the mask.” Nodding at your own statement, the memory of having lunch with Overhaul came back. With no given warning, he took off his mask and casually drank water. Realizing that he had done it on purpose, a tiny smile formed on your mouth.

“If you miss him that bad, just call him.”

“He changed numbers and I’m not that desperate to ask Chrono for it. Nao said in due time he’ll contact me but the chances of that are negative.”

“Honey, it’s the modern era. Women aren’t as shy as they were before. If you want something, go and get it. If it is a guy’s new number, then go ahead. It’s not just men who make the first move. And besides, I think Overhoe would be surprised if you just suddenly ring his doorbell.”

“You do realize, I do not have the same confidence as you.”

“Fake it till you make it, boo.” He snapped his fingers in a z-formation.

“You’ve been watching Soopernatural again, haven’t you?”

“Okay, first off, Jenred Padackles is a god and I would worship his feet. Second, that show has references to everything and you can’t deny that.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Standing up from the sofa, you stretched your limbs. “Anyway, I gotta scram.”

“Where you headin’ off to missy?”

“I have to meet up with Nao regarding the Fukuo Kai case.”

“But it’s your day off. Get a life and do something else other than work, (n/n).” Gei threw a pen to your direction but you dodged it effortlessly. “Don’t make me tell your father.”

“It’s only for a few minutes. It’s in preparation for tomorrow.” Not bothering to wait, you exited the room and sofly closed the doors to his office. Time spent with Gei was always an eye opener. However, it still wasn’t enough for you to stoop so low and ring his doorbell.

Making your way out of the hospital, you took a quick stop to the vending machines and chose a cold cafe au lait. Perfect for the hot and humid weather Japan had to offer. Feeling the cold liquid running down your throat was amazing and within seconds, you downed the whole drink. Tossing the empty bottle to the recycle bin, a gust of wind caused you to lose balance.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

“I have a meeting to attend to Hawks.” Hawks took his visors off and ruffled his wings. Offering to buy him a drink, he chose a tetra pack of  apple juice. Walking to the vacant bench, you followed him and decided that perhaps his visit would be worth it. “So what did the bird hear today?”

“Twice and Toga Himiko.”

“League of-” Then it hit you. “I see. Since when?”

“Yesterday. One of my informants saw them entering the base and left late at night. They didn’t look too happy about it, though.” Lowering his headphones, he ruffled his hair and stared at the clear blue skies. “Do what you will with this information. Just thought I’d let you know.”

“How and why do you even bother?”

“I work for the HPSC dove. If I don’t want them getting in my head, I gotta kick their crotches first.”

“That’s not the best analogy.”

“Still works though.” He winked and put on his headphones and visors back. Standing up, he offered a hand and you accepted it. Tailing you, Hawks was now opening the door for your car. “And one more thing, another of my birdies caught the scent of the quirk erasing bullets nearing its completion stages. Probably 80% now.”

“That’s fast.” You had to admit.

“Heard he’s been pissed. Be careful baby bird.” Hawks closed your door and saluted before flying off.

80%? That was enough information to speed up the Shie Hassaikai raid. Reaching out for your bag, you took the burner phone you recently purchased and reread each message the both of you exchanged. With two League of Villains now part of the yakuza, the possibility of casualties was much higher now.

Within minutes, you were now on the road. Fingers tightly wrapping the steering wheel. Your thumb bouncing with growing guilt at choosing to hide what Hawks had just said. Of course this wasn’t to ensure his victory, it was to even the field, right? It was the pettiness taking over you and Nighteye going against his words. It had to be.

Turning towards the precinct, you saw your designated parking area. The basement parking was a bit crowded today.

Heading towards the meeting room Tsukauchi had prepared for the small info sharing, you greeted fellow coworkers and kept conversation till you disappeared around the corner. Not too long after, you were now fiddling with your fingers. Basking in the silence till the doors opened revealing your partner and Shinezu. Both men took their seats and commenced the meeting.

“So, Shinezu will be tagging along.” He nodded at your coworker who seemed to be trembling at the thought. “It’ll do you good, Shinez. Trust me.”

“I-I know, Tsukau-kun.” He adjusted his tie, loosening it a bit. “I just think I’m not cut out for this mission you know? I do better behind the scenes.”

“While I believe that’s true, the 4th division works best when you’re around.”

“That’s true.” You agreed. Shinezu may not be the most social cookie out there but his brain was close to Namase. He also had the knack of coming up with solutions when things went wrong. All he needed was to amp his social skills. “We all know the 4th division leader is weak for you.”

“Not t-true.”

“All too true. You’ll be fine, Shinez. Have I ever lied to you?”

When the raven-haired man finally nodded his head, Tsukauchi cleared his throat and relayed the plans for tomorrow. It was the standard undercover data gathering in your books.

“So, to recap, the 4th division will be handling the snooping and we’ll remain on guard should all else fail?” You repeated the information given. Tsukauchi scratched his chin and nodded. Confirming that you had fully understood his message. “All this should happen within 5 hours. Got it. That’s quite cramped but manageable.”

“5 hours was the only allotted time I could fit in.” He scratched his nape and looked away. “You were right when I had to take it slow with my cases.”

“I’m not one to comment~” Waving the conversation aside, you stood up and the others followed.

With the short meeting now over, Tsukauchi and you were now seated in the break room. Cups of coffee present as you exchanged more information about your days and current mission. For a brief moment, despite him not being a part of the Shie Hassaikai Raid, you wanted to pour every single information you had just gained from Hawks. The lingering guilt was much more present now.

“You’re spacing out.” He snapped his fingers in front of you. “You alright?”

“Aside from the growing problem of trashman, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.” Taking a sip from your coffee, the usual taste of bitterness was strong today. “Nothing to worry about~”

“You should go home, (n/n). I already took up a portion of your time. Any more and I might drown from embarrassment.”

“That’s gross. Even coming from you.” Kicking him from under the table, the two of you laughed before chugging the remaining drops of coffee. “I will take that offer though. Need me some beauty sleep before shit happens again. See ya!”

Hours had passed and you were now stuffing your face with chips. He was right when he said you had purchased too much but you weren’t complaining. The movie playing now was one of your favorites, Prisoner. Gake Jyllenhall was divine in this movie. It was always the twist of the movie that kept you watching it over and over again.

“I wonder if we had watched this… would the wall pinning  happen?” You thought out loud. Shaking your thoughts away from him, you stopped the movie and stored the chips.

Now that you were settled in bed, Overhaul’s jacket rested on top of you. By now, his scent had disappeared and was now replaced by yours. Grabbing your phone, you opened the messaging app and clicked on a certain conversation. Rereading his messages was not the best idea but at least you would be able to relive whatever memories you had created.

Glancing at your desk calendar, in just two months time, you would meet him again. Would things still be the same? Or would things go back to the way they were? Tucking your phone under the unused pillow, you willed yourself to sleep and surprisingly succeeded.

Waking up not so refreshed happened again. But, nothing out of the ordinary. Not being a morning person, you dragged your body away from the bed and began the necessary clothes. Deciding to just buy breakfast, it took you less than an hour to lock your doors and head over to the parking lot.

Making your way up the steps, you met up with Shinezu.

“You look like shit, Shinez.” You teased him. “Take a chill pill.”

“I already did. But it’s still not working. This would be the first case in a while where I’ll interact with others.” Leading the way, the both of you were now walking through the empty hallways. The sounds of your footsteps muffled by the cheap carpeted floors. “How do you guys even manage to survive situations like these?”

“By taking it one step at a time~” Not the best advice for someone who’s socially challenged but it is what it is.

Opening the doors for you, the both of you entered the room and took your designated seats. A bunch of people from the 4th division were now present. Tsukauchi had not yet arrived but it was still early so it was excusable. Exchanging a few small talk, you caught up with what the 4th division was up to till the doors finally opened.

“Good morning everyone.” Tsukauchi greeted. Feet glued to his spot. His eyesight focused on you. “Before we head out, we have a special guest joining us.”

“Holy shit.” Shinezu uttered under his breath.

- - - - -

a/n: shits bout to go down again! I would like to take this time to thank each one of you who take the time to read this! Unpredictable was supposedly a 10 chapter story but we bout to reach 20 now! i cant really respond to your comments as much but i read all of ‘em and they always make my day :’) my schedule has just been very hectic these days huhu and yeas that ends my rant~ see ya’ll next week! :* and yes, the waiting list is still open :)

[universal-imagines]

I would love to see a scenario where Inosuke rescues you from demons. Love you ❤

☾ an odd fellow

fandom: demon slayerpairing: inosuke x readerword count: 1.9ksynopsis: [ above in ask ]

a/n: this was meant to be a short scenario and somehow i ended up 9 words short of 2k… but hope you guys enjoy it!! thank you for the request i really enjoyed writing it, especially the last part (੭ु˙꒳​˙)੭ु⁾⁾

please do not use any of my works, in any shape or form, without permission.

Every crunch of a leaf and whistle in the air made your heart race. You could feel every single pulse push against your chest and could hear the blood rushing through your body. You feared the demon could hear it too and could tell how exhausted you were. Even the palms of your hands were sweating. It made keeping a firm grip on your sword difficult. You wanted to loosen your grip just enough to let your hands dry a little, but that would give the demon an opening to attack. It was watching you like a hawk.

This wasn’t the first demon you had encountered, you’d fought countless of them before and just this night too, but there was something different about this one. Its strength wasn’t unmatched, even if it was stronger than most, but it was coupled with an unbelievable speed. In your current state, you were at a disadvantage. Before this one, you had fought off other demons from the area and had sustained several injuries. There was definitely a broken rib, possibly two, and a deep gash on your prominent leg that wouldn’t stop bleeding. Not only did it make it hard to breathe and walk, but you were also probably leaving a trail for the demon, so it was pointless to run or hide.

And yet you found yourself hiding behind a tree to catch your breath. The cover would only last for a few seconds, but you’d have to make do. With two deep breaths, that honestly did more harm than good, you pushed off from the tree and stood your ground. The cold air of the mountain pierced your lungs as if you’d swallowed needles instead of air. It caused your chest to tighten from discomfort, but you remained firm in your position. You weren’t about to back down from a demon, even if you were potentially bleeding out.

Admittedly things weren’t looking good for you at the moment. The pain you were fighting was almost unbearable, you could feel your mind clouding from concentrating on just keeping you on your feet. The thin air wasn’t helping either. You weren’t going to last much longer like this. If you weren’t killed by the demon, chances were you were still going to die from bleeding out anyway. Your only hope was to defeat the demon quickly so you could treat your wounds, but that was proving to be a rather difficult feat.

Glaring at the demon as it charged at you at full speed, all you could do was hope you were able to dodge its attack. Forget about attacking it yourself, the only goal was surviving. Unfortunately, you weren’t fast enough with your injured leg. While you didn’t get injured any further—just pushed back a few feet—you did lose your sword. The sudden impact knocked it out of your hands and sent it flying in the opposite direction. 

Cursing your selective luck, you ran as best you could for cover. You weren’t one to run, even when the situation seemed dire, but without a sword, you didn’t stand a chance. It didn’t matter how tough or brave you were, without a weapon, there was nothing you could do. Your only option was to run, even if it hurt your ego. No one knew of your whereabouts. You were supposed to be on route to a mission, but you got sidetracked when a bunch of demons appeared out of nowhere, so you were on your own.

You didn’t want to face the fact that you might actually die. This couldn’t possibly be how it all ended. Not like this. Not alone. Warm tears began to roll down your cheeks from despair. If only you had been stronger… faster… smarter…

As the dark thoughts began to take over your mind, you felt the tree you were leaning on get uprooted. You even saw it being thrown into the air as you fell onto your back. The small amount of air left in your lungs was knocked out of you, and you almost blacked out from the pain. This was really it… You were going to die at the hands of a demon. You couldn’t bring yourself to move anymore. Not only had you lost your will to fight, but you were in too much pain. You just wanted it to end…

It all happened in a split second. One moment you’re about to get clobbered by the demon, watching his hands coming down to you, and the next, you’re wincing in pain. But you’re two feet away from where you were, and the pain is only concentrated on your arm as if something hit you from the side. It took you a minute to realize you’d been kicked or shoved out of the way by someone. The realization got you to sit up, wincing an groaning, but you managed to look over at the demon and the person who had helped you.

To your surprise, in your previous spot stood a half man half boar looking thing. For a split second, you thought it might have been another demon just fighting to eat you, but his aura was definitely human. Besides, a demon wouldn’t have cared to shove you out of the way.

“Careful!” You could barely talk without your whole body aching, but you wanted to offer some help by warning him, at least. “Don’t let his size fool you, this demon is incredibly-” But you were cut off by the guy’s action. For the past hour, all you were doing was defending yourself, barely managing to stay alive, but this guy just went for the attack. There was obviously no plan or even thought behind it. Every slash of his swords was pure brute force. In an odd way, it was admirable, just not smart at all. One wrong move and you’re left vulnerable to a counter-attack.

While lost in thought, debating whether or not his approach could be considered a strategy, or if he even had one, you were met with a hard impact—a body. Alright… that definitely wasn’t a strategy.

You groaned in pain as you both scrambled to get up. “Are you that stubborn, or just stupid?” You huffed, holding onto your side with the broken ribs. “I tried warning you about his strength and speed, but you didn’t listen. You just charged at it like some wild animal! Have you no sense of self-preservation? Or regard for the safety of others? You shoved me out of the way like a sack of potatoes earlier…”

Straightening your uniform as best you could, you turned to him for a response, but he was already charging at the demon again.

“For the love of…” You grumbled a few more words before looking for your sword. You were in no condition to fight, but this idiot was going to get himself killed. You had to help. Quickly scanning the area with your eyes, you spotted it a few feet in front of you. It was away from the fight, in a clearing, so you assumed it was safe and ran over to it without a second thought. Thing is, you were wide open for an attack, and the demon took the chance. But once again, the guy with the boar mask protected you. He even managed to trap the demon’s arms with his swords. Nodding in gratitude, you reached for your sword and sliced the head of the demon clean off.

It wasn’t until it fully disintegrated that you were finally able to relax. A heavy sigh of relief left your body, releasing every tense muscle. Some pain began to come back now that the adrenaline was wearing off, but it actually felt good. You knew it was over.

“Woo! That was easy.”

A laugh that sounded more like a cackle filled the silence of the forest. If the shoulders of the guy with the mask weren’t bouncing, you might have thought the laugh belonged to a hidden demon.

You still stared at him in disbelief, maybe even glared a little. How could those be his first words?

“Are you serious? We both almost died!”

“You almost died. I had it trapped from the beginning.” You could hear the grin in his voice.

“Wha…” His response irritated you a bit, but you didn’t let his overconfidence get to you because the truth was he had saved you, twice. If it weren’t for him, you’d be dead for sure. “Being thrown ten feet into the air and landing on me didn’t seem like you had him trapped. But I do owe you my life… thank you.”

You couldn’t see his face through the mask, much less his expression, but his stance became more relaxed. The aura around him also changed. Just a few seconds ago, it matched that of a wild animal’s, but now it was bubbly and calm. There wasn’t really a way to prove your theory, but you were convinced that meant he was touched by your words.

“But can I ask you for one more favor?” You might as well take advantage of his good mood.

“Huh?”

“Well, I’m kind of bleeding out and need medical attention.” All you needed to do to prove your word was to gesture down at your blood-soaked uniform.

“I knew that! I had already noticed it and decided to help you down the mountain. But you were talking and distracting me.” Despite sounding annoyed with you, there was something kind about the way he spoke. 

“Right,” you nodded.

After securing his swords on his belt, he lowered himself in front of you. “Hurry up, get on!” He demanded.

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I should walk on my own. I just need some help so it doesn’t take me twice as long.“ 

“I am helping!” He sounded somewhat annoyed again.

“You are, but… here like this.” Pulling him up from his crouching position, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “See. you don’t have to carry me to help.” You weren’t sure if he could even see you, but you smiled.

Again you felt his aura change and heard a faint hum of realization. If you weren’t so close you wouldn’t have heard it, the mask would have muffled it.

“So…” You broke the silence after a few minutes. “Do I get a name?”

“Don’t you have one already?”

You would have laughed if it weren’t for the pain in your chest. Instead, you just shook your head, a grin on your face.

“Yes, I do. But I meant your name. As in, do I get to know the name of the person who saved me?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“So I can thank you properly.”

“Hashibira Inosuke.” He didn’t say anything else for a couple of minutes. “I’m only telling you so that you know the name of the person who defeated the demon for you.”

“Actually I think we did that together, but I’m willing to give you all the credit, cause I wasn’t in tip-top shape.” You hid your grin by looking off to the side.

“Ha?” He almost let you go to turn to glare at you, or so you assumed. 

“I mean, I did cut off his head, didn’t I?”

He only grumbled in response.

“Thank you for saving my life, Inosuke.”

This time he did let you go, causing you to stumble a little when he stopped abruptly.

“Stop doing that!”

You were confused. “Doing what?”

“Stop making me feel all giddy!” He was fuming.

“Oh,” you chuckled. “Sorry.”

“I will only forgive you if you fight me once you’re healed.”

“Done.” You extended your hand out for a shake. “I’m already looking forward to that day.”

“Stop!”

You didn’t end up shaking on it, but you had a good laugh and knew he wouldn’t miss the fight because he was looking forward to it too.

please do not use any of my works, in any shape or form, without permission.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hawks’ conflict of interest

So given new confirmation on how Hawks admired Twice, I’d like to take one last crack at the mystery of why he killed him. Especially since, I imagine the next time this’ll get brought up his motives will finally be explained.

To get everyone caught up: Hawks killed the villain Twice in a move that one could politely call controversial. As a result, his actions have been hotly debated; and through those debates, I’ve found several questions plaguing my mind about Hawks’ motives for doing that, which’ve really divorced me from the narrative of “Hawks killed Twice because his quirk was too strong”. Namely:

a) Why did Hawks think to do that when killing is a major taboo for heroes such that no one does it under any circumstances? If no other hero has ever needed to, and we do know other heroes have been in tighter jams, Hawks shouldn’t have felt he had to either. Logically, his mind had no reason to jump to that solution.

b) Why did he feel he needed to do it against Twice when his quirk counters Twice’s so hard that “I couldn’t handle his quirk” would sound more believable from Eraserhead? Twice got a Parade off and Hawks still beat it! Even a 2-on-1 shouldn’t have been an unreasonable task for the no.2, never mind that he could’ve subdued Twice before Dabi even arrived.

c) Why did he seem to come in prepared to kill him unless, & only unless, Twice came willingly and did not resist arrest? Both before Twice rejected coming quietly, and again after he reviewed Twice’s wounds, Hawks planned to take Twice in alive, only to go back to lethal force once Twice resisted. So what’s the deal with that?

(Also, just to quickly talk on some other points of evidence people like to discuss. We know he was going to kill him with or without Dabi being there. He was stabbing a sword into Twice’s head right as Dabi arrived. I know it can be hard to admit that he would kill a guy he has pinned, but we know this is true because we’re working with a form of photographic evidence that comes with actions lines. For this reason, we can surmise that he did, in fact, come prepared to kill Twice. Although additional evidence for this includes him bringing a tape recorder, explaining to Twice he would have to die if he didn’t surrender, letting him get his last words in, and then yeah, going to stab him. We got all that? Great.)

Now previously, I theorized that his reasoning was simply what he said to Twice; when a hero fights a villain who is too determined to give up or stay down, a trait Hawks knows Twice possesses, one party isn’t leaving alive. And while we know this isn’t true, plenty of heroes have beaten villains without the villain necessarily giving up, it’s a believable view for Hawks to have...but you see, the thing is that this comes with the implication that Twice wasn’t exactly Hawks’ only kill. Determination is not exactly a super rare trait for villains. And, well, I kind of learned the hard way that his fans don’t really appreciate this implication. So we’re benching this theory. For now, at least.

So here’s the new theory: What if he couldn’t afford to have a villain he sympathized with out there on the other side?

Basically; we know he liked Twice, even seemed to respect him a great deal. Despite this, he had no sympathy for what he was fighting for, and found his group a danger and natural enemy to his own worldviews and motivations. It’s easy to see the conflict of interest here, yes?

This could explain why he couldn’t just arrest Twice by force; because then his friend still hates him, thinks he’s a traitor, would probably be cursing him all the way to jail (which he’d probably be there for the whole journey to, as villains appear to get hero escorts that can counter them in case of an escape attempt; and Hawks is the only hero we know that can counter a Parade). He would not be able to help his friend, or even visit him in prison without being reminded of how deceitful he is and how much Twice hates him. And what’s more; Hawks may feel sympathy for Twice, and thus be drawn into Twice’s cause, which could lead to Hawks doing something bad. It’s an incredibly selfish motive, but it’s easy to think why Hawks would want to avoid this conflict of interest.

So, what’s an easy way to deal with this conflict of interest? You kill Twice in battle. It’s simple really, if Twice is dead then he can’t hate Hawks, nor can he draw Hawks to his side. With Twice dead, he doesn’t have to deal with their differences or how Twice died hating him; all that’s left of him to Hawks is the admirable & idealized version of him in his head, right next to the idealized Endeavor he has in his head. An extreme solution for sure, but when you realize how easy arresting Twice should’ve been, and how frowned upon killing is for heroes, any reason for why this happened is gonna imply some loose screws. What fixes Hawks’ problems, fixes Hawks’s problems. 

This theory even answers one of the most difficult questions to figure out: if Hawks was so prepared and fully intended to kill Twice if he fought, why still arrest him if he didn’t fight? Well, that means abandoning the PLF for Hawks’ point of view, possibly even Hawks himself. No conflict of interest in that case. It’s a standard Fire Embalm situation (as I understand; I’ve never played an FE game you see). You sway the likable enemy lieutenant to your side and that’s it; they’re on your side and not on the enemy side anymore, so you can continue doing what you must to the rest of the enemy without issue. It’s like that, but with jail time because Twice was still a criminal; but that’s okay because it’s Hawks’ viewpoint for it to be okay and Twice was gonna be cool with that. And he was even gonna be cool with how Hawks phrased the whole thing as a threat to Twice’s life. Or I guess that’s what Hawks was hoping for anyway. I know, I’m surprised it didn’t work out that way too.

Anyway, that’s the theory. Not sure if it’s my best work but it’s internally consistent and when you’re trying to figure Hawks out that may be the best you can hope for. And I have been trying to hard to wrap my brain around his actions for so long that now I’m pretty sure it’s either this, he’s a secret serial villain killer, or he’s just really, really bad at his job. So I think I’m gonna stick with this theory until he actually explains his thought process and proves all of us wrong.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

headcanon: they have a s/o that listens to a specific female artist

featuring izuku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, and our pros before hoes hawks and aizawa lol

words: 1k??

warnings: some slick lil nasty comments (cause when aizawa’s involved i can’t write fully sfw) and language that’s it lol

𝕚𝕫𝕦𝕜𝕦 𝕞𝕚𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕪𝕒 𝕨/ 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕤 𝕦𝕞𝕚:

the first time he’d ever heard of her was when the two of you went on a drive one night

he’d already liked the vibe of a few of the songs you’d played

and then lullaby came on

man when i say this boy didn’t think he could fall for you any harder until that moment

he was so wrong

hearing your voice softly harmonize with the melody had his heart skipping beats

the street was deserted cause it was so late

and all he remembers is copper streetlamps illuminating your face

left hand out the window, right hand on the wheel while the wind blows your scarf in all different directions

and when happy again plays???

and you blissfully kiss him while you’re stopped at a red light???

while your hand is already holding his?????

izuku is sold

he goes home and downloads all her music

and she becomes “your” artist

“babe wake up umi just dropped music”

he even took you to see her in concert for your birthday lol

𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚 𝕓𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕘𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕠 𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕪

now why would you put him on to rico bruh

but in your defense it’s not your fault

he was helping you with dinner one night

and you hated working in silence so you’d asked him to play something from your playlist

he chose “smack a bitch” cause he liked the title💀

and from that point forward he was obsessed

he was already attracted to your no-nonsense, take no shit type attitude

so knowing that you listened to the same kinda music made you ten times hotter

you knowing all the lyrics had his dick on HARD LMFAOOOO

anger management is his favorite album

you fell tf out when he said that cause...have you met katsuki that mf is the poster child for anger issues

secretly likes sugar trap too but refuses to admit it

on bad days y’all will blast all of rico’s aggressive songs and rage

your downstairs neighbors hate you.

𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕪𝕒𝕟𝕒 𝕥𝕒𝕪𝕝𝕠𝕣

okay so todoroki is painfully introverted

which isn’t his fault cause endeavor isn’t father of the year by any means

so i hc him with someone who’s extroverted and outgoing

teyana makes music for bad bitches who work hard and play harder

but have a soft side too and just wanna love/be loved bro

he loves that you can put on such a brave face for the world every day no matter what

he’ll never forget when he knew he loved you

he was getting in pretty late from a patrol that had run overtime

and he’d found you, crying on your shared bed after an awful day n this man’s heart just splinters cause he don’t know how to comfort people🧍🏾‍♀️

but you don’t ask him for much, just for him to hold you and he does

the next day he wakes up to you just bopping to “never would have made it” and you just glow as you pull him outta bed to come dance with you like you weren’t just crying last night which has him confused asf

“you can be strong and still be vulnerable baby.”

that shit hit home for him

lowkey wants to recreate the shower scene from the “fade” video with you now

𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕤𝕙𝕚 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕛𝕙𝕖𝕟𝕖

y’all can’t tell me this mf don’t be zooted 25/8 and most def has a smoke playlist with jhene on it

so when he finds out that you like her too???

oh baby the vibes here are immaculate

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t have chilombo goin in the background while y’all smoke

and if you don’t personally smoke then he’ll just cuddle with you while he practices tricks<3

will ask you if you wanna get licked too if you stare at him as he’s rollin

the energy here is so balanced it’s crazy

shinsou hates drama and all that other bullshit

so when he’s with you he’s the most relaxed he can be

also he loves that you’re not opposed to deep conversations about your purpose on this earth and how you can feed off other people’s energies

y’all definitely burn sage together on sundays

but don’t get it twisted

cause he knows better than anyone that while you may be chill your hands are still rated E for everybody

been on the receiving end of your anger once or twice and he said never again lol

𝕖𝕚𝕛𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕜𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕒𝕝𝕚 𝕦𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕤

there is nothing more attractive to kiri than someone who’s not afraid to take a leap of faith

you’d known each other since second year, and honestly you were itching to change up your energy

you were tired of being the same old, boring, timid y/n

so you started small: you experimented with your hair more, tried out new makeup, and clothes that accentuated your...ahem..assets

sweaters became tube tops, lip balm turned into brown liner with a thick coat of gloss, skirts became bell bottom jeans with the occasional pair of heels

don’t be fooled, you still loved your old clothes, you just needed to branch out

and as your new style grew so did your taste in music

honestly when you started listening to kali you really hit peak Bad Bitch Energy™️

kiri was, in short, enamored with you

the way you woke up one day and decided to be a whole new person was so manly to him

and he loved the way you knew you didn’t need shit from him but still let him spoil you

which only made him wanna spoil you more

and the way you shifted from a goddess who could step on him with a perfectly manicured foot to kiri’s baby who demanded cuddles before 11am????

the duality has wedding bells going off in his head lol

pros before hoes lol

𝕙𝕒𝕨𝕜𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕟

“fell too fast for me, now the nigga hurt”

that lyric is your dynamic with keigo in a nutshell.

he’d met you while he was in fukuoka on a “business trip” .....which was code for a booty call🙄

and figured he’d try to get another pyt on his team

...only problem was, you were a whole hot girl coach (with ya own draft picks no less)

you had heard about playboy (and no.2 hero) Hawks from here to the States

so, you’d decided to play dumb, hoping he’d slip up and you’d get another pro on your list

all it took was a few sleepovers and calling him keigo over breakfast in the morning...dude was stuck

this man was trying to run game and now you had him throwin you some money to get your hair and nails done “just because” n buy you birkins....embarrassing 💀

however despite him being a sweetheart you didn’t forget what this was, and he wasn’t the only egg in your basket since you knew you weren’t his

this man saw edgeshot’s name come through with a “you up?” text while you were in the shower and cried to brent for a week straight LMFAOOO

but what did he expect from the same person who knew every lyric to meg’s wap verse...come on baby do better

long story short if you can’t handle a stallion don’t try to tame one.

𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕒 𝕒𝕚𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕤/𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕤 ����𝕠 𝕤𝕫𝕒

whewwww okay the amount of scorpio energy flowing through here is borderline suffocating

honestly if you listen to sza you’re either a scorpio, heartbroken, manifesting, have low self esteem with sudden confidence bursts or all the above don’t lie

in all seriousness shota didn’t see himself getting into a serious relationship due to his pro hero status

that, and he didn’t feel like there was anyone out there that was just...on his level mentally???

but then he meets you and you throw him for a loop though he’ll never admit it

you didn’t just throw yourself at him at the beginning

and while sure you made it known that the attraction was mutual you treaded lightly

he could tell you’d been hurt before and would kill before you let someone get you in a position to hurt you again

pretended not to notice you crying to supermodel when he was supposed to be sleeping

which he understood, for him trust issues came with the territory so there was a mutual understanding between you two

you don’t mind his schedule since you prioritize your alone time and he loves that

you definitely get him into meditation and crystal/chakra alignment

at first he thinks it’s a bunch of bullshit

until it helps him sleep better...mf is a secret hippie now

he loves that you’re trying to heal/become a better version of yourself and he gets to be a part of that growth :,) it makes him a little more optimistic for his personal goals

the sex is elite lol had to say it the vibes are too good here

𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕖 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤𝕖!

[hotforhandman]

How would you end the series if you had the power to choose the ending?

Oh boy. This is gonna get pretty long, so imma put it under a cut. If I had the power, here’s what I’d do from here on out:

Machia and the rest of the League reach Shigaraki, and in the face of the overwhelming odds against them and the losses they’ve already sustained, the heroes are forced to fall back. In the wake of the battle, plus the destruction to surrounding cities, the general public starts to question the effectiveness and reliability of heroes- especially since they all left the cities that Machia was travelling through, meaning no heroes came to help when they were destroyed. Shigaraki learns about Twice’s death, and between that and everything else built up in his head he goes on a bit of a rampage. After a little while though, maybe some interference from the League members, he begins to realise that this stuff isn’t making him feel any better. He still feels like shit, he still hates everything, destroying this stuff is only a short-term catharsis. So maybe that’s when the League sit down and actually start to talk about what would make a real difference: flushing the corruption out of the system.

In the meantime, the heroes are facing the worst crisis they’ve ever seen. Protests up and down the country, parents pulling their kids out of hero programmes (maybe even show a few of the UA kids getting in rows with their parents about it, perhaps even show Shiketsu or Ketsubutsu getting shut down), funding pulled from hero agencies. Hero merch and even buildings are vandalised as people take their fear and uncertainty from the rising villain attacks and turn it against the people who are supposed to be saving them but failing to do so. Izuku sits down with All Might and All Might tells him everything about Nana, Kotaro and Tenko, and what Gran Torino had said to him. He laments that even as the number one he could never save anyone, and that a part of him knows that his role as the Symbol of Peace had a nasty double edge to it, that it convinced normal people that they don’t have to try- prompting flashbacks to the mall conversation. He tells Izuku that that’s why he chose him as his successor, because most people would just turn the other cheek and wait for a hero to show up, but Izuku didn’t do that.

At some point after continuing to train with OfA, Izuku makes contact with Nana, who tells him how much it hurt her to let go of her son, and how much she regrets it knowing what she knows now. She begs Izuku not to give up, to help her put right what she made wrong. Izuku tells her it wasn’t her fault, it was AfO’s, but agrees to help her anyway.

Meanwhile, Shigaraki and the PLF focus on liberating villains in captivity, including those in Tartarus. We see the return of several old faces. There are three major exceptions, though: first, we get Spinner. Spinner confronts Stain, and we get a bit more of his backstory. We get to see some of the abuse he suffered, how hard it was growing up looking like he does in a town that was openly hostile to heteromorphic quirks, and a story about how he went to his local hero office asking for help, only to be roughly rebuffed. Maybe he got briefly arrested after lashing out in anger. We learn that it was after this incident that he became a complete shut-in, until he saw Stain’s messages. To his dismay, Stain dismisses him too, saying that the League are no better, that Shigaraki is a false leader just looking for infamy the same way the heroes look for fame. Spinner is visibly hurt, and as he frees Stain for a moment it looks like he might leave with him, but in a fit of rage he turns and declares his loyalty to the only person he’s ever felt seen by, and kills Stain. After, it is shown that Dabi was watching.

Mr Compress and Toga find Overhaul, and Overhaul asks Toga where Twice is, being as dismissive and offensive towards him as always. Toga starts to scream at him, threatening him and breaking down, but Compress stops her. He soothes her for a few moments, then tells his own story about how he used to be in organised crime, and used to have a family, only to have it all taken away by his boss. That he’s found more kinship with Shigaraki and the League than he ever did in the Yakuza. Then he hands Toga back her knife - using his prosthetic hand - and lets her do what she wants to him.

Shigaraki goes straight to AfO. AfO praises him for what he’s become, tells him how proud he is, and Shigaraki sits down to talk. We find out that AfO had been planning to allow Ujiko to experiment on him from the start, that he’d been running smaller tests and experiments on him since he was a child without his knowledge, that his slightly enhanced physical attributes were due to this, but that he had to be sure Shigaraki’s body could handle it before activating the dormant form of AfO’s quirk he held. We find out more about how AfO groomed him and what his life was like in between AfO taking him in and the beginning of the series. At the end of their conversation - seemingly reminiscing about happy memories - AfO suggests that they leave together, that he continue to coach him in how to use his newfound powers despite his waning health. Shigaraki opens his arms as though to accept him, but as they embrace he activates Decay and says once again that he has no need for him anymore, that he thanks him but that he is so much more than AfO ever groomed him to be.

The end of the academic year rolls around simultaneously and we get to see a hollow and sparse student body watch the third years graduate and become pros, though many have either dropped out or been pulled out. Bakugou and Kirishima and several others argue about whether or not it’s worth continuing. Some even start talking about vigilantism, which has been on the rise lately. Aizawa, Izuku, and Eri visit Mirio, and Eri sincerely apologises that she couldn’t fix him before he graduated, which meant he couldn’t graduate into full hero status. Mirio smiles and assures her that at the end of the day, pro-heroes mean nothing if there aren’t normal people surrounding them helping out too, that he can be a hero in a different way. Eri hugs him.

I guess we could put a timeskip in here, some more stuff with the kids, idk. At some point in a massive publicity stunt, a large number of documents are sent to several media outlets including the medical records of one Todoroki Touya, as well as the details of the rearing and training of the now-retired hero Hawks, outing both the number one and the Commission itself for their dirty deeds. The Todorokis all come under fire from the press, being bullied for details, and Natsuo is the one who snaps and tells them everything. Enji, who’s been living apart from his family for a few months, makes a public apology and is pressured into retiring his agency and title. With the top agency in the country down, hero society all but collapses.

However, encouraged by Aizawa, Mic, and a few other teachers, the kids continue to train and work somewhere in the limbo between hero status and vigilantes. Maybe they even meet up with and work with some vigilantes to stop smaller crimes or side villains in the area. These sort-of-heroes rise in notoriety and publicity and people start coming to them for help.

Honestly idk what exactly to put in here, it’d need a bit more thought, but basically the PLF continues to pick off heroes and erode society, banding more and more villainous organisations together, until Izuku’s merry band of hero/vigilante hybrids consider themselves prepared to take them on, including Izuku being able to fully wield OfA.

Insert a large number of super epic battles in here, a handful of tragic deaths, and a few bridges and sympathies being formed (such as Aizawa and Mic with Kurogiri, maybe Shoji and Spinner, idk). Some of the villains point blank can’t be swayed, like Dabi, who admits to having sent the documents and tells Shoto that he regrets it, that he wishes Enji hadn’t retired so that he could burn him alive and laugh as he did so. Maybe Shoto beats him in a fight or maybe he completely burns himself out, either way he is defeated. Then we get to the final confrontation. Izuku vs Shigaraki. It’s a massive battle, all of their skills get to be used and seen, we’ve all seen Naruto, and when it looks like Izuku’s going to lose, that’s when he steps back and for a moment, lets Nana take over. That’s when Shigaraki hears the one thing he wanted to hear from any of his family, any of the people who claimed to care: I will try to do better. All of the vestiges band together to give Izuku a second chance, and Shigaraki redoubles his efforts in one last attempt to cut all ties to his past. At this point most of the other villains have either been subdued or have laid down their arms and are watching their battle. And Shigaraki pushes himself too far. Maybe he starts to struggle with his own mind like the Nomu, losing coherency. His emotions and his physical power too much for him to handle. Knowing that he’s not going to last much longer, at least not as himself, he forces Izuku down and makes him promise to do better, maybe somehow using quirk bullshit he shows him everything he’s been through, everything that we the readers know but that Izuku does not, and with tears in his eyes Izuku agrees. The hero-vigilantes and the remainder of the League work together to finally put him out of his misery.

Afterwards, whilst society begins to rebuild and recover and we see the hero system completely scrapped. Izuku himself heads the development of the new system, using all the masses of information he’s collected over the years plus everything he learned from Shigaraki and the League. Shigaraki gets a proper funeral, and though it’s a relatively quiet affair, Izuku and Toshinori are there, as are the remaining four core League members (though Dabi is in chains). Toshinori reflects on how, even though Shigaraki’s story started as something loveless and lonely, it ended with real friendship and a true family, and that he hopes somewhere Nana is greeting her grandson with the warmth and love he sorely lacked growing up. And the series closes on Izuku grown up, helping Eri with her high school application, flashing through some of the efforts being made by his surviving classmates to create a truly inclusive society where everyone, regardless of background, quirk, or circumstance is offered a hand. He contemplates how if only someone had reached out a hand to Shigaraki, he could have been like Eri, he could have been saved. But then he realises that despite all the pain and damage Shigaraki caused, if it weren’t for him then nothing would have changed, and even though hero society was ‘destroyed’, a much better thing is being put in its place. Izuku had become a number one hero he could be proud of himself for being. And so he helps Eri seal her envelope, and mutters a quick thank you out of the window, before heading out to help her post it.

-+-

Hooboy that took a long time to write. I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff I missed and plotlines that need polishing that I didn’t include, but that’s roughly what I would do if I was put in charge. Hope that’s a satisfying answer!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Disability and Loren

@zarohk asked for my thoughts on a Disability Studies/Media Studies perspective on the disability depictions in Animorphs.  Which was foolish, because I’m teaching an entire dang class on the subject of superheroes and mental health, so I have Many Thoughts.  [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Loren’s role in #49: The Diversion does a lot of things right, and a lot of things wrong.  She incurs a traumatic brain injury that results in memory loss and blindness a couple of years after Tobias is born, and lives with said injury for about ten years before Tobias finds her and gives her the ability to morph, which restores her sight but not her memory.

A few places where I commend the depiction of Loren:

It gets into the massive underemployment of disabled Americans.  Loren is smart, canny, athletic, compassionate... and working a call center job in exchange for state benefits.  Said state benefits do not afford her a decent standard of living; Tobias notes that she has few possessions and almost no time for leisure activities.  Americans with disabilities are twice as likely to be unemployed as those without, and those who do have jobs are ten times more likely to be paid less than minimum wage, e.g. in sheltered workshops.

It shows how inaccessible a lot of systems are in the U.S.  Tobias notes that Loren accidentally grabs an expired quart of milk — because nothing on the label is printed in Braille.  Putting raised text and/or Braille on food packaging is a health and safety issue, one that the U.S. ignores even though it violates its own laws (e.g. the ADA) because companies tend to do what they want and “what they want” is usually not to spend more money on packaging.  The call center and bus system are both marginally more accessible, especially when Loren has Champ to help, but they’re still clearly spaces set up for sighted people that don’t take blind users into account very well.

It shows some of the workarounds that help deal with accessibility problems.  Loren’s house is set up so that there are clear paths to and from all of the relevant spaces.  She’s doing that to allow herself to move around comfortably in that space, because she’s made it accessible for herself.  She memorizes the layout of the local store, and uses that to get around as well.  All of those details help show that she’s adjusted, and actively interacting with her own circumstances.

It drives home the difference between service dogs and pets.  This distinction is extremely important, and it gets ignored all the time by entitled ableists who want to bring their pets into stores.  Tobias and Marco both assume from the outside that it can’t be that hard to become a service animal — just do what Loren says to do, right? — but it takes Tobias 0.02 seconds to realize that it’s not that simple and that he cannot imitate Champ’s lifetime of training on the fly.  He says that he manages to get his mom home in one piece, and that that’s about all that can be said for his sad performance as a guide.  Champ has skills like ignoring interesting smells and applying exactly the right amount of pressure to the harness that most pets don’t have and also most pets can’t learn.  Champ is not a pet, at least not while he’s in that harness; he’s a gainfully employed expert assistant.

It rounds Loren out as a character, and definitely does not just make her into a lesson or problem for Tobias.  Loren is gently humorous, tolerating her coworkers’ teasing and Ax’s attempted juvenile delinquency with an eye-roll.  She’s compassionate, listening to other people’s problems on the phone with genuine concern and not swatting flies if she doesn’t have to.  She’s tough-minded and stupidly brave, chucking rocks at Visser Three’s head and flying at attack helicopters as a three-pound bird.  She’s fallible, unable to support Tobias emotionally even when he asks her to do so and unwilling to check in on him after leaving him with her sister.  She’s a fully rounded person, one whose personality is informed but not defined by her disability.

It talks about some of the unromatic aspects of a Traumatic Brain Injury.  Too often in other works of fiction, we see a person get bonked over the head and wake up with no episodic memory but all other brain functions intact (*cough* Rachel in MM1 *cough*).  Loren actually gets into the fact that she forgot huge chunks of language, forgot how to brush her teeth, forgot how to walk across a room.  She obviously lost her sight as well, and she mentions lifelong balance and coordination problems.  Even her amnesia isn’t absolute — she has some traces of recall, but can’t make anything coherent of her impressions.  Her injury isn’t 100% realistic, but it’s more so than many TBIs we see in fiction.

It focuses on the intersection of disability and social class.  Tobias notes that Loren is under a compounded threat because of her inability to move to a more secure neighborhood and her obvious vulnerability.  He feels a lot of disgust with himself when he and Marco and Ax are harassing Loren, because it’s so clear that this isn’t the first time she’s been harassed.  Tobias understands that his experience with poverty as a nondisabled male minor is different from Loren’s for those reasons.

A few places where Loren falls into the common traps of implied ableism creeping into fiction, as written about in Narrative Prosthesis: 

She gets “cured.”  Loren falls into the “kill or cure” dichotomy, like most of the other disabled characters in Animorphs.  In her case, it’s that she gains the power to morph and in the process regains the ability to see.  It isn’t a complete cure, true — she still has no memory — but it means that she’s no longer blind for the rest of the series.  Having the occasional character no longer be disabled sometimes isn’t automatically problematic; having every disabled character get either “fixed” or killed off inherently treats the disabled body as a problem that needs to be solved, through sci fi nonsense if no other way is available.

She implies that she’d rather die than continue to be disabled.  When injured by dracon burns, Loren initially refuses to morph out even though Tobias tells her she’ll die if she remains a bird, because (they both assume) to morph out is to return to her blind human body.  This moment buys into the stereotype that it’s better to be dead than disabled, again inherently devaluing the lives of actual blind individuals.

There’s a certain amount of mystery around how she became disabled.  It’s interesting that we never actually get a definitive answer on that one — Loren says she was told it was a car crash, but there’s also an implication that she was attacked by controllers, and we don’t know for sure.  However, the fact of her disability is treated as an aberrant state that needs to be explained, the book inherently asking “why are you like this?”  By contrast (for instance) she doesn’t ask Tobias “why are you in the body of a hawk?”

She views herself as a burden, and the narration doesn’t do enough to contradict her.  Loren says that she couldn’t possibly be expected to raise a child while also blind and coping with a TBI.  Real blind people raise kids all the time, however, including blind single parents, and it’d be nice to see some evidence in the story that Loren’s assumption is wrong.  Loren also apparently assumes that she can’t begin to play a role in Tobias’s life even now that Tobias is more self-sufficient, again because she views herself as relatively helpless and non-contributing due to her disability.  There are some hints that she’s wrong, but we don’t really see her either begin to contribute to the resistance or build a relationship with Tobias until after she’s become un-blind.

Tobias’s view of Loren is often pitying.  As much as Loren doesn’t initially view herself as a potential maternal figure to Tobias, he doesn’t view her as a potential mentor either.  He repeatedly expresses horror or sadness at her life circumstances, and assumes that her life must be barren due to the spartan nature of her home.  (Of course, that begs the question of why the hell a blind woman living alone would ever bother hanging pictures on her walls or putting doilies on her coffee tables, but Tobias doesn’t consider that angle.)  Again, Tobias is allowed to assume that her life must be meaningless if she’s disabled, but it’d be nice to see some contradictory evidence in the form of her having close friends or inane hobbies or some other proof that to lead a disabled life is not to automatically lead a lonely one.

Loren expresses bitterness and desperate desire to be nondisabled.  Again, it’s fine for any character to say “I wish my life was different,” and it’s a common consensus among blind writers/bloggers that being blind is often a pain in the butt.  However, views as extreme as “you need vision to have a fulfilling existence” or “vision is part of what makes us human” are ableist crocks of shit.  Loren doesn’t go so far as to espouse those extreme views, but she also doesn’t seem to view herself as having a well-rounded life in spite of her disability.  It’d be nice to see Loren talking about sight as handy or enjoyable or a thing that the designers of 99% U.S. environments assume everyone must have, rather than a necessary precondition for a minimum standard of life.

Loren’s disability is somewhat medicalized.  Same caveat as above: disabilities are by definition medical things that some bodies do or have that other bodies do not.  However, discussing disability primarily through “this is how your body is different from Implied Normal of Nondisabled Body” and focusing on doctor’s notes, diagnoses, physical differences, etc. can serve to disconnect the lived experience of the individual from their body.  It also tends to focus on the ways that the body is “the problem” rather than focusing on the ways that environments and attitudes are problematic, which then prevents anyone from asking hard questions about the environments and attitudes.  Loren’s doctor’s note, discussion of scarring and loss, and repeated physical descriptions are somewhat more medical than social.  It’d be nice to see a little more emphasis on the social factors that make blindness a disability (e.g. improperly labeled milk), and less on “your eyes are different from those of Implied Normal Nondisabled Person.”