#that is what really gets me abt it. bc if it was a joke i’d be like ok. i don’t think it’s funny but fine.

[what-even-is-sleep]

Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!

[lesbianlenas]

went to see the aces yesterday which first of all they were amazing it was my first time going to a concert w lesbian music and it was very special to me (also the lead singer was so sexy btw js 😩) but ANYWAY. i asked my friend if she wanted to go w me & she had never listened to them before but she said she would and i sent her some of their music to listen to etc etc. so like we went to the concert it was great and afterwards she told me she thought it was boring and she didn’t like the music. which was kind of crazy to me bc it’s like indie pop/rock music and like as someone who does not enjoy the majority of indie music bc i find it boring their music is not boring 😭 so first of all i find that offensive. second of all she was like well if you find a concert from x artists then i would enjoy that and she listed like three artists to me one of which was taylor swift and i was like. yeah where am i gonna get taylor swift tickets lmfao. but the other artist she listed (i don’t remember the third one she said lol) i just looked up his music and i’m legit like 😭😭😭 first of all this man looks like he just finished hibernating for the winter and crawled out of the cave into the sun for the first time in months. second of all. that’s also what his music sounded like. my point being that going to this man’s concert while he strums a single guitar in a flannel shirt and jeans would be a million times more boring than watching women having fun on stage and singing abt lesbianism idk call me crazy………it’s like i would find it more understandable if it was at LEAST interesting music………

[norrizzandpia]

okay so you know how oscar sleeps like anywhere, can we have some thing about how they claim they are friends but theres all these photos that lando has (or anyone really) of them two sleeping in the most random places and lando posts them as a joke (sorry if it doesnt make sense!!)

This request is 💋

Sleeping Buddies or Dating? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.

Warnings: Lando and the other drivers being menaces, language

y/nnn this is payback for making me think you have pics of me and oscar asleep together

Comments:

landonorris I LITERALLY DO???? YOUVE STARTED A WAR

- oscarpiastri lando….

- Mclarensgirly LEAK THEM LANDO

- ln4op81 plz. my bday is in a few days. that would be the best bday present.

- landonorris happy bday then

landonorris ALSO I LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THIS IDK WHAT TF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING

- y/nnn you actually don’t stop being delulu

- oscarpiastri YOURE SPURRING HIM ON

—

landonorris this is for not shutting up 🫶🏻

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS MANY????? EXIST??????

- landonorris yes.

- danielricciardo yes.

- logansargeant yes.

- alexalbon yes.

- charlesleclerc yes.

- y/nnn oh!

y/nnn were you silent or silenced?

ln4andop81 YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND THEY ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER??????

- mclarensgirly in my heart they are 😥

F1gossip they have to be dating no way you fall asleep like that in the second pic and are just friends

- f1fan2023 idk man they’ve done some questionable things in the past and stayed friends

- papayafan481 TRUEEEE like that one time Oscar said in an interview he spends nights at y/n’s all the time and they “get up to some fun” BROS GOTTA KNOWN WHAT THAT MEANS

- mclarennnnn ALSO when he won his first podium and ran up to her and KISSED HER CHEEK???? THATS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF F1 BC HE WAS SO CLOSE TO HER FUCKING LIPS. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME HE DIDNT KISS THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH AND REALIZED HE WAS ON LIVE TV SO GASLIT EVERYONE INTO THINKING HE KISSED HER CHEEK. HE KISSED HER. HE DID.

- f1fan2023 that moment is fs my roman empire. i think abt the logistics of that moment every day

—

logansargeant thought I’d hop on the train ;)

Comments:

y/nnn BRO I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOU

- logansargeant i am SICK AND TIRED of hiding

- mclarensgirly sorry… HIDING WHAT????

- mclarennnnn HE KISSED HER ON LIVE TV.

oscarpiastri you got the audacity from where?

- logansargeant you.

- f1fan81 BYEEEEEE

- mclarensgirly LIGHT HIM UP AMERICAN BOY

- ln4andop81 WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR??????

mclaren are we sensing a soft launch?

- oscarpiastri ADMIN.

- y/nnn UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- mclarensgirly WHAT.

- ln4andop81 MY MANIFESTATIONS ARE COMING TRUE OMFG

- f1fan2023 i can die happy now (i am going to live out the rest of my days living for their relationship)

- landonorris oh shit.

—

oscarpiastri yes, i did kiss her on live tv and tried to gaslight everyone into thinking i kissed her cheek (it worked on all you bitches don’t lie)

Comments:

F1fan2023 WE WON YALL

mclarennnnn I WAS FUCKING RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS FUCKING RIGHT HOLY SHIT

- oscarpiastri your comments were concerning me ngl

- y/nnn yea he thought you were going to expose us

landonorris this hard launch took way too fucking long omg

- y/nnn shut tf up bitch

mclaren we can die happily now 🥹

- mclarensgirly mclarens just like us fr

- oscarpiastri y/n and i no longer wish you death after you outed us

- mclaren NO LONGER?????? YOU DID AT ONE POINT???????

- y/nnn shhh, admin. “no longer”, that’s what you need to pay attention to

—

y/nnn he’s mine now bitches 👹

Comments:

oscarpiastri idk what your obsession is with these two pics

- y/nnn YOURE FUCKING HOT LEAVE ME ALONE

landonorris happy for you ig

- y/nnn I know the heartbreak must be painful

mclaren we would like to take the credit for dressing Oscar in the second pic

- y/nnn you deserve the world for putting him in that jacket.

mclarensgirly im rlly kicking and screaming tho

F1fan2023 i know i said i would die happy bc of this news but suddenly i hate the fact this man is off the market

- landonorris well that sucks bc pastry is sickeningly in love

[ilypaigebuckets]

could you write something about Caitlin based on so high school by Taylor?

literally same wavelength bc i was thinking abt writing this last night that’s crazy!!! i hope you like it! as always my reqs are open for you guys :) feel free to request any scenarios, hcs, prompts, etc <3

pairing: cc x reader

plot summary: caitlin gets asked a question about her girlfriend at a post game interview and it takes her back to her high school years with you.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

“So Caitlin,” an interviewer questions, “you were on fire tonight on the court. What gives you that drive and that power to keep pushing through?” Caitlin tightened her ponytail and cocked her head to the side, thinking of an answer.

“I couldn’t have done it without the support of my family, teammates and of course my Coach. But there’s something else, well someone else, that definitely has played a huge part into my success over the years. My beautiful girl Y/N. She’s supported me through everything, ever since I’ve known her. She’s just this ball of sunshine that’s just..just my everything. She’s been my biggest supporter and being around her just makes me feel like so..i don’t know so high school, I guess?” Caitlin chuckles at the end of her sentence, thinking back to get when first fell for you

I. I want to find you in a crowd just to hide from you.

It was your junior year of high school when you started to get close with Caitlin. You were a new student and had sat by her in her chem class. She took a liking to you immediately. You weren’t exactly the science type, your forte being more English and History; Language composition, Aristotle, socratic seminars, those were your thing. You came right as basketball season was starting and Caitlin saw this as a perfect opportunity to get closer with the pretty girl in her chem.

“Hey! Super random but are you a basketball fan?” Caitlin questioned you, “I have a game today if you want come”.

“I mean it’s not really my thing, but I’d love to come support you!” You replied cheerfully.

Fast forward to the game, your schools team won 58-67, thanks to Caitlin and her amazing skills.

Caitlin’s teammates surrounded her, but all she could think about was the pretty girl in her chemistry class that came to watch her. Just her. She searched for you in the crowd until she finally saw you. She was to scared for your eyes to meet, and quickly looked away. She hurried back to the locker room with her cheeks pink underneath the gymnasium’s twinkling lights. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and checked her phone.

Y/N💕

you were great tonight! thanks for the invite ;)

Caitlin buried her head in her hands. You were going to be the death of her.

2. I’ll drink what you think and I’m high

Later that year, Caitlin took you out to a house party. She thought it would be a great way to get you out of your shell and meeting new people. Not in a romantic sense of course, she already had dibs on you and everyone except her knew it.

At the party you both declined any drinks offered to you, wanting to stay clean and level headed for your first official “hangout” together. Despite staying sober, Caitlin was cracking up at every one of your jokes. You continued them just to see her smile.

“Wonder how much Cait’s had to drink.” One of her teammates said. “Not a drop,” another replied.

The latter was right. Caitlin Clark was simply drunk on love.

3. Are you gonna Marry, Kiss, or Kill me?

The end of your junior year, Caitlin took you to another party. You two were crushing and crushing hard, but hadn’t made anything official yet.

One of your mutual friends suggested you play a game of kiss, marry, kill and being bored out of your minds, you all complied. “So Y/N, kiss, marry, kill. Caitlin, Alexis, and Joshua.” You didn’t skip a beat and replied instantaneously.

“Easy peasy. Cait for all three.”

“WHAT?!” Caitlin shrieked, “You wanna kill me?!” looking at you with an expression of mock horror.

“Well, you can’t pick 2 and not the other. So technically I have no other choice.” You looked at her sweetly.

“Actually I think the point of the game is you assign one name to either kiss, marry, or kill.” Your mutual friend started, “But I’ll let it slide for you two lovebirds.”

4. Touch me while your boys play GTA.

It was your high school senior year. Caitlin’s basketball team was having a relaxed hangout at her house, playing video games. You had made your relationship official over the summer, and were excited to see what this school year had in store for you both.

You and Caitlin were snuggled up together under a blanket on her couch, while her teammates sat on the ground below playing Grand Theft Auto, a game you knew nothing about. You and Caitlin stared at each other intensely and suddenly you jumped in your seat. The hand on your thigh had shocked you, Caitlin had always seemed so PG to you. You looked up at her with an “are you crazy?!” look on your face. She used her free hand to put up her pointer finger to her mouth as if to shush you.

You weren’t quick ready to take things further than that, never having had anybody the way you’d had her before. She of course respected you and gave you a kiss on the forehead, and then proceeded to get up. “Okay guys, time for me to show you why Y/N calls me the Grand Theft Auto Annihilator.”

“Dude. I have never in my life thought about calling you that.”

5. I’m hearing voices, like a madman.

Freshman year of college and you both had committed to the University of Iowa. The two of you had, of course, decided to room together, and were happy and content with how everything had worked out for you too.

Living together proved to be somewhat challenging at first, with Caitlin being quite messy with her things. She was usually level-headed and wasn’t one to start fights, but God forbid you mention something about her not keeping her side of your room clean. Her D1 ego would not allow you to.

That day you two had bickered about Caitlin not doing the dishes like she’d promised to. “Caitlin. There’s literally 3 dishes in the sink, and you said you’d do them. C’mon man.” You said to her, half joking in an attempt to get her to listen without arguing. But Caitlin had already had a stressful morning and was not in the mood. “I’ll do them after,” She spoke curtly. “I have practice.” She jumped up, grabbed her bag, and stalked out of the dorm.

During practice, she was a mess. She kept missing shots. “Serves her right,” She thought to herself, “Little Miss ‘Oh I’m Y/N yes I’m so clean and proper lalalala-” Caitlin paused as she realized how absolutely ridiculous she sounded. She reminded herself of you whenever you did impressions of your dad. In an instant she busted into a fit of giggles, sharing her thought with her teammates so they could laugh too.

After practice, she came straight home to your shared dorm and spent the rest of the night making it up to you with a movie night filled with popcorn, candy, and most importantly a clean sink.

Caitlin snapped back into the present as the interviewer finished her thought, “It sure seems like your girlfriend Y/N has played a huge role in not only your life on the court but also off of it. How sweet! Where is she tonight?”

“She’s actually…” Caitlin turned around to look for you, and saw you walking past her to Kate wearing one of her jersey’s. She softly grabbed your arm and pulled you into the camera’s view. “She’s right here! Hi baby!” Caitlin gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before turning her attention back to the interview.

“So Y/N, in your eyes how do you think Caitlin did tonight?” The interviewer now questioned you.

You took a moment to think and then smiled, “Amazing as always. She’s always been amazing. Ever since high school where I met her.”

[xo-cori]

hi um can i request smthn abt dina crushing readers head with her thighs while they eat her out <3 and reverse cowgirl with her. making her bounce on your lap. UGGGHHHNGH im so down bad for her.

hands on your knees, angelina jolie

pairing: dina woodward x fem!reader

summary: you’ve become addicted to the feeling of her body beneath yours. more specifically, her unassumingly strong thighs.

warnings: smut (MDNI), reader is definitely a munch 😁

a/n: HEYY i only did the first part bc i’m not exactly comfy writing about straps/any dicklike thing in general BUT I HOPE U LIKE ANYWAYS!!!

Her moans fill the dimly lit room, moonlight creeping in from the window that shines a ghostly light across her tan, freckled skin. It’s the middle of the night and she’s pliant underneath your touch. Her fingers make a mess of your hair, her bare chest rises and falls in rapid motion, and her thighs… well, you’d be content to die this way if she happened to break your jaw.

They clench down around the sides of your face, spasming and shivering. Her wetness soaks your chin and the wrinkled bedsheets below. You’ve been at it for well over an hour, yet have made no attempt to pull away or gasp for air. You simply don’t want to– and even if you did, Dina does too good a job of holding you in place until she’s had enough.

“Jus’ like that,” she purrs, looking down to see the way you’re bent down between her legs, ass up in the heavy air, giving her a proper show. “You’re so good to m-me… fuck!”

Your hands come down to her knees, encouraging her to fully close them behind your head as you hum in agreement. The vibrations cause her to throw her head back against the pillows behind her. Your tongue languidly licks up and down her petal-soft folds, jaw aching so badly you’re sure that it’ll be hard to chew the next day, but it’s all worth it when you feel her thighs tighten around your head once more and nearly pull the hair out of your head. Her back arches off of the bed while you open your clouded eyes to look up at her, watching intently as you lick another gentle orgasm out of her; her third one of the night. You sigh into her contently, scooping up all of her cum with your tongue so that you can savor the taste before she weakly pulls you off of her.

“Come here,” Dina breathes, not entirely sure her body even belongs to her anymore.

You crawl up to straddle her hips, leaning down to kiss her properly– she can taste herself on your lips, on your tongue, and she feels the slick that coats your chin. It takes all of her willpower to not jump your tired bones right then and there. Her arms limply wrap around your neck, all of that strength finally gone now that you’d drained all the energy she had. “Maybe one day you’ll actually crush my head.” You laugh against her lips, making her pull away with a gasp.

“Don’t even joke about that.” She demands, cheeks darkening with an obvious embarrassment.

“I’m not joking. You know how happy I’d be to die between your legs?” You sigh dreamily as you collapse on the bed beside her. Dina covers her eyes with her forearm and huffs.

“I’m already not gonna be able to walk tomorrow,” she groans, “so I don’t know where I’ll find the strength to do that.”

“Do what? Crush my skull like a watermelon?” You tease, laughing as she playfully smacks your arm. “It’s fine. I’ll just wait ‘til you’re back in one piece, then get back to hoping.”

Dina turns her head to look at you with a suggestive grin. “You know what? That’s awful, but still kinda turning me on.”

“Really?” You quickly prop yourself up on your arm, a hopeful tone in your voice. “We can go again, I just might have to use my fingers ‘cause my jaw is fucking done for–”

She cuts you off by moving to lay on her side and placing her arm around your waist, forcing you back down to lay with her. A soft smile graces her lips when she feels your hand come up to rub the soreness from her lower back. “You really tuckered me out, horn-dog.”

“Tuckered myself out, too. I’ll wash the sheets in the morning,” you say before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

For now, all you can do is doze off into a blissfully deep sleep and hope that you remembered to lock the front door.

[thatdeadaquarius]

m thinkin abt the “blunt vs flowery” language thing and…… in the year of our lord 2023, i don't even want to imagine how far back we'd have to go in genshins timeline until we see ‘hey shawty' written on a cave wall-

you try to be better about it, sometimes, using only the fanciest words and the most floral of tones, but all you ever succeed in doing is giving zhongli flashbacks to the archon war-

in the same vein: modern humor. would literally make them think "is this some sort of divine joke im too mortal to understand?" except even the archons need to cite sources on why a piece of bread falling over would be funny- maybe you slip sometimes, but you only ever get halfway through like “i’m neurodivergent and a minor” before you realize they don’t know what that means— “what if i had blue hair and pronouns” but they’re just sitting there like… doesn’t everybody have pronouns….? and kaeya has blue hair- are you implying he’s divine? what about chongyun?? xingqiu??????

anyway um. this is me bringing up my unfortunate (but very funny) habit of saying “i’ll boil you like soup” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced and hoping it triggers Thoughts about the casual/slang threats we make and how they cope

sorry if this reads incoherently it’s 1am for me rn— also i’m debating becoming a regular anon here, are your applications open? 👉👈

SORRY IF I RAN U OFF BY NOT REPLYING QUICKLY!! BUT I’D LOVE TO HAVE LABELLED ANONS! I’ve already added some taken name I could see in my mailbox so check the pinned post and choose whatever isn’t taken! phrase or emoji, etc.! :)

this isnt super long bc ur stuff seemed chill on its own/idk what I could add! So I just focused on one aspect

gif is literally everyone reacting to you trying to speak “flowery” like them lol

ALSO u guys probably dont remember bc I took so long but I’m still writing/going to post that Blunt Lang. AU Fanfic One-Shot! so here’s some quick headcanons ill add on ive got anon!!

No TWs/Content Warnings. SFW.

so this was gonna be chill but-

BESDIES RANDOM SHIT LIKE MEME REFERENCES

THAT WONT MAKE SENSE TO THEM BC INHERENT INTERNET/DIGITAL UNDERSTANDING NEEDED

WHAT IF ALL UR JOKES OR REFERENCES ARE QUITE LITERALLY, ANCIENT??

like anon said about even the archons having to pull out sources/cite your stuff to understand it, like finding really old tablets/scrolls/carved wall words 😭

u giving Zhongli a history lesson/brush up LMAO

If ur annoyed at them u just need to make more jokes, leave em scrambling for their pocket notes LOL

I like to think since you sound the OLDEST

that the ancient shit like Phanes/Four Shades/Seven Sovereigns are the closest in speech

(look theyre all alive and shit for my genshin, goddamit i still gotta tell u guys abt my genshin fill-in lore au)

and they’re closer to the “beginning of history” in teyvat so theyd get more references

theyd literally understand u the best and they like, all in the Abyss or like deep in Teyvat,

so u just casually strolling up to Azdaha’s place instead like

“How’s your day been Azhy?”

“Same as the days many before, my lord. How are thee?”

“Good enough, hey, why don’t I bring some food from my old world by that I’ve made for you to try out? Something new, y’know?”

camera pan left to see Zhongli looking up, then back down as he scribbles notes trying to better understand, Xiao has crossed his arms and is squinting, Ganyu is behind Zhongli and is trying to peek over his shoulder, Cloud Retainer and other adepti have like hidden nearby to overhear lol

♤

FLASHBACKS FOR ZHONGLI-

HE’S OVER HERE LIKE

“Please do not disturb your countenance my Wànsuìyé, the vernacular is pleasant to mine ears and sufficient for speech.”

“I shall, uh, try my best Zhongli, thought I know ye have- wait- thy have? Whatever, accepted it, I shall keep attempting to better match thee!”

HIS FACE-

He’s literally just → 😰😣💀

(flashback to at least 1 really ancient/old god he had to fight for his life against, they were the hardest battle he’s ever faced, and Azhdaha was helping him by that point too, so it wasn’t even like he won alone… rip zhongli got ptsd)

He keeps trying to subtly stop you from practicing it, he also desperately discourages others from helping you 😭

(Zhongli was about to be called Rex Lapis again when Venti was trying to get on his last nerve by constantly encouraging you to speak fancier, but in the incorrect way, at dinner with them one time)

Like that last content with them pretending not to kow each other but 5x the tension and Venti is fooling around even more so than usual lol

THANKS FOR SENDING IN YOUR IDEAS!! I FUCKING LOVE HEARING OTHER PPLS BRAINROTS OVER STUFF!! AND SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK FOREVER!! ITS BEEN A ROUGH YEAR OF UNI FOR ME/IM GRADUATING!! <333 TYSM ANON!!

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonderss / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylazaa / @genshin-impacts-mee / @wholesomey-artistt / @thedevioussmirk

[crguang]

also the overalls on Kafka, her in a suit is always so nice, like I need to put on her tie for her and adjust her collar and kiss her goodbye before she goes to kill a ton of people. When she comes home yank her by the tie and kiss her dumb, and the overalls are coming off. Also she’s drinking again, she went to the bar immediately. I rewatched her trailer, like ik she killed all the guards but I need to be one of them, especially the one at the end, idc if I’m gonna get shot, like her pose, the legs? if Kafka did that to me…I would not survive. And I saw a screenshot of her from like an early game trailer like an anime opening type thing with her name in the background …her legs, omg I need her so bad.

I checked her other replies and it was biographical films and she said “I also enjoy the feeling of reading about and watching others' lives” which makes sense, she def likes analyzing people’s lives and stuff smth smth I don’t like the idea of a movie being made abt me w the director’s interpretation of me, which I thought was interesting, bc obv she’s an “actor” if Elio is the director. And the other one is sci-fi and she says smth like they’re set in the future but the past is repeated in the future. Which is silly bc sci-fi still existing in hsr like what are sci-fi movies abt there? I got gifted lavender oil, to help relax my brain or smth, and makes it easier to sleep, so hopefully that helps too.

-🌠

kafka in a suit always does things to me i love her stupid suspenders so much she looks so edible i need to chew her like bubblegum. and yeah i joke abt her always having a drink in hand but it’s kinda true like maybe it’s time for an intervention…..

we dont talk about kafka doing the world a favor by shooting ipc goons in the head often enough. if i was that dude she was leaning over with her boobs in his face and shot me in the face i’d die happy. like what a way to go. need to sit on her lapppp i need it i need it

learning stuff about her makes me smile so big like of course she enjoys getting in people’s heads it’s her whole thing… did she actually say that she wouldn’t want a movie made about her… it makes sense, since she keeps everyone at a distance and keeps her cards close to her chest no one could know her well enough to understand her fully, so their interpretation of her would never be true to the source material. i really love how mysterious she is and how much effort that goes into staying that way like shes so silly😭 i would argue that elio is also an actor though, he doesn’t control her and hes also just “destiny’s slave”. the scripts/possibilites are already written, he just relays them and twists them to his advantage.

the line about the past repeating itself in the future also makes sense considering that she follows the path of finality, in a “we come from the earth we’ll go back to the earth” kind of way… she also says something similar in a voice line (the past and the future are so similar to each other. i’m indifferent towards them) and im starting to understand what she means by that, even tho im still a little confused about what future she’s talking about. cause she clearly cares about hers lol

[duffs-balls]

The Dilfest

HELLOOO GUYSS

the title is kinda joke cause this is just a silly story so i cant think of a good title

anyway like i said this is a silly little story abt velvet revolver era duff hihi he makes me so horny please someone let me go back in time and fuck him🤗

IF YOU NOTICE ANY SPELLING/GRAMMAR MISTAKES TELL ME PLEASEEE YOU WOTN SOUND LIKE A NERDY BITCH I PROMISE

ALSO IF UOU HAVE ANY PROMPTS YOUD LIKE ME TO WRITE U CAN COMMENT OR DM ME ALTHOUGJ I DONT WRITE VERY FAST BC IT AINT MY PRIORITY BUT WHATEVA

ANYWAY this is just some fluff bc yes

uhh warnings?? i guess smoking, drinking and dilfs

GRRRR BARK BARK WOOF EGGRRRRRRBARKAAAABRAKWOOOFFFFGRRRRGRRRRRNNNNBARJ BARK BARK WOOF

I saw him there again, smoking a cigar. He looks oh-so hot. His wavy, blonde hair framing his face just right. His low-rise black flare jeans. His tight shirt.

Jesus Christ.

I saw him sitting at the same bar, in the same spot, at the same time a week ago. He wouldn’t order any alcoholic drinks, just water or an energy drink. He was with another guy last week, but he was alone today. I could go and talk to him. Should I? No. Maybe? No, what if he already has someone? No ring. Maybe he’ll think I’m annoying. Should I just wait until he talks to me? Maybe he won’t see me. Is my hair alright? Fuck, he’s so hot. He’s coming my way now.

Hold up, he’s coming my way? Holy shit. Shit, shit, shit. Look away, look away.

“Hey.”

Oh, Lord.

“Huh? Oh, hey.” I smile at him, my heart racing in my chest. He sits down on the chair next to me. Fuck, his thighs. He’s even hotter up close.

“I saw you lookin’ at me, honey.” His smirk. Oh my God, his smirk.

“Oh, did you?” My voice is trembling slightly, an awkward smile on my face. Dumbass. Get your shit together.

“Yeah, I did.” He reaches up and brushes a lock of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. I could feel my cheeks heating up, and the chuckle rumbling from deep in his throat was the confirmation.

“What’s your name, babe?” His voice was low and raspy, the corners of his mouth still curled up into a slight smirk.

“Y/n.” His hand came down onto my thigh, stroking up and down with a gentle but firm grip. I started to relax a little, not as shocked and frozen as I was at first anymore. I glance down at his hand, before adding; “And you are…?”

“Duff.” I didn’t expect a name like that. But then again, he did look like some sort of rockstar. “McKagan.”

Y/n McKagan..

No. I just met him.

“Really? Your name’s Duff?” A small, disbelieving smile tugs at my lips. He chuckles and nods. His laugh was so sexy. So pretty.

“I like that.” I say softly, taking another sip of my drink.

“Yeah?” He couldn’t take his eyes off me. He watches me drink, his eyes locked on my face, before moving down to my neck as I swallow.

“Yeah.” I put my glass back down on the bar before turning to him. I look into his eyes, and completely drift off to a whole ass different universe. Completely lost in each other, none of us says anything. It isn’t a weird, uncomfortable silence, though. It’s just silence, and it’s okay.

Until I snap out of it, clearing my throat as I realise he might not be staring at me in the same way I was at him. I look away, chugging the rest of my drink to try and get my racing mind to calm the fuck down a little.

“Well, I’d better get going.”

WHAT?? No way in HELL that just came out of my mouth. Fuck. Better roll with it now.

“What? Why?” He stands up right after I do, reaching out to grab my hand. Holy shit. He grabbed my hand. Now that we’re both standing up, I notice how he towers over me. How the fuck is he so tall?

“Uh, I told my friend I’d be back by now.” Lie.

“Friend..? Boy… friend?” Was he really asking this? Woah.

“No, no. Not boyfriend. Just.. Friend.” I smile at him, not being able to resist weaving my fingers through his. I can’t believe I’m actually holding hands with him. Oh my god. I can’t.

“Okay, well, I really gotta get rollin’.” I smile at him and let go of his hand, waiting for a moment, unsure of what to do before slowly turning and walking away. I should’ve told him I liked talking to him. Fuck. I might never see him again. Should I just turn around? I could. No, that’d be weird. Why is this so hard? It’s never so hard. Fuck. I’m already out the door now, can’t go back.

I do the riskiest thing and look over my shoulder. He was still looking at me. Shit, shit, shit. What do I do? Panic. Look away. FUCK. Why’d I look away? Oh my God.

I walk home, almost bumping into multiple people on the street because I was so lost in thought. I couldn’t get him out of my head. He was so gorgeous, and so sweet. I could’ve still been talking with him right now. Fuck me.

/Fast forward: One week\

He kept popping up into my head all week. When I’d watch a movie, there he was. When I’d be out getting some stuff from the store, there he was. When I’d be laying in bed at night trying to sleep, there he was. The sound of his voice, the sight of his smile, the feel of his hand. Fuck.

I need to find him.

I decide to go to the same bar I went to last week and the week before where I’d seen him, having the highest expectations.

I’m walking way faster than normal, passing everyone on the sidewalk as I make my way to the bar. Please, please, please, let him be there.

Okay, we’re in. Many people, many faces. I slowly walk through the crowd, frantically looking around for him. Fuck. Can’t see him. I sit down with a sigh, ordering some vodka. The liquid disappears quickly as I keep anxiously looking around for him, and soon there’s a new, full glass next to my empty one. I can feel myself getting drunker as I keep on drinking drink after drink. I’d never been a big drinker, but for some reason I couldn’t stop tonight. My sight is getting blurry and I’m starting to get dizzy as someone approaches me. My eyes light up as I recognise him, a big smile appearing on my face. I’m so relieved to see him and too drunk to care as I hug him. “Duff!” I exclaim. He chuckles and returns the hug, his strong arms wrapping around my waist. “Y/n!” He says in the same tone as me, although he’s doing it a little to mock me.

I pull back and sit on the chair I was previously sitting on, my hand coming to rest on his knee. “I was looking for you.” I tell him, my voice slurred. “Oh, yeah?” He chuckles, finding my drunken state amusing. “Mhm.” I nod, smiling goofily. I knew I was making a fool out of myself, but I didn’t realise that then in my drunkenness.

“How much did you drink, love?” His smile was making me melt. “Uh, I dunno. They took my empty glasses away.”

We talked for a bit, although it wasn’t all that since I was wasted.

“Maybe we should go home.” He suggests after some time.

“Awe, really? I don’t wanna leave you just yet, babe.” I pout slightly before breaking out into a smile. I playfully tug at his bottom lip with my thumb, finding it funny for some reason. I’d started calling him babe, not even noticing that I was doing it.

“Come. You can stay with me.” Holy shit. Is this happening?

He stood up, before offering his hand to pull me up. This is happening. I grin up at him and stumble slightly as I stand up, grabbing his arm to steady myself. He chuckles at me, sneaking his arm around my waist to keep me from falling. “I like how you think.” I murmur. I can’t keep my eyes off him as we make our way out the bar, resulting in me stumbling even more.

I lean heavily on him as we walk down the street to the parking lot, although he doesn’t seem to mind. He can easily hold me up, and I’m pretty sure that’s because he works out. Sexy.

There’s a bit of playful banter going on as we get to his car, and I smirk up at him as he helps me into the passenger’s seat. He grabs my seatbelt and leans over me to put it on, his arms flexing right in front of my face. He closes the door and hurries to the other side of the car, getting in and putting on his own seatbelt. Once he looks to the side, he sees that I’m already passed out cold. He chuckles and starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot while glancing over at me now and then.

After a few moments, I fall sideways in my sleep as he makes a turn, my head falling onto his shoulder. My hand instinctively reaches out to hold onto his arm, and I snuggle a little closer to him. He chuckles softly and places a kiss to the top of my head, before looking back at the road.

WASSUP SLUUUUTTSSSS

YES THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS DONT WORRY POOKIES

GUYS HERE IT IS

also dont mind how unrealistic the drunk thing is this is coming from a 13 year old guy called ben fucking bitterbal who has never drunk alcohol or been drunk so idk if u have tips on how to write it better just tell mr also

heres some more pics i didnt feel like dragging up to the top of this thing hihi

[realcube]

YOU GOT: TŌRU OIKAWA

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ matchup for @s0dium

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ if you would like a matchup, read this!

'I day dream about taekwondo and in another life I swear I’d be an Olympic taekwondo champion!'

𓆩♡𓆪 ok these first few are kinda rapid fire but

𓆩♡𓆪 i think this sort of ambition , especially for a sport, would be soo attractive to oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 like he might not know much about taekwondo but he would SO listen to you rant about how you could've bet x fighter in a match or how you could've won y tournament

𓆩♡𓆪 and everytime he is like 'yes >:( so true queen... they're lucky you didn't compete bc you'd send them ALL to the unemployment office expeditiously'

𓆩♡𓆪 you feed his vb dreams and he'll feed your taekwondo dreams 💞

𓆩♡𓆪 shared manifestation

𓆩♡𓆪 although he would so be sneaky and coniving about it by signing you up for competitions without you knowing

𓆩♡𓆪 you'd just be minding your own business and he'll come up you like 'hm why aren't you training?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'training for what?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'your taekwondo contest next week.'

𓆩♡𓆪 'WHAT taekwondo contest!?!?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'the one i signed you up for. you should probably start practising. i heard the competition is pretty fierce this year.' he sips his chai and walks away.

𓆩♡𓆪 then you jump him and use your taekwondo moves to beat his ass

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'I’m a huge academic over achiever I always strive to be and do my best.'

𓆩♡𓆪 literally a match made for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 born over achiever , just in a different sense

𓆩♡𓆪 so much so he got a complex over a boya year or two younger than him catching up to him in talent , so he relates to the struggle

𓆩♡𓆪 i don't really remember anything ever being mentioned about how he performs academically buuuut

𓆩♡𓆪 considering how smart he is during matches, i'm sure that kinda intelligence is somewhat transferrable

𓆩♡𓆪 study dates???

𓆩♡𓆪 tbh he'd be the first to get distracted and start flirting with you

𓆩♡𓆪 meanwhile you're tryna grind

𓆩♡𓆪 though i do hc he kinda does well academically , and would be in at least some of your classes

𓆩♡𓆪 seems like a maths nerd ??

𓆩♡𓆪 one time y'all were doing hw together and thought he was being so intelligent by pointing out you didn't derive properly but then you're like??? nothing on this page is being derived?

𓆩♡𓆪 and he never commented on your work again

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Muscular tall men is where it’s at 😎'

𓆩♡𓆪 i had to think for a moment if oikawa fits into this category bc like he's defo tall ( 6 foot) but idk i remember him being a bit skinnier compared to the other characters

𓆩♡𓆪 but mans has a lil smth going onnnnn esp post time skip

𓆩♡𓆪 source one (ARRRMMS?) , source two (LEGGGSSS???????)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Fun fact abt me is that I was in a blockbuster movie one time and that is how I pay a lot of my bills, I even got a IMDb page someone made that I can’t get taken down'

𓆩♡𓆪 he will never let you live that down btw

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and you can bet your ass that he's telling everyone he is dating a famous actress and will direct them to whatever movie you were in

𓆩♡𓆪 post-time skip oikawa will even be telling the press + talk shows

𓆩♡𓆪 and he maybe didn't make the imdb page but oikawa is 100000% using an alt account to re-make it all the time and add stuff to it so the imdb ppl never delete it

𓆩♡𓆪 he's a menace unfortunately

𓆩♡𓆪 and he is defo the type to pay for all dates

𓆩♡𓆪 (like don't even make eye-contact with your wallet because he's bark at you)

𓆩♡𓆪 ('just bring your lipgloss, phone and my phone too :P' he says, everytime y'all are about to leave the house.)

𓆩♡𓆪 BUT on the off chance you pay bc it's something small like ice-cream and you were too quick , he'll ALWAYS without a single doubt make a joke to whoever is taking the money along the lines of , 'don't worry , she's a famous actress. she can afford it.' AJFEURGFEIF

𓆩♡𓆪 literally everytime and sometimes the shopkeeper will ask for your autograph because of what he says, even if they don't recognise you lol

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'ideal first date would be ice skating or a snowball fight!!'

𓆩♡𓆪 that is literally so cute and aesthetic oml

𓆩♡𓆪 so perfect for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 he probably doesn't know how to skate but i don't think it would take him much time to learn and find the ropes

𓆩♡𓆪 he won't be stumbling for long so while he is, please make the most of every moment and tease him as much as you physically can lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 if you are an expert though, like if you can do the tricks n stuff, he is going to be outwardly sooo sour about it but inwardly impressed

𓆩♡𓆪 he says 'omg stop showing off 🙄' but he thinks 'wow my gorgeous ice princess 😲🥰'

𓆩♡𓆪 will take videos of you skating and post them on social media with corny captions 😌

𓆩♡𓆪 another good thing is that oikawa is so down to take GOOD pictures and is always taking candids of you

𓆩♡𓆪 he is not the type to complain about you making him pose with you, he just makes sure to serve extra hard

𓆩♡𓆪 as for snowball fights, he is soo competitive with it but will secretly always let you win because he loves to see you happy and celebrating

𓆩♡𓆪 he plays dirty though and WILL put snow in your hood then put your hood over your head

𓆩♡𓆪 it's just in his nature unfortunately lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 also playfully mean to you sometimes

𓆩♡𓆪 you see he made a snow angel and you lay down next to it and start to make one adjacent to his so it looks like they are holding hands

𓆩♡𓆪 when he notices this he gasps in horror, "hey! don't put your snow demon beside my snow angel !!!"

𓆩♡𓆪 (but it's okay because you use your taekwondo moves to kick the head off his snowman)

𓆩♡𓆪 (his name was snowykawa... rip...)

𓆩♡𓆪 but also the sweetest bf ever (at times)

𓆩♡𓆪 tells you how beautiful you look with snowflakes in your hair

𓆩♡𓆪 makes you hot cocoa with the marshmallows arranged in a heart

𓆩♡𓆪 gives you his mittens if your hands get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 carries you back inside if your feet get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 overall just whipped for you and does a bad job at hiding it

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

for @s0dium: kinda thinking bokuto for you but i thought that might be too predictable. also the overachiever thing made me think oikawa sooo.

[lesbianlenas]

i am asking this in a 100% genuine way like fr. what is up w women talking abt men they are obsessed w and being like he’s like a woman to me and talking abt a man like they are a woman like i do not get it at all. and acting like them being attracted to that man is the same as being attracted to a woman bc they keep calling him a woman??? like i am sure you have all seen this it is very popular these days. and not even just abt men that are more androgynous either. i truly do not get it if u like women so much why don’t u just fixate on a woman instead of fixating on a man and calling him a woman??? does anyone have any insight into why ppl r doing this bc it is truly baffling to me…..

[psihawaii]

ive finishied green vs red and i have no idea what i just watched. i know you said you dont need to watch any of the others but does it help?

but i did think it was funny and interesting, it has that fullmetal alchemist property where all the main characters are men but my favorite characters are the women. my favorite joke in the whole thing was the zoom in on lupins goofy ass grin in a mugshot with the subtitle ‘he’s always smart and cool’

I will say that me going ‘you dont have to know anything abt lupin iii at all going in 👍’ is moreso a personal thing abt me wanting to make the experience as confusing as possible, mostly if not entirely bc 1. I think it’s funny and 2. The film Also wants to make the experience of watching it as confusing as possible for plot reasons what with scenes being deliberately out of order + the movie never really explaining it’s main… Concept. I guess? I definitely don’t think it was the intended viewing experience (it was supposed to be a 40th anniversary special LMAO it is supposed to be a celebration of the franchise) but I just think it’s interesting to gauge ppls thoughts about what it could mean bc. In my opinion, green vs red’s larger Themes aren’t specific to lupin as much as they are abt any popular ‘morally grey’ male character/real. actual person/the effect media and fiction has on our real lives.

But to answer your question, i think knowing anything abt lupin iii only rlly helps with figuring out the preexisting characters relationship to lupin (which, sounds like a Big Thing, and i definitely do think knowing them a little makes for some Crazy implications with the concept of the film, but i think you get Enough context from what’s shown in the film + the thoughts and feelings of the gvr exclusive characters are more important, which do get explored thoroughly (or as thoroughly as the film can explain it)) and with all the lupin iii references (which are… obviously gonna be superfluous. theyre cute!! and i like em. but theyre not Needed to completely enjoy the flim). I feel like i’d be putting ‘Who Lupin Is. Like As A Person’ on this list, but again i feel like theres enough context within the film where you can figure it/what you Need to to watch it out. But of course im biased bc i watched green vs red pretty late into my lupin phase + i’ve watched it like five times in the past year.

BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!! It genuinely is one of my favorite movies of all time despite its problems. I think the idea of a really popular anime doing a non-linear metacommentary on itself as an anniversary film is Insane and whether or not you (the royal you. not you specifically syl) think it was executed well or a good celebration of the franchise its at least INTERESTING its a lot to think about… I really do like it as a commentary about legacy and idolizing problematic figures and how the media you consume/what you’re shown affects you as a person good and bad its… gaaahhhhhhh. I love media thats abt media.

And the thing abt lupin As A Whole really is that. It has really good women with crazy stories and roles and implications and it treats them HORRIBLYYYYYYYY like 85% of the time. the woman called fujiko mine (another artsy divisive examination of the franchise) is SUPPOSED to be more focused on its women (or woman. Singular.) and her role in the series and its…… interesting. good and bad. i would not say it centers women in a way thats tasteful or uhm… good as a narrative (at least towards the end) (and i feel like all of the Good interesting things it has to say that hold up by the end all have to do with the men!!!!!) (i almost wanna recommend twcfm to ppl as well but i have supremely Less authority on it and claim Less responsibility on the feelings anyone may or may not have abt it)

[jihyoruri]

okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL 

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later 

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis 

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder 

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!”  (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss 

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult 

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive 

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food. 

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me 

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

[6okuto]

NIA OMFG SO ABT THE DATING APP POST U MADE (replies could not handle the novel I am about to impose on you)

the way I am so in love with iwa but he’s the epitome of not my irl type 😭 gym bros and their bland responses to hinge prompts scare me and I feel that he would have the exact profile you were talking abt. his redeeming quality would be like. a dog.

SAME WITH ATSUMU AND IT PAINS ME. PHYSICALLY PAINS ME BC THAT IS MY HUSBAND.

Bokuto would be the exception to the gym bro thing bc he is also a himbo and it shows (in the best way possible) and no one can resist that.

half of hq would not be my type irl and the other half that would be?? I’d be too scared to try to match cause they’re. gorgeous??????? Hello???

HOWEVER Akashi’s profile would totally be like cafe date vibes, libraries and very just. CALMING AND NICE AND I’D DO THE SAME AS YOU. The only thing is I think his prompt responses (I’m on hinge so this is the only dating app format ik) wouldn’t really give you tooooo much to work with but it’s ok no one can be perfect.

I think kuroo’s would be like super bf material tho. Like the kind of profile that you’re certain gets a lot of interaction and makes you wonder if he’s even active on the app anymore LOL. also gives good responses, he’s just slightly dorky but it’s so endearing and it adds to the appeal of his profile.

I think suna’s would be super chill with like humorous undertones and I’d probably end up trying to match with him bc of that. he gives gooddddd responses that are genuinely fun and non repetitive. he’s also not dry if you end up matching.

yk what no I’m giving atsumu a chance here. his prompt responses are. interesting to say the least. dry. he comes across a bit cocky. but his pictures don’t if that makes sense??? like he comes off as a genuinely sweet guy in his photos and videos. maybe I’m just too soft for him and I’m projecting, this is embarrassing.

I wanna add something abt oikawa but I genuinely cannot think of anything other than his photos would be insanely aesthetic and pretty. responses need a bit of work and his opening lines come off a bit strong but. it’s okay. he’s perfect and can do no wrong imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

ANYWAY SORRY I JUST GOT EXCITED AND WANTED TO SHARE. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THE SMAU, I WOULD EAT THAT UP!!!!!

HAIII REV!! EXACTLY. exactly. i'm sorry but not even a dog is enough for me i'm like Omg little dog and then don't match I'm sorry hajime.. Bokuto... my cutie pie naoooo 😭😭 i'd like to hope he'd answer the prompts cutely/in a funny way but i still wouldn't think we'd match well and skip him... BUT!!!! I think if they replied to one of my prompts i'd reply...?! < girl who Never Ever matches first Ever. like there's a photo where their smile looks very cutesie and i'm like Why not!

Akaashi. 🙂teehee. my favoritism i'm sorry everybody. he doesn't really have photos of himself so he has to ask friends for some and there's like one photo that's dimly lit where he's smiling with fluffy hair that would make my jaw drop and tears form in my eyes i'd want him so bad. one of his prompt answers would be like. a joke about how tired he is with all the work he has. something kind of basic But i love him so it's ok. for me specifically i mention my dislike for HTTYD 3 and i think he'd reply and be like wait you're so right can u explain more or something like that and I would Start Crying tears Of Joy PLEAASELEAASE PLEAPSAPPSLEPLEPA

omg kuroo. i understand. i actually first had the idea he looks kind of dorky (/affectionate) but he has a couple good photos and a meme and it's like Oh he's so real for that. also he's totaallyyy somebody who does an audio prompt 😭 it's something fawking stupid /Affectionate and i'd show my irls and we'd be like wait he's kinda cute while we laugh BJSHFBJSD there's also a group photo somewhere on there ! and maybe a video where you can hear him cackling! silly guy...

suna would have a stupid ass block text meme somewhere on his profile LOLLL there's a photo where he's in his room in the dark but i can also imagine he has one with good lighting outside that's one of the few he has... he Would be funny! he's all lowercase until u say something that gets him to laugh and he goes LMFAOOOOO WAIT and it's like Yes I got a good grade in Hinge. BFJSHBJSB

ATSUMU! totally has a pic where he's showing off his muscles or spiking But also wait he looks kind of cute and dorky in this other photo and also his prompt responses are funny this is crazy? I UNDERSTAND!!! maybe it could be like... he's not someone you'd swipe on initially but he sees Your profile and tries to switch it up to cater to you before replying to one of your prompts LOL. and maybe there's a pic of him helping samu make onigiri or just... something kind of domestic that makes u go oh alright he's nice?!

HMM OIKAWA.... also a volleyball pic somewhere. maybe with a medal or trophy of his LOL. but he can take good selfies Unfortunately smhhh /j so you're like aw fuck... i think i'd be like oh you're out of my league or Not my type but if that kind of guy replies to one of your prompts...Would you not be a little curious to see how that convo goes. he's good looking enough that he could just like people's first pic and move on but You're special and Funny and he's Curious okay!!!

THANK U!!! HTANKYEWWW I LOVE THINKING AND TALKING AND SHARING AND HEARING IDEAS IT'S SO FUNSIES NEVER APOLOGIZE 2 ME! i have So many smau series ideas bouncing around in my head i've never tried but if i ever do this one...U will b the first 2 know.

[stunie]

so happy i haven’t missed this round of zevie matchups!! quite nervous abt this tbh but i have really enjoyed reading thru what you’ve posted so far! it’s clear how much u enjoy making these as well, which make them so special & fun to read!

i’m into hq, bllk, jjk, & wnb! i’m a bit of a yapper i kinda always end up talking.. i’m quite playful & like to joke around. i’ve usually fallen for people because of good banter or they’ve fallen for me bc of that. i’d say i’m a tease or kinda a brat like there’s a good chance of me having an attitude but i usually end up listening. but also i get flustered very easily like i’ll tease n then get surprised when there are repercussions to my behavior….. ummmmm im a very sleepy girl i love naps. i like to read i like history i love museums n reading all the signs in all the exhibits. i like to play video games although i kinda suck at like.. all of them JDJDJFKFKFKG!! i tend to like or be with people who like to fix things for me?? like someone who’ll parallel park my car for me.. or keep track of the directions cuz i get lost easily… forget things easily in general tbh. also terrible with directions. someone who will order for me or talk to store employees i have no clue why they make me So nervous aaaaa!! i also like tall people :3 and gentlemen/people with good hearts like.. i see someone treating their friends well and that’s like an instant WOW! for me!!! tbvh i get frustrated/annoyed rather easily (which does end up in a lot of complaining i will be truthful.) but i don’t get actually mad easily. i forgive easily/give a lot of chances especially to those i love.

hopefully this wasn’t too long!! thank u so much for reading & all ur hard work evie!!!

ANON !!! omg my excitement is showing ? 😭 i like these a little more than i let on … i am in fact having a blast !!! I LOVE YOURS OK SO IM THINKING …..

i was halfway through your ask and i was like WOW YOU AND HIRAGI WOULD BE A PAIRING I WOULD LOVE TO SEE. i adore this dynamic with my whole heart. you like to joke around, a tease or kind of a brat … but you get flustered / surprised AAAA NEED TO SEE THAT WITH HIRAGI. tease him. get under his skin !!! be a brat with him …. and then as soon as he’s got you flustered, he’s like “you weren’t all timid 5 minutes ago when you were ___” hshsjdndndj oh my gosh. you go and read those museum signs !! he’ll be right behind you ^ ^ WHO ELSE TO FIX THINGS AND PARALLEL PARK. i feel like he’s really good at parking… also your type ? he’s … he’s that. i also think you latching onto his arm while he walks u home + listens to any complaining is cute ^ ^

[vintage-bentley]

never thought id defend hazbin hotel but life comes at you from unexpected angles lol

I think a lot of the lesbian rep ive seen has been so chaste and basically besties bc otherwise ppl say its fetishising or appealing to men? bc when i was really into the harley quinn show there was a lot of accusations how the main romance (harley x ivy) was super fetishistic even tho the buildup was really good and the only thing that changed when they got together was that they talked abt their sex lives a lot, and sex is half the show's humor otherwise so it wasnt out of place at all.

idk i feel like lesbian rep is always damned if you do damned if you dont

Unfortunately I agree. And I would blame misogyny, but I see it happening with gay male representation as well. You either have uwu soft bois for straight women who want the romance but think gay sex is icky, or you have fetishised hot dudes for the straight women who are obsessed with what gay men do in bed.

So I think it just comes down to how poorly heterosexuals view homosexuals, and how our representation always has to serve them first and foremost. It can’t make them uncomfortable by being explicit…but if it is going to be explicit, it better make them horny.

I haven’t watched Harley Quinn yet (it’s on my list!), but if the whole show is full of sex jokes I don’t think I’d mind a sexualised lesbian couple. Although maybe it has to do with the genre…women in superhero shows are always going to be sexualised because those kinds of shows cater to a (straight) male audience. Although I’m not sure if that applies to HQ. I can’t really comment because I haven’t watched it.

With HH, I agree that they’d be receiving criticism either way. Who knows, in another universe a version of me might be posting about how much she hates how sexualised Chaggie was lol.

But I think the reason it stands out to me so much, is because of how sexualised the rest of the characters are, especially the gay and bi men. Vox and Val are shown making out with tongue in the finale song. Angel Dust is the embodiment of what I would show as an example of how straight women fetishise gay male characters. So Chaggie really stands out to me as being sanitised because they’re an F/F couple, considering nobody else gets that treatment.

It comes off to me as a straight woman (or a bi woman with a heavy preference/bias towards men, idk the creator’s sexuality) who reallllly wants to think about men kissing and fucking each other, but doesn’t give a shit about or is uncomfortable with the idea of women doing the same together.

[ardentpoop]

what are your favorite cute sam moments :) cute as in what YOU think is cute

really sweet question and also difficult to answer bc you should’ve seen me like tearing up w/ adoration every other ep by the time I got to s7 in my rewatch (the point at which I got Crazy abt him again)

top of mind:

first few eps of s10 arm sling and extra short hair. like literally he’d just be standing there and I’d feel like screaming and crying. oh, and esp after cole beats him up and his face is all bruised. and when he’s giving demon!dean the eyes. help

again s10 “you know women get better with age. like cheese.” / (stuttering) “I’m lactose intolerant, so….”

AGAIN s10 “nice screen name, dean. [mockingly deep voice] impala67”

s3 sin city when the girl at the bar hits on him and he looks around like a scared dog

I forget the episode but I’m pretty sure it’s s11 and cas is talking to them on speaker in the car and Comedically Misunderstanding netflix and sam gives dean the biggest smile ever (it’s a jared smile tbh but that makes it cuter)

I think s12 mick(???) is explaining some lore to them or whatever and sam goes “cool!! :D” before dean glares at him disapprovingly bc they’re not supposed to be cooperating with him. or something. I don’t remember the details I just remember wanting to make out w sam sorry

every time he goes like this >:[ after dean makes a stupid joke

every time he smiles/laughs fondly after dean makes a stupid joke

soulless!sam “I was picking every friggin word, dean, it was exhausting” (and all other instances of baby-brother voice)

every time he hugs mary and he looks 2 inches tall but also huge