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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years

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Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

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Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to.

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows.

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets.

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later.

Then came The Witchers.

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see.

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live.

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly.

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus.

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person.

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings.

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again.

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear.

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived.

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off.

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands.

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming.

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train.

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable.

It was surreal.

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time.

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent.

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck.

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either.

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications.

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.”

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makeste · 4 years

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BnHA Chapter 288: ZOOM AND ENHANCE

Previously on BnHA: Tomura, AFO, Deku, and Nana all met up inside of OFA and were all, “wow this is awkward.” AFO talked a whole bunch about vestiges before realizing that nobody cared (EXCEPT FOR ME. I CARED!!), and was then all “anyway so just to get everyone up to speed here, Tomura is Nana’s grandson.” OFA appeared and was all “what up bro I see you’re still a dick”, and then everyone stood around for a bit waging psychokinetic war on each other and blowing up on the ground and shit. This didn’t really accomplish anything, so AFO shifted gears and started trash talking Deku instead, because he’s a whiny little punkass loser who can’t admit when his brother has gotten the best of him yet again! OFA was all “anyways Deku rules and haters gonna hate, peace”, and then everyone wooshed back out of OFA and back into the real world, Deku with his quirk still intact. Meanwhile Gigantomachia and the LoV stampeded ever closer to the city, and Toga started monologuing in preparation for a seemingly inevitable battle with Ochako! And then the chapter basically just ended there lol.

Today on BnHA: Imagine you are Uraraka Ochako. And you’re out here doing what you do best, saving bitches and being a badass, when all of a sudden some old lady runs up to you and is all “PLEASE HELP ME, MY HUSBAND IS ASLEEP OR SOME SHIT, YOU KNOW US OLD PEOPLE, WE’RE SO FUCKING FEEBLE AND HAPLESS.” And so you’re all “OF COURSE” because you’re a good fucking person, and then she speeds off like she’s got fucking wheels and it’s like damn, grandma, were you in varsity track or what, and then OUT OF NOWHERE she just spontaneously turns into HIMIKO FUCKING TOGA. And she’s all naked and shit, and it’s like damn, Toga, where are your clothes, and she just giggles and ducks into a nearby building. And so you follow her for god knows what reason, and she fucking pounces on you and starts interrogating you in like the most seductive way possible, and you’re all wtf is this. Like, can you even imagine. Anyway so Ochako is having quite a day.

okay lol so I’ve gotta kind of rush through this since I’ve got other stuff I need to wrap up today as well, so! fingers crossed that we get a nice, simple chapter with no controversies or elaborate revelations or anything like that! just give me lots of stuff to mindlessly keysmash about, Horikoshi. I’m counting on you bro

lol what

an actual fucking plane?? is that allowed?? how bizarrely normal. are we sure this plane does not shoot lasers or something or is powered by someone with like a fusion reactor quirk idk

and who tf is Takeo-san. some random guy Horikoshi is suddenly introducing after 300 chapters to come save everyone at the last minute? pretty sus. Horikoshi is this your self insert

GASP

NO WAY THIS IS ALL MIGHT, RIGHT?? holy shit I swear to god if it’s All Might this lady needs to TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW. stop at McDonalds, order a black coffee for herself and only herself, and drive the rest of the way back home without so much as a bathroom break. there are certain prophecies which we don’t need to be tempting right now, okay people?? holy shit

(ETA: OR, here’s a thought, WHAT IF IT’S BEST JEANIST. hope springs eternal lmao. anyways though surely it’s not actually All Might. he can’t die yet, he’s got like 5 million secret things he needs to explain to Deku, and also Kacchan is unconscious and he can’t just SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL MIGHT’S DEATH like come on.)

oh look more heroes all lining up to be slaughtered by Machia

real talk, at this point their priority should just be evacuating any citizens in Machia’s path, and then getting the fuck out of his way. none of them stand a chance in hell at stopping him and they know it. the body count is already high enough as it is. regroup and live to fight another day, people

anyway, so Machia is apparently plowing through cities at 100km per hour. that... actually might not be fast enough. Gunga and Jakku were 80km apart, so at that rate it would take him nearly an hour to reach Tomura. that fight’s gonna be long done by the time they get there. huh

okay these guys are saying he’s going to reach them in about 8 minutes. ?? so are you telling me Tomura and Deku and the rest have been fighting for like 40 minutes already?? lmao Gran probably bled to death half an hour ago at this rate. Horikoshi please explain yourself. some of us spent our entire childhoods doodling comics instead of paying attention in math and science AND IT SHOWS

anyway so this is all very bad and this guy is really rubbing it in just how bad it is

I mean... yeah. obviously the villains are still to blame at the core of it all, but yeah. feels like you all could have planned a hell of a lot better for this. you knew there was the risk of Tomura waking up, and you knew there was also the risk of Gigantomachia waking up as well. and you pretty much had no contingency plan at all huh. society is really gonna be in shambles after this

lmao look at this shit. Machia is so big at this point that it looks like they’re having a picnic in the middle of some desert somewhere. at what point does it cease being a guy’s back and start being its own zip code

even has its own wifi. amazing

oh shit Compress apparently spotted someone and he’s asking Skeptic to “zoom and enhance” like it’s CS fucking I. that’s not how it works Compress you fucking boomer

anyway so OF COURSE,

was there a reason you needed to zoom in on them, other than to trigger Toga?? some people just want to watch the world burn

so Toga is now GEARIN’ UP!!

that honestly is so fucking handy. over at U.A. they have to carry their gear in briefcases like scrubs. does Compress actually have the best quirk in the world?? it flies under the radar so well that I always forget about it, but like WHAT CAN’T IT DO though, y’know??

WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN MY DUDE

“oh hey is that the U.A. kids? Skeptic could you please zoom in on them for absolutely no reason? OH MY GOD TOGA IS RUNNING OFF TO FIGHT THEM, OH MY GOD WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN, OH MY GOD”

now he’s all “DABI PLEASE DO SOMETHING” but Dabi is all “DABI DON’T CARE”

Dabi don’t care about NOTHING OR NO ONE!! Dabi don’t got time for this

lmao I literally forgot that Spinner was even there, shit

so are you gonna go with her then or not? because I got news for you dude, it doesn’t matter how heartwarming your speech is, nothing can stop this girl now that she’s gone full distracted boyfriend meme

AW BUT IT REALLY IS HEARTWARMING THOUGH

Spinner is the glue keeping this dysfunctional Addams family together honestly. too bad he couldn’t stop Compress from OPENING HIS BIG DUMB MOUTH ah well

lmao but he’s letting her go anyway though

Spinner for new LoV President. all in favor??

ANYWAYS LOL THIS IS BAD

“ACCELERATE EVACUATIONS” LOL WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OCHAKO HE’S MOVING AT 100KM AN HOUR AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING GODZILLA SIZED FKJLK

“PLEASE RUN OUTSIDE OF THE VILLAIN’S PERIPHERY” well thank fucking god the people have you guys to guide them what would they even do without you lklkhlkds

NO HORIKOSHI DON’T YOU DARE

IF YOU HURT MY GIRL FROPPY I SWEAR TO GOD!! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BRIGAND

OH THANK GOD

“sorry for SAVING YOUR LIFE” smh. anyway so how fucking badass is Ochako though?? can we just talk about this. THE GIRL POWER ARC STRIKES AGAIN hot damn

(ETA: and btw, seeing as Iida is nowhere to be found, I’d say odds are pretty good that they did in fact send him to go warn the Endeavorsquad of Gigantomachia’s imminent arrival. godspeed Iida! they need all the help they can get right now honestly.)

EXCUSE ME BUT ARE YOU TOGA

IS THIS TOGA. THIS IS DEFINITELY TOGA OMG

“I IMMEDIATELY TRUST YOU AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH” noooo Ochako nooooo

damn Toga you really drained some poor old lady’s blood just so you could pull this kind of sneaky shit. I forgot how much I loved you

ohhhh lol so it’s her “husband” that is Takeo-san lol

THE BETTER TO LURE YOU INTO A TRAP MY DEAR

lmao Ochako you rube

now you’ve done it Toga. there is nothing Ochako loves more than a good old fashioned Old People Romance. DID YOU KNOW SHE HAS SEEN THE NOTEBOOK LIKE FIFTY TIMES. AND NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HER AT THE END. meanwhile I just want to watch a movie where James Marsden actually gets the girl for once but we all know that will never happen

OH MY

ngl this page would be like a thousand times better if Ochako was still blushing omg. did I ship this before?? I honestly can’t remember but I sure as fuck ship it now goddammit

(ETA: pretty sure I shipped it back during the Forest arc too but I don’t have time to check right now lol. but Toga is just so horny on main for everyone, all the time, and so like, it’s hard not to ship it.)

so now Toga is running off all flirtatiously and Ochako is barreling after her lol

plot twist, Takeo-san is actually in there. and he has NO IDEA what’s going on. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE. WHY IS THERE A GIANT MOLE MAN BURROWING THROUGH THE CITY

Ochako why on earth would you follow Toga into this dark creepy house where she could spring at you from any angle out of nowhere. just go back outside and float up over it until you have a high enough vantage point to see all the exits and just wait for her to come out

Toga says she wanted to talk to Tsuyu-chan as well, but let’s be real, you and her don’t have the same kind of electrically charged kismesis energy that you’ve got going on with Ochako though

LMAO DEKU NOWHERE IS SAFE

getting dragged like a fucking wedding train and he’s not even there to defend himself, shit

blah blah blah just ask her your question already Toga

MY WORD

would someone please inform Toga that this manga is only rated PG-13

so now Ochako is all “seriously Toga wtf”

you see that’s what I wanted to know too, lol. I really like that the characters actually think about these things and ask these kind of questions. that’s exactly the contrast between the heroes and the villains right there. the villains care about each other, they’ll give each other heartwarming speeches to please come back alive, and yet they’re utterly indifferent to the thousands of people being killed as they demolish their way through city after city. meanwhile by contrast Ochako’s first thought upon being erotically waylaid by her sexy knife-wielding archnemesis is “but what about that poor old lady is she all right.” just completely opposite energies, almost to a hilarious degree. like maybe Ochako actually should worry about herself just a little bit more lol but heroes gonna hero

and so now what, Toga!! you’re gonna pout about it?? like she’s betrayed you somehow?

anyway so that’s the end of the chapter! and I’ll just come right out and say that I’m hoping that this fight ends up being something where Toga maybe starts to see things just a little bit more from Ochako’s point of view, and not the other way around, because otherwise I’ll be a little frustrated, ngl. the manga has done an excellent job of making the villains likeable and relatable and getting us to sympathize with them up till this point, but at some point it’s got to start refuting some of these arguments and making it clear that the villains do not actually have any kind of moral high ground here

and also! I really like Toga and would like her to have some kind of redemption arc! but as of now that’s looking to be really difficult if not impossible to pull off, because Toga hasn’t exactly shown a whole lot of remorse for anything she’s done so far, you know? because she doesn’t see it as bad in any way; to her it’s just her way of expressing love, and being true to who she is. but being true to yourself really should NOT involve, you know, MURDER, and so yeah. it’s a problem lmao

but who knows! maybe this battle with Ochako will be the start of something which eventually leads to some sort of change within her! I have absolutely no idea how that could play out tbh, but even so I can hope! either that or she will double down on the whole “villains are victims and heroes are apathetic cruel hypocrites” ideology and decide she wants to kill Ochako and Izuku for breaking her heart, in which case I will be very sad, but I guess if that’s the way Horikoshi’s gonna play it it is what it is!

and lastly, so is this going to be like the final battle between them or something?? surely not, right? like this is just round 2 of 3. well at any rate, it’s sure going to be interesting

#bnha 288 #himiko toga #uraraka ochako #asui tsuyu #mr. compress #league of villains #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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mk-tozier · 4 years

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BRAT| RICHIE TOZIER X READER

@softbumble asked: I was wanting a smut with Richie x quiet reader where the reader is acting like a brat and Richie decides to teach them some manners.

17-18 years old or whatever age you want idc lmao

I’m sorry if this is bad or not what you wanted, I’m also gonna be kinda slow on requests, I’m trying the best as i can. Also sorry if its short or kinda rushed I’ve been kinda busy!

It’s kinda bad and very repetitive. Thats on me tho cuz its rushed. Again sorry if this is not what you had in mind. I was also writing this with the IQ of 2 because my brain was not working after taking a 1 hour and a half science test and then a math test right after so please excuse the absolute chaos this writing is.

warnings: smut, language, slight choking, degrading, teasing, fingering, overstimulation, idk man’, unedited as hell

I sat in Bill’s living room, next to Richie, sitting on the couch. An hour before me and Richie were at home, fingers tangled in each others hair, He trailed kisses down my neck, leaving hickeys and love bites on my neck as he played with the waistband of my underwear, teasing me and rubbing my clit through it. Then we got a call from Bill asking to hangout and Richie being Richie said we’ll go and left me unsatisfied. So now i was stuck on the couch, bored and horny. “why do you look so upset y/n, did something happen?” Ben asks. “No I’m just tired, thats all.” i said sweetly, but shooting Richie a glare. He smirked, before looking back at the tv which was playing some movie that i had no interest in. Bill and Stan were setting things up, getting snacks from the kitchen, board games from the closet, getting things together. I wasn’t exactly sure what we were doing but we were waiting for them to finish up.

Stan came into the living room, placing a bowl of chips onto the table. “Heyy stanny boyyyyyyyyyyy” I giggled, i have no idea why but i made myself laugh. “hey Y/n” He smiled. “you’re my twin” i say. “how so?” he asks, seeming genuinely interested in what i had to say. “We’re both quiet, sassy, funny” i stop to send Stan a wink at the word ‘funny’ “and cool people” I smile brightly. “i agree” he shakes his head, smiling. I look over to see a annoyed Richie. Hes very easy to make jealous, thats whats fun about him. Stan walked out of the room to continue helping Bill. “flirting with another guy” Richie muttered to himself, in a growl. I put my hand on Richies thigh. He looked over at me. “what’re you doing?” he growls again. “nothing” i shrug. I lay my head on his shoulder.

time skip

i layed with Richie comfortablely, My hand still on his thigh. The boys finished setting everything up, putting on ‘The Goonies’. I moved my hand higher up Richies thigh, closer to his manhood. I looked up at him, Richies jaw clenched. “Richieeee” i whined into his ear. “what?” he replies. “i need youuuu.” i whine again, kissing his neck. “wait until we get home” he mutters. “but i need you now” i brush my hand against his clothed dick, feeling it harden a bit. “baby pleaseee” “I said wait until we get home” Richie growls into my ear. I huff but listen to him, keeping my hand on his thigh. He moves my hand off his thigh and onto the couch. I huff again, annoyed, hes being no fun. I wait a few minutes before putting my hand back on his thigh. “princess, stop it” he whispers into my ear. I ignore him, moving my hand closer to his manhood. “if you dont stop I’ll have to punish you” he growls. I stop moving my hand, leaving it directly on his hard-on. Richie keeps his eyes on the tv, jaw clenched and anger in his eyes. Just what i wanted. I began to palm Richie through his joggers, causing his breath to hitch. He grabbed my wrist, moving it away from my pants. “I just remembered i told my parents that I’d have Y/n over for dinner, they love her so they insist in inviting her to dinners. they’ll kill me if I’m late so we gotta go” Richie says to the losers, they nod understanding. He pulls me through the living room and out the door, shutting it behind him. “what the fuck was that?!?” Richie growls. He gets on his bike, i get on the back, wrapping my arms around him. “answer me” “its your fault, you said we could go to Bill’s, maybe if you werent such a tease then i wouldnt of done what i did” I snap back. “Acting like a brat now, are we?” he says, pedalling faster

When we arrived to the house Richie threw his bike to the ground on his front lawn, he dragged me inside, the door unlocked. Richie pushed me against the wall, attacking my neck. “Made me lie to the losers because you were so needy” He mumbled against my neck. “Needy slut can’t even wait until we get home” Richie says before beginning to suck and lick at my soft spot. I moan from the unexpected contact. “you like that? hmm?” i nod my head. Richie trails down my neck, kissing my cleavage, his hands roam under my shirt. “Rich, not here” i gasp. “Its my house, we can fuck wheverever the hell i want” He grumbled. Richie picks me up, walking up the stairs, continuing to attack my neck with hickies. He pushes open his bedroom door, kicking it closed when we enter the room, throwing me on the bed. Richie quickly takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere, revealing his pale skin and skinny frame. He walks over to the bed, getting on top of me, arms on both sides of my body. Richie takes off my shirt, throwing it behind him. He kisses around my bra and down my stomach, kissing the skin right before my shorts/skirt, leaving hickies along the way, getting closer to where i needed him the most. “Rich, please” I whine. “please what? Use your words” “i need you, please” i whine again. “bad girls dont get what they want, beg for it.” He growls into my ear, the raspiness of his voice and the lust in his eyes made me want him more, a wetness pooling in my underwear. Richie unclasped my bra, attacking my breasts, licking and sucking at one nipple as he fondled with the other breast. “please Richie, i need you inside me so bad, your fingers, your tongue, anything, i just need you. so, so, so bad Rich” I beg. “such a needy slut, you’ll use anything to get off, won’t you? so desperate for my cock, huh” Richie kisses down my stomach, removing my shorts/skirt. “you’re so wet for me. you’re my little whore, just begging for my cock.I barely touched you and you’re all riled up?” Richie smirks.

He puts his thumb on my clit, rubbing me through my underwear, i moan, satisfaction running through me. Richie rubbed my clit slowly, applying pressure. “please Rich, please i need you inside of me.” I whine. “Such a impatient needy slut, can’t wait to feel my fingers inside of you, falling apart just from a little touch” He pulls down my underwear slightly, blowing air onto my clit. “such a little whore, all soaked” Richie pushes one finger into me, thrusting slowly, i moan loudly, before biting my lip. “faster Rich please” i let out quickly. He speeds up his pace, lifting himself to my lips. Richie connects his lips with mine, kissing me softly, sometimes he can’t help himself and he’ll kiss me softly or passionately, he’ll never admit it but he has a soft spot. Richie curls his finger, hitting a different angle, causing me to moan into the kiss. “you like that? hmm?“ I nod my head moaning, my hips buck, the familiar pit in my stomach growing, i clenched around his finger. Richie enters another finger, thrusting quickly. My hips buck again, i moan loudly, letting my hands go to his hair, tugging. “fuck, rich im gonna cum” i whine, clenching around his fingers. I feel my release pulsing through me. Richie pulls his fingers out, i whine, annoyed. “riiich” “Bad girls dont get to cum” He says before licking his fingers. “you always taste so good princess” Richie connects my lips with his once again, shoving his tongue in my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip. He pulls away, lowering himself. Richie licks a stripe up my pussy unexpectedly. “Rich!” i squeal. He swirls his tongue around my clit and down to my slit. Richie licks my clit slowly, holding my thighs. I bite my lip, holding back the sounds. He begins speeding up the pace, drawing little circles on my thighs with his fingers.

Richie starts licking slower before sucking on my clit, i cover my mouth, whining. Richie sits up, grabbing my hand. “let me hear you, dont cover your mouth. i want everyone to hear what a slut you are, let them know that you’re mine” He says before lowering himself, beginning to suck on my clit again. “Rich! Fuck!” i gasp, causing him to suck on my clit faster, i could feel the pit in my stomach growing already. My hips bucked into his mouth, i tugged on his hair. “Richieee baby im close” i groaned. He sucked faster, licking at my clit, swirling and moving his tongue. My hips bucked again as i let out an aspirated moan. “I’m gonna cum, fuck” i moaned, Richie pulled away quickly. “Riiiich.” I whine. “I told you, bad girls dont get to cum” he leans over me, arms on both sides of me again. “Maybe next time you’ll learn your lesson, flirting with Stan and acting like a brat? You had it coming” Richie whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Needy slut” He mumbles. He connects our lips once again, my hands travel to his hair, playing with it. Richie grinds against my heat, groaning into the kiss,his hard on rubbing me through his joggers. “Rich i need you, please. I know I’m a bad girl, please i learned my lesson, I’ll behave i promise”

“Yeah? You want this cock? Huh?” “Yes. Please richie.” “Good girl, begging for me so well. You’re gonna behave?” “Yes i will. i promise rich. I’ll be patient and i wont flirt with anyone, I’m yours and only yours” Richie groans. He gets off the bed, taking offf his joggers, his dick clearly showing through his boxers, is it up, helping him remove them. “Eager brat” Richie chuckles, he crawls onto the bed, pushing me onto my back. He looks up at me, his tip nearing my entrance. I nod, letting him know to go ahead. Richie slowly enters me, groaning, his precum leaking into my entrance. “So wet and warm for me” he groans. “Rich” i plead. Richie starts to thrust into me slowly, i moan, finally getting the pleasure i wanted. “Can Stanley fuck you this good? Huh?” Richie picks up the pace. I shake my head, whining. “Does his dick fill you up like this?” “N-no only you do.” I gasp. “Who’s are you?” He thrusts faster, groaning. “I’m yours Rich, only yours.” Richie groans again, he leans over, sucking on my neck, leaving dark purple bruises. My back arches and i moan loudly. He hovers over me again. “You’re mine” his words made the pit in my stomach grow, Richie puts his hand around my neck, making me moan. “You like that? You like when i choke you like the little toy you are.” He growls. I whimper, nodding my head. “You like using my hand as a necklace, hm? You like when i use you as my little sex toy?” Richie groans, i moan, his words sending me over the edge, my hips start bucking as i clench around him. “Are you gonna cum, princess?” I nod my head “yes richie. I’m gonna cum, please let me cum” I whimper again. “Go ahead doll, cum for me, cum all over my cock. I wanna see you” He whispers into my ear, completely sending me over the edge, making me cum harshly, my vision blurred from all the pleasure hitting me. “AH! RICH!” Richie chuckles, kissing my cheek. His fast pace continues, the grip on my neck loosening a bit. “Rich.” I whimper. “You wanted my dick, you’re getting it. You’re gonna take it until i cum, is that alright?” I nod, moaning from overstimulation. “You like that baby? You like how I’m using you as my little cocksleeve?” He groans into my ear. I nod, whining. Richies thrusts start to falter, getting sloppier. I can feel my high coming back, the pit in my stomach starting again. My hips buck again, clenching around Rich. He groans, making me clench around his dick more. “B-Baby you close again?” He says, shutting his eyes. “Mhm” “cum again for me. I’m here, its okay.” He thrusts rougher into me, his head falling back in pleasure. I whine, his pleasure sending me over the edge, cumming. Richie groans, his dick twitching inside of me. “I’m close. Shit. You fuck so good princess, taking my dick so well.” “You’re so good rich, filling my up with your big dick.” I whine, he groans, cumming in me, stopping his thrusts.

Richie pants, i run my fingers through his hair. “You did so well doll” He flashes me his signature goofy grin. Richie looked down. “That was hot.” He chuckles, i smile admiring his features. “I love you Rich.” I whisper, barely audible. Richies head snaps up, his cheeks red. “Y-you what? Did i hear that r-right. Y-you love me?” His face softens, he smiles slightly. “I love you too Doll.” Richie plants a small sweet kiss on my lips, he pulls out. “You need a bath princess?” He asks. “That’d be nice.” I say softly. “C’mon I’ll go set up the bath”

#richie tozier #richie tozier smut #beep beep richie #smut #richie tozier x reader #that one moment when you have no tags fluff richie Tozier fluff

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marlborodean · 3 years

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annotation for my "destiel but it's just one direction playlist," mainly for my sister who hasn't seen supernatural but you guys can read it too if you want :^)

DIANA // 4x01, "Lazarus Rising"

this episode introduces Cas :) Castiel speaks Enochian but when he was trying to speak to Dean he was instead causing radio static and shattering windows :) he gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition :) he knew all of Dean’s soul just from touching him :) he left his handprint burned into Dean’s skin :)

Notable Lyrics:

how could someone not miss you at all?

i never would mistreat you, no, i’m not a criminal. i speak a different language but I still hear your call

let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes. you’ve been lonely, you don’t even know me, but I can feel you crying. let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. i don’t think you even realize, baby, you’d be saving mine

it’s only been four months but you’ve fallen down so far

i wanna reach out for you, i wanna break these walls

we all need something. if i could hold you, swear i’d never put you down

KISS YOU // 4x07, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester"

the only reason i have for this is the pure tension between Dean and Cas in this ep, which includes Dean staring at Cas's mouth and licking his lips :)

Notable Lyrics:

i just wanna take you anywhere that you like, we could go out any day, any night. i’ll take you there

tell me how to turn your love on. you can get anything that you want

if you want me to, let’s make a move

HEY ANGEL // 4x10, "Heaven and Hell"

in this ep, there is a female angel who is. i mean she’s just there to mirror what Cas will become. she is a fallen angel who rebelled because she fell in love with humanity :) and Cas talks to her, tells her that “for the time, i feel…” later in the show there’s another angel that says Cas’s “true weakness is involved. he’s in love! with humanity" :) also in this ep, the female angel and Dean have sex. clearly if Cas was a woman they would’ve been in a relationship long ago :)

Notable Lyrics:

hey angel, do you look at us and laugh when we hold onto the past? hey angel, tell me, do you ever try to come to the other side?

i wish i could be more like you. do you wish you could be more like me?

i see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head

BETTER THAN WORDS // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"

in this ep, Dean is kept in a beautiful white room (which they call the green room #theatrekidvibes), and everyone understands the tension between Dean and Cas to be needlessly horny :) Cas defies heaven's orders to help Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

more than a feeling, crazy in love. every time we touch, i’m all shook up. best i ever had, hips don’t lie, you make me wanna—

how deep is your love? god only knows

i don’t know how else to sum it up, there’s no way i can explain your love

everyone tries to see what it feels like, but they’ll never be right

YOU & I // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"

Castiel literally invented free will. the prophet Chuck couldn’t predict Castiel’s actions :) he said “you guys aren’t in this story!” and Cas replied “we’re making it up as we go” :)

Notable Lyrics:

we can make it ’til the end, nothing can come between you and i. not even the gods above can separate the two of us, nothing can come between you and i. we could make it if we try

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"

in this ep, Castiel thinks he is going to die the next day so Dean takes him out for a fun night :) and Dean says it’s the first time he’s laughed that hard in a long time :)

Notable Lyrics:

you know i’ve always got your back, so let me be the one you come running to. just call my name, i’ll be coming through. on the other side of the world, it don’t matter, i’ll be there in two

there’s something about your laugh that makes me want to have to. there’s nothing funny so we laugh at nothing.

every minute’s like the last so let’s just take it real slow. forget about the clock that’s ticking

you have always been the only one i wanted

i wanted you to know without you i can’t face it

WHY DON'T WE GO THERE // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"

same ep, but this is placed here because Dean said to Cas, “there are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.” you connect those dots :)

Notable Lyrics:

think about all the places we could go if you five in tonight. just let me set you free

we’ve got all night, and we’re going nowhere. why don’t you stay? why don’t we go there? let’s take a ride out in the cold air, i know the way, why don’t you go there with me?

ONCE IN A LIFETIME // 5x04, "The End"

in this ep, an angel zaps Dean to five years into the future where he meets his future self and future Cas. there was HEAVY subtext that they were together :) at the end of the ep, after he sees his future self die and ultimately destroy the entire world, he is zapped back to present time (where it is safe) and Castiel is there waiting for him at the side of the road in the middle of the night :)

Notable Lyrics:

once in a lifetime, you were mine

when i close my eyes, all the stars align and you are by my side. once in a lifetime, it’s just right. we are always safe, not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all away

DRAG ME DOWN // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

this fits anywhere between 4x01 and this ep, which is when. when Dean finds out that Cas had betrayed him and was working alongside the king of hell behind his back :) so as long as this is placed before That Scene, it's fine :)

Notable Lyrics:

i’ve got a fire for a heart, i’m not scared of the dark, you’ve never seen it look so easy. i’ve got a river for a soul, and baby, you’re a boat. baby you’re my only reason

if i didn’t have you, there would be nothing left. the shell of a man that could never be his best. if i didn’t have you, i’d never see the sun

you taught me how to be someone

all my life you stood by me, when no one else was ever behind me. with your love, nobody can drag me down

WOLVES // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

the war with angels is oncoming, so Cas is trying (trying) to do lots of damage control with that, which means killing angels and demons alike that are after the Winchesters. there's a great scene here :) idk it fits here somehow my brain is too big to be confined by the English language

Notable Lyrics:

in the middle of the night when the wolves come out, they head straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark. one by one, i take them down

i keep on holding tight now, ‘cause your body’s telling me don’t let go

just getting my demons out, wouldn’t ever doubt. your beauty could start a war as you walk in the dining room

i wish it wasn’t true, but the whole world’s trying to get a piece of you, and my heart keeps fighting in this battle of fools

INFINITY // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

since Cas is trying to prevent the war, much like Aziraphale, he is deemed a failed and fallen angel! :) but then Dean finds out Cas has been working with the king of hell behind his back! :) Cas says "It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" and Dean replies "I was there. Where were you?" :)

Notable Lyrics:

down to earth, keep on falling when i know it hurts

now i’m one step closer to being two steps from you, when everybody wants you

i was there for you. all i ever wanted was the truth. how many nights have you wished someone would stay?

FOOL'S GOLD // 7x02, "Hello, Cruel World"

i see this as Cas POV as he decides to sacrifice himself and let the Leviathans destroy him, before he leaves Dean ahahaha! i see it in this point in time because Cas loves Dean but assumes Dean doesn't feel the same, but! as we see, Dean keeps Cas's coat (because he loves him)

Notable Lyrics:

i know in my heart, you’re not a constant star. i let you use me from the day that we first met, but I’m not done yet, falling for you. i knew that you turned it on for everyone you’ve met, but i don’t regret falling for you

i know your love’s not real, but that’s not the way it feels. that’s not the way you feel

HALF A HEART // 7x02-7x21

literally every time Cas dies, Dean becomes inconsolable and loses all will to live and succumbs to raging alcoholism :) in season 7, when Cas dies, Dean keeps his jacket. for months. :) also applies to 13x01-13x05

Notable Lyrics:

so your friends [have] been telling me, you’ve been sleeping with my sweater, and that you can’t stop missing me. bet my friends [have] been telling you, i’m not doing much better

i’m missing half of me, and being here without you is like i’m waking up to only half a blue sky. kind of there, but not quite. i’m walking 'round with just one shoe. i’m half a heart without you. i’m half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest. i miss everything we do. i’m half a heart without you

forget all we said that night, it doesn’t even matter

though i try to get you out of my head, the truth is i got lost without you

GIRL ALMIGHTY // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"

very closely tied to the imagery of the episode rather than the story. the bright light as Cas overpowers his brainwashing, Dean kneeling in front of Cas. not to self-promo but watch my Religion AMV to see what i mean!! it's visceral stuff :)

Notable Lyrics:

her light is as loud as many ambulances as it takes to save a savior

am i the only believer? there’s something happening here. i hope you feel what i’m feeling too

i get down on my knees for you

STRONG // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"

Castiel has been brainwashed into betraying Dean again, to the point where he was forced to participate in hundreds of simulations where he has to kill Dean :) so when the time comes where he’s told to kill Dean, he suddenly can’t do it :) know why? because Dean tells him “Cas, it’s me. We need you. I need you.” :)

Notable Lyrics:

my hands, your hands, tied up like two ships. my heart, your heart, sit tight like bookends. pages between us written with no end. so many words we’re not saying. don’t wanna wait til it’s gone

i’m sorry if i say ‘i need you’

when i’m not with you, i’m weaker. is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?

WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO // 9x03, "I'm No Angel"

Cas loses his grace so now he is human. for some reason i don’t remember, Dean tells him he can’t stay at his place anymore. now Cas is homeless! :) and so Dean regrets it and goes to look for him :) also side note but there is some fan headcanons or theories that Cas had to resort to sex work to make money :/

Notable Lyrics:

counted all my mistakes and there’s only one standing out from the list of the things i’ve done. all the rest of my crimes don’t come close to the look on your face when i let you go.

the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue is at the top of the list of the things i want

love was something you’ve never heard enough

now i’m searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name, trying to find you, but i just don’t know. where do broken hearts go?

are you sleeping by yourself? or are you giving it to someone else?

tell me where you go when you feel afraid. tell me, will you ever love me again?

I WANT TO WRITE YOU A SONG // 11x03, "The Bad Seed"

no thoughts only the scene of Dean wrapping a blanket around Cas :)

Notable Lyrics:

i want to write you a song, one that’s beautiful as you are sweet, with just a hint of pain for the feeling that i get when you are gone

i want to lend you my coat, one that’s as soft as your cheek, so when the world is cold, you’ll have a hiding place you can go

everything i need i get from you, giving back is all i wanna do

MOMENTS // 11x23, "Alpha and Omega"

this song is like...every time Dean or Cas is about to sacrifice himself/DIE and they get emotional about it. this is an Exemplary episode that fits well with this song because a) they had time to make this plan, which means they would have time to say goodbyes and be ~intimate~ abt it, and b) the hug towards the end when Cas casually says "I could go with you," offering to DIE alongside Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

shut the door, turn the light off. i wanna be with you, i wanna feel your love. i wanna lay beside you. i cannot hide this, even though i try.

trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder. and the tears stream down my face

if we could only have this life for one more day. if we could only turn back time

i’ll be your life, your voice, your reason to be. my love/my heart is breathing for this moment in time. i’ll find the words to say before you leave me today.

don’t wanna be without you

there’s a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed as i feel myself fall, make a joke of it all

NO CONTROL // 12x23, "All Along the Watchtower"

this could honestly go anywhere, but i’m placing it in here in the chronology because it’s Cas charging blindly and headfirst into battle with literal Lucifer to protect Dean :) good moment contextually because before Cas ran away to help this woman give birth, he had a pretty cozy domestic life with Dean :) it's important to note that this does get him killed, which does lead to another grieving wife phase for Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

beside you i’m a loaded gun. i can’t contain this anymore. i’m all yours, i’ve got no control. powerless, and i don’t care it’s obvious. i just can’t get enough of you. the pedal’s down, my eyes are closed

i don’t want to wash away the night before, and the heat where you laid, i could stay right here and burn in it all day

THROUGH THE DARK // 14x14, "Ouroboros"

this is not about the gay gorgon, folks, it's about the Ma'lak Box. Dean is crushed by the responsibility of having to lock himself in a LITERAL box to prevent Michael (the archangel inside his mind) from taking over

Notable Lyrics:

you tell me that you’re hurt and you’re in pain, and i can see your head is held in shame, but i just wanna see you smile again

i’ll be here for you. i will carry you over fire and water for your love. i will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough

i wish that i could take you to the stars. i’d never let you fall and break your heart

you tell me that you hurt, it’s all in vain, but i can see your heart can love again, and i remember you laughing so let’s just laugh again

CHANGE MY MIND // 15x03, "The Rupture"

Dean is being a pissy lil bitch because their child died and Castiel can’t deal with it so he leaves :) there’s a lot of stress in their relationship because they both have horrible communication issues. it boils down to Dean thinking like “i want people to just want to stay instead of leaving. i shouldn’t have to ask for that.” and Cas thinking like “i want people to tell me they want me around. i need that verbalized reassurance.” this is canon :)

Notable Lyrics:

the end of the night, we should say goodbye, but we carry on while everyone’s gone

never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more? as i’m walking towards the door, i’m not sure

if you say you want me to say, i’ll change my mind. ‘cause i don’t wanna know i’m walking away if you’ll be mine. i won’t go

IF I COULD FLY // 15x09, "The Trap"

Dean and Cas have to go to Purgatory to retrieve an Ingredient~ they get separated and the portal is about to close and Dean gets desperate so he gets on his knees and prays to Cas :) closure of 15x03 breakup scene, because Dean says “I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.” :) Dean cries more than one tear, one of his most vulnerable moments in the show (rivaled only by the scene where he tells his mom he hates her). this scene is viewed by many, including jackles, as Dean's love confession especially because he evidently wanted to say something more to Cas's face but Cas cut him off :)

Notable Lyrics:

if i could fly, i’d be coming right back home to you. i think i might give up everything, just ask me to

i hope that you listen, cause i let my guard down. right now i’m completely defenseless

for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart. i’m missing half of me when we’re apart. now you know me

WALKING IN THE WIND // 15x18, "Despair" and 15x19, "Inherit the Earth"

“Despair” is the episode where Castiel confesses his love too Dean. Dean says “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” and Cas replies “Because it is.” :) reminiscent of the way their son Jack (who is a mirror to Cas) tells Sam and Dean “I'll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows, and in the sand, in the rocks, and the sea.” :)

Notable Lyrics:

if you’re lost, just look for me. you’ll find me in the region of the summer stars

the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won

goodbyes are bittersweet, but it’s not the end. i’ll see your face again and you will find me

yesterday i went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend, but as we raised our glasses to make a toast I realized you were missing.

SOMETHING GREAT // 15x18, "Despair"-15x20, "Carry On"

Cas pov for 18 and Dean pov for 20 :) Cas saying "the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." :) and then Dean missing and wanting Cas back after he died, saying to God, "Cas. You gotta bring him back," yet again falling back into bad alcoholism and depression and suicidal ideation :)

Notable Lyrics:

i want you here with me like how i pictured it, so i don’t have to keep imagining

the script was written…i want to rip it all to shreds and start again. one day i’ll come into your world and get it right

you’re all i want, so much it’s hurting

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY // Post-Canon mwah!

This is what it would have been like for Dean in the version of Supernatural that totally definitely does exist, in which Jack brought Cas back to life and Dean and Cas were reunited and Dean tells Cas he loves him too and then they live a domestic and safe life and Dean is still shocked every morning that he wakes up next to the love of his life :)

Notable Lyrics:

i can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me

like all those days and weeks and months i tried to steal a kiss, and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where i pictured this

somehow you kicked all my walls in, so say you’ll always keep me

should i put coffee and granola on a tray in bed, and wake you up with all the words that i still haven’t said? and tender touches just to show yo how i feel, or should i act so cool like it was no big deal?

#i think my sister is probably asleep right now so i'll update yall on her response later #i'm insane i'm so sorry #ej.pdf #spn #for lisa!

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notebooks-and-tea · 4 years

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Parse & Folklore: A Ted Talk

Alright everyone, settle down and come have emotions with me about how many of the lyrics from Folklore could apply to Parse. This is a long one so buckle in kiddos. I’m not usually a omgcp blog and I haven’t actually used tumblr in ages but I needed to share my emotions. Someone please yell at me if they have any more thoughts - I’m always here for Parse &/ Taylor rants!

1. The 1 - let’s be real you could read the entirety of this song as Kent, hopefully having now finally managed to move on from Jack, wistfully thinking back on how nice it would’ve have been if he had indeed been ‘the one’.

Lyrics that kind of hurt:

We were something, don’t you think so? And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone Rosé flowing with your chosen family And it would've been sweet If it could've been me In my defense, I have none For digging up the grave another time 2. Cardigan - So the concept of this song doesn’t directly relate to Kent but a few of the lines stick out to me a lot and I guess just generally this idea of ‘when you are young they assume you know nothing’ in the context of what Jack and Kent would have been going through when they were in Juniors.

Lyrics that stand out to my angsty heart:

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time <--literally just Kent not being able to let go of Jack despite how long it’s been since the draft

3. My Tears Ricochet - Definitely don’t think about the idea of Kent loving Jack and being cut out and ignored following his overdose while listening to this song. ‘I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace’ when thinking about Kent visiting Jack at Samwell and being rejected, then lashing out is particularly painful okay. You could totally interpret a lot of this song as Kent lashing out at Jack and reminding him that he can cut him out and claim he’s moved on but he’ll always be a part of him and it just makes me sad to think about how that might not actually be true...

Lyrics that make me sad:

Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you I swear I loved you Till my dying day I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around saving face <--Jack getting to look like Kent attacked him for no reason as if he doesn’t also owe apologies 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones <-- also kind of reminds me of Kent, in his anger when he turns up at Samwell, lashing out and saying that it’s people like him who still care about Jack no matter what

4. Mirrorball - okay literally just one line really sticks out to me and makes me sad so definitely don’t think about Kent having to hide who he is around the Aces, especially when Jack and Bitty kiss on the ice and he’s in the bar and someone whose name I’ve forgotten is being a homophobic dick, while Taylor sings “I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in”

5. AUGUST - like the entire song basically? But like specifically these two boys have a month in the summer between winning the memorial cup and the draft and maybe Kent thinks it’s perfect and he’s so hopeful and he knows it has to end because they’re going to be on separate teams but maybe for him, just wanting them to be together is enough, at least for now. But everything goes wrong and Jack slips away and then they lose contact because Jack cuts him out and all Kent knows is that he should have known because he was never really his no matter how much he hoped that would be true. So now he just has those memories of the two of them together that one summer and maybe that kind of makes me want to cry?

Lyrics and sadnessss:

I never needed anything more Whispers Of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before" <-- just really hammering in that reminder that they were just kids before the draft But I can see us Lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time 'Cause it was never mine And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August sipped away Like a bottle of wine 'Cause you were never mine Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call So much for summer love, and saying "Us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose 6. This is Me Trying - Yikes, isn’t the title just a hypothetical Parse anthem though? Once again, not really exactly in the spirit of the actual song but I feel like so many of the lyrics apply? I mean, Kent turning up at Samwell vibes and once again he lashes out because he feels hurt but he’s trying. He doesn’t even know if Jack wants to see him but he’s hopeful so he turns up and he’s trying to be helpful and to reconnect but he’s still hurting even if Jack doesn’t seem to care? Also definitely don’t think about Kent in his first year in the NHL when he’s supposed to be living his dream and enjoying life, celebrating victories with his new team but all he can think about is Jack and how he may have hurt him and that he’s living the life he’s missing out on.

Lyrics I have emotions about:

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway <-- Kent turning up at Samwell not really knowing if Jack would want to see him but being so hopeful that he would just hurtssss I just wanted you to know That this is me trying And at least I’m trying

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you

7. Illicit Affairs - Ooooh boy, we’re back to entire songs that remind me of Kent and Jack and pre-draft sadness. So cannon Jack might claim that they never really dated and doesn’t that hurt even more if you consider Kent thinking they’re basically dating in secret only for Jack to overdose, then cut him off completely and deny that what they had ever involved any real emotions on his part? So here’s where illicit affairs makes me want to sob. Definitely don’t think about them having a secret ‘relationship’ that starts off because they’re just such close friends, the best friend either one of them has ever had, but they’re also both closeted professional hockey players and horny teenagers let’s be honest, and what starts off as raw moments of honesty and closeness between them get’s slowly corrupted because they have to hide it all, and they have the draft to think about, and Jack has his anxiety etc. And maybe Jack doesn’t call him kid or baby but he does call him Kenny like nobody else does and Kent would ruin himself if it meant he could have Jack back, would give him anything, would get him a spot on the Aces so they can finally play together like they were supposed to...This song makes me sad.

Lyrics that hurt especially (might as well post the entire song here tbh):

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings And longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies and it dies and it dies ...a million little times / They show their truth one single time But they lie and they lie and they lie ...a million little times

So you leave no trace behind Like you don't even exist Take the words for what they are A dwindling, mercurial high A drug that only worked The first few hundred times

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself ...a million little times

8. Invisible Strings - Is this song too happy for my feelings about Kent most of the time? Probably, but basically any ship that ends in Kent/Happiness could apply to this song and that’s the reason it stays on this list. So basically think about Kent being happy and moving on with someone who’s so so good for him and helps him heal and then reconsider this song with that in mine.

Lyrics to think about:

Time, Mystical time Cutting me open, then healing me fine

A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents <- the idea of Kent moving on and no longer having confrontations with Jack whenever they meet but instead being happy for him too makes me so happy

9. Betty - Okay once again the actual idea of this song, definitely doesn’t directly apply but hear me out. Kent turning up at Samwell wanting to be heard out by Jack. Maybe it doesn’t happen directly after the event so he’s not ‘only 17′ but he effectively is and he doesn’t know anything really. He didn’t at the time the overdose happened and he never got the chance to deal with it properly because Jack cut him out so he still doesn’t really know anything. All he knows is that he misses Jack and he wants to play with him again and wants them to get back to where they used to be, to where they’re suppose to be. And if he insulting Jack’s team isn’t James (Taylor’s POV) singing about Betty’s ‘stupid friends’ then idk what else to say. Why does this song scream Kent so much to me despite being about a random 17 year old boy who cheated on his girlfriend?

Lyrics I want to scream about:

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom But I think it's 'cause of me <--so obvs not homeroom but please don’t think about Kent thinking that Jack overdosed and decided not to go to the NHL after her recovered because of him

But if I just showed up at your party Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself Or lead me to the garden? I'm only seventeen I don't know anything but I know I miss you <--maybe he’s not 17 but he’s basically still just a kid whenever Jack’s involved

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep And I planned it out for weeks now but, it's finally sinking in Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again The only thing I wanna do Is make it up to you So, I showed up at your party Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me Will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings?

I definitely have more to say on this but this is already so long so that’s it for now, might continue on some other time?

#kent parson #omgcheckplease #parsepositive #angst #taylor swift #folklore #jack zimmermann #I have too many emotions about fictional characters #literally just thinking about August and Illicit Affairs in relation to Kent makes me want to cry

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 5 years

Text

You Don’t Know Me

Not smut just some very soft oblivious Luke

You knew something was wrong. Luke didn't always text you back right away, but in the entire time you'd know him he'd never left you on read. You knew sometimes he was too busy to check his messages for hours, especially if he was on the road. You expected that, and never worried or got irritated if he didn't text you back, but that was before the disaster at Calum's party.

The weekend had been rough. Saturday night there had been a crazy party at Calum's house and everyone was getting wasted. You'd seen Luke show up with his girlfriend per fucking usual. You hated that it bothered you, after all they'd been together six months, Leila considered you a friend. You had tried to like her but the more you saw them together, the more it got under your skin. They argued constantly these past couple months, and lately you never saw Luke without her around. The party was no different, you'd barely gotten to talk to Luke for two minutes before she was dragging him away to hang out with her friends.

When they'd started arguing yet again something in you had snapped. You'd started downing tequila shots like you were trying to drown your emotions in liquor. The alcohol, instead of extinguishing the flames, just made them burn brighter. Sure enough you'd ended up in the upstairs bathroom tearfully confessing your deepest secrets to Calum when you weren't heaving your guts up.

Calum was sympathetic, rubbing your back and trying to calm you down. You claimed to love all the guys as if they were your brothers, and with Calum that was particularly true. He'd been the first to call you on your feelings months ago. Calum saw the connection you had with Luke and it was obvious it was more than just friends, but you tried to play it off. Luke only liked a certain type, tall and lean, and much hotter than you could ever hope to be.

Still, you were the one he came to when he and his girlfriend had problems. It was you he confessed his fears to late at night when he was homesick from being on the road. You were the one he sought advice from, and the person he trusted most. He was like a brother to you, or at least you pretended that was the case, until the Patron came right back up along with your feelings.

Luke came to check on you and Calum ran him off. You'd heard shouting between the two of them before they were separated. Calum came back to you followed by your friend Eva and the two of them got you home.

You crawled to your couch, not able to make it up the stairs to your bedroom, plus the bathroom was nearby. They got you set up with a towel, some water and Advil before Eva took Calum up to your room. Their moans were the last thing you heard before you passed out.

When you woke up you were in your bed in last night's clothes but on fresh sheets. Your phone was plugged in and charging next to a bottle of coconut water. Your throat felt like sandpaper so your chugged the bottle almost choking halfway through when Luke walked into your bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" You sputter trying to remember the previous night.

"Came to check on you." He sat down next to you on the bed sliding over so you're leaning against his chest. "You were wild last night, what got into you?"

"Tequila mostly," you groan, squeezing your eyes shut at the memory.

"I noticed." Luke sounded annoyed but when you looked at him, he smiled down at you. "You seemed upset about something, were you mad at me?"

Fear shot chills through your entire body as you remember why you'd started drinking. You had been angry with him, but it wasn't his fault. You were angry because you were jealous, horny and frustrated from denying your feelings for him. You were pissed at yourself for not being able to say anything, because you knew he didn't feel the same way. You were like a sister to him and you didn't want to destroy what you had.

"I can't remember anything except getting sick, I barely remember getting home," you lie, closing your eyes to avoid looking at him.

"Can you get me another water please?"

You could feel the tension in his body ease for a second as he gave you a little squeeze, "of course, do you want some food or anything else?"

Your stomach twisted at the thought and you shook your head, and you saw the tight expression return to his face. He was clearly annoyed by the whole situation, but dutifully returned with two bottles of coconut water, a Powerade, animal crackers and a banana.

"Wait where did that come from? Did you bring that all with you?" Your brain hurt trying to remember the last time you'd gone grocery shopping.

"Yeah, I thought you might need it. You probably should change, you good on that?" He blushed and busied himself arranging your snacks for you.

You realize you're still in your jumpsuit that zips up the back, worse the room is still swaying.

"Please," you manage to squeak out. "Can you grab my big purple t shirt and I have a pair a grey shorts in my second drawer."

He got your clothes and you put the shirt on over your head letting it rest on your shoulders as he stood you up. You wrapped your arms around him as he unzipped your suit and unclasped your bra. The feeling of his fingers grazing your bare back made you gasp, and you hoped he didn't notice. He pulled back and lowered the oversized shirt as your clothes fell to the floor. He sat you back on the bed and got your feet into your shorts and the two of you worked together to get them up your legs.

"Are you ok?" Luke suddenly looked concerned.

"I'm gonna be sick, I'm sorry," you whispered.

He carried you to the little bathroom connected to your bedroom and held you as you heaved and coughed. You could hear him muttering to himself behind you.

"I'm gonna kill Calum for letting it get this far. He shouldn't have let you drink that much."

"Hey," you protested weakly, "it's not Calum's fault I'm an idiot. He shouldn't have to babysit me. I can handle myself."

"That is obviously not true, look what happened," he scoffed. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

"Well we can't all have hot girlfriends, that we're constantly fighting with," you complained as he got you settled in comfortably.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous," he teased. "I thought you two were friends."

"Uh we are, it's just that you two have kind of been fighting a lot lately." You tried to walk it back.

"Don't," he sighed, clearly annoyed again. "Last night we were arguing about you so you weren't the only one pretending. Why can't people just be honest?"

"Was that a dig at me?" You pout at him, getting irritated yourself.

"A little bit, I heard some of what you said to Calum. It sounded pretty serious, but you refused to talk to me. I had to leave because Calum was getting super aggressive, and wouldn't let me see you. He wouldn't let anyone near you actually, except Eva. What the hell was that all about?" Luke's jaw was clenched tight and he was scrolling through Netflix on your bedroom TV, refusing to look at you.

"I don't know why Calum was acting like that," you told himand he shook his head. "Maybe I feel like hot garbage right now and don't want to analyze everything. I'm not even sure why I got so upset. It really is kind of hazy," you used your baby voice and he couldn't help but smile. He put a pillow on his lap and let you rest your head as you started watching TV. He played with your hair and rubbed your back until you were practically purring.

Suddenly you remembered, "wait why were you two fighting about me?" You sat up quickly and regretted it just as fast. Luke steadied you and laid you back down gently. "She thinks we're too close. She never had a problem before but now she says it's different."

"What did she say?" You were fighting sleep and he knew it.

"Get some rest," his fingers grazed your skin, his voice low. "We can talk later, I'm not going anywhere."

When you woke hours later you could hear Luke downstairs in the kitchen and you could smell bacon. Your stomach growled and you reached out for the cookies he'd left for you. Nibbling on them helped but you decided you wanted to try whatever he was cooking. You reached for your phone to text him when you saw several missed calls and messages. Plenty of your friends were at the party and wanted to check up on you but you scrolled down to Eva first.

How's everything with Luke? He was pissed when he showed up this morning. He made me change your sheets before he carried you upstairs, and then made me take them home and wash them. Wtf even happened last night? You were fine and then next thing I know Calum is coming to get me because you're fucking wasted. You were saying some crazy shit last night. If you really feel that strongly you need to tell him bc I heard them fighting. His girlfriend thinks you like him and doesn't want y'all hanging out anymore. Cut that bitch off at the knees babe hmu later so I can tell you about Calum

You texted Luke below he could come back upstairs

Idk what you're cooking but it smells amazing. Can I have a bite? Please?

He answered quickly

I was hoping you'd be hungry. I'll make you a little plate. Drink water

You smiled, letting yourself enjoy being domestic with Luke for a day. You quickly scroll back down to check the texts from Calum.

You owe me big time. Luke almost swung on me twice. He's furious I let you drink too much and was worried I had a thing for you. Good thing I had Eva walking sideways 😝😝😝

You need to talk to him, there's got to be a reason he's so overprotective. Hmmmm

His gf is looking for him, he's ignoring her to take care of you. Lucky you have such a good friend right?

You answered Calum back listening for Luke

Yeah he's mad at me too, it's not just you

Did he leave? I thought he was staying there?

Yeah he's downstairs making us food

Oh yeah he sounds really pissed lol tell him I said hi

You heard Luke coming up the stairs

Not a chance, gotta go, he's coming

You put your phone back on the charger and scrambled back onto the pillow before he came back into the room carrying two plates. He'd made bacon and eggs for himself but you hated eggs so he'd made you tater tots covered in bacon and cheese with ranch dressing on the side. He was trying not to eat carbs, but always stole bites off your plate insisting those calories didn't count. You put queer eye on Netflix and you sat side by side, propped up with pillows against the headboard while you ate. He claimed not to like the show, but you knew JVN and Karamo were his favorites. He always laughed at you because you always cried watching this show but he also got choked up a bit from time to time. Your leg was pressed against his and your felt his phone vibrating, text after text, call after call and he ignored them all.

"Are you just gonna let everything go to voicemail?" You asked.

"Told you I didn't want to talk about it, got some thinking to do," his voice was hollow and he was really starting to worry you.

"Why won't you talk to me Luke? I don't understand what's going on." You ask finishing your food.

"I don't either," he sighed. "Why didn't you tell me you like someone?"

"What are you talking about?" You decide to admit nothing until you know what he knows.

"One minute you're hanging with Calum and Mikey, dancing and having fun. By the time I see you next you're in tears and crying to Calum about how you can never get him to notice you. That he doesn't look at you that way. How can he be so sexy with those eyes, his body, the way he moves across a room. Why didn't you tell me?" Luke turned big puppy dog eyes on you and your entire body is hot with embarrassment. You don't remember saying that, but you knew exactly who you meant. How are you going to explain yourself?

Luke surprises you when he keeps talking,"I don't want to tell you what to do, but you know how Michael is with women. He's one of my best friends, my brother, but he only wants one thing and you're worth more than that."

You start laughing, unable to believe Luke is so clueless to think you're after Michael. Not that you'd mind a hookup, you'd heard the rumors about how good he was in bed. You were also aware Michael never caught feelings and soon grew bored with any girl he took to bed.

"I'm not into Mikey like that," you told him. "He was going to be a distraction but I got too drunk."

"So who were you crying over, I want to know who's ass to kick." Luke looked relieved but still concerned.

"It's not important now," you tell him. "He has a girlfriend, and he doesn't see me that way."

Luke frowned, opened his mouth to speak before snapping it shut and closing his eyes. He looked back down at you, "if he doesn't see how wonderful you are, then he definitely doesn't deserve your tears." He reached over and squeezed your leg and it jolted through your entire body. You grabbed his empty plate and swung your legs over the side of the bed. It was only when you stood up and the entire room swayed your remembered your pounding head. Luke was up and next to you in a flash.

"No no no sweetie easy," he took the plates out of your hands and sat you back down. "I'll take care of that, drink some water for me." You nodded and complied, feeling your head ease up a bit.

"I need to take a shower," you insisted.

"Fine, I'll do the dishes so you can have some privacy." Luke walked you to the bathroom and made sure you had towels and your big fluffy robe. You were still a bit woozy but slow deliberate movements kept it mostly at bay.

The water felt like heaven against your skin. For several moments you just let it pour over you, hoping it could wash away your feelings. It didn't work, especially when soaping yourself down you imagined for a second not being alone in the shower. What it would be like to have him pressed against you, his hands on your wet skin.

You groaned in frustration because you felt too awful to get yourself off but thinking about Luke in the shower left you incredibly horny. You finished your shower and shut off the water. Wrapped in your robe and with a towel on your head you sat on the edge of your tub to think about everything. You couldn't deny your feelings for Luke any longer, but had no idea what to do about them. You were starting to suspect he was a little conflicted himself. You decided to test that a bit, and made your way back to your room. Despite it being just after six pm you dug through your pajama drawer finding a matching grey tank and shorts set that was girly cute but not obviously sexy, with a pink lace bralette and purple boy shorts underneath. Sitting on your bed you got the bralette and tank top on just fine, but bending over to try and pull up your panties was not happening. You texted Luke downstairs

I need help getting dressed

He came back upstairs quickly his eyes going wide as he realized your predicament.

"Can you please just hook them on my feet and pull them up where I can reach?" You tried sounding irritated but you were super nervous. So was he from the looks of it, he nodded and swallowed before kneeling and carefully looping the underwear over your feet pulling them up until your hands met his just below your knees. The whole time not looking up at you but his eyes fixed on the hem of your shirt as it grazed your thighs. You saw him blink back to reality and abruptly stand up and turn around. You pulled the panties over your hips and sat back up.

"You can turn back around now." You teased him, handing him the shorts when he did. Same thing only this time he let his hands reach your thighs before he stopped, and when took the fabric from his fingers they lingered hovering before brushing the inside of your thigh with the back of his knuckles.

"Your skin is so soft." You barely heard him and you saw him flush red when he realized what he'd said. He stood up just as you leaned forward and smacked his head into yours.

You both yelped in pain and shock before collapsing onto the bed. You lay there almost in tears until Luke started giggling, which is contagious and soon you're both cracking up.

This doesn't help your headache and when he sees you wince he stops laughing and pulls himself over next to you. Resting on his side on one elbow he inspects the small knot forming at your hairline. He presses a kiss to the spot and you look up at him and return the favor, smoothing his curls away from his forehead and ghosting your lips across his skin before lying back down. You feel the tension in the air and you decide to make a move. Until your stomach growls breaking the spell. Luke laughs and pats your belly, "Let's get some dinner and watch a movie."

He carries you downstairs on his back and puts you on the couch so you can order takeout. You already had his order memorized, grilled chicken wrap, no cheese, extra chicken add avocado. You got a chicken pita, extra feta because he always stole some of it. Luke let you pick the movies grumbling when you picked Aladdin yet he always sang along to every song. You would sing with him on the silly songs like "Friend Like Me"and "Prince Ali" , but left the "A whole new world" to him alone, sometimes closing your eyes and just listening to his voice.

The food arrives just as he's finishing the song.

"Ugh I'm starving," he pushes off the couch to answer the door.

He comes back with the food and gets everything set up, winking at you as he immediately stole a big chunk of feta.

The two of you got quiet as you ate, randomly throwing out lines, by the time the movie was over you were both finished and full.

You were getting a bit sleepy so he put Moana on next and laid your head on a pillow in his lap.

As you watched the movie you became distracted by a loose bright yellow thread in the inseam of his shorts. Rubbing your finger along the seam trying to figure out where the pull started you didn't realize what you were doing until Luke snapped "can you just watch the movie?"

You were taken aback by the harsh tone until you felt him reach inner the pillow to adjust himself. Then you decided to push it up a notch toying with the hem of his shorts before resting your hand on his thigh and giving him a little squeeze.

"Thank you for taking care of me today, I appreciate it," you keep your voice low and stretch your legs out a bit letting your shorts ride up. After a few minutes of you moving around Luke finally taps your shoulder.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," he tells you and you sat up, noticing the bulge he tried to hide in his shorts.

When he got back you saw it was gone and he seemed more relaxed. Luke checked the time on his phone.

"I should go before I fall asleep here, and really get myself into trouble." He grins at you and helps you to your feet for a hug.

"Make sure you keep drinking water and no more drinking like that ok. I don't like seeing my girl upset like that, he doesn't deserve it," Luke tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. He looked at you with such warmth and caring you didn't want him to leave but you couldn't make yourself tell him that. "And no Michael, no Calum, you're off limits and they know this "

"You're not my daddy," you pout sticking out your tongue at him. "What are you gonna do about Leila? She knows you've been here all day and she's pissed," you asked him.

His face darkened, "how do you know that?"

You realize Luke hadn't told you that, Calum had. Your expression tells on you and Luke nods, "I'll deal with him tomorrow. You need to get some rest, can you get back upstairs?"

You nod, "yeah I'm feeling better, you make a good nurse."

"Anything for you sweetheart." He wraps you in a hug again kissing your forehead. "You know you're like family to me "

"Yeah that's the problem." The words are out of your mouth before your realize it and for a second you think they were too muffled for him to hear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luke pulls back from you. His eyes searching yours, and you can't believe he's that surprised.

"Break up with your girlfriend and we'll find out." You blurt out the words and instantly want to take it all back. You pulled back and turned away from him, but he stepped up behind you, just like he has a million times before, and squeezed your shoulders while kissing the top of your head.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Then he's gone.

You text Eva and she rushes over. The next two hours are a rehashing of every second with Luke as well as more information than you needed about Calum's big dick.

That all happened Sunday. Monday you hadn't heard a word from anyone until Calum texted you after your got home from work.

They broke up, and he's still not talking to me. He even got into it with Michael today telling him you were off limits. What has he said to you?

Nothing, once I told him I didn't want him to think of me like a sister I haven't heard a word. I fucked everything up

You said something? Haha No wonder he's freaking out. I don't think you fucked up, but you definitely hit a nerve. You'll hear from him soon

That was Monday, it was now Wednesday and he still hadn't contacted you aside from liking your posts on social media. You'd even texted him yesterday

Heard what happened, hope you're doing ok. Lmk if you need anything

He'd read it almost immediately but hadn't replied. Michael ended up DM'ing you that night to ask you what happened, and why Luke was trying to warn him off. You had to admit you'd told Luke you found him attractive and thought he'd make a nice distraction from your current problems.

Radio silence stretched until Friday. By the you were a nervous wreck trying to stay busy and not think about it. That just made you think about it more until Luke finally texted you

Hey sorry, I've just been dealing with a lot lately. Tell your mom I said happy birthday, miss ya

You blinked back tears, not because you were hurt, but because you were pissed. What kind of half assed message was that? After what went down Sunday, not to mention waiting five days to contact you in general.

Thanks I'll let her know, going out this weekend, hope to see ya

Prob not but will see

You were stunned at his answer and Calum agreed he was acting like a bitch. Calum and Michael had already convinced you to come out to the club with them Friday. Luke was mad and wouldn't go so you could have fun without worrying about Luke and whatever was going on between the two of you.

You and Eva showed up to the club that night and gave your names at the door. Calum put you on the list for VIP so you went all out. Your black halter top and a silver sequin mini skirt must've looked decent on you given the wicked grin Michael gave you when he saw you. You took a shot from Calum's hand and raised a toast, "to moderation," and you both laughed taking the shot. It was then you saw Luke, sitting in the corner and glaring at you.

"What is he doing here?" You hiss at Calum who shrugs.

"He found out you were coming and suddenly he had to be here. He's mad at us so we're not fucking with him right now. Ignore him, have fun with us."

Eva pulled her onto the floor and they danced together feeling the guys watching them. After a couple songs you wanted a glass of water. Michael was right there, handing you water and flagging down the server so you could order something stronger. You got a tall vodka and cranberry and cozied up to Michael. He was whispering to you and cracking jokes to make you laugh while never getting too handsy or flirty. Calum and Eva were all over each other and you caught Luke's eye as Michael murmured something in your ear. Luke glared at you and you responded by blowing him a kiss.

Luke almost smiled but he looked away, determined to be difficult.

You rolled your eyes and let Ashton lead you out to the dance floor. Music was blasting and you were a decent dancer, and Ashton knew some moves. It was sensual, but not too sexy and you felt he was holding back.

"I thought you were supposed to have hips," you teased him as he turned you three times before bringing you back into him, his fingers lightly resting on your hips.

Accepting the challenge he rolled his hips, thrusting a bit more aggressively against you. Calum noticed and began to cheer you guys on as you danced closer together. You saw Luke stand up. Michael held him back, trying to talk him down, but Luke pushed past him towards where you were.

He cut in and Ashton gave you a wink as he backed away. You kept dancing as if you didn't notice. Luke's fingers dug into your hips as he pressed himself against your back, rocking his hips in time with yours, with his breath hot on your neck. Your fingers entwined with his as you followed familiar steps with your favorite dance partner.

"Come on now, Ashton? What are you thinking? He's worse than Mike. I don't want you being just another one of his girls," Luke snapped.

"You haven't talked to me all week." You shot back. "How am I supposed to know what you want? Besides you're not my father, my brother or my boyfriend so you don't really get an opinion."

"We can work on that." He spun you around, your chest pressed to his staring down at you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask, unable to stop staring at his lips.

"Kiss me and we'll find out." He winked just before his mouth was on yours. His arms circled your waist as your hands crept up his chest feeling his heartbeat race as he kissed you.

You were interrupted seconds later by Calum hugging the two of you, jumping around screaming "I knew it, I knew it."

"Fuck off Calum," Luke snarled and you laughed.

"No way, I'm a fucking matchmaker and I want credit." Calum was smiling at you proudly. "I knew you guys would be perfect together."

Luke laughed and pushed Calum out of the way so he could kiss you again.

@kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @ghostofmashton @5sosnsfw @irwinkitten @sexgodashton @maluminspace @kchillout

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dedicatedfollower467 · 4 years

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DIRK’S PESTERQUEST ROUTE REACTIONS AS THEY HAPPEN

spoilers etc. yada yada yada i’ve been waiting for this for fucking EVER.

this is fucking massive, for the record.

“The one and only” lmao suuuuuuure whatever you say dirk.

i fucking adore his metal scuba suit though holy SHIT

“[talking in meatspace] isn’t exactly my forte” akdfsljkadsfhksadf you bet your ASS it isn’t mr. strider. (at this point i’m assuming this is actually hal, wouldn’t be the first time that we met “dirk” and it turned out to be hal)

the power of his own “voice” is almost too much for him MY CHILD.

OH HELLO HAL. GOOD TO SEE YOU USING YOUR USUAL RED. LOVE THE THEME MUSIC CHANGE TOO. IT’S GOOD MUSIC.

i fucking KNEW it i fucking knew that was hal lmao

so in that case HI DIRK HELLO MY ASSHOLE BABY CHILD.

“The use of the speaker system is new, but it makes sense he’d up his game for interfering with relationships I’m busy forging in 3D. I guess I should go ahead and be proud of him for it.” god i really wish dirk and hal could get along but they both hate themselves and therefore each other way too much for that...

“Every line of muscle in his body is held in excruciating placidity. You’ve never seen a jaw so purposefully unclenched” dIRK!!!!

“you’ll prove it to him with your deeds. it seems like that might be his love language” BOY FUCKING HOWDY IS IT. also how did i never put that together before ofc dirk’s love language is acts of service practically everything he does is an attempt to serve his friends in some capacity and he’s SO BAD at telling them with words.

(his secondary love language is gifts, evidence: brobot and detective pony)

god i’m so excited and so nervous lmao

i love this sprite with the verrrrrry slight smile he looks so sweet.

hell yes the fucking ROCKET BOARD.

“this is a much more comfortable thing for him than the conversation was” I’LL FUCKING BET IT IS.

“with Dirk it’s almost like he’d be less penetrable without [his shades]” oh well now THAT’S an interesting thought/observation.

holy shit that’s a cute fucking smile holy shit holy shit look at that grin AHHHH I’M DYING MY BOY IS SMILING.

“Not sure how well my deep, personal beef with the imagery of the sea will land for you, but there it is.” WELL THAT CERTAINLY MAKES THAT ONE LINE FROM HOMESTUCK 2 A LOT MORE EMOTIONAL, WHICH IT ALREADY DEFINITELY FUCKING WAS.

“Ace Attorney monologue” OMFG HAS DIRK PLAYED AA??? WHO’S HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER? WHAT’S HIS FAVORITE GAME?? i mean he’s definitely got the hair to be a fucking ace attorney character especially in pesterquest lmao

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS HE HOLDING BACK A LAUGH. IS THAT WHAT THAT MOUTH IS. HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THIS ALKJADSFLADHADS

“He’s leaning forward, laughing, dimples carved into his freckled cheeks. There’s a small twist in your heart about it, and you can’t place why.” A *SMALL* TWIST? A SMALL TWIST? TRY A TWIST THAT’S WRENCHING MY HEART WIDE FUCKING OPEN AND SPILLING ITS CONTENTS ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.

“At least make me try and earn it first.” THAT’S THE MOST DIRK THING I’VE EVER HEARD AND ALSO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

“I can just fold [my hand] and hope your shit works out instead.” Ah yes, dirk’s incessant and almost pathological need to be in control at work again.

“I want to be the only one in charge of endangering my own life. You got me.” oh dirk. oh honey.

“How much has this boy wanted to be known?” oh okay yeah that’s fine i didn’t need my heart anyway pesterquest, you can have it.

oh. hi ultimate dirk. i fucking knew this was gonna fucking happen.

“i can’t believe i was ever this pathetic” LEAVE HIM ALONE. (but also i know you can’t because you fucking hate yourself and it’s fucking tragic)

OH. OH OKAY WE’RE NOT JUST GONNA BE FUCKING NARRATIVE WE’RE GONNA BRING THE ACTUAL FUCKING DUDE HERE.

AND WE’RE GONNA PLAY AN OMINOUS-ASS VERSION OF "BEATDOWN” HOLY SHIT. CHRIST CAN WE GET ANY MORE HEAVY HANDED HERE????

also holy shitting christ ultimate dirk is swole. ‘twink ass bitch’ my ass, he’s at least a twunk.

“You fuck off and let people live their arcs.” NO FUCKING WAY, NOT IF HIS IS GOING TO END UP AS YOU, DICKHEAD.

“Oh fuck.

You remember it.

You remember Homestuck.”

well, probably not all of it, it’s pretty goddamn long, and very hard to remember all the details. i should know, i’m currently re-reading it.

oh no.

oh no, this looks like regular dirk but ominous “beatdown” is playing which makes me very fucking nervous.

“You cared about him before you knew every tiny fucked up detail about his life, and now, with a reminder of where his story leads leaning smugly against the railing, you find you still do.” YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I DO!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!

“He’s intense and pushy and profoundly complicated, and right now he is helping you to your feet, his hand steady and firm on your back as you find your balance.” I’M CRYING.

“This isn’t as simple as an evil Dirk and a good one. If you’ve learned anything from your travels it’s that everyone has the capacity for hurt inside them, and everyone the capacity for love.” I’M STILL CRYING.

“The combo of all splinters of Dirk, fermenting in his flesh container and not holding onto his shit nearly as well as he likes to pretend” an apt and succinct description of ultimate dirk.

“No, I can see it. If anyone was going to pull off an “I’m you, but stronger,” it would be all of me, combined.” DIRK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

“Your allegiance is not to the story, but to the people within it.” A-FUCKING-MEN MSPAR!!!

“The ends always justifies the means, Dirk.” I feel like that’s the breaking point there. IDK what’s going to happen next but that line sure was a line about philosophy, aka one of Dirk’s biggest special interests.

“[Ultimate Dirk] doesn’t have to work overtime to create more pain just so he can feel like he’s in control of how much punishment he gets and how badly he deserves it!”

oh.

oh wow.

oh WOW that’s hitting it on the fucking nose, MSPAR.

“He’s going to drown in [longing and loathing and Ultimate Dirk] if you don’t do something” STOP COMING BACK TO THAT GODDAMN LINE PESTERQUEST YOU’RE FUCKING KILLING ME HERE.

“You know how he loves -- though it’s fierce (to a definite fault), he does not do it easily.” STOP MURDERING MY HEART WITH PERFECT SNAPSHOTS OF DIRK AS A PERSON EVERY TWO SECONDS MSPAR I CAN’T HANDLE IT.

AHHHHHHHH IT’S DAVE!!! IT’S FUCKING. CANDY DAVE. I JUST. I CANNOT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!

“you look like someone ironed the mayor so that’s a million more points in your favor” DAAAAAAVE!!!!

“Dave pulls him into a short, back-thumping bro hug which Dirk weathers like a wet cat not trusting a towel to dry him off.” AAAAAHHHHHHHH I’M FUCKING DYING I’M DYING I’M DYING HELP I’M DYING GOD HELP HOLY SHIT, FIRST OF ALL, THE SPRITE/ILLUSTRATION, SECOND OF ALL, THAT DESCRIPTION OF DIRK, THIRD OF ALL I’M FUCKING DYING

CANDY DAVE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

you deserve so much better than the raw hand the candy epilogue dealt you jfc.

“Bringing fucking guns to a knife fight here.” I mean, did you really expect MSPAR to play fair when the health and happiness of all their best friends is at stake, UD?

SAD ENDING IS SAD.

“Be good to that me, will you? Treat him right?”

dirk, this is yourself. you’ve never treated yourself right. ever. tbqh you probably never will. ultimate dirk is absolutely no different.

(but also this makes me wonder if we’re gonna see “Trust yourself” timeline Pesterquest Dirk showing up in Homestuck 2? That would be fucking wild I’d love to see that.)

“are we anti-ocean here”

“Oh yeah, extremely.”

YES, WE FUCKING ARE, AND AGAIN WITH THE REFERENCES TO HOMESTUCK 2 JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

oh, of fucking course ultimate dirk’s a sore loser, he’s ultimate dirk, fucking duh.

“You did it. You got him a good end.” i fucking love that this game is literally just. explicitly saying exactly what i was freaking over and desperately wanted.

like i’m just gonna take a moment here to admit that i was really nervous that dirk would end up like candy timeline dirk and just off himself. i was really afraid that a good end just straight up wasn’t possible.

i love that it’s not. and i equally love that the game acknowledges that a FUCKTON of us really wanted to give him that.

“Maybe [Doc Scratch] and Ultimate Dirk were working together the whole time.” maybe doc scratch has been ultimate dirk this whole time. or vice versa.

“There are just so many details to remember” lmao i made that point like a dozen paragraphs up.

i.... do not recognize the text style of whoever just say “hey. we can talk about this.”

IT’S HUSSIE. HOLY SHIT. IT’S DEFINITELY 100% HUSSIE.

i....... don’t know who that is? the woman?

is this like. the person who’s been running pesterquest?

it totally is.

i don’t know who that is i don’t know enough about the homestuck machine to know who that actually is.

lmao ultimate dirk and the irl director are fighting over how incredibly self-indulgent this metanarrative is, which is fucking amazing. i kind of love this? i really kind of adore this.

i can’t help but notice that the director has blank white eyes.

i.e. the Author is already dead, yo.

“They’re just an artifact of the medium” HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS FANTASTIC. I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN HERE.

“I’d say thanks but I feel like you all got more out of it than me” I’M DYING I LOVE THIS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY.

“Stop flirting with my audience you anime ass motherfucker” LMAOOOOOOOO

“I wouldn’t look like this if you didn’t want me to” I KNOW I’M JUST QUOTING BASICALLY THIS WHOLE THING BUT LISTEN I LOVE IT, I FUCKING LOVE IT, IT’S FUCKING PERFECT, GOD. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS SO GOOD.

“I actually let the artists have a lot of creative license” somebody’s horny for ultimate dirk.

eridan DESERVES that gender arc and i’m excited for him.

“Happy people don’t get stories told about them.” I’m sorry, I’ve read enough Domestic Fluff fanfic to tell you that’s just blatantly not true, Ultimate Dirk.

wait.

wait wait wait wait.

pesterquest is a RETCON???????????

THAT was not something i was expecting

you click “don’t” betray your friends and pesterquest just fucking closes like this is fucking undertale jesus fucking christ.

but....

i don’t wanna betray my friends.

but i wanna see what happens....

god dammit this is exactly like the murder run of undertale, i don’t wanna do it but i have to know.

“Andrew Hussie would never do this to me” yeah well, Andrew Hussie barely ever interacted with you soooooo...

and if i throw the beta in the sewer again pesterquest quits. again.

i mean, i knew it would but... *sigh*

that’s a fucking depressing ass ending.

... except that “Savior of the Waking World” still hasn’t been unlocked...

Huh.

I’m... gonna see what happens if I start John’s route over again.

oh duh, of course it’s a retcon, MSPAR touched the Homestuck juju. i forgot about that.

(a big part of me wants to look up the process of getting the true ending. but a bigger part of me wants to figure it out for myself.)

hmmm. okay so replaying john’s ending once didn’t do it.

i guess i coooooould try replaying the whole thing? that sounds. like a lot of effort.

or i could try not betraying my friends approximately five million times let’s see what happens if i do that.

i’m going to do that experimenting in another post cuz this is already huge. see ya in part two.

#pesterquest #pesterquest spoilers #def plays pesterquest #homestuck

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go! Spoiler-free again. I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon? Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed. Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post). Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next: Any bonuses? Oh, none! Phew. Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often. :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right. :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me? Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings? As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew. Bracing myself. That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along? Or leave her back there with her meta freakout? Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas. (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing. Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great. I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not. That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade. Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick?? I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands. Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip?? Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness. Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice. And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress. Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings? I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes. PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too. (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock. Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design. --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh. Cool!

Hero outfit, understated... her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases. Works well! (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough. Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys. I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this. (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes. Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here??? No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7. That’s fucking disappointing. How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads? She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2. Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected. This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew. It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk. --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood. Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright. You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed. :(

> ==>

...okay you know what? Never mind. That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much? We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn. :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity? That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks? Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips? And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK. You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave. Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something. Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!?? Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE??? FUCK you. Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I. There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm. Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”. I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right? She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop. I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering? Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah. A little worse than my casual list, huh? Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all. Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C. :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though. I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation. Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

--Oh right. I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you. That’s good to remember. But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years. :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT. I should have read one line further. They DID bring her. Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her. ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of. And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding. Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard. Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8! Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected. Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots #spoiler #spoilers #shoutyourporpoise

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krreader · 6 years

Text

BTS scenario → them being the good guy, you being the bad girl.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; college!au ; sex ; public sex ; oral sex ; language genre: smut ; angst ; fluff

a/n: oh my fucking god, this is so fucking good of a request that I literally am so inspired to write 29292 stories out of these scenarios lol. I really hope you all like them (and why the fuck do almost all of them revolve around sex lol. can you tell I’m about to have my period and am horny 24/7 - editing update: idk when i wrote that but honestly, can still relate lol) (masterlist is in my description box)

kim seokjin

All Jin had wanted to do was spend a few peaceful hours in the library to study for the test he'd have next week. And at this late hour, it was simply the best time for him to do so, only a few students scattered here and there.

But tonight, there would be no peace.

Not when you entered the library and sat down in front of him.

“Hey Kim.”

“This is a library,” he said, his voice relatively low, “People want to study here.”

“Come on, babe,” you smiled sweetly, waited until he finally raised his head until you let your foot glide up his leg. You could see him tense, but he didn't scoot away.

He'd never scoot away from your touch.

“(Y/N),” he warned. Or at least tried to make it sound as a warning.

“There's this really nice corner over there,” you nodded towards a secluded section in the back, “You and I could check out the books.. see if there's anything interesting for you there?”

You got up before he did, but he didn't manage to sit still for more than ten seconds longer before he ran after you.

Jin had considered himself to be a good student before. One who followed the rules.

Until you entered his life and now..-

..- now he was fucking his girlfriend into a bookshelf and praying that nobody would come find you two here or his reputation would quickly go down and join yours on the floor.

min yoongi

Yoongi liked to stay within his group of friends. He had his brothers/frat members and that's all he ever needed. He didn't need to go partying or anything when he could just stay at home and enjoy his night with them.

But then one night changed everything.

One night, in which you and a couple of your girlfriends had decided to drive around town and play pranks on every frat house you could find. And unfortunately, Yoongi's was one of them.

“What the hell?” he asked as he was walking outside, still in his pajamas, just like his frat members.

“Oh, did I wake you up?” you laughed, your head cocked to the side, “Sorry, grandpa.”

“Grandpa?!” Yoongi repeated, furrowing his eyebrows.

To his left, he could see Taehyung and Jeongguk trying to get your girlfriends to stop throwing toilet paper over the bushes and against the windows. But all he could really focus on was you, especially when you came dangerously close.

“Aren't you?” you licked your lips.

Yoongi tried telling himself that you weren't worth it. That he didn't have to prove anything to you and that he was better than this.

‘Just turn around and walk back inside, Yoongi. Just.. turn.. around and..-’

But there was that challenging glint in your eyes that had him say: “Come inside and I'll show you differently.”

Your plan for tonight was really just to play pranks, not get fucked mercilessly by someone you thought was a boring guy that was mentally 90.

And if Min Yoongi proved you one thing that night, it's that he was not boring at all.

jung hoseok

“I really want to go home,” Hoseok sighed deeply, trying to convince his hyungs to go home early from this party.

He just hated these things. He'd rather stay at home with pizza and and watch a movie. Parties just weren't his thing.

But tonight was one of his frat member's friends birthday party and so he had let himself be dragged here.

And regretted it more than anything, especially when three girls suddenly walked up to him and his friends, you at the front.

“Hoseok, right?”

“Y..- Yeah?” he knew who you were. Well, everyone knew who you were. Maybe that's why he was so intimidated.

“Okay, so here's the thing. Somebody dared me to do something and I'm really not someone who likes to lose..”

“Okay?”

“The dare is to get you to sleep with me.”

Hoseok's head immediately whipped to his two frat members that had dragged him here, Jimin and Taehyung immediately giving him a huge thumbs up.

“She’d treat you really good,” one of your friends said sweetly.

“Better than anyone has ever treated you,” the other one added.

Hoseok would lie if he said he wasn't interested. The last time he's had good sex was with his ex and he's been single for over three years now.

That's probably why he agreed. And because you were literally the most beautiful woman he had seen in ages and never thought you’d even talk to him.

But after that night, it was actually you that reached out to him. Because you couldn’t let a man like that go, not when he was actually the one that treated you like a freaking queen.

kim namjoon

He was doing this for credits. He was doing this so that he could be someone important one day, just like he always wanted.

But now that he was brushing his hands over his face, completely done with you, he didn't know if this was worth it.

“Can't we just take a break? Do something fun?” you wanted to pull out a cigarette, but Namjoon quickly took them away and threw them in the garbage.

“(Y/N), if you don't get this into your head soon, you will fail this semester.”

“So what? I don't care,” you shrugged, leaning back with crossed arms.

“But I do!” did that just come out of his mouth? Why was he so upset over this? You were a bitch, everyone knew that. So why did he care so much? You seemed to ask yourself the same thing, surprised that anyone would care about something like your grades, “You think your act is so cool, right? Well, guess what? It's not. Because I know that even though you like to pretend to be stupid because that's cooler, you're actually really smart. So stop pretending to be this person you're not. Stop pretending like you don't care, when you do!”

Nobody has ever talked to you like that.

If they had, you would have kicked their asses.

But instead, you blinked at Namjoon a couple of times and then pulled the book back towards you, turning it to the next page.

And Namjoon let out a breath, beginning to smile softly.

park jimin

Jimin and a friend of his were sitting in an empty lecture hall, talking, laughing.. getting to know each other a little better maybe.

She and him didn't know each other very well yet, but if it was up to Jimin, he would like to change that.

But there was still that matter of..-

“Oh, come on, Park. Seriously?” you leaned against the door frame, chewing on your gum as you were looking at him and the girl in disgust.

Great.. he didn't really need his ex-girlfriend on a day like this. So he quickly apologized to the girl and told her to wait, before he ran up to you and dragged you into the hallway.

“What do you want here?!”

“Just wanted to see if she sucked you off yet,” you shrugged.

“Stop being jealous. We broke up, remember?”

“You broke up.. and nobody ever breaks up with me, Jimin,” you cocked your head to the side, “Just.. come back to me, okay? We can work out whatever bothered you and I can give you exactly what you want.”

You tried to be seductive, but the second you wanted to touch Jimin, he pushed your hand away.

“I don't want anything from you, (Y/N)! You and me.. we're just way too different! But her..-” Jimin turned his head to the side to look at the other girl, suddenly turning a lot softer, “She's right for me. She understands me and she’s kind and sweet and..- please, just..- leave me alone, I'm begging you.”

You had tried to win him back for months. That's how much you loved him. But Jimin never seemed to see that. All he saw was the bad girl that only wanted to smoke, drink and have sex. He didn't see how much you had changed because of him. How much you wanted to become a better person because of him.

You watched him go back into the lecture hall, your squad showing up behind you.

“Should we have our fun with her?” one of the girl asked, “Maybe show her that you don’t mess with our boss’s men?”

You blinked a couple of times, a lonely tear running out of your eyes as you watched the two of them smile at each other before you said: “Yes.”

kim taehyung

“Where are you going? Church?” you laughed as you passed Taehyung on the parking lot of the shopping center.

“What if I was?” he tried walking faster, but you were quicker, pushing yourself between him and the door to his car.

“I'd say that sinning is a lot more fun than praying.”

Taehyung's breathing hitched in his throat from how close you were and tried telling himself that the last time was a mistake. That it was a one-time thing and that just because he jerked off to the memories of being buried inside you didn't mean that he wanted to do it again.

He was a good guy. You weren't. You were mean and you broke the rules and..-

..- god, you were so fucking attractive.

“My roommates are out for the day, you know?” you whispered, getting up on your tiptoes to quickly kiss his lips.

But that was enough for him to open the door and push you inside.

It was thankfully dark outside, the parking lot being almost empty anyways, because you and him did not manage to make it back to your apartment.

jeon jeongguk

Jeon Jeongguk liked to steer clear of trouble.

He attended his classes in the morning, went to the gym, went home to study and went to bed.

Every day the same thing.

It might be boring for some, but it was enough for him.

Until one day, the doors to the gym got opened and you walked in. And then everything changed.

“Jeongguk! Hey, are you in here?!”

Jeongguk bit his lip, looking down at you and begging you to stop sucking him off in the shower with his eyes, but you only grinned around his cock, making him moan out loud almost.

“Ah, yeah.. I'm here, hyung.”

“A couple of us wanted to meet to study later at my place.. do you want to come too? I'll order pizza.”

The old Jeongguk would have said yes in a heartbeat. Pizza, friends and studying sounding great.

The new Jeongguk, however, knew that he would rather take his new girlfriend home and screw her so hard that she would cry eventually, not study a single bit, because he'd rather hold her all night long and wonder how the hell he managed to score someone that was so unlike him.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass tonight. I'm.. kinda tired..-”

“No problem, man. Rest up!”

And as soon as the doors were closed, you released his penis with a plop and smiled up at him, “Any plans for tonight?”

“So many,” he laughed darkly and pulled you up from the floor, picking you up like you were a feather.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

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littlemaatta · 6 years

Text

Long Time - Sidney Crosby x Reader

@svrefovr said: I have a prompt I'd really like to see with Sid. I know you have a lot of requests so if you don't want to do it, I completely understand. By the way, I absolutely love your writing! "I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more."

A/N: how could I say no to a Sid prompt? ;) especially one sent by my fave person lol. thanks for the request and for liking my writing (:

*I guess reader is like sort of an assistant coach? idk just roll with it*

"I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more."

Warnings: language, mean-ish Sid

Sidney Crosby. Pittsburgh’s golden boy and star player. And your least favorite person in the city of Pittsburgh.

When you started working with the team, you met him right away and he didn’t speak to you at all. You had tried a few more times after that but eventually gave up, thinking the captain just hated you.

You moved on. Now it’s been a few years of you working for the Penguins and you are friends with almost everyone on the team, except for the captain.

The day started off okay, and then your coffee was spilled all over your shirt, and you were late for work so you couldn’t go home and change. And you got stuck in traffic. And then your bag got caught in the door and the side of it ripped.

You couldn’t find the keys to your office and when you did, you realized you didn’t have any extra clothes.

You groan and fall down into your desk chair unceremoniously.

Conor and Jake walk in to find you sitting with your arms folded across your chest and a frown prominently placed on your face.

“Hey Y/N, what’s wrong?” Conor asks sweetly.

“I’m having a rough day.”

“Y/N, it’s only nine AM, how bad could your day be already?” Jake jokes. You make a face at him in response and show him the giant coffee stain on your shirt and the hole in your bag.

“Aww did Y/N make a mess?” he quips.

You throw up your middle finger in response, not even bothering to look at the boys for their reaction, knowing it will be laughter.

“What do you guys wan-” your words are cut off when a shirt flies across the room and hits you in the face.

You pull it off your head and turn to Jake to glare at him as he smiles innocently back at you.

“Really, Jake?”

“Your shirt is ruined and you’re upset about it. It’s an extra shirt from my bag, you need it more than I do. ” he shrugs.

You fight back the urge to smile at Jake’s kindness.

“Thank you, now get your butts ready for practice, we’re doing new drills today.”

The two boys groan in response and turn to head down the hallway as you walk across the hall to the bathroom to change into the new shirt.

After everyone, including you, has changed, Mike starts practice. You sit on the bench with a clipboard, watching each player and writing notes about their performance.

After a while you notice that Sidney is looking at you a lot. You shrug it off and continue working.

At the end of practice you give a couple players some notes and everyone files back into the locker room.

You pick up your things and stand up to do the same but when you do you crash into someone’s chest.

You look up to find the brown eyes of the Penguin’s captain staring down at you.

“Uh, sorry. I didn’t see you there. Excuse me.” you say, but Sidney doesn’t move.

“Whose shirt is that?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” he says, crossing his arms.

“Yes, but I don't know why that’s any of your business.” you respond, copying his actions.

He only stares back at you harshly.

You roll your eyes and give in, “It’s Jake’s. Why do you want to know?”

“Why are you wearing Jake’s shirt? Are you guys together?”

You stifle a laugh at the thought. “No.”

“Then why are you wearing it?”

“Fuck off, Sidney. I spilled coffee on my shirt and Jake loaned it to me because I was upset about it. What is your issue?” His eyes soften for a second but then it’s gone and he’s back to glaring, “That’s really unprofessional.”

You scoff, “You’re unprofessional.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And then all of a sudden, his lips are on yours and your arms are around his neck and all your anger melts away.

After the kiss Sidney turned and walked away, it’s been a week and he has yet to mention it again. Neither have you, although it’s all that you can think about.

You decide today that enough is enough and you grab the dark haired man by the collar of his shirt as he walks past your office and pull him inside, closing the door behind him.

You stand with your back to the door, staring him down.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he says, fixing his collar.

“You haven’t said anything and it’s all I can think about and I’m not letting you walk around anymore acting like everything is okay, because obviously nothing is okay because you fucking kissed me and you didn’t say anything and just, say something damnit!”

He sighs and rubs his neck as if he is struggling with his response, “Y/N, I’ve liked you since you came here and I know I’m not very good at showing my feelings so I’m just gonna say it the best way I can. I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

“That works.”

And with that he steps forward and kisses you again, this time it is soft and sweet and means something.

You pull away and look into his eyes and smile. But you are abruptly torn apart by the sudden cheering in the hallway. You open the door to find a crowd of eavesdropping hockey players.

Horny, whose ear was pressed to the door still, falls forwards onto your feet when you open the door and he smiles up at you innocently. “Congratulations,”

You look back at Sidney who has a smile on his face and you roll your eyes at the idiots that surround you.

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby x reader #sidney crosby imagine #pittsburgh penguins imagine #pittsburgh penguins #jake guentzel #patric hornqvist #conor sheary #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl

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joeybelle · 6 years

Text

Oh, how the tables have turned - Part 6

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt.

Warnings: Language, first person POV, mentions of wasps and bug spray - lethal combo, IDK what I’m doing.

Word count: ~4700

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-heist

A.N: I kept delaying this part because I wanted to post it together with part 7 (since 5, 6 and 7 are meant to be one big chapter), but it isn’t finished yet and it might take a while until I finish it since Sunday is my only day off and that might be pretty busy too. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy it and sorry for the wait! Any feedback is more than welcome, and if you’re bored send me a message, I love talking to people. Just remember that I’m on European time and if I don’t reply right away I might be sleeping or at work.

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw @kyloren-supreme-ben @onmyknees4steve @elsablackswift @helloimindelaware @mwcritics @makingtimemine @littlekylo

Saturday came with an unexpected wave of heat and humidity that left me unable to move without sweating buckets. Still, I was thankful it wasn’t raining again, although by the way the air felt it would probably start raining soon. Since my house had no AC, I was a bit reluctant to have people over. Nothing I could do now, besides keeping cold drinks on hand and setting up the garden hose in case anyone needed some quick cooling down. (Me. It was definitely going to be me.)

Finding all the ingredients to make muffins from scratch had been a challenge, especially since it seemed that everyone and their mother chose to make something involving blueberries. After getting the ‘I’m sorry, we just sold the last one’ answer from all the local stores, I headed to the nearest supermarket, and then to the next one, where I had to battle a couple of old ladies to get my hands on some. I only won because I was faster, but by the look they gave me as I ran away with the blueberries, they were set on getting revenge. I would have to live in fear for the rest of my life.

Fortunately, when Jimmy’s car pulled into the driveway, I had everything ready. I was pretty sure I had enough ingredients to potentially feed a small village, but I was really excited by the prospect of baking. It had been a long time since I had a working kitchen and the time to cook (and also, someone to cook for), so I may have exaggerated a bit. I was planning to make blueberry muffins, chocolate chip, raspberry and white chocolate, and maybe banana if anyone wanted more. And sandwiches for lunch, something quick and filling that I could put together in minutes so I could help if they needed me. There was a chicken parmesan casserole already prepped in the fridge, ready to throw in the oven for a filling dinner later on. By the amount of materials piled in my garage, it wasn’t a job that would be finished in a few hours.

Sadie bolted out of the car with a huge grin on her face and attacked me right away. Jimmy looked reasonably awake, but Clyde looked like a total mess. I guessed he really wasn’t used to waking up this early, since I assumed he was pulling long hours at the bar. I felt bad for him, but not so bad that I wouldn’t smile at his sleepy face.

“I have coffee,” I said instead of good morning.

“Don’t worry about him,” Jimmy laughed, earning a sideways glance from his brother. “It just takes a while to wake the bear from hibernation.”

“Well, I’m sorry…”

“One,” Clyde interrupted me, and it took me a moment to understand what he was talking about, but the tiny smirk in the corner of his mouth clued me in.

“That’s playing dirty,” I said, crossing my arms. Technically I wasn’t apologizing to him, so it didn’t count. Did it?

“Still counts,” he mumbled as he passed me.

I shook my head and smiled. This was going to be a long day, and I would enjoy the hell out of it. “Anyone want breakfast?” I offered, but Jimmy shook his head.

“We’re good,” he said, pulling a ladder out of the back of his truck. “We better get started soon before it gets too hot.”

“Well, at least come and get some coffee. It’s cold brewed.”

“What’s that?” Jimmy asked, a confused look on his face.

“It’s a fancy type of iced coffee,” Clyde explained. “You put it in cold water and…”

“Why would you drink cold coffee,” Jimmy asked me, completely ignoring his brother who shut his mouth with a frown.

“It’s refreshing,” I said, shrugging. “It’s perfect for hot weather.”

He didn’t seem convinced. “Yeah, it’s just some of that sophisticated New York shit you brought with you, isn’t it?”

“Oh come on,” I laughed. “It’s not that fancy. It’s just imported Brazilian coffee that I ground yesterday especially for you guys. Coarse ground, steeped into cold spring water for a whole day. Perfect!”

“Wow,” was all Jimmy had to say, but I could see him stifling a laughter.

“Authentic Brazilian coffee and expensive vodka? You must be really high maintenance,” Clyde said, with a serious face.

“Yeah,” I said, winking. “As high maintenance as someone without a working AC unit, a leaking roof and a mostly unfurnished house can be.”

He smiled and I let Sadie drag me for a tour of the house. It wasn’t much to see, but she was really excited to find Clyde the Bear occupying half of my bed. To my embarrassment, I had to admit that I had gotten used to sleeping with the huge toy. It was a really good cuddle buddy and I had gotten into the habit of talking to it when I was feeling like the house was too empty. Yes, I was that pathetic.

Fortunately, Sadie was the only one to see it, and I was sure none of the adults would invade my bedroom without permission, so I would be spared the embarrassment. Unfortunately, my secret had been safe exactly one minute and twenty-five seconds, exactly how long it took Sadie to find her uncle and rat me out.

“What?” I replied to Clyde’s amused smile. “I’m basically five. I have no idea who let me be an adult.” If you have no plausible excuse, just run with it. Better than trying to deny it and fuel the teasing. “You lost a muffin for spilling my secret, little lady,” I said, pointing a finger at a laughing Sadie.

Clyde’s smile grew broader seeing that I wasn’t denying it, but it wasn’t a mocking smile. He was quite cute that Saturday morning, with his sleepy face and his messy hair that looked curlier than usually. There was still a tiny bit of his usual shyness, but it wasn’t as noticeable as before.

“Anything I can help you guys with?” I asked, when Jimmy returned from my garage with some more tools.

“Umm… no, not yet,” he said, scratching his head and looking at the roof. “We’ll call you if we need help.”

“Alright,” I said, turning to Sadie. “Do you wanna help me make muffins? I’m not sure I can do everything myself.”

She excitedly followed me to the kitchen. I had made some space the day before, moved the boxes to a corner of the living room, replaced the dining table with a smaller, foldable one I found in storage. Even with an energetic kid running around, there was less of a chance of any accidents happening. Or at least, I hoped. The memory of Clyde catching me in his arms was still pretty fresh in my mind.

To my surprise Sadie was really good at following directions and actually gave her best. I would have been able to make all the muffins in maybe a third of the time if I had done them at my own pace, but the point was to entertain her while her dad fixed my roof. I didn’t get to spend much time with kids while I lived in New York, since I’d been too busy surviving, but Sadie was such a good kid that I actually enjoyed it. She was quite talkative, telling me stories about her brothers, her mom and dad, about her school and about Clyde and Mellie, so by the time the first batch of muffins were in the oven, I felt like I had been part of the Logan family for ages.

Working in the kitchen ended up being a bit distracting, I found out pretty early on. After getting out all the necessary materials, they set up the ladder and Jimmy climbed into the attic, leaving Clyde on the ground to hand him things. Right in front of my kitchen window. I fought the urge to call my parents and curse them for designing the only entrance to our otherwise unused attic right in front of my window, so I’d be forced to watch Clyde Logan stretch as he handed tools to his brother, but I remembered that the house was built by my grandparents, and I’d need an Ouija board to contact them. But as time passed and my eyes kept darting to the man outside—whose t-shirt was juuust a bit too tight and his muscles just a bit too taut—I was actually considering Ouija-ing some carefully considered well-wishes to my ancestors. I did my best, however, to focus on something else.

If I were to be completely honest, if Sadie hadn’t been there to distract me from being too distracted by Clyde, I would have probably just pulled a chair in front of the counter, poured myself a perfectly brewed cup of iced coffee and indulged into staring out the window. I mean, that’s how a considerable amount of porn movies started: a hot dude fixing something, a horny woman leering at him and the rough sex that follows, I thought, absentmindedly fanning myself with a napkin, and it wasn’t because of the constantly increasing temperature in my kitchen.

“Do you like uncle Clyde?” Sadie asked, making me snap out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, don’t you?” I tried deflecting the question, turning around and opening the fridge. The cool air coming out of it was a blessing. I really needed to get some air conditioning installed as soon as possible.

“Yeah, but that’s not what I asked,” she giggled.

Of course not. “What did you ask, then?” Play dumb until they get bored, I thought to myself, however I had forgotten just how persistent kids could be.

“If you like like him,” she said in a serious tone.

“How do you like like someone?” Keep playing dumb.

“Oh you know,” she giggled once again and hopped of the chair coming next to me and the still open fridge. “You wanna go with them on dates, and hold hands, and kiss… and make babies and then get married and live happily ever after.”

Well, that escalated quickly. “In that order?” I asked, getting two sodas from the fridge and finally closing it, just as it started hysterically beeping at me.

Sadie shrugged as she took the can I handed her. “So do you like him?” she continued, making me almost choke on my drink.

“What makes you ask that?” I tried further deflecting the question, because kids should never be trusted with sensitive information, certainly not one as talkative as Sadie.

“You keep staring at him,” she laughed and I cursed myself for being caught red-handed.

“I don’t stare at him,” I lied, but I was sure it wasn’t very convincing. “I was just looking out the window, that’s all.” Sadie kept smiling and I shook my head. In the end it’s not like it was that big of a secret that I liked him. After all, he knew and he was the only one that mattered. But I didn’t really want her blurting it out in public and making it more awkward than it already was. “Okay, maybe,” I said, giving her a serious look. “But that’s gonna be our secret. If you tell anyone I’m gonna find out where you live, hide under your bed and tickle you right as you’re falling asleep,” I threatened, approaching her while wiggling my fingers in a pretty menacing way. “Promise?”

“Promise!” she giggled, trying to hide from my tickle attack.

“Okay, great! Do you want a sandwich?” I changed the subject. I was starting to think that

The Logans would age me prematurely. Not that I needed any help in that department.

I showed Sadie how to make some icing, just to keep her busy while I put together some sandwiches. She wanted a turkey ham one, with extra mayo and crusts cut off and I made it exactly as she wanted it. Cut it into quarters to make it easier to eat, but Sadie was really taking her whisking job seriously, so I resorted to feeding the pieces to her over the bowl.

I glimpsed out the window to see an amused Clyde watching me feed his niece, a big piece of my own sandwich sticking— pretty comically I assumed— out of my mouth, his hands full with what looked like some old wood. I shoved another piece of sandwich into Sadie’s mouth, swallowed what remained of mine and went to open the window. The boys had been working for quite some time, so I assumed they’d be hungry already. I knew I was, and the only thing I had done all morning was watch a kid paint my kitchen in muffin batter.

“Would you like to take a break? Grab something quick to eat?” I asked, leaning onto the counter, and trying to get my head out the window. He didn’t seem opposed to the idea, and after throwing the old wood in a pile of garbage, he climbed up the ladder to talk to his brother.

“Jimmy said he’s not hungry yet. Maybe later.”

“Are you hungry?” I pressed, because he really looked like he had skipped breakfast. While the cup of coffee I had given him earlier seemed to have woken him up, he still looked a little sluggish.

“A bit,” he shrugged.

“Ok, I’ll make you a sandwich and you can eat it while working,” I said and he nodded. “What would you like?”

“Anything is fine.”

I quickly put some things together, making something that was definitely not instagram ready, but it was pretty filling and I knew it would taste pretty good. Placed it on a plate and pushed it towards the open window.

Clyde had come down from the ladder, a new layer of dust and debris covering him. He had specks of dust caught in his hair and a dark smudge on his nose, like he had tried scratching it with dirty hands. He had to at least take a break and wash his hands, but Jimmy called him from the attic, needing something else. It seemed he wouldn’t be having a moment to spare.

I sighed and pulled back the sandwich, cut it into small wedges like I did with Sadie’s and grabbed a piece.

“Clyde, come here,” I called, extending my arm through the open window, once he was back on the ground. He looked at the dirt covering his hands and then at the piece of sandwich in mine. “Bite,” I said motioning to the food. He looked at it a little confused, but then smiled and came closer. He bent down to my level and took a tentative bite. “Put more strength into it, Logan,” I laughed.

I didn’t even try to keep a straight face, because a grown man, built like a brick shithouse eating out of my hand was both comical and surprisingly enticing. He was also laughing and I hoped he wouldn’t choke on the food, because I was sure I wouldn't be able to pull the Heimlich maneuver on him. He took another quick bite as Jimmy called his name again and his lips briefly brushed my fingers. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and I returned to the kitchen.

“Don’t laugh at us, young lady,” I said, pointing at Sadie with what was left of the sandwich, “we’re Adults.”

I had to quickly check on the muffins in the oven. They were done so I took them out, placed them on the cooling rack and shoved another batch in. By the time I was done, Clyde had returned and was hovering near the window. I hopped onto the counter to be able to reach better. I gestured for him to stick his head inside as I took another piece of sandwich and brought it to his lips. He was a little too enthusiastic taking a bite and accidentally nipped my finger.

“My fingers aren’t part of the meal, Logan,” I laughed, while Sadie climbed onto a chair next to me.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, and I could see a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“One!” I grinned, because now I wasn’t at a disadvantage anymore.

I took another piece of sandwich and shoved it into Sadie’s giggling mouth. By now I was sure that both of them could feed themselves, but it was just too funny to stop and both of them seemed to enjoy it.

“I’m your bird mama now,” I proudly announced, placing the last bits of food into the open and waiting mouths of my newly adopted baby birds.

A loud shriek coming from above made me jump off the counter, knocking over a glass that shattered on the floor. Clyde scrambled to remove himself from the window without breaking anything, and hurried to climb up the ladder only to be almost knocked down by a panicked Jimmy.

“What the fuck?” I breathed, completely forgetting that there was a child with me and I should have been watching my language. I grabbed Sadie and carried her over the shattered glass, hurrying to get out the door and see what was going on.

“Do you have bees or wasps in your attic?” she asked, and seemed a lot calmer than me.

“Maybe?” It was possible, I couldn’t deny it. “Is he allergic to them?” I asked, feeling a cold shiver run down my spine.

“No,” she giggled, and somehow that didn’t do anything to calm me down. “Just scared.”

I dropped the girl down on the grass and ran towards her father. Jimmy looked a little pale and his breathing was laboured, but didn’t look injured.

“What happened?” I asked.

“He got scared of some wasps, that’s what happened,” Clyde explained with a frown on his face, but I couldn’t tell if his tone was judgemental or not.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, placing a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “I had a team come over right after I moved here and they said they took care of any rodents or insects. They told me I had some wasps in the attic, but that they sprayed everywhere and removed the nests and that it shouldn't be a problem anymore. It’s my fault, I should have checked beforehand.” Now I realized just how stupid and unprepared I was. What if he was allergic and he had gotten stung. I didn’t really want to imagine what would have happened.

“No, no! It’s not your fault. I know there are wasps in attics, and I checked before starting work, but these… these just came out of nowhere and I panicked.”

“I’m so sorry, Jimmy,” I apologized again.

“He just needs a cold beer and he’ll be fine,” Sadie said, showing up out of nowhere with a beer bottle in her hand. She seemed really used to this situation, so it might have been a somewhat common occurrence.

“Thanks, Sadie-bug,” Jimmy said, taking the bottle from her hand.

“Hey, you shouldn’t go into the kitchen,” I said, frowning at her, suddenly remembering the broken glass. “There’s glass everywhere.”

“It’s okay, I jumped over it,” she smiled, incredibly proud of herself, completely ignoring the fact that she could have slipped and landed in the pile of shards. Yep, the Logans would be the death of me. I sighed.

“Well, y’all wait here while I go clean up and fetch the bug spray.”

“I’ll help,” Clyde offered, and I didn’t stop him.

As the day was getting hotter, so was my kitchen. With the oven running for so long, it was almost too much. I could feel beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead. Clyde seemed to be taking it even worse than me, but I almost expected it, with his fair skin and all. I considered opening another window, but at this point I knew it wouldn’t make any difference, since it seemed to be just as hot outside too. We’d have to suffer.

Clyde started sweeping the floor while I took the muffins out of the oven. Due to the whole commotion I had forgotten I had some in, but luckily I saw them in time, before they turned into a pile of charcoal. Sadie would have been sad. I kept glancing at Clyde as I moved around the kitchen. His t-shirt was quickly getting soaked, and I couldn’t stop looking at how it stuck to his broad back. Get a hold of yourself, you foul woman, I scolded myself and I started looking for the bug spray.

“Three,” he said as he caught me stealing another glance.

“What? No! Nope. It wasn’t said to you, it doesn’t count.”

“It does count.”

“No it doesn’t,” I said, pointing a finger at his nose. “Plus it was something I had to apologize for. Someone nearly died attacked by wasps.” I didn’t know why I was resisting, after all I just had to buy him a couple of drinks, and to be honest I wasn’t opposed to spending more time with him. I just didn’t want to lose at this stupid game we were playing.

“Well that’s why you have one apology a day,” he said in a serious manner. “Don’t waste it.”

“It wasn’t meant for you so it doesn’t count,” I insisted. “Unless you wanna follow me around to see just how many times I apologize to other people, you won’t be able to know for sure. And come on, don’t make it too easy,” I said, winking at him.

He stopped sweeping and looked at me for a few moments. “Alright,” he said, resigned, “it’s still one, then.”

I grinned and went back to looking for the can of spray. I found it by the time the floor was cleaned and both of us drenched in sweat. With the oven turned off and the window open, I was hoping it would eventually cool down, but there was no sign of that happening anytime soon.

I grabbed the can and went outside, Clyde following me closely. It was some type of industrial grade bug spray I had brought with me from New York. There’s nothing better than New York to teach you how to deal with a bug problem. I knew for a fact that it worked on wasps too, because I manually sprayed some before I called a team of professionals to deal with them.

That being said, I wasn't overly thrilled by the prospect of going into the attic to battle god knows how many angry wasps, but I had no choice.

“I can go up there,” Clyde offered, but I could see he wasn’t thrilled either.

“Nah, you’re too tall to fit in there,” I said. The attic was nothing more than a cramped space between the roof and the ceiling, it wasn’t big enough for Clyde to stand properly.

“But…” he objected.

“My house, my rules,” I cut him off and started climbing the ladder.

The only upside of this whole situation was that Clyde was getting a great view of my ass, as he held onto the ladder to stabilize it. I really hoped he was enjoying the view, because soon I’d probably come back down stung by wasps and doused in bug spray, which I suspected wasn’t such a great look on me. I climbed inside the attic and glanced down. By the light blush on his cheeks and his averted gaze I was pretty sure he’s enjoyed the view. Of course, it could have just been the heart, but it could also have been my ass.

I didn’t step inside as full of courage as I wanted, but at least there was no one up there to watch me cowardly look around for the stingers. The space was incredibly hot and full of dust and my throat and lungs didn’t like it one bit, but I kept as silent as I could so I would hear the wasps. Luckily, there was a big hole in the roof where Jimmy had started taking off the tiles, so there was more than enough light.

I found the culprits after a few minutes of searching. They were trying to build a new nest next to a beam, and I ruthlessly sprayed them before they could attack me. I felt sorry for them, but this was my house and they should have found a better place to invade. I took down the half built nest, as the exterminator had told me to do, and sprayed the spot where it had been attached.

I left the can next to Jimmy’s tools before climbing down. In case anything like this happened again, at least he had a weapon.

“All done,” I said, hopping down the ladder. I was greeted with some enthusiastic cheers. “How about we take that break now? I think the muffins have cooled down by now and they’re awaiting to be tasted.” More enthusiastic cheers. “I think I’ll bring the food outside, it’s a bit too hot and stuffy in the house. Sadie, wanna help me? There’s the hose, you can wash up if you want, or you can use the bathroom inside.”

I placed the food on paper plates and Sadie carried them outside one by one, hopefully without dropping anything on the ground. We placed a big blanket on the grass, because bringing out the table and chairs would be too much work and everyone decided it just wasn’t worth it. Sadie said it felt like a picnic and we just went along with that.

I came out with cold drinks and nearly dropped the bottles when I rounded the corner, because a shirtless Clyde dousing himself with the garden hose was really something I wasn’t expecting to see. The whole porn idea flashed through my brain again and I almost turned around and went back to the house but that would have been a bit too obvious, especially since Clyde turned his head and looked at me. I averted my gaze and hurried to the blanket.

Jimmy was grinning and I wanted to strangle him.

“Whatever’s behind that grin, I don’t wanna hear it,” I warned him and placed the bottles on the blanket, plopping next to him.

“I ain’t saying nothing!” He lifted his arms in a defensive gesture and opened a beer bottle, but the grin still plastered on his face scared me. So that wasn’t very reassuring.

“Well I can almost hear you thinking it.” I didn’t know what ‘It’ was, but I was scared.

“I don’t have to say anything, your blush speaks for itself,” he said, grabbing a sandwich, and I wanted to shove it down his throat whole so I’d be sure he’d keep his mouth shut, but Sadie reappeared from somewhere around the bushes and I knew better than to allow myself to be violent in front of a kid. For now at least.

However, he kept his word and didn’t say a thing while we ate, but he did snicker when Clyde joined us. He wasn’t shirtless anymore, thank heavens, because if he were I’d probably spontaneously combust, but his t-shirt was wet and stuck to his chest in all the right places and... okay, this wasn’t that much better. I did my best to focus on anything else for the remainder of the meal.

The food— and especially the muffins— had been very well received by the Logans and it made me really happy. It felt nice being appreciated and also it felt nice to be able to do something for the people who were giving up their free time to help me out. I was really lucky that someone cared enough for me to do that.

But I think what made me the happiest was Clyde’s confession that he hadn’t eaten muffins so tasty since the ones his mother used to make. It was sad that since she passed no one made them muffins anymore, so I promised I’d bake more for them if they agreed to build me another mailbox. With hand painted butterflies and all. Jimmy almost choked laughing and recounted the story in more (embarrassing) detail than Clyde had and by the time we finished eating, my jaws were hurting from laughing so hard.

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#clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x oc #logan lucky #clyde logan fanfiction

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goforwardgreenwriter-blog · 6 years

Text

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 32 - 33

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Aedion had been up half the night, debating the merits of every possible place to meet his father.

I am such a sucker for good parent/child relationships in fiction (extra bonus points if it’s adopted parents/child relationship) but honestly Assdion needs to stay the fuck away.

Beforehand Assdion put Lysandra to bet after she shifted back from some other form.

[Aedion] flipped back the crisp cotton sheets with one hand and then laid [Lysandra] down, her once-again long hair covering her high, firm breasts. So much smaller than the ones he’d first seen her with. He didn’t care what size they were—they were beautiful in both forms.

Uhhh does SJM not get how creepy this sounds? Lysandra is asleep and Aedion is staring at her boobs thinking about how beautiful they are?? God damnit SJM just stick to erotica if your characters are gonna be horny 24/7.

Lysandra made [Aedion] change out of his dirty travel clothes, barged into Aelin and Rowan’s room wearing no more than her own bedsheet, and took whatever she wanted from the Fae Prince’s armoire. Aelin’s barked Get out! was likely heard from across the bay, and Lysandra was smirking with feline wickedness as she returned, chucking the green jacket and pants at him.

This sounds like the beginning of a college fic where all the characters live in the same dorm. Not a fucking epic fantasy series constantly compared to LOTR. Tolkien must be rolling in his grave.

Dorian stirred, a cool breeze fluttering in as if his magic awoke as well, squinted at them both, then at the clock atop the mantel.

WHAT. Is this a medieval settings or not? The characters all use swords and bow and arrows and there’s hints of medieval Britain monarchies everywhere but the characters have clocks? What is this word building?

Gods, the females in his court ate more than [Aedion] did.

This is prompted after Lysandra eats breakfast. After we have already been told she burns a lot of energy with her shape shifting. Go fuck yourself, Assdion.

Aedion opened the door, finding the cadre precisely where he’d guessed they’d be at this hour: eating breakfast in the taproom. The two males halted as they entered. And Aedion’s eyes went right to the golden-haired man—one of two, but … there was no denying which one was … his.

I am actually so stressed. Either A) Aedion is gonna act like a dick to his poor father and be treated as right for it, or B) SJM is gonna turn Gav into a dick just so Aedion can angst over his daddy issues. Place your bets, folks.

“You look … ,” Gavriel breathed, sinking into his chair. “You look so much like her [Aedion’s mom].”

HHHHH SJM STOP I HATE THIS SHITTY BOOK AND ASSDION I DON’T WANT THESE FEELS....

“They could have cured [mama Aedion] in the Fae compounds, but she wouldn’t go near them, wouldn’t let them come for fear of Maeve”—[Aedion] spat the name—“knowing I existed. For fear I’d be enslaved to her as you were.”

I wish Assdion’s mom could’ve been a character, but nope, gotta kill off potentially awesome characters for the sake of main character pain. I know that’s just a thing that happens in 95% of stories at this point, but SJM literally only brings these dead characters up once or twice and it has no other impact on her main characters or the plot.

“I’m sorry,” his father said, those Lion’s eyes full of such grief Aedion wondered if he’d just struck a male already down. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” he said, turning toward the door.

Am I a dumb dumb, or... who the fuck is Assdion talking about? Is he talking about apologizing to.. Assdion’s mom? I’m so confused.

Assdion stomps out after his little tantrum. I mean, I understand why he’s upset, but... I need context? Was Gav forced to take the blood oath to Maeve, or was it his own choice? ‘Cause if it was the latter yeah he’s kinda a shitty dad, but if it’s the former, it’s not his fault??? This series is batshit confusing.

“We need them to work with us. I might have made an enemy of him.” [Lysandra] tucked her hair over a shoulder. “Trust me, Aedion, you have not. If you’d told him to crawl over hot coals, he would have.”

HHHH FUCK IT GAV IS A GOOD DAD..... I just feel so so sorry for him. He’s just a punching bag for everyone else. Protect Gav 2k18

He laughed, surprised he could even do so. “He’s a handsome bastard, I’ll give him that.” “I think Maeve likes to collect pretty men.” Aedion snorted. “Why not? She has to deal with them for eternity. They might as well be pleasant to look at.”

I mean a lot of those men have confirmed that they were forced to take the blood oath and are now basically slaves to her but sure, tee hee oh Maeve that slutty bitch, collecting only the hottest young men to enslave! Fuckin’ end me.

Bearing both Goldryn and Damaris for once, Aelin walked into the Sea Dragon two hours later and wished for the days when she could sleep without the dread or urgency of something pulling at her.

Greaaat, back to Alien’s POV.

A grand total of five minutes before Lysandra barged in, Rowan had awoken—and begun the process of awakening her, too. Slowly, with taunting, proprietary strokes down her bare torso, her thighs, accented with little biting kisses to her mouth, her ear, her neck.

EWWWWWWW if I wanted to read this shit, I’d go look up fanfiction. Preferably fanfiction with characters I’m endeared to and actually ship. Skip!

Gavriel and Fenrys were now sitting with Rolfe at the table in the back of the taproom, no sign of Aedion, both a bit wide-eyed as she swaggered in.

This is a nit pick but Gav/Fenrys always being described together irks me. They have the literal same reaction to everything. Like, are they doing this all in unison? Actually, that’s a pretty funny mental image.

Rowan took up a spot beside [Aelin] his knee brushing hers. Like even a few feet of distance was unbearable.

GDI. It’s a meeting. With a Pirate Lord. And all Rowboat can think about is getting his dick wet inside of Alien. I’m almost ready to tap out.

“What is this,” [Aelin] said, stabbing a finger near the main line of figures stretched across the middle of the continent. “It’s the latest report,” Rolfe drawled, “of the locations of Morath’s armies. They have moved into position. Aid to the North is now impossible. And they stand poised to strike Eyllwe.”

Ooo, action scene? Please action scene, I cannot handle any more scenes of these assholes being horny around one another.

Next chapter!

“Eyllwe has no standing army,” Aelin said, feeling the blood drain from her face. “There is nothing and no one to fight after this spring—save for rebel militia bands.”

Starts right where the last one left off, as per SJM’s protocol

Rowan said to Rolfe, “Do you have exact numbers?” “No,” the captain said. “The news was given only as a warning—to keep any shipments away from the Avery. I wanted their opinions”—a nod of the chin toward the cadre—“for handling it.“

??? Is it me or is this expression really fucking weird? Was “a nod of the head” not good enough?

“Why attack Eyllwe, though?” Fenrys asked. “And why move into position but not sack it?” [Aelin] couldn’t say the words aloud. That she’d brought this upon Eyllwe by mocking Erawan, because he knew who Celaena Sardothien had cared for, and he wanted to break her spirit, her heart, by showing her what his armies could do. What they would do, whenever he now felt like it. Not to Terrasen … but to the kingdom of the friend she’d loved so dearly.

Once again, we’re about to witness the destruction of a kingdom and all Alien cares about is her stupid feelings. Go fuck yourself Alien.

“You are the heir of the Mycenian people,” Aelin said. “And I have come to claim the debt you owe my bloodline on that account, too.” Rolfe did not move, did not blink. “Or were all the sea dragon references from some personal fetish?” Aelin asked.

SJM JUST USED THE WORD “FETISH” IN HER EPIC FANTASY SERIES. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

[Aelin] allowed a flicker of her magic to rise to the surface then, allowed the gold in her eyes to glow like bright flame. Gavriel and Fenrys straightened as her power filled the room, filled the city. The Wyrdkey between her breasts began thrumming, whispering.

I’m sorry, lovely readers, I keep ragging on about this, but holy fuck. I hate it so much. SJM wants this scene to be all epic and show what a special snowflake badass Alien is but then she undercuts all that supposed tension by drawing focus to her boobs I just. ajhdafdfagfds dj hdsa im b rea kin g

Alien lets loose some of her power that literally shakes the world and rings bells or some shit? idk i guess its 2deep4me

“What the rutting hell was that?” Rolfe at last demanded. Fenrys and Gavriel became very interested in the map before them. Rowan said smoothly, “Milady has to release bits of her power daily or it can consume her.”

ROWBOAT CONFIRMED FOR NICE GUY HOLY SHIT

Aedion and Lysandra arrived after some time—and her cousin only spared Gavriel a passing glance as he stood over the map and fell into that general’s mindset, demanding details large and minute. But Gavriel silently stared up at his son, watching her cousin’s eyes dart over the map, listening to the sound of his voice as if it were a song he was trying to memorize.

Gav deserves a better series than this. I want to take him, Manon, Darrow, and Rolfe away so they can be at peace. How does Darrow/Gavriel sound to everyone? Pure old dads who rule their kingdom fairly, bringing peace and prosperity forward. What a lovely image.

SJM described the meeting rather than shows. It’s basically 90% everyone gushing over how powerful Alien is. Skip!

“You once said I would pay for my arrogance. And I did. Many times. But Sam and I took on your entire city and fleet and destroyed it. All for two hundred lives you deemed less than human. So perhaps I’ve been underestimating myself. Perhaps I do not need you after all.” [Aelin] turned again, and Rolfe sneered, “Did Sam die still pining after you, or did you finally stop treating him like filth?”

Dick move, maybe, but I mean... he’s not wrong. The Assassin’s Blade is literally just Alien being pissy towards Sam for no reason and then he gets angry when their master beats lAlien’s face in (you know, what any normal functioning human being would react like) and she’s suddenly frothing at the mouth to fuck him. Maybe I should review TAB next.........

Rowboat chokes Rolfe and throws him down, and everyone smirks. How are these characters adults? They’re all written like immature teenagers. Anyways, a bell rings out, signifying something bad.

Aelin watched as black - darker than the ink that had been etched there - spread across [Rolfe’s] fingers, to his palms. Black such as only the Valg could bring.

Please action scene I can’t handle one more “witty’ “banter” conversation between these assholes

The door banged open, and Rolfe’s towering figure filled it. “You.” Aelin put a hand on her chest. “Me?”

Pfft. I hated that I snickered at this, but I always laugh at the “dramatic hand on chest” joke.

“And what of your idealism—what of that child who stole two hundred slaves from me? You’d leave the people of this island to perish?” “Yes,” she said simply. “I told you, Rolfe, that Endovier taught me some things.” Rolfe swore. “Do you think Sam would stand for this?” “Sam is dead,” she said, “because men like you and Arobynn have power. But Arobynn’s reign is now over.” She smiled at the darkening horizon. “Seems like yours might end rather soon as well.”

Sam deserves better than this. He was an okay guy to my memory - not a poisonous fuck boy like Rowboat.

“Eight warships teeming with soldiers —at least a hundred on each, more on the lower levels I couldn’t see. They’re flanked by two sea-wyverns. All moving so fast that it’s like storm winds carry them.”

FUCK YEAAAH SEA DRAGONS LETS GO

Rolfe finally breaks down and agrees to join Alien’s war effort. Love it when one of the few good characters is kicked and beaten down to prop up the despicable protagonist. Then we swap to Dorian’s POV.

Aelin was insane, Dorian realized. Brilliant and wicked, but insane. And perhaps the greatest, most unremorseful liar he’d ever encountered.

Dorian, honey, you okay? Blink twice if Alien is holding you captive.

This war would not be won on smiles and manners. It would be won by a woman willing to gamble with an entire island full of people to get what she needed to save them all.

Yeah, doesn’t that make Alien likeable! I know war involves sacrifice and death but Jesus, could she feel even a little remorse? Innocent people may die today but Aelin’s head is so far up her own ass she doesn’t even care.

Fenrys kept at a distance from the others, but Gavriel remained close, his gaze still fixed on his son. Gods, they looked so much alike, moved alike, the Lion and the Wolf.

Stop ittttt Gavriel deserves better.....

Aelin tells Dorian to stay behind and the chapter ends. God, that was a lot of bullshit in two chapters.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti tog #anti eos

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theotherwesley · 7 years

Text

Wesley Watches And Rates All The Faust Operas

You thought I was kidding, but here we are:

*I am not an expert, and my advice should never be followed. I am but a humble nerd with a passion, dragging you along on my youtube-tour. You probably shouldn’t quote me, but using this as a starting point and guide to this particular musical and literary phenomenon is encouraged! The information below was gleaned largely from wikipedia, vague memories of my BA degree, and my own assessment of the source materials.

My ratings are based on my subjective enjoyment, and a few preferential criterion such as: 1) Was Mephistopheles fuckable, 2) Did I get to see an orgy of witches, 3)Does Marguerite pass the Sexy Lampshade Test, and 4) Was Faust Dragged to Hell.

Preliminary Notes: originally, the legend of Doctor Faust came from the sixteenth century and was inspired by one man (or possibly two who were later conflated), Johann SpidersGeorg Faust, who was your average practitioner of Renaissance Magic. He was not an especially savory individual; he had racked up quite a criminal record and been boastful enough of his “christlike” abilities to heal the sick and perform miracles that he’d seriously annoyed the church. He was denied entry into a city due to accusations of Necromancy and Sodomy. Being an alchemist, Faust got up to some particularly adventurous chemistry experiments, the last of which failed so spectacularly that his lab exploded and the doctor was reduced to his component parts. His remains after death were so gruesome that his colleagues came to the obvious conclusion: He’d been personally dragged to Hell by Satan himself. AND THUS WAS A LEGEND BORN.

The story of Faust was told and disseminated in sixteenth century chapbooks (early printing-press zines, if you will) as a dramatic morality tale. It is from the chapbooks we originally get the character of Mephistopheles, the pact exchanging 24 years of service for the soul, the famulus named Wagner, the wild adventures through various courts, and the conjuration of Helen of Troy. Aside from in the chapbooks, there is one version of Chrisopher Marlowe’s play Doctor Faustus, where the titular character is torn asunder by demons as he is dragged to hell-- but unfortunately for me, a known B-movie horror enthusiast-- this ending appears in no subsequent retellings of the Faust legend. Cowards.

Goethe’s play Faust is obviously the most famous adaptation of the legend, and through it the legend turns from a cautionary tale to a story of hubris, love, faith, and philosophy. If you’re not already familiar with Faust, you might take a moment to read it or at least check out the act summaries. You’ll understand everything that references it a lot better if you do, even if you just read Part I (the second part gets a bit tedious unless you have a fetish for Herodotus and metaphysics-- but there’s a cute homunculus in a bottle! and talking sphinxes and griffons! and kinky rose petals! Angel butts!!!).

Armed with this knowledge, let the opera tour begin:

Faust (1816, Louis Spohr)

--The Libretto with English translation

--Playlist of the whole opera

It’s very pretty! The style and over-all sound reminds me of a Mozart opera, which, I guess, is not too surprising considering they were more or less contemporaries who trained and worked in similar circles. (Louis Spohr! He did collaborations with Beethoven! He invented the violin chinrest! Who knew! Not me! Anyway--) This Faust is not based on either Marlowe or Goethe’s Faust, but rather some miscellaneous adventures from the early Faust legends and chapbook pamphlets. In this version Faust ensnares a devil named Mephistopheles to his service, vowing to use his powers for the good of mankind. Great plan! That always goes well!

There’s a love potion, a flying cape, a duel with an outraged rival-- all the usual necessities for a Faust story, only now there’s not one but TWO young women screwed over by Faust’s philandering! (His first love, Röschen, and erstwhile damsel-in-distress, Kunilingus. ....*checks notes*, sorry, no, “Kunigunde”). Mephistopheles is cattily insightful, the wronged women team up to avenge themselves against their seducer, and yes, yes indeed, Faust Is Dragged To Hell!

The poetry of the libretto is quite pleasing, it’s got some great dialogue and epic fantasy sequences. Mephistopheles puts on show of infernal pyrotechnics with 17th century stage effects, all of them tremendous fire hazards. Someone gets dragged to Hell by a chorus of dancing goblins before Act 1 even finishes-- O my cup runneth over! We get the witches’ sabbath atop Mt Blocksberg, there’s a guest appearance by Sycorax, everyone gets real horny up there with a love potion, it’s great.

Mephistopheles seems to be on the ladies’ side in the story (as much as he’s on any human’s side), in that he cautions them not to trust Faust, and urges them on when they FREAKING TEAM UP AND GO TO SEEK VENGEANCE. Oh my god it’s so great. Kunigunde attacks Faust and Faust freaks out and tells Mephistopheles to save him and Meph is all “what’s that? I don’t know, suddenly I can’t read”. Meph is also the one doing all the actual rescuing of distressed maidens, at Faust’s behest. He views Faust’s attempts to break the laws of Love and Nature with contempt, knowing that Faust’s soul is on the fast track to Hell. There’s no actual pact here; Meph is the one being held hostage. He makes sure that Faust doesn’t enjoy any of the spoils of his sorcery, so Faust’s ennui and dissatisfaction remain the same as before he began his quest to “Use Hell’s Powers For Good”.

And just quick review of the scoreboard: Faust used his powers to do 1 (one) useful thing with his power before he ruined a bunch of people’s lives in quick succession, murdering Kunigunde’s betrothed and driving Rose to suicide. He still cries about it and the “rich seeds of Good he sowed” but Meph is having none of it and HE. DRAGS. THAT. BOY. TO. HELL!!!!!!! EXEUNT.

Rating: 4/5 Stars. Better than expected! I want a revival of this version! With stabbing! And special effects! Mephistopheles is truly doing the Lord’s work here, no offense to his demonship. Lost some points with me for being so very, very heavy on the pining and lovesick maidens, but won me back when the lovesick maidens picked up daggers.

Faust and Marguerite (1855, Lutz) and Faust up to Date (1888, Lutz)

Straight up can’t find this one! But this early silent film short is apparently based on it? IDK folks, if you have a recording of this you’d like to share with me, I’d be delighted to hear it.

As for the burlesque, I suspect it hasn’t actually been performed since 1888. But the music is pretty cute! The Pas de Quatre, aka “Skirt Dance” seems to be the only track that’s stuck around. Here it is played on an old disc music box.

Rating: ???

La damnation de Faust (1846, Berlioz)

--Libretto in French and English

--La Damnation de Faust with Jonas Kaufmann --I like this one because Faust is super duper cute and this Mephistopheles reminds me of an OC makes yellow work.

--This is the first of what I’m called The Big Three Faust Plays; all modeled after Goethe’s Faust specifically, written within roughly ten years of each other, and which feature the most well-known arias that I’m aware of.

This opera positively reeks of Romanticism; it’s got Byron out the ears, it’s wading through Wordsworth, it’s doing the Grand Tour, it’s gazing mournfully from the top of Mont Blanc, contemplating Nature and the Human Spirit. It’s Berlioz, buckle up.

The beginning is obviously Faust wallowing in ennui. He considers suicide, but is interrupted by a timely reminder of Christianity. Suddenly the devil appears in order to take advantage of a soul precariously teetering on the edge between redemption and damnation. In this version, the devil does not announce himself as the devil, but rather as the ~Spirit of Life~, here to show Faust the joys of the world. (There’s no pact at first, Meph is just “get in bitch we’re going debauching” and Faust’s like “aight” and they’re off.) The devil takes Faust on a fun tour of life’s noteworthy attractions such as “Drunk Student Karaoke”, “Dancing Gnomes”, and “A Nice Forest Nap”.

During his magical nap Faust sees a vision of Marguerite (later we learn she has simultaneously dreamed of Faust) and falls in love. He awakes with the usual boner for this Maiden of Radiant and Humble Virtue who Nature Hath Sheltered In Perfect Simplicity, because that’s always a big turn-on. Meph steers the course of their interactions very carefully, using magic and fairies and wisps to enchant the couple’s surroundings to ensure they are surrounded by romantic atmosphere the whole time. Once they’ve gotten into some heavy necking, he bursts in and tells them that the whole town is coming with pitchforks and also someone’s told the girl’s mother and they’re in big trouble. Faust flees.

Everyone does some quality Pining, Faust sings a sad song about Nature, and then Meph shows up again saying “hey I hope this doesn’t put a damper on our vacation, but Marguerite is in prison for murder and she’s going to be executed BUT QUICK, ACT NOW AND WE CAN SAVE HER for just one quick easy payment of your immortal soul” and Faust is just like “WHAT WHERE WHO WHAT UH FINE YES SURE OKAY SHIT, WOW, LET’S GO” and Meph is >:))) and they jump on their horses and ride off to go save her except OOPS, NO THEY DON’T because actually they are RIDING INTO THE WAITING JAWS OF HELL!!!! NYAK NYAK NYAK NYEEEEEHHHHH!!! Faust burns for eternity, Marguerite goes to heaven, curtain.

Rating: 3.5/5 Look, I’m not saying I’m biased, but Mephistopheles doesn’t even show up until half an hour into the opera, okay? I find this one hard to sit through even though the music is really delightful; and I do mean it is gorgeous music. Between the two famous mocking serenades, “Devant la maison” shoots “Vous quid faites l’endormie” right out of the water; all the chorus pieces are fantastic; the Hungarian March is a great instrumental piece; Faust actually has some decent arias for once (rarer in each subsequent opera), and there is Brander’s wonderfully irreverent Rat Song... I think the reason this doesn’t hold my attention as much as other versions is that the plot is very meandering and the characters don’t have concrete motivations; they’re sad teenagers in love, I guess? And the devil tricks them? This whimsical aspect is 1000% part and parcel of the Romantic Aesthetic I realize, but personally I came for a recognizable story and got mostly pastoral vignettes. We spend half the opera listening to Frolicking Peasants and Men At Arms. Mephistopheles just hops out of the woodwork to play a dirty trick on a random guy getting his Byronic Mope on. There’s no pact, no soul-signing until the very end, and it’s just a plain ol’ tricky trap, not a device to punish hubris or moral crimes. I’m even reluctant to give this its rightful Dragged To Hell points because out of all the Faust scenarios, this is the one where he seems to deserve it the least! He doesn’t actually do anything bad! It’s not satisfying if he’s dragged to Hell for no reason! Pfui. However, points gained back for the made-up Satanic babble sung by infernal chorus at the end.

Faust (1859, Gounod)

--Libretto in French and English

--1995 Adaptation with Samuel Ramey as Mephistopheles You already know I’m a slut for Samuel Ramey playing the devil in any capacity so I’ll spare you my gushing play-by-play of his performance. The quality of this video is.... not great. I apologize. I still love it, but you’re going to want to find a clearer recording of the music if you want to get the most out of this opera.

--2011 Adaptation with Paul Gay as Mephistopheles (Warning: this version is quite lurid and includes some staging choices that I find pretty uncomfortable-- I can’t decide if the director is consciously trying to highlight predatory sexism as a bad thing or if it’s just kind of included to make things seem ~spicy~. Anyway, it’s otherwise a high quality production with an interesting set design, just be warned that there’s some on-stage grossness. Also, a hilariously bad decapitated head prop! --to accompany a truly baffling ending. To its credit, the death of Valentin was genuinely pretty moving and made me feel... er, well, anything about the character. Tassis Christoyannis’s made that aria memorable, which is more than I can say of other productions.

Second of the Big Three!

Gounod introduces a more complete cast of characters borrowed from Goethe’s Faust to flesh out the the story and setting; we meet Wagner the student, a regiment of soldiers including Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, and their young friend Siebel (a pants role-- which immediately endears me to this character because I’m a ~big ol’ queer~). Later we meet Marguerite’s nosy old neighbor, Martha, who is REAL thirsty for Mephistopheles and who I relate to very much.

This opera follows Goethe’s Faust- Part I much more closely than its predecessor, and where it does not follow the original, it diverges in favor of making the story more engaging and streamlined. There is WAY LESS pining into the aether, and more sword fights. The larger cast of named characters makes for more interactions, which in turn makes for more memorable moments on stage, better dialogue, a comprehensible timeline of events, and more concrete motivations for everyone.

A SUMMARY: Faust’s pact in this version has nothing to do with the philosophical wager seen in Goethe, but is simply an exchange of his soul for returned youth. He is old, he’s spent his life studying, he wants to be young and full of passion again. He seals the deal after the devil offers him a vision of Marguerite, whose sight is so inspiring and lovely that Faust is overcome with desire for her alone. They go to find her, encountering on the way a regiment of students and soldiers, one of whom is Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, who is going off to war leaving his sister in the care of young Siebel. Getting Marguerite to stop and talk to Faust proves difficult since she is so pure and virtuous that A) Mephistopheles has no power over her, and B) she’s wary of the compliments of strangers. Faust gets Mephistopheles to bring her a case of jewels to warm her up to him, then Mephistopheles concocts a ruse to distract her nosy neighbor Martha and give them an excuse to meet Marguerite (shenanigans ensue). The ploy works, Marguerite is seduced, and in love with Faust. Cut to some time in the future, when Oh No Everything Has Gone Horribly Wrong; Faust has gone away and left Marguerite pregnant and unmarried, she is shunned by society with the exception of Siebel, meanwhile her brother has come home from the war to find her in a disgrace. Faust and Mephistopheles eventually return, but encounter an enraged Valentin who duels Faust to avenge his sister’s honor. Faust, of course, uses Mephistopheles’s magic to cheat, and Valentin is fatally stabbed. With his dying breaths, he curses his sister and blames her for his death, since he died defending her honor-- the people who witness this are rightfully aghast that he’d use his last moments to denounce his own sister-- and rightly so, because that’s a real dick move. Faust flees, and Marguerite is left on her own with no support and a newborn child to care for. She seeks refuge and forgiveness in the church, but finds she cannot pray, haunted by voices and cursed by Mephistopheles himself, as he whispers in her ear, promising damnation. She faints, and is presumably driven mad. Cut to Faust, who is being treated to a front-row seat of Walpurgisnacht. During the revels he sees another vision of Marguerite, this time of her in chains and awaiting execution for the murder of her child. Mephistopheles grudgingly takes Faust to see her in prison, where he tries to rescue her. In her fevered state she will not leave, wanting Faust to instead stay with her in the cell. During the delay, she sees Mephistopheles and finally puts two and two together, knowing a devil when she sees one, and understanding that Faust is not only responsible for her suffering but also in league with infernal powers. She pushes him aside, rejects him, and throws herself instead on the mercy of God, choosing death and redemption over being rescued by the man whose affections ruined her. Mephistopheles ruefully pronounces her condemned, but a voice from Heaven pronounces her Saved. Faust watches in awe as Marguerite’s soul ascends to Heaven, and he is left alone and presumably damned.

Why is this framing of the story significant? Because it’s about her. Faust is only an instrument; his soul is not especially remarkable, he might have been damned without any devil to encourage him.

But Marguerite’s soul was untouchable to Mephistopheles; he puts a vision of her before Faust for a reason. We don’t waste any time bemoaning Faust’s moral downfall; Faust is not the one seeking redemption at the end of the opera. Faust is a means to an end, and that end is leading an otherwise spotless soul into perdition.

This opera has Mephistopheles at his most sinister, his most manipulative; he is the one driving Marguerite deeper into misfortune, who isolates her, mocks her, whispers condemnation into her ear her until she doubts everything. Desperate, without support and seeing no way forward, no future for herself or her child, Marguerite kills her baby, or is led to do so by Mephistopheles. Without a doubt, this has been the devil’s plan all along, and with Marguerite now branded a murderess, he thinks he’s won. But Faust, despite taking no responsibility for his actions, nevertheless feels pity and remorse at her misfortune, and goes to rescue her--and this gives Marguerite the chance to finally see what he is.

She rejects him; she does not choose love, she does not choose to live or be rescued by the forces that ruined her in the first place. She stays, renews her faith, and thwarts Mephistopheles’s best efforts to damn her. This is not about a man's hubris; it is about Marguerite escaping the devil and saving herself on her own terms. That’s why I find this version to be poignant.

Some musical highlights: “Le veau d’or” (the golden calf)-- if not my favorite of Mephistopheles’s ballads then in the top three, particularly because it lends itself to some flamboyant acting; Marguerite’s “Ballade un roi de Thulé” (the king of Thule) is absolutely haunting; and "Seigneur, daignez permettre", aka The Church Scene is fucking incredible-- the juxtaposition of Marguerite’s pleas and the choir’s Dies Irae, the echoing church organs in the background, Damnation seeming to gain a voice of its own to summon her... it’s some real Eyes-of-Notre-Dame Hellfire shit.

Rating: 5/5! A perfect score! Gounod wins the first place ribbon. Though he beats Boito’s “Mefistofele” (up next) on several key points, I want you to know that my personal bias will probably always be in favor of “Mefistofele” on account of being a ho for the titular character. --But Gounod’s is the better opera, fair and square. “Faust” has the most comprehensive storyline, the most memorable arias, and the best (I think) balance of both humor and poignance. I will give this version the benefit of a Dragged to Hell point even though we don’t actually get to see the final deed. The Walpurgisnacht scene does exist as a ballet, so I’ll still give it the points even though it gets cut out of most productions for length (sometimes the ballet is performed as a stand-alone event). Additionally, he scores most favorably on the Marguerite > Sexy Lampshade scale-- this is a story about her more than it’s about Faust or Mephistopheles, and I’m here for that.

Thank you Mr. Gounod, you may retrieve your Incredibly Prestigious Award from my blog after the ceremony.

Mefistofele (1868, Boito)

--Libretto in Italian and English

--HERE IT IS, MY FAVORITE ONE, MY FAVORITE MEPHISTOPHELES, SAMUEL RAMEY, MOSTLY SHIRTLESS, FLIPPING OFF GOD AND LIGHTING A CIGARETTE ON STAGE IN HIS MATCHING CHERRY-RED TAILCOAT AND VIOLIN CASE 1989 (WHICH IS THE YEAR OF MY BIRTH, NO COINCIDENCE, I THINK)

--Oh, fun fact! The opera scene in Batman Begins is the chorus from the witches sabbath. If you thought it sounded familiar, this might be why.

Anyway. This is the third of the Big Three most-referenced Faust operas!

Unlike its predecessors, Mefistofele covers both part I and part II of Goethe’s Faust, starting with the seduction of Marguerite and moving on to serenading Helen of Troy and finally with Faust’s redemption. The first part of the opera is very similar to Gonoud’s Faust, but first there is a Prologue, which is taken pretty much directly from Goethe. And oh my god, is the Prologue hilarious. We encounter Mephistopheles, the titular character, on his way to work-- or more just loitering around in the aether as one does when one is bored and immortal and humanity is going on sinning with or without you, when he stops to greet the Lord God in passing, all satirical charm and sarcasm. God, very graciously, does not ask him whether he has anything better to do, but instead inquires if he knows Faust.

“Oh yeah, that guy. Neck beard, likes science, big fan of yours. Sure I’ve heard of him,” says Meph. “Hey, you seem like a betting man--”

“Um,” says God.

Meph continues; “I bet I can tempt him into sinning and thus damn his immortal soul to Hell!”

God agrees-- because God already knows the future and thinks this will be a fun way to build character.

A choir of angels descends and Mephistopheles gets grossed out, sprays them with insect repellent, and leaves. (I am paraphrasing).

The next few scenes are pretty familiar; Faust laments his ennui, a chorus of peasants and students celebrate a festival, Faust is on the cusp of a revelation that Jesus is neat, but is interrupted by the devil. The devil introduces himself, offers Faust his services on earth if Faust agrees to serve him in Hell after death.

Faust, who seconds ago was ready to devote himself to a life of holiness, sayeth “yolo” and they shake on it, with the condition that Mephistopheles can reveal to him one moment of such surpassing joy and beauty that Faust will wish for it to last forever-- thereupon Faust consents to being dragged immediately to Hell. Because pssh, that’s later and who cares about later?? They hop on Mephistopheles’s magic cape, and fly off to have adventures. CUT TO: Faust seducing Marguerite and Mephistopheles distracting her nosy neighbor Martha. THEY KISS, FAUST LEAVES, HE GOES TO A PARTY ON MT. BROCKEN. HE SEES A VISION: MARGUERITE IN PRISON! QUICK, TO THE RESCUE! BUT NO, SHE REJECTS HIM, HER SOUL IS SAVED, SHE DIES-- Wait, what? I hear you ask-- She just got here, she wasn’t even introduced, now we’re skipping to the end? The answer is: yes. Yes, you’re just supposed to know what’s going on already.

To be fair, Faust operas are the Spiderman remakes of the nineteenth century; there’s a new one coming out every ten years or so, Goethe is required reading, everyone is writing Faust fanfiction-- no one is wondering who the girl is or how they met or is wondering if they’ll kiss or not. Everyone knows the plot already, it’s fine.

BUT THIS ISN’T THE END! No indeed! Now we are on a tour of PART II of Goethe’s Faust! You know, the part you skipped! Don’t worry, Boito isn’t making the entire metaphysical play into an opera, just the juicy bits with Helen of Troy. Marguerite is instantly and completely forgotten-- this is now a Helen/Faust one-shot, which Mephistopheles is forced to watch with annoyance.

CUT TO: Faust’s old laboratory from Act 1, where he is on the brink of death, lost in a reverie of all the good times he’s had. Mephistopheles is hovering over him, tapping his wristwatch and reminding Faust of his past loves and glories, incredulous that Faust hasn’t yet found his One True Moment™.

Faust just sighs and says “gee, I guess the REAL happiness was the good I could have done along the way but absolutely didn’t!” and God busts in through the ceiling with a HALLELUJAH and Mephistopheles is like “oh don’t you dare, don’t you fucking-- THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD, ALL THE SEXY LADIES I GOT YOU TO MEET! AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU AS YOUR WINGMAN--” and Faust faceplants into the bible and goes straight to Heaven. Meph is left spitting in defiance as he sinks into the earth. THE END.

Why this framing is significant: The way Boito has arranged and cropped the scenes makes this story very much center around Mephistopheles. While Berlioz’s Faust was about the suffering of a young man for love, and Gounod’s was about the victory of Marguerite over Hell, Boito’s opera is about the humorous tragedy of Mephistopheles, whose endeavor was rigged to fail from the onset.

Faust doesn't end up in Hell in Goethe's version, and I accept this because Mephistopheles lost his bet on a technicality: the Moment™ Faust wished to prolong was not provided by Mephistopheles, it was caused by his sincere desire to do a last bit of good in the world, coming to the conclusion (after being made blind by the goddess of Care) that benefiting mankind is what brings one happiness, not knowledge or fleeting pleasures. It wasn’t that he suddenly found Christ or gave himself over to God, as the opera implies, but because he finally realized the worth of striving to do good, and fond a source of platonic love within himself, which makes his soul redeemable despite his pact with the devil. So Goethe gives us a humanist, philosophical explanation for Faust's redemption..... BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY-- he has Mephistopheles lose Faust's immortal soul because he's Too Fucking Horny For An Angel Boy’s Ass. (I know when I’m being pandered to.)

Unfortunately, Boito misses the whole philosophical trajectory of Goethe’s Faust and reduces it to a simple morality-play where a sinner is saved on his deathbed merely by acknowledging the hereafter. He doesn’t suffer blindness, he doesn’t actually DO anything good in his last hour, he just repents and decides Heaven is real after all at the last possible second before kicking the bucket. It would be disappointing, IF that were the point of the story. But that’s not where the drama is!

Like Gounod’s Faust, the focus was never really on the doctor at all; his redemption is not what we paid to see. It’s Mephistopheles’s reaction to losing Faust’s soul that makes the ending interesting, not the fact that Faust gets a free pass to Heaven.

Highlights of this version: It’s fucking hilarious, and Mephistopheles is the star of the entire show. His arias are in turns sinister and sardonic, playful and powerful. The dialogue is taken directly from Goethe’s Faust in most cases (translated into Italian obviously), and hey, the dialogue in Goethe is really funny and good and witty! Hard to go wrong!

“Ave Signor” (Hail, Lord!) is such a terrific opener; there will always be something delightful about the idea of the devil conversationally sassing God and daring to make a bet with the Almighty in the spirit of work-place rivalry. “Son Lo Spirito Che Nega Sempre Tutto” (I Am the Spirit That Denieth All Things) is full of dark bravado and rebellion, whistling defiance at the Lord. It’s a great Villain Song and as someone with sympathy for the devil it is completely my jam. “Ecco Il Mondo” (Behold the World) is both teasing and menacing and the staging lends itself to some glorious melodrama. “Ah! Su! Riddiamo, riddiamo” (Turning, turning) gets a prize for being the best infernal chorus and witches’ sabbath scene out of all of them-- it’s frenzied and spooky and satanic and whirling, everything you could want from an orgy of infernal creatures. Ten out of five stars, would exalt Satan to again.

Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars. Second place prize, and Honorable Mention for being the judge’s favorite. It’s not perfect. The story leaves much to be desired-- let’s face it, Part II of “Faust” isn’t especially... dynamic on its own, and especially when condensed to fit into opera format, the events don’t add up into a satisfying narrative. Boito glosses over some frankly essential elements in the original and just has Faust skip right from his life-ruining adultery to being carried to Heaven on the backs of angels-- just for thinking of all the good he *could* have done if he hadn’t been, you know, a real stinker this whole time. So I’m not giving Boito a pass for omitting Faust’s Hell Dragging. Furthermore, this play is woefully short on Marguerita; she basically just shows up to be seduced and then a second later is Ruined and Saved. Booo.

But hey-- is this play called “Faust”? Is this play called “Faust and Marguerita”? No. This play is called motherfuckin’ “Mefistofele”, because it’s about Mephistopheles. It’s about our suave, under-appreciated servant of Hell working hard for his cut, trying and squeeze just ONE life-altering moment out of this absolute dehydrated turd of a man, and the play is rife with his frustration. He is the one who whistles in defiance of God, and he loses because it is *inevitable* that he loses. God was never going to let him win that bet; Meph was a tool in his ultimate design to shepherd Faust closer to redemption. Mephistopheles is dragged off stage whistling in defiance as a lifetime’s worth of effort is flushed down the drain in a single moment of seemingly undeserved redemption. Not for a *solitary second* did we want this opera to be about Faust. No. This is the devil’s opera, and that’s why it’s so fucking great.

Doktor Faust (1916–25, Busoni)

--Adaptation with Thomas Hampson 2006

--Libretto in German and English

...And now, a German libretto written by an Italian, in contrast with Boito’s Italian libretto translated from German.

God, this is such a modern ass Modern Opera. It does that thing I hate that modern operas do where the composer is like “What? You wanted a ~melody~? What is this, musical theater??” Like obviously they’ve transcended the need for anything so plebeian as a tune I can fucking hum. It’s very Intellectual, very High Art. The plot is full of tortured genius manpain, naval gazing, and I can’t remember a single aria from it. ...Okay, that’s a bit harsh; in the final two scenes Faust gets some lovely melancholy solos that actually stuck out to me. But this is a three hour long opera. So. Maybe skip ahead.

Plot-wise, this is the most existential of the bunch. No Marguerite in this one, just a Duchess with no name. Faust still ruins his lover’s life but in his final act he rejects both God and the Devil and uses his Supreme Human Will to transfer his life-force into his dead child’s body, resurrecting him as a young man with a blossoming frond of some kind. (Symbolism!!!)

--This marks the full 180 turnaround from “Faust is forcibly dragged to hell by Satan himself and his body explodes all over the stage” to “NOT ONLY IS FAUST REDEEMED OF HIS SINS BUT HE TRANSCENDS BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL WITH THE INDOMITABLE FORCE OF HIS HUMAN WILL, GOD IS DEAD, FAUST IS THE ÜBERMENSCH”, and to that I say *ptttttttbbbbbbbb*.

Rating: 1/5 stars. Plot is ponderously philosophical, overweighted with symbolism, and the music, while interesting, is largely forgettable with a few exceptions. Also it is Three Goddamn Hours Long. Points lost for nameless female character who fails the Lampshade Test. Loses further points for a dry and flavorless Mephisopheles, boooo.

The Rake's Progress (1951, Stravinsky)

--1992 production with Jerry Hadley and OH LOOK WHO IT IS IT’S SAMUEL RAMEY AGAIN HUH WELL DON’T MIND IF I DO this production is really, really well acted and funny and the dance portions are especially cool.

--Libretto in English and Italian

Another modern opera, this time by a composer I actually like!

Now, this isn’t technically a Faust opera; its based on a series of delightfully comedic prints by William Hogarth, detailing the decline and fall of a young man who inherits a huge sum of money, spurns his true love, and wastes his inheritance on foolish ventures and hookers, eventually ending up insane in Bedlam (I’m not saying tertiary syphilis, but definitely tertiary syphilis-- Let us take a moment to appreciate both condoms and penicillin.)

In the original paintings there is no deal-making devil, but but luckily he’s been added in by librettist W.H. Auden (who was intermittently friends and lovers with Christopher Isherwood!!!!-- I just wanted to add that because it makes my gay little heart very happy). The names are all vaudevillian puns, such as “Tom Rakewell”, “Anne Trulov”, and “Sellem, the Auctioneer”. Mephistopheles has been exchanged for the slick, modern Nick Shadow.

Highlights of this version: Baba the Turk, the bearded lady that Nick convinces Tom to marry as a demonstration of his free will (???). Listen: I know she’s meant to be comic relief and is an unflattering stereotype, but dang if she didn’t win my heart completely. I like that her marriage with Tom apparently falls apart, not necessarily because she’s a bearded lady, but because she’s just very chatty and overbearing and is much better traveled than Tom, and has had numerous wealthy and important suitors who she won’t shut up about. She’s knows her own worth and conducts herself accordingly, and is very vocal when she knows she’s being treated badly. She’s got Anne’s back when they meet at the auction of all Tom’s property (which she was included in as an object because she was under a spell of silence and immobility-- rude), telling her to watch out for Nick Shadow and generally being very forgiving and understanding about the whole affair; she was hurt that Tom lied about his affections, but she doesn’t blame Anne for it, which is wholesome. Then she announces that she’s going back to her career on the stage because she is BABA and she has had enough of these scrubs. Anyway. I love her. She’s described very beautifully if you happen to like beards, which I do (and so did the author).

“No Word From Tom” reminds me why I love Stravinsky so much (and Dawn Upshaw sings it like a nightingale). “Lanterloo My Lady” is spritely and fun and texturally interesting; besides, “sweet dreams my master, dreams may lie, but dream-- for when you wake you die” is chill-inducing. “How Dark and Dreadful is This Place” plus the whole card game in the cemetery is sad and grim and comical all at the same time; Tom is such a pathetic and naive mess you can’t help but feel sorry for him, even while Nick’s smugness is delicious. Tom’s mad songs are all quite touching and beautiful.

Rating: 4/5 stars. The libretto is really excellent, jazzy, full of great wordplay and aphorisms. Nick is a delightful Mephistopheles; thoroughly modern, witty, sly, arch, fourth-wall breaking. Faust is not dragged to hell, but he is condemned to insanity. Loses points for a female lead whose entire purpose in life is to babysit this asshole through his poor life decisions. Also, while certainly more memorable and melodic than Busoni’s Faust, it still has that sort of shouty modern opera sound that I find a little challenging to listen to; but that said, the music fits the plot, and the plot is fun and absorbing, so while there may be fewer individual arias I’m likely to put on my jogging playlist, it’s engaging to watch as a production from start to finish.

--Okay! That’s it! I know, I know, this isn’t actually a review of every Faust opera to date, but I have to get back to my life, and you already know my feelings on modern and contemporary opera. Thank you for bearing with me for this entire novel-length post that literally no one asked for!! You’re a the real hero here! I love you almost as much as I love Samuel Ramey in tights. *stage kiss* Yours in Service Here but in Mine Below, ~Wesley

#Faust Tag #Wesley's Opera Hour #Faust #Mephistopheles #lifeblogging #long post #Phew! This took a million years to write but it's done and I'm happy!

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