#that is the worst tag ive ever made thank you

[hexados-on-a-string]

i had to rewatch this episode of mechtanium surge again just to see if this actually happened and wasnt some sort of fever dream. and it was real. why are they like this.

[izzy-b-hands]

im sitting here, first edible of the day kicking in, and i just realised i haven't been yelled at for picking my lips in months. im safe here, i can stim like that and Housemate doesn't care and that's

really really lovely. wish I'd realised it sooner!

[pepperonijem]

iv. 'til there was you || to.you

"There was love all around, but I never heard it singing... 'til there was you."

summary: Levi finally knows what to call this feeling that bubbles up in his chest whenever you're around and he's decided he's going to tell you. eventually. at some point. maybe. pairing: Levi Ackerman x gn!reader content: cursing songs mentioned: 'til there was you - imaginary future

A/N: ... i had to split it AGAIN. anyway, here's a chapter full of Levi. also, the song is originally from the musical The Music Man, but I really like this cover. Very coffee shop vibes. I really enjoyed writing Levi's dynamic with Hange. One of my fave chapters lol.

let me know if you'd like to be tagged! comments and rb's are appreciated :)

previous chapter || masterlist || next chapter

Levi remembered something his mother had told him once, that paranoia ran through their bloodline. He remembered that he rolled his eyes at her then, and told her that was ridiculous.

But right now, sitting beside you, he couldn’t help but feel that he was being watched. Well, he knew he was definitely being watched. The question was why.

The cafe was busier than usual, and you and Levi found yourselves in the midst of all the other notebooks and laptops and students, all frantically studying for end of term exams. Even with all the sounds of laptop keyboards clicking, espresso machine whirs, and idle chit-chat, the sound of his name from a table over had piqued his interest.

He couldn’t make out everything being said, but he could pinpoint the source of the sound. Eren Jaeger and his friend Jean were arguing. About him. He tried to keep his focus on anything else. The article he was reading on his laptop, his finger tracing over the rim of his mug of tea, you. 

He looked over to see your brows furrowed as you wrote something in your notebook. It was odd, he thought, that you wrote with your paper nearly horizontal. He looked at your own coffee cup, empty now, and made a mental note to himself to go and place an order for a refill once he’d finished his own. Something about that thought, Levi realized, felt incredibly domestic in a way that set forth a warmth in his chest that rivaled the mug in his hands. 

It was new to him, this feeling, but it wasn’t unwelcome. In fact, since writing that song and playing it for you last week, he found himself in gentle pursuit of it. 

After he rushed out of the practice room that day, Levi felt his heart pound heavily in his ribcage, like he had just run a marathon. Once he had arrived at Hange’s place, he was almost relieved that everyone else was late for band practice. 

“Hange, there’s something wrong with me,” the desperation in his voice surprised him. He found himself feeling anxious, worried Hange would take the opportunity to tease him in his obviously vulnerable state. He watched Hange with helpless eyes as they stepped away from their keyboard to sit on the couch and invited Levi to sit down. 

They looked at him, as if searching for something. After what felt like minutes, they wordlessly stood up to make him a cup of tea, and Levi was thankful even if he knew Hange had the worst taste in tea. His fingers wrapped tighter around the warm mug in his shaking hands. They sat back down and faced Levi with an expression he rarely ever saw: calm, gentle… serious. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate,” they said, leaning forward on their knees.

The intensity of Hange’s gaze almost made Levi consider making a run for it. The vulnerability made him feel too exposed. But with a sigh, he grabbed the worn leather notebook from his coat pocket and flipped with one hand to his most recent song, handing it to Hange without a word. 

They raised an eyebrow at him. He was well aware that this was the first time he had ever really let anyone look into his notebook, to see his thought process before a song was fully polished. Usually, by the time the band started practicing his songs, the chords and lyrics were all neatly typed onto a single page or two.

His notebook was messy. It was full of scribbles and crossed out words and unfinished lines. Every so often there’d be jagged remnants of a page torn out in frustration. Words were written upside down, crammed in margins, in every font Levi’s hand somehow managed. It wasn’t the clean, well-kept, no funny business that people had come to expect. That he’d come to expect from himself. 

“Jesus, Levi, have you considered writing in pencil?” Hange muttered with a small huff.

“Shut up, four eyes.” Levi shot back, without any real bite behind his words. He felt himself relax a little bit at the normalcy of Hange’s teasing. His fingers drummed against the rim of his mug as he waited for Hange to finish reading. He watched nervously and felt his heart spike every time their eyebrow quirked up or they tilted their head in thought. It was only one page, but Levi felt as if he just handed them his entire soul.

When they finally spoke, they spoke softly but not gently. “Levi, if you like them just go and fucking tell them.” 

Levi rolled his eyes. “Hange,” he hissed as he snatched his notebook back. Setting down the mug, he grabbed a pen from his pocket and scribbled their words under the last line anyway.

“I’m serious, Levi,” Hange had a smirk on their face. “This is like, the sappiest shit you’ve written. And that’s saying something.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled, feeling the tips of his ears go red.

Hange relented and paused before speaking again in a softer, gentler tone. “I know you used Erwin’s words, and some other people’s lines, but… you know what this is, don’t you?”

Levi looked down to where he’d written just now. “I do,” he sighed. “But saying it out loud…”

Makes it real, he thought. For someone who’d written so many love songs (he’s written at least 20 since he learned to play the guitar), he was admittedly nervous to feel the things he’d spent years writing about. But at the same time… it was exhilarating to finally put a feeling to the metaphors he’d created, to the melodies he’d played. 

“I get it,” Hange didn’t push for him to finish his sentence.

“I’ll say something. Just… not now,” Levi nodded.

Before Hange could respond, the door opened and in came Miche and Eren to shatter the intimate atmosphere of the room. Levi gave Hange a pleading look. He was barely ready to talk to Hange about all this, much less Miche and the brat you call your best friend. 

“Got your text boss, sorry we’re late,” Miche explained as dropped down beside Levi on the couch and Eren handed out the drinks he bought from the cafe. Levi set down the now empty mug Hange gave him in exchange for the new one Eren brought.

Hange cleared their throat before waving in the air. “It’s fine, you know I accept bribes,” they responded, going back to their usual demeanor. “Anyway, Levi wrote a new song, so that’s what we’re doing today.”

“Oh? Another love song about Erwin?” Miche asked as Levi rolled his eyes. Eren stifled a laugh.

“When have I ever–” Levi ran a hand down his face. “I used something he said to me, yeah. Sue me.” 

As the others launched into a tirade of teasing remarks about Levi and his love for their former bandmate, his thoughts drifted back to you beside him on the piano bench and how his heart raced at the intimacy of it all. He’d say something. Eventually. But maybe he can just enjoy the messy comfort of something not quite ready to be named.

He took a long sip of his tea, emptying the cup. It was starting to get cold anyway. He reached over and grabbed your mug as well before standing from his seat. As he turned around to walk towards the counter, he spotted the two idiots entranced in their own bubble – the sandy blonde was writing something down while the other seemed to be nagging at him.

He made his way towards them, and it wasn’t until his shadow cast over their table that they finally looked up, like two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “What are you two idiots blathering about?”

Jean’s eyes widened at Levi’s tone, but Eren straightened up, attempting to look unbothered. “Frankly, it’s none of your business,” Eren said with an air of bravado. The crack in his voice betrayed him. Jean’s gaze turned to him, interested in how deep of a grave Eren could dig for himself in this moment.

Levi raised an unimpressed eyebrow and the corners of his lip tugged upwards. “I’ve heard my name twice in ten minutes,” Levi leaned in. “I’d consider it my business.”

Eren let out an exaggerated sigh, attempting to sound bored. Levi suppressed a smirk. Levi knew him too well to be fooled into thinking Eren was unaffected by his “band captain” voice. He laughed mentally at the thought of him trying to impress Jean. This kid was a handful.

“We were just–” Jean began, attempting an explanation.

“Yeah, fine, we were talking about you,” Eren cut him off. 

Jean groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Eren, shut up.”

Levi’s eyebrow rose higher as he folded his arms. “Yeah?”

Eren hesitated for a second, giving a quick glance to Jean, who still seemed to be pleading with him. “I was telling Jean here, that we should just ask if we could copy your psych assignment so the two of us could stop hanging out together.”

Levi was skeptical, but satisfied enough with their answer. He looked over to where you were working hard and realized his time was better spent away from the two obnoxious boys in front of him. “Tch,” he scoffed. “You know what I’m gonna answer to that right?”

With two resigned nods from them, Levi moved to step away from the table, once again focused on getting new drinks. However, he didn’t miss how Jean nudged Eren’s arm, muttering something Levi couldn’t quite catch. Whatever it was, it earned a glare from Eren and a barely stifled laugh from Jean. Levi’s name cut through the noise again, sharper this time, and he caught the quick, guilty glance they both shot in his direction.

When he sat back down beside you, he set your mug back at the corner next to your laptop. You looked at him with a warm smile before thanking him.

“You know your friends are idiots right?” Levi asked as he set his own mug down. You looked up at him with your head tilted in confusion before your lips tugged up in a smile.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “They are. But they’re not too bad.” You let out a chuckle. Levi felt his own lips quirk into a smile at the sound. 

“They were going to ask if they could copy our psych project,” Levi informed you, taking a sip of his tea. Still scalding hot, the way he preferred it.

Your eyebrow shot up and Levi watched curiously as you looked over at their table and tried and failed to bite back a laugh. The two boys looked up and waved at you. Jean even had the audacity to wink. He continued to watch you as you took a sip of your own coffee, recoiling at the heat. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Is that what they said,” you asked, amused. You finally turned back around to look at Levi with your eyes twinkling with something familiar. He recognized it as the same look Hange has when they’re coming up with a “theory.”

“Yeah,” Levi confirmed, now looking back down at his own notes. Social comparison theory wasn’t particularly interesting, but it beat having to watch Jean try to flirt with you. “I told them to fuck off.”

You laughed once again, and Levi felt something like pride, knowing it was because of him this time. “Did you really?” you asked incredulously.

He turned up to look at you and shook his head with a small smile. “In nicer terms, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

His eyes flickered back to the two boys who had gone back to whispering conspiratorially. Levi sighed to himself. Those two were exhausting, but they did make you laugh. Which, in Levi’s eyes, made them just ever so slightly barely tolerable.

After a few more hours of painstakingly reviewing various social psychology theories and mixing up names of theorists, the sun was finally beginning to set. Levi hadn’t really noticed until the lights of the cafe came on and the mix of gentle Christmas lights and the setting sun cast a warm glow across your face that made Levi’s stomach dip. The soft melody of a song Levi recognized had begun over the idle chit chat that filled the cafe.

There was love all around But I never heard it singing No, I never heard it at all 'Til there was you

He didn’t realize he was staring until you finally lifted your head from where it was resting against your closed fist and asked, “Is there something on my face?” 

Levi felt himself cough as he tried to prevent the blush from creeping onto his cheeks. “No, I just–” he cleared his throat. “I think the words on the page are starting to show up in my vision.” That, and whoever’s running the cafe playlist right now seems to be able to see into my mind, he thought.

You laughed. That’s at least twice today, Levi noted. Maybe he was funnier than he gave himself credit for. “Yeah,” you agreed. “Maybe it’s time to call it a night.” You turned away from him as you watched the sun dip, giving way to the lights that decorated the trees. 

Levi waited for you to finish putting your things away before he spoke again. “I’ll walk you home,” he offered, nodding to the door. To be honest, he couldn’t really remember the last time he willingly offered to walk someone home. He never really thought himself the type to. Even with Hange, he found it to be more of a reluctant obligation he had to the safety of those around him. But this… he just wanted to spend more time with you.

It wasn’t very late at all, but mid-November’s 5 p.m. sunsets could have had him fooled. Although it was an unusually warm day, the absence of the sun made Levi feel grateful that he brought his coat anyway, and although it wasn’t late, the streets felt quieter now. The sun had hidden away for the night and gave way to the glow of street lights and trees adorned with Christmas lights. He looked over to you, similarly dressed in your own long black coat and matching black knit scarf. He watched as you wrapped the scarf a little tighter around you and sighed in satisfaction. 

“Cold?” he asked.

You shook your head and Levi chuckled to himself as he watched your hair get ruffled by the back of your scarf. He reached out on instinct to adjust it, but tensed as you turned to look at him. You looked between him and his outstretched hand with a small smile and Levi bit back the urge to retract his hand. He adjusted your scarf, keeping his focus on the feel of the fabric. Not on the way you looked at him with twinkling eyes, or the puff of air that escaped your lips, or the way his fingertips felt electric when he finally drew them back.

Hange had told him once that the transition between autumn and winter was the prime time for suckers to fall in love. 

“That sounds stupid,” Levi remarked, but he definitely made a note of how good it would sound in a song. “Why then and not Valentine’s day?” It was the middle of September and the sun was too warm and the day was too long for it to feel like the beginning of autumn.

“Because that’s when love dies,” Hange replied matter-of-factly. Levi turned to Miche and Erwin who were both looking at something on Miche’s phone. No help there.

With a sigh, he allowed himself to indulge his friend’s train of thought as he tuned his guitar. “Okay, four-eyes,” he relented. “Tell me more. You have until I finish tuning my E string.”

He watched their eyes light up in wonder as they began to explain, but then they fell into a frown. “High or low?”

Levi chuckled to himself as he moved to the next string. “High.” Obviously, he’d hear them out for whatever they needed to say, but Hange spoke better with a time limit.

Hange lit up once again. “Okay,” they began decisively. “Autumn to winter is just the most romantic time of the year! It’s starting to get cold, so everyone has the biological urge to cuddle up with another person. On top of that, the holidays are great for nostalgia, the second greatest human weakness.”

“What’s the first?” Levi deadpanned.

“The neck,” Hange replied without skipping a beat. “Anyway, nostalgia leads to bad decisions like flings with exes or strangers. And finally, those trashy Christmas rom-coms brainwash the common fool into thinking love is magical and attainable.”

Without looking up, Erwin finally chimed in. “Don’t you cry watching Love Actually every year?”

“That’s research, dear Erwin,” Hange threw a pillow in his direction. Miche caught it, barely even looking up, and placed it on his lap to rest his phone on top. 

When Hange made no move to speak again, Levi looked up to see Hange already looking his way expectantly. “Wow,” Levi replied with mock enthusiasm. “I didn’t even get to the high E string yet.”

Hange huffed and rolled their eyes. “I can be timely,” they defended. “Anyway, makes sense right? It’s a theory I’m working on.”

“Guys, they’re theorizing again,” Levi called to the two boys on the couch who were still engrossed by the video playing on the phone. It sounded like a music video, but when he leaned to get a better look, all he saw was… dancing fruit?

“Great job, Hange,” Miche called out in a monotone. “Science does rule.”

“Just don’t burn your eyebrows off again,” Erwin added, not looking up.

“That was once!” 

Levi shook his head. “How exactly are you working on this theory?” He was sure he’d regret asking, but curiosity won the better of him.

“I’m gonna make my TA from my forensic biology class fall in love with me,” Hange shrugged. Yup. Regret. Levi rolled his eyes with a huff. “Why? You want in?”

“Wait,” Miche finally looked up. “Are you talking about the terrifying grad student who looks like he’s 50 but is only like… 35? He drives a motorcycle. He’s too cool for you.”

“I’m cool!” Hange gasped.

“You just came up with an insane theory based on Christmas rom-coms,” Erwin pointed out.

“And you cry during Love Actually,” Levi added.

“When me and my lovely TA are happily married, you’ll all eat your words!”

Hange’s TA did not, in fact, fall in love with them.

Levi’s not particularly sure why he remembered that now. He had dismissed the theory as simply another of their stupid ramblings. But now… maybe, he figured, Hange’s theory had some merit. With the chill of November and the warm yellows that graced your skin under the Christmas lights? He felt warm beside you. Comfortable, even.

The walk back to your apartment wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was much shorter than he would have liked. it turned out you and Levi lived in buildings across from each other. Crazy how the world can feel so small sometimes. At your door, you turned and leaned against it, wrapping your arms around yourself. It had gotten colder in the time it took to walk back. There was a silence that washed between the two of you – not awkward, but still full of anticipation. Like a buzz.

“Oh right,” you spoke. “Before I forget, Armin’s organization is hosting a charity thing next weekend. If you’re free, you should definitely go.”

“A party?” Levi asked. “Or…” he trailed off, waiting for you to correct him.

“Armin said it’ll be a black tie gala,” you explained, and Levi tried to keep his face from falling into a frown. His heart sank at the idea of being surrounded by small talk and crowds all night. You must have noticed his hesitation because you scrambled to continue speaking. “I mean, it’s not– you don’t have to come, but I just– it’s– it would be a lot more fun if you swing by.”

He was sure that the blush that crept onto his cheeks matched yours and you both looked away from each other. Levi wasn’t big on parties, dances, formals, or anything of the sort. He tolerated it when he was the one playing on stage, because at least then he didn’t really have to interact or socialize. But a gala where he’s just another person in the crowd? Hange had forced him to attend enough parties for him to know he was more of a wallflower than a dancer.

But if it meant he’d see you again…

“Sure,” he shrugged in an attempt to regain his composure. “I’ll swing by.” He mimicked your words with a smile, and felt something soft spread through his chest.

“Good,” you smiled back at him, the relief was evident in your voice. The moment seemed to stretch before either of you spoke again.

“See you around?” He asked, not wanting to say goodbye, but not wanting you to stand outside to catch a cold.

“See you around.” Your gaze lingered on him for a beat longer before you finally unlocked your door. Levi watched you disappear inside with a final wave and the door clicked shut.

He stood there in front of your closed door for a moment longer, and now everything around him sounded much louder. The howl of the breeze, a car honking in the distance, the groups of people walking in the quad – but none of it was louder than the thump of his own heart against his chest. 

He wasn’t used to this. To want to find excuse after excuse to spend an extra moment or two with you, to put aside his own feelings to do so, to bite back words that he so desperately wants to say. It was so new, and he wondered what it was about you that made him not only welcome this feeling, but to chase after it so desperately. 

And as he lay in his bed, unable to sleep all night, he thought and thought about how it could be you to change his heart. Hange was right. He was definitely a sucker.

A/N: this was supposed to be the last chapter, but i just kept going back and adding details and details and my document ended up over 20k words so that's why the last chapter and this one are smaller shorter chapters. I might split up the next 10k as well, tbh.... not sure yet! just vibes lol.

[ms0milk]

✧ forget-me-nots ✧

trying to pass on some of the appreciation I receive here because it's crazy to break the 4th wall for a second and really internalize how this community is driven by creativity and mutual loving. here's a list in random order of my most dear to me loves + a few nonmutuals whose work i think of often, and the pieces that remind me most of them

when they come for you in the night (thorfinn x reader) | @gardenofnoah

the depth of dive i had to take through your blog to find this is just.. the moment i hit "when you’ve known nothing but cruelty, kindness would surely be terrifying" it was game over. thorfinn came so so to life and this was such a stunnning introduction to your style. youve written so much now and i find myself always totally stunned! but i still always think of this one first. (i give it all to you also spills out of my brain sometimes while im trying to go about the world and was a close contender + this bkg x feral creature little piece of wonderful)

you. that's what happened, you (maki x reader) | @neiptune

you already know, i would be a godless liar if said i didn't think about this weekly; the maki rizz is heretofore unmatched, this piece went above and beyond all req expectations, “hold my hand, they’ll think something’s wrong if you don’t” will be the epitaph on my tombstone. you have the power to make me love all those boys ive never even thought about, and when it was time to write for my actual wife you cracked your knuckles and made sure id never be satisfied by another! (aint that the worst thing you ever heard also reminds me of you sm, eren aot of all people)

unsubtle pro shinsou drabble | @moonbeamwritings

i can feel the heat of shinsou's crush through both our screens it is just perfection!!! what a dweeb. love to send this to myself so its easy to find and reread on the regular

To Shape a Home (bkg x reader) | @kweenkatsuki-fics

not only do the stardew vibes shine through every corner, this fic was carved out with such care it makes the relationship + bkg's growth all the more precious! "yer nothin’ to go nuts over." was an insane introduction and the two of them only got better and better and sweeter and stickier with time (ao3 tagged bc i cant find your beautiful masterlist marquie sosrrrrry)

bittersweet (vash x reader) | @heich0e

i remember exactly where i was when i read this for the first time and I remember how excited I was to find a vash fic after so long loving trigun! i didn't even know the new series had been released yet! this was agonizing, such a soft characterization for both, and the desert was so palpable-- the setting really added so much spice to an already seasoned piece

hanafuda (tanjiro x reader) | @cherryblossomsenpai

way way back in 2022 this was one of the first tanjiro pieces i ever read that really made a romantic argument for him. love his exhaustion, exasperation, fear and relief all wrapped up in one hug "The rest of his lecture is indecipherable," bc he's just crying so hard! total sweetheart, so in character

kirishima drunk girl wrangler | @mechamedusa

dusa🫱🏻‍����🏼kirishima ofc your kiri thoughts are unmatched and this one is so quintessential, when i think of him i think of you. he is so wrangler shaped! the perfect boyfriend, your mind is a treasure trove

wedding vows (hashira x reader) | @meowzfordayz

to my very first friend <3 you'd think the piece i associate most with you would be one of giyuus and you write so so impressively much it was hard to decide, but this hashira drabble wrung me by the neck when I first read it, and it still crushes me that your kyojuro isn't a real man i can go outside and hunt for sport. "I have an energy bar in my suit pocket — just in case." a snack for his partner at their own wedding put me down, love your mind always

sleepy rengoku drabble | @vampcubus

my femdom queen! why was it so hard for me to remember which character this was written for? reader's rizz blinded me, thank you for introducing me to dom!reader works bc now every sexy hc i have is filtered through the puppysub filter to make all those big strong boys tastefully more submissive

anything to do with anika~ | @ltadoriyuujl

love your oc, she's such a caring nuclear bomb! loved reading your wonderful chara exploration piece and being able to write for her myself! what a trust fall

the only exception (yuuji x reader) | @touyangel

yuuji is such a boyscout at the end of the world, even in total tragedy he is kind and calm and caring. thinking about "If he wasn’t teaching you how to decapitate something that used to be human, it might have been romantic." this one hurts so so good and very easily convinced me love on him. even with all the choso pieces of yours I adore, this yuuji piece reminds me most of you (this sick choso drabble is a close second!)

menthol (aki x reader) | @cyancherub

the smut hall of fame all time champion on my knees on the floor kicking my feet and smiling, love the characterization in this piece! car guy/childhood friend/overprotective/smoke sess/ so intimate and perfectly filthy. a tried and true classic, this is a blessing

fill my little world right up (aizawa x reader) | @shibaraki

the fic of all time yeah, WHAT a way to be introduced to your writing and what a privilege! this piece is just a beating heart, every action and character introduction felt like a memory, the love was so palpable. reread this one all the time, can't believe it's free, want to bind a copy for my bookshelf

cor unum (sukuna x reader) | @vampyrsm

this was the first writing i ever saw from you and in an effort of solidarity (im finishing a longform fic as well and holy fuck) i've very recently started reading and can already tell how much care you had for this world and its characters. the dedication to setting and history is so cool and rare in reader fics, can't believe you're letting us read all this for free! what a tome, seriously looking forward to it (and this bkg thought abt crowded places! mmm)

i love you more than being seventeen (nanami x reader) | @strawberrystepmom

this fucking guy oh my god, this fic almost put me in the hospital, so so glad you reposted. "hey. I love you." OOhhhHHGoowwAWAWAAAA this is such a timeless character piece-- nanami running away from this word he hates, job he hates, girl he loves, and coming back to it all knowing he'll die and knowing its worth it. i get chills

strawberry stars on my lips (bkg x reader) | @willowser

breaking the rules of speed dating is insanely romantic, probably the most romantic thing someone has ever thought of and this is the piece i think of when i think of your blog. bkg is simultaneously so constipated and so vulnerable i almost feel like i have to cover my eyes for him and it is sugary sweet in the best way. happy hiatus!

[littlespacereader]

Ive been in such a silly little baby mode lately, i'm wondering if you could write cg!natasha with baby!reader playing together, natty has been stressed with work lately and all she needed was some quality time with her baby. (I'm all in with the cute lil baby details- rattles, play mats, diapers- ) thank you!!

AHHHHH!!! Such a cute idea!! I love me a baby Regressor fic! And with Natasha?! *chef kiss*

Back In Your Arms

Caregiver! Natasha Romanoff & GN Little! Reader (SFW)

Tags - cuddle, diapers, mention of an accident, bottles, rattles, and tons of fluff!

Nicknames - sweetheart, little one, little rascal, & little monster

This mission did NOT go as planned. But then again, when you’re an the Avengers when does it?

It was a rough mission. A long and difficult mission. On the jet back to the tower the team sat exhausted in their seats. Thor and Tony planned on having a drink together after their victory, Steve and Bruce planning on calling it a night. But Natasha couldn’t wait to spend the evening with her little one.

There was nothing that relaxed Natasha more than spending time with her little one Y/N. They were perfect in every way, the sweetest and kindest baby. Just as Natasha took care for them when they regressed, they took care of Natasha just as much.

Natasha was no stranger to a difficult past. Missions like these bring the worst memories to mind. So coming home to her little one always pushed horrible memories and thoughts far far away. It brought out a side of her that only her little one was allowed to see, a kind of maternal instinct she didn’t know she had until them.

But just as she was daydreaming about what her little one was up too at the moment, Nick Fury’s voice rang through the jet. “After you arrive back at the tower I want you all in the conference room to talk about the next possible location of the enemy.”

Everyone groaned in frustration. But knowing Fury, there was no getting out of it. So, once they landed they all made their way to the meeting.

Natasha paused for a second, staring longingly down the hallway to her room. Just a couple more minutes, she said to herself, just a couple more minutes and then I’ll see Y/N. She turned and walked towards the conference hall.

The meeting was going on for FAR too long. Bruce was half asleep, and Steve wasn’t far behind. Tony and Thor were hanging on by a thread too. Natasha just sat there, stubbornly waiting to the meeting to be over so she could see her little one. But her little one decided if she couldn’t come to them, they would simply come to her.

“Wait Y/N!” Natasha heard Clint say before the door to the meeting swung open.

Natasha sat up and looked over to see the red tear stained face of Y/N. They held their stuffed animal rattle in hand and a little bow in their hair to complete their look.

The moment they saw Natasha they took off, running around the table and right over to her. “Mama!!”

Immediately Natasha pushed her chair back and pulled her upset little one into her lap. “Awwww! What’s wrong baby? Mama’s here, no need to be upset.”

She immediately looked at Clint for an answer. Staring at him with daggers in her eyes. He threw his hands up in defense “They were fine the whole time you were gone. I even did their hair! But the moment Jarvis told them you were back they were upset. I tried to explain that you would be a minute but as you can tell they didn’t want to wait a minute.”

Everyone in the meeting was now awake as ever and smiling at the adorable sight. All of them knowing Natasha’s relationship with her Regressor. And all of them behind completely accepting of it.

Speaking of that regressor, the tears had stopped all together now that Y/N was happily in their mama’s arms. Just a little sniffle here and a eye rub there.

Natasha stood up and put Y/N on her hip. “I think this is my sign to call it a night.” She bounced Y/N a little, “Say good night to everyone.”

Y/N, instead of saying good night, held out their rattle and showed everyone. They shake it a couple of times for all the Avengers to see. They all smiled at the sight.

“Wow! What an amazing rattle!” Uncle Steve commented.

“What a lovely sound.” Uncle Tony joked.

“It looks quite fun young one!” Uncle Thor smiled.

With that adorable interaction, Natasha and Y/N left the meet and went back to their room in the tower.

“Did you enjoy hanging out with Uncle Clint?” She asked on the way.

Y/N shrugged, “Missed you mama.” Wrapping their arms around her tightly.

“I know sweetheart, Mama missed you too.” She hugged them back just as tight. “But I can see you had a nice time with Uncle Clint. He did your hair so nice.”

Y/N smiled back at Natasha, “I gotta bow!” They pointed out the bow on their head which happened to be their favorite color. When Clint ran into the room Natasha noticed he also had a matching bow in his hair. It seems the two had a hairstyle party.

Natasha smirked, “You look so beautiful sweetheart.”

Once in their room Natasha walked into the bedroom to get the two of them changed. Lounge clothes for Natasha and comfy pjs and a fresh diaper for Y/N. Natasha’s set them down on the bed as she went to grab their supplies from their room.

When she returned she could see her little one’s mood had dropped. Before she got a chance to wonder why, Y/N spoke up.

“I’m sorry Mama.” They said softly

Natasha looked confused, “For what sweetheart.”

Y/N looked away, trying to hold back tears of embarrassment. “Had a accident.” They said back, barley a whisper.

“Y/N, you never have to be sorry for having an accident. That’s why you’re wearing diapers. They’re meant to help you, to comfort you. I will never be mad at you for something like an accident. You know that right?”

Y/N looked up and into Natasha’s eyes, almost searching for whether or not she was lying. But she wasn’t. She may have been a spy but she would never lie to her little one. So after a moment Y/N nodded.

“Good, now let’s get you changed into a fresh diaper. Then we can get something to eat and watch a show. Sound good my little rascal?” She smirked.

Y/N smiled back at the nickname, “Yeah!”

And so Natasha helped Y/N into the soft fluffy diaper and the heart patterned pajamas. After she got herself changed.

“Oh no,” Natasha stood up. “I feel a monster taking over me!”

Y/N gasped and tried to squirm away knowing their impending doom.

“It’s the tickle monster!!” Natasha yelled out before tickling her sweet little one. Y/N giggled and giggled, kicking and squirming to get away from the tickle monster.

“No tickle monster no!” Y/N said between giggles.

Finally the tickle monster seemed to leave Natasha. “Alright you little monster, let’s get something for our tummies.”

Up Y/N went back into their Mama’s arms. Natasha walked back into her mini living room. The room was a mix between a Little’s playroom and a living room.

On the floors laid the colorful playmats, and scattered across them were the many toys Y/N had been playing with. Most were soft toys like plushies and others were toys like rattles, little people figures and more.

Natasha set Y/N down on the mat. She handed them their rattle back which they happily accepted.“Alright sweetheart, I’m going to make something quick for us to eat tonight and then we’ll watch a show and head to bed. Sound good? A nice easy night for the two of us.” Natasha smiled down at her little one, and they smile back. With a little nod from her Little, she goes off to the kitchen.

Natasha watches her little one from the kitchen as she gathers a bottle for them and a pb&j sandwich for herself. She had her back to her little one for a little bit while she warmed the milk for Y/N and toasted some bread for herself.

When she turned around her little one was missing from the living room. She grabbed the plate and bottle and went to investigate.

“Y/N?” She called as she entered. But in return she just got giggles. Oh, a game of hide and seek it was!

Natasha set the plate and bottle down and looked around the living room for Y/N. She smiled to herself and she stalked around looking for Y/N.

“Oh no! Where did Y/N go? They were just here a minute ago! Are they��under this pillow? No, not there. What about under this blanket! No not there either…”

Y/N tried to hold back their giggles as they watch Natasha lift up objects and looked under them. They found the perfect spot! Right behind the recliner chair!

But then mama got very quiet… Y/N was just about to lift their head and look when they were lifted up into the air and into their Mama’s arms.

“There you are! I thought I lost you forever!” Natasha said hugging her little one close.

They giggled “Mama I found the best spot!”

“You did! I couldn’t find you for ages!”

Natasha set the two of them down on the couch. She handed Y/N their bottle and grabbed the remote. “What show do you wanna watch tonight sweetheart?”

Y/N pointed to the icon for Bluey. Natasha smiled, “Another Bluey night it is.”

Y/N curled up in Natasha’s lap as Bluey started to play on the tv. Natasha wrapped one arm around their shoulders while she ate her sandwich with the other.

By the time the third Bluey episode was over, Y/N’s bottle was empty and they were fast asleep on the couch cuddling Natasha closely. Natasha couldn’t help but smile and hold them closer.

They’re what made coming home so special. Natasha didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have her little bundle of joy to be there for her after tough missions. She didn’t know what she’d do is she didn’t have them in her life.

But there was no point in dwelling on something terrible like that. Because Natasha did have Y/N in her life, and she’s never been more grateful for it. To have someone to care for, to have someone to love.

Natasha picked up Y/N and carried them to her bedroom. Although Y/N had their own room with their own crib to sleep in, tonight just felt like a Mama’s bed type of night.

Natasha gently put Y/N in her bed before climbing in herself. She cuddled Y/N close to her, kissing the top of their head. “Good night sweetheart. I love you so much.”

Y/N stirred a little before finding a comfortable spot cuddled close to Natasha. “Good night mama, love you too.”

And so the two of them fell asleep peacefully, the worries and stress of the mission long forgotten.

[the-kr8tor]

PLEASE, PLEASE FAE HOBIE X READER PLEASE I NEED IT AGAIN YOUR SERIES KILLED ME EVEN IF I LOVED IT AND I NEED MORE FAE HOBIE X READER. I NEED POSSESSIVE FAE HOBIE X READER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REQUEST TO BE OPEN PLEASE I BEG OF YOU MORE FAE HOBIE HES PLAGUED MY THOUGHS BC OF YOU.)

IT CAN BE ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING WITH FAE HOBIE (BESIDES ANGST I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT WITH YOUR SERIES/HJ /PF)

I UTTERLY NEED TO KISS AND JUST NEED FAE HOBIE. YOU GOT ME OBSESSED WITH FAE HOBIE GUENGUENAHJFSBIAHDNSHSNFUD 🩷🩷🩷

Hi, bestie! I blacked out while writing this (a side effect of writing for fae Hobie 🤣🤣 he does things to me) I tried my best at making this as fluffy as possible but if you want it fluffier pls feel free to send another prompt! (Fae Hobie still has my heart) thank you for requesting!! 🫶

Pairing: Fae! Hobie Brown x Fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food mentions, Fae AU, Fae! Hobie Brown, a bit of hurt/comfort, fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You definitely remember planting your tulips just yesterday. At first it was your cabbages growing large just after a few days of planting, then the tomatoes and now the tulips. The colorful bulbs sway in the breeze, the fragrant flowery smell relaxes your bones. Yet you can't help but feel creeped out by the weird phenomena.

You just moved in recently to a quaint town that's settled right on the edge of a dense woodland area. You've heard of the stories when a human has captured a fae’s attention, and it looks like this is the case for you. All the stories don't always end well for the former. But if the extremely fast growth of your garden says anything, it's that this particular fae means well. Hopefully.

So as a thank you to the kind entity, you place a bowl of milk and honey right under where your tulips are planted. You've even left a plate of salad all made from the crops you've lovingly planted and bloomed after just a few days of planting. You think for a second that maybe the soil under your feet is healthy and bountiful but there's no harm done if there isn't any mythical creature helping you. The worst case is a raccoon eating your offerings.

Bewildered is an understatement, your eyes are the size of dinner plates once you see something shimmering on the ground. Whatever you did, the fae seems to like it. They left a crown of daisies on your doorstep the next morning, the petals are all adorned with flecks of gold. The flowers run like silk under your fingers.

You look past your garden to the woods, the fog swirls around the edge. In your vision you see the mist form and shape into a tall slim figure. Your hand tightens around the crown of flowers, hands shaking in disbelief.

You didn't go out that day.

More gifts appear outside your home, tiny trinkets woven carefully to create something beautiful. A bouquet of flowers on your windowsill, a figurine of a spider made from vines that's left hanging by the large oak in your backyard. They all appear outside your house so there's no cause for actual fear. If only you stop feeling eyes on you whenever you go outside.

A friend from the city visited you one day, telling you how much they've missed you, gushing on how much you've missed while away. They ask if you ever feel lonely out in the outskirts of the country you could always come visit them.

The same eyes you feel outside can be felt in your bedroom that night.

Whatever latched on to you seems benevolent, watchful, yes but not evil or controlling. You've gotten used to the presence after a few months of living at your cottage. You've even started talking to them during the day when you have no one to turn to. You tell them stories of your almost forgotten childhood and your old life where the houses are made of glass and grey stone, where they stood high above, almost touching the heavens. They've never responded, always listening and ever present.

He wants to respond though, tell you tales of old, where the flowers used to sing and dance, where the woods reigned supreme above all. He misses them, yes, but he misses your voice more. Is it possible to miss your touch too even though he's only imagined it before? Perhaps your hands feel like the finest silk spun upon his skin, your fingers weaving through his like a glittering river, waking him up from his centuries of stagnant waters.

He's seen you laugh and cry, and tend to your garden like it’s your own children. He wants nothing more but to join you in harvesting your bounty, to converse with you and listen to you mumble about your day. Gradually he appears behind you when your back is turned, watching as you make your dinner, observing you plant something new. Then in a flash, he vanishes when you turn around. Leaving you feeling empty

You enter the gates of your garden with tears in your eyes, words barely coherent by your sobs. Kneeling in front of your tulips, you grasp the grass underneath, pulling and ripping out the blades. A sudden hand circles around your wrist, warmth enveloping you in a crashing wave.

He appears just behind the tulips, your eyes soften when your vision focuses on his handsome and otherworldly face. He doesn't know what's gotten you upset but what he does know is that it'll be alright for now on. Because he's—

“Here, ‘m here” His voice calms you down like a thick blanket in the winter.

Without hesitation, you embrace him, the smell of sandalwood and flowers almost stops your heart. You grip him tight, his strong arms envelope you securely, his face nuzzled right between the space over your neck. You do the same, already feeling at home on his skin.

“You're here. You’re real, aren't you?”

“As real as you” he leans back to look at your tear stained cheeks, wiping it with his thumbs. “And here to stay if you want me to”

“Please” you lean on his touch.

He nods, placing a weighted kiss on your forehead. Suddenly you know his name. You call it sweetly amidst the tears, it feels welcome on your tongue.

For the first time in years, Hobie smiles and chuckles, kissing you atop your eyelids with a promise to never leave your side.

[artisticmenace]

Hii!! I keep forgetting but I always wanted to ask! On your intro page(?) it mentioned a project of yours called ‘those days’?

I’m REEEEAAALLY interested on learning more about it!!! Lore drop?

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR CENTURIES

so basically Those Days is a comic that i am currently making. its about two guys, Scott and Rodney who are both 58 and live in the midwest(because i do). Scotts sister Deb has just passed away so his great nephew, Danny comes down. The story is them telling him(and this chick named Candy, which im still figuring out how to introduce) about their life and how they met. I have over fifty issues written, but none released because after a while, it was kind of a chore, and i wasn't sure if anyone was interested! so THANK YOU SOOOOO MMUCH for asking about it!

Scott is based off of those "bad" kids that are actually really nice and are sort of vigilantes. Rodney is an easy bullying victim and even though he could totally do something about it, he doesnt.

this is very much a story about people and what they are and how your initial judgment is not always the correct assumption. its also very much how the key word in the last part of that is ALWAYS. its about life.

ill leave some character intros under the cut i case you want those too bc i could blab all day about them. scott and rodney may or may not be my sons. my boys. there will be art too. probably silly art. mostly the main group of characters. not their families though because i have barely drawn them(character design is tricky)

if you want to see all my silly drawings, they'll be tagged #those days comic or with the characters full name. but yeah THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT THAT!!! I HAVE MOTIVATION NOW!!!! ok character rant under the more heeeheee

This is Scott

Scott has quite possibly the worst rbf ever and he looks like a scary mean guy. he steals his moms makeup because he can and he wears black eyeshadow 24/7. in reality, hes very nice and also has depression. hes a male MANIPULATED and has 6 semi terrible ex gfs. he is sort of homophobic at the beginning which is important to his lore. but even being a sad son of a bitch he can still beat the hell out of someone with a baseball bat. which leads to my next point. hes an adrenaline junkie. another design thing im slowly figuring out is simplifying his tattoos. theyre all on his torso and theyre all flowers. he loves flowers.

ROOOODNEYYYYY!!!!!

a lot of the time im trying to figure out how to draw him better tbh. Rodney has a prey animal stare. and he behaves much the same. hes pretty chubby but hes also fairly strong. he is very much a victim of child abuse but instead of becoming a bully, he just kinda gives up. he doesnt really have motivations outside of survival and hes not sure why. in fact, the primary reason he stuck around scott after meeting him was because scott believed him immediately after he said he didnt do something and made him feel safe. under the surface of being a prey animal, hes also incredibly angry. angry about a lot.

LUCY CAMPBELL EVERYBODY!!!

i dont draw her a lot...

Lucy is scotts lesbian ex gf and best friend ever. she kind of pushes them together because she knows too much. shes incredibly easy to talk to and people would confess to basically anything to her. design wise she also has a terrible rbf and DONT BE FOOLED!!! SCOTT STOLE HER LOOK WITH THE EYESHADOW!!! she also has lots of tattoos and actually gave scott all of his.

JORDAN AND DIANE (theyre kind of a set)

again. barely draw them and diane has had a few revisions.

diane and jordan are very much gay and in love. diane's family is like. the only immigrant family for miles. shes very nice but fairly cynical. shes very used to the notion that she has to find her way in the world and that if she doesnt fight, she wont survive. jordan is anxious as hell and dianes sister HATES her because she knows that jordan is a lesbian and is in love with diane. jordan also doesnt know why or how shes alive.

edward! ive only drawn him once.

eddie is lucys adopted brother. hes brilliant and silly. also gay as hell. idk if youve realized but almost none of these people are straight. edward isnt a very developed character because he is very much a supporting static character.

clyde and parker

clyde and parker are the two main members of scotts gang. its not really a gang but it might as well be. they dont really become important until the whole 1992 thing. youll find out. clyde was scotts best friend for a long time before he started hanging out with rodney. they have some very complicated history. diversity win! clyde finds out that he, too, is bisexual and gets with eddie! i dont know if ill wver bring that up in comic.

so thats basically the main cast of characters youll see in the comic. THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!! SORRY I YAPPED SO MUCH HAHA.

the comic will be release on a separate blog called @thosedayscomic there isnt really much on there except a mini comic that takes place around 1996, scott and rodneys thirties. its just scott getting home from work and going to sleep haha.

[notedchampagne]

20 questions for 20 writers!

tagged by @waitineedaname i am surprised i qualify for this game thank you

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15 :] thats a good number can we all pretend like thats all im going to write forever now

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

148,323 oh my god

3. What fandoms do you write for?

homestuck before, tlt now. i had one haikyuu draft i was too embarrassed to post or finish

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

intern the sixth - 975 kudos (holy crap)

songs made on the meteor - 636 kudos

love in its disrepute - 587 kudos

secondhand confession - 485 kudos

first kiss second time around - 433 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to reply to all of them but i lose steam Very Easily

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

M.I.L.F! it is also the ONLY fic i wrote with what i consider an angsty ending. im ridiculous for putting only hideous fluff out there im sorry someone has got to put me down

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i cant answer this because all my fics were engineered to rot your teeth with sweet stuff. i cant reread my old fics to determine which is the worst because they make me embarrassed

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i got hate exactly once but it was more like unwarranted criticism of intern the sixth - someone complained that they felt the dialogue was complicated and that harrowhark was swearing at the age of 12 because she has been running the ninth for 2 years. personally i just disagree with their interpretations of the characters so haha

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

no and if i ever do take it as a red flag ok?

10. Do you write crossovers?

i actually hate crossover fics most of the time im sorry daljfsjacio30

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

dont think so

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but @/thatneoncrisis revises + writes dialogue chunks for intern the sixth sometimes

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

haha. [gritted teeth] grdlhrk..

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a wip where gideon and harrow undergo perfect lyctorhood and live forever. i hope i PRAY i finish it one day. i also wrote 3328 words for that one sakuatsu fic and i dont think ill finish it but it TORMENTS me that noones read it. if you wanna read it just dm me

16. What are your writing strengths?

i know uhm... how to sway the algorithm. ive read enough fanfic to know the exact diction and order of words that will get people hooked. sometimes i edit my friends' fanfic summaries so that theyll get more clout on ao3

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

finishing the damn writing. i write so slow ok its a miracle if i can make 200 words in one day. also i write dialogue in 'my' voice before translating it into character voices so i struggle with keeping things in character

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

impressive! could never do it though

19. First fandom you wrote for?

[gritted teeth] hmstck....

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

im really proud of MILF because i wrote that thing in one fevered afternoon and i dont know what came over me

[ap0stle]

WIP questionnaire tag game

THANK U FOR THE TAG @astramachina

umm the wip in question is TMNTDT aka Tell Me Not to Do This aka teenage mutant ninja turtle...dookie time

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

oough that was back in like... 2016? 2014? and i started with the first chapter right away which ended up being the fourth chapter and then became Nothing At All because i have wrecked this thang beyond recognition <3

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

definitely Burn a Church by Coma Cinema bc it's been in my mock-soundtrack playlist for years and fits the vibes really well :3 the playlist in question is kind of a mess and old as hell but i'll link that too just in case ^_^

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

curtis definitely, i think i get caught up on the details of everyone but he is the most wholly developed and also umm. very similar to me so i love him dearly. he is the worst.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

if you like weird indie movies about young mentally unwell people that may or may not be queer and/or on da spectrum... you will enjoy my garbage and such movies as I Am Not a Serial Killer, As You Are, Super Dark Times, etc. ALSO magnus archives fans maybe bc of the whole Mold Cult thing that is still under development

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

settling on a format was and is still my number one struggle lol. i have switched between a book, comic, videogame, screenplay, website... i have like 50000 drafts scattered across different websites and applications and if this thing ever comes to life i think i will actually fucking ascend

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

ssssssssssort of. there are a lot of dead animals. and fungi. and mold. there have been some minor pet ideas thrown around for the more. Safe Environment characters but for the time being no actual lovable creatures :/ maybe eventually!

How do your characters travel/get around?

Juno's car because mr. dumbass dumped his murder truck into a river ^_^

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

....yes. in all seriousness i have so many different versions in different POVs and tenses it's a toss up as to what i work on and if it will even make it to the next round of editing LOL

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

its not quite explicitly queer (in the latest version) but heavily HEAVILY implied and i feel like the stories that are sort of ambiguous about their queerness tend to draw more people in ?? or they're more popular anyway LOL. so trope: queerbaiting ????

deeply unwell man who has not slept properly in 600 years. the ladies love that shit

^ unreliable narrator ?

religious horror sort of?

bury your gays except. is he actually dead?? .....

What are your hopes for your WIP?

to settle on a fucking medium LMAO. i cannot for the life of me stick to one, or a point of view, OR a tense so um . makin a goddamn decision would probbaly make the writing process like 600 times easier

tagging UM. shaking my brain for writer mutuals ik ive tagged yall before but i cannot think rn so @hammity-hammer @aether-friskets @xxdrowninglessonsxx @deviantartidentitydisorder

anyway if anyone else wants do this just pretend u have been personally tagged ily THANK U AGAIN MITCH ♡♡♡

[disneyprincemuke]

✨3k celebration post✨

right before the new year, i hit 3k followers on this blog!!! while i've had this account for years (literally since i was 14 i think, i'm 23 now) i definitely cheated a bit to get here and be celebrating it with this new fandom i'm in <3 but this is the most interaction i've gotten, after years here, and i cannot be any more on my knees for the new friends i've made i returned to this account with a max verstappen fic that i'm still very proud of and fell in love with writing again after taking a long long four year break from it and i've met so many of you that i'm sOOO glad to now be associated to <3 let's forget the fact that i tried celebrating 2k (failed horribly) and focus on this one ok <3 please stick around, i do have a celebration post that i'm currently drafting out as you read this

the biggest shoutout to @angsthology for stumbling into my life this year (i still remember being in the club drinking with my friends when she tagged me in rvstw and being so curious as to who tagged me at like 11pm on tumblr) and now we're mutuals on tiktok and just make each other sad with the most random f1 tiktoks, like i ALWAYS look forward to seeing her notification after i post because she's truly just so so funny,, tine, you have no idea how much you made me enjoy being on tumblr this year

and i guess also @localwhoore for terrorising my dash with sad edits that make me fear for my life, i appreciate you being so funny and sometimes giggling at my fics <3

AND ALL MY ANONS FOR ENTERTAINING MY LOGAN ERa and always supporting my fics (i dont think ive ever had this many people talk to me about my fics) and giving me the best ideas to post while i'm in the worst writers block of my life right now <3 i always look at my inbox first thing in the morning to see if you guys were being deranged in my sleep and you guys always put a smile to my face and make my day feel so lovely (also, thank you so much for being just as invested in femdriver and logan as i am because those two are our kids fr)

never forgetting to thank @renarots for picking up the courage to dm me first and striking up at friendship because i'd been too timid to start one with her after lurking on her tumblr account since i started my f1blr journey and now we cry about our fucked sleeping schedules ugh

i'm SURE there are more people i'm forgetting to name drop right now, and if i did forget you, please don't think i'm not appreciative of your presence on my blog!!! i've seen a lot of recurring names in my notifications with comments and consistently liking my posts, and i want you all to know that i see you and i love you and that i also want to kiss you :* please stick around and giggle with me because the holidays are over and that means my sleeping schedule will be fixed very soon

[rabbitmotifs]

fav movies i watched for the first time this 2023! tagged by @vonlipvig TYSM

january: tangerine (2015) <333 i love her forever and ever and ever

february: the deer hunter (1978)

march: the banshees of inisherin (2022)

april: buffalo '66 (1998) like. Worst person in the world made a good movie what can i say

may: FIGHT CLUB (1999) HELLLOOO

june: on the count of three (2021)

july: oppenheimer (2023) OR trainspotting (1996) OR come and see (1989) (this was the hardest month by far, i watched so many classics)

august: 10 things i hate about you (1999) (the best romcom ive ever seen personally)

september: minari (2020) OR little miss sunshine (2006) (both of these destroyed me)

october: perfect blue (1997)

november: to wong foo, thanks for everything! julie newmar (1995)

december: the big lebowski (1998) (for now... theres still time)

tagging sadie whenever you see this, @corvids-corner, @monstressmasc, myps whenever you see this, and UHHH i cannot for the life of me remember your url im so sorry but GRACE on LETTERBOXD WAIT I REMEMBER @grave-the-demon hi

and any other moviehead who wants to do this!!!!

[woodswolf]

Me before attempting to write Olimar again, one year ago: "Okay, this'll be interesting. Writing a character who isn't severely fucked up on two or five levels (but will be by the time I'm done with him). This will be nice a little experiment for myself."

Me now, having catapulted down the character study rabbit hole as I tend to: "Oh dear god, wait a minute: this guy is as deeply fucked up on the level of whom I usually write for! And I don't think that was my fault for once! I've been deceived! What the fuck?!"

(TL;DR: Your tags and ramblings made me Think, thank you. I'm certain you are having a blast tearing him to shreds in some terrible way I've yet to think of myself lol.)

(RE: all of this shit probably)

i have only really truly known this guy for a bit over a year and every little bit ive learned about him has only pushed me ever deeper into this endless well of fascination with whatever the fuck is wrong with him. this guy is a pathological liar as a method of self-soothing. who DOES that. how the fuck did he arrive in this scenario.

really when you get down to it olimar is like, perhaps one of the most depressed characters of all time, it's just that he's carefully crafted a presentation of symptoms that very cleverly hides this from both the audience and himself. this guy is literally miserable. he viscerally hates his boss and is frustrated with his coworkers where they're even relevant. he has somewhere in the range of mixed feelings on his job but generally wishes that it allowed him more time with his family. his family, which has so many undeniable problems it's difficult to even list them. where to start: his kids? his wife? his parents? every happy memory he has involves his family and most of those memories are brief glimpses at Connection that otherwise seems so absent from the rest of his life. he's a middle-aged man with a house and a yard and a wife and two-kids-and-a-dog and probably a white picket fence for good measure. he's ticking all the boxes that he was raised* to think were a one-way ticket to happiness. so why is he still so lonely? why isn't he happy? what is this general malaise that's hanging over his entire life? what's wrong with him?

(*whether or not he was actually raised on a variant of the american dream is a really interesting question but honestly not relevant here. there's a lot of interesting evidence in his logs supporting something more nuanced, but again. irrelevant)

and olimar's answer is that Actually! there's Nothing wrong! he's perfectly fine and perfectly happy and perfectly satisfied with everything in his life. nothing is wrong and he's perfectly happy and even if he weren't (which he is!!!!) he still has so many things that would make up for it. he has so many good memories that are just his that he can hold on to as hard as he possibly can for as long as he needs to until he feels better. he can write them down and read them back as a reminder until it sticks in his brain that He Is Happy. There Is Nothing Wrong. He Is Happy And There Is Nothing Wrong. because he did everything right, didn't he!! he made his choices and for the all the love of everything he holds dear he is going to stick by them. because he needs to. because if he doesn't, where would he even be?

and then this guy has the worst "vacation" of his entire life (DEFINITELY another blatant self-soothing lie btw, you CANNOT convince me that this guy would spend any more time away from his family than he absolutely has to what with his career) and the cracks actually kind of start to show. because he is very quickly launched into the worst series of circumstances he's ever experienced. and through it all he's just!! completely fucking Normal about it!! utterly fucking accepting of any outcome that happens to him because he doesn't feel like he really has any control. like he ever had any control. he should have fucking died. even before the thirty days are up he's just passively accepting of whatever happens. there are tons and tons of treasure descriptions or other entries where he expresses very explicit passive suicidality through things that could be jokes or offhand comments but really don't read like that. pikmin 1's entry for day 29 reads more like a reminder that he should at least try to not let himself die than an earnest attempt to actually do so.

and it's like, if he does survive pikmin 1, what does he even win? ever-increasing stakes at his job and ever-fewer ways to pretend that everything's fine. an ever-brighter flashing neon sign reading QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB that he has to try increasingly hard to ignore. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet that almost killed him. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet where he barely survived by only his wits and the skin of his teeth. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet where he will die, because no one was supposed to save olimar.

and through it all you can see! you can SEE the way he gets increasingly stressed out as things go along. but he's still just going along trying his damnedest to pretend that everything is fine and he is happy and he doesn't need any help, that he shouldn't be trying to make an exit as quickly as he can and to maybe ask his wife to pick up a job so they can be a dual-income household now that their kids are a bit older. he doesn't need to be looking for anything better because he has the best he's going to get right here, and isn't that wonderful? shouldn't that make him happy?

and it's like, the way things are going he's never going to get there, and on some level he knows that. but olimar's whole fucking deal is that if he can't solve something he's going to throw himself at the problem over and over until either it gets solved or his skull splits open, a pattern that is only reenforced by the events of pikmin 1 and 2 and 3. so he knows that he's never going to be happy, but he's going to try this impossible task of being happy over and over until he either fakes it till he makes it or something kills him. so far it hasn't worked out for him, but maybe the NEXT time he blows up at somebody for no reason because he just can't take the stress of it all anymore!

as it turns out i have no idea how to end this, so on a tangentially related note: olimar is not a biologist by any standard and i will die on this hill. ALL of his piklopedia entries are creative writing exercises and i can ALMOST prove this. but that's a whole other post honestly. just kind of adds to the whole thing about how much olimar lies to the reader and himself.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

Hi Weird Question, but how many followers would you ballpark say you have gotten from posting about qsmp?

I ask this because Ive been on tumblr for a LONG while, I have run multiple fandom blogs and this is the worst follow to notes ratio I have ever gotten for a blog (it is relativity new as well though). I don't want to sound weird and complain about the number of followers I have, but of the 523 posts in my blog, 38 are original posts. I have 236 notes total from those 38. and zero followers. compared to when one of my other blogs was at this size I would have somewhere of a ballpark of 10ish especially with a few posts chilling way above the average of 6 notes

I feel like this could be an issue much like the issue pertaining to people not reblogging stuff, but also I may need to reevaluate the way im interacting with people on this site >_<.

that's kind of a hard question bc i was gaining followers from the trigun fandom very shortly before i started posting about qsmp, so there was a period of overlap, but i guess when i switched to posting primarily about qsmp i would say i've gained approx. 350-400 followers. i typically get anywhere between 100-1000 notes on any qsmp post i make (excluding liveblogging) and i am apparently a more popular blog because i write fanfiction and make analysis posts on occasion which has made me weirdly well known in some places of the fandom and that is terrifying i hate being perceived HELP

ANYWAY i think a better blog to use as an example would be when i had to use a new blog because this one was unfairly flagged for a couple weeks. i used a previously unused sideblog to liveblog and make posts on since posts on my main wouldn't show up in the main tags. i typically got a fair amount of notes, anywhere between 50 to 200 on each post, but i only ended up with maybe 4 or 5 followers on that blog (excluding mutuals i had advised to follow that blog as a backup in case my main went down forever [which it didn't thank fuck]).

honestly?? i assume the lack of following is because a lot of people in this fandom are very wary. qsmpblr likes to hail itself as better than twitter (and it is in some respects for sure, i'm not denying that), but it feels like everyone in this fandom has some kind of Opinion on Something at all times. there's always something to complain about or criticize about anything, whether it be the admins, an event, another cc's character, a cc themself, etc etc. if you follow a person you will be subjected to all of their opinions on every single issue that pops up, even if it's just a dismissal of whatever current discourse is making its way through the tag (and i'm guilty of this myself sometimes, i'm no angel here). there is not a single day that goes by without something negative crossing my dash regarding something that's going on with the smp. doesn't matter what it is, someone will have something to say about some kind of issue no matter what, and that shit gets tiring. sometimes it's better not to follow people lest you find yourself bombarded with opinions. that way you can still scroll your dash without worrying about seeing untagged discourse and infighting and criticism.

[thatdeadaquarius]

A TAG GAME?! :O :D !!

✨️💙✨️

♡ 3 Lovely Ships:

Soukoku (i just think theyre so ✨️silly✨️ & couples that are @ war r my fav so- 🥰) also i recently discovered MANGA soukoku??!?!?! like theyre literally

✨️🍒🍑🍓🩹🩸💀🔫🏳️‍🌈🚔🗡🍉🍊🍋✨️ <- this

EraserMic THIS SHIP HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN SINCE THE YEAR THE DAMN ANIME CAME OUT, IN THE YEAR OF YOU, OUR CREATOR 2016 I THINK 😭 (sagau ref lol)

IVE LITERALLY CEMENTED THEM SO HARD AS MY GAY DADS THAT I FUCKING FORGOT THEYRE NOT CANON- i get confused when theyre on screen and not more coupley 💀 biggest comfort ship <3

Myself / the near entirety of Genshin Impact Playable Characters LMAOO IM A POLYAMOROUS SL*T IDK WHAT U WANT FROM MEEEE-

♡ First Ship:

Wow, back in ye olden days.. hmm... i wanna say Sasuke/Naruto lmao, I DIDNT REALIZE HUT I HEARD THE WORST NEWS EVER RECENTLY THAT IT WAS ORIGINALLY A BL INSTEAD OF AN ACTION THINGY AND THEY WOULDVE DATED 😭😭

♡ Last Song:

Labour by Paris Paloma! Im so fucking obsessed it just embodies the entirety of Feminine Rage I need- and how hard women work all the fucking time!

(Idk ig this is part of the template but-)

Live, Laugh, Love Hatsune Miku too

@fandangotales lol

♡ Last Movie:

Cocaine Bear!

Kinda cgi gory, mostly gross, sometimes i gagged 😭, watched it in theaters and it was so hilarious tho, the dialogue was like, super natural too! Like realistic jokes i would make in those situations lmao

Hope i can write dialogue that natural one day :O

♡ Currently Reading:

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System!

I fucking love this light novel (AND ITS ARTIST?! I SAW IT IN A BOOKSTORE AFTER KNOWINF THEM OFF TWITTER AND WAS IN SHOCK-)

♡ Currently Watching:

Bungou Stray Dogs & Saving 80,000 Gold In Another World For My Retirement!

♡ Currently Consuming:

Some fucking stellar Boba teas from my local shop in town! I got a sort of strawberry frozen one with whip cream and mango jelly stars + lychee popping pearls And my quintessential Thai Tea w/classic tapioca my beloved <3

Yes... I am a fancy drink bitch 😔, now you all know my secret

♡ Currently Craving:

God who wouldn't I kill for some pasta rn, like penne with the sauce and the cheeseeee UGH 😫 </3

♡ HAHA IM TAGGING:

(no pressure babes!)

@mists-reading-nook (UR SOLDIER/POET/KING WORSHIP IS CONSUMING MY WORLDBUILDING HEART- I CHECK TO SEE IF U EVER POST ANYTHING/POST ABT KING BC ILY UR WRITING SM<3)

@lonelyrosegold (i just found u but i rlly loved ur background music about Linked Universe, which I also just found out about lmao)

@bk-4-trash-fire (the OG, the SUPREME, My Liege 😌✨️ ur actually one of the first ppl that rotred my brain over genshin sagau! Thank u for all ur cool ideas that i may or may not write an entire short story abt some day lmao! The Possession AU i made was partially inspired by you!<3)

@intothegenshinworld (new for me but awesome writer!! I cant wait to see more of ur stuff!)

@chocogi (UR PUPPETEER AU PARTIALLY INSPIRED MY POSSESSION AU! thanks for the cool content!!)

♡

@fandangotales & @undecidingfate

THANK YOU BOTH?! FOR THE TAG 😭 It sounds silly but ive never gotten tagged for these things before & i was so happy to see it ;u; !!

More asks answered/posts to come my fellow zodiac signs!!

Safe travels,

💀♒️

[onthepyre]

weekly tag wednesday - thanks to @transsexual-dandelions and @mickeym4ndy <3

name: june

age: 18 (19 in less than two weeks)

astrological sign: gemini

upon which continent do you reside: north america

tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 🙃😐😶‍🌫️🤒

what's your favorite flavor of gum? mint. or whatever im not picky about it

what's the last movie you watched? repo! the genetic opera (it's bad! everyone should see it)

what was your worst subject in high school? government. mostly because i hated it

what was the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? i worked concessions at the local pool last summer. started early june and left at the end of july (before the season was over) because i injured my knee really badly

what's your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? rollercoasters and eat food made of sugar and nothing else

what condiments go on the perfect hotdog (meat or plant based)? hot dogs shouldn't exist. final answer

cincinnati chili, thoughts? bad

do you sleep with a plushie? yes

what do you think about thunderstorms? love them love them love them. my area doesn't get big ones anymore like we did when i was a kid and i miss it

what's the last animal you touched? my dear baby cat kevin

grab the item nearest to you that ISNT a book and share the final word: china. the back of a photo frame

have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before it was due? babe ive forgotten assignments until they get graded. im good at academics but not scheduling

open tag <3 play if you wanna

[neocoffeecafe]

thank you to @daydreamingyuta for tagging me, love !!

get to know me !!!

do you make your bed? hehe no i dont. it’s always ready for me for bed, though !!

what is your favorite number? i’m gonna be honest i dont have one !! as an nctzen i do naturally go ballistic when i see 127, but i don’t have one specifically !!

what is your job? i work in a restaurant ! i am the expediter, the person who takes out the food. i really enjoy it, and i would recommend it

if you could go back to school, would you? yes! i am actually working for college to do some basic classes and to take art classes

can you parallel park? living in a small town where most of the parking is parallel, ive gotten pretty good at it

a job you had that would surprise people? nope! my job at this restaurant was my first and i am still employed there :)

do you think aliens are real? i like to believe that farther away our galaxy there are other civilizations just like us, alternate realities could even be real too. theres just so much out there the possibilities are endless! but yes, i do believe they can exist just not on earth

can you drive a manual car? LOL i can hardly drive an automatic

whats your guilty pleasure? causing trouble in online games to make people angry LOL

tattoos? NOOO but i want to get some so badly !! i want to get three cardinals on my back for the three men in my life that ive lost. my uncle, grandfather, and my other grandfather that i never could’ve met but wished i would’ve. i want to get stars on my knuckles and i want to get a saturn somewhere, unsure where, i was thinking my shoulder area ! i was also thinking about getting a tattoo of luxray, my favorite pokemon. but i would like to get tons of tattoos in the future !! i’m just super nervous because i have the worst pain tolerance ever

favorite color? i have more than one! blue, black, white, silver, and rose gold are my favorites !!

favorite type of music? i literally listen to anything and everything !! genres honestly dont exist to me anymore, if i like what i listen to i will like it and save it if not i wont ! i have over 7,000 songs on my liked songs and still counting !! i have a playlist for new releases/comebacks and new music in general, it’s SOOO outdated and i am VERY behind on it but i will literally listen to anything

do you like puzzles? yeah i do ! my favorite is word search

any phobias? OH MY GOD YES I AM SCARED OF AIR ATP !! insects, dark, thunderstorms (i love them but at the same time i’m terrified I KNOW IM WEIRD !!) theres more i just can’t remember them atm LOL. AI AND ROBOTS !! i HATE ai and robots

favorite childhood sport? t-ball LOL

do you talk to yourself? yeah LOL teachers in the past have made fun of me for talking to myself while doing things, sometimes i think better talking to myself

what movie(s) do you adore? NIMONA !!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT MOVIE i watched it for the first time like a month ago and i’ve seen it about seven times

coffee of tea? OK SUE ME !! both. i love red diamond sweet tea and drink it religiously, but i say yes to both because i do like coffee, but it has to be doctored up… a LOT. i like getting the starbucks glass caramel frappe thing and the mcdonads caramel frappe. it has to be that type of coffee, i don’t like any others

first thing you wanted to be growing up? i’ve always wanted to be an artist! always always. my goal is to now become a concept artist, for video games specifically. preferably character concept design !! for companies like riot, hoyoverse, even nintendo, etc.

hmm i wasnt sure who to tag so i closed my eyes and picked two lol! @phoxphenex and @mrkis !! no pressure you don’t have to !!