#that is the whole reason i wrote this fic i gotta be so real

[firenati0n]

who truly stuck the knife in first

by firenati0n on ao3

M | 3.7k

tags: spy au, partners to lovers, banter, getting together, sexuaIIy charged wrestling, first kiss, protective henry, alex pov

“Did I say I wanted you to touch me? Maybe Vincent and Charles have a dead bedroom. Who wants to kiss a face like yours, anyway?” Patently false, considering Alex has wanted to do it forever. But he shelves that thought for a different day.  Henry raises an eyebrow as he smooths down the lines of his suit. “Hm. You think you'll get to kiss me with a smart mouth like that?” “Okay, Foxy. Don’t expect my tongue anywhere near yours tonight if things get sticky.” Henry smiles, soft and secretive. “Sure, Alex. No tongues, if you insist.”

xoxo roop

also tagging some folks who expressed interest in this pls don't mind me <3 ilysm xoxo

@suseagull04 @duchessdepolignaca03 @littlestar2911 @saturntheday @welcometololaland @onthewaytosomewhere @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @nontoxic-writes @onward--upward @cha-melodius @piratefalls @indestructibleheart @dolphinqueen10 @eusuntgratie @oxfordslutphase @dragonflylady77 @wordsofhoneydew @rmd-writes @celeritas2997 @bigassbowlingballhead @ninzied

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: thisapplepielife! @thisapplepielife has 37 works posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 24 of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @thisapplepielife:

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind

Take the Money and Run

You Oughta Know

Never Not Mine

Let the Boy Be Merry

"They are my favorite Corroded Coffin writer. I found by accident their fic “Tuesday's Gone With the Wind” and loved everything they wrote since!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @thisapplepielife answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Steve Harrington. I found myself not connecting with S4 when it premiered, and decided that I probably just needed to rewatch the other three seasons again first, since it'd been a while between seasons. Well, Steve was always my favorite, but I left that re-watch with his voice fully lodged in my brain. So, I had to write something for him, just for myself. That was You Oughta Know. We all knew Eddie identified as a runner, and that just felt like the story to tell. Then somehow, for some unknown reason that I still cannot possibly explain, I decided to actually post it. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, honestly.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good second chance fic: A divorced couple that eventually rekindles. A missed first chance that they get to take another crack at, later in life. I also like a good heartbreaker of a fic. I know, I know. Don't get me wrong, I still love happy endings, but I don't require them. Break my heart. Do it.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Slice of life? Is that considered a trope? I know I like to write about things we all deal with in real life, from the small and inconsequential: a mattress with a bad spring. The delight of clean sheets. Or the bigger: the real life heartbreak of unavoidable loss and grief.  And older Steddie is my favorite, I think. I love to spend time writing for them. These boys that turned into men, who made a full life together, and it's great. Maybe not perfect. But they wouldn't trade it for the world. That makes me happiest.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting by badpancake is the one I think of that grabbed me first, and did not let go. I still need to read the final part of the trilogy! My fic TBR is so, so long because I definitely struggle with writing and reading at the same time. I know there is amazing work out there that I've just never read yet. But I look forward to it, absolutely. It's just something I've never figured out how to manage well. Joining Tumblr has helped that immensely, though! Reading the shorter fics here has been wonderful, and I've enjoyed it so much. There are amazing things being posted every single day! And I gotta say that don't start (too late) by Ark is one of the best "first time" fics I've ever read in any fandom. Eddie's inner voice is wonderful. I believe every word he thinks while he experiences this brand new thing with Steve.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

It's not brand new to me, but there's a found family one that I've been tinkering with for a very long time, and that excites me.  And I do love events for tossing me situations or prompts to write for that I may not have thought of, independently. @steddiemicrofic especially has been so, so fun. I think it was the very first event I wrote for on Tumblr, and the challenge of having a very limited amount of words, but still trying to make it feel like a whole story has been told, has been a blast. Thanks to @wynnyfryd and @steddieas-shegoes for challenging us all each month!

What is your writing process like?

I don't outline or anything. I just write, and edit, as I go. And I'll edit obsessively. I'll tweak and change small things over and over, ad nauseam. And even then, I know I still miss mistakes. But my mistakes are my own, I have no beta, because I kind of like being solely responsible for anything I write. Right or wrong. Here it is, take it or leave it. I also talk things through things in my own head a lot, especially dialogue, or I'll open a document, and just see where that takes me. And if I'm writing a long fic, like Tuesday's, I write totally out of order when scenes come to me. I wrote on every single year of that fic all at once. Then kept writing until they'd stitched themselves together into a full story. That's my last part of writing. Putting in the transitions from one scene to the next, when needed.  Sometimes ideas are more fully formed before I start putting words to the page, and other times I literally just start and figure it out as I go. There's one fic I wrote for Steddiemas last year where I sat Steve down at a mall food court and then just started writing. I had no idea what that was going to be. (It was Eddie turning up as the Mall Santa.)  Also: Research, research, research. I love the research aspect of writing. I'm curious in general, and if I can even think to look something up to see if it's true, or of the right time period, I will. And I like to add mixed media to my fics. That was a huge part of Take the Money & Tuesday's. All the newspaper articles and such. I felt like they were needed to make it feel like this really happened to these characters we all love so much. I did newspaper articles all throughout writing Tuesday's. In fact, I think that main article, the one at the top, was written and designed very early on in the writing process. They weren't all done at the end, they were done as the story needed them.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Short paragraphs. I love 'em. You'll pry them from my cold, dead fingers. Also see: Long sentences.  Honestly, I do like to throw out the rules, a bit. I write by feel. How does it sound, to my own ear? If it works, for my character, my fic or just me in general, I'll use it. "Don't use two "ands" in a sentence." Okay, but sometimes I'm gonna when that flows the best. Or: "That's a run-on." Okay, but I like the way it reads. "You don't need a comma there." But, I like the way that it breathes, so it's getting one. All this is especially true if writing from someone's POV. I know I don't always think in proper grammar, and I don't expect them to either. I don't want things to feel hard to read, but I do want them to feel natural. If that makes sense. I walk around, pacing as I write or edit on my phone, as if the moving somehow lets me see it differently. I think it does! And I don't know if this is a quirk, but some of the characterizations formed while writing Tuesday's have stuck, hard. Gareth is Gareth Jones, and where you find him, you'll probably find Di. Freak is Goodie. Jeff is Jeff Williams. These things have been decided in my brain, and now I feel compelled to take them with me, fic-to-fic. I didn't intend to build a headcanon I wouldn't be able to shake, but here we are.  I feel like I can transplant Steve and Eddie anywhere, into anything, and be comfortable changing things up. But the Corroded Coffin boys are cemented, as they were created, for the most part. Maybe that's because I did have to do so much shaping for them. Steve and Eddie, we know. We're all working off a decent amount of canon content. Corroded Coffin only had a few moments on screen to help flesh any of us flesh them out into real characters. And now that I've made my choices, for good or bad, they're here to stay.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Finished, definitely. My three long fics were all mostly written before I started posting, and I still struggled to get the last part of All of Across the Universe out in a timely fashion. Tuesday's was posted over one week, one chapter per day, and I really enjoyed that fast schedule. It didn't give me any extra time to overthink the finished product. It was going out, and that was that. I had to trust that I knew what I was doing when I deemed it finished.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind. I truly thought I was done after Take the Money and Run. And then this idea slapped me in the face, and I spent five months just lost in their world. These versions of the characters came so naturally, and they are still with me today. I feel like most of what I've written since then is shaped by those versions. Also, that was the last fic I wrote without anything else coming down the pipe. The last one before I joined Tumblr. The last one that had my full, and utter, undivided attention. It's really special to me, and I'm beyond grateful to everyone that has embraced it and recommended it to friends. I know it's got some scary warnings, but for those that have dove in and let me know that it spoke to you in some way, you've made me so happy. It spoke to me, too.

How did you get the idea for Tuesday's Gone With the Wind?

By watching the documentary "If I Leave Here Tomorrow" about the band Lynyrd Skynyrd. As I was watching it, there was an interview section where one of the band members spoke about their assistant road manager, saying: "He was like a bartender roadie. Where he took care of us really good, you know? Anybody who was sick, or needed a little more attention, he was just there for you. He was like the big brother, and sister, and your mama and everything." My brain whispered, Steve Harrington.  And that was that. Corroded Coffin were going to get Road Manager Steve Harrington, and he was gonna take care of them as they headed towards this unavoidable disaster. I wrote like 5k words the first night. It was just in there, waiting to spill out, somehow. And I think it's also an anomaly for me, but I'm fairly certain I started that fic with what turned out to be the opening. That first bit of Eddie's first interview section. I think that's where I started telling the story, and it held throughout. That's pretty rare for me. (Fun fact: I wrote all the interview bits in a separate document, and then just fit and tweaked them into the story, as needed. But not that opening. That was the launch pad into everything else.)

When writing Tuesday's Gone With the Wind, what was something you didn’t expect?

It's not exactly a Steddie answer, but - Gareth! Gareth Jones, my beloved. I wasn't on Tumblr when I wrote Tuesday's or any other social media in a fandom way. I was in my own bubble, doing my own thing. So, I didn't know the fandom had given him a fanon surname. I chose my own, and now he's just Gareth Jones to me, and always will be. He's also Eddie's best friend. I've pondered on more than one occasion on if Take the Money and Run would be different if I knew that first, lol. Just exploring my version of a character that had so little screen time to work off was incredibly fun. And has remained fun. Gareth is definitely gonna show up again in my future works. He's to Eddie, as Robin is to Steve in my head now and forevermore.

What inspired Take the Money and Run?

These lyrics from the song "Me and Paul" by Willie Nelson: Almost busted in Laredo But for reasons that I'd rather not disclose But if you're staying in a motel there and leave Just don't leave nothing in your clothes I had a literal shower thought that made me laugh. And thought, well, why are they even in a motel? Oh, they must be on a road trip. So, I wrote that little scene mainly in my head, but jotted it down, just in case, and assumed that was the end of it. But then I just kept writing it. Until I was knee deep in maps and mileage and research trying to figure this road trip out from a logistics standpoint. All because I thought it'd be funny if Eddie left weed in his pants and Steve got all put upon because of it.

What was your favorite part to write from You Oughta Know?

I loved getting to include all the fun 90s things, since that's when I was a teen, and can remember a lot of it very distinctly, first-hand. And I loved getting to use El's powers to look in on Eddie, so while they might not know where he is, they did know that he seemed to be doing okay out there in the world. Also, if I could go back and change one thing about it, I'd fix that I said Eddie's never had an acoustic guitar. I didn't notice his acoustic in his room until my re-watch. Oh well. This version of Eddie didn't, I guess, lol. (This might be from the second part, Eddie's POV. But still. It's my Roman Empire. I think of this mistake at least once a week and beat myself up. If I'd been on Tumblr at the time, I feel this would have never happened, because someone would have blogged about it, drawing my attention to it, surely.)

How do/did you feel writing Never Not Mine?

This one is heavily inspired by the Taylor Swift song imgonnagetyouback. It was fun to dig into a slightly angstier world for a bit. Because things don't always work out, or if they do, not always the first time around. I like to think they'll find each other again, in any universe, but they might not take the easiest path. They aren't perfect, and that's realistic.

What was the most difficult part of writing Let the Boy Be Merry?

Crying while writing it. This one slapped me around a little while writing. Life isn't always as romantic as fic leads us all to believe which, the audacity, honestly, lol, but the kind of love and relationship in this fic? That feels real to me. Old, and familiar, and even as well as you know a person, you can't read their mind. You don't always get what the other needs immediately, you don't get how important things can be to them, but figuring out how to compromise is love. Real, lasting love.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

This question was hard! I'm gonna pick two from Tuesday's: For the first, I cried while writing and then cried again while editing the scene where Eddie and Steve hash out how serious their relationship is, and realize they've kind of been on different pages. There are two scenes in Tuesday's that got to me, and made me cry while writing them, over and over, and I don't even know why. (The other is Gareth picking that fight with Steve. Yeah, yeah, I know. Neither of these parts are the saddest parts of Tuesday's. But they stripped me raw, for whatever reason.) And a second, more fun, favorite: I'm gonna go with the scene where Eddie's naked and tripping on mushrooms in the backyard while Steve hangs out with him, and Eddie thinks they've written "Tom Sawyer" by Rush. That was so fun, and just a feel good write, if that makes sense. That whole summer they spent at the lake I look back on writing fondly. They are so in love there. They are all happy. And this scene is carefree in a way that they won't always be, due to circumstances coming down the pipe.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I run @corrodedcoffinfest and I've got a whole list of planned pop-up events coming up over the next few months for that. Steddie is absolutely welcome, so if anyone would like a little more Corroded Coffin works in their life, consider coming to join us! I also finally updated my masterlist, so everything I've written for Stranger Things is finally gathered together. There's a lot that's still only on Tumblr and not on Ao3 at this point.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Thanks so much for including me and my works in this! And to the person who nominated me, thank you, thank you! You really made my day. It was fun to think about these fics again, and answer these questions. I've really enjoyed writing for Steddie, and I've also enjoyed making friends in the fandom. Thanks for welcoming me. Thanks for showing my fics love, and commenting or leaving kudos or reblogging. Just, thank you all so much. And I'm sorry if these answers were too long, lol. As a habitual "end notes" kind of writer, that's just the way I roll. 

Thank you to our author, @thisapplepielife, and our anonymous nominator! See more of thisapplepielife's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[kingkatsuki]

can we talk about virgin bakugou? 👉👈 my brain is rotting imagining a 30 year old pro hero bakugou still being completely new to sex (and serious relationships in general maybe?)

idk i guess think it’s cute imagining him doing all of this extensive “research” online about how to pleasure you? because he’s gotta be the best at everything and all that

This is literally like my constant😂😭 a friend a while ago wrote a fic about Bakugou being terrible at sex and having to like dumb down what to do to please you because he didn’t have a clue and I will die on this hill that he’s like that at first.

Like he’s so used to being naturally good at everything he tries, but this is on a whole other level. Because he knows he needs to learn, but how can he focus on learning when you look so pretty beneath him— not to mention the sounds.

You end up asking him one evening months into your relationship why you’ve never gone any further than kissing and dry humping. Worried that he might not be into you like you are with him and that’s the final straw for him.

He’s determined not to look stupid around you, he doesn’t want to fuck things up. So he’s scouring the internet for information about positions, g-spots and how to find the clit. Surprised at just how little he’s really learnt from those porn videos he used to watch as a randy teenager.

But there’s so much conflicting information online, and everyone’s got a fucking opinion he doesn’t even know where to start?

And finally one evening when he sees how dejected you are when he pulls away from your heavy petting and you think it’s because he doesn’t like you (when really you’re about to make him cum in his pants), he finally works up enough courage to tell you the real reason he hasn’t tried to take it further yet.

And instead of you shying away, or making fun of him for still being a virgin into his thirties— you’re giving him the most sultry look as you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders to tell him that you can learn together.

[burins]

Hi! I need the director's cut for "get out before the drop" please!

oh MAN. thank you for asking about get out before the drop! the jaydick topdrop fic is one of my favorite things I've written. i've been a little reluctant to talk about my jaydick fics because part of me was worried i was going to get death threats in my inbox and i got enough of that at work. but fuck it! i'm very proud of those fics- I think they're some of my best characterization work.

i wrote the bulk of get out before the drop on my phone at 2 AM after waking up in the middle of the night (like all the best fics: while slightly possessed.) like everything i write it's about bodies, but it's also about identity and boundaries and how your own understanding of those can smash up against someone else's. i say that not because i generally set out to write fics that are capital A About Things, this isn't an episode of degrassi, but it's kind of obvious what themes I had rattling around in the trunk.

continuing the rest of this below the cut (including discussion of consent and sexual assault)

obviously it's also a fic about consent. I said this in a few comments but I think fandom often sticks to one kind of story about consent-- which i absolutely understand. your standard rape recovery fic is a very cathartic story for many, many people! but in real life your partner is not a perfect fuck machine who dispenses sex in exactly the way you want it, in part because they are a human being and not a mind-reader. but also in part because for anyone, but particularly for survivors, it is often difficult to tell the difference between "this is uncomfortable but in a good and healing way" and "oh god i gotta eject." and that's no one's fault! learning to listen to your body again after ignoring its signals for a long time is hard, and it sucks, and sometimes you learn where your boundaries are by whacking right up against them.

that's all general; in particular i wanted to write that kind of story for dick and jason, who are two people who have lost control of their bodies innumerable times and in incredibly dramatic ways. i think that has got to fuck with your head unbelievably! i think dick in particular is extremely used to pushing through physical discomfort to get what he wants to achieve, whether that's a mission objective or a training goal or emotional closeness. he's been doing it since he was a kid on the aerial bars! he started out ignoring his body way before the multiple on-page sexual assaults that DC doesn't want to acknowledge as sexual assaults. and also all of the mind control, of which there is so much that i wrote a whole other fic about it.

jason, on the other hand, I think is someone who tells himself one story: he has very carefully forged his body into exactly what he wants it to be, which is a weapon. and he is determinedly not thinking about the ways in which he has had absolutely no control over his body (his death, his resurrection, the pit-related changes.) the story Jason tells himself is actually quite similar to the one Dick is clinging to, which is another reason I love to write about them.

a side note: I'm of the school that doesn't ascribe to long term pit madness. I think Jason comes out of the pit a little crazy in ways that have everything to do with profound trauma and very little to do with supernatural whammies. he makes his own choices immediately after coming back and they are bad ones. I think taking that agency from him makes the story much less satisfying and much less tragic. and there's plenty of other ways he loses agency! he died!

all of this was rattling around my head while I was writing. but then I had to actually end the fic. which I struggled with! I was worried the ending - where Dick says alright, let's go again, redo - would come off too pat. but I also didn't want to fall into the trap of making dick a weeping damsel. (fandom's general desire to make dick grayson experience misogyny could be an essay in its own right.) and ultimately I'm happy with where I ended it! it is almost certainly a bad idea for them to jump right back into sex after both of them had panic attacks. and what is jaydick but not a bunch of bad ideas that somehow end up working out.

this post is so long. I didn't even get into the identity stuff, but I feel like that is much more on the surface of the fic and I kind of said what I wanted to say in the fic itself. thank you for asking!

director's commentary meme!

[lambergeier]

oh yeah I GOTTA get commentary on the new good good. let's do... the first part of the poker game. "What the fuck is wrong with you two?" through to "...Miles was forced to find other things to be annoyed about."

yessss let's do this

“So, what the fuck is wrong with you two?” he asks as Kristoph throws his head back and laughs.

okay so when planning out this fic, i knew basically right away what the first three and last two scenes would be (bad :)), and then i knew that in the middle i wanted a scene with trucy and a scene with kristoph. trucy, because it's not a meaningful depiction of phoenix as a character if you're not also looking at his relationship with his daughter, and kristoph because there wasn't fucking ANY krisnix in in better light and that was a criminal act. it was a criminal act that we wrote a whole aa4 au without any tangible krisnix. so, time to fix that!

emma in particular enjoys the interpretation of krisnix that is like, phoenix genuinely liked this guy once. he really didn't want all those crimes to be his. so that's what i went with, and it dovetailed perfectly with the plot need at this point in the story, which is "be ominous af and also call into question phoenix's self-image." thanks kris!

read more lol this bitch got long

Phoenix and Kristoph’s Thursday night poker game (weekly, with allowances for international conference calls and Kaiju attacks) takes place in an unused office high in the Dome, overlooking the catwalks and the Jaegers’ great bowed heads. They show up in their civvies, except when they don’t, and play for the same ten twenty-dollar-bills handed back and forth over the last three and a half years, except when they don’t. Phoenix tenderly nurses a single beer over the course of the night because if he drinks anything more than that Miles will start stumbling into walls. Phoenix hasn’t had a cocktail since he was 26. He hopes dark and stormies miss him as much as he misses them.

phoenix, prevented by his loving and very complicated relationship from becoming an alcoholic in this universe, as miles was prevented from making a sincere effort to kill himself (sad!), will make up for lost time post-fic, mostly by returning to the loving arms of rum cocktails with such intensity that he speed runs alcoholism and ends up sober again within like two and a half years. sorry buddy, non-alcoholic beers be upon ye <3.

phoenix and kristoph don't play for real money because a) not a good way to run a regular two-person poker night, b) they have too much disposable income (all their costs being paid for by the PPDC lol) to make most money below "crazy amounts" super meaningful, c) phoenix is the better card player and would have to work SO much harder if they played no limit/pot limit to make sure he wasn't taking an amount of money from kristoph that would cause kristoph to mail him anthrax. fixed bet is easier all around!

“It’s exactly as we said this afternoon, honored Flight Commander,” Kristoph says, eyes down, cutting the deck with a slick smile. He’s fresh out of the shower, cleaned and pressed and lightly steamed. Phoenix, conversely, smells like a refinery fire. “Klavier experienced a serious heartbreak recently. A temporary hiccup in our drift stability. Nothing to worry about.”

i typed and deleted so many more overtly homosexual descriptors of kristoph in this scene lmao. it was so difficult. like obviously krisnix is real and phoenix wants to chew kristoph's throat (sexually), but i do not believe that phoenix would ever cheat on miles in the situation we have set up here, or even think about it particularly hard, PLUS this is a very short, streamlined fic and we Do Not Have Time For All That.

also like yeah blah blah blah fic about all the things phoenix knows and lies to himself about, the extent of his attraction to kristoph is likely unknown even to him, things he doesn't know or doesn't want to know don't show up in narration because he's In Control blah blah metatextual reason to not have put the gay shit in. but also oh my god the scene was so long already. and they're already SO horny for each other

“Oh, please,” Phoenix says, leaning carefully back in his chair. The aches of the day are beginning to compound—Miles’ quivering hands plus Phoenix’s failing back times a brewing fatigue that could be either of them. “Don’t embarrass yourself. I used to drift with Miles. You think we never dealt with some heightened emotion in the drift?” Kristoph raises a pale eyebrow. He says, “Surely you're not referring to—” Phoenix laughs “Yeah, yeah, c’mon you rat bitch, hit me—” “—The time you conspired to send his adopted father and former commanding officer to die in prison?” “Where I hope he fucking rots,” Phoenix says sweetly and grins. “Deal the cards, Ranger Has-Been.”

one of kristoph's favorite jibes. haha you're actually quite the rage-filled angel of vengeance when you want to be, aren't you, wright? 🤨🏳️‍🌈🔪❓ he doesn't really get tired of it!

Kristoph does so, with the smooth professionalism of a chronic gambler.

not necessarily a trait supported by AJ canon, but i stand by it. i think he's got that shit on a tight leash but he does still, by his word and deed, got it.

Miles dislikes Phoenix’s poker nights for myriad reasons—he thinks it’s wildly inappropriate to gamble with a subordinate; he maintains but has never admitted to a lifelong jealous streak; at the end of the day, he’s just never liked Kristoph that much. That part Miles admits to pretty frequently. But poker nights have withstood it all. For the first few months Phoenix simply swam through Miles’ distaste like a catfish through unhappy, very passive-aggressive waters. When Kristoph failed to set down his cards and propose a rousing twenty minutes of oral sex at any point during their games, Miles was forced to find other things to be annoyed about.

miles: vividly aware that in another life phoenix and kristoph were fucking nightly in a rainbow of dubiously-consensual manners. also miles: completely unable to articulate this without sounding like a lunatic. he knows tho. he knows.

i mean honestly in THIS universe miles has to be quite aware that not only does his partner really look forward to these nights alone with his handsome pilot friend, phoenix is also getting something from this guy (acknowledgement that he's a piece of shit and will continue to be one) that miles absolutely cannot give him in the same way. who wouldn't be resentful! who wouldn't be resentful of having to sit in the back of the theater every night and watch this shit happen! especially if you are having an atrociously bad time with your own life at the same time, continuously!

by word of god (me and emma's fevered IRL conversations), breaking the drift and marrying phoenix does solve all of edgeworth's jealousy problems forever, just so everyone knows. post-in better light phoenix goes to visit kristoph in jail to have intensely erotic discussions about death and culpability, twenty feet apart, no touching, and when phoenix comes home miles is like "so did you fuck him?"

phoenix, frozen in his hobble up the stairs, genuinely unable to tell if what he just did was 'fucking': uhhhhhhhhh

miles with full, complete sincerity, in the absolute true confidence that he and phoenix will die before they break up again: it doesn't matter to me if you did. but you should probably know for your own planning purposes

miles: in case he tries to babytrap you, perhaps

[snowsays]

on my knees hands clasped together in front of me pleading for you to infodump about your fic in which vertina is jolie’s human wife

oh noo, I fear you're gonna be disappointed 😖😖 the fic is not about them 👉🏻👈🏻 im not even sure if they would have appeared

it's actually a sokeefe fic that consumed my brain for -checks notes- four whole days, in which I wrote 8.4k words. I got inspired by this AU. I have actually mentioned it a little before in this blog, I asked for headcanons on what each member of the gang would study/wear/like, because it's a human!college!au, and I actually made a pinterest board with fashion inspo for Biana, Sophie, Keefe and Fitz lmao (you can check it out here if you wanna) and a spotify playlist for Biana and Sophie like those you can make with a friend where spotify automatically fills it with music according to the tastes of each of you

so basically my general idea was that Sophie and Keefe meet at a party where they make out and then the next day they bump into each other at Everglen for spring break. I was writing it on the go bc I hadnt written fanfiction in 12 years (something got into my brain last year and I had an idea for an Eragon fanfic, wrote like a page then got busy, and now this one) so I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to happen which was: make out/have sex at party so its real awkward the next day at everglen (I basically got to this point before the brainrot stopped), couple nightly accidental meetups bc neither of them can sleep, talk about their trauma??, have sex again??, and that was it 😂

but me being me, I got really into making it make sense. So the ~Lore~ I came up with was:

The Reuwens adopted Sophie and Amy after the Fosters died in a fire (cuz we gotta keep it in theme right?)

Jolie lives, and is happily married with Vertina. Fuck Brady (didnt think too much about what happened to him, but maybe he couldve gone to jail?)

Jolie is an adult and out of the house ofc, she's still 15 years older than Sophie

The Reuwens have an animal sanctuary, I was thinking horse sanctuary also inspired by another fanfic I read (but that one was a Haikyuu one)

Sophie drives an old pick-up truck, and Biana has a Suzuki Vitara Live (which she got to spite Luzia Vacker, who is her great-aunt and very conservative. It was a compromise, Biana wanted a Ram pick-up bc Luzia was all "ladies should only drive small cars" but Della and Alden got her to accept the Suzuki) (< that was inspired by my own experience with a family friend who wanted me to sell him my Renault Sandero Stepway and he would give me a Chevrolet Spark bc it was "better for girls")

Foxfire is a college

Sophie, Biana and Stina are roommates. They rent an apartment together (they're in third year, Sophie transferred to Foxfire in second year and got placed as Biana's roommate, who wasnt happy bc she hadnt had one before, but they became friends after helping each other with classes stuff)

Likewise, Fitz, Keefe, Dex and (I was still deciding if) Tam live together in a house (it's Cassius')

Sophie and Biana dont like Stina and she doesnt like them either

Sophie ends up going with Biana to Fitz and Keefe's party bc Stina goaded her about being boring, and then also ends up in Keefe's room to spite Stina

Sophie and Stina are both studying to be veterinarians (the college situation is a mix of how I know american colleges work and how they work in my country)

Biana I was thinking fashion design and/or art. Keefe also art

Also I got an anon after I asked for hcs that mentioned poli-sci/law for Fitz but also culinary so I was thinking he started poli-sci/law at Alden's behest (like Alvar) but then changed majors to culinary. I was thinking to give him and Biana issues with parental expectations and all that (but probably not super detailed)

Dex's major was mechanical ingeneering, and also he and Biana are dating

Also the reason Sophie was spending spring break with Biana and not the Reuwens was that Jolie and Vertina were in their honeymoon, and Grady and Edaline got excited so Sophie and Amy convinced them to go on their own couples trip, and then Amy made plans with her roommate so Biana invited Sophie to Everglen

No one knew Keefe was gonna go too. I was thinking he had a fight with Cassius about the party the morning after so Fitz told him to just go to Everglen with him

and I think that was it. i'm sorry it wasnt more joliexvertina centric, I hope you enjoyed it anyway

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Truly sorry people have forgotten the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" adage. But also that others are sending you the not so nice things that are being said. Like, that definitely kinda sucks too. Best to you and focusing on things that make you happy!

Oh god everyone's being so nice now I'm so embarrassed.

You're very kind dear. Well the people sending me stuff are only sending me nice things! At least on the main post! But then there will be comments or replies that complain about it - oh I don't like them anymore because they wrote BT, etc.

(Side note - BT stands for BuckTaylor so people using it for BuckTommy - dear GOD please stop. The ship names are confusing enough with y'all picking like ten of them. Please. I am smol and confuséd.)

So the people sending this stuff are well-intentioned. I only meant to explain why (among many other reasons) I won't listen to the (again, well-intentioned) people who say oh my gosh you're missing out on all the kind things people are saying on these other sites! I appreciate all that kindness, really I do and I'm so very lucky to have such enthusiasm and such love for my writing. But I would honestly rather miss out on some of it if it means that I'm protected from seeing the more spoiled or bad faith actors. I have seen very very little 'discourse' over this whole ship war that's sprung up and I'm glad for that, but part of how I've avoided it is by purposefully staying very much in my lane, not go looking through tags, and honestly even deeply limiting who I follow.

Honestly I don't let it usually bother me. 90% of people are so kind and lovely, and I know that the people being angry are not the majority. And I doubt that most of the people complaining even view it as all that deep, they're just venting because they're annoyed and being overly dramatic as we tend to be in fandom because acting overly dramatic is how we do everything around here (hell knows I do it too). I'm just really struggling in my 'real life' and having a bad day so it just kind of got to me, especially since my next three fics are BuddieTommy and I won't be publishing any Buddie until Halloween, and I was feeling kinda low like great, I'm gonna publish these and people will talk shit I guess. Not fun! I gotta say!

But I am and will be okay. I honestly did not expect my inbox to explode the way it just did when I vented in those tags. I, uh, don't expect people to care? that much? which sounds bad but I just mean that I don't expect people to pay all that much attention to me. So it's very sweet that people are sending me love and support.

Thank you for your kindness and thank you to everyone else. I really don't want this to be a Thing so I'm answering all other asks privately. Thank you dears.

[queenofbaws]

Someone snagged top 5 vhawke moments so how about top 5 things to write for vhawke? (Tropes, plot lines, banter, whatever)

oooooOOOOOOOH this one is delicious, thank you audrey 🥹

bed sharing bed sharing bed sharing. i am but a simple woman (with a fatigue disorder). bed sharing is my ultimate weakness, i fold like wet cardboard every time. first of all. there are so many OPPORTUNITIES to bring bed sharing into a vhawke fic. they're always runnin' around! always gettin' up to shenanigans! they gotta rest EVENTUALLY! or they're always hanging out at the hanged man, drinking. sometimes you GOTTA sleep a rough night off at your bff's place 😏 AND they're always going on fetch quests for [insert important npc]. maybe it rains. maybe you gotta camp out in a cave. or the sundermount summit. or the deep roads. and are you really packing multiple bedrolls? i mean, seriously???????? the opportunities are endless, and they're all PRIMO. FIC. FODDER.

FANCY! PARTIES!!!!!! okay this one is like. this one is complicated for me because it comes with a second trope, but they're so intertwined i have trouble separating them, lmao. that second trope is, for lack of an official name i guess, 'zip me up,' or helping someone else get dressed (or UNdressed, i'm not here to tell you what to do) FOR a fancy party. hawke and varric having to navigate some big, fancy shindig (think halamshiral, think chateau haine, think whatever is expected of them after they're kirkwall's ruling family lol) is just. the ideal for me. champagne. expensive clothing. INTRIGUE??? hehehe it's literally the WHOLE reason i wrote the durellion affair - because i genuinely couldn't get enough of it and had to put more into the world salkdjfsdkf

banter. like. these two are just. a goldmine. for witty back and forth. asdkljflskdjf i love getting to write them as like, kirkwall's most criminal improv duo. i mean when you really get down to it, that's...pretty much who they are, right? right??? but - and here's the secret sauce - the banter can't simply stand on its own. nononononono. the banter must be a cover for Actual Feelings and Thoughts. the banter must be Armor. when you can let juuust enough of the real stuff shine through the zingers? *chefs kiss*

the oh. oh. moment. it's so WEIRD, because TYPICALLY when i write shippier stuff, i tend to sort of hover around mostly-established-couple territory, but when it comes to these two, god help me, i keep coming back to the moment of realization. like aw shit. oh maker. this...this is going to be...okay. okay i can handle this. just. just in love with my best friend. okay. all right. why not. everything else is on fire, let's light this one up too askdfjksdjf honestly i think a huge part of that is that we don't GET a moment like that in the game, so there's just so many POSSIBILITIESSSSSS (and i'm gonna continue dumping those possibilities on the internet at large until bioware stays my evil hand)

the skyhold reunion. i mean. i mean. just. after everything they've been through up until that point? after how long they've been apart???? the skyhold reunion. 🥲

[kiwiana-writes]

okay I just have to say this. like I know it's kinktober but I'm sorry alex and henry love each other??? there's no way they'd enjoy things like free use. I think your writing is amazing and I love that you write them loving each other and not being all degrading and stuff but yeah

*Aaron Burr voice* ...okay, so we're doing this.

First of all: You did not, under any circumstances, "just have to say this". You literally didn't. You read something on AO3 that you didn't enjoy, either followed the link to my tumblr or already follow me on here idk, clicked the link to send an ask, wrote out this little kinkshaming tantrum, toggled anon on, and hit send. Those are all choices you made. Own them. As someone who is an asshole at least 40% of the time, you've gotta own when you're being an asshole. Trust me.

Second of all: You are, very genuinely, welcome to interpret/headcanon Alex and Henry's sex life however you want. I feel like this sounds like sarcasm through text, but I mean it. My interpretation of them as people who would be into some freaky stuff is no more or less valid than someone who thinks they never do anything more hardcore than that necktie after the gala in Berlin. If the characterisation doesn't land for you, then it doesn't land for you. That's cool. Not all fic will work for all readers.

Third of all: From the bottom of my heart, fuck off.

The back button exists for a reason. It has existed for at least the length of kinktober 2023, I assure you. You are not, at any point, required to engage any further with a fanfic that you are not vibing with, whether that's because of the premise or the characterisation or the writing style or any other reason. But by the same token, writers are not required to write the things that cater to your sensibilities specifically. There is so much tender lovemaking out there for this pairing. A lot of it is excellent. Go find it and enjoy.

But more than that... I don't know how to tell you that a whole bunch of real life people get off on a whole bunch of stuff that isn't romantic and sanitised, and a whole bunch of people explore those things inside of relationships in which they are very much in love, and those two things are only connected insofar as loving someone makes it easier to trust them with the weirder parts of yourself. Real life people who are deeply in love with their partners get off on free use, or being verbally degraded, or being slapped, or any number of other things that may yuck your personal yum. Unless you're fucking them, it has less than nothing to do with you. Get over it.

[evilwickedme]

Losing my mind at the kids reading Bruce/Batman fic

No cause I actually think about this stuff all the time. The Waynes are celebrities!!! Depending on your preference they could be international celebrities or local celebrities, but Bruce and Tim have both been the CEO of an international conglomerate worth billions, Bruce at the very least has to have been on the cover of TIME magazine and had a billion interviews about how-to-be-successful even though, you know, he's the definition of a nepo baby. So between the Waynes and the Batman being two of the most important cultural exports from Gotham, and the fact that WE openly funds Batman, there's gotta be some really good stuff in the celebrity and superhero RPF fandoms, right? It's just sort of obvious that people will start shipping them

So. Who brings it to the Batfam's attention? There are several possible avenues. I personally think it makes the most sense for Tim or Steph to have found it. They're both around 17-19, they went to school and had friends, so yeah, they're on social media. Tim has to have an online presence that's semi professional and so has a secret second account on all websites and apps, but Steph goes full fucking feral on main. I think Tim gets @ - ed a lot by weirdos, including people tagging him in their Tim Drake/YN fanfiction (sidenote do not do this in real life. Please don't do this in real life), but for that reason it might actually be that his blacklist is a mile long. Like he simply cannot see the word fanfiction on his Twitter feed. So Steph is the one that finds the one million BruBats fanfiction. She sees it mentioned and hunts it down. And then she sends it in the batkids GC and shit EXPLODES

Dick is very much like, a person with better things to do than be a weird gremlin online and he's never actually seen a fanfic before. He's heard of it because he gets asked weird things sometimes, but this is effectively his introduction to the world of fic and he's horrified. He steals Damian's phone so he won't see it which just makes Damian all the more curious and determined to read it. It gets physical

Steph and Tim take turns reading it out loud to Cass (Steph does Batman's voice, Tim voices Bruce) who finds the whole thing a little baffling. Neither Brucie nor Batman are particularly similar to her adoptive father and the concept of fic is a little out of her wheelhouse, although Steph does a very good job explaining the basic terms and reasons for its existence to her

Babs knew all along. This wasn't new to her. She's read worse things while doing research for cases

Duke reads the whole thing in one sitting (ish, it's really long). It's actually really good and he leaves some really thoughtful comments on the characterization and slow burn. The author doesn't reply but does cherish those comments forever

Jason wrote it Jason doesn't interact with the GC but babs literally hacked his phone to prevent him from leaving it so he opens it once a week to mark it as read and leave and he happens to open it in the middle of this shit going down and decides to check it out. He accidentally clicks on the relationship tag however and sees things you can't unsee. He literally runs over his phone and vows to go off the grid from now on

[concernedbrownbread]

Hi I read your This Unbearable Tragedy and I’m having a blast! And yes please I would like to hear your thoughts on your fic

OMG thanks for asking!! Sorry for the late reply. I had so much to say that I wrote wayyy too much and then had to cut it down, lol.

(Also for those reading the fic rn, Chapter 3 is delayed to next weekend.)

So, the main things that I immediately thought of when I started planning a fix-it was "there's not enough Ben in s4" and "why would they set Allison and Reginald up to parallel each other and not follow through?" and also "that is NOT where I saw these characters going". In essence, I thought that s3 was setting up a certain narrative with all of this and then was like ???? when they went (haha) off the rails. So I'll talk about those three points below. SPOILERS for the fic and s4. It's a long post!

Before I start: one of the major points of this fic (and s4 ig) is that timelines are spilling into each other. That doesn't just mean artifacts. It means people. The Keepers get memories of other timelines. Why shouldn't Ben and Reginald?

Character Arcs

Yeah ... I think the general consensus was that the characters weren't themselves in s4. I actually had no problems with the set-up in ep 1-2, but then ... Five and Lila happened. And the narrative seemed to hate Diego, reduce Luther to a himbo and not much else, and for some reason try very hard to make Reginald a dad to Viktor. Klaus, Allison and Claire had a kind of nice sideplot but I didn't love it. It tortured Klaus for no real reason and made Allison his saviour? And for what?

Anyway, for my fic, I start off the characters the same with some subtle differences.

We don't see Diego at his job. His job is to be a dad. That's his whole thing, that's the best part of him. He's a brother and he's a father, and the narrative will reward him for that

Lila starts by screaming. Can you tell she's NOT okay? She deserves a break and a breakdown, and she'll get both I swear. She is NOT a house wife because she simply wouldn't be. She loves working. I did almost make Diego a househusband though

Side note on Lila's parents: they don't exist because why on earth would Allison think of that and not think of bringing Sissy back? It's clear her fantasy timeline is selfish.

Luther is a stripper still but again, his job is a side note. His first scenes is with Klaus (which, again, was a relationship set up in s3 and never explored??). He's trying damn hard to keep his family together and I want people to appreciate that!!

Allison's first scene is still the studio, but I wanted to expand it to include Klaus. Her story is still of love.

Also Klaus has his own place because he has goddamn agency in this narrative. He and Luther deserve to have a home of their own, and they'd make hilarious roomates imo.

Ray of course, exists

Five is interesting to me because while it makes sense for him to be in the CIA, I can't see him staying with the CIA. This will be explored in ch5. I have a really cool piece written for him.

Viktor my beloved <3 I have no notes, I just want to say I love him. I will of course not let him near Reginald unless to beat Reginald up.

Anyway, I'm going to write a whole separate post for the characters. You opened the Pandora's box anon!

Ben (and Klaus)

I gotta say ... I tried, I really tried, to like Jennifer. She's just such a non-character. We know very little about her, her trauma barely gets explored, the Squid is stupid because all it does is exist and then Ben is like "hehe I have tentacles too! Means we're connected" WHAT?

I was excited for Jennifer. Curious about the Jennifer Incident. Very vindicated when I learned Reginald killed them because lets face it, that's super in-character. But I just ... couldn't get behind Jennifer. So I scrapped her.

Look, if there was anyone that Ben was going to be soulmates with, it was Klaus (platonically).

I mean, isn't that what we learned over two seasons? That Ben and Klaus are inseparable?

(I also don't get the whole Durango thing. TUA has never been all that science-y but at least they tried, but this season they didn't care at all. They really just threw in matter/dark-matter and pretended it was something.)

Anyway, I also don't understand why the fact that Ben was DEAD in another timeline is never bought up properly. In fact, Ben is barely bought up by the siblings? After they discuss his death, they all go off on their own. Viktor's the only one who seems to care (which is fine, I love Viktor and seeing him try to reach out to Ben was nice). Five and Diego are fighting each other during their fight against Ben??? Doesn't make sense - Five saves Ben in s3, Diego hugs Ben so tightly in s2, WHERE. IS. THE. PAYOFF.

(I think that is really what I hated about s4. There is no payoff to all that was built in s1-3. They bring in whole new narrative points without concluding the old ones, and then everyone dies. The end. UGH.)

Anyway, MY BEN needs his Klaus. His memories are a little janky, because timelines, but there has always been one constant. There has always been Klaus. I think even in childhood, they were close (and I'll try to explore that more in the memories). More than that though, Ben needs his FAMILY.

And he might deny that they are his family, but they are. And they will do so much to help him. Including, but not limited to, BEATING REGINALDS ASS (/j)

Allison and Reginald's choice

Okay, the final scene in s3 where we see Allison & Ray and Reginald & Abigail made me think that s4 was going to take this further. Allison and Reginald both made a selfish choice - not in resetting the timeline, but in directly going against the wishes of the loved ones they magicked into the timeline. Ray in s3 is very clear that though he loves her, and will always love her, his place is in Dallas 1963, where he has people he cares about. A life he cares about. Abigail is a bit more subtle, but I remember thinking that it was clear that she wanted to die/was content with dying. I was a pretty casual fan then so I don't know if this was true, but that was the vibes I got from s1, and I was pretty happy that s3 confirmed it just ... not in the way I wanted? I don't mind she destroyed the world because she wanted to die - it's clear Abigail and Reginald think themselves above human lives. I just wish they explored it more.

And again, this parallel was something I got from just the ending of s3. It wasn't a deepdive or anything. I feel like it was such an obvious choice for s4 to go "What happens if you can't let go of the person you love?" And then ... they don't even mention Ray properly. Damn.

I just don't understand why they didn't do it? They set it up so perfectly. UGHHHH.

The main reason Ray exists in my fic is because Allison has to reckon with the fact that she really did pull Ray out of his time, out of his life. And I want her to realise how awful a choice that was. At the same time, I want Reginald to face the exact same thing and choose to do the opposite - hold onto Abigail tighter. Chapter 3 is going to explore a bit more of Allison and Ray, while further down the line we'll see more and more of Abigail.

(ALSO OMG!!! Abigail and Five parallel each other in wayyy more interesting ways than Reginald and Five. I cannot WAIT to write that. But this is more a headcanon hehehehe.)

Other Notes

I think s1-3 set up a lot of things that I assumed was going to be explored and wasn't. I'm going to try and touch upon all of them

the Jennifer Incident felt lacking. s1-2 really were so good because there was a slight mystery to it all, and when there wasn't, there was a ton of dramatic irony - ofc we knew Viktor was the bomb, but it was interesting to see the family figure out that mystery. In the same way, ofc we know Ben is the bomb, but I really though s4 would allow the family to actively search for why and how to stop him. I'm more of a angst & fluff writer but I shall try to write some semblance of mystery here.

Marigold. I will explore. I have Thoughts. chapter 3 will answer more on why it was found by Ben in particular.

Relationships that were set up in s1 will be revisited because as the "last season" I expected it to be. Ofc, Klaus and Ben is the big one, but also Klaus-Diego, Viktor-Allison, Allison-Luther, Five-Viktor, etc. Some new ones will be there, especially with Ben who had little interactions (on account of him being a ghost) and with Lila.

Five continues to be old man on this side of crazy. Sometimes he has good advice. Other times his ideas are unhinged. Early chapters he's mellow because life is normal now but when things go to shit ... oh boy let's NOT forget how paranoid this guy is.

Lila is also a little crazy. Good for her.

Commission!Five is explained more than just a throwaway line in the Five Deli. Five Deli and the Subway is explored more too ofc.

DOLORES MENTIONED BECAUSE SHE IS GODDAMN IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDING FIVE. Not even as a "love story" (Five's love story is his familial one), just as a part of his psyche. She is mentioned in EVERY season. She deserves to be mentioned here.

Pogo. I will not say more.

Reginald. Is Reginald.

Anyway, I have a lot more to say but I'll stop here. Sorry this is so long! Thanks for the ask <3

[jaysehasnograce]

11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

15. Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?

16. What do you struggle with most when writing?

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

(feel free to answer all or pick and choose ;w;)

11. I feel like what makes a fic 'successful' depends on the fandom. Smaller fandoms/ships my expectations for interaction will be smaller, but more popular things I def will be a bit sad and feel like the fic isn't successful if there isn't much interaction.

Either way, it's definitely interaction-based. Comments ESPECIALLY make me feel like I've successfully written something good, though views/bookmarks/kudos also contribute.

15. Yeah! Well, it depends on what you mean by irl. All my friends know I write fic, but they're all long-distance. My therapist knows, but that's telehealth. One of my sisters knows, but I don't talk to her anymore. I've told my grandmother and nana in the sense that I just explained the concept rather than using the word so they Sort Of Know? I think my parents know I wrote HP fanfic at uni, but I don't remember for sure and I don't talk to them either.

So yeah, that's probably a yes.

16. I struggle the most with action for sure!! Anything that requires action or heavy plot that isn't character-driven, I just struggle like hell with. Which is unfortunate because i LOVE action and plotty things and casefics, etc. But I just can't do it myself. I'm good at people and emotions and trauma, and also sex lol but I mostly do that on my other account. Gotta play to my strengths!

17. I recently felt proud of finishing my rewrite of my first fic!!!! I'll be making a post on this tumblr for it when I actually finish posting it to ao3, but it's already up on wattpad bc it was a LOT more popular over there, which was the whole reason I rewrote it. I was like look, if literally a million people now have read this i don't want THIS, my FIRST book ever, to be the face of What My Writing Is Like. My writing has improved SO MUCH in the last 8yrs, and so I just needed to update it if people were insistent on reading that one over everything else!

I love how it turned out, I fixed the plot holes, i made it just an overall richer story, and I think it just turned out great.

Also, I've been struggling to write AT ALL in the past like 4 months, because of mental health stuff, so I was just so so happy to be writing again AND to finish something!

[morning-sun-brah]

Okay so I've just GOTTA know... how the hell do you write the way you do?? I haven't been able to get sucked into any written work since high school, trauma brain and all. I used to live in books so it's been hell, but your writing got me back into reading, and makes it so I can get lost into that little world again, which I've craved but been able to have for like... so long. Writing is something I've always been into, but I let my fear of failure and need for perfection stop me. Just... do you have any advice for beginners?? It would mean the world to me, but I understand if it's an annoying ask! Thanks for reading no matter what!

Well I am just a mess reading this (in the best way possible).

First of all, thank you so much omfg. And of COURSE it isn't annoying! This is so flattering I'm about to cry my dude.

As far as tips on writing, I feel like I am not the person to ask because I'm just this little weirdo on the internet who likes turtles lol. But!! In an attempt to try and give real advice here is my response... and it got a little wordy so it's all under the break lmaoooo.

~Gin's rambling attempt to give writing advice~

Practice! Literally the only reason I can string coherent words together is because I've been doing this as a hobby for like two whole decades.

Also!! Read! Consuming other fics and books really helps. Sometimes you find a way of saying something that sticks with you. Sometimes you sit and think "I would have done it this way/said it this way." Sometimes you come out on the other end and go "Wow I am a hack that was amazing." Sometimes you finish something and go "Wow that was fucking terrible I'm amazing." Sometimes you read something and it fires off your brain, and you are left itching to write your own story. But however you feel, it's all GOOD FOR WRITING. It helps you grow! It literally helps you find your voice!

Other little things; When I write, I truly immerse myself. I am playing out in cinema format what is happening in the "scene." How is this person reacting? How do they look- down to facial expressions. How are they feeling? Is this something they would say? (would they fucking say that??? is something I think to myself every time I open a doc) And when I write it all down, I try my very best to convey that "scene" that played out in my head. I try to capture that character's voice, their mannerisms, their habits.

Does this even make sense? I sure hope so.

Also, flow. Make sure we're moving right along. Keep track of where hands, legs, and torsos are. If they were sitting when the scene started, and you need them standing to kiss or fight or do a thumb war, at some point you need to make sure you say they stood up. If a hand was on a cheek, it can't suddenly be on an ankle without telling the reader what happened.

I also just think adding little details helps with immersion. When we talk to people, we don't just stand around. We fidget. We pick our nails or scratch our arms or shuffle our feet. All those little details can add to that immersion (or I think so, I'm no expert). "He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck before saying..." - Wow, what an awkward little shit. "They scrunched their nose and gave a near-violent eye-roll" - Oh ok they are annoyed! "She shifted her feet and replied"- cool she's being a person, I shift my feet too, neato.

Anyway, nothing I wrote 20 years ago is as good as it is now. I'm highly convinced that I'll think the same thing in another 10 years, about anything I've published recently. But it is getting better, and it's because I keep at it. Having friends in the fandom and beta readers really helps. Make sure you find someone who you know will be positive but honest. And remember, YOU are always going to be your own worst critic.

God why did anyone ever let me have access to a computer. Why the FUCK is this so long? Does it even make sense? Jfc, I'm going to post it and eat a fucking cookie.

I believe in you anon. Also, I love you and thank you so much for making my whole week. I'm going to be so obnoxious about this shit, everyone expect to hear from my ass an annoying amount (kidding, but seriously I'm so fucking flattered thank you so much. This kind of shit makes me wonder what the fuck you're all reading because I swear I am just a silly gal with seasonal depression who needs a haircut).

((Also, anon, I wish you nothing but the best. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that I am sending you like a million hugs))

[yobotica]

Fandom Homework

Idea by @razielim, I like the idea of sitting down and talking about the stuff I want to be working on! Mostly pretty rambly here, so I'll put it all beneath a cut:

It's all gonna be about the WIPs, baby! I think the thing that comes to mind most on 'boy I wish I could finish this' is actually the fallout AU I have for Assassin's Creed. ShaunDes, of course, but I think the ultimate plan was to try for OT3 with Clay on this one. I've never done it, but I get a lot of comments for that on my other fics and I think it would be interesting in this setting if I can make it work. I think the current plan for this one is more a sort of main 'how the group got together' vibe (all the moderns) and then snippets/side stories for some of their adventures. I do have an overall plot involving everyone figuring out who they are, secrets coming to light, etc. I just gotta get it all written is all.

Second is obviously to finish my in progress titanfall fic, which I usually just refer to as Weary, lol. While I've never once really felt pressured that updates are few and far between by comments on AO3, I sometimes regret posting it before it was finished. I never post WIPs as they're worked on because I am the slowest writer - once I get going, I can write pretty fast, it's just the getting started that trips me up. That, and i end up writing a lot of stuff that it turns out, it's not time for, or it's just not right for the story. I think I'm at like, over 15k words discarded for this fic overall, some of which has been repurposed/used already (just later than when it was originally written), but most of which has not. (Yet; I know at least two bits are just too early).

Third is a fic that is almost 10 years old and unfinished. It's only been posted up to chapter 10 on the assassin's creed kinkmeme, the last chapter of which was posted in 2016. It's almost complete, actually, sitting at just under 55.5k words, but I can't quite pin down the ending. Then it needs to be edited. Insert sad-cowboy emoji.

I'd really like to revisit my old DS9 stuff. I never published any of it on AO3 - in fact, I can't even remember if I've published any of it anywhere. It's some of the earliest stuff I've written, and it's pretty rough by my standards, but it's still something I'd like to get some time into and whip up into something readable at some point.

I want to learn how to draw transformers! I've wanted to for a while, but I recently watched Transformers One and it was gorgeous. There's a lot of different styles for the whole franchise, but I like that one a lot. That and Transformers Prime, which I haven't seen yet, lol. I'm a pretty recent fan, to be honest, but me and a friend have spent a lot of time making transformers OCs that I'd love to be able to draw just for fun. (It's the only reason I play Forza Horizon 5 at all, is to make the car forms for those that can be made in that game.)

I'd love to get works written for a few fandoms I've been into for a while, but never written for. Stuff like Dishonored, Legacy of Kain/Soul Reaver, Inception or even Dragon Age. Mostly based on vibes rather than concrete ideas (except for dishonored, which I have exactly one (1) idea that could be used for fic), but still. It's something I'd like to do.

Oh! I need to finish and edit the FFXV fic I have in progress! It could be considered complete enough, to be honest, but it feels incomplete to me for some reason. I wrote up to a certain point, then lost all steam. It's set post Episode Ignis alternate ending, a really, really cute and sweet fic.

I think one thing I'd like to do is maybe just post a collection on AO3 of my WIPs. I don't think of anything I've written as abandoned, even if it's been years since I looked at them, but I also do think some of it was pretty good! I don't know how readers feel about this, though.

I'd like to get more Deus Ex fic written, too. I had a few things perk my interested for kinktober but October was mostly a really shit month for me, so I got no writing done at all. I definitely don't mind using those prompts late or anything, but I still haven't got any creative juice for writing right now, so they're just sitting there, waiting for their time.

I've also had a few ideas that I think I might never write but maybe folks might be interested in hearing about or adopting themselves? Like prompts, maybe. Adoptable fic ideas. Mostly it's stuff I'd love to read but not research to write myself, but that feels a little selfish, lol. But I also just think they're fun to talk about and gush over even if they never actually get written.

I think this was nice to sit down and write out. I don't post very much about myself or my work, but I've enjoyed seeing people talk about things they'd like to get done or things they have in progress and thought I'd share. I'm wishing you all well and hoping you all have something creative you'd like to look forward to doing as well! <3

[ruby-sturn]

U My Everything

Summary: Chris love to help you out with everything and make sure you’re ok. Even if it’s just walking to the car, going to the restroom etc.

Even tho you and Chris have only been dating for 2 months, he’s always there to help you out, even if it’s for dumb reasons. Like the other day when he helped you just to go to the bathroom, and make sure you were ok.

Other day:

“I gotta go to the bathroom can you get off me real quick please?” You say. Chris stays quick and just follows you to the bathroom. When you were going to turn around to shut the door you saw Chris standing there. “Holy fuck, Chris! You scared me!” “I just wanna make sure you’re ok.” Chris says calmly and politely. “I can go to the bathroom myself.” You say. You weren’t trying to be rude, but Chris thought you were. “Are you mad at me?” Chris asks concerned. “No, no!” You say “but I’m telling you I’m able to go to the bathroom myself. I’m not 3.” “Ok well if their’s no problem between me and you, I’d like to sit in the bathroom with you.” Chris says. At this point you couldn’t even say no, he was being so polite.

Back to the present time.

You were surprised Chris hasn’t tried to do anymore of that sneaky shit, with following you around. Until you went upstairs. Since his brothers were gone he decided to set up a surprise for you. There was rose petals, with your favourite chocolate, Pepsi, a bunch of blankets, pillows and stuffies. “Awww. Chris you didn’t have to do this!” You say super happy. “Do you like it?” Chris says super proud of himself. “I love it Chris!” You go and lay down with Chris on the couch. “So what you wanna watch?” Chris asks. You already knew what movie he wanted to watch so you told me you wanted to watch Lorax. Once the movie was over, you decided to get DoorDash for the both of y’all. Chris saw that you were trying to but DoorDash, but he stopped you immediately. “Who the hell said you’re paying?!” Chris said confused. You responded with “well it’s the least I could do. You set up a whole movie night, and bought my favourite chocolate!” You say happily. “No.” Chris says “I’m paying. You’ve been amazing to me.” “Ok I guess you can pay.” Saying it with a sad tone, even tho you were very happy that you didn’t have to spend money. Once DoorDash arrived you and Chris started a new movie. Once that movie was over you guys decided to go to his room and just doom scroll till y’all were tired.

This one is also short and the most fuck ass one I wrote since it’s all over the place. But I wrote two other fics today that’s why it’s not that good. Love y’all 😘

[grassbreads]

Writer Interview Game

I was tagged for this by @torterrachampion . Thank you!!

Since this is my fandom-specific account, I'm going to keep these answers mostly limited to fanfiction.

When did you start writing?

I have been writing my entire life. I was one of those kids that was convinced I was going to write a novel at age 10 (although I never got further than a couple of chapters). For fanfiction specifically, the first fic I ever wrote was a halloween story project for middle school that I turned into D.Gray-man fanfiction. I started writing and publishing fic for real the following summer, when I was 14. (Much like the novels in elementary school, I never actually finished one of the longfics I started in high school).

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Big time lmao. A *lot* of the original fiction I read is horror, and although I've played around with the idea of writing a horror fic, I'm yet to find a good concept for one. I'm also a huge lover of long multi-chapter fics and elaborate AUs, but I publish mostly oneshots.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I honestly cannot remember ever having my work compared to specific other writers?

But as I said, I love elaborate longfic AUs yet really struggle to write them myself (long projects are my enemy), so I would sell my soul to be able to emulate the works of travelingneuritis or oxfordroulette, both of whom I really admire. I've written whole long posts before about how much oxfordroulette's Homestuck fics impressed and impacted me when I first read them like 6 years ago.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

My writing space is anywhere in my apartment :). Sometimes I write at my desk, but more often I'm curled up or crosslegged on my couch or futon. Gotta be cozy and comfy.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Since fic is a pretty casual hobby for me these days, I mostly just kinda write when inspiration strikes (hence why I publish roughly one fic per year). That said, rereading canon scenes featuring the characters I'm writing always helps me get their voice into my head.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I don't know if I write enough to have big recurring themes? I like writing about characters that aren't doing well mentally, but that's both broad and not always applicable.

I suppose it does always make me laugh when I see "Christmas" listed among my most-used tags on Ao3. I'm not even a christian, but I've written two fics set during christmas bc gift exchanges make for good fluff, and with my output, two times puts it in my top 10.

What is your reason for writing?

Sometimes a story worms its way into my brain so deeply that canon just isn't enough. I need to live in that world to a degree beyond what I can get from canon content alone. And when there isn't enough existing fic by others to scratch that itch, or when there isn't enough of the right *type* of existing fic, I simply have to sit down and make my own.

Also, writing fanfiction is fun :).

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I'd like to think I'm good at characterization, at least most of the time. And I think I'm good at making sure things flow.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I really like a majority of the things I've written, or at least the stuff I've written as an adult. My really old writing makes me cringe a little sometimes, but I look back on it fondly, and I still reread newer stuff like An Act of Trust and Idle God, Idol Gossip for my own amusement.

The brief answer is that overall, I'm quite proud.

If either of you are interested in joining, I'll tag @cinammonelles and @azapofinspiration :)