#that is NOT how you retire man

[last-pages]

all i can say is thank god for madney being happy right now.

[duckysprouts]

if you were at your worst, if you’re a villain or a screwup or whatever, there is a goth man dressed as a giant bat who keeps coming after you, bothering you. he sabotages your journey of self destruction over and over. ur ready to give up but he won’t let you. you think, today he won’t come. today he will give up on me too. he never does.

[stil-lindigo]

image i made for a powerpoint night with friends

[jahdefender]

So I found this posted to reddit and I wanted to share it here because I'm sure there are some fans who haven't seen the Adventures Bible stuff. (I had not so this is just referencing myself)

[welcometogrouchland]

Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)

[xxsugarbonesxx]

retired!Miguel rambling

🩷 I love domestic Miguel he is my everything

i guess this is head canons??? idk i just wrote what i thought felt right lol

mostly fluff, some smut, no gender is specified for reader,

though it doesn't go into depth, pregnancy and pregnancy sex is mentioned so read at your own risk 🩷

MINORS DO NAWT INTERACT!!!!

Miguel is naturally warm, his skin is so soft and warm. He smells like firewood and citrus, trust. In the winter you’ll lounge over his body like a seal on a rock in the sun. In the summer, you drag the kiddie pool from the back and fill it up. Dipping your feet in the cold water while you two watch the kiddos and dogs play in the sprinklers. 

He makes chunky babies. If you have the ability to get pregnant, most people will assume you’re having twins ‘cause how big your tummy is once you’re with child. But you just got one chubby little babe in there, and then they’re born with a whole head of their papa’s coffee colored curls. 

Piggy backing off the previous: once he gets out of his office in the Spider Society, leaving the Spider Man role behind, he’ll gain some weight. He’ll get that daddy pooch/dad bod going down, his pubes thick and curly. A whole forest is growing under his pudgy tummy. He doesn’t think shaving is that important once he’s settled down and has his kids but is willing to shave if that’s what you prefer. 

He did do the thing where he shaved his face completely to show the baby when they were around five months old. Popping out from behind the corner to show the babe his clean shaven face with you filming it. It all ended with all three of you crying and snuggling with the baby once they started sobbing and screeching since all they’re tiny life they’ve seen their daddy with a neat, salt and peppery beard.

And if you CAN’T get pregnant, (whether you’re amab or infertile) bro will be going at it with you like an ANIMAL. He’s got fat breeder balls, full of hot, sticky cum to pump into your needy hole. Once he’s cum, he’ll give one last thrust, nice and deep into your gummy walls. Plugging his semen deep inside you, keeping it there. After care in this instance is nonexistent, since he falls asleep on top of you, still deep in your guts.

He just likes touching you, if you’re alone in the car, waiting at the red light. His palm travels up and down your thigh absentmindedly as his eyes bore into the stop light. (He wears those glasses that turn into sunglasses when he goes outside, argue with the wall) Maybe he’ll get brave enough or the light still hasn’t changed for awhile, his hand will dip under your shirt, his thumb pad playing with your soft nipple until it hardens.

As long as you’re alone, he’ll have his hands on you. Six times out of ten it leads to actual sex.

I don’t think of him as a god in bed really, he’s just a guy. He’s gonna do what he thinks you and him are gonna like (what you want will always be top priority for him I know it) Acting on lizard brain, he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do without much thought beforehand. He couldn’t edge you to save his life, if you’re whining or crying, he’s just gonna let you cum, he just can’t say no to you. :(

Foreplay is always important to him though, mainly just because I want him to rub my back, I think he’d go for the whole massage thing. Spending a good amount of time rubbing and massaging your shoulders, back and cunny/cock. His hand is so big, he’d be able to grip the space between your thighs with one hand no issue. Rubbing back and forth until you cum from his hands alone. He likes to have you cum at least once before he’s actually inside you. He’s a gentleman after all. :))) His favorite positions are full nelson, side fucking, doggy style (I will die on the hill he’s more of an ass then a titties man I don’t care!!!) and face sitting.

If you can get pregnant, pregnant sex is even more tender and loving. Usually taking brakes to pepper your body and face with little kisses. 

@cupcakeinat0r wrote a tasty yummy fic about growing old with Miguel, and I’ve had that stuck in my brain since then. Around his forties, Miguel’s really mellowed out. He’s not as a perfectionist or cold and irritable as he used to be. Having kids has helped him calm more, having a more relaxed approach to problems now. Then his quick to anger, slow to calm back down personality when he was acting as spider man. Getting married and having kids has helped him realize that he doesn’t have to be the tough guy in the room. Though his kids are just as stubborn as him now. 

I love the domestic potential of Retired!Miguel, you two having a song, that’s your song as a couple. Cooking dinner together for your little babies. Having a show you two watch an episode or two of after putting kids to bed. Sitting on the couch, your legs over his lap, drinking wine with a kids movie on as your makeshift date night. 🩷

[muzsmocsing]

old man jenkins escaped the geriatric ward again

[likesummerrainn]

All Out 09.06.24 // Collision 01.18.25

[teruriii]

based on this twt about neuvi's and zhongli's special dishes :]]

bonus:

[loadingbnha]

THE MOMENT NAOMASA REALIZED THE EXTENT OF WHO ALL MIGHT ACTUALLY IS

For refrence; a side by side comparison of how Naomasa knows All Might vs how Toshinori is when he actually lets loose

[fumifooms]

My world shattering when I realize that Chilchuck is underweight

Post-canon Chilchuck stops dieting and gains weight real

Edit: I am going to SCREAM

[ssruis]

There’s a subset of vocaloid fans I think are really funny because they’ll say “before you talk about miku you need to tell me your five favorite producers who haven’t been featured in a game” & they’ll be saying this sincerely without a trace of irony. It’s hysterical. You’re talking like those gatekeepy nerds condescending to a woman at the bar who’s wearing an AC/DC shirt. Do you think hatsune miku would be proud of you for acting like this bc I don’t think so.

[matthewmoorwood]

Kettricken being the only 'royalty' to apologise to Fitz and see him as a human being with regrets about how they used his skills means so much to me. Most other characters saw his sufferings as a necessary evil but the scene where Kettricken grieves over Nighteyes which invites Fitz to grieve in the awful heaving sobs kind of way is so deeply important to me.

Like. So far only Beloved has been determined to remind Fitz that he is more than a tool in the Farseers hands, and now Kettricken THE QUEEN is also showing genuine sympathy for him.

RAAAH Fitz you deserve so much better than what you have.

As a sidenote, their friendship really does just add to the Wit being a metaphor for Queerness thing bc Kettricken saying "I am ashamed that you face such things seemingly alone. In truth I hate that such bigotry still exists in the Six Dutchies (...) I wished to let my Witted folk know that my justice was available to them."

LIKE.

Ofc Kettricken is hardly a perfect Queen, Robin Hobb has never written a perfect character in any of her books. but Fuck if it doesn't hurt to see yet another relationship that should have been beautiful and easy if Fitz hadn't had it beaten into him that he doesn't deserve companionship.

[dia-oro]

Hylia, when I catch you hylia when I catch you! Pay me therapy session for this man!. Hylia! Hyyyyylia-

[fatedroses]

-An old-timer like me.

[patrice-bergerons]

Not to get lost in the narratives and such, but I think it's a wild thing to take a young player with fire in his belly who will be the first to admit that he was never even the best player in his junior teams made it to the NHL it's because he clawed his way thru via any means necessary, and to tell him, I want you to look at this example of all things beautiful about hockey, and do everything exactly as he does it.

And how all of that, instead of breeding resentment can turn into devotion. I'm thinking of faith and how Bergy will be the first to talk about all the ways in which Marchy made his game better, of two people who pushed and balanced and completed each other, who worked so well because they were so different in so many ways, two people who would suck at being each other. And what happens when, you say now you take over. Now you lead, on your own.

And I guess I'm also thinking of that 22 year old with a chip on his shoulder who was told: you will never be the best player on ice as long as he is on the ice, so I want you to be second best.