#that is 100% lb trying to push something at that point because the only other alternative is that zoya is fucking stupid

[greensaplinggrace]

🔥🔥 Zoya Nazyalensky unpopular opinions

okay I don't really engage with her character enough to bring out the big guns, so I'll go with the only two opinions I really have on her at all (which by the way I know fandom loves to blorbofy her so please spare me from any hate for this 😭)

my first opinion is that zoya's character arc throughout the entire nikolai duology felt ridiculously overblown - like a child playing at dolls. aside from the terrible implications lb tried to hammer home about grisha powers that actually somehow made things more racist, zoya's pov itself was incredibly obtuse. the only way to get through it is to view it as a study in unreliable narration, because otherwise you have to deal with the fact that this is just a self insert for lb at this point, and zoya's real character has practically been erased.

also I'm not even going to get into how offensive zoya's rise to power is, especially the way she keeps control.

my second unpopular opinion is that fandom has such a hate boner for the darkling that they forget everything zoya builds is off the back of the darkling's 400+ years of sacrifice. which is to say that the darkling does 99% of it, zoya takes all of that effort and claims it for herself and alina completely, and then there's a deus ex machina that saves them from the consequences of somehow ruining the most important 30% of it and making things worse for the grisha.

all in all, the nikolai duology is a performative piece of garbage where lb is basically the main character and the realism that even fantasy worlds sometimes need is gone. most of it seems to be an attempt at justifying the choices made in sab, yet with worse writing that actually destroys the already spotty lore incorporated previously and makes all of the choices seem less justified. the only way to get through it is to think zoya is hallucinating or braindead, because otherwise she looks ridiculous, and I actually like her character when she's not badly written.

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)

[the-firebird69]

Worlds Strongest Man 1992, Gregg Ernst WR 70m 410lb Husafell Stone carry

I had to move here and he was clever about it said that's the heaviest Rock I've ever lived in it must be dense. And he went on to say I've never seen it like that and he left and we waited and said where's this way so much we do about it but I can see what he's saying and he said that's good what are we going to do trying to work now they're downstairs they said they're out there on Saturn that's the big fellows. Foreigners and Max is it good how that happened it's a disaster and still around like 25% of population and you guys are still around decent amount he says wow that sounds good yes just a little bit much for young guy. He said to him he's trapped here between you can't and we can't and we can't and he said that's not something that's the way it is and bad so he has an idea and we power lifters lift the weight and he be doing that we decide to do this to show what he's talking about some people know about it and it's educational and some people need more information so you go up to that facility and you have to get permission to wheel in this equipment and to put it on to their concrete and it was his family's place but the person who runs it is then Arnold then Arnold and we think that he would and the idea is you take the it's like a special Patty and you put it on the concrete and you have bigger plates of course but they wouldn't look too big and he would lift them after having people come up and test each plate and they carry each plate and he would push them tight each time and then you have a routine and the jokes and stuff my son loves to joke and we like it he's not an animal but sometimes he acts funny cuz he's so young but we like it because he is fooling around and he knows it and he'd say well that was it and that's how much weight I can move this other people doing it for me. And he'd be pretty big and when he's standing alone he would look like slightly bulky bill but when people are next to him he would look like a giant and it would be frightening so it's enough in the back a little and have them lift the weights I didn't think about it he is smiling it'll be fun and he lift the weights and he would put them tight some of them and he would do the routine and lift the entire bar and people will be in awe because it would be a lot of weight he was saying maybe 2,000 pounds clean and jerk it then he says all together and the plates would weigh a lot okay maybe like 100 lb cuz you need like 20 plates and the thing would look enormous so they need to have the crowd come up four or five people and try and lift it and then be pretty big after a Time these guys are teeny they're 5 ft even Tommy f both up bolt would be about 5 ft 8 and they would not be able to lift it even with four or five of them on the bar that's how many could fit inside then you call more people and then you get about 10 people and he thinks that they can't lifted and it's only a ton and it's true they would not be able to lift it so it's a okay I'm just checking and then put a jack on it and we can have him jack it up but still that's not really good he says you just lift it again and a couple times and then throw it down and that's the part there's interesting because this other stuff is kind of just fluffy is what Max said after you came up with the idea when he throws it down it's 2,000 lb and it's going to be a point load at some point and concrete can take a lot but that is a lot of weight coming down that far it's about the weight of a small car nowadays not a tiny car it would be like a Corolla and your point load would be several inches by 1 inch * 2 so be spread out a little bit but really that's a lot of weight and it thinks it might break the concrete and they wanted to cuz they want to see what's underneath so they would check and try and dig it out and they'd have them set up in a different spot and it'd be investigating the place idea that is that that is the idea

Thor Freya

It's a good idea it's giving me a lot of stress I can't believe that you've had this idea right now it's amazing and I think that you're right we need to try and figure more stuff out it's one way to do it and we do other renovation work as an excuse we use that and maybe threats to pay to have you pay for it but we'd sign a waiver and then there's a place there's a couple of places like that and this one inside we have to use actual dumbbells and he says they have a screw on clamps or even ones with set screws that's way too much weight for it to be loose and I do understand what you're saying there's they're really really too heavy those we probably just have a thin pad and you drop them and you get paid more for how high you drop it and I see what you're saying you could do like some presses and if you curls and drop them for a fact and have some people come out and maybe Brad might be able to lift it but drop it and just say maybe probably like 400 lb each and I'm at all that's a lot of weight it's like when I'm 6'4 I think and they said yeah. So they want to do it and it'll be interesting and it'll be like the circus and we have a fake mustache shaved head or a fancy haircut and we have a hairdresser, grow back pretty quick. And it says big and then be like nervous and I mean it too your head will be bigger and people get nervous cuz they eat meat usually and since you don't get big by getting sick and they really would like it so this is an idea and to wear that outfit would be way too intense but it'll be more fun than anything even an artificial one would put people over the loop it was a crazy man and much liked for it and not liked either but wow that would be big okay you'll be a big guy and you'd have to hang out with people you know I understand that too cuz you can't go around with people you do nothing or turn on your stuff like that so I'm trying to set that up it says I'm not really ready yet we get that LOL

Ben Arnold

It would be good for a comedy routine but we don't want to do that we can come back bigger that's not too good maybe a Comic-Con it's a good idea this is a great idea he has some good ideas but this is great

Mac daddy

I'm up for seeing that and try to spy I want to see what it is and I want to see if they can find and people go nuts trying to look

Jet li

It's me bo long it was fairly abusive but I was into it and stuff and what you're saying is I'm tired I'm young you're crazy now I get it you're like a baby you don't have the stamina yet and you can't heal cuz you have to not grow I looked it up and said oh he's getting mad and it's true so these things are true the kidnap him to where everybody uses gear and it sort of know where the ships went already obviously some do he says not a ton but soon they will and it's going to be craziness but boy do we need it this is terrible we can't get anything done and I'm up for this idea and I think it's a great idea I'll give you something to do too he wants to do stuff that his family did and where they did it and he wants to do things to learn and Ken is up for it and he would be getting big too he'd have his own act so I'm going to try and do these things

Tommy f

I think you're ready for doing it I think it's a good time I want to be the hairdressers assistant or something I want to help it'll be good time and fun and Becca was doing your hair she did okay and there are a few other women but they have people at Barnum and Bailey who do the haircuts but that's why being an assistant would be good has the force my way in but it's to balance it out yeah that's right competition but really it would not be wise thing to do what you say is I can hold it and it would cauterize almost and I guess you're right about something it's different yeah it would coagulate in the vein and a few seconds and it won't go to the beginning but odds are that you can't cut it that much what they say is it's held in place by muscle and it will coagulate and reattach and I'd be screwed that would be hit girl learning to fly so I do see something that's not fun what happens she fell out of the building obviously. And I don't want that written but okay now we have a lot to say but he doesn't want to do that but don't try to attack him when he's bigger and people would be motivated and that's what the next one but I didn't see the car in there and they said it was there so people are getting angry and frustrated and we're getting beat and we're going to get kicked out and he's going to be stuck so I'm wondering wondering how that's going to work and it's going on like that

Lily

You know what happens and it's morbid and that's what happens and there's a rule Max says that you're never supposed to get stuff from us if we pass away and they're saying later on that his clan broke from everybody else and they did and they plan to and then they're not really part of us and they say that it's us but they're not and it's really bad just like mom thought and her son knows so you're sitting there with nothing but we think that the max the max the proper planned it but they did know that they break away but they forced them to it's not really right and it's not right for something to do it either but someone has to and they want to use it as motivation and that's who's up to it and we do know how they get it here

Thor Freya it barely see it at the end of the video it's not true he looked he couldn't see it maybe way off in the distance but no it's not in that picture film or video it's not a fact we don't think that you'll see it in a movie

Olympus

[kuiperblog]

The first 1% is always the hardest

Usually, the hardest part of acquiring a new skill is starting it for the first time.

When you’re at an intermediate level of progression, you can usually just increase your skill level by incrementing up the difficulty linearly.  If you’re a novice weightlifter and your best overhead press is 125 lbs, try adding 5 lbs to the bar and see if you can overhead press 130 lbs. (If not, keep lifting 125 lbs every few days until that becomes “easy,” then challenge yourself with 130 lbs again.)  If you can do 10 push-ups, you will probably reach the point where you can do 11 push-ups, and 12 push-ups, and 15 push-ups, and 25 push-ups, and so on.  The hardest part of lifting is day 1, when you might be performing certain motions for the first time in your life, and challenging your body to work muscles that you didn’t even realize existed.

I imagine the same is true of other fitness regimens: once you’re able to run a 9 minute mile, you probably have what it takes to run a 8:30 mile, or a 8 minute mile, if you keep at it.  Eventually you’ll hit a plateau and the limits of human performance, but the first day in the gym is always the hardest.

This is sort of how the trajectory of my writing career went.  And having talked to artist friends, and musicians, it seems like all of them followed a similar trend: they found a thing, they stuck with it, and over time found themselves advancing along that path bit by bit.  It became a hobby or a routine such that over time, by  by investing a bit more time, or a bit more effort, or challenging themselves a tiny bit more, they got better at it.  And over years, the compounding returns of that meant that the girl who got a drawing tablet at age 14 found that by the time she was 22 years old, she had enough artistic skill to make enough money from her art to make a living.

I think that in a lot of cases, people were able to start down that path of gradual self-improvement in part because they were able to somehow bypass the hardest part of it -- they blazed right through the initial difficulty without even realizing it.  They couldn’t even really answer the question of “When did you start drawing,” because they’ve always been drawing since the days that they were just doodling with pencil in paper at school. Maybe they just really enjoyed playing outdoors as a kid, and played soccer because it was fun, and made the seamless transition to being a high school athlete. In my case, I spent a lot of time writing long-winded forum posts explaining the finer points of topics I was passionate about (which, at age 13, was mostly Pokemon and Final Fantasy), and somehow by my 20′s I had enough of a penchant for explaining things that I was able to parley that into a writing career (so I can get paid for my long-winded explanations of Pokemon-related topics).

The early days of learning to write kind of sucked and were difficult.  (For starters, remember how unintuitive that QWERTY keyboard was the first time that you learned to type? Remember how painful it was to hunt-and-peck your way through sentences at an effective rate of <10 words per minute?)  But my desire to talk about Pokemon on message boards overwhelmed any difficulty or “suckiness” involved with learning to express my ideas through text, and so the suckiness of those early days wasn’t really much of an obstacle.

More and more, I’ve come to believe that the most important part of learning a new skill is finding a way to get over that initial difficulty hump -- of finding a way to survive the first day, and then the first week, and then the first month, and eventually reach a point where inertia carries you forward on a gradual upward slope of self-improvement where you’re not even consciously thinking too hard about improvement; you just randomly muse to yourself one day, “Oh yeah, this barbell I’m picking up weighs about 100 lbs more than the barbell I was lifting a year ago. Fancy that.” The longer you keep at it, the easier it is to stick with it.

In many corners of the internet, there’s an oft-repeated adage that “Watching anime won’t teach you to speak or understand Japanese.”  And sure, that’s obviously true on some level. If someone is thinking they’re going to spend a thousand hours watching subtitled anime, and then one day flip off the subtitles and be able to follow everything without missing a beat, they’re probably a bit delusional. If you want to actually achieve anything approaching Japanese fluency, you’re probably going to have to take a Japanese learning course, and engaged in spaced repetition to pick up and retain vocabulary, and all of the other stuff that goes into learning any language.

But I think that watching anime does provide you with one big advantage: it goes a long way toward helping you cross that “day 1″ hump. Because the first day is always the hardest. Going from 0 to 1 is harder than increasing your vocabulary by a few new words every week.  Before you can get the compounding returns from incrementally improving at a skill, you have to have a starting principle.  And I think that watching anime is actually quite good for that, because only knowing “weeaboo Japanese” will give you 20-30% of the vocabulary that’s included in your first couple Japanese lessons.

I’m speaking from personal experience: it’s incredibly heartening to go through a lesson and encounter words that I’m already familiar with.  Even if my fluency in “weeaboo Japanese” only covers 10% of what’s introduced in a given lesson, having a head start gives me an intangible confidence boost which makes it easier for me to focus on and retain the other 90%.

I don’t want to understate the importance of that intangible confidence boost: a lot of language acquisition is getting comfortable with a language, and repeating something so much that you do it without even thinking about it. For example, in English, sometimes sometimes someone might ask you “how’s it going?” and you might answer “fine” before your brain has even consciously registered the meaning of what you were hearing, or saying. And I’m enough of a weeb that I can hear i tenki desu ne and immediately reflexively respond with sou desu ne, before my brain has even consciously registered the question being asked (sometimes taking several seconds to mentally backtrack and realize, “Oh right, the “i tenki” part means “nice weather.”).  But years and years of listening and pattern recognition have taught me that when someone ends a sentence in desu ne? with the sort of inflection that says “I’m asking you a rhetorical question,” the proper response is probably sou desu ne, and my brain produces that response just as reflexively as it spits out “I’m doing fine, how about you?” any time someone asks “How’s it going?”)

One thing I’ve come to notice is that every lesson begins with some of some amount of review, giving you that spaced repetition, and providing context for the new words and concepts that the lesson is about to introduce, and generally provide a foundation for the new material.  Day 1 is, by necessity, the exception -- how can you “review” material that you’ve never covered before?  But for me, the day 1 lessons on how to say nihongo and arigato and watashi and anata were already “review” of topics that I picked up through years of being a weeb.

Besides that, there’s the fact that the structural elements of Japanese are something that my brain was naturally able to grok in a way that is intuitive to me after spending years listening to spoken Japanese even though most of it is contextual. (Like, I’m not sure when this happened, but at a certain point I think my brain just kind of learned, when listening to Japanese sentences, to approximate which parts were the verb and where certain clauses landed in the sentence, if only because when watching anime with subtitles you become consciously aware of when a character’s name appears in the dialog.) I’m not really consciously thinking about it, which kind of feels like the “natural” way to learn a language.  (After all, it’s not as if native English speakers, as toddlers, consciously think to themselves, “Ah, it seems as though English typically follows a subject-verb-object grammar structure.” Kids just listen to adults speaking English and form sentences that way without really having to be formally taught.)

It’s highly likely that at some point in my internet career that I have at one point been the cynical message board poster telling someone that, contrary to their fantasies, watching anime isn’t going to help them learn Japanese in any real or material way, and if I’ve ever suggested that, it’s time for me to eat crow.  Because while the advantage that “weeaboo-level Japanese” gives you might be small, and only help you on the first few days of Japanese class, those are the most important days, because the first 1% is always the hardest.

My familiarity with “weeaboo-level Japanese” has only given me one disadvantage, and that is that years of memes have poisoned my brain to the point where the first I was prompted with “say ‘excuse me’ in Japanese,” my brain (and mouth) immediately spat out “sorrymasen,” and I wish I could say it only happened once, but it wasn’t until around day 3 that I managed to fully train this habit out of myself.

[miraculouscontent]

“Didn’t Need Burrow” Masterpost (February)

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: Finally, it will be revealed that Adrien is the main character and that Marinette was merely the narrator of his story (or history of their love).

The thing that we already know and won’t be a surprise.

Adrien didn’t have enough attention already but they were tired of using Marinette as their camera to his story.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t need burrow: Kagami wil decide to stay in Japan at the end of the Tokyo special. Prompting Chat Noir to start pursuing Ladybug again.

I doubt they’d make the specials official canon but I also don’t doubt Kagami getting sidelined so easily.

Anonymous said:

Alternative didn’t need burrow: Kagami won’t even be in the Japan special and all cultural knowledge will be explained by Adrien

Oh my gooooood.

*flashes back to Adrien and Gabriel greeting Kagami and Tomoe in Japanese*

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: It will be revealed that Chloe is actually an innocent and naive little girl who acted like a malicious bully because she was manipulated and intimidated by Sabrina all the time. And it was Sabrina who made her bully the rest of the class and act as if everything had to revolve around her. And it will be retcon that Chloe did not abuse everyone to impress Audrey, but because Sabrina made her do it. (Note: I'm Anon that joked about Sabrina being more dangerous than Chloe)

fdjkhgjdfgfd welcome back, for sure.

I wasn’t ready for the Sabrina part since I was taking it 100% seriously up until then.

In before they say that Sabrina is just indulging Chloe and Chloe is how she is because Sabrina won’t do anything about it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that if there is finally a white little kid gets introduced to the show, he or she(though let's be honest, most often a he) will be a sweet little angel of sunshine who's always on their best behavior and never does anything wrong, unlike all those rowdy black children(barf). Bonus if the kid has blonde hair and blue/green/grey eyes. Double bonus if someone(say, Marinette or Nadja) says to one of the other kids "See, why can't you behave like they do?" Rolling my eyes.

OMG SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT. BLESS YOU.

I always feel so awkward hating on all the kid characters for that reason but it really does come down to they’re kids and I don’t like kids. Most of them are just written as “kid” and nothing else.

Friendly piece of advice to people writing children and are afraid of doing what this show does where the personality is just “stereotypical child”...

Write characters as if they’re teenagers first, and then “age them down.” It’s the difference between writing Mylene (for example) with the personality of “child,” and writing Mylene as a younger version of herself.

It also will make it less jarring if the character happens to grow up and become a teen at some point in the story, where their personality is better established; they’ll come off as a developed person rather than someone with a completely different personality from when they were little.

(If you’re having trouble imagining said child character as a teenager/adult, there’s definitely a step missing.)

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that when all the kids in Marinette and Adrien's class inevitably get Miraculouses of their own, only the girls will get theirs taken from them for one reason or another, either because someone else figured out their identity or they do something stupid and risk people knowing(or people actually do know), while the boys get to keep theirs permanently and Ladybug becomes the token Smurfette on her superhero team. Rena Rouge might be the exception to this.

G I R L  P O W E R

+ I mean, for Rena, Marinette’s already regretted giving her the miraculous at least once, so yeah.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that when Marinette and Adrien inevitably discover each others' identities, defeat Hawk Moth and Mayura(the only good thing about this whole scenario), and gEt ToGeThEr, it(the latter, at least) will only be in the last episode of the last season, and we will get no time to see their development from "who dis?" to friends, to lovers. Love=ma^2 shippers will punch the nearest wall, while me and everyone else will sip our salty tea and ask what the fuck they expected.

If Season 4 decides the split between Lukanette and Adrimi, that means Season 5 is just going to be a love square shipping fuel fest of absolute and complete obnoxiousness with angst that’ll lead to reverse love square at best and then nothing more.

The tea will, however, be delicious.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow to know that Adrien will continue to steadfastly insist that Marinette is "just a friend"(such as saying so when Alya or Nino confronts him on it, or saying romantic sounding things to Marinette herself that are just intended as shipper-fanservice-bait, before adding something anticlimatic like "you're a really good FRIEND")...up until the moment when the plot decides to push them together and he'll magically change his tune and say that she was always more than just a friend.

How convenient~

Yeah, the plot has this habit of just changing things so immediately that it gives you whiplash, because they’ve never built anything up. I remember that it did that for me with the Miracle Box opening in “Sapotis” to reveal all the zodiacs.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that Alya(and possibly the rest of the girl squad, but lets face it, most likely Alya so that she can be the Black Best Friend) will be used solely as a plot device to get Adrien and Marinette together(against Marinette's protests, if I may add), and Marinette will get almost no chances to make a move on Adrien on her own. I know you salt on Alya a lot but you gotta admit it kinda feels bad to potentially have her pushed aside to only support the love square.

No no, I totally agree! I don’t like Alya but I obviously feel bad that her and Nino have just become love square/plot pushers. Add in Rena Rouge and eugh, no thanks.

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow to know when Marinette finally tells Adrien she’s in love with him, he’ll reject her, and when Marinette gets over him and gets together with Luka, then he’ll probably get akumatised because of it, and it’s all Marinettes fault for getting over him(EVEN THO HE MADE IT CLEAR HE WASNT INTERESTED!!!) and entering a healthy relationship.

This one sent me through a whirlwind of emotions.

Also, inevitable "only notice the girl who’s wanted you forever because now she has a boyfriend,” because yay.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: Ms Bustiers pregnancy is going to be handled one of two ways, but they'll both lead to the same outcome: either

1) her pregnancy will be ignored and she'll look the same as she always has until the one episode where it's plot relevant, and she'll suddenly look nine months pregnant, or

2) she'll go from looking the way she does in the New York Special to looking nine months pregnant in the first episode of S4, possibly with the addition of cringy pregnancy jokes peppered in throughout the season until the episode where her being pregnant is plot relevant.

The inevitable outcome of this whole 'pregnant teacher' subplot will be an episode where Ms Bustier goes into labor during an Akuma attack that she (and possibly the entire class) are caught in the middle of for whatever reason, she'll give birth either during or right after said Akuma attack. LB will have to juggle both fighting the Akuma and delivering the baby, Chat will be useless during the pregnancy subplot (50/50 that he won't be much help during the Akuma attack), and there will be a moment where the two heroes are both cooing over the baby, and someone will make a remark about how they'll be such good parents one day.

I know this is probably too specific to actually pan out, but I'm confident that at least part of this will line up with what happens in the show

dfkhgjdfkgdfg oh my god, Ladybug helping deliver a baby, please kill me.

The “good parents” line absolutely made me cringe because they’d totally do that.

The thing about how Bustier will look is also 150% accurate and it pains me to say so. Her looking pregnant is the most “fleshing out” that we’ll ever get from her.

I could also see her getting a substitute instead (I originally was going to shorten it to “sub” but then I just imagined Miss Bustier eating a sub sandwich) and then coming back at some point like “oh I already had the baby, here he/she is,” and that’s how they avoid making a model for her being pregnant.

Anonymous said:

Don't Need Burrow: A character will have a bad day and get increasingly mad whenever things continue to go bad for them/when other people annoy them, but he or she will still manage to keep it cool. Only when MARINETTE does something wrong will that person finally SNAP and get akumatized, and of course, Marinette will be blamed for it despite everything already going bad for the character to begin with. It's like the writers try so hard to make things her fault when she's barely a part of it.

oh my god

This is also totally Santa Claws/Bother Christmas but with Marinette instead of Ladybug. Gotta get both sides in there, you know?

[brandyspringsluxury]

The Staff of Brandy Springs Suites

Welcome to Brandy Springs Suites- a luxury apartment complex filled with clean, cared for facilities and on location gym, spa, emergency laundromat, and even a recreation room. It was once a hotel, but bought and modified by the current owner it is now peak luxury living. It’s a place that values consistency, kindness, and loyalty. The owner, a very mysterious man known only by Mr. Carter, was already very wealthy, so money is not something he prioritizes solely. In fact, he values loyalty more than income and if you prove to be a loyal and kind person, you may find certain perks and advantages. So, I hope you enjoy your stay and remain here for a long, long time. Nevermind all the tenants who seem to always have ulterior, hidden motives or the ever revolving spa and cleaning staff. Oh, and if you’re looking over things, please do try to ignore the first floor after midnight- and if you go down it’s in your best interest to feign ignorance to whatever noises you hear or things you see. And if you ever- EVER- manage to meet Mr. Carter make sure you are on your best behavior and prove your worth, or you may not leave the complex alive. 

TW: mentions of sex trafficking, kidnapping, murder, drugging, torture 

The Owner - Mr. Carter

55 - 6’1” - 188 lbs || Caucasian || he/him || lives separate || Weinstein Wannabe

Evil, awful man. Sells victims in the basement of the apartment complex, sex trafficker and if a tenant can’t pay and their intensive “background check” indicates the tenant is not someone that may be missed that tenant will be sold. That being said, if a tenant shows worthwhile attributes that could bring the Owner more money (ie bringing victims, more tenants, or generally having skills the Owner can exploit, etc) then the Ownery may be able to help the tenants with their own, perhaps nefarious, deeds (ie kidnapping/killing someone for them, bribing the police, etc). That being said, only the staff know what he looks like and have a direct line of communication with him. All tenants speak to staff, unless they are unlucky enough to have bumped into him or to have been a direction for his ire. He has no empathy and doesn’t attempt to pretend he does. He’s a cold, cruel man and he makes it known to everyone he interacts with. 

Emergency room in complex is Room 002

The  Front Desk -  Ronaldo Cortez

28 - 5’9” - 196 lbs || Latinx || they/them || lives separate || Golden Retriever Friend

Raised hyper christian american; couldn’t speak at the table or if they weren’t spoken to, couldn’t make or visit friends outside of the church, etc. Because of that they are fantastic at masking or playing characters and very much embodies the charisma of the golden retriever friend, but has an aggressive and vicious side hidden. Doesn’t let the tenants know much about them, but does blind side them with occasional double-sided comments. Great at picking up information on the tenants or on potential tenants from the position of Front Desk. Very beneficial for the Owner. The Owner places a lot of trust in them and how they vet tenants and workers-- essentially the Owner’s right hand person and second in command. Much smarter than they seem and is quite intuitive. Struggles to back their intuition so they get along very well with Lily-- the very person who can dig up the evidence to back their intuition. The pair are largely unstoppable. Their intuition is never wrong and Lily can find literally anything if they motivated her enough. Has never personally done anything illegal (hands on) but has facilitated and encouraged it enough. Essentially, the plan B of the operation should it fail. Cannot legally be prosecuted for any crimes and thus can help anyone who falls  into legal trouble get the best help to get away with whatever crimes committed. 

In case of emergency has access to Room 003.

The Head of Security - Lily-Anne 

23 - 5’4” - 180 lbs || Russian American | she/her || Room 005 || Greasy, Lazy Genius 

  Doesn’t look it but can pick anyone up and throw them like they’re nothing. Learned to deadlift and hack to prove the boys in her high school classes wrong. Mastered biology freshman year and went on to throw herself into the STEM programs. Won lots of scholarships but never went to secondary school. Can find anything about anyone. Normally quite apathetic but you don’t want to trigger stronger emotions- obsessive to either degree. She’ll either kidnap you as hers (and literally love you to death) or she’ll just kill you in her anger and hatred of you. Wants to push those around her to the brink, control them to the point that they’d do anything- kill or die for her. Heavily sapphic but not exclusionary and likes who she likes. Has few friends, most online, but Ronaldo is one she begrudgingly admits to befriending. The Owner knows a lot of Lily-Anne, but she knows little of him. She mostly digs up the dirt for Ronaldo, in return for a toy to play with and some cash, but she also largely protects the complex more heavily than traditional security including cyber security and bribing/hacking the police. This makes her a very valuable asset and the Owner has a soft spot for her, throwing her a toy to play with out of the blue occasionally if one fits her preferences that the Owner can tell. 

The Gym Trainer - Rocky

25 - 6’1” - 265 lbs || Dominican-German || he/him || Room 217 || Aggro-gym bro

Got hired after being a tenant due to his actual degree but also because Marissa had stumbled across his strength and ruthlessness and mentioned it to Ronaldo. The perfect backup and, well, Rocky killed his darlings often enough that the disposal of their bodies was payment for the heavy lifting he did for the Owner. Doesn’t know much, just knows he sees some bitches being taken and he beats some douchebags up. He doesn’t care what happens to the victims, doesn’t know, doesn’t want to know or care. Rent is significantly cheaper and after being the backup for a few years, his rent was waived. He showed loyalty and that is rewarded. Always on the prowl for tenants to trick into the complex and then trap them in the gym so he can bully them. Its a win-win for the Owner and for him. He earns commission from both. Quite handy to have on staff despite his own (willing and willful) ignorance. The rooms on either side of him are often vacant due to the screams of his victims (both sexual and tortured) and the Owner buckled down and sound proofed his entire apartment. Saves them both some stress.

The Head of Maintenance - Marissa Thompson 

27 - 6’ - 178 lbs || Black American || she/her || Room 008 || Chaotic ADHD gremlin

Trans-woman and proud. Black and proud. Can do everything a straight white man can do but better. Always has 100+ projects on her plate but still takes on every project offered. Prioritizes well and always helps the tenants in a timely and kind manner. Has never gotten a complaint-- about her work. She, herself, now requests tenants be out of the apartment while work is being done because she’s so chaotic it stresses out the tenants. Loves and leans into the “plumber’s crack” trope when she does plumbing work. Makes straight white men super uncomfortable and she lives for it. Unlike most other tenants, she knows nothing about The Owner or his operations, she was vetted by Front Desk and okay’ed due to her oblivious nature and genuine skills. (Front Desk totally knows about how she’s obsessive and stalks her love interests, how she sneaks into their rooms and frots against their bed while she caresses their skin while they sleep, how she hooked cameras up in her apartment so she can watch them always, how she always helps them first-- drops everything to help them first; but it’s okay, Front Desk can use all that to their advantage and when it stops being an advantage, well, they have more proof against her than she could dream of having against them. This job pays too well to lose, anyway, right?)  

Lobby Cleaner - Amelia Moser

21 - 5’6” - 134 lbs || Caucasian || he/him & she/her || Room 004 || Discreet Wallflower 

Soft, sweet, and quiet. She often blends into the background unnoticed. Gathers  a lot of intel that way and is quite willing to play the bait or honey pot people for the Owner. She’s more dangerous and promiscuous than she looks, after all looks are deceiving. She’s always getting dirt on the tenants, too. Cleaning the lobby and gym bathrooms while people are in them, eavesdropping on conversations, and generally watching everyone with a very close eye. She, herself, has an entitlement to her if you can catch her in conversation, though just know if you are in a conversation with her she’s already got you hooked. She doesn’t talk to anyone unless she wants or needs something from them- though they’re largely the same. Whatever it is, she’s getting it. Loves sweet things that aren’t just pretending to be kind, if you treat her and everyone with kindness but also get shy and flustered or you’re a little bit of a crybaby then- well, you’re her’s now. She’s kidnapping you, locking you up in her nursery, and drugging you until you believe you’re the child she’s treating you as. And if you try to leave- well, she won’t be afraid to take drastic measures. She knows how to clean up the toughest of stains after all.

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: Training Day

Thanks so much for the amount of love the last post got!I’m sorry it took me so long to post this next one, school and other stuff started to get in the way, so to make up for it I added a surprise arc at the end. I might start doing theses in chunks to save time and fill in any gaps where I don’t post as much because of school. Not so sure yet but it’s just an idea. I hope that if you read this you enjoyed it! I am going to try and post more frequently now that I’m almost caught up with my school work.

Damian: Good morning Tim! I made you breakfast.

Tim: What do you know? Why are you calling me Tim?

Cassandra: Plus three large hot cups of coffee.

Tim: What’s going on? Why are you guys acting so weird?

Cassandra: No reason. Just want to be nice.

Tim: Nope. That’s not it. What did you guys do.

Jason: Done making Tim’s bed! I’m off to steam his suit!

Tim: WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON???

Cassandra, Damian, and Jason: *in unison* We just want to be nice. *all three surround him in a big hug*

Tim: THIS IS SO WEIRD!

Dick: *walks into the breakfast room* Morning Tim! How’s it going?

Tim: NO! ALL OF YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! *storms out of the breakfast room*

Dick: What did you do to Tim?

Jason: We have no idea.

Damian: The dude is losing it.

Dick: *gets face to face with Cassandra* Cass, do you have something to say?

Cassandra: We woke up early and decided to be nice to Tim for no reason.

Dick: You guys are evil. Go have your fun.

All three run out of the room.

Jason: TIM LET US LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Hey, Babs doesn’t know your here. I don’t want her to get jealous or something so could you please join the zoom call from another room.

Helena: Sure, I understand, lover.

Dick: No, we aren’t going through that again.

Helena: I make no promises.

Tim: You know you’re going to be in deep shit when Barbara finds out, right?

Dick: I’m in deep shit anyway.

Tim: Very true.

Dick: *begins the zoom call* Hey everyone, so if you can’t tell, Huntress has arrived to help out. Now, to everyone at the manor I created a schedule for when to work out. They should be completed before patrol. For those of you at home, I trust that you made your own.

Barbara: Yep!

Kate: Please, I’ve been training much harder than most of you guys since I was 6.

Harper: Yeah, sorta did. Not able to do much because I’m not at the cave.

Dick: That actually leads me to my next point. Harper I made a schedule for you because Bruce, Alfred, Selina, and I found a way to have Cullen inside the mansion without him finding out who Batman really is. Cullen already knows the alter egos of Red Robin, Spoiler, Orphan, and Nightwing. Everyone else is a question mark, so we will allow you to enter the mansion. When Cullen is around, we all will have to restrain from talking about our vigilante work. Have everything ready by next week. Once you arrive you’ll have to quarantine in your room for two weeks.

Harper: Awesome!

Dick: Today there has actually been no crime in Gotham City, so far, so we’ll take a day off, but if something comes up, cases will be assigned as they normally are. So everyone, after training, feel free to relax but be ready in case something pops up.

Dick and Jason

Dick: *turns on his training playlist, first song being “Devil in I” from Slipknot*

Jason: You know what, if this is the kind of stuff you have on your playlist, I might actually enjoy training with you!

Dick: I have 357 songs on here.

Jason: Damn!

Dick: What did you expect, I listen to every genre!

Jason: Really! I should actually start listening whenever people talk.

Dick: Remember that next time Bruce yells at you for shooting someone.

Jason: I’m just saying, if I mistake someone’s knee cap for their head, is it really that bad?

Dick: *laughs* Yes!

The two stretch a bit before moving on to pommel horse.

Dick: Figured you’d want to get this out of the way first.

Jason: Fuck you!

Dick: Just think of the music, and not falling.

Jason: *goes for a loop on pommel horse and bangs his legs against the pommels and falls* AHHHHHHH!

Dick: Maybe I should take pommels off first?

Jason: That’s an option? Then yes, please do so!

Dick: *quickly takes of the pommels then goes for a magyar, a triple russian, flare, spindle, press handstand one and a half piro, and flawlessly sticks his dismount*

Jason: Show off.

Duke and Damian

Dick and Jason had been training for an hour and fifteen minutes before Duke and Damian walked in. After stretching, the two began to spar.

Dick: Duke! You made a mistake when choosing your partner.

Jason: Nah! My boy Duke will show Dami who’s the boss.

Duke: I honestly like my chances!

Damian: Good Thomas, your over confidence will be your doom!

The two begin to fight. Damian dives right for Duke, rolling out and uses his momentum to go for a front flip and kick Duke in the chest, however Duke evades Damian’s strike and trips him after Damian lands.  Damian gets back up though, thrashing at Duke. Duke dodges each strike and finally jabs Damian in the gut a few times and kicks him in the chest. That would be the only fight out of the three they had that Duke won. 

Afterwards, Dick began to teach him the basics on both high bar. Duke was able to catch on very quickly and by the end of his training on high bar he was learning how to do kips and flyaways. Dick and Duke also decided to tumble together so Duke could learn the basics and some advanced skills too.

Damian spent the rest of his time trying to out do Jason. When Jason was using 100 lb weights, Damian would use 120′s. When Jason ran 5 miles, Damian ran 6. 

Jason: Dami, you’re going to be extremely sore. Take it easy.

Damian: Easy? *huff* Let me *huff* remind you that *huff* I was also trained *huff* by the League *huff* of Assassins. *runs to the garbage to throw up* I am superior *huff* than all of *huff* you in every way.

Jason: Okay bud. Well, I’m about to spar with Dick.

Damian: I’ll fight Grayson, too. *jogs up to Dick while moaning in pain* *huff* Fight me Grayson. *huff*

Dick: I’m not going to fight you. You look like you’ll pass out.

Damian: I’m *huff* fine.

Dick: Throw a punch at me like you normally would without groaning in pain.

Damian: *starts to punch but his fist his Dick like a soft tap* Ahhhhhh.

Dick: Go rest, take an ice bath, eat a lot of fruits, and drink a lot of water.

Damian: Okay, *huff* but only because *huff* you said so.

Dick and Jason then started to fight and after they concluded, Dick took the trash bag that Damian hurled in and tossed it out. An hour later Duke concluded his workout.

Cassandra and Julia

Cassandra: Woooo! Are you ready?

Julia: Your enthusiasm is a little bit concerning.

Cassandra: Yeah, but just deal with it.

Since she arrived to the mansion Julia has not let herself stop her routine. She has been training as much as she has been since her days in Britain's Special Reconnaissance Regiment. However as soon as she saw Cassandra doing freestanding handstand push-ups while doing an inverted crunch, she knew she had to up her game.

Cassandra just ignored the list Dick gave her for the most part and did the craziest exercises she could think of. When she started strength conditioning, she ran to the still rings and tried to do what she saw Dick doing once. She tried an azarian to an iron cross but immediately fell through the rings. it took her twenty minutes but she finally made it to the iron cross and rolled backwards into a planche. An hour later she finish conditioning and waited for Julia to finish so the two could spar.

Julia: Okay, you ready? *walking over from the treadmill*

Cassandra: More than ready! Lets do this! *she started bouncing on her toes like a boxer*

Cassandra won all three fights within a matter of minutes. Julia almost had a chance in the second one where Cassandra lost her balance, but she reacted too slow as Cassandra regained it and knocked Julia to the floor.

Selina and Helena

Selina focused more on her agility during her cardio workout than anything else. I mean, it’s definitely something that she takes pride in so why wouldn’t she?

Helena: Hey, can I ask you a question? *throwing punches toward Selina*

Selina: Sure! *dodges each strike, jumps off the wall, and dives over Helena’s head*

Helena: What’s the situation between Dick and Barbara? *grabs Selina’s torso and slams her body down*

Selina: Oof. *gets back up from the floor and sits down with Helena* Don’t think of it. Dick is all sad that he has to stay at the mansion without Barbara. I wouldn’t even try to approach Dick about the situation because he’ll act even more weird then when you arrived.

Helena: That explains this morning.

Selina: What happened?

Helena: I said hey and he replied with “Hey, what’s up, gir......friend, lady. Girl who is a friend and a lady. Saved it.” Then, just for fun, I pinched his ass and he jumped up and screamed. 

Selina: You’re playing with fire, I don’t blame you for pinching his ass though.

Helena: Hold on, it gets better. After that I leaned towards him and he started leaning over the table and asked, what’s wrong lover. He then stepped to the side and said “Nothing, nothing.” and started walking backwards saying “coolcoolcool” until he reached the door.

Selina: Why bother messing with his head?

Helena: Because it’s fun. Plus I still feel like there is something there. 

Selina: Very well. Now that you have that out of your system let’s head to the showers.

Helena: You won’t tell Dick, right?

Selina: What you just told me is between you and Dick. I will not interfere in any way.

Stephanie and Tim

Tim: *walks in tired as hell* Hey Steph. You ready?

Stephanie: Yeah!

Tim: Alright. Cool.

Both Stephanie and Tim go to do their separate training regimes. Tim however, being extremely tired started to move very slow during his workout. Halfway through his work out he stepped out to grab a five hour energy shot and started flying through his conditioning list that Dick made. 

Tim: You ready to spar? *jumping around like a rabbit, then lands sideways, falling to the floor only to get back up*

Stephanie: *looking at Tim like he’s a crackhead* No, I think we should skip the sparring match today.

Tim: No, come on let’s go! *grabs Stephanie's wrist and drags her over to the sparring arena*

Stephanie: Tim your going to hurt yourself. Instead of sparring let’s take a nap.

Tim: Come on, sleeping is for people who have don’t have tragic backstories. Let’s fight!

Tim tries to throw a few quick jabs but Stephanie quickly sweeps Tim’s legs causing him to fall. Stephanie Runs forward pointing her fist at his throat.

Tim: Owww! That’s abuse! You abused myself! Why are you mean?!

Stephanie: Tim, when was the last time you slept?

Tim: Ummmmm........... Tuesday?

Stephanie: Okay, training is over, go let yourself rest.

Tim: Pffft. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. 

Stephanie: Okay. *text Dick* Hey Dick, we have a code yellow.

Dick: *text back* On my way up.

Tim: You know I like to live by the words of the Beastie Boys anyway. No sleep ‘til Brooklyn, and because I have never been to Brooklyn, I am not obligated to sleep.

Stephanie: You have a problem!

Tim: No, *points his finger dramatically at Stephanie*  you have a problem.

Dick: *walks in* Hey Tim, I have a case I want to work on with you.

Tim: *to Stephanie* See, now I can’t sleep.

Dick: We’ll take the Batmobile.

*3 hours later*

Dick: Okay, we just entered Brooklyn. Now go to sleep!

Tim: No fair, you tricked my brain.

Dick: SLEEEEEEEEP!

Tim: NO!

Dick: Why are you staying up all night?

Tim: Because, I don’t want anything to change! *starts sobbing*

Dick: It’s okay, you’re alright. *pulls over to the side of the road*

Tim: No I’m not. Everything is changing and I don’t want it to. I don’t want to fall out of my habits because what about when things get back to normal. Then we have to build those habits again, and what if while we are readjusting someone dies because we weren’t ready. Plus, there is so much stress with helping Bruce keep his company from falling, trying to finish my homework, training, and patrolling the nights where there is more activity. 

Dick: *embraces Tim in his arms* Look change is going to happen whether we like it or not. It’s not what happens that shapes who we are but how we react to the changes that occur in our lives that do. The world is never going to be the same after this pandemic is over, so you could either adapt, or repeat your mistakes. It’s okay to not be okay. You are not alone, you have all of us at the mansion to talk to. Another thing that you have to keep in mind is that people are going to die. We both knew that the moment we signed up, and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it. All we can do is learn from what happened to stop it from happening again. You also need to get some sleep. I know you are under a lot of stress right now, not going to lie, but you have it worse than all of us right now, but how do you expect to save others if you won’t take care of yourself. 

Tim: *starts calming down*

Dick: I’ll talk to Bruce tonight to see if he could cut you some slack. I’ll find a way to help out too now that we aren’t patrolling as much. Just make sure to take care of yourself.

Tim: Okay.

Dick: Smart, toit.

Tim: Stop it Peralta. *begins to laugh*

Dick: *laughs pretty hard* Now get some rest, I’ll wake you up when we get back to Gotham.

Tim: Okay. I guess.

Black Mask, Hush, Two-Face, and Jason Bard

The night was very silent as Roman Sionis looked upon Gotham from the building. It was quiet, empty, peaceful, and disturbing. Hush walked into the room, followed by Harvey Dent and Jason Bard.

Black Mask: Congratulations, you found your way here.

Jason Bard: You’re pretty easy to find when you want to be.

Black Mask: Or is it because no one else is on the street other then your snitches.

Jason Bard:......

Hush: You called us here. What do you want?

Black Mask: Look out at the city. Tell me what do you see.

The three men walk forward towards the window.

Two-Face: Fear.

Hush: Silence.

Jason Bard: Caution, and paranoia.

Black Mask: You are all correct, but you missed one thing.

Two-Face: Stop playing games! What do you want us to see?

Black Mask: Opportunity.

[blubberchaser]

One Hundred Inches

Ben stood in front of the full length mirror, backing up a few steps to fit his whole body in the frame. After two years of steady weight gain, he barely recognised the fat man staring back at him. His eyes worked up and down, taking in his immense size. He breathed in and out pushing his gut out as far as it would go and admiring the curviture of his body.

Looking down he saw nothing beyond his own swollen fat chest and belly stretched far out more than a foot in front. Even his nipples were long gone from view, folded into the roll of blubber on the other side of fat boy tits. He reached down, gathering as much of his heavy overhanging blubber into his arms as he could and lifting it to expose his crotch to the mirror. He remembered when I first told him I wanted him too big to jerk himself off, how excited I was watching his manhood progressively shrink into his fat rolls. He tried to free one arm to reach down and see what was left but his overhanging belly spilled out of his remaining arm burying his crotch under a roll of blubber. He grunted, taking a deep breath and thinking about trying again but laziness and the warning signs of impending hunger were taking over. He turned slightly letting the middle fold of his fat torso, just over his love handles deepen and tracing the stretch marks with his fingers all the way up to his chest.

Ben pushed his tits together,  feeling the softness and his sensitive stretched out nipples. He grabbed a handful of the each of the sides and jiggled the fat, smiling to himself. Fuck I wish these were bigger he thought, envying the chest size and pure flabbiness of record breaking fat men he spent hours browsing online at. Tits were a major focus point of ours, he loved how much attention I gave them, squeezing his chest rolls through his shirt when we were out in public to get his attention, lifting his shirt while I embraced him knowing I would be deep in his chest in a fraction of a second my tongue in the fold between them and the top of his gut, sucking and biting on his nipples so he would squirm, making all his blubber shake and bounce between us and turning me like nothing else.

I stood leaning on the door frame of our bedroom, admiring my fat boy lost in himself, appreciating my work fattening him up and playing with his own blubber. I don’t want to waste my time telling you about me on his big day. Five foot seven, 255lbs somewhere about half of Ben’s weight, meaty, footballer player build with plenty of it in my thighs and ass, shaved head with a few days stubble. I had started out the lighter of the two of us but that lasted not even a month of our regular routine of drive through visits, morning donuts and late night binges, me rubbing his belly and massaging his chest as he ate.

I watched Ben knowing what was going through his mind, how into his own body he had become the last year. The rolls the folds, the softness, how he bounces and wobbled all over every time he moved now. But what really turned him on the most was just how much he had grown, the limitations imposed by his own size, how much space his new body took up and how far his huge belly stretched out far in front of him. That really penetrated deep into Ben’s mind, was what he found most enjoyable and what kept him piling on the lbs . We were both always exchanging glances and laughing to each other when he tried to waddle through spaces, bumping furniture with his fat ass that he would have cleared with inches to spare just a year ago or when he reached out, bending down to retrieve something, forgetting he was a fat boy now, his huge mass of belly fat freezing him midway and making him grunt and call for my help.

I watched him a few mins more as he enjoyed himself exploring his body, I had no doubt he was as heavily aroused by playing with himself as I was watching him. His cock however was completely hidden from view, deep under that enormous belly overhang and buried in pubic fat while mine tented prominently leaving a wet patch on the front of my gym shorts. Only the way he started at himself in the mirror smiling and staring intently gave it away. I waited maybe 10 seconds before I could stand it no longer and slipping through the half open door, I had to get my hands on my fat boy.

It was easy to sneak up on him from behind. His body blocked the whole mirror and he was distracted playing with himself. Slipping my arms around his lower back roll just above his ass I embraced my fat boy in a hug from behind, squeezed gently against the rolls of blubber and pushed the sides of his gut up, something I know he liked because it made him look fatter. Ben turned sideways, bringing my muscled frame into view alongside his own in the mirror.

“What the fuck have you done to me?!?” he grunted out in his heavy midwestern accent.

-“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“This!” He grunted again, picking up the furthest section of his gut in his chubby hands, a mass of blubber that he had put on in the last few months that hung lower the rest and letting it fall. “I’m fucking huge, have you seen me lately”

-“Yeah, I’ve noticed you put on a few lbs this week” I replied squeezing deeper and making all his rolls of fat wobble and bounce off each other.

“Will you stop enjoying yourself for a minute measure me?”

“It’s always about you, isn’t it...” I laughed back

-“Okay don’t then, just stay there all day, letting me go hungry” he answered back, his eyes returning to our reflection in the mirror. Ben rolled his shoulders back and letting out something between a grunt and a growl, he leaned  forward, pushing his mammoth gut out as far as it would go and spreading his ass cheeks. Pretending to stretch he leaned back trapping the wet patch of my gym shorts between his beach ball sized ass cheeks. He lowered his voice and locked my eyes in the mirror.

-‘Please baby...I feel so much fatter”

“Alright, let me get the tape”

I pulled my hands slowly from under his gut and walked across the room, leaving him to admire himself a few moments more. I stepped over a pair of 6XL shorts with a jock strap tanged inside and to my beside table. It was covered in remnants of last nights fun. I screwed the lid back on a tube of lube and tucked it out of view.  I grabbed a series of wrappers, rolled them into a ball and went to stuff them in a three tub stack of Ben and Jerry’s.

-“Don’t waste that!” I heard Ben holler across the room.

“What?”

-“The last of that tub, Don’t waste it!”

I looked inside at a third of tub of congealed ice cream and chocolate, sloppy and sticky, I stirred the gross bit at the top into the molten chocolate and cream with a spare spoon.

“I thought you finished all last night?”

-“Nope bring it here”

Holding the sticky tub of ice cream remains in one hand I pulled open the drawer and dug around for the 120’ tape I kept handy. Grabbing it with one hand, I dumped the trash into the pile in our bedside trash can. “Come on!” I heard a grumpy, impatient Ben say from the other side of the room. I couldn’t tell if he wanted the ice cream or the tape more. He had gotten so fucking greedy recently. Anything I put in front of him disappeared within minutes. I regularly came home to an empty fridge and a pile of garbage on the counter.

I walked across the room and stood in front on him his gut pressed up to my flat stomach. Ben stared at me and then at the ice cream, visibly drooling and licking his lips, silently ordering me to feed it it to him.  I raised the sticky tub to his mouth as he tilted his head back, the fat mass under his chin moving to the roll at the back of his head where his neck used to be. The liquid mess sliding down the wax side of the tub and into his waiting mouth within a fraction of a second it was in his belly resting comfortably on top of a still half full belly from last night. he licked the rim of the tub, catching the last drips of melted ice cream. Tossing the tub aside, I returned to Bens body, examining the mass of blubber I knew every inch of. He was right, his gains had been out of control recently, visibly fatter almost everywhere.

“Okay, lets do this” I said looping the tape around his back. He smiled back at me, my happy growing fat boy, shifting himself so he could me wrap the tape around his girth. “Here hold this” I said, Ben dutifully responding by pinning the metal tab of the tape to his fat gut just next to his belly button with his chubby finger. He wasn’t the flabbiest of fat guys, but it still sank into his belly blubber a half inch. He was far too fat for me to reach round and grab the tape, so I walked round him securing the tape in the one gap between his copious rolls of fat just at his lower back. Stretching it round the other side, making sure it was over his biggest flab roll and didn’t slip between them. It sounds hard but after dozens of times in the last two years I had perfected the motion. I laughed a little and Ben knew why. Doing this always made me think back to when he was in the mid 200’s and it was a quick 10 second Sunday morning job. Reaching his belly button, my fingers fumbling over the deep hole in an ocean of blubber, my cock twinged and I took the other tab, ignoring the dirty thoughts in my mind.

“Relax” I said and he let his hands fall and rest on his side. “101.4”

-“No way, check again”

“ I’m telling you, it’s 101”

-“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, how many times have I done this, almost every week for two years, you baby... are 100 inches of pure blubber”

-“Here let me see” he tried to look down, shifting gaze down, expanding his belly girth and making the tape pop from my fingers’ I laughed

“You know better than that, don’t you trust me?”

-“Yes of course, I trust you, I knew it was coming, i just wanted to see it for my self, WOW... 100 fucking inches round, that’s fucking amazing, it’s really great, I never thought... Well I knew we were almost there but I still can’t believe it”

Ben looked so excited, like all his dreams had come true, he put his hands on me, pulling me in as close as a man with a 100’ gut can. I let me body sink into the flabby fat mountain that was a severely obese Ben. I reached my hands round as far as they would go leaving a 2 foot gap spread across his love handles and back. As I pulled him close his belly between us pushed his huge fat boy tits up into his face and kissed him. Silly fat boy, I could still taste chocolate ice cream on his tongue. Ben forced his thick greedy tongue into the back of my mouth with the same force that he used when demolished slices of cake and chewed donuts.

-“I love you”he panted through his usual heavy laboured breaths.

We seldom had heavy make out sessions standing, it was just too difficult to get around all the blubber in his belly, tits and neck rolls. He took the hint and waddled over to the bed his ass cheeks colliding into each other as he took each step. Collapsing on the bed his ocean of body fat wobbling, he shifted his massive weight and heaved his butt on to the protesting mattress. We we’re one of those noisy couples the downstairs neighbours, if we had any, would hate. As many extra slats and reinforcements I had added to the bed, even bolting it to the floor, we went through two mattresses in the last year and I couldn’t stop metal springs screaming under Ben’s weight as he shifted to get comfortable.

Using his lard buried muscles he shifted his body back an inch at time, breathing heavy and making every pound of blubber wobble and bounce until he found a comfortable spot. His body spread out coving an area about four feet wide. Ben’s tits rolled to the side almost touching the mattress beneath him and allowing him to rest his hands just above his gut, somewhere where his ribs would be if they weren’t buried deep. He hugged his own body and smiled in ecstasy, mediating on his own huge size, how he never felt sexier and one of his ultimate dreams finally being reality.

I climbed on top starting at his overhang worked my way upwards, tickling his side rolls with my tongue and making him squirm and wiggle, his stretch marked skin visibly struggling like swollen a fat filled ballon, more moisturiser needed on those spots during our nightly pre bed routine, I made a mental note. I settled for a moment on his three inch wide nipples, nuzzling my face into those fat filled manboobs. Some guys nipples remained the same as they grew, Ben’s had always stretched outwards, expanding to their current size as his chest swelled up with one of the most impressive sized pair of fat boy tits I had ever seen on a man. I didn’t know it that natural or from all our heavy nipple play, the hour or so I spent enjoying them as he dug into pints of ice cream every evening. He moaned hard and moaned harder again as I sucked on them, biting gently, he shifting his hips so his under belly rolls and swollen fat pad rubbed against his buried cock. Something I really preferred he didn’t do during our nightly feeding sessions as it quickly exerted him, wasting energy and precious calories, but had become irresistible to Ben as our session got hotter and heavier and he simply gotten too big for me to reach both his cock and chew his hyper sensitive nipples at once.

I really didn’t want Ben getting too worked up this early in the morning, so I moved swiftly upwards to his neck roll and second, (maybe third?) chin. I really couldn’t tell generally there was one thick roll of blubber circling what had been his neck that restricted him tilting his head too far forward or back, but when he lay down with a big happy grin plastered on his chubby face, or laughed as my tongue tickled his blubber rolls a third smaller one appeared and disappeared.

“You know...” I said resting my head on his chest. “It’s really just a number, it’s not like everything you gained until now is any different” Ben gave me his massively overfed puppy dog, why did you stop eyes. The same pleading look he always gave me since he had both grown well beyond pleasuring himself in any meaningful or satisfying way and become far too lazy to even try.

-“Yeah... it’s a big number”

“A fucking huge number, three digits” I teased back, playing with my fat boy, rolling the blubber from where it had pooled on the opposite side of his chest, so it resembled its usual fat self, with half of Ben’s nipple hidden and the tip rubbing off the edge of his under tit roll.

-“You know I don’t want to stop, I love everything about this” he panted, reaching down and grabbing his under belly roll with both hands, easier now gravity wasn’t fighting him, he hugged his massive roll of overhang close to his body.

“Don’t worry” I laughed, “it’s not going anywhere, and I’m incredibly proud of you. You’re my prize fat boy, huge and perfect in every way.”

-“Good, I worried you were going soft on me” he grunted back to his normal gruff self, releasing his overhang roll of blubber back to rest on to his thighs and slapping his belly, sending a ripple through the soft, doughy outer most layer of his immense fat belly. “I know you’re into this as much as I am, I see you staring at this thing, practically drooling”

“Yeah, me go soft on you, I spent all morning at the gym. Only one of us goes soft, in this house” I laughed sticking my finger into the deep hole in a sea of blubber that was once a belly button.

-“So are we going out to celebrate”

“Of course”

-“When?”

“Now, if you’re hungry???” Now it was his turn to laugh.

-“How many years now, 2-3? When have I ever not been hungry, this thing is constantly rumbling, I’ve been sitting here half the morning waiting for you to come back. I hope you picked up food.” The man could focus on only two things, his cock, his belly or in most cases both. For the record I had never neglected to walk through the front door without a hot, greasy bag of something fried, rolled in sugar and served in a family size container. Not once in two fucking years had I let the gas gauge in my truck or my my partner’s insatiable gut hit the half empty mark.

“There’s a tray of cinnamon rolls in the kitchen, with a cup of extra Jizz and one of those half and half blended coffees milkshakes you like” but don’t fill up. I want to go out to lunch.

-“Okay, sure. Just bring me two to snack on while I get ready.

I had Ben sitting on the edge of the bed, sucking calories from a cup of syrup and half and half the size of a bucket. Getting a guy his size ready to go was a time consuming task. Showering him down on a metal bench we had built specially and was capable of holding twice his weight was the most time consuming part. Mostly because he would spread his legs and let his belly hang down between them and I couldn’t help parking my stiff cock in his belly button now it was no longer confined to tight gym shorts. But we had gotten every inch of him scrubbed down and into the roomiest pair of grey sweat pants I could find in his drawer of clothes that looked too big and oversized to fit anyone else, but on Ben nestled not quite snuggly enough to show off all of my fat boys rolls to the extent I liked but enough so they stayed up without him having to keep tugging on the waistband as his rolls made their usual seemingly independent efforts to wobble and bounce out of the clothing covering a man that was clearly too fat to be wearing anything at all.

I always waited to help Ben dress before I put on my own clothing, he enjoyed a naked muscle bound chaser manhandling him into clothes, hugging his belly and squeezing his love handles as we went and I didn’t have to get my own T-shirt damp and sweaty as I helped him manoeuvre the rolls of flesh into clothing and  get him to his feet. “Hey what shirt do you want”  Ben pulled back hard on the straw taking a mouthful of cream into his bulging chubby cheeks as he considered his options.

-Whichever one you want” he splurged, catching a splodge of whipped cream with his tongue and pulling it back into his mouth. I grabbed a thin white T-shirt from the top of the pile and pulled the almost empty cup Ben was digging around for the last drips of cream in from his grasp. He grunted, unsatisfied with being denied the pool of sweet fattening goodness at the bottom of his cup.

“Come on we need to get moving”

-Alright, lay it on me” he said impatiently.

I gathered up the handfuls of the sheet sized cotton shirt into my fists, pulling it over his arm and head. I negotiated the shirt down over his chest, adjusting his fat tits as I went and pulling it to the bottom of his belly where it stretched even thinner. It looked too small, the fabric stretching as Ben breathed in and out, but I knew once we got him standing we would be good. I slipped on his socks and sneakers and held out my forearms for him to grab.

“Come on baby, time to go”

Ben rocked back and forth twice, although his ass, chest and thighs were all massive most of his weight resided firmly in his fat belly, when standing he looked almost spherical, an immense fat blob with a head and limbs. He was getting to the stage where even with my help he some momentum to get himself off the edge of the bed. Ben’s  feet hit the floorboards causing them creak and dip a fraction of an inch. I let go of his forearms, bracing myself as his weight pushed me backwards and I caught the side of his gut taking a few dozen pounds of weight off his leg muscles.

“You good baby?”

-“Yeah, I got this” he huffed. “All good”

“First step is the hardest” I replied, rocking his flab back and forth, letting his legs adjust to taking his body weight. Ben reached a standing position his gut still hanging down, he extended his legs, taking the full weight of his belly and returning it to its normal position outstretched far in front of him. I reached round the back of his sweat pants, pulling them up over his ass fat and adjusting the elastic waistband to fit between two of his back rolls, before I tucked the front firmly under his overhanging gut. I pulled down the cotton shirt over his gut, barely hiding it from view under the thin, stretched fabric. He wobbled from left to right letting it adjust to all his rolls and folds.

“God you’re an immense fat hog” I said out loud without thinking.

-“Yup” Ben smiled back, “I really am, aren’t I? Now get your own clothes on, I can’t fucking stand here sweating all day. This 100’ tank needs filling” He pushed me out of the way with his gut and huffing and puffing reached past me to grab the cup I had left on the table by the bed. Knocking the top off with his chubby fat fingers, he stared unblinking at the clump of cream and chocolate syrup like a bright shining prize at the bottom that almost escaped him. He brought it to his lips letting the mass of calories slide into his waiting fat face. He pulled it back rolling his tongue over his face to catch most of the rim of chocolate on chin roll and held it up examining it to make sure there was nothing left at the bottom. A small drip of chocolate syrup left on the rim of the plastic slowly fell, leaving a sticky tail between the cup and Bens clean white shirt. He shrugged and tossed it in the mounting pile of trash. I had my jeans and shirt on by then and was just wrestling with the last boot.

-“Okay” he grunted, turning his momentarily satisfied belly towards the door “let’s get out of here”

As Ben had proved serious about about meeting our goals  it had quickly become necessary to trade my old house down to a rambling ranch style one with wider hallways and a total of three steps, one in the garage and two on the front front porch. I also took out the old enclosed shower and retiled the bathroom, remodelling our home to better accommodate my baby’s growing body and more limited mobility had become a fun past time. He would park his ass in an extra wide recliner, his belly over the edge of the arm rests of the chair and watch football in the living room, a sport I had never gotten into, coming from outside the USA. Yelling at the big screen Tv through mouthfuls of nachos and fried chicken, or working his way from one end of a giant burrito bigger than my forearm from this place nearby he loved and washed down with plenty of beer he often watched two or three games in a row his fat chins bobbing up and down, his mouth working overtime on his supply of game day snacks as his piggy guys were fixed squarely on meaty football players asses and trim waistlines as they ran around the field. While he enjoyed his me time, I would work on our older style home, shirtless and with a tool belt slung over my hips I retiled the bathroom, expanded the door ways, added a few extra reinforcements to our bed.

Ben waddled through the living room passed his recliner, his mammoth ass cheeks looking like two jelly filled beach balls bouncing off each other other trying to knock him off balance, it was only the forward pull of the weight from his belly that kept his momentum going forward once the started waddling in any direction. He paused for a moment to catch his breath by the front door, leaning on the wall, waiting for me to open it. Walking out into the drive and the door of the truck the sun caught his forehead and eyes, and he started to get visibly uncomfortable almost immediately, beads of sweat rolled down his fat cheeks and multiple chins. Ben spent almost all his time in doors, enjoying comfortable air conditioning that was necessary for a guy his size. He hated being warm and grumbled lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat off and exposing his round fat belly and even fatter man tits for anyone who happened to be walking down our street or in their front lawns. I swear he made them jiggle a little extra on purpose as he wiped his forehead, making a patch of his shirt even more see through. I had the engine running and the A/C on full blast in the truck waiting for him, he just needed my help to get in it. He manoeuvred his backside to the edge of the seat and, one foot on the extra heavy duty running board the auto shop and installed in my truck and a firm grasp on the side handle he pulled himself up six inches.

-“Unnnmmmpphhh... I can’t get up, help me”

“Yeah you can” I replied, wrapping my arms under the sweaty over hang of belly flab and taking some of the weight off his leg until he could the edge of his huge ass on to the leather seat and his second leg up. Grunting like an animal and using every ounce of strength he had he, with me taking a good few lbs of weight off by holding his belly, Ben edged his ass back two inches at a time until he was into the seat.

I kept the passenger seat permanently back as far and as low as it would go. Ben was as short as I was and had lost a few inches as he grew outwards and sideways. Even so the the 10 inch thick layer of blubber that cushioned his ass basically had the effect similar to sitting on a stack of phone books, lifting him up an extra half a foot and left him with a lone inch or two of head room. The leather seat did a good job of cushioning his back fat into a comfortable position and although there was no way in hell it could contain his love handles we had done a pretty long road trip last month without him needing to get out and stretch too often. Flying anywhere was out of the question for us. The problem was likely to be his belly which was almost at the edge of his knees when he spread apart his legs apart and was fast approaching the dashboard. I could see his shirt had ridden up exposing his belly button which was about 4 inches from the passenger side glove box, I had to have him hold his gut back to open the time I forgot it was unusable with Ben in the truck. Ben relaxed shifting his butt back and catching his breath, feeling the cool blow of the air conditioning on his sensitive nipples through a paper thin shirt that was already damp from wiping himself.

-“Let’s go, I’m hungry” he cheered now that he was comfortable, slapping his gut and making the whole thing wobble again.

“You got it bubba!” I replied back with the same enthusiasm, leaning over to plant one on my sweaty whale sized, mountain of fat husband to show I appreciated his efforts leaving the house. “You’re so fucking cute when we go out, you know that”

-“Am I?”

It was a short drive to the restaurant, me trying to keep my focus on the road and not get distracted by the “oomph” that came from the passenger seat every time I hit a dip in the road and Ben’s body responded accordingly his whole body wobbling and bouncing. When we got to the restaurant, I pulled the truck up right out front across a double wide handicapped space. Out was a lot easier than in and Ben didn’t even wait for me to get around to open the door, before scooting his ass to the edge and landing his round globular body out onto the sidewalk. My truck suspension moaned and returned to its upright position as my heavyweight passenger side cargo unloaded itself impatient for more food. The smell of frying grease from the kitchen out back hung in the air, making Ben take deep inhaling breaths. He began to drool slightly and without thinking ran his hand over his stomach, rubbing his belly hungrily like he was warming it up, getting it ready to accept an in human quantity of fattening food and really make a pig of himself.

Ben waddled inside pushing the wooden doors open with his gut, making one slam loudly against the door stop. I always let him enter first, the man was a sight to behold. Huge out stretched gut, the top firm and doughy, the overhanging bottom a soft blubbery roll of jello that never stopped moving and refused to stay covered by any shirt we could buy. An impressive set of tits, bigger than any women’s implants but unmistakably pure natural lard, rolling over the top of his gut and continuing all the way round to his upper back. I liked to watch people react, it was a family place. Women always looked grossed out, sometimes sympathetic, shaking their heads often dropping their forks or pushing their own food away. Men starred, mostly impressed that a guy that big could move so swiftly. Ben barged his away across the room without noticing any stares. I told you... two track mind, his belly, cock or both. Once Ben started moving he didn’t stop until he got where he wanted to be. The effort showed on him, breathing heavy, grunting as he moved. Seldom bothering to excuse himself, he grunted it inaudibly out between laboured breaths the time his enormous ass bumped a table and knocked a glass of water to the floor. Resembling something between a half waddling, half lumbering lardass he hauled his body across the room, making floorboard creak and any remaining patrons give up pretending not to look. His body wanted him to take breaks, but his mind was determined to get his ass in a chair and he relied on momentum to keep him going once he stared. It was a lot easier to just keep going than to get him moving again once he stopped to lean on a wall and catch his breath.

We grabbed a table in the far corner where we could make camp for a few hours undisturbed. Ben pushed two chairs together and slid his ass between them and the table. A hundred lbs of Ben ass forced the chairs back a couple of inches as he lowered his bulk down, the legs scraping and leaving marks on the wooden floor. His extended belly prevented him from getting too close to the table. At home Ben preferred to balance a plate on his belly, using his gut and a table and shortening the distance between the plate and his mouth considerably. When we were out he behaved him self a little more leaning forward to shovel big mouth fulls into his waiting mouth.

I took a seat across the table and admired my fat boy. Sitting there looking huge and sexy, catching his breath, rubbing his gut. They always gave us the same waitress, I tipped her $100 cash upfront and ordered us drinks, a half gallon of Rootbeer for Ben, iced water for me. Ben picked up the tankard and chugged it down and in a matter of seconds she was back with a second.

“Are you doing okay over there bubba?”

-“Yeah, just winded” he huffed, wiping sweat with his napkin. I wanted him to do it with his shirt again so I could admire his belly some more. “Where’s the food?”

“Coming” I laughed, reaching over rubbing my hand down his gut and slowly towards his crotch.

The waitress returned with a plate of piled high with fried appetisers, a board of pizza slices, a tray of chicken and beef skewers each of them family sized. Along with a pint of ranch dressing.  It was easier to order one side of the menu than to slow ourselves down ordering specifics. She put a large milkshake with whip cream on the top in front of Ben. He liked to alternate between sweet and salty so he could eat longer without his taste buds getting bored.

Ben leaned forward grabbing a slice of pizza, wrapping it round a fried cheese stick and dunking it in the ranch dressing it up, scooping it along the bowl to give it a heavy coating. He lifted the greasy, dripping morsel to his mouth, opened wide and deposited inside, following it quickly with a second. His cheeks full, he groaned deeply and sexually, enjoying his food.

Ben worked at pace through the first three platters, mixing up the food to his taste, experimenting with the salty and greasy flavours. Lubricating the dry, breaded, fried goodness with a second and a third bowl of ranch dressing so it slid down into his throat into his insatiable cavernous gut. He interspaced the appetisers with blasts of cold frosted milkshake, leaning back and letting his gut spread out, settle and taking long laboured slugs, filling his cheeks with thick cream milkshake and swallowing it on top of the mouthfuls of junk food. It usually took him about an hour of steady eating before he slowed down. He kept piling greasy fattening appetisers on top of large mouth fulls of milkshake until his gut began to resist the constant onslaught of fat and sugar he was forcefully shovelling down his throat. It was air conditioned but beads of sweat were rolling down Ben’s forehead from the exertion of eating.

-“I gotta do it man... I have to... I can’t stop” he grunted out between breaths. Wiping his sweat away.

“Do what?” I smiled back.

-“Get bigger, get fatter. You have no idea how good this feels. it’s everything I ever wanted” he lifted the furthest flabbiest roll of blubber on the edge of his out stretched belly that seemed to be trying to separate itself from the rest of his body and let it flop down on top of his thick thighs, taking a moment to settle and stop wobbling.

Ben reached forward gathering up all the spare cubes on meat and scraps of breading  that remained from a spread big enough to satisfy a half dozen people into a pile on the plate in front of him and smashing it into one lump with his first. He picked it up what remained and deposited it into mouth, rolling it round to lubricate it with drool and swallowed hard.

-“Unnnnnufff... I love... so good, so huge and fat... want more” he mumbled his eyes closed. it was more than I could take. I swapped chairs so I was by his side. The edge of his belly roll pressed up against my thigh. I lifted the edge of the outermost flab roll of his belly up and let it rest on the side of my lap so I could get closer. I reached my hand across and began to rub the top of his gut, right at the swollen, tight part where his stomach was buried. My mind wandered back to the first time we had done this, same table, a third of the food, a much skinnier, unrecognisable Ben.

-“Thanks baby... that feels good”

“Don’t mention it, you able to handle desert?”

“Of course, just give me a couple of minutes to rest”

Ben’s physiology had adapted to his massive binging sessions, he was still the same country boy that could eat and be hungry thirty minutes later, just with a bigger stomach and a fuck ton more food. I handed him his refilled tankard of iced rootbeer, knowing it would cleanse his palate and help dinner settle in his belly. Eyes still closed, I helped him guide it to his lips and loosing the last of his politeness he chugged the icy cold soda down, letting drips spill out of the corner of his mouth and down his chins. I reached up swiftly with a napkin catching the drips.

-“Uhhh thanks... I totally needed that... this stuff is heavy” he nodded at a table covered in empty plates, three empty stacked bowls of ranch, milkshake glasses sucked dry with a cherry stem stuck too the side, I ate the cherries, Ben didn’t like them. I kept rubbing the top of his gut, letting him begin digesting thousands of calories.

-“Uhhhhhh... good” he moaned” leaning back far and starting to do his favourite trick again, pushing his hips forward slightly so his under belly roll rubbed off his cock and he was able to  jerk off without touching himself. He moaned again louder, the combined feeling of a full belly sloshing round and the pressure of his bulging soft under belly rolls rubbing against his cock driving his mind to dark places. Ben leaked when he ate to full, giving him the ability to jerk himself to completion if he wanted.

“Stop that, I know what you’re doing...you’re being really loud. I’ll get you off later!” He ignored me.

“Baby, If you don’t stop that right now, we can leave without desert.” Ben’s ears pricked up, already feeling an empty space at the top of his gut forming that would perfectly fit a couple of slices of pie or an ice cream sundae.  Rounding out another meal, he didn’t want to leave.

The waitress cleared the table and deposited two thick double slices of pie and a 8 scoop ice cream sundae ‘to share’ I prepaid the check tipping her again to leave us alone. I didn’t know how long Ben would take to force these down. Finished with cutlery and tired of having to leaning forward to reach the table passed his gut Ben scooted his hips down forcing the top of his belly horizontal. it was harder for him to breath with it in this position but easier to eat. The back of the chair strained taking the shift in weight and the rolls at the backside of his Ben’s love handles splitting down the middle and half swallowing the back of the chair. He balanced the plate on the now flat top of his gut and picked up the whole slice of pie with his chubby fingers being careful not to crush it. Rubbing it in whipped cream, he brought it to his mouth. His features were’ almost indistinguishable as he shoved the slice in his face chewing and swallowing. His thick neck roll all the way around, bulging out at his ears, his chubby inflated cheeks, his short piggy nose he took deep breaths in and out of that made his tits wobble and threatened to knock the plate off his chest were all swollen up, each fighting for space. He worked his well trained lips and tongue around the slices of pie, getting a remarkable amount into his mouth and only a few crumbs on the shirt.

By the time both pie slices had disappeared Ben had well and truly lost the will to feed himself. Unable to shift his body or the chairs that anchored him solidly to the floor even an inch back, I pulled the table forward from where it had began to press against his belly.

“You know I love you right bubba”

-“Unf... yeah”

“100 inches... I’m so proud”

-Unf... yeah...” he shifted his weight a tiny fraction of an inch again, before giving up moaning, knowing there was no comfortable position to take the pressure off his gut. I loved when he reached the compliant monosyllabic stage of fullness and gluttony.

I picked up a spoonful of ice cream, bringing it to his mouth. He moaned again, pushing his lips apart and accepting the ice cream. We continued, him accepting tiny spoonfulls of chocolate, strawberry, caramel, vanilla ice cream compared to usual heaped spoonfuls covered in cream and syrup he usually shovelled in. Ben ate at the slowest pace I had ever seen him. His closed his eyes and after a while just kept them closed, moaning and muttering “please” and “more.’ I lost track of time and the last third of Ben’s Ice cream melted into a puddle at the bottom of the serving dish. The restaurant completely emptied out. We kept having to take 5 min breaks while I rubbed his belly until he was able to speak a little.

“Fuckkkk... I’m so full, please baby... please, I have to get fatter”

“Is there more left, please... I like the chocolate, I really like it, is there any more?”

“One... hundred... fucking.... inches, it feels so good. Thank you baby”

I was scraping the bottom of the dish, sad that the end was coming, but there would be many more. Ben had a way still to go, he was determined to gain and loved every lb of blubber we added to his growing fat body more than the last. I was downing my second espresso, getting the energy together to start the trip home. Ben laying back in his two chairs, eyes closed, breathing in and growling like bull as he exhaled. he might have be asleep even.

“Okay”

I said growling at him, getting to my own feet and feeling stiff after what must have been at least three hours.

“Time to go big boy” he nodded and leaned forward, grabbing my forearms and planting his feet for leverage. His ass made it a whole inch up from the seat of both chairs, the joints springing back into their original unburdened position before his fat ass came crashing back down, seriously threatening to collapse the things entirely. We tried again and the same thing happened, Ben’s leg muscles just not strong enough to bring his food filled body to a standing position.

“I think we may have over done it” I said. About 20 mins had passed since he had finished the ice cream and the most painful part of Ben’s fullness had subsided.

-“Haha... yeah... I guess we did.” He laughed back. “What do we do now?”

“Stay for dinner”, I suggested, only half joking. I was always pushing Ben’s limits, both physically and mentally.

-“Yeah, that’s an option, but I want to have some us time. Okay....help me get these chairs back and lets try once more, third time lucky. Will you do me a favour when we get home”

“Sure baby, anything.”

-“Will you get the tape out again, I want to be sure”

[system76]

System76 Spotlight with Adam Balla

Welcome to the first of an ongoing series where we get to know some of the amazing people behind System76! This week, we kick things off with one of our newest members, Adam Balla (AKA chzbacon), who has just joined the Marketing Team as our Content Producer. Learn what makes his content creation heart go pitter-patter, and why his electric smoker is his must-have cooking appliance.

When did you first become interested in Linux computer systems?

When my roommate introduced me to Slackware in 1999, he was working as a Linux system admin and he really got me interested in Linux. I was going to the Art Institute of Houston at the time for a Multimedia Design degree, and the thought that you could create your own desktop operating system really appealed to me. I didn’t need to stare at the same old tacky operating system I’d used for years.

I found myself, like many nerds of the era, at a Micro Center in the early 2000s rummaging through the discount software bins, trying to snag up multi-CD Linux distributions. This journey exposed me to several of today’s most popular Linux distros. One of those was SUSE Linux 5.3, of which I still keep the tattered book on a bookshelf as a reminder. I did however finally find my place in the world of Debian, which is where I essentially live today. Honestly not much has really changed other than using Pop!_OS as my main distribution—though like any Linux diehard, I still love to download, test, and sometimes install all the Linux.

When did you start becoming a champion for open source hardware and software?

It was a few years after that. Once I got back from the Art Institute and I was working in the area, we needed a server for the screen printing shop that I worked at. Knowing about Linux at that point, I was able to set up a server using consumer-grade gear that we could store all of our artwork and assets on. Moving forward, I set up a server for the newspaper that I worked at for a decade, which I know is still running to this day. After using Linux in that sort of environment and knowing it was good enough for a business, I knew it was good enough for me and my needs.

How did you get involved in content creation as a career?

My father was an engineer. When I was young I was always, like most kids, into drawing cars and doodles and cartoons, but I was used to having a drafting table at the house. Computing came around, and my father bought an IBM 486 and one of the original digitizing tablets, and so I got to play around with that. Eventually, he got upset because I was on the computer more than he was, so he bought me an IBM 386 to use.

Around 1995, my dad learned from a coworker about Photoshop. I begged him to get me a copy, and he finally did for Christmas. That’s when I started playing around in Photoshop and really fell into wanting to create for a living. Similar to what my father does, but maybe not as stringent in the decision that I make—no building is going to fall down from my creative process.

And that’s how I got into the whole content creation piece. I created a cover for the album of my high school bands and then started doing work for more local bands. Back then, there were no digital art courses, so I learned a lot by doing and trial/error.

What is your favorite part of the creative process?

Working together as a team during the initial brainstorming process. Going through all of the ideas and details, sometimes writing them down, sometimes not, and even laughing at myself at how ridiculous an idea may sound. I love the process of the very first step. I love to set the vision for the project work from there to turn that vision into reality.

How did you first learn about System76?

I first learned about System76 through Chris Fisher and Jupiter Broadcasting. I believe they were reviewing the Leopard Extreme in 2012, on what at that time was the Linux Action Show. That’s when I started to look at System 76 and their offerings and wondered if it would be better for me to build my own Linux desktop, or adopt something and support the open source community. It’s been a little while since then, and I’ve always kept my eye on System76. Then with the release of Thelio, that really pushed me to the point of, “Wow, these guys are creating their own beautiful custom chassis and they’re incorporating different materials together. What a beautiful machine.”

I was speaking to my wife (financial advisor) about purchasing one in 2019, and I spoke to Emma and some other people at System76 about my desire for one, and I don’t know how, but Emma encouraged me not to buy one! And then I was given the opportunity to come to System76 for the Superfan event, where I was fortunate enough to be one of a dozen people who were gifted a Thelio desktop. It sits on my desk to this day; I even bought a larger desk just so I could put it up there and see it every day. I really appreciate the humble beginnings of System76, and I’m so glad to finally be a part of this amazing team.

Let's get into that creative brain. What is your favorite viral video and/or ad, and why do you love it so much?

I have a few ads that I like. I’ve always liked Honda’s messaging and their ads.

I like these ads because of the way in which they go through their history and lineage and the way that Honda itself has marketed its products as “People First” products—very similar to when they introduced their motorcycles to the US with their “You meet the nicest people on a Honda,” campaign. I think that was in 1962, so this was during the height of the motorcycle gang craze. Then comes this little Japanese motorcycle company and markets their products in a completely opposite image from the rest of the industry. They dared to be different and it paid off for them. Selling over 100 million Honda Cubs since 1958. Being given the title of most produced motor vehicle in the world.

This may come as a surprise to some, but I also really love the original Orwellian-inspired Macintosh commercial, which only aired once during the 1984 Super Bowl. Created by Steve Hayden, Brent Thomas and Lee Clow. In my opinion, these guys really created disruptive advertising, so much so that the ad still resonates today as much as it did then. While I don’t think you need to incite fear to sell a product, it showed that Apple dared to be different.

I’m not sure what constitutes a viral video these days. I’m not sure if it’s having a billion trillion views or just simply infecting one person who saw your video. One that always gives me a chuckle has to be “News Anchor Laughs At Worst Police Sketch Fail”. The honesty on the anchor's face makes me lose it every time.

When you’re not helping to lead the Open Source revolution, what do you like to do with your free time?

I really like going on walks and taking photos. Photography to me is one of the last honest art forms. What you see really is what you get. I love to tinker and make things, I have a 3D printer that my wife and I purchased as a joint valentine’s gift to each other last year. We started using it right when COVID broke out, so we made around 900 face shields which we distributed to schools, day cares, dentist's offices, anyone who needed one. That’s what we did for about the first 6 months when we first got it. Now, my wife loves to print earrings, for example, and I like to build different fun electronics projects.

I also love to cook, especially for large groups. I just got done with an Easter Weekend + Birthday celebration where we cooked 100 lbs of crawfish, 10 lbs of pork shoulder, sausage, and boudin (which is basically rice and pieces of pork that have been mixed together with seasonings and then put into a casing like sausage). One of my main requirements actually for a place in Denver is somewhere I can bring my electric smoker. It’s a must-have for any Texan.

What are you most excited about with your new role here at System76? To help change the computing landscape as we know it today. Into a future where technology is free and open. A world where you're encouraged to break things, fix things, and learn how they work. Aside from changing the world and stuff, I'm really excited to have a chance to work with such an insanely talented group of people.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

What did you think about Astrucs stance on ladybug being the leader of the team? I feel that lb and cn are more the "brains and brawn" dynamic, and it's just that setting up a convoluted trap makes a more interesting fight than chats simpler method of "fight the akuma, break the object, problem solved" so it's not so much chat being sidelined as chats just not being given the opportunity to play to his strengths.

Ladybug is the main character, so her being the leader is kind of expected. So Thomas isn't wrong, It is his show, he can write it however.

(This gets a little bit rant-y so forgive me anon)

Chat noir would not argue that Ladybug is in charge. The only time he has an issue is when he is kept in the dark on something, which is honestly fair.

I think the problem with show’s dynamic boils down to Balance.

They go with the Yin-yang, creation destruction angle on the show. So Ladybug and Chat noir are partners. From that angle you would think that the show would Play off that. Have some situations play more towards Ladybug being more capable then other episodes have  chat noir really have a capable day. But 95% of the time, The problem is always more complicated and Ladybug needs to solve the puzzle. Chat noir is more of a meat shield. Which considering how the powers were distributed, Ladybug NEEDS to always be there because she has the power to fix everything. Marinette is the MC, so of course she needs to be at the forefront, but the show really just has chat noir mostly be the sidekick. If you really disect the episodes, how many times was Chat noir needed for his power/ his skills, or his abilities? Could Chat noir have been replaced with any other hero? If you go through season 1, you argue that he was specifically key in defeating the akuma 7 times. Origins, Darkblade, Bubbler,  Reflekta, Gamer, Pixelator, and The Mime.

How many times was he actually more of a hinderance then help?  About 7

Evillustrator, Dark cupid, The Puppeteer, Antibug,  Princess Fragrance, Lady Wifi, Copy cat (cause he CAUSED IT)

The rest of the episodes he had no direct roll that could have easily been replaced with another hero with no difference in outcome.

If we go to season 2, the usefulness of chat noir is at least Slightly better. with having and Episode where Cataclysm was actually 100% needed to defeat an akuma. But the dynamic of the partner ship was sliding as Ladybug was taking the guardian role and he was left in the dark for half the season.

By season 3, Chat noir is pretty much equal to that of the temporary heroes but with the exception that Ladybug doesn't know his identity. The season 3 finale, Oblivio, Gamer 2.0 and Desperada try so hard to fight against this, but the show ‘s pattern just gives that vibe, Reflekdoll especially shows how replaceable chat noir is in a physical sense. The episode all but said he was a useless sack of garbage. (don't act like it didn't)

HOWEVER

The does get the Emotional moments involving Chat noir accurate. Chat noir is the heart of the duo, Ladybug is the brains. The moments where chat noir is most crucial is as the emotional center, helping Ladybug find her center, helping her calm down when she starts feeling overwhelmed. In that regard, Chat noir is Ladybug’s perfect partner.

Ladybug being the Leader makes sense, she is the guardian, she is the brains. But would it kill the show to Try and Make Chat noir a bit more capable? I don't want him as the MC, I just want him to actually be more useful in a physical sense, the lack of balance in this yet they push for the balance Yin-yang. It is infuriating as a writer? Whats is the point of even having this balance? Why is the cat miraculous so needed with the ladybug one? Just make the Ladybug miraculous the only valuable one and NO ONE would really care! It would eliminate the need to have a balanced Dynamic, Chat noir can still be the heart of the duo, and I wouldn't have such a f***ing headache over this.

[maxdark158]

HEAR ME OUT - I’VE GOT AN AU IDEA

Okay, so I have too much on my plate with Demon in Gotham, the sequel, and my and @slytherinsheashire ‘s baby so I can’t write this au out as a story but I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so if any of you write this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tag me

Daminette endgame (through really can work with any ship in the maribat fandom)

So I know in most Daminette AUs we hate on Adrien because of his flaws in canon (which I am not against)

BUUUUT au where there was no love interest for Adrien/Chat Noir and Ladybug/Marinette to begin with, so they were Best Friends, and still are when Damian comes in

Like he is protective because That's My BFF but he's reasonable and not in love with her

He also actually has her back with Lila. He can't stand up stand up to her (because abusive father) but he hangs out with Marinette whenever he can and they make fun of Lila together when she can't hear them and he is passive-aggressive with her a lot

He likes Damian but by Rule of Best Friends he does threaten him if he hurts his BFF

Alya is still a jerk but Adrien is passive (agreste)sive with her too about fact-checking

Also, Alya totally thinks Mari liked Adrien and doesn’t listen to Mari saying no

CN completely hates Lila btw because not only is she lying about Red Best Friend but she's bullying Pink Best Friend and while Adrien has to be nice CN doesn't!

A mental image: Adrien telling Lila she looks pretty, "today," before running off before she picks up on the insult

He also as CN takes his job more seriously and only banters on patrol and such. He didn't at first but LB took him aside and explained why she was annoyed and he stopped – because that’s what you do when your BFF asks you to!!

When the reveal happens Adrien is like, "you are my mega ultra best friend now"

Because I don't really ship Adrien with anyone but Mari I HC that in this au he's aro ace. If you ship him with someone he can just not be interested in Mari (gaydrien is also an option) but the rest of this will continue as if he is aro ace, change as needed if you write differently

He and Mari are the closest two BFFs can be but she and Damian are the ones with romantic feelings and such

Adrien is actually the one who suggests giving the Fox to Damian when Alya shows no signs on improving

He’s just the bestest of best friends and he never feels like Mari owes him anything and he gives terrible dating advice and they’re just! Best Friends!!

He also recognizes his dad as abusive and is trying to better himself while being under his father’s thumb. He’s essentially counting down the days to freedom at this point

Gabriel is Adrien-phobic, sexuality included. Adrien hasn’t come out to him and he never plans to

A quick list of episode fixes in random order--

Stoneheart – is the same up until they ‘fall in love’ CN is just super excited to have someone as awesome as LB as a friend. Mari doesn’t fall in love but she is a bit awkward with her new BFF at first

Stormy Weather – Alya, Manon, and Marinette all went to the park to bring Adrien a snack in stormy weather because he complained about his diet

CN banters, doesn’t flirt, stops bantering around Copycat when LB asks if he can focus on work when there is an akuma

Horrificator – Adrien was anti kiss no matter who the actress was. Nino, realizing he was making his bro uncomfortable, forgoes the kiss completely, despite Alya suddenly pushing for it once Marinette was volunteered as the lead girl

Animan – Adrien asked Mari if she had a crush on anyone first, because he didn’t want to put her in a situation where she was accidentally leading Nino on. All four of them end up going to the zoo together as planned but Mari locked Alya and Nino in the cage because Alya was annoying her about a ‘crush’ on Adrien

Dark Cupid – LB was venting about Alya trying to get her to confess her nonexistent crush and CN was ranting about ppl sending him letters without even knowing him or his sexuality. He teared up in his rant (when mentioning his father probs) and she hugged him and he saw Dark Cupid and shielded her. She kissed his cheek to break the spell

Prime Queen – Chamack was pushy with them being a couple but they both outright denied it and declared themselves best friends and only that. Mari, resident Bi, came out as lesbian as LB to throw ppl off her trail and make pushy shippers stop. CN hesitated about coming out as ace and, in private, told him he didn’t have to

Volpina – Adrien realized Lila was flirting and shut her down right away, saying he wasn’t interested. Marinette happened to be in the library at the time and she and Tikki saw her steal the book. As LB she confronted Lila about stealing and asked for it back. LB calmly and politely told her not to lie – Lila still gets akumatized. Because Adrien shut Lila down pre-superhero lie CN isn’t suspicious, LB is

Collector – When LB says Gabriel is HM, CN takes a moment to breathe before getting ready to fight. After the akuma he asks if HM can akumatize himself, and they both decide to start tracking akuma when they can

Gamer – lucky charm scene still happens, no romantic connotations to anything. Same with Befana

Bubbler – LB changes the music because Adrien looked so uncomfortable – not out of jealousy. Adrien sees her stitched name in the fabric and asks her privately. This is what starts him on the road of growing independent from his father’s abuse and lack of care

Rogercop – Adrien doesn’t even call his father. He doesn’t want him there and he wouldn’t come anyway, so he doesn’t try. However, he does use the ‘gotta call my father’ excuse to try and help Plagg out of the bracelet

Simon Says – Adrien accepts the hug from his father bug tells Plagg that it would have been warmer to hug a statue after, and he almost wishes his father hadn’t tainted the memory of hugs as a child. The ‘she looks like you’ scene still happens but it’s platonic. Adrien is bouncing and excited in all the Ladrien scenes because BEST FRIEND! RIGHT THERE!!!

Gigantian – the girls don’t do the date thing and are just doing each others’ hair for fun. Alya keeps insisting that Mari do something about her ‘crush’ but the other girls take Marinette’s side and she quits arguing while she’s ahead. Adrien wanders off which is how the akuma glances off Gorilla, then Mari pretends to be sick in the bathroom while going out to become LB

Glaciator – Marinette is upset because her BFF can’t go but she doesn’t get mad so no akuma

Gorilla – Marinette doesn’t really like the commercial because it doesn’t really fit the pun-loving dork that is her BFF but she still manages to be late to the pool then runs around with her BFF in her PJs which she isn’t embarrassed about. She gets mad on Adrien’s behalf when ppl call her his gf

Captain Hardrock – Mari gets a bit of a crush on Luka, Adrien 100% teases her and gives her bad dating advice

Syren – Adrien is upset that he’s out of the loop, but LB told him that she CAN’T tell him and it isn’t her choice to so he doesn’t throw a fit. He does detransform to talk out his feelings with Plagg but he doesn’t threaten to remove the ring or anything

Troublemaker, she has photos of all her classmates on her wall (she actually has the most of Juleka as proof of her picture curse being broken) and she has all her classmates’ schedules because class pres

Reverser – Nathaniel actually apologizes. Like that’s my only change tbh. I ship them but the writers should have included an apology scene, that’s on them (I fully believe Nathaniel apologized but the writers didn’t care enough to include it so f them)

Frozer – they all go to the rink as friends. Adrien invited Kagami for fun and they’re both trying to help Mari with Luka. Kagaminette friendship from that episode onward

Catalyst and Mayura – Alya’s headstrong-ness and Nino’s willingness to do what she says is what brings them down, to show their flaws beforehand. Chloe’s redemption isn’t thrown away like in canon so she has gotten better. CN recognizes his father’s voice but doesn’t react to it because he doesn’t want to expose himself. After Hero’s Day, he tells LB he knows who HM is and accidentally spills his identity – but she doesn't care at the moment because her BFF needs a hug. He doesn’t know LB’s identity but she knows his

Timebreaker, Evillustrator, Mr. Pidgeon, Darkblade, Princess Fragrance, The Mime, Pixelator, Guitar Villain, Reflecta, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Antibug, Riposte, Robostus, Dark Owl, Sapotis, Gorilla, Frightningale, Zombizou, Queen Wasp, Maledictator, Anansi, Style Queen, and Despair Bear are the same just no lovesquare romance

Chameleon – Adrien doesn’t say the bull about the High Road, because he reconizes Lila is hurting Marinette. “But look at it this way – Ladybug calmly asked her to stop lying. I calmly asked her to stop lying. She gets akumatized no matter what. I think exposing her would just get us more trouble. We should stand up for ourselves, of course, but let the others realize for themselves that she’s a liar. Or at least wait until Hawkmoth is defeated before you expose her. Then she won’t get any superpowers out of it.”

At some point after that Mari says smth that LB said and he realizes who she is but that’s up to the writer to decide because then Damian Wayne enters the scene!

So Mari knows who HM is but she doesn’t know where to begin with that information so she asks Tikki for help. Tikki says one of her previous LBs are still alive and Mari contacts Hippolyta with magic

Hippolyta contacts Wonder Woman and WW realizes this may be better suited to someone who knows humans better so she passes the message along to Bruce

Bruce sighs and rubs his temple. He decides to send Damian

BTW time is actually passing through these episodes so everyone is about a month-ish apart so Mari is 15 almost 16 and Adrien is 16 now

Bruce sends Damian to help them with the final takedown of HM and Mayura

Now, some funny convos with BFF Adrienette

oooOOOooo

Alya: Marinette is being such a jerk to Lila!

Adrien: Huh. Marinette is almost never a jerk unless it's someone like Chloe.

Alya: W-Well she clearly changed!

Adrien: If you say so. I'm assuming you saw this yourself?

Later

Adrien: UGH! Alya has like become Lila's most loyal follower I swear, this is so annoying

Marinette, patting his back: you're being a brave soldier, facing that every day

Adrien: I just wish she'd stop putting her hands on me. I'm literally wearing the aromantic and asexual flags! I'm not interested!

Marinette; I think Kim noticed. He was looking at the situation and went to talk to Miss Bustier.

Adrien: Oh thank the kwami. Enough about me though. Tell me about this cutie from Gotham you like?

oooOOOooo

Adrien: UGHH I have to take Lila to this gala AGAIN!!

Marinette; I'm going too, Damian invited me.

Adrien: THANK THE KWAMI I'll ditch Lila as soon as possible. Your boyfriend is fully willing to roast without his dad disowning him, right?

Marinette: one, we aren't dating yet, and two, yes

Adrien: YES!! Also, Mari don't kid you two will date soon I know these things

oooOOOooo

Adrien's love advice is almost always, "just tell him you love him," because he doesn't understand how nerve-wracking it is. Or he steals a confession scene idea from an anime or fanfic, depends on the situation

Marinette: How should I confess to Damian??

Adrien: Just do it?? Walk right up to him and say you love him. Easy peasy!

Marinette: you do not understand how much I Can Not do that

Adrien: ... alright, plan B is you start working at a coffee shop-

[one-leaf-grimoire]

OC Profile: Lisa

I decided to do one of these like everyone else. Not everyone wants to read a 100 chapter fic so this should be a bit more digestible lol.

Anyway, here's Lisa!!! She's a mess but at the core of it all, she's babey.

Basics

Name: Lisa Ambrose Petalon

Ambrose- Greek “ambrosios” (immortal)

Petalon- Greek “butterfly”

Age: 26 (at time of canon)

Occupation: Currently a Royal Advisor, formerly a Magic Knight

Place of Birth: A small town at the edge of the common realm, near the border with the Diamond Kingdom.

Current Residence: Clover Caste

Social Class: Commoner by birth, Noble by marriage

Magic

Grimoire Appearance: Lisa’s Grimoire is a light blue color, matching her magic. It only has a little dark blue trim around the edges and a three-leaved clover in the middle, without any other decoration.

Magic: Lisa’s primary attribute is blue flame magic. However, she inherits Dyad magic from her father’s ancestors, which allows her to combine her magic with another person. Because of this, she now uses Time Magic as well.

Spells:

Solar Bolt- a super-heated, super fast bolt of fire that cauterizes the wound it creates as it moves through a person. The shock from the impact usually knocks the opponent off.

Solar Blitz- an explosion of Solar Bolts from every part of the users body, usually only one use at a time. More recently, Lisa can shoot other spells from its tip.

Flaming Condor- entity created by creation magic that can fly the user around and administer a powerful diving attack. However, it’s very clumsy and Lisa can’t ride on it for long.

Sun God's Leap- Creates winged shoes and a mana-amplifying aura that allows the user to fly.

Dyad- This spell, which only manifests once per generation, creates a magical link with another person, combining their mana into a never-ending, infinite loop that amplifies it to amazing levels. The Dyad is so potent that its mana lingers far after it’s over, and full separation is never possible. The users will carry a shard of each other’s souls within them for the rest of their lives.

Simulcian nonsense: The Simulcian civilization was a small, island nation off the coast of the diamond kingdom, who’s people had magic marks on their body. Each generation was lead by a Dyad, and all Simulcians could tap into the great mana they had. Simulcians believe very strongly in fate, as they also believe they are descended from a Goddess of Fate... the accuracy of this is debatable. However, the Simulcians were all killed in a “natural disaster” caused by a Dyad, who was being manipulated by their son. This son happened to be Mikal, Lisa’s uncle. Mikal relocated himself and his family to the Diamond Kingdom, where the Dyad were forced to fight for the DK while Mikal enacted his plan. Over 100 years, he artificially created his brothers and sisters to be synchronized into Tetrads, Triads, and Septads. His goal was to make seven Septads, who’s resonance would be enough to control humans as well. However, this was stopped by Lisa, who freed the rest of her family. Read Dyad for more details I guess lol. BTW: Simulcians claim to be a distinct species from Humans. This is still an unanswered question, but sometimes Lisa feels very detached from her humanity. 

Physical

Height: 5′6″ (~168 cm)

Weight: 126 lbs (~57 kg)

Race: White // Human-Simulcian Hybrid

Description: She has short, neck-length auburn hair that curls up pretty dramatically, and it’s usually a little messy. Her eyes are black, so dark black that you can’t see her pupils. She is fairly petite, lean, but surprisingly strong.

Clothing: She’s often seen wearing her short blue uniform dress over tights and a shirt with fringed wrists and neckline. She opts to just wear her red cape instead of the usual advisor cloak.

Scars/Tattoos/other marks: Her most distinguishing features is the mark on her forehead, in the shape of a stylized infinity sign. It constantly has a dull blue glow from both loops. She has one tattoo in the shape of an arrow that snakes around her arm. Julius wanted to get a matching one but he could only take about a minute of it-

Abnormalities: Lisa's magic mark constantly channels mana through her body, amplifying her magic and giving her some strange side effects. She no longer needs to eat, drink, or sleep (even though she still likes cooking and coffee). Also, any diseases that enter her body are immediately killed off. Her aging has slowed to almost a complete stop. Probably the most drastic side effect is that she is sterile (at least- for now-), and won't have any children.

Relationships

Family:

Easton Petalon (father/deceased): Owner of a Tavern in town, which he inherited from his father-in-law. A happy-go-lucky yet mysterious man who loved nothing more than his only daughter. He died in a Diamond Kingdom raid.

Arleth Petalon (mother/alive)- Waitress. She was a cheerful, energetic woman with a dream of having a large family. However, once it became obvious that dream was done for, she distanced herself from her husband and developed a bitter hatred of her daughter, who she irrationally blamed for her infertility.

Lyra Ambrose (cousin/alive)- despite being a bit of an airhead, she’s one of Lisa’s best friends.

Other cousins: Rocco and Patrick Ambrose

Aunt: Portia Ambrose

Friends:

Marx Francois- Lisa met Marx shortly after she started seeing Julius. They got along, which was good because Lisa eventually ended up working with him for many years. She considers him to be her best friend.

Fuegoleon Vermilion- Fuegoleon took Lisa under his wing when she first joined his squad. Then vice-captain, the two went on many missions together and became pretty good friends.

Yami Sukehiro- Lisa met Yami through William, and Yami quickly took a liking to her. He never misses the chance to tease her for something, usually her magic mark on her head or her “sugar baby” status.

William Vangeance- When Lisa was 15, she took the MK exam for the first time, and ended up going against William for the 1 on 1 portion. She lost and ended up failing the exam, but William encouraged her to keep trying. Years later, they met again, and their friendship resumed. 

Mereoleona Vermillion: When Lisa was 11, a certain royal stopped in town on her way back to the capitol. Mereoleona thought Lisa was a nosy kid, but encouraged her to try out for the MK so she could spite the other kids in her town. Years later, they meet again, and Lisa regularly visits her in the strong magic region to be trained.

Enemies:

Patri+the Eye of the Midnight Sun- Patri had been watching Lisa through William’s eyes for a long time. He recognized her to be the reincarnation of the elf Saida. Right after the MK exam one year, Lisa was abducted by the EMS, where Patri attempted to cast the evil eye spell. However, it was unsuccessful, and Lisa was able to escape. 

Augustus Kira- Yes, Lisa has her own feud with the King. Julius made the mistake of leaving her alone in the castle, where Augustus quickly showed up and tried to make a move. Lisa, of course, didn’t like this and ended up elbowing him in the face and breaking his nose. Soon after, Augustus realized that she and Julius were in a relationship, and decided that executing her would be a victory against Julius. Luckily, Lisa was able to get out of it, but ended up being stripped of her status as a MK.

Mikal- This is kind of a Dyad thing, but Mikal attempted to use Lisa to enact a plan that would pull many many humans under his control. Luckily, this plan was thwarted and Mikal was killed by Lisa and Julius.

Romantic Relationships:

Julius Novachrono (Dating/later married)- By some strange stroke of fate, Julius and the Grey Deer were close by when Lisa’s town was raided by the Diamond Kingdom. After it was over, Lisa’s magic was awakened, she had a weird mark on her head, and her father was dead. The newly-coronated Wizard King encouraged her to try out for the MK again, while he researched the strange magical presence that was now within her. Lisa found herself admiring him, and it quickly became clear that it was something more than just respect. As for Julius... well, she was cute, had really cool magic, and was a delight to be around. They both made points to spend lots of time together, growing closer and closer. However, things escalated after an assassination attempt, which Lisa thwarted herself. Lisa pushed past her limits once she realized that this desperation was love, and ended up getting gravely injured while fighting. Julius realized that she was special, more special than anyone else, and someone he had to have by his side. However, they faced a big problem when they found out that Lisa was sterile. Julius had confided in her before that he was excited to have a big family with her, and Lisa felt terribly guilty about it. She wouldn't have blamed him if he wanted to end things after that, but Julius, in true Julius fashion, pulled her from her lowest point and made it clear that he was never going to leave her. She was made for him, and he was made for her. The rest is history :))

Personality/Beliefs

Personality: At her core, Lisa strives to be a free-spirited, dependable, and energetic person. She devotes herself entirely to any task she sets for herself and never leaves anything unfinished. But even though she is genuinely interested, polite, and kind to others, there is a subtle distance to her that most people will never quite cross. Lisa’s true self is a closely guarded secret, something people only see in short glimpses. She’s very good at controlling her image, but Julius is the one person who knows her inside and out. Lisa’s very afraid of opening up any vulnerabilities and likes to feel like she’s in control. She is extremely devoted to Julius, the only person she believes would love her unconditionally. The two of them have shared more of themselves than any couple has, and it has gotten to the point that they are described as “so similar, it’s almost scary.”

Religion: Lisa doesn’t really consider herself religious, even though she was brought up worshiping whatever most Clover citizens worship.

Greatest fear: Being left alone in this life, disappointing others, being helpless

Morality: Lisa’s psychology and distance from her humanity have bred some very strange morals within her. She struggles with her individuality at times, stemming from the Dyad she formed with Julius. To be in a Dyad is to let part of your self be destroyed, and sometimes she feels like she’ll never quite be whole without Julius around. Because of this, her views on death, murder, even good and evil are skewed. Is she even human? That’s a question she struggles with every day. She wants to be patriotic and selfless, but deep down inside she knows that she would willingly let everything burn if it would make her feel just a little bit better. Evil is something she doesn’t believe even exists; all people are selfish, vengeful, and dishonest, but they can still be loving or, at the very least, useful to her. She has killed before, countless times in war, and she believes that death is necessary if she deems it so. Even Julius, the most wonderful, pure person she knows, has blood on his hands, after all.

Despite this, Lisa manages to overcome any base instincts she has, and devotes herself entirely for the good of the Kingdom and, more specifically, Julius. In Lisa’s eyes, her love for him, and all the friends she's made over the years, is what makes her human. This strength and resilience has allowed her to defeat the darker side of herself, and turned her into someone many people are ready to follow.

[aryn-writes]

And we are back to over sharing to deal with my mental health

TW: Caps, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Depression, Anxiety

Venting Post!

I am so tired. And before you ask, yes I sleep over six hours every night. When I can, I sleep over 12. So my sleeping is not the issue.

The issue is that I have no fucking clue how to exist anymore.

I was initially trying to remain as the person that I was. They were a happyish ray of sunshine that was so good at helping people. And they did! People came to them daily to vent, get advice, or just letting them know that they are doing better. And I wasn’t doing great mentally then, but I was making improvements!

It has been over a year since we went into lockdown.

And you know, there have been good things that came out of the isolation.

I know I am nonbinary! And I was getting closer to dressing how I want!

But I am exhausted.

While I am at a healthy weight now, I have been slipping in and out of my ED habits. My family has also been continuously shitting on me for gaining weight. (if you’re curious, I am 5’4” [~162 cm] at 135 lbs [~61 kg]. I used to be at 100 lbs [45 kg]. And I would continuously dip back in double digits.) So, I have a fear that I’m going tot get bad again and that is just not something that I can handle at the moment.

I also can’t socialize, because holy fuck that shit is terrifying.

Like there are times when I can’t even talk to my family.

My closest friends? One of them messages me daily to make sure I’ve eaten at least one thing (which I agree, very kind, but I will explain why I don’t like it in a bit.) The other I haven’t talked to in months and it is so awkward when we try to talk. All the other people I used to consider close haven’t talked to me in a year, even after I would attempt to reach out to them.

I know that it is partially my fault; I am horrible at messaging and keeping conversations going is one of my weaker points, even in person. Along with that, I have been having depressive episodes more often that I care to keep track of, and I push people away and isolate myself during those times. So I get that it might be difficult to talk to me.

But there are people who I will reach out to, and they read the message and just don’t respond.

Like... I will literally say “hey! It’s been a while, how have you been?” (No response)

A week goes by

“I’m just checking in to make sure you’re doing alright” (left on read)

Another week

“Me and this person wanted to plan a small hang out online! She found this really cool website that we can play games, and we can use discord to chat. Wanna join?” (No response)

And it goes on.

For over seven months.

So if you have an active imagination and are prone to overthinking, you can imagine that my thoughts are “well shit. They just don’t like me and were only friendly bc i was dating him.” (Him being my ex boyfriend; we broke up a month into the quarantine.)

And so that kinda fucked with my anxiety even more.

I don’t blame them for not talking to me. The logical part of me understands that sometimes you just don’t respond, or maybe you forget or just don’t want to. I get that. But the part of me that has been overwhelming is pretty much like, everyone hates you and you’re a burden.

And it’s really hard to open up to the people you are close to when you feel this way.

So we come back to the close friend who checks that I’ve eaten.

He is wonderful, do not get me wrong. We became acquaintances around September 2019, and friends a few months after. At this time, I was dating my ex, who was an acquaintance to the close friend. (We are going to call the close friend Edward from here on out.)

At that time, I was struggling with my body image and my eating disorder. (Every year I go through a relapse and recovery, it fucking sucks and sometimes the relapse take over almost the whole year, but not the point right now.) One of his first memories of me is me having a panic attack because I ate a sandwich.

So during this pandemic, Edward has been messaging me to make sure I’m eating, because he doesn’t want me to get really bad again. Which is nice!

Except he doesn’t really understand mental illness.

He has been trying! Do not get me wrong, he does try. But his way of going about talking to me during a depressive episode is “Just don’t let it get to you” And “Be happy” and my favorite, “I don’t get why it’s so bad.”

😃🤡

Along with that, he gets incredibly upset when I don’t respond to his messages within like thirty minutes.

Keep in mind, I have been going through many, many depressive episodes and am constantly struggling to get out of bed and keep up with my school work. I have told him this. I have told him that sometimes I just cannot handle checking my messages and participating in conversation.

And a side note, I am in my last year of high school. Which mean I have online learning and in a few months I will be graduating. Which means I have a few classes I need to pass in order to graduate. If you keep up with most high schoolers, we have been getting an absurd amount of work with due dates every fucking day. That plus depression does not go well, and so I am very tired all the time, but since we have actual lectures instead of recordings, I keep my camera on for every single class because the teacher’s get sad if we don’t. And yes, there are classes where it is just me and the teacher with our cameras on. And yes I constantly disassociate during class and stop focusing because I forget to.

So yeah, it is fucking hard to just keep up with that, and socializing isn’t really something my brain sees as important because of the constant negative energy I receive when I do try to talk to people. So I have told him that as of late, it is just difficult to do much besides school, and things that produce any sort of serotonin or dopamine.

And he got upset that talking to him wasn’t making me happy!

Which, it does! Because he is a great friend! But he is so rude about the things involving my mental illnesses! And acts like he understands it better because he is in a psychology class! So in this state, I do not feel as comfortable talking to him since he only wants the ‘happy’ version of me that struggles to eat so that he can ‘fix’ my eating disorder and be able to feel like he did something!

But I continue to try to talk to him, because he is an only child and I am one of his only actual friends. (I really wish I was kidding, but when we became close, he told me that I was the first person to ever actually care about how he’s feeling and how he is actually doing rather than just taking advantage of his presence. He almost cried when I said that I appreciated his existence.)

And I do care about him. Edward is definitely a close friend, and I appreciate that he tries. But lately, he only does it for the validation of knowing he did something good, and it feels like he is just tired of having me around since I can’t bring myself to speak much.

So I have been trying to push myself to be a good friend to him. And I am doing what I can to pretend that I am getting better so that he can be happier. Which is just tiring me out even more.

I feel empty most of the time now, and I am so easily put over the edge. I can hide it pretty well, but it has been getting to the point where I am contemplating self harm again just to feel something.

I don’t remember how to properly do things. I am really just trying to get through every day. But it feels like I am headed straight for doom and I am so tired of it and I just want to leave!

Which in a few months, technically I will. I hope to go out of state for college (to get as far as I possibly can from all of this shit) but as I apply to more scholarships, I want to scream and cry because I have no clue how I am going to pay for college because my parents make too much money and my mother spends it all on herself so I am stressed out. I didn’t do enough extracurriculars, and I have been rejected from so many scholarships that it’ s starting to look like I might need to stay here, and I can’t do that. I just can’t.

So I have been crying and trying to escape from this shit, and I feel like at some point I might just constantly think that nothing is real and none of this shit matters, because that is on my mind more and more.

But hey! I have been reading, writing, gaming, watching anime and drawing to cope so that shit exists (even though it’s all shit so I won’t post it) and I’m making improvements with that so that is something?

I don’t fucking know lol.

I am just tired, and this was a rant. I don’t fucking care. Hope you have a good day!

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal 

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also  hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

[bugaboosandbees]

Rally to the Queen

Okay. I know that I shouldn’t be starting anything else new, and I definitely won’t start actually writing this until I finish with my Reine Ruse AU, but I ended up getting so attached to my Bee!Kagami design (and so salty about Onichan!Kagami) that I ended up with a whole slew of headcanons about a post-Riposte Bee!Kagami Kagaminette AU.

I call it Rally to the Queen.

Here’s what goes down.

This takes place immediately after Riposte.

Marinette still feels really bad about judging the point wrong. She talks to Adrien to ask how Kagami is doing. He says that he thinks that she’s okay now, but Kagami was totally exhibiting some behaviors that he recognized as the son of a largely absent parent with absurd standards. He doesn’t have the time he’d like to have to check in on Kagami, so he also tells Marinette that it sounded like Kagami was under a lot of pressure at home and was afraid of her mother judging her for losing the fight.

Marinette, of course, feels terrible and her patented Dupain-Cheng-family we-must-adopt-everyone genes kick in, so she decides to track down Kagami’s home address to apologize formally and to make sure that Kagami’s mom knows what really went down.

When she gets there, she’s flustered and awkward as usual but good-hearted and although Kagami’s mom initially is not thrilled about the weird intrusion, she doesn’t hate Marinette.

Since she’s there, she and Kagami end up chatting either that day or some other time. Marinette mentions that she’s looking forward to trying out for the fencing team again the following year to learn aside Adrien and Kagami.

Kagami realizes that she took the only spot on the team. She’s not the sort to feel bad about this and wouldn’t normally, but Marinette was being so kind and she’d actually tried to stand up to her mother for her, so she offers to give her fencing lessons. (Maybe she covers it up as extra practice for her as she’s not really much of a touchy-feely person.)

Anyway, Marinette starts going to Kagami’s house once a week for fencing practice. She always brings fresh baked goods. I don’t think Kagami has many friends, especially with how intense we’ve seen her family to be and being so new to Paris, so she might not really know how to deal with Marinette’s brand of friendship at first.

They become really good friends. I actually think they really would if they spent any sort of time together in canon without misunderstandings and Adrien and sometimes somewhat suspect writing in the way. They are both determined, powerful young women with hearts of steel and an unstoppable drive towards something that they’re very passionate about. They’re both straightforward and value honesty and dislike liars. They would be an UNSTOPPABLE team.

I don’t think Sapotis happens in this AU. There’s no salt against Alya here, but I think it would be reasonable for Marinette avoid giving a miraculous to her best friend no matter how much she’d like to share being superheroes with her. This is because Alya is shown in season one especially to be very adamant about revealing Ladybug’s identity. This was even the main goal of her akumatized form, Lady Wifi. Marinette loves Alya deeply, but I think that there would be reasonable doubt there about whether or not Alya would be able to keep her own secret or if she would use her position as a sometimes-superhero to discover more about Ladybug. We’ve seen in canon that Marinette obviously hates lying to her best friend, so I think it’s reasonable to think that she wouldn’t manufacture a situation where she had to do so even more.

Also, even though Anasai technically took place before Queen’s Battle, just go with me here and assume it didn’t and that Style Queen was the first akuma that Ladybug needed help with. We know that she picked the Bee miraculous in Style Queen and, as Marinette is good friends with Kagami already in this AU, she definitely sees how much this miraculous would play to her friend’s strengths. They also fence together all the time, so Marinette knows how Kagami fights and wouldn’t have to learn a new teammate’s style in the middle of an already complicated fight. Since Kagami isn’t Alya, she wouldn’t already be at the Effiel tower and wouldn’t be turned to glitter by Style Queen, so Marinette would be able to safely get the Bee miraculous to her.

Ladybug and Mitsubachi are a deadly combination. Style Queen never stood a chance. Everything goes pretty smoothly and Ladybug is able to get the Bee miraculous back from Kagami without incident. (That being said, Marinette is a flustered bi mess and totally fumbled once or twice in the fight because damn, Kagami makes a deadly and attractive superhero.)

And because I’m a sucker for redeeming Chloe I am physically incapable of leaving her out of this AU. Oops, lol. Without Queen Bee, the Queen’s Battle arc would definitely have some pretty substantial changes. Chloe’s mom would still be being pretty awful and Chloe wouldn’t have gotten her hands on the Bee miraculous. She’d still have to be upset enough to get akumatized over her mom (so Gabe wouldn’t give up being Hawkmoth (also, he’d have only just learned that the Guardian was in Paris so that might be another incentive)) but she wouldn’t become Queen Wasp because she was never Queen Bee in the first place.

Instead, she becomes a different sort of version of @imthepunchlord ‘s Princess Amour akumanette concept. She just really wants to be loved. Maybe instead of having a Chat Noir “knight” as the akumanette had, some ladybug merch of her’s would hold the akuma and turn into a version of Ladybug that would help and protect and validate Chloe as her knight. After LB beats this akuma, she has an honest talk with Chloe that night because she could see that Chloe was really struggling and, despite their very checkered past couldn’t help but wanting to help.

Ladybug gives Chloe some advice and Chloe does her level best to live up to it in her day to day life. It’s a long hard road and it doesn’t come easily, but every once in awhile Ladybug will drop by and knowing that her heroine is proud of her gives Chloe the push she needs to change for the better.

I should also mention that I’m switching the places of the fox and peacock miraculouses in this AU. If we’re still working with the headcanon that Mr. and Mrs. Agreste used the miraculouses that Gabe has, it makes sense that they’d have the butterfly because everything we’ve been lead to believe indicates that it was a good fit for Mrs. Agreste. That being said, what we know of the Peacock makes no effing sense for Gabe. He’s creative, crafty, and not above playing dirty. That man is a fox through and through, you can’t change my mind. Therefore, Fu has the peacock and the fox is the damaged miraculous sitting in the Agreste safe.

This is relevant, I promise.

So, Ladybug and Chat Noir have worked with Mitsubachi quite a few times. She fits pretty effortlessly into the team dynamic but is definitely with Ladybug in taking the job super seriously and not always being down with Chat’s attitude.

Kagami and Marinette are still hanging out. Kagami is falling for Marinette and Marinette is falling for Kagami, but Marinette had confided in Kagami earlier about her crush on Adrien, so Kagami thinks that Mari is still in love with Adrien and Marinette doesn’t think Kagami would be interested in her, so there’s an awful lot of mutual pining going on.

Hawkmoth is escalating and Fu approves of Kagami after testing her himself, so she gets the Bee miraculous on a permanent basis.

With the extra help, it’s a while before Ladybug’s lucky charm calls for another hero, but, when it does, she needs the peacock. Maybe she was going for Alya with this one, but, being the Ladyblogger, Alya has already gotten herself into the conflict and trapped by the akuma. As she’s looking around, Ladybug spots (lol, get it?) Chloe trying to get Sabrina and some other people to safety, consequently getting trapped or something. She goes to save Chloe, and when Chloe thanks her, she starts to wonder. Chloe has taken a good, hard look at herself and really improved in the past few months. She’s not perfect yet, but no one is. And, you know what? Getting the Ladybug miraculous went a long way towards making her a better Marinette. Mind made up, she offers the Peacock to Chloe and a new hero appears. (I’m thinking of naming Chloe’s peacock form Tirisi or Vindex -- Greek or Latin for (roughly) defender/protector/champion. See my rant on why the peacock miraculous’ powers make sense for my reasoning.)

Chloe gives the miraculous back when Ladybug asks and keeps working to improve herself so that her heroine might someday trust her again. (She loved being able to have the power and agency to connect with and help others -- she really loved feeling strong enough to save others and is starting to feel more confident that she can save herself.) She doesn’t spill her identity and becomes a reliable second-string hero when Ladybug’s lucky charm demands her presence.

Eventually turtle!Sabrina will also come into this AU because she really, really deserves her own character development. (And @mystery-vixen ‘ s design and art and @pyrepyro ‘s art for Turtle!Sabrina is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen in my life.) Maybe it’s some sort of Anasasi situation where Chloe’s in trouble and Sabrina is doing her level best to rescue her as a civilian, idk. (For turtle!Sabrina I was thinking Bouclier or Jadeite, unless you guys have ideas?)

Anyway, eventually, everyone has their miraculouses permanently. (This probably happens after Gabe and Natalie break out the fox.) Endgame is Kagaminette and Chlobrina, two sets of deadly wlw protecting Paris along with the bi disaster Chat Noir who is 100% willing to THROW THE FUCK DOWN with anyone who doesn’t respect the ladies of the superhero team. Chat Noir totally gets along with the whole squad, by the way. Between the four of them, the ladies are great friends and life coaches to our cat boi and help him work through what unhealthy attitudes he has in a respectful and caring way. They adopt him and are always hugging Chat or even just lightly resting a hand on his shoulder since they discovered he was touch-starved. (Especially Ladybug and Tirisi. All four would cut a bitch for that boy, but they’re the most touchy-feely.)

(Eventually snake!Luka joins the squad and he and Chat Noir get together and it’s just a giant group of badass queer superheroes kicking ass and protecting Paris.)

They eventually beat Hawkmoth and Adrien and Luka become the next Guardians (They’d do a great job, fight me). Marinette and Kagami are too busy for that anyway. They got married and Marinette started the world’s most successful fashion line while Kagami set some sort of ridiculous record for the number of gold medals a single person can win in fencing. Chloe and Sabrina get married and (because of Chloe) end up adopting a ridiculous amount of kids that they care for and love unconditionally.

Happily Ever After and The End. :)

Thanks for listening to my rant!

[clarkewilliams-blog]

     hey lads!!! i’m reese ( 21, est, they/them ) and this here is clarke. i’ve played too many versions of him but i’ve revamped him a bit here to make him a slightly better player so he can have the contract that would let him fit somewhat into this rp lmao. all you need to know about me is that i fucking love hockey and my og team fucking sucks so all i’ve done for the past five years is love on prospects and watch them develop and ( sometimes ) make it to the nhl. so i apologize in advance for going absolute ham on the details of clarke’s path to the nhl no one cares abt. clarke’s a mix of some of my fav nhl prospects and players which i’ll list at the end if anyone cares. also i don’t really know anything about the rangers besides lundqvist being the king and how to properly pronounce skjei so bear with me here.

     i’m always super excited to play clarke, so let’s get to it!!!

          gregg sulkin. male. he/him.  ／  clarke williams just pulled up blasting high hopes by panic! at the disco — that song is so them! you know, for a twenty-four year old nyr defenseman, i’ve heard they’re really -private, but that they make up for it by being so +easygoing. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say cold lakewater against sweaty skin, the cool shadows around a spotlight, and an easy smile captured by an unnoticed camera. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble! ( reese, 21, est, they/them)

THE STORY

--- clarke williams was born on the coldest day of december in a snowstorm, it was only fitting then he would love the cold like nothing else. he fell in love with skating long before he did the sport of hockey : he loved how it made him feel, how exhilarating and freeing it was. when he was eight, he picked up his first hockey stick ( a little LATE by some standards ) and fell in love again.

--- he ascended beyond his peers quickly, driving the game from the blue line even at a young age. his high school made a bid for the coveted state championship TWICE : once his freshman year and again his sophomore year. they never did make it all the way and that’s something he wishes he could have experienced. despite not winning it all, he was noticed by scouts and invited to the tryout camp for the us national team development program. he made the program and finished his last two years of high school with the ntdp in ann arbor, michigan with the u17 and u18 teams, respectively.

--- after his graduation from the program, he was selected in the second round of the 2013 NHL draft, 49th overall to the san jose sharks ( IRONICALLY, that draft pick was originally from the rangers ). he was scouted by the university of north dakota, quinnapiac, and university of minnesota; ultimately, he committed to north dakota, the first school to offer him a scholarship. his freshman year he was selected to team usa at the 18u world juniors where they won gold (2014 u18 wjc), and again his junior year to the 20u world juniors where they won bronze (2016 wjc).

--- the end of his junior year he chose to sign his entry level contract with the sharks instead of finishing his final year at north dakota : they made the frozen four all three years of his tenure, finally winning it all in 2016. it seemed like a fitting time to move on. waiting out the full four years of college and going to free agency had never been on clarke’s mind, the sharks were the ones who’d seen something in him, drafted him, and believed in him — he was always going to sign with them. he finished the 15-16 season on a professional try out with the sharks’ ahl team, the san jose barracuda.

—- the next season (16-17) he played for the barracuda and was called up at the end of the season when injuries plagued the team. he played well during the playoffs but was held to no points and the next season despite his best efforts, he was sent down to the barracuda halfway through training camp. that season (17-18) he was called up in january, once again the sharks made playoffs and he played in them, building upon his progress from the season prior. he entered the off-season feeling like he was in a good place and ready to work through the season, determined to make the big club in october.

—- however, that off-season brought chaos. he’d already flown into san jose for training camp when his agent called with news of a trade. clarke was sent to ottawa as one of the many pieces in the erik karlsson trade. but it didn’t end there, he was still packing when news of a second trade hit : he’d been flipped to the new york rangers in exchange for a third round pick.

—- he arrived at rangers training camp with something to prove, determined to show not one but two teams they’d made a mistake in trading him. he still didn’t make the team straight out of camp, but he played a mere three games with the hartford wolfpack before an injury hit the rangers and he got the call to join the big club. determined to not let this opportunity slip through his hands, he played his heart out on the ice, having an impressive breakout season and establishing his place as a talented two-way defenseman. he did not get sent back down that year (18-19).

—- this past off-season, the team took a gamble and signed him to a lengthy contract instead of a bridge deal, 6 years 4.5 AAV. he starts the first year of this contract this upcoming season.

MISC

—- clarke spends his summers in minnesota at his family’s lake house. he 100% has that dumb minnesota energy and posts videos of him wakeboarding all the time. when he’s not training and preparing for the season or playing in da beauty league ( a summer minnesota hockey league ), he’s probably on a boat. he’s most likely just returned to new york very recently.

—- very calm off the ice ; very easy-going and likes to keep things light. it’s his way with dealing with stress and pressure : just pretend it isn’t there and it won’t affect you.— he’s a hella private person but kinda not in an obvious way?? like he doesn’t share much about himself, esp what he’s feeling or even when massive things happen in his life; even his mom doesn’t know a lot of things that happen/happened to him. however, at the same time he’s extremely personable and friendly, which makes it not super obvious to his friends that they don’t really know a ton about him until they really think about it.

— “tough as a junkyard dog” ; “an absolute beast” ; will play injured ( i don’t condone this and no one should but i can’t stop him… ). there’s this large blotchy thing on his neck that kinda looks like a hickey or rash but it’s actually a three a half inch scar he got when he was 16 when a skate slashed his neck. he’s very lucky it didn’t hit his main artery. it runs from about his adam’s apple and extends toward the side of his neck.

—- he lives in an apartment with two of his teammates during the season, it makes the rent a little more reasonable.

—- ain’t no lie, baby. bi bi bi. ( but on the DL obv ).

—- hockey may have been in clarke’s blood; however, his mother knew the merit of clarke being a well-rounded athlete : he ran cross-country and track, played baseball, and lacrosse. he especially excelled at baseball, but he absolutely hated the practices, so his stint with it did not last particular long. but he had a tough competitive streak, doing well in xc and track, and even lacrosse to a degree ( it certainly helped spades with his hand-eye coordination ). he started focuses more on hockey once hitting high school.

—- SEHNSUCHT : it’s a german word that roughly translates to a yearning for the future, and can maybe be considered a rough antonym for nostalgia. it’s rooted in a belief of constant improvement and that perfection is impossible to achieve ( but that it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for it anyway ). it fits will very well ; he’s not one to dwell on the past and is constantly working to improve himself and his game.

—- he really likes being high up, not because of any sense of ego but actually being high up and looking down at things helps him keep things in perspective ( everything is just a small part of each other ).

—- he hates when people worry about him which is real ironic since he worries about everyone else too much ; be it his team, his friends, or family. it comes with being extremely loyal. on the ice he hates to see teammates pushed around and pretty much will always do something about it.

—- he was raised by a single mother and he appreciates her very much #doubleshifting. it’s given him a humble outlook on life and for a while, he worked as a line cook in a diner to help pay for his hockey equipment. he never wanted to make the nhl for the money or fame, he just wanted to make a living playing the sport he loved. the most he’s made the tabloids was when he briefly dated a model/singer ( possible wc??? ) — they broke up after three months: she couldn’t cope with his schedule and said he was distracted from her.

—- he studied aeronautics in college because besides going into the nhl, the one thing he wanted to be was a pilot.

—- there’s this video of brock boeser where he says “y’know��� 45 times in a three minute interview and that’s clarke trying to do media. ( like i said, dumb minnesota energy ).

—- PLAYING STYLE : clarke is an excellent two-way defenseman. his most prominent skill is his ability to skate. he’s very quick and evasive and very good on his edges. he’s good at defensive zone exits and capable of jumping up in the rush, and his speed allows him to get back quickly if he needs to. his slapshot finds its way through traffic and he’s looking to get more minutes on the second powerplay on the point. he can throw big hits when necessary and doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his body to block shots. he’s good muscle on the ice when scrums break out.

—- 6’3” 201 lbs.

—- PLAY COMPARABLES: brendan guhle ( skating ability and speed ), seth jones ( two-way game ), jake mccabe ( physicality ).

—- PERSONALITY COMPARABLES : brock boeser, will borgen, casey mittelstadt ( just... dumb minnesota energy )

if you actually read all that... i’m very impressed and we definitely need to plot. i’m not one for listing wc’s mostly because i’m bad at them. i’ll be back later after my family thing to read intros, plot, and get interacting with you all!! 

oh also fun fact, i also wrote most of this without brady skjei in mind until i went on campfriendly to find contract comparables and i lowkey kinda accidentally made brady skjei huh.

[theemichelleb]

Slim Thick & D.O.P.E.

I barely know where to start with this one… Weight loss has always been a sticky subject for me, especially when it came to my self-image and the perspective I’ve had of myself (but that’s a topic for another week). Looking back on my journey I realize it was a sticky subject because I was self-conscience and unaware of how DOPE I was.

I won’t say weight gain is something that runs in my family, but I have definitely had my struggles with fluctuating weight and not really having any control over losing or gaining throughout my life, it’s always been something that just happens to me and I go with the flow… it is what it is. In 2018 I had consciously decide that wasn’t good enough anymore because I really did not want to accept that getting older indefinitely comes with gaining weight when you don’t take care of your body and respect your temple.

It was easy when I was young. Growing up, “active” was my middle name: I played basketball, touch football in the neighborhood with the guys, dancing, stepping, double dutch, running track, and really anything that kept me outside; if it could be done I wanted to do it. I don’t know how much I weighed before, but after my father passed I went up to 160, I was a little thickums with chubby cheeks.

Once I got into High School and started walking more and dancing I dropped the weight, got a little taller and managed to remain at 145 until I went into college. Like most freshman going into college I gained the freshman 15 (which was really more like the freshman 25), but it looked good on me (looking back now). Even though I had gone over 160, I never realized I had built more muscle and I wasn’t truly fat… even though I thought I was… just a little thick.

After graduating college when all the physical activity stopped is how and when adulting really hit me. Within 2 years after graduating I had made my way up between 185 and 190, which honestly still wasn’t too bad, but I started to feel the weight gain. I was in a stressful work environment and honestly hated my job. I felt like I had wasted 5 years of my life working for a degree to not even use it, I didn’t see a way out of it, and on top of all of that I was back in Richmond where I did not want to be dreaming of living back in the DMV area where I’d be closed to my boyfriend at the time and my friends. There were so many things not going the way I wanted them to, and my body showed that.

I went through a bit of an emotional roller coaster through the summer of 2015 and had dropped down to 175 in an unhealthy way to say the least, but I was happy that I had finally thinned back down a little. Before I knew it, I was on the path to move back to the DMV, still working a janky job but it was bringing in good money and handling everything I needed it to handle so I took the opportunity and went back to where I thought I was happier.

It’s amazing the things you think will fix all your problems… and then you get it and it doesn’t. God will get your life in perspective real quick with those moments.

After moving to Maryland in 2016, I took a rather quick nose-dive and lost control with my cravings and bad eating habits. It was horrible on my pockets and even worse on my body. 2016 was not a friend to me in many ways, and it showed in how I moved day to day. From struggling financially, to losing friends, and fighting to stay on my feet; I didn’t know what was going on. To top it all off I had blown up to 230lbs+.

In 2018 God really showed me that he had more planned for me than what I had been doing for the 2 years prior. Moving in with my sister was the BEST decision I had made after having two less than desirable roommate situations. We’re sisters, so of course, we get on each other’s nerves but I just want to take a second to thank her for all the amazing things she does and how she’s help mold me into the woman I am today.

I have watched her struggle with her weight as well, but I’ve always admired her for how confident and self encouraging she is every step of the way. I’m sure she was going through things that we didn’t always see on the surface level, but most specifically from May of 2018 until today I have watched her change her life around and really push to lose the weight she’s always wanted to lose.

Talk about a D.O.P.E. queen, she not only started on her journey alone she pulled me and one of our roommates into her journey with her. Now, I won’t lie, we haven’t dedicated ourselves to the degree she has but she is definitely my inspiration to keep pushing even when I don’t want to. The greatest tidbit she’s given me since our journey’s started May of 2018 is the dedication to making a lifestyle change and not just “dieting”. We don’t need to diet, we need to be healthy, and my commitment to living that healthier lifestyle was influenced by her.

There aren’t enough words to express how proud I am of my big sister and her milestone of losing 57 lbs and 34.25 inches!!! She is still pushing forward and I know she isn’t stopping anytime soon I just pray I live up to her amazing example of what it is to be a D.O.P.E. black woman and providing support and encouragement to all the other black women in her circle and whom she comes in contact with on a day to day basis. You are truly amazing and all of the hard work you put in does not go to waste. You are a bright light in my life and I’m grateful to have a sister like you to beat up on me and push me to be a better version of myself everyday.

Since May of 2018 I have successfully dropped down to 205 lbs, I’m maintaining my weight loss, and am so excited about my growth and my dedication to living a healthier lifestyle. Next stop, 190! The most important lesson I have taken from this part of my life is loving myself in all forms no matter how “ugly” I may believe I am at any low point I hit. Being D.O.P.E. is becoming a part of my life and I owe that all to the women in my life, like LaToya, that have seen it in me for so long and have been behind me every step of the way since I’ve decided to walk in my truth.

If you’re on a weight loss journey, I’m here to say keep going! Don’t give up when it gets hard, don’t doubt yourself when you don’t notice results, and remember you didn’t gain the weight over night (somebody wise said that to me once). Lean on your support system, but don’t forget to be your own support system and motivation. Figure out what will convince you to keep moving towards your goal and remember you don’t have to do it all alone!

I know my biggest set back when trying to do most anything is doing it alone. The thing about being alone is there’s nobody to put a mask on for. When you fail it’s on you, but failure isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the thing that tells you it doesn’t work that way. Try a new way and next time you may get a different outcome. It’s okay to be afraid of working out alone, but do it anyway. The only person that has to live with your decisions at the end of the day is you… don’t be miserable if you don’t have to be, and don’t give anybody else the power over making yourself happy.

I know I’m not the best role model when it comes to exercise, but be better than me… be more like LaToya. Make yourself go to the gym 100 times… and when you reach that goal, start for the next hundred. Find a nutritionist and a personal trainer, find a gym buddy, plan out your meals, choose to stick to an eating schedule… whatever you need to do, do it NOW.

One of my best friends recently said to me “progress not perfection.”

Any step forward, is a step in the right direction. Don’t let ANYBODY take that from you.

Be D.O.P.E. Black People!