#that i'm not competing with anyone
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it's been over a week but i legit haven't stopped thinking about this
#because i think it doesn't just apply to book publishing but really any kind of writing#including fanfiction#especially in current fandom times when everything feels just so fast paced#and it's SO easy to fall into this whole mindset of believing you gotta keep up with this pace#a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things about the current state of fandom and i won't fall into a rant here#but i too often have to remind myself that me writing is supposed to be fun and not a fucking race#that i'm not competing with anyone#that i'm not creating 'content' to be consumed like some fast food#that there's no such thing as a flop fic if it was written with love and drive behind it#and yeah the jealousy man#it's an ugly feeling no matter which end you're on#comparison is a knife which we inevitably walk into#i love my writer friends to death and i will always always always cheer for them bc no one else will get this#but we're all just humans with very real and sometimes ugly emotions and i wish we could talk about this more openly#at the end of the day we want to be seen and acknowledged and we're our very own worst critics#ugh i have too many thoughts about this all#i need to lie down and feel normal again#lale.txt
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Victories give you confidence. My confidence are super high, but still, in some situations, I'm still struggling a bit. But, in that situation, with more confidence, I think I would have struggled less. So, let's see if we can continue working in that way.
#marc marquez#motogp#motogpedit#bynadya#n.gif#finally gotten around to watch it.....#it's interesting to see the mentality shift on that achieving a lot of victories is actually not THAT normal being acknowledged out loud#hearing him being 'i'm super confident abt everything and all' and like yeah we know u don't do those silly crashes if you weren't#but yeah nothing's really new that anyone in marcnation hasn't psychoanalyzed but still.... love hearing the hunger in him tho!#he'll never get that pre-2020 level and that's fine! the hunger is still there! he still wants it bad enough!#and although he might not be to his 2019 levels he considers his levels are still high enough to compete with the front row guys SO.....#as long as he stays consistent and keeps his crashes on practice sessions.... why not !
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So many people write Magnus as this sort of suave, devious guy who charms his way into getting what he wants and I am here to argue that this misses his character by a mile. This guy is a failure of a person who is surprisingly nonviolent at the end of the day (but cannot tell the difference between psychological torment and physical abuse). Guy spent like a decade stewing in thoughts of revenge but crucially was only able to get a tiny fraction of it because someone else, MMA, pulled him into their schemes. He does make for a fun villain but it does seem that most people take him at surface value and forget that this mofo is so self sabotaging that he ruined his own life way worse than anyone else's.
#I cherish the writers who realize the only person magnus can top is seth XD#let magnus hammersmith be the bratty sub we all know he is XD#there's so much fic where he's this weirdly capable abuser and killer#and I'm just like man did we watch the same show?#as I play the loop of nathan beating his face in on repeat XD#respect to the people who want him to be a sexy villain who want him to be a vil#and give him mma traits as a result#but for real he'd get his ass handed to him any day of the week and secretly love it :D#mtl#metalocalypse#magnus hammersmith#at the end of the day I just can't buy that he's a capable or competent molester of anyone XD
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mortifying to be perceived in this way but here have some fic
#fangs of fortune#li lun/zyc#there's also a dash of yuanyi in there but lunchen is the agenda here#first fic is set up#second fic is light pwp#it's been so long since i posted fic in a new fandom. i agonized over these incredibly short pieces for an embarrassing amount of time#also the first time i'm posting remotely rated stuff on my ao3 i am covering my face hhhhhh#my fic#fanfic#zhuo yichen#li lun#zhao yuanzhou#watching the stats on these two fics is like watching two of my children compete#or something#not that i know what it's like to have kids but anyway dark blue is working so hard to keep up#sorry lunchen perhaps i did not go hard enough on that pwp#i'll do better next time#routine insight my child prodigy passing everything with flying colors#dark blue my uglier less funny son#i'm kidding also i'm sleep deprived and i don't think anyone reads these tags but if you do#sorry
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Tyler Kennedy Strand 🌈🩺🔥⭐💖
Close ups on individual sections under the cut!





#i did my best to capture the essence of tk#his competence and strength and capacity for love#as well as how very loved he is#tkstrandturns30#911 lone star#lone star cross stitch#i eventually want to do one of these for carlos and i'm struggling to come up with enough ideas so if anyone has any LET ME KNOW
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like Seminars on how to pick up women and become an alpha male have way more impact on the person reading them than the people that person tries to influince, I suspect Tweedle very well might be more well liked
Also hey, didn't you not like mind control?? or was it just the Other's mind control you objected to? because that had been on the (very short) list of your virtues, it'd be a shame to lose it.
#girl genius#page react#late on this one it's fine#Tweedle would read a how to pick up women book not realizing it's 'women' plural and not 'woman' singular#especially not as singular as Agatha#might make Seffie willing to socialize near him at parties though#(would he really be any worse?? He might be different but I'm not convinced he's be meaningfully less interpersonally competent than he is)#(he can - within a certain range of meaning - command a vaguely military heirarchy#but he can't charm anyone on a personal level#every case I recall him trying he's failed. badly#Agatha both in town and after#the party in england and Orotine during that#He managed with the jagers and Andy and maybe even with Zola mostly on merit of being distracted with combat rather than image#so could being a incel bar jerk make it worse??)#(I'm probably underestimating him. He could probably make it worse)
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Work has me scheduled as floor AND 1st backup cashier/front lead tonight and we have a new cashier who's working her first full cashier shift that's also her first full closing shift....... I get the feeling that I'm going to be training her tonight......on one of the busiest days of the week..... While we're doing an insane coupon promotion that everyone likes to misread and then get mad about when they find out they misread the terms.......
#the consequences of being really autistic about the register and being one of the most senior employees bc everyone else who started#at the same time as me (except for like 2 others) either quit or got fired.....#the consequences of being the responsible eldest child turned into hyper competence perfectionism#i'm literally not even a shift lead nor do i get paid like one. but i've been responsible for training every new cashier we've gotten#since the store opened 6 months ago#i am a regular associate with associate privileges being paid minimum wage#i dont mind training and helping new employees#(i enjoy making the process as positive and comfortable as i can bc i know starting a new job where you dont know anyone can be scary)#but its a little frustrating that i'm always given responsibilites far beyond my job description#and theyre still not promoting me or even paying me above the bare minimum#like i dont want to sound entitled or ungrateful. im very happy i have this job. but they expect so much and do not pay me like it#and they (the owners) keep hinting that i'm 'shift lead/assistant manager material' and might be promoted eventually#but they never specify if theyre seriously considering it or when it may be#the shift lead i worked with last night said it may be because i'm too young and they may be waiting until i at least turn 20#i turn 20 in june and august will be 1 year since i got hired soooo lets hope
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BRB giving all the Lannisters a way more satisfying story arc than the one the show foisted on them
x
The wedding celebrations for Trystane's brother Quentyn and his new bride Desmera Redwyne lasted for nearly a fortnight, with dancing and feasting and even fireworks set off over the bay at the Water Gardens. Every noble in Dorne (and half the nobles of the Reach) had come; even Prince Doran had attended, and it seemed to do him good. His pain-lined face had been wreathed in smiles and he had sat at the head of the table at nearly every meal, coming out from his seclusion for the first time in ages.
Trystane noticed, too. "I don't think I have ever seen Papa so happy," he whispered, leaning toward her during the feast on the last night.
"It's because he has got rid of one troublesome son," she teased him, tapping her finger on his nose. It was true enough: tomorrow, Quentyn and Desmera would travel back to the Arbor where they would take up their duties as heirs to Paxter Redwyne.
Trystane scrunched his nose and moved closer to her on the bench, sliding his arm around her waist. "Soon he will be got rid of another," he murmured in her ear, kissing her gently on the cheek, then the neck.
"Ah, ah, this is not your wedding yet, little brother," warned Arianne as she briskly tapped them on their shoulders, pushing them firmly aside so that she could sit between them. "Room enough for the Mother, if you please."
"You're my sister, not my mother," Trystane grumbled. "And there isn't enough room for your backside!"
"Trystane!" Myrcella protested, but Arianne had it well in hand.
"If I were Mama, I would spank you on yours," she told him, and swatted at him anyway. Trystane yelped and hit her back, and their end of the table erupted into chaos as brothers and sisters, cousins and friends all shrieked and jabbed at each other, tickling and pinching as one can only do to those one truly loves.
Arianne and Myrcella had been thick as thieves when she had first arrived at Sunspear, still dreadfully homesick and afraid. Uncle Tyrion had promised her that the people of Dorne would treat her well; but though everyone had been kind, it was only Arianne who had truly been a friend at first. She had sneaked into Myrcella's room and hid behind drapes or under the bed to jump out at her, shown her the sights of the Water Gardens and Planky Town alike, even encouraged her to speak with Trystane, who at 15 had been terribly spotty and sulky.
Then Arianne had gone to visit her mother and her family, in far-off Norvos. It had been planned for only a few months, but the time had stretched on and on, and only Quentyn's marriage had brought her back at last. Myrcella had missed her even as she had grown closer with Trystane, and part of her dreaded their marriage that would take her away from the drowsy warmth and comfort of Arianne's company, even as it would deliver her back to her family at King's Landing.
Later that night, Myrcella crept into Arianne's chambers and hid inside the great wardrobe, keeping the door half-open as it had been already. (Arianne was shockingly untidy for a princess, and refused to allow any servant in her quarters to deal with the resulting mess. She used to drag Myrcella to her rooms once a month or so and make her sit on the bed, while Arianne picked up the clothes strewn about the floor or flung over the backs of chairs and complained about her own bad habits. Already, Myrcella thought, Arianne could do with a good cleaning.) A short while later the door to the chamber opened and Myrcella readied herself to jump out, just as Arianne had done to her so often.
But Arianne was not alone.
"—Yronwoods aren't pleased by the match," someone was saying. "Lord Anders thought Quentyn would marry Gwyneth, after being fostered with them for so long."
It was Ellaria Sand. She hadn't been seen overmuch at Sunspear since returning from King's Landing two months ago, Lord Oberyn's body in tow. Since then she'd avoided the court, instead spending time with Oberyn's daughters. The few times Myrcella had seen her, Ellaria had been as warm and friendly as before, but with a knife-edge to her smile that Myrcella recognized all too well from the courtiers in the Red Keep. She'd had taken care not to be alone with Ellaria, nor with the Sand Snakes, since then.
"Then Lord Anders is a fool," said Arianne in her sing-song voice, "and should be regarded as such. Gwyneth is a lovely girl, but she is far too little for a Prince of Dorne. The Arbor is a more valuable holding and the Redwynes far more valuable allies."
"And once Trystane is married to his blonde bastard girl, you will have both your brothers safely out of Dorne," said Ellaria. There was the sound of clothing being moved about, and Ellaria sitting down. "Really, dear, you ought to have someone clean in here. There could be mice, for all you know."
Arianne laughed, as though Ellaria had only insulted her housekeeping. Myrcella's hands clenched into fists. Was this what Arianne truly thought of her? And in Dorne, of all places! Where Ellaria herself, and all her lover's daughters, carried the last name of Sand! Ellaria had made much of the Dornish saying that bastard children were born of love and passion, and thus as trueborn as any child conceived by wedded parents. But clearly she held Myrcella in as much contempt as any of the rest of them would back home, if they knew the truth.
They never knew King Robert, the man who'd never once looked at her or her brothers but with resentment and bitterness. None of her mother's children had been loved, not by that oafish lumbering stag who saw them all as shackles that tied him to the Lannisters he hated so much. What shame was there in knowing her true parents, at least, loved each other? And loved their children, even if only one could dare show it? Myrcella wanted to burst out of the wardrobe and declare that she would gladly call herself Myrcella Waters — Myrcella Lannister — and dare anyone to judge her for it.
But she huddled further into herself and listened, to hear what else Arianne might say.
"I've stayed away too long," is what she said, "if you're this comfortable calling poor Myrcella such names. She's done nothing to you—"
The scrape of a chair signaled that Ellaria had risen once again. "Her family murdered your uncle, who you seemed once to love—"
"—and yet I have been informed of a certain present you sent to Queen Cersei just a few days ago," Arianne overrode her. "A snake, with Myrcella's pendant in its mouth. Hardly subtle, my dear."
Ellaria did not answer, and Myrcella put her hand to her mouth to keep her own silence. Her pendant had gone missing during the wedding celebrations, she had thought a victim of one of the more energetic dances on that first night. But Ellaria had got hold of it somehow? And sent it to Mother as a...threat, it seemed. Or a warning.
"What do you want, Ellaria?" asked Arianne with more gentleness than Myrcella felt capable of. "The Lannisters have already suffered, even if not by our hand: their patriarch dead, their firstborn dead, their brother Tyrion probably dead and certainly dead to them. Even Casterly Rock itself is in dire straits, from what I've heard. You've spoken to my father a great deal of vengeance — but where will it end? Will it be satisfied with Myrcella's death? Or do you need every child of theirs to die, before killing Cersei and Jaime?"
"I—" Ellaria's voice was thick, and there was a long moment of quiet before she spoke again. "I do not know," she said at last, as if confessing.
"Well, I do know," said Arianne briskly, "and I will tell you, if you will listen."
"...I will," said Ellaria slowly. Myrcella hardly dared breathe.
"Good. I did not linger in Norvos for nothing, much as I love Mama. Do you remember Illyrio Mopatis, the magister from Pentos? We met him years ago, when I was a girl and you and Oberyn took me with you to Essos. You were pregnant with Dorea, I think, and Obella and Tyene followed you everywhere with pillows for your chairs. Illyrio then got you a litter and had you carried everywhere."
"Gods, yes," Ellaria said, chuckling. "And he had one to match!"
"Uncle Oberyn kept crowding out the litterbearer in the front so that he could carry you," Arianne said. "At any rate, I saw him — Illyrio. He came for a visit to Mama's estate, and we spoke at great length about certain plans he has been making."
Ellaria's laugh now was sour. "Ah yes, he and the Spider have been making those plans for nearly twenty years, haven't they? Put the Targaryen boy back on the throne with the assurance that this one is sane." She snorted. "They thought Rhaegar was sane, too."
"If by 'this one,' you refer to Viserys Targaryen, his sanity is a moot point," said Arianne. "He's dead. Has been for several years, apparently. But his sister Daenerys has survived. She's been making quite a nuisance of herself in Slaver's Bay. Along with her three dragons, Illyrio tells me."
"Dragons?" Ellaria scoffed. "Illyrio's always said a great number of things. That never made any of them true."
"Which is why I want you to go and find out what is true. Meet with this Daenerys Stormborn yourself. Take her measure. I could only discover so much in Norvos, with Mama's eye always on me. She doesn't approve of Papa's conciliation to the Red Keep, but stories of Targaryen princesses and their dragons aren't to her liking, either."
"Are they to your liking?" Whatever response Arianne made, it seemed to satisfy Ellaria. "Very well. I have two conditions."
"Only two?"
"First, I shall first go to Pentos first and speak directly with Illyrio. He never could lie to me, and if he is so sure Daenerys Targaryen is the true ruler of Westeros then he'll be willing to back that up with coin and supplies. Which we'll need, in abundance."
Arianne sighed. "Very well. Though if you venture so close to Norvos, Mama will insist you visit her."
Ellaria made a prevaricating sound. "Your mother always liked me best."
"She did. And does. What is your second condition?"
"Our daughters come with me. All of them."
"No," Arianne said flatly. "Aside from the fact that it will look strange to have all the Sand Snakes gone, Lorenza is barely seven years old. You would take her across the Narrow Sea to a slave city?"
"Better than leave her here, where Doran can fill her head with his witterings about peace and forgiveness," Ellaria snapped. "If she dies — if any of us die — at least we will not live like your father."
"Take Nymeria and Tyene," Arianne countered. "Obara, if you must. The rest of the Snakes are better off here. What would Sarella do in Meereen, or Astapor, or Yunkai? Those cities do not have a reputation for academic pursuits."
"She can bring her books with her. All of us go, or none. I want nothing of Oberyn left behind for someone else to take from me."
Arianne sighed. "I'll consider it. But I want you to consider, too. If this Daenerys Stormborn is what she is said to be, she will retake the Iron Throne 'with fire and blood.' Take care that it is not your blood, my dear."
They spoke for a bit longer, until the bells chimed the hour and Ellaria departed. How long until Arianne went to bed? Myrcella might stay here the whole night and then what would she do? Who could she tell? Who did she want to tell?
"You are thinking loudly enough to wake the entire palace, little lioness," said Arianne, and opened the wardrobe door all the way. Myrcella shrank back but it was no use; Arianne was looking down at her, shaking her head. "Let's talk, so that you might be a little quieter."
"Are you going to kill my brother?" she asked, not moving.
"No," Arianne said, with a certainty that Myrcella could not help but believe. "Nor will I let anyone else. We do not hurt children in Dorne." She held out her hand, and Myrcella took it.
They sat down on the bench near the window, the one that overlooked the whole of the palace and beyond that, the city of Sunspear itself. The stars here were clear and bright, even with the torches and lights from below burning merrily at this late hour.
"Tommen's in King's Landing, not Dorne," was the first thing Myrcella could think of to say. "And he's not a child anymore." Nor am I, she thought.
Arianne rolled her eyes. "So literal. I forgot this about you. You're right — he's a man grown now, and a husband soon, and already a king. But he is not to blame for the way things are now, anymore than Viserys and Daenerys were to blame for what their father and brother did during the Rebellion."
"My father always said Uncle Stannis should have killed them when he had the chance." She could remember that argument well, as it was one Robert made whenever Uncle Stannis irritated him — which was often. You had only to take them and drown them, and you couldn't even manage that! My brother the great tactician, bested by infants!
"I very much doubt your father said any such thing," said Arianne tartly, "Though I am sure King Robert said it often enough." She tilted her head as she regarded Myrcella. "When did you first realize? About your parents?"
Myrcella hesitated, but it seemed silly to pretend ignorance now, of all times. "I've always known, I think. When the ravens came from Dragonstone, from Uncle Stannis, saying that we were bastard-born...it wasn't a surprise." Nor had she been surprised at her not-uncle's blunt declaration, cutting himself off from all claims of blood and family. Stannis had always been a hard man to love; she suspected he found it hard to love others in turn. Perhaps it had been as great a relief to him as it had been to her, to know there was nothing that bound them to each other after all.
"I am glad you know," said Arianne, "but that is one reason I wanted you to hear Ellaria's plans, as well as my own. She wants to hurt your mother and father very badly. Her rage has made her blind. My hope is that distance, as well as time, will allow her to see clearly again. But in the meanwhile it is best for everyone if you and she are far away from each other."
"But...those things you said, about Daenerys Targaryen. You want her to come here?"
Arianne sighed and took Myrcella's hands in hers. They were small and soft, dwarfed by Myrcella's long fingers. "Daenerys Stormborn is coming here. Nothing can stop that; sooner or later, she will arrive with her dragons, and she will take the Iron Throne. If your brother and your parents are to survive it, they must have somewhere to go. Someone who will take them in."
Myrcella stared at her. She couldn't mean Dorne; for one thing, Mother would never agree to live out her days here, strolling about the Water Gardens and bathing in the Summer Sea. For another, the Martells and the Targaryens had a complicated enough relationship; even Doran, even Arianne, wouldn't risk the wrath of a new queen by hosting the old king.
"Perhaps Highgarden—" but even as Myrcella said it she could see it for the farcical suggestion it was. She'd never met the Queen of Thorns, but she knew the Tyrells had sided with the Targaryens during the Rebellion; Olenna Tyrell would be only too happy to turn the Lannisters right back over to Daenerys should they put a foot wrong, even if Tommen's marriage to Margaery went through. Which left—
"Casterly Rock," she said, and felt ashamed that it had taken her so long to understand. "You want me to hold the Westerlands." It made sense: Jaime was still in the Kingsguard and likely to remain so, and Uncle Tyrion was long gone (and would be barred from inheriting anyhow, given the accusations that he had murdered Grandfather). Uncle Kevan and Lancel might have claims to it, but Tommen's last letter had mentioned Lancel's latest obsession with some odd religious sect that had gained popularity in the Crownlands. Which left...herself, of all the remaining Lannisters.
Arianne nodded. "Casterly Rock. You were raised to be the wife of a great lord. But I think you are better suited to be a great lord yourself." She lifted her eyebrows. "More importantly, little lioness, what do you think?"
All at once she wanted it more than breath: a home of her own, a castle, a people, a kingdom. A chance to be fair and kind and noble not just amongst the simpering painted faces of court, but in a place where fairness and kindness mattered. She could take Casterly Rock and make something more of it than the just golden bank of Westeros. Myrcella could feel a ravening hunger in her that she'd never imagined, that would take all of the Westerlands to sate.
Myrcella held on tightly. She could feel her fingers turning to claws, her hair a wild mane. "Yes," she said, her voice barely above a whisper but roaring louder in her head, in her throat, in her chest. "Yes."
#is Myrcella a little gay for Arianne? listen who isn't#I firmly believe if Arianne had been allowed to exist on the show things would've gone way better for the Martells#just like in general#and yes I know I'm not having Quentyn do his Essos thing but lbr that baby should just live in a nice protected arbor#he is not made for shenanigans!#anyway today me and mardia hashed out what the lannisters were up to#because honestly does anyone actually enjoy that whole plot through seasons 5 and 6?#this baby can fit so many actually competent characters#got: bitches get stuff done#game of thrones motherfuckers#ficcage of interest
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I cannot BELIEVE that grownass arthur von licht rescued someone from a hospital roof and then didn't think to himself, hm, maybe I should get their MEDICAL HISTORY so they can get the care they need and maybe we have access to something that could help them PLUS free jr health care
like isn't it literally a thing that he saw ani struggling with their health and they were like "nah it's fine it always be like this" and he just ACCEPTED THAT until it got so bad that he lost ani the day after he actually took them to a hospital
#jr appears to have the medical competence of the flashback hospital from morbius#I made the story I'm allowed to make fun of it#ds canon needs help#real talk ani spent like their whole life in a hospital#and associates it with lofty hospital bills and feeling unwanted#it's understandable that they wouldn't want to tell people#but I don't think anyone would just let that fly#dreamswap
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life still looks like shit for me, so have a casual rhinedottir from a magma canvas additional thoughts under cut
In my mind, Rhinedottir does dress pretty casually when she's not in risk of being seen by unauthorized people (literally anyone except Alice), because appearances are a big part of the persona she dons while in public, especially when interacting with the rest of the court (that and I think she has some minor narcissism going on but that's a different can of worms to open later.)
#plus there's this common idea that women who take pride in their appearance can't be smart or well organized.#i've heard quite a few times comments like :#“how can she find the time do to her job if she spends so much of it on doing her makeup/hair/etc. ?” to try and discredit women#now we have no idea what khaenri'ahn society was like but judging by the fact that the majority of important figures we know are/were male#i'm partly inclined to think it was patriarchal to a degree#so all in all. i think it was somewhat in rhinedottir's best interest to not dress like the competent talented scientist she was.#least the men in charge would suspect that perhaps she has some ulterior motive to pursue such a high yet thankless position.#so when someone (pierro) comes waving his conspiracy theories around the most average response is :#“man come on we all know she doesn't have time for schemes look at how straightened her hair is she doesn't work an hour overtime”#but then she goes ahead and does ALL THAT#without anyone suspecting anything until it's too late#what a queen#genshin#genshin impact#rhinedottir#rhine rambling tag#kinda#rhineart
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!

#another ticky in the new year box#gotten nowhere with the exercise part#but also doing cracker on the watching what I eat#thanks cold!#jet wolf sometimes reads too#in case anyone was wondering:#i enjoyed it#REALLY HIT SOME OF MY PERSONAL HORROR BUTTONS LOOKING AT YOU DOLLS#it felt in parts a little like a one or two step up christopher Pike#which I mean complimentary#in that it was very easy to read and I had a good time doing it#it was a little hand-holdy in places which grated on me a little#(yes I get what this is really all about I get it I promise)#and I think suffered in part from me having just come off of The Witch Elm#but it's absolutely competent and held my interest from start to finish#even legit creeped me out in places#and laughing to hacking in others#a good pulpy horror read#and I'll check out the author's other books when that's exactly what I'm in the mood for
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Today's vaguely Jason related problem: I had a really funny picture idea but I need to draw Arabel for it. *Sigh* I'll need like a million references and I need to figure out what kind of braids and clothes tooo.....
If I'm not mistaken she wears her hair similar to Emir, which would be in braids of some sort ending in colorful beads. I always imagine Emir with cornrows but idk about Arabel. Loose braids(as in not directly on the skin though how loose is also a question) Then there's the clothes. I think their home town style was mentioned as well fitted? Should I incorporate flowers because it's the city of flowers? Should I make it vaguely french because that'd be our world equity geographically speaking??
She's a healer who uses giant magic containers to suck up and redistribute stuff like poison, wtf does that entail for practical clothes???
All in all how the f do you make it clear it's Arabel? I think I have an idea for the hair? Maybe? At risk of it not being too book accurate?
Should I give her small heels? Like she's gonna be a tall stunning woman even if her hight was never mentioned, right? Can you have too much of a good thing?
I'll be back when my hand hurts from doodling.
#he who fights with monsters#Hwfwm#Confession time: i always imagined Arabel and Daniel in the same bun and dress even if it made no sense with the book description#I might just give Arabel a sort of bun as well#Idk something about them being both very competent women the mothers of Jason's friends who have at one point or another advised him and ca#Absolutely kick ass if need be#Like. That screams hair bun#Also wtf is healers emblem#Seriously all I'm sure about is her skin tone and that if I draw Rufus he should look similar. And that she's taller than Jason#Which isn't hard. I'm not sure anyone is smaller than Jason in the cast?#Uh. His sister probably? Like he grew with his rank so he might genuinely have some hight on her now
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I have always maintained and will continue to maintain that whatever mask Horatio wears has nothing on Barbara
#like idk if barbara's even wearing a mask. idk if she exists#i think that she's honestly just a little bit lame and boring behind her façade and i think she needs to be that way#(lame and boring not as in what i think she is but as in comparatively to what she projects)#(sort of like the converse of maria actually being much more competent and knowledgeable than anyone thinks she is)#she's such a fun character i'm a little obsessed with her#still trying to figure out how to articulate her but i started writing vienna fic and it's a blast tbh#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott
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so far my class on how learning and studying works is mainly teaching me that other people apparently perform intensely absurdly OBVIOUSLY SHITTY methods for learning and studying that, shocker, do not work.
#every time the professor says 'you might do [x] but that doesn't actually help!' i am. horrified.#that ANYONE EVER THINKS [x] will somehow work#i'm still learning other things too at least. like it's not a waste of time.#but it is a steady drain on the dregs that remained of my belief in human competence.
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writing is so stupid you'll find yourself looking up shit like "do polaroids take film" in full seriousness
#they do right???????? i think this one is up there on the list of the dumbest shit i've searched mid fic writing#sorry if i've ever tricked anyone into thinking i'm a competent writer who knows what they're doing. truly i do not#see this is why i should do warmup drabbles more often. i need to get my noodle noggin fucking Working#nebular.txt
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