#that heartstopper scene is my absolute favorite its just beautiful
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dreamingeyes Ā· 5 months ago
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"i got kissed at prom...!"
(referenced that scene in heartstopper where at the party nick sees tara and darcy kissing)
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sapphosclown Ā· 3 months ago
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heartstopper s3 thoughts (spoilers obvi)
oh my. they did such a lovely job with this story. i could tell the actors were so engrossed in their characters and comfortable with each other. i already made my piece about how i wish there was more time to flesh out the story (x) but the truth is i just love this show and selfishly wish i had a million episodes to watch forever.
the last episode. that was so nice. charlie and toris conversation in the ferris wheel, im absolutely so in love with charlieā€™s character development across the show yes but this season. itā€™s such a huge story for him and it was so heartwarming to see him choose his short sleeve shirt, and how much heā€™d grown and just thinking back to how scared he was to ask for help because ā€œwhat if it didnā€™t workā€ vs asking to have his sessions biweekly instead if weekly. i adore charlie growing out of the codependency on nick and really growing back into his friendsā€” and same with tao, i liked how they showed him putting so much into elle and then acknowledging that s1 tao wouldā€™ve hated that.
the final scene. charlie awake while nick is asleep and then it just cuts. oh my. thatā€™s beautiful. iā€™m pretty sure they havenā€™t been renewed for a 4th season yet and while i absolutely hope so much they are to finish out their story (and to watch the Nick and Charlie plot play out which iā€™m so excited for and want to see so badly i think it would be so good), that last shot would be a lovely way to end the show if netflix continues its evils and cancels the show (which i hope they donā€™t and truthfully donā€™t think they would because i think this one has met their standards for success to let her continue). it would work because charlie as our main character has resolved most of his issues and within the show has been tied neatly together, plus the comic fans know whatā€™s to come which i would dare say is the majority audience. but again, i would be very very surprised if they didnā€™t get a fourth season (and very disappointed)
i loved imogeneā€™s chat with nick in the hotel room. i love seeing nickā€™s realization that he too needs to be independent of charlie and i really want to see that in s4.
OH ALSO MICHAEL HOLDEN. I LOVE YOU SIR. THAT WAS SO WONDERFUL. THE GLEE I FELT WHENEVER HE WAS ON SCREEN. OH HE ATE HIS 5 TOTAL MINUTES IF SCREENTIME I LOVE UOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. he had me giggling nonstop, thinking about specifically ā€œmichael is looking for youā€ -> šŸ§. that was everything to me.
ugh. idk. i have a lot of thoughts. those are what came to mind. i fear i must sleep now. but i will prob yap ab this more and in like dedicated posts this was just me rambling bc i finished and i had a lot of feelings.
absolutely stunning. my favorite season.
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speckeh Ā· 6 years ago
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My 2019 Garbage Book Dump
Itā€™s 2019! Iā€™m tired, Iā€™m hella gay, and Iā€™m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews!Ā 
1. Thunderball: 5/5 stars. Mormon jokes. Making fun of dietary changes? A young Italian woman (girl) who controls the island with her beauty. It becomes a mission against nuclear threats against the Europe and the US? Not exactly the MOST thrilling James Bond book, but I had a lot of fun reading it. Iā€™m glad this was my first read of the year!
2. The Lydia Steptoe Stories - Faber Stories: 4/5 stars. I found these short, tiny books in a local bookstore. There were 6 of them on the table and I bought three. Sometimes I wish I bought all of them, but not all of them spoke to me. The Lydia collection was interesting as it held three stories with: a young man being ā€œseducedā€ by his aunt, a young girl wanting to be a dominatrix, and a woman who wishes she could be youthful again. While I didnā€™t find the stories awe-inspiring, I did find them extremely entertaining and nice to think about.
3. Emma Cozy Classics: 5/5 stars. I have the pride and prejudice one. While it might not be as fabulous as a full book, but the pain-staking skill of felt art is entirely impressive. It went on my Jane Austen book shelf.
4. Come Rain or Shine - Faber Stories: 3/5 stars. What would you do if your friends thought you were absolutely insane and their lives are falling apart worse than yours? What would you do if your friend asks you to play absolutely stupid to his wife to make him look better and for her to realize her life isnā€™t so bad that she got lucky enough to not marry you? I for one, would drop these fucking friends and never look back. The story was a fucking train wreck and absolutely insane to the point where it wasnā€™t even humorous to me. Several authors state itā€™s Ishiguroā€™s step into comical writing and I wish he wouldnā€™t.
5. Passionate Minds - Women Rewriting the World: 1/5 stars. I found this book at my Uniā€™s free bookshelf. I was super excited to read this book but itā€™s one of the dullest and full of biases book Iā€™ve had the displeasure of picking up. I got to read about my girl Gertrude Stein but I was expecting more female writers, not actors who the writer obvious gets off on. Thereā€™s nothing wrong with that, and this book has rave reviews, I just couldnā€™t stand the writing style and obvious fawning she had (and not in the academic/historically reserved way authors should be).
6. Wandering Island Vol. 2: 4/5 stars. Itā€™s been two years since the first volume came out. I found myself reading it in record time which has me both disappointed and a bit confused (not because I read it fast, but because of the strange editorial ending). The art is impeccable with a few questionable ā€œobviously a man drew thisā€ moment, the story has kind of been a bit muddled up and didnā€™t necessarily go anywhere this volume. It felt more of a build up for Volume 3 which I donā€™t know when will be released. The editor wrote this strange 6 page essay that started off they were going to postpone Wandering Island 3, then went on a long rant about how the manga editing world has changed with ^-^ faces all throughout, only to then write fan theories of where they think the story is going to finish with: ā€œWeā€™ll translate the pages as soon as they come out! ^-^ā€ what the fuck?? Haha
7. Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic. 5/5 stars. I bought this book today and I finished it this evening. Iā€™m still processing everything that happened but one thing I know for sure is that I found one of my top 5 books of 2019 as well as a new favorite already. Alison approaches a hard topic of coming out, learning about her fatherā€™s secret life of being bisexual, and coming to terms with the strange person with anger issues that was her father. While my father wasnā€™t gay, there were several elements of her father I saw in my own. The volatile anger, learning more about his life after his death, hearing shattering truths from your mom, the regret of not having conversations sooner and him not seeing who you truly are before their passing. It struck a chord with me and Iā€™m going to be thinking about this comic book I feel like for two months.
8. The Real McCoy: 4/5 stars. This is like a small wikipedia pamphlet book about the famous names, phrases, or lyrics you might know. I wasnā€™t necessarily impressed with the booklet, but I found some of it entertaining. I gave it a high rating because it served its purpose but Iā€™m totally gifting it to a friend who loves random facts.
9. The Heart Affirming: 5/5 Stars. Epic poems about the Greek Gods, the universal feeling of appreciating nature, the wondering of the cruelty of humanity. This is a rare find of a poetry book not popular and one I found at my local library book sale that was signed by the author. If you have the pleasure to pick up this 1939 poetry book, please do! Itā€™s a treat from the past that shows we still yearn for the same poetic romanticism we did then to now.
10. Bloom: 4.5/5 stars. Iā€™ve realized Iā€™m going to graduate college in the fall and this weird depression hit where I realized my life is really finally going to change forever. So Iā€™m having a mixture of senioritis where I donā€™t want to do any work when Iā€™m done with school by Wednesday, and Iā€™m having a mid-century life crisis where I donā€™t know what to do with my life (I mean I do, but itā€™s terrifying). So I went on a LGTBQ+ splurge on amazon, something i havenā€™t done in awhile, Bloom was one of those books. Bloom is a fast paced comic about a high school graduate who wants to move out and move on, but his friends are dicks and his parents want him to stay. Welcome the new hot boy whose grandma just died and conveniently loves to bake. Ari wants to leave the bakery and this new hot guy is just his ticket to leave, or is it? I really liked this comic for the art and the story line was refreshing. But there were several instances where the book moves really quickly and the development wasā€¦ meh. HeartStopper has great, slow pacing that lets you feel like the characters and story moves in a believable way. Bloom is rushed in some parts, but still.. So cute.
11. Spinning: 5/5 Stars. 2/4 of the LGTBQ+ books I ordered have been read! I read this book the day before valentineā€™s day and Iā€™ve already been in a weird mode/crisis of being a university senior. I, loved this book for all the reasons why people gave it 3 stars. Everyone stated the story didnā€™t wrap up, that i jumped, that it felt fragments, but if you read the very end the author state not all books should make sense or follow a timeline or be accurate and these followed her own recollection without revisiting anything. I really appreciated and I loved the style. Itā€™s a heavy book with sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, and a very unhappy protagonist who isnā€™t likeable. But at the same time, finishing this book I just felt such grief that I didnā€™t pursue an art career. That I didnā€™t just join an art program or give my art career a chance. I think when Iā€™m in the end of my career, retirement, I may go to art school again or maybe Iā€™ll splurge money on lessons or maybe Iā€™ll just accept my art as is. Either way, this book made me fiercely jealous of a 21 year old. It reminded me of a famous story of my dad reading a book about astronauts and crying in the bath because he should have been an astronaut, and how this book made me want to cry because in some form I should have been an artist. But like my dad, weā€™ve both chased careers that really inspired and gave us amazing opportunities. But I think itā€™s natural to miss over those childhood passions you didnā€™t follow through with because you felt like you werenā€™t enough.
12. My Solo Exchange Diary Vol 2. 2.5/5 stars. I read the first volume last year due to prompting from one of my precious friends (Ramona). My loneliness with Lesbianism was AMAZING. I bought it. My Solo Exchange Diary felt like the author was rambling in circles, completely mentally unwell, and had no ideas of how to properly take care of herself. In Volume 2 she was able to search for some help and she was able to deal with some introspective thoughts about how her viewpoint might have been wrong and how she was toxic to herself and her family. Volume 2 still left a taste in my mouth that feltā€¦ weird? Sheā€™s moving in the right directions but I think sheā€™s desperately trying to follow the hype of her lesbian hit manga and sheā€™s failing due to her wants to surpass herself. I laughed and felt bad as she mentioned how people slammed her for Volume 1, so it felt very meta to read how she reacted because my comment was also criticizing her: read here. But if youā€™re reading it in a bookstore or a library, do it. Itā€™s nice to see how sheā€™s slowly making progress with herself. Ā 
13. Sputnik Sweetheart. 1/5 stars. I picked this up in Brussels in the select few english section because the cover was intriguing and the back cover claimed it was a lesbian story. I was so excited, and imagine my absolutely hatred when I realized a straight cisgender man had written a ā€œlesbianā€ story through the eyes of a straight male who is lusting after his lesbian best friend. He proclaims he gets boners at looking at her breasts and how her eccentric style only makes her that more beautiful just to him. I hate everything about this book. I wish straight cisgendered men would leave lesbian narrative stories alone unless youā€™re going to write them right. Get the fuck out of my books.
14. Fortunate Beasts: Letters to Lucardo Vol 2: 5/5 stars. The long waited and anticipated sequel to Letters to Lucardo!!! Itā€™s been two years since I read the first volume, supported it on kickstarters, and Iā€™m going to keep funding each release until the quadiology is complete! This had a lot less background building, exciting sex scenes, but you now understand the two lovers and get to see them develop their budding relationship. While it wasnā€™t as smut riddled as I expected, I was very happy with the continuation!
15. The little Lame Prince: 2/5 stars. DNF. Did not finish in case for those who donā€™t know/canā€™t remember (I hardly remember what DNF stands for myself). Iā€™m torn as I want to eventually finish this book but Iā€™m just not in the mood for it. Itā€™s a sweet story but is very slow and from what I can tell, repeats itself a lot. Itā€™s a old book from the early 1800s which explains the somewhat hard language and problematic moments, but itā€™s still charming. Iā€™ll debate when Iā€™ll try this again. For now, itā€™s returning to my shelves with a bookmark in the pages.
16. Shounen Houkokusho. 5/5 stars. A shounen-ai soft, wholesome gay family about a little boy standing up for his dadā€™s long time partner and asking them to get married. Very sweet. So precious. I love.
17. Same Difference and Other Stories: 4/5 stars. This was a reread from my friend Mark who gifted this to me back in december of 2014. Itā€™s been 5 years since I picked up this book and I decided to see how its changed. As an adult, this comic speaks to me a lot louder than it did nearly half a decade ago. Struggling to find your way through life, seeing all your high school ā€œfriendsā€ getting married, having jobs, meanwhile youā€™re just.. Here. Definitely a story I needed to revisit again in the future and also I still appreciate Markā€™s notes he left in here for me!
18. Amazing Women: 101 Lives to Inspire you: 4/5 stars. This was my gift after finally being cut loose from the cancer clinic. I never had to go back there again and so I decided to pick up a momento. This was the book I chose that they offered. I really appreciate how they cover diverse women from all over the world rather than American-centric. They donā€™t go further than 1826, keping mostly within 200 years which is a bit of a bummer. There were also some choices I felt were questionable, like Zoe Sugg (who had her book ghost written and scams her viewers) and that they didnā€™t have Alison Bechendel was a huge disappointment. But this book is opinionated as they did have to narrow it down to 101 women, so Iā€™m never going to be happy unless I pick my own. I also appreciated that if a diplomat was assassinated they mentioned it in the book.
19. The Epic of Gilgamesh: 5/5 stars. I learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh back when I was a itty-bitty sophomore in high school. I remember being so intrigued and would draw my gay ass characters as the Harlot and Endurk. I think I still have the drawings somewhere and theyā€™re cringey. I bought the book and itā€™s been sitting on my shelf for YEARS. I did a deep clean of my bookshelves last night from 11:30 pm - 4:30 am, and this morning I just wanted to read since I havenā€™t been able to for months. I loved it! I love creation myths, old myths from ā€œlostā€ cultures, plus the language was hella gay in this story. Itā€™s a short 61 pages, so if you have like an hour or two and are in the mood for some myths baby, pick it up!
20. The Making of Pride and Prejudice: 4/5 stars. This book is chalked full of interviews from staff, actors, photos of the sets, and a bit too long section on the director and writers moaning about a script. I loved the photos of the behind the scenes and reading Colin Firthā€™s reluctancy to take, arguably, his most iconic role because he didnā€™t care for classical movies. Thought they were boring. Really a cool book to have if youā€™re a big Pride and Prejudice 1995 fan.
21. Greek Myths: 2/5 stars. I love the artwork in this book, but the author shows a lack of research when he writes the Roman names for the greek gods. Iā€™m all fine with showing a Roman cultural story, but if youā€™re writing a Greek Myths story, BITCH use the Greek names!!! If it wasnā€™t for the artwork, this book would be traaash.
22. Wicked: 5/5 stars. Iā€™ve been in a reading rut for almost a month where Iā€™ve felt unmotivated to do anything. Since going back to brief counseling and getting my head on straight again, Iā€™ve felt the motivation to read. Iā€™m also doing the 2019 OWLS for a Wandmaker and this was one of my assignments. I absolutely loved Wicked. The musical came in last month and it reinvigorated my love for the show. Iā€™ve been wanting to read the book, itā€™s been haunting me for awhile and I found a back of the Wicked series for 5 dollars at my library sale. Snatched that bitch up. I read this 408 pages in two weeks, probably would have in a week but school. God, I related so much to Elphaba. Not so much the whole, feeling like she has no soul, but taking school seriously and not making friends, coming from a religious family and rebelling, feeling like sheā€™s responsible for her whole family, (not feeling like sheā€™s attractive) and seeing her growth and becoming more comfortable with herself really made me feel better about myself? Itā€™s a super dark book, but itā€™s great. Itā€™s really great.
23. A Childrenā€™s Guide to the Night Sky: 4/5 stars. This was essentially the condensed and easier version of my Stars and Cosmology course I took two years ago!! I sped read this and some of the greek myths they described were dumb down/removed the queerness of it. Which is why I took off a whole star.
24. The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: 5/5 stars. Hello Marie Kondo. Everyone is on a cleaning kick/obsessed with Marie Kondo. I liked this comic because it was short and also made her book in a bite size, story drive style. I liked its simplistic form!
25. Julian is a Mermaid: 5/5 stars. Iā€™ve had my eye on this book for a year, ever since it was announced in Goodreadsā€™ monthly list. I found the last copy and snatched it up. I like the muted colors, the art style, the different bodies, and letting little boys know itā€™s ok to dress up as mermaids or anything feminized. A great message!!!
26. Kiss Number 8: 5/5 stars. This is one of those random comics I saw in the new releases and the cover caught my eye. I read the first few pages and decided to buy it. I loved it as itā€™s a coming out story but the main story isnā€™t revolved around coming out. Itā€™s about the complicated nature of family, coming out through the years, and trans themes. I know some people say this book and the characters are transphobic due to misgendering and dead names used, but the main character is catholic. Her family are mega catholic. Sheā€™s going to a catholic school. Of course thereā€™s going to be misgendering and dead names used! Itā€™s how people naturally react to news. If youā€™re super sensitive, I wouldnā€™t read this book, but I loved it to bits. I held it to my chest like I do rarely with those books that give you the warm feels.
27. Elephi - The Cat with the High IQ: 5/5 stars. This was a book I grabbed at a close down sale. Itā€™s about Elephi who sees a small fiat car abandoned in the snow outside and decides to use his brains to get the car inside the fifth story apartment. The author really knows how cats act and I felt like all the mannerisms were perfect for a year old cat(kitten). Really a cute book that I read in 40 minutes??
28. One Happy Tiger: 4/5 stars. A book about a tiger counting friends. Cute. Itā€™s a childrenā€™s book. Not too substantial in anything.
29. The Language of Thorns: 5/5 stars. Ok WOW. I bought this about a year ago during B&Nā€™s signed deals where they just had a ton of books signed by the authors. Iā€™ve seen this book floating around on BookTube for awhile and I decided to check it out at the bookstore. The illustrations sold me and I bought it. Imagine the already dark Grimmā€™s fairy tales, but darker. More context for the characters: Ursula, the Nutcracker, Hansel and Gretel but if Gretel was the only one at home. Really amazing stories and if youā€™re interested in dark, pretty illustrations that change with each page, pick it up!
30. Satoko and Nada vol 1: 5/5 stars. Ramona and I went to B&N yesterday, just sitting around like two useless gays reading a bunch of manga. This is one she picked out and told me to read it. You know me, as a white academic I am constantly on the lookout for narratives that arenā€™t white and can educate me. This was one of them! Satoko is from Japan while Nada is from Saudi Arabia, both are exchange students in the US. Their friendship, learning about each otherā€™s cultures is so fucking cute. ;0;
31: I Hear the Sunspot vol 1: 4/5 stars. I docked this down from a 5 star rating because it just jumps into a established plot. I had no idea if this was a continuation from another series or if the author purposefully just threw us in the mix of an established gay relationship but theyā€™re not really (they are but theyā€™re confused) with some flashbacks that looks like it came from another volume? But despite those factors, the art is gorgeous. The characters are well developed and have complex background and stories to tell (one of the main characters has a degenerative hearing issue and will eventually become deaf).
32. Building Writing Center Assessments that Matter: 4/5 stars. This was a required text I had for a independent study I was a part of where I created a assessment of the climate of where I worked. This is a great resource in learning how to build assessments from scratch, and if youā€™ve never conducted one. I found the information they gave was limited to assessment of students who use the a writing center, while my assessment was more focused on how safe, valued, and heard those who currently work in the space feel. A great way to step into assessments!
33. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: 4/5 stars. This was the first fictionalized piece of Slyvia Plath Iā€™ve read. I can understand why it wasnā€™t published at first. Thereā€™s a lot of loose ends. Why was Mary going to the Ninth Kingdom? Why is everyone so placant in going to a ā€œhellā€ type place? Also what the hell was the ending and her running away? This story left a lot to be answered, but I also love that about this short story.
34. Momo to Manji Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Volume two of one of my favorite historical yaoi mangas. Itā€™s still hasnā€™t been fully translated just yet but I love it all the same!! So many complex characters, relationships!
35. Sweet Blue Flowers Vol 1. 5/5 stars. The first edition of a 5 volume series. Ramona told me to read this and I devoured the first book! Wholesome young girls falling in love with each other! Boyish girls who are heartthrobs! Unrequited love galore! Definitely going to check out the rest of the volumes!
36. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me: 5/5 stars. Man. This comic took me through a roller coaster of feelings. First it kind of made me miss the constant interactions I had with people in junior high and high school. It also reminded me heavily of my first gf and I wondered if she and her friends viewed me as Laura Dean (in terms of being too cool. I never cheated lmao. And always just out of reach). It made me melancholy for a younger me who was also hopeless in love with their best friend. It was a wild ride, but one I recommend wholeheartedly!
37. Lovable Lyle: 5/5 stars. Iā€™ve been looking at this little crocodile for awhile and Iā€™ve come to the conclusion he is me. This book was silly but heartwarming as Lyle is beloved but suddenly receives letters from his sworn enemy. They try to ignore it, but they are persistent until they catch the culprit. Fucking ridiculous story but I loved every second.
38. The Great American Pin-Up: 5/5 stars. It was really cool how they sectioned off each famous artist of pin-ups. Some of them were tasteful nudes, semi-nudes, or lingerie teasing moments. As someone who is both gay and used to draw pin-up girls, this is a great reference!!!!
39. Drawing the R.A.F.: 5/5 stars. This book is one of those rarer finds. A british artist was commissioned to draw the officers of the R.A.F. in the middle of World War II. Some portraits are far better than others, but the worser ones are attached with amazing stories. Such as a 6ā€6ā€™ pilot having to be physically shoved in a spitfire. These are fantastic and the art work is really beautiful.
40. Whereā€™s Will? 4/5 stars. Whereā€™s Will is a William Shakespeare version of Whereā€™s Waldo. The art is beautiful and the hidden characters are extremely clever. However, I remember so often spending hours upon hours trying to find Waldo and the extreme satisfaction of finally finding him. Whereā€™s Will I could find him within 5 minutes. It never went long enough to the point I feel worn and frustrated and finding several more interesting characters. He stood out more than he should and I flew through this book that Waldo would find insulting! But the illustrations are beautiful!
41. Carrā€™s Pocket Books - Florence Nightingale: 4/5 stars. This mini collection of Nightingaleā€™s journals throughout her life is really interesting. As a woman who revolutionized what it meant to be a nurse and nurse practices, it was nice to see her own words from age 9 to 90. She was an elegant little girl with her writing and she showed wisdom beyond her years. Did I learn anything substantial about her work? No. But I did come to know her on a far more personal level that I appreciate.
42. Carrā€™s Pocket Books - How Horatius Kept the Bridge: 5/5 stars. Another one of these small pocket sized books I bought in Oundle, England. I donā€™t know why, but Iā€™ve just been desperate to go through my books and get rid of any and all that donā€™t speak to me anymore. I also just want to read, a lot. This was part of my kick this week, trying to get through as many as possible. This poem story is about Roman soldier Horatius and how he single handedly took the Bridge against the Greeks. Itā€™s a military triumphant, silly, and mystical, but I really enjoyed the structure of it. It was short and sweet.
43. Echoland: 3.5/5 stars. Echoland follows Arvid, a 12 year old Norwegian boy who visits his grandparents in Denmark for the summer. However, heā€™s growing up and heā€™s realizing that his parents are strained for some reason, his sister is too grown for him, and his grandparents are getting older. This book was confusing. It was short, quick, and I think younger children would enjoy this book more than me. It deals with more adult themes but through the eyes of a 12 year old. However, I found a lot of the storyline to be confusing: Why does Arvid not want to be touched? Why are his parents fighting?? Why does he hate all the men in his family? Why is he pushing everyone away? Why are his parents putting up with his attitude? There are a LOT of questions I have and thereā€™s no real answer to be found. Maybe itā€™s the authorā€™s style, but I found the story to be not as believable, but still enjoyable.
44. Mathilda. 2.5/5 stars. Mathilda was an audiobook I listened to as I suddenly got a migraine at around 6 pm and it didnā€™t let up until around midnight. The last three hours Iā€™ve been listening to it. I thought this was Matilda from Roald Dahl but was instead by Mary Shelley herself. This was a very bizarre story. I really enjoyed the first half of the story which is about Mathilda writing a final letter to her best friend upon her deathbed. Sheā€™s retelling him her tragic story and how the death of her father was her fault. Her childhood was very bleak, touch starved as her mother died and her father abandoned her to his half sister. Her half sister wasnā€™t warm to her and saw her as a pest, which had Mathilda growing up til she was 16 without a father. Suddenly her father decided to return and within 2 months of his return her aunt dies, and now sheā€™s in his custody. At first everything is fine, until her father starts to lash out at her and is very distant. He at first wants Mathilda to replace her mother and then rejects the idea. They go for a walk and Mathilda presses her father to tell her his deep secret and why he hates her all of a sudden. He refuses until she presses on and then he tells her that he lusts for her. She freaks out, he almost dies in the woods from shame, and then he leaves the next morning. Mathilda is then angry because SHE wanted to leave her father, but because heā€™s abandoning her again she chases after him. She finds him dead in a hotel room and then Mathilda begins to resent life and living. The story was great up until she decides to chase her father after he leaves her. It became a jumbled mess and Mathilda herself says her mind is a little mad with her decisions. The story started off as an intrigue with beauty descriptions, intense, and then just went bat shit crazy. The story ended on beautiful reflections on nature and how death is not beautiful for those living, but it really lost me. The last hour was a drag. I would definitely suggest listening to it if you have a migraine!
45. Megume to Tsugumi: 5/5 stars. Gay comic, lmao.
46. Golden Sparkle: 5/5 stars. I donā€™t remember the plot but it was cute.
47. Maltese Falcon: 2/5 stars. I was forced to read this for a film and literature class. Everyone was ranting and raving how the main character should be a male role model but thatā€™s extremely stupid. Look, I love bad male representation (looking at you James Bond), but he was just trash. I get this is a famous crime novel, but GOD. Itā€™s bad.
48. Maiden & Princess: 5/5 stars. This was about a maiden going to a ball who everyone thought she would marry the Prince. Except she and the Prince are best friends and she really fell in love with his sister. We love pride month books!
49. Prince & Knight: 5/5 stars. A gender-swap of Maiden & Princess except this was a Prince who goes off to slay a dragon to save his kingdom only to fall in love with a knight and marry him. SO GOOD.
50. Komi Canā€™t Communicate, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. My friend Ramona told me to read this volume since she read it and loved it. While I loved the art and Komi, the story line was just a tad flat for me. Itā€™s a really fun series if you like high school semi-romance but mostly heavy on friendship~!
51. What was Stonewall? 3/5 stars. This was one of those children informative books where they retell a piece of history. I thought this was great for children who know nothing about Stonewall but are hearing it from Drag Queens or in June for Pride History Month. I thought the information about Stonewall was short and concise and also good for children, however the book did verge off point and talk about other points of history as well as random actors who are gay. This is good, but it isnā€™t Stone wall, you know?
52. Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag: 4/5 stars. I watched Milk and I cried at the end. Iā€™ve been wanting to know more about how Milk created our Pride Flag and this was another one of those books where itā€™s curated for children. So I appreciate the run down version it gives us, but they had to ā€œmodifyā€ what the stripes mean, such as purple being Sexuality. Let kids hear the unfiltered truth!
53. TBH #1: TBH, This Is So Awkward: 4/5 stars. This was in the teen new released section and itā€™s a book of text messages. I hated this book, but also was way too invested in it when I was reading it out loud to my date. Itā€™s just a bunch of middle school people sending love notes, getting the Valentineā€™s Day dance cancelled because they wonā€™t stop using their phone and their principal said ā€œSocial Decency.ā€ And then it ended by one of the girls bringing the valentineā€™s day dance back by creating a Task Force to enforce no texting during school. It was fucking wild and I loved every page I flipped through and wrote in.
54. Adaptations from Short Story to Big Screen: 4/5 stars. I liked it well enough, it was a textbook so I didnā€™t really read the stories in-depth. However, there are two stories I absolutely love which are Field of Dreams and Smoke Signals.
55. Our Father Who Art in a Tree: 5/5. I loved this book. Itā€™s very true to the experience of what itā€™s like to be depressed and the first few months of deep grief. While I didnā€™t lose my parent until my teenage years and my brothers were older, but the strained relationships grief causes is so fucking poignant.
56. Little Miss P: 5/5 stars. I know itā€™s strange, because itā€™s a man writing a book about periods, but this was an excellent book. It really showcased the love-hate relationship women have with their periods and also sometimes accurate representations of what it feels like.
57. Ginza Neon Paradise: 4/5 stars. I donā€™t remember reading this manga! (Iā€™m updating my book list after some months)
58. Na Leo I Ka Makani/Voices on the Wind: 5/5 stars. A book of history and photos of native Hawaiians, royals, and other cultural aspects important to the island. Some really cool photos.
59. Satoko & Nada vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Satoko and Nada are back again, continuing on with their studies and friendship. This book still continues to teach westerners some cool Eastern values while the main characters are learning about each other as well. I think the 3rd volume will come out soonish and that might be the end!!! I love this little series!
60. Annie on My Mind: 5/5 stars. One of the first lesbian novels to show a happy ending with the characters. Itā€™s very much a high school love story and first real love. There were some parts of the story that were absolutely aggravating, painfully embarrassing, but also really heart warming. Itā€™s a queer foundational book in literature, and if youā€™re interested in the history of queer literature, this should be on your list.
61. Killing Stalking: 5/5 stars. The comic finally ended. I started reading it in 2016 and finished in 2019. God was it a ride. It was full of conflicting feelings, creepiness, and an ending that leaves the reader confused, fulfilled, and also not fulfilled at the same time. I wouldnā€™t suggest reading it for those who are squeamish with gore, violence, and dark sexual themes, but itā€™s a fantastic read into what itā€™s like to experience stockholm syndrome and intense violent trauma.
62. Go for it, Nakamura!: 5/5 stars. A high school student falls in love with his popular classmate, but his classmate doesnā€™t know he exists! A cute gay book about falling in love, making friends, and pushing yourself to achieve your goals!
63. The Great Gatsby: 4/5 stars. The next two books are books I listened to while deep cleaning my room. It took me two days to fully clean my room, and this was also a challenge for my N.E.W.T.S 2019. I remember reading this book in high school and liking, and I think I lent out my copy and never saw it again. I bought it recently and decided to give it a re-read/listen. I think reading the book would have made it more engaging to me, but I found the themes to not be as impressive as an adult. Maybe itā€™s because I canā€™t relate to the characters or their choices are so dumb that I just canā€™t believe it anymore, but it was still entertaining to listen to. The narrator was great!
64. Emma (Narrated by Emma Thompson): 5/5 stars. This feels a bit like cheating because this rendition was not only abridged, but also had live actors. Iā€™m very familiar with Emma, and Emma Thompson as the narrator was a genius move. However, do I feel like I read/listened to Emma? Not really.
65. Fresh Romance, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. Half of the stories were very confusing and not very good. However, I really loved two stories about a Regency marriage and a spin off of Beauty and the Beast. I would read this volume just for those additions.
66. Pilu of the Woods: 5/5 stars. A cute story about emotions, friendship, and the woods. It even has a recipe on the back I want to read it!! The colors and characters are adorable. The storyline might not be as solid, but itā€™s a great read!
67. Ou-same to Puppy Love: 5/5 stars. A foreign prince falls in love with a neat-freak government official. Queue stupid boys in love!
68. Sugar Days: 5/5 stars. Childhood best friends, one small and manly, one tall and feminine, both love each other without having the courage to tell the other!!!! Very cute!!!!!
69. The Tea Dragon Society: 5/5 stars. I remember seeing this book a year ago and how everyone was ranting and raving about it. However, I never bought it or saw it. My best friend brought it over the other day for me to read and I could finally see what the fuss was about. QUEER CHARACTERS, LITTLE DRAGONS WITH TEA LEAVES GROWING OFF OF THEM, MULTIPLE REPRESENTATION!!!! ITā€™S SO GOOOOOD!
70. Luminous Animal: 5/5 stars. A jazz poetry book. Itā€™s interesting how Tony Moffeit can write the same theme over and over, with the same lines but in different poems with different perspectives. It was really cool!
71. Still Mostly True: 5/5 stars. A weird poetry book that has philosophy and deep meaning poems with also weird ass drawings. However, my poetry book had inscriptions from someone else to their friend. The inscriptions were sometimes very annoying, but also kind of heartwarming how this friend made sure her friend knew she was thinking of her and loving her.
72. Sky, Wind, and Stars. 5/5 stars. A poetry book that was a Korean activist who was murdered by the Japanese through medical experiments for his radical poetry. We watched the movie in my Korean History through film class, and I loved it to bits I wanted to read his poetry. The movie downplayed just how radical his poetry was. Even as a English speaker, I can clearly see the activism, Korean pride that was written during the Japanese occupation. It was a wonderful poetry book, and an important one to Koreans at that. If you have the chance to read it, please do.
73. Memoirs of a Geisha: 5/5 stars. Haley (one of my bffs) recommended me this book like 3 years ago. Itā€™s her favorite and I kept saying I would read it. August was the N.E.W.T.S. challenge and this fit the category of ā€œaudiobookā€ as I listened to a fan read audio of it and then had to read the last 7 chapters. I completely see where my friend finds inspiration in her writing from this book! I really loved the sad story, the harsh reality of Japan, even if this book was more on the idealized version of WWII in Japan and how Geishas were. Some of the thinking of Chiyo I feel could be chalked up to white men ideal sexualization, but overall I really enjoyed this book! Plus the fan who read it was really into her characters and she made the experience really fun.
74. Be Prepared: 5/5 stars. When youā€™re poor, Russian, and have the All-American-Girls as your best friends, life is extremely hard. No one likes your Russian food, the smallness of your home, and listening to a language not their own. VERA NEEDS SOME FUCKING NEW FRIENDS. As someone whose best friend is Russian, has a sister-in-law who is Russian, and a nephew learning to speak Russian, some people are really insensitive and it drives me nuts. I know a lot of people are upset with this book because itā€™s not a ā€œfull memoirā€ and yet is described as a memoir. Iā€™ll just pose the question, can you remember 1 month straight at 10 years old, from people to dialogue? No? Yeah, cut the book some slack. This has great representation in terms of Russian culture and learning through it from little Russian eyes.
75. Kiraide Isasete: 5/5 stars. Itā€™s another gay manga.
76. I married my best friend to shut up my parents: 4/5 stars. While I appreciate this story is light-hearted, it seems a bit far fetched for my taste. Also the main character doesnā€™t believe sheā€™s gay, so I find it hard that a) she would actually get married and b) would just readily fall in love with her friend when sheā€™s literally had no sexual desire for anyone. But other than that, itā€™s a ridiculous love story and itā€™s to the point!
78. Heartstopper V.2: 5/5 stars. I already read this awhile ago but I finally got my copy! So Iā€™m just putting it in my list!
79. Raven: 5/5 stars. Raven is the first installment of the origins of the Teen Titans characters. I really loved this novel since Raven has always been a dark character in the original show. This book explores her experience with death, coming to terms with her birth origins, and New Orleans with ancient magic. A great start to a series Iā€™m looking forward to reading the rest of!
80. Heartless. 4/5 stars. A child is taken care of by a succubus (male) after a religious cult burns down a hospital to get rid of the succubus. This story is intense in the gore and horror, but pretty light in plot. Thereā€™s no real driving force behind the characters and what they do, no explanation, itā€™s all just there for the reader to assume it just happened. But the characters were dynamic and interesting with superhuman powers and abilities.
81. The Adventure Zone Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Every time I see Madame Director I sigh in relief because she exactly looks how I envisioned her while listening to the podcast many years ago. The story line is short, I feel like some of the build up jokes are lost or the frustration Griffin has with his brothers and dad that make the podcast so hilarious are missing, but itā€™s a really beautiful comic and also a great way for people to start listening to TAZ and MBMBAM
82: The Wind in the Willow: 4/5 stars. An audiobook I listened to. I had the paperback but it was too much reading for my mind for a classic children book. When I found the option on Libby, I listened to it as I started my preparations for the start of my final semester as an undergraduate! It went by fast, the actors were in their characters and there were some songs performed. I really enjoyed it, even if Mr. Toad is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Would recommend for those wanting to kill 2 hours of their time.
83. Classmates: 5/5 stars. High school sweethearts? Canā€™t express their feelings well? Uh, sign me the FUCK uP.
84-108. W Juliet: 5/5 stars. I havenā€™t read W Juliet since I was in 7th grade. I remember that I loved it so much that when I was in high school I began collecting the volumes and proudly put it on my shelf. I used to have two bookshelves worth of manga, and when I grew older I sold them but only kept two series: Marmalade Boy and W Juliet (Iā€™m gonna read Marmalade Boy next). Iā€™ve been wanting to reread W Juliet recent and revisit Mako and Itoā€™s silliness, and with the long weekend I did. I was not prepared for the analysis it would give me to my own life. Like, holy shit. This manga series was so important in developing me who I was as a kid, (some of them very mild kinks that my rp friends are subjected to), the loss Ito has and her issues with gender and like 100000% me and how I donā€™t like masculine guys at all with their toxicity (hello Mako, you summer child boy). I honestly want to do a fucking research paper on this series with an analysis of myself because of how much I love this series and how I connect to it. You can bet your ass this manga is coming with me for the rest of my life.
109-117. Marmalade Boy: 3/5 stars. Marmalade Boy was the manga that started it all. I remember being 8, having found the manga section with my best friend, and we decided to share reading Marmalade Boy. I was so captivated by the story that I made her wait in the car at her house, refusing to let her have the book until I finished it. It was the final of the volume, and it wouldnā€™t be another 3 years until I read the series OUT OF ORDER. I kept rereading this series, picking it up, I remember it felt like watching a movie. As an adult? God this series is really awful. The characters are very annoying, the teacher is very creepy, the plot moves WAY too quickly, and no one knows what consent is. Itā€™s fucking insane. 1-7 volume is trash, but the 8th volume really put to life in the characters. For one, theyā€™re older, it's been a few years, and they can step back from the crazy lives of high school. If it wasnā€™t for the sheer nostalgia, I would be giving these books away. But you gotta pay respect to those books that introduced you to life changing moments.
118. Ouji to Kotori. 4/5 stars. An art student, a prince who buys him, trying to escape, foreign lands, a story that has a ā€œromanticā€ but is open ended. I liked the flow of the story, the art, and the characters were actually believable.
119. Mean Girls Club. 3.5/5 stars. Mean Girls Club is a 1950s tale of girls rising against the patriarchy through sex, survivor, drugs, and murder. The art style is amazing. But the story line is flat and feels rushed. Not a favorite, but still pretty enjoyable.
120. Grumpy Monkey. 5/5 stars. Grumpy Monkey is the story of a monkey who wakes up grumpy. Despite everyone not believing he can be so grumpy on a beautiful day, him denying that heā€™s grumpy, and getting angry at people telling him HEā€™S grumpy, is such a goddamn mood. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me my mood. You donā€™t know me. Fuck off. Anyways, this also felt like a mental health book for kids, letting them know it's ok to NOT feel ok. As long as someone is willing to listen and not wanting to fix your grumpiness.
121. Dia de los Muertos. 4/5 stars. A childrenā€™s informational book about the Day of the Dead. Short, simple, great education.
123. Wild Cherry. 4/5 stars. Wild Cherry is a poetry book Iā€™ve been totting around for 2 months but have had no energy to pick it up. Iā€™ve been very depressed that I havenā€™t had time to read, and despite me falling asleep right now, I forced myself to read it. It felt very repetitive after a while with her constant calling back to long lost love, death, and April, but I appreciated the 1923 themes that were NO doubt soo popular.
124. Through the Woods: 5/5 stars. A horror comic book that reminds me a lot of ā€œScary Stories to Tell in the Dark.ā€ I lent it to my co-worker since he loves these types of stories!
125. Dancing with Mr. Darcy: 1/5 stars. I read the first story which was Jane Austen crossing the River Styx and facing her judgement and then I tried to read the rest and it was all so fucking boring??? I put the book down and will not be continuing.
126. The Night Diary: 5/5 stars. So this was an audiobook I listened to during the week I had awful vertigo. I couldnā€™t go to work or university and I laid on the couch, glasses off, just listening to this story. If it hadnā€™t been read to me, I donā€™t think I would have loved it as much. It follows Nisha who is forced to leave after WWII when India is split into New India and Pakistan. All muslims are allowed to stay, but all Hindus must leave for New India because of territorial wars. It follows the dreadful path during the desert, the violence they faced, and the childā€™s innocence slowly being robbed from her. Itā€™s all told through Nishaā€™s diary who pens it to her mother. The voice actor did a wonderful job.
127. We Contain Multitudes: 5/5 stars. Tiny twink nerd falls in love with Giant Jock football star. And then he falls in love with the nerd and theyā€™re hormonal and coming out and angst with love. I understand why people are upset with the novel: the plot twist seems like a total cop out that the author placed and a 15 year old dating a 18 year old can get borderline statutoary rape. However, I absolutely loved this book. It was refreshing to have a ā€œcoming outā€ narrative that wasnā€™t focused on coming out, but rather these two boys falling in love through letters, reading the cringe of HS romances, and desperately following these boys through it all. Itā€™s definitely a favorite I read this year!
128. Lovely War: 4/5 stars. This is the third book I read while going through vertigo, and my second audiobook. Itā€™s set during WWI, following two love narratives but told through the perspectives of the Greek God. It was really refreshing, the voice acting was excellent, and I really enjoyed listening while dizzy constantly. I would have given in a 5 star rating, but near the end, Hazelā€™s pixie-manic girl stereotype was getting out of hand and her hypocrisy was really fucking annoying. However, up until that point, I really enjoyed it and recommended it to several friends!
129. The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge: 4.5/5 stars. I really struggled not giving this book five stars, but I thought some of the narration and story-telling could have done a tiny bit better. This was a great audiobook to listen to while I packed and finished projects before my plane ride to my first ever work conference. I was bummed out that I couldnā€™t listen to this audiobook on the plane because Libby requires wifi, but I really enjoyed the fantasy comedy of this book (even though fantasy tends to be a topic I donā€™t dare approach because it just through you into a world with no explanation). 10/10 would recommend to strangers on the street.
130. Aaron and Ahmed: 4/5 stars. I read this books during my great ā€œaaaAH Iā€™M GRADUATING TIME IS UNREALā€ So these will be short. A story about after 9/11 and the brutality American soldiers went to gain answers, even if there were none.
131. The Tea Dragon Festival: 5/5 stars. Dragons? Tea? LGTB+? Who could ask for more??
132. Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip to Love: 5/5 stars. Lesbians calling out how trashy other lesbians treat girls who generally like them. ā€œFuck Boyā€ was used a lot and I loved this.
133. Skull-face Bookseller vol. 1: 5/5 stars. A skeleton tries to sell manga and explores the crazy customers who come in, the social mistakes foreigners make with Japanese booksellers, and Honda-san doing her best to survive in her job.
134-136. Beastars Vol 1-3: 5/5 stars. I saw a bit of the anime and realized there was a manga. I bought the two volumes I could and then the third one from amazon. I really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading it more!
137. I hear the Sunspot Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Itā€™s nice to see the couple going on, even if its GUT-WRENCHING and stupid how they refuse to communicate!!!!! But it hits hard topics of the community for the hard of hearing and functioning in a world where signing is considered not important enough to teach.
138. Pink: 5/5 stars. A sex worker who spends all her money feeding her alligator and the trouble she gets into. Weird art style and at first I opened this book and didnā€™t buy it. 3 months later, decided to buy it and I adored it.
139: Restless: 4/5 stars. I donā€™t remember much about it, but I think it was cute. Maybe boyfriends find each other again?
140. How can one sell the air?: 5/5 stars. Iā€™ve had this ā€œcallingā€ to start really reading native american stories and heritage. This is a controversial book with Suquamish people as they either see their leader finally giving up or instilling courage to stay firm even as the world does their best to destroy them. I really enjoyed reading his speech.
141. Skull-face Bookseller Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Honda-san comes back again with her friends and exploring working in the shop with more crazy customers but also with her new found fame being a manga artist.
142. Gold Rush Women: 4/5 stars. A lot of white women with these narratives, which was disappointing since most of the Gold Rush Women were indegenious or came from other areas of the world rather than just Europe or East America. Wish there were more stories on the black, mexican, indegineous, or chinese women who were forced into slavery or abused or helped create the west.
143. No one is too small to make a difference: 5/5 stars. Greta Thornberg amazes me. Here we have a 15 year old with aspergers who is doing her best to inspire scientists, politicians, and anyone in the world to take charge of our climate change issues. It also amazes me how many people are threatened by a 15 year old and sheā€™s forced to repeat herself in her speeches because people refuse to listen to what she has to say. Sheā€™s amazing.
144. Ookami he no Yomeiri: 3.5/5 stars A bunny and a wolf get married. What more can I say?
145. Monody: 3/5 stars: Monody is a strange poetry book. The lyrical writing leaves lacking in terms of uniqueness and deep thought, but aesthetically it is beautiful. Blue font paired with geographical maps of Reno, Nevada, the poetry book comes off more of an art piece.
146. Usagi no Mori: 3/5 stars. Uhmmm. Donā€™t rememberā€¦
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