#that he could be enough for xiazi

[lungache]

Emotional about heihua and how xiao hua's heartbreak boils down to "i will never forgive you if you die" he would forgive xiazi anything, but not that. never that. and he is so deeply frustrated that threatening that isn't enough to keep xiazi here because it's all he has.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 8

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here.

20240902

1233

Why do people say that Tianshou is angsty? #Web Drama Zang Hai Hua# #NPSS explains Tianshou# [Video] 

1508

Q: I want to know if there are two forces of Tianshou, both good and bad sides respectively: Gate guarding Tianshou (good) and Lu God's Tianshou (bad). 

A: You're a little smart.

1509

Q: Shu, if little Zhang Qiling was in a tomb one second and transmigrated into his Yucun self the next second with his feet in the same foot bath as Wu Xie’s, what would his first sentence be?

A: A demon!

1510

Q: I will watch Zang Hai Hua for you… Don’t stop answering, okay…

A: I’m still persevering.

1511

Q: A-Bing, did you know that Zang Hai Hua will stop updating for 3 days? Do you still want your Heat Index or not! (T/N: Heat Index is the ranking/ trending-ness of a drama.)

A: I’m not the boss. It’s not my decision to make!

1537

Q: Hello, Xu-laoshi. Since you said that you won’t be writing “Yucun Biji” anymore (If there’s going to be 9 more Yucun Biji published, then you don’t have to read this post because Yucun Biji is my favorite out of the entire series), can I beg you for an Altay Biji? I wish to see the Iron Triangle’s nomadic life: Menyouping riding a motorcycle to Ürümqi to buy stuff (could also go from a summer ranch to some village). Wu Xie would be in charge of raising cats and dogs and chickens and goats and cows. Pangzi would be in charge of steaming lamb and barbecuing lamb chop. When they don’t want to herd the animals anymore, they can plant sunflowers. Wu Xie can use his architectural talents and build underground houses and learn a few Kazakh words…  

A: I’ve been to Altay. The life there is like the original series and not Yucun.

1540

Q: Laoshi, Sir, Genius Writer, do you know how amazing the Flowery Night you wrote is? How did you do it? Are you Team Experience or Team Imagination? Has a beautiful god descended in the middle of the night and kissed the keyboard you wrote Flowery Night on?

A: Those who understand Flowery Night are experts.

1553 Q: I just took a nap and Shu got online. With the drama updates on hold for three days, will you chat with us for three days?

A: On and off, I guess. I’m deathly busy. I want to cry.

1554

Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, what is the one thing that Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi did that angered the other the most? Please tell me.

A: That would be enough for ten books.

1858

Q: Would there be one day where the Iron Triangle gets poisoned after eating some unknown mushrooms?

A: It would if Xiaoge isn’t around.

1858

Q: Shu, would there be updates for Queen’s Banquet? Approximately when would the updates start? Wu Xie is about to go moldy being stuck in that hole.

A: Soon. I need to pick a good desk.

1900

Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, does Wu Xie have any children appropriate de-stressing methods? The kind that can be broadcasted.

A: Standing in the rain?

20240903

0509

Q: The cat didn’t survive but if the cat did survive, would Xiaohua keep it? Or would he give it to Xiazi to raise?

A: Xiaohua wouldn’t interfere with the cat’s karma.

0510

Q: Shu, I really went to Louwailou to eat their West Lake Vinegar Fish during 817. The taste was unforgettable… The restaurant was full of Daomis. Do you have anything you would like to say to the Daomis who have been violently beaten up by the Vinegar Fish?

A: I’ve heard that every fish that was made into a Vinegar Fish has died in vain?

1259

Q: No updates for three days, you could say that this is a version of Three Days in Silence.

A: You sure know how to meme…

and here's part two if today's double update! we've caught up to 3rd September now! hooray! and this is 120 posts (less than 120 questions)... theres... an amount to go... but! whittling! making progress! yay!

[olderthannetfic]

Yuletide Wrap Up

Another Yuletide has come and gone. I received an amazing HeiHua fic this year:

Tell Me That You Like It by Tenillypo – Hei Xia Zi/Xie Yuchen, 13k

It’s hilariously exactly what my letter suggested: plot, porn, the exact dubcon dynamic I described. I was snickering most at:

Hei Xiazi hummed thoughtfully. "Jiangshi don't drink blood. They absorb qi." "Lucky us, it turns out these ones do both."

This is both good world building for the fic and amusingly familiar as an author. This folkloric monster doesn’t quite work for my plotbunny… ah, fuck it, lampshade time!

My own writing process was… awkward this year. 2023 was a stressful slog for me in a lot of ways, and I just couldn’t take time away from professional writing for a lot of the Yuletide period. I had this great plotbunny that I could see so clearly and a bunch of preliminary research, but I just couldn’t sit down and write. And then, by the time I could, I was ill and unmotivated. I did finally pull it together to write a version of my assignment I had time for before the deadline. I thought I’d have time in the week before golive to write, but my brain was mush. And then, the day before golive, I finally got my brain back. I wrote like 12k in a day. And it still wasn’t enough. I thought I only had a few thousand left to write, but it just wasn’t happening by 1am… And I’m glad I waited to put it in Madness because I wrote all day on Christmas too. I didn’t even feel burnt out after. I haven’t been that in the zone all year. My only regret is only having time to do a little bit of food research.

To no one’s surprise, I offered Mysterious Lotus Casebook and wrote a fic to fix, or at least expand on, the ending. Much as I love Li Lianhua, he’s a bit of a dick for that ending. It made me wonder: what would it take to make him show himself again? Combine that with me reading a few too many journal articles on Taoist sex magic a while back trying to figure out how real life ideas about dual cultivation relate to fictional ones, and, well…

Constancy – Di Feisheng/Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua, 21k

[fixaidea]

Hei Xiazi is on a mission. It’s a Totally Serious mission of intel gathering and detective work, and he’s been at it for ages. See, he has decided to finally, definitively uncover what the ever loving hell is going on between Yaba Zhang and Wu Xie.

Well sure, they are completely unwell about each other, but just how much? The evidence is contradictory.

On one hand, spending more than five minutes around the two will expose you to near-terminal levels of long, soulful gazing, to the point where you’re tempted to cuff them, fling them into an empty room, lock the door and tell them to just get on with it already.

On the other hand he’d never really caught them at any form of physical affection that could not defensibly be read as platonic, especially knowing how either of them acted around Pangzi. And sure, Glasses did factor a possible Iron Triangle poly pile into his calculations, but with how much Pangzi liked women, this seemed rather unlikely?

Well, okay, this one time he spotted Yaba and Wu Xie pressing their foreheads together for a beat too long, and nuzzling their noses a bit when they parted. That looked pretty damn romantic.

He was almost ready to draw a conclusion then, but just to double check, the day before next Qixi he asked Wu Xie what his plans were for the next day - making sure not to bring up the festival itself. Interestingly enough, Wu Xie did not seem to know or care what day it was and just said he was planning to sleep in and maybe experiment a bit in the kitchen.

…The actual truth is that yes, Wu Xie and Xiaoge ARE very much together and have been almost since they settled down in Yucun, it’s just that they live in their own little world and are doing the romantic and sexual equivalent of shrimp colours. Neither of them has ever been in a relationship or had (consensual) sex (that they can remember) with anyone before each other and at this point they are both too old, traumatized and eccentric to give a flying fuck about how a Normal Courtship is supposed to go.

The Qixi program was actually quite romantic - sleeping in also meant Xiaoge not springing out of bed at ass o’ clock in the morning, and while Pangzi is usually happy to cook for the whole Triangle, that day Wu Xie wanted to personally spoil his partner (and show off a bit of course).

It’s not even a secret. Sure, neither are shouting it from the rooftops, but they aren’t going out of their way to hide it either.

Hell, the Zhang have been treating Wu Xie as their Patriarch’s other half for a long while now.

Somewhat surprisingly, even Wu Xie’s parents know. They were so damn happy to be finally TOLD something about their son’s life they barely even kicked up a fuss over it. (…Here both parties assumed the other was gonna tell Wu Erbai, so in an unusual turn of events it’s Ershu who’s out of the loop.)

In the end Glasses gets spoiled when he casually brings up the matter to Xie Yuchen, who just. Up and tells him the answer. Just like that. Because he also wondered and then just. Asked.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Mysterious Lotus Casebook - Ep 37

Amazing camouflage, Fang Duobing. No one will ever spot you.

I've got used to Cheng Yi's real voice now and I love the way he says Fang Xiaobao. He practically purrs it with his low voice.

I may not have a degree in architecture but Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing are standing next to what looks to me like the base of a pagoda wondering where the mysterious pagoda could be

Well who would have guessed

Feeling normal about them holding onto each other as they jumped into the hole

No, don't!

Is this another one of Li Lianhua's ex boyfriends?

Oh, it's him. What do you mean you haven't seen him for years? You've seen him multiple times since this drama started.

OH SHIT! Dude, what the fuck? Was poisoning him all those years ago not enough now you have to stab him too.

Fuck him, honestly. I knew I should have listened to my gut when he was being all patronising to Qiao Wanmian right at the start

Nobody speak to me I'm still mourning his hair

Your sect already is a laughing stock, my dude, and it's mostly because of your 'leadership'. Not the dude in the screenshot. It's Xiao Zijin who is talking.

Yes! You tell him! I'm sorry I got mad at you for telling him he's not suitable to be sect leader. He clearly is not and you were right.

Holy shit did she just take charge?

SHE JUST TOOK OVER THE SECT! I love her and I am sorry I ever called her useless

Wait, is Li Lianhua in the same prison as Di Feisheng??

Oh he's been chained up again. Happy birthday to me!

At least they've subbed Xiazi as 'blind man' which is better than Blindie which is what they used in the recent DMBJ movie

[lunanoc]

You know what, gimme the heihua one as well, why not, les go

fine you get a long snippet then

He’d been all of ten years old, eleven at most, when he first met Hei Xiazi—though perhaps ‘met’ is too definitive a word for however much the encounter left on Xie Yuchen a profound impression that would only confirm itself in the years to come, like an indent pressed upon his person deep enough that the mark could never fully fade. By then, his uncle, then his father and mother, had been dead for long enough that the mantle of responsibility had only just begun to settle on his shoulders, ill-fitting as it had been on a child who’d had so much yet to learn. He’d known enough by then about the dealings of the Nine families, of the ill-kept secret of the legacy their foundations stood upon, and that Erye made no effort to shield him from. Erye, thus, had had no qualms about conducting his business in Xie Yuchen’s presence, happy to let his student observe the proceedings, and therefore had also had no qualms about receiving his latest contractor when he’d shown up to Erye’s estate in the middle of Xie Yuchen’s daily opera lessons. From the moment Hei Xiazi had stepped out from the shadows into the sunlit courtyard, Xie Yuchen, young and impressionable as he’d still been to some degree, had known he was different. He’d learned, in the scant two or three years such things had become necessary knowledge, to observe and gauge the people he had even the most minor of dealings with. What he’d perceived of Hei Xiazi, even through the veil of inexperience he’d had yet to shed, had been enough to straighten his spine, pinning him in place, caught somewhere between a strange sense of awe and some primordial disquiet, the origin of which he hadn’t yet been able to identify. The ease with which the man moved, the wry grin that curled his lips, the conspicuous tinted sunglasses that concealed his eyes, the free, brazen air of confidence that in that moment the child that still lingered at the corners of Xie Yuchen’s mind like a ghost could not help but envy—all these things belied the distinct otherness that exuded from him however much it became increasingly evident he deliberately withheld it. It was the same sort of otherness, though honed to a far greater degree, that Xie Yuchen already perceived in himself, and on seeing it mirrored, could finally name.

i have nothing to say except this is now an au because i started writing it before i reached the point in canon that shits all over this idea, so au where heihua meet while xiao hua is still young and basically the evolution of their relationship over the years

[lunarriviera]

heihua prompt: hei xiazi caring for xiao hua in between the final scene in the tomb in mystery of the abyss and the final scene of them together the film, perhaps? i am a glutton for some h/c sprinkled with angst.

OH NO, I...already wrote it? but I could write it again! with more hurt, maybe?

•

only feels this raw right now (7238 words) by lunarriviera fandom: 重启之深渊疑冢 | Reunion: Mystery of the Abyss rating: E relationships: Hei Xiazi/Xie Yuchen tags: Mild Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Fluff and Angst, hei xiazi is unbelievably stubborn, but so is xie yuchen, First Time, no beta we die like Nagas, they're so in love it makes them look stupid series: Part 6 of untitled heihua project summary:

Xie Yuchen is finally well enough to get out of the hospital, but not yet quite well enough to go back to Beijing and renew his search for the cure to Hei Xiazi's incipient blindness. Yes, that would be the same Hei Xiazi who, if he keeps pampering Xie Yuchen like this, is going to get punched in the mouth.

[bowsie22]

Whumptober 12

Wu Xie is tired

12 – Wu Xie, ‘insomnia’, tomb curse, dangerous to life

Wu Xie liked his sleep, everyone knew that. He spent more money on his bedroom than anywhere else in Wushanju, even the shop.  It was his haven, that even Xiaoge was rarely let into. Super king mattress, goose down pillows, Egyptian cotton sheets, the softest pyjamas he could find, classical music playing softly in the background and his scented humidifier. Everyone knew better than to wake him up before his alarm or disturb him after his bedroom door closed behind him. 

Wu Xie liked his sleep.

It was meant to be an easy tomb. few rooms, traps too old to work and some good finds. Except there was one trap still working. And of course, Wu Xie set it off.

Which led to two days later, Wu Xie sitting up in his bed unable to sleep. Whatever gas had hit him made him unable to sleep. He couldn't even doze off! His eyes just refused to close. It wasn’t too bad at the moment, but he hoped Xiaoge, Xiazi and Xiao Hua found an answer soon. Pangzi was left with him, checking in every couple of minutes, offering him calming and soothing teas. Not that they did too much right now. All Wu Xie could do was wait. And hope he had enough books left to read.

Five days later and still no change in his sleeping habits. Wu Xie was feeling the effects of a week of no sleep. He was eating more, most of it junk food and energy drink, anything to get that extra energy boost he needed. After the third day he became cranky, snapping at Pangzi until the other man started avoiding him. He still delivered food and drink, leaving them at the door instead.

He knew the hallucinations were coming soon, he knew it was only going to get worse. Wu Xie couldn’t tell anyone, but he was scared. He knew he wouldn’t survive long without sleep. All he could do was trust that his friends would come through for him.

By the next day, Xiao Hua had a doctor moved into Wushanju. Wu Xie was ordered to stay in his bed, hooked to an IV for the proper nutrients, with the doctor setting up camp in the corner of his room. Pangzi wandered in and out, constantly on the phone.

Wu Xie wasn’t aware of any of this. By this stage he was too far gone. He’d started hallucinating yesterday, talking to his grandfather. Entire conversations that terrified Pangzi, knowing how close his friend was getting to death. The doctor could only do so much, considering this insomnia was unnatural.

All Pangzi could do was check up on the three searching for the cure while making sure Wu Xie was holding on. At this stage that’s all his young friend was doing. And even then, he was barely doing that.

It took eight days to find the antidote. Wu Xie glared at the doctor as he injected it into his IV, not understanding what was happening. Pangzi couldn’t help the sigh of relief as he watched his Wu Xie’s eyes flutter close, his breath evening out, deepening. Pottering around the room, he turned on the humidifier and the classical music, closing the blackout blinds. Now that Wu Xie was able to sleep again, Pangzi was determined he was going to enjoy it. The doctor packed his things, leaning into whisper to Pangzi, “He’ll probably sleep for at least a day, so I’ll keep the IV in. When he does wake up, food and drink and then a bath. He’ll be groggy for a while and will require a lot of sleep over the next week or two. Just make sure he’s eating and drinking, and he’ll be ok in no time.”

Pangzi nodded, closing the door behind the doctor, wanting another few minutes to watch over Wu Xie, make sure he was ok. Maybe they needed a break from tombs for the next few months. Pangzi really couldn’t take his friends being hurt again. He settled into the armchair Wu Xie had placed beside the bookcase in the room, just wanting to watch his friend. After a few minutes he could feel himself start to drift off, joining Wu Xie in sleep. Now that Wu Xie was finally safe and resting, it was time for Pangzi to catch up on his rest too. And where else would he do it, if not by Wu Xie’s side?

[lacommunarde]

100%

Both are ridiculously annoying when they want to be.

Baye knows his being annoying is actually endearing. He has years of experience of annoying himself into people's hearts - like Foye, Erye and Fu Guan all smile when Baye is annoying at them. - Xiao Hua is Erye's student. Hei Xiazi could have figured if anything's going to endear him to Xiao Hua, it's being his annoying self.

It would give Hei Xiazi a further reason to be like "don't call Zhang Da Foye by name" at Li Cu if he got to watch his friend's slow slide towards that. (He was close enough to Foye to have both admiration and fear of him.)

Hei Xiazi calls Zhang Rishan "Fu Guan" and look at him like they are old friends. So at least he knew him from before Foye died, probably even longer ago.

Baye mentions in the book that he is Not Allowed to look into things for those with a qilin tattoo. He very likely looks into those things when Zhang Qiling + M9 did their ill-fated mission. - that could very well have led to him getting hit by whatever is rotting Hei Xiazi's eyes.

Hei Xiazi is in the rare position of being friends with both Zhang Rishan and Zhang Qiling. Baye would also be in the rare position of being both friends to Foye's branch and Zhang Qiling (might have delivered info on where Foye had stashed Zhang Qiling to Xie Jiuye+Wu Laogou).

my new conspiracy theory: ba ye is hei xiazi

[eirenical]

OH THIS IS ALWAYS FUN.  @lizardrosen tagged me to post the last line of my WiP.  (I have... so many WiPs.  XD)  But SURE I’M GAME.  And to combine this with another of my favorite memes -- if you’d like to know any more about any of these WiPs, feel free to send me an ask!  ^_^

Lighthouse Keeper Shen Wei fic (Guardian, being cowritten with @elenothar)

"No, Zhao Yunlan… it is still I who owes you." 

Amnesia fic (Guardian)

Shen Wei might not be his son, but Zhou Yiwen would protect him as though he were.  No matter what consequences it might bring. 

Smut outtake from a HeiPing fic by @laireshi (DMBJ):

Yaba made a questioning sound as he brushed against Xiazi again, but Xiazi caught his hand, bringing it up to his lips for a brief kiss.  "While I appreciate the offer… I have something else in mind, if you're up for another round." 

Piaopiao fic (DMBJ):

*TL;DR—I reconnected with a grade school classmate after being many years divorced with a young, gravely ill daughter, and I would like to see him again.  Is this selfish of me?  Should I just leave well enough alone?* 

Time Swap AU (TLT2, Yucun Biji):

If Pangzi found out about this happening to him a second time, he'd never live it down. 

Soul of the City (GYADL AU):

*~Here.  He's here. He's here…  He’s _awake._~* 

Awards Show Aftermath (GYADL):

A warm puff of air in his ear, carrying words heavy with promise: "You've been so good tonight, Fusheng.  The finest escort a woman could ask for.  Can you be good for me for a little bit longer?" 

Fusheng Lives BUT AT WHAT COST (GYADL drama/novel fusion):

As Cheng Musheng finally moved away from the table, Jingyun followed him towards the kitchen.  Clearly there was a story here, and Musheng owed her one. 

Mei Gao Mei fic (GYADL):

Really, he just wanted to brush his teeth in peace!

Retribution (GYADL, next in the Whumptober series):

Fusheng had barely taken one step out of the alley before Qian Kuohai’s voice rolled out from it one last time.  “And for later?”

Fusheng smiled a grim smile.  “For later… I’ll be in touch.”  And then he was off into the night.

Muet, Chapter 14 (Les Mis):

“Come on, Enjolras!  It’s time to go.  If you’re still intent on coming with me, it’s now or never.��� 

Legacies Found (The Untamed):

"…Wei Ying."

As for Wei-qienbai, he had eyes for no one but Hanguang-jun, and he answered in kind.

"…Lan Zhan."

Jingyi was going to *die*.

And omg, there are others, but THAT’S ENOUGH TO BE GETTING ON WITH, YEAH?  XD

Tagging: Anyone who was already tagged above, @enechelon, @dreamer-wisher-liar, @kholran, @mejomonster, @yaaurens, @galauvant (...I can’t seem to @ you?  O_o;;;), @foxofninetales, @highpriestessofjogan, @afk-reading, @bobcatmoran, @fixaidea, @kingesstropolis, @dirtyinfluences, @jadedbirch, @porthos4ever, @humanlighthouse and omg, I’m running out of brain and I know I’m forgetting people.  If you want to do this, please consider yourself tagged!  (Just create your own post when you do it.  ^_^)

[destimushi]

你不知道的黑瞎子的50个秘密50 Secrets You Didn't Know About Hei Xiazi

Translated from the original here. In collaboration with and edited by @traineecryptid! Others: Mystic Nine, Hei Xiazi, Chenpi A Si, Zhang Qishan

1.黑瞎子患有严重的眼疾。

Hei Xiazi has severe eye disease. 

2.黑瞎子蹲过牢。

Hei Xiazi had been to prison. 

3.黑瞎子不认识解雨臣。

Hei Xiazi does not know Xie Yuchen. 

4.黑瞎子不认识黑背老六。

Hei Xiazi does not know Black Back Lao Liu (Liuye/Jiumen’s sixth family).

5.黑瞎子最喜欢的水果是西瓜。

Hei Xiazi's favourite fruit is watermelon. 

6.枪不是黑瞎子的唯一武器，他也用刀 

A gun isn’t Hei Xiazi’s only weapon. He also uses a knife. 

7.黑瞎子一直认为张起灵不简单。

Hei Xiazi thinks there’s more to Zhang Qiling than meets the eye. 

8.黑瞎子觉得吴三省是一个城府极深的老狐狸所以才跟着他干，自保的同时也可以省去很多麻烦。

Hei Xiazi thinks Wu Sanxing is an old fox with great hidden depth and that’s why he follows him. By doing so, he could protect himself and save himself from a lot of trouble at the same time. 

9.黑瞎子觉得吴邪很有趣，像一匹幼狼。

Hei Xiazi thinks Wu Xie is very interesting, like a wolf cub. 

10.黑瞎子是偏执狂。

Hei Xiazi has paranoia.

11.黑瞎子的臂力很强。

Hei Xiazi has great arm strength.

12.黑瞎子的衣柜里的衣服统一都是黑色和白色系的而且款式相近 

All the clothes in Hei Xiazi’s closet are either white or black in similar styles. 

13.黑瞎子有五副备用墨镜，嘘，不准说出去。

Hei Xiazi has five pairs of backup glasses. Shh, don’t tell anyone.

14.黑瞎子去过电影院，就一次，最后还睡着了。

Hei Xiazi has been to the movie theater. Just once. He ended up falling asleep. 

15.黑瞎子不爱吃萝卜。

Hei Xiazi doesn't like carrots. 

16.黑瞎子至今为止都还记着吴三省欠自己蛇沼鬼城行动的报酬。

Hei Xiazi still thinks about the payment that Wu Sanxing owes him for the snake swamp ghost city trip. 

17.黑瞎子家里只有客厅有一盏白炽灯。T

he only light in Hei Xiazi’s house is the single white incandescent light in the living room 

18.黑瞎子其实会缩骨。

Hei Xiazi actually knows the bone shrinking technique[1].

[1] A technique where the person shrinks the space between their joints and sometimes even shifts internal organs to make their body smaller. (Biligame page)

19.黑瞎子不吃狗肉。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t eat dog meat. 

20.黑瞎子下斗必须带手套。

Hei Xiazi must always wear gloves when tomb raiding.

21.黑瞎子会养蛊。

Hei Xiazi knows the fabled practice of curating the most poisonous creature[2].

[2] The practice of making poison that seals several venomous creatures into a jar and letting a larva of a silkworm feed on the body of the survivor. (Wikipedia page)

22.黑瞎子跟张起灵一样没有身份证。

Hei Xiazi, just like Zhang Qiling, does not have a citizenship/identification card. 

23.黑瞎子没有坐过飞机。

Hei Xiazi has never ridden a plane.

24.黑瞎子虽然经常笑，但是并不代表他有耐心。

Even though Hei Xiazi smiles often, that doesn’t mean he has patience. 

25.黑瞎子见过老痒。有什么好奇怪的？老痒能找着哑巴张就能找着他。

Hei Xiazi has met Lao Yang. What’s so weird about that? If Lao Yang can find Mute Zhang, he can find Hei Xiazi. 

26.在黑暗的情况下黑瞎子的耳朵是很敏锐的。

In the darkness, Hei Xiazi’s hearing is very keen.

27.黑瞎子的年纪绝对比他表面上看过去要年长。

Hei Xiazi is older than he looks.

28.如果你有幸摘掉黑瞎子的墨镜，你会发现他笑的时候眼底是没有感情的。

If you’re lucky enough to see Hei Xiazi take off his sunglasses, you’ll notice that when he smiles, there’s no emotion in his eyes. 

29.黑瞎子没去过鬼屋。

Hei Xiazi has never been to a haunted house.

30.黑瞎子是盗墓笔记中第二个少数愿意豁达面对这个残酷世界的那类人。

Hei Xiazi is the second person in DMBJ who is somewhat willing to face this cruel world with an open mind. 

31.黑瞎子杀人不需要犹豫。 

Hei Xiazi can kill without hesitation. 

32.黑瞎子深信以暴制暴，当然动手前他会跟你好好聊聊的。

Hei Xiazi deeply believes that violence begets violence. Of course, before he fights you, he will have a conversation with you.

33.黑瞎子不会缝绣什么的，穿坏的东西都是直接扔掉。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t know how to mend things. Any clothing that rips or breaks gets thrown out. 

34.黑瞎子杀过条子，数量不详。

Hei Xiazi has killed cops. The number is unknown. 

35.黑瞎子参与过特种兵训练，谁也不知道他是怎么混进去的。

Hei Xiazi has participated in special forces training. No one knows how he got in. 

36.黑瞎子脖子上有一跳怪异的项链，不知道详细来历，只知道是一个女人送的，关系不详。

Hei Xiazi wears a weird necklace. It’s origin is unknown, other than that it’s from a woman. Their relationship is unclear.  

37.黑瞎子穿西装也很潇洒，因为他比哑巴张高。

Hei Xiazi looks very handsome in a suit, because he’s taller than Mute Zhang.  

38.黑瞎子精通野外求生技能。

Hei Xiazi has very good wilderness survival skills.

39.除了洗澡黑瞎子的墨镜是不会摘掉的。

Other than bathing, Hei Xiazi does not take off his sunglasses.

40.黑瞎子睁着眼睛睡觉。

Hei Xiazi sleeps with his eyes open.

41.生日这种东西黑瞎子早忘了。

Hei Xiazi has long forgotten things like his birthday. 

42.黑瞎子不喜欢动物。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t like animals. 

43.黑瞎子的文化程度不高。

Hei Xiazi’s education level is not high. 

44.黑瞎子不相信运气。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t believe in luck. 

45.说出来你肯定不相信，黑瞎子的毛笔字写得挺漂亮。

You won’t believe it, but Hei Xiazi’s calligraphy is quite beautiful. 

46.黑瞎子做什么事之前总是会事先给自己留好退路。

Before Hei Xiazi does anything, he always makes sure he has an escape route. 

47.在遇到危险时黑瞎子绝对会做出比阿宁更卑鄙的事，但这不能就把他定义为坏人不是吗？

When faced with danger, Hei Xiazi would definitely do things that are even more ruthless than A Ning. However, you can’t make him a bad person just because of this?

48.黑瞎子知道别人把他看做疯子的时候感觉没什么大��了的，这个世界本来就不正常。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t care that people think he’s crazy. There is nothing normal about this world anyway. 

49.黑瞎子没有追求没有梦想，他拥有的唯一财产是“活着”。

Hei Xiazi doesn’t have any dreams he wants to pursue. The only thing he owns is “staying alive.” 

50.黑瞎子一直很介意明明自己身手跟哑巴张一样好，为什么总是打酱油！

Hei Xiazi is always minded that he is just as skilled as Mute Zhang, but he’s always brushed off and on his own!  

[s1utspeare]

'You're burning up' or 'Do you know how pale you look right now?' with Hei Xiazi and his ducklings (or Heihua of you want to)

HIS DUCKLINGS!!!!! not me sobbing about the ducklings i love them (i'm assuming u mean the sha hai kids and if so HERE YA GO!)

(also these ficlets are now cross-posted to ao3!)

Send me a prompt and some characters and I'll write some whump!

Alright, fine. At this point he's a glorified babysitter. He knows that, because someone needs to look after the three kids that they've somehow adopted into the Jiumen-Adjacent-Wu-Xie-Harem-Squad (Hei Xiazi is part of the "Squad" and nothing else. Especially not the harem. That's everyone else's job), and Wu Xie sure as fuck isn't responsible enough for that, and everyone else is worse. Maybe not Wang Pangzi. He could probably do a good enough job as a babysitter, because he has to look after Wu Xie's stupid ass all the time, but that also means he's got his hands full looking after Wu Xie's stupid ass all the time, and that really is a full-time occupation.

Hei Xiazi had adopted one kid. Maybe two, if you count that time he and Li Cu spent in the desert, but that was more like nannying, because Wu Xie had left his infant to wander around by himself and someone had to keep the kid from getting bitten by snakes, so Hei Xiazi doesn't count him. He has Su Wan, and Su Wan is the only child that he will take full responsibility for. It's why he's putting so much effort into training him; he won't have anyone saying that his kid is the least well-behaved out of the three, though that isn't hard, because Li Cu is like Wu Xie but Feral, and Huo Daofu's brat has apparently learned too well from him, because he's just as much of a bitch.

(Hei Xiazi will call a child a bitch. He absolutely will. Bitchery transcends age, and Yang Hao is only not a bitch to his two best friends, and even that's a mixed bag on the best of days.)

He knows that they aren't kids, really. Except they are. Well, they're teenagers, but Hei Xiazi is old enough that anyone under the age of thirty is practically a baby. They know nothing. None of them. Not a single goddamn thing.

It's what got them into this mess in the first place.

Okay. He won't blame them too much, because really, it's not their fault that their immune systems are weak as shit. Hei Xiazi has centuries of catching illnesses and fighting them off and he's immune to pretty much anything viral at this point. He's even had smallpox, which sucked ass. Now, though, he will never get smallpox again. Neither will the babies, because they're all vaccinated. Hei Xiazi got vaccinated in the way that builds character, i.e. nearly dying.

It had been a lovely family tomb outing, with Wu Xie and Wang Pangzi and Hua-er and Hei Xiazi and all three kids, and then Li Cu had picked up some bacterial infection from a fucking zombie or other form of dead body or something, and given it to the other two, because they all share a tent, and now they’re all sick as hell. And since Hei Xiazi is the only one who can't catch this bitch of a bug, he's playing nursemaid, which is a lot more complicated than he had originally expected, because this disease is unpleasant, to say the least. Huo Daofu, who hadn't come on the trip, is now watching all of the other adults in their quarantine; they think that they’ve prevented them from catching the thing too, but it's too early to tell.

They're all at Wushanju, and Hei Xiazi is with the boys in one half of the house, while the others have been sequestered to the other. This is good, because while the sickness might not have killed Wu Xie, Hei Xiazi would have after the man attempted to come and see the kids for the seventh time after expressly being told no.

(It's times like these especially that Hei Xiazi wishes that Zhang Qiling were still topside. As uncooperative a bastard as he was, he was probably the only one in the world that Wu fucking Xie would listen to unconditionally.)

The sickness is one that Hei Xiazi remembers picking up when he had first started tomb raiding, and it's not even quite an illness, either. It's more like nightmare fuel, where the victim's fever climbs so high that they start hallucinating, pretty badly, but it also does something to the nerves that doesn't allow passing out, so the patient is conscious the entire time, and not happy about it.

The only upside is that it runs its course in a few days, typically, and mostly isn't fatal. The villagers that Hei Xiazi had stayed with when he had it had called it the Waking Sickness, and it had not been fun, so he knows what the kids are dealing with.

They're going on day two right now, which means that there should only be about twelve to sixteen more hours of hallucinations. The sickness had started out as just a fever and shakiness, and Hei Xiazi had recognized the symptoms in time to get everyone back from the tomb, but this was when the illness was the worst, and he was steeling himself to deal with the next few hours of hell.

It had started out with Li Cu shivering even in ninety degree weather, and not from fear. Eventually, he had been shaking so hard that Su Wan had taken to holding him in an attempt to get him to still, but then he’d started jumping at shadows, and then finally, Yang Hao had said, very carefully, “Do you guys see the shadow people too?” 

And then Hei Xiazi had said fuck that, and herded them all back to civiliazation, and banished Wu Xie and all his damn husbands to one side of the house and made a blanket nest for his kids on the other. And they’ve been fairly good with that; he’s only had to deal with Su Wan trying to escape twice, but Yang Hao and Li Cu seem alright with staying in the mound that Hei Xiazi had created. Maybe their fever-addled brains can sense that it’s safe, and they don’t want to try and leave, which is good. Hei Xiazi can keep an eye on them better that way. 

He’s returning from the supplies that Huo Daofu has left outside the wing they’re in, along with a note that says, Everyone’s fine. No one else is sick. Xie Yuchen says hello, which Hei Xiazi knows actually means Get the kids better quick so I can jump your bones, babe. He loves his Hua-er. 

He’s got water bottles and packages of applesauce with straws attached to them, to see if he can get the boys to eat something, but when he returns to where he’d left all of them, he realizes that there’s a much bigger fucking problem to deal with. 

The three all have different ways of dealing with the nightmares, and none of them are really surprising, considering their personalities. Yang Hao’s is probably the most heartbreaking, because he goes quiet, his eyes big and dewy, as he stares at things that no one else can see, tears silently tracking down his face. Hei Xiazi is most worried about him being dehydrated, cause he doesn’t think the kid has stopped crying since they got back to the house, and that’s a lot of waterworks. Not even Wu Xie’s silly intern cries that much (is Kan Jian still an intern? Hei Xiazi doesn’t know). Fortunately, Yang Hao also likes hugs in this state, apparently, so all Hei Xiazi has to do is latch him onto one of the others, preferably Su Wan, and he’ll limpet himself to them until the current nightmare ceases, the dream breaks for just a moment, and then the cycle starts over again.

Li Cu’s reactions would be almost funny if he didn’t sound so terrified. He’s loud and angry, yelling at people that aren’t there, lunging at anything that moves and trying to fight invisible assailants. His voice is going to give out before too long, and Hei Xiazi is almost surprised that it hasn’t already, because the kid is loud as hell. In all honestly, he’s shocked that Yang Hao and Su Wan haven’t shied away from him, but he supposes that whatever they’re seeing in the hallucinations is scarier than a scrawny, twiggy teenager shouting at nothing. Hei Xiazi has found that he’s also protective, and will wrap himself around Yang Hao and snarl if the other teen decides to cling onto him, and snaps at Hei Xiazi whenever he tries to touch Su Wan, which is unpleasant, but Hei Xiazi has dealt with far more feral creatures, himself included. 

(Okay, and maybe he can see why Wu Xie is so distressed that he would try and break free of their self-imposed imprisonment; if he could hear his charge screaming from across the house, there’s very little he wouldn’t do to keep from getting to him.)

Su Wan is the problem child, though Hei Xiazi has tried to keep that very thing from happening. He has no idea why Su Wan reacts the way he does, he just knows that whatever Su Wan is seeing, it causes him to run away. Given that his fever is boiling his brain, he can’t get very far, but that doesn’t mean that Hei Xiazi is spared a small heart attack whenever he comes back and finds his kid missing from the pile. 

Which is where he’s at right now. Yang Hao is pressed as tightly as he can to one side of the blankets, hands wrapped tight in the folds of fabric; Li Cu is half-hanging out of the bundle, too weak to actually get up, but yelling at the wall nonetheless, which would be very threatening if he were any more coherent. But Su Wan, his unfortunate, loveable mishap, is nowhere to be found.

“Damnit,” Hei Xiazi says out loud, quickly scooping Li Cu back into the blankets and pushing him towards Yang Hao, who whimpers as Li Cu’s yelling gets closer to him. Li Cu seems to remember that oh yeah, he has someone to protect, and immediately plants himself in front of Yang Hao, spitting insults at whoever he’s hallucinating right now. Yang Hao grabs onto his shoulder and pulls him closer, and doesn’t seem inclined to let go anytime soon. 

Hei Xiazi will worry about hydrating them in a minute. He has to find Su Wan first. 

“Hey, Su Wan?” he calls. “Xiao Yanjing?” It’s embarrassing, yeah, fuck off Hua-er, but he’d started calling Su Wan that in his head, and had let it slip once the day before, and Su Wan had stopped struggling to escape from him and looked up at Hei Xiazi with luminous eyes, and allowed himself to be led back to bed. Hei Xiazi doesn’t know what feelings he has about that, but they’re warm ones. 

He wanders through the hallways, calling out for his student every so often, and then finally, as he’s passing by one of the guest rooms, he spots movement near the window. 

Su Wan is standing next to it, his hands pressed to the glass as though he’s trying to get out. He’s saying something, mumbling it under his breath over and over again, and Hei Xiazi has to get very close to hear it. 

“Hei-ye,” he’s saying, “Hei-ye, come back. Don’t leave me here.” He looks around, winces, brushes something imaginary from his arms. “It’s dark.” 

Ah shit. Another Gutongjing flashback, then. Fantastic. 

He comes at Su Wan from the side, making sure to speak before he touches him so that hopefully Su Wan won’t be as freaked out, but it doesn’t work. Su Wan still reals back when Hei Xiazi’s arms close around his shoulders. 

“It’s okay, Xiao Yanjing,” he says. “I haven’t left you. You’re not there anymore.” 

Su Wan’s eyes aren’t focused on him. His head lolls over to the window again. “Hei-ye?” 

“Right here, kid,” Hei Xiazi sighs, bringing the back of his palm to Su Wan’s forehead. “Shit, you’re burning up. Still. You need to rest, idiot, not go wandering around Wusahnju. The way Wu Xie keeps this place, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got literal tomb traps lying around here.” 

Su Wan doesn’t give any acknowledgement that he hears him. “I want to get out.” 

“I know,” Hei Xiazi says. “I know.” He gently turns Su Wan around to lead him back to the other two. “Hey, why don’t we go find your friends? I’m sure they’d like to have you back.” 

“Ya Li?” Su Wan mumbles, and then, quicker than Hei Xiazi can catch him (which is really fast, actually, since his reflexes are actually better than anyone else’s on earth—okay, no, he supposes that Zhang Rishan’s would be better. Zhang Qiling’s too, but he’s not technically on the Earth, so Hei Xiazi will happily put himself in second place), he darts in the direction of the courtyard, calling LI Cu’s nickname as he goes. 

“Shit,” Hei Xiazi says, running after him, and he’s still faster than Su Wan, so he’s able to catch up with him and grab him by the arm before he falls and hurts himself. “Su Wan! Stop!” 

Su Wan struggles, his voice breaking into a sob. “Let go! Let go! Ya Li!” He twists, trying to break free, but Hei Xiazi is ready for that, and pulls him back, wrapping his arms around Su Wan’s front to hold him in place. “Ya Li!” 

“Stop,” Hei Xiazi says to him, “Stop, it’s okay. It’s okay.” It takes a few minutes of whispering reassurances, but eventually Su Wan sobs and goes limp in his hold, knees nearly giving out, but Hei Xiazi keeps him upright. 

“That’s it,” he says. “I’ve got you.” He waits for Su Wan to calm down a little bit, then picks him up slightly, making sure his feet are under him at least somewhat before he half-leads, half-carries him back to the bedroom. 

He realizes it’s surprisingly quiet the closer they get, and takes the last few steps in a run, but when they get inside, he realizes that Yang Hao and Li Cu are fine, still there, still breathing. They’re just asleep, Li Cu lying on his back with his arms and legs splayed, and Yang Hao glued to his side, head lying on his arm. They look nice, and peaceful, for once, and Hei Xiazi remembers what the village doctor had said about the Waking Sickness: When they’re able to sleep, the worst is over. 

Sure enough, Su Wan climbs into the blanket mound when Hei Xiazi deposits him there, going to Li Cu’s other side and yawning, blinking up at Hei Xiazi slowly. His cheeks are still bright, and when Hei Xiazi checks his forehead again, he’s still feverish, but for that moment, he’s coherent enough to murmur, “Hei-ye?” 

“Right here,” Hei Xiazi says. “Always here.” 

Su Wan nods, then turns his head so that he’s gazing and Li Cu and Yang Hao. A small smile crosses his face, and then he tucks his nose into Li Cu’s neck, snuffling gently, and goes to sleep. 

Hei Xiazi sighs heavily, sitting on the floor and reaching for one of the water bottles. Fuck the sick ones; he needs to be hydrated if he’s going to keep up with them. 

Still. The worst is over. 

[dinomight]

leave what i’m chasing

or: a double vignette about Liu Sang and family.

Mothers are such tricky things.

Liu Sang always thinks he’s got it down, the repression thing. Quite a simple mechanism of the brain, in that all it requires is a lack of effort. Don’t think about it. Don’t let yourself feel. Keep it in its tiny little corner, and it won’t bother you.

And then Xiao Bai goes and says something like, “I should visit my mom, I could use a hug from her right about now,” and suddenly the corner isn’t enough.

What is it like, to want that? What is it like, to hear the word mom and think warmth, home, comfort?

He wouldn’t know. It’s like a missing limb that he only notices when he tries to use it, when he tries to reach out and want. Suddenly he’s stumbling through open air, grasping at something that just…slips through his fingers. There is no frame for this feeling. Nothing to compare it to. The mother Xiao Bai refers to—not the woman, the concept—doesn’t exist. Not for him.

There was a time, when he was young, when he thought his stepmother fit that role. She was the only kind of mother he’d ever known, after all; his birth mother died before he could even speak, and his father didn’t waste time remarrying. How was he supposed to know that mothers didn’t make the house tremble with their every shift of mood, that mothers didn’t threaten to leave, that mothers didn’t attach conditions to their love?

It took him far too long to realize that. Even longer, to understand it. And it’ll take him a lifetime to accept it.

—

Once, Kan Jian asked if any of them wanted kids. Most of the answers were jokes, Pangzi patting Wu Xie on the back and saying he already had one, Su Nan mime-gagging, Hei Xiazi trying to act out what a tomb raider with a baby on their back would look like.

Liu Sang just took a long sip from his beer and didn’t say a word.

(He thought about his stepmother stepping through the door, the way her mere presence drained any semblance of calm away. He thought about his father slamming a cup down, making the table shake.)

(He thought about anger. The way it sits on his tongue, a vicious beast barely leashed. He thought about the time, a couple weeks before, when he’d had a bad morning and snapped at Pangzi over something stupid, only for a heartbeat to pick up and for Xiao Mei to silently flee the room. He thought about regret, suffocating, like ash in his throat.)

(He thought about his ears. His ears, that got him bought by his shifu and not shipped off to a dozen other places that would’ve ended with him in a shallow grave. His ears, that saved him in that burning house, that told him which direction to crawl when his eyes could barely tell up from down, that always kept him alive to witness the next horror. His ears, that his shifu told him were likely genetic.)

(He thought about a life in his hands. Terribly frail, like the ancient vases he’d seen recovered from tombs and could never bring himself to touch.)

(How unfair, he thought, to never know if it’s out of his reach because he truly doesn’t want it, or if he’s just too scared of the venom in his veins. What an injustice it is.)

(No. If they’d asked him, he would’ve said no. Liu Sang doesn’t want kids.)

title from Class of 2013 by Mitski.

[almighty-an2]

Wu Xie sickness in Reunion vs Restart (Chongqi)

Very obvious spoiler alert on both the series and web novel

Although Wu Xie is sick on both, but the nature of the sickness and how they heal is different. Altho to be fair, a lot of things are different between the book and the series.

Reunion Wu Xie suffered from what looks like lung cancer with only 3-6 months life expectancy.

In the book, he doesn’t have cancer, but he does have severely damaged lungs. He was okay all this time due to the help of Qilin blood clot that he consumed before. But as the effect wore off, so is his ability to withstand poison. Wu Er Bai said, when the effectiveness of the blood clot is gone, all the effect of his past journey will catch up to him. Although later on, he eventually coughed out the blood clot.

Reunion Wu Xie actively seeked out treatment on Thunder City, they (Xiaoge, Pangzi and Hei Xiazi) went there both because of Wu Xie obsession to find Wu Sanxing and to find out cure for his illness. Funnily enough, he actually accidentaly found the cure after falling to a sarcophagus in the middle of a fight.

In the book, Wu Xie is coming to thunder city without the purpose of seeking out treatment. Although he does have suspicion that the other (Xiaoge, Pangzi and Hei Xiazi) lured him there secretly because they are afraid that Wu Xie won’t seek out treatment for his illness. And it seems like they did, because Xiaoge and Pangzi actively tried to shoved him to the sarcophagus, even stripped him down. And Wu Xie is completely clueless as to why they suddenly stripped him down.

Reunion Wu Xie is magically cured after the accidental drowning on the sarcophagus. It’s like poof, and the lung’s scan is suddenly cleared up on cancerous cells.

In the book, he’s not cured. The lung’s scan is still as clouded as ever. But it stopped getting worse. So like, he’ll live. But he could still die, cause he’s not magically cured and his lungs is still damaged to the core. Xiao Bai is kind of protective of people smoking around Wu Xie tho (seems like Xiao Ge too, cause Xiao Bai said that Xiao Ge will shoved the cigarettes on their nostril when he saw them smoking around Wu Xie).

Now, I’m not finished with the novel yet. I just finished with book 2. So I didn’t know if later on the lung condition will still affect him or not. Will update later after I read further 🥰

[hils79]

Hils Watches Misty Creed - Part 1

This was supposed to have been released at the end of October but finally it is here.

I wasn't hugely enamoured with the last movie but I'm always here for my blorbos and maybe this one will address some of the issues I had with the first one.

Okay, let's go!

I forgot these new movies are more horror. So we're starting with what looks like a demon baby

I have a squick about pregnancy anyway so this is going to go well for me

I do love that both movies have started with flashback horror like an episode of Supernatural

Oh, dude, you just abandoned your heavily pregnant wife who may be about to give birth to a demon. This is not going to end well for you.

First scene in the present day and Wu Xie is in trouble and calling for Pangzi to save him *sighs happily in pangxie*

THERE'S MY BOY

Ooh he strong! Holding up a whole coffin by himself to stop Wu Xie going splat. I love this already.

And of course Xiaoge bursts in to help his husbands. God I love all three of them so very much.

Excellent out of context caption there

Wait if Xiaoge could use his special Zhang fingers to punch a whole through the coffin lid to give Wu Xie one of his hairs why doesn't he just make the hole bigger and pull Wu Xie out? Unless there's something else going on beyond 'Wu Xie trapped in coffin'

And then he just ripped the lid off. Why didn't he do that before? Well, it's not DMBJ if there's not plot holes I guess :D

He had a whole coffin plus all of Wu Xie's weight on one shoulder but he's acting like helping Wu Xie stand up takes all of his strength. It's okay, Pangzi. You can admit you just want to keep touching him.

Oh no not more creepy dolls

In case you weren't sure they're a triangle

Wait, what? Oh my god is this an escape room?

IT IS!!! HAHAHA! Incredible! A+ I love this! That is exactly what these idiots would do in an escape room too

Throwaway reference to Xiao Hua there. Love to see it.

Ah hah! So this ties in to the post-credit scene from the last movie. So this is the person Xiao Hua said he was sending to Wu Xie while he adventures in Russia with Hei Xiazi (at least that's where I assume he is)

Xiao Hua's family owes this dude, but he was too busy with his boyfriend so he told him to come and see Wu Xie instead. Xiao Hua isn't even here and I love him.

HAHAHA! God, I love these idiots so much!

Oh shit if Xiaoge feels strongly enough about something that he actually says it out loud then you listen.

I am absolutely losing it over the idea that Xiao Hua apprently has a business running an escape room based on a tomb. He's such a nerd I adore him.

Pangzi is so outraged that Xiao Hua charged them to do the escape room, then billed them for destroying the probs AND they have to go off on an adventure to repay one of Xiao Hua's family debts. I'm sure Words will be had at Pangzi and Xiao Hua's next spa date.

I love that even though Wu Xie is allegedly the brains of their group (did you know he has a degree in architecture?) it's Pangzi who has thought of the practical things that they'll need for a misty environment.

Wait, what happened to Xiaoge's sword? I know he lost the original one during Ultimate Note era but Wu Xie replaced that one.

Ah, okay. Apparently Xiaoge's original sword came from the place they're going so I guess we're ignoring the Ultimate Note replacement so they can find a new one for him here. Who needs consistency when you're NPSS.

I'm losing my mind at 'xiongdi' being subbed as 'mate'. In my head these hunters now all have British English accents.

Is it really Wu Xie if he's not having terrible ideas?

Right, I'm only 20 mins into the movie but I'm at the image limit. Onward to part 2!

[januaryisnotanartist]

KanSang Week Day 07 Victory

Pairing: Kan Jian/Liu Sang (future), Pangzi/Piaopiao (background/established)

Genre: fluff, school festival (canon ish universe) Tropes: getting together, (background?) found family, school festivals, Liu Chang and Waer Liu Sang and Kan Jian: Babysitters extraordinaire  Special spotlight thief Guest Star: Xiao Mei Word Count: 1,400 ish

-

Kan Jian and Liu Sang looked at the mountain of clay before them. Clay was no stranger to either of them, over many years and various dig sites, they'd both become familiar with clay. Digging it, crawling through it, clambering over it.

But this... this was not their expertise.

“It's okay if you aren't any good at making pots,” Xiao Mei said, but even Kan Jian could hear the sadness in her voice.

Three tables over, halfway across the room, another girl looked over at them, a smirk on her face.

“Oh, A-Mei, haven't you started yet?” The tone was saccharine and mocking. “My parents and I are making great progress, you don't want to fall behind and not make the judging.”

Kan Jian leaned down, turning a little to hide his mouth and whispered, “I can totally wreck their pots if you need me to, no one will be able to prove it.”

Xiao Mei shook her head, fists clenching.

“Even if we lose to her, we'll do it fair and square.”

Liu Sang scoffed quietly, “I'm pretty sure that damn Fa- uh, that your dad would be with Kan Jian on this one.” Xiao Mei looked up at him in consideration, but nodded in agreement.

“Mum wouldn't, not over a school festival,” she said at last, “we'll just have to try our best.”

“Right,” Kan Jian agreed readily, but like Xiao Mei, he didn't move to start shaping the clay.

“You know, when Pangzi asked us to go with you today, he only did it because we were the ones available,” Liu Sang said while he rolled up his sleeves and began getting ready to deal with the clay. “But you actually got a bit lucky, I use listening urns in my work, and my teacher actually taught me the art of making them. Allegedly to better appreciate them as well as to know how to find good quality ones... or replace them if I was clumsy enough to break one.”

Xiao Mei looked at Liu Sang with new hope.

“Let me show you what to do?” Liu Sang asked the pair.

-

Xiao Mei hadn't been sure about her dad's friends, she'd been hoping her mum and dad (her awesome new one, not her mean old one) would be able to come with her to the school festival, so they could take part in the family competitions together, but so far her new big brothers were really cool.

They hadn't really come first at anything yet, and she could tell it was annoying Sang-ge, but they were placing second and third in most of the events, so technically they were 'overall' winning.

Xiao Mei wasn't really looking for first place, any placement was fine... as long as it was better than Feifei's. Feifei was the worst, she'd teased Xiao Mei about not having a 'normal family unit' since, well, for as long as they'd known one another.

So beating Feifei wasn't just a personal mission, it was justice, for all non-nuclear families out there.

Also it would be so satisfying.

-

“- which is how you figure out the best angle for the balloons on the fly,” Kan Jian finished, looking away from the special slingshots they were to use as water balloon launchers, to make sure Xiao Mei and Liu Sang understood.

It was the last event of the day, the water balloon fight. Each family unit was to be hidden in an identical cardboard base with a supply of water balloons. The goal was to wreck someone else's base before theirs was destroyed.

It was also their last chance for an Event based First Place.

Xiao Mei looked determined, a fire in her eyes. Liu Sang was watching Kan Jian with approval in his eyes.

“We have ten minutes left to decorate our bases,” Xiao Mei reminded her big brothers, “and to reinforce the cardboard if we want. Should we get started?”

“How are they reinforcing the cardboard?” Kan Jian asked, looking around at the other nearby families.

“By gluing on additional cardboard layers,” Liu Sang told him, a smirk growing on his face, “with wet glue.”

Kan Jian grinned back, “we have wax crayons to colour don't we?” He looked at Xiao Mei, “orders laoban?”

Xiao Mei looked back and forth between the two men, confused at first, then she joined their smiling as she realised what their words meant.

“Colour everything, start with the weakest points, no glue allowed.”

-

Two minutes to go, Liu Sang leaned in close to Xiao Mei.

“Young girl with the blue hair ties,” he murmured, “doesn't like that girl you want to crush, what do you think about an alliance?”

Xiao Mei nodded, “I'll be back in a minute.”

-

The battlefield was a circle of cardboard bases, and theirs was the most colourful one on the field. That was fine, because theirs was also the driest. The wet glue hadn't dried as quickly as people thought it would.

More importantly, Feifei was directly across the circle from Xiao Mei and her brothers. Feifei would be the first to fall.

The starting whistle blew and the air filled with flying waterballoons.

Three flew from their base across the way to Feifei's. Xiao Mei's first shot fell short of the target, dashing across the concrete. She didn't miss her second.

-

Receiving the first place ribbons for the Water balloon fight and the Overall scores, was actually the second best feeling of the day for Xiao Mei. The best was hearing her dad's loud applauding and cheers along side her mum's slightly quieter cheering as Xiao Mei closed her hands around the ribbons.

She waited long enough to be polite before leaving the award area and flinging herself at her dad for a hug. Her mother was still sore from her accident and recover, even after two months.

“We won,” she told her parents, aware they'd seen the award ceremony.

“Good job,” her mum told her, pressing a kiss to Xiao Mei's hair.

“Glad those two didn't hold you back,” her dad said cheekily.

Liu Sang scoffed from nearby and proceeded to ignore Pangzi.

Xiao Mei started telling her parents all about the day, several sentences in she paused and turned to call her brothers over to help, but stopped at the sight of them.

They both looked nervous and on edge. Xiao Mei and her parents, when they noticed what had caught her attention, shamelessly eavesdropped.

“-and I was just wondering if you wanted to get ice cream with me, later,” Liu Sang asked, his hands worrying the hem of his shirt.

Kan Jian looked devastated, a slow dawning of grief emerging across his face.

Liu Sang didn't move much, but somehow he looked like a turtle retreating into its shell, “it's fine if you don't want t-”

“I'm lactose intolerant,” Kan Jian cut Liu Sang off.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Liu Sang's brows scrunched, “they have dairy free at the place I wanted to go, if that...” Liu Sang looked tentative, too scared to be hopeful, but Kan Jian smiled and nodded.

“Awesome, I'd be happy to go with you, I just have to be careful cause not all the ice cream places do dairy free.”

Liu Sang steeled himself.

“Just to be clear, I'm asking you out on a date. With me.”

Kan Jian laughed and reached out to take Liu Sang's hand, “oh good, I was hoping that was what was going on here.”

Quietly Pangzi cheered and told his girlfriend and daughter, “just won a bet with Xiazi, he reckoned it would take them another few months to work it all out... just lost a bet with Xiao Bai, I thought it would be Kan Jian to make the first move.”

“You bet on us?!”

“Don't use your hearing to eavesdrop on good and decent people!”

“Eh? Who's decent? Not you!”

Kan Jian used Liu Sang's distraction to thread his and Liu Sang's fingers together.

“My boyfriend,” Kan Jian said, barely audible, just to test it out. Liu Sang heard it of course and flushed bright red.

Piaopiao laughed, leaning against Pangzi, “alright, how about you boys come with us for a victory dinner? To celebrate your win, and as thanks for being here on our behalf.”

Xiao Mei and Kan Jian cheered, Liu Sang... continued to blush.