#that he cares/acknowledges that ppl don't recognize him

[cursed-spirit-manipulation]

kenjaku is probably like. Genuinely super racist. 1 old as shit 2 doesn't really give a shit about other people at all and you might say "oh then they don't care about people Equally! So not racist" And no, not how that works when they're a fucked up opportunist, eg they're a misogynist for the cursed womb shit even if they didn't care abt the victim being a woman, they still took advantage of oppressive structures that target women (esp women who are victims and/or perceived as promiscuous bc. Like. How do you think they were able to abuse that woman? It was bc her family didn't care about her) so what I'm saying is they're racist

[rey-jake-therapist]

Some ppl met Miv and asked her about Celeborn and they're using her acknowledgement that Galadriel loves him and that she won't leave him like how antis use Charlie's interviews. I honestly don't get what else they expect her to say like 'no, she hates him and won't stay with him?' Even though I don't care for the ship, even I can see how weird and out of character it would be. I hope they're not being creepy about it like those tweets made Charlie uncomfortable. Anyways, I feel like we mostly talk about Sauron and his goals for S3 with distributing the rings but I'm kind of worried about what they could have Galadriel do in S3 where she doesn't get sidelined like in S2. But I fear that that's where it's heading. But then I remembered in S1 there was a scene where Galadriel had that vision of the giant tide in numeanor and I really hope that it wasn't just a vision. Do you think it's likely they will put her in numeanor?

I mean of course Galadriel will love Celeborn when he comes back and won't leave him for Sauron. No one believes that 🤣 Asking Morfydd about a character who may not even be in TROP before season 4 or 5 is really weird. She probably doesn't know more about what happens in season 3 than Charlie does ! Do these people believe that actors write the script ?

I'm a bit worried for Galadriel's role as well. The positive thing is that if I'm not wrong, the books don't say much about Galadriel's whereabouts during this period where Sauron distributed the rings, so the writers can invent something from scratch. Sauron wounded her with Morgoth's crown and probably bound her to him as well, which will probably have concrete repercussions on Galadriel's character and Haladriel in general.

It's speculated that the Numenor arc may start in season 3.... Charlie seems to hope it will, anyway. It was already revealed that Pharazon recognized Halbrand in the Palantir, and he certainly realized he was Sauron. We know that Pharazon and Sauron will meet, that is a given.

Galadriel saw the drowning of Numenor happening in the Palantir, which as we saw with Elendil and Pharazon, shows only a future that the person who looks gets to actually live what they saw in there. Maybe Galadriel will want to chase Sauron in Numenor, and Pharazon will capture her as well because he blames her for bringing Sauron into his city and believes that she's still Sauron's companion ?

Let's also not forget that season 2 ended with the threat of Sauron possibly attacking Lindon. He may want to get the Elves rings and why not, Galadriel herself since he's at it....

Anyway I'm hopeful she won't be sidelined again.

[brown-spider]

How do you think Sunny would interact with Hobie then? Like I know realistically they would probably try to avoid the hell out him but if not, would they get along over their shared disillusionment with the government and hatred of cops? I just like to think any encounter with Hobie by anyone had massive potential to be hilarious at some point.

Hobie would hate their ass.

Sunny is one of those ppl that punks hate most- the type who recognizes and acknowledges all the issues with their government but chooses not to do anything because it's safer, and they don't believe any Real Change will come from them as an individual stepping up anyways. The "too scared to care and too scared to try" type.

Like, hating cops and looking the other way when they see someone stealing food is one thing, but on a systematic level, he and Sunny aren't on the same page at all. Sunny would be like "its all going to turn out the same in the end, why put yourself through the extra stress?" Sunny is more focused on making a difference on the handful of ppl in their immediate lives and ppl they encounter day-by-day than The Whole System, because that feels more realistic.

Outside of politics I feel like they wouldn't have chemistry. Hobie seems like the type that would be friends with people Sunny knows, but the two of them never talk directly all that much cuz they're on wildly different spectrums of extrovert vs introvert. Also i can't stress enough that he's British and Sunny has no fucking idea what he's saying 💀

[venusruledmuse]

Notes to self as I try to get over my crush:

1. I am okay with people missing out on me.

2. At some point, ur just too exhausted and fed up to care anymore?! He grown, he can do whatever he wants! Release ur grip girl and free urself of the stressing the worrying the overthinking... like at some point its too much I can find someone else who doesn't stress me out like u do and can give me a worry free lifestyle

3. Let fate handle it. As with all things that are true and from the heart, if it's meant to be, fate will find a way. It's more beautiful and poetic that way anyway!

4. Focus on ur skincare routine and studies instead!!! Get ur glow up, get ur value up, get ur price up ✨️

5. What would Choi Hyeseon (from Singles Inferno) do? Acknowledge ur self worth like her and be willing to walk away from anyone!

6. "I can do it with a broken heart."

7. Sometimes... it's better to be the person that is just out of reach.

8. At the end of the day, I care about him, I want him to be happy, and I don't want him to be hurt.

9. Become a shrouded mystery.

10. Pretend ur a heartbroken Chinese empress in ancient times drinking away her sorrows.

11. Sad to see you destroy the image I had of you in my head. So disappointed and disheartening to realize he's not the sweet, strong, self assured, smart, emotionally mature, gentle, thoughtful, lowkey, dignified, introverted guy u had fallen for, who u trusted, who made u feel safe. Such a unique grief im feeling. Grieving the bond we had. Grieving the guy I thought I knew, and the pathetic insecure self centered petty average guy that replaced him. The guy who was my friend. Maybe that guy only lives in my head. Maybe I made him up.

12. Find the humor and lightness in the situation. Like if u didn't have feelings for him, if u didnt care so much about what he does, if u didnt care that he liked u, u would think: is he okay?????? Maybe he needs space...

13. Absence and inspiring/engaging negative emotions of loss.

14. You r a catch, u have the credentials to back it up, you are desirable, you r not constantly just there for him no matter what. never forget ur worth. Put yourself on the pedestal. They prove themselves to you. They are winning or losing out on you. Not the other way around. If ur love is unconditional, then it won't inspire a feeling of losing/winning for him.

15. The moment he makes u feel disrespected and unsafe and anxious. Take away access. Remove yourself from the equation. Friendship privileges (caring) r gone. Take the power back. It's okay if he wants another girl! Wish him the best! He can go! Hope he finds and chases what he's looking for out there!

16. This post below. You are his heart and soul. His core values exemplified. Everywhere else is hollow.

17. He lost: my care, my dynamic aura/humor, the vibe I give ppl, his motivation, and my vision of him. He can't find the universe I created for him (the music, the food, the art) anywhere else. Ya can't fix me into a box. I'm just that girl!

18. Read it ends with us again... both u and lily bloom deserve atlas, not ryle!!!

19. Ickkkkkk

20. He wants a superficial blonde sorority girl, he can go have her! I know who I am and I love my world and my universe my life and being me so that ain't stressing me out. He can go stress out another girl

21. High value women like go aeishin, hyeseon make choices out of self love and have a strong core. They have rules for themselves and others and they do not bend those rules. They stand on business. They command respect and so attraction.

22. Recognize when someone is toxic for ur heart and health. Pulling away from him is an act of self love.

23. Disillusioned with his image of me. I'm smart, I'm talented!!! There's a toxic pattern where he likes a girl that feeds his ego, that is a people pleaser, that is a hopeless romantic, that centers their life around him. Why does he never compliment her talents, her skills, her capabilities? I want respect and admiration, not attachment.

25. "If u don't speak up for yourself, they'll think ur stupid." -sza's grandma

I'm nobody's fool. Im not going to be remembered as someone who wasted their time on him, just for him to say he is no longer attracted. Im not going to have a boy crazy reputation. Im not there to stroke his ego, for him to get off on my devotion. I'm not a footnote in his life as an epic hero. It's my dreams. My goals. My wants. MY loves. I'm the main character. I'm the it girl. I'm that bitch.

26. Affirmation: I don't want him, I am out of his league, he is not up to my standards. His petty trivial games is giving insecure NPC... its below me. A girl destined for big things don't have time for the small shit to get her down... let the players of stupid games win stupid prizes, I've got bigger missions

27. Hated the way he described the women in his life. "She was alright at soccer" everything was always in relation to him, he never described the women as goated, the only girl he truly respected seemed unattainable to him.

28. I love myself and my life and a man should fit into it, and enhance and upgrade my lifestyle, not make it worse. I should not be contouring myself to fit into his life. I will not blow up my life to be with him.

29. I'm that girl. My vibe is addictive. He craves my attention. Call me dust the way you will return back to me.

30. Remember yumi's cells.

31. He said "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" omfg....... he's literally so fcking shallow and toxic.

32. He said a girl was into him but he wasn't into her.... literally all girls r just ego boosts to him

33. I'm tired of exhausting myself over him. He likes girls chasing after him but I will not be blowing up his phone.

34. Crazy how easy I fall out of love when I lose respect for someone.

35. U r allowed to outgrow ppl.

36. This boy made u so sad u went home in the middle of the work day. Like ... be ur own protective older sister. Connecting with him is self sabotage girl.

37. He hurt me so bad that he singlehandedly cured my people pleasing tendencies, be unapologetic in my decisions and doing what's best for me, helped me stand on business, learn to say no and be inaccessible/unavailable to people, be more strict and disciplined with myself, value my own feelings/needs, stopped always being on the losing end, care less about what people think of me, stop chasing love from ppl and instead seek respect, prioritized my own personal appointments, and focus on my competence, inner confidence, and internal validation. I gotta treat myself well and not tolerate bare minimum and bs from myself in order to not tolerate that shit from others. From now on I am high maintenance.

38. What a privilege to be a character that experiences my love and attention, to be seen from my point of view. What a privilege to get to have the sue experience. Not everyone gets it.

39. "It's only because you love them. You are their source of power."

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Hypothesis: Jimin actually doesn't care about popularity awards.

Not in a malicious sense but he would rather focus on achievements rather have some derivation from his actual work, not from the work of others that just want to prove they support the 'superior' celeb. If he had nothing else going on or if ppl completely hound him about it maybe he'll respond but I think he's choosing to focus on his work/efforts. One of the first lessons ppl should learn when they join the workforce is knowing to not invest your labors in areas that wouldn't have any effect on the outcome. Popularity awards are completely up to the whims of the voters and an individual can put forth an insane amount of effort without any results. I'd prefer that he focus on work that brings him personal and professional fulfillment.

Again just a hypothesis, probably with a little too much of my person views on how the world should work. I guess I don't get why everyone's acting so butthurt over the whole thing. Unless they were under the impression that their labors would result in anything beyond assignment of an award - there is no obligation on the recipient to respond or acknowledge in any specific way.

Hi anon,

Interesting. I see your point and it makes sense considering Jimin's work ethic but also I think about how Jimin has always been incredibly thankful to the fans for their support and that leads me to believe he wouldn't take that award lightly.

I'm not sure what my thoughts are on this hypothesis. I need to think about it.

But yeah, I feel like people felt they would get recognized since the TMA stuff was arduous.

I've learned to not expect anything from anyone anymore and that makes me much happier and pleasantly surprised when we do get something nice.

Thank you for sharing.

[caatws]

If anyone got mad at you for calling Rocket a Raccoon they're not even worth taking seriously. Part of his arc was accepting he is in fact a Raccoon. How are people who supposedly love him missing that? He literally says at one point that his name is Rocket Raccoon.

Maybe it's because I've never been a huge Gunn fanatic the way some guardians fans are but I'm not understanding why people can't see he's not perfect or infallible when it comes to his writing. Gamora's called a green whore in vol 1 for no good reason. There's a whole running gag about Mantis being ugly in vol 2 that isn't all that funny or respectful to her character. Drax has his intelligence mocked for laughs in vol 3. I saw mcu fans up in arms about the Russo's making Thor a joke because of his drinking in EG but they think Gunn's writing is perfect. Many people were livid Natasha didn't get a funeral and only had her team talk once by the lake after she died. Gamora got no funeral, no moment of any kind from her team and nobody but Peter is sad she died. I love gotg but it's delusional to act like that's not a flaw.

I question if people watched vol 1 and 2 or IW before Gamora died. She had the second largest amount of screen time in all 3 movies. In vol 3 she has less screentime than all the main characters. In vol 1 and 2 she's the female lead with decent influence on the story. In vol 3 she's a side character with minimal development and her arc is understanding why her murdered counterpart had a relationship with Peter. In vol 1 the characters grow to care about her and this continues in vol 2 with multiple relationships built up. In vol 3 only Peter cares about 2018 Gamora and only Nebula cares about 2014 Gamora. In vol 1 and 2 Gamora was recognized as a prominent member of the Guardians of the Galaxy and you could find her included in a solid amount of merch as time went on. In vol 3 she's not made a member of the team, after the movie a lot of people don't consider her a hero and trying to find merch for her is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

This is only some of the issues and it's more than enough evidence Gamora's writing is not anywhere near the level it once was and her character is far less important in vol 3 than any other movie she's appeared in. If people want to argue with you they're lying through their teeth. Stay strong my friend!

Part of his arc was accepting he is in fact a Raccoon.

no bc literally i couldn't stop thinking abt this lmfaoooo

but yeah literally, gunn's writing when it came to the female and poc characters has always been....well it's Something. and it culminated in gamora's total demotion from co-lead of the franchise to estranged supporting character in vol 3.

i think what ppl are not realizing is that i would still have this same critique had any of the other characters esp the white and/or male ones had taken center stage like rocket did in vol 3 because of what had happened to gamora in iw/eg. like that was something that needed to be fixed or at the very least Addressed in some way, and whether it was rocket or drax or kraglin or whoever taking the lead in vol 3, i still would've been disappointed and frustrated by the lack of acknowledgement of the events of iw/eg (for Everyone too, not even with just what happened to gamora) and the lack of effort to at least give gamora her family back. and idk how many times i have to keep saying it, but just bc something is made to be in character doesn't make it a good story or ending for the character. like if gunn had written some grand tale where rocket just fucked off and left the gotg but made it in character would all these ppl be happy with that? doubt it!

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

"ive just seen a lot of ppl #call izaya a sociopath but like. as a Comical Exaggeration #or just as an insult to be disproven" re: ur tags

i don't really go here (drrr!!), but i came across ur blog through a series of events that led me to an ASPD Izaya analysis post that u are connected to. somehow. i dont fucking know man. but like anyways i 100% agree, like have u seen him. Look At Him. i only watched like the first season and havent touched anything else but i can say with 100% certainty That Guy Has ASPD. okay this ask isnt about me telling you i agree with you and others who have that correct opinion, but just wanted to say it.

anyways GODDDD, your tags... i feel that so hard. theres a character im a big ASPD truther for (and its like so obvious. lzaya level obvious), who ALSO gets called "sOcioPatH" and "psYchOPatH" as an insult or joke. and every time im like... "well... no, but actually yes"

no because i can tell you're calling him that to demonize him and seeing as that you are unironically using "sociopath", you obviously dont actually know much about ASPD. but yes because he has ASPD!

AH THE ANALYSIS POST! i can explain: i'm connected to it because the person who wrote it is my fiance, and i'm the mentioned Person With ASPD that he mentions he knows :P

also since im curious: what character?

and i on god HATE it when people use the term "sociopath" unironically its like. im using it because i have aspd, and oftentimes i use it as a derogatory term to draw attention to how derogatory it is. like. i know why i'm using it. why are You using it!

and oftentimes its because they deadass think "sociopathy" is still an actual Thing You Can Be Medically Recognized As and like. bestie. it IS clear u know literally nothing! its like theyre SO CLOSE to getting that the character has aspd but dont actually know HOW aspd works outside of a bullshit stereotype so its only said as a joke and not treated seriously foe actual analysis

im gonna make a comparison here BUT BEFORE ANYONE BUSTS MY BALLS: I AM AUTISTIC. I CAN MAKE THIS COMPARISON. AND EVEN IF I WASN'T, IT'S NOT A THOUGHTCRIME TO IDENTIFY OBVIOUS PATTERNS.

it's like i looked at a very obviously autistic character and kept calling them retarded as a joke. and even though i knew that derogatory term used to refer to an actual thing people have, i refuse to acknowledge the existence of ACTUAL autistic people's ACTUAL experience with autism and how it differs from the VERY derogatory and insulting stereotype of "a retard" and just. kept calling that character retarded because i thought that people with those traits deserved it or something

and then i tagged the post "#tw autism" as like an extra kick in the nuts

but GOD i feel that last paragraph SO hard. its clear ppl notice those traits in him but dont know enough (and dont care to go learn) about the actual disorder. so peoples' real suffering and social ostracization is just a punchline. because "mental health acceptance" ALWAYS has this fucking asterisk of "not you, though" when it comes to (among other things) aspd

its a cruel world out there for aspd blorbo truthers 😔 not only do we have to deal with bullshit ass takes, our backs constantly hurt from the weight of carrying the Correct Opinions 😔😔

[fite-club]

The only reason ur "sorry" abt misgendering a transfem just because they don't have the same beliefs as you and because they understand that trans men have their own form of oppression as well is because ur rightfully being called out for it and people are clearly becoming more wary of u now.

The post u reblogged abt how "there are trans men have never experienced transphobia which means none of them have a right to speak" is very telling, it's so clear with u reblogging that post that u think that a minority not directly receiving hatred for being a minority makes them invalid, you should be fighting for minorities NOT receiving the hatred they are currently receiving, not invalidating those who haven't experienced discrimination before even if they are minorities.

You claim to protect transfems and trans ppl in general but yet u see ppl u classify as "tme" as less trans than anyone else. Also btw, as an intersex person, "tme/tma" labels are extremely minimizing for us, it is just another gender binary, the same y'all claim to want to erase.

Ur not a real trans ally if u start infighting in the community, ur not a real trans ally if u pick and choose which trans people to actually support.

actually the only reason i’m sorry about saying clem-mp3 wasn’t transfem was because i made them show me their legal id. without saying too much, i’m still not entirely convinced that it’s not just a recently updated id with preferred transmasc gender markers, but i *did* promise that if they showed me documents that i’d backpedal. so i did. that is, in fact, the one and only time i have ever insisted that a “transfem” (sorry again for using quotes but whatever the hell “transfemmasc” means) wasn’t transfem. if people are acting like this is some sort of pattern, it’s not. conveniently, the other transmascs i’ve spoken to who were not transfem but were pretending to be transfem never come up in these conversations.

if i’m being called out right now, it’s by people i already have blocked, and therefore i don’t really give a shit what those guys are saying.

that’s also completely and entirely not what that post says. i know “piss on the poor website” gets thrown around by you lot constantly but seriously that’s just straight up not at all what that post says. maybe try reading it again but say the words out loud one at a time

i’m not even going to attempt to convince you that i’m not treating tme people as “lesser” or “less trans” just because i’m acknowledging that tme people aren’t as affected by transmisogyny as tma people, because you clearly just don’t care about transmisogyny and i’m wasting my time in trying to get you to recognize how fucked that is. and, btw, just because you SAY “tme/tma is a binary that doesn’t include the experiences of intersex people” doesn’t make it true. tme and tma intersex people exist. you just refuse to understand that because it makes it easier for you to shut down conversations about transmisogyny and transmasc privilege.

also when have i once ever claimed to protect transfems? lmao. i’m not white-knighting trans women i’m just talking shit. you’re not an ally if you get mad at transmascs who care more about transmisogyny than you. like. get fucking real. you are someone starting and contributing to infighting when you say stuff like “the terms tme/tma are intersexist” and when you go into a trans man’s ask box anonymously to tell him he’s a piece of shit for acknowledging that trans women are more oppressed than trans men. you are “picking and choosing which trans people to support” in this exact message but something tells me that hypocrisy is going to fly right over your little head

[aemiron-main-backup]

why are some people so staunchly against acknowledging mike’s mental health? or also often against the idea of him being gay specifically? (it’s often the same ppl who have issues with these things) well. I’m gonna do a full big post about this to demonstrate more in-depth how we can see that mike’s character has been set up this way (i also talk about it in this post) but for now, here’s some thoughts:

imo it’s because mike's character is set up in a way where a.) his struggle is meant to be largely invisible to viewers on the surface, even to bylers (ie we see him walk off a cliff but many viewers just say 'oh that was just to save dustin" and doesnt think any further abt the scene) and b.) mike is a character who forces people to rethink their own preconceived biases and stereotypes. he's gay but he's not identical to will. he’s struggling mentally but not in an identical way to max or will. but people are looking at him through a will lens or through a 'stereotypes of gay men' lens or any other lens and so then they try and deny his sexuality because it doesn't align with their lens/what they think gay men are like. the same goes for his mental health struggles. he's not struggling in the way that people expect, his struggles arent identical to will's or other characters' and so people dont see it/refuse to see it. people are so weird about acknowledging mike's issues because acknowledging mike's issues means acknowledging the fact that there's very likely invisible people just like mike in their own life that they've overlooked and dimissed. people don't like acknowledging gay mike or mike's mental health because it often means having to acknowledge their own biases about sexuality and mental health. people are so bizarrely defensive and angry about the idea of other people discussing mike’s mental health or gayness bc every time they see those posts, they have to see something that forced them to rethink their biased notions about sexuality and mental health struggles. everyone has biases- but it’s a matter of to what extent you use those biases to try and dismiss others.

people are weird about mike because they're falling for the exact trap that the duffers have set up with his character- a trap that forces many people to a.) be face to face with their own biases and b.) puts them in the same position as other characters, into a position of ignoring mike's issues, they don't like to acknowledge mike's mental health or the reasons why it deteriorated because people like THEM are the reason it deteriorated- people who dismiss others' struggles, people who put their own biases first, people who just see mike’s value as being relative to other characters, who refuse to see things through a Mike Lens, it puts those viewers into the shoes of people like ted, the people who aren't active bigots but whose silence and refusal to see mike is slowly killing him. people who won't acknowledge something like mike's food issues and dismiss it until it's killing him. like i said in that writeup i linked, mike has to die in s5 because even walking off a cliff wasnt enough for these people to recognize his suicidality/the way he's sacrificed himself for others. they won't fucking care until he is DEAD. because he is invisible to them. just like how Karen for example doesn't really seem to care about mike until a moment of crisis (ie will's death), some viewers/bylers dont either, they dont give a shit about mike unless it's a crisis, unless they NEED HIM, unless they need him to solve a problem or to be a love interest to another character. nothing will be good enough for these people until mike is fucking dead. the duffers have been throwing his struggle in our faces and they KNOW that people are going to deny it because mike is a character who lends himself to being denied and dismissed in that regard.

mike is a character who is going to be a wakeup call for the people who insist that their socially isolated, depressed, not eating friend is just 'like that' and are waiting until it gets worse to intervene. but it never actually gets “bad enough” in that person’s eyes for them to ever actually intervene, not until said friend is dead.

mike is a wakeup call for the people who focus so much on the people who are splashing that they dont see the ones that are drowning. the ones who go “oh that person can’t be drowning- there’s no splashing, and I know what drowning looks like, the way I see drowning looks like This, not like That, he’s not struggling in the Right Way to be drowning!”

why are some people so staunchly against acknowledging mike’s mental health? or also often against the idea of him being gay specifically? (it’s often the same ppl who have issues with these things) well. I’m gonna do a full big post about this to demonstrate more in-depth how we can see that mike’s character has been set up this way (i also talk about it in this post) but for now, here’s some thoughts:

imo it’s because mike’s character is set up in a way where a.) his struggle is meant to be largely invisible to viewers on the surface, even to bylers (ie we see him walk off a cliff but many viewers just say ‘oh that was just to save dustin" and doesnt think any further abt the scene) and b.) mike is a character who forces people to rethink their own preconceived biases and stereotypes. he’s gay but he’s not identical to will. he’s struggling mentally but not in an identical way to max or will. but people are looking at him through a will lens or through a 'stereotypes of gay men’ lens or any other lens and so then they try and deny his sexuality because it doesn’t align with their lens/what they think gay men are like. the same goes for his mental health struggles. he’s not struggling in the way that people expect, his struggles arent identical to will’s or other characters’ and so people dont see it/refuse to see it. people are so weird about acknowledging mike’s issues because acknowledging mike’s issues means acknowledging the fact that there’s very likely invisible people just like mike in their own life that they’ve overlooked and dimissed. people don’t like acknowledging gay mike or mike’s mental health because it often means having to acknowledge their own biases about sexuality and mental health. people are so bizarrely defensive and angry about the idea of other people discussing mike’s mental health or gayness bc every time they see those posts, they have to see something that forced them to rethink their biased notions about sexuality and mental health struggles. everyone has biases- but it’s a matter of to what extent you use those biases to try and dismiss others.

people are weird about mike because they’re falling for the exact trap that the duffers have set up with his character- a trap that forces many people to a.) be face to face with their own biases and b.) puts them in the same position as other characters, into a position of ignoring mike’s issues, they don’t like to acknowledge mike’s mental health or the reasons why it deteriorated because people like THEM are the reason it deteriorated- people who dismiss others’ struggles, people who put their own biases first, people who just see mike’s value as being relative to other characters, who refuse to see things through a Mike Lens, it puts those viewers into the shoes of people like ted, the people who aren’t active bigots but whose silence and refusal to see mike is slowly killing him. people who won’t acknowledge something like mike’s food issues and dismiss it until it’s killing him. like i said in that writeup i linked, mike has to die in s5 because even walking off a cliff wasnt enough for these people to recognize his suicidality/the way he’s sacrificed himself for others. they won’t fucking care until he is DEAD. because he is invisible to them. just like how Karen for example doesn’t really seem to care about mike until a moment of crisis (ie will’s death), some viewers/bylers dont either, they dont give a shit about mike unless it’s a crisis, unless they NEED HIM, unless they need him to solve a problem or to be a love interest to another character. nothing will be good enough for these people until mike is fucking dead. the duffers have been throwing his struggle in our faces and they KNOW that people are going to deny it because mike is a character who lends himself to being denied and dismissed in that regard.

mike is a character who is going to be a wakeup call for the people who insist that their socially isolated, depressed, not eating friend is just 'like that’ and are waiting until it gets worse to intervene. but it never actually gets “bad enough” in that person’s eyes for them to ever actually intervene, not until said friend is dead.

mike is a wakeup call for the people who focus so much on the people who are splashing that they dont see the ones that are drowning. the ones who go “oh that person can’t be drowning- there’s no splashing, and I know what drowning looks like, the way I see drowning looks like This, not like That, he’s not struggling in the Right Way to be drowning!”



[sweetescapeartist]

VEGETA STANS CAN BE WILD

(As a disclamer, this does not apply to all Vegeta stans. Cause I know some Vegeta stans that recognize his faults & his developments. They're prett cool ppl. Those stans are not the ones I'm referring to. I'm referring to the super entitled stans who try to force everyone else to "bow down" to them.)

There's a guy on Twitter who keeps DM-ing me about me being a Vegeta hater, calling me toxic, says I'm slandering Vegeta and other stuff. I just wonder why is he trying so hard to force a so called "Vegeta hater" into becoming a Vegeta stan.

This is what I bet it actually is... I probably make valid criticisms about Vegeta when he was evil that contradict the lies Vegeta stans try to make everyone believe. So because I point out the reality, the stans get upset and say I'm slandering Vegeta. These Vegeta stans are so delusional and refuse acknowledge Vegeta's development from evil to good. Apparently everything he does was always good in their eyes. If that's the case, then their claim that Vegeta is the most developed DB character is completely invalid & a boldfaced lie.

I find it funny that he says I never say anything positive about Vegeta and yet...

I give Vegeta credit when he does positive things, shows good character development, or when there's just something about the character I like. Even fanart at times (but there's a surplus of that, so why would I draw fanart of him often?)

I bet what the guy who calls me a hater wants me to say is "yes I am a hater" so he can try to "expose" me. But I'm not a Vegeta hater. I only hate the DBS manga continuity Vegeta because he's super selfish and still cares more about surpassing Goku than protecting his family. His character regresses and is trash. The anime version is leagues better.

I hate the fan depiction of Vegeta too because they take away all of Vegeta's development by claiming he was always right and is everything he never was. Even lying about other characters to make Vegeta look better. Just sad really.

But, nowadays I don't even try to argue with these ppl who attempt to force you to praise their favorite character. Show me valid reasons to like them. But most Vegeta stans can't do that without lying to make him or VegeBul look better than what they originally began as & currently are. So my reply to them now is...

Also, I think the real motive behind these ppl (like the Vegeta stans I talk about) is to silence what they view as a threat. And the truth is a threat to their narrative built from lies. So, in order to keep up their lies, they feel they need to silence Krillin fans (& others) who can impact the way the fandom thinks. They are knowingly or unknowingly fear driven. And that fear leads to hatred of a character and fans of said characters.

If these kinds of Vegeta stans can't handle valid criticisms, then they wouldn't be able to live if they were Krillin or K18 fans. Talk about real hate, slander, ect & most of the fandom promotes it. Krillin & K18 fans & stans are some of the strongest willed ppl in the fandom to put up with crap like that all the time. You have to be to deal with this fandom.

[golbrocklovely]

Unpopular opinion, i think fans are really mean towards Sam and there's not such a big reason behind it. He really wants to help people in his own way and just because his way of coming out with a piece of advice or a way to offer some kind of support is just different from Colby's, that doesn't make him less caring than Colby

Also, i don't understand why people hate on his dumb and wise newsletter or whatever u wanna call it because there aren't many influences who take their time to do something like that (i mean starting from scratch and managing to come out with something, cuz forwarding emails is easy afterwards) and also takes time to find things that might come in handy for fans who need that piece of advice. If Sam does this, even if it's a lot of Internet information and his side notes in that email, he did something good, tho unnecessary, a money grabbing brand. But if Colby comes on Snapchat and starts talking about life, he's a role model and he's so amazing and look how nicely he responds to questions and how nicely he speaks. Colby is way too overrated when doing the bare minimum any influencer should do, like staying in touch with fans and talking about mental health and anxiety and problems that don't go away by clapping ur hands. I appreciate a lot the fact that he talks about this stuff, don't get me wrong, especially because Sam and Colby are 2 of a small number of influences who address these important topics, but when they're both trying to answer their fan's questions or even talk about it how well they can, why try to make a difference between them? One might have a certain pov, while the other one has another pov and that should be alright. Any topic should be seen from more povs, it's not just colby who's right, it's not just sam who's right and u can't stay sam hasn't been through depressive episodes and bad anxiety. If he doesn't talk about these things is strictly his choice, but u can't say that he sounds cold and very objective when talking about stuff because "he didn't go through it"

This thing is literally like u and ur best friend giving the same answer in class but ur best friend gets the credit because "she's prettier"

Where i use u, I'm not talking about u 😂💜

this is so fucking long of a response to you. omg, i apparently have a lot of opinions lol

well, i can only speak on my behalf and say how i feel about the advice both boys give.

while i love the boys a lot, i do think sometimes their advice isn't as universal as they make it seem. i think that sometimes their lack of acknowledgement towards their own privilege makes it hard to want to listen to them. bc they give out advice and think that it will work for everyone listening, when that's just not the case. i do think over the years they gotten better at recognizing when their advice can help and where it can't, but they still struggle to realize that (especially for neurodivergent ppl) their advice doesn't go as deep as it could. or that in general, their advice isn't as prolific as they believe it to be.

like with metalife. one of the major problems i had with it is that a lot of their advice was basic or surface level. a lot of their philosophies weren't that deep. hell, most of the things they said on that site they said on the life project first, so they were just repeating themselves at that point. and while it's great that that worked for some ppl, i think it's also fine to admit that it doesn't work for most fans, especially those dealing with deeper issues. but that's okay. i don't expect snc to have the answers to my mental health issues. they aren't professionals. but i think another major problem was just the fact that anytime they gave advice, it was hard to listen to it knowing that they haven't lived a 10th of the life i have. i don't wish for them to struggle like i have, but when they are miles above me in every which way, it's hard to listen.

as for the split between sam and colby, again, i think it has a lot to do with how they sound. and while sam is genuinely trying to help, i do think that sometimes his words don't quite hit the mark. i think sam has a tendency to just repeat what other ppl say just bc that advice worked for him. which is fine, bc realistically none of us have original thoughts anymore lol, but if the advice was barely advice in the first place…. repeating it and putting your own spin on it lessen it's value.

i think there is also this out of touch attitude that sam can get that colby for the most part doesn't have. like, when sam wrote about not living for your vacations in the dumb and wise email….. like, bro, in this economy? you're telling ppl not to live for vacations, as if they can even get one in the first place?????? you just sound out of touch. i get what he was going for, but there are better ways to have said it. and he makes himself more out of touch by looking up to musk and bezos. i get it, you're a business man. but there is no ethical way to make billions of dollars. and then to keep it all??? even worse. and to top all of that off, he never apologizes for upsetting fans. he'll just ignore things until ppl forget or stop talking about it altogether. and while i get that for some situations, doing it all the time doesn't work. it makes it sound like he doesn't want to listen to fans.

also, i just gotta add this in bc i just remembered it, he has this vibe/attitude/whatever of "feel less, work more". he's surrounds himself in so much business but does little to no introspective work. he doesn't allow himself to feel, and would rather be busy all the time. but that doesn't work for anyone, let alone him. and i think that if he would allow himself to either work thru his emotions or just…. feel for once, he might be able to give good advice.

and while i say all of this, i still genuinely love sam. i can love him and still be annoyed at him tho. both things can be true. bc on a basic level, i feel like he does try his best to give the advice he thinks will work, but it comes across a bit pretentious bc he doesn't recognize his own privilege. and his dumb and wise emails, if i even read them in the first place, i just kinda shrug off and go about my day. sometimes i read them and think "oh that's good advice" but for the most part, i don't pay attention to them.

and as for colby, i think (and i know, at least, i feel this way) a lot of ppl relate to him more than they do sam. maybe it's bc sam is extremely closed off so we don't know as much about him as we do colby. maybe for some ppl (even tho they'll never admit it) they just generally find colby more attractive than sam and thus are more likely to listen to him. who knows, who cares. for me, colby comes in with advice that at least shows hesitancy. he outright refuses to answer questions about mental health problems, and tells those that need help to seek professionals. i don't think i've ever heard sam do that. maybe he just ignores those questions and instead goes for ones he thinks he can answers, maybe i just don't remember him doing what colby does. either way, colby tells does that, and then any of the advice he does gives, he follows it up by saying "this may not work for you, but this is what worked for me" and that alone puts him above sam in my book for giving advice.

that hesitancy shows a more realistic side to him than sam. sam comes in with a certain tone that's just very matter-of-factly, that there's no way he's wrong. colby, bc he's cautious about what he says or at least understands that his words may not help, shows that he acknowledges what he saying. he's not just regurgitating something someone else said in a book he read.

and i think as much as colby claims to be private or closed off, he tells a lot more than he shows. i don't think he realizes how much stuff he's actually told fans, and just that bit of vulnerability helps to make a connection. that's why i believe he probably does struggle with depression and, at the very least, anxiety. he's shown us what he's like after being super anxious all day. he's told us the stories of needing to take tums everyday at school. and as for the depression, which i know is just an assumption on my part, there are things he has said in the past (like not being able to leave his couch for weeks on end, like feeling like he was on autopilot, like isolating himself from ppl when he's feeling bad) that makes me believe he has struggled with depression without realizing it bc those are things i went thru as well. and that, i think, helps fans connect with him more. if sam struggles the same way colby does, we wouldn't know bc he doesn't tell us. and i get that he has every right to his privacy and that he doesn't have to tell us that information. but bc colby has, with or without his own knowledge, means ppl connect with him more and want to listen to his advice.

all of this being said, if you don't agree with me, totally fine. you might relate to what sam says more. that's great. if his advice works for you, please listen to it and use it. i'm just saying it doesn't work that way for me, but that's okay. i don't look at sam as less than bc of it. i still love sam. he's just a bit annoying sometimes lol

[jess-the-vampire]

Lilith or Belos for the ask game

Send me a Character

(I'm picking belos because i actually have another request for lilith, so i can do her later)

First impression

As someone who wasn't really into s1, i say with high praise that belos was the first character i actually felt intrigued by in the entire show.

He's got a good design, a great voice, and outside of like his weird dumbness with lilith he's pretty solid.

Honestly i was worried s2 would find a way to make him worse, or more boring, since it would've been easy to make him fall into the usual tropes.

Impression now

underrated, 2nd favorite character, the fandom sleeps on him constantly and i hope it stops moving forward.

so no belos improved in s2 and i'm so thankful for that, i appreciate a lot of the directions with him, his writing, he's so well written and not enough people appreciate it.

even if the twist being implied with him seems obvious, it's so interesting that i could not care any less about it being obvious or not.

i could talk about him all day, he's so entertaining to watch and i want him in more episodes so badly. He gives me so many mixed feelings all the time and it's great.

why is there no belos merch, i demand merch of the stupid evil overlord.

Favorite moment

Belos has yet to have a ton of moments but out of what we have i like his scenes with hunter a lot, his relationship with hunter is interesting because while it is toxic.....it also does come off like belos does care for hunter to a degree, like it doesn't feel like their relationship lacks ANY care.

Those scenes are just...well written tbh, because there's many ways to look at them.

Idea for a story

I still like projects that explore belos in different ways, like as a good leader, or a better parent to hunter, or even just as a regular guy with no power at all. Projects like this acknowledge fans recognize he's not an entirely black and white character and he has complexity to him worth exploring and i appreciate it.

Even if we didn't get belos not being a dick to hunter, exploring their dynamic in a more healthy way is still great to see in fanwork.

Unpopular opinion

I think most of the fandom, especially when it comes to writing belos, don't really understand him well.

I think people focus far too much on him lashing out and all the physical stuff, and while belos can show anger and lash out, that's like.....not his character?

i see so many comics and stories rely on injuring hunter for plot purposes or to get an emotional reaction from the reader and sure, your project, do whatever....i just want it to be acknowledged this isn't actually belos's character in canon.

Here, listen.

Belos, is the disappointed dad of disney villians.

He only uses violence either when he is protecting himself, or feel words alone is not making his point across, but violence is never really usually his FIRST option when it comes to getting ppl to do what he wants.

Belos plays on people's insecurities, when hunter or lilith screw up his response is to scold them like children who misbehaved and make them feel bad for screwing up, and threaten them with the burden of failure and losing stuff that matters to them....because they screwed up.

Hunter does appear to be scared of injury, but it’s clear his fears especially involve his own self worth and not being loved far MORE then that, and that’s the spot belos prefers to hit because that’s far more effective.

Not to mention hunter’s love for him and want to make him happy.

Belos wants you to want to help him, he relies on people LIKIING him and wanting to please and make him happy. This man does not need violence, because he's great at convincing others to do things for him out of love, pride, ect, ect

Sure, he's killed ppl, but he didn't exactly become a leader from taking over via war or a fight, he won through his WORDS. Belos is more bark then bite, he only bites when he deems necessary or is actually unable to help it seemingly.

I just think more people pay attention to the small moments of physical abuse, and never pay nearly enough attention to everything else that makes his character so good.

And there’s more then this but this alone bothers me sometimes because it takes away from why i like belos in the first place as an antagonist, and as a character.

he’s got so many complex layers to him, but he always gets reduced to being a angry violent dude and that’s just not his character and removes what i like most about him.

Favorite relationship

i mean, his and hunter’s because that’s basically his best one atm

it’s good in many ways

especially because it’s very arguable that belos does love and care about hunter, even if it’s in a very unhealthy and toxic way.

i think it’s easy to say belos doesn’t care about hunter at all, but i genuinely think if hunter had died belos would’ve actually been pissed, i just don’t get the impression hunter means completely nothing to him despite the manipulation.

their relationship isn’t healthy, but i don’t think it’s devoid of any attachment either.

the implication of belos maybe cloning his own brother, who he most likely lost, def implies some kinda weird attachment or else i’d wonder why he’d pick his brother for this process in the first place.

Favorite headcanon

That he’s constantly sweating in his full garb

i mean, he’s wearing 3? layers of clothing, and a mask and hood, with all that hair, in a throne room of fire.

he should be sweating to death wearing that.

[esther-dot]

Honestly I don't understand why ppl are assuming all Sansa stans also love or defend Cersei though 😅. I am a Sansa stan but I genuinely don't care about Cersei at all. I am sure there are more ppl like me who feel the same. Not all of us stan same set of characters. I loved Lena's acting in GOT which made show Cersei much more interesting to me than book Cersei but I am not a fan of her, even as a villain.

That being said, the way Sansa & Cersei stans talk about Cersei & the way hound lovers talk about Hound seems completely different to me as Sansa fan. Ppl who stan both Sansa & Cersei don't write metas about how Cersei treated Sansa gently, claim Cersei abusing Sansa was alright bcs she was also victim of abuse, wish for Cersei to become Sansa's loving step mom at the end of series after Sansa forgives her or think Cersei is on redemption arc😭. Most only focus on Cersei as an individual character bcs she is a POV who has a lot of other stuff going on in her arc apart from Sansa, unlike hound who is a tertiary character & doesn't have much going on, except whatever we get to know about him from his interaction with main characters like Sansa, Arya etc. So as a Sansa fans of course we will talk about him in the context of Sansa.

In asoiaf fandom, ppl either think he is just a misunderstood soul with heart of gold & read his interaction with 12 year old kid as erotic or else still think he is a misunderstood soul with heart of gold but consider him perfect baby sitter/protector of 12 year old kid he tried to rape 🤷‍♂️. If there are ppl who recognize Hound was abusive to Sansa/don't ship S@ns@n & still love/sympathise with him then I have never come across them so far unfortunately.

So basically apart from Sansa/Jonsa fandom, majority of ppl have absolutely loved his character for years bcs no part of fandom wants to acknowledge Sansa was a victim of his abuse. Show whitewashed him so much that even among local audience he was fan favorite. There are metas calling Hound a byronic hero and what not. It seems he has more stans than he has haters ( which is exactly opposite of Sansa btw 😂). Even ppl outside Sansa fandom who acknowledge LF, Tyrion as her abusers leave out Hound's name even to this day. It's only the ppl (read Sansa fandom) that treat Sansa as a main character & try to analyze her interaction with others by considering Sansa as a main POV & protagonist call him out for his abusive behavior.

(in reference to this ask)

Sansa fans/Jonsas likely get lumped in with Cersei fans because we (overall) don't have that passionate desire to watch Cersei be humiliated/suffer the way the rest of the fandom does. Even if we aren't defending her, I think you can feel a difference in how we view her. That probably annoys people.

I did say a bit ago that Cersei was my favorite of Sansa's villains, and I reblog gifsets of her, but I think it isn't about me/any of us being Cersei fans really, it's just that, the only way Sans@n shippers can push back against what we're saying about the Hound is by calling me/us hypocrites, seeing as what we say about their fav consists of direct quotes from the books. They can love him, but his actions and words are damning.

I agree about the show fans loving him though. I was surprised by how many people cared about Clegane bowl, and I know a lot of them also really liked the Hound's scenes with Arya, so I didn't want to say there weren't non-Sans@n fans, but those people weren't interested in the Hound's trauma either. The only people who I've seen talk about it always do so in conjunction with explaining away his actions in regards to Sansa. Even if they aren't doing it for shipping purposes, they are doing it to try to alter his villain status which is so weird to me because, it isn't weird or bad to enjoy villains? Particularly in this series in which the author really wants you to see good and bad in his characters? The point isn't to allow one aspect to eclipse the other, Martin really wants us to have to deal with the pros and the cons. I find Cersei’s love for her kids very sympathetic even if she and Joffrey are evil. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I guess you're right that this must go back to the idea that Sansa isn't a main character, so having a Sansa-centric take on other characters/events really doesn't make sense to people. It doesn't bother me that every character has fans, that every villain has fans, I just don't really care about this villain, and I do care about how he hurt Sansa. That seems like a totally rational stance to me. Clearly, it doesn’t appear so to others.

[autumn-foxfire]

I've seen people bring up the 'good' victim vs 'bad' victim rhethoric and how we choose who is worthy of compassion because of that (e.g. villains aren't). But... don't they do that with Hawks, too? When ppl say that it's not Shiggy's fault he became like this but demand Hawks be an adult and make his own choices... when they want redemption and compassion for the LoV but suffering and punishment for Hawks?

Yes they do and it’s both hilarious and frustrating. 

Shigaraki, for example, should be excused for his actions of mass murder and planning terrorism because he was groomed by All for One, meanwhile Hawks, who was also groomed by the HPSC, should have been able to “see sense” and make his own choices and thus should be punished for what he did (which was protecting the others from Twice but they don’t like to hear about that :p).

The only people who bring up the “good” and “bad” victim are the villain stans themselves, really. Most hero or neutral stans recognize that victims are just that, victims, and whether they get redeemed or saved depends on their own actions. Most acknowledge that the redemption of a person is a two-way street (and in fact we’ve saw that in canon, with Hawks offering to help Twice and being rejected by him).

The people who say Hawks should be punished are the people who are upset one of their favourites died. They don’t care about the context of the fight or Hawks own situation which is extremely similar to the villains. They just want to take their anger out at Hawks.

Double standards plague this fandom, sadly :/

[7-oh-ta1]

Like Taichi's what, 16 or 17? And he appears like this kid who's just really shallow, he just joins theater because he wants a bunch of girls attention, he especially wants a girlfriend. The problem is he's so loud, obnoxious, and childish that they turn a blind eye on him because we all know women only like the ☆ Cool ☆ type (jk not true Sakyo can kiss my ass but weak ppl like strong ones yknow so mc is all over him since she has the personality of a potato) BUT is that really the reason girls don't like him?

We learn through his portrait that Taichi has always felt like a side character in his own life. He never was interesting enough to hold anyone's attention. All throughout elementary school he never had any friends or close bonds. The worst part is that he put so much effort into making himself interesting. When there was a fad he would do his best to become the very best at it or the picture of fashion, but it was never enough. He was either too late or simply ignored. He was on TV once, a minor role in the background, but all of his classmates saw it and for once he was the center of attention, for the first time people cared about him that weren't obligated to. He felt like he actually had friends.

And then, just like that, he disappeared from the light again. Just like that, no one cared about him anymore after the hype faded. After that moment, he had experienced something he had never experienced before; the feeling of being needed and wanted, of being accepted by his peers. That's a feeling that in a day and age when "stop caring what everyone else thinks!" is shoved down our throats that we repress it. We're always not allowed to crave attention or validation or we're desperate and disgusting.

But Taichi's still just a kid. He's not some grown adult playing at popularity. He's a kid. And kids need attention and validation. He's older now than he was when he first ever recieved validation from his peers. He dyes his hair bright red. He acts loudly and obnoxiously and childishly to garner attention -- even negative attention is attention. He still doesn't have any friends. No close bonds to speak of. He's hyper, and friendly with everyone. He's described constantly like a dog in game, eager to please anyone and everyone.

But oh my god. Once I learned his backstory I could tell immediately oh he's severely depressed. He has such little self worth, as evidenced by letting himself be walked all over when he joined the God Troupe, and the way he looked when he opened up to Omi?

The way Omi handled it? It wasn't just about the betrayal. He's emotionally and mentally drained, he's horribly depressed but in a more realistic, unromanticized way. The game never shoves a sign in your face saying, "HE'S DEPRESSED FOLKS" and I appreciate that. Because most of the time you see Taichi, he's his usual upbeat self. Making jokes and talking about girls. But if you look literally a second longer, or at his responses when he is once again hit in the face with the fact that if he wants to be good at anything he has to work twice as hard as anyone else would (especially compared to his troupemate, Banri, whose good at everything) and even if he did put all the work into it, he would never be acknowledged anyway. He has no reason to believe his efforts would be acknowledged. They never have been. It's a sad reality, but it's his life, and when he realized that, he LITERALLY STARTS CRYING OR FALLS SILENT because he just doesn't know how much more he can take. Taichi is uhhhh depressed y'all!!!!! In his street conversations with Tenma, HE EVEN RECOGNIZES THEIR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR ON THE STREET AND THAT'S HIS ONLY FRIEND BEFORE THE MANKAI COMPANY.

Depression doesn't always look like a skinny white girl crying and hurting herself because she doesn't think she's skinny enough. Sometimes depression is an Asian boy smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. It's not always an outcast with black hair and dark clothes. It can be bright colors and pop music. You literally never know what someone's going through and Taichi is an extremely important and good example of what depression is like from the outside looking in. Even if you've been depressed or are currently depressed it doesn't make you all-knowing. I went into A3 expecting it to be like Obey Me, just be cute boys to coax you into spending money on their gacha cards. It is so much more.

[yourmoonmomma]

How can I overcome the guilt of being a bad communicator when im angry? I’ve been told I come off passive aggressive. im just in my head a lot and thinking of a respectful way to react. Other people view it as childish for not communicating my feelings instantly. Its hard for me to know what im feeling and why and i just feel like thats for me to figure out BEFORE I bring an issue to someone. For context i met this guy and I feel like we both moved too fast out of lust. He was going through alot (idk why i always attract ppl at this stage in their life) He lost a family member, and just got out of a relationship. He said the relationship was dead long before it was over but he was still working through things within himself because of it. He said he still felt emotionally available, but i’m realizing now when he still had a lot to work on he was removing the romance aspect of that.. which i didnt understand at the time and asked twice because I felt confused. So I let him know I dont want anything casual/FWB, and he said he didnt either. We’d hang out and he’d be like “we’re on a date” and it felt manipulative once I really started to think about it. Why use that language if we arent actually building on something? After we were intimate with eachother he said “i wouldnt fall in love with me right now. I just dont have the capacity to receive/give love romantically how i normally would” i didnt say anything then because he was being honest and vulnerable but it hurt. I felt manipulated. Probably manipulated myself into thinking something good could come from this. I dont have many experiences with good/honest men. Even though that is the bare minimum.. I wanted to hold on because i felt like i deserved to be loved, but also recognized he cant.. and i just feel like he had just as much responsibility to leave me alone knowing that. I’m also holding myself accountable because so did I. I left something at his house and went to go get it. I was so passive aggressive, told him nothing was wrong, tried to walk away from him after getting my stuff. I thought it would be best to just ghost him. I already caught feelings and it’d hurt too much if he chose to gaslight me to my face. I didnt want to break down in front of him. He called me once i got to my car and cursed at me.. i was so triggered i brought everything i was feeling to his attention in an accusatory way and i feel so much guilt because i feel like maybe if i wasnt so emotional about the situation he would’ve heard me out. I just felt like he could’ve been more sensitive and understanding to how i reacted especially because I previously explained i’ve been through emotionally/sexual abuse. He called me selfish, told me we’re done and its all my fault, and didn’t even acknowledge my explanation for reacting that way. I apologized a few days later once I cooled off but he ignored it, told me if i had more grace he’d have more empathy..and blocked me. Then he went on twitter ranting about “weird women” and it hurt. He knew i would see it. I dont think i’d ever rekindle anything with him. Im not sure if i dodged a bullet or let my anxiety get the best of me. I’m dealing with a lot of guilt for how it ended even though i tried to rectify things, and I think we both could’ve handled eachother better or maybe i am selfish..? Regardless how can I move on from the guilt of how it ended and him in general? Should I block him back

Firstly, ive learnt there's a lot of power in "i care about you, so I need to step away from this situation. I don't want to speak out of anger, so I'm taking 30 mins to figure out what's going on for me so we can talk about this properly." That's what I try to say when I'm angry! Then I step out or go for a drive or have a shower. It calms me down, and gives me the space to figure out what's happening for me and how to express my anger properly, as well as letting the other person know I'm not giving them the cold shoulder or something!

Secondly, it sounds like he needs therapy, as do you. You both had a lot going on, and clearly still do have a lot going on! Therapy can help you work through these feelings and learn how to navigate these situations, as well as teach you what you truly deserve in romantic or sexual partners.

Thirdly, focus on yourself. Block him back if it makes you feel better, sure! But try to work through the feelings of fixing the situation. That wont actually fix it. You cant redo what was done or said, and it's very clear that you two weren't compatible and wanted different things!! Focus on yourself, and healing yourself 💗