#that he can't talk with the gems
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I've been thinking a lot lately
ref to the quote under the cut
under the cut for maybe some people that would like to try and guess *shruggs*
#fanart#my art#sketch#crk#crk fanart#shadow milk cookie#cookie run fanart#I'm literally wasting my phone's battery by playing the ep again but I can't help it#I love the music in there especially in that one scene right before PV is awakened it's so... interesting#I've also been thinking about how this quote should probably fit sm as well and I just like how it sounds#back when I first read the AMA I didn't know English very well and I won't say I know it well now but at least I can talk and read it bette#and the way it sounds makes me think every time#I do like ep's ending but some of the other scenes caught my attention more like sm's curiosity about the soul gem being his downfall#corrupted or not he's still a Fount of Knowledge and that's an interesting detail as Vanilla did the same with trying to figure sm out late#before being awakened too! like those too ARE two sides of the same coin in sense that truly fits their soulstone#but in ep 8 specifically it shines the brightest as we see both get more serious in it getting new sprites and all#anyway I've just been thinking#crk is like a meditation thing for me as I don't expect anything from me drawing it#isat is a bit overwhelming everytime I post anything and I have no idea how much is it my skill and how much is it isat being a small fando#but going in dissapointed beforehand means it can't dissapoint you twice! so I win this one#writing all that took me more effort than sketching and putting up the alphabet just to be extremely close to the norm#artists on tumblr#digital art
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CATERRRR!'???!?!?? OH MY GODDDDDDDDD???¿"*·?¿"???¿"?^!!?????!! I KNEW HE WOULD BE THE NEXT SSR CARD FOR THE DIASOMNIA BOOK, I KNEWWWWW, MY CATER CARD SENSES WERE TINGLING WITH THIS ONE!!!!
HE.,, WHEN THE.... WHEN HE... WHEN.. HE'S..... AUGH WHEN HE HE WHEN. WHEN HE,, HE,,,,,,,,, THE OUTFIT????? THE BRAIDS???? THE THEORY ABOUT HIM BEING THE PREVIOUS DORM LEADER IS FINALLY CONFIRMED????????? HELP I'M GOING INSANE OVER HERE I NEED HIM TO COME HOMEEE UAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💞💕💖💞💕
#MY GEMS WILL BE SO GONE AFTER THIS WHAT#I STILL NEED HIS NEW BDAY CARD I CAN'T GO BROKE ON GEMS NOW 😭😭#speaking of that..... I'm so sorry for the person I'll become in February#I'm SO ready for hair down Cater 2.0#BITING BRICKS AND SHAKING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE I NEED TO SEE HIMMM#LIKE. CAN YOU IMAGINE HE SHOWS UP WITH NATURAL FRECKLES LIKE IN ROOK'S NEW BDAY CARD????? I'D DIE RAAAAAAAA---#Udi talks
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Pac: I wish I had a really nice background story for my- why I'm here. But you know, Felps just crashed the ship and I'm stuck! Fit: You've got an interesting history though, Pac! I mean, look at you escaping that prison! Like, that was not easy for you to do. [...] You've told me lots of stories about yourself and Mike's adventures. You've got a very interesting backstory. Pac: Thank you Fit, thank you. I'm glad to hear that you think it's cool. Fit: I mean– the cannibalism part, that sucks, but it is– It's cool! It's cool.
People keep wondering when Pac's going to tell Fit how he lost his leg, but during their date last week, Fit implied that their characters already had this discussion! Although this could've been an OOC part of their conversation, they've referenced this specific part of Pac's lore in past streams (this is just the most explicit example we've had so far).
[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
–
Pac: I wish I had a really nice- um, background story - background story for my- why I'm here. But you know, Felps just crashed the ship and I'm stuck!
Fit: [Chuckles] Well no- you've got an interesting history though, Pac! I mean, look at you escaping that prison! Like, that was not easy for you to do.
Pac: ...No, yeah, you're right.
Fit: You know, and you've been- you have- you've told me lots of stories about yourself and Mike's adventures, like– You've got a very interesting backstory.
Pac: Thank you Fit, thank you. I'm glad to hear that you think it's cool.
Fit: I mean, I mean– the cannibalism part, I mean, that sucks, yeah, but it is– It's cool! It's cool.
Pac: Yeah, right? Yeah- that's- that's not a good part, right? Yeah, I- ugh, yeah, it's a– [He takes a deep breath] Yeah. It's ok.
Fit: Y-yeah, yeah...
Pac: It's ok.
#Hideduo#Pactw#FitMC#QSMP#FitPac#January 9 2024#I was like ''???'' when I didn't see anyone else talking about this but tbf a LOT happened that day#So this is just me dusting dirt off this gem of lore and polishing it before presenting it to the community for re-inspection#<- can you tell I'm writing this in the early AMs#I'm falling asleep at my desk#Q#Anyways. Fit is so lucky Pac's got... interesting taste in men#''Cool trauma bro!'' are you INSANE#I can't remember how chat reacted but I was screaming#lmfaooo#Pac and Fit are so awkward and I find that hopelessly charming#Even if it makes me want to hide my face in my hands and scream#frickin. ''cool trauma bro'' FitMC you're so lucky he loves you#ALSO has anyone else noticed Pac almost always looks down at his leg whenever they bring up the topic of what happened to him in prison?#It's such a small little character trait but I LOVE it#The attention to detail!!! I love it!!!!#Pac's such a good roleplayer
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Etho: lately I've been to yours (Gem's) base more than my own
Etho: i just heard that (toggle sprint) is what Gem does so I wanted to do it too
He's so down bad brooooo!!!!!!!
#i can't with his voice whenever he talks to Gem immmmmmmmmm#also when they said bye bye but then Etho just straight up continued talking and now they're just#continuing to hang out 😭😭#he's so clingy#life updates#gemtho
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I just realized that my last post was gonna talk about how Gem is displaying actual bad behavior(i feel like a daycare teacher everytime I type out "bad behavior"...) by trying to turn everyone against Pearl and Impulse. but I totally forgot that! in my rant and ramble about Scott's stupid little silly allyship(???) with the person that wants two(aka more then half) of his teammates dead,,,, that man,,, intrigues me so...
Anyways! By Scott saying that he's trying not to enable bad behavior he's basically letting Gem's actual bad behavior fall unnoticed. He's trying to clean up Pearl's, at this point, very small mess while actively ignoring that there's a way bigger mess that's also sentient AND TRYING TO KILL HIS TEAMMATES(AKA PEARL!?!?!?).
anyways. Gem is showing some real mean girls type shit <3
#can't believe gem would be the bully in a 80's highschool based movie NOOOO!!!!#/lh(lightheard) and /silly and also maybe /hj(half-joking) ?#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#wild life spoilers#life series#life series spoilers#characters only#NOT CC'S!! those guys are doin great!!! I love it!! <- GOING INSANE!!!#geminitay#scott smajor#not tagging pearl despite her being the catalyst for this rant and ramble </3#she's not mentioned more in this post...#impulse isn't mentioned as much either because I am STILL ONLY 4 MINUTES INTO THIS EPISODE?!?!?! he's shows up about right now.#so i haven't seen scott talk to him as much :'3
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is gemstuck sollux a fusion? :0
WHAT A FITTING ASK I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF DRAWING THESE GUYS!!!
yes, yes he is.
#chris doodles#homestuck#gemstuck#hs#sollux captor#i'm obsessed with them#was talking with a friend and we have their fucking entire story and vibe built out#in an episode like jailbreak#rather than how sapphire was kinda distraught and ruby was panicked to find her#bixbite and maxixe are both collectively like “i need to get out NOW before (other one) does because i REFUSE TO LET HIM HOLD IT ABOVE ME”#“HE CAN'T ESCAPE FIRST HE'LL HOLD THAT OVER ME FOREVER”#when they both escape the screen does a split screen and we see them running to try and find each other desperately#when they do#they rush at each other calling out each other's names#slamming into each other with something half between a headbut and a hug#one mutters to the other “i saw you first” the other says “i missed you” just as quietly#holding each other's gems as they touch foreheads#and theN THEY FUSE BACK TOGETHER!!!#he has this moment where he stands there and blinks#relishing in the moment#before summoning his visor and flicking it down like “alriight. back iin fuckiing buii2ne22”#stronger than you but its blackrom#instead of fighting jasper he fights eridan because fef and eridan are kinda the first antagonists to the group#and it gives SOOO much background for what happens with erisol later (i have a whole story for that fusion planned in my head)#anyways holy fuck#yeah im insane ask me more about them
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thoughts on wild life gemtho?
(or even limited life gem-as-cleo gemtho? thats a deep cut)
they are my KRYPTONITE. etho trying to kill her/lure her into traps over and over.... gem evading them every single time.... etho still being considered part of the family after All That. i love them so so so much and i am constantly torn between the mindsets of Nobody Gets Them Like I Do and I Wish More People Talked About Them
#wild life main ship forever and ever though will always be gemjoel....#MY FAVS no one gets them like i do#and i fear i can't speak on limited life gemtho because i have not seen Either of their perspectives. but im sure if i did i would go insan#i love the way gem makes fun of him and the way he reacts i think it's so cutesy#gemtho is always <333#nya talks#my asks#gemtho
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My favorite thing is when people are having a conversation and something wild happens around them but they just go back to talking like nothing ever happened
Headphone Warning: the audio is super loud for some reason idk why but turn your volume wayyyyyy down
I think this season has broken them
#'COME HERE I WANT YOU'#'JIMMY ARE YOU OKAY???'#'GEM HE'S GONE MENTAL'#'CAN'T RIGHT NOW THE SKY IS PURPLE'#'...anyways-'#also the three who 'go back to talking like nothing happened' are discussing the best method of throwing themselves off a tower#secret life spoilers#secret life#secret life smp#life series#trafficblr#statistics
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So SL!Jimmy how are the new arrivals settling in i hope everyone is doing well
-Void
******
#trafficblr#asks#traffic series#//The new arrivals?//#//Gem and Lizzie have both weird void stuff going on//#//I don't want to ask//#//the rest seem...fine?//#//It's probably the shock//#//I tried talking to Martyn//#//But I can't find him despite multiple people saying that they have seen him//#//It's like he's avoiding me//
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//Quick sketch of the result I got from this wheel earlier. Deeply hilarious that out of all the gems Lambda got assigned out of that generator, it had to be a Sapphire LMAO
#//will i probably line and color this? yeah#//maybe not now but at some point i will#//honestly really funny that he got a somewhat important gem but ofc i gave him botched future vision because that would be well#//really funny GBDHSFBGHN#//his future vision is 50/50 but it's more like the vision he sees has the possibility to happen but he doesn't know if it will#//no he can't do anything to make sure that prediction comes true#//he probably only has one ruby bodyguard and it makes him feel awkward. it's probably even more awkward when he tries to talk to them-#//-in an actual conversation and they get nervous about it#//oh right! he's a brown sapphire btw#//still short though that's just a him thing regardless of verse fgbdhfbgh#backup log {ooc}
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thought about this thing for a while
it was extremely interesting to just analyze myself and get like a tier list in my head
#draw a character you like#fanart#my art#sketch#shadow milk cookie#luocha#lapis lazuli#shigaraki tomura#nagito komaeda#flowey#first one is simple - see other characters and the silly room comics and it'll explain itself also I'm embarassed to admit it a bit#like people would prooobably expect isat related stuff but isat is basically already gone from my brain in that sense#I do like drawing characters and the style is still extremely easy for me to work with#but like.... I'm not feeling like this is more than this??#like Loop is still in the silly room but only for so long before I get them out or just make them like a cat of the room#to be fair they're allll cats there in a way#Luocha was my to-go character ever since getting him after exams in 2023 and I can't find a character that better worked in that#Lapis is specifically pre-crystal gem one as I kind of dislike her new design but *shruggs* it's still nice#just not the one that left impression on me that's all#Tomura and Flowey are like The Characters of this blog AND of my drawing journey I love them a bit too much#still not the insane fan but my friends know just HOW MUCH I talked about them and both were in my life for years#I'd say Bill Cipher fits there too as a trio but sadly I was out of places and he's not a guilty fave he's the OG fave#the fave to rule them all and one of the two I still have good time returning to as well - other one is Twilight Sparkle#she didn't fit here too again too many in all-time faves sadly#Nagito is here bc I didn't know what even counted as a “guilty fave” in my list#so I chose him as a character for the list bc Kokichi is too... nothing in my head like he has more stories#but I don't even care about his trial and I played through Nagito's one and actually did a lot to get his Island ending too#I love how you can see - all of them have a pattern like being blue or yellow and then there's Nagito#Tomura counts as blue even though he's more purple and wears black and red in the finale in my read he's in MVA outfit still and will be#tenko shimura
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weird urge to play through thieves in time again even tho i know it will just make me angry >:(
#it's frustrating because like. gold nuggets of p solid sly gameplay was peppered in amongst the excessive mini games and boring boss fights#but even then its marred by sly's physics feeling “off”#can't quite explain it but jumping and landing feels Not Right. like he is made of helium but also magnetised to the floor#and there were some good mechanics!! the collectable shit and unlockables were really solid#liked being able to look around the safe house. little details like sly and bentley playing ping pong. that was nice.#i could've put up with the excessive load times and patchy gameplay. they were not the fatal flaw#og trilogy had it's fair share of minigame based gameplay and the odd dud boss battle#the unforgivable parts are the story and the dialog (and to a lesser extent the massive downgrade in cutscene art style)#i cannot be doing with the incessant obnoxious unfunny one liners#id have to mute it... the gems of decent sly/bentley banter are too few and far between to be worth the annoyance#the story just fucks itself straight out the gate by starting off w totally nerfing sly's arc in 3#and that's before you get to the penelope twist. been talked about ad nauseum but it makes the whole story make no fuckin sense.#there's a ton to say abt this... it's p much all already been said but im just still mad about it ten years on lol
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Me : the recent drama CD had everyone in it except Seiji, don't ask me why or I'll cry !!!
My friend : I don't need to ask you why since the answer is simple. It was because of you, you cursed him and that's the fate of anyone you fall deeply with so I'm not surprised anymore :)
Me : .......!!!
My friend : please don't love who I love too, don't curse them ~
Me : How very rude of you !!!!
#the moment I realize I can't defend myself on this one ......#even when I stop caring or hate something they always get the best treatment :/#what's the meaning of this ???#don't ask why she said that ....#it's not my fault people don't realize the true gems and value of things ...#they're just blind#plus Seiji a very busy person ... he can't fit here ... and this is about the future something he can't talk about at all#so it isn't about me okay .. not because he was my most loved one ....
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Can't afford art school?
After seeing post like this 👇
And this gem 👇
As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.
Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.
📺Here is my list:
Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)
Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)
Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)
BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)
Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)
Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)
SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)
Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)
Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)
Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)
Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)
Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)
Pikat (art advice and critiques)
Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)
Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)
Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)
Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.
📚Here is my list:
The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.
📝As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.
For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.
💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.
Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )
Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)
Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)
PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
Krita (Free)
mypaint (free)
FireAlpaca (free)
Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)
Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)
IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)
Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)
NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.
So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.
I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.
Hope this was helpful and have a great day.
"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"
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Hi! I love your work and this is my first time requesting.. so please ignore if not interested! ♡
the roles are reversed and you are their favorite character and the LADS boys are the player! That’s all I hope you have a good day/night!~ 💗
When They're The MC- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: slight suggestive content below otherwise fluff ! a/n: hihi anonnie ! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ thank you so much for requesting this was such a cute request (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) i hope this was alright and if it wasn't pretend it doesnt exist ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) otherwise i hope to see you again soon anonnie ! enjoy reading ! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
Xavier:
Xavier is the type of player to listen to your secret times or tender moments and fall asleep listening to your voice. He likes to imagine you’re right beside him before he falls into his peaceful slumber.
However he does get hard listening to your suggestive audio or scenes that play out.
Spends most of his time grinding out materials for your memories so your character is strong when he reaches end game. Almost has your DeepSpace Trial finished and your affinity level maxed.
Ignores all the calls and text messages of the other main leads except yours.
When he runs out of content for you in the game, he would find solitude on watching edits or reading fanfics of you until the game finally updates its lore for you. Sometimes he'll replay the kindle moments of his favorite cards of you, which is literally all of them.
Zayne:
Nobody expected Zayne to be the type to play this game and at first, neither did he. But he downloaded the game out of curiosity and ended up playing until he reached the end game.
He has your affinity almost maxed out while the rest of the other leads are lower level. He would know all of your lore and has read all of your anecdotes without skipping them for the gems.
Uses the quality time to keep track of his studies but he can’t help but often glance at his screen and find you glancing back at him as well.
He has the Aurum Pass Premium and saves all of his diamonds for your upcoming banners. Does not even bother checking any of the other main leads in the game unless the banner included you
He ONLY plays this game in his room or whenever he's alone. Even though he has his headphones in, he can't help but look around to make sure nobody heard any of your suggestive sounds that sounded like a breathy moan. His ears would turn so red and he can't help but find his hand sliding down his pants
Rafayel:
The type of player that took hours customizing his character to make sure it looks exactly like him. He spends a lot of time with his character and yours in the photo booth. He tries to do a lot of glitches so it looks like you guys are kissing or hugging or him hitting it from the back.
The type that never lets you have a turn at the claw machine. If you managed to have a turn first, he’s IMMEDIATELY requesting to have the next turn. Yes, he thinks your pout is cute whenever you don’t get the plushie but he is NOT wasting any affinity points.
He would use all of his daily emojis just to talk to you and pokes you a lot in the cafe until you get annoyed.
The type to make the most beautiful fanart of you and make the most entertaining edits of you on social media. The type to freak out when he hears your solo banner is coming. He’s literally kicking his feet and rolling around in his bed in excitement
Sylus:
Sylus wasn’t interested in the game at first until your trailer kept popping up and out of curiosity and interest in your character, he decided to try it.
He became the BIGGEST spender when it comes to only your character. He would have all your cards maxed out from the levels and to the protocores. Each card he has of you would be ranked up to level 3 and most of your five stars are awakened. He has all your outfits and all of your poses.
However he would have the biggest frown on his face when he loses his pity the first couple of pulls. That’s not going to stop him until he has all your memories.
He is the type to tease your character by touching you a lot in the cafe to the point you're crossing your arms with a pout and your cheeks are flushed.
Spends a while in the photobooth to stare at your chest or you characters butt. Shamelessly tries to do a couple dirty glitches and the thought of you being real wouldn't leave his mind
Bonus: They all hate Lemonette.
#i hate lemonette#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#xavier lads#zayne lads#rafayel lads#sylus lads#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deep space#love and deepspace fic#lads x you#lads x reader
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!season 1

Viktor is, you've clearly observed, insecure of himself.
Quite valiantly, due to some looming social norm or personal feeling, he tries to hide it. But in moments like these, such an act becomes impossible. Try as he might, desperately at times, when he's pressed against you in the warm water, your fingers over his skin, your fingers in his hair, his failure is palpable.
"Are you okay?" You murmur into the nape of his neck, his back against your chest. The water threatens with gentle churns to spill over the bathtub.
He turns his head to press a kiss against your wrist.
"More than," he says, voice quiet but firm, "I just feel, sometimes," and he hums, as though forming an adequate description of his emotions were the hardest task on the planet. Viktor, your genius scientist, hesitant not to innovate, to change the world with his research, no. He's hesitant only to make sure he says the right thing to you.
"Like I'm too good for you?" You ask, catching his eye. By the gentle look you know that's what he means. He faces away again, nods in a vaguely ashamed way.
How, you've always wondered, can you truly change someone's perspective? When words don't seem to persuade, when actions bring only fleeting relief, what can you do?
"It's irrational, I know, some... flaw of the mind. You don't need to keep reassuring my senselessness." He leans into your touch, takes your free hand into his, soap suds bubbling between your fingers.
"Sometimes you talk about yourself like you're a machine, you know." You muse. He gives a half-hearted laugh.
"Not a well functioning one."
Are words or actions worth more in this game of convincing? Does he feel it deeper when you press your lips into his hair, or when you mumble compliments and honeysuckle words into his ear? He shivers either way.
It's a long game, you know. It's taken months to even reach this stage, where the self-deprication is a rarity, not the norm. Maybe it'll take his whole life before he can accept every part of himself like you can, before he can truly see himself through your eyes, gleaming and gem-speckled as they are.
You free your hand from his, reach up instead to knead shampoo into his thick hair. He responds with a sigh and sinks somehow further against you, the water falling slowly to a more lukewarm temperature. You're not sure how long the two of you have been in here, talking quietly about very little, exchanging words that'll disappear forever with the water. But you really can't find it in you to care.
There's work to be done, errands to run. Errands that should've been run a week ago. This ceremony, this meditation makes all of it null. For where else would you want to be? Where else exists besides here, this room, this moment, static in the cooling water with the embodiment of perfection.
When you tell it to him, as you so often do, when you tell him that he's perfect, he can't believe you. The first time you ever said it, peering into his eyes as if they held some secret treasure within, he thought you were joking. He'd laughed, more out of obligation than actual humour, but your expression remained still. Sincere. To say he was moved would be a wildly inadequate explanation. What he felt in his chest that night was something otherworldly, something without a name. He's come now to associate it simply with yours.
You run water through his hair, rinse out the shampoo as he lies pliant in your hands. He insists you use your soaps in his hair, some floral-scented collection you've used for who knows how long, because the smell reminds him of you.
There's no point in overthinking it, you suppose. No point in trying to map out and organise moods, emotions. No point in trying to turn a gentle human experience into something clinical, something without humanity.
That swirling, omnipresent yet transient concept of humanity. You simply must cradle it within your own. You press your lips into his wet hair, whisper words made of ginger and lavender into his ear. Because at the end of the day, you're human. You're in love. And sometimes, that's all that matters.
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