#that hasnt happened since like 2-3 years ago AND EVEN THEN it was in the bathroom in private but nope
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got scammed at work guys!! my top surgery savings (the one time ive actually been consistent with it!!) are gone :'p
#it was 400 dollars whoch i guess isnt huge but still. i have 5 dollars to my name rn#had a whole breakdown at work#that hasnt happened since like 2-3 years ago AND EVEN THEN it was in the bathroom in private but nope#i had 3 other managers w me in that room while i just sobbed and kept saying sorry and it was my fault#it was 400 from my money and then it was 900 from the company (my dad paid it back right away and i wasnt fired or suspended (to my#knowledge at least....) but yeah very embarrassing and i almost had a full on anxiety attack lol fun times#(i am trying to cope with humor so i dont give in and slice up my everything)#des is tired
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#the whole vet situation gives me such trauma whiplash im too busy with that that i havent really given myself a chance to process today#all i can think about is how painful eating must be for mischa#i noticed she slowed down a bit and wouldnt eat kibble or hard snacks but i thought it might be one single tooth ache idk#i actually thought she was doing better because she slowed down because she has been gulping down food way too fast since the shelter#the last time she had tooth problems like 2-3 years ago i asked a friend to come with me to the vet and she said omg yes of course#and then she resumed texting me normal stuff throughout the day of the appointment and only after i didnt reply the whole day she noticed#like 10 hours too late she was like OH SHIT HAHA!! and this is literally what happens every time when i ask someone to be there for me#when i make myself really vulnerable and ask for help and say that i cant do something alone they let me down#while knowing that i have no one else#i asked my mom to come to the vet once and she literally only talked about herself the whole time distracting me#and then she was like haha yeah lets just drop off the cat at home and go get some lunch hihi!!!!#she never remembers vet appointments even when we just talked about them and loves making fun of me for being stressed and tense#like OH NO WONDER YOU WERE MOODY like im on my period or something#i texted a friend about mischas health issues and me losing my job and she hasnt replied since january and doesnt really talk to me anymore#so i guess that friendship is done too#ill have to go there on thursday alone and overdraft my account and wait until the evening and care for mischa all alone#i cant even talk with someone about this because no one understands or judges my emotions and no one cares anyway#and then ill have to go back to work where everyone knows that i will be gone soon and will pester me about it#they all think of me as a temporary intern anyway and ask WHEN WILL YOU GO FIND A REAL JOB while they make me do theirs#everything and everyone at that job is so horrible and so many people leave and they never learn#a colleague i helped teaching everything suddenly turned on me &my other colleague & made our lives miserable while badmouthing us viciously#and everyone in the office chose her over us and let her get away with it while she screamed at us and behaved like a child#its so ironic how i stayed because i needed money to live and now when i go i will have 0 because of the surgery#i mean its worth it but like#what the fuck is life and what will it fucking be next month
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hi!
does lando still have a chance to win the championship? do you know how many points each race he needs above max to win? :)
hi! so yes mathematically hes still in the title race, but max is still leading by the same big margin, just with way fewer races to go. as in like the point difference was 50smth back in miami and its still 57 now. lando would need to outscore by an average of 12 points to beat max, which is not impossible but it is extremely ambitious (just like the title fight has been since landos been considered a contender)
the problem with making predictions like this is that car performance clearly varies massively race to race. a month ago it looked like with mclaren's pace lando could realistically dominate every single remaining race with a 30s cap to second, now he barely had the pace to fight for a podium. and the bigger issue is, when lando has the pace so does max, and when he doesnt neither does max - so no big swings either way end up happening, whether theyre first and second or fifth and sixth. thats how we have virtually the same points difference between them as we did back in may.
im struggling to parse my feelings abt the question u asked anon - not abt u specifically bc obviously its the thing everyone is thinking abt - mostly because im trying not to resent the situation of lando's wdc looking less and less likely for this year when i never actually believed he was in the position to be able to take it. its just that as soon as they see a sliver of a whiff of a championship fight the comms salivate like crazy and they amp up the tension for the viewers too, which is fun for 99% of the population but very unfun for me specifically. the fact that lando was considered a championship contender starting with his first ever win is crazy to me, and although i obviously am not mad at mclaren for making a very fast car i do wish lando had the chance to fight at the front more before being thrust into this kind of pressure cooker situation.
but to answer ur question on the odds: because max hasnt won a gp since spain and sometimes struggles for pace even in positions like third or fifth, if landos mojo is back then he can still make a huge dent in the championship by abu dhabi. if max has a dnf then the chances increase even more. that said im not relying on either of those things because 1. max is not russell, hes too consistent of a driver for me to bank on a dnf and 2. again, since miami, theyve finished next to each other like 10 times and more than 3 positions apart only three times (one of them being landos dnf in austria). as long as they stick next to each other on track landos never gonna truly threaten max's lead
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After the Joshua vs Usyk 2 fight I asked you what your thoughts were on a potential Usyk vs Fury match. Since it looks like they are fighting in about a month; what do you think about the matchup now?
i remember that! my thoughts have more or less remained the same. one thing that has stood out to me is the fighters mindset as of late. going all the way back to fury/chisora 3 few months ago i recall the stare down fury had with usyk at the end of the match and to me, fury seemed abnormally rattled while usyk essentially stared right through him. id also say the insane demands fury has made about the purse split, where the fight happens, and rematch clauses, vs how willing usyk is to accept them is also pretty telling. usyk wants it at any cost, and fury wants very badly to make the fight as unappealing for usyk as possible. thats my read at least.
on a technical level, my opinion hasnt changed much. fury has one of the most padded resumes of any heavyweight champ ever, and really only looks good against flat footed, one dimensional sluggers. fighters who not just stand their to let themselves get hit by fury, but who also let him lean, clinch, and foul them all night. that was wilder, whyte, and chisora's MO, but it is certainly not usyk and its the only style fury has really trained for in the last almost 10 years. speaking of training, his current sparring partner(if instagram is to be believed...) is joesph parker. not sure how that helps him, but its what hes doing! it also is worth pointing out that going back to before furys first retirement, you can see how he fared against people with some footwork/head movement(not anywhere near usyks of course...) but he doesnt look nearly as good. he gets knocked down, he gets gassed, hell, he even punches himself in the face once or twice.
that being said-ultimately, its going to comedown to who can impose their style on the other, and based on everything ive seen ive got it as a 60/40 split in favor of usyk. regardless, its going to be a fantastic match
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6.28.23
11:39pm
hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!
lets start w love life
so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky
the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good
i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd
but thats that
mentally
i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself
so thats good
pets
my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(
i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best
but now a general
post
lets talk abt what i think and stuff
so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.
eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that
my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3
im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.
when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.
i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.
my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.
i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.
im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3
but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now
i guess
im just tryin to be a bigger better person
i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose
lately i been emotional but i think
i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn
i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that
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i honestly think video games have kind of just fallen off for me ever since i played the wonderful 101 back in 2013/2014.
That was the first and maybe only time that a video game made me feel such a level of joy from just playing it. i legit shed some tears near the end of the game while playing it because of how much fun i was having. i even remember the exact moment where the game went from "really fun" to "no other video game will compare to this for me" which was the first punch-out boss in world 5.
this game even kickstarted me into cosplay.
i think ever since then, ive been trying to find that game that sparks that level of joy in me, but it just hasnt happened. not to say that i havent played really good games since then or that i havent found series since that i care about deeply; yakuza, gravity rush and indivisible are games that mean the world to me and i played those after the wonderful 101.
the closest is definitely gravity rush though. maybe the only open world game where i truly enjoyed spending hours just exploring the world even if there was actually not that much going on with it in terms of in-game events.
but its so few and far between where i find a game i really fall in love with and none have matched the wonderful 101 for me. and ESPECIALLY nowadays; those three games i mentioned are all 5 plus years old (not counting yakuza as a series because i personally stopped playing after 6).
i actually replayed a bit of the wonderful 101 a few weeks ago after not playing the game for years and that same feeling of joy started to rush back to me as i went through the first level.
ive fallen off pretty hard off of playing games nowadays. every so often ill pick up something that sparks my interest and have fun with it; but its legit like 2 MAYBE 3 games a year.
#and man...right before w101 came out i played metal gear rising#AND WHAT A GAMING EXPERIENCE THAT WAS TOO
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ahahah i havent moved *yet* (prolly when skl closes) and yes im the one who wrote the thingy titled desperate remedies (ironic considering my situation here ☹)
context: like a week ago we were chatting as we have since 2022 (we've been seperated since 2017 but recently got in touch), when all of a sudden she disappears. this sometimes happens, and it generally lasts for like a day or 2 b4 shes back to normal (normal as in actually putting an effort to converse). but this past week, she's gotten so distant, and its never happened b4 ☹
i went to my brother about it like 2 days ago n he said sth like know your worth and if she doesnt want to put an effort into speaking with you, stop expecting her to. and then more stuff before ending it with "a tip for the future: dont get too attatched to people. i know its a bit too late to say this now, but keep it in mind later on in life" when i tell u that was the biggest reality check ive gotten like damnnn sir yes sir why didnt i let bro cook earlier 🗣🗣🔥🔥
so today in a lighthearted manner i confronted her abt it
"hi. you havent been thinking about me enough to send a message 🤨. not even a "hi" or "good morning pooks" or "how are you" 😞😞😞" (i didnt actually put full stops, these were all seperate messages)
and yk what she replied with?
"HEYY. wasnt active on snap lil bro🙏" fym wasnt active bro the only reason i even downloaded snap was so i could talk to her and she thinks this is a valid excuse? "wasnt active" is a valid excuse to practically ghost your BEST friend of basically 15 years? damn
i sent a bunch of messages (most definitely NOT casually bc icba to be polite after she pulled that shit) telling her abt my feelings on the matter. she hasnt seen them yet, and idk if i should delete them or wait for her to see it
help meeeeememememememe ☹☹
your bro knows whats up 🗣🗣
hmmmm best friend of 15 years but you've been separated since 2017, i think it's normal to have gaps in communication bc you can't talk to the same ppl every single day unless you really really get along (the only ppl i talk to on a regular basis are all internet friends and that prob says sth about me too lmao)
but your bro is right- it does feel like both the case of 'you're too attached' and 'no effort from that friend'. since you've already sent msgs telling her about your feelings, i think it will be clear to you now about what she wants and then you can make decision about what to do next accordingly? kjfhgjkdhg
i think if she wants to save this friendship she'll be clear about her feelings on this matter and maybe you'll both find a middle ground about how you're going to navigate in the future. good luck <3
#i've rarely ever had friend drama#bc i shut everyone before the drama happens :D#lol its bc i always do a terms and conditions whenever i become friends with someone (like i tell them stuff#that im not a texter nor a caller do not spam me#and most of all do not ever start the 'omg did you forget about me' drama and pretend to be mad at me#that shit makes my blood boil)#these tandcs have actually saved all my friendships lmao#and i still have really old friends#but anyways good luck to you#yumi.asks
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ive been thinking about cds a lot more recently (probably bc i ordered 2 out of 3 utena discs online (and they should be arriving on tuesday!!)) like. i ended up looking through my cds i have, thinking about burning a cd for the first time (bc my parents always just. burnt them for me so i unfortunately have never done it, and my computer is just a surface pro 4 with a keyboard attachment and as such has no disc drive)
but anyways. thinking about them got me thinking about how i honestly listened to cds consistently until very recently. like. i listened to a cd every night to go to bed for probably like. 10 years. maybe even longer than that who knows!! and it also just got me thinking about technology more in general. cds arent really. as relevant anymore. like yeah theyre still sold but since music has been becoming more and more digital and more focused on streaming it hasnt been as much of a thing. i used to have an mp3 player (which. i have no clue what happened to it)
and like. video game consoles i was used to as a kid are. getting really old now (something i was thinking about last night). the wii will be turning 18 next year, the original nintendo ds will be turning 20. the dsi (which was my first ds) will be turning 15. even the switch being a pretty recent (and still current) console is turning 7. its sooo weird to think about the passage of time and things getting older. the ds i played with when i was 6 was already kinda outdated when i got it since it was 2012 and the 3ds existed, but now the dsi is a pretty old console. 2009 doesnt seem like that long ago to me, then i have to remind myself that was the year when i was in preschool and i am now an adult
its crazy to think about how much things have changed, i used vhs tapes when i was younger to watch schoolhouse rock, had all my dvds and cds (though unfortunately my dvds are not in good shape due to little me almost never putting them back in their cases 😔) i listened to music off of my dsi primarily and thought the 3d animation in barbie and the diamond castle was peak animation, and now things are skewing towards being mostly digital, and there are so many hyperrealistic 4k type graphics out there now......
i dont even know what im rambling on about anymore its like 2 am. i just think things are cool and they also give me a crisis when i realize some things are kinda old now but. i suppose thats just something everyone goes through at some point
#2 am ramblings yippee!!!!#this is what my brain sounds like when i try to go to sleep btw im just unloading some of that here
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i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.
this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.
i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.
tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other
idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.
tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.
im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response
she didnt even receive it T_T
idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.
and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot
see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.
ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating
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i think there’s a real chance that loona, weki meki, and dreamcatcher all come back in june. and if they overlap with fromis’s promotions, then all four of my main ult groups that i’ve had since 2019 will be promoting all at once.
tho tbh i dont think that’s likely, i think fromis and loona could definitely overlap because loona seem like theyre only days from announcing their comeback (so it could happen in late may, actually), and weki meki i think need to come back soon so hopefully early-ish in june, and they’ll probably overlap... but dreamcatcher... i have a hunch that they’ll be late june or early-to-mid july. so they probably wont overlap with fromis. this could be the closest its ever come to all four of my main ults promoting at the same time, but i think it just baaarely wont overlap. i mean for all i know, dc might not come back again until autumn, if they stick to their two-cbs-per-year thing. but i really do think they’re gonna do 3 this year, which is easier bc their first was in january lol, that gives them a lot of time.
but so if this does happen, obviously it means that theyll all be competing against each other, but thats fine i think. the good outweighs the bad. interactions are good, and also just like... idk... i like music, and i like getting a ton of new stuff at once. twice is gonna be promoting in june anyway, so it’ll be an uphill battle even if only one other group comes back in june or whatever lol. i’d rather have them all come back during a difficult and super-stacked month than have them all wait for an “easy” month that will never come because of how stacked kpop in general is nowadays. music show wins are awesome, but they’re not the most important thing. music and performances are, lol. if groups are in it solely for wins, then they should be a sports team or something, not a music group. wins are an important goal for all of them, im sure, but i mean at the end of the day i bet what matters most to them is releasing music and performing performances that they can be proud of, so yeah, ive never had a problem with a ton of groups i like coming back at the same time and “competing” with each other. especially if they become friends haha
#weeekly are also an ult group now and i think at this point theyre probably higher than loona for me....#but thats a recent development lol. ive had a definite top 4 for like two years now and it hasnt changed#well the order of the groups has changed lol but its been the same four groups at the top for a long time#i only got into kpop 2 years ago lol so its been my entire time#until recently lol cause i gotta recognize that weeekly are at that level for me now#and loona have fallen off a little bit :( i'd love to really reignite my passion for them though! i wanna have another loona phase#rn im still in weeekly phase and ive been there since after school. theyre my current favorite group#not my overall favorite group... thats still weme and dc. but like... you know what i mean? my favorite group at the moment#like... theyre the group im focused on at the moment. theyre not my all time favorite but theyre my current favorite#like how in a sport you can say theres the greatest player of all time but they might not be the current number 1#the current number 1 is some up and comer who is really hot right now but the all-time number 1 is based on legacy#and like amount of time spent as number 1. theyll fall off the top occasionally but maybe they could jump right back in#and be the best again if they try for it. sorry lol this is a topic for another post#i watch a lot of fighting game stuff so im thinking of discussions about best players as an analogy lol#like whether mango or armada is the best melee player of all time.. even though zain is number 1 in the world rn#weme and dc are my favorite groups of all time.. even tho weeekly are number 1 for me right now hahaha#and im sure when fromis come back i'll enter a fromis phase and they'll be my favorite for a while#im SUCH a nerd#i took my adhd pill about two hours ago which means this really is peak ramble territory#that always happens right around this time lol. 2 to 3 hours after taking it i just get really talkative#but like in a very stream of consciousness way#and if im not posting stuff like this then im just saying it all to myself out loud in my room lmao pretending im a youtuber or smth#or im super glued in to something... laser-focused... completely absorbed. i mean thats what it is lol#2-3 hours after taking vyvanse seems to be when my laser-focus is at its most potent... and so if im talking about stuff..#then this is what happens haha. ive im working on something#then i'll get super focused on it and the whole world fades away and i lose track of time completely#and then 5-6 hours after taking it i just kinda crash and feel super tired and depressed and i take a nap. it happens#vyvanse is a stimulant so it works kinda like caffeine. caffeine is a stimulant too after all.#why am i writing all this? idk lol. but do you see what i have to deal with every day? this is my brain lol#just be glad i dont post stuff like this all the time
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Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))
First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭
And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).
I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)
So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.
Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻
okay
okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF
I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,
1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which
2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person
3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.
4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺
So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG
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ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic
since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.
also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since
notes about the bingos under the cut
really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too
would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)
when are they putting octolings in mk8d
xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3
im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year
hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something
the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)
metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)
where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)
they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2
the two sinnoh games could likely be there
would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash
we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that
it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash
whats with that watermelon mario render
i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game
im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too
nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk
been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff
miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over
and splatoon
the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group
i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return
would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun
show us the effects of the chaos world
i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance
splatnet 3 baby
cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose
abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?
salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode
amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)
returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind
maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around
squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway
as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil
remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)
better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists
hopefully theres a global testfire again
sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz
remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back
looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it
an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity
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I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?
the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)
This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!
oOo
context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder
so...
one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles
and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok
and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away
"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again
but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"
and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces
and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again
but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful
but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.
and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-
it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again
"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.
and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby
and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside
. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that
when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle
but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy
roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.
but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED
so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.
"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"
logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"
and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"
logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no
so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"
"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.
he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too
so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown
every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"
when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away
and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are
so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.
as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries
they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future
but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)
they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch
oOo
just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:
logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home
it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small
his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true
and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back
and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3
hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him
he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing
#mama logan#little big eating disorder#do not reblog#long post#asks#adorable undead queen#little big after dark concepts
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please talk more abt ur simpsons self insert im in love
OK THIS WAS SENT SO LONG AGO AND NOBODY TOLD ME NOT EVEN TUMBLAR AM SORREY :(
so hihi hello im SO FRICKING!!! glad (and surprised!!!!!) you are interested in my lore. i must say though that i have much to share story wise because my brain thinks about 15 different things at once. by the time i go to bed it feels like ive been awake for TWO days instead of one
my. SIMPSONA as the kids might say. is seraph ✨✨ short for seraphiael, and other shorthands for this name include serapheme, seraf, serif, cera, sera, etc. he/she/they/it is an angel! he sounds like LESLIE JORDAN and he looks like;
this! :3 (did nt draw that little headshot; thats a credit to eggvvhore, right there, it is) his design has changed a lot from the first drawing i posted of ‘im though BUT is technically still canon because he DOES dress like that and he DOES have longer hair which he eventually cuts and it starts to curl at the ends and then hes just got a lil poff 🌨️🌨️ :3
story stuff under a cut becauseeeeee its so self indulgent and kinda long lol
so basically reverend lovejoy is a fallen angel/not technically a demon since he hasnt died and gone to hell and hes so pissed off about god that hes like “fuck this im gonna kill your followers bitch” so like 200 years after hes fallen he starts murdering christians lowkey over the years BUT ONLY AFTER they commit a sin so he knows for SURE they’re going to hell instead of heaven
hes chilling in european parts of the world mostly at first since they love jesus the most and then when american happens, he jumps his ass right on that boat and he moves all across the bible belt for like 300 years UNTIL the 1970s when he meets helen and is like aw fuck yes oh my god holy shit finally someone who GETS me. i will marry you immediately so we can be best friends forever (eventually it evolves to something more romantic but this is how it starts out)
SO THEY MOVE TO SPRINGFIELD (and in this canon i share with two, technically three, other friends of mine, springfield is a fucked up town where like time froze at some point or some shit idk im not the friend that works on that LOL thats Shattered Man Jokis’ job)
so at this point lovejoy has been on earth for 700 years total and that equals 7 days in heaven! so hes been gone a whole week.
god like, looks down at the earth, he’s doing a routine check, whatever, HE SEES LOVEJOY AND HE’S LIKE. OHHH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS FUCKING MENACE IS SO CLOSE TO MY MOST LOYAL IDIOT SUCKER NED FLANDER (lovejoy is definitely planning to kill flanders) so he sends his highest ranking most powerful angel possible to kill him before he kills ned (this wasnt a decision on my part, i just looked up the name seraphiel and apparently thats literally the name of the prince of angels so i was like. ok i guess this guy is prince bitch)
preface; god is an asshole. hes just an asshole. he gets all his power from the worship people give him and his angels are powerful because halos are something that literally gives the angel connection to god’s power and also connect them to a constant stream of god’s thoughts so instantly they know exactly what he wants done at any time (halos can be broken or ripped off; breaking them allows the connection to fade away which still leaves you with abilities for quite a little while after but ripping it off severs your connection permanently and removes almost all magical properties and is EXTREMELY painful. this is reserved for angels who have been banished from heaven USUALLY)
preface 2; after falling lovejoy’s only supernatural qualities he’s retained after so long are MINOR EXTREMELY minor shapeshifting and he’s crazy strong (his str + def are sososo high but nothing else really lol)
so seraph gets there, lovejoy immediately knows who he is, they get into an anime fight because those are my favorite types of fights, destroying everything wow awesome big huge and then somehow its fine three days later
seraph loses! because i think lovejoy is just that determined about not dying + he has plot armor, and they fight a couple more times, and seraph loses some more, so seraf’s like FUCK this i guess. and just decides to literally stalk the shit out of reverend to make sure he doesnt kill anyone else (”YOU COULD HAVE JUST LET ME KILL YOU BUT NOOOOOOW I HAVE TO STAND HERE, RIGHT HERE, SEVEN FEET BEHIND YOU, FOREVER.”)
he really doesnt need to do this? but hes so so fucking mad that he couldnt kill lovejoy he’s like “i cannot go back to the Lord and be like. yeah i fucking failed” ARE YOU KIDDING HE’LL DIE. so instead he just intently follows lovejoys every move
eventually they form a relationship and then they kiss and then seraph and helen kiss and they all kiss and wow its content not for anything other than for me to be interested in. all of this is tailored to me bc i really liked lovejoys design/voice/personality and it spiraled from there :)
there’s more stuff after and even between this shit but it involves other peoples characters and this is already a lot SO if anyone is interested in our self indulgent little au? send another ask go right ahead 💖 id love to answerb
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End Of The Year Faves 2020!
Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!
i was tagged by the lovely @lxncelot & @musicallisto !!!
i’ve only written 10 one shots this year since i stopped taking requests rip. i only ended up picking 5 of them bc i didnt like the rest. also i love talking about the behind the scenes of writing like its just so fun. i literally went through my revision history in my google docs to see how i wrote these akjsdhasjd so literally........... if anyone wants to talk to me about a piece........... just shoot me an ask bc i will gladly tell u all about it
1. Lifetimes (Sebastien le Livre)
this might be my number one bc it’s the most recent and i havent decided i hate it yet but wrote this as an alternative to therapy lmfaooooooo and it’s been a month but um. it still hurts. but anyway, i started off with the below paragraph:
And Booker has centuries of pain under his belt. Endless years of trauma that he cannot even begin to unpack. But you don’t have centuries. You don’t have lifetimes to reconcile with all the cruelty in the world — you just have one, and Booker knows he of all people should know just how much hurt one lifetime can contain.
and just worked around it, bc i was just really obsessed with the concept of having multiple lifetimes and all that, and just the fact that life has so much pain and hurt and it just sucks. i edited the first sentence for the final but otherwise it’s the same. i think i came up with some pretty good lines in this if i do say so myself, and i mentioned it in the a/n, but i intended for it to be longer but didn’t want to push it after i feel like i had written all i wanted to. i just wanted someone to hold me and comfort me clearly.
2. Cursed Blood (Renfri)
i am obsessed with renfri as a character and her whole story, and the whole concept of her being cursed just felt like something that i really wanted to explore and write about. these were the first lines i wrote for the piece:
But every time you kiss her, you swear that it’s impossible her lips could be poison. Or perhaps you grew so used it, that the poison tasted sweet.
i ended up editing this a lot for the final version, but a trend in my writing seems to be i always come up with how to end a piece and just work around it. i really enjoyed going into depth into renfri’s character and it kinda felt more like a character study than a reader insert? but eventually i found a way to work the reader in there and i liked where the story went, bc renfri deserves happiness and someone to be there for her.
3. Roadside (Robin Buckley)
still in shock at how many notes this one got and i am forever grateful to everyone who reblogged/left comments!!! this was for lacey’s ( @moonlit-imagines ) writing challenge, and idk why when i saw the prompt i immediately decided to use robin. for this one, i actually started with the beginning, which was the prompt, “Let’s take a walk. Just you and me.”
i mentioned this in the a/n, but i planned it to be a lot more angsty and wasn’t even planning on ending it on a happy note askjdhaksd the original plot i had in mind was that robin and the reader were into each other but were dancing around each other’s feelings. so one night, the reader drunkenly kisses steve at a party to try and make robin jealous, but it ends up just causing a rift between robin and the reader even after they confess their feelings. here is a part i wrote for the original plot before i decided to scrap it and go with the final plot.
“Look, I don’t even care if you and Steve get together.” Robin waves her hand, and you’re not used to seeing such disappointment on your best friend’s face as she lets out a shaky breath. She looks as if she’s struggling to collect herself before she asks, “I just… why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t.” you desperately blurt, and Robin’s eyebrows furrow. Shaking your head, you take a step towards her as you explain, “I didn’t lie, Robin, I swear. I don’t like Steve. What happened at the party meant nothing—”
Robin scoffs. “Then why—”
“—because I wanted you to see.” you finally confess, and Robin stares at you. You’re shaking, tears welling in your eyes as you continue, “Because I thought I could make you jealous, because I was just too afraid to make a move and wanted you too. And I know that’s silly of me, and I never meant to hurt your feelings—”
i changed the plot because i didn’t think i could pull it off, and i didn’t know how to fully end it. i liked where it ended up going anyway after the change of direction so all good!!
4. Games (Michael Gray)
so this was inspired by a gif imagine request that @fangirlsarah16 sent me, which you can find here!! you can literally see me already plotting for the piece in the tags aksjdha i just loved how angsty the situation was, and i love michael, so i decided to just run with it. i put what i had already written into a document and just pieced everything in around it. this is definitely one of my more dramatic pieces, but i just loved how the story came together and how all the other characters were included.
i already planned to write a part 2 while i was still writing this piece, but obviously that hasnt happened yet. also i got discouraged bc i thought it would do better in terms of notes but oh well. i wrote around 300 words of where i wanted part 2 to go, and i still have it saved, but i dont want to share it in case i end up writing it. also, i have 2 plots in mind for where i want part 2 to go, and haven’t decided which one i want to go with. we’ll have to wait and see i guess >:)
5. Off Limits (Cassian Andor)
ah yes, the first in my rewrite project that is going along very slowly. basically, im planning on rewriting my super old one shots in hopes that i’ll like them. i swear i’ve got the next one shot in my drafts but i just havent had the time to finish it yet. anyway, the original piece, which i wrote 4 years ago (!!!!), was the piece that really got my blog started and helped me get activity/attention, and it has around 500 notes, which kinda makes the new version look depressing bc it only has 97 and it’s definitely a lot better in my opinion.
i don’t really have a detailed process for this one, seeing as i was just improving upon an old piece, but one of the main things i did want to change was cassian’s characterisation. i felt like i just made him too mean in my old piece, and i wanted to loosen him up a bit. i managed to bang this one in one day and i just think it’s some cute content and i miss the rogue one squad!!
i’m tagging @moonlit-imagines @emcon-imagines @lotsoffandomimagines @dannyboy-writes @murswrites @randomfandomimagine @sonsofeorl @spxder-mxns & all other content creators that see this!! i’m definitely missing a lot but everyone should share their favorite pieces from this year :’)
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Geralt x reader We're Married? Part 1
Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love for my other story! I was so nervous posting it and you guys were just the best💕 this story was harder to write and I'm not sure it's as good as the other one but I'm gonna post it anyway.
This can be read as a part 3 to the injured reader story:)
Part 2 here
Pairing: Geralt x Reader
Warnings: Cursing, blood, mentions of death, mentions of past sexual abuse.
*********************
Out of all the places you'd traveled too with the witcher, this had to be one of the nicest.
As you walked through the kingdom known as Servia you couldn't help but stare at everything around you. Vendors lined the streets selling everything you could possibly imagine, shining jewelry, beautifully woven fabrics, and oooooooh well well well what do we have here!!!
You made a beeline for the tray of freshly baked pastries, a seductive look on your face,
"Well hello boys...which one of you wants to come home with me hehehe, or perhaps I should take you all home? Oooh your so bad hehe, well if you insist hahahahaha".
From afar Geralt sighed and Jaskier just looked on with disturbing confusion, "Geralt? What exactly is she doing?" His face twisted uncomfortablely as you continued talking and giggling like a maniac.
"She has a thing about....desserts" Geralt closed his eyes and shuddered as he remembered the one time he left you alone in an inn and you used up all of his coin to order one of literally everything on the menu. He practically had to roll you away afterwards.
"My God geralt shes scaring the baker now".
Jaskier scrunched his mouth as he watched you continue to whisper to the pastries, completely unaware of the weird looks people were giving you." I swear brothel whores are more subtle.."
Geralt grunted and made his way over to you, "We'll uh...take however much this will get us" he placed a coin in the bakers hand and watched your eyes glint like a maniac when he handed you the box.
"There now that you have your sweets, can we please hurry! We can't be late!" Jaskier pleaded pushing you in the correct path again.
"Alright alright no more stops I promise....wait does anyone else smell chocolate?" You look around frantically.
"NO" the both of them shout in unison and drag you forward.
"Ugh ok, I was just asking geez.."you pout.
"Remind me again who we're meeting?" You questioned, looking up at Jaskier who rolled his eyes back at you.
"Ugh how many times do I have to tell you?!"
"His name is Yavert, hes the advisor of the royal family here and he also happens to be the man who requested our help".
You nodded your head, "oh yes I remember now" ok you actually had no idea what he was talking about but whatever, you'll figure it out.
Some time later you found yourselves gawking at the massive architecture that was the Castle de Servia. Calling it massive would be doing it a disservice. The structure went higher than your eyes could see and wider than any other castle you've been to. "Holy fuck.." Jaskier whispered in awe.
Geralt shook his head as if he was already fed up with it all, "let's go"
The guards led you through the castle and into a small side room. Red carpets lined the floors along with a beautiful mahogany table. The walls had several portraits, obviously of the royal family. You saw an older man, a woman, and a young girl about your age all ornately painted. Hmm why do people always look so upset in portraits. Couldn't the artist just add a smile?
A creak at the door gained everyone's attention. A man, probably in his mid fifties, entered. He was balding and on the fluffier side, dressed in a puffy sleeved shirt, with a velvet red vest over it.
"Welcome, please, have a seat, you all must be tired from your jouney" he said gesturing to the chairs.
"You have no idea what a relief it is to have you here Geralt of Rivia" a look of exhaustion fell over face.
"So what's the job" Geralt asked, straight to the point as usual.
The man looked uncomfortable for a moment before he scooted closer and leaned in as if he was telling a secret,
"Well..our...problem, began a few weeks ago when the alliance between Targeris and our own kingdom was official. Since then there have been several banquets of celebration, as there are still many things being discussed and processed. One of those being the upcoming wedding of our Princess Annora and their Prince Edgrin. Hence the big celebration we are having this evening, an engagement party of sorts."
"And the problem?" Geralt cocked a brow.
The man swallowed before continuing, "Well..since the alliance, there have been disappearances..."
"Dissapearances?" You echoed interested.
"Important Servia officials have suddenly been going missing..the first on the night the kings signed the peace agreement, the second when the marriage was announced.. and then.." he looked around wearily and lowered his voice even more, "things have gotten much worse.."
"How exactly did they get worse" Geralt inquired, suspicious of how Yavert was acting.
"At the last party, about a week ago, one of our ambassadors was found dead.."
Geralt narrowed his eyes, "what aren't you saying.."
The man gulped, " it was the way he died, no man could have..." he paused closing his eyes, obvious memories making him shudder. "No man could have done it, it had to be a monster".
"How can you be so sure?" You asked leaning in now intrigued.
"The body..was so mangled we could barely identify the man. His innards were ripped out and his eyes...they were gone. Clearly it was the work of a beast."
Geralt narrowed his brows, "I have never encountered a monster before that hand picks their pray." You nodded in agreement.
All the monsters you'd faced just destroyed everything in their path. And why would a monster suddenly decide to start targeting officials from Servia? It just doesnt make any sense.
"Please witcher, help us with finding and slaying the creature and we will pay whatever means necessary" he placed a large pouch in front of us.
"Hmm" geralt thought for a few moments, then turned to you wordlessly asking your opinion. A new habit that did make you feel more like partners.
You shrugged your shoulders in a "why not?" Sort of way.
"Alright what the hell.." he grabbed the pouch and stood up.
"Wait, theres a few more things you need to know.." Geralt sat back down with a grunt.
"It is important that you are discreet, no one can know who you or your companions are, not even the king and queen themselves.."
"What?!" Your eyes widened.
"They dont know?" Geralt asked completely bewildered.
"I have advised the king and queen since they first began their reign many years ago. They trust me with their lives I would never lie to them...except..." he sighed and continued, "we have been at odds with targeris for so long, and finally peace is withing our grasp.
But if the king catches wind of what's going on, he will no doubt blame Targeris. Our king is good, but his fault lies with his hate for Targeris. It took much convincing from everyone to finally have the king agree to peace. But he would quickly jump to accuse them. I have no doubt a war would begin if this were to happen...for the sake of peace, they cannot know.." he looked down in shame.
"And the king just doesn't notice all these officials have gone missing?" Geralt shook his head in disbelief.
"Well...we have done our best to cover them up...but the king is getting suspicious, which is why we need to figure out what exactly is going on before anything else happens."
Everything about this job just seemed off. A monster who hand picks their prey, disappearing officials, and the king hasnt even the slightest idea?
"How are we supposed to find this monster without having our identities revealed?" You cocked your head in question.
"Ah yes well, I have prepared an airtight alias for the both of you, after all if you're going to fool people, you will need real identities"
"Fool people? Why cant we just stay in the shadows until something pops up?". Monster hunting in your experience was much easier when there weren't people around. Probably monster hunting rule #1.
"Unfortunately you would not be able to as the king has eyes and ears everywhere, it would not be long before youd be questioned and ultimately found out." Yavert explains.
"Alright.." you say hesitantly, "So how are we supposed to track the monster then?
"So far all the accidents have occurred during nightfall. By blending in as elite members of society, no one will question you as you move about, not even the royal family."
God this just keeps getting more confusing..
"So not only do we have to worry about finding a seemingly brilliant monster, but also worry about being found out?" Jaskier piped in for the first time this entire conversation.
"Yes that's correct.." he nodded slowly.
"Unfortunately I was only able to manage 2 identities, you will be known as Sir and Lady Trestin. A well known name, although the couple is known for not socializing so the risk of someone recognizing that you're not them is extremely low, here are your official invitations you will have to present at the door." He slid some documents our way.
"Wait I'm sorry did you say couple? As in couple of friends? Couple of siblings? Couple of cousins??" Surely he didnt mean-
"The lady and sir Tristan and husband and wife..is that a problem?" He questioned eyebrow raised.
"No of course not.." Um maybe a little! Sure I've fantasized about it before *cough* but now to actually act it out?? This was going to be an adventure for sure..
"What about me?" Jaskier pipes in again.
"You can be our dog" Geralt says not missing a beat.
"Oh that's low geralt" he recoils dramatically.
"How about servant boy?" You offer with a shrug.
"Do I have to?" He gives a puppy dog look to Yavert.
"I'm afraid it's the only way" Yavert smiled slightly.
"Alright, now then, this is the address you will go to for preperation my lady and for the sirs, you'll come with me" you all stood up and parted ways.
Geralt as your husband? This could actually be fun..
‐------------------------------------------------
"OUCH" you yelled for the thousandth time at the stupid woman who's mission was to tighten your corset until your eyes popped out.
"I'm sorry my lady but this must be done.." you sighed holding the wall for support.
"Especially a lady as...." she trailed off.
"Curvy as you.." did this bitch just?!?!
"You're job is to get me ready not tell me I've eaten too many sweets in my day" you rolled your eyes.
"Besides its nearing winter, I need the extra fluff for survival purposes"
"Well I think a little extra meat on a girl is highly attractive" a new voice chimed in.
"Jaskier? When did you get here?" You couldn't help out the small laugh when you truly got a good look at him. He wore the typical servants garb but his hair had been slicked back. He looked like a boiled egg.
"Don't you laugh too! I swear you and Geralt are so mean to me" he dejectedly sprawled himself out on a cushioned chair.
"Speaking of.." you looked at the door, "Where is he?"
"Hes still getting ready, a sir takes much longer than a mere servant." You laughed at his miserable tone.
"Oh lighten up Jaskier, servant boys have plenty of fun at these parties too, I'm sure some lady will see your puppy face and take you in" you smirked.
"Let's hope so.." another girl came in this time holding a few brightly colored dresses in her arms.
"Turn around boy" the older woman scolded.
"And you, arms up!" You complied as she slid the softest fabric you've ever felt over your body.
Your turned to look at the mirror, "Eww gross no way, Jaskier look! I'm a pineapple!" You both laughed annoying the girls. "Alright next!"
*insert shopping montage with corny music here*
"This one?"
Nods head
Next!
Both nod heads
Maybe? Actually nevermind..
No
No
No
Next
Eww what even is this color barf in the spring??
No
WAIT! HELL YES!
Jaskier nods in agreement.
*Montage ends*
An hour later you were ready, the beautuful _____ colored gown was the perfect shape on your body. It wasnt like most of the boring dresses you had tried on. And you decided to ditch the corset..
"It isnt proper!" One scolded.
"But you have to admit, it's a hell of alot sexier.." Jaskier nodded looking over me.
"Plus I can actually breathe!" And besides how were you supposed to fight monsters if you couldn't move? You left that part out obviously.
The girls just shook their heads in exasperation and finished up your hair and make up in another room.
"There now you're ready" the ladies smiled in satisfaction and left. You thanked them and made your way out to where Jaskier was.
His eyes lit up when he saw you, "Y/n! You look amazing! Although you always look beautiful" he smirked taking your arm.
"Thank you Jaskier, after everything those ladies put me through I better look like a fucking goddess" you both laughed remembering how he had to hold you down while they waxed your legs.
Together you left the shop and you swore for a moment you forgot how to breathe. Now Geralt in full body armor is one thing, but princely Geralt? Well your dreams were Surely going to be wild tonight. Never had you seen the witcher so finely pressed before. It was very...refreshing.
His gaze rose as he finally noticed the two of you. You forgot how to breathe when he looked over you. "Well? What do you think?" You asked a little embarrassed.
"Well...no one will be questioning who you are when you're looking like that" the corner of his lips rose slighty and he stepped to the side, gesturing us into the waiting carriage.
That was a compliment right?? He meant like because you look so beautiful so one is going to ask questions right? Not, well you look like a snooty aristocrat so no one will question???? Ok I'm going with the first one. Stop overthinking geez.
The ride to the castle was quick and soon you were arm in arm with your "husband".
"Come along boy, don't dawdle" geralt teased behind him.
"Dont be mean" you lightly shoved him but couldn't help but laugh as well.
"What great friends I have.."he mumbled....
******************
Ok so that's part 1, lemme know if it's any good. Also I'm kinda new to this so I don’t know the tagging etiquette lol so I just tagged whoever asked. Also part 2 will be uploaded tonight too as soon as I finish editing xoxo
@marvels-gurl @shane-isa-shame @waitingtobeimpressed @viking-raider @dream-alittlebiggerdarling
#geralt x reader#geralt of rivia#the witcher#romance#jaskier#student#apprentice#we're married#part 1#pt 1#Geralt x reader we're married#love#mage#blood#hurt#injury#wife#husband#fanfiction#geralt x oc#self insert#apprentice reader#reader#injured reader#fake marriage#married#geralt x reader we're married
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