#that hasnt happened since like 2-3 years ago AND EVEN THEN it was in the bathroom in private but nope

[feeling-kinda-sad-ngl]

got scammed at work guys!! my top surgery savings (the one time ive actually been consistent with it!!) are gone :'p

[pears-trinkets]

.

[mcl38]

hi!

does lando still have a chance to win the championship? do you know how many points each race he needs above max to win? :)

hi! so yes mathematically hes still in the title race, but max is still leading by the same big margin, just with way fewer races to go. as in like the point difference was 50smth back in miami and its still 57 now. lando would need to outscore by an average of 12 points to beat max, which is not impossible but it is extremely ambitious (just like the title fight has been since landos been considered a contender)

the problem with making predictions like this is that car performance clearly varies massively race to race. a month ago it looked like with mclaren's pace lando could realistically dominate every single remaining race with a 30s cap to second, now he barely had the pace to fight for a podium. and the bigger issue is, when lando has the pace so does max, and when he doesnt neither does max - so no big swings either way end up happening, whether theyre first and second or fifth and sixth. thats how we have virtually the same points difference between them as we did back in may.

im struggling to parse my feelings abt the question u asked anon - not abt u specifically bc obviously its the thing everyone is thinking abt - mostly because im trying not to resent the situation of lando's wdc looking less and less likely for this year when i never actually believed he was in the position to be able to take it. its just that as soon as they see a sliver of a whiff of a championship fight the comms salivate like crazy and they amp up the tension for the viewers too, which is fun for 99% of the population but very unfun for me specifically. the fact that lando was considered a championship contender starting with his first ever win is crazy to me, and although i obviously am not mad at mclaren for making a very fast car i do wish lando had the chance to fight at the front more before being thrust into this kind of pressure cooker situation.

but to answer ur question on the odds: because max hasnt won a gp since spain and sometimes struggles for pace even in positions like third or fifth, if landos mojo is back then he can still make a huge dent in the championship by abu dhabi. if max has a dnf then the chances increase even more. that said im not relying on either of those things because 1. max is not russell, hes too consistent of a driver for me to bank on a dnf and 2. again, since miami, theyve finished next to each other like 10 times and more than 3 positions apart only three times (one of them being landos dnf in austria). as long as they stick next to each other on track landos never gonna truly threaten max's lead

[party-slug]

After the Joshua vs Usyk 2 fight I asked you what your thoughts were on a potential Usyk vs Fury match. Since it looks like they are fighting in about a month; what do you think about the matchup now?

i remember that! my thoughts have more or less remained the same. one thing that has stood out to me is the fighters mindset as of late. going all the way back to fury/chisora 3 few months ago i recall the stare down fury had with usyk at the end of the match and to me, fury seemed abnormally rattled while usyk essentially stared right through him. id also say the insane demands fury has made about the purse split, where the fight happens, and rematch clauses, vs how willing usyk is to accept them is also pretty telling. usyk wants it at any cost, and fury wants very badly to make the fight as unappealing for usyk as possible. thats my read at least.

on a technical level, my opinion hasnt changed much. fury has one of the most padded resumes of any heavyweight champ ever, and really only looks good against flat footed, one dimensional sluggers. fighters who not just stand their to let themselves get hit by fury, but who also let him lean, clinch, and foul them all night. that was wilder, whyte, and chisora's MO, but it is certainly not usyk and its the only style fury has really trained for in the last almost 10 years. speaking of training, his current sparring partner(if instagram is to be believed...) is joesph parker. not sure how that helps him, but its what hes doing! it also is worth pointing out that going back to before furys first retirement, you can see how he fared against people with some footwork/head movement(not anywhere near usyks of course...) but he doesnt look nearly as good. he gets knocked down, he gets gassed, hell, he even punches himself in the face once or twice.

that being said-ultimately, its going to comedown to who can impose their style on the other, and based on everything ive seen ive got it as a 60/40 split in favor of usyk. regardless, its going to be a fantastic match

[jenanddomo]

6.28.23

11:39pm

hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!

lets start w love life

so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky

the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good

i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd

but thats that

mentally

i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself

so thats good

pets

my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(

i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best

but now a general

post

lets talk abt what i think and stuff

so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.

eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that

my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3

im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.

when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.

i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.

my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.

i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.

im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3

but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now

i guess

im just tryin to be a bigger better person

i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose

lately i been emotional but i think

i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn

i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that

[blundergato]

i honestly think video games have kind of just fallen off for me ever since i played the wonderful 101 back in 2013/2014.

That was the first and maybe only time that a video game made me feel such a level of joy from just playing it. i legit shed some tears near the end of the game while playing it because of how much fun i was having. i even remember the exact moment where the game went from "really fun" to "no other video game will compare to this for me" which was the first punch-out boss in world 5.

this game even kickstarted me into cosplay.

i think ever since then, ive been trying to find that game that sparks that level of joy in me, but it just hasnt happened. not to say that i havent played really good games since then or that i havent found series since that i care about deeply; yakuza, gravity rush and indivisible are games that mean the world to me and i played those after the wonderful 101.

the closest is definitely gravity rush though. maybe the only open world game where i truly enjoyed spending hours just exploring the world even if there was actually not that much going on with it in terms of in-game events.

but its so few and far between where i find a game i really fall in love with and none have matched the wonderful 101 for me. and ESPECIALLY nowadays; those three games i mentioned are all 5 plus years old (not counting yakuza as a series because i personally stopped playing after 6).

i actually replayed a bit of the wonderful 101 a few weeks ago after not playing the game for years and that same feeling of joy started to rush back to me as i went through the first level.

ive fallen off pretty hard off of playing games nowadays. every so often ill pick up something that sparks my interest and have fun with it; but its legit like 2 MAYBE 3 games a year.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

ahahah i havent moved *yet* (prolly when skl closes) and yes im the one who wrote the thingy titled desperate remedies (ironic considering my situation here ☹)

context: like a week ago we were chatting as we have since 2022 (we've been seperated since 2017 but recently got in touch), when all of a sudden she disappears. this sometimes happens, and it generally lasts for like a day or 2 b4 shes back to normal (normal as in actually putting an effort to converse). but this past week, she's gotten so distant, and its never happened b4 ☹

i went to my brother about it like 2 days ago n he said sth like know your worth and if she doesnt want to put an effort into speaking with you, stop expecting her to. and then more stuff before ending it with "a tip for the future: dont get too attatched to people. i know its a bit too late to say this now, but keep it in mind later on in life" when i tell u that was the biggest reality check ive gotten like damnnn sir yes sir why didnt i let bro cook earlier 🗣🗣🔥🔥

so today in a lighthearted manner i confronted her abt it

"hi. you havent been thinking about me enough to send a message 🤨. not even a "hi" or "good morning pooks" or "how are you" 😞😞😞" (i didnt actually put full stops, these were all seperate messages)

and yk what she replied with?

"HEYY. wasnt active on snap lil bro🙏" fym wasnt active bro the only reason i even downloaded snap was so i could talk to her and she thinks this is a valid excuse? "wasnt active" is a valid excuse to practically ghost your BEST friend of basically 15 years? damn

i sent a bunch of messages (most definitely NOT casually bc icba to be polite after she pulled that shit) telling her abt my feelings on the matter. she hasnt seen them yet, and idk if i should delete them or wait for her to see it

help meeeeememememememe ☹☹

your bro knows whats up 🗣🗣

hmmmm best friend of 15 years but you've been separated since 2017, i think it's normal to have gaps in communication bc you can't talk to the same ppl every single day unless you really really get along (the only ppl i talk to on a regular basis are all internet friends and that prob says sth about me too lmao)

but your bro is right- it does feel like both the case of 'you're too attached' and 'no effort from that friend'. since you've already sent msgs telling her about your feelings, i think it will be clear to you now about what she wants and then you can make decision about what to do next accordingly? kjfhgjkdhg

i think if she wants to save this friendship she'll be clear about her feelings on this matter and maybe you'll both find a middle ground about how you're going to navigate in the future. good luck <3

[jess-oh]

what do i title this

Hello, journal!

I dont think I've actually ever reread an entry until today. A part of me was always so afraid of the shame I'd feel of who I used to be. I haven't written here in a while since I realize I kept trying to think my way out of everything which caused a severe disconnect between my heart and my mind but my therapist, Sophia Ou, encouraged me to journal again to process my thoughts but to instead focus on how I feel instead so I'm here to give it a go!

Current update on where I'm at in life. I still live in Chicago on Buena Ave in Buena Park. I started going to Planet Fitness a couple months ago and am still trying to figure out a good schedule between traditional workouts and climbing. I have a new schedule for this week and I feel pretty good about it. It consists of waking up at 6:30am Monday through Thursday where I workout before work Monday through Wednesday, climb after work Wednesday, climb before on Thursday, and after service on Sunday. I'm slowly becoming entirely too busy again. I do really enjoy serving youth group but Cara has been pushing for us, me and Khalid, to be more involved and dedicate more time to the ministry/greater church recently. I already am so busy and have been enjoying having no social plans scheduled during the week. I do my best to give her space to speak and share her ideas but sometimes it's hard to interject and communicate my thoughts and concerns. There's also some semblance of guilt that quietly goes along with it. Who am I to disagree with her stance as it relates to matters of the church when I, myself, am not all right, with God? I just really need to carve out time in my schedule to dedicate to him again. I remember around this time, last year, I was super dedicated to doing daily QTs as I was losing my mind over the potential opportunity of moving to a new city for a Google Fellowship. I have built so much of my life in Chicago and giving that all up for 6 months shook me to my very core. I don't think I was mentally prepared to take that risk then but so much has changed now. I'm not that close with Sophie and Thor anymore, I've been at a new church post Lakeview for a while now, and have generally grown as a person. I hangout with Earl and Gongjoo a lot more now, which has been great, especially getting to play with Ellia! Her first birthday was only a couple months ago! I love her so much!

If the opportunity for a new job arose today, I would still feel hesitant to take it but I feel a lot more prepared now. Thank you for knowing what I needed at that time, God.

Currently, I'm a graphic designer at Freeosk. I've technically been here for 3 years since my hire date but my full time Freeoskiversary is on June 1st. I recently started looking into UX Design and while there is still much research to do before fully making the career jump, I actually feel pretty good about pursuing this path. Even the thought of being able to research and gather data made me feel excited for some internal work on a Freeosk project recently. I need to work on my fear of public speaking and be more comfortable with presenting but I think this feels like a good idea.

God, I pray for guidance as I attempt to navigate my next steps from here. I'm not sure what you have planned for my life and I know I so often rely only on my shoulders but I definitely want to make sure I'm right by you first before actually making any life changing decisions moving forward. I don't yet know what the future holds but I am excited to found out. For once, I am excited for life and what it can bring. I am no longer so afraid of the pain but I am bright-eyed for a brighter future. Please let this future come.

I had a series of unfortunate events happen recently(e.g. scraped car door pretty bad and had to pay 2k for repairs, 2 credit cards and $100 cash stolen from wallet, my dad got laid off and still hasnt found a job in 2 months, my relationship with my sister got tense because of my disproval of her boyfriend, i realized i outgrew my friendship with sophie, and i havent been right with God lately). I've been doing my best to just keep my head held up high and push through but it has admittedly been hard and discouraging. Not yet depressing discouraging but definitely a challenge, nonetheless.

Thank you for all that you have done and will do for my life, God.

I pray this all in your name,

Amen.

[arielluva]

ive been thinking about cds a lot more recently (probably bc i ordered 2 out of 3 utena discs online (and they should be arriving on tuesday!!)) like. i ended up looking through my cds i have, thinking about burning a cd for the first time (bc my parents always just. burnt them for me so i unfortunately have never done it, and my computer is just a surface pro 4 with a keyboard attachment and as such has no disc drive)

but anyways. thinking about them got me thinking about how i honestly listened to cds consistently until very recently. like. i listened to a cd every night to go to bed for probably like. 10 years. maybe even longer than that who knows!! and it also just got me thinking about technology more in general. cds arent really. as relevant anymore. like yeah theyre still sold but since music has been becoming more and more digital and more focused on streaming it hasnt been as much of a thing. i used to have an mp3 player (which. i have no clue what happened to it)

and like. video game consoles i was used to as a kid are. getting really old now (something i was thinking about last night). the wii will be turning 18 next year, the original nintendo ds will be turning 20. the dsi (which was my first ds) will be turning 15. even the switch being a pretty recent (and still current) console is turning 7. its sooo weird to think about the passage of time and things getting older. the ds i played with when i was 6 was already kinda outdated when i got it since it was 2012 and the 3ds existed, but now the dsi is a pretty old console. 2009 doesnt seem like that long ago to me, then i have to remind myself that was the year when i was in preschool and i am now an adult

its crazy to think about how much things have changed, i used vhs tapes when i was younger to watch schoolhouse rock, had all my dvds and cds (though unfortunately my dvds are not in good shape due to little me almost never putting them back in their cases 😔) i listened to music off of my dsi primarily and thought the 3d animation in barbie and the diamond castle was peak animation, and now things are skewing towards being mostly digital, and there are so many hyperrealistic 4k type graphics out there now......

i dont even know what im rambling on about anymore its like 2 am. i just think things are cool and they also give me a crisis when i realize some things are kinda old now but. i suppose thats just something everyone goes through at some point

[abcdosaka]

i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.

this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.

i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.

tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other

idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.

tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.

im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response

she didnt even receive it T_T

idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.

and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot

see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i  think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.

ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating

[wickymicky]

i think there’s a real chance that loona, weki meki, and dreamcatcher all come back in june. and if they overlap with fromis’s promotions, then all four of my main ult groups that i’ve had since 2019 will be promoting all at once. 

tho tbh i dont think that’s likely, i think fromis and loona could definitely overlap because loona seem like theyre only days from announcing their comeback (so it could happen in late may, actually), and weki meki i think need to come back soon so hopefully early-ish in june, and they’ll probably overlap... but dreamcatcher... i have a hunch that they’ll be late june or early-to-mid july. so they probably wont overlap with fromis. this could be the closest its ever come to all four of my main ults promoting at the same time, but i think it just baaarely wont overlap. i mean for all i know, dc might not come back again until autumn, if they stick to their two-cbs-per-year thing. but i really do think they’re gonna do 3 this year, which is easier bc their first was in january lol, that gives them a lot of time. 

but so if this does happen, obviously it means that theyll all be competing against each other, but thats fine i think. the good outweighs the bad. interactions are good, and also just like... idk... i like music, and i like getting a ton of new stuff at once. twice is gonna be promoting in june anyway, so it’ll be an uphill battle even if only one other group comes back in june or whatever lol. i’d rather have them all come back during a difficult and super-stacked month than have them all wait for an “easy” month that will never come because of how stacked kpop in general is nowadays. music show wins are awesome, but they’re not the most important thing. music and performances are, lol. if groups are in it solely for wins, then they should be a sports team or something, not a music group. wins are an important goal for all of them, im sure, but i mean at the end of the day i bet what matters most to them is releasing music and performing performances that they can be proud of, so yeah, ive never had a problem with a ton of groups i like coming back at the same time and “competing” with each other. especially if they become friends haha

[no-droids]

Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))

First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭

And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).

I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)

So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.

Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻

okay

okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF

I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,

1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which

2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person

3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.

4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺

So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG

[zaptap]

ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic

since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.

also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since

notes about the bingos under the cut

really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too

would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)

when are they putting octolings in mk8d

xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3

im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year

hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something

the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ  since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)

metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)

where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)

they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2

the two sinnoh games could likely be there

would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash

we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that

it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash

whats with that watermelon mario render

i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game

im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too

nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk

been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff

miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over

and splatoon

the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group

i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return

would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun

show us the effects of the chaos world

i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance

splatnet 3 baby

cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose

abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?

salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode

amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)

returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind

maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around

squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway

as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil

remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)

better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists

hopefully theres a global testfire again

sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz

remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back

looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it

an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[monsterkitties]

please talk more abt ur simpsons self insert im in love

OK THIS WAS SENT SO LONG AGO AND NOBODY TOLD ME NOT EVEN TUMBLAR AM SORREY :(

so hihi hello im SO FRICKING!!! glad (and surprised!!!!!) you are interested in my lore. i must say though that i have much to share story wise because my brain thinks about 15 different things at once. by the time i go to bed it feels like ive been awake for TWO days instead of one

 my. SIMPSONA as the kids might say. is seraph ✨✨ short for seraphiael, and other shorthands for this name include serapheme, seraf, serif, cera, sera, etc. he/she/they/it is an angel! he sounds like LESLIE JORDAN and he looks like;

this! :3 (did nt draw that little headshot; thats a credit to eggvvhore, right there, it is) his design has changed a lot from the first drawing i posted of ‘im though BUT is technically still canon because he DOES dress like that and he DOES have longer hair which he eventually cuts and it starts to curl at the ends and then hes just got a lil poff 🌨️🌨️ :3

story stuff under a cut becauseeeeee its so self indulgent and kinda long lol

so basically reverend lovejoy is a fallen angel/not technically a demon since he hasnt died and gone to hell and hes so pissed off about god that hes like “fuck this im gonna kill your followers bitch” so like 200 years after hes fallen he starts murdering christians lowkey over the years BUT ONLY AFTER they commit a sin so he knows for SURE they’re going to hell instead of heaven

hes chilling in european parts of the world mostly at first since they love jesus the most and then when american happens, he jumps his ass right on that boat and he moves all across the bible belt for like 300 years UNTIL the 1970s when he meets helen and is like aw fuck yes oh my god holy shit finally someone who GETS me. i will marry you immediately so we can be best friends forever (eventually it evolves to something more romantic but this is how it starts out)

SO THEY MOVE TO SPRINGFIELD (and in this canon i share with two, technically three, other friends of mine, springfield is a fucked up town where like time froze at some point or some shit idk im not the friend that works on that LOL thats Shattered Man Jokis’ job)

so at this point lovejoy has been on earth for 700 years total and that equals 7 days in heaven! so hes been gone a whole week.

god like, looks down at the earth, he’s doing a routine check, whatever, HE SEES LOVEJOY AND HE’S LIKE. OHHH MY GOD HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS FUCKING MENACE IS SO CLOSE TO MY MOST LOYAL IDIOT SUCKER NED FLANDER (lovejoy is definitely planning to kill flanders) so he sends his highest ranking most powerful angel possible to kill him before he kills ned (this wasnt a decision on my part, i just looked up the name seraphiel and apparently thats literally the name of the prince of angels so i was like. ok i guess this guy is prince bitch)

preface; god is an asshole. hes just an asshole. he gets all his power from the worship people give him and his angels are powerful because halos are something that literally gives the angel connection to god’s power and also connect them to a constant stream of god’s thoughts so instantly they know exactly what he wants done at any time (halos can be broken or ripped off; breaking them allows the connection to fade away which still leaves you with abilities for quite a little while after but ripping it off severs your connection permanently and removes almost all magical properties and is EXTREMELY painful. this is reserved for angels who have been banished from heaven USUALLY)

preface 2; after falling lovejoy’s only supernatural qualities he’s retained after so long are MINOR EXTREMELY minor shapeshifting and he’s crazy strong (his str + def are sososo high but nothing else really lol)

so seraph gets there, lovejoy immediately knows who he is, they get into an anime fight because those are my favorite types of fights, destroying everything wow awesome big huge and then somehow its fine three days later

seraph loses! because i think lovejoy is just that determined about not dying + he has plot armor, and they fight a couple more times, and seraph loses some more, so seraf’s like FUCK this i guess. and just decides to literally stalk the shit out of reverend to make sure he doesnt kill anyone else (”YOU COULD HAVE JUST LET ME KILL YOU BUT NOOOOOOW I HAVE TO STAND HERE, RIGHT HERE, SEVEN FEET BEHIND YOU, FOREVER.”)

he really doesnt need to do this? but hes so so fucking mad that he couldnt kill lovejoy he’s like “i cannot go back to the Lord and be like. yeah i fucking failed” ARE YOU KIDDING HE’LL DIE. so instead he just intently follows lovejoys every move

eventually they form a relationship and then they kiss and then seraph and helen kiss and they all kiss and wow its content not for anything other than for me to be interested in. all of this is tailored to me bc i really liked lovejoys design/voice/personality and it spiraled from there :)

there’s more stuff after and even between this shit but it involves other peoples characters and this is already a lot SO if anyone is interested in our self indulgent little au? send another ask go right ahead 💖 id love to answerb

[myriadimagines]

End Of The Year Faves 2020!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

i was tagged by the lovely @lxncelot & @musicallisto !!!

i’ve only written 10 one shots this year since i stopped taking requests rip. i only ended up picking 5 of them bc i didnt like the rest. also i love talking about the behind the scenes of writing like its just so fun. i literally went through my revision history in my google docs to see how i wrote these akjsdhasjd so literally........... if anyone wants to talk to me about a piece........... just shoot me an ask bc i will gladly tell u all about it

1. Lifetimes (Sebastien le Livre) 

this might be my number one bc it’s the most recent and i havent decided i hate it yet but wrote this as an alternative to therapy lmfaooooooo and it’s been a month but um. it still hurts. but anyway, i started off with the below paragraph:

And Booker has centuries of pain under his belt. Endless years of trauma that he cannot even begin to unpack. But you don’t have centuries. You don’t have lifetimes to reconcile with all the cruelty in the world  —  you just have one, and Booker knows he of all people should know just how much hurt one lifetime can contain.

and just worked around it, bc i was just really obsessed with the concept of having multiple lifetimes and all that, and just the fact that life has so much pain and hurt and it just sucks. i edited the first sentence for the final but otherwise it’s the same. i think i came up with some pretty good lines in this if i do say so myself, and i mentioned it in the a/n, but i intended for it to be longer but didn’t want to push it after i feel like i had written all i wanted to. i just wanted someone to hold me and comfort me clearly. 

2. Cursed Blood (Renfri)

i am obsessed with renfri as a character and her whole story, and the whole concept of her being cursed just felt like something that i really wanted to explore and write about. these were the first lines i wrote for the piece:

But every time you kiss her, you swear that it’s impossible her lips could be poison. Or perhaps you grew so used it, that the poison tasted sweet. 

i ended up editing this a lot for the final version, but a trend in my writing seems to be i always come up with how to end a piece and just work around it. i really enjoyed going into depth into renfri’s character and it kinda felt more like a character study than a reader insert? but eventually i found a way to work the reader in there and i liked where the story went, bc renfri deserves happiness and someone to be there for her.

3. Roadside (Robin Buckley)

still in shock at how many notes this one got and i am forever grateful to everyone who reblogged/left comments!!! this was for lacey’s ( @moonlit-imagines ) writing challenge, and idk why when i saw the prompt i immediately decided to use robin. for this one, i actually started with the beginning, which was the prompt, “Let’s take a walk. Just you and me.”

i mentioned this in the a/n, but i planned it to be a lot more angsty and wasn’t even planning on ending it on a happy note askjdhaksd the original plot i had in mind was that robin and the reader were into each other but were dancing around each other’s feelings. so one night, the reader drunkenly kisses steve at a party to try and make robin jealous, but it ends up just causing a rift between robin and the reader even after they confess their feelings. here is a part i wrote for the original plot before i decided to scrap it and go with the final plot.

“Look, I don’t even care if you and Steve get together.” Robin waves her hand, and you’re not used to seeing such disappointment on your best friend’s face as she lets out a shaky breath. She looks as if she’s struggling to collect herself before she asks, “I just… why did you lie to me?”

“I didn’t.” you desperately blurt, and Robin’s eyebrows furrow. Shaking your head, you take a step towards her as you explain, “I didn’t lie, Robin, I swear. I don’t like Steve. What happened at the party meant nothing—”

Robin scoffs. “Then why—”

“—because I wanted you to see.” you finally confess, and Robin stares at you. You’re shaking, tears welling in your eyes as you continue, “Because I thought I could make you jealous, because I was just too afraid to make a move and wanted you too. And I know that’s silly of me, and I never meant to hurt your feelings—”

i changed the plot because i didn’t think i could pull it off, and i didn’t know how to fully end it. i liked where it ended up going anyway after the change of direction so all good!!

4. Games (Michael Gray)

so this was inspired by a gif imagine request that @fangirlsarah16 sent me, which you can find here!! you can literally see me already plotting for the piece in the tags aksjdha i just loved how angsty the situation was, and i love michael, so i decided to just run with it. i put what i had already written into a document and just pieced everything in around it. this is definitely one of my more dramatic pieces, but i just loved how the story came together and how all the other characters were included. 

i already planned to write a part 2 while i was still writing this piece, but obviously that hasnt happened yet. also i got discouraged bc i thought it would do better in terms of notes but oh well. i wrote around 300 words of where i wanted part 2 to go, and i still have it saved, but i dont want to share it in case i end up writing it. also, i have 2 plots in mind for where i want part 2 to go, and haven’t decided which one i want to go with. we’ll have to wait and see i guess >:)

5. Off Limits (Cassian Andor)

ah yes, the first in my rewrite project that is going along very slowly. basically, im planning on rewriting my super old one shots in hopes that i’ll like them. i swear i’ve got the next one shot in my drafts but i just havent had the time to finish it yet. anyway, the original piece, which i wrote 4 years ago (!!!!), was the piece that really got my blog started and helped me get activity/attention, and it has around 500 notes, which kinda makes the new version look depressing bc it only has 97 and it’s definitely a lot better in my opinion. 

i don’t really have a detailed process for this one, seeing as i was just improving upon an old piece, but one of the main things i did want to change was cassian’s characterisation. i felt like i just made him too mean in my old piece, and i wanted to loosen him up a bit. i managed to bang this one in one day and i just think it’s some cute content and i miss the rogue one squad!!

i’m tagging @moonlit-imagines @emcon-imagines @lotsoffandomimagines @dannyboy-writes @murswrites @randomfandomimagine @sonsofeorl @spxder-mxns & all other content creators that see this!! i’m definitely missing a lot but everyone should share their favorite pieces from this year :’)