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salemwritesxx · 3 years

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𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 | 𝓾𝓷𝓯𝓲𝔁𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮

𝔹 𝕒 𝕜 𝕦 𝕘 𝕠 𝕦 𝕂 𝕒 𝕥 𝕤 𝕦 𝕜 𝕚

⇴ male reader [24, pro-hero, alpha, quirk: ice-phoenix] ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ summary: Bakugou and [Your.name] were dating, about to get married. Though one morning, everything that was dear to [Your.name] was brutally ripped away when he found a letter from his fiancé. Katsuki was gone, no traces left behind. And now, after three years [Your.name] was suddenly confronted with the reason when he meets his ex-fiancé again in a small town in Hokkaido.

↣ rating: mature ↣ warnings: abo universe, male pregnancy mentioned, angst version – if you want to read the happy ending version read here.

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Walking along the streets, you didn’t have a destination in mind. Just walking around and letting fresh air clear your fogged up brain. You had been overthinking – again. It was one of those days were you couldn’t help but think back to three years ago. Tomorrow three years ago would have been the date were you and Katsuki would have said “Yes”, but alas… it all came differently.

Running your hand through your hair, you sighed deeply.

“I need to stop thinking about this. It’s been so long! Like this, I will never be able to forget him.”

But how were you supposed to forget the love of your life? Especially when it all came so quickly and out of nowhere? One day everything was fine, the next, he was gone. And as much as you tried to find him, despite him stating in the letter you shouldn’t try, it was all in vain anyways. It’s as if Bakugou Katsuki had never existed. Even his parents, that were always very much in love with you as their son-in-law, completely ignored you and cut you off.

It was such a deep cut, even time wasn’t able to heal anything. The last three years were rough. Sleepless nights were a normal thing by now. And while media praised you for working so hard on your hero career, you just pushed yourself like that so you wouldn’t need to think about the past. Because when you were working, it all just faded away.

However, after collapsing one day, the agency forced you to take time off and so you landed in Hokkaido. Far away from the bustling streets of Tokyo, your gloomy small apartment and your work place. With nothing to do, you found yourself overthinking day and night. If you just could ask him one question.

Why?

Putting on his scent-blocking collar, Bakugou suddenly felt a little tugging on his t-shirt, hence he looked down. [Eye.color], big eyes stared at him and the toothy smile immediately had him smiling as well.

“Are you ready to go outside, Hiroto?”, he asked his son who looked so much like you, reminding him every day what he had done.

“MH! Can I bring Popo?”, Hiroto’s big eyes sparkled a little, making it very difficult for Katsuki to say no, hence he nodded a little.

Watching his son, it only took a few moments before he came back with his stuffed animal, it was a phoenix. Rather, it was your merchandise. It… was complicated.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeess!”

And so, Katsuki locked the door behind him, leaving to go for a walk around the block and a quick park visit.

Leaning against a bridge, you stared down, still pondering. If you had just acted differently, maybe you could have saved your relationship. Whatever it was you had done, it pushed him away from you and it was eating you inside to not know what the reason was.

You didn’t know how many hours you had been wandering around town, trying to stop thinking, but as always, you only thought harder the less you had to do. Hence why you decided to go back to the inn you were staying at.

After hours outside, Hiroto was tired, his plushy Popo hugged tightly against his chest as he silently walked besides Bakugou along the streets. One more time, Katsuki tried to pick his son up, “Hiro? Want me to carry you home? Aren’t you tired?”

“NHN!”, he shook his head, “Daddy is never tired when he fights the bad guys! So I am also not tired.”

Hiroto was stubborn as he kept walking besides Bakugou who was just sighing a little. It was his own fault, but he couldn’t lie to his son. Without even thinking about it, Katsuki talked about you whenever you were on TV. He didn’t know why he just couldn’t keep quiet about you being Hiroto’s father. So now, whenever you were on TV, Bakugou had to lie and say you were in another country fighting the bad guys, even though you were still in Tokyo, mere 4 hours away with the train. But Katsuki couldn’t come back. Not after he had hurt you so much. It was his decision to raise Hiroto alone. You deserved to be successful, it had been your dream. Kids just weren’t a thing you had planned for, at least not with 21.

Being caught up in his own thoughts, Bakugou didn’t see you on the other side of the street. Neither did you see him. Both of you staring ahead, thinking back to three years ago, what had been and what it could have become. However, something connected you both. You never had a chance to bond with him, was it a tradition in your alpha family to bond during the wedding night, but your connection was different. Said connection was looking up and across the street.

Hiroto just looked around tiredly when he saw someone. Someone he had seen on TV multiple times. The little boy didn’t know how many times he had wanted Katsuki to show him YouTube videos of you fighting.

“HAAAHHH!? DADDY!?”, a piercing cry came from the little one, shaking you and Katsuki awake. The latter immediately grabbing Hiroto, but.. it was too late.

“HIRO?!”, he yelled, though his son ran across the streets.

You, on the other hand, were so incredibly confused. There he was, standing literally on the other side and then there was a little child, running towards you and calling for you. Was this the “Why?” you had searched for, for so long? You couldn’t think about it when your legs moved on their own to get the kid out of a potential dangerous situation.

It was a blessing that the small town didn’t have much traffic, hence why you could easily run towards him, scoop him up and get back to the safe sidewalks in mere seconds. You didn’t want to imagine what could have happened in a busy city like Tokyo.

Then you stood there, awkwardly holding Hiroto who was crying and sobbing into your t-shirt while Katsuki’s own emotions were all over the place. The Omega had never imagined the possible chance of meeting you again. After three years, all he had built up from scratch to have a comfortable life far, far away from you, as to not disturb your career, it all broke apart.

However, Bakugou wasn’t the only one hearing something shattering, your own heart dropped into your stomach. The already broken pieces shattering more when you saw the pure horror displayed on his face. This was not how you imagined meeting him again. He hated you. You were certain of that. Whatever you had done to him, he never wanted to see you again. It all was so clear to you now it almost brought you to tears then and there.

Your inner Alpha was strongly urging you to just grab him, Katsuki was your Omega, even if you never had a chance to mark him, that’s just how it was. He was yours. But…

Slowly pushing your son away you put him into Bakugou’s arms. There were no words said, the only thing disturbing the silence was Hiroto’s sobbing. Especially when you loosened his tight grip on your t-shirt, he started squirming and screaming, trying to grab onto you more. He had seen you on TV so many times and now you were right in front of him. Yet, Hiroto had to watch when you turned around and left him behind.

You had so many questions rushing through your head, but at the same time, you couldn’t bring yourself to utter them out loud. Not after seeing Bakugou’s expression. This was never supposed to happen. Even if your heart yearned for answers, especially regarding his son… your son?

Without thinking about it, Katsuki put Hiroto down to let him run after you once again. It was such an impulse thing to do, he truly didn’t know why he had done it. Though after three years, why should he hide anymore when you had seen everything now? Also… after so long, he might have not been able to ignore his heart’s desire and yearning any longer.

It was so incredibly hard to ignore Hiroto’s crying and just walk away as if it had never happened, but for the sake of Katsuki’s happiness, you chose to go. However, a sudden tug made you stop. Looking down you saw ice around your ankles. It was weak and thin, easily breakable really. Hiroto’s? When you turned around, he had already clutched your leg tightly. Why?

When you looked back up, Bakugou also stood in front of you, his ruby eyes shimmering a little.

“Do you … want to talk?”, he finally asked, his voice breaking at the end though as he tried his hardest not to cry. What was he doing? It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen you in like three weeks, it had been YEARS since he left without any other word. Why would you even want to have anything to do with him or Hiroto?

“Yes!”, you said and it truly caught the Omega off-guard. After everything he put you through… If he was in your position he probably would have been so angry and furious, but you just seemed exhausted and tired.

But finally, you would be getting some answers.

All night long, you couldn’t sleep. After you had calmed down Hiroto enough, Bakugou gave you a little piece of paper with his address on it. “I work until 7. So we can talk without any disturbance.”, he said when he gave you the information. It was probably for the best. You didn’t want to imagine what would happen when your feelings would overcome you out in a café. [Your.hero.name] seen screaming in Hokkaido – you could see the news all over the internet already. So, it was probably for the best to meet him at home.

But that didn’t mean you weren’t nervous. How had your ex-fiancé been living his life the past three years? It was all exciting and scary at the same time to find out those things.

When you knocked on his door, your inner Alpha was impatiently pacing up and down. It was as nervous as you. But when the door opened and Katsuki stood there, you were sure for the first time in the last 12 hours, that it wasn’t a dream. Walking inside was heaven and hell at the same time. Everything smelled like him. The Omega’s scent was so familiar, but another one was mixed in – probably Hiroto’s.

“A friend of mine is looking after Hiroto tonight so he won’t be dragged into this.”, he said, nervously fumbling with his scent-blocking collar.

It was weird wearing it at home, but for you and himself, he had to wear it. His Omega had been going in circles ever since he met you again yesterday. It wanted to be taken and to be honest, Bakugou was also close to surrender to you. But it wasn’t that easy. You probably had so many questions.

“Oh… Yeah that’s for the best. Katsuki.”, you suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallways.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry I can't wait, but you need to tell me now. Hiroto, he… called me Daddy and he has an ice quirk… so I am not wrong to assume that he is… our son?”

Katsuki could vividly feel your emotions, the Omega was shuddering, his throat dry and hands sweatier than usual.

“Yeah…”, was all he could choke out.

“Oh.. my God.”, you just mumbled to yourself. Hearing it out loud was like another punch in your stomach.

“Did you… leave me when you were pregnant?”, was your next question, still standing in the middle of the hallway.

However, Katsuki couldn’t even blame you. There were so many questions left unanswered.

“We were too young…”, his ruby eyes were shimmering again with tears, but he tried his best to keep them at bay.

“Too young?”, you were speechless for a moment, before looking back, “Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you just… leave? Why… did you do everything yourself?!”

Now you were finally angry. After so long, you just couldn’t understand why he would leave you without saying anything. It could have all come differently if Katsuki would have just been honest!

“You had your career?! A baby didn’t just… fucking fit into our lifestyle! What else could I have done?!”, Bakugou yelled back. He knew it would come to this.

“SO?! You also had your career, we were both working hard to become well-known heroes so that’s not a fucking excuse. What else?? You seriously ask me?!”, you gestured wildly.

“You wouldn’t have wanted to raise a child, it was too soon!”

“It was NOT your right to decide that for me!”, you yelled, your voice breaking as tears welled up.

Bakugou once again being a little taken aback. His heart was racing and his tears so close to falling.

“You could have asked me, we could have worked it out.”, the first tears successfully fought their way out as they rolled over your cheeks.

“I loved you SO MUCH. If it was possible I would have literally brought you the stars from the sky. I would have done anything. And you? You just leave. Without anything but a letter telling me you cannot marry me. Do you have the slightest idea how I felt?”, your voice was shaking and breaking here and there, but it was freeing to finally let it all out.

“I thought it was for the best. I didn’t know what to do.“, Bakugou’s voice was so uncharacteristically weak and small.

“You didn’t know?? Did you never trust me, Katsuki? Was I just- such a horrible Alpha to you? Did you think I’d force you to an abortion? Was I not good enough to be a father?!”, you asked trying so hard not to scream, but all these pent up feelings, it all just gushed out without any sort of valve to stop yourself.

“That’s not it! I knew you wouldn’t do that, I just-“

“WHAT? Please tell me why! Why?! Why was I not worthy to be your mate? Why did you refuse to tell me and just leave?! Why did you choose raising OUR baby alone, I-“

“I DON’T KNOW, OKAY?! I don’t know! It was a fucking stupid decision out of nowhere!”, he finally screamed back, tears cascading down his face.

“Don’t you think I have regretted it? Do you think I LIKE being a single parent?! I know I fucked up. I know I threw it all away because I panicked, okay?! I just panicked and before I knew it I was on the train.”, Katsuki sobbed, desperately wiping away his tears.

“We were so fucking young! We had planned to marry, we were talking about saving up for the future to build a house, to have a family in like 10 years or more. But… But I just messed up! I forgot to take my medication before going into Heat, it was my fault I got pregnant- I… I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. Throw everything we planned out the window because I was too fucking stupid to remember.”, his voice broke horribly, being squeaky from time to time as Bakugou’s guilt just overflowed.

The Omega was shaking and instinctively, you and your inner Alpha wanted to protect him. Hence why you wiped away your tears and took a deep breath to calm yourself.

“I know I messed up. Fuck.”, he cried and yet laughed at himself. Hands buried in his hair, Bakugou just wanted to cease to exist in that moment. He had done so many things wrong in his life. The only good thing that had ever happened was meeting you and falling in love with you and even that he destroyed.

He was gasping for air due to talking nonstop while gesturing with his hands wildly. And then, you just hugged him. Your Alpha scent surrounding him and soothing him. Your arms strong and warm, just perfect to melt into them and let everything loose. Oh, how he had missed that.

“I just… wish you had given me a choice. I wish you would have trusted me more. I would have done anything for you and our baby. It would have been hard, I know, but I am sure we would have been able to make it work.”, you quietly said while soothingly caressing his back and letting a quiet, calming purr erupt from your throat. A sign how close you truly were as you would never purr for anyone else than Bakugou.

“I’m sorry.”, Bakugou sobbed and clawed at your clothes, “I love you and I missed you and.. it was so hard alone, but I know I don’t have any fucking right to complain about it because it’s all my fault and I hurt you so much and-“

You hugged him a little tighter.

“I regret everything, I… I… can you forgive me? Can you give me a second chance? I know I don’t deserve it. I know…”

Had you ever seen him so weak before? No. And it truly tugged on your heart strings. There is nothing you wanted more. Get back together. Be happy again. But-

“Katsuki… have you ever thought of coming back to me? Like, if I had never shown up, if I had never found out… wouldn’t you keep on living without me just fine? Don’t you think this is your guilty conscious speaking? You don’t want me. You don’t need me.”

That was the last thing you said before you pulled back from him at last. Bakugou was quite speechless, just staring at you, red, swollen eyes and a tear-stained face made it hard to just go. But it was for the better. Even if he had regretted it, he was never pushed so far as to come back to you. Like that, maybe it was for the best.

Though before you could turn away, he grabbed your hand.

“Katsuki…”

“I wanted… during the pregnancy, after Hiroto was born and every time I saw you on TV, I was so close to leaving all of this. But at that point, I was too fucking scared. I had no right to go back… There are so many letters I’ve written and never sent. [Your.name], I… I literally have a suitcase ready to go. I’ve been waiting for some sort of sign or I don’t know and now? You’re here. Right here in front of me. I know it’s foolish and I’m stupid and have no fucking right to demand this from you, but please… Let me come back. Please forgive me. Please… be Hiroto’s father.”

He had never in his life begged. His superiority complex definitely wouldn’t allow for any of that, but right now was different. He realized the hurt he had caused. How wrong he was. Bakugou had regretted running away in the first week of living in Hokkaido. He always told himself it was “the right thing”. So maybe it was pathetic that he came crawling back, but if there was a slight chance you would take him back, he just had to take it.

You just sighed. Your heart was confused. While your heart screamed yes over and over again, your brain was telling you no. What if it was just a spur of the moment thing? What if he would leave you again when things would get tough? You still loved him. There was no doubt about it. But was that enough? Loving him hadn’t been enough to stop him from vanishing. It hadn’t stopped him from running away and not telling you about his pregnancy.

All you wanted to do was come back, forget everything and love him. The urge to throw yourself at him was almost unbearable, but…

“I’m sorry…”, you croaked when you gently pushed his hand away, “I can’t forgive you.”

It was for the better. Even if it hurt, even if all you had wanted to do was to get back together these past three years, now that you knew the reason? You simply couldn’t. It hurt too much. Knowing he had hidden your son from you all this time. If you had never accidentally met him, Katsuki would have never tried to find and tell you about your son. You would have never known Hiroto existed if it wasn’t for that accidental meeting.

You had so many unanswered questions and now that you had answers to them it was impossible to forget what had happened. He left you. He betrayed your trust. Even if he did have a suitcase ready to go, even if he did have letters that were never sent – what did it matter? The hard truth was, despite his suitcase and unsent letters, he was still in Hokkaido. He was still living alone with Hiroto and he was still managing just fine without you.

Bakugou broke down completely. He knew it. And he knew he deserved it, but hearing it out loud was too much.

“I will be... there for Hiroto and not leave him alone again.”, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down, though it didn’t really help.

“But I can’t be together with you again. You hurt me too much. I’ve struggled to find a reason to stand up in the morning for so long, wondering what I did wrong, what I have done that drove you away. Having to contact each and every one of our friends and my family to tell them we canceled the wedding because you left… was the most humiliating and painful thing I ever had to endure. And then to find out it’s because of… this… It’s too much Katsuki, I can’t do it. I wish you would have just been honest back then…”, you struggled to talk as you wiped away your tears.

Your inner Alpha was howling sorrowfully. Katsuki’s inner Omega was weeping bitterly.

But you both understood and so, when you turned to walk away, Bakugou stayed behind. There was no point in fighting anymore. As much as he was hurt, as much as he wanted to cling onto you and not let you go. He knew he deserved it. He did have everything back then. A loving family, an amazing mate, a successful, thriving career as a hero and then he threw it all away because he couldn’t be honest with the one he loved the most.

All those years he had still hoped that one day you would forgive him. Maybe one day, everything would be alright, but Katsuki was wrong. Nothing would be alright. Some broken things just couldn’t be fixed anymore no matter how hard someone tried to glue them back together. The relationship had shattered into million little pieces when he left that day three years ago.

And now, he had to watch as you walked out of his apartment and didn’t turn back again.

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@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

⇻ salem.talks: I think someone’s cutting onions in here AGAIN. well, I thought before I post the second part to the happy ending, it’s a good decision to post the angst version first. hope everyone got a good cry out of it!

#salemswriting.#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x male reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x male reader #omega bakugou #abo #angst

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evienyx · 3 years

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DSMP Citizens POV 5: The L'Manburg Captain

DSMPsona created by anon

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Bones was, to say it simply, sick of fighting.

The Guard had been fighting other people’s battles for as long as he could remember. Being raised by two guards on Hypixel, he grew up around fighting. He would be there as his parents broke up violent fights in lobbies, as they enforced the server rules when the admins couldn’t, and he watched as they slowly turned to him to teach him to do the same.

He had become a guard himself, but he grew weary of the fast-paced life of Hypixel. The server was always updating, always changing, and with the highest and fastest-growing population of any server, it was hard to keep track of what was going on.

So, eventually, Bones picked up his things, went to the server hub, and left.

He bounced from one smaller survival server to another, eventually hearing about something called the ‘Dream SMP’ server. Knowing that he had nothing better to do, the Guard decided to join it.

He spawned in a spruce forest, walled in on every side. There were others around the server portal that he had just emerged from, all milling around.

“What’s going on?” Bones asked someone nearby.

The woman he had addressed sighed, and she sounded exhausted. “We’re all just waiting to be greeted.”

After another hour, Dream, a man famous for both his parkour and combat skills, appeared and greeted the newest members of the server. He hadn’t realized that the Dream was the Admin of this world.

Two others stood next to the Admin. One, dressed in regal apparel, wore dark sunglasses over their eyes, a crown resting over their brow. The other wore what looked to be a war uniform. His hands folded behind his back, his gaze steady as it swept over the crowd, he had a firm smile on his face.

The first introduced herself as King Eret, leader of the Greater SMP, while the second called himself President Wilbur Soot, the head of a newly-formed country known as L’Manburg.

The Guard, who considered himself to always be on the side of the people, heard that L’Manburg had recently gained independence after fighting a Revolution in order to “free themselves from tyranny.” The Guard moved into L’Manburg the next day.

He was given a free place to live for a month, giving him time to acclimate to the server, as well as get a job to be able to actually get his own place. Not knowing what else to do, Bones joined the L’Manburg army. He didn’t care for fighting, but it was the only thing that he was good at.

His reputation from Hypixel preceded him, apparently. Being a guard on the biggest server was a very respected career, and Bones found it easy to move up the ranks rather quickly. It probably helped that the L’Manburg forces were rather lacking in terms of officers with actual experience. Guard training on Hypixel was often more intense than many servers’ military training programs, as well, so Bones had no trouble dominating in L’Manburg’s program.

When the elections occurred, the Soldier proudly cast his vote for President Soot and VP Tommy. Bones voted for the people, and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit were for the people.

The election results, then, were upsetting, to say the least. Bones refused to listen as the new President Schlatt exiled the previous administration and called on the forces of L’Manburg to kill them. He stood in place, nails digging into his palm and screaming profanities as President Soot was bowed down and VP Tommy managed to just barely slip away.

That evening, while on patrol (which he had been demoted to for a month after his show during the inauguration), Bones spotted someone in the treeline.

“Who’s there?” The Soldier called. There was nothing for a moment and Bones aimed his crossbow at the forest. The bushes rustled and then TommyInnit stepped out, his hands raised above his head.

“Vice President?” Bones asked, lowering the crossbow. The leaves shifted again and another emerged. The Soldier blinked, shock holding him in place. “Technoblade?”

Technoblade raised an eyebrow and glanced down at VP Tommy. “Do I need to kill this guy?”

VP Tommy shook his head emphatically. “I don’t think so.” He turned back to Bones. “Do we need to kill you?”

“Are you starting a rebellion?” Bones asked, ignoring the question. A nod was given in response, and his shoulders sagged in relief. “Can I join?”

VP Tommy grinned up at Technoblade. “Told you!” The teenager looked back at the Soldier. “Go ask Niki! Wil said she’s making a rebellion inside Manburg, he sent her the Pogtopia coordinates!”

Bones nodded. “You best be going. I’m meant to be on patrol.”

VP Tommy lazily saluted and bolted off into the woods. Technoblade stared at Bones, gave him a curt nod, and then was gone as well.

The next day, after getting the location of the rebellionfrom Niki Nihachu, Bones gathered his valuables, his beloved dog Rosa, and ran. As he wove through the trees, following the beeping of the communicator to reach the correct coordinates, the Soldier wondered if he would be demoted for this.

He knocked on the rock wall the way that he had been shown to at the bakery, and it slid open to reveal an exhausted-looking President Soot.

The man’s eyes lit up when they landed on him.

“Captain Bones!” President Soot exclaimed, reaching out a hand to shake it firmly. Bones ignored how shaky the other’s fingers were. “What brings you here?” He paused. “Are you here to capture us? Because we’re not on L’Manburg land.”

Bones shook his head. “I heard you’re starting a rebellion?”

Soot’s eyes widened, and then he grinned and ushered the Captain inside.

Pogtopia was a ravine with grayed stones that reflected the mood of all who lived there. Bones started teaching a combat course for those who didn’t know how to fight, and the determination that shone in the eyes of teenagers who were just now choosing to pick up a weapon made him wonder when it had all come to this.

The Captain’s days in Pogtopia were not particularly memorable. He watched as President Soot slowly delved deeper and deeper in paranoia, to the point where he started accusing people like Bones, who had been in the rebellion since the beginning, of being spies all along.

Bones would dig his fingers in the fur of his dog on days like these and remember the inspiring leader that President Soot had once been.

Then, they won against Manburg on November 16th, and President Soot blew up the country before dying himself, and the Captain watched as President Tubbo stood in front of the people of L’Manburg and made promises of a brighter future.

And for a bit of time, it seemed like that could be true.

Then, though, as all good things do, the happiness came to an abrupt end as it was announced that VP Tommy had griefed the vacation home of GeorgeNotFound, the recently-crowned king of the Greater SMP. Dream, the Admin of the server himself, offered President Tubbo a choice: Exile TommyInnit, or their two factions would go to war.

The people of L’Manburg were all generally on the same page, screaming in the streets about how they were ready to fight again. TommyInnit was one of the founding members of the country, he had been there since the beginning. For Bones, though, above all else, it was about the fact that VP Tommy was a teenager. The Captain took to the streets with the others, calling out their readiness to go to war.

When VP Tommy was exiled, then, and sent off to some far-off island, Bones was back in the streets again, yelling at the top of his lungs about the injustice done against a child, thanks to the work of a foreign power.

“L’Manburg has never bowed down at the will of Dream before!” He exclaimed. “We aren’t going to start now!” His call was echoed by those around him, as the people called for justice to be served.

Weeks passed with the people of L’Manburg being tense and angry, the air stewing with conflict. On the eve of January 5th, the people were gathered and listened as President Tubbo, with VP Tommy somehow by his side, explained that the next day, their country would be destroyed.

That night, Bones moved Rosa and all the things that he actually cared about to his assigned tent at the campsite offered up to the L’Manburg residents. As people trickled into the camp, the Captain took anyone who wanted to try and fight the next day and continued the training sessions he’d led back in Pogtopia. There was a greater level of melancholy that had fallen over the people, but they listened nonetheless, and Bones taught and taught until his eyes were stinging from unshed tears and his muscles burned all through his body.

“Get some sleep,” President Tubbo said, joining Bones on the makeshift stage he had taken so that the whole crowd that he was training could see him. “You all are going to need it. Thank you for working so hard to fight for our country.” The teenager wiped at his eyes, and Bones realized through his exhaustion that the president was crying, too. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” President Tubbo nodded to the Captain, stepped off the stage, and was gone.

Doomsday was, to say the least, a disaster. L’Manburg was blown down to bedrock, there was nothing anyone could do, and by the end of it, Bones stood with the people of a ruined country and looked down at what remained of their home: A hole, one so deep and wide that nothing would ever be built there again.

King Eret stood next to President Tubbo and VP Tommy, overlooking the destruction.

“L’Manburg is gone,” President Tubbo finally said, addressing the crowd. “There will be no rebuilding from this. I’m so sorry, everyone.” Tears were streaming down his face. “L’Manburg was meant to be a safe place, somewhere that people could come to be happy and free. Maybe that was how it was in the beginning, but we lost our way. Maybe in another world, things could have been different.” The teenager laughed wetly, his eyes red as he turned to look at the people. “We did it wrong, but, hey, at least we tried.” He sniffed. “Maybe next time, we’ll do it better.” President Tubbo stopped talking, and everyone was silent for a moment. Then, King Eret began speaking.

“The campsite will remain set up for three more months. You may stay there while you search for a new place to live, whether that be somewhere on this server or on a different one entirely,” King Eret explained, her hands folded neatly behind her back. They glanced back at the crater, and Bones swore he saw a single tear trickle down their face. “L’Manburg was an inspiration to all of the server,” King Eret said. “It will be mourned for centuries.”

Bones, now a veteran of a fallen nation, stayed on the server. He found a piece of land, outside of the borders of the Greater SMP, and settled down there. He learned to farm from a family that lived within the Greater SMP’s territory, and purchased livestock and seeds so he could begin a new life.

The Veteran, with Rosa at his side, settled down for a quieter life. Maybe things would be better now, he supposed. Maybe here, in land that belonged to no one but himself, with no elections to worry about or wars to fight, Bones would be all right. Maybe now, finally, the server could begin to heal, to eventually rise up and fight against the tyranny of their Admin so that peace could finally reign.

(When the news came in on the communicators, then, that Dream had been captured and imprisoned within the maximum security cell of Pandora’s Vault, Bones joined the people in the street, cheering until his voice gave out and drinking until he passed out from happiness.

Then, he buried his face in Rosa’s fur and let out a genuine laugh for the first time in months.

Finally, finally, things could get better.)

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 4 years

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The Boundless Optimism of BTS

IT IS THE MORNING OF CHUSEOK, A KOREAN HARVEST FESTIVAL akin to Thanksgiving, and the members of BTS would normally be spending it with their families, eating tteokguk, a traditional rice-cake soup. Instead, Jin, 28; Suga, 27; J-Hope, 26; RM, 26; Jimin, 25; V, 24; and Jung Kook, 23, are working. Practicing. Honing their choreography. In a few days, the biggest musical act in the world will perform in the live-stream concert that, for now, will have to stand in for the massive tour they spent the first part of this year rehearsing. At this moment, they’re seated inside Big Hit Entertainment headquarters in Seoul, South Korea, the house they built, dressed mostly in black and white, ready to answer my questions. They’re gracious about it. And groggy.

Before I’m done speaking with them for this story, BTS will have the number-one and number-two songs on the BillboardHot 100, a feat that’s been achieved only a handful of times in the sixty-odd years the chart has existed. Their next album, Be, is weeks away from being released, and speculation about the record, the tracklist, the statement, is rampant across the Internet. BTS are, to put it mildly, huge.

There is something about complete world domination that can really cement a friendship. What jumps out at me as I connect with the members of BTS is their level of comfort with one another. Tension has a way of making itself evident—even over Zoom, even through a translator. There’s none to be found here. They are relaxed in the manner of family. Lounging with their arms around each other’s shoulders, tugging on each other’s sleeves, fixing each other’s collars. When they speak about one another, it is with kindness.

“Jimin has a particular passion for the stage and really thinks about performance, and in that sense, there are many things to learn from him,” J-Hope says. “Despite all the things he has accomplished, he still tries his best and brings something new to the table, and I really want to applaud him for that.”

“Thank you for saying all these things about me,” Jimin responds.

Jimin turns his attention to V, explaining that he is “loved by so many” and describing him as one of his best friends. Suga jumps in, sharing that Jimin and V fight the most among the group. V replies, “We haven’t fought in three years!” They tell me this distinction now belongs to Jin and Jung Kook, the oldest and youngest members. “It all starts as a joke, but then it gets serious,” Jimin says.

Jin agrees and recounts what their arguments sound like. “Why did you hit me so hard?” he says, before mimicking Jung Kook’s response: “I didn’t hit you that hard.” And then they start hitting each other. But not that hard.

Since the start of their careers, BTS have shown a certain confidence in their aesthetic, their performances, and their music videos. It’s right there in the name: BTS stands for “Bangtan Sonyeondan,” which translates to “Bulletproof Boy Scouts,” but as their popularity grew in English-speaking markets, the acronym was retrofitted to mean “Beyond the Scene,” which Big Hit has described as “symbolizing youth who don’t settle for their current reality and instead open the door and go forward to achieve growth.” And their affection with one another, their vulnerability and emotional openness in their lives and in their lyrics, strikes me as more grown-up and masculine than all the frantic and perpetual box-checking and tone-policing that American boys force themselves and their peers to do. It looks like the future.

“There is this culture where masculinity is defined by certain emotions, characteristics. I’m not fond of these expressions,” Suga tells me. “What does being masculine mean? People’s conditions vary day by day. Sometimes you’re in a good condition; sometimes you aren’t. Based on that, you get an idea of your physical health. And that same thing applies mentally. Some days you’re in a good state; sometimes you’re not. Many pretend to be okay, saying that they’re not ‘weak,’ as if that would make you a weak person. I don’t think that’s right. People won’t say you’re a weak person if your physical condition is not that good. It should be the same for the mental condition as well. Society should be more understanding.”

When I hear these words in October 2020, from my house in a country whose leader is actively trying to make the case that only the weak die of COVID-19, well, it sounds like the future, too.

IF YOU ARE JUST NOW CONSIDERING GETTING INTO BTS, IT IS natural to feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff. It’s a bit like saying, right this second, “Let’s see what Marvel Comics is all about.” In the streaming age, BTS have sold more than twenty million physical units across fourteen albums. Their multi-album concept cycles, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Love Yourself, and Map of the Soul, have unfolded over multiple records and EPs. There are collaborations with brands, including a BTS smartphone with Samsung. There is a series of short films and music videos, called BU, or BTS Universe, and an animated universe called BT21, in which they’re all represented by gender-neutral avatars. Their fan base, known as ARMY, is a global cultural movement unto itself.

“Dynamite,” their first English-language single and their first American number one, is pure, ecstatic pop. Shiny and joyful. What sets them apart from many of their peers, and many of the pop acts who achieved worldwide fame before them, is what came earlier. Beneath the sheen and the beats has always been an unflinching examination of human emotion. Their lyrics seek to challenge the conventions of society—to question and even denounce them. BTS’s first single, “No More Dream,” unveiled at their debut showcase in June 2013, concerns the intense pressure South Korean schoolchildren face to conform and to succeed. According to Suga, lyrics about the mental health of young people were mostly absent in Korean pop music. “The reason I started making music is because I grew up listening for lyrics that speak about dreams, hopes, and social issues,” he tells me. “It just came naturally to me when making music.”

Suga’s early ambition of making music didn’t involve him being in a group at all. About a decade ago, in his hometown of Daegu, the fourth-largest city in South Korea, he started recording underground rap tracks under the name Gloss, listening to and learning from the early works of songwriter and producer Bang Si-hyuk, known as Hitman Bang. Bang is the founder and CEO of Big Hit Entertainment. In 2010, Suga, a junior in high school, moved to Seoul to join Big Hit as a producer and rapper. Then Bang asked him to become part of a group, envisioning a hip-hop act with fellow new Big Hit recruits RM and J-Hope. The guys call this “season one” of their development.

“At that time, I don’t think our label exactly knew what to do with us,” RM says. “They just basically let us be and we had some lessons, but we also just chilled and made music sometimes.”

It got more intense. The family grew, occasionally by accident.

V accompanied a friend to a Big Hit casting call in Daegu for moral support and ended up being the person chosen from those sessions.

Jung Kook was signed in a feeding frenzy after being dropped from the talent show Superstar K, fielding offers from numerous entertainment companies before settling on Big Hit because he was impressed by RM’s rapping.

Jimin was a dance student and class president for nine years running at his school in Busan; he auditioned at the behest of his teacher.

And then, to hear him tell it, Jin got picked up off the street. “I was just going to school,” he says. “Someone from the company approached me, like, ‘Oh, this is my first time seeing anyone that looked like this.’ He suggested having a meeting with me.”

“Season two is when we officially underwent hard training,” J-Hope says. “We started dancing, and that’s how I would say our team building started.”

School in the daytime, training at night. “We slept during classes,” V says.

“I slept in the practice studio,” J-Hope counters.

Hitman Bang kept the pressure comparatively low. And he encouraged the guys to write and produce their own music, to be honest about their emotions in their lyrics. Suga is on record saying that no BTS album would be complete without a track that scrutinizes society.

And yet for their new album, Be, they’re putting that aside. Even this has a greater purpose that relates to mental wellness: RM, the group’s main rapper, says, “I don’t think this album will have any songs that criticize social issues. Everybody is going through very trying times right now. So I don’t think there will be any songs that will be that aggressive.”

Though the new rules of COVID-19 mean they can’t come here and promote Be, its first single might not have happened in the first place but for the pandemic. “ ‘Dynamite’ wouldn’t be here if there was no COVID-19,” says RM. “For this song, we wanted to go easy and simple and positive. Not some, like, deep vibes or shadows. We just wanted to go easy.”

Jin agrees. “We were trying to convey the message of healing and comfort to our fans.” He pauses. “World domination wasn’t actually our plan when we were releasing ‘Dynamite.’ ” World domination just happens sometimes. You get it.

MAP OF THE SOUL ONE AIRED VIA THEIR ONLINE FAN PLATFORM and attracted almost a million viewers across 191 countries. The guys say they tried not to think about the enormousness. J-Hope adds, “I felt a little bit more nervous knowing that this was being broadcast live. I actually feel less nervous performing live at a stadium.” Jin replies with a smile, “J-Hope, born to perform at a stadium.”

The graphic layout of the title throws a colon between the final N and E, which makes it look like Map of the Soul On: E, and as I watch it live, as I do in my office at 3:00 a.m. with noise-canceling headphones and a steaming pot of coffee, it feels a lot like I’m watching Map of the Soul on E. It is an explosion of color and fashion and passion, over four gigantic stages, from the boozy swagger of “Dionysus” to the emo-trap introspection of “Black Swan.” Not a step, not a gesture, not a hair is out of place. If there were nerves, they didn’t come through.

There is also, at the end of Map of the Soul One, an intimate version of their 2017 track “Spring Day,” which encapsulates what’s really made BTS stand out. On the surface, it’s about nonspecific love and loss, about yearning for the past. “I think that song really represents me,” says Jin. “I like to look to the past and be lost in it.”

Fair enough, but there is an undeniable allusion, in both the song’s video and its cover concept, to a specific incident in recent South Korean history. “Spring Day” was released just a few years after the sinking of the Sewol ferry, one of the country’s biggest maritime disasters, in which a poorly inspected, overloaded ferry toppled in a sharp right turn. Hundreds of high school students drowned, having obeyed orders to stay in their cabins as the boat was going down. According to some reports, the South Korean government actively tried to silence entertainers who spoke out against it, with the Korean Ministry of Education fully banning the tragedy’s commemorative yellow ribbons in schools. I ask whether it was about a specific sad event, and Jin tells me, “It is about a sad event, as you said, but it is also about longing.” The song kept the disaster front of mind for young Koreans and for the media, indirectly leading to the impeachment and removal of then president Park Geun-hye.

If an overburdened, undermaintained, slow-moving vessel capsizing because of a reckless rightward turn strikes you as somehow symbolic of the country in which BTS are about to explode even further, you won’t hear it from them. “We’re outsiders—we can’t really express what we feel about the United States,” says V. But their actions speak volumes; in the wake of the George Floyd murder and subsequent protests in America, the group made a $1 million donation with Big Hit Entertainment to Black Lives Matter, one that was matched by BTS ARMY.

The fans offer a fascinating inversion of stan culture: Rather than bullying rivals like many other ardent online fan bases do, ARMY have put the positive message of the music into action. Their activism goes deep. Through micro-donations, they’ve regrown rain forests, adopted whales, funded hundreds of hours of dance classes for Rwandan youth, and raised money to feed LGBTQ refugees around the world. Where pop fans a generation ago might have sent teddy bears or cards to their idols for their birthdays, where five years ago they might have promoted a hashtag to get a video’s YouTube viewer count up, for RM’s twenty-sixth birthday in September, international fan collective One in an Army raised more than $20,000 for digital night schools to improve rural children’s access to education during the COVID-19 crisis. ARMY may have even entered the conversation around the 2020 presidential election when hundreds of thousands of Tulsa Trump rally tickets got snapped up online in June. The event’s actual attendance was pathetically low. No particular person or entity claimed credit for this top-notch trolling, but a video urging BTS fans to RSVP to that rally did get hundreds of thousands of views. We have no choice but to stan this fan base.

The relationship is intense. “We and our ARMY are always charging each other’s batteries,” RM says. “When we feel exhausted, when we hear the news all over the world, the tutoring programs, and donations, and every good thing, we feel responsible for all of this.” The music may have inspired the good works, but the good works inspire the music. “We’ve got to be greater; we’ve got to be better,” RM continues. “All those behaviors always influence us to be better people, before all this music and artist stuff.”

Yet for every devoted member of BTS ARMY, there is someone who’s looked right past BTS. Jimmy Fallon, whose Tonight Show hosted the group for a full week this past fall, was one of those people. “Usually if an artist is on the rise, I hear about them ahead of time. With BTS, I knew they had crazy momentum, and I’d never heard of them.”

Here’s a thought that used to be funny to me: There were members of the live audience of The Ed Sullivan Showon February 9, 1964, who weren’t there to see the Beatles. Elvis was in the Army, Buddy Holly was gone, and the three number-one albums in the months before Meet the Beatles! were an Allan Sherman comedy record, the West Side Story original cast recording, and Soeur Sourire: The Singing Nun. America had left rock ’n’ roll behind for the moment, and with the culture aimless and fragmented, it wasn’t quite sure what to pick up in its place. It is possible to imagine that a youngish, reasonably hip, and culturally aware human being might cop a ticket to that week’s show, settle into his seat, and say, “Bring on a medley of numbers from the Broadway musical Oliver! and banjo sensation Tessie O’Shea.”

The instinct is to laugh at that guy, and it’s a good instinct, because what a dope.

And then you become that guy.

Sometimes there is a whole universe alongside your own, bursting with color you’re too stubborn to see, bouncing with joy you think is for someone else, with a beat you thought you were finished dancing to. BTS are the biggest thing on the planet right now, yet the job of introducing them to someone new, particularly in America, seems like it’s never done. Maybe it’s because they are adored by screaming teenagers and we live in a society patriarchal enough to forget that screaming teenagers are nearly always right. Maybe it’s the cultural divide, in a moment when our country is unashamed enough of its own xenophobia to get openly bent out of shape when it has to press 1 for English. Maybe it’s the language barrier, as though we understood a single word Michael Stipe sang before 1989.

Whatever the reason, the result is that you might be missing out on a paradigm shift and a historic moment of pop greatness.

IF BTS SEEM A BIT CAUTIOUS WITH THEIR WORDS PUBLICLY, IT’S because—perhaps more than any other massive pop act in history—they have to be. Shortly after our second meeting, BTS were given the General James A. Van Fleet Award by the U. S.–based Korea Society for their outstanding contributions to advancing relations between the United States and Korea. In his acceptance speech, RM said, “We will always remember the history of pain that our two nations shared together, and the sacrifices of countless men and women,” as seemingly diplomatic and innocuous a statement as he could have made. But because he didn’t mention the Chinese soldiers who died in the Korean War, it didn’t go over well. The Samsung BTS smartphone disappeared from Chinese e-commerce platforms, Fila and Hyundai pulled ads in China that featured the group, the nationalistic newspaper Global Times accused them of hurting Chinese citizens’ feelings and negating history, and the hashtags “BTS humiliated China” and “there are no idols that come before my country” began trending on the social-media site Weibo. The pressure is not small.

Even as the number-one pop group in the world, even with their hard work day in and day out, even with tens of millions of adoring fans redefining the concept of “adoring fans” by literally healing the planet in their name, these guys still suffer from impostor syndrome. RM explains, “I’ve heard that there’s this mask complex. Seventy percent of so-called successful people have this, mentally. It’s basically this: There’s this mask on my face. And these people are afraid that someone is going to take off this mask. We have those fears as well. But I said 70 percent, so I think it’s very natural. Sometimes it’s a condition to be successful. Humans are imperfect, and we have these flaws and defects. And one way to deal with all this pressure and weight is to admit the shadows.”

The music helps. “When we write the songs and lyrics, we study these emotions, we are aware of that situation, and we relate to that emotionally,” J-Hope says. “And that’s why when the song is released, we listen to it and get consolation from those songs as well. I think our fans also feel those emotions, maybe even more than us. And I think we are a positive influence on each other.”

If there’s one thing they’re sacrificing, besides free time and the ability to speak freely without the Chinese foreign ministry releasing an official statement, it’s a love life. I ask about dating, broad questions like “Are you?” and “Is there time?” and “Can you?” and the answer to all of them is pretty clear: “No.” “The most important thing for us now is to sleep,” Jung Kook insists. Suga follows right up with “Can you see my dark circles?” I cannot, because there are none, because flawless skin translates even over Zoom when there’s an ocean between us.

So they’re not, at least publicly, having romantic relationships with anyone. If there is a strong relationship that’s guided their journey into adulthood, it’s with Big Hit. “Our company started with twenty to thirty people, but now we have a company with so many employees,” RM says. “We have our fans, and we have our music. So we have a lot of things that we have to be responsible for, to safeguard.” He considers it for a moment. “I think that’s what an adult is.”

“Our love life—twenty-four hours, seven days a week—is with all the ARMYs all over the world,” RM adds.

In a world that is determined to sand down anything that isn’t immediately recognizable to the average pop-music fan, when it comes to acquainting you with Korean culture, BTS very much do not wanna hold your hand. While the first song on night one of their Tonight Show week was a joyous but expected take on “Dynamite” with Fallon and the Roots, they took some chances during their second performance.

As a friend of mine, a thirty-three-year-old BTS fan in Los Angeles, told me, “The second song they performed was ‘IDOL,’ ” from 2018’s Love Yourself: Answer, “and it celebrated their Korean identity. They performed it in Gyeongbokgung Palace in Seoul. They wore clothes inspired by traditional dresses called hanboks;it was almost entirely in Korean, so it felt super subversive. As a fan, I read it as: ‘Dynamite’ was an invitation, and this is who we are and this is our home.”

“I was a little concerned that people might not understand,” Fallon says. “I was like, ‘There’s nothing in English here.’ But what you see is just pure star power. Pure talent. Immediately, I thought, Oh, this is everything. If you’re that powerful, it transcends language.”

American popular music in the twenty-first century is more fragmented than it has been since . . . well, since Allan Sherman, Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim, and the Singing Nun battled for that number-one spot. The monoculture that the Beatles helped bring on has breathed its last breath. Each of us is the program director for our own private radio station, letting our own past habits and streaming-service algorithms serve up something close to what we want. Which is great, except that huge moments can whiz right past our ears. Each of us, even if we’re more clued in than our parents were when they were our age, can miss some era-defining, excellent shit. Particularly if the radio is our Spotify Discover Weekly, or the Pandora channel based on the band whose T-shirts we wore in college. We can let a moment pass us by if prime time is a Netflix binge, and the Tonight Show hour is spent on one more episode before bed. But we shouldn’t. “Honestly, I think it’s history that we’re living through with BTS,” Fallon says. “It’s the biggest band I’ve seen since I’ve started late night, definitely.”

THERE IS ALSO THE SMALL DETAIL THAT, UNLIKE THE BEATLES AND literally every other worldwide sensation to break in America, BTS don’t particularly need to go to the trouble. They are massive all over the world. Thanks to the recent IPO of Big Hit Entertainment, of which each member is a partner, they are all now incredibly wealthy. (Hitman Bang is the first South Korean entertainment mogul to become a billionaire.) What good is a culture in decline to a pop act this much on the ascent? “When I dreamed of becoming an artist, I listened to pop and watched all the awards shows in the United States. Being successful and being a hit in the U. S. is, of course, such an honor as an artist,” says Suga. “I feel very proud of that.”

They’re breaking out in a country that either worships them or fails to notice them. So do they feel like they’re getting enough respect in America? “How can we win everyone’s respect?” Jin asks. “I think it’s enough to get respect from people who support us. It’s similar everywhere else in the world. You can’t like everyone, and I think it’s enough to be respected by people who really love you.”

Suga agrees. “You can’t always be comfortable, and I think it’s all part of life. Honestly, we are not used to getting a ton of respect from when we first started out. But I think that gradually changes, whether it be in the States or other parts of the world, as we do more and more.”

There is, without a doubt, one colossal, unmistakable sign of respect for a musician: a Grammy. They’ve been nominated only once, and even then it was for best recording package. But their sights are set on a big one next year. RM puts it out there: “We would like to be nominated and possibly get an award.” Dragging the hoary, backward-looking, and Western-focused Grammys into the gorgeous, global world of the present through sheer force of will, talent, and hard work? Stranger things have happened. “I think the Grammys are the last part, like the final part of the whole American journey,” he says with a smile. “So yeah, we’ll see.”

The Recording Academy’s seal of approval is one thing. But BTS have already conquered the world, clowned tyrants, inspired individual fans to perform the small and achievable acts of activism that have collectively begun to save the planet, challenged toxic masculinity by leading with vulnerability, and, along the way, become bajillionaires and international idols. Whether the Grammys are paying attention matters about as much as what an Ed Sullivan audience member expected to see that night in 1964. BTS have already won.

#bangtan #jungkook #jimin #v #suga #jhope #jin #rm #o:esquire #o:interview #201123

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makaniparata · 3 years

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GET TO KNOW THE MUSE

Name: Makani Alexander Parata

Nickname(s): Big Mak, The Bull, Mak, Big Papa, King of Tap-Out

Age: 49

Date of Birth: April 23rd

Place of Birth: Kapolei, Hawaii

Race / Ethnicity: Mixed Race - African American & Samoan

Gender: CIS-Male

Pronouns: He/Him

FAMILY

Father: Alexander Drummond

Mother: Kapua Parata

Siblings: None - that he knows of, however, as he doesn’t know his father or if he has any siblings on that side of the family

Spouse: Kami Parata - married for nearly thirty years now

Children: 5 adopted children - eldest is a 24 year old boy, second oldest is a 21 year old girl that's a third-year in college, middle child is a nineteen year old female that's a freshman in college, second youngest is an eighteen year old that's starting his senior year of high school in the fall and the youngest is a seventeen year old girl that will also be a senior in the fall.

APPEARANCE

Height: 6'6

Weight: 272 pounds

Build: Herculean, Athletic, Toned

Body Hair: Smooth

Hair Color: Black, but keeps head shaved

Eye Color: Brown

Tattoos: A bull skull tattoo on his right arm and a large polynesian tattoo that covers his left shoulder, chest, and even back.

Piercings: N/A

NSFW

Position: Versatile, Switch

Kinks: Intimacy, Kissing, Light Pain-Play, Worship, Pits, Sweat, Musk, Massages, Infidelity, Smaller Tops/Doms, Bondage, Multiple Orgasms (giving), Edging, Daddy-Kink, Open to Others

Anti-Kinks: Severe Humiliation/Degradation, Pain-Play, Age-Play, Diaper-Play, Scat, Electro-Stimulation

Safeword: Red

Dick Claim: Here

Ass Claim: Here

BIOGRAPHY

The son to a United States Marine that was stationed on the island of O'ahu, Makani didn't really know much about his father except that he was honored to serve his country and protect it from those that meant to do it harm. At least, that's what his mother always told him of the man, not speaking ill of him despite the fact that he wound up leaving when he was still in his mother's womb. Truthfully, Makani didn't need to know his dad because he had his mom, and she played both roles perfectly, raising him with care and telling him that he could be whatever he wanted to be. Of course, things were tense and hard, but they somehow managed to make it through - though that could have been due in part to Makani helping out around the fishing docks as much as he could, not wanting to see his mother hurt and struggle.

It was that goal that had the man wanting to do something that would make sure that his mother never worried about money, that she didn't have to wonder about how she was going to put food on the table or a roof over her head, and he knew that with his massive brawn, he'd be able to become a professional athlete. And boy, did he. Starting out in his high school football team, Makani was quickly recruited to play for Clemson, allowing him a chance to move to the "mainland" and give him a greater opportunity - and allowing him to meet a woman that would later become his wife and the mother of his children. And for four years, he played collegiate football, but when he realized he wasn't going to get scouted for the NFL, he grew angry. And when he grew angry, he hit the gym.

That's when things began to turn around.

He had been using a sandbag, punching it hard and fast, when someone had approached and told him that he had the look of a natural fighter. And really, Makani did. He had years of wrestling under his belt, a sport that fell hand-in-hand with football (if you could grapple, you could tackle), and he had taken up boxing as a way to work out and keep himself light on his feet, but he had never thought about making a professional career out of it. It was bloody, violent, and it was dangerous... but, the more that he thought about it and the more that this guy spoke, the more he realized he wanted to do it. And did it he shall.

Over time, Makani's fights began to draw in more and more of a crowd and he began to be nicknamed the bull for the bull tattoo on his right arm, his zodiac sign, and for his being hard to knock down. A fighter that was known for his submission-style fighting quickly became known as the king of tap-out, a contender alongside Randy Couture or was the king of the ground-and-pound, and the two of them quickly made Mixed Martial Arts and the UFC a brand name that people recognized. And as Makani slowly began to step away from the Octagon, he began to teach aspiring fighters and coach them in the hopes that they'd follow in his steps and hold a belt of their own.

But despite his career as a grand-champion among all of the great fighters and a beautiful family that he built alongside his wife, Kami, Makani still yearns for more. Because despite the happy facade he puts on, he is really unhappy because he is living a lie. While he loves his wife and his family more than anything, the truth is, he was a gay man and he yearned for the masculine touch... so when one of his young trainees mentioned a camp for men to let go and relax? He was all too eager.

That was his first time to Camp Riverbend, and he's been back every year since - this being his third. He feels guilty for leaving his wife, for lying to her about being at a training camp, but this is what he needs to be able to release the tension that has been inside of him for nearly thirty years. And while Makani knows that he can't find anything long-lasting here... He can always dream, right?

#(about)

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doc-pickles · 4 years

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grow as we go

this fic is sponsored by Nat (one of the Group Chat members)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAT! If there’s anything this girl loves it’s fluff and Jolex babies. So that’s exactly what I delivered for her special day!! I hope you enjoy this and just know WE LOVE YOU!! (and Pepper but mostly you)

This fic takes place early season 15 while Alex is chief and Jo is doing her Mass Gen fellowship. Hope you guys like this fluffy fic! :)

Alex Karev loved being chief. He loved being the big man in charge and he loved Grey Sloan. He loved his coworkers and he loved helping sick kids everyday. What Alex did not love, however, was being away from his wife. They’d been married just three months ago and he’d only been able to spend three weeks of that time with Jo before she left for Boston to start her fellowship at Mass Gen. Between her long hours working in the lab and his hectic new schedule, neither had found time to visit. They talked everyday and Skyped every Friday, but he missed having Jo next to him every night.

Alex’s path into his office was interrupted by Nancy, his secretary, letting him know that he had files or budgets or something to look over, causing him to let out a groan.

“Nancy, I told you I will get to it, but I have to call my wife,” Alex motioned to his phone as he backed into his office. “You know the woman who I married that lives clear across the country? The one I talk to at this time everyday? Give me thirty minutes.”

A sigh left Alex as he closed his door and sunk down into his office chair. He dialed Jo’s number and sat in silence until she picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” Alex spun in his chair, brows furrowing as he listened down the line. “You sound out of breath, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just ran up the stairs to my apartment, I’m good,” Jo paused and sucked in a breath, before returning to her normal voice. “Sorry, I didn’t realize what time it was. How’s your day been?”

“Long and boring. I had two meetings and I wanted to stab my eye out with a pen during both,” Alex could hear Jo’s laugh from the other end, his heart aching at the all too familiar sound. “I miss hearing your laugh everyday, I miss you being in our bed.”

He tried his hardest not to bring up the distance between them, mainly because Alex knew things were much easier for him than they were for Jo. He got to stay in Seattle where they’d built their life while she lived on the other side of the country by herself.

“My fellowship won’t last forever babe. Besides, we vowed for worse or for better right?”

“I know, it’s hard to think about when you’re not here next to me though.”

“Well I’m hoping to get some time off soon, then I can fly home for a bit,” a sigh escaped Jo and Alex couldn’t help but lean forward, anticipating her next words. They were filled with tears and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around his wife. “I miss you so much Alex, I hate Boston and I wish I were still in Seattle.”

“You said it yourself, we’ll see each other soon. If you can’t make it out here then I’ll take some personal leave and come see you,” Alex ran a hand over his face as he helplessly listened to Jo crying. “I’m sorry babe, I’ve been so overwhelmed with this new position that I haven’t even had a second to think about coming out there.”

“Don’t say that, you’re doing important work. I’m sorry, my mind has just been all over the place lately,” Jo sighed then, signalling that she was done crying. She did it every time she wanted to move on and Alex felt like she was right next to him when she did it. “I’ve gotta go babe, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you.” “I love you too Jo,” Alex hung his phone up, eyes taking in the large office and the nice view he had of the hospital from the panoramic windows.

Alex loved his job, but he’d trade everything he had and more to have his wife in his arms again. With one last look, he stood and left the room, flicking the lights off as he walked out the door.

Alex didn’t make it back to his office until mid afternoon the next day, meetings and consults keeping him busy through the morning. His mind was still heavy from hearing Jo yesterday, even though they’d both texted before going to bed later that night. He knew he’d been distracted all morning, not paying enough attention to anyone that was talking in his general direction.

“Chief, you have-”

“Nancy, not now, please,” Alex paused outside the door to his office, giving his secretary a pointed look. “I’m not in the mood, maybe after I call my wife I’ll be able to do whatever mundane task it is that you have for me today.”

“But sir that’s-”

“Not now! And can you please clear off a week sometime in my schedule? I need to go to Boston.”

Alex opened the door to his office, flicking the lights on and cocking his head to the side as he took in the sight before him. Alex rubbed his eyes, making sure he wasn’t seeing things as he stared at the woman who had been occupying his mind.

“Hi there.”

“Jo?”

More real than anything he’d been through since he got off the phone with her the day before, Jo sat on the couch in Alex’s office, a small smile creeping up onto her face that made her cheeks glow brightly. Alex couldn’t move from his spot in the doorway, his heart beating out of time as he watched Jo stand from the couch. She was dressed in leggings and one of his oversized flannels that she’d stolen when she left, probably what she’d worn on her flight here.

“I didn’t want to say anything until it was all straightened out, but I left my fellowship,” Jo held her hands up, stopping Alex from intervening as she walked towards him. She shut the door behind him before coming to stand in front of Alex, eyes meeting his tenderly. “I know you’re gonna tell me I shouldn’t have left for you or whatever crap you’re going to say, but I promise I have a really good reason for coming back.”

“Jo you shouldn’t have come back just for me,” Alex was happy to have his wife here but he didn’t want her to sidetrack her career for him. “We can make the distance work, I’ll take a sabbatical and come to Boston with you. I don’t want you giving up on your dreams because of me.”

“Alex,” Jo grabbed his hand then, Alex looking on in confusion as she pulled him closer to her and settled his hand on her stomach. The normally flat and toned area was now rounded and growing, Alex’s eyes going wide as he looked up to see Jo’s megawatt grin. “I didn’t just up and leave for no good reason. I know we could’ve made it work but I really couldn’t stay away any longer.”

“You’re here.”

“Yes I am.”

“And you’re pregnant?”

“Did you listen to anything I said?”

“I heard it all but I’m still not convinced that I actually got out of bed this morning,” Alex placed his other hand on Jo’s hip and brought her closer to him, his left hand still placed firmly on her baby bump. “When the hell did this happen?”

“Mmm remember the shed,” Alex let a laugh out then, watching Jo for any sign that she was joking. “Hate to break it to you but we definitely made a baby in that shed.”

Leaning down, Alex caught Jo’s lips with his, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Having his wife in his arms again was better than he could’ve imagined, especially finding out that she was having his baby.

“I only found out three weeks ago because I’m completely clueless and thought the mood swings and the missing period were because I was stressed out and I missed you,” Jo’s eyes were glassy as Alex let his hand rub her back gently. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I wanted to tell you in person, here, at home. Because I don’t wanna leave again, Alex.”

Alex took in his wife, her puffy eyes and glowing face, the way one hand instinctively floated down to cradle the curve of her stomach. Her breasts were fuller, he could tell even through the layers of clothing she wore, and she’d cut her hair shorter again. Once he took a good look at her, he realized just how much Jo had changed in the short amount of time she’d been gone.

“I’m not letting you go anywhere. I’ll even talk to the chief to get you a job here,” Jo let out a laugh at his comment as Alex let his hand wander under the shirt she was wearing, fingers brushing over her bare skin and the swell signaling the new life growing there. He was going to be a dad. “I’m glad you came back, I missed you.”

“You don’t know the half of it, I cried myself to sleep the past week because I was so hormonal on top of missing you,” Jo trailed her fingers up to the knot of Alex’s tie and began to loosen it. “Thankfully for you I’m past all my first trimester aches and pains and all I really want is you.”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up as he took in the lust filled look on Jo’s face. She was undoing the buttons of his shirt now, fingers slipping under the fabric to run her nails over the smooth skin there.

“Well I think since my loving wife has finally come home, I can take the rest of the day off,” his words did nothing to stop Jo though, her lips trailing to his neck as Alex’s eyes involuntarily shut. “Or we can christen the couch in here since you don’t seem to want to stop.”

At his words, Jo began to pull him backwards, pushing his white coat off with a smirk. Before she could get her hands anywhere else, Alex quickly shut the blinds to his office, turned back to Jo and brought her in for a searing kiss. They collapsed onto the couch in a fit of laughter, hands moving greedily over each other as they made up for lost time.

Alex did like being chief, he loved this hospital and his coworkers, but he was absolutely certain that nothing in his life was better than having his wife and their baby back home with him.

#jolex #jolex fanfic #jo x alex #jo karev #jo wilson #alex karev #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's fanfic #nina writes

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jemfisch · 4 years

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⌠ MASON GOODING, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, JEREMY “JEM” FISCHMAN II! according to their records, they’re a SECOND YEAR year, specializing in ADVANCED ENCRYPTION & “MACGUYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS AND NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (old hip hop blaring from headphones, a broken crtv with the cords ripped out and repurposed, the smell of spray paint graffiti, brightly colored shirts with 80s patterns). when it’s the (cancer)’s birthday on 06/23/99, they always request their ICE CREAM SANDWICHES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 24, she/her, est ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION

fox mulder (the x files)

hogarth hughes (the iron giant)

will turner (pirates of the carribean)

robin hood

george weasley (harry potter)

aladdin

spike spiegel (cowboy bebop)

mark watney (the martian)

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR BIO

his parents were high school sweethearts and married just before they attended college at harvard together, securing careers at the kennedy space center.

jeremy fischman sr dies under mysterious circumstances in a lab accident and ellen is twenty-eight and left alone to raise baby jem. things only go downhill from here. jeremy was the love of her life and she becomes obsessed with his disappearance and all kinds of conspiracy theories, blows a bunch of her money. it doesn’t take long for her to be fired, savings blown on expensive equipment or sunk into internet hoaxes

they move to a rough neighborhood in gainesville where jem grows up. he likes jem, not jeremy, jeremy is his father. he’s never experienced the perfect life his parents used to live, the white picket fence, the shiny space shuttles. he’s only got this, and honestly, he doesn’t hate it.

the neighborhood’s rough, but there’s a lot of fun characters, and his mom is practically his best friend – aside from his next-door neighbor, NOAH WARD.

jem’s mom does odd hacking jobs from the comfort of their home. some of them are shadier than others, she makes connections with a lot of private investigators in town and looks into people’s cheating husbands and tracks down birth parents and missing people. she does pro bono work too, a kindhearted woman, she can never say no to those in need, even if she’s not so fortunate herself. as jem gets older, he learns everything that he knows from her

every summer vacation growing up, jem and his mom would pack their bags and make home in a camper van, traveling across the country. in some ways, this was great mother-son bonding, but this wasn’t why they did it. his mom never gave up looking for the truth about her husband, but hacking into secure, top-secret government databases is nothing like hacking into the gainesville city hall, it’s hard work, and they travel around the country methodically so that their signal cannot be traced. every summer they get close, but never close enough.

when noah moves away for college, jem stays home. he’s not comfortable leaving his mom.

he keeps up with hacking jobs and keeping up with looking for his dad on the side. he doesn’t think they’ll ever find him, his mom holds out hope but jem is eighteen years old and a bit more jaded now, he figures the guy’s just really dead and well, the conspiracy of it all matters less and less when he knows that either way, he’s still grown up without him.

a lot of jem’s social life is online, whether it’s friends from hacking forums or via soundcloud.

when he’s not hacking, he’s making music. his passions of technology and music mix and he creates his own beats and soundcloud, mashing together songs, and even putting together a popular meme track or two used on tiktok.

it’s actually a bit lucrative, but that’s not why he does it. doesn’t even really use his name, catch him on soundcloud…username? uncutjems.

every time he and his mom get close to finding his dad, there’s just more to do, and it’s almost like someone KNOWS what they’re doing.

jem’s right about that – he is being watched. since noah’s admission to gallagher, recruiters have been aware of the boy who taught her everything she knew.

when gallagher makes the choice to start allowing male students, an agent shows up at his door offering him a once in a lifetime chance at a free education.

jem doesn’t have any strong ambition to go into espionage, per say, but he won’t say no to advanced classes taught by some of the world’s brightest minds – and a chance to reunite with his best friend. however, he hasn’t stopped trying to get into the government’s records and still has ambitions of going into music production.

PERSONALITY.

INTUITIVE. jem has a natural intuition about things and he trusts himself and his own opinions about things. i suppose you could perceive this as confidence, but honestly he’s just really SMART, good at absorbing facts even subconsciously and putting things together about people or situations. in a sense, he has a habit of being correct – he definitely comes off as intelligent, even though his grades in school have never been very good. he just has different priorities.

LOYAL. make a friend out of jem and you have a friend for life, he’ll take your secrets to the grade and he’s pretty trustworthy. he’s the type of guy that gets along with pretty much everyone but he has a few select, close friends because he is somewhat intentional about the company that he keeps. he’s friendly and kind, but he keeps his inner circle of people he trusts close and somewhat exclusive.

PROTECTIVE. kind of has papa bear energy, you know ? maybe the dad friend of your friend group, but in a laid back way, he might not seem like he’s the type to spring into action but call someone close to him a rude name and you’ll see his fist coming at your face. he’s protective but not possessive, i guess is how i would describe it, but i think he gives pretty good advice as well because he’s really hoping the best for ppl.

MALINGERING. jem is kind of a SLACKER! at least, that’s what teachers have called him in the past, he simply does not dream of labor. he’s just kind of doing his own thing, will fake sick to skip a class, whatever else, even though he likes producing music he doesn’t really have a great ambition for anything, spy or otherwise. as long as he has a good computer setup, then he’s fucking chilling.

MOODY. he’s laid back to the umpteenth degree when it comes to work or obligations, but he does have sort of mood swings, i guess he’s the sort of person that you would describe as grumpy at times ? definitely NOT a morning person and when he’s in an off mood, he can be hard to interact with or snap out of.

DISORGANIZED. the sort of person to throw his stuff across the bed or leave piles of clothes on the floor to deal with later, maybe he’s not your favorite roommate for this reason. he has a habit of losing things that he just set down or whatever, things like that.

HEADCANONS.

tbh you can think of him like...beca in pitch perfect ! he’s here bc he was offered a free education and he’s cool with that, but he’d rather be pursuing a future in music. a damn good hacker, though, and the gallagher recruiters are hoping that with some ‘ambition’ he’ll want to work for the government someday.

played baseball throughout middle and high school and he’s fairly athletic – he can get pretty competitive when he plays, it kind of brings out a side in him that most people don’t expect to see because he’s fairly chilled out most of the time

a boss with a slingshot. there is no reason for this, but he had one as a kid and he used to chase squirrels away from the bird feeders outside their home. he has great eyesight and his aim is great, but it’s literally the only weapon he’s proficient in

he’s not tiktok famous for his face, but he has two tiktok famous songs...he’s made like 12k in record deals for selling the rights, it’s just the kind of shit that he does goofing around in music software and he has a good ear for what is going to be catchy

he’s NOT a morning person, definitely a late night kind of guy, will stay up until all hours just fucking around on the computer and then he’ll sleep until 1 or 2pm, at least. getting up for morning classes is a struggle for them and he has slept through them on occasion.

funky sweaters, crazy socks, fun-patterned shirts, he dresses a bit like a circus tent at times, but you can’t say that he doesn’t have style – he dresses well, but it’s like he’s stepped out of a 90s cartoon or something

if he makes u a playlist he either wants to be ur friend so fucking bad or he’s head over heels in love with u

really likes making new things with old technology, he loves taking the macguyver courses and learning new things and he’s actually built his own computer and a lot of his own musical instruments

usually has a couple bandaids because he’s a bit accident prone or can lose his focus when working in the lab. when he gets in his own head while working on a project, he literally cannot hear anything else – sort of selective hearing

likes fucking around with spray paint, if he can, he’s got a bit of an artistic streak and he doodles stickers on sticker paper sometimes. you can probably catch his tag around campus or even stuck to the latops of his close friends, it’s just a little man with a tv for a head.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

HACKING JOBS – if you STILL need a hacker for any of your wild backstory connections, jem is a great bet. he’s been doing paid jobs for people professionally since he could type, and he’s sort of an ace at getting in and out without leaving a trace...and he’s no gossip. so, your secrets would be safe with him.

SMOKING BUDDIES – people that he can smoke up with, talk about life, talk about the bullshit of gallagher, but also people he can laugh with that don’t make him feel stressed or concerned about the future.

MUSIC MAKING BUDDIES – if your character makes music, maybe they can collaborate on something...we’re about to drop the hottest mixtape of all time right here at gallagher academy i will teach myself garageband for this shit...jk but maybe

EX ON BAD TERMS – someone he dated last year...i’m imagining it was their first year and things were really great for the first semester, but shit fell apart second semester along with the school. maybe all the drama on campus caused distance, maybe he wasn’t there for them when they needed it, or maybe they got jealous of the way he always prioritizes noah ? a combination of things, we can hash out the details since i know some of you had some pretty angsty things going on second sem, and maybe it’s awkward now because it feels like there’s unfinished biz.

EX ON GOOD TERMS / LOVERS TO FRIENDS – maybe someone that was a rebound and things didn’t really work and they saw that, maybe he wasn’t over his ex or whatever but they were able to stay friends ? it’s up to you how your muse feels about it but i want an ex that jem also has no hard feels about and actually is maybe sort of protective of them and cares a lot about them finding happiness, they bonded hardcore.

EX-FLING – idk maybe they were hooking up for a while and then one of them started seeing someone else or one of them caught feels so they don’t hook up any more but it was super fun when they did !! also down for it to have been like a summer fling and once the summer ended.

BROS – idk i would like for him to have a squad or something for him to just fuck around with <3 but it’s wholesome and they respect women

ONLINE FRIEND (ANONYMOUS) – he spent a lot of time on forums online and stuff so i’d love for him to have an online friend !! maybe cute if they just know each other by their screen names rn and we can do a bunch of text chats and maybe they both know they go to gallagher but they simply. haven’t met idk

ONLINE FRIENDS – also friends he met online that aren’t anonymous they could’ve met through any number of forums but probably have similar interests like music or hacking so they’re long time homies , someone he’s known almost as long as noah

ONE NIGHT STAND – self explanatory. maybe they’re super good friends and now it’s kind of awkward now and they want to get back to a place of normalcy but it’s simply not normal, maybe they fucked things up by breakin the tension on like. halloween or some shit.

FRIENDZONED – someone jem accidentally friendzoned and maybe he doesn’t even realize it himself but they had a thing for him and he really just didn’t realize it bc he can’t tell unless you spell it out for him.

CLASS RIVALS – someone who tries really hard and cares about class a bunch vs. jem who doesn’t give a fuck but he keeps making the grade without really trying, so they’re ? bitter about it ? and so the two really do not hit it off because of that and they go back and forth , i just rly want a classroom rivalry. maybe even this rivalry and them nagging him actually motivates to try in the class just to piss them off

ENEMY – this person shared a secret with jem and then it somehow got out on the gossip blog idk ! they think jem told and now they hate him.

anything pls let’s chat !

#gallagher:intro

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epochxp · 4 years

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How Ed Smith Rose Above Prejudice and Became a Black Video Game Pioneer

Though not many gamers today remember him, Ed Smith was one of the great pioneers of the video game industry during its infancy. During a time when African Americans were rare to the game industry, Smith helped to advance it forward in significant ways.

Born in Brooklyn in 1954, Smith grew up in an impoverished neighborhood, which his parents moved into from Mississippi only a few years prior. Though his family had left behind their old home during the period known as the Great Migration, things weren’t much more promising in New York. Racism was still widespread in the area, and Smith’s family resided in a very high crime area.

At a very young age, Smith was told by his father not to expect much from his life and to have low aspirations. Despite this, Smith was a very ambitious and curious individual. He became engrossed with learning how devices functioned, taking apart and repairing basic electronics like irons and toasters. He later moved on to more advanced devices like TV sets and radios, becoming a handyman around the neighborhood. Smith’s friends were equally skeptical of his passion for electronics, telling him that “a black guy can’t do this sort of thing” and that they would “laugh you out of the room.” But for Smith, these words of discouragement only served as a challenge, with him set to prove them wrong.

Starting in the Electronics Industry

At the age of 18, Smith unexpectedly found himself becoming a father. With a family to provide for, he began working various electrical odd-ball jobs to make a living. He later moved to Coney Island in 1972, working for Marbelite, one of the country’s most prominent manufacturers of traffic signals. The job was Smith’s first real introduction into the digital electronics industry, which would only become larger through the ’70s and ’80s. While working at Marbelite, Smith attended school on microprocessor-based circuit design, a technology that would pave the way for the future of consumer electronics. He then learned to program the brand-new Fairchild F8 microprocessor, which was also used to make the Fairchild Channel F in 1976.

After working for Marbelite for a few years, Smith landed a job interview working for APF Electronics, located in downtown Manhattan. Unsurprisingly, Smith landed the job due to his high level of knowledge. According to Marty Lipper of APF Electronics, Smith’s race never factored into the hiring process. He recalled that “the man was an engineer, and he knew his business.” Hiring a black man in the mid-1970s in the tech industry was incredibly uncommon, but APF Electronics was known to be highly diverse, with a company made up of workers from various different racial backgrounds. Smith was more than qualified for the job, and as a result, became the second known black engineer (the first being Jerry Lawson) in the history of video games.

The Creation of the MP1000 and Its Impact

Working at APF, Ed Smith took the lead in designing the prototype for the company’s video game console, which drew inspiration from both the Apple I and TRS-80. Its design was inspired by the Motorola 6800 processor and was developed over six months. While featuring one built-in game entitled Rocket Patrol, the console was also capable of playing games that were sold separately via removable cartridges, an entirely new feature at the time. Launched commercially in mid-1978, the MP1000 sold well at first but garnered mixed reviews and was outpaced by the Atari 2600.

After the fairly successful launch of the MP1000, APF used Smith’s same technology to develop The Imagination Machine, a personal computer system that featured an off-white finish, full-stroke keyboard, and a built-in cassette tape drive for data storage. The product sold itself as a revolutionary creative tool for music, art, language, education, and programming and was built using Smith’s same technology at its core. The system, too, became successful, leading to the company’s creation of The Dream Machine II. Unfortunately, the system’s second iteration proved to be far less financially successful and ultimately led to APF ceasing operations in 1981.

After APF

After the closure of APF, Ed Smith left the video game field, but his experience stuck with him for the rest of his career. “Had I the forethought to know the industry would become what it is today, I would have stayed the path,” Smith stated. After APF, Smith managed an Apple dealership in New York for four years. He then worked at a computer dealer in Albany and helped expand the computer chain entitled The Computer Factory to a location in Philadelphia.

Today, Smith continues working as a successful tech salesman but remembers his days working for APF quite fondly. Those involved with the gaming industry today should remember Ed Smith’s contribution to it and appreciate what a strong impact he truly made.

Smith elaborated on his time as a gaming pioneer in an autobiography titled Imagine That!: The story of Ed Smith, one of the first African Americans to work in the design of video games and personal computers.

(This article is credited to Ben Price. For as long as he can remember, Ben has always loved playing, discussing, and writing about video games. Since receiving his B.A. in English, he now writes about them for a living.)

#Video Game Development #Black History Month #gaming #history

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seriouslyhooked · 4 years

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Feels Like This (Part 3)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1 Here, Part 2 Here. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So thank you so much first and foremost for the love you guys have shown this fic. I have been so excited to write this and have been waiting ages to share it all with you. This is the kind of fluff and cuteness I personally need in my life right now, and I know a lot of you probably feel the same. Strap in for my usual dose of CS feels, and yes, for those of you asking, this is the moment CS will meet. Hope you all enjoy and thank you all so much for reading!

“And you’re sure you’ve got everything?” Emma asked, looking at Henry and knowing that he was ready to head into camp. They’d been over this numerous times, and at this point they were already out of the house and in front of the hall where campers congregated every morning. Still, Emma couldn’t help trying to soak up the moment with her kid just a little bit longer, and if that meant running through their list once more, so be it. “You have your lunch?”

“They give us lunch there, Mom.”

“Oh right,” she said, still shocked at how much was provided seeing as this program was free through the University. The children of all faculty and students were allowed to come, and it completely eradicated a need for her to find alternative childcare. Back in the States they had nothing like this built in anywhere. Getting Henry to camp previously either took a funding miracle, an insane amount of luck, or extra shifts at a second job. Usually he stayed with Mrs. H and Emma tried desperately to make it up to their neighbor. But now community sponsored help was becoming a given way of life, and every kid in Montenarro, no matter their background, seemed to have at least one path to a bright and happy summer.

“You’ve got your bag? How about water?”

“Yes and yes. We ran through this already, remember? I told you everything I had while you made breakfast.”

Emma smiled, knowing he was right, as crazy as it sounded. It was wild to her that on a weekday she would have the time, the patience, and the extra bit of cash to afford the spread they ate together today. They had eggs, fruit, bacon, oatmeal and there were fresh pastries if they wanted. It was like their special holiday brunch, which happened on Christmas or on one of their birthdays, but they’d had this or something similar every day for nearly two weeks. It might seem over the top, but between the later starting hours here in Montenarro, her reduced work schedule with a generous stipend, and the fairer prices at the markets, Emma finally felt like she could give her son what he deserved. For years they’d chowed down on discount cereal, and now, in an attempt to enjoy themselves and resemble their new neighbors, they were taking a slower, and far and away more luxurious approach.

“I remember, kid. So I’ll be back here at four, and if I’m a little late -,”

“I just hang out a while longer, I know,” Henry said, looking to the doorway. A grin appeared at his face as he spotted one of his new friends. The other young boy waved in their direction and Henry waved back, causing Emma’s heart to melt. Her son not only had friends here, he was thriving. He was so happy, and seeing him this way made her happy too. “You don’t have to rush, Mom. I know your work ends early now, but maybe you could do something just for yourself.”

“Are you trying to tell me you’d rather stay later?” Emma asked, and Henry looked embarrassed for a moment before nodding.

“Not too much later, but Michael and Talia stay until five, and we’ve got this cool game going that we made up yesterday. It’s kind of hard to explain. But I can come home at four still. It’s okay, I’ll just -,”

“No, no, Henry, I am thrilled that you’re having a good time. I’ll be here at five.”

“Cool! Thanks, Mom!” Henry exclaimed, giving her a quick hug before heading for the door. “See you at five!”

She watched him get in safely, and the director of the camp who she’d met last week wished her a fond hello as she checked in Henry. Her greeting was pleasant and polite, and Emma knew if she had time the woman would talk her ear off about what it was like to be from America or the upcoming summer festivals. As it was though, Emma had to get going. She wasn’t late for work or anything, but she was eager to get there. Her work at the JR foundation was shaping up to be amazing. She was learning a lot, but she already felt like one of the team. Everyone who was there appreciated her, not just for working and helping out, but for her ideas. They were so responsive to suggestions, and always willing to try out any new concepts Emma had only really read about in books.

Their director, Marco, wasn’t like a normal boss. He didn’t hover or micromanage or come across as inaccessible. In fact, despite all the other calls on his time, Marco was with them all helping the kids and participating in their activities as much as he could. That leadership was so amazing in a space like this, and from everything Emma had experienced, the precedent he set was entirely reflective of the culture at large. Every person at the institute was determined to do right by these kids, and the children, despite the sad circumstances surrounding most of their lives, were doing so well and seemed so happy despite it all.

It was only a few city blocks from Henry’s camp to the center, but Emma let herself linger in the walk. She moved more slowly, matching the pace of the people around her, who never seemed to rush, and instead just enjoyed each day as it came. People were always smiling and laughing, and even the fighting was good natured. The streets were bustling but not full. They were cleaned regularly, maintaining the gorgeous cobblestone walks and the beautiful vintage architecture. It was warm here – a quintessential coastal retreat in the Mediterranean that she’d only ever imagined in her dreams or seen on travel TV. Everything considered, it was the opposite of New York, and despite having lived in the city she and Henry called home for more than ten years, Emma had to admit she didn’t miss it… at least not as much as she thought she would.

Don’t get too attached, Emma. This is temporary. Enjoy it while you can, but your real life is nothing like this.

The voice in her head was negative, but had a point, and Emma had no choice but to heed the advice. She would enjoy every bit of this she could, but she couldn’t get too comfortable, otherwise she’d miss this when they left. Even thinking of the heartbreak that may come if Henry continued to love it here so much left her reeling, but Emma carried on, pushing down that worry as she made her way past the institute’s front gates. It was important that she be in the right headspace when walking through these doors. The kids deserved her at 100%, and that was what she planned to be for them. Shaking off the worry from moments ago she moved inside, and as soon as she arrived, she was greeted by the sound of children running and laughing.

Some people might look at this place right now, apparently filled to the brim with kids who were wired and excitable now that it was officially summer and the school term was over, and think that this was chaos, but Emma knew better by now. Every child here ranging in age from six months to sixteen was attended to and accounted for. They had a large brood of kids, with sixty-seven at last count, and this was the biggest home under the JR foundation, though there were half a dozen more around the small country. Many children who were here would eventually be adopted, or would merge into part of a nationally funded fostering program, known for being one of the best systems in the world. In their last two years of school, older children went to special homes or foster placements designed just for them, to give them the attention and time they needed (instead of leaving them to the wayside for the sake of younger, needier children), and to prepare them for life outside of the system. Emma would eventually shadow a center that worked with those young adults, but for now, she was enjoying the hustle and bustle of the general group.

“Look, Char, it’s Emma!” one young boy named Thomas proclaimed to his little sister Charlotte from across the room, and in seconds every child had turned and was excitedly greeting her. Some of them came right up to hug her or give her a high five, but at the very least they all nodded in her direction and chirped out a fond hello.

“Good morning everyone,” Emma said, noticing the bags along the doorway and how the older kids were dressed in a uniform of navy colored shorts and florescent green shirts. “Did I miss something?” Emma asked aloud, not really to anyone in particular, but an answer came from one of the institute’s most trusted sources.

“Flora is taking the older children to the seaside today for a science lesson.”

The woman who filled Emma in was named Elsa, and despite the humidity in the air and the exuberance of the children all around them, she was totally put together and looked completely unstressed. Her hair was tied back in her usual braid, and her turquoise colored summer dress flowed in a way that looked poised for a summer catalogue. Elsa was effortless in an enviable way, but she was so kind and eager to be of help that Emma couldn’t begin to muster jealousy. In a short time Emma had begun to consider Elsa a friend, but though the two of them were roughly the same age, Emma was still a student and Elsa was a fully-fledged child psychologist who lived at the institute full time. She, and her sister Anna, who also worked at the institute, but as an activity’s coordinator, were two peas in a pod, but they’d done everything they could to include Emma and help her get her bearings in this new world.

“Lessons? In the summer?” Emma asked, not surprised that the institute was providing supplementary schooling year-round. She’d seen as much since starting here, but she was more taken aback at how excited these kids looked. Every child aged ten and older was gathered down here, no doubt waiting to fill the two institute vans out back. Still, how fun could a science lesson be?

“We use the term lessons lightly. For the rest of the morning the children will explore the tide pools at the national endowment’s shoreline about an hour north. There are some very unique ecosystems there, and so there is a whole lot to learn. But Flora will have them break for lunch and Anna takes over in the afternoon.”

“What’s she got in store for them?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“Well I can’t exactly say, as I’ve been sworn to secrecy.” Her smile grew at how silly that sounded, and she looked over her shoulder to check for Anna, but gave a little more when she saw that the coast was clear. “Let’s just say it’s going to be a jam-packed day that will go out with a blaze of glory.”

The emphasis Elsa used on the word ‘blaze’ made Emma think that there would likely be a beachside bonfire included, but before she could get confirmation, things started moving quickly. The older kids were summoned to the shuttles to go out for their day, and Emma meanwhile saw the clock and realized it was time for her to report to Marco’s office to get her assignment for the day. Moving through the playroom and the sunroom, which had the younger children and the babies respectively, she finally found her way and after knocking she walked into the brightly lit hub of all things here at the institute.

“Ah, good morning, Emma,” Marco said with a big smile, waving her in and gesturing that she should take a seat beside one of the other workers at the institute, Marie. Marie was Marco’s second in command, and though she never used the phase herself, the children had taken to calling her Nana. She had a maternal way about her, and every child seemed to love her as they might a favorite grandmother. “You’re here just in time. I’ve been talking with Marie and we think that today would be a perfect opportunity to try one of your intervention measures.”

“Really?” Emma asked, surprised, but excited at the thought. This would be the third that they had tried, and the last two had gone off without a hitch. “Which one?”

“The ‘Music Makes Me…’ one seems like a good choice. We have a few children who, to now, have been less responsive to our normal socializing measures. Their either shy or hurting, and we’re hoping to help them open up. Elsa’s our counselor on shift today and she’s eager to help oversee this. You’ll take the lead, but she’ll be there for any help you might need. We realize it’s a long-term project,” Marco said, looking down at a piece of paper to check his facts. “You wrote here three times a week for eight weeks. Is that right?”

“Yes, sir. Ideally. Positive identity work can start yielding results as soon as three weeks, but the Princeton Psychology Review did a study this winter that showed children’s habit forming reaches its peak effectiveness after the eight-week mark.”

“And this is one of the projects you modeled off of your own parenting experience, correct?” Marco asked as Emma nodded. Her throat grew tight at the genuine emotion behind this tactic, but this was a place with people she trusted not to judge her. As such, she shared what sparked the idea.

“When Henry first started school, he was one of the only kids that wasn’t in a two-parent household. Even the other single parents had some sort of family behind them, like grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other kids. I’m not exactly sure how long he struggled with being different in that way, he’s an independent kid and he kept his pain over that closed in, probably to spare me from being worried. But when his teachers gave me their assessment and told me what they thought was happening, I set something not dissimilar to this up. We tried painting and crafting to express his emotions, but the music seemed to help so much more.”

“It’s really remarkable, the way you’ve melded your experience with your son and your own past in with all of this cutting-edge research. It’s one of the many reasons we’re so thrilled you’re with us this year,” Marie said cheerfully and Emma warmed at the comment. Telling the story of her son’s pain at not having a father, however vague she had kept it, was hard, especially because Emma lay awake many nights wondering if he was missing something fundamental by not having a father. She wondered if it may hurt him in the long run. But she was reassured by the fact that she always did her best for Henry, and that her experience could help not just her son, but the children here who had no present parents at all.

“Given that it’s rather late notice, do you think you can manage? We’ve got a window right now for a few hours. Elsa’s already selected the children who may need the intervention most. She kept it in the 5-8 age range as you suggested.”

Emma immediately assured them that she could pull this together, as the concept was not hard. Basically what this practice/exercise included was playing music that was grounded in emotion. Some that were happy, some more subdued, some fast, and some slow, and encouraging kids to do what they wanted when they heard that. For Henry he’d always loved to run around and dance at the fast-paced songs. Then the slower ones were always more interesting. Sometimes he picked up a favorite toy, drew a picture on the supplies she left out, or created his own little imaginary game. All the while, however, Emma’s job was to engage, support, and ask questions.

The questions always started mildly. What’s your favorite color today? (she’d learned early not to box her son into ultimate favorites). If you could have any snack in the world what would you choose? What animal makes the funniest sound? Then the questions would evolve. Her son, like many kids, was a vivid dreamer and Emma often asked about those night time visions. Sometimes they meant nothing but sometimes they told her a lot. She wanted to include that with these kids, but also include more focused questions to them about how they felt here at the institute, what they felt like when they told people from the outside about living here, and what they dreamed of for the future. She’d always ended each session with Henry in two parts. The first was to ask Henry what his biggest wish was for someone else, and the second was to ask his biggest wish for himself. Kids at his age were filled with wishes and wants, but Emma knew from personal experience, that that may already be flickering away in kids without parents. She’d been seven years old when her hope truly started to fade away, and she believed if she’d had these kind of positive affirmations and people who were working to see her happy and well situated, her relationship with the world and herself would have been much easier.

In the end, Marco, Marie, and Elsa decided that there were five best candidates for today’s intervention. Stella and Timothy were a biological brother and sister who had been at the institute for about a year. They were eight and six, and both of them were doing pretty well despite their parents losing custody of them from continued problems with substance abuse. They were likely moving into a fostering situation by the end of the summer, but they had been here a bit longer than normal because they were bonded together and making that accommodation took patience and the right placement. According to Elsa, Stella’s teachers a few times had mentioned her shyness, especially when people brought up her home life. Malek was a seven-year-old boy from a similar situation, though his father was in the process of getting clean for his son. The institute was always cautious for replacement with parents who struggled, but if his father could demonstrate stability and stay clean a full year, the legal system would grant him custody again. Malek, understandably, had mixed feelings about going back, and Emma wanted to try and help him with those through this process. Carlos, meanwhile, was a rambunctious six-year-old who had been given up at birth. He was shaped by his status as an orphan, and had a few close adoption calls that ultimately fell through. Luckily, though, a new family with sincere interest and the means to take care of him was stepping up, and they had exactly eight weeks before the system would process their filing for adoption, a perfect amount of time to help Carlos with some of these image issues before he settled into his new home.

The final child in Emma’s care today, however, was Cecilia, or as the other children called her, ‘CeeCee.’ Cecelia was a newcomer to the institute, and at just barely five years old, she was the youngest in Emma’s group today. She was quiet and withdrawn, but given her background that was all to be expected. At such a young age Cecelia had already been through so much. When she was two her parents had tragically passed in a car accident, and she’d moved in with her grandmother. Her grandmother was loving and did everything she could for her, but she was in poor health, and was now in need of care herself. Emma wasn’t here on the day that Cecelia came to the foundation, but Elsa had mentioned it with tears in her eyes a few days prior.

“I’ve seen so much heartbreak in this job, but watching that little girl realize she was being left behind… It was awful. She cried so quietly and for so long. It took us weeks to get her to say anything at all.”

Even now Cecelia was always quiet. She’d blended in a bit more with the other children, but she wasn’t particularly bonded to any of them. She had grown to be more trusting of the adults, but not in a really promising way. With Emma she’d always been sweet and well-tempered, but Emma hoped that this process might help her, and might get her to a place where she could be better socialized and cared for. The next few hours proved to be even more promising than Emma dared to hope. All five children not only had fun, but made good steps towards progress. They all confided a little bit in Emma and Elsa, and they all responded well to the method. When Emma asked them if they’d like to do this again in a few days, all five of them were thrilled, and little Cecelia, who was normally so shy, was the biggest shock of all. Over the course of the few hours she’d opened up so much to Emma, and by the end of the session she was holding Emma’s hand tightly, intent on going with her through her day. Emma was so happy to see this little girl doing so much better, and she had to admit she was invested in this child, perhaps more than any other she’d met so far at the institute.

“Do you think it’s all right?” Emma asked, motioning downwards, but not saying everything aloud. The last thing she wanted was for Cecelia to not feel wanted when she’d made such tremendous progress, but she was worried about what might happen if she grew too attached.

“This happens sometimes. Kids have a sense for safe spaces. She was already responding really well to you before,” Elsa said, crouching down and waving at Cecelia, sharing a soft compliment for the toy rabbit she was carrying with her today, which made the little girl smile and chirp out a gentle ‘Thank You.’ Even that little show of gratitude and the genuine smile was an improvement, and Emma felt a burst of pride seeing this young girl come out of her shell. “We’ll keep an eye on it, but I think it’s best to see where it goes. She’s showing no signs of dependency, and hopefully you’ll be the perfect gateway for her to let the rest of us in.”

Emma hoped that Elsa was right, and as everyone in the center gathered for lunch, Cecelia stayed close by. Emma did her best to stay attentive to all of the kids who choose to eat with her today, but she also wanted to lead this lost little girl towards others who may be her friends. She was making good progress with another five-year-old named Ava, who was eager to be friendlier with Cecelia, when Marie approached, appearing frazzled and a little shaken.

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked, careful to keep her words calm and her tone even so as not to scare the kids. Her instincts were that something bad must be happening, but Marie shook her head, quickly dispelling her of that notion.

“Everything is wonderful, dear. We just have an unexpected visitor – actually I guess visitor is the wrong word. He’ll be staying on here for a while to work with us all. It’s a bit unexpected, but I dare say it’ll prove a delight in the end, for us and for the children.”

“Who is it that’s coming?” Emma asked, and Marie looked poised to blurt something out, but then caught herself and weighed her words carefully.

“One of the members of the family who run the foundation.”

Emma now began to understand the sudden rise in stress. Whatever JR stood for, and whichever family it was that could afford to spend so much on these resources, they must be both terribly rich and powerful. Being so new here, Emma didn’t know any background about the endowment, but she hoped that whoever was coming would be a help and not a hindrance. Surely they’d come here and see how much good work was being accomplished. She hated to think they’d be coming to make cuts or roll back funding.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Emma asked and Marie shook her head.

“Oh no dear. You’re doing a wonderful job. This isn’t an assessment of any kind. I believe it’s a genuine act of charity. You see he’s been in the military, and now he’s come home. His family’s no doubt pushing him towards some kind of occupation, and he’s chosen this as his pursuit.”

Emma wanted to ask more, about if this mystery man had any experience with kids or why, even if he was so very rich, Marie displayed school-girlish enthusiasm at his coming, but the older woman moved on to handle something else. Instead Emma waved Elsa over and asked her if she knew the man who was coming.

“Of course I do, everyone knows him,” Elsa said, thoroughly adamant that this stranger was of some notoriety. Then her features softened and she took on a thoughtful expression. “Well I suppose we know of him. We’ve never met, you see. But it’s impossible not to know him.”

Emma nodded, but she was still somewhat surprised. To this point she hadn’t gathered a sense that the family who ran the endowment was exceedingly involved in the day to day of the center. But then again, Elsa had been here far longer than her, and so she probably needed to keep track of the important players who were their most generous donors. Emma could have remained hung up on the strangeness of it all, but instead her mind wandered to the few details she did know. He was a military man, newly home, and he was coming here to make a difference. She thought about that and what that meant, and she found that she already liked him, or at least his attitude. Serving in the armed forces meant a life of service – to come home from that and still want to help others was admirable, and she hoped it would provide a good role model for the children, no matter what his actual child life background might be.

From the window in the great hall where all of the children and staff took their meals, they could all see down the back drive where a second entrance to the center was located. At that moment three black SUVs began their ascent, and the children’s attention immediately perked up as they ran to the windows. Emma felt the growing anticipation at the new arrival, and she wondered why there would need to be three SUVs. It reminded her of the protective details that sometimes came in the city, when big time politicians made their way to city hall where she worked for some sort of meeting or photo op. But what would be the reason for such a display today? Why would anyone need one of those when coming to a children’s center? It was hard to grasp, but then she questioned her instinct. The men who exited from the vehicles weren’t in high profile suits. They were more casually dressed, just like any workers here at the center. She wasn’t able to see all of them, but soon enough there were voices in the hall. Marco and Marie greeted the newcomer, and Emma only caught a snippet of the conversation.

“We’re thrilled to have you here, Sir.”

“Killian, please.”

“Killian. Right, sorry. That may take getting used to.”

“Not a problem. We have time.”

Emma was caught up in the sound of the new voice. It was distant, but even from here she felt an impact at the gravel in the tone and the lilt of the accent. It washed over her, sparking a sizzling sensation that was foreign to her, and after weeks in this country she’d always found the accent pleasing, but never responded like this. She found herself wanting to know what this man looked like, to see what kind of appearance could go with a voice that enticing, but she was getting ahead of herself. What did it matter what he looked like? He was going to be a coworker, right? This was hardly the time or place to be interested in someone. Still her stomach swooped with the tell-tale flutter of butterflies and she shifted in her seat. The action, along with the new voice in the hall, sparked something in Cecelia to change from comfortable to tense. The young girl grabbed at Emma’s shirt, latching on for a sense of perceived safety. Emma’s heart reached out to this poor, sweet girl, and she took her hand gently, trying to assure her as swiftly as she could.

“It’s all right, honey. You’re safe here. I promise.”

“I don’t like strangers,” Cecelia said and Emma tried not to get misty eyed at the sense of uncertainty this little girl held so tight.

“I was a stranger once, wasn’t I?” Emma asked and Cecelia considered that before nodding.

“But you’re nice to me. You read us stories and play us music. You’re my most favorite friend.”

“And you are my friend too, honey. So let’s wait and see what kind of person he is before we decide if we like him, okay? You never know – he could be your favorite too.”

Cecelia looked skeptical but ultimately agreed, and Emma was glad to have that sorted. She had been so focused on curtailing Cecelia’s worry that she forgot where they were. Now she noticed everyone else was standing, children and staff alike, so she helped Cecelia down from her seat and stood up herself. The sounds of people walking in played out around her, but Emma took a moment to make sure her young charge was settled before looking back up. She patted Cecelia’s hair and brushed her full brown curls from her face, with care. Only then did she look up. But when she did, she never could have expected what would happen.

As her eyes took in the stranger, their gazes met, and she was struck by a sense of recognition and realization that she’d never felt before. Something clicked for her in that moment, in the first few seconds of their seeing each other, and her awareness grew stronger and stronger. So much bubbled up to the surface, emotions and feelings and desire and interest. It was like something was opened within her, and she felt drawn into this man and unable to resist. This stranger had blue eyes, intense but warm all at once, piercing in a way that they seemed like she knew them and they knew her. Instinctively she looked to the rest of him - Killian he said his name was - but it didn’t help her sense of disorientation. His face was remarkable, strong and sure. His hair was dark, and his figure was no doubt honed for the expectations of his years of military service. She felt herself taking him all in, and then caught herself and thought about what a scene she was making. This wasn’t appropriate. Oggling this man just because he was hot – okay more than hot, he was… god was it lame to say perfect – oh Christ she was doing it again. She needed to stop, but when she looked up at him, she caught him doing the same thing to her. It was incredible to feel his interest, and for a moment it was like the world stopped spinning so the two of them could find each other.

Find each other? Jesus, Emma, get a grip. The thought ran through her head as Marco began to address them all.

“Everyone, this is our newest friend here at the institute, Killian.”

“You’re big,” a boy named Seamus called out, unceremoniously and for a beat Marco and Marie looked concerned, but Killian only laughed.

“You should see my brother.”

“Is he coming too?” Marie asked, looking like she might actually be done in by the news.

“No, ma’am,” Killian said with a small smile and Marie let out a sigh of relief. What was that about?

“Why do you stand so straight?” another boy asked and Killian explained.

“I was in the royal navy.” This was met by a chorus of oohs and aahs, from the girls and boys alike.

“Are you a good person?” someone asked, and only after a moment did Emma realize it was Cecelia. She was shocked at the display of bravery from her little companion, but then that was compounded by Killian’s movement towards them. He split his looks between Cecelia and her, but when he approached he crouched down so as to be eye level with the little girl.

“What’s your name, little one?”

“Cecelia.”

“Cecelia. That’s a beautiful name,” he said honestly and Cecelia swayed side to side a bit with the compliment. “Now as for your question, I certainly try to be good.”

“But you’re a stranger,” Cecelia said, looking at him with a furrowed brow, as if this was some kind of simple math he should understand.

“For now I am. But not forever, I hope.”

“My Emma was a stranger too. She’s a good person. Are you like my Emma?”

Now Killian rose to full height and he addressed Emma as much as he did Cecelia. “I do like her.” Emma’s heart skipped and then she watched his face shift in embarrassment as he realized what he said. “I mean I hope I’m like her, lass. But only time will tell.”

“Miss Emma, does time talk?” Cecelia asked and Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing as her eyes caught Killian’s again.

“No, honey. It’s an expression. It means that with a little bit of time you will know if he’s a good person. You just have to be patient.”

The look Killian gave her in that moment was packed with so much. Gratitude, interest, and something more. There was a charge between them that she just couldn’t deny, and she could tell he felt it too. But before he could say anymore, Marco called everyone’s attention again.

“Anyone have any ideas as to how we should welcome Killian?” he asked and a chorus of answers came flooding in.

“I know! I know! We should show him our giving tree.”

“No! We should show him our playground!”

“I want to show him my pirate ship!”

“We should feed him the turnovers Cook makes. She hides them in a secret spot but I know where they are!”

“Well that all sounds brilliant, especially the turnovers. Why don’t we do all of it?” Killian asked, before looking to Marco who nodded readily. The kids looked excited, and were eager to go, but before things got too crazy, Killian looked back at Emma and grinned.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Emma.”

And with that, and with so much swag and sexiness it made her a little dizzy, this mysterious new man set off, throwing himself into the deep end with these kids, and showing them all that he could hold as own, just as surely as he could hold her attention.

Post-Note: So there we have it! I know, I know, you’re probably mad I kept their meeting so short and waited until the very end, but next chapter I am planning to include this first meeting from Killian’s POV. This story, as much as any of my stories can, has a bit of a slower build, because there are a lot of elements I really want to include, but I promise there’s plenty of fluff in store and a lot of cuteness that yet to come. Thank you all so much for reading, and I really hope you’ll leave a comment or a review. I’d love to see what you all think and what you’d like to see going forward in this new fic. Anyway, I will do my best to update soon (probably next weekend), but in the meantime I hope you’re all well, safe, and happy in this uncertain time!

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marril96 · 5 years

Text

The Distance Between Us

Epilogue: What the Future Holds

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Five years later...

A/N: Here we are, folks. This is the end. I would like to thank everyone who helped me get this story to where it is. From my wonderful editors to my faithful readers — I appreciate every single one of you amazing people. Thank you so much! For reading, commenting, helping me out, talking to me, believing in me, encouraging me to continue even when it was hard. I hope the ending is satisfying enough, and that we will hang out soon when I work on my other projects. Best of regards, Mariana. ♥

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

*****

There was nothing better than a wedding to get the old gang back together.

It had been a while since you'd seen everyone all at once.

Five long years — ever since you'd graduated high school.

There were times when it felt as if it had happened yesterday. As if you'd just said goodbye to your friends before everyone went their own way, their own direction, colleges and jobs calling.

Time sure liked to fly.

You made sure to stay in contact with everyone. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram; all tools you readily used. They were your friends. Some distance couldn't change that.

The seven of you had your own Facebook chat group that was filled to the brim with messages. Memes were shared. Laughs exchanged — in emoji form, but laughs nonetheless. News, good and bad, were told. Advices asked for and given.

It almost felt like old times.

Almost.

But not quite.

The truth was, despite how hard you tried to maintain your friendship, things changed.

Life happened.

Sam had gone to Stanford on full scholarship, dreaming big of contributing to the world, helping save it. With the way things were going, you were confident he would do it. If anyone could help make the world a better place, it was him.

In his free time, he liked to give speeches on healthy lifestyles, which, for some bizarre reason, consisted of consuming a lot of kale.

A kale smoothie had become a signature of his, the cup seemingly glued to his hand.

He'd become a hit on the internet for it. A meme everyone in your friend group shared and poked fun at. Light-heartedly, of course.

Dean was convinced Sam was doing it to embarrass him.

Sam, in turn, had told him a healthier diet would do him good.

Dean wasn't interested, and, a few hours later, had posted a picture of himself stuffing a big, greasy hamburger into his mouth with the caption #DownWithKale.

Sam was not amused.

Crowley had changed his name as soon as he'd turned eighteen. Crowley had officially become his name, Fergus long forgotten, thrown in the trash where he felt it belonged.

His family still called him Fergus.

Well, Rowena and his mother did. Gavin, the good boy that he was, had always referred to him as Crowley, which was why he was Crowley's favorite family member (his only family member, if he had any say in it).

He'd gone into studying business, rich businessman future planned out to the smallest details. He'd intended to work his way to the top; it would take a while, but he was confident hard work, combined with his cunning, ambitious nature, would earn him the throne.

Maybe, he'd mused, he could eventually open his own company. Be his own boss. Set his own terms.

May he have the best of luck.

Castiel had gone into teaching. A surprising choice of career, especially considering his awkward nature, but it was what he wanted to do. Helping kids. Guiding them by his own example.

He certainly had the drive for it.

Who knows? Maybe kids would like him. Maybe they would like his awkwardness.

Meg, not really the scholarly type, had gone to community college and had found herself working in a supermarket.

She hated her job, and she hated the customers even more. The chat was frequently filled with her rants about one thing or another that had occurred at work that particular day.

Funny stuff, usually.

Especially when she snapped at customers and got reprimanded for it, but kept doing it anyway because her boss knew all too well he couldn't afford to lose her as an employee.

Instead of a college, Dean had gone into trades. He'd opened his own little mechanic shop back in Lawrence. It was hard work, far from ideal, paid just enough to cover the costs of living, but he enjoyed it. He was happy.

That was all that mattered.

Rowena had worked hard on her intensive at Joffrey. It was a difficult three months; she was always practicing, always dancing, on her feet from dawn to dusk. You'd barely gotten to talk, aside from the weekends, which you'd spent in front of your phones or laptops, Skype open, smiles wide as you talked about each week's events.

You'd missed her so much.

Too much.

But, as with all things, the intensive had eventually ended and you'd gotten to have her home for a week — a whole week! — before college officially started.

The two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other that entire time.

It wasn't enough — seven measly days was far from enough — but it was something.

After three months of drought, it was the welcome, desperately awaited rain.

Parting for college was even more difficult. You'd each gone your own way, different as you were, each pursuing your own dream.

It was a struggle, but, like the intensive, you'd made it work.

You'd kept in contact. Skyped at every available moment. Traveled to one another's schools when the opportunity arose. Made sure to spend the holidays (the most important ones) together.

And, just like that, years had gone by, and soon enough school was behind you and you were together once again.

The decision to move in together was a mutual one. It was more of an understanding, really. With school behind you, jobs calling, and the relationship stronger than ever even all these years later, it just made sense to take it a step further.

Why wouldn't you live together?

You did everything else together, so you might as well, to quote Crowley every time he walked in on you making out, get a room.

So you did.

You rented an apartment in Manhattan. A small one that, despite its size, was warm and pleasant and felt just like home.

Your and Rowena's home.

Sometimes it felt like a dream.

As if, every moment now, you would wake up and realize the last five years of your life were nothing but a fantasy, a product of your sleeping mind.

Then you would kiss Rowena's cheek, take a sip of tea from her mug just to tease her (her glares and pouts were adorable), and smile, and the reality — your reality, one you'd worked hard to accomplish, your so wished for future — would settle in and all the silly thoughts would go away as if they'd never existed.

You'd made it.

The future you'd dreamed of, that you and Rowena had planned for so thoroughly, had come to be.

It wasn't perfect, but it was yours.

Rowena had found work at Broadway. She was a dancer, and an excellent one; with Joffrey on her resume, the job was hers the moment she'd stepped into the audition room.

You were having difficulty with finding employment yourself, but, luckily, her pay was enough to cover the living costs of the two of you.

You felt bad; the last thing you wanted was to look as if you were taking advantage. But she'd made it clear she didn't mind. You were together. A family, for no other word could describe what you had, what you'd built and grew together. What was hers was yours, and vice versa.

Being a housewife wasn't your ideal profession, if one could call it that, but it wasn't bad.

It was, dare you say it, fun.

You found yourself enjoying awaiting Rowena's return after a long, exhausting day on her feet — literally — with a loving hug, a peck on the lips, and a warm meal on the table — a delivery from a restaurant or a warmed up can, for cooking was a skill you were still far from perfecting.

You were happy.

And so was she.

The two of you made it work.

Lately, Rowena had been considering joining the Royal Ballet. It was a big step, one that required careful thinking and plenty of discussions.

Moving to another city was one thing.

Moving to another country, half across the world, on the other hand…

She'd made it clear she wasn't going to make the decision without you. This concerned you, too; if you wanted to stay in New York, you would stay.

Both of you.

She just wanted you to think about it, weigh in cons and pros.

And you did.

You'd been thinking about it for weeks.

Bless her heart, Rowena was patient. She didn't push you, or rush you, or try to guilt you. She left you to your own pace.

You were immensely grateful for it.

By the time the wedding came, you were pretty sure you'd made up your mind.

In a day or two — hell, maybe even today, after the ceremony — you would tell her.

It was a small wedding, closest family and friends only. Sam was never one for parties. He and Eileen had rented a small cottage with a beautiful yard they'd decorated themselves. Quite cheap, as far as American weddings went, but lovely.

This was a wedding for love, not luxury.

When Sam had announced he was engaged in the group chat a year ago, you weren't surprised. You'd always had a feeling he would go for it first. While Dean was a one night stand kind of guy, Sam was more the settle down type. The kind of guy who kicked ass at work during the day and then cuddled with his wife and kids at night. The picture of a family man.

And, god, would he be a good one!

He was sweet and caring, a wonderful friend, and, no doubt, an even more wonderful boyfriend. Husband material, if you ever knew one.

Eileen was equally sweet, equally amazing. A lovely girl who treated everyone like a friend and loved Sam with all her heart.

They were perfect for each other.

Seeing your gang together after five years, in person, in full color, was an experience that was almost supernatural. There was screaming and squealing and hugging and teasing. You'd forgotten how noisy you were all together.

Your mind flashed back to high school, to afternoons at Biggerson's, sipping at your smoothies and coffees and stealing fries off each other's plates.

Those were the days.

There wasn't much difference to either of you. You were older, but other than that, you still looked the same. You teased each other as you'd used to, joked as if you were still that bunch of high schoolers who had the whole world under their feet.

There were changes, obviously. Inevitably. Some subtle, others not so much.

Sam's hair was an inch or so shorter, or so it looked in the pictures (he was still getting ready, having not yet shown himself to the guests).

You followed his example, having never been one for big change. Shorter hair was shorter hair, even if only a bit.

Dean bore — proudly — a few scars. Work injuries, though you were willing to bet he'd earned a couple in the bar fights he liked to brag about.

"You should see the other guy," he always said.

You never had any particular desire to.

Crowley had a small beard, and wore it well; it made him look older, more mature.

Emphasis on look, for he and Rowena still bickered like brats.

Gavin, the actual child of the family, was more mature than the two of them.

Rowena wore less sparkly clothes (she now saved those for special occasions). Instead, she preferred to wear dress pants and blouses that you found strangely arousing.

Sometimes you got her to role-play in them. She made one delicious businesswoman.

Castiel dressed the same, trench coat over everything (even wore the damn thing to the wedding), looked the same, acted the same, however, his change was big.

It tied right into Meg's for she was seven months pregnant, and her stomach was appropriately swollen to showcase it.

She'd gained a bit of weight and dyed her hair blonde, but her character remained the same.

She was still that same foul-mouthed, opinionated firecracker of a girl.

And you loved her for it.

"You look great!" you told her first thing you saw her. Then you threw an arm around her, your other one wrapping around Castiel, and said, "I couldn't wait to congratulate you guys in person! I'm so happy for you!"

You were.

Happy from the bottom of your heart.

Ecstatic.

Proud.

The two of them had done well for themselves. Like your and Rowena's, their life wasn't perfect, but they made it work. They lived it to the fullest.

They were happy.

In love.

Excited for the baby, a joyous little accident.

You weren't the parenting type, (neither was Rowena), however, while raising a family wasn't your particular dream, you couldn't have been more excited for them.

This was what they wanted.

What kind of a friend would you be if you judged?

Families came in all shapes and sizes.

As did dreams. Ambitions. Aspirations.

Supporting them, wishing them well in any and every form — that was the true meaning of friendship.

Meg and Castiel would make amazing parents.

Weird and eccentric, but still amazing.

That baby would be one happy, very loved kid. Surrounded by a large family of aunts and uncles, all loving, caring, eager to spoil them.

Blood-related and not.

As far as Meg and Castiel were concerned, your group was family.

It was definitely better than some actual family members.

Like Castiel's father, good old Principal Shurley, who'd, a couple years ago, gotten himself into quite a bit of trouble for embezzlement.

The news didn't quite shock you as it should have. There was always something about him.

Lucifer never stopped getting in trouble. Only, once he was out of school, his daddy couldn't sweet talk his way out of it (not that he hadn't tried; Castiel talked quite a bit about Chuck's restless attempts, and failures, to save him) and thus the darling little angel had gotten himself quite a record.

Assault.

Harassment.

Battery.

You name it, he'd done it.

It turned out that the police didn't give a damn about what daddy Shurley had to say about his son's character.

They surely gave even less of a damn now that he was serving his sentence for embezzlement.

Lucifer was currently with him, doing a two year stint for… something.

It was hard to keep track when it came to him.

The current Lawrence Hugh's principal was Amara Shurley, Chuck's sister, because of course she was.

Nepotism for the win!

Though, from everything you'd heard, she was, so far, doing a great job. Far better than her brother ever did.

Castiel had cut all ties with his father and brother. He'd considered doing so earlier, but now that he was expecting a child, the decision came with ease.

He didn't want his child around criminals. Didn't want them to set the wrong example.

That alone told you he was going to be a great father.

The ceremony, modest as it was, was beautiful. Eileen, in her snow-white dress, looked like a princess. No — a queen, the veil a doubling as a crown. Sam was equally handsome, clad in a black suit that made him look somewhat older, more mature, a fairy tale prince come to life.

They said their vows with so much love on their faces you were one hundred percent certain they would make do on them to the letter.

Til death did them part.

There were smiles. Tears. So much joy it was overwhelming.

Meg was the lucky one who caught the bouquet, only to promptly, in a deadpan tone, say, "No," and shove it in Crowley's hands.

Crowley shoved it in Dean's, who shoved it back to him and started what was basically a struggle over the damn thing.

Not marriage material, your group.

Sam was the black sheep.

Laughter was exchanged.

Food — delicious! — eaten.

Drinks downed and refilled.

Dances had.

Aside from the newlyweds, Rowena had proven herself to be quite an attraction with her precise, professional moves. Everyone wanted to be her partner.

Not a dancer yourself, you had no problem with it.

However, after what had to be the tenth request, you considered charging people to dance with your girlfriend.

It was only fair.

The celebration extended long into the night. There was enough alcohol to keep everyone going.

The place, located in the middle of nowhere, was perfect for a party. No neighbors to complain about the noise. No busybodies sticking their nose in. Just a group of people having the fun of their lives, drunk out of their minds.

By the time you and Rowena arrived to your hotel, you were exhausted. There was more alcohol than blood in your veins. Your feet were killing you. Your throat ached from singing and shouting.

You hadn't even removed your clothes — shaking off your shoes, you plopped on the bed, curled up against each other, and drifted off to sleep.

When you woke up, Rowena was looking at you with a smile on her face. Your head pounding as if someone were whacking it with a hammer, eyes stinging, it took a bit of willpower to pull on one of your own.

"Were you watching me sleep?" Your voice was raspy, broken. You cleared your throat. Sucked in a breath.

God.

Singing had been a mistake.

Her smile melted into a smirk. She shrugged, nonchalant. Denying not a single thing. "I was just thinking."

"Should I be worried?" you teased.

"I'd hope not."

Her face grew serious.

Uh oh.

Now you definitely were worried.

Morning — a hungover one at that — was the worst possible time for serious conversations.

It wasn't a surprise, though.

Rowena prided herself in her unpredictability.

"What is it?" you asked, light draining from your face. Preparing for news that, at best, would be unpleasant, and, at worst, absolutely horrible.

"Sam and Eileen seem happy."

They did.

They were happy.

You nodded.

Rowena sighed, "Do you think we're happy?"

What was she trying to say? Heart racing, lump forming in your throat, you uttered a tad too defensively, "Do you think we're not?"

"Of course not!"

She seemed genuine, so there was that.

You allowed yourself a moment of relief. "Me, neither. I'm happy."

"As am I."

Good.

That was good.

You were on the same level.

She was silent for a few moments. Thought her words through. "I was just wondering if we should… take it a step further."

You frowned. "What do you mean?"

You had an inkling, but you wanted to hear it from her.

You wanted her to confirm it.

Rowena swallowed. "Get married."

It was as if all air had vanished from your lungs. Your throat was dry. Heart, once again, running a marathon. Hands shaking as if you were cold.

You weren't — you couldn't be — for as soon as the words left her mouth, a wave of heat flooded you, filled you up from head to toe.

Marriage wasn't on your list of priorities.

Wasn't on any of your lists, as a matter of fact.

You and Rowena loved each other — you didn't need a piece of paper to prove it.

But…

It would be a lie if you said you hadn't considered it once or twice.

What would it be like to call yourself her wife? To wear her ring; a promise in the form of shimmery gold?

"Or maybe just get engaged," she said after a few moments of uncomfortable, deafening silence. "Wear the rings."

You looked at her, eyes wide. Mouth trembling.

She gulped. Uncertain. Frightened. Nervous to the bone. "We don't have to. I was just… thinking out loud." She pulled on another smile — a fake on this time, hurt flickering over her face no matter how hard she tried to mask it. "Forget I said anything."

"No." You reached for her hand, twined your fingers with hers in a tight knot. "We could try."

She was stunned. "Really?"

"I don't see why not."

What was the worst that could happen?

You were already together. Already happy and crazy in love.

"We could try the engagement thing, see if it works," you said.

You had nothing to lose.

At this point, you could only gain.

Rowena beamed. A chuckle escaped her; lovely, happy. Adorable. "Okay!"

It was a perfect arrangement.

"I will get you a ring," she added. "Make it official."

"How about we both get rings?" you said. This was kind of a mutual proposal, after all. And also… "There's nice jewelry shops in the UK, right?"

It was her turn to be confused. "What?"

Your decision.

The one you'd been planning to relay to her.

The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

"We don't have to get engaged in USA, right?" you said. "Think about it. You, a Royal Ballerina. Me, a not-so-royal couch potato. That's a romance movie right there!"

Rowena gasped. Swallowed. Breathed in and out in attempts to contain her excitement. "You want to move to Britain?"

"That's what I'm saying, aren't I?" You grinned. Squeezed her hand. "I've been meaning to tell you. I figured now's the perfect time."

"Y/N, I…" She brought your linked hands to her mouth, kissed your knuckles. "Thank you! I just… Thank you, darling!"

You locked your lips with hers. Deepened the kiss, melted into it. Thought of millions of more you would share.

The future was yours.

All you had to do was seize it. Take it. Dig your claws in and never let go.

"Don't you forget me when you become a world-famous ballerina," you teased.

"Och, darling," she purred, "don't you know by now you're quite unforgettable?"

You chuckled. "Just making sure."

She pecked you on the mouth. "I love you."

"Me, too."

You'd loved her for five years.

You'd loved her when she was bad, and even more when she became good.

You'd loved her when she was away, and you'd loved her when she was here.

You'd loved her in your apartment.

You'd loved her in the United States.

And you would love her in the United Kingdom.

You loved her now, and you would love her in the future.

Forever.

And ever.

Til death did you part.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @ruthieconnells @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock

#rowena #rowena macleod #spn #supernatural #spn family #crowley #fergus macleod #sam winchester #eileen leahy #dean winchester #meg masters #castiel #fanfiction #my fics #high school au #rowena x reader

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bangtanficgallery · 5 years

Text

Criminal

author: bangtanficgallery

word count: 1751 (maybe more)

warnings: none

genre: criminal!yoongi, fluff

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: “He is a bad boy with a tainted heart and even I know this ain’t smart, but mama I’m in love with a criminal and this type of love isn’t rational, it’s physical. Mama please don’t cry, I will be alright. All reason aside I just can’t deny, I love the guy”

“Mom”

“Y/N? Oh my god, Y/N where are you?”

“Mom, just listen to me”

“Where are you? We’ve been looking for you for months I don’t know w-”

“Mom, just stop! Listen what I have to say or else I’m going to hang up and you’re never going to hear about me again”

Suddenly the line got quiet, she’s waiting. Also, she is desperate. Knowing my mom, she would never shut up. I could feel the tears going down my cheeks and my head starting to ache, but I tried my best to keep my voice stable.

“I’m not coming back home” my mom started to speak again but I cut her “I can’t, ok? It’s dangerous for you guys, so I have to disappear”

“Oh my beautiful daughter” She was quietly crying “What happened? Please I miss you, we all miss you”

I should be honest with her. At least for the last time.

“I’m in love with a criminal. It’s not what you dreamed for me, it’s not what I dreamed for me, but still. He may be a killer, a robber, a bad boy” I sighed “But I’ve never met someone like him. I have already been with high-class guys, rich college students and successful CEOs, but none of them treated me good like him”

“My daughter, what are you doing?”

“Sorry mom, but I decided already. I wanna go with him and keep my family safe. I’ve been disappointing you, but I want it. I love you”

I hang up.

1 week ago

“Yoongi, you’re sure this is really necessary?”

“Yes”

“But you already have so much…”

“Hey, listen to me. I can’t take both of us from here if I don’t do this, ok? We already talked about this”

He calmly loaded his gun.

“Promise me you’re not going to use this” I pointed to his gun.

Yoongi smiled to me.

“How a lady like you ended with a guy like me?” he kissed me passionately “You are what I need in my life, I don’t need any of this money since I have you by my side. I finally feel complete. But I have to keep you safe”

Safe is everywhere with him, mostly like this engulfed in his arms.

“Take me with you”

“I don’t want you to get involved in this miserable life plus I don’t want your beautiful face printed in all wanted posters”

“So I have to stay here…”

“And wait for me. You’re my good girl, right?”

I nodded.

“It’s time. See you in a while”

Yoongi quickly pecked my lips and got out of the house. Well, not a house. It’s more like a bunker. I got surprised when Yoongi brought me here for the first time, but I’ve been here for so long that I’m already used. I miss the sunlight, of course; it’s always dark down here. This place is an off-map abandoned park out of town. Yoongi’s bunker is under the ghost train. We have to get into the maintenance room and move away a very heavy iron cabinet and pull the trapdoor under it, go down the wood fragile stairs and walk until reach a vault. Once it’s opened, you can see the house. It’s big and the ceiling is rounded. The floor is white marble and all the expensive furniture is black, I wonder how Yoongi brought all of this here. And everything is black. The sheets, towels, cushions dishcloth… I laughed with myself thinking how soft Yoongi is for white even if his house is all black. I’m the only white thing inside this house. I came to his house with only the clothes I had in my body and only Yoongi could bring me new clothes since he’s the only one who can actually go outside. All white. Soft knee socks, skirts and croppeds, ruffles and lace. Even if I miss my old clothes, I smiled every time Yoongi look at me dressed like this, his love evidently in his eyes

“Why always white Yoongi?” I asked once.

“Because is soft. You made me soft and brought light to my dark life”

I have nothing to do here since I don’t have internet to keep myself busy. The house is safe for all kind of cyber tracker, so I try my best to occupy my mind with books and Yoongi have plenty of it. I can’t avoid getting worried about him, even knowing that he is smart enough to never get caught. ‘He’s coming back home soon, Y/N. Don’t freak out’ I keep saying to myself. But I couldn’t stop thinking “and if”. Everything can happen since Yoongi is a lone wolf. Of course he have contacts to keep cops and whatever off his ass, but he do everything alone, doesn’t have anyone to backup him. That’s why I always ask him to come, but he always denies. It’s that difficult to use a gun? Of course I don’t understand a thing about this. I was raised in a luxurious house with everything given in my hand. My future was built, I could be rich and successful with my career and have a pampered and high-class life. But I wasn’t happy. Everything seemed too easy, too fake, too… unhappy. I am a hard-working type of person, I like to be the best, but it seemed like I didn’t need to make any effort to have what I wanted to conquer. I had no one by my side. I was lonely. Everyone approached me for a reason, wanting a favour or take advantage of me. My ex-fiancée was a cheater, a bad person and a profiteer guy. Yoongi saved me from him. When he was about to beat me because I “embarrass” him in front of everyone and Yoongi kicked my ex’s soul out and took me with him. It wasn’t hard to fall for Yoongi. He is an amazing person, a fairytale prince despite what he does for living. He’s the only true person I met in my whole life. So I runaway to be with him and I don’t regret. Think so much was making me sleepy. I went back to the silk sheets and fell asleep instantly.

The sound of water running coming for the bathroom woke me up. Yoongi is finally back! I walked to the bathroom discarding my clothes on the way.

“Mind if I join you?”

“You would be doing me a big favour”

I slowly approached him, looking without blink to his face. Yoongi was smiling with his arms opened where I wanted to be so bad. He hugged me and immediately kissed me roughly but softly, making both of us start combustion. I missed him.

“Don’t be so soft, my flower. I don’t want it to end innocently”

“Take me”

Yoongi laughed, lifting me. I comfortably put my legs around his waist, getting lost in all movements that he was doing to make all of this feel so good.

I couldn’t be tired of Yoongi. Even now when we were collapsed on bed, exhausted, I wanted to show my love for him, caressing all of him that I could see. His milky tattooed skin is soft and beautiful. I got lost in the drawings on his arms and chest, noticing a new addition.

“What’s this?”

“What?”

He looked at me with fake innocence.

“Did you-”

“Yes”

I brushed lightly my fingers on his skin where my name was written. It’s delicate compared to the others. It was close to his heart. I kissed there then kissed my lover. It was a strange feeling of finally have everything I looked for.

“My flower”

“Hum?”

“Let’s be free”

“I’m already free with you, Yoongie”

“I’m talking about being really free. Walking around together, see the sea… So I could take you on a proper date, kiss you under the sunlight”

“Is it possible?”

“Only if you say yes”

“Of course my answer is yes, since if this is what you want to, but how?”

“I have a good friend who asked me to move forward to where he lives a long time ago. He lives in another country”

“Where’s it?”

“Fiji Island”

“Interesting” I laughed.

“I just have to found some fake documents for us and get there. I won’t be afraid of someone take you from me anymore, or do things like this to live. We can be free, have a life, let this life in the past”

His eyes were shining.

“Let’s go there then”

Yoongi laughed and kissed me.

“You gave me purpose. I was just around, having a fake life, telling myself that I was satisfied but I had nothing. I stole and killed, I used to be ok with this, cold-hearted. But now I feel ashamed. I don’t want this life anymore. I want you by my side, having a great life without hiding ourselves”

“I think it’s fate, Yoongi. You saved me too”

“Let’s arrange everything. I love you”

“I love you too”

Yoongi pecked my lips and excitedly got up.

“Where are you going?”

“Ensure our future”

The past week flew. I finally felt useful, helping Yoongi arrange the fake papers and fake documents to get us out of there. We tested everything and contacted a lot his friend, Jimin. He’s very nice and smiley and his very much patient wife helped us with the right place to get good documents with discretion. I was excited and anxious at the same time. Everything could work right or really bad and both of us would end up going to jail. Finally is the last day of our lives here and the beginning of the new life. Yoongi’s hair was dyed blond and I was wearing a cap and covering my face all the way I could. I bought new clothes for me and Yoongi, among other things that we’re going to need in the new country. The only thing I was sad about was the bunker. Yoongi installed explosives and everything is going to blow in one hour. We were already in the way to the airport. I called Jimin asking if is everything alright and ready and he confirmed that they’re waiting for us. When I finished the call, I destroyed the new bright cellphone that I bought with my beautiful fake id.

“I just have to do make one last thing”

“What?” Yoongi asked.

“Call mom”

#min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #bts yoongi #bts min yoongi #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts jimin #bts

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etherealreveri · 5 years

Text

➶ Mrs. Kim ➶ Chapter Two

Characters: You/Miss Oh (Main), Junmyeon (Main), Naeun, Baekhyun and Jongin

Genre: Marriage/Romance/Fluff

Chapter One ⦁ Chapter Two ⦁ Chapter Three

“Let go, I can walk, you muttered as he looks back at you. You follow him out as you he directs you to a more private place. He suddenly stops and turns around causing you to bump into his chest, you take a deep breath and close your eyes before you look up at him. Those beautiful brown eyes that once shined so bright looked so tired, his faint smile at the moment looked so cold and he looked so void of expression. You couldn’t read him, he seems so different from back then.

“What do you want,” you managed to mutter out. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in four years. I heard you just went out of the country to-” you cut him off, “What does it matter to you?” you look up at him. “I thought it’d be nice to catch up after all of this time-”

“You should have thought about that four years ago when you abandoned me in another country and cut off contact with me for four years,” you yelled at him. “Do you know how I hurt I was to wake up in bed hoping to see you next to me and having to hear someone tell me that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore and that I was just some girl you wanted to toy with? Why would you want to catch up with someone who you wanted nothing to do with?”

“Listen, it wasn’t easy back then, I don’t know what-I…. This was the easiest way out at the time, look,” a tear slipped out and rolled down your face, he brought his hand up to wipe your tears but you brushed his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” you whispered. “I have to go, I hope to never run into you again,” you pulled away from him and ran off so you could no longer hear his voice. You wiped the tears away from your face and took a deep breath before you stepped into the hotel restaurant, you smiled and put on a brave face and went to the table where your parents were sitting at.

“Mom! Dad!” you hugged both of them and they noticed that your eyes were puffy. “Are you okay?” your mom asked. You nodded. “It's the jet lag, I also have allergies,” you lied. The waiter comes over to retrieve your order and you and your parents begin to catch up talking about the places you visited. You notice that your father keeps checking his watch every few minutes, you didn’t pay much attention to that and asked why your parents suddenly upgraded everything without letting you know anything. They both looked at each other and a familiar voice pops up behind you, chills run down your spine as you see Junmyeon’s face in your peripheral vision. Junmyeon pulls the seat next to you and advises the waiter that he will have his usual.

“Your usual?” you whispered confusingly to yourself.

“Yiseul, you remember Junmyeon right?” your mom smiles. “We-we, um, we want you to meet the new owner of the Grand Opera Hotel.” Your eyes burrow in confusion and you let out an uncomfortable laugh. “What?” you straighten up, “I’m being pranked right now right?” You turned around to see if there were any camera’s around. First its running into Junmyeon and now your parents are telling you that the hotel is under new ownership. Seeing as there were no cameras you turn back around, “What are you guys talking about? When did this happen? This has got to be some kind of joke.”

“Just last week, we handed over the rights to Junmyeon,” they both said. “Why didn’t you tell me?” your mother sighs and holds your father's hand, “We were, we were just waiting until you got back from vacation to let you know and Junmyeon tells us you two were great friends in college so we figured we could also just work towards a friendly relationship,” your dad interjects with a comment that makes your blood boil even more. Friends? Right, we were just friends. In all actuality, as much as your parents let you do what you wanted … a boyfriend was not in the books, the only thing you had known was education and the hotel and your parents wanted you to focus on your career; Junmyeon was your little secret.

“We can still run the hotel to earn money, we will just be operating under new management and there will be lots of new changes that need management control.” You sit back in disbelief, not sure of how to react to this situation, you sulk down into your seat and took a deep breath. Your home, the place where you essentially grew up, it was all going to change … you were supposed to continue to take care of this place your grandparents built up. You were supposed to be the ‘heir’ and take over the business. This place just held so many memories and you just couldn’t seem to be taking this in seriously.

The food slowly began to arrive one after the other, you were quiet, playing with the food on your plate. Joonmyeon glanced to the side and noticed how you haven’t eaten anything on your plate. “Are you not feeling well?” you look up and turn your head to the side, his face inches from yours, you immediately look away and see that everyone finished their meal and yours barely moved. “Its just the jetlag, and since everyone is done, I’ll excuse myself. Have a great night,” you cleared your throat and grabbed your jacket. Walking out of the back of the hotel you to catch some fresh air after the events of tonight.

“This must be a dream,” you sighed angrily. Angry, that was all you could feel, just anger … no tears whatsoever, just anger. How could your parents do this? For what reason did they sell the hotel? This was your childhood, your second home, you wanted to do nothing else but take over the family business, but what is this? Pausing in the middle of your walk, you look up to the sky. “This is a dream,” you assured yourself, “If this is a dream I probably won’t be able to feel anything if I pinch myself Yeah, I’m just in a very realistic dream right now and I am still in Phuket. I’ll wake up and this will all just be a nightmare.” You pulled up your sleeve up and was about to pinch your arm when a pair of arms hugs you from behind. “Don’t pinch yourself, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Ju-” before you were able to say anything he spoke up. “I missed you, I miss you so much,” he whispered.

As cliche as it sounded, you missed this too, there was not a day that went by that you didn’t miss his touch but he broke your heart and left you stranded like you were no one.

Your hands reached up and you placed them on top of his, you gripped his fingers and tried to pry them off but he wouldn’t move a muscle. He turned you around and embraced you in yet a tighter hug. You were angry, you were so angry at him and what he had put you through, but yet you couldn’t make yourself pull away from his embrace. You held so much anger and hatred towards him for the past four years but one simple touch melted your heart and your body just went limp.

You both stood there for what seemed like forever, you began to feel something drop on you … it started to rain. You pushed him away and brushed your hair back, “You should go home before you get sick from the rain.” You turned your back on him, took a deep breath and took a step forward when he grabbed your wrist.

“I still care about you-?” you cut him off, and looked over your shoulder, “Yeah? Well I don’t I stopped.”

“Well, I’ve never stopped thinking about you, you know how much you meant to me.” You let out a laugh. “It’s the 21st century, I don’t live in a rock Junmyeon, i’m not stupid. I’ve seen all those articles written about you and your monthly flings. I also remember you distinctly telling me you never loved me when we last met and cut off contact with me and also had your guards kick me out when I wanted to see you, everything that has happened because of you.”

“I didn’t have a choice, you were just a-”

“Just someone who you toyed with? Fun isn’t it? Playing with someone's heart like this, I cared about you Junmyeon. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you-I-I was willing to drop everything for you but you just pushed me away,” you cried out walking off as the rain fell harder. You could hear him calling out to you but you ignored him and got on the elevator before he could get to you, pulling out your phone you call Naeun.

“I think I still love him … what is wrong with me,” you held your chest and fell onto the floor. “Why is he doing this to me?”

----

Authors Note // Apologies for making the introduction so long and drawn out, things will soon begin picking up. Thank you for reading!

#exo scenarios #suho scenario #suho scenarios #junmyeon scenarios #joonmyeon scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #romanc #exo #suho #junmyeon #joonmyeon #exo k #mrs kim

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southeastasianists · 6 years

Link

Indonesian filmmaker Joko Anwar is making moves in a surging industry. He directed the first season of HBO Asia’s Jakarta-set supernatural series Halfworlds and some episodes of its new horror series Folklore. He joins other local auteurs enjoying both domestic and international acclaim for movies like last year’s Marlina the Murderer in Four Acts, directed by Mouly Surya. The so-called “satay Western” about a wronged woman out for revenge won raves at 2017’s Cannes Film Festival, and is the nation’s pick to compete for Best Foreign Language Film at next year’s Academy Awards.

Filmmaking in Indonesia dates back more than a century, and movies were first shown there in 1900. The current resurgence comes after last century’s bumpy journey for an art form that never totally took hold of audiences’ imagination.

“We hear about a once-rich Indonesian cinema culture, but it was an illusion,” Anwar told Southeast Asia Globe.

He’s referring to the sagas of Sundanese legends that were popular with Indonesian audiences in the 1920s, but were told from the point of view of the Dutch directors who made them on location in what was then the Dutch East Indies. In the early 1930s, elaborate romantic melodramas were all the rage, but they were created by Chinese entrepreneurs who were flush from the Shanghai movie boom and extending their market around the region. Heavily financed foreign productions discouraged local film production, which was scattershot and based mainly in Jakarta. The Great Depression and Dutch taxes made this dream all but impossible by the mid-1930s.

A handful of enterprising filmmakers dipped their toes in the water in the 1940s – just before film production was banned under the Japanese occupation. Government-approved political films saturated the post-Independence era until a string of indie domestic films enjoyed huge success in the 1980s. The 1988 political biopic Tjoet Nja’ Dhien was the first Indonesian film to be invited to Cannes. Soon after that victory, local filmmaking took a big hit when the government lifted a ban on the screening of foreign films. Indonesian moviemakers couldn’t compete with blockbusters from Hollywood and Hong Kong. During Southeast Asia’s economic crisis of 1997, Indonesia’s economy tanked, along with box office sales and investment in domestic film production. Just six movies were made in Indonesia in 1999.

The industry has been recovering since the mid-2000s, and in most Indonesian cities, air-conditioned multiplexes are seeing relatively healthy sales. John Riady, an Indonesian entrepreneur and editor at large of the Jakarta Globe, describes Indonesia as “the most invisible country in the world”, referring to the rarity of good English writing about the country and poor tourism marketing. It’s home to a quarter of a billion people, and its capital, Jakarta, is a gargantuan tech-obsessed metropolis that sends more tweets daily than any other city on the planet. Metrics like that are impressive, but local cinema isn’t quite keeping pace.

“Indonesians used to have a closer emotional relationship with movies and cinemas, mainly because there weren’t many alternatives to movie-watching at that time, and cinemas were not in high-end shopping malls,” explained Anwar. “Today, going to a cinema requires more effort since most of them are inside places which the average Indonesian person – someone who lives outside of Jakarta, for example, or the average Jakartan who doesn’t visit luxury malls – has no access to.”

Anwar, 42, is a solidly built man who dresses and talks with the confidence of someone who tours the international film-festival circuit and enjoys a lucrative career. He grew up in a poor part of Sumatra and spent much of his childhood watching horror and kung-fu movies. In 2003, he wrote Indonesia’s first gay-themed film, Arisan!, and went on to write and direct a slew of films throughout the 2000s. His 2007 film, Kala, was lauded at the New York Asian Film Festival. His 2009 thriller, Forbidden Door, was screened at film festivals all over the world, and the Hollywood Reporter compared it to the work of Alfred Hitchcock.

The biggest challenge faced by Indonesian cinema is getting audiences in seats, Anwar explained.

“There are too few cinemas, compared to the increasing interest in cinema-going. For the past three years, Indonesia has enjoyed a [rise in] ticket sales for locally produced films, and it seems like we are going to surpass that also this year. However, ticket prices have crept up to keep pace with demand, and this puts a visit to the cinema out of the reach of most Indonesians, who either don’t have or can’t justify spending that kind of money on a movie ticket. There’s also the fact that the older traditions of movie-going are gone, and so unless you’re an upwardly mobile Jakartan, cinema isn’t on your radar at all. You watch TV. You talk to your family.”

Anwar then produced something unexpected: the 2015 dystopian A Copy of My Mind, set in Jakarta during the tense 2014 presidential elections. The urban drama and love story about a low-rent salon worker and a guy who writes subtitles for pirated DVDs featured Jakarta as a character more than a setting.

“My vision of Jakarta in A Copy of My Mind was meant to be a love letter to the city I moved to 20 years ago,” said Anwar. “Back then, I was penniless but I fell in love with the city right away. It was a very diverse place and people were more tolerant. Preachers weren’t spreading hate in mosques. Nightlife was colourful. We even had a gay film festival – imagine that, in the world’s most Muslim-populated country!”

Unlike the Hong Kong of Wong Kar-wai or the Madrid of Almodóvar, Anwar’s Jakarta wasn’t venerated, there was no background razzle-dazzle. In A Copy of My Mind, Jakarta is a bleak and ominous place, akin to the Phnom Penh of the Cambodian filmmaker Rithy Panh.

“Now, it feels like I don’t know Jakarta anymore. I believe that the 2014 presidential campaign started a kind of hateful atmosphere in the city, and in the country,” he said. “There were so many black campaigns launched, and they seriously damaged our capability for logic and cultural expression. Now hate has been normalised: you hear it from religious preachers, on the street, even in schools by teachers. With A Copy of My Mind, I guess I wanted to make a time capsule of that one particular year so 20 years from now, when things get better or worse, we can watch that film and remember what happened, and reflect.”

There are no film schools in Indonesia, but it does have five filmmaking education programmes at universities and institutes. It has just over 1,000 cinema screens, compared to nearly 15,000 in the comparable economy of India, which has a robust national cinema culture. In the Philippines, the industry employs a quarter of a million people and 50 million Filipinos go to the movies every year.

So why does Indonesia lag behind?

“First of all, good and entertaining movies in Indonesia are so rare that momentum in viewership can’t be sustained,” said Anwar. “This makes it hard to argue for financing, it makes it hard to motivate people to join the industry or take up training, and human resources in Indonesian filmmaking are already so rare. This results in a lot of untrained people making well-intentioned but poor-quality films. But most films are likely to get a theatrical release to fill cinema schedules, thus glutting the market with low-grade product – and this turns audiences off even further.”

Anwar hopes the current successes signal a turning point. He spoke of the increase in new movie theatres and educational opportunities, including the workshops and training offered through the government’s Creative Economy Agency.

When Southeast Asia Globe caught up with him, Anwar was in post-production after a long shoot on location in Jakarta and West Java for his next film, Gundala, based on 1980s Indonesian superhero comic books. Promo shots and poster art for it are plastered on Indonesian Facebook pages and in that deluge of Jakartan tweets.

After his work with HBO Asia, it seemed possible that Anwar would follow the money and work internationally, but Gundala suggests the exact opposite.

“I believe what’s important is making films that you can inject your own personality into, your views of life,” he said. “I think I will be happy making movies anywhere, as long as I am doing movies which I care about, with stories that I believe in, and with interesting characters. It still has to be a personal experience for me. As long as I’m allowed to do that, making movies anywhere will still be bliss.”

#southeast asia #Indonesia #Joko Anwar #Film #Movies #Director #People #Cinema

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jewish-blackula · 6 years

Text

weird sanders’ sides headcannon

i really want to write this but i don’t feel like i can right now. maybe i will soon

Roman is in the military, he’s dreamed of being a knight his entire life and has been training his body since he was nine

His dad was in the air force and his grandfather was in the navy, the family tree has basically been dancing around the military and Roman just said ‘fuck it’ and went for it

He gets injured in battle pretty early on because he puts everyone else’s life before his

It’s his left leg

He keeps insisting it’s fine but

He gets honorably discharged soon after because he can’t even walk anymore

He gets home and for a while, lives in his own apartment in a smallish town in New York above his childhood best friend’s bakery where he works alongside him

(the baker, who is Patton lives next door with his husband, Logan)

Soon the environment gets too quiet for Roman and he needs something to do other than just baking, even though he loves his friends

He starts talking with Logan and he’s shown this platform called YouTube for the first time

Of course he’d heard of it before, he just didn’t really get around to checking it out, he got his first phone a year ago

And he’s shown short films and music videos and that is when Roman finds his new life passion

Acting

He starts listening to musicals, starting with Hamilton

The first time he listens to it, he’s a little uneasy because a lot of songs have excessively loud noises and even though his headphones are pretty low to begin with, it just worries him

But he does love the songs that aren’t super loud

His favorite is the Story of Tonight because of the brotherhood between the four of them and it reminds him of all of his favorite parts of his short-lived service

From there he is introduced to more and more musicals and soon he is just this huge musical theatre nerd and Patton is excited because

“He hasn’t smiled this much since before he was discharged, Logan!”

Roman spends another year in the bakery learning about the musical theatre scene and and YouTube and just listening to some many showtunes

And a lot of customers can hear him singing from the back and he becomes quite well known in the town for being the Singing Baker

Once word gets out that he’s also an army veteran and he’s under the age of 30, he gets multiple younger people asking him out, but he very politely turns them down for now, he’s just not really into the whole relationship scene right now

Sometimes Roman wishes that he could act on stage, but he doubts he can, he can barely walk and eventually he just gives up on it

However, he’s now almost always on YouTube when he isn’t working or exercising

(And occasionally while doing those things too, but Logan would discreetly murder him if he found out he wasn’t on task during work)

One day he’s complaining to Logan about his dilemma and Logan offhandedly says

“You’re watching YouTube so much, you could just do covers on the site.”

And thus starts Roman’s YouTube career

He gets a laptop from Patton for his birthday and Logan provides a suggestion for an editing platform and pays for it as well

Starts very small, a cover of Burn transposed into a lower key by Patton

(Who was apparently also an amazing musician alongside being the best baker Roman knows? How?)

Learning how to edit was the hardest part, but he looked it up on YouTube and slowly figured it out

He tries learning how to record just audio, but he decides to put that one on pause until he gets a proper mic and

He gets really excited to post and excited for people to see the video

But once it goes up

Nobody

Sees

Well, until he actually posted a small clip of it on his twitter instagram and tumblr

all of which he had built up a small following of loyal fans in the past few months so that if ever needed, he could get them to do his bidding

The video gets popular enough for his liking and he gets a few subscribers and makes another one

He starts to find a rhythm of operating with these things and can soon start integrating more and more things into his videos and starts to grow

He also starts making videos where he talks about the military and also

Roman screamed the first time another YouTuber reached out to him

(Patton thought something was actually wrong and nearly slapped him upside the head for scaring him so badly)

(once he realized what actually happened, he was also very excited)

Another small YouTuber, going by AnxiousAngelV (or just V) DMed him on Instagram asking about some of his work and which side of the country he was working from

Roman admittedly didn’t actually know who this guy was, but after watching a bunch of his guitar covers and art videos, he fell in love with his work, though, none of his videos or his pictures showed his whole face

((hell yes this is prinxiety, i am garbage for this ship))

They become mutuals and as their channels grow more and more, they do collaborations where V will play guitar on a song as accompaniment with Roman singing over it

They constantly argue which one they did is the best

V likes “Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner” cover they did, not only because he picked the song, but because it was the first one V sang with Roman

he falls asleep to it most nights

Roman’s favorite is “A Lovely Night,” V doesn’t play guitar in it, but Patton plays both ukulele and Logan did a some piano

(Roman keeps getting surprised by his friends’ musical abilities. They’re all so amazing)

The real reason it’s Roman’s favorite is because V sings Emma Stone’s part and his voice is

So pretty

he falls asleep to it every night without fail

V sometimes animates over covers Roman does specifically for that purpose, but not very often because his hand is already blistered from constant strumming without a pick

They have the same favorite for this one, which is also the most viewed video on V’s channel

“So This Is Love” from Cinderella

They end up building a ridiculous fandom empire and they may or may not each have their own secret fan account where they may or may not both be writing fanfiction about each other

It doesn’t take long before Roman wants to meet up

(well, he always wanted to meet up, he just didn’t want to push V into an uncomfortable position)

It takes half a year to convince V to meet in person because of “special accommodations” he has to take care of

They decide to do it at Playlist Live, which both of them were going to

And they hype it up for a while on social media and through text

When Roman flies down to Orlando, he texts V all the way there, especially during the parts where V gets on the second flight there and starts getting more anxious

The first day of Playlist rolls around and Roman sits at their designated spot outside the convention center for a while

It’s after five minutes of standing there that he realizes that he’s getting frantically texted by V

He’s having an anxiety attack

V tells him where his hotel room and building is and Roman

Runs

(he nearly broke his back, he can’t run as well as he used to)

He gets there and almost pounds on the door, but stops himself so he doesn’t scare V too bad

The door opens enough for Roman to swing it open and engulf V in his arms

They spend the next ten minutes calming down

In the next hour, Roman finds out that V is completely paralyzed from the waist down, that his name is not actually V, it’s Virgil, and that Virgil is single and very gay

Virgil doesn’t stop touching Roman (usually in small subtle ways) the entire time

Roman eventually stops trying to talk and they cuddle in the bed and Roman pulls him as close as humanly possible, to keep him safe, from what he doesn’t really know, but he protects him anyway

They’re planning a date by the end of the night

Since they both live in New York, they decided to wait until they get back, just because this was unfamiliar territory and Virgil didn’t need anything else in his life making him nervous

Patton and Logan basically adopt Virgil

Virgil moves into the apartment upstairs with Roman

Their wedding was in the bakery

#sanders #sander sides #sanders sides roman #sanders sides virgil #prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides fic #thomas sanders sides #thomas sanders

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nadeemahmedmumbai22-blog · 6 years

Text

Doomed in Dubai by Nadeem Ahmed

Me; a Model/Presenter/Fashion event director living in Accrington, Lancashire! Hardly the fashion capital of the world I know! Just a mere small village where news spreads like wild fire! It was a known fact that I was a successful model due to my face being splattered all over the place, even locally! I have always been and still am very committed and dedicated to my work.

Being a model was considered a very unconventional career for a northern lad but I knew from a very early age that I was going to break the mould and do something completely different! A very tough industry to break into but thankfully through a lot of challenges, rejections and hard work I found my path.

My story begins from December 2003. I had completed several modelling assignments up and down the country and was so ready for a break. It had been a successful year and now that Christmas was fast approaching, it was time to wind down, spend quality time with family and break all dietary rules!

Traditionally every year, my family would get together at ours for the festive season.

I lived with my grandparents from a very early age and considered them to be my parents. Our house was the central point for all the family and the thread that kept us all together.

I had a good relationship with most of my family members but there were a few rotten eggs which is normal I guess!

I hadn’t seen my cousins for such a long time because of work commitments and so was more than excited about our get together.

We would talk till early hours of the morning without a care in the world.

On some days we would go food shopping at the supermarket at 3am creating a harmless racket!

We got onto the subject of travelling and lucky for my cousin, she and her family had just returned from a place called ‘Dubai’. A place I had never heard of! In all fairness my geographical skills had never been strong. She spoke about it in a very enticing way. I was sold! I needed a break after working so consistently. It seemed the perfect getaway destination as halal food was accessible throughout with it being an Islamic country. I always ate halal food and the thought of going into a Mcdonalds where I could literally eat anything off the menu was so appealing. So sad but true! She also said that getting around was easy and most importantly it was always baking hot which to me was the biggest plus because I hate the cold!

Before long, I had decided that I would be going to Dubai for my holiday. The excitement was building up thick and fast.

I booked my flight which was going to take me to Dubai via Istanbul.

Once I had received all the confirmations, I broke the news to my family telling them that I would be going away for New Years. They were a bit shocked but at the same time so used to me going here there and everywhere! I felt I really owed this holiday to myself after working so incredibly hard! One of my friends recommended that I should check out a website called www.expatriates.com where people connected from all corners of the world sharing their experiences of travel and living abroad. I was always an organised person and so was on the case immediately. I registered myself on the site and left a message on the forum stating that I would be in Dubai and if anyone could make any recommendations?

I was pleasantly surprised to have received some messages from someone called Ethan who seemed most helpful. He was initially from Brazil but now working in Dubai in one of the opulent hotels. He was kind enough to suggest sorting out my accommodation for me to ensure I got a good deal. We exchanged several messages and it felt safe to say that he seemed a trustworthy guy.

It was decided that he would meet me at the airport in Dubai and escort me to my accommodation.

Finally having got to Dubai after almost missing my flight and paying for a Turkish visa that I didn’t need, I was feeling a bit nervous about meeting Ethan but managed to put the doubt to the back of my mind and just decided to roll with it. After all I was an adult that was capable of looking after myself! Besides, Dubai was one of the safest places in the world from what I had read!

As planned Ethan came to the airport, tallish, slim-built with sleeked back jet black hair. Not even an earthquake could move a single strand of hair on his head. He was very friendly and seemed as nice as his messages so I chilled out and began to feel comfortable in his company.

Not long into my stay, Ethan introduced me to one of his closest friends, ‘Luca Hadad’, a television personality from Lebanon who was working for a very well established company in Dubai.

Luca was quite tall, slender built, very fair skinned with green eyes. His hair was very dark in colour with very tight curls. He was dressed very professionally and oozing with confidence.

I seemed to have bonded very quickly with Dubai and I was sure getting the love back! This crazy love put a very random thought into my head.

The thought of leaving my life in the UK behind and trading it in for a more exotic lifestyle! It made sense, I was meeting the right people, I was so happy and at peace, I even had continual great weather which was a big thing for me! So, in true Nadeem style I literally ripped up my ticket! In those days we didn’t have the privilege of e-tickets.

I had decided Dubai was going to be my new home. I wasn’t going back to the UK!

Being totally spontaneous was nothing new to me. It was my comfort zone. I loved to live life on the edge!

Everything was falling into place so naturally that it felt so surreal.

I found a lovely studio flat in Deira. It was cosy and all mine! I was settling in so seamlessly. I felt so blessed that my family were so supportive of my crazy decision.

I felt I knew Ethan and Luca on a much better level now and we were all getting on so well. Luca even suggested that I would be a great asset working for his company presenting English lifestyle programmes. This brought music to my ears after all my money wouldn’t last forever and I needed to work!

Luca was in touch on a regular basis and he mentioned that he would have to leave his swanky flat in Sharjah because the landlord didn’t want tenants anymore. Me being me suggested that he should move into my place until he sorted himself out. I was just so grateful that Luca was pushing his seniors to have me working for them. It was the least I could do!

A meeting had been arranged at the office for me to sign all the paperwork and get all the formalities out of the way for my new job. I got there early and eager as usual. The paperwork was all in Arabic but Luca just asked me to sign on the dotted line and pay the equivalent of £500 cash for the visa. I thought this to be very odd but paid up and didn’t question it in the hope that I would officially have my visa sorted soon and a full time dream job. He was a friend so trust issues were not even on the agenda.

I had been most productive by contacting several model agencies. To my delight, all the hard work had paid off because the work was coming in!

Then one day Ethan decided that we should have a party at my house to celebrate the big move and friendship and so on. He would supply the alcohol and my job was to get some food. I made it clear to him that I didn’t drink but the curiosity had always lingered with me. I had never in my life tasted alcohol! Ethan bullied me into having my first drink, except my first drink was not a little shot but a whole pint of orange juice out done by Jack Daniels. Needless to say I was paralytic. All I could remember was smashing plates, one after the other which was so out of character for me! I also remember being slapped very hard by Ethan and being thrown into a cold shower with my clothes on! The hangover was the worst anyone could ever imagine. I vowed never to drink again!

Time was flying by and there was still no sign of my visa. Things started to go down in a very surreal way. I was told by Luca that Ethan would be moving into my flat because his contract was coming to an end and that he didn’t have anywhere else to stay. Luca who initially had promised to help me financially with rent and bills seemed to have swallowed his words as there was no sign of even a dhiram from him! My money was running out and I needed financial help. Instead, I was having to pay ridiculous amounts of money regularly for my visa that still had not been processed! Unfortunately I was not aware of the rules and regulations regarding visas in the UAE so I was at the mercy of Luca and his knowledge of these things!

My stress levels were shooting through the roof because now I was looking after two more people as well as myself. They were becoming very reliant on me for food, bills and everything basically. They were blatantly taking full advantage of my kind nature!

I was constantly reassured of empty promises that never saw the light of day! There seemed no end to my misery until Ethan announced that he was going back to Brazil then heading off to London to start a new life. It truly was amazing to hear such good news.

Still no visa however there seemed to be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel as Luca and one of his local friends came up with an idea for a lifestyle television show. I was to be fully involved in recruiting models and covering the fashion aspect for the show. The best part was that the local lady would be able to sort my visa out for me. This was such great news as the locals have a lot of power and can make anything happen at any time! Finally it was all pulling together.

Luca’s behaviour was getting incredibly weird. It’s like he was testing me to see how much I trusted him by doing vile things like putting faeces on my toothbrush and completely denying doing it as no one else had access to my flat apart from him so it had to be him, stealing my phone from right under my nose and making me believe that I had lost it even though I was 100% sure where I had left it before heading out for a casting. He had stooped to an even lower level by pimping me out to a wealthy local without my knowledge by referring to him as a ‘client’ that wanted to book me for a model shoot. When I met the client he had a totally different agenda and shouted at me when I refused to comply with his dirty intentions. He said that Luca had received an advance payment for my time with him and that Luca would not receive the rest of the remaining fees! This was all way too much for me to handle! I was losing my mind! I couldn’t believe I was being punished for being so trusting!

I tried to kick Luca out but I became a victim in my own home. I could not get rid of him no matter how hard I tried! I was trapped!

After shooting a fantastic pilot of the TV show in a wonderful studio in Ajman with all the amazing crew, I felt there was a bit of normality coming my way. No doubt it was going to be short-lived!

I was still without my work visa and realised that my tourist visa was about to expire! This was such a huge worry naturally. Again like a million times before, Luca convinced me that the local lady- Fatima his friend, would sort it out!

It so happened that Luca managed to speak with Fatima after the shoot. She said that we needed to meet up with her cousin as she was too busy and hand over my passport to him. He would then insure that it got to her.

We met her cousin who came to meet us in a very expensive luxury car. He insisted we get into the car. I then handed my passport over to him. He seemed quite genuine and concerned for me. However, that was the last time I saw my passport!

I was officially an illegal immigrant which meant I had a curfew as the police did random checks at night. If I got caught without any id then I would be put straight into jail, no questions asked! I don’t look conventionally British so how would I prove my identity without any official documents? I was a prisoner in a foreign country!

One random morning, Luca was up earlier than normal and all I could hear was the rustling of bags. He was all packed and ready to go back to Lebanon! It was a beautiful surprise to learn that I was finally getting rid of this dishonest, self-centred person who claimed to be my friend but just used me and rinsed me dry of my money!

Whilst leaving, he kept assuring me that Fatima would sort my visa and that I should stop worrying! He had instructed her to contact me as soon as it was done! I still had that glimmer of hope and with that bit of positive feeling I said good riddance to bad rubbish!

My home was once again my own. I was so elated! Words simply could not describe how I felt at that moment!

I went back to bed to sleep and got up feeling fresh and happy!

My peace was brutally interrupted with a heavy knock at the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone which was strange! So who was it? I went to open the door and to my extreme horror, I went flying back with a heavy punch from one of the guys that had come to my house. They were four heavy built guys on the hunt for Luca, who had swindled them out of thousands of pounds too as he had done to me. They knew he lived at my place and so came to get their money as they too were promised working visas but didn’t see anything for their money.

I tried to explain that I too was a victim of Luca’s trap but they wouldn’t have it! I was being severely battered by the ring leader who was amused at my reactions of when I was being hit!

They insisted that it was my responsibility to get all their money back and if I didn’t they would kill me and scrap away every bit of evidence of my existence. I was forced to write a document saying that I owed all of them money and that I would be paying the full amount back to them asap! They needed my fathers name, my UK address and my signature. According to them, this was a bound contract that I had to fulfil! I was told I was not going to get away! They had turned my flat upside down. It looked like a bomb site! They raided my wardrobes and took everything that seemed of value to them including my bag that housed my official documents including my university certificates, birth certificate, college certificates and cash money, not forgetting my mobile phone, my designer belts, clothing, camera and walkman! It didn’t seem like there were going anywhere! I was officially held hostage in my own flat!

I was given just a few hours to get thousands of pounds together. They hit me some more and left leaving my flat empty and lifeless with just a few things scattered around promising that they would be back the following day. On leaving I got my final punch for the day and they finally left several painful hours later!

Naturally I was not in a good way! The Stress and panic was overwhelming as I tried to figure out how I could possibly get such a substantial amount of money together in such a short space of time?

Time flew whilst I was lost in my thoughts on trying to make heads and tails of this surreal situation! It was too late! I got the dreaded knock on the door again. It was full blown aggressive and I felt that my life was about to be shortened! I was finished! They came busting in and continuing with the torture they had started the day before. I couldn’t get the money! It was impossible! I was being strangled and beaten. It was like I was having an out of body experience! It didn’t feel like it was really happening! The truth is that it was and I was living my worst nightmare. I was ‘Doomed In Dubai’!

Things were progressively getting worse and I was told by the ringleader that I would be taught a lesson that I would never forget! I was dragged onto the bed by my hair and held down by all four of them. I fought with my last bit of fight but failed miserably because I was totally outnumbered! Then the most horrific thing that could ever happen to anyone happened!!! The ring leader unbuttoned his trousers and thrust himself in me!! My body rose in the air like a dead corpse!

They eventually left swearing and spitting, leaving me for dead promising to be back! I was bleeding and crying for my mum uncontrollably. I was damaged far more than anyone could ever imagine!

Even though the situation was extreme and I was at my weakest, I needed to find a way out before they came back and finished me off for good! I had no money, no id or anything to my name for that matter. By the grace of God I found a phone card that had fallen on the floor beside my sideboard which miraculously had some credit on it. I rang one of Luca’s friends from the phone booth just outside my flat who I had met a while back because his number was an easy number to remember and for some very strange reason it was stuck in my head. It was a risk no doubt but I had nothing to loose.

I managed to speak to him and he advised me that I should go and stay with him which I did. He turned out to be an angel. He put me in contact with my family who then sent me some money over to get a new passport made from the embassy, a ticket to come back, a mobile phone and anything else that I needed.

Getting a new passport was by far a challenge and a half. I had to go to the police to get an official letter to say that my passport was missing which took weeks. I had to go everyday to the police station and tell my story to different officers. They obviously never exchanged notes! During this time I had become so frail! I was losing my hair, weight and not to forget my confidence which was nonexistent!

My family were in panic mode wondering whether I would ever return to the UK again? There was one particular time where I had lost the will and I remember vividly saying to my mother on the phone that I would never be coming back!

I feel blessed to have amazing friends as one of my friends from the UK found out that I was in trouble. She immediately contacted one of her friends who was visiting Dubai at the time, asking him to meet up with me and to accompany me to all the official offices to get my documents stamped and authenticated. He came to my rescue and was a huge tower of strength.

Eventually the day came when I finally said my goodbyes to Dubai. It didn’t feel real to me at all as I had lost all hope. I wasn’t myself anymore. I had lost everything!

I found it very difficult settling back into the UK. I wasn’t in a good place! I had to start my life from scratch which was no joke at the age of thirty! Every night I would have the same nightmare reoccurring which severely affected my sleep and my health!

Whilst in Dubai I didn’t have time to absorb all what had actually happened to me, I was just concerned about getting the hell out of there, but back in the UK it was starting to hit me more and affect me massively.

One day I took my mum and grand mother to a summer festival where my friend was performing. She had visited me in Dubai but I hadn’t mentioned anything to her about what was going on behind the scenes. We had a nice day and went back home at a reasonable time. Every day I was hating on myself more and more and on this particular day I was at my worse to the point where I ended up taking an overdose of paracetamols. I didn’t want to live anymore! I was found split seconds from death and saved. The ambulance had taken me to hospital and I had my stomach pumped. I stayed in hospital for a good few days and managed to arrange some counselling sessions with a psychiatrist. He encouraged me to get tested because I was sexually assaulted, which I did. I offloaded everything onto him which helped me hugely because it was building and bubbling up inside. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to my family about it!

Slowly slowly I was making progress. My confidence was coming back which was quite amazing. I decided to contact my model agencies to start working again. I loved my work and needed this to keep me sane!

I was truly blessed with another chance in life.

My test results came back negative and I started to enjoy life again.

After settling back and getting into routine I had a fantastic job offer of presenting a travel documentary in the UAE. I panicked but then decided that it would be good for me to go back and conquer my fears plus it was an opportunity of a lifetime to work with such bigwigs of the industry. I followed my heart and accepted the offer. I pulled through nicely after confiding in my colleague who supported me throughout!

I was always a traveller and felt that I needed a change. I was getting a lot of modelling work in London and so saw it as a sign to leave Lancashire and start afresh in London which is exactly what I did!

My life here has been fantastic and exhilarating. Naturally I still have some trust issues even today but not on the same level as before. I have surrounded myself with amazing positive people, my dear friends who have showed me how life should be lived. I am eternally grateful for their unconditional love and support!

It was important for me to write my book because it has helped me close this chapter of my life for good! Also I would not want anyone else to go through what I did, even if it is just that one person that learns from my experience. It’s a hugely educational rollercoaster read with a warning to others especially for people who have the travel bug and want to work and settle down abroad.

On the positive side of things, I am a much stronger person. I have learnt a very valuable lesson the hardest way possible. I have taken something so negative and turned it into something so positive! In my words- “What Breaks you, Makes you”!!!!

#nadeemahmed

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