#that fun time Bosco wanted to kill me
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Oh yeah. Fun times! I’ll paste the description here that I wrote on Facebook a few years after Martin died. Bosco was a workingline GSD from Czech/Slovak lines. Most people know that Bosco went after me with serious intent at the end of Martin's illness. Bosco didn't even hesitate. He had NEVER shown aggression towards me previously; he didn't even like the conflict of squaring off and playing tug with me. I will never forget the guttural growls, flat alien eyes, and booming bark in that tight bark and hold. I nearly peed myself in fear. The thing is, my experienced GSD friends weren't surprised that Bosco went after me. Everyone was like, "Yeah, he was just doing his job". [A friend asked me how I was still alive because Bosco was from hard, old lines with serious aggression. He was not a dog you fucked around with. Bosco loved Martin with such devotion that they will forever be relationship goals for many of my dog training friends.] I stood completely still, looked to the side, and kept my mouth shut. As soon as Martin stopped throwing up and had enough air, he gasped out [”Nein. Fuss.”] for Bosco to recall. Bosco instantly obeyed. Even lying prostrate on the ground and sick beyond belief, Martin was still the boss of Bosco. Without that kind of control, Bosco would have seriously injured me. How many owners really have that kind of control over their dog? I certainly don’t. Bosco sat there and intensely watched me while I helped Martin up off the floor. I knew that if Martin became incapacitated again then Bosco would immediately defend Martin from me.
Keep in mind - the more incapacitated the owner becomes, the more the dog’s aggression will exponentially increase. It was a terrifying experience but one that I understood given Bosco’s breeding. Workingline GSDs, particularly Czechline, are increasingly becoming popular as service dogs - they are beautiful (black sable, am I right?), biddable, and live to work. But you gamble the safety of a paramedic, an unsuspecting Samaritan, or even your mom when you assume that your workingline GSD is 100% unicorn. How do you really know until it's too late?
Looking for your opinion on raising a dobe as a PTSD service dog (trained to do things like deep pressure and body blocking/alerting to people behind me) because I'm looking into breeds. I've raised an Aussie Shepard and Border Collie before, as well as smaller dogs my whole life but you seem to really know what you're doing
I'll be honest- I think it is a bad idea. I do not recommend dobermans (or any guardian breed with limited exceptions) as service dogs for those with panic, anxiety, or stress-related disorders at all. For every one that you find will work well for such a job, you will find ten more that could not do it.
Please understand, the breed's temperament is designed to work against you here. These are dogs who are meant to guard their owners from assaults. If you are broadcasting down the leash that you are nervous about that guy who just came up behind you, even if he's minding his own business, what do you think you are telling your dog to do? What do you think will happen if you have a meltdown in public and Freak The Fuck Out and start seeing everyone as a potential threat? These are dogs intended to intercept threats before they reach their owners- so if an innocent person walking down the street towards you triggers you, that is now a threat in your dog's mind. This is a potentially very dangerous situation you've just put yourself, your dog, and other people in.
Can you find a dog to do it? Sure. That dog would be worth more than gold. We call this unicorn hunting in the service dog world. You are looking for a relatively uncommon dog to find, and if you have never done the service dog thing or the guardian breed thing before, you are going against pretty strong odds.
Whenever this sort of thing comes up, I always think of @millenniallust4death's post on one of her past blogs, about how her late husband's dog went for her in defense of her husband as he was ailing from cancer and she had moved towards him to help him. He was able to call the dog off, so she was unharmed, but still. This was a German Shepherd from lines intended for intense protection work. He saw his owner in distress and acted without thinking when someone- someone he knew and loved and trusted- made too swift of a movement towards his vulnerable owner.
I am not saying every doberman will do this. But I do think you would be playing with fire.
I had a doberman service dog. We actually just passed the anniversary of him winning an award from the national doberman club for his service work. We did a lot of work to try to prevent this from happening. He was neither the first service dog I trained nor was he the first guardian breed I trained. Prior to my current vet job, I was a dog trainer that specialized in aggression. I loved him very much and he was well suited to the work. But, also, there is a reason I deliberately did not get another doberman as a service dog when I needed to retire him due to his failing health.
#that fun time Bosco wanted to kill me#what if it had been my mom?#then I would have lost my husband and my mother in the same week#which would have sucked
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BACK TO THE FUTURE: the animated series
I was working at Disney France when John Hays contacted me, looking for an overseas supervisor for a Saturday Morning cartoon that he'd be directing for Colossal Pictures. I’d done such things before. What interested me about this particular gig was that John wanted the supervisor to firstly work as part of the pre-production team at Colossal. I absolutely loved that idea. So headed to San Francisco to work on the BACK TO THE FUTURE cartoon.
I’d been introduced to John by mutual pal Tony Stacchi while backpacking in the USA a few years earlier. When Colossal diversified from special effects & TV commercials into longer form animation, John remembered me. Thinking my experience in Saturday Morning animation would fit with this new project, that both he & Phil Robinson would direct..
The crew had not fully assembled when I arrived in San Francisco. In fact, it was so early in production that even the look of the show had not yet been locked down. Many freelance artists, including Steve Purcell & Dave Fiess, plus Colossal staffers had a crack at design proposals, and I had a go too.
Colossal had acquired a new building for long form production, but it was still being refit. So, a few of us worked in a cold drafty room at Colossal’s 3rd street building. As the crew expanded, we were housed in a cramped annex in their Custer Street sound stage. Until we finally moved into the facility on 15th street. (That building would eventually host the entire Colossal animation department).
When some designs of mine were selected for the main characters, the plan for me to supervise production in Taiwan was modified. Instead, I became one of two art director/character designers on the series. The mighty John Stevenson being the other.
There was such a back & forth between Colossal & Universal over the main characters (even the actors got involved) that it was hard to do anything truly unique (although I was happy with how Doc Brown turned out). But we definitely had fun on the secondary character designs.
Private Stevenson & Private Baker..
John & I both worked on designs for the first episode together, then took it in turns thereafter. I designed characters on even-numbered episodes, and John designed for odd-numbered episodes. We both sat side by side, cracking each other up with sillier & sillier designs. Joyfully competing as the series progressed. (In my opinion, John utterly killed it with his designs for his ROMAN episode..)
Directors John Hays & Phil Robinson really assembled a mighty crew for this series. Dave Gordon & Richard Moore did the BG styling, with Dave doing a lot of great VisDev too. Robin Steele, and future Pixar heavyweights Bud Luckey, & Joe Ranft did the storyboards. Two more future Pixar legends, Bob Pauley & Bill Cone, led much of the layout & location design. Future LucasFilm directors Bosco Ng, & Steward Lee were stalwarts of the art department. Colour styling was by future CNN design director Dewey Reid, and John Pomeroy animated the title sequence!
After years of living & working in countries where I struggled to learn the language, it was great to finally be in a city where I could actually socialise. I was very lucky to be working with utterly inspiring artists. We often worked late, as we were all excited to be working together.
The pre-pro team was enthusiastic and worked hard, with high hopes for the show. However, by this point in my career I had a pretty good idea of how the Saturday Morning sausage was made. Having worked in the bowels of the sausage factory myself for 10 years by that point. I was hopeful, but also knew that it was anybody’s guess if the show would get the same care at the other end..
A show about a kooky scientist, his young buddy and a time machine had the potential to be absolutely great. The best of Doctor Who and a (family friendly) Rick & Morty. But stories that went to a new time zone each week needed a lot of design. I kept hoping that the scripts would contain less characters & locations. So that we could really refine the model packets. But every script contained tons of NEW characters & locations. Plus new outfits/gear for the main characters too. SIGH..
We'd been promised the 'top floor' animators at Taiwan's Cuckoo's Nest studio, but "Uh oh.." early footage made it clear that we'd gotten the basement crew instead.. "DOH!" Back when I'd supervised outsourcing myself, I learned that if the good artists are already assigned to another project there wasn’t much you could do. So, despite an absolutely stellar design & storyboard team, and early optimism, the show itself came out merely 'OK'. It ran for two seasons on CBS.
It has been one of the counter intuitive aspects of my career that sometimes the fave projects are NOT the best projects.. Despite being merely a footnote in animation history, this was absolutely a linchpin project in my own career, and I have fond memories of it to this day. Many great opportunities that came later were thanks to this show. I met many wonderful artists, who became lifelong friends, who I still work with and/or socialise with, decades later. On this project, I fell in love with San Francisco. And, after living out of a backpack for years, made this kooky town my home. I’d later go on staff at Colossal Pictures, which became my favourite studio I ever worked at. Where I finally escaped from Saturday Morning cartoons, into TV commercials and other more challenging projects.
#cartoons#animation#drawing#character design#back to the future#colossal pictures#marty mcfly#doc brown#visdev#visual development
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Sam and Max The Devil's Playhouse Retrospective Finale: The City That Dares Not Sleep!: Into the Sunset (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)
Hello all you happy lagomorphs and welcome to the FINALE of my look at sam and max: the devil's playhouse and the telltale games as a whole. It's a bittersweet feeling: I"m happy to have finished this retrospective, have played these wonderful games and for all of you. This is one of the more popular series i've done and i'm proud of it. It allowed me to play three great games that while not my genre, were still a lot of fun and I will definetly revisit sometime and it was a fun experiment. It got me to review games for the first time, got me copies of all three games and got me the hall
Recently renovated!
But as i've said twice now and thought would cushion me from doing it again... i'll miss these guys. These games have a sense of humor that's parts brilliant, insane and just dark enough that really fits for me, and with no new sam and max media on the horizon this is the last we'll probably get. There is the high possibility skunkape could do a new game or there could be another vr game, but as of now the franchise has gone back to the sea, remaining dormant to rise triumphantly once again. There's other stuff to review, but it's unknown when we'll ever see these guys again. I would hope for a reprint of the comics or an actual release for the cartoon at some point, but i'm not holding my breath.
For now this is the end, the grand finale and it's perfect. Or as close as you could get: It's emotinally wrenching, hilarious, and engaging, a final sendoff to these games with a lot of major characters coming back to say goodbye. If the franchise had to stall for decades.. this was a good note to go out on. One last ride into the sunset on the wings of a giant monster with cockroach children, bizzare pregnancies, sailor moon refrences and shocking reveals galore! Let's get in the desoto one last time.. this is the City that Dares Not Sleep!
We open with the narrator who in classic fashion tells us one of these faces, displaying the whole cast and being in frame himself, will betray sam and max!
It's been one week since Max looked at sam, cocked his head to the side and became a giant cthulu monster. I do miss the direct followups from the earlier chapters, but the time jump feels necessary and adds to the sense of despair as Maxthulu has been terroizing the city for a week straight, with creepy flaming heads of max, psychic spores apparently, encouraging everyone to
And feeding off their dreams, and getting real pissed when Freddy Kruger keeps killing them. Stay on your street freddy!
Sam is working with an all star team. Mama Bosco and the Cops are there, though Carol has left to be with Buster Blaster, with Curt happy she's happy. Good on you man. Less good is that he keeps making puns about murdering max.. just HOW many you can get out of him and the sheer lack of empathy as ya know that's sam's husband make it one of the best gags in the game.
As for why they want to murder sam that's down to another guest: Agent Superball. Sorry ACTING PRESIDENT Agent Superball... could.. could he come here and be potus? Please? I'd even take max a this point. Max would say trans rights. He'd also give llamas the right to drive but he'd say trans rights. He dosen't want to.. but he's preparing the maimtrons, their's multiples now to nuke max which would take out manhattan and all in there but unlike max he's not throwing away lives for funsies. It's this or Maxtulu spreads and the whole world goes down.
Sam refuses to accept that and Luckily mama bosco has a plan: send Sam and a team of experts into Max's body to hopefully turn him back to as normal as the little psychopath gets. Thankfully she brought in two ringers. The first is a plesant suprise as DR NORRINGTON IS ALIVE! Yes he somehow survived the fall.. as did Paperwaite , who I spelled what wrong the last few episodes, but who cares about him DR NORRINGTON LIVES. They agree to go along.
Our second guest dosen't, but he is a welcome return. MR FEATHERLY. Yes he's helping out. Why a trained actor is needed we don't know but he was missed regardless and unlike the others I didn't expect him to be gone most of the game.
Everyone else turns sam down to join the team if for understandable resons: As President superball can't risk himself like this and unlike max won't go against protocol to do so time and time again, mama bosco needs to stay to be your woman in the chair and it goes against SAG regulation for mr featherly. The cops juts don't wanna. Thankfully an old friend arrives in the nick of time, someone with all the qulaifications and more:
YUP SYBIL HAS FINALLY RETURNED. And thankfully she's returned to doing tons of jobs and doing weird shit instead of griping with a horrible boyfriend she ends up marrying anyway. IN fact as you can see the marriage.. has gone well. Lincoln apparently shaped up as their now not only entirely loving but he stayed with her through all 15 semsters of her pregnancy. Which I know is a low bar but given how much I couldn't stand lincoln in season 2, is an improvment. He's leading the maimtrons and has won back my good will in being badass and also a supportive partner for a change.
So with that our team's assembled. Now we need to get inside max
Thankfully we have just the right Chekovs Gun: CORNDOGS! Max still loves them and his spores have taken all of new yorks to feed his endless hunger. Thankfuly we're able to swipe the last box from grandpa stinky's truck and thus need to get cookin without looking. We're going ot need the recipe though which he just gives us.. another fantastic gag. Wasn't that hard. This might be the funniest chapter of an already hilarious game.
We'll need cornmeal which is easy enough, as a truck's nearbye. For most of this batch we simply need to repeat these events, which gets a bit tedious as sam walks slow, but gets easier as you get more used to it: you wave a corndog, lure max's hand to wherever then stop waving it and he'll pick something you need up aka a truck full of cornmeal and the desoto.
With both plopped in the bowl, we now need veggie oil which luckily new york keeps in some of it's fine water towers for situations just like this. It's blocked by some more old friends; Satan and Jurgen! Both of whom i'm delighted to have back. Satan is doing damage control as he's being blamed for the whole affair instead of the elder gods and I can't blame him. Even the name devil's toybox is inaccurate.
Jurgen is having more issues with satan's premadoonna behavior. On the bright side he's looking sharp, having put his old clothes back on to save on the budget.
We need to end this local interview to get to that oil. Thankfully we got corndogs so you swap one with the mic, satan gets attacked and max drops the oil where we need it.
The last ingredient is one egg. Just a regular egg. Dosen't have to be sized up for the recipie. I found this hilarious. We have to get it out of mr featherly who can give us the goods....
We just gotta get everyone to turn around.. they won't.. except superball. He's a good guy. But we distract everyone else including geting the cops shut down by bringing up viruses. Not touching that one and moving on as we now have everything we need right in front of us. It's time to get inside of max!.... he.. he would've loved that.
We get a boss 70's adventure movie style intro for everyone. It's dope and feeds into the whole 70's vibe this game goes for in it's logo, bringing it all full circle.
So now we're inside max where his stomach is a shockingly orderly kitchen where we sadly can't cook without lookin but we do have all the lovely spices from that gag. I'm not suprised Max has tile grout in his stomach. I'm more suprised there isn't a tire iron.
The good news is Max digests slow the bad is that the tubes to the rest of his body aren't working. Luckily we have coffee beans in our inventory.. for some reason. A quick jolt and we can get up to the brain.
Sadly max has a bit of a problem: There's a tumor there's a tumor, there's a tumor there's a tumor oh oh there's a tumor. A massive one made out of stygian energy and poking it gets our heroes scattered throughout max's body.. though luckily where they need to go.
First is the legs. Their ran by treadmill but sybill won't do it so we need to find something to run them. Thankfully we get a direct line to MAX'S INVENTORY! Yes we finally get to see where max keeps everything... in a warehouse somewhere in his bowels
I assume sam also has one, might explain the gut... damn now I wish my gut was explained by a pocket dimension. At any rate we find some fun nods to media I haven't seen: a board game from their edgy offensive phase.. which is still going as of 2024 and a bucket of fish from hit the road. We also find the duo's roach farm and Sam witensses the miracle of birth! And thus Max Jr is born. One of only two roaches i'm not horrified by. Good boy.
To get him we have to touch some jumper cables, turn into a roomba and ram the shelf, scooping up our little buddy son buddy. He goes into our inventory and leaving turns us back to normal. With that Sybil is touched Sam is actually capable of being a parent and hits the treadmill and now we can walk around a bit.
The walking around a bit.. dosen't do much, but we go to boscotech for reasons that will be useful later. For now we need to stop skipping arm day so to the arms which are controlled by a game of TWISTER! Hit it AL!
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We get our commands from an arcade game.. just like my real life
Once I figure out what that means.
But since Max is somehow fucking with us, everything Sam says is the oppsite so to get the right commands we have to say the oppisite. It's.. a decent little puzzle and is quickly done, a vast improvment over Beyond Time and Space's over reliance on mini games Devil's Playhouse mocked last chapter.
Sadly while Sam can beat the system he can't beat a .. maimtron just kinda lodged in there releasing nuclear gas. The good news is norrington can still do it as he and his meat sack are immune to radiation. But Sam's going to need someone ELSE immune to work the controls and get things started.
Thankfully we just so happen to know a giant seemingly radiation proof cockroach and simply switching max's hunger from corndog to roach by putting the roach on his faviorite food deal, fixes it. The puzzzles here are less complex: still a dead end or two, but more streamlined. I don't feel it hurts the game as there's still enough for you to do and given how well built up this story has been, you really don't care. The puzzles don't drag, the solutions are simple and the the jokes are on point
So outside Sal is having second thoughts about stinky
But gets eaten as they break up while she ends up back with Skunkape and decides "Eh why not". So it's up to our friend whose more than happy to make amends for the whole attempted murder, working behind your back , evil scheme stuff. Also for making out with stinky in front of us... and... oh god i'm remembering it.
Larger point is he's wiling to help.. which leads to the second saddest moment in the trilogy, just inching out sam's quite "Max" last chapter.. and just behind this chapter's climax. Sal goes and saves the day... then comes back VERY sick. He got the controls working, but turns out in this universe of all things roaches being immune to radiation.. is a myth. Sal knew this.. but also knew if he didn't do it someone else would and also woudln't make it and desperate to do SOMETHING right for once... sacrificed himself. Sal dies tragically, collapsing quitely on the couch having helped save the world, all to help his friends.
And sam responds to this by.. cracknig a lot of jokes.
Stillt his means we can control sam. GIANT MONSTER SAM IS GO!
Being evil by moonlight Winning love by daylight Never running , he'll just bite! He's the one named Max!
Now we can control his body, we can give max a needed shock to the system, via battery park which in this universe has a giant battery as nature intended. Using this we give max a little shock treatment, get him jumpin like a real live wire and thus allowing us to open the door in his brain.
As Sam prepares the action pauses and the narrator asks us to guess one last time... who will betray sam and max.... only to get a guest. Sam opening the door behind him. Yup in a masterful twist I knew all along, but with a reveal I didn't and I needed a second to recover from laughing hard at, the Narrator wasn't just some abstract 4th wall guy but PART of max and behind the events of this season. Well some of them. The whole alternate timeline things more on sam. But he was at least the one keeping Sam away.
Turns out the narrator is Max's superego... and a sympathetic villian at that. I mean imagine if every action you wanted to do had to be screamed through a feral rabbit who just wanted to light the world on fire and eat junk instead of reading a book or petting a puppy once in a while. You too would snap and his plan is for Max to explode, having stalled Sam long enough to where it seemingly dosen't matter and the shock having been something he planned destroying Max's memory seemingly so the one toy that ISN'T under the superego's control, the astral projector, is functionally useless. He even admits that yeah this is horrible, will kill a bunc hof people.. but it's hard to truly hate him: he's part max. Of course his solution is a violence. It's also a bit of irony I didn't realize till now: that he tries to be better than the rest of him.. but his solution is as reckless, selfish and dangerous as anything max could cook up. It's something max would LOVE despite the horrifying death... and it's something the superego can't fathom.
Thankfully dr norrington as always has a plan: turns out there's one toy left max didn't eithe rreplciate in his mind palace, the cthonic destroyer. He fixed it but someone stole it... it must be that dastardly bastardly HARRY MOLEMAN!
Yeah Sam's just... bad at this. It's Skunkape and it's time for one final showdown with our arch enemy. We take control of the body back and remember the memories of a few places so we can fast travel, including Skunkape's ship which is strangely active again. And we can visit with an old power of ours, astral projection. For some horrifyign reason Superball thought an interment camp was a good idea and i'ts where most of the dogglegangers are, but we can hyjack the few left in nyc, psecifically three on the ship. What follows is a fun puzzle going back and forth through the cages to escape, simple, quick to do and didn't require much guide work.
We then go forth and encounter an old foe... Sammun Mak. Turns out Skunkape had use for his brain and presumibly picked it up off the floor of hte museum where our heroes left it.
He's kinda eh here, but I do love how we move things forward: Sam has to piss him off by bringing up th emole men beating the little snot, getting him to open the pod bay doors and revealing.. GRANDPA STINKY.. except.. it's not. It's an ape in his body. And at this point Sam may need to find anothe rline of work as it takes hilarously long for him to spot it. It's a great gag and I love how he figures it out... the ape apologizes. Grandpa Stinky would rather castrate everyone in the room with a rusty fork than apologize! Still a little light intimidation and we have Skunkape's location and a little smashy smashy as max and we're there: the final set piece of the game.
So Skunkape is having an all out climactic supervillian showdown with Flint Paper, whose punching apes as fast as Skunkape can clone them while Skunkape plans to.. er... conquer the world with the toy he dosen't remotely understand while Girl Stinky gets flint to kill grandpa stinky. I do love Skunkape's gradual breakdown over the seasons: he's a genuine clever threat in the first episode, still dangerous when he returns.... then gets degraded to flunky, beaten up, traumtized, kidnapped and now is just doing his patner's half baked scheme with no clear plan. The sheer amount of defeats have broken the poor sap and we're about to finish the job. I also love how PISSSSED he is to realize the doggleganger is sam. Sam is equally pissed and it's neat this fight got so personal that it went from a pretty impersonal world conquering to a blood fued I ddin't know sam and max were even capable of and ends fantastically: we use a projector to project the toybox, trick skunkape and trade the fake box. He's foiled and Stinky follows suit, as Sam.. just casually points out the gorilla is grandpa stinky and Flint lets him down.
We can worry about the horrific nightmare that is a mysthorpic man in the body of a gorilla later as now we have everything we need. We can save max, save the world again, and call it a ... day... why is it wet? Well that's because Sybil's water broke
She dosen't want to give birth inside of max whose rapidly collapsing his brain just minutes from exploding. A fair want but Sam can't think of anything else.. and it's what makes this chapter quitely heartbreaking. Sam's whole goal this time isn't saving the world.. he just wants his best friend, husband and reason for living back. He's not as broken as he was during his unfortuante noir breakdown, but that breakdown makes it very clear how much Sam NEEDS his little buddy. He'll, in his own words, destroy as many cities as he has to. This whole quest has been to save him, and depsite all he's done over these games: stopped a childhood star's revenge plot, saved a talk show audience from a hostage situation, defeated a pathetic man running a mafia out of a mafia free playland and casnio, saving the presdiency from a power mad tyrant to give it to another power mad tyrant, destroying the internet, saving the world from a sentient bacteria, saving christmas, saving easter island for all of a minute, defeating a eurotrash vampire, coming back from the dead in the process of the previous thing, piloting a marachi ufo time machine, saving hell , KILLING THE SODA POPPERS TO THE JOY OF ALL OF HUMANITY, thrwaring an alien invasion, traveling back in time via film reels, saving max' sbrain and then all of reality and finally helping beat a doll in a battle for the fate of all.... all of this.. all the adventures.. the jokes.. the sexual tension... all of it.. and he ultimately fails.
And he fails for not lack of trying. Evne if Sybil has to leave he refuses to... but the ultimate reason for the failure is tearjerkinga s it is deeplys weet... the creepy flame headed spore thigns return.. and the only thing they can say and think is.. SAVE SYBIL. Despite all we've done to her... Max will never abandon someone he considers friend, let alone with her child and implictly.. he won't abandon sam. in one truly sefless act he guides the party out, and the superego.. actually gets a happy ending. I mean he's about to die, but he's just so HAPPY that Max.. proved him wrong. That for one moment, Max proved himself selfless, that he did something noble and brave with nothing to gain from it but saving the people he cares about. That in his last act.. max was everything the Superego had gave up on and CAN be saved. Well.. metaphorically. Literally the superego stays behind and gestures them to a tear duct, which we escape with Max's poetry. There's a ton of great little albums he has including his weird flint paper fanfiction
So our heroes escape, Norrigton takes sybil to the hosptial.. and then.. it happens. one of the most painful moments i've ever witnessed in all of gaming. A sad, truly pogniant death, one of the best i've ever witnssed. As max prepares to go up... it's clear despite being a monster.. max is back in there... and he waves a simple goodbye to sam. And then vanishes. An explosion goes off in the sky.. and Max is dead. All sam can do is say a very quite max still in shock. It's such a fantastically animated, acted and heartfelt moment and it hits you harder because of how insane this franchise is. Even in what I thought would be a fairly morose chapter due to this ending... it's pretty wacky and buisness as usual. But the reason this hits so hard, even harder now I can actually see it and hnot hear about it is that tonal shift: that relization that max.. cannot be saved this time. That we still techincally won.. but you the player and sam the character did all they could.. .and max is still gone. The good news is he took stinky and skunkpae with him as a bomb got teleported to them, their gone, and the world is better.
IN a playable epilouge bit, Mama Bosco tries to clone the boy.. but his dna is too fucking weird. They try.. but max is gone. OUr little buddy.. is well and truly dead and we get another gutpunch as superball runs off crying.. .finally showing emotion and showing that while he considered max expendible earlier.. it clearly was NOT easy for him. It's the last we see of him.. and of everyone else as they all just solemly stare. Even Grandpa Stinky who hates everyone especailly max (and ESPECIALLY sam) can only look forlorn.
So gut punch #3 as we get a truly haunting credits scene of Sam walking, sad, depressed.. and devistated. He's lost everything, not even stopping some muggings or notcing anything. It's a shockingly accurate depection of grief for a game series whose grasp on reality is tenious at best. Just that numbness you feel, that pain, that blankness that takes time to fill if it ever does. It's a truly affecting ending and would be a hell of a way to end the games
Thankfully they don't. As much as this ending would've hit... what they went with.. fits the tone of the series more: optimstic, weird... and with the knoweldge that it's not an IF sam and max will be back.. but a when. For while the series did a pretty good job tying up all it's loose ends over this game, there was one they never adressed till now.. one they left in the barrel fo rthis exact moment.. Max comes back. Specifically his time doppleganger from the previous game. Last we saw them chronal copies of our heroes from situation: comedy took off with the time machine, with our heroes having to relive most of the game the slow way round.
And Max.. is back. And alone. Turns out that sam went thorugh a similar thing and Max had to blow him up real good. And our sam's reaction to seeing this max is just.. so damn beautfully: he hugs his little buddy, is elated and while it's not the exact copy... it's him. Max in all the eways that counts and vice versa. While Max does shrug off having to kill his sam.. given he came back here at all, he likely missed his and was willing to share and is tellingly put off when he realizes the other him is gone.. and just HOW depressed sam seems. Yet... they have each other. THeir not the exact versions.. btu their still each other's best friends. No matter what happened with each other's counterparts... they still have each other. And so our story ends not in tragedy but, at least with the ending I went with, our heroes literallyw alking off into the sunset, talking about all the crime they'll stop Max knows about somehow. It's the perfect ending to sam and max and to this trilogy: our heroes move on with .. our heroes, and head off ot do more shnanigans. The story may be over.. but sam an dmax's story goes on
Thanks for reading... it's been my utmost pleasure.. and to all you talented folks at telltale, skunkape and to steven purcell himself.. thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you all for reading
#sam and max#sam and max the devil's playhouse#the devil's playhouse#sam#max#the narrator#mama bosco#doctor norrington#yog soggoth#sybil pandemik#abe lincoln#grandpa stinky#girl stinky#general skunkape
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WIP wThursday
“It’s been like 87 years, but I have once again written something. Here’s a snippet of a dayasco fic that’s been in my brainpan. And it’s also my first time writing s15 blorbo irene dubois, so that’s been a barrel of fun.
They could hear a faint hum from across the room, muffled by the various plushies and messy array of covers. Bosco landed face first onto their bed and lazily reached for the iPhone she was bullied into getting. “What is it?” She asked, the informality in her voice not deterring whoever was on the other end.
“That’s no way to speak to me, young Boscington.” The other voice teased. “Maybe I should have eaten you in the womb.”
“Nice to hear from you too, Irene.” Bosco sighed into the phone and set it down, quickly putting their sister on speaker phone. “What’s up?”
“I just want to know how the new apartment’s coming along. How are the roommates? Rent situation alright? Do you wanna kill your landlord yet?” “I haven’t had to wring any necks yet, but overall it’s good. Landlord was good about the cats. Rent’s tolerable and roommates are great. We’re like the dream team. Willow’s sometimes up at god knows when eating shredded cheese out of the fridge, but who doesn’t do that now and again?” Bosco froze for a second, remembering what happened earlier in the day. Was this too big of a problem for Irene to know? She couldn’t think about it too much because one of her cats kept circling her ankles. “Anyway, Tito says hi.” She stated as she pulled the light grey cat up to the phone so it purred into the speaker.
“Hi Tito” Irene chuckled as her orange one flopped further up her chest. “Tofu also sends his regards.”
“Give that fat cat some treats for me.”
“I will if he doesn’t stop digging into my boobs.” Irene suddenly winced, but wasn’t bothered to remove Tofu from his comfy position.
Bosco playfully rolled her eyes, “Must be nice to have boobs.”
“If the HRT is doing its job, you’ll complain about the cats clawing into you and how much your back hurts soon enough. Don’t worry... Anyway back to your roommates -”
“Remember when I said everything was great?” Bosco asked, lowering their voice in case anyone was eavesdropping. Especially if Daya was nearby. “Daya’s been a bit... weird?”
“How so?”
“Well, today when I got home, I said I was gonna go take a shower. It’s a hot day. No one turned on the AC, badabing badaboom. Without missing a beat, Daya pipes up and asks if she can join me.”
“I see...”
“And it’s not the first time that happened either! I don’t get it. She has her own bathroom. So why does she want to join me in the shower? I get she sweats a lot Willow and I already have to share one so --””
Irene dramatically sighed, setting the phone down for a quick second before picking it back up. “It sounds to me like she’s trying to flirt with you, sis.”
“She what?”
#wip wednesday (on a thursday)#wip wednesday#dayasco#or at least implied dayasco#i'm writing this out of order.
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my thoughts while rewatching all of Helluva Boss in honor of the S2 trailer PT 5 (getting this one out last minute let's goooo)
WESTERN ENERGY - i remember this one :/ - i hate andrealphus oh my god - dude the tone of this is so off - how is bro staying on this horse he's like levitating - blitzo's little laugh omg pop off brandon rogers - reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally can't say that word anymore - i hate this goat's voice - oh it's vivienne - this song is so bad kill me now - no cause i actually hate the pacing of this episode - oooo classism, how fun - bro why did the dude call moxxie "queer boy" im sobbing - this dialogue kill me now - i don't even have words i hate this - i feel like this scene is only here bc A) they wanted ed bosco to sound sexy B) they're not allowed to show what happens during the full moon - hate this sequence - hate it - am i the only one who thought andrealphus talking to his sister the way he does it... kinda weird? like it gives me such a weird vibe - "you're so lucky you're attractive" WHAT THE FUCK - your sister is not your "fiery vixen" stfu elsa - okay but bryce pinkham is popping off again he makes this episode worth watching - dude this episode is so heavily censored what's happening - EW THE FIGHT SEQUENCE MAKES ME WANNA KMS OMG - i hate the music change - idk why watching moxxie fight is so visually satisfying though - "hey let's play a game! how many times can we make the same sex joke over and over again in one episode?" -vivienne, probably - how does such a bad episode have such a good ending. like genuinely i'm so mad about this because the whole "stolas got hurt?" thing and the hospital scene at the end is so PERFECT and if the episode were just written better, it would've been amazing
UNHAPPY CAMPERS - i kinda like the opening sequence ngl - perfectionist moxxie, we stan - okay but like... why did they choose to be siblings - this is.... so cringe - dude the double standard is CRAAAZY - i hate this number so much kill me now - like we wanted millie to get a solo but.... not this. god, not this - HELP WHY IS THE "moxxie sobbing uncontrollably" SUBTITLE SO FUNNY TO ME - i'm so lost - "child screams in futility" - this is a cool fight sequence though - tf is this song - HELP THE CAPTIONS - "like it's so graphic" "there goes the tube top" "exhibitionism activated" I'M SOBBING - stop being mean to moxxie where did the truth seekers character development go OOPS - love the opening music - guys alex brightman is at it again - imagine betting flustered by your own dirty comment OZZIE - DICKS IN THE VAN - queives >>> - i love this episode, like i'm not gonna have a lot of commentary because i just wanna watch it - were those condoms that just flew out of his pants? - "birdy babe" i love him omg - OWL IN A CAGE INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - wow ngl kinda ballsy to play a video sent by fizz in front of stolas, ozzie - wow these two are both like... idiots - they both have like... the worst kept secrets in hell - help i love the dialogue in this episode so much - wow blitzo would EAT at pool - i remember everyone theorizing for YEARS about the fire and when this episode came out we weren't even surprised because we got it right so we were all like.... "yeah" - "fizz fighty sounds" - real ones remember "i'm getting paid to write this" - YALL READY FOR ONE OF THE BEST SONGS IN THE SERIES - yeah i said it, look at this is one of the best - it's up there with owl in a cage and you will be okay - why is it always "wyd" and never "THE SECRET TO BITCOIN COMPUTERS AND MICROCHIPS-" - crimson's confused face during the italian bit is so funny - ALESSIO DOES A MOM HAND AT CRIM - stiker going slowly insane is so cool to watch omg - stan asexual king striker - "get fucked little one" are we talkin to the lawyer dude or fizz... - i love that episode so much MAMMON'S MUSICAL MID SEASON WHATEVER THE FUCK - YALL I AM SO TIRED - so exhausted - fuck you mammon - written by vivienne medrano - i have no thoughts i just love this episode - like the pacing is SO GOOD - i need a therapist fizzy ngl - "if you wanna fuck em' you can!" and then IMMEDIATELY says "fizzy for the kids" i'm sobbing - "royal big man" BLITZO I LOVE YOU - HOUSE OF ASMODEUS INSTRUMENTAL SPOTTED - okay but ozzie's "undercover" outfit.... doesnt eat - OKAY MAMMON HAS SOME AMAZING SOUND EFFECTS WHY COULDN'T WE DO THAT FOR ALASTOR IN HAZBIN - i love this dialogue so much - i hated juggling iz cool when i first heard it but it grew on me - it's catchy - ill be honest i don't really get the clown contest thing - cue the cutest sequence in any helluva episode ever - i can't put into words how much i love the asl scene - sir your ass is out - klown bitch also grew on me after a while - BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY I DON'T GET THE CLOWN COMPETITION??? LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY, RIGHT? RIGHT? WHY IS IT JUST A CONCERT - literally zoned out through the entirety of crooked - like it's okay but they deserved a WAAAAAAY better number - THIS SONG SLAPS THOUGH - TWO MINUTES NOTICE HAS MY HEART - literally zoned out for all of this i should sleep omg - blitzo is out here asking the important questions
I'M FINALLY DONE
happy full moon ya'll <3
#helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#helluva boss western energy#helluva boss oops#helluva boss unhappy campers#helluva boss mammon
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Aight since you sent me some of the questions I'm sending you some!
1 and/or 2, 7, 10 and/or 11, 14, and 15
Feel free to pick and choose which ones you wanna answer if you don't wanna answer all of them ^^
What is/was your favorite subject in school and why?
I really lo ed math !! it was nice qhen i understoos the moethod and reasoning, because then i can just sit and do tbe same rhing over and over again. Oh, doing percentages? ik how to calculate that and why it is that way. Stats? oh yeah theres diff things for specifci reasons and you figure it out tjis way. FUXKING ALGEBRA AUAHGHGG. THERES THINGS YOU FILL IN ITA THE SAME FORMULA EACH TIME JUST SOUBLE CHECK AND YOURE GOOD <33
What's a subject you feel knowledgeable about (including fandom stuff!)? What're your favorite things/facts in that subject?
I feel pretty knowlegable about abuse and childcare/certain child psuch things! not very much, but ig uts the thing i could ramble the most abt aside from lego monkie kid and a few toehr fandoms i cant quiiiiteee rembemebr. My fzv fun fact is that threats of physical abuse can and mostly do have the same mental effects as if the person had followed through (ie/ getting told by your dad that hes gonna hit you, after enough time/consistently enough, you will react as though he had hit you all those times)
Do you have any projects going on right now? What's it about? What's your favorite thing about it?
I dont have any projects going on right now, but i just finished one so ill tell you about that !! This is my dnd character, Bramble Elodia! She was created by a man named Foth Eir Oak Elodia. He has a dream of creating a city full of just robots and mschinery and living artifical people, such as bramble who is based off of porcelain bjd's!! :3 my fav tbing abt her is her cute, friendly nature despite her tall (she is 7'2) stature and sense of looming. I also ADORE her camera apeture eye, she has a camera in her head. Funf act abt her !! she has water based mechanisms inside her, like little mills and such, so she always sounds like flowing water :}
What are some (movies/shows/books/video games/songs/other media) you'd recommend and why?
Movies - Tangled !! Its fun and lighthearted with some pretty epic emotional beats. very relateable.
Mirror Mirror (2012) !! IT IS A SUPER FUN SPIN ON SNOW WHITES STORY. REALLY GOOD EMOTIONAL BEATS. PHENOMENAL COSTUMING AND AET DESIGN. VERY FUN AND HAS ASILLY ANTICS AND THE MAIN CHARACTER (SNOW WHITE) GETS REVENGE IN A SUPER COOL WAY AND ITA NOTBPRESENTED AS WRONG THAT SHE WANTED REVENGE. GOOD COLOUR SYMBOLISM. SUPER FUN MAGIC SYSTEM. ITS GOOD ITS REALLY GOOD JUST TRUST ME PLEASE WATCH IT
Shows - LEGO MONKIE KID !! INSANE ATORYLINE, HAS FUN GOOFY GUYS, REALLY GOOD FEELINGS. VERYBFUN AND SUCH A COOL ART STYLE !!
Books - Percy Jackson. Need i say more?
Video Games - Deep Rock Galactic !! Go into the mines and kill aome bugs! Good customisation, none of the classes are useless, good for accesibility settings. Has subtitles. Rock and Stone !! Cute robots too (bosco and molly and bet-c and dottie etc) Good and fun lore. Angry Man Is Funny (mission cobtrol). If you get it i can play with you !! :D
Songs - Two of Many by The Happy Fits! very cute song <33. Cotards Solution by Will Wood and the Tapeworms! SO COOL !
Other Media - Satorun Devouring His Son by Goya! its a good painting.
What hobbies do you have? What's your favorite part? Your least favorite part?
I mostly do digital art, i write too, and kandi art as well! For digital art, my fav is definitely the colours and special effects i can do. I have the whole rainbow whene i need it, i can easily change and wdit the pallette, its so fun and good. Least favourite is comijg up with what to draw akdbfjbgf
For writing, id say my favourite part is using nice words and portraying things drawings cant express (at my skill level i mean) and how you can change the readers feelings with just a few simple word choices- its nice to cut through to your reader like that. Feels like im making a connection. Least favourite part is keeping the words in my head and the words in my word doc the same or similar. Im bad at keeping the words in my brain when i think up cool things to say, so i tend to get the vauge thoguht down but not what i wsnted
For kandi art, i LOVE how pretty it is! giving it away as gifts is fun too. The beads slot together so well, creating paths for the string js fun and so satisfying. Least favourite is when i ACCIDENTALLY DROP THE STRING AND THREE HOURS IF WORK GOES DOWN THE DRAIN T-T. its a little finnecky sometimes too, and i got big clumsy sausage fingers jsjfjgjf
Silliest thing you've ever done?
okag okay. no judging ne over this even though i was like 14 and passed the age i should have done stuff lsike. uh. thatm this. i suppose.
So. Im 14. im about to make a hot chocolate. the water has boiled.
I decide i want filtered water instead. I decide, in a moment if beautiful clarity, that the shirt ive been wearing for like three weeks straight without breaks (deppression) would make a good filter.
I put my shirt over the mug. i am standing on my tippy toes to reach the counter. there is cat hair on my shirt and it is deeply stained. I have not yet realised that my shirt will then be wet with BOILING HOT WATER ON MY STOMACH. nobody is home. i am safe in the ignorance and ignorance of all rules and laws.
The mug is halfway full.
I need to take a break from being on my tippy toes. i stand down on flat feet.
the mug tips.
i now have boiling water all over my stomach.
my wet and warm shirt is now on my now burnt stomach.
i go upstairs and douse myself with coldish water in the shower.
sopping wet and in pain. i cry
i do not come clean about this for a whole year and a half. i say i just spilled it on my stomach normally.
end scene
What was your dream job(s) as a kid? Why did you wanna do it? Is it still your dream job?
My first two dream jobs were fahsionista/fashipn designer and an author! I wanted to be a fahsion designer cause i lovelove clothes and being able to express myself really well. As for author? I just like dwriting, and telling kinda fucked up stories (at my age and reading and writing elvel i mean). Mostly wrote about lesbians. Didnt know what a lesbian was.
Id always loved story telling, i just thoguth and still think its really cool. When i was about 4, i think dad said, i would tell HIM bedtime stories ibstead of him telling me any. This more than once lead to me telling stories such as the one where a big monster went to this town and atr my entire family (i went into as much grotesque detail as my brain could muster) and sawed off peoples limbs to use as utensils like chopsticks and then ate those too and bit off peoples heads to trhow them at my other family members. the big momster had fun doing this. much fun. then at the edn i reveleaed that the monster was ME the wjole time and yeah dad said it was scary for me to do stuff like that.
Also do you KNOW how concerned my teacher was when 4th grade me wrote a story about two girls locked in this guys basment in tiny little capsules and they had to escape with the other girls that qere there? and how they had to kill the giy that trapped them ans the emotional aftermath of taking a human life, but knowing it was them or you and they saved all these women too? so concerned. dad said i wrote like if stephen king loved pink glitter and fairies that ate people. and was also 9 years old.
sorry these werent answered in roder i jsut copy apsted all of the questions so i wouldnt forgor skfbgngjgj
#if yku want a breif and or in depth plotline synopsis thing for the movies i can do that for you btw amie#im. uh. not very proud of that burning myself story#injury mention#tacos askbox#amie !! 💜💜💜💜💜
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Unamused
Random pranks over the years leading up to today. In no particular order or length.
To say that Kerri was enthused when she came home to her dorm room plastered with post-its would have been a major lie. Her bed had been neatly framed in blue and pink scraps of paper, bedframe and all. Nothing in the room had been spared from the paper terror, not even her favourite knick knacks had gone unscathed by. The paper painted the walls a multitude of colours in the shape of blocky flowers.
Not even her roommate's side had been spared from the paper menace, hinting at them not being the culprit. Nothing in the methodology hinted at who did this. That however, didn't stop Kerri from choosing violence as she snapped a couple pictures and sending them to Deja.
KERRI: Maybe don't tell anyone what you're doing
DEJA: Come on, Korn promised not to tell!
KERRI: She did me a great service
KERRI: Just come over and there won't be any consequences
DEJA: I'll be there in ten
KERRI: You better, or I'm letting Korn clean everything up
DEJA: She's innocent
KERRI: An accomplice must pay for their crimes
-----
"Tell me why you did it."
"Remind me of what I did, Willow."
"The lucky charms, Daya!"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You ate all the charms and left the cereal in the box with a picture of you eating them at the bottom."
"Oh yeah, I did that."
"Why would you do that? I'm pretty sure all that sugar would kill you."
"I was feeling on edge that day."
"Next time, don't try to overdose on my breakfast."
----
"Jasmine, could you come here for a second?" Bosco sat at the kitchen island, motioning for Jasmine to take a seat across from them. Two glasses of water stood tall on the island.
Intrigued, Jasmine comes over and sits down. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"
"My friend Ted showed me this magic trick today, and I thought I'd show you."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Okay, I can do that." Jasmine agreed easily. Bosco held back her smirk as she placed the two glasses on Jasmine's hands, taking careful notice of balancing them so that they wouldn't fall. And then she left Jasmine where she sat.
"Put both your hands on the table, backside facing up." Bosco demonstrated as they explained how the magic trick worked. "Now, I place these two glasses on your hands. Don't move until I say so."
"Bosco, hey Bosco where are you going?"
"I forgot to tell you that Ted is my horse back home." Bosco was at the door, ready to run when Jasmine had grasped what had truly happened.
----
"Bosco, how the hell am I going to move without spilling anything?" Jasmine's voice raised in pitch as she looked at Bosco in disbelief at having been duped once again. The door clicked open, Bosco a free woman not responsible for cleaning up the inevitable mess. At least it was just water.
Going to McDonald's had been a mistake. Or rather, it had led to a series of mistakes. Maddy could quite easily list the number of mistakes that had led them to this moment.
Mistake #1: Agreeing to go out with just Alyssa and Jorgeous.
The three of them barely knew eachother, only really speaking in passing. Jorgeous more than anyone was a mystery, she didn't even attend the college everyone in their friend group did. She just tagged along, looking for a good time. Alyssa could be fun when she didn't try to ruin people's food with her menial pranks. Maddy, ever the fool, fell for it hook, line and sinker when the Puerto Rican had invited her to hang out. Pretense being that she'd love getting to know her better.
Mistake #2: Ordering a large drink.
In hindsight, ordering a large coke hadn't been the smartest of ideas. Before even getting halfway through, nature was knocking on her door, which lead to her third mistake of the evening.
Mistake #3: Leaving her drink unattended.
Excusing herself from the table, her drink just sat there on the table all alone and lonely. Unviolated and virginal, begging to be ravaged. Really, what was Maddy thinking, leaving such a golden opportunity at the hands of two seasoned pranksters? And not expecting something to happen? Really, the fool was on her for thinking such a thing.
Mistake #4: Grinning and bearing it when she discovered what the two had done.
Returning to her seat, Maddy took one big sip of her drink. She wasn't surprised to find it had gotten a twist of tangy, sweet tomato ketchup, and judging by the taste, the two pranksters hadn't been shy in how much they had added. It tasted awful, but looking at their expectant gazes, she couldn't let them win. So Maddy finished her meal, had a lovely chat with her sort of friends, and went on with her day. But man, finishing that cocktail had been awful. Regret sure was a funny thing.
#comfy feelings only#everyone is kinda messy#deja skye#kerri colby#willow pill#daya betty#bosco#jasmine kennedie#maddy morphosis#jorgeous#alyssa hunter#drag race#rpdr 14#prank wars au
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could you do 20 and 39 with jasco plzzz <3
20. “If you die, I’m gonna kill you.”
39. “you are a terrible influence.”
Jasmine danced in the street in circles, her skirt twirling with her while she laughed, tha stars twinkling above her and in Bosco’s eyes while she watched Jasmine have the time of her life with nothing but a bottle of tequila from the corner store. She danced with a lightness that Bosco had yet to see from her, the weight of her past always yanking her down and not allowing her to stand tall and beautiful like she did around Bosco. Watching her, Bosco felt an unfamiliar pull to plant herself in one place as long as she got to explore the long stretches of road that were Jasmine’s mile long legs and the vastness of her crystal blue eyes that resembled the lakes Bosco used to sit and admire as a child. She always thought that kind of life wasn’t her, but she felt as though with Jasmine it could be. She wanted to watch Jasmine continue to blossom, dance like that in their living room. Their living room. In a place that they shared. She imagined a roomy apartment with plants and Jasmine’s cat, Bosco’s leather jacket on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, her bike parked outside, early mornings dancing by the window as the sun rose and late nights falling into bed in a fit of giggles.
“Bosco! Come dance with me,” she called from across the street, looking like something out of Bosco’s dreams underneath the streetlight, “come dance! It’s fun!”
Bosco left her bike by the side of the road and ran to Jasmine, laughing as she tumbled into Jasmine’s arms, both of them landing in the middle of the street.
“If we die, I’m gonna kill you,” Bosco said, leaning down and capturing Jasmine’s lips in a kiss.
“It’s fun, it’s a rush,” Jasmine giggled against Bosco’s lips.
“Mmhm since when are you, Miss stability, an adrenaline junkie?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes lightheartedly and pulled Bosco down by the collar of her jacket and kissed her. “It’s the tequila.”
Bosco hummed, lost in the taste of Jasmine’s vanilla cupcake chapstick. “You are a horrible influence.”
“Mmhm, the worst,” Jasmine agreed with a tipsy giggle.
Bosco opened her mouth to speak, but as she did, the headlights of a car shone in the distance, growing closer.
Jasmine screamed, and grabbed onto Bosco, rolling them to the side in a fit of laughter once they were safe and the car sped past them.
“Come with me,” Bosco panted, out of breath, “let’s move somewhere. Somewhere else. We’ll get an apartment and you can finish school there and I’ll get a job to support you and-“
“What?” Jasmine looked at her like she was insane. “But you- and I- what? Bosco, that’s crazy.”
Bosco reached up and tucked a stray curl behind Jasmine’s ear. “I’m crazy about you.”
Tears shone in Jasmine’s eyes as she shook her head. “I can’t do that to you. You can keep coming to visit me, I’ll be here. I promise. The road is your life, baby. It’s who you are.”
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are there any headcanons (any au) that you’ve always wanted to share but haven’t had the chance yet?
Ok here's one I've been thinking about for socialite au:
Jasmine's been to Bosco's apartment only once. In that time, she took one look around, and was like...wait so what do you do here? All the way up these stairs? With this small bed on this metal frame? Where do you put your clothes? If you cook something, where do you put it? Why does the wall have tape all over it? Why is everything a little yellow? And what's that weird stain on the carpet...oh my god don't tell me you killed someone??? Babe did you kill someone???
Like she's beyond confused about how this apartment even works and just so uncomfortable with the reality of Bosco's life. But she's also saddened that Bosco, who's just kind and smart and fun and just a wonderful person to Jasmine, has to live like this. It's kind of a shock for her and starts her re-evaluation of her own actions and snobbiness
#also that time they go there is after a date because Bosco wants to grab something before going to Jasmine's#and Jasmine's insatiable just so touchy after the date and is like perfect we'll go back to your place#and we'll 👀#and she's expecting it to be quaint and cute like how new york apartments are on tv#but when she walks in#practically glued to bosco#only removing her lips from their neck a moment to take in her surroundings#she's fully taken out of the mood and is like um actually no i can wait#i think we'd break that bed but like...in an unsexy way#even though bosco's kind of mocking her and is like ok so not the bed but what about the couch with asbestos in it??#come on babe i found it on the street but i sprayed it with febreeze and put a blanket on it#and Jasmine's like ahhhh nope that's good I'm mostly turned off now anyway sooo#for anon#asks answered#jasco socialite au
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S3 ep4
LEEEEETS GOOO!
Girl Stinky fighting Grandpa for Sal's honor 😍
So many Sams😲
Can the narrator pls shut up
"After they yanked it away they turned their attention on us." "actually I think they were more interested in me."
"Looks like it's time to boil the haggis" I love u Grandpa Stinky
"Need any help?" "No, I've been dreaming of this for years." *Continues to shoot Sam clones*
Skunkape loosing his mind
Oh geez, the dogglegangers kidnapped him
Girl Stinky still denying her obvious relationship with Sal
Oh hey I can make toast... Never mind then 😕
"Ah, I remember when I was a toaster."
Max and Grandpa are having a little too much fun shooting the clones
Why does Stinky have a picture of the DeSoto???
Well, the plan to turn into the DeSoto failed
I really didn't need to read minds to figure out how to get out, but I guess it was a good way to remind players of the tunnel
"Max is so powerful now... Soon he won't even need a partner."
Ew, Grandpa wants to sell clone meat 🤢
Sam struggling to not eat a fudgcicle is super relatable
Oh the tunnel is blocked. Knowing Girl she probably has a backup
I knew it.
"Happiness is a warm gun." "My gun is always warm... and a little bit moist." WHAT
*Gives clone a peanut butter ball* "Ew. It has peanut butter dog mouth. I hate when I do that."
Haha I made Sam eat a peanut butter ball now he's doing that dog lip smack thing
Oh hey, we can take a fudgcicle now. ...Oh, I know what to do!
Presidential Alert: The Stinky's are fighting!
Why does Girl Stinky's tunnel lead to a cloning facility?
The clone Sam approves of Sam's outfit
He stole Sam's hat!!!
"That's strange." yeah, you think!?
"--unholy army of sexually provocative Sam clones" What you just call them Max 👀
Cthulu tenticles!!!
They have spikes
"I'm thinking of a number between--" "Potato!" "That's uncanny."
Sam
"Momma sure does love a nicely turned Sam gam."
This episode is quickly turning into Max repeatedly saying how hot he thinks Sam is 👀
I guess let's explore the tunnels
Ooh the museum
Doctor Norrington? We get to meet him?
Nope :(
When they jumped back into the tunnels Max raised his hands up and Sam picked him up 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰
Back through the tunnels
The shadow physics are all messed up
Boscotech!
Harry and Superball are trying to contact Momma. Can she not appear anymore?
Queen? Where are you?
"Keep your eyes peeled, Max." "Ugh, that's disgusting, Sam."
"What do you know about these scary--" "But dashing!" "--toy stealing Sam clones." oh max
"So you don't know where Momma Bosco is?" Sam says with a huge sad face
Superball my love
Max smokes Cuban cigars
"Yes sir, quite the coinkydink."
"I'm going to stand over here and try to shake off the memory of you saying balliwick." *,Literally stands in corner shaking his arms side to side* Max. I love you
*Harry insults Sam* *Max jumps to his defence*
"I'm afraid the contents on my mind is classified, sirs."
I'm going to find Sal
The hat thief stole the car!!!
Buster Blaster!!!
"Max." "that's what they call me at the manipedi." The boys get manicurs
I can't get to Sal or Buster Blaster because of the clones :(
Look a buster blaster's future and he's just floating through space shouting "This is totally awesome!"
Back to Stinky's
Flint Paper!!!
Flint's mind is just noir narrative... As it should be
Girl Stinky realized Max has been reading her mind
Sam and Max role-playing as Flint and Girl has me laughing
Girl tied Sam up into her lies
The fact that the boys don't realize who Mr. S is is astonishing
Great I have to find a cake. Back to Sal?
The clone Sam hugging the stuffed Bunny 🥰
Sam was doing the same to Max 😍
Love for legomorphs is stored in the dna
Oh hey I missed Charlie the first time
Max shares the creeped out feelings Charlie gives me. Good
Sal knows how to cook 💖
Sal is an artist 🥰
I love Sal
OMG is there actual blood on the cake
No! Don't eat Max!
Sam got a kiss from Stinky, lucky dog. I can't tell if he's surprised or grossed out 😂
Flint and Max are disgusted by the kiss
Oh to be kissed by Girl Stinky... or Sybil... Or Momma Bosco.
Sal doesn't want to kill. Good man
Girl and Sal are my new otp
Oh no, power het couple are possessed
Ok, I'm going back to boscotech for now to mess with Harry now that I have Charlie
Max really hamming it up
Oh hey, Max actually summoned Momma
Agent Superball just teleported?!
What is going on with him?
Also he has OTHER superiors
Momma are you hiding something?
"mmm-mm-mm, those shorts sure don't leave anything to the imagination, do they?"
Was Max right, does Momma have a thing for Sam?
Lol she was lying.
She seems to feel guilty about selling her cloning machines.
Max don't you dare mention the poppers in front of me!!!
It's pretty obvious it's Papierwaite
I like it when she spins
Oh, are we going to track down Bosco to get more DNA for her new body?
I'm going to take to Buster Blaster
"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anything about those Sam clones running around?" "THOSE ARE REAL?" "Yeah." "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!"
He gave us a letter to give to Momma from Bosco.
"See ya Buster." "I AM BECOME DEATH!"
Sam called Bosco "baby Bosco"
Oh hey, I probably should have tried reading Papierwaiite's mind already
Sam picked Max up so he could type in the code
Ew, Norrinton is a chest burster cthulu
Everyone keeps making fun of Sam's weight :(
Max's reaction to Norringron's grandson being named Junior is great
I used the destabilizer to look for the weapon and now Sam is crying profusely
That Romeo and Juliet reference tho
He's fine now
Well that was a lot of trial and error
Got the new toy and killed the tentacles
Time to get Momma a new body
Momma is bald. That's fine
Love that she's fully clothed even though that doesn't make any sense
Yay shooting things!
Oh no we made Sal fall
Momma is so excited to telport
Aw, she held Max's hand while Sam patted his head ❤️
She punched out Girl! Go Momma!
Ha, we made the clones dance.
Yay, we figured out where the toybox is.
AAAAH
I knew Charlie was going to be evil!
I hate evil dolls
The clones knocked the boys out
We're at the statue of liberty now???
Ew, she's got tenticles
Charlie wants to be reunited with Junior. Can't let that happen since it'll cause the apocalypse
Max is more concerned for Sam than the world
Charlie kidnapped Norrinton
Sam is still struggling against the thrall
Oh hey, got Charlie to let Sam talk
Let's mess with the sheet music
The liberty puzzel was fun
Oh shit, did Charlie just kill Norrington and Papierwaite
Ooooh, Max is all glowly
Ok, that last puzzel was kinda easy
Sam got his hat back!
Max, oh no he fell
Sam looked so scared
Oh Max, scared us for no reason
Oh God, he's scaring us for real now
OMG is this because he swallowed some demon yolk?
He's so big and Cthulu-y now!!!
Shut up narrator!
"Well, this is new." oh Sam
Wait the episode just ends there!?
Gaaahd now I have to stay up and play the next one or die from suspense.
After credits scene... Did we kill Sal!? Nooo!!!!
#sam and max#freelance husbands#sam & max#sam and max freelance police#sam & max freelance police#freelance police#grandpa stinky#girl stinky#sal s&m#momma bosco#papierwaite#agent superball#lee plays sam and max
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According to halacha, which actions are Azula liable for?
Reposted from my Tumblr.
One of my favorite ways to study Jewish texts is to take a fictional character or situation and examine it through the lens of Jewish text and tradition.
I’ve done this before with ABC’s Once Upon A Time. Now I’m going to take up this exercise again with Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Before I begin, a few things to keep in mind.
I’m not a Talmud scholar.
There is no definitive Jewish Opinion™ about any issue pertaining to halacha. Unanimous opinions on halacha are so rare that when we find one, we assume something went wrong in the process..
Azula is a morally polarizing character in AtLA fandom. Regardless of who you ask, you’re bound to get some strong opinions about exactly what she’s done, the extent to which she’s responsible for it, and what this says about her morality or lack thereof. I’m not going to rehash those arguments. I think I’ve made it clear that I care less about whether people approve of her behavior than I do about how their statements about her reinforce harmful messages about women, people of color, LGBT people and mentally ill people.
Nevertheless, she’s incredibly interesting, and studying Jewish text is fun, so here we are.
Why examine Azula’s actions through the lens of halacha?
Halacha gets a lot of flack because it comes off as excessively legalistic. But, in my opinion, that’s based on a misunderstanding of what halacha is. Usually translated as “Jewish law,” the word halacha actually comes from the root word that means “to go/walk.”
Halacha is not a collection of rules for the sake of having rules. It’s meant to take us somewhere. You can write a library of books about exactly what that is and what it means. But for the sake of simplicity, halacha is how we show that we recognize the holiness of everything in creation. So we aim to do right by one another, by the land we live in and by the creatures we share this world with.
Before we can launch into examining the halachic ramifications of the things Azula does, we need to establish some boundaries.
Only the show counts. It’s the common frame of reference universally accepted by the vast majority of fandom. Fandom’s stances on the comics, novelizations and other tie-in materials are too variable to base an analysis on.
Word of God is immaterial. While some would use the phrase Death of the Author, Jewish tradition has a more entertaining take on it. In the Talmud, there’s a dispute between Rabbi Eliezer and some of his peers. In that story, Rabbi Eliezer says that if he’s right, this or that miraculous thing would happen, and those miraculous things do happen. But the other rabbis still reject it because we don’t determine halacha by miraculous signs. Eventually, God parts the heavens and says, “Rabbi Eliezer is right.” But another rabbi responds, “The Torah is not in heaven,” meaning that the Torah was meant for human beings on earth to interpret for themselves. And God’s response? To smile and say, “My children have defeated Me.”
Now, let’s begin.
Is Azula bound by halacha?
She’s not Jewish, so no. However, all human beings are bound by the Noahide laws. For the sake of argument, let’s say that the Noahide covenant applies to all humans on all worlds. According to the Talmud (Sanhedrin 56a.24):
Since the halakhot of the descendants of Noah have been mentioned, a full discussion of the Noahide mitzvot is presented. The Sages taught in a baraita: The descendants of Noah, i.e., all of humanity, were commanded to observe seven mitzvot: The mitzva of establishing courts of judgment; and the prohibition against blessing, i.e., cursing, the name of God; and the prohibition of idol worship; and the prohibition against forbidden sexual relations; and the prohibition of bloodshed; and the prohibition of robbery; and the prohibition against eating a limb from a living animal.
What is Azula’s legal status?
In any case, we know the rules, and now we have to decide whether Azula broke them or not, right?
Not so fast.
First, we have to determine if Azula is of the appropriate legal status to be held accountable for upholding the Noahide laws. In other words: when she committed certain acts, was Azula an adult capable of making rational decisions?
Clear your mind of the idea that being an adult is the same as being a grownup. Instead, think of it as a term that defines when people can make legally binding decisions.
As far as I can tell, the Talmud doesn’t say when a gentile becomes an adult. However, we can use halacha as a guide.
Now for a warning.
If frank talk about the physical development of adolescents makes you uncomfortable, you might want to skip this next part. There’s nothing graphic or titillating about what I’m going to discuss, but if breasts and pubic hair squick you out, skip this part until I say it’s safe in bold like this.
According to halacha, a girl reaches adulthood when she’s twelve years and one day old and has two pubic hairs. Yeah, you read that right. Twelve and two pubes are the requirement. Before this point, nothing she does is legally binding, even if she’s really smart and claims to be fully aware of what she’s doing. After this point, her actions are legally binding, even if she says she had no idea what she was doing.
On the show, we see Azula in a range of ages. In “Zuko Alone,” we see her at roughly eight years old. In “The Storm,” she’s about eleven. In all the other episodes she’s in, she’s fourteen. So, from a legal standpoint, flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding. At that point in time, the responsibility would fall to her parents.
Um, I’m not willing to speculate about the genitals of an underage cartoon character, so for the sake of argument, I’m assuming that 14-year-old Azula meets the two pubes requirement. Thus, 14-year-old Azula is responsible for her actions.
If you skipped that last part, it’s safe to continue now.
OK, we’ve established that flashback!Azula is too young for her actions to be legally binding, but in the main story, Azula is legally an adult and responsible for her actions.
We good? Alright.
Which Noahide laws does Azula actually break?
This is both easier and harder than it seems.
The laws about idol worship, cursing God, and forbidden sexual acts don’t apply to her because neither religion nor sex are portrayed as such on the show. Also, the law about establishing courts of justice is a communal obligation, not one that falls on a single individual, so that’s another one we don’t have to concern ourselves with.
That leaves the prohibitions against bloodshed, robbery and eating a limb cut from a living animal.
First up: bloodshed.
The connotation of the prohibition against bloodshed is not for general acts of violence, but actual murder.
Here’s where I think I’m going to throw a lot of people for a loop. Azula doesn’t kill anyone on the show. She tries. She comes close. She wouldn’t lose sleep over it if she did. But nobody’s dead because of her. She doesn’t even take lives as collateral damage.
One could argue that zapping Aang with lightning counts as killing, but when the Sages talk about death and dying, I assume they mean the kind where the dead stay dead, not people who are revived by magic spirit water. Furthermore, if someone’s about to kill you (and I think entering the Avatar State qualifies here), you are halachically obligated to save your own life, even if it means killing that person.
Second: robbery.
We’ll come back to that.
Third: eating a limb from a living animal.
This prohibition is often expanded to incorporate all forms of animal cruelty.
The show does portray animal cruelty. We see a prime example with the circus in “Appa’s Lost Days.”
But what about Azula? We don’t see her interact with many animals on the show, but there are two notable examples: Appa the sky bison in “Appa’s Lost Days” and Bosco the bear in “The Crossroads of Destiny.”
How does her behavior measure up? Despite her earlier behavior of terrorizing turtleducks, Azula does not harm either Appa or Bosco.
On the show, Mai and Ty Lee are seen spending time with Bosco in the throne room while the Earth King is imprisoned. So, at the very least, they treat the bear well.
So, Azula is not liable for animal cruelty.
*hands Azula her Not As Big A Jerk As She Could Have Been award*
Now, let’s revisit that prohibition against robbery.
Given the prescribed punishment (decapitation), the connotation seems to be taking the rightful property of another through violent means. That being said, the prohibition against robbery is often extended to include all sorts of theft.
This one might have some legs. On the show, does Azula take the rightful property of another, and does she use violent means to do so?
Absolutely.
A major example is stealing the clothes of the Kyoshi Warriors after defeating them in combat.
But!
The show takes place during a time of war, and the Kyoshi Warriors, as allies of the Avatar, are enemies of the Fire Nation. So does beating them up and taking their uniforms fall under the prohibition against robbery, or are the Kyoshi Warrior uniforms considered the spoils of war and thus free for the taking?
Halachically speaking, it might actually be the latter. When fighting the Kyoshi Warriors, Azula acts as a military commander during a time of war and achieves a decisive victory against an elite combat unit. Thus, she is entitled to take their stuff.
So, back to the original question: which actions does Azula commit during the show that she’s halachically liable for?
The answer, shockingly, may be: none.
On the show, we’re encouraged to think of Azula as a Very Bad Girl who does Very Bad Things. She’s calculating, ruthless and deceptive. She’s also full of herself. She’s not someone who inspires warm, fuzzy feelings in most people. But when you put her actions under the microscope, she exercises remarkable restraint compared to what she’s capable of.
Don’t worry. No one’s going to nominate her for a Nobel Peace Prize just yet. This is Azula we’re talking about. She’s not acting out of an overwhelming love for humanity. But it is interesting that despite her threats to kill, maim and destroy, she doesn’t participate in wanton destruction or wasteful loss of life.
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RuPaul’s Drag Race: Enema of the Balls
What’s better than one ball? Two, of course!
With the two groups of queens finally coming together, it was only right that Ru throw a good ol’ fashion ball, but we got a few WTF moments before that went down. First, if you thought we’d seen the last of Orion Story and Daya Betty - think again, because they strolled right back into the Werk Room leaving certain queens highly upset *cough* June *cough* Then we found out that RuPaul wanted to market his chocolate bars - I mean give us an All-Star-like twist by having each of the queens take a confectionary, autograph it, and then well, toss a little Willy Wonka in the mix.
One of the queen’s bars will be golden - a golden ticket if you will - that they can use if they find themselves in the bottom and are told to shantay away. Tonight was not the night we got to see it, and I’m sure the remaining queens were relieved to see their chances of having that sugary saving grace was still high. Well, now they each have a 1 in 13 chance of having it instead of 1 in 14 since one of the LA queens was sent packing because…sewing was not their thing.
And in a ball, we’ve learned it better be your thing. So after the two eliminated queens come back and we’re introduced to the delicious twist, we find out that the two groups are sort of split again because the first batch of queens we met would have an animal print themed ball, and the second had to have red, white, and blue which I feel we’ve seen far too often on this show, right? Maybe it’s because Blue Jean Baby from the most recent All-Stars is fresh in my mind…
Anyways, other queens like Deja and Jasmine could not wait to get to this challenge because they proudly can and do make garments for themselves. I think Deja made everything we’ll be seeing her wear this season. Other queens like Kornbread and Kerri had to hope and pray whatever they pulled together managed to do what it had to do to get them through to next week’s episode - and they did just that. To me, Kerri came through with each and every look, and Kornbread - I loved her second look a lot but all in all - I just wasn’t a huge fan of the animal print side of things. There were some good looks but nothing in that group drove me…wild.
However, I wasn’t that thrilled on the other side too just because I personally hate how tacky red, white, and blue look together. I think that comes from what followed the 2016 election and how manic those colors became. Nonetheless, there were some queens that killed it like Angeria. Carson praised her white ensemble and rightfully so. The same with every look Willow Pill walked out in. Our favorite tub-thumper won this week’s challenge, and while I expected Willow to be high after I saw her second look - I thought Daya Betty was going to take the win just because her looks were sort of over the top and fun. She was just safe though along with many of the queens except Orion Story, Maddy, and June.
I had a feeling they didn’t want to just repeat the first episode so…Orion was going to be safe, but I was surprised that Maddy actually um, turned it up a bit in that lip-sync. June is such a great performer but I feel like when you start taking everything off, Ru immediately sees that as a last-ditch effort. Plus, Maddy made Ru laugh and we all know that’s the way to win with Ru 99.9% of the time. But what wasn’t making Ru laugh this week? That coffee enema she mentioned, um…weird.
In the end, Maddy lived to see another day and June’s candy bar was just chocolate.
Current Rankings Based on Performances So Far:
Tops:
Angeria: A win and a top placement, she’s on top of the leaderboard
Willow Pill: I can’t imagine her not in the final four
Kornbread: A win the first week and safe this week, she’s not fallen from the bunch
Jorgeous: The tiniest queen is making some big impacts on the runway
Middle of the Pack: It’s an even playing field so far for these queens…
Bosco: Thought her runways have been stellar and her makeup is a standout
Kerri Colby: Drop dead gorgeous, but needs to work on a win because it’s what she deserves
Alyssa Hunter: I’m hoping Alyssa surprises us
Jasmine: More, we want more
Lady Camden: She looked so beautiful tonight
Da Bottoms:
Deja: She landed in the bottom her first time out BUT killed it so…
Maddy: Rough around the edges a bit
Orion: Went home first and then didn’t fare too well when she came back…
#rupaul's drag race#drag race#tv review#kerri colby#kornbread jete#kornbread#alyssa hunter#bosco#june jambalaya#willow pill#orion story#angeria paris vanmicheals#daya betty#deja skye#lady camden#maddy morphosis#jasmine kennedie#jorgeous
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Blaire Reviews: Ezra Season 4
Disclaimer: This is all my opinion, you are allowed to disagree with me. I encourage you to read this route and form your own opinions. (It’s no secret that EAA is my favorite series, so this will probably be extremely biased)
First Impressions
The stakes are very high going into this season. Red is on the loose, and with the spell on the Ice Queen's heart broken, it's only a matter of time before she's there as well. Probably doesn't help that Ezra broke the fucking front door down because either could easily walk into the house and kill everyone.
The conflict becomes immediately apparent when Ezra and FMC go to the university and find that all of the students and faculty are in some sort of trance, lifelessly moving around the school, while barely reacting to anything going on around them (If only Bosco was in this route, he'd fit right in).
They go to the library to find Darla, only to discover that she and Omar are also under this mysterious spell, and have lost their memories of magic. We also got this glorious moment (and you're lying if you said you picked any other option).
Ezra, Mouse, and Edward go off to find Red (and restore the power of three after Ezra broke it last season by running away like the dramatic bitch he is for like the fifth time in his route) leaving FMC with Nora and Arin, who get her to confess that the spell around the Ice Queen's heart has been broken. Fortunately, FMC is also given confirmation that she was not responsible for what was happening to the student body.
Unfortunately, we find out that Red is the one responsible for this, having stolen Omar's lamp and using them essentially as an army to literally "paint the town red".
In order to find Red's book, Ezra and FMC realize they need to go to the magic world to find it. Nora goes with them in order to collect ingredients she needs to reverse Dr. Tutorea's curse. But Arin warns them that The Ice Queen would know if Ezra was in the world, so they had to be quick.
The group (minus MMC and Lucas for some reason) performs a spell that will allow the door between worlds to be slightly open. I thought that this heart scene was incredibly well done, and was 100% worth the hearts.
Once in the magic world, we're immediately introduced to Galahad. Now I know plenty of people want his route, which I can understand, (the amount of male LIs who are genuinely sweet off the bat is very low) but I found him to be boring. Granted, he wasn't introduced until halfway through Ezra's last season, and his character was barely used. If we were given more time to see his character, maybe I'd understand the hype around him more.
Ezra finds Red's book and reads it, realizing that Red was the one who killed the wolves (like with Grandma, I'd suspected it, but the reveal was still shocking nonetheless). The Ice Queen shows up (though we don't actually see her), and with Red's book, the potion for Dr. Tutorea, and our new friend who Ezra totally isn't jealous of, the group goes back through the door.
I loved the final battle (even if it was paywalled) and being able to see everyone working together to take Red down. AND MOUSE FINALLY GOT TO SLAP HER!
Good for you baby, I'm proud of you.
For someone who has been getting hyped for this entire route, the Ice Queen made an appearance for a whooping one episode. In her defense, she did make the most of her short appearance. Her turning on Red and calling her out for betraying the hunters and Grandma was an amazing moment. Also:
Yeah, it's a little on the nose, especially since we already know she's getting a route in June. Still, I thought it was a fun addition. See you then Lavinia!
The finale was similar to Nora's. The MCs get their memories back, and FMC, Ezra, Nora, Lucas, and Dr. Tutorea go to the magic world. But what I wasn't expecting was that last heart scene. In all honesty, it probably was just a cute moment between Ezra and FMC, and I'm probably overthinking things. But it seemed a lot like they were exchanging vows- So I'm allowing myself to have this headcanon that they eloped.
Then and Now
Since this was Ezra's final season, I'm going to compare the character and relationship dynamics in his first and last seasons.
When we first meet Ezra, he's clearly the mean, snarky LI that we have never seen before, especially in wlm routes. We did get a few glimpses of a softer, more gentle side of Ezra as the season progressed, and he showed himself to be very protective over FMC (especially when Edward was introduced). One thing I loved about the relationship dynamic between FMC and Ezra was the banter. Both of them have very strong personalities, and there were moments where they would clash with each other. But rather than being malicious remarks towards each other, these arguments were more playful jabs, which was refreshing.
In this season, Ezra was much more open with FMC. There was still some witty banter between the two of them, but we also got more sweet moments. There was also better communication, and there was clearly a great amount of trust there. Ezra didn't run off as much and would tell FMC his plans beforehand to make her feel more comfortable.
In my opinion, Ezra is an example of the rude LI trope done right. He admires FMC's ambition and bravery, mentioning how most people don't have the guts to stand up to him (which is the origin of the nickname "Little Star"). I've seen other LIs of this type belittling the MC, and sometimes downright insulting them Chance Valentine, but Ezra clearly respects her.
Final Thoughts
It's always sad to see such a beloved route end. This story had so much potential, and it's sad to see the potential wasted by ending a route early, especially with such a beloved LI. As someone who isn't attracted to men, it's rare for me to find a wlm route that I can avidly enjoy and look forward to seeing updates for.
Despite the ending feeling somewhat rushed, this season was incredibly well done and allowed us time to see our favorite characters one last time. Red was an amazing and ruthless villain, the dynamic between the group was wonderful. I don't think we could have asked for a better ending (just maybe a few seasons later).
Overall Rating: 8/10
Favorite CG
I was stuck between this CG and the last one, but if there's anything that I'm weak for, it's beautiful lighting and attractive women.
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My favorite Quotes from the Sam and Max game part 4
(After crashing into a mailbox) Max: I have to point out Sam, that we could've avoided this gruesome accident, if you'd just let me drive Sam: And I have to point out that we could've avoided this gruesome accident if you hadn't jumped on my head, shouting, "Jersey Devil, Jersey Devil" firing your gun out the window Max: I swear that woman was a dead ringer for him
(When trying to get into the White House while Superball stops them and uses code words) Superball: Yeah that's a negative on the access permission sir, I'll have to ask you and your little friend to step away from the White House Max (to Sam): Doggy Daddy, this is Loose Cannon, request permission to pants this goon, over.
(Looking at a plaque on a building) Sam: "Your Name Here", for naming rights to this building please contact the office of desperation accounting Max: Oh boy! Can we Sam? Please! Sam: We'll see little buddy
(In Sybil's Office, talking about her new matchmaking career) Sam: Could you find dates for Max and me? Sybil: Seriously? I mean sure! Why not, stranger things have happened...I guess... They must have, somewhere. Max: I'm choosing not to be offended by that Sam: What do we need to do? Sybil: It's easy! Just submit an application
(Filling out a dating application) Sybil: Let me help you guys out, tell me your good points, and what your looking for in a date Sam: She should love animals Max: Such as the elusive praying mantis, whose deadly but enthralling mating rituals, she mimics! Sam: You really know how to ruin the mood Max Max: Oh, and cybernetic implants! Like an elbow that can connect to the internet
Sam: She should have an air of mystery Max: Making frequent mention to her time on the Chain Gang, but when pressed, revealing nothing
Sam: She should love the outdoors Max: We frequently lock ourselves out of the office
Sam: She should be tall Max: At least 12 feet, or 4 meters if she's canadian
Sam: I'm very spiritual Max: A disciple of the ancient ones, enacting dark magic rituals to bring forth again their rain upon this earth! Rise Sigaroth! Rise Abyalsalum! (Sam shakes his head at Max)
Sam: I lead an active life style Max: Always running from the authorities
Sam: I can appreciate a person's inner beauty Max: I even have my own sonogram machine
(After Sybil has put their applications into the "Decision Matrix") Sybil: Max it says your perfect match is... well, that's interesting. It says your perfect match is Sam. Max: Disturbing! And yet somehow, not completely unexpected Sybil: And Sam, your ideal soulmate is... Max: Wait for it... Sybil: Max! Sam: Well, there goes another blow to the concept of a fair and just universe
Max: Hey Sam, what do ya say, we never ever speak of this again Sam: Way ahead of ya little buddy
(The prompt was "Do you remember your first kiss Max?" But when pressed to say it, they say this) Max: Where you going to ask me something Sam? Sam:: I was, but decided I'd rather not hear about it
Sam: Ever feel lonely Max? Max: No, I have the voices to keep me company
Sam: I guess we should get back to work Max: When you love what you do, it doesn't even feel like work
Sam (to Max): What's your opinion on this Prismatology nonsense? Max: My religious faith is based on who gives away the best free stuff!
Boscoe: The governments watching us all the time Max: So that's why I always feel an overbearing presence just out of my field of vision, watching and judging my every move Sam:...That's me Max
(In Bosco's Inconveniance Store) Sam: Max and I are always the only one's in here Bosco: Is good thing! Merchandise is always available! Max: Coming in here is like visiting old friends Sam: Some of these cereal boxes are from the Mckenley administration Max (to Sam): I carved our initials in one of the weenies, so we'll be best friends forever Sam!
Max: Sam, this morning I used your toothbrush Max: Our phone bill sure is gonna be expensive this month
(Talking to Chuckles) Sam: Your co-dependancy sickens me Max: And it sickens me in exactly the same way, doesn't it Max- I mean Sam
Max: Should we pummel him together Sam? Or should we take turns?
Sam: I'm glad we took this time to talk Max Max: Keep in touch Sam, I mean that
(Doing a campaign speech) Max: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And the Chulpacabra! Madre de dios he'll kill us all!
Sam: What's the date today Max? Max: I'm president of the United States Sam! What date do you want it to be?
Specs: I want to be respected as more then just a beloved TV celebrity Sam: If it makes you feel better, you where never really that beloved Max: Sam and I always watched your show with detached irony
Sybil: Men are such self-centered jerks Max: Preach it girlfriend!
Sam: Sounds fun, but I was thinking we could treat ourselves to some chocolate frosted gut-bombs and then have a little target practice down at the Smithsonian Max: Sam, you're my best friend.
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BML Livestream Reaction 6/9/2020
To my lovely H.H. viewers, listeners, readers:
Wow! The livestream today on Ashley's channel was incredible. The fandom raised more than 60,000 dollars for the Black Lives Matter charity. (I was one of the unnoticed ones who donated). I'm just as amazed as the show staff at the sheer generosity and talent of this fandom. There were a lot of hilarious moments and very good improvs as well. (ex. Bosco saying in Alastor's voice: "I'm an unstoppable death machine!" And all the "Oh Ashley," running gags.
Onto theories and clip reveals:
There appear to be at least five episodes for Helluva Boss (maybe) and perhaps for Hazbin Hotel as well. When would episode 12 + come out? 2027? I'll happily wait if I can live and last that long.
The first clip revealed showed Blitzo taking to Loona, him saying "have a treat" and then eating the biscuit. Millie appears to be there with Moxxie, drawing a pentagram symbol on a wall. Perhaps a gateway to the human world?
Blitzo (yells at a shy imp): "You set fire to my fucking office in front of a goddamn client you dipshit, now someone please tell me that hocus pocus book is still intact?"
Loona (holding the Satanic book): "Our only ticket to the living world? Grabbed it."
Blitzo: "That's why you're my favorite, Loony! You get a treat."
Loona: "Ew. Stop."
Blitzo eats a treat with a happy look on his face. An imp in a dress stands in the background. Millie draws a pentagram on the wall.
Blitzo (to Loona) "Oh stop it, I get enough of that from my therapist. Now lets get to it, gang!"
They prepare to enter Earth.
Second clip: We are introduced to Loo-Loo Land, an apple-themed circus/amusement park. Loo-Loo is another term for sh*t or bathrooms, so a fitting name for one in Hell. Loo-Loo is a large creepy apple mascot who appears overly cheerful toward the imps and presumably Octavia, who's not impressed. Stolas then takes Blitzo to the rides. He can be seen in a themed outfit, with an apple on his shirt, sorts, and a balloon in his hand. Lucifer has a bar/land called Loo-Loo Land that the theme park is a bad spinoff of it.
Millie (both wear glasses): (Moxxie) "Come on, it's fun! You've never been here?" Moxxie: "No. Theme parks always disturb me. Especially (shakes) the mascots."
A creepy mascot dressed as a red apple appears behind them. He's a red apple with a missing tooth in a wide grin of teeth and one of the eyes hanging from string.
Loo-Loo (in a southern accent) "Well, hey there!"
Millie and Moxxie scream.
Loo-Loo: "I'm Loo-Loo! Welcome to Loo-Loo land!"
Stolas talks to his daughter Octavia by a dinosaur carousel.
Stolas: "Look, Via, it's Loo-Loo!"
Octavia is not impressed with the childish theme park and the lack of more modern rides and features.
Octavia (British accent): "I have a question."
Loo-Loo: Well ask away, little girlie! (Goofy laugh)"
Octavia: "Is it true that this theme park is really a shameless spin-off of Lucifer's more popular Loo-Loo World?" (Disneyland vs Disneyworld)
Loo-Loo: No."
Octavia: "This place reeks of insecure corporate shame."
Stolas: "Why don't we go check out the rides."
Third clip showed what appears to be a rival company to Immediate Murder Professionals. It's called CHERUB, consisting of flying singing sheep with halos and angel wings. It can be assumed that they come from Heaven. Do they save lives (like the alternate E.L.F. in Heavenuva Boss) or do they grant miracles while scamming people? One things for sure, they are super cute. Hmm...maybe they are part of brainwashed sheep who want to spread Heaven's culture so others can mindlessly follow it? Or maybe just as a way to bring down I.M.P. to prove that they can be the best demon killers around? Blitzo blows up a TV in frustration. Now I.M.P. has to find a way to save their company and stop their rivals.
Based on the song, they save people's lives on Earth! (Guess what Hazbins: I thought of the AU E.L.F. characters before this was cool!)
If there is a rival company in Heaven to I.M.P. in Hell, it can only mean one thing: a (Haven) hotel in Heaven may also exist. (Except it would be used to give angels freedom to cause trouble and sin/to be themselves in defiance to the strict rules.)
The sheep angels save people from a car accident, and lift up a rock from a crushed person. They do the work for free, as one of them denies money. With I.M.P. killing humans and C.H.E.R.U.B. saving people, it brings the world in balance. (Though poor sheep: too many people are dying from Covid 19.) Both of them do their part to influence the living world (strangely enough, the Hazbin Earth humans seem accepting of the random creatures who arrive and then leave.
C.H.E.R.U.B. saves people so they have a chance to go to Heaven. I.M.P. kills people for money so the humans wind up in Hell.
Christ's Heavenly Efficient Revivers Under Bless
Christ's Healing Employees Revive Unlimited Bodies
Creators Host Efficient Revival Under Belief
Creating Happy Earth Routines U Believe
Sheep/faun one female: "Luckily for you..."
Sheep two male: "There is something we can do..."
Both: "We can help you feel alive, so you can save some time!(waste and drive?)" (two sheep stand beside a baby angel and all smile)
"Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B., we can save your honey butt from dying violently. " C.H.E.R.U.B. (R mark) "We never even ask a fee." "Because good people spread the love, "And we're here for all above. "We do the paperwork for you "And the heavy lifting too." (Female sheep is shown exhausted in a pile of paperwork and later shown lifting a boulder from a man.) Both sheep witness a dying man from a car accident and wipe the scene away. "So sit back and let us bless a soul... for you." (all three sing). "Oh we, are the C.H..."
Blitzo blows up the TV in anger.
Random names: The cherub is Blitzo's opposite, Millie and the female sheep and Moxxie and the male sheep.
Blitzo's name is German for lightning. Moxxie means aggressive energy. Millie means mild strength/industrious
Donner= German for thunder Jalen= peace Ardel = industrious
Theories based on the song: 1. Heaven has animal-like Zoophobia characters like Hell 2. C.H.E.R.U.B. saves lives while I.M.P. kills them, thus keeping the world in balance. 3. The cherub leader would be Blitzo's rival. Male sheep vs Moxxie, female sheep vs Millie 4. If I.M.P. had their way, everyone would be dead. If C.H.E.R.U.B. had their way, the earth would be overpopulated. 5. C.H.E.R.U.B. have access to Heaven and Earth. They probably use the Bible to access the living world. 6. C.H.E.R.U.B. would save anyone, even criminals. 7. C.H.E.R.U.B. might have another Loona counterpart. 8. Could I.M.P. and C.H.E.R.U.B. have access to all three realms?
Clip number four: Blitzo and Stolas talk in bed. Stolas goes under the covers and stares seductively at him. He gets the idea to take Blitzo to a Harvest Festival with him as a bodyguard. Blitzo gets suspicious, claiming he won't go if Stolas uses him for sex and his purposes. Soon, Blitzo decides to come along. Stolas then says "sorry about you leaving behind your clients," while Blitzo retorts "Oh fuck my clients!" Best line. Stolas' wife will not be happy when she hears of Stolas and Blitzo's relationship.
Stolas (smokes a cigarette): " It's shocking to it to be seen, Blitzy. My grimoire is incredibly vital. And it isn't supposed to be let out by little imps like yourself." He puts out his cigarette on Blitzo's horns and pinched his cheek. Blitzo sighs and shoves him off. Both appear to be topless.
Stolas: "The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion. It's been my annual duty to celebrate it in the Ring of Wrath. It's a charming little festival with games and music..."
Blitzo: "A wrath ring, huh? My employees are from there. Haven't really been, but it sounds like a place of imprints."
Stolas: "Oh! Why don't you all accompany me to the festival as our special guests?! I'll give you all... (goes under the covers and lies near Blitzo's privates. "...special access." (chuckles)
Blitzo: "Look I told you, we're not bodyguards, alright? It was a one time thing we did and guess what? We did it badly!"
Stolas stands up with the cover over his head.
Stolas: "I'm simply offering a fun work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. I go every year. Nothing has changed."
Blitzo: "Okay, look if you promise this is not some fuck-fest invite... it does sound like it could be fun. Alright, I'll run it by the others. It sounds like we can work without the book anyway."
Stolas: "I do hope to see you there. I'm sorry your clients will have to wait."
Blitzo: (waves his hand) "Oh fuck my clients!"
We are introduced to new characters: Loo-Loo the creepy apple mascot, the shy imp, owl princess Octavia, "Melodia" the queen, the CHERUB sheep and Robo-Fizz, a robotic jester demon colored black, yellow, white, and light pink-red. It can be assumed that he is red and black and dangerous in his true form. Could Hell's circus be one big conspiracy? Anything is possible in the inferno.
Thank you to all who supported Vivzie's charity and those who continue to show their love for the show and concern for what's going on in the world. Protests, Police, Pandemic, Personal Rights. I donated earlier and I do all I can to keep the fandom together, trying to tapper down the "shipping wars." I don't feel like a hero at all, but I feel good that I'm showing support.
My work is unknown in comparison to all the marvelous Charlastor fanfictions out there:
MuseValentine's "Smiling Man" Angelus19's "Taxidermist"
and many more.
Please don't forget to show support to Hazbin Madness and Radio Hazbin on YouTube. Some people may disagree with me on this, but I think those two voice actors and comic dubbers have better potential than Markapiler and JackdaSepticeye. Yes, the latter two may be famous and well-known, but in my opinion, only HalusaTwin and InSaiyans capture the uncasted Lucifer and Lilith so well. A king and queen of the fandom.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVkr2V_Y-sIzBH01AbPcufw
But don't fret. This fandom has given me ideas that keep skyrocketing through my head and into the world. I've made fanfictions since 2014 and have only made more after being exposed to DBZ and H.H. My long projects seem to take months to update but as long as I'm alive, inspired and have free time, I won't cease doing what I love. Indeed, Viv's words inspired me toward the end of the stream. She said to a person who donated a lot and the viewers to share their creativity with the world, as it can inspire others. Vivziepop is a role model for me, as are so many of my friends/content creators (artist Ady Laine, theorist BlueRaven666, musician Ashboyo, my close friend Sumera Paleema (DBZ artist) and many others.
Very soon, I'll be expanding upon my rewrites/remixes of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Indeed, the future episodes may be closer than we think!
Stay safe out there and treat each other well.
-Kathy Prior 42
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Reviewing every Hitman level - Part 2: World of Assassination
Part 1 here: https://maydaymemer.tumblr.com/post/635416983034380288/reviewing-every-hitman-level-part-1-the-ps2
WoA1 (2016):
ICA Facility - 3/5
Both Freeform Training and The Final Test are okay. There’s just enough there to be enjoyable, but I wish Freeform had Contracts mode since I think that would bolster replayability. As infamous as Final Test is for newbie Contracts some of them provide more interesting gameplay scenarios than Jasper’s basic route.
The Showstopper/Paris - 4/5
In most of these reviews for WoA levels I’m judging both the mission and location at the same time. As for Paris there’s level design when it comes to the geometry itself but I think the targets leave a lot to be desired. I’m a little harsher on Blood Money and WoA because their rating systems are a lot less flexible than previous games, so they have to make up for that with highly manipulatable targets. Sure I can kill either target anywhere I want but due to Victor standing in a lot of crowds that’s not going to get my SA unless I use accidents, which even then can backfire if a non-target gets caught under them. Victor and Dalia are likeable assholes but I couldn’t find many good ways to manipulate them and break their scripting. There’s still ways sure, the coin is a godsend, but not as many as say Robert Knox in Miami. If IO brought back the escalations this could be bumped up to a perfect score based on level design alone, but right now it’s way too simple and reliant on doing what the devs want. It was their first true attempt at this new style so it’s understandable they were a little squeamish at giving total freedom.
Holiday Hoarders - 3/5
This is a fun little distraction. Unfortunately Harry and Marv don’t react to distractions but their routes are long and they’re alone most of the one which makes up for it. It’s easier to get SA with these guys without using opportunities than it is with the main mission targets. The challenges are also fun, requiring you to stop the targets from stealing from the palace then becoming Santa to kill them.
World of Tomorrow/Sapienza - 5/5
The first masterpiece of the new style. Highly manipulatable targets, great level design and great potential for Contracts. I’m still finding new things about this level, from kills I’ve never done before two areas I didn’t know I could go to. It took a while to grow on me but it’s definitely one of the best maps IO has ever made.
The Icon - 3/5
This bonus mission relies a little too much on scripted kills. There’s still ways to break that scripting but the level is really pushing them as something you need to try. Not a bad thing, they are fun kills, but it’s not a level that holds up and gets better on replays like the main mission. You’ll still find ways to kill Bosco without the Rube Goldberg routine, but not as many as the near limitless possibilities of Francesca and Silvio have.
Landslide - 4/5
This is much better, less of a reliance on the mission stories/opportunities and the scripted moments themselves have lots of variants. You can snipe Marco in the graveyard from afar rather than setting up the electrocution kill, you can drop a chandelier on him as a bodyguard while he meets the lawyer rather than becoming him yourself. You can also just hit him with the Sieker and plant an explosive on the toilet and book it. Great bonus mission.
The Author - 3/5
Getting the targets to meet is a good way of creating your own kills, either partaking in the meeting, watching from afar or letting Craig Black flee. But the routes themselves around up to snuff. Akram stays in his tiny apartment until you ring the bell and Black spends way too much time reading.
A Gilded Cage/Marrakesh - 5/5
This level has really grown on me. I used to say “it’s okay but it is a bit of a disappointment compared to Sapienza”, then “it’s a pretty good level it’s a little unfairly maligned” to “this is one of the best maps in the series and I don’t understand why people don’t like it.” The map does have the big problem of its middle section being pointless but the routes of the targets themselves, their synergy, how manipulatable they are and how easy it is to kill them in all kinds of different ways suit only is an absolute treat. You can snipe Zaydan in his office and no one will find him, you can lure him into the room next to the prisoner and strangle him and you can lure him into the toilet and push him to his death. With Strandberg you can electrocute him sure, but that’s intended, instead you can follow him into his office (keep in mind, in the suit) and when he’s in that area no one goes in you can strangle him, or you can toss a coin into the toilet and if he hears you can drown him. The mission is criminally underrated and I think it’s on par with Sapienza.
A House Built On Sand - 3/5
It’s alright but it suffers from a lack of suit only options for manipulating targets via Mission Stories. The rooftop meeting is actually good for getting non-story related kills like dropping the cafe sign on Kwang, or you can just strangle him when he gets there. It’s neat. You can do something similar with getting rid of the guy the fortune teller is talking to, enabling a suit only kill by distracting the fortune teller when he talks to Mendola. That’s what I like about the scripted kills, when you can do shit with them the devs might’ve not directly intended, or are just secret ways to do them. I love missions that give me a lot of either that or ways to create my own kills, which you can do with AHBOS but since it’s a bonus mission and one set around the crowd it’s a lot more difficult with the rating system we have currently, so having more ways to use mission stories/opportunities for the purpose of getting different kills they weren’t meant for would’ve improved this level.
Club 27/Bangkok - 4/5
This level is really poorly designed but I like it anyway. I think it’s the atmosphere but also Jordan Cross as both a character and a target. He’s really interesting but he’s also fun to manipulate and try to take out suit only, of which there are multiple ways to do so without using stories. Even then I do like using the USB story occasionally for suit only runs because it’s so cool. Ken Morgan is a pretty terrible target, not that manipulatable, personality wise he’s really generic and his short route is out in public a lot so it’s a bitch to get him. I’ve gotten an SA kill on him in that little table he phones at but it wasn’t easy. Jordan makes up for it, however, even if getting to him is overly linear due to a lack of climbing in this very vertical location the options you have for actually killing him are numerous and you can really make a suit only run your own with him.
The Source - 2/5
This mission, on the other hand, is just bad. Every time you start you have to jog up flights of stairs to get to the targets, and while they have decent routes good luck intercepting them before they do that ritual that takes ages to finish and come back down. The targets also suffer from being too close to eachother, it’s almost pointless. At least there’s some cool challenges, I’m pretty sure you can use a sniper rifle on a gas canister from the other side of the hotel and get SA but don’t quote me on that.
Freedom Fighters/Colorado - 1/5
The entire location is garbage, I’ve played some pretty neat contracts but overall it’s a boring place whether you’re in the main mission or not. Rose and Graves have decent routes but Berg and Parvati are terrible targets. Sure you can manipulate them if you’re doing suit only but that requires a lot of movement and stealthing via an area that’s hostile to you without a disguise. Almost everything interesting is given to either Rose or Graves, which makes me think this would probably be a lot more fun as a mission if Berg and Parvati were just used as people for those two to interact with as part of their route or mission stories. It’s a very flat map with lots of walking, WoA 2’s maps have a large amount of movement too but they have shortcuts and verticality to remain engaging. Easily the worst map of the trilogy.
The Vector - 3/5
The map lost a lot of its flow with the WoA 2 changes to explosions, but it’s still a pretty fun, frantic mission with random targets to spice things up. It’s also go bushes and accidents everywhere leading to a lot of flexibility, even if you use up a kill there’s always more nearby since the targets can be pretty much anywhere - even clumped together - which is randomness done right considering the short long of the mission.
Situs Inversus/Hokkaido - 4/5
Pretty good mission and a great location. Erich has tons of ways to kill him despite not even being an NPC and more of an objective according to the logic of the engine, and Yuki has a pretty good route with lots of variance, my favourite kill method being sniping her in her private area of the restaurant. I discovered it recently, usually no one sees her. I would say the level design is better than the target design, which is good because Hokkaido is a great jumping off point for secondary content.
Patient Zero - 4/5
This is a great experimental mission. Like Vector but on a larger scale this mission could go different every time. The Virus means anyone in the mission could become an additional target and your playstyle can vary from subtle and sneaky to panicked to mass murderer depending on how much you fuck up or don’t handle the virus effectively. I’d say that WoA 1’s version was a little bit better, I think WoA 2 changed something about like guard placement or just general glitchyness which can make it a pain sometimes. Hopefully H3 fixes it.
Hokkaido Snow Festival - 2/5
This was a free mission made for WoA2 so I’m not going to shit on it too hard, but it’s not very good. It’s overall way too easy to finish this level in under a minute by starting as the ninja, going to the helicopter, shooting an icicle over the target and leaving immediately. That creativity I love about Hitman isn’t really encouraged here, which is a problem with bonus missions in general but it’s at its most pronounced here.
2 God-tier Levels 2 Missions
3 Good-to-Great Levels 5 Missions
1 Average-to-Good Level 6 Missions
0 Bad-to-Mediocre Level 2 Missions
1 Really Bad Level 1 Mission
0 Horrible Missions
For the WoA games I’ve split up levels and missions in the totals. I think it gives a better indication of the quality of each game. WoA part 1 is a good start for this new style but I feel it suffers from inconsistent level design. While Part 2 can feel like they played it safe by basing the design philosophy off of Sapienza for almost every location, WoA 1 has some levels with outright sloppy design like Bangkok, wasted space or locations that are just plain bad. Something the sequel fixes and more.
WoA2 (2018):
Nightcall/Hawke’s Bay - 3/5
Hawke’s Bay really suffers from one exit and a mandatory objective. If you could exit via a car or if some guards were posted at the house before you got in it’d make the rest of the mission up to par with the actual assassination of Alma, which is great but unfortunately a small part of the mission. It’s a neat little puzzle box location ruined by some forced tutorialisation and sloppy story integration.
The Finish Line/Miami - 5/5
The perfect Hitman level. Everything from the geometry to the target routes is perfect. Hitman levels have a problem where sometimes one target is better than the other, this is one of those rare exceptions where both targets are equally fantastic with a balance between scripted kills and having a route that’s ripe for manipulation and creating your own kills even without doing so.
A Silver Tongue - 2/5
As good as Miami is it can’t save this boring target. His route is a small triangle which is a giant missed opportunity when he’s right next to bar area which is mostly unused in the main mission.
3-Headed Serpent/Colombia - 4/5
I’ve made an effort recently to play this level a whole bunch because it used to be my least favourite. I think after really getting familiar with it this is one of the times the rating system used in Blood Money and the new games really lets down a great location. There are cool ways to snipe the Rico and Jorge, poison Jorge with a cocaine brick, blow Andrea up and kill Jorge in the bushes that make this level so much more fun to play, but the rating system discourages bodies found or collateral accident which instead force you to do a lot of walking to each target to get up close and personal. I like how interconnected and intricate everything is, but I don’t like being forced to use that every time I play. It should be a rare luxury rather than a require part of dealing with the level.
Embrace of the Serpent - 1/5
Terrible terrible terrible. A target with a shit route in a small area that’s “repurposed” by just covering it in guards. Not to mention the missed opportunity of making the target a poacher but not giving us a way to make an animal kill him, when there’s an animal in the main mission that can kill a target. For shame, IO.
Chasing a Ghost/Mumbai - 5/5
Another God-tier level and an atmospheric masterpiece. The Maelstrom has one of the best routes in the series and the other two aren’t so shabby either, with ways to get them out of their fortresses for manual kills like the smoke and the laundry foreman. Having a target not locatable via instinct is so cool, and the Maelstrom goes places I don’t expect him to sometimes. It fits his character that his behaviour is as mysterious and varied as he is, leading to lots of ways to kill him. The only problems level design wise I have other than the rating system is the fact that there’s no big area you can climb up to survey and snipe the whole area due to its weird horizontal layout, and there’s lots of disguise swapping that doesn’t make sense. Why can’t I go into the Crows’ hideout as Vanya’s guard? They’re on the same side. The mission also has mission stories with lots of variance and experimentation, which wouldn’t save the mission if it did have bad routes and experimentation without that but it’s the cherry on top to have scripted kills that can feel unscripted with how you do them. Like suit only Kashmirian strategies, poisoning Dawood’s glass as the actor or using the script opportunity to blow him up in the bathroom. And not to mention that Dawood Rangan is one of the best targets in the series personality wise. He’s so awesome.
Illusions of Grandeur - 2/5
Basil Carnaby’s route is actually not bad, making the chawed a hostile area is kinda neat but all that is thrown out the window when the dude offers to hypnotise you. He takes you upstairs alone, you jab a poison syringe in his back then you leave the level. I don’t know what IO was thinking. What a waste of a pretty reskin of Mumbai.
Another Life/Whittleton Creek - 5/5
A brilliant sequel to A New Life. The clues thing can get old but I won’t let that get in the way of two fantastic targets. Nolan’s route is filled with accidents whilst Janus can be lured out of his home with a couple of coin throws, even then I would say Janus’ house in general I would single out as being one of the best single areas of gameplay in the trilogy. Guard placement, security cameras and enforcer choice is perfect.
A Bitter Pill - 3/5
This mission’s okay. It’s basically just a full level version of Janus’ house but security is way too easy to get past. If they just locked the basement door this mission would be so much better.
The Ark Society/Isle of Sgail - 4/5
Mediocre targets let down some fantastic vertical level design. Sgail is very fun to stealth through and explore but the Washington twins are kind of boring compared to Janus from the previous mission. They’re not outright bad, there’s lots of non-story kills you can do since they’re highly manipulatable, but their routes are usually taken through crowds and take to long to get to those areas. It’s great for Contracts mode however, with the most markable NPCs of any level, in fact the Constant has a pretty good route which is unfortunate since the whole point of the level is NOT to kill him.
Golden Handshake/New York - 3/5
Great level geometry that’s fun to sneak around, this level is also great for Contracts mode, but I feel the actual objective while fun is mostly there to make up for a mediocre target route. You can kill Athena anywhere anyway with some knock outs or items so manipulating her to go someplace else to try new kills isn’t that attractive an option. Plus her route is very short.
The Last Resort/Haven Island - 4/5
This is one of my favourites level design wise, all three targets have enjoyable routes with even Tyson being manipulatable via coins to get him out to his balcony. However what kills the levels for me is the viewcones. To give some context IOI decided to change sightlines for NPCs just for this level in order to accommodate the wide beaches of the map. As it wouldn’t make sense for a guy not to see you jogging on an empty beach you’re not supposed to be if he’s looking into the distance. This was a terrible idea and means you’re never sure when you’re going to be seen doing something or not. I understand the reasoning but some areas like the villa were clearly designed for smaller viewcones, and I think consistency of mechanics trumps realism any day.
The Last Yardbird/Austria - 3/5
The first of WoA 2’s three sniper missions. It’s decent but due to it being the first they made it’s a bit too simple and becomes very repetitive on replays. Most target manipulations are cryptic and slow, and a larger problem with Sniper Assassin is due to it being a shooting gallery you tend to just pick one strategy that works and stick with it, you don’t tend to experiment like you do the main game.
Pen & the Sword/Hantu Port - 3/5
This one is my least favourite of the sniper maps. While manipulations this time are faster and simpler the map being so wide and open means you’re going to get caught when you don’t think you should’ve. I played all three sniper maps again recently and this was the one I gave up getting silent assassin with. The strat I usually used for grinding just didn’t work consistently like the ones for Himmelstein and Siberia
Crime & Punishment/Siberia - 4/5
This is the one where they finally go it right. Crime and Punishment is a legitimately great mission, sniper or otherwise. The riot mechanic gives way to a lot of variance and experimentation that actually consistently works, there’s lots of ways to change target routes in subtle ways that make sense (like killing a guard that was meant to get someone for the target, so the target walks over there himself) and the design isn’t so wide bodies are getting found left and right. Whether you’re starting a riot or playing it quiet it’s an excellent Hitman-style shooting gallery.
3 God-tier Levels 3 Missions
4 Good-to-Great Levels 4 Missions
4 Average-to-Good Level 5 Mission
0 Bad-to-Mediocre Level 2 Missions
0 Really Bad Levels 1 Mission
0 Horrible Missions
As you can see where Hitman 2 excels in pure level design it flops hard when it comes to the bonus missions. Hitman 2 is still my favourite game in the series, I’m very biased towards it and its specific levels, but I’m not close minded and I hope IO can take the little failures and huge successes of Hitman 2 and deliver the magnum opus of the series with upcoming third part of WoA.
And that means the totals for the whole franchise are (and if you want to correspond this to a tier list it basically means S, A, B, D, E, and F, respectively):
12 God-Tier Missions
29 Good-to-Great Missions
21 Average-to-Good Missions
8 Bad-to-Mediocre Missions
5 Really Bad Missions
1 Horrible Mission
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