#that fucking tiktok is haunting me
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czy masz kabanoUsa?.. czy lubisz KABANOuSY??...
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just saw someone call skk nonbiological siblings....
#horrible day to have eyes#i dont even use tiktok that much and the stans there haunt me#I SAW THIS ON FUCKING TWT OK i cant i can't
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I wanna go to appalachia just to see what the fuck is going on over there
#i would absolutely love to believe that those mountains are fucking haunted by things older than trees but unfortunately.#seems kinda farfetched!#i wanna go over there and see if anything fucked up happens to me#sorry but i just don't believe y'all's tiktok storytimes about how something's whistling at you or whatever#maybe i wanna see a skinwalker. maybe i do!#honestly i'm just jealous that they allegedly have some cool shit going on whilst i live in the most normal forest known to man#the most fucked up thing that happens here is when a boar comes down behind the house#or when you're walking home drunk at three am in complete darkness and a buck starts screaming lmao#rayrambles
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oooh this shit just pissed me off
#like what the fuck is y’all’s problem#super disrespectful to fanfic writers#im a writer myself that still has unfinished fics#if this happens to one of my fics im haunting ur ass down#and would probably delete some works#but please dont do this shit#no writer deserves this#the girl in this tiktok is pissing me off#like does any smart thing run through ur head???#ig not if you have to rely on ai 😭😭😭
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istg if i see another goddamn tiktok of "age accurate [insert random fandom]" i will delete the app
#age accurate natasha & yelena with pics from young florence pugh have been haunting me for weeks now#ohhh and i saw age accurate hunger games once that was fucking awful#tiktok trends#age accurate characters#fandom#marvel#tiktok#avengers#harry potter#marauders#hunger games#amy talks
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I slept so bad last night bc I got all hung up on family issues and couldn't sleep bc my brain would not shut up and today just feels WEIRD ouughhh
#Eli shoosh#A couple weeks ago I casually said that my parents would not fucking like me if we weren't related and its been haunting me#bc it's REAL and the more I think about it the harder it hits.#and my mom keeps sending me these stupid tiktoks about being besties with your daughter and I want to scream#Because we AREN'T besties. You're such a shitty person and You don't like me as a person.#Also the fact that I've come out and she still calls me daughter. I don't feel like she understands what being trans even MEANS.#And I don't have the capacity to have that conversation with her bc I know it'll turn it to her pointing fingers and making accusations
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Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist & post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people. If you're not on spotify, just share ten songs that you have on repeat.
screech's tale - ren
prologue - ren
what was i made for - billie eillish
this river between us - big fish the musical
jenny's tale - ren
just a man - epic the musical : the troy saga
the gold -- phoebe bridgers version - manchester orcestra, phoebe bridgers
daughter of the sea ( lullaby ) - sharm
haunted ( taylor's version ) - taylor swift
the torture tango - spies are forever
Tagged by: @sleazeballtm !
Tagging: @fearstouch , @andessence , @lazaruhs , @mvndrvke , & @butnobodyhome !
#what a hot fucking mess. if you want to be walked through this though i rambled below about my wild music taste laskdfjdl speedy pre WORK#bottom to top ; spies verse with steph my BELOVED i gotta do something in it#haunted was ( and still is ) one of my fav tswift songs and i wanted to relisten to it the other day ( and did for several hours )#daughter of the sea belongs to the love of my life jester lavorre#the gold was a song i found on nerdy prudes tiktok that is in fact in a lot of steph's spotify playlist#the fucking LYRICS of just a man fuck me up okay ( 'when does a man become a monster' )#the shuffle said i will expose you for liking ren and you know what. that's fine alkdjflksj#ren has a song cycle that i love right now#i'm just going to say it. big fish the musical slaps. thank you#.... don't look at number three i was in fact writing sad things i wanted sad SONG#{ OOC }#{ TAGGED }
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But I dont wanna watch James Sunderland getting babygirlified on tiktok like every other popular dude video game protagonist this year...
#sitting here with a haunted look on my face#i need to delete tiktok right now#but the problem is itll follow to tumblr#dont get me wrong i fucking love 2 and i think james is fascinating#but please for the love of gd he SUCKS#HES AWFUL HES GENUINELY A SHIT GUY IF YOU PLAY THE GAME AND THINK HES A HERO YOURE INSANE#PROTAGONIST AND HERO ARE NOT THE SAME THING
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yknow i said i’d write today
i proceeded to not even touch obsidian.
woopsie? woopsie.
#haunted ecosystem#i probably should've seen this coming#but i didn't#sooooo purgatory for me#this chapter is kicking my ass and i need to finish this one AND the next one#then i can start working on this one thing & also the writing event i had the brilliant idea of signing up for.#maybe two things at once was a mistake#also im having a fucking crisis i turn 17 next month. what the hell. what the fuck man#also all my music and playlists. i want to explode them they are not vibing rn#i cant even just peruse tiktok to find random new songs bc its all just the same shit rn#and also it keeps trying to get me to engage with hate content and i hate that more than the music issues lol#but also it keeps showing me chickens & general poultry farming content and that's cool :)#saw a vid of somebody butchering a chicken a bit ago and that was rlly cool tbh#to be fair i was planning to sprint with virgil but#he randomly entered purgatory (went offline) and also there's somebody over rn#so i cannot process the world normally#that's enough haunt for one post
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#okAy so i'm not going to finish writing it i lack the skill n talent but i Must get this out there it's haunting me#i know rpf freaks some ppl out in which case why are u following me i literally made this blog bc i wrote so much goddamn rpf#but anyways. fair warning in advance. n i will delete this once i stop being insane blah blah blah#but god. just obsessed with piarlesteban ideas rn. with charles watching all the alpine stuff we're seeing trickling out now and like#the bittersweet feeling that comes with watching someone you love succeed at the cost of them potentially moving on without you#at least when pierre and esteban weren't talking it wasn't a constant reminder that Technically he's not pierre's oldest friend on the grid#that while he Technically thinks he knows pierre best. he wasnt one of those kids from normandy#is it jealousy? is it fear? is it something else?#after all if he called pierre 'pierrot' on main and started posting tiktoks with how important their friendship is#it would be smth f1 reposts and takes everywhere and makes a situation out of. but esteban can do it naturally.#him not wanting pierre and esteban to fall out again because truly he Does love them both albeit in very different ways because they *did*#all grow up together. but then if they do. he doesn't have to worry about if pierre starts to hesitate more when he's asked who he's#closest to. who his best friend is. doesn't have to worry#plus. plus plus. add in the context of it mirroring /pierre/ feeling like he got left behind while charles#blazed trails in his top team and pierre went back to his junior team who try as they might could never give him that wdc#sorry ive just been listening to smile like you mean it on repeat. and like#and someone is playing a game in the house i grew up in. and someone will drive her around on the same streets that i did#i CAN and i WILL make this about them#esp because im already deep in copium#YO the fact i can edit tags now. fucking SEXY!
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a few years ago I was p certain a regular customer of mine knew one of my sisters but was too scared to ask (social anxiety) so I decided to like search her on facebook to see if she was friends with my sister when I got off work and so my plan was to look up first name last name and then see from there and before I could even finish typing her name the suggested search result was “first name, last name and my sisters name” and I’ve never been more spooked by social media more than I have in that moment because how did it know? how did it do that? it can’t even be said “oh your phone hears/reads everything” because I hadn’t mentioned that I was gonna see if this person knew my sister irl or online to anyone .
#whimsy whispers#it haunts me it absolutely haunts me how did it do that???#I remember texting my friends like wtf wtf wtf#not to sound like a conspiracy theorist or something like that because idk what the theory would even be?#is mark facebook in my fucking head?#so like tiktok showing me stuff I’ve talked about irl or online doesn’t faze me as much as this#yes it’s bad obvs but at least tiktok isn’t in my head somehow#it’s like I know I sound crazy but this happened and I think about it sometimes it’s been like three or so years
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today i learned once again that fanfic writers are sometimes - nay often - 100x better than published authors
#currently slogging thru what i THOUGHT was a dark romance about a woman falling in love with her stalker#(bc uh... i have issues lol)#and yeah it was m/f which really stopped interesting me in books for the most part#but also the book is just so bad#and it sucks bc tiktok made it sound so good#and all i have to say to that is the more folks need to read fucking fanfic#eloquently put love#bri's adventures thru literature#it's haunting adaline if anyone was curious#it's not good
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daily reminder to NEVER FUCKING POST PHOTOS NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE
#god some of y’all have NO self-preservation when it comes to online privacy#even your first name can be a risk. people can and WILL find everything they can about you so make sure you protect yourself#for the love of god delete accounts you don’t use anymore#don’t put your face where you say dumb shit you may later regret. i saw a tiktok of one of my friends jokingly saying kys about discourse#THAT SHIT WILL NOT FLY IN 10 YEARS. not to sound like a gen xer BUT IT WILL HAUNT YOU#never give out your insta to people you meet online if it has your face and location#please please please do not tie your art to both your irl and your online self unless you are prepared to face it in 10 years#don’t put your last name anywhere. if you need to give one use one of a relative. preferably one that’s common#my last name is ridiculously rare so you’ll never see me post about it#don’t fucking put your name anywhere online if you’re a registered voter in the us because YOUR ADDRESS IS PUBLIC#your BIRTH RECORDS ARE PUBLIC. your MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE RECORDS ARE PUBLIC#if you can find anything remotely incriminating on whitepages just do a full wipe of your socials and start again#i’m begging y’all please be careful. and if you ARE planning to meet someone you know online#make sure you always have as much if not more info about them as they do about you#i know it sounds shitty but always have some kind of leverage because situations like that can go bad fast#also be careful of which irls you talk about to online people because you don’t want to put them at risk accidentally#i’m screaming from the rooftops THIS GENERATION HAS NO STANDARD OF PRIVACY. it’s fucking terrifying#michi.txt
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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I thought when I was a kid I’d always have my brothers and I’d make something out of myself. 0 for 2 bud wrap it up
#uh ignore this I saw a sad tiktok#but seriously never thinking oh what will I do if they’re gone#because that’s not how it works#people don’t just die they live a long time#and they especially dont die the way he did#it’s not fair#deleted my tags I love having memories yayyyyy#I love having irrepairable trauma that haunts me every day#yayyyyyyyyy#and the bullshit people say when I’m sad about it#“you should be grateful for the time you had”#yeah? why don’t you bury your brother and see how fucking grateful you’d be#use your fucking brain
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something that really haunts me about tiktok speak is a couple years ago i was in one of the worst places ive ever been in mental health wise and, after several attempts, nearly succeeded in killing myself and one day i told someone that and she kind of stared at me and then went "you tried to... unalive yourself?" and it made me stop fully in my tracks bc it kind of. shook me to my core how she tried to sanitize my fucking suicide attempt. anyway my point here is that if you cant say suicide you are a fucking pussy and need to grow up
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