#yeah? why don’t you bury your brother and see how fucking grateful you’d be

[spikeyjo]

I thought when I was a kid I’d always have my brothers and I’d make something out of myself. 0 for 2 bud wrap it up

[hyogonokitsune]

blush -- suna rintarou x reader

here’s some soft suna smut, go fetch!

edit: here’s pt 2 and pt 3

virginity loss, slight praise kink, oral (f receiving), whoops! rintarou has feelings

4700 words

--

You were not quite sure how you all ended up on this topic, but it didn’t surprise you one bit that Atsumu was the one to bring it up.

“So how old were ya when ya lost it?” he asked with a grin on his face.

Suna glanced up at the sky as he thought about his answer. “Fourteen, I guess.”  

“Ugh, man! You beat me!” Atsumu groaned in annoyance. “I was fifteen.” It was slight, but you caught Suna giving him a self-satisfied smirk. Atsumu turned to his brother next. “What about you, ‘Samu? I don’t think I ever asked.”

“Pfft, like hell I’d ever tell you,” was the only response he gave.

The four of you were walking through Inarizaki’s dark campus together after the team’s evening practice. It was early autumn, and although the days were still warm, the temperature at night was beginning to dip lower and lower. You shivered as a crisp breeze blew past, digging your hands further into your jacket pockets.

“What about you, y/n?” Atsumu asked, peering down at you. “How old were ya?”

You had hoped he’d forgotten about you, but now that he had directly asked you could feel your cheeks reddening slightly. “I, uh, I haven’t done it yet,” you answered sheepishly.

“What, seriously?! You’re a virgin?” Atsumu’s eyes widened in surprise, but they quickly squinched shut when Osamu smacked him on the back of the head.

“Yell it a bit louder, why don’t ya? I don’t think everyone on campus heard you, dumbass.”

“Ouch, sorry,” Atsumu muttered in apology, but your blush had already deepened. “I’m just a little shocked to learn that our precious manager is a virgin.”

“It’s not really that big of a deal, honestly,” Suna said, his voice low. It was a little unusual to hear him defend anyone, but you were grateful for it all the same.

“Ya know, y/n, if ya ever wanna lose your virginity, I’d be happy to help out,” Atsumu said, giving you a salacious smirk. You rolled your eyes at his offer, a small laugh escaping from your lips as you flicked him on the side of his head.

The path split then, and Suna turned left to continue on by himself to the campus dorms. He waved goodnight to the three of you, and you noticed that his eyes lingered on you for half a second too long before he turned away.

 --

 Click, click, click

Your thumb pressed repeatedly on the end of your pen as you stared hard at the words in front of you.

“Hey, knock it off.” You looked up at the sound of Suna’s voice, his irritation plain on his face. “It’s annoying.”

The two of you were sitting on the floor of his room, Suna propped up against his bed and you leaning against the opposite wall. Loose sheets of paper and an open textbook were on the floor between you as you both studied for an exam the next day.

“Sorry, I didn’t even realize I was doing it,” you muttered, turning your attention back to Suna’s notebook on your lap. You were reading through it, checking that there wasn’t anything he had written down that you had missed in class. In truth, you were finding it hard to concentrate on the notes, as something else was nagging at your thoughts. You hadn’t been able to shake the conversation you’d had the other night, and despite Atsumu’s suggestion, he wasn’t the one you had been thinking about since then.

You had heard rumors around campus, and stories from some of the girls in your classes. At first it had made you a little uncomfortable to know such personal details about someone you had to see every day, especially since he wasn’t aware that you knew, but over time you gradually got used to it, and you were beginning to wonder about what it might be like to experience that firsthand. You were sure that it wouldn’t get out. After all, those rumors that you had heard had come from the girls themselves, never him; if you didn’t tell anyone, no one would ever have to know about it. Besides, after two and a half years spent on the same team, you two had grown rather close. There were few people that you could trust more than him, and, in your opinion at least, that was the most important factor influencing your decision.

You just had to think of a way to tell him.

Suna’s low voice cut through the silence in the room. “Maaan, I’m beat. What time is it?” he asked, stretching his arms over his head.

You glanced at your watch, sighing a bit when you saw how late it was. “Half past ten.”

“Fuck.” He rubbed at his eyes. “I think we’ve crammed as much as we possibly can for tonight.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you replied as you stood up. The two of you started tidying up his room, and you gathered your books and pens into your bag.

“You want me to walk you to the bus stop?”

“No, I’ll be alright.”

“’Kay.”

You had your hand on the doorknob, ready to leave, but you found yourself unable to turn it.

“Suna?”

“Hmm?” he hummed, and when he turned to look at you, you felt an unexpected surge of confidence well up inside. If you didn’t tell him now, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to.

Dropping your hand from the doorknob, you angled your shoulders to face him head on, willing yourself to look him in the eye. “I want you to take my virginity.”

There was a slight widening of his eyes, almost imperceptible, but you caught it before his face fell back into its usual indifferent mask. There was a moment or two of silence, and you tried to keep yourself from panicking; maybe he was just trying to gauge how serious you were.

Eventually he spoke, the corner of his lip quirking up into a cheeky grin. “You sure you don’t want Atsumu to be the one?”

You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling. “I think I’d rather die, if I’m being honest.”

Suna laughed then, short but genuine, and you felt the tension ease from your shoulders. “I’ll do it, if that’s really what you want.”

You gave him a quick nod, hand reaching towards the door again.

“Come back here tomorrow.”

 --

 You knocked twice on Suna’s door and it opened almost immediately. He must have just recently gotten out of the shower because his hair was still damp, a droplet of water clinging to a lock of hair next to his cheek as he stared down at you.

“I was half-expecting you not to show up,” he said, a slight smile on his lips.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you asked as you squeezed past him to step into the room; he offered no response.

You dropped your bag and blazer onto his desk chair, and when you turned around Suna had moved into the center of the room, within arm’s reach.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” There was an uncharacteristic note of concern in his voice that made your heart melt.

You gave a slight nod, a small smile on your face. “I’m sure.”

Those two words were all he needed.

Suna closed the gap between you in one step. His left hand came to rest on your waist, his right moving up to cup your cheek as he leaned down to place his lips on yours. His kiss was unexpectedly soft, and you couldn’t stop a tiny gasp from escaping you in surprise. This wasn’t a Suna that you were familiar with; this was a Suna that was unbelievably tender with his touch, but you could feel a more passionate side simmering just beneath the surface by the way that his fingers ever so slowly applied pressure to your waist.

Unconsciously, your hands moved first to his shoulders, then to the back of his head, where your fingers buried themselves in his damp hair. Your touch encouraged him to draw you in closer, his arm snaking around your waist to press you against his body. His kisses were becoming firmer now, deeper, more urgent, his tongue slipping past your lips to brush against yours.

A feeling of warmth was in your chest now, spreading down throughout your body, and with it came a sudden feeling of uncertainty. Suna broke away from you and stepped back to sit on the edge of his bed, and the sight of him there suddenly stole away all the confidence you had felt earlier.

“Come here,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. The sound of it made your legs feel weak, but you forced yourself to step towards him. His hands moved to your hips, intending to pull you closer, but you put your palms on his shoulders to brace yourself.

“Wait a minute,” you said, a little breathless.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” Your voice trailed off and you swallowed hard. “I’m just a little nervous.”

You were embarrassed to admit it, but to your surprise Suna smiled, and the gentleness on his face was reassuring. “Yeah, I think it’s normal to be a little nervous.” One of his hands left your hip to move to your elbow. His fingers dragged lightly down your forearm and wrapped around your wrist, so that he could lift your hand and press it against his chest. “I’m a little nervous, too.” You could feel his heart against your palm, beating a little faster and harder than normal. The proof of his own anxiety made all of your apprehensions disappear, and you leaned down to kiss him. Before he could deepen it, you broke away again.

“Suna?”

“Hmm?”

“Could we turn the light off?”

“Of course,” he grinned, leaning over to switch off the lamp on his bedside table.

The room became dark, but the sun had only recently dipped below the horizon and your eyes quickly adjusted to the cold blue light coming in through the window. Suna’s body was outlined against the bed, his features hazy in the dim lighting, but his eyes were clear as he gazed up at you, imploring you to come closer.

He guided you down onto his lap, one of his hands on each of your thighs to place them at his sides. His kisses were needier now, almost hungry in the way that his mouth moved against yours. His hands slid up to rest on your hips once more, and when he slowly tugged them closer, dragging you over his hardening cock, you couldn’t stop the moan that bubbled up from your chest. You could feel him grinning against your lips, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed, not when the feeling of his body under your hands was causing that heat to grow in your core.

“Does that feel good, baby?” Suna asked, his voice breathy and low. A blush crept up your face at his words, the tone of them so much more intimate than anything you’d heard before. You grinded against him again, causing him to moan lightly into your mouth.

Your hands slid down to press against his chest, fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. He paused kissing you just long enough to take his shirt off, tossing it onto the floor before grabbing your waist and drawing you in even closer. Tentatively, you brought your hands back to his chest. The heat of his skin, the pounding of his heart, his heavy breaths emboldened you, prompting you to explore more of his body. Your fingers traveled lightly over his chest, across his collarbones, onto his shoulders, across the back of his neck, down to his shoulder blades; every place you touched gave way to growing desire.

Suna’s hands wandered up your stomach and over your breasts to undo the buttons of your blouse, but he couldn’t undo them fast enough for you; you suddenly couldn’t stand another moment with the fabric between you, you needed to feel your skin pressed up against his now. Your fingers moved to the bottom of your blouse and quickly worked their way upwards, meeting his in the middle before tearing the shirt from your body.

His eyes roamed over you and he whispered something that you couldn’t quite hear. Before you could say anything, his head moved to your neck, pressing hot kisses into your skin, down the column of your throat and over your collarbones. The top of his head tickled under your chin, making you giggle; his lips left your shoulder with a wet sound as he turned his face up to look at you, but you dug your nails into his arms and whimpered at the loss of his touch.

“Please don’t stop,” you breathed.

Suna gripped you tightly around your waist to lift you off of him and shift you so you were lying down on the bed, his body leaning over you. Pulling one of your legs up so that he could position himself between them, he resumed kissing your neck, his warm breath tickling your ear. His hands worked their way down your sides, a trail of goosebumps left in their wake, to come to rest at the waistband of your skirt. He lifted his head to kiss you on the lips briefly before carefully tugging your skirt down over your hips and off your legs. His eyes lingered on your purple lace panties, moved up to your matching bra, and finally to meet your own gaze.

“These are cute,” he said with a smirk, one finger lifting up the band of your panties and letting it snap against your skin.

“Shut up,” you groaned, covering your blushing face with your arm.

“Did you match these just for me?” he teased.

“I said shut up, Rintarou!”

You heard a sharp intake of breath, and lowered your arm to see that the look on his face had shifted into completely unconstrained desire. He kissed you then, tongue forcing its way into your mouth, greedily swallowing your moans. You could feel yourself getting wetter as he pressed his cock in-between your legs; the sensation was becoming almost too much to bear.

Suna pulled away suddenly, and a thin strand of saliva briefly connected your mouths, glinting in the low light. “Hey, do you want me to wear a condom?” he asked, rubbing his thumb slowly over your bottom lip.

“Oh!” You were lying in his bed half naked, and his tongue had just been in your mouth, but for some reason that question made you feel shy all of a sudden. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I’m, uh… I’m on the pill,” you told him, feeling your cheeks heat up again. He only nodded once before leaning in to kiss you again.

One of his hands slowly slid up your side to your breast, his thumb rubbing over your nipple through the fabric of your bra. When he broke the kiss to move his lips to your neck, you leaned forward slightly to unhook your bra, tossing it on the floor with the rest of your clothes. Suna sucked in a breath at the sight of you, gazing at you almost reverently before placing his lips back on your throat, letting his hand blindly fondle your breast. Moving slowly, he made his way down your throat and over your collarbones, planting sloppy kisses every few inches, until his tongue was swirling small circles around your nipple, feeling it grow harder at his touch. At the same time, his other hand was pressing into your hip, fingers digging insistently into the soft flesh. That hand now started moving down over the outside of your thigh, pausing almost at the knee before running back up along the inside.

You gasped when he touched your clothed pussy for the first time, his fingers brushing against your clit through the fabric. You would have felt embarrassed at the wetness you felt seeping through your panties, but the feeling of having him touch you in so many places was too good for you to care. He was rubbing circles around your clit, causing a knot to form deep in your stomach. You reached with both hands into his hair, gripping the back of his head tightly as a pitiful whimper escaped you.

“Oh, Rintarou…”

“What is it, baby?” He leaned forward to plant a kiss on your cheek, his hand still working slowly between your legs. “What do you need?”

Another pitiful sound left your mouth and your nails dug into his shoulders. He sat up straight, his free hand coming to rest on your leg as his other continued to draw soft moans out of you.

A new feeling had settled in your chest, a need that you had never experienced before. It wasn’t enough to have him simply touch you; you needed to feel him inside of you.

“Rin, please,” you practically begged him, reaching towards the waistband of his sweatpants.

He gently pushed your hands away, a low chuckle rising in his throat. “You’re not ready yet, baby,” he told you in a soft voice. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Groaning, you fell back into the pillow, your breath coming out harder as he started kissing the inside of your thigh, slowly, painfully slowly, moving closer to where the heat was pooling between your legs. Both of his hands now hooked under your thighs to rest on top of your hip bones, pinning you in place. He kept his eyes on your face as his tongue ran almost lazily over your panties.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, head tilting back and eyes squeezing shut.

“You’re already so wet,” he murmured, and you could hear the smile in his voice. He was still licking you agonizingly slowly, relishing the way you squirmed around him. “Do you want me to taste you, baby?”

“Mm hmm,” you answered, a little too quickly in your eagerness to have him touch more of you. He moved one of his hands to hook a finger under your panties, pulling them to the side to reveal your glistening pussy.

His mouth was on your bare clit now, and the sensation was overwhelming. It was different from all the times you had pleasured yourself; this was warm and wet and achingly soft, and it was causing the coil in your stomach to rapidly tighten. He hummed lightly, the vibrations running over your clit and causing you to practically scream. When he lifted his face away from you, you nearly cried. He slid your panties down your legs and tossed them on the floor, leaving you completely bare before him.

Suna leaned back down, tongue running up and down your folds, swirling around your clit, kissing all over your pussy. Every single contact made your back arch, made your hands grip the sheets a little more tightly. He traced a finger along the edge of your pussy, gathering up the wetness before slowly pressing it into you. You clenched around him as his finger curled up to press into the soft spot within you, the spot that made your breath catch in your throat. You opened your eyes to look down at him; his mouth and finger were still at work on your pussy, but his gaze was trained on your face, sage-colored eyes glinting in the dark.

The coil in your stomach finally snapped, your orgasm falling over you in waves of intense pleasure. Your toes curled, legs tensed up around his head, hands reached down to wind into his soft hair.

“Rin-Rintarou!”

Suna kept his face pressed into your pussy, sucking gently on your clit as you came around his finger. The overstimulation was becoming too much, and your breath was coming out in labored sobs.

“Rin, p-please, stop!”

Immediately, he pulled away, crawling over your body to kiss you hard on the mouth. “I like the way you taste, cutie,” he sighed into your ear, nuzzling at your neck. “And I love the way you moan for me.”

You were panting, still coming down from your high. Suna’s hand came up to caress your face, thumb rubbing gently over your cheekbones. He waited for your breathing to even out before sitting up to remove his pants. You couldn’t help but stare at the way his cock looked; you had no reference point, but you were pretty sure he was above average.

He lazily stroked his cock with one hand as he shifted your legs with the other, positioning himself close to your entrance. He dragged the head over your pussy, coating it with the wetness there.

Suna was looking straight at you again. “Are you ready?” he asked, his voice breathless.

“Yes,” you told him. He leaned down to plant one more kiss on your lips, before slowly pressing his cock into you.

All the time he spent pleasuring you already ensured that you were relaxed enough to take him, but even so, he went slow. He sank in a few inches before pausing, allowing you to adjust to his size as he peppered your face with kisses, before giving you some more. It took a full minute before he completely joined his hips to yours, a soft groan escaping his lips.

“Are you okay, baby?” he asked, his voice impossibly soft.

“Yeah.” You gave him a small smile, hands running up the backs of his arms to rest on his shoulder blades. It felt so incredibly good to finally have him inside you, to fill you up completely. There had been a slight pressure when he first entered you, but that was subsiding now, and you could fully enjoy the way his cock stretched you out.

Suna pulled his hips away from you, his cock dragging slowly along your sensitive walls. The loss of him drew a soft whimper out of you, turning into a moan when he pushed back in. His pace was unhurried at first, but with each breathy sigh you made he increased his speed, pulling out a little further each time.

“Rin, oh, oh…”

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” he moaned, lips capturing yours in a wet kiss. “You feel so good, baby.”

He bent down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth with just enough pressure to make your spine arch, fingers gripping his shoulders tightly to let him know that you wanted more.

“Rin, I-I… oh god-”

He straightened back up so he could look into your face, his thumb and forefinger continuing to play with your nipple. “Does that feel good?” he asked in a low voice. You nodded, eyes squeezed tight against the pleasure, and another soft whimper left your throat. “You’re taking my cock so well, baby,” he murmured; you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten at his praise. “Do you want more?”

“Yes, please, please…”

He quickened his pace even more, hips snapping into yours hard enough now to apply deliciously pleasant friction to your clit. You couldn’t have stopped the sounds leaving your mouth even if you wanted to; every thrust of his cock made you come undone a little more. The pleasure radiated throughout your entire body, making you feel slightly lightheaded.

Suna placed both hands on the backs of your knees and lifted them, pressing your legs towards your chest. The new angle of your hips allowed his cock to press into that spot inside you that made your breath burn in your lungs. The feeling was unbelievable; you had never felt pleasure like this before.

Your eyes snapped open. Suna was staring down, watching his cock sink repeatedly into your dripping wet pussy. When your hand gave his shoulder a small squeeze he looked up, eyes locking with yours. His face was etched with determination, all of his efforts going towards making you feel good. His cheeks were flushed pink, and his eyes contained something that you couldn’t quite place.

“Are you gonna cum for me, princess?” His voice was husky, gaze burning with desire.

“Yes, Rin, please don’t stop,” you breathed out between gasps.

He kept his pace consistent, hitting that sweet spot over and over and over again. Your nails were digging into his back, leaving tiny crescent-shaped indentations in his skin. The knot in your stomach was tightening, tightening, tightening—

“Rintarou!” you cried out as the second orgasm overtook you, breath catching in your chest. Your legs trembled under Suna’s hands as he kept fucking you through it, groaning as your pussy clenched around him.

He could feel himself getting closer. He slowed his pace, leaning over to press hard kisses into your neck as you came down from your high. When your breathing started to even out, his lips moved up over your jaw and to your mouth. You kissed him greedily, hands moving to entwine themselves in his hair.

“Where do you want me to cum?” he asked, voice slightly hoarse. He was still moving against you, cock pumping slowly in and out of your pussy.

“Ah… oh,” was all you could manage to squeak out.

“Hmm?” He nuzzled his nose against your neck, warm breath tickling your skin. “Where, baby?”

“Inside… I want you to cum inside me,” you whispered.

With a groan, Suna started thrusting into you harder again. The wetness between your legs was audible with each stroke of his cock, and the sound of it only made him come closer to the edge. The sensation against your clit was pushing you into overstimulation, tears springing up in the corners of your eyes from the sheer pleasure. You reached down with one hand to grasp at his thigh, nails digging into the muscles working to join him to you, desperately trying to pull him closer, closer.

“God, I’m so close…” he murmured, face held so near to yours that your noses bumped each time he pounded into you.

“Oh, you feel so good,” you moaned.

“Can you say my name, baby?” His voice was hardly above a whisper.

“Rin,” you sighed, and his hips snapped into you almost urgently. “Please cum, Rin, I want you to cum for me…”

He buried his face in your neck, groaning deeply as he came. “Fuck.” You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, hot cum spurting deep into your pussy.

He was still for a moment, breathing hard against your skin, before slowly pulling out and rolling over to lie beside you. You felt some of his cum drip out of you, blushing at the sensation. The two of you were silent for a while, your panting breaths the only sounds in the room.

“How was that?” Suna asked eventually, turning onto his side to face you. You suddenly found yourself unable to look at him, pressing your face instead into the crook of his neck and humming contentedly. He chuckled softly and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “I wasn’t too rough with you, was I?” he asked, an uncharacteristic note of concern in his voice.

“Not at all,” you told him. “I liked it.”

You fell silent again. With your body pressed up against his, you could feel the beat of his heart, slowly steadying from its rapid pace. His skin was so warm, and you didn’t even mind the slight sheen of sweat covering both your bodies. You took a breath, inhaling his scent; you couldn’t describe what he smelled like, you just knew that he smelled good.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but you must have been lying there for at least a quarter hour. You lifted your head to look at him and saw that his eyes were closed. Did he fall asleep?

“Rin?” you asked tentatively.

“Hmm?” His response was a low rumble in his chest; you could feel the vibrations against your palm. His eyes were still closed.

“Why were you nervous before?” You wriggled in his arms a bit, trying to get a better view of his face. “I mean, it wasn’t your first time.”

He opened his eyes, only to glance at you briefly before turning his head to look up at the ceiling. “It was my first time with you,” he mumbled, so soft you almost didn’t catch it.

With your hand still on his chest you could feel when his heart started beating faster. Peering at his face in the dark, you could have sworn you saw Suna Rintarou blush.

--

➣ masterlist

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 9) - Inner Demons

Summary: The reader meets Gen for the first time while the boys are having a day together. But when they come home early and Jensen overhears the reader, a very big discussion about what they both expect out of their relationship has to happen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Skinny Dipping

Word Count: 5,100ish

Warnings: mature (language, skinny dipping, implied future smut, angst, self-doubt)

A/N: Please enjoy! Also written for @spnkinkbingo​

________

“No,” whined Zeppelin as Jensen carried him out of the bedroom for the third time that night. “Daddy, I want to sleep with you.”

“Zeppelin. You gotta be a big boy and go to sleep. It’s midnight and way, way past bedtime,” said Jensen. He started to cry loudly and Jensen set him down. “Do you want a time out? I’ll give you one first thing in the morning if you don’t behave.”

He ran over to you and grabbed your leg, burying his face in it. Jensen sighed, tired after a long day and you knew he needed some sleep. You squatted down and Zeppelin grabbed at you, shaking a bit. You frowned, Jensen catching it as you picked up the little boy. 

“He can stay,” you said. Jensen made a face but you carried him into the room, Jensen grumbling to himself. You let Zeppelin crawl into the middle and immediately grab his father when Jensen got under the covers. He was asleep quickly, Jensen kissing the top of his head. “He’s scared.”

“He had a tantrum. He’s four,” whispered Jensen. “He needs to sleep on his own or he gets dependent.”

“You’re his father. He’s already dependent,” you whispered. “He’s a little you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means he missed his daddy and he has been the one telling his sisters for three weeks daddy’s coming home soon. I don’t care if he sleeps in our bed, Jensen. Sometimes he has to be a big boy but not tonight.”

“He was very...he’s very much me,” he said quietly, fixing the blankets over his son. “He’s in tune with other’s emotions.”

“I know,” you said. “He’s a sweet boy.”

“When I was a kid, around seven or so, my dad went out to LA for about two months for work. We didn’t have the money for him to fly back and forth so he drove out there. He would call every night but it was long distance and it was expensive back then so all I got to do was say hi to him really. Somewhere in the middle of the two months he drove back to visit for a weekend. I was so excited. So, so excited. I was gonna tell him all about school and my baseball games and the jumping contest my brother and I had on the swings. I was so pumped. He said he was gonna be there Saturday morning for breakfast. Well, I wake up, run downstairs, he’s not there. Lunch rolls around, he’s not there. Afternoon snack time rolls around…”

“He’s not there?” you asked, Jensen nodding. “What happened?”

“Never left LA. Got in a car accident. He was fine but this was the eighties and my mom didn’t get a phone call until the afternoon saying he wouldn’t be coming home. I thought a hundred million things in my head of why he wasn’t there. That achy pit in your stomach. When he finally came home a month later, I slept in their room, in their bed. That little achy feeling went away after that night. I know how much he’s like me,” he said, lightly running his fingers over Zeppelin’s head. “But I gave him that part of me too and I wish I hadn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s too little to worry about me.”

“He’s okay and he’s not gonna worry after tonight. But Jensen, there’s nothing wrong with him having that part of you. It’s a really good part, the part that loves the people he cares about. Right now he doesn’t understand it but someday he will and that’s going to make him a person people will be fortunate to have in their lives. That’s a great part of you he got.”

“Just have to go and make me feel better, don’t you,” he said softly. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Think I’m doing an okay job at this?”

“Yup,” you said. Zeppelin turned over in his sleep, smashing his face into your arm. 

“You care for them,” said Jensen. You nodded and he burrowed down into the sheets. “Because of me or your job?”

“It always helps the job,” you said. “When you nanny, you want the kids to feel comfortable with you and caring about them always makes that easier. But I don’t...I don’t like them because I decided I liked their dad, you know?”

“Why did you then?”

“People with money sometimes let their children get raised by that money and you can tell when it happens. But it’s so obvious that doesn’t happen with them. They have nice toys and clothes and things but they’re good and funny and smart and they could very easily be brats if you went the easy route but you didn’t and it just shows. Sure they’re kids and they can drive anyone to the brink of insanity at times, but they got big hearts, especially for dad. I just like them and seeing them grow into those people more every day.”

“Me too,” he said, Zeppelin rolling back, fisting his hands into Jensen’s shirt this time. He smiled and you leaned over, kissing him goodnight, pecking one on Zeppelin’s head. “Night.”

“Night Jensen.”

The next afternoon when you arrived at Jared’s house you weren’t sure what you were expecting. Jared and Jensen were off doing who knew what and you felt like you’d been set up on a playdate yourself. You’d dropped off the kids there more than once already and knew their kids but for some reason or other you’d yet to meet Gen. You swallowed as you followed the kids around the side of the house, the three of them taking off to go play with their friends on a swing set. You looked around and bit your bottom lip, fixing your bag over your shoulder.

“Y/N?” called a voice. You turned and saw a woman behind you, a bit sweaty in some workout clothes. “Hey. I’m Gen. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Thanks. You too,” you said. 

“Come on,” she said, waving you to follow her up some steps to a patio. “Tom! JJ!”

“We know!” they shouted back from the swings. She shook her head and sighed.

“Not that any of the little ones can get over to the pool anyways but I want to remind them to keep an eye on the younger ones when I’m inside,” she said, showing you to a patio door. You followed her inside, Gen walking into a kitchen and going straight to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of cold water. 

“They have hair like their dad,” you said.

“Yes, yes they do. Getting them to get a haircut is like herding cats,” she said. She gulped down her water and let out a deep breath. “Do you mind if I shower quick? Time got away from me.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you said. 

“There’s a bathroom right around the corner there. Feel free to take whatever from the kitchen if you want. I’ll be back in ten,” she said. 

“No problem,” you said. When she was upstairs you went back outside, leaving your bag in a patio chair. You went down the steps and watched the kids running around for a moment before exploring their backyard. “Here I thought your backyard was nice Ackles.”

“Y/N, will you play tag with us?” asked Arrow from over in the grass.

“How could I say no to a face like that?”

Fifteen minutes later you were warm and taking a break under the patio again out of the sun, the kids playing on the slide and swings now.

“Remember when we had endless energy like that?” asked Gen as the back door opened. 

“Barely,” you said, a margarita glass set down in front of you. “I see we’re going to be very good friends.”

“It’s so hot out today,” she said, setting a pitcher and another glass down on the table. She poured you a glass and then herself one before taking a seat beside you. “I bet the boys are out jet skiing.”

“They really are like a pair of children when you get them together,” you said.

“Yeah but it’s cute. Most people don’t ever get to have a best friend like that,” she said. “Sometimes they need their space from each other but Jared’s literally been counting down the days until Jensen gets back.”

“I don’t think Jensen will ever stay away that long again. He missed his family and friends. Home,” you said. 

“We’re glad to have him back. He’s been gone for a while. Even before you went to Canada,” she said.

“Were you good friends with...” you asked, Gen nodding. “I’m sorry.”

“It sucked. Still does,” she said. “When the boys were off, we could hang out. We got very close. After the accident I was the one taking care of the kids, helping his parents and family with their day to day. Jared focused more on Jensen, helping him physically get back to normal and then mentally. But you know how he was when you met him.”

“I know a lot of work went into helping him get there. I’m very grateful he had you guys,” you said.

“Listen...I’m hoping we can be good friends too. It was different for me and Dee. We both were dating the boys around the same time, got married around the same time. I know we don’t have that and...I just hope we can have that relationship still.”

“Me too. I know we’re probably gonna be seeing you guys a lot now that neither of them are working,” you said.

“Probably most everyday,” she said. “They’re like twins separated at birth or something I swear.”

“Has Jensen always been a bit quiet?” you asked.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen that boy drunk off his ass and being a troublemaker but he’s always been that way. Maybe it’s why he and Jared fit. They’re protective of each other in different ways. Jared’s the loud one out of the two of them, always has been and Jensen, even if he is your best fucking friend, sometimes he’s a little bit quiet.”

“I figured as much. He’s just…”

“Gentle,” she said, a smile coming to your face. “You two are pretty serious, huh.”

“Maybe.”

“It’s been five months. I’d say it’s serious. You move in yet?”

“Technically I’ve always been moved in,” you said. She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “Yeah. We’ve gotten to the sharing a room stage very recently.”

“You must be very special then,” she said. “He was never gonna fall in love ever again. Told Jared and me himself. Now he’s as lovestruck as the first time around.”

“I’m not expecting…” you said, sipping on your drink. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Like I said, we can be friends without the boys,” she said. “What aren’t you expecting?”

“This,” you said with a shrug. “Marriage. Kids of my own. I don’t know where it goes with Jensen.”

“You should start having those talks with him,” she said, your head shaking. “You have to, just so you’re on the same page.”

“I don’t even know if we’re reading the same book,” you said. She nodded and you slumped back into your seat. “I know I love him and that he loves me. But I don’t know if that’s enough.”

“A friend once told me that’s all you need,” said Jensen behind you. You turned around and Jensen was standing there, a sad smile on his face. “We wanted to come hang out with you guys. Y/N?”

You got a smile from Gen as you followed Jensen inside, Jared slipping past and out back. You crossed your arms and looked down, Jensen stepping close to you, large hands resting on your arms.

“Why don’t you think it’s enough?” he asked quietly.

“It is. Gen and I were just shooting the shit,” you said, forcing your gaze up. He slid his hand down and took one of yours, pulling you over to a quiet sitting room. He sat down on a day bed, you going with him. 

“Honey. Tell me the truth.” He ran his thumb over the back of your hand as you crossed your legs. “Did I do something?”

“No. You’re perfect,” you said, glancing down to your lap. “All I was saying was...I don’t know where you stand on some things.”

“Like what?” he asked, still smiling softly, hiding all of the nerves underneath it.

“Kids. Marriage. The fact your family has never once met me or knows I exist. Am I just gonna be the nanny girlfriend or is there something more? I love you. I fucking love and I don’t need or want...I just want to know if you’re open to those things.”

“I don’t know,” he said. You nodded and moved your hand back into your lap, Jensen letting go of it. “Is that a deal breaker?”

“No,” you said with a shake of your head. “Like I said, we were shooting the shit.”

You were both quiet before you stood, Jensen grabbing your hand. He pulled you back to sit, plopping you straight down in his lap before kissing you.

“Okay I do know but the answers fucking scare me,” he said. “I said I was gonna stop being scared when it came to you.”

“Jensen, you don’t have to-”

“Yes, I would have more kids if it were with the right person. Preferably sooner than later but yes. Yes, I would marry again. Yes, I would introduce her to my family and yes they do know about her. Not as much as I’d like but they do know her. And lastly yes, I am open to more than just the nanny girlfriend, so much fucking more. All of it more. But that scares me that almost a year later here I am, open to all of those things, wanting those things with you when losing Dee hurt so much. It’s not fair to you that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, simple and normal and just the fun parts. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking you to stop loving her. God if you ever did, I don’t think you’d be the man I love. I just wanted to know if there’s room for a future in there maybe,” you said.

“You kinda got in there all on your own and I don’t want you to ever come out,” he said. 

“Ever?” you breathed out. “Cause that implies-”

“If someone’s gonna be that second person for me, I think…” he said, looking down. You rested your forehead against his, Jensen taking a deep breath. “I know you won’t wait for me forever to get my shit together.”

“Well, forever’s a long time. I can offer a few years at least?” you asked, Jensen laughing dryly. “What?”

“I don’t deserve a few years. Your emotions aren’t a toy to play with.”

“Yours aren’t something to drag along when they’re not ready.”

“See? You do that shit. You always do that fucking shit,” he said, his voice a few octaves higher. You wrapped him up in a hug, feeling a few drops of wetness hit your cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“For crying? Jesus Jens, it’s okay,” you said. “I promise it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I keep tossing you around like you don’t have feelings too, like this isn’t hard for you too. It’s always me and my fucking problems with just…”

“Just what honey,” you said, Jensen holding onto you tightly, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” you said, carding your fingers through his hair.

“I don’t want this to go away,” he mumbled out. “This is it and I feel like I’m gonna explode and-”

“Shush,” you said, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing his whole body as much as you could. He stilled briefly and calmed down some, sniffling to himself before you released to a gentler hold on him. “Just the anxiety talking.”

“I love you,” he said, lifting his head up, looking you straight on. “I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and do everything with you. I’ve known those things for a very long time. Longer than you have and before you even thought of them as questions. I want all that and you’re gonna get stuck with me, with this, with the never ending baggage, with the baggage you haven’t even seen yet. All your life is gonna be is taking care of my ass and you getting hurt because of it. Is that what you want? Is it? Because I want so much fucking more for you than me.”

“Was that your proposal speech?” you asked calmly. He blinked a few times and narrowed his eyes.

“What? Y/N I-”

“Well you said you want to marry me and yeah, I fucking want to do that with you too so was that your speech?”

“What?” he asked so innocently you smiled. “I don’t…”

“I happen to like taking care of your ass. So. You want me gone, I’m gone. You want me to stay, I’m staying forever. What’s it gonna be?” you asked.

“Stay,” he said quietly with a nod. “Please don’t go away from us.”

“Okay,” you said. He leaned forward and kissed you, sniffling some more when he broke off. “Are you…”

“I can’t believe I just asked that while I’m covered in tears and snot,” he said. A box of tissues suddenly flung itself through the doorway, landing near your feet. You stared down at it and started to laugh, Jensen chuckling while you picked it up. “I’m never living that down.”

“Who gives a fuck,” you said. You took out a tissue and wiped off his face and eyes, having him blow his nose a few times. “That’s really gross.”

“I know.”

“Must be how you know it’s meant to be,” you said, wiping your hand off. 

“Stay forever?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Yeah that sounds good.”

“Me too,” he said. He pulled you into a hug and you held him tight, the door sneakily shutting on the two of you when it started to pour outside and you heard the backdoor. “I bet that’s how you imagined that going.”

“I never thought it would happen,” you said. “Not when I first came here. Love’s for other people. Normal people with normal families.”

“Fuck normal,” he said and you laughed. You picked up a clean tissue and licked it, wiping off a dried tear streak on his cheek. “I feel good.”

“We’re gonna work on that bottling shit up stuff, okay?” you said.

“Maybe you’ll have more success than Dee did,” he chuckled. 

“I’ll just have to build off what she started,” you said. He nodded and cupped your cheek as you finished cleaning him off. “There, all better.”

“Guess you’re out of a nanny job,” he said.

“Oh such a shame,” you said. “I’ve been putting my paychecks for the last while to a separate account.”

“I did notice that,” he said. “Saving for something?”

“Wanted to give it back to you.”

“Honeymoon fund instead?”

“Okay, now we’re talking,” you said with a laugh.

“You never did tell me how much your book deal got you.”

“I signed a multi-year deal. They think there’s great potential for it to be one of those series every kid reads. One million for around twenty books?”

“Fuck. You should be my agent if you can negotiate like that,” he said.

“I’m still gonna take care of them like I have been,” you said. 

“I know. It’s probably going to be a million times harder now actually,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “You love them.”

“Yes but I don’t know how to be a parent.”

“Just do what you’ve been doing and it’ll be fine,” he said. “It’ll change but it’ll be good.”

“Not really how I was expecting today to go,” you said. 

“Me either. I had hoped for that to be a tad more romantic,” he said. You gave him a kiss and hug, Jensen returning it. “You don’t care.”

“Nah,” you said. “Just care about you. Everything else, I’m good.”

“Want to go share the news with our eavesdropper?” he asked. You helped him up to his feet and took his hand, walking out of the room, Jared and Gen suspiciously wiping down their kitchen counter. “Or should I say eavesdroppers.”

“We were concerned and I swear we left after Jared tossed the tissues in,” said Gen. Jared shook his head and pointed at her. “I swear he did it.”

“Guess you guys heard then,” said Jensen, giving you a smile. “We’re gonna give it a shot.”

“You okay?” asked Jared. Jensen nodded and squeezed your hand. “You sure?”

“I know what I want,” said Jensen. “I’ve known for a long time. Finally got over being scared is all.”

“She wasn’t gonna hurt you,” said Jared with a smile.

“I know. It was a different fear,” he said. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said. “Promise.”

“You better not, sweetheart.”

It was dark by the time the storms had passed, all three kids going down easy after spending most of the day running around the Padalecki house. You sat on the balcony off of Jensen’s bedroom in the oversized lounge chair, Jensen sat on the other side of the small side table your drink rested on.

“I’ve never been on a boat before,” you said, staring up at the dark night sky, the only light coming from a few string ones Jensen had turned on.

“Never?” asked Jensen. “Better wear your life jacket tomorrow then.”

“You better wear your life jacket,” you said. “We both know I’m a better swimmer than you.”

“You’re a better swimmer than me? Me?” he chuckled. “No way.”

“Put your money where your mouth is. Five bucks says I’m a better swimmer,” you said. He waved the way towards the door and you stood up, walking downstairs and outside.

“Uh, you missing something?” he chuckled. You smirked and pulled off your shirt and undid your jeans, shimming out of them and leaving them by the patio. “You really think…” 

“I really think what?” you said, tossing your bra at him, leaving your underwear behind. You jumped in and swam out to the deep end. “You’re already losing Jensen.”

“Losing my ass,” he said, taking off his shirt and jeans, nearly tripping as he hopped out of his boxer briefs. He jumped in nearby and swam over to you, dunking his head under briefly. “I could get used to this look.”

“Nothing you’ve not seen before.”

“Never seen my fiance naked before,” he grinned. You rolled your eyes but swam over and gave him a kiss. “I knew you had a thing for dorks you know.”

“Did you now?”

“Told me yourself. Not a fan of cocky guys I recall.”

“Well...a little cock is okay. Highly recommended in fact,” you said. 

“You are such a loser,” he laughed.

“I must have learned it from you.” You giggled and swam back to the shallow end, Jensen lazily chasing after. “I’ve never skinny dipped until just now actually.”

“Got anything on your bucket list you want to try out?” he asked. You shrugged and took a seat on a step, Jensen settling in next to you. “Naked trounce on the trampoline?”

“Maybe another time,” you said. You leaned back and looked up at the dark sky once more. He reached over and held your hand in the water, playing with it quietly. “Skydiving would be cool. Space would be cool.”

“One of those is a lot more feasible than the other. I noticed up in Canada where we had more stars at night you really like looking at them.”

“Did it a lot as a kid. Kinda always have,” you said. “I like space as much as the next gal but it’s just pretty, you know? You’re one little speck out in all of those stars. It’s all so freaking complex but you can kinda look up at them and it’s just so simple too.”

“Yeah,” he said, toying with a strand of hair floating in the water. “I get that.”

You turned and found him staring at you, a smile on his lips. 

“We could go camping sometime, see all the stars there are up there if you’d like,” he said.

“We don’t have to do that,” you said. 

“Why?” he asked quietly. “I’m curious is all. It seems like something you’d really enjoy seeing.”

“What purpose does it serve though? It’s not something fun for the kids to experience,” you said. “It’s a waste of money.”

“It doesn’t have to have a purpose. It’s for you, for us. A night away where you get to see something most people don’t ever get a chance. That’s the only purpose,” he said. “Camping’s about the cheapest thing you can do. Don’t worry about the money. You don’t have to worry about that ever again.”

“I just don’t want to go camping,” you said. You looked down and swallowed. “I used to go camping with my dad a lot.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do that to me,” you said. “I just...I don’t think I ever want to go again.”

“Okay. Would you go camping with me sometime?” he asked. 

“Jensen-”

“Just me. No body else. I won’t even touch you except to cuddle,” he said. You nodded and he smiled. “Thank you. It won’t be scary this time. I promise.”

“Is your dad nice?” you asked. He leaned back against his elbows and nodded. “Does he know about me?”

“My parents know I have a girlfriend. My mom knows I was getting pretty serious about you,” he said. 

“Do they know I was the nanny? Or how old I am?”

“No. My siblings do but not my parents,” he said. You sat up and wrapped your arms around yourself in the warm night air. “I’m not embarrassed of you Y/N. I think that’s a conversation better had in person is all.”

“You haven’t told them because you think they’ll have a problem with it,” you said. 

“Not as much problem as when I say I’m not having a prenup,” he said. You turned your head and saw him smiling back. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you completely.”

“Jensen I don’t want to cause a problem,” you said. He shook his head and you sighed. “I know how close you are with them and you haven’t gotten to see them since Christmas. I know exactly what they’re gonna think of me when they hear about the former nanny.”

“You don’t seem to understand yet that you? Nobody is more important than you and those three in there. If they can’t accept you then screw ‘em.”

“Jensen.”

“I’m not worried and you know why? I love you and you love me. I know they love me a whole lot too so you’re on the same side.”

“You’re a bad liar,” you said. He sat up and sighed. “Jens-”

“I don’t know how they’ll act. But you deserve a chance and that’s what I expect out of them. I want them to love you too but at a minimum you’ll have their respect.”

You nodded and sunk down in the warm water, Jensen sliding over and taking a seat on your lap, tossing his arms around your shoulders. 

“You still talk to Dee’s parents right?” you asked. He nodded and wrapped his legs loosely around your waist. “Do they…”

“No,” he said quietly. “They deserve for that to be an in person conversation too. They’re coming up soon for JJ’s birthday soon. I figured I’d tell them then.”

“I’m glad you still talk to them,” you said. “They still see you guys.”

“Christmas was hard last year. I’m not sure which one of us got it worse,” he said. 

“I’d like to meet them if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I’m not sure how they’ll react honestly.”

“I’d still like to,” you said, stepping out into the water with him, Jensen hanging off of you. “If only you were this light normally I’d carry you around all day.”

“Didn’t we agree a long time ago you were the badass princess after all,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Here I thought you’d be taller,” you teased, quickly kissing him.

“Little shit,” he grinned. He nuzzled your cheek and you let out a deep breath. “Don’t worry about them.”

“At least we don’t have to go through this on my side,” you said.

“Can I ask one thing of you?”

“What?”

“Ray, your mom’s boyfriend, did things end badly between the two of you or you just drift apart? You said you left when you finished high school.”

“I stopped talking to him awhile ago. I moved out at 18 when I got my first nanny job. He was dating his wife Sarah by then. I’d come over for dinner every few months for a few years. By the time I was twenty one they were married with two kids. I didn’t go one time and kept putting it off and Ray told me it was okay if I didn’t want to see him anymore. I could call him if I ever needed him, that sort of thing. I haven’t spoken to him in nine years. But that’s not asking something of me, is it.”

“Can we consider inviting him to the wedding?”

“Been engaged eight hours and already planning?” you asked. 

“I don’t know him but he had a part in raising you. Just consider it is all I ask. And wedding? Those things take fucking forever to plan, trust me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, spinning him around in the water. “Are they really that complicated to put together?”

“Nah. Don’t go bridezilla on me is all,” he said. 

“Total diva over here,” you said, feeling the edge of the shallow end start to drop off with your foot. You spun around one more time before you had to set him down, Jensen taking the chance to pick you up and toss you out of of the water. “Jensen! I’m naked!”

“I know. It’s awesome,” he said, swimming out and kissing your cheek. “Wanna race?”

“Winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser when we head upstairs?” you grinned.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

______

A/N: Read Part 10 here!

[bestiesenpai]

Taker pt2 - Sukuna

Ah, the smell of freshly baked step-brother kink in the morning -3- the flavor is so good, I like to have it with my morning tea. Femme reader and this is the second and final part for this series(?)

part one

Content warnings: Sukuna big meanie, noncon+dubcon, degradation, a smol bit of praise!, spanking, choking(brief), pseudoincest(duh)

The incident you had with Sukuna was burned into your brain forever. You couldn’t even pass the couch anymore, gaze pointedly turned away from it whenever you were near. Sitting on it with your family was too much, especially when your mother sat in the seat Sukuna had been when he had his cock buried into you.

So, you did what seemed like the right idea: ran away to your grandparents house. It was under the guise of spending time with them and no one questioned it. They welcomed you with open arms, excited and surprised at the sudden visit.

It was nice with them, not having to deal with Sukuna sending you dirty looks when he walked past the lounge room and not having to avoid him in the halls at night when you were trying to use the bathroom or get a glass of water.

But when it came to you and your step brother Sukuna, nothing good lasted long.

“Oh Sukuna, hello!” The front door opened and your grandpa stepped back to reveal Sukuna, bundled up in a hoodie and sweats.

“Hey gramps.” Sauntering into the house with his hands in his pockets, Sukuna smirked widely at your horrified expression. “Hey little sis, ‘m here to take ya home!”

“W-what?” It had only been a week since you’d been gone, and while you had been planning to come home in a few days you weren’t expecting Sukuna to come get you.

“Yeah, you don’t remember texting me last night asking to pick you up today? Dad let me borrow the car, it’s parked out front.” Hooking his thumb behind him, Sukuna dropped the smirk when your grandma came into the room and donned an innocent pout.

“Sukuna, good to see you! Staying out of trouble I hope?”

“Eh, not really.” He shrugged and laughed lightly. Your grandparents didn’t know the half of it. Just a few days ago Yuji texted you that Sukuna had gotten into another fight and stumbled into your empty room dripping blood.

Your grandma laughed easily, patting him on the chest and muttering something about how rowdy young men can be. Glued to your spot, you watched in agony as Sukuna chatted up your grandparents, talking about something that you didn’t quite catch.

“(Y/N), don’t just sit there Sukuna came all this way to get you! Pack your things.” Your grandma caught your eye, brows knitting at seeing you not moving.

“But-” You stammered, trying to say something more diplomatic besides ‘I don’t want to go home with my perverted step brother that bullies me’.

“You need help getting your stuff together? Where’s your room, I’ll help.” Sukuna was already walking past you and toward the bedrooms, and you couldn’t stop him now. Biting your lip, you followed after him and darted into the bedroom you’d been using.

“Not so fast!” You tried to slam the door shut before Sukuna could come in but he was faster than you thought and much stronger than you remembered. His hand caught the door, shoving it open and shoving you back into the room with ease.

“Why’re you here?” You huff, turning your back to him and gathering the clothes you’d left strewn about.

“I came to get my little sister of course!” He said loud enough for your grandparents to hear. He had one eye over his shoulder, checking to see if one of them would come into the room. With the coast clear, Sukuna turned to you and dropped his voice. “I can’t have my little princess avoiding me forever now, can I?”

“It’s only been a week!” The sentence comes out as a whine and you throw your head back, stamping your foot in a huff.

“A week far too long to be apart from you.” With a dark chuckle, Sukuna walked up to you and pushed you on the shoulder, turning you to him. “I won’t let you slip through my fingers that easily.”

“I hate you.” You glared harshly at him and pushed him back.

“Ouch, those words would hurt if you meant them.”

“I do.”

“Nah, I’m sure you’ll be taking them back real soon.” Snatching the clothes out of your hand, Sukuna threw them across the room. “Now hurry up, I’m tired of fucking waiting.”

The drive home was heavy with unspoken tension. Not a word was spoken from either of you, not that Sukuna particularly cared. He had the radio turned up to some blaring punk rock station, mouthing along to some of the songs and humming every so often.

Entering the house, your heart dropped at realizing it was just you two alone again. It was the middle of the work week and both your parents were out, and Yuji had university classes to attend. Only you and Sukuna, who had no school or job to go to, were in the house.

“My room, now.” Shoving you in the back, Sukuna nearly made you fall over.

“Hey!” He forced you up the stairs and to his room at the end of the hallway, knocking you into the closed door a few times as he fumbled to turn the knob.

“Home sweet home.” Sighing happily, Sukuna closed and locked the door behind him. You’d been in Sukuna’s room only once, when he wasn’t home and you had to collect a few things he’d ‘borrowed’ from your room.

There was an electric guitar and amp in the corner next to a desk covered with random papers and old fast food bags. Multiple overlapping posters were hung on the walls of different bands and strange art that Sukuna liked, along with a few gravure models above his bed. The faint smell of cigarettes and body wash clung to the air, making the dark room feel even darker.

“So, tell me why you left me.” Pushing you to the middle of the room, Sukuna walked around you in circles.

“You know why.”

“Mmm, I don’t think I do.” His voice sounded behind you, and in one swift motion he knocked you out at the knees and sent you to the floor. “Try again.”

“You know why!” You shouted at him, attempting to stand but his hands on your shoulders kept you on the ground.

“Try. Again.” Bending down to your line of sight, Sukuna stared at you with widened eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say! You fucked me, Sukuna! And- and I didn’t like it!” Immediately his hand was around your throat, constricting your airways and forcing you to sit up straight on your knees to try and breathe.

“Ya say you didn’t like it but then why’d you cum twice? Certainly weren’t saying you didn’t like it when I was fucking you so good. What were the words you said, ‘I love my big brother's cock’?” Tilting his head to the side, Sukuna let out a disappointed hum. “No, there has to be another reason and I think I know what it is.”

Letting you go, Sukuna straightened up and stared down his nose at you, a hollow look in his eyes as he watched you clutch your throat and gasp in air. Sometime during all this, your phone had fallen out onto the floor and Sukuna picked it up.

“You’re screwing around with a little boyfriend, aren’t you?”

“Wh-what? No I’m not.” You choked, lungs still burning.

“You didn’t want your big brother Sukuna to find out you were fucking cheating on him, right?” Waving your phone in front of your face, Sukuna jerked it out of reach when you tried to grab for it.

“Give it back, that’s not true!” You played the game of cat and mouse, desperately trying to get your phone back from him and leave the room. “Sukuna, it’s not true and you know it!”

“Liar.” Tossing your phone onto his bed, Sukuna grabbed your upper arms and forced you to stand. Stumbling back onto his bed he dragged you with him and as soon as he sat down he threw you across his lap.

A short grunt left your mouth as your chest collided with his legs, hands scrambling on the bed to try and drag yourself off. Sukuna kept a tight grip around your middle, yanking your bottoms and panties off in one go.

“Suku-” Your cry was cut off by a hard slap against your ass, hot pain shooting across your body and only getting worse when he landed a hand on your other cheek.

“You fucking bitch. Do you hate me now?” Sukuna huffed, smacking you again and putting more of his weight into it. Your bottom was already stinging and with each smack that landed it only made it worse.

“S-sukuna! Stop, stop-” Tears were easily streaming out of your eyes and dripping into his mattress. Your feet beat against the bed, trying in vain to stop him from hitting you again.

“You’ve already forgotten your training too? Wow princess, I’m fucking disappointed.” Smacking you again, Sukuna yanked your shirt collar up, forcing you to rest on your elbows and look back at him. “What’re you supposed to call me?”

Squeezing your lips together, you shook your head hard. You couldn’t even focus fully on him with all the tears clouding your vision and there wasn’t a hope for you to actually speak either with the way you were hiccuping.

“Say it.” He barked, slapping the back of your thighs this time.

“Ow!”

“Oh so you can speak! What are you supposed to call me?”

“Big- big brother! Big brother, big brother!” Shaking your head harder, you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth, trying to calm your frantic cries.

“Much fucking better.” Letting you fall back onto the bed, Sukuna hit you a few more times in rapid succession. “But it seems you’ve forgotten just who you belong to.” Without warning Sukuna shoved you off his lap and back onto the floor.

Landing on your ass, you yelped loudly and flipped over onto your stomach, the cool air in the room doing nothing for how hot and irritated your skin was now. It hurt and there was no hiding it, your crying the only sound in the room.

“Quit your crying, you dumb baby. I went easy on you, you should feel grateful.” Walking over you, Sukuna dug through his dresser before procuring a large black t-shirt. Holding it up to the light, he smiled and tossed it down to you.

“Wh-what-?” Trembling fingers grabbed the shirt and turned it over, and you blinked hard to clear the tears and look at what was printed on the front.

“Like it? Had it specially made for you.” On the front of the shirt in big, bold white letters were the words ‘big brothers cumslut’. Sukuna didn’t wait for a response, taking in your horrified expression with glee as he stripped himself. “Go ahead, put it on.”

“Big brother…” You whined, coming to stand on your knees and keeping your ass away from your feet. Twisting the shirt in your hands, you couldn’t decide what was worse: the shirt or the fact that Sukuna was barely two feet from you with a hard cock only getting harder with his hand pumping it.

“Don’t keep me waiting.” He warned and walked past you to lay on the bed. Hanging your head, you stood up and whined again, grabbing the edges of your own shirt and lifting it up. “There we go, nice and slow.”

Your body shook as you took your shirt and bra off, cheeks burning when Sukuna let out a low whistle and fisted his cock a few times at the sight of your naked body. Tears wet your lashes again as you slid the new shirt on, the words on it permanently branded your chest.

With a soft mutter, Sukuna pulled you over to him, moving you to straddle him with his cock nestled between your legs. Laying heavy hands on your hips, he pushed your ass flat against his thighs, not caring in the slightest about your pained squirming.

Humiliation clung to you like a second skin as the weight of the shirt settled on your body. Embarrassment burrowed deeply in your brain as the memories of being spanked by your big brother and crying like a baby took up space in your brain. There was already shame hanging over you from being fucked by Sukuna the first time and you thought it couldn’t get any bigger.

But when he maneuvered his cock between the lips of your cunt, pressing it flush against your wet sex without sticking it in and pushing and pulling your hips to grind against him, it increased tenfold.

Your hands slapped down onto his chest, whether you wanted to stop him or get more momentum was unknown even to you. It was deplorable the amount of your slick he was able to build up just by grinding you on his cock.

“You like that, stupid girl?” Sukuna groaned lightly, his lip caught between his teeth as he watched your cunt envelop him, the tip of his cock poking out every so often.

“I-” You struggled to answer. Every slide back brought the pain in your ass back to the forefront of your mind and every slide forward had sparks shooting up your spine at the way your clit rubbed against him.

“See, I just had to be a little mean to you, to teach you a lesson.” Sukuna kept talking, catching your hazy eyes but not really caring if you were listening. “Big brother just had to remind you of a few things, but as long as you’re good he won’t have to do it again.”

“O-okay.” Nodding your heavy head, you sniffled away the remaining tears. “M’sorry, brother.” You weren’t even sure what you were apologizing for, the words just tumbling out of your mouth easily.

“Ooh princess.” Sukuna cooed, pouting his lip and lifting a hand to shake your head by the chin. “I know you are. That’s why you’re gonna make me feel real good to make it up.”

“Mhmm.” Sukunas hand dropped from your chin and grabbed onto your hips again and this time you moved with him. The slow push and pull of your hips picked up when you began to move on your own accord, gliding your cunt across his cock.

Seeing you move on your own, Sukuna let go of your hips and put his hands behind his head, lacing his fingers together and sighing contently. His lip caught between his teeth again watching you grind yourself on him.

“Big brother, I-” The pleasure you were getting from this was mind numbing, the direct stimulation on your clit combined with the hazy fog you were already in from getting spanked making you forget how to do anything except keep moving.

“So good for me, aren’t you.” Sukuna groaned and his arms shook as a jolt went up. “Just like that, keep going.”

“Brother…” All the pleasure you were getting was amazing, but you were growing needy. There was something you still needed, something the clenching of your empty cunt wouldn’t let you ignore.

Lifting yourself up with horribly shaky arms, your eyes were glued to Sukunas cock, glistening with your juices and absolutely rock hard. Stuffing part of the shirt in your mouth so you could see better, you grabbed Sukunas cock and attempted to guide it into your cunt.

“Aht, not so fast princess.” Snatching your hand off of him, Sukuna grabbed both your hands and held them up and away.

“Lemme go- I wanna- want your-” Your attempts at tugging your wrists free was weak and in vain. Sinking back, Sukuna’s cock resumed its previous spot hugged by your cunt.

“Don’t forget you were still a bad girl, you still need to learn your lesson.”

“Meanie.” Pouting down at him, you sloppily jutted your hips forward. The move made Sukuna’s breath hitch and you did it a few more times, rutting against him in a feeble attempt at getting back at him.

“You think you’re doing something but really you’re just gonna make me cum.” Squeezing your wrists one more time, Sukuna let them go and put his hands on your thighs. “And when I cum it’s all over.”

The implication of his words took several long seconds to reach your consciousness. If you wanted to cum, it would have to be this way, and it would have to be before Sukuna came. Slowing down, you tried to angle your hips forward to put more pressure on your clit.

“Don’t slow down now, keep going!” Catching on quickly, Sukuna smacked your thighs and squeezed them, forcing you back to the pace you were at earlier.

“Brother, please!” Digging the tips of your fingers into his chest, you tried to forcibly slow down.

“Quit being such a greedy brat and take what I give you.”

“Gimme- yo-your cock!” Gone was the shame that had clung to you so heavily. Nothing else mattered now except for the achingly empty feeling inside you desperate to be filled by your big brother's cock.

“You have it right here princess.” Sukuna grinned, thrusting his hips up. The sharp movement had your heavy head lolling forward and eyes screwing shut.

“Big brother, fuck.” Your chest heaved greatly as you fought to keep getting air into your lungs. Your shirt was bunched up by your waist, held in place by Sukuna so he could get an uninterrupted look at you humping him.

With renewed vigor you ground your hips against his as fast as you could, zealously chasing the pleasure that you could get from this moment. It had your toes curling and you were absolutely gushing around his cock, making the slide even easier.

A couple sharp, high pitched cries leave your lips just as Sukuna cums at the same time as you. His back arches up off the mattress, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. You don’t stop moving and Sukuna doesn’t let you, making you fuck him through both your orgasms.

Some of his cum catches on the front of your cunt, but most of it splatters across his crotch and lower stomach. Every thrust of your hips seems to push more out, spurting the sticky white fluid out in a disjointed pattern.

When the stupor of his orgasm wears off Sukuna lets you go, lets you fall forward and then to his side in a tired, mushy lump. As he catches his breath he watches your thighs twitch from the aftershocks of your orgasm, the shine of your slick cunt glaringly obvious to him.

Lazily, Sukuna grabs a few tissues of the bedside table and wipes himself clean. He would have had you do it and made you lick him clean, but he couldn’t trust you not to stick his soft cock into you and try to fuck him.

“Hey, princess this isn’t a fucking hotel.” He jerks your shoulder, forcing you to sit up and shake off the light sleep that had dusted across your eyes.

“What’re you doing?” You grumble, steadily growing annoyed as he forces you to your feet and towards the door.

“Good girls get to sleep in my bed, but you’re still on fucking punishment, remember?”

“You’re being mean, s’not fair!” Pushing back against him, you almost make it back onto his bed.

“Get out, you little bitch! Learn to act right and be a good girl.” Wrapping an arm under your breasts, Sukuna hoists you up and drags you out of his room, dumping you unceremoniously out into the hall.

A pitiful whine leaves you, but you gather yourself up and stand in front of him. You don’t even realize you’ve started crying until Sukuna rubs a rough hand across your face and wipes a few tears away.

“Shut up and go put your shit in your room.” You nod, lower lip trembling and sniffling loudly, but make no sign to move. Rolling his eyes, Sukuna slaps the doorframe. “Fine, since you’re being so pathetic, here’s a deal. Are you listening?”

“Y-yes.”

“If you go and put all your shit away you can come and lay down in my bed. Deal?” Crossing his arms over his chest, Sukuna tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for you to answer. “Well, do we have a fucking deal or not?”

“Yes.” Wiping your eyes again, you take a few steps back.

“Yes what?”

“Yes big brother.” There’s a pout on your lips as you say it and Sukuna swipes his thumb across your bottom lip.

“Good girl. Now get going, I don’t wanna have to come and get you again.” Giving your ass a pat and reminding you of the pain in your backside that had been pushed away, Sukuna grinned. With a quick nod you scurried away, feet landing heavy on the stairs as you went to grab your bag.

Man, did Sukuna love having such a good little sister or what?

[fearfully-fiction]

St. Albans pt.2- Dakota Laden x Reader

word count: 3786

warnings: fluff? angstish. TW: mentions of suicide (if any of you feel this way at all i really do encourage you to talk to somebody. it’s a hard thing to do, it can be scary but a lot of the time holding things in is scarier. call a hotline please, talk to somebody know you’re so loved and needed by so many. I'm here for you, I love you all)

Summary: based on season 1 episode 4 of DF so all credit to the crew, the dhow and the channel! Reader and the team head into the sanatorium and begin to explore. Reader gets increasingly worried for Dakota and her friends.

part1! part3! part4!

(not my gif!)

You awoke to Dakota gently shaking you to rouse you from your sleep. 

“Babe, we’re close to the location. It’s time to get up ok,” he informed you. You groaned sleepily and he chuckled while smoothing your messy hair. “How close?” you asked. 

“About ten minutes.” he kissed your forehead and chuckled when you rolled away from him. “Alright, alright I’m up.” you declared as you reluctantly stood up and stretched. He walked towards you and wrapped his arms around you. You leaned into his embrace and he placed his cheek atop your head. He let go and went to sit with the others as you headed to the bathroom to fix your hair and try not to look like you just woke up from a 30-year coma. 

You walked out and smiled at them all, “Hey guys, are you excited?” you asked. 

“Well, that’s definitely not the word I would use for it. I’m more freaked out than excited.” Tanner answered your question. “I’m fucking terrified, you and I haven’t been there before. Dude I’m freaking out.” Alex spoke up and you nodded your head vigorously. They all chuckled at your reactions. “Yeah, I know I said you could handle yourselves but damn, I am still worried,” you admitted to them. “We’ll be alright babe,” Dakota reassured and put his arm across the back of the seat and this time you leaned into him. You reached over your shoulder and interlocked your fingers with his, and he smiled down at you. Chelsea noticed this and smiled softly at her little brother. 

--

Everything was silent as you came upon the building you’d be staying in for the night, you could see the look of anger and annoyance on Chelsea’s face as she shook her head. 

 You exited the RV with all of your gear, and you stood next to Chelsea giving her hand a squeeze to let her know you were there for her. She looked at you with a grateful smile and you nudged her shoulder playfully. 

You walked up the steps and into the old building letting out a heavy sigh as you assessed your surroundings. You all set up your gear room quickly, wanting to get started with the night as quickly as possible. Though you dreaded the hours ahead of you, you couldn’t help your idiotic curiosity. 

“Now we’re about to walk through St. Albans Sanatorium for the second time in our lives.” your boyfriend announced to the audience. You and Alex gave each other a look as if silently communicating how crazy Dakota was for doing this. 

“Should we get started?” you asked “I’ll leave it up to Chelsea,” Dakota gave his sister the decision. 

You turn towards Chels, ready to hear her answer. “Where do you want to start?” He asked. She contemplated for a few seconds before deciding to go upstairs. “Let’s go upstairs,” you all agreed. “Let’s go up, then work our way down.” your boyfriend said. “Alright, here we go.” you huffed. 

You all slowly made your way up the stairs with you falling to the back of the group. Letting your eyes try and adjust to the dark, and the small screen showing your surroundings. You stepped up the last step and up onto the second floor and continued down the hallway with your small flashlights illuminating small portions of it. Alex noticed you weren’t in front of him and stopped. You didn’t notice him stop and ran into him and jumped. “Shit!” you yelped and it caused everyone to let out shouts. They all turned towards you with wide eyes Dakota making his way towards you.” Are you ok? What happened?” he shot out questions. Your eyes were wide but suddenly you let out a laugh. When you realized you had just run into Alex, your laughter made everyone look at you in confusion. “What are you laughing about?” Tanner asked while letting out a heavy sigh. “I just ran into Alex that’s all. I didn’t see that he had stopped. I’m sorry everyone.” you let out small giggles as you apologized. They all looked at you and sighed in relief. “You scared the crap out of me,” Chelsea spoke up. “I’m sorry Chels.” you gave a shy shrug. “Why did you stop Al?” you asked. “I didn’t see you in front of me and got worried,” he admitted. “Aw, well I’m ok. Just fell to the back of the pack that’s all,” you said and nudged him with your shoulder. “Ok, that’s not happening come up here,” Tanner said and grabbed your wrist to gently pull you in front of him and Alex. 

Chelsea reached out to grab your hand and keep you next to her. 

You all stopped in the middle of the second floor with Dakota asking if anyone was up there. Everything was quiet and then a loud clatter happened from above you, all of you jumped and you squeezed Chelsea’s hand. 

“That was up there,” Tanner spoke. “That was up on the third floor.” your boyfriend jumped in. 

Tanner began to walk up the stairs but quickly came back down. “Dude, there was another step.” he spit out. “What seriously?” you questioned while backing up a bit. He nodded his head, and you shook your head. “No way in hell, am I going up there,” you announced. 

Tanner stepped forward once again to go up the stairs. You always did wonder how he could do that. “How do you have the courage to do this right now?” Dakota asked in disbelief, pretty much stating your thoughts. 

Dakota looked at you all before following Tanner up the stairs. “These boys are gonna be the death of us I swear Chelsea. Your brother is crazy,” you stated quietly. “Tell me about it, you’re the one who is dating him,” she said. “Touche,” you replied. 

When you reached the third floor you pulled your jacket tighter around you and spoke up. “It’s so much colder up here.”

“Isn’t heat suppose to rise?” Your boyfriend concluded your thought.

“Yeah,” Tanner responded. “This is weird,” Dakota said. 

Then out of nowhere another loud noise was heard. You jumped and grabbed Dakota’s arm. 

“Whoa, whoa what the hell was that!?” you exclaimed. “What? What is it?” Chelsea questioned hurriedly. 

Tanner moved backward and away from the door. 

“That was behind you. That was right behind you!” Dakota called out.  You buried your face in your boyfriend’s arm. “No way. No way. No way. I am not going up there, Kota.” he turned toward you and pulled you into a hug while kissing your head. “I’ll be right there babe, I won’t let anything hurt you ok?” you look up at him and can see the sincerity in his eyes though the light is barely enough to make anything out. You nodded your head, “Ok…” you agree. 

He reached down to give your hand a squeeze before turning back to face the doorway. Another creak sounded and made you all jump. 

“Is there someone up there?” Chelsea wondered aloud. 

So Dakota asked the question. "Is there somebody up here?” 

“Honest to God. Is there someone up here?” He questioned once again. 

Tanner called out. “Hey! Quiet!”  you all waited with bated breath for a few seconds before Dakota decided to continue. 

“Just beware you guys. This is, like, one of the more haunted floors, too,” he explained and walked behind Tanner who was now leading the group. Chelsea walked a bit ahead of you and you stayed back with Alex. “Hey Al, you doing ok?” you asked your best friend. 

He turned his camera down to look at you. “I’m doing ok. Not exactly having fun, but what’s new, ya know?” he answered you. You chuckled and agreed with a nod. “I totally understand. I just hope this isn’t our ‘last stop’.” you joked lightly trying to get a smile out of him. “Oh, wow that really helped ease my conscience (y/n).” he tossed back at you. 

You looked ahead of you. “Oh, shit we’re being left behind,” you said and jogged ahead with Alex behind you. You heard from down the hallway. 

“Oh, my god, it’s the suicide bathroom!” you hear Tanner exclaim. You get to where they are and look in disbelief at the room where people decided to end their lives. It made you so sad, knowing that people went there because they didn’t want to live anymore. (if any of you feel this way, please talk to someone. Don’t hold it in let someone help you, don’t be scared or ashamed to ask for help it’s a really brave thing to do. I’m here for you if you ever just want to talk. I love you all) 

“That’s where it’s coming from,” Tanner explained. “So, what just happened?” Your boyfriend asked. You came in and stood by Chelsea. 

“Well, to be honest, it actually sounded like there was an actual person walking around here,” he explained to everyone what he thought it was. “That’s what it sounded like to me too,” you stated. “But there’s no one here,” he said. 

“That’s weird,” Dakota said. “Yeah, it really is.” you agreed. 

Chelsea sat on the chair outside of the bathroom while Dakota headed in to check it out. 

You stood outside by her. “Chels, this place…” you trailed off. “I can’t explain it. It’s just, it’s so sad Chelsea.” you expressed to her. You felt tears come to your eyes. She reached for your hand and held it comfortingly. “I know, it’s so sad up here.” she agreed with you. 

You looked around with your camera and showed the old walls encasing the intense energy from the spirits that still lingered there. 

You heard your boyfriend speak from inside the bathroom. “Woah. my ear is just ringing,”  he said. “Really?” Tanner asked. You furrowed your brows. 

“Dakota, are you ok?” you questioned with worry in your voice. 

“Oh,” Dakota’s jaw cracked. 

“Ooh, I just heard your jaw crack,” Tanner said

“That was weird.” your boyfriend said.

 You moved from your position and walked toward the bathroom. You politely asked Tanner if you could get by and moved forward to your boyfriend’s side. “Babe, are you ok?” you asked while placing your hand on his shoulder and rubbing up and down his arm in a comforting manner.  “Yeah, I’m ok it’s just weird that’s all,” he said. 

Tanner moved away from the doorway, and you turned your flashlight on. You reached your hand up and placed it on Dakotas cheek, gently running your thumb over his jaw. “You sure babe, do you need a break?” you asked affection and worry blatant in your tone. 

“No, no I’ll be ok,” he reassured you and kissed your head. “You better be telling the truth, Dakota Laden,” you warned him. “I am, I’ll be ok I promise,” he said and you leaned up to kiss his jaw before nodding and turning to exit the small bathroom. 

You walked out and joined the rest of the group. You all decided that it was a good time to take a seat and see if you could communicate with anything/anyone. 

“Alright. So right now. We are sitting on the ground right next to the suicide bathroom, Which is behind Tanner and (y/n).”  Dakota said. You looked around the room hoping to make something out in the dark. 

“Rebecca, are you here?” He spoke up once again. You were just thinking in your head about how hard her situation was. Once again tears came to your eyes, and your chest began to feel heavy. 

You tried to calm your breathing before speaking. “Rebecca, if you’re here, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you went through all of the things you did.” you let out with a shaky breath. You could feel Tanner’s eyes shift over to you. The room was silent. “(y/n), are you ok?” he asked and placed a hand on your back. You jumped at his touch but sighed in relief when you realized it was just him. You cleared your throat. “Um, yeah… I just, it’s so sad up here. I can’t even imagine how she felt.” you relayed your thoughts for the group. “I know, it’s so heavy in here. I can’t begin to even try to understand all of this.” Chelsea spoke. You wiped your tears and tried to calm yourself down. Silence ran rampant in the room, all of you sitting and hoping for a response. 

After a while, Dakota spoke up. 

“It’s weird though, like,  we came up here, we heard a bunch of noises just at the top of the stairs right there. and we get to the bathroom here and it’s just silent.” you nod though he can’t see you. 

“I don’t know what that means.” he finished. 

You sat for a few more seconds before you all decided it was time to move on. Tanner got up first and held out his hand to help you up. You gladly took it and thanked him. 

The flashlights were turned on again to head downstairs. Tanner looked down at you with a careful look in his eyes. You could feel his protectiveness canvassing the area as he stood by you. “Are you ok (y/n)? I know it was especially hard for you up there,” he asked with a protective hand resting on your shoulder. “I think so. I don’t know why it hit me so hard, it just all of a sudden came crashing down on me,” you answered genuinely. He wrapped his arm around you in a side hug. “I’m not sure either, but it will be ok,” he reassured you and you hugged him back before following the others down the stairs. 

“Well, let’s take the staircase down to the electroshock therapy room,” Dakota instructed before heading down the stairs first, Chelsea went next, and Tanner followed her. After them, you headed down as well which left Alex to the back of the pack. When you got down the stairs you turned around to check on him and make sure he was doing ok seeing as neither of you had been there before. “You ok?” you checked on him. “Yeah, I’m doing ok. How are you doing? It was pretty rough for you up there.” “I’m ok now, it was just so heavy up there it was hard to think about all that had happened in that room.” he nodded. “Yeah, I agree.” 

“I still can’t believe we agree to this shit.” He said quietly to you, and you chuckled softly. “I know, we really need to set some boundaries.” you joked. “I don’t understand us,” he said while shaking his head. “Neither do I Al, neither do I.” You trailed off with a smile on your face and a shake of your head. 

“Oh gosh, it’s heavier down here,” Dakota stated as you all hit the bottom of the staircase. “This is the electroshock therapy room. I remember this place.” you all wandered into the room where you ended up next to Dakota. “Oh, the hospital bed,” he said and you turn your camera to show the bed. It gave you chills knowing how many people were hurt and tortured down there. 

“People had to endure this…” you breathed out. “It’s torture.” Dakota turned to look at you silently assessing your state, wanting to make sure you were doing ok. 

He nudged your arm and began to walk around the bed to make room for everybody else. You followed suit and once again stood by his side feeling the safest next to him. 

You decided to be the one to ask. 

“Is there anyone down here with us?” the question left your lips and hung in the air. You once again got no responses and decided to move forward with the investigation. 

Dakota made sure to keep you closer to him than he had been, seeing as he was getting a bad feeling as you went further into the building. 

He held his camera with one hand and juggled his flashlight in the other while trying to grab your hand as well as hold the light. It almost made a smile break out on your face as he desperately tried to make it work. Instead, you decided to hold onto his wrist so he could keep the light in his hand. He looked down at you and smiled. “I think that’s a solution that will suffice,” you said and let your thumb gently rest over where you could feel his steady pulse beneath his skin. 

You continued on your way. 

“Alright. So the subbasement is where the demonic spirit named Red is.” Dakota pointed out as you furthered your descent. 

“Oh no, I don’t like this. I don’t like this.” Your boyfriend expressed. “I don’t either it feels intimidating down here. I can see part of the reason people don’t come down here.” you clarified your weariness. 

“This is the notorious boiler room,” Dakota said as you all entered the dark room. 

“Is there anybody down here?” he asked as you all settled into your positions. Your head rested on Dakota’s shoulder. “Do you not want us down here?” he asked another question. Still, the silence was all you received. “Can you touch one of us?” he questioned. Your eyes widened at his inquiry. “Dakota please be careful,” you whispered to him. “Nothing has happened everything is just fine babe.” he tried to soothe you. You rolled your eyes and let out a sigh. “Just please be careful,” you advised once again. “I will be.” he kissed the top of your head. 

 Exiting the room you all continued down the hallway with your flashlights pointed ahead of you. 

This time it was you in the lead, you had no idea where you were going but Dakota had his hand resting on the small of your back ushering you forward. 

He then walked ahead of you with his camera up. “This is the infamous bowling alley.” he described. 

You walked further into the room and a feeling of being watched immediately washed over you and so you slightly hid behind your boyfriend in an attempt to comfort yourself. 

Without warning an unexplainable voice was sounded through the quiet room. Your eyes widened as you got closer to your boyfriend. 

“Woah did you hear that?” Tanner inquired in either curiosity or fear, you couldn’t tell. 

You looked up at Dakota just to see him donning a look of discomfort. “Dude my ear is ringing again,” he stated and you moved to face him. You put your flashlight in a pocket and reached up to place a hand on his face. “Are you ok Kota?” you asked with anxious eyes. 

“Dude, that was a little voice. Guys did you not hear that voice?” Tanner asked while turning to look at you guys. “Oh, are you ok?” he worriedly wondered. “My ear is just ringing.” Tanner took long strides toward you Chels and Kota. “The second you heard that my ear started ringing again this time it’s my right ear,” Dakota stated. You looked up at him with unease. “Babe, maybe we should get you out of here for a while. Get you some fresh air,” you suggested soothingly. Before he could respond to your suggestion Tanner speaks up. “Dude, what?” he asked in disbelief. 

He made a noise of discomfort and you looked to Chelsea who had the same amount of worry in her eyes. “Are you…” Tanner was cut off by Dakota speaking up. “I’m ok.” he tried to set everybody at ease. “Ok.” Tanner wearily stated. 

“I’m ok. I don’t know what’s going on.” still your suggestion was swept under the rug. 

He took a step away from you. “I just feel like whatever’s down here is just waiting. It knows we’re gonna be here for a long time.” Dakota let the words slip from his mouth. His words gave you chills. It made you think about how true it was, and what it would do to you if you came down here alone to sleep. 

Having enough of the bowling alley you all made your way back upstairs until Tanner brought everything to a halt. 

“hold on a second. Stop.” he pauses on the way up. “What, what is it?” you ask eagerly. 

“Yo, Al come over here.” Alex walks up next to Tanner behind Dakota. 

“Dude,” Alex said in shock. You looked at him with scared eyes and tried to get a look at what they were seeing. “What?”  Dakota asked anxiously. 

“There’s a handprint,” Tanner explained what he was seeing on Dakota’s jacket. You looked at it and your heart sped up, your worries for his and their safety were beginning to amplify. 

“There’s a handprint on your back babe,” you answer in shock and awe of what you were seeing. 

“What does it look like?” Dakota asked. You came to stand in front of him again. 

“Dude, it’s a thumb, finger, finger, finger, pinkie.” both Tanner and Alex describe to him. 

Dakota tried to look back to maybe get a glimpse of the marking. 

“Are you serious?” he questions startled. “Swear to God, dude,” Tanner assures. 

“I mean, put your arm down.” Dakota lowers his arm to his side. “Yeah like that. That looks like if I went like this.” he raised his hand. “Here. I’m just gonna put it over. It’s gonna ruin the mark, but we got the mark.” he moved his hand forward and placed it on his back. “It looks like this,” Tanner told everyone while demonstrating. 

“I mean, it’s even bigger than my hand.” you tried to swallow your fear as you reached for his hand. He held it tightly in his own. “What?” he questioned. “I did just say “Can you touch one of us?” “ you let go of his hand and turned away. “I knew you should’ve been more careful,” you mumbled to yourself. 

Your head snapped back up as his voice rose. “Woah! Woah! My battery is about to die.” he showed it to the camera that Tanner held. Chelsea saw the distress written on your features and walked over to you as the boys continued to freak out. 

She wrapped her arm around your shoulder and you leaned into her for comfort. 

“We haven’t had a camera die all night,” she said. “I know…” you trailed off before escaping her grip. They all looked to you with worried eyes as you stood in eerie silence.

After everything, Dakota decided it was best to take a break. You couldn’t agree more. 

--

Taglist:

@jaziona92 @beautybyfire​

@thefandomthings​

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Prey for You | Part 6

Genre: Smut, angst.

Word Count: 5.6k

Summary: As Chan gets closer to his heat and you get closer to Felix, things are bound to come to a head.

Warnings: super unhealthy relationship, dom!chan, sub!reader, spanking, exhibitionism, breeding kink, violence, big dick chan, fingering, enemies to lovers, wolf!hybrid chan, fox!hybrid reader

(If you know the owner of this gif pls let me know so I can credit them)

You barely spend any time in the house anymore, only going back to sleep. Chan can’t seem to grasp the fact that it’s really over. He keeps trying to talk his way back into your life like last time, but you don’t give him the chance. You’re afraid if you listen to him, he’ll trick you again.

You end up spending more and more time with Felix, something that angers Chan greatly. He even tries to tell Felix to stay away from you, as the cat begrudgingly admitted to you one day, but he refused. And you’re ever so grateful for that. You don’t really have any friends and if you did, you’re such none of them could hold a candle to Felix.

He was such a sweetheart in a way that was almost too good to believe. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t been through the same sort of stuff you have, and cat hybrids in general are more favored and accepted than fox hybrids. Or maybe it’s because he found a group of friends that accepted him for who he was and never doubted him. But he seemed to have so much faith and trust in the world that you could never come close to. Still, just being in his positive presence rubbed off on you a little and gave you a smidge of happiness by proxy.

It was much needed, as the closer Chan got to his heat, the more explosive his temper became. Unfortunately for you, the mere fact that you were spending time with Felix fueled his anger, and he would fly into rage every time you’d come back home smelling like the cat. So any sense of cheerfulness you may have gotten from Felix was quickly smashed to the ground the moment you walked through the door.

It also wasn’t helping that he hasn’t hooked up with anyone ever since your last time together, and not satisfying what his body was literally demanding from him just made things ten times worse. But he persisted, trying till the end to convince you to spend his heat with him. You refused, of course.

Until finally, he informs you that you will have to leave the house for a few days as he will be bringing someone over to spend his heat with him. He wanted to rent a hotel room for you but you told him you already had a place to stay. He asks where you’ll stay, the grimace already on his face telling you that he knew the answer; you’ll be with Felix.

You pack your bag with the things you’ll be needing for the next few days under Chan’s watchful eyes. He stays silent until it’s time for you to leave. That’s when he takes your hand in his, proclaiming earnestly, “I really didn’t want to do this. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” You mumble, trying to move away but he grips your hand tighter, looking down at it intensely. "Please don't stay with Felix. I'll get you a five star hotel suite."

You wrench away from him. "Because I'll ruin him?"

"No." He shakes his head vehemently. "Just please. For me?"

You snort. "I don't owe you shit, Chan."

_______________________

You can barely sit still. Just knowing that Chan was with another woman right now made you sick to your stomach, and once again, you find your traitorous heart wishing you had given in to him. This just hurts too much. 

Felix is concerned about you, and he does all he can think of to take your mind off of it. He talks to you. He bakes you cookies. He cuddles with you. He tries to distract you in any way, but nothing works. 

Finally, he brings out the alcohol, knowing that that’s what helped you last time. You throw yourself into it, downing glass after glass to snuff out your jealousy and pain, but all that accomplishes is getting you more disinhibited and loud. 

“I can’t take it, Felix. He’s with another woman right now when he should be with me.”

“No. You deserve so much better.” Felix insists, trying to contain you in his embrace but you’re fidgeting too much. “Chan didn’t treat you right.”

“But he can, right? I mean he loves you so much. Maybe if we just try--” You maniacally explain but Felix’s angelic face twists into a scowl. “Do you even know the kind of stuff he used to say about you? That was the first time that I’ve ever looked down on him--when he was being so unfair to you.” 

You gulp, heart wrenching at the thought of the kind of things he must’ve said to his friends that would anger Felix so much. “But...what can I do, Lixie? It hurts so bad.”

Felix cups your face, so soft and delicate, looking into your eyes adoringly. “Let me take your mind off it.” He whispers. 

“What?” The word barely leaves your lips before his own lips are on you, kissing you tenderly. 

 You freeze in shock as Felix’s lips move over yours, trying to get you to reciprocate, but you pull away. "Kitty… don't."

He doesn’t let you go. “Stop thinking about him, please. Focus on me.” He coaxes, pressing his lips to yours in light pecks, his gaze pulling you in. 

You give into the soft feeling of his lips on yours. So far nothing has worked to ease your mind. Maybe this will. It feels nice kissing him, he’s soft and malleable, working with you according to what you want, letting you lead the kiss when you’re ready. 

You get closer to each other by the second, and when you pull him onto your lap, his crotch rubs against your thigh, and he moans out. 

“Are you hard already, kitty?” You tug on his hair, pulling his head away and restricting his answering nod.

You slide your hands down his body and pull his pants down over his dick, freeing it. “What a cute little dick, Lixie.” You coo, seeing his small member red and twitching against his abdomen. 

He blushes, burying his face in your neck and moaning out as you wrap your hand around his dick. “Fits just right in my hand.” You jerk him, the boy easily whining.

“Does it feel good, kitty?” 

“Y-yeah.” He kisses your neck wetly, trailing down towards your chest and mouthing at your breast through your top. “So good. Been wanting this for so long.” 

“You did? And here I thought you’re an innocent kitty.” 

“I am. I’m a good kitty.” He moans, trying to kiss you again but you keep his head away.

“Do good kitties lust after their friend’s girl?” 

His face morphs with annoyance, surprising you. “Shut up about him.” The way he spoke threw you off. It was unlike him and you were annoyed by the unexpected change. Narrowing your eyes at him, you hiss warningly, “Felix...” 

“Chan is literally balls deep in another girl right now. Fuck him.” He huffs insolently, his hands going up to grope your chest. 

You slap him, the wetness of his precum sticking to his cheek. “Shut up.”

“Why do you still care about him after all he's done to you?” He asks angrily. 

“Because I love him!” You find yourself answering easily. You do love him, despite everything he put you through. 

“He doesn’t deserve your love. He’s a fucking asshole.”

“He’s your best friend. He thinks of you like a brother!” You know you shouldn't defend him but you also know that Chan would be absolutely devastated if he found out that's what Felix thinks of him. It was never your intention to drive a wedge between them.

Felix scoffs, getting off you and adjusting his clothes irritably. “Yeah and I have to forever follow his every word or I’ll be an ungrateful bastard, right? I thought you out of everyone else would understand!”

“Understand what?” You exclaim. 

“When Chan took me under his wing,” Felix begins, voice gruff with a bitterness you’re all too familiar with. “I was so blown away by how nice that is, that I basically worshipped him. And he liked that about me. I know he loves me but a big part of that is because I contribute to making him feel better about himself. Chan is so fucking obsessed with having people like and respect him. That’s the entire reason he’s so ashamed of you, because you don’t fit his perfect image.”

His words lash at you. You already knew very well that’s how Chan thinks but to hear it said out loud to you by Felix just makes it hurt more.

“So when I came in, all puppy eyed and full of praise, he was ecstatic to have me around--his own personal cheerleader. And I was happy to give that to him. Hell, the guys saved my life, right? But now I can’t get out of that role. I can’t disobey anything he says or go against his word or he’d take it as a betrayal because Chan is always fucking right. Chan always knows best.”

"Felix don't be stupid. I’m sure if you just talked to him, he’d understand.”

“Yeah, like he understood you?” 

You reel back, stung, and you quietly say, “You’re different. He loves you so much, Felix. He almost ripped my head off when he found out I had hung out with you. He was so worried about you.”

Felix laughs at that. “You got it all wrong. He wasn’t worried about me. He was jealous and afraid I’ll steal you from him.” 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” You exclaim, the entire conversation thrusting your brain in a confused daze, but you quickly quiet down as you hear the sounds of keys. You look at Felix in alarm, silently asking who could it be, and from the way his face pales, you already know the answer.

Your heart drops in your stomach and your throat closes up as the door swings open to reveal a distressed Chan. He lets out a little sigh of relief when he sees you, and he starts making his way towards you. "Oh, baby. I couldn't do it. Please come home."

Suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks, face turning to stone and eyes deadly as he takes in the scent of your and Felix's arousal in the air. You see nothing but bloody murder in his eyes as they regard you, and you think he might actually kill you this time. After all, it’s the peak of his heat, he apparently hasn’t slept with the woman he was supposed to, and you had just messed around with his best friend. He must be angry, riled up, and frantic. He’s capable of doing anything.

But instead of attacking you, he pounds towards Felix, screaming at him, “You fucking bastard!” He swings at Felix, the force of his punch throwing the smaller boy to the ground. He doesn’t stop there though, aiming kicks at the crumpled form of the cat on the floor. 

“Chan, no!” You scream, rushing towards them but Chan yanks you away, gritting out, “Don’t touch him.” 

“Chan, please--” You beg, hoping to stop him from assaulting Felix again, but then the boy on the ground sits up, spitting the blood out of his mouth, and regarding Chan with a dark look you've never even thought the cute cat was capable of. “What is it, hyung? The bitch’s pussy wasn’t tight enough for you?” 

Chan throws you to the side and jumps on Felix again, pummeling his face with punches. The cat can barely do anything to protect himself, let alone retaliate--the power difference just too great between them. 

You rush towards them again, trying to stop the wolf’s attacks. “Stop it, Chan! You’re gonna kill him!” 

He stops, and Felix slumps on the ground, groaning and bloody. You try to get closer to check on him but Chan grabs you by the hair and pulls your face close to his. “Is this what you wanted, baby? Am I predator enough for you now?” 

“Puppy, please, don’t do this.” You beseech, pulling at his arm. “Let’s go home. Let me take care of you.” 

“You can take care of me here.” He replies coldly.

“W-what?” You yelp as he gets off Felix and pushes you over his body instead. “Since he decided to touch what wasn’t his, I’m gonna fuck you right in front of his eyes.”

You and Felix stare at each other in horror as Chan’s hands rip your pants off. You quickly notice the malice in his eyes, and you grab his arms, your hands clenching down on them with all your might and your eyes silently begging him to stay down. He’d have no chance against Chan if he tried, and you really don’t think he can take any more punches. 

“Please.” You mouth, hoping the concern in your eyes would get through to him. He grits his teeth but stays down, and you let out a small sigh of relief that turns into a shocked squeak as you feel Chan’s hand coming down on your ass. 

“I am the one in heat and I couldn’t bear to sleep with someone else. But you were just gonna fuck my best friend that easily?” He growls, giving your ass another smack that makes you jolt. He doesn’t hold back, his fingers spread wide to strike as much of your cheek as he can. 

“No!” You shake your head forcefully, making up for your uncertainty. The truth is you aren’t sure if you would’ve gone through with it or not, and that made you feel ashamed of yourself. Yes, Chan had hurt you but you wouldn’t have gone so low as to fuck the guy he thought of as his brother, right?  “I wasn’t.” 

"But you let him touch you." He snarls, giving you another hard slap before soothing the skin again. "Tell me, did you let him touch you here?" He pulls your panties to the side and rubs his fingers lightly over your pussy.

"No!" You shake your head, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach and you find yourself pushing your ass back into his fingers. But instead of touching you, he smacks your ass once more. 

Soothing his hand over the punished skin, he drawls, "It doesn’t matter. When I'm done with you, no one will have any doubt who you belong to." Then he spanks you again. And again. And again. 

You’re surprised by how you don’t have any desire to stop his actions. On the contrary, it felt good to finally be claimed by him. You longed for him to love you openly and willingly, and with the effect of the heat, that is exactly what he was doing. You could smell how aroused he is, and how much he wanted to fuck you. And you wanted him to. Messing around with Felix only made you crave Chan more, and like a horny bitch you couldn’t wait for him to give it to you, even in front of Felix--especially in front of Felix. You wanted to prove to him as much as to yourself that you could be Chan’s. 

“Is this what you wished to have, Lixie?" He asks the boy under you. "She has such a pretty pussy, doesn’t she? So tight…” He nudges a finger in, curling it. “But it's all mine." 

The boy under you glares up at him and you dig your fingers into his biceps, once again begging him not to fight back. 

"Puppy, please. Let’s just go home" You coax, trying to get the two boys away from each other.

“No. He’s gonna sit there and watch me breed your little pussy.” Chan says, pulling his finger out then pushing it in again, his other hand continuing to spank you. 

You think you hear a low growl coming from Felix but it’s hard concentrated over the squelching sounds of Chan’s fingers pumping in and out of your drenched pussy at a rapid pace. Delighting in the way you are rocking yourself against his hand and clenching around his finger, Chan praises you. “Good girl. You know who you belong to, don’t you?” 

“Chan--”

His finger curls inside of you and his hand falls on your ass harshly. “Don’t you, baby?” 

You know he’s not to be provoked right now. “Yes. I belong to you.” 

“That’s my good little fox.” He grunts, pushing another finger inside you. “Would he be able to make you lose it like this just from his fingers? Have you fucking back on his fingers like a bitch in heat?” 

“No, puppy. Only you can.”  You answer while looking Felix in the eye, and you’re turned on, you could feel your arousal leaking down your leg. 

“You like this, don’t you, little slut? Is this what you were waiting for?” 

“No… I-I” You stutter, feeling yourself getting close despite your denial. Chan can tell and he speeds up even more, causing the palm of the hand he is fingering you with to keep smacking against your pussy. As your walls start spasming around his fingers, he takes them out, leaving you clenching around nothing. But he doesn’t stop touching you, his fingers rubbing over your lips relentlessly, forcing you into a painful high and never letting you down. You shake in his grip, squealing and begging him to stop. “Chan---I can’t, please!”

You try to pull away but he snakes an arms around your waist and keeps your ass in the air, his fingers forcing you into another orgasm. Your hips jerk in his hold, trying to break away, and you beg. “It h-hurts, Chan...ahhhh---please, stop! Please!” 

Finally he stops, and your body goes limp, almost falling onto Felix if it weren’t from the arm Chan has around you. As you sit there, panting and held up by Chan, he brings his other hand to your face and pushes the fingers that were just inside you into your mouth. You can barely breathe around the intrusion, so short of breath already, but you do your best to suck on them like you know he wants. 

“Good girl.” He pushes your shirt over your breasts and palms one of them greedily.  "Want me to fuck your pussy, my pretty fox?" He purrs, pulling his fingers out of your mouth, and--wet with your saliva-- he rubs them over your other breast. Despite the agonizing orgams you just had, you find yourself arching into his touch and rubbing your thighs together.

“Yes, puppy. Need you to fuck me.” 

You let out a shaky breath as he pulls your panties to your knees. You hear the sound of pants unzipping before you feel the head of his cock pressing against your entrance and slowly nudging in. You briefly wonder how you were ever able to take him. Sensing your worry, he pushes in more of his dick. “No, no backing down now. You’re going to be a good fox and take my cock, won’t you, baby?” 

“Yes, Channie.” You grit. It’s been so long since you’ve taken him, and you know this is gonna hurt despite how drenched you were. Still, you were excited, having learnt to appreciate the painful stretch now. Maybe he was right all along--he’d ruined you for all your pretty boys, trained you to crave his dick only.

He holds you still to prevent you from wiggling away as he continues to inch his dick inside you. “Take it. You wanted me to claim you and now you’re going to be good and take it.” He leans over and mouths at your neck. Instead of kisses, he nibs at your skin, the sharp pain of his canines plucking at the skin taking your attention away from the dull pain of his dick breaching your pussy. 

Once he’s all the way in, he laps his tongue at your neck soothingly. “There. Good girl.” 

You wince as he pulls his hips back slowly then thrusts back in all at once, a yelp coming out of you as his dick hits deep inside you. He chuckles, his hips picking up speed. “I have so much cum for you, you’ll be dripping my seed for days.” 

You can do nothing but whimper, holding tightly onto Felix as Chan’s hips slap against your ass and his dick pistons in and out of you. It feels like it’s the first time fucking him for how much your pussy suffers. But for as much pain it gives you, it also gives pleasure, and you feel euphoric. 

"I'll make sure no one touches you ever again. Gonna breed you everyday and make you walk around with my cum dripping from your pussy so everyone knows who you belong to." He growls, and you know he’s staring down at Felix from the way the other boy was glaring at him. “Do you want that, baby?” 

You open your mouth to reply but all that cums out is an incomprehensible garble so you give up, mouth left hanging open. 

"Look at that, Felix. I’ve fucked her dumb." He gloats, pushing your shirt up and fondling your tits. “And you thought your little dick could ever please her. She wouldn’t have even felt it after getting fucked open by me. Isn’t that right, baby girl?” 

Chan’s voice is gruff as his hips drive into you even harder, and you know he’s close. You nod, pleading. “Yes---p-please puppy---ahh cum.” 

“You want me to cum inside you? Want me to make you mine?” He growls in your ear, and you whimper, your legs buckling under you. He holds your hips up, his dick drilling into you. “Ok, baby girl. There you go. Take it all.” His dick spasms inside of you, his hot cum quickly filling up your tight pussy.

You feel so satisfied filled up like this. It feels right, and you wish you could stay in this moment forever--his arms wrapped securely around you and his face nuzzling softly into your neck as he whispers soft praises into your ear. 

But of course it can’t, especially not with the hostile cat lying under you. 

Chan is not done taunting Felix though. Pulling out of you, he inserts two fingers into your pussy and curls them as he pulls out, making the cum inside you gush out. Then he leans over you and brushes his cum stained fingers over Felix’s bloody cheek. The cat tenses up, hissing threateningly, but you quickly intervene, croaking out, “Channie…Please, let’s go.”

Chan huffs, pulling your panties back on and zipping up his own pants before he scoops you up in his arms. He sits you down on the couch and helps you put your pants back on. As he starts getting dressed too. Felix sits up, looking worse for wear but hopefully not seriously injured. You’re worried that Felix would be stupid enough to attack him but to your relief, he stays seated where he was, the both of them just glaring at each other. 

Before it can escalate beyond the dirty looks, you put a hand to Chan’s back, pulling his attention towards you. “I want to go now.” You coax, “Please.” 

Chan sighs and nods, carrying you in his arms and walking out of the apartment. 

__

When you get back to his house, Chan sets you down on your bed. 

Cupping your cheeks, he asks softly, “Do you want to take a shower?” 

You shake your head, too tired to even stand up at this point. Nodding, he pulls your soiled clothes off your body, doing his best to wipe you off before he grabs one of his hoodies and pulls it over your head. 

When he’s done, he just stands there awkwardly like he wants to say something but is unsure how to start. 

You sigh, defeated. “Just say what you want to say, Chan.”

His gaze is set on you, suddenly resolute, and he states firmly. "I want you to give me a chance." 

You scoff in disbelief. "I've given you plenty of chances."

"No.” He insists, jaw set and tone unrelenting. “You never really did. You always had your mind made up about me from the beginning. I want a real chance this time." 

“You think you deserve it after all you’ve done? You've never even apologized for any of the shit you put me through, Chan!"

“I’m sorry." He apologizes at once, with no hesitation, and you’re taken aback. “Why suddenly? Did I have to ask you for it?”

"No. I was being an idiot and a coward. I cared more about my reputation than I did about you and that was wrong.” His jaw clenches and he looks at you intensely. “But I wasn’t the only one at fault. You were no angel either.”

You open your mouth to protest but he stops you. “Just shut up and listen for once.” He shouts, frustrated, and begins pacing around the room, one hand messing up his hair while the other gestures wildly as he explains. 

“I was scared to tell people I was with you when I wasn’t even sure you were going to stay. Any time I tried to get close to you, you would always reject me. You made me feel so worthless and unwanted. You never thought of me as a real predator, and you made sure to throw that in my face every chance you got. Tell me how could I trust you when you looked at me like I didn’t even deserve to be a predator? That my mere existence was a shame? Have you ever apologized to me for that?” He challenges, stopping his pacing and waiting for your answer, but you couldn’t give him one. You just stare down at your hands to avoid his condemning gaze. No, you never apologized. 

“I didn’t think so.” He scoffs sourly,  “You know what the worst thing is? I believed you. I’ve always doubted myself and wondered if I’m weak and inept, wondered if I could ever be enough. And there you were, so contemptuously telling me that I am not."

"So it's my own fault you treated me like I was something to be ashamed of?" You ask incredulously. “That you didn’t even stand up for me in front of your friends?”

"No! I just want you to see it from my perspective for once." He yells, frustrated at how you seemed to twist his words. “That night at the studio, I thought we were getting somewhere. I thought that for the first time you were starting to trust me and respect me. That you could maybe see me as something more than the impotent predator you always thought I was. But as soon as I attempted to confess to you, you pulled back like I disgusted you. You undid everything I was trying to build with that one look.”

“So yeah, I was fucking bitter about it, and when my friends showed up and realized you were there, they fucking laid it on me, asking me what the fuck I was doing and reminding me how hard I had been on Jisung because of you before, and I just felt fucking stupid and humiliated by them--by you!”

“Still, I wanted to apologize after I’d calmed down but by then you wouldn’t even listen to me. You’re so fucking stubborn you know?” He smiles wetly. 

He waits for you to say something but you just remain frozen, trying to make sense of everything that he said. You had always viewed Chan as the dangerous party here, the one who was most capable of hurt, that you never stopped to ask if you were hurting him. You guess, deep down, you never really believed he cared for you and so you didn’t consider the idea that your rejection would affect him. 

Coming close again, he sits on the bed next to you and props your chin up to make you look at him. “But I never lied to you, my pretty fox. You are special to me and I love you.” You can see the sincerity in his eyes, but something still nags at you. 

“What about what you said to me about Felix? How you actually care about him?” You chew on your lip, worried about his answer. 

Letting you go, he rubs a hand over his face and lets out a tired laugh. “I was fucking jealous for god’s sake--something you would've been able to tell easily if you had paid any attention to how I was feeling.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, feeling defensive. “But why would you assume I would go after Felix?” 

“Because you and him make way more sense than you and I. He’s much more your type than I ever was. He’s kind and compassionate and sweet. I was terrified that you’d fall right into his arms, and I’d never be able to compete. I would lose both my lover and my best friend.” 

“Okay.” You say slowly, trying to make sense of all this new information and relating them to your own emotions. “But all of that still doesn’t excuse the fact that you completely fucked with my already tennous sense of self worth, Chan. You made me feel that for once, someone might actually love me and want me despite what I am, only for you to then immediately pull the rug out from under my feet and try to distance yourself from me.” 

“I know, and I was wrong and I wish I could take it all back.” He laments sadly, “But I was hurt too. You never made it easy” 

“You’re right. I’m sorry too.” You finally apologize, and you mean it. You never even suspected the extent to which your actions and words have affected him. You thought you were the only one who truly cared and you did everything in your power to hide that from him so he wouldn’t hurt you with it. 

“But,” You take a deep breath, almost wishing you could stop here and just forgive him and take him back. But you know you can’t. You’d just come back here again. “I don’t if I can trust you.”

"Don't then.” He answers simply and you’re lost. “I'm not sure I trust you either.”

You frown, even more confused, and he continues. “Neither of us has really earned the other’s trust. But we can try." He pauses, brushing your hair out of your face and looking you deep in the eyes. "Do you love me still?"

"Yes." There is no use denying it, you do. 

"Then let's earn each other’s trust. I can't promise that I'll never hurt you again but I can promise that I'll do everything in my power not to. I'll never hide you again. I'll do all I can to fix the mistakes that I've made and try to be a boyfriend you'd be proud of. But I need your help. You need to try too."

"I'm scared." You say in a small voice, and he pulls you towards his body, resting his head against yours. "I am too. I'm fucking terrified. But I will never forgive myself if I don't give us another chance."

You take a long pause, the world seeming to hold its breath as you make up your mind. Chan certainly is. And just that, the fact that he looks to be hanging so much onto your decision as if his life depends on it, is what makes it easy for you to choose. He is giving you what you’ve been after all this time--he’s showing you that he wants you and that he cares. And that’s all you needed from him. 

“Okay. Let’s do it.” 

The smile that lights up his face is gorgeous, and you’re sorry to dim it before it has the chance to fully bloom. “But you have to promise me one thing first.” 

“Anything.” He answers confidently as if there wasn’t anything in the world he couldn’t do for you.

“You have to promise me that you’ll forgive Felix.” 

He clearly didn’t see that one coming from the way he pulls back and his smile disappears like it was never there. “I can’t do that. He's the only one I have told what you were to me. He’s the only one that knew. And he tried to take you away from me!” 

“He’s just misguided.” You try to explain. “He’s young and restless and he doesn’t know who he is because he was never allowed to explore himself or the world. You’ve always dictated to him what to do and how to feel.”

“So you’re on his side?” Chan asks incredulously, “He betrayed me!”

“I did too but you forgive me. He deserves forgiveness too. The only reason he got so upset about the way you were treating me is because he saw himself in me. He’s scared that you’d abandon him if he does anything you don’t approve of and so he freaked out and crossed the line.” 

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and stand up, wobbling on your feet and Chan rushes to steady you. You take the chance to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him close, whispering gently to him, “He just needs some space, that’s all. And trust. Show him that you have a little faith in him, and he’ll come around. I know he will.” 

You kiss the corner of Chan’s mouth and he turns his head slightly so he can kiss you fully. You kiss him back passionately, helping him stay grounded as he takes his time to come to a decision. 

Finally, he pulls away, eyes still closed. “Okay.”

You smile happily, eyes getting a little misty at the extent of emotions filling up your chest. And for the first time in a while, they’re mostly good. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

___________________________

A/N: I will literally die if you don’t tell me what you think of the ending

[straight-into-the-animus]

(Not) Getting Married Today (French Fryes)

This was a fic request for my amazing pal @etzee-ohs that was a long time coming, but finals kept getting in the way. Sorry about the wait and I really hope you enjoy it!!

Read on Ao3

Jacob could hear Evie’s heels clacking on the tile as she came into the bathroom, and quickly slid the lock shut on the stall door.

“This is the men’s room!” He tried to protest, but it came off as more a whine.

“Why’d you run off?”

“I had to piss.” Jacob scooted back on the toilet, almost willing his body to become more compact to avoid being seen.

“Are you a racehorse? You did it twice before we left the house as well.” Evie must have found where he was, since he could see through the gap in the bottom that her short heels and bottom of her pantsuit stopped in front of his stall door.

“Maybe I had a lot of water.”

“Are you even dressed? The ceremony is in an hour.”

Yes, Jacob was somewhat dressed. And no, Jacob didn’t need to be reminded of the time crunch. Arno’s family had gone full out with renting a hall for the ceremony and reception, a lovely villa in the countryside that was way too clean for the rustic look it was going for.

They said they want to take care of it all, Arno had smiled, obviously happy his family had such a blessing and wanted to help, and Jacob tried to get away with a joke that he still wanted a say in the catering and cake -- which he did get the choice of, and thoroughly enjoyed so much that he had hard times with every cake. It wasn’t going to be a big wedding, just the people closest to them. For the past thirty minutes even Jacob where he was had been able to hear the sound of tires crunching on gravel as expectant guests rolled up, and all made excited and general conversation. Jacob was a simple man and would’ve been happy to have a courthouse ceremony in their pajamas, so to get married in a hall was more than he ever dreamed of getting. But in the year and a half it took, neither of them backed out. Jacob didn’t say anything, never questioned Arno and why he wanted this, and he was regretting it.

It wasn’t to say he didn’t want to spend forever attached to Arno, because he did. He knew that even if they ended up splitting, which killed Jacob to think of, he’d never marry again because Arno would’ve been it. But he didn’t want Arno to spend forever attached to him.

“It’s not too late to run, right? I mean. We’re not gonna get the deposit back. I can send something to compensate Arno’s stepdad. You think they’ll accept American money?”

“I’ll drag you back if you think of leaving.”

“Can you just stop, Evie? You’re not helping.” Jacob got off the toilet and opened the door, taking in the concern of his sister’s face. “Why the fuck would Arno wanna marry me?”

“Because he obviously loves you. Can’t you see that? He asked you, right?”

“He asked ‘cause he doesn’t know anything.”

“You’re calling him stupid now?”

“No! Or- yes. Stupidly romantic. It sounds like a good idea but it’s just gonna be a pain in the ass for him eventually.”

Evie fixed him with a look that just seemed to scream that he was an idiot, and he hated it with all his heart because he knew he wasn’t. She spoke, slow and measured, and even if Jacob didn’t want to listen he did.

“You’re not a pain in the ass.” At Jacob’s snort, she rolled her eyes. “Not most of the time. Right now you’re pushing it a bit. But I think Arno really did know what he was doing when he proposed. Have you ever known Arno to back down on anything?”

And Jacob hadn’t -- it was why he was the best at pulling Arno away from fights or at the very least supervising to make sure it didn’t go too far. And why their rare arguments lasted for days sometimes. But he refused to answer and went to wash his hands all the same to avoid her.

“Okay, just- Just don’t cancel anything. Please. We can figure things out.” Evie put a hand on his shoulder and led him out the restroom to go to his actual room, getting no fight in the action. He felt like a livewire and she had to sense it by the way he was silent for once. “I need to step out for a minute to talk to someone and you’re going to relax. Okay?”

Jacob glared but did as asked, looking all the picture of a petulant and scared child as he sat down on the cream sofa.

--------------

Evie stepped out of the room, closing the door, before walking to the end of the hallway and dialing the first number in her contacts. Élise picked up within a few seconds.

“How is he?”

“I finally got him to settle down. He’s curled up on one of the couches. How about your brother?”

“This close to hyperventilating into a paper bag.” Élise sighed, and Evie heard her moving quickly to likely go somewhere more private. “He’s deadset on thinking Jacob doesn’t want this.”

“Obviously we can tell they’re made for each other if they’re going to be like this,” Evie mumbled, pacing a step back and forth at a time before something hit her. “I might have an idea.”

“I do love those.”

Evie grinned.

---------------

Evie waited a few minutes, unwilling to go back to verbal abuse, and came back into where Jacob was likely wanting to drown his sorrows, glancing up at her. At least he had moved on from the whining and shivering aspect and now just seemed to sulk in his seat.

“It’s fucking raining now.” Jacob bemoaned loudly, looking out at the dark sky that had just recently been light and sunny.

“I’m sure they’re moving anything they need to inside. And they say it’s good luck, you know.”

“They made that shit up to comfort the piss poor bride who lost her expensive summer wedding.” Jacob sniffed, and Evie tried not to notice the red puff under his eyes from rubbing them until it became too much.

“Do you want me to put some makeup on that? Get you all dapper?”

“There’s no point,” Jacob said, “there’s not going to be a wedding.”

“I promise you there will be. Everyone’s showed up, besides.”

Jacob sat back, obviously displeased with what she said. But at this point, she couldn’t mince words. It was all or nothing. Both of them were silent for a while before Evie’s phone buzzed, and she checked the notification.

“Here. A video to cheer you up, maybe.”

“Is it a virtual cat poster thing?”

Evie rolled her eyes and pulled up the video Élise had sent her, handing the phone over to Jacob. Jacob pressed the small triangle for play almost absently. The video had some motion in it of the phone being set up, and lean subtly against something small while two people were right in the middle of a conversation. He recognized the visible figure standing in front of one of the small mirrors, undoing and redoing his hair in an anxious manner.

Despite what Jacob thought, his heart did that standard skip it always did upon seeing him. He hadn’t gotten to see him since they arrived and separated, but Arno was half-dressed in his blue shirt and crisp dress pants, bowtie undone haphazardly.

“-don’t get why do you think Jacob is going to regret this? He said yes, didn’t he?”

Faintly he realized it was Élise speaking to Arno, and Arno sounded… panicked.

“He said yes because he didn’t know what he was getting into! I didn’t want that.”

Jacob’s heart sunk, but Arno continued, giving up on his hair with a frustrated groan.

“I’m grateful we did- Were going to do it here. And it’s beautiful. But… I’m not exactly marriage material, Élise. Don’t give me that look, it’s true. I’m an idiot most of the time. What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? And he realizes after a year or two that he doesn’t want to deal with me? It’s his right, but… I’d be heartbroken. And if I hurt him? I love him too much to put him through this.” Arno mumbled something else, sitting in one of the chairs with a dramatic huff and burying his face in his hands. There was one final line Jacob caught. “I’m nothing without him and he’s everything without me.”

Jacob was vaguely aware of Evie shouting about how he could’ve broken her phone, but he didn’t even realize he had dropped it as he hurried off. There could have been more but he didn’t need or care to hear it. He ran off through the hallway, almost knocking over poor waiters and workers alike as he looked for his fucking perfect fiance, who was somewhere thinking that Jacob couldn’t want him more than anything in any sense of the word.

Élise was waiting outside a door, and she barely looked up as Jacob stormed into the room she was near. Arno saw him in the mirror, jumped, and spun around, a tremulous smile playing on his face before it fell.

“What’s wrong, Ja-”

“I love you too, Arno. I said yes because I love you. Yeah, even with your fucking wardrobe and ego and attitude and smarts and good fucking heart.” He blurted out, not letting Arno get in a word edgewise before continuing. “Don’t you ever think you’re anything less than it for me, please.”

“Jacob, darling, mon amour , just breathe.” He held Jacob loosely but tried to get the man to look him straight in the eyes as he spoke. “Where- where is this coming from?”

“I saw the video. Evie had it. Where you said that shit all about you.”

“I- Élise filmed that?” He sent a half-hearted glare as if his sister could see him through the wall, but Jacob held his face and turned him back to look at him.

“I get it if you don’t wanna get married to me. But don’t be a dick to yourself in the process.”

“Of course I want to get married to you. I proposed. And I meant it.” Arno said, serious before turning shy. “I suppose… I just got worried. That I was being selfish by asking somehow.”

Jacob looked down, shyly grabbing Arno’s hand and playing with it. It was a distraction so he didn’t have to watch Arno’s no-doubt judgy gaze. “I was worried. I thought you were making a mistake with all this. With me.”

“I could never. If anything I was worried you’d be making a mistake with me. Compared to you, I’m-”

“You’re not nothing.” Jacob’s head snapped up. “Don’t say that again. ‘Sides,” Jacob ended up giving a half-smile, “I need someone around to keep me in line. That’s worth something, isn’t it?”

Arno smiled and ended up giving a somewhat surprised huff of laughter. He glanced down again. “Looks like we’re both a few idiots.”

“It’s us. I wasn’t expecting things to go perfectly.” Jacob’s smile grew at Arno’s second bit of laughter and it turned a bit sheepish. “So… After all that… Do we want to get married still?”

“If it means I get to have you for good, then of course. If you’re sure you want it as much as I do.” Arno looked up and gave a small smile, but it was brilliant and blinding. “But you’ll need to leave so I can finish getting ready.”

“I dunno. I quite like the idea of undoing your work so far.”

Arno chuckled and gently stopped Jacob’s hands from teasingly going too far up his chest.

“We’ll have the honeymoon for that. I promise.”

“Making me wait so long. Glad I know it’s gonna be worth it.” Jacob grumbled good-naturedly, and leaned in for a tender, chaste kiss. He was only barely pulled away when he spoke again, unable to help it. “I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Arno smiled. “Now. If we want to ‘do the damn thing’, as everyone says, we both have to finish getting ready.”

“Already nagging and we haven’t even exchanged rings.” Jacob grinned and gave him one final kiss before walking out of the room. Élise looked up as he left, and she grinned.

“Glad to see you’re finally acting like adults.”

“I’m definitely doing something at you and my sister’s wedding in return.” Jacob sent her a look, but he was smiling all the same before he hurried back to his room.

The wedding ended up starting just ten minutes behind schedule in one of the halls, hastily set up to work against the rain. But neither of them wanted to rush it.

---------------

Evie wanted to hit them for how much they ended up making everyone cry. There wasn’t a dry eye at the vows, or the kiss, or the reception, and Jacob and Arno held onto each other in a first dance that didn’t consist of anything more than just swaying in place. Evie and Élise sat back at the head table, red hair brushing Evie’s shoulders as Élise leaned on her.

“You think our wedding will be as hectic as theirs?” Evie asked, and Élise rested her chin on Evie’s shoulder as she looked up at her.

“Knowing us? Absolutely.”

Title and work inspired by Getting Married Today from the musical Company!

I hope you enjoy! If you do I have a Masterpost here and more ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day!

[tinysidestrashcaptain]

It's Only Logical - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: The Big Day

First chapter Previous Chapter

Pairings: Logicality/Prinxiety

Warnings: None, this is all fluff!

Virgil’s eyes scanned the jeweler's case with an increasing sense of frantic paranoia. The wedding was literally two days away, and Logan had physically dragged him from his house to finally find Roman’s wedding ring. Perhaps the notion that he could find the perfect ring was one he should have deleted from his brain around jewelry store number three, but he really hadn’t expected it to be this difficult to find a damn ring! And he hadn’t MEANT to put it off this long, LOGAN, but nothing that he saw was really right.

“There are literally ten rings that Roman would wear right in this first row, Virgil. You’re getting married in 48 hours, and you can’t do that without a ring, or so I have been told.” Logan arched a brow at Virgil, who shot him a frustrated glare.

“It can’t be just ANY ring! I need a ring that’s at least as good as the one currently sitting on my left hand!” Virgil held out the hand in question, the ring of red and black melding together in a perfect mix of himself and Roman. “Standard diamonds and gold just aren’t going to cut it here.”

Just as Virgil was about to write it off as yet another failure and melt into a small puddle of panic, Logan spotted a ring in the back of a small case. It was black with a twisting motif of purple, Virgil’s favorite color. “What about that one?”

The ring that Roman had given him sat heavy on Virgil’s finger, and he looked closer at that one ring. It was...him. It would be his favorite color on Roman’s finger, for always. “Excuse me, can I see this one, please?”

“Of course, sir.” The jeweler smiled as she opened the case and pulled the black and purple ring out for Virgil to inspect. As he turned it over in his hands, he thought about how it would look on Roman, about how this flash of dark and color would gleam against tanned skin.

“I’ll take it.” Virgil’s soft smile melted into a put upon scowl as Logan heaved a great sigh of relief. “What?!? It had to be perfect!”

“I’m just relieved that perfection actually exists. What kind of best man would I be if I let you face your future husband without a wedding ring? You’d be dead before you were married.” Logan grinned as Virgil playfully smacked him.

“Yeah, yeah, you saved the day. Now let me pay for this so I can finally check the one thing I’m responsible for in this wedding off my list.” Virgil handed over his credit card with no regrets, taking the small bag from the jeweler with a grateful smile.

“That’s not true, Virgil. You’re also responsible for showing up.” Logan followed him out of the shop, giving the amused jeweler a friendly wave goodbye.

“Nah, that’s what you’re responsible for.” Virgil winked at him as he got into Logan’s car.

“Oh, so I have to add “wrangle Virgil” to my list of matrimonial duties? Thought you were looking forward to this.” Logan laughed as he started the car and drove them towards the cafe.

“Oh, I am. Probably not as much as Roman, if the sobbing over his wedding binder last night was anything to go by.” Virgil shook his head fondly at the memory. “I don’t know, I just don’t see the point of all the fuss, you know? We love each other. We’re in this for life, until we’re old and wrinkly and gray. That’s the headline here, everything else is just window dressing.”

“Don’t let Roman hear you say that! He’s worked very hard on this wedding and it means a great deal to him.” Logan shot Virgil a warning look, arching a brow as his best friend put both hands in the air like he was surrendering.

“I know, and that’s the only reason it matters to me at all. You know me, I hate all the attention, but Roman wants this. He’s been dreaming of this, and I want to give him that one perfect day, you know?” He looked out the window, face flushing at the admission.

“Yeah, I know. Why do you think I agreed to turn Roman’s backyard into his dream garden? Roman wanted to get married at his house, where we all had so many good memories with us and Mom, and I couldn’t say no even if I’d wanted to.”

“His puppy dog eyes should be classified as a lethal weapon, I’m telling you!”

“Oh, his have nothing on Patton’s, let me assure you. Seems to be a family trait.” Logan chuckled as he remembered the way Patton and Thomas had ganged up on him last week. “And Thomas isn’t far behind. I truly stand no chance.”

“Wow, two Sanders Puppy Dog eyes at once? You are well and truly fucked, Lo. There is no escape.” Virgil gave his arm a sympathetic pat as they parked. “I’ll see you tomorrow for the rehearsal dinner. You're still good with all of us crashing at your house for it, right?”

“It’s not like I don’t have the room, Virgil. Go, have fun. Enjoy your last night as singles together, since Roman already asked me to have a guest room made up for you so you won’t see him before the wedding.” Logan laughed as Virgil groaned loudly in protest and threw his head back against the seat.

“Great. Can’t wait. I’ll see you tomorrow, Lo….and….thanks. For everything, you know?”

“You don’t ever have to thank me. We’re family, this is what we do for each other.” Logan’s face softened at his best friend’s quiet words, and he knew why Virgil had said it. Not many people would have given or done as much as he had, and his best friend hadn’t had the easiest life growing up. Of course he’d feel the need to express gratitude, even if it was totally unnecessary. “...Did you ever decide? About your mother?”

Virgil froze, his whole face shuttering like a switch had been flipped. “Yup. Not changing my mind. She may have given birth to me, but she isn’t my mother. My mom is buried out in the cemetery, and my brother is my best man. I don’t need any other family than that.”

Logan felt sentimental tears sting his eyes at that, and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. “Alright then. Your family will be right there with you, every step of the way. For what it’s worth, Mom would have been very proud of you. She always thought you and Roman would make a good couple, so she’s probably giggling into her tea right now.”

“Goddammit, why did EVERYONE figure us out before we did?!?” Virgil shook his head as he got out of the car, leaning down to meet Logan’s eyes. “She would have loved all this. Like to think she’s still watching, you know?”

“She is, Virgil. And she’ll definitely be watching on the big day.” He watched Virgil nod once before closing the door and heading into the house, leaving his purchase with Logan for safekeeping until the ceremony.

__________________________________________

It was a perfect day for it, tailor made with candy blue skies and balmy air scented with flowers. Everything that Logan had planted with Patton and Virgil’s help was blooming in an explosion of shapes and colors. There were white chairs set on the lawn, and a shimmery drape of fabric tied with bunches of fresh flowers marked the aisle that Roman would walk down.

Patton turned away from the window, smiling as he watched his mother and sister fuss over Roman’s gown. It was a stunning dress, an elaborate white ball gown with beading and a train, dyed red just at the bottom. Roman had foregone a veil in favor of fresh flowers woven into his hair, and Val had done his makeup in red and gold with lashes that made his eyes look stunning. His brother looked beautiful today, and he could feel himself getting a little misty. “You look incredible, Ro.”

“Damn straight he does! God, I wish I had your cheekbones.” Val giggled as she applied just a touch more highlight before stepping away to let Roman inspect her work. “Virgil is going to absolutely die. I can’t wait.”

“Oh honey, there is nothing straight about today! But I do look spectacular, if I do say so myself.” Roman laughed before giving Valerie a fond hug. “Thank you, menace.”

“You’re welcome, brat.” Val mumbled, blinking back some tears.

“You always were a queen, sweetheart. Today you just look the part.” Lydia grinned as her children laughed, then gently reached out to take Roman’s hand. She placed a beautiful bracelet of sapphires and diamonds on Roman’s wrist, fiddling with the clasp until it sat just right. “Logan asked me to give you something today. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, isn’t that the old saying? He said it was his mother’s set, so now you’ve got the borrowed, blue and old all in one.”

Roman took a deep, shuddering breath, one hand gently tracing over the bracelet with shaking fingers. “I wish you could have spent more time with Minny, mom.”

“I do, too, sweetheart. She was a special woman, and it’s so sweet of Logan to think of this. And all the work he did to put this together just how you wanted? You’d better say thank you.” Lydia smiled as she straightened Roman’s train, fluffing it a little. “And Patton, you’d better hang on to him.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, I intend to.” Patton laughed as he gave Roman a hug. “Now, you ready to get out there and wow the crowd?”

“Aren’t I always?” Roman laughed as he took his bouquet from Val, straightening his shoulders. He knew it wasn’t traditional for a man to wear the dress, but he’d always wanted a gown and his family and future husband were more than supportive. He felt beautiful, regal even, and he couldn’t wait to see Virgil’s face.

Out on the lawn, just underneath an arch that was decorated with red roses and purple wisteria, Virgil fidgeted as Logan straightened his tie for him. “Not getting the jitters, are you, Virge?”

Virgil smiled at him and shook his head. “I’m not nervous anymore, not even a little jump in my belly, Lo. He’s a good man.”

“Yes, he is. A very good one.”

“I made him wait for so long. Years, when you think about it.” He let out a laughing breath as the music struck up. “Time’s up.”

Logan chuckled and took his place by Virgil’s side, feeling his heart absolutely melt at the sight of little Lily toddling carefully down the aisle in her dress, tossing flower petals, then little Thomas in his suit carrying the rings. He gave Thomas a thumbs up before taking the ring boxes with a smile. Patton entered next, his blue eyes alight with joy as he took his place opposite Virgil, Logan and Thomas, gently holding Lily’s hand.

It was sweet, watching Roman walk down the aisle to Virgil. Watching Virgil’s face light up in awed delight at the sight of his future husband. The ceremony was perfect, soft and lovely with a gentle breeze wafting the perfume of the floral blooms through the air. They had wanted to get married in the garden they would tend, in the home they would live in together, and it struck Logan as a perfectly romantic setting.

Virgil’s vows were earnest and heartfelt, prompting Roman to blink rapidly and fan himself to avoid crying. Roman’s own vows were poetic but heart wrenchingly honest, and Virgil kissed his hand after they exchanged rings. It was perfect, Virgil looking handsome in his suit, Roman looking flawless in his gown, and the crowd broke into spontaneous applause when Virgil swept his husband off his feet and twirled him around before kissing him. Barbara topped off the ceremony by popping the first bottle of champagne to toast the happy couple.

“You do good work, sweetheart.” Patton said as he clinked a champagne glass against Logan’s.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“It’s like a family tree. They two of them sprung from a branch on your tree. You aren’t family by blood but it amounts to the same, really. It’s their connection to you that brought them together. They did the rest, but the connection started it,” Patton said softly, watching his brother beam from Virgil’s arms as the photographer snapped pictures.

“That’s a sweet thought. I’ll take it.” Logan sipped his champagne and blinked back the sting of sentimental tears. He’d been mentally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings lately, and watching the joy on his best friend’s face today was settling his heart into the comfortable acceptance that this was something he might just want for himself. “I wanted to talk to you about something, actually. It can wait until after Roman has his big day. By rights, a wedding day should belong to the bride, after all.”

“Oh? What did you want to talk about?”

“Let’s just say it’s about connections.” Logan gave Patton’s cheek a fond kiss. “I need to run back to the house really quickly. With all the excitement today, I forgot the very special bottle of champagne I had for the bride and groom.”

“I can go get it,” Patton offered, running one hand down Logan’s back with a smile.

“It’ll be faster if I do it. Fifteen minutes, tops.”

As he walked to his car, he was stopped when Barbara called out to him. “Hey, Logan! Hold up!” She paused by Logan, slightly breathless with a crying Lily in her arms. “I’ve got a cranky little girl here who won’t go down for her nap. Car rides always put her out. We can take mine, it has the car seat?”

“Sure. It’s going to be a quick run, though.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter. She’ll be out like a light in a minute.” Barbara gave him a grateful smile as she expertly wrestled Lily into her car seat and started towards Logan’s house. As advertised, the baby’s head started to droop and she quieted before they even got out of Roman’s driveway.

“Works like a charm.”

“From what Patton tells me, it does the same for Thomas, too. She looks so sweet in her little pink party dress.”

“Everything looked so beautiful today! If Shir and I ever renew our vows, I want it to be just like that. Flowers, family and friends. I always thought I’d want a big church extravaganza, but this was so romantic.” Barbara said softly, smiling as she drove.

“It was just perfect for them. So nice to--wait. Slow down! Stop the car!”

“What? What’s the---oh my god!”

They both stared towards Minny’s Garden. Logan had closed for the day to allow everyone to enjoy the wedding. But someone, he could see, had been there. Someone still was. Several of the outdoor displays were overturned, and a car was parked sideways on the grounds, crushing one of the flower beds.

“Go. You and the baby, get back to Roman’s right now.” Logan said, reaching for the door handle. “Call the police as soon as you get there.”

“Don’t! Don’t go in there right now.” Barbara gave him a horrified look.

“It’s my place.” And he was already running.

A/N: Okay, here we are. This is the second to last chapter, and I'm so sorry I made you all wait this long. I hope the ending lives up to everyone's hopes. I'm sorry to say that I lost my tag list, so I apologize to everyone who was on it. :'( Also, there is no difference between this version, the Wattpad, and the Ao3 versions for this chapter and the next.

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

All right, so I finaly did it, the last chapter of my original story is finaly done :) It took me a while, what with the episode 8 being released at that time, and with some other stuff I wrote in the between then and now, but it is done. Well, one more part is left, basicly like an epilogue, wich will be posted in a couple of days, too, but the story itself ends with this one.

Anyway, enjoy, and I wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 26

Jakes POV

„How is she?“ I asked Jessy as I entered the room. She got her head up from the book she was reading to look at me. „Still the same.“ She said. I sighed, walking to her bed. I took her hand, placing a soft kiss on her wrist. „The doctor was here earlier.“ Jessy informed me. „He said she is doing fine, that there's not any medical reason to be worried about.“ I just stared at her sleeping face. „Then why won't she wake up, Jessy?“ I asked her desperatly. „She will, Jake.“ she said to me, and I turned arround facing her. She smiled at me „When she's ready.“ Four days passed since they operated on her, and I was worried. Maybe Jessy was right, but her words didn't bring me any peace. She collected her stuff, and came to me. „Call me if you need anything. And if there's any change.“ She said hugging me. „Thanks, I will.“ I said, Jessy smiling once more at me before leaving. With Jessy gone, I moved myself lying next to her, leaning my forehead on the side of her head. „Please, Maya, you have to wake up.“ I whispered to her ear „ I can't do this alone, I need you with me.“

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched, turning my head. That nice nurse from before was smiling at me „Sorry, dear, didn't mean to fright you.“ I must have dozed off. „It's fine“ I said. „Is something wrong?“ I asked alarmed, and she smiled again „No, dear. I just need to change some things, so I have to ask you to leave for a while.“ I turned my head back to Maya, she looked so peaceful. „Dont worry, dear“ the nurse said „I'll take good care of her, just like I did before.“ I turned my look back to her. She smiled so heartedly at me, I got a feeling she had a special liking for Maya. And she did stick up for me when they brought Maya in here, and I refused to leave her and was almost dragged out by security. So I felt at peace to leave Maya with her. „Ofcourse, I'll let you do your thing.“ I said, getting up from the bed. I got to the doors when I turned back to her. „I'm sorry, but I don't know your name.“ I said and the nurse looked at me „It's Doris. Why do you ask, dear?“ „So I can properly thank you.“ I said. „So, thank you, Doris, for everything.“ She smiled wide at me „Oh, dear, you're sweet, and I knew I was right about you, but no need to thank me, really.“ She said and winked at me. I smiled back at her a bit confused before leaving the room.

I went outside, getting coffee and just sat at the bench in front of the hospital. I hated being here again. And seeing her back at that bed once more made me angry. And scared. More scared than the last time. All this uncertainty was driving me insane. If everything is fine like the doctor said, why isn't she awake yet? I was deep into my thoughts, that it took me a while to notice my phone was ringing. „Hey, Hannah.“ I answered the call. „Hi, Jake. How is she? Any change?“ she asked. I sighed „Nothing yet.“ „I'm sure everything will be fine soon, she's a fighter.“ She said reasuringly to me. „I hope so.“ I said. „I don't need to ask how you are“ she said „I can hear it in your voice. Did you eat anything today?“ I could hear the worry in her voice for me, and I could have easily lied, but she would know. „Not yet, I will later.“ „Jake, you can't do that to yourself.“ She said „And I won't let you. I'll be there in 10, and I'm taking you for lunch.“ „Hannah, that's nice of you, but rea...“ she didnt let me finish. „Stop it, I don't want to hear it!“ She almost yelled at me, and it made me smile. She really was worried for me, just like a sister would be. I was still geting used to that, of being someones brother. „All right, Hannah, I'll be waiting for you outside.“ „Good.“ She said „And besides, there is something I want to talk to you about anyway. Allrighty, see you in a while.“ „See you, Hannah.“ I said ending the call. I got up from the bench, taking the last sip of my coffe, heading out from the hospital area to meet with her.

The lunch with Hannah passed mostly with her talking and me thoughtfully nodding and saying a few words. She tried hard to lift my spirit up at least a little, and I was grateful to her, but only one thing could pull me back to normal now. „Just think about my proposal. I know you're worried about Maya, we all are, but just think about it, ok?“ Hannah said to me as she drove me back to the hospital. „Yeah, I will.“ I said back to her. She hugged me tight „Hang in there, and call if you need anything.“ „Thanks, Hannah.“ I said hugging her back before leaving the car. Walking back inside the hospital, I did think about Hannahs proposal. She was moving in with Thomas, and she wanted to leave her apartment to me. Wich wasn't a bad idea, actually. I liked the apartment, and besides, when Maya gets out of hospital, she would be more comfortable there than at the motel. And that one room has a nice big window, she would love all that natural light for her drawing. I chuckled to myself at my thoughts. Not im my wildest dreams was I expecting to be thinking of something like this, ever. But she changed me so much, she gave me hope again. She made it so that I felt like I finaly found my quiet place in all this chaos. She was the missing link I was looking for all this time. She became my everything. I entered her room with a smile for the first time after days. And I froze. Her bed was empty. It felt like my heart actually stopped beating for a moment, panic hitting at me like a truck. What happened? I was gone for a few hours, she was fine, what the fuck happened?! „Jake?“ I swallowed hard, turning my head to the sound of my name being called. My eyes swelled with tears, as hers locked with mine. In a few quick steps I came to her, carefully embracing her in a hug, burying my face to her neck. „Don't you ever scare me like this again.“ I said, unsuccessfully hiding my sobs. „I don't think my heart could take it.“ She released me from a hug, her eyes also full of tears. She rested her palm on my cheek, and I closed my eyes taking a deep breath, relieved to feel her touch again. „I knew you wouldn't leave me, that you'd come back to me.“ I said opening my eyes. She smiled at me, her voice raspy „I could never leave you. Nothing can keep me away from you.“ She kissed me then, the kiss salty from out tears. Doris sighed next to us „Oh, the young love..what a beautiful thing it is.“

Doris and me helped her back to bed and she tapped with her hand beside her for me to join. I got next to her and she rested her head on my chest. „How you feeling, angle?“ I asked her. „Tired“ she said „And in pain.“ „Don't worry, hun“ Doris said „I gave you some 'good stuff' now, it will help.“ „Thanks, Doris.“ She said with a weak smile, Doris winking at her before leaving the room. She stirred a bit, making herselff more comfortable „You won't leave, right?“ she said to me sleepily, the meds Doris gave her starting to work. „Ofcourse not“ I said, kissing the top of her head „You just rest, angel, I'll be right here when you wake up.“ She smiled and fell asleep instantly. I just stared through the window, the feeling of her steady breathing relaxing me. I felt my eyes getting heavier, and before I knew it, I too fell asleep.

Mayas POV

It was early in the morning when I woke up. I felt a bit better, but was still in a lot of pain. Jake was still sleeping. And even asleep, he looked tired, the rings under his eyes showing again. Doris entered the room, smiling at me. „Good morning, hun.“ She wispered to me as she came next to the bed checking on my IV. „'Morning.“ I said smiling back at her. She glanced at Jake „I was right about him after all.“ She said and winked at me. I chuckled silently „You sure wer, Doris.“ „Well, rest some more, hun. I'll be back shortly with your breakfast.“ She said, smiling at me again leaving the room. „What was that about?“ I turned my head, Jake looking at me sleepily.“It's not nice to eavesdrop.“ I grinned at him. „It was kinda hard not to.“ He said raising his eyebrow at me. I laughed „All right, you got a point there.“ He smiled at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. „It's good to see you laughing again.“ He got serious then „I'm sorry, angel.“ „What for?“ I asked. „For not being there with you.“ he said and sighed „I shouldn't have left you alone. I've let you down again.“ „Hey, that's not true.“ I said „I basicly forced you to leave, so if anyone is to be blamed, it's me then.“ „Even so, but I wasn't there.“ He said. „Jake“ I said softly, and he looked at me „Don't do this to yourself. It's not your fault this happened.“ I could see he was troubled with this. „Who is to say that the same thing wouldn't happen even if you were there?“ I asked him. „I can't, so please, don't torture yourself with 'what if's'. It happened, and I just want to move on, leave it all behind, now that it's finally over.“ He just looked at me „I don't know how you can so easily just move on.“ I sighed „Because, I don't want for it to take over my life. I want to focus on good things ahead of me, not dwell in the past.“ I placed my palm on his face and smiled at him „I want to focus on us.“ He kissed me softly, when Doris voice came from the door „Listen to her, dear, she speaks wisely.“ She said, winking at us. „She sure does, Doris.“ He said, not taking his eyes off me. She came to the bed bringing the food tray. „Now, lets get some food in you, hun. You will need it to get better.“ She said. Jake helped me to sit up, leaning on the pillow, Doris placing the tray in front of us. „I brought some extra, so there is enough for both of you.“ she said and winked at us, before leaving the room. „She sure likes you.“ he said to me as she left. I grinned at him „What to say, I'm just so darn adorable.“ He shook his head at me „And still impossible.“ I grinned even more „Even so, you still love me.“ He looked dreamily at me and smiled „More then you can imagine.“

The rest of my days in hospital passed fast. Jake was mostly with me, making sure to leave me with some kind of entertaintment when he left, either to help with Hannahs moving or for something else. He brought me his laptop, since mine got broken, with bunch of downloaded movies and books on it. Jessy also came to see me as often as she could. I was grateful for everything, but at some point all I wanted was some peace and quiet.

„Are you sure you don't want me to call Jessy to come?“ Jake asked me once more before leaving. „I'm sure“ I said „Don't worry, and don't get me wrong, but some alone time will be nice.“ „Humf, fine.“ He said „But call me if you get bored or anything and I'll be back right away.“ „I will.“ I said and smiled. He kissed me before heading for the doors. „See you soon, angel.“

With Jake gone, the room was quiet again, which was relaxing. I closed my eyes just apprieciating the silence, trying to get some sleep. But the nightmare was back. The images of what happened haunted my dreams repeatedly. Jake noticed it too, but I dismissed his worry quickly every time. He tried convincing me to talk about it with someone, anyone, even if it wasnt him, but I always said I'm fine, that it's not necessary. But he was right after all. I should.

With a sigh, I turned on the side staring through the windown, when a knock came from the doors. I turned, and laughed. A cute teddy bear holding a heart with 'Get well soon!' written on it was smiling at me from the door frame. The person holding it peeped his head behind it and grinned „Hello, gorgeous.“ „Hey, Phil.“ I smiled at him „I was worried you forgot about me.“ I said. He was the only one that hasn't visited me, at least till now. „That could never happen, gorgeous.“ He said walking over to me. „I just...waited for the right moment to come.“ He grinned sitting on the bed next to me. I laughed „So, Jessy informed you it's safe to come now, huh?“ I said raising my eyebrow at him. He grinned even more „Something like that.“ I shook my head „Well, I'm glad you came.“

„You know, my job offer still stands, gorgeous. I would still very much like you to do it.“ Phil said to me after a while. I chuckled „Can I at least get out of this place first? Then we can discuss it further.“ „Ofcours. I just wanted to let you know the offer still stands.“ He grinned devilishly and winked „Just so you don't forget about it.“ I laughed „Oh, don't worry, I never forget about the jobs being offered to me.“ „Good.“ He said and winked again. „Anyway, gorgeous, unfortunately I have to go now. Some of us don't have the luxury to lay in bed all day.“ He said getting up and grinning at me. He stood there for a moment, his face getting serious. He leaned then, embracing me in tight hug „I'm glad you're back with us, gorgeous.“ He said to my ear and kissed me on the cheek before moving from me. I smiled „Me too, Phil, me too.“ I took the teddy and grinned „And thank's for this guy.“ He grinned back „No worries, gorgeous.“ „Hello there.“ A voice sounded at the doors. Phil raised his eyebrow looking at me „Now it really is time I go.“ He smiled once more at me „Take care, gorgeous. See you soon.“ He turned and nodde at the person entering the room „Loverboy.“ Jake did the same walking towards my bed, looking extremely calm, and I was surprised. As they passed eachother, Phil stopped „Hey, loverboy?“ Jake turned to him and Phil's fist colided with his face, sending him to the floor. „Phil!“ I jumped in my bed, wincing instantly from the pain. Phil didn't even spare me a glance, he just leaned down closer to Jake „I told you to take care of her.“ Jake just looked at him, not trying to do anything. Doris bursted to the room „Phil Hawkins!“ she yelled „How dare you come to 'my house' and make a mess?!“ The two just continued to look at eachother, when Phil finaly straightened and turned to Doris with the most wide smile „Sorry, Doris.“ He said walking towards her „I owed him that.“ He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before heading for the doors „Hope I'll see you and the others soon at the Aurora.“ Doris shook her head after him „Schmack.“ She turned to Jake „You all right there, dear?“ she asked him as he got up. „I'm fine, thanks Doris.“ He said and she looked at him „Mhm, sure you are. I'm still gonna brig you some ice for that.“ She said and walked out. „I'm fine.“ Jake said to me seeing my expression. He came and sat next to me. „Thats was very unexpected of you. I was sure you would fight him back.“ I said and he looked at me a bit sad „Well, he was right.“ I sighed „Are we back to that again?“ „What? To me not looking after you? Ofcourse, I will never forgive myself for it.“ Now he sighed desperately „I'm sorry, angel, but I can't just get so easily over it. Maybe with time, but for now it still sits heavy on my shoulders.“ I saw how much all of it still bothered him, and I knew no matter what I might say he wouldn't listen. „All right“ I said after a moment „But, just promise me, you will try to let go off that. For me.“ He half smiled „I promise, angel.“ I pulled him to me for a kiss, and he winced. Doris came back giving Jake the ice pack. „Thank you , Doris.“ He said taking it from her. „You're welcome, dear.“ She said winking before leaving again. I took the ice pack from him „Come here you.“ I said and pulled him to lay next to me. Placing the pack on the spot that was really red by now and started to swell he winced again „Ouch!“. „I'm sorry.“ I said quickly and he grinned at me. „Ohh you, that was mean!“ He laughed „Sorry, angel, couldn't resist.“

„Ready to leave, hun?“ Doris asked smiling from the doors holding my discharge papers. „Definitely!“ I said cheerfuly. She came to me and hugged me „Now, hun, as much as I like you, I hope I'll never see you again.“ She moved from me and winked „At least not in here.“ I chuckled „I hope so too, Doris. And, thank you, again, for everything.“ „No need to thank me, hun.“ She turned to Jake and winked „Now, dear, you take good care of her, this one's a keeper.“ „You can say that again, Doris.“ He said back, and to the surprise of both of us, walked to her and gave her a hug. „And I also thank you for everything.“ He released her, and with glazing eyes she waved her hand at us „Oh, you two..get going now, before you get me even more teary.“ She smiled and squeezed us both on the hand before leaving the room „Take care, kids.“

Feeling the sun on my face as we stepped out from the hospital felt so good. „So, do you maybe want to go somewhere first?“ Jake asked me as we walked towards the car. „I mean, you were in there for quite a wile.“ I smiled at him „Yeah, thats true. But I still feel a bit tired. Maybe tomorrow.“ As much as I appriciated being out, I still needed to rest. But I also wasn't very eager of the thought of returning back to the motel. Not after all that happened there. He smiled back at me „As you wish, angel. We got to the apartment then.“ „Apartment? Not the motel?“ I asked surprised. „Ahm, well yeah.“ He started „I hope you don't mind, but I got all your stuff and took them to Hannah's place.“ He got a bit nervous „I mean, I am staying there now that she's moved in with Thomas. And to be honest, I thought you might feel...less uneasy there.“ I stopped walking, and he turned to look at me. „Everything all ri...“ But I didn't let him finish. I pulled him in a tight hug „Thank you. You have no idea how glad I am to hear this. I so didn't want to go back to the motel. Not after everything.“ I felt tears coming to my eyes. „I know, angel.“ He said, and a sob escaped me. Then another, and another. He hugged me tighter „It's ok, angel, everything will be fine. I've got you now.“ He just held me there in a tight hug, letting me cry on his shoulder, for as long as I needed it.

„Ohh, this room is amazing with all this natural light!“ I squealed as Jake showed me around the apartment. He chuckled „I thought you might like it. Hence that big table there.“ I turned grinning to him „You did this for me?“ „Ofcourse, angel.“ I rushed to him throwing my hands around his neck and kissing him, but winced from the pain in my shoulder. „All right, that's enough excitement for you for now.“ He said ushering me out of the room. He lead me to the couch, made me sit then lifted my feet up. „Now don't move from here unless it's really necessary.“ He said stern with a raised eyebrow. „Oh, come on, that's not needed.“ I said protestingly. He chuckled „Maybe, but just take it easy for a day or two more.“ I was about to protest again, but he looked at me, making such a puppy face that I couldn't possibly say no to him. „Argh, all right, although I feel fine, I'll do it for you.“ „Thank you, angel.“ He said and leaned to kiss me. „Now, can I get you anything? Drink, food?“ he asked and i grinned „Well, I would kill for a coffee.“ He laughed hard „Why I'm not surprised about that.“ He said standing up. „Well, since I'm not allowed to move from this spot, I hope you're ready to indulge my demands.“ I said grinning. He smiled „For you, angel, I'll do anything.“

-------------------------------------------------------------

3 MONTHS LATER

„Just come to the Aurora tonight, Jessy, I will tell you everything then.“ I said to her on the phone, as I entered the apartment. „Fine, be all secretive then.“ She said sulky. I laughed „No need for that tone, you know that won't work on me. I'm still not gonna tell you anything now.“ „Ahhh, fine! See you tonight then.“ „See you, Jessy.“ I entered the kitchen, Jake sitting at the table with his laptop. He smiled „Hey, angel.“ „Hey babe.“ I said going to him for a kiss. „How was with dr. Barret?“ he asked. „It was ok.“ I said sitting next to him. „It actualy feels good to talk about it with someone.“ I smiled „Thank you for talking me into doing it.“ „No need to thank me, angel.“ He said smiling back. I sighed „I hope it doesn't bother you that it's not you that I can talk to about it.“ He took my hand, pulling me from the chair to sit on his lap „I don't really care who you talk about it with, angel. Heck, I wouldn't care if you said you wanted to talk to Phil about it. As long as you get better.“ I laughed „Huh, you know, now that you mentioned it, they do say that barkeepers are a good listeners. So kinda close to psychiatrist.“ I tilted my head and said teasingly „It would definitely be cheeper. And beside, I'm sure Phil wouldn't mind listening to me, me being all vulnerable around him, and..“ „Ok,ok, no need to continue.“ He said quickly interupting me. „You just stick with dr. Barret.“ I laughed „Awww, babe, will you ever be at ease about Phil?“ „Probably not.“ He said thoughtfully. I smiled „Not even now, when I'm about to move in with you?“ He grinned „Not even then.“ I chuckled „You're hopeless then.“ He gave me a quick kiss. „Sooo“ he started grinning again„You think Jessy will be happy when you tell her the news about you moving here?“ „Happy?“ I said, „No, I don't think so.“ He looked confused at me, and I grinned „She will be thrilled.“

A/N: Ok, so after a short, but lovely chat with @lovingstudentangel who got a bit confused with how I ended the previous chapter, with the part of Jake visiting a grave, thinking it was the end of the story, so I want to clarifie it for her, or anyone else who might have been equaly confused. It was his mother grave that he visited, and I used that part as a clifhanger. I hope all is in the clear now :)

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

New World CH. Two

Title: Problems

Words: 2,572

Warnings: Strong language, mentions of rape and death (no actual rape or death)

A/N: Here’s chapter two! Hope you enjoy!

If you’d like to request something, send me an ask. I’d love to write for you! 

If you’d like to support me, I have a Ko-Fi!

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Daryl Dixon Masterlist

Walking Dead Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

[Y/n]

When you woke up the next morning, Adeline had managed to starfish in her sleep and you laughed softly, brushing her hair out of her face. You heard a groan come from behind you and you whipped around to see a sleepy Sam sitting up.

 “Jesus, Sam, don’t scare me like that,” you said.

 “Sorry,” Sam said with a yawn. You just shook your head and looked around.

 “Where’s Dean?”

 “Probably outside getting food. You know how he is in the mornings.”

 “Good to know that hasn’t changed,” you said with a laugh. Sniffing the air, you smelled eggs and pancakes.

 “Seems you haven’t either,” Sam teased.

 “Oh hush.”

 “We still have your things from before we got separated. Dean brought them into the tent last night while you were sleeping.” Sam pointed to the corner of the tent and you saw a duffel and a backpack.

 “Thanks.”

 “Get dressed then come get breakfast. We still have people to introduce you to.”

 “Alright. I’ll be out in a minute.”

 Sam gave you a smile before leaving the tent. You quickly got dressed and when you were putting on your shoes, Adeline woke up.

 “Mommy!” She launched herself at you and you caught her with a grunt.

 “Hey, baby,” you cooed as you picked her up. Adeline buried her face in your neck and clung to you.

 “I missed you,” she said, sniffing lightly.

 “Oh, baby, I missed you too.” You pressed a kiss to her hair and set her down. Wiping away her tears, you looked her in the eyes. “Why don’t you get dressed and we can go get some breakfast, yeah?”

 “Okay.”

 You kissed her forehead and helped her pick out an outfit for the day. Once she was all ready to go, the two of you walked out of the tent and to the campfire where breakfast was being served.

 “You’re up, good!” Carol said. She came up to you with two plates full of food and handed one to you and the other to Adeline. “I was just about to see if you were awake or not.”

 “Thank you. I appreciate it,” you said to her with a smile. “Do you know where my brothers are?”

 “They’re over by the house, talking with Rick and Hershel.” She started walking away and you followed her to the fire.

 “Hershel?”

 “The owner of the farm.”

 “Ah, okay. Makes sense. What are they talking about? Or is it a need to know thing?” You asked.

 “Now that Sophia’s found, they’re trying to see if Hershel will let us stay on the farm.”

 “I hope they do. It seems like a relatively safe place,” you said. “A place where these kids can grow up.”

 “I agree. Now why don’t you two go sit down and enjoy the food. I’m sure that the others would love to get to know you better.”

 “Alright. Thank you.”

 “You’re welcome, sweetie.” Carol poked Ada’s nose, making her giggle and you smile, before she walked away.

 Stomach growling, you sat down and ripped into your food. Moaning quietly, you didn’t see Lori piling more food on your plate or your brothers coming out of the house. Nobody complained about you getting extra food and you jumped when you felt a hand on your head. Reaching for your knife, Lori stopped you before you could stab Dean.

 “Woah, easy sweetheart. It’s just me,” Dean said.

 “Sorry,” you said with a sheepish grin. “Morning.”

 “Morning,” he said to you. He gave you a kiss on the forehead before sitting next to you, placing Ada on his lap. “Sorry for scaring you.”

 “It’s okay. Guess I’ve just been a bit tense.”

 “How did you make it all alone?” Dale asked. “Don’t want to offend, but you’re a small little thing. All by yourself all that time?”

 “It helped that I already knew how to use a gun and how to fight hand to hand with and without a knife. I already knew how to make traps and hunt so if I was successful I had something to eat. Slept in trees if there wasn’t any shelter around. I’m also light on my feet and know how to get around without being spotted.” You shrugged and shoved more food in your mouth.

 “She took me down pretty easy,” Daryl said through a mouthful of food. “I didn’t even know she was there ‘til a knife was at my throat.”

 “Atta girl,” Dean said with a grin.

 “Thanks,” you said to Dean. To Daryl you said, “I am sorry about that. You snuck up on me and I panicked.”

 “Thought I was a geek?”

 “No,” you shook your head. “I knew you weren’t one of them.”

 “You were worried about people?” Rick asked.

 “Yeah. It was about a month ago I think. Time is a blur so I don’t remember exactly when I saw them, but there was a dad and his two daughters. Four men came along and did, uh, things to the girls. They were maybe fifteen or sixteen, just kids, and made their dad watch. Didn’t even kill him. Just left afterwards. Two of them didn’t do anything but one of them looked like he wanted to.” You swallowed harshly. “Heard your footsteps and thought you were part of their group.”

 “What made ya follow me?” Daryl said after a moment.

 “Your voice, the tone of it. Your actions too. They would’ve started sweet-talking me, trying to lull me into a false sense of security. You didn’t do that.” Looking at him with a small smile, you turned back to your food.

 “That’s awful,” Carol said quietly. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

 “Unfortunately, it’s not the worst I’ve seen. But thank you.”

 “You done with your food, [y/n]?” Lori asked you. You nodded and she took your plate.

 “I’m gonna introduce you to Hershel,” Rick said. “C’mon.”

 “Don’t leave mommy!” Adeline said as she tried to get out of Dean’s hold.

 “I’ll be right back, baby. Don’t you worry.” You brushed her hair back and Adeline nodded slowly.

 Sam took your plate from you and pushed you towards Rick lightly.

 “Hershel is a veterinarian. He’s been helping heal any wounded. He helped save Carl, my son, and T-Dog,” Rick said as he led you to the house.

 “What happened to Carl?”

 “He got shot,” Rick said. “One of his men was hunting a buck and didn’t see Carl approaching it. Bullet went clean through the deer and hit Carl. He almost died but Hershel saved him.”

 “Any lasting consequences?”

 “Not so far. We’re still making him take it slow, but he should be alright.”

 “Good.” You let out a sigh and Rick opened the door to the house.

 “After you.”

 ---

 “Hershel, this is Sam and Dean’s sister, [y/n]. Daryl found her and Sophia in the woods while searching for Sophia yesterday.”

 “It’s nice to meet you, [y/n].”

 “Nice to meet you too. I heard about what you did to save that little boy’s life. And I am really grateful you’re giving my daughter a safe place to stay.”

 “It was the right thing to do,” Hershel said. You shook your head.

 “The worlds gone to shit, excuse my language. It might have been the right thing to do, but most men wouldn’t have done it. Whatever you need, just ask.”

 “I appreciate it. Have you met my daughters yet?” You shook your head and he introduced you to Maggie and Beth.

 “Patricia and Jimmy are doing some chores around the farm, but I’ll make sure to introduce you to them before dinner. For now, you can use the shower if you’d like. We have hot water, but go easy on it. Maggie, could you show her to the bathroom?”

 “Yes. Follow me.”

 You followed Maggie up the stairs as she led you to a bathroom.

 “Feel free to use whatever shampoo and soap you’d like. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

 “Thank you, Maggie,” you said. “I do really appreciate you letting me use your hot water.”

 “It’s no problem. I’ll leave you to yourself.”

 “Alright.”

 She left, closing the door and you started stripping with a sigh. Turning on the water, you didn’t have to wait long until it was hot. When you stepped under the water, you let out a groan of satisfaction and started washing yourself. It felt good to massage and clean your hair, not having shampooed since the world went to shit. You went as fast as you could, not wanting to use all of their hot water accidentally.

 Stepping out when you were squeaky clean, you toweled off and redressed before walking out of the bathroom. It felt weird being in a house that wasn’t run down and even though you knew it was safe enough, you still wanted to get back outside.

 “That was a quick shower,” Maggie said when you got to the living room.

 “Didn’t want to use all the hot water. I’m known for long showers,” you said with a laugh.

 “Me too. Wish I had the resources to do it again, but we gotta live with what we got. Your brothers are outside and so is Adeline,” Maggie said.

 “Thanks.” Before you left, you turned to her. “I hope we can get to know each other better. You seem like a good person.”

 “I was thinking the same thing. After you get settled, we can talk?”

 “I’d like that.” You both smiled at each other and you walked outside. When you got to the camp, everyone was tense and you could tell that something was wrong.

 “What happened?” You asked, picking Adeline up.

 “Glenn just told us that the barn is full of walkers,” Carol said.

 “It’s what?”

 You walked with everyone to the barn and looked inside with Shane after handing Adeline over to Sam.

 “What the fuck?” You said to yourself. Walking backwards with a shake of your head, you looked at Rick.

 “You can’t tell me you’re alright with this,” Shane said to Rick. “You have Lori and Carl to think about here. There’s the girls too.”

 “I’m not okay with it. But we’re guests. This isn’t our land!”

 “But it’s our lives man!”

 “Be quiet,” Glenn said, glancing worriedly at the barn.

 “We can’t just go about our day and forget about this,” Andrea said.

 “I agree. It’s too dangerous. Something could happen and it isn’t right,” you said to Rick. “I know this isn’t our land but we can’t just let this go.”

 “We gotta go in there. We’ve got to make things right or we need to leave. We can go to Fort Benning.”

 “We can’t leave, Shane!” Rick said.

 “Why?”

 “Because this is a place where these kids can grow up,” Carol said. “[Y/n] agrees with me too.”

 Shane looked exasperated and shook his head.

 “A place where the owner keeps walkers in his barn?”

 “Look, we need to figure this out, but arguing amongst ourselves isn’t going to do any fucking good!” You said angrily. “This needs to be a calm conversation. No accusing, no yelling.”

 “You just agreed with me and now you’re taking his side?” Shane said to you. “If you’re gonna do that, you should just stay quiet. Don’t need the opinion of someone who just got here.”

 “I’m taking no one’s side right now. Yes, we need to deal with the walkers, but we also can’t just up and leave a safe place without talking about it rationally! And it doesn’t matter if I just got here or not, I’m here now so keep that in mind.”

 “Just let me and Rick talk to Hershel,” Sam said. “Let us figure it out.”

 “What are you gonna figure out?!” Shane yelled at Sam. You flinched at his booming voice but steeled yourself and shoved a finger into his chest, anger in your eyes.

 “Don’t you dare yell at my brother like that,” you said coldly. “I don’t care if you’re angry, you don’t get to do that.”

 Shane looked at you and he huffed angrily before rolling his eyes and looking away. Adeline was starting to get a little anxious and reached for you. Taking her in your arms, you tried calming her down.

 “This is his land. If we clear out the barn I’m going to need to talk to him.”

 “Hershel sees those things as people,” Dale said. “Sick people. His wife, stepson. People he cared about.”

 “You knew?” Rick asked him.

 “I talked to Hershel yesterday.”

 “And you waited the night?” Shane accused.

 “I thought we could survive one more night. And we did! I was waiting to say something this morning, but Glenn wanted to be the one to tell.”

 “If Hershel thinks those things are alive, he’s crazy, Rick!” Shane yelled.

 At that moment, the walkers started banging on the barn doors, trying to get out. You took a step back and Sam pulled you slightly behind him as you all looked warily at the barn.

 “We need to take this conversation somewhere else,” you said. “If we keep arguing here, they’re going to get out and cause trouble.”

 “She’s right,” Daryl said. “’Sgo back ta camp.”

 Shane stormed off and the rest of the group followed close behind. You stayed at the back of the group with your brothers. Sam was silent for a minute but kept opening his mouth to say something.

 “You don’t have to defend me against Shane,” he said.

 “If he talks to you like that then I will. You’re right, we need to talk to Hershel about it. But he also has a point, Sam. We can’t just let this go.”

 “I know. When did you get so grown up?”

 “I’ve always been more grown up than you, Sammy,” you said with a laugh. You walked past them and towards camp. Sitting down, you started comforting an anxious Adeline, and Carol came up to you.

 “Thank you for defending me,” she said. “You don’t even know us that well but you still did.”

 “Even though I’ve never met y’all, you took care of my daughter and brothers. I’ve been on my own out there and it’s hell. A safe place is what we need right now and I’ll keep defending you even if that asshole thinks I shouldn’t.”

Carol laughed softly and pulled you close. “Thank you,” she whispered. After a second, she let go and went to the stables.

 Looking around, you scanned the horizons, looking for any threats. The barn full of walkers made you super uneasy and on edge. Your hand never left your knife and you tensed when you heard someone walking up to you. Turning, you saw Dean and you relaxed a bit.

 “Hey,” you said with a smile.

 “How are you feeling?”

 “Uneasy,” you said honestly.

 “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”

 “Has it always been like that?” You asked Dean. “The two of them yelling at each other?”

 “A little bit, yeah. But it has gotten worse.”

 After a minute of silence, you looked at your brother. “Do they know about what we did before the world ended?”

 “They do. The only ones that don’t are Hershel and his family. He’s a bit religious and doesn’t have the same view on walkers as we do, so we thought it might be best not to let them know just yet.”

 “I think that’s a good idea.”

[tokoyamisstuff]

Betrothed Ch. 6 - Illumi Zoldyck x Reader

Chapter 6: Bold

Summary: Two pretty unusual family meetings, but one of them lacks a happy end.

Warnings: Angst, Family Drama.

Words: ~4300

Story Masterlist

A/N: Tumblr accidentally posted the unfinished draft a few days ago. Sorry for the confusion! As a treat, you get a very long chapter! (:

Before you were married, Illumi was rarely at home.

He had no one to come home to anyway, let alone someone who cared.

Anyway, this was only one of many things you had changed.

These times, whenever he left, it was only for a good reason like missions, training or caring for his siblings. Sometimes family conferences you were allowed to attend as well, yet not to talk.

Whenever he got home, it felt so cozy and peaceful.

Like he was welcomned and safe here - unlike anything he knew before.

Your home would always smell like scented candles, the many flowers you had planted at the balconry, and whatever you were cooking at the time.

It was very lovely and kinda cheesily decorated by now. Most of the things were stuff you asked Illumi to bring home from his missions, but lately he got you anything he thought you'd like.

Of course you were grateful for everything. It meant he took the time and actually think about what you'd appreciate!

Occasionally, you’d bring home injured animals you found in the forrest surrounding Kurokoo mountain. Sometimes your husband reluctantly assisted you, even though he found kindness futile - he just couldn’t say no to your begging eyes, so be it.

From you, he got love and care in return for his efforts. But a wild animal? Well, if he thought about it, he consdiered himself lacking a real consciousness just as much as the pets you kept.

One day, he’ll understand why people help each other without wanting something back - you promised him. Even though he always emphasized that saving such small lives won’t redeem him anyway.

Yes, the weight of his sins was sure massive - especially now that it all broke down on him, suffering under his newfound sympathy.

You swiped through your phone, adoring all the photos you persuaded him to take together.

It filled your heart with joy to notice every small change he underwent:

He'd run himself a bath from time to time, buy sweets or other things to try out, and spent his free time reading or wandering the estate's forrest instead of thoughtlessly staring into the void.

And for the more nasty things, well...let’s just say Illumi is a quick learner. And you were glad that he began taking the initiative and try out things he may enjoy.

Your husband was more and more developing a personality.

"She's so pretty!"

"Yeah, right?" you proudly commanded the owl to come back, and she immediately landed on your lap. "Her name is Luna."

“She was a gift from big bro Illumi, right?” Your familiar had grown strong very fast, yet it's claws never hurt you. Sometimes you almost forgot that Luna was a dangerous animal rather than a cuddly pet. “Yes, she is!”

"Maybe we can play in the forrest some day. I just need some time to convince your parents."

Alluka was sitting on a chair next to you, cheerfully petting the patient bird. "Thanks, big sis!"

Illumi's little sister was probably the only normal person in this building. No nen, no assassin training either, and a loving nature.

If only there wasn't-

"Y/N!" Oh no. Your husband was back earlier than you expected. "Did you bail her out again?!"

"Big bro!" the little girl cheered, jumping down the stair and wobbling to his direction.

There was not the slightest hint of hate inside of her. Even though she was alone all the time, she was blissfully unaware about her own family resenting her.

"Illumi!" That was the first time you actually raised your voice against him. "Take.down.the. needle. Right now!"

You kept Alluka from getting closer to Illumi, defendingly wrapping your arms around her.

God knows what he'd do...

"Then get that thing out of my face."

Actually, you didn't want to fight in front of a child, but Alluka needed constant superveilance . "How can you be so cruel? She's your sister!"

"Did you make a wish?"

"Of course not! I used my nen to get her out unnoticed, so she could spent some time like a normal child. I would've brought her back tonight. That's all, really! I promise!"

Suddenly, you felt a foreign, powerful aura under your palms.

Damn it.

You forgot her last wish was a hug, which was exactly what you gave her right now.

"Aye."

"That's enough." Illumi already had his needles prepared, infusing them with nen. "I'll end this right here."

You knew he didn't mean it like this. He was afraid of Nanika's powers, and even if this wouldn't end in a disaster, his parents would punish you for your reckless actions.

"Nanika?"

The girl answered, her blackened orbs obediantly glaring at you. "Aye?"

"Y/N" Illumi almost growled, still hesistant. "Know your place."

"Give Illumi a hug."

Baffled, Illumi's needles disappeared into thin air. The girl didn't even reach up to the tall man's thorso, rather embracing one of his legs.

She was so small and weak and fragile - and for the first time, Illumi was able to acknowledge the affection his sister felt for him.

"See?" you calmly explained, now hugging him as well. "Nanika is not evil. Only the people's wish are."

"...she's all alone" he spoke to himself, trying to at least logically understand the situation. "Just like you when I'm gone."

He didn't get it.

Hard enough to understand why you were caring so much about him, but Alluka? The sibling he always despised, insulted, abused, and locked away?

There were still so many things he didn't know yet.

"Well, if it's only the two of you, and I'm supervising..." he mumbled, kneeling down to the girl's height, "Then I guess I can promise you a few liberties."

Alluka's face and aura were back to normal, her glimmering eyes blinking happily at her brother, who was absentmindedly petting her hair.

"Great!" You clasped your hands together, disappearing in the kitchen. "Let's make a hot chocolate for you guys!"

Quickly, you reappeared to the two sitting on the sofa with an awkard distance, until you wrapped them in a blanket.

Illumi sat in middle of you two, deeply buried in thought while you and Alluka were watching TV until she fell asleep.

"I'll bring her back now" you whispered softly, but Illumi already cradled the snoring girl into his arms. "No. I will."

For a second, you were taken aback, unsure about his intentions - but you wanted to believe in him, so you stayed quiet about your apprehensions.

"She's cute, right?" you noticed as Illumi got a strand of hair out of her face. He held her with such great care and insecurity, it was a truly cute sight.

"Dunno. I know the definition of cute, but I don't think I really understand it."

"You are cute, for example." Placing a wet kiss on his cheek, you waved him goodbye as he walled out the door - but in the frame, he stopped.

"You're changing so many things at once."

"For better or worse?"

Illumi wouldn't turn around to look at you, instead watching Alluka's soundly sleeping face.

"I don't know. We'll see."

When Illumi took longer than expected, panic began to rise inside of you.

Did his parents find out? Due to your powers this should basically be impossible, but still-

"Alluka wanted me to stay and play with her" Illumi's voice appeared behind your back, making you jump a little.

So that's why he took so long.

"Was it fun?"

"I'm not a good brother" he murmured, "Not to her or any of them."

He remembered the time he got Kalluto a kimono you picked out for him, as a gift. 

“You’ve changed” the boy said back then, and the confusion in his eyes made Illumi painfully aware that the child was close to become just as inhuman as he was.

And he was the one who teached his siblings to be that way.

Your husband sat on the edge of the bed, with you already laying inside. He buried his face into his hands, seemingly distressed.

Yes, it was fun. Even though he didn't know how to properly entertain a child, Alluka seemed to enjoy her brother's attention inconditionally - just like you did.

Was that love?

"You just tried to protect your family, Lumi" you cooed, massaging his tensed shoulders.

"What about yours?" he suddenly asked, turning to you with a stony expression.

"I, uh-"

"Do you miss them?" Seems like he was afraid to lose you.

You tugged on his arm until he'd finally let himself fall into the bed, and you put an arm and leg around him, effectively trapping him into your hold.

"Of course I do. But this is my home now."

"And they're nice people?" he wondered, since your parents were assassins too.

He laid his head onto your chest, trying for your heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

"They are...special. Strict but loving. I think all parents fuck up their children somehow. But I still love them."

Both of you had already closed your eyes, his cold skin feeling refreshing on your warm one.

"Then let's meet them" Illumi suggested as his hand ran across your bodyline, before he stopped himself with a tender kiss on your skin.

"I want to know what other families are like."

Only a week later, you were allowed to leave the Zoldyck estate for the first time. Wether it was because of Illumi’s curiosity or maybe that he knew you missed your family, it didn’t matter.

Two different worlds.

Your family was living in the midst of the small town, loved by the inhabitants. Being honorable head hunters who mainly killed wanted criminals and acting as protectors of the city, you had kind of a reputation.

So it was no wonder everyone you saw greeted you with great respect, yet also as if you were never gone.

That was what a real home must feel like, Illumi thought as he watched you casually talk to anyone who recognized you while both of you wandered the main street.

“They sure think highly of you” he deducted out loud, seeing how anyone was smiling and cheering at you.

“Well...” Flustered, you rubbed the back of your head as you kept on walking, “I’ve grown up in between those people. Of course they know me! That’s all.”

“Mhh” he murmured, still eyeing everyone quite suspecting. This was your first day outisde the manor, and your husband would be damned if something would happen to you.

“There it is!” Already running ahead, you pointed at the tallest building of the town - your birthplace.

“Y/N Y/L/N” a familiar voice behind you spoke, trying way too hard to keep a straight face.

Turning around, you saw all of your siblings gathered at one spot. Of course you knew they had followed you this whole time, due to your nen - but it was still a pleasant surprise. “You guys!”

Giving each one of them a wholeheartedly hug, you immediately began to chatter about all kinds of things. You haven’t seen each other for a while, and you wanted to know everything.

“Better tell me next time” Illumi abruptly cut you off, and only now you realized the needles in between his fingers. “I almost killed them.”

Oh. So he noticed them too.

Well, your family had it worse, so they just laughed it off.

“So this is your husband, huh?” They didn’t dare speak his name - the family was too infamous, and not in a positive way. it wouldn’t really gain you the good kind of attention. “I thought you’d be more...intimidating.”

All of your siblings got way too close to Illumi, aving hands in front of his face and eyeing his appearance, at least trying to make the stoic man react in any way.

“Nice to meet you!” One of your brothers offered his hand for your husband to shake, yet Illumi decided on staring him down instead.

“Pleasure is all mine” he retorted in his robotic way, sounding way too fake for anyone to buy it.

At least they were not afraid of him. Your husband was very talented in hiding his bloodlust, after all - even though it was constantly there, not even a skilled nen user would notice.

“Mother and father are awaiting you at the usual spot.” Your brother’s voice was more serious now that he had assessed the situation.

It was clear from the very first moment that they didn’t only come to greet you - their main goal was the eldest Zoldyck.

“Seems like he’s now our leader” you pondered as all of them dispersed into different directions. 

Things had changed. Of course they did.

Back then, you declined your fate of becoming the clan-leader, even though it had been the centre of all your ambitions up until now.

Meeting Illumi made you question anything you expected from life.

You didn’t even know why: What would it matter if you left an assassin family just to join another one?

Even your youngest sister was different. You could feel her steady aura, meaning she had completed her training.

The situation made you both nostalgic and anxious.

“Do you regret it?” Illumi’s blank stare turned to your form, black orbs interrogating you. He knew you were meant to be a leader, yet you gave up on that dream and had laid down all your independency.

“Not really.” Shrugging, you quickly linked arms with your husband, leading him to the secret entrance of the headquarters. It was sealed with nen, just like back then.

At leas that didn’t change, and so you’d soon find yourself in the middle of the hall where you’d plan all of the operations back then.

“You’re home.” That solemn tone was fitting for your father: Hard to detect his emotions, but easy to understand. “Welcome home.”

Illumi took a few steps back, almost withdrawing into a dark corner of the room as if he wanted to disappear from this earth. He was more likely to be a mere bystander or observer than to be in social situations.

“My little angel of death!” your mother almost cried out, both incredibly happy and sorrowful. “You’ve returned to us!”

“And that handsome young man over there?” After she was done smothering your face in kisses, she directed her welcoming nature to Illumi was well. “C’mon, don’t be shy. Take a seat!”

That’s right. She’s never seen him before. He was here exactly once to propose in front of your father - god knows how he even got inside. Obviously it wasn’t really a big deal to him.

Your family was so insignificant compared to his heritage - not that it mattered to you, it was just an observation.

“When we heared your wish to bid our humble fort a visit, we were greatly honored” your father declared as all of you sat down at the great, round table. Now everyone was there: Siblings, uncles and aunts, even your grandparents and great-grandparents. “And we are glad of your safe arrival.”

Illumi didn’t really seem to be impressed, being able to silence the room with a single gesture of his hand. “Don’t go out of your way. I am here because Y/N wished to see you.”

You couldn’t help but smirk at his polite manner, even though he wasn’t very talkative. Trying to get a hold of his hand under the table, you’d spend the day just like that.

Hours just flew by as your family held a great dinner to honor ‘the happy couple’, with Illumi absorbing every little detail like a dry sponge: Daily conversations about irrelevant topics, tales about the past and especially the childhood.

He even managed to show a lopsided smile when he realized something made you particulary happy.

Yet everytime someone of your family tried to get close to you, all of you noticed how tense he became.

Of course he was very possessive, and didn’t want to share you with anyone. But it was so damn sweet that he at least tried to get himself together...

“I’ll be waiting outisde. Might give the town a visit.” Even through all of your objections, your husband was gone faster than any of you could comprehend. “Take all the time you need.”

“He’s amazing” you thought to yourself, not noticing how much you were trembling due to your excitement. Being here together with him was such a huge progress, and he was doing so damn great.

“Y/N?” Your father was the first one to take the word, clearing his throat before continuing. “Now that we’re alone...”

Of course he knew they weren’t. Illumi was supervisioning everything somehow. But they waited for so long, and needed to let it out.

It was ‘speak now or stay silent forever’.

“Tell us about life with the Zoldycks.” Your sister once again let her hand run up and down your arm, and you realized this wasn’t just loving closeness - they were searching for injuries. “Are they harsh on you?”

“His family is pretty crazy, but it’s nothing wild, really. I manage” you stated, pulling away from the touch of your siblings.

All of the eyes were on you now, dropping the act. Everything left was sympathy and...guilt?

“So...what’s your point?” You didn’t know why, but their glares made you furious somehow. Maybe because you knew what they were hinting at. “Just speak your mind.”

“Y/N, dear...” Now your mother was the one taking the initiative, squeezing your hand ever so slightly. “We’re so, so sorry! You need to understand why we did this, okay?”

“Did what?” When they didn’t respond, you repeated the question with a much weaker, almost broken voice. “Did...what?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” your brother now spoke, almost disgusted by what he was about to say. “Giving you away to this...freak.”

“Huh?”

Your mother now clung to you, as if you were about to disappear if she was to ever let go. “There was no other choice!” she exclaimed, while your father dramatically swung his balled fist on the table. “The Zoldycks are dangerous! We knew your fate was sealed when he came asking for your hand in marriage...”

“Of course we despise that sick weirdo. Who would wish for their child to be with someone like him?!” your father continued, his explanation wrenching your heart dry. “But if we hadn’t complied, they would’ve taken you by force. You know they would’ve killed all of us. It was to protect the family, so we had to give you up! My sweet, sweet child-”

“-shut up” you whispered as you felt tears burning in your eyes.

“It’s okay, Y/N” your sister was trying to wipe them away, letting her thumb run over your cheek. “We’ve grown stong now, Y/N! You don’t need to protect us anymore, we’re-”

“You still don’t stand any chance against them.” You got up from your chair, slamming your palms on the table. “But that’s not the point!”

“What did that monster do to you?” 

“Oh, he? Nothing!” you now screamed, slamming a plate to the ground to release some of the built-up tension. “In opposite to you, who abandoned their daughter to save their own skin!”

You didn’t know. How could you have missed that fact? Those people weren’t glad you married him, they just weren’t honest with you.

And they were selfish - for all they cared, they would’ve given you away to die if Illumi had been that way.

“My husband-” you choked on a sob, feeling as if the love you felt for Illumi was crushing you, keeping you from breathing freely. “He’s been here with you, wanting to understand what a normal family is like. But only now I realize this one is just as fucked up!”

“Don’t say something like tha-”

“I’m not done!” Suddenly, an outburst of your aura shook the whole room. “Illumi is a kind and confused person. He was benevolent with you, against all of his teachings. And you are talking behind his back? How cowardly of you. I thought we were a family of proud warriors!”

All of them were looking at each other, nodding in unity as they all thought the same.

“Illumi Zoldyck is probably the most dangerous of them all. Maybe not the strongest, but the most mad of them all.” You grid your teeth, almost snarling at your grandfather’s words. “Don’t fool yourself, Y/N. Love is a foreign concept for him. The word has spread across the whole continent: Even his own family, those bloodthirsty monsters fear that young man!”

“You don’t know him like I do.” Turning around, you prepared to leave - but your siblings blocked the way. “As if I’d listen to the opinions of people who gave me away just like that.”

“Listen to us, Y/N. Maybe you can free yourself. He might’ve placed a needle-”

“That’s enough.”

Your eyes widened in wonder. How did Illumi get back in without any of you noticing?

Yet here he was, and his aura had turned purple, stained with black from all the disappointment, hurt and anger he miraculously contained without breaking down.

“I think Y/N is tired and wants to leave.” His voice was as unaffected as always, yet one look of him was enough to make your siblings freeze in terror.

“You’re Y/N’s family, so I won’t kill you” your husband declared in an absentminded tone, grabbing your wrist and turning towards the exit without anyone daring an attempt to stop him. Just after he shoved you out of the door, Illumi would turn around one last time -  a threatening ember sparkling in his eyes.

“But consider this a warning: Y/N belongs to me.”

“Why?” your father asked with an almost begging undertone. “Why did it have to be Y/N?”

“Because your child is important to me.”

Illumi had carried you all the way out of the town, only getting to a hold when you were at a mountain far enough away. Not that your family would follow you anyway.

After being done crying to your heart’s extend, your husband let you down in the slightly wet grass, and you were able to see the dim lights of the city far away at the horizon.

“We’ve played here very often” you sniffled, trying to get a hold of yourself. “My siblings and I.”

“Ah.”

You appreciated moments like these. Illumi was a very good listener, even though you weren’t even sure that he actually cared about what you were saying.

It just felt good to have him near when you were sad.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Lumi...they shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay.” No, it wasn’t You knew he tried to hard to be the best version of himself today, to try and respect boundaries and to trust people, and yet- “I am aware I’m a repulsive person.”

“Not to me.” Gently stoking his face, you could feel him rubbing his cheek on your palm in return.

“That’s enough for me.”

For a while, you just sat there, enjoying your closeness and the absence of anyone else in silence.

“So this is what family is like” Illumi cut through the nature’s sounds, “They protect you. And they only want your best.”

“They only ever thought of themselves.” You pulled your knees onto your chest, burying your face in them.

“I refuse to believe that.” Your husband wanted to pat your back, but decided against it just at the last second. “They seemed to be in great pain because of their actions. Can’t this only be because they cared about you?”

He was right, of course. The man with the heart of stone was great at knowing other people’s feelings, apparently. What an irony.

But you were too angry at that moment to listen to his rational explanation. That was only human, too.

“You know, when I was a child, my parents-”

“Please.” You wanted him to stop right there and now. “Don’t elaborate.”

Every time Illumi would complete a story about his childhood, it usually ended up with you having a crying fit. Then he was the one having to console you instead of the other way around, and it made you only feel guilty.

Of course you were happy that he’d finally open up a little, but...no. Just not now.

“You defended me” he changed the topic, quietly adding “Even though they were right...”

“That’s only natural. You’re my husband.”

Back then, you didn’t know Illumi’s intentions when he asked you to become his. But truth was, you didn’t regret it - not even for a second.

Illumi on the other hand was as overwhelmed as always.

“I was afraid you’d stay with them.” His voice sounded impassive, yet you knew him better than that. “But now-”

Listening to you passionately defending your husband’s honor was satisfying, obviously - yet knowing you broke with your family left a foul aftertaste in his mind.

No one ever stood up for him like that.

What a day.

His mind was racing, still trying to catch up with everything that had happened today: You did all of that, no - gave up so many things, just because of him.

His entire life was going one set and predetermined way, revolving around his family. Yet meeting you had changed both of your fates in a completely different direction.

And this meant he now had to learn with the consequences of actions he did out of his own, free will.

What for? And was it good or bad?

Now that he was with you, he had liberties. Choices. But freedom felt wrong and made him feel...scared? Not even he could decipher his emotions very well.

All that was clear from now on that - to a certain extend - you were free to draft your own ways - and together, it didn’t seem all that bad for him.

_____

If you want to get on the taglist or get removed from feel free to ask! ♡

@roseburry-jam @food-cures-all @oprah-winfriess @ullinic @sun-and-moon-elfingsmeme @chocolateislovr @sapphic-ghoul@coco724 @jessiejunebug @yukiwins @weflyinfluff@readlatersnowy @gibk @spasmodicterror @djgirl66 @pweeenis@trblsicheng @theromaniangirl @cluelessmxnd @s1sterofthemoon @spasmodicterror @note-reblog @tamxixxx @orophaea @frankenduffy @cinnamon-beans @8-ash @cherryyongs @destructive-memories @patheticgay69 @sappyisyourpappy @sadferalgremlin @selca11 @itsfakearies @djgirl66 @rizawantspizza@g-creevan913 @oprah-winfriess @actressania @rolo-at-midnight @slutforpapawise @myminmango @scatter-mind001 @mimilovesfantrolls @the-temple-pythoness @g-creevan913 @jovialnoise @gibk @callumi @jiminie666 @justhavefunwithit @nadzhaf @corpse-deactivated20011031 @mariana-127 @menhwra @rolo-at-midnight @ihavemultiplefandomsbutcantfocus @jaz-plaz @loser-alert @illumifucker69 @leenaofarc @catlovesdogs17​ @softvgold @gibk @bungeedummy @cinnamon-beans @illum1swhore​ @avaskylynnbrook​ @winchescumberholland​ @beifongt​ @kalxswin​ @reblogmeplease​ @kola95​ @xxx-angelic​

Feedback is always appreciated!

[yoondoze]

make a wish | jjk - 2

jeongguk didn’t know it, but his wish came true. as the best things in life do, it comes back around.

alternatively: a compilation of scenes in the after of “make a wish” and how they pile up and weigh you down until it’s too much to handle.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

word count: 6.4k

genre: angst, fluff, romance, best friend!au, mutual pining... shh

warnings: language. besides that, this is pretty tame! only slightly edited bc its 2 in the morning and i just want to get this up lol

a/n: didn’t mean for this to be so long but i got a little carried away. this wraps up make a wish, so i hope you guys like it! also, feedback is always appreciated in any way shape or form <3 muah!

It’s just as you’re leaving when Jeongguk’s phone rings. His eyes widen in disquiet as he stares at the number displayed at the top of his phone. In preparation, he shakes out his limbs dramatically and takes a deep, exaggerated breath. Considering it’s for your entertainment, you roll your eyes and wave him on.

He picks up.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end is muffled as you try your best to listen in. Your heart pounds in anticipation, gripping onto the straps of your purse with white knuckles.

“Yeah. Okay. Okay, great.”

He paces around the room aimlessly. His fingers fiddle with a loose thread on his sweatpants as he listens closely. You’re sure he’s already sweating, more nervous than you could imagine despite the playful act he put on before answering.

“Yeah. That’s fine! Okay, thank you so much. Alright, bye.”

He’s facing away from you as he clicks the end call button. Just as you’re about to ask, he spins on his heel, lips pursed as he holds back a grin.

“Guess who got the job?”

A toothy grin spreads across his face as he singsongs. Jeongguk’s expression of pure excitement is a privilege to see. It’s impossible to deny how it lights up your own.

“Oh my god, you got the job?”

“I got the job!”

His bangs bounce as he jumps with both fists raised in glory. You squeal, going in for a tight hug and swaying back and forth as you congratulate him.

“I’m proud of you, Gguk,” you say into his shoulder. “Really, I am.”

And when you say it, you mean it. After so many months of struggling at his old company, he took the leap and applied for a position at a more well-known film studio. The late night introduction practices with you, which included him reciting prepared resume-esque lines and weeks of tiring interviews had paid off like you knew he deserved it to.

“Okay. I should get home,” you try, voice strained as his arms crush your diaphragm like walls in a deadly escape room. Upon hearing your winded sentence, he loosens his grip.

You don’t even think about what it might mean before you place a departing kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek, fueled by the elation running through you at the upward turn of events. It’s an accident, it just happens naturally as if it was something you’ve done a thousand times. It only hits you that you shouldn’t have after it’s already done.

Sure, you make out and kiss all the time, but the difference is that’s only when you’re taking advantage of the benefits you worked out. That kissing is all attraction, nothing chaste or romantic like this. So when you pull away from the hug, you expect to see his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and giving you a look of disgust.  

“Uh-” you sputter, ever a wordsmith, trying to think of some rational explanation to excuse why you might have kissed him like that. The previous bouts of joy sparking in your heart fly out the window.

However, his eyes only show a mild, innocent surprise. At his silence, it doesn’t seem like he’s going to address it, and you assume he’ll assume it was just congratulatory. You can work with that.

“Bye. I’ll text you when I get home,” you blurt as untroubled as it can come, spinning on your heel and hurrying out the door. After closing it behind you, you slump back against it for a breath.

God, what were you thinking? Were you fucking stupid? Your fingers find your forehead finds as you try to convince yourself it wasn’t that bad. You’re prone to over analyzing, anyway. Jeongguk’s too occupied to think about it like that. He just got his new job, he has a thousand new things to worry about. He won’t read into it. If he does, he’ll think of it as a heat of the moment sort of thing.

Right?

Inside, Jeongguk pauses, staring at where you were standing just a second ago and scratches the back of his neck. The corners of his mouth turn up slowly. 

He finds himself checking his phone every five minutes for a text from you, which never comes.

☆☆☆

At the end of the day, it was your fault. 

It was your thoughtless action that made Jeongguk think that incorporating romantic gestures like that into your relationship could still be platonic. You rocked the boat with that one, but it wasn’t enough to completely capsize your vessel, and for that you were grateful. 

Still, your heart now tore itself into smaller and smaller pieces every time he kissed you goodbye or grabbed your hand to swing it back and forth or wrapped his arm around you after cleaning up. 

“By the way,” he says, tossing you one of his shirts from his place in front of his dresser. He pulls on a clean pair of boxers as you cover up. “There’s this work dinner I have to go to next week for networking and stuff, and it’s a buffet-type thing so they charge you for a spot. But, I found out that there is a couple’s discount and was wondering if maybe… you’d want to come with me?”

The hopeful sparkle in his eyes is one you just can’t ignore. Doing so would feel like a one-way ticket to hell, the only valid consequence for such a rotten crime.

“Yeah, sure.”

His smile at your compliance takes away all the apprehension you might have had, at least for a second. He wears it like a medal.

“Okay, good. I have to talk to a lot of people so I’d just feel better if you were there.”

Your brows draw together as you watch him get dressed. “But Gguk, you’re good at talking to people,” you say, going as far as to admit teasingly, “You’re fairly charming.”

He laughs, hopping into his slacks. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t freak out inside. It’s scary!” The dark brown mop of hair atop his head jostles into his eyes as he adds, “There’s gonna be a lot of well-known people there so it’s my chance to make some connections.”

Despite that, you’re sure he’ll be just fine. By nature, Jeongguk is inviting and easy to talk to. That is one of the reasons why you became such fast friends, and probably why you lasted so long. Along with his agreeable presence, his captivating looks probably wouldn’t hurt in striking up a deal either, though you’d never say that to his face.

“What’s the dress code?”

“Semi-formal I think?” He says, looking out of the corner of his eye. “I don’t know what that constitutes in terms of dresses but…”

A certain memory tugs at the back of his head. He considers just leaving it there, maybe slightly sentimental for his usual image, but what’s the harm in bringing it up?

“Do you remember the dress you wore for my brother’s graduation dinner? The blue one?”

You, on the other hand, are just surprised he remembers something like that. It must have been years ago by now. Still, it’s a good memory. It was a breezy evening by the shore to celebrate his brother’s graduation from college. The dinner was nice, but the best part was when you and Jeongguk ended up sneaking off to go sit on the beach later on in the night.  

Jeongguk is intertwined into nearly every lasting memory you make. It’s hard to imagine a world where he isn’t a part of each story you retell or each thought that crosses your mind.

“Oh, yeah, of course. It’s probably buried in my closet somewhere.” 

He’s relieved you don’t question him.

You might have to do some digging when you get home to find it, but you definitely still have it. It’s not like you have the money to be purchasing new semi-formal dresses for every occasion.

“That would be good. Or something like it, I don’t know.” He finishes buttoning up his shirt and tugs on the cuffs to straighten them out. His reflection in the mirror sends you a beaming smile, at this point accepting how his heart rate seems to spike every time he sees you in one of his shirts nowadays. He’s gotten very good at lending them to you casually.

He continues after a glance at the clock tells him he’s been letting his time with you slip on for more time than he can afford even though he wishes he could stay. “Anyway, I have to get going so make sure you lock the door behind you when you leave.” And then he’s padding out the door, car keys jingling in his hand as he picks them up from the dish on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, and Y/N?” He pokes his head around the hallway entrance to see you. “There’s coffee out here for you when you want it.”

He dashes off before you have the chance to react or even say thank you, a sheepish grin tugging at his features as he walks to his car. When you go out to see, it’s already made with cream and sugar, just the way you like.

☆☆☆

“You look really pretty tonight, Y/N,” Jeongguk says, voice soft as ever, eyeing your dress as you step out of the car. “Seriously, I mean it.” The heels you wear click evenly like a metronome’s beat on the pavement as you walk around to join him at his side.

You ignore the heat in your cheeks, rather offering an endearing grin as you grip the clutch in your hand. “You too, Gguk. You’ll do great tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made everyone here fall for you while you’re at it.”

His initial thought is to ask if that includes you, but his better judgment tells him it’s too bold. Instead, he just laughs and hands his car keys to the valet.

The dinner is a week later at a stunning three-floor, dimly lit fine dining restaurant decorated with dark hardwood and intricate chandeliers that make the soreness in your neck seem worth it while observing them.

Jeongguk cleans up nice, and even though you’ve already known this for a long time, you consider it a treat since this attire rarely, if ever, sees the light of day. 

He props out his elbow and nudges for you to take it, which you so graciously do. Together you walk to the glass doors, through which you can see the party has just started. You can already hear the muffled music and chatter in the background.

“By the way,” he says, leaning down to your ear, like what he’s about to tell you is no big deal. “I… might have told my coworkers that we’re engaged-”

“Engaged!?” you whisper, eyes wide and staring at him incredulously. 

So maybe he should have told you earlier. In his defense, he needed the extra time to produce an irrefutable excuse. In the end, it was only sort of reasonable, but he was hoping you would just roll with it. Isn’t that what the two of you always did?

“I know, I know! But listen. It just makes more sense in terms of you being my plus one and it also makes me seem like I have my shit together. And it’s always good for me to seem like I have my shit together, right?”

You sigh, narrowing your line of sight at him. “Okay. What do I do if someone asks why I’m not wearing my ring then?”

He mutters, “Oh, yeah.” Then he’s fishing through his side pocket and out comes a shiny silver ring with a small diamond placed into the center, held so flippant between his fingertips. “It’s my grandma’s. Borrowed it from home for this weekend.”

His heart pounds. Was that smooth enough? He has a lot of talents, but he isn’t sure if this was one of them just yet. Jeongguk tenses as he waits for your reaction. Best case scenario, his carefree attitude about it will rub off onto you.

“I figured it’d fit you,” he adds.

When it slides on perfectly, you know there’s no going back. Yet somehow, it is completely in character of him. You should have expected something like this because Jeongguk always has and always will be a man of spontaneity.

You’ll have to ask him how he knows your ring size sometime.

Inside, he introduces you to his coworkers. There are too many to remember but you catch a few here and there that you recall him talking about before, like Namjoon, the diligent Production Assistant and Taehyung, another member of the crew who he often eats lunch with. It’s an initial blur of faces and few-worded exchanges before you can take a breather off to the side.

“Not bad?” he asks, his thumb tracing circles over your knuckles. The way it makes your heart flutter is addictive. He has you in his palm and he doesn’t even know it. Unfortunately, you don’t know if it’s something you can give up yet, not without it being messy.

There’s a short line behind a board that displays the seating arrangement, and though it’s moving quickly, it allows you a moment of space from the other guests.

A tired smile pulls at your lips. “Not bad.” You squeeze his hand in yours.

The people in front of you move from the board into the dining hall so both of you can inch up. Jeongguk’s eyes trace the small handwriting, eventually spotting the two of you in the far corner of the room.

Dinner goes well, and Jeongguk does the most of the talking. It’s nice to see him so bright as he laughs with his coworkers. It’s that part of him that he’s had since he was a kid, the part that made him fit in so naturally and charm every person around him. Seeing it out in the open and no longer repressed from emotional baggage is heartwarming. Compared to a few months ago, you might not recognize him at all.

After a while, Jeongguk wipes his mouth with his napkin and pushes his chair out from the table. “Alright, I’m gonna head to the bar lounge for a little while and see who I can talk to. Are you gonna be fine on your own?”

He’s nervous, you can tell. By the way his eyes dart around the room, the way he’s biting the inside of his bottom lip. 

“Yeah, go ahead,” you nod, taking a sip of water. “I’ll just stick around here.”

He gives himself a once over and wipes his palms on his slacks.

You tap his shoulder, bringing him down so you can whisper to him a small, “You’ll do great.”

He pulls back with a shy, one-sided smile. “Thank you. I hope so. Text me if you need anything.” Effortlessly, he plants a chaste kiss to your cheekbone that has your face ablaze and excuses himself from the table. The feeling of his lips on your skin sticks well after he’s gone.

Ryujin, the script supervisor, puts down her drink with a roll of her eyes. “Finally, all the boys are gone. I’ve been trying to talk to you the entire time but he’s always butting in!”

It pulls a laugh from you. “No, no, he’s just trying to help,” you explain, “I’m new to everyone here so he just doesn’t want me to feel awkward.”

“Yada yada,” says a bubbly Chaeryoung, a PA, waving it off with her hand. “I expected him to be protective with how much he talks about you, but wow. It’s cute though. Sometimes I wish I had someone like that.”

“Yeah, I’m really lucky,” you nod, reminded that you’re just pretending. You’re lucky, but not that lucky. “But… wait, what kind of stuff does he say about me?”

Ryujin chortles at your worry. “Oh, only good things. Just stuff you do together, jokes, those kinds of things. You’re involved in a lot of stories in some way or another.”

“Like, “This one time in high school, Y/N and I got in a fight...” or “Last week, we went to this new brunch spot and Y/N got this sandwich…’” Chaeryoung clarifies, but it only makes you want to pry further.

As she says it, both of the memories come floating back clear as day. You can’t remember what exactly you argued over, but it had been when you were paired as partners in a history class. The sandwich, you recall, was heaven on earth. The images are picture-perfect despite how they’d been buried.

The fact that Chaeryoung remembered things you didn’t is mildly startling, but you’re more surprised that Jeongguk shared so much. Not that it’s an issue, you just didn’t think you’d find yourself being perceived by so many people you had no prior knowledge of. The idea of him spilling your high school gossip fits like a puzzle to his persona, but the thought never occurred to you that he might think about you when you’re not there.

But you won’t let yourself become too optimistic.

“Yeah,” you laugh, “I think it’s different since we grew up together as family friends. He’s in a lot of my stories, too.”

“Ugh, that’s cute,” Ryujin sighs. If only. “So when did you start liking each other? Or start dating?”

You take a deep breath as if you’re looking back on the day when in reality you’re just trying to come up with the most believable love story you can manage. It’s also your most ideal. Maybe if your current situation went the way you wanted.

“I think we liked each other at different times over the years. Y’know, I liked him when we were kids, he liked me when we were teenagers, kind of on and off like that. But sometime after college, I think the cycle lined up once and for all and…“

Do you think you could manifest it by speaking it into existence?

“...here we are.”

That thought was stupid. You make yourself forget about it. Stop with the hope, remember?

When you finish your spiel, you think you’ve finally made it in the clear. Until another question comes.

“So what was your first date like? Was it weird?”

You know they’re just trying to make conversation, but god, you’re not ready for this. You’re preoccupied with other problems. If only they knew how your brain was short-circuiting in an effort to think up an explanation that will make you sound versed and most importantly, convincing. You go with what you wish had happened. 

“Um, a little bit, but since we had been close friends for such a long time, I think we had that mutual understanding of how things were so we could laugh about it. We just…” you say, shaking your head along, lips pursing as your train of thought rolls through the detailed daydream you know so well. “...went out to dinner one night... and it was sort of a process to transition to something more romantic, I guess, but it just kind of happened.”

But it feels nice to be Jeongguk’s girl. Even if you’re just playing a part. If you sink yourself into the atmosphere, tune into the clinking of the glasses, and the relaxing jazz in the background, you can pretend you’re really engaged and sharing your love story to whoever will listen.

Would it hurt too much to hold out on it one day become reality?

“I’m always so happy when the company hosts these events,” Chaeryoung comments, leaning back in her chair to take in the room. “It’s the only time I can come to a place like this since you know I can’t afford it with my own money.” A small talk sort of laugh bubbles up from her as she says it. There is an inkling of confusion that strikes you at her words, but you think you’ll just brush it off for the sake of being casual.

Ryujin looks to you as she adds, “And they even let you bring a plus one for free! You know, I was thinking of bringing my boyfriend, but I just felt like it might have been too soon…”

Your brows furrow as you recall the conversation with Jeongguk. Didn’t he say that it was a pay per guest scenario?

“So the company pays for these dinners?” you ask out of pure curiosity and with no hint of suspicion weaved in your tone.

“Yeah!” says Chaeryoung. “It’s all from the company’s budget since this is technically a networking event. Usually, people swap ideas or come up with deals that turn into projects a couple of weeks down the line.”

You nod along as she explains eagerly, but all you can hear is that there never was a price to pay to begin with, and more importantly meaning that there never was a discount. Not one that Jeongguk needed you around for. 

But why would he lie? 

Maybe Jeongguk was embarrassed asking for your company or didn’t want his ego bruised by telling you it was free and he wouldn’t have to pay for you. It’s the benefit of the doubt for your best friend (and love of your life, but that’s a separate issue) that makes it your first thought. In reality, thinking about the boy you know, it doesn’t make sense. At this point, he shouldn’t have to feel like that when it comes to you. 

Whatever the case may be, you hope that he knows he’d never need an excuse to invite you somewhere. It’s not like you’d ever refuse. You’d never refuse him, not in any life.

☆☆☆

It’s the middle of the night when another bad dream jolts you awake with a pounding heartbeat. Your eyes flutter open, brimmed with tears, to reveal that the moon is still high in the sky above the towering buildings, and a shift to the side facing the nightstand lets you know you have another three hours before you have to start your day and leave Jeongguk’s apartment.

The last few weeks, the dreams have been growing more and more common. Not enough for you to dread going to sleep just yet, but definitely something you’re quickly getting sick of. At this point, you’re tired of going to sleep just to wake up freaked out in a cold sweat. You chalk it up to the stress piling on you, not only that of regular adult life but that of your messy relationship with your best friend.

How ironic that must be, considering the whole reason it started was to relieve stress when now it’s your main source.

You empty your lungs with a shaky sigh and slide to the edge of the bed, intending to fetch a glass of water to calm yourself down. Before you can reach your feet, Jeongguk’s arm catches you at your waist, and then you’re being reeled back under the covers.

“Easy,” he mumbles, his voice grainy and low from sleep, “You’re fine. Talk to me.”

You swallow thickly, the scenes from your subconscious flashing back to you. “Um, that’s alright. Not a big deal.”

You wish he’ll just leave it at that and fall back asleep like he usually does. When his breathing steadies, you think you’re in the clear, but you are horribly mistaken when he yawns and adds, “You’ve been having a lot of nightmares recently.”

Is it another prompt for you to talk? You’re not sure what to say. 

In fact, you’re never sure what to say anymore. Never sure what’s too much, what’s too little, what the difference is between what you say and what you mean. The line blurred months ago and now you’re wandering blind.

You’d enjoy moments like this if it wasn’t for the stark fact that the person you’re with doesn’t love you like you love him. 

 “Yeah…” you agree. Right now, your chest is heavy and not strong enough to support a conversation. You hope that he’s not too drowsy to take the hint.

A small sound from him makes it seem like another sleepy sentence is in the works, but fortunately, the tension in your chest begins to fade when nothing comes out. His hair shuffles against the pillow and he presses a featherlight kiss to the back of your neck, lips lingering there for a second too long before he sinks back into his position.

When you’re sure he’s slipped under the veil of slumber again, you carefully slide out of his grasp and squeeze into your own space at the edge of the bed. You don’t know how much longer you can last like this.

☆☆☆

“She texted me.”

The sentence makes you stop chewing. Your movements stop aside from an absent blinking, gears spinning overtime to process it.

“She uh, she wants to meet up,” he tacks on. “I think I should go.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jeongguk slowly twists the pasta around his fork, taking a blatant newfound interest in his dinner. He takes a deep breath, but when he opens his mouth, the words catch in his throat.

“I don’t know. I think we need to talk about what happened.”

You scoff, and he takes an immediate offense to it. His eyebrows knit together as a wounded expression takes form on his features.

“What happened? Gguk, she dumped you because you were going through a hard time and she didn’t want to ‘deal’ with it.”

It’s not just you playing the protective best friend role and trying to talk sense into him. It’s not jealousy, either. And sure, maybe you never liked her to begin with, but for good reason. She ended up doing exactly what you thought she would - shattering his heart into a million pieces and leaving it for someone else to pick up the pieces. And considering that’s been you on a multitude of occasions, you think your point of view is valid.

“Listen, I don’t blame her… That can be really hard on someone.”

“So it’s okay for them to just pop in out of the blue, say they can’t handle your emotional issues and bounce? Someone who they claimed to love for over a year and a half? Someone who they were thinking about marrying?”

Jeongguk purses his lips as you speak, a hefty exhale coming through his nose in frustration.

“I just miss her sometimes!”

And you really wish Jeongguk would love you back, but we can’t all get our way, can we?

Not to throw yourself a pity party, though. It’s not like he owes you anything for what you do because you brought it on yourself. He doesn’t control your feelings, even when you want to blame the nerve he has for smiling because it makes you get all jittery. 

“She doesn’t even give a shit about me anymore! She’s out with other guys, doing all this shit, posting it everywhere. I… I loved her so bad and she acts like she has no clue.”

You give him pep talks when he’s about to go out with someone else. You comfort him when he’s distraught over someone else. You love him when he loves someone else. 

And then-

“You don’t know what that’s like.”

You freeze. Your heart leaps to your throat, closing the gate on your lungs until you forcibly open them again as subtle as possible. A stinging feeling you know all too well burns in your eyes as you try to hold back. Jeongguk doesn’t notice in the slightest as his gaze is still fixated on his food.

Your initial reaction is anger. All you want to do is yell, tell him wrong, tell him that you know it all too well because you love him and he’s pathetically oblivious whether by his nature or by choice. Everything you want to say, shouts and confessions, float across your mind and bounce around the walls as each one brings you further to opening your mouth and letting them spill. Then you just want to cry.

But you won’t do any of that. Your situation won’t allow it, not if you want to risk losing him. It’s not a risk you’re willing to take, even if it means suffering in it by yourself and letting the irony of his words go unrealized.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sigh, the fork gripped by your white knuckles tapping mindlessly against the side of the bowl as you swallow the feeling back down. Your hand comes up to scratch at the corner of your eye, wiping away the wetness beginning to pool composedly so he won’t notice.

“I don’t.”

☆☆☆

It’s on a Tuesday evening a couple of weeks in the future when you next see him. 

Maybe more than a couple. Maybe a few. Maybe too many. Just enough for his tone to turn to something more confrontational than just casual when he sends you a text saying that he wants to see you again. Particularly when he specified that no, he needed to see you again.

He suggests the park by the river. You’ve been there a few times with him for lunches and to hang out, but the energy is different this time around. Both of you know why you’re here, even though you never thought you’d have to be. 

For a while, you didn’t want to make things weird, so you’d come over when he’d ask and leave as soon as you could in an attempt to curb the damage on your heart. It wasn’t until three weeks ago that you actively started flaking on him. You’d let his calls ring until he hung up or left a message and say you were busy when there was absolutely nothing going on. 

He stopped by your apartment at one point, too. You were freaking out after he texted you he’d be visiting, pacing around and wondering what to do, what to respond, if to respond at all. The knock at your door came sooner than you expected. Before you were about to pull it open and face what you’d been so casual about denying for so long, it occurred to you: You could simply not open the door.

So you waited. He knocked a few more times, sighing so loud you could hear through the door. He called out your name softly, as if he knew you were right on the other side. He stayed for a few more minutes. Then came the sound of his footsteps padding away. You were safe for another day, but the awful feeling stuck in your chest for days.

It stuck in his, too. He knew he should have never gone that far, never said anything that night, but he also wondered if he could have done it any other way. Standing at your door and having to face the fact that you were undeniably steering clear of him, because of him, was a nightmare. It was stupid of him, but you’d see past it - wouldn’t you?

And now you’re seeing him live and in person for the first time in god knows how long. It’s a foreign feeling you’ve never felt with Jeongguk before, and you hate it. It’s been long enough for the sense of familiarity to fade, or at least be buried by time. 

Is this how a comet feels when it passes earth again after so many years apart? Does it feel new every time seeing how things have changed, or are they old friends who pick up where they left off?

“ So… what’s been going on with you?” Jeongguk asks nonchalantly, leaning back on his elbows and shaking the hair out of his eyes. “It’s been a while.”

“Uhh, I don’t know,” you shrug, vision focused on the calm waters in front of you. You tug at the grass under your fingertips, loosely hugging your knees to your chest as you sit beside him. “Not much I guess. Just work as usual, you know.”

“Yeah, but how are you?” he presses, trying to find your eyes as you avoid his.

He knew something was wrong from the evident distance and your attitude, but he didn’t think it’d be this bad. He didn’t think he’d fucked up this bad.

Your laugh is awkward and forced. “I’ve been fine. Been good.”

Thinking about the past few weeks, it’s not hard to remember but incredibly hard to grasp. It’s the same moments over and over, sourced from a lonely routine. Day by day spending time with yourself, missing Jeongguk, thinking about texting him but never doing it. Wash, rinse, repeat.

His face turns from you and you miss it the second you can’t see it. The feeling is off and both of you know it. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, biting at it as he thinks of what to say. If the wrong thing comes out, he’s worried he’ll chase you even further away. It took so much to even get you here.

“Listen, can I be honest with you?” he says.

Honesty is the best policy, isn’t it? He’s tired of beating around the bush. The two of you know so much more than bland small talk.

“Sure.”

He takes a deep breath. “I always thought that nothing could ever be uncomfortable with you and me. Like we could be straightforward and blunt without it being weird. But things right now are really weird and I don’t know what happened. You’re avoiding me and you don’t want to see me. It’s not like it used to be.”

Your nails scrape beneath each other, entangled in your lap. Clearly things aren’t the same, but you don’t have the energy to be snarky. There are so many things to address and you’re ignorant on where to start.

“I know there wasn’t a discount for the work dinner.”

He nods, looking out over the river. “Yeah, figured.”

“So why’d you lie?”

It’s his turn to shrug. “I just wanted you there and I didn’t know how to ask you. I… was starting to feel the shift and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Saying that just gave me an excuse to take any of the weight off.”

He adds quietly, “Your turn.”

“Gguk,” you start, shaking your head as you try to find the right words. You think of the kiss, the dinner, the ring, the argument.

“We act like a couple. We do things couples do. We pretend we’re a couple. But... we aren’t a couple.”

He’s silent. He knows where you’re going. He knew it before you even got here because if you didn’t bring it up first, he would have.

“I think you already know what’s going on, but if you need it spelled out for you, I kinda caught feelings for you. And then you give me your grandmother’s wedding ring and tell me you love me and it hurts so fucking bad because I know you don’t mean it like that. Not the way I wish you did.”

The words dissipate into the fresh evening air, soon filled by delicate chirps and birdsongs. Distant laughter floats around the park, with muffled ferry horns layered behind it all.

“How do you know?”

Your hand pauses, chlorophyll green blades pulled taut between your fingers. No fucking way.

“What?”

He scratches the back of his neck before locking his eyes with yours. “How do you know... that I don’t mean it like that?”

He’s not playing with you, is he? No, he wouldn’t. You respond slightly confused, hesitant to lean into his words just yet.

“Are you saying that you do?”

He laughs and it makes your chest feel like it might burst open. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve been saying it. I mean, I thought I was being obvious.”

You suppress the excitement bubbling in your stomach for a second longer to throw him a questionable expression with an extended palm for emphasis. “You told me you wanted to go see your ex-girlfriend and were talking about how you loved her.”

He exhales through his teeth as he squints at you. “Yeah, that went a little far...”

“Only a little?”

“I’m apologizing, so let me, please?” He says, eyes wide with a small smile tweaking up at his lips. “It was stupid. I wanted to see what you would say or if you would get jealous. ‘Cause I thought you might have felt the same and at the time that was the only thing I could think of doing.”

Your expression falls.

“Wait, so did you actually meet up with her?”

“No, no!” He exclaims, rushing to refute such a bizarre idea. “Yes, she texted me, but I said no. Everything you said was right, so… it wasn’t worth it.”

He thinks he’s done, until he sees your stare still lingering on him. What’d he miss? He flops over on his stomach, elbows in the grass as his chin rests on his palms to look at you.

“You also said I didn’t know what it was like to love someone who didn’t love me back.”

A cheeky grin grows on him. “Okay... but technically you don’t because I loved you back the whole time.” One of his arms lowers to the ground, his fingers finding your own. He weaves them together with an affectionate squeeze. “You just didn’t know.”

The way your heart flutters is different this time. Gone are the tiring nerves and teary eyes and the weight of stress on your shoulders. It’s a comfortable sort of excitement, one that you’re in love with almost as much as you are with the boy himself.

“Since when?” you ask shyly, feeling the tingle in your cheeks. 

It’s a relief to have Jeongguk back. A life without him wouldn’t be one you could ever get used to. 

He was there at the start, he’s here now, and he will be here for as long as he possibly can. When it comes to you, there’s no doubt. He’s yours every time.      

His deep brown eyes sparkle under the setting sun, golden and glowing, as he makes a point to find your own. Tone dulcet and tender, he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Since always.”

[jaywritessmut]

Weiß Chapter II- Calm Before the Storm

*Weiß- White in German

Florian Munteanu x black female reader (All my fics are with black women in mind!)

Warnings: mentions of death & drug use, criminal undertakings & unprotected sex (wrap it up folks!) Authors note: I finally found time to get this chapter up and I’ll be back to posting this story regularly. I’m introducing new characters in the next few chapters so keep posted. Message me if you want to be added to the tag list! Word Count: 3.4K

Weeks had gone by since her tryst with Florian, but Snow made no effort to discuss it. As far as she was concerned, it was a one time thing, just two people relieving stress and pent up emotions. She knew Flo was the non-committal type so his feelings couldn’t hurt all that much. And she herself was no stranger to casual sex. To Snow, forgetting it even happened was the best approach. Having a fling with her new enforcer wasn’t a smart business move and right now she needed to be very strategic with her next choices. 

Klaus’s death was wrapped up in so much uncertainty and she struggled to make sense of it. Flo’s theory was that the Russians killed him for seeking a new supplier. Apparently, Klaus had scheduled some meetings with people he suspected of being in the game themselves. But that just didn’t make sense to her. The Russian syndicate had been a reliable supplier for quite some time. Consistent quality, good price. What could make Klaus do something so stupid as to go against them? She played out different scenarios in her head but none of them helped her connect the dots. What she wouldn’t give to sit with her old friend and pick his brain for a bit. He was her closest friend and she began to realize how much of a mystery he was to her.

She’d been spending a lot more time at the club in the recent weeks. Between Florian giving her an overview of the enterprise and her desire to keep an eye on the business numbers, she had very little need to be elsewhere. And thankfully things at the club were phenomenal. Klaus had done an excellent job at hiring skilled staff that could do their job and securing talented entertainment to keep the guest list filled up. She was pleased to see that they were booked for DJ's and musicians for the next 6 months. And their scout, Jonas, was searching to fill the calendar for the rest of the year. At least she didn’t have to worry about her legitimate business. 

Today though, Florian was going to teach her how to look over the count. Every week, the “foot soldiers” came and dropped off their take from the product they sold. Florian and Klaus would then verify it and make sure they were consistent with what they had been given. The dealers were then told to wait for pickup details so they could get new product to sell. As Florian recounted all the steps, her mind swirled, overwhelmed with her situation.

“I’m a fucking drug dealer” she lamented, burying her face in her hands.

“Technically you’re a drug lord” Florian responded, causing her head to jerk back in surprise. 

“What difference does it make? I’m still involved!”

“Yeah, but you’re anonymous. The people who buy our product won’t ever see your face. They don’t even know you exist. Du bist ein geist” 

“Why is that strangely comforting?”

“Because it’s true. You’re protected. None of our people are ever going to rat on you. If you go down, this whole thing goes down and they lose the good money they make. Keeping you hidden, keeps their pockets happy”

“So why should I even be meeting with the Russians? Wouldn’t showing my face to them jeopardize all that?” A few days after their hookup, Florian received a call from Mikhail, the leader of the Russian enterprise they did business with. He told them that there was a new leader and they were all too happy to schedule a meeting. Snow wondered what their reaction would be once they came face to face with her. 

“That’s different”. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

“So think of it this way. A dealer is a little fish. He gets picked up, the police only want to use him to find who the bigger fish is, the boss. And that’s you. Then they use you to find the even bigger fish, your suppliers”

“The Russians”

“Genau. So now it’s in both of your best interest to keep each other hidden. If he gets caught, he has nothing to really bargain with. He still cares about his rep so he won’t throw you under the bus which means you walk away untouched. But if you get caught,”

“Then I can leverage knowing who he is”

“And now you understand. You’re probably the most protected person in this scenario. So relax Schnee”

She rolled her eyes at his nickname for her. It was starting to grow on her but she’d never tell him that. And to her surprise, she felt comforted by his breakdown of things. She knew the risks of being involved and it was something that weighed on her mind as she became more hands on. 

Late afternoon rolled in and it was time to prepare for her first meeting with the crew. Florian took her into Klaus office and gave her a quick walkthrough of what she needed. The money counter, Klaus’ iPad and the safe where the cash was placed. She took in the photos and assorted knick knacks he decorated the room with. A framed photo of the two of them on his desk made her feel a sharp pang of loss. In this room, his presence was heavily felt. So she made a mental note to call a decorator to renovate the space. 

One by one, her crew members trickled into the large room. She recognized some faces from the club which worried her. If they did get caught, how easy would it be for police to connect them to the club or her? And even though Flo was sure they’d keep quiet, how much could she really trust them? Sensing her distress, he leaned over and whispered in her ear.

“Relax. These are all Klaus’ people. He trusted them”

She pushed past the tingling feeling that came over her as his warm breath tickled the sensitive spot beneath her ear. A smug grin came across his face.

“Focus mädchen” he playfully warned.

She steeled herself and prepared for the remaining crew members to come and introduce themselves. But it was an all too familiar face that sparked fear and then rage into her heart. 

“Emmeline, what the fuck!?”

“Hey Lise”. Her sister nervously bit her lip, waiting for Snow to say more.

Her baby sister, Emmeline stood in front of her, a pink duffle bag gripped tightly in her hands. She felt absolute betrayal at the fact Klaus had approved of this without telling her.

“No. Absolutely not”

“Snow” Florian warned.

“You knew about this?!” Her head turned to him with eyes full of contempt. It was one thing that her best friend and associate kept silent on this, but Flo too? How was she supposed to trust him if he kept something this big from her?

“She’s our best dealer. She brings all the socialites to the club and Klaus thought it be good for business”

“She’s my baby sister!”

“She’s right here! Look Lise, don’t be mad. I begged Klaus to give me a shot. And besides, it’s not like I work on the streets. I just bring my rich friends to the club”

“So why are you here now?”

“Well, occasionally I supply parties. And I sometimes sell to the women at the day spas. You’d be surprised how popular coke is to those trophy wives”

Snow put her head in her hands and took deep breaths to calm herself. This whole situation was fucked up. It was bad enough that she was running the business, and now her sister was in on it too? Honestly, what the fuck was Klaus thinking?

Resigned to her fate, Snow sat up and wore a blank expression to conceal the swirl of emotions running through her. 

“We’ll talk about this later” Her clipped tone let Florian and her sister know that this conversation was far from over.

When the rest of the crew showed up, they lined up against the wall across from Klaus desk. One by one, Florian called them up to turn in their take. He counted the bills by hand then with an automated machine before inputting the numbers into the iPad he had shown her. After inputting the info, he listened attentively as they gave a run through of the territory they covered. And apparently things were going well, with the exception of Alexanderplatz. 

“It’s nothing, but the car keeps rolling through our territory” Luka, one of the faces she recognized earlier, had finished telling them about some suspicious activities on one of the streets he serviced. 

“Cops?” Florian probed.

“Nein. They’re too obvious. Cops hide. These guys pull up across the street and make eye contact. They want us to know they’re there.” 

“When did this start?” Snow inquired.

Luka paused in thought before realization came over him.

“Come to think of it, the night that Klaus was killed. Emil called to tell me some car had parked across the street. He thought it was the police so he closed up early. But then later on he said he thought the driver looked like that Dmitry guy that comes by the club sometimes”

Snow and Florian shared a knowing look. Dmitry was the younger brother of Mikhail and his business partner. The fact that he was purposely snooping on their crew was suspicious enough. Could the Russians really have been behind Klaus’ death?

“Thank you for telling us. Let us know the next time they pull up.”

“You got it Bossin”. An exciting jolt ran through her at hearing her new title. She liked it way more than Florian’s name for her.

The rest of the crew had uneventful reports to share when handing in their take. She was grateful that there weren’t more issues to worry about. But to her dismay, Emmeline’s count was the highest by far. Just her luck.

“You gotta let me know when more product comes in ASAP. I’ve got a line of clients wanting to stock up for a major party next week” 

“We’ll have to discuss that before anything is decided” Snow watched as her sister narrowed her eyes in contempt. She knew this wasn’t going to be an easy battle.

“Lise, you’ve got to be shitting me. Look at my count, I’m bringing in serious profit!”

“I can see that. But I’m in charge now and I reserve the right to make changes to my crew and who I allow to represent the business. I’ll discuss it with Florian and let you know”

“You’re really going to be a bitch about this?” 

Emmeline’s mouth had always been her problem. She was quick to pop off without thinking things through. Most of the time, Snow ignored her. But today, her attitude set her off and caused her once controlled anger to spike.

“Everybody out, NOW!” Snow’s voice took on a commanding tone that made everyone stand at attention. Even Florian found himself quickly rising from his seat and leaving the office. He flashed Emmeline a sympathetic glance before closing the door behind himself.

Turning to her sister, Snow tried her best to control her tone.

“Look I’m not sure what Klaus was thinking by letting you in on this. But this little arrangement stops now”

There were too many variables to consider and she was by no means comfortable with putting her sister at risk. 

“God you’re impossible. You can’t ever let me have anything for myself”

“Girl cut the crap. I’m your biggest supporter and always have been. I have your back with anything you pursue but not this Em. This is way too dangerous”

“So you can be a drug lord, but I can't?” she countered.

“Grow the fuck up Emmeline. My involvement is drastically different from yours and you know it”

“Bullshit! You pretend to care about me when really you just don’t want to share the spotlight. You want all this for yourself. Can’t have your baby sister be doing just as good as you, huh?”

To her detriment, Emmeline would go out of her way to prove that she was just as good, if not better than her older sister. Yet Snow never indulged her. She’d always felt that their “rivalry” was one sided.

“Em, this is about your safety. What I’m doing is so unbelievably dangerous. I just lost my best friend. I can’t lose you too”

Her sister folded her arms across her chest and let out a frustrated sigh.

“I get it Lise, I do. But I’m an adult. I’m old enough to make my own choices and decide what’s risky. I have my own system and people I vet before doing business with them. I'm good at this Lise, let me show you. Besides, nobody here has your back like I do. I’ll be damned if I leave you to do this without people in your corner”

“I’ve got Flo. He’s been helping me the past few weeks”

“Oh I’m sure you do,” she suggested.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Just that Tamir told me he saw you leave the club with Flo a few weeks ago. He came back the next morning in his clothes from the night before. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” she teased.

“Nope. Not a thing. Let’s just get back to business” she urged as she made her way to the door. She was not having that conversation today.

“So does that mean I can stay on?” she bounced in excitement waiting for her sister’s response. 

“For now. But I mean it Em. One hint of you being in danger and I pull you out”

Squealing with excitement, Emmeline rushed forward and pulled Snow in a tight hug

“Thank you Lise! I promise I’ll be safe, just watch, you’ll never have to worry about me”

“You’re my baby sister. I’m always going to worry” She held her tightly, wondering if she was making a mistake. 

A knock on the door interrupted their moment as Florian stuck his head in the door frame.

“Y’all good?”

“Yes Florian, we’re good”

“Great, can we wrap up things then? We still have to set up the club for tonight”

The club was hosting a memorial event in Klaus’ honor. There were planned speeches from friends and business associates before a night of dancing and letting loose. It seemed fitting for a man who was determined to have a good time where he went. 

After inputting final numbers into the iPad and securing the cash, Florian stood up behind the desk.

“I know the past few weeks have been tough with Klaus being gone. We all miss him and want to find who’s responsible for his death. I want to thank you all for keeping it together and running things smoothly. Just keep up the good work and keep an eye out for anything funny going on. We’re a family and we have each other's backs, okay?”

He turned to Snow expectantly.

“Bossin, want to add anything?”

It caught her by surprise. She hadn’t thought of preparing anything to say. She really was just there to watch and learn. But if she was going to step up and run things, now was the time to make her presence known. She stood up and pushed past the nerves that overcame her and spoke.

“Some of you may know me as the owner of the club, but I’ve always been the head of the enterprise. I simply trusted Klaus to be the mastermind that kept things going and I can see now I was right. You’re all doing very well for yourselves, the numbers don’t lie. The system he created is incredible”

The group before her hummed in agreeance.

“With Klaus gone, I’ll be taking a more active role. Florian is getting me accustomed to things but I know I’ll be very well versed in how things work. So make no mistake, I am the one calling the shots. You all answer to me. You give me respect and loyalty, I reward you. And if you cross me? Let’s just say you don’t want to find out what will happen. So let’s keep things on a positive note and keep working as a team, We’re in this together and if one of us fucks up, it puts us all at risk. Alles klar?”

Assorted affirmations echoed through the room and that familiar jolt ran through her again. Being in charge did things to her and she was half tempted to kick everyone out and fuck Flo on the desk. But she forced the idea from her mind. 

That’s what I get for fucking my enforcer she thought to herself.

Florian dismissed the team after telling them to keep an eye out for the pick up details. Emmeline shot her sister a knowing look as she sauntered out the room and closed the door behind her. 

The vibe in the room changed as soon as the door closed. She could feel the tension hanging heavily in the air. She watched as Flo walked over to the safe, securing the iPad with the cash counted earlier. The sight of his back muscles flexing in the white Henley tee he wore brought flashbacks of her nails digging into the taut flesh just weeks ago. 

Flo turned to face her, taking in her flushed appearance and ragged breathing. A look of realization came across his face as he walked over to her.

“Don’t tell me you get off on being in charge, huh?”

He sauntered over to her, lightly tracing his lower lip with his tongue. She imagined him running it over the sensitive flesh between her thighs. 

“That’s funny, I could’ve sworn you liked it when someone else took the reigns”

He kept pursuing her until she found herself pushed up against the large oak desk. Florian reached forward and gently lifted her on the desk before slowly hitching up the maxi skirt she wore. A whimper broke through her throat at the feel of his calloused hands on her thighs. 

“So tell me Schnee? Who’s in charge now? Ich oder du?”

He pulled her in, hungrily claiming her mouth with an intense need for more. His hands slipped further up her skirt relishing in the feel of her warm, smooth skin. He traced the rough pads of his fingertips on her inner thighs, causing her to spread her legs wider. He took advantage of the extra room and pushed closer against her. His noticeable erection brushed against her clit through the thin lace of her panties and she moaned into his kiss, causing him to grow harder.

Snow was desperate to feel him, to have him completely consume her. Her body moved of its own accord, her hips thrusted upwards to feel him once more. Internally she was waging a mental war. Her logical mind fought to snap her out of this spell and to push him away before things escalated, but she was too far gone. His hands worked their way to the loop of her lace panties causing all doubts and reservations to scatter. 

“Flo please” she mewled as his lips latched onto the sensitive flesh on her shoulder. Right now, there was only one goal on her mind; to be pinned underneath him while he had his way with her.

But the sudden knock at the door halted their plans and snapped them out of the trance. Hearts beat wildly as they gazed at one another, stunned by what almost transpired. A second knock sprung them into action and they quickly made themselves presentable. Snow smoothed out her skirt and fixed her hair while Florian made sure to to hide the impressive bulge in his pants. With one glance back at Snow, he opened the door to Emmeline standing there with a knowing grin on her face.

“Excuse me” he mumbled before taking off to the bar to prepare for the evening's events. 

Emmeline stared at his retreating form with that same smirk before turning back to her sister.

“What did you need Em? Snow carefully took a seat behind desk to conceal the slight tremor in her knees. But Emmeline didn’t miss the shaky tone of her voice.

“Girl stop playing with me and tell the truth! Y’all fucking?”

Snow couldn’t help the giggles that spilled out. Her sister was not going to let this go until she knew the truth.

“Fine” she huffed, wiping the tears from her eyes.  “I’ll tell you everything but we’re going to need a lot of wine”

Translations:

Genau- Exactly

Du bist ein geist- “You are a ghost”

mädchen- girl

Nein-no

Bossin- boss

Alles klar?- Is everything clear?

Ich oder du- “Me or you?”

My Taglist: (Message me to be added)

@fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression​ @champagnesugamama​ @designerwriterchic​ @xxkissatmidnightxx @cavillsbussy @starbeanz​ @scoop93535

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Room 73- Chapter 4/8

Summary: D&D is planned, two characters get their very own breakdowns, Thomas reminisces, and Virgil has one good day

Pairings: (eventual) QPP’s Remus and Patton, Pre-Relationship prinxiety, sibling-y Virgil and Original Character, Creativitwins

Read on AO3

Word count: 3326

Warnings: Questionable parenting, period-typical homophobia, the foster system, semi-graphic (?) depictions of violent death, rage breakdown, nervous breakdown, minor arson.

Other notes: None!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Logan quite frankly had no idea what Janus meant by ‘friendly hissing’. All hissing was a warning sign to potential prey, and wasn’t friendly in any incarnation! How could certain kinds of hissing be friendly? They all sound the same!

This was a level of insanity nearly topping Neil DeGrasse Tyson playing Merlin in the fucking Sharknado movies. But not really. That would top everything. Either way, Janus, someone who also hissed rather often (information citation being Patton) was likely the superior authority in tonal hissing. Logan’s a bit too sleep-deprived looking up resources for ghosts and surviving midterms to care too much.

Either way, the Dungeons and Dragons planning session was starting today. Everyone would be there at lunch this time and that meant that one, he would get to see his brother for the first time since homeroom (no common classes on Wednesdays was not ideal), and meeting with the rest of their newfound friends.

(Logan had never had anyone other than Virgil, and the rest seem to be alright. Janus knows, anyways, and he didn’t hate Logan for it, so it’s probably alright. He hopes it’s alright.)

“Lo-Lo!! Over here!” comes a friendly voice from his northeast. It’s Patton, who’s waving at him, glasses crooked, big smile. Logan fixes his glasses, and tries to smile back. It works, and even feels real.

Patton from up close certainly looks a bit tired, but he’s still happy enough, so Logan refrains from pointing it out.

When they reach the lunch table tentatively labeled as ‘theirs’, Virgil scoots over to let Logan slot between him and Roman, while Patton curls up next to Janus, relishing being with their siblings again, as much as friends are ‘neat’.

(Maybe he’s been getting back into Welcome to Night Vale. Maybe Amma cried and hugged him, calling it progress and Mom sat next to him and listened to her own show, the Magnus Archives and held him close. Maybe Virgil squeezed him tight and brought out the ‘What the Fuck is Happening in Night Vale’ board they’d made when they were twelve. He’d never tell)

Remus starts to hand out sheets of paper, asking everyone to draw their characters while he and Virgil work on plot, and it’s quiet in that little space of three pairs of siblings sketching out D&D characters, later talking about little things, big things and everything in between in the courtyard because the senior kids had exams and therefore none of them had last period. It was pleasant, and they’d all be paying their third ever group visit to Thomas later in the afternoon, too.

This was nice.

…

“Hey, Vi?” Hildi asked from behind him. They were sitting back-to-back, on her bed listening to a new album from All Time Low. The name didn’t matter too much yet.

“Yeah, Di?”

“Wanna do low level arson?” she asked, turning to face him and reclaiming her earbud. This was probably a terrible idea, but Hildi was the one person he wasn’t scared of acting out horrific ideas with. He smiles, and it’s reflected in Hildi’s eyes, dark green like the forest she lives in.

“Sure, why not?” he gets up, and Hildi turns around again for him to take his binder off and put on a sports bra, before putting his jumper (that Patton had given him for his birthday last week) back on, and patting his jean pockets for his phone. Once he knew everything was there, Hildi turned back to him, took his hand and led him outside. - “Okay, so how did you possibly, in any fucking timeline convince me to set fire to your old ‘Secret Diaries’ in the middle of the very flammable woods as if it was, at all, anything REMOTELY RESEMBLING a good idea?!”

“The power of friendship, Virge. Don’t fret, the damages are going to be well hidden in a week.”

“Oh my god but this is how forest fires start, were we crazy?!”

“Virgil calm down, nothing is more than slightly scorched, nothing is dead, and we caught every last ember! You’d know!”

“How would I know? Isn’t that more your department?”

“Spend enough time with a witch, and this is what happens. I regret nothing.”

“I regret so many things.”

“Sadness.” - “Hey, scaredy-bro, Love you.” Hildi whispers into the night, and Virgil remembers nights like this in middle school, when he started to realise that not everyone was as scared as him all the time, and he’d become more scared because everyone was watching, and laughing, and--

And Hildi had been there, a casual acquaintance from primary school becoming his best friend becoming his kind of sister because what other word is there (?), offering him trash earbuds that made the grunge music sound that much grungier, and holding him close on the nights Logan came home, unable to speak, covered in bruises, never letting Virgil tell their parents even though Logan was their twin and Virgil was so scared-- She caught him as he fell, and he hopes that she knows that he’ll forever be grateful for it.

“Love you too, you fucking danger noodle.”

Hildi chucks a throw pillow at him. It misses by at least three feet, falling off the shared bed. They both giggle, loud enough that Hildi’s mum ‘ssh’’s them from her own room, audible even with the closed door.

Three hours later, knowing full well that Virgil’s been on tumblr this whole time, Hildi whispers again.

“Hey, let’s look for Kelpies in the creek tomorrow”

This is an awful idea. But it has fewer environmental ramifications.

“Sure, why not. After December break?”

“Fuck yeah.”

They don’t last a lot longer after that.

…

Virgil wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find when he went to check on Roman, after it was ten minutes past final bell and he still hadn’t shown in the chemistry room after going back to pick up his papers.

Having a minor breakdown was not on that list, even though murder was. Virgil’s brain needed new priorities.

“Ro-Ro, Roman, what’s happening?”

“I-I can’t Virgil, I can't do it, please, I’m sorry” Virgil’s hands clenched tighter onto Roman’s shirt collar, knuckles white from the worry.

“You can't do what, Roman?” he asks, as gently as he can

“I-I’m so scared, Virgil. Mom’s not doing well, Dad’s doing the opposite of helping, and Remus and I don’t know what to do, Virgil. They keep f-fighting. The last time we tried to tell, it was by accident, and Mom had gotten so mad, and she’d said “If you keep talking about how Mom and Dad fight, then there won’t be a mom and dad’ and I can’t-- I can’t live without her, I can’t, Virgil!” Roman blubbers into his shirt, staining his hoodie and and pressing against his (currently unbound, but no big deal) chest, but Virgil literally could not give a shit about his hoodie right then, pulling him closer and cradling Roman’s head in the crook of his neck, one hand in his (fluffy, holy shit is this cotton?) hair, the other cradling his back. Roman smells like wood and some kind of flower.

“Have you told her any of this, Ro?” Virgil asks, and Romab lets out a bigger sob, burying himself into Virgil’s torso. Virgil knew that Roman’s parents weren’t on the best of terms right now, even though they kept trying to be good parents, but this? This was new.

“I c-can’t because-hic- She’ll get more upset, and she’s alsways so close to snapping and i can’t tell dad because he’ll get angry and I can’t tell Remus because he knows but he doesn’t, he doesn’t---fuck”

“Doesn’t?” prompts Virgil, softly into Roman’s hair, muffled by the soft chestnut curls.

“know, not same as I do, he doesn’t get sad, he gets mad, and he doesn’t want to become like dad but he stops talking and locks himself in rooms to not yell at people and I don- I don’t wanna make it worse.” he says softly, and Virgil starts stroking his hair, as a way to try and calm Roman down, trying not to cry a bit himself. He wishes, in a horrible way, that this was a panic attack. He doesn’t know what to do here.

“Could you find a way to maybe more quietly tell her to stay, perhaps?” asks Virgil again, even quieter this time. Roman more feels the words than he hears them, a soothing sort of humming.

“But it’s so selfish, isn’t it? That I think that? She deserves to be happy, and if being without us is happy, then she should, right? But I can’t do this with just my dad- he’s trying, but I can’t, help, please.”

And Virgil doesn’t know what to do, or what to say anymore. So he just holds Roman tighter in that very small corner in the 9-D classroom, and Roman clutches back until he’s cried it out entirely, and is ready to face everyone else. It’s been a few minutes, but they can clean up real quick.

Virgil takes out his spare hoodie and changes into it, Roman with his back turned in the boy’s bathroom, while Roman fixes his hair and washes the drying tear tracks off of his face, which were starting to feel like a mask on his face. He tries for a smile, and it’s small, but at least it’s real.

Virgil passes him a granola bar, and Roman hesitates for a second, before smiling again, taking it in hand and pocketing it. Roman offers his hand for Virgil to take, and he does, feeling the softness of Roman’s hands in comparison to his own, long and calloused with fidget rings on both hands. He squeezes.

Virgil looks up at Roman again, and they share a small smile, before walking out of the bathroom, hand in hand.

Wait- why are his hands glowing?

“Fuck you, Hildi.” he muttered under his breath.

“Huh, what?” Roman looked back at him, questioningly.

“Uh, nothing. Just thinking. ‘Cmon.” he smiles again, and he means it. With Roman, it feels like all his fears can be kept aside for another day.

…

“Oh my god, Remus, no you cannot make yourself a dwarven stripper this is a PG-13 D&D game oh my god--”

Remus looks up from the (probably very gory) conversation he’s having with Patton to reply to Virgil. “And why not? Minnie could be a stripper in the way back!”

“Just… no, thanks.”

“UUUUUGH, you’re no FUN, Virgey.”

“C’mon Bro, you could be… I dunno, a taxidermist?” Remus gets the manic glint back in his eye, snatching his sheet back from Virgil to add in the new information, scribbling frantically. His handwriting is already nigh impossible to read on a good day, so he’d better be able to read his own character sheet.

“Hey Thomas, what do you want to be?” asks Janus, undoing his loops to start a new string game, having finished his character profile- a Tiefling Wizard, about ten minutes ago while Logan became his work partner and roommate (Oh my god they were roommates), a human wizard. Virgil was the DM, therefore without a character other than an ominous voice with anxiety and a god complex at the same time, and Patton and Roman were both Elves, though Patton was an Artificer and Roman was a Bard.

Logan quickly jotted down Thomas’s responding morse code, chuckled, and read it aloud. “He says, and I quote: Can I be the thing that goes bump in the night? But also offer tea and biscuits to wayward travellers.”

Virgil smiles in Thomas’s vague direction, trying to make eye contact with the static. He fails, but Thomas thinks it’s quite nice of him to try.

“You’re too nice, T. I’ll write it down for you.”

You’re too nice

He was too nice to not let them get away with it, to stop them from killing him, to stop them from--

”Oi! You fruitcake, too nice to go running to your boyfriend, huh? Get a taste of this and see whether you’re nice enough to take it.”

He was. He didn’t object to the stuff in the bottle going down his throat, burning up his organs and destroying his body from the inside.

He didn’t have enough vocal chords left to scream, even as the other boy, final year, shook him as if trying to see whether he’s wake up, even as a hole formed in his throat, bleeding and burning and burning and burning--

It’s the last thing Thomas remembers.

“Thomas? Thomas? You’re making static-y noises again. You okay?” it’s Virgil, and it’s been nearly a hundred years and they’re dead and he’s dead and there’s nothing left of anyone he remembers but memories and he pushes aside his last memory, the worst one, to try and think of Valerie, his amazing sister who got to go to his school, sit in the same chemistry room once it was converted into a public school. Terrence, his family friend who came to his gravestone specially when segregation ended, and he could finally come and visit.

Everett, his boyfriend, who kept visiting, every day at four P.M on the dot until he was twenty and left town for college. It feels better to remember them as they were, in loose clothes playing in the woods, hide and seek and dolls and Valerie-the-Nurse and Everett-The-Soldier and Thomas-The-Film-Star and finding ways to get Terrence away to play with them too, as Terrence-The-Mechanic who could fix anything, even emotional problems as their Mom’s tittered and their fathers scowled but they didn’t matter because they were having fun.

He snaps out of it proper when Virgil manages to locate his hand, semi-visible ...

Patton’s pulling at his hair, not enough to fall out but enough to hurt, Sarcastrophe by Slipknot raging through his headphones and he knows that this is bad for his hearing, but at this point if it can drown out the absolute rage pounding in his mind, then going deaf is worth it.

He doesn’t even know why he’s mad. It’s just there and he’s screaming into his sleeves, tears caking on his face for moments before the anger arrives again and there’s a new layer of saltwater on top of it, endlessly endlessly going and he can’t stop it and why can’t it just stop--

There’s someone calling. It’s Remus. And Patton has to be happy and he thinks he might just implode with the… everything building up in him, but he has to do this so he picks up the phone.

“Hi Patty-Cakes!” The nickname makes him want to puke, even though he doesn like it, but he swallows the imaginary bile in his throat and replies.

“H-Hey, Remus.”

“Patton? You alright?” No, not at all he wants to scream and kick and cry but also freeze and never move again and his head hurts and there’s a pit in his stomach that won’t go away!

“YEAH! Uh, yeah. I’m good.” he sniffles, and he hopes Remus didn’t pick up on it. Judging by the silence on the other end, he probably did.

“Pat, please, tell me what’s wrong. I won’t say anything. Just let it out. It usually works for Roman and I, but just- see for yourself, okay?” Remus sounds a little concerned, a little desperate, and Patton thinks Remus can hear him trying to stifle his crying. He tries a little harder and all that comes out is one long moan with hitches for cries and the tears are drying, and Remus starts again, concerned, but Patton can’t hear, because the tears are catching up again and he’s screaming again and his fingernails have cut little red crescent moons into his cheek and it drips a little and Remus is still talking, soothingly and Patton latches onto that voice like it’s the only thing that could possibly carry him through this because it damn well feels like it.

He hears footsteps but not really, too focused on trying to regain control of his breathing, following Remus’s count.

When it's been a few minutes of following the count, and Patton’s breathing has evened out, he wipes off his face in his old faithful broom skirt, always ready for days like these, and he buries himself a little further into his hoodie, covering with it the phone on his ear.

“Patty--”

“No, not that, please.”

“Patton, Do you want to talk about it?”

Yes, actually, but he doesn’t really see the point, since nothing lasts for him. He’s a fucked up foster kid ™ style. Good things don’t happen to him. (Maybe to Janus. Janus deserves good things, good people, better than him--)

“Why wouldn’t this last? And you’re a foster kid?” fuck, he said that aloud? Well, rest in fucking pieces, brain to mouth filter.

“Yeah, f-foster kid here.”

“Janus too?”

“Yeah.” he whispers, throat too tired for anything else. He’s not ready for the universal ‘how’ question, but he’s not been prepared for any of this so far, so maybe he should just not bother.

“Okay. Do your foster parents show any signs of wanting to let you go?” no, not really. In fact, he’d seen Remy and Emile trying to quickly hide a sheaf of papers any time Patton or Janus entered a room, and Patton’s been pushing down the hope as much as possible, even as he sees Janus start to believe it eventually. Patton has to be ready for something to go wrong, he can’t afford to let down his guard, lest he can’t protect Janus anymore. He has to make sure nothing can faze him.

But he wants. He wants so, so badly that sometimes he lies in bed for hours, pushing down the want and trying his best not to cry, until it’s morning and he’s waking Janus up even though he could barely push himself out of bed. He says this to Remus, because he still wants. He wants to stay near Remus forever, recite oddly dark facts and binge-watch the Sharknado movies again while Logan and Janus screech in betrayal and huddle up close and he wants to have this. He wants this so badly.

“Pat, I didn’t know how to say it, but I want to be with you forever too. You like my weird facts, and you stay by me when I’m mad and I want to be there when you’re sad, Patton. I want this too.”

“R-really?”

“Of course, Patton. I don’t lie. Especially not to you.” Patton laughs, somewhat wetly, and Remus’s tone brightens when he hears it, and Patton can feel the smile on the other side of the line, manic-looking but inherently full of kindness, and everything feels a little more okay.

The hurt isn’t gone, but at least he isn’t forcing it down into his large intestine anymore.

“Thanks, Re. I-I’ll talk to Emile and Remy when they come home, okay? I’ll tell you what happened. See you in school tomorrow?”

“Course, Patton. Now I’m gonna go get something for Roman to eat before his stomach acids digest his entire body, eyes and all.”

Patton laughs. “Okay! Just don’t miss your therapy appointment, okay?”

“Never do. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The call finally cuts off, and the timer reads 37:19:73, and he probably spent a good chunk of that time having a breakdown, but strangely enough, Patton doesn’t feel super bad about it. The want is there, and he’s still not super sure about what to do with it, but he knows that he wants it to be real, and even if something does go wrong, he’ll still have Remus’s number.

The door swings open as Janus enters the house, and creaks closed downstairs, and Patton flops onto his bed, eyes still a little red, putting his phone on charge to take a nap. He’ll have emotionally charged conversation, but after this nap, thanks.

[theotherackerman]

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

NOTES: New Year’s Day January 1st, Friday

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm and suicide.

song credit:

marjorie- taylor swift

CHAPTER THREE:  glitter on the floor after the party

Mikasa stood there, absolutely dumbfounded.

Had Eren really just walked away from her again?

The door opened again.

An unmasked Zeke Jaeger stepped back out and sighed.

“Fucking idiot,” he muttered under his breath as he lit a cigarette.

Mikasa looked over at him.

She knew he was right.

She was an idiot.

As if he was reading her mind, Zeke spoke again.

“Him, not you.” He took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around Mikasa’s shoulders.

“Why are you being so nice to me? If it’s out of pity…”

Zeke laughed, “It is not you, I pity. It is him. Eren. He is a fucking idiot. I cannot blame him though. I understand it. My father kept my mom and I a secret, that was bad. What he did to Eren, that was worse.” He took a drag of his cigarette. “Not my place to tell you or I would.”

What could she even say to that?

Eren didn’t want to tell her, he didn’t want to let her in.

Instead he had left her...twice. She didn’t know what she would do if he left a third time.

“Didn’t your dad die of lung cancer?” She asked.

She knew he had.

She had been at his funeral, holding Eren’s hand as Grisha was buried in the ground.

Zeke couldn’t help but laugh, “yeah, he did. Fucker deserved worse.” He stomped on the cigarette before turning to go inside. “Do not stay out here too long. Do not want you getting sick. I should find out where Eren wandered off to.”

She began to remove his jacket.

Zeke held up a hand. “Keep it. It’s Eren’s anyway.”

The door swung open to reveal four very angry women and a very angry Armin.

“I’ll take out his knee caps. Annie, you tackle him and take him down,” Ymir called out.

“I feel awful. I really had no idea Niccolo was in a band with Eren…” Sasha sobbed.

Everyone froze when they saw Zeke and Mikasa.

“Hello,” Zeke said with the tiniest of waves.

“Zeke?” Armin questioned.

“Hello, Armin. Mikasa probably needs you all right now. I have to find out where my brother wandered off to this time.”

“Well then you can take Annie and me right to him. Today is the day he loses those kneecaps!” Ymir cracked her knuckles.

Zeke just laughed, “Eren deserves it, there is no doubt, but as his brother, I must protect him. He only began to walk again..”

Everyone’s eyes began to widen as Zeke realized what he had said.

“Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that," Zeke remarked.

Mikasa felt as if she was lost at sea, she was drowning.

Her eyes began to fill with tears.

Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest.

Eren hadn’t been able to walk?

What was wrong with him?

She couldn’t breathe.

“Zeke, what is wrong with Eren?” Armin spoke up.

“Mentally or physically?”

“Both,” Historia whispered.

Zeke ran his hand through his hair before he lit up another cigarette. “He is going to kill me for even saying that much...I suppose there is no problem with telling you what is already common knowledge.”

“We already know he’s bipolar. I found the band’s website on Instagram,” Annie said as she walked towards Mikasa. She took her hand, slowly pulling her in front of the girls. Sasha took Mikasa's other hand and rested her head on Mikasa’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Mika,” Sasha whispered.

“It’s okay,” Mikasa replied.

They all turned their attention back to Zeke who seemed to be observing them all with great c uriosity.

“Then you already saw that his liver went bad too. I cannot tell you much else. There are other things wrong with Eren but like your loyalty to Mikasa, my loyalty is to my brother. He may be an asshole but he is my family. My only family. I do not ask you to understand or even forgive him. I think he is acting like an idiot,” Zeke paused to take a drag of his cigarette. “ While he is my only family, I was not his. I do not agree with him leaving his other family because things got hard. He is acting like our father by doing that.”

“Is he going to die?” Mikasa’s voice cracked.

“We’re all going to die but no. Not anytime soon. The treatment of his liver was successful. I should really go find him and you all should get out of the cold. Goodnight, ladies and Armin.”

And with that, Zeke Jaeger disappeared into the night to find his brother.

No one moved to go inside. They all looked to Mikasa for what they should do next.

“I’m tired,” she whispered.

“Let’s go back to the hotel then. Limo is out front already. I thought we’d need a getaway car,” Historia laughed.

Mikasa’s eyes were still filled with tears, her heart was still racing, and it was hard to breathe.

But she wasn’t drowning or lost at sea anymore.

No, she was safe.

She couldn’t help but feel bad for Eren.

She had once been his anchor but now, he had no one. So she began to cry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zeke didn’t have to go very far to find Eren. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the van they had rented to move the equipment. Zeke walked around the driver’s side and opened the door.

“You want to tell me what that was about?” Zeke asked as he climbed into the car.

Eren said nothing.

“Should I schedule you for a session?” Zeke asked.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

No, Eren wasn’t sure.

He felt more broken than he had when the night had started.

He hadn’t expected to see her here. The last he had heard, she had moved away to pursue her dreams with her new band.

Eren was not ready for this. He had thought he had been when he had sent her the letter.

But how wrong he had been.

“Am I sure I’ll be fine? No. I just want to go home and go to sleep. Is that okay?” Eren answered as he clicked his seatbelt into place.

--------------------------------------------------------

Why had they all slept on the floor of their suite when there three bedrooms each with two beds attached?

Well it was simple.

No one wanted to leave Mikasa alone. Mikasa was very grateful for her friends.

After stopping for breakfast, they all went back to the Ackerman house.

“I’m sorry, Mikasa,” Sasha apologized again.

“Sasha, really. It’s not your fault. Go be with your family. Isn’t Connie coming over so you, Jean, and him can watch movies? I promise. I’m not mad.” Mikasa hugged her friend tightly so she knew they were okay.

Annie and Armin were awkwardly standing by Annie’s car while Ymir and Historia were standing by the limo.

“You guys can go too. I’m fine. Levi is here. Hange is here. Besides, there’s something I have to do today.”

Armin gave her a look.

He knew exactly where she was going.

She nodded.

Ymir, Historia, and Annie look at each other.

“Text us if you need us,” Armin said before he got into Annie’s car.

The other three followed his lead.

As she opened the front door, two furry creatures moved in for the attack. They began to bark and run around her legs.

“Ahh!” She screamed as she shut the door behind her and dropped her bag.

“Sawney! Bean!” Hange yelled as the dogs continued to run laps around Mikasa’s legs.

“Puppies?” Mikasa was very confused at the moment.

“Levi’s. Late Christmas gift. His therapist said that a pet would be good for him. I found these guys. They’re corgis! Look at their little legs!”

The two potato size golden furred creatures jumped up trying to get Mikasa’s attention.

“They’re extremely smart! They can herd cattle with those tiny legs!” Hange picked up one of the puppies and handed it to Mikasa. The puppy began licking her face.

“Tiny legs...sounds like someone else I know…” She muttered as she petted the corgi.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Those jokes never get old, brat,” Levi remarked as he walked into the room holding two flower bouquets. “Sure you don’t want me to come?”

Mikasa sat the puppy down on the floor and took the flowers from Levi.

“No, I’ll be fine. Keys?”

Levi handed her the keys.

“I’ll be back soon.”

-------------------------------

The graveyard was always empty on New Year’s Day which was why Mikasa always made a stop here. She strolled through the headstones before coming to a stop. She gently placed one the flower bouquets on the grave.

“Hey, Mom. Hi, Dad.” She sat down in front of the grave. “I wrote 40 songs since I saw you last. Historia and I are really making good music together. I wish I had her voice though. She can hit those high notes and my voice just can’t. Levi said you were the same way, Mom. Your voice was lower when you sang. He said when you’d come over, you'd go play the piano and just sing. Even though it was Dad’s family…..it didn’t matter. You just came in and made it yours too….” She could feel the tears rolling down her face.

“He let the piano get out of tune. Hange bought him two puppies. They’re corgis. He thinks I don’t know how hard he’s struggling. He wants me to live my own life but some days, I just wish he’d admit it. He’s too proud.”

She wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Ymir and Historia are having problems. I hope they figure it out. I know they're meant to be together. Armin and I made up. I missed him. He wasn’t really to blame anyway. Eren’s bad off...I saw him. He’s not...I don’t know. I don't know what is going on and I don’t know why I care. He’s still got your ring, Dad. He sent me the box back so I don’t know what’s in it. I’m afraid to open it. I….I just don’t know and I really need you, Mom. I need you to be here and be a mom. I can’t talk to Levi about this. I can’t talk to my friends because they hate Eren and I hate him too...at least that is what I tell myself.”

She began to cry harder, “I miss him. I really do but...what do I do?”

She fell silent as she allowed herself to cry. The ache in her chest from losing her parents was indescribable. She could have used a mother right now.

After she stopped crying, she stood up. “One more person to visit today. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Mikasa began her walk to the other side of the cemetery.

As she grew closer to the grave, she heard the soft music of an acoustic guitar playing.

Her heart leapt up into her throat.

It couldn’t be.

Fate could not be that cruel.

But it was.

She saw Carla’s grave and Eren sitting in front of it. His hair was pulled up into a bun. He didn’t look up or acknowledge her at all. She placed the flowers on Carla’s headstone before sitting down next to Eren.

The music was soothing.

She closed her eyes and just listened to him play. She hadn’t heard him play since his dad had died until last night. She remembered the hours he had put into learning the guitar, even more than she had put into learning piano. One day, he had played until his fingers bled, Carla had taken his guitar away. Carla had told Eren that he needed to learn balance. He couldn’t push himself that hard.

A lesson that Mikasa knew Eren still hadn’t learned yet.

She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

As she continued to listen to each cord, she realized this was an entirely new song that she had never heard before. Had Eren written this on his own or was this something he had created with his band?

Every note began to swim around in her head. She could create lyrics from these notes. Lyrics about what? She remembered where she was but it was almost as if she could hear her parents and Carla speaking to her through the music.

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],” She sang quietly causing Eren to stop playing for a moment. She didn’t open her eyes, she didn’t want to ruin this moment.

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],” she sang again.

Eren resumed his playing.

It felt so comforting.

It was as if everything else melted away.

She opened her eyes, daring to look at Eren.

He held her gaze from a moment which allowed her to really see him.

There were dark circles underneath his eyes. It was clear he hadn’t had any sleep. He looked away from her.

She couldn’t help but become self conscious.

Should she leave? Had she intruded on a moment between mother and son?

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],” Eren sang, making Mikasa realize truly how much she had missed his voice.

Sure, she had heard it the night before but this was different.

This felt private like it was  something only to be shared between them.

They had written songs together before, yes.

Nothing like this though.

Nothing so deeply personal.

When Eren stopped playing, Mikasa was pulled from her thoughts.

“See you later, Mom,” he said as he stood up and readjusted his guitar.

He looked down at Mikasa before offering her his hand.

She took it, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

They began to walk together out to the parking lot.

Mikasa didn’t see Eren’s car in the parking lot.

“Zeke will be back in a couple hours,” Eren muttered as he looked down at the ground.

“I can take you home...to your home.” She looked up at him. He was staring at her. “Carla would kill both of us if I left you here in the cold for hours.”

“I’ve been through worse,” he muttered before he nodded.

The awkwardness between them was almost too much for Mikasa to handle.

She should have left him in the cold.

She should have never offered to take him home but she couldn’t leave him.

Even after all the horrible things he had said to her, done to her, she couldn’t just leave him here alone in a cemetery parking lot.

She unlocked Levi’s car and climbed in.

Eren hesitated for a moment before he got inside.

“I’m at the old house,” he told her before buckling his seatbelt.

Mikasa reversed the car and backed out of the space.

[breanime]

Helpless (Part Five)

Guess who ain’t dead? THIS SERIES! Thank you sooooo much for your patience you guys, I hope this was worth the wait. Also, before I begin, I’d like to give a public thank you to @something-tofightfor​​ for talking me through my anxiety with this fic. Thanks for being a sounding board for me. 

Quick recap (since it’s been a few months): You’re a talented getaway driver for a heist team led by your adopted father, crime lord Joseph Yakavetta. During your last heist, things go wrong, Yakavetta kills one of your crew, then shoots and kills your brother, Ronnie, when he tries to walk away. Heartbroken and now totally alone, you decide to work with Homeland Security to bring Yakavetta down as their witness. But it’s a dangerous gig, so the lead agent of your case, Dinah Madani, hires an outside consultant to work as your security detail: Billy Russo. The thing is, though, that you’ve met him before. A year ago, you and Billy met in a bar and started a steamy affair until one day... he just stopped calling. Now he’s your personal bodyguard, and after spending a few days cooped up in safe houses with him, you can’t resist your attraction to him, and the two of you sleep together. It made for a good distraction for the emotional turmoil you were going through, but now you were stuck with Billy for who knows how long--just the two of you...and a lot of unresolved feelings. 

*banner by @starkrobb​​*

You slept like a rock, no bad dreams—no dreams at all, just a solid night of sleep for the first time in a long time. You blinked, lying on your side, staring at the wall. You were naked, and you knew you didn’t put yourself to bed last night, which meant…

Billy.

Billy must have carried you and tucked you in last night. The thought made your face burn, and you wrapped your arms around yourself. You groaned; just that small bit of movement made you realize just how sore you were. You licked your lips, thinking about the feel of Billy on top of you, inside of you, the way his hips slammed into you… Fuck. The two of you fucked. You sat up, wincing at the delicious ache in your muscles and hips. Billy always left you with sore limbs and fond memories, and when you used to fantasize about those times, you would get a little thrill thinking about it, but now… As you woke up naked and alone, all you could think about was the day he stopped answering your calls.

You rolled onto your stomach, burying your chin in your pillow. It didn’t matter. Billy did you a favor, helping you release some of that tension that came with being a wanted woman. He was doing you a favor by protecting you. He said something before, about taking this assignment (you) for “personal reasons”, but whatever curiosity he had about you, you were sure he was cured of it now. Hell, he did you a favor by falling off the face of the earth a year ago. You were getting too used to him, looking forward to spending time with him, thinking about him when he wasn’t with you—that wasn’t you. You were speed. You were the roar of an engine. You were burning rubber. You didn’t pine. Billy saved you from that. You should be—you were—grateful.

And hell, besides that—who had time to wonder about why Billy stopped calling you a year ago? Your brother was dead. The thought hit you like a bullet—like the bullet that had taken Ronnie down, and you closed your eyes. A new pain, a visceral, scorching pain, went through you like a bolt of lightning. Ronnie. It was like you were hit with his death every time you woke up; you’d have a few seconds of blissful ignorance when you first woke up before you remembered: you were all alone in the world, and you would stay like that.

Billy didn’t know what to do with himself. He’d slept well that night, better than he had in a slew of nights, but when he woke up, he couldn’t turn his mind off. All he could do was think of last night; the feel of you wrapped around him, the sweet sounds you made, the way you said his name… It had been different, this last time, than it’d been before when the two of you were just fooling around. Things seemed… more charged. Billy was pacing, cutting a trail in the floorboards from the kitchen, to the living room, and back. He shouldn’t have done that, but damn, he didn’t regret it, not when he could still taste you on his tongue.

Fuck, he’d missed fucking you.

All this time, all the meaningless hook-ups and one-night stands, they meant nothing to Billy, never have. But you. Man, you stuck in his mind like a fucking bullet in the flesh, unavoidable and final. He thought that this… job… was going to bring him some kind of closure, but instead, he was more involved than ever. He turned, starting his trail again, and thought about the feel of your warm cheek under his lips when he kissed you goodnight, the feel of you in his arms as he carried you up to your bed. He didn’t know why it felt so right, but it did.

And that terrified him.

Billy never needed anybody, the closest things he had to loved ones were Frank and Curtis, and he’d fucked that up. But now… with you? He felt like a fucking junkie, everything on his plate, all the shit he had to do, and all he could think about was how bad he wanted his next fix. He heard movement upstairs and froze. He wondered what you were thinking. You’d asked him to have sex with you because you were bored and getting cabin fever… but he couldn’t help but wonder—hope, even—that maybe you felt that same kind of uncontrollable connection that he did. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to get his heart rate under control before you came down the steps. He felt like shit, like he was in the same league as Homeland, taking advantage of you. But he also knew that wasn’t the case. He didn’t know what it was, but Billy knew he felt…something for you. Genuine feelings of tenderness that he hadn’t even know he was capable of. But now that he knew, he had no idea what the hell to do with those feelings.

He stopped, turning towards the stairs as he heard you coming down. “Hey,” he greeted you, nodding.

“Hey…” You said back.

You were wearing a sweater that Billy wanted to help you out of, and he glanced away, making an effort to control the desire that he was sure was showing in his eyes. “You okay?” He asked, half because he needed something to say, and half because he was genuinely curious.

“Mm hmm,” you said, walking past him and into the kitchen, “You hungry?”

Billy put his hands in his pockets, watching as you started gathering pots and pans and placing them on the stove. “Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Eggs? Pancakes?” You asked, going to the fridge.

“Kinda late for breakfast.”

You stopped and glanced up at the clock. It was well after 1 pm. “Oh.” You stopped. “Lunch then?”

“Sure,” he agreed, taking a seat at the table. He watched you, frowning as you moved about the kitchen. You were avoiding making eye contact with him, and he didn’t like it. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” you answered, drizzling oil onto a pan, “I’m good.”

“You’re acting kind of jumpy,” Billy went on.

“I said I was fine.”

“Is this because we had sex?” He asked, casually blunt.

You stopped, hand on the handle of the pan. A moment passed; you didn’t move, and neither did Billy. Finally, you turned to face him. “Why’d you stop calling?” You asked.

Now Billy froze. “What?”

You put your hand on your hip. “Before. Last year. Why’d you stop calling me? And why’d you stop answering my calls? You just fell off the face of the earth.”

Billy licked his lips. “I was… I had to leave town,” he answered, “to take care of some business.”

“Mm…” You nodded. “But why didn’t you just call me and tell me that?”

He bristled. This wasn’t how he imagined the morning after to go. “What does it matter?” He asked back. “It’s in the past.”

That was the wrong thing to say. Billy watched your walls go up, and he wondered if this was what people felt when he blocked himself off to them—the surprise and uncertainty and… hurt? Shit.

“You’re right,” you said, turning around again, “it doesn’t matter. Forget I asked.”

Shit. Billy stood up, unsure of what to say or do. “Y/N—”

“—It’s fine,” you said, your back still turned to him.

“Hey,” Billy put a hand on your shoulder, making you turn, “I don’t… That wasn’t…” He rolled his neck, trying to find what he wanted to say. “…Hold on.” The look in your eyes; closed off and guarded, man… You should never look like that, especially when you were with him. You opened your mouth, and Billy knew he couldn’t stand to hear another “it’s fine”, so he stopped you from speaking—

—by kissing you.

You melted into his touch easily, and Billy picked you up and set you down on the table, his mouth never leaving yours. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist, groaning into the kiss when his hands gripped your ass, bringing you even closer. He pulled back suddenly, his dark eyes wide and unblinking, and your breath caught in your throat as you stared back at him.

“I—” you began.

“Be quiet,” he growled out, head turning to look behind him, “someone’s outside.”

“What?” You whispered, hopping off of the table, heart pounding—or at least, pounding for a different reason now.

Billy reached into the waistband of his pants and pulled out a gun that you had no idea he’d been wearing. “You remember the code?” He asked you, eyes still glaring off into the distance, seeing and hearing things that were lost to you.

You nodded. “Uh, yeah… 3-7-2…5-6?”

“3-7-2-6-5,” he said, taking your wrist and pulling you to the corner of the kitchen—away, you realized, from all of the windows and doors, “Stay here.” He took a step forward, but stopped when his phone rang. He groaned, and you watched the tension bleed out of his shoulders. “Madani,” he said around a weary sigh, “that you out there?”

You sighed, too. Great. Madani was here, which probably meant… Well, you didn’t know what it meant—it could mean Homeland cut the funding for your personal security and you were fucked, or it could mean they arrested Joe and you’d have to testified—and were fucked—or maybe it meant you could actually go into real Witness Protection and would have to say goodbye to Billy and…were fucked.

“Why?” He asked, heading towards the door. “Of course she’s here, where else would she be?” He opened the door and hung up the phone, frowning down at Madani. “This is not procedure,” he said as a greeting.

“This location’s been compromised,” Madani said, marching into the room, “You can’t stay here.”

“What?” You and Billy asked at the same time. Your heart was racing yet again, and suddenly the room seemed much too small.

“That’s impossible,” Billy said.

“There’s been…” Madani’s eyes darted from you, to Billy, and back again. “…Yakavetta’s influence has reached Homeland. Someone has been bugging my office, and they hacked my accounts, and…” She took a breath. “Stein and I found the bug,” she finished, “but it’s not safe for you to be here anymore, I… I’m sorry.”

“Fucking Homeland…” Billy muttered, stalking upstairs. “Don’t let her out of your sight!” He called down.

You pointed your thumb over at Madani. “He talkin’ to you or me?” You asked.

“I really am sorry, Y/N,” Madani said around a sigh, “I thought… I should have been more careful… I knew there were cops and agents on the take, but I never thought…” She shook her head. “This goes deeper than I thought it did; Yakavetta has reach in places I never anticipated. We have to rethink our strategy here.” She took a step towards you. “Russo will keep you safe, Y/N, and I’ll make sure this never happens again. I never meant to—”

“—What?” Billy asked, coming back down with two bags slung over his shoulder. “You never meant to dangle her out in front of Yakavetta like a carrot? Or you did, but you just didn’t mean for his guys to be that quick on the draw and track us down?”

“I miss calculated,” Madani’s jaw was clenched, “It could have happened to anyone, Russo.”

“Right,” he rolled his eyes, “I need five minutes to clear this place out,” he turned to you, “I already got your stuff,” he informed you, “I need you to eat something real quick, then we’re heading out.”

“Where are we going?” You asked as he stalked off.

His answer came from the next room: “Away.”

“Hey,” Madani took hold of your arm and pulled you close, “listen, I know my office probably doesn’t look very good to you right now—”

“—I mean, I’d be lying if I said I was impressed,” you drawled.

“—But Russo…” She leaned in. “He’s the best, I’ll admit, but he’s… He isn’t…” She sighed. “Just don’t… Don’t fall for the charm,” she warned, voice low, “He’s good looking and competent, and I know that can be…”

Irresistible.

“…Attractive,” she went on, “but he’s not your knight in shining armor, so just… Just don’t fall for it, alright?”

You stepped back. What the hell? “So who, exactly, is my knight in shining armor? Homeland Security, whose home isn’t even secure?” You asked, crossing your arms. “No offense, but I’ll take my chances with Billy.” With that, you turned and went to the stove, following Billy’s instructions to eat before it was time to go. You sighed; you could still feel his lips on yours…

...You could still feel Ronnie’s cold body in your arms.

About five minutes later, Billy was packing you into the car and muttering some orders and specifics to Madani.

“Is this going to mess up your business?” You asked as Billy drove, trying to distract yourself from the ache that came with being in a car but not being behind the wheel. “The whole safehouse being compromised thing?”

“Nah,” he answered, “This shit is on Homeland, not Anvil. And even with it being compromised, we could have stayed there if we had enough firepower, but…” He shrugged one-shoulder, and the action paired with the sight of Billy Russo behind the wheel (driving with one hand), made you ache for a completely different reason. “This operation works best on stealth…” He glanced over at you. “We should talk about what happened in the kitchen.”

“With Madani?”

Billy raised an eyebrow. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

You sighed, sinking down into your seat. “So you’re a talker all of a sudden, Russo?”

He chuckled. “I guess so…” He glanced over at you. “Look, I know we kind of crossed a line last night…”

“Kind of?” You questioned, tilting your head to the side.

“…and this morning,” he went on, “But I’m gonna be honest with you… I just…” He took a breath. “You took me by surprise.”

You smirked. “I tend to do that.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I mean in general. When you came into my life, I was… I wasn’t looking for anything special, wasn’t looking to get attached but…” He looked like he was swallowing nails. “I think I did.”

“You think?”

He glanced over at you, his dark eyes serious. “I did,” he amended, “I know I did. And I know it isn’t the same for you—”

“—How do you know that?” You asked. “How would you ever have known what it was like for me when you just abandoned me?” You sat up, twisting in your seat so that you could face him. You felt your chest tightened, and it was only in that moment that you realized just how hurt you’d been from Billy disappearing on you like that. “It’s not like—not like I wanted anything from you,” you went on, “We were just hooking up, and I know you had no obligation to me, and that’s how we both wanted it, but…” You sat back again, deflating. “I dunno, man… It was just shitty.”

Billy sighed. “Yeah, I know. It… It wasn’t my intention, to just ghost you like that, but that’s what ended up happening, and… You didn’t deserve that.” His hand flexed on the wheel, and you wondered if he was going to reach out and touch you, but he didn’t. “And you don’t deserve this—what Homeland’s doing to you.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “They’re the least of my problems.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Billy assured you, “I’ll protect you.”

You bit your lip, silently reminding yourself why Billy was even here in the first place—this was a job to him. You were a job to him. You turned, staring out the window. Everything was moving so fast, the fields and road and clouds, and that was the way you liked it. Speed had always been your primary setting, and you felt safe and secure behind the wheel. Your grip around yourself tightened. It’d been a long time since you’d felt that way. Though, truth be told, you’d gotten a small fix last night with Billy—fleeting as it was. In order to distract yourself, you tried to focus in on the sound of the engine and the low whipping of wind hitting the outside of the car. But there was another sound—a very familiar sound—that was building as you listened on. You perked up, and you could feel Billy’s eyes on you. “You hear that?” You asked.

“Hear what?”

“That,” you answered, sitting up now, “the sound of a souped-up engine!”

“Shit,” Billy’s eyes were on the rearview mirror now, and he put both hands on the wheel, “We’re being tailed.”

You turned, and sure enough, there were three black cars coming in fast. Your mouth watered at the sight and sound of them. “Homeland?”

“Not a chance,” Billy said, “Here,” he reached in his pocket and handed you his phone in a surprisingly intimate gesture, “text Madani and tell her we’re being followed.”

You did as you were told, turning to see the cars getting closer with each passing second. “We gotta lose them.”

“I know,” Billy said between clenched teeth, “sit back…”

“I can do it,” you offered, “I can drive—”

“—No.”

You frowned. “Why not? I know what I’m doing, I can—”

Your train of thought was interrupted by the shattering of glass, and Billy reached over and pushed you down, covering you with his upper body and arms. You heard a pop and realized they were shooting at you. You covered your head with your arms.

“Stay down!” Billy called out, taking out a gun and pointing it out the window, letting off a round of shots. The car swerved as he aimed, and he grabbed the wheel with his free hand, trying to keep control of the car. “Shit!”

There were more shots, and you flinched, brushing the broken glass out of your hair before looking back up at Billy. He had shards of glass sticking out of his arm—the one covering you and grasping the wheel—and he was trying to shot back, but he was having a hard time doing that while driving.

“Let me help,” you said, reaching over and grabbing the wheel.

“I don’t—”

“—We don’t have time to argue,” you interrupted, “You shot; I’ll drive!”

“Shit,” he said again, “Fine.” Billy pulled you into his lap, and you grabbed the wheel. “Keep heading straight,” he said as he turned, another gun suddenly in his hand, “then turn down the sideroad.”

“Yeah,” you grinned, foot over Billy’s on the accelerator, “Got it.” Fuck—it felt amazing being behind the wheel again. You turned, grin widening as the third car crashed into the bushes when it tried to follow you. Billy was shooting freely now, and you could tell he’d hit his mark a few times, because the other two cars were lagging behind now, trying to avoid getting shot. You eased up on the gas a bit, so that Billy could take his next shot, and he did—hitting the driver of the second car. You watched as the car veered off into the side of the road, leaving one left.

“Can you lead this guy under that bridge?” Billy asked. He had ducked back into the car to reload, and he pointed ahead with his chin. There was a low bridge a few miles ahead.

You nodded. “I’m on it.”

You moved the car expertly—slightly impressed with the strength of it—and slowed down just enough for the other car to think he had you before speeding up again. Billy was shooting at will, but you could tell that he was purposefully missing the driver; only a true marksman could hit the kind of deliberate targets that he was hitting.

“I need to get a look at the driver,” Billy said, twisting underneath you as he shot towards the other car, “Can you…?”

“I gotcha,” you said. You hit turned the wheel, grinning as the smell of rubber wafted through the air, and circled the car that had been following you. Expertly, you maneuvered your car so that it was now on the side of your assailant. “Good enough?” You asked, ducking in case the guy shot.

You needn’t had worried. “Perfect,” Billy grinned, taking his gun and shooting the man right between the eyes, his aim impeccable. You moved the car so it wouldn’t be hit as the last car—now driverless—spun out of control. Billy gripped your waist with his free hand and putting the other over yours on the wheel. “Pull over.”

As soon as you were out of the car, Billy was in front of you, his hands on your face and arms, checking you for injuries. “You okay?” He asked, eyes searching you for any sign of hurt or discomfort.

“I’m great!” You laughed, covering your pounding heart with your hand. “Fuck, I—I needed that!” You turned, watching the clouds of smoke fill the air from the wrecks a few miles away. “Holy shit, did you see that? They were trying to kill us—to kill me!” You ran a hand through your hair. “Fuck, your car drives nice!”

“Hey,” Billy put both hands on either side of your face, stilling you, “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah,” you breathed out.

“You sure? You’re not hurt?” He asked.

You gave another nod. “I’m fine, I—” You looked down at his arms. “—You’re bleeding.”

“Flesh wounds,” he said, dropping his hands and stepping back, “We need to get out of here.”

“Can I drive?” You asked eagerly.

Billy snorted, going to the trunk of the car and grabbing your bags. “We’re leaving the car.”

“What?”

“We’re setting it on fire, actually,” he said, dropping the bags at your feet. He had a can of gasoline in his other hand.

“What?!”

“Homeland’s been compromised,” he said, crouching down and digging through his bag. He stood up with some kind of bulky radio and a box of matches in his free hand. “That guy back there,” he gestured towards the nearest cloud of smoke, “He works in Madani’s office, I’ve seen him around before. This is more than just a bug; she’s got someone on the take in her own team…”

You watched, speechless, as Billy doused the car in gasoline. He struck a match and tossed it onto the hood, and the two of you stood there and watched it burn.

“So…” You looked at Billy, the shadow of the flames dancing on his handsome face. “…what next?”

“You still got my phone?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You held it out to him, but he didn’t take it.

“I need you to dial the security code, the one from the safehouse, and give the guy who answers this location.” He handed you the radio, which you realized was some kind of military grade GPS. “And here,” he reached down and pulled out a gun from his bag, “just in case,” he said, handing it to you. He turned to walk off.

“Wha—where are you going?” You asked.

Billy must have heard the fear in your voice, because he turned back and put a hand on the side of your face. His eyes were dark and deep, and as you looked into them, you could happily drown. “I’m gonna go back and make sure those guys are all dead,” he said honestly, “It’ll only take a minute. I need you to make this call, and I’ll be right back.”

You nodded. His surety had calmed you. “Yeah, okay…” You looked down at the phone. “The code’s 3-7-2—”

“Frank,” he answered, turning and walking off again, “the code spells Frank.”

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think; I actually tried prewriting for this series, and I have the next part written already! Love you guys, and thank you so much for reading! Happy Valentine’s day, my loves!

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast​ @jigsawlover10​ @gollyderek​  @charlylama @realduckvader​ @teacuplotus @whovianayesha​  @lexxierave​ @loveintheroyalfamily  @fanfictionrecommendations-com​  @maxslime-blog​ @songforhema​ @lucielandss @themadhatter92​  @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu​ @luckysstrikes​ @carlaangel86​ @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso​ @iaintnofurry​  @ymariejp​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​ @mrsjaxtellerfan​ @holamor​ @drinix​ @rhabakoli​ @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens​ @leahnicole1219​ @evanlys19​  @binbons-is-theloml​ @aikeia​ @bitch-imma-head-out​  @witchygagirl​

Benny B Taglist: @suchatinyinfinity​ @fandomlifeandeverythingelse​ @starkrobb​  @elanor-of-imladris​ @thesumofmychoices​ @marauderskeeper​  @honeyydippaa​  @thebabblingbookworm​ @khuangpu13​ @ladyblablabla​ @woodlandreads  @ms-delos​ @belladonnarey @thesandbeneathmytoes​  @georgiagrl1990 @kahlanmars​  @the-blind-assassin-12​

Benny B Taglist (minus Sirius): @banditthewriter​ @something-tofightfor​​

Helpless Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @accioromancff​ @funerals-with-cake​ @700teacups​ @thesumofmychoices​ @wangmangagavroche​ @aikeia​ @im-a-mess-ness​ @fangirlharbor​ @vhgirlforever​ @coraz0ndcristal​ @contanto-que-voce-me-queira​ @editboutique​ @lysawayne​ @benbarnestongue @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @agent-bossypants @hellsregnantqueen​ @ilkaeliseb​ @kimmie113080​ @sweetybuzz25​​